#and like i gave to fucking fight for help so i dont feel like this.
Text
.
#deciding fuvk it il#kms within the next week#bc im Literally Asking for Help from people without begging for it.#and im twlling people how i feel and no one seems to fuckimg GET IT or they keep . brushing me off#like i feel like im beimg swallowed by a black hole. and iys threatenung to consume me fully#but ita fine right !!!#im not actibely depressed !!! im just suicidal#whats fucked is that i wasnt suicifsl for months n now i am and . no one cares lol#and im tired. sp fucking tired and over feelijg like this#and like i gave to fucking fight for help so i dont feel like this.#and i dont . want killing myself to be the option i have. but . i either jeep downplaying how much pain im in#or no one actually gives a shit enough to like . care.#so its fine.#im determined to make it tjrougj august wuthout an attempt bc itll b my first aug sunce 2017 whete i HAVENT#or 2018#whuchrber it is#but . i am not gonna lie i literally cant keep going anymore#this is a cycle atp and i want out of it bc its no fun i hate wanting to die and not knowinh how to fxi it#like man i was feeling so good for like 5+ months#i went so long without being actibely or passibely suicifal and now its back in full swing anf Angry and trying to destroy me.#i juat hate this.
1 note
·
View note
Text
mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.
#it was so good tho#like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked#the fight scenes🤌#the environments/settings🤌#all of the fuckin machinery🤌#the acting🤌#the everything🤌#yum#also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy..#i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it#sorta vent->#but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part#because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝#just tee bee ehch#and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit#so i just went to sleep#and i was busy today#yesterday*#and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit#idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is#i felt a bit better yesterday though#and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea#hopefully that helps soonish idk#i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here#also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged#so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there#why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg#anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow#idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea#talkin shit
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every day in every movie, Stephen strange is the tackiest, corniest, hypocritical, arrogant, always unhelpful, biggest fucking loser character ever, and I'll never understand what people see in him.
#everything that we used to say tony stark was. is what stephen strange is#when tony was the worst egotistical. uncompromising in thinking hes always right#thats literally stephen strange#anti stephen strange#anti dr strange#i hate him so much#literally when has he been helpful#i just feel like multiverse of madness really showcased that hes a bad guy#spiderman no way home showcased how unhelpful and bullheaded he is#every problem he solves is one he helped create#fighting thanos. well he gave him the time stone first#which set vision dying into motion. which sent wanda into her talespin of perfection#which set the plot of multiverse going#no wanda dont dream walk. but stephen can dream walk. no wanda dont use the darkhold. but stephen can use the darkhold#every universes main problem is not just killing stephen when they have the chance#my god get rid of the awful manscaping and bad hair color#every fucking tacky line that man says#you are the worst#i tagged this as anti so if you dont like it. dont fucking reblog it and comment your opinion#i do not fucking care#make your own post
1 note
·
View note
Note
hi!! same anon here you dont have to take this as a request bc i just wanted to get this out of my chest yandere or at least obssesive averatio where both overstim the hell out of reader (lowkey mindbreak if you're comfy about that??) after reader rejects their advances NOT OUT OF HATE or anything but bc their insecurities got the best of them and either thought the two were just messing w them or they have abandonment issues (i do not have the second one whatever do you mean i am not projecting do not percieve me) no offense to these two but they look like the ppl to mess w your heart n leave you to rot
mb some predator/prey (they both hunt you down after you avoid them both and as ratio wisely said "what do you do with a cornered prey? hunt it to death" AUGHAHSGA) aphrodisiacs, drugging, etc. anyways after that you best bet you'll be too dumb to ever think of something as stupid as that, and sure, yes ratio hates idiots but well..... you will be the only exception given how cute you look all fucked out and broken on their bed with their cocks deep inside you <3
SKLDJALSDJAL HELP i feel awfully embarrassed w writing this lmao scuse me while i bleach my head.
i am very sorry this took so long </3 i wrote this as a fic at first but i lost motivation so now it’s just in the form of brain rot :(
oh no :( poor reader with insecurities from your past relationships thinking every man out there is a liar, especially the two that gave their hearts to you :( running away from them is a smart move because we don’t trust men in this household!
but you forget how annoying they can be when it comes to getting what they want, and they want you (´▽｀) so don’t be surprised when you find yourself feeling scared out of your mind walking home alone and feeling like you’re being watched! or when you find certain luxury items randomly appearing in your room! or the slightest hint of their cologne when you wake up every morning! because you asked for this by running away 😵💫
this was supposed to be holiday for you — coming to penacony, but the headache and blurry room before you has you panicking! you best know that no one is coming to save you when you’re running through the reverie hotel like a lost bunny when you receive a letter saying they’ll have you tonight! and if you think you had any chance of escape, you’re so wrong 😖
oh, and don’t let them know that you’re afraid, it only spurs them on! hunting you down through the corridors of the hotel is so adrenaline inducing for them <3 running shouldn’t be so hard though, so why do you feel as if your legs are going to give out any second? oh right, the drink! they probably drugged it, seems like something they would do
an exasperated gasp leaves you when you finally let your body fall, eyes closing, preparing for impact. and the next thing you know you wake up, hands tied above you to the headboard, your body completely bare. you’d struggle with all your might, soft whines sounding at the back of your throat when you spot the two of them hiding in the shadows, staring down at you with those bright, lust-filled eyes
oh, you’re so dead
your body feels like it’s on fire, desperately needing release, needing someone to touch you, anyone. your voice betrays you as whimpers leave you when they stalk towards you, their burning gaze not helping with the burning sensation.
you really did think you could escape! so why’re you here, tied and unable to move? tears fall as you lock eyes with veritas ratio, your fight or flight kicking in when he reaches out to caress your cheek, wiping the tears away. laughter sounds from aventurine on the other side of the bed, you’re just so naive! all he wants to do is to love and break you until you’re a sobbing mess beneath him 😵💫 so don’t blame him when he kisses you, he just can’t help it anymore, not when you’re already shaking when all they did was drug your drink and reveal themselves to you after months of stalking :(
the aphrodisiac is making you incredibly sensitive to their touch, which is perfect for them because that would mean hearing your sweet cries of pleasure! you best prepare yourself though, because they’re not stopping until you’re about to pass out 🧎🏻♀️ they haven’t had you for months, nobody is going to stop them from worshipping you, not even yourself.
you’ll be so overstimulated by the end of the night that even just innocent touches can have you whining and trembling like a leaf (^^)
“you really think you can run from us?” — veritas ratio
“who you knew you were so filthy, hmm? you wanted us to hunt you down, didn’t you? dirty, dirty girl.” — veritas ratio
“missed you so much, pretty girl.” — aventurine
“stop? now why would we do that? you’re clearly enjoying this. look at you, making such a mess on my cock.” — aventurine
#anon you are so big brained#such yummy thoughts in your head#i can envision everything EVERYTHING in my head#but it just doesn’t feel the same when i write them down as a fic#so drabble / brain rot format it is 🙁#I HOPE YOU LIKE IT#☃︎ anons!#🀥 lan’s writings!#hsr#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr ratio#veritas ratio#aventurine x reader#dr ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#honkai star rail smut#aventurine smut#dr ratio smut#veritas ratio smut
497 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's time to go
James potter x reader
Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.
Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.
A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)
You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.
"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.
You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.
"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.
"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.
"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.
"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.
However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"
"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.
But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.
On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.
The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?
Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.
You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.
By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.
The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.
"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.
You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.
"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"
"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.
"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.
Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.
"Y/n I can explain!"
" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.
"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.
"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.
"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."
"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.
James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.
"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.
He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x y/n#james potter angst#james potter x reader angst
406 notes
·
View notes
Note
As you've likely seen by now, I've been reblogging nearly every Hazbin fic you have, which I apologize if that bothers you at all. I simply see a lack of the x male reader department for this show, which is ironic considering mostly all the characters are queer and so are the creators. So thank you for what you write and how well you write it! I was hoping I could make a request for a part two of a fic I rather liked "(Vox x bar tander!Male reader)" this one specifically. The reader left off having their soul contract bought and offered to be a bartender at the Vee's private bar, and I was wondering what would happen from there?
HIIIIII
THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST
Im really sorry it took so long😭
Also THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reblogs is doesn't bother me at all IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING💗💗
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I THINK IT TURNED OUT PRETTY GOOD😌
ENJOY READING LOVELY PEOPLE
Warnings: Attempted Rape, violance V@lentino
Habit of saving
as a thank you pt.2
Vox x bartender!male reader
"I just dont fucking understand why the fuck you prefer the company of a lowly bartender over mine"
You hear Valentino's yelling from the other room, again.
This was not uncommon. Since you became the bartender in the Vees manor Vox visited the bar more often than before.
You guys spent hours talking and just because of the drinks either, he barely drunk anything cuz he was busy talking to you.
However, this of course annoyed Valentino. He wanted Vox's attention purely on himself.
"I don't." Said Vox, you know, like a lier.
"Work has just been really stressful lately and I need more drinks than before."
This was all lies. But Vox was not in the mood to be taking Valentino's shit, he would much rather go get a drink with you.
"Bullshit, I know how your work is and you blame everything on it, you dont even want to fuck me anymore are you a fucking moron do you know how many people want to get with ME."
And here he goes again. Vox was a little embarrassed though. It was true that since you arrived he was never in the mood to do it with Val, but he found himself having much more sex dreams with you.
He got red at the thought of that.
"You know what, I don't fucking care, go be happy with your boy toy; but don't you dare forget that you are where you are because of me." Ended the Argument Valentino as he grabbed a bottle from above your head, and walked out of the room.
You were silent during the whole argument. You knew it was not smart to start defending Vox you tried that once and, well, Vox had to stich you up afterwards.
"Care for a drink, sir?" You asked Vox. He was still, just standing in the middle of the room looking at the door.
He felt weird. Well, not weird, happy. But that was strange. Usually he felt guilty or annoyed when Valentino stormed off after a fight, usually he wanted to go after him. But not now. Now he felt...calm. Relieved even. He really wanted to sit down and have that drink with you.
"Yes, I would love a drink, and I've told you multiple times to call me Vox."
"Yeah I know but I didn't want to risk Val still hearing it." You chuckled.
"So, the usual, Vox?"
"Obviously." He answered back.
"Are you ok?" You asked as you poured his drink. You two were close enough for this not to be an awkward question. You were the bartender, you have comforted him after a night of drunken crying and put him to bed multiple times. He always asked you to stay. You never did. You just didn't feel ready yet.
"Getting better by the day, his antics don't affect me as strongly anymore." He commented calmly.
"I'm glad." You gave him his drink and you two continued talking.
And you talked, long into the night. Vox got a bit drunk again.
"All right mister I think it's time to get you to bed." You said smiling softly as you were about to jump from behind the bar and help him to his room.
"I can take care of him." Came a creepy calm voice from the door way. You saw Valentino.
He had a fake smile on his face. You knew this was trouble but he was kind of your boss.
"All right, sir." You just answered quietly, as Val took Vox and started to take him to his room.
"What-no, you-- (Y/N)--I, don't"
Vox mumbled drunken.
When they left the room you had a silent debate with yourself.
Yes Val was your boss. But you knew that taking advantage of someone while they're drunk was not below him.
"Fuck it" you mumbled to yourself as you jumped from behind the bar and tried to quietly run after them.
Thankfully you found them when they were about to enter the room.
When they got in you made sure to put your foot between the door and the frame so it doesn't close.
You peered into the room and you saw Val throw Vox onto the bed.
"You fucking whore, you couldn't keep your hands of the cute bartender boy could you."
He started angrily as he stepped onto Vox's screen, breaking it. You already wanted to barge in there when you saw this but when he started unbuckling his belt, thats when you snapped.
You jumped on Val, literally. And while the man might be powerful he had close to no muscles so he crumbled under you.
