#and old school youtubers are to blame for starting this trend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vicea · 3 years

Text

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson)

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour...

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea)

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon!

#dreamwastaken #dreamblr #long post #really long post xd #summary #not really a summary... literally just everything he said #merch discord

302 notes · View notes

gifted-burnout-archive · 4 years

Text

The Games We Play

1. Good News, Ruined.

Word Count: 7.8K+

Author’s Note: I had a flood of inbox requests surrounding Luke Patterson x Reader, enemies to lovers/fake dating/all the good stuff, and decided it was too good not to make something bigger. this chapter was sooo fun to write, and obviously with the whole thing being in an AU universe, I get to change a bunch of shit without consequence... So thank you for reading, I hope you love it, this is my nonsense.

Warning: none.

masterlist | taglist

Parents tend to assume things of their children, the practise usually implemented by those who believe ignorance is bliss, especially when it’s easier to assume your kid is studying, or asleep in bed, or catching up on their reading list. Why worry about what your kids are up to after hours when you could share a bottle of wine and fall asleep on the living room sofa watching some shitty Hallmark movie? Enjoying the perfect ideal, even if it isn’t, in fact, real.

It was this sort of behaviour from the likes of Luke Patterson’s parents that led to him sneaking out pretty much every night of summer.

This was, of course, on top of lies about study groups and volunteering work and classical guitar lessons with his school teacher during the day, and it had been going on a lot longer than just the summer. But could anyone really blame the boy when he once again climbed out his bedroom window that last night of the summer, armed with his guitar on his back as he grabbed his bike and started off in the warm August air?

The soft breeze rushed through Luke’s hair and sent his flannel overshirt billowing behind him as he rode down his street, destined for the other side of town, to the other reality he had created without his parents’ knowledge, the world glowing under the last traces of another beautiful sunset. The reds and oranges gave way to tinges of green and the endless expanse of midnight blue the later hours welcomed, street lamps slowly flickering to life as shadows grew and Luke took a hard turn left onto an underpass, pedalling as fast as he could.

He was already late, he was usually late, but that night his mom and dad had demanded a family meal before he began his senior year, something about tradition or memory-making he had been too preoccupied to listen to. His year wasn’t going to be great because of family albums over his dad’s famous chili, though it was very good chili: no, his year was going to be great because of the people waiting for him at the end of his bike ride, and the news that waited with them.

Luke’s summer hadn’t been spent studying like he told his parents, and it hadn’t been spent the way many of his classmates enjoyed their time off school. Luke’s summer, and the majority of his Junior year before, had been spent in a garage in the LA suburbs, one that belonged to the Molinas. He had spent every spare moment there writing, practising, rehearsing, because Luke’s end goal in life was nothing like his parents had planned for him:

Luke was going to be a Rockstar, and the way to that wasn’t school. It was Julie and the Phantoms.

As he pulled up to the familiar residence about fifteen minutes later, legs aching from the high-speed ride over, Luke couldn’t help but smile. Ray and Carlos were out on the porch playing a game of cards under string lights, and it looked like Mr Molina was losing quite spectacularly to his ten-year old son.

“Hi Mr Molina!” Luke called with a wave, distracting Ray for long enough that Carlos managed to sneak a peak at his dad’s hand and plan accordingly.

“Luke, it’s Ray. Please.” Ray corrected, for the one hundredth time, but Luke was a polite kid, and while he wasn’t one for following his own parents’ rules, he was too respectful to ever start his friend’s dad by his first name. “Everyone’s in the garage, they’re waiting for you before they check the website.” Ray called over, and Luke nodded with a bright smile, waving a hurried hello and goodbye to Carlos before rushing towards the garage at the far side of the house, pulling off the straps of his guitar case and bringing it to his front.

The front pocket was stuffed full of scraps of paper, possible lyrics for new band music, which was required since they had managed to get on the YouTube trending page a few months before, and had begun playing the LA music circuit with high levels of success. The band had only been formed, properly at least, for the last year, and their sudden success was calling for them to be scooped up by a record label any day now.

That’s what the team were congregating for that night, Luke entering the converted garage, their studio, to find his bandmates huddled on the couch with their closest friends. In the couch’s centre was Reggie, Julie and Alex: to the blonde’s right was his boyfriend Willie, to Reggie’s right was his girlfriend Kayla, and Flynn paced on the other side of the coffee table, only coming to a halt as six pairs of eyes came up to find Luke fixing his hair from its windswept state after biking across the city.

“Where the Hell have you been?!” Flynn exclaimed, wide eyed and all gestures. She was a Junior like Julie, and perhaps the band’s number one fan: it made sense, she was kind of their manager. “The site is going live any minute now, and we’ve been waiting almost an hour for you to show up!” She hollered, Luke coming forward and placing a hand on her shoulder, the younger girl scowling at him as he did, but she stopped talking, allowing the boy a word in.

“My parents wanted a family meal, I got here as soon as I could.” He explained to the anxious faces, his eyes travelling down to the laptop sat on the coffee table that they all seemed rather focused on. “Is this it?” He asked, and Julie quickly nodded, turning the laptop, displaying a countdown on a website, to face Luke.

48 seconds… He had arrived in the nick of time.

“Will you read it first?” Julie asked in a quiet voice, Flynn taking the girl’s space on the couch behind her, squishing herself between Reggie and Alex. “You take bad news best…” It wasn’t actually true, but it seemed like Luke had been nominated for the task of finding out whether they had hit the jackpot, and looking at his friends’ all tucked onto the three-seater couch, Luke couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

“Alright.” He said with a curt nod, taking a seat at the opposite side of the coffee table as Julie sat herself back down, now on Flynn’s lap as the two girls hugged onto one another in fear.

23 seconds…

“This could be it…” Reggie muttered; his hand interlocked with Kayla’s. She and Willie had come along as emotional support for their boyfriends, and it was a good call: Alex was as pale as a sheet, and Reggie looked like he might vomit. “Imagine… If we’re in this competition, if we qualify… Guys, we could be signing with Fall Down.” He continued, the seconds ticking away as a silence filled the air after the bassist’s words. He was right, sure, but it was too hopeful.

The competition was country-wide, and thousands of bands had sent in their entries. It was quite literally a one in a 100,000 chance they would make it, that they would be one of the twenty bands picked for the competition.

After all, the tagline was quick to remind that ‘only the best’ would get into the Fall Down Records’ Battle of the Bands.

“3… 2…” Luke counted down, and as countdown finally hit zero, Luke refreshed the page.

Instead of the list Luke and his friends had expected to appear, instead he was greeted by a video, and the boy quickly pressed play, turning up the volume to let it play around the room.

“A very big hello from Fall Down HQ in Los Angeles!” The laptop spoke, and Luke looked up at six confused faces, quickly adjusting the laptop and sitting himself on the table so he could watch along with his friends. “I’m Trevor Wilson, and I’ve been given the honour of sharing the Fall Down Records’ Battle of the Bands line-up with all of you, across the world. But first, a quick reminder of the rules.

“This competition looks for the very best young artists in the US, the twenty top finalists getting a chance to join in our televised six-week competition. Each week our contestants are given a new theme to perform for, and each week three bands are eliminated by judges’ and audience vote, until the Final Four Battle it out for glory.” The video explained, but this wasn’t new information to the seen friends watching with desperate hope. “And the grand prize? The victorious band will be leaving with not only a multi-album record deal with Fall Down Records, but their very own World Tour and $1 million for each band member! I cannot make this up, and I can’t stress more when I say that the band winning this competition are going to be changing the history of music, with Fall Down Records and me, Trevor Wilson, by their side.

“Now, enough of me talking. Let’s get to what you’re all here for, the big announcement. Thanks to everyone who submitted their auditions, don’t give up hope on just yet… But viewers, I give you your top 20.” The video disappeared, the website suddenly coming to life with the full list of finalists, and Luke jumped into action to begin scrolling down as everyone leaned forward, instinctively, Luke’s finger moving as fast as it could past other acts.

Finalists came from all across the country, from all music genres: they scrolled past Idols, a country trio from Nashville; Rallico, an R&B group from New York; Everest, the folk-pop band from Montana. Luke’s finger continued to scroll, through videos and bios on each of the bands, and he counted as he went through to himself. 11, 12, 13…

“STOP!” Kayla shrieked suddenly, Luke moving his hand from the mousepad in surprise, his eyes finally focusing on the screen, the haze of scrolling quickly subsiding. He had to blink once, then twice, just to be sure, glancing back at the shocked faces of his friends beside him, making sure they were all seeing the same thing.

NUMBER 15: JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS. FROM LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.

“Oh my God…” Alex breathed out, the first to speak as he clutched onto Willie’s hand, and one by one, the faces on the couch went from looks of worry to ones of ecstatic joy.

“Oh my God!” Julie yelped, jumping off of Flynn’s lap and flapping her hands, unsure what to do for a moment, but Reggie quickly stood up as well, and the pair embraced in a tight hug. It took a few moments for the rest of the room to process, but the moment everyone had…

Carlos and Ray heard the screaming from their cosy spot at the front of the house, whooping and yells of triumph echoing across the cul-de-sac as the kids celebrated their achievement.

The hugs and bouncing and complete inability to stay still probably lasted a solid seven minutes, and by the time Luke was coming down from the high of the news, Julie was disappearing round the corner to tell her dad and brother, Reggie was spinning Kayla in his arms, and Alex had found himself in a rather heated kiss with Willie. His eyes went back to the laptop, and he removed himself from a hug with Flynn to sit back on the couch, scrolling back up to the top of the finalist website page.

“What are you doing man?” Reggie asked, Kayla jumping off his back and taking the bassist’s hand as they walked over to Luke, the boy pressing play on the first of 19 videos, the audition tapes of the other competitors.

“We’re up against all these other groups, the competition starts in a few days… I want to see what we’re up against.” Luke explained, the words pulling Alex and Willie over to the laptop too. The five pressed play on the first video, Luke leaning over and turning the volume up as high as it would go as the first band’s music began to play. “Willie, can you go get Julie?” The raven-haired boy nodded, squeezing Alex’s hand one last time in celebration before rushing towards the Molina residence to collect Julie and Flynn.

“I can’t believe we actually managed this…” Alex scoffed in disbelief, running a hand through his hair and glancing over at his friends with the brightest of smiles. To think, the three had met at the age of 10, that all those days of mindless rehearsal led them to Julie, which led them to this?

“You guys deserve it.” Kayla commented with a smile, glancing down at her watch with a frown. “Shit, I forgot about curfew…” She muttered, pressing a kiss to Reggie’s cheek. “I need to get home; I’ll give Willie a lift too. See you tomorrow babe?” She asked Reggie, who nodded fast as Willie came back with Julie and Flynn. “Curfew, Skater Boy.” She reminded Willie; whose eyes widened before muttering a soft curse to himself.

“Right.” He sighed, waving a quick goodbye to his boyfriend and friends before slipping out the door with Kayla. Flynn watched them go, giving Julie and quick hug.

“This seems to be a band member meeting now, and I need a ride. See you tomorrow, alright?” Flynn asked, and Julie nodded, the pair sharing another hug before Flynn too disappeared through the garage doors, leaving the band to themselves.

There was a comfortable silence, as they all looked at one another, as they all came to terms with the sheer insanity of what was happening. Out of thousands upon thousands… Out of millions of applicants, Julie and her Phantoms had managed to snag a spot in the country’s biggest competition, managed to get themselves a chance at a record deal, at a world tour, at millions of dollars…

“So,” Julie said with a grin at her three best friends on the couch, the boys looking to her for their next move. “These other contestants…” She made her way over to the couch, sitting herself between Luke and Alex quite comfortably and taking charge of the laptop from Luke, who was happy to hand over control. “Why don’t we break this down?”

“Well,” Alex spoke up as he peered over Julie’s shoulder, the girl clicking on the second contestants’ audition tape, the sound of soft banjo filling the air. “If we want to win… We need to be looking for the biggest threat across the board, not just in one category.” He said, his friends looking over in slight surprise. It was undoubtable that of the guys, Alex was the smart one, but his smarts weren’t something he used very often to begin with. He coughed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting up a little straighter. “I just mean, the competition is a new theme every week, right? Well, we’re a band with a pretty wide range. I mean, Reggie with his banjo is just a start.” The blonde gestured across the couch, the compliment causing his friend to grin and wave. “If we’re optimistic here, planning the hypothetical that we make it past week one-”

“The band that’s going to be the hardest to beat is the one with range, like us.” Luke finished for his friend, clicking onto contestant number 3, the audition tapes only 90 seconds long, and gesturing to Reggie. “Get a pen and paper, we need to start writing notes.” He decided, and Reggie pouted.

“Why do I have to do it?” He asked, and Julie let out a laugh.

“Luke taking notes would be a waste of time, his handwriting is worse than a doctor’s, and Alex and I have thinking to do.” She explained simply, but it was enough for Reggie to grumble his way over to a dresser on the far side of the room they kept stocked with stationery in case inspiration struck, coming back over and sitting on the ground, getting into position to write.

“Back to contestant 1.” Julie instructed, the four beginning their first bout of research.

It was well after midnight when the band were only just reaching the end of their list. Alex was pacing as he listened to the audition tapes of their competitors over and over again, Luke and Julie both huddled over the laptop as Reggie jotted down notes.

They all should have gone to bed over an hour ago, what with their first day of school that morning, the last first day of school for the guys, but there was too much excitement, too much energy buzzing through them, and this research was the best way to channel it.

Where other subjects were not their strongest suit, everyone of the kids in that room excelled at music: not just playing it, but understanding it. This was a competition, and from what extensive knowledge they shared on Fall Down Records, this was not about looking for one-hit wonders or kids with untapped potential. It was about finding stars already in the making and pushing them forward.

This was good news for the four kids, and bad news for some of their opposition. It became clear in the first half of the tapes who was and who was not going to last long in the competition, a clear divide that didn’t seem like it would change any time soon. Alex was walking around the room that night trying to figure out just who would be going home in the weeks to come, and where Julie and the Phantoms would fall into the grand scheme of things.

“Final video.” Julie announced, the blonde looking over and deciding it would be best to sit himself down, at least for the watch through. Reggie too seemed intrigued as to who their last challenger would be. As Julie clicked her way onto the video, she was confused for a moment when presented with a black screen, wondering if she had accidentally turned her computer off.

Suddenly, a noise, unlike any Luke or Julie or the guys had heard in the last few hours of investigation. Accompanied by bongo drums and maracas, they were all expecting some sort of island breeze music, quite honestly, and Luke was about to pause and check the band’s name once more when the odd noise was suddenly replaced by a much more familiar one: an electric guitar coming in with the drums. An image finally flickered to screen, unlike the other videos of live performances across the country or awkward homemade recording sessions, this band had opted for an old, grainy video quality, a sepia coloured moving picture of hands beginning to play along on the guitar.

“All that I want is to wake up fine. Tell me that I’m alright, that I ain’t gonna die. And all that I want is a hole in the ground, you can tell me when it’s alright for me to come out.” The first few seconds were enough to leave jaws hanging, and though he would later deny it, Luke’s was on the floor.

The sound was so different, such a bizarre mix of percussion and pop and rock, with such a happy sound despite the bleak lyrics. It was impressive, to say the least, and suddenly the picture before them flashed away to reveal the band on a white stage, all dressed in block colours, and Luke scanned over the set up: they had a guy on drums who was dressed from head to toe in blue; a girl in all green on a beatmaker surrounded by the odd percussion they had heard at the song’s beginning, the funny noise revealed to be a marimba; the second guy was on guitar, though it wasn’t quite clear if he was lead or rhythm, and adorned in orange; and then finally…

“Hard Times.” The three other bands members sang, introducing the chorus for their front woman.

“Gonna make you wonder why you even try. Hard times, gonna take you down and laugh when you cry. These lives, and I still don’t know how I even survive. Hard Times, hard times.” She sang in a vision of block colour red, in a short tennis skirt and crop top beneath an oversized blazer, a pair of opaque red cat-eye sunglasses perched on the edge of her nose. The hands from the opening shots of the guitar playing had been her, the instrument a bright red that matched the outfit she wore, and Luke quickly realised that everybody’s instruments matched their clothing colour.

“Marimba…” Luke heard Reggie mutter under the music, only for them to be silenced by the chorus’ final line.

“And I gotta get to rock bottom!” The distortion on her voice as she half sang, half yelled the line was jarring and enchanting and Luke had to let out a bated breath as she continued, lifting the mic off its stand and walking to the boy in orange, passing the guitar duties over to him as she began to sing again, the camera focusing in on the girl in green’s ability on the beatmaker, her fingers dancing over the buttons as they brought in the bridge.

“Tell my friends I’m coming down. We’ll kick it when I hit the ground.” Another drastic change to this soft head voice, paired with the instrumental making it feel like, for a moment, they had all been sucked into a dream. “Tell my friends I’m coming down. We’ll kick it when I hit the ground… When I hit the ground. When I hit the ground. When I hit the ground.” The final note hung for a moment in the air, everything else going silent to let it resonate as the singer hung onto the boy in orange by the shoulder, her hand rising up to pinch his cheek before the final chorus hit.

“Hard Times.”

“Gonna make you wonder why you even try. Hard times, gonna take you down and laugh when you cry. These lives, and I still don’t know how I even survive hard times. Hard times.” The whole band sang the final chorus, their front woman spinning across the stage and singing in harmony with the girl in green, red’s voice riffing on the last notes as the beatmaker brought the snippet of music brought to a close, the screen going black as the music continued to came to a halt. “And I gotta get to rock bottom!”

And there it was… Their main competition.

Luke couldn’t drag his eyes away from the black screen, still trying to get over what he had just heard: while he was more partial to the music he made with his own band, there was undeniable star power in just that song, and four talented musicians to accompany it… Not to mention their lead singer.

He didn’t think he’d go into the contest attracted to a rival band member.

“They used… A marimba?! A marimba…” Reggie exclaimed finally, the first to talk, or rather yell, the leather jacket-clad boy jumping from his seat with his arms stretched in front of him in exasperation. The majority of their night had provided information on bands that gave them a challenge for first place, but confidence they might just grab it. And now? Now they had more than competition, but a threat to the biggest break of their lives.

“Electra Heart…” Alex read the band name out loud, frowning a little as he said it, something about the words seeming familiar. “I feel like I’ve heard of these guys before.”

“Maybe because they’re from California as well?” Julie suggested, pointing to the end of their title card as Contestant 20, stating the band were from San Diego, just two hours away from where they all sat.

“Watch out.” Reggie muttered, turning to face his friends once more and waving a hand at Luke. “Patterson’s smitten.” He muttered, the words knocking a frown on Luke’s face as he straightened up and closed over the laptop, putting the voice of the mystery girl to the back of his mind.

“First off, I’m not. And second? This is a good thing!” Luke exclaimed, though it was clear to everyone he was changing the subject. “The contest starts in two weeks, and we have the upper hand. We submitted Bright as our audition song, and it’s great, but that wasn’t even our best performance of it! We literally ran out of time to submit something better!” He reminded them all, drawing their minds back to the start of the summer. They had done their very best to piece together the audition tape, but Julie had suddenly gotten sick and they lost a week or so of their schedule. They ended up submitting a draft version, and still got in. “That is probably their top tier, and we know we can match and beat that! Right now, they’ll think they have this in the bag, when they don’t.” He got to his feet, walking over and hooking an arm around Reggie’s neck. “We’re going into this prepared, and ready to blow the show’s socks off, yeah?”

“Yeah!” His bandmates chorused, Julie standing up and prompting Alex to do the same, the four congregating in the centre of the studio. She was the first to hold out her hand.

“Legends on three.” She called; smiles shared amongst the band.

