#and it will literally always put me on the defensive
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Darkness on Umbara Chp.4 (Rex x Reader)
Chapter 3. Chapter 5.
Injured
cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, Reader gets shot, POV of getting seriously hurt, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK
Minors DNI, even if theres no smut
You hated that you were right.
It was a total of 15 hours of marching before the battalion was commanded to stop. A quick survey of your surroundings told you that the platoons had made it to a main road.
Ah yes, Anakin’s plan. Follow the road after probing the city's defenses. The scouts ahead would tell the rest of the 501st what to expect. From there, Rex and Krell would be able to plan ahead. Knowing what to expect would keep casualties to a minimum.
“Are you questioning my order!?”
Nevermind…
You sighed, looking up from where you tended to Jock’s broken leg. You were close enough to listen to Pong Krell tear into poor Rex again. He had a holo up, showing a map of the area, and the proposed plan, “this Battalion will take the main road straight to the capital. you will not stop and you will not turn back regardless of the resistance you meet,” He threw his hands up, shutting down the map, “we will attack them with all our troops. Not some sneak attack with a few men! That is my order and you will follow it explicitly. Do I make myself clear, CT-7567?”
You could tell from Rex’s stance that he wasn’t confident in the new General’s plan, in fact, you could tell he flat out hated it, “Yes, General.” but, Rex was a captain, and Krell a general.
“Now engage!” The Jedi commanded, earning a stiff salute from the captain.
You stood, after treating the ARF trooper’s leg. It was a tad more complicated treatment, as you needed to perform a surgery to put the bone back in place. However, after using about a liter of bacta, and some well placed sutures, Jock’s leg should heal fine after some rest. To be safe, you kept him in a medicine induced sleep for the next few hours.
Kix dealt with Oz easily. The medic expertly put the kneecap back into place. The soldier gave an experimental kick and stood, “Good as new, Kix. Thank you.” Oz nodded, sounding rather happy to be back to walking. Or it was the painkillers. You watched him drape an arm around Ringo.
Definitely the painkillers.
You cast a glance over to your lover. His helmet was on and he was already informing the men. Even from where you were, you could see Fives and Jesse ready to argue. It was a stupid plan, and they all knew it.
With a sigh, you got back on the speeder. Since Krell wasn’t going to march at the front, you’d need to stay near him. From what you’ve seen, he’ll probably be at a vantage point overlooking the road. If things went south, which they most likely would with such a careless plan, you’d be a safe distance away to tend to the seriously wounded away from the battlefield.
“Doctor.” The Jedi approached, almost as if your thoughts summoned him. His hands were behind his back, “You will be with the men on the main road.”
You furrowed your brow, “General, my training and rank dictate I always remain behind cover. Usually away from any battle if I can help it. I’m not supposed to be on the front lines.”
Marching with the men was one thing. Marching with the men directly to a battle was another. Plus, you were supposed to maintain the medical supplies and keep an eye on Jock.
“Plans change, as a soldier you need to be prepared to adapt to the situation.” He shot back, tone indicating that he wasn’t going to argue.
“Sir, Jock and the medical supplies-.”
“Will remain with me. Such supplies are too important to be guarded by anyone but me.” Krell stated coldly. You were getting on his nerves and he wasn’t going to budge.
You looked dumbfounded, but saluted, “Yes, General.” Your words were defeated. Still, you had to suck it up and your steps lead you away to where Fives was seething alongside Jesse and Kix.
Rex wasn’t going to like this. You knew he took comfort in your position away from the front lines. Of course, he trusted you could handle yourself but you were a doctor first before a warrior.
“So…I’m marching with you.” You informed them as you all began to walk to the main road.
The ARC trooper practically exploded, “What!?”
“What about the supplies?” Kix sounded downright stressed. He looked back at Krell, who had gotten Appo to drive the speeder. This General wasn’t doing anything to help his nerves. Good men would die if anything happened to that vehicle and everything on it.
“Fuck the supplies, what about you? You're our doctor. Kix won’t be able to handle all of us on his own.” Jesse chimed, “especially if this goes as badly as I think it will.”
You rubbed your temple, “Krell thought it better the supplies would be near him. Keep them off the front lines. I am to remain with the battalion.” Your foot met the flat, glasslike road. If it wasn’t so fucking dark on this planet, you assumed it would look pretty, “I’m pretty sure this is him punishing me for earlier.”
“What?” Your lover had overheard and approached, steps hurried to your side, “Why?”
“Enough, what's done is done.” You sighed, crossing your arms, “If things get bad I’ll do my best to slip away and get to safety.”
“Mesh’la, let me talk to him-.” Rex’s emotions got the better of him and he slipped out a term of endearment. He didn’t want to wait, turning to find the General again. You grabbed his arm, halting him.
“So he can yell at you again?” Your voice was steady, “No, it’ll only piss him off. Besides, I’d risk getting shot if it means spending time away from him.”
Fives snickered, but Rex didn’t seem amused, “I don’t want you getting hurt.” He admitted quietly, “It’s dangerous.”
To be honest, you were nervous. Yes, you’ve seen combat. Yes, you could defend yourself. But you weren't trained for front line combat. You were trained for medical care, potentially even surgery, on the field. You were afraid of becoming a liability. Something for the others to worry about.
And Rex…clearly feared you getting hurt or killed.
You looked around before brushing your hand against his. In response, he grabbed it and squeezed before letting go.
Fives, the ever great friend, stood behind you both, blocking anyone's view of your brief moment of affection.
“Kids, behave.” Kix joked, earning a small laugh from you.
“Oh I absolutely knew something was going on with the both of you,” Jesse snickered.
The clone captain cleared his throat, “I don’t know what you're talking about.”
“Sure, sure.” Fives joined in on the teasing, “No sleepovers between you two. And if you go out, be home before curfew.”
Oh, his brothers did love to tease.
Rex let out a deep sigh and shook his head. You knew under that helmet he was blushing. He was most likely flustered, so you did him the favor of shushing your friends, “That's enough you three.”