You knew you had close to no chance of winning. But you didn't care. You had to save Vox.
You tried to cut off Val's breathing by holding onto his neck for dear life. You might have been physically stronger he was still an overlord. A very powerful one.
You expected to be thrown down onto the floor any minute when the struggling finally stopped.
Your eyes opened widely as you hurriedly got off of Valentino.
You started panicking. What the fuck did you just kill an overlord? No, no there is no way he is so powerful why didn't he stop you.
You kneeled down and checked for a heart beat.
When you felt faint beating a boulder fell off your shoulder.
"Thank fuck" you commented to yourself. He probably just passed out.
But still why didn't he stop you.
You thought about it a but when it hit you. He was probably batshit drunk himself. You saw that when he walked away from the bar he barely managed to walk straight.
You were still panting.
You looked over at Vox and a strong feeling of sadness filled you.
You stepped over Vals passed out form and lifted up Vox.
He was lighter than you thought. You carried him all the way to your room where you knew you had a first aid kit.
Sure you could have just bring the first aid kit to him but you were not going to leave him alone with Valentino jot even for a second. Not even when they're both passed out.
After you put Vox's screen back together and batched him up you laid him down onto your bed.
This gave you time to think things through.
Even you couldn't explain to yourself why you cared about Vox this much.
Its true you have become very close during your time working here.
But there are people who you have known longer yet do not love as much as him.
...love?
You love him?
"(Y/N)"
While you were occupied with your thought you didn't notice the time. It was morning already.
"Yeah, Vox?"
"What the fuck happened?" He asked as he started touching his patched up screen.
You told him everything. You also told him that you will very likely have to leave because once Val wakes up...you don't want to know what he'll do to you.
"He can't do anything your soul is mine you are under my protection." He said firmly. He sat silently after that. Like someone who is contemplating something.
"Can I ask you something?"
He asked after a long silence.
"Of course"
"Why did you save me?"
This surprised you.
"Well, I mean I know what Val is like and...I just did what any normal person would do really-"
"No. You know no one in hell would to that for the demon that owns their soul. Not to mention this was the second time you saved me."
"...I honestly don't know why I did it the first time; I guess I just felt like...I dont know"
"And the second time."
You couldn't answer this. You knew the answer but you didn't want to say it.
"Well, you are a nice boss you treat me with kindness and-"
"No one would attack a powerful overlord just to safe their boss who is just 'nice'; try answering truthfully this time."
Well fuck. You knew Vox was a smart man but that didn't help you in this situation.
"I..." you didn't know what to do. You could come up with another lie but he would detect it no problem.
"I love you" you blurted out before you could stop yourself. The moment the words left your lips you smacked your hands onto your lips.
"I'm sorry sir I will leave-"
Vox took your hand in his when you wanted to stand up and pulled you towards him.
With one swift movement he placed his lips on your in a tender kiss.
You have never kissed a screen before but you were pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be like this.
His lips were soft but cold. It was an amazing kiss.
"Oh, you're not going anywhere." Said Vox while he let out a little chuckle.
"Because I love you too."
#male reader#hazbin x reader#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel x male reader#male y/n#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#vox x male reader#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox
237 notes
·
View notes
Text
GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
CHAPTER SIX: ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES
← prev chapter // next chapter →
✦ summary: in which the truth about steve's party is revealed and eddie leaves reader another note (wc: 8.6k+)
✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FIST FIGHT?!?, HUGE WARNING FOR BRUISES AND AN ABSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!, mention of bruises, mention of shoving someone, BILLY IS ABSIVE, if this content makes you uncomfortable lmk so i can make a summary of it, or just skip the flash back (but its like half of the chapter>:() chrissy is horrible, BILLY is even more horrible, chrissy says some classist shit!!, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — @andvys ily thank u for always being so helpful w everything i hope u like this chapter bb!! not proof-read srry ignore mistakes !! and as i said this is a heavy chapter so lmk if any of u need a summary on the flashback. and im so sorry for making chrissy such a villain i actually rlly love her characterr >:(
anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗
series masterlist | series playlist
FIVE YEARS AGO.STEVE’S PARTY.
Twenty minutes.
You’ve been waiting in line for the bathroom at Steve’s stupid party for the last twenty minutes. Even plenty of people ahead of you had frustratedly groaned and left by now.
But you weren’t going to give up that easy.
A muffled string of curses filtered through the door before she turned the lock. The door creaked open slightly, revealing a glimpse of Chrissy's face.
She gave you a slight smile, and cluelessly, your face lit up. “Oh, thank god! Can you please let me in, I left my jacket in there.” You giggled, words tangled to each other as you made a clumsy attempt to slip past her, but she closed the door further.
With furrowed brows, you looked up at her. “Uh, I’m busy in here,” She giggled nervously, head tilting towards the side. “Oh,” You murmured.
“OH!” The realization was slow to hit you. She was with someone. You started grinning childishly. “Who’s the lucky guy?” You quipped your brows excitedly, causing Chrissy to stammer.
You tried to pry open the door, brows still wiggling but Chrissy didn’t let you, mumbling something about being embarrassed. “Oh, come on, Chrissy…” You murmured, still grappling with her to open the door.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about—” you began with a childlike giggle, attempting to open the door even wider.
Your giggles were quick to die down when the door fell open, no words dared to come out of your lips as you finally saw who Chrissy was with.
Billy.
Soberness overcame you just at the sight of Billy’s disheveled hair, and Chrissy’s swollen plump lips.
Your best friend and your boyfriend.
Your eyes blinked rapidly, desperately wishing it was all a hallucination. The reality of the situation was slow to hit you, your vision blurred uncontrollably, throat tightening, and causing you to feel stuck, almost paralyzed.
With a gulp, you were quick to take a step back, ignoring them calling your name as you turned back, forgetting all about the jacket you were supposed to get back when your legs felt so wobbly. You could hear the chatter outside the door get louder, everyone else taking a peak at what just happened. The whispers and gasps of everyone around you felt like mocking echoes.
You didn’t even know what to feel first. Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Embarrassment?
It was a mix of all four and your chest hurts, tears welled up in your eyes, burning down your cheeks as your breaths came in shallow gasps, you couldn’t make any sense of it, and you couldn’t fucking understand it.
You felt it, felt betrayal like a physical sensation, like there was a void in your chest. And you could sense that Billy was running after you, trying to catch up to you, but you resisted the temptation to slow down, your anger acting as a protective shield.
“Baby, I swear nothing happened.” He exclaimed, desperation lacing his voice. Your eyes rolled instinctively, head tuning out the words that were too little, too late.
“Please, just listen to me she kissed me I didn’t! I tried to push her off—” You shouldn’t turn around, you definitely shouldn’t turn around and give him that satisfaction.
But you do.
“For twenty minutes?!? You tried to push her off for twenty fucking minutes?” You yell back bitterly.
“It isn’t what you think, please just let me explain!”
“Twenty fucking minutes, Billy!” You spat, pain quick to turn into anger. “Do you really think I’m that dumb?” Your fingers discarded your hair in anger, everything you knew to be true wasn’t anymore.
You knew what you had with Billy was fucked up, it wasn’t a normal nor a healthy relationship, but it was familiar and you were used to it, used to him. A relationship with this many ups and downs became your version of normalcy, even though it shouldn’t have.
No matter what happened, you thought he loved you, all those promises he whispered into your ear while you slept comfortably on his chest, all the times he murmured that he loved you, that he could never imagine being with anyone else, a whole fucking lie.
And it hurt.
Because you knew how hard it would be to walk away from this. You knew you couldn’t break away from him. You needed something to desperately pull you away. Show you that you deserved better than this.
No one would love you more than he did. He told you that a thousand times because it was true. He would do anything and everything for you. And you didn’t know why that enticed you, why being in such a fucked up situation hurt you in the best way possible, like an intoxicating yet destructive obsession.
And anyway, why would anyone even love you? You were a mess, a fuck up, nothing you did ever amounted to anything, and you knew that, you knew you were destined to be this way, to be with someone who constantly hurt you. Nothing you could do would be enough to get you out of the mess that was your mind.
“I would never do that to you, never.” His eyes were glossy, mirroring yours, you could tell when he lied to you, and this wasn’t one of those times. And you hated that your gaze softened with that because you wanted to believe him.
You knew he was flirty, you knew that the second you started dating Billy; from the countless times he flirted with the waitress when he took you to dinner, how he always got a little too close with the female lifeguards, how he charmed all the moms in Hawkins with a slight wink, it was a script you knew all too well. And you kept your mouth shut, tolerated it, only because he always brushed it off as nothing.
You didn’t mind it because he loved you, he told you he did, and you believed him. The countless arguments, the accidental bruises, name-callings, punches in the wall, you forgave it all. Because he loved you, he told you that love made him this way, it made him this insane and angry. And you let him make you believe that his erratic behavior was love, until today.
Because this was different, this was Chrissy. Your supposed best friend. Yes, Billy probably didn’t start making out with her, but he surely wasn’t eager to finish it either.
The betrayal cut deeper than any argument or bruise; it was a wound inflicted by the two people you believed loved you unconditionally.
You let out a sarcastic chuckle, arms crossing against your chest as you could feel your face burn up with anger, tears drying out. “You are something else,” you uttered, disappointment and resentment flavoring your words.
“I don’t want to ever see you again, Billy, and I fucking mean it.”
“Calm down,” he whispered, a feeble attempt to pacify you.
“No! I am not going to fucking ‘calm down’. You—you fucking cheated on me w-with Chrissy!” Your voice wavered, and you hated it, your anger wasn’t powerful enough to wash away the pain you felt, and tears were stinging your eyes again.
“Jesus how many times do I have to tell you she fucking kissed me! I-I didn’t fuckin’ cheat!” He defended but you shook your head. “And, anyway, didn’t you fucking kiss that freak?”
A lump formed in your throat, a bitter taste accompanying the memory. Yes, you did. But it was after one of your infamous breaks with Billy, the two of you were broken up. Eddie and you promised each other that it was nothing, that it would just complicate things between the two of you. And you knew, if Billy ever found out about it, he would not leave it alone, he wouldn’t let you hang out with him. He would mess with him till no end. And you didn’t want Eddie involved in it. Ever.
“I told you we didn’t!” You lied through your teeth, it didn’t matter now. What you did could never compare to what he fucking did. Ever. But you were starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, Chrissy spreading that rumor was not an accident, at all.
Anger simmered, building like a storm inside you. “Don’t try to shift the blame on me, you fucking kissed her!”
“I didn’t—”
“Did you not fucking kiss her back you asshole?” You interrupted, the surge of anger propelling you forward. Your hands found his shoulders, pushing him roughly. Billy stammered, opening his mouth to speak. “I-I only for like a minute, then I fuckin’ pulled away, I swear!” He defended himself, making you huff angrily.
“It’s over, Billy.” You muttered, gaze meeting his.
“I mean it.” You added, his sympathetic gaze was quick to turn cold, and it made you feel uneasy, how comfortable he was going from gentle to rough so quickly.
His lips twisted into a cynical skepticism, “for how long this time? Eight hours? Two fucking days? A week?” There was that lump in your throat again. Billy didn’t believe that you could leave him, and you felt that tight, unexplainable feeling sink into your chest, he thought you’d stay with him no matter what, like a fucking object that he could do whatever he wants to. It’s sickeningly insulting, your hand raises to slap him, but he’s faster.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” His harsh grip on your wrist hurts, but what hurts more is the fresh bruise he left on your forearm two days ago, another fight that got too grabby.
“L-let me go,” you embarrassingly begged, wincing at his relentless grip. Your face scrunched with pain, eyes squeezing shut. The tenderness of the bruise made the slightest touch unbearable.
His hand twisted your wrist further, harsh hold squeezing more tears out of you than you realized. “B-billy,” you begged, again. Only then, Billy noticed your discomfort, swallowing hard before reluctantly releasing your arm. An emptiness replaced his hold, and your vision blurred as you tried to reassure yourself, fingertips gently tracing the purplish bruise.
