Tumgik
#and then I wait for cars to run me over for them I love them so much they’re so silly
dante-mightdie · 1 day
Note
violently feral for bc!price who expects to come home to a home full of screaming kids and a sleepy wife but when he walks in the door it's complete silence and said wife is in the bath waiting oh so patiently for him (and probably his dic--)
oh this would cure all my ailments
c/w: fluff, suggestive content at the end, alcohol
he gets slightly nervous when he walks in the door to be greeted with a deadly quiet house. he got home later than usual but he still expected the kids to be up, running around and causing a ruckus whilst he tired wife tries to wrangle them up for bath and bed time
he would assume you packed up with the kids and left but you’re car is still outside. your keys, shoes and jacket still by the door. also, your youngest’s favourite stuffed animal is still on the sofa and he knows you wouldn’t be able to get them off the driveway without it
he treks through the house, looking for you. it doesn’t take long, opening the bathroom door to find you soaking in a bubble bath, a glass of wine dangling from your fingertips, your eyes open and a smile graces your lips when you see it’s your husband
“I thought I heard you come in, darling.” you hum, allowing him to take your hand and crouch down next to the bathtub. he gives your forehead a kiss and asks about your day
“took the kids to the park after dinner and let them tire themselves out. they’re all tucked in already. thought maybe you and I could order dinner and open a bottle of wine?” you hum, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek
“sounds lovely, sweetheart…” he hums, giving you a warm smile as he nuzzles into the palm of your hand. he leaves you to enjoy the rest of your relaxing bath, ordering a takeaway for you both to enjoy in the meantime
you come padding out to the kitchen around 20 minutes later, dressed up in your favourite satin pajamas and slightly damp hair. you give him a peck on the lips when he hands you another glass of wine before pouring one for himself
once the food arrives, john dishes up the plates whilst you check on your sleeping children. you both snuggle up on the sofa together, pulling up the most recent show you were watching in bed together. his arm rests around your shoulder, occasionally hugging you tighter and pressing a kiss to the side of your head
halfway through the show and you’ve turned your head to place kisses on the side of his neck, one hand stroking over his broad chest and up his shirt to feel his hairy tummy under the palm of your hand
“if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me into bed, mrs. price…” john chuckles, placing a few sweet kisses to your lips. he pulls you flush against him, calloused hands smoothing over the soft material of your pajamas as he feels you up
you giggle when he gives your ass a squeeze, cupping his cheeks as you deepen the kiss, “normally, I don’t have to try this hard, mr. price.”
“cheeky.”
540 notes · View notes
norrisleclercf1 · 3 days
Text
Gone
Pairing: Mafia!Max x Wife!Reader
Rating: PG-17
Words: 1.3K
Warnings: Kidnapping, major angst, Mad!Max etc.
Requested: Yes/No
A/N: Soooo I chanaged the request and I apologize for that as I barely changed request but I felt like the children being taken would've fit better. Hope you love it!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Standing outside the school, you hold your little bump, smiling as you wait for the twins to come running out into your arms. You still can't believe you're wearing heels, but they help you see over some of the other parents, able to see all the babies come running.
Your guards stand on either side, your outfit perfect for the weather, a little blue dress that is flexible with your growing stomach. You see your twin's teacher and wave, wondering where your 5-year-old boys are. "Oh, Mrs. Verstappen, did one of the boys leave something?" Your guard's heads move around the yard quickly, trying to find the boys. "What do you mean, leave something?" You try to clamp down the panic. Maybe they had already rushed out of the building, and you didn't see them, and they're trying to find you.
"Two of your guards came to get them; they left about two hours ago." Taking a deep breath, you feel your world shift hearing that. "No, none of my guards came to get the boys." The teacher's eyes go wide, and you let out a little chuckle. "No, no, they must still be here. FABIAN! CASPER!" Your scream breaks across the yard, parents and children all looking at you as the guards rush around looking for the twins.
"Mrs. Verstappen," The teacher tries to touch you, but you back up, putting a protective arm around your stomach. "No! WHERE ARE MY SONS!"
----------------
Max has never moved so fast in his life, breaking every traffic law, as three huge black SUVs tried to keep up with him, but there was no point. He was driving far too fast for them to keep up. Pulling up to the school, he slams the car in park as hoards of police move around. Getting out of the car, he first clocks your sobs.
"Schat!" Max screams and shoves past the police, crumpling to his knees and holding you close. "Where are my babies? Where are they!" You sob, sitting on one of the benches. Max has you close, trying to keep his anger in check, needing to be there for you.
"Baby, sweet angel, you must calm down. You might hurt the baby. Take deep breaths, please, for me." Max begs, his eyes wide and wild; you nod, trying to calm down as Max's men finally arrive and rush into the school. The police know better than to get in the way.
Taking deep breaths, you shake, Max kissing your hands and all over your face. "We'll find them, I promise to you. I won't come home without our sons," he promises, kissing your wedding ring. Maxie, it's almost time for dinner. They're going to be hungry, tired, and scared." You sob again, Max growling, pulling you into his arms.
"Sir! We found something!" Max turns their head, seeing his men as people still run around and searching the area. "I'll be back, I promise. Take my wife home, now," He snaps, the men nodding as you sob harder, holding one of the twin's jackets. Max stares at the small article of clothing and feels his heart stop. His boys, his soul, and his babies have been taken, and he doesn't know by whom. Or who would be stupid enough to do it?
Throwing the school door open, he breaks the window and splits the wood as he stalks into the office. "There," They point at the computer showing the screen as the two boys walk with the two men, Max noticing the tattoos on their hands. "Goddammit! How the fuck, did you miss having two of our ENEMIES HERE!" Grabbing anything he can reach, he throws it, watching as it shatters to the floor and breathes heavily.
"Find my sons, or else people will start losing their heads. FIND ME BOYS NOW!" Max roars, the men scattering like bugs as he breathes heavily, staring at the frozen image of Fabby laughing while Casper looks scared. "Cassie, Fabby, I'm coming, I swear," Max whispers.
--------------------
"Fabby, I'm scared. said Daddy and Mommy here." Casper whimpers as Fabian moves closer to his baby brother, ensuring he is safe. "Don't worry, Daddy come." Fabian knew this wasn't right, and Casper was far more scared and gentler than him. Fabian holds his brother closer, and Casper starts to cry as they sit in the small, cramped, dark room. "Okay, Cassie, okay," Fabian whispers.
They both jump, screaming as they hear loud explosions and screams in Dutch and another random language. "Where. Are. My. Children?" Casper perks up, hearing their daddy's voice. "DADDY!"
Max rips his head to the side and feels his blood run cold, seeing they are inside a box. Running over, he trips as he rips the lead off with his bare hands, blood everywhere, as he looks down at his babies. "Cassie, Fabby," He whispers, and Fabian and Casper look up at him.
"Daddy, uppie!" Cassie whispers, holding his arms out; Max throws his gun away and grabs the boys, lifting them out and holding them close to his chest. Sliding down, he starts to cry, having been so terrified. "Daddy, I stayed strong for Cassie," Fabian whispers, his bottom lip jutting. Max sniffles, crying as he covers Fabby in kisses as Casper, sweet little Cassie, finally being safe, sleeps in his father's arms.
"You're so brave, my strong little cub." Max sobs and Fabian finally starts to cry. "Daddy, home." Max nods, standing on shaking legs, running on pure terror and adrenaline.
---------------
"Casper! Fabian!" You cry as Max enters the house holding the boys. "Mommy! Hungry!" Caspian laughs, and you sob, seeing they are okay as Max sits them down. They come running into your arms. "Are you and the baby okay?" Max whispers, sitting on the floor with you as the boys cuddle into your arms. We're okay now." Max nods and pulls you three into his arms.
You don't ask him about the tear stains, nor do you question the blood all over him either. "They're not going back to that school," Max makes a face, and you sigh as Casper and Fabby start to fight. "Yeah, it might've burned down," You can't help the wet chuckle that leaves your throat as you cuddle closer to your husband. Max sighs, "We need to go to bed," Max whispers, taking Casper, who giggles and snuggles into Max while Fabian gets sleepy in your hold. 
Nodding, you take the boys to the bathroom, running a bath as the house crawls with guards. "We're never leaving them," You whimper as you help them undress. Max nods. He'd been scared before, but this terror he felt when he got the phone call stopped his world. Max couldn't breathe; he was terrified in a way he never wanted to feel again. The boys giggle and play in the bath as you stare at his hands. "They're fine, just some cuts." He explains, and you grab his hands, kissing them gently. 
"Thank you, thank you for bringing our boys home." Max looks down and pulls you into his chest. "I'll always bring them home," Caspier yawns loudly, and you smile, both of you picking a twin up and getting them dressed in their favorite PJs. "Want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy?" Max asks; even if they said no, he wasn't going to allow it; he couldn't let them out his sight, terrified he'd wake up, and they'd still be gone. 
"Yes!" They both giggle, and Max gently tosses them onto the bed as you climb in, wearing one of his shirts, Max. He undresses and cleans himself up as he stops and stares at Fabby curled on your chest practically, sleeping, and Cassie is sitting up, trying his hardest to stay awake. "Cuddles, Daddy." Max smiles softly, climbs into the bed, and pulls Cassie, you, and Fabian close, kissing each of you. Max takes a deep breath and sighs, closing his eyes as he listens to the soft breathing of his babies. 
They were okay. 
861 notes · View notes
laneywrld · 3 days
Text
things lost and things found | Lewis Hamilton
Tumblr media
part two
word count: 10k
warnings: smut, smut, more smut, fluff.
A man not made for commitment also doesn’t know how to communicate
It's safe to say that since that night in Cannes nearly two months ago, the lines have blurred.
Every night Clem spends with Lewis ends with her falling asleep nestled in his arms.
Some nights, they don't even have sex; he just calls her up to see him. 
Their outings are no longer limited to his bedroom or whatever hotel he's shacked up in. They're often found all over tabloids and fan pages, seen out at clubs or dinners or even on simple excursions such as shopping or taking walks.
Clementine tries her hardest to remember that Lewis was noncommittal. He would never ever even think about dating her or taking her seriously. That realization and his vocally telling her to not make things weird every time he can see that he catches her off guard keeps her on track. 
Clem knew what she signed up for; quite literally, the NDA she signed entailed every component of their relationship.
Besides the weird butterflies she got around Lewis, life was only getting better and better.  
Being around someone who understands her fully and allows her to completely unravel herself to them has really been good for Clem socially and career-wise.
She was less awakward around people, less reserved and she felt like hey, this man has accepted me for my every little flaw, why wouldn't other people. 
She was moving up in the world, and people loved her for who she was, and for the first time ever, she did too.
She's won an emmy for her netflix show, her movie was breaking records, and she was finally stepping out of her box and showcasing other skills she had.
Along with this new burst of confidence came new relationships. 
She's been trying to go out on dates to see if now was finally the time for her to try to settle down and find something serious.
That what she was doing currently, at dinner sitting across from some NBA players as he rambles on and on about different shots he couldve taken during the game, that he most definitely lost.
Clem hums, eyes feigning interest as he describes how he actually wasn't open when he tried to go for a three-pointer. Shocker, he missed.
When he excuses himself to run to the bathroom, she whips out her phone, seeing that Lewis texted her. 
Lewis 🏁
How's your date?
She shakes her head, typing out her response.
dense. how's silverstone? 
Lewis 🏁
Nerve-wracking, my car is still shit.
i'm sorry 😞  
Lewis 🏁
I'm going to need you tonight.
Lewis, i'm on a date.
Clem scoffs, but the smile on her face as she presses send is misleading.
Lewis 🏁
Is he getting lucky tonight?
NO!
Lewis 🏁
So why can't I?
Clem feels the familiar tingle in her core and places her phone face down on the table just as her date takes his seat in front of her again. 
She can't help the incredulous eyebrow raise she gives him as she sees a powdery substance painting his nostril.
"Yeah, it was nice meeting you, love." She smiles politely as she stands and motions for him to wipe his nose. He lifts his camera just as Clem drops enough money to cover her bill and tip the waitress generously. 
She hops into the black SUV, thanking her driver for helping her into the back. She unlocks her phone and sees another message from Lewis.
Lewis 🏁
My jet will be waiting for you.
That is precisely how Clementine ended up in Lewis' hotel room, waiting for him on the bed as he took a quick shower. 
When he emerges from the bathroom she can only offer him an uplifting smile, he looks so tired and so stressed. 
It helps, it always does which is why Lewis wanted her here in the first place. She was like sunrise after the darkest of nights.
"Hi," she coos, opening her arms for the muscly man.
He falls into her arms, his torso bare and his bottom half swaddled in a towel. He lays his head in her lap as she sits against the headboard. He looks up at her face as she stares down at his, and she physically pouts as she brings her fingers up to massage the stress lines from his face.
"That bad?" she whispers as his eyes flutter closed. Lewis sighs, grumbling out a faint "Yeah."
"You don't have to go through it much longer, at least." She tries and she knows it does nothing to take the heavy weight of mercedes off of his shoulders.
"You feel like you're carrying the weight of the world." She hums, her hands traveling down to rub the tension out of his neck. Her fist rubs up and down from the sides of his neck to the crook of his shoulders.
Lewis lets out a relaxed sigh, letting her work on him. 
She doesn't know how long she sits there with him snuggled into her lap as she kneads the tension from his body. 
After a while, she connects to his speaker and plays music. She has Lewis turn over onto his stomach as she slips from underneath him.
She hums as she sits on his bottom and begins massaging his back. "Your back is bruised."
"I was bouncing around like crazy in that fucking car." He curses.
Clementine bends down, pressing kisses around his back on the purple and red marks adorning his skin. 
Lewis closes his eyes, relishing in the comfort she gives him.
Lewis has noticed it, too, the turn their dynamic has taken. He is aware that he has given slight leeway to the emotional part of their relationship. 
He finds himself thinking about Clem plenty throughout the days. Buys things he thinks she'll like. He's grown accustomed to placing delicate pecks on her lips and face randomly throughout their time together; he can't help it.
Something about her has him wanting her all of the time, not even in th physical way. He just wants her to be with him.
"Can you come out to the race tomorrow?" He rasps.
She sits up, her legs still encaging his body. "Hmm, I don't think your publicity team will like that, people are already speculating about us."
"I don't care." Lewis argues, "It's about time you come to a race, wanna see you immediately not wait to get to the hotel and then see you."
His words make her heart thump harsher, and suddenly, all of the warnings from her publicist dissipate.
"Okay." 
Lewis didn't initiate sex between them that night. He simply turns over with her still on top of him and places his hands on her thighs.
"Come here," he whispers, reaching up to tug her head down to his face.
Their lips lock and it's not rushed or leading to anything. It's like how he kissed her in France. It's just sweet?
She can feel his heart against her chest as she is pressed against him, beating rampantly. "Thank you for showing up for me." He mutters against her lips. She grins against him as she remembers the words she scribbled onto the note she'd given him with her gift.
"Always." she breathes, diving back in to kiss him. One hand travels to her waist, and the other has a soft grip on the back of her neck. 
She feels his member poke against her thigh, and she sits up as much as she can with his hand on her neck, ready to free him from the towel, but the hand he had on her waist stops her actions with a grip on her wrist.
"I just want to lay with you tonight, if that's okay?"
Just when she thought she was safe from her tom-foolish thoughts, she felt her suppressed feelings for Lewis take light again. Don't make it weird, she thinks to herself. "Okay." 
Lewis sits up, his hand returning to her hip; she is sat in his lap, legs folded, and his body pushes her slightly back as he tugs on the comforter. He falls back taking her with him and pulls the thick comforter over her body which lays against his chest.
"What's one thing that surprised you about me?"
Clem traces her fingers on his chest in deep thought, "that you don't do relationships."
"Why that?"
"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."
Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."
Lewis presses a kiss to her hairline, butterflies doing summersaults in his belly. 
-
They wake up the next morning in the same position, with Clem's face nestled in the crook of his neck. Lewis smiles as he reaches over to turn off his alarm.
"Gotta get up, Clem." He soothes, rubbing up and down her back. 
"Mhmm." She moans in denial, cuddling deeper into him. "No."
"Come on, beautiful."
He sits up, forcing her up with him.
She flutters her eyes open and wraps her arms around his neck. 
He chuckles at her defiance, throwing his legs over the side of the bed and standing. He taps her thigh and she gets the message, wrapping them around his waist.
He walks her into the bathroom and sits her down on the bathroom counter. "Sit here, be careful." He orders, unraveling her from his body. He almost gives up and tucks her back into bed as she whines at him.
He leaves the bathroom and returns with a small bag of hers. She slumps against the mirror as she hears him rustling about. When she hears the faucet turn on and then feels his big hands massage circles into her cheeks, she opens her eyes.
There, she sees Lewis standing there with a cheeky smile, his hands lathered in her face soap as he massages the suds onto her face.
"Going to have to get my girl ready myself, huh?" He questions.
She only smirks at him and closes her eyes, letting him work through her skincare routine step by step, laughing as he inquires about every product.
When he finishes, he washes his own face and then passes her toothbrush to her. He stands between her legs as they both brush their teeth. Both of them stare at each other with googly eyes, laughing as foam bubbles from their mouths. When she leans over to spit into the sink, he follows shortly after and then pours a capful of mouthwash for her and them himself. And again, they stare into each other's eyes, giggly and gleaming, as they swish the liquid between their puffy cheeks.
This is where Clementine struggled with the status of their agreement. These weren't the actions of a man who didn't intend to be in a relationship. But she had heard of Lewis and his many flings and "friends" and she knew that he was a very affectionate person so once again she willed away the thought that there was any chnace of Lewis ever straying away from his bachelor lifestyle. 
She pats his shoulder beckoning him to step away, when he does she hops down and releases the last of the contents from her mouth into the sink and stepping aside so Lewis can do the same. 
"I'm going to grab my clothes." She informs.
