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fanfictrashdump · 3 years

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Universe in a Jar - Phase 4 fic

OK. I did something. A few days ago I reblogged this post about the magical trio. And then my brain went off on a monumental tangent and this happened. It’s not my fault, really– Loki is my all-time fave, Wanda could murder me and I’d thank her and Stephen is a smart, sassy bitch... all wins.

So, here, y’all can have it. I might leave it there or I might continue depending on my mood.

Characters: Stephen Strange, Loki, Wanda Maximoff, OC

Rating: T? Language!

Summary: Baby-sitting beings arguably more powerful than him goes awry for Doctor Strange. He knows one person who can possibly keep them isolated and out of trouble. Well, he knew someone who could... he hasn’t seen them in decades and for stupid reasons.

"Wait here. No funny business."

Doctor Stephen Strange half-dragged himself upright to deliver the warning. The portal-hopping and timeline clipping involved in the last twelve hours–if he could even call them that–of his life had really taken it out of him. Who knew fixing tears in the time-space continuum was so exhausting? Doctor Who made it look like a breeze!

Setting his companions with one last threatening glare, he walked up to a faded, run down apartment door with a crooked six hanging just above the knocker. In all honesty, the place looked even worse than what he had anticipated when the hospital directory gave him the address. Still, he knew he had made it here for a reason, despite the fact his stomach was roiling and begging him to reconsider. This was his Hail Mary. Tightening his jaw and frowning himself into another set of early wrinkles, he pounded the wooden entrance so hard the six righted itself.

A minute or so later, the door swung open, a woman filling the empty frame just long enough to lay eyes on the doctor.

"Nope."

The door slammed shut with a noisy shudder just as Stephen opened his mouth. He swallowed the dozen or so expletives that were threatening to wriggle themselves free from his throat. Instead, he straightened his hoodie, loosened his neck with an audible crack, and took a deep breath before the side of his fist struck the door four times.

Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

Silence.

Stillness.

His companions beginning to titter in the background because for all his pomp and attitude and the timelines are not to be meddled with–I am the Sorcerer Supreme, he could not get a single human to open the door.

Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

His teeth ground together harder in annoyance. "Seph! I have absolutely no problem in staying here all day. Making a fuss. Screaming at your door. Waking the neighbors. Being a nui–"

The door swung open, then. Stephen was met with a frown and eyes dark as storm clouds and for just a second he forgot why he was doing this. "What the fuck do you want?"

His expression softened under her glare, if only minimally. There was a reluctance in his frame that refused to give up even as he said the words. "I need help, Seph." His eyes flittered briefly over his shoulder and it was just long enough for the woman to notice that the sorcerer was not alone.

Standing on her tiptoes, she looked over his shoulder. Just down the harshly lit hallway, two figures–woman dressed in dark red and a man in an all black suit–stood watching the interaction and chattering among themselves. Her expression lightened just a fraction. "Who's the cutie?"

Stephen looked back, furrowing his brow and taking careful inspection of the other two before directing his attention back to the woman at the door. "Which one is the cutie?"

"Take your pick," she challenged back and even though his initial instinct was to roll his eyes and scoff, a little smirk tugged at his lips.

He whistled, gesturing the door with his head. His companions perked, if only due to sheer curiosity about this new person. "Wanda, Loki, meet Dr. Persephone Hale." He sighed, shoulders slumping in anticipation for what was to come out of his mouth. He gathered the most sincere look he could muster and held her gaze. "Please?"

A million expressions fluttered through her features, including a peculiar twitch of her nose he knew only happened when she was about to do something she really didn't want to. He tried not to celebrate the victory too soon. She was, after all, making him wait for it. After a moment of internal deliberation, she stepped aside and Strange signaled in no uncertain terms that the two needed to step inside.

"Thank you for having us. I'm sorry if we're intruding." Wanda looked tense as she spoke, like they had already had plenty of doors slammed in their face. Or perhaps she was just sensing the thoughts and emotions of their host and fearing the worst.

Seph waved her in. "It's not a problem. I am glad to help an Avenger and… an alien god." She offed them both a forced smile. "Where'd you leave the horns?"

Loki chuckled, straightening his suit. "They didn't go with the outfit. May I?"

"Of course. It's him I'm not crazy about."

The smile on Loki's face grew as he sidled past her, leaving Stephen to glare at them both. "Seph–"

"I don't care. I don't care about whatever excuse you're about to give me–"

"I'm sorry! I can't do anything else other than apologize."

"Yes, you're right. Why would the Sorcerer Supreme even bother with the lesser mortals?" With an icy glare, she turned on her heel and stomped into the apartment, though she left the door open in invitation.

Drawing a long sigh, Stephen reconsidered turning time back just ten minutes and foregoing this whole disaster before realizing he had no other choice, and so he followed her in and closed the door behind him.

The entrance hall of the tiny Bronx apartment melted away after a few steps, replacing stale summer air with a crisp country breeze. Faded blue flower-patterned wallpaper was familiar at first sight, as was the well-loved wooden stair banister, worn in places where the steps were squeaky from nights of trying to sneak in after curfew. Knick-knacks and pictures crammed into every possible space brought back memories that he had long since locked into the back of his mind and forgotten about. Everything within his line of sight brought with it a prickle and tingle of a life past but still haunting him, and he loved and hated it in equal measure.

"Who devised this portal? The work is rather formidable," Loki remarked, breaking the silence, in the closest thing to awe that any of the others had ever heard.

"Oh, i-it’s nothing impressive." Seph quipped, brushing away the compliment.

"So you studied alongside Strange, then?"

"No. Not magic, at least." Persephone gestured with her index around the room. "This is the only thing I can do."

"A feat like this without any of those silly rings that he needs? Impressive." He paced around, touching invisible seams and humming to himself. "With a little training you could do very well for yourself." Neither doctor could decide whether the tone he was using was encouraging or threatening.

"I don't think so," she replied, fidgeting in her oversized cardigan. "I was put off early on."

Despite the fact he was pointedly looking out the window, Stephen could tell Seph's gaze had fallen onto him. There were a million other things he would rather do than have that conversation–a root canal with no lidocaine, for example. He, instead, forced his focus on staring at the house sitting a couple of hundred meters away. The red trim of the roof was looking faded and the gutters were a little loose but it did not seem like the house was in total disrepair.

"I haven't been home in ages," he muttered, off-handedly.

"Oh! Weren't you born and raised in Manhattan? At least according to the Times, anyway." The sarcastic tone Persephone used made an uncomfortable weight press down into his stomach. He opted to count how many missing shingles there were on the roof.

"Ah, so there's history. That explains the dread at having to come to her door," Loki announced genially, clearly in need of some entertainment. "Wanda, you've lost our wager."

"Loki," Wanda warned, taking the time to fix him with a look before gesturing at the other two. They seemed to have been fighting a war entirely through stares.

"Which door leads outside?"

Seph rolled her eyes. "Which fucking door do you think leads outside, Stephen? I thought you were this hot shot genius doctor!"

"I am asking because that door," he gestured at the front door, "leads to the middle of nowhere in the Bronx."

"Then maybe don't take the door that leads to the Bronx, then, jackass. Or better yet, do. Until now, you've never had a problem finding a door away from me."

"That–" He killed the retort before it had a chance to meet the air and instead pivoted his questioning. "Is the key still under the mat?"

"I don't fucking know. Where did you leave the key twenty-whatever years ago you last graced your own doorstep?" With that last remark, she stormed off and up the stairs, cardigan billowing behind her, while Strange wrenched the back door open and threw himself into the field between the houses.

Wanda and Loki shared a look before making themselves scarce, elsewhere.

About an hour later, Wanda opened the door to what she presumed was the main bedroom and peeked inside. Persephone lay with her limbs splayed out, dark curls smushed on one side, blinking blankly at the ceiling. With a sigh, she opened the door a bit more and let herself in.

"I hope you don't mind. Loki and I made some tea. And he might have eaten a whole sleeve of Oreos."

Seph laughed despite her gloom and shuffled to sit up against the headboard. Wanda smiled, offering her an extra mug in her hand, steam billowing from the top invitingly. "Sorry. I've been a terrible hostess."

"You're more hostage than hostess at the moment. I don't blame you." Wanda sipped at her tea for a minute in tense silence. "So, when did you and Stephen date? And how did he fuck it up?"

The responding snort was heartfelt and led to a long laugh. "No. Stephen and I have never dated."

"But there is history."

She ruffled her curls back into shape, out of nervous habit more than concern, and sighed. "Hard not to have when you've known him all your life. He grew up in that house across the way."

"I assumed as much." She gave her an encouraging smile, like a mother coaxing her teen into conversation. It worked exceptionally well on Seph. "Come on. We were neighbors growing up does not cover the level of tension from earlier."

Seph shrugged. "We both wanted to be doctors. I followed him to the same schools, undergrad and med school. We were pretty much our own support system. His sister passed, and his parents, my mom. We always figured it out together–"

There was a bit of confusion in the witch's face. "OK. That sounds really sweet, though."

"–and then one day I told him a secret. I told him I could make doors go to other places and I showed him, and I haven't seen him since."

“Ah, right.” Wanda winced. "That… sucks."

"Yep." She popped the 'p' before sipping at her tea.

"But when he got into magic, surely he–?"

"Nope." She swallowed at a lump in her throat and pushed away the ball of emotions that thinking on that day was dredging up. "That day he said I was crazy, that I drugged him. I've never heard an apology but he somehow gets to be Sorcerer Supreme."

Wanda sighed, taking a long draw from her tea before adding. "Jeez, what a dick."

"I'm assuming this scrawny, little thing is him," Loki remarked from the door, startling both women. He held out a framed picture of four children. "I am assuming he was bullied on that haircut alone."

"No worse than being the only Black kid in school in a small town in rural Nebraska," Seph retorted with a wry grin. Loki considered and shrugged, sitting at the bottom of the bed with what appeared to be a pack of saltines. "That's his little brother, Victor. He's the taller kid. The girl is his sister, Donna. That's the last picture we took before Victor died."

"Didn't his sister die, as well?" Persephone nodded. "So, they've all died. Seems like he's a harbinger of bad luck. Maybe we'd do well to stay away," he quipped, tossing the picture onto the mattress.

"Yes, tell us about harbingers of bad luck, Mr. I've Died More Times Than I Can Remember," Wanda sassed back, much to the other two's amusement.

"I have a question, Lady Hale."

She wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Seph is fine, Loki."

"These portals, can you make them go anywhere?"

She shook her head. "Only places I've been to, sorry. Can't send you back to whatever planet you want to run off to."

He tsk'ed. "Well, it was worth a try."

"What did you two do to get stuck with the magic police?"

"Created a whole new reality by escaping my first arrest" "Held a whole town hostage in a fake TV show." They replied simultaneously.

"Fuck. No wonder he's desperate," Seph muttered to herself. "Why doesn't he just keep you in the fancy sorcerer place?"

"Too many artifacts to play with." "Too many books with dark magic."

"OK. He's clearly in over his head. No wonder he came here. There's no way he could keep you both controlled and contained without the..." She gestured around the room to signify the magic of her bubble.

"It's nice to let him pretend." Loki offered with a wink. "It's endearing."

Persephone laughed, sparing a passing thought to the idiot who didn't know what he got into. "Well, if you're stuck here, anyway, there's plenty of bedrooms. The bathroom is down the hall. Make yourself comfortable and relax. I'm going to go get dinner started."

Wanda smiled, stretching happily. "I'll take you up on that. I need a shower and some sleep."

Loki smirked. "I'll join you in the kitchen, if you don't mind."

When Stephen returned, a long while later, he was immediately drawn to the familiar smells permeating the house and warming him from the inside out as much as the soft, honeyed whispers being exchanged in the dim light of the kitchen. He found Loki and Persephone at the stove, speaking in hushed voices, closer to each other than he would have deemed appropriate–definitely flirty. Loki had changed out of the black suit into a pair of joggers and a dark green tshirt and seemed downright at home bantering with the human over the simmering pot. His ease made Stephen's left eye twitch immediately, some long-forgotten jealousy roiling in his chest and clenching his fists on their own accord. He cleared his throat loudly to pull their attention.

Seph rolled her eyes and turned back to the pot to stir, though Loki lingered close for a few extra moments before taking half a step back.