“D-does forever work?” It comes out as a whisper, words tangling to each other when you recollect yourself from him, still trying to find the broken pieces he scattered, leaving without another word.
And he didn’t bother to run after you, watching your figure leave while guilt set in, the sight of that purple blotch on your arm, how you flinched at any contact, the way you closed up during arguments, it was all because of him. All because he couldn’t fucking help himself; his anger or his need for control.
He doesn’t escape the cycle.
A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you walked away, tears streaming down your face. Your hands shook as you wiped them away, the weight of everything breaking free in a flood of sobs.
You immediately make your way to the drink stand, praying to whatever god there is that no one else can perceive you for the rest of the night so that you can drown in your sorrows and drink all of it away.
You barely registered Chrissy approaching you between sobs and the harsh scoop of the 'pure fire,' as Steve called it, into the red cup clutched in your fists. “Can I talk to you?” Her voice, when it finally reached your ears, felt mocking, and carried a giddy undertone that enraged you more and more.
“No,” you scoffed, refusing to entertain the idea, turning your attention back to the sorrowful task of filling your cup.
“Come on, take a chill pill,” she attempted to joke, her usual signature line falling flat. Your glare, sharp as the knives you felt in your back, met her with anger. She huffed a sigh of breath.
“Please I’m sorry, just let me talk—”
“What the fuck do you want to talk about, huh?” You set the cup down harshly, the impact of it had the drink sloshing all over the surface, “the fact that you tried to kiss my boyfriend?” you interrupted with a spiteful look.
Her wavering sympathy dissipated at your accusation, eyes turning cold as she furrowed her brows. “What?” she hissed. “Tried? Is that what he told you?” She scoffed.
Your face scrunched. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” You spat back, you didn’t care if your words hurt her in the slightest, your thoughts were purely consumed by her betrayal.
“Excuse me?” Chrissy’s eyes narrowed.
“Jesus, Pinky are you really that fucking gullible?” She asked tilting her head almost mockingly.
“Or do you really think that highly of yourself?” Your mouth struggled to open, heart dropped to your stomach when you realized she didn’t even care.
“We were in that bathroom for twenty minutes, use your imagination.” That goddamn smirk curved on her lips, and you knew you have never felt this amount of pain before, it was insulting, to ever think you called her your friend.
“Oh, you are such a fucking-” You could feel your blood boiling, almost ready to attack her, your drunken haze giving you enough courage.
But her annoying tone interrupted you, “Did you really think you were perfect? That you were enough for Billy?”
“What did you think? That he would want a fucking charity case like you?” The tears pooled your eyes again, but you weren’t going to let her see it, so you held them in, clenching your fists as your breath caught in your throat. All of her insults became a deafening background noise to your ears. “Newsflash, Pinky you have junkies for parents. You’re too messed up. Even for Billy.”
The heat rushed to your cheeks at the last insult, earning a visceral reaction because of how cruel she was. Disgust and anger overtook your senses quicker than you intended them to, you felt small, and so fucking stupid.
Regret gnawed at you – You should’ve never let her in. You should’ve never let her comfort you. You should’ve never told her anything. It was all your fucking fault. For trusting anyone that came in your way.
Just because you wanted to feel loved, just because you wanted to fill that void that your parents left. And it was so ironic, considering they couldn’t give two shits about you, yet your deepest wound would always be them.
“You’re so fucking pathetic, Chrissy.” You spat, masking all of your emotions. You had mastered it at this point. You didn’t care what she said about you, she could keep her mouth running, because she was dead to you. Maybe you could’ve forgiven her for the whole Billy thing because fuck him too, he was no saint, right?
But making fun of your parents was one line she couldn’t cross.
“You’re more fit for that trailer trash freak.” Scratch that. Making fun of Eddie was one line she couldn’t fucking cross. Eddie. She couldn’t breathe near him if she wanted to, she didn’t deserve it.
Your teeth grounded together, and fury fueled your rise to your feet. “Don’t ever call him that again.” The words slipped between gritted teeth, the realization of how close you had walked to her only dawned as you unintentionally cornered her.
She looked taken aback, brows pinched together. “What are you gonna do? Go all trailer trash on me too?” She chuckled, annoyingly loud.
You shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.
But she also shouldn’t have insulted Eddie.
You are ready to lunge at her, feet planted closer as your hands are formed as fists at your side, and just as you’re about to take another step, a harsh arm yanked you away. Seconds away from getting that satisfaction, and just like that, you’re ripped away from it.
“What the—” You turned swiftly to see the culprit, as you harshly shook off the hold on you, your bruises still hurt, causing loud whines to part from your lips.
Steve.
Chrissy was back in your face, mocking laughter dancing in her eyes. “God, you’re predictable.” The laughter stung, and the pressure of your anger almost built up in your jaw.
“Fuck you, you stupid—” You try again. No luck. Of course, Steve, with an unyielding grip, dragged you away.
Chrissy walked past, reveling in the scorned look etched on your face. She paused, turning with a smirk. “Oh, and next time you get a ‘freak accident’, make sure you don’t forget your jacket.” She pointed toward the fresh bruise on your forearm, courtesy to Billy who grabbed you a little too hard during another heated argument. Then she threw the jacket right next to you, on the floor landing with a mocking thud as she left with an irritating cackle.
Impressively, Steve picked it up while maintaining his hold on you. “Let me go!” Your almost-scream echoed, his hands were unintentionally grazing the tender bruise, and it fucking hurt.
Only when he knew Chrissy was out of sight did he release his grip, and you shook him off with an exasperated huff.
“What the fuck?!?” You questioned, gaze burning with fury.
“Right back at you, what the fuck was that, Pinky?” He asked, tone more concerned than angry.
“Nothing,” you muttered. It was such an obvious lie that Steve rolled his eyes.
“That won’t work with me.”
In a defiant move, you grabbed the drink, aiming to drown the tension, but Steve intercepted, harshly putting it back down. A glare shot his way. “Will you leave me alone?”
“No.” He protested with a pinch of his brows. “So, tell me.”
“Steve,” you whined. You didn’t want to be interrogated by him, you knew he cared. But you just couldn’t handle it.
“I’m serious, you do realize this is my house, right?” His tone carried a veiled threat and you rolled your eyes at him. “I could kick you out any time I wanted to.”
Your gaze narrowed, disbelief etched across your face. "You wouldn’t do shit."
With a raise of his brows, Steve swiftly picked you up, slinging you over his shoulders. It all happened so fast that you weren’t quick to start softly punching his back and screaming.
God, he really was good at distracting you, so good that his little act almost coaxed a reluctant smile from your lips. “Put me down!” You yelled behind him, your fists landed on his back with a not-so-impactful force.
“Are you gonna tell me?” Steve asked, relishing the way you continued to thrash over his shoulder. Your face grew hotter every second, and with an annoyed huff, you finally nodded. “Yes, Jesus Christ!”
He gently lowered you to the ground, and a teasing glint danced in Steve's eyes as he quipped, "Atta girl." You responded with a scoff and a mock annoyed chuckle.
“So?” He questioned, arms crossing against his chest, his demeanor shifted, the playful atmosphere dissipating as his expression turned serious.
“I caught Chrissy and Billy in the bathroom.”
“What?” Genuine shock washed over Steve's features, his eyes widening in disbelief.
“Yeah I—”
“And she still had the nerve to say all those fucking things?”
Embarrassment surged, fluttering your cheeks hot. “You, uh, you heard those?” Steve responded with a quick nod.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Pinky, not with me.” He reassured you, his hand finding a comforting place on your waist, “she's the one who should be fuckin’ embarrassed. Jesus.”
“Thought she was supposed to be your friend,” Steve said, his gaze softening with empathy.
“Me too.” A sad chuckle escaped your lips.
His gaze lingered on the gnarly bruises decorating your arm, a visible wince reflecting in his expression. "And what about those?" he gulped, concern etching lines on his face.
You were quick to dismiss it with a wave, too quickly that of fucking course Steve knew something was wrong, you didn’t even dare to look at the bruises, or him in the eyes.
“Bike accident,” you muttered, lying through your teeth.
"Since when do you have a bike?" Steve questioned and gauged your reaction, he knew you were lying, you were avoiding his gaze, and you looked visibly nervous, but he didn’t want to push this. It was too personal, and this wasn’t the place for it. So, he understood, of course, he did. He or Nancy should’ve been the one you confided in. But you didn’t want to burden them with your problems.
“If—” Steve took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “If you ever need to talk about anything—and I mean anything—you can always talk to me. Hell, us! You can always talk to us, you know that, right?” His hand was quick to caress your back, gently, letting you know that he would always be there.
You nodded, but you wanted this pity party to be over, you wanted—needed Eddie. Just one hug from him. And maybe a joint.
“I-I know, thank you.” You hesitantly replied, stumbling over your words.
“You need anything?” He asked sincerely.
You shook your head softly. “No… but have you seen Eddie?”
“He was selling to some idiots on the porch, might still be there.” He shrugged.
You were quick to nod, you had to leave, immediately. You didn’t want to worry Steve. “Thanks, Stevie, see you around?” You hummed, managing a smile that he mirrored.
And with that you were quick to grab your drink, downing it with a hiss before you almost ran to the porch, you didn’t want to see Billy or Chrissy again.
You needed to find Eddie.
And god, was it hot, you didn’t know if it was because of everything that transpired in the last twenty minutes, or it was because of the alcohol flowing in your system but you were burning up.
And you didn’t want to wear your jacket.
You should have.
A harsh breeze of air hit you once you finally stepped on the porch, fresh yet biting, serving as a slap of reality that had your eyes watering, you didn’t know why, you didn’t know how, but the tears came immediately.
It was pathetic, really. You with the bruises, half-drunk, discovering your friend with your boyfriend, breaking up with your boyfriend, and then earning insults from the said friend who was hooking up with your boyfriend.
A rollercoaster of a fucking night, but it was just getting started.
Slouching on the porch stairs, your head hung low to your knees as you covered your face with shame, almost. Mind reeling in the worst way possible.
The insults stuck to it, Chrissy’s plump lips, Billy’s disheveled hair. His harsh grip on your arm. The way he mocked you. The insults Chrissy uttered. It was all a fucking mess. And you couldn’t handle any more of it.
All the emotions you pent up over the years wanted to flow through your eyes, ruining you, completely breaking you apart.
The red cup in your hand was crumpled roughly, each attempt to stifle your cries only intensified the shaking of the cup, spilling over to the stairs.
Where was he?
Where was Eddie?
Your mind was spinning and the only thing you could think of was him.
“Pinky?” The soft tone of his voice sliced through the tumult in your mind, and your head snapped up, eyes immediately watered at the sight.
There he stood, a boyish grin adorning his face, shaggy bangs falling over his amber eyes, a stupid leather jacket, and those stupid black jeans with chains attached to the hip. Him.
“Finally! Been lookin’ everywhere for you, sweetheart,” His voice wrapped around you like a reassuring embrace, but your foggy mind took a while for everything to register. When it did, you shot up, the world spinning dizzily, as you threw yourself into his arms. Sobs escaped freely, muffled against his jacket.
His voice immediately softened, gentle hands running through your hair as he cooed. “Hey.. hey… what happened?” His tone so sweetly sick that you couldn’t help but melt into him, letting his warmth take over.
Your breath caught up in your throat, and Eddie gently pulled away from the hug. Soft hands cupped your tear-streaked cheeks, grounding you with a simple touch. You gave into him, succumbing to his tenderness.
This was what you needed. And it was almost as clear as day. It should’ve always been him.
"I-I-" Your words stumbled over your sobs, the weight on your chest making it hard to breathe. Eddie's concerned eyes met yours, wiping away the tears on your cheek gently.