The slight jovial mood was ended quickly by another voice, “Sir,” Looking back you recognized Tup walking up next to Hardcase. Hopefully, he hadn’t seen or heard anything between you and the captain. Though, judging by his next question, he most likely didn’t, “why aren't we sticking to the original plan, and probing the city defenses first?”
“We can do this. Let's take them.” The hyperactive trooper raised his weapon slightly.
Jesse scoffed, “Yeah, leave it to Hardcase to dive in head first.”
Fives let his thoughts be known by speaking up again, “The General's new plan is reckless.”
“I agree.” you nodded, “It seems like he doesn’t care about strategy. Or the lives it’ll cost.”
Another trooper interrupted you all, “You ever think that maybe the General knows what he is doing?” Dogma snapped.
“Watch the tone.” Kix retorted, silencing the rather obedient soldier.
“Enough.” Rex stamped out the small quarrel.
Fives turned to him, completely ignoring Dogma’s words, “I know you think this is a bad idea.”
“I raised my objection to General Krell's plan, but he didn't agree.” There was a sigh in the captain's voice, “So, this is it.”
You wanted to hold your lover's hand again. Comfort him. Tell him he was doing as good a job as anyone in this situation. He sounded so…tired. More so than previous battles and planets.
Krell was getting to him.
The ARC trooper argued, “What if he's wrong? Then what?”
You were about to silence him, but Rex spoke again, “This isn't the time for a debate. Right now, we have to stay alert.” He shut down any future objections.
It worked for a time. The men remained silent, paying close attention to their surroundings. It was only broken by Tup muttering, “Eh, it's too quiet out there.”
He was right. After everything you’ve seen on Umbara so far, you should have been ambushed by now. Your hand drifted to your pistol and you pulled it from your holster.
You had the worst feeling.
It didn’t go away, so you kept your head down. Your eyes had adjusted to the low light of Umbara, and now you were able to make out certain details of the road. The tiles were hexagonal, and looked glass-like. You guessed the material was this planet's version of marble. Every step you took was slow and deliberate, however, you stopped.
One of the tiles ahead of you had a very, very minor glow. It was easy to miss if you weren’t looking down.
“Doc?” Fives stopped next to you, keeping a grip on his rifle.
A cold feeling washed through your blood. The quiet made sense. The fact that you hadn’t been attacked yet made sense, “I think-” your warning was cut off.
The ground shook as two explosions went off behind you. The sky was temporarily lit up by the green fires of the traps that were set off. Two troopers cried out, getting sent flying before hitting the ground.
“Mines! Nobody move!” As if on cue, everyone hit the ground, keeping low. Rex had his hand on your back as everyone waited for something else to happen.
Your captain got on one knee beside you and pointed behind him. You stared ahead and listened as two troopers checked on their downed fellows.
“Oz is down.”
“So’s Ringo.”
“Damnit.” you hissed, looking back. Even from where you were you could tell they had died in pieces. Even if they survived, they wouldn’t have lasted long based on where half of Oz’s body lay and both of Ringo’s legs landed, “Didn’t even get a chance.”
Such gruesome, violent sights didn’t cause nightmares anymore. Instead, they only fueled your anger at this war. And right now, you were enraged by this careless plan Krell had thrown at the battalion.
“Can you sweep ‘em?” Rex helped you up as he spoke to Fives.
The ARC trooper scanned the road carefully. Within the rays of the scanner, several of the hexagonal tiles reflected the light, “There are more over here,” He informed the soldiers, “Looks like the whole road’s been boobytrapped. Watch your step.”
The march would have continued, but it felt like four steps later when another explosion went off. The ground shook violently and Umbarans burst from the thick, dark foliage. It seemed like they just teleported around you, immediately shooting. Blaster shots came from all sides.
You dove, getting behind Rex. Your back was to his, and your pistol was in your hands. You matched his steps and he matched yours with skill. If he stepped back, you stepped forward. If you turned he turned. It was a small dance the two of you entered, watching each other's blindspots, and shooting any approaching adversaries.
Above the chaos, you heard Tup cry out, “We’re completely exposed!”
“Hold your ground!” the clone captain ordered the men. He focused, shots firing rapidly all around him.
An explosive shot from one of their cannons landed too close. The shockwave knocked you down, landing next to Hardcase, who was surprisingly upbeat, “You want a piece of this!?” He called out, laughing.
You were too focused on not dying to join in on his chipper attitude. Using the trooper as cover, you managed to get up on your knees and continue shooting.
Another shot rang out, the cannon bolt hitting North directly off his AT-RT. The transport collapsed into pieces, and the ARF trooper remained still on the ground.
Using the smoldering metal vehicle as cover, you rushed to his side. It didn’t really occur to you that his head was 3 meters away until you knelt by his body, staining the lightweight plastoid armor on your legs with his blood.
North. Dead.
You mentally checked him off, needing to shut down and work. Someone screamed in agony behind you, so you hurried to them. A shiny was down, gripping his burning side.
“Come with me.” you grabbed his shoulders and rushed back to the downed AT-RT. The hunk of metal and wires was your only cover in the middle of an ambush. Your training took over, blocking out all the noise and chaos. So you worked.
Third degree burn. Bacta can fix it. Cover in bandages, but not too tight. It was a quick treatment, less than 2 minutes you had the shiny back up and fighting.
Another cannon blast, “We’re blown!” someone cried through the loud bang. The ground shook when another boom followed.
“The Umbarans are advancing!”
“Make them eat heat!”
You had to get away. Lay low until the fighting stopped. Maybe Krell would let you get back to the medical speeder…
Looking around quickly, it was clear that wasn’t an option. The Umbarans were closing in, completely surrounding the soldiers. It seemed as though for every enemy that was shot down, two more would take their place.
Dogma skidded down next to you, “They’re coming from all directions!” He shouted, wordlessly giving you his burnt wrist.
