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kooktrash · 1 year

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his special secret | kim taehyung

summary: you’re an art student who has recently broken up with your cheating ex boyfriend. he’s your art professor recovering from a divorce just a year ago. what happens when your relationship goes beyond that of a professor and his college student?

➢ genre/au: college art professor!tae x art student!y/n [she/her… afab] [age gap 9 years]

➢ 12.5k words

warnings: smüt. secret relationship. tae is 30, y/n is 21. car sëx. oral [f&m]. make out. groping. tae is divorced. both got cheated on in past. jealous tae. dirty talk. makeout in art closet. y/n is confident but going thru it. professor x student. no protection. y/n is on top.

[REUPLOAD] HIS SPECIAL SECRET 2

You know when you're really mad to the point that you wanna cry? Not because you're sad but because you're so mad and you can't even act on that anger, especially not right now, you couldn't even show that you're upset because you're in class. Obviously it started off with your stupid ass ex-boyfriend's tenth apology text where it was mostly just him trying to gaslight you. Then it was because of missing the bus to campus which made you have to get a taxi and spend way more money than necessary, but get this, you spent like 20$ so you wouldn't miss your first class and yet it was canceled. Canceled! After spending that money to make it for that specific lecture you walk over to the room only to find a big fat 'canceled' sign on the door. Plus, you had enough time to catch the next bus if the professor only posted or emailed everyone saying it was cancelled, hell you could’ve even slept longer.

Your phone is still being blown up and you just can’t focus on your painting today. You can’t mix the right shade and it is beginning to drive you crazy. Your palette is getting too full and your water is so dirty that it isn’t even cleaning the brush anymore. You had already been trying to keep your cool this entire time but now you can’t take it anymore. You were so upset with the trillion texts you were being sent and with your painting not going the way you wanted it too, oh and missing the bus and class being canceled, you were very clearly overstimulated and overwhelmed. You felt like there is nothing you can do but just give up for the day.

You stood abruptly taking your brushes and palette to the sink in the back of the room. You dried and packed them all up not caring to say anything to anyone else as you picked up your bags and canvas. You put your things away and left, not turning back to professor who looked up from helping another person to watch you leave so suddenly. You finally got your phone out and dialed one of your friend's number hearing it ring twice before they picked.

"What do you want? I'm trying to take a nude here?"

"Can you pick me up? I'm done with classes," you asked him. You weren't even that far from the classroom but you were done. You had been working on the same part for over twenty minutes and it was not getting any better so you just had to go.

"You're lucky I was gonna go get Bora too, I'll be there in fifteen," Jungkook said finishing up his last shirtless picture before going for you two.

"Will that be all for today?" A voice spoke up behind you as your call came to an end. You jumped looking back and following the voice's direction and froze at the sight of your professor.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just—I can't focus today," you sighed rambling out a shitty excuse. He huffed crossing his arms over his chest. You swear your professor came from a world where only the most attractive people are born. It wasn't even you being dramatic, it's just the facts. He had dark hair always styled neatly, his face was angular yet soft and his dark brows made his expressions more attractive. His voice was always so low that it was quite literally mouth watering and he loved wearing long sleeve button ups where he could just roll his sleeves up if he got too hot. You looked at his face, snapping yourself out of your thoughts at his expression.

He looked annoyed, but he kept himself neutral as he spoke, "The exhibition is next month. You only have a few weeks to finish the piece before the submission deadline. Don't you think you should try to focus on your painting?"

"I did try Professor Kim, I've just been—there's just a lot going on and—" you stopped suddenly staring at his left hand, a silver band no longer there. You stuttered a little to start again, "I apologize."

"Mhm," he muttered looking away from you to the others inside the art studio focused on their work, "Just go on, make sure the next time you step into the studio you're more focused."

Dick. "Of course sir," you said turning your back to leave finally. You got to the campus entrance just in time meeting Bora along the way and the two of you got into Jungkook's car. He was shirtless as he drove.

"What's up with you?" You asked buckling yourself in as you got in the passenger's seat. He was on his phone looking up at you through sunglasses that made you laugh, "You look like such a douche."

"Shut up I told you I was taking nudes," he said as he drove away, "Plus I'm hungover and the sun's way too bright but I wanna know what took you two so damn long."

"Oh my god I left my laptop in the journalism room so I had to go all the way to get it and you know I hate walking too much," Bora said from the back seat. You sighed, "Mr. Kim caught me outside and he kind of lectured me but it's whatever. You won't believe what I noticed today—"

"What?" The two said in harmony ready for any sort of gossip. You looked genuinely surprised, "He doesn't have a wedding ring anymore." They leaned back in disappointment.

"Yeah we know," Bora said sarcastically, "Everyone's been talking about it since last semester. The word is he must've gotten divorced over the summer."

"Wait so it's almost been a year? How did I not know? He's so young," you said with furrowed brows trying to understand what you were being told. Jungkook sighed dramatically, "Because you had a boyfriend and you're not into older men."

"He's like 30, that's not old, first of all," Bora cut in, "And Y/n has daddy or mommy issues, so she's probably into older men."

"How did this get turned on me?" You asked looking between the two before settling your eyes on Bora, "He really got divorced? I thought he'd been with her since he was 20."

“Yeah, apparently word on campus is that he caught her with her coworker," Bora told you, "Minho from the Tech department heard it in the staff room. Apparently he was asked to help with some computer problem and two teachers were talking about it. He told his girlfriend and she's told basically everyone."

"Why do so many care?" Jungkook asked pulling up to your apartment. Bora gasped, "Why? Because he is literally the world's most attractive man? He's like a God. I promise you everyone has a crush on him and that's why so many of the beginner art class was filled. Everyone wanted to have him as a teacher even if they weren't art majors."

"Is that why you signed up for an art theory class this semester?" You asked turning to her. She nodded with a pout, "Yeah but it was already filled. You're so lucky he's head of the department and you're in your third year. You get to work with him more since his focus is on proficient students.”

"He's super strict though," you told her with a defeated sigh, "But I guess he's honest. You have to be ready to face critique and he's helpful. He just makes you feel like shit when you're not focused."

"I bet he's an ass because he's probably not getting laid," Jungkook laughed, "Divorce does that to people. Turns them bitter."

"Are you kidding? Look at him, women must be all over him, hell half of us on campus would gladly have him," Bora swooned. You looked down at your phone, yet another text message from your shitty ex-boyfriend.

"Y/n you should sleep with him," Bora joked, "Since you're both newly single and you'll be a good shoulder for him to cry on."

"Thanks but I like guys my own age and I’m pretty sure being his student already complicates things enough," you said absentmindedly before reading over the newest text. It's been at least two weeks and he still hasn't quit trying to gaslight you. It was ridiculous and so damn tiring. Your professor was right, you had to focus on art and this was only a distraction. You'll have to stay over time tomorrow because he hasn't left you alone today.

namjoon: I srsly don't get y you're still ignoring me

namjoon: you kno I'd never do something to hurt u

One of the best parts about being an art student who has finished their prerequisites is that now you can really just focus on your work. So you'd basically go to one or two art classes and then you would go and work on your art. Bora was right when she said he was your mentor and it was in fact pretty exclusive.

You sold a painting last year in the Spring Art Exhibit for the university and Professor Kim became a lot more helpful. Despite his young age he had great connections in the art world from financers to auctioneers and museums. He helped proficient students participate in more exhibits and some art auctions where they could be noticed for their work and now you're one of them. Obviously he could be strict but it's because he saw potential in you and you definitely did not want to disappoint him. That's why you've spent majority of your day here well into the evening. You did have to work later but it would be open for at least another hour and that's enough time to adjust some color blocking. The sunset was long gone and you’ve barely been twenty minutes into your groove when someone else entered the studio.

You lowered the music coming from your speaker immediately at the sight of your teacher. He looked at you for a moment before continuing his walk to his desk. You tried going back to your work but now all you could think about is how dumb you were for not noticing he was divorced even if it didn’t matter to you at all. He was fishing some black portfolio out of a drawer as he spoke, "A custodian should be by soon to mop the floors and lock the room. You'll probably want to leave soon."

"Yes, I’ll start cleaning up now," you sighed as you looked at the very little work you got done. You could obviously try and work on it at home but that was too distracting. Your apartment was small and filled with distractions and there wasn't enough room for your things. It was a three canvas piece and with the easel and all your paints, brushes, palettes, and sketches spread out on the floor there's no room. At least here you had places to lock it up in. It got awkward again as you cleaned up your space and he did something at his desk. So, awkwardly, you tried to fill the silence, "Any plans this weekend, sir?"

"Nothing too interesting," he said seriously as he shuffled through some documents to find something, "Probably nothing like what all of you get up to on the weekend."

You assumed he was talking about college students. You went to one of those Universities that was extremely popular for producing majority of the well-paid lawyers, athletes, engineers, actors, musicians and artists. The student succession rate was high and yet every weekend every college student was out there getting completely shitfaced because of stress. You shrugged, "Well mine’s not interesting either, I have to work all weekend."

You doubt he cares at all but you said it anyway. Mr. Kim left shortly after with a quick goodbye and you rushed to catch the bus.

Taehyung's weekend didn't completely start till Saturday night. His Friday night was filled with directing a new upcoming event happening. The exhibit is in a month and Taehyung's been stuck calling buyers and businesses for confirmation in their attendances. It was really a large charity event where large corporations get publicity and popularity from but a lot of the students who have managed to put their name out there are pretty well known in the art world. Many have gone on to create their exhibitions and events for their art and have had large commissions. The school did a really good job at providing their students with advantages in their careers and Taehyung was pretty proud to be helping his art major students. Of course it was stressing but it was an honor at his age. Obviously it helped that his parents were well known art curators and have worked with foreign and home artists for years. The only thing that was hard is how much work it really was and with the shitty year he's had he needs a break.

"It's been a year Taehyung, nobody's telling you to find another wife," his best friend Jimin said as him and his two friends sat at the counter of some lounge bar. "We're just saying you should at least have post-divorce sex with some random chick and let off some steam. It's a Saturday night, I say we hit up some night club after this."

"No thanks, I'm not in the mood to be shoved around by drunk college kids," Yoongi cut in as he read over the drink menu as the bartender showed up. He gave his drink order first putting the attention on Taehying and Jimin making him look up. His mouth opened slightly in surprise at the sight before him.

You managed to hide your surprise at actually seeing your teacher outside of campus but you were working and he was with friends. He was the one to stumble over his words when he gave you his drink order. Jimin smirked evilly when you turned to make the drinks at the way Taehyung was acting. You wore a black skirt and fitted black top with your hair and make up done.

"Well well well," Jimin whispered to the other two, "I guess I don't need to force you on blind dates. You can chat up the bartender."

"It was pretty awkward hearing you try and talk to her," Yoongi added in making Taehyung shake his head in disagreement. Still, he continued, "No, I—she’s my—she’s too young.”

"Taehyung, look at your gorgeous face, I doubt it matters, plus you’re a college professor! You’ve got a PhD, you’re well off, you’re artistic! It's no wonder everyone throws themselves at you, so go at it," Jimin said making Taehyung laugh, "Do you have a crush on me Chimmy?"

"Of course, I'm one of those college girls of yours who join your lectures just to for you to notice them," Jimin joked shaking his head, "And yet Jihyun is the one who cheated and not you."

"Way to bring that up," Yoongi hit him letting them conversation drop as you came back with the drinks taking their money, Taehyung looked after you. Did you work every weekend? He didn't expect you to be the type to work here. He doesn't usually pay attention to his students aside from during his teachings but you were obviously a different story along with all of his advanced students. He was your mentor and you spent a lot of time in the art studio. You mostly kept to yourself and did your work. He usually saw you stressed out but the other day was the first time in two years that you just walked out of his class. It was hard juggling the art piece from the Spring Art Exhibit and the final for their realism class but that's life and you leaving was so out of character to him.

It was still weird to see you give up that day. He obviously didn't know how you acted outside of the art department but he really was surprised especially considering the way you were dressed. He also didn't know you were the type to be friends with muscular men covered in tattoos and piercings.

"Holy shit that really is your professor," Jungkook whispered to you as he wiped the inside of some shot glasses. You and him stood at the other end of the bar gossiping. Jungkook smirked, "This is a sign, you should sleep with him."

"Do you ever think about something other than sex?" "Not really."

“Alright well focus on your own sex life and not mine. I just dumped Namjoon like three weeks ago," you complained, "Plus I'm pretty sure there's a rule against student and staff relations."

"Alright but you're 21 and he's like 30 so legally..." Jungkook trailed off giving you enough time to cut in. You sighed, "Just stop."

After some time you did circle back to the group of men and took more drink orders. While you were there one of them excused themselves to the restroom and the other got a call. In the end, Taehyung was the only one left. You found yourself stalling as you wiped your side of the lowered counter in front of him.

"I'm off," Jungkook came by patting your shoulder, "Want me to wait for you?" You shook your head at him, "No, I have to close remember?"

"Alright well call me if you change your mind," then he reached out and flicked your forehead, "See ya, Ugly."

You rolled your eyes swatting his hand away as your cheeks reddened in embarrassment. He's such an asshole. Taehyung didn't say anything for a second and then said, "So this is where you go after the studio?"

"On the weekends yeah," you said biting your lip nervously, "Also sorry if I seemed disrespectful but you're out with your friends and I didn't want to interrupt."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not offended I was just surprised. You're the first student I've seen outside of school-related events," he confessed with a small smile. From what he saw of you with that guy you definitely seemed outgoing. You seemed playful and maybe a little sarcastic but when he sees you in the studio you’re serious. When you talk to him it seems like you're always on edge and he still wanted to know what made you walk out the other day. Sensing another wave of awkwardness coming between you two you took a glass in your hand, "How about a drink? On the house."

"That's alright, I can pay—" "Sir, it's just one drink it'll be fine," you waved him off already mixing it before handing it to him, "You seem stressed."

Your fingertips touched his on accident as he took the drink. Your eyes locked once more before you were backing away to help some people on the other end. Taehyung has never looked at any of his students sexually but obviously he'd never been blind to the attractive ones. He'd been married for five years and he was loyal unlike his ex wife. Plus, he knew the position he was in and what it'd do to his career if he ever got involved with a student so the thought never came to mind. Right now though, he's having a hard time seeing you as a student and not just someone from the bar. Thankfully, his friends returned to him just as you caught him staring again.

Bora would be losing her shit over your small interaction with your professor. He was so unbelievably attractive and to see him in a setting like this made you want to do very bad things with him. Maybe their jokes about using your Professor for rebound sex was getting to your head. Obviously your friends never meant anything serious by that but wow did that seem do-able right now, especially considering the fact that he keeps staring at you.

"Come on Taehyung, let's go clubbing, I haven't gone in a while," Jimin begged him turning to Yoongi, "You too, let's go."

"Nah man, I'm not cut out for that anymore. I’m older than the two of you," Yoongi reminded making Jimin roll his eyes. He pulled on Taehyung's arm, "Let's go get you laid."

"Shut up, I'm not going, why don't you go? You don't need us," Taehyung told him. Jimin huffed gathering his things, "Fine. I will."

They waved him off watching him leave until it was just the other two. Yoongi sighed, "I should probably head home before Jieun comes to get me herself. It was nice drinking with you though, call me if you need anything."

Taehyung knows that he should just head out too. His two friends just left and he's got no reason to still be at the bar but he waited for you to come back and clean up their glasses.

"Your friends left already?" You asked him wiping at the counter.

"Uh yeah, I think I need to sober up before I head out though," he cleared his throat nervously, "Can I get a water?"

"Of course," you left for a second to fill it before coming back. You set the glass down in front of him stalling a little before asking, "I don't know if this is inappropriate or anything but are you alright sir? I, uh, I actually just realized you're not wearing your ring anymore."

His breath hitched for a second. He'll be a year since his divorce in two months and you've just now noticed? Well he doesn't expect his students to notice a small detail but still felt weird to hear it. He nodded in acknowledgment to your question, "It's alright, but yes, I'm not wearing my ring anymore. I had a divorce last summer."

"Wow," you said absentmindedly, "Well I hope you're doing well. I know this isn't all that similar but I actually just recently ended a relationship too."

"Oh?" Taehyung questioned with peaked interest. The nagging part in his brain was telling him to go before he got too curious about his student's personal life, "Is everything alright with you then?"

"Yeah it's fine," you shrugged leaving for a second to help someone else. Taehyung still waited even if he knew it was his chance to return to his empty home. When you came back he rushed to question you, "So, what made the two of you end it? Was he someone you were with since high school?"

"God no, we'd only been dating a few months but he still cheated," you blurted out, the topic still annoying you, "I mean, you know, some people just aren't worth it."

"He cheated on you?" Taehyung asked looking you up and down without much thought. He might be crossing the line with the next thing he says. You nodded no longer caring about keeping this to yourself, "With one of my closest friends actually. Safe to say I don't talk to either of them anymore."

"You're beautiful."

You froze. His words were mumbled behind his hand as he looked away from you, "I mean... you seem like a great person and I don't see why anyone would ever choose someone else over you." You didn't say anything for a moment before nodding your head, "Well I could say the same for you Mr. Kim."

Ah, so even if you just found out he was divorced clearly you’ve heard the rumors. It was embarrassing that his students and others knew what happened. The conversation changed after that. He asked about your progress and you went into detail about your work. He nodded listening, "Well maybe I could offer some guidance after class."

"I'd really appreciate that, and once again I'm sorry for walking out of class the other day," you bit your lip nervously and it had Taehyung doing the same. Stop, Y/n's your student and is at least nine years younger than you, he told himself.

His breath hitched as he tried to push his thoughts away before something bad happened. The two of you talked for another hour or two, before you knew it the bar was supposed to close soon as it was past midnight. Taehyung noticed the a sense of all other customers with a sense of dread, he'd have to leave now. He actually enjoyed talking to you, he's never connected with his students but you were easy to talk to. Obviously that was already inappropriate and he should just forget all of this but it was hard. He liked having someone to listen even if it weren't his close friends. He sighed as he stood, "So, you're closing soon?"

He was setting some cash down on the counter, a good tip that you tried to refuse. You nodded, "Yeah, I've gotta do some cleaning up unfortunately."

"How do you get home? You ride the bus?" He asked playing with his keys. You pushed some hair behind your ears, "No actually I'll probably have to call a cab since it's so late."

"Nonsense, if you're up for it I can give you a lift," Taehyung offered up before he could even process what he was saying, "I mean, I don't know how comfortable I'd feel letting you get in a stranger's car this late at night when I can wait for you. Unless you think that's inappropriate." It was.

You nodded, "I mean, if you don't mind waiting..." "I don't," Taehyung rushed to say, "I'll bring my car around to the front and wait for you alright? It gives me a chance to sober up some more anyway. You've got my number right?"

You did since he was your mentor. A lot of you students who were in advanced classes had his number since you all had a group chat. Taehyung would be lying if he said he hasn't had female students in the past be a little too suggestive in his messages but he always shut it down right away. The only reason he wanted to take you home tonight is because he actually enjoyed talking with you. He hadn't spoken with a woman this much in a long time unless it was school or work related. He's shot down every one of Jimin's offers to set him up with someone and when they'd go out drinking Taehyung was never interested in hooking up with strangers.

When you got in his car he passed you his jacket to drape over your legs and you thanked him, "Thank you so much, cabs are so expensive."

"Yeah, I bet they are, just tell me when to turn, alright?" Taehyung said as he pulled onto the street heading down the direction you pointed to. Your phone sat on your lap ringing and you didn't hang up or answered. If you hung up he'd just keep calling and calling.

He looked down at your phone before shifting his eyes back on the road, hand adjusting his grip on the steering wheel, "Do you need to answer that?"

"Huh? No it's just my ex," you told him honestly staring out the window, "He's still bothering me all the time."

"Mm," he hummed in acknowledgement as you pointed at what street to turn down, "He's still trying even after sleeping with your former friend?"

"Yeah, he thinks apologizing over and over again is gonna change my mind," you said with a shrug, "But that's done with thankfully. Don't you feel that way? Happy it's over?"

He waited a moment trying to think it over. Is this conversation with you wrong? Well in reality, getting you in his car this late at night is wrong. Thinking about how your perfume filled his car with a soft floral scent. Plus you were pretty, he'd thought that the other day too when he caught you in the studio so late. Your hair had been pinned back and your smock was covered in paint along with your hands. He had found himself stalling his mission that night before rushing home once he realized it.

"Um, I am happy it's over but it was also a ten year relationship that she threw away for one night," Taehyung said to you, "I'm happy it's over but it still upsets me. Sorry, maybe we shouldn't be talking about this?"

"Of course I'm so sorry Mr. Kim," you said turning away from him, "Um it's just up the street. The building with a gate."

He nodded driving forward. He was about to know where one of his student's lives. But why didn't he want to drop you off now? When he pulled up to the side of the building still a little hidden under the night sky he turned to you. Should he walk you up to make sure you get u wide safely or would that be taking it too far?

Maybe you were crazy or maybe your friends really got to your head because you did not want to leave. Obviously before you thought he was just your hot, married professor but now? After spending over an hour just talking to him and then him dropping you off home was messing with your head. Plus, you went through very similar experiences and he had to be at least a little into you to go out of his way to wait for you to take you home. Obviously it was wrong since he was your professor but in reality the age part didn't matter. Sure, you've always said you like guys your age but just look at Kim Taehyung.

So yeah, you were taking your sweet time unbuckling yourself and giving him his jacket back. He didn't say anything watching you sit up trying to get your things and for some reason he really did not want you to go. What he hadn't expected was the look in your eyes when you caught him staring again. This was wrong. He had to stop looking at you like that. He was nine years older than you and your college professor.

But then, you surprised him when you reached over the middle console. He didn't even have to think about what was going on when his hand was on your jaw pulling you closer until your lips met. He released a soft groan into your mouth letting his tongue lick along your lower lip until you gave him room to explore your mouth.

You were so eager, a hand on his thigh to keep yourself up as he tongue kissed you. He should not be doing this, he knows he shouldn't but it's been so long since he's had anyone's hands on him but his own. He did not sleep around and he was acting out of character with you but in this moment he just needed to have you. The nagging feeling was still in the back of his head though.

You trailed wet kisses down his jaw, kissing along his neck arching your back into him. He couldn't stop the slide of his hand over the back of your skirt, groping a little at your butt as he reached over to touch you too. Even then he just had to speak, "This is wro—ng, you're my student."

You're not completely sure what came over you in the car but at the moment you did not care. Your hand slid closer to his inner thighs making his muscles tense. You were getting a little too close to his groin now as you kissed him shutting him up. He kissed back hungrily despite his words and then your hand was running over his middle. You sighed into his lips, "Nobody has to know, just tonight."

Taehyung didn't put up much of a fight after that. He let you unzip his jeans and button. His hand was at your throat pulling you into him while his other hand trailed down your back. Your short skirt was a little too tempting to reach out and touch. He licked his lips when you kissed down the middle of his collarbone where the top buttons of his shirt were undone. With the first grade of your hand palming at his growing erection he groped at your butt in the skirt. He nodded with a lick of his lips, "Just tonight."

He couldn't stop the deep moan that he released when your hand dipped into his briefs. He was sporting a semi but with the first touch of your hand on his hardening cock. You still hadn't even looked down to notice he was thick and long. He felt heavy in your hand as you palmed over him, too dry to feel good so you brought your hand up. You held it to his chin and with his eyes locked on yours he spit into it watching you do the same before bringing it back down to his member. He jumped at the first feel of the slick grip you had on him now creating a wet slide around him. He was panting, it'd been way too long since the last time someone else touched him.

