#and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community
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𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆
this is my first astro observations post, so please be kind!
shout out to @faiirina and @cloudwaeve for helping me to develop some of these theories 💛
⟡ this might have been stated before, but the degree your sun sign is at could be the age at which you start to connect with it or the traits associated with it
for example, i have sagittarius sun at 19°. at nineteen years old, i went away from home on my own for the first time (travel). i also expanded my learning by going to college, and i delved deeper into spirituality.
⟡ taurus rules over the ears and second house, so it’s only natural placements relating to it could explain our hearing! your second house sign could explain how or why you like to listen to music.
i have virgo in the 2H and noticed that i like to listen to music with headphones because i can hear the intricacies of the instruments and harmonies better.
cancer 2H — likes listening to music that coincides with their emotions. might be more reserved when sharing their music tastes
scorpio 2H — could listen to indie/underground music. might like to listen to songs on low volume. the type to eavesdrop of conversations while listening.
aries 2H — prefers listening to their music over a speaker. the type to have a workout or hype playlist.
⟡ the planet right before your sun sign is called your guiding planet. this planet could explain what’s important to you in life or what “guides” you as a person.
i have pluto as my guiding planet and have always been fascinated by the idea of transformations. i look to transform myself regularly whether it’s through looks or even spiritually! i’m always searching for ways to become a better version of myself through this.
i may do a longer post explaining the effects of one’s guiding planet 👀
⟡ this isn’t inherently astrology related, but for every person i’ve asked - their favorite number and the number of letters they have in their name tends to line up
my favorite number is 3 — i have only 3 letters in my first and middle name
person two’s favorite number is 4 — their name has only 4 letters
person three’s favorite number is 16 - their first and last name adds up to 16
i’ve also discovered that this number tends to somewhat align with one’s north node or explain one’s life purpose or where in life you need to learn to deal with something.
again, my favorite number is 3, but my north node is in gemini in the 11H. the 3H deals with communication and according to my north node, i’m supposed to learn how to use my voice to both stand out in my uniqueness but also conform with society in order to speak for the collective.
⟡ the twelfth house governs what’s hidden - like emotions and beings without a physical form, so the sign in your twelfth house could explain how easy or difficult it is for you to pick up on energies.
i have cancer in my 12H along with jupiter, so it’s very easy for me to pick up on different energies; in fact, sometimes i attract different energies to my own without even knowing about it!
leo 12H — you may be more confident in when you pick up energies, so in a way it could be easier for you, but in a different way than for water signs. different energies may find it easy to speak with you or be around you
pisces 12H - this sign might find it the easiest ot pick up on different energies because it’s at home! you may pass your own energy onto others without knowing it. people may want to feed off your energy because of how intoxicating it might be - this could extend to scoprio 12H too
sagittarius 12H - you might have to actively search out energies when it comes to pick up on them, or maybe you just like to. they don’t really come to you naturally like with pisces.
⟡ i noticed aquarius suns tend to have intoxicating smiles.
think about it! yang jeongin from stray kids, hobi from bts, megan thee stallion, and j.cole. both jeongin and hobi have smiles that show throughout their whole face. megan thee stallion has had people talk about her smile all the time - it’s wide and stands out. j. cole literally has a song named “crooked smile” and although his smile doesn’t fit the societal standard of what considered “nice” it’s still unique to him.
⟡ arabic lots are so much more than just your part of fortune
there’s actually a whole list of lots that can be calculated through various combinations. i think i’ll do a post on this later on, but some of the most interesting lots i saw were:
Anareta I and II - Taker of Life, Ancestors, Expected Birth, Boys (Sons), Girls (Daughters), Fortune in Husbandry, Influence, Karma, Lawsuits
again, there’s a ton more, but i don’t think they’re talked about much (at least not on here), so i’d like to learn more about them!
⟡ the third house deals with transportation, so the sign in your third house could represent how you are when traveling
i have libra in the 3H, and i tend to be laid back when it comes to the actual process of traveling. i wear hoodies and sweats, and i’m very low maintenance when going on a road trip or going on planes.
sagittarius 3H — the type to be like an excited puppy. is rushing everyone because of how excited they are. might be more inclined to ask others where they’re traveling as they sit and wait
capricorn 3H — might be a little more stuffy when it comes to traveling. keeps a tight schedule when leaving and going. could prefer to where business wear when traveling because that’s comfortable for them lol
leo 3H - not completely laksidisical, but also is to an extent. focused on making sure their outfit is perfect (you never know who you could meet on a plane, ya know?) may have everyone wait for them because they need to be sure they packed EVERYTHING
⟡ going back to arabic lots, there’s one called Spirit that i think better explains your own spirit as a person (like your personality and how you view life) rather than the actual asteroid Spirit, which i interpreted more so as your guides.
⟡ asteroid Aglaja (47) is named after one of the Greek charities - she rules over beauty splendor, glory, and magnificence. as a result, the asteroid could explain where you can find glory or explain your financial success during life
sagittarius — in another country/place different from your home town; could be lucky when it comes to finances; might even win the lottery
virgo — in a place of service, like a community center or non-profit organization; will indulge in the finer side of life - a focus on the arts
aries — in a leadership position or cut-throat industry; you may make and spend money quickly - likely water flowing through your hands
⟡ asteroid Kalliope (22) is named after another muse - one ruling over eloquence and epic poetry. this asteroid could give more insight into how you sound or how you use your words. look for aspects to mercury for even more information!
cancer — utilizing emotion to get your point across; could be more passive when speaking; people may find it hard to hear you
libra — again, could be more passive; tries to make everything agreeable; tries to uplift others; a firm and encouraging voice
scoprio — could be less inclined to talk, but people listen when you do; you use your words to offer insight or point out something important
⟡ in my opinion, where saturn is in your chart could be an area of life where it takes time for you to grow into
gemini / 3H — it takes time for you to learn how to communicate your thoughts well. if in the 3H, depending on the sign, you could be introverted and find it hard to speak or you’re too quick of a speaker. you could even have a speech impediment. with gemini, it’s dependent upon the house, but you could be in your head too much when it comes to what you say or you tend to rub people the wrong way with your words.
capricorn / 10H — it takes time for you to grow into your reputation or work life. in the 10H, you may find it hard to get promoted. in capricorn, you could find it hard to not be so work-oriented in every aspect of your life; it could be hard for you to just go with the flow.
aquarius / 11H — it takes time for you to learn to fit in with the collective. in the 11H, it could be hard for you to make friends, or you could fond it difficult to see how your life will pan out in the future. in aquarius, you could find it hard to connect with others and also see the uniqueness you possess.
⟡ where venus, taurus, and virgo are in your chart could explain what aesthetics you’re into. so can the signs in your second and sixth house
⟡ having too much of one element in your chart can actually start giving you the opposite effects if it’s not balanced out enough
you could view this literally in that having too much of anything could always turn out to be “wrong”. too much water leads to flooding, too much fire leads to wildfires, and so on and so forth.
in this same way, having too much water in your chart could lead you to be more confident or maybe less in tune with your intuition.
too much fire could lead you to be more quiet and in your head.
too much earth could make you live with your heads in the clouds and less practical.
too much air can lead you to be concrete in your actions and thoughts.
⟡ both leo and pisces give off little kid energy but in different ways
leo represents the little kid that has a ton of energy and wants to play all day. the kid who plays out all their fantasies and acts as their own hero.
pisces represents the quieter kid that prefers quiet coloring or drawing to group activities. the kid who you have to find a way to connect with before they come out of their shell.
both signs are kid like in how they dream. both signs are wide-eyed when it comes to the things they dream of doing, or thee people they plan on becoming.
this makes me want to do a post on the sun signs as children 😭
thank you for reading this all the way through if you did!
if you notice anything else from what i’ve said, or if you go around a play with arabic lots, please let me know!!
i’d love to know what you think and what you discovered also!
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—more. [isaac garcia, mlwtwb]
“Lowly knights and mighty kings, they all want more”
tags. [fluff, angst, bonfire party, childhood best friends to lovers, jealousy, drunken confessions]
author’s note. [thank you for all of the requests!! i got a TON, so i tried to mix a few ideas into one fic, so i could get it out to you guys as fast as possible! ꩜ i siriusly love you <3]
wc. [4k]
—fic under the cut!
‧˚ʚ ⋆ ꜝꜞ
Aside from her predicament with the Walter boys, Y/n did really like Jackie. Who she didn’t get along with where her newfound friendships. Skyler and Grace where gossipers. Y/n knew they just enjoyed being close to the center of it all. Skyler was just annoying, and she didn’t enjoy the way he treated Nathan at all, but she could get past that and tolerate his presence. Grace though… she was just a bitch. She hated Grace, “Gracie” as she used to call her. They actually used to be good friends, until high school made the girl even more of a newsmonger. The slight whiff of a scandal and she’d come running like a dog, even to the detriment of the people around her. She gets carried away, forgets it’s real people and not a movie. Maybe she gets a high out of the attention she gets from sharing the information she dishonestly collects. People only come to see her to know all about other’s lives. Gracie’s own is incredibly boring, she’s sheltered. So, gossiping is her only way of living some sort of excitement, through others, of course. Y/n pities her, in a way. But she mostly, mostly hates her guts.
At the annual bonfire party, after an insane amount of begging from her best friend, Y/n took a ride with the Walter’s. Cole got them there, but Danny was, as per usual, the designated driver. Y/n didn’t enjoy drinking either, but she didn’t have her permit yet, postponing her lessons every chance she got. She liked driving with the boys, she even had her own designated seat. Being their neighbour meant they’d get her to school too, and that Isaac would practice his own driving on his uncle’s truck with her. He was good, she felt safe.
When they got there, Jackie immediately jumped to Gracie, while Nathan ran to see Skyler, who didn’t truly seem to be as excited. Y/n rolled her eyes so hard, she’d probably get a headache from it. “Careful, you’ll get stuck like that.” Laughed Cole as he closed the door and threw the keys to his twin brother. “I can’t help myself!” She pleads in annoyance as she turns to her best friend for support. When she looks at Isaac, he’s looking over at the fire, not listening to their conversation at all.
He had been mostly quiet the whole ride, which she didn’t necessarily mind. They're used to comfortable silence, understanding each other beyond words. Even before him and Lee went to live with their cousins, they often came to visit. Y/n came to know that truck by heart, always sneakily asking her parents if she could go play with the neighbour boys when she saw it drive past.
Isaac actually had a stutter as a child. He wasn’t always as confident as he seemed now. Ashamed, he often stayed quiet. At first, Lee talked for him most of the time, but as their friendship grew, they learned to communicate without much words early on. The banter came later, when puberty hit and he became popular with the ladies. Sometimes though, when they’re alone, his quiet side shines through. Maybe tonight he just didn’t feel like talking much. That would be fine, but she knew there was something more.
“Hey,” It’s spoken softly. Hearing her voice, he shook himself out of his trance and noticed everyone was gone to exactly where he was looking. He was too bewitched by the fire to notice the people around it. “you’re quiet.” She chuckles. She says it as a fact, as something she noticed, but he knows she means it as a question that needed answering. He rubs the back of his neck, not sure of what to say. “Oh… uh~ yeah.” A giggle escapes her lips at that. “Recompose yourself, Garcia. You have a reputation to uphold.” He knows she’s teasing, but before he can answer, her hand leaves his forearm and she’s headed towards the party, like everyone else.
People wave at her, Cole screams something, Danny laughs. All he sees is fire. As if she’s walking right into it. She looks beautiful. The lack of her touch is more noticeable now. It feels wrong. He didn’t even notice she was touching him. It’s not unusual per say, but you’d think he would notice. Maybe it wasn’t her voice that drew his attention, maybe it was the familiarity of her touch. She knew that sometimes he was so inside his head that only a gentle squeeze could do the job that words couldn’t. But the fact she kept it, and he allowed it, like it didn’t matter, was what perplexed him. He’d usually be thrilled, but he was too tense to even feel it. Maybe that’s what made him stutter again. She had that effect on him, even though she helped him through it the most. He couldn’t get the idea of her out of his head, but he didn’t know how to tell her.
“Buddy, c’mon.” Danny’s voice pulled him out of his haze. “It’ll just come out naturally when you talk to her, don’t stress about it.” It comes out so casual, as if it was obvious between the two boys. “What are you talking about, dude? I’m just kinda tired. Didn’t even wanna come to this trash party.” He scoffs unconvincingly to his older cousin. “Yeah okay. You were the most excited. You dragged Y/n here, when you know she doesn’t even like parties. Look, if you have something to say to her, just do. It doesn’t have to be special, or a big deal, or even tonight. Now let’s go. She’s all alone in a party she didn’t wanna go to, with people she can’t stand.” Isaac laughs at that, knowing she’s probably poking at Cole’s last nerves or teasing Alex and Lee. He also knew that, sadly, the company of her friends didn’t compensate for breathing the same air as some deeply annoying people. “Well, to be fair, Gracie is a pain in the ass. Girl can’t mind her own business.” Danny pushes his back harder as he holds his shoulders, guiding him towards their friends. “You know she likes you right?” Danny questions, but Isaac just rolls his eyes. “Right, she likes anything that looks in her direction.” The Walter boy nods enthusiastically, as if it was all evident. “Right, yeah. And, you don’t care—obviously- cause you like Y/n, anyway!” Isaac’s head turns sharp at that, but he relaxes at Danny’s unconcerned smirk. He couldn’t get anything past the boy. His feelings were hiding behind a glass window to everyone, but her. Finally giving up the act, he shakes Danny’s hands off him and walks the final few steps towards the crowd on his own. “Shut up…”
When Isaac finally joins the party, he’s immediately swarmed by a raid of girls. Y/n watched from far away, lightly laughing at the absurdity of it all. But, a part of her is jealous. She doesn’t want him to spend time with these girls, he’s supposed to be her best friend. She’s the one supposed to have all of his attention… and more. Before she can shut down that too recurring thought, she feels someone walk up beside her.
