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sunshine-jesse · 4 months

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In defense of Andrew Graves: Facing Yourself

Alt title: Andrew Graves: The Will to Plow Her

I think my analysis of Andrew is one of the best essays I've written so far. But since then, I think I've expanded my understanding of his character in a way that urges me to add on to my prior essay. What I intend on doing is further fleshing out my reading of Burial, and going deeper in detail on why I think Decay ends up panning out the way it does. This essay will end up sharing a lot of text with my prior one, but will add enough scattered throughout that I think it merits a complete reread instead of just scrolling down and seeing what's new.

I've focused a lot on Ashley in my past writings. She's my favorite character in the story (and depending on how episode 3 pans out, maybe ever) and I'm pretty mortified by how some parts of the fandom have reacted towards her, so I pretty much made it my life's mission to push back against that. From highlighting the ways Andrew mistreats her, to coming up with justifications for her behavior that aren't just being a manipulative bitch, I really wanted to prove that a more favorable picture of her could be painted than most were willing to.

But in doing so, I've left Andrew in the dust.

In highlighting his flaws and the ways he mistreats Ashley, I think I've implied a level of intentionality to his actions that I don't believe he has. When I say that Ashley did nothing wrong, it's in direct response to the idea that she holds the most responsibility and agency in how their dynamic plays out, when in reality, I believe she has very little. Most of her actions in-story are in reaction to a variety of stimuli that come directly from Andrew, that he has control over and are aware of how Ashley feels about. His refusal to use clear and direct language to deny her most toxic tendencies causes her more and more stress as time goes on, and instead of giving her clear answers he opts to be catty, passive-aggressive, or, at his worst, threatening. Never direct and never clear, except when establishing boundaries over his name after the choking scene. Andrew fails to help Ashley be better in some frankly depressing ways throughout the whole story, especially in their childhoods, so we never get to see where she'd fall short if given a better influence.

...

Kind of. More on that later!

In mentioning his thing about preferring to be called Andrew instead of Andy, I also implicitly mention one of the places where Ashley falls short in their dynamic and could stand to do better: recognition.

This scene says a lot. It's the most heartbreaking scene in the game, if you ask me, and probably the single most profound and well-written moment in the entire story. I could write a whole 2000 word essay on it alone, but I've already said most of what I have to say about it through what I've said in other essays, so I'll spare you all that. Instead, I'll use it to highlight something:

"I had fun."

Their dysfunction is fun to her. She's so used to abuse and alienation that even the most awful, stressful (as far as we know) route of the game is still fun to her. And that's not a sign of her being a secret evil sociopath or whatever; that's actually not abnormal behavior to develop for a lifelong victim of abuse. Those highs and lows, those strong emotional highs and lows are -addicting-. They're -fun.- Part of why abuse victims get into so many abusive relationships is because it's easy to pick up on those patterns of thought and take advantage of them, and the cycle of abuse is often furthered when a victim of abuse tries to draw out mutually abusive behaviors in someone with no interest in having that kind of dynamic.

This is where I'm willing to acknowledge Ashley's manipulative tendencies. Not just as a matter of controlling Andrew for its own sake, purely out of jealousy or possessiveness, but as a matter of trying to further the only dynamic she's ever known in her life. Better the devil you know, right?

That push and pull- that emotional rollercoaster- is all many of us know. And it's all Ashley knows. This dynamic is something she's so used to that she reacts incredibly harshly to any attempt to change it, because she doesn't know that things can be better. Because of this, she refuses to engage with who Andrew really is, and tells herself- and him- that she *hates* Andrew:

This scene is almost as heartbreaking as the above one in a lot of ways.

Andrew putting his foot down about the Andy/Andrew name dichotomy wasn't arbitrary and it wasn't just about his comfort. It was about Andrew giving a clear indication about what needs to happen for their relationship to improve. He's recognizing the cycle between them and wants to put a stop to it, because he's confident that things between them CAN get better and evolve into something healthier. Ashley, not understanding that their dynamic can get better, because their "fun" little push and pull of abuse is all she knows, rejects that. She rejects the unknown, and says- in Andrew's mind at least- that she'll never accept that new dynamic, nor will she accept who he really is.

Ouch. No wonder he looks so sad in that screenshot.

They have a conflict of understanding here, and I think it's fair to pin most of the responsibility on Ashley. Andrew was clear in what he wanted, and Ashley just... Didn't. She didn't see the importance of it ("...whatever that means in practice") and didn't really ask. This gap in communication, perfectly displayed in this scene, is likely what causes the Decay ending. He wants things to be better, and wants to treat Ashley better, and whether or not he understands the ways in which she communicates with him is in part what determines what he sees her as.

But there's a lot of evidence that he always wanted things to be better, that he always wanted to treat her better. But external factors have made it very, very difficult, and I think there are two key points in which he started to shed the importance of those external factors and seek that better relationship, both of which happening in the apartment: The killing of the warden and the 302 lady. In the first case, he was forced to do it to protect Ashley in a way he hadn't done before, or depending on how you look at it, since the death of Nina. But the intentionality was the key point here. After this point, he calls Ashley Leyley, which may or may not seem important at this point, but it's something I'll draw attention to later, so keep that in mind.

Next is the killing of the 302 lady, which is the much, much bigger point. We don't learn much about it until later on- as at first he just gives an excuse about the nail gun that doesn't line up with what we see on the map- but during the dream, it's revealed it was a calculated, intentional killing that he did to make sure there was no evidence left behind, and because Ashley (supposedly) would've wanted him to do it anyway. I say supposedly because Ashley herself doesn't seem to ever want Andrew to kill for her past Nina's death, because he only ever kills for her to defend one or both of them. If you want more evidence that violence for violence's sake isn't something she wants, look at this part in the final dream:

A knife isn't what opens the door, despite it being placed on the ground in that very map. While it seems obvious that the knife (violence) would be the key to solving the puzzle, it's put there explicitly to show you that it isn't. It's not what she wants; what she wants is a flower.

So, why is this important? Why am I centering Ashley- again- when this essay is supposed to be about Andrew?

It's because these two killings are when Andrew's self-delusion over who he really is starts to break down. It's still there, mind, as he still relies upon Ashley as an excuse to justify it, but, as well as what I've said before, the name ultimatum is an implicit confession that the normalcy he finds comfort in is starting to lose its grasp on him. There's a lot that's been said about Andy being something close to a "moral impulse" for Andrew, given his child self's reaction to Nina's death being the only thing he does that approximates a normal moral response to his and Ashley's actions, but if you do think that- which I think is a reasonable thing to think even if I don't necessarily agree- there's something you must also keep in mind:

-He- is the one who doesn't want to be called that anymore. -He- is the one who wants to let that moral impulse go, and Ashley is the one making it difficult.

That reading is assuming that Andy is a moral impulse, which I think is... either wrong or too simplistic. Every time I see that reading, it's from someone who's trying to paint him too sympathetically and absolve him of most moral responsibility. I also find it infantilizing to equate morality with childhood in such a way? But that's another tangent that I didn't sign up to talk about. What I do think, however, is that it's a useful framing device to display his own relationship with morality; the allegory to his child self doesn't have to be there for the general pattern to exist.

When Ashley starts to grill Andrew over the killing of the 302 lady, he gets mad. Very mad. Ashley sees it as pointless, as him covering his own ass, but he genuinely did it for her sake, because he thought that's what she wanted, and that it'd make her happy. But what makes her happy isn't violence- or any similarly extreme action for that matter- it's attention and validation. Something he's always reluctant to give her, despite the fact that he always chose her over the alternatives. But despite making that choice, it's always empty and meaningless, because in Ashley's mind, he never did it for her sake.

And hoo boy, does he not like it being framed like this.

He is perfectly willing to do whatever it takes to keep them happy and safe... but only for her sake. It has to be for her sake. He still needs that traditional role, and he still needs to have a narrative in which he's the good guy- a protector. Because it can't be for his sake. It can't be because that's what he wants. He has to uphold that romantic (in the literary tradition sense) ideal. His darkly romantic idealistic streak colors many of his actions and beliefs. This is most plainly visible in his quip about a double suicide being romantic, but it's also visible within the symbolism present within his dream, such as how he can only pave his own path in blood unless Ashley lights the way. It's visible within his appreciation for poetry, and it's visible with how the cultist within the dream speaks in Shakespearean English.

But the transient nature of this ideal is also revealed within this dream, because there's never a cohesive, guided path, even with Ashley there to light it up. Contrary to Ashley's dream, where you literally have maps showing you where to go, Andrew's dream has many more dead ends and no map to guide him. The symbolic role he acts out gives him no clarity, and there's no overarching narrative; merely a bunch of disconnected symbols.

This is contrasted with Ashley's dream, which has narratives so clear that the story literally gives the dream an episode title.

In a sense, he wants to view himself as an actor acting out a role in a story. He wants his life to be poetic, to represent something greater, and to have a cohesive narrative. This is why he's so disconnected from his true desires: He's more concerned with acting as a representative of an ideal than a person with agency. But every time the mask drops, every time he stops acting, his true self becomes visible. He naturally settles into being comfortable around Ashley, in treating her with warmth and kindness, and their banter becomes much less toxic. As intent as he is on acting out his role, it does nothing for him, and as his dream sequence shows, it doesn't even form a cohesive narrative, because he can't act one out. It's too contrary to who he really is, and what he really wants. But that idealization doesn't just apply to himself, it also applies to Ashley. Specifically, who Ashley is, vs who he wants her to be.

In his unique dream sequence, he sees two versions of Ashley; the child version of her- Leyley- and the adult version of her- Ashley. And the differences in the ways he interacts with the two of them are stunning. Leyley is an obstinate, annoying child. She's the one he NEEDS to take care of, and he hates that. He hates Leyley for what she did for his childhood. He hates that he needs to provide for her. He has the option of trying to kill her, even, over something as small as a candle!

But in the room with all the murders, the gilded cage, he sees Ashley as an adult. This version of Ashley is stuck in a closet that he himself has to open- and to choose to see. Their interactions are calm and friendly. She teases him a bit, sure, but she's still helpful, and they have fun together. He doesn't need her, and she doesn't need him. He needed Leyley- needed the candle- but here, there are other limbs strewn about for him to take. And, crucially, he doesn't even have the option to kill this Ashley for one of the limbs.

And during the choking scene, he lets her go the moment she acknowledges that he doesn't need her anymore. This is the first time we know of that he seems comfortable enough to set a clear boundary, which is acknowledging that their prior dynamic is dead and that they're now Andrew and Ashley, not Andy and Leyley. It's a bit late to express a clear boundary -after- literally acting like he was going to kill someone, but it's the first time we know of that he sets a clear standard for what, in his mind, would improve his relationship with Ashley.

After all, what he wants is to want her, not need her. He wants Ashley for Ashley's sake. Not for what she can provide him. He doesn't even need her for sleep, he just wants her. But Ashley has trouble acknowledging this, because he's never before shown that WANT. Only a NEED. She keeps trying to find ways to make him need her, because she's never seen what his desire for her is really like. She's only ever seen him desiring someone else, someone other than her.