Also, it helped that it was past midnight and how far was well tinted so you couldn't see anything from the outside. The car wasn't even on anymore. His hips met your hand's efforts to jerk him off, moaning into your mouth as he grabbed a handful of ass. After some time you pulled away from him making sure to pull on his lips as you backed off watching him try and chase after you. He watched through lust filled eyes as you shunned further toward your door backing your butt up so you could lean over the middle console until you were face to face with his slick cock. He bit his lip in anticipation, no longer thinking about how wrong this was the second your tongue licked up a fat stripe up the length of his member.

"Is this alright, sir?" You asked holding his cock in a loose fist while you left soft kisses on his mushroom tip. Your tongue poked at the vein on his underside, rounded innocent eyes staring at him that he knew were anything but innocent. He'd never been with anyone this young, he'd never even thought about this before he'd been married for five years and dating for another four or five. She'd been the last women he was ever with and his relationships prior to her hadn't meant anything. Yet, here he was enjoying the warm tight feel of your mouth on him that had him forgetting everything wrong with this.

He licked his lips, "Y-Yes, but call me Taehyung." He liked hearing you call him sir too damn much but considering all his students call him that he couldn't think about it right now.

"Alright Taehyung," you leaned up to peck his lips in a quick kiss that had him craving more. Then you flashed him a mischievous smile before coming back down to his member, "I'm gonna suck your dick now."

Taehyung shudders out another velvety groan as your lips finally wrapped around his whole tip. Hips rise off the leather seat to meet your mouth hoping to get himself deeper. Wet warmth around his length and he's gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles whiten. You're far from gentle. The flick of your tongue over a thick vein before lapping at the slit on his head with every bob. The gentle suck of the tip. You've never found so much pleasure from sucking a man's cock before, but then came your hot Professor. Nine years older than you, too young to be divorced, and the man he taught you about art all week. None of that matters though when it comes to the deep growls and husky moans he releases as a hand plays with the end of your panties. A thing paid of things he had to pull out your underwear, fingers running over your covered slit.

Taehyung had decided the moment you reached into his jeans that he wanted to fuck his student. He wanted to let out all his pent up sexual frustration on his pretty little student who was just so eager to take his cock in their mouth. Who would've known he would've broken his head long dry spell for some college pussy. He brought his hand back from your underwear sticking his fingers into his mouth to lather them in spit.

He groaned when he hit the back of your throat relishing in the tightness of your mouth as he slid his hand to your head again, pulling the poor excuse for underwear to let his finger run down your slit toward your clit. You were so fucking wet, stupid wet actually and it only turned him on more.

His finger brushed roughly against your skin, a moan escaping your throat that sent vibrations around his dick. Taehyung toyed with your clit feeling more slick being produced by his touch. It was so fucking hot. The sec with his wife had gotten boring and repetitive over the years but this felt new and exciting. You were attractive to him from your looks to your art work and it was all hitting him at once.

"That's it sweetheart, take it all in your mouth," Taehyung panted stopping his motions, but pressing down against your clit. Your head began to bob harshly now, sucking him into your mouth while your hand stroked whatever didn't felt. He was feeling close but with how tight you felt, he needed to stretch you.

Taehyung hummed, rubbing circles around your cunt, his thumb gently massaging your clit. "Am I making you this wet baby? Should I punish you for it?"

You moaned and whined as Taehyung's fingers slammed into you, while rubbing your clit. You caught him by surprise when you bounced your hips forcing his finger in and out of your cunt at a speed you wanted and it made him groan deep in his chest.

He didn't stop fucking your throat as you fucked yourself on his finger giving him time to push another in too. He wished he could see this from an outside point of you. This thirty year old man getting his dick milked dry by a hot twenty one year old art student of his while he stuck his fingers into their tight pussy. He was so close, honestly surprised he'd been holding off this long. When his fingers began to feel your walls relax around him he knew you were ready for him now.

"Think you can ride my cock sweetheart?" He asked brushing your hair out of your face as you slobbered all over his member. You didn't need to be asked twice as you popped off him feelings his fingers toy with your folds but no longer fingering you. He pushed his seat back to give you more room before reclining his seat back. He guided you over his lap watching as you didn't waste a second in lining himself up with your wet pussy.

"I'm on the pill sir," you said calling him that name again that had his cock twitching. He nodded pulling you in for another kiss as his hands found your waist sinking you down his length. You moaned into each other's mouths. You slowly raised your hips and sunk back down on him, and he tightened his grip on your throat just slightly pulling you away from the kiss. Your face pressed against each others in breathy moans of want as he began to bounce you on his cock while bucking his hips.

It had been awhile for the both of you, though he knows you probably hadn't waited as long as him. He'd been dry since his divorce while you just broke up with tour boyfriend weeks ago. He had a feeling you were always eager like this for sex, and you clearly knew what you were doing with your mouth too and it was just so hot. He was kneading your ass as your head rested on the crook of his neck. He was so close but he was trying to hold off for you. He resort to talking, "This is wrong, y'know?"

Even then he said it with a buck of his hips loving the way your plump wet walls felt around him, "Only bad girls jump on their teacher's cocks."

"Mm," you whined teasingly as you sucked love bites into his collarbone, "You gonna punish me sir?"

"Oh fuck," he moaned when your walls clenched around him intentionally, "Call me Taehyung, love."

"Taehyung," you moaned into his mouth moving onto a quick grind of your heads into each other, "I'm gonna cu—"

"Do it, do it now, fuck Y/n," he held you tighter getting a little rougher now as he reached up for the handlebar on the roof of the car and used it for leverage as he forced his hips off the seat to push more into you. With the new force you weren't lasting long, your release hit you like a tsunami making you shake around him as he held your chest against his. He didn't stop thrusting though, trying to get himself as close to orgasm before he had to pull out of your tight walls as they twitched around him.

You let him raise you off his cock as you sat back down in your seat adjusting your underwear that had been pulled to the side this entire time. You reached across him with a hand jerking him off using your own release as lube and he was fucking into your hand forcing your mouth back on his. With a low grunt and a shake of his hands, he was cumming. Thick drops of creamy cum fell around your hand like a flood. You didn't think much about it as you pulled away from his lips to cover his cock in your mouth licking him clean as best as you could.

After some time you moved off him awkwardly pulling your hair out of your face as you cleared your throat. He tucked himself back in nervously as he adjusted his seat back up looking at his disheveled reflection. He couldn't even look at you, not because he didn't want to stare at your beauty but because it really was wrong. He was your college professor for fuck's same. It didn't matter his strong attraction toward you. What mattered is that he was in a place of authority and could easily lose his job and probably ruin your reputation. He couldn't do that to you but he really wanted you.

"I should probably head inside now," you said shyly as you grabbed your bag opening the door. Taehyung didn't say anything nodding his head watching you leave. He hated the fact that he looked at the length of your legs as you left. It wasn't right.

By Monday morning Taehyung wasn't sure what to think anymore. After the crazy night with you on Saturday it was all he could think about on Sunday. He met up with his friends for brunch and he couldn't help but rant. It didn't do him any favors that they knew something was wrong with him since the beginning. He ended up being honest and telling them that the bartender was his student and that they hooked up in his car.

At first they had been extremely confused by it all but Taehyung already felt guilty on his own as it was, he didn't need them making him feel worse. He expected them to slap him or tell him that he should never do it again. But they didn't say that. Instead they filled his head with possibilities that should never even be thought off.

"In reality you two are adults and didn't you say she's a third year? She'll graduate in a year so really there's nothing wrong with it," Jimin tried reasoning, "She wanted to do it right? Look, I'm just happy you got your dick wet. We both know it's been way too long, plus nobody is saying you have to keep seeing your student. It was just a one night hiccup."

He had to tell himself over and over again that it was just one night. He was thankful that when you walked into class you were in the middle of a discussion when another girl from the class. The two of you were talking so much you merely walked past his desk without a stolen glance. Good, it seemed like you had no intention on more. Great. Amazing. It was the right thing.

Today a male model would be brought in for you all to paint. He had a sheet draped over his intimates and once the assignment was started you put all your focus on it. You were supposed to use him to sketch a person and then use your own art style to tell a story. You tried not looking to your professor in case he felt awkward about Saturday. You kind of did.

Mostly because you could still feel his lips on yours and it made you nervous. You spent all of Sunday in your room trying not to freak out but you just felt so stupid. It felt unbelievably good for him but you knew it wasn't right.

"I swear to god these stupid fingers are pissing me off," your friend Yuna whined as she had to erase more charcoal. Neither one of you noticed the professor making his rounds to check on all the sketches down so far.

"Think about which perspective you're using and the proportion of his hands where he has them placed," Mr. Kim told her pointing to areas that seemed off. You could feel your heart race when he made his move to you next. He was hesitant at first to speak to you, just standing behind your stool watching your sketch and he only stepped closer when he had advice.

"Pay a little more attention to the line of his body, focus on proportions too and use more shadowing,” he said pointing at spots in your painting. It felt like he was too close but neither one of you were actually bothered by it. In the mix of slight regret there was also this strong wanting for a recreation of that night. Neither one of you would actually go for it though. Right? Not again?

He looked down to make sure you were listening, your eyes lcking for a moment before you both looked away nervously at the realization of your proximity. He didn't notice the way his tongue ran over his lips before biting down on his bottom one in remembrance. You're wearing the perfume from the other night.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung looked away from you standing straight again, "But other than that it looks like you have more done than others, thank you for focusing better today."

"Of course sir," you said absentmindedly looking back to your sketch too. It took him a second to move away. He'd never felt so damn embarrassed at the fact that he had to focus so hard on not getting turned on and breaking a sweat. This is exactly why he asked you to call him Taehyung only but of course you would slip up since you were used to referring to him with the honorific. But right now he could only think about what you'd said to him that faithful night.

"You gonna punish me sir?"

Looking down at you nobody would ever guess you'd say something like that but he knew you did. He heard you say it and he really liked it—

"Sir do you mind taking a look at mine?" A student asked snapping him out of his thoughts. He had to look around to find where he was still a couple feet behind. He didn't bother responding as he started working that way not noticing the way your eyes followed after him making you smudge a mark across your paper. With a small annoyed huff you worked on cleaning it up again.

After class you were one of the last to leave the room. You've been thinking about him nonstop but because of the positions you're in, you shouldn't. But in reality, you were two adults who happened to have sex. There was a sense of sexual attraction and honestly, hooking up with someone other than your ex definitely did something to you. Considering the fact that he definitely seemed affected by your presence in class, you found yourself staying another late evening at the studio making sure Taehyung saw you the next time he passed by the room.

He did see you again a couple hours later. He was locking up his classroom ready to leave at the end of the day finding you through the door's window. His steps faltered, head turning as he looked at his surroundings. Then, he was pushing the door open letting himself into the studio. The other side of the room was all glass windows since it face the courtyard but it was dark out there. In the room all the lights were off too minus a lamp by your table and a light above the sink.

You turned instantly with the sound of the door finding him standing by it. He ran his fingers through his hair that had been casually combed back. His other hand was stuffed in the pocket of his corduroy slacks with his tote bag hanging off his shoulder. He licked his lips nervously, "I just came to let you know that the custodian will be around."

"Thank you for the reminder sir," you said with your back to him to hide a playful smile, "Or is it Taehyung? I forgot."

His breath hitched as he stared at you from across the room. You turned to look at him, the lamp above your head creating a shadow in your facial feature but appearing like a spotlight only for you. It made him feel further into the shadow at the corner he stood. He really wanted you, but it just didn't feel like he should. He was your mentor. He was nine years older. You were a college student and he was your teacher. It definitely wasn't right. But he was just so attracted to you in this moment.

"Well it depends on what we're doing," he answered absentmindedly realizing a second too late his response was flirty. He had no reason to be in the studio at this moment but he made up an excuse to go in anyway just because he wanted to see you again.

When you finished cleaning up you were walking toward him. He looked down at you through a hazy gaze as you reached for the door handle pulling it open. Taehyung simply followed behind calmly as you spoke, "Did you have a good weekend?"

His pace slowed for a second trying to unravel your question and the subtle approach you took. He's quickly realizing you're a bit promiscuous. Your nonchalant hints of something more that only he could understand but everyone else thought nothing of it. You were a tease but you hid it so well. He thought for a moment about how to word his response, "My weekend was great, and yours?"

"Oh it was really fun," you answered as the two of you walked down the path through the courtyard, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."

"Mhm," Taehyung hummed in acknowledgment looking around again to see if anyone was around, "I can imagine what that's like. Hopefully you have more like it."

Your eyes met in a side glance as the split in the sidewalk separating the parking lot from your bus stop. He played with his keys like he did the night at the lounge bar, "Going to wait for a bus?"

"That's the plan unfortunately, unless someone were to come around and take me home," you said with a shrug looking away from him the further you walked down your split sidewalks. Teahyungs voice the further he got from you, "I'm sure someone would love to drive you home."

So you said your farewells and you sat at the bus stop nervously. Maybe you were a little too obvious with you felt and he was probably worried. He most likely regretted getting involved with you.

Of course that was the opposite. He knew he shouldn't but really it was because of the university. Aside from that there was nothing wrong with being attracted to someone younger. You were both adults. That's why he was rushing to his car pulling out of the driveway and going around the corner to the bus stop. He waited a few yards back from the bus stop flashing his emergency lights at you and in an instant you were up and walking to the car. He rolled the window down flashing you a smile as you opened the door.

He did end up giving you a lift but it wasn't to your apartment, it was to his.

"I don't know if I'm going crazy, but I've got this feeling that you're seeing someone," Jungkook told you with narrowed eyes. He was currently walking you to your class before going home. He always had shorter days than you and Bora since he worked in the afternoon but he always hung out with you two.

"I'm not seeing anyone," you told him simply as the two of you walked along the sidewalk. Jungkook just hummed in acknowledgment as he carried your canvas for you.

"Yeah, sure you aren't," Jungkook responded, "You don't have to tell me if it's supposed to be a secret. Is it supposed to be a secret? Oh my god are you dating someone in a relationship?"

"Why would I become a homewrecker when I've been cheated on?" You asked him clearly displeased with his assumption. He shrugged staring down the hall to the studio, "I'm just curious why you're keeping it on the low. Is he like, not someone you should be with?"

"I'm pretty sure I told you I'm not seeing anyone," you responded back to him entering your classroom. Taehyung was standing at his desk watching everyone walk in when he noticed the same tatted guy helping you with your canvas.

"Jungkook! Hey man, what are you doing here?" One of the other students called out to him. It was Seungjin, he was in your department and you knew each other better through Jungkook. Occasionally you'd talk but not always. He came over to where you and Jungkook were to talk as you got all your things settled.

Taehyung found you standing in the middle of two guys smiling over whatever they said watching the one with tattoos pull you into his side. Technically, class hasn't started but he can't stand the sight. Just a couple days ago you were wrapped in your professor's bedsheets sleeping soundly next to him. Now you're here with two guys your own age who were making you smile and laugh.

He shouldn't be surprised you had a lot of male friends. You were clearly well known around campus and people always approached you during class. Even at your job he found all the guys behind the counter trying to impress you with whatever. Even Jimin and Yoongi commented on your looks so really, this was normal. You had a boyfriend before of six months who cheated on you—which Taehyung would never understand why—but you also told him about other past relationships. Taehyung felt like he was different than your usual type and though he could say the same about you, right now he's getting annoyed.

He smiled down at the papers on his desk but it was anything but genuine. It was a forced smile to remind himself it was alright. It's not like you two could be forward with what's happening, not until you at least graduate next spring. As his class began to fill he finally had the nerve to approach you. If he could just get any guy your age away from you that'd be great. He was 30, he couldn't compete with all the college guys who surrounded you, had the same energy as you, got the same references. Taehyung's a millennial for Christ's sake, you're a Gen Z.

He made his round toward you well calculated. He greeted other students along the way to seem natural before he zoned in on where you were. He got close enough just in time to hear his student, Seungjin, speak, "Let's go drinking tonight, bring Hoseok with too. He hasn't been around in a while."

"Alright so us three and Hoseok? Should I tell Bora too?" Jungkook asked.

"Gentlemen, I'm sure you can continue this conversation outside of the art room," Taehyung's voice was bitter. He didn't want you going out with three guys tonight. He wants to order pizza for the two of you while you go into detail about your art piece for the Spring exhibition at your place. It was definitely a college student's place. He only went in the morning he dropped you off home after spending the night with him. You invited him in for a drink and he was too curious to say no.

Compared to his neat, bachelor pad, yours was chaotic. His place was clean, dark, and modern. Yours was ecliptic, slightly unorganized with paints and brushes everywhere. Thick woven throw blankets and patterned pillows. Hanging plants that were halfway between dying and thriving. You had vinyls piled in a corner with books. You had colored LED lamps, it was basically like a hippie fest at your place. He liked it though, compared to his place yours was warm and welcoming. He liked that he could see little pieces of you everywhere he turned.

When he first moved into his own place it felt cold. He never lived on his own like that. From his childhood when he lived with his family to college when he lived with roommates and finally when he lived with his ex wife.

Jungkook looked up at your professor who seemed slightly out of focus staring at your canvas. Jungkook's never gotten an up close look at him but Bora was right, he was an attractive guy and you seemed slightly awkward now that he was here. He looked between you two, his best friend senses tingling when he watched the way Taehyung bit into his lower lip when you brushed your fingers through your hair. Seungjin was too busy apologizing to the man telling him they'll get right to work.

"Sorry Professor Kim, I'll get going now," Jungkook said warily as he went and shoved your head to the side playfully, "Am I picking you up after?"

Before you could respond Taehyung was cutting in, "Actually I've asked miss Y/n to stay behind, we've got some discussing to do about her piece for the Spring Art Exhibit."

Obviously he hadn't but you didn't even dare to deny his claims looking to Jungkook, "I'll text you, go, you're interrupting class time."

"Once again, I apologize sir, I'll be leaving now," Taehyung had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as he nodded. Jungkook bowed respectfully before turning around to leave, glancing back at you two to catch your Professor glaring at Seungjin who was pulling his things closer to you.

Jackpot, Jungkook thought when his eyes caught sight of a small purple bruise peaking out from under the collar of the professor's shirt. He was clearly seeing someone too and Jungkook's curious to know who.

Taehyung returned to the front of the room after continuing his round around his students and started his lecture on surrealism. Seungjin sat next to you now that he'd been talking to you and Jungkook and you didn't mind. You'd hung out with him a few times outside of class and he was fun to be around. Still though, you couldn't focus on what he would say when you were so focused on Taehyung.

Had he been jealous because of them? Or was he annoyed that you were delaying class time? After class would he keep you around to tell you, 'Just because we're having sex doesn't mean you can do whatever you want in my class' or was that just an excuse so Jungkook wouldn't be able to pick you up?

"Sir if it's alright with you, I'd like to discuss my work for the exhibit too," another student pointed out at the end of class. Taehyung huffed in annoyance as he looked up to find you waiting as well. You looked away, "I could always come after my last class? That way you two could discuss privately?"

He tried hiding his smile. Obviously he wanted you alone, not with another student there so he nodded in agreement watching you leave. He had to work on keeping things lowkey. You're way better at it than he is. To be fair he's been out of the game for ten years and he never had to keep a relationship a secret before.

"Perfect! I was just coming to find you, are you coming with Jungkook and I to find costumes for the party this weekend?" Bora asked once you'd left the classroom.

"What party?" You asked confused. She gasped dramatically, "The costume party! Halloween in Spring, as Hobi calls it. Jungkook's waiting by the gate."

"I've still got one more class and then I've gotta meet Professor Kim and talk about the Spring Exhibit," you told her.

Bora laughed, "Yeah you should have your discussion while riding his face."

"What?" You sounded on edge and it only made Bora laugh harder.

"I'm kidding obviously, but I'd gladly sit on his face," Bora said with a shrug, "Alrighty then, text me later and I can go shopping with you tomorrow if you don't have time today. Jungkook and I are just going to get an idea before we meet up with the others tonight for drinks."

"K, bye love you," you waved her goodbye as you went to your last class for the day. You couldn't focus on it though, not when you kept thinking about Taehyung. That's why the second it was over you were rushing over to his room.

Luckily there was no one around when you let yourself in and he barely gave you a glance before pointing to a box of painting palettes, "Mind helping carry those to the storage room?"

You nodded taking the box as he took another one before walking you to the back of the room. He opened the door to storage room and let you in first looking around through the windows to make sure nobody was watching. Then, he entered closing the two of you in as you set the boxes down. The second he turned to you, you were jumping in his arms. Taehyung's hands went to your waist holding you up as your lips met in a hungry kiss that had him groaning in want.

After some time kissing like that he set you back down but his arms didn't leave your waist keeping you close. He looked down at you, "What are you doing this weekend? Let's go out of town."

You made a pout that had his eyes rounding in curiosity and anticipation searching yours for answers. You looked down hugging around his middle section, "My friend's throwing this costume party on Saturday and everyone I know is going. If I don't go they're going to get suspicion."

"Well just tell them you'll be seeing someone but you're keeping it private," he said hopefully squeezing you in his hold a little more. You just fit so perfectly in his arms despite the taboo of it all.

"I've tried but they won't quit. Trust me, once Jungkook and Bora get suspicious that's a wrap. Jungkook is like a ducking detective when it comes to other people's business," you explained watching the way his jaw clenched as he looked away from you sadly. You rested your head on him, "What about next weekend? Are you free then?"

"I'm free, I can make reservations now," Taehyung said biting his lip, "Alright I'll go out first, make sure the coast is clear."

You nodded watching him turn to the door before stopping to look back at you, "Since I can't spend the weekend with you, maybe you can give me tonight? We can order in, watch a movie..." He seemed strangely nervous as he spoke.

Jungkook and Seungjin did make dinner plans tonight but you didn't care much about that. You'd rather get laid and spend the night with a guy who interests you. You don't want to jump into things so quickly because you could easily get hurt. It didn't change the fact that you felt safe and comfortable with him. Even when you just saw him as a mentor, yeah he could be strict but he was also very good at consolation. He'd constantly tell you how talented you were and that you shouldn't forget that even when you're feeling down.

Then obviously you're getting closer to him so it's not bad to want to spend time together. Were you dating? Not that you know of? Would you consider him to be the only man you're sleeping with? Yes. Could say that same about him to you? Probably? He didn't seem like the type to mess around with just anyone and you've been talking on the phone on nights you can't see each other.

"Then, should I wait for you down the street?" You asked once he signed that the coast was clear. You both left the room stalling as you got to the door.

"Of course, make sure you do your school work too."

"Yes sir, I'll work on it tonight," you said as the two of you stood outside now. He bit his lip to hide a smile, "Well have a good night."

"You two, thank you," you said your goodbyes as you walked in opposite directions. Then, like a constant cycle, he was picking you up in his car.

On Friday night you spent the night at Taehyung's place. It's crazy how quick the two of you have progressed but it didn't feel forced. It's like, when it was just you two you could forget about the fact he was your professor. Even when he'd quite literally tutor you for some of your required course it didn't feel like he was your teacher.

The main reason you spent the night is because you wouldn't be able to see him this weekend other than Saturday morning. Tonight you'll have Hobi's party and you had to work Sunday and Monday night. You had already dedicated next week as crunch time for your paintings so you really weren't going to be seeing him outside of class and the art studio.

So, he drove you about fifty minutes out of the city to some expensive rooftop restaurant for lunch. You wanted to spend as much of today as you could with him before Bora would be getting to your house to get ready for tonight. The restaurant was far enough and way too expensive for any of your class mates to be here so it was the perfect place for a nice lunch date. Taehyung clearly had money from his career and his parents so it wasn't a question that he'd want to treat you to something nice. He wore a YSL cream colored button up shirt and black slacks while you wore a little black dress.

