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hunnylagoon · 4 months

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Right Where You Left Me

Pt 3: Being So Normal

Ellie Williams x Reader

Horror pushes tears from my eyes as I uncover the corpses of your past relationships. Each of them dead and lifeless as the next. Because that is what you do, you ruin what is good and it makes me miss you less and less as everyday goes by.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends until you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other. On this night some questionable choices lead you to a vulnerable state where you run out of options.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / drinking / smoking / drugs

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three here!

ELLIE

It wasn't as fun as I thought to watch you fall apart.

The morning after Christmas you left before I even woke, your makeshift bed made. You gathered all of the boxes of shit I collected off your dad's lawn and took off, leaving behind nothing more than a letter thanking my dad for his hospitality.

When I came back to Northridge a week later it was like I was looking at a new person.

Everything that had happened was swept under the rug, you lied and told the girls that you had a great Christmas. You started picking up overtime shifts, you were out more than you were at home.

I watch you stumble through the doors at five AM, makeup smeared, hair a mess and the fakest smile I have ever borne witness to, plastered across your face. You worked the closing shift almost every night and would go partying afterwards with your shitty co-workers who enabled this type of ruination.

I saw your stories too, shot after shot, In every single picture you nurse a drink in your hand or a cigarette wedged between your fingers. When did you even start smoking?

Abby and Cat didn't know just had bad you were but Dina was catching on. I remember how she would go out with you at the beginning, in her mind it had just been harmless fun until it was a nightly occurrence she started to get concerned.

It's like you've euthanized the person you used to be.

You can't even stand to be in a quiet room so you will it with nonsense conversation, hardly even words and laugh at your own jokes.

You used to glow. Back in middle school, you glowed like a candle that smelled of pumpkins and lattes, your love felt like sinking into a warm bath, comfort and security. In high school you glowed like the moon, no one could pry their wondering eyes away from your nerve-wracking beauty, gentle and empathetic.

Though now you do not glow, you burn. You burn like the end of a cigarette, the bud fluttering to the ground just to be crushed by the heel of muddy Converse. The spark of a lighter to ignite your stale menthol cigarette, slipped from bony fingers like clumsy matchsticks to the wilderness, to set what once was beautiful aflame.

Fire is only beautiful while it burns, I knew that soon you would smother yourself out to ashes.

I've been nourishing my withering body with 50-cent packets of ramen noodles.

I know that I'm not well, in fact, I think I've fallen off the rails.

When was the last time I got a full night of sleep? I'm not sure.

My days and nights bleed together and I can hardly differentiate the two. I hate everyone but I'm so starved for love I am searching everywhere for it, I look for it in dingy clubs and roadkill off the side of a highway, the bottom of a solo cup and the arms of one-night stands, I have even learned to lick it off silver knives. They have taken the rosery from my hand and replaced it with hard liquor.

I went out last night to forget like I do every single night. I look to the moon and pretend it is its being with thoughts and feelings, I act like I talk to it and it has said that it shines just for me.

Tonight, I will go out again. I smear glitter over my eyelids and slip into a silver sequin dress that doesn't even fall past my fingertips. I force my scabbed and bleeding feet into white stilettos that are sure to damage them even further. When I look in the mirror I feel a new sense of bitterness, like nicotine on the tip of my tongue, my face is thinning and my eyes are sunken in, dark bags hanging below the dull irisis. I cover it in concealer and bronze my face to help me look some sort of alive.

"Where are you going?" Dina asks me as I walk from my room and towards the front door, she has a tote bag packed up, her car keys in hand.

"The Monarch," I answer, it was a club on the main street, it tended to be the busiest also infamous for sketchy activity. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the tote bag in hand "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Jesse's for the night, " She says, tonight her hair is loose and falling over her shoulders "Are you sure you wanna go out tonight?"

I nod, suddenly feeling vulnerable in my choice of clothing "Yeah," Sensing her judgement, I'm already getting defensive "I'm in college, all I do and go to work and school-

"Who's fault is that?" Dina cuts me off and my words fail me, I don't know what to say. She looks at me with disappointment glinting in her dark eyes.

My phone dings and I check the notification "My ride is here."

"Don't stay out too late."

"I won't," We both know that I am lying.

I have been many things over the years, a pirate, a cowboy, a warrior; over the past five months alone I have been a lonely girl and a saint, now I am a drunk who drowns out her worries in vodka and overly sweet cocktails.

"To being young, dumb, and broke!" Kayla raises her shot, and the rest of the group does the same. The small glasses clink together, and some of the vodka spills before we all swallow them back and slam them back onto the bar.

The central focal point was the expansive dance floor, alive with bodies moving in rhythmic unison. Multicoloured strobe lights cut through the haze, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

The bar, a gleaming expanse of polished metal, beckoned with the promise of libations. Bartenders, clad in stylish attire, skillfully craft cocktails. The mirrored backdrop reflected the kaleidoscope of lights and the animated conversations that unfolded in this hub of social convergence.

Overhead, suspended fixtures resembling metallic sculptures add to the overstimulation.

"Welcome back," The bartender, Mitch, smiles at me, I know him by name now that I've been bouncing around from club to club almost every night. "Long Island ice tea?" He asks, to which I respond with a nod. He's memorized my drink too.

Kayla is beside me while the others have dispersed to dance or converse, she sips a dirty martini. Her beautiful copper hair is styled into loose curls, she is clad in all black, a tube top, a mini skirt and tall boots as well as a slightly oversized leather jacket thrown overtop. She looks like the definition of a cool girl.

Everyone liked her.

"So how are things with the roommates?" She asks me, her green eyes piercing mine, she has a slight smile on her perfect lips.

"It's fine," I lied, again. I knew Dina was getting tired of taking care of me when I was too drunk to make my own way home, all of the girls that Ellie brought over hated me. I haven't been seeing much of Abby but Cat and I were actually good.

I can tell that Kayla doubts my words but she carries on to another topic "Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am," I giggle. Around the curved bar, I see a woman, she's in a red top and black jeans, her hair in a mousy brown shag cut. Obviously, she caught my eye. "Do you think she's gay?"

Kayla discreetly turns to look at the woman, she turns back to me grinning "No shit."

The woman catches me staring at her and smiles at me, of course, she has perfectly straight white teeth and a pretty smile. I sheepishly smile back "Hey, Mitch?" I wait for the bartender to give me his attention "Two shots of Everclear?"

That's how the majority of my night plays out; I dance for a minute, swaying to- not really swaying, I was dancing in a way that became a hazard to those around me then return to the bar to down more drinks.

"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, it isn't one I recognize, and when I face it, I feel my heartbeat pick up. It was the woman I had been eyeing, now that she's this close I can see the freckles scattered on her face. "Do you wanna dance?"

I can't help when my face splits into a smile, "For sure," I slip off the barstool and follow her onto the dancefloor, the lights are orange and hazy or maybe the haziness is caused by my drunken state. The woman says something to me but it's drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music "What?"

"I'm Karris," She repeats, smiling down at me.

"Cool!" I say. I followed Karris' lead with the dancing, she had a certain confidence in her.

I swayed with each ungraceful movement. Karris, the opposite of me is attuned to the music, moved with a confident fluidity that balanced out my careless stumbles. She laughs at my dancing "Here, I'll help you out." She shouts, trying to be heard over the Rhianna song blasting in my ears.

She comes up behind me, snaking her hands down my torso until they find a resting spot on my hips. With a firm grip, she slows me down, and now I'm moving with her, as one.

My sequin dress shimmered with every twist and move, like a mirrorball, I too might hang. As the light shifts I could've sworn I saw Ellie in the face of Karris.

I felt the liquor hit me all at once and my body became loose, melting into Karris, I'm almost limp against her touch. She's in front of me now and my arms are hooked around her neck while her slim hands lay on her midriff.

Her eyebrows furrow as she says something to me but once again it it lost in all of the noise, I just laugh, pretending like I heard what she was saying and hoping that it wasn't something about her dog dying.

The pop song changes into some song in French, I can't make out the words. Wait, I aced every French test in high school, I step away from Karris, squinting my eyes as I stand still in the middle of the dancefloor trying to process the lyrics.

Je veux te voir- I need you, no, that doesn't sound right. I want to see you, that's it.

je veux t'avoir- I want to hold you.

I want to hold you? Is that it? When did my French get so rough? I can't even think straight.

I swear on every god I was so drunk that I forgot I was in the middle of a dancefloor, it had slipped from my mind that I was dancing with someone, and all I could think about was my French classes from high school.

