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13uswntimagines · 3 years

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Secret Santa (Alex Morgan x Reader)

Reader is in the military and surprises her wife and daughter (with a little help from Preath). Merry Christmas from @literaryhedgehog and Me!!!

“Little bit still hasn’t told you what she wants for Christmas yet?” Kelley asked, munching on some pretzels and hummus.

Alex rolled her eyes sliding into a seat next to her. “No, she utterly convinced that it won’t come true if she tells anyone but Santa.”

“Didn't she write a letter? Why didn’t you just take a peek?” Tobin interjected, sitting on Kelley’s other side. Her fiancé had been so excited to have her niece for the day.

“She mailed it to god knows where with Christen before I could,” Alex sighed, shaking her head. She had been fine with the whole mailing letters thing (actually watching your four-year old try to write out something heartfelt in blue crayon was kinda adorable), but then Camren had insisted on mailing it herself. Alex felt a little bad for the person in Antarctica who was getting the random letter.

“Damn,” Kelley huffed, blowing her cheeks out, trying to drum up ideas.

“Yeah, apparently it’s a Press family tradition or whatever, and Chris did it because Y/n isn’t here to. If she was she at least could have curbed some of her enthusiasm long enough to take a picture of the letter.” Alex grumbled, chewing thoughtfully on a pretzel. Your big sister had been picking up a lot of slack while you were away with the SEALs, but it just wasn’t the same as having you there.

“We hired a Santa, so just listen to whatever she tells him,” Tobin shrugged, a look that Alex didn’t recognize crossing her features.

“And pray to god it gets here overnight,” Kelley snorted. Hopefully whatever Camren wanted could be found at a local Walmart.

*****

The holiday party was in full bustle. There were benefits to doing training in Florida, so while Camren still had her heart set on snow for christmas, the adults had strung the outdoor tent with string lights and decorated it with holly and mistletoe. Camren had promised to eat at least two bites of every food there -- even the healthy ones that looked weird (her words not Alex’s) -- before she ate too many of Emily’s double chocolate chunk brownies, and so Alex was feeling rather proud of herself. She and her daughter were both there, dressed up, and only 15 minutes late for the party-- not bad for single parenting skills. Maybe after Camren was done talking to Santa, Carlie or Lindsey could be persuaded to babysit for a bit so Alex could go introduce herself to that lovely bottle of merlot she saw hiding in the corner.

Alex was surprised with how comfortable her daughter seemed on Santa’s lap. Camren was a bit nervous walking over, but it was nothing compared to her fear last year, when she had bawled until you eventually gave up and held her behind the poor man. Perhaps it had to do with how tenderly the poor suited person seemed to hold the small child, and the little glimmer in their eyes. .

Santa’s eyes met Alex’s for a split second, and the sense of security the slight contact brought her was slightly alarming. They looked so familiar and sent warm tingles through her chest.

“Did you get my letter?” The little girl asked, drawing the bearded one’s attention back to her. Alex bit her lip, there was no way this random stranger got the letter addressed to Rudolph at the North Pole.

The Santa nodded, their features softening. “I did. It seems you were very concerned about your mama getting her gift?”

The little girl nodded rapidly. “How do you know where to take it, if she’s on top secret missions all da time?” Her brow furrowed, “what if she doesn’t have a chimney to hang her stocking on?”

“I just know. Remember I know if you’ve been good or bad, or if you move. I promise she’ll get everything she wants. Now back to you. What do you want for Christmas?” Santa tried to explain.

The little girl thought for a moment, her finger tapping on her chin, before she leaned up to cup the person’s ear. She whispered a few words, leaned back to look the bearded person in the eye. The (very fake) white beard at the top of the red coat bobbed up and down in a nod, and Alex saw a sparkle in their eye as their lips twitched above it.

“Well that’s quite the order.”

“Pwease? Its not that tall, and It’s the only thing I really want,” Camren pouted, pulling the puppy dog eyes that never ceased to make her parents melt. This was important, and if she only got one real chance to talk to the person who could make it happen, she wanted them to know just how much she wanted it.

“I’ll see what I can do,” the Santa said, nodding seriously and stroking the beard as Camren jumped up and ran back to Alex.

“What did you ask for?” Alex whispered. Good grief, wasn’t the whole point of hiring a Santa to hear what the munchkin wanted?

“Can’t say. Want it to happen,” Camren whispered back, twirling slightly as she buried herself in the hem of her mom’s skirt. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

****

Alex smiled widely as the Santa pulled another wrapped present from the gaudy red bag. It was a nice spin on their usual tradition, and she just hoped Pino didn’t get her for a secret Santa. That woman forgot every year, and Alex’s name hadn’t come up yet and that bag looked suspiciously empty. No wait, there was one- nope, that was Beckey’s present from Alyssa. Maybe there was a gift card in there somewhere? Alex looked down at Camren, who despite practically nodding off in Sonnet’s arms an hour ago, had woken up during the secret santa exchange. She was now sitting on the ground playing with the toy horses, blind to her surroundings.

“Hey, um Kelley? Who was running the secret santa exchange again?” Alex whispered, grabbing her arm. “I think my person forgot to get me a present.”

“What?” Kelley, turned to her shocked. “I think maybe Tobin was in charge this year, we’ll ask her if someone wrote down who your person was.”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” Christen’s voice broke in. Alex and Kelley turned to look at her and Tobin, who were standing with a very confused Emily. “I’m really sorry, we just didn’t get a chance to wrap your gift. You’ll get it at the end of the party.”

“Isn’t it like against the rules for Christen to get Alex since they actually spend Christmas together every year?” Sonnett whined. If she couldn’t buy presents for Lindsey, and Sam couldn’t do it for Kristie then that totally wasn’t fair.Sister-in-law and fiance-of-sister-in-law definitely had an unfair advantage on the ”knowing what presents to buy” front. She had to buy Jullie’s gift, and had just settled on some tea-rex patterned socks and a starbucks gift card.

Lindsey glared in her direction. “Can it disonny,” she wasn’t about to let her girlfriend mess up a surprise that had been 6 months in the making.

“It’s fine Chris, you didn’t have to get me anything,” Alex smiled sadly.

“I mean that would have been cruel since Camren has been campaigning pretty hard for your present,” Christen snorted. It was all your daughter could talk about. She had even harassed every Santa she saw while they went Christmas shopping, and wrote several letters (that she forwarded to you) about the issue.

“She told you what she wants, and you didn’t tell me?” Alex asked exasperated. She had been fighting with your daughter for a month to know what she actually wanted. Why on earth would she tell her aunt but not her mom? She was going to have to have a conversation with Camren about how Santa had different rules from wishing on a star or a birthday candle. Namely that she should tell her mom what she wanted!

Christen shrugged, a smile pulling at her lips, though Alex didn’t know what she was so amused about. “Well, it was for you, so I get a pass,”

“I for one think that Christen’s present is totally on point, even if it’s wrapped in ugly, sweaty red velvet,” A new voice joined the conversation, just as arms wrapped snugly around Alex’s waist.

Alex froze, her eyes going wide and her mouth opening and closing several times.

You chucked from behind her, spinning her around so you were face to face for the first time in almost a year.

“Hi love.”

“Holy shit,” Alex breathed. Her hands reached up to touch your cheeks, the sense of touch confirming what she couldn’t trust her eyes to see.

“Surprise,” You mumbled, leaning in and finally connecting your lips. You sighed into the kiss, thoroughly enjoying the way they moved together, and the taste of your wife. She impatiently pulled down the beard when you paused to breathe, and your hands found her hips, pulling her closer, while her fingers tangled in that baby hairs at the base of your neck. “Let’s do that again,” you said, your breath fanning against her lips before she pulled you back in. You had an awful lot of time to make up for.

“Why is mommy kissing Santa Claus,” Camren asked from somewhere below your feet. You were fairly certain you heard one of your wife’s teammates explaining in the background that Santa left a little while ago, and Mama had just dressed like him to surprise Mommy. You were a tad busy to explain anything right now.

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagine

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border-spam · 3 years

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Does troy really have a split jaw or is that fanon?

It's total fanon!

The design of the split lines across his cheekbones and chin coupled with the cheek clips and v shaped hinge outline next to his ears lead to a lot of people coming to that same outcome, that there is something up with his mouth from a prosthetic/mod standpoint.

So much of his design is never mentioned once or referenced in any way (hightech spinal rig with tattoos under it, neuro connector, mech arm that's much older and doesn't seem related to the spine and neuroport, implants on bicep, face mod etc) that like Tyreen's scars and possible lower body Siren markings, fandom took over when it came to coming up with logical explanations for 'em.

This actually touches ground with some Ao3 comments I wanted to share as they are all Leech Lord compliant, so I'll list them here alongside links to the fics they were related to (note warnings!)

You leave no avenue for characterization unexplored. Troy's facial prostheses finally receiving backstory is amazing

- Maw (Gore/Bodyhorror)

I LOVE the idea of it being not just decorative shit on his face, but my MO for any content I make is always based around asking why, over and over, and trying to make sense of what material I'm using in the first place. The modded mouth is a popular piece of fanon but you know... why? Why would he do that shit to himself. WHY would he want to be grotesque, why would he be chasing the reaction people would have to it when canonically he seems to really not be interested in fan attention the same way Tyreen is, what's the difference to him between being adored as his persona or being lusted after as a monster, etc. I just love deep-diving into the logic behind character and world building? It's what adds meat to the bone for me.

Big 'ol character and worldbuilding / lore responses list under the cut -

He could afford better robots but these ones UNDERSTAND Ty, don't you get it?

- Good night in (tooth rotting fluff)

Hey just because it's mangled and broken, and can't perform its intended function to a degree expected of it by everyone around it... and it's got rusty sharp bits it accidentally hurts you with sometimes... and it's cranky but it doesn't mean it... and sometimes it errors out in a way that's mildly disturbing in a way you can't place.. uh.. doesn't mean you should just GIVE UP ON IT you know? He can fix them :) They will be fine :) No one should just throw away something that's trying so hard just because it's damaged... haha... :')

It's so hard seeing how much they tear each other down when they're the only thing they have left. And what a poor self-image Tyreen has beyond all that glitter and bluster...

- Wolf in sheep's clothing

The twins function well enough as a unit till tensions rise, and I was trying to seed in The Leech's influence on them in earlier work like this too - towards anyone else Ty would become MORE aggressively confident, more assured in her complete and utter dominance of the situation, her flawlessness, but against Troy who see's her for what she is, it turns inwards and eats at her instead of lashing outwards. He switches from relatively submissive around her to almost surgical levels of dissection, he knows exactly how to go for the jugular with words, and doesn't hold back. She's The Leech's mouth but he's its eyes and it's only when they lose control emotionally enough for it to claw to the surface of their psyches that you get an idea of how much it really affects them individually. GB had an absolute goldmine on their hands here of cosmic/body horror and the concept of toxic family when all you have is each other, there's so much to work with, and I figure it's a factor in why some people still really enjoy messing around with Calypso content.

I like how you allow Troy to be a disabled character, how his congenital defects and prosthetics colour his outlook and appear in ways big and small in all these vignettes. It's easy, I think, to see him as largely untroubled by his health apart from when he needs a charge from Tyreen in the game, but you allow him to struggle with his weakness.

- Chronic (Drug use)

I'm really glad to hear that's coming through in the writing because it's something I noticed a lot too. Very often when Troy, or other characters canonically disabled / chronically unwell are written it's "told" and not "shown". Chronic pain, illness, it's not something that is just a little tickbox in a life or some descriptive terms added to a character synopsis, it's something you live and deal with. There are bad days. There are times it is a negative that has to be worked around or faced in ways that aren't pleasant. It doesn't make you lesser or weak to have times where illness does leave you unable to function to a level you want to, it's not a failure for you to be unable to perform tasks when a disability or flair up means it's not viable. I feel personally that by showing scenes like this where his health and body issues do have a very visceral and impossible to ignore the effect on his ability to function, and going through his mental processes of dealing with and managing them, it brings the character across as stronger than if he never seemed to be shown dealing with symptoms or weaknesses. People are more than their disabilities and conditions, those aren't just kinda taglines to add onto a character's description and then never address. I feel like doing that in a way undermines what people deal with who manage chronic illness, pain, and who have disabilities that affect their daily lives negatively. Appreciating the effort it takes to manage them is important.

What I really like about these is that you can really understand as a reader how their dynamic must have evolved. How even before Leda's death Tyreen would have felt demonized while Troy got the attention because of his condition, because he was less willful.

- Starlight, Moonbright

Ah man, absolutely - and that shit stayed with them. It wasn't his fault and he never wanted it, but of course their parents would have had their extremely ill child at the forefront of their thoughts, especially during weeks when he was.. bad. Tyreen by nature even without The Leech's influence is a little attention seeker, she'd be the life of any party and she BLOSSOMS if she's got the spotlight, but as a little kid who's got literally no one but her parents and her brother, and who all three of which can't give her nearly as much time as she deserved? That's rough. That's really unfair. That coupled with The Leech's warping effect on their egos as they grew up and the bitterness and resentment they harbored in different ways created a reverse dynamic. She'd never be out of the Galaxy's attention again, and he'd have no choice but to take his rightful place in her shadow.

I love how you illustrate both how much more, and yet how much less Troy is now. How the blameless child, full of potential, is inextricably linked to the brutal, larger-than-life avatar he fashions.

- DeLeon ( Graphic Violence / Gore / Hallucinations)

He's molded the monster he is now out of the bones of the man he should have been - there's no going back really. There's nothing left to go back to. He broke Troy DeLeon apart to build the persona that acts like an iron lung now, suffocating him breath by breath while forcing him to still take them. That life is over, he killed it before it had a chance, but the idea of it is still there in his subconscious. Somewhere in the absolute trainwreck of Troy's brain is the tiny, flickering belief that maaaaaybe one day this will all be over and he can shuck off the bracer and spines, peel off all the shit he's covered his skin with, and just go back to not being Calypso. DeLeon here isn't some aspect of his mental state or his sins haunting him - it's The Leech, spitting venom at a host it loathes in something that's not sound or comprehensible language. His subconscious has just translated it into something it can understand - his greatest regret.

On if Borderlands Humans originated on Earth -

There's a really tenuous link between BL verse and rEarth, but it's there and can't be ignored. The cultures, accents, terminologies, so many are Earth specific despite these people being spread across galaxies, so hell yes - Earth as an emergence point makes total sense. The next question then, is why is it never mentioned - and you can cover for that with a lot of things like say, tt was so long ago that it's not relevant to anything that would ever be discussed, or it could be a mass evacuation from a catastrophe there is little record of now. I like to go with something along those lines, that the first human Siren host emergence on earth just absolutely decimated the planet. Like, we were doing fine till this random woman somewhere in the ass-end of nowhere develops weird markings overnight, then goes apocalyptic. The first Leech maybe, not understanding her powers and having them rip across continents in a spread of crackling electric death that only left husked shells of plants and animals in its wake, or the first Firehawk who went nuclear and burned the sky, or the first Voidgrasp who lost control and began to collapse the planet's core - some extreme shit that had humans fleeing en masse with barely any preparation and HUGE swathes of history and knowledge left behind. That would cover so many social things surviving into the BL verse, cultures, accents, cooking, that shit comes with us regardless of what we were able to throw into escape ships. Like so much data would be stored on any tech and data arrays within the vessels people would use to leave a dying planet even in an insane rush, but that shit waters down over time - if you're farming barely edible plants on some planet that smells like farts, are you really gonna be that stressed about teaching your kids history from a lost planet when your current concerns are not being eaten by something with 19 legs and 4 buttholes? Don't think so.

On if the other Siren entities are as influential to their hosts as The Leech -

I touch on it a wee bit throughout LL, but the others are FAR more passive and meld more to their host's whims. The Firehawk Siren wouldn't.. like.. care? If the host was burning down a planet or fighting off an evil corporation? They are removed from any nonsense happening on this side, they might not even really be able to tell, it's like asking an amoeba or a collection of sentient atomic particles what its opinion is on Brexit. That's not really its priority. The Leech is so aggressive in its control of the twins and desperation to drive them towards an outcome it desires only cause it's split, broken, removed from the song, and completely lost. We're talking a caged, half-mad animal removed from its natural environment and left totally isolated from its own kind for millennia. It's in pain, it's confused, it wants to find its way back to the song and the others and where it belongs, but it's stopped by a barrier it can't comprehend ( the twins and being ripped between them), so in its impotent rage it feeds back that hatred onto them. It's not really sentient in the way we would describe functional intelligence, but it wants, and craves, and FEELS. And it feels very, very angry.

Big thanks to @undergoingcalibrations for talking through so much of this with me!

Asks are Open!

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #bl3 #troy calypso #tyreen calypso #calypso twins #sirens #leech lord #my hcs #my writing

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astrognossienne · 3 years

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tragic star: keith moon

“If you don't like it, you can fuck off!” - last words of Keith Moon

This one was a long time coming, but frankly, it took me a while to get interested enough in the subject to actually do this analysis, let alone finish it. At any rate, Keith Moon, like most of the drummers from the rock ‘n’ roll period that we still read about today, led a self-destructive lifestyle. A close friend of his once said the drummer was “like a train ride you couldn’t stop.” Not only was his drumming chaotic – so was his life. According to some, he was at his core a kind and generous soul, but to others, he was lost, lonely soul, and terribly immature throughout his adult life. Perhaps it was the sudden success, upon joining the rock band The Who, when he was only 18 (although plenty of others of the same era were as young, or younger, and survived just fine), but Keith was so eager to please and make everyone laugh that he eventually became the “Moon the Loon” character that he was portrayed as in the media. It got to the point where he wasn't sure who he really was. A true Leo, he made a circus out of everything and he wouldn't walk into any room and just listen. He was an attention seeker and he had to have it. He used amphetamines, tranquilizers, drank way too much alcohol, destroyed hotel rooms and friends’ homes, threw TVs into swimming pools, set fires, and the list goes on. He was ultimately unable to outrun or outlast his demons; whether it was the wife and child he drove away, the friend and chauffeur he accidentally killed in early 1970...whatever else haunted him, it ultimately caught up with him just as he was finally trying to improve his life. Friends were well-acquainted with the many sides to Moon’s strange personality; one minute he was insulting, exaggerating, joking – the next minute he’s a wide-eyed, innocent-looking drummer boy. The public Keith Moon was The Who’s manic drummer and hellraising, daredevil comedian; a man who only ever lived in the moment. However, the real Keith Moon was a son, a brother, a father and a deeply insecure man. A man of extremes, his was a complete shitshow of a life.