“Honey, hey, hey…” He caught your attention, his soothing voice breaking through the haze. His brows furrowed with worry, and you blinked open your eyes, focusing on him. "Breathe, can you do that for me, sweetheart?" Like a lifeline, his words pulled you back from the edge. Concern etched on his face, apparent from his brows creasing.
What the fuck happened? And who fucking did this to you?
Eddie had a good idea who did it: Billy. The very thought of that name sent a surge of anger through his veins. Hadn't this asshole put you through enough already? What could he have fucking done now?
You drew in a shuddering breath, and Eddie, recognizing your struggle, encouraged you while soothingly caressing your hair, calming you down further and further.
"Deep breaths, just like that. Breathe for me," he coaxed, and you obediently followed, shallow breaths gradually returning to normal as you focused on him.
His touch was gentle, hands still caressing your cheeks as he asked with genuine concern, "Are you doing okay now?" He asked, gaze mellow and lips overturned with worry
You nodded, but it wasn't convincing enough for him. As your hiccups persisted, you finally managed to articulate through the tears, "Chrissy."
Eddie's heart tightened, a quizzical look on his face. Chrissy? What did she have to do with this?
"Billy hooked up with Chrissy," you revealed, it was the most clear you had spoken to him and he still had a hard time understanding it.
His brows pinched together both in anger and confusion, his hold on you faltering once he registered your words.
So, Billy cheated on you?
Oh, now he was going to kill that bastard. Once he made sure you were okay, he was going to beat the shit out of him.
"What?" he exclaimed a little too loudly, his hold on you momentarily faltering in sheer shock.
"They—what?" he stammered.
"I caught them in the bathroom, Eddie, I—" Your tears blurred your vision again, and in frustration, you ran your hand through your hair.
That's when Eddie's eyes widened, and he pointed to something, asking, "What's that?"
You froze, desperately attempting to dismiss it, but Eddie wasn't having it. His hands gently flew to your forearm, and you flinched just in time, hastily trying to put on the jacket you should've already been wearing. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Now he was going to ask so many questions, and you knew he wouldn’t let go like Steve did, and he would know if you lied, in a heartbeat.
He huffed quickly, ignoring your protests as he softly held onto your arm, just around the bruise, being careful not to cause any more pain. Your lip trembled in the process. Shit, shit, shit.
“Pinky…” he murmured, worry creasing his brows at the royal purple mark.
If Eddie knew, there was no turning back, there was no way he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. A part of you was happy about it—maybe he could pull you away, maybe everything would be okay.
But the other part of you was terrified. Because you know he wouldn’t think of your bruises as nothing like you did and like Billy kept assuring you, he wouldn’t just let this go like you would. He would stand up for you, and while you were grateful, you were equally scared.
“N-nothing,” you muttered, avoiding his intense gaze.
“That’s not nothing,” his hand extended, slowly but surely making you reveal the full extent of the huge, gnarly bruise on your arm, with another one freshly forming from the hold Billy had on you earlier. Fuck.
“Holy shit,” he muttered, trying to avoid the genuine gasp waiting to escape his lips, “What happened?” His gaze found yours.
“Bike accident,” you lied through your teeth, a stupid fucking lie. He would never buy it.
“You don’t have a bike.” He heaved a sigh of breath, the thought of these bruises forming because of Billy didn’t even form his mind, sure he was awful and an asshole, but Eddie never thought he would be that awful.
“I used Mike’s.” Another lie.
“Did something bad happen?”
“No!”
“Pinky,” he said it so seriously that you felt bad. “Tell me, please.” His tone was awfully worrying.
How the fuck were you going to tell him?
“We were arguing—”
“What?” He quickly snapped back, not at you, but at what you were implying. He could almost feel the color draining from his cheeks. You surely didn’t mean…
“It-it was nothing!” You defended with a dismissive wave, but it didn’t stop his eyes widening. “We just- we were just arguing, and-and then he tried to hold me but i-it was just a little tight!”
“H-he did this to you?” Eddie’s jaw clenched in an instant, and he tried his best not to react, trying not to show you how he could feel his blood practically boiling, you’d been through enough, you didn’t need to deal with calming him down now, too.
“No, no, it was just a little accident. It doesn’t matter!”
“Yes, it fucking does!”
“No, it doesn’t!” Frustrated, you spat back, a bit of your pent-up anger lashing out at Eddie.
“I’m going to kill that asshole,” He scowled, rising to his feet, eyes spitting fire and you were quick to have a strong hold on his arm. “N-no! Please.” You whispered, the desperation in your voice slicing through the tension. Your touch brings him back to the present, reminding him that you matter more than his impulsive reactions.
Eddie stopped with a sigh of breath, gaze returning to you, and you nervously licked your lips fingers combing through your hair to gather your thoughts. “Look, Eddie, I-I just needed to see you, I just needed to feel normal for a moment, please, not now.” Your gaze was sympathetic, you looked so hurt that Eddie’s brows scrunched in pain.
He opened his mouth, about to speak, about to tell you that he could protect you, but your brows furrowed, and that teary-eyed look returned on your face. “Please,” Desperate, tugging on his arm, and he had no choice but to nod. He could deal with this later.
“O-okay,” he muttered, meekly, swallowing the lump in his throat. His stomach churned in pain and anger when he realized that bastard actually fucking hurt you. And you really thought it was all okay…
“What do you need, honey?” Sickeningly sweet tone was back again, and it warmed you up, removing the coldness that sat on your chest.
“A hug…” You muttered, “and maybe a joint.”
That brought an unintentional grin to both of your faces. “C’mere.” He whispered, arms quick to wrap around you, holding you close. The subtle sway of his body rocked you in the promise that you were not alone, his gaze filled with concern and you couldn’t help but melt into him when he pressed a kiss onto your hair.
Too engulfed, too distracted to realize someone almost sprinting toward the two of you. Before you could process the approaching figure, a voice cut through the air, sharp and accusatory. “You didn’t kiss him? Bullshit!”
Confusion etched across your face as Eddie's protective arms tightened around you. “What the hell are you—”
Billy, possibly fueled by alcohol, swaggered toward you both with an air of aggression. “Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”
The scent of alcohol wafted from Billy, and Eddie’s unbridled rage was now on the surface, he wore a scowl, eyes daggering through Billy. His hand protectively remained on your hips, gently pulling you aside. You tried to look at him, silently pleaded that you didn’t want this, that you didn’t need him to do this. But it was no fucking use.
“She’s not your fucking girlfriend, dipshit.”
“Stay the fuck out of this, freak.” He ignored Eddie, rage now full on display as he fully turned toward you.
“What, you gonna deny it, or no?” Caught in a crossfire, you felt a surge of panic, and just as you were about to speak, Eddie did it for you.
“No, she’s not gonna fuckin’ deny it.” Your eyes widened, blinking rapidly to process what Eddie just confessed to.
“Eddie—” You tried but again, no use, Eddie took a step closer to him.
“We did kiss.” A smirk played on his lips, he was doing it on purpose, he wanted to get Billy to punch him.
“I fucking kissed her, asshole.” Shit, you internally cursed at him.
The tension thickened, you could see it in the ticking jaw and bulging vein on Billy's neck. He moved forward, poised to strike at Eddie. “You have the nerve you fuckin’ freak!” He stepped forward, attempting to get at him.
You acted quick, acting as a shield to Eddie, you didn’t care, you couldn’t let him get hurt because of you. You couldn’t handle that.
“Billy, don’t!” Your desperate plea was drowned out by the pounding music and the escalating chaos. Despite your efforts, Billy's aggression only intensified. A forceful push sent you sprawling to the unforgiving ground. Tiny rocks bit into your palms, and your knees scraped against the abrasive cement.
The impact on the ground sent a shockwave of pain through your body, a groan escaping your lips at the pain. Your world spun harder, you didn’t even know what to focus on first; the throbbing bruise on your cheek, Billy's kiss with Chrissy, the haze of your drunkenness, or the startling fact that Billy had pushed you to the ground. All of it made you dizzy.
You could barely blink when Eddie knocked Billy out cold, with three well-aimed punches, lunging at him the moment he laid hands on you, your gaze narrowed to make sure you saw it correctly.
Eddie was fine. Eddie was okay.
“Sweetheart, oh my god.” Eddie's voice cut through the haze, his worried tone a soothing balm. With a gentle scoop, he lifted you to your feet.
You didn’t want to be there when Billy woke up, some drunk idiot could help him. Or Chrissy would, for all you cared. And as if Eddie understood you, he quickly helped you move away from the scene, guiding you towards the row of parked cars, away from everything.
Once you were at a safer distance, Eddie tried to hold you, face etched in concern, as he ventured to ask, “You doing okay?”
The scowl you wore was anything but, “Why did you do that?!?” The words spat from your lips surprised him.
“Excuse me?” Eddie responded, his brow furrowing in confusion.
“Yo-you shouldn’t have told him!” Worry was etched all over your face, Eddie didn’t realize the consequences of what he did would have, but you did, oh, you did.
“D-do you realize what you just fucking did?” You wanted to cry, or you were already crying, you couldn’t tell when your cheeks were wet already.
“I—”
You interrupted him. “I-I don’t need this, I don’t need you to protect me.”
“I didn’t mean to make you upset—”
“I’m not upset!” Your scowl deepened, face flushed with frustration.
He tried to reach closer, tried to help you but you refused. “Don’t- just don’t!”
“I-I don’t need to be saved or protected, okay?” Your lips wobbled, “just l-leave me alone, Eddie.”
“What?” His face fell, lips downturned, as he struggled to comprehend your sudden detachment.
“Leave me alone, I-I can take care of myself!” You begged, but that anger sank on your chest, it made you bitter, made you want to close up entirely.
“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” He spat, hands ruffling through his hair in anger. He took a step closer to you, stomach churning with the need to hold you.
“Pinky don’t you fucking see it? I care about you, you’re the only thing I care about in this goddamn world! How the fuck do you expect me to leave when you’re hurt?” His voice cracked, and your gaze softened with it.
“How do you expect me to not beat the shit out of that fucking asshole for doing that to you?” The raw emotion in his voice was enough to pierce through your defenses, making your heartache.
“I get it, I get that you’re tough, but shit—”
“I can’t just sit and watch you get hurt… I can’t.” The truth in his words hung heavy in the air, it was almost like a shift between the two of you, like the barrier finally dissipating, so that the true feelings would prevail.
Yet, despite that you pushed back, your own stubbornness overtaking you. “But I want you to leave me alone!”
You knew your words were nothing but a lie, you needed someone, him specifically. Sure, you had always been tough, but this? This was too much. And you knew he was the only one who could make you feel better, yet like an idiot, you pushed him away. That’s all you were good at, wasn’t it?
Your tears came back when you saw his face, defeated, all because of you. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved better, he shouldn’t be roped up in this mess. You had to push him away, you fucking had to.
He didn’t do anything but look at you. Really, really looked at you.
And you looked a mess, hair disheveled, mascara running down your cheeks, bruises on your arm, knees scrapped, lip wobbling, and you could barely stand. The worst possible condition he saw you in.
He knew what you were doing, you were pushing him away because you were afraid. A move, he always pulled, a move he was good at until he met you. He understood you, possibly in a way no one ever could.
Eddie, undeterred, stepped closer to you with a calm determination. Your head snapped up at the movement, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration.
“No.” He muttered.
“What?”
“I’m not gonna leave.”
“But—”
“No but’s, wear your jacket, I’m taking you home.” His tone was clear, not harsh, not soft either. Just letting you know that he was here, he was always going to be here and he was not leaving, even if you tried so hard to make him.
“I-I don’t think I wanna go home.” You muttered.
“My place?” You nod softly.
You don’t know why it caused you to break down again, but it did, tears were your friend and they were overspilling faster than you intended them to. His arms opened up instinctively and you didn’t hesitate to let him engulf you.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured between sobs, the words catching in your throat. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean it, ‘m so sorry, sorry, so—” Hiccups interrupted your apologies, but Eddie hushed you gently, his presence making you feel at ease.