Age fifteen - Grade 10

The French lesson seemed to be even more boring than usual that day. Monsieur Cargin was babbling on and on about how there could be a room full of women but if there was one male rat you would refer to them using ils instead of elles. It was the same lesson I had learned every single year in French.

It took Monsieur Cargin thirty minutes to announce the project. "Pour ce devoir, vous écrirez une lettre à un camarade de classe sur vous-même, vous pourrez inclure des informations sur votre famille, vos passe-temps, vos sujets préférés et peut-être un bon souvenir. Si vous êtes ami avec votre partenaire, vous pouvez écrire avec lui sur quelque chose que vous attendez avec impatience. La lettre fera au minimum un paragraphe, je viserais plus haut si vous voulez une bonne note." Easy enough, a letter to a classmate about your self. "Avant de demander, vous pouvez choisir vos propres partenaires."

I look right over to Ellie from across the room after he mentions choosing our own partners, she doesn't meet my gaze though, she looks as lost as ever, rifling through some papers in her binder and I'm not even sure she understood a word of what the teacher said.

Monsieur Cargin lets us begin our project, everyone gets up from their seat to search for a partner; Ellie, seeing that everyone is standing up, gets up as well. I wave her down to my desk, she crouches beside it and asks "What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?"

I explain the project to her while she hangs off my desk and nods at everything I'm saying, giving me her full attention "Do you get it now?"

"Yes."

The next day we finished writing the letters and had to give them to each other before we turned it in, I gave Ellie my letter first.

Ellie,

Je suis heureux que nous soyons amis, non seulement parce que nos parents nous ont forcés à l'être, mais parce que tu es mon âme sœur dans chaque vie. J'aimerais te parler de moi, mais tu me connais déjà mieux que moi-même, alors je vais juste dire certaines choses que je sais sur toi. Vous avez lu chaque couverture de la bande dessinée Savage Starlight, plus d'une fois. Je sais que vous aimez faire du shopping dans la section hommes des magasins parce que vous pensez que c'est plus confortable même si vous finissez par ressembler à Adam Sandler. Vous détestez les mathématiques même si vous êtes vraiment bon dans ce domaine et vous aimez l'anglais même si vous détestez les études romanesques. Vous parlez à toute vitesse parce que vous avez tellement de choses à dire et pas assez de temps pour le dire, vous chantez comme une église avec une chorale et chaque fois que je vous vois entrer dans une pièce, je ne peux m'empêcher de sourire. J'ai hâte d'entrer à l'université, nous pouvons être colocataires et décorer la maison exactement comme nous le voulons, merci de toujours me supporter.

(Translation)

Ellie,

I'm glad that we're friends, not just because our parents forced us to be but because you are my soulmate in every single life. I would like to tell you about me, but you already know me better than I know myself so instead I will just say some things I know about you. You have read every Savage Starlight comic cover to cover, more than once. I know that you like to shop in the men's section at stores because you think it's more comfortable even if you end up looking like Adam Sandler. You hate math even though you are really good at it and you love English even though you hate novel studies. You talk at a mile a minute because you have so much to say and not enough time to say it, you sing like a church with a choir in it and every time I see you walk into a room I can't help but smile. I can't wait for college, we can be roommates and decorate the house exactly how we want it, thank you for always putting up with me.

I bent the rubric a little bit, talking about Ellie rather than myself but we were really getting graded on our French comprehension, not the subject matter of the letter. Ellie read it through, over and over, nodding her head along and pretending that it made perfect sense but I can tell by the way she squints her eyes and furrows her eyebrows that it doesn't make sense. She hand hers to me next, pride clear across her face.

Ton père est toujours en colère et je pense que c'est pour ça que nous sommes mariés. J'apprécie quand tu dors dans ma chambre et que nous nous battons avec des pistolets à eau. Mon film préféré à regarder est Star Wars, mais j'apprécie aussi Hunger Games parce que vous en êtes témoin. J'attends avec impatience une soirée cinéma ce vendredi avec vous. Tu es très cool, merci d'être mon ami.

(Translation)

Your dad is always mad and I think that is why we are married. I enjoy when you sleep at my room and we fight with guns of water. My favourite movie to watch is Star Wars but I also enjoy Hunger games because you witness it. I look forward to night movie this Friday because with you. You are very cool, thank for being my friend.

I can't help but giggle when I read it over, this causes panic in Ellie "Why are you laughing, what's wrong with it?"

"I love you but you are definitely failing."

I quickly helped her rewrite it before we turned it in, and she ended up getting a B with my revisions.

"Are you okay?" I hear Karris, she looks a little on edge, probably because I went nonverbal and froze for a solid minute or two.

"She's fine," Kayla puts her hands on either of my arms which are currently plastered to my side "I'm just gonna snag her for a minute if you don't mind." Kayla didn't wait for a response she was already dragging me away, guiding me through the sea of people and into the bathroom.

I always hated the bathroom here. The walls were black tile with white grout and there was graffiti all over the stalls and ceiling, apparently, it added to the effect, I just thought it was fugly; not to mention how dimly lit it was, there were red LED strips behind the mirrors but that was about the only light source. If you were trying to fix your eyeliner, you

"What is going on with you?" Kayla leans against the counter with the sinks, I'm right in front of her with my arms crossed.

"Nothing-

"I just saw you glitch in real life," She raises her eyebrows "You literally froze, I thought you were having a stroke."

I wipe some sweat off my brow "My head hurts," I mutter, I've already had too much to drink and we really hadn't been there that long. My thoughts didn't seem to process. Now keep in mind that I was so insanely plastered that night that I don't remember everything verbatim, I had to take others' words for what happened.

"Do you want an aspirin?" Kayla asks to which I nod and she begins digging through her purse, she pulls out a little bottle and I hear the rattling of pills. It's so dark that I can only make out the vague shape of the bottle. She places a little pill into my hand and gives me a half-drunk bottle of Fiji water in my free hand.

I don't need the water though, I dry swallow it.

She tucks the bottle back into her purse and feels something, I see her eyes go wide and that alone begins to stress me out. "What?" I ask, with no answer. She dumps her purse onto the counter behind her and turns on her phone flash to look at each item, she snatches a bottle of Tylenol and takes the cap off just for her hand to fly over her mouth. "Is something wrong?"

"I didn't give you aspirin," She's fighting back laughter but her dainty features are etched with concern.

"So?" I say, "It's just Tylenol, it won't kill me," My speech is slurred from the alcohol in my system.

"Honey, it's not Tylenol," She lowers her hand from her mouth, pressing her lips together tight. "It's MDMA."

"What?"

"Ecstasy," She corrects herself, making it easier for me to understand.

"WHAT?" My eyes go wide and my jaw drops "WHAT?" I repeat, running over to one of the nasty graffiti-covered stalls and kneeling in front of it, sticking my fingers down my throat to try and throw up to get it out of my system before it sets in. "Say something gross to make me throw up!"

"Uhh," Kayla stood behind me "Think of your dad getting off with your grandma!"

"EW!" I shout, turning to look at her with disgust on my face. "Why would you say that?"

"You told me to say something gross!"

"Not that!" I cry, slouching against the stall. I wish I had a time machine, I wouldn't just go back four hours, I would go back four years and make sure I play everything right. Maybe then I wouldn't be drunk and high in the bathroom of a dingy nightclub and I would still have Ellie.

"It's okay, honey, It's clean," Kayla walks closer to me, the heels of her boots clacking on the tile "I promise," She offers me a little rub on the shoulder "I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and make sure you're safe."

She was lying through her teeth, and just an hour later I was face down on the bar, lulling in and out of consciousness. That is the exact moment I started to think it wasn't clean like Kayla had said. My high didn't feel like what I was told rolling was like.

At first, I felt fine and then everything started to feel off. You know when you spin around a bunch super fast and your world spins under your feet? It was like that.

Before I retired to the bar, I tried to get back on the dancefloor just for my body to betray me and collapse onto the ground, people around me had stopped to watch me stagger back onto my feet and wordlessly stumble away.

After I lift my head off the spruce bartop and don't see Kayla anywhere in sight for the seventh time, I reach for my phone that I had stuffed into my bra and dial up Dina.

I hear the hum of the tone before it clicks and I hear her static voice on the other end. "Hello?" Her voice crackles.

"Dina, I'm on drugs."

"What?" I hear some shuffling in the background then what sounds like the click of a door "What drugs? are you okay?"