Keith Moon, according to astrotheme, was a Leo sun and Cancer moon (the moon is speculative). Moon was born to working class parents in Wembley, London, England. He was a hyperactive child by nature and a mediocre student at school. His art teacher said in a report: "Retarded artistically. Idiotic in other respects". His music teacher wrote that Moon "has great ability, but must guard against a tendency to show off." At the age of 12, he had joined the Sea Cadet Corp and was given his first musical instrument, the bugle. He left school by 15 and was in his first band, The Beachcombers. While performing with the Beachcombers, he used to attend concerts of a band called The Detours. At that time The Detours were planning to sign a deal with Fontana Records and for this deal, this band required a new drummer. The Detours changed their name to The Who in 1964. When Moon learned about the band’s need for a new drummer, he approached them for an audition. After the audition, he became their new drummer, and performed with The Who for the first time in 1962.

From the moment he joined, musically the band was complete, although adding his already volatile personality to those of the other three equally headstrong members meant that the early years of the Who's career were fraught with drama and violence, despite their almost immediate success. Much of the tension came from the fact that Keith readily joined in on popping pills with guitarist Pete Townshend and bassist John Entwistle, while lead singer Roger Daltrey (with whom Keith was never particularly close) didn't. After sacking Roger for two weeks in mid-1965, he was reinstated, band relations improved, and the Who continued to release a string of successful singles and albums before a downturn in their fortunes in 1968. However, the release of the album Tommy in 1969 turned them into international megastars overnight and from that moment until the day Keith died, they would remain one of the top rock bands in the world. Running concurrently with the Who's rise to stardom in the 1960s was Keith's relationship with his wife Kim. She first met Keith in 1965 when he was 19 and she 15, and while they fell in love rather quickly, he exhibited twin streaks of jealousy and insecurity and Moon was occasionally violent towards Kim. While his mental issues, which would now be readily (and correctly) diagnosed as a combination of ADHD and BPD, reared their ugly heads on innumerable occasions, Keith's true personality shone through enough that Kim stayed with him; she decided to marry him when she became pregnant within a year of dating, and they got married in 1966. Their daughter Amanda was born on 12 July. In those days, there was a belief that married rockstars with kids weren’t as appealing to their mostly female fans, and the marriage (and child) were kept secret from the press until May 1968. He loved his daughter, but his absences due to touring and fondness for practical jokes made their relationship uneasy when she was very young. "He had no idea how to be a father", Kim said. "He was too much of a child himself."

The chaotic sixties would not hold a candle to what the new decade had in store for him, however. Shortly after New Year’s in 1970, Moon accidentally killed his friend, driver and bodyguard, Neil Boland, outside the Red Lion pub in Hatfield, Hertfordshire. Pub patrons had begun to attack his Bentley; Moon, drunk, began driving to escape them. During the fracas, he hit Boland. After an investigation, the coroner ruled Boland's death an accident; Moon, having been charged with a number of offences, received an absolute discharge. Those close to Moon said that he was haunted by Boland's death for the rest of his life. Moon had nightmares about the incident and said he had no right to be alive. Also, compounding this tragedy, was the fragile state of Moon’s marriage. Even after marriage and his daughter being born, he was still jealous, self-centered, and abusive to his wife Kim, both verbally and physically. His mental state also deteriorated as his appetite for all manner of pills escalated and he exploded into a full-blown alcoholic. Even after separating for a year, Kim returned to him, hoping that he had finally changed, but the insane lifestyle Keith kept up at their house became too much. Kim and Amanda (nicknamed “Mandy”) finally left for good in 1973. Since his marriage was a central part of Keith's life, their divorce would come to affect him perhaps more than any other event in his adult life and it was a devastation Keith would never recover from. While most people would use an event like this as the impetus to clean up their act, Keith used it instead as an excuse to drive himself further into oblivion.

Moon's lifestyle began to undermine not only his health but his career. During the 1973 Quadrophenia tour, at the Who's debut US date, Moon ingested a mixture of tranquilizers and brandy. During the concert, Moon passed out on his drum kit during the song "Won't Get Fooled Again." The band stopped playing, and a group of roadies carried Moon offstage. After he was given a shower and an injection of cortisone, he was sent back onstage. Moon passed out again during "Magic Bus," and was again removed from the stage. The band continued without him for several songs before Pete Townshend asked, "Can anyone play the drums? – I mean somebody good?" A fan in the audience, who happened to be a drummer, came up and played the rest of the show. During the opening date of the band's March 1976 US tour at the Boston Garden, Moon passed out again over his drum kit after two numbers and the show was rescheduled. By the mid-1970s Keith was living in Los Angeles and getting up to even more insanity with John Lennon, Ringo Starr, Harry Nilsson, and other stars. Even a new love in his life, Swedish model Annette Walter-Lax, couldn't get him to slow down and take control. There were even stints in psychiatric wards after some mental breakdowns brought on by his despair at losing Kim and his daughter and his drinking. His alcohol and drug abuse was now not only affecting his health (he put on a significant amount of weight at this time due to infrequent gigging) but sadly, his drumming. In 1978 soon after he recorded Who Are You, his final album with The Who, depressed by the deterioration of his drumming and threats from the rest of the Who to clean up his act or else, that he finally decided to get some help. By the summer of 1978, he seemed to be trying to get his life in order, staying sober and solidifying his relationship with Annette. He was terrified to go into rehab or under psychiatric evaluation, however, and instead self-medicated with Heminevrin, a drug used for treating acute withdrawal from alcohol. However, he took too many on his final night and sadly died on September 7, 1978 at the age of 32.

Over forty years after his death, it's still difficult to think of Keith Moon as anything more than just a hard-drinking insane rock star who would smash his drum set on stage or destroy a hotel room. But regardless of the human being behind the drumkit, the legendary drummer should be remembered as the man who forever changed the sound of rock 'n' roll.

Next, I’ll go back to my beloved star analyses by covering a personal favourite of mine; a force of nature and an unsung pioneer of cinema whose death was ridiculously sensationalized and whose colourful life was almost as wild as Moon’s: Cancer Lupe Vélez

Stats

birthdate: August 23, 1946*

*note*: due to the absence of a birth time, this analysis will be even more speculative.

major planets:

Sun: Leo

Moon: Cancer

Rising: unknown

Mercury: Leo

Venus: Libra

Mars: Libra

Midheaven: unknown

Jupiter: Libra

Saturn: Leo

Uranus: Gemini

Neptune: Libra

Pluto: Leo

Overall personality snapshot: He may sometimes have wanted a safe, simple life where he felt emotionally contained and able to pursue his own creative interests. Then, however, the compulsion to strive for a more central, leading role reared its challenging head, and he knew he had it in him – so out into the spotlight he went. So immense was his creative energy as well as his warm feeling for others that he could become both the artistic home-maker and the home-loving artist/writer/entrepreneur. His personality was large and welcoming, colourful and theatrical because he had such an uncanny knack of dramatizing his vivid impressions and selling himself in the most genuine, heartfelt way. Both the paternal and the maternal urge was strong in him. He needed to use his will to project and establish your identity in the world, and to use his instincts to nurture and protect his emotional and material security. The Sun and the Moon are in their ‘home’ signs here, so that potentially he had the creative vision of Apollo and the lunar wisdom of Diana all rolled into one. This could make him pretty overpowering at times, and indeed he needed a partner and a family on whom he could lavish his emotions. His bearing was often aristocratic, sometimes haughty, oversensitive and self-absorbed, but he always seemed to have enough affection to go around so that no one felt left out. He also managed to remain approachable and compassionate because he was so aware of his own vulnerability and need to be loved. Thus he made a warm and understanding friend, and he enjoyed expressing his feelings with original flair and thoughtfulness.

He was protective, possessive and clannish, a stalwart member of his family, group and nation, and utterly devoted to his ideals. Deeply honourable and dependable, he brought an attitude of devotion and romantic style to all he did. He may have actually had a good head for business because he possessed an instinctive knowledge of security needs as well as a shrewd understanding of people, their desires, fears and foibles. His refined taste for comfort and beauty was part of the impetus for success – he knew his own mind and did not easily budge from his preferences and high standards. Aesthetic sensitivity was strong, and combined with his innate tenacity and quiet ambition means that he was quite successful in the arts. Even though he readily turned a bright face to the world, he did not always feel confident and strong. He had a lively sense of individuality, but his potency was sometimes too dependent on emotional familiarity, and the range of his self-expression too circumscribed within repetitive emotional patterns. Inwardly he shied away from encounters with the big, bad world, and early in life he may have needed to find ways of handling challenges that normally push the panic button. This wouldn’t have been hard for him because his creative drive was tremendous and his individuality needed recognition.

He was ambitious, sound at giving orders, carried responsibility well and was a good teacher, especially able to bring out the best in children. He believed in herself and generally knew the right thing to say at the right time, although he could show a stubborn and dogmatic side. He had a high opinion of his mental powers, and it was certainly true to say that he had plenty of mental energy. He was quite sociable and expected other people to behave well at all times. He was eager for close personal relationships, so he tended to have a wide circle of friends. Self-indulgence was a problem for him, as was laziness and conceit in relationships. He tended to be impatient with superficial details, preferring large-scale situations, and he disliked being tied down by obligations over which he had little control. Conservatism may have affected his creativity, artistic values and love affairs. This expressed itself as self-imposed restrictions or as selfishness. He often felt inadequate, which created an insidious form of oppression over all his forms of expression. He could also take herself so seriously, that people think that he was older than his years.

He was part of a generation that was strongly interested in humanitarian ideals, new avenues of communication and progress in mechanical skills. As a member of this generation, he was able to bring original ideas to both his career and spare-time interests. Crises in thought and ideology arose because he looked beyond tradition and old attitudes towards new original and inventive ways of looking at things. His active mind tended to need constant stimulation and his tastes could be quite fickle and difficult to satisfy. He belonged to a time of peace-loving idealism when the family unit and the way relationships were managed underwent great changes. He could be too idealistic and a little unrealistic when it came to matters of love, sex and romance. As a member of this generation, he tended to need to be motivated to make the most of his potential, because the line of least resistance appeared very attractive, especially when it involved pleasure-seeking. He embodied the Libra Neptune generation in the sense that he was a huge part of a time when beauty reappeared in fashion. He was part of a generation which was highlighted by the clash between authoritarianism and individualism. As a member of the Leo Plutonian generation, he wanted freedom in his relationships and demanded the loyalty of his friends as a right. As a member of this generation, he wanted power over his own life and was prepared to challenge established structures. He didn’t feel comfortable being dictated to, unless he in some way agreed to it beforehand. He was a part of excesses of the sixties. He was part of a generation that brought about a revolution in forms of entertainment, recreational activities and leisure time, as well as attitudes towards children.

Love/sex life: He was a lover so in love with the idea of love that nothing else matters. At times his whole-hearted idealism made him too optimistic and too easily deceived by people who promised to fulfill his ideals and then renege but, as delicate and unworldly as his romantic fantasy may seem, it was remarkably durable. Though he may have been misused and hurt, he never lost his faith in the power of true love. Issues of the flesh were always secondary to him and he was apt not to give them much thought. If such urges must be satisfied, then so be it. If sex proved useful in reaching other goals, that was fine too. As long as sex did not intrude on his ideal of perfect love such physical inconveniences hardly mattered. Unfortunately, most of the rest of the world did not agree with him on this point and, measured by their standards, his sexual behaviour may have seemed immoral or at least strangely naïve. He needed to learn to allow for such harsh realities even as he strove to create that grand idyll of perfect love.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Gemini

Lilith: Capricorn

Juno: Libra

Chiron: Libra

Vesta: Aries

Ceres: Aquarius

Pallas: Sagittarius

His North Node in Gemini dictated that he needed to prevent his idealism from influencing his thoughts to such a high degree. He needed to consciously develop a more clear-minded and analytical approach involving his thought processes. His Lilith in Capricorn dictated that he was dangerously attracted to women who had a scrappy plucky attitude hot-wired into their psyche. Against his better judgment, he liked to be around a woman who needed to be in control and to be mistress of her own destiny, because her life was in the control of not-so-well-meaning others as a child. Juno in Libra, he sought a mate who was harmonious, artistic, musical and intelligent. He liked beauty and balance at home. He believed in equal partnerships where all lived up to the letter of the law. Chiron in Libra, he often felt wounded in relationships and could wound others in retaliation. He may have felt he was constantly hurt or rejected in relationships. Through learning that he was whole on his own, he could have freed himself from this destructive pattern. He would have benefited from a partner that could have helped him heal in some way. Vesta in Aries, he was incline to initiate work for religious and humanitarian projects. Action came from a desire to improve every situation. There was a great deal of insecurity in self-evaluation. Ceres in Aquarius, at his best, he had tact and the ability to compromise, making him well liked by all. Pallas in Sagittarius, he had the ability to evaluate true personal worth enabling him to use his resources in the most advantageous ways. Other people may think he was lucky. Ideally speaking, he could have been generally positive instead of being wasteful, and he could have been confident and reliable. Nonetheless, he still used his ideas in a practical way, especially in his career.

elemental dominance:

air

fire

He was communicative, quick and mentally agile, and he liked to stir things up. He was likely a havoc-seeker on some level. He was oriented more toward thinking than feeling. He carried information and the seeds of ideas. Out of balance, he lived in his head and could be insensitive to the feelings of others. But at his best, he helped others form connections in all spheres of their daily lives. He was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. He generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. He was exciting to be around, because he was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, he could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Confident and opinionated, he was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because he was bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—he was bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at his best, his confidence and vision inspired others to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves.

modality dominance:

cardinal

He was happiest when he was doing anything new, and he loved to begin new ventures. He enjoyed the challenge of claiming territory. He tended to be an initiator—and a bit territorial as well. Also, he had a tendency to start more things than she could possibly finish.

planet dominants:

Moon

Sun

Venus

He was defined by his inner world; by his emotional reactions to situations, how emotions flowed through him, motivating and compelling him—or limiting him and holding him back. He held great capacity to become a part of the whole rather than attempting to master the parts. He wanted to become whatever it was that he sought. He had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. He likely had strong leadership qualities, he definitely knew who he was, and he had tremendous will. He met challenges and believed in expanding his life. He was romantic, attractive and valued beauty, had an artistic instinct, and was sociable. He had an easy ability to create close personal relationships, for better or worse, and to form business partnerships.

sign dominants:

Leo

Libra

Cancer

He loved being the center of attention and often surrounded himself with admirers. He had an innate dramatic sense, and life was definitely his stage. His flamboyance and personal magnetism extended to every facet of his life. He wanted to succeed and make an impact in every situation. At his best, he was optimistic, honorable, loyal, and ambitious. He loved beauty in all its guises—art, literature, classical music, opera, mathematics, and the human body. He usually was a team player who enjoyed debate but not argument. He was, at his best, an excellent strategist and a master at the power of suggestion. Even though he was likely a courteous, amiable person, he was definitely not a pushover. He tried to use diplomacy and intelligence to get what he wanted. At first meeting, he seemed enigmatic, elusive. He needed roots, a place or even a state of mind that he could call his own. He needed a safe harbor, a refuge in which to retreat for solitude. He was generally gentle and kind, unless he was hurt. Then he could become vindictive and sharp-spoken. He was affectionate, passionate, and even possessive at times. He was intuitive and was perhaps even psychic. Experience flowed through him emotionally. He was often moody and always changeable; his interests and social circles shifted constantly. He was emotion distilled into its purest form.

Read more about him under the cut.

Keith John Moon was an English drummer who played with the English rock band the Who. He was noted for his unique style and his eccentric, often self-destructive behaviour. His drumming continues to be praised by critics and musicians. He was posthumously inducted into the Modern Drummer Hall of Fame in 1982, becoming only the second rock drummer to be chosen, and in 2011, Moon was voted the second-greatest drummer in history by a Rolling Stone readers' poll. Moon grew up in Alperton, a suburb of Wembley, in Middlesex, and took up the drums during the early 1960s. After playing with a local band, the Beachcombers, he joined the Who in 1964 before they recorded their first single. Moon remained with the band during their rise to fame, and was quickly recognised for his drumming style, which emphasised tom-toms, cymbal crashes, and drum fills. He occasionally collaborated with other musicians and later appeared in films, but considered playing in the Who his primary occupation and remained a member of the band until his death. In addition to his talent as a drummer, however, Moon developed a reputation for smashing his kit on stage and destroying hotel rooms on tour. He was fascinated by blowing up toilets with cherry bombs or dynamite, and by destroying television sets. Moon enjoyed touring and socialising, and was bored and restless when the Who were inactive. His 21st birthday party in Flint, Michigan, has been cited as a notorious example of decadent behaviour by rock groups. Moon suffered a number of setbacks during the 1970s, most notably the accidental death of chauffeur Neil Boland and the breakdown of his marriage. He became addicted to alcohol, particularly brandy and champagne, and acquired a reputation for decadence and dark humour; his nickname was "Moon the Loon." After moving to Los Angeles with personal assistant Peter "Dougal" Butler during the mid-1970s, Moon recorded his only solo album, the poorly received Two Sides of the Moon. While touring with the Who, on several occasions he passed out on stage and was hospitalised. By their final tour with him in 1976, and particularly during production of The Kids Are Alright and Who Are You, the drummer's deterioration was evident. Moon moved back to London in 1978, dying in September of that year from an overdose of Heminevrin, a drug intended to treat or prevent symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. (x)

#keith moon #leo #tragic stars #long ass post #star analyses #astrology #mine

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survey--s · 2 years

Text

194.

