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keets-writing-corner · 3 months

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guess who's still thinking about Lucifer >.<

anyways thought it'd be fun, given my previous post about his dissociation with conversations, to try and guess what his takeaways were from his phone call with Charlie based on his reactions

Maybe I'm wrong about what he's catching and what he's missing but either way I had fun

strike through= what he missed bold=what he caught neither bold nor strikethrough= he might've heard it/made it out through the white noise, but not enough to connect the dots RED= only heaven is in red cuz you cannot convince me otherwise that that's not a trigger word for him

Idk thought it’d be fun to try and guess what Lucifer is ACTUALLY hearing with his dissociation filter on let's GO

Lucifer: [insert absolute fail of hello]

Charlie: Hi Dad! Lucifer: Hey! How are ya? Oh! Wh-wh-where are you these days? Charlie: You know where I am, Dad… I’ve told you before…

Lucifer: You hAve? Oh. yeah Uh, erm well I um uh

Charlie: I told you when you called me five months ago! Or did you not listen?

Lucifer: No no no just forgot! I just forgot. I’ve been really busy with you know… um. iMpOrTanT tHiNgS

Charlie: Well I’m actually running a hotel to rehabilitate sinners, maybe you saw our commercial?

Lucifer: No? Sadly I… missed it! Lucifer: You know I haven’t been watching much TV lately! Scrambles the brain! Lucifer: but hey! A hotel! Fun!

Charlie: Listen, Dad, I’ve got kinda… a big ask?

Lucifer: -spit take- Yeah?! Of course! Anything in my power is yours for the asking you just name it

Charlie: I need to speak to heaven! Well, whoever’s in charge up there above Adam above anybody, I need to go to the top!

Lucifer: NO Lucifer: no no no no Lucifer: That’s uhahah no…

Charlie: Look! Dad! I don’t ask you for much. I never have, but this-this is really important to me. It’s the most important thing I’ve ever done and I… need… you… I need your help

Lucifer: I-... I don’t know Charlie

Charlie: Please just- Come see what I’m trying to do. You’ll see why it’s a really good idea and heaven is bound to agree if I get the chance to talk to them

Charlie: Please dad

Lucifer: wait… you’re… INVITING ME OVER??? Lucifer: ABSOLUTELY Lucifer: I’LL BE THERE IN AN HOUR

___

so yeah, he can semi follow along but like crucial bits and pieces ARE being left out

#lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel #dialogue #dissociation #this has been on my mind since the episode aired tbh #I think in the notes of my last post (I am not finding it for the life of me ;-; If I do I'll do an edit and credit them)#someone was talking about how this could also be nervousness as well #and you know what #yeah absolutely true #nervous about talking to his daughter #and the dissociation absolutely doesn't help #so nervous about navigating a conversation too #I do not think I'll do the whole episode #I really just wanted to explore the phonecall tbh #but legit I'm convinced when Charlie introduced Vaggie #all he heard was “-aggie!” and just defaulted to the only name he could think of that ended like that #tbh he's probably missing chunks of words and has to figure out what the word was based off of prefixes/suffixes #cuz that clearly happened with Vaggie #but it's already a challenge to piece together what he DID hear and what he didn't hear #so imma leave it at this #lowkey this is giving me loads of writing ideas for my own stuff

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chaotictomtom · 11 months

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head in hands being so brave abt being alive rn

#if sleeping all day is nice for body but might cause me to dissociate in and out absolutely every second awake mibbe cutting down on sleep🧠#even if. sleep is actually smth that helps when i feel switchy af and it doesn't seem to stop #so actually idk if running on 4h of sleep is the best idea #but running out ot options!!!!!!#DID is kicking my ass so hard and inm so alone in this!!!!!!#im scared ive absolutely lost the ability to function and im scared this is the only purpose i have as a host znd!!! idon't want to go lol #tomtom_is_rambling

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moonstruckme · 8 months

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hi okay hi you’ve probably seen me in your notifications for the last twenty minutes because i am absolutely obsessed with the way you write poly!marauders.

i was wondering if you could write something about the (fem)reader who slowly starts dissociating when things get tough and she’s not really present and while they’re concerned, they just show their love for her through caring until she comes back to herself. it’s completely okay if you can’t!!!

Thanks honey, I'm so glad you enjoy my blog! Love the pfp btw, I personally think that was Spence’s best hair. I know everyone experiences dissociation differently so I did some research and I hope this is alright! Many apologies if it’s not accurate

cw: dissociation, brief mention of sexual assault

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 910 words

You’re grateful to Sirius for defending you. You are, but the man’s hand on your ass had caused some deer-in-the-headlights glitch in your brain, and the yelling that ensued only made you retreat further into yourself. You know, distantly, that it’s Sirius’ voice, and that he’s yelling for you, not at you. But it’s all noise to you, a ruckus that means danger, and then there’s movement, and more hands, and everything that would be too much if you weren’t so far away.

You feel like you’re sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool, everything above the surface of the water muffled and distorted. What happens up there doesn’t concern you. It’s peaceful down here, even if there is a certain wrongness to it. You know you don’t belong here, not really, but you can hold your breath and try to make it last.

“Baby?” a voice says. “Hey, you okay?”

“Don’t shake her, that’s not going to help.” You can’t tell if it’s another voice or the same. The comfort it brings you doesn't change, and you can’t force yourself to care either way. You can’t care at all, really, about anything. You wonder if you should be worried about that, but feelings are something out of your reach, and maybe it’s better that way.

“Something’s wrong with her.”

“I can see that, love. We’re almost home.”

“You don’t think she’s hurt, do you?”

More hands. You want to flinch away, but it’s like you’re moving through a thick sludge. “You’re alright, dove, I’m just checking that you’re okay. Do you hurt anywhere?”

“Why isn’t she talking?”

“I don’t know. I think…maybe she’s just overwhelmed. I don’t think she’s bleeding anywhere.”

“Fuck. Shit, is this a panic attack? Do you think she needs a doctor or something?”

“Let’s just give her a few minutes.”

There’s more talking, but you give up on trying to decipher it. After a while, something cushy comes up underneath you, or maybe you go down onto it. Your hand is warm, and then it’s pressed to soft fabric. “Feel my heart going in there, baby? Can you focus on that for me?”

You’ve made such a cozy home for yourself in your head that it takes you some time to realize everything around you has gone quiet. There’s a persistent bumping at your palm.

“Don’t tight hugs help with panic attacks?”

“We don’t know if that’s what this is. What if it scares her?”

“Hey, angel, can you hear me? Come back to us.”

The wrongness of where you are is starting to set in, the voices at the surface louder and more insistent. You think that maybe your chest is starting to ache.

Something moves your feet, and then you're touching something interesting. Soft and a bit rough, familiar. Carpet.

“Breathe, honey. Good. Again. We’ve got you, take your time.”

You’re conscious of your breaths first, the effort it takes to fill and empty your lungs. Then the plush material under your thighs; you’re sitting on something. Awhile longer, and you realize you’re blinking, your eyes intermittently dry and then not. Eventually you register your hand, pressed to a beating heart. Sirius’ heart.

You don't try to speak yet as you take in your surroundings. You’re home, on the couch, and someone’s taken off your socks and shoes, your feet bare on the carpet. You don’t know how any of that happened, which is unsettling, but the realization that you can feel unsettled comes with a sharp relief.

Sirius’ finger swipes over your wrist where he’s gripping your hand to his chest, and your next exhale is shaky.

“Dove?” Remus’ tone is cautious.

“Sorry,” you say croakily. “I don’t know what that was.”

Sirius sighs, letting your hand drop from his chest, and Remus grips your ankle from where he sits by your feet, stroking his thumb over your achilles’ tendon in a way that you suspect is as much for him as it is for you.

“Fucking scary, is what it was,” James says, voice thick with tears. “Can I hug you?”

You nod, and his arms come around you with his usual eagerness, though you notice his hands trembling just a little. You squeeze his shoulders tightly.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, no sorries, okay?” Sirius says, though even he sounds exhausted from what you’ve just put them through. “You obviously couldn’t help it. Do you feel alright now?”

