#and of course the entire loss of identity that comes with all of that.. its rebirth in the truest sense of the word. nothing is left of you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

battlekidx2 · 4 months

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Blue Eye Samurai Thoughts

These thoughts are sort of scattered and don’t cover everything I think makes this show great but I wanted to get something out about this amazing show.

Every once in a while an animated project comes around that makes me sit back in awe that something this phenomenal was allowed to be made. That something this rife with creativity, care, and emotion was given the freedom necessary for the people behind the scenes to make an authentic experience that really pushes the boundaries of what animation can do. And Blue Eye Samurai did just that.

The last time I felt that way about an animated show was Arcane.

Blue Eye Samurai follows Mizu, a child of mixed race that was deemed a monster due to her parentage, and her journey to kill the man who sired her. It’s a dark, tragic tale that blends 2D and 3D animation to create a story that centers themes of prejudice, class, identity, found family, revenge, and loss.

It’s one of the most gorgeous shows to come out in the last few years. With pretty much the entire show having the ability to leave you breathless. The action scenes in particular are standouts (shocking I know).

In these action scenes the show really embraces the freedom its rating gives it without falling into the usual trappings shows with a mature rating tend to. Blue Eye Samurai has an abundance of bloody gore filled violence that never becomes gratuitous. It all feels purposeful and poignant within the story itself and how it explores its themes. It gives the consequences of Mizu’s revenge depth. Not just in how it effects the people around her and the collateral, but also in how the violence Mizu perpetrates effects her.

This is best explored in episode 5 (The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride), which is probably the best episode in the season, where we get to see a glimpse into Mizu’s past and how her path towards revenge is solidified.

The hopefulness of the past is directly juxtaposed with the bloody carnage of the present, while the story of the bride and the ronin is told over the course of the episode. There’s a foreboding that is layered over top of every scene in the past, the knowledge that in some way this goes wrong and leads Mizu to this point. To become this force of nature capable of cutting down men without hesitation.

It shows those parts of Mizu she’s lost through the hardships her life threw at her and those parts she’s been forced to discard herself to accomplish her goals.

The loss brought on by the hardships her life threw at her is shown in the past with her mother and husband and their betrayal and death. And the parts of herself she’s had to discard is shown in the present when she initially spares the boy that turns her in and almost gets the women in the brothel and herself killed that she ultimately kills in the end when faced with the same choice.

This is all just scratching the surface of this exploration, but I think it gets across the point that this show does a good job of exploring the nuances of revenge and what led Mizu to this point.

It’s the show’s meticulous exploration of aspects of Mizu’s character that makes her such a complicated character and an amazing protagonist. I don’t know if anything I write would really do her justice, but the complexity and nuance of her character alone make this show worth watching.

The second most interesting character to me was Akemi.

Akemi’s arc is incredibly compelling. She goes from feeling trapped and trying desperately to escape to learning how to use her cunning to try and become great. But because this arc is occurring in Blue Eye Samurai it isn’t as straightforward as that description makes it seem on the surface. That arc is flipped on its head and to show what I mean I want to look at the scene on the bridge.

That scene on the bridge after Seki dies was one of the most intriguing of the final episode. That moment you can see the shift in Akemi’s desires from that of freedom to that of greatness. In many ways this isn’t the victory that it should be.

The wording seems like that of someone taking control of their own destiny and deciding to pull themselves up to a position higher than anyone thought possible, but the framing with the city in flames behind her, the shogunate’s enemies burning alive, and Seki dead on the ground put it in a more tragic/sinister light.

And those words she speaks that are on the surface sound triumphant echo sentiments that her father has said to her (telling him he’s only alive because of her and the belief that she can control the shogun, etc). Her desire for greatness even reflects his own.

This isn’t really freedom and considering the almost naive quest for that freedom she went through during the season and was even hopeful she could obtain just moments before, living out her days with Seki on his family farm, make this feel less a victory and more like she’s becoming what she has to. That she’s hardened. That she’s starting down a path that mirrors Mizu’s in some ways.

And this mirror between Mizu and Akemi is clearly intentional. The show itself visually mirrors the two within this same episode in the exact scene I was just talking about.

And throughout the season she is the most direct foil to Mizu. Both found different ways to try and work around the inherent restrictions being a woman in 1600s Japan would entail, to gain any semblance of freedom from those restrictions, but were ultimately hurt by those expectations/restrictions in a way that forced them to change.

They took how they handled it in two completely opposite directions (Mizu presenting as a man and Akemi using her sexuality and forced marriage to her advantage. In broad, over-simplified terms: rejecting femininity vs embracing it to achieve their goals) which is what makes them such interesting foils for one another.

This parallel/contrast to Mizu makes her the most interesting of the supporting cast and her end point puts her into what might be the most compelling spot out of all the main characters heading into next season.

(Plus she’s voiced by Brenda Song aka Anne Boonchuy and London Tipton)

Honestly all of the characters are given nuance that makes them at the very least entertaining.

The show even manages to make a character that could have just been comedic relief an interesting character and an avenue to expand on its exploration of themes with (season MVP) Ringo.

This is best shown through Ringo’s views of greatness. They at first seem shallow and naive. Not really looking deeper than the surface at what this idea entails and he floats from one thing to the next so easily that it can initially seem unfocused, but I think that’s the point. Ringo doesn’t really know what greatness is so his view of it is constantly changing and what he believes he can be great at is constantly changing too.

Just like the audience he is awed by Mizu’s strength and ability in battle, but as the brutality and reality of what that skill brings comes to light the idea that this skill and determination is greatness slowly dims. It never entirely dies out because this isn’t meant to destroy his idea of greatness, but instead change it from a black and white binary to something that is more blurred. He still sees greatness/potential for greatness within Mizu, but he doesn’t see her as the pinnacle anymore. The end all be all.

And what he can do to be great constantly changes because he’s suddenly had so many opportunities he never could have dreamed about, due to his disability and being stuck at his father’s noodle shop, opened to him that he needs the time to explore what he wants. He’s still trying to find his calling and by the end of the series he might have found the start of it in the same place that Mizu did– With Swordfather.

The one thing about Blue Eye Samurai that didn’t quite work for me is the use of music. The show’s score is beautiful and used to great effect, but the music it chose to put over scenes would pull me out of the moment almost every time because it used highly recognizable songs that I’d heard in so many pieces of media it felt inauthentic and jarring.

This is a small complaint because there are only 2 scenes where the music choice did this, but I felt I should mention it because of how important these scenes were supposed to be. The rest of the show easily makes up for this small gripe.

I could probably ramble about this show all day but I’ll cut this off here and say this: Blue Eye Samurai easily lives up to the hype that everyone has been giving it. It’s a visually stunning show with compelling characters that explores its themes in such depth that I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Random thoughts

I love the shot of Mizu in The Great Fire of 1657 where she’s staring Fowler down, flames behind her and eyes a piercing blue, because of the perspective of this shot. This is shown through the eyes of Fowler, the man who just brought an army to the shogunate’s doorstep with the plan to take over Japan, and yet he’s afraid of Mizu and the lengths she will go to achieve her goals. It’s such a chilling shot that absolutely shook me to my core. (Man Blue Eye Samurai is amazing at these types of shots)

Taigen is a character that I had a lot of fun with, but didn’t make as much of an impression on me as the rest of the characters. He isn’t as complicated and compelling as Mizu and Akemi or as thematically interesting as (season MVP) Ringo. I wish I had more to say about him, but I don’t. I do think his dynamic with Mizu is interesting though.

Fowler is a really fun villain and I can’t wait to see how he plays off of Mizu now that he is going to be her guide in London. I can’t wait to explore those bombshells he dropped in the finale about Mizu’s origins.

The fights in episode 6 were the most visually stunning to me in the season. The way it played around with lighting and perspective was incredible.

I didn’t talk about it much above but I thought the way Blue Eye Samurai explored Mizu’s relationship to her gender to be very compelling and nuanced. The way it’s handled lends itself to a fascinating exploration of identity and gender that I think is important.

Swordfather has such a great relationship with Mizu. He knew she didn't leave his house the night before and just decides to adopt her and teach her everything he knows, giving her a stable relationship that doesn't reinforce her shame. He doesn't recognize her mixed heritage as a point of shame instead embracing her for who she is and letting her know that her mixed heritage doesn't make her impure, standing up for her when the bandit threatens to hit her and insults her origins. This genuine care is something Mizu desperately needed as a child and it was amazing to watch.

I think I want to go into greater depth at some point on my points on Mizu and Akemi being mirrors to one another and how The Ronin and the Bride explores violence and loss and how they're intertwined in Mizu's life at some point.

It’s shows like this that make me even more frustrated at Netflix. They were on such a role in animation and were (and sort of still are) a driving factor in changing the landscape of adult animation that they were frequently the platform that I was most excited to see new animated projects on, but then they absolutely gutted their animation division and showed little to no respect to the work of those that made the animated properties and I lost a lot of respect for them as a result. I really hope projects like Blue Eye Samurai keep being made and that platforms start respecting animation like it deserves.