When’s the last time you got your car serviced? What did you have done? I haven’t had it serviced yet because of COVID and work and just generally forgetting, but I did get a new tyre last week as I drove over a nail and got a puncture, lol. The guy came to my house though so the car hasn’t been in the garage.

How often do you need to charge your phone? I just charge it overnight, and I also have my phone plugged into my car for music.

Have you ever needed to call a plumber before? Yeah, for boiler issues and a leaking washing machine.

Do you or anyone in your family own a boat? Nope.

Do you own a desktop computer or a laptop? A laptop. I haven’t used a desktop at all since I left my last job well over two years ago.

What day does your garbage have to go out to the curb for collection? Mondays for regular rubbish, Thursdays for recycling, but they only go out every other week.

Have you ever licked a dog back after it licked you? Nope.

What did you last use an envelope for? What color was the envelope? I got paid by Ian on Thursday and he always puts cash in an envelope for me. The envelope was white.

What’s your favorite flavor lollipop? I’m not really a huge fan of them.

Have you ever eaten dairy-free ice cream before? No.

What pictures are on your mailing stamps? The queen.

Is there a flavor of popsicle that you do not enjoy? Strawberry. It’s just too sweet.

Do you prefer fry cake or glazed type doughnuts, or ones with filling inside? I like donuts with filling in them.

Have you ever broken a mirror before? Just the wing mirror on my car.

Do you pop your pimples or leave them alone? Pop them. I have absolutely no idea how anyone can leave them alone, lol.

Did you participate in school spirit dress up days? No, we don’t have those here.

Have you ever danced while using your hairbrush as a microphone? Of course.

Who is your favorite character from That 70’s Show (if you’ve seen it and enjoyed it) Kitty, Jackie and Red.

Do you prefer hot tea or iced tea? Hot.

What is your opinion about hunting? It’s fine as long as you’re going to eat what you kill.

What is something that scares you? Republicans. <--- amen to that.

Would you rather play Mario Party or Mario Kart? Mario Kart.

Have you ever played The Sims? Which version do you feel is the best? Sims Unleashed.

Do you know anyone who has a hedgehog for a pet? No.

Do you remember the older games like Pong and Pac-Man? Have you ever played them? Yes and yes.

Have you ever been stoned before? No.

Who baked your last birthday cake for you? A girl called Paige who owns the local cake shop.

Do you make an effort to recycle whenever possible? Yes.

How many drinks or shots does it take you to get drunk? Not very many.

Have you ever been to a Bar Mitzvah? No.

Has anything ever blown away from your yard or backyard during a wind storm? Did you get it back? Yes and no.

Is autumn your favorite season? Definitely one of them

Have you ever climbed a tree? Yes, loads of times.

Did you grow up with strict parents, easygoing parents, or overprotective parents? My dad was strict and overprotective, my mum was easygoing.

How high can you jump? Not very.

what’s the hardest drug you’ve done? I’ve never touched any illegal drugs.

Have you ever been in a car accident before? Yeah, it wrote my car off.

How many forms of identification do you have in your wallet? Just the one.

What’s the last thing you were forced (or felt forced) into doing? I don’t remember.

When’s the last time you mowed your lawn? Mike did it on the weekend.

Do you have health insurance? No, we have the NHS.

Do you carry around any photos of others with you? Just the ones that are on my phone.

How often do you shave? Daily.

How much cash do you have on you right now? Zero, I put all cash in my bank account and just use cards.

Can you see your bedroom floor if you go in there right now? Yes.

Do you use a credit or debit card? Both.

Are there any keychains on your keys? No, I have plenty enough keys on there as it is, lol.

Does your house have more hanging lights, standing lamps, or tabletop lamps? Hanging lights.

Pick a cracker: graham, animal, saltine, or Ritz. Ritz.

Have you ever eaten a cold soup before? Yeah.

When’s the last time you fell out of bed? Were you having a dream when it happened? Not since I was a toddler, I don’t think. I don’t remember what happened.

How quickly do you fall for a love interest/crush? It depends on the person.

Do you prefer regular swings or tire swings? Regular, but both can be fun.

Can you fall asleep sitting up? Yeah, but I always end up regretting it.

How hot/spicy do you like your chili? I don’t like anything spicy, it upsts my stomach.

Do you know anyone who is allergic to peanut butter? Yes.

Do you have your driver’s license? How old were you when you got it? Yeah, I was 29.

What toppings would you like on your nachos? Salsa, sour cream, guacamole, cheese and beef.

Do you know anyone who is lactose intolerant? Yeah, lactose intolerance seems pretty common.

If you had the opportunity to move anywhere in the world, where would you choose, and why? Canada, just because there’s nothing I really dislike about it as a country.

Do you know anyone who suffers from seizures? Not to my knowledge.

What are some of your favorite pizza toppings? Ground beef, pepperon, bacon, mozzarella, sweetcorn, sundried tomatoes, olives. Not altogether, though.

If you were trapped in the wilderness, how long do you think you’d be able to survive? It depends on a whole host of things.

what color are the scissors in your house? One pair is black, one pair is orange.

When’s the last time you mailed a package, and to where? A couple of days ago, to Suffolk.

Do you know how to make origami? I used to be able to make a few things, but I can’t remmeber now.

Has anyone ever keyed your car before? Nope.

Do you tend to string people along? I mean, not on purpose, but I think everyone does at some point.

How many different types of tape do you have in your home? I have no idea, three maybe?

What is something in your “junk drawer” at home? Poo bags.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yeah, as in, everyone does what they do for a reason. I don’t believe that our decisions are made for us for any reason, though.

If you have a fireplace where you live, is it fake or real? We have a real woodburning stove.

Have you ever gotten a flat tire before? Yes, a few times.

Is broccoli your favorite green vegetable? If not, what is it? No. I like green beans or cucumber.

Has your house ever gotten egged before? Nope.

What is one of your biggest pet peeves? Bad manners.

Do you buy real or fake Christmas trees? Fake.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Yeah, from the age of about six or seven.

Did you vote in the most recent presidential election? No, as I don’t live in the US.

Have you ever tried a potato latke before? Was it delicious? I have absolutely no idea what that is.

What type of engagement ring would you like? The one I have, which is a half eternity ring made of diamond and rubies.

When going to college, would you prefer to commute or to dorm? I stayed in a dorm in my first year, then in student housing.

Have you ever had to wear an eye patch before? No.

Do you feel that college is necessary in order to be successful? Nope.

How many times in your life have you passed out/fainted? It’s not exactly something I keep track of.

Does your vehicle have 4-wheel drive? Nope.

Have you ever given yourself a haircut as a child? Yes.

Do you have any plans for this weekend? Just feeding Monty in the afternoons, otherwise I have a free weekend.

Have you invested in any sort of stocks? No.

Do you build a gingerbread house at Christmastime? Nope.

Are you more likely to save money or spend money? A mixture of both.

How often do you communicate with your parents? I talk to my mum pretty much everyday. I don’t remember when I last spoke to my dad.

Who is your oldest living relatiive? My step-grandma, if that counts. She’s in her late eighties.

Does your job come with a retirement plan? No, I’m self-employed, but I pay into a private pension.

What’s something you do at night that you don’t do during the daytime? Sleep, go on Reddit.

Have you ever gambled before? Yeah, sure.

Have you ever tried a pierogi before? Nope.

Have you ever blacked out from drinking? Yeah, as a student.

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magpiemorality · 4 years

Note

alright. i have to get it asked. “roommates who never see each other because they work opposite shifts, but now they’re stuck in quarantine and w h o o p s you’re kind cute but also a lil bit of an asshole how long do we have to be quarantined?? oh nooooooo “ w any couple u want!! even a throuple!!!

It’s been a long time coming but here we go! With misunderstandings, pining, denial and a happy ending :D I considered splitting this into parts but it works best as a whole so here you go!

Love In The Time Of Quarantine

3900 words on the dot.

AO3

***

The quarantine was a bit of a bummer. It could’ve been worse, Logan reasoned, because he at least could work from home and keep busy, and he had never worried too much about getting out and being social. He was extraordinarily lucky to be exactly where he would have wanted to be for such an event, well-stocked, well-paid and comfortable.

Unfortunately the same could not be said for his housemates. There were three of them sharing the place, a three-bedroom apartment at the top of a tall block on the outskirts of the city centre. It was nice enough, paid for by three reasonable wages, and had trees and a little park visible from the windows. Logan mostly worked freelance as an IT specialist of all kinds; Patton was apparently a nanny who worked out of home a lot, he knew thanks to the single swift conversation they’d had when the guy had first moved in, caring for his charges at their own home a few blocks away; and Remus was… Logan actually wasn’t sure about him. He was out overnight, coming back early morning to sleep through the day, and didn’t seem to have any specific equipment or work clothing that gave any clues about his job.

In any case, with their contrasting hours and jobs the three of them hadn’t had much of a chance to chat at any point since moving in, and no one had been the first to take the first step in initiating contact. Everyone just cohabited peacefully and that was perfectly fine, suiting them all well enough. But with the quarantine? Things were already changing fast, and the previously calm, quiet and spacious apartment wasn’t going to remain all those things for much longer.

“Oh good morning, Logan!” Patton chirped at 6:00AM on the first Monday morning stuck at home, as Logan dragged himself into the kitchen for his wake up coffee. Logan blinked, staring at what seemed to be most of their food supplies laid out in an enormous breakfast on the kitchen table, everything very neatly arranged and cut into small, bite-sized pieces. “I made breakfast!”

“You, certainly did…” Logan agreed, a little weak with shock. “Aren’t we supposed to be conserving food, however?”

Patton blinked at him, his eyes going wide behind his glasses. He clapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. Logan was surprised his eyes didn’t fill with glittery tears, honestly, with the drama of the rest of the display. “Oh gosh, you’re right! How could I forget?! Oh I’m so sorry, Logan, I’ll go out and replace everything right away, oh no-”

“N-no,” Logan said slowly. “No, Patton you’re not allowed out. That’s the whole point.”

“Not allowed out at all?!” Patton replied, aghast, incidentally summoning their third roommate with the commotion. As Logan tried to placate the inconsolable nanny, promising him that that was an exaggeration and he absolutely could go out but it really was better not to unless there was no other option; the mysterious Remus appeared in the kitchen doorway, rumpled from sleep and not wearing anything but a shirt and some novelty Thanksgiving turkey underwear. Boxers, thank goodness, but still covering no way near enough for what was almost appearing in public, considering how little they all knew each other.

At least the intrusion stopped Patton’s panic, Logan thought, clearing his throat loudly as Patton stared and turned darker and darker pink in the cheeks. Remus was already piling food into his arms (oh okay, they were quite nice arms actually, maybe Patton had the right idea) and mouth, and he didn’t react to Logan’s attempt to politely indicate to him that his behaviour was a little inappropriate. He just nodded and winked at a brightly blushing Patton, and carried his hoard away back to his room. Patton just quietly and heavily sat down at the kitchen table and started absentmindedly smearing cream cheese onto a bagel, and after a moment Logan joined him, silently reaching for the toast.

Well. That was. Hopefully not an indication of how things were going to be from now on. Hopefully. Please?

Unfortunately (or fortunately from some angles) Remus continued to not wear many clothes. It was a terrible problem that both Patton and Logan had strangely and somewhat awkwardly bonded over. The first time the nanny had muttered something profane under his breath as their partial-nudist housemate wandered away back to his room after another appearance in search of food, Logan had stared at him with his mouth hanging open, trying to process those words coming from that mouth. Patton had just sighed and rolled his eyes, folding his arms defensively. “Just because I work with children doesn’t mean I can’t have a good swear now and then, Logan. I mean, you’ve seen that man’s ass!”

Logan had, indeed, seen that man’s ass. It just so happened to be one of those more fortunate angles, and Remus still apparently had something against wearing pants.

Bonding over Remus’s (admittedly very nice) body notwithstanding; the two of them actually got along pretty well. Perhaps it was being used to not having much of a social life that meant they were very comfortable and happy to just hang out quietly together, with Patton sat down at the coffee table embroidering or working on some fan art he apparently had quite the talent for, and Logan reading on one of the couches nearby. He would��ve gone so far as to work out in the living area because Patton was fantastic company and great for his motivation, but the effort involved in moving his entire workstation and cables was beyond reason, and the constant risk of being utterly derailed in whatever he was doing by Remus sashaying past sort of outweighed the benefits of having Patton there. Logan still had to actually get his work done in order to earn a living, after all.

And Remus sashayed a lot. At first it had just been once in the morning and evening as he ended and started his day respectively, probably as a result of the long-term night shift pattern, Logan reckoned. But then as Remus continued to be unable to go back into work he evidently started moving his daily pattern around somewhat. Logan would hear him moving around longer after breakfast, and his music or the sound of whatever he was watching on his laptop (Logan didn’t particularly want to listen too closely but sometimes it was hard not to, having the room that shared a wall), would stop earlier in the night.

He started to strut around more and more often while they were up and out in the living areas, grabbing snacks or wandering around for a stretch, coming to ask Patton what he was doing and leaning far closer than was necessary as Patton blushed his way through an explanation, stammering whenever Remus complimented his work effusively. He was quite the flirt, was Remus, Logan could tell. The guy full on preened at the way Patton’s eyes followed him, and he seemed to take great delight in making the nanny sigh by stretching in just the right way. More than once Patton had pricked his finger with his needle by letting his gaze linger a second too long, or cursed under his breath as he messed up a line on his tablet.

Logan was unaffected of course. Except for the times he had ended up rereading the same page of his book over and over again until Remus was long gone and his brain came back into focus. But those didn’t count! They didn’t count, Patton, stop laughing.

But there was another issue with Remus; he was increasingly messy the more time he spent at home. Patton was pretty clean, used to tidying up after a pair of rambunctious under-tens, and Logan barely made any mess in the first place, eating what Patton cooked and helping clean the dishes afterwards, sticking to his carefully planned laundry routine and rarely deviating. But Remus was just made of mess. He dropped clothing around the bathroom; he left dishes and mugs around; he seemed to order stuff a lot despite the whole quarantine situation (Logan frequently tutted when yet another poor delivery person showed up) and there were piles of cardboard boxes building up in the entrance to their apartment.

When Remus peeled his sock off and scratched at his foot, one afternoon, Logan narrowed his eyes. When Remus got up, leaving it on the arm of the couch when he left to go to his bedroom, Logan finally decided he’d had enough.

“Remus!” He snapped, striding to his room and standing in the doorway before the door could close. Remus turned around with an innocent blink, opening his mouth to say something with a smirk, but Logan got there first. “Do you mind. We’re all having to live in this apartment together and keeping it tidy is important to both me and Patton!”

Remus tilted his head, his eyebrows rising swiftly at the lecture and his smirk dropping in surprise. Patton appeared behind Logan in the hallway, hovering uncertainly. “I reckon Patton can speak for himself, actually,” Remus muttered, folding his arms over his chest with what appeared to Logan to be an actual pout. On a grown man, who was clearly in the wrong. Honestly.

“Oh well, yes. I would like it if you could perhaps… just keep your clothes to your room?” Patton asked weakly. “After all, a tidy house is a tidy mind! We’ll feel a lot better in a clean environment. And… it is a little icky.”

“Fine,” Remus sighed. “I’ll keep it tidy, no more ‘icky’.” Logan nodded in satisfaction and turned to leave but Remus, damn him, had to have the last word, voice dripping with innocent earnestness. “You should’ve said something before if it meant so much to you, guys!”

Patton made a quick excuse Logan away before he could explode, and they both missed the soft sigh behind the door to Remus’s room as it closed.

To be fair to Remus, he was very tidy after that. Remarkably so, in fact, just like he had been before the quarantine had taken effect. Not so much in his room, from the glimpses Logan got inside, but certainly in the rest of the apartment. Annoyingly he’d also apparently taken the confrontation as a good enough first interaction to invite himself into hang out time, somehow not sensing the animosity that radiated from Logan anytime they were in the same room.

Sure, it was his apartment too, and he was equally stuck in it, and when he helped out with the cooking it often resulted in exciting and fun recipes, and he had great taste in movies, and he also brought his something or other console out to hook up to the TV so they could play multiplayer games (after another delivery of extra controllers, of course), but. But! Logan was still never not on edge around him. Remus just… rubbed him the wrong way.

Oh god, wrong word choice there.

Patton of course got on famously with their troublemaker within the space of a few days, and started up a fierce and ongoing online Monopoly game that it seemed no one could win. Perhaps it was his experience with children, Logan thought snidely to himself on more than one occasion. He would hear them laughing together and watch Remus’s hands creeping lower and lower on Patton’s back day by day as they playfully pushed and sat near to each other, until Logan decided to just start spending more time on his work to avoid the inevitable heart attack from how high his blood pressure must be getting. And anyway he’d really let work go, what with spending so much time with Patton instead of on his projects. Just because there was a world crisis going on didn’t mean he didn’t have rent to pay. If only!

But of course Patton didn’t get the memo that this was the best course of action, and quickly grew concerned for Logan’s well-being. He instated a nightly dinner for the three of them, that he deviously used his best pleading expression to get Logan to attend, where Remus was just insufferably flirty and Logan ended up increasingly annoyed at being constantly teased. It just wasn’t very nice of Remus to taunt him with false flattery and it didn’t help that Patton had apparently moved from being equally as flustered as Logan by their hot housemate to being sort of fondly amused, in a way that spoke of… a new intimacy.

It only added to Logan’s dislike of his housemate when he walked past Remus’s bedroom to see them standing close together in the centre of the room, heads tilted so he couldn’t see their faces. He could see other things though, like the way Patton’s hands gripped at Remus’s waist, and Remus’s hand in Patton’s hair.

So that just added the cherry on top of the whole perfect box of proof of why Remus sucked, basically. He had not only stolen Logan’s precious peaceful friendship with Patton, and lured away all of Patton’s soft and warming smiles, but apparently didn’t even value them enough to not openly flirt with Logan whenever they were in the same room. Logan wished desperately that he didn’t still feel that irritating modicum of attraction to the man, because he really was stellar at flirting and could be incredibly charming, but he resigned himself to burying those feelings along with the hurt at how Patton had chosen Remus over him. Burying them deep, and trying to go back to how things were, before the quarantine.