“I know, I know…” he cooed, hand ghosting over your back, the hold he had on you tight enough to let you know that you were safe. “It’s okay, honey.” He reassured. The sweet name had your heart beat faster once you looked up at him.
“I-I didn’t mean it.” You stammered all teary-eyed, and Eddie couldn’t help the way his chest tightened, you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to cry. He was going to make sure you were okay.
“Hey, hey, I know.” He cooed softly, gently caressing your face.
“P-please, don’t leave.” Your tone framed the words so gut-wrenchingly painful that Eddie ached, his heart broke a million times, over and over, pieces to pieces.
“Never.”
“I’d never leave you.”
NOW
STEVE'S BRUNCH.
With the missing pieces of the puzzle finally being revealed to Eddie, that memory was what he replayed in his head, over and over, until he finally couldn’t handle the way Steve reassured you, hand on your waist as he told you idiotic jokes.
He couldn’t shake off it, he shouldn’t just leave it like this. He should fight for you, he should do something. His hand was quick to fish out the notebook, his eyes scanned through it to find the perfect note, maybe, this would help you realize that he had always been there for you. A feeble attempt, but he didn’t have any other choice, you didn’t want to talk to him, so he just slipped the note to Jonathan and left.
You watched him leave, a scowl on your face, heart aching when he didn’t even utter a goodbye to you. It was hypocritical, considering that you had asked him not to acknowledge you, but you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help yourself when it came to him.
Hours had passed since that moment and you had apologized to Jonathan and Nancy a hundred times by now, but they shrugged it off without a care. God, you really didn’t deserve them, did you?
And everything was going finally back to normal. Sipping the cocktails and munching on the amazing pancakes Steve had made everyone, and dabbling your feet in the water as laughter was all that surrounded the group.
This was what it should’ve been, all of you, and Eddie. If he hadn’t brought her.
But of course, all the bliss disappeared once Steve decided to bring it up again.
“So… how do you feel?” You threw him a glare, splashing some of the chlorine-filled water directly at his hair.
“Jesus, not the fucking hair!” He groaned, ruffling it with his daggering glare thrown at you. “Now you have to tell me!” He insisted, shoulder nudging yours.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you muttered, facing away from him as you felt everyone eyeing you.
“Maybe, we should.” Jonathan chimed in, making you furrow your brows.
“What does that mean?” Steve replied before you did.
With a sigh, Jonathan extended a rustled paper, and you immediately recognized what it was, “He said he wanted me to give this to you.”
“A note? So brave of him,” Steve mocked with a roll of his eyes, groaning when Nancy elbowed him.
Robin hid her giggle with her hand, and Nancy threw her an icy glare, shutting both of them up.
Your brows furrowed in disbelief, lips kissing your teeth as you snatched it out of his hand. “Oh, he did?” You didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but it was pissing you off at this point.
He didn’t utter a single word to you. And now he didn’t even have the decency to give you this?
Steve was right.
Why was he being a fucking coward?
You were quick to get up from the side of the pool, plopping onto the nearest chair to read the contents.
You could feel their eyes on you but they were quick to hide it, going back to their chatter.
“When she gave me this, I never thought I’d actually end up writing in it for anything other than lyrics. Some ideas. But ever since we kissed, I can’t stop or control my thoughts, it’s been nonstop flowing and this is the only way I can express it. The only thing to make me feel sane, to make it seem like it really was real. My mouth hasn’t shut up about her since she kissed it, my thoughts haven’t been okay ever since I saw the curl of her lips right after she kissed me. I know how hard it is for her, I know how much she struggles with that dipshit who doesn't deserve her. But it doesn’t matter, now. I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if she asks me to. I’ll do anything if she asks me to.”
You turned the note over, nothing else was written, with your brows pinched together angrily, you smushed it into your pocket, ignoring the protests of everyone while you jumped into your car in a hurry.
What the fuck was he thinking giving you this?
What the fuck was his problem?
If he wanted you, why couldn’t he just tell you?
And if so, why did he even bring Chrissy?
It wasn’t long till you made it to Eddie’s trailer, and with your harsh knocks, it wasn’t long till Eddie opened it.
“Jesus Christ—” His words fell in the air at the sight of you, eyes widening.
“What the fuck is your problem?” You yelled, lines on your forehead deepening into a frown as you held up the note in his face.
“You didn’t utter a single word to me, and you’re just giving this note to Jonathan?” He stammered, mouth unable to find the words to speak, not really expecting you to confront him like this.
“Why don’t you just say it to my fucking face?”
“I would, if you weren’t so busy.”
Your brows pinched together, “excuse me?”
“Is this some kind of a joke?” He asked.
“Y-you tell me not to speak with you! You tell me that we shouldn’t ever see each other again, then you leave with Steve and somehow I’m the problem?” He said, exasperated.
Was he… jealous? Of Steve?
“No, the problem is you being a coward!” You raised your voice, hand pressing the note to his chest dramatically.
“You think I’m a coward? I’m the furthest fucking thing from it, and you know that.”
“You think a coward would put everything aside for you? You think a coward would run away with you?”
“O-okay, okay!” You want him to stop speaking, because you know he’s right, he wasn’t a coward, at least when it came to that. But he was a coward when it came to his feelings, and maybe it wouldn’t have pissed you off this much if you weren’t one too.
The two of you were dancing around what you actually needed to talk about, feelings, and it was getting ridiculous at this point, because neither of you could pull away, no matter how many times you said you would. He pulled you in, and you pulled him in.
“I fucked up, I did. But don’t ever act like I’m the one who ran away when things got too hard, okay?” He leaned further on the door frame, face inches away from yours, it made your breath hitch, heart thumping inside of your ribcage.
Your words meshed together when your gaze stooped on his lips. He was close, so close, and he occupied your mind. “H-How did we even go back to this? It’s like we’re moving around in a stupid fucking circle and—” You took a deep breath to gather your thoughts.
“I told you I didn’t want to do this back and forth with you and here we are again!” It was frustrating, everything with him was frustrating, but you couldn’t stay away from him, how could you?
Those five years had been hell.
“Are you kidding?” His words were dripping with irritation, “You came to my door! Started screaming in my face and waving notes!”
“I only did it because you were too much of a fucking coward to give me the note!” Now it was fully getting ridiculous, arguments turning into a bickering old couple.
“I told you I’m not a coward—” He defended.
You interrupted with, “Fine, fine! You are not a coward whatever!”
“What you are is fucking infuriating!” You spat, taking a step closer to him.
“Infuriating? You started this!” He fueled it, mirroring your steps, one more step from either of you, and his lips would be pressed onto yours.
“Oh, so I kissed Chrissy?” You scoffed, arms crossed against your chest.
“Jesus, that’s not what I meant!” He almost groaned, frustrated.
“You want me to prove it to you? You want me to tell you how much I messed up? I’ll fucking do it.”
There was that tension between the two of you again, it wasn’t filled with hatred in the slightest, but there was so much unresolved shit that it might as well suffocate you if Eddie stepped any closer, it ached, making a way to your heart.
Three hours ago you wanted him out of your life, for good. Now, all you wanted to do was see him prove himself to you, it was stupid, psychotic, and maybe a little selfish. But you couldn’t help yourself when it’s him.
“You will?” You stammered, you didn’t fully know what that meant, but it was somehow making your heart jump knowing that maybe the notes still meant something. Maybe, just maybe he wanted you, still. Your forehead relaxed, and lips itched to curl into a smile.
And of fucking course, Eddie caught it. “Yes.” He said, all smugly, making you want to roll your eyes.
“G-good, uh, until then, I-I mean it, I don’t want to see you.” You shifted uncomfortably in your place, fully realizing how close he was to you, and it somehow brought confidence to Eddie.
He tssked, “Then you probably shouldn’t come to my door, then.” His nose scrunched sarcastically, eliciting an eye roll from you.
“Munson.” You warned.
“Pinky?”
“You really are infuriating.”
“Am I?” He tilted his head all adorably.
“Yes.”
“See you tonight, sweetheart.” He winked.
And you groaned with that, flipping him off while you hurried back to your car.
He closed the door with an amused smile, his nose scrunching as he replayed the conversation in his head.
“So you two good now?” Wayne’s grouchy tone almost had Eddie jump in place.
“Jesus Christ, Wayne! Were you just eavesdropping on our conversation?”
“What? You said y’all had the worst fight of your lives, that don’t seem like it to me.” He shrugged.
“We did— but uh, I don’t know, I just don’t know what the actual fuck is going with us, I thought I was dead to her but then she just barges in—”
“She cares about you, Eddie.” Wayne sighed.
“I know that girl like the palm of my hand, if you were dead to her, she wouldn’t even acknowledge you, just her bein’ a big fireball shows she still cares.”
Eddie sighed, “But she said—”
“Hell to what she said! Both of y’all are idiots when it comes to this, you go prove to her that you’re sorry, tell her how you feel and then you can thank me.” He exclaimed.
“But—”
“Boy, do what I told you, apologize to that sweet girl, and make sure you do it until she forgives you.” Eddie threw a look at Wayne.
And Wayne dismissed it with his finger pointing at him, “I mean it, Eddie, after all the shit you told me about what that little blondie did to my Pinky, you should be on your knees beggin’!”
“Okay, okay!” Eddie admitted the defeat.
“Jesus, old man, it wouldn’t hurt for you to just take your nephew’s side once in a while, would it?” He mocked dramatically.
He threw a daggering look at Eddie, “Fine, fine, I’ll apologize.” Wayne narrowed his gaze. “A proper apology.” Eddie muttered, almost embarrased.
“And?” Wayne raised his brows.
Eddie groaned loudly, “and I’ll tell her how I feel.”
✦ final authors note — okay i promise the next two chapters are going to be less angst-filled (like gonna be worth the wait i promiseee) 🤭 and yes the note was inspired by alex turner's letter to alexa chung okay!! reading that at like 13 altered my brain chemistry a LOT. anyway like i said pls leave some feedback i swear it motivates me a LOTTT. thank u for reading ilyy💗
#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson series#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x fem!reader#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie x reader#eddie munson#stranger things fanfic#getaway car#getaway car series
345 notes
·
View notes
Text
LoserEllie x Fem!reader
a/n: This fic was supposed to come out in late August or early September, so I am a month late, and I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy it since I've spent a while on this (I started writing and never finished).
Warnings:smut 18+ Minors just dont interact, Smoking, Sexual thoughts, Cussing, Pet names, Teasing, Oral, Fingering, Slight mention of strap, Squirting
Everyone is aware that Ellie smokes; we have all seen it. Of course, there are also the dealer Ellie fics, which I absolutely love, but just picture Ellie making reader squirt for the first time while high!
Ellie calls you over for the "usual" hangout of smoking, fighting while playing the latest video game she purchased, exchanging lust-filled glances at each other, and taking turns going to the restroom to deal with your neediness so you don't pounce on one another. The typical predicament continues.
"Okay, how about a crash bandicoot?”
She places the joint between her soft pink lips and says, "I mean, it's whatever." Her fingers, god, her fingers, her hands, and how she flexes them after spending long hours writing or drawing, playing the guitar, rolling blunts and joints—you could go on and on...and on—is almost down to her fingers when she takes another drag.
You two have long been "friends." Everyone in town knows that you and Ellie are more than "just friends", but as far as the relationship goes, it isn't dating or just a friendship, and that kills you. You like Ellie; you really like her, and smoking enhances that feeling toward her. Additionally, it also helps to want to get pounded by her right on the couch.
She had already loaded the game and begun playing while you were still deep in thought. She was so engrossed in her game that you could see her thumbs and fingers pressing and moving the various buttons. "I'm going to get a snack, Els. You want something." She gave a brief glance over, not straining her head from facing the TV. Her gaze seemed to remain fixed on your body as you stood up, pressing your thighs together as you did so.