“Yeah,” you say, though you’re unsure. You feel relatively normal at the moment, but the knowledge that you can slip into numbness that easily doesn’t allow for much comfort. “I’m just…really tired, for some reason.”

Remus hums. “I think your brain was doing a lot of work just now. Makes sense you’d need a rest.”

James releases you from the hug but only sits back far enough to see your face, his hands lingering at your waist like he’s worried you’ll slip away if he lets go. “Want to cancel dinner and have a night in, sweetheart?”

You nod, your throat closing as warmth rushes to your face. “Yes, please.”

“Hey,” Sirius says at your tears, voice lightly chiding but full of concern, “what’s wrong? You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m okay,” you promise, swiping under your eyes. “Just, thank you guys for helping me. That was really scary.”

“I know,” Remus says, palm sliding up your leg as he rises to give you a hug of his own. “I know it was, honey, but you don’t have to worry. We’ve always got you.”

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chronicbeans · 3 months

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Platonic Alastor x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader

Hehe not me self-projecting again! Anyways, these are kinda based on my own experiences, but I'm trying to make them more generalized.

TW: Maladaptive daydreaming, escapism, dissociation, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of compulsive behavior/OCD, invasion of privacy, manipulation, peer pressure, yandere-ish behavior (I believe he defaults to those behaviors, no matter the type of relationship), mention of cannibalism (this is Alastor we're talking about...), Alastor is a shitty toxic friend in this

• He's absolutely fascinated by the way your mind works. Even before he knows what is going on, or begins to get close to you, he can tell you are an interesting person. The way you look so distant, like your mind is checked out and flying to far off places without you, is something he hasn't seen before. He wants to pick and prod at your brain to see what's going on.

• He doesn't want to do so the easy way, though. No. Instead, he wants to drag out this process for as long as possible, and make sure you twist and squirm all the while. He loves to make people uncomfortable, after all! That's his specialty, in his opinion, besides his radio show.

• He'll start off with introductions, of course, which is probably when he first got interested in you. That dreamy look isn't so easy to see from a distance, after all. The second he looked into your eyes while shaking your hand, though, it became obvious. How hadn't he seen it before? If he saw this look when he first entered, he would've talked to you first out of the crew at the Hazbin Hotel. Well, besides Charlie... But, that's just because she owns the place.

•The uncomfortable prodding starts in an instant. One of his first questions after getting your name is not "What made you want to come to the hotel?" or "What can you provide to help the hotel?" It's more like "How did you die?", "What are your major vices?", and "What sin have you committed to be brought to Hell?" He wants to test the waters. See what he can get away with without completely scaring you off. If you run away and avoid him, it'd be harder to learn what he wants, and make you uncomfortable while doing so.

• Regardless of whether or not you answer, you are probably a little put off from him. Not enough to completely avoid him, since you can see how some of those questions might help him help the hotel, but enough to be uncomfortable... Which, in his opinion, is perfect!

• He's great at hiding, so if you start noticing him mentioning things you thought were private, you really shouldn't be surprised. He can, quite literally, hide in the shadows at times. He quickly takes notes of your little habits, including ones you might be embarrassed about.

• He may watch you pacing around your room, mumbling to yourself as if you are playing pretend all alone. Or, maybe, he's hiding over your shoulder while you're writing down some elaborate storyline. Perhaps he's watching you in plain sight, seeing you make a bunch of odd facial expressions at seemingly nothing. He may not know why you do this, but he wants to. He would've suspected some sort of substance use, considering it's Hell. Lots of people do so. However, he's never seen you near anything that would cause such behavior. So, that's off his list, for now.

• So, step 2 of his plan begins! As his good ol' pals Husk and Niffty to try befriending you! Or, at the very least, get information from you that you aren't comfortable telling him. Then, have them report back to him with their findings. Of course, Husk seems agitated by the request, but obliges. Niffty seems more than happy to do as he asks, though. A happy worker is a good worker, so he has more hope in Niffty getting the big story than Husk.

• Surprisingly, though, he's proven wrong. The most Niffty got was your fashion sense, favorite types of stories, and that you are very "quiet". Yes, the fashion and types of stories were new to him... But what he seems important, the reason you act so oddly, isn't there. Husk, however, was able to get a lot more out of you, somehow.

• Husk mentions you talking to him, one night, after he saw you skipping oddly down the hall and pass the bar where he was cleaning the glasses before closing it for the night. You seemed extremely embarrassed to have been seen, mentioning that you thought he was asleep already. He then just, politely asked a few questions...? And got answers? How?

• Alastor immediately demands answers, only for Husk to reply "I don't know how to describe it like they did! Most I understood is that they daydream too much. Seems like it's a constant thing going on. They like to pace and prance while doing so, sometimes, but don't like getting caught."

• Now it begins to make more sense... the writing, the talks about stories with Niffty, the prancing and pacing... and most importantly, that dreamy, distant look you have. He can even see why you'd make odd expressions. You're reacting to your own thoughts... He doesn't understand it. He's never heard of anything like this before, especially during his time as a human, but he can tell one thing for certain: You must be his friend, now. Whether you like it or not.

• You are so different from everyone else he's met, you see, and he loves things that go against the norm. Now, while you may or may not be considered normal or not too different by others, you're different and abnormal to him. You somehow succeed in both being polite, smart, and funny to mess around with, while also barely being able to pay attention to the world around you. He's always thought that those two things were mutually exclusive. How can you learn when you can't stop being in your own head? How can someone be polite and not listen? The funny part, though... He can kind of see that. He finds surprising you be sneaking up behind you and tapping your shoulder funny every now and again. Nevertheless, you are going to be his friend.

• Soon enough, you notice his behavior changing, a bit. Less following you around, less vaguely threatening words, and more... quiet. It's eerie, coming from him. However, you also notice him trying to talk to you about stories and books he's heard and read. Even things he's heard during his human life, such as Creole folktales and other stories he's heard in New Orleans, Louisiana back in the 1920s-1930s. It's a bit like a completely different side to him you never expected to see, and never really wanted to, but you aren't really complaining. It's better than him deciding to terrorize you for fun and him asking invasive questions...

• A little more time passes and he decides to ask about small habits, disguising them as him just now noticing those habits, when he's probably noticed them while spying on you months prior. Nothing too extreme. Mostly just your expressions, how it seems like your attention is somewhere else... Nothing like your pacing, prancing, or acting. He wants to establish that he knows about these tiny little things, and now that you're more comfortable with him, you're much more likely to answer. That way, once he moves onto the bigger, more personal questions, you'll already have been eased into feeling comfortable with it.

• Eventually, you get to the point where you feel comfortable calling him a friend. He's already considered you one since that conversation with Husk, but it's a start. Now, he's gotten the lovely privilege of being able to know more about what's going on in that lovely little brain of yours... well, "little" brain is definitely an understatement. From how you describe your imagination, he'd be led to believe your mind must be as vast as the Library of Alexandria.

• Vast worlds, complicated plotlines, complex characters... you talk of odd tales you've created, all in your brain. Ones you've had in your mind for years, some you came up with on a whim, and others, still, that are still being developed. Stories that have been being created over the span of real life years, ones you started then dropped... All of which are being held in your head, with only a miniscule fraction of it being written onto paper. He's truly impressed, genuinely respecting your odd talent, as he sees it. You've perfected the craft of creativity, while he's perfected the art of talking to an audience. Even better, is that he got to learn whether or not his theory of you taking inspiration from stories you've heard was right. Which explains his sudden mentions of stories he's heard in life.

• Now... if only you'd let him tell some of your stories on his radio show! If you wouldn't like that, then he'd probably ask you to write something for his show. That way, it isn't as personal to you, and you wouldn't even need to be credited if you're embarrassed by it! He could just say a random listener sent it in, and he thought it'd be great to read, to show his appreciation for his adoring fans. The world simply must hear the greatness of your mind, dear, and he is not going to stop annoying politely asking you to write something until you do.