And if anyone could play polite and distant, it was Logan, poster boy for IT nerds everywhere. Antisocial was basically his speciality.

He hadn’t bet on Patton.

Patton was the type of person who really took 'mom friend’ to a whole new level, and only partly because his actual literal paid job was to essentially be a stand in parent. When Logan started to pull away again he yanked back, pouting and wheedling and playing really dirty until Logan started coming back out into the living room for reading breaks again, just to stop Patton from bringing him cups of water and snacks every half an hour 'to make sure he was feeling okay’. They both knew well enough that the ulterior motive was to stop Logan from isolating himself and playing the wounded martyr, and damn it if it didn’t work. Patton was a master of this game.

“Logan, what do you think of this flower?” Patton would ask if Logan ended up in the kitchen for coffee, drawing him into a conversation about his latest embroidery project.

“Logan! Could you pop the kettle on?” Patton would smile sweetly if Logan got up from the couch, intending to go back to his room at last, easily conning him into bringing two mugs back to the couch and then distracting him again until an hour had gone by and Logan was still sat with them.

“Oh there you are Logan, settle this for me, do these stars look realistic?” Patton would bat his eyelashes if Logan finished a bathroom break, and Logan would just sigh and give in, and Remus would stifle a snicker from his own spot on the couch. Remus had also evidently been coached by Patton because he was noticeably quieter and more reserved whenever Logan had finally tentatively settled in the living room with them. Which was a real improvement, if you asked Logan.

But he still wasn’t friends with Remus, and he refused to let that last barrier be breached, even when Remus sneakily tried to join his conversations or get him to pass something at dinner, or tease him about his hair, his clothes, his work… Remus was the worst and Logan could not be convinced otherwise. His plan of hiding away from his housemates had failed because he liked Patton enough to give in just to make him happy, not because Remus was reasonably good company when he was just lounging on the couch and playing some video game with the sound considerately turned down, chipping in here and there and laughing softly at something either Logan or Patton said but not getting in the way. Even so! Logan still heard the sound of footsteps sneaking from Remus’s room to Patton’s late at night, and Remus still insisted on giving him winks and stupid seductive looks whenever he could, telling him he 'liked his company’ and he was 'actually pretty funny who knew’ and 'there’s no one to dress up for here Logan, why don’t you lose the tie?’

“I just don’t like him!” Logan hissed to his reflection one day in the bathroom. “He’s clearly dating Patton, not that either of them have said a word, and he keeps just flirting all over the place! Patton deserves better! And he’s a jerk. I like my tie! I like to maintain professional standards even if he’s decided clothes are the first to go in this time of chaos. Ugh!” He glared, yanking the tie in question off angrily and glaring at it. Maybe he’d thought he looked nice dressed up sharply with his tie and hair neatly combed each day, maybe he’d been thinking of the time Patton had complimented the little stars on the navy fabric. Maybe it was none of Remus’s business how he dressed!

“Hey, you done?” The very man in question’s voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. “I need to pee!”

Logan raised an eyebrow at his reflection, considering it. He was almost petty enough to refuse, but as always was unable not to give in, settling for yanking the door open slightly too hard. Remus, who had apparently been leaning on it for some stupid reason, stumbled inwards a bit, catching his balance on Logan’s hips. They blinked at each other, and Logan knew the moment Remus decided to say something cheeky because his eyes glinted and his mouth turned up at the corners. But not today, Satan!

“You say a word and I will tell Patton what a disrespectful boyfriend you are! I mean it!” Logan hissed, shoving Remus’s hands off with a glare and waggin a finger in his face.

“I- what the f-”

“Don’t you dare flirt with me!”

“Did you say boyfriend?!” Remus said, voice strangled, holding his hands up in the air out of the way.

“Boyfriend?” Patton said from behind them in the hall. “What boyfriend?”

Logan spluttered. “Yours! He’s trying to, to seduce me!”

All of their voices rose at once, Logan protesting his disappointment in Remus’s inability to be attentive to Patton; Patton trying to weakly protest the label and situation; and Remus protesting his accused infidelity. Louder and louder they got, stood awkwardly half in, half out of the bathroom, until Remus growled and grabbed Logan by the shoulders.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Logan!” He snapped. “So I’m going to kiss you now, unless you tell me not to.”

What.

Logan’s mouth opened and closed, cheeks on fire, like flames on the side of his face. He didn’t manage say a word, and Remus nodded decisively to himself, hauling the flustered Logan in for a strangely sweet kiss considering the tension in the air.

It didn’t last long, but Logan felt like he’d awoken into a different universe when Remus pulled back again, looking at him carefully. “Well?” He asked. Logan wondered why Remus would sound like he couldn’t breathe when clearly he’d stolen all of Logan’s air. “Does that compute, I, Lo-bot?”

Logan frowned a little at the nickname, but Remus’s expression was slightly nervous and mostly hopeful, not cruel or mean looking. And Patton, when Logan glanced over Remus’s shoulder, was holding his hands clasped in front of his mouth, eyes huge and round, bouncing a little with what looked like excited anticipation. “Um. That- Excuse me, I seem to have misunderstood a few things.”

“Yeah no kidding,” Remus muttered. “Alright, ask your questions science dude.”

“You aren’t with Patton?”

“Ah well, sort of?” Patton stepped a little closer, lowering his hands to smile at them, hooking his chin over Remus’s shoulder. “It’s not like, exclusive, that’s not really the point. And not your thing, right?” He murmured to Remus, who shook his head, eyes still on Logan.

Okay, add that to the 'known facts’ memory banks to add to the equation then. “So you aren’t cheating on Patton by flirting with me?”

“No!” Patton and Remus replied at the same time, sounding equally offended.

“Okay! Sorry. But you were actually flirting with me?” Logan checked.

The question received a snort and an eye roll. “I mean, yeah. I thought you were just playing hard to get, you kept ogling me so I figured you were definitely interested. But then you got all huffy, so I tried to cool it a bit and Patton said you might be jealous of us a little bit, but then you kept giving me all these like, looks, so I went back to like, trying to be nice and everything but you still just…” Remus shrugged helplessly.

Right, yes. The glances, the blushing… In his own defence he had mostly written it all off as just anger, but it was fair enough that Remus had interpreted the attention a little differently based on the whole fact that he was unaware Logan thought he was cheating.“And… you would like to develop some form of… alternative relationship with myself as well?”

“Yeah!” Patton interrupted, grinning his sweet, bright grin. He slipped a hand past Remus’s waist to take Logan’s hand and squeeze it. “All three of us, doesn’t that sound cool?! I mean, uh, if you want me too, that’s okay if not, I can just share this gu-”

“Oh god yes,” Logan nearly burst with the words. “I mean, yes! I would- yes. Hm. That would be very pleasing. And intriguing. I wonder how-”

Remus tugged him back in close, cupping his face right there in the bathroom doorway with a grin that turned wry. “Oh Logan. I can show you pleasing. But first I gotta pee guys, genuinely!”

They let Remus escape and close the door, and Patton gently led Logan out to the living room, sitting close beside him and turning to face him.

He cleared his throat softly, and Logan thought the nanny looked really beautiful with his cheeks all softly pink, giving him one of those treasured smiles that wiped all thoughts of logistics and practicalities and regrets away. “So. Not a bad way to pass the quarantine then, you reckon?” Patton murmured, brushing some of Logan’s hair back behind his ear and resettling his glasses neatly on his nose for him, before leaning in to steal a kiss of his own.

No, Logan thought a few nights later; sandwiched between his two housemates on the floor, lounging on the cushions they’d laid out for a movie night and warm from their body heat, the way Remus stroked his hair and made constant amusing comments on the movie, and how Patton was cuddling his arm and playing with his fingers, occasionally burying his face into Logan’s shoulder to smother his giggles.

Not a bad way at all.

–

The End

#writepie #intrulogical #logicality #intruality #moduke #intrulogicality #ts remus #ts patton #ts logan #ts writing #ts sanders sides #ts sanders sides aus #ts sanders sides fic #sanders sides #pining #coronavirus #quarantine

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neonweeknds · 3 years

Text

enchanted - PART ELEVEN

*u can read here or on ao3*

PART ELEVEN

summary - It’s opening night.

‘New year, new me’

Jan never understood that saying. Here came the time for all of the Instagram posts of people spewing out their goals for the new year that would be forgotten within the first two weeks.

Jan always disliked that saying because just because the year changed, didn’t mean you were going to become some brand new person overnight. The whole phenomenon was an excuse for people to be versions of themselves that they wished they were. How often have you ever met someone that actually pulled through with their New Years’ resolutions?

People put too much pressure on themselves to be something that they weren’t and then they gave up quickly as a result. Maybe that was why Jan never resonated with those words because come a new year, she was still the same old Jan she wished she wasn’t.

This year felt different.

Jan realized coming into the new year that everyone went at their own pace when it came to making a change. She realized the better way to go about change is realizing that you're making small and steady improvements every day. Jan used to bend over backwards to fit in. Every year, like everyone else, she wanted to suddenly transform into this person that she wasn’t for the sake of others.

But after this year, she recognized that she didn’t have to do that. People don't spend enough time loving themselves for who they are and spend too much time idolizing images of what they believed was ‘perfect’, and Jan was guilty of doing that. What she didn’t realize at the time was that there was no such thing as perfect and that change isn't something that was going to happen right away.

It was going to take time and Jan was willing to spend the time needed to change…to make herself better.

Real growth took time.

Which was how Jan found herself going to therapy for the first time. The topic was brought up by a concerned Jackie who witnessed Jan fall into a small depressive episode after she didn’t do so well on a big test that she had.

She just spiralled afterwards.

“Can I ask you something?” Jackie laid beside the blonde, running her fingers through her hair.

Jan hummed and Jackie sighed, “Have you ever considered therapy?”

Jackie said the words like she had been waiting to say them long ago. Jan frowned and turned around, “Hear me out,” Jackie said. “The school offers a really great program for students. And it’s free of charge. I know Crystal did it for a bit when she first moved here…what’s the worse that could happen?” Jackie reasoned.

Jan huffed, “I’ve made it eighteen, almost nineteen years without going to see a therapist...I think I’ll be fine,”

“Jan…” Jackie sighed.

“Jackie I don’t—“ but she paused when she saw her face. Jan knew Jackie was just trying to help. Jackie was far more open than Jan, she was willing to talk things through, figure out the issue whereas Jan was not.

But she was trying.

Jan gave in, allowing her to continue, “Going to therapy is a good thing okay?…I know you, and I know you probably think that going to therapy is like giving up because you can’t get better by yourself and you need someone else’s help. But that’s not a bad thing...it doesn’t mean that you’re giving up, or that you’re weak. Frankly, it means the opposite because you’re actively trying to get better…you’re self-aware that you need a little extra help and that’s okay,”

“If I go see a therapist they’re going to have a stroke within the first five minutes,” Jan grunted.

“Oh cmon, it’ll take more than five minutes,” Jackie joked and managed to get Jan laughing as well. “They’re there to listen to you. Talk about whatever you want…I just think it would benefit you a lot in the long run. I mean, it helped me when I did it,”

This was news to her, “You’ve done therapy?”

Jackie nodded, “After my mom sorta…disowned me, my dad thought it was a good idea. I went for a couple of years but stopped in high school,”

Jan turned on her back and sighed. This clearly meant a lot to her. “I never knew that,”

“We need one sane person in this relationship,” and Jan chuckled, pushing Jackie away from her jokingly. “Think about it at least?” Jackie said.

“Okay,” she nodded.

She thought about it long and hard after that night. Their conversation never settled and Jan thought about it a lot. She never really considered therapy before. Jackie was right, Jan felt like she was admitting defeat if she went to therapy. It was as if she wasn’t good enough to get better on her own.

But maybe that was okay.

Her sisters tried to get her to go to therapy after her parents and Adore passed away but Jan refused. At the time, she had already accepted the fact that no one could take away her pain, no one could make her feel better and no one could fix the broken mess she was inside.

It wasn’t like Jan didn’t want to get better because she wanted that more than anything. She was just scared to once again...to be vulnerable. She felt like a lot of herself had changed and grown in the last few months but then again…there was still plenty of room for even more change and growth.

Jan attended her first therapy session in February. She didn’t like admitting when she was wrong but she felt relieved walking out of her first session with her new therapist. During the beginning, Jan was skeptical, like anyone would be. Her therapist was a lady named DeLa and at first, Jan kept wondering why she was smiling so much. Jan didn’t talk for a while and DeLa wasn’t forcing her to. She always thought therapists were supposed to be overbearing and pushy to try and get you to talk but DeLa was just sitting there, waiting for Jan when she was ready.

And so Jan started to feel a little bad that she might be wasting her time. She contemplated getting up and leaving, apologizing and telling her maybe another time.

But then she remembered Jackie.

She had to do this.

In the end, it wasn’t as bad as she perceived. She felt different, in a good way and therapy became a regular thing for her to attend every week.

In between school, work, the musical, therapy and being an overall friend and girlfriend, Jan was busy.

Her classes this semester had a much bigger load than her previous ones. She was taking some continuations of classes she took in her first semester like acting and vocal techniques but she was starting some new ones like music theory and movement theory. She wasn’t very excited about her anatomy class that was required as a science credit but she would push through it.

Besides, Jackie was a great study partner.

When it came to studying, she had tried to ask Gigi but she was pretty useless when it came to scientific facts about the body rather than what kind of outfit to create for the body. She didn’t even bother asking Crystal because that girl hadn’t taken a science class since high school. She knew nobody in that particular class and when she mentioned it to her girlfriend, Jackie jumped at the opportunity to help her study for the countless quizzes and tests she had.

She never mentioned having trouble in the class to Jackie before mostly because she knew that she was just as busy, with her own classes, her job at Brita’s along with directing Into the Woods.

One night, when Jan was cramming for a test that she had the next day and was practically hyperventilating on her bed, Jackie was being a good girlfriend and surprising her with some smoothies. You can imagine that she was not expecting to walk in on Jan ripping her hair out due to stress with a pile of unorganized flashcards sitting around her bed.

First, Jackie helped calm her down and they spent the whole night studying together. Then, when Jackie asked her why she hadn’t told her about this, they had another talk about why communication was key in a relationship since they both knew this could’ve been avoided if the blonde had just talked to her.

Now it had become routine anytime Jan had a quiz or test in her anatomy class.

Which was a lot.

So for the most part, Jackie was great help.

Jan would go over to Jackie’s or the brunette would go to her dorm to help her study. When Jackie was helping her, it suddenly clicked and Jan went into those tests and quizzes, knowing she was going to ace them. But at the same time, Jackie was very distracting. Every single time they studied together, within twenty minutes they were doing the opposite of reciting all the bones you found in your body.

It was partially Jan’s fault for getting caught staring at Jackie most of the time. She couldn’t help it though, her girlfriend was just so pretty.

And hot.

It wasn’t like Jackie was doing anything to stop it.

Listen, Jan liked sex. Especially now that she knew good sex existed.

Sex with Jackie though, was on a whole different level. She remembered their first time together like it was yesterday. Jan was extremely nervous only because she was still super inexperienced and had only ever had sex with Lemon. Their friends with benefits thing quickly dissipated after the whole…party ordeal. Jan knew Jackie had had a few girlfriends here and there so she was just scared that she was going to fuck something up and embarrass herself.

They had just gotten back from a movie night with a huge group of friends. Jan was staying over at Jackie’s for the night since Gigi already called dibs on having the room to herself with Crystal.

One thing led to another and Jan had officially felt like she had gone to heaven and back. Now they could barely keep their hands off of each other when left alone for longer than five minutes. In Jan’s defence, they still studied when they were together…just not the whole time.

It was mid-march now and times were extremely stressful. Midterms were now finished but that was the least of her problems.

Tonight was opening night for Into the Woods and Jan was close to calling it quits. Over the last few weeks, it had been rehearsals none stop. Although the cast had been practicing on and on for months now, Jan still felt like the second she got on stage she was going to mess up.

This wasn’t Jan’s first production so she didn’t understand why the nerves were eating away at her. She had done plenty of musicals back in Maine in front of a huge group of people. Then again, this wasn’t her small hometown anymore. She was attending a school that had over fifty thousand people. This theatre held a little less than five hundred people. When rehearsing in this theatre after months, it never clicked in Jan’s head how big it actually was.

When she auditioned, she had it in her head that it would only be a very select group of people from her school attending and that was it.

But no.

This musical was open to the public so anyone could waltz in and watch her fall flat on her face or fuck up a high note.

Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off. It was absolute madness because, in less than thirty minutes, the show would start.

It wasn’t like Jan felt underprepared, because she was prepared. Hell, they even pushed opening night back by a whole month and a half to assure that everything was perfect. Jan knew Jackie was happy about that because if they had done the show in January like they originally had planned, nothing would have gone right. They were now going to be running the musical until the end of May, doing shows on the weekends only while they rehearsed during the week.

Jan knew the reason she was nervous tonight was that everyone she knew was here. Lagoona, Rosé who surprisingly came with Denali, Gigi, Crystal, Jaida, Widow, Rock, Heidi and a lot more. Not to mention everyone else from her school, professors and random strangers.

Talk about pressure.

She had even gotten flowers from Jinkx, who wished she could be here on opening night but Jan promised her boss some tickets for another show. At rehearsals this morning, Jan got another delivery of flowers from the one and only Lemon. She was out of town right now for a dance competition so she couldn’t make it, again promising to catch another show of hers.

She and Lemon had become increasingly closer over the last few months. Turns out, Jan and Lemon were much better friends than what they were previously. Lemon was still pretty hopelessly in love with her ex, Priyanka. Jan started talking to Lemon again a little after the Christmas holidays, apologizing profusely for everything that had happened. Lemon opened up saying that she and Priyanka got to talking again and that they were working on getting back together. A few short weeks later, Lemon was calling to tell her the exciting news that they were back to being girlfriends again.