"Yeah..." You entered the kitchen in search of a bite to quell your hunger. You discovered cookies, popcorn, Cheezits, and wet wipes after searching the cabinets. Why were wet wipes kept in the snack cabinet?
“Ellie?” You gave her a concerned-confused look as she held up the wipes.
“What?” She looked at you, and you just waved around the wipes.
"Uh, well, keep the ants away.”
“Where the fuck did you hear that?”
“I read it or something somewhere... But that isn't a snack, bubs.” Obviously, the wet wipes weren't a snack. You walk over to her and straddle her lap.
"I'm not going to make you eat the wet wipes." Your thoughts had returned to what had just been said a few moments prior: "Wait, Ellie Williams, do you have ants!?" She gave you a dumbfounded look like a middle school boy who had just been scolded. "You have ants when you were about to let us eat food from your cupboard?"
"Calm down, baby. The wet wipes carried out their duties."
"And how do you know that?"
"I didnt hear any screaming that you saw an ant," she said. She shifted into a new position, pushing her hips a up little higher. You noticed this bump or something rigid. None of those properly expresses what you felt. The bulge in her pants was pressing directly on your clit while you were seated on Ellie's lap. You were soaked through, which was unfortunate for you. You were wet before, of course, but now it was leaking through.
Ellie picked you up and set you down next to her, but she quickly noticed the mess you had made beneath yourself. "You, um, do you need any help with..." you nodded quickly in order to get to you something you have been waiting ages for while also stopping her from finishing her sentence she laid you down in front of her, lifted up your skirt to let it rest on your torso, and pulled off the green underwear you had chosen to wear that day, which of course would need to be washed. "Just relax for me; it is okay, I’l make it feel good, promise". You trusted her i mean why wouldnt you- your trusted ellie with yourself at least, so when she kept kissing the inside of your thighs, you didn't question, but you did whine.
“Els please”
"Right, I'm sorry." She gave you her silly little smile before returning to her task at hand. Her lips were almost immediately attached to your clit. You whimpered and gasped loudly from her movements. The effects of the weed haven't faded quite yet, making all of Ellie's movements feel 10 times better, but let's be real, it's Ellie fucking Williams, and you've been wainting for this forever.
“E-el-” She slid her agile, calloused fingers into your cunt, causing you to let out an exasperated gasp, followed by a loud moan. You tilted your head forward to see her face. Her eyes were stuck to the way you just kept dripping and how her fingers were being swallowed up so easily.
“Ive got you, babe. Lay back for me. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?" Responding to her request, you nod and lay down. The pace of her fingers quickens, and she hits a spot that makes your head feel light and your tummy coil.
"Els, please." Ellies, ignoring your pleads, having lust take over. Completely, you feel yourself about to let go at any minute, any second, but it's not like all the times you've fingered yourself to the thought of her before. Ellie's mouth on your clit, her fingers thrusting out of you, you moan louder than you even knew your voice could handle. She continued quickening her pace until she drained everything out of you. You “came” all over her hands, face, and couch. She pulled her head back and paused for a moment. “I-I am so sorry, I didn't mean.”
She places her finger over your mouth to hush your apologies. "It's alright, angel; I know you couldn't help it.” You were embarrassed by your actions, but somehow, even though she had a big mess that she had to clean up, her reassuring words made everything fine. She leans right over you and places a kiss on your lips. “I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I know that I'm in love with you. I love you, bubs.”
"I love you too Els."
#the last of us 2#ellie williams#ellie williams fic#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#the last of us ellie#the last of us smut#tlou part 2
384 notes
·
View notes
Text
he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)
{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }
Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use
{ now with an epilogue }
A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.
"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.
"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.
"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.
"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.
"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"
"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."
Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.
"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.
"I will try, that's all I can do."
By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.
Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.
"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"
Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -
"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.
"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.
Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.
Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.
"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.
The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.
"Sure, Fi."
A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.
"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.
Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.
"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.
"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.
"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"
Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.
"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"
A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.
"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."
Oh, you're going to be sick.
It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.
There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.
Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.
Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.
Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.
"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.
There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.
All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.
"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.
"No, its okay Ollie."
"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."
But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.
"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"
Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.
"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.
"It's all I know how to be!"
"I know, pet, I know."
Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.
After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.
"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.
And he's already drunk.
Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.
At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.
"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.
"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.
"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.
"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."
"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.
However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.
"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.
"I can try."
"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.
"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.
"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."
You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;
"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."
And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.
With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.
"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.
"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."
"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.
"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."
"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"
"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."
"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.
"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."
"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.
"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.
Then he's gone.
Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.
The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.
"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.
"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"
"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.
"That why you're here?"
"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.
"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.
"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"
"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"
"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.
"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"
"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.
"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"
"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"
"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.
"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.
"Fi -"
"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."
"Fi, please -"
"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.
The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -
Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.
"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.
The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.
"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.
"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.
"Worried you'll get lost?"
"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."
"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."
You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.
"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."
So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.
"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.
As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.
You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.
Except...
Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -
Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.
But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.
When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.
"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."
And he leaves.
Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.
"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.
"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.
"You didn't talk to them last night?"
"I was talking to them a lot last night -"
"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."
Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.
It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.
"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.
"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.
Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.
"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."
The world stops.
Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.
"I thought you were fucking better than this!"
His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.
"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."
"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.
Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.
Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.
None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.
"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.
"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.
"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."
Small steps to victory.
At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.
They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.
"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."
It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.
"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.
"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.
"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."
Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.
But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.
{ epilogue }
#felix catton x reader x oliver quick#saltburn x reader#felix catton x reader#saltburn imagine#felix catton imagine#felix catton x you#oliver quick x reader#felix catton x y/n#oliver quick imagine#oliver quick x you#oliver quick x y/n#head heart hand fic#manic writer
286 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like that we finally get to see what pushes alastors buttons in episode five.
we actually see him mad. you can argue that with vox hes also mad at the end of their song in 'stayed gone' but it doesnt really seem like that. its him threatening vox yes but in the end hes not mad. he isnt really losing his cool. its him basically just saying that hes still in charge
also throughout their whole song alastor doesnt really provoke vox, hes passive aggressive. never interrupting him and when their screens are split and he only pokes him once yet that one time was enough to send vox and black out the entirety of hell (although this mightve been alastor)
throughout the entiry of their song vox is constantly trying to block alastor to say 'he isnt a threat hes a nobody' but as we can see he's clearly failing. and as with each passing second vox gets more annoyed and as i said. he ends up causing a MASSIVE blackout one that takes over all of hell
throughout this entire time though alastor doesnt flinch. he doesnt fight for the spotlight because he doesnt need it. vox is making a fool of himself like alastor probably expects him to based on past encounters that we dont see.
yet with lucifer they probably have some sort of history.
alastor actually feels somewhat threatened/doesnt want lucifer there (whether if lilith told him not to assuming that he owes his soul to lilith but you get the point). he wants lucifer gone. not only that but hes pushing him saying that hes basically like a father to charlie already.
alastor is trying to replace lucifer but remember that lucifer not only the king of the pride ring (i forgot the terminology alr-) but hes also the king of hell.
despite lucifer acting like a joke in the singular episode that we see him in he is the most powerful being in hell. hes more powerful than lilith or charlie (and once again assuming that lilith owns alastor a pretty damn powerful being shes really fucking powerful).
if lucifer wants he could probably obliterate alastor in less than a damn second, yet he doesnt for a few reasons
hes important to charlie
hes important to what charlies doing
this basically gives alastor invincibility against lucifer going bonkers on him and killing him. then again why doesnt lucifer just help charlie? well hes probably got more important things to do (despite what we saw of him) and hes given up on the sinners.
he gave them freewill and never got to see the good done with it. he most likely never saw the people who went to heaven so for all he knows everyone ended up down in hell and are doing shit things with what he gave them.
he most likely wants them gone and wants the extermination to happen because he thinks that they dont deserve a second chance unlike his daughter. but remember that he also loves charlie, thats his fucking daughter and when she calls him he gets excited he wants charlie to like him. but that being said he doesnt think the sinners deserve his kindness anymore after they took his gift and basically made a fool of him.
so lucifer wont help charlie so he just has alastor help her instead to keep her happy.
not only this but in the song 'hells greatest dad' (i think its called that) unlike in 'stayed gone' theyre both fighting for attention. charlies attention.
once again we dont know what beef theyve got with each other but its most likely because of either the past or whether or not that lilith owns alastor and told him to fuck with lucifer.
in this scene we see the color constantly change and them constantly kicking each other out with them both losing their cool and making a fool of themselves. theyre an actual match for each other
lucifer is an actual threat and so is alastor for reasons that we dont know yet. this makes them have to prove their worth to charlie over whos more powerful and who can help her more because even though lucifer doesnt want to help the sinners (and most likely wont) he wants to make her happy.
and even though we dont know why alastor hates lucifer its probably most likely to do with whoever owns his soul and whatnot along with he needs lucifer just out of the picture and that isnt as easy to do as he'd like.
also damn did this become a rant and get off topic-
#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel theory#kinda#lucifer morningstar#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#charlie morningstar#charlie hazbin hotel#hazbin#character study#character analysis#character essay#not really but might as well be that
245 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'd love to see a sub version of Ivette... cute creepy guy who's so hot and wet he can barely stand right when you're around
Maybe he has black hair to contrast with Ivette, or white hair to further the trope, gross perverted creep who looks like an angel
creep subbot ftm;; kasen x m domtop reader
white hair subbot creep vs white hair dombot ivette…. whos winnin thr squirt off Fr. can't decide black or white hair but ,,, gross perverted creep who looks like angel,,, >> i'll go with that for now :3 cw;; somnophilia,, pretty much,,, overall weirdo i cant stress this enough
you shouldve been a little weirded out when he applied to be your roommate,, not questioning at all why he wouldn't look you in the eye, why he was so blushy, why he kept rubbing his thighs together,,, but you weren't the least bit curious - this fella was probably just a nervous wreck, riddled with social anxiety? he's so cute,,. you were too ecstatic to have a roommate to see his trembling, nervous figure stumbling around as you gave him a lame tour, showing him around briefly in person rather than the pictures you provided.,, kasen was so happy. so fucking happy - it was gonna be so easy now.. easy to sniff and rub his scent all on your clothes while ur away at class or work.. rather than sneaking in through your window like he usually does,,, he's an agile fella, and you made it easier for him by keeping your windows propped open for a breeze. you must want him as bad as he wants you, huh… you can't fool him!!!
he's your roommate..!! still marveling at the fact, hidden in the bathroom and thighs rubbing together and needing to change his underwear that's sopping with his mess, unable to get through the “tour” - god he cant even be around you without making a complete fucking mess of himself,, he cant help it!!! he strips them off, pulling his pants back on and planning to hide them at the bottom of your underwear drawer or even in your pillowcase,,, he's just infatuated - your charismatic personality, so eager to make friends with him.. so polite…
you saw him as your best friend - your shy little buddy, who is still ever so bashful when talking to you after several months of being with one another,, you're trying your best to help him be comfortable, to come out of his shell.. he commends you, really,, you're so kind to him, he can't help it,,, he just can't act natural with his pussy aching for you !! kasen thought he would have mustered up the courage to do something - anything after several months,, but alas..! it aches, aches so painfully for your cock,,, wondering what it feels like, what it smells like - ( not having it in him to take a peek while ur sleeping,,,) pussy secreting and lubing up his puffy pink lips, accentuated by his white pubes that he makes sure is carefully trimmed, just to look pretty in case you walk in on him fingering himself in his bed,, god hes so weird. you dont even really talk about love, or liking someone.. why is kasen so sure that you're totally fucking in love with him?? he's sure.. he's positively sure that he's heard you moaning his name while masturbating… or was that a daydream? his mind tends to blend in with reality..
crying to you about rumors about him being a disgusting pervert around school that he started up, just to be held and comforted by you.. cuddling him on the couch, consoling him gently, “you'd never do such a thing, i believe you bro..” before putting on a movie to help distract him. falling asleep in the middle of it, snoring gently in his ear.. when he's sure you're asleep, fingering himself while simultaneously pressing his ass against your crotch,,, a freak.
imagine your surprise when you come home to find the slim white-haired man fingering himself in your shirt, on your bed. i mean, the first instinct is to throw hands, right?? but it would be utterly awkward to fight this guy,, his hands wet with his juices, lower half completely bare, thighs squeezing around his wrist as he whimpers into your pillow - before he began squealing in surprise, ripping his fingers from his pussy and sitting upward, amber eyes glittery with tears - you cringe. kasen was mildly infuriated - he was just about to cum. what's the harm in continuing? you were just standing there, watching... and he's somehow the freak??? “... i guess they werent kidding about those rumors..” you frowned, eyes narrowed before you were rubbing a hand over your face. out of disappointment? maybe. it ruins kasen,,, but. it seems like he likes that sort of thing, being in pain. humiliated,,, “but, man.. you sure are a cute motherfucker..” you huff, shaking your head and tsk-ing..