She's only ever seen him as Andy, because she's never truly seen Andrew, only the violence he can inflict on others. But Andrew can see both:

He can see Leyley, the needy, bratty child who always needs his attention, that he needs to provide for. The one he hates and wants to get rid of. The one he kills for to protect.

And he can see Ashley, the one who engages in friendly and cute banter with him. Who comforts and shows him physical affection. The one he loves. The one he kills for to make happy.

He just can't choose which one he wants to see. Every outside influence- from his parents, to Julia, to Nina- makes him see her as Leyley. Ashley herself makes him see her as Leyley too, whenever she brings up all the things he did for her, and calls him Andy, his child self, instead of Andrew, his current self. And as long as he sees that child, he feels like one too, and can never give Ashley anything that comes from the heart.

But he really, really wants to see Ashley as an adult. He wants to take pride in her, how much she's grown, and how driven and competent she really is.

But god damn, does that bitch ever make it hard, because there IS no real difference between Ashley and Leyley. She's grown and changed over time, taking more adult (and stereotypically feminine) responsibility upon herself, but the fact that her temperament and personality hasn't changed much obfuscates that growth. When you talk to Ashley in the closet during the dream after getting the limb, Andrew asks Ashley to come out of the closet, but she refuses to come out because he won't invite Leyley over to play, which is a pretty strong metaphor for how he interfaces with different aspects of Ashley's personality and refuses to accept others. But the reality is that he needs to accept both, or rather, see her whole self as Ashley, rather than just the parts he likes.

In the end, it's him who has to make the choice how to see her. Ashley can only see what she's been shown, but Andrew can choose.

And in the basement scene, he makes that choice.

If Ashley refuses to leave him alone with their parents, that's it. In one of the most critical and important moments of his life, she couldn't give him the space needed to make up his own mind. She couldn't treat him as an adult. She couldn't see him as Andrew. If she does give him that choice, she chooses to acknowledge that Andrew is an adult who can be trusted to make his own decisions, even though she (perhaps foolishly) believes that this choice lines up with her own interests. And frankly it does either way, but in accepting their mom's offer, her chooses to see her as Leyley once and for all. He chooses not to reciprocate what Ashley showed him. He does it because he needs to, not because he wants to. Because it's his duty, not his desire.

This is what results in the Decay ending. Through his inability to see Ashley as an adult, he surrenders his agency and views all of his actions as an extension of his responsibilities, his role, which he no longer wishes to uphold. He dissociates fully from who he really is, acting in accordance with that disconnected, barely-cohesive narrative that exists only within his mind. The game starts to resemble the heartwrenching tragedy that many seem to take for granted that it is, as their dynamic fully doubles down on its painful toxicity. And, in an example of a poetic book end, Ashley's dream shows a double suicide, closing the book on their tragic tale.

It's tragic. It's heartwrenching. It's poetic. It's beautiful.

...Except it's not. Not at all.

It's actually fucking stupid, pointless, and brutal, and Burial shows us that. When we view their spiral as beautiful, we project the same darkly romantic ideal that Andrew possesses onto the story.

But the actual reality is horrifying.

Ashley spends most of Decay terrified of Andrew, the one person she found comfort in. He acts cold, distant, and aggressive towards her, showing pointless cruelty instead of any warmth. All she wants is comfort; all she wants is to not die. She doesn't want to engage in this death spiral at all, and, in her dream sequence, shows none of the same willingness to die alongside Andrew that Andrew does with her. The moment we stop focusing on the end of the Decay dream sequence, which has very striking imagery, and if you choose not to shoot, one of the most beautiful scenes in the game, we can see it for what it really is:

A scared animal running away from a predator.

The moment you see Decay through Ashley's eyes, and not the perspective of some romantic ideal, Decay becomes terrifying, tense, and painful. There is no catharsis to be had in this tragedy. It's easily avoidable as long as Andrew chooses to engage with reality, and not the empty promises of his mother and incoherent narrative of his ideal.

Finding beauty and meaning in tragedy is how we cope with the harshness of reality. But there is no coherent narrative to the tragedies we experience, just like there's no coherent narrative to the ideal Andrew wishes to uphold. It's something we create- that he creates- but it's not something that actually exists.

And when Andrew casts aside his desire for that ideal, and the responsibilities it shackles him to, it grants him clarity that he never had before. He sees the world for how it really is, and acknowledges that nobody- the least of which their mother- is as different from Ashley as they pretend to be.

They're no better than her, and he's tired of people pretending that they are. People are all the same, no matter what ideals they try to uphold and represent. They still sacrifice others in the name of advancing themselves, still punch down whenever they can, and still lay blame on those beneath them rather than try to take control of their lives. They just use those ideals to justify themselves, but Ashley, and now Andrew, reject even the need for that justification.

This is why I believe the story is nihilistic. Not in that it asserts the inherent meaninglessness of life, but in that it grapples with the ideals we uphold and how they obfuscate the reality of the world we live in. The story, intentionally or not, highlights how ideals are often but a pretense we use to justify what we were likely going to do regardless, and how holding to them too strongly can lead to our ruin- and how monstrous they make us look to those who do not share them.

Consequently, this is how I view the part of the fanbase who thinks Decay is a good ending.

(the characters themselves represent existentialism rather than nihilism but i couldn't really fit that analysis in here without it feeling forced so i might cover that another time)

From that point on, their relationship becomes a lot more friendly, lighthearted, and playful. They ironically start acting more like children, but to quote CS Lewis:

"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence."

He's not ashamed of being playful with Ashley, or showing affection towards her. He's grown up. He finally sees her, and himself, as an adult- although he still doesn't show that in full until much later on (more or that later). But in Decay, he still sees her as a child, and to an extent, probably himself. Let's compare the ways in which he reacts to being called Andy. In Decay, he lashes out at Ashley and gets angry, even threatening her. But in Questionable Burial, he calmly says that Andy is dead and doesn't need Ashley's comfort, but still tries to reassure her that she's still needed. He's not ashamed of or hostile towards their prior dynamic, because he's grown past it. He still acknowledges Ashley's need to feel needed, but here, he recognizes its importance to her, whereas he was hostile towards it before.

It's a display of respect towards her feelings.

This interaction doesn't happen in the Sane ending, however. He doesn't play games with her and is just a lot less fun to be around all together. Why is that? Because he still hasn't yet shaken viewing Ashley as Leyley there. He still views her as a burden, as someone who needs taking care of. He's calmly accepted that, too, mind you, but he lacks respect for her because she's still a child, in his mind. But in Questionable?

The vision did more than just make him extremely embarrassed and lay his deepest desires bare. It forced him to recognize Ashley as an adult. When choosing between "Never" and "Never say never," if Never is chosen, the burden of thought is lifted off of him. But if Ashley chooses "Never say never!", he has to reckon with the fact that Ashley is an adult, someone who can consent to those kinds of things. Someone who MIGHT. Someone who has agency, and can make her own decisions. And more importantly… someone who can trust him to make his own.

Whether he desires sex or not is secondary; he's always had those feelings and has always been ashamed of them. But now that the part of him where that shame came from is dead and buried, there's no childish impulse to grow up. There's no attachment to the hate and bitterness he had before. Look at what he worries about when he picks up that she's uncertain or confused about who he is now:

It's her feelings.

He wants to be fun to be around. He wants to make Ashley happy. He loves her, and not as a romantic interest or even as a sibling. He loves her independent of all that baggage.

He loves her as a person.

Their relationship runs contrary to societal ideals in some pretty huge ways. So contrary, in fact, that it's hard for some to accept it as anything good, that it can ever be best for the people involved. It's incestuous. It involves them killing and eating their parents. It involves them distancing themselves so much from society that it's hard to believe they'll ever fit in it again. It's chaotic, it's messy, it's codependent, and maybe even toxic. And yet, here they are. They're coexisting. They're happy. They're healing. They're navigating the world in the only way they can: together.

Meanwhile, in Decay, Andrew refuses to allow himself to get closer to Ashley. He surrenders all agency to her, buys into his own narrative, drinks his own Kool-Aid, and may or may not condemn one or both of them to death in the process. Like it or not, the only path where Andrew takes ownership of his life is the one where he's closest to his sister. It's the one where he decides where they will go next, the one where he decides his own feelings matter, and acts in accordance with what he wants instead of how he thinks he should act.

His agency, his freedom, and his growth don't happen in spite of his codependency; they're happen because of it. They can't grow alone. They can't heal alone.

In reading the story, one must interrogate how important those societal ideals are in the face of the realities of what makes people happy. Are those ideals worth upholding in spite of this? Can we really allow people to fall through the cracks in the name of social norms? Can we blame people for taking rash actions when the social contract has failed them?

Or are we so blinded by those ideals that we can't see that people can be happy while blatantly disregarding them?

All I know is that in Burial, Andrew, having cast aside normalcy, now appears to be truly happy for the first time in his life.

Who are we to take that from him?

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #tcoaal #gaming #gravecest #tcoaal essay

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aboutnavi · 1 year

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I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).

My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:

Neil: Why do you hate him?

Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?

Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.

Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.

Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?

& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.

Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.

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uchiha-7thsingularity · 1 year

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Touchstarved is a new addition to my fandom found family

(After playing the demo and listening to behind the scenes with the devs interview)

I'm glad they are getting the love and support they deserve on their own creation...they legally own now. 😤😍

I will be buying merch from them! And donating because I want this game to be developed as soon as possible.

Mhin will be my seventh emo child I adopt after Felix (last legacy), minato (p3), Virgil(sanders sides), levi(obey me), rory(lucifer), and idia(tw). They're the embodiment of "don't touch me I'm lethal and will use it to my advantage." Like a feral kitten with zoomies trying to get their prized toys which is a decent conversation with someone. A hunter that is welcome to hunt me down to get their cloak back.

Kuras got me on my knees with his healing touch. *not sexually* I mean he lit a fire in me to the point I want to see him go feral every time I toss and turn to see his true colors. His design screams "I'm the sun your a speck of dust not sit and let me observe you." Kind but aloof. Gentle but stern. Calm but will be feral if necessary. Another reason to follow him till the end of time.

Vere is THAT asshole, dick of a friend. Best friend? Frenemy?! Doesn't matter his deal I want to rile him up. Make his fur stand on end when he feels my MC's presence walk into the same room he's in just to say nothing to him and walk out. I want to fight him. Lovingly where he respects me to some degree to which were on first name basis. Bark or hiss at him at random to throw him off. Vibes are "I'll throw you across this room if you don't stop grabbing for my tail."

Ais is a hot pepper. You look at his whole design and see "Stop looking or be my guest I could care less." A man who gives you no second glance. Tames beasts. Punches a dirtbag for you because he felt like it. Named a dog demon princess.....I would like to buy him a drink. Will physically cling to him to ask him how his day went. Would make him laugh by tripping and falling to just see his reaction. Yep, that's what I was hoping for and I want more.

