hello I saw you mention in tags on that bangin' @gothprentiss gifset that if JJ/Emily is an unrequited situation, then it's JJ whose love is unrequited. I'm into this convo! It makes a lot of sense to me, esp with "200" in mind. If you want to elaborate, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

hi and happy sunday!! im sorry for taking so long to answer but I LOVE this ask and wanted to have enough time to answer it :)

I didn't go into examples of jj being into emily bc I think its obvious lmao from emily's firsts eps when jj is so interested in emily, even more than other team members. this is all about who better fits the yearning, unhappy, pathetically pining stereotype that a lot of fics make emily sdjkfhk

ive always thought if anything happened between jj and emily, emily would've been the one who ended it. esp bc I don't see emily as cheating so it would have to be before jj got serious with will. around that period emily would be readjusting to life after doyle and probably pushing away anyone when it got too deep.

based on that, it would make sense if emily was a little wistful in 3x17, but that's literally all we see of her ✨yearning✨. shes protective of jj and dropped everything to save her, but even tho I ship jemily, u could argue emily is like that with all the team. and with her personality, I don't see emily spending years in love with someone who doesn't love her back. she gives off this energy of confidence and being mostly happy with her life. not that shes not introspective and regretful at times- she is!!!! and I could see her thinking back to jj and wondering "what if", but it'd be brief.

JJ.... skjdfhsk. I love will but JJ seems mostly unhappy in her life with him (even before j***). their entire relationship is him supporting HER and shes focused on their kids lmao. which is fine but my point is that their relationship is one-sided. im also thinking of s12 when shes home with will and admits she knows its not always easy to have her around, and he doesn't argue it. I think that sums up their relationship. she loves him but as the father of her kids. he carries the weight in their relationship

this is not even getting into her imagining emily coming to save her when shes married to will!!! emily never has a moment like that with jj. the closest thing is when she dreams of jj being attacked like the cop from interpol, but that was a professional relationship. and even if u hc that something happened between emily and louise- it would put jj on the same level as some other random relationship

basically emily is just living her life and jj would be the one who's miserable and damaged from it lmao. I personally think its requited and love some jemily angst, but it has to be mutual!!!

Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend

🌴⌛️🐚🌊

Physician/therapist/chemist/etc, heal thyself

a wahoo girl in a wahoo world

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

something something Nico builds Bianca a grave and he puts flowers on her grave and he's mourning the part of him that died with her.

I'm really sick of how people dehumanize mentally ill people who take medication to improve their mental health.

So many assholes say that anti-depressants turn you into a zombie. Or how anti-psychotics make you an idiot. How about you fuck off and mind your own business?

I know that medication doesn't work for everyone, and it doesn't solve every single problem. But it really can save someone's life, and people need to understand how deadly untreated mental illnesses can be.

This

Reminded me of this classic post

And i too am currently out of spoons, would anyone be willing to donate? PLEASE?

All i have is an eyedropper and while i love the 50 pages worth of plot points and character details that is my 4 book WIP, i want to be more than 4 chapter (10k words) into the first draft of book one😭

But i have no spoons!

Im just staring at the puddle thats there with nothing to move the rest of the water

@hdgnj @emeraldincandescent

Lucifer telling Sam "you've gone soft" in 11.10 is soooooooooooooooo...

Yes it's all a manipulation tactic, but Lucifer walking Sam through his memories, things that seem a lifetime ago, saying this is how you were before: bold and decisive - this is the Sam that saved the world, this isn't you anymore - when Lucifer is the reason why Sam is the way he is now. Insane. There are rare moments of gold in supernatural and one of them is when they play on the psychological horror in the fact that Lucifer; his torturer, tormentor, abuser and other half of his soul is the one that knows him best. He knows how powerless Sam feels - now that he's got lifetimes of trauma from the Cage that have skinned and flayed him on every level. His rigorous, borderline obsessive routine he keeps in his daily life through exercising and healthy eating - all to maintain a semblance of control. Yet deep down, it's like he told Rowena in s13:

"It’s not going to change anything. You’re still going to feel helpless."

