#and the time they did spend together he used just to vent about his problems (understandable)
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lost signals & tunes — coriolanus snow
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
warnings: slight tbosas spoilers, angst, mentions of violence, injustice in the districts, possessive!snow, trauma, kinda mean!snow, talks of a breakup, arguments, standard ballad of songbirds and snakes warnings.
authors note: i’m back for round 3!!! i’m so happy that you all like this series so far as much as i do. here are the links to part 1 & 2, if you missed them. this one is sad and angsty, i’m sorry. the song y/n sings is by frank santra! anyways, i hope you enjoy this one! much love.
masterlist
Since your last real conversation with Coriolanus, he had been acting different. He was colder, and you didn’t know if you were simply going crazy, or if he just going out of his way to ignore you.
But regardless, you were hurt. When you tried to speak to him, he would say he had somewhere to be. And maybe he did, but you just wished he’d spend time with you.
You missed him, really.
Lucy Gray frowned as she watched you from across the room. You and the Covey were all getting ready backstage at the Hob where you were set to perform shortly. Even if you were cousins, you and Lucy Gray were brought up as sisters and knew the other probably better than you knew yourselves.
She watched you as you were deep in thought, and she knew something was troubling you. She walked over, and with a click of her tongue she gained your attention.
With a raise of her eyebrows you already knew what she was thinking. “Lucy Gray, please. Not right now,”
She raised her hands up in surrender, sitting down next to you on the couch. “I was just gonna ask what was wrong,”
“I’m sorry,” You sighed, rubbing your temple. “I’m stressed out,”
“Talk to me,” She softly smiled, her hand coming up to comfortably rub your shoulder.
“Coriolanus has just been acting weird, and I don’t know why. I think.. I think when we were at the lake I said something that he didn’t like, or something.” You vented. “Just ever since we got back, he’s been off. Or maybe I’m just delusional.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at yourself. “Christ, Gray, I’m loosin’ it.”
She giggled. “You got a bad case of the love blues, it sounds to me, Y/N.” She repeated the same thing your mothers used to say all the time when talking about past relationships.
A small smile blessed your features. “I think you may be on to somethin’.” You sighed, again. “I just wish he’d at least talk to me, y’know? Let me know whatever I’ve done, so I can fix it, or if he wants to break up just fuckin’ tell me. I hate when shit just lingers.”
“I know.” She shook her head. “Listen, if he doesn’t realize how damn good he’s got it, then he ain’t worth it. You know better. And I know you two got history and what not, but if he stressin’ you out so bad you can’t even enjoy a performance, I’d say ya need to talk to the boy.” She explained, shrugging. “Or leave his ass. You deserve better,”
You chuckled. “Only you, Lucy Gray, could manage to make me laugh while talking about my relationship problems.” You shook your head, playfully.
A smile came back to her face. “You know it, now, c’mon we got a show to play.” She stood up, holding her hand out for you to take.
She brought you over to the rest of the Covey, Issac immediately bringing you into a side hug.
“Aye, sis, you want me to kick that boy’s ass?” He asked, smiling goofy.
You laughed. “No, please.”
“Alright, alright.“ He shook his head. “Let’s go, folks!”
Once you all were out on stage, all of the struggles and worries wrestling around your mind faded, and a smile brightly displayed on your face as you sang along with your family. You didn’t even realize how fast it was going by because you were enjoying yourself.
Until you saw his smirk in that crowd.
You were scanning the crowd as normal, loving to see all of different people coming to together to enjoy music when you saw him. He was in the back of the room, alone, his arms crossed over his chest as he smirked at you.
His gaze almost made you feel uneasy, his sharp eyes boring into yours. Lucy Gray wrapped up one of her songs, turning on her heel and winking at you, her signal to let you know it was your turn on the mic.
You sighed before standing up, grabbing your guitar and walking up to the mic.
“Hey, twelve,” You smiled, looking at the crowd. “How y’all doin’ tonight, huh?” They all cheered in return, making your smile grow bigger. “That’s what I like to hear! Alright, here’s the song.”
Over and over, I keep goin’ over the world we knew.
You began, singing deeply and sharply into the mic, staring into Coriolanus’ eyes.
Once when you walked beside me,
That inconceivable, that unbelievable world we knew,
When we two were in love.
Your eyes burned into his as the rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving only you and him as you sang to him. He knew it was about him, most of your songs were.
And every bright neon sign turned into stars,
And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.
Each road that we took turned into gold,
But the dream was too much for you to hold.
Your voice boomed across the pub, the couples holding each other and the singles downing their shots in misery. You touched all their hearts with the song, somehow. His eyebrows furrowed as he truly listened to the lyrics, seeing how you wrote about your love and pain, and he wondered if it was still about him.
I mean, he hadn’t hurt you, right? He didn’t think him ignoring you for a week or two would push you this far.
Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.
Days when you used to love me.
Issac and Cece took over for the music break, as you turned to blink away the tears that threatened to spill.
And every bright neon sign turned into stars,
And the sun and the moon seemed to be ours.
Each road that we took, it turned into the gold,
But the dream was too much for you to hold.
The tears only got closer to dropping from your eyes as you kept singing, just trying to get through the song. You tried focusing on the beautiful music the Covey produced behind you and put your all into your singing.
Now, over and over I keep goin’ over the world we knew.
Days when you used to love me,
Over and over I keep goin’ over that world we knew.
You finished with one last strum of your guitar, and the melodies of Lucy Gray and Maudie Ivory next to you. The crowd erupted in cheers and claps.
“Thank you!” You smiled as the rest of your family joined you, bowing. After saying your goodbyes, you stalked off stage as fast as you could, ignoring the concerned gaze from Coriolanus.
“Your singing was beautiful, I love that song.” Lucy Gray said as she walked beside you. “But I do want to give that boy a stern talkin’ to for makin’ you feel that way.”
You grabbed her wrist. “No, Lucy. Let me talk to him.” She looked at you with raised brows, the pair of you exchanging words with your eyes. Eventually she nodded, stepping forward and letting you walk.
You walked through the corridor that led back out to the dance floor, your eyes looking for that familiar face. But it seemed to be that he found you before you could find him, the man already walking towards you.
You crossed your arms, turning on your heel to walk deeper into the corridor so no one would be around. You knew he’d follow, so you leaned against the wall, popping the gum in your mouth.
“There you are,” He called as he turned the corner, seeing you standing there. He walked over to stand in front of you. “Y/N, that song—”
“Cut the shit,” You cut him off. “What’s been goin’ on with you, Coriolanus?”
His eyebrows furrowed at your forwardness. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you avoidin’ me. You been actin’ weird since the lake, Coryo.” You sighed, pushing yourself off the wall to get eye to eye with the man before you. “If this is about what I said about runnin’ away..”
He rubbed his temple, staying silent.
“Coriolanus, do you expect me to enjoy life here? Watchin’ people get hung every other day, scared for my own damn life? My families lives?” You threw your arms out, scoffing. “Why would I want to stay?”
“Because of me!” He cut off your rant with a whisper yell. “I wanted you to want to stay, with me. Or.. come with me to the Capitol.”
“You know how I feel about that.”
“I know. And I wish I could change that.” He stepped forward a bit. “Because I don’t want to be away from you, Y/N.”
Your eyes softened. “Coryo, I don’t want to be away from you either. Hell, I’ve been thinkin’ about you for weeks just because you didn’t talk to me,” You bitterly laughed at your own foolishness. “But, look, if this is gon’ cause a problem between us, then maybe we should just call it off here, ‘cause even if it’ll hurt like hell, if we don’t got trust in each other then we got dirt.” You shrugged, even though the words you spoke felt like a dagger to the heart.
“No.” He shook his head immediately, his hands reaching out to grip your hips, almost seeming to make sure you wouldn’t run. “I’m not letting you go, no. Definitely not over this.”
“Then what do you want from me?” You asked, your eyes flickering between his. “You iced me out for 2 weeks because of what I said, then when I give you a solution, you say no?”
“Because that solution is us not being together.” He said, firmly. “That is the last thing I want. This whole thing started because I’m afraid of being away from you, Y/N.” He finally admitted.
You sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me that? We could’ve worked this out together.”
His hands slid up your body to cradle your face. “I was afraid. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean for this. I didn’t mean to hurt you,”
You looked down. “You scared me, you asshole. I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
He frowned, tapping softly on your cheek to get your attention back onto him. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I always want to be with you. We will figure this out, I promise you that. I.. I’m just not good with talking about things with people, y’know…”
A soft smile spread over your face. “Yeah, I know. Just.. talk to me next time, okay? I hate when we don’t talk.” You said, walking into his arms.
He sighed happily at the contact, nuzzling his face his your hair to inhale your scent. “I will, my love.” He sighed, pulling back and licking his lips. “That song, though, it was beautiful. What is it called?”
You continued to smile. “You didn’t figure it out? It’s called ‘The World We Knew’ and, before you even ask, yes, it’s about you.”
His smiled slowly faded. “I made you feel that way?”
You swallowed, your smile gone as well. “Coryo.. these past two weeks, I thought it was over between us. When I wrote that, I was trying to come to terms with it.”
“Well, now you know that we’ll forever be in that world we apparently knew.” He joked, making you giggle.
He leaned forward to place a loving kiss on your lips, causing you to moan against his lips. He pulled back at the noise, looking at you with a smirk. “I have just the idea to make it up to you,”
You laughed when you saw that glint in his eye, kissing him again. “Show me what you got, big boy.” 
#coriolanus my bae#coriolanus angst#coryo x reader#coriolanus x you#coryo snow#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbsoas#coryolanus snow#coriolanus snow fluff#corio snow#coriolanus imagine
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desired boyfriend: my success story
there's this guy i like. and guess what? he likes me back: here's my success story and how it happened.
what happened?
i'm specifically not going into details regarding our story, since it's a long one. there were multiple third parties involved, and i managed to manifest each one of them out of my sight. we had chemistry going on even before i decided to conciously manifest, and i only made our love bloom. everything is possible.
what helped me?
i kept on annoying my friends about him (and still do). i told them about how it looked in the 3D. i vented, but i also told them about how our good times looked like, and how i wanted them to look like - i kept this "balance". the best part was they listened and supported me thorough it all.
i affirmed a lot. i used subliminals and manifested, made sure to spend time with him and chat. i visualized - us both living together happily, us sharing happy memories, us hanging out. even when i wasn't conciously manifesting, i knew i was still doing that - we manifest all the time, no matter what, and my desire was to be his boyfriend. and so, it worked.
how long did it take?
actually, not so long. it was hard for me to understand at first, but as i learnt more about the 4D and law of assumption, i realized that i'm the only one who controls the outcome.
to sum it up, here are some tips from me:
surround yourself with positive people.
yes, this one may seem like something more fitting law of attraction, but having people's support helped me believe in my affirmations more. for me, affirming while having someone i can always come up to about a problem is easier; while having support. remember though that your current situation doesn't matter while manifesting, nor do emotions. this is simply what worked for me.
you don't have to constantly affirm.
you manifest regardless. i didn't always have time nor energy to conciously affirm. i had my desire in the back of my mind, and i continued to affirm subconciously. you can call it "taking a break" from affirming, but in reality, you affirm all the time; you manifest all the time. just think about what you want and here - you have it already. it's as simple as that.
try different methods.
there are a lot of different methods of manifesting. each one works and there are no rules to it. you may find it easier to manifest via scripting, and someone else will prefer subliminals. manifesting isn't hard, and the method you choose is only for your comfort.
the 3D isn't real.
remembering this fact definietely helps while manifesting. sometimes, we don't constantly see our results in the 3D, and that's only because we assume we don't - in short, try thinking about the 3D as your mind playing tricks on you. only you know what's real and what isn't, and whenever you will experience something unwanted, simply don't accept that. "it never happened", change the story to how you want it to go. did you lose your book? actually, you didn't, and you just found it. is there a third party involved? "they don't exist in my reality". is he not the version of him you want? change it then. manifest him to be the perfect boyfriend you could dream of. (of course, it applies to all genders.)
terminology: 3D, 4D, law of attraction, subliminal, affirming, visualizing, scripting
*the terminology will be updated with resources.
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Platonic Tf2 crew x reader who struggles with S/H. I totally understand if you don't take my request but I think it could be good for others who see's these characters as comfort characters.
Many thanks
-Springy
Gotta be honest, I've been slacking with asks but I felt like I needed to make this one cause:
1.) I relate to it, especially since I've been going in a downward spiral recently
2.) I can use this as a chance to talk about the Mercs and their mental health as well. Not only have some of them had such terrible childhoods, but also killing your doppelganger and dying constantly in a neverending cylce has gotta be absolutely damaging to their mental health, especially the first time they respawned
So yeah, this is gonna have a huge TW on it. So please proceed with caution. If this is something you aren't comfortable with reading, please don't. Take care of yourself. <3
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Mercs and (Platonic) Reader who Struggles with Self Harm
Scout:
-Now with Scout, he'd try to be a comforting person, but it's gonna be hella awkward.
-I full believe this poor thing has some self-esteem issues, so he'd very understanding in that aspect. But as for SH, that's where he's kinda lost. Why would his best friend wanna hurt themselves? Why do they feel the way they do about life and themselves when they're such a cool person who's put up with hum for so long?
-This would definitely be one of those times where he puts his ego away, removes the cocky facade, goes from Scout to Jeremy. A boy who grew up with no Father, bullied by his older brothers, and learned that the only way to get away from his problems is to run
-He may not be good at talking about his problems, or giving you advice, but he knows how to put a smile on your face. Scout would do everything in his power to make you smile and laugh.
-He would be wanting to spend more time together as a way to help you with SH. He views it as, "If I spend time with them and get their mind off everything, then they won't wanna hurt themselves" sort of thought. I had it but immediately forgot, I'm sorry :(
-But yeah, Scout's trying. He's not good with these thing but he would genuinely wanna help you. He knows life sucks and things aren't easy. But he wants the best for you and just wants you to be happy
Pyro:
-Now Pyro is interesting to me. I fully believe that they are one of the few Mercs who self-harms, but no one knows cause they never talk about it and are constantly wearing such thick and concealing clothes all the time, even in the worst of heatwaves. And even then, if they did show skin and showed some SH marks, no one would really be batting an eye, maybe Medic and Engie being the only exceptions
-So when you come to them for comfort, they would panic. They don't like that their friend is hurting themselves and they would be at a loss for words. The only thing they'd know what to do in the moment is give you a big hug, maybe even shed some tears with you
-After some time though, Py would open up about their own SH, they probably wouldn't be comfortable with showing their scars though. If you have any fresh injuries, they'd clean you up, being rather knowledgeable on first aid care
-They would let you vent out any and all frustrations. Trying to offer help when they can, even if some of it is concerning. Pyro knows better than any other Merc with what it's like to have such a deteriorating mental health, so they'd be very understanding of how you feel and such
-They'd probably wanna trying helping each other going SH-free. Words of encouragement, being there for each other when things get rough, setting milestones and giving gifts when those milestones are reach, etc.