I kind of feel like adding a few adult animated recommendations on netflix to this so here goes: Arcane (duh. It’s a masterpiece), Pluto, Cyberpunk Edgerunners, Castlevania, Carol and the End of the World, Skull Island, Inside Job, and Tear Along the Dotted Line.

#blue eye samurai #netflix #mizu #akemi #ringo #swordfather #taigen #season 1 was phenomenal #the ronin and the bride #I really loved this show #watch it immediately #spoilers below the cut

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jinkookspencil · 8 months

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bts as musicals

simply put, bts as staged musicals i'm familiar with. a very random list and post i wrote up at 3am. it's not to be taken too seriously of course, and this is just my sleep-deprived opinion and take

namjoon - hamilton

i feel this is self explanatory for anyone familiar with both hamilton and nj

hamilton, entirely self written about a self-made man with the weight of the world on his shoulders who needed to prove himself, all while being completely in homage to rap legends through and through

HELLO????

hamilton is also a musical very centered around loss and i can really see that in joon

loss, rap, and the eternal internal struggle!!!

he'd have so much fun with it but it'd wreck him

satisfied especially

also i hate to make this point but when it comes to the hate that these two receive, sometimes it’s clear that it’s really forced hatred

seokjin - hairspray

the ladies choice amiright ladies?

obviously there’s link, the very attractive man who everyone wants

who is hopelessly in love with a plus sized beauty <3333 so jin

jin has often expressed his love of being “unserious” and we all know he can be like that mostly on camera, but he definitely has that more serious side that really is the basis for his character

isn’t that vaguely reminiscent of hairspray too though?

we often think of it as this unserious musical but it actually has more layers than one might remember, discussing prejudice, body image, individuality, self-image, integrity

i think all of those things matter a whole lot to seokjin

yoongi - les miserables

fuck the system

really, all about rebellion and revolution

but also let me break your heart a little

and let me make you remember that you’re actually living life

very similar themes across both yoongi’s solo work and les mis - injustice, class, tragedy, loss, to name a few. while also being so sympathetic towards its varied characters, reminiscent of yoongi’s sensitivity and mindset

shit think of how yoongi might react to 'i dreamed a dream'

hoseok - wicked

I think jack in the box just solidifies this as my pick for hoseok tbh

because there’s the childlike wonder side we all see and know (wizard of oz, j-hope of bts)

but then everything that surrounds it and the real story behind it (wicked, jitb)

both wicked and jitb offer a look into a “character” we think we’re familiar with, but it turns out we really aren’t

when we finally see them tell their story in their own words

elphaba struggles with her “role” and so does hobi, literally spelling it out for us in jitb

they both feel trapped, and thus reclaim and reinvent themselves

It’s a very identity-focused musical/album that still links back to prejudice in our world, too and "where they fit in"

jimin - chicago

sex

chicago is a look into fame/celebrity and corruption and ambition, and i think jimin has quite strong values when it comes to that

to me, it seems as though he finds those topics very interesting to think about

and also, how that all intersects with sexuality and gender

it feels like the crux of what chicago is as a musical but also who jimin presents himself to be

taehyung - west side story

i wanted something that’s a bit of a more classic musical for taehyung, and out of the ones i am familiar with, wss seemed the most fitting (tho i have a sneaky suspicion that one of the ones i am *not* familiar with might be more him)

taehyung is a romantic and, like nj, he almost romanticizes his losses and spends time looking back and reflecting on his own relationships and even his relationship with 'love' as a whole - layover proves it

so of course wss makes sense, the dance numbers, the longing, the risk of it all, the fact that it's story about "the power of love"

i think it'd leave quite the impact on tae, if he hasn't seen it yet

despite being a retelling of romeo & juliet (which tae would LOVE) wss also set the precedent for many musicals to come, much like tae did. looking back, it was very innovative for its time in so many different ways

musically, it's very taehyung. i could see him wanting to do covers of the songs. maria, tonight, and something's coming (he'd always go back to this song)

in every iteration of it, it's also very cinematic and very personal at the same time, which means it is very taehyung

jungkook - grease

I didn’t WANT to pick grease and feed into that stereotypical ‘bad boy jk’ idea

but like i can’t not

and it’s not so much that it is representative of who jk is as a person

except aesthetically (the dazed cover is proof)

but that i can see jungkook himself enjoying the musical numbers and poking fun at john travolta, imitating him in his dance moves

i think he’ll particularly enjoy “you’re the one that i want” and might develop some sort of ‘corruption’ fantasy of turning a good girl bad

this might be me projecting that i want jk to do to me shhhhhhh

oh and he will go through a phase of calling his car “grease lightning” and sing the song every damn time he gets in it

yeah it'd be hard as fuck to get jk to get rid of his john travolta impression

#bts headcanons #bts headcanon #bts fic #bts reaction #bts reactions #ot7 fic #ot7 reactions #ot7 scenario #ot7 #ot7 scenarios #bts ot7 #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts scenarios

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ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade · 1 year

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Today marks the 6th anniversary of Final Fantasy XV’s release, and though I started writing a brief tribute to the game over on Twitter, I quickly realized I had much more to say about today’s milestone than Twitter’s character limit would allow for.

So I came back to where it all started for me, here on Tumblr. That I could scarcely remember my password goes to show how regrettably I’ve neglected this account, despite the fact that XV still means a great deal to me. I wish I could say it was because I was more active on Twitter, but even over there I have struggled to post regular updates and engage with the XV community (which I am happy to report still has quite the active fanbase and has even seen some growth by my observations).

In truth, much of my identity has been defined by FFXV these past six years—for better or worse. It’s not an exaggeration to say XV changed the trajectory of my life; it landed in my lap immediately following the worst professional failure of my life, comforted me through the loss of a parent, and brought me in touch with people from around the globe, many of whom have become dear friends to me. My abilities as both a writer and an artist saw the kind of growth I never thought possible for myself. I got to play XV with Adam Croasdell in my own home, got to raise thousands of dollars for charity with the help of the XV cast and dozens of other artists, and I was able to support myself financially for the first time in my entire adult life through the sales of my art. In short, I owe everything from the last six years to Final Fantasy XV.

So as one might imagine, it caused somewhat of an identity crisis in me when the one thing that had brought me such joy began to no longer fuel my passion the way it had in years past. Call it burnout, call it depression, call it a sensitivity to the current events of the world, I don’t know—all I know is, something caused me to lose all motivation to work on anything. Where once I had felt like I had an ocean of inspiration I could tap into at any time, it suddenly felt like a dry well. Even today, my tablet sits mostly unused, waiting for the day that that spark returns.

It certainly is not because I have lost my love for XV. This game, which objectively is deeply flawed yet is somehow greater than the sum of its parts, still resides comfortably in my mind. I play a great deal of Final Fantasy XIV these days, which I enjoy very much and is arguably a better game in many ways, and yet it has not come close to capturing my muse the way XV did. I still have pipe dreams of streaming the entirety of XV on Twitch, not in one 24-hour session like I did for Extra Life Game Day in 2020, but slowly over the course of many weeks, exploring the game thoroughly and experiencing the journey with old and new viewers alike. And someday, I vow to roll back to an earlier patch so that I can unlock those unlockable Comrades trophies on PS4 and finally Platinum the game.

So anyway. That’s a lot of rambling haha. TL;DR: I still love XV, even if I can’t express that love through content the way I used to. I still hope to produce a few pieces here and there, and if I do, you know where to find me. (And if you don’t, you can find me here, here, and here.) Happy Anniversary, XV. As always, you guys... are the best. ♡

#ffxv

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art-blogge · 4 days

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FGO/PM Mirror-World

Master Candidate number 48. The young man stood in the hallway of Chaldea, almost pouting, having been kicked out of orientation by the Ms. Director. He'd barely gotten to meet one of the other candidates before passing out, and he was being punished for it. That wasn't how things were supposed to go for his first day, but something about it also felt oddly right. The Flow, as he called it, called for him to go elsewhere. The other candidate- What was their name? Dante?- Had suggested he go lay down for a while with a sneer, so he may as well. He could always catch up on the orientation later.

He'd barely gotten to meet Doctor Garnet before alarms blared. Central Command had caught fire, and the Doctor had already run off. Then and there, the young candidate decided to go with him. The Flow be damned. People needed help!

There! In the rubble, Dante's body!

He tried his best to push it off of them, but it was no use. Their head was probably crushed, but they were still moving. As the computer continued to read off scripts, he grabbed Dante's hand. He could at least be there for them, even as everything went black.

He heard a clock in his ear, yet didn't. He heard words, but no voice.

<"Wake up! Do I use the official title?? Master Vergilius?? Wake up before I kill you!">

That woke him up quickly.