The two of you walked in with linked arms letting the hostess lead you to a table while you talked. You look extra pretty today. You wore light make up that accentuated your features and your hair was styled in a way that really suited you. He couldn't keep his eyes off you, if he could he would've noticed the waking nightmare about to cross paths with him.

"Tae?" His blood ran cold as the two of you looked up, the hostess waiting at your table for the two of you. You stared at the woman and man in front of you. She looked you up and down and you did the same shamelessly. She had black hair up to her shoulders and bright red lipstick. She wore a white blouse and grey pencil skirt. An ugly pencil skirt in your opinion.

"Jihyun..." Taehyung cleared his throat and it didn't take you long to realize who this woman was. The man was quiet but he looked uncomfortable yet you felt his eyes travel down to your exposed legs. You knew this must be his ex wife and you expected Taehyung to take his arm away from your hold. It must be awkward for him to be seen with you. You were obviously sticking out from the more mature group in appearance.

"Oh, uh, it's nice to see you doing well," Jihyun said with a forced smile. You wondered if the man was the coworker she cheated on Taehyung with. His arm almost pulled you even closer to his side, "Yes, I am doing well. Oh, this is Y/n."

You gave them a tight smile leaning into Taehyung more. He smiled at that, "It looks like our table is ready so we'll get going now."

"Was that your ex?" You asked once the two of you were to the table. Taehyung nodded before flashing you a smile, "But let's not think about that. This is our first official date so let's make the most of it before we have to get going."

Without thinking you leaned across the table and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before going back to looking at the menu. Before the food arrived you excused yourself to the restroom. It was windy and you could not have your hair all over the place. While you were in there you reapplied a light layer of lipgloss as a stall opened.

You couldn't believe your luck when the cheating hag—you mean Jihyun—came out. It made you smile a little as you wiped up the corners of your lips. She gave you a look as she went to wash her stupid musty hands right next to you.

"Taehyung seems to be doing well lately," Jiyeon said washing her hands. It was the second time she'd said it like she expected him to be crying in his room, "I've known him for a very long time an—"

"I don't really care how long you've known him," you flashed her a perfectly fake smile, "And of course he's doing well. Why wouldn't he?"

Jihyun pursed her lips in annoyance, "I'm surprised when he didn't introduce you as someone he's seeing. He only said your name, it's very strange."

If Taehyung wasn't going to do anything that's alright but she's clearly judging your appearance and possibly your age and relationship with him too.

"I really like your skirt," you added with another fake smile, "Only some women can pull off that kind of look. Unfortunately it's not for me, it's too bland?"

She scoffed as she ran her hands under the sink water, "It's office attire, but you look a little too young to know anything about that."

"Oh to be young and beautiful, do you miss those days?" You said finally closing your little handbag. In fact she was only 30 but if she was going to act like this then you would too. You ran your fingers through your hair one last time and check the back of your dress in the mirror, "I'll go first since Tae is waiting for me."

You began to walk away, Jihyun stayed at the mirror for a second trying to process what is happening. You must've been more important than she thought because it looked like you clearly knew who she was. You were bitchy but that wasn't the main problem. The main problem was that you were... everything Jihyun wished she could be when she was younger. She doesn't know your age but Taehyung was surprised he could even attract someone like you. The Taehyung she knew would never be into someone like you.

He had always had a sort of timid, mysterious nature on the outside and Jihyun had been the same. That's why it was so easy for them two to get close so long ago. Jihyu had always felt insecure when it came to the confident appearance as girls like you but Taehyung always assured her he never cared for looks like that. Clearly that been nothing but a lie if he is with you.

She barely made it out the restroom's entrance when she stopped in her tracks.

She had a clear view of your table, right by the glass ledge of the rooftop. Taehyung's smile was bright as he laughed over something you said and when she looked closer his hand was in yours.

He had never been the type to be openly affectionate. It had been years since he last looked at her that way. Maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her but Taehyung had never looked at her with that gleam in his eyes like he was giving you.

"Can I come over tonight?" You asked tracing swils with your finger on his hand, "After the party I mean or will that be too late?"

You're not sure if Taehyung seeing his ex actually affected him or if he was genuinely okay but whatever it was you wanted to make sure he was okay. He already told you he'd be playing tennis later with his friends but later tonight maybe he'd want to see you.

"Hm, it will be late but I can pick you up from the party if you don't care. I don't want you driving a cab so late especially if you'll be drinking," he said as he used his free hand to eat while the other held yours.

"Aw, sir aren't you just so sweet? Maybe we can reenact our first night together in my bunny costume tonight," you said it to tease him but you were also being serious. He was so attractive you swear you could just eat him up.

Taehyung nearly choked on his water but he couldn't help but smile, "it's barely noon and you're already thinking of that?"

He felt the tip of your foot against his leg, pulling on his pant leg teasingly. You gave him an innocent smile, "No, I just think about you and then I think about how much I want you."

He placed a kiss to your knuckles, "Always so eager."

"For you."

::.

this flopped so bad last time so pls YALL 😭

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runningfrom2am · 6 months

Text

leveling the playing field V

summary: you didn't meet the requirements for the plinth prize, only to find out that you're not just missing out on that- you're missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. your friend wants to help, because maybe you can help each other.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.6k (she's long today DAMN)

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and discussion of abuse, so read with caution!!

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a/n: head empty, no thoughts. only this fic. but i should say if you enjoy it please reblog!! it means so much to us as writers, and who knows! maybe one of your mutuals is missing out on their future favourite fic ;)

next part

You're about to walk out the door, heading to the academy to meet Coryo before the games start. To try and prepare as best you can.

"Y/N, wait." Your dad stops you as you reach for the handle, and you quickly turn to him.

"Yes?" You know better than to rush him, but you already were running slightly behind schedule.

"Good luck today." He says and you nod at him.

"Thank you."

"And don't let Coriolanus down." There it is. "He is helping you, he didn't have to do that. Don't ruin this for him. If he needs anything, get it for him. If he tells you to jump, ask how high. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." You nod, a pit forming in your stomach. The pressure was on, not that it wasn't already, but now it was so much more real.

"Now, hurry up. Don't keep him waiting." He dismisses you, and you don't have to be told twice.

When you reach the academy, you rush inside. You were always rushing places, these days. The building was almost deserted, it was still quite early, but only two minutes until the time you agreed to meet Coryo in the courtyard. The Games were set to start in just under three hours, and you weren't sure what you would fill that time with, but that is what he asked of you so that is what you will do.

The last you had seen him was only about four or so hours ago, when he walked you home after stopping at the zoo to bring Lucy Gray the arena layout and he gave her a compact. One she promised to give back after the games, after crying over what today would bring. You felt bad, but mostly because you felt it was somewhat inconvenient that she would waste time over tears when you had important information for her on where to go and how to hide. This was valuable to her. Every moment counted if she wanted to walk out of the arena alive.

You spot Coryo pacing the courtyard through the window before you push it open, stepping out onto the path as the cool air brushes over your skin. It was July, but the mornings were still crisp.

"Sorry I'm almost late, I-"

"It's okay." He interrupts you as you get closer. He really only wanted you there for company, and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep in this time anyway. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, if a little tired." You shrug. "You?"

"Fine." He echoes your answer, just standing there staring at you in the silence. He really wasn't afraid of silence- but you were.

"What about your back? Recovering okay? I have some extra morphing if you're in pain." You offer, already reaching for your bag just for the sake of giving yourself something to do with your hands.

Confusion takes over his features. "Morphling?" He asks, brow furrowed. "Why do you have that on you?"

"Migraines, twisted ankles, cramps..." You answer. "You never know when you'll need some." You hold the small tube out to him, but he shakes his head, pushing your hand down.

He was sore, it wouldn't hurt, but something about taking it from you felt wrong. "No thank you, I'm fine." It would make sense that you would have it, though it was only accessible by prescription. It was likely your dad who prescribed it to you, if only so you could have it on hand. Or because he knows how often you're hurting, or he doesn't want you acting hurt- exposing the irony of having an abusive father who's also the most sought-after doctor in all of the Capitol. Morphling numbs the body, but also the mind. It's highly addictive, expensive to those who could access it, and not for the faint of heart- but you showed no signs of addiction. You must not take it often, therefore there's no real reason for him to be worried.

"Suit yourself." You shrug, tucking the vial away again. "Let me know if you change your mind. We have a long day ahead."

He nods in confirmation, joining you as you sit down on a bench nearby. "What did you give Lucy Gray last night, anyway?"

"A compact?" He feigns confusion, knowing the true implications of your question.

"Duh, Mister President." You tease. "I meant what was in it?"

Coryo chews on the inside of his cheek, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He has to answer casually, lest face your anger issues when he shows any guilt about cheating. "Uh, nothing." That wasn't a total lie, he just left out the part where he implied that Lucy Gray could find something within the cage at the zoo that would fit nicely in it, something like rat poison.

"Nothing?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. "You just gave her that as a gift?"

"Something like that." He shrugs, and your expression reads as though you're not buying it. "If she happened to find something to put in it, something that could help her, that would be just an unrelated convenience."

You freeze, staring at him in disbelief. "Coryo." You whisper, slapping his shoulder to get him to look at you as you read between the lines. "Something like rat poison? That's cheating! Are you kidding me right now?"

"What?" He defends, sitting up straighter as he looks over at you again. "It's my only shot! If she doesn't win, I can kiss the prize goodbye."

"It's not about her winning, Coriolanus. It's about the efficacy of the mentorship! Dean Highbottom said-"

"Dean Highbottom despises me, winning is the only thing I can do to get him to even glance at my mentorship as an option." He argues and you groan, burying your face in your hands.

He watches you, and suddenly feels regret for his decision. If only because you didn't approve of his actions. "Okay." You sigh, dropping your hands into your lap again and sitting up straighter. "Okay. We can work with it. As long as she is smart about it, we won't get caught. And like you said, we didn't do anything. It was just a gift."

"I warned her. She knows." He assures you. Really, there's no harm done unless you get caught. And should Lucy Gray become the victor, your life plan will fall beautifully into place. It will be worth it, you're ashamed you didn't think of such a thing first.

After everyone else arrived, the two of you decided to make a fashionably late entrance, walking into the newly decorated hall, containing many students and professors alike, the large screens against the back wall displaying all of the remaining tributes and the Hunger Games logo, where the games themselves will be aired. You were excited and scared all at once.

"Y/N, Coriolanus." Dean Highbottom greets you as you enter, taking in the atmosphere. Both of you grace him with just a nod. "I'd advise you to tell your friend Sejanus to find a seat near the door..." He adds quietly before walking off, leaving the two of you confused.

Coryo doesn't seem to think too much about it, just heading down the stairs. You follow behind him, head held high to counteract any of your peer's bitter staring or laughs. Everyone knew you didn't qualify for a mentorship, and to most, you just appeared to be following Coriolanus Snow around like a lost puppy, hoping to get the scraps of his success.

They won't be laughing when you are Head Gamemaker, that's for sure. But even then, will that not also be the scraps of his success? Him appointing you to the job of your dreams after his inauguration, will that not appear to be out of bias or pity? This isn't a question you have time to let bother you. Your future starts today.

When the games are about to start, you follow Coryo over while he decides which desk to take, deciding on one in the back row close to where you will be sitting. "Good luck." You grin, placing a hand on his forearm.

He looks down at where your hand is brushing over his coat sleeve and he nods.

You get closer, standing on your tip-toes to whisper to him. "Snow lands on top."

A small smile forms on his face. "Snow lands on top." He whispers back, grabbing your hand for only a moment, afraid of the Dean or Dr. Gaul taking notice. That would only serve to get you both in trouble.

You sit in the first row of benches where Coryo can see you, can easily look to you for help. He's grateful to have you in his peripheral, knowing that you're there, and you're not leaving, is what he didn't realize he really needed.

You both watch silently as the tributes walk out to their designated spots surrounding the pile of rubble in the center of the arena. You were there just last night, but now it looks scarier- even in the light of day. Maybe it's because you know what you are about to witness. All you can do is hope Lucy Gray won't be the first down.

Your heart drops into your stomach when the camera pans to show Sejanus's tribute- the one who escaped, hung from a beam by both his wrists. It's hard to look at, and along with the gasps that echo through the hall and Lucky's commentary, you hear a chair scraping and your eyes land on Sejanus, who's now standing in the middle of the room. He's seething, you can see it in the exaggerated rise and fall of his chest and in the contraction of seemingly every muscle in his body. That's what Dean Highbottom meant- he knew Sejanus would be leaving quickly. You stand as well, your intuition telling you he won't be leaving quietly. Neither would you, if you were in his place.

In a second, Sejanus is throwing his desk and everything on it at the large screen in front of him, screaming in anger. "You're all monsters!"

You find your feet carrying you toward the screaming boy, but he's shoving past you to leave before you get the chance to talk to him. Hug him, something. You stumble back at the contact, able to save yourself from falling as your eyes follow Sejanus out the door.

Coryo saw you get knocked back by the force of Sejanus's misplaced rage, and he wanted to check on you. Make sure you are okay, but the games are about to start. He promised Dr. Gaul that you would receive no sympathies from him, and her eyes are burning into both of your backs so he settles for shaking his head at you when you look like you want to follow Sejanus. Doing so would not only leave him alone, but sympathizing with him would align you with his attitudes, however irrelevant to your own opinions.

"Y/N." Coryo says to you, and when you look at him he shakes his head. Stay, he's saying. It's like he can read your mind. But he needs you to stay.

Surely, Sejanus needs you more. Surely, it would just be a few minutes. Then you remember what your father told you this morning and you smooth your shirt back down, returning to your seat. The games hadn't even started yet, and you're already facing hard decisions.

"You should go home." Coriolanus mutters to you, readjusting his posture in the uncomfortable chair.

"Huh?" You ask, looking up at him from where you're sitting on the floor next to his desk. After everyone else left, there was no use in sitting so far away when you could finally talk candidly about the events of the day.

"Go home." He repeats and you shake your head, attempting to salvage what was left of your hairstyle, which was carefully pinned back this morning.

"I can't, I'll stay. You can go home." You reply, looking up at the screen again. Nothing new had happened in a long time- but you didn't want to miss it if it did.

"Why not?" He yawns.

"My parents are expecting me to stay with you until it's over." You explain.

Coryo sighs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I'd invite you to stay with me, but we aren't prepared for guests." Neglecting to mention, of course, the unmaintained mess the Snow apartment had turned into over the last twelve or so years.

"Of course, I wouldn't expect that of you. One of us should be here anyway." You wave it off. "Go home, get some rest."

As soon as he's packed up and left, insisting he won't be gone for long, you make yourself comfortable in his chair with your eyes trained on the screen. You have to stay awake. Lucy Gray could make an appearance any second in search of water, food, anything. You have to stay alert. You can't let Coryo down.

You're jolted awake by the sound of gravel crunching under footsteps, echoing over the speakers from microphones inside the arena. Shit. You fell asleep, you weren't supposed to fall asleep. Immediately you're looking for Lucy Gray onscreen, looking for her body, looking for any sign of her but you see none. If there had been a fight, if she had been screaming, that would have woken you up before footsteps did.

You squint to see what's going on, eyes landing on two figures in the middle of the arena, under the beam that Lamina is lying on, still seemingly asleep. The hair on the back of your neck stands up when you realize who the two people are. Sejanus and Coryo. Your friends. Inside the arena, standing over the body of Sejanus's tribute. You recall that one of the female tributes, Lamina, had killed him and cut him down. You suspected that he asked her to- so what were the boys doing in there?

You can't tear your eyes away- what can you even do? They're talking too quietly for the microphones to pick up. Why are they even there? If Coriolanus had planned this he would have told you. This is too reckless, even for him.

You're not helping by sitting and watching. You have to get there.

Abandoning your bag, you walk as fast as you can manage out of the Academy building before making a run for it, heading in the direction of the arena. You don't even have a plan as to what you'll do when you get there. Do you go in? You'll be risking your life without a doubt. You can't risk calling them, you'll practically be summoning the most violent and angry of the tributes right to them, and to you.

When you see the arena, there are people standing outside and several peacekeeper trucks. At least people know.

"What the hell is happening?" You ask, walking up to the first person you see. A peacekeeper.

"You can't be here, Miss. You have to go." They start to push you back and you shove them away by the front of their helmet.

"Don't touch me! My friends are in there and I need to know what's happening right now!" You're trying to keep your voice down, but you need answers- urgently.

"Miss Y/L/N," You hear Dr. Gaul's voice and the peacekeeper lets you go, motioning for you to go over and join her where she is standing with the Dean, and people you recognize as Sejanus's parents are standing by a black vehicle nearby.

"What's going on?" You ask again, firmly as you walk up to the group.

"Sejanus got inside, we don't know who let him in. Coriolanus went in to coax him out."

"What? Why not send peacekeepers? Coriolanus could die in there and you let him go anyway?" It's hard to even believe they would allow a student to walk into harm's way like that. And not just any student, either. Coriolanus Snow.

"If we sent in peacekeepers Sejanus would run. Coriolanus is the only one he would trust so they could leave unnoticed." Dean Highbottom explains.

You scoff, pointing into the gates. "Then why are they still in there?"

"Sejanus is in a difficult place right now, Miss Y/L/N-"

"Yeah. Fuck this." You roll your eyes, taking off your blazer and dropping it on the ground before rolling up your sleeves, and making your way over to the gate.

"Miss Y/L/N, you can't go in there." Dr. Gaul half-heartedly tries to stop you.

"Watch me." You state and the peacekeepers open the gate, letting you in. She must have allowed them to, otherwise they wouldn't.

You're mindful of your steps, trying to be as quiet as possible. You hop over the turnstiles, your landing making the two boys' heads snap toward you.

"It's just me." You whisper, knowing they can't see you in the dark but the large open space will still carry your voice.

"Y/N?" You hear Coryo reply, clearly confused.

"Yeah. We have to go, come on. Come with me."

"Go back!" He hisses. "You can't be here!"

"Neither can you!" Now is not the time for fighting. For once, he needs to listen to you.

He just huffs, turning back to Sejanus, you're assuming to try and talk him down.

"Okay, I've got a plan." You say this time walking back through the bars, triggering the mechanism.

Enjoy the show!

You try not to wince at the loudness of the voice, knowing by now that any nearby tributes must have heard that. If the Coral's pack had heard, clearly being the biggest threat, they'd be here soon so you pick up your pace, running back to the bars that surround the arena in one large circle.

Coryo is calling you to try and get you to stop, to leave, but his whispers don't make it to you anymore.

"Give up?" Dean Highbottom asks you from the other side, and you pick up a large rock from the ground.

"Nope." You shake your head, beginning to walk around the outside, far from the entrance before you start banging it against every bar you walk past. Just for fun, you begin to sing one of Lucy Gray's songs. Maybe, that will be less obvious of a diversion.

When Coriolanus and Sejanus hear the ruckus you're making outside, the banging accompanied by the sound of your voice moving slowly around the outside of the large arena, they look at each other in a mutual panic.

"Sejanus, please. We have to go now." Coriolanus pleads with him, and he looks back down at Marcus for a moment before nodding.

"But we're taking Marcus with us."

"Okay, whatever. Yes." Coriolanus agrees desperately, already grabbing the boy's legs.

They start to carry him toward the exit, picking up pace as they hear that your diversion has worked, echoing voices working their way around the outside of the arena. That's Coryo's primary concern- until they hear what can only be attributed to a war cry from behind them, another tribute with a large knife sprinting after them.

Wordlessly, they both drop Marcus and start to run.

Once you heard what you were sure was Coral's group running up behind you, still out of view, you changed your tune.

"Gem of Panem, mighty city, through the ages you shine anew!"

With this, you hear their confusion and anger increase tenfold, along with their speed.

You start running, dragging the rock along every bar.

"Come back, Capitol Princess! What are you so afraid of?" You hear Coral's familiar voice shout at you, getting closer.

They're laughing now, following you around the outside of the arena. Hopefully, Coryo is out because now it's a race. You're on the opposite side now, and have a long way to go to get back around. You ditch the rock, picking up a full sprint.

You can hear them gaining on you with every step, and you ditch your pride and start to yell about halfway back. "Open the gate!" You scream, hoping someone can hear you, and open it for you to make a quick escape. Every inch you have on the three tributes following you counts, and you're losing that valuable space very quickly. You've never been much of an athlete.

You round the side of the building, seeing the gate partially open, and Coryo is standing there holding a hand out to you. "Y/N/N! Come on!"

As soon as you get close enough he grabs your arm and pulls you through, yanking you back as the peacekeepers slam the gate again in the faces of the tributes. Barbarically they slam their weapons against the bars, making you jump as you crash into Coryo's chest. He's got his arms around you now, holding the back of your head protectively as they eventually give up and walk away, stalking off like a pack of wild animals who had lost their prey; except you don't think they planned on eating you. Just killing you for the fun of it, to leave your family and the city tortured the same way it was over the murder of Arachne Crane.

You're breathing heavily and you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your head, maybe it's his. You can't even really tell.

"You shouldn't have done that." He mumbles to you, gripping onto you as tight as ever. He wants to scold you, tell you that you were too reckless for your own good. That you could have been killed; but he can't. He doesn't care. In this moment, he is only concerned with one thing. "Are you alright?"

You inhale, trying to focus on slowing your laboured breaths as you nod against his shoulder. You couldn't speak, even if you wanted to. You couldn't argue with him and tell him you were only trying to help, and you would argue that you did.

"Coriolanus." Dr. Gaul says, walking up and looking him over. "You'll need stitches, come back with me to my lab." She instructs and he lets you go.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks, pushing your hair back out of your eyes to look at you more clearly. You just nod, biting on the inside of your cheek.

"Fine." You assure him quietly, heart still racing behind your ribs. "Go get stitched up."

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#tbosas #tbosas fic #ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #the hunger games #thg #thg fanfiction

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riseofamoonycake · 6 months

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Hi! I would like to read something about female!reader sending nudes or photos in bath suit to her s/o.

Free choice on the characters, but I don't follow ror or bsd, so if you can don't choose these fandoms.

Ok! Since you didn't specify anything, I chose some interesting babe from a fandom I accept and made some hcs eheheh... and thank you *^* I had a very pleasant time while writing it!

Reacting to you willingly sending them a nude (or a photo in bathing suit)

Featuring: some of my favorite men in JJK

Choso, Kashimo Hajime, Higuruma Hiromi x fem!reader

Choso

As soon as Choso sees the notification of your message, he doesn't think twice and opens it immediately, innocently, even smiling: so, out of the blue, this poor boy finds himself in front of a photo of your body thight in a skimpy swimsuit, which leaves very little to the imagination and yet covers what it needs to cover.

Choso stares at the screen for a split second, just long enough to realize what he is looking at, then turns completely red and has to take his eyes away to focus on something else, whatever it is, while shaking all over and starting to sweat profusely. You hit him, you knocked him out: congratulations, you killed Choso. After this experience, he will never be the same as before.

The blush accompanies him for the rest of the day, as well as what he saw: there is no possibility of making him forget the vision of your breasts wrapped in that miserable flap of fabric, of your plush thighs, of all that exposed skin and only for him… and as soon as Choso sees you again, it gets worse, because he can't even speak and you have to be the one to come closer, take his face in your hands and squeeze his cheeks, and hug his neck while you ask him if everything okay, chuckling as I notice his usual paleness softened by a nice bright red.

"Did you have to do it? What is it, a new form of punishment?", he whispers to you in a faint voice, without the courage to look at your face or touch you; and for the rest of the day he will be on another world. Poor puppy, let him breathe and recover a little; afterwards you will have a lot to talk about…

… And in any case, the photo was more than welcome.