Rude, but OK. This wasn’t the time to correct the soldier on his manners, so silently you treated his wound. Once you were done, he got up again and continued to shoot. You were going to follow him, but the force of a nearby cannon shot knocked you into the downed AT-RT, hitting the air out of your lungs. The hit was hard enough to disorient you for a second.
However, you got your bearings quickly and spotted an Umbara advancing on your position.
You attempted to raise your arm, but failed. Your hand wasn’t cooperating, you couldn’t shoot. A different soldier shot the Umbaran down, saving you. Looking down, you noticed blood. Dogma’s most likely, or North’s, but why would their blood stop your arm from working?
Come on, work! You tried aiming your pistol only to drop it. Your hand wasn’t closing properly. You were shaking.
Why…?
Your brain finally comprehended what happened. The blood was yours. Your arm had been hit. A blaster bolt had knocked you into the AT-RT, not cannon fire.
Calm down. Breath. Assess later. You were conscious. You were breathing. The shot to your upper arm most likely wasn’t that bad. You quickly wrapped the wound in a bandage, deciding to deal with it later. Or shock prevented you from thinking clearly.
“We don’t have any cover!” Fives cried out, throwing an Umbaran down and slamming his fist through their glass helmet.
Rex, thankfully, was still alive. His aim was impeccable despite the stress. Everywhere he looked, he shot and everywhere he shot, he hit the target. His tone was stressed but steady as he spoke, “We need to pull back! Get them to follow us. If we draw them out, we can see them!”
“If we can see them, we can hit ‘em!” Jesse stepped backwards, continuously firing at the enemies. He paused to look down at where you were kneeling. He went noticeably rigid, “Doc-!”
“All squads, pull back now!” The captain’s command cut off the trooper.
Without much thought, you grabbed your gun with your functioning hand and ran. You followed Jesse, as he was the closest to you. Your pace matched his as everyone retreated, following the main road back out of the forest where you entered.
A cannon rang out, hitting one of the trees beside you and Jesse. The glowing plant crackled and fell, slamming to the ground with a boom. The smoking trunk offered some much needed cover. Fives leapt over it, turning and landing on his feet to continue to shoot, “Get ready, here they come!”
A soldier close to you, running with the men, was launched back. He cried out in pain, hand going to his neck as he hit the ground.
Neck shot. Graze most likely. Your training kicked in again. You were a doctor. You had a job to do.
You pushed yourself out of the cover and dove to the injured trooper's side. Above you another ARF trooper was firing from his transport, keeping Umbaran blaster shots away from you as you dragged the poor man behind a collapsed AT-RT.
“I-it’s nothin’ doc,” The trooper kept his hand on the side of his smoldering neck.
“That's for me to decide.” you responded, carefully taking off his helmet,“What's your name, soldier?” He had a scar over his lip, and a blue left eye. A blaster shot nicked the metal cover and the both of you flinched down.
“Noct.” He responded, moving his head slightly to give you easier access to the wound.
“I got you Noct.” Your words were calm and collected despite the raging battle around you. Your one hand worked as quickly as you could, getting bacta and bandages on the trooper. A cannon shot again, shaking the ground, but you adapted, being as precise and careful as possible.
It was hard, since your arm still wasn't listening to you, but you got the job done, earning a “Thank you, doc!” from him.
Once Noct had returned to fighting, you took the chance to run further back. You stopped behind Hardcase, who, respectfully, was fucking insane by standing in the middle of the road and mowing down Umbaras with his minigun, “HAHA! Where are you going!? Get back here!”
Fuck it. You remained behind him instead of finding cover, aiming your pistol and firing at the now retreating enemies. Through your haze of tunnel vision and adrenaline, you realized that more forces had joined you. Krell must’ve sent in reinforcements.
Fives stood from his location behind the downed tree, “They’re pulling back!” he cheered. As he spoke, the shots died down. Soon, it was only your side that fired their weapons until the enemies were gone, leaving only silence.
You raised your com to your lips, “Kix, triage,” Immediately, you and the medic got to work. Neither of you had time to rest as you weaved through the soldiers, checking those on the ground. Kix went to the other side of the field, tending to those there. You found a survivor, knocked unconscious with a bleeding shoulder, without pausing, you went through one of your packs and began to bandage him up.
Star on his chest. This was Pointer. You identified him. Single shot. All the way through.
Despite your focus, the yelling of Krell hit your ears, “CT-7567!” He stomped towards Rex, “Do you have a malfunction in your design!” the besalisk jerked forward, getting an inch away from the captain's face, “you've pulled your forces back from taking the capital city, the enemy now has control of this route!” He shoved one large finger into Rex’s chest, causing the clone to step back, “This entire operation has been compromised because of your failure!”
You wanted to yell at the Jedi. tell him to shut up, but your energy was sapped, your injured arm was starting to hurt and good soldiers were dying because of his fucking plan!
Fives spoke up where you couldn’t, “General Krell in case you haven't noticed Captain Rex just saved this platoon surely you won't fail to recognize that.” He spat, venom and hate dripping from every syllable.
The Jedi turned slowly, facing the ARC trooper, “ARC-555,” His words became cold and furious, and he raised one large lightsaber, “Stand down.” The glowing weapon rested extremely close to Fives’ neck. So close, in fact, you looked down, expecting Krell to flat out kill him.
Thankfully, he backed down, “Sir, yes, sir.” The ARC trooper growled, walking away.
Rex finally fought back in his own way, “Sir if I may address your accusation I followed your orders even in the face of a plan that was, in my opinion, severely flawed,” He stepped forward, keeping his eyes on the General, “A plan that cost us men, not clones, men!” Your lover ripped off his helmet to yell, finally snapping under the pressure of an incompetent leader. Even from a distance you could see the fire in his eyes.
Times like this, you remembered why you loved him. His passion. His determination.
Still, the captain continued, “As sure as it is my duty to remain loyal to your command, I also have another duty, to protect those men.” He was seething, but kept his anger under control. It was impressive as, if you were in his position, you might’ve just shot Krell and blamed the Umbarans.