Leander is a wannabe hero figure/leader sort of. A man of taste in magical affairs. Could standoff as a "great smile just don't fall for the shine." Lends you a firm hand but is smooth like butter. Hype man. Heavy drinker and fighter. He a wingman but in the wrong way to where he ends up with the person we wanted to woo. Up to all kinds of shenanigans unless rent paid then he parties. I need his good luck charms to earn a lucky night out with him. Tell me everything!

Still will wait two years for this game. Want the devs to go at their own pace to not be overwhelmed. Have to redraw my oc. Love the story and how the devs said all the characters are doomed either way no matter the bad or good endings. All five individuals will be chaos. It's a case of will I make them worse or better.Instead the alternative is to make them realize you will never leave their side no matter what. Lots of death and gore. Finally! Finally!! Like a villain (mainly monsters) story where we have toxic characters and don't automatically make them good just because but actually dive into the lore and help them break a curse or live with it. Redemption? Possibly?! Althouh, I want to help them show their true colors and what their capable of even if it leads directly to a dead end. These five have no idea what's coming for them...I've ranted enough for today. Bye!

#touch starved #mhin touchstarved #kuras touchstarved #leander touchstarved #vere touchstarved #ais touchstarved #demo game #rants n rambles #personal chaos

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chartreuseian · 24 days

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Fanfic Tag Game!

Tagged by the one and only @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter ❤️

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

Only 22!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

492,234. Which is a lot of words per fic, yes.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary. Though I used to write for others

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mr & Mrs - 110

Love Don't Die - 46

With Interest - 30 (but I feel this is misleading in that it's been up the longest)

Sturdy (29)

And it's a tie for fifth! Both What Should Have Happened After The Clean Up and When Will Failed the Perception Test have 18.

It is hilarious to me that only one of these is G rated. On is M rated, but otherwise it's explicit all the way 😲

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to! The only time I don't is if I've already been chatting to the person about the thing. But otherwise yes. Come be my friend via the comments!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I had one called 'Release' that was all about Helen dying and choosing to go which was pretty angsty. 'She Had Him at Hello' is also gonna have a more angsty ending because canon is angsty when it comes to Helen and Nikola...

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hehe. Most of them? I generally prefer happy endings because life is dark and depressing enough all on its own... I mean I did a whole series where the central premise was giving Helen and Nikola the happy ending the writers weren't willing to offer...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly, not since joining the Sanctuary fandom. The only really awful, vitrolic hate I recieved was in a different fandom (nothing quite like a gang of middle aged women telling you that you're awful to start off your writing journey!!)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol. Yes. Most kinds. I'm new to the kinkier stuff, but provided it is consensual, I'm game.

Most of my stuff is romantic-y though. I like to write the tender stuff, with the occasional rough and tumble threaded throughout.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haven't done one yet! Though I'm not adverse to it - my brain just doesn't work that way.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I... I don't think so. Is that a thing people do?! Yikes...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nope. Again though, not adverse to the idea!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Helen/Nikola. Hands down. Their dynamic is *chefs kiss*

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description, probably. And build up maybe? I'm pretty good at stretching out the anticipation...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight sequences. I know in theory they're no different to sex scenes, but a lot of the smut I write is about the feeling rather than the action.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I used to do a fair bit of it, but I've found ways around it now so that I don't have to struggle with grammar I'm absolutely going to get wrong. The only exceptions for me are when I want to use a single word (like when Helen meets one of Nikola's sisters and she says 'sestra') where translation is clear, or when a character is trying to hide something from another. But even then I'll normally not use more than a word or two.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Private Practice.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Well, my current favourite is 'Stupid' because it really was my first go at writing some proper kinky stuff and I'm pretty pleased with how chapter 2 turned out, even if I'm still a bit nervous about posting it because it's more intense than anything I've written before.

Tagging @tinknevertalks @theleotorrio @writerxwren (and anyone else who wants to play along!!)

#thank you :)#tag game

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theabyssgazesalsointoyou · 1 month

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📖 but with songs :3

📖: If you had to remove one book from the series, which would you choose?

i am so so sorry for this possibly controversial insanely long rant but. dywh. it is so unfair to both chloe and jeremy it drives me insane i wish the scene never existed and maybe the fandom would be a much more peaceful place. rant under the cut

i genuinely hate dywh so much you have no idea. it literally serves no purpose to the story. if it was intended to be a metaphor for how men can be sexually assaulted because they often are not allowed to deny sexual advances, then it should've actually addressed how it affected jeremy instead of just brushing everything off and 'redeeming' chloe in vimh. don't get me wrong, it is very important to raise awareness about that, but it doesn't work in be more chill because the entire message of the musical is that people- especially teenagers- aren't who they seem because external and internal factors influence how they act. that they can make bad choices but they can also learn from their mistakes and change for the better. if chloe didn't end up being redeemed and the musical wanted people to dislike her then fine, whatever. it's still highly debatable considering how jeremy's trauma was never properly addressed but at least it makes sense for the scene to be included in order to really drive it home that she's an awful person. but she did end up being redeemed and they're trying to tell the audience even she's forgivable. and guess what! a lot of people don't agree with this because of course the audience is going to have a hard time buying that when the severity of chloe's 'mistakes' stick out like a sore thumb.

because if you think about it, all that the plot required was that the couples (aka upstage and puppy love) break up. and god there were better ways to do that. even if they had to include a scene like dywh they could've played it off in a tame way like chloe drunkenly attempting to 'seduce' jeremy (aka just a weird vaguely suggestive dance, nothing else involved). just asking him and backing off when he says no, because there is no reason for chloe to actually try to force jeremy to do anything. jeremy was not her concern, she doesn't even like him, it was brooke and jake. she couldn't give less shits about jeremy, all that mattered was that brooke thought he cheated on her and jake thought chloe had sex with someone else in his parents' room. like hell if they'd know what was going on behind closed doors?? all she had to do was just stay in the room with him for like half an hour then later subtly drop something about fucking him. is that not more in character for her? she's manipulative. she lies.

or they could've just stayed true to the book and made it 'consensual' (as 'consensual' as it can be while under the influence, that is) and nothing about the plot would've changed. brooke would still have thought jeremy cheated on her and jake would still have gotten mad at them for invading the sanctity of his parents' room and chloe would absolutely have still twisted the situation to her advantage because that's who she is. it's not out of character for her at all to rub it in jake's face- why turn down such an opportunity to hurt him? or for her to claim jeremy kissed her first? because she always puts the blame on someone else and manipulates brooke.

i would like to make it clear that i do think she should be held accountable for those actions, because 1) whatever her intentions were doesn't matter, the fact that it made jeremy feel uncomfortable & threatened does and 2) her entire reason for doing that was so incredibly selfish and cruel. she wanted to crush her best friend's self-esteem knowing brooke had already been cheated on and she wanted to hurt her ex-boyfriend in the worst way possible by tainting his memory of his parents who abandoned him. all that and jeremy was nothing to her. she didn't care what he thought, he was just a pawn. that is incredibly fucked up.

BUT. i am also saying that this scene was so not necessary. above all it's offensive that jeremy's trauma is never seriously taken and he's just expected to get over it in literal seconds after the scene takes place. but also- bitchy mean girl characters are already hated enough. a lot of people wouldn't have sympathized with chloe even without dywh in the picture. by literally making up that scene- it wasn't part of the source material, remember- the musical chose to put her on full blast. now we can't discuss her character without feeing like stepping on a landmine because dywh is a serious subject that some people are righteously triggered by. and the slight differences in how the actors of each production deliver that performance and how people interpret that scene is the root of all controversy.

#orca answers #bmc #be more chill #chloe valentine #very tempted to make this one unrebloggable. we'll see

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hopepaigeturner · 1 year

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What do you want from the Polin season?

I'm so sorry this took so long, but I wrote a first draft and it was super...like super long and went over a couple posts I did previously. So, I decided to focus on one aspect of S3 I'm looking forward to.

THE SECOND LOVE STORY OF S3: Eloie and Penelope.

An arc of two friends who have both hurt each other, who both need to apologise and find their way back. I would love love love to see this done well. And here's my thoughts...

As I said, both girls need to apologise.

I'm not quite getting the whole Penelope vs. Eloise thing in the fandom. They're both complex characters who make mistakes, and the best part of that S2 fight scene wasn't one triumphing over another but that there were no winners. Both were right and both were wrong.

Penelope wrote what she wrote to save Eloise--Eloise was wrong to discard her entire friendship on that basis and to fling insults at Penelope without considering Penelope's situation. (She was willing to give Whistledown up for Eloise afterall).

However, Penelope is also in the wrong because she lied to Eloise's face the entire season which led her to purposefully sow discord between Theo and Eloise. The main reason? To protect herself. (re-look at that scene). Yes, she might be trying to protect Eloise, but rewatch the scene. Nicola does such a wonderful job, Penelope reactively splurging the lie about Whistledown and Theo, her voice a little frantic to show her anxiety. Chef's kiss* So Eloise does have a right to be angry--but still overreacted a little.

And that's alright because these are two complex female characters! They should be allowed to make mistakes.

What I want in S3 is for Eloise to become aware of her privilege in the ton and therefore realise the realities of Penelope's position.We need her to realise that Penelope has been overlooked and rejected so many times that she lied to Eloise. She didn't take pleasure in the ruse, she wasn't laughing in Eloise's face, she was just so terrified that her one friend would abandon her that she kept her cards close to her chest. And Whisteldown is the only thing that give her that renown so ofcourse she would protect it.

Penelope needs to apologise for her words (in the fight scene) and for not telling Eloise sooner, not trusting Eloise enough. If you think back to S1 and beginning of S2, Eloise was estatic about Whistledown and fully supportive. And Eloise spent the entirety of S2 pouring her heart out to Penelope, trusting Penelope and Penelope used that information against her. Not just concerning the Whistledown issue (which you can argue that Pen was doing the right thing), but about the Theo issue. Pen needs to realise the pain she caused and apologise.

And how this plays out...ooh I want this to stretch out. I want the pair to realise how much they need each other, how much they miss each other. Give me longing looks, give me Eloise receiving news and turning to talk but not finding Pen there. Let's see Eloise trying to 'protect' Colin.

Yes I need cute Polin, yes I need glow-up Penelope, but alongside Polin I would love another love story--the love story of Eloise and Penelope. A love story of friendship, where the two have to face their mistakes, realise they value each other more than their past wrongs, and reconcile.

*~*~*~*

Lol I so much for a 'long 'short' post 😉.

I don't have that many concrete ideas about S3, but I do about Benophie's season.

Check out the list here, for more of my ideas.

Or check out the general arcs of my prospective S4 here.

#bridgerton #s3 speculation #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton #give me complex characters #I cry #give me more!#bridgerton family #we love some female friendships here #romancing mr bridgerton #an offer from an avid reader

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gleefullypolin · 27 days

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Trying to stay neutral in the face of some of the worst takes you've ever seen is...hard. I try to remember that I may have had the same takes if you took away 10+ years of my fandom experiences. Kneejerk reactions and doom spiraling is very much how I expect younger me might have acted. Though I could do without how literally things are taken at the moment, that's tiring.