As she lays her outfit options across the bed, she hears a vibration beneath her shirt, and she leans over the bed, patting until she finds the culprit. When she feels the device, she pulls it from underneath and sees that it's not her phone but Lewis'.
The screen lights up with notifications. 
One catches her eye from, Natalie.
Lewis did feel comfortable enough to disclose his other flings to her, and she nearly shit herself when he associated them all with cities. She remembers the way he laughed when she asked if she needed to get tested. Then she asked if he had referred to her as Clementine, NYC.
Natalie, Silverstone. She recalls.
It wasn't like she was intentionally snooping, but as the screen lit up in her hand again, she couldn't help but read the message as it appeared.
Still on for tomorrow?
At first, she feels a pang in her chest, but then she remembers her place, and she gently sits his phone on the nightstand, allowing the screen to turn off.
"Hey, you okay?" Lewis questioned, poking his head from the bathroom, realizing that she had stopped responding to him. 
She is stood facing the bed with her hands on her hips, scanning her oufits. "Yeah," she smiles though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. 
He eyes her quizically, but when she chuckles at his facial expression, pulls her outfit from the bed, and saunters into the bathroom with him, he relaxes.
Clem is in her head, and she hopes it's not obvious to Lewis.
But she can't help but wonder why he would fly her out just to make plans to sleep with another woman in the span of two days.
She's hurt, and she's jealous, and she knows she shouldn't be, but a part of her wants to slap the shit out of him. 
Instead, she refrains and plays into whatever sick bullshit he was playing with her heart unintentionally.
-
She arrives to the paddock with Lewis and she tries not to grimace as he tells a journalist that he brings friends with him to races all of the time, as they pass by.
He opens the door to the Mercedes motorhome like the proper gentleman he is and directs her into his room.
"I'm just going to change into my suit, and then we can head to the garage, okay?"
She nods and pulls out her phone. Already, she sees that they are trending. 
Lewis steps out of the room and leaves the door open. A few minutes pass before she hears an audible gasp.
When she looks up, she sees a bright-eyed George Russell.
"Hello, Hi! I'm George, I'm a big fan." He enters the compact room, his hand outstretched before him. She stands from Lewis' bed and accepts his hand.
"Hi, George, I'm Clem."
"I know who you are. What are you doing here?" He wonders.
"I'm a friend of Lewis'. I wanted to see you guys race today."
George stutters out a wow, beginning to ramble on before he is interrupted by a throat clearing at the door. There stands Lewis, with a burning look on his face that makes George immediately drop her hand.
"Lewis." He gasps, "How do you literally know everyone, man?"
She smiles, raising her eyebrows behind Lewis as George rambles about her.
Lewis claps his hands against George's shoulder before speaking, "I love you, kid. But we've got to get going."
And then he reached his arm around George and latched onto Clem and pulled her from behind him.
George stammers out a quick bye, and Clem waves sweetly at him as Lewis pulls her from the motorhome and towards the garage.
"He's so sweet," Clem coos, and Lewis only grunts out a "yeah."
"He looks like a literal prince charming." She extends.
Lewis doesn't want to hear her call his teammate any more kinds of cute, so he opts not to respond.
When they finally reach the garage, he is sitting her down beside Toto, who introduces himself with a warm and welcoming smile.
She accepts his hand, gently shaking it, and in return, Lewis gets whisked away.
She enjoys her time in the garage, whilst Lewis talk to his strategist she is sat beside Toto and a few engineers and she feels like she is on a field trip as they explain the many different parts of their setup. Finally Lewis appears at her side again, beckoning her to follow him. She accepts his hand, lifting from her seat and walking hand in hand with him to his car.
"Wow." she gasps as she studies the racing car.
"You want to get in?" Lewis questions. She turns to him with wide eyes, and Lewis can see the excitement in her dark orbs.
"You don't like people in your car." She reminds, peering back down at it.
"I said I don't let just anyone in my car, are you just anyone?" He is staring at her so intensely it has her body on fire.
She felt shy underneath his gaze as he stepped closer to her.
She stands tall, looking up at him through her lashes. He's nearly bumping chests with her as he looms over her.
"There's an entire team in here, Lewis, and cameras." She whispers only loud enough for the two of them to hear.
He doesn't care. He leans down, his mouth near her ear, "Are you just anyone to me, Clementine?"
She swallows nervously as he takes a step back, "No."
"Then get in the fucking car."
Toto watches on from his seat in amazement as Lewis lifts her frame into the car. He then turns and looks into the camera with his eyebrows raised as to show his impressment. 
He put two and two together that she was a personal guest for Lewis. It was obvious since Mercedes had already planned for Tom Cruise and Damson Idris' arrival for the race today.
Lewis leans into the car as he motions to different parts on the inside of the automobile. 
Clem honestly couldn't give two fucks about the car, but she was relishing in how passionate Lewis looked and sounded as he spoke about every aspect of it. She hadn't moved her eyes from his face not once, and Lewis froze as he turned to face her and saw the wanting look adorning her features.
It has him hard instantly.
"Behave." He warns, turning his head to survey their surroundings.
"You're fine as fuck when you're talking cars."
Lewis chuckles, and a blush comes up to cover his cheeks. He lifts his hand, his knuckles skimming along her jaw.
"I want to kiss you, but people will see."
She drops her face against his hand, puckering her bottom lip out at him.
"Aw, too bad." She whispers seductively, and Lewis whispers out a quiet "fuck." as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. His thumb reaches up and drags it back out.
"Gotta be nice to me right now, Clem. Hmm?" He hums, not bothering to remove his thumb from her lip. He smears his finger across, watching as it pops back into place. 
"Help me out of this car." She smirks, lifting her arms, "Before you do something you'll regret, there are cameras around."
"I don't give a fuck about the cameras." He rasps and breaks out into a grin when she bursts into a fit of laughter. He smacks his teeth, standing up straight, preparing to get her out.
"You like fucking with me." He declares.
Lewis helps her from the car, his hands probably lingering on her lower back for far too long once she's back on the ground.
"Lewis." He hears, and when he turns around, he sees Tom and Damson.
He pulls Clem with him, introducing her to the pair. He instantly regrets it when he sees the way Damson eyes her down like she's a refreshing tall glass of water.
 Tom starts up a conversation with Lew about the business they need to handle for his upcoming movie, but his eyes can't leave Clem's frame, and how Damson brings her hand up to his lips. 
He feels like a suicidal maniac when he watches her laugh and smile at whatever he is saying.
He'd met him before, and trust, whatever he was saying couldn't possibly be that funny.
Lewis wants to rip Toto's head off as he directs the two of them into a set of empty seats. He was less than present during the conversation with Tom, and he hoped he hadn't noticed. His arms are folded over his chest, and his foot is tapping the ground anxiously. He tries not to make it obvious when he directs Tom to his spot and takes his in order to keep an eye on Clem.
When the time for the start of the race gets closer he is thankful to see Tom take his place beside Toto. 
He saunters over to the still chatty pair and stands in front of Clem. He waits for her to notice him, and when she doesn't, he clears his throat rather dramatically. 
She stands when she notices him, shooting Damson an apologetic smile that has him ready to drag her off. Which he does.
He pulls her to a corner of the garage and up the stairs into a random office and locks the door. 
"You okay." Clem questions, stepping towards him and placing her hands on his waist. "Lewis." she tries again when he doesn't answer.
He looks stressed and zoned out.
"I- uh yeah." he coughs and suddenly he feels better having her away from Damson. "i'm fine, pre-race jitters." He lies.
Her hands slide up his chest until they settle on the sides of his head.
She tilts his head so that he's staring into her eyes. 
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"I'm regretting this." He admits and her eyes squint, "bringing you here, I mean."
That does nothing to alleviate her hurt expression, so he continues, "My car is still shit, I don't want you to watch me lose."
She scoffs, gently slapping her hand against his shoulder before returning it to its place caressing his beard. "Would’ve watched you lose at home too, what's the difference. I'm going to support you all the same."
Lewis leans down and presses a short, soft kiss to her plump lips.
Her eyes flutter closed as he stares down at her, and finally, his hands raised to her hips, pulling her into him. "I don't think that I tell you thank you enough for all of the ways you help me, Clem."
"You don't have to," she whispers, dropping her forehead against his chest. He rests his chin on top of her head, putting his arms over her shoulders as hers wraps around his torso.
Lewis likes this. He thinks he can start every race for the rest of his career like this. When he hears a knock on the door, he groans but shoots Clem a warning look as she chuckles at him.
"Big baby." she teases, moving around him to unlock the door. He maneuvers behind her, reaching to open it, and when he does, he sees Toto there with a knowing smirk.
"Time to race, Lewis."
She allows Lewis to pull her from the office hand in hand, and she knows her publicist is probably in New York and stressed running through cigarettes. She always joked that this Lewis rendezvous would result in her smoking her stress away.
Lewis knows something is wrong with him for sure when he realizes that he doesn't care about the camera or who's watching him show Clem his affection. He knows they're going to be the main topic of every tabloid tomorrow, and he just doesn't care.
She stands in front of him beside his car as the crew bustles around them.
When it's time for Lewis to finish his preparation, he motions his head towards Clem, and suddenly, her hands are stuffed with a balaclava and a pair of gloves. 
She turns to the man who handed them to her and he offers her a small smile. 
She turns to Lewis, and he can tell she's trying to fight off the grin that desperately wants to appear.
She reaches for his right hand, tugging the glove onto his hand gently, she checks each finger and pulls to make sure the fit is snug. She repeats her actions on his left hand and then Lewis firmly places his hands on her waist. He's looking at her with those sparkly eyes and a loving smile.
She turns the balaclava in her hands, trying to figure out which way to pull it over his head. When she sees the opening, she lets out an "Aahh" that has Lewis chuckling at her.
She stands on her tiptoes, freeing his braids from the ponytail and pushing them back. She hums to herself as she pulls the balaclava over his head. 
She settles back on her feet, and she can only see his eyes, but it does something to her. 
She reaches between them pulling the upper half of his suit up his body, giggling when he grunts realizing he's got to let go of her to push his arms through the sleeves.
His hands are back on her in an instant, like by not physically touching her he'd fly away.
Clem reaches between them again; this time, her fingers latch onto the zipper, and she tugs it up from his pelvis all the way up his chest until it's set in place. 
"I don't know, Lew. I think we've at least got a podium." She whispers, accepting the helmet.
She steps back, allowing his hands to fall, and then hands him the helmet.
"I can feel it in my bones." 
"Oh," Lewis laughs, "Can feel it in your bones?" He sticks out his free hand, tickling at her.
Clementine laughs, stepping back and gripping his arm, "Stop!" 
He listens, pulling on his helmet and looking back at his car.
"Well, that's me."
Clem feels like a lovesick puppy as she watches his eyelashes flutter with every blink of his eyes.
"Podium." She reminds him, lifting her pinky.
"Podium." He declares, wrapping his own against hers. He lifts their conjoined hands and places them against his helmet where his mouth would be, and she swoons.
"Get in the car, Hamilton."
She's a giddy mess as she steps away from him and finds herself accepting a seat from one of the crew members.
She sighed while watching the screen as Lewis started in P5. He is quickly into P4. She feels her adrenaline kick in as the crew cheers excitedly watching him overtake into third. When he overtakes two other drives all in the same lap the garage erupts in shouts of excitement, just for that to be taken away just as fast when they see a car barrel through off od the track and into the fence.
Clem gasps, her hand coming up to cup her mouth.
She knew Formula One was a dangerous sport, but watching a wreck like that happen in real-time has her mind reeling on just how much danger Lewis puts himself in.
"Is he okay?" She hears as the crew all talk amongst themselves.
"George is out of the race. The other driver is okay." Toto announces, "We're restarting."
Lewis is back in the garage, and he is irritated.
Clem stays back and out of his way as she watches him angrily rant. "That is not right, Toto." He snaps, "back in fifth?"
She watches as Toto nods at him, and Lewis turns to his assistant, rolling his eyes. He looks so frustrated as he throws his hand out, "fucking fifth."
Clem knew that when she was angry that she didn't like to be bothered, so she stayed in her seat. She feels a body plop down beside her, and she turns to see Damson.
"Intense, yeah?" He questions.
"Most definitely." She sighs, "My adrenaline is off the charts right now."
"First time coming to a race?"
She nods, returning the question, "Nah, this is like the NFL to Brits."
She laughs, "Right."
The two chat whilst the rest of the garage is in shambles, and Lewis watches the two with slits in his eyes. 
He knows he shouldn't be jealous. Clem was nothing to him but a friend who he enjoys fucking. It's what he tells himself as Damson passes his phone to her. She was just his friend. He'd even encouraged her to get out there and find her person.
But that was before he realized how differently she made his heartbeat.
Lewis doesn't bother going over to her before the race restarts, he can feel her lingering eyes as he manuevers around the garage, avoiding her.
Lewis feels a bit enraged. Initially, it was just the FIA and their stupid fucking rules, then it was the car, and now it was Clementine and the stupid British actor drooling over each other in his face.
It was all piling on top of him, and he hadn't felt so unsettled ever before a race. 
He hops back into his car, not sparing Clem a glance, and rolls out into P5.
This time the only thing on his mind is how fucking mad he is. 
That anger got him P3. 
He doesn't know why he doesn't approach Clem as she waits for him patiently in her seat. He goes around and thanks the crew and the engineers and has a brief talk with Toto and Tom. And then he leaves to go to the podium, all without even glancing at her.
Clem, always aware, remains silent and tries to keep the pout from taking place on her face.
She tries not to take Lewis' actions personal, it's obvious he's wound up. She doesn't know if it's something she did or if he's still frustrated by the race restart. Logically it's the second, she's learned that not everyone's behaviors have to do with her. It's taken years of her enternalizing other people's moods to realize that 9/10 people are just feeling things. She hasn't done anything, she's sure of it.
She is directed into the motorhome whilst Lewis handles other business and she sits in his room on his bed waiting patiently.
When Lewis had brought up the idea of bringing her to the race yesterday, he raved on and on about how she'd be able to walk the track, wait with his team whilst he's on the podium (if he got one), and get the classic guest experience. She hadn't gotten that, which was a letdown since she really wanted to experience Lewis' world, but she understood why that wasn't possible today after seeing Lewis' mood.
But still, it would have been nice not to sit in his motorhome and then the garage all day, just to end up back in his motorhome alone for hours. 
When Lewis emerges into the tiny room he is clean and dressed in comfortable clothes. He had been on the phone in the office preparing a few arrangements for the past hour. He sighs as he sees her frame sprawled across the tiny bed. 
There are soft puffs of air escaping her, and her phone is clutched loosely in her hand.
He can tell she fell asleep scrolling through her phone.
He sits on the foot of the bed at her feet and drops his head into his hands.
He doesn't know what he's doing. But he does know he can't keep going on like this. Lewis didn't like relationships, he didn't like being tied down, it wasn't fair of him to only want Clem to himself when she would never get all of him. 
"C'mon Clem, let's get you back."
Like the sleepy girl she is, she whines as Lewis pulls her body from the bed, placing her on her feet. 
"Can you walk?" 
She only nods, reaching over to grab her bag and her phone. She doesn't speak to Lewis quite yet, still unsure of his mood. She lets him direct her from the motorhome, his hand tight in hers as he leads her through the paddock. It is so late at night that there are rarely any people hanging around. When they exit and get to his car, the flashes from the cameras wake her up even more, and she uses the back of her hand to block the lights. 
Lewis walks her to the passenger side, waiting for her to slip in before he closes the door gently and goes around to his seat.
He pulls out cautiously and begins their trek to the hotel.
Clem forces herself to stay awake, knowing that it's only a short drive.
Still, she is waiting for Lewis to speak, but he doesn't. 
"I had fun," she announces.
"I'm glad."
"You got podium." She cheers lowly.
Lewis only offers her a small smile, and uncertainty settles in her gut. Something's not right.
She gives up trying to talk to him after that. 
The car is filled with tension and awkward silence. It's so unlike them.
When they pull into the hotel, Clem doesn't wait for the valet to open her door. She clambers out and thanks god as the night breeze fills her lungs. She's never felt so suffocated around Lewis.
As Lewis exchanges formalities with the man she rushes into the hotel and onto the elevator, when she reaches the room she unlocks it with the secondary key taking a moment to gulp down a glass of water.
Lewis follows in behind her shortly after, paying her no mind as he goes to the bathroom and emerges with his shirt and jewelry off.
"You got an attitude?" Lewis questions, standing in the doorframe.
"No, I don't." 
"I know you, Clementine." Lewis rasps, coming to stand over her as she sits on the bed.
"You're the one with the nasty ass attitude." She huffs, reaching up to nudge him away from her. He doesn't budge.
"Lose the attitude, Clem." He orders, and she rolls her eyes. 
"Or what, Lewis?" She pushes.
Lewis' hand is at her neck in a second. His grip is not tight at all, just holding her in place as he ravishes her mouth. Just as frustrated as he is, she returns the kiss.
"Got something for that attitude," Lewis grunts, pushing her onto her back.
She gasps as he roughly pulls at her pants.
He has them off before she knows it, and his hand lets go of her neck and travels down to pull at her panties. He rips them off of her with a hunger in his eyes like no other. 
"Gotta fuck it out of you, Clem?" He asks. 
He doesn't give her time to answer as he sinks down to his knees at the end of the bed and pulls her down with him. He lifts her legs over him and wraps his arms around her thighs. His hands settle on her thighs, keeping them apart, and he stares up at her one last time before connecting his mouth to her clit.
She jumps, but his hands hold her in place.
He removes his lips from her bundle of nerves, his tongue traveling down to swipe through her crease. She moans lightly as she fists at the sheets. His fingers travel up to replace his mouth, and he digs them deep into her core, his tongue flicking against her clit before he presses it flat and moves up and down.
Clem gasps as he curls his fingers inside her and suckles extra hard on her. Her hand shoots down to push him away, but he catches her wrist in his free hand, holding it against the mattress. 