"What?"

Dante had a bright red clock for a head with flames completely dissimilar to the fires surrounding them. He forgot what they looked like before, but it wasn't that! The ticking was new, too.

<"Uhm. Sorry, I don't know where that came from!">

They rubbed their neck and turned their entire head to look at the ground. They hadn't been in combat garb earlier… Just lab gear. And were they being… Nicer than before?

<"Please work with me! We have threats coming in!">

According to Dante, they had fused with a Servant at the last moment, but they didn't recall much prior to that. In exchange for their memory, they'd been granted the power of a Servant. Servants needed a Master to survive, and they'd chosen him for their Master.

Him, a Master… A real, proper Master! The things he could change as a Master were countless, to say the least!

They survived, and he was the last Master alive. The fate of the City was on him, now. Him, and the rest of the staff. Doctor Garnet was promoted to Temporary Director, there being almost no one else alive. Despite his cowardice and inexperience, he had the makings of a good leader.

There was Caster Lapis, who he hadn't met before this point. She was brutally honest with him, and he liked that. She was now Second-in-Command, despite being a Servant.

And then there was Dante, who had been following him around like a lost puppy since they'd gotten back. There was nothing anyone was able to do about the memory loss- That'd been their own decision- But they seemed to retain faculties just fine despite the clock.

The Flow didn't stop. It would be followed until it ended.

----

"We're going to settle this now, Dragon Witch!" Ruler Faust cried.

"Shut up! Let's fight!" yelled Faust Alter, "Will despair win, or will hope win? Will murderous intent win, or will pity win? Let's see if you can surpass me, Me who gave up everything!"

Hope would win, of course. Vergilius was certain of that, and Dante resolutely stood by his side. They would win. The Flow continued on."

----

Are you going to stand in my way?" the opposition named Jia Huan calmly asked, staring Vergilius straight in the eyes.

"That's why we're here."

"I'll stand in your way as well," the still-living Hong Lu agreed, brandishing his spear. "The world is brimming with beauty. Flowers, songs, jade, love… And you'd destroy it all? Isn't that wasteful?"

Dante was still by his side, chained shield at the ready. They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

The enemy mage, the crazed Captain Ahab, had overwritten her last crewmate with the Identity of a Demon, and it now towered over them all with its hundreds of eyes on it's pallid body. Queequeg was no more, replaced with the monstrosity of the sea.

"If it can be hit, it can be defeated!," Captain Ishmael (Rider) declared, reloading her pistol. She could see it's heart, and she knew that it was her true target- Not the pathetic mage that summoned it.

"Come, Dante! This is our last battle together!"

She clapped her free hand on Dante's armored shoulder, a wide grin on her face.

"This is it! Be brave! Laugh those fears away! "

"Let's go, Dante!" Vergilius announced, pointing at their enemies.

<"Yes, Master! Commencing correction!">

They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

"Something is manifesting!" Dr. Garnet warned, "Something" is coming! It's an unknown phenomenon! Not a Servant manifestation! Unknown? No, it's actually more like a Rayshift? But that's impossible. Only we have that technology!"

Next to Vergilius, Dante shivered despite their coat.

<"Senpai, something's wrong here. I can't detect anything, but I'm freezing.">

Before them, the true enemy approached, wrapped in shadow. Vergil's companions of the Singularity all flinched away… And moments later, a branch had beheaded the nearest one.

Beside them, Saber Gregor cried out and threw himself at the manifestation that had named itself "Solomon". A single entity swatted him aside as easily as one would a fly.

"The only one that interests me here is the one with the clock," Solomon stated plainly. "Out of respect for your pure heart, I'll only bring four of them here with me. Show me everything you can do."

They wouldn't win, but they would survive. The Flow continued on.

----

"Let's get it started," the Effloresced man stated, his scythe at the ready.

"You don't intend to hand over the Bough, do you?" Assassin Yi Sang asked, already knowing the answer. His knife was already prepared for combat.

"Of course not. It's time to harvest the rewards I've rightfully earned. The past will be replaced."

Vergilius didn't need to be told that this was the final battle of the Singularity. Beside him, Dante stood as always.

<"Let's go, Vergil! Bring us victory again!">

They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

"I have this duty to stop you!" yelled out Heathcliff, brandishing the sword that would soon end his life. "As the Heathcliff that will end this accursed cycle! You won't take my Catherine from me, you fake deity twat!"

The opposing Catherine in white simply tilted her head as if she didn't understand. She didn't understand why Heathcliff had tears running down his face, or why she was being opposed. This was for everyone, wasn't it?

"Give me your final orders, Sir Vergilius! Let us end this. No one else should have to go through this."

Vergil looked at the ground briefly, then back to Heathcliff. Neither of them knew that Heathcliff would become a Servant after this by the will of the river deity, but this had to be done.

"If that's what you want to do, we're with you."

<"I'll do anything to help you, my Heathcliff!"> Dante chimed in, holding the burnt Holy Bough like a weapon, <"Our final enemy here is Ever'y Catherine! Let's finish correcting this mansion, Master!">

They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

"From the fiery abyss, I come, and only death do I bring. My name is Ryoshu, and you will be part of my canvas."

"I can't believe this!," Dr. Garnet chimed in from communications, pushing Lapis off screen entirely, "It's able to be killed now! Now, now! Vergilius, now is the time!"

"We've found the weakness!" Lapis announced offscreen, "It's the head! That Abnormality's weak point is in it's head!

"And now that she knows that she is mortal, she is fleeing," Grand Caster Meursault added, the tiniest smile gracing his usually stone-cold face. "Now is the time. This is the last chance we get. The storm is closing in. We can speak later. Prepare to fight."

<"Of course, Sir! This is the final battle of the Seventh Singularity! This is for all our friends who believed in us, and for King Outis! Let's do whatever's necessary to defeat that ALEPH!">

"Of course!"

On the sidelines, Mistress Rodion had finally regained control over her icy underworld. She willingly gave full permission to fight for the first, and possibly last time. Humanity would survive this.

They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

"Be careful, Vergilius! He's right in front of you!" crowed Lapis over the comms, panicked.

"I know," Vergilius responded, watching the false Solomon approach. "Solomon", true name Jumsoon, slowly strode up to him despite the failure of his lab, fully Distorted.

"We've both lost everything here," Vergilius plainly stated, holding Dante's shield at the ready. Garnet had sacrificed himself moments before to foil Hermann's plot, and Dante had been incinerated saving Vergilius' life. He barely had any reason to want to go on, but failing to would be a waste of the sacrifices.

"Everything here has been a waste, yes," Jumsoon agreed, his tail irritibly flicking about.

"I am all that remains here. There's nothing left but for one of us to be hung on the portrait wall, and the other to live. …My sworn enemy. My hatred. My destiny. I want you to witness this. This brief moment is now my story. This brief but precious time has given the creature called Jumsoon true life."

With all he wanted said, Jumsoon Effloresced.

Of course he won, and the Flow directed Vergilius to the Rayshift point. He wasn't going to make it-

<"Master, take my hand!!">

They both survived. They had won, and yet… The Flow did not stop.

Oh. OH.

With one success, a new threat emerged, wiping all progress and the City with it. The only survivors were "The Red-Gaze" Vergilius, Shielder Dante, and a few crew members. All Servants had been wiped away. Lapis had been killed in combat.

She'd predicted this and left a clone of herself to act in her stead, codenamed Charon. Charon's job was to drive New Chaldea's transportation- Named the Mephistopheles by Faust- to clear this new threat.

"This drags," Lancer Rodion complained from her seat, filing her axe.

<"HOW ARE YOU HERE?!"> Dante screamed, jumping so high that they nearly escaped their bandages.

"A bunch of us are," Rodion laughed, gesturing to the door at the back.

As Vergilius threw it open, a bunch of Servants they'd befriended poured out and ganged around him.

"Sir Vergilius! Tis fortunate to see you again!" yelled the Lancer Don Quixote of the second Sub-Singularity. She was so loud he couldn't hear anyone else.

<"You guys made it!!"> Dante cheerfully rang over her, and the Servants started to gang them instead.

Vergilius sighed in relief. Not everything was lost yet. It had come very close, but there was still some hope. They would win. The Flow continued on.

----

It was so, so hard. Millions of people killed just to restore the City they knew. The deaths were on Vergilius' hands. It didn't feel worth it to be a Grand Master with a title anymore. He never wanted this, but the Flow never stopped. He had to, they all had to Sin to get back the world they knew.

Next to him as always, Dante rested their head against his shoulder. They didn't need to speak. Vergilius knew what they were going to say. That they could do it. That everything would be right in the end.

Vergilius was so, so jaded compared to when he'd started, and yet… He knew they were right. It would end eventually. The Flow hadn't stopped, so they would win. They would survive, no matter what.