Glad to be of service! 🫡 If my main weren't connected to a side blog for another fandom where I know I'd bring possible unwanted attention to myself I'd happily out myself.😄

The double standards: it's very sigh worthy in general and I don't disagree, the men and some specifically, are being held to a standard that was probably unfair to hold them to in the first place. I do realize that a lot of stuff has been fanon or built up the last couple of years and I get it, it's hard to lose your idea of someone. I do think that there's a good chance that men in our ships in general are being held to a standard of the female gaze that isn't about physicality but female empowerment in general. So many men judge women for having sex then immediately do what they're saying women shouldn't do.

It's not really fair to the male characters but the idea that a man would wait for and only want one woman, to be powerless against her in the way women are often portrayed for men in regular media--I get it the appeal that it would carry for some. Men are usually held to a standard of some kind they're sure to miss. If you asked me do I remember meeting my significant other I can tell you details and time and place but if you asked him I'd bet he'd not be able to say much other than he says he knows I was it for him.

I'm with you, I hope that people remember that these are real people not the characters they play and even if they were, to mind their manners.

I have come to just not enjoy screeners at all over the years. I remember one using an emoji for something and you can only imagine how that went. They were biased on top of it and were 100% wrong in its intent. It was a little much.

I think if both scenes are true then we have to have the first one to have the other and the latter one is the only one that matters. The audience is not going to remember a sentence or a throwaway line but they'll remember the scenes themselves. If a throwaway line is enough to get the point across in a visual medium, there's no need to have him staring at her longingly. There's no need to create physical tension between them. They can just tell each other and whoop, problems solved.

I think this, if true, can be handled better but I also think people in fandom forget the largest audience is a general one and they're going to need some hand holding reminders of what's going on. Colin being unable to perform is a damning indictment of what he's done to himself and just how much Penelope affects him. And I have to say that two scenes I'd wager are less than 2-3 minutes total are not going to ruin the romance of a show that's going to have 8 near one hour episodes.

If anything about any of it was even mentioned to Penelope or at all after the fact I would be very surprised. This sort of thing feels very much just a way to establish something with Colin himself. I wouldn't be sad to see it not be true but if it is, I feel it's gotten more importance in fandom than the show is ever going to give it.

I can't imagine Colin being needlessly cruel to Penelope, his words were thoughtless and I'd love to know his side of that story but irrespective of romantic feelings, this man cares deeply for her as it is.

Oh my I went back and checked my original Tumblr blog and I first posted 13 years ago and I still cringe immensely as some of the takes I had back then. Spiraling doesn’t even begin to touch what I was doing back then. Like girl, we had full on meltdowns, actual knock down drag out fights, and even in person stand offs in our fandom. I laugh about it now, most of us are either friends, or acquaintances who see each other around on Facebook or twitter but none of it even matters anymore.

But it got so bad there before the show ended that I eventually abandoned that blog and ended up starting over years later AFTER OUAT had pretty ended on my Captain Swan blog where that family is just a very lovely group of women that have tolerated my absolute abandonment due to my complete anxiety of life. Lol

I didn’t know what to expect with Bridgerton, or even what to expect with a regency type show, it really wasn’t my type of show. And I didn’t know that it had existing books with it until after I had seen season 1. All the girls at work were like “OH girl swoon, you have to watch this show.” And I have a very lovely friend, Natalie, who had written a book called “Emmie and the Tudor King” about the Tudors and I was trying very hard to learn all the rules around that world, so I thought what the hell, lets try this. And now here the hell I am! In another fandom with an actively shooting show.

But after season 1 and 2 with Simon, Anthony, and Benedict, I just figured it make 100% sense that Colin would end up sleeping around. LOL because damn…there is always one seen isn’t there. Maybe it’s a Shondaland thing, or a timeframe thing, but its definitely a theme and its coming to our screen whether we want it or not. I saw a comment earlier today somewhere that if we got up and went to the bathroom during it, it would be over before we got back, so I’m taking solace in that!

I hope they treat Nic and Luke with respect after the season airs. I’ve met my fair share of seeing the actors take the heat of their characters and I have a hole in my heart for the trauma I carry around that fandom I spoke of earlier with how fandom got involved in the actors lives and the result. Again, being young and seeing the spirals of fandom, I feel like I could write a book lol.

Lets get rid of screeners. I get why they have them, pump the hype, but do they? Or do they pump the anger and anxiety? Sometimes they use their “power” to pump the ship wars or stir the wrong sentiment. I know the saying is that all attention is good PR but is it really?

I can’t imagine that Pen finds out about the women or the visit he makes there. I mean yes she or perhaps more likely LW may have something to say about his sudden swagger or new found ladies man behavior, but Pen is not a delicate flower either. She is Lady Whistledown and I don’t think she will wilt. I think last season may have hardened her a bit.

#my asks #wonderful people

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inb4belphienaps · 3 years

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Wait did i miss something?

nah it's nothing specific but just me getting fed up with reading the same weird characterizations over n over again whenever i dip into the main tag 💀

RANT AHEAD !!

like don't get me wrong it's hilarious to see ppl run with the idea of lucifer being The Dom D*ddy in every situation imagineable but seeing him still be constantly reduced to nothing beyond that ever since the game came out makes me :/// (he's a dork!!! are we just going to ignore the antics he got up to in audio dramas n the anime???)

he might be the easiest example of this actually so lemme try talking about someone else who suffers at the hands of the om fandom like umm like satan

i don't know whether it's bcos the newer players don't actually bother to play thru the main story at all anymore or whether they're encouraged to think the way they do bcos of what they see becoming popular (i.e. certain headcanons, certain fics, etc.)

but satan has been made into this cold, sadistic, solely-defined-by-his-wrath caricature of what he actually is??? like??? i bet u anything it'll still be the same even after the scene we got in this current event where he was so incredibly upset at the mere possibility of having taken his anger out on mc while under the influence of the cursed mask (i literally wanted to reach thru the screen n give him a hug)

it boggles my mind to think that there are "satan enjoyers" who are running around with this idea n being like "hm yes that makes sense satan rly is a one-dimensional freak that'll snap at any lil ol' thing"

i would argue that he should be in fact the least likely to suffer from this out of all the brothers bcos if not due to how he is in the main story, then at least bcos of how he is in his devilgrams and the daily chats we get (he's anything but!!!!)

satan is an extremely likeable, very down-to-earth and incredibly sweet character (proper malewife material or whatever) who isn't afraid to be honest about his feelings particularly towards mc (his confession scene in season 1 still gets me to this day!!!), is also a dork (let me remind u that this is the same guy who earnestly learnt dance moves from levi so he could "properly enjoy the party" glowsticks n all) and looks out for his brothers a lot more than he lets on (going to wake belphie up cos he slept in again, going to buy more groceries after beel empties the fridge, going to ask mc for advice cos he wants to mend things with levi after an argument)

and it's a damn shame that i don't rly see more ppl writing about these sides to him!!! where is the satan that got extremely upset about a bunch of cats choosing to swarm around belphie instead of him!!! where is the satan that went to help asmo out after he got drunk n started crying bcos mc was leaving the devildom!!! where is the satan that despite all he feels, is able to separate himself from his sin entirely and focus his energy on books, research n finding new outlets!!!!! (the poor man rubbed his hands raw after discovering that cleaning was therapeautic for him!!!!!)

#sorry for going off anon omg #but this is smthin i've been thinking for like a rly long time lmao #and ofc all the characters suffer from this. being boxed in i mean #the injustice behind how ppl refer to asmo n write for him is damn infuriating #particularly when it's hidden behind a pathetic ''no offence'' or ''just my opinion'' that's followed by an immediate ''HE SUCKS''#n like ok we can argue that there isn't as much material for the undateables to go on compared to the brothers #but even then???? the snippets we do see r so so so interesting #again ik i'm taking an otome gacha game about dating literal demons way too srsly #but i hope i got my point across #asks.

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hootcifer · 3 years

Text

talking about toh | season two, episode eight: "knock knock knockin' on hooty's door"

holy shit

sorry this was a few days late, i was equal parts busy and lazy.

previous | first | next spoilers under the cut, as always

the beginning

awww hooty’s writing to lilith! like he promised!

btw, just so you guys know, i’ll be referring to hooty with he/they pronouns, because it makes sense to me. also i use he/they and i’m a hooty stan so it works.

I realize now that i spelled “hootsifer” wrong in my url. oh well, i like “hootcifer” better anyway. (also the url “hootsifer” is taken anyway)

oh no, hooty feels unimportant! i’m sure the large majority of the fandom is okay with this, but i’m not! poor thing.

i found it adorable that luz wants to find a way into amity's heart (even though she's had a place there since grom). how she would use the echo mouse for that, i don't know.

luz saying "we have to go" was almost a direct parallel to amity saying "I GOTTA GO" in "wing it like witches".

king's plot

i love how king is going through his angsty teen phase. that's hilarious.

why the fuck does hooty just eat people?! and then just act like that's an okay thing to do?!

i think it's a fun detail that hooty is wearing king's teacher hat from "the intruder". i love little things like that.

i like how this episode gave us some lore as to how demons on the isles work. they emerged from the muck of a decomposing titan? that's dope! it's also cool how there's three main types of demons.

hooty is a worm?!

on the board with all the bug demons, i recognized the butterfly alador kept chasing in "escaping expulsion", as well as adagast from "witches before wizards", the bear trap demon from "the intruder", and the kindergarten teacher from "i was a teenage abomination".

it was neat to see the fairy from "a lying witch and a warden" and the butterfly... thing from "witches before wizards". more neat continuity stuff!

what did king say with his dance? i'm very curious.

maybe king didn't want to talk about the cocoon, but i certainly do! what the hell happened?!

because of some of the images in the background when hooty was talking about demons, we can infer that some students of hexside are demons and not witches. i wonder if witches are more powerful than demons, or if they're on the same level.

other biped demons i recognize are the bounty hunter, tibbles, one of the pirates, warden wrath, and braxus.

i also saw a cat-person. are catgirls and catboys a thing on the isles?

i like how tiny nose and hooty are friends. somehow, it makes sense.

was tiny nose playing on a nintendo switch? that's cool.

we got to see even more past demons from the section about beasts, such as the ratworms, the echo mouse, the trash slug, the selikdomus, the slitherbeast, and the snaggleback.

has tiny nose's voice changed, or is that just me?

i'm really curious as to what the heck king is. is he a unique kind of demon? a hybrid, maybe?

i thought it was sweet that hooty and tiny nose tried to celebrate king for who he is, even though it just made him sad. they're trying.

eda's plot

hooty had a good point in wanting eda to sleep. sleep is important! says the guy who regularly stays up until at least midnight.

i completely understand hooty's fear of the owl beast. remember what happened last time?

the cookies hooty made were very cute. i loved that.

hey, the sleeping nettles are back! the same thing luz and hunter used a few episodes back to put kikimora's steed to sleep.

we got to see eda's dad! we know very little about him, but we did see him. also, did he look like nigel thornberry to anyone else? no? just me? okay then.

it broke my heart seeing raine and eda breaking up. it was neat that we got confirmation that they were together!

eda clearly regrets pushing raine away. poor thing.

who is the cloaked figure? i've seen a lot of theories that it's amity, but that makes no sense. i don't think she was even alive at this point. it could be odalia, though. that would be a cool twist.

the little owl beast was so cute. i want a plush of that.