• Another thing he might try is to see if he can figure out why you partake in this little habit of yours. He's never heard of it, though he has asked some sinners and demons if they have. Be it Charlie, Angel Dust, some of the other overlords, or a friend of his we haven't seen or heard of, before. More modern sinners keep mentioning a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming, describing it as a symptom of other mental health diagnoses... but that's the problem. That fits you, you've mentioned that you know of that and it fits you... but that's also just a symptom. Well, a few argue that it may be its own thing, but it is not an official diagnosis yet. So, for now, he wants to figure out why you do it.

• Is it depression? Anxiety? Do you really want to escape from something, and you're doing so by hopping into that little dream land of yours? Is it some sort of compulsion? You seem to not really be able to control it that well, after all, and others have mentioned links to OCD, as well as other disorders that can cause compulsions. Is it sheer, absolute, chronic boredom? Speak to him, dear! What is it? Do you even know? If not, he'll assume it's the boredom option... for now.

• He's obsessed with you, really. You're his friend, and he's very obsessive over them, in his own way. He is as far away from normal when it comes to showing real affection for others, which wouldn't be bad, if it weren't for the fact that a main part of it is him being absolutely suffocating when he's around. That, and he can be terrifying... He's the Radio Demon, after all! It's just worse for you than his other friends, though, because you are different. Being different is a really important thing for him, really, alongside being polite, smart, and funny. Not required, unlike the last three traits, but it makes you more likely to be his friend. You hit the lottery by achieving being all four, but it must be the worst lottery prize in the world.

• He holds the thought that you should just be friends with him. Now, you don't have to be... but, he'd prefer it. If you really want outside friends, sure! You just can't be friends with his other friends. He claims they'd "taint" you with how violent they can be. Plus, since he's friends with other cannibals, some of which do serve sinner and demon meat to others without telling them, he genuinely does worry about your safety and wellbeing if you met those specific friends of his. For your friends, he wants to meet them. He needs to in order to deem them worthy of being your friend, and to make sure it's not someone he knows and is friends with. You deserve perfection, and who knows perfection better than Alastor, yes? After all, he can see that you're perfect. That is more than enough evidence, dear.

• You're one of the few people who he doesn't mind having your attention not on him. Part of your charm, in his opinion, is your lack of attention. All he asks is that you tell him about a story of yours. What is going on in your head that's so important? Oh, a great war between this and that? A psychological horror? Cities beneath the sea? Tell him about it. He finds it fun! Especially if he can see any possible inspiration from events or other stories. He likes to hear your voice almost as much as he likes to hear his own, which you'll realize is more of a compliment than it might sound like, once you truly get to know him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #maladaptive daydreaming #alastor x reader #platonic headcanons

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sysmedsaresexist · 1 year

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I've heard one of my posts is causing waves

Here's some more things that are normal in DID/OSDD systems, and some weird myths, in no particular order

- Not realizing you're a system until later is normal (average age of system discovery is 18-21)

- It's rare for children to display distinct alters (not impossible, just a rare occurrence in a rare disorder (based on numbers, it's considered rare, yes), alters tend to form in mid-teens)

- Feeling as though you "created" an alter is normal (related to unconscious feelings of control over an uncontrollable situation, and/or tricking yourself into an explanation, also, if you have a need to be filled, the brain WILL provide)

- "mixed origin systems" are totally normal for DID/OSDD. I have a couple alters that could be considered "endogenic", but I'm really just... DID, with normal alters forming in normal ways

- Alters forming at any age/time is normal (you can form a brand new alter at fifty, after having undergone complete fusion, once the ability is there, it's always possible to split)

- Alters don't always appear immediately after a traumatic event (alters can take YEARS to come to front after forming, making it impossible to tie them to specific events unless THEY'RE aware of the connection)

- Alters can form from stress, not just trauma (and the brain is notoriously good at hiding how stressed you are from yourself)

- Comfort splits ARE normal in DID/OSDD

- The amnesia criteria in DID doesn't mean you need to experience amnesia day-to-day, you still have DID if you can't remember childhood events but have good communication now

- The dysfunction criteria is redundant and circular, where the symptoms themselves fulfill the criteria, and as per the DSM, doesn't imply any inherent need for treatment or distress-- so being happy, loving your system, feeling like your system helps you more than it hinders you, all normal (and good!) but still DID/OSDD

- OSDD 1a does not involve alters as they're known, but states or modes that influence you, and amnesia occurs during these periods of influence; OSDD 1b involves "emotional amnesia" only (which is just a stupid, fancy word for dissociation (an emotional disconnect from a memory) that doesn't actually exist in the medical world)

- You can have as many EPs and ANPs as you'd like. The majority of systems with OSDD feel as though the one ANP theory doesn't fit them, and there have recently been updates to theories to acknowledge this

- Integration is the lowering of dissociative barriers to allow for better communication between system members, and is absolutely necessary for functional multiplicity (fusion is the joining of two or more alters). These definitions come from the ISSTD, and it IS recognized by the ISSTD that integration and functional multiplicity are viable and attainable treatment goals. Keep this in mind when conversations about these topics come up-- if you can communicate clearly with alters, you're already well integrated. It's not scary, it's not bad, and no one can or will make you fuse.

- CPTSD, the basis of dissociative disorders and DID, presents very differently from PTSD -- mostly presenting as a negative view of the self and vigilance rather than the flashbacks and nightmares you'd see in PTSD (it's quite similar to BPD, but the view of the self is negative rather than unstable). If you resonate with some aspects of BPD and have a system, and you don't experience the "typical" presentation of PTSD, that's normal. That's CPTSD (complex PTSD, not chronic PTSD), maybe read up on it.

- You don't need to know your trauma to acknowledge that you have DID/OSDD, and no one should be pushing that you search for trauma. Who cares, move at your own pace, maybe you'll never figure it out, and that's perfectly fine. People who push others about their trauma will face my wrath.

- Trauma isn't an action, but a REACTION to an event. What traumatizes one person, may not have any effect on another person, and vice versa. This isn't about what might have happened to you, but how you felt about it. There is no Trauma Olympics, and people who play that way are ridiculous. Trauma reactions are personal and unique, and come from anything-- bullying, isolation and loneliness, abuse. And yes, other disorders can make you more susceptible to trauma reactions. Having autism or ADHD or BPD, EDs, psychosis, schizophrenia-- all of these create more opportunities for trauma reactions, and make someone more susceptible. That doesn't mean you're not trauma based. It doesn't mean those things caused your system. It means those things made it harder for you to navigate life and left you more susceptible to trauma. That's it.

- MADD is typically trauma based

There's so, so many more. Other DID/OSDD systems, feel free to add on, endogenic systems, ask if something is normal.

#syscourse #actuallyplural #actuallymultiple #actuallytraumagenic #actuallyosdd #actuallydid #osdd #did #endogenic #totally normal things

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a-libra-writes · 1 year

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If you don’t mind, may I request headcanons for the lackadaisy characters reacting to the reader(GN) saving them by taking a bullet that was going to hit them and almost dies from it?

GN reader, most of these imply the reader and character are in a romantic relationship or at least close. obvs mentions of injury, blood, morphine, hospitals etc and the angst that follows! Our kitties arent doing well :(

♣️Rocky - The fact you took a bullet for him is ... a lot. That takes processing, something Rocky isn't good at. It ends up manifesting as a long, drawn-out anxiety attack that gives him jitters, a little dissociation and mild mania. Eventually the Arbogasts asks Freckle to just get him out of the house and do something with him; they'd call when you woke up. When you're awake, the tabby is making his usual quips and chatter, but his off-kilter mood is obvious to even your morphine-addled mind. Rocky's more disheveled than usual and clearly hasn't slept. His shirt still has blood on it - your blood.

He's is ready to go absolutely feral on the person who did this, channeling all his fear and guilt into a single plan of revenge. He's so full of this manic energy that it's hard for him to keep still, let alone eat or sleep. But first! You're awake! Even if it's clear he's unwell, he's trying to smile and assure you that you'll be back on your feet in no time! So don't you worry, he and Freckle will take care of it. No amount of exhausted arguing will divert him from this.