“please,,, don't - don't hurt me..” play the victim,, act innocent as you can, kasen,,, “i just like you so much,, i-i love you, even…” he'd murmur, tearfully choked up as he shifts his knees inside the shirt he was wearing. that was literally on the top of your dirty clothes.. what a little weirdo.
“yeah.. yeah alright.” you nod, ruffling your hair with a tired expression,, kasen was right after all, you had been jerking off to his cute little blushy face,, how could you not, having such a cute lil roommate?? and now, on your bed and in your shirt, so painfully close to cumming? you obviously take advantage of this.. slowly edging toward him, sitting on your bed and nonchalantly ignoring kasen before pulling him on ur lap, arm wrapped around his neck while ur hand trails down to his lips to which he immediately fixes his legs to spread open - fidgeting, just because he's so happy and excited, mewling and whimpering like an excited puppy,, slowly fingering him, humming in contentment at how slick he is, how easily ur fingers fit before scissoring dutifully and thumbing his clit,,,,
he'd be into some masochistic shit.. wanting to be insulted.. “ur pussy is the only thing ur good for, you disgusting fucking freak,,,,” type shit. makes him cum relatively easy,, but otherwise sobs after, questioning in a squeaky voice - “is my pussy really my only good quality????? don't you love me for me????” like an insecure gf. or bf, rather… which you quickly assure in a tired voice;; “yes, sweetie i love all of your qualities,” and listing them all just to assure him or else he'd continue to cry while rubbing himself on ur thigh with his face buried in ur neck. LOL
#ocs =͟͟͞͞★#x male reader#male reader#top male reader#dom male reader#x dom male reader#x top male reader#sub male character#bottom male character#subbot male character c:
308 notes
·
View notes
Text
So uhhh
Twisted Wonderland Yandere Purge AU
The ideas here stem from @yanderemommabean and @blughxreader for the og creator and some excellent world biulding- so here I am- just adding this to a gay ass mobile game
Yan Twst students x Reader
Twisted Wonderland, is a... odd world. Filled with magic, odd creatures, and the sort. It's the perfect place for a loner nerd like yourself to be!
The school and the land in itself feels so nostalgic to you. Things that you learn about each town, city, and country, just make all sorts of sence to you.
Then... you got 22 red letters. Grabbing one at random you open it to read the contents of what's inside.
Dear Shrimpy♡
Here we have this thing called the Purge. It's comes from the rose place, so we also do it here since teens tend to often get someone they adore so much that they just rip out the troats of whoever they talk to♡
Whops~ I said the quiet part out loud~
Do wait nicely for me when the day comes, it be soon♡ I can't wait to squeeze you tightly and keep you close forever♡
Love,
Your favorite Eel♡
Ok- the purge. In this fuckin Disney ass world?- do they even own that- I guess they own half of all media so MAYBE- (nope, it's own by Universal)
Opening the other letters there was more talking about this purge, and how that they are going to keep you here forever and keep you safe.
What the fuck?-
Grim was in the corner happily snacking on 22 tuna cans.
"Grim"
"What is it henchman, can't you see I'm haveibg the feast if a lifetime!"
"Uh-huh- and- do tell me- who gave you all that tuna?"
"You know- all the guys that we helped out and kicked the asses of"
"..."
"Yeah- along with Ace and Deuce. They seemed to be getting along- witch was odd'
"Crap they are teaming up- oh no- that means-" others are probably teaming up too-
Not good not good-
Let's see here so it's people that I know-
We have Floyd as 'your favorite Eel' and he called me Shrimpy so obvious giveaway-
Fuck Tsunataro also signed it in his Nickname and called me child of man. He dosent know much about this, so thar could be either safe or very dangerous
Two your queens- oddly enough- but probably Vil and Riddle
One that called me Waifu/Husabando/Spouseu signed by Gloomurai
A big sis/bro/sib from someone, seemingly young so maybe ortho- witch isn't at all good
Two knights, one calling me their dream
One written in shakespirian for whatever reason
... I just realized this one has feathers and a shit ton of money in it and called me their jewl
One of the more scaryer ones just says I'm comeing, dont fight it
And more oddities.
Well, might aswell use that cash that, maybe Kalim? Sent me to get some defense. Or maybe bribe Azul- scraych that, Floyd and Jade are after me.
I don't want to hide in town and get them hurt...
Oh what to do- what to do-
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Child of man?"
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE OTHER WOMAN
Pairings- Theodore Nott x female! Reader
Summary- You've always known deep down that you were infact the other woman but you didn't expect it to have it spelled out infront of you
📍First time writing angst so please give tips or suggestions for other fics :3
Angst w/o comfort :3 Masterlist
You knew about it all along but you didn't expect it to hurt as much.
It hurt because you realized you just one of his many choices, you were just lucky you got picked
It really was tiring thinking if you were good enough, thinking if you could even compare to her. You did not in the slightest way, and right now it has never been clearer.
"Teddy, you wanna hang out tomorrow? Ive got a movie day plan for us"
"Dont call me that. And no i can't im busy."
"Oh then when are you free?"
"Fucking hell y/n you're so annoying can you shut the fuck up?"
"Oh sorry"
"God i don't even know why i put up with you"
With that he left the room, leaving you with tears spilling from your eyes.
You've been trying to reach out to him doing anything you could to get his attention. All he did was scoff or walk away.
While you were taking a walk in god knows where you saw a flower thag reminded you of him. Theodore.
You couldn't help but smile sadly because while you're out here thinking of him, he's out there not sparing you a thought.
It doesn't matter though, he'll come around. He'll love you as much as you love him. Right?
.
.
.
.
A day went by, and you've heard just now that he's been in a fight. You suddenly got worried and rushed your way to the hospital wing which people said he was getting healed in.
On the way, you saw him.
'Oh god im glad he's ok.' You thought but then you saw her with him
Oh.
You ran away as fast as possible before they could see you
Then finally your pandoras box has been opened.
It really was pathetic on how you thought you could really be the one for him.
You thought you would be the one to make him smile and laugh like he was right now. With her.
It was pathetic TRULY pathetic.
Who were YOU to make him feel that way? You were nothing, a nobody. You just got lucky
Its was pitiful that YOU thought you could change him, fix him, love him.
You couldn't, you never could and you never will. Because you were a no one.
No one in comparison to him.
He was everything and you were nothing.
You really were never enough and you were a fool to believe that there was a chance, a little chance that you were.
You were a fool, an idiot to fall to his charms, to his sweet whispers, to his promises, to his capability of actually falling in love, with YOU.
You were in a delusional state to think that the both of you would actually work.
Then you realized, every time he would cancle or say he was 'busy' He was probably out with her.
You were that replacable. No.
You were never the 1st choice to begin with.
You were nothing to be replaced. You werent anything to be replaced. YOU werent worth ANYTHING, to be replaced and he made it known the very next day.
.
.
.
While passing through the hall you saw him, with her. Showing her around like a trophy.
It hurts because he didnt even do that to you. He said,
"I want to keep us a secret because i dont want anyone stealing you away from me"
what a fool you were to believe that.
Unfortunatley he spotted you and stared for a while. And to add she noticed.
"Teddy, do you know her?"
"No my love, just some delusional girl that annoyed me before"
Oh.
He never saw you as anything but a plaything. He just liked the attention you gave him. The feeling you gave him.
It was all it was. You were just something that boosted his ego because after all,
Who were you to love him?
.
.
.
.
Fin (?)
#harry potter#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#harry potter x reader#harry potter x y/n#harry potter x you#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott x you#Spotify
173 notes
·
View notes
Note
ok ok i’ve had this thought for so long ,, so modern!ellie and dina (who are already together) needing a roommate to help with rent, which so happens to be you. and they instantly love u (ofc) ,, one night you hear them fucking soooo loud and you can’t sleep ,, you go into their room and tell them to pls stfu ,, ellie apologizes but dina’s just like “wanna join ;)))” and so u do 😋
Your mind 😮💨.
Cw: smut with a bit of plot lol, cunt eating, threesome, kissing, blablabla
Its been a month since you became their roommate, both needing a third to pay with the rent, the place was too good to let it go.
Two bathroom two bedrooms, a studio, a lot of storage space and very near your school and work.
At first it was awkward moving with an already established couple, both girls incredibly attractive and nice.
However as time went by the three of you naturally became a costumed to each others schedules, melting and molding together to create a warm and safe environment.
Home.
All that was nice, it truly was, the rent was good, the place was good, you were saving in transportation due to being able to walk from your house to your school. But, there was a big problem.
Which was only for you of course.
The girlies, lets say…
They weren’t exactly the quiet type when it came to their affairs.
And today wasn’t the exemption.
Dina was moaning Ellie’s name like it depended on her life and the grunts Ellie gave in response were sinful.
But you needed to study for your fucking upcoming test and it was bothering you to no end.
So without shame you walked to their room.
Knocking one time
Two times
Three times
They didn’t stop, they didn’t opened the door and their moans were eventually louder and louder.
So you opened the door.
The view had you squirming.
Dina was sitting in the bed, Pretty opened legs displayed for Ellie who was eating her like a starved woman.
“Could you please shut the fuck up or fuck quieter?!” Your voice desperate and whiny, you were just so tired.
Both looked to the door, you stood there, relaxing at the frame trying not to fall to your knees.
“You look like shit” Ellies words coming out as a joke that you didn’t took with grace.
“Baby, she looks very tired” Dina said, standing up from the bed which made Ellie groan.
“Come here doll, why dont you… join us” her eyes traveled to Ellie while holding your hands on hers.
“Yeah, i mean, we could help you feel better” she was habitant, trying to think with her mind and not with her palpitating clit thinking of you both naked for her while she took turns eating both out.
The pussy won.
And yours did too.
Because as soon as Ellie said that you took your shirt off, no bra. “Bet” you murmured taking off you sleeping sweats, no panties.
Dina squirmed at the thought of you not wearing underwear around the house when they were around.
She took you to the bed, making you rest there.
Her mouth fell to yours and Ellie almost creamed at that.
Skilful tongues fighting to explore each other mouths.
Ellie massage all your body, sucking on your tits while her hand meet Dinas, massaging and kneading the other one.
You shifted on the bed, trying to hold a moan back.
Dina separated from you mouth, taking Ellie by her chin, dragging her to you and she was so excited to taste you.
It wasn’t a secret that both find you very attractive when you came to check the place, and dirty talks since then about this moment flew casually while fucking or making out.
But this was better.
Open mouth kiss, she went for it, inserting her tongue on your mouth and you sucked on it, she moved her hand down to your wet cunt but met Dinas hand already there, ready to touch you.
She was the first one to taste your pussy, as soon as she saw your creamy lips she needed a tastes, she latched on to them like her life depended on it.