-There would be some bumps in the road, but Py would be the most supportive friend ever. They want the best for you, no matter what. And maybe this is even the start of them being able to get the help they need and get better
Soldier:
-Now Solly is dense. He wouldn't grasp it at first. Like, you'd say it, he'd go "Huh?", and then as you're repeating yourself, it dawns on him what you said and he's immediately springing into action.
-He's definitely got some PTSD and paranoia. You've seen how he lives in the WAR comic, and in the main comic, you see how quick he is to snap necks, accuse people of being Commies, thinking that there's listening devices around, etc.
-So with him, I see him as someone who unintentionally suicidal? I don't know if those are the words I'm looking for. Like, he believes that his whole purpose in life is to fight for his country and die on the battlefield. I don't think he could handle dying any other way. Solly's ready to give up his life for his country, at any cost, no matter what
-He's kinda like Scout in the sense that he isn't the best at comforting. He is very good at giving motivational speeches and trying to hype you up. Though, he might sound mad at you for self-harming, he isn't. Yeah, he's upset, but he's not mad
-He'd make you go to Medic to have any wounds taken care of. He'd be like a loyal dog and stay by your side, ready to fight Medic if he asks a question that might make you uncomfortable
-He would have you come to him any time you feel like you're gonna hurt yourself so he can help take care of you. He'll get you anything and everything you want, no matter what. He wants to make you feel comfortable and safe. Hell, he'd even kill for you if asked, even if you're just his friend
-If he can't be available for you, he'd ask Demo to go check on you. Demo wouldn't know why though, he just thinks that Soldier wants to make sure you're okay. But he does trust that Demo would keep you safe when he can't be there
Demoman:
-Gonna be honest with ya, Demo would probably cry if you told him that you SH. He would feel so horrible and wouldn't know what to do other than to hand you some alcohol and drink your woes away
-Demo had a rough childhood, I don't think he had ever been able to accept the fact his bio parents were so quick to abandoned him and take him back one he start honing in on his demolition skills.
-I can see him as someone who has self-harmed before (if you don't count the alcoholism), but it was only when he was younger, like as a teen. Though, you can count the alcoholism as him self-harming, cause technically he's slowly killing himself that way. He's only gonna be a Merc for so long, and Medic can only do so much. So if being a Merc doesn't kill him, it's gonna be Cirrhosis of the liver that does
-So he'd be understanding of why you hurt youself. He'd let you tell him everything, being a listening ear and offering help and advice. Afterwards, he'd take you out to destress, whether it be hitting up the bars or blowing stuff up.
-He may be drunk almost all the time, but he knows how to give good advice. He's a master at comforting and his hugs are to die for. He'd drop everything he's doing to help you if you're having a bad mental health day. He WILL make sure you're okay. He'd even stay up all night with you if that's something you need
-And my last point in Soldier's applies here as well. If Demo can't be around when you need someone, then he sends Soldier to help fill in the void. He'd probably tell Solly to check on you and make sure you're safe from the Commies or something. But even then, he and Soldier are great friends and would help each other out no matter what, even if it's heelping another friend in need
Heavy:
-Heavy may not be good with his words (in English cause it really do be a struggle), but his actions make up for it. He's another merc who will get you anything and everything you want if it means making you feel better
-If anyone knows what it's like to have a rough life, it's Heavy. Growing up in a prison cause of his Father speaking out against the government, losing said Father, having to become the man out the house at such a young age, and taking such a dangerous job overseas to help support his Mother and sisters. He knows how rough it can be
-Homie know how to be there for a person. Though, he might ask Medic for help on this situation cause he's never been one to SH so this is new territory for him. But he's trying his best though!
-I don't have much to say for Heavy. He's more of an action person rather than a word person. He's fine with even just sitting in silence and reading if that's what you want. He truly does want the best for you, even if he doesn't show it
Engineer:
-He's such a dad friend. For real for real. Where was this man when I was a child?
-He helps Pyro through their episodes so he's very much ready to help you. If you have a specifc way you like to be comforted, he's right there to help. If you need to vent, he'll take you somewhere private so you don't have to worry about prying ears
-Now with Engie, I'd say he has a decent upbringing. I don't think he'd be one to SH either. even though he literally cut his own hand off... But he really is one of the more "sane" Mercs. So while he has never SH, he know that there's reasons people do it and how to help them through it
-Plus have you heard his voice?! It's as sweet as honey. So imagine him conforting you with that voice of his! Telling you how you're such an amazing person, how things will get better, and how he'll always be there for you. For real, I'm an Engie and Sniper voice defender til the end!
-Again, in my very biased opinion, he is the BEST, MOST PERFECT person to go to for help/comfort. You know that if he can help Pyro, he can help you. He's the perfect person ever, platonically and/or romantically
Medic:
-Immediately goes into doctor mode. Checking you're wounds, cleaning up any fresh one, asking about what is causing you to do this to yourself. It's all clinically at first
-If you need any anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds, he'll give them to you, though it will be under his supervision cause he wants to make sure you're safe. Don't ask how he got them. Just trust him
-Medic is another Merc who's had it rough. He is very well aquainted with SH. Though I also do see him doing it for sexual reasons but I ain't gonna get into it. Let's just say that Medigun comes in handy quite a bit.
-He'll become more observant with you. Paying attention to even the littlest of details. He'll become more observant during routine checkups, making sure you aren't hurting yourself. But if you do, he'll patch you up and tell you it's okay.
-He may be a mentally unstable man who will put a baboon uterus in you for his own "research" (making mpreg real) but he does mean well and will want the best for you. He'll even let you take your anger and frustrations out on a cadaver if it means you not hurting yourself
-Homie's got his doves ready to help comfort you as well. They're his emotional support animals :D
-This goes for all the support class, they're all good people to go to if it's late at night and you need someone to go to. None of them know what a normal sleep schedule is so they're perfect to go to and just hang out with them, talking or not
Sniper:
-Poor thing would feel for bad when he finds out you SH. He wouldn't even know what to say at first. Offering an awkward pat on the shoulder and to hang out in his camper
-You gotta give the poor thing time to digest all this info. He's also one that's not good with words. He'll tell you that it's gonna be okay. He'll try to help and offer some advice. But again, he's very unsure of what to do and say in this situation. He doesn't wanna make things worse or have you angry at him
-Poor baby was such an outcast his whole life. He may claim that he's used to the isolation, but god when those moments of loneliness hit, it hurts. So he definitely knows what it feels like to be lonely.
-But as for SH, that's where he's kinda lost. I don't think he's ever been one to SH. I just ain't really seeing it, to be honest. You might need to help him understand it all. Once he knows what to do to help, he's a very helpful friend
-He's always available to be there for you. You wouldn't have to say anything to him for him to know why you're there. Whether it be in his camper or his nest. It's not hard to find him
-He'll take you out on a little getaway if you want. Sometimes you just gotta get away from everything, and he's more than willing to help you with that
Spy:
-I'd say Spy is by far one of the most understanding in this scenario
-I've said it in my SWF alphabet with him, he SHs, whether he still actively does it or not, I'll leave it up to you. He's very knowledgeable in this area of life. He might show you some of his scars if he feels comfortable enough
-Definitely someone who had a rough upbringing as well. I see him as someone who grew up poor with parents who could care less for him. It is still something that effects him.
-Usually he takes the stress away with chain-smoking and drinking. Yeah, he knows he shouldn't, but with how long he's been doing it, he'd rather not deal with the withdrawls and such.
-He's good at being a listening ear and giving some solid advice. Being his age, he's been through quite a lot. He's rather surprising with how he handles the situation. He'll let you hide away in his smoking room and drown your sorrows away with some alcohol.
-Don't expect any sort of physical comfort from him. He doesn't like being so touchy with people. Just please don't touch him, okay? Okay
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 x reader#tf2 scout#tf2 scout x reader#tf2 pyro#tf2 pyro x reader#tf2 soldier#tf2 soldier x reader#tf2 demoman#tf2 demoman x reader#tf2 heavy#tf2 heavy x reader#tf2 engineer#tf2 engineer x reader#tf2 medic#tf2 medic x reader#tf2 sniper#tf2 sniper x reader#tf2 spy#tf2 spy x reader#tw self harm#tw sh
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Hello! I don't know if this is where I'm supposed to ask... About your Villain's day off post, I don't see any with that character so.. Could you please write fluff hurt with comfort for a female reader with Carpaccio Luo Yang pretty please? 🥹
Curse Cupid and win a date
Carpaccio Luo-Yang x Fem Reader
Request made by Anon, I hope you like it and I'm sorry for the delay
Not to mention that this was my third request about Carpaccio, he is gaining a lot of fans hehehe~
I was really inspired by this one, maybe reading stories about boyfriends and your best friends on Reddit helped...
Genre: Hurt from ComfortWarning: Swearing (Just once), bad boyfriends
Summary: (Name) wanted to go on a Valentine's Day date with her boyfriend, but it seems like he would rather spend time with his friend making her decide to break up, so she went crying about her terrible romantic life, but it seems like someone it was there... But don't worry!!! He asks her out!
It was supposed to be a perfect day....
Today was Valentine's Day and (Name) wanted to spend time with her boyfriend on a very romantic day!
But.....He was busy....with his best girl friend....
Apparently they have a ritual of spending Valentine's Day together and they do it to the letter.
And it seems that even though he has a girlfriend he PREFERS TO SPEND VALENTINE'S DAY WITH A FRIEND, VALENTINE'S DAY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT BOYFRIENDS AND NOT FRIENDS IF YOU WERE TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FRIEND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON BEST FRIEND'S DAY *ahem* (Name) couldn't believe it
And of course she is not a girlfriend that prevents her boyfriend from having female friends or even a female best friend if he himself understands that his girlfriend is a priority.
But the problem was that he put his best friend first in everything.
Do we have a date at the amusement park? Let me call my friend since she's sad. Is there an item that (Name) really wants? I'm going to buy it for my friend since she deserves it. Shall we go shopping? Let him call her to accompany him and blah, blah, blah
(Name) couldn't take this anymore and to make matters worse, every time she vented about it he responded
"You're just being very dramatic" He says while staring at you with disdain
Here was (Name) and his boyfriend in an Easton hallway
(Name) wanted to spend Valentine's Day with her boyfriend but he was busy with her best friend, again...
And when she went to complain, he just says this
"Now if you leave me alone, I'll go see Amy" He says as he turns his back to (Name)
"If you're going out with her today, we're done!" (Name) says angrily as she sees her boyfriend stop
Maybe he would change his mind-
"Don't be like that, I'll take you on a date later" And that's all he says without turning to her and leaves
'Forget it...he hasn't changed his mind...' (Name) thinks about staring at her now ex-boyfriend
"We're done!!!" (Name) screams at the top of her lungs to make the whole school hear her and so she turns around and runs away trying to hold back her tears
And now here was (Name) crouched in a place forgotten by the students crying on her knees as she remembered the past events
She was a mess, there was a lot of crying that perhaps could fill a river, there was snot and snot that came down from her nose and went into her mouth making her spit and cough to get it out.
She looked like a crybaby only a thousand times worse
Suddenly (Name) lifts her head from her knees and faces the sky and tries to catch her breath.
"CUPID I HATE YOU!!!!" (Name) scream as soon as she catches her breath and continues to cry
"*SNIF* ARE YOU SHOVING THOSE ARROWS WHERE THE FUCK? *SNIF* DID YOU KILL YOURSELF OR SOMETHING?!?! *COUGH*" (Name) continues while trying to get the phlegm and snot out of his mouth "YOU USED YOUR ARROWS TO DID YOU KILL YOURSELF?!?!? *SNIF* *COUGH* *COUGH* *SNIF* AHHHHHHHJHH" (Name) still didn't realize that someone was getting close to her
"...(Name)....?" An unknown male voice appears causing the (h/c) girl to turn her head that could overcome the speed of light
Standing in the flesh was Carpaccio Luo-Yang with an expression that could resemble surprise as he stared at (Name)'s shrunken, crying form.
This was the worst thing that could happen to (Name), a close friend, facing her in her vulnerable state.
Suddenly the surprised expression changes to seriousness as soon as he sees (Name)'s condition.
"What happened...?" Carpaccio says in an angry tone as his face deepens into a frown.
(Name) trembles when she hears that tone of voice coming from him, and of course she's seen him angry about other things but this was completely different
It seemed like he was going to do something much worse than death to the point where his victim was begging to die.
"(Name)..." His face is suddenly closer to hers, making her jump in surprise and fear so she is a little bit away from him
Carpaccio didn't seem to like this little distance but he didn't say anything and continued to stare at her, wanting an answer.
"I....I broke up with him....." (Name) finally says something that surprises Carpaccio by the fact that she is single
"But why did you break up with him on Valentine's Day?" Carpaccio asks as he tilts his head to the side
If it weren't for the moment she would tease him by calling him kitten
"He was an asshole the whole time so I decided I wasn't going to accept it anymore and I broke up with him" (Name) summarizes
Carpaccio knew that (Name) wouldn't delve deeper into this subject so he decided to accept it
"And you're crying....because of him?" Carpaccio says as he pats (Name) on the back
"And I was going to cry for a man?!?!?" (Name) scream in disbelief and stare at Carpaccio with eyes that looked like he said the stupidest thing on the entire planet
Carpaccio is surprised by the repeated scream and looks at him with confusion.
(Name) realizing that Carpaccio only asked out of caution for their feelings to feel bad about yelling at him
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scream..." (Name) says as she sighs and puts her face on her knees, hiding her expression from Carpaccio
"It's just that... my relationships never work out, you know" She says in a sad voice without showing her face to Carpaccio "Every time I'm in a relationship something always happens and I realize that I've deluded myself once again. Like me I know that people have lives, friends and family outside of relationships, but it seems that people forget that their girlfriend is a priority, that I am a priority when we date, but every time I vent or try to talk about it, I always It would be dramatic, petty, I'm creating things, they always seem to want to make me the villain?!?" She raises her face and faces Carpaccio and then she raises her hands dramatically
"....But I don't want to be the villain...I just want someone to love me, respect me and understand my feelings or at least try to understand" (Name) continues as she lowers her hands and looks at the ground with sadness "I just want someone who every time I explain that I feel uncomfortable with something or someone and I tell them, they don't get angry and at least put some boundaries with the person and explain why they are so close to it , I don't want them to end a friendship of years unless it's necessary for their health.... but I want them to set limits.... Is that too much to ask?" (Name) says then she decides to stop staring at the ground and look at Carpaccio with sad and frustrated eyes because of this
Carpaccio was surprised by (Name)'s look, he didn't like it
He didn't like it when (Name) was sad because of something, some might know (Name) as someone who liked to get attention, but she wasn't like that at all, (Name) was a sweet person, always trying to make everyone's day. others are amazing, he saw it first hand
"I don't consider you the villain" Suddenly Carpaccio says as he takes his hand and strokes (Name)'s hair, surprising her "For me you will never be a villain, even if you are one I wouldn't mind, you are a kind person who You enchanted me from our first meeting and after that day I could never even stop thinking about you, I often spent days without sleeping or eating properly just because I tried to find the reason why you were so captivating and without realizing it I started to get closer of you but I never found the answer until I realized that it was love and admiration for you that I felt" Carpaccio declares while bringing his forehead closer to (Name) without breaking eye contact
"And because of this love I felt also came the pain of seeing you cry or sad for something or someone who doesn't deserve your sadness, this made me realize why others fear love, because of the possibility of having a broken heart something I've never had" Carpaccio says, closing his eyes and then with his other hand holding (Name)'s hand gently, this act was making her blush even more along with the declaration of love "That's why I'm going to be honest with you.. ." Suddenly he moves away from (Name) without letting go of her hand and then he opens his eyes and looks at her
"Would you agree to go on a date with me?" He asks the question
(Name) was speechless... she didn't know how to react to this confession of love she received from her friend
That was a surprise in itself, one of the most beautiful boys at the academy declaring herself in a place forgotten by students and teachers at a bad time in her life.