His words seemed to quiet the Jedi. So you stopped listening, praying maybe he finally understood. Krell could say whatever he wanted, right now you had to focus on the injured soldiers. And there were a lot of them.
Your arm started to hurt again, so you took the chance to inject some painkillers.However, it wouldn't matter, as you didn’t have time to do anything to treat yourself. The Umbarans regrouped and attacked again.
You and Kix would have to wait before you could do your jobs and save the men.
#reader insert#star wars x reader#the clone wars x reader#captain rex x reader#star wars tcw#tcw x you#tcw x reader#captain rex#clone wars 501st#arc trooper fives#clone trooper kix#clone trooper hardcase#clone trooper jesse#pong krell#umbara arc
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customer not wearing a mask: *gestures to my mask* do they make you wear it or are you just doing it?
me: oh no one makes me. im just wearing it
him: oh ok. not to shame you or anything. i get it, people are gross, haha
me: haha.
#if you ever make a comment about my mask as someone who does not wear it. idgaf what your intentions are#just merely commenting about the fact im wearing it certainly makes me feel like youre shaming me#especially bc who is ‘THEY’ ??#the government?? there hasnt been a mask mandate since 2021#(wait no sorry i think it ended 2022)#my manager at work??? shes not wearing one im literally the only person in this store employee or customer wearing one#my .. i dont know … my fucking parents? im 21 i make my own decisions#like who tf is ‘THEY’ ????#brot posts#the solidarity i have w the handful of people still wearing masks is unmatched#i had a customer who was wearing a mask compliment me on mine and it was like hehe yeah i like yours too ^w^ !!#so im fine with people commenting about it#its just wildly different connotations depending on what you say and if youre also wearing one#someone who doesnt wear one asking me why i wear one will always come across as antagonistic#and it will literally always put me on the defensive#especially fi it comes from a customer and im forced to be polite in mt answer#like yea customers are fucking gross AND i love the privacy of not letting customers see my face#but i cant say that. to a customer. and like what do you want me to agree with you? you put me in an awkward position#where i can either defend myself and possibly offend you or have to lie to be polite#so i always have to go the non answer route and just laugh it off and not actually say anything in response#its just so uncomfortable like why are you putting me in this position#just let me fucking wear my mask why do i always have to be on the defensive about it
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Not to keep beating dead horses like I so much love to do but I am still completely Flabbergasted and Astonished at how you (Merle Ambrose) could discover the most terrifying fact that a child that is essentially under your care has been indoctrinated into a cult (which, by the way, a process that has taken over the course of years) ((by an agent that has been stationed in a direct position to make it easier to access and manipulate children, that has easily escaped your notice for such a long time)) that worships a nihilistic entity whose ultimate goal is the absolute and total destruction of Everything and Everyone around you, and your one, single, simple-sentenced response to that is to say "Oh, that's a shame. He (Duncan) always was pretty terrible. Hope he gets better someday." And then to move on from those extremely worrying and dangerous bundle of issues permanently without taking any sort of action to protect the vulnerable and make sure nothing like this ever happens again
#i love ambrose as a character but the things he does makes me clench my fists so hard blood circulation gets cut off#the absolute.... lack of care ambrose has for certain things literally render me speechless#and like okay in his uh. in his uh “defense”. there was like. other stuff going on at the time. i get that#like the end of the world for the 7th time yeah there were other things on ambrose's plate#but i dont know how many different ways to put “your children are being manipulated and kidnapped into a cult that means them harm under-#-your nose and it can absolutely happen again“ and make that stick#you... i#that is a horrifying fact to learn and the response is dismissive at BEST#like im not saying ambrose should adopt all 800 children that go to his school or whatever#but like... DO SOMETHING#you have COMPLETE AND UTTER INFLUENCE OVER THE NATIONAL GUARD. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? USE THAT#send out watch parties! hold stranger danger assemblies! have adults regularly check in with kids! install a curfew! ANY OF THOSE THINGS?#like even if ambrose couldnt single-handedly stop a powerful cult he could at least make an effort.... AN EFFORT#ONE ATTEMPT. TO MAKE SURE ****HIS**** SCHOOL AND STUDENTS ARE SAFE........#and the fact that he says something along the lines of “well duncan was always fucked up” ☹️☹️☹️☹️#this shouldt surprise me fir the man who for 1. some reason refuses to fix the death school#2. does not care about dworgyn or mortis in the least#3. keeps trying to pressure necromancers to change schools#4. kidnapped US from earth and used us.#it really shouldnt but........ but#im gonna say it and idc (/lh) if its unpopular. ambrose should not be in power#he is incompetent at best. he is harmful at worst.#he does NOTHING 99.9% of the time and the one Tuesday where he takes action it makes something worse. he should not be in power#this post is /lh but idk. im a little angry#NOT SERIOUSLY ANGRY BUT CMON MAN. CMON BRO#if the game utilized ambrose's potential more and pointed out how useless/paranoid/rash he can be i would ascend to heaven#i would like literally one person (who isnt a villain) in the game to look at ambrose and say “wow hes kinda fucked up”#THATS THE BARE MINIMUM BUT I WILL ACCEPT THAT I WILL.#kind of unrelated but im kinda mad that the only person to correctly point out how weird ambrose is is morganthe#the murderous tyrant. the person we're not supposed to listen to. because she's evil. she couldnt POSSIBLY be right about Good Guy Ambrose!
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)
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one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.
#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking#'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting#the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered'#No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100#why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down?#Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago#Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon#I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness.#We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival#as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence#but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃#The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate#anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it#and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it
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Remember when I got into that string of fights a while back because people were exposing their lack of ethics with incredible takes like:
Uther’s persecution of magic was totally justified because magic is dangerous! It corrupts people!
Merlin had no reason to be afraid of Arthur, he was just being irrational! It’s not like thousands of lives were at stake here! He owed Arthur his private information about how Arthur has unwittingly traumatized him!