"I don't know," My voice drags out "Kayla took it out of her purse, said it was MMA and I'm not-" I hiccup "I'm not doing well."

"What the hell is MMA? Isn't that mixed martial arts?"

"Dina, I'm not doing martial arts, I'm doing drugs."

She sighs and I can feel her disappointment through the phone "Are you still at Monarch?"

"Yes."

"Hang on," Something shifts in the background.

"I'm kind of scared."

"Please just stay where you are-

"I love you, Dina."

"I lo- CLICK

My phone dies, and the screen turns black. I click some buttons for a moment to ensure that it's dead before I tuck it back into my bra and let myself lull back onto the bar, I rest my head on my arms and look at the displays of liquor surrounding me.

I lose track of the time that passes, in my head I am just about the win the 72nd Hunger Games, it's down to me and another tribute. There's an intense fight, I wind up underneath her and she presses a blade to my throat, I get a good look at her face and see Ellie but her face doesn't stay the same. It morphs through every version of her I had ever known. When we were seven, her grunge phase, when she let me do her makeup. This is when I give up, I know I don't have it in me to kill her so I lay limp and await my fate-

"Hey," A man sits next to me, his presence stood out effortlessly. With a strong, chiselled jawline and well-defined features, his face carried an air of that old-money elegance. His hazel eyes were softened by something (alcohol, probably), drawing others into their captivating gaze. Dark, tousled hair framed his face, adding an intriguing touch of ruggedness. He is clad in a white button-up and dress pants, I can well he's a blue-collar man just from the way he sits.

"What?" I squint my eyes at him.

"You're really pretty, I thought I would introduce myself," He smiles "I'm Emmet."

"Okay," I answer turning my attention to look ahead at the liquor display, watching the way the lights shone through them. Right now I don't care to make conversation, even if he looks like Henry Cavell, I'm fighting to stay awake.

One of his bulky hands reaches for my necklace, four of his fingers are beneath the cross, pressed against it while his thumb rubs it "You're religious."

I look down where he cradles my cross and try to jerk away but my body feels too heavy "Not anymore," I mutter. I put one of my hands over his to move it off me, he takes this as an invitation to hold my hand.

Emmet brings his head next to mine to whisper in my ear "So does that mean you're a good girl or a bad girl-

"It means she's leaving, actually," Ellie pushes him away abruptly, he looks taken aback while she doesn't give a shit. She begins to gingerly help me off the stool "Do you have everything?"

"Why are you here?" I ask "I called Abby."

"You called Dina and she's on the other side of town with her boyfriend so she sent me." Ellie slings one arm around me and I sink into her immediately.

"I hate you so much," I murmur under my breath.

"Yeah, I bet you do," She is gentle with me, she's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and I'll shatter at the slightest bit of harm.

Emmet looks crazily offended, his hands up in defence "Hey, we were having a conversation-

"Borderline harassment doesn't constitute a conversation." Ellie looks like she rolled out of bed, she is in her grey sweatpants and field hockey hoodie, her hair in the low ponytail she always wore to sleep. "Are you okay?" She asks, her tone shifting from harsh to soft.

"Mhm," I ball my fist up and rub my eye, smearing my mascara when I do so, I look down at my hand and see the remnants of my telescopic mascara and silver glitter smudged on it.

I am killing myself slowly and it is no crucifixion.

As Ellie helps me into the back seat of her car I feel like mold is growing on my bones just to way me down to the concrete where I will surely rot. "I don't write enough," I mumble "And I'm so lonely I'm searching for god everywhere but I can't find him."

Ellie gives me a little hum of acknowledgment her eyes briefly shooting to me in the rearview mirror before looking back to the road.

"Don't worry, I'm not in love with you anymore," I say nonchalantly as I'm sprawled out in her back seat, watching the light from neon signs pass us by.

"I didn't know you ever were." She says softly, hands on the steering wheel, she steals glances at me. The towering skyscrapers loomed like sentinels, their reflective glass surfaces capturing the myriad colours of neon signs that adorned the streets.

"I hate you," I add on. The mix of liquor and whatever drug Kayla gave me was doing me justice, I couldn't hold back any thought, they all fell from my lips in a jumbled mess. "I hope you die, I hope we both die." Ellie doesn't have anything to say to that. I think to myself that if I die in this moment, I would not be afraid, I would greet death like an old friend with a bright smile and warm hug. "I don't love anyone the way I love you," My head lulls against the window "And your girls, they all hate me."

"So which is it?" She asks, feeding into my tangent "Do you love me or do you hate me?"

"I-" I think about it for a brief moment "I hope if I killed myself everyone who was ever mean to me felt responsible." I look up slightly, using the car seats to help me steady myself "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you home," She says, biting the inside of her cheek "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for god to call me back."

I ramble on and on, it's a miracle that she didn't stop at the side of the road and dump me onto a curb. The traffic lights painted the road in hues of red and green, and the city lights flickered like stars, helping us find our way home.

"Ellie," I say, a building up ahead catches my eyes "Ellie, pull over!" She thinks I'm going to throw up so she pulls her gray sedan over, as swiftly as possible. I stumble out of the car, my stiletto heel catches the ground in a weird way, my ankle goes sideways and I fall with it.

"Shit," Ellie rushes from the driver's seat to help me sit up straight. I use her as support to pull myself off the concrete sidewalk completely and walk towards the church up ahead like a zombie "Where are you going?"

"To clean myself from sin," I approach the church and force the heavy doors open; I knew for a fact even in my state that this church had its chapel open twenty-four hours from all of the Google pins my mom sent me when I first moved here.

The chapel's interior was bathed in a soft, ethereal moonlight that filtered through stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colours upon the polished wooden pews below.

Smooth, cool stone formed the foundation of the chapel. The high, arched ceilings reached towards the heavens, adorned with wooden beams that seemed to cradle the sacred space below. The acoustics, shaped by the architecture, lent an echo to the moonlight whisper as if the very walls absorbed and magnified the prayers of the faithful.

Rows of meticulously arranged pews lined either side of a central aisle, leading towards the altar bathed in a soft glow. Carved with intricate detail, the altar served as the focal point, adorned with candles, floral arrangements, and sacred symbols. The air was scented with the subtle fragrance of incense, a sensory companion to the spiritual journey within.

Throughout the chapel, unlit candles are spread throughout. Above the altar, a crucifix hung solemnly, a symbol of sacrifice and redemption. Rays of moonlight seemed to converge upon it, imbuing the sacred symbol with a profound sense of grace.

I try to compose myself the way you would a song or a speech and fall to my knees before the altar, clasping my hands together tightly. "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. I wake young but feel as though my bones have resided on this earth for centuries."

I am at his altar but I don't feel him around me, where is his steady hand which used to guide me?

My hands grasp together even tighter "I am filthy, I'm disgusting," I choke out "I'm all used up and I need you to help me get better," I break my hands away from their position to wipe my eyes free of any oncoming tears before putting them right back "Fill me with your purity, I will be waterboarded by your sacred hand until holy water leaks from my pores."

Ellie hangs around by the entrance, sketched out by not only the creepy church but also my off-putting behaviour. She flinches at every shadow she sees, believing it to be a homeless person who was residing there for the night. I'm kneeling over in my sequin dress, one of the straps slips down my shoulder and my dress rides up, this is the most sinful I have ever been, synthetic sunshine coursing through my system.

"Make me love myself so I have room to love you," I feel so repulsive and dirty, soap and water won't make me feel clean so I'll try bleach and matches instead "I ask for Your mercy and grace to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a right spirit within me, return my family to my side."

I search for some sort of sign that he is watching over me.

Nothing.

No sign that he is here.

The priest at my old church in my hometown had said that without doubt there was no room for faith. It wasn't doubt, it was absolution, he is not here and so I unclasped my golden cross necklace and discarded it on the ground before the altar, never again will I be haunted by a man who has failed to ever show me mercy.

Ellie washes the grime off me with the detachable shower head. My hair is clipped up and I am hugging my knees, facing away from her in the bathtub. I feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment all over again despite everything within me that is helping to take the edge off.

She holds the shower head but looks away to give me some false sense of dignity, I cried the whole way home from the church about being filthy but with how many times I had fallen over, she didn't want me to hit my head in the shower so we settled on this.

"I'm done," I mutter and right away Ellie turns the shower off and grabs my house robe from one of the hooks on the door, she holds it up and waits for me to stand, still averting her eyes. I stand slowly, gripping onto the rim of the tub for dear life. When I slip into it, Ellie helps me move out of the bathtub and into my bedroom.