"Carpaccio...." (Name) says "I'll be honest with you, I don't consider myself ready for a relationship at the moment" She says while still looking at Carpaccio for an answer
Carpaccio seems to shrink sadly but doesn't seem to admit it
"However, I want to be able to be prepared to have a relationship with you" She continues surprising Carpaccio "Even if you have always maintained a neutral expression or consider the people around you weak, I can still see a sweet side of you. For I know we can work this out, I don't know how but I feel like we can, but at the moment I'm not ready to have a relationship because it's already ended and it would be weird to start seeing someone after it ends" (Name) speak while Carpaccio has to agree with the last part "Not to mention we don't really know each other's preferences, and I don't want us to be in a relationship just for fun, I want it to be real!" She exclaim
"That's why I want to go on a date and get to know you better" (Name) finishes, surprising Carpaccio
".... So that's a yes to going out with me?" He asks, trying his best to hide his excitement.
"Yes!!" She exclaims with confidence
Carpaccio didn't seem to express it but his atmosphere showed that he was very happy that it could work, if he had a tail it would probably be swinging at a speed that exceeded the speed of light
(Name) couldn't help but laugh at the scene "Hey, so let's go on the date?" She asks as she stands up and faces Carpaccio, still sitting, then she extends her hand to him.
Carpaccio willingly takes her hand and gets up so they both leave the place ready to meet.
#mashle#mashle magic and muscles#mashle x reader#mashle x you#Carpaccio Luo-Yang x fem reader#mashle x fem reader#fem reader#mashle carpaccio luo-yang#mashle carpaccio
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I'm a jikooker and I'm done with the narrative change few bloggers here are doing remarks bday because somehow Jimin couldn't meet JK on his bday and they don't wanna accept that. It's exhausting af. Bloggers especially Kanmom already said JK was busy ON THE day of his bday and Mingyu may have met him at company..now that JK already confirmed he didn't went to work and was lying all day, they are changing their narrative to JK being busy on 31st, which he was and Mingyu went to meet him at home. In both cases according to what Jimin said its crystal clear he didn't saw JK on his bday and WHY ARE WE NOT ACCEPTING IT ???? ok, he used to meet JK for all his previous bdays and ? Does that make Jimin not meeting JK for his 2023 bdah impossible? NOPE.
If he saw JK he would've said i saw him yesterday/today (LIKE HE SAID HE COULDN'T MEET JOON FOR HIS LAST BDAY SO HE DOESNT HAVE ANY PROBLEM IN SHARING WHETHER HE MET OR DIDNT MET MEMBERS FOR THEIR BDAYS). But that didn't happened, He spoke to JK on 31st night and that's it, accept it already. Twitter jikookers already accepted it while bloggers here are still writing essays on how Jimin met JK, when we have ZERO evidence. Is Jm meeting JK for bday, the reason yall believe in Jikook? Now if one day JK come live and say he didn't saw Jimin, then what ? Will they change their narratives again???? "Oh I don't see my partner on bday either" "it's not that deep for long term relationship" they will say, as if now they are not dying on the hill to prove Jimin saw JK 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Can I ask why tf this is so important ? I haven't seen Jkkrs being this invested in what JK does for Jimin's bday. Some years he didn't even wished jimin on sm let alone seeing or giving him gifts..so why is it only Jimin held to a high standards ? In 2021 bday live he said his gift is being shipped and Jimin immediately called out for saying things on cam but not actually gifting him anything. Please stop this clownery when we don't have any evidence in Jimin meeting JK on 1st. If anything, as of now it seems like all Jimin did was to call JK on 31st. And that's OK
My question is why the fuck are you so damn angry?? Also you are venting to the wrong blogger 😂😂 because Jikook did see each other and spend time together during JK's birthday. Out of the 30% of what members tell us, they are leaving out 70%
Mans had just dropped one hell of a loud picture then went live on JK's birthday after setting his watch to Jungkook day. I won't hold it against him for not adding spending time with JK ontop of that. It would have been alot. And unfortunately we don't have a Jin to go quiz JK about who did or didn't visit him.
Sorry anon, but I am among the bloggers you are frustrated with. From my knowledge of Jikook, they wouldn't miss each other's birthdays especially since they were both in Seoul during it.
IF JK or Jimin one day come out and say that they weren't together then fine. But as it stands I'm afraid I believe, they kept up their tradition.
Sorry to disappoint
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Ghost B.C Kinktober:
October 3rd 🎃🔞
Prompt: Monster AU
Warnings: Siren song attraction; Dom!Rain; virgin(reader); friends to lovers; oral (f receiving); fingering; delayed penetration (sequel chapter down the line??? I think so).
Rain
Fem!Reader
🔞 MDNI 🔞
Word Count: 2,189
The ministry had a very secluded spot. A very beautiful spot. A spot that only you and Rain knew about. You had had a very hard day in particular, and decided to go to this secluded spot to unwind.
The secluded spot was yours and Rain’s haven. The two of you would often come to this place and spill all of your problems out to one another to vent, spend time together, and create an everlasting friendship with the man who means the most to you.
You have always had feelings for Rain, that would never change. You were too much of a coward to tell him how you felt, and you knew Rain was too shy to tell you how he felt. You weren’t stupid— you knew you had Rain wrapped around your little finger just as much as he had you wrapped around his.
You had gone to this secret place today alone, and you hadn’t anticipated Rain to be there already when you pushed past the hanging vines that blocked the walkway. As you dipped further into the safe haven from the ministry, something caught your eye.
In yours and Rain’s space, there was a lovely pond, untouched by humanity. The two of you would often go swimming after hard days of practice with the ministry’s band, Ghost. The water would always soothe your over-used muscles. In this pond however, you saw someone, or something that you didn’t recognize.
“How did you find this place?” you hissed while walking up to the unknown creature… which was when you realized the ‘person’ you were talking to wasn’t a person at all.
The moon illuminated down into the water, and you began shaking from fear. There was some kind of aquatic monster swimming in your pond… a siren!
You backed away, a small scream leaving your mouth as the creature frantically tried to climb on shore, “(Y/N)! Calm down! I won’t hurt you, I promise! It’s Rain!”
You felt the creatures claws grip your arm as it struggled to climb on land. Another scream left your mouth as blood began to cloud your vision.
‘This was it!’ your mind was telling you, ‘This is where I die!’
“It’s Rain,” the creature said with a calmer tone as it noticed how deathly afraid of it I was, “(Y/N), listen to me. I’m Rain. I won’t hurt you.”
That was when you noticed how gentle the siren was being while holding your arm. It’s claws weren’t digging into your skin; forcing you to stay. It’s touch was loving.
“R-Rain?” you asked slowly while looking up into the siren’s eyes, “What do you mean you’re Rain? Rain is my best friend. He would tell me if he was a… a monster! This is one of your siren song tricks to get me to stay with you!”
Your fear enveloped into anger as you yanked your arm from the apparent Rain’s hands while backing away.
“(Y/N),” the beast said while taking a cautious step backwards, “I know things about you that someone who had never spoken to you before wouldn’t know. I know you love to make me flower crowns when we sit here on nice summer days. I know your most favourite food is fried eggs with toast, but only if it’s me who’s cooked them for you. You hate eggs otherwise.”
He takes a deep breath and continues. For some reason, you’re beginning to believe him.
“I know, although you’re a demon from Hell, you’re terribly afraid of the dark. I know you love to listen to classical music while you do house chores. I also know I won’t be able to live with myself if you walk away from me right now. Please, (Y/N). Believe me.”
Tears pooled in your eyes as you took a step closer to the siren… to Rain. Your hand reached out and touched his scaly cheek; him leaning into the touch.
“You should also know how much I love you,” you whispered while wrapping him into a hug, “Why didn’t you tell me about this? You know I would still be your friend and love you all the same.”
Rain shuddered as a sob threatened to leave his mouth. You shushed him and pressed a reassuring kiss to his cheek.
“You’re so important to me,” the water ghoul whispered while slowly leaving the hug, “I couldn’t risk losing our friendship. I was worried you wouldn’t understand my transformations. If I could control them, I would. I’m so sorry.”
You sighed lovingly and pressed your lips against his. You didn’t expect yourself to do something like this, but you knew Rain needed you right now.
“Please don’t apologize,” you whispered while wrapping your arms around his neck, “You’re still my Rain.”
His scaly arms cupped your face and suddenly kissed you. You squeaked from surprise, but you didn’t struggle. You drifted deeper into the kiss; your eyes fluttering closed as you felt the water ghoul begin to ravenously make love to your lips.
“I’m so pleased that my secret won’t ruin our friendship,” the man whispered while sinking back down into the fresh, clean pond. His hand was clasped to yours as he carefully brought you into the water with him.
Rain looked elegant as he was fully submerged in water. His scales glowed brightly against the water which caused a smile to flow to your lips.
You held your arms out to him and motioned for him to come over to you. He did as requested; splashing over and into your arms.
“I meant what I said earlier, you know? About how I love you,” you whispered while pressing your lips to Rain’s once more, “This whole siren thing has made me realize it, and it made me realize how much I love you no matter what you are or what you do. Rain, please love me the way I want to love you.”
The siren grinned a fanged smirk and pressed his lips hungrily to yours, “I’ve always loved you, (Y/N). I can’t put into words how much you mean to me, and how much it means to me that you love me back… that you love me for who I am.”
Rain’s webbed hands made their way up and under your soaked shirt. Your eyes filled with nervousness as he did this, which caused the water ghoul to hesitate.
“Is this okay?” he asked carefully while removing his hands from your shirt.
You inhaled slightly, took a few seconds, then nodded, “Of course, Rain. I’ve… Ive just never done anything like this before.”
Shock and disbelief washed over Rain’s face as he registered what you were insinuated, “You’re a virgin?” he whispered as a small smile rose to his lips.
You blushed from embarrassment, “Yes. I’ve never met anyone who I was willing to give something as special as my purity to. That is, until I met you.”
Now it was the siren’s turn to blush. His scaly hands returned to your stomach as he rubbed your soft skin carefully.
“I’ll take good care of you, princess.”
You knew he would. The water ghoul slowly began allowing his hands to head under your shirt; his fingers grazing lovingly against your soft skin before settling firmly against your breasts.
You squeaked suddenly at the new sensations that were flowing through you. Rain’s careful fingers were softly massaging your hardening nipples; his teeth softly nibbling against your skin as goosebumps began to appear.
Although you were submerged in the pond up to your chest, you could feel yourself getting wet. It wasn’t just the pond water— it was arousal.
“R-Rain,” you whispered while kissing down his jawline. You were a little embarrassed to ask Rain this impending question.
The ghoul cupped your face lovingly; his amber eyes gazing into yours, “Yes, my love?”
A blush appeared on your cheeks at the pet name. You nervously grabbed Rain’s hand, suddenly bashful. You cleared your throat, “Is it bad to say that I really want you right now. I want everything of yours.”
Your eyes pointed down at his soaked pants. You wanted his everything. His love, and ultimately, his cock.
A devious smile appeared on Rain’s lips as he realized what you meant. The ghoul nodded and kissed you deeply, “There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m absolutely honoured you’re willing to allow me to be your first time.”
Rain gripped your hand lovingly and began leading you towards the shore. You were confused by this for a moment, that was until you realized his intentions. The ghoul was eyeing a flat rock on the shore; the perfect place to breed someone who can’t breathe underwater, unlike himself.
“The rock should be warm. The sun just sat,” Rain whispered quietly while helping you sit up on the rock, “It won’t be too cold on your bare skin.”
You pressed your lips to Rain’s once more. He was truly the sweetest man; always worried about your comfort levels.
“Thank you, sweetheart. This is perfect.”
Without another word, you slowly began to slip your soaked t-shirt over your head. Rain’s eyes bulged out of his head as he saw your hardening nipples through the soaked fabric of your bra. The eager ghoul began pawing at his sex from underneath the water.
“You’re so perfect. So gorgeous.”
You blushed wildly while removing your bra. Rain quickly swam over and began attacking your breasts with loving kissed, bites, and sucks.
You let Rain completely take control. You’d never seen this side of the ghoul before, and you actually enjoyed it. Rain was usually shy and rarely even spoke. There was no way you could’ve ever guessed that Rain would be as dominant and confident in himself as he actually was.
“S-Shit,” you mumbled out while beginning to lay down on the rock; the siren climbing up to meet you as you did so.
His sharpened fangs began to draw a little blood from your sensitive breasts, but you didn’t mind. This actually made the whole act all that sexier.
As Rain continued to kiss and pleasure your breasts, one of his scaled hands made their way down and into your pants.
You hissed in pleasure as one of his webbed hands gracefully brushed your swollen clit; a hand going up to your mouth to silence yourself.
“Feels good?” Rain questioned against your supple skin as he continued to pleasure your clit and breasts both.
You mumbled incoherently into your hand that covered your mouth. Rain just snickered, knowing that was a ‘yes.’
You began to feel a slight pain in your abdomen; an unorthodox pain. It was pleasurable and painful.
Rain smirked in understanding as saw your face begin to contort into multiple different emotions. He decided to speed up the process as he realized you were about to experience your first orgasm from another person.
His webbed fingers dipped into your willing pussy and turned up, causing a scream of pleasure to leave your covered mouth. The siren giggled against your tits as his tongue flicked eagerly over your hard nipple.
“You’re so tight around my fingers, baby. I don’t know if you could handle my cock just yet.”
You groaned in annoyance at that, “I could absolutely take you.”
As you began to talk back, the siren added another finger into your swollen sex, causing your eyes to roll into the back of your head. He then began to thrust his fingers rhythmically into your cunt,
“Don’t talk back to me. I know what’s best for my princess.”
You just nodded your head as wave after wave of pleasure wracked your body. Rain had his pointer, middle, and ring finger inside of your swollen sex. He continued to pump them eagerly inside of you as his thumb made its way up to your clit. He multitasked between massaging your eager clit and thrusting inside of you.