"I guess the fun police is back," she muttered under her breath and Loki chuckled.

"Loki, could you go check on Wanda, please?"

"Wanda is sleeping, so no." He turned back to his companion, whispered something into her ear that made her giggle and turn to face him, bottom lip caught between her teeth.

The way his eyes trailed from her lips to his gaze made something snap inside the sorcerer. "Just get lost, will you?"

Seph craned her neck, fixing him with a glare. "Leave him alone. This is my house." Loki grinned, leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek with a smug glint in his eye.

"I need to talk to you."

"Funnily enough, I heard all I needed to two decades ago, so…"

"Persephone, I am not playing here, I–" His demand was cut short by the flickering of the walls. Invisible curtains dividing this world from the little ratty apartment in the Bronx were faltering. Just beyond the constraints of the space, a whole new area, neither New York nor Nebraska, was reflected for just a second before it flashed back.

"It's alright, darling. He knows he has no authority here. Settle down, dove," Loki cooed cautiously, eyeing their surroundings with caution. "Do you want me to give you a moment with him?"

Seph sighed, studying Loki’s expression before nodding reluctantly. "Like I have a choice with this idiot."

"Very well. I will make myself scarce." He inclined his head at her, a gentle smile attached. Once he turned, he gave Strange a dirty look with a multitude of silent warnings and retreated to the living room.

Stephen snorted. "What did you do, bribe him?"

Rolling her eyes, she turned back to the stove. "Nope. He was hungry. I fed him. You'd be surprised how much less surly he is when he's full."

He frowned. "We ate before coming here."

"Hm… what's your excuse, then?" After a minute of silence, she glanced over her shoulder to check he was still there. He was. Unfortunately. "Besides, he eats three times as much as you do. Whatever you had wouldn't have made a dent."

"How do you know that?"

She let out a single laugh. "It's this revolutionary practice called talking. You wouldn't know about it, scalpel jock."

"Here’s a thought. How about you let your disdain for me go long enough for us to have a conversation."

The spoon in her hand slammed into the pot with a splash, driving bits of stew everywhere. Reality flickered within the portal and time dilated just long enough for him to notice before everything went smashing back into place. She was good at repressing these feelings, he knew. She must have spent their decades apart trying to control herself, unaided, and now it was his fault that she was losing control.

"How can you pretend that the single worst day of my life is just water under the bridge, Stephen?" She turned from the stove and he noticed her eyes glowed faintly in their intense hazel. "You accused me of drugging you, of deceiving you! I was grieving, my life was a mess, and I suddenly opened doors to places I hadn't been to in years, entirely by accident." She began to close the space between them, rounding the kitchen table. He felt like he should make a hasty retreat but found he lacked the ability. "I was terrified. I needed you! And you left me! I had no one!" Her voice cracked at the end, eyes filling with tears as she did all she could to retain the glare she was directing at him. "And after all that shit, you find magic and you–you didn't even have the decency to come and talk to me until you needed something."

"I didn't understand what had happened, OK? I opened your closet door and stepped into my childhood bedroom, Seph! How was that logical?"

"How did you think I felt, fucker? I was the one doing it!" Her voice rose to a shout and Stephen was quick to match it.

"I'm sorry! OK? I am sorry. I shouldn't have left. I should have reached out to you sooner. I should have helped. I am sorry. I'm s o r r y, but I was a dumb kid and the girl I was in love with could make distances shrink into nothing and I panicked!"

"You should've stayed gone, then," she replied, icily. "Because the boy I was in love with died when you left me alone in that room."

Cold filled his veins, and his spine quivered at her words. This was pure hatred, plain and simple. He couldn't find it within himself to blame her, to logic his way out of his role in her misery. Every excuse he could offer could be countered with 'yes, and it was happening to her, too'. She had been his one support through every bit of rotten luck he ever had. And he left her to her fate in a strange city without a lifeline. He never imagined he would be back to have this conversation, to pick at the scabbed-over wounds he had inflicted long ago.

"Persephone… Seph…" His hands tentatively grasped for her shoulders and gave a squeeze. She flinched, but did not pull away. "I am so sorry." With a little more coaxing, he had enveloped her in his arms, his nose pressed into her hair and inhaling the familiar scent of coconut. "I'm sorry. I am sorry," he chanted, feeling the front of his shirt dampening with her tears as her shoulders relaxed and molded into him. "I am going to make it up to you. I swear."

Persephone sniffled, pulling away from his frame. "I've waited a lifetime for you to come back for me." She blinked and tears streamed down her cheeks. "But I don't want that, anymore.” She made distance, wiping at her eyes and steeling her resolve. He wanted to pull her back to him. She needed to understand his point of view, though it suddenly occurred to him that he never bothered to understand hers. “You're welcome to stay as long as you need. But this isn't fixable, Stephen."

After a tense moment of staring at each other, she skirted past him, ignoring his protests and pleads to talk, opened the pantry door and disappeared through it with a ripple.

“Stellar job, Strange. Now we’re stuck until she gets back,” Loki commented as he slipped into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of stew and sneaked back out.

For once, Stephen did not argue.

#Stephen Strange #loki mcu #wanda maximoff #original character #marvel phase 4 #we're making it up as we go #marvel #MCU #MCU fanfiction #mcu fanfic #doctor stephen strange #scarlet witch #multiverse

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thorne93 · 4 years

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Unforeseen Chasm (Part 56)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:1991

Warnings: Language, infinity war plot continues, Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you have a plan?” Loki asked, as if he felt you already had one. The two of you stood in your apartment. It was eerily quiet and calm. Part of you wanted to stay in there where it was seemingly safe. You just wanted to grab Loki, wrap your arms around him, and pretend like none of this awfulness was happening. But you knew that was wrong. The universe needed you, both of you. Vision needed you.

“No. I don’t,” you answered shakily.

“Then what are we do--”

“I don’t know, okay? They can help Strange with the time stone. We need to get to Vision and warn him.” It was hard to keep the absolute panic out of your voice. Thanos… you’d escaped him once, but that was just barely. You knew it wouldn’t happen again, not now that he had two stones. He was about to complete his mission.

“And then what?”

“Then we fight. We protect Vision, and the rest of the stones at all costs. Loki, he can not get those stones, you know as well as I do life will cease to exist,” you pleaded.

“I know. Call Steve,” he said and you frowned ever so slightly. Loki had never, ever called him by any of his names. It was either Captain, or The Patriot.

But he knew this was serious. It was no time to beat around the bush or be clever.

Finally, the spell broke on you of the horror that snaked through both of you and you called him.

“Hello?” His voice sounded wary.

“Steve? Steve, it’s Y/N. Do you know where Vision is?”

“I may have an idea, why? What’s going on?”

“Thanos, the guy that took Loki and me? Brainwashed us. He’s coming to Earth. He may already be here. He’s sending his minions to find the infinity stones. One of them is already in New York, with Strange. Tony, Shannon, and Wong are helping protect it. Vision has the other one. Thanos already has two. He can’t get these other ones, Steve. He just can’t. He will end life as we know it.”

“Alright. What do you need me to do?”

“Get to Vision. Tell me where he is. I can help protect him.”

“He’s in Scotland. Glasgow. They’re staying at a hotel in downtown. Hang on… Grand Central Hotel.”

“Okay. Meet you there. Hurry. Call him if you can.”

“Will do.”

With that, you hung up and turned to Loki.

“We need to get to Scotland. Fast.”

----------------------

You were able to take one of Tony’s jets and use its near supersonic speed to get you to Scotland in a matter of a few hours. You found the hotel but Vision, and you were assuming Wanda, weren’t there. You began walking the streets, hoping to find them, or Steve, when you suddenly you heard a scream.

Shit.

You and Loki took off running toward the sound. Only to find Wanda get catapulted into a store window and Corvus Glaive slam a scepter down onto Vision’s head, trying to draw out the stone.

“Hey, fuck bag!” you yelled, your dark energy flowing out of you, hitting him and knocking him off of Vision. Proxima raised her spear and chucked it at you but Loki caught it just before it hit you and he hurled it back at her, knocking her to the ground.

“Go!” you screamed to Wanda and Vision. She nodded, grabbing Vision with her power and going over the tops of buildings. “You gotta go through me, Corvus,” you said with a smirk.

“Too easy,” he said as he charged at you but you raised your hands and electrified him but he raised his spear and shot a spark of power at you knocking you off your feet. Loki tried to keep Proxima busy but at one point, they got away from both of you, fighting Wanda and Vision all over the city, on rooftops. By the time you flew up to the rooftop though, they were already fighting towards a glass ceiling, several feet away from you.

They crashed into a train station where you finally caught up to them, only to find Vision badly hurt, Wanda trying to protect him, and Steve across the tracks. You smiled at him and he stepped forward.

Natasha and Sam suddenly burst onto the scene, where Natasha stabbed Corvus in the stomach and you wanted to applaud her, but now was not the time. The three of them worked to fight Proxima and Corvus until Corvus lied on the ground and he couldn’t stand.

“We don’t want to kill you, but we will,” Natasha said as you approached them.

“You’ll never get the chance again,” she promised, which lit a fire inside you.

A beam of light came down and retrieved them, making you turn to Nat angrily. “You should’ve killed them.”

“What good would it have done?” she challenged.

“You have no idea what’s coming,” you said with accusation. “If we have any flicker of hope against Thanos, we can’t let his army get back to him.”

“I killed one of them, what more do you want?”

“I want every one who is in alliance with Thanos dead,” you deadpanned as you got close to her.

“Alright, alright, take it easy,” Steve ordered gently before getting between you and Natasha.

“I can’t, Steve. The fate of the universe depends on us stopping him. We can’t let any of them go.”

“Well, I didn’t see you taking any fatal shots,” he remarked. The comment made you stiffen and sigh. He was right, and that destroyed you. This was your fault they were alive too. “Alright. Now we need to get back to base.”

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Steve, you, Nat, Vision, Wanda, and Loki walked into the Avengers Compound. Rhodey had been talking to Secretary Ross, the same man who sent most of your friends to jail.

You immediately found Shannon. She was standing at a table, mumbling to herself. You didn’t see Tony and your heart skipped a beat. You approached her, bracing for whatever she was about to tell you.

“Look who's back!” She rushed to you and the others. “Are you guys alright?” She pulled back from hugging you and looked to see who needed healing. “Come here Wanda, let me get rid of that cut.” She got closer and cleared the cut leaving a little irritation.

You shook your head. “Shan, where’s Tony? Stephen?” Your heart was pounding, waiting for an answer, fearing the absolute worse.

She looked over to you and she held her chest and her eyes began to water. “Ton-Tony’s up in space and I lost signal,” she wiped her tears. “He went after Peter to get him off the ship and figure out what their plan was.”

You stood there baffled. “Wait. Shan,” you started, feeling a panic attack coming on. “Back up. How the hell did Tony wind up on that ship? And Peter? Parker? The fucking kid? He’s on the ship? And Stephen…” You choked down a sob. “Tell me they’re not all lost in space with that fucking Squidward asshole… What happened?”

“One moment the three of us are fighting Maw and keeping Bruce safe, the next Peter swings in out of nowhere and is helping. Tony had him go after Maw because he took Strange and the time stone,” she was shaking really hard as she spoke. “Tony rushed after the two of them and had to enter the ship to get to them and I lost the signal once they were too far away.”

It felt as if all the blood had drained from you. “Stephen… is in the hands of Maw? With Tony and Peter and we can’t get ahold of them?” You started to really break down until Loki ran over and wrapped his arms around you, shushing you. He stroked your hair and kissed your head before pushing you slightly away from him.

“Love, I know you're scared, but we have a problem. We need to address it, now,” he reminded softly, but sternly.

“You’re right,” you agreed, swallowing your tears. “Shannon,” you said before wrapping her in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry. We’ll find Tony, alright? We need to find Thanos first. He’s our main objective. Those three can handle that idiot Maw, okay?” You rubbed her arm, trying to keep her calm and refocus her, just as Loki had done for you.

“I know Y/N, there goes Tony again doing something crazy.” she tried to laugh but it made her cry more. “You’re right we need to focus.” In that instant she focused up and was in mission mode. “Alright this is what we know so far…” she went off to explain what she knew and let Steve continue.