Jan had just finished doing her makeup and she was being laced up in her dress for the first scene. “Knock, knock,” someone called. Jan peaked her head around the foldable changing wall that was set up for them to be able to do quick changes. Jan was greeted with her roommate’s beaming smile.

“Awe...you came to see me, how sweet,” Jan smiled.

“Just making sure you’re still intact,” Gigi laughed, “For you, miss broadway star,” she said and handed her a beautiful bouquet of pink roses.

“Thanks, Geeg...I really appreciate you coming to spend your Friday night watching me bomb in front of hundreds of people,”

“Bomb? No, I did not drag my ass here on a Friday to watch you bomb! You’re gonna kill it!” Gigi insisted.

She sighed but nodded nonetheless, “Where’s Crystal?” Jan asked, changing the subject.

Gigi shrugged, “Getting our seats...I think,”

“So you left her all alone,” Jan said.

“Fine, next time I won’t surprise you and bring you flowers like a good roommate and best friend would do,” Gigi said and Jan jokingly shoved her. “She’s fine, she’s literally just holding our seats— holy crap, by the way, it was so packed in there already, literally full—“ but Gigi stopped talking once she saw Jan’s worried face. “I mean, it’s sooooooo empty out there…a total ghost town…”

“It’s fine, everything is fine. It’s fine,” Jan said.

“Uh—“

“Everything’s gonna be good. I’m calm, I’m calm—“

“Are you sure? Because you’re squishing the flowers…” Gigi pointed out to Jan’s hand that was clutching the roses tightly.

“Ugh!” she set them down on a nearby table, “Why did five-year-old me have to discover that Hannah Montana karaoke machine? Is it too late to become a doctor? Lawyer maybe? Oh, I know! I’ll be a pilot, they make bank and they don’t have to sing in front of five hundred people!” Jan panicked.

Gigi placed a hand on her hip, “Okay, first of all, you got a paper cut the last time we got coffee and you couldn’t even look at your own finger, much less internal organs! Second of all, Legally Blonde is not a good representation of being a lawyer and you need to stop thinking it is! You’re not going to be like Elle Woods if you magically become one! Third of all, a pilot? Really? They might not have to sing in front of people but they are responsible for getting across the world and honestly, how will you do that if you get lost walking back to your dorm?...Jan, this is your moment, okay? You’re going to go out there, absolutely destroy your part in the best way, wow the fuck out of everybody out there and make everyone fall in love with you! Got it? And I’m not taking no for an answer,” Gigi said.

“Okay but-“

“Nope, I’m not having this. Repeat after me—“

“Gigi? Really?”

“Repeat!” she shouted, “I, Jan Mantione…”

Jan gave up and sighed, “I, Jan Mantione…”

“Broadway megastar—“

Jan rolled her eyes, “Hardly,” she mumbled under her breath thinking Gigi wouldn’t catch it. But she did and she gave Jan the stink eye. “Broadway megastar…” Jan repeated.

“Am going to crush tonight’s show, because this is what I was meant to do,” she finished.

“Am going to crush tonight’s show, because this is what I was meant to do,” Jan said.

“Now, I’m not tolerating any of this negativity. I know you’re nervous but babe, you’ve been rehearsing for months on end. You could recite this shit in your sleep. And I would know because you’ve done it before—“

“Uh? I have not!” Jan defended.

“Why do you think I invested in earplugs?”

Jan scoffed, “Whatever,”

“Now channel your inner Cinderella and play that role like your life depends on it— because it kinda does,” she said.

Jan truly loved her best friend at that moment, “You’re annoying,”

“Yet you still love me,” Gigi batted her eyelashes, “I love you, you’re gonna do amazing,”

“Love you too, Geeg…now go find your poor girlfriend,”

“See you out there! Good luck!”

And with those final words, her roommate’s head of blond hair disappeared again. She had to admit, seeing Gigi helped a lot. She did feel slightly less nervous now— only slightly but it was better than nothing.

Jan watched as some of the crew members walked by and it instantly reminded her of Jackie. She hadn’t seen Jackie since this morning when she left her dorm. Undoubtedly, she was probably just as nervous, if not more than Jan. She knew how much this whole thing meant to Jackie. She had poured her heart and soul into this musical along with the other directors and she was so proud to see it come to life after months of working.

Jan was fixing her hair when she saw her walk by in the mirror. A clipboard practically glued to her hand and a head seat on, Jackie was giving instructions to one of the tech guys in the crew. He was nodding vigorously and Jan knew how intense Jackie could be, especially right now. She turned around, ready to walk away but Jan caught her arm.

“Hey— long time no see,”

Jackie’s intense face melted away immediately as she smiled, “You look absolutely stunning,”

“And you look like you’re going to punch the next person who fucks something up,”

Jackie rolled her eyes, “It’s not my fault half of the tech department has zero brain cells! You should’ve seen what this one little freshman was trying to do—“

“Freshman standing right here,” Jan’s scoffed jokingly.

Jackie huffed, “Sorry— I just need this to go well! Oh! Also! My dad just called me and he said that he ran into Michelle fucking Visage! Now, this whole night has to go extra perfect or else I quit my directing career before it even starts!”

Jan’s eyes widened, “Michelle Visage? Like the critic?”

Jackie nodded and Jan gulped.

She was good...she was cool, calm and collected. Definitely not screaming on the inside.

Michelle Visage was a huge deal when it came to anything broadway. To have her come to a show was an honour in itself but her critiques on broadway musicals were taken extremely seriously by others. If she gave the show a bad review, this wouldn’t bode well for the next weeks they’re supposed to be performing. “How did she even—“ Jan asked.

Jackie shrugged, “I have no idea! I mean, this is a huge deal but at the same time I would rather anyone else here than her to critique the fucking show! My dad said the resting bitch face was even scarier in person!” she sighed.

“Okay…okay, it’ll be fine! We’ve been practicing for months now and— wait! Did you say your dad? Your dad is here?” the words finally registering into her brain.

“Uh yeah! I thought I told you that? He flew in this morning…” Jackie said.

Jan shook her head immediately, “No, you definitely did not mention that your dad was going to be here!”

Jackie looked guilty for a second, “Oops,”. Jan felt more panicked about meeting Jackie’s dad than doing the show in front of five hundred people and Michelle Visage. Was this how Jackie felt when she was meeting her sisters? “Baby, don’t worry. He’s gonna love you, okay?”

Suddenly, Jackie was being called over by Monét. Jackie gestured that she would be a moment before giving Jan her full attention again, “In ten minutes, you’re going to go out there and kill it,”

Jan nodded, “So are you. We both are,”

“I love you,” Jackie whispered against her lips, “Thank you for just…being you,”

“I love you too. So much,” Jan smiled and the couple locked lips for the last time until the show was over.

“Break a leg!” Jackie smiled and Jan nodded, “Good luck,” she said as she watched Jackie kick back into director mode with Monét.

Jan didn’t have much time to do anything but a bathroom break before she was being whisked away to the stage along with her other cast members. Suddenly, one of the stage managers was counting down from 3, 2, 1 and the opening notes of the first song started playing.

If Jan had to describe what it felt like being on stage she would say exhilarated. Her adrenaline was pumping and all the nerves she previously felt dissipated. In the back of her mind, Jan knew there were less than five hundred people in the audience but if you told her there were over a thousand, she would believe you. It just seemed to stretch on and on. There was this really zen, focused thing that happened with such a big audience when they got really into what you’re doing. Even if they thought Jan was doing a shitty job at performing her role...she felt too accomplished and too proud to stress about any of them. It was still and surprisingly peaceful. Although Jan knew there were hundreds of eyes on her, they didn’t seem to matter at all.

She felt most at home on stage...she felt like she had really come alive, singing her heart out for the audience.

The whole musical was two hours long but Jan felt like it had passed by in ten minutes. Soon enough, their first show was over.

She couldn’t wait to do it again.

Her favourite part was when at the very last scene when they sang the finale of Children Will Listen. The second the last strum of strings hit and the crowd erupted into applause was something Jan would never forget. She caught sight of Jackie, all the way in the back of the auditorium clapping and smiling brightly.

At that moment, Jan saw herself doing this onstage at sixty and honestly, she couldn’t wait.

She wasn’t sure exactly how it happened but Jan went from hugging Jaida to suddenly being faced with Michelle Visage.

Jackie’s dad was right about her resting bitch face. Her hair was slicked back into a high ponytail, she had on glasses and a pantsuit along with expensive-looking heels. She was stood beside Jackie who looked surprisingly calm to be standing someone who had such a big influence in the whole broadway community. Frankly, Jan couldn’t care less about Michelle and she just wanted to kiss Jackie and tell her how amazing the show went.

“Jan Mantione?” she asked and Jan nodded. Michelle finally broke her stoic facial expression and gave the blonde a small smile, “I’m Michelle Visage. It’s nice to meet you,”

Jan smiled, shaking her hand, “It’s nice to meet you too. Thank you for coming...did you like the show?” she hesitated a bit when asking that last part. Jan wasn’t really sure how she was supposed to behave in front of someone like her.

Michelle sighed, “No, I didn’t like it,”

Jan physically felt like her heart had just shattered. She didn’t even want to look at Jackie’s expression right now. Jan opened her mouth but she couldn’t find the words to say. Luckily, Michelle beat her to it, “I didn’t like it because I loved it,”

“Oh my god,” Jan laughed in relief, “You really shouldn’t scare people like that,” Jan said.

Michelle cracked another smile at her reaction, “Gotta live up to my reputation,” and Jan instantly knew that Michelle wasn’t the person everyone made her out to be. “I was really impressed honestly…that’s not meant to be a read either,” she laughed, “It’s just...you guys are college kids and this was insanely well-produced, well-directed, everything was just wow— I really don’t have anything bad to say. Especially you, Jan. Wow times a million. I hear you’re a freshman?” she asked her.

Jan nodded and Michelle seemed even more impressed, if that was possible at this point, “I don’t usually do this…” she reached into her bag and handed Jan a business card, “I know you’re still in school but, over the summer, I have some great internship opportunities for you. If you’re interested, of course,”

Jan grabbed the card without hesitation, “Um obviously!” but then she realized how unprofessional that might’ve come off, “I mean, yes of course I would be. Thank you so much,”

Michelle nodded and turned to Jackie, “Great work. All of you,”

“Thank you for coming to the show Ms. Visage, seriously, what an honour,” Jackie said.

“The pleasures all mine…now I must get going. Have a great run and congratulations again,” and with that, she disappeared through the crowd.

Jan was still stunned at the moment, “Did Michelle Visage just say she liked my directing,” Jackie said, starstruck.

“Yes, she fucking did! Jacks! This is huge!” Jan screeched, jumping into her girlfriends’ arms and holding on as she spun her around. “My career isn’t over!” Jackie screamed, “And baby she loved you!”

“I can’t believe Michelle Visage liked my performance!”

“You fucking killed it, baby,” Jackie smiled, “You were born to be a star,” and she placed her lips on Jan’s.

They continued kissing until they heard a voice approach. “Um was that Michelle fucking Visage?”

The couple broke apart and turned around to see Crystal, Gigi, her sisters, Denali and an unfamiliar face who Jan instantly knew was Jackie’s dad. The one who spoke was Rosé.

“You actually know who that is?” Jan said to her sister.

“I can be cultured about broadway stuff,” she scoffed.

Jan rolled her eyes, “You’re smiling so that means she didn’t shit on your dreams, right?” Rosé asked.

Jackie grinned, “She loved the musical! Said she was really impressed!”

The whole group burst into cheers, congratulating Jackie and Jan. “You guys killed it, Jan, I had no idea you could sing like that!” Denali praised.

“Thanks!”

“I’m so freaking proud of you Jan! My little baby’s all grown up!” Gigi fake tearing up as she pulled Jan into a bone-crushing hug. “You were insane out there!” she let go of Jan and looked towards Jackie, “And you are freaking insane for putting this together! Congrats you two!” Gigi said.

“It was really good!” Crystal added.

Gigi leaned over and whispered, “She almost cried,” and Jan giggled. Crystal immediately gave Gigi a look, “Stop telling people I almost cried!”

Gigi smiled, “I get it! The giant dying is really sad,”

“Really? You cried at that part?” Jan said.

“No better than Goona here crying in the first scene,” Rosé interrupted.

Lagoona scoffed, “Oh sure, throw me under the bus now…I can’t help it! I’m just so proud of you, I can’t believe this is your first big broadway show!” Lagoona smiled.

“Thanks, Goona. And thank you all for coming to the show!” Jan said, “If you guys want, there’s free drinks in the lounge back there—“

“Already on it!” Rosé yelled and quickly enough, everyone followed her and Jan and Jackie were left alone again.

Well almost.

“You girls absolutely smashed it— is that was kids are saying these days?” Jackie’s dad chuckled as he shrugged.

“You liked it?” Jackie asked.

“I would come to watch it every single show if I could,” he nodded, “Really proud of you, kiddo,”

Jan watched almost in awe at Jackie interacting with her dad. It was clear they had a special connection and Jan loved seeing Jackie like this. “You must me Jan, my daughter won’t shut up about you,”

Jan snapped back to reality, “It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Cox,”

“None of that formal crap, please. It makes me feel old, do you think I’m old, Jan?” he questioned.

Jan was stunned, “What? No—“

“I’m very sensitive about my age, now why would you bring that up—“

“But no! I wasn’t—“

Her dad burst out laughing and Jan paused momentarily, “I’m kidding! Sorry! It’s a rule, I always gotta mess with Jackie’s girlfriends! Man, they always get freaked out,”

Jackie sighed like she knew it was inevitable, “I forgot to warn you he’d do that” she said.

He shrugged, “Too late, I can’t break tradition now,”

“It’s a tradition to scare my girlfriends?”

“Does she look scared? Jan, are you scared?” her dad asked.

Jan laughed, “Scared? No. A little confused? Maybe,” she joked.

“I like you,” is all her dad says, “Much better than that backstabbing model,”

“Dad!” Jackie gaped.

“Thank you, I second that opinion,” Jan giggled and she looked over at Jackie and shrugged, “What? You know it’s true,”

Jackie just shook her head in amusement, “You gonna come to the after-party?” she asked her dad. “And what? Party with a bunch of twenty-year-olds?” he laughed, “I’m perfectly fine in my hotel room. I think I’ll skedaddle now actually…we’ll meet up for lunch before I leave, okay?” he said.

Jackie nodded, pulling her dad in for a hug, “Congratulations on the show you two. Nice to meet you Jan,” and he surprisingly gave Jan in for a hug as well.

They were finally left alone again, backstage being fairly empty. Pretty soon, the whole cast and crew of the musical were headed to an after-party at some sort of club. “I think tonight calls for a celebration, what d’you think?” Jan smiled.

Jackie smirked, leaning in closer, “I can think of a few ways we can celebrate” she whispered.

The after-party was fun but it was the last thing on Jan’s mind. The whole time at the club, Jackie kept relentlessly teasing her, whether it be a hand on her inner thigh while they were sitting down at the bar, a hand on her ass while they danced or even deep sensual kisses that had Jan melting on the spot, she wouldn’t stop teasing.

Jan was frustrated because all she wanted to do was rip Jackie’s clothes off but she couldn’t. They were in a crowded bar, with a group of their friends and Jan didn’t really want to have sex in a dingy club bathroom.

Jan had been nursing a single vodka soda all night because she knew they had another show tomorrow and she couldn’t risk being hungover. Most of her friends were drunk now. She was currently watching an extremely intoxicated Gigi try and braid a strangers hair. Jackie was sitting beside her, drinking the same thing as her as she talked to Widow about…something.

Jan didn’t know and honestly, she didn’t care because she was too distracted by the hand that was inching closer and closer to her inner thigh as the seconds ticked by. Jackie was very aware of what she was doing because anytime Jan tried to inch away, the brunette was scooting with her.

“That’s crazy…I can’t believe he did that,” Jackie shook her head at whatever Widow just said. Jan tried to pay attention to their conversation but she missed out entirely on what they were talking about, “Insane…” Jan chimed in. Jackie carried on the conversation as if her fingers weren’t two inches away from her underwear. Jan blamed herself because she chose to wear a dress tonight, giving Jackie plenty of access. All she was thinking about was what was to come later tonight when they went back to her place.

Jan zoned out again until she felt the band of her underwear being lifted and snapped back against her skin, causing her to jolt, her knee hitting the underside of the table in the process. The club was blaring music still, so nobody heard what cause Jan to move like that. Immediately, Widow gave her a look, “You good girl?”

“Yeah, you zoned out for a second there,” Jackie added and Jan knew what kind of game she was playing.

“I’m perfectly fine— doing great,” she said through gritted teeth. Widow shrugged as if she was used to this by now.

Once again, they continued talking as if Jackie’s hand wasn’t under her dress right now. This time, she focused on the dance floor where she spotted Gigi and Crystal dancing to Low with Jaida close by. Jan was biting her lip so hard she was sure it was going to start bleeding.

The thing was, although Jackie was teasing the shit out of Jan, she liked it.

It just made her more eager.

Jan felt Jackie’s fingers move past the band of her underwear and the second she felt them graze her center, she bolted upright. She knew Jackie could feel how wet she was getting, “Um,” she realized Widow’s and Jackie’s eyes were on her, her girlfriend sporting a shit-eating grin, “I’m not feeling the best right now. Can we go? Just so I can rest before tomorrow,” Jan added.

They bid goodbye to their friends and hitched a taxi back to Jackie’s dorm. The whole ride back was a blur to Jan. Her leg was bouncing up and down because Jackie’s hand still managed to stay glued to her thigh. The ride seemed to last forever as Jan’s arousal tripled by the minute.

The second they got inside the building and the elevator doors closed, Jan was pouting. “You’re mean,”

Jackie smirked, “It’s not my fault you chose to wear the shortest dress known to mankind,” and luckily they were alone otherwise a stranger would’ve gotten an eyeful of her girlfriend grabbing her ass.

Jan visibly melted under her touch and it just drove Jackie’s ego up the wall. The elevator doors reopened and Jackie wasted no time in dragging her back to their dorm, locking the door behind them immediately when they entered. “Don’t act like you weren’t teasing me back there either,” Jackie tutted.