“One.” Reggie went first.

“Two.” Alex next.

“Three.” Luke finished, four hands stacked atop each other, four teammates ready to try and take on the impossible.

Sleep didn’t come to Luke that night.

He opted to cycle home despite the late hour, and clambered into bed at around 3 am while Reggie opted to stay overnight in the studio, too lazy to take himself home, not that it was an uncommon occurrence. Since Alex has started living with the Molinas, Luke and Reggie found themselves crashing more and more often.

But Luke cycled home anyway, mainly because he wanted the chance to think in private, to be alone as he planned their success now the competition slot was confirmed. It was the opportunity of their lifetime: he wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. No matter how beautiful the lead singer of Electra Heart was.

She weighed on his mind from the moment he saw her well past sunrise, and as the light flooded in through Luke’s curtains with the boy getting no sleep, he opted for a shower before his parents got up for work, and hopefully getting to avoid talking with them as much as possible until Kayla came by to pick him up, always with Julie, Alex and Reggie in tow.

That was another thing: how would he be suddenly breaking the news of his rock band on global television to his parents, who have yet to find out how he really spends his free time?

As he stood under the hot water that morning, washing away the adrenaline and sweat from the night before, he couldn’t help but hum the girl’s song: why was it so catchy? He tried to rinse it away with his fatigue and the aches in his legs from the biking to and from Julie’s, but it wasn’t budging, and neither was her face. In an act of defeat, Luke clambered out the showered, and shoved his earbuds in as he dried himself off and got dressed for the day, drowning out her voice in his head with the loudest music his phone had available.

As Luke continued about his morning, shuffling around the house as he sorted his laundry for the week and got his bag ready for classes, it was only once his dad yanked on of the earphones out of his ear that Luke figured he might have had the music too loud.

“Lucas, you play that music any louder you’ll be deaf by year’s end.” His father muttered, gesturing for his son to take a seat at the table. Luke glanced at the clock: it would be another twenty minutes before Kayla showed up in the car, and he decided it wasn’t the morning to start an argument.

“What’s up?” He asked, reaching over and grabbing an apple as his father sighed across the table, cradling a cup of coffee in his hands. Luke took a bite, the flavour and scent filling his senses, only for that damned ear-worm to return.

“Luke, your mother and I are worried…” His dad began, and Luke frowned. It wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, it wouldn’t be the last. His parents had been set on sending him to college, or some sort of naval academy by Christmas, and Luke had continued to adamantly refuse. His grades were still doing well, perhaps thanks to the amount he copied off of Alex, and with his plan being the band anyway, it’s not like he needed school that badly anyway. “We want you to explore your options, to at least give some thought to your future.” His dad continued, and Luke took another bite of his apple, the song rattling in his head.

“I’m just fine.” Luke assured with an insincere smile, getting up from the table and heading back towards his room to grab his school bag. Perhaps he would just walk further down the road, get picked up on the Main Street.

“Son, come on now.” His father was a quiet, stern man, so while the words alone would have been a plea, the tone twisted them to an order, and Luke stopped just before his bedroom. “There’s an open day in a few weeks, all we ask is you go to it. No commitment, just attendance.” He continued, and Luke glanced back, shrugging.

“If you’ll get off my back about it then yeah.” He conceded with a roll of his eyes, quickly opening his room door and slamming it shut behind him, ending the conversation before his father ventured into small talk.

He waited in there, picking at his apple as he hummed the song from the night before, until a horn sounded outside, Luke then scooping up his school bag and rushing out the house as fast as he could, shouting a quick ‘goodbye’ as he slipped round the front door and closed it firmly, letting out a heavy breath.

He took a moment to compose himself before starting a light jog down his front lawn’s pathway to the car waiting at the bottom of the drive, chock full of his friends. Reggie was driving, Kayla and Julie sat tucked together on the front bench of the old vintage, while the back seat of the convertible was occupied by Alex, Flynn and Nick, who waved Luke over to the space free beside him.

“You know Kayla, the more people we pack in this car, the more likely it is your dad takes his car back.” Luke commented as he jumped into his tight spot in the back, sharing a fist bump with Nick as Reggie sped off in the direction of school.

“My dad gave up rights to this car the moment I started filling the tank, Patterson.” Kayla called back, Luke smiling and letting his head loll back as they raced along the back streets towards school. He could say he never felt more at home than with his friends, in moments like this.

“Like, shit, I forgot to congratulate you.” Nick called over the chatter in the car, garnering his friend’s attention with a dimples smile and tousled hair from the wind. Despite only the year separating them, Luke thought of Nick as a little brother, and the comment made him grin and pat Nick’s shoulder.

“Congratulate me when we win Battle of the Bands.” Luke corrected, leaning closer to make sure the front seat didn’t hear his next words. “And I’ll congratulate you once you finally ask out Julie, alright?” He posed the offer, Nick’s cheeks turning bright red. Luke chuckled it away, sharing a glance with Apex from across the backseat.

When they all got thrown into the same music class three years ago, it was pretty clear to Alex and Luke that Nick likes Julie, and vice versa. They had been trying to set the pair up ever since, with minimal levels of success. But with the impossible seeming to occur everyday now, who knew what might happen?

Reggie sped through a stop sign and near drifted round the corner into the parking lot, sending everyone in the car but Kayla grabbing for stability, whether it were the dashboard of the door or the back of seats, but they didn’t hit anything, and Reggie pulled into the assigned parking space the car had kept for the last year or so, right in front of the school quad.

“I can’t believe it’s the first day of our last year…” Alex remarked as everyone gathered their things and clambered out the car. They had become a collective over the past few years, a friendship group not easily frayed or broken, and as they walked in almost a clump across the school lawn, with Julie in the lead, it was quite difficult to not notice the rest of the school’s eyes resting on them.

Word must have gotten out about their good luck.

“What are you guys going to do without us when we’re gone?” Reggie asked with a grin, his arm sling over his girlfriend’s shoulder as the pair sauntered in the group’s centre, and Flynn turned back from her place beside Julie.

“Maybe get some school work done for once.” She clapped back, earning a chorus of chuckles and tones of agreement from amongst the group.

Luke was hanging back in the rear, taking a moment just to observe his friends, a habit he had gotten into over the summer: this was the last year they would, theoretically, all be together, and Luke had no intention of wasting any of his time with them.

“Hey, uh, Luke!” A voice interrupted his thoughts, the brown-haired boy spinning on the spot to come face to face with one of his classmates. She wasn’t someone he knew very well, granted, but he still smiled and took a step towards her, laying down the infamous charm.

“What can I do you for?” He asked with a dopey grin, which later turned to a smirk when she blushed profusely at his words.

“I was just… uh… Congratulations! On the contest, everyone’s talking about it.” She paused, rummaging in her bag and pulling out a slip of paper, Luke pulling a hand out of his pocket to accept the offering. “If you ever, I don’t know, if you’re ever free and wanna go out for a coffee or something…” She trailed off, and Luke examines the name and phone number.

“Well, Sara,” He read her name out, looking up at her as he spoke. “I’ll send you a text, maybe?” He suggested, taking a few steps back when he heard the sound of Julie shouting his name.

“Uh, yeah! Cool! See you around!” Sara beamed, waving him off as Luke turned to catch up with his friends, the interaction boosting his ego a little more as he went into day.

In fact, by the time lunch had come around, Luke’s day had been rather jammed packed with words of praise and offers of phone numbers, and it seems like his band mates had been experiencing the same thing. When Luke arrived at lunch after a gruelling lesson with Mr Norbert, glad that the rest of his day would consist solely of music, he found his friends at their preferred lunch table, each with a collection of notes falling from their pockets.

“Am… Do I need to act more gay? I thought people knew I was gay.” As Luke sat down, Alex asked the question to the table, Willie’s hand rubbing his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“What do you mean?” Luke asked as he set down his tray and took a bite of his sandwich.

“Four girls… Four girls have tried to ask me out today! And I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that? Did they not know I was gay in the first place?” He questioned again, head frantically searching for an answer as the boy’s anxiety began to build, only to be wheeled by Willie’s lip pressing to Alex’s cheek.

“Join the club, guys.” Carrie spoke up from the end of the table, a vision in pink as she and Julie shared notes from a previous class. “I’ve literally been receiving Instagram DMs for years, all the Dirty Candi girls have. The amount of guys that think they can ‘make you straight’.” The girl involuntarily shivered and let out a sigh. “This is just the beginning for you four. The amount of fan mail thanks to the competition will be huge.”

The Dirty Candi girls had been a group as long as Julie and the Phantoms has, but their music was so different there was no need for competition. They all just sort of became friends instead, and when it became clear the girls wouldn’t be allowed to audition for the Battle of the Bands because of Carrie’s dad’s position at Fall Down Records, there was a mixture of sadness and relief. No hard feelings were had, and no hard feelings would happen, because the last thing the friends wanted was to be compared with one another. They were all talented.

Plus, Dirty Candi performed on Ellen, so if anything they were currently the more well-known.

“In other news.” Flynn spoke up, pulling her eyes away from her phone to address the group. “There’s a new transfer student.” She announced, and glanced over at the clock on the far side of the cafeteria. “We should all be meeting them in about half an hour.” She said decidedly.

“How do you know?” Reggie asked with a mouth full of pasta. He had a semi-circle of clutter around him as he tried to eat and copy homework all at the same time, the boy quite aware of how lucky he was to have better-prepared friends than him.

“Mrs Harrison was our free period supervisor this morning. She got a call, disappeared from class and didn’t come back for twenty minutes.” Nick spoke up on Flynn’s behalf, the girl turned back to her phone to feverishly type away at the screen. “Mrs H has to welcome all the new music students.” He added quickly, glancing across the table as Julie nodded in agreement.

“They’re a senior, or we would have seen them in classes this morning.” The band’s lead singer stacked on top of the Juniors’ theory, and Carrie quickly got her attention back to point out a mistake she had made on the maths coursework.

“New students come in every year.” Luke remarked, brushing off the fascination with a wave of his hand. “Maybe we should talk a bit more about, oh you know, the fact that we’re going to be playing to millions of people on a televised game show in a fortnight!” Luke exclaimed, earning grins from around the table as they all got that hit of realisation again. It had felt like a dream the night before.

“Well, I don’t wanna spill secrets…” Carrie started, all eyes quickly on her. “But with dad hosting the show, there are some responsibilities the Wilson family are taking on… Like an acoustic jam session for the competing bands to meet each other.” She revealed with a squeak, taking a hold of Julie’s arm with excitement. “And don’t even get me started on the Halloween bash the Record Label will be holding…” She added, and Kayla hit Carrie’s arm playfully.

“You keep this up and you’ll rig the competition, C.” Kayla reminded with a meaningful smile, and the pink-themed girl rolled her eyes, but fell quiet nonetheless.

The conversation steered away from the competition for the rest of the lunch period, the friends slowly beginning the walk to music as eyes watched them pass. It wasn’t something any of them acknowledged, well, apart from Carrie on occasion, but they were the popular kids.

It was a mixture of charm, friendliness and musical success, but they had become the ‘it’ kids of Los Feliz High. None of them particularly disliked the role they had been prescribed either: the more people they knew, the more people would hear their music, the more people they could share their passion with. And it was nice, too, sitting at the top of the food chain. They had all been at the bottom at some point in time, and knowing their influence on their peers was a positive gave them all a little bit of pride.

“Quickly, quickly!” Mrs H called from the doorway down the hall, ushering the group to hurry toward the classroom, Julie and Luke in the lead as the nine kids shuffled through the door of the band room, Mrs H closing the door behind them. Their teacher quickly checked through the window to make sure no-one was on approach.

“Mrs H, is everything ok?” Julie asked, taking a step forward, and their teacher nodded quickly.

“I have a favour to ask. We’ve got a new student joining. I didn’t want to ask with other kids listening in but.” Mrs H paused, and relief flossed the faces of her students. There wasn’t any danger, just a request they usually got. “Could you make her feel at home? I. She’s been admitted to the program without an audition, I have no clue of her ability. I just don’t want her being overwhelmed, turned away again.”

“Anything for you, Mrs Harrison.” Luke chipped in, their teacher smiling and letting out a breath.

“Thank you… Right, get yourselves seated, we can have a chat more about this competition during second period, I’ll go fetch her from the office.” Mrs H explained, rushing out the door as their classmates filed in, the room becoming a hub of activity rather quickly as kids picked up their instruments and began tuning.

“How does someone get into the music program without auditioning?” Reggie asked, though there was no malice, just naïve curiosity. Unfortunately, his friends didn’t know how to answer him. It was a question they all had on their minds as they got themselves comfy in the room’s far corner, Luke collecting his guitar and Reggie’s bass from one of the storage cupboards, the pair nodding Julie over to the piano to help them tune the guitars.

It was Julie sat herself down at the grand piano that the door suddenly swung open, Principal Brown coming into the room in a dazzling magenta pantsuit.

“Good afternoon students.” She greeted, receiving a chorus of ‘good afternoon Principal’ back. “As some of you already know, we have a new transfer student joining us for her senior year, and she will be studying alongside you all part-time at the school’s music program.” The principal prefaced, quickly gesturing outside the door for Mrs Harrison to enter along side their new classmate.

“Is that…” Julie whispered, receiving a nod from Reggie and Luke.

The girl from the video last night, the front woman for Electra Heart, stood in their music classroom’s doorway, dressed like a model off a runway, a cigarette perched behind one ear. She was wearing a pair of red plaid trousers, paired with black heels and a corset style crop top, an oversized jean jacket thrown on top, all matched to a pair of sunglasses perched on the end of her nose. Her hair was in a bun, showing off the cigarette behind her ear and a collection of piercing along the earlobe. Her nails were all painted the same colour of red as her trousers, which matched the colour on her lips, which matched the outer corners of her eyeshadow.

“Perhaps you can introduce yourself?” Principal Brown asked, she too noticing the cigarette and plucking it from the girl’s ear, throwing it in the nearby trash can. The girl seemed unfazed by her actions, eyes scanning over the room until they landed on the piano, and the band members stood around it.

Luke couldn’t help but stare back, trying his best to keep his jaw from going slack. How was she here? How did she look better in person? And why in the name of God was Luke overcome with a sense of nostalgia as they looked each other over. There was something other worldly about her, something that made Luke feel like he was younger again. It was the eyes, that raked over his body as she smirked, eyes Luke had known to be timid and frantic when they were kids…

It suddenly click in his head.

“Class.” Mrs Harrison decided to speak for the student. “The is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“No fucking way…” Alex muttered standing up from the back of the class, causing confusion amongst his and Luke’s friends. The rest of them seemed to be missing something important, but were yet to figure out what.

“Y/N, why don’t you find yourself a seat?” Mrs H suggested, Principal Brown taking her leave as Y/N sauntered towards the far corner of the classroom, not pausing for even a second as she sat herself on Luke’s chair, arms folding over her chest as Luke’s gaze on her turned from one of surprise to one of raw, unfiltered annoyance, something Julie would later describe as ‘the angriest she’s ever seen’ her friend.

The pair stared each other down for a moment, Y/N the first to move and reach out an arm, taking Alex’s nearby hand in hers as he stayed standing, shocked by the revelation.

“Seven years is a long time, isn’t it?” Her voice was smooth, trained, like molasses dripping down. It stuck in Luke’s head, the words taking hold over his brain just like her song had earlier that day. Alex pulled the girl to her feet suddenly, the pair embracing in a tight hug, staying like that for a moment as the class watched on, as their friends watched on.

When they finally pulled apart, the girl turned her attention to the frowning Luke, whose knuckles were clenched so firmly that the skin was as white as bone.

It couldn’t be. How was she here? It had to be some kind of joke.

But her eyes were the same, her smirk so familiar, and the deal was sealed when she sat herself back down and crossed one leg over another, in his chair, sending a wink his way that was anything but playful.

“Well, hello there, Skywalker.”

He had always hated that nickname...

TAGS: @siennanoelle01 @epikskool @eries45 @thesweetestsinner @fangirlangioma @moviesbooksandfandoms @ohyoureaqueenbutuncrowned @saroo-hawks @charliessunset @lana-moe-fandoms @bigdesi @avngrsinitiative @emotionalbruv @lolychu @lazydaisy19 @korydickson @futuremrsb-r-main @uglypeachh @reggieandthereggies @rogersangel @izzyhogue @writerinlearning @independentgirl @delicatelukepatterson @mybrainiswhack @uhmitstori @mon-charmante @writingforphantoms @musicconversedance @mjflower @heimdoodle @kcd15 @-episkey- @billiesburritoess @walkingonshunshine @obxmermaid @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @kristencoontz @n0wornever @simp4madi @aliciameix @kinda-just-chillin-here @jatpfan @blueyed-one @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @ghostlyb1tch @leahstypewriter

#luke patterson #jatp au #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #luke patterson jatp #jatp luke x reader #jatp luke #jatp #julie and the phantoms #willex #luke patterson imagine #fluffy smut #fluffy angsty smut #smut #fluff #angst #julie and the phantoms alternate universe #enemies to lovers

333 notes · View notes

imaginesmai · 4 years

Text

Peter Parker - Baby on board

This is quite long, so sorry in advance. I’ve worked really hard on this, so I hope you like it!

Plot: An unplanned pregnancy is what you least expect at sixteen, but when it comes knocking on your door you can’t pretend you’re not home

A six steps guide of how to deal with an unplanned, teenage pregnancy

Warnings: teenage pregnancy

1. Self-denial and isolation.

They came together, hand in hand with the pink stick that you considered to have ruined your life in that moment. In the bathroom of that mall, where you had managed to sneak from your parents and with Peter, they knocked on the door and decided to stay. An unplanned pregnancy was something bad itself, and it felt as if to you it was even worse; just sixteen, in highschool and with conservative parents that didn’t let Peter spend the night in your house.

“Hey” Peter wrapped his shaky, pale fingers around your wrist, making you look away from the pregnancy test. He wasn’t much better; while you were letting the moment catch up with you, he already had tears on his eyes. “Sometimes – sometimes they’re wrong”

“It’s the third” you croaked out, pointing with your chin to the nasty bin where two positive test were buried.

“Yeah, but it can be, uh… something about you?”

“Like being pregnant?” you snapped at him.

“No! I mean, like – I – hormones?”

Peter was the last person to blame in that situation, but you felt like smashing his head against the bathroom door. The September warm wind was seeping through the small window, making sweat ran down your neck. You felt all clammy and sweaty, as if a bath would solve every problem you had. Probably, only a trip to the past and a few smacks to your past-self was the only solution.

Your phone beeped once more, and Peter was faster than you that time. He gripped the stick that was resting on your backpack and stared at it; with the dim light of the stingy cubicle, you knew the answer was the same.

It had been just one time, and you weren’t even sure that the condom broke before he took it out. You had convinced yourself that it was like that and you hadn’t bought the pill for the next day, sure that it had been just one time. And now, you were in a fake date with Peter to buy some pregnancy test to confirm what your period had screamed at you the past week.

“They can be still wrong” Peter whispered. He was sitting on the ground, forgetting about how dirty it was when the first test came back positive. “Maybe you’re ovulating, or – t-there ar-re some… some…”

“Just shut up” your voice broke and someone squeezed his throat between their fingers. “Shut up”

You got up from the toilet seat and took your backpack abruptly from the ground. The door hit the other side of the bathroom and an old lady who was washing her hands jumped surprised. You didn’t apologize or looked at her, just kept your eyes on the ground while the tears filled them. Peter fell to the ground trying to get up and gathering the two last tests in his hands at the same time, and the old lady emitted a low protest.