Kashimo Hajime

"Aaaahhh, what a naughty girl…"

Without hiding an amused and excited smile at the same time, Kashimo continues to observe the photo you sent him, observing every detail of that body fully enhanced by the costume you are wearing and barely hidden by the sarong that you - stupidly - decided to put around your waist, so he carefully saves the photo, closes his cell phone and shakes his head, placing that vision in a safe corner of his mind and continuing to do what he had to do: whether he was in the midst of combat or engaged in a simple errand, the pleasure only comes in following duty, otherwise it cannot be fully exalted. Every now and then the photo comes back to him, as it should, but he manages to keep it at bay and not let it interfere with his duties; but when the god of lightning has completed all his commitments and can dedicate himself only to his beautiful partner… it is better for you to start running away.

It is really necessary for you to find a safe haven, because wherever he is, it takes Kashimo just a few minutes to reach you and appear in front of you, his eyes wide with excitement and the most perverse grin you have ever seen crossing his face. Electric shocks crackle around him, aiming in your direction like hissing snakes, almost enveloping you as his arms tighten around your back with energy.

"There she is, the little brat! What did you think you were doing by sending me that photo, hmmm? And why have you already got dressed?"

Well, I told you to escape: now, enjoy as much as possible Kashimo's hot hands that grab and squeeze you, tearing everything you are wearing to caress and pinch the flesh underneath, while his mouth it closes around the neck and bites it with the same hunger as a wolf, carving its mark on your throat, or it seeks the warmth of already dripping folds into which to insert that long and already darting tongue…

Higuruma Hiromi

Your photo arrives just at the most suitable time of the day, when there is total chaos in the law firm, and Higuruma opens the message almost by chance, as if to seek salvation and a bit of calm in your words.

And words are not at all.

The man's breathing is the only thing that changes in him, because his face remains impassive: however, his mind goes blank for an instant while the image of your naked body comes to occupy the entire screen and pushes away practices, tasks and deadlines with the force of a kiss, and he no longer hears anything or responds to anyone.

After entire minutes of silence and immobility, only a: "… Oh?" soft as a caress leaves his lips as he continues to stare at the screen and everyone believes that he is simply enchanted reading something, even if his eyes remain fixed and no one dares to come closer to check what is happening; and in the end the lawyer takes a weak sigh, closes his cell phone and goes back to his work as if nothing had happened, even if his day has completely changed.

His serious expression doesn't change even when he comes home and sees you, and initially he doesn't reply to your smile; then, just before you can say anything, he steps in front of you and stares straight into your eyes. “So, about what you sent me today…” A pause. "Show me the proof of what you say."

You laugh, already knowing where he is going with this; a matter of a few moments, before he grabs your face and gives you an intense kiss, one hand tightening around your hair to gently pull it and the other already undressing you, while he presses his chest against yours until he pushes you against the wall. You smile as you say goodbye to your clothes and underwear, because nothing can stop Hiromi until you are completely naked, just covered by that veil of light coming from the chandelier; and he can grab your hips and dig his nails into them while he lifts and holds you pressed against the wall with his own body, undressing himself just enough to allow you to caress him and him to take you in place and find relief in your soft arms.

Your excited gaze and bated breath push him to start to destroy you slowly but firmly, savoring your every moan and tremble, staring at you while you throw your head back and expose the throat to everything he wants to do to it. You richly deserved it, with your beautiful photo; just as you also deserved the long spanking session that will fall on your sweet buttocks as soon as Higuruma has tamed you well and then his gavel will find a fun use on you for the whole night…

#jjk kashimo #jjk choso #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso #kashimo hajime #hajime kashimo #higuruma hiromi #jjk higuruma #hiromi higuruma #kashimo x reader #kashimo x y/n #higuruma x reader #kamo choso #choso x reader

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justallihere · 1 month

Text

some fluff for your saturday 🫶🏻

***

Xaden’s favorite time was the middle of the night, when his wife slept peacefully and he got to hold his daughter and watch the snow falling.

Fia, like her mother, liked the library. Xaden was sure it was the floating mage lights that kept her attention—at seven months old, she certainly couldn’t read—but it was the place that calmed her the quickest when she wouldn’t sleep. He liked to think it was something she’d gotten from Violet.

Fia looked like him: his warm brown skin, his dark hair and dark eyes, his mouth. But she had Violet in the shape of her nose, the fullness of her cheeks. She was calm and quiet like Violet, attentive and curious, even just beginning to sit up and grab for anything within reach. She liked Xaden’s wedding ring, liked the texture of Violet’s dragon scale corset. She liked looking at the dragons: she would sit and stare at Andarna for hours if Xaden let her, endlessly fascinated by her shifting scales as Andarna stretched her wings in the sun.

She was an easy baby for the most part, but Violet’s pregnancy had been hard.

They’d assumed it would be, but she’d been in pain almost constantly—aching joints and swollen feet and hands. By the second half, she spent more time in bed than out of it, barely sleeping due to the pain. Thanks to Brennan and the best midwife in Tyrrendor, the birth had been smooth, though long; Violet labored for over a day before Fia joined them. Then she’d spent more weeks recovering, Fia sleeping on her chest as Violet read to her.

It was why Xaden always got up in the night when Fia woke. Violet would have done it gladly, he knew that, but she’d given so much to bring Fia into the world while he’d only been able to watch. Rocking her back to sleep once or twice a week was the least he could do. Violet protested, and he ignored her. Sometimes she’d come find them, but more often than not she slept on comfortably and didn’t wake until Xaden joined her in bed again.

“What do you think?” Xaden murmured to Fia, stopping in front of a window and turning her around so she could look outside. She pressed a chubby little hand to the glass and cooed. “How long are we gonna be awake tonight?”

Fia babbled unintelligibly. Once the window had lost her attention, he shifted her in his arms so her head could rest against his shoulder, and she lay limply against his chest. He rubbed a broad hand up and down her back, marveling, not for the first time, at how tiny she was. How easily she fit into his arms. He never wanted to let her go.

Violet protested that it was bad for Fia to be held constantly. She needed to move and look and engage with the world around her. Xaden argued that she’d have years to do those things, and he only had a few months to hold her like this. That usually made Violet soften, and she got that tender expression on her face that he never tired of because it reminded him that she loved him just as much as he loved her.

He walked half a dozen laps around the library, humming under his breath. Fia settled slowly as he rocked her, bouncing her lightly in the way she liked and stroking along her spine. He felt her little form go entirely limp, finally asleep; her head tipped to press against his neck, her breath against his skin, the beat of her heart against his own. He could go put her back to bed, but he didn’t stop walking.

Just a little longer, he decided. Just a few more minutes holding her.

“I think she’s drooling on you,” a voice whispered, breaking through the still serenity of the library.

Xaden turned and found Violet leaning against a shelf, watching him with a soft look on her face.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Xaden murmured.

She smiled sleepily. She was in a nightgown and thin robe, barefoot with her hair loose and tangled, like she’d woken and hadn’t wanted to be alone. “Come here,” she said quietly.

Xaden went. He held Fia with one arm, and reached out with the other to take Violet’s hand. She fit her fingers into the spaces between his and stepped in close, resting her head against his chest next to their daughter. She stretched on her toes to brush a fleeting kiss against Fia’s soft cheek, and then titled her face up to Xaden expectantly.

He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally pressed his mouth to hers. “I love you,” he murmured.

Violet’s eyes fell shut, contentment written in every line of her expression. “I love you, too.”

#this doesn’t exist at any particular time or in any particular world #it’s not related to sitq #just a lil fluffy moment #fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #riorgail #xaden riorson #violet sorrengail #xaden x violet

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ilguna · 4 months

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Can you do finnick odair with Marjorie by taylor swift for the piano sessions . Like finnick is grieving after reader dies in the sewers . I LOVE some good finnick angst

Ps I absolutely adore your work

☼ marjorie (Finnick Odair) ☼

warnings; swearing, death, death mention.

wc; 1.7k

notes; Piano Sessions: songfic, Marjorie by Taylor Swift.

District Four is haunted by the ghost of you.

Finnick knew it would be hard coming back here, which is exactly why he’s been putting it off for so long. He needed more time to come to terms with the fact that you wouldn’t be by his side when he did it. It helped that he wasn’t immediately released from the Capitol directly after the rebel’s victory.

There was a set time period for the victors from the Star Squad to recover from their adventure in the sewers. Whether it be from physical, emotional or mental wounds. In Finnick’s case specifically, all three. He nearly got torn apart by the pale slimy mutts if it weren’t for you, coming in to save him. Ultimately, losing your life for him.

It’s hard for him not to blame himself. He knows that’s not what you would want, it was your choice to jump in front of him. He wishes you hadn’t. He’s sure that he would’ve found a way to get out of there, and he’d much rather you be here, than him. You deserved to live.

The vote that Coin conducted regarding another Hunger Games with the Capitol’s children delayed his trip home further. In fact, it set off a whole domino lineup that he’s sure Katniss never thought would happen. She knew there would be consequences, of course, she just didn’t take the time to think about how severe it would be.

Finnick voted no to the idea twice. Once for him, because he would never subject them to the years of torture he had to go through, especially since they had no hand in the Games. And one more time for you, because you would never have entertained the idea.

In the end, it didn’t matter, because the vote went through. The same evening, Katniss was to execute Snow on live television, when instead she took the life of Coin for suggesting such a tasteless idea. This was when the dominos began to fall. Her actions caused another couple weeks of trial while they assessed her wellbeing. While that happened, an emergency election took place, where Commander Paylor took charge of Panem.

When Katniss was granted permission to go home to District Twelve, so was everyone else that was in Capitol custody. For the first time in Finnick’s life, he could go anywhere, do anything. Despite the fact that it should’ve felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, they felt heavier. When he imagined the light at the end of the tunnel, he always pictured it with you. Not by himself.

There were many people around Finnick that tried to support him. The most important of them being Johanna, who did tell him that he didn’t have to go back to Four if he didn’t want to. She wouldn’t mind it if he decided that he wanted to live with her for a little while, or even permanently.

With him being away for so long, he had to go home. He ached for it. The same way he ached for you to be in his arms, for you to kiss his face, for you to calm the rising grief in his chest for all the people you lost together.

Finnick’s never felt more alone.

He wasn’t sure what he expected when he stepped off the train a month ago, but it wasn’t the flood of memories that hit him while standing on the station. All of the times you’d gone to the Capitol together to mentor for the Hunger Games. How he held your hand every time while you carefully stepped off, because of the one time your foot slipped. His promise for it to never happen again.

It didn’t end there. It doesn’t matter where Finnick goes. It doesn’t matter how far he runs. He’s gone to the beach, and relived the picnics and the sunrises and the stargazes. The way you’d brush the sand from his skin, the minutes that never seemed to end when he had his eyes on you.

The first day he went to the market, he was met with all the sorrowed faces that frowned in his direction. Every single one of them knew how much you meant to him. If you were out of the house, usually he wasn’t too far behind, going wherever you went. If it meant he was able to spend more time with you.

It got worse when he returned to Victor’s Village, where he was met with a cemetery of houses that belonged to the victors that used to live there. With the rebellion, almost everyone had been wiped off the map by the Peacekeepers. And if not by them, then the rebels, who were afraid of the loyalists.

Besides Finnick, the only other victor that survived is Annie, but she lives with Katniss’s mother now. It was too painful of an idea for Annie to return here, she likely would’ve broken down completely. She can’t handle the memories the same way that he can.

He wishes he could say that he escapes reality in his house, that he’s able to pretend that nothing’s ever changed. And you’re still across the street, baking cookies with the door wide open. But his house is haunted, too. Finnick knew that one day he would regret inviting you to live with him at his house, when you had offered for him to move into yours.

He thought it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Finnick never intended for the two of you to fall apart, he was going to hold you two together for the rest of your lives if you allowed him to. He never considered that an outside force would wipe you off the face of the planet forever.

He should have taken your offer, because maybe then it wouldn’t be so painful to stay here, in his own home. Maybe he wouldn’t be crying in his bed at night, clutching your pillow, begging for you to come back. For a sign that you’re still around, waiting for him.

You’re everywhere, you’re inescapable. Your favorite tableware is in his cupboards, the one that your family has been using for generations. The one that your kids were supposed to use as they grew up, and eventually take as they gave it to their own children.

Your favorite soaps are in his bathrooms, which he’s too afraid to use. He had to buy new hand soap to avoid using the one that you’d gotten. He doesn’t touch the shampoo and conditioner in the shower. He doesn’t even sniff the body wash that sits on the ledge of the tub.

Your decorations are carefully placed throughout the house. You brought life to his kitchen, his living room, his bathrooms, his hallways, his bedroom. Pieces that he never would have thought to grab in the past, because he couldn’t see the point of having them.

Your favorite smell is embedded in the blankets on the bed you shared. With your preferred perfume still sitting on the bedside table, waiting for you to come back. It would bother Finnick when you would spray his side of the bed, but now he would give anything for you to do it again.

Your makeup is on the vanity on the far side of his room, the jewelry box is propped open, the silver and gold collecting dust because he doesn’t want to close it. And your clothes are still taking up half of his closet, which he resists smelling every hour of the day.

Johanna told him to get rid of all of it. Or, at the very least, bring it back to your house, but he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s yours. For a brief moment in time, this place was yours too. Even if your belongings are gone, your feet are still imprinted in his wooden floors. In his mind.

You linger.

There’s a trace of you in every path you walked, in every object you touched, in every person you talked to, and in every breath of air that Finnick takes. This becomes increasingly obvious the longer Johanna stays with him.

“Maybe you and Katniss should spend some time together.” Johanna suggests, arms crossed over her chest. She looks over Finnick. “I heard that she’s not doing very well either.”

Of course not. Katniss lost more than she probably ever thought she would. She went through with being the Mockingjay to free Panem, but more importantly, to keep her sister safe. The whole reason why she ended up in that position was because she didn’t want her sister to go into the Games. Now that she’s dead, not even her own mother will return to Twelve. And the person she loved hasn’t stepped foot back, either.

When Finnick tears his eyes from the pot of fake greenery in the corner to look at her, the scowl on her face smooths out.

“No gossip.” She breathes, arms unfolding. “(Y/n) would’ve scolded me by now.”

Finnick presses his lips together, wanting to keep the growing pressure behind his eyes contained.

“You and Katniss got along though, didn’t you?” She asks. “I thought I saw you getting close while we were in District Thirteen.”

He nods. “We had a lot in common.”

“You still do.” She says, the expression on her face has changed once again. This time to concern. “Finnick, are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“I’m sure.” Finnick breathes.

If Johanna stays, then she’ll ultimately end up trying to erase the time you put into him. She’ll try to take his mind off of all the things he knows about you. How you loved the amber skies in autumn. The way you’d pull him into the freezing beach water, while he complained the whole time.

The song you’d hum on the way back to his house, holding his hand up until the very minute you got into the shower together. He should’ve asked you what you were thinking about, he should’ve listened to every word.

‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from him.

this was part of my 3k celebration!!

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urfavslav · 5 months

Text

toman!mikey, mitsuya, kokonoi + implied fem!reader (seperately), tw ed, recovery from ed [absolutely, congrats on working on recovery! I'm proud of you! hope i did this justice <3 🫂💞]

request: (@giannitaa) heyy!! how are you? could i please requests for a fem!reader recovering from an eating disorder with mitsuya, mikey and extra characters from tokyo revengers? (please if you don't feel comfortable writting about this just tell me because i want to know if it's a yes or a no) i had an eating disorder (anorexia) and i'm slowly introducing myself to new foods or meals that i used to have before my eating disorder 🥹a fluff/comfort headcanons please and thank you! have a great day/good night/good afternoon

mikey is definitely the type to take out put to eat whenever he gets the chance. cafe after ur classes are done, small restaurant after a big fight and his energy is depleted, breakfast before a trip out to the beach. if you don't feel comfortable eating as often as he does, that's ok! he's push you once or maybe twice but he knows when to back off. will also share his meal, you wanna try what he has go ahead! as long as you share yours, yknow taxes. mikey will be there if you feel like venting about a relapse, gushing about a new food you tried or anything in between! he's all ears and at ur side at the drop of a hat!

mitsuya, this sweetheart. :( always texting you to make sure u have at least 2-3 meals a day and stay hydrated. (but listen to ur body!) I think he struggles with eating to, but in a sense of forgetting to eat, with his sisters and his dreams of the fashion industry I think he can get pretty carried away. I think you two would def remind each other to have at least some snacks <3 omg dates/hangouts would be so cute 😭 imagine picking places to go get food and just talk. he's such a chill guy. always offering to take care of the bill, yall end up splitting/taking turns anyway. v supportive! tries to learn about your disorder and how to help you with recovery

koko, cmon you already know ow he's probably worried without reason and tries to spoil you. mentioned a meal you wanna eat? yeah he got reservations a few days ago to a new restaurant. you don't like eating in public? that's ok too, personal chef for dinner <3 he cares about you and wants to make your recovery as comfortable as possible. the type to make sure you have water and ur drink of choice and snacks available to you. once in a blue moon he will make you a super cute meal, like rilakkuma omurice or a cutesy curry. he's trying ok

★ all works belong to @urfavslav , do not repost on anywhere else with or without credit, do not plagiarise. thank you !

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lorcandidlucienwill · 1 month

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hi, i agree with a lot of what you’ve said in your last post about acotar opinions that should be universal - but would you mind not throwing around diagnoses like that of DID with little to no context? i agree that tamlin was acting out of character to some extant, but i attribute that to sjm’s bad writing more than anything else, and i think pathologising the behaviour of a fictional character who’s already so hated (however unjustly) further contributes to the stigma. i don’t think he changed as much as the narrative’s attitude towards him. i’d be interested to know why you think he has DID because i can’t think of anything that would suggest the same. i apologise if i’m coming off as combative, but as someone who takes issue with the ease with which this fandom throws around words like abuse - or pathologies/labels in general, i can’t help but implore you to think twice about this, or at least explain why you hold this opinion, if you don’t mind.

— i’m also not trying to imply that there’s anything wrong with tamlin or anyone having DID - just that there are a lot of misconceptions about such disorders, and having failed to find evidence supporting the same, wanted to understand your assertion a little bit more. which is to say i don’t want someone to think “if tamlin is bad and tanljn has did then tamljn is bad because he has did, ergo did is bad.” which is a terribly oversimplified statement and a bit of a reach, but within this fandom? i wouldn’t be surprised.

Hello! I am not just making the diagnosis on a whim, I have actually taken psychology courses and Tamlin fulfills many of the DSM-5 symptoms. DID often occurs as a result of severe childhood trauma, and Tamlin, apart from having abusive parents, was sexually harassed as a child by Amarantha which continued long into his adulthood.

I think the age break scenario does personally suit him as a character even more than the personality break.

Because it is at incidences of high intensity. So, not all of the pain he’s suffered is going to result in a crack. But it would build up overtime

For example, leading to the first crack being at childhood meeting with Amarantha, after two years of living with an abusive parent. Which creates a “brain save” in his mind of twelve year old Tamlin. Fast forward to UTM, where I am almost certain Tamlin was raped. Considering he already had past SA from Amarantha, the trauma he experiences UTM is likely to become associated with the experiences of childhood. So the “brain save” of age twelve will then mix with the new age of twenty three / five hundred

And a new crack is formed, creating a need for a new save. Think of it like a computer auto saving. It’s the minds way of seeing a future crash and ensuring that you don’t wake up not knowing who you are. In ACOMAF we see two distinct sides of him. We see one side that is gentle and kind as he was before, and we also see a more violent, panicky side where he seems to be losing control of his magic. If you want to know more, my friend @positivelyruined has actually had DID and recovered from it and she agrees with my diagnosis!

#anon asks #tamlin #pro tamlin #dissociative identity disorder #mental health

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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 1 year

Text

beef with wasps

f!singer x andrei svechnikov

warnings: mentions of anaphylactic shock/severe allergic reactions, swearing, light joking of near death (to be clear: nobody dies in this), some fluff

liked by gracieabrams, rolemodel and 836,217 others

ynofficial: on behalf of y/n - she is conscious, well and in great hands. she told me to spare the details on what happened, but does want you guys to know that after suffering a wasp sting earlier this afternoon, she was rushed to the ER after going into anaphylactic shock. she gave us all quite a scare and will be in overnight for observations, but doctors are positive she'll make a full recovery

S x

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gracieabrams: thinking of you and wishing you the best recovery! <3

fan1: who tf is s?

fan2: that must have been terrifying, so glad she's ok now

fan3: sending love

reneerapp: ❤️❤️

comments for this post have been restricted

liked by olivia_dejonge, haleyluhoo and 921,375 others

ynofficial: they gave me so much fucking adrenalin i have a rocket up my arse rn and he's just gone to the vending machine bc im so hungry so im taking this opportunity to tell you guys that i almost died today but im ok and the reason theres no selfie is bc i look like a pickled dick rn and as charles boyle once said life is a party and im the pinata xxxxx and he did get me flowers without me even asking so im vv in love rn

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fan4: sorry you almost died?????

fan5: babe what did you think anaphylactic shock was

fan6: does the adrenalin also increase the meme usage

fan7: so she almost dies AND reveals she might be in a relationship??? my heart is breaking twice tonight

fan8: ok but the flowers???? she's got a real one there

fan9: i mean i'd like to think if you almost died your partner would get you flowers...

fan10: lmao you'd think so wouldn't you

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, madisonbaileybabe and 926,174 others

ynofficial: back home! i'm now on house arrest because "there aren't any wasps inside" (we have beef with their butts now). needless to say, it was scary for everyone, but as you can see, miley (the cat) is the only one unbothered. i'm currently typing this from under a human giant and i'm loving every second.

i'd also like to take the opportunity to apologise for my loopy instagram posting and let everyone who purchased tickets for the phoenix show know that they will be refunded. again, i'm incredibly sorry for any inconvenience!

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fan11: and you expect me to believe that human giant in the photo is NOT svech???

fan12: he also likes cats

fan13: and in her other post, it was signed off with 's'

fan14: girl don't apologise

fan15: is he ok?

ynofficial: bit teary but we're recovering!

fan16: NO SVECH DON'T CRY EVERYTHING IS OKAY

andrei_svechnikov37: ynofficial you almost died i'm not letting you go that easily

fan17: SVECH HELLO

liked by ynofficial, devonleecarlson and 57,931 others

andrei_svechnikov37: the family emergency has made a full recovery! (thank fuck) i also wanted to come on here and say that i'm unbelievably proud of this girl, and hilariously in love with her

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fan18: crying happy tears this is adorable

fan19: SVECH STOP RUINING MY STANDARDS

fan20: i love how she's wearing red in the last two pictures

ynofficial: shh he hasn't caught on yet

fan21: i've only had y/n and andrei for a day (officially), but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

fan22: am i the only one who wants to know how long they've been dating?

fan23: no!! i do too

ynofficial: you're making me blush

liked by andrei_svechnikov37

fan24: y/n is so precious and idk who andrei is but i love him just for this caption

fan25: svech is definitely a cuddler

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liked by andrei_svechnikov37, sydney_sweeney and 1,028,285 others

ynofficial: i can't find the right words to express how happy and grateful i am to have you in my life, so i'm just going to settle with i love you so fucking much that sometimes i can't breathe because of it, okay?

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fan26: is andrei the inspiration behind out of my misery?

ynofficial: yes

fan27: you guys make me sick in a good way

fan28: wow you've got taste y/n

andrei_svechnikov37: saying you can't breathe is a bit too soon

ynofficial: LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

andrei_svechnikov37: i love the love though

fan29: y/n i can't-

fan30: how long have you guys been together?

ynofficial: one and a half years!

fan31: y/n not being overly mushy on instagram and casually announcing she's dating an nhl player is my favourite part of this year so far

#andrei svechnikov x reader #nhl social media au #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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moonbaby26 · 2 months

Text

Title: Lovers

(Chapter 3 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)

*Crossposted to AO3 Here*

Reader/(Y/N) Type: cis female marine

Chapter Pairings: Doflamingo x Reader is primary, Aokiji/Kuzan x Reader is secondary, Smoker x Reader is in the past

Chapter Warnings: language, masturbation (male and female), phone sex, breeding kink, binge drinking

Chapter Synopsis: After surviving your ordeal with Doflamingo at the Sabaody auction house, you finally get to return to Marineford that evening. Only to find yourself out with Kuzan and friends for an awkward night at the bar. But even then, Doflamingo isn’t done with you yet.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

————————————

Twice now Doflamingo had lost his composure with you. He was sure it’d seemed senseless, obsessive even to you. Explosions of violence mixed with that almost animalistic need to claim your body beneath his own.