Simultaneously, there’s no way Arthur could have known that magic isn’t inherently evil because he’d ~never~ seen magic used for good (despite events going as far back as 1x04 or even 1x03)
Merlin withholding personal information from the people who were a constant threat to his life for being “born wrong” was morally repugnant! He should’ve exposed himself with the information his oppressors would kill him for, to give them a chance to change their minds! There’s totally no other way they could form different opinions!
Arthur deserved to know about Merlin’s magic, despite his condemnation of all things magic which threatened Merlin’s safety, because Arthur was kind or merciful in so many things except, noticeably, magic! Merlin should’ve trusted him!
Uther and Arthur are the REAL victims of the people who they oppress, so they have no choice but to slaughter thousands, children included!
Those were certainly times.
I remember saying at one point that if I knew someone was homophobic, I simply wouldn’t come out to them as gay, because they haven’t earned my trust in that regard. Anything they’ve done for me, they did while believing me to be straight. They likely wouldn’t treat me the same if they knew. Likewise, if a gay person had abused them at one point, it still wouldn’t give them the right to stereotype all gay people as abusive, or to support anti-gay campaigns. Homophobia has no justification. It’s just bigotry.
I said this multiple times, but every response was: “Well that’s different! Magic is actually dangerous!”
Here is what I said (paraphrased):
“If the potential dangers of magic were really the problem—and not just Uther’s excuse to justify banning it—then Uther could always just ban certain spells instead of committing genocide. Same with Arthur, really. But these characters wrongly believe that magic is inherently corrupt, because that worldview is easier to swallow than the hard truth.
“Criminalizing magic is like blaming massacres on all tools when they’re only performed with particular weapons: should whisks be considered a danger because some people murder with military grade assault rifles? Clearly, banning whisks doesn’t solve the problem. Likewise, when a sorcerer gets executed for using magic in the kitchen, Uther has effectively equated this harmless act to malicious crimes like murder. Was there ever a problem with magic itself, or does Uther perhaps have ulterior motives for banning it?
“If murder is already illegal, then banning murder by means of magic is unnecessary—all forms of murder, magical or not, are illegal by default. Making magic illegal does not prevent crimes that are already illegal; it only criminalizes innocent magic use, which means that people are prosecuted and found guilty for anything from using magic for chores to simply being loosely associated with a magical person.
“Uther’s laws helped no one but himself, because they weren’t designed to serve any other purpose. Nothing was accomplished, except that dehumanizing crimes such as trafficking and murder became legal as long as the victim had magic.”
To this, I was told that I “wasn’t understanding.”
What wasn’t I understanding? That people genuinely believe the ban on magic was okay? That they don’t have the slightest inkling of how oppression works, or how their justifications for hypothetical scenarios show their gullibility to real world bigotry? Why even bother defending a fictional character’s fictional genocide?
The ban on magic is ultimately a metaphor for the persecution of a marginalized religion (it’s literally called “The Old Religion”). To support Uther’s (and Arthur’s) claims that magic is inherently dangerous—despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary—is worrying at the least, considering the real life ramifications of fiction.
If you’re forsaking your morals to defend the inexcusable actions of a fictional character or two, then you value your entertainment more than real human lives. Likewise, you shouldn’t excuse any form of bigotry just because you like the person who is perpetuating it. If you can’t even stand by your supposed morals when it comes to fictional characters, there is no chance you will stand by them with real people. Most Arthur stans like him because they believe in his capacity for change, but this acknowledges that he is wrong and needs to change. The less like Uther he is, the better! My Gwaine-stanning is also reliant on him changing his views and accepting responsibility for them. We don’t get to make excuses for their unfair biases!
Merlin and other magical peoples are the victims of their oppressors, not the other way around. It really is that simple, and it pains me to see the hoops people will jump through to dismiss this.
#merlin meta#my meta#merlin emrys#fandom critical#bbc merlin#even the ‘magic IS dangerous’ thing grates at me cause I see that excuse all day every day#reminds me of ‘well those gays ARE dangerous. look at what THIS gay person did! ALL gay ppl are like that one bad person!’#it’s not like everyone who has power of some kind is being discriminated against here cause it’s got nothing to do with whether they’re#powerful or not—the powerful ones are just examples used to inspire fear of magic/bias against them#Uther drowned literal children and slaughtered bloodlines. that’s not self-defense even preemptively. it’s genocide.#it was always about Uther wanting someone to blame for his wife’s death#there’s nothing magic did that wasn’t possible by non-magical means. magic is just one means of doing things when a person isn’t able to#do it a different way. it should be about the act itself that is being committed. NOT the means by which it’s done.#the point is that they’re really not that different in any way that matters#why did I just post merlin discourse that’s been sitting in my drafts for months you may ask? just wanted to put it out there tbh#cluttering the place up and all#tw genocide mention#tw child death mention#long post for ts
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Drove for the first time in 3 years today and I got tailgaited, brights-flashed, followed, and cussed at by a strange man in a stupid sports car after doing literally Nothing wrong
#i was so scared to start driving after getting narcolepsy diagnosis and taking such a long break but i finally felt brave enough with my#meds and stuff and i wanted to take my cousin out. she is also driving now so she was copiloting and helping me the whole time and neither#of us can figure out what happened... it was so weird. im still shaking and teeth chattering like an hour later and my tics are really bad#now thanks a lot you jerk. its always sports cars and pick up trucks i swear... but ive never had this happen#and i havent driven in a while but we really eased into it in the neighborhoods first and stuff and then this happened on a backroad with#minimal traffic...#ive always been a very confident and defensive driver and i cant think of anything i was doing that could have ticked the guy off... it was#so weird.#he literally pulled over and put his hazard lights on bc he was in front of me. and as soon as i went around him he jerked his car over#right behind me really fast and then did all of the stuff i mentioned#he wasnt following us for long so we didnt have to call the police or anything but it was so scary i hate california drivers#my post
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the music i listen to shouldn’t count whenever i’m on my period or sad or depressed or suicidal btw. like i’ve been listening to lucy dacus’ home video nonstop for the past like 3 days. that shouldn’t count.