Hurried steps followed you through the mall, where no one bothered to pay attention to two distressed teenagers. Peter called your name a few times, until you reached the mechanic stairs and a group of people were in between. You kept walking, faster than what the stairs moved, and by the time you had left the mall, Peter was just ending the stairs.

With the two positive pregnancy tests still on his hand.

2. Anger and sadness

This step came from none of you; and if it did, you couldn’t have known since you spent the next three weeks locked in your room with your phone off. Peter came and went, even May stopped once or twice. But with the excuse of having a bad fight, your parents didn’t let them in – because they hadn’t really liked Peter from the start, a boy who was too normal and common for them. Your friends called, and whatever excuse Peter had told them seemed to work for a while. Still, the school year was starting and you had to go back at some point.

The anger came one morning, still new to throwing up and feeling as if someone else was controlling your body. Your father wasn’t home, it was your mother who heard you and helped you. And she knew, from the moment she held your hair up to the talk with your father that night. He hadn’t been always the loving dad you had wanted, but that night he was the farthest from it.

He gripped your arm until it bruised and forced you into the car, from where he took you to a private doctor. The man confirmed what you already knew – that yes, you were pregnant. It was then when you realized that you were pregnant, with a baby and that you were just sixteen.

“I can abort it” you said to your father for the thousand time, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Please, dad. Please – I will get rid of it, no one –“

“Will ever know? That’s what you want to say?” he screamed back. “We already know, Y/N! And that’s enough!”

He didn’t mention who was the father, because he already knew. Peter Parker, the boy who came one night to have dinner and stuttered too much for his liking. That lived with his aunt in a shitty apartment in Queens, and that was the most common teenager he had seen. As if he could already see the baby, your father glared with all the disgust he could muster to your stomach.

It didn’t matter if you promised to go to the clinic that same night again, and got rid of the baby as soon as possible. For all he cared, there was no going back.

“Take the bags!” he screamed once more, and for more purpose kicked the last of them out of the house. “And I swear, if I ever see you or that boy around, I will –“

“Mom” you cried out for your mother, who was behind him; with the same stone cold look from that morning. “Mom, please. Don’t kick me out. I don’t have anywhere to go, I don’t –“

The door closing was the only answer they gave you, and you fell to your knees in sobs and breathless cries. The night closed around you when, just a second after, someone inside turned off the lights of the porch, leaving you completely alone in the dark street. If your neighbours had heard the argument, they didn’t care about it. And it didn’t surprise you, because you had known all your life what type of friends your parents had.

You sat on the short stairs of your house, all your thoughts going to the barely there baby. You hated, screamed silently and cursed it before the birth, willing to walk yourself to the other side of the town and get rid of it. Thoughts about doing it yourself crossed your mind – you had heard from social media some ways to do so. You could spend the night somewhere, or just walking around, and the next day you could find something to do it. Your phone was still charged, and you checked the time.

When you did so, just as if your guardian anger was watching over you, the screen lighted up and Peter’s name appeared on the screen. More sobs broke through your body as you stared at the phone, and with shaky hands you unlocked it.

You bit your fist to avoid more sounds getting out, but Peter was silent. Too surprised about you finally picking up for the first time in three weeks, he realized he didn’t know what to do.

He had needed his own time to accept the news, and the biggest scolding from May when he told her. But from the moment you had told him between classes, he had known that you wouldn’t be alone.

“I didn’t think you would pick up�� Peter said, voice quiet and soft. There was no hint of anger or disappointment for isolation yourself, as you have thought. “I was, uh… I stopped by a few times. Your dad threatened to call the police on me and May. I’m sorry”

“He’s an idiot” you whispered back.

You stared at the ground in front of you, where one of your bags had fallen open. Your cheerleader uniform was peeking through, another problem to add to the list. There were so many things an unplanned pregnancy meant that you couldn’t imagine even half of it.

Three weeks of isolation had only served to make things worse and, as you realized in that moment, to lose the only person who was willing to stay by your side.

“If you want, we could – maybe, meet or something in –“

“My parents kicked me out” you interrupted him, letting it sound clearly that you had been crying. “They found out and they kicked me out. And they don’t care if I get rid of it, because they said that the damage is already done”

You talked fast and barely breathing between facts. Peter already knew your parents and how they worked and thought, and it wasn’t probably a surprise. Why you hadn’t told them sooner they news, you didn’t know. The nagging thoughts about your previous wild decision came back, and you decided Peter not only had the right to know, but probably knew better.

Peter Parker, the sweetest boy with the biggest smile that dated the cheerleaders captain. You thought about how the first time he talked to you the neck of his shirt was wrinkled around his blue sweater, and how everything fell out of his backpack when you approached him in class.

Truly, there was only one person you wanted then.

“I was thinking about doing it myself, and by thinking I mean thinking really hard. Maybe – some YouTube video, or… something” you kept talking. “But I’m not sure if it’s safe, because on Twitter there was a trend where girls talked about mortal abortions.”

“I can be there in ten minutes” he stated when you finished. “Don’t hang up”

3. Acceptation.

Peter and you made a list of things that an unplanned pregnancy meant, listening to May who tried to help you as much as she could. The poor woman was barely making it to the end of the month for two; and now, she had another person in her small apartment. But she hadn’t listened to any of your complains, just hugged you tight and you that that, when something doesn’t have a solution, what you have to do is roll with it the best you can.

She declined every protest that went through your mouth, and threatened to put spicy on your food if you didn’t told her your needs. Besides acting like a mother of two teenagers and taking care of an unplanned pregnancy, she tried to give advice too.

That was why she suggested to make a list of the things you knew and those that you would need to face. You sat on Peter’s bed, your new favourite place, and took your blue notebook, opening it from the back. The boy was sitting beside you, as close as possible. While he had lost weight in the last month because of the stress, his grip on your tight was strong.

“Where do we start?” you asked him, looking at the empty whiteness.

“There is a baby in you” Peter said, and you emitted a small chuckle. “What? We have to write things that we know about it, and that’s a good way to start!”

You looked at Peter briefly, and found him smiling. Without you knowing or noticing, it was the first time he did so since your period didn’t appear. The constant guilt and feeling like everything was his fault was present more than ever, and he could count with the fingers of one hand how much sleep he got in a week.

Still, with a small smile on his lips, Peter took the pen and the notebook and wrote down ‘there is a baby in there’. His calligraphy was shaky and, because he wrote too quickly, you could barely understand it. The words flew before you could stop them.

“The baby’s drawings are going to be better than your handwriting” you said, and Peter looked at you.

There was an unsaid question in the air that you still had to ask. May and Peter had picked you up from your house as Peter had promised, and none of you had said nothing about the abortion. You knew Peter was giving you time to think about it, and that he was respect whatever you did. His eyes shone with a special light, as if he was hoping that to see those first drawings.

Before you could say anything about it, Peter turned back to the notebook and put the final dot.

“I’ve got the second one” you took back the pen and wrote with neat handwriting the second fact.

The baby is going to be born

That time, you did notice how Peter did something he hadn’t done for a long time. Reaching forwards the small space in between, he pressed his lips against the corner of yours and emitted some low, happy noise, already writing number three on the notebook.

4. Working through it.

Something that had always differentiated you from Peter, and probably the reason why you didn’t date sooner, was because of your ‘high-school status’. While you were the cheerleaders captain, Peter spent his extra time in the Academic team and in the robotics lab. It was never a problem for your relationship, but the truth was you were used to hanging out with the popular group. And now, the cheerleaders team turned their faces when you walked past them and the football team had kicked you out.

No one said anything in the halls and the teachers didn’t show any particular interest on you. But they all talked about it and gossiped about the head of the cheerleaders, the nerd of the robotics club and the pregnancy.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to” Peter talked with his head in the locker, while you waited besides him. “We can meet other time, or not at all. They will understand, and –“

“It’s your house, Pete” you repeated once more. “Just because I’m there now it doesn’t mean you can’t make your life”

“Yeah, but I want you to feel as comfortable as possible” he handed you a book and kept going. “We can still have the house for us tonight”

“Don’t get me wrong, but that’s the last thing I want, considering how it ended last time”

You were past the point of avoiding the topic, and Peter got his head out of the locker with a big, radiant smile. Not knowing why, you took a step towards him and locked your lips briefly. He looked at you surprised and blushed, as if the small bulge wasn’t enough prove that you were dating.

“Come on, we’re going late”

The rest of the day passed by Peter’s side, still not willing to leave him for just a moment. Peter insisted that you weren’t clingy at all, but you were sure he would agree whatever you told him

At gym class, you sat on the benches and watched some of the boys play basketball and football. It was the last period of the day, and the teacher hadn’t appeared; so they had told you to stay in the gym until the bell rang. There were group of teenagers sitting on the benches behind you, all of them laughing and talking happily. Peter had gone change and you had thought it was a little too much following him there too, so you were waiting sitting alone.

In moments like that, when you didn’t feel Peter beside you, were when you felt the weight of the pregnancy. You missed your parents and your friends, or just having someone to talk who wasn’t obligated by it because of carrying his baby – which wasn’t the truth, but it still stung.

“You look like a baby duckling waiting for his mommy”

You turned around and saw the brown haired girl Peter had told you about. There was a shy looking boy behind her, who you recognized as Ned. Ned and MJ, Peter’s best friends who were coming tonight for a movie marathon. You smiled at her, not knowing what to say. And trying not to show it was the first time someone outside that apartment talked to you.

“If you give him too much attention, he’ll start believing he has power over you” MJ said as she sat a few inches away from you. You forced yourself not to shift farther. “Women can sustain themselves and don’t depend on men”

“I don’t… depend on him” you said, not as strongly as you wanted. “And Peter doesn’t, uh, do that”

“Emotional attachments are dispensable”

“But –“

“What she’s trying to say” Ned appeared on your other side, and suddenly you weren’t alone anymore. “Is ‘hi, we’re Peter’s friends’”

“No, I didn’t want to say that”

“And we wanted to talk to you before tonight” Ned ignored MJ. “Without Peter, which is quite hard since he won’t leave you alone.”

Maybe Peter was as clingy to you as you were to him, but you didn’t mind. There was a second of silence where you really thought the conversation was heading southwards. You remembered the shouts of the cheerleaders when you told them and the whispers and not so discreet questions in the bathroom the first days, until May screamed at the principal and he talked some sense into the students.

MJ was the one who broke the silence, not batting an eye or even looking at you; and you got the impression, that she did that with everyone. Feeling normal and not ‘special’ was something you missed.

“Ned here wanted to ask you if you were really okay with tonight, because he has been stressing over it the whole day” said boy emitted an offended noise before she continued. “And I just wanted to say that we can leave them to it and go commit some vandalism before you’re too ahead of your pregnancy. To become friends”

Something about the way she said all of that without looking bothered, and how Ned fell into a stuttering of offended talking and apologise made you break into a loud laugh. That was how Peter found you when he rushed out of the locker room with his shirt half put, laughing with Ned while MJ smiled at him.

5. Hope

Peter always accompanied you to the doctor’s visits, and once he had brought Ned with him because – you still didn’t know. It didn’t matter if you were young and immature, Peter picked up the responsibility from the first moment.

That was why it was so hard for him say no to one of your visits. The Decathlon team had their annual competition in Albany, and they wanted to spend the weekend there. Peter had said no, but May and you had pushed him literally into the bus and thrown his bag to Ned. He had called you before and after the doctor’s visit, and you had barely contained your excitement. Because what you knew was better to say in person, not by a videocall with Ned and MJ interrupting.

The moment came when you were laying on your new bed, Peter’s old one, and Peter on his own, the top bunker. He was reading some book for the modern literature and you were waiting for him to come down, just to see his face. He jumped down to take a glass of water when you threw at him what you had been hiding behind you.

“Ow!” Peter cried out the package hit him. You had grown used to see him with wide clothes and comfy slippers, and to see how he always put his guard down around the apartment. “What was that for?!”

“Just open it, dummy”

“What is it?” Peter took the fallen box and frowned. “It doesn’t weight”

“Which shows that you’re a drama queen” you smiled at him, your arms around your mid swollen belly. “Come one, open it”

“It’s not my birthday” he tried again, ripping the envelope slowly. “Is this an apologize gift for breaking the toaster?”

“We both know you broke it”

“No proofs, just doubts and you being the last one to use it”

“Yet you’re the one who tries to put weird food in there”

“I don’t –“

He stopped talking the moment the envelop fell to the ground, and a small t-shirt appeared. It was a cheesy way to tell him that you were having a baby girl, considering that you still didn’t know if you would give her up for adoption. But when talking about the baby, she would no longer be an ‘it’ but a ‘she’.

The shirt had written ‘daddy’s girl’ in red letters, and it was so small that it fit in Peter’s palm. You felt as if it was your own moment of being a teenager, telling him like one of those videos you were addicted to. Although it them, the parents usually were happy or surprised. Not like Peter was, just looking at the t-shirt.

“I thought about, naming her Mary” you added. “After your mother”

He could be quite slow when he wanted to, so you waited until he finally looked up. There were tears on his eyes and cheeks, some of them falling already to the ground and accompanied with a big smile. He didn’t even made it to the bed; just knelt in between and hugged you from the ground, cries filling the room.

6. Happiness.

All the steps mixed together when the last one came. It was the middle of April when Mary Parker decided it was time to see the world. You were taking your classes from home, and Ned, MJ and Peter were an extension to your body. The pair of friends were always at the apartment, and May didn’t have the heart to tell them to go when they all looked so excited.

The day of her birth all of you were having dinner in the small kitchen. May had made what she said was the best spicy food to make someone give birth, and Ned and MJ were spending the night because it was Friday. Peter was seated on your right, talking to his aunt when you felt the first weird pain; and from then, it went all downhill.

“Just breath”

“I know how to breath”

“Well – breath slower! You’re hyperventilating!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“I’m not –“

Peter was cut off with a loud scream from you, as you closed your eyes tightly and tried to do what the doctor said. You were indeed breathing too quickly, and Peter was panicking too much. Even May wasn’t much help, being a nurse and all.

The delivery room was as plain as possible, with just a small bed, a big window that had the curtains drawn and a chair for the plus one to sit on. There hadn’t been a chance, because as soon as you had put a foot on the hospital Mary decided that she was as impatient as her daddy, and wanted out now. You had thought you would have to give birth in a taxi, since May had left her car on the hospital.

Another scream tore the room and Peter shouted at May that no, he wasn’t panicking and that he was breathing fine. There were too many shouting and stress, and you felt like passing out. Films didn’t do justice to real life delivering.

“It’s almost over, sweety” one nurse told you, brushing her hand through your forehead. “You’re being really brave, just a few more push”

“I don’t feel brave” you broke down in sobs suddenly, making Peter’s eyes go wide. “I’m just sixteen, I don’t want to be brave. I want – I want – I don’t know!”

“Hey” Peter was suddenly all you could see. He was paler than usually, sweat running down his face. “You don’t have to be brave alone”

Your problems didn’t solve with those words, neither did the pain stop. But once, May had told you that there is a feeling of power that only comes with the family. You took strength out of something you didn’t know you have and pushed once more in the mildly lighted up room. The doctor screamed something at one of the nurses, and movement came to life. Everyone was doing something or talking, no one was still.

Just you, Peter by your side and the small, high-pitched scream that changed the tune of the room. May appeared too, with a blanket that couldn’t hold anything because was too small. She left it on your lap, and you thought she was just making sure it was too cold. Before you could say anything, the blanket moved, and bright blue-baby eyes were staring at you.

There were just an inch long, not even there in a face that was as big as your fist tight closed. Her whole body wasn’t much bigger that your head, and when she opened her mouth, it seemed she was swallowing herself.

“Mary” Peter called out of her. The baby didn’t reacted, just kept screaming and announcing her presence into the world. “Mary Y/L/N”

Not able to tear your eyes away from her face, you almost didn’t notice the change of the name. Still, you muttered a soft ‘what’ that was enough for Peter to explain.

“MJ is totally against the baby receiving the dad’s first name, because it’s the woman who gives birth to them” Peter said, time stopped. “And I couldn’t agree more, she has to have the last name of the bravest person of the world”

The first time you learned about the pregnancy, you couldn’t talk because someone squeezed your throat so hard that made you dizzy. And now, it was free and you could breathe again. There were no second thoughts about what you would do with Mary Y/L/N Parker as you held her close that night.

Eventually, everyone left and the baby was cleaned. The doctor let you hold her while the sun rose, Peter laying too in the small bed and Mary in between. She had fallen asleep somewhere in between, and she didn’t get to see her first sunrise. Neither did you or Peter, who didn’t tear your eyes away.

You may have been sixteen, might have thought about getting rid of the baby and your life had been turned upside down. But you hadn’t been more sure of anything before, that you loved that baby and Peter Benjamin Parker to death.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Tom Holland and Peter Parker Taglist

@delicately-important-trash

@lexxxistrips

@smilexcaptainx

@aikaterrina

@zalladane

@gypsystuf (since you didn’t answer me, I just put you on the general taglist. Let me know if you want to change!)

@nikkixostan

@galaxystern08

@justifymyfeelings

539 notes · View notes

windhowell · 3 years

Note

hi! not sure if you were around for this but here we go

i'm a kind of new dnp fan (last year) so i wasn't around for BIG/COTY, so i'm taking a poll of the people who were around for it (this is purely morbid curiosity btw). what was your reaction/the phandoms reaction on your end when the videos first dropped? thank you 💕

oh wow okay that is a QUESTION

(for some context i’ve watched dan since 2012, and then i started watching phil and “joined phannie social media etc” at the end of 2014 when they started the gaming channel) i took a break from all the social media side of this fandom in 2018 (but i always watched every dan and phil video) so when dan uploaded BiG i wasn’t expecting anything to drop? so i saw it and was like 👁👄👁

my reaction to BiG is hard to put into words, honestly i never thought dan would come out publicly, i never thought he would feel safe enough to (or WANT to tbh) so my initial feeling was like oh my god i’m so fucking proud ?? also i had thought for years that a possible reason for dan not wanting to talk about sexuality was that he was bullied at school, but i didn’t expect it to be THAT BAD so i was definitely in shock at the school and bullying section for a while, and felt very angry at what he has had to deal with for so long (especially as he basically hinted at that apart from phil, nobody knew he was gay most of his LIFE)

one thing i will say is that my reaction to the phil section has dramatically changed over the almost two years since i first watched BiG. at first i (and many MANY other dnp followers) definitely fell into the trap of being very overexcited about that statement and making a bigger deal out of it than we should (ofc dan was expecting this and you know its OKAY, but like, it kinda bugs me still that people talk about it very light heartedly) watching that now makes me so angry thinking about what they had to fucking go through, how gross people acted, but also how sad it is that so many of the people who said stuff that upset dan and phil in the 2011-2014 era were closeted teenagers so like its not as if i actually think they hold any blame ? idk its very confusing but yeah

but the FANDOM’S reaction to BiG ??? complete and utter chaos like everyone was just in a sort of collective wave of shock the day it dropped but also there was so so so much love like the youtube comment section on that video the first day was so so lovely and it was so surreal to see it trending number one on twitter like i think most people couldn’t quite process that it had happened ??

my reaction to COTY was literally 😳😳😳 phil’s complete confidence and self assurance in being a 32 year old homosexual man shocked me to my fucking core, he really came on main and said “i am a gay man and i have never liked a woman in my life, get over it, i love myself and you should love me too, bye!” and i LOVE IT honestly i aspire to feel like that in regards to my own queerness one day.

i think the fandom’s reaction was a mix of “i mean like we already know you’re gay because of dan” and “LET PHIL SPEAK FOR HIMSELF OMG I MUST PROTECT PHIL” (hint: both of these were 😐😐) but i do think we collectively made phil feel very loved and supported and he communicated that with us and that was very nice to be a part of.

overall it was a very positive, overwhelming and intense time to be a dedicated phannie, especially when dan posted his video, but also like it really did feel like a new era was coming which was so lovely. everyone was very very proud of dan and it felt like a great community to be in.

also maybe its a bit strange but i just felt such like contentment because OF COURSE the two men who had made me feel at home and happy and safe were massive fucking queers just like me. like obviously they’ve both talked about boys for years but theres just something about them being out, and me being like yeah these boys that i have loved and supported AND MET are just as queer as me and i cant begin to explain how amazing that felt

#ask #thanks for the ask anon #sorry i went and wrote an essay lmao #but anyone who has any questions about my rambles feel free to send an ask!#basically im gay #coming out to you

15 notes · View notes

paradoxicalloop · 4 years

Text

Ok, so I promise I’m only going to make one post about this and then I’ll shut up. But...I have a fascination/crush/obsession/idolization/squish (idk I know it’s at least one of those things. Feelings are confusing.) on the Tiktok Willy Wonka guy aka Duke Depp. Anyway I’m going to infodump all my facts/opinions about him because I can.