#writing tag #limbus company #vergilius #dante lcb #fgo

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mochi-munchies · 2 months

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BlueBerror Context in EotU

If you don't mind being spoiled the plot of Echoes of the Unseen then feel free to proceed.

Let me give y'all some context regarding my beloved little BlueBerror in this AU/fanfic idea of mine. So as usual in UTMV fanfics, Blue is introduced to the readers as a ingenuous, kind, and cheerful monster who is allied/friends with Dream, and often helps him fight back against Nightmare and Error in their 'Star Sanses' group.

In Error's memories/interludes, we see how Blue was kidnapped by Error once-upon-a-time (those who know, you know), yet instead of being fearful or angry from the way Error justified his actions with his cynical world-view, Blue expresses pity for Error, stating that he perhaps only needs a friend in his isolation. And while Blue is genuine in his statement and belief, in reality he is also meaning to emotionally manipulate Error into letting him go (bc my man Blue is optimistic not a fucking idiot.)

Of course, Error being the paranoid manbaby he is, catches on to Blue's intent to take advantage of his loneliness/affection-starvation and impulsively abandons him in the anti-void after lashing out (so basically follows the Ask-Error-Sans canon up to this point).

Blue glitches out after some time and manages to escape from the anti-void by his own power, and immediately goes on the search for his family. However, Blue quickly discovers that his world has been left abandoned after Error destroyed the majority of it and after a goose-chase, finds that his family has since moved on without him. Heartbroken but not completely discouraged, Blue then seeks out Dream and Ink. Because surely, his friends haven't forgotten about him, and would surely have a solution to his predicament?

Not quite. Blue manages to track them down (its been quite some time since he's been kidnapped after all) only to find that he's been 'replaced' by another Underswap Sans, and he becomes devastated.

This is when Blue comes to understand the cynical world-view that Error preached while they were together, and simultaneously becomes disillusioned with his own optimistic ideals.

Blue nearly falls into a similar spiral of madness that Error had underwent as he struggles to comprehend his loss of identity and meaning, however realizes he still has one thing left; being Error's friend.

Blue - now christened as BlueBerror (BB), returns to Error, who reacts to his transformation with discomfort, wariness, and guilt. BB however, reassures Error that even after going through all of this, he still did not hate him, and wanted to be friends with him. He even thanks Error for making him come to reality, acknowledges and apologizes for trying to emotionally manipulate him before, and avows that now that they were more similar to each other, they could be true friends. Error, feeling too guilty to turn him down, allows BB to stay and accepts his friendship.

As BB stays with Error, he develops a bitter envy and hostility towards the multiverse, and in his mental instability instilled by his transformation, becomes increasingly passive aggressive, manipulative, and possessive towards Error - as he has now based his entire sense of self and purpose on being Error's friend.

So, when Error starts to become close to Nightmare, BB views it as a threat to his place as Error's one and only friend, and starts to interfere with their relationship by inspiring Error to isolate himself from others, feeding his paranoia, and manipulating him. (General toxic behavior, emotional manipulating and gaslighting, y'know, all that shit.)

#undertale #utmv #fanfiction #undertale fanfiction #blueberror #EotU #utmv fanfic #shitpost #character concept

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xenodelic · 2 years

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Physical Shifting: An Alternate Perspective

We had a discussion recently with a fellow alterhuman who was struggling to find a term to accurately describe the types of shifts they experience. And as they explained, they made some excellent points about the way that community terminology around shifting intentionally excludes any mention of the physical aspects whatsoever.

And this, of course, is for understandable reasons. P-shifting groups have been known to use the promise of transformation to control and manipulate others. Thus "physical shifting" has become inextricably associated with the act of something that is widely understood to be impossible - that being the complete and utter alteration of one's entire anatomy (or at least of significant parts of the body).

There have been many descriptions of the different types of shifts that alterhumans can experience; mental, phantom, sensory, spiritual, etc (as well as the lesser known berserker and vardjur shifts).

But something we've noticed that the community has shied away from describing some of the ways that shifting can impact your physical body. Some examples may include:

Goosebumps / body hair standing on end

Pupils dilating or constricting

Muscles tensing, twitching, involuntary movements

Changes in voice or vocalizations (even vocalizing in registers that are not normally accessible)

Changes in sensory perception (more focused hearing or sight, more sensitive to touch, even sometimes loss of certain senses)

Soreness or aching due to human posture that does not align with one's alterhuman body type

Changes in breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, etc

And this is a non-exhaustive list! All of these are "side effects" that can come about from several types of shifts, in varying intensities.

And these are actual, physiological changes that are happening in the body as a result of a shift. Most may be psychosomatic, but that doesn't mean they are not "real" - in fact, many are quite easy to observe and document.

To be clear: These sorts of side effects have been talked about plenty. Its not that they are never discussed, its that people seem hesitant to call them what they are: Physical. Real, observable, physical changes of the body.

And while they may be connected to other types of shifts, they are not solely psychological or spiritual. We are being of flesh and blood after all, and the things we experience in our hearts and minds are rarely totally separate from our bodies.

And to be completely honest, I think the only reason we stray away from describing these shifts as physical is because of the actions of certain p-shifting groups. But I don't think we should let the behavior of some people stop us from accurately describing our experiences.

So why not call it what it is? Shifts that result in these sort of effects ARE physical (in some capacity). Perhaps if we want to be more specific, we could call them physiological shifts, or psychosomatic shifts. But either way, we're not going to shy away from it. We experience physical changes in our body as a result of our alterhuman identities - and we're going to call it what it is!

#alterhuman #otherkin #nonhuman #therian #shifting

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mousegard · 4 months

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Aria of the Black Eagle - Season 1 Masterpost

For the better part of the past year, fifteen-year-old Tachibana Hibiki has been the one and only wielder of the magical armor Gungnir—until she crosses paths with an imperious young woman willing to make the entire world her enemy in the pursuit of justice... Adrestian emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg and her Black Eagle Strike Force!

Wait, that's not how Symphogear G went down...

With the Church of Seiros repelled from Garreg Mach by the Black Eagle Strike Force, Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg's war for the liberation of Fódlan reaches its turning point. But just as she begins to plan her next move to attack Arianrhod, she and several of her closest comrades find themselves whisked away by a mysterious force to a world like nothing they've seen before: mid-21st century Tokyo!

SYMPHOGEAR G''' Episode List:

Episode 1: Three Relics

Hibiki comes to the rescue of the Black Eagles when they inexplicably find themselves in the middle of Tokyo. Byleth wins a new job in an arm-wrestling competition.

Episode 2: Of Course You Have White Hair and Trauma

Byleth pits students against teachers in a relic-versus-relic mock battle. Chris gets roped into hosting an impromptu movie night. Edelgard finds a mentorship opportunity.

Episode 3: Singer, Sacrist, Sentinel, Spy

With an exciting development in Tsubasa's career drawing nearer, mystery swirls around her soon-to-be fellow performer, Maria Cadenzavna Eve. The Black Eagles assist in transporting a dangerous relic.

Episode 4: Parabellum

The world reels from Maria's shocking announcement while Tsubasa is held hostage onstage over her secret identity. Backstage, Bernadetta gets to know her captors.

Episode 5: The Second Coming of Finé

Maria's declaration of war leaves the Black Eagles and their new students shaken. Byleth decides to teach Hibiki a new subject. On her way to Tokyo, Petra flirts with the Illuminati's top brass.

Episode 6: Pride of the Crimson Flower

Those Who Slither in the Dark reveal themselves, putting Hibiki and Miku in grave danger. Bernadetta accidentally gets caught up in a fake gay marriage after her captors buy a house.

Episode 7: Crossbows in the Firelight

A third Gungnir wielder reveals herself in the Black Eagles' moment of need. While organizing an exchange with Maria and Doctor Ver, Vanessa must act as an impromptu bodyguard for her new neighbors.

Episode 8: Die Hand Die Verletzt

While she adjusts to her new life and identity, Heidrun begins Miku's dark magic training. When Doctor Ver pushes Maria past her moral breaking point, Dorothea offers her a shoulder to cry on.

Episode 9: Heart of Stone

After receiving devastating news from her boss, Vanessa vanishes. Doctor Ver exchanges his frail human collaborators for the cruel perfection of the Nephilim. Lysithea reunites Bernadetta with the Black Eagles.

Episode 10: A Long-Awaited Reunion

While the Black Eagle Strike Force reunites, Bernadetta gives Vanessa something new to live for. Lysithea and Edelgard discover a new scientific perspective on Crests. Kirika figures something terrifying about herself.

Episode 11: Where Silence Has Lease

Stinging from past defeats, Maria throws herself into her villainous role. Hibiki and Shirabe end up unlikely allies against Kronya and Shez. Hibiki's mother begins to worry about her daughter's mysterious extracurricular activities.