“F-F-Fuck!” you hissed, slamming your eyes shut from Rain’s incredible power over you. You were putty when you were with the ghoul, and he knew it.
“Cum for me, baby,” he hissed while bringing his lips back to yours, “I want to make you feel good. Cum for me.”
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as the siren gave you permission to experience an orgasm. It was heavenly. Your whole body shook from head to toe, as if all of the muscles in your body decided to seize all at once.
A loud, pornographic moan left your swollen lips. Rain immediately placed his fanged mouth over yours; absorbing your screams into his mouth.
As you came down from your high, Rain couldn’t help but lick your slick off his hands in a very slow, seductive manner; his eyes never leaving yours.
“That was amazing,” you whispered while bringing your lips to his. You could taste your juices on his lips, which made everything so much hotter.
Rain smiled softly and laid down on the rock beside you, “I’m glad you enjoyed, princess. Next time we meet, you get to pleasure me. You had your fun.”
You giggled and curled up into his side, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Fine by me. I’m getting your cock inside of me next time. There’s no debate.”
“I won’t argue with that.”
#fanfic#fanfiction#oc#oneshot#one shot#smut#kinktober#ghost#ghost band#kinktober2023#rain ghoul#rain ghost#ghost smut#ghost band smut#rain ghoul smut#monster au#siren song#siren#monster smut#rain ghost smut
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More venting, sowry. Actually embarassing to be doing this with this pfp, bye. Interact (like button) if you read.
Trauma, grief, sui threats, animal harm, abuse (not going to label it. Just assume it's in there). This is kinda long. It's honestly just a trauma dump but I'm just tired of holding it inside. Anyways.
Hiiiiii i'm so fucking stressed ^-^ Re: the situation with my dadddd. ^-^
Uragh. There was a huge argument last night. It's very harrowing living in this house. One day, you spend 2 hours talking someone through "dude this is literally wrong" and they're just... Chipper. Smiling into the phone, "uh, yeah. I know? Why do you think I did it?"
They detail to you exactly how much they want another person to hurt, to suffer, over a slight against them. Over "disrespect." You spend careful effort not to tell them how their actions made the other person cry, in case they find sick satisfaction in that. You listen to them detail the way they feel absolutely no remorse because they are incapable of such remorse. They only cry when recounting their own pain. They never cry for another. When another person cries that's sport, that's "games."
And a few days later, he's smiling asking you how you're doing. And everyone else is "trying" with him. I don't blame them, it's self protection.
Honestly. I think part of the problem here is that I'm just describing This week. Instead of a lifetime. You know?
Because I've sat through my dad telling me how people are pawns. Faceless. I've watched him boast with glee about how manipulative he is, how he wears the title "master manipulator" with pride. How he's the smartest person, how he's above everyone else. Don't mistake this as praise for him. In one of the hundreds of times he's talked to me about this he got six times seven wrong.
But anyways. I've seen how his face morphs into a smile slowly, crawling up his face as he gets me upset.
I'll give an example. One of the many times he basically tried to kill himself in front of us or said he was going to, he explained that the reason why is because he's personally experienced grief, and that's why he chose to do it as a punishment. Specifically so that we could feel the overwhelming experience of pain and anguish. He likes that kind of shit. Makes him feel all vindicated, ya know?
But he provides for us, cuz he cares about us or whatever. I mean, we're "extensions of him and he owns us" and all, if I'm being cynical; but he definitely is capable of love. At least, love the emotion, not the action. The problem lies in that he is physically incapable of feeling empathy, remorse, or guilt. Not having empathy itself is fine, by the way, like tons of people don't have empathy and are perfectly chill people but the problem lies in that he really doesn't have that "off" switch to stop him from doing sadistic things. It's a really bad combination.
I mean I guess there's fear. Of god, of being a bad person, of being like his father. I honestly don't know what's holding him together at this point.
It's just... A lot. Dealing with someone like this as your dad. But things are "better" now. Right? He just terrorizes mom now. He just picks fights now. It's not like "before." When he threatened to slice my pet rabbit up. When he threatened to [redacted] me. When he did something to me I don't want to talk about that I read is actually a war crime. Torture. You know? Stuff like that.
I feel... So much disgust in my body. I feel so much rage and shame. I don't even know why I'm posting this. But anyways.
It'd be an insult to call this "my story" or whatevs because it's nothing like that. I'm just... Tired. I thought I'd be happier not talking about what happened but I'm not. I probably won't feel any happier saying this either. But who knows.
I haven't been able to do my schoolwork. I'm supposed to get it done by tomorrow. I have to leave wednesday for my trip. Haven't done shit all day.
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Superstar (Part 2)
Superstar
Pairing: Rooster x f!reader, (blink and you'll miss it, unrequited) Hangman x f!reader
Warnings: ANGST, good ending promise
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 19.7k (holy sh*t)
Summary: “I’m no one special, just another wide eyed girl, who's desperately in love with you.”
OR
Rooster is sure he's in love with this girl. Only problem is, he's never seen or face or know her name
No use of y/n
Based of off Superstar (Taylor's version) by Taylor Swift
Author's Note: See part 1 for my full notes about this piece. Here's Part 2!
You thought having a completely virtual relationship with Bradley was probably one of the most unlikely things that could’ve happened to you but so was being sorta friends with Hangman.
You just gave clearance to Rooster, Hangman, and Phoenix who was with Bob. They were running a simulation course that had to be achieved under 2 minutes and the pilots were taking their time to get into position.
Rooster was currently not connected to you as he was talking to Bob and Phoenix about the logistics of the exercise. Leaving you on comms with Hangman.
You texted rather frequently. Obviously not to the same degree as you and Rooster but he was quickly becoming one of your best friends.
Behind that cocky facade was actually a very funny and thoughtful friend. He let you vent about the frustrations of your situation with Rooster, and he forced you to go out a few times a week to build up your confidence and actually make friends.
It was really nice to have a friend because prior to Hangman, no knew about your Bradley situation, and it was a relief to finally have someone who knew and didn't judge you for it.
“What time did you and Bradshaw go to sleep last night?” Hangman asked.
“Despite your assumptions Hangman, we don’t spend ALL night talking to each other.” You retorted with a huff.
“Ahh, so after 1 again” He chuckled.
Curse him for being right.
“I’m not talking to you about this Jacob.” You reply with a pout
“So I was right!” He laughed in amusement.
Before you could reply, Rooster interrupted with an irritated tone.
“Hey, who said you can talk to my girl Hangman? Get into position, I’ll be there in a sec.” Rooster said gruffly.
“Only because you make it too easy Rooster, see you up there. And I’ll talk to YOU later ATC.” Jake chuckled, smugness dripping from his voice, before he went radio silent.
“Your girl huh?” You said softly, your voice now missing the joking tone it held just moments before.
“Was he flirting with you? Why am I even asking, its Hangman, of course he was flirting with you.” You could hear the pout in his voice.
You giggled at his unfounded jealousy.
“He wasn’t, I promise, we were just joking around.”
“And even if he was, you know I only have eyes for you” You tell him with a smile.
“Promise Cloud?”
“Promise Brad Brad.”
——————————————————————————————-
You were seated in the Hard Deck with Laura, Lia, and Sara. Finally being considered a part of the group. You were sipping your drinks and laughing about the usual Navy antics that you all saw this week.
You pulled your phone out of your pocket to see no text from Rooster. This was a continuing trend starting earlier today after they landed post exercise. This was strange because Bradley, without fail, always texted you after he’d gotten out of his F-18 and returned to the pilot lounge.
You were of course worried about him, he was not the type to just disappear without saying anything. Even now, you look across the bar to the dagger squad only to see that Bradley was not with them. You made eye contact with Jake and sent him a questioning look only for him to shrug at you and started tying on his phone.
Jacob S: Before you ask, I haven’t seen him either.
You: Don’t you all usually leave together?
Jacob S: Yeah usually, but he was held up today
You: By what?
Before Hangman could reply to you, you saw the undeniable view of Rooster strutting into the Hard Deck, but he was not alone.
He had a girl under his arm, she was tall, and built like a supermodel with dark hair and piercing green eyes that you can clearly see the color of even from across the room.
You felt a weight the size of a bowling settle in your stomach. Who was she?
“Thats Amanda Sharp.” Sara explained, breaking you out of your thoughts.
“Call sign Rumor.”
“Apparently she is one of the best WSOs in the game, well of course behind Bob, Fanboy, and Halo.” She continued.
“Why is she here?” Lia asked the question you were thinking.
“This is not confirmed yet, but apparently she was called back to be Rooster’s back seater for a highly classified mission.”
That covered the basis of who she was but another question was sitting on your brain. Who was she to Bradley?
“Ladies.” Jake showed up out of nowhere at your table.
“Do you mind if I borrow your friend for a moment?” He asked with his signature smirk pointing to you.
“Of Course Lieutenant Commander.” Laura replied with soft sigh obviously affected by his charm.
“Thank you I appreciate it.” He added before he led you to a corner of the bar that didn’t have as many receiving ears.
“Before you freak out, that girl is Amanda Sharp, or Rumor, she got called here for an assignment with Rooster.” He explained.
“Yeah I’ve been informed of that.”
“Who is she? And why does she and Bradley seem close?” You asked, hoping he had more answers than your ATC friends.
“I don’t know too much, but apparently shes from here and her and Rooster grew up together….”
“Childhood sweethearts?” You inquired.
“I have no clue, but thats why I came to talk to you cuz I knew you would freak out.”
“Freak out? I’m not freaking out. Oh my God! Is that why he hasn’t texted me all day? He was preoccupied with her.” You started pacing while Hangman looked at you in amusement.
“Shh relax, see? What did I say? ” He grabbed your shoulders to stop you from burning a hole on the ground.
“Yes he was showing her around base and we were getting briefed on the mission earlier today, which why we BOTH weren’t texting you earlier. But I’m sure sure you didn’t notice my absence as much as Bradshaw’s right?” He chuckled.
“Sorry Jake..” You felt guilty at not also noticing your friends’ unresponsiveness.
“No worries Honey, I’m just kidding.. Mostly.”
You looked across the bar again, this girl, Amanda seemed to fit right in with their group, joking around with Phoenix and making the other pilots laugh. She was absolutely stunning.
“She’s really pretty..” You pointed out sadly.
“Oh yeah she’s a smoke show.” Hangman agreed with your observation.
“I’m surprised you’re not over there flirting with her.”
“Hey! I don’t have the urge to flirt with every attractive woman.” He exclaimed feigning offense.
You raised a knowing eyebrow at him.
“Okay you don’t believe me, but I could’ve been turning my charm on you a long time ago and I haven’t.” He rationalized.
“That’s because you respect Rooster too much, and I’m not even your type.” You laughed at him.
“Yes despite my better judgement I definitely respect Bradshaw too much.” He admits with a sigh.
“But you’re wrong about the second part, all beautiful women are my type, and last time I checked you honey, fall under that category.” He corrected you.
“Thanks Jake..”
You knew that he was just being a good friend, and trying to make you feel better. But you couldn’t help but feel insecure about your standing with Rooster, especially when a woman so beautiful and so suited for him is now within reach.
You sigh sadly as you look at Rooster and Rumor across the bar, not only do they look good together, even their call signs sound good together.
Hangman follows your eyes across the bar before putting a hand on your shoulder, rubbing circles on your back with his thumb.
“Just talk to Bradshaw about it, okay?”
“I promise that nothing can come between what you have.���
He says before returning back to the pool tables with the rest of the pilots.
——————————————————————————————-
You returned home after your conversation with Hangman, telling your friends that you suddenly had felt under the weather and wanted to get some rest.
You wondered if Rooster was even going to call you tonight. It was part of your routine, your body and your heart expected it at this point. But with the recent developments, should you let yourself hope?
You always knew that this was going to end, Bradley couldn’t wait for you forever. He was eventually going to find his match, one who was not too afraid to show herself to him.And it was finally here, in the form of Amanda Sharp.
You were preparing yourself for disappointment so you were genuinely surprised to receive a call from Rooster, albeit very much later than when he usually called, but nevertheless, he called you!
“Hey Cloud!” He sounded so excited.
“Hi.” you breathed out, hoping to sound as normal as possible.
“How was your day?” He asked you.
“It was okay, missed you today..”
“Oh yeah, I’m sorry for being MIA, I had a pretty busy day.” He explained.
“That’s fine Brad, what did you do?” You asked him, hoping to not sound like you were prying (even though you already knew why he was so busy.)
“Hangman and I were briefed about an upcoming mission they want us to fly, its not yet official or confirmed but there’s a possibility they need us at some point.”
He still had not mentioned Rumor, was he purposely trying to hide it from you?
“Did anything else happen?” You tried your best to not sound accusatory.
“Not too much, that took up the majority of the day honestly… Oh and Mandy came in today!” He sounded so overjoyed to mention her.
“Mandy?”
“She’s a WSO, call sign Rumor, she got called in for the possible mission.”
You were hoping he would elaborate.
“So you know her well?”
“Yeah.. we actually grew up together.”
“Were you friends?”
“Friends, and we dated for a little while in high school and then again while in flight school.”
And there it was, the history and connection that you feared that the two shared.
“Oh.. wow. That’s great, it must be great to reconnect with an old flame.” You forced out, trying to keep your voice from cracking.
“Hey,, are you okay sweetheart?” Of course your distress would not go unnoticed by Bradley.
“I’m fine, Rooster.” You insisted even though you were fighting everything in you to keep from crying.
“You know were ancient history right? We broke up before I even entered Top Gun.”
You wanted to trust him and you knew he wouldn’t intentionally lie to you.
“Okay Bradley, I believe you.”
“Good because you’re the only girl I want.” You smiled, hoping that he was telling the truth.
‘Now tell me what I missed today Cloud.”
——————————————————————————————-
The next couple of weeks has been… rough for the lack of a better word. Well it was for you, you weren’t quite so sure for Bradley.
His texts slowly got more and more sporadic, until you only received at most 3 a day, and they almost always had something to do with Rumor.
Brad Brad ✈️🐔: Mandy cooked me lunch!
Or
Brad Brad ✈️🐔: I’m getting a haircut, Mandy says its getting too long.
He still made an effort to call you every night, but they were getting shorter and shorter and later and later, usually because he and Rumor were at the bar or having a movie night or getting dinner together.
Bradley told you they were just friends, and you wanted to trust him. But you were growing more and more anxious about their relationship every passing day.
You were barely assigned to be ATC for Rooster since Rumor became his back seater, and the times you were, he was completely business and has not said anything outside asking for clearance.
You would look at the from across the mess hall, or across the bar, or down at the Tarmac and see how comfortable and in touch they were with each other. Hangman would shoot you looks of pity whenever he would catch you doing this.
Jakey 🤠: You look like a kicked puppy
You: Can you blame me?
Jakey 🤠: They’re just talking shop
You: Didn’t realize talking shop was so funny.