“Alright, Y/N, Loki, you two spent the most time with Thanos out of everyone here, what does he want? What are we looking at?” Steve demanded once all the troops were rounded up. Bruce went to get cleaned up and Pietro had to be retrieved from his place in hiding.

“The biggest army in the universe,” you said without hesitation. “The only reason we didn’t win in New York is because subconsciously we didn’t want to. I’m not saying that to start a pissing contest. I’m stating it as a fact. With Thanos army alone, a monkey could win, but we didn’t want to.”

“Could’ve fooled us,” Rhodey remarked and you made a face of chagrin.

“So what’s his mission? What does he want?”

“Annihilation. He wants to gather all six infinity stones and with the snap of his fingers, he can wipe out half of all life across the universe.” After Charles had removed your brainwashing a long time ago, he’d also somehow restored the memories of Thanos’s plans that you’d overheard time and time again on Sanctuary. Thanos probably removed them to make sure you didn’t betray him in any way. Now though, that knowledge was extremely useful and caused you no pain to remember it. You told the Avengers everything you could to help them. He had to be stopped at any and all costs.

“And he already has two,” Steve realized.

“Which is more than anyone has ever had, except for Loki and myself when we had the Tesseract and the scepter, but even then, they were in vessels. Now, the mind stone is on Vision’s head and Thanos crushed the tesseract to get the space stone,” you explained.

“But back in New York we didn’t have Wanda or Vision,” Nat started. “Plus you and Loki are on our side now, right?”

“Of course,” you said as if it was obvious. “You’ll have me, Shannon, and the rest of you. We have a chance, a better chance… but if we are facing Thanos himself… he’s like a rabid dog when it comes to these stones. He won’t stop until he has them all even Vision’s,” you solemnly told them as you peered at Wanda and Vision.

They looked back at you with a look like they didn’t want to believe you but they knew that you were telling the truth.

“Then we have to protect it,” Natasha responded.

“No, we have to destroy it. I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about its nature. But also, its composition. I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source, something, very similar to its own signature, perhaps… its molecular integrity could fail,” Vision suddenly said, aiming it at Wanda.

“And you, with it. We're not having this conversation,” she remarked.

The next few minutes were spent debating on whether or not Vision’s stone had to be destroyed. You didn’t weigh in on the matter. This was Vision and Wanda’s choice.

Finally, Bruce concluded that perhaps Wakanda would have the resources they needed to extract the stone, so that’s where everyone headed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaelingoat-blog @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo @damalseer @heyitscam99 @yknott81 @sorryimacrapwriter @glitterquadricorn @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm @alyssaj23 @sea040561 @princess76179 @thisismysecrethappyplace @sarahp879 @malfoysqueen14 @ellallheart @breezy1415 @marvelmayo @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711

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#unforeseen chasm #loki fic #loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark #tony stark fic #tony stark x ofc #bruce banner #mentions of peter parker #rhodey #natasha #wanda #vision #mentions of pietro #mentions of dr strange #steve rogers #mentions of thanos

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radiopastor · 3 years

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How Does God Us to Live?

Spiritually speaking, God wants us to live forever because He created us as a Spirit (in the image of God) that will live on earth now and later in heaven for eternity.

Physiologically speaking, God wants us to live on earth in our human body for 120 years. Does that surprise you? Are you among the people who believe that most people are supposed to die at 70 or 80 years old? The fact is that most humans, in today’s world, think that they’re supposed to die at age 70. Since that idea has been implanted in their brain, and their brain tells their body to die at that age! What humans think programs their brains. What humans say programs their life, for better or worse. Please, be careful what you think, and more importantly, be careful what you say. God created the whole world, the stars, and the entire universe with words. You can create your whole world, failures, and successes, by what you say. Our words have power. God’s words have divine power and must be followed exactly, if you want to live up to the potential that God created you to aspire to in this life.

Here comes the truth, and the proof, that we are created to live 120 years on earth. If you don’t want to live to 120, that is in God’s permissive will. If you choose to live to 120, just imagine all that you could do for God, for your family and you, too.

Genesis 6:3 – Amplified Bible – 3 Then the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not strive and remain with man forever, because he is indeed flesh [sinful, corrupt—given over to sensual appetites]; nevertheless his days shall yet be [a] a hundred and twenty years.”

Footnotes – a. Genesis 6:3 This may refer to the time given man to repent before the flood, or to the normative human life span after the flood.

There it is! – God said in sacred scriptures in Genesis 6:3 that we are to live 120 years here on this earth. The footnotes give us cause to wonder if the directive to live 120 may have been for humans to repent before the flood. This writer (Ed Brady) believes the second half of the footnote. It suggests that that 120 years is how long you and I are to live. How about you? Do you want to live according to God’s word in Genesis? It could give you so much time to succeed in the desires and passions that God has placed in your heart.

120 years, you ask?

–

You may feel that 120 years is too long to live, but perhaps you need to re-think your paradigm and learn to understand that we are a spirit, with a soul (mind, will, emotions) living in a body for 70 or 120 (depending upon which we choose). And yes, we choose the age and time we die, not God. When you are ready, you can release your spirit. Or, when you find yourself in a life-threatening situation, you can choose to live.

Acts 7:59-60

– Amplified Bible – 59 They continued stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, “Lord Jesus, receive, accept, and welcome my spirit!” 60 Then falling on his knees [in worship], he cried out loudly, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them [do not charge them]!” When he had said this, he fell asleep [in death].

God does not need another angel.

–

Scripture teaches us that when we are ready to die, we can ‘release’ our spirit and it goes to heaven or hell. It bothers me when people think that God killed (or took) their loved one. It bothers me when people say things like, “God must have needed another angel.” The statement itself is wrong, and it is wrong to believe that humans become angels. God created humans and God created angels to honor God, help humans, and deliver messages to humans. Nope, you won’t ‘get your wings’ because you will not become an angel. Up in heaven you will be you, in spirit form, in a new resurrection body that looks like you, but better! Remember when Jesus was crucified, rose from the dead, and came out of the tomb He had a body that looked like Him, but better!

What about the 70 years verse? – It is not a blessing, but a curse. The anger of God is expressed in this biblical verse against the people of Israel who chose, on their way to the Promised Land, go a different way than God had told them.

Psalm 90:10

– Amplified Bible – The days of our life are [a]seventy years—Or even, if because of strength, eighty years; Ye their pride [in additional years] is only labor and sorrow, for it is soon gone and we fly away.

Footnotes –

Psalm 90:10 This psalm is credited to Moses, who is interceding with God to remove the curse which made it necessary for every Israelite over twenty years of age (when they rebelled against God at Kadesh-barnea) to die before reaching the promised land of Canaan (Numbers 14:26-35). Moses himself lived to be 120 years old, Aaron 123, Miriam several years older than Aaron, and Joshua 110 years of age; but it is conceivable that Moses considered such longevity the exception. The ancient Israelite Rabbis taught that by the time of David, 70 was the age of death for an old man and 80 for a vigorous old man.

Go the way that God tells you. – God had told the Israelites to take a route that would have gotten them there in about a dozen days. However, the Nephilim tribe who were directly in front of the Israelites. They were large men whom the Israelites would have to fight and defeat, if they took God’s planned route. The key here is to do what God says, even if you don’t feel like it. Please, do what God says (and live as Jesus lived) even if you’re afraid, do it afraid, but do it, okay?

Numbers 13:33 – Amplified Bible – 33 There we saw the Nephilim (the sons of Anak are part of the Nephilim); and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”

Unfortunately, the Israelites judged the problem by the size of the other tribe, but they should have judged the problem by the size of their God. God could have helped them defeat the large Nephilim warriors, but they mistakenly thought that they had to fight their enemies by their own power. Of the 12 spies that the Israelites sent to observe and evaluate their chances of winning in battle, only 2 men, Joshua and Caleb, had strong faith and belief in God and (based on that faith) told the Israelites that they could defeat the Nephilim in battle. The other 10 spies said that they could not win and advised the tribe of Israel to go a different way, because of that, the House of Israel wandered in the desert for 40-years and none of the Israelites lived to enter the Promised Land. Only the two men that showed their faith, Joshua, and Caleb, entered the Promised Land with the sons and daughters of the people who died before they entered. Everybody who was over 20 years of age died in the desert before they got to go into the Promised Land. During the 40 years in the desert they all died.

Old Versus New Testament – That’s an example of the Old Testament Wrath of God. We’ll discuss the different manner that God views us in the New Testament (because of what Jesus did for us on the Cross) at another time. For now, let’s wrap up this section of “How does God want us to live?”

This note is for YOU. – If the Israelites would have done what God told them to do, it is estimated that they would have entered the Promised Land in a dozen days instead of wandering for 40-years and never entering the Promised Land. When God tells YOU to do something, by faith just do it because God will help you conquer any giants in front of you, okay? The Bible says that God is no respecter of persons because He shows no partiality (Read Acts 10:34 and Romans 2:11). That could be interpreted in a negative manner, but by faith we can believe that what God does for other believers who have faith in Him, He will do for YOU. Please, read the Bible daily, study it, and apply it to your life to have a wonderful 120 years on this earth. Enjoy! However, if you do not follow God’s directives/commands in the Bible, try enjoying your wandering in the desert for 40 years. Ouch!

We must live by faith, not sight. To get better at living by faith, spend more time reading and studying the Bible daily. The main reason that most Christians believe wrong information about God, and life, is that they have no knowledge of scripture. In closing, “How Does God Want Us To Live?” He wants us to live our life the way He told us in the Bible. Read it daily and apply it to your life, okay? To make it easier for us live the way God wants us to live, He sent His son, Jesus, to make it very, very clear how God wants us to live.

2 Corinthians 5:7 – Amplified Bible – 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight [living our lives in a manner consistent with our confident belief in God’s promises].

Thanks, and God bless you, Pastor Ed Brady

Questions? You can reach me at: [email protected]

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#God #Christian #dailylife

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mrs-dragneel-stark-solo · 4 years

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Unforseen Chasm (Part 56)

Part 56 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 1991 Warnings: Language, infinity war plot continues, Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

“No. I don’t,” you answered shakily.

“Then what are we do--”

“And then what?”

“Then we fight. We protect Vision, and the rest of the stones at all costs. Loki, he can not get those stones, you know as well as I do life will cease to exist,” you pleaded.

“I know. Call Steve,” he said and you frowned ever so slightly. Loki had never, ever called him by any of his names. It was either Captain, or The Patriot.

But he knew this was serious. It was no time to beat around the bush or be clever.

Finally, the spell broke on you of the horror that snaked through both of you and you called him.

“Hello?” His voice sounded wary.

“Steve? Steve, it’s Y/N. Do you know where Vision is?”

“I may have an idea, why? What’s going on?”

“Alright. What do you need me to do?”

“Get to Vision. Tell me where he is. I can help protect him.”

“He’s in Scotland. Glasgow. They’re staying at a hotel in downtown. Hang on… Grand Central Hotel.”

“Okay. Meet you there. Hurry. Call him if you can.”

“Will do.”

With that, you hung up and turned to Loki.

“We need to get to Scotland. Fast.”

----------------------

Shit.

You and Loki took off running toward the sound. Only to find Wanda get catapulted into a store window and Corvus Glaive slam a scepter down onto Vision’s head, trying to draw out the stone.

“Go!” you screamed to Wanda and Vision. She nodded, grabbing Vision with her power and going over the tops of buildings. “You gotta go through me, Corvus,” you said with a smirk.

“We don’t want to kill you, but we will,” Natasha said as you approached them.

“You’ll never get the chance again,” she promised, which lit a fire inside you.

A beam of light came down and retrieved them, making you turn to Nat angrily. “You should’ve killed them.”

“What good would it have done?” she challenged.

“You have no idea what’s coming,” you said with accusation. “If we have any flicker of hope against Thanos, we can’t let his army get back to him.”

“I killed one of them, what more do you want?”

“I want every one who is in alliance with Thanos dead,” you deadpanned as you got close to her.

“Alright, alright, take it easy,” Steve ordered gently before getting between you and Natasha.

“I can’t, Steve. The fate of the universe depends on us stopping him. We can’t let any of them go.”

------------------------------

Steve, you, Nat, Vision, Wanda, and Loki walked into the Avengers Compound. Rhodey had been talking to Secretary Ross, the same man who sent most of your friends to jail.