He stares up at Clem, the whole scene naughty and erotic. He lets her other hand come down to rest in his hair. 
Lewis moans into her, his mouth sending a wave of vibrations through her body. Lewis never took his eyes off of her, watching as she writhed above him. He was showing her no mercy as the gushy sounds filled the room. 
She tasted so good.
Lewis worked his tongue around her clit, teasing her only for a minute before he smushed his mouth over it again and suckled just the right amount, his fingers still thrust in and out of her, driving her absolutely insane. He moans into her pussy and trails his mouth down to swallow where she is oozing. 
Lewis lets her captivating moans egg him on as he devours her like a starved man. He can feel it when she comes when her tight, spongy pussy constricts around his fingers. He happily licks up the juices she releases as she comes undone. 
He pulls his fingers from her core and stands, quickly turning her body over. She lands on her stomach with a slight "oomph" noise and turns to look back at Lewis.
He wastes no time hammering into her from behind. He grabs her arms pulling them behind her back and crossing her wrists; with one hand, he holds them against her back, and with the other, he swats at her ass. Groaning as he watches it ripple.
"Fuck."
Clem can do nothing but pant underneath him and let out pathetic mewls as his hand repeatedly strikes her ass. It hurts so good.
Lewis keeps pounding into her hard, his heart racing as he chases his own orgasm. He sees her phone light up beside him, and a message from Damson appears. 
When he sees this, he speeds up his thrusts, gliding his thick member in and out of her suffocating walls. 
She can only blubber out useless moans as he plummets in and out of her.
He lets go of her wrist, pulling her up onto all fours. 
"You get a thrill out of pissing me off?" He grunts, his hand going up to grip her hair.
"No!" she whines, gripping the covers.
"I think you do." 
His other hand is gripping her waist, pulling her back to him every time she falls forward.
"Nuh-unh." He orders from behind her, letting go of her hair and holding on to her waist tightly with both hands now.
"Don't run from it, baby. You wanted this, huh? This what you want?"
Clem rasps out a choked yes, her head falling at the intense pleasure running through her veins.
Lewis sounds like a beast behind her, all strangled up and growling out praises at her. 
He feels so possessive as his hand lifts and smacks at her ass again. "Fucking, mine." He growls, and Clem falls forward. He doesn't stop as her legs give in, and she drops to the bed again. He climbs behind her, still keeping his pace, and throws his head back as she quivers around him like a candle on fire. 
He can feel the heat building in his core, and it eggs him on as he places his hands on her ass, holding her in place.
Clementine spasms beneath him, never experiencing an orgasm like this before. Her heart feels like it's beating outside of her chest as her ears ring and her eyes roll to the back of her head. She can only curse over and over as she feels Lewis drag out of her and return again with much more force. 
This was the best sex she'd ever gotten in her life.
Her walls clenched around him, her breath hitching as he moved aimlessly in and out of her.
Lewis shuddered at the feeling, sucking in a sharp breath at the sensation. She is face down, panting into the mattress as he pants above her.
She can't count how many times she has come undone underneath him, but as she feels another orgasm approaching, she can't help the way her thighs tremble underneath Lewis. 
Lewis is an incoherent, mumbling and moaning mess above her as he allows himself to succumb to her squeezing cunt, clamping over him. Lewis falls into the abyss, pleasure washing over both of them as he spills into her.
He pulls out with a hiss, shuddering at his sensitivity, and falls over beside Clementine, who rolls onto her back.
"Woah." she pants.
Lewis feels her phone vibrate and he watches as she scambled down the bed to get it, he feels green as he watches her smile at the screen.
Just as she moves to lie beside him again, he speaks up with words that make her feel dismayed.
"I booked you a room."
He turns away from her, staring at the ceiling.
"I- What?" She stutters, turning to face him.  
"It's just a floor below, suite 909."
Clem is distraught, and it shows on her face as she jumps away from the bed as if Lewis has burned her. "Lewis, what-"
Her words are cut off as her phone vibrates in her hand. Lewis chuckles dryly, finally tilting his head to face her. Suddenly Clem feels like a little girl again, wondering why her parents never made an effort in her life, wondering why it was so easy for them to push her aside like they didn't care that she existed.
"What's the matter? Are we okay?" She rambles.
Stop talking, Lewis. He thinks to himself as he watches Clem's eyes flash with wetness. Even sad, she has doe eyes, still shining, but this time, there are tears in her eyes and an intense sadness. 
"Yeah," he should’ve stopped there, but he kept going. "I'll probably see you tomorrow. If not, it'll be the next time I need you." He motions to the bed.
Clem frowns, letting out an exhale as she bends down to tug on her pants. As she maneuvers around the room collecting her suitcase, Lewis calls out to her. "I put the room key beside your toiletry bag."
She slips into the bathroom, picking up her small bag, and sure enough, the keycard is there. She grasps it in her hand and walks out. She wants to scream at him, tell him how big of a dick he's being, but she's not that kind of person.
She is graceful. But it's taking everything in her to channel the lessons her grandpa has taught her when she is this mad, this hurt. 
Clem avoids looking at Lewis as she latches onto her suitcase. 
 "Maybe you should start considering finding someone who's serious, Clementine."
Is this what this is about? She knew the blurred lines would come back to bite her in the ass eventually.
She freezes, her back turned to him as her hand pauses on the door handle. And her body shakes slightly as a her frown deepens, she feels a stream of tears flow down her cheeks.
And just when Lewis thinks that Clem is going to turn around and argue with him, probably throw something at him and shout at him, she doesn't.
She lifts one hand, swiping at her face, and then softly opens the door and leaves without so much as looking back at him. The door clicks shut behind her, and she walks on down the hallway towards the elevator. 
The words don't react, echoing over and over in her head, but as she hears the wheel rolling on her suitcase, she can't help but feel the trembling in her body. She presses her lips together, stepping onto the elevator, and as the doors close, she lets out a gutwrenching sob. 
She sniffles as she steps into the suite. Rushing to the bathroom to shed her clothes, she showers wiping all traces of Lewis Hamilton from her body the way she wishes she can erase him from her mind. She scrubs harshly, eyes still full with tears, between the scorchingly hot water, steam and the tears she can barely see anything as she scrubs severely.
For the first time since agreeing to this arrangement, she feels used by Lewis. She's never felt so dirty in her life. As she sank down to her knees, feeling the wails rip through her body with force, she realized why exactly his words and actions hurt her so much. 
It didn't matter how much she showed up for him or how much she allows herself to be his shrink and him hers, it'd always be a bad religion, loving someone who'd never love you back.
Lewis is in the same position he has been in since she left, flat on his back with his hands covering his face. His body is quivering as sobs rack through his body.
It was a tough decision, but it was one that had to be made. He could never give Clem what she deserved; he wasn't a committed person. Seven years on and off with the same person is proof of that. He could never be okay with putting her through that.
-
Lewis wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and lingering loneliness. 
He always felt like this when he woke up without Clem in his arms. As he sits up and swipes his hands over his face, his heart aches when he notices her ripped panties thrown on the floor.
He regrets his actions. 
He wishes he would've sat her down nicely and explained how things were getting too deep for him. It's Clem, she would've understood. 
He realizes just how bad he fucked up when her giddiness to lay beside him last night flickers through his mind like a clip from a movie.
"What if we lay in bed after every meetup and we just talk?"
He feels like he's been shot when her hurt face replays over and over. He treated her like shit last night, all because he was scared of what she made him feel. 
He was a mess during yesterday's race; all he could think about down every straight and around every curve was how much he liked Clem, how good she made him feel, and bad she could make him feel just as easily.
He realized that the woman had too much control over his heart yesterday, and he couldn't take that. This was supposed to be fun, casual fun. He never inteded to catch feeling for Clementine Russell, but she was the kind of girl who made you drop to her feet.
He never stood a chance against her charm.
He scrambled from the king-sized bed, rushing to his phone.
-
When he hears a knock on his door, he opens it in a rush; he sees the butler there and offers him a finger to signal to hold on. He rushes to his table, picking up the bouquet of flowers, an array of red, yellow, and orange orchids, dahlias, and marigolds. 
"Can you take these down to suite 909?" Lewis pants pushing the boquet towards the man, there is a note nestled between the pedals.
The man tilts his head, pushing the flowers back towards Lewis.
"I am sorry, Sir Hamilton, Ms Russell has checked out already in the early hours of Midnight."
Lewis feels his heart crumble as he steps away from the man, the giant bouquet firm in his hold.
Lewis says nothing as he closes the door and walks away. 
-
Clem had left that night, not long after leaving Lewis' room. After her shower, she was on the first flight home, and she hadn't spoken to Lewis since. 
Lewis misses Clementine. It's a realization that he came to rather quickly but refused to admit.
Lewis pulls himself out of the leggy woman he picked up at the end of his race. She drops down beside him in heavy pants. 
"That was fun." She exhales.
He doesn't know why when he turns his head, he expects to see Clem staring back at him with her dark eyes and cute smile. 
This woman is no Clementine, and that's for sure. 
He doesn't know why he tries it, but he does. "You can go anywhere in the world under one condition. You'd have to stay there forever; everything is unchanged, and nothing new will ever come. Where do you choose?"
He watches as her eyes scrunch momentarily in confusion.
"I don't know. It's probably Paris. I'm obsessed with their lifestyle, honestly."
Lewis turns his head back to the ceiling.
He wants her to leave. And he wants Clementine to be in her place.
It's quiet and awkward, and she doesn't even try to ask him. 
He already knows his answer. He'd be with Clem in his bed, hands connected as they lie naked underneath his covers, heads turned to each other as they talk. He'd watch on as the moonlight supersedes the darkness and the moonbeams are replaced with sun rays. And he'd listen to her feel things like she made him. And he'd be happy and content with spending eternity like that.
Everything unchanged, nothing new.
Lewis begins to think that maybe casual sex isn't for him anymore. Perhaps he's taking Clem's absence extra hard because he yearned for the other form of intimacy, the emotional aspect of being with a woman.
So he tries dating. 
And he comes to the same conclusion, date after date.
Their eyes don't gleam like hers.
They don't understand his humor.
They don't care about why losing his favorite toy as a kid was an integral part of the man he became.
They can't carry on discussions like Clem or even talk like Clem.
They don't have her precious smile and her deep dimples. They're not gracious and benevolent.
They aren't Clem, no one ever will be.
Lewis craves Clem; he misses her with every fiber of his being.
And he regrets letting her up from his bed. He regrets telling her to pursue another man. 
When Lewis returns to New York, his thumb lingers over the send button.
clemmy 🪂
I need to see you, where are you?
He doesn't send the message; he drops his phone with a sigh, knuckling at his eyes. Why was it so fucking hard? He'd never felt this troubled in his life, especially over a woman he'd never even dated.
He sighs in distress, picks up his phone, stares at the message begging to be sent, and clicks off of the app. Instead, he opens his Instagram. As he goes to search for Clem's name, he sees that she is still his top search, and he feels like a loser as he enters her profile.
He'd take any sight of her he could get.
-
Clementine wouldn't say she was necessarily religious. Her grandpa would probably drop dead of a heart attack if he heard that. But it was the truth. She thought it was fairytale-like sometimes. Yes, she had faith, but she wasn't as devout as many people. 
If she was being honest, she thought religion began as something beautiful, putting your complete trust and faith into another person, with the idea that they were quite literally the holy grail. Over time, it's been skewed and manipulated, some for great purposes and others for very wrong reasons. 
She thought most religious people were hypocrites. Lewis was a hypocrite for sure, giving her an inch and then taking a mile. Now that she has had time to ponder over it, Lewis Hamilton is actually a sick man. Pouring affection into her and poisoning her heart. 
How did he expect her not to fall for him when he treated her the way he did? She feels like a fool herself, too, thinking back to the conversation she had with him the night before it all went to shit. 
"You're a lover boy at heart." Clem chortled, "Literally just a sweetheart. Most men who can't see themselves being with someone don't act as affectionate with women."
Lewis lets out a hmm sound, his hand still gliding up and down her back beneath his t-shirt that she wore.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Good, there's nothing wrong with being a sweetheart; bad if someone gets the wrong idea; I have a feeling you're an easy man to fall in love with."
Lewis was a hypocrite, and she was too. 
But the truth is religion gave people purpose. She'd never felt it firmly in a spiritual sense, but she had experienced that strong urge to follow someone's every command. She's believed every word that tumbles from his mouth. Given the opportunity, she would surely drop to her knees at his feet. She's only ever felt the need to praise and put her limited faith and her secured trust into one person. Sure, she had faith, just in a bad religion. She admired one man, Lewis Hamilton, but there was one problem, she could never make him love her the way she loved him.
Clem took his advice. She branched off, presented herself in new ways, made new friends, developed herself, and found someone who would take her seriously, though that didn't last long at all. 
clementine
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by feliciathegoat, pharrell, and 12,898,465 others
clementine so, they've helped me make an album? Clementine, NYC out now on all streaming platforms !! 
view all comments
feliciathegoat Cool kids doing cool shit 🏌🏿
clementine the coolest 😎
lilyachty ALBUM OF THE FUCKING YEAR
clementine 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️
user no bc who did my girl like that
clementine no really, it's okay though builds character 😃
user builds character my ass, go beat his ass
user A MOVIE AND MUSIC IN THE SAME YEAR ASVJHKHK WHEN DO WE GET SEASON 2???
clementine yk im filming girl 🙄
clementine
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by danielricciardo, justinbieber, and 10,898,465 others
clementine two post in one day bc why not, what's everyone's favorite song from Clementine, NYC?!?
danielricciardo In your hands slaps
clementine you sir, have great taste 😘
user daniel what are you doing here 😭
user No really, weird ass crossover episode
user the blue hair to match the album cover the movie * chefs kiss*, your creativity is unmatched queen
clementine you noticing the small details >>>
justinbieber posting us arguing over the order is killing me
clementine no bc we both look so over it 😂
user I love her and Tyler's friendship sm
feliciathegoat i love my bestie
clementine and I love u T 🥹
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-
Lewis instantly throws in his airpods and starts the album, one by one he listens to each song. Sure enough every song has small anecdotes about their time together that only he'd know.
He was aware that he was blurring the lines between just benefits and true feelings, but he didn't know that he wasn't the only one feeling strongly about it. He never took her feelings into account.
Just when he thought he couldn't feel any worse about the situation, that realization dawned on him. Clementine Russell loved him and he threw her to the curb like a bag of trash. 
He's throwing on whatever clothes he sees first as he rushes from his door. 
He doesn't bother calling his driver as he treks block after block; he has one destination in mind, Clem's townhome. 
He's there before he knows it, his fist urgently banging against her door. 
He sees a light flicker on through the window, and then her door swings open.
She's in her nightshirt with her hair wrapped in a scarf, and her eyes are puffy from sleep. When she sees Lewis, she begins to swing the door back closed, but his hand pushes against it.
"No, Lewis." She snarls, swinging the door open again. She is looking at him like he's the devil himself. "I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you, I don't even want to think of you."
"Clem, please." He begs, "Please, I can't take it."
She pauses at the door, taking her time to study the man in front of her. He looks bad, simply put.
His eyes are bloodshot and droopy with bags, his braids are disheveled and clearly in need of a touch-up, and he just looks all around miserable.
She almost gives in until she thinks back to the last eight months where she had been miserable herself. She smacks her teeth swinging the door closed until she hears Lewis shout out three words that take her back to when the roads got foggy, Cannes. When she realized the difference in how she actually felt for Lewis.
"I love you."
She peels the door back open and stares at him intensely. "What did you say?"
He looks like he's watched his whole world get taken away from him as he repeats himself, "I love you. Don't shut the door, please."
"It's not fair, Lewis." She fumes.
"I know." He whispers, and his voice cracks.
"You don't get to do this to me." Clem snapped. "You can't just make me feel things for you and then push me away. You can't make me love you and then hurt me and tell me you love me when it's too late."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry, isn't enough." She hissed angrily, approaching him and poking his chest. 
He reaches up and grabs her hand, holding it close to his chest. She feels him shudder underneath her touch, and his body begins to shake.
"Clem, I'm sorry." his voice is hoarse and thick as he peers down at her, and she cracks when she feels a teardrop against their connected hands. "I'm sorry."
Her forehead drops against his chest, and he wraps his arms around her. "You didn't deserve that; I should have just told you; I was scared; you broke all of my walls, Clem; I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to hurt you in the end."
"But you did, " she cries.
"I know, I did; I was scared of commitment, was scared I would ruin us further down the line." He presses a kiss to the top of her head, "I'm not scared of commitment, Clem, not anymore. I just don't want to be committed if it's not to you."
"You don't mean that." Clem breathes. 
"I promise I do, Clem."
She steps back from him, letting his arms fall to his side. "You made me feel dirty."
He opens his mouth, and she puts up her hand, "Let me talk. I let you disrespect me, Lewis. I should be done with you. I should be over you. I don't care how much I feel for you; if you ever, and I mean ever, speak to me that way or treat me like I'm nothing ever again, all gracefulness is out of the fucking window."
"I understand." He breathes, "I will never, Clem, and I mean never treat you like that again."
It's ironic, the two of them standing infront of each other as the sky illuminates in yellow and orange hues. 
"It's six in the morning." Clem sighs.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you."
"I wasn't supposed to be here today; you almost missed me," Clem informs.
"I would've found you. Lost you once already. I didn't know how much I cherished what we had until I no longer had it. Until I lost it. I don't want to lose you forever, too."
"It's almost spring," Clem announces. 
"Gonna take you to that mountain, Clem." He promises, pulling her into his arms again.
"I've missed you so much. There were so many things I wanted to talk to you about. I missed talking to you." She admits and Lewis holds her tighter.
"I missed listening to you. Swear I did." 
"Are we still friends?"
"No, we're more than that. We should’ve never been friends. Always meant to be more." 
"I wrote an album about you." She sighs.