HARPY EDA! holy shit, she's so cool. top tier character design.

luz (and amity)'s plot

you better bet your ass i have a lot to say about this! plot! okay, let's start from the beginning.

i was really hoping we would get some mutual pining lumity this season, and by god did it deliver! luz referring to her as a "cotton-candy-haired goddess" was too cute.

from what she said, it sounds like this isn't the first time luz has tried to ask someone out. she's so afraid of getting rejected. wait a minute, amity was afraid of getting rejected too! that's a parallel i didn't even realize!

i wasn't expecting to see amity this episode! it looks like her parents let her keep her purple hair. that, or the twins are using illusions to hide her hair from their parents.

i love how hooty's solution to getting amity to the owl house is to straight-up eat her. that's one way to do things.

i really want to know more about house demons. are there more than one? are they all bird-like? are they born as houses or do they just inhabit houses? so many questions and not enough lore!

the way luz interrupted amity when she suggested "forgetting" about what happened in front of blight manor reminded me of how eda kept interrupting king last episode when she thought he was going to tell her he was planning on leaving.

i'm not gonna lie, i skipped through the majority of the tunnel of love scene. that kind of thing gives me second-hand embarrassment like you wouldn't believe.

my heart shattered into pieces when amity said that the idea of her adting luz was stupid. she obviously doesn't believe it, but she's probably been trying to convince herself of it.

this part had me terrified that the lumity plot for the episode would end there. thank goodness it didn't, eh?

the ending

AAAAAAAAAAAA

okay, okay, let's start from when hooty freaks out for a third time, after the tunnel of love.

i thought it was funny how hooty ripped himself out of the door in order to run (?) away. at least we didn't have to hear all the sounds this time.

wait, "things always get weird when hooty's upset"? has this kind of thing happened before?

gosh, the part where king's voice powers saved luz and amity was so cool. i saw somewhere that the animator wanted to reflect the lesbian and bi flags and they did a great job.

eda encouraging luz to ask amity out was so cute. we stan a supportive mom, always.

and then comes the scene everyone's been talking about. oh my gosh, this was done so beautifully! it was equally awkward and cute, the way it should have been, and the fact that they both asked each other was perfect!

LOOK AT HOW HAPPY AMITY IS WHEN SHE SAYS YES!!! this is the happiest we have ever seen her, and it's adorable.

something i really love about this scene is the fact that they didn't say "i love you" or even kiss, like what seems to happen in a lot of confession scenes. they just held hands. it was probably one of the most realistic confession scenes i've ever seen. it kind of reminded me of when my gf and i got together.

oh yeah, that's right! they're officially together!!!!!!! FINALLY!!! i was not expecting anything that happened in this episode, but out of everything this one was the most surprising. holy SHIT! we have a canonically sapphic couple! in a disney cartoon! a disney cartoon!

honestly, i hope everyone has gained more respect for hooty after this. they've helped further the plot more in one episode than anyone else has done throughout the rest of the show.

we got to see king's dad properly for the first time! i don't think we'll see him in "eclipse lake", but maybe we will in the episode after that? i hope so.

everyone's freaking out about hooty eating the letter but... can't they just... throw it back up? like they did at the beginning of "really small problems"?

predictions

to my knowledge, the next episode is going to be about amity looking for an ingredient for the new portal. i also know that eda, king, and hunter will be there too. i don't know what to expect, but i am very excited. until next time!

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

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Idk if you addressed this already but: Fitz is an asshole.

I'm rereading the books and he is horrible to Sophie! He blamed her when Alden's mind broke, got really upset that Sophie wouldn't tell him that Oralie was her mom and broke up with her because of it... I might forgetting some things (I'm rereading really slow and am only at the beginning of Exile...) but that's most of what I remember

And he also chose to ignore when Sophie was calling for help when she was kidnapped so...

Also they're kind of weird? Sophie and Dex could've stayed at that cafe (where there a lot of people and they definitely wouldn't be attracted again) until she got her strength back to contact literally anyone or maybe wait until morning to look for that lantern?

I really liked the series when I first read it but now I'm noticing some weird stuff here...

i've definitely talked about Fitz before, but it's been a while so I don't remember what i've said either, nonsie! Also: apologies for the delay, got a little sidetracked with a few others things before getting to this ask

I will preface this by saying I have a more positive opinion of him, which will affect what I say. I do entirely respect your position and interpretation of his character despite having a different opinion of him. For me, it's less that Fitz is an asshole and more that he's a person and doesn't know what he's doing. He's not intentionally hurting the people around him and refusing to change--in Legacy he told Sophie that he was working on his anger and the way he reacted to things.

that's not to say that the way he treated Sophie was okay, blaming her for Alden's mind break and trying to get information from her she'd clearly stated she didn't want to share and had asked him to leave alone.

I will say for me that it feels almost unfair to judge Fitz's values based on frantic, chaotic decisions he did during one of the most emotionally challenging and turbulent times of his life. When Alden's mind broke he was devastated and it was a very low point in his life--same for Biana, although in a different way--so I like to also look at how he behaves when he's composed and rational.

I do entirely agree with you about his demanding of information about Sophie's mom being unfair an uncalled for. I can understand why he did it (i think i've talked about that before but if not I'd be happy to do so!), but just because it makes sense to me why he did it doesn't mean it was appropriate or right. Sophie made it very clear that was information she didn't want to share and he just kept pushing--those scenes were so uncomfortable to read because it was like he had this idea that the one piece of information she was keeping from him would fix everything and he was desperate to have it, idolizing it. it felt like for a moment he was prioritizing their relationship in the view of the public over her very real thoughts and feelings about it privately

also i think it's interesting that we as a fandom have two main "complaints" (unsure what else to call them) when it comes to Fitz: he got angry at sophie over something she couldn't control, and he often pushes/tests her boundaries. The first of which--the anger--had a major moment in the plot (alden's mind break) that he later went on to directly correct. The second--the thing with oralie and wanting information she didn't want to share--has happened but hadn't been resolved/learned from. We have another book(s) coming, so I wonder if he'll learn directly from their break-up and realize he's been testing Sophie's boundaries and address that directly too. he learns from his mistakes, so I would expect that this would be an opportunity for him to step back and figure out where he messed up here (not that he's the only one who's capable of wrongs).

but moving on! i will say ignoring her when she was presumed dead and had an entire funeral does feel more like he was grieving and thought he was imagining her voice over just being rude and ignoring her. everyone straight up thought she'd drowned and things like what happened to Sophie and Dex were unheard of until that point. i don't think it even crossed his mind that they could still be alive somewhere. Him ignoring her was also convenient for the plot because it left Sophie and Dex stranded, so it's possible that part was pushed a little more specifically so the later Neverseen interactions could happen.

also, you're completely right! there are so many different and smarter ways Sophie and Dex could've handled that situation, and it can be infuriating from a reader perspective--especially when you're someone like me who operates almost entirely on facts and logic and reasonble deductions--to see characters charge in almost blindly without taking stock of their situation. I think maybe things played out the way that they did specifically because sophie couldn't reach anyone, even if she'd been at her best. the only times she did manage to contact fitz were in pure desperation--while she was being tortured and while she was fading. otherwise she couldn't reach out--the transmission she sent out when on the bridge with the neverseen didn't actually get to anyone, it was only noted that it was really loud.

so as far as the two of them were concerned, they were completely on their own and no one would ever come for them, meaning they had to get back themselves. and they wanted to do that sooner rather than later. and that's how they ended up wandering paris by themselves--and their plan would've worked had the Neverseen not shown up and the most inconvenient time possible, which wasn't exactly something they could plan for in the same way

you brought up a lot of good points and topics on both fitz's character and the whole kidnapping situation, so thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it! I know i was a little biased going in with a slight fondness for Fitz--I don't idolize any of the characters but I do have neutral/positive thoughts about most of them--so it's really refreshing to hear another perspective. To clarify: i'm not trying to change your mind or tell you you're wrong in any way! you just inspired a few thoughts related to the topic and I wanted to talk about them. Hopefully I didn't sound dismissive or condescending in any way, as that was absolutely not my intention. But thank you for the ask!

#i know Fitz's character is kind of a hot topic at the moment #what with the disastrous end to the relationship that Sophie and Fitz haven't really talked out entirely and worked through #and there's more content coming #so i'm sure his development isn't over #but i tried to be respectful and just share some of my thoughts based on what you said!#don't know if i achieved that but that was my goal #fitz can make some shitty emotionally driven impulse decisions sometimes #but I do think he's more than that #if that makes sense #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #kotlc character analysis #quil's queries #nonsie #anonymous #long post #tw swearing

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piracytheorist · 2 years

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If I had the time I would re-watch a completionist gameplay of RE8, write down every demeaning commentary, every violent action and every injury the characters causes Ethan and every innocent villager so that every time someone tries to be snarky about Ethan being anything but an unfortunate person doing what he can for his daughter, I’ll just direct them to the document and let canon speak for itself

Lol! That would take a while, to be honest. But you know, for me it's enough that the Lords kept Ethan chained up and fought over who gets to torture him - at this point he doesn't even know for sure if they have Rose, and even without that the whole "trial" thing is so fucked up - and when Ethan "oh so horribly trespassed into Castle Dimitrescu, what a villain oh em gee", aka the house of the woman who openly said she will let her daughters siphon the blood out of him, that same woman watched with glee as said daughters strung Ethan up in one of the most painful ways possible.

Like, I'd probably try to fight back too if someone trespassed into my house holding a fucking gun, but I'm a mere 5'2'' mortal who can't even deliver a punch, let alone grab a grown man's head and smack him to the ground. I also wouldn't like the idea of keeping a baby's decapitated, crystallized head in a jar, but as we said Dimitrescu was too far gone to realize how fucked up that was. "How dare you talk about saving your daughter when you've murdered mine?!" Um excuse me did that six-month-old baby laugh while you were being tortured or try to kill you while you were trying to run away? Like, again, I understand her grief. Horrible human ("human"?), loving mother, layered and interesting villain, not necessarily redeemable.