You shook your head. “Shan, where’s Tony? Stephen?” Your heart was pounding, waiting for an answer, fearing the absolute worse.

“Love, I know you're scared, but we have a problem. We need to address it, now,” he reminded softly, but sternly.

“Could’ve fooled us,” Rhodey remarked and you made a face of chagrin.

“So what’s his mission? What does he want?”

“And he already has two,” Steve realized.

“But back in New York we didn’t have Wanda or Vision,” Nat started. “Plus you and Loki are on our side now, right?”

They looked back at you with a look like they didn’t want to believe you but they knew that you were telling the truth.

“Then we have to protect it,” Natasha responded.

“And you, with it. We're not having this conversation,” she remarked.

The next few minutes were spent debating on whether or not Vision’s stone had to be destroyed. You didn’t weigh in on the matter. This was Vision and Wanda’s choice.

Finally, Bruce concluded that perhaps Wakanda would have the resources they needed to extract the stone, so that’s where everyone headed.

Unforseen Chasm Tag list- @reigningqueenofwords @oldfreakything @adefectivedetective @dontbetooobvious

Tag list- @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @winchester-writes @winchesterenthusiast

@deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @sammysbuttcheek @misz-adrii @sandlee44 @womanxofletters @natsuccs @childishhoebinoo @expecteddifferent @girl-next-door-writes @fanaticfanfiction

@dakotapaigelove

@sassy-spn-knight-of-hell @reigningqueenofwords @oldfreakything

Marvel: @reigningqueenofwords @flowerbunbunny @zelda2248 @misz-adrii

#unforeseen chasm #unforseen chasm #loki fic loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #tony stark #bruce banner #steve rogers #rhodey #natas #wanda #visitportugal #mentions of pietro #mentions of peter parker #mentions of dr strange #mentions of thanos

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fandomshatefatpeople · 5 years

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Avengers Endgame

This will contain very minor spoilers - so minor that if you’ve thought at all about how the experiences of the last few movies might impact different characters then it’s not actually very spoiler-y.

In Endgame, through the use of CGI, Thor is given a beer belly. The reasoning behind this is that Thor has been through hell in the last few movies (death of his mother, his father, many Asgardians, Thanos attacking his ship and killing half of the remaining Asgardians, including Heimdall and Loki. Then, when he had a chance to stop Thanos he failed (the whole team failed of course, but he got in what could have been a killing blow but it wasn’t). So, in Endgame Thor’s method of coping with this exceedingly hard series of experiences, is to isolate himself, drink alcohol, and as a result, gain weight.

The main reason this treatment of Thor’s character is a problem isn’t because he gained weight. The problem is the way the Russo brothers decided to play it. Instead of looking with understanding at everything Thor has been through and treating his weight gain as a neutral event and completely normal (something that MANY people experience even when not grieving), it was treated as a long-running gag. “harharhar, the Thunder God is fat, so hilarious!” I was so angry.

There wasn’t just a single instance of this. It was used multiple times throughout the film to elicit laughs. It got to the point that every scene that had Thor had me cringing and braced for the inevitable poor treatment. At the end of the film, when they used a simple handshake as one more opportunity to laugh at Thor’s gut, I was ready to scream at the entire theater that fat people exist and there was nothing funny about Thor’s treatment.

There are many reasons his treatment was shitty.

1) it tells every fat person in every theater or who will ever see this movie that their size is a joke, that they have less worth now than they would if they were skinny, that their very existence is hilarious to everyone around them.

2) Thor’s fatness is used as code for lazy, for “letting himself go” (which is a bullshit phrase btw). This perpetuates the stereotype that fat = lazy which is a dangerous idea that causes actual harm to fat people. Especially when this opinion is held by medical professionals who often have our very lives in their hands.

3) There was a chance for the movie to address Thor’s obvious depression, anxiety, and guilt over the events of Ragnorak & Infinity War in a mature, aware, and helpful-to-those-who-also-experience-these-things way. And instead it was all treated as a big joke. “Oh look at Thor, this strong man, crying because he feels responsible for the deaths of half the population of the universe, hilarious!” I did not find it hilarious.

This is exactly the sort of treatment and messages that cause direct harm to fat people. No, I am not exaggerating. It is harmful when every message is sent that fat people are lazy and that it’s okay to treat our closest friends with derision and scorn (the Avengers who have worked together with Thor for years are among the worst offenders when it comes to how he is treated).

This was a bullshit decision on the part of Anthony & Joe Russo (directors), Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely (writers), the producers, the actors involved in the fatphobia, and everyone else who green-lit this part of the story.

Fatphobia is never harmless. It is never funny. And the existence of fat people should never be used to elicit laughs. We need to do better. We (fat people) deserve better.

#avengers endgame #mod Amelia #minor spoilers #fatphobia

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aphrodaisyacs · 6 years

Link

Chapter summary:

Tony (internally): Oh my god I bet he still hates me. Steve (internally): Oh my god I bet he still hates me.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Heimdall (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner, Thanos (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes, Guardians of the Galaxy Team, Steve Rogers, T'Challa (Marvel), Peter Parker Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Shitstorm with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Multiple, Loss of Limbs, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canon-Typical Violence

Links if you want to read on tumblr:

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

Can you believe I completed my first fanfic? Me neither.

Here’s the epilogue, aka the long awaited Steve & Tony reconciliation below:

Tony slept through the entire ride back to Earth.

It wouldn’t have been such a bad thing, per se, if it weren’t for the fact that he did it while slumped over the Milano’s main table in a hard stool.

Tony stretches, then winces at the series of cracks that follow.

He’s getting too old for this.

The arrival of the group from Titan receive a less than warm welcome from those in Wakanda. Which, fair enough, since previously all spaceships to Earth had meant bad news. The Wakandan soldiers only put down their weapons after everyone steps out of the Milano. Tony gets practically tackled and squeezed to death by Rhodey, and he can faintly register Heimdall suffering the same fate behind him, courtesy of Thor.

Turns out he had missed a laundry list’s worth of things since stowing away on that space donut, which was only what, a day ago? Bruce is back, so’s Thor and even Loki (who’s apparently blue now and no longer crazy and bent on taking over the world). Steve and the other ex-Avengers are here too, and Tony does his best to ignore the twinge in his chest at the sight of them.

Luckily for Tony and his aversion to long overdue conversations, Thanos’ latest army had left such a mess in Wakanda that everyone is needed to help with the clean-up. There isn’t much they can do about whatever the hell happened to the grass fields, so they focus their efforts on the scattered corpses and whatever alien tech had been left behind.

But unluckily for him, Steve is determined to talk to him, and Tony can’t believe he’d almost forgotten how damn stubborn the man can be. Steve has been unsubtly glancing at Tony’s way for the past ten or so minutes with that slight furrow between his brows, and Tony feigns ignorance and continues hauling alien corpses as if he wouldn’t rather launch himself into space again.

After all, he’s quite sure that Steve hates him.

Sure, Steve had said that he’d help if Tony needed him. But what if the moment he sees Tony again, he gets reminded of how much he hates the man who forced him to give up his shield, his symbol? The man who attacked his best friend, over something that said best friend was forced to do while tortured and brainwashed, even? Fucking hell, the more Tony thinks about it the more he feels like human garbage. He’s terrified at the idea of looking at Steve again for the first time since their fight, only for the other man to look back with hatred, disgust, disappointment or even apathy. And somehow apathy is the worst of the lot, because then it’d be as if Tony no longer means anything to him and that would hurt.

“Tony.”

Think of the devil.

Tony deliberately throws another alien corpse into the back of the clean-up vehicle before turning around.

“Cap!” he exclaims, with probably a bit too much forced enthusiasm. Steve gives him A Look, and yep, definitely too much enthusiasm, because he isn’t buying it at all.

An awkward silence hangs between them and Tony struggles not to fidget too much as he turns his gaze towards everything but Steve’s face. Come on Tony, say something, say something-

“So… I heard that you’ve teamed up with Loki over there. Guess your type is tall, dark and murderous, huh?”

Tony instantly regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth, because if the expression on Steve’s face is anything to go by, he doesn’t find the half-assed joke funny at all.

Figures Tony would ruin things before they can even begin.

The awkwardness of the silence now has a sour edge to it, and the idea of being launched into space again to fight a Thanos 2.0 is becoming more and more appealing.

Suddenly a different voice cuts in.

“Well gee, this is getting painful to watch,” Barnes huffs. He meets Steve’s withering glare with a raised eyebrow as he strides over to them. He turns to Tony.

“Now that I’ve recovered and gotten all the trigger words out-” Barnes heaves out a sigh and looks straight at Tony with a startling amount of sincerity. “You can arrest me. I promise I won’t run anymore.”

“Buck-” Steve begins, but stops when Barnes merely shakes his head. They wait for Tony’s response.

Tony takes in Steve’s tense stance and Barnes’ kicked puppy look. Instantly, any and all emotions he had been feeling at that point drain out of him, leaving him empty and exhausted.

“Look-” Tony begins, “I’ve had some time to think about it and I really shouldn’t have gone crazy on you like that. You were tortured for what, 70 years? I can’t stay mad at you for that, I mean, back in-” Tony’s words get stuck in his throat at the creeping memories of dark, cold and pain.“Back in Afghanistan I barely even lasted like two days before I…” Tony swallows. “Look- I’m sorry. For being hard on you.”

Barnes’ eyes widen.

“What are you-”

“Nuh! Uh! Shh! Let me finish!” Tony cuts in, and winces when Barnes visibly startles. “I’m not saying we go run off and get friendship bracelets or anything, but. I don’t hate you. HYDRA wanted my parents killed, and if it wasn’t you who did it, they would’ve ordered someone else to. So I don’t blame you for my parent’s deaths. I was an asshole to do that two years ago, and I’m sorry, okay?”

Tony’s heart is thumping loudly in his ears, from the dizzying exhilaration of finally getting to word-vomit the messy apology that had been stewing in his mind for too long. That, and also because he doesn’t know how Barnes will react.

Barnes blinks at him, but the act does nothing to stop the tears sliding down his face. He sniffs and shakes his head.

“No, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” His voice is unsteady with barely suppressed sobs. “It was still me that did it, my own hands. You had every right to be angry.”

Tony gives a tired smile, even as his chest twists with guilt. On the side, Steve doesn’t even bother trying to hide his pained expression at the sight of Bucky’s tears.

“Well, I’m not,” Tony says. “Not anymore. There wasn’t a point to staying angry at you. Got better things to do- suits to upgrade, Wakandan tech to play with, spiderlings to look out for…” He knows he’s rambling at this point, so he falls silent as he watches Barnes heave in shaky breaths while Steve rubs soothing circles on his back.

Eventually Steve leans in and says something to Barnes’ ear, to which makes Barnes straighten up. He gives Steve a parting hug, and nods at Tony after letting go. Barnes directs a final “don’t fuck this up” look at Steve, then walks away.

As Steve watches Bucky leave, he becomes acutely aware of the way his best friend had eased the discomfort of the silence hanging between him and Tony.

It’s a relief to see that Tony had forgiven Bucky. But if the way he is still refusing to look at Steve is any indication, then well… Steve can’t exactly blame Tony if he still hates him. Steve would understand if Tony never forgives him for what went down last time they saw each other. But at the same time, it’d feel wrong if he didn’t even attempt to mend bridges. Especially since for the first time in two years, they finally have a chance to talk.

“I thought that Earth lost its greatest defender,” Steve says before the silence can descend into awkwardness again. “But then it turns out that he went off to take care of the real problem. So thank you for saving the universe.”

Tony lightly scoffs at that and crosses his arms.

“Nah, that was mostly Gamora and Nebula. I helped, a little.” He finally looks at Steve, with a carefully neutral expression. “But you took care of things on your end too didn’t you?”

“Well,” Steve says. “That was mostly Wanda and Thor actually. But I guess I helped, a little.”

Tony lets out a small huff of laughter at that, and Steve can’t help the amused smile spreading across his face.

The silence between them is now companionable. Steve would like more than anything to bask in it a little longer, but he clears his throat.

“I’m sorry. For hurting you. And for hiding secrets from you.”

Tony is wearing an unreadable expression on his face, but he doesn’t say anything so Steve continues.

