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jewishvitya · 5 months

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A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.

So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.

Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.

When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.

One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"

He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."

And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.

I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.

So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.

Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.

But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?

All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.

I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.

This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.

In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.

One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.

Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.

Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."

In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.

On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.

In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.

#riki babbles #I had this in my drafts for ages and I was like 'not the time' but a friend encouraged me to share so here it is #palestine

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phantom-does-a-thing · 11 months

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me when I wear an article of clothing for years to the point of its unravel but because I've had it for years they aren't made anymore so I can't replace them o(-(

#ive had my shoes for... like I honestly wanna say 3 maybe 4 years #they are literally falling apart at the seams I am not joking #the soles have had to be superglued twice #theres a MASSIVE hold in the side of the fabric #and they're so special to me. It's a specific special pattern #it looked like almost a galaxy pattern #and I'll never be able to find them again!#ive looked in so many stores for more converse but theyre all boring solid color #or they're platform high top and I dont want those #I just want normal converse with a silly pattern #and I can't find those specific ones anymore #and it makes me really upset to think I will have to get new shoes :(((#rambling #phever dreams with phantom

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leletha-jann · 3 months

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Headcanon on reasonable evidence, actually: Every Heterodyne gets their own specific pack of Jägermonster guards.

Yes, the Jägermonsters are all sworn to the family in general, but Heterodynes do unreasonable and dangerous things on absolutely no notice, and it's helpful to have a specific set of personal guards who know them as individuals well enough to respond immediately. (Of course, Jägers think this sounds like fun.)

Agatha having Dimo, Maxim, and Oggie on more or less permanent assignment to her isn't unusual; it's normal. They know this, and have encouraged her to fall into a pattern they were expecting, actually, and she didn't take any steering at all. On some instinctive level she was expecting it too. Even if Dimo keeps his promotion to General, he'll be a General on the move, from wherever Agatha happens to be. They'll be with her for the rest of her life.

Consorts get their own squads, too. At some point in the future, Gil and Tarvek both acquire a handful of their own personal Jägers, sottle-like. (They notice it happen anyway.)

Jorgi is absolutely one of Tarvek's squad, because there's no way he wasn't designed to be Tarvek's personal guard Jäger, and it will be hilarious.

I'd also love to see Agatha assign Jenka to him, because Tarvek's recently on record as missing his personal spy network, and he and Jenka would have that up and running in no time flat. They'd have fun. (Jenka doesn't hold "being Andronicus Valois' descendent" against him, because Tarvek's loyalties are firmly with Agatha, and they share a "to hell with that family in particular" attitude.) Also, it would be a neat little parallel with Tarvek giving Violetta to Agatha. Agatha could give him a sneaky lady who can kick his ass (and will if when needed) right back. For maximum humor, Füst should take to Tarvek exactly the same way the wasp eaters did.

(this, but with JAGER BEAR)

I don't know if Gil ends up with Vole as one of his pack, because I don't know where the Foglios are going with him. But I nominate this guy from book one:

And this guy from book 14:

to follow Gil around and be reassuring to him periodically.

Higgs has sort of ended up as immediate supervision of the entire triumvirate. Whichever of them is in reach, or all three of them at once. Insert Higgs looking really deadpan tired here. This face. Forever.

Jägers get EXTREMELY excited when they learn a new baby Heterodyne is on the way, and start campaigning to be on the baby's personal guard squad immediately. Of course, being Jägers, there's a lot of biting involved. I imagine months of Jägers challenging each other, not just to fights, because they did all that already, but to increasingly ridiculous and pointless challenges that they're both making up on the spot and obsessively keeping track of. The only real rule is that if you challenge someone to something, you have to do it too (otherwise how will you know who won?) They challenge each other one on one, or everyone in sight. This leads to things like most of the Jägerhorde running a screaming, pushing, biting, brawling egg-and-spoon race down the longest street in Mechanicsburg. The townsfolk line up to watch and cheer. (They're considered a course hazard, so they get to throw things.) Whoever's currently winning (don't ask me how that points math works) when the baby is born gets assigned to the baby.

Bill and Barry both had their own Jäger squads and never knew it, because their guards weren't allowed anywhere near them. Theodora was pretty much out there with a shotgun if she heard even the hint of a Jägermonster accent. Those Jägers still resent it. They feel robbed of their (most recent) chance to be trusted favorites. They might get special-pleading rights in the next tournament-to-guard-the-new-baby, assuming their brothers aren't completely fed up with their whining about it by now.

Klaus Barry had his own guards, but Bill didn't know because the Jägers were barely even allowed in the Castle by that point, so they just didn't tell him. Master of Mechanicsburg or not, the Jägers didn't trust him not to send them away even further (and rightly so).

Nobody volunteered to guard Lucrezia. Bill didn't understand the insult in that, and the townspeople didn't tell him. But every single one of them NOTICED. Ho yez.

There are only so many Jägermonsters, so by this point everyone who's still alive has been in a personal guard squad at least once. Collectively, the Jägermonsters know all the gossip, going back centuries. They'll never tell. If pressed, they suddenly lose the ability to remember last week, much less 1528. They can't be bribed, not even with alcohol, although they encourage people to try.

Canon: Jenka was in Euphrosnia's personal guard.

Seen elsewhere on Tumblr but I forgot to reblog it: Vole was one of Saturnus' pack, which is why he tried to kill Bill and Barry. Saturnus had tried, after all, and Vole was most loyal to Saturnus in particular. (If this was your theory, let me know! Credit to you.)

TL;DR: Jägers running an egg-and-spoon race through Mechanicsburg. There. Now you have the highlight of this post.

Also: ä is alt-132 (using the keypad). NOW YOU KNOW. (hopefully I also now know, because this is like the fifth time I've tried to memorize that)

#girl genius #worldbuilding #headcanon #jagermonsters #long post #but with pictures #heterodynes

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hotdogdynamitezzz · 1 year

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Your Fashion and Style Guide

Pt.1

Part 2 (Libra - Pisces) Here

Use your Rising & Venus sign!

Aries:

Prioritizes comfort but doesn't compromise for their fashion style

Absolutely rocks streetwear & athleisure

Prefers sporty fits the most!

Looks best in red & black clothing

Their style always has some sort of edge to it

Big on grunge and vintage rockband t shirts

They love combat boots and they generally prefer flame or camo print clothes

This sounds odd but they kinda remind me of a racecar aesthetic?

Very Sharp with their fashion choices

They look great in leather jackets

A bold colour paired with a neutral for a high contrast look suit them best

They love the rockstar or baddie aesthetic

Looks ~

Taurus:

They have three modes, classy bitches, edgy e-girls & bohemian botanical.

But generally, I see classy and soft the most

Green, Brown, Beige, White, Black, Pink & Red for sensuality.

They love wearing neutrals but they often mix it up with some colour now and again

They usually have some sort of special necklace

A fan of pearls because it's classic

But diamonds are their best friends too ofc

Fuzzy & Fluffy cardigans or sweaters have their heart, especially the white and brown colours

They are into floral and flannel patterns

Their favorite colour options are brown & pink or white & pink 🕊💕

They usually dress more modest but make it look high fashion

They usually like to incorporate silk or a corset into their outfit, being ruled by venus makes them into a sensual and seductive look

Generally they favour comfortable fabrics and silk

Looks ~

Gemini:

I noticed they don't really like dark colours and generally prefer brighter neutrals or colours

They like off-the-shoulder, cold shoulder, cutout tops & cool designs on their shirts whether its long sleeve or not

They choose tops based on the arm style such as balloon sleeves or cutouts

Asymmetrical styles suit them best

Colors are white, bright pinks, and green.