She lifts me onto the bed and tucks me in beneath my satin duvet cover. Ellie leaves for a moment but when she returns she has a bowl in case I need to vomit, a class of water, a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of actual aspirin.

"Goodnight," She begins to shut the door but I stop her.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me?" My voice breaks as I say it "Just for tonight, I don't want to be alone." Wordlessly, she shuts the door and comes around the right side of my bed; Ellie is careful keep her distance from me but unlike Christmas, we face each other. "I don't hate you." I tell her because that is all I could recall saying in the car ride.

"I know."

"Do you hate me?"

"Of course not."

I don’t think I’m a whole person anymore, I think I’m made up from a dozen different perceptions of me. This version of me, born that night was anything but pure.

I am unlovely, so please, hold me gently and do not wreck me any further.

A/N: The drinking age in Canada is nineteen! They go to school in the true north strong and free. Also one more part left to go 👀

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@elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell

Sorry if I missed anyone!

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crosshairlovebot · 2 months

Text

welcome home / hunter x f!reader

pairing: hunter x f!reader

description: you return home to find hunter in the shower, and he shows you just how much he missed you while he was gone.

word count: 4,036

warnings: NSFW 18+ explicit sexual content. heavy scent kink. plot only if you squint. p in v s*x. oral s*x (f receiving). slight overstimulation. lots of kissing. slight body worship. cr*ampie.

the need to write a part two to that hunter smut a couple of weeks ago was so strong there was no avoiding it. the hunter feels gripped me so hard they're shaking me around like a rag doll. i have never written a full smut sequence like this before, so please bear with me if it's not as perfect as i would like! i'm doing my best!

although the previous part (which is not essential to read to understand this) was written with gender-neutral pronouns, this part is with a female reader. i wanted to make sure i could actually write a scene like this since i've never done it before. gender-neutral smut is something i'd like to try in the future once i feel more comfortable writing in this style :)

also posted this on ao3. feedback is welcomed, reblogs are appreciated. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

You rode the slightly odorous lift up to your apartment floor, the doors sliding open slowly once it arrived. The hallway light flickered every minute or two as you approached the door to your humble abode, your body aching after working more overtime than you should’ve stayed for. Yawning, you pressed in the code before promptly walking into the still-closed door with a thud.

You frowned, suddenly more alert. You checked the panel and saw that you had just locked your apartment, not unlocked it. Living on Coruscant – especially in an area not known for being the safest corner of the planetary city – had informally trained you to watch for your safety almost constantly. And the possibility that your door may have been unlocked by someone who may or may not be waiting inside to hurt you was a red flag.

Heart beating faster, you pressed your ear up against the door, to see if you could hear anyone and your eyes widened when you heard a faint groan coming from inside.

Panic began to course through your veins, and you debated whether or not you should call the authorities before deciding against it. They wouldn’t get here in time to be of any use, and so many crimes happened on Coruscant that you doubted anyone would even come at all.

Instead, you steeled yourself and then typed in the code again.

Save for the single lamp you always left on; the apartment was dark. The yellow light bathed the small space in a soft glow that made everything look a little less like a standard-issue Coruscanti apartment and a little more like a home. You quietly dropped your bag by the door, picked up a vase from the entryway and crept into your apartment. It was then you heard the shower running and the soft hum of a smokey tenor echo through the apartment. Your shoulders instantly relaxed.

There was only one person who would break into your apartment and take a shower.

You placed the vase down on the kitchen bench, a smile biting the corners of your mouth as you walked to your small ensuite bathroom, the humming getting louder. Your smile only got wider when you saw his armour stacked neatly next to the dresser. You could hear the hum louder from here, and your heart squeezed itself against your ribs. He was happy.

You opened the door slowly, knocking softly even though he would sense you were there as soon as the door opened. “Hunter?”

The humming stopped and Hunter’s wet head poked around the shower curtain. If he was a sight when he was dry, he was completely ethereal when wet. His hair stuck around his shoulders and neck, water dripping down his tattooed face onto his neck. He smiled out the side of his mouth, eyes bright at the sight of you. “Hey, you.”

You grinned, just as pleased to see him. “Hey. You’re back.”

“I am.”

You nodded to the steaming shower. “Can I join you?”

He wordlessly pulled back the shower curtain as his answer, revealing half of his bare muscular body. You undressed quickly, piling your clothes on top of his blacks that had been kicked near the privy before stepping in with him. Almost instantly, you were engulfed in Hunter’s arms, his wet body pressed against yours as he pushed his nose into your neck, breathing deeply.

“Someone missed me,” you smiled, hands holding his upper arms and squeezing them gently.

You felt his breath on your neck as he nuzzled his nose against your skin. It was always the first thing he did when he saw you. “You have no idea how much,” the words buzzing against your skin.

At the feel of his half-hard length pressed into your stomach, and you chuckled. “I think I can guess.”

Hunter trailed his hands down your body, nose still buried in your neck. He loved the way you smelled. Something about it drove him crazy, though you weren’t sure what it was specifically. But you’d never complain.

You felt him pull you closer, and his wet hair fell onto your shoulder as he dragged his hands up and down your thighs and hips. The water cascaded over you both, and when his hand dipped between your bodies down to the place between your legs, you tipped your head forward to rest on his shoulder as you moaned. “Hunter,” you choked out as his hand moved in slow circles there, and you felt yourself slicken at the touch.

Hunter pressed light kisses to your neck and shoulder, marking a trail up to your ear with his lips. “Been waiting for you to get back.” His voice was ragged like he’d been running, rasping out of him all breathy.

His fingers still moved slowly between you, and you whimpered before telling him quietly. “I thought someone had broken in.”

Hunter pulled back to look at you, his hand stilling as he searched your face with a crease between his brow. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead. “Sorry, cyari’ka, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You shook your head and looked in his brown-grey eyes as steam continued to rise from the running water. “I heard a loud groan…what were you doing?”

The corner of Hunter’s mouth lifted before those eyes of his darkened. “What do you think?” He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to your jaw.

You hummed. The idea of him getting off in your shower as he waited for you to come home conjured up so many salacious images in your mind you had to squeeze his arms to steady yourself. The thought of him in here, cock in his hand as he stroked himself to just your scent…it only made the arousal building inside you burn hotter.

“Couldn’t wait for me?” You croaked out.

“Kriff, no. As soon as I stepped inside you were everywhere,” he continued his kisses, sucking at your jaw. “And it only got stronger. Every breath I took you were there, inside my lungs, seeping into my skin. You know how insane you make me, and it’s been months…” He drew back and brushed his nose against yours. “Are you mad?”

“God, no,” you breathed against his lips.

“Good.”

Hunter finally kisses your mouth then. His mouth slants over yours and it’s impossible not to moan into it. His tongue moves over your lips and slides against yours. To think when you met him, he had no idea how to kiss and now he knew the inside of your mouth better than you did.

He groaned into the kiss, and you knew his senses were in overdrive right now, the hot wet of your mouth only driving him crazier. He pushed you back against the tile, his solid body trapping you between the cool of the tile and the heat of his skin. His hands gripped your hips as you snaked one leg around his. With his now hard length pressing between you, it was so close to where you needed it. You arched into him, the need to have him as close as humanly possible so intense you could comprehend nothing but Hunter’s kisses and hands as he did everything he could to consume every part of you. Your only thought was how badly you wanted him to.

You had missed him too, after all.

Your hands went into his hair, tugging at the wet strands as he continued to explore your mouth. He broke away but only to resume his kisses down your neck, his tongue lolling out to lick the skin and the droplets of water in between the kisses. Steam from the water clouded your vision, or was that because of the sensation of Hunter’s hands against you? You didn’t know. You moaned as his kisses travelled down your torso.

“Hunter,” you choked out as you watched him lower to his knees in front of you.

“Missed you so much,” he said again, the words vibrating against your skin.

You caressed his temple with your thumb. “I missed you.”

He groaned loudly against the skin of your stomach. “You smell incredible.”

You whimpered, so incredibly turned on as he moved his mouth down, his lips dragging across your skin, and you watched him descend lower, his eyes half closed and rolling back. You could see just how hard he was, up against his stomach. The water continued to flow down his shoulders and half-tattooed torso, down into the hair that covered most of his front.

