so the new rowan ellis video was hm. pretty shallow and incohesive is that a new thing or were they always like that and I just didn't notice? been a some time and a few paradigm shifts for me since I watched any of her videos so I gen don't know

can we talk about how icky it is that the game pushes for gale to kill himself one last time before approaching the final boss? how, it's not even gale mentioning it, but the player character thinking without you choosing for them to "yeah this fight would be a lot easier if he just killed himself" even IF he's romanced? does that not imply yet another toxic relationship in gale's future if he's romanced? does that not diminish the value the player character evidently holds in their relationship with gale?

idk man. after talking gale down several times over, that final push for him to kill himself, the ideation of it, felt like a middle finger straight to my face. it made me nauseous.

as complex as other branching arcs are, you'd think that little snippet of a potentially romancing player character idealising gale's suicide wouldn't play, that it wouldn't be so stomach twistingly implied as a supposedly "good" path. that we'd at least get something along the lines of the player character holding to their promise that, yes, we're going to keep gale alive, we can make it through this without any extremes. maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

but no. all my attempts to talk gale down are seemingly moot, here. it's like the game WANTS me to just throw him away and glorify it. that made me feel tiny and icky and gross.

Take me out back, kiss me on the forehead, and kill me quickly.

i cant watch this movie i get sad im not a cis gay guy living in england in the 70s. i need to kill myself

it will never not be funny to me that Tommy’s first foray into deliberate character writing was exile like. he’s just like me for real (whump writer).

"episode 3 of tlou is the greatest zombie media love story of all time" now i KNOW andrew lincoln and danai gurira didn't accidentally almost fuck on camera in Rick and Michonne's murder spree "honeymoon" ep in series 7 of the walking dead for youse to talk NONSENSE.

why don't you like st@ncy? (i don't either i'm just curious)

cuz i like steve ❤️ and i think we should commit biochemical warfare against straight couples to be honest. also they should both get a restraining order against each other and possibly create dolls that look like the other and then set them on fire

forcing myself to look in the mirror and forcing myself to remember it was in fact me who decided i wanted to reread this even though i knew exactly what was waiting for me at the end of this book

mmm... drowning in a lake sounds good right now

turning 20 in a week and its making me feel really young i am excited

it's really ironic to see people say "fandom isn't activism and watching tv shows doesn't make you an ally" (which is true!) only to in the same breath act like someone watching a "problematic" show is doing immense harm to marginalised people. the point is that fandom discourse cannot and should not be a replacement for meaningful engagement in real-life politics/activism, not to endlessly debate whether or not consuming a particular piece of media makes you a good person

These are some wallpapers for my laptop I made! 1st is Rory Gilmore studying and reading, 2nd is Lux Lisbon from The Virgin Su1c1des ^^ beautiful, wise, stunning queens!!! <3

Ok so I know it was a past arc but I’ve been doing a ffs reread and was wondering.

What would Arden have done if Efs attempt was successful. Would he have been able to recover and move past? Or since we are here and I was wondering like. Amnesia au, Ef survives and loses his memory for a while and then is found again and like the question of is it right to make him remember all his trauma all over (though I know amnesia like that can sometimes just go away) I’ve much to ponder!!!

Okay so first things first, I hate hate hate amnesia stories (you didn't know but it's a squick of mine), but it's unethical and horrible as all hell to withhold someone's traumatic past from them just because they don't remember it. Like the visceral 'yuck' response I had to even the idea of that is profound. It's not even a question of if it's right - it's right and ethical and the right thing to do to tell them. But this is one of the many reasons I hate hate hate amnesia fics, the fact that this could ever even be a question fills me with horror and existential dread over the fact that people might withhold the actual authentic truth from me about my own life were anything like that to ever happen to me.

(The other issue I have with it is that 'amnesia fics where the character never recovers their past memories' should be marked with a Major Character Death warning because imho killing the character's mind and personality permanently is the same thing.)

So that's out of the way, sorry anon, I just don't think there's ever anything ethical about withholding someone's truth from them for any reason, and anyone who thinks there is - is putting their own selfish thoughts about 'saving someone' before a person's reality. There is no true 'do over' re: trauma. It is in the body as well as in the mind. And there's nothing to stop the person from having horrific flashbacks down the track and then literally think they're insane because no one told them the truth. If folks want to write that in fic more power to them but I reserve the right to yeet those fics into the sun (i.e. close the tabs or just never see them). Gross.

*takes a deep breath* *sips some tea* I have to stop or I'll just start ranting asdlkfjdafsa (ranting more).

As to Efnisien's suicide attempt, Arden would have recovered and found ways to enjoy life again. That's what people do after tragedies. It's pretty universal. Unless you develop something like Complicated Grief and even that's not meant to be static, and requires professional treatment and support.

It would have taken him a long time, a lot of therapy, and I imagine he might avoid people with PTSD in the future, or he might simply never have another partner because he was happy not having partners in the first place until Efnisien. But it's not like he'd ever forget Efnisien or not be upset about it in the future. Grief re: the loss of a loved one lasts forever. You don't forget it, you just...find a way to keep living and eventually grow room to have good things in your life again.

This was a pretty depressing ask, anon! I hope you're taking care, because I don't think this is where everyone's mind goes when they read FFS.

Fics I will never write: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO SURVIVING YOUR OWN DEATH

Surviving Your Own Death follows a canon-divergent sequence of events circa season 13, in which Crowley finds himself pulled out of the Empty—by his own estranged mother. Forcibly returned not only to life but to his ancestral home of Skye, Crowley must navigate a relationship with Rowena that is just as complicated and awkward as ever, as well as discover what exactly the point of being alive again even is. Far away from the throne of hell and even farther from the Winchesters, it just might be possible to do that. Character study with themes of family, healing, love, complex trauma, and the psychological effects of surviving a suicide attempt. Gen with minor Crowstiel (and past unrequited D.rowley).

𝘛𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘊𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘥

this song. i love it, it gives me this very specific feeling, a mix of the bitter-sweet pain caused by nostalgia and the calmness of taking a walk on a foggy morning. it's how i want to be perceived, it's how i think i feel, naming or really feeling clear emotions isn't my strong suite. this song is everything. it makes me feel less lonely, even tho i am still very lonely, it makes me feel like the loneliness isn't heavy. it makes it feel like it's something almost admiring.

I think this song is part of me now.

like. the “ending” idea literally has all the same flaws as the nuke one but that is because It Was Not Intended As An Ending. like guys ur kinda forgetting that this was conceived as like a second season thing it’s not a “better ending idea” you’re literally shooting yourself in the foot with that bc it turns “oh so everyone died and the characters we spent the last 3 years with are gone” into “oh so everyone died and the characters we spent the last 3 years with are gone also they’re doomed to suffer eternally for zero point or purpose with no possible growth and moving on and there’s no hope ever and there’s zero point to anything they ever do” bc like. that was very clearly not meant to be where the characters were left off bc that'd suck way harder than the actual ending. the cool thing is that it Wasn’t An Ending and is very clearly like a plot thread. like if that was the ending it'd literally be even worse. And it’d also be the “focusing on certain storylines” issue up to eleven bc like it just fucks over anyone with an arc outside of xd. because again it was a plot thread literally stop shooting Bad’s writing in the foot without thinking lol.