Earrings & Bracelets are their favorite accessories

They like a fairy aesthetic, something that feels whimsical

Likes to switch between feminine and masculine clothing frequently

Very experimental with their clothes

Looks ~

Cancer:

Either soft and girly or moody and dark!

They prefer to keep it modest unless showing off their chest

Their choice of jewelry are pearl necklaces

The shoes they tend to favour are chunky block heels & sandals

Prefers blue, pink & white or black

Soft and flowy clothes like cardigans or kimonos

Knee high socks + sweater dresses look great

They love sweetheart necklines

Into crop tops! Usually silk crops

They like to pair tight clothes with a flowy jacket! Especially if it has a pop of colour

Overall style changes depending on how they're feeling that day

Looks ~

Leo:

Everytime I looked up a Leo rising celebrity that were ALWAYS wearing sunglasses

A fan of sunhats too!

Anything bright & metallic suit them perfectly

They look lavish in silky and shiny materials

They tend to wear fur coats

They like long and sturdy coats in general!

Usually they own big statement jewelry

Everything looks shiny tbh especially their hair.

Sparkly clothes & sequins are their weakness

They could rock sundresses

They look great in animal print, specifically cheetah or leopard.

Bold fashion is their go-to

Even if they wear neutral colours they make sure the texture stands out

Jumpsuits were really popular among them! I think they like to look playful but glamorous at the same time

They will not leave the house unless they look ready for a fashion show lol

Their motive is to standout and turn heads.

Looks ~

Virgo:

Less is more for them

They like simple t-shirts with cute mottos like "be kind" or some shit that HAS to be written in small font or they won't wear it LOL

A Preppy Style & Sweater Vests are their thing

So is gingham print

They rock high-fashion looks

Fake glasses are a cute trend they look good in

A big fan of trench coats and cardigans

They prefer a business casual look

They prefer earthy tones & greens.

They are all about the simplicity in versatility! For instance they usually like black jeans and a white top but the top can be a tube top or a halter top based on what they want that day

They LOVE BLAZERS

Very picky about fashion, I find super bright colors often turn them away

Quality > Quantity for them

A lot of them look great in crop tops, or waist accentuating clothing like kim k is known for

Watches are usually a staple item they prefer

Looks ~

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lowkeyremi · 9 months

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mayaaaaa !! so your aot fluff just sent my soul back to my levi fanfic phase 😭😭 can you please please write more of levi with his younger lover ??? i need to know all about it !!! how do they cuddle? how did they get together? what’s he like in public with them????

love you lots <33

OFC!! This is such a cute concept i'm excited to write this >:3 AND ILY TOO <333

It's not required but if you haven't read the first part you might wanna do that :)

CW: None, just fluff

First encounter:

The two of you met when he was on a business trip. You and your friends were shopping for new clothes and he was at the store for a new tie, because according to his boss, "you wear that same tie all the time, Ackerman. This meeting is really important so try to look nice."

When you saw him it was game over. Funny thing is you didn't even try to hide it either, your eyes widened, your jaw was on the floor, and everything.

"That guy is so hot! You should talk to him." Your friend squeals.

"No way in hell, he's probably married! That'd be so weird." You argue in return. Your friend didn't give up though.

"Excuse me, sir! If you're looking for a tie my friend can help you look for one! She used to work in retail." Her voice is sweet when talking to him. If that super hot guy hadn't been right there you would have smacked her.

He didn't say anything at first, he looked you up and down. "He's checking you out!" She whisper-yelled. You elbowed her in the rib.

"I have a suit that looks like- you know what let me just look for a picture." He says, and what the hell... his voice is like silk.

You walk over to him. "Here it is." The suit is a dark gray, with a white undershirt. Your eyes scan his phone, it's an older outdated model and you can't help but giggle.

"Is gray a bad color for me?" He asks, with sarcasm.

"No no! It's just.. what model is your phone? It looks old." His brows furrow as he inspects his phone.

"I don't know, I got it a long time ago." He says with a shrug, "It works just fine."

"Sorry sorry. What kind of tie do you have right now? If you have one." You say trying to be inclusive.

"The one I usually wear is black but this is a special occasion so I need something else." You hum lightly while looking around.

"Okay, I'm thinking blue. Specifically dark blue." He nods and you two look around for a dark blue tie without patterns because he's basic.

Out of the corner of your eye your friends are making smooching faces and other romantic gestures. You're going to end them later.

"I found one thanks for the help." He says.

"Of course!" Fuck, too happy?

He stares at you for a moment, and you stare back before looking away. You take a step back and clear your throat.

"C-can.. I get your number?" Your foot is tapping and you're looking everywhere except for at him.

"Yeah, sorry if my calls don't go through because of my crappy phone." He says with a small.. smile?

You stare for a second in silence.

"That was my attempt at making a joke, it was bad." He says with a sigh.

"Yeah... we're gonna need to work on that. What's your name Mr. Gloomy?" You hand over your phone, you have the dial screen open so he can put in his number.

"Levi Ackerman." That small smile returns.

"I'll see you around, Levi."

In public:

Turns out you were actually the one who wasn't big on telling people about you at first. Levi is proud of everything he does. In all honesty you were slightly embarrassed by having an older boyfriend.

"What if people think you're my sugar daddy or something?" You reason.

"I'm not that old." He rolls his eyes.

"Why does it matter what other people think of our relationship anyway? They're not dating you, I am." He explains. He makes it sound like common sense, which it is, but you still think it's a little awkward.

"I mean it doesn't matter too much but-"

"I respect your decision. I'm not huge on PDA but I'd at least like people close to me to know." He explains rubbing his hand up and down your thigh. You grab his hand (which happens to be very veiny and pretty) and kiss it.

"Thanks, Levi."

-----

When you did tell everyone... you were all over him. Levi was never big on PDA but he didn't mind giving you a little kiss or holding your hand.

The only time he's really touching you in public is one someone's hitting on you. Levi gets scared that you'll find someone younger than him.

-----

"Did you want to go out sometime?" Your new co-worker asks you. He doesn't know you have a boyfriend but you've been rejecting him all week.

You check your phone to see that Levi's just arrived. Your shift ended early today and he promised to come get you and take you out.

"Um no than-"

"Are you ready to go, baby?" Levi's voice is confident and smug. The guy looks over to Levi and then to you. His face flushes and he starts to stammer.

"U-uh sorry. I... I didn't know." Levi exhales as the guy walks away in a hurry.

"You should call me that more often." You chime in with a cheeky smirk.

"I do." He offers you his hand. When you take it, he leads the way to his black cadillac.

"I mean yeah! But not outside of the house."

"I'm working on it... baby."

Meeting the parents:

To your surprise they were very accepting of Levi.

"They've always been very childish. I'm so glad they found someone to keep them in shape." Your mother was embarrassing as always.

"Take care of them." Your father had said.

Levi nodded and they stood there awkwardly.

"Um dad! Levi works for a law firm! Isn't that something? You've always wanted me to get into law school, remember?" Your attempt to change the subject worked.