You're stuck in bed for days, so you don't know exactly what happens. It's up to Freckle to tell you, as he went along with his cousin - but he's tight lipped about it, and fidgety, like always. Once that's dealt with, Rocky's fixating switches to fussing over you. And his heart is in the right place, but ... he's exhausted, all that lack of sleep and emotional turmoil catching up. Eventually he just passes out on the bed and you let him curl up at your side for a while. Rocky's excellent company (and a questionable nurse) in the following weeks. He has plenty of stories, music and chatter to keep you occupied.

♣️Freckle - He is, uh, not coping with this well. At all. He jumps to action to shoot whoever did this... Several times, and keeps shooting long after they're dead. He doesn't stop until his cousin calls out to him. Freckle is in something of a daze on the way to the back-alley doctor - wow, people have a lot of blood in their body, but now it's all over you - and doesn't start throwing up until the bullet gets pulled out of you.

He's sent out of the makeshift operating room because even Rocky can tell he won't cope with it. How could he? Isn't this his fault? Maybe if he reacted sooner, it wouldn't have happened. The poor guy is sleepless for days and consumed with too much guilt to visit until he's all but dragged in your sickroom by Ivy. Freckle fidgets often and struggles to look into your eyes - it goes a long way to just reassure him and promise you aren't angry. He shot the bastard who did it, after all.

He visits most days, bringing soup (his mother seems to think you have a terrible flu?) and slowly, slowly talking more and relaxing. He has a better bedside manner than he thinks; Freckle's a fairly quiet companion and has a good idea of what you need. Changing your bandages makes him feel pretty awful, but he's a good help. If you decide to continue bootlegging after your recovery, he's extra jumpy and protective of you.

♣️Ivy - Ohhh nonononono no, this is not happening. She's grabbing your shoulders and yanking you toward her, ignoring the blood getting all over her. She's a mess and doesn't even think of the danger you're both in; the bullets and gunfire keeps on all around while she holds onto you and tries to pull you to safety. Small as she is, with pure determination and adrenaline, she makes it.

You don't remember much after that, but the girl's right in your face as you slowly come to. Ivy looks a complete mess; having been crying for the the last hour, and before that watching intently while a bullet was yanked out of you. At least she washed the blood off her arms, but the clothes she was wearing are utterly ruined. Ivy alternates between chattering apologies and quiet fidgeting, even if you're too loopy to respond properly.

Eventually she has some strings pulled to get you to a nice hospital, with no one asking questions. This whole situation alters her for the worse; she gets more frequent nightmares and struggles to focus in school. Nearly every day she comes by you bring you snacks and magazines and nice flowers for your room; sometimes seeming a little frantic, like she was trying to make up for something.

♣️Mitzi - She is furious. Someone told her when you woke up, and you hear her swishing dress and clacking heels rushing down the hall. Her eyes are red, her make up is ruined and she practically shakes you. Even though you're still full of morphine, she demands you promise to never, EVER do that again. Zib has to remind her that a) you're still drugged out of your mind and b) the bandages are getting bloody.

While she'd want you in a proper hospital, they'd ask too many questions. You stay in the apartment above the cafe. She's too squeamish (and guilty) to help change your bandages, but she does bring you food, some records to listen to, an extra pillow, and so on. It's obvious Mitzi struggles to talk casually, as if nothing happened. When you're sleeping, she'll sit at your bedside. If it seems like the wound - or maybe a dream? - is bothering you, she gently pets your hair until you settle.

♣️Viktor - He's only in shock for a few seconds before instinct and absolute fury takes over. The perpetrator is not alive for long, but their last moments are painful. Not that you're around to see it - you've longed passed out from bloodloss. The only thing keeping Viktor from totally rampaging is the awareness that you're in a critical condition.

His old soldier training takes over; he's able to push emotions aside and get you to Elsa, the only one he trusts with this situation. While you're being operated on, he's still stewing. If whoever is responsible still has friends or a leader around, well, that won't be the case for long. Mordecai considers stopping the big Slovak to make him see reason ... but just ends up helping him instead. 'Keeping him out of trouble', the shadowy man claims, but really he's just as angry.

Once you're awake and coherent, it takes Viktor a while to sit in with you. He's disheveled and tired, and has trouble meeting your eyes. His bedside manner is ... basically nonexistent, but earlier Elsa walked him through the basics of what foods are best and how the bandages need to be fixed. After this, he's adamant about not wanting you on jobs any more, even if you're recovering well. The fact you took the bullet for him is even worse, in his mind. He could've taken it; you should have let him take it.

♣️Zib - Nope, he's not okay. Definitely not coping well with this situation. It's bad enough he got involved in one gunfight, now a second and this happens? He wants to get the hell out of this speakeasy. Anyone can see how jittery he is. Zib alternates between smoking too much and avoiding your sickbed, or drinking too much and sleeping by your side. When it's two am and he's resting beside you and listening to your labored breathing, he really wishes he was shot instead.

He thinks he's pretty shit at caring for anyone, but he's actually not bad, especially when he's half-sober. Helping with the bandages gets him feeling queasy and guilty, but getting food and keeping you company isn't so bad. Now and then, he asks if you still want to hang around this place - what do you think about leaving, with him and the band? If you're a triggerman for Lackadaisy, why don't you reconsider? Is it really worth it? And so on.

Expect a lot of late-night discussions when he's restless and can't keep his mind wandering. What if you had died, what if you get sick like this, what if you just left with him? Where would you all go? More than once you've fallen asleep in the middle of his talking, but he doesn't mind.

♣️Atlas - Everything is spinning, but you can feel his arms around you. You don't realize how much blood has soaked through his suit. And for the first time, you hear him shout - his voice resonates through his chest as you rest against it.

Eventually you wake up in a hospital bed, though the blanket is something from home and there's flowers all over the windowsill - wait, is that a radio? The nurses don't say much, but you're also not in a state to talk. You aren't sure if it's been one day or many, but finally he visits. He looks more tired than you've seen him, and far more solemn. He puts his hand on your's and explains you'll be leaving the hospital soon and recovering in his manor, along with a live-in nurse. This is quite a shock if you two aren't married, but if you are, it's nice to go home again. The guest room is already set up with what you need.

You don't hear whatever came of that triggerman, though the Lackadaisy staff whisper about Viktor and Mordecai being away for some time. Atlas doesn't want you about the cafe or speakeasy anymore, or out on your own in general. It'll take time for you to recover, but even longer for his paranoia and agitation to lessen. He seems the same to his business associates and employees, but those who know him better ...

🏵Serafine - She only pauses for a moment, then jumps to action. Serafine doesn't have to say anything to Nico, he's already picking you up while she mows down whoever shot you. Outwardly she's calm, inwardly she's furious. At the gunman, at herself, at you. Well, they keep a doctor on call for this reason. Serafine holds you very carefully in the car ride to the hotel, alternating between talking about revenge and reassuring you that you'll be just fine. No need to fret.

Everything's fuzzy after that. Serafine isn't there when you awaken, but you're in her bed. If you're a girl, you're probably in her nightie, too (when did your clothes get changed?). There's warm food on the nightstand, enough morphine to take out an elephant and a little vase of flowers. It's like any other morning when you wake up in her bed, well. Except the drugs and the hole in your chest.

Eventually she comes back, with more food and a disturbingly calm demeanor. Whoever that gunner was, well, they're dealt with, and so is their boss. Isn't that good news, cher(ie)? You just rest up and you'll be back on your feet. The stitches are neat and the bandages aren't too tight - understandable, considering how much she was threatening the doctor. Nico tells you all about it later.

🏵Nico - He uh, probably manhandles you more than he should as he gets you into the car. He wants to retaliate - to bash in the gunman's head rather than put a bullet in it - but Nico knows a bad shot when he sees it. He grits his teeth and keeps you in his arms while Serafine floors it, not caring how much blood gets on his clothes or white coat.

As much as he wants to sit in on the operation, it makes him restless. So he settles for pacing in and out of the room, often reminding the doctor how unfortunate it'll be for him if something goes wrong. He's quietly boiling in the perpatrator, too; by the time you're bandaged and tucked in bed, he and his sister already have a plan of retaliation. While you're still doped up and asleep, he gives you a kiss on the brow and disappears to get the job done.

