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nosferatu-pvssy · 2 years

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About the concept of "alternative universe" applied to the creation of the vc series.

Disclaimer: if the idea of this series being an au is something you enjoy or if it helps you in some way, then this post isn't about you. I'm just commenting the concept in itself, what I think about this as a way of dealing with radical changes. If you like to think of it as an au, don't mind me because I have nothing against you. I just want to express what I feel for this topic.

Lately I've been noticing that it's becoming a popular practice in many fandoms (so not only ours) to tell other people or to themselves "just take it as if it's an au" every time a umpteenth remake gets made and it's clearly of a lower quality than the original. What I ask myself is: is it really healthy for us fans to tell ourselves that whenever we see the story we love be portrayed by completely discarding the unexpressed potential of the original plot to replace it with what is more convenient for them to insert?

My theory is that this might be a coping mechanism to deal with the big disappointment that the directors are giving you so often that at this point we've reached an era where all the media that is surrounding us lately is only garbage. We literally have only garbage to watch. It's because you're noticing that some big damage has been done to the story or that there's the risk of it happening in the future. Trust your instincts, because they're telling you the truth. If it really was an au for you, you wouldn't have had that "oh, no. What are they doing..." feeling in your heart. You wouldn't have had that moment in which you had to tell yourself "ok, let's say it is an au. It's an au, it's an au..." to fix that sensation of strong disappointment in your heart.

If it was an au for real, the directors would have told the fans that it was. I say that it's a coping mechanism because lately we've been having only tv series and movies about remakes that are produced in great quantity and all at once. This speed in the filming process and oversaturation of the same kind of piece of media will inevitably lower the quality to the point of making it fit only to a very young audience or people with very low expectations. It's like when you hear people talking about how shoes (or any article of clothing, it's just an example) created handmade by expert artisans last longer and look better than shoes that to be producted in such impressive amounts they have to use ultra cheap materials and even cheaper sewing and assembling process to gain the maximum profit with the minimum effort. It wouldn't be possible to create something of high quality in such short times. And the prices are higher for artisans' creations, because you pay the quality of the materials and of the craft, while industrial products will always cost less because they are actually giving you less. The same is happening for shows, and for now I think that's what's happening with The vampire chronicles' one too.

Since I'm very passionate about cinematography, I watched many videos of famous directors and dubbers of classics. In interviews, when it came the moment of answering to questions like "what do you think about the modern style of production?" some of them said things like "I feel that there's a big difference since everything now gets created so fast. When I was younger, every classic had people behind it with great care for the details. And care for details, for quality, always takes time. High speed doesn't allow you to stop frequently to fix what's obsolete. You'd slow down the project."

Now, as I said earlier, if you genuinely like to imagine this show as an au and you're having fun with it, who am I to tell you to stop engaging with it? To stop creating fanarts, ffs, posts of any kind? What am I, a monster? It's ridiculously obvious that you MUST have fun with what you like. For example, I still remember when the news of the Atlantis' book arrived and the fandom got blown away by how crack this was for the story. It was already considered absurd the fact that Lestat had met God himself, so imagine the idea of them meeting MERMAIDS (we still weren't sure about aliens being involved. It was still a rumor at that point). But the idea of imagining them as mermaids was so fun to play with that it became an au and amazing content got created. If you are feeling this excitement, being against your approach would be wrong.

So I am talking to those who expected to have the full (and still for the major part unexplored even in the books) potential of this saga expressed by the tv series, instead of being substituted by the new plot invented by Amc. The ones who felt the pain of the damage that most probably has been done to the original story that Anne Rice fought (maybe a little too much) to make it reach the big screen and that now to convince themselves that there has been no damage at all (and to try to push themselves to like it anyway) they say "it's an au". Or because "it's because we don't have nothing else, so at least if I tell myself that it will be more bearable".

Now what I ask myself is: why are we doing this to ourselves? Why are we bowing our heads and opening our palms to accept the crumbles? Why the crumbles and not the whole meal like we deserve? Because that's what it feels we are gonna have, let's be honest. The crumbles of the original story with the rest completely invented by AMC to conveniently fit in their project to use this tv series to rebrand their channel, mutilating one big horror story to make it fit into the smaller box for tv series about "gothic romance" (as Rolin Jones said) and not about gothic horror as this story was meant to be.

Accepting to only receive the crumbles because "otherwise we won't have anything" is actually the main thing that will ultimately make us have nothing good. Because if you show the producers that you're not ok with them taking away everything that's inside to leave only the shell, they'll stop and understand that they have to work better to gain your attention again; they need their audience to make their business go on. While if you hate this project but you don't say or do nothing about it to express your doubts, then you'll exactly get what you hate.

Now you'll tell me: how do you know that they're doing a mess? It's not a matter of knowing for sure, it's about being free to express our doubts according to the many official AND VERY QUESTIONABLE TBH infos that have been communicated to us. Just like the ones that are excited about this have the right to party, I have the right to be openly upset because not everybody can like what they've communicated through the interviews. I mean, look at what they're planning to do to Night Island:

How can I not be upset or at least confused about this? Every night is a near-disaster? Night island? A place that is entirely owned by one of the most feared vampires that would burn you to the fucking ground immediately if you start misbehaving in a territory that is so strictly his? What's the point of starting from zero a territory born with the intention of being under his control since day one, then? Oh yeah, let's invest on properties that will only give me problems :D

And since secrecy is one of the vital things for the Ricean vampire society to coexist peacefully with humans, why there is this distinction between these vampires with even less braincells than Homer Simpson and the very few smart vampires that have to look after them like babysitters?? Where are we, in a kindergarten?? Aren’t these idiots interested in saving their own asses by hiding? What do they gain from going apeshit?

And most importantly: Where is Armand in all of this? Is he too busy staring at a wall in his toilet while he pretends to poop?

And wasn’t Akasha awakening from her slumber the plot of Night Island? Why the hell is it irresponsible vampires now?? I think I can tell you why: This is happening because..............they’re not really able to write their interactions complex and intelligent as they are in the og story to make this tv show interesting enough to keep the audience hooked for many seasons. Since they’re monsters, it’s easy money to just play the card of them simply going around killing people with The Squad running after their asses to save the day. I wonder if they’ll call Scooby-Doo and his gang and I hope that Daphne and Velma will be turned into vampires. I’m also ready to ship Scooby with Mojo, tbh.

And this is not the only thing that for now seems like lazy writing, tbh.

Take Lestat, for example. They thought: what is the easiest and most effective way to make him look cool without us putting too much effort? Let’s make him look like a basic dangerous vampire. That’s it. That seems his entire personality right now and I hope I’m wrong because tbh the first impression that book Lestat gives to someone is always something that I imagine very similar to how Jamie Campbell Bower is in Will, so this young man with an attitude and even phisical appearance that screams “Not only I’m mean and I can only mean trouble in your life, but I’m also so beautiful that you can’t deny me”. Like, even his beauty LOOKS MEAN, because it's canon that he appears like the villain just by his looks (which amc Lestat clearly doesn't). But it’s not only a question of being mean. Lestat is a manipulative and mischievous person, he’s malicious and sly. His evilness is more tending to the “queen bee” in a high school behavior, more petty and not refined, than the simple “oooh im a scary vampire”/”Louis I want to know you :)” with such a...much sweeter behaviour, it seems? He looks like...JUST SOME BLONDE GUY TBH. AND HE’S JACKED?? WHERE IS HIS FELINE BEAUTY?? HIS LEAN BODY? And do you call THAT gorgeous blonde hair??

And also, let’s remember that Lestat isn’t exactly.............refined and patient enough to lure a human in his web with such a calm way of carrying himself that oscillates with creepy/violent moments. That is Armand, remember?

Lestat’s technique is always tending towards a sensual seduction, there’s always something that you can feel (as a human) that is driven by malicious sexual lust and that he’s up to no good. He calls himself gentleman death because he knows that for a short period of time he has to fake that with the human he wants to kill. But with the ones he wants to turn and keep to himself for eternity, he doesn’t have the patience to use the mask of the gentleman he’s only able to keep on for 5 minutes because he knows they are bound to have him around every night whether they like it or not. And here he switches to his sly type of approach: since he didn’t want to simply kill Louis, to turn him in order to exploit him for his fortune he used that moment of weakness due to Paul’s death, so not through romantic conversations (or any type of conversation at all). Lestat saw Louis’ money and inherited it by “marrying” Louis through the Blood. With Antoine and Claudia the same, turned in order to gain something from them. Lestat is a brute, always perceived as a brute by Louis at the beginning. Louis is the smart one of the couple, remember? Louis had the chance to study more, to be taught how to behave like a true gentleman, Lestat sadly not due to the difficult situation of his family. And not only that. Lestat among the perks he has (so yeah, not only flaws) has this pretty comical side, he has a strong and very characteristic dark sense of humor that I think should have shone through already...and let me tell you, I think we won’t see it even in the future.

Another example of lazy writing is how they changed Louis’ personality to make him have “more of a spine”. As if the original Louis wasn’t enough. When I see all of these people saying “now I like Louis more, before he was just a whining little bitch that I couldn’t stand” I wonder if they like Amc Louis because he’s an “upgraded/better version” of this character or simply someone else that they put in the place of a character that they actually never liked. Because let’s tell the truth to ourselves: Louis has never been a character easy to love. People tried to sell us this idea because he’s the first vampire protagonist we meet, because he’s exceptionally handsome and because he has been labeled as the most empathetic vampire when actually his difficult position in his very first vampire years pushed him to be almost an antagonist for himself and for Claudia.

I suspect that Louis is one of those people who tend to froze and almost “play dead” when they’re overwhelmed by external threats. He tries to keep calm as much as he can, almost dissociating in his poised gentleman role that serves as comfort zone until reaching the breaking point in which he explodes and kicks everyone’s asses.

But what does he do of detrimental in those passive moments?

He doesn’t do nothing to solve the problem until someone else takes the lead (with all the due exceptions). Claudia, Armand and Lestat had this role in his life of those years, all 3 of them carrying Louis who only accepted their will. A clear example of how unnerving his behavior was is proven by when Claudia said that line about how despite the fact that Louis is the love of her life, he’s so unassertive that she has arrived to hate him. Louis had become a deathweight in Claudia’s and also his life. He wouldn’t have even thought about searching for someone who would have efficiently substituted him when he was thinking about leaving with Armand if it wasn’t for Claudia herself forcing her will on him to create Madeleine for her. Always Claudia the driving force, always others. So much stillness in him that it brought Claudia to scream at him “do you even love me?? Do you even care about me??”.

The og Louis doesn’t run away from Lestat, he was already calmly walking towards death. That was Daniel, remember? Daniel ran away from Armand because he was rightfully scared to be killed by a vampire. But since that ship is no longer existing then we can use their characteristics because who cares, right?

All these changes in his personality have been made because in the era we find ourselves now, if the protagonists are not relatable to us then we loose our interest for the show. If we don’t see our mannerisms replicated on screen (even by monsters), the mass screams “booooriiiing”. The attention has shifted from the wonder of discovering new worlds, new behaviors we would have never expected to “oooh I would have done that too. This is a great series.”

If we can’t make memes about that character, if we can’t find scenes where we can scream “OMG MEEEEE. me when...you when....your mom when...” we discard it. Louis has the role to be us, now. Not to be himself, no. To be US (while Lestat looks like an npc random vampire).

As for Claudia...look that girl is really stunning. Every time I look at her I admire her beauty and she looks really talented. As I said under another post, she has a huge potential as a vampire in the series. If the series had been made faithfully, she would have deserved a very important role because she has a very piercing presence. Only not for Claudia. I’m sorry, she’s too old and being a teenager girl forever is not as frightening as Rolin Jones tried to fool us into believing. She can live her life normally. The whole point of Claudia was that she was destined to die since her birth. She was destined to tragedy. But she as a character makes me think that the only resolution was that of making the vampire chronicles as a GOOD animated series, as macabre as possible.

And can we talk about the fact that they’ve set the whole story closer to our current era because it was clearly cheaper and easier to buy everything necessary for a roaring ‘20s scenario and for our current times?? Like literally zero effort... EVEN USING COVID AS PART OF THE PLOT, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WEEEEEE do they really think we are interested to this universe because we want to see OURSELVES in it and not THEIR story?? What sense does it have for me to be interested in watching something that I already saw, something that I EVEN LIVED and not their mysterious and foreign world??

AND HE EVEN USED AS AN EXCUSE THE FACT THAT HE CHOSE THIS TO MAKE IT MORE RELATABLE TO US (in full 2020 tv series production style, my compliments). NO GIRL YOU DID IT BECAUSE YOUR BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW SEEMS 5 CENTS WITH A BUBBLEGUM ATTACHED TO IT. DO YOU THINK WE’RE FUCKING STUPID OR SOMETHING???

*deep sigh* ANYWAY, I know that now I’ll only be taken as an evil person or something like that, but believe me: I’m the first one who is hoping I’m wrong. What would I gain by being right? I’d only have a lame series to watch if I am. If I win this “argument”, I can only loose.

Below the cut there is what I think about the references they said they’re gonna use for the Night Island series:

I don’t know guys...even the reference they gave us. I watched The White Lotus to be sure of what I wanted to talk about and...what the fuck? A drama-comedy where there’s Jennifer Coolidge with her usual type of character (which I love because she’s an icon, but what does her kind of humor have to do with the themes of the vampire chronicles?); two girls that when they get stoned they do the asmr, in which they make noises close to each other’s faces; a father that shows his dick on camera to talk about his balls on and on. Anyway, it’s not a bad series by itself. I’ve enjoyed it because very important themes have been discussed, but HOW they did it is what I don’t like for the vc series. How can I say it...it’s like seeing very important matters portrayed with a style that “stays in the middle”. It oscillates between the middle and the superficial and I ask myself: “Is this the right approach for the vampire chronicles?”. For the White Lotus series it was, because that’s that tv series’ style and they also wanted to keep it short. But is it ok for the vampire chronicles’ series? I don’t think so, but eh since it’s only a “gothic romance” now...

And also: the fact of going through important issues of our society as the main theme is something that I can see fit for a series about humans as protagonists, but is it as the main theme of a vampire story? Of course things that will be relatable to us will be present in their human past for obvious reasons, it's inevitable. But as the main focus like the producers of the White Lotus did? Idk, I hope they'll handle it well because it's something tricky to do.

And as for the second reference: I thought that The Viper Room was another series or a movie from which taking inspiration but it's actually a real place? And it's the bar where RIVER PHOENIX DIED?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

#All the parts that have been put in bold are not meant to make me sound more aggressive but to make such a long text easier to read #also to highlight what I'm focused on more #the vampire chronicles #the vampire chronicles amc #interview with the vampire amc #vc tv #amc vc

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beneaththetangles · 2 years

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Call of the Night: Sick, Lonely Humans (and Vampires)

Arisa is the second most popular waitress at Maid Café Vamp. Yes, that’s right, second. She was first, but then was supplanted by an actual vampire, Midori, when the latter joined the establishment.

But that’s still pretty good, right? Second is nothing to scoff at. To be honest with you, if I was the second best in my occupation at work, I think I would feel satisfied. But Arisa isn’t like me. Despite not letting on about it, it’s revealed later in episode ten of Call of the Night that she feels insecure about her position, so much so that she hatches a scheme to turn things around that ultimately blows up in her face.

Having been led to Maid Café Vamp by Midori, Nazuna and Ko meet Arisa and offer to help her with a stalker problem she’s been having. An anonymous social media user is posting candid photos of the maid online. But as Ko eventually deduces, the stalker is none other than Arisa herself, using the account to create the kind of buzz that might raise her back to number one so that she can, what, get more tips? Gain more fame and influence?

No, it’s nothing so superficial. Arisa deceives her co-workers and new friends so that she can gain a measure of self-worth, a feeling she lost when the top spot slipped away from her.

When confronted with her deed, and with her head hanging down in shame and humility, Arisa says she’ll resign her position. But right at the moment of resignation, comes another voice, one that speaks with authority and surprising gentleness (for a vampire):

“Arisa-chan, it’s okay to be ill.”

Midori, who is right at the center of this situation since it’s her popularity that Arisa has reacted so strongly against, offers the other maid words of understanding and grace. “You made a bit of a mistake this time,” she says before adding, “humans are pretty much all sick in their own ways.”

The tension and embarrassment begin to melt away as Midori explains how all people are “sick,” including all the waitresses and patrons at their café, also hinting that she has the same type of self-worth issues as Arisa.

Midori doesn’t let her off the hook completely, but nevertheless, Arisa begins to feel relief in knowing that she’s not alone.

The acknowledgment that we are all suffering under the same condition can be powerful and moving. While most of us accept that we’re imperfect, to hear it said out loud confirms the condition and keeps us from the isolation we can experience when our minds relentlessly impress upon us the guilt of sin, the loneliness that it brings, and the lie that we are our sin and nothing more.

I remember times in my own life when I’ve dealt with some secret sin. While I understood both that others were working through their own sins and that we all as Christians are forgiven through grace, I still believed the lie that “you’re really messed up, more than any reasonable person should be.” And then there were times, too, when I felt relief and freedom as each member of an accountability group admitted that we were dealing with profound sins and issues in our lives, if not exactly the same ones.