"I did, but you never wanted to. Always said "Dad! I don't wanna sit at a desk all day!" What law firm do you work for Levi?" It must be a parent's job to embarrass their child.

"Oh I work for..."

That convo went on forever.

-------

"Hello, Mrs. and Mr. Ackerman." Levi nodded, which motivated you to place down the bouquet of Mrs. Ackerman's favorite flowers on her gravestone.

"You guys seemed like great people from what Levi told me. I'm taking care of him, he's not a lonely loser anymore." Tears are welling up but nothing comes out, you smile softly.

"I was never a loser." His eye roll doesn't go unnoticed by you.

"If that's what makes you feel better, then okay. Anyway, I wish I could have had the chance to meet you guys. Mrs. Ackerman I can see why your husband married you. You were fine as hell. That must be where Levi gets it from." You rant with a little giggle.

"I look more like my father." He reminds you.

"Yeah yeah, this isn't about you. I'm trying to meet your parents." You wave him away and continue to talk to the Ackermans.

"I think they would have liked you, a little weirded out by you at first but in the end they would have loved you like you were their own." Two arms wrap around you and then those tears fall. Out of all your relationships none have ever made you feel this loved and wanted.

Chilling:

"Boop!" Levi almost bites your finger this time.

"Stop "booping" me. It's annoying." He's facing you while in bed, those dark, onyx eyes look into yours. God he's so beautiful.

"I'm bored, let's get up." That's probably the tenth time you've said that to him.

"We agreed on fifteen more minutes of cuddling." Levi is a cuddler. In previous relationships you've complained about not being cuddled enough.

Levi is all about physical affection inside of the household. You love it, but at times like right now, you just crave to move around.

He's peppering your face with kisses, your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks, everywhere. The cherry on top is that he smiles when he hears you chuckle at his actions.

"Okay now we can get up, since you're so impatient." Those snuggly arms let go of your body so you can go get ready for the day.

"I love you Levi!" He hesitates upon hearing you say that before responding, "I love you too."

In conclusion Levi is literally like a dad who has to keep one of those little kid backpack leash things on his kid (you) lol he loves you tho <3

#aot #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi fluff #levi x reader #levi aot #levi ackerman #aot levi #levi x you #ackerman

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gabessquishytum · 2 months

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I read that fabulous centennial husbands big bang story about Hob marking the years between his meetings with his stranger by tying knots in a piece of string and it gave me a though -- instead of knots in string Hob cuts hash marks into his skin to count the years btw meeting with his stranger. Scarification to mark the time until he gets to see his stranger again.

Yes, Hob is fantasticly immortal and wounds don't stay, but Hob has found if he makes the mark or intends for the mark to stay, then it does. So he starts marking himself to count his hundred years:

1489 - left arm;

1589 - right arm;

1689 - left foot to knee;

1789 - right foot to knee;

1889 - left knee to upper thigh/groin;

1989 - right knee to upper thigh/groin; and

2089 - starting up his left side (groin to armpit)

His marks are the only thing he's sure will stay. He's developed a ritual for it - he cuts with special knife specifically for that purpose; and as he travels the world he's found that if he gets his scars tattooed in the old school way - with sharp rock and ink, that stays too.

So that when Dream and Hob finally get together, Hob's body is a sensory feast for Dream - the braille of Hob's devotion.

Trigger Warning for the act of cutting the body - could be potentially triggering for self harm survivors.

So I'm going to freely admit that I know absolutely nothing about scarification, and I'm one of those annoying people who can genuinely pass out at the mere mention of blood or injuries. BUT I am fascinated by body modification and the impact it would have on an immortal body. So let's give this a go!

At first, the marks are not very pretty to look at. Hob doesn't know what he's doing. There's no real pattern or consistency to the marks. But as the decades, then the centuries pass, Hob becomes a proper artist. He makes intricate designs on his skin. Each mark becomes part of a bigger picture, which is growing across his body with every passing year. There are flowers and leaves, stars and shapes and waves. He generally covers up the art on his body - he has, after all, made himself extremely unique and identifiable. But despite the risk, he sometimes sits in the sun with his body on display. It's like a message to his stranger, wherever he is. That Hob is still patiently waiting.

And after more than a hundred years with no stimulus at all, when he finally comes back, Dream is obsessed with the texture of Hob’s body. He touches it constantly when they're together, like a reassurance that the world is no longer cold, smooth glass. It's warm flesh, indented with promises. It's proof that somebody thought of him and forgave him. It's love, really. Love that Hob is proud to wear on his skin for every day of his very, very long life.

He can't wait for Dream to be beside him, when they make the next mark together.

#please note trigger warning #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw s/h #cw injury #cw gore #cw scarification

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woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh · 8 months

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Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay

(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)

Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!

It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe

Table of contents:

Why she was ostracized

How she was ostracized

How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake

How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.

1. Why she was ostracized

I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.

She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!

(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!" J: "Uh, yeah, I-" C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")

(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-" C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.") (girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)

She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude

("Uh, you seem really nervous...") ("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!") ("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine") (also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)

I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol

2. How she was ostracized

All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)

But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.

3. Applying this to her canon relationships

You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!

Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.

Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!

First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).

And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!

IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T

4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals

I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).

Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!

That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*

Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.

Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos

#theres gender theres autism theres stagedorks what more could you want #bmc #be more chill #christine bmc #christine canigula #jeremy heere #stagedorks #bmc meta #my posts #meta #essay #my meta #jeremy #christine #character analysis #guys academia ruined me actually #this literally genuinely hits the full word count requirement for a midterm paper i was supposed to start writing today #but instead i did this

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grandadofrad · 3 months

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RESOURCES FOR ARTISTS VOL 1

In the spirit of gratitude for the plethora of free resources out there for artists that I've been gleefully ransacking my entire life, I want to share some of them that I've compiled.

smithsonian open access: this is a HUGE one! lots of images that are absolutely free to use, as well as an incredible set of 3-D resources. Their collection spans the same breadth that their multiple museums do-- natural history, gems, fine art, aerospace/engineering stuff, etc. so do not sleep on this.

(screenshot is the 3-D digitization page, one of my fav sections)

2. The League of Moveable Type is a resource for free fonts, but not just any free fonts-- professionally designed free fonts. Some of the bigger sites can be a lot of wading through sub par stuff, but every single thing here was very carefully and lovingly designed, and is free.

3. Unsplash is full of great free to use images. Seriously, huge collection. Portraits, textures, 3-D renderings, you name it and it's probably here and free to use. ALSO cool because images will note whether their creator is for hire if you like their work. You can also submit your images to this platform. (I think it has a premium section but I haven't needed to engage with it yet)

(screenshot of unsplash.com with a search for 'y2k render')

4. rawpixel's Public Domain collection. They've been high quality scanning public domain images for a while. They're free to use under a CC0 license, which is basically without restriction. They've got lots of categories, I personally love the Graphic Design and the Vintage Illustration sections.

(screenshot of the 'patterns' section of the Public Domain collection on rawpixel)

5. Photopea is a free Photoshop alternative that runs in your browser. It's got a few quirks(especially if you run a non-chromium browser, but stay strong anyway) and is ad-supported, but really powerful and robust. It also opens PSD files, supports smart objects and basically all of the Photoshop asset filetypes(.abr .grad .pat etc), as well as has filters, even a couple that Photoshop itself has gotten rid of in their more recent versions. You can use the fonts on your machine, export transparent pngs, and do generally anything that the big guy does. You can also donate a small amount to remove ads and support the singe person(!) who created and maintains it.

