"I was afraid of facing you. I can't even call you by your name."

THE NOVELIST: PLAYBACK (2021). DIRECTED BY: MIKI KOICHIRO.

reasons to hate cassian

Cassian saw that Azriel was romantically interested in Mor, felt jealous over it, and agreed to have sex with her knowing it would hurt Azriel.

The first time he meets Nesta, he immediately passes judgement on her for letting Feyre hunt as a child, despite the fact that she was a child herself.

Tells her he doesn't understand why her sisters love her

Bonds with feyre over their shared experiences living in poverty but treats nesta like she's a stuck up rich girl, despite her living in the same mf hovel as feyre (why does he do this ??)

He gropes her in her own home despite her not wanting him to touch her.

He sees her on the verge of tears due to anger and despair when the human queens won't send aid to the humans in Prythian, and then a scene later says "She barely seems to care about anyone other than Elain."

Will not take no for an answer when Nesta tells him to leave her alone.

When they are both clearly feeling something for each other, he still rips his hand out of Nesta's when Mor walks in. Wtf was this about anyways?

He buys Mor lingerie despite knowing Nesta is his mate. This is just weird in general. Also calls Mor his sister, despite having slept with her in the past.

Judges Nesta for not getting over her trauma in a way that is both quick and convenient to him and the inner circle.

Admits to ignoring her claim that she is enjoying the music while he drags her, against her will, out of a "seedy" tavern.

Supports Feyre and Rhys in their decision to forcibly remove Nesta from her home and relocate her to the House of Wind, on threat of deportation.

Drags her to Windhaven to "train" even when she makes it clear she has no intention of training. As a result, she is forced to sit on a rock in freezing cold temperatures.

When Mor basically tells Nesta she is just like her evil father and the rest of the Court of Nightmares because she is mean to Cassian, Cassian does not defend Nesta nor call Mor out on it.

He brings up Nesta's dead father at breakfast because she won't eat her oatmeal.

He tells her everyone hates her.

He watches her fall down a very steep flight of stairs, and then laughs at her. She was bruised and had a black eye from this fall. Cassian thinks this is funny.

Whines constantly about being a bastard nobody despite Nesta only using "bastard" as a direct insult to him one time, and in that same convo he called her a haughty witch.

He is rude to Lucien for no reason. (unforgivable)

Despite knowing Nesta is vulnerable, he fucks her at the first opportunity, even though he knows she uses sex as a coping mechanism.

Snarls and bitches at Nesta when she talks about Rhysand in a tone he doesn't like, even after telling her he can match whatever she throws at him. (He can't)

Sides with Rhysand over her constantly, even when he is in the wrong.

Every time they do engage in some sexual act, he immediately bolts, leaving her alone and confused. Refuses to communicate his feelings, acts like an asshole.

Keeps secrets from her, and agrees to participate in a vote on whether or not she deservers to know about the swords she created, which directly pertains to her powers. He whines a little, but ultimately does what he is told.

When she voices her fear that she is not good enough for him and will never deserve him, he does not correct her.

When he learns of Nesta’s love for dance and how her mother twisted it into a tool to find her a prince, Cassian turns himself into the victim. (this takes skill tbh)

He interrupts the only true canon Neris moment to shove in and dance with Nesta. Will not forgive him for this. Get off the dance floor.

When they finally admit their feelings on solstice and have a passionate and meaningful night together, he STILL leaves immediately the next morning to go hang with his homies and doesn't see her for a week. She is left alone AGAIN. (Begging him to stop doing this.)

When Nesta has finally had enough of being judged by the inner circle, she decides to tell Feyre the truth about her pregnancy. Cassian is furious with Nesta, takes no responsibility for lying to Feyre, and does not react in the slightest when Rhysand threatens to KILL Nesta. (His mate)

When Feyre tells him that she is angry with all of them and not Nesta, he does not tell Nesta, even though it would be comforting to her while she is at her absolute lowest.

When Feyre tells him Rhys is secretly happy Nesta is going to hate every second of the hike, he has a nice little laugh with Feyre at Nesta's expense.

He makes her endure a back-breaking death march in which she is forced to carry an extremely heavy backpack as punishment.

He sees that Nesta doesn't care if she dies, and does nothing to get her away from the steep cliffs. He snaps at her the entire time, even while she is clearly spiraling and about to have a mental breakdown.

She collapses at the end of each day and all he says is "at least remove the pack so I can cook myself dinner." She has not spoken in days.