She feels Lewis hum against her. "It's beautiful."
"I talked so much shit about you, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry for feeling Clem, I was a shit person to you." 
"My hair is blue." She announces, and he chuckles; there she was, his Clem talking his head off.
"Starting over, right?"
"Yeah, starting over."
Although they weren't laying in bed on their backs hands connected and staring through the ceiling like it was their sky. Things felt familiar to the two as the sun rose and light beamed around them.
Lewis was her sunset, the beauty that comes after a hard and blaring day. To him, she was the sunrise. After the darkness, it will always be light again. She was his light source, and he knew that now. He could never lose something that's always shining. 
"Thank you for showing up for me."
Tumblr media
Not proofread
the album:
bad religion - frank ocean
in your hands - halle
i think- tyler, the creator
saturn- sza
broken is the man- jorja smith
everything is gonna be alright- infinity song
everything- kehlani
mine- beyonce ft drake
poison- beyonce
are we still friends- tyler, the creator
eternal sunshine- jhene aiko
<3
232 notes · View notes
wonbin-truther · 24 hours
Text
Tumblr media
casual jaemin x afab! reader - 6.6k words warnings- smut, jaemin can't commit for shit, some jeno x reader, jaemin calls the reader a slut, drinking and smoking, oral (m and f), fingering, pet names (princess, pretty girl, babe), overstimulation, unprotected sex
"not that loser again," chaewon groans as she watches you check your pinging phone for the millionth time. you rolled your eyes at her as karina scoffed, "girl, he's for the streets. please just block him and move on. you're hot. you can pull someone new easily." you gave them a sad smile as you packed up your things, "i have to go." you sped walked into the parking lot where jaemin was leaning against his car. when he spotted your figure he got into his car and started up the engine. you opened the passenger seat and threw your bag into the backseat. "hey jaem," you settled into the passenger seat of the car. you were quick to notice the bright pink acrylic nail on the door. you sank down into the seat as he gave you a kiss on the cheek and sped off towards his house.
Tumblr media
"isn't that the girl you always fuck on the dorm couch?" jeno asked jaemin. he turned around and followed his gaze to your figure across the room. you were pressed up against the wall with a man in front of you. he recognized the 'fuck me' eyes you were giving the man as he was all too close to your lips. jeno patted his arm, "man, if you're jealous maybe you need to ask her out. "no, it's just casual."
casual is the word that rung in your ears since the day you met jaemin at a party for his frat. he had just fucked you dumb as the party echoed downstairs. your legs were shaky as you tried to get yourself decent, but as you looked over at him, you saw him throwing his shirt on casually. his eyes locked on yours before he left the room, "no attachments. remember, this is just casual."
obviously, the two of you had different versions of causal. casual to you wasn't this fancy dinner with his parents. they sat across from you as you sat next to jaemin. "honey are you okay?" his mom asked. you smiled and nodded the best you could with jaemins index and middle finger dragging along your walls under the table. "i-im fine. can i just excuse myself to the bathroom?" you asked. they nodded, concern filling there eyes as you fixed your dress and quickly ran off. "son, go check on her," his dad waved off jaemin who happily stood up and left behind you. that's how you ended up bent over his sink as he moved in and out of you. your moans were muffled by his hand over your mouth as he pounded repeatedly into you. for a moment, you forgot there was nothing casual about being fucked against the bathroom counter as his parents sat out there completely unaware. the thoughts were quickly pushed out by your incoming orgasm. jaemin fucked you through your release and then came inside of you. he waited for you to fix yourself up before leaving the bathroom. you stared at the makeup running down your face and the strands of your hair that stood up. "it's just casual." you reminded yourself.
Tumblr media
you were cuddled up to jaemin's chest as he played with your hair. nothing had happened; he just called you over and pulled you into his arms. "you're pretty," he said, kissing the top of your head. you smiled and looked up at him, "so are you." "we make quite an attractive duo, don't we," he left a soft kiss on your lips. no matter how sweet the lingering taste of his chapstick was, it wouldn't overpower the bitterness you felt as he left kisses on your lips as if it were nothing. he always did it. he would kiss you with the passion of 100 men or leave sweet kisses on your lips as though he were in love with you. you hated the soft kisses more than anything. with every feather like peck, you imagined the white picket fence house and two kids but were soon pulled down to reality.
Tumblr media
you were at yet another frat party with chaewon and karina. you hated them so much, especially after meeting jaemin. the reason why stood about 6 feet in front of you with his tongue down another girl's throat. "i'm surprised you haven't gotten mono yet," chaewon handed you a red solo cup filled with some mystery liquid. "you need to move on already. he's a bum," karina groaned. "he's nice," you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes. "do not cry over that loser," chaewon grabbed you harshly by the shoulders. "what you need to do is get some non diseased dick and show him what he's missing by playing around." you nodded, downed whatever was in the drink, and made your way through the crowd, knowing exactly who your target was going to be.
naturally you had met jeno within the first couple of weeks fucking around with jaemin. you knew jeno was attracted to you but had some kind of bro code going on. you were quick to find him sitting on the couch, smoking a blunt. you sat in the empty spot next to him, making sure to get as close as possible. he adjusted so that his arm was around you, pulling you into his side. "you saw him, didn't you?" he pressed the roll to your lips and you happily took a hit. "yea. it's nothing serious between us, so it's whatever." "so that's why you came to press on me? because it's whatever," he let out a low chuckle. you put your head on his shoulder, already feeling the weed mix with the alcohol in your system. "if he can go around with other girls then I can be with other guys. it's only fair," you pressed a kiss to jeno's jawline. "careful princess," his hand moved down to grip your waist as you continued to leave open mouth kisses and marks around his neck. he swiftly pulled you into his lap, so you were straddling him. you took a quick glance up and locked eyes with jaemin who looked like he was about to kill jeno. you gave him a smirk before you got up from jeno's lap, taking him by the hand and pulling him upstairs.
jeno watched from his spot on the bed as you cried into your hands. "i just want him to want me like i want him." you were pacing back and forth around the room. "yn that's how he is. did no one warn you?" he replied. "they did and i'm a dumbass for fucking around with that loser, but..." you let out a scream that you hoped was drowned out by the music downstairs. "you're in love with him," jeno laughed. you threw yourself face down onto the bed next to him, "i hope his dick breaks." jeno let out a louder laugh. "i hope so too. being his roommate is rough. maybe if it broke, he wouldn't have a girl over every night." "you're so not helping right now." you got up and gave a light punch to his arm. "if it makes you feel better he's never been as consistent as he is with you." you rolled your eyes and said, "Yeah, that makes me feel so much better. a new girl every night makes me feel a million times better." "just tell him you like him. trust me, he doesn't even know it yet, but he likes you back," jeno stood up and stretched. "i'll tell him we fucked if it makes you feel better." you stood up and followed behind him, grabbing his hand, "yeah we can tell him that."
Tumblr media
contact with jaemin after that night had been minimal. "don't tell me you're stressing over that dumbass," karina sighed loudly. you were sitting beside her, jumping at every notification. "i'm not," you lied right through your teeth. "i saw you and jeno go upstairs at the party. why not get one over on him and start fucking his friend?" she stood up from her seat next to you. "maybe. good luck on the test," you pulled up jeno's contact and sent him a quick 'jaemin there?' text.
you paced back and forth in jeno's room. "is this going to become a reoccurring thing?" he asked. jeno was sitting at his desk shirtless for whatever reason and doing what looked like calculus homework. "no but why won't he text me?" you punched him repeatedly on the back. he spun around, grabbing your hands, "he's jealous, that's why." as jeno said that, the door swung open. "hey bro, have you seen my-" the clear voice of jaemin was cut off mid-sentence when he saw the two of you. he quickly walked out of the room as you freed yourself from jeno's grasp. "well now he really thinks we're together," jeno said. you stood there frozen for a moment before throwing yourself onto jenos bed, kicking and screaming into the sheets, "he hates me!" "he doesn't. he's just jealous. he probably hates me, though."
Tumblr media
you rummaged around in your drawer, looking for the white lacy bra you had taken a liking to. "what the fuck, where is it?" you mumbled to yourself as you took out everything from your drawer. you sat on the floor with your back against the dresser, thinking back to where it could possibly be. if you could see your complexation right now, your face would probably be drained of color. you pushed yourself off the floor and made your way to your bed. you sat on the soft white sheets as you shakily picked up your phone. you stared at jaemin's contact.
hey jaemin ik we havent talked in a while and you're probably not too happy with me but do you have that white bra i really like
as soon as you sent the text, you practically threw your phone to the other side of the room. it took 15 minutes for a notification ping to come from your phone.
i think so. come over
you couldn't fight the smile forming on your face as you got up, grabbed your bag, and rushed out of the house.
you knew the directions to jaemin's frat house better than you knew your way around your childhood home. you rang the doorbell and bounced on your heels as you waited for someone to answer the door. you were met with the face of mark lee. "dude it's been so long," he said as he pulled you in for a hug. you returned the hug with a huge smile on your face, "it really has." out of everyone in the frat, mark had always been your favorite. you two became close through your late night cravings when you stayed the night with jaemin. mark was always up late, strumming his guitar in the living room as you made ramen. you would listen to him play, eventually growing into you eating in the living room as he told you stories about Canada and explained the meanings of each song he played on his guitar. "Is that yn?" another voice piped up. you pulled away from mark to look in the direction but were engulfed in another hug. you could recognize from the grasp the man had on you that it was haechan. he was another member of the frat you had a natural gravitation to. he had been your lab partner in your first year biology class but quickly became a close friend due to the amount of time you spent around the frat. mark and haechan were also the first to warn you about jaemin. you pulled away as he asked, "why are you here?" "why do you think?" you sighed out as you walked farther into the house. mark nodded, "figured. he's in his room." "I could treat you better. you need to leave him already," haechan whined. you just laughed as you walked up the stairs to his room.
you knocked on the door and pushed it open, not waiting for a response. jaemin was sitting on his bed but stood up when you walked in and said, "it's in the top drawer." you went over and opened it. it was the first thing at the top, along with a lipgloss you knew wasn't yours. you sighed as you picked up the bra and closed the drawer. you turned around and dropped the bra, nearly jumping back at the sight of jaemin so close to you. you tried to take a step back but bumped into the dresser. he held your chin with his thumb and index finger and lifted your head up until your eyes met his. "so jeno huh?" he smirked. you wanted nothing but to kiss the smug look off of his face, but you stayed strong, just nodding. "i'm not yours, jaemin," you moved away from his grasp and tried to move aside but he trapped you with his arms. "oh yea?" "yea. i was never yours to begin with."
jaemin moved some of your hair behind your ear. "you have quite the attitude now, princess." you could feel your resolve weakening with every inch he moved closer. all you could do was stare up at him. "no words now?" his nose was practically knocking into yours. you decided to close the gap, kissing him with as much force as you could muster. your hands found their way into his hair as his found their way to your hips. he picked you up and moved you to the bed, breaking the kiss. he was quick to move on top of you and pin your hands above you so you couldn't move. you squirmed in his grasp. "such a slut. fucking my friend and now wanting me?" he tsked. his kisses trailed down your neck to your collarbone. you let out whimpers and moans as he left love bites and hickeys all over. "jaem the door," you tried your best to free yourself of his grasp but his grip only got tighter. "what? don't want jeno to see how good I can fuck you?" he let go of your wrists so he could take off your top and bra. he was quick to rid himself of his own shirt. "gonna be a good girl?" he asked, leaving a soft kiss on your lips.
the kiss left you unable to speak, only nodding and staring at him. "use your words pretty girl," he tapped your cheek lightly. "gonna be a good girl," you whimpered out. his hands had found their way into your pants and his fingers were hovering over the wet patch on your panties. "does jeno get you this worked up," jaemin's fingers moved the thin material out of the way and slipped into you. "only you," you threw your head out as he moved in and out. he could feel the way you were clenching around him as he hit the gummy spot inside you with his index and middle finger. jaemin knew your body better than you knew your own so he could tell from the way you clenched around him you were close to your orgasm. he pulled his fingers out of you and you stared at him wide-eyed. "dont you think you deserve some punishment for being a slut? fucking my best friend and then coming back here. what would jeno think, pretty girl?" he pulled off your bottoms and moved down so that he was eye to eye with your clit. "jaem please," you whined as he kissed the inside of your thighs."have patience, princess," he said as he kissed your wet clit.
he flicked the bundle of nerves with his tongue as he started to suck and lick at it. jaemin always ate you out like a starved man. at first, you had been hesitant to let him after the bad experiences you had with your ex boyfriend but jaemin was quick to reassure you. you could feel your release coming quick again and you were a little embarrassed. you realized he was under the impression jeno had fucked you but in reality you hadn't been with another person since the last time you were with jaemin, which was around a month now.  "close," you managed to get out, pulling at his hair and arching your back. "let go, princess. i got you," he pulled away for a moment to say but quickly got back to work. with those words, you allowed yourself to release all on his tongue. He continued to kiss and lick at your clit, overstimulating you. you pulled at his hair as you begged him to stop. it fell upon deaf ears as he continued to eat you out. jaemin knew if you really meant it, you would call out the safe word you two had made up around your second meeting. he continued to eat you out through your second release. he pulled away and made his way to your lips.
you pulled off his pants and boxers. "ready to repay the favor?" jaemin asked and sat on the edge of the bed. you nodded and rushed to your feet, only to drop to your knees in front of him. he tapped your lips with his cock in his hand and you happily opened up, taking his tip into your mouth. you could already taste the salty precum as you took more and more of him into your mouth. he threw his head back and let out low groans as you moved your head up and down his length. jaemin was never shy about the noises he made. it was another shock you got after being with him for the first time. he grabbed a handful of your hair and pushed your head down until you took in all of him. you gagged and dug your nails into his thighs as your throat adjusted to him. he waited a second before using the grip on you hair to move you again. you closed your eyes and focused on not gaging as he continued to use you. "eyes open, princess," he said between groans. you opened your eyes and stared up at him. the sight alone had him faltering in his grasp, allowing you to move on your own again. he came down your throat, and you pulled off him with a pop.
you climbed back onto the bed and laid down. jaemin moved on top of you and lined himself up, "ready? he never asked before he fucked you, so you hesitated a little before nodding. "we don't have to. i mean you can leave now if you want," jaemin was fumbling over his words as he rushed to get off of you. "please just fuck me already," you said, grabbing his hand. he smiled and kissed your nose, moving on top of you again and thrusting into you. he bottomed out and waited for you to adjust to him. you nodded, and he started to move. your nails dug into his back, and he lifted your legs to allow himself to move deeper into you. "jeno didn't fuck you this good huh, princess?" he said as he quickened his pace. "no one like you, jaem," you babbled out. you continued to babble his name as though it was the only word you knew. he hit your g-spot repeatedly, making you clench around him. your release hit you line a train, shaking and clenching around him. he was quickly behind you, opting to let out inside of you. he collapsed onto the empty spot next to you as both of you caught your breath. after a few minutes of silence, he broke it, "you should leave before jeno gets here."
"and I didn't even get my stupid bra I hate him," you screamed from your bed. karina sat on her bed across from you and chaewon was on the desk chair. "i cant believe you," chaewon groaned. "he's never made me leave right after sex before. what does he think i am? a piece of meat?" you cried. "yes!" the two yelled in unison. "you need to ignore him. block him on everything. he's no good for you," karina tossed her pillow at you. "i can't" you watched as the pillow dropped right in front of your bed. "give me ill do it," chaewon walked over to you and held her hand out. maybe a jaemin cleanse is what you need. you put your phone into her hand and fell back onto your bed. when she handed you the phone back, his number had been deleted, and any trace of him in your life was gone.
Tumblr media
"she blocked me," jaemin yelled out. everyone around the table looked up at him. "which one?" chenle asked. there was some snickers from the other guys. "i'm not some common whore; what do you mean, which one," jaemin glared at the younger boy. jeno started laughing, hitting the table as he nearly choked on his food. jaemin switched his glare from chenle to jeno, "anyways. yn blocked me." "it's about time," haechan clapped. "it was bound to happen," jisung patted jaemin on the back. "you're all my biggest haters. i've done nothing wrong," jaemin went to check your instagram and noticed he was also blocked there."dude i mean you have led her on for a while now. girls are always blocking you, so why does it matter," mark asked. "it's different," jaemin sighed and placed his phone down. "how is it different?" the older male asked. "it just is." "so you like her?" jisung asked from beside him. "what happened?" renjun walked into the room, sitting on the other side of jaemin. "his crush blocked him," haechan responded. "oh yn?" renjun turned to jaemin who groaned and buried his head in his hands. "well dude, you fumbled, so now you need to find a way to get her back," chenle said as he stood up, excusing himself from the room.
Tumblr media
it was hard to avoid jaemin when it seemed like he was everywhere you went. "he's doing it on purpose. just ignore him," chaewon said as she picked at her sandwich. "im trying, but it's hard when he's literally everywhere." the nerves from trying to avoid jaemin all day had severely affected your appetite. any glimpse of him had you feeling nauseous from anxiety. "think with your brain, not your pussy," karina scolded you. "what if i gave him one last chance," you whined. "be serious. he's been on his last chance for 10 chances now," karina hit you in the back of the head. "what good does he serve you anyway? and dont mention his dick," chaewon's question made you think for a moment. "see nothing," the black haired girl said. "he's nice to me," you pouted. "no he's nice to your vagina." "i need air," you said, standing up and walking out the cafeteria doors.
the school's campus had a lot of greenery. you always loved walks around the campus because of it. however you had no time to enjoy it as an all-too-familiar person walked up to you. you tried to walk faster, but he grabbed your wrist, keeping you in place. "please just talk to me," jaemin begged. you were about to give in, but decided it was finally time to stand your ground to the man, "let me go." "please. i didnt do anything wrong; please talk to me," jaemin begged. the sentence made your anger completely wash over you. "you didn't do anything wrong?" you laughed. "you never do anything wrong. leading me on for months is completely fine. so is treating me like your girlfriend and then telling me there's nothing serious between us? oh also fucking other girls but getting mad at me for even talking to another guy is completely okay too." "you had sex with jeno and i didn't say anything," jaemin tried to rebuttal, but you just scoffed at him. "i didn't. i didn't have sex with anyone. i went to that room and complained about you the whole time because i like you, jaemin. i've liked you since the moment i met you. but you're too much of an idiot to even realize what's going on in front of you. i'm done with your games, jaemin and i'm done being just another body," you turned on your heel and sped away from him. jaemin stood frozen in his place. the only thought that ran through his brain was that he fucked up big time.
you sat on your bed, crying into your hands. you sobbed from the anger you felt. his words echoed in your head. did he seriously think he did nothing wrong? did he really think screwing with your feelings was okay? you also sobbed from the sadness of it all. you missed him. you missed sitting on his bed as he helped you with chemistry homework. you missed the late night talks about the future and your lives, but the memories were overtaken by the anger of how you were just another girl to him.