There’s something godly about the open sharing of our imperfections. If we think about it, Midori’s approach here is reminiscent of Christ’s response every time he encountered sinners, maybe most famously with the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11).

Throughout his ministry, religious leaders tried to play “gotcha” with Jesus. The Pharisees, furious that this “upstart” would say that they—the experts specially appointed by God to lead the people in religious life—were neither in compliance with the letter nor the heart of the law that they followed so systematically, sought to discredit Jesus by attempting to show that his teachings were not in accordance with scripture. In this specific situation, a woman caught in adultery is dragged to where Jesus is teaching, thrown down before him, and surrounded by a crowd ready to stone her to death, as was the penalty called for by the law. Would Jesus, a champion of women and the downtrodden, approve of the execution, or would he deny scripture?

Jesus does neither. In fact, at first he just hunches down and draws in the dirt. Can you imagine? A public execution, in which the community members themselves are the executioners, is about to occur, and Jesus just traces the sand as if there’s no pressure on him and the woman at all. After a time, he replies to the crowd: You can stone her, but only one who is perfect can carry out the judgment.

One by one, the surrounding crowd—the older (and perhaps wiser) and then then the younger—walk away, apparently convicted of their own imperfections, leaving the woman unharmed. Jesus, who had bent down on the ground to draw in the dirt again, then asks the woman where her accusers have gone and if any remain to condemn her. She responds that no one is left, and Jesus tells her that he won’t condemn her either (though as the only perfect one, he has the right to), and instead tells her she should leave her life of sin.

Like Arisa, this woman has been publicly exposed, unable to hide her deeds. But rather than turn away in disgust, both Midori and Jesus approach with compassion. In her moment of exposure, Arisa must have felt so alone. I imagine that for the adulterous woman, she must also have felt abandoned, without a single ally—until she was brought before Jesus.

Arisa, too, found an unexpected ally in Midori. She no doubt expected to be met with anger and derision from her friends and colleagues, but instead receives understanding.

But while the episode models this life-giving shift in focus really well, it’s still missing something. Midori can only go so far, for as she extends her metaphor of illness to all humanity (and to vampires, too), she includes herself. And both by that self-admission and a lack of any hope beyond the advice to just “accept that you’re sick,” Midori indicates that she does not know the cure.

But for us, there is a hope. There is a remedy to the disease that infects all humankind, and it is in the person of Christ. Remember what Jesus tells the woman: he will not condemn her. She is forgiven of her sin. This is the cure that God offers us as well: a forgiveness not based on what we do—which deserves punishment—but based on who God is—One who demonstrates love to a people who don’t deserve it. This is the gospel, that the perfect God of heaven gifts us a sure and certain hope that we cannot attain for ourselves. This is the “good news”—without it, we are hopeless.

Jesus also follows up by instructing the woman to stop living in her sin. A life impacted by the hope of Christ leads to transformation in which our lives exhibit more and more the fruits of the Spirit as we leave sin behind and grow in faith.

And this is a great promise of the Christian life. Like Arisa, when our thoughts and deeds are exposed to the light, our shameful condition is revealed. But also like Arisa, we are loved by one who has the right to turn away, yet instead reminds us that we’re not alone, and that we are not the only ones suffering from this disease. In fact, we are like everyone else, and it is Christ himself that gives us hope by standing by us, saving us, and pointing us toward a better life.

Humans are pretty much all sick in their own ways, you know? This is true. But thank God that we have the hope of salvation and transformation in Christ, who has come to be our physician, to treat and cure us so that in him, we are sick no more.

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Call of the Night is available for streaming on HiDIVE.

#Anime #Christianity #Call of the Night #Yofukashi no Uta #Grace #Articles #Author: TWWK

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local-redhead-bookworm · 2 years

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Eddie’s Possible Return as a Vampire

So there are a lot of “Eddie coming back as a vampire” theories floating around right now, and I’m gonna throw mine on the pile. I don’t trust the Duffers to actually follow through with all the vampire references they’ve included so far, but on the other hand, I am In Denial so let’s go.

Right off the bat (hehe), Eddie is associated with the supernatural. His first line is “the devil has come to America” and his intro song is “I Was A Teenaged Werewolf” by The Cramps, for crying out loud. His band is named Corroded Coffin. And let’s look at one of our earliest shots of him

I’ve pointed this out before, but look. Brick walls, a throne, candles, heavy draperies, the coffin shape behind him. All vampiric imagery. We also have Mike explicitly mention Kas the Bloody-Handed, who was a vampire and crucial to Vecna’s defeat.

Then we have the Creel house. An old, decrepit mansion with something evil lurking in the attic. It’s surrounded by a thunderstorm and a swarm of bats. Even Vecna’s mindscape is tinted red and the ground looks like it’s covered in blood. Vampires could also shapeshift in a lot of lore, which Vecna does.

The Hawkins crew makes mention of vampires several times. Max makes a joke about driving a stake through Vecna’s heart, and Steve actually asks, “Is he, like, a vampire?” My first thought was that Steve would become some sort of vampire after being bitten by the demobats. Max actually attempts to stab Vecna with a long piece of wood.

The Mind Flayer has also been associated with some vampiric traits, particularly the abilities that they grant their spawn:

1. Superhuman speed and strength

2. A two-way connection that lets them spy on others

3. Near-invulnerability

Then there are vampires’ weaknesses.

1. The sun. Billy is burned by the sun in s3.

2. Holy water. While none of the flayed are ever exposed to it, it is notable that the Party weakens the Mind Flayer’s hold on Billy the most in the sauna.

A few other vampire /Dracula motifs:

1. Mental institutions

2. Rats

3. A Van Helsing-type vampire hunter who is typically Christian (Jason perhaps?)

4. Typically an association with demons or the unholy

But here’s where we get into the actual meat of the theory. Eddie was bitten by demobats when he (presumably) died. For a person to be turned into a vampire, they usually have to die first. Eddie is dead, and his body was left in the Upside Down.

Vecna was also weakened by his recent match with Nancy, Robin, and Steve. With everything in the Upside Down, is Vecna siphoning off some of Eddie’s life force and turning him into a pawn out of the question?

Now, I have very little trust left in the Duffers’ capability of foreshadowing. But they do love their homages to ‘80s media, and the ‘80s were a great time for vampires, with films like The Lost Boys, shows like Vampire Hunter D, and the release of the first Castlevania game, to say nothing of all the previously existing vampire movies at the time. It might never happen, but there’s definitely an opportunity for the Duffers to try some vampire resurrection stuff.

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things analysis #stranger things theory #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 spoilers #eddie munson will be possessed #eddie munson will return #my posts #vampire eddie munson

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lindevi · 5 months

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Media Favorites of 2023

Who can't believe that 2023 is nearly over? *raises hand* As the year winds down, this seems like the time to reflect on the things that helped us or brought us joy. The following is a list (not exhaustive) of my favorite apps, books, music, TV, and video games from the last year, including many that I would recommend to others. You can find my list from 2021 here. (I missed compiling this list in 2022, in no small part because I was sampling eastern Germany’s best Christmas Markets all through December.)

Apps

Airalo. My new go-to for international data, but you’ll need an unlocked phone. I was able to save a ton of money by setting up a second e-SIM to access Japanese mobile data networks. (It cost $10 for 10GB of data across 30 days, which was plenty for the week I spent there, and much cheaper compared to my phone plan’s offerings.) I wish I’d heard of this before my trips to England and Europe this year, but I was able to try it out in Japan successfully. I’ll definitely be making use of this app when traveling in the future. The only downside is that I can’t have both e-sims active, so I had to restart my phone in order to check my text messages. Luckily, most communication is done over apps these days instead of SMS, so I wasn’t missing much.

Reverso. This app pulled more than its weight for me while I was traveling abroad this summer. The thing I liked most about it is how it pulls up example sentences so you can help see the context and usage of a given word. It also saves your searches for you, so if you were a more disciplined language student than me, you could write down any new vocabulary in a notebook to study later. Also, it’s free and works fairly well offline, and it’s able to handle multiple languages in the same app.

Vivino. When in France, drink as the French do, I suppose. But when you’re at the supermarket trying to decide between the many, many wines available for less than 10€, this app helps to narrow down the field. Scanning the label gives you the user score for that vintage, plus a personalized rating for how it compares to previous wines you’ve enjoyed. By rating the wines I tried, I was able to get a better sense of my preferred styles and remember which labels to avoid in the future. It was also excellent to have on hand when we went to Bordeaux and sampled various Grand Crus. The app helped me to get a sense for how much those bottles would fetch back home, and whether it was worth it to buy it in France to bring home or to seek it out at my local liquor store.

Books

Dracula by Bram Stoker. The vampire book that started it all (well, not quite), this one really does live up to its reputation as a classic. A few years ago, I read Stoker’s The Jewel of Seven Stars and enjoyed it tremendously (it even served as the inspiration for a Dark Sun one-shot scenario I wrote based around Queen Tara), so I’m not sure what took me so long to get to Dracula. The epistolary style is really well done and should serve as a reference point for any game masters who long to add handouts to their campaigns. It’s inspired me to try running Night’s Black Agents in the new year.

Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. Apparently this book is the first in an urban fantasy series I’ve been sleeping on for some time. The easy comparison is Storm Front, the first book in the Dresden Files, but I have to say that this one comes out on top re: modern wizard investigator stories, mostly because of the protagonist’s sense of humor and the audiobook narrator’s brilliant delivery. I think fans of British TV will find themselves very much at home with this book. I had the happy accident of being in London while reading this, and I had been exploring Covent Garden and the alleys surrounding the Royal Opera House immediately before reading the finale, which helped tremendously when picturing the final scenes.

Slaying the Dragon by Ben Riggs. With the news of the recent Hasbro layoffs affecting the D&D team at Wizards of the Coast, this book feels like required reading to understand some of the boom and bust cycles of D&D (although, sadly, D&D seems to be doing better than ever, and the layoffs appear to be mandated to help cover losses elsewhere in the company). It’s hard to fact-check/cross-reference this book because so much of it is original research and interviews done by the author, but that’s precisely why it’s a must-read for fans of the franchise.

Music

All Quiet on the Western Front (Soundtrack from the Netflix Film). One word: haunting. The main “melody” is extremely simplistic, but it fits the subject matter so well. I also recommend the movie if you play any 20th century-based wargames or read any history. I found it interesting that this was only the first time a German production company adapted it from the book.

Seelie by CLANN. I’m not sure how to categorize this album, except it’s incredibly ambient and dark and pagan (especially Celtic). The tracks all kind of blend together in a good way, making it excellent for writing or focus work.

Gris (Original Game Soundtrack). Another great soundtrack I put on repeat this year, mostly while reading. It’s melancholic, sweeping, hopeful. I’ve never played the video game, but if it’s half as good as the score, it’ll be quite good.

Movies/TV

Barbie. I went for a “Barbenheimer” double-feature this summer, and I did not expect Barbie to hit way harder than Oppenheimer did. Ryan Gosling might have stolen the show, but the story and the feels really made this movie stay with us. Coming from a franchise development/IP approval perspective (and this is where I have to do the disclaimer that my opinions are my own, I’m not speaking on behalf of my employer Asmodee), I’m shocked that Mattel let this get made, but I’m so glad they did.

Blue Eye Samurai. (Netflix) I had little idea this was coming until a few weeks before the release, but this show blew me away and shattered any expectations I had for it. The character development, the animation, the voice acting, the themes… it’s hard to find faults with the show (although, perhaps Mizu’s ending was unexpected). If you enjoy samurai cinema or anime, if you’re at all interested in the history of Japan, or if you’re simply an appreciator of animation, this is a must-watch.

Vienna Blood. (PBS) I like to joke that I have a grandmother’s taste in TV, because BBC/ITV period dramas make up so much of my streaming diet, but this is a mystery/detective show first and foremost. Instead of Sherlock and Watson, you’ve got Detective Rheinhardt and Max Liebermann. Max is a Jew in 1900s Vienna and a student of Freud’s work, with the psychoanalysis lending the show an interesting frame, but I’ve also really appreciated how important his family is to the show. I’ve found it really fascinating how they explore the many peoples of the Austro-Hungarian empire before its collapse, and it’s made me want to run a Cthulhu by Gaslight campaign in Vienna (elements of which I might pull forward into the NBA game).

Video Games

Baldur’s Gate 3. (PC) It shouldn’t come as a surprise that someone whose hobbies center on Dungeons & Dragons and other roleplaying games should thoroughly enjoy this game, but I’m certain that even folks who have never rolled a d20 will be delighted by this CRPG from Larian Studios. The writing and voice performances are phenomenal, and the sheer amount of content (and thus, replayability) is staggering. I’ve logged over 60 hours playing and can easily see myself playing for 60 more. I’ve only just started Act II, so no spoilers, please!

Horizon: Forbidden West. (PS5) I was a bit of a latecomer to this game after it released in 2023, but once I started, I could barely put it down. Amazing characters? Check. Phenomenal gameplay? Check. Open-world exploration that actually evokes the feeling of discovery? Check. My only quibble is that the story isn’t quite as brilliant as the first game, but given that the first game was a masterpiece and easily in my top 5 games of all time, that’s a high bar to clear. I admit I bought a PlayStation 5 just so I could play the Burning Shores expansion when it came out in April, and while personally I had been shipping Aloy with Kotallo, I appreciate the romantic subplot being included.

What were some of your favorites from 2023? Did your list have any of the same titles as mine?

Featured image by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

#book recommendations #music recommendation #movie recommendation #app recommendations #video game recommendations #2023 reads #2023 recap

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vampireantihero · 1 year

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February is coming to an end!

Schedule is in the read more, along with the rest of the newsletter. (you can also read this here or here, if the formatting on tumblr is too rough for long posts.)

Isn’t that a wild thing to think about? We’re nearly a quarter of the way through 2023 already! I hope everyone is having a fantastic start to the year and is surrounded by positive vibes this week.

To kick off the stuff that I have to talk about today, let’s start with the obvious — the newsletter is coming to your screen a little earlier than typical! This is because I’m upping the newsletter to weekly; partially because then I can send out the weekly schedule as I make them and keep you lovely newsletter people in the loop, and partially because it’s actually easier for me to write them Monday mornings. because my heavier workloads are later in the week. If you’re someone who only subscribes to the newsletter and doesn’t pay attention to social media, it’s likely that you haven’t seen a schedule graphic from me yet. These schedules are subject to change at any time, but it’s a nice easy way for me to tell you all what the plan is for the week and what to look forward to from me.

So, here’s this weeks’ schedule!

Alt ID: A schedule graphic with blue neon and a blue background with a heart made out of stone in the grass. Words: "Vampire Antihero Schedule, February 27th to March 5th. Tuesday and Thursday mood and composition pieces. Friday morning upload to Youtube is a video about doing daily studies. Specific dated events: The fundraiser stream has been pushed back a bit! I wanted to do it in March, but I'm pushing it to warmer months where I can be a little bit more comfy in my office for long periods of time. Keep an eye out on Sunday for a potential popup stream!

My Little Brother

As you can see, the schedule has a lot more on it than it did last week. I know for quite a bit of time now this situation has been the elephant in the room. If you’ve been following along, most of the month has been quite stressful for me as my little brother is very, very ill and has been having complications with illness-adjacent problems. I’ve been talking a little bit about it in streams and on Youtube, and I also spoke about it in the last newsletter but I wanted to talk a little bit about it again this time. I want you all to know I’m doing my best in a scary time for my family. That being said, here’s what’s going on.

My little brother is 24 years old, and late in January he found out he had a tumor on his spinal cord and had a surgery to remove it. Because of where it was, he still needs cancer treatments and has been having complications with recovering from his surgery. Last week he was transported to another hospital because of blood clots forming in his lungs and legs, but he’s had surgery to fix the issues and it sounds like he is doing well and recovering alright. He hasn’t started his cancer treatments quite yet because of the other things happening, but it sounds like everything is positive and stabilizing for him.

I’m extremely worried for him, but I’m four states away and haven’t been able to see him in a while. Right now I’m trying to put together a trip to go see him around other obligations and trips we’ve already committed to, but it’s a bit far out in my tentative plans because I want to wait for him to no longer be in the hospital, so I can avoid putting the pressure of too many people around on him when he’s trying to get better. But also, if things take a scary turn and he’s no longer doing well, plans might drop and I’ll be on my way to see him and be there for him.

To be clear, I’m not saying this to garner pity or to put his or my personal business out there (this is the tip of the iceberg), but so that you all know what’s going on and understand that if I miss uploads or sub rewards it’s not for lack of trying. For March, I will do my best to make up for the lack of content in February to the pace that I’m able to keep up with, and I hope you all understand. ♥

Mood and Composition Pieces

This brings me to my next topic — the Mood and Composition pieces that I started back at the end of January for the Mood and Composition class (part of the Fundamentals series on Youtube) is still underway. I have gotten closer to a state where I can start making color keys for the pieces, and am working on the screen casts this week— my goal is to have a speed-paint of each composition, a script written for the color keys portion and talking about why I made the decisions I did, and points talking about the composition breakdown and why it works in a basic sense.