“Isaac Garcia, honorary Walter, and breaker of hearts! Why don’t you join the fan club?” The boy teases in a theatrical manner. She recognized him, Matthew, from the football team. “I didn’t have time to sign up, sadly. But I don’t think there’s any more place to join, now.” She mimicked his dramaturgic expression. “King Garcia has a big heart, thou shall not worry! The more the merrier.” She laughs at that. He’s being ridiculous, but it’s getting a reaction out of her. Matthew did not mind being ridiculed if it meant she would be the one laughing. After the laughter quieted down, she answered honestly. “Not for me, I don’t think so.” But she kept their act going, finding it fun. “I have come to accept this sad reality a long time ago, My Knight! When I was still only a small peasant girl.” He smiles, before dropping the Shakespearean accent. “I am glad.” “You are?” She suspiciously questions. “Of course. That means you can join my club. As the face of it, of course. The Y/n appreciation club.” The play is back on, and so are the theatrics. “Oh, I’d be delighted, My Knight. Not many members I suppose?” “Only me, for now, My Queen. But not by lack of trying from others. It’s just that…” His face drops forward comically, pressing her to ask, “That what, My Kight?” Dramatically, he sighs. “They have to fight to the death to join… and I’m a very good duelist. Very motivated… to be the sole member of this club.” “How so?” She truly wonders. “It would mean that I would have your undivided attention, My Queen. That would be a great prize, indeed.” He says, slowly coming back to his true self. Y/n actually didn’t expect that. Most boys don’t give her the time of day, let alone display their affection so clearly. “Oh…” “Oh.” He teases, and she giggles at the realization.
Through the sea of undesirable faces surrounding him, Isaac sees the interaction. Why is she laughing? What could he be saying that’s so incredibly funny? He should be the one making her laugh like that. But, that’s not really fair, though, is it? He didn’t even come up to her since he left the side of the car. She’d be alone if it wasn’t for the footballer. He’s glad she has company, he just wishes it was him instead. Not keeping his eyes off the girl, he distractedly excuses himself from the herd. Slightly pushing people out of his way, he goes directly towards the new pair of friends. Y/n is laughing and twirling her hair. She never twirls her hair. Her dress is pretty. Short. She was wearing a dress? Is it new? He’s never seen it before. Did she wear it for him? For Matthew? Did they talk before tonight? Why is he so pressed about this? Why does he care so badly? Heart beating louder than the music, his hands reach to another random drink. Suddenly, his legs start to walk on their own towards the girl he can’t help but love.
As he comes up behind her, Y/n sees Matthew’s expression change. “Well, time is up, My Lady.” He theatrically bows down to her as Isaac puts his arms around her shoulders. Y/n’s confused at his sudden change of behaviour. “I’ll see you later, Princess.” He winks and walks away while Isaac stands confused. Did he just call her Princess? What a player… What even was their dynamic? He didn’t actually plan on interrupting anything, but now that he did, he wasn’t sure how to proceed. Lost in thought again, he only notices her expression when she yells out the other boy’s name and moves towards him, making Isaac’s drunken arm drop. Matthew turns around and softly smiles at her. He motions for her to come closer and whispers something in her ear. That secret makes her blush, and Isaac is furious, not knowing what was said. Why did he have that effect on her? As Matthew leaves Y/n with a pat on the head, she sheepishly comes back to where her best friend was standing. The closer she got, the warmer he cheeks felt, and apparently looked. Isaac noticed, but didn’t truly understand he was the source of it.
“So? What did cocky all-American football star Matthew want to do with you?” Isaac says matter-of-factly. His words start to slur. Nothing makes much sense, except the thought that she may be in love with someone else. She takes a step back. He suddenly went from quiet to mean. What happened in that pit of girls? Was he tired of breaking hearts? Was yours the only one left? “He’s not cocky, he’s actually very nice…” She tries to add, but it comes out hushed, shy. The words hurt more than she cared to admit. Her biggest insecurities highlighted by the one she cared for most. “And- I’m sorry if it’s too hard for you to imagine… that someone could actually like… me,” It comes out slow, as if she was carefully choosing her words and not only trying not to cry. “but there’s no need to be so rude…” Her last words are barely louder than a whisper. With the ringing in his ear and the loud music, he’s scared he simply imagined it. But her eyes tell him that even if she didn’t say it, that’s how she felt. He was deliberately rude and knowingly mean and he felt absolutely awful.
“Y/n… you know that’s not what I meant…” “I don’t know that…” She avoids his gaze, kicking the sand beneath her feet. “I just-” “You what?” “He’s a jock! He must have bad intentions!” She scoffs at that. “Or maybe! Just maybe! Someone likes me! Crazy, I know! But not that impossible…” “I don’t doubt that anyone could like you, Y/n. You’re-” When she finally looks at him, demanding an explanation, his mind goes silent. How could he tell her how deeply amazing he truly thought she was? “It’s just that- He’s a football star! They’re dicks!” That’s the excuse he comes up with. “Ok? Cole was a football star?” “And he’s a dick! I love him… but look at Erin…” She nods sarcastically. “Well, I’m glad you’re concerned, but I won’t follow him around like a puppy, waiting for attention. I’ve done that enough actually…” She mumbles, but he hears. He always hears her. “Y/n…” She dismisses him with a wave. “Go back to your little fan club, Isaac…” As Y/n walks away she blinks back a few tears that were threatening to spill. Isaac watched her sit down by the fire besides Matthew, hugging her knees. He’s making her laugh, and everything gets more real. He was the asshole, and he hated himself for it. Before going to apologize, he just needed another drink.
As he turns his back to the fire, he bumps into Grace, who didn’t seem this shocked. “God! I didn’t see you!” She feigns innocence, as she offers him a new red plastic cup. Isaac takes it without much thought, constantly looking back at where Y/n and Matthew were sitting. He’s too distracted to care about Grace and too buzzed to even understand what she’s saying. He nods at whatever she’s saying before noticing her hand on his shoulder. “Ew, get off, Grace.” The intoxication in his voice is clear, but he’ll never be wasted enough to want her, or anyone other than the girl he couldn’t keep his eyes off of. Gracie doesn’t seem to take a hint, putting her other hand on his free shoulder. By the time Isaac turns back to look at her, Y/n is already on her feet marching towards them. “Oh no… she’s coming to ruin our fun…” Grace pouts, but Isaac doesn’t hear, too mesmerized by the girl stomping her way to them. “Get off, Grace.” Y/n pushes her off and instinctively checks on Isaac. Taking his drink from him and buttoning his jacket back on, she says, “Ok, it’s time to go, pretty boy.” She softly smiles at him, knowing he doesn’t need a lecture right now. After she puts his hair back into place, she turns to a whining Grace and tells her matter-of-factly, “Also.. Gracie… eat shit and die.” She scoffs and flips her hair like in the movies. At least, that’s how Isaac sees it. His savior in slow motion, he thinks and laughs. He looks stupid and drunk, and so so so in love with her. It’s time to go home.
“Y/n, that was not nice…” Jackie comes up to her, but Y/n ignores her, fully knowing the point of her words were to be mean. She could be the devil when she wanted. And Grace was always a free pass for being bitchy. The amount of times that Y/n had to defend Isaac as a child, she knew how to take care of the boy. This came naturally to her.
“You do not want to feel the wrath of the neighbor girl, Jackie.” Cole laughs as he pats her shoulders and goes past her towards the car. Danny joins him, keys in hand. “She’s his fiercest defender, don’t try her. She’d burn the world for him, I’m pretty sure.” He warns, mumbling the last part. “Walter family! In the car! Now!” Y/n demands, holding Isaac up. “Yes ma’am!” Cole winks at Jackie, who’s slowly understing the dynamics of the family. “No one is safe if he’s the one in danger. No matter how much you think she loves you, there’s no one on earth she cares more about than him.” He whispers in her ear as he sits down considerably close to her. “She’s crazy mad, guys! Get in the car!” Danny yells for the others to come. Lee and Nathan run up to the car, fully knowing who’s boss.
When they finally get home, Y/n walks right past everyone with Isaac to put him to bed. No one says a word, knowing it’d be better not to test her in times like these.
Isaac starts laughing when they go past his door. “Y/n! Are you crazy?” She shushes him for being too loud. “Are you crazyyy?” He tries again in a loud whisper. “What are you talking about?” She can’t help but laugh a little too. “You can’t come into my roooooooom. Not at this hour! No girls over. Aunt Katherine is gonna be piiiiiiiissed.” “I’m just putting you to bed, Isaac. You’re drunk.” She chuckles, pushing him towards his bed so he can sit down. “Oh…” He’s quite obvious in his disappointment. As she chooses clothes for him to sleep in, she tries to reassure him. “Katherine said I could stay tonight, ok? Because of the party. I’ll sleep on the couch.” His excitement is brought back by that piece of information. “Oh! We can watch a movieeeeee, and-” “No, Isaac. We sleep. You don’t want to be visibly hangover in the morning. Then, Katherine would kill you.” She turns away from his dresser and puts his clothes beside him on the bed. “Here. Your pjs. Put them on, I’ll put mine on, and then we’ll go brush our teeth, ok?” “Ok…” His eyes wander to her dress. It’s pretty. It’s short. He wants to tell her it’s pretty. Instinctively, his hands wander to the hem of the dress. His thumb strokes the fabric, it's nice. There’s a silence between them. Y/n doesn’t actually leave the room, like she had planned. “Pretty… it’s-“ “Thanks.” She quickly interrupts. In his daze, his hands move from her skirt to her thigh. The touch is soft, feather-like. He’s scared she’ll break otherwise. Y/n holds her breath, but before she can say anything, he lifts his arms up. “Help.” He simply says like a child who can’t undress themselves. It takes a while for her to process his request, but she doesn’t decline.
When she first touches the bottom of his shirt, and her hand accidentally brushes over his skin, she can’t help but feel her heart skip. It’s not as if she had never seen him shirtless before. Countless summers at the Walter household gave her many opportunities to gawk. But this felt different. The two of them, alone in his room. It’s as if, in her anger at Grace, she had forgotten their own fight.
Matthew had abs too, even more, probably. A football star boyfriend would be great, she tried to convince herself. But the thought didn’t persuade her, as it didn’t give her the butterflies that Isaac’s simple smile easily could.
As she lifts his shirt up, she can’t help but think back at what Matthew whispered to her back at the bonfire party. “Go to your King. Do not settle for a lowly knight like me.” She later tried to explain to him she didn’t feel as though he was “lowly”, but he saw through her makeshift walls right to where she hid her feelings for the older Garcia boy. She didn’t know why he acted the way he did that night, so quiet, and then so rude, but she pushed it all away, they’d talk about it tomorrow.
When she finally took off his shirt, she couldn’t help but stare a little. She quickly shook it off and put his old band shirt on. There were a few holes in it, but with his grey hoodie on top, it didn’t really matter. Looking at his neatly folded red checkered pyjama pants, he got up and said, in the same way as before, “Help.” She chuckled, and turned away to leave. “You can do that part on your own, I’m sure.” She could feel his smirk burning at the back of her head.
In the bathroom, she put her own pyjama set on and started her nightly routine. Hearing a knock at the door, she swiftly opened, knowing it must be Isaac coming to brush his teeth.
They brush their teeth together and Isaac sits on top of the counter, waiting for her to finish taking off her makeup and doing all of her skincare. “You’re so pretty…” The sudden break in the comfortable silence shocks her. Of all the things he could’ve said, she didn’t expect this. Seeing she didn’t answer, he kept going. “And smart too. You’re more than your looks of course, but you are very pretty. I know I make fun of you for your thousand steps routine, but I actually do enjoy it. Gives me more time to just look at you…” “Isaac…” She tried to cut in on his rant. “And- And I didn’t mean that… At the bonfire. I know people like you. How could they not… I just- i just don’t want you to like them…” He was drunk, he’d regret it in the morning. She feels as though she’s reading someone’s secret diary. He’s drunk and an open book for her to skim through. “Isaac…” She warns again, but he shakes his head. “I guess I was just jealous… ‘cause you were laughing… so much with Matthew. What were you even laughing at? He can’t be that funny. I’m funny. I want you to like me…” He groans, hiding his face in his hands. “I do like you…” Y/n tries to reassure him. “Well then… I want you to love me.” She takes his hand, making him look at her fully. “I love you, Isaac. A lot.” He smiles. “You’re my best friend.” It drops. “No…” That was wrong. That’s not what he wanted. “No?” She questions. “I don’t want you to love me like a best friend… I want you to love me as… more.” “More?” “More.” He says it as a pledge. “Will your answer stay the same in the morning?” There’s a smile on her face. She can’t help but dwell on the possibility of what could be. “I promise.” He’s sure of himself. “Ok, then we’ll talk about it when you’re well-rested.” She laughs. “Now get down, sleepyhead. It’s time for bed.” Isaac didn’t argue, knowing full well that in the morning, he’d be telling her the same thing. Over and over again if that’s what she wished to hear.