Tumblr media
"why did you tell me you two had sex?" jaemin yelled at jeno who was seated on his own bed. "i didn't tell you shit. you jumped to that conclusion on your own. all i said was, i went upstairs with her," jeno watched the brown haired man pace around the room, the scene all too familiar from the last time you were over to talk to jeno. "i'm such an asshole," jaemin groaned. "glad you've realized," jeno said, standing up and patting jaemin on the back. "it's going to take a while, but she'll come around. just don't screw it up in the meantime. which means stop fucking random girls every night." jaemin nodded in response. "i have class, but i'll try to talk to her after," and with that final word, jaemin was now alone in the shared bedroom. he laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. he definitely fucked up big time.
"babe whats wrong?" karina had walked into the room and was met with your figure bundled in layers of blankets and crying. "maybe i messed up," you wiped your eyes and moved over so she could sit on the edge of the bed. "messed up what?" she pushed some of the hair from in front of your face back. "with jaemin. i think i messed up," you cried harder as you told her what happened on the walk. she let out a soft sigh and pulled you into a hug, "listen. me and chae might give you shit about him, but if you're sitting here sobbing over him, then maybe there's things we don't know. if you like him this much then go for it. we'll support you." you sobbed into her shoulder and clung to her. "wanna go get ice cream from the cafeteria?" she asked. you pulled away and nodded.
Tumblr media
it had been a week without contact with jaemin. to say it was hard on you was an understatement. you felt too embarrassed to unblock him and dm him like a normal person but every time you saw him in the cafeteria, you would feel a pull to talk to him. however whenever you started making your way over, he would walk away as if he had a fifth sense for your presence. "don't look now," chenle nudged jaemin at the table. jaemin looked up from his phone slightly and was met with you laughing with your friends at the table across from his. he didn't say anything and just looked back down at his phone. "she still has you blocked?" haechan asked. jaemin chose not to respond. the answer was already clear. haechan just groaned, "why can't you two just make up already?" I miss having her around." "no you miss someone doing the dishes," jeno sat down next to jaemin. "listen you just need to talk to her," jeno said. "i can't. she blocked my number and my instagram. how am i supposed to talk to her," jaemin put his phone down and put his head in his hands. "like a normal person. just walk up to her," mark chimed in. all jaemin could do was let out a groan and put his head down on the table.
Tumblr media
it had now been a month since you cut jaemin out of your life. after that first week of regret, you started feeling better and better. you felt less on edge as the days went on. that's probably how you ended up at a frat party with chaewon and karina, who disappeared within the first few seconds. haechan had found you a few minutes into standing against a wall and pulled you into the kitchen, where the makeshift bar was set up. it had started with haechan making you do one shot with him. then mark walked in and you did one with the three of them. by the time you knew it, you had lost count of how much was in your system. you were stumbling around until you bumped into someone's broad chest. you looked up, and your eyes started to glaze over as your gaze met jaemins. you felt a tear slip down your cheek as the shocked look on his face only grew. you tried to get an apology out and move away from him but nothing came out. you tried to move back but stumbled over your feet. a strong arm wrapped around your waist, and a soft sigh was let out, "lets get you upstairs."
you were situated on jaemin's bed as he rummaged around for spare clothes for you. he pulled out an old t-shirt and pajama pants and laid them down next to you. "i'll turn around and close my eyes," jaemin said, facing the wall and shut his eyes, as to respect your privacy. it was a little ironic seeing as how many times jaemin saw you in your natural state. there was some rustling before you spoke up in a hushed tone, "can you help, please?" the quietness of your voice was something jaemin had never heard before. if it weren't for the silence of the room and the door drowning out the party downstairs, he would have never heard you. he turned around knelt on the floor in front of you. he slipped off your shoes and placed them on the floor next to the bed. he then undid your pants and slid them off you, replacing them with the pajama pants. he stood up and smiled as you lifted your arms up for him. he was quick to replace your disregarded shirt with the new one. as he folded the clothes and set them on the dresser, you spoke up again, "please dont leave me." your voice was shaky, and it broke jaemin to a million pieces to hear you so torn down because of him. "are you sure?" he turned to face you. "i need you to stay," a tear slipped down your cheek. he moved to pull you into a tight hug as you sobbed into his chest. you had fistfuls of his shirt as he stroked your hair, "i'm not going to leave, princess. not again. i promise." he whispered to you. eventually the sobs got quieter, and your breathing evened out. he laid you down on the bed, covering you with the cover. he was about to get up and move to jeno's bed until he realized you still had a handful of his shirt. so there he lay in his jeans and t-shirt with you cuddled into his chest and his arms wrapped around you as if you would fade to dust at any moment.
you woke up with a throbbing headache, but that was the least of your worries after you tried to shift around but couldn't move. you were too scared to open your eyes but you found the courage after you realized your arm was falling asleep. the first thing you saw was a chest. you followed it up and saw jaemin's sleeping face. you tensed up for a bit and quickly scanned your body, but you found yourself completely dressed. you relaxed, trying not to wake him up as you slowly wiggled out of his arms. his grip only gor tighter as his eyes fluttered open. he had a soft, peaceful look on his face as he tried to adjust to his surroundings. once he realized what was going on, he practically jumped out of bed. "i'm so sorry. i meant to sleep in jeno's bed i forgot," the apologies stumbled out of his mouth as you sat up and let out a laugh. "it's alright. we didn't do anything, right?" "no. of course not. you were drunk," jaemin ran his hand through his hair and began to fidget with his fingers. "we need to talk," you two both said at the same time.
"you first. i probably did enough talking last night," you could feel how sore your eyes were and assumed you had been crying, which also took you to the conclusion you let something spill. "yea you did and i'm sorry for being such an asshole. if you dont want to forgive me it's okay but i'm so sorry. you're the best thing to happen to me and i don't know how i fucked it up so bad," jaemin sat on the bed in front of you. "i forgave you a long time ago," you cupped jaemins cheeks in your hands, wiping the tears he didn't even know where coming out. "i'm so serious about you this time. please just give me another chance. ill treat you how you should be treated," jaemin put his forehead against yours. "and how should i be treated?" you asked. "like a work of art," jaemin's lips were ghosting over yours. "well show me how serious you are," you closed the space between you two.
the kiss was gentle, unlike all the others you two had shared. this one was slow, and nothing felt rushed. you could taste the fading vanilla of his chapstick as his lips moved rhythmically against yours. you pulled away but moved back with your arms wrapped around his neck. you pushed him back, and his hands met your waist. he pulled away, "we don't have to." "i want to," you said, moving on top of him to straddle him. "you sure?" "i've never been more sure in my life." he locked your lips again as his hands moved underneath your shirt. you broke the kiss so he could lift it over your head. he flipped the two of you over, taking off his shirt and then fumbling with your bra. he left open mouth kisses down your neck and towards your chest. he pulled away, "you're so beautiful." you could feel your face going red. this wasn't the first time he'd called you beautiful, but somehow it felt different. "i love you," the words slipped off your tongue as if it was a natural statement. jaemin smiled and kissed your forehead, "love you too." you smiled and started to pull at the button on his jeans. he helped you take them off along with his boxers and then took off your own pants and underwear.
he pecked your lips before sliding into you. the two of you let out matching groans as you fluttered around him. although you had told everyone you moved on from jaemin in the month the two of you weren't together, you found it hard to have sex without thinking of him so the stretch felt almost unnatural. you dug your nails into his back, eliciting another loud groan from him. "you can move," you said. he nodded and started to rock back and forth. he kept a gentle rhythmic pace. it was different from all the other times when he would drill into you with no care, moving hard and unsteady, just looking to chase his own high. he kissed you again, and he moved a little faster when you started to squeeze around him. you kissed him back, moaning into the kiss. you were close and he knew that. his hand traveled downward, rubbing circles into your clit with the pad of his thumb. you were first to come, leaving a white ring around his cock. he fucked you through the orgasm, pulling out and coming on your stomach when he felt it hit him.
he stood up, throwing on sweats and walked out. you threw your head back and sighed, thinking this was the same as all the other times you had been with jaemin. you were about to get up and gather your things when jaemin walked back in with a towel. he gave you a confused look and went over onto the bed. "lay back down. i got you," he said, cleaning you off with the towel as you let your head fall back onto the pillow. "i thought you were going to leave or kick me out like you always do," you were quiet, and jaemin could sense the sadness in your voice. "i told you yn. i'm serious about you. i want this to work," he threw the towel into his laundry bin and found an oversized shirt for you. he slipped it onto you and then laid next to you. you were hesitant to move closer to him, but he pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. "i want you to trust me. i know i haven't been that trustworthy for a while but i need you to believe me." you looked up at him with a small smile on your face, "i trust you. i've trusted you for so long already." 
Tumblr media
 you sat on your bed, recounting the events to karina and chaewon. both of them were speechless by the end of it. "so what happened after?" chaewon broke the silence. "we took a nap and when we woke up we had a talk on how we wanted to take things slow," you were giggling and kicking your feet on the bed. "even if we dont like jaemin that much we support you. this is the first time i've seen you come back from a hookup with that man with the weird post sex glow," karina said, making chaewon nod. "how do i usually look," you tilted your head, staring at the two across the room.  after a moment of thinking chaewon responded, "like a bus hit you." you were about to argue with her until your phone lit up. you were quick to pick it up, seeing it was a text from jaemin. 
meet you in the park in 10?
you were quick to text back 
yea see you there
Tumblr media
the days flew by and soon enough, they became weeks. you were walking hand in hand with jaemin around the dimly lit campus. he suddenly paused, making you stop and turn towards him with confusion written all over your face. "be my girlfriend," he was practically yelling from nerves. "jaem quiet; it's nighttime," you scolded him, your voice hushed. you then processed what he had asked you, "wait what?" "be my girlfriend," he repeated. you tackled him into a hug, kissing all over his face. he caught you in his arms, stumbling back a little, "is that a yes?" you nodded and left a kiss on his lips, which he happily returned. so much for being casual.
171 notes · View notes
houseofevanbuckley · 3 days
Note
I just have this head canon that one night while he and Tommy are just sleeping, Buck has this awful nightmare where he relives Eddie getting shot. Tommy is jarred away by Buck scrambling out of bet and rushing to the bathroom to wash his face in his confusion. It's a terrifying thing but once Tommy has Buck back in bed and Buck tearfully tells him what the dream was about, he's so understanding and amazing he actually bundles Buck up and they go to their Diaz boys together, no jealous or insecurity, just the five of them being their for each other like a whole ass family
This ! All of this !
I wish my baby wasn’t hurt that way but it is part of him now. It wouldn’t be his first nightmare while he sleeps with Tommy, but it’s the first one that’s strong enough that he can’t hide it. Waking up gasping for hair, his arm scratching at his chest trying to claw at his lungs to make them work! To make them do their job. The darkness of the room closing on him while his lungs are.still.not.working!
And then light appear and Tommy’s arms get around him, pulling him agasint his chest. He put his own hand on Buck’s chest, rubbing on it while he talks in his ear. Just repeating numbers again and again, getting Buck to focus on him. “ In, 1 2,3,4… Out 5,6,7,8,9… In,12,3,4”
It takes a while but he finally can get a breath in, making the stars that were starting to appear over his vision recede.
They stay silent for a while, tremors still running over Buck’s body, being replaced by Tommy hands rubbing along his arms, his chest.
Tommy doesn’t want to push Buck so he waits for him for a minute, and then two, and three.
Until he feels water on the arm rubbing Buck’s chest.
“Baby…” he says, pain in his voice at seeing his boyfriend like that.
He pulls him more agasint his own body, his chest covering the entirety of Buck’s back like a shield, and Buck breaks.
His breath stutters but the panic doesn’t come back. He talks then. He talks about that boy they saved. About how proud and happy Eddie was when they left his house. He was right. He saved that boy. And then the bullet. The blood. The hiding under a car. The dragging. And the wait. The wait for help, the time running away as they struggled to get away. To get to the real help, to the hospital.
And more wait.
Tears are flowing freely as he talks about it. Telling Christopher. Waiting again.
And Tommy gets it. He was in the military. He gets seeing his people shot, the one that are here to support you, to help you. Brothers and sisters. His heart break for his boy. His sweet boy who just want to save the world, to protect the ones he loves and even the ones he doesn’t.
He should have never been in this situation, none of them should have.
He takes a decision then. He may not be able to bring his own ghost back, but Buck doesn’t have these. His people are here, and they’re ready to support him.
He stands up when Buck finally calm down enough that he feel he can leave him for a few second.
He goes doesnstairs to get some water and grab his phone on the counter, sending a quick text to Eddie. Not saying too much, he knows Buck would rather run away than talks about his nightmare, but he says enough.
He goes up to Buck’s room, with some room temperature water, something that wouldn’t attack his throat or his body with some temperature chock.
He has him drink two glasses before he put the bottle on the bedside table and tells him to stand up while he grabs Buck’s comfy hoodie on his dresser and a sweatpants.
“Wha-what?” bucks asks, bewildered by clothes being thrown his way.
Tommy who comes back in front of him and kiss his birthmark
“Trust me, baby”
And Buck does. He does completely.
It takes them ten minutes to get fully ready. Tommy heard his phone buzz downstairs and when they go down he sees the answer he expected.
“Come on, baby” he says grabbing his boyfriend hand and gently pulling him outside and to his care.
“Where are we going ?”
“Where you need to be”
It takes them less than 20 minutes to reach the Diaz house, at 4 am the traffic is quiet all over town and Buck has recognized the way they were taking half way through their trip
“Tommy…”
“It’s ok baby,” he says, putting his hand on Buck’s thighs the rest of the way.
When they reach the house, Eddie is waiting at the door, hair in every direction, tank top and sweatpants on.
He welcomes them with a hug each, lingering in Buck’s when he feels how Buck sags against him and Tommy just watches with a soft smile and a grateful nod when Eddie looks his way.
They make their way inside and Christopher is sitting at the table, ice cream boxes open in front of him with some bowls, a documentary is playing on low volume on the tv and the boy smile at Buck, his own hair reflecting his dad’s.
“Guys,” whispers Buck, awed that anyone would do that. That they’d wake up for him, be there for him. He turns back to Tommy who took him there, kissing him on the lips softly.
“Thank you,” he says, eyes shining.
“Come on baby,” says Tommy, guiding him to the table, “gotta be quick before Christopher steals all the chocolate mint.”
They stay there the rest for he night and well into the day. Being there for Buck this night, like they’d be there for the others on an other night. Like a family should
65 notes · View notes
dinogoofymutated · 2 days
Note
Hey!!! Thank you again for Remy's one shot, it was amazing!!
I saw that you would like ideas for Cable and Warren, and I may have a few...
Especially for Warren....
I'd love to see Warren and mutant! Reader that "hate" each other, and reader thinks she has no chance with him, so she goes on a date. Warren is jealous and watches over her, and swoops in once the date goes sideways.
Words are said, feeling we shown, and Warren giver the fairytale kiss. (Could end with them going at it on a rooftop...)
Tumblr media
Could be sfw or nsfw, either way I'll enjoy it immensely!!! I can't wait to see more of your work ❤️
Tumblr media
Sfw! Warren/Fem!reader
OMGGGG UGG I LOVE THIS SM!!! I have a slight obsession with prompts like this- soooo yeah lololol. Oh! Also, I feel like I should mention this is more based off of comic and show warren, and not the version of him from the apocalypse movie. Hope this isnt too OOC!
Tws: Bad date, Warren is kind of an asshole but we love him. Kissing in the rain.
Tumblr media
Warren Worthington is a dick. He's always teasing you, snatching your books, and pencils, and really everything you meed and holding it out of reach. He'll thwak you with a wing on purpose, always saying some stupid excuse like "Oh I didn't see you there." When you know damn well he did.
And he's not even like this to anyone else! It's incredibly frustrating, especially with how often he'll just up and completely ignore you to go flirt with Jean- who's still with Scott, might I add! Ugh!
It shouldn't matter to you whether or not he flirts with other people- the guy was clearly uninterested in you. But you just... can't help it. You really liked Warren, more so before this whole event started, when you didn't know him that well but couldn't help but blush at some of the things he did. You knew he could be kind, and he had a sweet side to him despite the cocky persona he's always pushing. (Because is it really a persona at that point?) But he just seemed so out of your league. Around the time you started pulling away from him was when the teasing started up, and to be honest, it had just confirmed your thoughts that Warren didn't like you.
Whatever, though. You'd get over it. You wanted to get over it. And the opportunity was presented to you to do just that. You had been out shopping one day with Jean when a man had approached you- not Jean, but you. It was really surprising, as most men would completely skip over you to talk to your beautiful best friend. You didn't hold any resentment towards her, it's not like she can help it. But when a rather attractive man approaches you, asking you on a date? You couldn't help but be flattered.