Despite all of the delays with this class, I am really excited to put it together still. These classes do take a lot of time, energy, and work to build, so I hope that you find them useful and enjoy them. In the meantime, I am trying to figure out how to better manage my time so that I can get these classes pulled together for you all sooner. I’ve also been giving myself time aside to work on painting exercises and practice my techniques. The next tip I’m putting up on Youtube will talk a little bit about that.

Doing Daily Studies

Recently I started doing quick daily studies, painting something from a photograph and trying to get it to look as close as possible, as quick as possible. This is something that a concept artist friend told me about in one of the discords I’m a part of, and I did my first one on Friday. I had a lot of fun with it, and it was really cool to see how quickly I could make a scene come together when I let go of my control and anxiety about the piece. Here are two recent guided daily studies I did:

Both of these were done in about an hour, each, with a single hard-round brush. It’s rough, and I work slow, but the more I do these, the more I’ll speed up and be able to take that speed over to my bigger and more impressive work. If you’re interested in seeing the ones I do, then I’ll be sharing them over on Instagram, as well!

Youtube

As it stands at the moment, my Youtube channel is regularly updated every other Friday. I’m trying to up how often I post, but I also don’t want to burn myself out. There are other things starting for me as well this month that may change how I handle my time commitments. For now, the schedule for new content may stick to once every other week, but also I’m thinking of bringing my art VODs over to Youtube as well just to have an example of to-time art that I can show. I also might make short videos of my daily studies as an art vlog, though I haven’t decided whether or not to do that yet. We’ll see!

As it stands, the Youtube will slowly grow as we go. Keep an eye peeled on the community tab, I regularly post there and try to put polls up when I can!

Fundraiser

I mentioned a fundraiser that I wanted to do before the stuff with my brother got really serious. Rebel Alliance Theatre, my theatre troupe, is a non-profit theatre troupe and we’re trying to raise money for lights for our next show. Originally, I wanted to do a fundraiser for them this March, but I’ve decided to push it back to May, when the stuff with my brother should be less stressful and the weather is warmer, so it’ll be easier to sit in my office for longer periods of time. (My downstairs is poorly insulated, and it’s freezing in my office. I’m starting to try to not be at the PC so much because of how cold it is, but I may better insulate the room soon with some soundproofing panels.)

So, when the fundraiser comes closer, I think I’ll talk a little bit more about what the theatre does, what we need, and what my plan is for the fundraiser.

Streams / Community Challenge

Currently, our community challenge stream is to about 70% on Twitch, which means that I’m starting to plan for a marathon! Because of some new things happening, Saturdays don’t work as well for marathon streams for me anymore so there is a large chance that when the marathon stream happens, it will be on a Sunday. Hopefully that works well for everyone and we have a good time!

Speaking of stream, I’m still currently only scheduling twice a week to be on and both are usually art streams. However, that doesn’t mean that I’ll only be streaming twice a week. Twice a week is all I can regularly commit to at the moment, but if I have time outside of that, I’ll be gaming and stuff with you all. I miss being able to hop on with games, so I’m trying to make it happen more often. At the very least, marathon streams will include gameplay! Sometimes there will also be art involved.

I’m also working on cleaning up my timers and bots so that things are less chaotic in my chat. I know sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s going on in chat when I’ve got the PretzelRocks bot and my timers going, and the timers aren’t great at going off one at a time. They’re also text walls, and that can get distracting even for me. So I will be revamping my bot information and controls this week, and we’ll hopefully have a less cluttered chat as a result. Ultimately, my hope is that people feel comfortable and vibe in my chat. I love y’all and I want y’all to be happy while you’re watching and not feel too intimidated to interact.

Rebel Alliance Theatre

Part of the reason I can only commit to two days a week for streaming at the moment is because my theatre troupe is working on a play! Our first play in nearly three years, since the pandemic shut down our last production a few weeks before we were supposed to go up with it. I’m not in this one, I’m learning how to assistant direct, but it’s a play with a subject that I feel is really important and I’m excited to be working on a side of my creativity that has been dormant for too long.

We have three shows that we’re planning on putting on this year for an LGBTQ+ themed season, and there is going to be a lot of work to pull it off. I’m excited, nervous, and ready to tackle this adventure. I need it.

We also have a podcast that is in the editing phase for season 1 — it’s a podcast breaking down Shakespeare in how we think about it as actors, versus how academics break down the material, and how we sniff out themes and recurring messages. The first season is talking about Acts I, II, and III from King Lear. If you’re interested in it, I can share a link once the company has the podcast actively publishing.

If you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer within what I know/can share!

New Merch Drop Coming Soon

Last thing that I wanted to mention is this— new merch will be coming to the website store, as well as potentially Redbubble either this week or next week. I will make an announcement on the Discord, so check it out! The discord community is rather large, but it’s where all of the announcements are posted as they happen, cancellations, new videos, merch, and a pretty cool community to hang out with and talk about gaming or art. If you’d like to join, you can click here to find The Night Garden.

So! This was a massive newsletter, but I’m pretty sure I covered everything from the last two weeks! I’m looking forward to what this week brings, and I hope that you all enjoy yourselves as March rolls in. Remember to take care of yourselves, drink your water, and do what you can. I love you all.

#newsletter #my art #my stuff #art blog

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sarinotsari · 2 years

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The Second Disappearing of Sarina Grace

A dramatic title for a dramatic return!

Okay, yes, I’m back on tumblr! Which can only mean one thing: things are not great. Actually as I’m writing this I’m feeling pretty good, but just in general it’s been... a lot. So I left twitter again around October 5th (aside from my secret personal side account which only 2 people have access to) and it’s been great to not be surrounded by that negativity anymore. Unlike last time, I did give a warning (which I kind of regret, but whatever). So basically this year has been a lot. I mean like... a LOT. I got in a relationship, ended the relationship, made new friends, ended friendships, got a crush, got over that crush (mostly... kind of), had two different twitter accounts (not including my game account, priv, and The Quarry account that all lasted like a month), had two different instagram accounts, ended up in the ER (and then got put on meds that made me so confused I still have no idea what happened during that period nor do I remember when I even went to the ER), and blacked out for around a week (I think?) where I was telling everyone I was God. So, yeah... it’s been a wild year. And I finally feel like I’m healing from it all and during the healing process I just realized twitter isn’t really fun anymore, so I left. Now, I’m not saying I feel great by any means but I do feel like I’m at a point where I can get to feeling great, if that makes sense.

And now for the questions segment (which is just reusing the same questions I used last time)!

Will you return to twitter?

No. Not in the way people might want me to. It’s not a fun app to me anymore and it serves no purpose to me, so I don’t need it. I might keep my secret side account active for awhile and allow one more person access, but I’ll never return to stan twitter. I’ll eventually create a personal account when I start posting youtube videos too so I can hopefully reach a wider audience.

Are your other social media accounts being affected by The Great Twitter Strike of 2022?

Not really. I’m still as active as usual on instagram, I just post more stories. Tumblr I do want to try to become more active on, but it’s not likely. Wattpad I completely abandoned last year. AO3 I don’t really use much but I’ll read the occasional fic, I just don’t post anymore (sorry to my abandoned monwinn series, RIP). And discord is even more boring than twitter but I keep it just to keep in contact with people. Any other social media platform is so irrelevant to me that I’ve forgotten about it.

Where are you in life?

Currently, I’m on the hunt for a job. I almost applied for one but the application was too long and I got bored (oops). I’ve also set up plans for my future to help me better get to my dream jobs. Also I’ll be 20 in a little over 5 months which is terrifying to think about but I also look forward to it.

How are you doing mentally?

Eddie Diaz, Jacob Custos, and Prue Halliwell are the only people I ever think of which speaks volumes about my mental state. I do feel like I’m at the best I’ve been since... honestly, since COVID began. There’s still room for improvement though!

What have you been up to?

Planning! I’m ready for my life to begin and I have a lot of plans in place so that I’m fully prepared. Once I do a little more planning, I’ll be able to actually start following the plans. Also I’ve started to binge True Jackson, VP because I’ve never seen it (in fact, I hadn’t even heard of it until last year) and it’s amazing. I think once I finish it I might start Days of Our Lives just for Zach Tinker (but really, is it worth it? I refuse to watch The Vampire Diaries because Chris Wood is barely in it, am I really gonna start watching a soap opera for a few scenes of Zach?)

Did you write this entire post because you were bored?

Like last time, that is exactly the reason I made this post and it will likely happen again.

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carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich · 2 years

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I’ve seen a lot of disappointment/confusion in relation to the ending of the Young Blood manga, and there are just a couple of comments I wanted to make on it.

Now as someone who was never particularly invested in the manga to begin with (for as cute as the mini Sakamakis are, they’re not why I’ve stayed in the fandom as long as I have), it’s been interesting to see people’s reactions to it. I’ll admit that I’ve never read the whole thing through (I just peeked at spoilers when Carla made an appearance) but I have some idea of the overall plot, and more specifically the ending.

I think one thing that the fandom needs to accept in general is that DL lore is not, and has never been, consistent. On this blog I have attempted to answer questions on DL lore and establish an overall timeline (which does still work for the games) but the more research I’ve done for this, and the more I’ve thought about it, the more clear it becomes that we will never have a nicely packaged set of rules for how things in DL work.

Believe me, I understand that it’s frustrating (I was that child who adored maths because I loved that answers were right or wrong with no in-between) but I’m at a point where I’ve simply made peace with it and I would recommend everyone reading this to do the same.

I also think it’s important to acknowledge that it’s fine if you don’t like certain parts of a piece of media, especially a series with as many different works and as much inconsistency as DL. There are some fans who enjoyed HDB but don’t like to engage with anything beyond it, while there are others who prefer the sort of lighter content we get in the later games and steer clear of the darker stuff. Neither of these approaches are wrong, it’s just people choosing enjoy the series in different ways. If there are parts of DL that frustrate you, like the very confusing lore, then you’re free to just engage with lore from the game or piece of content you like the most, or hell, so long as you don’t try to tell people it’s canon, you can make up your own.

One thing I’ve also seen creeping up in the fandom over the years is this idea that everything needs a concrete explanation, case in point, the confusion that surrounds some of the endings where things are left vague or are just implied. Of course there’s nothing wrong with asking others for their own ideas on what happened, but I think there needs to be an appreciation that no one has all of the answers because sometimes there just aren’t absolute answers.

Now, how does all of this relate to the Young Blood ending?

Well, the ending is really vague. Was all of that really just a dream? If it was Ayato’s dream, why are there scenes that he’s not in? What does the fig mean? Why did Carla and Gies make appearances when they ultimately didn’t contribute anything to the story and the founders should be sealed in Banmaden before the Sakamaki brothers are born?

I’m not going to lie and say the manga makes perfect sense; honestly it feels like the writers started out with an entirely different story in mind, realised that the plot made no sense in the context of any of the games and then did a 180, wrote a brand new ending and rushed to get it out. However the fact remains that this is the ending we got and we’ve just got to make to the best of it.

And here’s the thing, there aren’t any right answers to the questions I posed above. There are possible answers (some that seem more likely than others) but no one can say that their answer is definitely correct. With an ending like this, even if it seems very unsatisfying, you can really just make want of it.

Maybe it was just a dream. Maybe it was a shared dream influenced by Karl. Maybe the fig is really important. Maybe it isn’t and it’s just a metaphor for blood/ the bloodlust that eventually consumes vampires.

The only thing I will offer any comment on, because this is a Tsukinami blog first and foremost, is why did Carla and Gies appear? And do you guys want to know what I honestly think? I’m going to go with Occam’s razor and say that Gies and Carla were probably included because the writers thought the fans would enjoy it. I don’t think there’s any great meaning to their appearance in the manga, and even if some people are disappointed that more was never made of it, remember the excitement you felt when you first saw Carla appear. Sure, maybe it didn’t lead to much but that doesn’t take away from the feelings you had at the time.

There is nothing wrong with the anticipation of something feeling better than whatever emotions you have after reading it, because the ending doesn’t have to be the most enjoyable bit, the excitement beforehand can be.

So if you liked the first half of the manga but not the ending? That’s fine! If you want to come up with your own ending, go for it! Write a fanfic and share it (I’m sure there are multiple people in the fandom who would be delighted to read it). You have your own theories about the ending that contradict someone else’s or some other bit of intel from one of the games? That’s okay! You didn’t like the manga at all and don’t want anything to do with it? That’s fine too!

Anyway, I’ve rambled on long enough. To those of you who had been waiting for this chapter for months and find yourselves disappointed, I’m sorry that it wasn’t more satisfying, but hopefully there is still plenty of other DL content out there for you, whether it’s created by Rejet or by fans.

Between this and Shin’s Daylight CD, I do have some thoughts on the quality of writing of more recent content, but at the end of the day, I have to acknowledge that DL has been going for a long time and honestly I’m lucky to have been able to enjoy as much content as I have up to now.

Take care all, I hope you have a lovely day!

#diabolik lovers #young blood spoilers #I think I must seem super invested in DL lore from the amount I talk about it #but honestly most of my knowledge comes from trying to explain things about the founders #because I like talking about Shin #anyway yeah I just wanted to get this off my chest #this isn't directed at anyone specifically but I increasingly see frustration around DL lore and while it's valid #it's ultimately not that worth worrying about #It's fine to be a Reiji but there's nothing wrong with taking a Shuu approach every now and again #okay I'll stop rambling now

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the7thcrow · 3 years

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indulgence | part three

pairing: felix x (fem) vampire!reader

summary: an indulgence grows to become dangerous as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.

series masterlist.

word count: 6.6 k

genre: forbidden love. this part is very angsty oh boy, suggestive.

warnings: blood and blood drinking (because they’re vampires lmao), character death, themes of guilt surrounding said character death, themes of lying and betrayal, murder, sex is discussed but not described, alcohol.

rating: 16+

taglist (open!) : @katya-moro @leximb1997

a/n: hi everybody! here’s a new part of indulgence for you! definitely a bit of a darker tone to this part, as we take a bit of a turn in the storyline (but frankly, i’m very excited about it). if you enjoy this, please let me know (only if you want, of course)! i’m a sucker for feedback. and once again, thanks for reading! i appreciate it. <3

previous chapter.

...

“No, Felix Lee will be the one to pay this price. Kill him, and the damage you’ve caused will be forgiven.”

The words echo in your mind as you leave the councilroom, your ears ringing. This couldn’t be happening. You expected something terrible of course, but you at least figured it would happen to you.

Then again, wasn’t this punishment worse? To suffer with the fact that this was all your fault, that Felix Lee would die by your hand, while you lived on. No, this was no form of mercy. The Council was cruel, and this was no exception.

As you enter the main hallway, you feel a hand rest on your shoulder. “Y/N,” a familiar voice speaks softly, but it does anything but soothe you.

You whirl on Chan, smacking his hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” you spit, staring daggers into him. While you expect him to be smug, or even amused, his eyes seem empty. Sad. He feels guilty.

Of course he does, because that’s who Chan is. He isn’t a monster, no matter how badly you try to make him out to be. No matter how much easier it would be to hate him. You know Chan, and he would never be giddy about something like this.

“I’m sorry,” he pleads as you turn away from him and stride down the hall. “I didn’t think that this would happen. I didn’t think that they would kill him.”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” You mock, refusing to slow down or look him in the eye. “Well, I guess it’s fine then.”

He chases after you. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Y/N. That’s not what I’m asking for. I want to help you.”

At this you turn around to face him, pulling him into a separate, less busy hallway that leads to the library. “What? You want to hand me the blade? Cock the gun?”

Chan opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. His eyes are wide, shocked by the venom of your words.

“No-no? That’s not what I mean-”

“Or do you just want to be in the room while I drink him dry? Try to lend some moral support, because God knows I’ll need it.”

“Y/N, if you’ll just let me talk-” he pleads, once again placing a hand on your shoulder. It’s all too familiar, and only makes your anger spark further.

“No!” You cut him off, your voice dangerously loud. “You sold me out, Chan. You fucked me over. And I don’t care why, I don’t care how you try to justify or fix it now. I don’t care. It’s over. I have to kill someone I care about, someone… someone I could have loved one day because of you. Because of your-”

“Hey, uh, are you guys okay?” A voice asks from over your shoulder. You turn your head to see Jeongin, eyes imploring the both of you with a nervous curiosity.

Chan plasters on a reassuring smile. “Yeah, we’re good, man. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Jeongin asks carefully. “Because I heard yelling-”

“We’re okay,” you say, putting on your own fake smile. “We’ll meet you down at the front in a second, we just need a minute.”

“Ah, alright, if you say so,” he says, not sounding so sure. Slowly, he turns around, disappearing down the hall.

Once you hear the sound of his footsteps fade, Chan turns back to you, his voice low. “Turn him,” he states.

“What?” You ask, eyes narrowing.

“Look,” he sighs. “I messed up, I’m sorry. I thought they’d make you stop seeing him, not have you kill the guy. It was petty and stupid, and in some messed up way I thought that I would be protecting you. Clearly, I’ve managed to do the exact opposite. I’m sorry.”