ꕀ
𐦂 hope you enjoyed it!! comment what you think! and please don’t forget to reblog!!! ◡̈
ʚ masterlist + resquests!
taglist ; [making a taglist for my life with the walter boys! plz send an ask, comment, dm to be added!]
#isaac garcia#isaac garcia x reader#isaac walter#angst#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#imagine#x reader#x you#my life with the walter boys#isaac mlwtwb#mlwtwb#my life with the walter boys isaac
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I came back from the movie theaters (Fnaf Movie) My lord I FREAKING LOVED IT THE WHOLE THING IDC AHHH
Ahem-
I saw that requests are open, SO a Platonic Headcanon Request if you don't mind, Fnaf (Movie) Animatronics with Gender-Neutral (17-soon to be 18) Reader as the new security guard? or maybe tags with Mike and possibly Abby? (Reader ain't tall just-idk 5'2 maybe I am projecting-)
(I know this request doesn't make sense because of the tiredness due to staying up late because of excitement. Feel free to delete this ask if its too complicated)
bonus: If you want to, You can also Include Chica's Cupcake
Have a nice day/night, From 📞 ☕ (PhoneCoffee) Anon
Oh I can definitely work with this ^^
......
When you started working at Freddy's overnight, you hoped this would be your last summer job ever before you turned 18.
"Steve" said it was all pretty straightforward: watch the cameras and make sure nobody broke in.
Easy as pizza pie, right?
Well, when you realized one of the animatronics very subtly moved from their usual spot, you wanted to check them out for yourself.
Plus, sitting in the office for six hours every night would def get boring as hell.
So you head to the main stage area, finding the whole gang mysteriously gone--Foxy included.
Then you get surprised by them emerging from different places in the pizzeria, eyes glowing a sinister yellow as they surround you, wary of your intentions.
"O-Oh hey..um..Fazgang?" You try your best not to look so terrified.
Surely someone was controlling them, right? They couldn't possibly hurt you.
Yet they stop and collectively realize "wait, isn't this a teenager? And why are they working this job??"
But since you're not wrecking anything in the pizzeria (or screaming bloody murder unlike the last guard), they spare you and are just very chill overall.
You now start to believe all the rumors of them being haunted by little children.....although not even that scares you.
On the second night, you learn that they can understand simple drawings--and that's how you pretty much communicate with them and build up trust.
While Bonnie is regarded as the "most aggressive", he was a real sweetheart who let you shine his guitar and hugged you tightly to express his thanks.
Alas you haven't found a way to stop it from constantly short-circuiting when he strums it...but you vow to figure something out.
Chica was equally as sweet, although for some reason Carl the Cupcake made you feel nervous.
The way he can be on the plate one moment and then disappear the next makes you worried that he'll sneak up on you and bite your ankles off.
But as long as Chica's around, that won't ever happen.
Although Foxy looks quite dangerous, you try your best to patch up the hole in his chest using some spare parts from backstage while being oblivious to the deadly Freddy mask saw trap in the corner, something he's grateful for.
He even sang you a little sea shanty as thanks!
Freddy was the first to be suspicious of you, but after seeing a drawing you made of him, he grows to like your presence, too. Especially after how nice you've been to his bandmates.
So you definitely survived more than five nights at this place--longer than anyone so far.
When Mike gets hired and comes in for his first shift with you, he's surprised that a teen is training him.
He suspects this was some lousy summer job you were forced to get and thinks you're gonna act miserable the entire time you work together and not actually teach him shit.
But as it turns out, you love your job!
You show him the Fazgang during their "showtime" performance and assure him that while they may look creepy, they're not bad at all.
And while you're not getting paid extra to do simple maintenance on them, you still enjoy trying to keep them in tip-top shape (especially Foxy, who needs repairs the most).
Mike seriously thinks you shouldn't be doing that as it's not in the job description AND it could be dangerous.
Even if you have expertise in robotics, he still thinks it's not worth losing a limb or finger to those complex contraptions.
Like he almost did after getting near a springlock suit.
But you just teasingly remind him who the trainer is..and he goes quiet.
Foxy overhears this, and you see him snickering from behind the Pirate's Cove curtain, amused by you basically schooling this 25-27 year old man.
Unfortunately he startled poor Mike, who looks over quickly.....only to find the fox standing in his usual position, acting completely normal.
"Was he just laughing at us...?"
"Nope." You play dumb, shrugging. "Must be his voice box malfunctioning....c'mon. Let's see if we can fix that."
Least to say, you're not gonna let him sleep on the job anytime soon.
#clanask#phone coffee anon#fnaf x reader#five nights at freddy's x reader#fnaf movie x reader#fnaf movie spoilers#platonic#teen reader#mike schmidt#freddy fazbear#bonnie the bunny#chica the chicken#foxy the pirate#headcanons
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Mermen au with mer TF141 and researcher reader trying to learn about their. . .biology :Dd Or them trying to bring progressively bigger fish trying to woo and then Ghost ends up bringing you a fucking orca or some shit,
...I had to look up the reproductive cycle of several marine animals for this I hope you are happy.
Deductive Reasoning
Words: 1.3k
CW: ...light fish porn (?)
It was just fascinating. It would have been dreadfully difficult to not talk about this every chance you got and thus break your NDA if not for the fact that you never left this secure little island base. You were permitted to, but why would you want to? You were speaking with living, breathing mermen almost everyday.
4 of them, although they had alluded to their being more out there. These 4 were a... well that was the question wasn't it? Only one shark did not make a shiver, only one seal did not make a herd, only one walrus did not make a rookery and only one mandarinfish did not make a shoal. Was there a collective term for mermen? You were told you were now the leading researcher in the world for this new species, so perhaps that meant you got to decide.
Or maybe you'd just ask. They spoke to you sometimes, or at least made noises. They seemed to understand each other at least which was intriguing on its own.
It had been Soap you had met first. You had been basically abducted and hurried to this island facility where they had captured a real life merman. You were enamoured immediately by the furious thing in the tank. Half seal, harbour seal you thought. Top half looked all but human (skin must be different to allow for underwater living and ah, yes, you could see gills), hair in a mohawk (which suggested someone had cut it to look like that, who? Was it a ritual? Did they have community? Was it an emulation of human culture? Perhaps some mating strategy?), eyes somewhere between human and seal (his physicality was a similar story, he was built strong and thick, a healthy layer of fat over hard muscle).
You perhaps felt a little bashful looking back. You had been so wildly excited, asking a thousand questions and going into chaotic science mode that it took you a whole 16 hours of straight observations and notes to realise there was a creature of higher intelligence being held captive in a tank. You did, of course, apologise profusely. He clearly did not understand what you were saying, but the emotion was human enough. Bemusement.
Soap had come about because he was slippery. Well, actually he wasn't, but the story was that he was slippery. Because if the military knew you had actually been helping him escape you were probably going to get disappeared. It was lucky the facility at that time wasn't as high security, you had gotten away with it.
You had met Gaz right there on the coast when Soap went slicing through the water. You thought looking back that Price and Ghost had probably been there, just out of sight. They had come for him. Gaz was a magnificent thing. His tail was the same pattern as a madarinfish, bright orange with gorgeous blue markings. You had shown him a tin of irn-bru once with a grin and learned then that Soap could laugh. He had come right up to you and after some form of exchange with Soap had been playful, showing off his tail and holding his hand out to you. You had been existing on caffeine and noodles so hardly your fault you took it, getting dragged into the water.
Oh how thrilling an education you received in the courting practices of Dragonets! He had made quite a show of displaying his fins, including a gorgeous dorsal fin on his human looking spine. You knew you simply must see them again if only to study why Gaz's eyes were more human while Soap's leant towards seal like. He was certainly the most expressive of them. His name had only come about because you had tried every other one and he made his disdain for them very clear. By the time the merman had been rubbing what you would call his ventral fins against you, Soap had grabbed you and soundly deposited you back on shore. Just in time too for the soldiers to find you because the doctor later told you that you were in the early stages of hypothermia. Totally worth it actually.
You talked the powers that be into allowing your pet projects to free roam, after all they kept coming back to see you. Over the course of a year the facility was upgraded and a channel added from the sea to an indoor pool that would allow for better study. Soap and Gaz didn't run on a schedule exactly, but they seemed content to swim in every so often and let you poke and prod. Fascinating that they should both be half human but their other half was so entirely different. Soap was half mammal, retractable penis something he was very proud to show off anytime he was in the observation pool. Gaz was half dragonet, and while you tried to put a clutch of eggs in the pool to see if he could fertilise them he had only raised an eyebrow at you and tried once again to pull you in. Tough luck, you had learned your lesson about going into the water with them when you had met Ghost.
It had been the middle of the night when he swam into the pool. Silent, you hadn't heard him (that's where that name had come from in the end). So unsuspecting were you that you were too near the edge and his hand had snaked around your ankle, one sharp pull dragging you in after you fell to the ground (hardly avoiding a broken nose). It wasn't only his tail that was shark, he had a sharp set of teeth that he sank into the meat of your shoulder without much ceremony. His claspers had been strong as hell holding you there, the only thing likely saving you his frustration at your clothes. He must not have understood the concept very well because he released you and dove, pawing at your trousers to try and figure them out. It was an endless source of fascination for him anytime he visited after. He would lean his arms on the pool edge and just stare at your legs, tracing the outline of your body with his sharp eyes. It only seemed fair to let him look since you spent an inordinate amount of time staring at him. He was sleek and muscular, every inch an apex predator in his prime.
It was a contrast to who you would say was the leader of their group. The merman who had saved you from Ghost that first time you met him, who had ripped him away from you when his teeth had sunk into the meat of your thigh through your trousers. Price had hauled you out of the water with ease. He was part Walrus, huge and soft with a layer of blubber similar to Soap's that hid considerable strength. Of all of them his animal half was most pronounced, his canines elongated into tusks and his hair thick and whisker-like around them.
As a scientist you could not possibly play favourites. Price was absolutely your favourite. He would be still and patient with you when you were working with him. He would gently run his fingers over whatever parts of you were in reach. When you babbled excitedly he seemed to listen as best he could.
If you had taken more than a moment to really look into it, you might have realised you were not the only creature conducting research. If you had used some deductive reasoning, you probably could have anticipated that fateful day you were dragged into the sea, never to be seen by the human military again.
#mhairiwrites#cod au#tf 141 x reader#today on CWs I never thought I would have to use#was going to make one an octopus but we all know that would be Konig#and I liked flamboyant Gaz and fat Soap and Price and sharp toother Ghost too much
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prediction astrology:
Saturn in Pisces transit + how you could get famous ♓️ ✨
credits to @astrobaeza
Saturn entered Pisces on March 7, 2023 and will stay there until May 24, 2025. Already, we have been able to see new musicians, artists, collectives rise to fame.
example: Victoria Monét -> her song "On My Mama" went viral and she has her Moon and North Node in Pisces. Despite being popular for some time, she is just now really blowing up.
British Duo "Jungle" went viral for their song "Back on 74". Tom McFarland, one half of the duo, has his NN in Pisces in his 7th house of partnership (his band) and his moon at 29° Pisces in his 9th house of the media. They blew up but I also predict their fame is being solidified and will grow even more.
Here is what I predict for the Saturn in Pisces transits in the houses.
✨ Pisces 1st house: solidification or complete undoing of your identity. this could be a time where you find the perfect routine for your skin, hair, makeup, or maybe completely transform your look or how you present to others. could become famous for looks and self (think modeling, youtube, Tiktok, instagram) post your selfies queens and kings!
✨ Pisces 2nd house: transformation of your personal values, increase in self worth, and influx of wealth and possessions. this could be a time where you become more confident and come into more money as a result. your values could translate in the work you do or anything you make or create. you could become famous for becoming wealthy or whatever you do as a result of this increase in confidence.
✨ Pisces 3rd house: you become more communicative with your community, neighbors, and siblings. strengthening of familial ties as well as gains in writing, singing, or public speech. you could become famous for your artistic or oratorical communication like writing music, poetry, or doing a public speech. could also become famous through your siblings.
✨ Pisces 4th house: your home life becomes more nurturing, sensitive and soft and your connection to your roots increases in familiarity. you could learn more and grow closer to your roots on an emotional level. this could look like traveling back to your hometown / birth place, picking up new family traditions, or healing broken family bonds. could become famous through your family or through exploration of you roots.
✨ Pisces 5th house: strengthening of creative abilities, creative drive, and increase in artistic pursuits / opportunities. you most likely feel more creative during this time, and have more of a drive to showcase this. great time for musicians, artists, and performers who want visibility for their art. also a time where you could go on more dates, fall in love, and have kids. could become famous for anything creative, your children, your romances.
✨ Pisces 6th house: transformation of work, health, and routines. you could become a lot healthier during this time through new workouts, diets, and lifestyle. you could also find new work, leave an old job, or have restrictions around your work and health lifted. could become famous through something like huge weight loss, introducing a new skin care brand, or through your work.