(screenshot of a .psd file with smart objects/smart filters open on photopea. The 'file' dropdown menu shows exciting options such as 'export' and 'save as psd')

6. Brusheezy.com is a great place to get free brushes, vectors, and photoshop assets in general(which can all be used in Photopea, btw).

(screenshot of the 'categories' page of brusheezy.com)

7. dafont.com Last but not least, I will include this huge font site but assume most people already have it on their radar. Free fonts! No account needed to download! Tons of categories! Many are demo/limited versions, so pay attention especially if you plan to use numbers or special characters as those are often the things left out of the free to use demo versions. It's nice to have a lot of options but to the discerning eye a decent amount of the fully free fonts here will fall a bit short/feel unpolished. That's not to discourage you from it, as I have a huge collection of types from here and routinely check it when I need something specific.

(screenshot of dafonts.com with the 'sci-fi' section pulled up)

So that's what I've got right now for visual art resources, I hope you can find something useful in here. Feel free to share this list and keep an eye out for the next one! Thanks to everyone out their with a love for sharing in their hearts, it's really inspired me to make some things with no other intention than to put them into the world as tools for others!

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delightfulcollectivetyphoon · 2 months

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WOOP WOOP guess whos baaaaaaack. anyways yeah. ik i promised knifeplay but I SWEAR ON PAPA HET it will be in the next part. only after reading did i realize how bad i am at writing p in v smut. please reply and reblog if you like my fic ! <3

warnings: extreme dubcon (like seriously im blurring the line between dub and non but like its all 100% consensual they're just roleplaying), p in v, hair pulling, squirting, dacryphilia, post-kink-action consent (again roleplaying a dubcon situation), pet names, i need to have his children *cough cough* i didn't say anything, james refers to reader as "my perfect little girl" not in a ped0ph1l1c way but like in size ykwim, morning-aftercare, soft!james (aaaaaa), fluff, he bathes her, food

dear fucking god this started to get really (really) dark but i stopped myself but lmk if u guys want dark stuff!<3

"Won't everyone else hear us?" you asked nervously.

"Ah no, they're all gettin' shitfaced at some bar probably."

You grinned at his remark and let him lead you to his room.

The walls were black wood panels running vertically. The paint was rubbed away at a few spots, and the furniture was just the same. A king-size bed lay in the middle, with the headboard touching the wall and the footboard jutting out just shy of the center of the room. There were two identical small dressers directly across from the bed, and a red easel mirror separating them. You let out a small gasp as you took in your surroundings. It truly was a gorgeous room, and you felt as if you desperately needed to live here. As you were distracted, James took the time to observe you, grinning at your child-like wonder. He too had been amazed at how beautiful it had been. He knew that he needed someone to share it with. One thing you noticed was that the headboard was made oddly; instead of one flat board of wood, it had been carved at the top into an ornate pattern, and the middle of it had a checkered cutout. You instantly knew that it wasn't just a headboard, it was specifically to be tied to. You swallowed hard, thinking about being tied up, unable to escape, forced to succumb to him, to let him have you in every way possible. He noticed your special interest in the bedframe and told you so.

"Yeah, I like it too. Its gotta be my favorite thing in the whole house," he spoke. He chuckled, then walked up to your back. He leaned down to whisper, "well, not my favorite thing." You sighed at being called his favorite thing. The thought that you could just be his toy drove you insane, whimpering for more. If he noticed your turmoil, he didn't show it. Instead, he backed away from you and fiddled with his pocketknife through the denim. He knew exactly what to do with it, he just had to do it. That was gonna be the tricky part. Once your mind left the room and focused back on James, you remembered what you were here for. For him. For the pleasure he would send shooting down every nerve in your body. You blushed at the thought of you cumming around him, screaming his name, growing more and more overstimulated as he chases his own high, not caring that you had reached yours first. You turned to face him, your heart nearly beating out of your ribcage.

"I'm ready."

He strode towards you, a smug look on his face.

"Tell me, what are you ready for?"

"...I...want you to fuck me. I was nervous before, in the woods, because I didn't know what this would be like, but I know I'll like it." You grinned as you leaned forward, standing on your toes to reach his lips. At first, he resisted, just to see how desperate you were. But one swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip convinced him. He grabbed the backs of your thighs, and you understood, allowing yourself to be hefted into his arms. You hooked your ankles together behind his back, you dug them in as you felt his cock, straining against the fabric. You loved the feeling of the rough material on your soft clit, but you remembered his rule. He pulled away. "I've been waiting for that. Waiting for you. Waiting, watching, I can never tell the difference." He dove down to your neck, licking at the bruises. He started towards the bed, gently laying you on the soft blanket. He began grinding himself against your thigh, thrusting wildly. After all, you had denied him earlier. However, he wasn't going to let himself go just yet. He detached himself from your throat as he pulled his cock back out of his jeans, still throbbing and angry from its ruined release. He moaned as he felt his hand tug his length, he needed to cum, and he needed it now.

"On your hands and knees, pretty girl."

You complied as you could feel the throbbing start between your legs again. Soon, you had your nose pressed into his bush again, and you were choking around him. He didn't offer words of encouragement this time. He wasn't going to wait any longer. He had an iron grip on your hair as he fucked your mouth. He was a grunting, sweaty mess by the time you could fell his head pulsing at the back of your throat. You tried to pull away again, to tease him again, but he was smarter this time, not letting you go. He continued until you could feel the hot, salty cum dripping down your throat, filling up your mouth. He came with a moan, the sound imprinting itself into your very soul, echoing in your ears. Once he had caught his breath, he tilted your head up, still holding your hair, and told you to open your mouth.

"Swallow."

You obeyed. You opened again to show him, and he grinned.

"Such a good slut for me, my little girl," he cooed as he stroked your sore scalp.

"Since you've been fairly good, you want me to fill up that tight little cunt? You want me to make you scream my name, cum all over me like the little whore you are?"

You moaned at his words and nodded, eyes clouded with lust. You were drunk. You hadn't touched a bottle since the concert, but you were drunk. On him, on the way he so lovingly degraded you, how you knew he would take care of you in the best ways, how he would love you in the worst.

"I want to be yours."

There it was. The look you had seen onstage, the wolf's glare as he stalks his prey. Those 5 words had transported him somewhere else. They made him someone else. Mine. The word rang through his head as he took you in. On your knees, hands folded in your lap, a lustful look on your face. You were almost made to be dominated. He decided he would make you obey. You would obey his every command. He would get what he wanted, no matter the cost. You were his. His little fucktoy. He grabbed your cheeks in one hand, earning a strangled gasp from you.

"You're gonna regret saying that sweetheart," he sneered as he pushed you on your back. You couldn't see him as you heard his clothing hit the floor, but you knew he would have the hottest body. He leaned forward, chain swinging from his neck just less than a foot above you. He positioned himself between your legs, and you instinctively wrapped them around him. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him as he inserted himself, but he wanted to be inside you as soon as possible. He needed to feel you practically split in two from his girth. He needed to see tears running down your cheek as you tried to distinguish pain from pleasure. His wish was granted as he locked hands with you, and slowly pushed himself inside. He watched as you tried to escape the stretch, the excruciating pain.