Jakey 🤠: It can be
Jakey 🤠: Just finish eating, and we can drink away the bad thoughts later
You: I might just take you up on that.
When you were leaving the mess hall, you saw Rumor clinging to Bradley’s arm as they were laughing at something that you unfortunately missed. There’s the brick in your stomach settling in again.
You were out with your ATC friends once again, trying to distract yourself from the crappy thoughts that were plaguing your mind. You were thankful that the group picked another bar, as you could not spend another evening seeing Amanda and Bradley together.
“I swear I have no luck dating in this town.” Lia sighed
“It’s impossible to find a Navy man who’s emotionally available and single.” Sara explained.
“I swear it would be easier to find a needle in a haystack.”
You nodded in agreement, but keeping your own relationship troubles to yourself.
“Speaking of Navy men..” Laura turned to you.
“What’s your deal with Hangman?”
“Jake? We’re friends.” You explained to them.
“You guys seem awfully close.” Lia added with a raised eyebrow.
“He’s just helping me through some things.” You hoped that this was enough to quell their curiosity.
As much as you liked these girls, you were not ready for anyone else to know about your situation with Bradley.
“Are you sure? I swore I saw something there.” Laura stated.
“Nope, just a platonic casual friendship.” You smiled grateful for Jake’s companionship.
“If you say so girl.”
“Oh shit, y’all will not believe what just happened.” Sara exclaimed, wide eyed at something on her phone.
“I know we should’ve gone to the Hard Deck tonight!”
The three of you stared at her in confusion, while Sara continued jaw slacked, typing on her phone.
“Well are you going to share with the class?” Laura asked, clearly losing patience.
“Okay, so my friend who works down in the hangar has been kind of giving me updates about the whole Rooster and Rumor situation.” Sara explained.
“Situation?” Lia asked.
“They’re like high school sweethearts or something and also had a bit of a thing at flight school.”.
“Why'd they break up?” Laura asked.
“From what I heard, they were assigned to different bases, Rooster in Virginia and Rumor in Texas. They couldn’t make it work with the distance.”
“Unresolved feelings?” You added with a gulp, all your insecurities from the past couple weeks now culminating.
“No actually, they decided to be ‘just friends’. And based on what my friend has been telling me these past few weeks, they do seem very much platonic.”
You could feel relief slowly fill you, maybe your worries have been unfounded and they really are just friends.”
“Then why the sudden freak out?” Laura inquired.
“So my friend is at the Hard Deck right now, and she walked out to the back deck for some air. Guess who she saw out there making out?”
“No!” Lia gasped.
You suddenly felt like you just had the air punched out of you.
“So much for being ‘just friends.’” Laura chucked
You felt absolutely sick to your stomach. The whole world felt like it was spinning and it didn’t help that you already had two martinis in your system.
You stood up, trying leaning on the table to keep your balance.
“I gotta use the restroom.” You excused yourself.
“You want us to come?” Lia asked.
“No its okay I just need a minute.:
You walked towards the back, trying to keep your footsteps even and your breathing as steady as possible.
When you knew you were out of ear shot, you took out your phone and pressed a button on your recently called. The phone rang a couple times before being picked up.
“Did you see it?” You asked
Hangman sighed before answering.
“Yes I did.”
You feel like you’ve been hit by a truck.
You could no longer hold back the tears.
“So this entire time I’ve been right to worry.” You sobbed.
“No, I promise before tonight, they hadn’t been anything but completely platonic.”
“The rest of us are just as shocked as you.” Jake argued.
“People don’t just makeout out of nowhere Hangman.”
It was getting harder and harder to breath as you the flood gates continuously brained themselves.
“Honey, breath.” Jake was now worried.
“I just-..”
“Jake, I can’-..”
“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”
You told him where you were and he came to pick you up less than 20 minutes later, telling Lia, Laura, and Sara you were having an allergic reaction and needed to get home.
You spent most of the drive home sobbing your eyes out. With Jake not quite knowing what to do to help you.
You finally got your breathing back to normal when he parked in froont of your apartment building.
“I know you’re upset, and you are right to. But I think you need to talk to Bradshaw.”
“At least let him explain.”
“There is nothing to explain Jake, I was right, there was something there with Rumor.”
It felt ironic that her call sign was so fitting in this situation.
“Even if there was something there the entire time, which I honestly doubt, you should at least hear him out.”
“He’s crazy about you, don’t just throw that away.”
“Okay.” You tell Jake, not sure why, if only to get rid of him and wallow in your own self pity.
“Call me or text me if you need anything okay?” He tells you before driving away.
——————-——————————————————————————————-—————
Bradley still called you, you don’t know why. He should’ve been with Amnada right now, letting out the years of frustration from being apart.
Or maybe the gentleman he was, called to call things off with you instead of leaving you in the dark. You didn’t know which one would be worse for you in this situation.
“I missed you today baby.’ You heard his voice breath out.
Baby? Why was he talking to you like he didn’t just have his tongue down Rumor’s throat less than an hour ago?
“Is it true Bradley?”
You heard his breath hitch.
“How’d you find out?” He asked, guilt coating his voice.
“The Hard Deck is not exactly a private place. Everyone on base knows by now.” You answered voice solemn.
“Please don’t be mad, I can explain.” He stated frantically.
“Explain what Bradley? You and Rumor kissed, I think thats all you can say about it.”
“You rekindled the old flame.”
“No you couldn’t be anymore wrong.” he insisted.
“Maybe we had something in the past but I never thought of her as anymore than a friend after I met you.”
“Earlier at the Hard Deck we were with the rest of the squad playing pool like we usually do and she asked if we could talk outside.” He explained.
You debated stopping him, avoid hearing the sordid details, but for some reason unknown you let him continue.
“She told me that the past few weeks made her realize that she still had feelings for me and then she kissed me.”
“But I swear to you I pushed her away, and I told her that there was someone else and that I just saw her as a friend.
“But not before everyone in the Hard Deck saw.”
Did you want to believe him? Why would Rooster be stupid enough to push away his breathtakingly beautiful ex girlfriend for you?
He was attempting to make you feel better but the cause of their breakup was being torn apart by distance. And now that they’re back in the same place. What's to stop them from starting again?
“Its okay Bradley, you don’t have to lie to me if you still feel something for her.” You wanted to make this as clean of a break as possible, if he was going to leave you at least you can go with dignity.
“I already told you Cloud. Theres nothing there.. Its ancient history!”
“I love you!” He exclaimed.
“Bradley please. You don’t have to say that.”
“But its true. Why don’t you believe me? Why don’t you trust me?” He pleaded.
“That’s not it! Bradley, I just-”
“No you don’t! We’ve been doing this dance for months, and anytime I tell you how I feel, you discount my feelings.”
“Despite everything you still won’t meet me!I still don’t even know your name!”
“Why don’t you let me see who you are?” He begged.
“I think we need to end this.”
It broke your heart to have to do this, but you knew it was inevitable, it was better to rip off the bandaid than to let both of you get hurt more.
“What are you saying?”
“Bradley I’m sorry, I don’t want to hold you back anymore. You deserve someone who's smart, beautiful, accomplished, you deserve so much better than me.” You could no longer stop the tear that escaped from your eyes.
“But don’t you get it Cloud? You are all those things, I’ve never seen your face but I know that, I know you, and I love you. You are all I want.”
“Bradley.. I can’t.”
“Okay then I won’t push you, and I won’t force you to stay if that’s not what you want.”
“But just know.. I didn’t leave, I don’t want to leave. You pushed me away.”
You pressed end call before you could hurt him more than you already have. It needed to be done. Now he was free to explore whatever could happen with Rumor and you can maybe start to move on with your life.
And for the first time in a long time rather than the sound of Bradley’s voice, you fell asleep to complete silence
——————————————————————————————-
Your punctuality and your perfect attendance at work definitely paid off because you now accumulated enough vacation days to mope around and heal from your breakup with Bradley. (Can you even call it a breakup if you were never actually together?)
You couldn’t log into work and be his ATC after everything thats happened. And you couldn’t sit up on that comm tower and watch him and Rumor rekindle their relationship.
You spent the past three days licking your wounds and getting used to the silence that filled your once enlivened phone, with only an occasional text from your mom, fellow ATCs , and Jake reminding you that your phone did actually still work.
You were ready to sleep the rest of the day away when you got a text from Hangman.
Jakey 🤠: Open your door, I’m outside.
You: No. I want to be alone.
Jakey 🤠: I know that, I promise I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.
Jakey 🤠: Please
You: Fine.
You dragged yourself off your bed, not bothering to care that you did not look presentable enough to be seen by other humans.
You opened the door to a nervous Hangman in his dress whites.
You let him in and watched him awkwardly stand in your living room before asking.
“What is so important Jake?”
“You need to see Bradshaw. In person. Face to face. Tonight.” He tells you firmly.
“Absolutely not!”
“Did he put you up to this? I did what I did, for him. Bradley and I are done, and there no reason to-”
“Please listen.” Hangman interrupted desperately. You can tell he was holding back a lot so you stopped yourself from continuing your tirade and sat on your couch. Eyeing Hangman and silently inviting him to sit as well.
He sat on the spot next to you, avoiding your gaze, which you couldn’t understand because Jake was not the type to shy away from eye contact.
“That mission that we kept talking about? Rooster, Rumor, and I were chosen to fly it.” He explained, his leg bouncing anxiously.
“I thought that mission was only circumstantial? It wasn’t even confirmed.” You were confused.
“Well they confirmed it. Today.” He replied
“Were getting shipped out tomorrow.”
“How bad is it?” You gulped.
“Its bad, we’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Is it worse that the uranium plant?”
He nodded silently.
“Oh Jake.” You hugged his figure tightly, trying to exude as much sympathy as you could in your embrace.
He released himself your grasp after a few moments and looked at you with a sad smile.
“Now don’t go crying on me now Honey. Don’t you worry about me, I chose to risk my life for my country.”
Of course, expect Hangman to joke even in the face of death.
He stood up unexpectedly pulling you up with him.
“But that’s why you need to talk to Rooster.”
“Don’t let him go, not knowing who you are.”
“But Jake-.” You were ready to protest with the same point you’ve been using this entire ordeal, which were now sounding insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
“You already broke it off, you already lost each other. What more can you lose?”
“Do this, not just for him but for you. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t.”
He was right. Rooster was leaving for a mission so classified and dangerous that only the three aviators, admirals, and a select few ATCs knew about it. If Bradley died on that mission, you would hate yourself forever for never giving him answers.
“Okay.. I will.” You replied softly.
“Atta-girl.” Jake smiled at you with his signature smirk.
“Now go shower and get ready because you stink!” He tells you playfully as you made your way to your bedroom to make yourself presentable.
You found yourself yet again anxiously sitting in the passenger seat of Jake’s car.
“Stop being so nervous, I promise it’ll be okay. Bradshaw loves you.” Jake tells you as you pull up to the Hard Deck.
You exit Hangman’s truck and enter the Hard Deck cautiously, immediately searching for Bradley.
Then you saw him, he was sitting at the bar in his dress whites nursing a scotch. He was absolutely radiant.
You debated turning around and walking out of that bar and out of Bradley’s life forever, but you kept your feet planted, and slowly but surely made your way to him.
“Rooster?” You call to him with a tap on his shoulder.
Here goes nothing.
He says your name in response, and as much as you love the little nickname he’s been calling you these past several months, hearing him say your real name felt absolutely perfect, like he was always meant to say it.
“You’re Hangman’s friend right?” He asks you with a small smile.
“Yes I am! I’m here because I wanted to say-”
“I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but tonight is sort of a last hurrah and I’m waiting for-”
“Oh here she is!”
You turned to see Leiutenant Sharp approaching the bar.
“Mandy! You’re finally here.” He said with a wide smile as he pulled her in for a hug
And there it was, you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces, and any hope you had was swept away.
“Roo! Come on you owe me a dance.” She tells him as she pulled him up from his stool.
“Sure, just let me talk to-” Rooster turned to look at you but you were already gone.
'
How could you have been so stupid? You should’ve just left the situation alone. You had a clean break and you did it with your dignity intact.
But you were so dumb and such a hopeless romantic for letting Jake drag you there only to have your heart further ripped apart.
You ran out to the back deck, not being able to stand to be around the new (old?) couple any longer. You tried, you really did but you weren’t even worth his time.
You wished you stayed in bed, where you were safe, instead you were here completely humiliated, trying not to further embarrass yourself by crying in public.
You heard the back door open and saw Jake step out into the night.
“I saw what happened…”
“So you saw how completely humiliated I was?” You asked him, frustration flooding out of your body.
“He obviously has a lot on his mind, he didn’t mean it, if you tried again-”
“Don’t you get it Jake? Everything I told you would happen, happened.”
“He completely blew me off! He didn’t even let me talk.” You didn’t realize how loud you were and didn’t realize that Bradley’s pricked up, finally recognizing your voice.
“He took one look at me and decided I wasn’t even worth his time.”
“Can I even blame him Jake? Look at me, I wouldn’t give me the time of day either.”
“No Stop! I am sick of you not seeing just how beautiful you are!” Jake blurted.
“You are so absolutely breathtaking and Bradshaw is an idiot for blowing you off.”
You were shocked at his admition, you opened your mouth to reply, when you heard the back door open.
“I am an idiot.” You were shocked to see Bradley now standing on the back deck.
Shocked silence settled between the three of you
“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Jake ended the stillness before moving back inside the Hard Deck.
“So its you.” Bradley stared at you with a straight face, his expression indiscernible.
Its funny how you were so much better at reading him when it was just his voice.
“You have been here the whole time.” He commented
“Yeah Bradley I have.” You sighed, staring down at your feet.
“Look at me.” He pleaded.
You slowly looked up to see he was now closer to you. Almost a breath away.
“Why? Why did you hide from me for so long?”
“I already told you.. You deserve someone better than me.” You answered, your voice cracking.
“And I told you that you are all I want.”
“You say that Bradley but when I tried to show myself to you…you tossed me aside.”
“Within one sentence you decided that I wasn’t enough.”
“You know that was not my intention.” He replied.
“But that’s exactly what you did. So all of my anxieties were proven right.”
“I’m no one special, just another wide eyed girl, who's desperately in love with you.”
You avoided saying those three words to him, knowing that whatever you had was temporary, you were trying to protect yourself. Even now after admitting it, you didn’t feel any weight lift off of you, your heart only feeling heavier.
Bradley stared at you with wide eyes, but made no effort to respond to you finally declaring your love for him.
You decided to not let this shit show drag on any longer.
“Good luck on your mission Leuitenant Commander Bradshaw.” You whispered, touching your hand to his cheek, accepting that this is the last interaction you’ll ever have with him.
With that final action, you turned and ran out back to the parking lot, Jake running after you, and leaving Bradley standing alone.
——————————————————————————————-
The drive home was done in relative silence, a million thoughts swirling around your head.
You almost didn’t realize that Jake’s truck was now parked in front of your apartment building.
You both continued to sit in silence, not knowing what the other one was thinking.