    You were excited! Really, really excited for this date. You had put on a cute outfit, even throwing on a little makeup, dresses to impress you know? Plus, your date was really attractive, and for some reason, you felt like you needed to spruce yourself up a little bit to impress him. It had taken you forever to be happy with your look, with Jean reassuring you over and over that you looked perfect and that everything would be fine!
    Eventually, his car pulled up in front of the mansion to pick you up for your date. You only had to glance at the window before you were running down the stairs excitedly. Of course, leaving couldn’t be all that easy, could it?
    “What are you all dressed up for?” You hold in your groan at the sound of Warren’s voice. He’s leaning against the foyer wall, cocking an eyebrow at you with a smirk that makes your heart do something funny. Didn’t change the fact that you kinda wanted to punch him. 
    “If you have to know, I’m going on a date.” You say, rolling your eyes. His smirk drops immediately, but you don't really notice as you put your shoes on. 
    “A date? With who?” Warren Pushes himself off the wall to approach you, grabbing hold of your arm to keep you from running off just yet. You make a face at him, confused and a little annoyed at his attention. 
    “A guy. He asked me out while Jean and I were at the mall, not that you really need to know.” You snark. Warren scoffs at that, looking a little frustrated. He begins to talk again, but he’s cut off by the sound of a horn honking from outside. Your face falls, and your stomach drops at the sound. Your date must be impatient. You don’t like the implications of that. Warren looks angry, letting go of you as he takes a step back.
    “You’re really going to leave with a guy who doesn’t bother to ring the doorbell?” He asks. You can’t find any words to say, feeling a little hurt. You turn away from him, quickly opening the door to leave. Warren can see your face light up a little as you wave at your date, closing the door behind you. Warren’s wings sag a little, left in the foyer looking like a lost puppy without you. 
    “You know, if you were nicer to her you probably would’ve had a chance.” Warren sighs dramatically at the sound of Bobby’s voice, turning to see that he had been watching the whole time, eagerly munching on a bowl of cereal.
    “Can it, dude”
    The fact that you're going on a date doesn't sit well with Warren. There's a pit in his stomach that he can't seem to shake, and when he tried to talk about it, Bobby and Scott just waved him off, telling him he was just jealous- and well, he was. But that wasn't the point! He didn't like that you were going on a date with someone random, or anyone besides him, really. He just had a bad feeling about it all.
    He knows he doesn't really have the right to be as jealous as he was. The two of you weren't together- but at some point, he thought you would be. He liked you. More than friends should. He had for a while, but you started to pull away from him- so he started to do anything he could to get your attention. Sure, he wasn't exactly being nice, but he wasn't being mean. He wasn't trying to bully you or put you down, he was just… teasing. 
     Warren had been couped up in the library as the evening went on, staring out the window with a sigh as it had started to pour. He had been thinking a lot about what Bobby had said earlier, dwelling over it constantly. Normally when he was so caught up in thoughts like this he would fly around the mansion to clear his head, but with the storm outside that definitely wasn't going to happen. He sighs, resting his head against the window while his eyes begin to drift close, but a movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention.  He sits up a little bit, squinting at first to see whatever it is through the rain. When he finally realizes, it is like he was hit over the head with disbelief. 
...
     The rain was cold. You were shivering as you walked along the asphalt driveway up to the mansion doors, sniffling the whole time. You knew you looked like a mess, mascara running down your cheeks in inky black streams, soaked to the bone without a jacket to keep you warm. The date was a bust. You should have known better. Been smarter. Hell, you should have asked someone else to drive you so that you wouldn’t be stuck in this situation in the first place. Or at least brought your wallet so that you could’ve used the payphone to call someone to come get you. But here you are. You were sad, wet, and despairing over the long walk up the driveway, but at least you were back at the mansion. 
    It’s hard for you to see through the heavy rain, so you keep your head down towards the ground to keep the rain out of your eyes. You don’t even realize that someone had run out to get you until you hear footsteps splash through the puddled driveway. You try your best to wipe the tears from your eyes, praying that they won’t be able to tell with the rain, but it is hard to hide the puffy red face the tears left behind. 
    You don’t really want look look up when you feel the rain stop, already knowing who it is by the sound of his gait. Warren holds the umbrella out to you, and you take it. He has his trench coat over his arm, and he uses the extra hand to wrap it around your shoulders. It’s awfully big on you, but it’s warm and dry, and you're thankful. You wipe at your eyes again when Warren takes the umbrella back, trying hard not to start crying.
    “What happened?” Warren asks. You finally look at him, and the concerned look on his face just makes you feel worse. Your face scrunches as you tear up again, and you look up at the umbrella as you try to avoid the embarrassment. You don’t really know what to say. You don’t really want to say anything right now. But you do.
    “He didn’t know I was a mutant.” You say, voice shaking a little. Although, you can’t help but let out a pitiful laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. “He thought that the school was just some place for rich kids. I mentioned it offhand because I assumed he knew- and he didn’t. He wouldn’t drive me home so…” You make a vague motion at your soaking clothes. Warren looks angry. Angrier than you’ve ever seen him before. He opens his mouth to say something and decides better of it. Instead, He wraps an arm around you and begins to guide you back to the mansion. You blush a little at the action, but realize he probably just has to stay close to keep the both of you under the umbrella- not that his wings even fit, by the way.
    “You’re gonna be soaked.” You say, pointing towards his wings. Warren glances back, flexing the limbs just slightly, and shrugs. 
    “I’ll get over it. Wouldn’t be much of a hero if I let a pretty girl walk in the rain, would I?” Warren flirts, sending you a wink. You send him an incredulous look, before bursting out in laughter. Warren gasps, putting a hand over his “wounded” heart. 
     “Seriously? That was a good one, and you’re just laughing?” Warren complains, which only makes you laugh a bit harder. 
    “Oh please, that one was so cheesy!” You manage to say through the laughs. Warren is smiling, and it’s different than the smile he wears when he’s being an annoying jerk. His hair is wet, and his clothes are damp, but to be honest, you really start to understand why they call him Angel. You look away when you realize you’re blushing, but you can’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face. 
    “That guy was an idiot, by the way,” Warren says after a moment. Your smile falls a bit at the reminder of the start of the evening. “He really has no clue what he’s missing out on.” You snort at that, unable to keep yourself from rolling your eyes.
    “You sure have a lot to say for a guy who doesn’t like me all that much.” The words come out before you can really think about it, and you’re caught off guard when Warren stops walking. He doesn’t remove his arm from around your shoulders, but he moves so that he can look at you better.
    “What do you mean by that?” Warren asks, His face twisted in an expression you can’t quite figure out. The question and the seriousness in his tone surprise you, and you don’t quite know how to respond at first.
    “I- Huh?”
    “You don’t seriously think I dislike you, do you?” Warren asks again, worry bleeding through his tone. You furrow your brow in confusion.
    “What?? Warren, you’re not exactly subtle about it.” You mention, and Warren’s recoil is unexpected.
    “Oh my god, you do.” Warren holds his face in his hands for a quick moment, wondering how he had done so wrong. “Why would I dislike you? I literally spend every waking moment trying to get your attention!” You can’t help but let out a noise of confusion, mind working overtime to get the gears working in your head.
    “By tormenting me, you mean.” You say, and Warren vehemently shakes his head.
    “No! That’s not what I…” He begins, but he trails off. He’s trying to figure out something to say. Some way to let you know about how he feels, and his thoughts, but he just can't seem to find the words.
    “Okay then, Prove it.” You eventually say, crossing your arms defensively underneath his coat. Warren frowns at you.
    “What?” He asks.
    “Prove it. Prove that you don’t actually hate me.” You repeat again. You’re not exactly sure what you are expecting him to do or say. To be honest, you half expected him to give up altogether, but you were wrong about a lot of things.
    “I- you seriously want me to show you. Right now.” Warren asks again. You shrug your shoulders in response.
    “Yup.” Warren seems to take a moment for the confirmation to process, and then he smiles just slightly. Like he’s in disbelief about what he’s about to do. Before you know it, warren has dropped the umbrella, cupped your face with both hands, and pulled you into a kiss. 
    You’re wide-eyed for a moment, simply letting him kiss you in your disbelief as the rain pours down on you once again. Your mind still hasn’t quite caught up yet. Warren is kissing you so deeply, so lovingly, that you almost feel like you’re dreaming. He separates from you for a quick moment before kissing you again, this one a little less intense, and finally you find yourself catching up to the situation. You kiss him back, heart thundering in your chest. You can feel Warren physically relax, his wings fluttering just slightly behind him as you fully lean into the kiss, hands latching onto his shirt as you move closer. You feel him sigh into the kiss, and despite the cold rain, all you can feel is warmth. 
    When the two of you finally separate, Warren rests his forehead against yours. His pretty eyes look at you with fondness, and you find yourself wondering how you’d never seen it before. All he really wanted was your attention, didn’t he?
    “...We are so gonna get sick after this.” You mumble, brain still stalling a little bit. Warren lets out a laugh, pulling away to pick up the umbrella again. He pulls you a little closer than before as the two of you finally make it to the front steps.
    “Yeah, Probably.”
46 notes · View notes
Text
IM BACK AND I HAVE PERCIVER HEAD CANONS TO SHARE!!!
They meet in first year on the Hogwarts express. Percy's holding a giant book on third year divination. While this makes him a less attractive friend in the eyes of others', it's what brings Oliver Wood to the same train car as him. They introduce themselves and shake hands.
In second year, Oliver makes the Quidditch team as their keeper. Percy still spends the majority of his time indoors, but he goes to Ollie's practices and games every once in a while. After one specific game, Oliver comes back to the dorm with his breath cut short and with tears in his eyes. He stops breathing and the world goes spinning between each of his eyes; a panic attack, madame Pomphrey later describes it. The crowd triggered it.
Percy comforts him, sits on the same floor as him, rubbing the boy's back, repeating reassurance: "you're safe here,"
"You were good out there, really."
"I'll sit with you for as long as it takes."
Oliver comes to with his head on Percy's shoulder.
In third year, Percy goes to every practice and every game. He rubs Oliver's back when he returns to the dorm. When he loses for the first time, Percy has to chase him to stop him from running away, never to be found again.
"Hey, listen," Percy says, out of breath from the running. He doesn't understand how Oliver's barely breaking a sweat. "Tell me, okay? What went wrong out there?"
He gives Oliver a minute to pause and think.
Oliver gathers his thoughts and his breath. The sweat dripping down his neck fuels him, gives him energy. It clouds his head. He needs to calm down.
"I slipped on my broom." He says finally. "I wasn't planted on it properly."
"Good. What are you gonna do to fix it?" Percy replies, breathing better.
"I'll improve my grip."
"Good."
The two of them stand there, just breathing.
"Thanks."
In fourth year, they have the Yule Ball. Both of them are fifteen. Their year mates are out and about minging, asking each other out. The two of them stay where they are. They don't speak of the ball.
They go to the dance together, as friends of course. Percy keeps adjusting the collar to his hand-me-down dress robes. Oliver assures him that his attire is charming.
He sighs.
"If you had to wear these, I guarantee you'd understand me." Percy says. Over the summer his voice has changed. It's deeper and richer. Oliver loves it. Wishes he could taste it. Wishes these thoughts would go away. He grins and laughs Percy off.
When it's time to dance, they run away to a balcony that Percy didn't even know existed. They laugh and chat, making jokes at the dancers' expenses. Percy's had a bit to drink, (had he known the punch was alcoholic, he wouldn't have gone near it) and his face is flushed deep red.
"AND- and then when the-" he howls laughter. Oliver has to stop him from falling over himself.
Oliver thinks... He can't think at all. Suddenly. The two of them are so close together. He's got his arm around Percy's back and Percy's leaning against him, hands on Oliver's chest, still laughing. When he stops and catches his breath, though, the two of them seem to freeze. Oliver's heart skips a beat when he can physically feel Percy tensing up.
He kisses him.
Very awkwardly.
He made little action with his lips, just gently brushing his against the other boy's. The boy in question grins. Now it's Oliver's turn to flush deep red.
"ha-HA! No, wait, no, Oliver, wait."
Percy pulls Oliver back towards him by the arm. They're tangled with each other again, Oliver giving in to the urge to smile, just a bit, even after being embarrassed.
They kiss. Properly this time. It's the best thing Oliver's felt in his life. When they pull away, he whispers,
"Are you my boyfriend now?"
Percy smiles.
"Yes."
In fifth year, nightmares attack. O.W.Ls. Percy never sleeps anymore.
Oliver has to drag him away from his work table and force him onto his bed. When that bed later becomes repurposed for more studies, Oliver forces him onto his own bed. They sleep together and their dorm mates start getting suspicious.
Oliver sleeps in pajama bottoms and nothing else. Percy sleeps in a sweater and boxers. They spoon and Oliver rests his arm in front of Percy's only exit to stop him from crawling out of bed to study. Little does he know, Percy would never dare leave.
During the waking hours, Oliver drags Percy to other important places, such as breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The outdoors. Interaction with other human beings. It's a tough life out here for him.
When the exams finally start approaching, they do not stop making out. It's the only thing that gets Percy's mind off things. Only because there's nothing more distracting than Oliver's mouth.
To his own surprise and nobody else's, Percy passes his O.W.Ls with flying colours. Oliver passes alright despite not studying.
In sixth year it's the same for their N.E.W.Ts.
Something changes in the relationship between Percy and the rest of the student body, especially the girls. Oliver knows he's gotten taller. And his freckles have cleared enough for his gorgeous face to be visible. His voice is still as beautiful as it was in fourth year. He's started rolling up the sleeves of his sweaters, and the halls seem to swoon rapidly when they spot his forearms. Oliver always knew that Percy could have this power over people; he'd been subject to it himself. But it annoys him. And what's even worse is that Percy doesnt seem to notice when he's being flirted with.
He gets into the habit of writing on Oliver with pens, a strange Muggle device that's actually pretty nifty. Some mornings, Oliver wakes up with markings he doesn't even remember. Percy writes on his chest a lot. Draws on his collarbone. The most repeated word is Percy's name.
Oliver looks in the mirror one day, at his shirtless body.
PROPERTY OF PERCIVAL IGNATIUS WEASLEY
It says this all over his torso.
He grins. No one's stealing Percy from him anytime soon.
They pass their N.E.W.Ts.
The Summer Before Seventh Year
France is a gorgeous place, Oliver realises. Filled with gorgeous girls, too. He's lounging at the beach when one of them asks him out. He's put on the spot and exposed, wearing nothing but his swimming shorts and sunglasses. He fumbles over his words.
"Err, I mean, no..." The girl frowns. She has gorgeous eyes. "I mean, yes, sure. Is Friday at 7 PM okay with you?"
It doesn't even occur to him that she's a Muggle.
Immediately after he's uttered these words, he regrets it. But he can't stand her up. And she's already walking away. Merlin, Percy's gonna kill him.
It's just one date and Oliver doesn't even enjoy. They don't touch each other at all; they don't even hold hands. But Oliver knows what he's done, and he knows what he has to do.
He writes a letter.
I love you. I'm sorry. I couldn't live with myself if I kept it secret.
He sends it away with his black owl.
At the Burrow, Percy receives two letters back to back on his birthday. The first is from Hogwarts, confirmation that he's this year's Head Boy. He jumps around the kitchen, all dignity forgotten, and hugs his mother with an enormous grin on his face.
The second is from Oliver.
How quickly Percy's face turns sour. Mrs Weasley asks if he's okay.
Tears sting his eyes. Outside, he tells his mother everything.
One day before the start of the school year, the Weasley's are staying at the Leakey Cauldron overnight. Percy hears pebbles being thrown at his window and goes to see who it is.
Oliver Wood. Merlin.
Percy goes downstairs, striding towards his partner. Punches him in the face and immediately feels bad, but doesn't let that stop him. His voice is somewhere between a whisper and a yell and a sob,
"How could you?"
"I'm so sorry, Percy."
"Why did you do it?"
"We didn't do anything. Didn't touch her. I remember what you wrote on me."
Percy breathes in deep.
"I wasn't talking about just your body, Oliver. I was talking about you. All of you." He exhales, trying to hold himself together.
"I wouldn't think twice about rejecting some Muggle girl for you. You think I didn't notice when the whole female population at school suddenly wanted to date me? Just because of my body? I resisted them for you, Oliver. Because I love you. Why couldn't you do that for me?"
"I don't know. I'm so, so sorry."
They decide to take a break from their relationship. When they start attending school again, their dorm mates wonder why they've stopped sleeping together.
35 notes · View notes
lunajay33 · 2 days
Text
Change Part.6
•🎀🩰🩷•
Summary: Y/n is a loner but loves ballet but her family doesn’t have enough money for her to dance at the studio, Daryl is a redneck who hates people and prefers bikes, until one day these two run into eachother and their lives change drastically, will Daryl toughen her up? Will y/n soften Daryl? Or both? How will things go when people start coming back from the dead
Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x f!reader
A/n: This is going to be a series, it’s gonna start with how they met eachother and their lives before the apocalypse, eventually it’ll blend with twd story line!!
Part.5
•Masterlist•
Tumblr media
It had been a week since the incident with the walker, Daryl refused to let me go out alone again and I didn’t blame him I didn’t want to be alone either it was too risky, it wasn’t just my life in danger, I had a baby to worry about and I refused to leave Daryl alone in a world like this, I rolled over in bed admiring his sleeping form, his hair all crazy, I love him so much and the fact that our family was just about to begin tore something from me that I always dreamed about
“Mornin” he grumbled as I ran my hand through his hair
“Sorry did I wake you?”