"Shhhh, I know, I know. It's gonna be okay," he said in a calming voice as you groaned through your teeth. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and wiped a stray tear from your cheek. It was a few minutes before he bottomed out, but it felt like an hour. Every couple of inches or so, he would stop and let you adjust. It took all of his will to not slam right into you and rail you straight in oblivion. He knew damn well if he did, you wouldn't be able to walk properly for at least a couple weeks, and that wasn't even his ego talking. He continued to caress your cheek as he stared at your entrance, how nicely he stretched you. As soon as he could feel your wetness against his pelvis, he slowly pulled out, assuring you through the pain. He repeated his process several times, before you finally spoke up.

"Fuck me, please, faster" you half-whispered. More tears had accumulated at the corners of your eyes, spilling over the edge and collecting in your hair.

"It's gonna hurt for a few minutes, but I promise I'm gonna make you feel so fucking good. I promise." He slowly picked up his pace, careful to move in as straight a line as possible. He still held your hands in his own. He squeezed tighter as he pushed in, and slowly released as he came back out. You tried to remain as quiet as possible, but it was no use. The only sounds in the room were your moans, his pants, and your pelvis colliding with his. He would lean down and kiss you every once in a while, and could feel his tummy colliding with yours, which almost made you cum on the spot. You found pleasure in the way his bush brushed against your clit upon bottoming out. Your vision was foggy, your legs were almost numb. He was right. You were in pure fucking euphoria, and you hadn't even cum yet. You watched him watch himself drill into your hole. His eyes only left when you freed yourself of his grip and reached your hands around his neck, bringing him in, close enough so you could whisper.

"aa...aaaaa.... Jamie....fuck.... feel so fucking good......aaaaaaaa"

He threw his head back, reveling in the accelerated pleasure. Your whimpers and moans, badly masked, pushed him way closer to the edge than they should've. You could feel the coil tightening, looking at the sweat running down his forehead, arms locked and flexed, the only thing keeping him upright. The way his chain bounced against his chest, even shinier with sweat. You came right then and there, squirting all over his abdomen and thighs. You nearly passed out. Your mouth opened in a silent scream as you convulsed, the hot liquid taking him by surprise.

"Ah fuck yeah.... just like that....thats my good girl.....fuck"

He began to rub at your clit, sending you into overdrive, making you clench as hard as possible. You screamed as he came, coating your walls. He only fucked you faster. He held onto your waist, bruising the skin, His moans were the only thing keeping you conscious.

"Fuck, thats my good fucking girl.........so fucking perfect...... fuck baby.."

He craned his neck, trying to focus on anything, anything other than your fucked-out features. He knew that the second he laid eyes on you, he would cum again. He pulled out just in time, groaning at the loss of stimulation. Your eyes were glazed over as you reached for him, pulling him into a bear hug. You cried into his shoulder as your walls fluttered around the mix of your cum. You could feel it leaking out as he pulled you upright, pressing kisses all over your face, licking the stray tears away. He stroked your back as you both caught your breath, recovering from your brain-melting orgasms.

"You were so good for me. So perfect. My perfect little girl."

You basked in his praise, still unable to fully form words, let alone sentences. You smiled up at him as he stroked your hair.

"Well, I don't know about you, but a bath sounds pretty damn good right about now." You nodded at him as he looked to you for an answer. He smiled softly and stood, walking to the bathroom across the hall. As soon as you heard water running, you fell asleep. You weren't sure how long you had slept, but the sun was shining through the window when you awoke. You tried to sit up, but your core throbbed. As soon as the pain washed over you, you remembered what had happened the night before. Ohmigod. After finding a massive t-shirt, you limped out of the bedroom. You didn't know where the kitchen was, but after exploring, you had finally found it. James was sitting down, eating a bowl of cereal and some eggs. He smiled as you entered the room. You offered him a grin as you slowly sat next to him, holding in a groan as you hit the chair. He put an arm around you, which you gladly accepted, and snuggled into his chest, almost falling asleep again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Feels like you're still in me," you grumbled. You winced as the words left your mouth. You had screamed yourself hoarse last night. His hand ran up and down your arm, trying to ease at least some pain. He chuckled at the remark.

"Well, was it worth it?"

You looked up, unsure of his question.

"What do you mean?"

"Whatever you think it means. Regrets?"

"None," you whispered as you kissed his cheek. A few minutes passed, which you filled with sharing his cereal.

"Oh, uh by the way, I ran a bath last night because I wasn't sure if you had any more energy left for it, but the offer still stands."

"Ugh, fine," you teased as you made your way to the bathroom. You were just reaching for the faucet, when you heard footsteps behind you. James pulled you back by the waist, placing you by the door.

"Nuh uh. I'm doing this. You just work on brushing your hair. I'll wash it, and your body too, if you want. You need to rest."

Your heart almost shattered at how caring he was. You couldn't stop grinning as you ran his brush through your hair. When you were done, you took off the shirt and slowly climbed in. The water was hot enough that you immediately went limp and groaned. God, this was amazing. It soothed your skin, made all the pain drift away like smoke in the wind.

"I don't think I've seen anyone enjoy a bath as much as you," he taunted. You opened your eyes to find him on his knees in front of the tub, hands resting on his thighs.

"Shut up, Hetfield," you smiled.

He held up his hands in defense, laughing. After what only felt like a few minutes of idle chit-chat, he began to pump shampoo into his hands, working up a lather. You pulled the shower curtain back farther and lifted your head off the edge of the tub, to give him better access. As soon as his hands began massaging your scalp, you felt a wave of contentment settle over you. You shifted so that your back was to him. He grabbed a towel off the shelf and put it against the side of the tub so you could lean your head back. He didn't care that he was getting soapy water all over his pants, he was just happy that you were happy. He continued massaging your head in silence. He could've sworn you fell asleep more than once, just while he was shampooing. He guided your head up, grabbed the sprayer, and, while holding a washcloth over your eyes, so as to not get any soap in them, rinsed your hair. He moved on to conditioner, brushing through your hair as he did so. He left the conditioner to settle as he lightly ran a loofa over your body, being extra careful around your labia and vulva. He could still see his handprints on your ass, and tracing them, asked, "do these still hurt?"

"They're just a little sore, but you can wash them."

He slowly ran the loofa across your ass, slightly proud that they were still there. He kept that to himself and carried on. Once you had been rinsed off, he helped you out of the tub and dried you off. He guided you to the bedroom, where he pulled a bag from under the bed.

"This morning, I drove down to a Walmart a few miles out and got you some stuff."

He pulled out a fresh pair of panties, and some pajamas.

"I figured we could just have a day in, if you have nothing else to do."

Your heart felt like it was going to erupt at any second. You teared up as you approached him. He could see your emotion and reached out his arms. He embraced you, running a hand through your hair, as you cried into his shoulder. You hadn't had this type of treatment from past lovers, and you never expected him to do all this for you. Especially when you thought this was just a one-night stand.

"What is it?"

"No one's ever done this for me. You're the first. The bath, the clothes. You're just so sweet, even to a one-night stand."

He looked confused as you spoke the last three words.

"Do you want this to be a one-night stand? 'Cause I don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Pff, why would I not be?"

You simply buried your face back in his chest. You stood like that for a few minutes, glad to have this time with him.