You raked your fingers through his hair, nails against his scalp and you felt his moan on your stomach, and the sound ignited your insides with desire. It felt like your whole body was electrified, pulsing with need and he’d barely even done anything.

“Hunter, more, please,” you breathed out.

Hunter didn’t need to be told twice. He groaned, standing up and shutting the water off as he kissed you once more. He pulled back, sliding the shower curtain roughly across its pole before picking you up effortlessly. Your arms and legs went around him as he buried his nose in your neck again as he walked to your bed, both of you still dripping wet but neither of you caring enough to do anything about it.

Hunter lay you down gently, moving you up to the pillows as he climbed on top of you. His hair fell forward, dripping onto your chest and he leaned down to suck the droplets off your skin.

You moaned as his mouth travelled to your neck again, kissing you there, his lips sucking gently, and you knew there would be a nice mark there tomorrow that you would grumble about trying to cover for work. But right now, the idea of him laying a claim to you made every nerve ending in your body tingle, especially the ones between your legs.

His lips then made their way to your chest, and he moved to one breast, taking the nipple between his teeth, making you whine before he circled his tongue around it, sucking gently. Your back arched off the bed and you felt his hand slide underneath you, between your shoulder blades, drawing you into his mouth more. He sucked gently, then moved on to the other one, repeating the same ministrations with his tongue.

You panted, mewling with every pinch of his teeth grazing your nipple. He was taking his time with you, as usual, savouring every single part of you. You knew he’d be tired after spending months completing gruelling missions, but he was still eager to pleasure you slowly, work you up until you were begging for a release only he could give.

Exhausted, but never for you.

He released your breast, wetness from his mouth glistening the peak in the dim light. He continued down once again, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he lowered himself between your legs.

He looked up at you, eyes dark with want before he sat back on his heels to spread your legs a little wider, holding the inside of your thighs down with his hands. His thumbs circled the soft skin there as he gazed at you all spread out for him.

He looked beautiful like his. His brown skin illuminated only by the light that managed to creep through the blinds, his tattoo etched down one side of his body which still shined with the water from the shower. His cock was so hard with need, precum already pooling at the tip – you’ve barely even touched him. He was just worked up over touching you, breathing you in. He was average in length, but his thickness set him apart from any other sexual partner you’ve had. You ached to feel it inside you, but if he was taking his sweet time with you, it would be a while before you felt him stretch you.

Hunter was nothing if not thorough.

“Hunter…” you whined, sitting up on your elbows.

“Look so pretty like this,” he told you, not an ounce of insincerity in his tone as he crept down to his elbows, arms wrapping under and around your thighs as he pushed his nose against your centre. He breathed in deeply, and the groan that erupted from the back of his throat buzzed against your core.

“So good…” he murmured as he pushed his nose against your clit, making you jerk. He placed a kiss there before gently bringing it into his mouth to suck. You cry out, hips bucking up into his nose and he moans again before his mouth finally moves over you completely.

You arch your back off the bed as his tongue moves artfully against you. The sensation continued to stoke the fire that had been building the minute he wrapped his arms around you in the shower. You moved your hands to his hair, clutching the roots with your fingers and pushing him closer as he licked and sucked like a man starved. And in a way he was. Your hand was no substitute for this. He licked a line up, before bringing his lips around the bud again and sucking gently. You couldn’t think about anything but his hot mouth and tongue against you. You ground into his mouth, needing more friction as the pleasure began to build in your belly, coiling in hot spirals as Hunter continued. He groaned into you through his ministrations, and when he felt you clench on his tongue, he pulled you impossibly closer to his mouth as he moved his tongue faster. Your breaths filled the room, pants loud and moans echoing in the space. You could feel the mattress move underneath you and you looked down at him with hooded eyes to see him rutting against the mattress, getting off to the pleasure he was giving you.

“Hunter, please, I’m so—” Your words were barely audible, but Hunter knew what you meant as he pressed his tongue harder against you, bringing your clit into his mouth and sucking one more time, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. You cried out, the band inside you snapping as pleasure erupted.

Your back arched and you cried out his name like it was an incantation, over and over as he continued to move his tongue through your undoing, groaning against you as you came all over his tongue. Your hands tight in his hair, you tugged as you shuddered underneath him until the tremors slowed, and you lay breathless, limbs heavy. You looked down at him as he emerged from between your legs, mouth glistening with your come, coating his lips and chin. He licked his lips and groaned. The sight of it was so obscene you felt your body flush.

“Good girl,” he told you before he climbed over you, capturing your mouth in a kiss. You could taste yourself in his mouth and you moaned at the way his fingers briefly dipped inside you. “So good for me,” he told you against your lips. “Always so good.”

“Need you inside me,” you mumbled back.

Hunter groaned and you watched as he drew back to lean on his heels again, using the fingers he’d just brushed through your folds to lubricate his length. He hissed as he circled the tip and down the shaft before he coated his fingers again and slid them in his mouth, sucking them gently with his eyes closed, savouring the taste. You watched him, mesmerised.

Was this man really yours?

He positioned himself at your entrance, holding himself above you with strong arms, face over yours. His eyes were so intense, their brown-grey colour boring into you. He gave you a look, one that differed from the wanting gaze he’d been giving you. This look was one of tenderness, one that asked if you were still good – still okay with this. You nodded and he pressed his lips against yours once more before he eased himself inside you.

You gasped as you stretched around him, clawing at his shoulders as you locked your legs around his. He groaned as he bottomed out, filling you completely. He caught his breath and when you clenched around him, he made a choking sound, swearing.

“Been too long,” he whispered.

“Too long,” you repeated before he drew himself back out slowly. He pushed his nose into your shoulder again as he groaned loudly. Then he slowly began thrusting, the sounds of your moans and groans filling the room, along with the indecent sound of his skin hitting yours as his movements increased in speed.

“Hunter,” you moaned his name, and he groaned in response. His hands found your hips and he adjusted his position so he could reach deeper, and he continued to roll his hips against you, your hands clutching at his forearms as the headboard hit the wall repeatedly.

Sex with Hunter always felt amazing. Full of the kind of passion that almost didn’t feel real. It was full of moans and groans and tantalising touches that built you up and up so when you finally let go, the fall felt so good it was almost immeasurable. It was filled with kisses and though he wasn’t much of a talker, he would whisper how good you felt against him. No matter how rough he was being, you felt safe in his hands and cared for – he made sure of that. Being in the throes of pleasure with Hunter was an all-consuming feeling for you both, one that you relished whenever you got the chance. His time home was so fleeting, that anything you could both do to tell each other how much you missed the other, how much you loved the other, you would do. Later, you would use your words. But right now, your bodies spoke instead; each press, clench, shudder, whimper, and groan said the words for you both.

You could feel those familiar hot coils building again each time he buried himself in you, and you could feel his movements falter slightly as he came closer to his own release. He’d come up from your neck again and you looked up at him, mouth agape as his hair, now half dry, fell over his handsome face and the curled ends tickled your cheeks. You reached up and placed some behind his ear, hand cupping his jaw.

“Hunter—”

Hunter nodded quickly, eyes dark and pupils blown. “I know.”

Of course, he did. His senses were so in tune with your body he could feel the subtle changes of your arousal and smell the way your body was on the precipice of falling.

Hunter’s hands held your hips and the headboard, and he rocked himself into you, faster this time. He panted, a husky noise from the back of his throat sounding with each thrust as he brought you closer. You rasped out a string of yeses as the sensation that had been building rose to its peak. You locked your legs around his thighs, clawing at his back as you clenched hard around him, crying out.

Your back arched into him, fingernails forming crescent moon carvings in the skin of his arms as you shuddered against him. His name fell from your lips as you writhed underneath him, riding out your orgasm as he continued to sink into you on the verge of overstimulation.

“Come on, cyare,” you whispered to him as you were still trembling. "Still got my implant."

It wasn’t a second later until he gave a ragged cry as he stilled, spilling inside you. His eyes screwed shut and his teeth gritted as he groaned loudly – the way you had heard him through the apartment door before. Half collapsing on top of you, he pushed his face into your shoulder again, this time biting the skin there as his thrusts became languid, drawing out as much of his release as possible. You hissed as his teeth claimed your skin, but no matter how worked up Hunter was, he always made sure his bites weren’t too hard.

When Hunter’s shudders stopped, both of you caught your breath. You could feel his breath tickle your shoulder, and this was the first time since you’d been home that you registered the familiar musky smell of his skin. You smiled and kissed his shoulder while he was still on top of you, the tangy taste of his sweat on your lips.