“Nah I was up a while ago just waiting for ya”
“Mmmm” I didn’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what but my mood was at an all time low and I didn’t wanna drag Daryl down too
“What’re ya thinking about” he asked as he squeezed my hip
“Nothing”
“Angel I know ya like the back of my hand, I know when yer over thinking”
I sighed hating that he’s always been able to crack me out of my shell he shown me time and time again that I can trust him with anything, he’ll we’re having a baby together why shouldn’t I tell him
“Just been thinking where my family are now, I know I haven’t talked to them in like a year but I still wonder if they’re even alive”
“The last time you talked to them they called ya a selfish slut, ya shouldn’t worry about them, all they’ve ever done was hurt ya angel, we got our own family now, one that’ll love ya more than they ever could” Daryl wasn’t much of a big speech kinda guy but when he knew I needed comforting he pushed that side of him away to be there for me
“Yeah I guess you’re right, like usual” I said laughing as he pulled me closer so I could lay my head in his chest
Tumblr media
I was sat in the living room curled in a blanket reading the new twilight book hearing the rain patter against the windows, the smell of a roast in the oven that Daryl had put in, right when I got to the part where Edward was leaving Bella the phone rang, Daryl at my side handed it over scoffing at the caller ID
Caller ID: Jackson L/N
“This can’t be good” I sighed clicking answer and putting it on speaker
“Hello?”
“You need to come home” not even a hi or nothing
“Why? None of you have bothered to contact me in months what is it this time?”
“Dad lost his job, mom and dad need money for rent” I could see the anger written all over Daryl’s face
“Jackson I have my own life now, I can’t be helping you guys out ever time you need money, I have bills of my own and I don’t wanna waste my money on people who don’t even care about me”
“Are you serious right now?” He asked enraged
“Why can’t you help, you’re the one that got that football scholarship, I had to work my way through university and I’m still paying off student loans, plus Daryl and I have to pay for our house and car and motorcycle”
“You know what this is done, you’re out of this family for good this time, mom and dad should’ve gotten rid of you when they had the chance you selfish slut” the phone disconnected signalling he hung up
I looked at feeling my chest tighten, I never wanted this I was never the golden child in their eyes, I only ever felt like I mattered when Daryl came into my life
“He’s lucky this was over the phone or I’d beat him into the ground” Daryl groaned rubbing my legs over the blanket
“Why am I never good enough for them?”
“Ya got that wrong Angel, they ain’t good enough for you”
Tumblr media
As I sat outside eating breakfast Daryl and Merle got ready for the day, Merle was going to Atlanta with some people from the camp and Daryl was going out hoping to find a deer he’s been tracking for a while
“I gotta go now Angel” Daryl said as he stung his crossbow over his shoulder
“But I don’t want you to go” I whined getting up to wrap my arms around him
“I know but I’ll be back later this evening just try and stay around the other, don’t want another problem like last week” he said placing a kiss to my cheek
“Fine just promise me you’ll be safe out there, that you’ll come back to me”
“Promise”
He picked up some extra arrows and disappeared through the tree line
“Ya got him wrapped around yer lil finger don’t ya” Merle mocked
“Come on Merle can’t you just be happy that he’s happy, I know you don’t like me much but you’re my family now and I’m yours, plus I’m carrying your niece or nephew can’t we just be cordial for once” I said exhausted from his constant bickering
“Don’t matter ta me ya got knocked up, ya made my brother soft and yer gonna see ya ruined his life” he picked up his weapons and left the camp site leaving with the Atlanta crew
“God when do I catch I break?” I sat back down in the camp chair not noticing someone sit next to me until they talked
“You okay sweetie?” It was Lori
“It’s just Merle, always a pain in my ass, just been thinking about what’s gonna happen now with the baby and everything I’m just scared” I looked at here to see if she’d give me advice but here eyes were wide
“What?” I asked confused
“You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah, I guess we never really mentioned it”
“You know when I found out I was pregnant with Carl, I was a wreck I was young and scared and didn’t know what to do with myself, but the moment I saw him curled up in my arms so little without a care in the world, I knew what I had to do to protect him from harm, everything will be okay” she smiled patting my back
“Thanks, that’s help a bit I just wish it wasn’t in these circumstances”
“How far along are you?”
“About 4 months now, I’ve been taking my prenatals and everything”
“Well I’m always here if you have questions about the baby or changes you go through, but I have to go cut Carls hair”
Something clicked, maybe since this was a new start for Daryl and I and with the baby in this new world maybe I needed a new look, something to liven my spirits
“Umm Lori, would you be up for cutting my hair too!” I asked as I ran up next to her as she walked towards her camp
“I’d love to”
I sat next to Shane as Lori worked on Carls hair, he couldn’t stop complaining but it was adorable
“One day you’re gone wish you had her cutting your hair” Shane said laughing
“Doubt it”
“Trust me Carl, one day you’ll crave to be have these moments again with your mom, it may not seem like it but you will” I said seeing a little smile on his rosy cheeks
“Alright you’re all done” Lori said as she swiped off his extra hair on his shirt
I sat down in front of her as she wrapped a towel around my shoulders
“Alright how short do you want it?” My hair was down to my mid lower back
“How about just below my shoulder”
“That’s quit a chop”
“Well I need it”
She held my hair back and it a split second it was chopped, she straightened out some uneven pieces and it was done
“Well what do you think?”
“It’s really nice Mrs. Dixon!” Carl said with a beaming smile
“Well thank you but you can call me y/n sweetie” he was adorable I hope my child is as sweet as him
“It suits you perfect dear”
“Thank you! I should go clean some clothes done at the quarry, if you need anything I’ll be down there!”
I spent most of the evening down at the quarry cleaning and scribbling mine and daryls dirty clothes, laying them out on some rocks to let them dry, meanwhile dipping my feet in the cool water helping to sooth my ankles that have been getting a bit swollen
I looked around hoping no one was near, I haven’t been able to get a good proper bath in a while so I stripped down my clothes leaving only my bra and panties, submerging myself in the lake floating belly up watching the clouds pass by just like the time Daryl took me here
Tumblr media
“Daryl Dixon did you drag me out here just to see me naked?” I asked smirking as he started taking off his shoes and pants
“Come on it’s nice out yer gonna love it” he said as he was stepping into the lake
I bit my lip feeling that thrill shoot through me, I stripped to just my panties and bra, I walked over taking his hand
“Aren’t you going to take your shirt off?”
“Ya sure?” I knew he was embarrassed about his scars but they weren’t his fault
“You know they don’t bother me, I love you for you, not what happen to you” I said squeezing his hand reassuringly
He lifted it over his head and threw it back over to my clothes pill
“Come on Dixon show me how great this’ll be, better not let me drown” I laughed as I dragged him in
“Still can’t believe yer my girl”
“And I’ll be your girl until you’re sick of me”
“Never”
Tumblr media
“Well well well what do we have here?” I heard behind me as I pulled on my clothes after drying off
“What do you want Ed?” I groaned feeling that touch of fear he instilled in the women of the camp
“Showing yourself down here for the whole camp, you’re asking for it” he said stepping closer
“Leave me alone Ed”
“Ya ain’t got your man around who’s gonna stop me?”
“Don’t you touch me or you’ll be sorry”
He stepped closer squeezing my jaw now face to face
“Like I said ain’t no one gonna stop me” he said as his other hand started to wander down my arm
Before he could get any further he was ripped away Shane throwing him to the ground
“Touch her or anyone else again Ed and I’ll beat ya to death I swear, come on y/n” I gathered up all the clothes I washed and ran to Shane’s side as he lead me safely back to the camp
“Thanks, I didn’t know anyone was around”
“Ain’t your fault, Ed’s one sick man you stay away from him, stay with the group until Daryl or Merle gets back”
I sat down next to Amy folding up the laundry still to shaken up to have conversation that’s when a car alarm was ringing around the quarry, the group was back and it felt a little better knowing Merle would be here while Daryl was gone, Shane shut off the car alarm and others filtered out of a cargo truck
Lori and Carl had their moment with their “back from the dead” father and husband which was incredibly heart warming but then I realized something
“Where’s Merle?”
Tumblr media
Please please please give me some ideas for this story going forward🩷 How should I incorporate the ballerina story line into the new world??:)
Taglist: @pinchofthetwd @bigbaldheadname @strawberrykiwisdogog @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @l0kilaufeys0n7 @deansapplepie @severelykinky @tesfayera @daryldixmedown @secretsicanthideanymore @mordilwen-of-mirkwood @secretsicanthideanymore @superbowlisgay @pollito-chicken @minnie-min @writer-ann-artist @twisteduniverse5 @heidiland05 @lettersfromyourlove
35 notes · View notes
samynnad102687 · 2 days
Text
Growing Old
@struttingstag
April 16 Prompt: Growing Old | 1216 words | Jegulus
James was lying in the bed at their rented villa on the French Riveria with his now-husband. He still couldn't believe that Regulus agreed to date him let alone marry him. They had just spent the last month touring different countries in Europe and it was their last day before they had to go back home to London and back to real life. James was not ready to give up this little bubble they had created.
James looked over to find Regulus still sleeping, curled up into James' side with his head on his chest. James couldn't help but smile down at him. He raised one hand slightly to card his fingers through his hair. Regulus hummed in his sleep as he crowded James even more. James tried not to laugh but it came out anyway.
"Jamie," Regulus mumbled into his chest.
"Yeah, Starlight?"
"Go back to sleep."
"I'd love to but you know me, once I'm up, I'm up."
Regulus peeked up at him from under his lashes with a slight glare but both of them knew it didn't mean anything.
"Why did I marry you?"
"Because you love me and you want to grow old with me," James beamed at his husband.
"Oh, yeah. That," Regulus replied sleepily. "Well, stop moving so I can go back to sleep."
"We go home today, love."
"No."
"No?"
"Nope, we're gonna freeze time and stay here forever," Regulus declared as he gripped James' waist tighter.
"Is that so?"
"Yup."
James was okay with that plan.
**
James was running around the house trying to get everything ready for Harry's first day of reception. Regulus was in Harry's room getting him dressed. Regulus and James got the honour of dropping him off with Luna while Lily and Pandora got to pick him up after school since he was spending the night with them while James and Regulus went out for the night. In the last ten years, they tried to keep a weekly date night so they didn't get burnt out with work and parenthood.
"Are you ready, James?" Regulus called from the top of the stairs.
"Yeah. Just need to grab his jacket and then everything is set," James replied as he whirled around to look for the jacket he just had in his hand and now wasn't.
"You mean this jacket?" Regulus chuckled as he held up Harry's Spiderman jacket that Pandora got him for Christmas last year.
"I swear it was just in my hand," James laughed as he kissed his husband on the lips.
"I'm sure it was, Mon Soleil."
Regulus shook his head before he helped Harry into his jacket.
"All ready, Haz?" James asked the obviously excited five-year-old.
"Yeah. Is Luna gonna be in my class?"
"Yes, she is," Regulus confirmed.
Harry and Luna were only a few months apart, so they have been inseparable since birth. James and Regulus loaded Harry up into the car and made sure his buckle was secured before James pulled out of the drive. The drive to the school wasn't long but James could already feel the nerves about having his child start school and not being home all day anymore. They arrived and Harry was practically bouncing in his booster seat.
"Do you need help, Haz?" Regulus asked after he opened the back door.
"No. I got it."
Harry unbuckled himself and James handed him his backpack before the three of them walked up to the school and into his classroom.
**
James never wanted to end up in a hospital's waiting room again. He had just dropped Harry off with the Weasleys for the night when he got a call from the hospital. Regulus was in a car accident, so here he was sitting antsy as fuck and waiting to hear how his husband was doing. The receptionist refused to tell him anything aside from he was still in surgery.
Two hours later, the doctor finally came out to talk to him. By that time, James had called Lily, Pandora and Sirius. He hadn't told Harry yet. Mainly because he wanted to wait and find out how bad it was. James was listening to the doctor but the only thing that came through his cloudy mind was 'Regulus is going to be just fine.' James could have dropped to his knees right then and there in relief if Sirius wasn't holding him up.
After James got his bearings again, he followed the doctor back to the recovery room where Regulus was. Regulus had his leg elevated and in a cast as well as some scrapes and bruises along the side of his neck and chest. James hated that he was injured and mentally cursed whoever hit him.
"It's not as bad as it looks, love," Regulus chuckled lightly as he reached out for James' hand.
"It looks pretty bad, Reg," James whispered as he took his husband's hand. "What happened?"
"Somebody ran a red light and t-boned my passenger side. The doctor said if there was anybody else in the car, they wouldn't have survived and I'm lucky to only have a broken leg and some bruising," Regulus replied as he squeezed James' hand in reassurance. "Everything is going to be okay. Where's Harry?"
"At Ron's. I didn't want to worry him so I didn't tell him anything yet," James replied absentmindedly as he looked at Regulus' injuries.
"Probably a good idea," Regulus mused.
**
"Haz, hurry up before you're late for your own graduation," James shouted up the stairs.
"I'm coming, Dad. Don't get your knickers in a twist."
Regulus was sitting on the couch laughing quietly and James spun around to glare at him.
"I don't want to hear it," James pointed at him but had no bite to his tone.
"If I remember correctly, you were almost late to your own graduation too, so I wouldn't give him so much grief. He does take after his father after all."
"He's your son too, you know," James remarked before he kissed Regulus on the forehead. "Maybe, he'll come down quicker for you."
Regulus shrugged and stood up before he walked to the stairs and called for Harry, "Haz, it's time to go."
"Be right down, Papa," Harry replied and was on the landing within the next minute.
Regulus turned towards James and smirked.
**
The summer night air was a little sticky after the rain storm but it didn't stop the great-grandkids from playing in the puddles and the mud, no matter how much James and Regulus told them not to. James couldn't help the love that swelled in his heart as he watched them.
James and Regulus were sitting on their wrap-around porch watching them chase each other around the garden. The older two were making sure that the younger three were included instead of ignoring them like most teenagers would do. They weren't on their phones either which James appreciated.
"Can you believe we get to watch our great-grandkids run around like this?" Regulus asked as he cuddled closer to James on the porch swing.
"I told you we would," James replied as he kissed his forehead gently.
"Yeah, you did." Regulus smiled up at him before he continued, "I love you, Mon Soleil."
"I love you too, Mon étoile."
Also posted on Ao3: As Time Passes
20 notes · View notes
ldrloverrrrrr · 2 days
Text
can we fall in love? pt. 2
formerly known as be my baby !
matt x female!oc
Tumblr media
moodboard is at the end bc i couldn’t fix it😭
song for the whole series:
ABOUT: the girl who believes she’s unlovable meets the boy who can’t take his eyes off of her and has too much love to give but can’t admit his feelings for her.
A/N: sorry if this is long, let me know what you think about the story so far and what you want to see. Thank you for reading <33
MATT:
“so do you skate?” i asked just wanting to her voice more. “nah i just like the vibe here plus it’s good for painting because there’s no old people telling me i’m ‘wasting my youth’” i laughed at that. Chris told me that nick was calling asking where we were but i didn’t want to leave Ava yet so i let him walk ahead telling him i’ll meet him at the car. “sorry if this is too forward because we’ve just met but do you wanna grab something to eat later? me, my brothers and a few friends are meeting for pizza in south end.” i bit my lip hoping she’d say yes. “sure! i’ve not got anything planned, i’ll give u my number and you can text me the details” silently celebrating we exchanged numbers and i caught up to chris. “i invited ava to dinner later with us!” i said to him excitedly, “matt.” “what?” “you so have a crush on her” “no i don’t what?” i lied “you’re blushing like crazy and all giddy” he replied, i just shoved his shoulder and walked around to the drivers seat. We hoped into the car on the way home, all i could think of was her and how i excited i was to see her again, but then i thought what if she thinks i was being weird by asking her so many questions? is she actually serious about coming? maybe it was a mistake. we got home and i felt my phone buzz.
Ava
hey!! what’s the plans for later?
i was instantly relieved, until i heard chris walk in and said to nick “matts in loveee” while making a heart with his hands, “shut up chris” i nudged him, nick was too distracted with something on his phone to care. “nick we met a new friend and i invited her to dinner later, if that’s ok with you?”
“yea no problem what’s their name?”
“ava”
“oooo ava” he teased
“not you now” i rolled my eyes
“what’s she like then” he said putting his phone down and walking over to the counter where i was sitting.
“we met her at the skatepark she was listening to lil skies so obviously we went over, she was doing some graffiti too it was really cool you should’ve seen!” chris mentioned
“i can’t wait to meet her then!”.
AVA:
i walked back home with mila telling her about the boys, “he sounds really nice” “i know right he invited me out for pizza later but i have no clue what to wear” mila stopped and squealed “ILL HELP YOU!!” i immediately agreed and we ran into the apartment. i put some songs on and she started to pick out some options from my closet, after deciding on my clothes she did my makeup all nice and i sprayed some perfume. “now listen, if anyone tries anything sneaky call me and i will beat their ass, no joke” she said deadpanned, i giggled “ i’m sure i’ll be fine mila” she wrapped her arms round me and sighed “sorry for ditching you tonight, i need a new job honestly this is killing my social life” i laughed and said “don’t worry about it” i looked down at my phone to see matt texted saying he’s outside i quickly replied and said bye to mila, running down stairs being careful to not fall down. chris waved through the window and pointed to the back door. “hi guys, thank you so much for inviting me!” “hey i’m nick, you must be ava?” i turned to my left “yes nice to meet you! oh my god i love your tattoos” he thanked me and i looked forward to where matt was to see him staring through the mirror at me, when i noticed he swiftly averted his gaze saying “ok are we ready to go?” “yep all good” i responded. On our way chris was playing songs on aux while i got to know them a bit better. “so what brings you to LA” nick asked “well honestly scotland is depressing as hell and i love the vibes here but most of the reason was my family” i took a pause before talking again “i’m just not that close with them” i didn’t want to fully unload my trauma onto them, i had only known them a few hours, “what about you guys, matt told me you’re from boston?” nick explained their reasons and by the time he was done we arrived at the restaurant. hopping out of the car i met their friends and we went inside. i decided to sit in between matt and chris in the booth seats and we ordered. in my head i was super nervous to eat anything infront of everyone, it had always been something i just couldn’t get over for some reason. i hadn’t realised i had zoned out before i felt a familiar tap on my shoulder “hey, you okay?” matt asked “oh yeah sorry i was just distracted” “you wanna talk about it?” he offered “oh no it’s nothing thank you though” why was he so kind to me, i had known him for under a day, i don’t know if it’s just because i’ve never had real friends but i felt almost guilty by being there. After eating i excused myself to the bathroom and their friend madi came with me. She was literally gorgeous, like something straight out of a magazine we instantly clicked and she really welcomed me into their group. “ava, i think matt likes you” she whispered “what?” “i don’t know for sure but he kept admiring you and he was super excited telling us about you before we went out” i didn’t really know how to respond so i just laughed it off. someone liking me felt other worldly, i was constantly teased at school and made fun of so it fully drained me of any expectations but madi seemed so sure. On the way home chris handed me the aux cable “since we already know you have good taste in music” he chuckled, i scrolled through my playlist and played ‘broken clocks by sza’ nick instantly turned to me and yelled “OH MY GOD I LOVE SZA” “STOP ME TOO” we started belting out the lyrics, matt and chris just laughed and we drives through the dark LA streets before reaching my apartment block. “thank you so much for the night, i had a lot of fun!” i hugged nick before jumping out the car and waving to chris and matt.