“Hey about what I said earlier…it was completely out of nowhere and I don’t want to give you more to worry about” Jake took the leap.
“Can we just forget about it?”
You decided to not make it any harder for him, the night already having too much drama for you to handle.
“Don’t worry about it Jake, consider it forgotten.” You smiled at him finally unbuckling yourself.
“But I meant it, you are so beautiful, both inside and out. I know it, and even though Bradshaw is a moron, he knows it too.”
“I just wish you knew it.”
“Thank you Jake…for everything.” You tell him softly.
“Good luck tomorrow Hangman, try your best to come back okay? I still need my best friend alive and well.” You gave him the most genuine smile you could muster.
“I’ll try my best Honey.” Giving you that signature dazzling Seresin smile.
And with a final kiss on his cheek, you jumped of the truck and back into your lonely apartment.
——————————————————————————————-
You couldn’t bring yourself to sleep even if you wanted to.
When did life get so complicated?
You were missing the quiet existence you were living before that faithful mission and that indecorous call.
But you knew deep down that you would never trade the time you had with Bradley for anything. Even though it did end as painfully as it did.
You were laid on your bed staring at the ceiling, you’ve run out of tears to cry hours ago, and now you were just numb.
The events that transpired earlier that evening were definitely part of the reason for your restlessness, but you also couldn’t feel panicked about the mission that Bradley and Jake were about to embark on.
Technically you did give Bradley a proper goodbye, but it obviously didn’t go quite as you hoped, even though it did prove your previously thought irrational musings correct.
But the satisfaction you usually had about being proven right was absent and all you felt was dread. But this is how it's meant to be.
If (and hopefully when) the three aviators return from the mission, Bradley will return to Amanda, who he rightly belonged. He will continue to be well known in the Navy community, hell he might even get another promotion.
And you would just be back to being another ATC, back to being invisible.
An incredibly hard pill to swallow but one that you always knew you had to take.
Your bedside alarm flashed the time, 4:15am. In less than an hour they will be well on their way to uncertain death and there no use being awake if it’ll be the same outcome no matter what you do.
You reached to turn off your phone for the night, but you saw the notification from someone you assumed no longer wanted to have anything to do with you.
Brad Brad ✈️🐔
2 new voicemails
You took a deep breath before pressing play on the first one.
“Hey Cloud.. Oh sorry”
He apolgized before correcting himself and saying your name.
“I know that this is coming too late, and you probably won’t hear until I’ve already gone. I honestly don’t know if you’ll hear this message at all, honestly I wouldn't blame you if you just deleted this message once you saw it was from me…..
“But in case you do listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I screwed up so badly, and I was a complete asshole to you. I guess I was so in my head about the mission, Mandy, and how you ended things with us, that I ignored what was always in front of me. Every moment I spent talking to you made so indescribably happy, it was like I was on Cloud 9, every single day I heard your voice. All I’ve wanted these past few months was you, to see you, to finally touch you and prove to myself that you weren’t just a figment of my imagination. ”
“When you came up to me earlier tonight, and finally make what I’ve been wishing for a reality, I fucked it up by being an idiot. I was so caught up in my own bullshit that while I did hear your voice and your words, I wasn’t listening. Because if I was actually listening I would’ve found you a long time ago.
“I should’ve know it was you…from the moment I saw you, I couldn’t my take yes off of you. The girl who was so breathtaking that I almost tripped over myself in the hallway. The girl sitting across the room from me in the mess hall whose laugh seemed so full of life. I was even jealous of Hangman for getting to be friends with this beautiful girl. I was looking for you this entire time, when I should’ve seen that you were always there. I was just too ignorant to notice.
“It hurt that you hid your face and your name from me, it honestly felt like you didn’t trust me. That I was just a little plaything for you. But I can see now that I was wrong. It breaks my heart that you think that you’re not good enough for me, because you are, you are more than good enough. I’m the one who's not worthy of your kindness, your admiration, and your love…”
“I hate that you think you’re just another girl, one whos not worthy of all the love in the world. I hate everything and every person that ever made you feel that way. And I especially hate that I was one of them.”
“Theres so many other things I want to say, but my point is I love you Cloud. You are the best parts of my day, you make me laugh, you listen to my stupid jokes, tolerate my instent flirting, you give me another reason to keep going. I haven’t had one since my parents died… You made me remember why I loved music.”
“I wish things could’ve gone differently earlier, if I didn’t fuck up so badly, I would be with you right now. And if I don’t come back at least I would’ve still had the chance to hold you in my arms. But I ruined that for myself.
“So if I never see you again, I want to say thank you, thank you for all the love and support you’ve given me. Thank you for making me feel like I’m on Cloud 9. I really hope you can forgive me, but of course I understand if you don’t. I owe you that much.
“I promise I will try to come back, okay? I will try to come back for you. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to become the man that is good enough for you. I love you Cloud, and whether i die tomorrow or 80 years from now… I always will.”
The voicemail ended with a beep.
Bradley loves you, even after he saw you, he still loves you.
In fact he loves you not DESPITE all the things you hate about yourself but BECAUSE of all those things. He’s the one who think hes not good enough, not the other way around. And he couldn’t be any more wrong.
Tears once again coated your face, this time not because of pain and sadness but because of joy.
You remembered that he sent a second voicemail, you couldn’t think of what else Bradley could've added to make you love him more. It's impossible.
You pressed play and heard his voice singing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” , the first song he’s ever sung to you, and you couldn’t help but let more tears of joy fall.
Yet again, he managed to prove you wrong. He was too good at that.
Then a realization hit you. You flipped your head to see the time, 4:30am.
You have to head to base, You got dressed as quickly as possible, even quicker than the day you woke up late.
You quickly drove into base, pulling into the employee parking lt not even bothering to check if you were between the lines.
You sprinted across the tarmac past the remaining planes and to the dock where the aircraft carrier was positioned to set sail.
Thank God, it hadn’t left the dock. You saw the crew that was manning the mission enter the carrier, it was a fairly small crew due to the classified nature of the mission. You looked around hoping to find Bradley to no avail.
He was probably situated deep in the carrier, preparing for his mission. You were too late.
You suddenly heard someone call your name.
You turned to see Jake jogging towards you. You were a bit disappointed, but glad to see your friend off before he boarded.
“What are you doing here?” Jake asked you joy plastered on his face.
“Just saying goodbye to my best friend.” You said with a smile giving him a hug.
When you both came out from the hug, you noticed Jake looking past your head
“I’m really happy to see you.” He chuckled.
“But there’s someone else who’s gonna be even happier to see you.” He said with a soft smile as he pointed behind you.
You turned around and there he was. The man whos voice you spent every night falling asleep to, the man you had to remind that if something is unnaturally green you shouldn’t eat it, and the man who you were so hopelessly and deeply in love with.
You were both staring at one another, slowly walking towards one another, only a few inches apart. Not knowing who was going to make the first move or say the first words.
“Oh hell, am I gonna have to do everything?” Jake exclaimed before pushing you into Bradley’s arms.
“Thank me later!” Jake waved back as he walked to board the carrier.
“You’re here!” Bradley smiled, ending your vocal stalemate.
“I got your voicemails.” You responded also a smile adorning your face.
Bradley pulled you closer, his arms wrapped you waist and yours around neck. You were now nose to nose.
“So you know I meant every single word of it.” He whispered.
“I do.” You responded.
“And i want you to know.. I love you too Brad Brad.”
That was enough for him to finally close the distance between your lips.
You must’ve imagine what kissing Bradley would feel like a thousand times, but none of those daydreams and fantasies compared to the real deal.
It felt like you were drinking water after a lifetime of thirst. His lift were so soft and firm and it felt like absolute magic. His fingers dug into you waist and you leaned deeper into him as he ran his tongue across your lips. You took the hint and opened your mouth and the minute his tongue slipped in you couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your lips .
You suddenly rememebered where you were and pulled back, connecting your forehead with his.
“Sorry Cloud, got a bit carried away there.” Bradley comments with a smirk.
“Yeah, you think?” You reply with an amused smile.
“I’m sorry, i must’ve forgotten my manners. How about I take you to dinner first?” He asks you.
“Hmmm..I don’t know.” You reply jokingly.
“Come on! Rejecting me again sweetheart? A man’s pride can only take so many hits” Bradley says with a pout
“I’m just kidding, I’d love to go to dinner with you.” You giggle kissing the pout off his face.
“In one condition..” You added.
“Oh yeah? What is that?” He asked with a raise eyebrow.
“Come back alive.”
“Deal.”
@luckyladycreator2
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#rooster top gun#rooster imagine#rooster angst#rooster x reader#rooster x y/n#hangman#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun one shot#top gun maverick one shot
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Random demon HCs (SFW)
Eyo, it's your girl, the one WHB poster who's interested in this game for all the wrong reasons with something non-gameplay related for once! Part of what definitely interests me is the demons in general and how they'll play off with each other + the MC. Doesn't even have to be related to the sexy stuff - some of these demons I feel have the potential to have interesting and complex dynamics with each other, particularly the Avisos demons!
So, um. Yeah. Enjoy my brainrot-
(Also I will be particularly biased towards the demons who've caught my eye. Refer to tier list below. So, um. Yeah. Sorry about that orz)
I feel like out of all the demons in Hell, Belial would be the one most attuned to music. He'd be the one to replay songs again and again, probably wearing noise-cancelling headphones so that he'll truly be immersed in the music. He probably used to love singing as a child, so when his voice was taken away, he was completely and utterly devastated. To compensate, he'd take up an instrument (like an acoustic guitar) or learn how to compose, so that at least he can express his love for music and performance...
Gusion desperately wants to cut down on work, but it's hard. He spends countless days and nights just going around solving problems - and there's an abundance of them in Hell. Honestly, he thought of creating systems to help streamline his work and problem-solving shenanigans, but holy shit everyone just loves wrecking those too, huh. After calculating and approximating the time and effort required to perform his duties, merely solving issues as they crop up is the more effective and less tiring solution to everything. Which is saying something, when that in itself is already tiring as fuck.
Leviathan is a gentleman, through and through. Cool, calm, and collected on the outside, he practically perfected the art of hiding away his negative emotions behind a charming smile and a no-nonsense attitude on the battlefield. The only people able to pry away his emotions from beneath the mask are his fellow kings, the demons of Hades, and eventually MC. And even then, he'll only be able to show his most vulnerable sides to his nobles and, again, MC (eventually). It's hard to win his trust and openness, what with his jealousy often getting in the way of him forming healthy relationships with others.
Beelzebub is actually a pretty bad cook. Like, Mystery Food X levels of bad - at least, starting out. Now, though? Well, the people who said they enjoyed his cooking have somehow deluded themselves to think it's good before the side effects kick in. Does it have hallucinogenic properties? Is it a side effect of Beelzebub's tendency to have weird things happen around him? Or perhaps he really did improve on his cooking? Who knows...who knows.
Naberius and Gusion are the perfect drinking buddies. They'd get together at a random pub somewhere in Hell when they have the time, and they'll spend their time getting buzzed while unloading everything weighing them down at the moment. Honestly, this started as an effort to help Naberius - letting out his emotions bit by bit to ensure everyone's safety is much more preferable than letting his anger and annoyance explode to an extent he becomes a Kerberos. Sometimes, they'll be joined by Bael, although rarely as he is standing in for Beelzebub. More often, Satan shows up and chats with them, as amiable as always - and they end up being his main listening ears if he needs to vent. Satan's secrets are always safe with them, and for that, he is forever thankful.
Leraye and Paimon often make things together! The former has a knack for sewing, while the latter has a lot of ideas for clothes and stuffed toys! Working together, they'd be able to create a large variety of trendy clothing and cute plush toys.
I know a lot of people HC this but yes, Marbas would be a gentle giant. While he's aroused by being restrained, I'd like to think the reason why he's always restrained is because something bad happened while he was doing something while not being restrained. Perhaps he accidentally killed someone with his sheer strength, during a more "daily life" scenario. While his strength is his pride, his ability to heal is a larger source of pride for him - which is why he agrees with the notion that putting restraints on him is for the best.
Sitri is a tea connoisseur! He likes tea, knows which tea leaves are the best, how to make specific blends of tea, how long each tea needs to steep in order to bring out a specific sort of flavor...and among the demons in Hell, there are few who can appreciate the finer details in tea brewing like him. Some of these demons include Barbatos (surprisingly enough), Foras, Bael, Bathin, and Paimon. They regularly get together to sample his teas!
Whenever Bathin wants someone to accompany him in his travels, Amon often takes him up on his offer. They'll wander around without any prior destination, dealing with problems that crop up during their travels along the way. They both live in the moment while traveling, letting the winds dictate where they'll head to next. Amon deals with most of the logistics of travel while Bathin would focus more on finding and learning about the points of interest wherever they end up. An MC who enjoys traveling would love being travel buddies with them!
Mammon's way of showing his affection is gift-giving. Though his gifts might come across as overboard sometimes. Because what do you mean he already sent over some more jewels your way? Nobody needs that many jewels, sir! Either way, Tartaros is a prospering land purely because of the many treasures Mammon gives away to his people. Whether or not these overflowing treasures gets sent off to other areas is a different story entirely.
Andrealphus would be the most sympathetic towards MC, I feel. He knows how it feels to lose someone you care about deeply, to have your life ripped away from you in an instant. He had already been in that position a long time ago, and it would greatly please him if MC would let him support them any way he can - up to and including sticking by their side to protect them.
Out of all the demons in Paradise Lost, I feel like Morax would be the one most versed in the logistics involving healing and first aid. Which is understandable - his method of healing involves transferring his patient's wounds onto him in the form of pain. As a result, he'll have to be able to gauge just how far into the healing process he should perform with his abilities - especially on the battlefield. He'd have his nose buried in books during his free time just so he can increase his healing efficacy.
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To say I've had a horrible and frustrating week is an understatement. I really feel like crying. I don't even know of crying will be the right way to express my frustrations.
My lectures at the university are intentionally trying to frustrate us. What did we do to them?? Why are they so evil??? I almost cried in school because of how frustrated I was.
I can to ask for a fic about reader being comforted by Taehoon and Seongjoon (separately of course) because this is genuinely one of the things that can make me happy.
I hope you're not having a bad week or day as well ❤️🩹❤️🩹
Black Anon 🖤🐈⬛
Black Anon, I'm so sorry your ask came in but my well was running super dry for Taehoon and Seongjun (still is for the latter as you can see shortly). I know it's been a while. I have been thinking about this ask and you a lot and hopefully you're feeling better? Sometimes a good cry can be cathartic. I have my fingers crossed that the root cause will get better! If not just head down and grind out the rest of the uni years if that is what you're wanting to do. Gotta admit, I disliked academia too.
Comforting YOU hc: Seong Taehoon, Baek Seongjoon
Seong Taehoon
Senses your mood before you even need to open your mouth.
He's not one to try and say anything to make you feel better. Often he doesn't know what to say, and he wouldn't say any niceties he doesn't mean anyway.