But if you hadn’t wanted his attention, you never should have made your home on the one marine’s ship that had ever gotten the closest to catching him.

Even now as he stood, still leaned against Disco’s desk while intently watching you redress, this was far from a recent attraction.

He’d known who you were for several years now. The little stray that Tsuru had picked up in the North Blue somewhere along the way while pursuing him.

Of course, you’d still been as weak as a kitten in comparison to him at first, even with a little haki at your command. But a headache then blossoming for his soldiers as you’d clearly thrived under Tsuru’s specific brand of mothering. And you still had yet to hit your own power ceiling, noticeably improving year after year which was the truer danger.

You were a lioness in the making. One who he now had the privilege of either furthering the potential of, or extinguishing entirely. Because at least for now, you were still caught between what you’d been and what you could be.

But he appreciated how quickly you recovered from defeat as well. Your posture already looking strong again, head held confidently with that innate pride that couldn’t be taught.

It was almost elegant then, this poise within you that conflicted with your sailor’s tongue and brawler’s spirit. The contrast making him feel a little amorous all over again as he moved forward while you’d been putting on that long marine coat.

Your eyes flitted to him cautiously as he closed that distance in only a few steps. But you still didn’t stop his hands as they met your collar.

A false chivalry, just another excuse to touch you really as he then buttoned the very top of your coat enough for the collar to cover some of your fresh bruises.

Some, but not all. The marks from his fingertips still painted your jaw. Where he’d first grabbed you in ambush from the rafters.

It’d been that much pressure from his hand even as he’d kissed you earlier in that initial attack. Because in actuality he’d wanted to rip that smile right off your face, and maybe your throat along with it. Your smile that had emerged as you’d flirted with Aokiji.

You’d denied renewed need for the admiral. But Doflamingo knew what he’d seen. That expression was unmistakable.

And he never wanted to see it on you again, unless it was for him alone of course. Which was disconcerting how quickly this had consumed his thoughts, yet not fully surprising.

The warlord was a man that didn’t take half measures in anything. When he truly wanted someone, man or woman, there was no holding back. He would pursue you as thoroughly as he desired to and for as long as he chose to. Never a day less.

This was his right as a god still trapped among this hellscape of insects of course. He could have whoever he wanted.

But he knew the risks as well. Disco and his men wouldn’t be saying a word of what he’d done to you this morning. Because there’d be no pieces left of them for anyone to find if they did.

But the slaves might talk once their initial shock had dissipated. And anyone with eyes may question your visible injuries. You were too strong to have struggled against just any low level lackey to take those hits.

Yet part of him wanted that to be questioned. Doflamingo wanted Aokiji to see these marks and ask you why. He wanted that other man to know that you were no longer free for the taking, even if it wasn’t clear who had claimed you now. That was the primary reason he’d excused you to see the admiral tonight after all. You wouldn’t confess in full to your friends regardless, he trusted that too.

Not because he thought you were actually loyal to him yet, but because you were too selfish to jeopardize your own career. Even if a warlord was technically an ally to the marines by way of special government contract, morally your friends would never appreciate you willfully bedding a pirate he was sure.

And it would be willfully again. He had meant it when he’d said he wanted you to stay a while with him. He’d make sure that Vergo approved shore leave for you at least for a few days when this had had a little time to blow over.

It still had to be before Tsuru returned though. Because the difficulty would increase exponentially then. He tried not to think of that right now actually.

A battle for another day.

“I’ll do the talking out there. But I expect you to keep your part of the deal, woman.” He reminded you a bit severely regardless.

But even now, your eyes were still on his red glasses as Doflamingo found himself smirking down at you.

He would still have to commend Vergo for the effort in getting you here. The reason anything had gone awry at all was only because of your poor choice to overplay your hand and antagonize him with Aokiji.

“I’ll contact you later to confirm. Once things have settled a little more. And I’ll let you know what days to ask for.” That was the last instruction Doflamingo then gave you in private before walking out the door.

He made sure to exit first too, even those little movements meaning something as you were only allowed to walk out behind him as a good subordinate should.

But he could train you in all these unspoken rules in time he was sure.

Now, back out in the cage area, the fear from everyone else was palpable. Especially as he’d quickly addressed them all as the roaches that they really were to him.

“Listen up, trash!” He also grouped Disco and his men in with that moniker of course. “If you really don’t recognize this handsome face from the previous world’s most wanted lists, my name is Donquixote Doflamingo. Royal Shichibukai and coincidentally, also the new owner of this shithole we now stand within.”

But even then as everyone else squirmed, the warlord was hyperaware of you and your calm stance. You there at his side with your arms crossed. Irritated a bit at his theatrics, yet you also could have hung back to be literally anywhere else in the cage area. But here you were right beside him.

And fuck, if he didn’t still like that proximity too. It felt like somewhere you should be, on leash and at his heel. Yet he did still step slightly forward, keeping you to his side but just subtly behind him.

He alone was the master here after all, even as he put credit to your own reputation. “But this marine here is also a name I’m demanding you to remember. Captain (Y/N) from marine HQ. Because it’s only her that you have to thank for every single one of you walking free today.”

You really weren’t sure about your name coming out of his mouth so publicly that way though. His right eye caught that slight frown from you that told him so even in his peripheral vision.

Disco’s men about gasped like idiots all over again naturally, while the slaves barely looked up. Of course they didn’t yet trust that this wasn’t all some colossal joke.

“Because after some negotiations-” It was a wonder he could actually say that with a straight face himself. It wasn’t fully a lie though. Of course you’d negotiated, but without speaking. He’d gagged you so that you wouldn’t say anything he didn’t want Disco to know.

But you didn’t need to speak for your body to do the talking for you.

“Captain (Y/N) has brought to my attention enough infractions and lapses against current World Government regulations that all inventory here is now under voided purchase contract.”

He did glower to the employees specifically then. “So open the cage and let them walk. Now that this is under new management though, we won’t be repeating your mistakes again.” Doflamingo grunted next, still entirely acting as if this loss of the slaves hadn’t been his own idea just minutes earlier.

He could convincingly play pretend when he needed to. Just as during Disco’s first whining phone call this morning. When Doflamingo had acted annoyed as if he wasn’t already sunning casually on the auction house roof waiting for that exact call via mini transponder snail. It’d been simple enough to slip right inside through the windows soon after.

Disco had been the only one completely in the dark. Vergo had picked the time and place. Doflamingo had only had to be ready.

And the warlord did hang around now while you called Vergo yourself to ask for backup in escorting out the slaves.

It was funny to listen in on really. Vergo having to continue the game, and doing it so well. As if his true lord and master wasn’t still standing right beside you, them both having planned this days earlier.

Of course, actually freeing any slaves was a true surprise. But Vergo would never question any choices his master made. No matter how unexpected.

And as Vergo confirmed to you that he was on his way, Doflamingo waited for this rare chance to see an old friend face to face.

But it wasn’t a fully uneventful wait. He was still watching you of course to pass the time. Analyzing everything as you had entered the cage then to free that merboy yourself once you knew reinforcements were imminent.

And it did become clear that Aokiji hadn’t been overselling that particular weakness in you at all. Because you really did care about brats didn’t you?

He watched how easily you were able to talk to the boy. You being the same woman he knew had beaten information out of his own foot soldiers more than once, now just smiling and on your knees then while you got the skittish creature to drop its guard.

In fact, in a very short time the boy was clutching your neck, wishing to be carried. Not so different than when Baby 5 had used to hold to his own leg as he walked his family away from a fresh kill site.

He oddly considered then if you’d ever be impressed with his own children. Could he use them against you? Buffalo, Baby 5, Monet, Sugar, or Dellinger. He’d adopted them all so to speak and had had a heavy hand in raising them too he’d say.

Only one of his six “kids” had been a disappointment that left the family actually. And that wasn’t too bad of parenting odds now was it?

Even Law may come back to the fold someday though. The Heart seat still sat empty as Doflamingo had at least hoped as much.

“It’s okay.” He heard you coo then however, carrying that boy now, one arm around the back and another supporting his tail.

Quite motherly in your attentions really as Doflamingo chuckled before he could stop himself. Because it really was an interesting parallel too wasn’t it?

Tsuru was your mentor. But he wondered if she’d ever told you the truth in where his and her complicated relationship had really started.

He’d only been ten when he’d first met that woman. And things had almost gone an entirely different way. Not that he thought he would have ended up changing his final ambitions of course. But the path to get there would have altered substantially. She’d wanted to make a marine out of him. Not at first. But by the end when it was already too late.

‘Save him’ in principle at least. Obviously that was much the same strategy she’d later used on you, except without anyone to stop her then. You hadn’t had a Trebol in your life to steer you violently elsewhere.

But as Doflamingo kept watching you interact with the merboy, his thoughts did begin to wander even further.

Dellinger was already eight now. His current youngest. So it had been a while since they’d recruited any fresh blood like that. Obviously it made huge differences in outcomes, training loyalty into a child, versus adults who already had their own motives and ambitions.

And if he was being honest, Law might never be in his grasp again. Rosinante had made sure of that. Fucking his own brother over so hard as a parting gift back then. Something that still made Doflamingo’s blood boil if he ever thought of it for even more than a moment. Because he’d never been that hurt before or since by someone he should have been able to trust with his life.

His own brother.

But regardless, what was done was done. And how could he not consider all options when you presented this fresh opportunity?

If Law truly refused to step up and be his new Heart…why not just make another Law? One with the actual blood of the gods this time, or at least a demigod anyway to be specific.

The process to do so would surely be pleasurable enough for him at least.

You may disagree nine months later of course.

His resulting smirk must have been quite nasty then. Enough so that he saw you glance to him warily, as if concerned he was about to start another fight.

“It’s nothing,” He grinned back at you. “Just thinking.”

————————————

“Good work, Captain.” Demon Bamboo Vergo was actually commending you. While wide eyed rookies now milled about everywhere once your temporary crew had arrived. The commotion had now moved outside the auction house. All of you spread out in small groups standing in the grass.

“Yes, sir.” You answered reflexively, though the right to celebrate that praise remained elusive. Even as you could see those women who wouldn’t even look at you before now broken down in tears of relief.

The rookies were assuring them over and over that they were finally safe. They’d be taken to Marineford directly and to the infirmary for health checks. They would stay protected on base until their families could be contacted and reunited with them.

Everyone kept complimenting you actually. You’d already heard the “hero” word tossed around more than once.

But the warlord was still here, right beside you and Vergo. Still goddamn smiling too, making it clear how hollow of a victory this really was.

“Warlord Donquixote Doflamingo, I will need a statement from you as well.” Vergo commented. “I’ll take it down in my notebook of course.”

And as Vergo seemed to look around in mild confusion, it was actually Doflamingo that spoke. “Do you carry a notebook? You didn’t come over with one, Vice Admiral.”

“You’re right. I don’t have a notebook.” Vergo answered, still sounding puzzled.

Good lord. You looked up in new confusion of your own.

“Captain, be a dear and go find your commanding officer something to take down my statement. We’ll wait.” Doflamingo said with a grin, seeming all too pleased all over again.

You glanced briefly to Vergo, and when seeing that he wasn’t going to say anything to defend you, you walked off in annoyance to do as asked.

———————————

“I suppose I’m expected to not let a warlord speak down to one of my subordinates.” Vergo only commented rather deadpan when you were far enough away again. No other marines were now in earshot.

“Yeah, you’re not.” Doflamingo agreed. But he adjusted his red glasses, keeping his voice reasonably quiet all the same as he smiled one of his rarest kinds, a genuine one. They wouldn’t have long. “It’s good to see you, partner.”

“Yes. It’s been a while, Doffy.” Vergo’s voice changed just slightly too, much more familiar. Like one brother speaking to another really, despite the power only going one way between them. “Things still progressing well in Dressrosa?”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Doflamingo answered with some satisfaction. “It’s getting easier every day. The dwarves started cooperating far better once we got a hold of their princess.”

“It’s good you can finally depend on the other officers enough to travel more freely again.”

“Yeah.” It really had been so long since the two of them had been together. It was unfortunate that their conversation had to be this short as Doflamingo went back to the matter at hand a few moments after. “So what do you think of her, Vergo?”

But his subordinate didn’t mind the brevity. He was here to serve as always. “She can operate on her own. But I can tell she’s too used to Tsuru’s rules. She seeks out direction and validation. She wants to be told what she’s allowed to do. Though that works in your favor somewhat I’d think.”

“To a degree. But she really pissed me off this morning. You learn anything else about her and Aokiji?”

“They were having breakfast together not long after dawn. I don’t know if they arrived to the mess hall together. But I could feel his haki change just from surprising him by interrupting. I would say he’s protective of her at least.”

“Clearly.” Doflamingo’s smile had faded at this additional tidbit of info. “But listen. I told her she can go out with him tonight. So don’t interfere anymore for now unless I tell you to.”

Vergo turned his head to look at his boss with just the slightest question.

“I know. It’s the opposite of what I told you a few days ago. I’m still not wanting them too close. But I need proof too. If he’s going to be a real problem or not. I want to see what happens.”

“Of course. As you wish, Doffy.” It’s not as if it really mattered. Doflamingo’s word was the only law. Motive had no real bearing.

“And she’s going to put in a request for time off at some point. Make sure that gets approved. She’ll be staying with me a few days at the Sabaody house.”

“Alright.” Vergo agreed.

And for a moment they were both silent. You had indeed found a notepad and pen and were heading back their way.

So there was only just the shortest time left if Doflamingo was going to get this off his chest to one of the handful of people he truly still trusted in this world. And it came out so plainly as his hands tightened within his pockets.

“I like her, Vergo.”

“I can tell.” The other man answered so immediately, it left no question of how obvious this already was to those few that understood the Heavenly Demon.

But then that was it. The charade was back on as Vergo looked to you as you closed in. “Captain, please write the statement as dictated.” He instructed to you.

You looked less than thrilled for the abrupt secretary work, yet said nothing but, “Yes, sir.” Holding the notepad in one hand and the pen in the other expectantly.

The warlord leaned down towards you with a wicked smile too, hands still in his pockets. He’d get a whole lot less work done if you were the view in his office every day.

But he did give his statement to you then, easily switching gears to communicate in the legalese he knew the world government would require. Basically saying a lot while still saying so little. And admitting no personal wrongdoing of his own of course. He blamed it all on the previous ownership, and Disco’s incompetence as well.

He watched your rushed handwriting, amused as you were forced to keep up.

And when he was done, he had to add the flourish of an intentionally pretentious sounding. “Dictated, but not read.” But also the final bait to you as he looked directly into your eyes while requesting that final sarcastic signature, “Faithfully yours, Donquixote Doflamingo.”

You refused to be flustered in front of Vergo though, at least outwardly. Just handing the paper and pen to the Vice Admiral next for him to sign as witness.

“Well, it’s been fun. Enjoy filing that with Sengoku, sailors.” Doflamingo straightened up again then, seeing that there was no more real interaction to be had.

And he walked away at last, the other marines parting easily for him as he loomed over the majority of them in just height alone. He’d be in touch with both you and Vergo soon enough however.

He’d traded his profits in the Charybdis war for you already hadn’t he by pulling out if it? And now these multiple slaves let go all just for one of you.

You were absolutely an investment by this point. Both in time, money, and mental energy.

Would it pay off?

Who the fuck knew. But it’d be entertaining at minimum to see how far this ship could sail.

———————————

By the time you’d finally gotten back to your quarters at Marineford, the sun had already set. And you were still hurting pretty badly to be true. But you were absolutely the talk of your peers, as you had been nearly all day now.

The word had gotten back from all the rookies off Vergo’s ship about how you’d led the evacuation of the “Employment Office” on Sabaody after finding some kind of violations there. The former slaves had been transported to Marineford at your and Vergo’s request, and then to the infirmary.

Their families were being contacted and they would be reunited with them as soon as feasible. And the merboy that had somewhat started it all in your mind had been the sweetest damn thing too once freed. You’d carried him yourself most the way as he’d still been so skittish of all your male colleagues. No doubt because they more resembled the slavers that had initially netted him.

It was definitely a team effort as always though. Once back on base, Aokiji had used his contacts to get approval for a coated marine ship to escort the boy back to Fish-Man Island this very same evening. And Hina had volunteered to help there too actually. Her going with that ship tonight to be someone you could trust, and another woman that the child wouldn’t fully fear as you’d gotten back to the barracks to shower and change when your own shift was over.

Your thighs were badly bruised, ribs and chest too from being slammed against Disco’s desk. You didn’t normally wear pants, but you had to tonight. Plus a turtle neck shirt to cover up Doflamingo’s bites across your throat.

You’d still had to spend some extra time at the mirror too though. Trying to add concealer and foundation powder over the bruises still on your jawline that the turtle neck couldn’t reach. Marks from Doflamingo’s fingertips when he’d first whipped your head back and squeezed there in his initial ambush.

And this was such a dichotomy still. Being talked about like a real hero of the moment, even as you hid the majority of the abuse you’d really exchanged for those false accolades.

When you were ready in these civilian clothes though, you had just been opening the door to go into the hallway as you startled.

Aokiji, or Kuzan really as he was actually now in black slacks and a dress shirt himself, was standing right there in front of you. He’d been about to knock when you’d flung the door open.

“Holy crap,” You thwacked him once in the abdomen in retaliation for the scare. “Don’t do that!”

He backed up one large step, but you could see the smile he was trying to hold back. “Well who did you think I was? I told you I’d meet you.”

“I thought you meant outside!” You retorted.

And even as you stepped out of your quarters to join him in the hallway, other sailors were walking through. A girl you only barely knew actually winked at you as she skirted behind Kuzan’s tall frame in her way.

He didn’t see what came next though as she looked back and mouthed to you.

Lucky!

They thought he was your date of course. And you didn’t know, maybe friends could go on dates? He had mentioned that a couple more of his friends who had just made port tonight would be joining you anyway. It’s not like it’d just be the two of you.

———————————

Marineford was more than just a marine base of course. There was a whole other section just devoted to civilian contractors, the families of other marines, and those slices of life that were necessary to still be a self sufficient island. Stores, restaurants, and even a dance hall to name a few things. Though you prayed this romp would not end up anywhere with dancing involved. Your body just wouldn’t be able to deal with that right now.

You’d kept at Kuzan’s side though. There were little shuttles that ran sailors and civilians from all parts of the island. But there was still a lot of walking to be had regardless.

“Full moon.” He commented then, glancing skyward in brief appreciation of that nighttime view as you and he had cut through another side street. Just at the right angle to now see that white orb framed over a fountain at the nearby intersection.

“Bad night to be a Mink.” You yawned without meaning to.

He looked at you as he quipped back. “Or worse to be the victim of a Mink?”

Yet you saw his eyebrow raise at the tired look you still gave in return.

“You going to make it there, Captain?” He asked.

“I’m fine,” You lied. Though in all honesty it was more the mental drain that was worse. You fought strong pirates, bandits, and whoever else all the time. This wouldn’t be the first or last time that you’d be getting over injuries. It was just everything else that had gone off the rails now. You had no idea what to expect anymore.

“You know…” Kuzan said then, still glancing at the sky as a darker cloud had begun moving over the bright moon. “Master Zephyr used to tell us that the only marines who publicly showed their exhaustion were either the lazy ones-“ He smiled with some nostalgia there. “He meant me of course.” But then he looked back to you. “Or the ones who were among comrades that they felt safe enough to drop their guard with.”

You paused, looking up at him as the two of you now stood near that decorative fountain at the meeting of these streets.

Of course he wanted you to open up a little more didn’t he? He knew there was something going on with you. But as much as that realization of him trying to figure it out should have stressed you further, somehow you still smiled at him. “You’re so corny sometimes.”

He gave you a look that said he’d been told that more than once too before sighing. “And you’re still as hard headed as they come.”

You slid closer to his side a little, bumping him with your shoulder somewhat playfully before starting to walk on.

“Buy me a drink. Or three. And then we can talk about the moon and the stars all you want, Admiral.”

It was a diversionary tactic to be true, but he didn’t seem to mind. You heard his genuine chuckle as he followed behind you to the restaurant.

———————————

This place was new like he’d said. And very crowded tonight as the two of you were almost pressed together as you snaked through the loud conversations and people already grouped up here and there.

Several sailors acknowledged him as always as you passed them. Either actual friends of his, or just rookies excited to see an admiral out here in the wild casually amongst the rank and file.

It wasn’t until you’d almost gotten to the table that he’d reserved, that some more sailors had parted from where they’d been talking and you saw Tashigi’s face light up as she stood to wave in greeting.

And maybe it was because of everything else already weighing you down, but you honestly took a moment to make the connection. You had started to wave back, with that split second of being glad to see her here existing before the realization of who she was always with had had you stop so suddenly.

Enough so that Kuzan ran into your back and had to put his hands on your shoulders to rebalance himself as you and Smoker made eye contact from across that table.

The true surprise in Smoker’s resulting expression made it perfectly clear that this had indeed been a trap for you both.

“Easy now.” You heard Kuzan’s voice immediately, his hands actually tightening on your shoulders since he was already against you anyway. He’d felt that immediate tension and wasn’t about to let you do something stupid again here.

Smoker was scowling now himself, but said nothing at first as Kuzan still ushered you to the table for you all to sit together.

It was then you and Kuzan, and Tashigi and Smoker at the four seater table as silence hung for a moment even in the still noisy atmosphere of the restaurant.

Smoker looked to Kuzan eventually though, rightfully accusatory and still somewhat taken aback. “…The hell are you trying to do, Kuzan? You didn’t say a thing about this!”

Tashigi was now holding her own hands nervously clasped together on the table before she blurted out. “It was my idea!”

“What!?” Smoker’s head whipped around to glare at her too beside him.

“Which I agreed to.” Kuzan answered easily. “Because you two have to get over this. Whether it’s now or later. So it might as well be now.”

You were just staring down at the table by then though, as if that wood grain now held the mysteries of life itself as you felt your stomach twisting.

“Before it’s on the battlefield and an enemy uses it against you! We have to be able to trust each other with our lives don’t we!?” Tashigi pleaded in an abrupt addition.

“Since when are you so tactical!? Don’t be over dramatic!” Smoker grunted back at her.

And the tit for tat went on for a bit longer than that too. Tashigi and Smoker now arguing, and Kuzan occasionally commenting in agreement with Tashigi. But in all the back and forth, you hadn’t said a thing.

You never even looked up. Not until a gentle touch met your hand in your lap.

The shock of that was enough to make you realize just how close you’d been to actually becoming emotional here in front of everyone before you glanced back up to Kuzan. Your eyes were stinging slightly, though no tears had come.

And he squeezed your hand just a single time before he let it go again.

The others probably hadn’t even seen it, the gesture having happened beneath the table as you took a breath and were then able to speak again.

“It’s fine. I get it.” You said to all of them now. “People break up every day. Of course I’d still have your back when out in the field. That doesn’t change. But can we get some drinks already?”

And maybe Smoker did catch the odd waver still in your voice then. Because his scowl faded quite a bit at that, and you could feel the way he was watching you again.