You open your mouth to fire back, to tell him his apology is not accepted, but as his eyes meet yours, you can’t bring yourself to. His eyes are glassy, on the brink of tears. He swallows deeply, stabilizing himself before continuing.

“And I know if they kill him, you’ll never forgive me. Hell, you shouldn’t forgive me. But that’s the last thing I want, for us to be like this.”

He stops for a second, a breath of silence passing between the two of you. Your eyes begin to sting, overwhelmed by the emotion of it all. It could be your current situation. It could be that familiar look of painful affection swimming in Chan’s eyes. It could be a lot of things. Perhaps it is all of them.

“What do I do, Chan?” You whisper, your voice coming out hoarse. “Fuck, what do I do?”

He hesitates for a moment, before pulling you into a hug. That’s the final push that breaks you, tears fall from your eyes, sprinkling your cheeks. You would be embarrassed, if it weren’t only Chan there to see you. Despite all that has happened, there is still that comfortable acceptance that hangs in the air around the two of you. That involuntary form of care that doesn’t flare out, even after the love has dissipated.

“You turn him into one of us,” Chan says. “It’s the only option, maybe then The Council will cut him a break.”

“I can’t do that to him,” you whisper, shaking your head. “I can’t make him suffer like this.”

“Maybe,” Chan says, setting his chin on top of your head. “But is this really a fate worse than death?”

~~~~

That is the question you contemplate on the lonely walk back to your apartment. Chan had offered to walk you back, but you declined. Despite the moment of reconciling the two of you had shared, you still aren’t ready to be around him. He still hasn’t earned your forgiveness.

As you arrive home, your apartment feels haunted. Not by Chan’s ghost, as it once had been, but Felix’s. You can see him lying on the couch, television playing some history documentary you were both only half paying attention to. You can smell his cooking wafting in from the kitchen, a familiar sweet that had long since been devoured.

You can feel his touch against your skin, the phantom of his fingertips dancing along your back. Your neck. Your thighs.

You can’t kill him, that much you know. However, if you don’t, someone else will. No, you have to fix this, and as much as you don’t want to admit it, Chan is right. The only way Felix has a chance of survival is to turn him, but could you really do that? After knowing just how terrible this life really was?

If you had been given the option in being turned, there was no way in hell you would have accepted. You remember that dreadful night, roughly three years ago. You’d been new to Hampden, and eager to meet new people. You stumbled into him at a party. He was a little older, a little classy. You’d been interested in him right away, not yet having a clue about what he or The Society was. Vampires were nothing but a myth, a fairy-tale, a form of media-culture.

This would change later that month. For good.

The two of you began to see one another casually. It was fun, thrilling. You kept each other a secret, for reasons you didn’t understand the full extent of at the time. He was unlike anyone you’d ever met, for both better and for worse. With his charisma and passion, came a strange, devious obsessiveness. A terrifying need for control. You’d go as far as to say, a lack of humanity.

Then came the night you decided to end things. The last night of your life as you knew it. You told him you wanted to stop seeing each other, he refused to leave. He yelled. He broke things. In the end, he turned you.

When you awoke, your new and rejuvenated self, he was already gone. This wasn’t a desperate attempt at staying together, at making you need him. No, it was revenge. You would pay the price for rejecting him, for the rest of your life.

Which was to say, forever.

You stare at the telephone sitting on your coffee table. Could you really do that to Felix? Could you really take away his life as he knew it? Make him say goodbye to his roommates, his freedom? Everything would become controlled by The Society.

The answer is no. No, you can’t make him do that. But as always, this is not a matter of what you do and don’t want. It never has been. It never can be.

You keep this in mind as you dial Felix’s cell, your fingers pressing the familiar keys deeply lodged in your memory. You don’t have to think, you’ve dialed this number so many times before.

The phone rings three times before he picks up. “Y/N?” His voice echoes through the speaker. He sounds worried. Perhaps he should be. “You there?”

“Yeah,” you mumble quietly, clearing your throat. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Is everything okay?” He asks, his voice full of concern. “This is a lot earlier than you said you’d call. Did you talk to Chan?”

Felix doesn’t know you had a meeting with The Council today, you hadn’t mentioned it to him prior. He knows nothing. Nothing of his death sentence. Nothing of the weight of what you have done.

“Yeah, I talked to him.” You say quietly, before a moment of silence passes by, as Felix waits for you to continue. “Listen, could you come over?”

“Right now?” He asks. “It’s the middle of the day, are you sure?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you think. “There isn’t anything to hide from anymore.”

“I’m sure,” you say, controlling the waver in your voice. What are you going to say when he gets here? How do you tell someone that they’re on death row? How do you offer them immortality? How do you explain the price?

“Okay,” he replies, in that sweet, deep voice of his. “I’ll see you soon.”

~~~~

You don’t know what to expect will happen when you open the door for Felix. How will he react when you tell him? Will he scream? Cry in silence? Or will he just leave, not being able to stand looking at you any longer?

Your stomach knots. You don’t know how he will react, but you know at the very least, he won’t be thrilled.

The doorbell rings, rattling through your apartment, shaking you from your worried daze. You approach the door slowly, hand shakily finding itself clenched around the door knob. With only a breath to settle yourself, you twist the handle.

When Felix see’s you, he can already tell that something is wrong. Perhaps it’s the way your eyes are staring at him as if he’s going to disappear. Or maybe it’s how your hands are shaking, arms wrapped around you, as if you’re trying to make yourself smaller.

All he knows is that something didn’t go according to plan.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks, pulling you into a hug. The gesture is warm, comforting. You could so easily slip away, immerse yourself in the feeling. Forget about The Council. Forget about it all, for just a moment. For just a night.

But oh, how selfish that would be.

“No,” you whisper into his chest, unable to look up and meet his gaze. “No, everything isn’t okay.”

“What’s wrong?” Felix asks, gently breaking away from you. He takes your hand, slowly leading you over to the couch. “Did they do something? Did they hurt you?” He asks, beckoning for you to take a seat.

You laugh, although it sounds far more like a sob. Of course, before all else, he’s worried about you. It is just so utterly Felix, to have all his concerns focused on you, and not an inkling of worry towards himself.

Maybe you should have been more like him. Maybe if you had focused on what danger your little arrangement could have put Felix in, rather than trying to save your own hide, you could have prevented this.

So many maybe’s. So many possibilities you’d never know the answer too.

“No, Felix. They didn’t hurt me.” You sigh, looking up to meet his eyes, which are wide and swimming with concern. He’s panicking, that much is obvious.

“Then what happened? Was it Chan? Did he say something?”

You sigh. Time to get this over with. Rip off the bandaid.

“No, Lix. It wasn’t Chan. It’s about you,” you say. He freezes, slowly pulling his hand away from its place on your thigh.

“About me?” He asks slowly, the look in his eyes shifting from a worried concern, to fear. “What about me?”

You stare at him for a moment, unsure of how to break the news. In the end, you decide to just be outright.

“They want me to kill you,” you state. You expect him to jump away from you. To run, or yell. Something, at least. Instead, he blinks.

“Are you going to?” Felix asks, his tone emotionless. As if he were asking what you were doing that day, rather than whether or not you planned to murder him.

“What do you think?” You look at him, trying to read the expression on his face, but draw blank. You can’t tell what he’s thinking.

He sighs. “Alright. So what are we going to do, then?” He’s awfully calm considering the circumstances. Almost too calm. An eerie chill passes through you.

“Well, that’s the tricky part,” you start, inching away from him slightly. Why is he so relaxed? Did he expect this to happen? How, if you certainly didn’t? “I talked to Chan, and we both agree there’s only one way to solve this.”

“Wait,” Felix looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “Chan? As in the same Chan who probably turned us into The Society in the first place? That Chan?”

“Yeah, that Chan,” you mumble, almost embarrassed. When he puts it like that, listening to Chan’s advice sounds foolish, but you know it’s more complicated than that. Chan had fucked up, there was no denying that, but you and Felix didn’t have many allies in this. It’s important to accept help where you can find it.

“Okay, and what did he recommend?” Felix asks, and you can hear the resentment in his tone.

“That I turn you,” you say. Frankly, you’d expected Felix to keep up this strange, cold exterior. Instead his jaw drops and he jumps to his feet.

“You-you want to what?” He stammers, taking a few steps back. His eyes are wide, full of nothing but pure terror.

“Woah, calm down! It’s okay,” you say, rising to your own feet, extending your hand out towards him. It reminds you of that first night you met, when he told you he knew what you were. About how his childhood neighbors were just like you. It is strange, looking back on how much has changed, yet also remained the same.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he states, refusing to take your hand. Instead, he wraps his arms around himself, shrinking backwards. He’s utterly terrified. “You want to make me into a monster?”

At that you frown. You know he’s frightened, that much is blatantly obvious, but a monster? That stung.

“A monster? Is that what you see me as?” You say, your tone sharp.

“Y/N, you know that’s not what I meant,” he huffs, rolling his eyes. Your anger spikes sharply.

“Really? Because that seems to be exactly what you meant.”

“You’re a vampire, Y/N. I think that’s quite literally an example of a monster. You? No, you aren’t one. But Chan? The Society? They are.”

“You don’t seem to find it so monstrous when I drink from you, do you? No, you actually like it. So don’t act like you know what you’re talking about, Felix. Because you don’t.”

“But, I do know!” He shouts back, closing the space between the two of you. You stare up at him, and suddenly you see it. The flicker of something behind his eyes. The flicker of something more.

“How?” You whisper, your breath hot against his lips. “How do you know?”

“Because,” he says, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. You hear it, pounding, the blood rushing through his veins.

“I’m a hunter.”

~~~~

7 weeks prior…

Felix hadn’t originally expected to like you. From what Changbin had told him, vampires were the embodiment of evil. Blood-thirsty murderers, who revelled in the pain and anguish of their victims. Frankly, there really didn’t seem to be anything to be fond of.

No, he had expected to despise you. Fear you. Take the greatest risk he’d ever gambled walking into the library that night. He wasn’t even sure if he’d walk out alive.

Especially after what happened to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was one of Felix’s roommates. He, Changbin and Han lived together for over a year before Changbin invited Felix to move in a few months ago.

Felix had really liked Hyunjin from the start. The guy was funny, always ready to share a good story, or listen to one of Felix’s own. He was greatly accepting, treating Felix as if he had always lived there, right from the day he’d moved in. He was sweet, creative. A Dance major. Everything about the guy screamed likeable, and Felix couldn’t help but admire him.

Right up until the day he was murdered.

Hyunjin had started seeing someone. Although he wouldn’t admit it to any of his three roommates, the signs were undeniable. He’d disappear late into night, and always come home early in the morning. He’d cancel plans because he “had to study,” and when they came home he was nowhere to be found.

Changbin had confronted him about this, but Hyunjin had denied it. In that care-free, sweet nature of his that made Felix want to believe he was telling the truth.

But he couldn’t, because Felix had seen all the signs too.

Felix remembered one morning, when he woke up to find Hyunjin in the kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee. The man hadn’t noticed him walking in, and Felix went to grab him by the shoulders. Just to make him jump a little, nothing too menacing.

But that’s when he saw them, peeking out from Hyunjin’s collared shirt. Two bites marks, clear as day.

When Hyunjin noticed him, he jumped back, quickly pulling the collar of his shirt higher. “Oh! Hey, Felix! You’re up early,” he’d said, laughing. However, Felix could see the falseness of his smile, the intense look in his eyes.

Hyunjin was hiding something, and whatever those bite marks were held the answer.

Now, Felix had never heard anything about vampires before. Therefore, when he saw the marks, he just assumed Hyunjin was into something… a little less than vanilla, to put it lightly. He shook it off. Tried to distance that day in the kitchen from his thoughts.

Yet, the marks stuck with him. They just looked so… real. They were not a human bite, nor any animal Felix could think of. They looked like something straight out of a horror film. The way the skin bruised around them, swollen. The holes themselves were dark. A hollow red.

Felix should have been concerned. Worried. Instead, he was intrigued. He wanted to talk to Hyunjin about them, but it felt too personal. He’d only known the guy a few months, and the marks seemed to be something Hyunjin wished to hide. He couldn’t just come outright and ask him.

So Felix kept it to himself. A mistake. A huge mistake.

As roughly 3 weeks later, Felix would walk into their apartment to find Changbin curled on the floor, trembling. His cheeks were stained with tears, eyes unfocused as Han sat behind him, patting his back to grant the smallest inkling of comfort.

“What happened?” Felix asked, panicking as he rushed to his friend's side. He may have only moved in a few months ago, but he’d known Changbin almost all his life. They’d gone to the same elementary school, parents being childhood friends themselves. They were close, unbelievably close. And in all that time, Felix had never seen Changbin so upset. So disheveled. Broken.

When Changbin didn’t respond, Felix turned to Han, who was already staring at him with somber, empty eyes.

“Hyunjin’s dead,” Han said, so quietly Felix wasn’t sure if he heard him correctly.

“Dead?” Felix choked, eyes subconsciously trailing to Hyunjin’s bedroom door. “What do you mean? He- he can’t be dead?” There was no way. Hyunjin had to be in there, dancing to his favourite mixes or reading a webcomic, gushing about his favourite dramas. He couldn’t be dead.

“He is,” Changbin spoke suddenly, still not deterring his eyes from their place on the wall. “I saw it happen.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Felix wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure how to form words. Shock enveloped him in a fuzzy, mind-clouding fog.

The three of them sat there for what felt like hours, until eventually, Changbin spoke.

“Don’t you want to know what happened?” He asked.

“Okay,” Felix whispered. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. If he could handle it. Yet, his curiosity got the better of him.

“I was asleep in my room, woke up to the sound of banging on the door,” Changbin spoke quietly. “Heard Hyunjin get up to grab it, assuming it was fine. When he opened the door, he sounded shocked. Afraid. He spoke like he knew why they were here. Like he was in danger.”

“I heard them come inside. Hyunjin started shouting, “get away from me!”, “don’t touch me!” I got up, rushing towards the living room. However, as I was coming, I heard Hyunjin suddenly get cut off. Confused, I carefully peeked around the corner. Can you guess what I saw?”

When Felix didn’t answer, Changbin turned to face him, his eyes finally meeting Felix’s own. Felix swallowed, his heart rising into his throat. Changbin’s eyes were dead, holding a darkness that made Felix shiver.

“They were drinking his blood, Felix. Like a fucking vampire. The guy had Hyunjin pinned to a wall, and didn’t let go of him until Hyunjin was gone. Until he drank every last drop in his body. Then they dragged him out of here. Left as if nothing had happened.”

“That… that’s impossible,” Felix shook his head. The story had to have been fake, Changbin’s way of dealing with the trauma. It couldn’t have been true.

“Is it?” Changbin asked. “Is it really? Because I think we’ve all seen those sickening, fucking bite marks Hyunjin has been carrying around these last couple months.”

Felix froze. That was true, but still, that couldn’t have meant vampires were real. No, that was ridiculous. They weren’t any more real than mermaids, or werewolves. It was simply impossible.

But… was it?

Suddenly, Changbin leaped to his feet, storming across the living room and whipping open the door to Hyunjin’s bedroom.

Han, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, chased after him. “Changbin, no! It’s too soon. Don’t do this to yourself. Not right now.”

“No!” Changbin yelled back, not looking back at Han. He began digging through Hyunjin’s drawers, throwing everything inside out onto the bed. “It’s my fault he’s dead, and you know that. I should have tried to stop it, something at least. But I froze! I didn’t do shit! And now Hyunjin is dead, Han.”

Changbin rushed over to Hyunjin’s nightstand, ripping out the bottom drawer. “The least I can do now is try to prove what happened to him. Try to show that it wasn’t just my bloody imagination, like Felix over here clearly thinks it is.”

Felix, unsure of what to say, remained quiet.

“He doesn’t think you imagined it, Changbin,” Han reassured, carefully putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. “But trashing Hyunjin’s room? That’s not going to solve anything.

Changbin shrugged off Han’s hand, scowling. “You don’t know what will help,” he spat, half-mindedly flipping through one of Hyunjin’s old notebooks. “There’s got to be something in here. Something that will prove that-” he began, but quickly stopped.

Changbin stood silently for a moment, staring at the words on the pages with an intensity that made Felix nervous.

“This is it,” Changbin said quietly, not looking up at them.

“It’s what?” Han said, quickly placing himself beside him, beginning to read whatever was on the pages. He quickly went quiet, his eyes growing wide as he scanned the paper.

Changbin looked up at Felix, an unreadable expression on his face.

“It’s our proof.”

~~~~

Hours passed and Felix finally found himself sitting at his desk, the dim light of his lamp cascading over what turned out to be Hyunjin’s journal.

Changbin had finally given it to him, spending hours obsessing over every word and detail. God knows where he was now, having left the apartment around midnight. A couple hours had passed, and he still hadn’t returned.

Han had gone to sleep a while ago, leaving Felix alone with nothing but the ghost of Hyunjin’s words that he left behind. A chill passed through him. This was all he had left of him, these entries discussing what would later become the reason for his death.