He works her to the point of passing out. She literally faints, face first, onto the hard ground and he yells at her for not drinking water instead of trying to determine if she's alright.

When she finally breaks down and cries and tells him how much she hates herself, he tells her how much he loves Rhysand as an attempt to relate to her suffering. (fuck you dude seriously)

He does not correct her when she says she is unworthy of love.

He says "there is nothing broken to fix" despite forcing her to obey him and change her coping mechanisms and behave in the way he approves.

When she tells him the word mate doesn’t mean anything to her because she’s human at heart he dismisses her instantly and says "that's bullshit." No attempt to understand her feelings whatsoever as he tries to force her to admit they are mates before she is ready.

Tells her he didn't ask to be "shackled" to her after she says she didn’t get to choose to be fae, and it was forced on her. (it was)

When she calls in the bargain he immediately thinks of a way to get around it. He does not respect the boundaries she sets for herself. He thinks something like "Easy enough command to work around. I'll tell her to word her bargains more cleverly." She says she wants a week alone and the very next day he shows up to Windhaven in order to force her to speak to him.

When he learns she has been taken into the blood rite, after a lot of sulking and one feeble attempt to disobey Rhys, he thinks something like "even if I could rescue her I wouldn't, I wouldn't take away her opportunity to save herself." Meanwhile Nesta is hoping that he will be coming to rescue her.

When Nesta finally saves him, and tells him she loves him, he does not say it back. HE NEVER SAYS I LOVE YOU.

He calls Eris a coward immediately after learning he was tortured by his father, and likely has been his whole life. In the same thought, he acknowledges that Eris was willing to be tortured to protect their alliance and STILL calls him a coward.

When Rhysand is yelling at Nesta AGAIN for helping Bryce save the entire world, Cassian does not stick up for her. AGAIN! (I stg you bitch)

Amren says to Nesta, in front of Cassian, "Pray to the mother that your sister changes Rhysand's mind tonight" ABOUT WHAT? IS HE GONNA KILL HER? And Cassian does...nothing.

"Nesta's mate shifted an inch closer to her, his eyes darting between the two of them, torn. Like he didn't know who to side with in the brewing fight." I hate him so much for this !!!!

Nesta tells Ember that Cassian is "the most furious with me of anyone" WHY? Nesta even voices that she doesn't think they'll kill her. This implies Rhys has yet again threatened her life because he disagrees with her choices, and guess what: CASSIAN DOES NOTHING.

This episode.

First I need to talk about Henren and how I am absolutely heartbroken over them having endure more loss in their family. Like they are the best damn parents, stop taking their children away. And having all of those cases twisted on Hen like that as ammunition and evidence to take Mara away from her. Diabolical. Just a gut punch, I cried so hard.

There is so much about Bobby that I don’t even think I can get into it all. But I was so worried about him, I AM so worried about him. The beginning of the episode feeling like a goodbye, to him having to save Athena, and then having a heart attack. The emotional whiplash of it all. I’m so afraid to learn anything more about how that fire got started. The guilt this man has carried, and continued to carry without leaning on his wife for support. Still bottling it all up until it was too late. Just heart wrenching, and I feel for Athena, it is so hard to watch your significant other struggle like that and not know what to do but to just love them and hope it’s enough.

Buck, getting the chance to cook for the team from Bobby. He was so happy about it, so proud. And his moment with Bobby after shift was so sweet, they have come so far. He is going to be so gutted if anything happens to Bobby. That’s his dad.

And then Buck running into Kim like that, oh my god. And immediately going to Eddie’s to figure out what the hell he just saw and figure out what was going on (despite whatever his plans were for the evening). That kitchen scene was so great, they are so vulnerable with each other, so patient and understanding. Buck using the back door to be considerate of anyone else in the house because he knows how crazy and fucked up it all is. But he’s so calm and gentle with Eddie about the whole thing.

Which leads me to Eddie. My guy, you have come so far, but you are still so delusional. Shannon was not the love of your life, she was your first love. And there is a difference. Kim is insane for coming back to pretend to be Shannon to try to give you closure without all of the context, because Eddie you omitted a few key details in your retelling of your relationship’s history. And to get so wrapped up in this fantasy to allow yourself this weird moment of skewed catharsis and have Christopher walk in (with your girlfriend, which where were they without you?) and witness this woman in your life who confusingly looks like his DEAD mother. How painful for him. That kid has been through enough, and I can’t fathom how he will view you going forward and I am so scared for that. It’s so twisted. How do you explain any of this to your son? How?