You eventually pulled away, unpackaging your clothes. You slid on the underwear and pajamas. He led you to the living room and sat you on the sofa. He went back to the kitchen, grabbing the snack foods he had gotten from Walmart. He came back out with a couple of boxes of cereal, some milk, some candy, and a massive tub of Moose Tracks ice cream. You snatched the ice cream and a spoon as soon as he set them down. He grabbed the second spoon, and you both worked on the tub as you watched trashy reality TV. God, this man was perfect.

#WHEW #james hetfield #papa het #i need this man in ways that would get me on a watchlist #ANYWAYS #james hetfield smut #papa het smut

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wasyago · 9 months

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Love your art! I was super inspired by your Gillion design specially. He's so squishable (positive).

Do you have a specific process for designing characters? Be it original or reimagining canon designs of fandom

thank you!! :D

hmm, well, i don't remember the last time i properly designed an original character, so nothing on that front. for reimagining designs... i don't have a step by step way i do it, it varies from character to character, but i can point out some of the things i do that might be helpful?

i largely base my designs on the vibes the character gives me: their manner of speech, their actions, their story and personality. and also the world and environment around them if it affects the character. it sounds pretty obvious but like, duh.

im gonna try and explain on gillion's example since its the one you mentioned. he's a himbo, a swimmer and a paladin, so he's gonna be buff or at least a little thicker. he's a triton, so he's short. he's also short for the reason that he is in an unfamiliar for him world and he might feel small in it. he's also short because it makes him look almost child like, connecting it to his trauma and lack of childhood that manifests in his behavior now. gillion is kind or at least trying to be, so his features will be softer and rounder. but sometimes he's chaotic or harsh, so he has some sharp features too. though they're secondary, the softness is still the main focus.

i also really like to think and overthink the designs while drawing. i try to keep everything simpler and less detailed, showing personality with shapes rather than uhh presence(?), but that means that details i do include have a lot of thought behind them.

one of my favorite things is practically. i love to think about what a character would realistically wear in the climate they're in, which clothing would be comfortable for their anatomy and field of work. would certain things get in the way or would they be helpful? how would they style their hair, do they need it tied back or do they not care? would they wear make up, why yes or why not? etc etc etc. i like asking myself questions and answering them in the design.

continuing with the gillion example. he's constantly wet because he's a triton (again, yes), so it would be more comfortable for him to wear a wetsuit. other clothes may stick to him and be uncomfortable, or get stuck on his fins, etc. he doesn't have any piercings, there's no way he would've gotten them in the undersea, and on the surface i don't think there was anything meaningful enough to promt him to get it. plus fin ears. he doesn't have his hair styled in a complicated way because of the coral on his head. doesn't wear a lot of jewelry because he jumps in the water a lot and it'll easily get lost. no belts or flowy bits because they constrict the movement and might get in the way.

and then like. all the personal headcanons and preferences and little bits and things. there's a lot of elements that i draw just because i like how they look. or because that's a comfortable thing for me, or because it's cute or hot or sad or whatever. or because i saw it while looking for inspiration and i really liked it. just bullshitting with the design and making it my own, yknow?

for gillion. gave him a cool long tail and lots of fins everywhere because i like it when inhuman characters are openly and visibly inhuman and have distinct features. and gillion is VERY much not human, part of his personality is being confused about humans. big ol yellow eyes with slits — look cool, also doubles as an inhuman feature, also makes him look curious about the world. small black stripes all over his body — make him look more fishy, plus because there's a lot of them and they're all the same they form a pattern that looks more like a natural anatomical feature and draw less attention. coral that goes around his head and not only the front like a tiara— makes it feel more three dimensional and looks cool in perspective (also i kinda just drew it wrong and never fixed it). coral and fins are pink — adds some much needed color variation and contrast, plus pink is one of the more natural colors which again make him look animalistic and not magical, plus ties in with pretzel. his skin is closer to green than blue — removes blue from the color pallet (especially with his eyes being yellow instead of blue), making the design more coherent and pleasing, allows me to properly introduce reds and purples without it looking like a mess of colors (although it still does sometimes). sharp teeth — fish, cute. yellowish underbelly — supports the yellow for the eyes and makes it stand out less, plus again, animalistic feature. little to no details on the clothing — creates good negative space that lets the eyes rest and focus the attention on everything else. his fringe and hair are floating around and don't follow the laws of physics — personal headcanon that it always looks like he's under water, plus adds roundness to the design because of the waves and curls.

ookay haha sorry didn't mean to write down literally every design decision here-- kind of derailed the post again.

basically yeah, for me designing is like a dialog with myself where i ask and answer questions. also something that wasn't mentioned are references and inspiration. if i don't have a good idea when i start, i usually scroll through my gallery or pinterest for some time to get ideas and figure out the general direction i want to take the design, maybe also find some fun stuff to include, etc.

hopefully this long ramble was at least somewhat helpful or gave you insight on my progress. i wanted to draw some things to also visually explain the design decisions for gill, but i think I'll do it later and in a separate post, and maybe include chip and jay too...

umm good luck 👍👍

#yagotalk #how to yago

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ask-a-goldsmith · 2 months

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In writing my last few posts, I have realized that there is quite a lot of basic(to me) knowledge required to understand most of this stuff. I've done my best to explain as I go, but I think this deserves its own post. So, here we go!

Junior Gemology 101

This post is mostly about diamonds! I am well aware it's called Junior Gemology, but 90% of what I deal with on a day-to-day basis is diamonds. Also, a lot of this applies to coloured stones too, so no need to repeat myself.

What is a diamond, actually?

Diamonds are carbon! That's all there is! Except for inclusions. And coloured diamonds. Those have little bits of other materials in them. And are also a topic for later. I digress. Like always.

Specifically, diamonds are carbon atoms bonded together covalently in a tetrahedral shape. Confusing enough yet? This means that each carbon atom is bonded to 4 other carbon atoms. It's ok if you don't get it, I spent about 3 hours trying to understand diamond structure before things started to make sense. This website has a 3D model of the tetrahedral structure seen in diamonds and is what I used to finally wrap my head around it. The important part is: diamonds are made of carbon atoms connected in a pattern. If the pattern was different, It wouldn't be a diamond! If the carbon was bonded in hexagonal rings, it would be graphite! Same atoms, veeeerrrryyy different result.

What makes diamonds so darn special?

I've told you what a diamond is - so why do people care about this very specific pattern of carbon? The answer is(mostly) that humanity LOVES shiny things, and diamonds are great at being shiny. Why have diamonds become THE shiny thing to have? A combination of some REALLY successful marketing campaigns and some of diamond's unique characteristics. These characteristics include things such as their hardness, brilliance, and fire. I went deeper into these characteristics and what they mean in terms of telling diamonds from other stones in this post, but I'll give you a quick run-down here.

Diamonds are very(and famously) hard. They're a 10 on the Mohs scale, and almost nothing is harder than them. This doesn't mean diamonds are impervious to damage - while they are very hard, diamonds can also be brittle, and a hard smack in the wrong place can chip, crack, or even shatter a diamond. Trust me, I know. I've broken a few by accident.

Brilliance and fire are what give diamonds their characteristic bling. Though they are classified as different things - brilliance being the bright white reflections of light and fire being the rainbow reflections - they're both caused by diamond's Refractive Index. Refractive index(RI) is the measurement of the speed at which light travels through different materials - for our purposes though, think of it as how much a ray of light bends when it moves from one material to another. Diamonds have an RI of 2.42, which causes high brilliance and a medium amount of fire. RI isn't super important for most people to know - it really only comes into the conversation when comparing diamonds to simulant materials.