“I could’ve- This could’ve been avoided if I just told you about the stuff I found on Bucky from the SHIELD-HYDRA files. But I just- couldn’t. I thought it would be better if I didn’t. And I was wrong.”

Tony sighs and drops his arms.

“I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended that I didn’t do the same thing with Ultron. I knew you guys wouldn’t approve so I kept it all hush-hush. I thought that I’d show you after it was done, then I’d be proven right and you’d have nothing to complain about.”

Steve rubs his hand over his face. What a pair they make. No wonder it had taken so little for Zemo to tear apart the Avengers.

“And I guess…” he continues. “I also want to thank you for forgiving Bucky.”

Tony waves a hand dismissively.

“Like I’ve said, I’ve had some time to think on it.”

He glances over at Steve.

“But what are you gonna do now?”

It’s a loaded question, and they both know it. Being constantly on the run hasn’t been easy- it’s something that Nat had gotten used to while he and Sam kept pushing themselves forward, but he can see the toll it’s taking on Wanda, even without the additional tiptoeing she had to go through to see Vision. The Accords have diminished the Avengers in more ways than one, and Steve has to admit that they only won this fight against Thanos through pure luck. Things would be so much easier if they just worked together again, without the shadow of the Accords looming over their heads. And now the tentative thread of reconnection that he’s formed with Tony might get ruined again by the very thing that tore them apart.

“I don’t know,” Steve finally admits. “But… probably back to what I was doing before.” He shrugs. “There’s not much else a wanted criminal can do.”

For the first time since the conversation started, Tony looks him dead in the eyes.

“But you don’t have to be one.”

Steve sees the faint glimmer of barely concealed hope in Tony’s eyes, and suddenly it clicks. Of course- Tony doesn’t hate him. Or at least, not anymore. Somewhere along the way, he must’ve forgiven Steve as well. It makes sense now, the way Iron Man and the Avengers’ hunt for Captain America and the other ex-Avengers on Ross’ orders always seemed half-hearted at best. Tony’s always had a bigger heart than he’d let on.

“Tony, I- I’m sorry, I really am, but…” Something sinks in Steve’s chest at the way Tony’s expression begins closing off. “There’s no way things can go back to the way they used to be. The Accords- they’re gonna look at this-” He gestures in the direction where the group from Titan- the Guardians of the Galaxy, as they had introduced themselves as- are playfully competing to see which one of them can clear the most alien corpses. “-and see dangerous individuals who need to be controlled and contained, even though they helped save the universe.”

Tony exhales loudly.

“Well I think that given all the shit that just went down in the past 24 hours, they’re gonna have to update the Accords anyway. This whole thing’s gonna be a paperwork nightmare, but…” he trails off, and waves vaguely with a hand.

“Yeah,” Steve says, understanding what Tony’s too tired to articulate. Then, something suddenly crosses his mind.

“Loki and Bruce also said that Asgard’s been destroyed- there are escape pods filled with Asgardian refugees who were evacuated from the main ship after Thanos attacked. Chances are, they’re gonna be heading to Earth now that it’s safe.”

Tony blinks at that, then sucks in a breath and runs a hand over his face.

“Hoo boy I am not looking forward to that. Our government bigshots already get their panties in a twist when it’s refugees from a different country, but from an alien god planet? It’s gonna be a complete shitshow.”

Steve grimaces, because he knows Tony’s right.

“Well, at least Thor will be the one representing them, since he’s now their king,” Steve offers. That, and Thor has a track record of being charismatic and well-liked by the general public. Not that either of those things had helped Steve much at all, but he can only hope that things will turn out better for his friend. After all, he can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to be forced to flee your own planet.

“Then will you be sticking around to help?”

Steve is aware of the way Tony is watching carefully for his reaction. He turns his gaze towards the devastated Wakandan fields, at everyone who is helping with the cleanup. He imagines standing with them, giving a statement to the general public on the intergalactic war that had taken place right under their noses. He looks at where Thor is laughing with the Guardians as he joins in with their games, and tries to imagine the myriad of ways in which the international governments would object to their very presence on Earth, would object to the Asgardian refugees on Earth. His mind is already spinning with counter-arguments for each and every one of them. He looks at the other Avengers scattered throughout the field, at the way they’ve seamlessly clicked back together as if they were never separated in the first place. He looks at where Princess Shuri is chattering excitedly with the young spider boy, and he looks at where the raccoon had broken off from the Guardians to speak to Bucky about something which makes his best friend frown.

Steve looks back at Tony. He’s not quite smiling, but it’s close.

“Maybe.”

He’ll see where things go from here.

#marvel #infinity war #infinity war fix it #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #daisy's fics #swh

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ivanoconnorhorrorbooks-blog · 6 years

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Despite many able to argue that attempting to rank the talents of Stephen King in a 'Best Stephen King Books' type-article is a foolish battle, I am going to give it a go as it's a great excuse to get my King collection out. First time King-readers will also hopefully benefit from this, as let us remember that the great Stephen King has published over 60 books by the age of 64, and with the inconsistency that inevitably brings - reading the wrong novel first might put you off King forever. And oh what a crime that would be! Here goes - My personal 13 best Stephen King books.

The following best Stephen King books list is based on a broad number of criteria, including the number of sleepless nights caused from the nightmares that swiftly followed reading the books...

13- Misery

Misery was one of the first King stories that I got my hands on, and I remember reading it from start to finish over the span of no more than three nights. It makes for a fantastic introduction to Stephen King's writing and I thoroughly recommend it as a potential first King novel to read. Misery is the chilling story of an author named 'Paul Sheldon' who has spawned a series of popular stories about a woman known as only 'Misery'. Paul Sheldon decides he wants to write about something new, so he kills off the character known as Misery. On his way back home he has a car accident which overturns his car, leaving him knocked out. He then awakes to find he has was saved and being looked after by a strange woman named 'Annie Wilkes', who also happens to be his number one fan. Annie is not impressed with Paul's decision to kill off Misery, and so Paul, who once wrote to make a living, is now writing for his life. A truly fantastic story, which admittedly should be avoided if you are weak at heart, as there are some tremendously vivid and terrifying gory scenes.

12- The Green Mile

The Green Mile is a highly acclaimed novel that was originally published over six short separate instalments, each being released a month after the other and ending in a nail-biting cliffhanger. Those were the days...

Many have you have probably seen the movie-adaptation in which Tom Hanks stars, need I really say more? Unlike many other movies based on books, the movie is a loyal and strong interpretation of the book accompanied by remarkable acting. However, despite being a great movie, the book is still king (pun unintended) thanks to the many twists and sub-plots that did not make it into the movie. The story is set in the 30′s and tells the emotional tale of the experiences of prisoners on death row and the guards. The green mile is wonderfully well-written - you feel part of the fictitious world that is full of oppression and segregation that leads to multiple memorable thought-provoking and moving moments. Who said Stephen King can only write horror gems?

11- Bag Of Bones

Bag of Bones is possibly King's most ambitious attempt at having a love story. Similar to The Green Mile this is another of Stephen King's novels that doesn't strictly follow his early horror style of writing, and as such is not as popular as some of his other work. Which is a shame, because if given the chance, this is another truly wonderful ghost story full of twists and vivid characters. The main character is, as you've come to expect with King, a writer called Mike Noonan. Mike's wife suddenly dies and causes him to have a severe case of 'writer's block'. In order to get over his writer's block he returns to his summer house, where he discovers that his wife was on the trail of something highly sinister. With countless twists and turns concluding to a haunting ending, you will undoubtedly be left as breathless and mentally exhausted as I was. Great read...

10- Firestarter

Firestarter is perhaps one of Stephen King's lesser known novels and doesn't often feature in lists of the Best Stephen King Books. It might have something to do with the underwhelming reaction people had after seeing the movie-adaptation - many people see films and then read the book if the movie was any good. Whatever the reason is, a lot of King fans are missing out on a very good story which they would surely love. Firestarter is the tale of a father and his young daughter with pyrokinetic powers, who have to constantly be on the run from a government agency trying to capture the young girl to use her powers for their own gain. The plots are cleverly connected and the likeable characters make you genuinely care for their well-being. Recommended.

9- The Dark Tower Series

The Gunslinger is the first entry of King's The Dark Tower series and follows the protagonist, Roland, on his quest to the Dark Tower, but before he can get there he must locate his enigmatic antagonist that he kindly calls 'The Man in Black'. King took twelve years to write this book, but came up with the epic first line while still at University: 'The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed', gripping start for sure and there's a great deal more of it as you discover how Roland is capable of extreme violence, yet somehow still manages to come across as kind. A great start to a great series and a must-read for any Fantasy/Western book-lover.

8- Pet Semetary

Pet Sematary (purposely misspelt) is one of King's most enthralling and chilling novels. I read it for the first time when I was 14 and the disturbing nature of the story hindered the quality of my sleep for weeks (months?), I wasn't able to pick it up for several years, and for that reason I would wholeheartedly recommend this novel to every horror-lover. The story starts out when the Creed family, a happy family of four and a cat, decide to move house. In their new home, unspeakable evil things start to happen and are certain to keep you on the edge of your seat. Thoroughly frightening and definitely not one for the faint-hearted.

7- It

It is the story of a sleepy town in Maine, called Derry. Every three decades, mysterious and unspeakable evils occur, first come the rare sightings that are quickly followed by a series of murders of young children. The local residents refer to the being that causer of these acts as It, and not much is known about It, apart from the fact that it can shape-shift and appears to each person as a combination of their worst fears. A group of outcast teenagers decide to take a stand against the ultimate evil, and as adults return to Derry three decades later to fight It. The beauty of this book is in how King sets the mood of the story, by making It live in places within our very own homes that we take for granted, such as drains and sewers and the strong chemistry between the main characters as they are naturally gravitated towards each other due to their outcast status.

6- Different Seasons

Different Seasons is a collection of four different stories that saw one of Stephen King's first attempts at writing something not strictly-horror, however do not despair, there are still plenty of gory moments to keep the hardcore fans satisfied - Starting with Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption (Hope Springs Eternal) which tells the story of an innocent man in prison convicted of murder, plotting his escape. With fantastic characters and a gripping story, it is a great start to the book. Many people will be aware of Frank Darabont's adaptation of the book into a movie which revels in the brilliance of the story - Shawshank Redemption, however this should not be the only reason to pick up this book, the rest is just as good. The second story in Different Seasons is called The Apt Pupil (Summer of corruption) and is about a seemingly normal teenager who discovers that a local resident is a war criminal, and causes him to develop a morbid curiosity about Nazi death camps. The third story is called The Body (Fall from Innocence), which is the touching story of four teenagers who are dared to go into the woods to confirm the existence of a dead body, and ends up becoming a coming-of-age story. Finally we have the macabre The Breathing Method (A Winter's Tale) which tells of an unmarried and pregnant woman determined to give birth, no matter what... All four stories are severe page-turners and will have you go through a range of strong emotions. Highly recommended for a rainy day.

5- Carrie

Carrie, as you are probably aware already, was Stephen King's first novel and kick-started his incredible career. It is hard to believe that this masterpiece was a writer's first published work, and the popularity and cult-status that it created still remains intact to this very day. Carrie takes you into the world of a lonely and tormented teenage girl who has problems both at home and at high school. Unable to connect with anyone, Carrie finally snaps and unleashes her rage using violence mixed with her telekinetic powers, causing havoc in the usually quiet small town.

4- Salem's Lot

Salem's Lot was Stephen King's second novel, following the hit that was Carrie. It was released in 1975 and immediately became another massive hit by terrifying even the most hardcore of horror readers. The protagonist is author Ben Mears, plagued by personal demons, decides to move to an old mansion in Jerusalem's Lot in a bid to rid himself of them and write a new book. However, Ben quickly discovers that things are not as they seem, and that his home town are under siege by the dark forces of evil. This is a vampire novel, but unlike the recent wave of romantic vampire stories around, these vampires are not friendly or charming at all, they are pure evil. The characters are, as expected, well-developed with believable back-stories that will keep you engaged and highly interested.