Once you come to, there's flowers on the nightstand and a maid coming in with room service. You stay in the Savoy's suite during your recovery; Nico only sleeps on the couch because he moves a lot in his sleep and doesn't want to disturb you (he still naps right by your side). He's not careful enough to help with changing bandages, but he's excellent company when you're bored. Nico only laughs when you bring up the gunman. Old news, he's taken care of it. He'll even share the grisly details.

🏵Mordecai - He doesn't react to the blood immediately. His mind tells him to clear the area first - but. That's a lot of blood. He's acutely aware the bullet was meant for him. The logical side starts to short-circuit once you're in the backseat of the car, bleeding all over the coat he wrapped around you. He knows how to put pressure on a wound, and he thinks he's staying calm, but he snaps viciously at Niko to stop screwing around and drive faster.

He bothers the doctor so much while they work - hovering, observing, commenting - he gets pulled out of the room. Whoever shot you is going to be dealt with, and whoever ordered the hit. Mordecai just wants to make sure you'll survive the next few hours, as that'll determine how he deals with them.

The first few days he's agitated and not sleeping well. Mordecai alternates between fussing and fixating on your wound, and bothering the hell out of whoever's looking after you. He really doesn't settle until the gunman is well and dead, and you're more coherent and talking. Expect lots of lecturing about how stupid it was for you to get in the way, how you need to fix the bandage this way or that, and have you been eating? When Mordecai's away, the Savoys like to come in and cackle about what he did to the gunman. They were also apparently given instructions by him not to bother you, which they gleefully ignore.

🏔Wick - He's completely frozen in place, stuck by distress and panic. It occurs to him to shout for help not when more bullets fly by, but when you start coughing up blood. He has enough wherewithal to get you to the hospital - somehow driving without crashing into anything - but once you're taken away, he just crumples. He's utterly distraught.

Once his mental faculties have recovered just enough to let him stand, he paces. And paces. The receptionist in the waiting room manages to get him to make a phone call; he tries to inform Lacy to just take the day off tomorrow, but the events of the evening all come spilling out. If you both were innocent bystanders in the incident, that's one thing, but if you were involved in some criminal business and that's what put Wick in the line of fire ... well, Lacy has some choice words for her hopelessly infatuated boss.

Once you're stable and resting, he finally allows himself to breathe. The receptionist all but shoves him home because he looks like a mess and he's frightening other patients. By the time you can accept visitors he's (somewhat) rested and bringing you flowers. There's still an awkwardness, so ... at some point, talking about everything is gonna have to happen. But Wick wants you to rest first, and he needs to figure out his own thoughts, without the whiskey.

#ive rewritten this many times im tired of looking at it LMAO pls enjoy #lackadaisy x reader #rocky rickaby x reader #freckle mcmurray x reader #ivy pepper x reader #viktor vasko x reader #mitzi may x reader #zib zibowski x reader #atlas may x reader #serafine savoy x reader #nico savoy x reader #mordecai heller x reader #wick sable x reader #sedgewick sable x reader #calvin mcmurray x reader #dorian zibowski x reader #nicodeme savoy x reader

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andrewminyardslawyer · 17 days

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Alright here's my predictions/wishful thinking for The Sunshine Court

- Jean showers differently because of the water boarding trauma

- he dissociates A Lot

- chronic pain. Especially his hands. I feel like he has migraine attacks all the time too (me?? Projecting?? Never!)

- either hates the dark or needs it because he's so out of his depth and it's familiar

- I'm desperately hoping the Trojans don't hate him for being short with his responses and general demeanor. Please love this boy with all your hearts I'm begging

- Jean and Renee don't work out because she saved his life and he feels like he owes her or something similar. To quote Nora "she is not his answer and he isn't hers"

- I know I said it back in November but the "love story" is Jean and learning that who is is isn't shameful. The love story is Jean and being alive (who/if he ends up with someone should be the least of our concerns. I just want him to be as close to happy as possible and healthy)

- Jean is going to have absolutely no idea how to function in the world. Everything about his life has been scheduled and decided for him and now he has zero guidance and no one who knows what happened to him to help. Classes, books, food, travel, down time, clothing, hygiene stuff, hair cut. He has never been able to choose for himself before

- I know Jeremy knows the very very basics but nothing even remotely close to the truth and he is going to be SO far in over his head

- idk what it will be but Jean finding a hobby that he genuinely loves will make me cry (everything is going to make me cry)

- if Jean doesn't have an eating disorder I will be shocked tbh

- starts some therapy with Bee or they at least try to have him talk to her before he leaves

- I'd love some Jean and Neil friendship

- some form of Kevin, Andrew, Neil hanging out at Abby's because of the snippet we got of Jean watching Neil and Andrew. Maybe they take him to California (or Renee but I feel like Kevin might be insistent on taking him)

- So. Much. Kevin. Angst. Jean either never wants to talk to him again or calls him all the time because he is so lost and has no idea how to function as his own person

- I want him to have his own room where he can lock the door

- Jean having major conflict over being bi because of the nest in general but mainly because of his sexual assault

- Jean goes to Renee's for holiday break

#aftg #tsc #the sunshine court #all for the game #jean moreau #jeremy knox #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #ed mention #the tree talks

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honeygrahambitch · 8 months

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Hannibal is humming softly while sitting at his piano. From time to time he scribbles something on his sheets, replacing a musical note or adding a few more.

Will is eying him from the sofa, trying to anchor his whole self to that one image which is beautifully happening in front of his eyes.

Three weeks exactly had passed since they had jumped off the cliff. Their wounds were slowly healing. Even the wounds they didn't know they had were starting to ache less.

Will was happy Hannibal had finally built up the energy to play the piano. It wasn't a big one and some chords couldn't be properly tuned anymore but to Will it made no difference. Out of the two of them, Hannibal's condition had been worse. A few broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a bad cold which had turned into pneumonia. His coughs hadn't allowed any of them to rest.

Will is wearing one of Hannibal's sweaters. The fabric is soft against his stiffened body which is slowly communicating him to brace for the worst.

He had tried his best to hide his sudden panic attacks from Hannibal. After all, he had been in the worst possible shape, Will's whines would have been futile to both of them.

Will guessed the panic attacks had started because of the post-traumatic stress caused by their fall. They had almost drowned. He had almost lost Hannibal after just gaining him back.

No. These thoughts were exactly the wormhole he shouldn't fall into. Most of them happen during the night so hiding them is not hard but now he feels his whole body impossible to move off the sofa.

Hannibal's song suddenly stops which only sends Will into more spiraling. He feels lost for a second. He wants to dissociate and just disappear for a few minutes.

"Will?"

"Yeah?" He replies while trying to mask his despair.

"Are you alright?"

"Absolutely." He says and realizes instantly how forced it sounds as the cold sweat is only sending him further away.

Hannibal gets up from the piano and sits on the floor right next to the sofa. Will knows he can't fool him.

"For how long has this been going on?"

"A while."

His voice quivers.

"But I'm fine, it's not-"

He realizes his whole body is shaking only when Hannibal takes his right hand into his. His skin is warm against his cold sweaty hand.

"Will, I am here. And I need you to be sincere. Are you more comfortable with going through this on your own or do you want me here?"

Will swallows as hot tears threaten to spill out. He is frustrated at his own inability to just calm himself. He had no reason to go through that. He almost misses Hannibal's question as it rings somewhere at the back of his mind.

He appreciates the way he is always careful about his personal space. He never intends to invade Will's intimacy more than he allows him to.

"Stay here." He says and Hannibal tightens his grip on his hand.

"Will you let me hold you?" Hannibal asks, his eyes consumed by concern. His Will is slowly fading away and he wants to help. He hopes Will would allow him to help.

Will nods. He needs to ground himself. He needs an anchor. And Hannibal knows he would never ask for cuddles. He climbs on the sofa next to him and wraps his arms around Will's body, putting as much pressure as he can.

One of his hands brushes away Will's wet curls as Will's head is resting on his shoulder. Will is unaware of the way his own arms are desperately holding onto Hannibal as if he is his lifeboat.

"I can't breath." He says as he can't feel the air in his lungs anymore. He feels his chest heavy, filled by the ice cold water of the ocean.