Strap Yourselves in Cause This is a Lot

Ok so, just to preface; I know he’s “The Thirst Trap Willy Wonka” but tbh I don’t really think that’s the thing that attracts me to him. It’s just he has a very interesting life and personality that my psychology-loving self is very interested in. Anyway, before we get into this I’ll give some backstory for anyone who doesn’t know who I’m talking about.

Duke, known online as Duke Depp/Duke Moose, is a 19 year old kid who does a pretty decent Johnny Depp Willy Wonka impression. He started a tiktok account as Willy Wonka on May 3rd of this year with a really low quality blond wig and sunglasses, keeping his identity secret. His content consisted mainly of him reciting lines from the movie and talking to his viewers as Willy Wonka. His account grew rapidly and once it hit 200k followers, which happened in a mere few weeks, he upgraded his costume, complete with a black wig, top hat, and custom made jacket very similar to the one Johnny Depp wore in the movie. When he hit 1M followers within another few weeks, he did the much requested face reveal and started a second account as himself, going by the name Duke Depp. As of right now willywonkatiktok has nearly 14M followers and both willywonkatiktok and dukedepp are verified. Willy Wonka has evolved into a sex symbol of sorts for the people of Tiktok and is the crush of many Gen Z’s, this is primarily the result of a shirtless “thirst trap” to the song “I Wanna Love You” by Akon posted on July 26th. While he has uploaded many more thirst traps since that one, that video currently has 103M views and is his most viewed tiktok. His account now consists of tiktok trends, dances, and interactions with other famous tiktokers.

(That really looked like a Wikipedia article or something lol) Now let’s get to what many people may not know about WillyWonkaTiktok/Duke Depp’s life. Particularly, the things I find interesting.

He is an international wedding photographer. He graduated high school 2 years early (despite not being particularly great at school) in order to become a professional international photographer at age 16! Um... how?? Anyway his photography is actually really good and you can check it out @/dukemoose on Instagram.

His name is not Duke Depp or Duke Moose. According to Willywonkatiktok’s Famous Birthdays profile (which Duke has seen and confirms the information on it is true), his real name is actually Tyson Duke Charlesworth. This fact isn’t particularly shocking but I thought it was interesting.

Willywonkatiktok, while it is Duke’s claim to fam, is actually not Duke’s first experience as an online content creator. On top of being a fairly well known photographer, he also has a podcast with his sister Kaestle (pronounced Kest-lee) (on tiktok @/kaestlecastle) that has been ongoing for over a year; “The Mode Podcast.” On this weekly podcast they talk about everything from childhood memories to tv shows to current events.

That was an overview of the parts of Duke’s life that interest me, now here are some “facts” about his personality

He is very self centered (sorry it’s true). But honestly who can blame him? He put a wig on and said a few words and suddenly he has a million followers less than 2 months. Did a few tiktok trends and danced with his shirt off and now has 14M followers in 6 months and is hanging out with Iggy Azalea. (tbh the psychology nerd part of me is so intrigued with how this is rapid fame is affecting his psyche) But the point still stands, he is a bit cocky.

He hates starbursts. The second time he tried one he literally threw up because of how bad it was.

He doesn’t like the color red.

He has a crush on Emma Chamberlain (go watch his YouTube video on that if you want more info. It’s actually pretty funny)

Which leads me to my next fact: he has a sense of humor. He is very self aware of how weird his current job is as the “hot” Willy Wonka and he has fun with it. Making fun of himself and his situation via comments and videos on his dukedepp account. He also has frequent comment “arguments” with his alter ego.

He goes through random phases where he gets obsessed with certain people and/or things (definitely can’t relate to that one pfft idk what you’re talking about).

He loves chihuahuas.

He loves reality tv.

And finally, he is, objectively...very attractive.

That’s about it for my Willy Wonka/Duke infodump. If you made it this far I’m very impressed. Have a cookie. 🍪

#his fan base is super weird tho #willywonkatiktok #dukedepp #v’s thoughts

6 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

766

My dad is starting to gear me up for ~adult life~ and has made me start a Paypal, a social security number, and all that jazz and it’s making me immensely anxious, so expect more surveys than usual in the next few days lmao.

How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Not frequent at all. I’ll read only if I have to; and when it comes to reading for leisure, I’ll only reread books I’ve already read in the past. I find it sad considering how big of a bookworm I was as a kid. When was the last time you questioned the direction your life was taking? Right now, what with the Covid crisis. My life would have been mapped out ever so neatly if my life’s schedule went as expected - finish the sem, finish my thesis, graduate, travel for a bit, get a job. Now that that has been thrown out the window I essentially have to start from scratch and go into the world blind. And if you've been reading my surveys, you’ll know my least favorite thing to have to deal with is big change. Would you say that your personal views align with society's, generally? Not the society I have no choice but to be surrounded by, which is mostly Catholic, homophobic, sexist, and just very backwards in general. But when it comes to people I voluntarily choose to be with, like the friends I make and the people I follow on social media, I make sure their views are as liberal as mine so I don’t go completely crazy. ^ If not, in what ways do your opinions drastically differ? I just said it, but yeah Filipinos continue to be very resistant to more open-minded, modern views. Girls will still often be told to cover up, religions other than Christianity are viewed as wrong and of lower status, abortion is the most scandalous thing a woman could do, drug addicts must be handled with bullets and not rehab, etc. Basically everything you can roll your eyes over, that’s what Filipinos will tend to side with; and it’s very difficult to want to have your voice heard here because you will be ridiculed and thrown Bible verses instead of legit arguments. What small things have the ability to get under your skin? People who only start picking their orders once they’re the ones at the cashier, drivers who do have their turn signal on but will go THE OTHER DIRECTION, finding out there’s a car accident and I find out traffic has been building up only because drivers slow down to look at the crash site. The last one makes me especially mad every time it happens lol.

When was the last time you were caused to be upset with someone? I haven’t been upset with anyone in a while. If I’m upset these days, blame it on the weather. ^ Have you made up with that individual yet, or will you ever? I will never be ok with the summer climate over here. What is something small that has the ability to cure a bad mood? Hearing a favorite song on the radio as I’m driving, hitting all the green lights while driving, finding a parking spot near the mall entrance... man I really miss going out :(( What beverage is best capable of quenching your thirst? Water. What was the last big change through which you went? It hasn’t happened yet but I’ll be graduating and will officially be done with school forever in a few weeks. I mean, that’s the case unless I decide to take up a master’s but honestly the chances of that are super blurry as I’m over school at this point. ^ Do you deal well with change, typically? Have you always? I am honestly terrible at it and as much as I’m excited to get my first real job, I’m also scared to see how my adjustment pans out. I’ve had a pattern for not being able to adapt well to a new phase – I didn’t adjust in high school until my junior year, and I didn’t adjust in college until the latter half of my sophomore year. I really wish the trend doesn’t continue in the workplace because I can’t handle another mental slump. How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? I feel nothing? I mean I need the internet to do almost everything so it��s just become a part of daily routine; it’s normalized already. I would tend to feel some shame if I’ve been unproductive online when I could’ve been doing much more important stuff, but I’ve been avoiding that - I’ve been working on my thesis again, working on stuff for my org, participating in my other extracurriculars, etc. I feel relatively productive given the current circumstances. What do you consider to be the biggest drawback to being you? Like I said, I’m terrible with change. It takes forever for me to warm up to new conditions, and in that period I tend to feel very alone and miserable. I don’t know why I’ve never learned to just get out and make friends earlier. What do you consider the best part of being who you are? ^ Related to said drawback, once I have adjusted to the change, I do very well. I make lots of friends and am back to being my bubbly, social self. I just wish She could come out more easily. What kinds of things do you have on display in your room? Several Audrey Hepburn frames, a couple of paintings, and a poster of a Korean actor. What do you think your room and its contents say about you, if anything? I think more than anything you’ll see how my interests have shifted over the years haha. There’s tons of old WWE magazines, Paramore albums, Beyoncé albums and DVDs, crafty stuff like painting sets and coloring books, etc. When was the last time you felt insecure about something/some situation? Half hour ago when my dad was encouraging me to register for a bunch of grownup stuff. He doesn’t pester me a lot in small bits everyday (which I would really prefer); he’s more of a I’ll-dump-all-this-shit-on-you-in-one-go kind of person, which pressures me even more. I mean I’m excited for this new chapter but I wish he didn’t tell me to start a bank account and a Paypal and a social security number and a TIN all at the same time. What is something about which you are very confident or self-assured? I pride myself on being a good worker/co-worker. Do you ever stop to contemplate infinity? No. Are you comfortable amongst nature, or does the wilderness discomfit you? Sure, it makes me feel at peace. When was the last time someone or something caught you off guard? Andrew did a buuuunch of progress on our thesis this afternoon after a few days of passive-aggressively telling him that I’ve been doing all the work in the last week. How much time do you put into maintaining your appearance and hygiene? I don’t want to take a lot of time since I’m usually on a tight schedule but I do put enough effort to look and smell nice, if that makes sense. Like I wouldn’t take hours to do my makeup and put up an intricate hairdo, but I will still make sure I don’t exit the house looking shabby. Are there any foods you eat daily? . . . Or wish you could? I have rice and some sort of meat everyday. When was the last time someone new entered your life? Start of the semester when we had a new wave of applicants joining our org. ^ What was your first impression of that individual? They all seemed nice and fun to be around, and I’m glad their batch has had amazing chemistry from the get-go. But because of the lockdown I never got to know them all that well so I’m a little sad about it, since I’m already graduating. Do you put much thought into your handwriting? No? It’s not really something I can control anyway haha. What are some of the top priorities in your life right now? Ugh I’ve talked about this so much on here that it’s almost stupid because I take these surveys to begin with to distract myself from my current anxieties only for the surveys to ask about said anxieties ksksksks. Can I say pass for now? Lol In general, how do you feel about romantic relationships? They’re nice, and it feels good to have a person you can share everything to, be affectionate with, who supports you in everything, etc. I’ve been used to being in one for so long now I honestly can’t imagine being single. Which emotional sensation inconveniences or bothers you the most? As if I haven’t talked about it on this single survey enough, anxiety. Are you capable of consoling others in their grief? It depends on how bad is the thing they’re grieving and how accepting they are of help. I don’t know if I’m capable of talking to someone who has lost a parent, but I’ll be able to talk to a friend who’s going through a breakup. Do you ever find it awkward to compliment another being? No. I can give compliments, but I’m unable to take them. When was the last time you had a new experience? What was it? Earlier this afternoon when my dad made me make a Paypal hahaha. Skskss plz stop reminding me of scary things Do you dress more for yourself, or to the expectations of others? A little bit of both. I want to look nice, but I also make sure I keep up with the trends so others think I look nice. What kinds of things tend to stress you out? The stuff I’ve mentioned throughout this survey... What is one way you cope when you feel like crap? I watch videos, I eat whatever I’m craving, I talk about it with my girlfriend, I hug my dog... I have a lot of coping mechanisms.

Name an insult you regularly receive, if there is one? My mom tells me so many insults on a regular basis I can put each one of them in a spinning wheel and give you whatever comes out lol. Name a site that takes up a lot of your time? YouTube. What is something you used to believe about life that you no longer do? That money was easy to acquire. It was certainly so easy to fantasize about as a kid. What is a lesson you have recently learned? I don’t recall picking up anything new lately. Realizations, sure; but I’m not sure about lessons. Do you have a tendency to look on the morbid side of life? Sometimes. When was the last time you went shopping? What did you buy? A weekend before the quarantine. I bought a couple of new tops. When you shop for clothing, how long does it take you? 10-15 minutes tops. I just pick out whatever looks pretty. What is something fun you have done within the past week? It’s been a horrid week. I can’t answer this question. What is something you hope you never have to do again? Stay at home with nothing to do for this long. How does the rain affect your mood, if it does? It makes me feel happy and at peace.

#survey #surveys

7 notes · View notes

seawitchkaraoke · 5 years

Text

So in germany a few days ago a youtuber called Rezo made a video called “Die Zerstörung der CDU” (The destruction of the CDU). Now the CDU is our biggest political party, the party Angela Merkel is from, pretty conservative.

And well as you can guess from the title, he took them apart. With facts. He had about 50 sources and made arguments about what they’ve done or not done for the economy, climate change, their general incomopetence and the fact that germany has helped or at the very least not stopped the USA from killing innocent people with drones. All while the CDU has been in power. He also roasted the SPD which claims to be the social-democratic party but recently hasn’t been all that, has also been in power for much of the past years and is therefore equally to blame, doesn’t keep their promises and in the end too often caves in to what the CDU wants. Also general incompetence. That seems to be a theme.

Now the video was pretty well researched, again he had a lot of sources, of course not all of his arguments were airtight, but he made some very good points. You’d think the CDU could use that to y’know start a dialoge, make their own arguments, or say “yes some of that is right, we’ll try to do better”. Instead they threw a fit, got really mad, made some disparaging commments about Rezo and youtubers in general. (they also released a 12 page open letter, that i haven’t read except for a few quotes (that disparage youtubers and claim that the CDU deals in trust.... right)

Anyway today was the european election and the CDU lost quite a bit. Especially among voters under 30 (SPD lost a lot too). And I’d hope that they take that as a sign that they should change what they’re doing, because when the main people who vote for you are people older than 70, you’re eventually gonna have a problem. But I can already see them claiming that Rezo used his fame to influence poor young voters who would otherwise surely have voted CDU. Because that’s absolutely what happened.

I think what Rezo did, was maybe convince some more people to actually go vote. And maybe some kids <18 to tell their parents to not vote CDU. But his video didn’t suddenly make young people hate them. We already did that before Rezo, he just summed up all the reasons we do.

The hashtag #niemehrcdu (never again cdu) was already trending before Rezo. It trended every time a CDU politican claimed that all the mails he got about article 13 were bots, every time they said the friday for future kids should protest after school, not miss school for it, every time they said that the kids didn’t know what they were talking about, that they were instrumentalised or that the thousands of young people on the streets had been payed to be there or that they should leave this kind of thing to the professionals (no wait. that was Christian Lindner from the FDP.... well we don’t exactly like him either).

The CDU ignored us and pretended everything we do doesn’t count, isn’t true, isn’t right or is just fake news (yes. they used #fakenews to talk about Rezo’s video... did i mention the 50 sources?).

They will blame Rezo for this. They will keep infantilising young voters and soon to be voters, keep pretending that we were instrumentalised, that we can’t think for ourselves. That we don’t count.

Well our green party got around 21% and is the new second biggest party (SPD fell to around 15) The only reason green isn’t above even the CDU is that old voters outnumber young voters in germany. They will die though. And the CDU will die with them.

Sadly by that time it’s probably gonna be too late for our planet.

#german politics #cdu #rezo #spd #european elections #sorry i had to rant #cdu hasn't been listening this whole time #they won't listen now #no matter whether young people vote for them or not

181 notes · View notes

thestarrythoughts · 4 years

Text

Confronting My Anxiety Around Food

After all these years, I have finally come to accept that I do struggle with food. Growing up, similar to many other girls out there, I used to go on ridiculous fad diets, restricted my food intake while increasing the frequency and intensity of my exercise and would purposely avoid eating with people just to make sure that I get to eat something “healthy”. Somehow, I was able to sort of convince the people around me that I was just into healthy food and that i managed to find a balance. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a picky eater and naturally, I do enjoy my whole foods like vegetables and grains! I avoid fast food and fried food because I do not enjoy them for they are oily and they get my quiet bloated at times. However, I realised that my anxiety around food started to change as I started to get older. Allow me to share my story with you; In my teenage years, say around 13-15 years old, it was the era where tumblr was the prime website where everyone was on. Instagram started getting more popular too. During those period, I started seeing more photos of other girls out there with picture perfect bodies. Victoria Secret was a big thing as well! The Victoria Secret runway show was something that we all looked forward to! Seeing those curvy and long bodies sure made me realise that my body looks nothing like theirs and I really wanted to look like that. With that, there were many different “influencers” and platforms that were promoting and advocating fad diets, the ones who were meant to be quick and effective. The trending diet culture was already screaming at us to EAT LESS!!! RUN MORE!!! EXERCISE IS KEY!!! So, I started exercising more and eating less. At that time, i was also in a physically demanding team sport, netball, so I was training two to three times a week. On top of that, I would add on my own physical training. During recess, I would try to eat as little as possible by buying fruits or yoghurt or I would bring a tuna wrap from home to munch on. What I did not realise is that this led me down to a road of binge eating and a lot of self-hatred. Whenever I stood in front of a mirror, I was never satisfied. I never got that 6 pack abs or that thigh gap and it would always be my fault. Being in an all girls school also did not help. I was constantly surrounded by girls who were skinnier and prettier than me. I guess I just wanted to look like them as well. I could not help but to blame myself every single time that I failed to adhere to a diet.

As I grew older, as a result of training harder for sports, I realised that I had to eat more to fuel myself for the intensive trainings. I started educating myself with regards to food. I came to an understanding that I needed to eat more in order to perform better. The struggle was that I did not want to eat more but I knew that I had to. So instead of trying to restrict my diet as much, i became obsessed with eating healthier. I became very conscious about the way that the food I was having was being prepared. Also, if i ate out and ate something unhealthy, I would make it up the next day by eating super clean. And this would be the current struggle.

Growing older meant that my body was going through changes, changes that I did not welcome. I started to get slightly bigger, my hips definitely got bigger and generally, I started putting on more weight. In university, I started to become less active because I was no longer playing team sports as often and I was just overall physically less active. I was staying on campus which meant that I did not really have access to “clean” food and to save money, I ate whatever was offered. I had a bad coping mechanism with stress as well. Sometimes I would take the healthier route by exercising and going for runs, but other times, it was easier to grab a snack. On some days, I would be super conscious on what I was eating. On other days, especially when I felt like shit, I would just eat whatever I wanted to. I faced multiple set backs in university and I was very stressed. It’s not surprising that I gained so much weight but yet I was very surprised because I rarely ate supper (like less than 10 times in my whole 2 years of university) and I still tried to exercise regularly. As a result, whenever I could, I would try to be super obsessive about the food that I was eating because I wanted to take control. I wanted to feel like I was in control. Unfortunately, I was bouncing back and forth between restricting food intake, binge eating, self-blame, trying to eat clean, breaking the diet... I was devastated and tired.