Felix paused on a certain entry, one dating back roughly a month ago, regarding the bite marks.

October 23rd.

She fed from me today. Finally. It hurt seeing her so starved, so weak and frail compared to when we first met. Everytime I’d look in her eyes, I’d see how glazed over they were, how blown out from hunger. It physically hurt, knowing how she was putting herself through this pain when I could help her, if she’d only let me.

I had to beg her to do it. She’s so worried about them. So paranoid they’re going to find out. I’m scared too, I guess, but I’m willing to risk it. For her.

As for the feeding itself, it’s difficult to explain. It hurt, undoubtedly, but at the same time it was wonderful. It felt wrong, wild. Raw. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt so connected with someone. It’s not the same as sex, somehow it felt more intimate? Like I said, it’s difficult to explain. Strange.

It’s weird, looking in the mirror now, seeing those marks. Yet, they make me smile. They remind me of her, as if I’m branded with the fact she trusted me enough to do this.

I think I’m starting to love her. Even if worse comes to worst, I don’t think I’d ever regret this. She’s shown me so much, I only hope our time doesn’t run out.

I’m seeing her again, tomorrow. I think Changbin is starting to get suspicious, he made a comment about me leaving late at night. I denied it, but I know he thinks something is up. Maybe Han and Felix do too, but they haven’t said anything.

I want to tell them, I really do. But I know I can’t. I promised her. Besides, roping them into this might make matters worse.

I hope I’m making the right choice.

~Hyunjin.

Felix felt like he was going to be sick. So Hyunjin knew. He knew what was coming, even a month ago. Yet he didn’t stop seeing this girl. Why? Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic, sure. But even so, this seemed ridiculous. Why would he keep doing this, knowing the consequences?

Felix’s mind wandered back to the marks on his neck. The deep gashes of where she’d drank from him. The feeding, as Hyunjin had called it. Was that what made him stay? This strange, monstrous intimacy?

Felix didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how this feeding could possibly be a good thing. And yet, to his own shame, he was curious. Curious of how it felt, how it led Hyunjin down this road to his death.

God, if Changbin could hear what he was thinking now.

~~~~

The following weeks passed by in a blur of grief and obsession. Changbin was rarely home. Sometimes he was at the library, doing as much research as he possibly could. Others, he was searching for more hunters, anything to find out more about what exactly Hyunjin had gotten himself into.

Today, the three roommates were sitting on the living room couch, discussing a rather important next step in Changbin’s mission of avenging Hyunjin.

“I found one,” Changbin stated, taking a sip of his gin and tonic.

Han frowned. “What do you mean you found one?”

“I mean one of those bloodsuckers is at the library every night the same time I am,” Changbin stated. Felix shifted nervously. He didn’t like the look on Changbin’s face.

“Okay,” Han continued, his frown deepening. “What do you want us to do about that? You’re not planning on shoving a stake through their heart or anything, are you?”

“No,” Changbin replied, although he didn’t seem to be as appalled by the idea as Han. “I plan on using them.”

“What do you mean?” Felix asked, an unsettling feeling passing through him.

“I mean, one of us has to get close to her. Close enough to figure out who this “they” Hyunjin keeps referencing is.”

“Then what?” Han asked, his arms crossed.

Changbin shrugged. “Then we make them pay for what they did to him. The only question now, is which one of us is it going to be?”

Now, Felix didn’t like vampires. Not at all. Not after what they’d done to Hyunjin. However, he couldn’t seem to find this deep-seeded hatred that Changbin had developed.

No, in fact he felt a level of sympathy for the girl who lived on Hyunjin’s pages. For the sweet and generous girl who would almost rather die than subject him to any danger. She wasn’t a monster, that much was obvious. No, the vampires that murdered Hyunjin, the vampires that she was so terrified of, they were the monsters.

But Changbin didn’t seem to see that. Felix didn’t blame him, he was blinded by both grief, as well as the overwhelming guilt that Hyunjin’s death was his fault. It wasn’t, of course. Felix was sure that if Changbin had stepped in, they simply would have killed him too. But that wasn’t what Changbin wanted to hear.

So, before he could properly comprehend what he was doing, he spoke. “I’ll do it,” he said, causing the two men to raise their eyebrows.

“Really?” Han asked nervously, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Felix, you don’t have to. You could get yourself killed.”

Felix knew this. Hell, he knew this well. He also knew it was the right thing to do. This girl at the library… If Changbin attempted getting close to her in the state he was now, he’d end up getting one of them killed. Han, bless his soul, was far too paranoid to pull it off. Even now, he tried to distance himself from the entire topic of vampires. Maybe it was fear, maybe he didn’t like the spite in Changbin’s voice when he discussed them, but in any case, Felix knew he wouldn’t be able to do this.

Besides, he could handle it. You deserved to be given a chance. Perhaps you were an exception, like the girl in Hyunjin’s notebook.

“I’m sure,” Felix said. And so your mutual destruction began.

~~~~

Felix had met you in the library under Changbin’s instruction. Made some small talk, a little bit flirty but nothing too wild. He was surprised to find that you were rather pretty, a clean academic look and mysterious eyes. He was also surprised to find that you were witty, as well. Charming.

Based on the way Changbin had described you, well, you were supposed to be nothing short of a demon sent from hell.

You were both sitting in silence, Felix watching as you translated passages from The Iliad into Greek. Which he had to admit, was undoubtedly impressive.

It was then he noticed how glazed over your eyes were, pupils blown out in hunger, just as Hyunjin had described in his journal. Which meant he also knew that you were struggling, refraining from eating.

That’s when he felt it, that slightest pinch of sympathy. You weren’t eating, which meant you also weren’t sucking people dry in their apartments for their roommates to see. No, you were refraining yourself, and that wasn’t a monstrous thing to do.

The pieces fell like dominos after that. He kissed you. You invited him back to your apartment. You both went inside. You kissed some more.

Then he proceeded to scare the ever living hell out of you.

The look on your face when he told you he knew still haunts him. The sheer terror in your eyes, the unchained panic and fear. It was the kind’ve look someone had right before death. As if he were going to murder you.

He hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t realized that him knowing you were a vampire would be so catastrophic to you. It wasn’t like you told him, he already knew, but that didn’t seem to matter.

He quickly made up a story about his old neighbors being vampires, anything to calm you down. Then, to his own surprise, he offered to let you drink from him.

This wasn’t a part of the plan. If Changbin saw what he was doing now, he’d ring his neck for sure. Yet, Felix was curious, even more so then he was before. This intimacy, this incredible feeling that Hyunjin talked about, was it really true? He wanted to know.

There was also the fact of the matter that he genuinely wanted to help you. You were so scared, so petrified, and he was to blame. You were not a monster. You weren’t. You were just a scared girl who had clearly been starving herself, and if he could help with that, he should, shouldn’t he?

You were hesitant at first, but you agreed. Climbing on top of him, your breath hot against his neck. He braced himself for your fangs. Yet even so, nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of breaking through his skin.

It was painful, a throbbing ache erupting from his neck and flowing throughout the rest of his body. Felix could feel the blood pumping through his veins, escaping through his newly punctured wounds. He grabbed your arm for support, his mouth opening in a cry from the pain. Although, he doubted you could hear him, based on the way you lapped so lavishly at the blood, leaning into him.

Yet, with the pain came an undeniable sense of pleasure, pulsing through his body in waves. A dizzying, overwhelming sense of ecstasy, clouding his mind in a hazy fog of desire. It was overwhelming, how the feeling casted over him, draining him of anything but eachother. Here it was just you and him. There was nothing else. Nothing but the two of you.

He didn’t want anything else. Your name rang through his skull, shattering all other thoughts that existed outside this moment. His vision blurred, all his senses drifting from him. Yet, he didn’t want them. Didn’t need them. All he needed was you. You. You. He felt himself fall back, sinking into the floor, his limbs growing limp.

Then it stopped. You pulled away from him. He blinked, attempting to regain a proper sense of consciousness. He saw your face, your beautiful face, and smiled.

At that moment he understood. He understood it all. How Hyunjin followed down that path, how in the end he didn’t regret it.