Hunter slowly emerged from your shoulder and looked down at you, eyelids heavy and hair all tangled. You smiled, still dazed, and reached up to push it out of his face, tucking it behind his ear again. He smiled warmly at you before kissing the inside of your wrist.

He hissed as he pulled out of you, and the loss of him down there was so prominent you felt an ache. Hunter rolled off you and lay beside you on his stomach for a minute, his eyes drooping shut for a moment before he forced them open again.

“Hang on,” he said and kissed your shoulder lightly before pushing himself up and heading into the bathroom. You giggled as you heard the cupboard door open and shut before the tap turned on. You turned on your side, still half-limp, watching him wet a towel and then re-enter the room.

He sat next to you as he wiped between your legs sleepily, the warm towel a gentle caress on your skin before he placed it on the bedside table and lay down next to you.

You smiled and pulled the covers back so you could get under them together. They were damp from your hasty decision to not dry off beforehand, but they would dry as you slept. You watched as Hunter nestled himself in the mattress, eyes closing, but when you didn’t move closer to him immediately, he peeked an eye open. He reached out to you under the covers, with a frown.

“Come,” he said, his voice thick with exhaustion.

“I did. Twice,” you smirked as you let his hands circle your arms and pull you in closer.

“Shuddup,” he slurred, but he still smiled, kissing your temple as he tucked you against his chest. You breathed in the scent of him as you rested your head on him.

You chuckled. “You smell like me.”

“Good. Need to smell like you forever,” he pushed his nose in your hair, taking a deep breath in. “What is the name of this soap, anyway? Gonna place an order.”

You laughed. You loved he was like this – all soft and sleepy after you’d come together. It was a side only you saw, the shedding of that broody exterior he reserved for his service to reveal the tenderness that was a secret for your eyes only. “I think it’s generic brand vanilla and starflower.”

“Smells fucking incredible,” Hunter mumbled, making you laugh again. You kissed his chest and after a moment of silence where all you did was breathe together, he said, “You okay? I didn’t plan to do all that the second I saw you.”

You smiled. No matter how exhausted he was, he always had to check in with you.

“I’m really, really okay, Hunter,” you told him. “There are worse ways to be greeted upon returning home.”

“I at least wanted one conversation with you before I had my way with you,” Hunter murmured in your skin, kissing your shoulder again, this time where he had bitten you, his lips soothing the slight ache there.

“Talking is overrated,” you joked with a shrug, snuggling into his chest. You felt it thrum with a deep chuckle. He knew you loved to hear him talk.

“Tomorrow, we can talk. I have so much to tell you,” he breathed, lips brushing your temple.

You smiled. “Me too. Tomorrow.” You patted his chest gently. “Sleep now, cyare. I know you’re exhausted.”

Hunter hummed, on the cusp of slumber. “Tomorrow.” You felt his body relax. “Love you, cyare,” he mumbled into your hair.

You heard his breathing become deep and even, his chest rising and falling, his heartbeat steady against your palms. You smiled, closing your eyes. “Love you more.”

banner art by @vimse thank you for reading! <3 again, this is my first time writing a full smut scene like this so feedback (delivered kindly) is really appreciated!!

🏷️ @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @moodymisty @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @bobaprint @crosshairsnose @jesseeka @thegalaxys-edge @chopper-base @wenalena @shredderwest @leavingkamino @r2d2staser @beckbucket @pb-jellybeans @mylifeisactuallyamess @padawancat97 @littlecrowtime @jedipoodoo @ezras-left-thumb @lovelycurls @fruitsaladtree @literallydontlook

TAGLIST FORM

if you're a regular on my tag list but haven't been tagged, it's bc your age isn't in your bio/have said you prefer sfw fics.

#larissa writes #hunter x reader #hunter x reader fic #hunter bad batch smut #hunter x reader smut #hunter bad batch #huter fic #hunter bad batch fic #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch smut #tbb huter #tbb hunter x reader #tbb x reader #bad batch smut #hunter smut

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hubbvrd · 25 days

Text

Special gift | Nick Bosa

In which Nick gives y/n a special gift to help her not miss Nick too much on the days he is away.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Being in a relationship is not always easy. Especially not when you haven't seen each other for the last few weeks.

That's exactly how it was with y/n and Nick.

Y/n had a lot to do at work, which is why he had to work overtime almost every day. While Nick had slowly started training again to prepare for the upcoming season start.

And so it happened that the two saw each other only briefly in the morning and had a breakfast together before the two went in separate cars on the way to work.

Then, while Nick stood on the court and trained, y/n fought through reams of paperwork that dragged on until late in the evening, so she usually didn't enter her home until the sun went down.

Some days Nick was still awake at that time waiting for his girlfriend, but on other days, on which your training was too exhausting, Nick had already sunk into the land of dreams.

And also today it looked as if y/n would again have no togetherness with her boyfriend.

Because when she closed the front door it was already dark in the whole house and not a single sound could be heard.

She sighed sadly as she quietly closed the door behind her and slipped out of her tight shoes, in which her feet had been aching for half the day.

A hint of exhaustion spread through her as she slipped barefoot into the kitchen to grab a snack from the fridge.

Turning on the light, she was startled to discover a small folded cardboard house on the kitchen island.

Confused, y/n frowned and dismissed the thought of the snack for now, because the little cardboard house, which even had her name on it, caught her attention.

Slowly she opened the cardboard house at the top of the roof and carefully took a look inside.

Out came a pink plush frog wearing a mini 49ers jersey with Bosa flocking. Next to it was a small note that read "Look what I made for you...do you like it?" , it said.

Quietly y/n giggled up and pressed the fluffy frog against her chest.

She loved stuffed animals, especially cute frogs. She already had a few of those, but this pink plush frog was definitely her new favorite.

And the highlight was definitely the Bosa jersey.

"Press his heart" , she suddenly heard a deep voice behind her, which made her jump around, startled.

Leaning against the wall, her boyfriend Nick stood with his arms folded in front of his chest, watching his girlfriend with a smile.

Y/n was sure he had been standing there for a few minutes, but she hadn't really noticed him because the cardboard house had caught her attention directly.

"Excuse me?" , she asked her boyfriend as she looked at him, perplexed.

"You have to press here." Nick approached his girlfriend, carefully grabbed her hand and together with her pressed the spot of the frog's heart, whereupon she felt a small resistance and shortly after Nick's voice filled the kitchen.

"I love you"

But it was not Nick who had said those words, but the frog that had Nick's voice in it.

Y/n's eyes grew wide as she looked back and forth between Nick and the pink frog.

Nick had actually made her a frog at Build a bear and added a personal message.

"This...This is the cutest thing I've ever gotten!" , y/n whispered, touched, as a few tears rolled down her cheeks, which Nick gently wiped away.

"I know we don't see each other too often right now, which of course will change again soon when you have less to do and I'm more back into training rhythm." , gently Nick reached for his girlfriend's hands and looked into her eyes. "I know how much you miss me and I thought the frog would be a good substitute for me when I'm not around."

"It is," y/n assured Nick as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and again pressed on the frog's heart and Nicks' "I love you" echoed through the kitchen once again.

"The most beautiful gift I've ever received. And definitely a good replacement for you, but really no one can replace you" , y/n murmured against Nick's lips before she put her lips on his teaching and kissed him.

And even though it was already pretty late, the two of them didn't care for a few minutes. Because now was the time when they could finally spend a few minutes undisturbed again, before it would start tomorrow morning again with their separate everyday life.

#nick bosa #nick bosa x yn #nick bosa Imagine #Nick bosa x you #nfl imagines #nfl fic #nfl #nfl imagine

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whichbasketwitchbasket · 10 months

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Simple ways to get around the mundanity of life and feel less bored/depressed overtime.

1: next time you're at the store? get a new fruit. So serious. Just one. Bets are you haven't had every fruit in the store. I've made it a tradition to try one new thing every time I go. Last week I grabbed my first ever pomegranate (and realized that they aren't my favorite, but who cares). Don't hold yourself to any standard here. They can be fresh, dried, frozen, hell even pureed. Just something new you haven't actually tasted before.

2: change your phone/computer wallpaper and reorganize your apps. (mini self promo: i'm in the process of making some lockscreen subliminals that I think are really fun :) if you want to get more witchy with it). Use your widgets. Make your own, if you have the energy.

3: delete apps, photos, data. You realize how much you hold onto that you don't need. Don't be a digital hoarder. Find 2 more to add. Play around.