I can’t stop thinking about it. 7x09, I wish you were longer.

What I don't understand about certain "discourses" is:

the whole point of writing fan-fiction is to get your own headcanon out of your head on paper / the screen in order to share it with the people who might have the same headcanon. Or who just like your headcanon. Who can see it.

And it works the same the other way around. You are looking for fan-fiction that supplements and supports your headcanon. Your interpretations. And then you read it.

In which case the writer has succeeded in sharing what's happening in their head with someone who feels the same way, and the reader has found someone who made a thing that totally works for them. Everybody is happy.

So why would you go reading fan-fictions that are clearly not a match and then complain about it?

What you do instead is: first you set your search parameters to filter for the things you like or dislike*. Then you check the tags and maybe the summary for anything you might dislike. And then you start reading.

And chances are that you, more often than not, will indeed, in your head, go "he would not fucking say that". Because in your head, he doesn't.

In which case, you hit the "back" button of your browser or close the tab and keep searching the other fics for one that might be for you.

And if it is something that squicks you so much that you don't ever want to see it again, you always have the option of preventing that by blocking - the work, the author, the artist, whatever works.

What you do NOT do is bang the writer's door down just to tell them how much you dislike their work and disagree with their take on things, and you absolutely do not assemble your herd to collectively judge them for it. In a fanfic that they wanted to share, for free, with likeminded people. Which means a fanfic that wasn't even for you.

Don't like? Don't read.

There are always going to be headcanons and fanons that are further off the mark than others. There are always fan-artists who are going to project things onto characters to deal with stuff. There are always going to be fanworks based on misremembered stuff, or misinterpreted stuff, or non-canon stuff. There are always going to be interpretations you disagree with. But all of these, too, will find their people. People who, unlike you, want it. People who might even need it.

I am not talking about meta or analysis or canon discourse here. If someone starts a fight insisting that their complete misinterpretation of a character or scene is the only correct one, they're gonna have to deal with upset people answering back.

But fanworks? Fan-fiction, fan-art, filk, that is stuff someone put a lot of work and heart and sometimes tears in for themselves and for anyone who likes it, too. It often comes from a place that is deeply personal, that makes the artist vulnerable, and that they then gift to anyone who might feel that pang of recognition. It is not just free content to consume.

The same goes for complaining and arguing about why some genres, some tropes, some fanons or pairings or fandoms are more popular than others. Which is always going to be the case.

You have no right to demand a quota from the fan-fiction writers community. You have no right to demand that someone else sacrifices their precious free time to write your headcanon or fulfills your personal needs or includes your specific minority. Fan-fiction writers are not free content creators, they don't work for you. They work for themselves. And then they gift their work to the people who might want it. Anything they do or don't do is out of their own volition and they only have to answer to themselves for it. And that is exactly how it should be.

And if you're unhappy with what you are getting, there is always the golden rule of fan-fiction:

If no one has written or wants to write the fan-fiction YOU want to read, you're gonna have to write it yourself.

(Or find someone who actually takes commissions. In that case, you would even be entitled to complain if it isn't what you paid for.)

*=thankgod for the AO3 search function!

my brain is still stuck on the image of Alex with his forehead on Henry's shoulder, hiding his face because he's "never done this before," his obscenely beautiful hand at Henry's hip. and fuckin. HENRY. rubbing Alex's back in soothing circles. all "I went to an English boarding school, dear. you're in good hands." like what the FUCK. HOW DARE THEY.

Aww bancho that's such a sweet sentiment! It's really

Oh.

S5 opener REAL

JANCY + motel confession

Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

I don't know how much more explicit the message of "THIS IS GROOMING" could have been without Be On Cloud superimposing it in all-caps text over every one of Non and his teacher's scenes. People interpreting that as "cheating" are cracked in the fucking head.

"There are moments where [Juan] manipulates other people in a similar the way they’ve been manipulating him. The scene between Jeremy and myself with the dagger is a last ditch frantic attempt at trying to win [Rodrigo] over." Do you think Juan was genuine in the knife scene? Do you think he would have killed himself? "Yeah I think so. He always does what is true inside him...It wasn’t simply about the eventual confrontation, but all about the richness of this twisted family make-up."

my timephoon hot take is that the episode was literally fine, it's the episodes that came AFTER it that fucked things up

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

reblog to gently feed him a cheese puff out of the palm of your hand

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.