✨ Pisces 7th house: long-standing partnerships are inducted: meaning marriage, new business opportunities that bring you a lot of success or more connections, could also mean more enemies due to this success. could become famous for who you marry, who you do business with, or who defames you.
✨ Pisces 8th house: could result in an entire death and rebirth of yourself as a whole. this could mean a time when you "bounce-back" completely reinvent yourself and come out unrecognizable. also potential for sudden deaths, random events and an increase in wealth or shared resources. this could end a period of celibacy or a time when you lose your V-card! could become famous for anything related to power, money, and sex. (ie: starting an OF, getting an inheritance, investing and getting a huge return)
✨ Pisces 9th house: transformation of spirituality, your knowledge, and higher educational pursuits. could be a time where you finally have the money to go to college, study abroad, or commit to knew avenues of education and spirituality (maybe committing to a religion or belief system). could become famous for your educational pursuits like publishing research.
✨ Pisces 10th house: solidification of your reputation, career, public persona. this is the year that you could become famous for anything really (good or bad). for those who wish to be famous or already are, this is a great year to go after all career goals. your reputation will be solidified (good or bad). career could be Piscean in nature -- music, art, writing, spirituality.
✨ Pisces 11th house: expansion of networks, groups, and achievement of dreams. you could meet your best friends, form life-time connections, and accomplish something online or for the collective. could become famous on a large-scale through your groups in real life or on line. great time for social media users who want a larger fan base, push your work!
✨ Pisces 12th house: expansion of the mind, healing of the subconscious, transformation of subconscious beliefs about yourself, life, others. could be a time when you actively start working on your healing and emotional health (ie: therapy, shadow work) great time to transform or tap into healing practices or monetize them! a lot more intuitive, this can be applied to all areas of life and help you with your interpersonal relationships, business, and family. could become famous for communication of your new beliefs, your healing practices or for your transformation.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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#astrobae#astrology#astro community#astrology tumblr#astro notes#astro observations#astrobaeza#astrology community#astrology notes#astrology observations#saturn in pisces#predictive astrology#astrology aspects#victoria monet#jungle band#back on 74
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Jakehal is very fun. But why dirkkri? I dont understand what's appealing about it :? confused
theres a lot of things i like about dirkri and honestly i dont even know where to start lmfao
first of all, and its mostly a funny reason - davekat on crack. like some traces of davekat are still there - the arguing about shit, stoic facade vs emotional mess, all the good stuff, but its also so much more exaggerated it makes it this much more ridiculous. gets even better when you consider them under the lense of swap aus like alphaswitch or tbau, where they land on the meteor together. theyre most likely hunting each other for sports by the year two
second of all, the funney. theyd be so fucking funny together. their smallest arguments would take like twenty pages of non-stop flow of red-orange text to resolve, and not because they came to a consensus but because some third party physically dragged them away from their electronics. it doesnt do any good, since it only gives them both time to think over new arguments to use, and theyre back at it as soon as they get their phones back. like if we had a tournament about which ship would do the most collateral damage to the overall group, i think these two would be Up There. karkat would gauge his eyes out from frustration, because now not only does he have to deal with his piece of shit, know-it-all other self, but now theres also Fucking Dirk thrown into the mix. their home life is absolute insanity, a small jab about the other forgetting to buy sugar once again devolves into a screaming match about the merits and flaws of communism or some other inane shit. and theyre doing it for fun, they enjoy debating with each other, because often times they have vastly different opinions, and comparing their beliefs challenges them intelectually and morally. from the outside perspective theyre one of the most dysfunctional pair in the paradox space, when in fact thats simply how they want their relationship to be, and it makes them better people overall.
third reason is that theyre thematically delicious. dirk is a control freak, micromanaging his and his friends constantly. hes terrified of losing control, but hes also desperate for someone to just tell him what the fuck he should do. dirk doesnt think he should be in control of others, because he believes hes a naturally evil person capable of horrible acts, at the same time he doesnt trust anyone else to get things done but himself. hes a whole collection of contradictions.
kankri desperately needs to be in control as well. hes constantly injecting himself into conversations he has no business being in, trying to find someone thatd listen to what he has to say. hes wants to guide others, but his efforts are flawed, because he doesnt listen to other perspectives - hes got tunnel vision, as he thinks hes the one in the right while everyone else is wrong or ignorant (cringefail seer literally). he doesnt trust anyone else to make decisions for him, and becomes defensive when he thinks others are attempting to coddle him. his ass was definitely culled on beforus.
theyre also both so fucking lonely. dirk conciously tries to put difference between himself and his friends, worrying hell "corrupt" them. kankri tries to connect to his friends, but his behavior alienates him from them to the point of no one except maybe porrim want to have anything to do with him.
my point is, kankri wants to guide people but has to learn to listen to others and reflect on his own flawed opinions. dirk has to learn to trust that people closest to him can get shit done on their own and loosen up, as well as realise hes not evil at the core. them helping each other out - dirk teaching kankri about different perspectives, kankri teaching dirk about letting others do their thing - is something i think about a lot.
also i like to think theyd spar for fun a lot as well. its not really a reason and wholly my own personal headcanon but i wanna mention it as well bc its so funny to me. i like the idea of kankris behaviour being a complete reverse of karkat - where karkat is all bark no bite and doesnt like fighting or violence, kankri puts up a front of the beacon of love and peace and tolerance, but in his free time he gets his rifle and goes shooting at the fucking squirrels or some shit. i think he wouldnt have the same qualms about strifing as karkat. like dirk would try to jokingly jab his finger at kankris side and he would just fucking flip him over his shoulder and onto the table breaking it in half, because he doesnt like being touched unexpectedly and by gods dirk when will you fucking learn. he goes from 0 to 100 real fast. its such a hysterical concept for me.
#homestuck#dirk strider#kankri vantas#dirkri#dirkkri#turnabout au#homestuck turnabout#alphaswitch#tagging it as well bc well. dirkri#is it dirkri manifesto? its dirkri manifesto#wally where are you i need your words tell em tell em why dirkri is so fucking good
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I'm not sure if this is the end for the QSMP, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were shut down soon after this.
The eggs have been the lifeblood of the server since they were introduced, and having some of them permanently gone from the server is devastating for so many reasons, and bodes terribly for the future of this project. My optimism has run out. I will still wait for updates but I have no hope.
However, I wanted to write a piece for the community here on Tumblr. I know we're all very emotional right now, because while we have no confirmation that the QSMP will permanently close, we now have good reason to assume there might just be no other clear path out of this.
To the community:
Do not feel like you have to stop loving the server and everything it created. Do not stop creating art. Do not stop sharing why you loved the characters and the story and the world.
To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are discrediting the incredible work that the admins put into the server purely out of passion and the kindness of their hearts. Do not waste their sacrifices. Talk about the server and everything they did for it, give them recognition, let them know we love and appreciate all the time and care they poured into this project. Thank them by caring about their work that they put so much of themselves into.
To completely boycott everything QSMP, you are ignoring the beautiful friendships it created between content creators who otherwise would never have met, and the way it ignited such a fierce determination to learn about others' cultures in them. You are forgetting how much these streamers strived to tell engaging, relatable, fun stories, by themselves or with each other, and to have their fans talk about how much they liked their newest lore. You are refusing to acknowledge the effort put in by everyone on the project to tell amazing stories through the language barrier.
And to completely boycott the QSMP, you are denying yourself the fact that you loved this server; the eggs, the streamers, the stories, the cultural events, the laughter, the sadness, the friendships, the ship ships, the builds, the mods, the languages. You are part of this server for enjoying it's wonderful vitality and beauty and hilarity. As a community, we all are.
I have had my gripes with the QSMP fanbase, as anyone has gripes with the dysfunctional mad household they live in, but at the end of the day, I love it so much. This has been my first time actually being part of a fandom; interacting with people and sharing my art and my ideas, getting into silly debates and arguments, running my mouth off more than I should. I love this bizarre toxic fandom for all of it's worth; I love the fanfic writers (even if I think their characterisation is terrible), I love the fanartists (even if they give Pac those yellow scleras that always make me think of jaundice), I love the live bloggers (even if they clog up the main tag), I love the people who write analysis, the people who make animations and animatics, the people who webweave, and all the other things people in this fandom do to interact with the media we all collectively love and bond over.
We do not need to let this be the end of our community, as we can still share our admiration for the hard work put into this project, lift each other up, express praise where it is warranted.
And we can talk to each other, we can vent about how this has negatively effected us (provided we tag it appropriately 👁️👁️) and respond in kind to those seeking someone to speak to who relates.
The QSMP taught us the value of communication. While behind the scenes, it itself did not abide by it's own rules, we can. The QSMP itself is not the figurehead of communication; the content creators and the fans it sent this message to are. We can be an example of what the QSMP should have stood for.
I do not love the deeply flawed execution of the QSMP, but with my whole heart I love the idea; the ambition, the goal. It was noble. It, to some extent, worked.
It united communities.
Let it unite ours.
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I'm sorry but Gabriel and Beelzebub's relationship is just so damn wholesome and it's also so different from Crowley and Aziraphale.
Crowley and Aziraphale are never on the same page about what the other wants or what the other is trying to say/do. Crowley is an expert at anticipating what Aziraphale wants or needs, but he doesn't have a good grasp on how Aziraphale communicates. Aziraphale can't anticipate what Crowley wants, needs or what he'll do next, but he understands Crowley's words better.
To explain, Crowley knew Aziraphale would love food before Aziraphale had ever considered trying it. It is now one of Aziraphale's favourite things on earth. Crowley went to Aziraphale immediately after the whole ordeal with Job, which to me suggests that he knew Aziraphale would need comforting. He rescued Aziraphale in Paris, 1793, from the Reign of Terror and he rescued him in London, 1941, from the Nazis. When it comes time to talk about Armageddon, Crowley knows the things Aziraphale will miss when Earth is gone. He knows the things that will drive Aziraphale insane in Heaven for eternity. Crowley knows Aziraphale the way people know their first language: it just comes naturally to him. It's been ingrained in him.
Aziraphale cannot anticipate Crowley. Even with Job, when Aziraphale knows that Crowley doesn't want to kill the children, his attempt to stop him feels like he's bluffing. That he isn't 100% confident that Crowley won't do it. He is puzzled and (pleasantly) surprised to find that Crowley didn't even have the heart to kill the goats. But, when it comes to verbal communication, Aziraphale is more in tune. He quickly picks up on when to take Crowley's word seriously, and when not to. We see this a few times, like in Edinburgh, 1827, when Crowley responds (as he often does) in anger to being praised for his kindness, and again in modern day S1 at the old satanic hospital. Aziraphale isn't the slightest bit affected by what Crowley says or does in response to him. He just patiently waits, and almost smiles, as Crowley talks. He isn't afraid of him, even when Crowley slams him against a wall. He isn't off put. He deeply understands what Crowley is saying, why he's saying it, and that it isn't personal. He's just being defensive. And throughout the show in general, Crowley says plenty of hurtful things to Aziraphale that Aziraphale just knows not to take to heart.
In most of the show, these are great strengths for both characters and their collective dynamic. But in their final interaction, it shows that they need to learn the understanding that each of them is respectively lacking.
The entire dispute starts because Aziraphale can't anticipate Crowley. He thinks Crowley will be happy about going to heaven, but the viewers (and, if you ask me, the Metatron) all seemed to know that he would be upset. Aziraphale should know him better than anybody does, including the viewer. But he doesn't. He never learned a fundamental part of understanding Crowley, which leads to...
Crowley takes everything Aziraphale says personally. In the gazebo scene in season one, he is better at taking Aziraphale's hurtful words in stride. But in S2E6, Aziraphale doesn't do a great job of explaining himself or the proposition of them returning to Heaven. And Crowley doesn't have the patience to try and give his explanation the benefit of the doubt. He takes it at face value, so things Aziraphale says - such as saying "Of course you said no to hell, you're the bad guys." when Crowley mentions rejecting hell - Crowley takes that as a personal attack or rejection. He never learned a fundamental part of understanding Aziraphale.
Now I know this seems like I've gotten off topic, but trust me, I'm about to bring it back around.
The difference is, Gabriel and Beelzebub could anticipate each other immediately. I'm sure there's a lot of meetings between the two of them that we didn't get to see in the show. But, with the evidence we have, we see two people who are always on the same page. They say there's no reason for them to meet up anymore, and give each other a knowing look that suggests "but we will continue to see each other anyway." Beelzebub likes a song, so Gabriel (who doesn't even have a grasp on what music really is) plays it on an infinite loop for them. Beelzebub is soft spoken and more gentle with Gabriel than anyone else we've seen. Gabriel buys them drinks and food to keep up appearances, and immediately reassures them that they don't have to consume any of it. Beelzebub brings him a fly, seemingly knowing that things will go poorly in Heaven soon. They have an equal exchange of gestures and communication that works so perfectly for them, its like its inherent. And when it comes down to where they want their future to go, they both essentially say, "I just want to be where my love is." They're on the same page, and that page is just that they want each other.
Aziraphale and Crowley will always try to find the next big thing to make the other one happy. But doing that will always sacrifice the present moment. They both think they understand the other, when in reality, they're hurting themselves - and each other - to comply with rules no one made for them.