MATT:
2:00am
i was laying in my bed unable to sleep because i couldn’t stop thinking of her. i was listening to music until i heard my phone vibrate.
Ava
thank you sm again for tonight, see ya soon :)
My heart started beating fast and a smile plastered across my tired face before i replied and drifted off.
AHH LET ME KNOW WHAT U GUYS THINK 🤍🤍
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
20 notes · View notes
idontplaytrack · 12 hours
Text
Wrapped Around Your Fingers
AJ Campos x fem! reader
Warnings: MDNI, SMUT. toy use(reader) Oral, fingering, pet names(both receiving), orgasm denial, multiple orgasms(reader receiving), phone sex.
In which, a hormonal reader gets the unbearable desire for AJ and takes matters into her own hands first.
Requested? Yes / No
Very lengthy fic, maybe to make up for the lack of smut fics from me lately lol. This draft was started 22nd April🥲
Tumblr media
The song choice, if you get it, you get it hahah. I saw a wlw rendition of it on Tiktok and it inspired a part of this fic.
Rolling over in bed, you were startled by the fact that the spot next to you was cold and empty. But then you remembered that AJ had track practice all day - well, not all day but it seems like it sometimes. Anyway, your little dream woke you up all hot and bothered. You were ovulating. And during then, you were, let’s just say…needy. You tried to go about your day as per usual, but didn’t even last an hour before sending AJ a suggestive text. Obviously, knowing her schedule, she was busy and you ended up taking matters into your own hands in the meantime while you waited for a response from her.
Walking back into your shared bedroom, you shut the doors and curtains, turning on the bedside lamp that has warm lighting. Next, you grabbed your favourite vibrator and popped a battery in, pressing the power on button to test it. Shrugging, you powered it off to remove your shorts. And right as you ghosted the toy over your clothed clit, your phone buzzes.
Sighing, you reached over to get ahold of it. And you’d just gotten a glimpse of her equally enthusiastic reply before you got a call from her.
“Hey. I’m on my break now so I have some time.” AJ started, “I’m in my car so I have the privacy.”
“Oh?”
“Yes.” She chuckles lowly, “So tell me, what’re you doing right now?”
Does she know? God, she could hear it, couldn’t she?
“I, uh—”
“I hear the buzzing, babe.” She states.
Oops.
AJ laughs, “You want me to tell you what to do, my love?”
You gulped.
“O-okay.” Your breath hitched as you blinked furiously.
“Well, if I recall correctly, you’d always press a vibrator up to your clit first. So, why not just keep doing that while you let your mind…run free? Think about me, what’s I’d be doing to you if I were there. My hands squeezing and massaging your tits, my eyes looking at you trying not to whine…”
You did, you let a whine slip and she chuckles expectantly. “Keep thinking about what you wanna do with me, what you want me to do you, anything at all…”
Oh, jesus. You panted, another whine getting caught in your throat.
“Hey, I wanna hear you, y/n.” She demanded, but was still gentle. You didn’t say a thing back. “y/n, did you hear that?”
“Yeah.” You swallowed harshly, “Yeah.”
“Good. Slip your underwear off.” She instructed, and you did just that before she even finished speaking. “Keep the toy there, trace yourself, tease yourself…feel how wet you are, baby…”
You whimpered, pursing your lips together while keeping the vibrator against your clit. The fingers on your free hand moved like she told you to, working yourself up with ease. “Does that feel good, baby?”
Another whimper falls from your mouth at her question. “That’s what I thought.” She said back, you could almost hear that she was smirking.
“Use your fingers, fuck yourself. Fuck yourself until you’re close and pull them out and also stop the vibe.” She ordered without hesitance, that tone of voice riled you up further as you became acutely aware of the slick that was almost too rapidly coating your hand.
You stuck two fingers into your entrance and began to push them in and pull them out, not even bothering to start slowly because you were way too worked up already, the lack of friction was making you go faster to make up for it, and AJ could damn well hear it. The desperation.
How your breath became increasingly ragged, how the little noises slipped from your mouth unendingly, each one signalling to her that you were steadily approaching climax.
“AJ, oh my God, I—”
“Okay, stop.” She told you. And you did, but not without a very unhappy whine. AJ laughs lightly, “Be good, bunny. Just wait for a little bit, and then resume.”
It was probably not more than a minute before she gave you the okay to continue stimulating yourself. But it felt like forever and hurt like hell. “Oh, poor baby couldn’t wait a second longer, hm?” She chuckles lowly, “That’s okay, keep going. Keep letting me hear you. Picture me right there with you, hands holding you open while I lick you up, over…and over. You can’t hold back, don’t fight it. I wanna hear all of it, y/n.”
“Oh, fuck. Fuck.” You moaned, “I’m so close, babe.”
“I know, I know.” She hums, “I know, my love.”
Shit. She really knew how to make you go crazy. What she’d just said made you feel intense butterflies in your chest that quickly rushed down south. Before you knew it, you felt yourself tightening, your walls clenching erratically, wrapping itself around your fingers. The noises came out of you unendingly, without any other thought than the fact that you needed to come and soon.
“Give me one, baby. Go ahead. Come now.”
Your body takes her command as its cue to unravel, you’d pushed yourself over the edge successfully, now riding your high out with the languish pace of your fingers. “Good girl.” She praised. You cursed under your breath, “Oh, my fucking god. God, I miss you AJ. I need you so bad.”
“I’ll be home in a few hours, baby.” She promised, “Why don’t you go take a nice relaxing bath in the meantime? Then maybe give yourself a round two if you feel like it? I’ll be home before you know it.”
————
Well, you didn’t even think about going again, but since she suggested it— Damn it, you were thinking about it now. It was your off day so you didn’t have anything to do anyway, so you just picked out a new set of clothes then went to run a bath for yourself.
You sat in there for a good while, getting some shut-eye, but of course, your mind drifts back to your conversation with AJ and you were then subsequently pulled out of your thoughts and the bath, by the familiar buzzing of your phone. Getting out of the tub, you wrap yourself in a fuzzy robe after reentering your shared bedroom. You got ahold of your phone and realised it was a text from AJ. A selfie. This girl knew you like the back of her own hand, doing precisely what would make you feel in the mood.
“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath, “Damn it, AJ.”
You sent her one back, showing your utter annoyance at her attempt while you were freshly bathed. But there was no denying it worked- her selfie did its work.
What you did next, though, was to get dressed and get in bed to get some sleep. You were feeling very comfortable and sleepy, so you could definitely fall asleep quickly right now. Wrapping yourself under the covers, you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep without any trouble. It was a pretty peaceful sleep, except for the wet dream you started to have before getting awoken by someone walking around the room. You hear the creak of the wardrobe door, eyes peeling open. “AJ.” You gasped.
“Hi, baby.” She smiled, shutting the wardrobe door and climbing into bed with you, still undressed. Your eyes stayed open for barely a few seconds before they fluttered shut again. You feel her hand on your cheek, “Hey, you. You okay?”
“‘m just sleepy.” You mumbled. She presses a soft kiss to your lips and you naturally reciprocated. “Do you still need me to—”
“Mmm, yeah.” You hummed, barely audible as you squirmed a little to free yourself slightly from the covers, “Fuck, of course.”
“Okay.” She kisses you again, this time it wasn’t just a light touch- it deepens, she slips her tongue into your mouth while tangling your legs together. Her knee swiftly finds its way in between your thighs, pushing up against the sensitive area. You seethed and nearly bit her on the lip, chuckling as your hand travelled down to her bare ass, giving it a squeeze. “Hey.” She chided playfully, “No, no. You did the work earlier, it’s my turn right now.”
“Please, I missed you.” She told her, out of breath. She sent a bewildered look your way, having not seen you like this before. Not that she was complaining, but it was vastly different than your usual quiet and submissive manner.
“Alright…” She gave in, letting you touch her as you pleased, inevitably you riled yourself up even more, feeling as if her kisses alone were no longer enough. A whine slips from your lips, prompting her to ask you what you wanted. “I don’t care what you do, I just need you, please. Take me however you want.”
“Someone’s a little eager today.” She smirked, peeling the blanket off of you, her knee leaving its position in the process.
“Fine, I’m horny as fuck. Is that what you wanted to hear?” You revealed. She hovers over you, allowing your eyes to a treat of her bare body. Oh, yup. That ignited something in you.
“AJ, can I— can I top you?”
“Thought you said you needed me ‘so bad’.” She teased.
“Oh.” Your face fell. She bites back a laugh, “Baby, it’s totally fine. You can, absolutely. Go for it.”
You flipped her over, now being in her position instead. You straddle her though, eventually sitting down on her core carefully. You bent forward to reconnect your lips, cupping her face at the same time. You gradually moved lower, eliciting sweet little noises out of her mouth that was like music to your ears, having your yearning for more. “Feel good, babe?” You ask, now laying beside her, her breast right in front of your face. “Yeah, fuck!” She panted, a grin plastered on her face when you captured her nipple in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, she moans. Your hand skilfully reached out to her other breast and shamelessly massaged it. The noises from her don’t stop, on the brink of sounding pornographic at this point. You were quick to move even lower, your sleepiness long forgotten now. Pushing her legs open as she moved them herself, it was like a well-coordinated dance of sorts as you eagerly dipping your tongue into her folds.
“Fuck, baby. That feels so fucking good.” AJ hums, her hand tangling in your hair to keep you in place. You smiled in content, circling her clit and going faster. “Yeah, oh, fuck. That’s it, keep—”
When you slipped a finger into the mix, “Holy shit, oh, my God, okay.” She panted, eyes flicking downward to look at you. You two locked eyes, you purposely pushed into her harder, your finger stays curled to hit her g-spot repeatedly. With each whine, came a curse word, which made you feel like you were ascending into heaven. When her back started to arch off the mattress, she pulls herself a little further from you so you grabbed her hip and pulled her back. “Are you close?”
“Yeah, shit. Keep going, please. Please. I’m so close, babe.”
You detached your mouth and pulled out your finger just for fun. You wanted to see her squirm. “Baby, please…” She blindly reached for your hair, wanting you back on her and in her. “Please, y/n…”
You were going to give in either way, you just wanted to hear all of that. Once you’ve had enough of your fun, you attached yourself onto her cunt again, fingers resuming their movement. You watched her absolutely blissed out face as she rapidly approached her high. She looks so damn cute, wrapped around your fingers like that. Her eyes hooded as she looked right at you, not having a single thought other than one — she needed that release. You could not only see it, but feel it. The clenching around your fingers began slowly, but it soon became prominent, erratic. And then came the pulsing of her clit, as if it was convulsing beneath the warmth of your mouth.
“Come for me, AJ…” You coaxed, “Come for me. I know you want to— do it.”
With an absolutely obscene whine, she unravels, soaking your fingers and some of the bed beneath her. You watch, satisfied. “Oh, you’re so amazing.”
“Aw, I’m flattered.” You joked. She laid on her stomach for a moment before pushing herself up.
————
“Okay, baby.” AJ looked at you, “Come on, your turn.”
You laid down gleefully, ready for her to get started. “Still want me to take you however I want?” She asked seriously.
“Yup.” You confirmed, “Just fucking kiss me already, God. That was so, so perfect.”
She smiled, instantly giving you what she wanted. “You did so good.” She brushes the hair out of your face. “You wanna lay on your stomach for me, baby? Face down, ass up?”
“Okay.” You lazily started moving yourself after she took off your clothes and she helps, adding a pillow beneath you to aid the position and for your comfort.
“I’ll be back in a minute okay? I’m just going to grab a couple things.”
You knew, you knew just what she was going to retrieve and you were fucking happy about it. Your guesses were proven right when you felt the cool feeling of the lube hitting your skin. Chuckling, you felt another rush of heat force its way down and out of your cunt. “You probably didn’t need that much lube.” She laughs, “But it’s okay.” AJ finger ran a stripe up from your clit to your entrance and you squirmed, a whine reflexively heard from you. And that’s when you felt it- the tip of the strap teasing your folds before it settles at your entrance. She peered over to look at your face before she started pushing into you cautiously. Your mouth hangs open, a low groan emits.
As she gains momentum, she also picks up her pace, based on what she was hearing from you. However, due to your solo session a few hours prior, you found yourself near the edge sooner than you liked. “AJ?” You called out, “Can you edge me?”
Never would you have thought that you would say those words…but, AJ being AJ, she was more than happy to oblige.
“Sure, bunny.” She replied, her left hand groping your ass cheek as she slowed down. In the meantime, your soft needy noises kept that smile on her face as she admired you— face, body and anything else in between.
After a good while, you feel the apparent tightening in your core, an abrupt high pitch noise alerted her of it. “Want me to go faster, baby?”
You nodded enthusiastically, “But can you use your hands, please?”
“Of course, my girl.” AJ answered sweetly, gradually pulling herself out then pushing you to lay on your back. She doesn’t start immediately, but instead leaned in to kiss you for a little bit first. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” You answered, naturally a little winded.
“Good.” She caresses your cheek before relocating herself between your legs after spreading them apart. “So pretty.” AJ remarked, then you feel her ring-clad fingers gliding up and down your folds. Your clit pulses as her touch, asking for more. She listens, you feel her push her middle finger into you- you could feel it by how the rest of her fingers rested against you. She fingered you till you shook, a whiny mess before her eyes then slid her ring finger inside you. You let out a cry in surprise, “Yeah, yeah. Oh— God. I’m gonna come, AJ…”
And you did, swiftly unraveling once, then again when she continued the push and pull of her fingers then sucked you with her mouth. Pressing a kiss to your clit, she proceeds to pepper kisses all over your inner thighs as she rubbed them comfortingly as you came down from your high.
Removing the harness her attention was quickly on you again. “You’re okay, my love. You’re okay….it’s okay.” She cajoled, carefully making her way to your side to hold you in her arms. She brushes the hair out of your eyes and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re okay, hm?” She asks, her fingers combing through your slightly messy hair. You nodded, giving her the confirmation, “Yeah, I’m alright. I’m alright.”
She caresses your cheek, looking at you lovingly as your eyes began to droop, “Thanks for letting me try topping you, babe.”
“Oh, I loved it. Please do that again sometime.” AJ smiled.
“Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Nope, you didn’t. You did so fucking incredible. I would’ve stopped you if you did hurt me. Don’t worry.” She assured. You nodded silently.
You gave her a sleepy smile, fighting the urge to fall asleep, “Okay.” You planted a kiss on her forehead, “I love you.”
AJ chuckles, rubbing your back, “I love you too, my girl. Get some rest, I’ll go make us some dinner.”
You mumbled a barely coherent acknowledgment to what she said while you snuggled closer to her chest, basking in her warmth and embrace. “I love you, AJ. So much.”
“I love you more, baby.”
15 notes · View notes
trunklewunjle · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
Woe bone pile sheet be upon ye
Ink belongs to comyet
Error belongs to CrayonQueen
Cross belongs to JakeiArtWork
Dream belongs to Jokublog
106 notes · View notes
seithr · 16 days
Text
Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
3 notes · View notes
born-to-lose · 2 years
Text
In my depressed era again <3
#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it#probably a bad mix of overthinking and lovesickness again but what's new#i figured out why i like to do stuff until late at night until i fall asleep lol it's because i don't wanna be left alone with my thoughts#i guess that's why i could go such a long time without you know what... i always had lots of schoolwork to do and didn't have much time to-#-think about this kind of shit and once i don't have anything to do anymore i found myself in bed with a bleeding arm lmao#also let's call this my 'everyone i know hates me and my best friends despise me the most' era#still gonna stay up two more hours because i'm like a damn puppy who waits excitedly for their favorite person to come home from work#at this point i should maybe write all this shit in a diary but like. you know how my rambling posts start so y'all can just ignore#tldr i'm feeling like shit and i can't promise that i won't do something stupid again#i'm just too hung up on things that happened weeks ago but like what if it isn't actually ok now#also i know i'm too clingy and possessive with people i'm really close to but it's just my abandonment issues :(#and i know i fucked things up with other people (friendships and relationships) way too many times so i'm putting all i have into this one#still i feel like it's too much and too little at the same time idk i just Know when i really like someone and then i don't wanna lose them#but at the same time i often drive them away with my excessive love and attention because certain people are like some addiction to me#ok no that's too much already for now sorry#anyways i'm sobbing and shaking and feeling terrible and guilty#oh and unrelated but i nearly got run over by a car today 👍🏻 fucking hate drunk small town students in a mcd's parking lot#mel talks#tw self harm
7 notes · View notes
agdab · 5 months
Text
so fucked up that if you got two donut hole sized little fuckers attached to a fist sized asshole in your abdomen you're predisposed to hormone imbalances so bad you fundamentally change as a person and get fucking worse. and drs dont listen to you when you tell them
1 note · View note
prettycottagequeer · 2 months
Text
ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
2K notes · View notes