Jan’s mouth fell open, “Uh I was not—“

“Because sitting on my lap instead of the empty chair beside me is completely normal, right?” and Jan shut her mouth instantly because she knew Jackie was right. Back at the club, Jan was getting visibly and sexually frustrated with Jackie so when they sat down for a bit after dancing, she planted herself right on her girlfriends’ lap, making sure to readjust and move as often as possible, giving her a taste of her own medicine.

“If you wanted to leave so I could fuck you, all you had to do was ask, baby” Jackie smiled, pushing Jan against the nearest wall, her lips finding the underside of Jan’s neck.

“Jackie…” Jan whined.

“Hm,” she hummed in response. Jackie’s hands were roaming every inch of Jan’s body.

“Please…”

Jan could feel Jackie smirk against her neck, “Still waiting for you to use your words…”

Jan huffed. “Tell me what you want, baby,” Jackie said.

For once, Jan ignored her stubborn nature and gave in, “Jackie, I need you to fuck me,”

Jackie satisfied with the answer, mumbled a quiet “Good girl,” that had Jan’s knees shaking. She knew exactly what to do to make Jan turn into putty.

Jackie’s hand slid from Jan’s waist to under her dress like she had done earlier in the night, her hand moved past her underwear, tracing her fingers along Jan’s slit. “Look at how wet you are already and I’ve barely touched you,”

Jan moaned and instantly spread her legs, allowing Jackie to have easy access. “It’s your fault,” Jan said shakily.

“It’s my fault you were thinking about me fucking you while we were out with our friends?” Jackie tapped the inside of Jan’s thigh, “Is that what you were thinking about?” she ran her fingers along Jan’s slit again. Jan didn’t answer, too caught up in the sensation of Jackie’s fingers.

“Tell me,” Jackie insisted.

Jan snapped back to reality once she no longer felt Jackie’s fingers, missing the feeling already. She nodded immediately, “I was,”

Jackie instantly slid two fingers inside of Jan, causing her to moan loudly as her head fell forward onto Jackie’s shoulder. Jan could barely stand up straight as Jackie thrust her fingers inside and out of Jan.

Suddenly everything stopped and Jan whined when she felt Jackie remove her fingers. “I don’t think you want me to fuck you against a wall, no matter how needy you might be,”

Jackie dragged a completely fucked out Jan to her bedroom, where she threw the blonde on her bed. Jan felt hazy, her hair sprawled out on the bed as Jackie crawled on top of her. Jackie felt for the zipper on the side of Jan’s dress and slid it down slowly, removing the purple material from Jan’s body, leaving her in just a pair of white lace bra and panties.

“You’re a vision,” Jackie whispered before crashing their lips together. Jan was whining delicately because she never wanted to stop kissing Jackie but at the same time, she just wanted her fingers back inside of her. Jan’s hands found their way underneath Jackie’s top and gestured for her to pull it off, along with the rest of her clothes. No matter how many times they had seen each other naked, Jan would never get tired of it.

Jan hooked her leg around Jackie’s body and pulled her close so their skin was against one another. The only thing that was separating them were their undergarments but they were thrown onto the floor soon after.

Jackie began kissing a slow path along Jan’s chest and then up her neck, humming at the small noises Jan was making. “Touch me, please,” Jan managed to say.

Jackie didn’t waste time.

She hovered over Jan, using her leg to keep hers spread open. She kissed down Jan’s stomach and kept making her way down further and further. The longer she took the more eager Jan was. Jackie was so close, she felt her breath against her skin. “Jackie—“ but she didn’t even get to finish her sentence as she was cut off by Jackie placing tiny kisses around her clit. Jan moaned and gripped the bedding as her tongue began flicking over her folds.

Of all the times they have had sex, it felt different, new and exciting every single time.

Catching Jan off guard, Jackie’s tongue flicked against her clit making her gasp and reach to grab ahold of her girlfriend’s hair. Jackie looked up at Jan, silently asking for permission before she slid two fingers inside of the blonde as she also wrapped her lips around Jan’s clit.

The feeling of both actions at the same time was enough to send Jan’s head flying backwards onto the bed as she moaned and writhed underneath Jackie’s touch. She knew she was being loud, she wouldn’t be surprised if the whole building could hear her sinful moans. She tried to quiet herself but the way Jackie’s tongue was working on her clit at the same time her fingers were pumping in and out of her was physically impossible.

Plus she knew how much Jackie loved how loud she was in bed.

Jan’s entire body twitched when she felt Jackie’s finger curl inside of her, “Holy fuck,” Jan moaned. Her thighs began to twitch and it was hard to keep still even with Jackie’s leg holding her in place.

“You look so pretty baby, laid out like this…desperate for me to touch you,” Jackie said against her center as she watched from below.

Jan nodded eagerly, “Please don’t stop, Jackie”, she whined.

Who was Jackie to deny her of that? She continued her movements until Jan was a mess of incoherent whines and moans, gripping anything that was near as she came on Jackie’s tongue.

Jan was completely blissed out, head against the bedding and eyes shut. Jackie crawled up beside her, placing a kiss on her lips, Jan immediately tasting herself. Suddenly, Jackie was pressed up against the bed as Jan had swung herself on top of her girlfriend, continuing to kiss her.

Their night of celebration was not even close to ending.

Jan was woken up at noon the next morning by loud screaming, coming from outside of Jackie’s bedroom.

Jan bolted upright out of bed and ran out the room, “What? What’s happening?” she shouted, “Is there a fire? Murderer? Lady Gaga is going on tour? What?” she added.

Jackie stood in the middle of her kitchen, hand over her mouth in shock, tears brimming in her eyes. “Jacks…? What’s going on?”

Jackie shook her head and removed the hand from her mouth, revealing a smile. Relief filled Jan that it wasn’t anything bad but she was still left confused.

“Michelle Visage released the article…” she trailed off.

“And…” Jan was a little afraid to hear what Jackie had to say.

“Come here,” Jackie gestured beside her and handed her the phone that was open to the article already.

Jan began reading slowly and soon enough she understood exactly what Jackie was feeling because she felt it too. “Oh my god!” she shouted.

“I know!” Jackie said in response.

“This is like— this is fucking huge!” Jan screeched.

Jackie nodded, “Uh-huh! It’s major! This—“ she paused, “This review could quite literally jumpstart my career! And yours! Everyone who was in the musical!”

Jan couldn’t believe it.

She read the article over and over again and she still couldn’t believe that it was real. “The entire musical was organized by university students of NYU and it is some of the best directing, producing, acting and singing I have seen in my entire career,”

Both Jan and Jackie screamed in unison after reading that part of the article.

Jan really could not believe her eyes, “And if you can resist its luscious newcomer, Jan Mantione, who is only eighteen years old, you are beyond the help of potions and spells,” Jan was smiling from ear to ear.

She continued reading, “The whole musical was able to come together impeccably due to the tireless work put in by the directors, Jackie Cox, Monét X Change and Tina Burner. If you haven’t seen this adaptation yet…what are you waiting for?” she finished.

Both girls looked at each other in utter shock.

And it was just the beginning.

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1152

survey by emptyspaces

What song reminds you of being in middle school? Patron Tequila was a huuuuuuuuuge bop in 5th grade, and I can tell you too many kids who were too young for the song nevertheless vibed hard to it. Down by Jay Sean also reminds me of mid-elementary school. I believe both have so far been one-hit wonders, lol.

What was the first thing you learned how to cook? I don’t cook cook, but I remember we had one day in like preschool when we were taught how to make homemade pizza. That was the first dish I remember making. We used white bread for the crust and topped it with tomato sauce, grated cheese, and sliced hotdogs. I ended up liking the ‘recipe’ a lot and frequently asked my aunt or grandma to make it for me.

What does your hair currently look like? It’s slightly damp since I took a shower a couple of hours ago, and it’s currently styled in a low side ponytail.

Who's the worst driver you know? It’s been years since I’ve been in a car where my uncle was in charge of the wheel, but I would always end up feeling nauseous whenever he was the one driving. I never figured out why, but my best bet is because he tends to press hard on the brakes. I also don’t trust anyone who’s fine with being way too close to other cars.

What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? I live in a residential area where there are approximately 0 wild animals roaming around lol. I do have some neighbors who keep chickens, but that’s as wild as it gets over here.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? Nah. Just show me a stereotypical emotional video, like anything to do with grandparents or pets reuniting with their owners, and I’ll produce some tears for you in seconds.

If the last dream you had came true, would that be a good or bad thing? Bad. I was relieved when I finally woke up.

Have you ever had a lucid dream? No. I’ve tried doing it before but just could never get in the zone.

How long did your last car ride last? Something like 20 minutes. The mall isn’t that far away and most of the travel was because our house is way too far from the village’s entrance.

Isn't it disgusting when people chew with their mouth open? I mean c'mon... It’s icky but I have other worse pet peeves.

What's your most prominent memory from 2009? I used to keep this journal where all of my entries were of me roleplaying in the Twilight universe. Obviously it’s embarrassing to think of now, but I must’ve written quite well back then because my classmates loved reading it and used to pass it around during recess and lunch hahaha. That was my only successful stint in fiction writing ever. I know the notebook is still around somewhere, but I refuse to see even just the outside; too much cringe lol.

Do you think there will ever be world peace? A little pessimistic answer but no.

What's your biggest problem at the moment? A client was supposed to send us this file that I needed so I can proceed with a deliverable that we were asked to do today, but he never followed through. That’s fine by me since executions get moved all the time, but it also means he’ll probably send it sometime during the Holy Week break and I’ll have to work during one of my days-off this week. -__-

Has anyone ever told you you're too emotionally needy? I don’t think so. If someone has it would most likely stick with me.

Has an ex ever told you that they want you back? Nope. She has an infinite amount of pride in her bones for her to do that.

Have you ever turned down a job offer? I have never had to, and so far I’ve only been the one turned down haha. Joke’s on them; I’m super happy with the job I’ve landed.

What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I’ve only had to be confined once and that was just an overnight stay. It was a dengue scare but turned out to be just a low platelet count.

Do you know anyone who doesn't know the basics of using a computer? My maternal grandma refuses to learn anything that’s got to do with modern technology, and I suuuper doubt she’d be able to figure out how to turn on a laptop or computer.

What was the last snack you ate? I was feeling hungry earlier and had a bite of this guava chip that my workplace had sent over as a care package; but it tastes super healthy and blech and I felt like I deserved something more junk food-y for finishing off the work week haha. Now I’m having KFC delivered at 1 AM :(((

What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Lighting up a matchstick. I’m scared of fire and I always ask my dad to be the one to light up my scented candles every single time.

Is it just me, or are tv shows/movies getting to be really dumbed down? No. Different generations, different tastes catered. I also think I’ve answered this survey before because I remember saying that I actually appreciate how content these days are more inclusive and open about tackling sensitive issues. That’s the complete opposite of ‘dumbed down’ to me.

Do you know any same-sex married couples? Finding one in the Philippines is like looking for a needle in a haystack, but yeah I happen to know a couple of couples. They probably handled all the paperwork in the US, but still. I’m glad their family is able to thrive here.

What was the last appointment you scheduled? It was a telemedicine consultation. I didn’t need it, but one of our clients recently partnered with this telehealth service and they wanted someone from the agency to use a free trial so we can have a better idea of what the service offers. I was the sacrificial lamb (lmao) and so I had to have this quick video call with one of their doctors. That was the first instance I was glad to have scoliosis because it gave me something to talk about, because otherwise I would be completely lost on what to consult about.

Are you happy with the person you have become? Getting there :) I definitely don’t have as many self-loathing moments than I used to just a few months ago.

What year were you born? 1998.

What does your favorite watch look like? I don’t have one; I don’t use watches as I will probably lose them in like a month anyway.

Did you have one of those Tamagotchi things as a kid? Yeah, but I personally didn’t get the hype and quickly went back to my other toys.

What's your favorite kind of wine? Sweeter ones. I can’t stand bitter wine.

When was the last time you felt lonely? Last Sunday. I was talking to Angela and Andi more excessively than usual that day; and it was most likely the quarantine getting to me. Even though they reassure me that I’m not being too clingy or annoying I still feel like I am, so that day made me rethink and reflect about ways to expand my circles and gain new friends.

Are your parents still together? Yeah, I literally just got them their KFC orders like 10 minutes ago.

Have you ever been so broke you didn't know how you'd keep a roof over your head? I’m thankful to have never been in this position.

Do you know anyone who believes that vaccines cause autism? Possibly. But at least they’re smart enough to keep their mouth shut about it.

What was the last piece of furniture you bought? OMG OMG OMG I *literally* just received it this afternoon but I finally bought a cute lil night lamp for my room :> :> Hahahaha I’ve spent my last four employed months spending on nothing but food, but I decided to switch it up a bit and finally purchase something that won’t be gone the next day, hence the lamp. Not really furniture, but still. It’s the cutest thing ever and it’s currently lighting up my room really prettily!!!

What's a new skill you'd like to learn? Climbing.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? It was the peak of the pandemic when the entire world was still scrambling to figure out how to handle it, so all stores were closed and no one could go out. I barely remember what had happened since that day just flew by, but I do recall that Angela had a box of sushi delivered to my place.

Do you have any great housecleaning tips? Not really.

What's your favorite cocktail? Zombie.

Did your favorite movie come out before or after you were born? Way before I was born; it’s 31 years older than me.

Is there anything you need to do before the end of the day? Nope.

#survey #surveys

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pixieposts · 3 years

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Febuwhump Day 25: Car Accident

AO3

Today’s prompt was “car accident” so I went modern. I think tomorrows will be another companion piece, because it seems like a good fit to me! It ended up pretty soft, I think I’m running out of angst 😅 anyway, enjoy

Specific TW’s

Panic attack

Hospital scene

Description of injury (non-graphic)

Fjord’s guilt issues

Fjord groaned as he shut the apartment door, dropping his work bag and stretching. Another twelve-hour shift, and he was utterly wiped out. He dropped his coat on the hook, tugging his long-dead phone out and setting it to charge on the kitchen counter. The apartment was quiet, not that Caleb was exactly a loud person to live with, but it was quiet in that empty way. Frumpkin wandered over with a mrrp of greeting. He grabbed a glass of water and scratched under the cats chin, waiting for his phone to charge enough to turn it on.

“Where’s your daddy tonight Frumpy? Has he gone over to Veths again?”

Frumpkin only purred, rubbing his head against Fjord’s hand.

“Not chatty tonight? Ah well, that’s okay, we’ll know soon enough I’m sure”

He left the phone to charge, deciding to grab a shower and change. If Caleb was at Veth’s then odds were good he’d stay over. Ever since little Luc was born, he had been spending as much time as he could there, helping out. Beau had been teasing Fjord that Caleb would be talking about their own kids soon, which was equal parts terrifying and hilarious.

Showered and feeling much better, Fjord grabbed his phone and turned it on. A few messages from Beau, one from Molly, one from Caleb and... a voicemail? The only people who ever called him were Vandran and Caleb, but the missed call was an unknown number. Weird. He typed in his passcode and set the phone on the counter on speakerphone, intent on getting himself some dinner.

“Hello, this is a call for Fjord Widogast from Nicodranas General Hospital”

Fjord dropped his plate and grabbed the phone, putting it to his ear

“-ave you listed as the emergency contact for Mr. Caleb Widogast. There’s been an accident, and he has been brought in for treatment”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

The voicemail was from nearly 8 hours ago. Caleb had been in an accident over eight hours ago and he had no idea. What if he was... no. No he couldn’t be, they would have called again. He grabbed his coat and threw his boots back on, racing out to his truck. The hospital wasn’t too far away, he could get there in a few minutes if he hit green lights. He cursed himself as he looked at his phone again, the battery was at 30% now. If he had actually charged it (“like Caleb told you to” said a nasty voice in his head) then he would have been there. He could have been there the whole time, he would know what was going on already.

Caleb hated hospitals, he always had, and now Fjord had left him alone and injured in one for hours. He was probably terrified.

If he was awake... if he was alive.

Fjords chest was tight now as he drove the familiar roads, breathing was becoming more difficult. He had to get to Caleb. He pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, took his ticket with shaking hands. He had no memory of the drive, his heart was beating too fast in his chest. He knew he should stop, breathe, try to calm down, but he couldn’t. The nurse at the desk looked concerned when he walked up, his eyes narrowing as he took in Fjord’s expression.

“Can I help you sir?”

“Caleb Widogast, I’m here for- is he okay? My phone died and I-”

The nurse stood and walked around the desk, pulling him gently to a chair.

“Take a breath sir, you’re no good to anyone if you’re panicking okay? We’ll check the system for you”

Fjord nodded and tried to focus on his breathing. He hadn’t had a panic attack in months, he closed his eyes and counted. It was a technique Caleb had taught him... three seconds in, hold, three seconds out. After a moment his chest felt closer to normal and he looked at the nurse again, embarrassment colouring his face.

“There now, my colleague says your...”

“Husband”

“Your husband is in recovery. If you follow the blue line on the wall, he’s in room 143”

“Thank you” Fjord stood, taking another breath “recovery means-”

“He’s doing fine, yes. Go on now”

He nodded to the nurses again and made his way down the hall, following the blue line they had pointed out. The sterile scent of the hospital made his nose itch, and he walked faster as the room numbers climbed, finally stopping outside 143. The curtain on the window was pulled up, but his view of the hospital bed was blocked by a person in blue scrubs. He opened the door and they turned, smiling and stepping back a bit so he could see the bed.

“There now Caleb, look who’s here”

“Fjord!”

Caleb sat up, causing the woman to tutt and push him lightly back against the mattress as Fjord cleared the space in three long strides.

“If you move about like that you’ll pull your stitches”

Caleb didn’t respond to her, just holding out a hand to Fjord who took it immediately. He made quite the picture, dressed in a hospital gown and surrounded by the beeping machines. Both hands had IV’s in them, which made Fjords skin itch to see. His right arm was up in a sling, clearly broken, and there was a large piece of gauze taped to the right side of his jaw. Bruises covered most of his right side as well as far as Fjord could see. He felt guilt rip through him again, Caleb had been sitting here in pain and alone for hours.