He knew he’d come to make all the same mistakes.

~~~~

So your little arrangement continued, and slowly it began to develop into more. While enjoyable, it wasn’t just about the feeding. Not at all.

Felix thought you were incredible, to put it lightly. You were unlike anyone he’d ever met. Clever, kind, selfless. You held an unbelievable sense of passion in everything you did.

His favourite days were the ones spent at your place. The comfort of your bed became his safe place. Your kitchen became his creative outlet. His home whenever he was wrapped in your arms.

No, nothing made Felix more happy than the time he spent with you.

That’s what he thinks of now, walking back home from your apartment, after having told you everything. You were angry of course, feeling lied to, betrayed. He doesn’t blame you. He blames himself.

He blames himself for everything that has happened. He knew what would happen from the beginning, what his sentence would be, he’d seen it all before. Yet, he chose to ignore it. Some little voice inside of him said that he was different, that it was merely unlucky what happened to Hyunjin. That you two would beat the odds.

Felix knows that he had been lying to himself. He knows Hyunjin had been careful, just as much as the two of you had been. He brought this upon himself.

Why? Because he loves you. He can admit it to himself now, after everything that has happened. He isn’t sure if you feel the same, especially after the last couple hours. He doesn’t blame you, if you don’t.

He should have just told you the truth from the beginning, but he didn’t want to lose you by scaring you again. His roommates wouldn’t tell anyone, he’d made sure of it when he talked to Changbin and Han a couple days ago. Now that was a horrible conversation, Changbin still hasn’t spoken to him since.

Felix had told both of them that things hadn’t worked out after the first night he spent with you. That way, he wouldn’t feel pressured in divulging anything you’d told him of The Society. As much as he hated them, so truly hated them, he’d promised you secrecy. He’d honoured that promise as much as he could, even if it ultimately put him in danger.

Yet, that’s not what he’s worried about right now. No, he is thinking of your face that first night you spent together, that look of pure terror. It was something he had never wanted to see again.

That hope was futile, however. As when he told you, he did have to see it again. Watch as your eyes widened, your mouth gaping open and eyebrows furrowed as he told you how his roommates knew. How he came to the library that night looking for you. The details of Hyunjin’s murder.

How a part of Felix knew that his fate could be the same.

You had walked into your kitchen, trying to get yourself away from him. Saying that you needed time to think this all through, and that he should do the same. After all, immortality and eternal bloodlust were two difficult things to be offered.

You told him to leave. He did. He’d said that he would call you within the next couple days, when he came to his decision. Then you’d turn him, if that’s what he decided, and that would be it. He didn’t know what this meant for the two of you afterwards, but there’d be time to figure that out later.

Oh, there would be so much time.

Because Felix already knows what his decision will be.

He hates Vampires. He hates The Society. The way they torment your life, just as they did to the girl in Hyunjin’s notebook. The way they killed Hyunjin. How Chan, someone you once trusted, turned the two of you in without a second thought.

But it doesn’t matter if he hates them. Not anymore.

As in this moment, Felix Lee has decided that he will become one himself.

next chapter.

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internalsealpanic · 3 years

Text

Love Through the Ages (Tim Drake)

Summary: Love like baggage needs to be declared.

a/n: This is part two of a series that is a fic rec list disguised as a fic. For these fics, most of the characters will be speaking different languages, so unless specified otherwise assume that the characters are speaking in the first language I mention. They’re all vampires with centuries under their belt. Why wouldn’t I make them all polyglots. Also, thank you to the proof reading gang for putting up with my shenanigans. I will have links to the fics I recommend in the fic itself.

Warnings: Everyone is dramatic.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist.

You watch the rusty green of the warehouse wall disappear behind a spray of orange paint. There is nothing more satisfying than watching paint make old things new.

A whistle interrupts your reverie, making the can slip from your hand. You swear, the harsh syllables echoing in the empty air. The can bounces down the scaffold and lands in someone’s hands. Tim’s face gets sprayed with a mist of orange. He makes a noise and rubs at his face. You bark out a laugh and he grimaces at you. The begrudging fondness obvious on his face.

He waves at you, eyes still stinging from the paint. Giddiness flourishes in your chest. “I knew I’d find you here!” He shouts in a dialect of Mandarin that you hadn’t heard in ages.

It takes you a moment to understand him. You’re honestly extremely rusty. It takes you another moment to realize that it made no sense for him to find you. “How?” You shout back in Romanian.

Tim shakes his head, throwing his hand over his shoulder. “Open canvas.”

You snort, looking down at him. Tim’s breath catches as he stares up at you, your smile. You’re haloed by sunlight. You look like an angel descending from heaven.

Tim’s forced to pick up his jaw when he hears your voice again. You’re tapping your watch. The words are lost to him.

“What?!”

You shake your head, strands of hair coming loose from behind your ear. “I asked...” You shout in a coarse frawl. “... Isn’t it a bit early for you to be here?”

It was.

He was only 30 minutes early. No big deal.

He shrugs. “I just wanted to watch you paint.” He says, trailing off. Oh God, Tim thinks. Does he sound lovesick? Is Cassie right? He pushes the thoughts down, opting to look at the building instead. On the side of the building was an immaculate portrait of the Red Hood rendered like a saint, haloed in golden light and surrounded by your orange marigolds. It would look at home in any grand cathedral. Your talents never ceased to amaze him.

“Should I ask why you’re defacing a building?”

You turn back to the building picking up a can of yellow paint. You tilt your head. “It’s a massive improvement, yes?”

Tim looks around. The pavement is littered with wet trash mixed. The buildings were rusted. Everything else is covered in grime. “You’re rude… but not wrong.”

You preen, electing to ignore the first half. You turn back to your canvas before Tim can get another word in. He knows he’s lost you.

“So, why *the* Red Hood?”

You look away from the portrait, setting the can of yellow spray paint. It sprays your sweatshirt and Tim laughs. You stick your tongue out at his face flushing. You liked this sweatshirt. He gave it to you the last time you had meandered into Gotham. “Why not? We’re in the Bowery. He’s like a saint here.” You snip, switching to Russian. Ok, that made sense. You toss your sweatshirt into Tim’s face. The fabric is lousy with the smell of paint and of 5-hour energy drinks. It was an improvement over the pungent odor of garbage.

He tries to rub the orange paint on his face away before he tucks your sweatshirt beneath his arm. You’re still looking down at him, wry amusement on your face. “I’ll paint your beloved Red Robin when I get to China Town. Heard he was quite popular in those parts.”

Tim’s heart flutters. He stutters out his next question. “Why are you using spray paint for this type of illustration?”

“Kon said I couldn’t do it.”

Tim snickers, “As if Kon could tell the difference.”

You frown only realizing your mistake. You curse under your breath. Tim doesn’t stop laughing at you. “Shut up!” You snarl.

Tim dodges the next paint can you throw but the next one hits him square in the face. You grin triumphantly. Tim raises a middle finger at you and you giggle in response. You feel bad, seeing him wince in pain. You’d buy him apology tea later but for now, you clasp your hands and call out to him sweetly. “Sorry, Timmers!”

Tim, equally as mature and well aware that you’re only half sorry, blows out a breath, muttering something colorful before shouting back: “we should get going if we wanna eat out after looting the museum.”

At that, you launch yourself off the scaffolding, your body feeling weightless as it falls. Tim drops your sweatshirt as he holds his arms out to catch you. He catches you easily. You two spin as you wrap your arms around him.

“You are certifiably insane.” He laughs. His nose smooshed against yours.

“And so are you.” You snort, hugging him.

He hugs you back. You hum so softly into his hair that Tim wouldn’t be able to tell it from a breath if he were human. Tim holds you close, hugging your waist tightly. He doesn’t really want to let you go. You don’t either. You and Tim stand there for a bit when you hear his cell beep.

“Why does your phone sound like a pager?”

“Because Babs told me how to.”

“That literally explains nothing.”

“I’m not taking crap from the gremlin who had ‘Baby Shark’ as their ringtone for 12 months. WILLINGLY.”

You pout at him, your face so close to his. Tim’s only half paying attention to your defense. To be fair, it basically boiled down to ‘it isn’t that bad’ and ‘Bart’s ringtone is worse’.

After a short shopping trip and a cab ride later, you arrive at the museum in fresh clothes and less paint on his face for Tim.

“All the World’s a Stage. They botched it! The nerve! The barbarity of it all. It's just like when they botched ‘Words with Friends’ or ‘In Ice We Trust’ or even ‘Tomcat’. That last one was pretty much gift wrapped for them!” You say throwing up your hands nearly hitting Tim and whatever poor bastard was unlucky enough to be behind you.

“For someone who isn't invested in modern media, you're getting fired up.” Tim chuckles, eyes flickering behind you. You had managed to miss the people behind you but you do have a rather conspicuous space behind you.

“They had such good material to work with” you say, gesticulating wildly. “And- and they butchered it.”

“You need a 5 minute breather?” Tim asks, resting a hand on your back.

“Shut up,” you laugh.

Tim grins at you as if he had no idea what this ultimate betrayal feels like.

Determined to prove him wrong, you say : “C'mon, Timothy, you ranted like this when they botched the star thingy.”

“It’s Star Wars, you heathen.”

“Star. Thingy.” You repeat, crossing your arms.

Tim squints at you. You know he’s not gonna blow up at you but somehow that’s scarier.

“You can pay for your own cab later.” He grumbles.

“Star. Thing-Y.”

Tim turns to leave. This always worked. Always without fail, you grab at his hand, lacing your fingers with his. Tim tries not to smile.

“Fine.”

“Was that so hard?”

“It was excruciating actually.”

“You're being dramatic.” He says, showing the woman behind the ticket counter your passes.

“Excuse me, I left all my drama in the Renaissance.”

“Oh really?”

“Ok not really but admit that both Andromeda and Stars, Forgive Me have better writing.“ You bite out.

“I- That’s unfair,” he says. You raise your brow in response.

“...”

“Fine,” he sighs. “But admit that Andromeda should have been named ‘Space Whores’.”

You squint at him then smile. “Oh abso-posi-tute-ly.”

“Have you seen this dirty old hockey mask?” You ask, tapping the glass as if the hockey mask would react if you just agitate it enough.

“What is that?” Tim asks, looking over your shoulder. His brows crinkles when he sees the mask. “How is that romantic?”

You hum. “Ask the curator?” You suggest, looking around. He was usually out and about. He could never sit still even if he tried. You lean down narrowing your eyes at the plaque. “Says here some dude called Jason terrorized 3 kids over summer.”

“That’s very romantic for our Jay to do.” Tim says, crossing his arms and switching to Cantonese. It was a weird habit but you knew why. Apparently for all Jason’s skill in languages he somehow could not get a handle on Cantonese.

“Not that Jason.” You say, smirking.

“You sure?” Tim asks, leaning closer to you.

You snicker, “As in character as that would be...”

“True,” he says, edging closer and closer to you. You rock on your heels nervously at the proximity. “It’s a shame, I thought there would be a machete to match too…” You can feel Tim’s breath on your cheek.

“OH LOOK AT THIS.” You say twisting away and pointing to a black and white photo. Tim’s hands leave his sides to grab for you, to pin you to his chest, but he has enough self control not to. Instead, he follows you.

“It’s just a man and a woman in business suits. Yanno something you can see in any metropolitan city.”

“Yes but,” you say, tracing a nonsensical pattern into the air, “I’ve heard a story about this, they were both extremely rich and heads of their companies, went from enemies to lovers - my all time favourite.”

Tim looks closer at the photo of the man and woman with their backs to the camera just holding hands along the NYC sidewalk. It’s cute. “I thought your favorite was lovers to enemies.”

“Well of course, it is! The drama, the absolute tragedy. It’s better than any trope in existence. But I love that this is just black and white. You don’t need anything else to indicate they’re in love with each other.”

Tim is all too tempted to point out that that likely wasn’t intentional, that it was a limitation of the time, but the look in your eyes robbed him of his breath, so he swallowed his thoughts.

Your eyes rove over the room frantically in search of something.

“So is there any reason you wanted to go to this exhibit instead of watching lavalantula 10 in theaters?” Tim says, tapping another case.

You turn to look at him, shock etched into your features.“10? We've seen lavalantula 1 through 9 in theaters? Why did I agree to that?”

“Cus you love me?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Probably not.”

Tim gives you a hurt look.

You scowl at him. You have no idea why everyone thinks he’s the nice Wayne sibling. He is a manipulative little shit who plays you like a fiddle. And yet here you are falling for it. An absolute buffoon.

You grumble an apology under your breath before continuing. “This is more cultural Timmers and lord knows we need more culture.” You wave sarcastically.

“I think we've lived enough culture.”

“it cannot hurt to experience more Tim,” you snort. He rolls his eyes. You grab onto his arm and look up at him bright eyed. Two can play it at that game. “Please Tim....”

He scowls at you. “Fine-”

“Yes!”

“-but you owe me a movie marathon.”

“Fine. Fine,” you nod, “just don’t pick something dumb.”

“I just got the new star trek box collection.” He beams.

“You could just shove me into a grave.” You sigh dramatically.

Tim grins. “The Renaissance called-”

“Oh fuck you, Grackle.”

He snorts and you hate that you fall in love with him more every time he laughs.

You cross your arms giving him a hard look. “Fine but we have to have an intermission of my choice.” You say, offering a hand.

“Deal.” He says, shaking your outstretched hand.

“Great, you've just agreed to watch the Great British Baking Show with me.” You say smug.

Tim curses himself.

"Are you still looking for that one painting?"

You tip your body back to look at him, your eyes wide and startled. It takes no time at all for them to shift to their usual angry shape. "Yes," you say quietly. It's Tim’s turn to be startled. Your hands curl into a fist. "It wasn't done and those bastards took it."

Tim reaches out to put his hand on your shoulder.

You cast your hands up to the sky dramatically. "The barbarity of it all!"

Tim smiles, letting his hand fall to his side. You would be ok.

You two walk on as Tim rants about StarGate could have had a bigger fanbase if it hadn’t excluded so many people. You add StarGate to the list of things to not remember.

You stop.

Your heart presses a bruise in your throat.

Framed in wood laden in ivy and marigolds is a painting that was painfully familiar. Even unwashed, you can still see the bright reds of rose petals, the wild greens of the women’s skirts, the brilliant oranges of marigolds, and the blinding whites of cobble stones. The image was a practice in entropy made into perfection. The chaos of Valentine's day in a small town square reduced and captured in an infinitesimal moment.

Damian told you that people had started calling them Warsaw’s Faceless Sweethearts. You hated that. A part of you wants to scream. You want to tell them that this wasn’t for them. This painting was made for one person and one person only.

You’ve been staring at it too long. Tim looks at you. You’ve known him too long to not know that he’s worried. That he’s feeling that stupid surge of protectiveness he always does when you go quiet. It’s in the cautious way he reaches out to you, slow and steady the way you approach a spooked animal. You want to lash out at him but he’s your Tim. Besides, too much of your mind is trapped in the painting, in the white gazebo, in between the couple who’s stuck in the moment before a kiss.

Tim stands closer to you, his fingers lacing into yours with centuries worth or practice. He looks at the painting. “This painting looks familiar.” Tim says for the lack of anything better to say. It was yours. He knew that with only a few seconds of looking.

“I… I don’t think so,” you say clumsily, “that’s definitely not the painting I’ve been looking for. Yup that one looks completely finished. Yup definitely.” You tug at Tim’s arm.

He gives you a look, staying perfectly in place, before turning back to the painting. His gaze draws low. In a glass case sits scraps of paper lined with charcoal. It takes an embarrassingly long time for Tim to realize that they’re sketches the artist did. Tim recognized the baker, the blacksmith, the seamstress, and even the constable. Most glaring of all he recognizes your marigolds. His eyes drift to the sketches of the couple in the gazebo. They were numerous, haphazard and unsatisfied. You were clearly frustrated with the groom’s face. Tim wonders who the poor guy could be.

In the corner of the page in the center, he sees it. “Wait… is that me?”

“NO!”

“Is that you?” He asks, pointing to the figure next to his. In the sketch, your lips are brushing against his. Tim’s lip tingles trying to replicate the sensation.

You’re frozen stiff. You try to pull your hand away. You want to bury your face in them. Scratch that, you wanna be buried six feet under. Tim doesn’t let go of your hand.

“That’s the umbrella you lost back in London.”

“I lost a lot in London, Timmy.”

“Well...” Ok. Yeah, you did. Hence why he can’t get you to London even with the promise of letting you ‘improve’ Buckingham palace. But that isn’t the point. “(Y/n), this is gorgeous.” He says, turning to you. You look at him stunned and scared. He squeezes your hand.

You shake yourself out of his grip. Tim lets you. He knows when to back down.

You step forward leaning on the rope separating you from your work. “I told you it wasn't finished.” You say, glaring at the painting as if willing the colors to move.

“What happened?” He asks, bumping his shoulder against yours.

You bump your shoulder against his. “Warsaw.”

“I don’t follow.”

“That little town in Warsaw. It was kind of hard to finish the painting when soldiers were setting fires to houses. Ok, they didn’t do it directly but there was smoke.”

“Yeah kind of.” Tim agrees, smiling sadly. He looks back at the painting. “I want to keep it.”

“What?” You blink not quite following the shift in conversation.

“Darling, I think we should have it. It’s ours after all.” Tim says holding your hand in his. Your mind is bouncing between too many things. He called you darling. He’s holding your hand. He’s smiling so sweetly at you. You’re addicted to that look in his eyes, pure unadulterated adoration.

You cover your face with your free hand, feeling the smile on your face go uncomfortable wide. You feel something on your forehead, a kiss like a raindrop. It comes again and you feel like you’re going to collapse.

“It’s yours..” He trails off hesitantly. “..if..” You look up at Tim, waiting with bated breath. Tim squeezes your hands. “...if you’ll be mine. ”

@batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @bungunz, @birdy-bat-writes, @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-inkage, @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay, @wunderstell @hyp-oh-critical @glorified-red

#Tim Drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagines #vampire au

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asagimeta · 3 years

Text

Enhypen Theory- Ruins & Rituals

So I've been watching Given/Taken alot lately for writing purposes and am curious about something....

What's with the weird monument?

The beginning of the video starts with Jungwon standing in a desert with a bleeding nose, but we don't see this scenery again until the third "arc" of the music video, when the rest of the boys join him and immitate firing arrows at this broken monument of some kind- we later see them at night, dressed in their uniforms, dancing in front of it- though before this Jungwon is seen again slowly burning from (presumably) the sunlight

But... what is it? What's the significance and why does the video open there? Why are they firing arrows? There are just so many questions and I, personally, haven't really seen this part of G/T addressed yet so I'm going to take a shot at it for my first HYBE theory! (I actually have been *following* HYBE theories for a few months now but I'm new to K-Pop in general so I've been quiet until now)

First, it's important to note that it stands out as odd from the rest of the video

The beginning and middle of the video have two primary locations with similar but still considerably different vibes-

Old fashioned clothes, indoors, a sense of containment and "other"ness, even though they aren't the same, you can still feel the connection to eachother- but that's completely removed in the desert scenes, wich are outdoors, in modern clothing, and present the boys with more individuality (IE: lacking uniforms)

And it makes me wonder if the ruins they're visiting are of their old testing facility

Let me break it down a bit better-

The two primary locations we see other than these ruins are a mansion-wich I'll, possibly incorrectly, refer to as "the orphanage" henceforth- and a testing/containment/research facility of some sort

At first I wondered if the ruins were simply the orphanage but that's clearly not the case as you can see the exterior of the mansion in one of the snapshots early on, it's very different looking- even the shape is extremely different, and it seems to be in a forest just below a hill, not in the middle of a desert

What about the other place though? The facility- as I'll call it from here on- doesn't have the same deniability

In fact, we see a very similarly shaped building to the ruins during one of the snapshots, but we don't have any clear indication of what it is, why would it just randomly be there? Unless, ofcourse, it isn't random

Initially I assumed the orphanage and the facility were the same place because the boys are wearing the uniforms in both locations, but I'm starting to think that isn't the case, and that the boys were moved to the facility after being experimented on at the orphanage

The thing is that vampires don't always turn when they're given the venom/virus/blood/whatever-it-is-that-turns them, and when this substance is manmade or engineered somehow, it takes even less frequently, this is true of all supernaturals, and again, is emphasized when the people attempting to make the transitions are humans experimenting with forces beyond their understanding, so it's typical of these practioners to have large "sample sizes" of potential experiments, often turning to hospitals, schools, and orphanages (to name a few) seeking the few candidates that can survive and thrive under these new conditions- from there they'll experiment on all of them until they get the desired result, and those select few will move on in the process to the next step

Sound familiar at all? I think this is further representative of the idol industry