Just as Lucifer knew that playing on Sam's desperate faith in religion and scramble to achieve purity (to be saved - as he said in s2) would be the only thing to get him to even go near the Cage, Lucifer knows that throwing back in his face his increased docility as time goes on as Sam's true failure and the reason why he will fail everyone around him is the only thing that could make Sam let himself be Lucifer's vessel. The way he spins it to sound like Sam not letting Lucifer out is proof of his weakness and helplessness. What if that was my last straw?

This scene, this whole episode, was so good and it made me want to claw my eyes out.

Lucifer calls him prissy. He says I never liked you but at this point - when you made the hard choice to save the world and condemned yourself in the Cage to me in holy matrimony, I respected you. You're not that person anymore. You're soft and placid and weak and that's something to be ashamed of. You're going to doom the world now because you're too screwed in the head. Look at you and your first romantic affairs when you were younger - Solid B on the tongue action - yes I know that about you too.

Lucifer being all righteous in saying that its the fact that Sam and Dean would do anything to save each other that is the problem that keeps dooming the world. And it's horrible because Sam knows he's right, the viewer knows he's right - their codependency is their moral pitfall, but it's all spiraling to the worst conclusion.

Tell you what - the second half of s11 can shove it's sympathy for the devil routine down my throat all it wants, but I will never stop hating that slimy bastard. The potential of s11 was unmatched in reaping psychological warfare on Sam, and it was a shame that it played out in such a... goofy... unnuanced... cheap semblance of a redemption arc... way that it did. But still, it is scenes like this one that pull through to make the season worth it.

hi so i’ve been listening to a lot of Will Wood’s Against The Kitchen Floor and it’s kinda perfect for them. I wish i had the willpower to animatic this because HHHH (also forgive me it’s been awhile and i’m a little rusty with how they look)

me, entering tumblr after listening to the cardboard box pt2, seeing I am just one of us fools thinking john and sherlock would pretend to be a swingers couple for a case, and knowing we’ve found our place in the world to be fools together:

maybe i seem like the most boring bitch ever now when I go out. no I don’t drink anymore. no I don’t wanna hit your vape. no I quit smoking. no I don’t want any I don’t eat meat. “why” because I’m done rotting mentally and physically from the inside out. I’m sorry if that makes you feel weird about yourself or me

okay, so I WAS live-blogging my read through of @athingofvikings fic, A Thing of Vikings, but I stopped some months ago, and THAT was because I was curbstomped by the need to create THIS:

All hail Queen Ruffnut the Wordsmith of Norway, first of her line. May her reign be long and prosperous.

do you think i want to be here?

a big part of sylvie’s character that gets overlooked is shown in one particular line in s2 ep3 when she explains to loki why she has to kill victor: do you think i want to be here? do you think i’m gonna get any joy out of killing that man?

because that is what she has done, for centuries, is bring death. she’s run from one end of the world to the next, watching the connections she makes fall apart. what good would more killing bring to her? how would ending this trembling man before her repair any of the damage she has sustained? the minutemen she burned to get to he who remains were all variants, too, but she needed to do it. like she needed to kill hwr, like she needed to kill victor. what pleasure would more death give her at this point, after it has so thoroughly stained her it’s almost baptismal? what she wants is the softness of the ordinary, a uniform, a job- but her moral compass requires her to be a blade, and so she will. there is no joy in the ending of lives, especially in the name of freeing the destinies of the multiverse. she feels no love for death despite it raising her. her whole life has been more a means to an end more than that of an individual experiencing the universe. so if that means she must once again plunge her sword into a chest, she feels that she has been summoned once again to do her duty, and she must. even while she trembles at the thought, paces back and forth, and cries at what she knows she must do.

except, this time, she can’t.

“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels-“ thats funny bc today i ate until i was full for the first time in weeks and its honestly the best feeling ever