3- The Dead Zone

The Dead Zone comes in at number seven on this Best Stephen King Books list and is a book that I personally was mysteriously put-off reading for a very long time, I still do not know why that was, but I was very mistaken to not pick it up sooner. It was King's fifth published novel and is one that Stephen King himself later admitted to being one of the few novels that he plotted and actually liked. The Dead Zone is a fast-paced story about a man called Johnny Smith who after a terrible accident is left in a coma for several years. When Johnny finally awakens, he quickly discovers he has obtained the unique ability to limitedly see into the future of people he touches. With this new power and strong desire to use them for good, he unwittingly foresees terrible events. What makes The Dead Zone so special is that the writing is controlled and well-paced, but above all the character development is fantastic.

2- The Shining

The Shining is a chilling story that follows the dysfunctional Torrance family with a sickening past plagued by alcoholism and abuse. The father of the family, Jack, was a teacher until the day he spotted some of his students damaging his car and ended up punching them. After losing his job, the family are forced to move to a far away and isolated hotel, as that was the only place that would offer Jack a job. During a terrible winter the Torrance family are snowed in and forced to look after the hotel on their own, initially things seem under-control, but as the iconic 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' statement, all is not well... There are not many characters outside of the family of three, allowing the novel to provide vast amounts of information and back-stories to all them, leading to stand-out character-development, which must rate among Stephen King's very best.. One of my favourite novels ever written and an absolute must-read for any book-lover - even if you have seen the critically-acclaimed movie starring Jack Nicholson.

To conclude our Best Stephen King Books list, I leave you with the book that marked me the most and despite giving me countless cold-sweated and sleepless nights, I read at least four times. A true premier horror classic that will remain in every horror and King aficionado's library forever:

1- The Stand

The Stand is a book that most readers are familiar with. Initially I thought that having to state a number one for a best Stephen King books list would be a tough task, but after remembering The Stand, it was the easiest one of the list. The story starts in the early 90′s in the California Desert, where a deadly mutated flu virus created by the U.S government manages to escape from a biology testing laboratory through a contaminated guard by the name of Campion. Unwittingly, this panicky character sets off a domino effect where 99% of the world's population is rapidly killed off by the deadly virus. The only survivors are those lucky (or unlucky) ones that happen to be naturally immune to the virus, but they are terrified and forced to survive in the depressing and desolate landscape. What follows is an incredible story of desperate struggles filled with humanity and real depth. This is possibly the best horror book I have ever read and if you have not read it yet, what are you waiting for?

That concludes this Best Stephen King Books list, and I wish I could have included many more, a few notable absentees that I'd like to mention are: Skeleton Crew - A collection of stories, The Long Walk - 100 boys meet for a race, if you break the rules you get a warning, exceed three warnings and what happens is truly terrifying and lastly Christine - The story of a teenage boy who falls in love with Christine, a rather 'special' woman.

Stephen King's vast imagination is one to be jealous of. King's delicious talent for story-telling makes his novels tremendously engrossing, and his ability to weave and connect his worlds with the vague perceptions we have of our own is remarkable and causes us to have strong feelings and even desires that these tantalizing worlds could actually exist in an alternate universe somewhere. If you have never picked up a Stephen King book, I couldn't recommend strongly enough to research the one that might initially suit you best and let yourself become absorbed by the incredible worlds of the King.

#BestStephenKingBooks #FactsStephenKing

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archivesofcreation · 4 years

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A YALE SCIENTIST GIVES UP DARWIN

“The origin of species is exactly what Darwin cannot explain.” —Professor David Gelernter, Professor of Computer Science at Yale University I recently had the privilege of being a guest teacher at a Christian academy in the Chicago Suburbs. I was invited to spend three days teaching on Creation, Evolution, Genesis, and the science involved in this debate. During this time, several of the teachers told me that they recently heard news of a Yale professor declaring publicly that evolution was not true. I did a little digging and discovered this apostate former evolutionist. “I grew up with Darwin’s theory, and had always believed it was true.” —Professor David Gelernter

His name is David Gelernter, and he is a professor of computer science at Yale University, chief scientist at Mirror Worlds Technologies, and a member of the National Council of the Arts. His article, published by the Claremont Institute, is partially a general review of the books by Intelligent Design proponents, and also an examination of the journey of ideas which took this man from faith in Darwin to intellectual doubt in the ability of evolution to explain the world in which we live. “Like so many others,” he says in this article, “I grew up with Darwin’s theory, and had always believed it was true.” Professor Gelernter credits Darwin’s Doubt by Stephen Meyer for opening his eyes. “Darwin’s Doubt is one of the most important books in a generation,” he says in his article. “Few open-minded people will finish it with their faith in Darwin intact.” He summarizes the book this way: “Meyer doesn’t only demolish Darwin; he defends a replacement theory, intelligent design (I.D.).” Professor Gelernter’s article is no brag piece about his own intelligence, nor even a joyful dismissing of a failed scientific model. And before the skeptics can level the accusation, this is not the result of some conversion to Christianity wherein he felt compelled by a new religious position to turn his back on the popular science of the day. Professor Gelernter describes Darwin’s theory of evolution as “a brilliant and beautiful scientific theory.” It is with seeming reluctance that he explains the great failings of his former faith. This is merely one more example of an educated man discovering that the Darwinian paradigm he had lived with all of his life simply does not stand up under scientific scrutiny, even when it saddens him to admit it. “Darwinism is no longer just a scientific theory…but an emergency replacement religion for the many troubled souls who need one.” —Professor David Gelernter Echoing what we in creation ministries understand all too well, Professor Gelernter says, “Intelligent design as Meyer explains it, never uses religious arguments… The religion is all on the other side. Meyer and other proponents of I.D. are the dispassionate intellectuals making orderly scientific arguments. Some I.D.–Haters have shown themselves willing to use any argument—fair or not, true or not, ad hominem or not—to keep this dangerous idea locked in a box forever. They remind us of the extent to which Darwinism is no longer just a scientific theory but the basis of a worldview, and an emergency replacement religion for the many troubled souls who need one.” This statement echoed a quote from Evolutionist Professor of Philosophy and Zoology, Michael Ruse, which I had shared with those academy students the day before I discovered this article. Professor Ruse had said, “I am an ardent evolutionist…Evolution is a religion. This was true of evolution in the beginning, and it is true of evolution still today.” Many skeptics intending to attack biblical creation claim that the conflict over origins is one of religion vs science. What they often fail to understand is that they are right, but that the conflict is between science and the religion of Darwinism. Observational science studied with an open mind and intellectual honesty has never conflicted with the Bible, but rather has led many to abandon atheism and put their trust in the Word of God. “The fossil record showed that Darwin’s theory was wrong.” —Professor David Gelernter

The article written by Professor Gelernter goes on to discuss some of the core failings of evolutionary dogma and the ways in which observational science shows that Darwin’s theory, beautiful or not, MUST fail. The fossil record is discussed as it relates to the predicted plethora of transitional forms that MUST have existed, if Darwinian evolution were truly a fact of history. “But those predecessors of the Cambrian creatures,” says Professor Gelernter, “are missing. Darwin himself was disturbed by their absence from the fossil record. He believed they would turn up eventually. Some of his contemporaries (such as the eminent Harvard biologist Louis Agassiz) held that the fossil record was clear enough already, and showed that Darwin’s theory was wrong.” “…the ever-expanding fossil archives don’t look good for Darwin, who made clear and concrete predictions that have (so far) been falsified—according to many reputable paleontologists, anyway.” “Darwin’s main problem, however, is molecular biology.” —Professor David Gelernter Once again echoing what I had explained to my students just the day before I discovered his article, Professor Gelernter takes aim at the heart of the Darwinian religion when he discusses the modern scientific field of genetics. He explains in detail the modern understanding of genes, their relationship to the construction of proteins, and the ways in which mutations affect the information contained in existing, functional genes. “If you tinker with a valid gene,” he explains, “you will almost certainly make it worse—to the point where its protein misfires and endangers (or kills) its organism—long before you start making it better.”

To explain why mutations are not capable of salvaging the Darwinian hypothesis, he gives us a mental experiment to show the collection of vast improbabilities that evolution has to overcome in order to move up the Darwinian tree of life and explain how worms can give rise to fish, and then fish to lizards. He explains how we can calculate the odds of random chance processes creating a functional protein which can be of benefit to the organism and contribute to this imagined evolutionary path. Imagining we wish to create a chain of 150 amino acids that can be folded into a functional protein (a protein far smaller than the average protein in the human body), he demonstrates that “The total count of possible 150-link chains, where each link is chosen separately from 20 amino acids, 20150. … and there are only 1080 atoms in the universe.”

But despite the amazingly large possibilities for random outcomes, the odds of getting one that can function is amazingly small. Referencing the work of a scientist named Douglas Axe, Professor Gelernter explains that “of all 150-link amino acid sequences,1 in 1074 will be capable of folding into a stable protein. To say that your chances are 1 in 1074 is no different, in practice, from saying that they are zero. It’s not surprising that your chances of hitting a stable protein that performs some useful function, and might therefore play a part in evolution, are even smaller. Axe puts them at 1 in 1077.” “Neo-Darwinian Evolution is—so far—a dead loss.” —Professor David Gelernter “In other words: immense is so big, and tiny is so small, that neo-Darwinian evolution is—so far—a dead loss. Try to mutate your way from 150 links of gibberish to a working, useful protein and you are guaranteed to fail. Try it with ten mutations, a thousand, a million—you fail. The odds bury you. It can’t be done.” Professor Gelernter is not professing a faith in the six day creation, 6,000 years ago as Genesis describes, and we don’t wish to overstate his position. His words merely illustrate the fact that scientists of every field and professors in every avenue of academic study have come to the same conclusion once they have been moved to consider Darwinian evolution with an open mind: Darwinian Evolution is “a dead loss.” It asks the impossible. It is a religion which demands countless miracles, while at the same time rejecting the existence of a miracle worker. At the end of my last talk, a student asked me why, if evolution is so obviously false, do people still believe it? I replied that, most people simply don’t know the facts. Many fail to define “Evolution” so that it means what Darwin meant. Instead they come to think it is simply any change over time, thus making it not only easy to accept, but easy to find evidence for. Many, such as Professor Gelernter, do not take the time and effort to examine it until challenged to do so.

“You cannot add by subtracting.” —Professor David Gelernter What I taught those students, and what Professor Gelernter discovered through the writings of Intelligent Design proponents is nothing the common person cannot comprehend. It boils down to ideas as simple as, “You cannot add by subtracting.” But the reason why many are capable of facing the facts and still embracing evolution comes down to an unwelcome conclusion. As I explained to the students, when you realize that evolution is impossible, then you have to ask where we came from. And when you realize that the natural processes cannot account for all life, then you must conclude that something above nature—something SUPERnatural must be the explanation. And when you understand the information in the cell, the fine tuning of the universe, and a host of other observable facts of science, you must conclude that we have a brilliant, intelligent, supernatural designer. “I hope there is no God! I don’t want there to be a God…” —Thomas Nagel, Professor of Philosophy and Law at New York University But that means… God. And that means WE cannot be our own gods, and make our own rules, and live as if there is no authority over us. And to some, this is a conclusion which is unacceptable, and they would prefer to embrace a lie than accept this truth. Professor Richard Lewontin once admitted this when he said, “…we have a prior commitment, a commitment to materialism…Moreover, that materialism is absolute, for we cannot allow a Divine Foot in the door.”

Professor of Philosophy and Law at New York University, Thomas Nagel, once admitted, “I want atheism to be true and am made uneasy by the fact that some of the most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers. It isn’t just that I don’t believe in God and, naturally, hope that I’m right in my belief. It’s that I hope there is no God! I don’t want there to be a God…” He went on to admit, “My guess is that this cosmic authority problem is not a rare condition and that it is responsible for much of the scientism and reductionism of our time. One of the tendencies it supports is the ludicrous overuse of evolutionary biology to explain everything about human life, including everything about the human mind…” For those who are capable of considering these matters with an open mind, we are dedicated to assisting others to “Always be prepared to give an answer” (1 Peter 3:15). For those who are not, we pray that God would do a work in their hearts and their minds to receive the truth, that HE can set them free. This is why I spent three days teaching those students what Genesis says, and why they can trust it. Original article from Creation Today Read the full article

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austinpanda · 5 years

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Dad Letter 101119

9 November, 2019

Dear Dad--

Our home begins to look and feel much more like home. The landlords, Maine Real Estate Management, have made life difficult by creating two new trailer pads near the entrance to the park, and designating them “1A” and “1B,” when previously the trailers had only been numbered. The big computer in the sky just can’t handle that. Google maps thinks our home is a mile from where it actually is. I have no idea where the police or ambulance will go if we ever have to call 9-1-1.