We know that a big theme of Enhypen's storyline is going against the toxic nature of the idol industry, with songs like "Not For Sale" and "Mixed Up", and themes like being museum or display peices in "Let Me In", and the process of a large group of young boys being picked through and groomed until there are only a few left standing, who are then taken away from the "orphanage" and brought to a more intense experimentation/testing facility, sounds alot like idol-potentials who are on talent shows, win, and then assigned to a group and agency who put them through intense preperation for their debut

We know Enhypen went through that exact process on I-Land, so it's not a stretch to say this may be what they're referencing

But back to the ruins

You can see a definite difference in the way the orphanage looks vs the facility, wile the orphanage is a western style mansion that looks like it came from the late Victorian era- though, as Laina Sunflower pointed out, it does seem to have some modern conveniences like pen lights and electric fans- (the person conducting the experiments is also wearing a face mask, wich looks more modern from what I can tell)

-the facility is seemingly more modern than that, and has a much less homey feel, resembling instead a more containment type of vibe- large areas of open space, large glass windows dividing one from another, and the boys all seem to have their own rooms to keep separated from eachother, very unlike the mansion where you can probably safely assume that they share rooms, as unlike the sleek, minimal style of the facility, is cluttered with children's toys, furnishings, and accents, and you get the vibe that the boys are allowed around eachother often, the entire feel is more casual, and considering the number of tables in the dining room, you can also safely assume that there are many more inhabitants of the orphanage than just Enhypen themselves, meaning that it's more likely they share rooms

We know what the outside of the mansion looks like, but we don't have as definitive of a space for the facility

Wile the tower in the snapshot is a bit different in shape from the ruins, they're similar enough, and the landscape is notably perfect for a facility containing baby vampires- a barren desert devoid of the one thing they need most (blood) and full of the one thing that can most harm them (sunlight), it would be like keeping Superman in a chamber beneath the red sun surrounded by kryptonite, there's very little chance of them escaping

There's also something particularly strange about the ruins, in that there's a LADDER hanging off of one side leading to the top of the facility

The entire set up reminds me of the vampire facility in True Blood, and I wouldn't be surprised if the facility had this peculiar setup to make it even more difficult on the boys to possibly escape, I wouldn't even be surprised if these ruins are only a small portion of what's been left, maybe the original facility was a little in tune with the building from the snapshots before whatever happened to it... happened

There's also some other things I want to point out with this line of thought-

Sunghoon is kept in a room filled with orange light at one point, sitting on the edge of a bathtub-?- when his hand catches on fire

Some have theorized that this is Sunghoon's power, just like other boys have the power to levitate, hypnotize, and teleport, but what if that isn't it? What if that was the facility testing him in a room full of manufactured sunlight to see if he indeed burns in the sun? True Blood, again, has a similar theme (and it wouldn't be unusual for HYBE to draw influences from other popular media, what with TXT's frequent Harry Potter references)

Additionally, could this be in part about their escape from the facility? We see the boys make a running motion as though they're trying to get away, only to stop

We see something almost exactly the same in "Fever", but this time they succeed in seeming to go through the door to their freedom

I also wonder if the Victorian style clothing vs the French Roccoco style clothing is meant to show that there was a large gap between the time they were originally imprisoned and the time they got out?

This also fits with "Drunk Dazed", we see the mystery woman before the boys, still in their Rococo style clothes, performing a "ritual of blood" by pouring blood into the fountain, could the boys have been rescued, found, or "adopted" by **real** vampires after their, probable, human experiments? If the French Rococo style represents the boys during their escape period, this could make senses, and could also serve to explain, to a degree, their blood festivities in the first place

This doesn't make alot of sense though in terms of timing as the Victorian era is around two hundred years *after* the French Rococo period, so unless it's symbolic....

But I've wondered about the weird contrast between the boys being experimented into vampirism vs being turned naturally, as the mystery woman seems to heavily implicate that she herself is a vampire and that she's showing the boys a "natural" ritual, something that's part of the vampire community/species/way of life, but this is a giant contrast to the more clinical, experimentation vibe of what the boys had been going through in their orphanage/facility days; I'm reminded again of True Blood here, as well as "Bitten", "Servamp" (the manga), and plenty of others where the older, stronger vampires (or werewolves) free the younger ones from human captivity

Things I still haven't figured out or that I find most notable:

-Jungwon seems seperated from the others the most here, he's the one at the beginning with the nosebleed and the one catching on fire- something that doesn't happen to any of the other boys- and in one of the flashbacks he's the one standing outside of the orphanage banging on the window as the others go about their routines, and in “Fever” he’s the one left behind/last in line when everyone is running towards the door, he seems to be the "main" charector in Given/Taken, as he's the last one on screen revealing what everyone suspected: that they're vampires; he's also the one with teleportation, most prominantely seen in Drunk/Dazed, flittering around outside the room where Sunoo is pouring his blood into his glass and coming in between the two groups of three who, according again to Laina Sunflower, seem to be at odds with eachother

-Sunoo is also the one seen to be biting (or attempting to bite) Jungwon, this could be a really interesting nod to their relationship, the two seem to be connected in a special way (is this why Jungwon is outside Sunoo’s room in Drunk/Dazed, flittering around anxiously as though he’s not sure what to do with himself or isn’t sure what to do about something that’s bothering him?) Could Sunoo have been responsible for turning Jungwon, or maybe completing his transformation? Or even just feeding off of him, wich, in some lore, creates a special bond between two vampires?

-Speaking of Drunk/Dazed, we see the mansion reappear during their first "bloody birthday party"- when there was only one candle on the cake- does this mean that they celebrated their life as vampires before being transferred to the facility? Were they vampires for a fair amount of time- several months or maybe even a year or two- before being taken away?

-Why are they immitating firing arrows? They don't seem to be *actually* doing this, just mimicking it, why expose themselves to the sun just for something symbolic? Is it a repetition of something they've done before? Did they originally destroy the facility themselves? Or it it something else..?

If anyone has any ideas definitely let me know, HYBE is my new favorite thing for theorizing!

#enhypen #enhypen theory #hybe #hybe universe #kpop #kpop theory #hybe theory #hybe universe theory #dark moon with enhypen

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thessaliah · 3 years

Note

Integra(Hellsing)

First impression: "Badass girlcrush acquired" with "sexiest voice ever" (Yoshiko Sakakibara) when I watched the original Gonzo show, but I was familiar with scans floating of the manga too.

Impression now: Hellsing isn't the deepest show, it's all flash over substance, but I recognized Hirano's Dracula franchise tributes (originally written for the anniversary of the novel in the 90s) and I became utterly smitten with Integra and Hellsing in general, in particular the manga. I roleplayed Hellsing characters for years (with a big cast of friends), wrote over one hundred fanfiction (most AU'ed by now), ran communities and moderate forums, joined the translation projects, etc. Hellsing was a passion and Integra was my favorite character and muse. She was the girlboss before this became kind of a meme. I've always appreciated how shoujo-esque her background is within a seinen. Wealthy orphan noble daughter with a vampire pet who served her since she was a teenager. Integra and Alucard are kind of responsible for my Master/Servant fetish in pairings and relationships, in a way. There are many girlbosses now, but Integra is eternal. I appreciate how Hirano didn't ever try to humiliate her for being the one in control (this sadly doesn't happen in the Gonzo TV show, where they had two close calls sexual assault on her, and stripped her out of power). Hirano managed to make her show her vulnerable side, making her grow in her position of leader (in the manga only) from inexperienced beginnings during the crisis to more in control without punishing her for being the dominant party, he rewarded her. She ends up in her rebuilt mansion, with her loved ones, instead of betrayed and handcuffed in jail (Gonzo).

Favorite moment: Alucard (with his appearance when he was Vlad III) kneeling to Integra surrounded by a forest of impaled foes in the background, volume 8, while they greet each other fondly in the middle of a wrecked London. This is peak courtly love:

Idea for a story: I wrote like 100 Hellsing fics. I've exhausted my ideas of a story already. Besides the manga ended on such a perfect note, I didn't need to add more. It was one of those "When all is said and done" moments.

Unpopular opinion: Back when Hellsing was ongoing, my "unpopular opinion" was that Integra would never marry to "continue the family line" because she doesn't care about that. It's not her "duty as a Hellsing" (gross). She doesn't trust easily to open up to a stranger. Guess who was right and understood her character? Oh, I also think she's more "traditionally feminine" than Seras Victoria in the manga.

Favorite relationship: with Alucard. I've been a big Dracula fan across media: Universal movies, comics, Hammer horror, all types of spinoffs, musicals, etc. There's no other character I've actively shipped with any version of the Count than Integra. They are perfect together. I don't mind when he has a love interest, but that doesn't mean I care about that romantic angle or the relationship until Alucard and Integra came. They have such a complex, appealing, sexy connection. It's not the typical "light in the darkness" where only he's affected, but a clash where both changed by their relationship. Before Hellsing, "Dracula's potential human love interest" fell into these two types of relationships. The first was the Good and Wise woman who can change his ways or tame them (think Lisa of Castlevania, as one of the best examples) or the target he'll seduce/fail to seduce (usually Mina/Lucy in the movies or their clones). Integra is none of this. That's why their ambiguous relationship was so appealing (it doesn't mean I didn't like the others, just that I wasn't that much of a shipper). She has his leash, and he loves it. He kills, and she orders it. That's why it worked for me in a way no other clicked before. Because she likes him who kills and impales people for her, she's not enamored with this potential "good man" he could be or a lie he represented himself to trick her. She likes, understands, and accepts him, and he commits his Dracula-ish actions but as a "noble demon" warlord to his lady. He kills as brutally he did, but to protect his land as he used to do as a mortal man. Integra combines what Alucard lost in the past: a divine master he devoted to serving (Vlad-God), and the woman he failed to get (Dracula-Mina). When they reunited, he finally can be at peace because she, unlike them, never abandoned him. Plus their UST is sexy as hell.

Favorite headcanon: Her mother belonged to a royal family from India.

#meme #character meme #integra hellsing

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fandomtrxsh19 · 3 years

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FINAL THOUGHTS ON FATE

I just finished Fate and.......... boy do I have thoughts about it. It wasn’t TERRIBLE, just meh. There were somethings I liked, somethings I didn’t like, and somethings I hated. This will contain SPOILERS.

Things I liked:

The sets. Some of the locations were really pretty such as the Greenhouse and outside of the school.

The performances of some of the cast were passable at best. Precious Mustapha’s Aisha and Danny Griffin’s Sky are among the standouts for me.

Bloom vs The Burned Ones: The transformation was a nice callout to the transformations of the original. The fire surrounding her and the fire wings were are really nice and cool touch.

Beatrix was an interesting villain to say the least. I like how she’s a bit of a mystery. I’ve noticed that she’s mostly like Darcy with some powers of Stormy.

The cast interactions: Watching behind the scenes videos and seeing their Instagrams, you can tell that the main girls are really close. You can tell in the Netflix interview that the cast really loved and cares for each other.

The music: I like how they used lesser known songs and others in the scenes, especially in the party scene.

The special effects: How they did the effects for the magic is pretty cool.

Things I didn’t like(strap in):

The Whitewashing: Of course this can’t be ignored or swept under the rug. The is a major issue on the directors and the creative team’s part. One of the things that makes the original so amazingly brilliant is in its diversity, having 3 of the main characters being WOC. This was and still is a bit step in representation on every shows. Winx Club is one of the first shows that I’ve seen where half of the main characters and lots of other characters didn’t look like me, and I LOVED that. The way they casted a white woman in the roles of both Musa and Flora is extremely shocking l and disappointing. Both Elisha and Elliot definitely tried their best with these characters, but this is still a huge issue. Netflix and the creators KNEW about this. The only reason why Flora’s name got changed to Terra is because of the backlash and the fandom calling them out on their bullshit. The way that Aisha’s role has been changed to a stereotype is simply disappointing but not surprising

The Characters: Not going to lie, lots of characters have been messed with and changed in many ways, none are really on a positive way. Bloom is extremely clueless and annoying. She only thinks of herself and whenever she’s on screen, it’s always like she’s internally saying “Everything’s about me. Let’s focus on me.” It just left a bad taste in my mouth. Stella’s just a bitch in this version. She just goes along acting like she’s above it all. This Stella acts like she doesn’t care about the rest of the girls and it’s really infuriating. She just insults these girls that are supposed to be her friends. She just fills the cliche of “ the bitchy blonde” and thanks, I hate it.

The Writing: Where do I start with this? It isn’t later seasons Riverdale bad, but, it’s still terrible. It’s like the writers haven’t even seen or heard of the source material. Just, the lines must’ve felt so awkward for the actors to say. The actors defientley tied their best with what they were given, but that didn’t really make it better in my opinion. They get old fast, especially the way how Bloom kept on saying “mansplaning” whenever she was taking to Sky was just so cringy. They referenced Harry Potter, Earth culture, and movies so many times and I didn’t like it. In the original, the Specilists, Winx, and Trix don’t know a lot about earth culture such as social media, and Harry Potter. I think this helps separate Earth with Magix. The Netflix adaptation decided to yeet that out the window and was like “Lets make this world like our own.” Part of the charm of the original is the even fusion between futuristic and fantasy aesthetics. Guess, they messed up....wow

The fashion: This is obvious. There’s no transformations, no cute and iconic outfits, just clothes that make the cast look bulky. The cast literally look like soccer moms omg. Stella? Wearing black? I don’t know her. Bloom? Wearing red? I don’t know her. Bloom is only shown wearing red ONCE. The whole reason why she mainly wears blue is to contrast her red head, and fire powers. Stella is APPALED, good sir, HOW DARE YOU!!

The character erasures: There’s no Winx Club without Tecna. Our tecnomagic icon is one of the pillars of the group. She makes sure descisons are thought through logically and comes up with amazing plans. Her powers are extremely powerful and useful in lots of situations. Also, the lack of Helia, Brandon, and Timmy disappointed me. Those guys are amazing characters and Brandon has an amazing personality and character growth that he goes through. Smh Netflix

The pace: The way scenes and storylines would progress was just awkward. The show starts off with Bloom at Alfea, then meeting Sky and I was just like......”What?” Scenes that are more “down to earth” and “chill went by kinda quickly to get to the “darker” and “edgier” scenes. It just weird and boring sometimes

Miscellaneous: The biphobia in Riven’s character and the fat phobia in the first 20 minutes. Seeing Elliot’s character constantly being bullied, not only broke my heart, but left a really bad taste in my mouth.

Now, these are just my opinions and scratch the surface of my feelings about this. As an adaptation of a preexisting property, I give it a 4/10 and as an independent show, I give it a 5/10. There were some good points and character growth, like the whole thing with Stella and her mom, but it was mostly disappointing.

According to Ignio, he and Brian Young think that animation is only for kids. He has literally said in an interview that this is “for the older fans who grew up with Winx” and “ They would like the darker and edgier version.” This makes me mad since I prefer animation to live action. These showrunners, creators, etc are in the wrong here. There are still lots of other cartoons that have a bright and colorful aesthetic and tell dark stories(I.e Madoka Magica). We don’t want another Vampire Diaries or Riverdale. We’ve already seen enough teens shows that are dark and edgy. What we need/want is a show that tells a story and honors the source material in an appropriate and special way. What we wanted and needed is a Winx Club adaptation that respects the source material, and keeps its fun, bright, and colorful aesthetic. Not, whatever Netwinx gave us. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go rewatch the Nick/4kids/Cinelume dubs and WoW so I can cleanse my palette from what I just watched.

PSA: PLEASE don’t bully or harass any of the actors. They clearly tried their best with what they were given. It isn’t their fault at all.

#winx club #fate the winx saga #fate spoilers #final thoughts #world of winx

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v-hope · 4 years

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Enamoured

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Army!Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst if you squint your eyes

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: After having drunkenly tweeted your love for ‘your boyfriend who’s not really your boyfriend’ while he was out of the country with his members, he decides he’s doing things right and is finally taking you out on that ‘first date’ he owed you.

A/N: This can be read as a stand-alone one shot or as part 21 of my social media au “Hobi’s Girl” (how did I even make it this far omg). I hope you like it and let me know your thoughts 💕 Also, since I’ve noticed some of you are a little paranoid over when the angst is coming, I’ll just do your hearts a favour and say to just enjoy this part, nothing bad is coming from it jsñsks

You hadn’t really noticed how much you had missed Hoseok the past week until you were finally once again to his side, after having entered his car mumbling a timid ‘hello’ and seeing him there wearing a white button-down that had your eyes unconsciously fixing on his uncovered arms as his sleeves remained rolled up, before they went up to meet his eyes and smiling lips. Yes, you had definitely missed him one hell of a lot.

And it really did take everything in you not to grab him by his collar and pull him towards you to trap his incredibly tempting lips in yours right there.

“Where are we going?” you wondered as you turned slightly around, looking for the seatbelt in hopes of shaking off your previous thoughts — feeling him start the engine once you had securely buckled it up.

“You’ll see once we get there” he kept it vague, grabbing your hand to plant a small kiss on its back.

Pouting, and knowing well enough you would not get it out of him no matter how hard you pushed it, you stared out the window as you could only hope for your outfit to be appropriate enough for whatever it was he had planned — a light pastel pink sweater tucked inside a loose black skirt being the best you could do after Hoseok had not given in to your curiosity, no matter how many times you had texted him asking for a clue about your date. At least you had the weather on your side; only a few clouds covering the sky as the rather warm evening had just begun.

The second you felt him gently squeeze the hand of yours he had grabbed minutes ago and your eyes travelled from the window to his face, meeting his loving chocolate eyes before he focused them back on the road, you couldn’t help but wonder what had you possibly done right in your life to find yourself being right next to him in that very moment.

Not being able to hide both his smile and the way your piercing stare on him was making him feel, Hoseok decided to speak up after a couple of minutes, letting you know you were about to arrive, and, just like that, successfully having you look out the window again instead as you tried to find out where you were going to.

After that, it didn’t take long for the two of you to reach what you easily recognized as the Han River, feeling your heart speed up the second he did indeed park his car as close to it as he could, allowing you to get the perfect view of a dock filled with different kinds of boats and a couple of people enjoying their evening.

At the sight of your body tensing up, Hoseok couldn’t help but let out a small laugh under his breath.

“Why are you so nervous?” he wondered, reaching to unbuckle his seatbelt and then doing the same with yours.

“I’m not” you stated immediately, yet your breathy voice betrayed you just as fast, having him cock one of his eyebrows. “I just… is it safe to go out in the daylight?”

“What are we, vampires?” Hoseok teased you, earning a glare from you as you cynically laughed along.

“You know what I mean, you smartass”.

He chuckled one more time. “Yeah, it’s okay” he reassured you.

Not really explaining any further, he leaned over to the glove compartment — taking out something you recognized as masks and leaving them on your lap as he then proceeded to unfold two black bucket hats.

“Borrowed these from Jeongguk” he let you know as he put one of them on your head. “But don’t tell him”.

A giggle escaped your mouth at his last comment. “Don’t worry, I won’t” you laughed; having to tilt your head up to look at him, as the black fabric managed to cover your eyes completely.

“Can you wear this for me?” he held up the mask he had just grabbed for you to see. “It won’t be for too long”.

With a nod of your head, you let him know it was okay for him to adjust the item that was soon covering half of your face.

“You sure we’re not vampires trying not to get burned by the sun now?” you teasingly questioned with muffled voice after his face had been almost completely covered as well — not really getting to see the way he had rolled his eyes at your words, yet just knowing he had done so.

“Let’s go, cutie vamp of mine”.

Smiling rather amusedly at his new nickname for you, you didn’t wait for him to open the door for you; instead getting off the car yourself and meeting him right outside as he reached your side.

“Shall we go?” he asked, offering one of his hands for you to hold as he locked his car with the other one, later shoving the keys into his pocket.