Yeah, I get that Ethan was """""trespassing""""" with the other Lords (aside from Heisenberg who literally opened the doors for him, only the tea and moldy cookies were missing) but like, idk, if someone cannot grasp the fact that any caring parent can be capable of such stuff (which let's be honest it's mostly self defense - many players may turn into murder hobos while playing but Ethan himself never attacks anyone who isn't attacking (or directly threatening to) first (unless you count the animals but that's a discussion of vegan nature)) if their kid was in danger, then no matter how long and complete of a list one makes, nothing is going to convince them that Ethan is not the most horrible person iN thE HiSTOry of ResIDnET EviL!!11!!!

In any case, I may not have been in many fandoms, but I have seen how haters work. They do not listen to reason. I was once arguing with someone over a character's characterization, a character who appears only in the last season of a seven-season-long TV show, and they were obviously wrong about the facts and I was like "Did you even watch the last season" and they were like "I read recaps uwu". Like. This is how haters work. They do not care for the facts. I can assure you that some Ethan haters out there have only watched clips from Village, probably compilations on youtube that are like "all scenes/cutscenes/dialogue options of [character]" and again, I'll sound like a broken record but it's perfectly fine to focus on the parts you want to focus, the parts you enjoy the most etc and ignore anything you don't give a damn about. But going out there and trying to make a "statement" when you don't have all the facts... people will call you ridiculous and you will have that coming. So with that in mind, a list of all the times the Lords were horrible to Ethan (or the villagers) wouldn't prove anything to them, they probably wouldn't even bother to read it. Though in a whumpy interest, there is this very extensive list of all the shit Ethan goes through in both his games (including the stuff the Lords do to him). So as an advice, don't spend any time trying to convince haters. "Haters gonna hate" can also have a meaning like that. They're gonna hate and never listen, so it's like arguing with the wall.

#nette speaks #long post #fandom #Resident Evil #Resident Evil 8 #anonymous #ask and ye shall receive

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adragonhoardingstories · 4 years

Text

Of Blood and Bonds - Chapter 4

@mystery-5-5 @synnesstra @thesunanditsangel

@abrx2002 @clumsy-owl-4178 @daminett4life @zalladane

@heaven428 @unmaskedagain

@dawnwave16 @kris-pines04 @emeraldpuffguide @hypnosharkrebeldreamer

@weird-pale-blonde-person

@ravennightingaleandavatempus

@persephonebutkore

@be-happy-every-day-please @blue-peach14 @annabellabrookes

@jaynintodd @st0rmy-w1th1n @bluerosette23 @ladysblackcat @18-fandoms-unite-08

@vixen-uchiha @novicevoice @jessigurl-design @tinyterror333

@rebecarojas07 @sparkle9510 @magicalfirebird

@mewwitch @shamefullove

@ravennightingaleandavatempus

@sassydepression @caffeinetheory

@reyna-avila-ramirez-alreanaldo

@krispydefendorpolice @mermaidofthelost @zalladane @drarryismylife101 @ladybug-182 @northernbluetongue @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @iloontjeboontje @mjisntme

@dorkus-minimus @firesong323 @chocolatecatsthero @wargraymon0709 @bamagirlkrista

@moonlightstar64 @captain-lostkid @angelicbookfangirl @lunar-wolf-warrior @roseunivers999 @dur55 @emeraldpuffguide @evil-elf16 @crazylittlemunchkin @moonlightstar64 @semaalcocer-blog @skyel0ve

On that note, this book will contain swearing, mentions of rape and torture. I will try not be explicit but that's really relative. Read at your own risk. There will be warning before if I make a explicit scene so that you can skip it.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and don't hunt me down for this.

___________________________________

"Colin this is Marinette, my sister, Marinette this is Colin." Damian introduced the redhead who seemed a bit bewildered but he recovered quickly.

"Pleased to meet you ma'am. I didn't know that Damian had another sibling."

"Well neither did he before yesterday." Marinette laughed good-naturedly. "So you're his best friend."

"Yep!" Damian didn't refute the statement.

"So Miss Marinette where are you from?"

"Just Marinette is fine Colin."

"Bu-"

"Miss makes me feel old, you don't want that now, do you?" The boy looked scandalised. "I'm only about two years older than Damian anyways so if you want to call me by a nickname, that's fine too."

The boy grinned shyly. "Okay Marinette."

Damian looked distinctly surprised. "Well done, he still calls the others Mr, they are going to be annoyed by this development."

"Oh Damian." Marinette turned on her heels and winked at them, eyes full of mischief. "This is nothing. I got Alfred to call me by just my first name?"

Now, both boys looked very impressed but still disbelieving. "I'll believe it when I see it." The redhead claimed. Marinette laughed but said nothing more on the matter.

"So where are you bringing me?"

"The Gotham's Botanical Garden. I think you'll enjoy it. However, I must warn you to stay clear of anything that may anger Poison Ivy. "

She took it in stride. "Of course, I'll ask before I do anything."

"It'll be so fun. People don't talk about it because of Ivy but the gardens are so beautiful." Colin started ranting and Marinette hid a smile at the fond expression on her little brother's face. If one didn't know what to be looking for, they would miss it but Marinette had become very very attuned to emotions, especially after she gained the Miraculous and became Guardian.

"-attract so many different kinds of butterflies."

"Huh." Marinette mused. "It'll be nice seeing some actual butterflies and not akumas for once."

"You mentioned akumas before too." Damian interrupted. "What are they?"

She seemed a little surprised. "Do you - do you really have no idea of what's going on in Paris?"

Both of the boys shook their head. Even Colin looked curious now.

"It's pretty surreal but, when I was twelve, this guy surfaced. He calls himself Hawkmoth. He sends out these magic butterflies called akumas to anyone who's experiencing any negative emotion to possess them. He makes a deal with the victims to give them powers for them to be able to take revenge upon whatever wrong happened to them and return he asks for the Miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir."

"Who?" Colin interrupted and Marinette blinked. She had sounded so...old, so burdened as she spoke - so different from the bubbly macaroon making girl that Damian had learnt to know.

"Right, context. After his first akuma, two heroes surfaced in Paris too. They're powered by the Miraculous too. Hawkmoth wants Ladybug's earrings and Chat Noir's ring. No one knows why exactly and well we're not interested to find out. More power in that madman's hands can only cause harm."

"You mean to say." Damian's voice was flat. "That there has been a sociopathic terrorist in Paris for five years and no one knows of it. Why didn't the mayor call for the Justice League?"

Marinette's face darkened. It almost made both if the boys shudder and take a step back.

"Oh but we did. More than once, more than ten times in fact. We only stopped whenthe Leaguers asked us to stop wasting their time with pranks."

"What?" Damian exploded. "They just disregarded all the damage that must have been caused, all the phone calls. They didn't even look into it."

Marinette placed a hand in his shoulder, urging her aura to seek his and calm him down. "The thing is one of Ladybug's powers is the Miraculous Cure. It fixes all the damage caused in the midst of battle."

"All the damage?" Even Damian didn't seem to believe it at that point.

"I know it seems too good to be true." She fished out her phone and tried to look for a video. "And we understood that but everyone in Paris is pissed that they didn't even bother come verify our so called claims. I mean for God's sake, they have aliens, shapeshifters, magicians and even guys who are themselves powered by magical jewelry if I'm not wrong."

Marinette huffed as she found a video. It was one of the first ones from the Ladyblog, when Alya was still a reliable reporter. She played the video. It was of The Mime and it showed how he cut the Eiffel Tower in two as well as the Miraculous Cure taking effect.

The boys especially Damian seemed horrified and Marinette felt a little of guilt for subjecting them to that.

But then Damian looked up at her and his lazarus green eyes of reminded her that he probably had seen worse.

"That's…" He didn't seemed to know what to say.

"Terrifying." Colin said. "Are they all really that strong?" Marinette winced, debating whether to tell them the truth of not.

Damian seemed to sense that. "You can tell us." He prompted and she sighed, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

"That's actually one of the tamer villians." She admitted. "The Mime appeared during the first year of Hawkmoth's reign of terror. One of the worst akumas back then that come to mind is Syren. She flooded the entirety of Paris, about three quarter of the population died and were brought back by the cure." She took another look at them and decided that she wasn't going to be the cause of their further trauma.

"Hey, this is it, right?" She promptly changed the subject, knowing very well that she hadn't been subtle at all. "Gotham Botanical Gardens." She beamed down at them.

"Wow, it's beautiful." She took a moment to appreciate the sight. "Hey you're right, there's a lot of butterflies. Can we go there first?" She was basically bouncing as she turned to look at her brother and his best friend.

Colin looked gleeful while Damian seemed just amused. "You act like a child." Her brother informed her. She stuck out her tongue at him. "And you speak like an old man but you don't see me complaining."

"Fair enough." He chuckled. "What are you waiting for? Let's go then."

He couldn't help the full-blown smile appearing on his face as both his sister and his best friend literally ran to the butterflies and started gushing together.

He started to make his way to them when someone appeared in front of him blocking his view. His usual scowl and glare were back on his face when he looked up. The boy seemed to recoil slightly at his look but it didn't deter him more that that.

"I don't know who you are." His tone clearly gave away that he felt like he was the one in power here. Damian cursed the time when he used to act like that. He had learnt that lesson the hard way - had learnt not to underestimate an enemy. "But you're gonna stay away from my princess. She doesn't need children like you around."

Damian took a second to analyze him. Blond Hair. Green eyes. He remembered reading those as Marinette's triggers during his research. He had to clench his fists to stop himself from reaching out to his weapons.

"She can decide that for himself." He said instead and went to walk around him but the boy grabbed his shoulder.

The next thing he knew he was standing behind his sister. "Adrien." She cut in smoothly. "I didn't expect to see you here, especially not without your bodyguard." Damian could see that she was tense, her back muscles were coiled as if she was ready for a fight.

"Princess." He was beaming. "I snuck out." He said almost proudly. "We need to talk."

"Gotham isn't Paris." Her words seemed more like a warning rather than the facts they were which the blond idiot obviously didn't catch on. "And I want nothing to do with you, haven't for three years. I owe you nothing. Give up."

That was a clear dismissal if Damian knew one. "Princess you need to listen to me-" He reached out to grab her hand but was cut off.

The younger boy had seen her lurking but she hadn't seemed a threat so he didn't know whether he was thankful or not that she had jumped in.

Ivy spoke "The girl asked you to go away." Thankful, he finally decided.

The boy looked a little nervous - so he did have some braincells. "Ma'am, respectfully, this does not concern you." Well not enough it seemed.

"Oh well, respectfully." Her plants towered behind them. "I don't give a damn. Stay away from them."

The plants grabbed him and threw him just outside the park boundaries. It seemed a little tame for the likes of Ivy but then again she always did go softer for children even if they were brats.

Damian watched as the boy scrambled back to his feet and glared in their direction before he stomped off.

"Damian." His sister was clearly fretting over him, he would never admit it but it felt good, he felt loved. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"I'm alright, I'm alright. I told you, I can take care of myself."

She smiled, soft and relieved. "I don't doubt it but promise me if you see either him or Lila from yesterday, you need go the other way."

"Why?" He frowned. He had a doubt on blondie but what about that Lila girl?

"And by Lila, do you mean the sausage haired girl?"