Aziraphale thinks Crowley will be happy in Heaven. He thinks he can fix Heaven for Crowley.
Crowley thinks Aziraphale is choosing Heaven over him. He thinks Aziraphale wants to fix him.
They both tried their best. But they don't understand each other. And at this point, it's almost like they're not trying to understand. They're just trying to be right.
Anyway, I hope Beelzebub and Gabriel are very happy together for eternity and if they separate, I don't believe in love anymore.
#good omens 2#good omens 2 spoilers#writeblr#writers on tumblr#good omens#good omens spoilers#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#aziraphale and crowley#crowley#ineffable bureaucracy#ineffable husbands through the years#ineffable spouses#ineffable idiots#ineffable partners#gabriel#beelzebub#gabriel and beelzebub
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A Message From Your Person 💝💌
Pick A Pile Reading
(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)
Hello, Senstea Souls!
I hope you all are doing well. I am back with another collective reading. This reading will give you a glimpse about what's going on in your person's mind and heart.
For personal readings please DM me or email me at [email protected]
Pile 1
Tarot Cards- Three of pentacles, The magician, King of cups, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, Ten of Pentacles
Animal Spirit- Spider
Hello, my dear pile 1. This person is in love with you. Like REALLY. TRULY! Their efforts may seem a bit slow but they will be pacing up with time. They have this whole life planned or at least imagined with you. They love you with everything they have got. They try to keep a check on you. They see you as a stable and beautiful human being. They are trying their best to match your level. You are their home, their safe space. They too are trying to be yours. Just know that it will take some time for them to love you the way you deserve. To reach your standards they need to deal with their emotions first. But in the midst of everything they care about you. They need to come out of their comfort zone which they clearly know. Suffering and pain have somehow become comfortable for them but they know that you are their true calling. For you, they must come out of it. They feel overwhelmed when trying to communicate their emotions. Give them time and space. They have got so much to share and build with you but they are at a place from where they can only imagine and visualize a future with you. They are asking you to be patient with them. When the time is right Universe will clear all the blockages. Your person may be a workaholic. They need to set their priorities straight. For some of you I see that they are trying to make themselves financially stronger so that they can provide for you. They dream of a fulfilling and abundant life with you.
To know more about your situation book a reading with me.
Pile 2
Tarot Cards- King of Swords, 3 of Wands, King of Wands, Six of Pentacles, The World, Nine of Swords
Animal Spirit- Elk
Dear pile 2, currently your person is at a learning stage. They are learning some very significant lessons regarding relationships. The true meaning behind them. They are trying to understand what love truly means. They have searched for definitions from all around the globe. They may be spending a lot of time on the internet searching for the answers they need. They are generous and kind-hearted. They are trying to figure out how to begin this new journey with you and at the same time let go of the past hurts. Your person is charismatic. They may be magical. But they seem to be suffering some days. Their own mind plays tricks on them. As this year ends they will be out of their misery. Probably after the 21st of December, you'll see some positive change in their behavior. Somewhere deep down they love you. In the weirdest way, they are showing their love for you. But you can sense the hint of pain in their gestures. This pain will be over soon. Your person may also be suffering from health issues so they need to take care of themselves. They are letting you know that soon they will be able to spread love but before that, they must embody love within them. They are learning to detach themselves from their past relationship experiences. Sometimes it's a struggle and sometimes they sail smoothly. You need to give them time at least till January.
To know more about your situation book a reading with me.
Pile 3
Tarot Cards- Queen of Cups, Four of Swords, Judgement, Six of Wands, Eight of Swords, Temperance
Animal Spirit- Swan
My dear pile 3, your person wants you to know that it's okay to fall in love again. Don't hide yourself behind the walls. Don't give them excuses. Don't tell them that you can't do it for XYZ reasons. They know you have got so much love to give. They can see right through you. They know that deep down you can love someone again. To love them, perhaps again. They are asking you to come as your true self this time. Wake up and look in the mirror. Look what they see in you. Someone who is patient, loving, victorious, and who can handle transformation. Someone who is honest and doesn't give excuses. You're being too proud to show them your true side. They want you to drop your walls. Spend some time alone and assess your emotions. Ask yourself questions regarding this person. Sit in silence. You will receive the answers from within. If you or your person doesn't take a step towards each other then this bond can end very soon. Communication is needed. Pride needs to be set aside. They are afraid too of falling in love with you. But they are willing to give it a try. Think about it.
To know more about your situation book a reading with me.
Links:
Booking Form
My Rate Card
#tarot reading#pick a pile tarot#pick a pile reading#your person#love reading#love tarot free#free tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot reader#tarotblr#pick a pile#tarotcommunity#tarot readings#message for the collective#tarot witch#tarot#pac reading
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guys, guys.
be honest with me. would anybody be willing to read any SVSSS x reader stuff (or, just SVSSS with reader fanfics in general?) like please i'm being so deadass right now. i am very willing to write, it's just that i have no clue if anyone would want to read that???
i know that the people in this fandom don't necessarily have any x or & readers, but i'm sad and pathetic and have a weird emotional attachment to the characters. like hear me out guys.
i present to you all a few ideas i have:
1. reader transmigrates into SVSSS and decides, fuck it, let's become a counselor/therapist/emotional support service pal. half of the conflicts in the novel would've been prevented if therapy, communication, and simple observation existed! mu qingfan, give me a chance!! i promise this will lower the qi deviation rates by at least 50%.
liu qingge? alright, let's work on learning identifying your feelings better and not respond via violence to every situation. shen jiu? hey, hey, it's okay to be vulnerable! no- please don't go self projecting yourself onto an innocent 14 year old. luo binghe? *pulls out 5 different documents* heavens, where do we even start? like, gods forbid any of them have a proper support system, or at least be able to express their feelings and deal with them in a healthy manner!
2. liu qingge x reader where he gradually stops painfully pining and gets the love that he deserves. he gets his pretty face cupped gently and kisses all over it. that's it. that's the fic idea.
3. bingge, the original luo binghe, gets sent back in time.. all the way back to right when his mother died. he believes that he's been given a chance to re-enact his revenge, play it smart all the way from the start and have an upper hand now that he has to relive this! however, that quickly changes when this random fucking person (aka, reader) just wont stop bothering him?? what the hell do they want??? (for this one, i'm not sure if reader should be a transmigrator who believes they're in SVSSS instead of PIDW and is unaware of the whole bingge thing, or just some npc that proves him wrong about kindness).
4. SVSSS hater (or someone who just has a very complicated relationship with it!) reader transmigrates into it after tweeting "stupid author, stupid novels". they then proceed to accidentally collect two husbands they were so actively against before. ugh! now that i'm here, i guess i'll try to help out with their relationship and give my advice so that they won't have so much conflict, ones that were super frustrating to even hear about!! shen qingqiu, that dense ass guy and unhealthily codependent luo binghe! wait, what? what do you mean they both want me to be part of their marriage now??
sincerely, very much inspired by this tweet (reader most likely isn't going to be an anti, though);
low-key might combine the first and fourth fanfic idea? will make reader gender neutral (or even male!) though. but overall idk. idk if people will even wanna see that at all, man. ok please give thoughts. or not lol
(10-11-23 edit: i'm currently writing the bingge one rn!)
#pls guys jus think abt it..#can you guys believe that i created a tumblr account just to say this#excuse the shameless amount of tags yall#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#shen yuan#bingqiu#liu qingge#scumbag self saving system#the scum villain's self saving system#gender neutral reader#male reader
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Daniel Ricciardo: Calm in the face of adversity - An appreciation post
Since Daniel is going through a little rough patch again, I want to point out something that I admire him a lot for, and that is the way he carries himself even when he's going through hard times and how resilient he is. Plus, the way he manages to inspire his teammates to be better through his mentality and way of tackling these situations.
After going through the whole McLaren saga, Daniel willingly put himself in the "rookie" team of the team he left at his peak, that in itself takes so much belief in yourself and the willingness to throw yourself back in the game, start from the ground up again, despite knowing the risks if things don't go as planned. Building his confidence back up after McLaren is already an immense feat, and him being in F1 again shows how much he's willing to fight for it. Not only that but coming into Alpha Tauri/VCARB, he took it upon himself to have a sort of team leader role in the sense of car development and technical aspects, believing that his inputs/feedback can lead the team in the right direction (this is showing more with Yuki than him at the moment on track, but the team and Yuki himself have given Daniel credit for it). He's a genuinely strong person, who is extremely confident in his own abilities but also able to take the blame when he believes he's at fault for mistakes/mishaps as he will be the first to admit so when it's the case.
We have statements from former and current teammates about how Daniel's mentality and way of conducting himself has helped them become better people and better drivers.
Quotes from Lando (from 2023, and 2022):
Lando pointing out how despite his struggles Daniel would keep his belief in himself and the strength to keep pushing despite it all, which was inspiring for him too as a person and as a driver.
Quote from Yuki (5th of April 2024):
And now, we have Yuki saying that the way Daniel communicates and stays consistent behind the wheel especially stands out and has prompted him to want to change his own approach to it. Daniel staying relatively calm and collected in the way he communicates his frustrations to the team, even while he's struggling, is something that I respect him a lot for.
This is where I want to give credit to Daniel for being a good teammate, from Max to Lando and now Yuki, all of them have had nice things to say about Daniel in terms of learning from him and coming out better in at least some way after/while being teammates with him. Tired of the narrative that he isn't a good teammate because he may run his mouth sometimes in the heat of the moment (something almost all the drivers do). Max has always described him as open and honest and willing to talk things out, without needing to resort to mind games or anything of the sort, and it's part of why he appreciated his time with Daniel as his teammate despite their tensions at the time. The way Daniel can stay positive, civil and have respect for his team and teammates even in the face of challenges is incredible.
People often overlook how good of a communicator Daniel is and how he's a very focused and calm driver who gives excellent feedback once the helmet is on, all because of his funny and always-smiling persona off track. There is more than a reason Red Bull still saw value in him as a driver, to the point of offering him a contract while his hand was injured, and that the teams he's worked with, even if he may have struggled with some, talk positively about him almost always.
Anyway, my point is that it's extremely admirable and inspiring how Daniel has been able to pick himself up even after getting shot down repeatedly and continues to have the passion and belief in himself that he does have a place that he is deserving of in F1. This while also motivating his teammates to want to do better themselves and to take on some of his best qualities. It's been rough out here lately for Daniel fans so I mostly want to add some positivity and shed a little light on the real person, driver and teammate Daniel is and not the one his haters have decided he is.
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Education
Lesson #7: Communication is KEY.
A/N: well; you asked for it. It’s here.
Warnings: smut. Also not entirely proof read cuz I wanted to post it today for y’all so…
———
“Amelia?” Matty called out to her from behind the door, resting his forehead against it. “Can I please come in?” He cooed.
He knocked this time, in case she hadn’t heard him, “Amelia, darlin, please let me in.” He listened carefully for a shuffling of feet, any signs of movement at all, but none came. Soon, he began to pace back and forth to alleviate the raging of his heart. “Amelia, please. Open the door- please, I need to know that you’re alright.”
The silence was unbearable. As he paced by the bathroom door, Matty went over the events of the night in his mind, combing through every detail as he remembered it, trying to identify the moment that things went wrong.
He’d spent the entire way to the party wondering if she was going to be there. She’d designed the art work for the album that they were about to celebrate, so he’d hoped that Jamie would’ve had the sense to invite her. It’d gotten difficult to get a hold of her after their last phone call. Which, embarrassingly, he’d been too drunk to remember the details of. He has a vague recollection of talking to her, touching himself, alone, in his hotel bed, listening to her moan on the other end of the phone and wishing that she were eighth there with him. But he doesn’t remember much else. The texts were sparse and far between after that night. She wouldn’t pick up whenever he tried to FaceTime her. He’d written it off as time zone issues. It wouldn’t be the first time that his friendships or relationships were affected by his itinerant lifestyle. As he’d learned the hard way, over the years, nothing beats being in the same room with people. No matter how good distant connection is.
He’d spotted her soon after arriving at the event; seen her standing with a group of people that she doesn’t really like. He knew she was too polite to excuse herself from the conversation, so he figured if he inserted himself into the group, he could help pull her away.
If he was being honest with himself, his escape to LA was anything but effective, he’d thought about her every night while he was there. Even when he met up with his hookup. He was ashamed that he’d close his eyes and think of Amelia every time that another woman touched him. Try to remember what she sounded like. How good she felt wrapped around him the last time that he’d fucked her. How good he felt being with her. It took everything in him not to call out her name in another woman’s bed.
So, of course he’d been eager to finally see her again. But was that so wrong? Is that what hurt her? Was he pushy when he asked her to go into the bathroom with him? Did she not want to? She did hesitate, briefly, but he thought it was just because it was an entirely new thing that she’d never done before. And that was the whole point of their arrangement. He was meant to make her feel safe to try things out and figure out what she liked. Gain confidence to do things with other people. How’d they get from that to here?
Matty slid against the bathroom door crumbling yo the floor. “I just want you to know I’m right here, okay? I’m gonna stay right here. I just- I don’t know how to- I don’t know what to do right now, but I’m still here. I haven’t left you. I’m not going to.”