But, together with MREM, we’ve convinced the appropriate parties of our existence. The mailman knows where we are, Spectrum finally dispatched someone who gave us access to the internet again, and UPS, Fedex, and food delivery people all seem to be able to find us. We got our first utility bill yesterday, with a yellow Post-It note on it, kindly asking us to contact the electric company to let them know we’re 1A, and not lot 1. Welcome to my world, assholes! I couldn’t update my address online, and didn’t feel like calling them, but I was able to switch us to paperless billing online, so we won’t receive mail from them any longer.

Minor problems abound.

My nice computer speakers now produce a loud hum whenever they’re switched on, regardless how you adjust the volume knob. Turning it up and drowning out the hum seems effective.

Our fridge only cools stuff down to about 55 degrees. It’s supposed to be closer to 40. We don’t like drinking milk anymore, because it isn’t cold.

We only have about six minutes of hot water in the shower, and then you’re DONE. You might not be done, but when the hot water goes, you’re DONE.

There’s a minor leak over the back door when it rains heavily. Fortunately, the previous tenants installed plastic hooks on the top corners of the door to hold a towel in exactly the right place to catch the drips!

The back door light isn’t working. The bulb had shattered, somehow. When I tried to get at the bulb, the whole light fixture fell apart. So that’s kind of nasty.

We have a one-meter cement cube next to our kerosene tank and I don’t know what the cube is for.

I suppose I need to advise the landlords, to see what can be fixed. I just don’t want to, because you have to call them and ask. You may sense a theme here. Calling people to ask them for shit is not my favorite pastime. We had to call Spectrum five times before they sent someone to install our internet service.

Here’s the thing, though: Now that we’re settled in, receiving mail, about to have new driver’s licenses, we need to get jobs. And having a job, and having to go to that job, and do that job, and stay at that job till the workday is done, over and over, is nowhere near as fun as NOT having a job. I know the only answer to this problem is, “Tough titty. Get a job anyway,” but I need no further reminders about the uncaring nature of reality.

What kind of job to get? Marijuana is legal here, perhaps I could get a job on a pot farm, if there’s one near me. I could get some die-dyed bib overalls, and chew on a marijuana stalk as one would a wheat stalk, and say things like, “The ballast on the HPS needs replacing over the Bubblegum Northern Lights Gorilla Glue Strawberry Cough hybrids, ayup.”

I could work foodservice. I don’t care; I like cleaning things. Problems with that: severe flat feet and assorted ankle bullshit means I can’t stand up for more than an hour or two without significant and increasing pain. Also the pay sucks.

There’s a university nearby. This seems like a good possibility for employment. I can type quickly, and I’d be surrounded by young, horny college students. I’m sure they’re fun to be around!

Either way, I need to think long-term with the job. Need some security, some chance for growth, as little customer interaction as possible, and some bennies. Perhaps it’s not too late to attend medical school. That’s an inexpensive pastime!

Of course, one of the biggest reasons we did this, was that we wanted to live someplace where we didn’t have to work so hard just to keep the rent paid. And we did well on that score! We got twice the floor space, and our rent has dropped from $1,050 per month to $825. The rest of our bills should be comparable to Austin. Electricity: we’ll use less in the summer, more in the winter. Our car insurance and internet cost a bit less, but now we have to pay for kerosene and plowing.

So that will be the next goal, finding employment. That will make the transition from Texan to Mainer complete. Also we want a second cat. And we hope that this will, in no way, imply failure or shortcoming on behalf of Samuel L. Jackson, Cat. We just want two, to see if the cold will help encourage them to be friends, and sleep on top of each other.

There’s not much else going on here. The movie version of Doctor Sleep has come out! I have seen it, and would like very much to tell you how it differs from the book, in terms of who gets killed and who doesn’t, but I shan’t! And the book is better, because it spends so much more time with the characters, and Danny’s alcoholic backstory, etc. Still, not a bad movie, with a few good scenes. Doesn’t quite compare with the original, but Stanley Kubrick was from a whole different world of movie making. Also Stephen King famously HATED the original “The Shining” movie. Maybe he feels better about this one. I’ll ask him the next time I go take pictures of his house, if he comes out.

We got our first snow a couple of days ago! It didn’t amount to much more than a dusting, but it lasted most of a day, and was so lovely to look at. It was like every window of this home became a winter screensaver. Most of the views out of this trailer are of other trailers, or the nearby McDonald’s, but some of the views are of big tall evergreens that surround us. The trailer faces north, so we get sunlight through our starboard side in the mornings, port side in the afternoon, but we’re so far north that the sun now sets at about 4:15 pm. It’s really weird!

We have purchased snow boots, parkas, a snow shovel, and a car scraper thingy to clean my windshield. I’ve got my Maine driver’s license, some Maine car insurance, and I’m working on getting my car registered in Maine. I heard that, if you don’t know how to drive on icy, frozen roads, you just, “Pretend you’re taking your grandma to church. There’s a platter of biscuits and 2 gallons of sweet tea in glass jars in the back seat. She’s wearing a new dress and holding a crock pot full of gravy.” I guess this means driver slowly and cautiously. We are prepared!

Much love to you both! More updates to follow!

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inloveandwords · 5 years

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This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story).

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 (or 10 (or even more!) if you’re feeling adventurous) books

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

The Book of Love (Magdalene Line Trilogy #2) by Kathleen McGowan

Maureen Paschal thought she might rest and work on her book after discovering the gospel written by Mary Magdalene that revealed Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married. The truth of their story rocked the world and made Maureen a target of those who did not like her discovery and a heroine to those who did. Then Maureen receives a strange package containing what looks like an ancient letter written in Latin and signed with a symbol. She discovers that its author is an extraordinary woman whom history has overlooked — or covered up — Countess Matilda of Tuscany, and in the letter Matilda demands the return of her “most precious books and documents.” Maureen soon finds herself in a race across Italy and France, where hidden dangers await her and her lover, Berenger, as they begin to realize that they are on the trail of another explosive discovery: the Book of Love, the Gospel written in Jesus’ own hand. As Maureen learns more about Matilda, an eleventhcentury warrior countess who was secretly married to a pope, she begins to see the eerie connections between herself and Matilda, connections she must trace to their source if she is to stop the wrong people from finding the Book of Love and hiding it forever. Weaving together Matilda’s little-known true story and Maureen’s thrilling search, “The Book of Love” follows two amazing heroines as their stories intertwine through time. Maureen is immersed in the mysteries of the labyrinth, the beautiful poetry of the Song of Songs, the world’s greatest art and architecture, and Matilda’s amazing legacy…until a potentially fatal encounter reveals the Book of Love to Maureen — and to the reader.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Dear me from June 27, 2011… y tho?

The Six Rules of Maybe by Deb Caletti

Scarlet spends most of her time worrying about other people. Some are her friends, others are practically strangers, and then there are the ones no else even notices. Trying to fix their lives comes naturally to her. And pushing her own needs to the side is part of the deal. So when her older sister comes home unexpectedly married and pregnant, Scarlet has a new person to worry about. But all of her good intentions are shattered when the unthinkable happens: she falls for her sister’s husband. For the first time in a long time, Scarlet’s not fixing a problem, she’s at the center of one. And ignoring her feelings doesn’t seem to be an option…

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: It is my personal mission to read every Deb Caletti book ever written. Also, I own this book already.

Dead Beautiful (Dead Beautiful #1)by Yvonne Woon

On the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Renée Winters was still an ordinary girl. She spent her summers at the beach, had the perfect best friend, and had just started dating the cutest guy at school. No one she’d ever known had died. But all that changes when she finds her parents dead in the Redwood Forest, in what appears to be a strange double murder.

After the funeral Renée’s wealthy grandfather sends her to Gottfried Academy, a remote and mysterious boarding school in Maine, where she finds herself studying subjects like Philosophy, Latin, and the “Crude Sciences.”

It’s there that she meets Dante Berlin, a handsome and elusive boy to whom she feels inexplicably drawn. As they grow closer, unexplainable things begin to happen, but Renée can’t stop herself from falling in love. It’s only when she discovers a dark tragedy in Gottfried’s past that she begins to wonder if the Academy is everything it seems.

Little does she know, Dante is the one hiding a dangerous secret, one that has him fearing for her life.

Dead Beautiful is both a compelling romance and thought-provoking read, bringing shocking new meaning to life, death, love, and the nature of the soul.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is already on my bookshelf. I don’t plan on unhauling it just yet 🙂

Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby

Annie loves Duncan — or thinks she does. Duncan loves Annie, but then, all of a sudden, he doesn’t. Duncan really loves Tucker Crowe, a reclusive Dylanish singer-songwriter who stopped making music ten years ago. Annie stops loving Duncan, and starts getting her own life.

In doing so, she initiates an e-mail correspondence with Tucker, and a connection is forged between two lonely people who are looking for more out of what they’ve got. Tucker’s been languishing (and he’s unnervingly aware of it), living in rural Pennsylvania with what he sees as his one hope for redemption amid a life of emotional and artistic ruin — his young son, Jackson. But then there’s also the new material he’s about to release to the world: an acoustic, stripped-down version of his greatest album, Juliet — entitled, Juliet, Naked.

What happens when a washed-up musician looks for another chance? And miles away, a restless, childless woman looks for a change? Juliet, Naked is a powerfully engrossing, humblingly humorous novel about music, love, loneliness, and the struggle to live up to one’s promise.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: This had been on my bookshelf for a long time, but I actually recently sold it back to Books a Million since my sister forced me to watch the movie. I didn’t love the movie, so I don’t plan on reading the book either.

Secrets of Eden by Chris Bohjalian

From the bestselling author of The Double Bind, Midwives, and Skeletons at the Feast comes a novel of shattered faith, intimate secrets, and the delicate nature of sacrifice.

“There,” says Alice Hayward to Reverend Stephen Drew, just after her baptism, and just before going home to the husband who will kill her that evening and then shoot himself. Drew, tortured by the cryptic finality of that short utterance, feels his faith in God slipping away and is saved from despair only by a meeting with Heather Laurent, the author of wildly successful, inspirational books about . . . angels.

Heather survived a childhood that culminated in her own parents’ murder-suicide, so she identifies deeply with Alice’s daughter, Katie, offering herself as a mentor to the girl and a shoulder for Stephen – who flees the pulpit to be with Heather and see if there is anything to be salvaged from the spiritual wreckage around him. But then the State’s Attorney begins to suspect that Alice’s husband may not have killed himself. . .and finds out that Alice had secrets only her minister knew.

Secrets of Eden is both a haunting literary thriller and a deeply evocative testament to the inner complexities that mark all of our lives. Once again Chris Bohjalian has given us a riveting page-turner in which nothing is precisely what it seems. As one character remarks, “Believe no one. Trust no one. Assume all of our stories are suspect.”

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: This is on my bookshelf, but I honestly don’t plan on reading it. Time to unhaul it!

Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts

Declan Fitzgerald had always been the family maverick, but even he couldn’t understand his impulse to buy a dilapidated mansion on the outskirts of New Orleans. All he knew was that ever since he first saw Manet Hall, he’d been enchanted-and obsessed-with it. So when the opportunity to buy the house comes up, Declan jumps at the chance to live out a dream.

Determined to restore Manet Hall to its former splendor, Declan begins the daunting renovation room by room, relying on his own labor and skills. But the days spent in total isolation in the empty house take a toll. He is seeing visions of days from a century past, and experiencing sensations of terror and nearly unbearable grief-sensations not his own, but those of a stranger. Local legend has it that the house is haunted, and with every passing day Declan’s belief in the ghostly presence grows.

Only the companionship of alluring Angelina Simone can distract him from the mysterious happenings in the house, but Angelina too has her own surprising connection to Manet Hall-a connection that will help Declan uncover a secret that’s been buried for a hundred years.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I have two shelves full of Nora Roberts books right now and I’ve only ever read one series by her. While I enjoyed it, the only reason why I own so many of her books is because I inherited them from a friend. TBH I don’t know that I’m ever going to get to reading most of them. I hate reading mass market paperbacks and 99% of them are in that format. At some point, when I gather enough books, I’m planning on getting rid of most of my mass market paperbacks. For now, though, I’ll hang on to this.