His sister cracked a grin at that thought she was still serious. "Yeah her."

"Why?" He repeated and she became grim at once. "Because he's sick in the head and she's a psychopath so please, promise me." She met his eyes and really, faced to that did Damian have any other choice but to accept?

She beamed at him as Colin approached them. "That was so cool. Are you okay Dames?" He turned to talk to his best friend and gave him a once over before nodding.

"Thank you for stepping in." He heard his sister and turned around. Ivy may be one of the villains-turned-anti-hero but it didn't mean that people didn't need to be wary around her. What was Marinette thinking?

"Boys like him need to be taught a lesson before it's too late." Damian's mind immediately went to Harley's and Joker's relationship.

"I don't think a lesson would do him any kind of good at this point but thank you."

It was very apparent that her words made Ivy re-evaluate her.

The woman gave a nod. "Don't mention it." She said nothing else but didn't move away.

Marinette smiled. "By the way, I love that flower in your hair. That's a lily right?"

"Yes." She said slowly but the spark in her eye showed that she was now interested. "You know flowers?"

"I have a garden of my own." Marinette revealed. "I tried growing some lilies but they're no where as beautiful as this one." Marinette fished for her phone again and started showing her images. The older woman didn't say anything but Damian could see that she was interested and she seemed almost pleased.

Deeming it safe for now, he slowly turned to Colin who was staring at the scene with amazement.

"Colin." His friend turned to him wide-eyed, "Your sister is amazing."

He couldn't help but feel smug at the words. "Obviously." He said but then lowered his voice. "Tell me, how did she get to me so fast when she was watching butterflies with you."

Colin sobered up at that. "She was talking to me when suddenly she just snapped her head up to look at you. I think that's when the boy came. She told me to stay there and started walking towards you. The thing is when the guy touched you, she was about half-way there, I didn't register but the next thing I knew she was standing between you and the blond." He shook his head. "There's something about her…it's not necessarily bad but she's just...different…special."

"I know what you mean." Damian agreed.

"-and then she spoke with Poison Ivy for one hour straight about plants and gardening. Ivy even gave us a personal tour of the botanical gardens."

"Seriously? She usually takes forever to warm up to someone especially if the other sirens aren't with her."

"Marinette seems to be the exception." The youngest Wayne said as he but into another macaroon. Once again, he had been ambushed on his return home - this time however, it was only his brothers and that had demanded he tell them all about her.

His felt his phone vibrate and knew it was the message he was awaiting. "She's busy during the day." He informed his brothers. "But she invited us for dinner."

His brothers looked at each other and grinned. Tommorow looked promising.

#maribat #platonic daminette #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #damian wayne #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #torture #mentions of rape #bamf marinette #badass marinette #bruce tries to be a good dad but he doesn't always succeed #lila salt #adrien salt

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handonhaven · 3 years

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Sometimes this fandom really scares me. Just when I think I saw everything I find out that I was wrong. Like I just saw someone say that the writers are homophobic for putting Josie and Finch together. I'm sorry but do they not know what homophobic means? Or is it only homophobic because it's not your ship. I swear each week H*sies get worse and worse. I'm so tried of seeing stuff like "I can't wait to see Hope be jealous of Finch" "notice how hoises have actually romantic content going on" "why are they trying to force Josie and Finch on us they have no chemistry" " I don't know people keep saying we bully people we don't. We just want Hosie to happen." And so on.

Hopes not going to be jealous of Finch because she has no feelings for Josie. Just like Josie has no feelings Hope. I mean even Josie said Hope is just her friend. I actually thought that would help them calm down. Boy was I wrong.

Two nothing that happens between Hope and Josie is anything romantic about it. So they have they're moments but that's nothing but friendship there. That's all.

Three they're not forcing anything. There was a bit of a build up for Finch and Josie. And there is chemistry there. I think they're just choosing not to see it. Plus before they casted the person who plays Finch you know they did a chemistry read. They only they being force is H*sies trying to make their ship happen.

Three okay that one just made me laugh. Like each week they get worse and worse. And now that whole homophobic thing. They're really grasping at dust here. And they did ever stop to think why Hope and Josie only had 2-3 actually scenes this season so far. We're over half way through the season. The writers did that for a reason. And I just like to point out there was an interview say that Hope and Landon are going to grow closer and stronger this season. So I still have hope for Handon and that they will get through this very very ruff path.

BTW I love your blog/gifs and all your thoughts ❤❤

Same, this fandom scares me most of the time tbh haha. Oh yes, I’ve seen a lot of hatred towards that ship now, but wow. That does not make any sense whatsoever, they must really not know what homophobic means. Or, exactly, it’s literally just because Josie is with someone other than Hope. Right? They still somehow manage to surprise me with the awful things they say, I’ve really never seen anything like it. Ugh, I know. I’ve seen comments like that too. At least they’ve made it perfectly clear that they will hate and attack anything that stands in the way of their ship, Handon/Landon or not. Good for the writers to know, since they’ve responded so well to how these fans have behaved. 🙄

Yeah, Hope is not gonna be jealous of Finch because why would she be? She’s with Landon, has not wanted to be with anyone but Landon for all this time, has had feelings for only him since she was 15, and exactly, has no feelings for Josie. And Josie obviously only has feelings for Finch, and that’s been a major part of her storyline all season. And yes, the writers have repeatedly had Hope and Josie specifically call each other their friend, but these fans still aren’t getting the message.

And I have no idea where they’re getting that from, because there’s absolutely nothing romantic going on between Hope and Josie. I guess you can see what you want to see if you try hard enough and have the ability to twist everything and blow the tiniest details out of proportion. But it is just friendship between them, which has been confirmed on the show.

I agree, I don’t think they’re forcing Josie and Finch. I mean, I’ll admit, it did kinda feel forced to me at first because it seemed like they were gonna put Josie into a new relationship pretty quickly. But they went about it differently than I expected and it actually has had build up. And maybe they did decide to give Josie a new love interest as part of their efforts to shut H*sie down, idk. But whether or not they did, they’ve given their relationship depth and development and it’s not forced. And true, I’m sure they did do a chemistry read. Yeah, if anything is forced, it’s the way those fans try to make everything about their ship, as if it would make any sense for it to happen in the show.

But they honestly think they don’t bully people? Like I know there are some okay H*sie fans out there, and I know there are some nice multishippers as well. But a large majority of them, from what I’ve seen, are terrible. They’ve spread so much hatred, have bullied so many other fans, have attacked Aria, and I’ve seen that they’re starting to hate on the actress who plays Finch too. They really do just get worse all the time. And yes, they’re grasping more now than ever before because there has been hardly any Hope and Josie content all season. Exactly, can they not see that the writers are clearly not happy with them and are trying to get them calm down? Yeah, there are only 8 episodes left and Hope and Josie have only interacted in 2 episodes so far. And now that Landon is back and gonna need help recovering, I can’t imagine Hope is gonna suddenly be spending a bunch of time with Josie when she didn’t even when she thought the real Landon was with her and everything was okay.

And yes! I saw that interview too, so I hope we’ll get to see that for the rest of the season! It would make sense for what they’re going through now to make them closer and stronger. So I have hope for them as well! And wow thank you so much!! 🥺 That’s so kind of you, I appreciate it!! ❤️❤️

#answered #spoilers

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verobatto · 4 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LIX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Cain's mark vs Profound Bond (Part II)

(10x18/10x19)

Hello my friends! I had to part this meta in three, this is the second part because... Is the nucleus of season 10.

The following episodes are talking about how Dean fights inside of him between what he desires vs his monster.

The Universe Against Destiel

When episode 10x18 "Book of the Condemned" starts, we have Cas and Metatron in the car, Alanis Morissette's Song Ironic playing, and Cas turning the music off.

Just pay attention to Metatron's observations...

METATRON: Really? That song is a classic. Yeah I hear you. I do. And you’re right. Inclement weather on the day of your nuptials and the wrong cutlery at inopportune times is hardly ironic.

This are facts that could ruin a perfect wedding. Just like the storm that is about to come between Dean and Cas.

Now... I want you to recall 13x23... Just for a bit.

Gif credit @aborddelimpala

Gif set credit @elizabethbertajohns

Okay... Now... In episode 10x18 we had almost the same words coming from Dean...

DEAN: We’re due for a win, okay? Overdue. I’ll tell you another thing, if this actually does work, we’re gonna take some time off.

SAM: What, like a vacation?

DEAN: Mm-hmm. And I’m not talking just like a weekend in Vegas or sitting in some crap motel watching pay-per-porn. No, I’m talking about a beach. Drinking cervezas, go for a swim, mingle with the local wildlife. When was the last time either one of us was on a beach?

SAM: Never.

DEAN: Sand between our toes, Sammy. Sand between our toes

Both situations were showing one Dean having hopes in solve their situation, in season 10 he thought he had found the way to erase the mark and in season 13, with Jack and everyone back at home, dreaming about a perfect world.

And is not coincidence this appreciation came after his confession in that Church. We are exploring Dean's desires, what Dean really wants. A path we will walk with him through the following seasons.

Dean is the most important mission for Cas

This are not new ideas, but ... Castiel and Metatron dialogue showed us how important Dean is for Castiel.

His reaction and his disgust towards Metatron is evident.

METATRON:What? I thought we were having a moment. Can’t we be besties?

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

CASTIEL: No. Because you killed my friend.

Metatron is there too to make Cas face himself. Throwing at him questions like WHO ARE YOU?

When Castiel finds his grace back, the quote he has to decipher it has to do with him, and with Dean too.

What’s the maddest thing a man can do? Let himself die.

To give up. That's the maddest thing.

Laughing at last

The episode was full of red colors, announcing the big storm that is about to come.

But this episode had a sad and beautiful scene when Charlie meets Castiel.

As a fan, in representation of all the fandom, Charlie asks Castiel if he can heal Dean. Save him from his mark. Which Cas answers sadly NO.

So, okay, he won't cure Dean from the curse. It will be Sam. Why? Because he didn't burn the book.

When Dean arrived Cas is so cute and flustered that scene is gold, and then this one here under the inquisitive and attentive Charlie's (fandom's) eyes.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

What is even that bow? Is the cutest, shy, dummy thing, he was caught by surprise by his crush! I can't. Let me die here...

But let's talk about that night...

Gifs by @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs and @bellamy-octavia

Charlie, the little sister Dean never asked for, is the one creating hilarious situations with Cas. They're playing a children game you play to know about secrets like secret love. And that's so playful than even Dean with his last hopes destroyed, can enjoy. Laughing... At last.

Foreshadowing the Darkness

Just a short couple of comments about episode 10x19 "The Weather Project".

The mysterious MoL box in that house had a curse that possessed an entire family, it was some dark power that made people go crazy and suicidal. Some darkness taking control of people, just like will happen in season 11, first episodes.

Why Dean came back to Purgatory in his head? Because in Purgatory everything was clear. Purgatory is the same as cleaning guilts. So... It was the perfect place for him to be in that moment. He needed purity in his heart again.