Right now, by being in quarantine, I am forced to confront my unhealthy eating habits. I realised that I get super stressed out about food and I’m always thinking about how to make my next meal the “clean meal”. I get super uptight when my parents would buy food from outside. Choosing the healthier option is not wrong, but it was more than just that. It was the guilt that came with that. I celebrated my 21st birthday in quarantine which meant that I had cake at home. My lovely family and friends delivered cake and cupcakes to my place and that led to the fridge being full of sweet treats. Because I did not want to waste the food, I started snacking on the sweet treats here and there. Though it felt great at that moment, it would not be long before the feeling of guilt would consume me again. In this period, I felt like i was yoyo-ing between different mentalities. Sometimes i would be forgiving to myself for being a little less restrictive, sometimes i would be super uptight about it. I would skip full meals just to have a cheesecake... well because the calories do add up don’t they? During this period, a lot of “fitspo” influencers started speaking up as well. People were saying things like “oh don’t put yourself under a lot of stress, just be kind to yourself”, and others were like “now is the best time to watch what you eat! Transform yourself in 1 month!”. As well-meaning as the latter were, it did not help that a lot of them were promoting short term gains and fast results! I could do a whole post on this! But anyway, in the first few months, I was constantly in a bad mood because I was so fixated on my food intake! What am I going to eat? How can I make this healthier? Blah blah blah. And every morning, I would go and check myself out in the mirror!! Is that even healthy?

I realised that I had to confront the anxiety when my mood started to affect my family members. The people around me were very conscious that I was in a bad mood. But it was weird because I was normally someone who is cheerful and joyful. I realised that I did not want to affect my family like that because being stuck in quarantine was difficult already, what more with someone who was constantly in a bad mood! So I realised that I needed to change. Firstly, I started eating the food that my parents bought. I became more free with the choices that I ate. WOW, roast pork is REALLY good. I would still avoid the fatty parts, but allowing myself to take a few pieces was already a step of improvement for me. I also started to allow myself to be a bit more carefree with the snacks I ate by limiting my portions and spreading them out over the day than finishing everything in one shot. This really helped me to portion my food and to stop when I was satisfied. Next, I also started to watch more youtube videos by different fitness youtubers who focus a lot on science and nutrition. By watching more people, I had a better understanding of how science and nutrition comes hand in hand! A few of them would be like natacha oceane and jeremy ethier! I also started allowing myself to order foods that I wanted to eat when I started to crave things like noodles. As I said before, my food choices are naturally more on the healthier side, but I would now allow myself to eat more carbs like noodles! Even though from time to time, I still struggle with the way that I eat, I am thankful for the journey that I have gone through so far.

I may go into deeper details soon as I consolidate more thoughts but this is the gist of my journey around food. I am determined to overcome my fear and anxiety around food and I am determined to do so in a healthy way as well! This post became slightly messier than I expected but it felt good to be able to vocalise the thoughts on my mind. I hope that to those of you who stumble upon this page that you would have a safe quarantine period. To those of you who struggle with food, you are not alone. We are in this together :)

#food #quarantine #diet #diets #fitness #foods #writing #journal #thoughts #foodinspiration

1 note · View note

daylight136 · 4 years

Text

My story with Taylor

Like most people outside the US, the first Taylor Swift song that I listened to was Love Story. I was probably 9 or 10 years old I and reading was my favourite thing to do (it still is), so when I heard her singing about love and Romeo and Juliet, I was really impressed. I hadn’t read Romeo and Juliet then, I only knew it was a love story, but I thought it was pretty cool for someone to write a song about a story that had been written centuries ago. So I went online and looked for her other songs, and I really liked You Belong With Me, but I didn’t give it too much thought. Something similar happened when Speak Now came out, I really liked Mean and The Story Of Us, but that was it.

The first time I realised I really like her as a person, more than just her music, was when she started dating Harry. One of my closest friends back then really liked One Direction and she was really mad at Taylor for dating one of them, saying she was a serial dater and that she would split the group. Long story short, we got into a HUGE fight about it, and we never again talked about their relationship. I haven’t heard from her in like 7 years.

And then, sometime in late 2012, I Knew You Were Trouble was everywhere, and I became OBSESSED with the song. I couldn’t stop listening to it, it’s for sure one of my most streamed videos on Youtube. I started listening to the albums and not just the singles, watching interviews, trying to understand her lyrics. And one lyric that has stuck with me ever since is “no one that you cry but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one”. I have always had the pressure of being the “perfect daughter”, getting good grades and not making too much noise, and that sentence really made me feel seen, like someone else had gone through exactly what I was going through, and that it would be okay. By that time, I was in a new school, so I was really pressuring myself to fit in and make new friends while keeping my grades, so her music really helped me. RED quickly became my favourite album, and it has remained that way ever since. But I was just 13 and my parents weren’t much of a fan of her music, so they refused to take me abroad just so I could go to one of her concerts. I honestly don’t blame them.

I didn’t love 1989 when it first came out. I didn’t know about the Grammys drama so I didn’t fully understand her turning to full pop, but it was the golden age for us, and I was happy that she was happy. Or at least she looked happy. I decided then that that time I wouldn’t miss her on tour. The singles were huge in Spain so I figured that she would be coming to my country. When she didn’t announce a date, I joined Twitter just so I could make #SpainLovesTaylor or something like that trending topic, but that didn’t work out. I begged my parents they would take me to one of her concerts in London, but they refused. I was mad at them for a month. At that time, I was swimming in a national level, and that year I injured my shoulder really bad. I couldn’t swim for almost two months, and the only thing keeping me going during that time was her music. So, when I could go back and take part in competitions again, her music was always with me, reminding me of what I had overcame.

Like Taylor, 2016 wasn’t my year. I changed school again, felt left out by my friends… So reputation became the exact energy buzz that I needed in 2017. Even if it isn’t much my style of music, I think reputation was exactly the album that she needed to write in that time, and I was incredibly proud of her for “taking this shitbag of shit they gave you and making it into this”. And it gave us some of my all-time favourite songs from Taylor, like New Year’s Day, Call It What You Want and Dress. By that time, I was 18 so I decided that if I had to travel alone just to see Taylor I would do it. But, when the dates for the reputation Stadium Tour came out, I found out that I had college exams in the exact same dates. I have never felt unluckier in my life, because I had the money, I had made my mind, I was willing to go alone, but I couldn’t.

Flashforward almost two years later, I’m in a really happy place. I love what I’m studying, I’m surrounded by friends that I love, and I have found the love of my life. So Lover really clicked with me, and quickly became my third favourite album. For my birthday, my best friend gave me tickets for Lover Fest as a present, and I couldn’t be happier. But then COVID-19 came and the rest is history. That’s the reason why I have decided that, if Taylor doesn’t come to Spain in 2021, I will go wherever I need just to see her on tour. And I really intent to make it happen this time.

Taylor Swift has been with me in the hardest moments of my life, she has been my mentor when everyone thought I was doing fine and didn’t need any help. Her music, and her as a person, has really helped me dealing with my anxiety after more than two months of quarantine. So for me, going to one of her concerts doesn’t just mean that I get to see her perform the songs that I love, it’s a way of saying thank you for lifting me up when no one else saw that I was down.

@taylorswift @taylornation

1 note · View note

peters-starks · 5 years

Photo

NUMBER NEIGHBOUR

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: when texting your number neighbour you got more than you bargained for.

Word Count: 4,059

Masterlist

The recent trend on Twitter of people texting their “number neighbour” the person who has the same phone number as them but with one number difference had become really popular in the past few days, so much so even the majority of your friends had now done it. So, when you were having a chill night in with two of your friends and they tried to persuade you to text your number neighbours you really weren’t surprised.

“Guys I’m not going to do it what if it’s some weirdo and they probably won’t even reply so it’ll be pointless” you chucked and shook your head.

“Come onnnn this movie is so boring and we’ve both already spoken to our neighbours so it’s your turn!” Your best friend, Merise, wasn’t wrong, this movie was like a YouTube comedy remake of an actual horror movie and frankly the acting was beyond awful.

“What happened to typical fun games like truth or dare” you yelped as your other friend, Amara, threw a pillow at you

“Just do it” they groaned at you going to reach for another pillow making you put your arms over you in defence whilst laughing

“Okay okay! I guess I have no dignity left to lose!”

All your friends gathered around your phone as you typed in your phone number and changed the last number at the end and selected the message option. You typed out a simple “hi” and then clicked send.

“Hi? Hi! That’s so boring” Amara groaned and Merise pinched her side

“What else were they gonna say?”

You shook your head at your overly energetic friends and stared at your screen for a moment longer with nothing happening. “I told you there would be no resp-”your words were cut short by a notification noise coming through and Merise grabbed your phone laughing.

UNKNOWN: hi? Who is this?

You groaned and watched as Merise tapped away and the sound of a message being sent shortly followed.

Y: I’m your number neighbour! Have you seen the trend online?

Your eyes widened at this. “OMG what if they’re like 90 years old? Or like 8? If they’re like underage isn’t this illegal I mean” you typed as you rambled your friends watching you in amusement.

Y: unless you’re like not online which is super fine and if you’re like really young then ignore this aha :)

“Honestly I don’t understand how your level of awkwardness can project through a screen that hard like I’m getting awkward radiation poisoning from this” Amara gaped at you making Merise chuckle and mumble something in agreement along the lines of ‘it’s not that deep’.

~|~

Peter was perched on his favourite rooftop taking a break to view the New York skyline at night, this being one of the reasons he loved patrolling in the evenings as nowhere else could you see this view. His phone vibrating caught his attention and he assumed it was Aunt May asking when he would be home as she was probably fretting about him swinging across the city, still not completely loving his new role but all the same supporting him to an endless amount.

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw an unknown number on his phone screen and swiped to open the message seeing a simple “hi”. The number looked vaguely familiar but at this point Peter was far too tired to place it. He replied cautiously and waited for the mystery person to answer him.

When his phone vibrated again he was mildly surprised by the two messages. His number neighbour! Peter secretly loved that trend online much to MJ’s dismay as she found it ‘pointless’ and had sent her number neighbour links to government conspiracies when they had text her to which she had no reply. Peter thought she just didn’t like the trend because she was upset she didn’t make a new conspiracy friend.

P: ohhhh, of course I know, hey neighbour! And don’t worry I’m not really young

P: well that depends what you class as really young, 13 is pretty old right?

P: lol kidding

Peter face palmed himself at that, god he was such a dork.

Y: Idk 13 is quite young when you’re 65

Y: I’m not actually 65 tho don’t worry

Y: how old actually are you tho lol

Peter smiled slightly sensing your mild anxiety at texting a stranger and honestly it was most the reason he hadn’t done it yet because knowing his luck he’d message a child and have some very unhappy parents at his door.

P: I’m 18 wbu

Y: snap!

P: thank god! Are you from New York?

Y: yup lived here for a couple of years now, I take it you are too?

P: Queens

Your two friends squealed as you found out this stranger lived surprising close to your apartment.

“Ask them their name! We might know them considering they’re so close” Merise squealed slightly. Honestly you just thought she was like a puppy who was excited to meet new people.

Y: so neighbour what’s your name if you don’t mind me asking?

Peter hesitated at this for a second as even though his identity was hidden, only those the very closest to him knowing him as Spider-Man, giving his name to someone over text who literally could be anyone seemed risky. However, he doubted that any random government agent or evil bad guy would know of number neighbours or be able to joke around so easily.

P: Peter, what’s yours?

Y: Hi Peter from Queens, I’m y/n.

Amara braced herself for Merise’s literal yell at finding out the person you were texting was not only the same age and from nearby but also A BOY.

“I BET he’s cute, he seems nice over text and dorky so he’s gotta be cute ugh” Merise winked at you after her small speech and you simply rolled your eyes.

“I’m sure he is, if he’s who he says he is” you started staring at your screen waiting for his reply. Time passed and after 40 minutes you gave up on checking your phone screen every 10 minutes waiting for Peter to answer you. He probably got bored of texting a stranger which you wouldn’t blame him. The internet came up with weird trends.

Just as you let your friends out as it was way past the time they were supposed to leave as you had school the next day, your phone had another text notification.

P: hi y/n :)

You smiled faintly at this because Merise was kind of right, Peter sounds like a bit of a dork.

Y: do you go to school in New York?

Y: that’s if you’re in school aha

P: yea I go to Midtown actually

Your eyes widened slightly as that was Amara’s school whilst you and Merise went to one a couple miles away from Midtown.

Y: no way! My friend goes there. You must be pretty smart. I go to the next school over.

P: nice! Guess we really aren’t too far away then.

A few hours passed and you and Peter were still texting back and forth, knowing you both really should be asleep but the conversation flowed so well that time passed without any realisation. Which you both paid for when school started the next day.

Y: I.am.so.tired.

P: I literally slept through 3 alarms and coffee isn’t working. Help.

Y: at least you don’t have a bio test today I’m honestly screwed.

P: if you need bio help I’m actually kind of a nerd with that stuff. Text me the questions secretly ;)

Y: oh yea totally not noticeable.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Peters texts catching Merise’s attention. “Still texting Queens boy, are we?” She nudged your shoulder and winked at you.

“Maybe I am” you tried to answer with a straight face but honestly it was difficult.

Throughout the day, you and Peter exchanged small texts here and there, both your friends seemed to notice you being glued to your phones more than usual.

When school ended, you went home and tried to get your school work done but honestly nothing was going in so you opted for aimless scrolling for a while. The top of your newsfeed was an alert of Spider-Man ending yet another Robbery only a few blocks away from your apartment which usually you took no notice of but it was the bank your parents used so it caught your attention more than usual.

Y: yknow I think I’m going to need that study help, literally everything is distracting me. Including bank robberies! Not even Spider-Man can save my grades this semester.

P: you never know, Spider-Man is probably pretty good at bio.

Peter laughed at himself, inside jokes about his identity really were the only enjoyable part about hiding himself from the people around him. He was sat back on the rooftop from last night trying to rest up his side as he took a pretty hard blow from one of the robbers and certainly has a bruise. He remembered Ned saying a solution to help bruising the other day and decided to ask him and without looking dialled.

“Hello?”

Ok. So that isn’t Ned.

“Peter is that you...”

When you saw peter was ringing you it confused you but you did ask him for study tips so maybe he was saving your ass via phone call.

Peter froze when he heard your voice, checking his phone and seeing “y/n” on the screen. God, he must’ve selected your contact instead of Neds since he was thinking about you.

“Oh um hi sorry I meant to phone my friend about some bruise stopping thing but I must’ve called you by mistake”

“Bruise stopper?” You cocked your head in confusion. “Do I even want to know” you chucked slightly. Hearing Peters actual voice was kind of weird but as much as you hated to admit it even his voice sounded cute to you.

“Ah um I kind of ran into a wall aha yea like super hard” Peter literally wanted to dive bomb off the roof top, god his awkward rambles always revealed too much. And a wall?? Who’s going to believe that.

“Right a wall... clumsy I take it”

“Yeah you could say that” peter laughed lightly.

“Well don’t ask how I know this but cold compress it on and off and apply Arnica gel a few times a day and Aloe if you want to be extra careful”

Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise a thought going through his head that you weren’t some secret vigilantly too or worse maybe some villain. “I won’t ask don’t worry but um thank you”

You smiled gently “you’re welcome Peter from Queens”

“Well i guess if you’re curing my bruising you can call me Peter Parker instead of Peter from Queens”

“Well Peter Parker, y/n y/l/n”

Peter smiled more until his cheeks hurt under his mask as you carried on speaking to each other, hearing your voice somehow made you more real to Peter and speaking to you was relaxing. You didn’t know him as Peter Parker quiet nerd from Midtown or as the rookie avenger that kind of went to space and saved the world but also helps old ladies cross the road. You knew him as Peter, number neighbour and hopefully at this point friend. Getting to know someone new was really a breath of fresh air.

It was getting late again and honestly you don’t think you can go another day of school with next to no sleep no matter how much you loved speaking to Peter. And so you and peter began to say your goodnights.

“It was really nice speaking to you today Peter, like actually speaking to you”

“Yea it was really nice speaking to you too... maybe we can do it again sometime?”

“You can call me whenever, especially if you are gonna help me with studying orrr if you need anymore bruises to heal” you smiled as you spoke, the tiredness etching into your body slowly. “Well, goodnight Peter Parker”

“Goodnight y/n”

Over the next two weeks you and Peter spoke every single day, most the time through texts and mainly through meme’s as well as evening phone calls. Sometimes Peter would have to leave the call abruptly with weird excuses which made you suspicious, Merise said it’s probably a girlfriend he doesn’t want you to know about but Amara shut that down saying that she doubts it. Amara also went to midtown with Peter but had no classes with him and barely knew his face, she said her friend said he was probably the guy with the Stark internship. When you asked Peter about the internship he got nervous and stuttered a lot which confused you but you convinced yourself it was because there was lots of Top Secret Avengers stuff he had to be careful with.

“I’m so jealous you get to work with the avengers y’know? I’ve always loved those guys, like how cool would it be to have some kind of power and be able to save people?” You gushed to Peter one evening which honestly made him blush a bit. You were a bit of a superhero nerd too.

“Yea it must be pretty cool” Peter tried to keep the tone in his voice even but Karen quickly informed him that his voice indicated excitement and anxiety.

“Have you met many avengers? Have you met Thor? He’s a literal god I mean even meeting Tony Stark alone must have been amazing I’ve always found him so interesting like he’s was so clever and he saved us all like literally! Oh god and SPIDER-MAN he’s just so cool because he’s like our thing you know? Like a New York special hero” you were also blushing as you spoke realising you were fully geeking out to a guy you’d never even met and he probably thought you were a total avengers fan girl.

“Yea Spider-Man is pretty cool, Thor is awesome though! The dude is massive! And Mr Stark was just a great guy y’know? I kinda owe him everything” Peters heart dropped a bit at mentioning Tony but talking about him kept his memory alive in Peter’s eyes, and that’s the least he could do for him.

“Right yea, sorry I didn’t even think, I’m so sorry for your loss, he was such a great man” you cringed at yourself for not thinking. Of course Peter would’ve been affected by losing Tony.

“No no it’s okay, I mean you and me wouldn’t be here without what he did so we all owe him one, it’s good to acknowledge it, bet it feeds his ego a bit really” Peter laughed a bit trying to lighten the mood and make you feel less bad. You had both previously spoken about the Snap as both of you had disappeared for those 5 years and late night discussions had run into the early mornings as you had heart to hearts about its tolls on you both. You both found it so easy to talk to each other it was like you’d known each other for years even though you’ve never even seen each other face to face before, both being too awkward to even suggest meeting.

-|-

You knew it was a bad idea to walk home alone so late, but the extra studying was highly needed as Peter couldn’t make your evening phone call to help you study your math quiz tomorrow and if you failed it one more time you were in serious trouble. The lampposts illuminated just enough of the street for you to feel safe-ish but speed walking was definitely needed.

You were only a block away from your apartment when you got that feeling. It was deep in your gut and it made you shiver. Something was wrong and you couldn’t put a finger on what it was. You turned your head slightly to look around you and at a first glance you saw nothing however a shadow moving in one of the alley ways made your hair on your arms stand up. This was a big nope.

You grabbed your phone and kept it close to you ready to call for help as footsteps started coming behind you. However as a rough hand grabbed your shoulder pulling your whole body backwards with a tell your phone was knocked out your hand, tumbling towards the ground like your hope of getting through this.

Your eyes closed in terror as a small object was pushed against your back. Who knew studying would literally be the death of you.

“What’s in the bag” the voice was rough and desperate causing you to hold your breath. “Give me the bag”

You turned slowly, hands up and faced the man, his face was covered by some makeshift white mask and a black beanie covered his hair, the small black handgun being pointed at you was shaking slightly in his gloved hands.