The Letter (The Christmas Box Trilogy #3) by Richard Paul Evans

Nineteen years after the death of their young daughter, an estranged couple finds a letter at the base of the girl’s gravestone. Feeling in his heart that the letter is from the mother who abandoned him as a child, the husband embarks on a poignant journey of self-discovery and renewed love. The bestselling author of THE CHRISTMAS BOX brings another universal message of hope and love to Spanish-speaking readers.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: It’s part of a series I haven’t read yet!

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

“Come to me–come to me entirely now,” said he. “Make my happiness–I will make yours.”

Born into a poor family and raised by an oppressive aunt, young Jane Eyre becomes the governess at Thornfield Manor to escape the confines of her life. There her fiery independence clashes with the brooding and mysterious nature of her employer, Mr. Rochester. But what begins as outright loathing slowly evolves into a passionate romance. When a terrible secret from Rochester’s past threatens to tear the two apart, Jane must make an impossible choice: Should she follow her heart or walk away and lose her love forever?

Unabashedly romantic and utterly enthralling, Jane Eyre endures as one of the greatest love stories of all time. This must-have edition of a timeless classic is beautifully presented for a modern teen audience.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: MUST. READ.

The Taking by Dean Koontz

On the morning that will mark the end of the world they have known, Molly and Niel Sloan awaken to the drumbeat of rain on their roof. It has haunted their sleep, invaded their dreams, and now they rise to find a luminous silvery downpour drenching their small California mountain town. A strange scent hangs faintly in the air, and the young couple cannot shake the sense of something wrong.

As hours pass and the rain continues to fall, Molly and Niel listen to disturbing news of extreme weather phenomena across the globe. Before evening, their little town loses television and radio reception. Then telephone and the Internet are gone. With the ceaseless rain now comes an obscuring fog that transforms the once-friendly village into a ghostly labyrinth. By nightfall the Sloans have gathered with some of their neighbors to deal with community damage… but also because they feel the need to band together against some unknown threat, some enemy they cannot identify or even imagine.

In the night, strange noises arise, and at a distance, in the rain and the mist, mysterious lights are seen drifting among the trees. The rain diminishes with the dawn, but a moody gray-purple twilight prevails. Soon Molly, Niel, and their small band of friends will be forced to draw on reserves of strength, courage, and humanity they never knew they had. For within the misty gloom they will encounter something that reveals in a terrifying instant what is happening to their world – something that is hunting them with ruthless efficiency.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: This is 100% not my thing. Why did I add it?

Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession by Anne Rice

Autobiographical spiritual memoir providing an account of how the author rediscovered and fully embraced her Catholic faith after decadesas a self-proclaimed atheist. Begins with her childhood in NewOrleans, when she seriously considered entering a convent. As she grewinto a young adult she delved into concerns about faith, God, and theCatholic Church that led her away from religion. The author finallyreclaimed her Catholic faith in the late 1990s, realizing howmuch she desired to surrender her being, including herwriting talent, to God.

Date added to TBR: Jun 27, 2011 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: This is the second book in a series. I got a little excited over the name, apparently.

Here are the stats

Previous Total TBR Count: 1896

Updated Total TBR Count: 1951

Total Ditched Today: 6

Total Kept Today: 4

Bye-Bye Books: Decluttering my TBR March 2019 This post was inspired by Ally’s series (which was inspired by Lia at Lost in a Story…

#declutter

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austinpanda · 5 years

Text

The Spokane Diaries 03.30.2019

A lot has happened to the moving plan. And currently the plan could best be described as a vague, amorphous thing, with no clear destination, and too many tear-stained exclamation points. So I think it wise if I pause for a minute to summarize everything that’s happened up till now, with all its context, the choices we made and events which befell us.

When the plan was first formed, we immediately picked the city of Spokane, Washington to move to. It was just the right size; big enough to have everything we need, small enough not to have traffic. Decent amount of snow each year. Not next to a mountain, but a river with a gorgeous waterfall runs through it, and you can take a cable gondola ride across it. It hosted a world’s fair in the 70s, and some of those constructions remain. It has very friendly pot laws--just go in, show your ID, buy your pot.

Then, cause I’m such a genius, it occured to me that we’d picked Spokane kind of quickly, and mostly because we’d just visited Seattle, and this seemed an affordable Seattle. Perhaps, I wondered aloud, we should take a moment to consider the possibility of non-Spokane, of a different city entirely. Surely we didn’t pick the perfect place on the first attempt without even considering the rest of the lower 48, right? What might happen if we think outside the Spokane box?

A good deal of the filtering and decision-making about possible places for relocation occurs quickly and automatically. We don’t want to live anyplace that doesn’t get a decent amount of snow each year, so the bottom half of the country is therefore immediately discarded. We don’t want to live in a state that doesn’t allow recreational weed. We want natural beauty, or at least some sort of geographical or geological feature that makes it a winner. And it had to be affordable; we want to be able to afford living there and save for our dreams simultaneously.

For a period, Bangor Maine ruled the roost. It’s cold. It’s got New England natural beauty, and touches Canada, America’s hat, that country full of nice people who will never shoot you. Stephen King lives part time in a mansion in Bangor; you can take a picture of yourself standing at its spooky wrought-iron gates. It’s affordability was so-so, but it was on the eastern seaboard, less than a day’s drive to places like Boston, which was incredible! And hey, there’s always a chance you might be getting drywall screws at the hardware store and bump into Stephen King and get a selfie with the best-selling horror author ever! No mountains nearby, but...New England! Think of being there in the fall, when the leaves change color. Find a highway that’s not too heavily travelled and go driving in October and take pictures of the red, orange, and gold trees.

Problems began cropping up. The fact that the affordability was “so-so” didn’t help, and while Maine has legalized pot, political wrangling (and the endeavor’s own inherent complexity) have created a situation where dispensaries are not open for business yet, and I can’t tell when they will be.

And if anyone reading this doesn’t know about my relationship with pot, here it is: I have one, and I don’t particularly like living someplace where it’s banned for foolish reasons, such as:

It’s a gateway drug! (Then so is milk, and watching TV, and breathing air. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, dumbasses. You can’t even make that argument with alcohol, which actually can kill you.)

It robs you of your ambition! (Kinda, in that it softens the effects of certain unpleasant realities which I determine can’t be changed, and makes them easier to live with.)

It’s bad for you! (So are bacon and lethargy. That’s my decision to make, not someone else’s.)

It feeds a system whereby people are enslaved, brutalized, and killed! (No, the fact that it’s illegal feeds it. Make it legal, and no one ever shoots anyone over it again.)

Think of the children! (To quote George Carlin, fuck the children. Or possibly give them weed, too. You know how much less trauma I’d have suffered in high school if they’d had a weed club? I could have been networking in high school, for chrissakes. I might even have gone to a better college.)

Pardon that diversion. So, when last we checked, the husband and I were considering Bangor, Maine to be a possibility, but not necessarily the front-runner. What other places could we consider? Friends made suggestions; we checked them out. An early favorite was Marquette, Michigan.

Ah, lovely Marquette. It’s a picture postcard lakeside beauty. It sits on Lake Superior, and has the largest wooden dome--The Superior Dome--in the (country? known universe?). It was a small town, but it had a university and a pride parade, so it wasn’t that unfortunate squalid reactionary kind of small town. It’s beautiful in the fall, even though the fall only lasts a week. And it has that natural beauty/interesting feature we wanted, Lake Superior. With a lake that big, it’s just as good as living on the ocean, in that you can’t see anything but water all the way to the horizon, but without hurricanes. And Marquette was very affordable, best affordability of all considerations so far.

Couple of problems. Weed was just made legal by vote, but no dispensaries yet, and that could take a couple of years. And because Marquette is such a small town, with a population south of 21,000, we grew worried about our ability to find jobs. And then there was the snow.

Marquette gets about 200 inches of snow per year. One may immediately think, “Okay, well, then at least it’s less than 200 most years, right? Like 150 some years?” This year, Marquette had over 200 inches before the end of February, and they have snow as late as May. Let’s say they don’t get much more this year, and end up with 215 inches of snow per this year. That’s EIGHTEEN FEET of snow. I would sum up the first year of such conditions with, “Wow, cool! That’s a ton of snow!” And years two through infinity would be, “Holy fuck, please make it stop snowing!”

By this point, we had started with Spokane, changed our minds to Bangor, changed our minds again to definitely Marquette, then to maybe Marquette, and then all the wheels came off.

The year 2019 began, and it began poorly: the government was shut down, and because he was deemed essential, Zach was forced to continue working (for the IRS!) for no pay. Then he had a traffic accident--for him, a mountain of trauma, stress, and unwanted interaction--and his car was deemed a total loss. And the title wasn’t in his name. And his parents had to sign and notarize things, and he wasn’t close with them at the time, and they live in Montana.

All this stuff results in many extra hours of Bad Brain, lots of anger, and self-recrimination, and stress, and paperwork and interacting with potentially unpleasant people who may give you the help you need, and may not! Meanwhile, we have to keep working. Have to keep paying the bills. Have to keep making music (him) and trying not to subconsciously steer every moving plan we formulate into the rocky, prickly pear-studded embankment of failure with depressed second-guessing (me).

This brings us to a couple of weeks ago. We still have not been paid for Zach’s car by our insurance company, because of the many steps required to get the car titled in Zach’s name, all of which require signing and notarization, some here, some in Montana. And then, my brain decided to throw this out there: We’ve been to Denver. They have weed. They have mountains. They have snow, and jobs, and they’re closer! It’s under a hundo to fly there, and the flight is just over two hours. Easier to move to; easier to visit. In fact, specifically we chose Boulder. It features more snow and fewer traffic jams than Denver, though we could commute to Denver, if necessary for work.

Then, would you believe, problems. Boulder (and Denver, to a lesser extent) are not very affordable at all. It’s just right in every other aspect, but in price, it’s ungood. We’d have to spend maybe $100 less per month on rent there than here in Austin. In Marquette, with a little luck, we could spend $500 less. Think what we could do to Zach’s student loan bills with that shit! Think of the medical care and dentistry and car repairs and utility bills we could afford with that! None of that happens if we choose Boulder. We get mountains, but we pay dearly for them.

Now, to step back a smidge, consider this: I know that there will be problems with any choice we make. We’re not going to make a choice that results in us driving a U-Haul from our microscopic apartment in Austin to a mansion in Shangri-La. And I figure there’s pretty much one thing that’ll soften this transition: money. How much sounds like enough? Here’s how I tend to think of it: I’m about to do something that will involve me hanging from a rope tied to a loose branch over a thousand-foot chasm, and the only thing I’ll be able to influence is how good a rope it’s going to be. How much am I willing to pay to make sure the rope won’t fail? What if a $100 rope isn’t nearly as good as a $1,000 rope? What if the best rope you can get costs $10,000. Are you willing to spend less than that, if there’s even a chance you could save it up? ($10,000 is what we’re aiming for, by the way.)

Something tells me there’s an easier solution to this conundrum, but it may be prohibitively difficult to find. Like...the perfect mate exists, but unfortunately, he/she/whoever lives in Turkmenistan and there’s absolutely ZERO chance that you’ll ever be within a thousand miles of ‘em, literally or figuratively. But! There’s always the chance that someone reading this may think, “Well, the solution is obvious; you just need to ignore concern X and move to city Y, and you’re kind of a dumbass for not figuring that out yourself.” The choices, then, are to ignore our concerns about weather, jobs, weed, ease to relocate to, distance from Austin, etc. and just move to Boulder, Colorado, Marquette, Michigan, Bangor, Maine, Spokane, Washington, Rapid City, South Dakota, Ashgabat, Turkmenistan (its capital!), or someplace else. Bam. Book it. Done.

This is a lot of the reason why I’ve been depressed recently: because I had a big, fat, beautiful GOAL for a while, and it got turned into a big, distressing, confusion. The best idea we’ve had so far to decide how to approach it? We’re going to save up and visit Boulder. Then we’re going to save up and visit Spokane or Marquette or Bangor. We’ll go to the places. We’ll observe our reactions. We’ll try to smart-decide instead of dumb-decide. We’ll be open to suggestions.

Marquette, Michigan

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