What are the 4 Cs?

The 4 Cs are the meat and potatoes of diamond basics - Carat weight, Colour, Clarity, and Cut. These four terms are used to describe diamonds worldwide, each describing a different part of a diamond's look.

Carat weight is the weight of a diamond. Pretty self-explanatory. What's not clear is what a carat actually is - no, not a carrot. A carat. A carat is 0.2 grams. Therefore, a 5 carat diamond(good lord) would weigh 1 gram. With me? Why do we weigh diamonds in carats instead of grams like sane people? Because way back yonder, carob seeds were used as a counterweight to weigh diamonds, and language did what language does.

Image from loosegrowndiamond.com

Colour refers to - you guessed it - the colour of the diamond. There are two basic systems that GIA(The Gemological Institute Of America, and the accepted authority of these things in North America) use; the normal colour range and the coloured or fancy diamond range. The normal colour range is used for stones that are colourless, light yellow, or light brown. These are the most common colours of diamond, thus the "normal" colour range. These stones are graded alphabetically D-Z, with D being colourless and Z being quite noticeably yellow or brown. Normal range colour grades are sorted into 5 groups based on the general amount of colour; colourless(DEF), nearly colourless(GHIJ), Faint(KLM), Very Light(N-R), and light(S-Z).

Image from GIA article 4Cs Color

Stones that fall outside this range (stones that are too yellow or brown for the scale or show any colour other than yellow and brown) are graded using the fancy colour grades. Fancy colour grades are an entire thing, but generally pretty self-explanatory. The grade will include 1 or two colours(the more dominant of which goes last) and an intensity descriptor such as light, intense, fancy deep, etc. For example, a stone may be graded as a fancy greyish blue - this means that the stone has a middling amount of colour and is blue with a hint of grey. Easy peasy.

Clarity is how many inclusions are in a stone. Well, technically it's more complicated than that, accounting for placement and contrast and type of inclusion etc etc etc. Really, clarity is how many inclusions you see in a stone. Inclusions are things in the diamond that are not diamond, such as included crystals, or imperfections in the diamond itself, such as cracks(called feathers) or chips.

Clarity grades are, frankly, confusing as fuck. There are 11 grades, broken down into 6 grade groups. From highest to lowest, they are; Flawless, Internally Flawless, Very Very Slightly Included(VVS), Very Slightly Included(VS), Slightly Included(SI), and Included(I). VVS, VS, and SI are each broken into 2 grades - 1 and 2. I is broken down into 3 grades - 1, 2, and 3. The lower the number within a grade, the better the grade - a VS1 stone would be less visibly included than a VS2. You know what'll help? Visuals!!

Images from GIA D&DG Chapter 11. Credit to John Koivula/GIA

The diamond on the left is graded as a VVS2 - the red arrow points to the inclusion that gave it this grade. The diamond on the right is graded as an I2. No red arrows are required - this stone has many highly visible inclusions. If you want a little more info (and examples) of clarity grades, GIA has a lovely little tool that explains it quite well.

Cut refers to the shape of a diamond - specifically, the combination of shape(face-up outline) and cutting style(the arrangement of the facets). A classic round brilliant is what most people think of when they think of a diamond, but there are dozens of different cuts. When talking about cut grade, cut refers to how well executed the cut is. Are the proportions ideal? Is everything symmetrical? Is the polish well done? These determine the cut grade of the stone. Cut grades are as follows, best to worst; Excellent, Very Good, Good, Fair, and Poor.

What are the parts of a cut diamond?

Specifically, the parts of a round brilliant diamond. Round brilliant is the name of the most common cut of diamond. Think of a diamond. Is it round? That's almost definitely a round brilliant. Think I've said round brilliant enough? Round brilliant. Whew. Done with that now. This is best explained with diagrams.

The parts we're most interested in are the table, crown, girdle, and pavilion. The way those 3 parts are shaped and proportioned has a huge effect on the looks and value of a diamond.

Knowledge Check

Let's say you're looking at a 1.01 carat round brilliant diamond - it has a colour grade of F, a clarity grade of SI1, and an excellent cut grade. So, what does this mean to you?

Round brilliant is the cut of the diamond. It has a round outline and a brilliant cutting style. 1.01ct is a fairly large diamond - this one in particular is 6.42 mm in diameter (that's a quarter inch!). This stone is colourless - F is the lowest colour grade in the colourless range, but it is still classified as colourless. The diamond will either have one large or several small inclusions that are easy to see under 10x magnification, but hard or impossible to see while looking through the table of a stone with the naked eye(they may be visible through the pavilion with the naked eye). The diamond will be very well cut - the best cut grade possible, in fact! There will be no visible variation in the girdle outline, and all the facets will be well-placed and symmetrical.

It's up to you to decide if this stone matches your criteria - is SI1 a good enough cut grade for you? Is 1.01ct the right size? How "good" a stone is depends on what you want - there will always be bigger, clearer, more colourless diamonds on the market. What makes a stone "good" is if it's the right fit for you. Another stone may be better quality, but if it's out of your price range, then it's not a good stone for you.

In Conclusion

So, you made it this far! Congrats! Hopefully, I haven't bored you too much. We've really just scratched the surface - this was enough information to give you a good idea of what's going on and allow you to navigate the mysticisms of those strange numbers and letters you see associated with diamonds. All information was taken from the GIA Diamond Essentials 130 and Diamonds and Diamond Grading 230 courses and my 6ish years in the jewelry industry. If you have questions about specific pieces of information or want more resources, send me an ask! I will be delighted to answer.

#WOW this on is an absolute beast #final word count is 1674 #fun fact this is how i'm studying for my gemology final #long post #goldsmith answers

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mimzy-writing-online · 11 months

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hello!! I don't know if this blog is still active or not but you're the first resource I found when looking up things about writing blind characters so here i am. I have a character who's a fantasy race that naturally has a better sense of smell & hearing. This character also happens to be blind. Their blindness is not inherently why they have these advantages, but I still want to avoid coming off as cliche. Is there any way I should make this clear/anything i should alter? thx for reading !

Hi, the blog is active. If it's been a while since the last post, it's just because life hasn't given me much time to work on the blog but it has not been abandoned.

As for your question:

-Establish which race your character is early on during their introduction. You can work some world building in piece by piece and explain that they have stronger senses of hearing and smell than humans.

-In your planning/world-building you should consider how heavily that race relies on those senses for environmental awareness. Once you work out what's possible/impossible for your character to smell and hear, then you go through what you need your character to notice for the story.

Those two above should be enough to avoid cliche territory but if you have a moment where the character's ability to focus on a sense seems too special or plot-convenient, just work through whether or not it's possible for the character to identify this sound/smell and break down what the thought process was.

I have a lot of people in my life who treat my senses of sound/touch/taste/smell/etc as super human because I notice details they've never had to pay attention to before. A lot of times I respond to their awe by explaining my thought process and how I came to certain conclusions. It's mostly pattern recognition and detective work.

For example, I can smell a burger joint from two blocks away, but I have friends who won't smell it until we're walking past the door.