“Cay... oh sweetheart I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“It ah... it’s a bit fuzzy” Caleb looked up at the nurse, brows furrowed.

“A drunk driver hit his car” she supplied “the fuzziness is a mild concussion, it’ll clear up in a few weeks” she turned to Fjord “he’s also got three broken ribs, the broken arm and several nasty cuts that’ll need looking after.”

Fjord nodded, squeezing Caleb’s hand gently, of course, he would look after him.

“I’ve got a few more people to see, but we’ll be keeping him overnight”

There were a few moments of quiet (minus the ever-present beeping of the machines) as she made sure everything was as it should be. The moment she left, Fjord turned to Caleb and felt his chest constrict again.

“Darlin’- Cay I’m so sorry, I should have been here. If I had just charged the damned phone like you always tell me I...” he leaned down, pressing his forehead to Caleb’s hand “I’m so sorry, this must have been... gods Cay I was so fucking scared”

He knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t help it. The fear and the adrenaline from the call was starting to fade, being replaced by the horrible understanding of just how bad this could have been.

“Fjord, Fjord look at me please?”

He looked back up, guilt and sorrow and relief and fear all twisting in his gut. Caleb just smiled tiredly at him, tugging his hand. Fjord followed, getting the hint and settling himself lightly on the edge of the bed closer to Caleb. He looked up at Fjord, before leaning slightly to press a kiss to his shoulder.

“Schatz, I know you got here as soon as you could. I have not had a good night, that much is obvious, but I do not blame you” he rested his head on Fjord's shoulder now, sighing “I am just glad you’re here now”

“I’m sorry Cay- really"

“I should be the one apologizing... the car is a write off”

“I don’t give two shits about the car, it’s you I’m worried about. That list of injuries was long”

Caleb hummed, intertwining his fingers with Fjord’s as a response.

“I think I will have to apologize to you again, when they let me out... there is much I will not be able to do for a while”

“An excuse to be as obsessively doting as I want? What’s to apologize for”

“Mother hen Fjord will be out in full force I suspect”

“Cluck cluck sweetheart”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Fjord could feel Caleb falling asleep. Slowly, and gently as possible, he helped him get settled properly on the pillows to sleep. There was a padded armchair on the other side of the room that Fjord dragged over, settling himself down within easy reaching distance of Caleb’s good hand. They might joke about it, but Fjord knew he wouldn’t be comfortable leaving Caleb alone any time soon.

“Fjord?”

“Yeah Cay?”

“Try to sleep, I am going to be fine, I promise”

“Love you Cay”

“Ich liebe dich Fjord”

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday25 #panic attack #hospital scene #non graphic description of injuries #fjords guilt issues #critical roll

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hanyuninare · 3 years

Text

My Sendai Trip 2019 - 週末仙台巡り！ {PART 1: PLANNING}

Here is Part 1 of my retrospective diary for my Sendai trip last December! This part is all about PLANNING - aka the reservations I made, why I made them, and other little details that might be good to know. Hope this helps!

Dates of Travel: December 18-22*

Those dates are just the days I was actively IN Sendai. Taking transportation into account changes those dates – I’ll talk about that next.

Transportation: night bus

I ended up booking a night bus through Willer Express (per a friend’s recommendation). The bus left the station at around 10PM on the 17th, and we arrived in Sendai just before 6AM on the 18th. Same thing coming back – I left Sendai around 10PM on the 22rd and was back in Tokyo on the 23rd.

The fee ended up being 4220 yen to get to Sendai (about $40 USD) and 6300 yen to get back (about $60 USD), but these prices may vary. I happened to live a 5-minute bus ride from Tokyo Disney, so I got on the night bus at that stop. Coming back, I decided to get off at Shinjuku Station instead of going all the way back to Tokyo Disney just so that it would be a little bit cheaper.

I don’t have too much trouble sleeping on planes or in cars, so sleeping on the bus wasn’t too bad either! They have little face cover things (like a baby carriage) so that you can sleep better, and the seats can recline some.

Yes, there are outlets in your seat! On the way back, all of us were having issues charging our phones (I don’t know why, but I know the people around me were having trouble too), but on the way there I had absolutely no issues.

The bus makes one or two stops overnight at rest stops to give the driver a break and to let passengers use the restroom or stretch their legs. Don’t worry – you’ll get a bathroom break!

There are also announcements over the speaker (in Japanese and then English) for when the bus is approaching a stop (e.g. stopping in Shinjuku to pick up more passengers or stopping at a rest stop).

Accommodation: Keyaki Guest House (980-0822 Miyagi, Sendai, Aoba-ku Tachimachi 13-4)

I thoroughly enjoyed this little place! It basically felt like an old house that had been transformed into a guest house. You get to choose your bed (they’re like bunkbeds but seem more stable, almost like a bed on the floor and a loft bed that you get into with a ladder), but they’re first-come-first-serve. Each bed has a curtain to pull closed and a little night light inside. I guess you could almost compare it to a capsule hotel in that everyone has their own little space, even if you’re all technically in the same room. Blankets and pillows are provided!

Towels are available for a very cheap fee – I think it was 50-100 yen.

There are only 2-3 bathrooms, so you might have to wait for others to finish up before you can shower or brush your teeth, but Keyaki can’t hold an abundance of people, so you’ll likely be just fine!

I made my reservation through Booking.com (again, at a friend’s recommendation) and everything went smoothly! I stayed for 4 nights, and that cost 11,900 yen (about $119 USD).

When checking in, they needed to verify my ID, so I showed them my resident card (all the study abroad students got one, and it essentially replaces your passport in that your resident card is what you have to keep on your person at all times). Obviously as a tourist, you’ll have your passport.

The people who work at Keyaki go on rotation, so some people work mornings and some work evenings. Everyone was really friendly, and everyone spoke English with ease, so you have nothing to fear!

They also have sinks and a microwave, and just a general area for cooking, if that’s something you’d like to do on your stay!

Keyaki is located just off of Jozenji-doori (定禅寺通り), which is where the Pageant of Starlight is every year, so that’s one reason I chose to stay there! It’s a bit of a walk from Sendai Station, but it’s not unreasonable (Google Maps says it takes about 17 minutes).

Luggage

Willer Express has a limit on how big your luggage can be (and how many suitcases you can have). Thankfully my “big” suitcase was just fine, measuring about 25 cm by 43 cm by 65 cm (or about 10” by 16.5” by 26.5” for my fellow Americans ww).

I also brought my backpack and took that with me everywhere I went – very convenient and didn’t cause any issues!

Other Reservations

I made a reservation for one of my Day One activities at Shimanuki Kokeshi.

Hopefully this all helps you get an idea of what it was like to prep everything! I’ll make more entries about what I actually did, where I went, what I ate, all that good stuff! Ci

#my sendai trip 2019 #japan #sendai #Yuzuru Hanyu #日本 #仙台 #週末仙台巡り #hanyuninare original

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parvuls · 4 years

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19/54 :)

19 - summer camp / 54 - secret relationship

now. the first thing that came to mind is camp sweetgum. so i’m gonna leave this here in case it strikes your fancy and also because it’s great.

but i’m a sucker for extensive worldbuilding, so let’s settle in for the long haul, kay? this is 1.7k of plot outlining. you can see why it takes me four months to write fics.

eric bittle. age 15. moved to madison for high school, quit figure skating, joined a no contact hockey team. coach is happier but not happy, so he suggests an idea: hockey summer camp. yes contact. it’s in minnesota (coach’s not thrilled about the yankees, but there are no hockey camps anywhere south; he checked), and it’ll give junior an opportunity to meet some kids with similar interests. athletic interests, that is. and there’s still a lake and extracurricular activities, “so it’s just like the camp up by lake oconee, y’know? where the kids braid friendship bracelets and whatnot. except with sports.”

eric is... less enthused. but it’s not actually a suggestion so much as a decision and coach just moved across the state for him because he managed to get himself stuck in a closet overnight (eric’s mindset, at this age, is perhaps not the most healthy), so he says yes.

jack zimmermann. age 20. assistant coached a peewee team for the year and is not ready to spend a third summer in his parents’ house in montréal when all his former teammates from the q are returning home during off-season. his boss tells him about this summer camp in minnesota that’s looking for experienced counselors -- “it’s not a prospect camp, mostly for fun, so the boys there aren’t headed for the league. you should go. talk to some kids above the age of ten.”

jack’s pretty okay with never talking to anyone over ten again, but he’s got no other options and bob starts mentioning going to bonding fishing trips just the two of them, so he send an application.

um. he’s jack zimmermann. he was supposed to go first in the draft. the guy in charge of hiring for the summer probably rubbed his eyes in shock when he saw the email and headed straight to bed because he thought he was delusional from lack of sleep. jack gets the job.

so, like. listen. samwell men’s hockey team? they’re not your usual hockey playing dude bros. eric gets to camp that july and he’s still all long dancer’s muscles from regionals and even lighter weight from usual because he was on a strict diet and he’s got a southern accent and narrow shoulders and he doesn’t like when you slap him on the back. he’s not a hit with the local boys. but you know who does like him immediately? adam birkholtz, who’s off the ushl for the summer and wanted to play some fun hockey and get paid doing it. is it legal? who fucking cares, man.

does eric like adam? uhh. adam is 6′4 and touchy feely and eric’s got undiagnosed ptsd, so. no. but it works out after a while, because adam is relentless and also cannot stand most of the other counselors, and this tiny kid is great.

you can see how it goes: jack does not. get. bittle. it should be mentioned that jack also does not get adam, and adam does not especially like jack, so they stay out of each other’s way, but bittle is in jack’s morning slot. he skates like he was born doing it but every time one of the other players so much as looks in his direction he freezes like a deer. now, this isn’t the ncaa, jack’s got nothing to lose if this kid sucks in hockey, but he also doesn’t make friends and he’s got nothing to do with his day except read (he reads. a lot). and he likes challenges. so he starts paying attention.

the first time he asks eric to stay after morning slot’s over, eric looks so terrified jack’s usual awkward conversation skills reduce him to single-word grunting. but he gets the point across: they’re gonna practice yes-contact. for reasons. eric’s all like, “oh -- oh, no, it’s okay! i’m in a no contact co-ed team, it’s fine, this is a summer thing, really, sir, no need --” and jack’s like, did this kid just call me sir, i am twenty, but is also too awkward to take it back. he’s invested now. they’re gonna practice.

and practice they do. it goes badly before it even remotely starts getting better. eric looks like he’s gonna start crying every time and jack does. not. get him (!!!) but eventually adam finds out and talks to eric about it and encourages him (very, very gently, god, this kid is the shit but he’s definitely got some issues 19-years-old-adam is not equipped to handle) to give it a shot.

and then it does get better. jack likes having a purpose, guiding someone through an improvement process (jack’s therapist, wisely, does not tell him that this is the best thing he could’ve done for himself, because jack is... not there yet). eric (very, very slowly, god, he also should start seeing a therapist) stops fearing every jock who gets near him with the combined effort of adam’s incessant friendly advances and jack’s daily practices, and can even take some checks. gentle ones. but it’s something.

and then summer’s over. eric and adam trade numbers. eric and jack… do not, but jack probably says something like, “eat more protein, bittle,” and eric’s not even that offended, so it’s fine.

guess what? he goes back the next summer. coach is over the moon (he expresses this in a twist of the mustache and a firm shoulder clap). adam is also back, talks a lot about quitting the ushl after his next season and maybe going to college somewhere. jack is back because… uh, well, no one’s really sure why jack is back. he’s going to samwell in early august, right after camp ends. jack tells himself he’s easing himself back into hockey in a low-pressure environment and totally isn’t looking forward to seeing what a year has done to eric bittle.

which is, physically speaking, not a lot, honestly. eric’s firmer now, a lot more thigh and bicep muscles, but still narrow. it’s not collegiate hockey, it’s a high school team, alright? gosh. but he’s less jumpy and smiles at jack when their eyes meet and he’s babbling with adam a lot more than he did last year (they texted all year long, and it was nice having a friend, even if it was long distance), so it’s cool. jack makes him do morning practices again and he flinches less and less. they’re like. friends. maybe. jack hasn’t had any friends in three years and the last one was parse, so he’s a little rusty. it’s not a very traditional friendship.

they part ways again in august, and eric wishes jack good luck in school. jack sticks his hands in his pockets to avoid fiddling with his hat and has no idea how one says goodbye, and like, he’s not gonna keep in touch with this sixteen year old kid in his freshman year of college, okay? so. so. but he’s gonna like -- uh -- miss him. maybe. sorta. don’t tell anyone.

eric hugs him goodbye. jack doesn’t even take both hands out of his pockets to hug back, he’s so shocked.

the year after that, none of them come back. jack’s in college, he just got the c. adam’s getting ready for his freshman year. eric’s over the age limit for camp. it just doesn’t happen.

but the year after that, he gets a hockey scholarship for samwell. and it’s yes contact. and he hasn’t been checked in two years, and last time it was in a controlled environment near a minnesota lake, and he’s scared. and the guy from camp (the one who woke up that morning two years before and realized jack zimmermann indeed wanted to work at their camp) offers him a summer job, counseling skating lessons. and he says yes. for money, and to be ready for a season of real hockey.

also that year, jack’s had a bad season. parse won the cup, and smh didn’t even make it to the frozen four, and he feels shitty about everything. and coaching always made him feel better. so he goes back to camp, for one summer.

let’s set the scene: eric. age 18. taller, stronger, determined. in need of a haircut, but in possession of very short shorts. is headed to a liberal school and finally knows he’s gay and refuses to care about what the other boys think (camp has done wonders for his early mindset development; canon bitty, probably, was not as confident at this point). he’s a counselor now, fellas!

jack. age 23. not taller, yes stronger, has been friends with shitty knight for a year and knows a little more about human interaction (truly a little, but still). is looking to relax for the summer before kicking ass next season (and attracting scouts and joining the nhl and winning three cups before 30 and proving everyone wrong, but. first, relaxing and playing some hockey. jack zimmermann’s version of relaxing is different than other people’s).

they’re sharing a cabin in the counselors area. there are two beds, obviously, this is not that trope, and it’s not even bunk beds, but: they were cabinmates. oh my god, they were cabinmates.

the plot, obviously, follows as one would expect. eric is definitely not a kid anymore, is all tanned skin and strong calves and short shorts, and jack is only human. jack is all firm chest and pale eyes and hideous yellow shoes, and eric is disgusted, but is also only human. and jack is on summer break, and eric is not out yet, and so when they drink some beers one night and make bad attempts at actually braiding some friendship bracelets and jack’s tongue pokes out in concentration and eric bursts out laughing, jack has to kiss him. right? right. It’s not like eric would tell anyone. see closeted reasoning above.

what’s the catch? oh, no, they don’t get caught. they share a cabin! everything’s going swell. it’s just -- jack came there to avoid thinking about his bad season. eric came there to avoid thinking about his upcoming year of collegiate hockey. so… neither of them mentions… captaining the samwell hockey team. or. heading for the samwell hockey team. they talk about literally everything else (country music; undeveloped political opinions; daddy issues; the tv show arthur; american vs. canadian thanksgiving; one very late night conversation about homophobia in pro sports), but not about college. so neither of them knows.

oops?

#omgcp #zimbits #zimbits fic #omg check please #i like. legit don't know how to tag things apparently #NEVER LET ME WRITE FIC HEADCANONS i get wayyyy too invested #jack x bitty #check please!#pavfics

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years

Text

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.19

Under the suggestion of Coran, Keith accepted a room for the remainder of the day and possibly overnight. Lying in his back, he was propped up by two overly hard pillows, Lance sleeping on his chest as Keith repeatedly sighed to himself. Coran insisted they needed to rest, and that he’d let them know the results later, but for now Keith was in charge of making sure Lance didn’t fly off and get himself in trouble. He knew he really shouldn’t be thinking of contacting Shiro again so soon, but all of this was so damn complicated... plus, his brother would worry about him. He’d scold him on the outside, while worrying internally.

Opening up his messages, Keith tried to think of what to write, writing and erasing half a dozen things before settling with “can you talk?”. Simple was best. He had no answers for his brother, but he really needed to hear Shiro’s voice. The hunter was made to wait 10 minutes before Shiro finally called him, the noise waking Lance who gave a very disgruntled squeak

“It’s Shiro. No need to be grumpy with me”

Sliding his thumb across, Keith noticed it was a video call as he did. Relief flooding through him as Shiro’s tired face filled his small screen

“Hey, kiddo”

“Hey, old man. What’s up?”

Shiro sighed

“Next question?”

“That good. Is it safe to ask where you are?”

“Not really. I’m safe, though. Where are you?”

“At that dumb address you sent me to. You could have given me the heads up”

“They were able to help?

Keith tilted his phone down to Shiro Lance

“We’re waiting”

“Lance turned into a bat again?”

“Yep”

“Is he okay?”

“No idea. They all know him here. Thanks for letting me know that this was a resource centre”

Shiro groaned, scrubbing at his face with his free hand

“I should have. I knew he’d been there. You met Coran and Allura, I take it?”

“Yeah. He was waiting when the elevator doors opened. Felt like a fucking trap”

“Coran was waiting for me too. Something about seeing Lance’s car on the security feed. So they don’t know if he’s alright?”

“Not at the moment. He hasn’t been very well”

“That’s unusual”

“Not for him. I got the impression he’d been here for treatment more than once. He turned into a bat in public”

“That’s not good. Did anyone see?”

“Cameras might have picked something up. Shiro, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

He wasn’t equipped for this. Mundane life wasn’t something that happened for hunters. Too much peace was bad for him. He needed Lance to change back and keep teaching him how to fight against a vampire

“I’m working on that. I know it’s hard, kiddo, but has it at least gotten easier living with Lance?”