#it is literally a brilliant album but i do not wanna listen to anything else im dead serious#i try to put another song on and get turned off immediately like this isn’t lucy dacus:/ EVEN MY FAVE SONGS.#the whole point of this post kinda crumbles when u realize i’m kinda always sad n then i lose myself to the whole depression thing a lot but#in my defense i don’t even know it half the time. like me being miserable is just normal#only when i explained to my therapist how i literally do not want to truly do anything or go outside except like. the things i already do#which are already slipping away from that that i learned it was depression or whatever. anyway#if i listen to triple dog dare 120 times that shit better not appear on my wrapped I NEED A FRESH START PLEASE RECOUNT#my text
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sacha…
#the wolfs howl#thoughts in my brain#b4 i start btw this is not a rant in defense of scott at all i do not like him still#but some ppl really blow his politics out of the water compared to what he’s done like#yea we’re gonna ignore the 50k he donated to trevor project in favor of focusing on the varied 30k to various political candidates#its ALWAYS the homophobia. always always always#its never the fact hes outright stated hes pro life; never the potential racism of who he donated to; never anything like that. always -#- the homophobia. which is still bad yes! but u could argue much worse things like w some of the artists hes hired n paid!!!#fiszi was so much worse than scott ever was. and she was gross w it w grooming n transphobia (she was also! FIRED later on!!!!)#like the ONLY reason ppl care is cuz someone pointed it out in 2020. there have literally been no more public donations since#can u imagine the indie game scene if ppl searched out where every dev and employee donated to?? cuz i guarantee not all of them are great!!#my biggest gripe is ppl comparing scott to jk.#riddle me this. is the outwardly proud transphobe whos also very racist and incorporates that into her writing and uses her platform to put-#-minorities down the same as a guy who donated money to a political party in 2020. and doesnt use his platform for that shit. whos openly-#-supportive of his fanbase and acknowledges he wouldnt b where he is without his lgbt fans as well#and again. glances at the 50k to the trevor project he donated#why the hell would he put all that money to a charity for lgbt ppl if he was wholly homophobic. itd be like if jk started giving donations-#-to trans organizations to fund binders and hrt like???#AND AGAIN. PPL FOCUS ON THE HOMOPHOBIA ABOVE ALL ELSE#he didnt donate to xyz BECAUSE they were homophobic. not every political figure is gonna be focused on gay rights theres sm more going on w-#-this country rn like#THINK for a second#also the fact that ppl were surprised the christian cishet white man from texas was republican is still kinda goofy to me like no duh hes-#-gonna be a republican ??#idk!! hes still a shit person obv but the way ppl are like ‘yeah hes a homophobic bigot’ is kinda lying at that point#anyway<3 posting this is probably dangerous but idc. have more critical thinking than hes homophobic because he donated to some ppl u dont-#agree with#politics goes so much farther than just gay rights man#anyway#rant
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ahahaha ohhhh i just remembered i have this damn app im about to be so insufferable
#crow.txt#not writing#lord. should i make a gameplay tag#people who dont think the aquila favonia is good for kaeya are literally so fucking wrong. my boy is insane.#'is he cryo or phys dps?' yes.#when i get him a good hourglass finally. then you'll fucking see the error of your ways.#(already consistently gets huge damage even without freezing)#he and kokomi are so fucking nuts together. its wild.#actually tbh i usually have beidou swapped in for klee atm but i didnt wanna put her here bc her build is embarrassing.#her domain hates me and also she uses treasure hoarder stuff for talents sorry kaeya is priority. albedo too cause he uses ballad books.#i think not. those are kaeyas. you will get your turn small man#it amuses me to no end that my team is always in height order completely unintentionally#i leveled kokomi in precisely a week and a day and the only reason for that was fucking sango pearls.#i had her artis done much sooner but that was dumb luck and me throwing the towel in on the circlet bc i couldnt get a healing bonus one#which is what i have. might sub out for an hp one. kinda the same ish. but we'll see.#and i need one for albedo too same domain its fine (literally not even hard with kokomi and kaeya. and ofc beidou)#forgot cwof domain hates me so bad too and klees build is so meh. but in my defense even with that her damage is crazy rn#me: complains abt never getting a funny witch hat Ever#(does a reliquary while complaining and its literally ONLY HATS only one of which worked for her)#complaining literally always works. always#also need to level koko's gay little book but thats like trivial at this point when i get a few more ley line sprouts#(laughs in 11mil mora)#everyone else ever ive tried to get artis for was like blood sweat and tears meanwhile with kokomi it was just like here you are sir#fighting for my life in the archaic petra domain only for it not to MATTER ANYMORE.#after those artis were released i was like .....whatever. ill only go there if i have a reason to. if i get kokomi. whatever#and now look at me. making a clown of myself. violating my one superiority complex of not believing in healers.#genshinposting
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trying to write a short film and maybe i’m 5 seconds away from stabbing my brain
#i’ve literally done nothing for a month but attempting to write#and tomorrow i have another screenwriting workshop#where i have to give a presentation about my wip#TOMORROW#and i’m considering changing major stuff from the plot#because there’s not enough conflict apparently#i really thought signing up for this would be a good call even tho i haven’t had and original idea since 2021#in my defense i needed something to force to stop daydreaming and actually put words into paper#like i for once actually named the characters which has always been the hardest part#also i’m nervous af because me being me i had to make it gay#and what if everyone there is homophobic#it was too late to start something new from the scratch when i started over thinking it#if someone says anything about my girls(it’s about angsty girlfriends and trauma!!) i’ll cry they’re very dear to me#anyways :)#al rants
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local man once generously described as “a new accordionist in town” by local klezmer musician kinda fucking bad at accordion