You slowly moved your backpack off your shoulders and moved it in front of you, dropping it to the ground and using you foot to push it towards the masked man. Just as the man moved to pick it up a blue and red blur zoomed past you eyes, knocking the man to the wall and his gun became stuck to it by some webbed material. Webbed material. SPIDER-MAN.

“Hey I don’t think that belongs to you” the voice spoke sounding weirdly altered.

The robber attempted to swing at the spandex covered hero but missed as Spider-Man ducked and then proceeded to pull him back with webbing as he tried to flee.

“You know I think an apology would be in order for this” the robber simply muttered a “fuck you” under his breath to which Spider-Man tutted and webbed the guy to the wall before whispering inform the authorities and turning to you.

“Um hey sorry about this, are you okay miss..” the hero was shorter than you thought standing taller than you but not by a huge amount and his posture seemed almost awkward as he scratched the back of his head waiting for your reply.

“Oh um y/n” you whispered, trying your best to process your brush with death and also not crying in front of your favourite hero.

At the mention of your name the eyes of Spider-Man widened and he seemed to freeze. Peter was shocked. Y/n? As in his y/n? Your voice sounded the same but surely not and he almost hoped not considered what just happened, what if he didn’t get here on time? Oh god I mean he thought you were pretty but this pretty? And everything that just happened you must be so terrified and right before your math quiz...

You saw the hero frozen in place and became instantly confused. “Um... are you okay?” At this he seemed to snap out of it and laughed slightly.

“I think that’s my line you know” Peter once again realised he fucked up as his voice changer was no longer on, Karen must disabled it when Peter froze and he bet she did it on purpose knowing full well who you are.

When Spider-Man spoke your eyebrows furrowed because that voice sounded oh so familiar but you could only place it to one person.

“Right yea um I’m okay I should probably get home I have school tomorrow” you nervously nodded hoping he would say something else so you could confirm it.

“Of course yea um, is it okay if I walk you home? Just to make sure you’re safe?” Peter knew there was no turning back, you’d either figure it out or you wouldn’t and there was no way he was going to let you carry on walking home alone after this.

“Um... that’d be nice actually, thank you”

On the walk home not much was said, Peter tried not to say something accidentally and completely reveal himself whilst you were wrapped up in thinking about what just happened to you and the fact not only was Spider-Man walking you home but you’re pretty sure he is your mystery friend Peter Parker.

When you arrived at your apartment you thanked the Webster and watched him swing off into the New York skyline and then took your phone out and dialled the only number you could think of.

“Hello? Everything okay?” Peter sounded out of breath which was very convenient and he also sounded worried which if you weren’t already so suspicious you wouldn’t take note of.

“You’re not going to believe the evening I’ve had” you went on to explain your half robbery slash attack and Spider-Man’s dramatic entrance and you have to admit Peter is a good actor, although his concern for your emotional well-being seemed to consume his efforts in hiding his fake shock at Spider-Man turning up.

“Yea it was so weird like I’m totally okay but I can’t figure out what’s the strangest thing, being saved from a robbery by Spider-Man or finding out Spider-Man is my number neighbour you know” you bit your lip with anticipation as you spoke.

“Well yea u mean it sounds like a strange nigh- wait what” God Peter was so stupid of course you knew! He would recognise your voice anywhere so why wouldn’t you recognise his? “I’m-I’m not Spider-Man I m-mean that’s ridiculous” and he stuttered. Good job Peter.

“Yea I mean Stark internship? Knowing the avengers and Spider-Man and you sharing a voice is a lot of coincidence huh? It was nice to finally meet you Peter” you didn’t sound offended or angry from what Peter could tell you actually sounded humoured which made him breathe a sigh of relief.

“Go to your roof top” and with that the line went dead.

Five minutes later you were stood on the rooftop of your apartment complex, glad the door was old and easily pushed open. The hoodie you threw on barely kept you warm from the winds that bashed around you but that was all forgotten as Spider-Man , Peter , landed on the roof next to you.

“Hey” you smiled and nervously tucked some hair behind your ear as he got closer.

“Um hi” Peter said, approaching you slowly whilst being kind of unsure.

“I know your identity is a big thing and I promise I won’t tell anyone about this but I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know and I mean it’s pretty cool but also awkward because I can’t BELIEVE you let me geek out about the avengers and YOURSELF to you for ages and didn’t say ANYTHING I mean wha-“ you were cut short by Peters body colliding with yours in a kind of awkward but sweet hug. He smelt really good.

When he pulled away you cleared your throat and muttered a sorry. Peter only laughed and lifted his hands up to take his mask off. Underneath he was a lot cuter than you expected, honestly you had to hold in a gasp. His brown hair was floppy and curly, slightly messy from the mask, and his jawline was sharp framing his face and his brown eyes honestly were breath-taking as cliché as it sounds.

“It’s nice to finally meet you too” Peter said playing with his fingers nervously “you um you’re prettier than I thought wait not that I thought you wouldn’t be pretty but I mean you’re just wow like super pre-“ this time peter was interrupted as your arms wrapped around his neck and you kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you. For um saving my life earlier and all, who knew Spider-Man could not only save my life but also save my grades by helping me study” you both chucked at that.

For the rest of the evening you sat on the roof top and enjoyed finally being around each other. The conversation was a lot easier in person, mostly because of the flirty body language and the fact Peters eyes told such a story. By the end you were nearly asleep on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your torso to help keep you warm and you both silently enjoyed watching the New York skyline at night. Peter had found a new favourite roof top.

++++++++++++++

OKAY SO my first one shot on this account because the most stupid things inspire me, including twitter trends. i hope you like it as i wasn’t too sure with this one and feel like its a bit rough here and there but overall i enjoyed the concept too much to put it aside.

Add yourself to my taglist

TAGLIST: @aesthetic-png @liac2299 @animegirlgeeky @sexysamsungl @mikariell95 @evoutionofkatep @orowit

#spiderman imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman oneshot #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfic #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #avengers imagine #avengers fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #writing

26 notes · View notes

10906900-blog · 4 years

Text

Opinion series

Most Americans may not be so financially literate.

America is a land of opportunity, and people are not grasping that opportunity like they could. Citizens everywhere, no matter the age, gender, or race, are having financial problems and they either don’t know how to avoid these problems or don’t know how to get out of them. The biggest indicator of these financial problems is the amount of debt people are in. I have listed a few sources that show how much debt we are in; such as student loans, car loans, and credit cards. I did not list home loans or anything like that because that is expected to have a home payment now a days. Who is suppose to help? Who would be great to help teach citizens this? The leaders of this country need to be held responsible and help fix this problem.

This country is in debt, as many people are aware. In 2019 so far, we are 1.18 trillion dollars in car loan debt (https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/research/auto-loan-debt-study/). This year we have a record high of 1.41 trillion dollars in student loan debt (https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/state-of-student-loan-debt/). And credit card debt is at 807 billion dollars (https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/state-of-credit-cards/). How did this happen?! Who aloud this amount of debt to happen? Who gave citizens all this money they can’t pay back? Now we can blame the credit bureaus or the lenders, but leaders in the government are responsible. This isn’t about pointing fingers though and I don’t want to spend too much time explaining how bad it is. All I want to do is fix this issue in the country, side by side with you, leaders of this nation.

Car loans, student loans, and credit cards kinds of debt can be avoided, but yet so many people are suffering financially because of these; and as a result our nation is suffering. Expensive car loans are unnecessary and really eat citizen’s monthly income. Promote buying used vehicles. Student loans were intended to be a good thing, but now the education system is just broken. Promote people to not got for degrees that won’t matter and have a good enough income to payoff the loans. Credit cards are not good, the only thing they really help with is boost your credit score and maybe help with rental cars when traveling. The government should provide ways where people can avoid these mistakes and help get out of them. Why are finances not really taught until college? Teach this life skill sooner!

The leaders of this government can make a difference and help citizens become educated in this field of finance. In 2019, a test was done called the “Analysis of Financial Literacy in a College Population” and their results show that business students and students that took a financial literacy course scored higher than those that don’t. Make financial literacy a part of schools before college, or even get programs started outside of schools. These sources I have for this opinion are simply financial advisors and researchers. These people can only help so much, but not enough to really change the system of teaching people how to get out of this mess.

“Analysis of Financial Literacy in a College Population.” Journal of Higher Education Theory and Practice, vol. 19, no. 4, Feb. 2019, doi:10.33423/jhetp.v19i4.2197.

“Auto Loan Debt Sets Record Highs.” Experian, 18 July 2019, https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/research/auto-loan-debt-study/.

Ramsey, Dave. “Dave Ramsey's 7 Baby Steps.” Daveramsey.com, Ramsey Resolutions, 2019, https://www.daveramsey.com/dave-ramsey-7-baby-steps#baby_step_2.

Financial literacy is important to teach at a younger age.

Financial literacy is not only important but needs to be taught at a younger age. Young people need to learn about financial literacy. The problems that come up when this isn’t taught at a younger age are that young people may not know how to budget, having the attitude of “oh I’ll pay for it later”, and falling into traps such as scams.

Lots of articles point to why financial literacy is important for kids to learn at a young age. For example “Rich dad poor dad” is a book written by a multi-millionaire and it shares how he became financially successful. It promotes financial literacy, self-development, and learning how to have money work for you. Robert Kiyosaki, the author of “Rich dad poor dad”, started learning about money and how works when he was around 10 years old. Now not every child will have the same curiosity or desire as Robert did at such a young age, but it’s time to encourage individuals and families to not make money a taboo topic in the home.

Most of what people are taught about finances are from the home. This is part of the reason why people may start bad habits about finances because their parents taught it to them or their parents didn’t teach their kids anything about finances. We need to teach kids at a younger age in a public setting such as schools or even clubs. The young people starting college or starting their first job, may not realize how much expenses add up. Joseph Bednar quotes the vice president of retail administration at Monson Savings Bank and says those daily expenses really add up. Such as a $7-8 lunch five times a week can add up to around $2,000 a year, in contrast to just packing a lunch.

“I’ll pay for it later” is the worst attitude to have when you’re young. Being in debt by the time you’re 16-18 is not the best way to start out the rest of life. Sure student loans may start once college hits, but getting in credit card debt and starting a car loan when in your teenage years are not good. Whether it’s a credit card from a bank or in-store credit, they all mostly have high interest rates. And when people use hundreds of dollars worth of credit and only pay the minimum payment; that payment pattern will have them pay way more the product was originally worth.

Young people are not prepared for scams on the internet and on phone calls. I work at a call center for a bank and I get several calls about this. One experience I had was a scam on a website advertisement. I can’t remember exactly what they were offering her, but they convinced her to give them her card details and login info to her bank profile. As I was helping her, I was thought to myself, “man what was she thinking”. Young people just graduating high school need to prepare for this.

Some people may say that money is not important and doesn’t matter when you’re young. And to a point that’s true, I wouldn’t say money is the source of happiness and joy. But the knowledge of this will help avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety that will come when young people become adults.

Lance, et al. “Is Money Actually Important and Does Money Matter?” The Mastermind Within, 14 Mar. 2019, https://www.themastermindwithin.com/does-money-really-matter/.

Kiyosaki, Robert, and Sharon L. Lechter. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. TechPress, 1997.

Bednar, Joseph, and BusinessWest Staff. “Financial Literacy Should - but Often Doesn't - Start Young.” BusinessWest, 21 May 2019, https://businesswest.com/blog/financial-literacy-should-but-often-doesnt-start-young/.

We must be emotionally stable and improve ourselves to gain financial literacy.

There are habits that people do to stay rich or become rich. This opinion is towards those that are in the Mafia. Any Mafia member can benefit from this and people can have the desire to self-improve themselves. Those that are not emotionally stable or have no desire to improve themselves, have a trend of not doing great financially.

Self-improvement can be done in many ways, whether it’s physical, mental, or spiritual. But a lot of sources (such as Napolean Hill) point to how people can develop their mental capacity and control their emotions. Emotions can drive a person to work and can spark a great sense of desire. But emotions can also betray us and control our actions. Mafia members are generally not emotionally stable.

Do having the emotions of anger, fear, and hatred on a daily basis seem normal? These are not good emotions to have, especially when handling money. The Mafia and other gangs are hurting the lives of others for their own gain. Sometimes even threatening their members to do certain jobs. Now sometimes being the Mafia doesn’t sound so bad, all the money and power can seem pretty great in the moment. But just think of all the crimes, lies, and threats that were made because of the desire for more power and money. I wouldn’t want to keep track of all the lies and try so hard to avoid imprisonment. The Mafia need to know that being emotionally stable is vital for being financially successful. The consequences of using money unwisely can be severe.

An example of using money unwisely is gambling. Studies and research has been done by Mrs. Payzan-LeNestour (expert in NeuroFinance) showing that the brain releases a chemical reaction when the person is about make a gamble or financial risk. She studies why people make such decisions, and shows in her TED talk that the chemical reaction is similar to the “excitement” people get when satisfying an addiction. Now I’m not positive if every member of the Mafia gambles, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard some members do it in their free time.

Creating good habits can help mafia members be emotionally stable and financially successful. Creating new habits do take time, diligence, and faith in the habit you’re making. Some leaders in the Mafia may already do some of these habits because of the success they may have with their financial gain. Practical Psychology is a youtube channel that studied some habits millionaires have. Habits such as: having a budget, reading a lot, pursue curiosity, making goals, having multiple streams of income, and other habits. Again some mafia members may already do this, and the Mafia’s source of income may not be a suggested way of making money, but that’s when Napolean Hill makes a good point. Napolean Hill was a man who studied many successful people of his time and wrote a book in 1937 called “Think and Grow Rich”. The result in his 20 years of research was amazing to see. Things such as faith, desire, honesty, and good decision making were a part of Hill’s self-help book. Even mastering fear and persistence were attributes were highly suggested to become financially successful. Now does a mafia member sound like they really try to master their fears, or do they run from their fears? A mafia member, without the power and money they may have, is no good to the rest of society if are going to continue lying and stealing.

Hill, Napolean. Think and Grow Rich. 1937.

“Practical Psychology.” YouTube, YouTube, 12 Feb. 2016, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCir93b_ftqInEaDpsWYbo_g/featured.

Payzan-LeNestour, Elise. “Why We Take Financial Risks.” TED, 2016, https://www.ted.com/talks/elise_payzan_lenestour_why_we_take_financial_risks.

2 notes · View notes

secret--ink · 6 years

Text

She wanted to blame her older sister for her music taste, or more specifically, her obsessive nature with a certain British boy band. Unable to escape the bubblegum pop vibes of NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys from her childhood, her knowledge of their songs went unmatched by any subject she studied in school since she was forced to listen to them in their shared bedroom until she was five. She had no power against turning them off, she had no power in changing any of the music really. And while she thought that she would have a break once her sister went to college, while she thought may she could finally listen to her own music and develop her own likes and dislikes, the influence was already too deep.

She wanted to blame her older sister for the way music took over her life, for the way she suddenly found herself thrust into the fangirl lifestyle, complete with her bedroom walls covered in various magazine cutouts of her favorite band. At first, it was the Jonas Brothers. She nearly dragged her sister along to two of their concerts, making t-shirts with her favorite member’s name - Nick - on the back. Spending the entire concert jumping up and down, her dad was simultaneously worried about her well-being and impressed with her energy levels. That same behavior seamlessly transferring to One Direction as soon as they stepped foot on American shores, she shelled out $700 to attend their first concert in DC - a price that was a bit daunting at first. But as she and her sister attended their concerts over the band’s five years together, travelling to different states, the price no longer seemed like a challenge.

She wanted to blame her older sister for a lot of things. She wanted to blame her for the fact that their parents had very little picture of her as a baby because she was the third child while her sister had three full photo albums dedicated to her just from her grandparents alone. She wanted to blame her for the lack of makeup tips, her sister preferring a more natural and simple look, leaving her to research for hours on Youtube to learn the newest trends and how to highlight correctly. She most definitely wanted to blame her for inheriting the oldest car the family had once she was old enough to drive while her sister, of course, got a brand new car.

But now, as she found herself sitting in the empty studio, she couldn’t even begin to think of something to blame her for. In fact, in a turn of events, she owed her sister.

She owed her sister a lot.

She watched as he emerged from the back of the stage, his body draped in a silhouette of black as he made his way through the growing cloud of manufactured fog billowing from the two machines that flanked the small space. Orders from the director coming through the loudspeaker sent the multiple stage hands briskly walking in different directions, rigging lights and taping down cables to protect the talent. She couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips as she watched him play with the mic stand, endlessly raising it until it reached his preferred height.

She knew how tall he was, or at least appeared, before they met. But, it still surprised her and no matter how much time they spent together, it continued to do so. He towered over everyone he met, excluding most basketball players, and no amount of heels that she wore could ever amount to his tall stature. But, she wasn’t complaining. In fact, it was one of the most attractive things about him (among an ever growing list). She liked the way he had to nearly bend in half to reach her lips anytime he wanted to kiss her, her neck craning back until it felt like it was going to snap. She liked the way she fit against his body when he was close, his arms wrapping around her shoulders in the most protective hold she had known, his chin resting against the top of her head as he stood behind her. And she especially liked the way her ears fell in perfect line with his heartbeat as she snuggled against his chest during their lazy morning in bed, becoming familiar with both his resting heart rate and his more erratic, nervous heart rate.

She watched as his eyes searched for her, unable to see much past the now blinding spotlights that fell on him as the music started to fade in. She knew he wanted her front row for rehearsals, like he always did. He wanted her front row for all of his performances. His beacon when his anxiety got too overwhelming or when he felt the performance slipping away from him, he liked knowing exactly where she was. Just in case, he always told her. While it was a small sentiment that sent her heart aflutter in the best way, she knew the second he stepped on stage, in whatever venue, he was right at home.

And that’s exactly what happened. He breezed through rehearsal like the pro he was, equipped with his charming smile as if the room was full of screaming fans rather than a number of older beer-gut bellied men, half of whom were from England, just like the show’s host.

“That was great!” James chimed from his desk, his regular-clothed appearance still somewhat jarring as they had alway seen each other in formal attire. “Brilliant.”

Shawn laughed, “Thanks, man.”

“Shawn?” The director came over the loudspeaker. “How did that feel? Anything you want to change or run over again?”

He shook his head, unfolding himself from underneath his guitar strap, handing the instrument over to the waiting stage hand. “I don’t think so. That felt pretty good.”

“Great. As soon as we’re done running over a segment with James, we’ll go over the monologue with you. So just hang out for a few minutes.”

She could feel his eyes on her the second the director’s voice cut off, but she made sure to keep her nose in her phone, mindlessly scrolling through her own Instagram feed so that she looked completely enthralled, pretending she didn’t watch his rehearsal. It was a senseless game that they played with each other, looking as if they weren’t interested in what was going on, but it never failed to create some of her favorite moments. He knew exactly which buttons to push, or tickle in most cases, to get her in a fit of breathless tears until she was almost blue while he pried her fingers off of her phone and she knew exactly which spots to press her lips against, and circle back to when needed, in order to get him to tear his eyes away from his multiple devices.

She cracked a small smile when she noticed his hands suddenly on either side of her chair, his fingers grasping lazily around the wooden armrests, boxing her in completely. His head dropping down until it blocked her vision, “Excuse me, I was looking at that.”

“Your own pictures?”

“I like to scroll through them sometimes.”

“Mhm.” He hummed.

“Don’t judge me, Mendes. I’ve caught you in the act before.”

“Maybe while I’m bored at home. But never when I’m supposed to be watching my boyfriend’s performance…”

She finally met his gaze, her eyebrows ruffling. “What performance?”

Shawn narrowed his gaze, shaking his head, “You’re lucky your sister is a good friend.”

“Oh is that the only reason why we’re together?”