“Pffft. No. I have no idea what he’s thinking half the time. He says one thing and does another. He doesn’t want me there, but he hasn’t kicked me out like he said he would. He seems pretty uninterested in me, he didn’t even try drinking from me when I cut my hand”

“He is rather odd. I’m sorry, but I have to go. There’s a slight issue. If you’re not comfortable staying at Lance’s any longer, you can lodge there, I’m sure he’d understand that you’re there for his protection”

“I don’t think he’d be happy about that...”

“Sorry, Keith. I really have to go. Stay safe”

“Yeah. You too Shiro”

Shiro had already hung up before Keith could reply. Why couldn’t he be with Shiro? Lance seemed able to take care of himself. He wasn’t as old as Keith thought he’d be, his youthful exterior didn’t match the age of 44, but Keith was more surprised Lance was walking around looking 18 at 44, than being a more vampire age of 150 and looking 18. Vampires were wrong like that... and 44 seemed both young and old to him at the same time. Lance had mentioned he felt his development had suffered from being turned so young, yet when Keith had eavesdropped on him during his work call, he’d been unexpectedly smooth and respectful. There seemed so many sides to Lance that Keith couldn’t help but be curious. Would Lance never age past 18? And if he was turned as a child, why had he continued to age? And why was he clinging to Keith? That was the big question. Shiro accepted Lance being a bat far too easily. Coran had claimed he was human. Allura was weirdly nice. All he had was confusion. He felt different since meeting Lance. He didn’t know what Pidge and Hunk were thinking trying to befriend him. For years Adam and Shiro insisted he socialised, but everyone at work was kind of a dick. Especially the pack of werewolves working for the Vatican. They were led by a guy named James, who always went out of his way to be a dick towards Keith. Keith thought he’d finally have answers joining the Blades... but... Fuck. This was all Lance’s fault.

Three fucking days. It took Lance three full days to turn human again. Keith had been told by Coran he could leave at any time, but the world felt uncomfortably big outside the facility they were in. With Lance finally turning back, the man exceptionally embarrassed to wake up beside Keith absolutely naked, Coran had supplied them both with a change of clothes before announcing they all needed to have a little chat.

Led to what seemed a conference room, Lance was given a bag of blood to sip before Coran sat himself down across them

“No need to be fearful my boys. I thought we’d have a nice chat and clear the air”

Three damn days Keith had waited for answers. Coran waved him off, telling him it was best to wait until Lance had the strength to turn back. Lance was human again, and Keith patience had been stretched to breaking point

“You’re slurping too loudly!”

Growling at Lance, Lance ducked his head

“Now, now. Let him drink in peace. Lance, I paid Miriam a visit, she’s recovering well. Allura also paid a visit to Blue, she’s perfectly fine. Keith, I’ve spoken to Shiro. He will be returning in two weeks time. Poor boy had a hell of a time with a werewolf friend of his. Seems he got himself in a little trouble”

Lance’s eyes went wide

“Shiro went to see Matt? Is he okay? Is Matt okay?”

“You know Matt?”

“Matt is Pidge’s brother. You already know this”

“Ah, yes! Young Katie. I quite enjoy her online videos. Yes, yes. Now. Keith, I got the results from your blood work. Your in good health. Everything as it should be, and very much human”

“But...”

“I feel your symptoms may come from emotional trauma, as well as contact with Lance. There were no traces of Vampirism in your results. Now, Lance, there’s a little issue we need to address”

Lance sank back in his chair, chewing annoyingly on the cap of the blood bag

“We’ve done some follow up testing, comparing them with the original results and can now say with certainty that your body is changing. You’re exhibiting new abilities, as well as changing physically. Being a vampire who has fed on blood bags is vastly different to a vampire who feeds on fresh blood. Feeding on fresh blood has started a chain reaction within your body. So far we’ve seen a physical change in you, but with a little time things should settle into a new normal. Until then, you may feel some other changes in your body. Increased libido, mood swings, weakness, hunger, headaches. Now, here’s the good news. It seems your quintessence is comfortable and familiar with Keith. I believe I have some idea of what the future holds, I believe you’re becoming a breeder. A tasteless term that’s commonly used. This is just my belief, Allura disagrees given how long you’ve been turned, symptoms would have been more pronounced sooner, though you are a rather exceptional case”

Keith turned in his chair to look at Lance, the vampire frowning

“Coran... is this... can I lead a normal life once these symptoms settle”

“Within reason...”

“Then I don’t need to know”

Keith might not have been the one being addressed by Coran, but this kind of sounded fucking important. He didn’t know what a breeder was, but from name alone it sounded like Lance could some how... have a kid. Which was ridiculous. The guy was a guy. As far as Keith knew, Lance didn’t have the plumbing for that

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It means if it isn’t going to immediately impact on my way of life and being able to do my job, then I don’t need to know”

“Are you fucking brain damaged? Haven’t you been moping for weeks about not knowing?!”

“And some things are better off not being said. Coran said I’m going through some blip I’m going to come out of”

“He also said that you’re becoming a breeder!”

“It’s not your life Keith!”

“No, I’m just the poor sucker who’s been looking after your dead arse because you couldn’t turn back into a human!”

“I never asked you to!”

“You could at least pretend to be grateful! You transformed in the hospital, where anyone could have been you!”

“But they didn’t!”

“Boys! That’s enough. Lance, I respect your decision, but this is something you cannot ignore. Your body is going to have needs”

“I’ll deal with it”

“It’s not that simple. We’re talking about a change on a structural level”

“I’m already dead, I don’t think it can get any worse. I don’t want you feeding my vampire ego!”

Coran sighed

“I don’t want to fight with you. You’re like a son to me. But if you are changing into a breeder than you’ll be in danger from the constant pheromones your body will be producing. Do you really wish to put Hunk and Pidge in danger?”

Lance gave Coran such a cold glare that a shiver ran down Keith’s spine

“That’s not fair”

“It is what it is my boy. Now, listen to me, I have only your best interests in heart. You’ve lived exceptionally well as a human, but until your emotions stabilise I think it best we have Keith stay with you. Your body is going to change. His presence is quite compatible with yours”

“He’s a hunter!”

“And you’ll be hunted by far worse without protection. If your status gets out, you can expect many a vampire caller upon your step”

Lance let out a sad sigh

“I can’t change this, can I?”

“No, but we can keep you safe. Breeders are quite sort after. Not every vampire can be a breeder, it’s rare even amongst the ranks. All breeders that we know of have started as humans before turning with their first feed from a human. Keith was your first feed. You’ve held off feeding off him again, but your body is craving his blood and his presence as you change. You... I know you never wished to be romantically involved with anyone, and I’m not saying the relationship has to be physical, but for the next few weeks as your system levels out, it truly is best Keith stay with you”

“Just... what am I becoming?”

“Able to bear children. Now you can see why breeders have such value. Any child you bear will have the characteristics of a normal human child, unaffected by the curse you carry. A rare and precious gift, that cannot be stopped once the transformation begins. Any vampire of the highest rank wishes for a lineage of their own. They will use you and toss you aside, for the sake a child born with their blood”

Lance stared at Coran, Keith’s heart was damn near hammering inside his chest cage. He didn’t know that there was such a thing. He’d poisoned himself, Lance had saved him, now Lance was... he was changing and in more danger than ever... because of him. He always ruined everything. Constantly. He drove everyone away. Never the man they thought he was

“That’s not funny”

“It’s not a joke, my boy. Your manifestation as a bat is a sign of the change. When your flight or fight instinct is triggered, or your emotions are out of control, you revert to the smallest and fastest form possible. You need to work on coming out of your bat form on your own, as well as working on training to protect yourself. Keith will train with you, you will both benefit from the lessons each of you can teach one another”

“I’m not having sex with a human”

“Then find relief in alternative methods. You have no control or sway over Keith. He is not your servant, nor did you turn him. You fed to save his life, and I’m truly sorry things are turning out like this”

“Then kill me”

Keith felt his rage growing. Lance was rolling over so easily. What happened to the man who loved his friends and family? Who fought for those caught in family dramas?

“Lance”

“If I’m becoming something dangerous, then it’s better to kill me now before a potential incident occurs. I refuse to let anyone be hurt by my existence”

“Lance, please. I don’t want to see you die. I don’t want to lose you. Please, you can lead a relatively normal life again once your body has settled down”

“I’m going to be a fucking vampire magnet!”

“You know vampires are attracted to each other as it is. You’ve led a fine life. You have so many things you can still do. Keith will be my eyes and ears. He will keep an eye on you and keep you safe, until the return of his partner. You have friends and family who love you”

“Who will be the first in danger over me! Keith will be in danger! This place will be in danger... all because of me...”

Lance’s anger petered out into sadness. Keith felt a strong tug in his chest. The kinder thing to do would be to put Lance down. Before those problems rose

“You said we don’t need to have sex. He simply needs to settle into a new routine... right?”

“Keith...”

The question was to Coran, yet Lance softly said his name

“I’m serious. If he agrees to teach me how to fight better, so I can protect those I love, then I’ll watch him”

“You will need to let him heal. At least a days full rest and we’ll temporarily increase his blood intake. I will make a charm for you. It’s blessed silver and will sit inside your forearm until you are ready for its removal. It will ward against any forms of infection, giving us time to act if you do come into accidental contact with Lance’s blood. But blood alone will not turn you. You need to be drunk near dry, and the desire to turn you must be clear in Lance’s head. How many hunters do you think come into vampire blood on a daily basis? One small drop to the eye doesn’t turn them, not always. Of course, sometimes an accidental turning may occur, but generally the vampire in question has already settled on its prey when they turn someone. There are different rules, not a “one size fits all” kind of thing. Lance’s blood isn’t very potent seeing he’s fed from blood bags”

This was a lot. A lot more than a lot to take in. Lance wasn’t taking things well, Keith was freaking the fuck out, and Coran’s sympathetic smile was not helping. He and Lance... with Lance having urges... and he’d... well, he’d never done the do. Sure, he jerked off, but his prime focus was work. He didn’t have time for meaningless hookups when there vampires to slay. He’d made out before... drunkenly and he couldn’t even remember their face the next morning, he was so hung over that Adam insisted on being as loud as humanly possible.

“So I’m not a vampire”

Lance groaned

“I’ve been telling you ever since that night you’re not. I thought you’d finally dropped that”

Keith huffed. That didn’t explain things. Like why his heart went all funny when he looked at Lance, or why his eyes were drawn to those big blue eyes of his... and soft brown hair... He hated him, but felt weirdly connected to him. It had to be something was changing in him

“No, Keith. Perfectly human in every respect. Now, I’m going to send you home to rest, Lance. I’ll stock you up with some extra blood, and I want you to refrain from high emotions until you’ve settled. You may go visit Miriam, she’s always brought you great comfort, but after that, I would prefer you limit your outside interactions to a minimum, and absolutely avoid big crowds. It’ll help if you keep a written record of how you’re feeling and the things on your mind. If you can pinpoint the things that cause your transformation, you can work on levelling your emotions”

“You sound like Mami. She always says I worry too much”

“She’s a smart woman that mother of yours. Now, Keith, would you mind stepping out for a second so I can have a little word with Lance”

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heythatpenguinhere · 4 years

Text

Lucky

*Hey again friends!! Here's a family fluffy Rayllum short (future setting and time skipped) for you all to chime in the holiday season! Enjoy and thanks for all the love and support!

The world had certainly changed once the Dragon Prince was reunited with his Queen mother. With the dark army horde fought off and the threat from Viren overtaking the world vanquished, the human kingdoms and Xadia could look towards rebuilding their future. It was a future that seemed brighter than ever before and one that hopeful hearts like the king of Katolis hoped would be a future forged together. With the aid of a council, both Xadian and human, King Ezran inspired to lead the charge on unification and peace throughout their lands. It was a task that would not be easy and would take years and years of hard labor, but finally they were beginning to see the fruits of their hard work pay off.

If one roamed the streets of Katolis it was no longer uncommon to see humans and elves trading and exchanging. Children played together with little issues and relationships were beginning to flourish with more acceptance. It was a sight that warmed hearts, but there were unfortunately some that still resisted change. Pockets of stern-minded, opinionated individuals within both sides still existed and try as they might, they refused to move. These people didn’t discourage others though, people like the King, Prince, etc. still celebrated the culture change. Peace and unity was not an overnight objective and there would always be resistance to change.

When Callum looked into the eyes of his daughter however, he saw that change as more than worth it. Bubbling bundle of joy Sarai was worth every single struggle that could come his way due to her parentage. The first known elf/human halfling in hundreds of years, her arrival was not planned, but once she arrived, her place was never disputed. The youngling was the spitting image of her mother with mixes of her father. As she grew up, she grew up with her mother’s unique beauty and her father’s emotional temperament in place. She was gifted in both combat and magic and adored her family. She grew up both in Xadia and Katolis, with a love and respect for both. She was a beautiful physical depiction of what the union of the two worlds could be; one that they hoped would pave the way for others like her.

“Are you sure you should be up there?” came an uneasy voice from below.

A young boy stood shyly under a large Xadian tree in the courtyard of the palace grounds. His blue eyes scanned the area around them anxiously.

A head popped hanging upside down from a branch. “Oh come on Felix, it’ll be an adventure! Haven’t you ever wanted to roam the village without our parents for once?”

The figure hanging upside down had wavy white hair tied up in a long braid with strands of hair framing her face and small horns poking out of the top of her head. Her green eyes shone with mischief and excitement and her purple markings curled with the smile on her face. She was not one to stay inside for too long and with her parents being kept busy with ambassador business, she had grown anxious within the walls of the palace. So anxious that she dragged her younger cousin, the prince, out with the intention of sneaking out into the village outside the palace gates to explore for themselves.

Felix was definitely the more careful of the two. He had heard from his father’s recent meeting that there was a group of ruffians nearby causing issues and harassing Xadians who traveled through the human kingdoms. The group was full of hateful individuals who believed that humans were far more superior to Elves and the magical creatures of Xadia; ultimately they wanted them out. Felix knew he wasn’t supposed to have heard those things, but now that he knew this he feared for his own cousin…

“Sarai… I don’t think that’s a good idea. What if we run into some bad people?” He said, clutching his stuffed Glowtoad plush.

She huffed, “Bad people in Katolis? Felix, I think we’re fine. Now come on, don’t leave me hanging literally.”

The boy sighed and began to climb the limbs of the tree, praying nothing bad would happen to them.

“Okay so maybe there are some bad people in Katolis.”

Sarai and the prince stood, backs against a stone wall as a young man with dark hair and eyes began to pin them in.

Their journey had until recently been without any issues and the two had enjoyed getting to meet new people and see the village outside their walls in a new light. One thing they couldn’t avoid while out was the attention Sarai drew to herself. Her half-and-half appearance drew curious looks from people still and it might have been what led them to where they are now.

While they walked, they hadn’t noticed a spiteful young man following them until he was on them. The man sneered at Sarai and had even spat on the floor by her feet.

“Disgusting halfbreed. You shouldn’t exist! Your parents had no shame.” He said with venom spewing from every word he said, looking her up and down with disdain.

Felix gasped. How could someone say such a horrible thing about his cousin and family? His aunt Rayla and Uncle Callum were some of his very favorite people in the world. They were basically heroes in his eyes along with his father. They had helped bring peace to Katolis so how could anyone think so low of them?

Sarai scoffed, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. If you think your words hurt me, then you are sadly mistaken. I know who I am and I don’t need someone like you telling me otherwise.”

The man shook in anger, “You watch your mouth mutt. You have nothing to be proud of. And your parents: the step-prince and his animal of an elven wife are nothing.”

It was in that moment that Sarai’s usually emotional/sensible side lost the battle. Within the blink of an eye she had jumped into the air, kicking the man in his chest hard. The man hit the ground roughly and his fall attracted the attention of some people passing by. She may have only been 12, but she was a force to be reckoned with especially when angered; it ran in her blood.

She stood over the man as Felix cowarded behind her, with her foot shoved into his chest keeping him down, “I said you don’t know what you’re talking about and I meant it. Keep my parents out of your mouth and learn some respect. You won’t get rid of people like me so get used to it.”

The young man’s face grew red with anger and embarrassment. “Why you littl-”

“Hey! What’s going on here?” came a new voice from behind.

Sarai’s hardened green eyes flinched and then looked up to be face-to-face with a pair of eyes the same shade as her’s. Prince Callum stood at the entrance of the alleyway, arms crossed. Just behind him, stood his heavily pregnant wife, Rayla, wearing an expression on her face that could kill pointed at the man on the floor.

She gulped, “Hi dad...mom… I didn’t know you guys were home yet…” Pushing her foot off the man’s chest.

Her parents looked at her with a look that meant she was probably in trouble.

“I told you we shouldn’t have left.” Felix said, clutching Sarai’s waist.

“But dad you should’ve heard the things he said! H-He really said those stupid things! ...How can someone be so cruel…?” Sarai trailed off, the anger in her dimming.

She sat down with a thump by her father, who just watched his daughter fume. When mad, she was her mother, but when she calmed down or cried it was like looking at a mirror he couldn’t deny. Sarai sat with her head down and her hands clenched in her lap. Her hands shook lightly and soon he heard small sobs.

He reached over and pulled her close. “Oh honey… it’s okay. You know, sometimes people are just cruel. Sometimes no matter how kind you are or who they are, they choose to be unkind and say unkind things. Both me and your mom have seen and heard it before too. It hurts sometimes what they say, but you know what always got us through it?”

She sniffed, “Mom beating them up?”

Callum stifled a laugh at the mental image, “No, not that… at least not always… What always got us through it was the love we have for each other and those around us and reminding ourselves of who we were.”

Sarai sniffled again and looked up at her dad. He was always so wise and kind to her and all those around. She saw every day examples of how much he loved her mother and her.

“Really?” she said.

He nodded, “Really.”

As she lunged to hug him she closed her eyes. She was grateful for having such a soul as his as her father. As she opened her eyes to her mother resting peacefully in their large bed with her hands encasing her swollen belly, she was thankful that her little brother or sister would also grow up with all the love and support that she had been given by both parents. They were really lucky.

#dragon prince #fandom life #the dragon prince #rayllum #rayla x callum #fanficiton #fanfic #family #fluff

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