Episode 12: Across the Curl Unmarked By Borders

Fearing she may not have much time before Finé seizes control of her body, Kirika hunts Ingrid down and challenges her to a rematch—to the death. Maria breaks down under the weight of her mounting losses.

Episode 13: G'''

Doctor Ver reveals his new partner in crime—and it will take more than the combined might of all three Gungnir wielders to put a stop to them.

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3

#fanfiction #crossover #fire emblem three houses #symphogear

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moltengoldveins · 2 months

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personal favorite headcanon: totems don’t just ‘heal’ you. They fill every scar, every open wound, with gold. They knit you back together Wrong, and it doesn’t just extend to the injury that killed you, it knows Everything. Even long-faded scars are back, brighter and bigger than they were when they first healed, shimmering bronze in the green light of resurrection. They’re a soul-deep instance of the craft of kinsugi: you come back better, in one sense of the word, but you do not come back the same, and whatever dictates ‘better’ does not care to hide or soften your history of suffering like your body does. Every loss, every slip, every pain is magnified and glorified, until they are all most people can see of you. You become, in entirety, what you have survived. Your death becomes your identity. (Are you really even revived?)

Elaboration on my personal favorite headcanon: Techno’s execution was the first time he’d ever had to use a totem. He’s an old thing, be he god or man: he’s never died. But he has fought. He has fallen. He has held himself together with cloth and rage, and afterwards Philza has had to stitch stray pieces of flesh together until they once again resemble his dearest friend. Most of his injuries are old enough for the evidence to have faded from the surface: they are not old enough for the totem to pass them by. For a moment, when the anvil fell, he looked like he was made of gold entirely, a figure of divine fire. He barely faded when the light did: every inch of his skin laced through with shimmering lines. One of his eyes was crushed in the execution: it glows yellow now, alongside its red partner. Quackity fought a man made of metal, and died watching him bleed ichor instead of blood (long healed bones, deep tissue tears… his heart, crushed by his rib cage when the anvil ground his body to pulp. the gold took everything, even the blood his chorus chants for.)

Tommy has to take a moment to recognize Techno: he doesn’t have to hear the story to know what the Butchers managed to do.

Philza spends a hundred winter nights replaying that moment on the balcony, one futile arrow shattered against the falling iron, half of his soul consumed in green and gold. He spends a hundred more laughing, pressed to Techno’s side, naming each glittering cut, recalling their origin. Neither of them remember what Techno looked like scarless. That is, of course, the whole point.

When Doomsday comes, the first sign of death is a burning figure, tall and bright and cast in gold under a blood red sky, standing amidst a sea of black hounds.

#technoblade #mcyt #headcanons #it’s about death being permanent even when it’s not #It’s about losing what made you alive #Becoming your death #embodying it to the point where you might as well BE dead #A walking testament to every single thing you’ve ever suffered.#If nobody can actually see you beneath the gold #Are you even there?#If nobody can see past what you have suffered to who you ‘are’#If your very flesh is made a sign of loss #Are you anything else? Can you be anything else?#Further than that it’s about a character who Already Is in every way a testament to suffering #Who’s clothes and voice and skills and habits and beliefs are there to facilitate death #there to serve a chorus of bloody hounds.#Does the totem change him? Does it actually do anything?#Or does it merely make him more of what he already was?

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itsadragonaesthetic · 1 year

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Ok I would like to informally rant about my Opinions of the Jurassic Park novel.

Surface level stuff: Jurassic Park is not about "resurrecting dinos bad" and I'm tired of pretending it is. The entire park was automated. From the electric motor vehicles, the "tour guides", the entertainment, the care for the animals, even the genetic sequencing had little to no human supervision. I fucking HATE that scene in the movie where everyone is like "dinosaurs were CHOSEN for extinction and you're challenging god himself and you will now receive punishment! This is going to fuck up because resurrecting dinos bad!" that scene just wormed its way into the fucking public psyche and I refuse to contract your brain worms. The park was shit because there was no human workforce and they didn't have any specialists for literally anything. They never planned safety precautions or even asked if any of the plants are poisonous. If a normal ass zoo did what Jurassic Park did, it would probably fail just as gloriously. Not to mention Jurassic Park wasn't just a zoo! It was a fully integrated nature reserve with its own artificial ecosystem, a theme park, AND a resort! Ian Malcom thoroughly explains in the book what he ACTUALLY means by "chaos theory". It's not some weird magical math that makes dinosaurs eat people. It's an observation of the inherent unpredictability of the universe. You can do everything in your power to prevent a tiger from escaping its enclosure, but you should still plan for it to do so. Because anything can and does happen. Ian knew Jurassic Park would fail because the whole thing was a shitshow with WAY to many elements working together with literally no supervision or safety precaution.

Am I done there? Have I proven my point? Maybe, but I wanna go higher. I think the author's own vision for his themes are fucking stupid and isn't even the point of the book.

Because you see, Crichton's basic message for the audience was "genetic power bad" and he is WRONG. Let me explain.

First of all, the reason I know this was the original point of the book is because it's a horror book written in a time when people were beginning to become skeptical and maybe understandably afraid of the speed of scientific innovation. It opens with scary ideas that in the next decade, it will become normal for people to get genetic implants to smell like their favorite perfume and other such things. It then gives imaginary but frighteningly possible examples of what could be done with genetic power. Genetically engineered pets and air-borne rabies to name a few. The dinosaurs are scary of course, but the real horror comes from that gross feeling of a loss of identity and faith when you are presented with the idea of your traits and personality being edited like code in a computer.

However! This is not how I see it. I think Jurassic Park's ultimate downfall is capitalism. Every single thing that happens is because Hammond is trying to make a quick buck, and he is willing to completely disregard the chaotic nature of uh... nature, to achieve immeasurable wealth.

I love this book but in a selfish way that disregards the intentions of the author. Fuck capitalism and give me my fucking pet dinosaur (bird) and my gene-editing virus to get rid of my lactose intolerance.

#and by pet dino i mean my bird :3 #my posts #rant #dragon speaks #jurassic park

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1yyyyyy1 · 4 months

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do u consider urself a collectivist? I may be wrong but i thought a more spiritual approach to female separatism is inherently individualistic or maybe a perfect amalgamation of both individualism and collectivism. I may not verbalize this correctly but after being in collectivist spaces for years I’ve realized that it just is not compatible with spirituality that seeks to transcend the ego because if we kick down jacobs ladder and worship common ground rather than accepting that some people are better and that we should use their presence effectively by striving to be like those better people in constant evolution / motion, then we’ll just be unhappy reactive egotistical apes on survival mode who believe chemicals and instincts rule humanity, or believe that we have no free will at all, which u hint at disagreeing with because u believe some women make the wrong decisions that make life harder for all women… what do u think?

I didn't know what collectivism was until you mentioned it, so no, I don't consider myself a collectivist. I think I know which post you are referring to and I used the word "individualism" there to simply describe an individual prioritizing themselves. I guess it was about time I admitted that I'm not very invested in social or political terms and I don't know why it didn't occur to me that "individualism" could have an antonym to it.

I'm not entirely sure what people mean by "transcending" or "overcoming the ego". From what I understand, ego is self-identification and a person's sense of self, and ego loss (or, in some contexts, ego death) is the absence of personal identity. I've tried learning more about this and what I noticed was that the people who claimed to have experienced ego loss and swore by its effectiveness still often referred to themselves using the construct "I am" and all kinds of labels, and I to this day don't know whether people like that don't believe in ego loss's viability themselves or if it's a futile concept altogether. I see ego (or what I understand it to be) as the acknowledgment of the tools you were given to experience the world and I find it very useful in that sense; for example, when I engage in self-identification and say that I'm bisexual, I'm making myself aware of the fact that my dating pool includes both sexes or that I experience sexuality as a spectrum, and it's a much more succinct way to describe your inclinations than detailing the actions the label implies over and over again. Even if "transcending the ego" is something entirely different and is efficient in a way that I am not aware of, I would still not be sold on the idea that it could ever be the ultimate source of enlightenment. I believe in LOA and its omnipotence, so I see submitting to other metaphysical principles as contradictory since my mind could render them ineffective if I wanted so.

And yes, I've always thought that spirituality was a highly individual(istic) practice. This comes down to the fact that some people's spiritual practices are overbearing to me and I could never bring myself to be around them for too long, which I don't have a problem with because I'm all for people maintaining firm boundaries — including myself — and because there certainly are people out there who find my beliefs too annoying to deal with as well. I would describe the spiritual experience that is the most beneficial to an individual as "uncompromising", so that leaves little room for the collective's input... Unless the collective's goal is to wear out its members, of course.

#ask #LOA

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interviewwithademon · 9 months

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Loss, and Everything that Comes with: A Short Vignette

TMC squad, how're we doing tonight

I am doing Not Well and neither is Adam so I wrote a lil poem in the second person, please enjoy

Loss follows you everywhere you go.