He ran his hands through his hair, attempting to breathe, deeply, and collect himself. Patience has never been a virtue that he possessed, though. “Oh, fuck this.” He mumbled before standing back up and banging on the door. “Amelia, please! Open this fuckin door! At least make a sound so I know that you’re okay in there. I can’t be out here thinking that- that you’ve hit your head against something and need- need- fuck! open this fuckin door!” He banged on the door repeatedly, more aggressive this time, as his patience wore thin.
His hands hurt from knocking against the door and his chest felt tight with worry. He won’t take this anymore. “Right, that’s it, then. I’m getting something to unlock this door with.”
With a 4 minutes YouTube tutorial, a butter knife, and one of his credit cards, he finally managed to open the door without breaking it.
“Oh, Amelia…” his heart sunk when he saw her, sobbing on the bathroom floor, her whole, naked body shaking. The sight paralyzed him for what felt like an eternity. His worst fear had come true. In trying to protect her from the hurt of the potential ill-intentions and miscommunications of complete strangers, by offering to be the person that she could experiment on, or with, he’d somehow wound up hurting her himself. The worst part is that he had no idea what he’d done wrong.
This moment wasn’t about his self-pity and indulgent guilt, he’d feel his feelings later on. Right now, he needed to be there for her. He ran into the room to grab the first thing he could find — his own shirt— and brought it back to wrap her up in, carrying her in his arms. His heart pounded against his chest, terrified that he’d make a wrong move and fuck this up, even more, so he narrated every single step he took, waiting a moment to give her the chance to object.
“Gonna just put this on you, so you don’t catch a cold…alright?” She said nothing. “I- umm- wanna get off the floor?” Again, nothing. “Well- I’m going to pick you up now, okay? If you want me to stop, just- say…say something.” “Bringing you to bed now, unless- well, unless you want to be sat somewhere else.”
She made no effort to protest or to stop him, so he took that as permission and proceeded, slowly, gently, as lightly as he could. His delicate touch and strong arms were a far cry from what was going through his mind. Matty held her in his arms as she wept into his bare chest. With every breath she took, every sniffle, and every tear drop that fell from her face onto his skin, his heart broke over and over again until he thought it couldn’t possible hurt any worse- and then it did.
When he felt her finally go still, her trembling breath calm and even, he looked down, and saw that she was asleep. Should he be relieved that, at least, she wasn’t crying anymore? Or should he focus on thr fact that, whatever he’d done had caused her to cry her eyes out, literally, to the point where she could no longer keep them open? He didn’t have it in him to move her or disrupt the first moment of peace that she’d had all night. So as his body went numb underneath her weight, he replayed their night in his mind, yet again, silent tears running down his face.
***
It was 3 am when Matty awoke from a dreamless sleep. Amelia was now fully wearing his shirt, all buttoned up, and clinging to his body, her legs intertwined in his, her cheek against his stomach, as she slept. The lights were turned out all the way, so she must’ve woken up at some point and walked around the hotel suite. When he stretched out his arm to feel around for his phone, he felt a water bottle on the nightstand. At least she’d had some water. That’s a good sign. Or was he desperate for anything to convince him that she was alright? Did he not deserve to feel relieved yet? Would he ever? He felt weak looking down at her. He wanted to kiss her forehead, to take her pain away, but he had this unshakable feeling that he’d break her, hurt her, cause her harm, if he ever touched her again.
In the morning, his body felt cold without Amelia pressed up against him. He had one text on his phone. It hurt his eyes to read it before they’d blink away the sleep. Mia ❤️: had to leave for a work thing. I’m okay. Thank you.
This was the worst news that he could’ve woken up to. He slammed his head harshly against the pillow, a loud cry tore through his chest.
***
“Matty?” Adam stood in the doorway, smiling, as he watched Matty sprawled out on the floor, arranging his son’s toys in some sort of circle, mumbling to the kid as if they were engaged in a serious conversation. “It’s been a while, what’re you two up to?” Adam walked over to them.”
“We’re creating toy rankings” Matty said matter-of-factly. “You know, like the Premier League tables?”
Adam giggled, Shaking his head. “Okay; I know the baby can’t be THAT entertaining and I’m his dad. So, who or what are you hiding out here from? And why couldn’t you do it at your own house?”
Matty glanced at Adam briefly before returning his attention to the army of toys. “Not hiding.”
“It’s Amelia, isn’t it?” Adam sighed loudly, joining Matty on the floor and instantly taking his son into his lap. “What’ve you done this time?”
Matty ceased his fiddling, cocking his head in shame. “I- erm…I- maybe didn’t pay attention when I should have.” Saying it out loud began to help piece together the situation in his head. “She- was trying to let me know that- that she wasn’t alright. I completely missed it.”
“Don’t sound much like you.” Despite Adam’s concern, he put on a cheerful demeanor to keep his boy happy. The contrast between his face and his words gave the conversation an eerie feel. Marty found it mildly distressing, if fatherly and admirable.
“I know. I fucked things up. Badly.”
“Well, have you apologized to her?”
“I- I want to. I just….can’t look her in the eye. And…..well, if that’s how I feel - Can’t imagine how she must feel.”
Adam said nothing for a long moment. When he spoke again, Matty hadn’t expected him to still be on that train of thought. “Let me ask you this: do you and Amelia ever just….hang out?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, like, not for sex. Just- for the sake of hanging out.”
Matty rolled his eyes, insulted by the implications of the question. “Of course we do. All the fuckin time. We went to see a film not too long ago, and, she came to see the set when we were working on the designs for tour. She stayed at mine one night cuz she was too drunk to go home…..” Matty paused, catching his breath, “do you need the dates and times as well? The fuck is ‘do you hang out?’ What kind of question is that!”
“Matty,” Adam looked him straight in the eyes, noting that, by his defensiveness, Adam must’ve hit upon a sore subject. “this all happened before the two of you started….well, fucking. Have you spent any time together as friends since then?”
Matty’s lips instantly parted, he was about to respond with “of course we have! What a ridiculous thing to ask!!” But, as he thought about it, he realized that Adam was right. He and Amelia were no longer really friends. His expression shifted from offended to embarrassed.
“It’s not like you’re incapable of maintaining the friendship.” Adam consoled him. “You’ve slept with friends of yours and kept them as friends before. So, why won’t you do it with Amelia?”
“I-I don’t know. It’s not on purpose. The time has just not been right recently. It’s just the way things have been going. I’ve just been busy. You know this. Band stuff.”
“So you have time to fuck her, but you don’t have time to hang out with her?”
Matty winced unable to bare hearing that about himself. “Well, not when you put it like that….She came to me and asked for this! We made an agreement- it’s not like that! You’re making me sound like a fuckin creep.”
“Go.” Adam nodded towards the door. “Go on, go apologize to her. I gotta get this little man ready for bedtime, anyway. Uncle Matty’s gotta go.”
***
Amelia was stunned when she answered the door, “Matty, what are you-“
“May I come in?” He spoke too quickly, nerves taking over him.
It was late. Plus, Matty never came over unannounced. So, with some confusion and concern, she let him in.
“What’s all this?” She pointed to the bags in his hands.
“We’ll get to that in a minute.” He waved her question away, his eyes scanning the apartment that he’s been to countless times before, with new found novelty. Anything to avoid eye contact. “Wanted to- erm…” he stuttered, still looking around. “how- how’re you feeling? You know, af-after the other night?” Matty stumbled over his words. He’d imagined this conversation going differently in his head. He’d even practiced his words on the way over here. But now that he was standing in front of her, certainty and practiced delicacy had left him. He was terrified. “You left before we could talk…”
Amelia led the way to the kitchen, with Matty trailing sheepishly behind her. She helped him set down the bags l in the kitchen while she considered his question. The answer was too complicated. She shrugged. “I’m okay….I think? I don’t know. I don’t know how I’m feeling. One minute I’m fine, and the next….” She was surprised to feel herself get so emotional so quickly.
All Matty could think was. you did this. You hurt her. You’re the reason she feels this way. He wanted to pick up one of her kitchen knives off the counter and pierce it through his own heart.
“Let- let’s sit down somewhere? Is that alright?”
Amelia’s brows furrowed. It wasn’t like him to be so uncertain. “Sure.”
In the living room, the sat on opposite ends of the same couch, Matty nervously fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. “So- I think….I think I know how you’re feeling and why it happened. Would you like to hear it?” He looked up at her, briefly.
She smiled nervously. “Sure- I mean, any ideas would be better than no ideas.”
“I think, well, I think we pushed you too far in the bathroom. I was a bit more aggressive than normal.” Matty’s voice got caught in his throat, so he paused, collecting himself. He was determined not to make this about himself and his feelings. He mustn’t speak unless he’s sure that he can control his tone.
“Y-yeah. I mean, I guess? The- umm, hair pulling, and the whole bending over thing…you being demanding. We’d never done any of that before.”
Matty nodded, “go-go on. It’s good. It’s good to hear you say these things.”
“Not sure what else to say.” She shrugged. “I mean, I liked it. All of it. It was just…a shock. Like, too many new things at the same time, you know?”
“Mhm…keep- keep going.” Matty was positively trembling.
“Ummm….I don’t know. That’s it I guess? It was just overwhelming for a moment. But for some reason it made things better. Like- when you told me to fade away from you and bend over? At first- I panicked-“
“Can I ask why?” His eyes shot up, meeting hers.
“Oh, gosh. This is embarrassing.” She mumbled under her breath. “Cuz- cuz I couldn’t see you. I like seeing your face. I like being able to tell that you were happy with me. That I was doing what you wanted me to do.” Her face turning read, she smiled. “But- the panic, it made the orgasm even better. I didn’t hate it, necessarily….it was just…a lot.”
Matty was tongue tied, his thoughts spiraling. He couldn’t find a beginning or an end to anchor himself to.
“Matty? Are you with me?” Amelia attempted to meet his gaze. “Honestly, I mean it! It didn’t hurt or feel unpleasant. I just-“
“Yeah, well, we’ve talked about this happening in theory.” Matty finally regained his footing. “Remember when I told you to read some shit about ‘subspace’ ? I think…..the excitement, the pain, the pleasure, the anxiety- perfect storm. A cocktail of Adrenalin and endorphins to push you over the edge.”
“Oh.”
“Would explain the sudden inability to speak…the overly emotional state, the….eagerness to do more.” Matty listed all the indications that he recalled her showing.
“Can I ask….Is that- umm….would it also happen to be why everything felt so…strong? Like lights and noises and stuff?”
Matty’s heart ached in his chest. He was sure that kitchen knife stab would be easier to take than this. “Fuck me…..yes, yes it would explain that as well.” He closed his eyes, willing the tears to stay where they are. “Anyway, so, I think, all of that, then throwing that new restrained position on you…demanding that you get me off…it may have been a mistake.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not ‘may.’ It was a mistake. Definitely. It was my mistake. And I’m- I’m sorry.”
Amelia didn’t know how to feel about this new revelation. She was glad to have an explanation for how her body and her mind had felt, not to feel so helpless over her emotions, but she had no idea what to make of any of it.
“It gets worse.” Matty confessed. “Once you’d safe-worded, i- I should’ve done more. Been better. Taken better care of you.”
“Oh. No…matty you did good. I felt okay. I mean, not really, I was feeling entirely disconnected from my body, but-“
“Yeah that’d be the subspace psychology…”
“Like afterwards. I felt okay waking up the next morning. Just….confused and embarrassed.”
Matty laughed. “So…not okay.”
She smiled at him, “it’s really not that bad, looking back on it now…”
“I was scared. I owed you better. But I was scared that I’d hurt you. I suppose I- didn’t want to admit to myself that I’d missed all the signs. Let it get to a point where you had to tap out. And we hadn’t umm….we hadn’t made a real plan for what happens if you do tap out. I mean, we have our aftercare routine for afterwards….but, I should’ve anticipated that we’d both be in a completely different headspace if we stopped suddenly.” He shrugged. “I got lazy on you.”
“Matty-“
“I did! It’s true. I got complacent. Comfortable. Things were going so well that I didn’t think anything bad could ever happen between us. So- so I was less prepared!!! Even though im always on you about always being prepared. And speaking up. Fuck- what a hypocrite.”
“Matty, don’t say that!”
“I’ve failed you. And I’m so, so, sorry, Amelia.” Matty finally burst into tears. But it didn’t feel enough. He wanted to get on his knees and beg, bow down to her and tell her how much she didn’t deserve his negligence. How much he wishes it were the other way around.
Allowing himself a moment of release, Matty quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and jumped to his feet. “Anyway, erm….the bags in the kitchen. I- I brought some things that we could- I mean, if you’d allow me- and I completely understand if you’d rather not- to make it up to you….take care of you the way that I should have that night. I’ve bought some things. So we could see what you might like to have on hand for emergencies like that. That is….uhhh- if, of course, you’d ever let me touch you again.”
Amelia smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that very much.”
***
“Okay, and then…once you’re calm, well, I guess I’d wanna check for injuries or something.” Matty was running down a new checklist he’d created to ensure that not a single detail is ever lost on him again. “But, since, I’m days later now, and we didn’t use anything that could hurt you….I’ve drawn you a bath, so, if you’d go in there, and- You enjoy that while I get you some food and water.”
“You’d leave me?” Amelia’s voice sounded needier than she’d intended. “By myself?”
Matty was stumped. It was a good thing they were running this rehearsal. “I- erm…had assumed that you’d want some space.”