4: move where you do things. Even if it's not very far. I write my posts from my bedroom most of the time, but I'm slowly randomizing my spot. The library, cafe, or even just your kitchen. on the floor. On the countertop. Outside. In the closet. The world is your oyster.

5: move around your actual space. If you're physically abled, literally rearrange the room. My mom had the habit of moving our couch every month. A drawer also works.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember: there is no shame in what you can, or can't do, as long as it helps. My masterlist

#health and wellness #mental health #depression tips #loablr #loa tumblr #loassumption #loattraction #witches of tumblr #depression #coping skills #coping #mental health recovery #adhd #actually adhd #audhd #boredom #recovery #disconnected

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sunwarmed-ash · 3 months

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SS Poll Winner: The Eden Club

Can't say I'm not surprised. Thank you guys for being so patient with this one, it's coming along! Here's a smutty preview as a treat

🔞😈🔥

(sinful sunday deferred this week, I have a craft show)

Here are also two other sneak peaks of the last chapter I've already posted: preview 1, preview 2

Ch 16: Take this to your grave, and I'll take it to mine.

The first couple days after the truth(s) comes out and the three are left with no choice but to process, are tough on everyone as they attempt to regulate back to baseline. But it's worth it, because as it turns out, none of them are happy when one part of the triangle isn't.

It's October now, Gavin’s more or less moved back into his house and Sumo’s happier than a fucking clam now that the house is full of sound and body heat again. Hank returns that sentiment. He can honestly say he’s been feeling more like a whole person again.

Tonight, they are all sitting on the couch watching the first season of True Detective, because Gavin insisted. Now that they are suspended, they’ve got alot of free time. And too much free time for Hank or Gavin can be dangerous. Hank finds himself already falling subject to plotting Reynolds ultimate demise every free moment he gets, but for Con’s sake, Hank’s trying not to make a big deal out of it. Because no matter what, if his actions hurt Connor more than it helps him, Hank ain't gonna do shit.

And speaking of Connor, the android next to him is flushed and Hank can hear his internal fans kick on, working overtime by the sounds of it to cool his suddenly overheating system.

“You okay Con?” Hank asks, concern growing by the second.

“Yes,” Connor lies, tight lipped. His cheeks are bright pink, even Hank can even tell that in the evening, tv lit darkness.

“You sure? You're flushed,” Gavin points out.

“Ye-s” Connor hiccups, pupils dilating, clearly focusing on something that was not in the room. “V’s… sending me… pictures.” Connor finally confesses with a very specific kind of pant.

Hank feels his cock twitch in his pants as his grin splits his face.

“Pictures eh?” He asks.

“Whoa, like dirty pictures?” Gavin asks, voicing Hank’s suspicions.

“...Yes,” Connor gasps as he seemingly gets another one. “Fuck,” Connor whines and his fingers slip over the fabric of the couch cushion he’s sitting on and squeezes. And then, when another came through Connor sobs and the thin material under his fingers tears audibly.

“You just get another?” Hank chuckles.

“Yeeees,” Connor gasps, eyes staring forward, “A video. Fuck, Hank, I’m sorry about the couch.”

“So we buy another one,” Hank shrugs because a replacement couch is the last thing on his mind.

“Can you tell us about it?” Gavin asks hopefully.

Connor is quiet for a moment, and then,

“Fuck. Y-Yes.”

“Can we touch you while you do?” Gavin asks and Connor lets out a strangled sounding moan.

“Please,” Connor begs, his knees rubbing against each other in efforts to get some much needed friction.

“What are they doing?” Hank asks, taking over the dialogue while Gavin sinks to his knees in between Connor’s legs.

“Playing with themselves,” Connor pants, sitting on his hands to not cause any further casualties.

Gavin’s hands make quick work of undoing Connor’s pants and pull them down to his feet. Hank’s moves a little closer too, resting his large hand over the back of Connor’s neck, chuckling when the androids skin peels back automatically to expose the port.

“How are they playin’ baby?” Hank asks, starting his own teasing trail across the sensitive port with his fingertips without ever pushing inside.

Connor’s entire body shudders under their combined touches.

“They’re fucking into a fleshlight, telling me how it’s nothing compared to my ass.”

“I mean, they’re right,” Gavin shrugs before moving to lick the first drops of pre cum dripping down Connor’s cock.

Connor moans loudly.

“Can I send V a picture of you?”

Connor’s question causes a joint groan from both Gavin and Hank.

“Phck yeah,” Gavin says, “hang on though, let me get in position.”

Connor and Hank assume Gavin’s just gonna change his stance on his knees. Instead he pushes Connor's bare legs apart, as open as they can go before sucking down every inch of Connor’s cock into his mouth. Gavin then makes a show of locking his wrists behind his back before looking up at Connor with the biggest, neediest eyes anyone’s ever seen. Surprising the hell out of them both.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ Gav,” Hank pants, breaching the port in Connor’s neck with just the first knuckle of his finger.

“Oh my god,” Connor agrees, “please, d-don’t stop, either of you,” he begs and then suddenly he’s shuddering through an unexpected orgasm. Gavin’s mouth continues to suck him through it. Mouth torturing the head until Connor pleads for him to stop.

Hank’s finger comes free of the port and rests on the back of Connor’s neck, waiting for their android to come back online.

“You know I’ve never asked this but is this shit safe to swallow?” Gavin asks, now 10 seconds too late if not.

“Yes,” Connor laughs, post sex grin on his face, “it’s a non-toxic lubricant.”

Hank chuckles and kisses Connor’s temple, the side where his LED used to be.

Gavin is still on the floor, and Hank wonders if he’s waiting for something. When Hank finally makes eye contact with Gavin he just juts out his chin towards Hank’s crotch. When Hank’s eyebrow raises in question Gavin says,

“Take em off.”

Hank did not need to be told twice.

#detroit become human #hankconvin #vonnor #connor rk800 #hank anderson #gavin reed #v cyberpunk #hank x connor x gavin #dbh gavin #dbh hank #dbh connor #dbh rk800 #hankvin800 #sunwarmed ash #find me on ao3 #links in pinned #i post new stuff every sunday #*this sunday deferred- I have a craft show #sinful sunday

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deadlymagicbeans · 1 year

Note

Hi! Can you please write some hcs about Dante and Vergil (seperately) slowly developing feelings for reader, who's their friend and colleague? Can't help it, I'm a sucker for that friends to lovers dynamic 🥺

I really enjoyed your writing style, it's so cute and fluffy and perfect for this kind of stuff! Hope you'll have fun with my request and thank you 💕

*Hey Anon! I would love too! Friends to Lovers is one of my fave fanfic tropes out there (next to enemies to lovers hehe), Thanks for the request! - Bean*

Devil May Cry: Dante, Vergil Friends to Lovers with Reader

*Reader has Gender neutral pronouns*

Dante:

Friends to Dante are few and far between, but what friends he does have he cherishes them like his family even though they might get on his nerves a lot (Mostly Lady and her reminding him about his unpaid debts whoops)

So when you showed up one day replying to the ad he put out for an a assistant of sorts to help him actually run his business, he was shocked. just shocked that someone even responded to his ad in first place and even more that you both get along very well.

Dante being Dante, he tends to not open up to someone unless he can trust them fully and knows them for a long period of time. but with you it just seemed so natural.

With Dante's feelings about you it's a slow burn, but he will catch onto what's going on with him after a few months. Him having feelings for his friend? this can't be happening, right? He thinks he's too old for crushes' but here he is like a lost puppy following you around while you do your work.

In the end you'd have to confess as poor old Dante thinks if he did he'd get instantly rejected. but once you let your feelings known good luck getting rid of him as this man will never leave your side after you confess <3.

Vergil:

Vergil can count on less than one hand how many friends he has, So pretty much none (unless you count Dante, which Vergil wouldn't). So getting to be friends with him is near enough impossible, but look at you, you conquered the impossible.

Like with Dante's version, Vergil would meet you after you start working at Devil May Cry. He thinks nothing of it at first, just another pest in Dante's life he'd have to deal with. Until you approach him one day about the book he was reading, at first he was annoyed his quiet time was disturbed but then you both find out how much you have in common. This makes him conflicted about you which was the first step of you both getting closer.

He's a very very guarded person so when you guys are friends his guard is always still up and ready to bail at anytime but overtime he learns to trust you which can take a long time.