He couldn’t deny that her older sister played a big part in their introduction. Having originally met at an event for E!, she had nearly spilled her entire plate of sliders on his lap, her heels tangling with the strings of the rug that was underneath the tables. He had caught her elbows before she face-planted into the next table, but the inertia of their bodies sent them flying to the ground anyways. Her three small hamburgers flanked his hair as though creating a halo of beef, sending her into a fit of snorting laughter before she could pick herself up off the floor.

It was his favorite first impression of one of his friends and a story he never got tired of telling. To anyone who would listen, regardless of if she was there or not, it always came up in conversation. And that was exactly how he met the younger of the two sisters, the girl who had now claimed half of his apartment.

He didn’t realize they were sisters while he was talking to her, though now that he knew both of them, he nearly kicked himself for not noticing the resemblance. They hated when they were called twins, but it was true - the similarities in their appearances were uncanny and had her sister not dyed her hair a dark brown, almost black color, most wouldn’t be able to distinguish who was who. But, as he jokingly made fun of her sister - in the most loving way - he should have read into the way she looked as unimpressed as a human could. Her face frozen in a deadpanned look, her lips barely budged into any form of smile. She didn’t smile. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t even twitch.

It wasn’t until her older sister drunkenly stumbled into her from the back, knocking her into his chest and slurring her way through their introduction that he put the pieces together. A rush of color turning his cheeks a deep tomato-like red as his words caught in his throat, his lips sputtering out an apology. He had tried to turn around and escape the humiliation, but she grabbed at his forearm and when he saw her smile, he knew it was all a ploy. A very well-crafted sisterly ploy.

“She had a pretty big hand in arranging things…”

“If by arranging you mean “falling into me”...” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I owe her a really good birthday present this year.”

He laughed, throwing himself into the seat next to her. His bones settling into the cushion immediately, he could feel the exhaustion finally start to hit. He was pretty good with dealing with jetlag and having been in New York City two days prior, he thought the busy schedule with his residency would keep his mind distracted enough to trick it into being adjusted to the new time zone. But, he was wrong.

“So what’d you think?” His head rolling to the side, he had to string along the conversation to keep himself from falling asleep right then and there.

Her eyes finally glanced in his direction, trailing along the line of his now slouched body. “I think you should definitely change the pants,” she began to point out, “but I’m kind of digging the shirt. And your hair - “ His eyes fluttered at the feel of her fingers running through his long dark quiff, tousling the strands loosely until they fell against his forehead in his signature look. “Your hair needs to to be just a bit more Danny Zuko, but it’s nothing we can’t fix.”

“...I was talking about the song.”

“Oh, right.”

Most times her ignorance - whether intentional or not - was frustrating. Going beyond limits he didn’t even know existed, she pushed every button in ways that got the best of his Canadian politeness. And though he often retreated to a different room holding his tongue, they never went to be angry - a sentiment that both of their parents advised. But as he watched her tongue poke out from underneath her front teeth, her nose scrunching up as a small smile grew against her lips, he knew she had watched his performance with a fine-tooth comb. She probably had a list of notes, always good things, hidden on one of her screens.

She leaned across the armrest, the close proximity of her face a sudden, yet welcomed surprise. Close enough to feel the warmth of her breath, their eyes finally met for the first time during their time at the studio and he noticed the way the soft glow of the studio lights reflected in the right spots of her irises, creating a sparkle against their dark brown color. She had always hated her eye color, but he found himself getting lost in the darkest parts of the chocolate shade at all times. When they first fluttered open in the morning, squinting as they adjusted to the brightness of the natural light, he could always pick out the very faint flecks of gold that she inherited from her father before they faded by noon. A bright coffee color whenever she was excited, they glistened with a golden hue that made his cheeks hurt, a smile permanently growing on his face as he watched her either jump up and down for hours or run through the streets of whatever town they were in, screaming at the top of her lungs. Or swallowed up in a wave of tears, the shade shifted to the deepest of colors, an almost black color. And while it was the most heartbreaking of looks he had ever seen, it was also his favorite because of her vulnerability. It was in those moments that he had fallen in love with her.

“What?”

She shook her head, pressing her lips against his in a sweet, but brief kiss. “You know it’s my favorite song.”

“It’s James’ favorite too.” He hummed.

“It’s a lot of people’s favorite. I don’t know why you’re asking for my opinion, you know you killed it. And you know you’re going to kill it tonight.”

Shawn smiled, his gaze drifting to his lap. Remembering her earlier comment, his fingers pinched the fabric of his shirt right near the buttons. “You really like this shirt, huh?”

“Mhm.” She nodded enthusiastically. “You should wear it more often.”

He raised his eyebrows, clearly interested in the path the conversation was taking. “Is that so?”

She pulled at her bottom lip, her eyes drifting to the somewhat see-through material of the white henley - his now go to style of shirt - that laid perfectly against his abdomen. Maybe it was the way it teased at the muscles she knew were underneath, her fingers ready to trace the lines against his skin. Maybe it was the way he had rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, exposing just enough of the guitar tattooed on his right arm, her infatuation with tattoos leaving her itching to add to her own collection. Or maybe it was the actual color of the shirt and its contrast against his slightly tanned skin and dark hair -

Whatever it was, it was working.

“How much - uh - how much time until they need you again - ?”

He drew a deep breath as her fingers wandered along neckline, dipping towards the top unbuttoned button. Almost feeling the touch of her skin against his and that’s when James’ voice broke through the haze. “Shawnologue time!”

She drew back quickly, “I guess that answers that question.”

“We’ll uh - “ He cleared his throat, slowly rising from the chair. “We’ll have to continue this discussion later.”

“Don’t forget, we have dinner with my sister after the show tonight for her early birthday celebration.”

“After dinner then.” He answered back, joining James at the mark in front of camera 1. Unable to keep his thoughts straight, he was thankful to have a few minutes to reread the cue cards before they began.

“And then we’re going out after dinner for drinks with a few of her friends.”

“After drinks.”

“And I think she wants to go to the Griffith Observatory at some point.” She continued.

“Are you - “

“And you have a meeting with the label super early tomorrow morning, so - “

“Ugh!” He groaned, his hands flying up towards his face. Smothering her mixed emotions into his palms, “You’re killing me, woman!”

“Love you too!”

And though he didn’t say it back in front of the twenty crewmembers, he knew she knew he loved her too. Immensely. Irrevocably. So intensely that it sometimes made his heart hurt. In all the cheesy romantic comedy cliches that he could imagine, he loved her all the same.

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes preference #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes preferences #writing #mine #mendes #late late shawn

139 notes · View notes

shannaintherye · 6 years

Text

Little Lily Pad

Summary: Dan gets his wisdom teeth removed and Phil is there to help his loopy best friend.

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: drugs (prescription), maybe swearing

A/N: I’ve been going through my ao3 and I decided to post this little one shot here. Please keep in mind that this is 2 years old and my writing has since improved. I still thought this was a cute idea, hence why I’m uploading. :) enjoy.

"Thank you for coming with me, Phil," Dan said, seated next to his best friend in the backseat of his mum's car. "I'm sorry you had to miss school, though,"

"Are you kidding? I get Friday off and I get to video you afterwards," he laughed, waving his phone teasingly. Dan snatched it, unlocking it, and taking about seven derpy pictures before Phil got it back.

"Set that as your lock screen," he laughed, pointing toward the one where he had five chins. "And you can only video me if I start crying about grass, not if I say something embarrassing."

"I'll definitely video you if you say something embarrassing," Phil laughed. He ended up making Dan's awful selfie his lock screen because that was their thing. They took ugly pictures on each other's phones and set them as lock screens. It was especially funny when someone asked the time and ended up seeing Phil's left nostril behind 10:36.

Dan was nervous, more so than he previously anticipated. He was chewing on the collar of his shirt, getting saliva all over it, a habit that he'd broken at a young age but picked up when his nerves were shattered.

He had to get his wisdom teeth removed, the two bottom ones on either side of his jaw because the teeth on top weren't causing a problem - the dentist said they probably wouldn't ever even grow in. His bottom wisdom teeth were a different story. Both of them were flipped on their sides and trying to come up. Wisdom teeth weren't very smart if you asked Dan, seeing as how they were growing in the wrong direction.

"Daniel James, stop chewing on your shirt. You're going to tear a hole in and I'll have to pay for a new one," his mother scolded, looking back at him through the rearview mirror. It wasn't even like this shirt was new or in good condition anyway. It was from summer camp three years ago when he and Phil went. Plus, it was the ugliest shade of yellow to ever exist, but it was soft with age and comforting to him.

"I'm just nervous, mum," he mumbled, pulling the shirt from his mouth. He cringed when the sticky-wet fabric rested against his neck, and Phil chuckled at him.

"It'll be fine. The dentists know what they're doing, sweetie," his mum said, and there was really no telling how many times she had told Dan that. He was so worried that something would go wrong and he'd die or have to get his mouth cut off. He wasn't sure how that would work, but he was detirmined it would happen to him.

His mum had to pick up Phil from school this morning just to get Dan to go to the dentist. If wasn't his fault that he was scared of surgery, and it definitely wasn't his fault that his best friend had a way with comforting him.

"It really will be fine," Phil said, placing his hand on the boy's knee. "And I'll be sitting right in the waiting room when you get out. Okay, little lily pad?"

"Okay," Dan whispered, nodding his head and then resting it on Phil's shoulder. He always calmed down when Phil used that nickname because it would remind him of the first day of Year 5 when he came in with his special notebook. He had finally been allowed to pick out his own school supplies, so of course, Dan had chosen the pretty notebook with a pond sporadically covered in green lily pads with pink blossoms on top.

Nine-year-old Phil had complimented him on it, and had said, "I'm going to call you lily pad," and he had. The whole first week of Year 5, Dan had been known as Lily Pad in the eyes of Phil Lester. Now, the name was only pulled out when Dan was stressed or frustrated or distraught, and it never failed to sooth him.

He saw his mother smile in the mirror, but he ignored her, focusing instead on his best friend's soft scent and comforting touch.

Ten minutes later, and the car had been pulled into a parking space, Dan had been signed in at the receptionist's desk, and now the three of them sat in the waiting room, calming down the brunet as he worked himself up.

They kept saying it was okay, but he was literally getting teeth cut out of his mouth. Did they not understand that? He had heard so many stories of the pain, agony, and the aftermath of being put to sleep. The medicine made you completely crazy, and while it made for a funny video on YouTube, Dan really didn't want to be drugged out of his mind.

"Daniel Howell?" A nurse called, peeking her head into the waiting area. Dan stood up, and looked at his mum or Phil to come, but he knew it wasn't allowed for people to be back there.

"You've got this!" Phil called, just as the nurse led him down a hallway into his certain death.

Phil sat impatiently beside Dan's mother, alternating between bouncing his legs and tapping on the chair. He was nervous for his best friend. He was worried that something could go wrong or even just the fact that Dan would be in a lot of pain. Obviously he kept this to himself when said boy was around because he was already on the edge of a breakdown with his own nerves.

"He really will be okay, you know?" Mrs. Howell reminded, laughing at his jittery state. Phil nodded and sighed, grabbing his phone and connecting to the WiFi. He had to get the password from the receptionist, who scrawled it neatly on a Post-It-Note.

"Dan and Phil," she mused beside him, patting his thigh. "Both a bunch of worrisome boys." Phil laughed and nodded, knowing there was no use in denying it. He had been worrying about his best friend since they were in Year 5 when the boy had moved to Phil's school. They were both the ripe age of sixteen now and Phil reckoned that he still hasn't stopped worrying.

To keep his mind busy for next hour or so, he logged on to IFunny, and scrolled through thousands of pictures in the collective, saving only the dankest of memes for when Dan was in pain later. He even went to the trouble of making a few memes himself, and he would admit that a few of them were the funniest thing since Doge - which was Dan's all time favorite.

"What are you doing on your phone there?" The woman asked, pointing to a picture that he was currently cropping. He laughed a bit to himself and looked up.

"I'm making a meme for Dan," he said very seriously. "To make him feel better later, I hope."

"Is that what he's always laughing about in his room?" She asked, chuckling at him. Phil nodded and grinned.

"We're always sending them to one another. Memes make up about seventy-five per cent of our texts,"

Phil liked Dan's mum. She pretty much keeps up with trends and things on the internet, probably thanks to Dan. Other than that, she's also really funny and sweet and she always cooks Phil's favorite foods. More often than not, she sends food in Tupperware bowls with Dan so Phil doesn't have to eat the nasty school lunch.

Phil's mum works a lot, or she would fix his lunch, but that doesn't really bother him. He loves Mrs. Howell's cooking. And to be honest, he just loves Mrs. Howell. Well, he loves all the Howells, if he's telling the truth. Especially Dan.

"Phil!" Dan cheered, sounding like he had a major lisp. Phil blamed that on the fact that his mouth was full of gauze, his cheeks were swollen, and probably numb with medicine. His mouth wasn't the only thing affected, though. His entire body was limp as they pushed him through the waiting room in a wheelchair. His eyes were wide, though, like everything around him was new and magical.

"Hey, buddy," Phil chuckled, reaching out for his hand. Dan flopped his own hand into Phil's palm and gasped.

"Your hand is so soft!" He said, dragging out the oh. "Just like peanut butter. Is your hand peanut butter, Phil? I'm so hungry,"

"My hand isn't peanut- Dan! Stop licking my fingers!" Phil scolded, pulling his hand away from Dan's tongue. His best friend looked at him for a moment, eyes and mouth wide open, before he started to tear up. Phil started to apologize because he knew the boy was hungry; he wasn't allowed to eat before surgery and it was already lunchtime now.

"I want a baby dog," he moaned, flopping his head back into the air, hitting the nurse in the waist.

"Easy there, honey," she laughed, patting his wavy brown hair before turning to the boy's mother. "The medicine should wear off soon, but until then, keep an eye on him. He might need painkillers, but only every 6 hours. Make sure his mouth stays clean and I would recommend only easy, soft foods. He will probably be in pain for a few days. Call if anything goes wrong,"

"Alright, thank you," she said, leaning down to raise Dan up from under his arms. He wiggled and stumbled while trying to stand, and started giggling the whole time. He was pretty much dead weight because he wasn't exactly controlling his limbs, which made getting him to the car a great deal harder for his mum.

"My legs," Dan lisped, wobbling as he walked to the car. "my legs are grape jelly,"

By this point, Phil pulled out his phone because he knew that Dan would want to see this later. He started up the video and watched as he almost fell trying to get into the backseat.

"Here, let me help," he said, handing his phone over to Dan's mum and helping the boy into the car. Once the loopy boy was seated and buckled in, he took his phone back.

"Phil! They put a pig in my arm," Dan said, watching bugeyed as his best friend got into the car beside him.

"Did they?" Phil asked, pointing the camera at Dan as the brunet pointed to his arm, where they had put the medicine in.

"Yes," he nodded, surely.

Dan's mum looked back at them through the mirror, and askerd Phil if they should get something to eat.

"Danny, are you hungry? Do you want some food?" Phil asked, and when his friend nodded, he turned back to the mirror. "Yeah, he's hungry. Maybe stop by McDonald's? He could probably sip a coke. Maybe some yogurt."

"Okay, to McDonald's then!" She cheered, looking back to gauge her son's reaction. He was totally spaced out, staring out the window and occasionally grunting of he saw an animal. Phil stopped the video, and watched Dan for a few minutes until his phone started buzzing.

"Dan, look," Phil said, tapping his thigh. The boy looked over and said, "what?" but it sounded funny with his mouth being so full. "Louise is calling. She wants to Skype."

"I forgot about Lou!" Dan gasped, staring at the screen as he swayed. Phil answered the call and was greeted with a very close up of Louise's face. She laughed and pulled it away, focusing it on the whole group: Zoe, her brother, Joe, and obviously herself.

"Hello, Dan! How are you, dear?" Zoe asked, making a funny face at Joe who had pushed her so he could see the phone.

"They put pigs in my arm!" Dan said, in a very serious and shocked expression. He bent his elbow in a weird manner so they could see the bandage where the IV had been put in.

"Are you sure it was a pig and not a cow?" Joe asked, humoring him. Dan nodded surely.

"Can't you hear them? They don't sound like cows at all," Dan said, getting closer to phone with every word he spoke. The screen was almost touching his nose. Phil pulled it away from him and told him to stop, causing Dan to stare at him.

Phil laughed at him and told him to stop staring, so Dan reached his hand out and put his fingers in the boy's mouth.

Louise laughed on the screen and said, "I can't hear the pigs, Dan,"

"Oink, oink, oink!" Dan mocked, as Phil pulled his fingers away from his own mouth. "That's what they sound like,"

Everyone on screen laughed, and in the background, the two boys could see someone walking up. Said someone was actually Alfie, who snaked his arms around Zoe from behind and kissed the top of her head.

"Oh, hey, Dan," he greeted, waving to the phone. "How is your mouth?"

"What's wrong with my mouth?" Dan asked, confused as he cocked his head to the side, looking like a chipmunk with puffy cheeks.

Alfie laughed and said, "You got your wisdom teeth out, remember?" Dan nodded then, shaking his head far longer than normal. He made an "oh" sound that he dragged out for a few seconds.

"They put pigs in his arm, did you know?" Joe asked him, turning to look at his sister's boyfriend.

"No, they didn't," Alfie laughed, before looking to the brunet through the phone. "Dan, that was just medicine."

"Ohhh, okay," Dan nodded seriously, then turned to Phil. "It was just the medicine, Phil. Not pigs. Oink." And then Dan was giggling and looking around like a baby goggling at a new world.

"He's pretty tripped out on drugs, as you can see," Phil said to the camera. Everyone nodded and Joe requested videos be sent to his phone for blackmail in the future. Obviously, Phil complied.

"Well, we best be going, lunch is almost over," Louise said, and everyone cheered their goodbyes and well wishes to Dan, who couldn't stop smiling and mumbling something about how sweet everyone was.

"Oh, Lou! Before you go," Dan said, right before Phil clicked off. "Your skirt is so pretty. It's purple just like Phil's eyes!"

"Dan, her shirt is blue," Phil said, chuckling a bit at how slurred Dan's words were. The brunet's eyes started to well up and Phil was sure he was going to start crying.

"But it's purple, Phil. Just like your eyes," Dan whined, touching his friend's cheek bone, right beneath his left eye.

"Okay, Dan, yeah, you're right," Phil soothed, and everyone on the screen agreed that Louise's skirt was purple instead of blue. "Please, don't cry, sweetheart,"

"Okay, Philly," Dan said, and nodded, then layed his head on Phil's shoulder.

"We're gonna go," the so called purple-eyed boy said, waving at everyone and saying goodbye. Dan waved, too, while sticking his tongue out and wiggling it around. Phil ended the call and put his phone down, rubbing Dan's leg.

"I have a tongue, Phil. Look!" Dan said, pushing it out of his mouth again. The other boy laughed and poked it.

"You sure do, Dan."

One half empty cup of coke later and the three were finally back to Dan's home. Phil had just decided to stay the weekend to help care and comfort his best friend.

The medicine had started to wear off, so Dan was beginning to act normal again, which was a blessing and curse at once. He definitely didn't like feeling so out of it, but his mouth was really starting to hurt. Luckily his mum had picked up his prescription painkillers and had already dosed him accordingly, but he didn't want to do anything. At all.

At the moment, he was watching a movie with Phil, laying across the couch with his head on his friend's lap. He always liked the fact that they were very touchy with each other. Phil always rested his hands on Dan's legs or played with his hair when watching films and Dan liked to play with the boy's fingers when they talked.

He shivered as pale fingers carded through his dark brown hair, twirling softly at the ends.

"These drugs are good," Dan laughed, now that the pain was subsiding.