She shook her head passionately. “No, no! Not at all. All I wanted, that whole night, was you.”
Matty stood there, blinking rapidly, staring at her face. “Okay, then. I’ll sit by the bathtub? Keep you company…”
She stepped forward, hesitantly, decreasing the space between them. “Please get into the bath? With me?” Matty could tell, by the blushing in her face, that this wasn’t easy for her either. “Want you to hold me, please?”
Matty nodded, silently, and began to undress.
***
“Here, you can uhhh…you can have this to wear.”
Amelia looked down at his extended arm and the t shirt that he was offering, chuckling heartily. It was that old ragged brown t shirt that was not so oversized when he’d first bought it. “You love that horrific thing. It’s like your favorite, for some reason.”
“Yes, and you hate it, but it is my favorite, so….now, it’s yours. You know, to wear on days like that. For- I don’t know. Comfort? Not to be so presumptuous as-“
“Shut up and hand it over before I set it on fire or something.”
***
In bed, Matty wrapped his strong, thick arms around her, squeezing her tight, breathing in her hair. She held onto his bicep, her hand tiny in comparison, stroking his arm, up and down, running her fingers over his tattoos. This, she thought to herself, must be the safest place on earth.
With considerable effort, Amelia wiggled within Matty’s tight grip, turning around so she was face to face with him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling herself closer to kiss him. For the first time ever, Matty was stiff to her touch, his lips passive. It wasn’t long before he pulled away, slightly.
“Amelia- what….we shouldn’t.” He whispered despite them being completely alone.
“Matty, please?”
“I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“You’re not going to.”
“It’d be wrong. To- to take advantage. You’re vulnerable right now, and-“
“So are you.” She placed a kiss to his cheek, smiling faintly as she watched his face grow red.
“It’s my job to protect you- we agreed, I’d be a safe trial. I-“
“Please, I need you. I didn’t get to make you feel good last time. Please? Don’t want you to get into the habit of treating me like glass, I’d hate that.”
When he said nothing in return, she kissed him again, and this time, he kissed her back, his arms easing their grip on her, hands lowering to grab her bum. She moaned softly, smiling against his lips.
Matty hovered over her, now naked, body dipping his head to leave gentle kisses all over her.
“Stunning, you are.” He kissed the space between her breasts; her eyes fluttered shut. “Perfect.” He kissed her a little lower this time. “Gorgeous.” He was halfway to her belly button. Her hands naturally moved to hold his curls between them, her breathing quick and shallow, more desperate the closer that he got to her core.
“So good for me,” he mumbled against her skin, his breath raising goosebumps all over her, which did not go unnoticed by Matty.
He grinned, reveling in his power over her body. “Gonna make you feel so good, darlin,’ I promise.”
“Oh, Matty…” she whined, “please do.” Her neck strained against the pillow; her entire body jolting when she felt Matty’s mouth, suddenly, at her clit. “Fuckkk! Yeah….”
Matty growled, smiling to himself. He forbade his other senses from feeling anything but her. His eyes shut, his ears focused only on her melodious sounds. A zealous worshipper, every breath he drew was all her, taking breaks only to kiss and nib the insides of her thighs, his armpinning her down, firmly, as she writhed and shook. Not even her reflexive pulls at his hair could deter him. He was determined to give all of himself to her.
“Sorry, erm…” he smiled, shyly. “Condom.”
She felt his sudden absence sorely, whining out and calling for him to hurry back.
“I know, I know. Sorry, love.”
She heard him wince and shuffle onto the bed and knew that he was back.
“You ready for me?”
“Mhm, please, please, I need you.”
Matty had to restrain himself from instantly pulling her into his arms to ravage his insatiable lust for her, reminding himself that he wanted this to be gentle, soft, precise, slow.
She felt the slow pressure and opened her eyes to watch him throw his head back in pleasure, a long and drawn out moan leaving his lips.
“Fuuuuckkk mee- Amelia. So, fffuckin good. So tight.”
Matty’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he began to thrust into her, soon finding his rhythm. Once he’d given himself a moment to adjust, his finger was back on her clit, gently stroking it the way he knows she needed.
“Ohhh my god, Matty…” she whimpered.
“I know, my love. I’ve got you.” He leaned forward, taking her hands in his and intertwining their fingers together. He laid on top of her, his chest pressed into hers with the full weight of his body.
“You feel s-so good.” He cried out, the overwhelming pleasure bringing tears to her eyes.
Matty kissing and sucking at the skin underneath her ear put her over the edge. She gasped, incoherently repeating “I- I’m gonna- cum…but it’s - it’s too much.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ve got you, darlin. Let go, it’s gonna feel g- oh my god- good.”
He felt both her hands squeeze his tightly and knew that she wouldn’t hold on much longer.
With a loud cry of his name, she gasped sweetly into his ear, and he felt her clench and gush around him, trembling as she came undone.
Matty himself couldn’t hold on for much either, her squeezing him tightly through her orgasm, sent his own waves of pleasure on the heels of hers, his head falling to her shoulder, he moaned softly, his eyelashes tickling her skin.
Matty thought he’d heard her whisper “I love you” into his ear as the rush of excitement flooded his mind.
***
Neither of them had the heart to be the one to pull away first, so they remained in that intermingled state, basking in the afterglow of that release, nothing but the hot air, and their rapid breathing mellowing out, in the room around them.
Amelia swallowed harshly, her mouth feeling dry even as her body glistened with hers and Matty’s sweat.
“I love you.” She said more clearly this time.
He couldn’t have mistaken her words this time. And if he had any doubt at all, the feeling of her heart beating furiously against his, after it had just calmed down, was unmistakable.
Matty remained perfectly still, his mind blank. It was it racing so quickly that it was impossible to hold onto any thought? He couldn’t tell the difference.
“Matty? I love you.” Amelia spoke again, helpless to stop herself. Now that it was spilling out of her, it was as if the floodgates had opened. She loves him. She loves him. She loves him….
#matty healy fanfiction#matty healy fanfic#matty healy smut#matty healy fluff#matty healy angst#matty healy x y/n#matty healy x oc#matty healy x you#matty healy x reader
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I'm Falasteeni and I can't read/write Arabic, and I only speak it at a childish level. I think being in America, my focus went to learning English instead, and I forgot everything. Every time I try to learn Arabic, I struggle. I also can't dance at ALL, especially dabke. And I can't cook many of our cultural dishes... I feel bad about all of this. There are Arabic classes I'd like to take, but I can't afford them. There are dance classes I'd like to take, but same. I'm not really asking if I'm valid or not, because I don't feel like I am. I guess I just want to point out how fractured I feel from my community, despite having lived in it for my whole life. And I always remember I should've grown up with these things...
i feel you, im bad at arabic and dancing so i feel kinda like a fake and i kinda dont super like cooking lol but something i talked about with a friend of mine recently is that really, palestinian culture is palestinian culture if its done by ANY palestinian. there are palestinians who do not know much arabic in the world. there are some who dont partake in all the types of cultural heritage. but they do partake in other parts.
anything you do as a falestini IS palestinian. i guarentee you out of the literal MILLIONS of us around the world, there is a community that is just your type. i recently found my community despite being geographically far from them by taking a chance and messaging someone on twitter. so like there are niches and there are communities that you'll feel right at home with.
something that i try to do, personally, is reach out to falestini artists and writers online. if you're a writer, i would check out RAWI (radius of arab american writers) and see if you can join in. poetry is a really connective force for me personally. There's also Palestinian Feminist Collective.
also an aspect of falestini culture that i always fall back on: wanting, with our entire hearts and minds, to change the world for the better. resistance is in our very bones. love is in our blood. we grow with the knowledge that a better world IS possible as long as we live and fight for it. and that can happen in any way possible. so remember: you as a falestini are connected to the idea of justice and love because that's part of our culture.
i hope that one day you get to find your falestini community that you feel right at home with. and its difficult but it might be cool to investigate other ways you can contribute to arts and culture. anything you do as a palestinian IS palestinian art and we need it so dearly.
thank you for sending this message.
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It's fine I perservere through everything bc I am just that cool
Also yeah, wtf has happened since I've been gone??? Like? Last I new was the Wilbur stuff and know there's talk of the French Union threatening to sue Quackity (I think? I'm a little confused on the whole thing)
oh god sammie you have missed. so much.
um. ok. nutshell summary. this is gonna be long. (tw: talks about more abuse and SA allegations being brought against other ccs)
other mcyt cc allegations after wilbur:
you know what happened with wilbur. after all the support shelby received, another streamer caitibugzz (another brighton cc) came forward with her own story about being sexually assaulted by a cc at vidcon while she was 18 and he was 26. she didn't name him but like with wilbur it didn't take long for people to figure out she was talking about georgenotfound. anyway, uh, that spiraled into a thing. george said a lot of shit, dream involved himself way too much, it was a mess.
immediately after that, punz's ex girlfriend, andi, came forward and discussed how toxic their relationship was and detailed a time they had sex while she was blackout drunk, which is SA. punz did respond insisting he didn't realize how drunk she was, it turned into a whole thing, andi's response basically boiled down to read both sides of the story and form your own opinion.
also then punz jumped in on whatever the hell was going on with dream and george with george's own allegations and discussed how in his entire friendship with dream he's felt very intimidated to speak out against him and often thought of him as a boss more than a friend. along with that he also brought up a point regarding his ex girlfriend andi, but I'm not going to go into too much detail on that because I don't believe andi wanted all that information to be made public and punz later deleted the posts.
at the same time another thing happened. another cc in the brighton group, lexie marie, had spoken out multiple times about how her ex was emotionally abusive to her and the day before wilbur posted his 'apology', she and shelby even did a whole stream together discussing abuse and their experiences. anyway, lexie's abuser was publicly named as wisp, so yeah he responded with an 'apology' of his own.
NOW AS FOR QSMP:
like a week or two after wilbur's 'apology' was posted, a former admin of one of the qsmp updates accounts came forward on twitter and discussed the terrible working conditions she and all the other admins have been having to deal with working for quackity studios. we learned that the updates accounts and the egg admins were unpaid, and were often pushed to pulling more hours or doing extra work they shouldn't have. this blew up in the community and quackity ended up doing a stream to say he basically has to do an entire restructure of the server because the finances for the server were being severely mishandled and he was under the impression most of these people were getting paid when they were not. (also, during this stream quackity made a quick aside to say that wilbur was going to be removed from the qsmp)
since then, more admins have left the team (agent 18, ramón's current admin) saying they haven't received communication and aren't sure what's going on.
one of the issues the initial whistleblower brought up was that pomme's admin had just recently been removed from the whitelist for the server and kicked from the discord server without being given much of an explanation. the french cc's all collectively said if pomme was not given back her role they would not continue on the server. today pomme's admin revealed herself and made a post saying she still hasn't received any communication with the team and is quitting entirely. dapper's admin resigned in solidarity with her.
then today quackity did another stream discussing how things are taking time because they have to work out a lot of internal legal issues and because it's legal stuff he can't give that many updates. he's also been hesitant to update people because he doesn't want to make false promises, as right now the qsmp does not have enough money to pay the egg admins and they won't return unless he finds funds for that because he's ending all unpaid positions. also, as people have left the project, some have been posting private screenshots from the qsmp discord or from communications with the qsmp team and quackity has said these leaks have been causing issues with the legal stuff they're dealing with, and also what's going on has been misconstrued as a result of these leaks, so that's another reason he's been keeping quiet about things. but he's determined to work this all out and to keep the qsmp going, but he completely understands if people don't want to stick with the project or if people who have worked with it wish to leave.
as far as the union goes, the initial whistleblower was a french admin for the updates account and so when she left the studio she contacted a french union about the unfair working conditions. the union has posted on twitter calling out quackity studios saying they're in violation of french labor laws and that if quackity refuses to communicate with them they will pursue legal action. except today we also learned from one of the union guys on twitter that they have not attempted to email him at all. they made their posts on twitter and said it's quackity's responsible to contact them. for the record, quackity deleted twitter a while ago so he's not on that platform right now. as you can see this raised some eyebrows.
so uh yeah. I'm missing a lot of details I know but I was trying to give as much of a summary as I could hitting all the major points. you have missed literally the most insane past few weeks.