Hannibal cups his face and their foreheads meet. "Breath with me. I am right here. I am real."

Will nods. With his last bits of energy, he leans in and their lips meet eagerly. Hannibal is a bit hesitant as he doesn't want to push Will into anything when he is in that kind of state but at the same time he knows that it will help him ground himself.

It was not their first kiss. The previous weeks have given them plenty of time to explore each other. But it was certainly one of their most different kisses.

He feels Hannibal's hand gripping the back of his head and pushing him more into himself. Will melts into him as his mind is no longer spiraling over the appearent lack of air.

When he moans it's because of the relief and because of the way his body is slowly relaxing. It feels as if he finally dropped a brick he had been carrying.

When he pulls his head back, it feels as if he had run ten miles.

"Don't you dare leave." Will whispers and Hannibal knows he is not talking only about that very moment.

"I could never, dearest." He says as he leans in to kiss Will's forehead. "I don't want you to go through this on your own again."

"You weren't doing great either. I didn't want you to worry."

"It looks like neither of us was doing great. That didn't stop you from watching over me during every night while I was sick." He says softly. "Let me watch over you, Will."

For the first time in his life, Will accepts. He wants and needs Hannibal to watch over him. He needs his golden gaze, his warm hands and his silky voice. He needs his touch and his words.

He needs his love.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal fanfiction

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system-of-a-feather · 5 months

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Honestly, real talk, I feel like people largely do not understand just how much characters within those who are maladaptive daydreamers and/or were maladaptive daydreamers literally are "parts of them" and how both healing and destructive that dynamic can be and I find that a bit visible with how people in DID communities talk about maladaptive daydreaming as a "form of plurality"

Its an absolutely different experience but that doesn't mean that the label of "plural" isn't equally suitable. Since that topic has come up on our radar like way back half a year or year ago, we honestly have been thinking about it as someone who is considered "recovered" from DID and has recovered from maladaptive daydreaming but still has a brain that functions creativity and imaginative worlds with the same semi-autonomous functions whether I like it or not

And honestly? My characters are very much not "my creation", nor are they "just my OCs" - the very way all of my character are made and at this point the only way I know how to write and make characters is by taking a part or aspect of myself (conscious or subconscious) and throwing it out there with a name and face. That part of myself engages with the world I created and develops within the narrative and impacts the world itself.

I repeat and do this for all my characters and the world that I have created serves as a hypothetical exploratory way to understand, engage with, and explore very complex topics with exaggerated and isolated parts of myself. I have never really "planned" a character of given them traits or really anything other than a basic premise of a name, MAYBE a gender, and a vague role and I let them define their own story. No real character arc planning. No real likes and dislikes. No real narrative or secret message.

The function and means of which that I "created" these OCs and the level of which I don't control the way they form and grow is extremely similar to how I "create" alters, albeit one is far more voluntary and intentional than the other and one is physically sharing my life with me and the other is sharing a mental world with me.

((Additionally I don't engage in the mental world I made for them beyond the half joke that I'm the god of the gods of that world and they dont know))

The dynamics I have with my characters is WAY WAY WAY different than my parts / alters but BOTH my characters (maladaptive daydreaming) and my alters (DID) are equally fair to call "parts of me" and "parts of a whole" in a very literal not "Oh yeah Im a writer and this character means a lot to me theyre a part of me"

With my writing partner (who does this as well) we regularly use our characters as well to explain what we are going through / how we are feeling to help facilitate real talk and venting a lot because we have a mutual understanding that while this is a story and these are our characters, both of us have "built" this world by literally giving very specific aspects of ourselves the ability to explore, grow, and learn in a world and that while some have grown SO far from who we are now, they represent an aspect and potential part of us that could have been should something have gone one way in a specifically extreme way in a specific environment.

With that in mind, I absolutely feel its fair to compare DID and MaDD "plurality" with some obvious understanding that while there are similarities they are also different (AND THATS OK).

Cause honestly? If I actually talked to my characters (like a lot of people with MaDD tend to do) I could see myself calling and feeling as though they were a system and I don't think it would be all that inaccurate and wrong. I don't have that experience as my MADD and DID are mostly entirely two seperate dissociative coping mechanisms, but I know for a fact the line between the two is a lot less clear and its just food for thought

-----------------

[SYSCOURSE AND DEBATE WILL BE BLOCKED.]

[Good faith conversation and discussion is WELCOMED and ENCOURAGED.]

[If you don't know the difference, don't add on.]

#alter: fei #alter: riku #maladaptive daydreaming #plurality #plural #conversysion #sysconversation #sys conversation #system discussions #syscourse #<- for reach because I don't think the new tags have gotten well known enough #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder

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intimidating-fettuccine · 2 months

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Tim and Toby swap bodies because of some entity :)?(love that father and son troup!

I feel like... This was probably waaaaay angstier than you thought it would be.. My bad. This also got super long.

***I made the decision for Toby's tics and CIPA to also remain in his original body because it's just their consciousness that has switched, and not their actual brains and nervous systems.

It's an absolute fucking mess, that's what it is. The two of them didn't even think it was possible, really, for people to just completely switch bodies, let alone for it to happen to them because their current target for their mission was able to cast a spell that would cause it. They thought they were home free, they'd gotten in the kill, but at the last possible moment their target had cast a spell that sent the two of them flying backward, crashing into the ground as their eyes slid closed in the shock of the moment. They were alive, so they thought they were fine, but when their eyes finally reopened, that's when the situation really began to dawn on them.

It hit Toby first, after all, Toby... Has never felt pain before. It stings, and it burns, and it causes him to choke on his breath, the pain surging through him. It takes Tim a moment to notice, because after all, Tim can feel pain, and yet he doesn't feel anything. Peeling open his eyes, devoid of any pain, Tim's vision lands on his own body, curled up and twitching, his eyes wide open, his hands covering his face as a pained expression coats it. Tim thinks, at first, that he's having an out-of-body experience like dissociation, until he realizes he is having a literal out-of-body experience. Once Toby's familiar stress tics start occurring, Tim realizes the truth; they swapped bodies. His mind had gone blank from that moment on, and the next time his eyes focused they were in the mansion infirmary. Slender had realized what had happened, with "Tim's" abnormal reactions to pain, and the difference in their thought patterns, Slender had realized they had been switched around. Of course, unfortunately, the only thing they could do now was wait it out until they'd wake up in their correct bodies.

Toby has it the hardest, to be quite honest, in a complete and literal sense. Inside of Tim's body, he has to learn the true weight of being careful because he keeps injuring himself, but now he can feel it. He can feel the sting, the burn, and the tear of all the injuries he'd previously never felt before, and it's like absolute torture for him. Toby is also suffering due to the fact that when Tim switched into Toby's body, Masky switched with him. Masky, who hates Toby, and who likes watching him suffer. Masky has been finding great joy in causing injury to Toby's original body, considering Masky himself can't feel it, and Toby is the one who will have to deal with the consequences of healing them. Of course, Tim and Slender finally got a hold of Masky, so that has slowed down, but Tim himself is having a struggle with Toby's body. He's treading so, so carefully in everything he does, paranoid he'll harm Toby's body without realizing it, and he's got to learn to cope with all of Toby's CIPA, and all of Toby's tics.

Of course, they've been trying to make it through. Tim has been helping Toby navigate life in a careful way that decreases the odds of constantly hurting himself in anxiety, and Toby has been helping Tim to navigate the tics that his body regularly experiences, and helping him learn how to calm down so that stress won't aggravate them and make them worse. It's been a few days already and the two of them have been going through the wringer constantly in their stress, but they've been going through it together. Slender said it could be a couple of weeks, so the two of them have been spending a lot more time together to keep their eyes on their original bodies and navigate through them together. It's been helping them grow closer, but it's been in ways that both of them would have preferred they didn't have to experience together.