My friends don't need to think about the smells and what they mean because their environmental awareness begins with visual input and everything that comes after is just extra context. They'll see a sign from two blocks away, identify the logo/name/branding. If they're hungry they might focus on that sign long enough to remember the food sold there and maybe even the smells they remember. If they're not hungry, they'll move onto the next visual cue they notice.

I am getting a lot less visual info with a much shorter "warning" time, so I'll probably catch the smell of food on the wind long before I ever see a sign. For my brain, the thought process becomes: I smell food. Someone is cooking meat. Beef? There's notes of fried oil in the air. It's probably a burger place. Then I work with what I know about the area and if I remember any major restaurants.

Another example is that I used laundry room as markers for corners and apartment buildings in my neighborhood. I can connect that random rumbling sound with the smell of fresh laundry.

For most people it's just an unknown rumbling sound. For my bestie, it's a mechanical sound of a home appliance but not a refrigerator or a heating unit or something he specifically worked with in the past. For me, the process is- It's a mechanical sound but not one belonging to a car. It's also stationary and the sound is steady and repetitive, looping ever 3 seconds or less. I connect the sound with the smell of fresh laundry and I know that it's coming from a dryer. Which was actually very helpful in my old apartment building because I could tell if the washer and dryer were in use from outside the building, so I knew if it was pointless to get my laundry ready right away.

So if you have a moment that seems too super powered, just work through the thought process and adjust details until it feels right.

#anon #blind character #super senses

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your-averagewriter · 1 year

Text

Thank you.

Summary: (y/n) meets the Sully family under interesting circumstances and becomes particularly close with both Kiri and Neteyam. When Kiri and (y/n) are on the beach, Tsireya's brothers come along and bother them but luckily the two brothers are there to help.

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: kissing, bullying, fighting, violence, blood, fluff

Swimming through the water on my way to my ilus pen. I dive under an arch-shaped rock and come up the other side bumping into someone or something. I look up, slightly startled but more worried about the possible person I hit.

I look up at them just as they look down at me and I've never seen them before. He looks different from everyone else, his skin is a different shade of blue and his tail is different.

I look at him confused but then I sign a quick 'sorry' to him which he evidently doesn't understand so I point up to the surface so that we can speak.

We get up to the surface and he starts gasping for air but I just gracefully flick some hair out of my face.

"Hey…sorry about that." I say a bit embarrassed about swimming into him.

"It's fine, it happens to the best of us?" He says it like a question.

"You're not from around here are you?" I ask him and he shakes his head. "I didn't think so. What's your name?" I ask him.

"Neteyam. Yours?"

"(y/n)." I say with a smile but our conversation is interrupted by Tsireya and a couple of others swimming to the surface.

"Hey, (y/n)!" She says, a smile on her face. Tsireya and I are good friends.

"Hey," I reply. "Who are they?" I say quietly to her not wanting to sound rude.

"They are from a different clan, they are Omatikayan, from the jungle. This is Lo'ak, Kiri, Tuk and-"

"Neteyam." I finish.

She explains why they're here and that she's teaching them our ways.

"I'm sorry you guys had to leave your home," I say with a sad smile. "I hope you can find a home in our village."

"Thanks," Neteyam replies with smiles from the rest of the family.

"I guess I'll see you guys around." I say with a couple of nods before I dive back under and continue on my way to the ilus pen. I haven't managed to see my ilu for a number of days now due to the business of the clan.

I find my ilu and after feeding her some of her favourite snacks we soar through the ocean, giving her some time to metaphorically stretch her legs.

Darting through the seaweed and in between the fish I specifically try not to bump into anyone especially when I'm riding my ilu. We swim around and I let her pick where she wants to go mostly. She takes us around the reef and I swim past a familiar person again, Neteyam.

I wave as we go past and smile at him but then we shoot off again. We spend a couple of hours swimming around together through the reef but also we do a little outer reef exploring.

Making our way back, the next few days seem to blur by.

I become friends with Kiri, both of us being slightly timid and odd helped, I'm sure. I also became friends with the rest of the family although mostly with Kiri and Neteyam.

Kiri asked me to meet her at a certain part of the beach today so I head down there. She's lying in the water looking down at the sand, I chuckle but not in a mocking way. Crouching down I tap her on the shoulder and she sits up removing her face from the water.

"What are you doing?" I ask her, smiling at her peculiar practice.

"I'm looking at the sand, it's beautiful, this whole place is beautiful."

"Whilst I agree…what's so special about the sand?" I ask curiously.

"Just look!" She says plunging her head back in the water and I follow suit.

I look at the sand that twirls around itself making beautiful patterns and swirls. It's sparkly and reflects the sun's light. I pull my face from the water and so does Kiri.

"You were right, it is beautiful." I say with a soft expression on my face until I see Tsireya's brothers walk over to us.

"Look it's the five fingered freak!" One of them says but Kiri doesn't hear them because her face is in the water. "And (y/n) the freak befriender!"

"Why are you being mean? We're not doing anything to you?" I ask confused but not suprised, these boys often pick on me and my odd tendancies.

"What is she even doing?" One of them points at Kiri who is looking at the sand and the rest of them laugh.

I tap Kiri on the shoulder again and she flips her hair over pulling herself from the water.

"Huh?" She asks softly and I indicate to the boys.

"I called you a freak!" He reiterates and I watch as her face falls.

"Leave us alone." She says but they don't relent so we get up to leave.

They grab at her tail and mock her about her fingers so I grab her hand, I try to keep walking but then they grab my tail.

"You might as well be a freak with how you behave!" He shouts at me pushing me to the floor.

"(y/n)!" Kiri yells seeing me fall to the floor but soon enough Lo'ak comes over to defend the both of us then Neteyam comes over to defend all of us including his hotheaded younger brother.

"Leave them alone, both of them. I understand that you've been picking on (y/n) for a while but from now on you will leave my sister and (y/n) alone." He says recalling the conversation we had a few days ago about them picking on me.

The boys back off but then Lo'ak punches one of them in the face causing a full in fight to break out.

I scramble to get up out of the way and I'm pulled up by Kiri. We stand next to the tree next to Neteyam who afterwards also gets involved in the fight.

They punch each other, pull each others' ears, tails and hair and overall attack each other. The Sully boys come out of it much better and eventually the others retreat.

I rush over to Neteyam as I see his bleeding lip and bruising eye. I kneel on the floor next to him and hold his face in my hands.

"You're hurt." I state turning his face checking for anymore injuries.

"I'm fine." He reassures, gently holding onto my arms. "Are you okay? They pushed you on the floor?" He asks.

"Yeah," I say with a sad sigh. "Thank you." I say leaning forward and wrapping my arms around him.

He hugs back. "For what?"

"For defending me and Kiri. No one's ever done that for me before." I say resting my head in his chest.

"Really?" I nod. "You need to get some better friends then." He says and I chuckle before sitting back up.

I place a kiss to his cheek and stand up. "Well thank you." I say but what I didn't expect afterwards was the dark blue haze that takes over his face as he sits on the floor.

And I hear his siblings chuckling behind me.

"What?" I ask but they just laugh. "Seriously, what?" I ask with a soft smile.

"Nothing." They both assure me but their laughing continues so I doubt it's nothing.

AN: I hope you enjoyed!

I'm not sure how I feel about this so I might delete it. This is the last of my Avatar posts (at least that I've written) so I'll probably start writing other stuff again: AoT, MCR, etc...

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