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figure you out
author’s note: the request can be found here
synopsis: the members of seventeen think you look rather scary while dino says otherwise, but who is right?
word count: 1.6k | genre: fluff, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort | pairing: idol! dino x gn! idol! reader | warnings: reader has low self esteem in some parts
you have always been told that you look intimidating, but until the point of getting to know seventeen you never really believed it. you were the leader of the newly debuted group of HYBE, and with that title came many responsibilities; you had never imagined this to be as hard as it was, always keeping everything you had to do as a leader in mind is a tough job for sure, so you being stressed was an understatement.
chan first saw you at the HYBE building, walking to (he supposed was) practice, a frown evident on your face the whole time, only forming into a shy smile when you greeted him with a bow. first he thought you were kind of scary, he never saw you really smile, a somewhat sad and tired look always being prominent on your face. it was rare to see you show many emotions during times he got the chance to see you, but when you did he felt he was hit by cupid; your laugh (which he sadly couldn’t hear often) would always light up the hallway, and he always caught himself smiling when he heard it.
of course it is not a surprise that soon enough the other members of seventeen caught up to his lovesick look when he saw you even for a moment. “chan, are you kidding me? you have a crush on y/n? but how? like no offense or anything, but y/n always gives everyone this angry look and never talks to anyone, it is kinda scary to be honest.” dk asked him when they decided to take a break during dance practice. “and y/n also has a laugh that is so beautiful, i am not threatened by a frown, i want to hear that laugh again, i want to hear it again because i made y/n laugh.” he said while having that warm look on his face again, even just the thought of you made him excited and happy. “also, you are quite rude to be judging a person by their appearance, you know?” chan answered while raising his brows in disagreement. “okay i’m just saying! you really are interested in y/n, huh? i have never seen you defend someone this quickly, well except for our members of course.” dk sighed.
a week after this conversation the members decided to take matters into their own hands; they needed to figure out what kind of person you were, after all it was about their dear youngest member’s emotions, which they wanted to protect at all costs.
the duo of mingyu and scoups took on the responsibility of stalking you after schedules, which you of course didn’t know about. you often stayed behind after schedules so they followed you to the practice room, and peeked in, watching you get to work with your debut song’s choreo, while preparing for your first comeback’s dances aswell. they watched as you fell, trying to learn one of the difficult moves over and over again, with not much success. ten minutes later there you were, on the floor, panting, silently sobbing. “how am i in this group in the first place? why can’t i learn faster? the others depend on me, i need to get this right to help them!” you mumbled to yourself, trying to collect some motivation to continue.
“poor little thing.” scoups said, knowing how difficult it is for a leader to always be on top of the situation. “i remember how hard we had to work even in our rookie days, this brings back memories.” mingyu added. meanwhile you stood up and collected your belongings, ready to leave the room. “oh wait y/n has already finished, let’s go.” mingyu whispered, dragging scoups with him so you wouldn’t see them.
next time the members of seventeen got to see a bit more of you was at lunchtime in the cafeteria of HYBE, where you sat alone, laptop next to you. you were interacting with your fans on Weverse, which they learned was a frequent activity of yours; you wanted to communicate with them as much as you could, so even during lunch you couldn’t miss commenting on posts and telling the fans to always eat and sleep well in cute little videos. after being done with your SNS duties, you continued work with writing lyrics for your already half-finished solo song which you hoped would be included on an album one day, also practicing for helping in future productions for your group.
“woah, y/n is still working even at lunch?” joshua pointed in your direction from the other side, dk whom he was with snapping his head where you sat. “where are the other group members though?” dk questioned, confused. “i just saw them leave as they were done for the day.” joshua replied. “so they really left y/n here alone? man, that is kind of sad.” you finished your lunch and got up, leaving quickly. joshua and dk were curious about where you headed as anyone who was done with their day at work would’ve definitely gone home. well, not you, you went to practice your vocals a bit in the vocal room, they could clearly hear your voice from the halllway. “damn, y/n has a great voice.” joshua said, dk agreeing. “and i didn’t know they had a song like this!” dk raised his brows, further listening to the lyrics. “because they don’t! i think y/n may have written this! so this must be what all that work earlier was about!” joshua figured. it has to be said; they were pretty impressed by your passion and hard work, so much so that they were starting to feel guilty about questioning why chan had a crush on you.
“honestly, y/n is a pretty cool person, next time we shouldn’t judge only depending on a first impression.” scoups said when the members were together at a restaurant, at their monthly dinner meeting. “see? i told you, and i bet y/n is so much more kindhearted, we just haven’t seen enough yet.” chan replied, finally satisfied with his members liking you. to their surprise you entered the room with a mop in your hand, apron on your waist. when you saw them your face went pale for a moment, not knowing how to act with your seniors all at a table on the opposite side. seungkwan was the first to talk to you, saying hi and questioning why you were there dressed like a worker of the place. “well, actually this restaurant is my grandparents’ and on days i have time i always come by to help them, especially with cleaning so they don’t have to do it after closing.” you replied with a small smile. “seriously? this is so considerate of you, on top of everything you still help them, you are so sweet!” chan said as the others were too stunned to speak; never in their lives did they imagine you to be this responsible and humble. “well, i am trying my best to be helpful.” you chuckled, which made chan’s heart jump.
after finishing their meal the members were getting ready to leave when chan spoke up. “i will stay a bit more, seeing if i can help y/n with anything here.” this earned a knowing look from his members, patting him on the back as they left. you came outside only to find him standing in front of you. “do you need help with anything? i thought i might ask you know, it must be hard to handle this all by yourself.” he grinned, to which you replied with a giggle. “thank you, but i don’t need any help. don’t you have somethingto say to me though? perhaps another reason why you stayed behind?” you grinned, waiting for him to realise that you knew; you saw how he looked at you many times when you two ran into each other at the company building. “was i that obvious? this is kind of embarrassing then, as you already know that i want to confess to you.” he blushed. “i was wondering why you never came up to me to be honest.” he looked away. “well, you always looked like you didn’t want anybody to speak to you, or like you could fall asleep every minute, so it wasn’t quite easy to approach you.” he said in a lower tone. “am i really that scary to people around me? for real?” your jaw was on the floor, not believing that the things people say about you always looking kind of unfriendly was true. “yeah…the members thought you seemed too cold-looking fir a period of time…” chan admitted, not daring to look into your eyes. “but
that has changed of course, they really admire you, just like i do.” he quickly added. “i am so sorry, i just look like that, i have many things to do so i don’t get much sleep and i am always lost in thought, so that must explain the frown.” you looked down, feeling bad that the members didn’t like you, even to the point of needing to be convinced somehow. he moved closer to you. “i don’t mind it. i like you the way you are y/n. i think i have been having a crush on you since the first moment i saw you, frown or not, i like really like you, and i want to get to know you better in the future.” he whispered, his eyes looking at your lips. “well i like you too, but are you gonna kiss me already or am i still that scary then?” you mumbled. he didn’t need anything else to give him a green light, kissing you quickly. after pulling apart he laughed. “then would you be mine?” he asked. “i am already yours, chan.”
#wonijinjin#seventeen fluff#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#seventeen#seventeen scenarios#fluff#seventeen dino#lee chan#svt dino#dino x y/n#dino x reader
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Welcome Aboard
A/N: Cranked out my first fic for Carol. All mistakes are mine.
Pairings: Carol Danvers x Reader
Warnings: A little bit of angst and alcohol use
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Carol never has visitors.
When the boarding request pops up on her communications system, she almost blows it to bits, it's a sound she hasn't heard in years. It takes her a few seconds to finally press the button to speak to whoever is waiting on the other side.
"Who's there?" she finally asks.
"Captain Marvel?" a voice responds, "I'm agent y/n, I'm here from S.A.B.E.R. Our comms are down indefinitely, so Fury sent me over to do a briefing."
Carol looks over at Goose, who's stretched out across the navigation station, unbothered by the news of an unexpected guest. Carol tries to emulate the same attitude, striding over to the door to greet you like she's done this plenty of times. She used to at some point, that has to count for something, right?
She loses her bravado as soon as she finds you standing in the entryway.
"Captain Marvel, it's a pleasure to meet you," you stick your hand out and Carol takes it after a beat too long. You don't take offense, Fury gave you the rundown on how long Carol has been isolated. It only took a few minutes to conclude that being a multi-galactic hero is a lonely job.
Carol doesn't stand around for too long, she hurries into the ship after inviting you in.
"Excuse the mess, been a while since someone's been aboard," she apologizes, tossing a single loose shirt into a hamper in the corner and tidying a pillow that was definitely knocked over by Goose.
"It's no problem, are you ready to start the briefing?"
"Sure, you want a drink or anything? Besides water, I think there's a few bottles of brew from Aladna hiding in the back of the fridge," Carol is already halfway to the kitchen, oblivious to the quizzical look on your face.
"I'm okay, Captain, honest," you flash her a friendly smile, and she feels the air escape her lungs. Her shoulders descend from her ears as she walks over to the chair across from you. You're too busy pulling up the agenda to notice.
Carol gingerly takes a seat, her hands rubbing vigorously against her thighs. She might be the first person to grate their hands on denim jeans at this rate. You're still looking for the agenda when Carol springs up from her seat, "are you sure you're not hungry? I'm so sorry, I should have offered before-"
"Captain?"
"Yes?" Her eyebrows were about to launch into orbit, she was already a few paces away from the kitchen, scraping the farthest corners of her mind for that recipe she learned from a family she helped a few galaxies ago.
"I'm okay, really."
"Right," she hurries over to the chair again and lets her body unceremoniously drop into it, vowing to herself she'll never get up from this spot unless she absolutely needs to. She looks up to see you waiting patiently for her go-ahead. Despite traveling to the furthest edges of the universe, she's never seen anything like the color of your eyes.
She collects herself quickly before saying, "let's get started."
---------------
The briefing was mostly successful. Turns out your agenda was outdated, the correct one must have been wiped out from the surge that knocked out the comms. You had to ad-lib everything that was left out and corrected anything that was no longer relevant. Carol watched you intently the whole time, like the fate of the universe depended on scheduled ship maintenances and admin tasks.
"There's still one thing, it was from a meeting last week," you stand, pacing back and forth trying to jog your memory.
"I'm sure it's in there somewhere, maybe we can take a look with these?" Carol is holding two memory dive devices. You've never had to use them before, but you know everything there is to know about how they work.
"Good idea Captain."
"You can call me Carol, agent, it's alright," she hands you one of the devices.
"Thank you," you just nod and take the device, Carol pretends the way your fingers brushed against hers for a fleeting second didn't just make her spine tingle. She lets you take her bed while she sits in the tattered recliner she's been meaning to get rid of.
----------------
It all happens so fast.
One second you're watching the memory of you sitting in a briefing room with Fury and your colleagues, the next, you're watching Carol's memory of Maria telling her to take Goose.
"The cancer came back."
You can only watch a few more blurs of Carol's memory before you jolt upright. Your body is so tense, all you can do is let out a shuddering breath and a few tears.
"Y/n?" Carol is already by your side, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
Her voice is distant, like she's calling to you from the other end of the galaxy in the deepest cave. You're still trying to get your bearings, that was far too much pain packed into what was only seconds with the mind dive.
"Can you look at me? Please?"
She sounds much closer now, you turn to look at her and suddenly remember where you are. Your breath is still unsteady as you wipe the half-dried tears on your cheeks, embarrassed over being reduced to tears.
"That...those were your memories," you finally speak, Carol sighs in relief. Her hands have been hovering between your shoulders and face this whole time, unsure if touching you was the best idea.
"Yeah, they were," she straightens up, taking the device from your hands and tossing both aside.
"I've been trying to remember everything...before, well, everything," Carol starts again, looking at anything but you, "I'm so sorry, if I knew that was going to happen I wouldn't have-"
She's cut off by the feeling of your arms pulling her against you. She almost forgot how much she loves hugs, almost.
Carol returns the favor and wraps her arms around you. You both stay like that for a while. Loss is one of the first lessons a hero learns, but it doesn't mean they're impervious to its effects, especially with how often it happens. Carol is trying to convey how sorry she is with every circle she rubs into your back. You only part when it seems like the dust has finally settled.
"I think I'll take that beer now," you say after heavy sigh. Carol gives you a sympathetic smile before heading to the fridge.
----------------
Carol explains everything that you saw.
She also tells you stories about her life before this one, and her adventures from roaming the galaxies. You did a poor job of trying to stifle your giggling when she mentioned being married to Aladna's prince to resolve a "legal issue." That earned you some side eye and an eventual smirk.
Carol swears she's mostly made peace with everything that happened, but you both know it weighs heavy on her from time to time.
Especially during long stretches of solitude like this one.
Goose saunters over to you and spills over your feet belly-up with a lazy "meow," a prime position for scratches.
"Goose is probably stoked to get scritches from someone other than me," Carol quips into the mouth of her beer.
"I could do this all day," you say without a second thought and Carol's smile reaches her eyes.
"Carol, I want my agent back," Fury chimes in over comms.
"I'll think about it," Carol says coolly as she takes a swig from her beer, you stand up out of habit from hearing Fury's voice.
"He's right, I should probably go, there's going to be million things to do now that comms are back up."
"Of course, let me walk you out," Carol sets her bottle down and leads you to the doorway. Seems like you only walked through there a few minutes ago. Time is playing tricks on you, it seems.
"Stay safe out there," Carol says.
"You too, Carol," you trade smiles, committing hers to memory by the time she pulls you in for a hug.
"Thank you," she whispers, hugging you tighter for a few seconds before finally letting you go.
----------------
"So?" Fury is the first to greet you when you arrive at the station.
"Pretending comms is down just to give her human interaction is kind of evil...yet genius," you shake your head with a smile.
"I know she gets lonely out there, she'll never admit it. This is the least I can do," he shrugs before turning on his heel. He walks a few steps before turning to you again.
"Same time next month, agent y/n?"
"Of course sir."
He gives you a curt nod with a knowing smirk before finally leaving.
#works#alright#im gonna let you in on a secret#captain marvel is my all time favorite superhero#which is why it's taken me forever to write something for her#she's a point-fiver for me so it's hard to fathom writing anything for her#but here's an attempt#carol danvers#captain marvel#carol x reader#captain marvel x you#carol x you#captain marvel x reader#carol danvers x reader
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