Instead he pulls you into his arms, pressing the lengths of your body together and holding you tight.
It's like a very comforting blanket. He won't even tease you later if you cry on his shoulder.
Go on, snot on his clothes. It's fine, it'll wash out. It doesn't matter that it's his favourite t-shirt.
When you're feeling a bit better, he tries a little harder to make the rest of your day a bit better. Things you would usually ask him for but instead of puting up a little front as if you're inconveniencing him, he just does it.
In case all else fails, Taehoon is actually excellent at making you laugh with his bitchy attitude. Whispers into your ears about something mundane and stupid until it shocks you into laughter.
Or, you're so appalled with his comment, you can't help but give him a slap on the arm.
With that, your mood and heart lightens a little more.
Baek Seongjun
Whatever is on his calendar for the day, it's cleared. Don't even worry about him spending the day by your side. He wants to do this, ok?
A call from an assemblymen or from Jinho? Answers with the promises of calling them later. You're his main concern right now.
Will listen patiently if you want to vent, offer solutions to your problems if that's what you're after.
Or simply, he will just sit with you. Holding your hand, kissing your tears away.
Rough hands brushing away your tears, pressing his lips to your eyelids.
If you want a little escape, just a breather for a few days to escape reality, he is there by your side.
That NewTube video he had planned, the television appearance? He can reschedule.
Whatever and wherever you want to go, he'll follow and make sure you're ok.
Take as long as you need, you and him have all the time in the world.
#completely forgotten what canon seongjun is like sorry#🖤anon#taehoon seong#taehoon x reader#viral hit#viral hit manhwa#viral hit x reader#viral hit webtoon#viral hit headcanons#how to fight#how to fight manhwa#how to fight webtoon#how to fight headcanons#seong taehoon x reader#seong taehoon#seong taehun#seong taehun x reader#taehun seong#taehun seong x reader#baek seongjoon#baek seongjun x reader#baek seongjun#seongjun baek x reader#wannaeatramyeon
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Sugar daddy Thrawn
ThrawnxF!reader
Is not interested by your age, could totally go for a baby older than him (even if that defeat the purpose)
You're here to keep him company, but you have to be pro-active and actually be curious about his interests. If you're here only for the money he will lose interest instantly.
Didn't use a website to meet his baby, he actually met you at an art galery : you asked him a question about one piece and you actually listen to him rent for a solid hour and a half about it, even took some notes and references. You took a coffee together to prolong this agreeable conversation and he learns you got some money problems recently
Have so much money that he just... gave you the amount you needed? Why? Because you listened and you were really polite and indulged him in his fancy
You, on the other hand, were dead ass serious about paying him back so you exchanged numbers and it trinckles down from here.
It starts pretty little at first and grows from here : he saw a book you might like and buys it, then its a nice dress, then its a jewelry, then it's a collar with actual diamonds, ect...
Of course he will pay for your studies, education is so important after all, what man he would be if he deprived you of that? Don't have the money for an apartment and aren't keen on the colocations at uni? Don't worry, he will find you a very nice place to live in, he will rent it obviously.
What does he ask in exchange? Not so much, just you accompanying him at exhibitions, he just wants to talk to an other art afficionado
One day he calls you because a super select party for the upper hand of Coruscant demands he comes accompanied. Would you be a doll and appear at his arm? He will pay you a nice dress for the occasion.
He ends up paying you several dresses, as much shoes, perfume and a complete sets of jewelry with big shiny diamonds Was it too much? Probaly. Did you refuse? No.
You walked in the grand room holding on to his arm, all doll up and pretty. He presented you his "friends" and extended your network. You walk out with stars in the eyes.
Is it because he felt exceptionnally lonely that night? This is the night he kissed you for the first time and took you to bed.
It was mind blowing, pretty much ruined you for any other man.
It then became a habit, he treats you to a nice dinner with a nice gift, then he fucks you whole night.
You very much don't complain. You got a friend, expensive gifts and a good lay in one go!
But's it's not always rose and shiny...
You're here to listen to him vents about his colleagues and subordinates, about what went wrong in his campaing, about his fears for the future, ect... You have to tell him everything will be okay with your head on his chest, slowly caressing him with the tip of your fingers, hum him a tune, say to him you will remain with him whatever happens, that you'll be waiting for his return whenever it is... He sleeps with you pressed tighly against him, embracing you.
He cheats on his solitude with you, he got so little time to spend with you he has to make the most of it.
Actually met your parents, they now know him as the really nice gentleman that helped you for your studies, nothing suspicious here.
Really likes to fuck you in all your jewelry, it's so beautiful so see your tits bounce in so much shiny pearls and diamonds.
Calls you "pearl", "doll", "treasure" and, yes, "baby" or any equivalent in Cheuhn.
Personally decorated your flat with only the finest of arts.
You always go to your apartment or a hotel, you never got to see his place.
Doesn't really realize he's a sugar daddy? To him you're a valuable friend he likes to fuck and buy stuff for and you don't have the heart to tell him.
You would remain with him even without all that, that is just a nice plus.
Is not ashamed to hold your hand, even in public. Is proud to have you at his side.
@al-astakbar this is your fault I have those ideas rotting my brain!
@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay
#thrawn x reader#thrawn x you#thrawn x f!reader#grand admiral thrawn#thrawn#mitth’raw’nuruodo#fanfic#vibratingskull
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Please. Share more info about the maruki adopts akechi au. IM INVESTED
Anything about the PT in this au? Would Akechi meet them? (Drama? Romance?)
Thank you sm for being interested! Theres SO MUCH I can say that I wouldnt be sure where to start so I will focus on the ones you did ask!
The phantom thieves are very much in this universe as well. And Akechi will join them eventually, he approaches them himself when he realizes that maybe Maruki isn't following through their cause properly. He requests them to change Maruki heart along with him for the sake of making sure the world the envision will truly be good. (Obviously this will all blow up into Akechi breaking out of brainwashing as they explore the palace)
I will copy a snippet of my notes about the fact that he is part of Shujin academy as well and how he Joker first meet! And reply to the romance question under cut!
"Akechi would be the vice president of the student council and has a general reputation of being approachable and kind and that venting about your problems to him always helps. He doesn't always use his powers it's just a general he Helps just by listening.
The entire school is rumors of how kind and pretty is the counselor and his son. They might not look alike but everyone is like they are so similar it's so true this school will always be at peace with them.
Then akiren charges in. And it's not like he brainwashed the whole school so rumors start, it's unpleasant and akechi won't have that its not their goal. He changes the person who started the rumors but that doesn't stop it and they can't make their plans too obvious he can't change everyone so he approaches akiren with the goal of knowing how he is doing if he should just change him into someone 'calm' and maybe the rumors would go away on their own. But he realizes akiren is … harmless and kind? There's nothing there to even rumor about. Maybe it's because akechi is there and he is pretending? He decides he wants to keep in contact he wants akiren to keep in touch to know if he will adjust well if he can give names if someone does something to him and funny enough akiren agrees in a similar reason of, tell me if there seems to be a big person that the students are worried about (so the thieves can change them) Basically they are each other new source of info for side quests.
Also joker figures it out after kamoshida because the entire school seems to be Too Calm and Too Okay with what just happened. Something akechi slipped with Morgana there makes him realize Akechi has some powers too and maybe that's why."
As for romance, I'm obviously a shuake fan if you have glanced at my blog. Basically there would indeed be a endgame with the two of them but things are a bit more complicated than that. Because for Akechi to heal and accept himself after Maruki brainwash breaks, he needs Joker to not have loved his pleasant self. Unlike canon it's not like that's a version of him he was just pretending to be, it's a version of him that existed out of his control.
So basically while they have feelings for each other before it a bit, even though Maruki says he shouldnt (making this one of the few things Akechi has picked out of his own free will) and Joker mostly likes him as a friend. Their relationship mostly develops as in a similar way to Sumire Rank5-10, Joker spends time with Akechi figuring out together what 'Akechi' even is as a person, its been all 4 years since he has been under control, and now all he has is Anger and Sadness at his manipulation and forgotten memories that came back. Joker is the one who introduces him to competitive games like darts and shogi this time around. The most validating thing Joker does for Akechi is loving his anger more than his politeness in the end.
#maruki adopts akechi au#using that as a tag for easier finding#this is still just a very small portion of my notes I feel like so#any more specific questions feel free to ask >:) !
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but what if the thing your working towards is unattainable or you used to have the thing and then fucked everything up and lost it
ill tell you a story
it was only two years ago that I met a guy. he was amazing. literally anything I could have ever wanted in a guy, he was, and I fell in love with him immediately. he felt the same way about me. it was crazy because I hadn't a clue as to why he wouldve chose me to begin with, let alone that quickly, but he did, and both of us were happy. I've told him secrets I still have yet to tell anyone else, same with him. I've done insane things to be with him. I was 16 but absolutely insane for this guy.
my previous boyfriend had cheated on my during our entire relationship. it was scary because I had no idea he had been doing it until he told me himself in a spur of the moment confession. he'd been perfect too but that all crumbled down so quickly and it shattered me. so I was so scared to lose this guy, and I knew he had other people who liked him, so in order to keep him around I treated him like shit. I wouldn't let him talk to anyone in private, I either had to be there or he had to have records of the entire interaction and if he didn't I threatened to break up with him and did but only for like a day before he apologized to me. I told him these were my "boundaries" and spent a while convincing (manipulating) him to agree to them.
it eventually got to be too much for him and he broke up with me. I spiralled. I freaked out on him and threatened to kill his new boyfriend (who happened to be my best friend). he later told me there'd been a chance that the three of us could have a relationship together but that I'd ruined it when I said that. I didn't mean it of course, I'd never hurt anyone, let alone my best friend. but that's what hurt so much. a meaningless hollow threat I'd made during the heat of the moment destroyed my chance to be with the guy of my dreams.
it took me a bit of grieving but eventually a few weeks later I reflected on what happened. I realized that I was the problem, that I never wanted to hurt him but it was all I knew to do because I was so afraid of losing him to someone else. it ended up being the reason I lost him to someone else. I stayed out of relationships for about a year and a half, spending my time healing and thinking about what I'd done and how I could heal myself so that I wouldn't freak out on the next person I date. turns out I have bad BPD that I was receiving no therapy for, so it festered inside me that whole time. not saying that people with BPD are as abusive as I was, I just had emotions and breakdowns that came from that that I didn't understand so it ended up turning into that.
fast forward a few months, I'm in a very happy relationship with a new guy who is just as special as my other guy was. I give him space. I let him talk to people. yes there are times I'll admit where I get my fur ruffled up, but I vent it out through jokes and he reassures me that I'm his. I'm a very different person from who I was before, and yes, I did apologize to the other guy. I let him know that what I did was wrong and that I was healing from it and trying to change, and that nothing I did was his fault, that he was a victim, and that he shouldn't let what I did to him affect how he goes into his future relationships. he's forgiven me and we don't talk anymore
every so often I'll think about him, about what we had. his pictures. his art. his little crafts. he loved playing guitar. he has a little sister. his skin is the most perfect shade of chocolate brown you could ever see. sometimes I yearn for it and miss it. it used to make me sad. but its bittersweet now, because as I look at it, he was a trial. I was in a bad place, he happened to be there for me at the wrong time, and I hurt him. but he showed me how not to love. he showed me how not to keep them around. I had to lose someone as perfect as him to be perfect for someone who is just as important to me.
my whole point is, sometimes things are unattainable. sometimes you do lose things. but it's up to you to make the most of it. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong- I'm just saying that nothing right has happened yet so far, but that doesn't mean it wont. you need to be patient and be self reflective, pay attention to how you're approaching things and how things are turning out. don't be afraid to change and don't be afraid to lose people. whoever you're pining for, they're not the only one. if you know you cant have them, you need to move on. losing someone is never inherently a bad thing. its one of the best things that's ever happened to me, because it made me a better lover and person, and it gave me a story and a lesson to pass down to someone like you. I promise there is love for you, waiting, or it might even already be here. you just need to keep holding on. its there, I promise.
if you ever need to talk feel free to dm me on here or on my main. Id like to hear more about your specific situation so that I can better help you, if you're comfortable and/or feel you need that. if not, I hope you can take something away from this and use it to help you. it used to be hard to admit this all but Ive made peace with it and I'm hoping it can help at least someone.
<3
#asks#anon#not an mlm post#kieran speaks#tw vent#just tagging this as a vent cuz this is a pretty heavy post n it's kind of out of character for this blog
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BEST FRIEND NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Jeno
A ⇴ ATTENTION
The protective part of Jeno would very rarely be able to ignore you when you were in a room with him. The sound of your voice was something that he was always drawn to, you had his attention unknowingly a lt.
B ⇴ BICKER
If the time felt appropriate, the two of you would absolutely bicker with one another without a care in the world. When you wanted, the two of you could be pretty stubborn with one another and determined to get your own way, you could refuse to be quiet no matter how long you had been bickering for.
C ⇴ COMFORT
Whenever he spotted that something wasn’t right, Jeno would be right beside you in an instant. He would let you do whatever you needed to do, he would never judge you for crying or for venting to him and shouting, he’d just sit and then when you were done, he would try his best to comfort and support you.
D ⇴ DISAGREEMENTS
If the two of you disagreed, it was usually because there was an underlying problem for one of you, most of the time when you were stressed or frustrated at work. You would usually let the other person have their little strop and then once they were done you would sit them down and tell them to offload, knowing that there was something more serious that was planning on the other person’s mind.
E ⇴ EARLY YEARS
From the start Jeno always knew that he trusted you, that was the most important thing to him. You helped him out and pointed him in the right direction at work which was something that he was always thankful for, and also gave him the assurance to know that he could come to you for anything. The more you spoke, the more you both began to realise that work wasn’t the only interest that you had.
F ⇴ FAMILY
Jeno’s family loved having you with them whenever they organised things for the family, you were welcomed by all of them. If you weren’t there, then his grandparents especially would want to know where you were and why you hadn’t showed up. Quite a few of his extended family had mistaken the two of you for a couple too at such events because of how well the two of you got along with each other.
G ⇴ GETTING TOGETHER
One thing that Jeno was careful of was you getting into harm when the two of you hung out, so he usually tried to go to a quieter part of the city where you were less likely to have a camera shoved in your face or have a group of fans chasing after the two of you and wanting to know exactly what you were doing.
H ⇴ HABITS
The two of you had a habit of distancing yourselves from other people and getting lost in talking as just the two of you. You would just find yourselves chatting about something else, and then when you were done, suddenly realise that the rest of the group were talking about something different entirely.
I ⇴ INSIDE JOKES
When he was silly around you, Jeno often ended up embarrassing himself, which meant you held most of your inside jokes together. You loved to use them to get your own way, knowing that the last thing that Jeno wanted was for you to share any of those inside jokes with the other members of the group.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
It was pretty rare for Jeno to get jealous, most of the time he was pretty confident as your best friend and didn’t feel as if anyone else would be able to take his place. He was smiley and he was kind to your other friends, he liked to know as much about them as possible, so he knew exactly who all of them were. If you introduced someone new, Jeno would be careful for a while until he felt that he could trust them.