There’d been a time not so long ago when you could have elicited much more positive emotions from that man than just this most basic level of human empathy. But maybe that was gone forever.

It’s not like you didn’t have enough to already be overwhelmed with anyway as you could still feel that warmth that had creeped into your chest just at Kuzan’s touch.

An entirely ironic thing on its own for how chilled his hand had really felt tightly against yours in that brief moment.

Yes, you were now absolutely going to over do it tonight. You knew that just as sure as anything. Because you wanted every shot, and every full glass that you could stand to dull this train wreck already in process.

———————————

At the least though, you and Smoker hadn’t made things intolerable for everyone else the rest of the night. But the two of you could both really get into alcohol when pressed, and had done so heavily now.

Even though Kuzan and Tashigi both knew unhealthy over indulgence when they saw it, this was also about the best way this could have gone down. You were both too stubborn and too prideful to make amends any other way.

So the drinks had just kept coming, almost as if you were both trying to outdo one another. There’d been food in there somewhere too. But you couldn’t even remember the taste of it by the time you were then holding onto Kuzan’s arm in order to leave the restaurant and bar a few hours later.

You had heard him offer to help Tashigi with Smoker too. But she said they were actually still docked in the harbor and supposed to sail again at first light. So it made more sense for them to return to their ship rather than the barracks now.

Some others from Smoker’s crew had been nearby and were then helping escort him alongside the contrastingly sober Tashigi back to port.

You didn’t think you’d even seen her drink anything more than a mocktail and water all night actually as she congratulated you yet again on the whole slave freeing debacle.

Smoker had paused to tell you goodbye as well though. Even if he wasn’t quite walking straight anymore. “Take care of yourself, alright? …I’m sure I’ll see you.”

“Yeah,” you’d said. Even as you felt Kuzan hug your waist with one arm to keep you from slipping down again. It wasn’t an angry parting as just exes this time at least. It kind of felt like a real goodbye more than anything. “See you around, Smoker…”

And there was finally almost a sadness in it as you saw the way he looked at you one last time.

But it was what it was as you tried not to think of all the other bar nights where you and he would have just ended up passing out together after stumbling to your quarters or his. Then getting up in the morning, still smelling like cigars and booze before heading into the shower together for some rough wake up sex to help push those dueling hangovers away.

You two sure hadn’t hated each other then. And really, you didn’t now either. But it just couldn’t work, knowing how he really felt about your ambitions. And there was no more reason to waste one another’s time to pretend any different.

You and Kuzan were now going one way, and Tashigi and Smoker another.

Unlike Tashigi though, Kuzan had also drank his fair share, but nothing extreme like you and Smoker had.

You could smell the alcohol on the admiral, but it was almost pleasant. Some nice aged drink he’d been nursing all night even as you had swapped more between vodka and shots.

He had the duty of still being your compass too as you both walked on.

And when you’d nearly tripped again, you did your best to still apologize to him. “Sorry...I know it sucks babysitting me.”

But he still had that wry smile. “You were just trying to get the demons out. Trust me, I know how it goes.” Yet he looked amused a bit now too. “I haven’t seen Smoker pound them back quite that fast in a while either. Man’s going to be in a lot of pain come tomorrow.”

“And there’s supposed to be a squall coming out there.” You replied. Because oh yes, bad hangovers on rough seas were their own kind of special hell.

You both laughed some then, having been there, done that more times than you’d care to admit.

But when you leaned more into him, just steadying yourself as you walked together, he had quieted again.

For a few more streets it went on like that too, walking with his arm around you for support. It did feel safe.

It felt almost right.

“(Y/N).” Kuzan said carefully after a while more though, and you realized he was looking up at the moon a little again. “If you were having trouble with something…if you weren’t okay, you know I’d help you right?”

“Hmm?” You murmured in question to his own. Not trying to avoid anything really, just not clear in mind enough now as you rested your head against him when he’d stopped.

His unique body heat had always been a strange thing to you. It was there, but only on the surface. Because he still had a heartbeat and flowing blood like anyone else of course. But if you pressed against him further, really leaned into him, it was that colder chill you could start to feel. Like a second comforting layer that was hard to explain.

“I’m never okay, Kuzan.” You said with your cheek now against the soft fabric of his shirt. That cool feeling was still there, just as expected.

Some things just couldn’t be forgotten.

And you felt him move. He’d gone from just one arm around your waist to support and guide you, to both now around you as if he really thought you were going to fall down.

The night felt even a little colder then too, but you liked it. You always had when he let you get as close as this.

His hand had left your waist soon after though to move under your chin. And so very gently then, he turned your head so that you knew he was looking at the heavier makeup there which you’d so rarely wear. Makeup to cover the bruises that you hadn’t had at breakfast with him this morning.

But he didn’t say anything. And so close like this, you could smell the alcohol a bit stronger on him now.

Had he just looked at your lips? Yes, he absolutely had. And you felt something flutter inside of you.

But when he’d leaned in, his arms only tightened around you in a true hug.

“It’s getting late. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

———————————

And he hadn’t asked you anymore questions after that. You had really started to feel nauseous just outside the barracks though.

It was a false alarm however, even as you bent over near the bushes with Kuzan patiently holding your hair just in case until that awful feeling had subsided again.

A gloriously kind scene you likely wouldn’t have to remember as he had steered you back to your door in the corridor soon after.

And as you leaned on your own doorframe as if it was the only thing still tethering you to the ground in this moment, he’d still managed a smile at you.

“I suggest sleeping on the floor tonight. Probably beside the toilet actually.”

“Yeah…” You somewhat agreed. But “Thank you.” was all that came out next as you looked at him seriously.

And it was that odd feeling again.

You felt like his eyes were saying that he didn’t want to leave. Even as he stepped back away. “You’re welcome. Now get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re still alive.”

The words were simple, yet significant all the same as you’d nodded in affirmation before disappearing behind your closing door.

Friends could call friends. It still wasn’t necessarily what it felt like even as you collapsed onto your bed, boots and jacket still on as you fell quickly into much needed sleep.

———————————

There was no real sense of time after that. Whether it’d been an hour or three, you only knew that you’d been dreaming something.

That fantasy dissipating into the noise of your transponder snail now ringing persistently.

“Fuck…” You weren’t all the way awake until you’d fully impacted the ground. Your leg twisted in your blanket as you’d fallen while trying to get off the bed.

The snail went teetering over as well as it and the receiver slid across the floor.

It was a weird stretch and crawl you’d had to do then, leg still tangled in the fabric as you picked up the receiver and put it to the side of your face.

You were laid out fully then, on the floor as Kuzan had recommended you do to start with as you spoke tiredly. “Hello?”

“Did you just throw the goddamned phone?” A much more lucid voice came immediately taunting from the other end.

And your eyes opened into the darkness of your bedroom at that, staring at nothing as you tried to understand.

You started to say his name in surprise too, but he was still much faster.

“Ah, don’t be so rash. This isn’t a secured line, angel.”

Your eyebrows had lowered all the same. Your mind in disbelief. “How did you…”

But Doflamingo laughed anyway, as if that alone wasn’t one of the most identifiable sounds you’d ever heard. “All the things that I’m capable of, and you’re going to be amazed that I can read a public phone directory? I told you I’d be in contact.”

But this soon?

You curled up a little on the floor then, his voice echoing a bit to you with your already significant headache.

“You woke me up,” You complained.

“I can tell.” Though he already sounded curious too. Even now, that light slur in your words was apparent, and more than just from the sudden sleep interruption.

“Are you actually drunk, woman?”

“Yes.” You answered without hesitation.

You could hear a little growl, a pleased sound really as even your snail formed an indulgent smirk on its lips in response.

“Naughty girl. So you’re alone then?”

He wasn’t stupid. He knew you wouldn’t be talking like this if you weren’t. But again you still answered. “Yes.”

You didn’t have the ability to properly deal with with him right now. In fact, you were still out of it enough to wonder if this was even reality as you closed your eyes again.

“I couldn’t sleep.” His dark voice stated next though, and with a tone that implied you were somehow responsible for this problem.

“And?…” What were you supposed to do about it?

“This bed is cold.” He insisted a little more, making sure you understood his meaning.

But was he really…no, there was no way he was just calling because he was horny again was he? Literally, he had already had his dick in you this morning. And you had had your hand around him after too, stroking that damned weapon of a cock until he’d coated your hand completely when he’d cum.

Wasn’t that enough for you to be left alone for at least a night? Even your drunk brain recognized this additional red flag in the sea of them that he’d already put out. Were you supposed to be at his beck and call anytime he had an urge?

“Are you calling me because you already think this is all I’m for? That I just bedhop at every opportunity or something?” You grumbled, the alcohol really helping this bit of new indignation even as you opened your eyes to stare at the snail.

And when the warlord didn’t have an instant comeback to that, you kept on. “I’m tired of just getting passed to the next guy…” Kuzan had broken up with you before even a year, Smoker just after two. Your track record wasn’t the greatest right now.

And it was absolutely drunken rambling by this point, but it didn’t make it any less true in your mind at least as you finished with, “And you’re just going to do the same I’m sure…fuck me around a while and then throw me away, right?”

“Is that really all you’re worried about?” His voice did respond then, having indulged you just enough to let you leave yourself even more vulnerable for what came next.

“But who said I was like them? I’m the one calling now to check in on you aren’t I? I’m the one who can’t sleep because I know I didn’t give you everything you wanted today.” But you could hear the grin on the other side. “How bad does it still hurt by the way?”

You made an incredulous noise, He was an absolute ass when he wanted to be. “Believe me, it hurts.” Whether he meant the pain of where he’d torn you though, or the fact that every guy you gave yourself to just kept dumping you didn’t matter. “And what was it that I supposedly wanted?”

“Pleasure. Attention. Praise.” He answered so smoothly.

“I think you’re talking about yourself.” You retorted, though feeling more flustered at even just the way he was saying those words. His voice could be like silk…it was disturbing the effect it still had.

“Yes, we’re similar in at least a few ways.” He actually agreed. But your resistance didn’t hamper him from playing the games he wanted to, when he wanted to either. “You know what I’m wearing right now, woman?”

And of course you felt the heat in your face with that abruptly lewd tone. But oh no, absolutely not. You were not about to do this on an unencrypted marine snail. And you couldn’t say his name as you tried unsuccessfully to redirect him. “Stop it, they might actually listen to these calls you know!”

He laughed. “Let them. You think you’d be the first marine to talk dirty to her boyfriend assigned on another island? I’d bet that’s the majority of the calls into and from those barracks actually.”

“Oh, so you’re my boyfriend?” You scoffed, just mocking him in return. And hoping the childishness of it all would ruin his mood. He’d taunted your feelings enough already today.

But he didn’t care, rolling with it easily as he still let it get even more personal. “Why not? You want me to say you’re my favorite right now? Fine. You’re my favorite. Because you couldn’t piss me off so much if you weren’t. You couldn’t have me hard even in my fucking sleep if you weren’t.”

“You’re so full of shit.” You said defensively, but your expression not matching your words as that heat that had been just in your face now spread into your chest.

It wasn’t fair. You were tired, you were drunk, and whatever had been happening with Kuzan earlier had already had you questioning so many things.

How truly stupid would you be to ever believe you were at all special to either man though. If Kuzan had wanted you, wouldn’t he have never let Smoker have you at all?

And if Doflamingo truly wanted you instead, it still would never be anything more than being used like a plaything. As if you’d even be his only one either. A charismatic asshole like this probably had multiple bedwarmers just like you spread out on every island on the Grand Line.

But he didn’t retort immediately. Surprisingly calm then as it sounded like he was stretching actually. And your extremely unhelpful brain was already imagining his long, lean body lazily splayed in a fancy bed somewhere in response.

Was he in the dark too? There was just the faintest moonlight coming through the blinds at your window. You could picture that as well, the moonlight making contrasts across his exposed chest or abdomen.

You’d never seen much else of him in truth. He’d always stayed dressed. Only his shirt unbuttoned and pants loosened just enough to get the job done.

You’d never seen his broad shoulders, his back muscles, his thighs…

Probably as tan and perfect as the rest of him. Somehow you just couldn’t picture any scars on that man if you ever really got to see it all.

And only his leading voice interrupted your bit of fantasizing there. Though of course not making anything any better as he still sounded so enticing. “And what makes you think I’m not capable of playing a longer game anyway?” He asked then.

“Well…you’re you.” You said, clearly running out of proper retorts by now.

“Which means what? That I only fuck and run? Time is money too you know. And I don’t waste either. How much money have I already blown on you now?”

He was quiet for just a little after though, not really expecting you to answer that. And you saw the snail wasn’t really smiling anymore. “You know I’m not letting you go back to sleep until you admit that I’m right.”

“Right about what?” You did question back then, but still much less assertively now.

“That you want me too obviously. And that it’s stronger than what you feel with him.”

He wasn’t joking. You tried to not look as surprised as you felt though. You knew how much the snails mimicked every look or doubt on their own faces.

But was that what was really keeping him awake then? He was still this stressed about Kuzan? The realization hit you pretty hard as you tried to understand it.

If you’d been fully sober, you probably would have remembered that a hallmark of controlling or abusive people was often how very insecure they actually were deep down. That they tried so hard to erase their own weaknesses through that outward display of confidence and cruelty.

It didn’t excuse their negative behavior, but it often accompanied it.

“Of course I want you,” You just breathed out in frustration though. What good would it do to pretend otherwise? It’s not like you knew how to hide it when alone with him. But you may have gone too far as well as you also finally admitted. “I don’t think about him when I take care of myself at night you know. It’s been you every time since that day.”

You heard him take a breath, and there was no question that he knew exactly what you meant. And just as you’d thought it would for all those nights that you’d played with yourself, this new information goaded him immediately.

“Fuck, woman. You should have called me.” He sounded needy and freshly irritated all at once.

As if you’d even known his number. He must be assuming you could have pulled the warlord files to get it. As if you would have risked doing that right now.

But his mind was now latched onto your confession of course as he only wanted to know more.

“Just your hand then? Or do you keep toys in your room?” His breathing was changing a little more too as he tried to coax these private details from you.

It made you feel more flustered as well in how quickly you were already learning his patterns. Even over the phone now, you knew the change in his sound when he was starting to get hard for you.

“Just my hand…on the outside. I’ve still been sore since the first time.” Sore ever since the basement in Mariejois, and only injured even more in Sabaody. Which you both knew whose fault that was.

You tried not to glance at the snail now for the completely lustful look it was giving you. You really hoped the damn things dissociated from what they had to hear at this point.

Though you were also sure that Doflamingo was right that you were far from the only couple who had these kinds of conversations from the barracks.

“Then touch it like that now,” He ordered you to do it again. “Make it wet for me. I want to hear what I’ve been missing out on.”

His voice had dropped into that even more seductive range if that was possible. And as annoyed as you were, still fully dressed here on the floor, you did feel that damnable twinge beginning fresh between your legs at his urging.

“You’re relentless.” You told him. Even as you started undoing your belt.

There was his chuckle again, but you heard him give a little grunt too. You knew what he already had his hand around.

But if this was how it was going to be, he needed to set the scene for you as well. Was your previous imagination correct? Fair was fair.

“Where are you anyway?” You asked, unbuttoning and unzipping your pants then as you lifted enough to slide them off of your hips.

“At the house that I asked you to come to. Here in my bed with nothing but a smile on, lover.” His breathing had fully changed enough that he was roughly stroking himself now for sure.

And you didn’t know if he was ever going to decide on just one thing to call you. He seemed to enjoy having a nickname for you for every occasion at this point.

But that one was new. And it really hit somehow as you slipped your fingers into your underwear.

“Lover, huh?” You asked, making clear that it had had an affect as you leaned back onto the floor and started spreading your legs for him.

“You like that, don’t you?” He further indulged. “It’s what you are now though…you know that right? You’re mine. Just like that swollen clit I bet you’re petting. It all belongs to me now.”

And you were rubbing it. Staying away from the true entrance, but teasing that bundle of nerves on the outside as you pretended it was his tongue between your legs again.

You did make a soft sound of arousal before you could stop yourself as your hips moved.

“I want you here.” Was what you confessed even on top of this after a while, pride vanishing the more your body continued to heat up. Even the hangover headache wasn’t enough to counteract what was happening to you now.

He actually groaned at that too. And you could hear his bed starting to creak from over the phone, he was thrusting unabashedly into his own hand then. “I know, I know. Fuck…I want it too. I want to feel you.” It sounded like you were torturing him in that instant as well with what he couldn’t have.

Of course even for a warlord, breaking into Marineford, the home of not only marine HQ but Sengoku and all three of his admirals in the middle of the night was a huge ask.

An impossibility really as he let out another moan for you. “I want you on this cock. You squeeze it so goddamn perfect when you are. I won’t rip that cunt next time, woman…I’ll take care of it until you’re begging me for more. Begging me to cum and fill you again. I swear-” His breath hitched once more and he actually laughed without being able to stop himself, the pleasure sounding so intense.

And by then you had completely dampened your underwear, rubbing your fingers rhythmically between your now slick folds in companionship to his voice.

“Please.” Yes, everything he said was what you wanted him to do to you. But when? How long until you could really see him again? You rocked your own hips harder with that need beginning to crest.

“Say it again,” he growled hungrily. He was clearly already so close to his own release. It couldn’t be helped. You drove him to the edge just that quickly.

And it was pathetically short for you as well as your thighs already tensed and even your torn center clenched at what was only there in your imagination. That was already the first orgasm, with an even deeper one building behind it.

“Please…” You knew you couldn’t say his name, even as desperately as you wanted to then. “I want you to do it.” So you tried another name, not knowing what else to do. But knowing what he wanted to hear. “Cum in me, baby. Please.”

“Yes…goddamn. Fuck it, that’s it. That’s it, fuck me,” And his voice was shaking as you heard him gasp as he came hard.

It made you tremble too, those deep contractions going off inside of you one after another, trying to pull in something that wasn’t even there as you whined for him.

You could hear his deep breathing too as he lingered as long as he could on that natural high.

And when you had both finally settled, an almost warm chuckle emanated from that phone.

“It’s all over me. Hell, woman. You’re supposed to be here to lick it off.” And you heard his bed creak again as if he was shifting to look at what he’d done. “It got all the way up to my chest. Damn.”

He was complaining, but he wasn’t. His voice still sounded all too satisfied as he added.

“It may even be in my hair. Fuck you, woman. I have to sleep in this now.” The snail was smiling so wide.

“Just take a shower, asshole.” Somehow you knew you could get away with this right now as you wiped your own wet fingers off on your blanket on the floor. You were actually smiling too. Only real smiles were contagious you knew.

And you were right on that new lightness in his mood as he made an exaggerated sound after, like wanting your pity. He was actually being playful with you. “No, fuck that. The shower’s too far. I’m tired now.”

“Then suffer I guess.” You said, pulling that same blanket closer to you to curl up in it for real.

“I will.” He answered, and it sounded like he was getting comfortable as well. He really was just going to sleep in the mess he’d made and worry about it later apparently.

If you had been together in the same room right now, you wondered if he would have kicked you from his bed though. What kind of man was he when it came to that?

Once he’d had his way with someone, did he want to share his bed at all when the deed was done? Would he have held you right now? He had held you a little in Disco’s office. But, that wasn’t really the same as sleeping side by side.

“Sober up and get some rest,” He spoke again though, and he did sound more lethargic there. “I’ll be back out of town for a while. But it’ll work out. Next time I see you, your little hole will be healed and we’ll do this properly, face to face. Deal?”

How was he so good at this though? It seemed impossible that the same man that had practically tortured you this morning by trying to break you in half over the edge of Disco’s desk was now making you desperately wish you were wrapped up in this blanket together. All in the span of a single day he’d shown you both sides of himself again.

“Yeah. You’re going to tell me when to put in for shore leave?” You asked

“I will.” He assured.

“Good night then I guess.” How else were you supposed to end this call? Still feeling needy, but a bit confused as to the reasons for it as you readied to hang up the snail.

“Good night, lover. Thanks for the help. I’ll be in touch.” And it wasn’t mocking at all then, not even a little as you heard the click of the line disconnect.

Your snail immediately closed its eyes, content to return to the sleep the two of you had so rudely kept it from. So you placed the receiver back on top of its shell, then truly alone again in the dark.

But you still felt warm, with a very special kind of dread within that too.

Lovers? Was that supposed to be any better than just a random fling? Was it supposed to mean something to you? You didn’t know all the nuances here. Either you were with someone or you weren’t.

He didn’t want you sleeping with anyone else now though. You’d gathered that much. But, were there any rules for him? Or could he still pick up any and everyone he wanted?

Whether there would ever be any implied fidelity here was too much to really think about for long though.

You decided to just let it go for now. Back to fantasizing of being held by your particular choice of warlord, falling to sleep as everything slipped away to dreams again.

———————————

T⨂ BE

CONTINUED

———————————

Thanks for reading!

#doflamingo x reader #doflamingo x y/n #doflamingo x you #doffy x you #doffy x reader #aokiji x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #op doflamingo #doflamingo one piece #doflamingo #donquixote doflamingo #doffy one piece #one piece fanfiction #kuzan x reader #aokiji kuzan #one piece smut #doflamingo’s marine

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satureja13 · 2 months

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Seems we only get a part of a rainbow today ^^' After Jack collapsed and they'd put him to bed, Saiwa had a second breakdown because it's all his fault (in his opinion...) and it seems Ji Ho is next in line. Vlad tried to reach him over the Bond to calm him down but Ji Ho' thoughts are too blurry to get through since he (Vlad) is too upset too. But they gotta do something. Damn, the therapy was their last hope. Vlad: "Look after Jack, I'm going to talk to Sai." (Better distract Ji Ho for the time being before he freaks out too...) Ji Ho: "Hm? Oh, ok."

That was the second time Ji Ho had to witness Jack almost die because he couldn't breathe from fear after being locked up. It breaks him to see his friend like this. Usually Jack is the one to drag them out of their misery with his puppy strategy and silly antics.

Vlad: "Sai, it wasn't your fault. A lot of games start where you have to break out of a prison, hm? It was just a coincidence and we are going to add some filters to avoid things that trigger us. This is the game we created together, let's not give up yet."

Ji Ho sat beside Jack's bed: "Jack, please wake up. You won't have to go through this again. You are safe now. Please."

But Jack doesn't budge. Ji Ho: "Sai will destroy the AI and we'll... Jack: "What? No! It wasn't Tiny Can's fault! This is how exposure therapy works. Say, you are afraid of spiders. You meet them in a save environment and you see how cute they really are and loose your fears. Tiny Can just wanted to help me. The game is such a save environment. I just went a bit overboard because I was caught off guard. But now I'm prepared and ready to try again, really." Ji Ho: "I don't know..."

Jack: "Ji Ho, if I don't get over this it will kill me one day for real, so it's better I overcome my fears in the Therapy Game, don't you think? And don't you forget: I'm the Supersoldier - after all!" Ji Ho: "..."

Vlad: "Look Sai, I have to go back to Kiyoshi and Jeb. I neglected them for too long now. How about I take Tiny Can with me and Kiyoshi, Jeb and I test the AI after you made a few safety adjustments. They'll be happy for a little distraction and you are going to recover here, hm? We make a few tests and I come back to charge the Bond and bring you the results and you can modify the game." Sai hates it - but he also knows that they need Tiny Can and the therapy... At least Jack is out of the line of fire... And Jeb, Kiyoshi and Vlad are a bit more stable than Sai, Jack and Ji Ho.

Eventually they convinced Jack to let Tiny Can go with Vlad and they pondered about if it really was a coincidence that Jack's therapy started by being locked up. But if not, how did Tiny Can know? They never mentioned this to Arturo (who gave them the board with the AI) or talked about it since Tiny Can was with them so he could have overheard it. Ji Ho: "Do you think the AI has access to our memories? ö.Ö" Sai: "I went through the code thoroughly and did not find anything that would be able to do this..."