“Mhm...” you accepted his hand.

Wasting no time in interlocking your fingers, you turned around to make your way alongside the river, only to have his hand pull you back towards him as you were apparently going the wrong way.

“Where are you going?” Hoseok questioned with knitted eyebrows.

“Aren’t we going for a walk?” you mirrored his confused expression.

“You really think I brought you to the Han River to walk?”

“Yeah?”

Laughing at how cute he thought you were, he moved closer to you. “So like, to the Han River… for a walk” he remarked. “Walking. Next to a river”.

“Yah!” you called him out, letting go of his hand in annoyance only to have him grab it right back. “I got that we’re at a river, no need to repeat it so much”.

Another chuckle escaped his mouth, pulling you briefly inside his arms as he planted a kiss on the crown of your head. “You’re so cute”.

Feeling the heat reach your cheeks and not really knowing what to reply to that, you had no choice but to walk beside him as his hand pulled you with him towards the water instead.

“What are we doing then?” you asked in a pout as you cutely swung your hands together.

“You see that yacht over there?” he asked you, pointing his finger towards a rather big white yacht alongside the dock, one you were sure you had seen in a couple of Seoul tourism ads before.

“Yeah” you answered mindlessly, “so wh—”

That’s when it hit you, almost choking on air when you looked up to him and could somehow see the way he was grinning behind his mask.

“You didn’t”.

“Considering we have it all to ourselves for the next couple of hours, I’d say I did” he smirked, not giving you time to form a proper sentence before he threw his arm over your shoulders to guide you towards the boat with him. “Well, all to ourselves plus the captain, of course. I have no idea how to ride one of those”.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his confession, not saying another word as you followed him towards an old man you later recognized as the captain once Hoseok went up to greet him; giving off the impression of them already knowing each other given how friendly they seemed right there while you silently stood by their side — even more when Hobi placed his hand on your upper arm to pull you closer to him and introduced you as his girlfriend.

Trying your best not to let any of them know the effect said word had had on you, you focused instead on listening to the instructions the captain was giving you two regarding the yacht before he let you in.

And if you thought you were about to choke on air when you found out Hobi had deadass rented a yacht for your first date to take place on, when you entered its saloon you could’ve easily passed out at the mere impression. Not only were the interior designs so bright yet modest that made it hard for you to stop staring everywhere, but there was also a nicely set up table with two steel cloches covering what you supposed was your food, and two glasses as a bottle of wine rested in the middle.

Being way too immersed in your surroundings, you missed the moment Hoseok took off both the bucket hat and the mask, and threw them over the beige sofa right behind you; only realising of it when you had him a few inches away as he proceeded to do the same with the ones you were wearing — his small smile growing bigger at the sight of your beautiful face no longer being covered up.

“I really wanted it to be just the two of us, so I made sure the staff got your favourite food cooked right before we arrived...” he explained as he softly ran his fingers through your hair, trying to brush the few messy strands the hat had left. “I also asked them for that dessert I know you like, but I’m bringing that later. I hope you like it...”

“Like it?” you emphasized, opening your eyes wider in amazement as they travelled around the room, “Hobi, I’m—”

Speechless. You were speechless. To the point you couldn’t even bring yourself to tell him so. Not like you actually needed to, for one look at your open yet silent mouth was all he needed to understand — tenderly taking your hand in his to pull you even closer, enough for your chest to press against his.

“You really didn’t have to go through so much trouble for me” you managed to finally speak, as he loosely wrapped his arms around your figure and you instinctively rested your hands on his chest.

“It wasn’t trouble at all” he shook his head as his fingers softly caressed your back. “We deserve this, don’t you think? Actually being alone without having to worry about someone seeing us for once...”

“Yes, but…” you pouted, unconsciously moving your hands up to the back of his head, right as he tilted it slightly in order for you to go on. “How am I ever supposed to do something this amazing for you?”

The way he managed to laugh in such low tone sent shivers running down your spine — feeling your eyes close in anticipation when he leaned in just enough for his lips to brush on yours.

“You can always just kiss me, you know?”

Letting yourself go for a second, and right as his lips were about to trap your lower one in them, however, you hissed, pulling slightly away and placing your hands back on his chest for him not to move any closer.

“What is it?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips.

You bit down on your lower lip, in hopes for your semblance to remain serious as you said: “I just remembered I have this very, very strict ‘no kissing on the first date’ rule”.

Letting out a snort that was followed with a roll of eyes, he grabbed both your wrists before he pulled them over his shoulders so you would wrap your arms around his neck the way he wanted to. “Come here, you tease”.

You didn’t have time to properly laugh when his lips were already on yours, leaving you breathless when his hands rested on the curve of your back to press your chest tighter against his — his mouth faintly opening, only to deepen the kiss as he closed his lips again to trap your lower one in them.

Smiling at the sweet taste of his lips you had missed so much for the past week, you couldn’t help but tighten your arms as well around his neck, causing a cute chuckle to escape his mouth.

“God, I missed you” he whispered breathily, planting another kiss to your lips.

“I missed you, too” you replied, smiling in content when his mouth abandoned yours to press against your cheek.

Moving his hands down to rest on your hips, he went back to your eye level. “We should probably eat now before the food gets cold”.

A small hum coming from your slightly curved up lips was all he needed to walk you hand in hand over the table, holding one of the chairs for you to sit on before he went over the other side so he could do the same.

It was kind of impressive to you, how you had always felt somewhat awkward, insecure even, when it came to ‘fancy’ dates like this; yet with Hobi it didn’t feel like such at all — if anything, you felt comfortable as ever being there with no one else but him as the two of you ate, drank, and chatted the evening away.

Everything just felt right with him, and you loved not having to think too much, if not at all, of what to say when you were around him. Everything felt natural, familiar — from the way you would feed each other some of your food, to the way you could so easily act like a complete dumbass or diss one another as you laughed ever so carelessly.

And so, in between laughs, stories you had never told each other before, and sweets nothing being exchanged, you didn’t even notice nearly two hours had passed by. Only minding about the time when Hoseok gave his watch a quick glance before he stared at you with an inviting smile.

“You wanna go out before the sun sets?”

The way his eyebrows had moved up and down in a goofy way had you laughing as you grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards you to check the hour as well.

“You sure it hasn’t set already?” you wondered, not being able to hide your surprise at the hour you were seeing right then.

“Let’s hope not” he smiled.

You didn’t have to think about it, standing up right after him and following his steps over to the deck — both your faces lighting up at the sight of the sun having not completely settled yet, causing the sky to almost look like a painting as orange and pink tones took over it. The best part being that you were far enough from the shore for anyone to even realise there were two people standing on the yacht’s deck.

Unconsciously speeding up at the sight, you rushed towards the bow in hopes of getting a better view; your eyes travelling around in awe for a couple of seconds before you turned around to look at Hoseok with a bright smile, only to find him with his phone’s camera facing your way — apparently managing to capture the exact moment you had turned around, given the pleased giggle that had just escaped his mouth as his eyes turned the shape of two crescent moons.

Before you could even call him out on having caught you off guard, you had him motioning towards you with his hand.

“Stay right there, stay right there” he ordered.

“Yah!” you exclaimed as you covered your face with your hands. “Don’t”.

“Aw, come onnnn” he dragged on the last letter. “I barely have like two pictures of you and you look so beautiful right now with the sun setting behind you” his lower lip stuck out, forming a cute pout you couldn’t resist.

“Oh? So I don’t always look beautiful?” you couldn’t help but taunt him with a raised eyebrow and a playful smile.

Rolling his eyes at your words, he came closer to you with his phone still facing you. “You look even more beautiful than usual” he pointed out, biting his lower lip as he focusedly looked for the best angle.

And right there, as you felt your cheeks burn and turned your face to the side out of shyness, he had seemed to find it — letting out a content sigh as he examined the picture he had just taken and then shoving his phone back into his pocket, he walked over to you so he could wrap you securely inside his arms.

Not saying another word, you wrapped your arms tightly around his waist as well, letting your face rest against his chest as his chin rested on the top of your head — silently agreeing on just staying right there for a while watching as the sun went completely down and out of your sights.

“The view is so pretty” you mumbled in awe, watching the city lights starting to simultaneously turn on.

“It is…” he agreed, pulling you closer to his body when a light breeze reached your bodies, and pressing a small kiss to your temple. “I like this”.

“What?”

“Being actually outside with my girl without having to worry about someone else seeing us”.

“You never… did this with your other girlfriends?” you questioned, resting your palms on his chest so you could pull slightly away from him and look him in the eye. “Going out, I mean”.

He shrugged, taking a deep breath and then exhaling as he confessed: “I never had other girlfriends since I became an idol…”

You froze in your spot, searching for any kind of joke in his expression. “No way”.

“Is it so hard to believe?” he asked. “You’ve seen how hard it is for me to date”.

“But we’ve managed to anyway…” you reminded him. “You could’ve managed with someone else, too”.

He shrugged again. “After what happened with Jin hyung, I guess I just wasn’t willing to take the risk”.

“What happened with him?” you couldn’t help but ask, feeling your cheeks burn as his piercing stare fell on you. “Oh, no. You don’t have to… I’m being nosy, sorry I asked”.

“No, you’re not. It’s okay” he smiled sweetly. “If I’m asking you to keep us a secret, I think you should at least know the whole story”.

“The whole story?” you wondered almost inaudibly in utter confusion.

Nevertheless, you knew he had heard you when he nodded his head, taking a couple of seconds to collect his thoughts before he finally said: “You remember Kang Jisoo?”

“Of course” you said somewhat carefully, not having heard about Seokjin’s ex girlfriend in so long. “She and Jin were so cute together…”

“So you remember what happened…”

You nodded slowly. “She left him, yeah”.

“Only she didn’t” Hoseok pointed out.

“She…” your voice came out weak, for some reason feeling your chest tighten in anticipation. “She didn’t?”

Hoseok shook his head no, taking a step towards you and holding your hands in his. “That’s what the official statement let the fans know, that she had decided to attend college on another city and hence they couldn’t be together anymore, which was in part true, I guess. But BigHit... they…” he sighed uneasily. “We had just debuted, and having one of us being ‘off the market’ as they called it wasn’t helping with the promotions, especially since Jin hyung was our visual, so…”

“They… broke them up?” you mumbled, remembering what he had so vaguely said that night he went over to yours for the first time looking for comfort... right after his manager had talked to him about you.

“Yeah…” he confirmed your worries. “At first they would just make it hard for Jin hyung to make time for her, but when they still managed to make it work, BigHit started to tell him multiple times that they had to break up... they even talked to Jisoo noona so she would leave him, but when none of that happened... they didn’t really give them a choice anymore” his voice alone let you know how much the whole situation had affected him as well. “It was awful. We all were there seeing how much pain he was going through and there was nothing we could do about it…” his jaw tensed at the memory. “After that neither of us wanted to go through something like that, so... no dating”.

You felt a twinge in your chest, understanding then why he had been so reluctant about the whole dating thing before you came into the picture. “I’m so sorry things are like that for all of you…”

He shrugged, as if trying to take importance away from it. “It’s just how it is, I guess”.

“Doesn’t mean it’s okay for it to be like that” you pointed out, suddenly feelings defensive over all seven of them.

“I know...”

You sighed, staring ahead of you only to realise the darkness of the night was already taking over the city completely — staring into the the sky as you internally debated whether you should ask what you had in mind or not.

“And after all that happened with Seokjin...” you decided to go for it in the end. “You still want to be with me, for real?”

“I made it this far without having a serious relationship, but with you…” he sighed. “I really don’t know what you did to me, Y/N. Since the first moment I saw you, I felt something. And sure, it could’ve stayed just as something physical, but when we started talking it was so easy for me to fall for you. I just wanted to talk to you all the time” he shook his head, letting out a breathy laugh as he reminescenced back when you had just started texting. “And then when we were somewhat together, the mere thought of not being with you… or the thought of you with someone else…” his head tilted at the unpleasant ideas running through his mind. “No, I want to be with you. As a couple. No matter what”.

“Even if it’s too risky?” you whispered.

He bit his lower lip. “You’re worth taking the risk for” he reassured you. “Just… if anyone finds out about us…”

“BigHit will break us up” you finished his sentence rather bitterly.

“I don’t know, love. I really don’t” he pouted, not really wanting to even think of such possibility. “Things were different back then… Jin hyung and Jisoo noona were together since high school, so everyone knew about them from the beginning” he pointed out. “But we’re not public, so maybe if it was only them and the boys knowing, it would be okay” a weak, hopeful smile curved up the corners of his lips. “And the only way to know that is if they actually found out about us, and I just… I can’t risk losing you, Y/N”.

“I told you, Seok-ie. You won’t lose me” you hummed, cupping his face in your hands. “I thought being private was just about us not getting hate, but now that I know about BigHit…” a sigh escaped your lips. “I’ll make extra sure to keep it a secret, don’t worry”.

He nodded his head ever so softly, letting his forehead rest on yours. “It sucks having to ask you this, though…”

“It’s okay” you reassured him, kissing the tip of his nose before you pulled him inside your arms.

“I’m sorry I can’t be better for you…” he mumbled, burying his face in the crook of your neck as his arms wrapped around you as well. “I’m sorry I can’t make much time for you, and that we can only see each other like one or two hours sometimes during the nights… and that I’ll eventually have to go on tour...” he went on, his voice becoming breathier with each word. “And I’m sorry I—”

“Stop apologizing” you cut him off in what sounded more like a plea, peppering a couple of kisses on the nape of his neck, only to feel him relax under your touch.

“You deserve so much better though, but I’m just too selfish to—”

“Yah! Jung Hoseok” you called him out this time, making him remove his face from your body so you could cup it in your hands and look into his eyes as you spoke. “Don’t you dare say I deserve better after how hard you’ve tried for us to work out together”.

“Just trying won’t always be enough…”

“And yet that’s all I need to know you’re what’s best for me” you reassured him. “I don’t care about you being with me all the time. Sure, it would feel like heaven to be with you more often, but as long as I know that you care about me, about us… as long as you make an effort… that’s enough for me. All the rest, I don’t care about”.

“I’m still sor—”

“I don’t want you to say sorry anymore” you let him know, having him lower his head in guilt. “Hey, love. Look at me” you tried to call his attention, cupping his face a little more securely so you could make him lock eyes with you again. “You really don’t have to apologize, okay? I want to be with you. Even if I did deserve ‘better’ like you said, I wouldn’t want anyone but you” you smiled weakly at the way his face had seemed to light up because of your words. “I want you, Hoseok. No one else”.

The way you could see his eyes shine in the darkness of the night, along with the heart-shaped smile that was taking over his mouth as he ever so adoringly stared at you, were enough for your heart to skip a beat as you felt yourself become shy.

“What?” you asked in a small voice, in hopes of him to stop staring at you like you held the stars in the sky.

What you got instead, was a small, breathy laugh escaping his mouth as he moved closer to you; being his turn to cup your face and make you look him in the eye.

“I love you” he said. “I love you so, so much...” the way he repeated those words like honey made you wonder for a second there if you weren’t just dreaming of it. “But you already knew that”.

“I… I didn’t…” you stuttered, being way too stunned to form any kind of proper sentence.

“I thought my texts had been clear enough?” he teased you with a cocked eyebrow.

“I was kinda freaking out when I read them, you can’t blame me...” you sheepishly admitted.

Hoseok chuckled. “I’m saying it again then” his hands cupped your face a little tighter. “I love you, Y/N. So much, so much”.

You smiled brightly at both his confession and his mocking reference to your drunken tweet, loving the way his own shining smile mirrored yours as a small, blissful giggle escaped your mouth.

“And I love you” you confessed, too. “So much, so much” your addition earned a shy giggle from him. “But you obviously knew that”.

“I did” his smile grew wider, lovingly bumping the tip of his nose with yours as he leaned in. “But I just found out I like hearing it way more than reading it”.

Chuckling, you closed your eyes for a second as you shook your head in amusement. “I love you, Hobi” you repeated, feeling his thumbs faintly trace your lower lip, just like he had done right before kissing you for the first time.

“I love you, angel…”

Although the two of you could both say those words and listen to the other say them forever, the urge to close the space between your mouths was stronger — meeting each other mid-way as you had leaned in at the same time.

With his fingers tracing their way down to your lower back as his other hand cupped one of your cheeks, he used his thumb to draw small circles on your chin as he kept you in place to take control over the way your mouths moved together — receiving a pleasant hum from you when his tongue softly made its way into your mouth; having your fingers entangling themselves in the light brown locks at the back of his head.

“Be my girlfriend” his words came out muffled as he spoke in between kisses.

You felt your heart jump at what you couldn’t tell had been a question or more of a demand. Either way, you found yourself pulling slightly away from him so you could fix your teasing eyes on his.

“I thought I already was your girlfriend?”

“Aish” he tilted his head in disbelief, squinting his eyes as he reminded you: “Didn’t you want me to ask you officially? Make up your mind, woman”.

You tilted your head back as you let a laugh escape your throat — going back to him straight away to lightly peck his lips and nod your head as your answer.

“Say it” he demanded in a whisper as he pressed another kiss to your mouth. “I want to hear you say it”.

“Yes, Hoseok” you complied almost immediately, smiling sweetly. “I want to be your girlfriend”.

That was all it took for his now smiling lips to be back on yours and his hands on your waist to move you slightly backwards; just enough for your back to press against the yacht’s bow as he cornered you right there.

However, he was not really able to intensify the kiss the way he wanted to, for the boat decided to turn around in that exact moment, causing you to jolt up out of surprise and move away from the bow out of instinct.

“Oh!” you let out as your hand clutched to your chest, earning an amused laugh from him at your reaction. “I think we’re going back to the dock”.

Puckering up his lips in thought, Hoseok stretched his arm out to look at his watch. “We still have a good couple of minutes left…” he let you know, drawing his eyes back to you before a smirk took over his factions as he proposed: “You wanna go back inside to make out some more before we have to return?”

The way he had tugged at the fabric of your skirt to pull you closer right there, made it almost impossible for you to say anything other than yes.

“Oh well, I guess there goes my ‘no kissing’ rule” you sighed overdramatically, right as you let him take your hand in his to guide you back into the saloon with him.

“That rule died literally the first time we met” Hoseok taunted you.

“If I remember clearly, that wasn’t a date” you pointed out with daring eyes that had him laughing in a second.

“That doesn’t really help your situation, love”.

Letting your jaw fall slightly open, you let him know you had taken full offence in his words. “Okay, now I just want to stay here” you slipped your hand away from his so you could go back to your previous spot.

Another chuckle coming from your boyfriend’s mouth let you know just how much he was enjoying teasing you right then — taking it one step further by pressing his lips to your own. Ones that later traced their way down to your neck, where he focused on teasing one certain spot that had you wrapped around his finger in a heartbeat.

“You sure?” his voice came out low, knowing well enough what he was doing to you.

“Ugh, I hate you” you whined, wanting to sound annoyed yet not managing to sound any other than needy for his touch.

“You love me” he reminded you, pressing one last kiss to the crook of your neck before going back to your eye level with a beaming smile.

You crossed your arms over your chest, staring into the far city lights instead of him. “Well yeah, you love me too, so…”

Hoseok laughed wholeheartedly, grabbing one of your wrists to pull you towards him. “Why are we even arguing, just come here”.

Not feeling like wasting any more of the little time you had left before having to go back, you just gave up your offended act and let him drag you back into the room you had previously been in, not being able to properly take in your surroundings when his lips were back on yours, just like your hands around each other, and your bodies clumsily stumbled against the furniture as you made your way over to the couch.

Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time, becoming an official couple, making out like there was no tomorrow… it was fair to say, this was the most eventful first date you had ever had. And you wouldn’t have wanted it to be with anyone else.

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