K ⇴ KICKS
Jeno got a kick out of laughing with you, especially when you’d both be chuckling until your sides hurt. No one made him laugh as much as you did, quite often you could make him laugh without even being in the same room as him, but either way he just loved how you always managed to tickle him.
L ⇴ LOVE
He loved spending time with you as it always just made Jeno feel a litte more normal. There was never any expectation on how he should act or the things that he should say with you, he could just be himself. It was little things, like if he burped you wouldn’t care, or if he swore, you’d probably just laugh at him rather than scold him and remind him that he needed to be perfect in the eyes of those watching him.
M ⇴ MEETING
The two of you first met when Jeno got hired as an MC on The Show, as you already worked there. On his first day you made Jeno feel welcome, and he never forgot that about you, turning to you for support especially during the early days when he was getting used to anything as you were the most helpful staff member.
N ⇴ NONSENSE
You were the person that Jeno really let go around, he didn’t care what he did, what he sounded or looked like when he was with you, and he knew that you would never care a bit about how he acted too.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
Jeno was obsessed with how supportive you were and how you never missed anything for his career. You weren’t always there in person, but over the phone you would at least send him a text to try and encourage him.
P ⇴ PRECIOUS MOMENTS
Having you there when he performed always meant the world to Jeno, it was often the extra boost of encouragement that he needed. Nothing made him happier than when he was able to look out into the crowd and see you rooting for him, especially when he caught you singing along to one of his songs too.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
If there was one person that Jeno knew could answer any question he had, it was you. It didn’t matter how random his question was, he would ask it to you anyway and usually get an equally silly response.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS
Up in his room at the dorm, Jeno had a photo of the two, which many joked was his pride and joy. He took great care of the photo and dusted it every single day so that it was always in the best condition. If one of the boys even dared touch it, Jeno would hit them as he didn’t want the photo to be broken.
S ⇴ SUPPORT
His eyes always looked to his phone before something big happened as Jeno always got a text from you. You very rarely missed an occasion in his schedule, even if you were busy and sometimes your text reached Jeno minutes before he started, you still never forgot to give him your support and encouragement.
T ⇴ TRIPS
Quite often you would join the boys when they went on trips, Jeno loved having you there, and they all knew just how much he enjoyed having you too, so they never complained when you tagged along with them.
U ⇴ ULTIMATE
There was no one better than you in Jeno’s opinion, no one else even came close to being considered as a best friend to him.
V ⇴ VISITS
Nothing made him smile more than when you visited him at work, especially if it was for work. If something needed passing onto Jeno then you’d often offer to do it to use it as an excuse to go and see him.
W ⇴ WISDOM
One of the best things about Jeno was that he always tried to help you out, even if his advice was sometimes a little bit on the silly side.
X ⇴ XXXX
Most of the time all you’d get from Jeno was a hug, he was far from a clingy best friend, but he also wasn’t afraid of giving you a bit of squeeze if he felt that you needed a hug, or if he wanted one from you for himself.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were his favourite, Jeno simply loved being around you.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
If you stayed out too late, the two of you would always go to the person’s home whose was the closest. The two of you would stay together, mainly as you didn’t like for one another to walk home alone in the dark.
---
Masterlist
#nct#nct imagine#jeno#jeno imagine#lee jeno#lee jeno imagine#nct reaction#nct scenario#nct headcanon#nct jeno#nct drabble#nct one shot#nct fluff#jeno scenario#jeno reaction#jeno one shot#jeno drabble#jeno fluff#nct dream#nct dream imagine#kpop#kpop imagine
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Alright… let’s talk…
(Honestly, this post is mostly just an update on my life and why I’ve been off tumblr all year)
This is going to be a very long post with a lot of venting. No sugar coating it, no beating around the bush.
I’ve had some pretty messed up and awful things happen in my life, I don’t like talking about them openly. However, those things were spread out… this year SUCKED!
To explain where I’ve been, we have to start back in October when I stopped posting as much regularly.
I met a guy at work, we got along really great… but he just got out of an abusive relationship. Despite what I thought was an instant connection, he was wary of me and based on my own experience, I was guarded. We danced around this crush for weeks before our coworkers caught on and someone told him I’m single, someone told me he’s single, and we were exchanging numbers.
Despite dumping him and “wanting-nothing-to-do-with-him”, his ex continued to find reasons to message him or break into his home… so finding out he met someone, she was livid and somehow got both my number and my name. She was calling me and harassing me from an unknown number so I couldn’t even block her. When he found out, he ended up getting into a big fight with her and the ex disappeared, but it wasn’t over.
This guy and I started dating. We were happy and having fun learning all about each other, then my “friends” started cutting into the relationship and putting pressure on both of us. We weren’t even boyfriend/girlfriend yet and they were telling him to buy me stuff, give me flowers, take me places, and do things for me! If I told them to stop, they’d tell me they were just playing and to lighten up. In hindsight, I know I should of did better in stopping them, after all, it wasn’t fair to him to be harassed like that even if he said it didn’t bother him.
Things began falling apart in December. My (now ex) best friend invited me to a Christmas party. I don’t like parties, but she said he could come too. We went, he got a little drunk, she kept separating us to spend time with me, he got more drunk, I got overstimulated and annoyed, and I drove him home. Three days before Christmas, I get screenshots from his ex. He sent her drunk texts saying “I miss you, but I have a girlfriend now” and “I don’t feel happy anymore, I don’t have fun anymore”
What hurt worse a week before that, he told me I make him feel alive again and that he was falling in love with me. In less than a week, the same person who whispered he loved me told his ex he feels like nothing now that she’s gone.
I cried, vented to my friend, she comforted me, and then stabbed me in the back. I had told her not to bring it up because I wanted to talk to him and try to work this out. She told all our mutual friends and any coworker who would listen that he cheated on me right before Christmas, and guess who’s side they obviously took: mine.
I didn’t even get to talk to him before half the store knew some version of the story.
How he found out I knew was from one of his department coworkers—who has known me for years—basically going back there and asking him “what the f*ck is wrong with you?” and him getting an earful from the same people who helped push us together.
He was rightfully mad at me, but more so at my friend for sharing our business like that. We tried to get past it, but I was still hurt and I unintentionally made him very unliked employee.
I squashed the rumors, and people backed off.
His problems resolved. Mine didn’t.
I broke up with him. Deep down, I didn’t want to, but with everything happening I didn’t feel strong enough to keep going and he let me walk away saying I’m still his favorite coworker.
I cried for days, I was in love with him despite how much he hurt me.
A few weeks later I was informed the job I applied for in September was hiring again. I reapplied in January and got in, but it was going to be a long hiring process.
I still really liked my ex, it hurt seeing him, but we were still friends. My friends said it was very obvious he still cared for me, that there was a chance we could start again. He only came to me even if I had a line, he’d say hello to me, he’d make sure he said goodbye before leaving, he kept all my doodles, and I was delusional enough to believe them when they said that those were signs he still has feelings for me.
Except, he contacted his ex. The same person who abused him and harassed me multiple times was getting a second chance. It was Valentine’s Day and he told me I needed to forget him while I cried in the parking lot.
My friend dragged me out to the movies that night. I was heartbroken for this man all over again, and she was venting to me about how I was lucky since her crush doesn’t even notice her and that she’d give anything to have an one night stand with him. I just wanted to go home and she refused to let me go until we did something she could post on her Snap Story. She didn’t even care that you could see the tear marks on my face and posted a video of me acting happy and carefree in Target. I found out she posted it because she had my ex in her Snap friends and wanted him to see me “moving on”.
I was in hysterics crying when I finally drove home that I honestly shouldn’t have been driving.
I was in a very empty, sad state for weeks after that. I tried to pretend I was fine despite her telling everyone who’d listen that I was moping over a man who drunk texted his ex. The only thing I cared about at that point was getting my paperwork together to start my new job in March.
I barely spoke to my now ex, but the night before I started my new job, I got a bunch of texts from his phone. His now-girlfriend-again stole his phone and was texting me things like ���you’re a f*cking slut” “crazy c*nt” “never talk to me again you stupid b*tch”.
She blocked on everything and I was laying in bed half asleep and extremely confused what happened when he called me on her phone. He to get us to clear things up, but all it was was her accusing him of cheating and her demanding me to explain myself. The last time I saw him outside of work was January and the only interaction we had that day was when he was when he came through my line to buy his lunch. It all gets straightened out (sort of) that he never was cheating and I’m just his friend/coworker, but I have to stay blocked. Even though I understand, I cry myself to sleep because I don’t know what happened and why it happened like that (I still don’t).
I start my new job, and it’s a month of online classes and training.
I was working three jobs by the end of March.
I’m sad, I’m stressed, I’m overworked.
It is the end of April, and my friend insists we go to the movies together to hang out. I agree to meet up at the theater after I get out of my very long day of working one job in the morning and another in the afternoon. Just as I’m about to drive half a hour to the theater, she cancels on me because she made other plans with other friends, but she says can hang out after nine o’clock.
I have work in the morning and I have a midnight curfew. When I try to tell her I can’t hang out that late at night, she doesn’t answer, so I drive home. Five minutes before the movie is suppose to start, she texts me suddenly able go with me again. At this point, I’m now home and not anywheres near close to being ready to go out and the theater is over half a hour away. She gets mad at me and accuses me of not making time for her anymore.
I hit my breaking point and our friendship starts dying from this point onward.
At the end of May—right before my birthday—I had a minor procedure done to help with my headaches. Nothing major, but I had to get my head cut open and stitches on the back of my head. I worried it was cancer—luckily it wasn’t—but I didn’t feel safe telling anyone considering how things went down the last time I shared what was happening in my life.
I dropped one of my jobs temporarily to focus on the new job and the summer job. Despite my manager position at the summer job, my supervisor had retired and the new supervisor didn’t really treat me as a manager. I had been there for nine years and for some reason my only use was training new employees. All my previous responsibilities were taken away and I would work eight hour long shifts outside in a hot shack with a janky desk fan doing nothing but reading books if I wasn’t showing a new sixteen year old how the cash register worked.
I put in my two weeks notice in June and was gone by July. The only ones who cared that I was leaving were the sixteen year old girls who thought it was cool I knew the latest TikTok trends, sang along to the Taylor Swift songs, and fangirled over the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie coming out.
After an extra a few weeks I spent focusing on the new job, I went back to work at the job with my ex and my ex-friend in early August. Despite working there only on weekends, I still found myself checking the parking lot to make sure I didn’t see either of their vehicles there. Most days I’m lucky and I can get away with not seeing either.
My mental health was beginning to take a turn for the worse as summer began to come to an end. I began a “healing journey” which included working on my passions, learning new skills, getting back in touch with my inner child, falling back in love with life, and working on my health.
Lately it’s been getting bad again despite my efforts.
Between the holidays coming up making both my jobs busy, my favorite coworker at my new job is leaving and it’s bringing out all the red flags about my new big girl job. We’re understaffed, there’s clear favoritism, and a lot stress put on us because of the field we work in.
Somedays I go home and I feel like I’m in a daze.
Most days, I lay in bed and just cry because the life I planned no longer exists and I feel stuck.
All I wanted in life was to fall in love, get married to someone who made me feel safe and loved, own a home together where we could raise our kids, and one day publish a physical book.
Now a days, I don’t feel anyone could love me and even if they could I won’t be able to love them. I thought my biggest challenge was going to be publication, not romance.
I’m just here. Stuck somewhere between I want to live and wondering what’s the point? I don’t want to die and I’m not actively thinking of ways to end my life, but there are nights where I lay in bed and the idea of not waking up in the morning doesn’t sound too bad.
I just want to write silly headcanons or lovey dovey stories, but I don’t feel happy and the idea of love hurts.
I want the old me back, but she’s gone.
The new me isn’t sure who exactly she is yet either.
All I know is this is me trying.
#caribou speaks#trigger warning#tw depressing thoughts#don’t even get me started about the flash backs from 2021 being worse this year#yes I cry a lot
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Time for me to rant for a moment about the god-awful sequal by ALW, Love never dies, and Just Phantom of the opera in General
Now, I’m a big fan of Phantom, and it so happens that Erik and Raoul happen to be my favorite characters. And they definitely have tension. I won’t go into that specifically, but I did want to rant about Miss Daae. I don’t hate Christine in the first musical, but she needs a good dose of common sense. What makes me angry with Christine isn’t that she had sex with Erik. It’s that she went and married Raoul and kept that secret from him. She LET him spend what? 10 years of raising this child without knowing Gustave wasn’t his? She even named the kid she had with Erik after her Father. I understand that she’s a woman in the 18-1900s, but considering all they went through just to be together, I’m sure Raoul would appreciate if Christine told him that she had lain with Erik before she and Raoul were engaged. Again, It’s not that she did it, the fact is she lied to Raoul. She kept secrets from Raoul. That’s a bad marriage. That’s an unhealthy relationship. She is using his trusting nature and is taking advantage of it. The fact that she tells Erik before she tells Raoul makes it a whole new level of a slap to the face. Because Raoul doesn’t hear the truth from his wife. He hears it from a man he fears and loathes. What’s more is Erik tells him in the most mocking way. Say all you want about Raoul being a gambler or a drunk, but I think Christine could have stopped that before it got bad. Say what you want about Raoul Gaslighting Christine in the first musical but, NEWSFLASH! No one believed Christine! It wasn’t just him! The managers also had doubted the phantom existing. And Meg? She didn’t believe Christine when she told her about her Angel. I’ve read the book and I greatly admire all the characters. And i take into consideration that the book was written in times when men still ran the world. So Raoul, a French Noble man, who has Philippe Constantly telling him to act his age, is going to deny his belief in what seems to be a ghost story. Erik, who has problems, has my sympathy, but I Acknowledge that he’s a sick, twisted 30-50 year old man preying on a 16-20 year old girl. I know my thoughts are jumbled but I just need to vent. I do hate most of the Christines in the movies because I feel like she’s not done justice. This isn’t any actress’s fault. It’s the scripts fault. All those women are extremely talented, and I love them. All I’m saying is Raoul Haters tend to blow things out of proportions. Would you believe your friend or crush if they said there’s a ghost? Would you believe if they said there was an angel tutoring them? I sure wouldn’t jump into agreement.
Please share your thoughts. Or make an argument. I’m interested in what you guys have to say
#phantom of the opera#love never dies#raoul de chagny#christine daae#erik destler#Erik/Raoul#Christine/Raoul#Unrequited Erik/Christine#Froggy Croaks#GIVE👏🏻RAOUL👏🏻 A DANG👏🏻BREAK👏🏻#listen#I’m not saying Raoul and Erik is that much healthier if we’re going by age#Im just saying that in most situations with the bois is consensual. mostly. 89% of the time.#my Erik is 30#My Raoul is 25
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