Your life is a series of dances, stumbling around the unavoidable chasm in your heart that tells you everyone you love will leave, a gaping maw of fear that only grows with each passing day.

You’re a child when it begins- when long arms gather you to a cold, unmoving chest in the dead of night, Mama’s scream echoing off tile as you’re whisked away from your entire world.

You come back wrong, different; the world feels muted where it once was vibrant, and Mama is no longer there to coax the warmth from the hearth so the house grows frost. Dad rarely talks on the days he bothers to be home; you learn quickly how to tie your own shoes and sign your own report cards, and then one day he vanishes too.

You’re sixteen years old and an orphan, abandoned to an overloaded system that struggles to stay afloat so when you slip away at midnight there is no one left to chase after you, no one to care what happens to the sad boy with the big blue eyes. You stumble back home, managing to find your way up stairs that threaten to cave in and curl up in the spot that Mama’s bed once rested.

You make friends classmates who look at you with the same concern that the foster families once did, eyes a mix of worry and pity that makes your stomach churn uncomfortably so you drift away from them too. It’s for their own good, you tell yourself as the shadows of everyone you’ve driven off merge into one ominously looming figure in your mind. I’m cursed.

Maybe it’s true: one sticks around, determined to make you smile, forever ready with a joke and a kind gaze that doesn’t pity you but sees you instead; you tell him about your club and he matches your passion with a zest of his own, and when he pulls out a camcorder to document your adventures you can’t help but give him the grin he works ceaselessly to achieve.

You feel like a moth to flame; like his easy camaraderie has chipped away at the ice block surrounding your core, hope returning like pins and needles to a sleeping limb. For once, you think of a brighter future: one of maturity, of taking the job at the local videography store and falling into rhythm that slowly echoes your own heartbeat.

You’re wrong, of course, you always are; permanence and you mix like oil and water, your heavy weight of guilt dragging you into the murky depths as your friend looks down in disappointment. He pleads with his eyes for you to swim but you never learned how so instead you sink, plummeting deeper and deeper until the waves feel foreign yet familiar, a flickering screen replaying memories you wished had remained buried.

As quickly as he’d come, he’s gone once more. Where you’d once had a shield of frost to protect your delicate heart there instead exists only the wound, exposed and raw to all the guilt that hits you (it’s not the same, you refuse to let yourself feel victimized; how much emotional pain could equate to the wreckage of His car, His life, Your Friend-). You sink to your knees in the kitchen, the same coating of rime that’s mirrored in the shell you once called a heart.

You’re alone once more, or maybe you always were; the reflection in the tile isn’t one you recognize anymore, skin sagging in a horrifically inhumane way and even you have left you behind; your identity has slipped away like the hoodie that lays discarded on the floor, across from an obituary for a short boy with warm eyes that forever haunt you when you close your own.

It sits in its own misery, staring at the picture of its dead best friend for an indeterminable amount of time; there’s no one left to chase after it anymore, after all, and it’s lost inside the slowly spiraling mind of a monster.

#I have a lot of thoughts if you can't tell #Adam is so scrunkly please let him have One Good Day(TM)#the mandela catalogue #tmc adam #Adam murray #tmc alternate #I'm going to fight Jude Murray myself in an Arby's parking lot #writing #one shot #poem? idk

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khapaleaf · 1 year

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I do enjoy a good [glare silently] kind of character.

The basics

Name: Melissa Newman // No longer remembered Birthdate: March 8, 1971 // ??? Birthplace: St. Georges, somewhere in the United States // Somewhere in the depths of space unknown to humankind Occupation: Bakery assistant (dough maker in more ways than one, bakery clerk, delivery person, pastry cook and more) // Indescribable Love (?) interest: Jonny

Background

Manifesting into existence beyond the confines of the solar system known to the human species, and having seen entire galaxies change and evolve, the ancient cosmic entity whose name is now lost to the ages has hardly lost any interest in engaging in the ever-repeating pattern of hunting and feasting on other dimensional beings even after aeons of doing so. Over the course of its immeasurably long existence it visited many universes which could only be accessed by transcending matter, time and space, and grew fond of a great many hidden galaxies. It would have continued its journey to further solidify its own position as the ultimate and most voracious predator if it were not for a serious miscalculation that nearly cost it its very existence. In a panicked and injured state, it jumped dimensions hoping to regain the necessary energy to restore itself and become whole again.

The being’s arrival on Earth was marked by another disaster – the flesh bag whose body it attempted to use as a temporary means of settlement was unable to handle the overwhelming nature of the cosmic entity, and perished on the spot. Salvation was not impossible however, as it was able to use its remaining strength to make another jump into a much smaller casket. What it was did not matter, but fortunately for the cosmic being, the tiny body showed no sign of resistance.

Its first few years on Earth were decidedly turbulent, in no small part due to the casket’s physical limitations. Grief-stricken by the loss of its essence and identity, and enraged by the circumstances it had found itself in, it proved itself to be a right handful under the guise of Melissa Newman. To an outside observer, the casket was a quiet but easily agitated child, one that watched her surrounding world warily and threw violent tantrums – sometimes when people prodded too intensely, other times just to see their reaction. All the while, the entity inhabiting the developing human casket preferred to watch, listen, and to take the time to truly see and understand the world, and how to navigate it.

Personality

“Your sister is gone. It’s always been me in here”.

To the uninitiated observer, Melissa is a quiet and guarded woman whose usual repertoire typically ranges from rigid to apathetic to courteous but detached when interacting with others. She is described by many as being closed-off both on an emotional and physical level, and indeed does not like, and shies away from, any unnecessary contact. While reticent, Melissa has a heavy presence and can easily come off as severe owing to her eerie and intense nature. She is often perceived as intimidating (and even actively works towards being seen as such), which can render interaction with others difficult without either causing an unpleasant misunderstanding or a feeling that the other is being pulverised on the spot.

Despite not being particularly adept at communication, she possesses a gift of keen observation, and is usually able to pick up on the underlying mood in a room or sense the emotions of another person. After years of practice, she finds it nearly effortless to work out what kind of emotional response is needed depending on the context and situation – sometimes these responses are genuine and unbidden, other times they are based on unwritten rules of how one should feel and behave. But dealing with her own emotions is trickier. She is easily flustered and overwhelmed when confronted by her own emotions and usually tries to deal with them by either rejecting them completely, or pushing them away to deal with at a later date. Also, she is hilariously bad at “being normal” about romance-related things, but she is trying her best.

Melissa is patiently and constantly surveying her surroundings, and is quick to size up a situation and its potential dangers. On the whole, she is very sceptical of seemingly well-meaning people and peaceful circumstances, and generally does not take anything at face value. However, when her anxiety kicks in, Melissa is prone to acting impulsively, which, more often than not, leads to unfavourable outcomes. Still, she is quite tenacious and stubborn, and refuses to give up and admit defeat even in the bleakest of circumstances. It would be a mistake to believe that she is a fearless individual, however.

For the majority of her time on Earth, she rarely finds causes that she can identify with, or that prompt her empathy outside of her immediate goal of gathering enough energy. If asked, she would likely reply that the food was the one thing that had kept her sane throughout the years. But the truth of the matter is that she is genuinely curious about other people’s stories – at first because she wants to alleviate the boredom of being stuck on Earth, but after a while because she wants to find something to relate to and to understand how others function. This curiosity also played a big part in making her see the possibilities that her new life may bring instead of regretting the choices that brought her there.

Likes: the sky at night, solitude, following a daily routine, comfortable socks, food with lots of spices for extra flavour, the aroma of freshly baked goods, obscure films (listening to Jonny talk about obscure films, more like) Dislikes: dwelling on unpleasant memories, feeling exposed, narrow or tight spaces, talkative customers, “bodily functions”, hospitals, unsolicited opinions

Miscellaneous

She pays little attention to the casket’s gender beyond seeing it as a marker or an anchor similar to her human name – it is something that grounds her in her current reality, but in truth human language is not an adequate tool to express the nuance and extent of her experience. Yet since she does not have strong opinions about it either way, it is very much a “I am a woman sure, but whatever” kind of feeling.

She is generally neutral about sex as a concept, but is completely disinterested in trying it out for herself. There are no conditions that would change her stance on this because she perceives this lack of interest to be an important part of her very being, and going against it for the sake of following some sort of script deemed socially acceptable by humans would be akin to betraying herself.

She does not like looking or shopping for new items of clothing, and has a tendency to wear clothes long after others would discard them. Specifically, she does not like how new clothes feel too restrictive, and is irritated by tags, thick seams, and itchy synthetic materials.

While she finds the buzzed feeling from drinking alcohol to be enjoyable, she lacks the capacity to tell how much alcohol is enough to achieve that state without overindulging. As a result of having had made a fool of herself on several occasions, she typically avoids drinking altogether, unless she finds herself in an environment she can fully control (which usually translates to sipping on an alcoholic beverage in the comfort of her room).