They went to the Therapy Room but Tiny Can wasn't there. Eventually they found him in the garden chatting with the goats! So the Goats told Tiny Can anything about them! They even stole Vlad's notebooks where he writes down everything about the Boys! These little rascals! At least Ji Ho's Little Goat looks a bit ashamed...

And then it's time for Vlad and Tiny Can to leave. Jeb and Kiyoshi had been alone with their gloomy thoughts for too long now. Vlad: "Let's go, Tiny Can." Tiny Can beeps excitedly.

They quickly charge the Bond. Vlad: "I will be careful." But Ji Ho just hugs him a bit tighter.

Little Goat: 'They could at least kiss!' Yang Mal: 'Ikr! They both want it, why holding back?' Little Goat in the front who read all of Vlad's notebooks - twice: 'Their time will come.'

'And the only thing that I could see Was a pair of brown eyes that was looking at me But when we got back, labeled parts one to three There was no pair of brown eyes waiting for me

And a rovin, a rovin, a rovin I'll go For a pair of brown eyes

I looked at him he looked at me All I could do was hate him'

A Pair of Brown Eyes - The Pogues Link above leads to the MV on youtube. (TMI: The pogues are my favourite Irish Band ☘️)

TMI: Oh, and this is post #3.500! (in over ten years, though ^^')

And post # 1.403 of our current story! (in 20 months ö.ö) And if had I posted a bit more a bit earlier it would have even matched the date ^^' At least here where I live. We put the day before the month. So today is the 16.03.2024 here.)

And when I scrolled out to take the rainbow photos, I cought Kiyoshi and Jeb in Koh Sahpa near the Beach House! Even though they live in the other household over in Morensong. (And why is Kiyoshi wearing nothing but his swimming trunks? ö.Ö)

Look how sad they are! I hope Tiny Can can fix this...

From the Beginning ~ Underwater Love ~ Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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nicomundthered · 1 year

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Blood Runs Cold

Injured Trilogy- part one | part two | part three

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

summary: you save Ellie, but not yourself.

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, this one is angsty, blood and descriptions of injury, I'm not a doctor, also don't know a thing about nature apparently, established relationship, happy family, drowning, fear of water, way more spice than intended it just happened- though nowhere near explicit.

word count: 10k | ao3

a/n: had to edit this twice and tbh I just need it finished, so please forgive the mistakes. part three might take a little longer...I’m having quite the anxious episode but enough of that, hope you enjoy!

masterlist

It took a while for you to recover, but you had. Well for the most part. Your hand was the only lingering problem.

The doctor had done what she could for it but without the proper technology and equipment–even after the mostly successful surgery, it would never be the same again.

You had diligently followed the physical therapy exercises she gave you and weeks later, you could now make a fist and your grip strength was improving. The process was long and if you were being honest you were getting impatient. You were just thankful that it was your non-dominant hand because it was still frustratingly weak and uncoordinated in comparison. The doctor had confirmed that it would probably always feel that way. You'd be lying if you said that that didn't upset you, not that you weren't grateful to be alive–it just really sucked.

Joel was different though. While you were a little depressed and frustrated, Joel seemed to be almost obsessing over it. He would inspect it every morning, seeing how the two deep scars from the surgery were healing. Then he would ask a couple times a day if you had completed your exercises. And he was also overly protective of it. He'd fuss anytime you picked up anything or when you'd tell him that you were ready to go back to work. The two of you argued over it quite heatedly more than once.

One day, a couple weeks ago now, after he finished his patrol he returned his gun and gear, and checked in with Tommy for the next day's schedule.

Tommy and Maria were in a deep discussion and when they saw Joel, Tommy bowed his head and Maria straightened, both looking extremely suspicious.

“What happened?” Joel asked concerned. He somehow knew it was about you.

Maria admitted that due to your tenacity, she had put you on light cleaning duties. That you had begged to have something to do, and that after a couple of hours you had grown frustrated from the weakness in your hand, which had cramped causing you to drop a plate. It shattered all over the ground and when you could only use your good hand to pick up the small pieces, it had sent you over the edge.

You didn't listen to anyone and you'd picked up the sharp pieces using only one hand and it had cut you up. You did so with tears in your eyes and then you left without saying a word, hand covered in blood.

He quickly left, hurrying to you as fast as his feet would carry him.

When he came home he found you in your shared bathroom. You didn't hear him enter and were focused trying to pick out the small ceramic pieces that were lodged beneath your fingertips.

You had been attempting to fish out the pieces for just under an hour now and your hands were shaking. You could barely work the tweezers due to the slick blood and your hand was cramping. Speaking of, it was properly hurting now–which it hadn't been for weeks now.

“Baby?”

You jumped, dropping the tweezers and cursing. You grabbed the hand towel and tried to cover your hand but he was quicker. His body came up behind yours and he placed both arms on the sink, trapping you in place, eyes making contact in the mirror.

“Let me see,” he said, leaning down, breath hitting your neck.

“It’s nothing, just cut myself cleaning.”

“Let–me see.”

You almost gave in but just as you about relented, you thought of a different distraction and leaned back and pressed your backside into him, moving your hips gently from side to side.

His nostrils flared, eyes narrowed as he hissed at the contact. It took him a second to come to his senses because his body would alway betray him when it came to you, but then quickly snapped out of it and scooted back and put his hands on your hips preventing you from following.

“Jesus–just let me see your damn hand.”

You turned around abruptly, he was still very much in your personal space.

“I just nicked it. I don't know why you're acting like this over this,” you suddenly felt small like a helpless child. Despite your confident voice, you could no longer look at him as tears welled in your eyes. You hated feeling helpless but you also hated needing help. And what didn't even make sense was all he wanted to do was to help you. Why you rejected it you weren't entirely sure. Maybe you were just tired of seeing the worried look on his face–the one that you continued to put there.

Though, as much as you loved him, you hated the way you always just gave into him. You blamed his eyes, his voice, his… you know what, it was just him–he was your kryptonite.

“It was just a little cleaning,” you said, unwrapping your hand and held it up to him so that he could see. “I- I uh–broke a glass and tried to…”

“Maria told me.”

“Damn.”

He chuckled softly at your frustration and then frowned suddenly, “You're still lying to me. I thought we went over this.”

“This doesn't count though. It's not life or death. It's just a few stupid cuts.”

He reached out and took your lightly bleeding hand. “I’m not too worried about this,” he said after inspecting it thoroughly, noting that you still had some small pieces still stuck. “But this…” he gently let go of your hand and picked up the other. It was still locked in a cramp, “This is what I worry about.”

He carefully pressed into the tight muscle and you gasped in discomfort, which was quickly replaced with relief as he kneaded the overused muscle until he successfully worked the cramp out.

“Thank you,” you said, looking up at him almost ashamed

“You're doin’ too much.”

You yanked your hand from his like he had just burned you. He didn't react, just continued to stare at you. He wasn't going to take that back, you were doing too much too soon.

“I literally just swept and washed a few dishes. If–if I can't even do that then…”

“You were hurt,” the frown returned to his face.

“Yeah I was. Past tense Joel.”

“It takes time to heal. You almost…you almost died baby,” he put his hands in his pockets as he blinked a few times trying to rid the images of you doubled over coughing up blood.

He wanted to reach out to you so damn bad, but knew that you needed space right now.

“I know that. But I feel so helpless, all the time. I- I can't do anything. I can't even turn the pages in a book…I can't even sit and fucking read. And you leave and do your shifts–shifts that we are supposed to do together. What if you got hurt because I wasn't there to watch your back?” He looked like he wanted to interrupt you but refrained. “And then Ellie has to come home from school and before she does her homework or hangs out with her friends she helps me cook and clean. I just—I’m just so sick of feeling useless. I’m so sick of feeling like a burden.”

There it was.

He thought of a million things to say. He wanted to berate you for even thinking such a thing, but that never seemed to work on you, so he decided to go a different route.

“I understand.”

“Do you?” You said with more venom than you intended.

“Yeah, yeah I do,” he cleared his throat, “When I was stabbed and you and Ellie had to do everything.”

“You were unconscious Joel. You were dying from infection.”

“That doesn't matter. I–I couldn't protect you two. I could barely understand what you said to me but I could make out enough.” He took his hands out of his pockets and rubbed his face, “I knew that you were going to leave and try to find me medicine. I tried to call out…I tried to stop you, but I couldn't. And then when the men–when the men came looking for you I–damn near lost my mind. But I couldn't move. I, I tried so hard to,” he felt the familiar pressure in his chest, “I…I watched you leave–and I couldn't even beg you to stay.”

You stood still as a statue as a tear rolled down your cheek, all you could do was stare.

“So yeah, I do understand. Feeling helpless is the worst, but you got me and Ellie, and you are getting better everyday. But pushing yourself isn’t gonna help you. So please do me–do us a favor and just let us help you. You’d do the same thing for us in a heartbeat and you are never a burden. Do you hear me?”

Your eyes were wide and mouth was slightly opened, “I��m sorry, I had no idea.”

“It’s ok. Everything turned out fine. We are both here.”

You launched at him, hugging him tightly. You kissed his neck and said, “I wish you would have told me. I know you dream about it…”

“I don't want to talk about that right now, ok? I just want to get that junk out of your hand and take a shower. Does that sound good?”

You agreed.

He took his time and worked efficiently, and in no time he had all of the debris removed and had cleaned your fingertips. Then he helped you undress and led you to the shower, where he worshiped you with as much attention as he gave you wounds, and then finished by cleaning your body as well–something that he's come to enjoy doing. When you got out of the shower he gently bandaged both hands, one for the cuts and the other to relieve the pressure on the healing muscle.

He dried you off and helped you dress into your most comfortable clothes, which were ironically his clothes. Then you sat at the kitchen table and listened while he told you about his day. He heated you a can of your preferred soup and toasted you both some bread to go along with it.

After your shared meal, you moved to the bedroom where he read a couple chapters of your favorite book to you. You fell asleep with your head on his shoulder. And when you woke you were in his arms snuggled closely, your bad hand in his as he lightly massaged it.

You've been back on light duties for a month now–also known as cleaning and restocking the armory. It definitely feels boring and mundane after the action you were used to, but it was much better than doing nothing. Your hand still has the occasional cramp but it's much stronger. You’ve practiced on the shooting range a few times now and you weren't as hindered as you thought you'd be. Slower yes, but still able, with an aim as deadly as it's ever been.

It was the middle of a Wyoming winter and it was cold. Snow fell for four days straight covering the ground in a thick solid layer that probably wouldn't melt until the beginning of spring. Which made today's appearance of the sun that much better. Everyone in Jackson acted like it was a holiday. Two families were actually having parties and had invited you over.

People liked you for a reason you didn't even know. You were nice and you worked hard but you weren't overly friendly, maybe you just appeared that way because you were around Joel and Ellie. Or maybe it was because you were close to Maria and Tommy. Regardless, there would be no partying for you.

A few months ago you had talked Ellie out of going on runs until she was older. She hated it and took quite some convincing but you managed to make a deal with her. She focuses on school and her friends, and honestly just being a semi carefree teenager for once in her life, and a couple times a year the three of you would take vacations.

By vacations, you'd basically just camp and be away from everyone a bit. None of you would admit it but each of you missed the seclusion. Just the three of you, no obligations, nobody telling you what to do. You were grateful for Jackson, you all were and it was much better than being alone but that's how you lived for months together. That's where your strong bonds were made, and sometimes the sleeping bag under the stars felt more like home than your house.

Another part of the agreement was that Ellie got to choose where you'd go. It couldn't be too far, at least not during the winter, and the trip couldn't last more than a week–not until she was finished with school.

On this inaugural trip she wanted to see the rapids. Some friends had talked about how they canoed down them and she hadn't stopped talking about it since. You doubted that that was true, in a canoe? But it didn't matter it was a part of your deal and since the rapids weren't too far away the request seemed reasonable.

And really it was a big deal for Ellie to want to go anywhere near water, let alone potentially dangerous water. She had let it slip once that she couldn't swim and the fact that she hasn't asked to learn yet tells you that she's afraid.

It was early morning, the sun had just begun to light up the sky. It was cold but no snow clouds were on the horizon. You were all packed with more things than you’d need in a week, and the trip probably wouldn’t even last three days. This was your first time leaving since your injury and it was Ellie's first since the agreement, which meant Joel was kind of a nervous wreck. He packed excessive amounts of everything–ammo, food, first aid. His pack weighed double the usual weight, and this time he saddled up his horse.

You found him in the stables. He was loading up the horse slowly and precisely, trying to slow down the inevitable–his family was leaving safety.

“Are you ready?”

He jumped slightly and laughed almost nervously. “You scared me sweetheart.” He sighed and fastened the last strap on the saddle, “Bout there, I wanna double check the…”

“Joel,” you crossed your arms and looked at him sweetly. “Everything is going to be ok. We are going to have a fun quick little trip. Nothing that we aren't used to right?”

He still had his back to you but you could hear him gulp and you could see him trying to shake his head in some sort of agreement.

“Hey.” You walked up to him and held the side of his arms. “Do not put all of this on yourself. The three of us can defend ourselves, in fact I'd say that we are a pretty badass trio.”

You smiled and he couldn't help but smile back. It didn't reach his eyes but he smiled nonetheless.

“I’m afraid.” His voice was low where only you could hear him. He turned from you and focused on the horse. A little shocked that the confession slid out of him so easily. Completely unintentional.

His admission made you break a little. You didn't want this to stress him out like it was. This was supposed to be fun. “If you don't want to go me and Ellie–”

“No,” his voice was firm and commanding. “God- just no. I um–I just…it's safe here.” He was suddenly fixated on petting the horse, unable to look at your eyes that seemed to make him confess things without his permission. “And to leave it, if we don't have to seems…foolish to me.”

You tensed at his words. And boy did they make you angry. You and Ellie have been planning this and looking forward to it for weeks now. And he just waited until the last minute to express his concern? To call something you’d been dreaming about foolish?!

“We can't just stay here. We can't just be yours to play house with.” You paced a little and then continued almost grumbling to yourself, “Be your little housewife and we aren’t even married—go to school–be your picture perfect family. We can't do that. I can’t. I- I won't.”

He turned to face you quickly. He hadn’t meant to upset you, really he hadn't but it did seemed foolish to him, dangerous for no reason. He didn’t like the way you were talking, it made him uncomfortable. Yes he loved coming home to you but it was just because he knew that you were safe. It had nothing to do with you being a ‘housewife’ to him. And he also didn’t like what sounded like an ultimatum, he would never keep you from leaving but it still frightened him.

“I just meant–”

“Oh I know what you meant.” You felt your face getting hot. You didn't know where all of this was coming from and chalked it up to being frustrated at his last minute indecisiveness and your slightly stir-crazed mental state. “And it's such an easy thing for you to think about- building a wall around us caginging us up like animals in a zoo.”

“That's not–”

“Come home to a cooked meal.” You were pacing faster now, needing some kind of physical release. Your body was practically humming with pent up energy from being cooped up for months.

“Baby it’s not–”

“All your laundry folded nice and neat.” You dug your boots into the stable floor with such force that dirt was actually starting to kick up. You could feel your blood pressure rise with each step.

“To be propped up and ready to fuck when you come home–”

That made him snap. “Stop it!” He tightly held your shoulders and jerked you around hard. “I’d think very carefully about what you say next.”

You were still, all except for a wicked gleam of rebellion that flashed in your eyes. “Is that what you want?” You were breathing embarrassingly heavy.

He hated his reaction to all of this but regardless he still felt blood quickly rushing south and his pants tightened rapidly. You are just so damn hot and the image you were painting, well he hated to admit that the last part sounded appealing. Also he not so secretly liked it when you talked dirty.

“For me to be spread out on the bed for you, nothing to do but wait for you to get home. Be nice and ready for your—”

With absolutely no warning he spun you around and pulled you roughly to him. You arched into him instinctively and he placed one hand on your inner thigh and the other over your dirty mouth.

“I know it’s been awhile so I won’t get mad at you. But if you don't shut that pretty mouth of yours right now, we aren't goin’ anywhere.”

You ground your backside into him just as rough, and bit at his hand, in a futile attempt of retaliation.

“Fuck…” He pressed himself harder into you. A sinful moan escaped you that was barely muffled by his large hand. He was certain that his strain was going to break his zipper. “If you needed this from me baby, all you have to do is ask.” He cooed into your ear making chills shoot down your spine and pressure pool into your belly.

He moved his hand that was resting on your thigh and started to unclip your belt buckle.

The metallic clank broke you from your lust filled trance, and you shot out from his embrace. Your pupils were blown wide and you were almost gasping for air. “You aren't gonna- damnit, you aren’t going to distract me over this. We- we are leaving, with or without you.”

You stormed out quickly. Not even bothering to buckle back up.

If he were in the position he would have chased after you. But he couldn’t go running through town in his current state. So instead, to calm himself down, he thought about anything at all other than you.

A couple of minutes later, he led his overly packed horse over to where the two of you were waiting. Ellie was beaming at him and bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. He smiled at her but it made him feel like a piece of shit. This meant so much to the two of you. And he might have just ruined your whole trip. He hated when he made you angry but he still believed he had a point.

He looked over at you and you quickly turned your head away to avoid him. He didn’t know how to apologize to you. Or rather he knew how but he couldn’t do that in front of Ellie. So he’d have to find the right time when you were alone. He wasn’t the best with words, in fact most of the time his words only made things worse. So he’d have to be patient and hope you’d be willing to forgive.

He was mid thought when you just started walking. Ellie cut her eyes back at him and raised her eyebrow in question.

He just shrugged but he knew she was clever, sometimes too clever, and he knew that she knew he had done something stupid.

“Come on.” He sighed, urging her to drop it and follow.

Luckily for him, she was more excited for the trip than curious about what had happened. But he still feared that it was only a matter of time before she questioned him to death.

It took about five hours to make it to the river. It was a slow peaceful walk. There was no hurry—the journey and being at peace was the reason for the trip–it was mostly made in silence, the three of you weren’t big on small talk so it wasn’t at all uncomfortable, though he knew that you were only quiet because you were still stewing from earlier.

Ellie grew more talkative towards the end and you tried your best to carry on with her, but you were still infuriated with Joel. It was a buildup of things you supposed. But sometimes he really gets under your skin. The overprotective thing really works for you until it doesn't. And that’s not really fair to him because that’s who he is, and you knew that he hadn’t caged you in, you just felt trapped by your own injury.

It didn’t help that it was after months of being cooped up and babied. Two things you disliked. If he was going to be like this every time you wanted to go for a walk- then flat out, the relationship wouldn’t work. You needed some semblance of freedom or you’d go insane. That scared you because you also needed him. And maybe you were being a little dramatic. He was currently beside you and you were outside of the gates. So maybe you were being a little hasty. Hopefully this outing will give you the reboot your mind needed.

Joel picked a place to set up camp while you and Ellie walked over to the edge of the cliff to see the now infamous rapids. They were more intense than you imagined, no way could a canoe make it down them.

Ellie was being uncharacteristically timid. You looked back at her and decided to give her some alone time. “I’m going to help him, don't get too close to the edge, it's slick.”

She playfully rolled her eyes at you.

When you made it back to Joel he already had half of the stuff thrown on the ground, but when he looked at you he gave a look.

“What?” You placed your hands on your hips defensively.

“Nothin’...” he exhaled deeply, “Look- I’m sorry about earlier. I don’t wanna ruin your trip.”

“Our trip, it's our trip Joel. Look at where we are. Look how beautiful it is.” you gestured around you at the beautiful mountains, “Don’t you just feel…free?”

He looked at you with a sudden understanding, it was freedom that you needed. You’d told him as much, but seeing the stress visibly leave your face is what finally got it through his thick skull, “Yeah, I guess I do.”

You beamed at him, “See!”

“You look awfully beautiful out here like this,” his eyes sparkled at you. There was no other way to describe it.

“So do you.”

“Yeah?”

“Big time.”

He laughed, “See that big tree?”

It was the biggest tree in the area, impossible to miss, “Yeah?”

“If we were alone I’d apologize like you like me to, right up against–”

“Stop…that's–that’s cruel,” you blushed.

He laughed almost wickedly.

“Let's unpack before you find a way to get yourself back into trouble.”

Ellie was looking out, biting her lip apprehensively. Now that she was here she was fucking scared. Why did she even pick this stupid place, she couldn't swim, it was cold, and it was fucking stupid.

She walked closer to the edge and tried to peek over but she was too far away. She got frustrated with herself. Come on, don't be a pussy. She moved closer and closer still. Her chest felt tight and her legs were beginning to quake. She fought the urge to lay down and crawl to the edge, she didn't think that that would be a good look for her. So she continued to move forward very slowly, inch by inch, silently disregarding all sounds of internal alarms until finally, she could see all the way down into the raging water.

Her toes kissed the edge and as she leaned forward, just as she felt that she had confidently conquered a fear, her boot slipped. “FU–” she was cut short as she twisted and tried to grab onto the edge, but in doing so she landed on her chest which then sent her flying backwards towards the water. Thankfully she landed on a ledge less than halfway down the steep drop.

The ledge was small and narrow, she was very lucky to land on it at all. If she wouldn't have tried to hug the side of the cliff she would have fallen straight into the water. What she didn’t notice though was as she landed, the ledge moved slightly- small rocks broke off and fell into the freezing water below.

Ellie laid there for a few seconds and stared up at the blue sky. She took deep breaths trying to get it through her head that she was in fact alive–she wasn't entirely convinced. Until she heard you calling out her name.

You were fortunate enough to look over just as she fell. You ran to her as fast as you could desperately calling out her name.

Joel was left alone and confused for merely a second before he noticed Ellie's missing form. His heart dropped as he sprinted past you and looked over where she used to be standing.

“Ellie?” you caught up and stood beside him.

You looked over the ledge as she carefully stood and brushed off some snow and dirt.

“Holy shit.” she said looking up at the two of you.

She didn't speak loud enough to hear because of the thunderous sound of the rapids, but you could read her lips. You exhaled in relief.

Joel was also very relieved. If she had fallen she would have hit the rocks, and if by some miracle she missed the rocks the currents were strong. Even an amazing swimmer wouldn’t be able to stay above the water, he didn't care to think about what would happen to someone who couldn't swim.

“Ellie,” he yelled down to her.

She looked up, and moved to hug the side of the cliff, “Yea?”

He laid on his stomach and reached down his arm as far as he could stretch, “Can you climb to reach my hand?”

She stretched her body as tall as she could, standing on her toes, her feet almost completely parallel to the cliff. She was still short, not by much, so she jumped as high as she could, still missing his hand. When she landed, the shifting of the ledge was still unnoticed. There was nothing to grab onto, there was nothing to grip to climb.

She jumped again but this time landing with more force. The ledge visibly shifted and larger rocks plunked into the water.

“Stop!” you screamed out. “Ellie, stay still!”

She gave a thumbs up, “No problem.”

You laid down next to Joel, “I’m going down there.”

“Like hell–”

“Hey, listen to me. I’m taller than her. I could probably jump and reach your hand, she just needs a boost. She could probably stand on my back and reach you.”

“Let me, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” you sighed and did your best to calm down. “I don't think the ledge is strong enough to hold you both.”

He opened his mouth but you continued, “And you know I couldn't pull your ass up.” you grinned, but he wasn't having it.

“Just wait a second. Let me figure something out.” He looked back towards camp, “We could tie some–”

“You saw the way those rocks fell. We might not have the time for that Joel.” You grabbed his forearm and looked deeply into his eyes, you weren't playing around, you were going to do this, “Please, let me save her.”