While Dina took your face on her hand. “You have to pay cause you interrupted my last orgasm” she said while straddling you around your neck.
Your big doe eyes glued ti her face, her pretty tits on display for you.
Ass sprawled so Ellie could see.
“Let me make it up to you pretty please” your words where falling from your lips, hands travelling up and down her pretty legs but as soon as you finished your sentence you dragged her down to you face.
The way she was riding your face while Ellie was eating you out almost left you breathless.
But the three of you continued, moving from who to please to the other person, marking, spanking, tasting and touching every part of each other’s bodies.
I am very tired from work so this is shorter than i would’ve like, hope you enjoy
#ellie williams#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x female reader#the last of us#lesbian#dina x fem reader#dina x ellie#dina x y/n#dina x reader#ellie x dina#dina smut#reader is female
853 notes
·
View notes
Text
Serenade Pt.2 (Zoro x Siren!Reader)
Since you guys really liked the first part here's a continuation of it! thanks fo rall your support and dont forget my indox/asks are open! id be happy to write for you all!
Warnings: 18+ this has some smutty scenes. uhhh usual p in v, touching, kissing, begging and not from who you think lol, deepthroating, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slight choking
anyway,
Enjoy!
Pt.1 Found Here
"Let me taste you."
The request makes him groan, head falling forward and into he crook of your neck as he fights to keep his desire at bay. Every reaction he gave proved to be sweeter than anything you ever tasted. The way his tanned face tints a dark red, how he's trying to refrain from whimpering, from being soft and submissive with you.
‘This had to be an illusion right?’ He thinks to himself, trying to steady his breathing when you palm him through the thin fabric of his pants.
No, this was very real. So real that the slight pinch from your teeth trying desperately not to sink into his neck is the only thing keeping him from feeling completely blissed out.
What have you done to him? He thinks again, not being able to fight the rather loud moan that escaped past his glossy lips. Swears slip into the air as you purr against his jaw, peppering kisses there.
"Aweee does that feel good baby?" You tease, using your thumb to push down on the tip, precum already leaking onto your hands.
"FFFuck. Yeah." Zoro growls, hips bucking upward as you bite your lip in response.
Part of him wants to beg but gods, the last thing he needs and wants is to feed into your ego. He can't help it though, something about that dark look in your eyes, and the way you're handling him like he's...easy, does something to him, makes his brain foggy. Fuck. There you go again, being absolutely filthy and there he is, loving every minute of it.
He watches as you sink to your knees, then lick from base to tip, tongue longer than he expected. Damn Siren. Your eyes never leave him and you can see his adams apple bob when he swallows.
His knuckles are white from gripping the counter so damn hard, and he feels like he'll break it when you take him to the back of your throat so easily. Only the wet sound of your slobbering and his hoarse moans combined with the ocean waves below fill the space
He frees the counter, throwing his finger into your hair, tangling it further when he tries to gain some control, and thrusts forward. You're practically swallowing him down, his hips bucking uncontrollably at the feeling.
What really makes him melt is when you remove one of his hands from our scalp and hold it, knowing he was creeping closer and closer to cumming down your throat.
"Feels so good. Just like that y/n, don't stop." He whines, continuing to fuck your face, pace quickening when you somehow open wider and let your tongue lull out.
How had you not gagged yet??? He doesn't bother trying to answer when he's already seeing stars behind his eyes, the warmth of his cum sliding down your throat and mixing with the saliva that drips down your chin. Fuck, had you swallowed? All of it?!
You stand, reciprocating that same tight-fisted grip he had on your hair to him, and pressing your lips to his, the kiss ferish and rough.
"I can't wait to see you all fucked out under me." You promise, shoving him back further, a gasp slipping past his lips when you do.
"W-Wait-" He whines, protests cut short when he feels his tip slide against your warm, wet folds.
"Can't handle me?" You question, just barely sliding up and down his length while you straddled him.
Damn you were something dangerous, he was still weak from literally 2 minutes ago. Despite this little fact, he was dying to be inside you, feel you squeeze down on him, milk him even more than your throat already had.
And gods was he was cursing himself for liking how much control you had over him. This definitely had to do with your stupid siren abilities. You'd lulled him to rest once and now you were going to fuck him to sleep.
"No, thats not it, fuck-" Zoro groans, finally feeling you slide down, your walls sucking him in as he grips the plush of your ass, helping you to ride him with proficiency. It’s your turn to moan now, the curve of his dick hitting you just right. Soooo deep. Your eyes roll back, hair cascading over your shoulders and down your back when your this your head back with a moan he’d only ever heard in his dreams.
“So beautiful, my girl is so beautiful.”
He hardly realizes he said it out loud until your look at him with glossy, anxiety filled hues. Shit, he couldn’t help but whine when you looked at him like that.
“Y-Yours?” You question? Almost pleading for the answer to be yes.
He had no problems repeating himself when you were fucking him like this, rolling your hips slower now, far more calculated after his confession.
You lift a bit, almost having him slide completely out but he only slams you back down. Your nails dig into his shoulders, you mouth falling open in a silent scream with your eyes screwed shut. So full.
“Mine.”
How you had switched position was a blur to you, it didn’t matter though, because he’s got you laying flat, his hips snapping into yours with your legs thrown over his shoulders.
“Your mine. This pussy is mine. All fucking mine.” He growls, intertwining your fingers far more intimately than you are expecting.
All you can do is take it now, letting any an all control melt away as you give in to him, it’s his turn now. And he wastes no time taking advantage. Zoro’s multitasking, lips all over your supple skin, leaving bruises and bites of all kinds there.
You can feel yourself squeeze down particularly hard, that familiar bundle of nerves finally giving in and your stomach clenches. He doesn’t stop though, fucking you all the while through your organs until he’s twitching and trembling form his own. Unsuccessfully pulling out, he managed to paint not only your insides but your thighs and part of your stomach.
He’s not spent yet, still half hard and resting against your thigh. Your fingers are still lock together and for a moment there’s a silence. Your breaths no longer raged, just the slight breeze and the ocean waves. And you see him.
His face slightly red, sweat beading against his forehead despite it being somewhat cool tonight. He’s got some freckles littering his skin, not his face but just a few dotting his shoulders and chest.
His earrings sway a bit when he blinks whatever unwanted though away and you can’t help but let your free had cup his cheek. Zoro can’t help but lean into it, closing his eyes at the gentle touch, the warmth.
You lean upwards, a softer kiss planted against his semi swollen lips. And he leans into that too, pulling you closer, wrapping around you, somehow accidentally teen trying you. Your both gasp, keeping your eyes shut.
He thrusts slower now, the wet squelching of your fluids and his sliding down your thighs and coating his front. It’s filthy, but so so intimate, the fact that he’s fucking some of his cum into you, and hopefully preparing to leave more.
“Zoro.” You mewl, holding the back of his neck as your foreheads press together.
“Say it again. Let me hear it again baby, please.” He huffs, rubbing slow and agonizing circles over your clit. How whine, trying to meet each of his thrusts with your hips.
“Zoro.” You repeat, closer to his ear now, moaning it out as the tones Sind into his bloodstream.
You don’t stop though, both of you feeling closer than ever, and his name is on your lips like a prayer. He praised you, commending you for hos good you’re being, how well you take his cock. He makes sure you know who you belong to because right as you teeter off the edge he holds you impossible close and says…..
“You’re mine.”
And who were you to disagree?
___________________________________________
You both laid out on the deck, the sun rising alarming you only a little bit because that means the crew would finally be awake. That same silence is over the two of you, his arms wars lord around your worn body, the bites and hickeys falling darker now after being felt alone for a while.
He wasn’t good with tension. Unanswered questions that just hung in the air until push came to shove. His heavy breath was proof enough.
“If you’re wondering what this makes us….that’s up to you. Nami said I’d have my teeth in your throat. Did that, obviously.” You hum, turning to face him.
He only purses his lips and tests his chin on top of your head.
“Nami says a lot of things. I already spoke my piece. You’re mine. And I don’t just say things for fun.” He explains, squeezing you tighter almost.
You don’t reply, knowing that you wouldn’t get far in an argument about wherever or not he had possession of you. He did, it didn’t need to be stated out loud.
After all, you had done a job far better than you imagined. Who knew a simple serenade you have caught yourself more than a meal.
Taglist: @aesthetic-bbyg @nxxun-blog @saltyfriendsaladbandit
#x reader#i don't care he's hot#one piece#one piece live action#headcannons#smut#zoro one piece live action#one piece x reader#zoro roronoa x reader#one piece zoro#one piece zoro x reader#opla zoro#opla zoro x reader#reader is a siren#reader is black#one piece live adaptation
261 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝. . . Next door neighboor (i cant spell) Chuuya au????? like he moves in cause he's on a mission for a LENGTHLY period of time and he's like RIGHT next door to you?????? Any thoughts????
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: I rushed this I do not like how I wrote this but it's wtv
𝐜𝐰𝐬: 6 month mission, grumpy chu, mentioned: hook ups/sex, arguments, talking it out, ambiguous ending
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who's absolutely fucking pissed about this 6 month long mission that was assigned to him by mori. When he questions about the mission's whereabouts, he gets even more cranky when he's told that the mission takes place outside of Japan.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who packs all of his luxurious items in multiple suitcases — if he was going to stay abroad for some time, might as well make the most of it, right? It's a practical free vacation if he gets his mission done sooner than later.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who grumbles when he finds out that the place he's staying in is a mediocre apartment meant for the middle class — hell, he might even say lower middle class like the asshole he is.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who stays up all night learning customs and local greetings before walking around the building, introducing himself — his favorite person to chat up being his next-door neighbor.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who accepts your offer to help him move in, after all why should he trudge all that luggage around alone when people around are willing to help him?
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who invites you out to lunch as a thank you for helping him out the other day — well, being the only one who helped him out.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who, out of everyone, now talks to you the most. Whenever he'd get invited out by other people, he would always knock on your door first to see if you wanted to tag along.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya whose face lights up when you accept his invitation and proceeds to drag you half out of your apartment before realizing that you needed to get dressed too. He waits for you patiently on your couch as he visualizes what you might wear.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who doesn't forget that he has a job to do, and always declines your offers to hang out at night — his mission requires night stalking, which is something that you don't need to be involved with.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who could feel your growing suspicion as each day passed by — him always finding excuse after excuse that narrows your lead.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who makes friends with your friends easily when you decide to do a ‘get together’ at your place. But that doesn't deter his attention away from you for one second — not even with the amount of flirtatious comments coming his way.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who hooks up with you one lonely night — a bottle of wine he brought over to your place one day. Too drunk to properly think, chuuya starts making advances in which you reciprocate.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who isn't shocked when you slam the door in his face after finding out about his true motive for being there. Despite his explanations, it doesn't change the fact that you felt betrayed and heartbroken.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who has left you alone since that day — your fight probably meant nothing to him; a cold-hearted mafioso.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who doesn't think the same way and sends you flowers/gifts anonymously to your front door step.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who, by the 6th month, finally shows up to your door one day and forces himself inside to sit you down and talk to you.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who offers to take you back with him once his mission is over — he knew it wasn't gonna be easy by the look on your face. So over the next few weeks of his stay, he brings it up again.
Next-door neighbor!chuuya who gave you one last night of pure pleasurable bliss before he packed up and the next morning and left — did you choose to go with him?
belong to @churuai DONT STEAL >:((
taglist (free to join!): @luvan1 @evilchuya @asqmi @squigglewigglewoo @liviash @doonifox @ishqani
#[🍓] — library#this is so shit yet i took so long with this im sry nonnie😭💔#chuuya x reader#chuya x reader#chuuya x you#chuuya x y/n#bsd x reader#[☆] — anon
141 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lunchmonkey64
Price: High to Low
dorckus
...
maximumsuccess
Maximum Success
scarfglass55
How Long Does It Take To Produce Website?
is2cole
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