Even though she is able to experience a wide range of emotions, she rarely uses any kind of inflection to express them and speaks in a monotone voice (sounds similar to R. Dorothy Wayneright in the English dub).

Stats!

#the passenger #interactive fiction #gotta have tentacles #not the japanese kind though #anyway i just had to get the parasite out of my system #tried to sketch something out but it was an utter disaster #i'll need to watch some more youtube tutorials before making another attempt lol #but this was very fun to do actually

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the-gateway-to-madness · 3 months

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Mm i think i figured out why 3below is my favorite, followed by wizards, and then th

because for me, a beloved franchise involves two factors: emotional relatability, backed by a story that engages me personally.

In Trollhunters the emotional arcs are about identity, and dealing with types of trauma that aren't even really possible, and while I adore the characters and empathize with them deeply, there's a certain disconnect because of how unrealistic all the conflicts are, or perhaps because I haven't been through anything similar or smthn basic like that idk

In 3Below, the coup and bounty hunters and fighting are a backdrop for grief and loss, betrayal, anguish, and forced character growth, all of which are themes that hit me hard. In particular, the fact that 3Below goes out of its way to make the losses and betrayals feel really, really _inevitable_. Of course Aja and Krel's parents sacrifice themselves for them. Of course Varvatos betrayed House Tarron before he ever bonded so closely with Aja and Krel- all I can think when his need for revenge comes up is 'he had a kid or kids, I can just tell, and he lost them and he's been utterly blinded'. Of course he's torn apart by it and then so are Aja and Krel. Of course Varvatos would try to sacrifice the previous generation of royals rather than let Akiridion's future king and queen die. Of course Aja and Krel take it as another betrayal, and of course their parents sacrifice themselves anyway- you get it.

That pain is inescapable in 3Below. And there's a terrible, wrenching catharsis in that. It feels like real grief. It feels human.

Similarly, Douxie is entirely alone in the world, holding a life together, desperate for the care and approval of someone who won't give it, not getting those until he's pushed himself not to need them anymore. He's been abandoned at least once by Merlin, if not by his parents pre-series. Magic cannot take away the void that was left in him.

Trollhunters had its moments of deep and true grief, yes, and I mourn them as much as anyone. But with that much magic around, death feels less human and more like a barrier to reach across, and it colors that loss in a way that makes it a little less personal for me, I don't know. So much feeling is caused by something magic or could be somehow changed magically in Trollhunters. Idk i'm going to sleep now

#tales of arcadia

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bookoftheironfist · 2 years

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Hi! I was wondering why Danny isn't Iron fist anymore? I only read the Power Man and Iron Fist 2016 run, I mostly know him from crossover events. I know he's not Iron fist anymore because he says so in Devil's reign. Did he lose his power?

Hi! That's a great question, though also a point of frustration for Iron Fist fans right now so I'll try not to editorialize too much. The very short answer is: Yes, he did lose his power. More accurately, he gave it up. The long (very long-- sorry) answer is this:

Danny Rand has been Iron Fist since the tender age of nineteen, when he successfully bested the dragon Shou-Lao the Undying and passed the test of the Many and the One, etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda. His journey in that role has been tumultuous-- as is true of all superheroes, and indeed all Iron Fists. He has had many highs, many lows, many struggles with his identity and sense of self-worth. He has had the chi of Shou-Lao stolen from him a few times, he has been unable to prevent attacks on K'un-Lun, and these are all things that he has suffered through and that have allowed him to grow as an Immortal Weapon. They come with the territory, and part what has made Danny such a compelling character has been watching that growth over what is now almost 50 years of comics, from an angry, traumatized, murder-bent teenager into a (still flawed but) compassionate and powerful warrior-- a respected superhero on Earth and a champion for his people.

In 2017's Iron Fist volume 5 (which is excellent-- I highly recommend it), Danny went through a very difficult character arc. He found himself losing confidence in himself as the Iron Fist, which manifested in a weakening of his powers. This was terrifying for him. His entire identity was, and always had been, tied to that role.

Danny (caption): "If I'm no longer Iron Fist, champion of K'un-Lun...then who am I? ...Nothing." Iron Fist vol. 5 #1 by Ed Brisson, Mike Perkins, Andy Troy, and Travis Lanham

There was a reason for this insecurity. In his previous solo series, Iron Fist: The Living Weapon, Danny's longtime enemy Steel Serpent had recruited an invasion force to attack K'un-Lun, and while there he had murdered his own father, Lei Kung the Thunderer, who was also Danny's master and parental figure. Danny was on Earth, and by the time he knew what was happening in K'un-Lun, he was too late to stop it. That failure and loss took him to a very dark place, and while he was able to save the day by the end of the series, the grief of losing Lei Kung left its mark, resulting in his internal turmoil at the beginning of the 2017 series.

But this low point presented a wonderful narrative opportunity for growth, which was the creative team's goal. Over the course of that series, Danny's identity as the Iron Fist was challenged and attacked again and again by outside forces, placing him in situations where he was forced to prove himself. By the end of that journey, he was reborn-- secure in himself, with a supportive community around him in K'un-Lun and on Earth, eager to face the future as the Iron Fist.

Danny (caption): "I have friends relying on me. And like Orson Randall, I'd lay down my own life to ensure the safety of theirs. I'd allowed myself to become filled with doubt. About my place. My role. I'd lost touch with my chi. My identity. But no longer. I am Daniel Rand. The Iron Fist. A living weapon. Champion of K'un-Lun. And it feels great to be back." Iron Fist vol. 5 #80 by Ed Brisson, Damian Couceiro, Andy Troy, and Travis Lanham

The next Iron Fist solo comic was a mini-series called Iron Fist: Heart of the Dragon. In it, Danny, the other Immortal Weapons, Luke Cage, and Danny's student/successor/basically daughter Pei (more on her later) had to battle creatures that were attacking the Capital Cities of Heaven. Pretty typical stuff, no big deal, a regular Tuesday for Danny and the gang. At the end of that series, after the day had been saved, Danny turned to his friends and said, "You know what? I'm a bad Iron Fist. I'm going to give the dragon chi back and quit." (I'm paraphrasing, obviously...but not much.)

On a story level, it came out of nowhere. There was no exploration of or set-up for it in the series, and as I mentioned, the previous run's entire purpose had been restoring Danny's faith in himself and making him a stronger, better, more confident and at peace Iron Fist. On an in-universe level it was equally jarring. Danny's predecessor, Orson Randall, had quit being the Iron Fist because he couldn't handle the violence anymore due to having PTSD from fighting on the front lines of World War I, and he was publicly disgraced and hunted for it. This is not like working at Walmart. You don't just casually quit being a champion of a Capital City of Heaven. It would be seen as intensely disrespectful to the title, the legacy, and to K'un-Lun-- a dereliction of duty-- and Danny would know that.

But I digress.

As I mentioned, Danny had (and still has) a protegée/adopted daughter, kind of, named Pei. She was introduced in Living Weapon, and is a child (her exact age is...a complicated topic) from K'un-Lun. In her introductory series, she ended up acquiring the chi of Shou-Lao in a bit of a freak accident (side note: Danny still had it at the time; multiple people can have it at once). Given the unusual circumstances of her gaining the power without going through the proper tests and preparation, she was sent to live with Danny so that he could give her the necessary training, with the understanding that when the time came, she would become the next Iron Fist. Pei is a very fun character. She was created to be essentially the opposite of Danny: while he was a kid from Earth who moved to K'un-Lun and needed to learn how to fight, Pei was a kid from K'un-Lun who moved Earth and needed to learn how not to fight.

Felicia: "You want to tell Kid Fist over there not to murder my associate?" Danny: "Oh, don't worry about her. She follows a strict path of restraint and balance." Janice: "AAGHH!" Felicia: "Sure, I believe that." Black Cat (2019) #8 by Jed MacKay, Dike Ruan, Annie Wu, Brian Reber, and Ferran Delgado

Pei was great, she was wonderful, she was compelling, she was badass, and she was a perfect future champion of K'un-Lun.

Earlier this year, Marvel announced the next Iron Fist comic: a mini-series, Iron Fist volume 6. Danny was no longer the Iron Fist, so it would not be about him. Logic suggested, then, that it would star Pei. She was his successor. Her time had come-- earlier than expected, but still exciting news.