Sure, Toby is learning to be more careful and take pain more seriously, but it's because he finally understands what pain feels like, and it's not a good feeling to experience for him to be going through after living his whole life without it. Tim, on the other hand, is now much more aware of how inhibiting Toby's tics are, but only because he now has to experience them constantly himself. Overall, the two of them have absolutely grown closer, they just wish it could have happened in literally any other way. Once they switch back, they're quite happy to have retention of their original forms and very excited to be back to normal, but... They are much softer and more understanding of each other too. The two of them also are much more careful moving forward to be aware of whether a target can or cannot do that to them again.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #slender mansion mayhem #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanon #ticci toby headcanons #tim wright #tim wright headcanons #tim wright headcanon #masky #masky headcanons #masky headcanon

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mlmxreader · 2 months

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the cod fandom has a serious issue w saneism

I'm genuinely not joking. so many of you fuckers are guilty of being absolutely abhorrent towards people with personality, schizospec, psychotic, dissociative and trauma disorders and you need to stop before you genuinely harm someone. no, you're not "cute" for it - you're an ableist, nasty little cunt for it.

so, let's go through it a bit; I'm not gonna go in-depth, bc ik some of you lot won't take criticism w/o treating it as a personal attack, and ik a LOT of you don't actually give a shit abt hurting people either. but I'm gonna quickly cover some things that need addressing.

First and foremost: "delulu".

"delulu" is a term that's been shortened from "delusional" to essentially mean "I have a thought/opinion that few others have".

which isn't the correct way to actually use this term whatsoever; according to the correct definition, a delusion is stated to be "A delusion is a strongly-held or fixed false belief that conflicts with reality.", and an example of that would be (for example) if someone believed that their behaviour, thoughts and emotions were being controlled by the government or aliens. THAT is a delusion.

"Soap isn't dead uwu" is not. by using the word "delusion" colloquially and by using "delulu", you are minimising and misusing a term used solely meant for usage within the mental health field. it's not that hard to say "I have the opinion that-" or "I think that-", because what you're experiencing isn't a delusion. it's an opinion.

Secondly: "psychopath/sociopath".

"psychopath" and "sociopath" are widely misused and derogatory terms used often towards people with ASPD to portray them as violent, evil, etc. and within the cod fandom is often used as a derogatory term for villains like Makarov and Shepherd and Graves.

the terms themselves are wildly outdated and no longer used within the mental health field due to their derogatory and untrue definitions; "psychopath" and "sociopath" can ONLY be used by people with ASPD and other such disorders, otherwise, it does count as a slur.

if you cannot reclaim it, you cannot use it.

otherwise, you're only pushing and furthering stigmatisation and stereotypes that render it HARDER for people to seek help and support for their mental health.

Third: "schizo".

"schizo" is a fucking slur. end of. it is a slur against people with schizospec disorders. it's a slur, stop using it.

it's not cute and it isn't funny; the word is a slur, and if you cannot reclaim it then why are you using it if not to treat schizospec people as a fucking joke?

why is our mental health a joke to you when you would kick off if someone did the same to anxiety, or depression?

why is it okay to treat one disorder as a joke, why is it okay to treat schizospec people as if we're second class citizens?

Fourth: "psycho".

the same as above, "psycho" is a fucking slur. stop using it.

the word has a long, long history of being used in a derogatory, offensive and bigoted manner in order to portray someone as being violent, evil or otherwise terrible - "he's such a psycho!", "she's acting psycho!" - and yet, the cod fandom throws it around as if it means nothing despite the fact that one quick look will show that "psycho" is a slur and is as bad as calling someone a "faggot" as a slur.

Fifth: the treatment of Nikto

in recent weeks, Nikto has become sort of the "new" König - he's an object of desire and attraction, which... Sure, whatever.

but Nikto canonically has dissociative identity disorder, a mental health issue that is largely misunderstood and mistreated massively.

the fandom treats Nikto two ways: either his mental illness boils down to "uwu soft baby" disease, or it doesn't exist at all.

that is NOT how dissociative identity disorder works; by treating Nikto as if he's some completely innocent, infantilised, glamourised depiction of dissociative identity disorder, you are further perpetuating that it is NOT a serious disorder and it is NOT something to take seriously.

furthermore, by acting as if his mental health disorder doesn't exist AT ALL, you are also furthering that a character CANNOT be desirable, loved and attractive if he has any kind of mental health disorder.

how would you like it if someone treated anxiety or depression that way?

how would you feel if someone erased depression to make you an object of desire, instead of treating it with respect and decency?

it's not nice, is it?

so why do it at all?

conclusion

the cod fandom has a massive, massive issue with saneism and ableism, and it needs to stop because all you're doing is being shitty and bigoted towards marginalised people to the point where even something that's supposed to be FUN can't even be that anymore because people with these disorders have to CONSTANTLY be on guard and CONSTANTLY have to deal with stigmatisation and demonisation to the point where no one can be trusted outside of ourselves.

so stop it, have some fucking courtesy for your fellow man and have some respect and decency for once in your lives.

yes, you can reblog, but don't fucking derail.

#call of duty #cod #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #call of duty fandom #cod fandom

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jaskierx · 5 months

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[CW for discussion of severe mental illness (PTSD) and suicide]

I want to add my perspective to the conversation about canyon people picking and choosing which disability rep is worth telling. It’s really offensive to me because I’m mentally disabled so it feels like these people are glossing over the mental illness rep in the show.

I hesitate because i do not want to seem like I’m chastising people for acknowledging the physical disability rep. OFMD has better physical disability rep than any show I’ve seen, while I’ve seen many shows with mentally ill characters. I also do not want to give credit where credit is not due, because ultimately these characters don’t have any diagnosed mental disabilities. However, I don’t think that that subtracts from the representation because 1)the show obviously takes place before many mental health diagnoses that we have now did,2) even if those diagnoses did exist, the crew would not be able to access them, and 3) I think the show is clearly trying to tell us that characters are suffering from PTSD, or at the very least struggling to process a traumatic event, they just don’t have the words to describe it as such.

Many characters exhibit what would today be classified as symptoms of a psychiatric disorder. In this fandom we often joke about that, especially Ed’s (which is more than okay), but I also want to appreciate the way that season 2 deals with the trauma of the kraken era. They freak out and have flashbacks over blindfolds and birthday cakes because of what they’ve been through. They have interpersonal conflicts due to differing ways of processing the trauma and not seeing eye to eye on each others own unique experience (Lucius and Pete come to mind). Lucius takes up smoking to cope with the pain. Ed dissociates (I think, because he doesn’t remember wanting to have a talent show) and is literally suicidal, first passively (“you mean curl up into a ball and die?”) and then actively (the whole storm thing). He also turns to using drugs to self medicate.

Anyway sorry for the novel I just wanted to add my perspective because this show means a lot to me as someone who’s mentally disabled and I want to know if anyone else with a mental disability feels the same/differently.

no don't apologise this is a really good point!

i've posted about it a few times and so has glam and several other people whose links i don't have to hand but the depiction of ed's mental illness and his suicidality is fucking spot on and the show absolutely deserves all the praise it gets for that

especially because it's quite possibly the first show i've ever seen that depicts suicidality in a way that manages to be accurate without being pitying and manages to be hopeful without romanticising the issue. the show brings ed to his lowest point and then shows him being helped to come back from that by people who love him. it tells us that there's always a way for things to get better and that you can get there by yourself but it's easier if you have help, and it tells us that this help is available because there is always going to be someone waiting for you even if you doubt that. it never shows ed as 'cured'. it never shows stede being angry with ed for his symptoms. when lucius suggests that ed might just be 'broken', stede very quickly shuts him down and the show makes it clear that the narrative is on stede's side here.

and all of this just doesn't get brought up by izzy stans. discussion of mental illness portrayal tends to be one of the following:

ignoring ed's arc altogether to focus on izzy's suicide attempt and his 'i want to go' line while he's on his deathbed (and in a massively different place to where he was in s2e2) and using this to pretend that the show's message is 'disabled queer people deserve to die' (yes unfortunately this is a take i have seen with my own two eyes)

writing ed's arc off as an example of 'magic dick' and using this to pretend that he was fine as soon as he got stede back

ignoring ed's arc completely and instead insisting that he's a violent serial killer and abuser with anger issues who traumatised the crew and will inevitably physically abuse stede and kill all their inn's customers

ignoring all portrayals of mental illness completely because they will deliberately downplay the disability of every other disabled character in order to centre izzy

the canyon will bend over backwards to centre izzy and to view the entire show through a lens where he is their longsuffering protagonist who can do no wrong and it's led them to ignore so much of what makes the show great

#sorry i wrote you a novel in return lmao #asks #anon #the izcourse #fandom critical #cw suicide #cw suicidal ideation #lyse.jpg

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marzonomy · 1 year

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Jeff, E.J., and Ben x Stoner! Reader

Jeff

Okayy at rolling

Doesn't really smoke much, but sometimes he has sessions w/ EJ

Probably greened out his first time

When you two smoke together he will try to one-up you.