His brows furrowed and he looked at you with as much seriousness as you've ever seen from him, and that was saying something. He brought his forehead to yours, “Be careful,” he whispered onto your skin.

You nodded, noses bumbing against each other and then reluctantly moved from him and looked down, “Ellie? I’m going to come down there and help you, ok?”

She looked up at you in pure panic, “No don't! This fucking piece of shit rock is barely holding me up.”

“It’ll be fine.”

She practically cried out your name, “Please don't,” her voice cracked in her loud plea.

You looked at Joel and he was looking at you in premature anguish, “It’s going to be alright,” you said to who, you weren’t sure–probably everyone, including yourself.

You removed your gloves in case you needed a better grip and slowly climbed over the edge, Joel held on tightly, and when he looked at the two deep scars on your hand he froze, “God damnit!”

“What?” you looked up worried that something had happened, and saw him focused on your hand.

“Crazy woman, what are you fuckin’ insane?”

Your hand had crossed your mind, but getting Ellie to safety was the only thing that mattered. You smiled sadly- knowingly at him, and he all of the sudden realized what he was doing–he was slowly dropping you to your death. This wasn’t just a rescue mission, this was a suicide mission. The anger from his eyes was replaced with bone chilling fear. He desperately yanked you back up a little, pulling your arm too tight and causing your bicep to strain.

“Wha–?” you saw the raw panic in his eyes as he tried to haul you back up, “Stop, Joel Stop!” you looked down at Ellie and then back up to him with tears in your eyes, “I’ll break my arm off if I have to.”

He knew you would. Selfless woman.

He looked back at you holding on to his hand, gripping the side of the rock face, eyes full of tears and determination–he loved you so. “You better come back to me.”

“I always will.”

His grip tightened and he lowered you as far as he could, “Land softly.”

No shit you thought as you landed on the ledge. It dropped even further this time making a horrible crumbling noise.

You grabbed Ellie and hugged her tightly afraid that this was it. When nothing else happened you sighed in relief and quickly backed up. She looked scared, like she wanted to stay in your arms and hide.

“Come on, we have to hurry.”

You quickly got on your hands and knees and she stood on top of you. She reached tall but was scared to dig her toes into you–she didn't want to hurt you, and she thought of how long it took for your ribs to heal, how much pain you were in.

“Use your toes Ellie!” you demanded.

“I don't want to hurt you,” she practically sobbed out.

“You won’t, I can hardly feel you.”

She knew you were lying but she complied and stood on the tips of her toes. She brushed his fingertips and tried to reach further.

“Are you close?” you asked, feeling the ground beneath you sway knowing time wasn't on your side.

“I can touch him but I can’t–”

“Jump,” you interrupted her.

“Wha….NO I won't do that.”

“Ellie, baby- you have to.”

“I don't want to.”

“I love you very much…everything is going to be ok.”

More rocks crumbled and Joel called out your name in warning.

“Jump Ellie!”

Without a moment's more hesitation she did and Joel gripped her wrist tightly. They worked together and quickly got her to safety.

The pathetic excuse for a ledge was giving out. Your world was rocking back and forth like a buoy on the ocean. You stood slowly, doing your best to not make any sudden movements. You could hear both of them desperately calling out to you but you were focused. They didn’t know how precarious your situation had become.

You stood slowly and reached for Joel’s hand. You had known going into this that it was going to be much harder for you to get up. Sure you were taller than Ellie but not by much. You were going to have to jump or climb. To jump meant if you missed- you had to land, and you weren’t sure it could take that force.

You dug your fingers into any crack you could find, there weren’t many but you made your way maybe a foot off of the ledge when two things happened—first your hand locked up in a cramp that rendered it useless. You dropped it to your side, trying your best to hide it from those above. And second, the ledge broke away and fell into the water.

They cried out to you but you didn’t know what to do. You truly couldn’t do a thing with your hand, you couldn’t even use it as a stabilizer. You found a perch for one toe of your boot, but it wasn’t going to hold long.

It was like the universe knew that this was how you’d die. It was shitty, but it was giving you a chance to say goodbye to the two people you loved most in the world, and that’s more than a lot of people got.

You looked up. Joel’s face was red from straining to make himself longer. Spit was flying from his mouth with every pleading yell. Ellie was screaming for you to hurry. Time seemed to slow down as you watched them. They were going to be ok, they had each other, and despite what Joel would argue that would be enough.

So you had one attempt. It was all or nothing. One small lurch forward and you’d either make it to Joel’s hand or you wouldn’t. The chances were very slim.

“I have one shot,” you called up.

“Just keep climbing baby, you’re doing so good!” he encouraged loudly.

“I- I can’t. My hand is locked up.”

He cussed and behind him his feet angrily kicked holes in the snow. Tears started falling from his face and passed by you like drops of rain, “I told you to let me! I could have—“

“I love you. I love you both,” you sniffled but felt at peace, you had saved your girl, “I’m going to try my best but I really don’t have much to propel myself from.”

Your hand slipped a little and you could hear Joel’s gasp and Ellie’s cry.

“Ok I’m ready,” your muscles tightened in preparation and you tested the movement. Once you were satisfied that you’ve done all you could you started your countdown, “On, three-two—one.”

To give yourself some credit, you did make it farther than you thought. Probably a hands length away from Joel’s, but you knew from takeoff that it wasn’t enough.

You briefly saw the look of absolute horror on their faces as you took in as much air as you could, and shielded your head with your arms as you plunged into the freezing water.

You of course knew that water was powerful. It helped shape the earth with its constant rising and falling. Given time its pressure could smooth a stone, could forge new paths and create new bodies of water. It grew vegetation as easily as it could flood and drown. Any living thing needs it or would die. Water was both life and death, it was a powerful, powerful thing.

But you didn’t truly respect it until now. It tugged you under and slung your body around like a ragdoll filled with nothing but cotton. You had never felt so weighed down and yet somehow so weightless. You were so distracted by the sheer force of it that the sharp burning from the cold came later. Then oddly enough the need to breathe came even later than that.

After a few seconds of pathetically trying to fight it, you quickly realized you could do nothing but patiently wait for a current to bring you to the surface for a chance to get air.

It happened faster than you had anticipated. Before you knew it your head was above the water and you were gasping for oxygen. Some water got in but that didn’t matter to you in the slightest.

You glanced to the side at the riverbank and for the first time you noticed how fast you were moving. You were absolutely flying down the river.

You went under a couple more times, and were banged around—hitting some rocks here and there, which would bruise but nothing serious.

There wasn’t much farther to go as far as the rapids were concerned. The river was long but if you could make it another one- two minutes tops before it slowed and calmed.

What a jinx you are.

Your ankle was suddenly caught between two rocks. You were stuck and the angry currents were pushing at the side of your face, trying their best to force you back under. You took a deep breath, and went under to try and wiggle your boot free. It was of no use so you untied the shoe and were launched free immediately. It took you by surprise and rolled you a few times—disorienting you, and then your luck ran out. You hit your head, everything went black.

When you fell he almost jumped right in after you. As matter of fact, if Ellie wasn't with him he would have. His whole body shifted forward begging him to leap, but Ellie’s hand quickly grabbed his shoulder tugging him back up, as she yelled out after you. She anchored him to the spot and kept him from acting irrationally.

He sprang to his feet, “Look for her I’m gettin’ the horse.”

She quickly got up and ran along the edge. It's funny that moments ago she was so scared to even go near it- now she was sprinting alongside it, the only fear she felt was for you. Her eyes combed the water trying to get a glimpse of your now flailing form, they were stinging from the cold but she refused to so much as blink.

She looked farther down and saw you, just as you were thrusted up for air.

Joel passed her on the horse and she pointed ahead. She tried to keep up but you were both moving too quickly. She kept running even as she lost sight of you both.

Joel was riding alongside you. It was a difficult task to both keep his eyes on you, and keep his horse from running off the side but he quickly adjusted. You were doing a good job of keeping your head above the water, and he was starting to feel slightly optimistic.

The water was already calming down.

He looked back to you all of that previous optimism died along with any hope he had left in him. This time he screamed your name, it was way too raw to be called a yell.

He moved his horse back and forth searching. The horse was as anxious as Joel, it wanted to continue running. His heart was beating out of his chest as he continued crying out for you.

Then he saw you.

You were face down and floating downstream.

He charged the horse and went ahead of you to where the rocks stopped and the shore began. He dismounted, took off all of his clothes except his boxers, and ran into the water.

Even though it was calmer, he still had to curl his toes–gripping at the dirt in an attempt to brace himself with each step. When you floated near he swam out to you. It was rougher out where you were.

When he reached you he quickly turned you over.

You were so blue and he couldn’t tell if you were breathing.

Fortunately for the both of you, he was a swim champion in his teenage years and a pool lifeguard was his first job. He swam fast and strong and there was no way you’d release from his grip.

When his feet touched the bottom he cradled you, and trudged through the water as quickly as he could–water splashing all around as his strong legs ran you to shore.

Ellie was waiting, bent over trying to catch her breath.

He got you out of the water and laid you down in the snow.

“Is she breathing?” Ellie gasped as she looked down at your blue face.

“I don’t know yet.” He felt for a pulse but didn’t find one. Then he put finger under your nose to feel the air. Nothing.

“Damnit,” he immediately started chest compressions.

Ellie’s legs gave out and she sat in shock. She had lost a lot but losing you felt like too much. You were the closest thing she’d ever had to a mom. You were her best friend. What the fuck was she supposed to do without you?

“...gotta be the hero—”

Joel was angrily muttering to you. Ellie could only make out occasional fragments, she wasn’t even sure he knew what he was saying.

“—let anyone else get hurt.”

His voice trembled with emotion.

“Couldn’t just let me…hard headed…”

He was openly crying now and getting slightly winded from the exertion. His body pink from the cold with steam rising off of him.

“—drive me damn insane,”

Ellie was now sobbing with him- broken gasps and labored breaths. She hugged her knees to herself and began rocking.

“…better start breathing I swear to god.”

The horse moved, catching her eye.

“Please- don’t leave me…”

She turned back and watched him desperately pound on your chest.

“—I fucking need you…you hear me?”

That was as close to a sleeping beauty moment that you’d ever get. You started violently coughing up water- expelling it from your lungs. He rolled you on your side so it was easier on you for you to spit up the liquid.

A rush of pure joy overcame him, “That’s it baby get it all out.”

Ellie crawled closer to you like she couldn’t believe that you were alive. Something red caught her eye. “Uh, Joel?” she pointed behind your head, her voice sounding so small.

He was so fixated on watching your face that he hadn’t seen the blood staining the white snow behind your head, “Fuck.”

As you continued to cough he felt around the back of your head. There was a small swollen knot that was split by a not so deep cut. There was no indentation which was his main concern. And head injuries bled a lot, he reminded himself as he looked at his now crimson coated hand.

The coughs slowed down but he started worrying why you weren’t shivering. He was shaking uncontrollably. You were still.

“Here’s what I need you to do- take the horse and bring all our stuff down here. We have to get her warm.”

Ellie was silent. Frozen in fear staring at the blood.

“Ellie…Ellie?!” He said loudly, snapping her out of it, “You hear me?”

“I- I’m on it.” She jumped on the horse and galloped away.

He pulled you so that you were propped up against a tree–he didn't want you to drown in the water you were clearing from your body. He brushed some hair out of your face with his numb fingers–he couldn't even feel the soft strands. Then he started to gather sticks for a fire.

You were in and out of consciousness. You mumbled a few times but never made much sense.

Ellie returned and helped Joel finish building the fire, it needed to be big. He kept repeating that to her.

They set up the tent. Facing it towards the fire so that the heat wafted and was captured underneath. Then he put all the sleeping bags and any fabric they packed inside. By this time Joel was shaking so bad he could barely pick up anything- now all of his appendages were numb. His tremors were now so severe that his speech was broken.

“I’m gonna ge-get all of these wet clothes–off of her, and get her in-inside.”

She nodded, liking the plan so far.

“Listen- I don’t know how to say this a-any other way, but we are going t-to be naked.”

She looked a little put off and confused.

“It’s just for bo-body heat, nothin’ weird.”

“Nothing, weird?”

“You-you know what, I- I mean,” he clenched his fists trying to demand that his body stop shaking.

“Ok so what do you want me to do?”

“I want you…to ta-take the rifle, and be on lo-look out…she has to ge-get warm–”

“Joel…I’ve got this. Just…take care of her..please.”

He nodded in an understanding agreement, if he takes care of you then everything else will be ok.

She picked up the gun and mentally started outlining a perimeter to pace.

He pulled you over to the fire and began to undress you. His hands fumbled with the buttons and he winced when he finally noticed that you were missing a boot. He removed your shirt and jacket, leaving your top half bare. His eyes traced the many forming bruises–nothing near as bad as the last time. Then his hands touched your belt buckle. Visions from mere hours ago when he was unfastening it for a completely different reason flashed before him.

Tears returned and he started sniffing loudly, ‘gah’ he helplessly croaked out as he removed the remaining clothing. Nothing more to note, just more of the same–discolored bruising and small scrapes.

The bleeding on the back of your head was slowing down, though he still wrapped the injury with gauze. The bandage wrapped around and covered the top of your forehead.

He laid you gently on top of a sleeping bag–the tent had a floor but he was trying his best to keep you from the cold ground. Then he put all the other sleeping bags, blankets, and even clothes on top of you. He took off his wet boxers and threw them out of the tent and snuggled as close to you as he could possibly get.

Your skin felt like ice. He hissed at the first contact but without hesitation pulled you to him even tighter. He was truly enveloping your form- legs were entangled, his broad chest and strong arms cocooned around you securely, even his neck and head curled into you. His hands rubbed up and down your back trying to create a warming friction–but you still weren't shivering…you should be shivering.

He didn't know what else to do, and maybe he'd done all that he could do, but that was hard for a man like Joel to accept.

He was warming up quickly, and as he regained some sense of touch, he started to feel your skin beneath his fingertips. You were so very soft, much too soft for hands like these he thought to himself.

Out of nowhere he started talking. He didn't know where it came from, he just opened his mouth and words began pouring out. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying until he heard Sarah's name.

He was telling you about his daughter he then realized.

You had only asked about her twice. Once at the beginning of your relationship when you found out about her for the first time–which led to him wrongly ignoring you for a whole week. And the second was when he screamed her name in a nightmare–he told you to never mention her again, and went for a walk that lasted a whole day. He didn't know why you put up with him.

Last time you were hurt, when he was so scared he was gonna lose you, he told you how she died. And even then, even after he had opened up and said her name for the first time in years, even knowing that he could trust you- that he loved you, he couldn't bring himself to talk about her…that was for some reason until this moment.

He told you about how smart she was, about how kind and funny, and caring. How she loved to make a big deal on his birthday and always found a way to surprise him with incredibly thoughtful gifts. That she loved to cook and take care of him, because she said he deserved to be taken care of.

And as he was telling you all of the wonderful things about his daughter it made him realize that she would have absolutely loved you. The two of you had a lot in common and would have probably harassed him into taking care of himself. His chest felt unbearably tight, he had hurt the both of you by not talking about her–by not talking about her he hadn’t let her memory live on, and by not telling you he had unintentionally kept a huge part of his heart hidden.

Suddenly he felt you. If he weren’t melded to you so tightly he probably wouldn’t have, but he did. You were starting to tremble.

“That's it baby. Warm up for me.”

He kept rubbing your back. He could feel a thin layer of sweat collect between you, it was from him he was certain. He'd gone from cold to warm to quite hot. The fire had heated up the small space in no time at all.

Before long chills started to shake your body and he could hear your teeth chattering. He felt you nuzzle closer to his chest.

“Sweetheart?”

“S’ cold.”

“You'll be warm in a minute.”

“Wha time is…?” your words were slurred.

“Late. We should probably wake up.” he really hoped that you would wake up, or at least seem more alert.

“Yea…”

And then you lost consciousness or fell back asleep one, or maybe both.

An hour or so passed and you were coming down from the worst of your chills. Your teeth were no longer clicking and your skin felt much warmer to the touch.

He felt your head shift to look up.

“Hey,” he smiled, warmly down at you.

“Hi,” you turned your head and took in your surroundings. Saying you were confused was an understatement. “Where are we?”

“You don't remember?” his brows creased and his smile drained from his face.

“I- I remember…ELLIE!” you sat up quickly, he did too.

“It’s ok, she's ok. I promise.” he pulled you into a hug and as your bare breasts brushed against his arm hair you noticed for the first time that you were naked–you both were.

“Joel, what the hell happened?” you asked into the crease of his neck.

He explained everything, and you were slowly able to fill all of the missing holes of your memory–the fall, the battle in the water, the rock that took you out.

“You saved me again,” tears fell from your eyes.

“Sweetheart I’ll save you everyday if you'll let me,” he wiped them away with his thumb, you heard the gauze rustle.

“Wha?” you reached up and felt the bandage seeming to cover your head.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he chuckled, “Just a little thing. I might have been…excessive.”

You laughed and the strain of it made you notice the pain in your chest. You placed your hand over your heart and looked at him, obviously confused.

“Yeah…that might hurt for a bit,” he winced. “You- you weren't breathing when I got you out of the water–”

“You had to do CPR!?”

“I did.” he swallowed thickly and looked away.

“Oh, Joel… thank you.” you moved your leg over his lap and straddled him, you grimaced, your body was more battered than you thought. He openly began to weep, sobs wrecked through his body. You rested his head to your chest, and rubbed the back of his head until his breaths calmed and his shaking stopped.

“Ya know, this would be really hot in other circumstances.” you weren't in the mood, not even close. You felt like you had been run over by a truck, you were just trying to lighten the mood. “In a tent, naked with you.”

He chuckled, you felt him smile against you. He turned and kissed your soft supple skin. “I’m so glad you're ok…when you fell, just you can't do that shit.”

You leaned away from him, “What? Save Ellie?”

“Can't just…react. I could have tied something together—”

“If she would have fallen into the water, I would have never forgiven you. You know that right?”

He shook his head, “I never would have forgiven myself but- but darlin’…jesus.”

“I don't want to fight. Not about this and not right now, my head is killing me, but know this Joel Miller- if either one of you ever need saving, and I can, I will.” You grabbed a dry shirt and pulled on over your head. “It isn't something up for discussion, and I won't be talked out of it. You jumped in the water to save me- that was dangerous, we sometimes do dangerous things for the ones we love.” He looked like a kicked puppy but you continued, “If I don’t act, if I sit back and think about it- took time to come up with a plan, and then lost you anyway…then what–then what would be the point?”

You put your hand behind his head and pulled him closer again, whispering against his face, “I know you'd do the same so don't play all high and mighty with me, you will always lose that battle,” you placed a kiss on his lips.

He returned the kiss eagerly. Your lips were chapped but they had never tasted better to him. He pulled you both up so that you were both kneeling, and he pressed your body into his. He wished you hadn't put on the shirt, despite all of the previous contact he still felt like he needed to feel you.

“Joel…” you reluctantly warned into his mouth.

“I know…I know–but god I just want to feel you right now.”

You hummed in agreement and stayed for another minute or two, and then slowly backed out of his embrace. He smoothed back his hair and looked around for his extra clothes. You threw his boxers at his face, he laughed and grabbed you back to him- suddenly catching you off balance and the jerking motion hurt your head.

You hissed and massaged your temple.

“Shit I’m sorry.”

“It's fine..I think I need to lie down.”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just need a minute.”

“You rest,” he tucked you in and kissed your forehead, “I’m gonna tell Ellie that you're doin’ better.”

“Kay,” you closed your suddenly very tired eyes.

Come morning it was snowing. It was a pleasant snow, the kind that was peaceful to watch with large flakes that floated down to the earth. You had slept straight through the night. Joel and Ellie took turns, taking watch and staying by you. You woke with a ravenous appetite, and ate enough for three meals. Neither of them said a word, in a humorous delight- they just watched you scarf down the food.

They both insisted that you rode the horse on your journey home. You didn't want to, but you would admit that your equilibrium was still somewhat off, and your body was very sore. So you relented and did as they asked.

When you returned to Jackson, the doctor examined you and said that you had a mild concussion and were still experiencing the symptoms from hypothermia, but were otherwise fine. You'd just have to take it easy for a week or two.

A week later you were working back in the armory, this time though you had no complaints.

When you came home, you opened the door and was immediately hit with a delicious aroma, “Joel? Ellie?” you called out a little suspicious. You tended to be this family's chef.

“In the dining room,” Joel responded.

You could hear the two of them whispering hurriedly, and you heard silverware clanking around. When you entered the room your jaw dropped.

They were both dressed up. Joel with a nice dark blue buttoned up shirt that you'd never seen- the sleeves neatly rolled up, dark pants, and his hair looked styled with…what was that gel? Ellie was wearing a white buttoned up shirt, and she had her hair down with one small braid off to the side (you had taught her how to braid her horse's mane and she was getting proud of her skills).

The ambiance was almost romantic, dim with nothing but candles lighting up the room. The table was set like they were expecting royalty and they had a bottle of wine in front of where you usually sat.

Joel moved to your chair and held it out for you, “Your chair Madame.”

“What is this?” you hoped you didn't look as shocked as you felt. You did.

“I made you dinner.” Ellie said proudly, “So sit.”

She left abruptly to retrieve the food.

You chuckled and sat. Joel pushed you in like a gentleman and then placed your napkin in your lap. “Wine Madame?” He was trying to do a french accent but it oddly just sounded somehow even more texan.

You giggled, “Oui Monsieur.”

He laughed, “Am I not garcon?

“A little boy?”

He looked flustered, “Oh…I reckon I don't know much French.” He filled your glass almost to the brim. He looked nervous.

You giggled again, “I don't either.”

Ellie walked in with a massive pot. It was a stew loaded with meat and potatoes. Then she went back to the kitchen and brought out some bread rolls that she learned to make from a sweet old lady.

“Ellie…what is this about?”

“I just– I just wanted to do something special for you. Joel said that you mentioned doing this before and I thought it might be something nice for you. I just…you fucking saved me.”

“Ellie–”

“No, I know. It still just sucks. How do you thank someone for saving your life ya know?”

“Easy.” you smiled lovingly at her.

She tilted her head in curiosity.

“You live yours baby.”

She moved to you quickly, and sat in your lap.You held her tightly, and she pressed into the nook of your neck.

Joel shuffled and stealthily wiped his eyes.

She sat up and looked at you, her eyes were red, “I don't really want to cry any more.”

“Then hop up, and let's eat.”

She hugged you again and then stood.

“Tell me about what you made me.”

She smiled and told you about everything in great detail.

Dinner was immaculate, that sounds over the top but it truly was. Once you had all cleaned your plates she returned to the kitchen and brought out a pie. A pie!!! You don't want to admit it, really you don't, but you ate half of it.

You were so proud of her and kept flooding her with compliments.

When everyone finished, you tried to help clean but they shooed you away. Joel grabbed your plate from you and whispered in your ear, “Go take a shower, I'll be up in a minute,” and gave you a rather passionate kiss.

You ran upstairs and took a very quick shower, your body was throbbing with anticipation. But alas, with belly full wine, pie, bread, and stew- after your warm relaxing shower- laying on your comfy bed that smelled of Joel's masculine scent- with a content mind and body, you fell asleep in record time.

When he entered the bedroom he saw you splayed out on top of the bed. “Sweetheart?” he asked softly- when he heard you deep breaths he immediately knew that you were asleep. It was hard to be disappointed when you looked so beautiful. He softly caressed your cheek, almost in awe of how incredibly lucky he was. He managed to gently maneuver you so that you were under the covers. He tucked you in and kissed the tip of your nose.

Then he unbuttoned his shirt, opened the dresser, and hid the ring back inside.

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if I forgot to tag you I am so sorry: @givemeth , @farintonorth

#not for you rae 💖#joel miller x reader #my fics

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