Instead, the new Iron Fist was announced to be (and now, following the mini-series' conclusion, still is) Lin Lei, a.k.a. Sword Master, a relatively new Marvel character who was introduced in the Warriors of Three Sovereigns comic in 2018. He is a neat character, but a baffling choice for this role, especially over Pei, who had secured her spot as the next Iron Fist almost a decade earlier in Living Weapon. Lin doesn't have any personal connection to K'un-Lun at all, knows nothing about the Iron Fist identity or legacy, and acquired the chi of Shou-Lao because the dragon apparently decided to reach across dimensions and just give it to him, for reasons that have not yet been revealed. His story so far has had very little connection to the Iron Fist mythos and legacy beyond the title, costume, and a few cameos by Iron Fist-relevant characters, feeling instead like a continuation of his Sword Master journey with some dragon chi shenanigans thrown in. Again, Lin is a very cool character and I don't want to disparage him in any way. It's just an odd situation, and frustrating, because it is such a derailment of everything that was set up in the world of Iron Fist over the past decade. Lin most recently appeared in last week's A.X.E. event tie-in, and his future as the Iron Fist, Danny and Pei's future as former Iron Fists, and the future of the comic as a whole, is currently unclear-- though it does seem like Danny might train Lin, which could be fun.

Phew! That was longer than intended, but it should give you a sense of Danny's current situation and the events that led up to it.

#Long post #Iron Fist #Danny Rand #Pei #Messages #Adventures in Continuity

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stigmatvm · 1 year

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ibara and ocd - hc. it's a biggie if you read this to the end ill kiss you on the mouth

It's… impossible to really understand Ibara as a person without, at least, somewhat understanding the impact Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder has on her personality and quality of life, even if it doesn't define him as a person. But the path her logic goes and her compulsions to act are deeply affected by it, and things that may seem nonsensical otherwise begin to fit into the larger picture nicely, if in a way that is frustrating by nature in a different sense.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is, as the name suggests, a disorder characterized by obsessive thought patterns that result in compulsions to avoid or mitigate the anxiety brought on by the obsessive thoughts. It is further broken down into subtypes for organizational purposes, but I'm not going to "classify" all of Ibara's o/c, nor would it be necessary. Most people end up getting a smattering of them all anyways. However, the ones that Ibara most frequently and most passionately endures are Scrupulosity related, both moral and religious (it's hard to have one without the other).

OCD is described occasionally as "a fear of a loss of identity due to a lack of vigilance", which applies well to the idea of scrupulosity OCD. To Ibara, a slip-up in diligent adherence to compulsion and ritual and self discipline is really a matter of damnation or salvation, and does come with the looming fear of being a bad person inherently because of his mess up. Guilt, shame, and fear, while maybe not consciously recognized, drive daily actions and thought patterns. And oftentimes, it can be a snake that eats its own tail; the awareness of how odd his compulsions or responses are can trigger fears of an immoral self in a different way, compounding the issue.

Obsessions can be triggered by both external and internal stimuli, i.e. intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are disruptive thoughts that are repulsive to the haver and feel dissonant to the line of thought, almost as if they weren't your own. They represent your deepest fears and revulsions (not: hidden desires, quirky impulsives-- if the intrusive thoughts won id be dead or in jail you just had an impulse to cut your hair goodnight) and are difficult to shake. Sometimes these can even spiral into long catastrophic mental scenarios playing out over the course of hours, pulling you away from reality. While anyone can have them, it's a frequent and intense symptom of OCD, and Ibara's is no different.

Ibara's intrusive thoughts usually revolve around a few central topics:

harming people, past or future

having lied, knowing or unknowing

blasphemying faith

These themes are the most common, but take on unusual forms frequently, because while the answer to one overarching question may satisfy the sound mind, OCD works differently. Each possibility must be accounted for, no matter how niche, because otherwise you may miss something.

Ibara's obsessions, as mentioned prior, most frequently revolve around scrupulosity, but harm, superstition, false memory, and 'just right' are also common, and they all overlap with each other.

The most obvious example, of course, is Ibara's fixation on lying as a whole. He condemns it entirely, in a way that may come off as extreme to others, and takes extreme measures to avoid it by defining "deception" to include things that we would normally consider to be entirely aboveboard. We see "that deserves a lashing!" as an over-aggressive response to Shishida's strategy, but for Ibara, not responding with the most intense and 'righteous' condemnation is essentially the same as condoning it which is essentially the same as lying which makes her a liar which is both a sin and something bad people do. Identity (being a pious person) lost by lack of vigilance (being complacent in a lie).

Harm as an ocd subset revolves around the idea that you may hurt yourself or other people; and Ibara, having a quirk like he does, is also deeply afraid of the idea that she may injure someone with her thorns. The minority of the injury doesn't matter, it is simply the fact that it could happen that triggers the fear, which is then followed by certain precautions.

Superstition is similar to scrupulosity, but much less related to one's morals-- rather, to the outcome of unknown events. If Ibara does not clean the window sill and doorway with salt water every week, something bad will happen. If you carry this paper cross, you will have good luck. Mental ones, too-- the idea that because she cannot see the future, if he thinks about a possible event, it will automatically no longer happen, which can be good (coping with the idea of a bad situation) or bad (fearing that she's ruined an opportunity). The rules don't necessarily follow any established cultural belief; although certainly influenced by them-- but Ibara must reason through the "rules" of staying safe and keeping others safe, jumping through extra hoops mentally and physically to stave away the debilitating terror that, one day, if he does not do it something terrible may truly happen, and to be so negligent as to allow it is evil.

False Memory, as the name implies, is the obsessive fear that you may have false memories of events or circumstances. Ibara, while a firm believer in his physical senses, has a deep distrust in her own interpretation of things, albeit not for the reasons people may assume. Religious delusions and a somewhat slippery grasp on space+time are secondary to Ibara's worries about understanding other people, what they mean, what they've said, and what they've done. In the moment, it's easy to act, but when looking at the past Ibara feels guilty about carrying negative perceptions of people or even grudges, so he inadvertently convinces himself that he must just be "stupid" instead of having a valid reason for not forgiving, and that something else must have happened.

"Just Right" OCD is harder to put a solid pin in because it's really just a fucking vibe thing. There's a deep dissatisfaction with things, a stress stemming from a feeling that something somewhere is horribly wrong, and you need to adjust whatever it is until it's "just right". For Ibara, this shows in everything from physical labor, to her distaste for math-- Ibara loves to count for the purpose of finding "pleasing" and "good" numbers, and will only do certain things in those numbers-- but math involves multi-step processes that make it difficult to calculate if something is a "good" number or are things that touch perfect, good numbers, which should not be changed. It's a long and frustrating process to try and re-justify every step mentally. She also can't really cope with being interrupted before finishing a task, so even just having to pack up and move to the next class is something that piles on an extra little bit of stress, even if that's more manageable than a larger interruption.

Compulsions are the thoughts and actions one does (and does not do) to mitigate the anxiety around their obsessions. For Ibara, many of them are mental compulsions-- or they're thoughts, not actions one can visibly see. Repeating prayers in her mind, hymns, or even just trying to reason with the mental logic of the obsession are all mental compulsions. Some are verbal, too, including recitation of prayers, hymns, certain words and phrases, using "good speech" via bible allegory, and reassurance seeking.

Reassurance seeking is a type of compulsion often seen in scrupulosity OCD specifically but can show in anywhere the sufferer double and triple checks their thoughts and morals with another person, often trying to talk through a mental checklist of if that thing is 'ok' or not. OCD havers understand their OCD is illogical (although Ibara tries to avoid saying that with her religious ones, as it feels like doubting her faith, which is bad), and so reassurance-seeking is often an embarrassing but necessary compulsion in response to not trusting your own moral character. He knows that asking over and over that you're sure you haven't been scratched is likely bothersome-- but the only alternative is complete and utter misery.

Ibara has physical compulsions, too; counting things, rearranging them, having to finish tasks, ensuring that her handwriting looks a certain way, folding paper crosses, rituals, etc. These tasks very from small to large, and each one serves to try and mitigate fear.

Avoidance is also a compulsion: Ibara avoids any situation where deception may be involved. Ibara avoids even thinking about lying (and when the impulse to lie does come up, that triggers a guilt spiral of its own). Ibara lives by a repetitive schedule, so nothing new can come in and ruin everything. It's the hardest compulsion to catch, because you barely realize you're doing it until confronted.

And Ibara avoids consciously acknowledging these things-- she must when it comes to the forefront of the mind, but he lacks confidence in her own intelligence, so each lapse is either chalked up to being Right (it cant be irrational if you were right!) or being Stupid, as an individual failure to have self-discipline, represented by sobbing over a torn paper cross. These all must be unrelated things, she is in full control of her senses, she is a pious man of God. And because of that, each thing just adds pressure, resulting in more frequent and intense triggerings, and so on. He laments that she didn't used to be this way, internally, but being an anxiety disorder, it's no wonder it got worse after his time in middle school, which she has so readily tried to suppress from memory because of the guilt of living with residual anger and shame and fear. The serpent eats its tail, and he's going to have to confront the issue someday--

but for now, Ibara continues, safe within the strict walls of a moral cloister, a monastery of his own making.

#A LOST LAMB DESCENDS FROM ABOVE++ ;IBARA HC #im sure i missed something because i started falling asleep but. heres my doozy of a meta

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