#in my defense it's not like i've ever had formal training (or any training at all lol)#my accordion has one button (middle c) marked out so you can use that to orient yourself#accordion is arranged in the circle of 5ths -- so F C G D A E...etc#the thing that's giving me a lot of trouble is going from Fmaj to Amaj#i had a stroke of using my brain and put tape on the a chord so i would be easily able to locate it by touch#and that def helps!#the other thing is that i have absolutely zero hand independence -- as in i can't play with both my right and left hands simultaneously#this hasn't been a problem with any other instrument -- though with string instruments it's not like your hands are rhythmically unsynced#i never played anything super complicated on piano but i didn't have trouble playing like quarters with my left and eights with my right#bc that's a very simple rhythm -- but on accordion i basically can't do it!#idk if it's a specific quirk of the accordion -- there's def a lot of differences#you can't see your hands for one. also on the left hand both your fingers and your wrist is moving#though literally in just one smooth motion lol -- but nvtl it's an extra variable#it's also possible the necessary skills were damaged in a seizure#it might be a combo of both factors! but i am doing exercises to try and desync the hands#also to clarify this isn't self-deprecating or anything i'm upset about#i would definitely like to develop my accordion skills but this is just for fun -- i have no goals of being a professional accordionist lol#i just think it's kind of funny -- people are always like 'wow it's so cool you play the accordion!'#and i'm like Yes i ''play'' the accordion. revel at my coolness#tomorrow i'm playing my first klezmer concert! excited :)))
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bitter diabetic thought soup
#it's me again about to make the enzymes in my pancrea everyone else's problem too <3#anyway it sucks to have psych meds that are life-changing for me that specifically effect my appetite#bc then schedule becomes even more important which good news! improves on said meds and bad news! gets worse when sudden adjustments have#to be made!! anyway today was. not great. for me health wise. and on that note i always feel the need to be so defensive about having my#blood sugar in check like it's some moral failure of me not to when!!! sometimes it's not! sometimes it's high!! sometimes that's not good!#when i feel bad from blood sugar stuff that's not healthy!! but health is sometimes not 100% achieveable and i know i am feeling this on#such a smaller scale compared to other illnesses but it makes me want to scream of course i Want to be healthy and i Try My Best but#the fact is the natural state of my body is not one of health. there is a genetic issue here that makes a baseline state of health and#comfort in my body something that i have to put thought into every fucking day and even if that thought it minimal it's an extra step to#get somewhere some people are just born having pre-taken care of for them#idk man maybe it's just me maybe i just don't know any other diabetics who are my age/have the same type as me (because it's so fucking#understudied and underdiagnosed) and i don't even know if i'm going to say this in a way that makes sense but it feels like 'diabetes'#is not a condition that is in any way considered impactful in daily life and my suspicion is that because it's so fucking common if more#consideration were given to how it affects people more accomodation and understanding would be expected for it and we#simply can't have that now can we (i think. if i am not entirely in left field on this. this is true of a lot of common chronic conditions#but i obviously can't speak to any others#i just feel like we downplay literally so many chronic health issues that the negative impacts on daily life get kinda neutralized#because whenever i actually walk through the fact that i have to think so hard about food all the time i realize oh. well. how exhausting#it is and how much more prone to disordered eating i have been since diagnosis because of it#anyway just currently in a state of being really fucking done with talking about my diabetes and having my reflex response anytime i say#anything about it to be 'oh it's not that bad!! i have my sugar under control!' like i am a bad person if it's not under control for#something i was quite literally born with and tends to be unpredictable and my doctor literally knows so little about in actuality because#again. highly understudied. : ))))))))#idk what this was i'm just feeling grrrr about being diabetic for specific reasons right now#personal
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So, I decided I wanted to check out this modpack that had looked interesting, so I go and download the curseforge app (cause modpacks are kind of a pain to launch without a launcher... as in I'm not sure how you even do it)
Dear god, which a fucking monster. They've got fucking ads running all over the fucking place
Instadeleted it, you do no get to serve me ads under any circumstances, if you do fuck you, I'm not using you. You're not a website, you're an app, and if you're pounding me with ads regardless of what I'm doing, then I don't think you're secure (and even if you are fuck you)
So I've had to track down an alternative one called uh... GDLauncher. Can't say for sure, but so far seems much much better... seems like an opensource launcher that's just a launcher and that's it
Not that any of you play modpacks so not that this matters, but that curseforge shit was just so bad I had to complain
#also I'm having opinions at this point about having to sign in to a 3rd party launcher in order to run minecraft with it#it's striking me just how much minecraft is kind of... the ultimate drm game and we've just kind of put up with it cause it's good#you know how I got into minecraft?#piracy; pirated a copy of it right when the nether had first been released and decided it was worth being able to play with other people#do no like the fact that you can't do single player minecraft without signing in#in it's defense; you can do offline stuff so long as you're signed in#but uh... part of me wants to pirate shit just from a moral standpoint with it; literally only not doing it cause it's easier tojust sign i#rather than figuring out how to make it work#and also once again; I get it; the launcher is free and anyone can get it; so in order to gate access and make sure they're paid#they need a different gate#but uh... yeah... I guess this is my real point#I don't actually own minecraft#I own all my world files; I have direct access to them#but I don't own a copy of minecraft#and say what you want about pirated stuff; but you do own it#because all the files are contained on my computer; in digital terms that's ownership#true digital ownership is when it runs in a black box setting; no input; no output; just what's on the machine it's on#and when you can put in a hard drive; copy it; and plug that hardrive into something else to have a full copy of it#so minecraft is pissing me off a little cause I don't own it and that always annoys me with anything digital#big believer in digital ownership
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I have a hard time talking about American law enforcement, because I have ptsd (like a therapist told me this and everything) from my own experiences with cops and because it's so balls quaking insane.
Like, a cop in the United States can pull you over for any reason. Which is a nice way of saying no reason, because literally anything can be used after the fact as justification. A cop can say its cuz you looked at him, or didnt look at him, or it looked like you were holding something, or looked like you were driving too perfectly for it to be natural. It's insane.
There are apparently no circumstances where a cop can't just kill you. The line the courts have applied is "reasonably believed" you were a threat, but that's such a nebulous nothing limit that people get shot for reaching for their license, having their phone in their hand, you're running away with no weapon, not being able to follow conflicting commands, like anything. And cops are almost never charged, because every court is going to believe he could "reasonably believe" he was threatened. Fuck, if you give me enough time, I can make any situation seem juuuuust plausibly threatening enough to pass that bar. It's insane.