To Conclude:

We are close to the storm, Cain's mark is about to win Dean's will, and the Universe could be against Destiel again.

The constant in these episode is an inner war between Cain's mark and Dean's truly desires.

The apparition of Charlie like the fresh air for Dean is the reason why it will destroy Dean to watch her dead, releasing the monster he was trying to repress.

I hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle

If you want to be added or removed to this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous s10 metas, Here you have the links:

Vol. LI, LII, LIII, LIV, LV, LVI, LVII, LVIII.

Buenos Aires, April 28th 2020 7:09 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 10 meta #vol LIX

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elmidol · 4 years

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PSA: Being Damaged Doesn’t Excuse Hurting Others

For the longest time I said nothing at all in regards to the harassment and stalking I received by an author I met in person. To my knowledge they have left the fandom, however maybe they just changed their penname. Seeing the post by @wayward-rose and the rest who were wronged by Mrs. Z and the reactions from others who have been uncomfortable with her behavior, it sort of made me reevaluate things. Not only the behavior of the author who wronged me, but my own actions subsequent to this. The excuse given by Mrs. Z in regards to multiple hate asks and such have led to her reactions… I get it but I do not condone it. For so long I did not name the author save to a few friends. Some know the author’s name solely because I have since admitted that it was the former co-author of the “This Isn’t In My Programming” fic that was discontinued. I’ve been asked even recently for the author’s name as well as what exactly happened.

This may be long-winded, I don’t know. I am not excusing negative behavior from my end on here that I will be disclosing. This is, in a way, something I should have spoken about much sooner. When certain readers at the time could tell there was an extreme difference in my attitude. Where I became very intolerant of some things. This is how I was not completely the victim, but at times the one in the wrong. And it is due to my experience that I can understand some of Mrs. Z’s bitterness but not her acceptance of it and the argument that she is in the right. This is not making it about me either. This is at last coming forward after having been asked to do so for close to two years.

The author, MeganD1, and I met in person a few times. We had connected over instagram, and after she learned we lived in neighboring states she had said it would be cool to meet. I agreed but was not quite ready. She persisted. Pushed. I agreed. Upon agreeing, she had posted on her fandom instagram that she was meeting me along with the location of where I lived. I told her I was NOT okay with that. She deleted, apologized, but also said she did not know why it was a big deal. I let that slide since she had deleted it. During that first meeting, we had a great time. I told her how one of my favorite Lucasfilm artists, Eric Maell, had reached out to me one time when I was going through a very rough period. It had meant the world. I told Megan of my dream to meet him one day at a convention. She hadn’t known the artists aside from one piece he had done. She had had no interest in him.

While together, we went shopping at a mall and talked. She did admit to contacting me to begin with because I had been one of the bigger author names for Kylo/Reader and Hux/Reader fics at the time. She also admitted to talking shit about me with another author. And I regret not listening to those warning bells. Megan and I discussed triggers and tropes in fanfics (which we did again on our second meeting). We had fun.

The second time she visited, I had invited her and she stayed a few days at my house. We again went shopping and also sat down at a restaurant to talk. I opened up about my sexual assault to her. It was the first time I had spoken about details to someone in person like that. I kept having to look away from her face. I felt ashamed. I was shaking a bit. Trying to not panic. I thought it was a relief, believed she was understanding.

We went to my house afterwards. On the way, Megan told me some plans she had for a fic of hers that she was writing and I was reading. I mentioned having triggers with those issues. So she elaborated on it, explained it differently. There was 0 way I'd have known that it was going to trigger me as it did. I'd NEVER been triggered like that. this was after she had gone back home. That’s what I’ll touch upon in a minute. We watched The Office together. Pitched the idea to co-write a story, and that is how This Isn’t In My Programming was born. Side note that during her visiting, I have endometriosis so have issues with that. I was doubled over the entire time but learned later it was due to having colitis; she did not help at all, so I essentially took out all her trash, took all her dishes, had to cook for her..which some of this is fine. I'm willing to do it. But being literally doubled over....it was a sore thing that I didn't address with her until later

Fast forward to her returning home, writing the chapter, and posting it. Okay so I was triggered by the scene, privately told her on chat in instagram that she needed to include a trigger warning because it was a pretty intense scene and also told her that I couldn't read the fic anymore. Which I didn't think was an issue since she had stopped reading mine for similar reasons or else because she just didn't like them. She reacted by posting an a/n on her fic stating how she never meant to offend anyone, how she should give up writing. She didn't mention my name but basically got a ton of the readers to shittalk me for being triggered. It was one of the most hurtful and fucked up things for me. To read those comments from people who read my fics, who chatted with me. Talking about me like that; and me wondering if they would still believe that if they knew all the details. So here is where some bitterness and resentment started in me. Why some of my notes became venomous and hard.

It was not okay for me to say certain things, to bash others. It was hypocritical. So this is where I understand Mrs. Z when she says that about the hate comments. But we’re adults and should take that step back. I regret many of the things I said. Which, again, I will get to in a bit.

Megan posted on her fandom ig and personal ig how she was going to delete her ig. Told me in chat how she was going to give up writing. Where I was begging her to not, telling her I did love her writing, I just couldn't read this specific fic. Mind you, during the panic attack I was in the bathroom on the floor with a towel shoved into my mouth and screaming and crying. Struggling to breathe. I had my phone with me and was chatting with Juulna between breaths when I could. She was trying to help me calm, to get me through it. I didn’t share that with Megan because I had not wanted her to feel so bad. I did not give her the details of my panic attack, but she still reacted so severely.

When she calmed down, I tried to get her to understand why that had hurt me. She couldn't understand so I said that we should end communications. She said she was open to discussing things if I felt differently. So I thought on it and wrote up an email explaining how she had hurt me and also my part in having let a few emotions fester such as not addressing her behavior when I was doubled over in pain. I am going to show the email. There is a name of another author that will be omitted. First I have to speak of another thing, how MeganD1 would tell me in chat how she wished she had endometriosis or something else to better understand others. I did not know at the time that she was asking Juulna for information on my health conditions and playing it off as someone else. This Juulna and I pieced together after the post-stalking fic got put on ao3 by putting together portions of conversation with keywords/phrases/situations. So this alone was a violation to me. Especially with how open I am about my conditions because I want to spread awareness. I’m mentioning this behavior since it is addressed in the email.

She countered by saying she could never put herself in my shoes for being triggered because she is an only child, doesn't have to "wait to buy things when they're on sale" (due to my medical conditions, I live with my parents and can't hold a job). Threw my family dynamics at me. Then started to go through how she was bullied since a young age. And it isn't like I didn't empathize. I thanked her for being honest with me. I’m going to show a small portion here that does not include her personal information or anything like that.

So a disclaimer that the only people I have directly told I cannot continue reading their fic are friends with whom I chat with off of ao3 and largely due to them asking me what I think of the latest chapter. Otherwise I wouldn’t say a thing. They, likewise, have done the same with me. I thought it was so we could respect boundaries/triggers and support one another with other fics we could read. Cheering them on with those we can’t. I have worked on this since everything happened. I’m not perfect. Back to the issue...

After this email and taking time to digest it, I restated my position that we were parting ways.

Not long later I went onto the Kylo/Reader page and a summary of a new fic caught my eye. That was my hometown. That was not a Star Wars planet being named. Those tags were all my triggers and some of them were things she had openly bashed to my face. I had another panic attack, this one where I called up Juulna to talk in with voice. She couldn’t even understand me.Nor could my mother, who had heard me from downstairs and came up to check on me. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop feeling so violated and like the biggest fucking idiot for ever trusting her. I opened the fic because I was in doubt. But it was there. Details that others wouldn’t catch but that I did. She has since deleted the fic and even admitted that she did it to spite me. But this was the fic that changed so much. That made it to where I could not go onto the Kylo/Reader page for years.

This was the fic that prompted me to make a note on instagram a few times bashing people who romanticize rape and other triggering content. Where I stated if someone read those fics they were disgusting and I didn’t want them near me. So can I understand Mrs. Z being harsh? I fucking can, but it does not make it right just like my notes were not right and I deleted them. I reached out to a few people and apologized for them too.

This is the fic where when @kylosbrickhousebody mentioned I inspired them with Three Blind Tooke to write Mercurial...this is the fic that made me think it was a sick joke that they mentioned me. Why I thought it was malicious. I hadn’t known her, and I did apologize to her for my accusations. She understood where I was coming from when I told her why I thought that. Understood but equally held me accountable for my reaction. That I lashed out instead of coming to her. Because, at the end of the day, I AM accountable for MY actions. Even if we can empathize with them, it does NOT make them right.

I’ve been asked why I didn’t report the fic by MeganD1 to ao3. I was fucking terrified. I was scared to admit that this was me, that that was my home. I was scared they wouldn’t believe me. I was dealing with my sexual assault, dealing with the fact that I was in denial over it in part because I’d been told to “get over it”. Dealing with the colitis and an impending hysterectomy. My Grammy’s recently diagnosed breast cancer. I was so broken down with hurt and fear. I just watched the comments and kudos roll in for a fic that violated me to the core. I let the resentment build. And how was that fair to any of the individuals who would have avoided it if they had known what the fuck it was about?

While she was updating the fic, MeganD1 was also cyberstalking me on instagram, possibly tumblr as well. I privated my personal account from her. My fandom account I knew she was stalking with hers because she accidentally liked then unliked things. She had multiple accounts. Then she would view my story posts. I am guilty of checking on her fandom account once or twice, and she had made vague references to me in her captions. I deleted that fandom account. Made a new one. Followed my favorite Lucasfilm artist. Suddenly she was commenting on his posts. Talking about how much fun she had meeting him at a convention. My fucking dream that she stole with an artist she didn’t care about until I had mentioned him. I’ve never been able to go onto his page since. She found me though. Found that new account...so after months of not being stalked it started up. I deleted that fandom account. I stopped participating much at all.

The point is that throughout all of this, I was still and am still accountable for my own actions, for how I respond to others. I still get hate comments on fics. Do i want to lash out? Yeah. But I don’t. Sometimes I can take that step back and just ignore it. Other times I reach out to a friend for advice. Because no matter what, no matter just how bad things are, there are behaviors that are absolutely inexcusable. It doesn’t matter how hurt or broken we are. Saying something that hurts and possibly breaks someone else doesn’t fix anything. It creates more chaos. And I know that I hurt some readers I no longer interact with. Some who didn’t and don’t know any of this behind the scenes stuff. My hurt, however, does not justify hurting them.

So with the bravery of @wayward-rose and @callmehopeless and so many others, and with those who reached out and asked to hear what happened to me... I’m answering what happened to the best of my ability. While also, I hope, showing that those who empathize with Mrs. Z, it’s not bad to work to understand her hurt at times when she receives shit in her inbox. But that cannot and should not ever justify her hurting others. Especially when she then sits back and is PROUD of doing that.

#just thoughts #this is the story #fandom discourse

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