It does not go well for him.

Bro is MAD dissociating

Greens out like you've never seen before

Tries his best to act normal but it is NOT easy

Writing this make me wanna get high again man 😭

Anyways, after he sobers up bro is MAD embarrassed.

Will do it again though.

Eyeless Jack

The best person in the major to smoke with.

Especially helpful if you green out.

I mean he's like. An expert in the medical field. He knows a LOT of this kinda stuff.

He forsure smokes.

It helps him stay calm and not go absolutely fucking ballistic over minor things. Bro is mentally unstable.

I know he's portrayed as being calm and stoic but you can't forget all the things he's been through. Those things can really fuck someone up.

Smoking is the reason he's able to keep the aura. It makes him feel just a little bit human.

Ben

This dumbass is TERRIBLE at rolling.

I mean he's literally a virus. While he could just learn from the internet, he is NOT a human. He does not have the human understanding of how weed really works.

That doesn't mean he doesn't try.

He does have feelings. He's sentient. He's just not human.

Eventually gets ahold of it.

He doesnt really smoke himself, as he doesn't have an actual brain so he cannot get high.

But he still hangs out w you while you smoke.

Makes fun of you a LOT. Not in like a mean spirited way, just lighthearted teasing. But he does it all the fucking time.

He thinks it's fucking hilarious when you're zonked out of ur mind.

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jayswritings13 · 1 year

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Total Drama: Mike and Mal Relationship Headcanons

Request: "Can I request dating headcanons for Mike and Mal from Total Drama?"

💗Masterlist | WIP Page

Mike

Very nervous

At first, you thought that it was just because he liked you and such.

You really didn't know too much about Dissociative Identity Disorder to suspect that.

Well, until Mike came out and told you himself.

"....So I take it that you're going to want nothing to do with me now?" Mike glanced away, bracing himself up for you're affirmation of his worst fears.

That he was someone not worth knowing.

That he was strange.

That he was c-

"What?! Of course not!" You said, "You mean a lot to me and a mental illness cannot change that. I want you to know that you have my full support." You paused, smirking a bit at him, "I'm an okay listener."

That was all he wanted: acceptance.

WORDS OF AFFIRATION

Mike is often very self deprecating and negative about himself, so hearing positive affirmations melts his heart and catches his attention like nothing else.

Pet names and nicknames are not so much Mikes thing

That, however, does not stop you.

"Babe, hand me that pencil."

"If Scott wants to fuck with you, then I have to fuck with him, hun. I don't make the rules!"

"You got this, sweetheart."

Mike likes to return the favor through acts of service.

Need help with putting together something? He may not be good at it, but he'll be there.

Sick with the flu? Already picking up cold medicine, soup, and movies to watch/fall asleep too.

Have to clean out your car? He's already done it and made sure to get it washed too.

"How are you so nice?" You laughed, grabbing another handful of popcorn out of the bowl you to shared.

"I don't know. Maybe you're just lucky." He grinned.

"I already knew that, hun. You smiled, "I consider myself very lucky."

"I am too."

Mal

Not to much surprise, he wasn't too shy or nervous about confessing feelings for you in the ways that you expect.

He is actually rather blunt about his thoughts and feelings

Which can lead to fights and arguments

"C'mon, how long are you going to freeze me out?" Mal groaned, rolling his eyes. "I was just honest."

"You called the dinner that I made shitty. I spent all day on that!"

"And I gave you an honest critique for next time. You're welcome!"

Don't expect any romantic or mushy stuff from him.

He is not only horrible at that type of stuff, but he's not interested in any of it.

Flowers? Please that shit turns to weeds faster than it took to grow them.

Cooking a romantic dinner? He can't cook anything that great, but if you want cereal, go for it.

Surprise trips? Hard to plan for trips with his unique situation between him and Mike.

However, this doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you.

He just shows it differently.

Mostly though quality time.

Mal makes sure that you know that he cares for you, but doesn't feel the need to say so excessively.

He mostly likes to spend time around you, even if not doing anything in particular.

And with him being introverted and isolating himself often, that is a huge compliment tbh.

On the other hand, he loves when you shower him with praise or any other words of affirmation.

No pet names though.

He absolutely hates them.

Which means that you love to use it to annoy him.

He knows what you're doing, but he falls for it everytime.

"Sweetie? Can you hand me that?"

"I hate you." Mal stated, handing you your phone.

"Ha! Yeah, okay." You laughed. "Totally believable."

#total drama #jayswritings #total drama headcanons #total drama x reader #total drama mal #total drama mike #td mal #td mike #td x reader

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e-steamedtea · 6 months

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Lyney Headcannons

Okay- headcannon time~ This is really just an excuse for me to write angst about him. He just had so much free real estate. I feel like if I don't talk about this somewhere that I'm going to explode.

1. Lyney doesn't talk about his problems because he feels he hasn't suffered enough too.

He just seems like the type of person to be super empathetic towards everyone but himself. When his siblings have something bad happen to them, they don't deserve it. When something bad happens to him? He should have done better, it's all his fault, it's what he should have expected. They should feel free to talk about their pain whenever they're ready. He thinks that compared to his siblings, he's just hasn't had it bad enough to talk about it.

2. Lyney doesn't remember how to talk to people authentically.

I like to think with how much he tends to put on a front he doesn't know how to properly talk to people. He's so good at playing the part that there is not such thing as a normal conversation without all the bravado and sugary words.

3. Lyney refused to eat unless he knows Lynette has.

It was a habit he developed while they were living in the street, but since he was so young it kinda just stayed with age. In fact, he gets incredibly anxious if he ever gets food without knowing of Lynette has had anything. Unless he sees her eat, he'll adamantly refuse food.

4. Lyney is the quiet anxiety type.

He holds all of his emotions in and has had several anxiety attacks in public. If it's just him and Lynette, he'll start pacing and occasionally he'll follow his anxious trian of thought. He's prone to harm scratch at his skin or pull his hair so they keep his nails short.

5. Lyney has a dissociation problem.

The habit was worse when he was younger, especially when they were under the abusive nobel. He would just space out if he wasn't actively performing or Lynette wasn't there. He'd either spiral or his mind would be absolutely blank. Occasionally, he'll slip from reality, especially when Lynette isn't around to keep him grounded.

6. Lyney has cat-like eyes.

I literally cannot explain it. It's just what he inherited and I will stand by it for the rest of my life. It's especially prominent in the sun. He's got slits instead of the round pupils and when they lived on the streets people wouldn't look him in the eyes because they thought he was creepy.

7. Lyney was locked in a closet as a kid but he has no memory of it.

My brain came up with this and I can't even explain it. Under the abusive nobel, there was an incident that resulted in him spending the night in a closet, neither twin really remembers it. Lyney was dissociated the whole time and the dark doesn't help. It's remember on a subconscious level but Lyney's just ignores it until he can't anymore.

8. Lyney does card tricks when he's nervous

When he's nervous and alone, he'll pace back and fourth and do card tricks to try and calm him down. They're like his fidget and it was an idea that Lynette came up with instead of him putting his hands in his hair. When around other people, he does the tricks but doesn't let his nervousness show on his face.

This is the second part of this post:

Lyney's Character Analysis

Courtroom Headcannons

Edited: Links

#lyney #lyney and lynette #genshin impact #fontaine #genshin impact fontaine #house of hearth #genshin headcanons #genshin analysis #genshin 4.1 #genshin impact lyney #Lyney is rotting my brain #He's constantly all i think about #he's traumatized and he's coping badly #HE NEEDS MORE ANGST #Lyney is free real estate

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