A cop can just rob you. Like tell you to give him your wallet, take all the cash out, and just walk away with it. Exactly like you would imagine getting robbed in an alley would go, except no one can help. And he doesn't even have to hide it, he just drops it in a box at the station and they put it in their bank account. It's legal. You can't prove it wasn't drug money. I can't prove any money wasn't at some point drug money. It's insane.
If a cop just walks in your front door and says "I'm here to kill you and your entire family" YOU ARE GOING TO PRISON IF YOU STOP HIM. There is no positive defense for assaulting a police officer in the United States, and doubly so if you kill him. You have effectively no defense against a homicidal cop, which happens same as any other job. Unless for some reason you have cameras all thru your house and clearly caught the audio of him saying that he's there just to kill you, you have zero chance of not going to prison, probably for life. And that's assuming you aren't killed "resisting arrest" while being taken into custody. It is a crime, in this country, for you to defend yourself under any circumstances if the person you're defending yourself from is a cop. That's insane.
You don't have civil rights if a cop says so. You have the right to have a gun, right? A lot of states have open carry. A cop can shoot you if he sees you have a gun. Doesn't matter if you have a license and everything. So you effectively don't have the right to bear arms if a cop can shoot you for exercising it. You have the right to protest. Unless a cop tells you to stop. He doesn't need a real reason to tell you to stop. And if you don't stop, you can be arrested or shot. So you don't really have the right to protest, do you? A cop cant just search your car or house, right? Unless he claims he heard something, or smelled something, neither of which can be proven. So a cop can search whatever he wants, as long as he pretends there was a "reason". So you dont have protection from unreasonable search and seizure, do you? These are no longer rights- they're things the cops allow.. for now. But legally, those rights have already been found to not actually be rights, because any random cop can decide to take that right from you, for any reason. It's insane.
These aren't like crazy things that I'm just making up, these aren't some weird twisted way I'm looking at something, these are all very real things that we all just.. ignore? Police abolitionists and the media bring these things up all the time, and the overwhelming response to it is: so what? Don't break the law and it won't matter. Blue lives matter. More police funding. Cops should have tanks. It's insane. And I always feel like im just rambling and sound insane when I say this kind of stuff because if you wrote a book and had the dystopian government doing the stuff that the police in this country do every single day, those same people who "back the blue" would line up to say stuff like "*Books government* wouldnt have a chance before us real americans stopped them" on twitter and not even get a hint of the irony.
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f!reader | thinkin abt this hc, but katsuki is roommates with denki. katsuki is pretty sure he’s heard denki’s girl cum more and harder than any girl he’s ever been with in his life. he’d never want to say it, but he’s questioning his sexual abilities with every passing orgasm, and he audibly witnesses a lot of them. sure, you always cum when he’s intimate with you - at least twice every time, he makes sure of it. but he’s never turned you into a complete mess like denki’s girl is every time they fuck or whatever it is they do.
so one day, katsuki finally bucks up the courage to say something to his best friend and admits he might want to do better with you in bed. denki is a little surprised and embarrassed; he never expected katsuki to be the one asking him for sex advice. he’d just taken the time to figure out what works for him and assumed that if anything, the roles might be reversed.
they talk, denki shares a little bit of what he does and eventually asks katsuki, “dude, when was the last time you slowed down and took your time?”
denki realizes the answer is probably never when katsuki spits back a defensive, “whadda ya mean?”
so he explains in more detail. katsuki takes mental notes.
･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆･˳ . ⋆ .˳⁺⁎˚ ⋆
the next time katsuki’s got you in his bed, something is different. he’s a little too soft and a little too slow for your preference as he goes in for a kiss, so you pull him deeper. but he’s still got a measured pace, the way his hands are firm and trace your body like he means it. with him, sex is overwhelming and all consuming. it’s hard and fast and raw. but not today.
there’s a hint of impatience in his movements, but he stops himself; he spends extra time caressing your face, in the crook of your neck, mapping out every little spot that makes your breath catch just a hair or your fingers curl a little tighter and committing it better to memory. then his tongue is in your mouth, and he’s groping you over your clothes. a small whimper leaves your lips as you try to shift and get your legs around his waist, but he doesn’t let you.
realization hits when katsuki stops to look you in the eye. your cheeks are flushed hard, and it’s almost difficult to look back with how much heat is radiating between your legs. usually by now he’s got you half naked and grinding, or his hand is deep in your cunt. a twinkle lights his eyes, a boyish grin on his face. you pull him into you, pushing your face into his neck with a shyness you hadn’t felt with him in a long time.
“what?”
you shake your head and kiss his neck, taking in the warmth of his skin and the way he sighs into your touch.
“need somethin?” he teases. his hand runs down your torso to grip your hip. the same hand slides under the fabric of your shirt to caress your side.
“no,” you reply quietly. “you’re usually a bit more… fast paced. that’s all.”
his lips are grazing your neck, his tone low and playful. “yeah. i’m tryin somethin new. got a problem with it?”
he’s kissing you neck again before you can respond, sucking and licking faint marks into a tender spot on your skin.
your breath catches. “n-no, not at all.”
“good.” katsuki puts his muscular thigh between your own and presses it to the damp heat of your cotton shorts.
a small whimper escapes your throat.
“now be a good girl n' grind on me, princess.”
if you’d like to be added to my tag list, let me know. ♡
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#this is one of those times where i’m a teeny bit glad i’m more of a denki girl than i thought 🙊#this has been in my drafts for like a month and a half and i think this is as far as it's gonna get so mwah here u go enjoy ur meal#may or may not be digging up som yan dad bf erasermic next#bnha#mha#x reader#bnha smut#mha smut#bakugou katsuki#aged up characters#bakubunny#f!reader#bakugo katuski#bakugo smut#bakugou smut#bakugou x reader#boku no hero academia#my hero academia
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