"I need some of whatever you had earlier. You thought they put pigs in your arm," Phil teased, bopping Dan's nose.

"Shut up, I couldn't help it," he blushed, pushing his head down to press against his friends lap.

"You thought my eyes were purple, and cried when I tried to tell you different," Phil was laughing at him now, remembering the events. He pulled his phone out and showed the video of Dan trying to get in the car and saying his legs were jelly.

"Oh my god," the brunet said, hands covering his face in embarrassment. "Send that to no one."

"Too late. I've sent it to everyone," he said, shaking his head at the boy below him.

"Here, look through these," he said before Dan had a chance to reply. He pulled up his camera roll and passed his phone to his friend. "I saved a bunch of memes for you. I even made some when I got bored,"

Dan laughed until his mouth hurt again, and laughed more when he dropped the phone on his face. Twice. He decided that Phil was probably the best friend he could ask for. Who else was gonna make him memes and take care of his whiny ass when he got his teeth cut out?

Dan knew the answer to that, and other than his mum, it was no one.

Dan's mum cooked a lovely meal of lasagna and garlic bread, with Caesar salad on the side - which was sadly Dan's favorite food, but it was also Phil's and that's why she made it. Dan's father arrived home a few minutes before dinner, to find his son sprawled out on the couch, groaning because he was starving but his mouth hurt too much to eat and honestly, the mug of warm tea on the coffee table was not filling him up.

Phil felt sorry for him because his best friend hadn't eaten a day, and Phil would've brought him food, but he didn't think that was a good idea when talking alone hurt Dan's mouth. So, he sat at the dining table with the two adults - who were practically his parents, too - and ate a delicious supper.

"This really is good," Phil complimented, already on his second plate.

"Thank you, dear," the woman said, a sincere grin on her face. Phil knew that she loved being complimented on her cooking. "I just wish Dan could eat," she said it with a sigh.

From the living room, a groan of agreement was heard. Phil laughed.

"I think he agrees," Phil stated. Dan moaned again and everyone chuckled.

"We'll save you some leftovers for tomorrow, son," Dan's father called, and it was kind of funny in the way that it shouldn't it be funny. Why were they laughing at Dan's discomfort and why was it even funny? Just the situation itself was frustrating, especially for Dan, who was also laughing miserably as he walked into the kitchen.

"You guys are mean," he pouted, flopping down beside Phil and in front of his dad. "I'm dying over here and you're laughing at my pain as I suffer,"

"Oh, stop being so dramatic," his dad mused. "You're worse than your mother."

"I'm not dramatic in the least," she huffed, and everybody laughed because they knew it wasn't true.

Going to sleep was proving to be difficult for Dan. He couldn't get comfortable because he had to lay on his back. You see, Dan likes to sleep on his side, facing the door, but his mouth was so sore that even laying on his cheeks hurt.

"Stop tossing," Phil mumbled, groaning as he turned to face Dan. They always shared a bed when staying over at each other's houses because there was no way they were making the other sleep on the floor or the sofa, and secretly, they love to be close.

"I'm sorry," Dan huffed sarcastically, flipping over on his back again, moving his legs to rest atop of Phil's under the covers. Whenever his best friend is sharing a bed, he can't go to sleep unless he's somehow touching Phil. "It's not like I can help the fact that I got my teeth cut out of my face today and guess what, it didn't exactly feel pleasurable,"

Phil frowned sympathetically, and rubbed his hand over Dan's in comfort, saying, "You're right, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Dan said, lolling his head over to press it against Phil's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I'll try and sleep,"

It was funny how Dan could never get angry at his best friend. If anyone else, Joe, Louise, or Zoe had fussed at him for tossing, he would've gotten aggravated, but all Phil had to do was touch him or use his gentle voice, and Dan was putty in his hands - any shred of anger, gone with a snap of the fingers.

Dan smiled in spite of this, though, because he secretly liked it.

Sleep was starting to take over now, beckoning him closer after the day's tiring events. His breathing got deeper as his thoughts became hazier with each second passing.

"I love you, Phil, do you know that?" He asked, half of the words mumbled sleepily.

"Obviously. I love you, too," Phil said, and his fingers began caressing at Dan's hand again, pushing him closer to the edge of unconsciousness.

"But, not like you do," He argued, eyes closed and teetering between sleep and awake. "More than a friend is how I love you,"

"I know, Dan. I love you, too," Phil hummed, turning his head to kiss the brunet's hair. "Good night, little lily pad."

#dan howell #phil lester #Dan and Phil #phan #phanfiction #fluff #platonic

46 notes · View notes

statetalks · 3 years

Text

What If The Republicans Win Everything Again

The Mail Ballot Factor Is A Wild Card

Saagar Enjeti: Trump WON The GOP Civil War, But Can They EVER Win Again?

Early on, California election authorities decided to proactively send mail ballots to all registered voters, just as they did in the pandemic general election of 2020. They can be returned via enclosed postage paid envelopes or dropped off at voting centers on September 14. So, if California Democrats do become motivated to vote, it wont be hard for them to do so. And you do have to wonder if Donald Trumps demonization of mail ballots during and after the 2020 presidential election might still inhibit Republicans from voting that way, even if there remains an option for turning in ballots in person.

Newsom Is Embracing A Risky Message Telling Voters To Ignore The Replacement Race

Without question, the 2003 recall election haunts todays recall opponents. There is a strong belief that Davis lost because his lieutenant governor, Cruz Bustamante, jumped into the replacement race and drew voters into supporting the recall without mustering enough support to beat Schwarzenegger. So, Team Newsom not only kept credible Democrats from running to replace him; theyve also tried to discourage Democratic voters from answering the second question on the ballot about their preference among replacement candidates. As Politico noted recently, this one-and-done messaging may be confusing or even angering the very voters Newsom needs:

Its kind of counterintuitive to forgo your right to vote,;said;Barbara OConnor, director emeritus of the Institute for the Study of Politics and the Media at Sacramento State. Everyone is in a conundrum about what they should do.

What makes the pay-no-attention-to-the-replacement-candidate-behind-the-curtain instruction to Democrats especially confusing is a new round of anti-recall ads attacking replacement front-runner Larry Elder as to the right of Trump. If Elder is so evil, shouldnt Democrats vote for someone else in the field of 45 other candidates, some of whom identify as Democrats? Its unclear.

What If Trump Wins

For many people, the prospect of what might happen if Donald Trump wins a second term is too awful to contemplate. But, as we are witnessing with the coronavirus, not contemplating scenarios that have at least some chance of happening is a grave mistake. Indeed, its a mistake that helped elect Trump in the first place.

Ideally, the press corps would be hard at work exploring this question. Alas, it is not. In the thousands of presidential campaign stories that have been published this year, you will be hard pressed to find much reporting or informed speculation about what policies Trump might pursue if hes reelected, or what the consequences might be if he were successful in enacting them. Thats not because such things arent knowable in advance. If that were the problem, political reporters wouldnt have spent the last six months gaming out which candidates were, say, likely to win which primaries. The real reason campaign journalists dont do this kind of work is that its not what theyre trained to doand, perhaps, its not what most people want to read.;

Read Also: How Many Registered Republicans In Texas

The Gop Would Rather Nation Crumble Than Give Democrats Political Win On Infrastructure

Politics in Washington is full of playacting, but few recent charades have been as absurd as the extended negotiation between Democrats and Republicans over whether they can agree on a bipartisan infrastructure bill.

Now it seems to be approaching its inevitable end: Republicans now say they’ll be making a counteroffer to the latest White House offer, even as everyone tells reporters how poorly negotiations are going.

All of which provides an excellent case study in how the two parties are motivated and constrained by their political incentives, regardless of what they might think about the substantive issue at hand.

Let’s start by considering three possible outcomes of this effort. First, Congress could pass a meaningful infrastructure bill with support from members of both parties. This is what both sides say they want .

Second, Democrats could pass an infrastructure bill with zero Republican votes. This is probably what will end up happening, provided that Sens. Joe Manchin III and Kyrsten Sinema , self-appointed guardians of bipartisan compromise, can be persuaded that the effort to win the support of Republicans was performed with sufficient enthusiasm.

Third, the bill could fail altogether, either because Manchin or Sinema pulls their support, or because a Democratic senator falls ill and can’t vote for it in the 50-50 Senate, or for some other reason.

Bipartisan passage of the bill Democrats-only passage of the bill Failure of the bill

What Motivates The Republican Party

The GOP seems wildly hypocritical and unprincipled, until you understand its guiding idea.

In the fall of 2014, the Obama White House was busy trying to stop the spread of Ebola. The administration sent advisers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to assist the afflicted countries health ministries, and it sent troops to West Africa to build emergency hospitals. It began screening people arriving in the United States from at-risk nations. It isolated and treated several American medical personnel who contracted the virus abroad and brought it back home.

Toward the end of his new book, The Imposters, Steve Benen reminds us of what the Republican Party was doing while all of this was happening:

As Election Day neared . . . Kentucky Republican eagerness to exploit public anxieties started to spin out of control. Paul publicly questioned Ebola assessments from the actual experts, blamed political correctness for the Ebola threat, and traveled to battleground states questioning whether Obama administration officials had the basic level of competence necessary to maintain public safety.

He added soon after, describing a hypothetical flight, If this was a plane full of people who were symptomatic, youd be at grave risk of getting Ebola. If a plane takes twelve hours, how do you know if people will become symptomatic or not?

The Impostors:How Republicans Quit Governing and Seized American Politicsby Steve BenenWilliam Morrow, 384 pp.

Ed Kilgore

Read Also: What Is Trump’s Approval Rating Among Republicans

How Far Can A Governor Take Emergency Powers

Republicans have criticized Newsoms use of emergency power during the coronavirus pandemic, saying hes exerted too much control without the usual checks and balances. As the pandemic sidelined normal work in the Legislature last year, Newsom issued as many executive orders in 2020 as his predecessor did in eight years.;

Assemblymember Kevin Kiley a Rocklin Republican now running in the recall election sued Newsom to try to limit his emergency power, but ultimately lost in court. With that ruling that a governor has broad authority to change or rescind laws during an emergency, GOP candidates are now talking about how theyd use such power themselves.

I would not use executive authority to create new laws and new policies, as this governor has, Kiley said in an interview with CalMatters. But I would use it to unwind things that never shouldve been there to begin with.;

Kiley said he would end Newsoms pandemic emergency declaration, which would set the stage for reversing related public health rules, such as the requirement that children wear masks at school and that state employees and health care workers get vaccinated against COVID-19 . Other GOP candidates also pledge to reverse Newsoms mask and vax orders.;;;

But the major Republican recall candidates are talking about using emergency powers for a lot more than the pandemic.;

Kevin Faulconer, the Republican former mayor of San Diego, said he would to speed up prevention efforts to clear trees and brush.;

Republican Party Faces Rage From Both Pro

By Peter Eisler, Chris Kahn, Tim Reid, Simon Lewis, Jarrett Renshaw

13 Min Read

WASHINGTON – After riots at the U.S. Capitol by President Donald Trumps supporters, the Republican Party is facing defections from two camps of voters it cant afford to lose: those saying Trump and his allies went too far in contesting the election of Democrat Joe Biden – and those saying they didnt go far enough, according to new polling and interviews with two dozen voters.

Paul Foster – a 65-year-old house painter in Ellsworth, Maine – is furious at party leaders for refusing to back the presidents claims that the election was stolen with millions of fraudulent votes. The party is going to be totally broken if it abandons Trump, Foster says, predicting Trump loyalists will spin off into a new third party.

I just wish he would run away with his tail between his legs, Cupelo says.

Though Republicans have now lost control of the White House and both houses of Congress in just four years, Trumps base remains a potent electoral force in the party. That base helped him capture more voters some 74 million than any Republican in history. The vast majority of his supporters, including 70% of Republicans, remain loyal, according to new Reuters/Ipsos polling conducted days after last weeks riot at the Capitol, and many activists say theyre willing to abandon the GOP for any perceived slight against their leader.

You May Like: Did Republicans And Democrats Switch Names

Theres Even More Drama On The Horizon

Sparse polling of the recall election has shown a tightening contest on whether or not to remove Newsom. Elder also has a growing lead in the replacement race, though at least one poll has YouTube financial advisor and self-identified Democrat Kevin Paffrath actually topping the field. Team Newsom probably has mixed feelings about future polling, fearing both confirmation of the trend favoring Newsoms removal and less alarming numbers that might let Democrats relax back into complacency and indifference.

The anti-recall effort has the resources to dominate paid advertising down the stretch , but it will need to settle on a consistent message and combat the growing word of mouth among Republicans that this is the moment theyve all been waiting for. Another variable involves the internal dynamics of the replacement race. With no general election on tap , Elders Republican rivals have no reason to hold back from savagely attacking him from one angle as Democrats attack him from the other. If late polls show a rival catching up with the talk-show host, it could have a hard-to-predict effect on turnout or might even vault Paffrath into the governorship should Newsom fall.

What If 19 Alternate Histories Imagining A Very Different World

Caller: Can Republican Party Ever Win Again?

Alternate history, long popular with fiction writers, has also been explored by historians and journalists. Here are some of their intriguing conclusions.

1. What if the South won the Civil War?

Effect: America becomes one nation again in 1960.

Explanation: In a 1960 article published in Look magazine, author and Civil War buff MacKinlay Kantor envisioned a history in which the Confederate forces won the Civil War in 1863, forcing the despised President Lincoln into exile. The Southern forces annex Washington, DC renaming it the District of Dixie. The USA moves its capital to Columbus, Ohio now called ;Columbia but can no longer afford to buy Alaska from the Russians. Texas, unhappy with the new arrangement, declares its independence in 1878. Under international pressure, the Southern states gradually abolish slavery. After fighting together in two world wars, the three nations are reunified in 1960 a century after South Carolinas secession had led to the Civil War in the first place.

2. What if Charles Lindbergh were elected President in 1940?

Effect: America joins the Nazis.

3. What if Hitler successfully invaded Russia?

Effect: The Fuhrer is revered in history as a great leader.

4. What if James Dean had survived his car crash?

Effect: Robert Kennedy survives his assassination attempt.

5. What if President Kennedy had survived the assassination attempt?

Effect: Republicans win every election for the next 30 years.

6. What if Christianity missed the West?

Read Also: How Many Federal Judges Are Republicans

‘combative Tribal Angry’: Newt Gingrich Set The Stage For Trump Journalist Says

All these factors combined to produce a windfall for Republicans all over the country in the midterms of 1994, but it was a watershed election in the South. For more than a century after Reconstruction, Democrats had held a majority of the governorships and of the Senate and House seats in the South. Even as the region became accustomed to voting Republican for president, this pattern had held at the statewide and congressional levels.

But in November 1994, in a single day, the majority of Southern governorships, Senate seats and House seats shifted to the Republicans. That majority has held ever since, with more legislative seats and local offices shifting to the GOP as well. The South is now the home base of the Republican Party.

The 2020 aftermath

No wonder that in contesting the results in six swing states he lost, Trump seems to have worked hardest on Georgia. If he had won there, he still would have lost the Electoral College decisively. But as the third most populous Southern state, and the only Southern state to change its choice from 2016, it clearly held special significance.

Trump Says Republicans Would Never Be Elected Again If It Was Easier To Vote

President dismissed Democratic-led push for voter reforms amid coronavirus pandemic during Fox & Friends appearance

Donald Trump admitted on Monday that making it easier to vote in America would hurt the Republican party.

The president made the comments as he dismissed a Democratic-led push for reforms such as vote-by-mail, same-day registration and early voting as states seek to safely run elections amid the Covid-19 pandemic. Democrats had proposed the measures as part of the coronavirus stimulus. They ultimately were not included in the $2.2tn final package, which included only $400m to states to help them run elections.

The things they had in there were crazy. They had things, levels of voting that if youd ever agreed to it, youd never have a Republican elected in this country again, Trump said during an appearance on Fox & Friends. They had things in there about election days and what you do and all sorts of clawbacks. They had things that were just totally crazy and had nothing to do with workers that lost their jobs and companies that we have to save.

I dont want everybody to vote, Paul Weyrich, an influential conservative activist, said in 1980. As a matter of fact, our leverage in the elections quite candidly goes up as the voting populace goes down.

The urgency of getting election officials those resources should not be lost in the political fighting, said Myrna Perez, director of the Brennan Centers voting rights and elections program.

Also Check: What Do Republicans Think About Healthcare

Reality Check 2: The Fight Is Asymmetricaland Favors The Gop

While Democrats gesture on Twitter at building new systems, Republicans are working the current one with ruthless effectiveness.

The threats to a free and fair election that have emerged since last November are realand require nothing more than the willingness of state legislators to use and abuse the existing tools of government. Arizona, whose two new voting rules were just validated by the Supreme Court, also took the power to litigate election laws away from the Secretary of State and gave the power to the Attorney General. In at least 8 states, Republicans are advancing legislation that would take power away from local or county boards. Many more states are moving to make voting harder. It might be anti-democratic, but it falls well within the rules.

Also within the rules: How McConnell helped build a federal bench almost certain to ratify the power of those legislatures to pass laws far more restrictive than the Arizona rules upheld last week. He creatively eviscerated Senate norms to keep Merrick Garland off the Supreme Court and hand Donald Trump an astonishing three nominations in a single term. And hes recently suggested that, should a Supreme Court vacancy open, hed block even consideration of a Biden nominee if the Republicans take the Senate back in 2022. This is abnormal, anti-democratic and a cynical abuse of powerbut its legal within the existing rules.

The Plausible Solution: Just Win More

Whether the public sees Democratic demands for these structural changes as overdue or overreaching, the key point is that they are currently exercises in futility. The only plausible road to winning their major policy goals is to win by winning. This means politics, not re-engineering. They need to find ways to take down their opponents, and then be smarter about using that power while they have it.

They certainly have issues to campaign on. In the few weeks, we have learned that some of Americas wealthiest people have paid only minimal or no federal income tax at all. Even as the Wall Street Journal editorial writers were responding to a Code Red emergency , the jaw-dropping nature of the reportfollowed by a New York Times piece about the impotence of the IRS to deal with the tax evasions of private equity royaltyconfirmed the folk wisdom of countless bars, diners, and union halls: the wealthy get away with murder.

Of course this is a whole lot easier said than done. A political climate where inflation, crime and immigration are dominant issues has the potential to override good economic news. And 2020 already showed what can happen when a relative handful of voices calling for defunding the police can drown out the broader usage of economic fairness.

Filed Under:

Read Also: How Many Senate Seats Do The Republicans Have

Can Democrats Avoid A Wipeout In 2022

Bidens plan: Go big or go home.

The good news for Democrats who watched Joe Biden unveil a historically ambitious agenda last night is that newly elected presidents have almost always passed some version of their core economic planparticularly when their party controls both congressional chambers, as Bidens does now.

The bad news: Voters have almost always punished the presidents party in the next midterm election anyway. The last two times Democrats had unified controlwith Bill Clinton in 199394 and Barack Obama in 200910they endured especially resounding repudiations in the midterms, which cost Clinton his majority in both chambers and Obama the loss of the House.

Theres a very different strategy this time, David Price, a Democratic representative from North Carolina and a former political scientist, told me. Theres an openness now to the sense that a bolder plan, ironically, might have greater appeal for independents and others we need to attract than trying to trim and split the difference with Republicans.

There is this recognition of this moment and how fleeting it is, and an evaluation that, absent the trifecta of control, it is very hard to move big policy, said a senior official at one of the partys leading outside advocacy groups, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss internal strategizing. So you have to take your shot. I think thats part of what undergirds Go big.

source https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-if-the-republicans-win-everything-again/

0 notes