When Vergil started having feelings for you, he notices right away and wants to push those away. They'll only cause trouble over time and as much as he appreciates you in his life he just couldn't put you with the trouble of being with the son of Sparda. So he does the only thing he knows how and that is too push you away.

After a few weeks you noticing him pulling away you confront him on his behaviour, which leads to Vergil accidently confessing to you to shut you up about what was causing the distance. Much to Vergil's surprise and secret delight you accept his feelings. Now that he has you, he just has to figure how a romantic relationship works..

#devil may cry #dmc5 #dmc5 dante #dmc5 vergil #vergil x reader #dante x reader #dmc dante #dmc vergil #fanfiction requests #fanfiction #fanfic #open requests

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stressedbisexualtm · 7 months

Text

WAIT HOLD ON I HAD A BIG BRAIN MOMENT

For anyone that didn't catch Wilbur's stream today: when he checked the mailbox in front of tallulah towers looking for clues on where Llulah is, he noticed he had a letter from the federation. It basically said that Lovejoy is funding the federation, and they're proud of Wilbur. It also had a picture attached of a painted drawing of the Brazilian cargo ship on fire, in the same style Lovejoy's album covers have all been lately. I noticed this during the stream, but didn't have much time to think about it. However, a user on twitter pointed out that there's gotta be some deeper meaning there, which lead me to look back on Lovejoy's recent releases.

First up: Call Me What You Like - A single released by Lovejoy very early in the year (february or march I think, but idk for sure) whose album cover depicts a plane crashing toward the ground, on fire. I, like any good sleuth, immediately connected it to the French plane. The French crashed into the island via plane, and I do belive it was on fire before they hit the ground. The thing that made me jump the most was that this was, as far as I remember, released before the qsmp had even STARTED, much less when the French joined the server. Another small detail I noticed that might not be important is that Quackity appears in the music video as well as cc's not affiliated with the qsmp and people I could not identify any of the times I watched it (probably just background actors, but my brain's working overtime anyway).

Next up: Wake Up & It's Over - Lovejoy's latest EP, which includes the single Call Me What You Like. It's album cover depicts a train on fire, heading sideways off of its tracks. This reminded me of the first trains on the island - the ones that brought the initial English and Spanish speakers to the island. There was never a problem with them crashing or being set on fire as far as I remember, but it could be poetic. Another thought I had was about the create mod. For the past month or so, about since the eggs left I think, people have been experimenting with the create mod more - mostly using trains, actually. This could be a future event occurring with all the trains people have been building, something going wrong or some crazy angsty lore, idk. Again, it could be more of a symbol or an omen, but with cmwyl and the picture the federation gave q!bur I don't think it is. Another very obvious possibility is that it represents new members joining, like the other two do.

Third, and final: Normal People Things - Lovejoy's latest single, released just a week or two ago. The cover image for this song depicts a car crashing into the side of a house, the car very clearly on fire. I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but the other three covers all seem to take place during the day, but Normal People Things looks like it's happening during a sunrise/sunset (likely the latter). This cover is one I'm not really sure what to do with. It obviously follows the pattern of the others, so it's gotta fit in somewhere, I just don't know where. Nothing like that has ever happened to the players so we can be sure it's a future event. I'm not sure if it represents new players joining or just something the residents will have to deal with. (This last bit that I'm about to talk about is a huge stretch, but I've seen crazier connections.) As I was looking at all of the album covers, I thought a little bit more about the lyrics in npt. It reminds me of the happy pills arc, where Forever was taking pills and going a little insane. Here are a few of the lyrics:

Panic attack,/Backing track

Background hum/Of the cerebellum

What a blessing/To meet someone like you

With eyes as dead as mine, it's fine/It's normal people things to lie here in silence

(skip)

Spending days in/Self-medicating

Lost too much weight/Unpleasant aftertaste

We look the same/Play different games

This is probably the biggest leap I have ever made when theorizing, and it's most likely wrong, so don't judge me too harshly for it lol. I've probably got something with the covers, though, so I'm gonna be keeping my eyes out for that, and JESUS this is so COOL

#qsmp #qsmp federation #qsmp wilbur #qsmp lovejoy #(that's a tag now)#generic talking tag #wilbur soot #q!wilbur

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green-socks · 2 years

Text

Simple Comforts

Pairing: Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson x F!reader

Summary: You're on your period and feel crummy, but your husband takes care of you.

Words: 900

Warnings: Reader is on her period. We call Cyclone Daddy in this scenario. If that makes you feel weird, don't read! No hard feelings!

Notes: I have felt so shitty all week and my period only makes it worse, so I wanted some comfort, and I think Cyclone's chest would be a great place to get that. I have no idea if this short thing is worth anything to anyone else but this is what I needed rn! (Also in my head this ties into a larger story I'm working on and that's what the hint of backstory is about but more on that later)

MASTERLIST

“Hey honey! Have you started on dinner yet? Because I was thinking–“ your husband stops abruptly when he sees you lying on the couch looking miserable.

Beau worked long days most of the time, which meant that even working overtime you had still beat him home, though not by much. You’d just collapsed on the couch fifteen minutes ago and not moved since. You hope he won’t mind that you’ll be pretty much useless for the rest of the day.

Beau comes to sit next to you on the couch, brow furrowed in concern. “Is everything alright?”

All of it hits you at once, and tears start welling up in your eyes, now that you’re finally free to let them. You take a while to answer, not really knowing how to put into words how you’re feeling. But there’s really only one thing you need right now.

"Daddy."

It's only a whimpered little plea as you reach for him, but Beau immediately understands. You need him to take care of you tonight, to provide comfort and make sure you’re not neglecting yourself in any way. He jumps into action, pulling you tight against his broad chest. "It's okay, I got you; Daddy's got you," he murmurs soothingly. "Will you tell me what's wrong, sweet girl?"

“Nothing really happened. I just feel awful. My period started, and I had so much to do today but I couldn't get any of it done; I was so tired and feeling really lousy all day. My body and my brain feel like they’re lagging, and I hate it,” you unload, sniffling. “I just– I don’t know, hated everything about myself today. Everything felt wrong and bad.”

“I miss having your couch to rest on when it gets like this,” you continue, voice muffled by his shirt.

“I know, baby girl. I wish I could still give you that.”

Back when you’d been working at the base a couple of years ago, he’d offered you the couch in his private office after he’d noticed how bad your cramps got, and told you to rest there whenever you needed a moment. That was before you two even got involved, and you had appreciated the gesture so much you’d wanted to cry. And then after you did get involved, you would go and lie there in his office for a moment while he gently petted your hair, and you’d feel so much better. You miss having that.

“Have you eaten today?”

“Not much. Felt like throwing up all day,” you grumble.

“Should I get the bucket?”

“I probably won’t, it’s fine.”

Beau is still holding you half in his lap, but he guides your head to look up to him so he can see your eyes. “How about you take a shower? That usually makes you feel better. I’ll get your hot water bottle and some painkillers, okay?”

You just whine in response. You know you’re being a little silly, but everything sounds like too much work right now.

“I know, princess, but you’ll feel better. Then you won’t have to lift a finger for the rest of the day, okay?”

“Okay.”

Beau helps you to walk to the bedroom and helps you out of your clothes, undressing you gently but efficiently. Once he’s seen you settled in the shower, he leaves your side only for a few minutes to fetch the hot water bottle shaped like a teddy bear and the painkillers.

He was right of course; the shower does make you feel significantly less crummy. The hot water soothes your aching body and takes away the gross feeling you inherently get when it’s warm and you have your period.

Once you decide you’ve stood there long enough, Beau is back to help you towel off.

“Can we cuddle now?” you ask, pouting just a little after taking your medicine.

“Of course, c’mere.” He settles on the bed, having somehow had time to change out of the khaki uniform into some pajama pants and a t-shirt. “But you still have to eat tonight too, so I’m making you dinner before you fall asleep on me completely, alright? You know you get sleepy, but you gotta eat, baby girl.”

“Ugh, fine,” you groan, but more it's playful than real grumbling this time. “Can you take your shirt off? I wanna feel your skin.”

Your husband chuckles, “Of course, princess, anything you want.”

That gets a smile out of you too, and you settle yourself half on top of him on the bed. You burrow your cheek into his chest hair, snuggling in as close as you can, which prompts another rumbling chuckle out of him. He’s never really gotten your enthusiasm for his chest hair, but he’s learned that it’s a comfortable place for you, and he wants nothing more than to provide you that comfort.

It's so warm in his arms like this, you can’t help but relax further. His scent is filling your head, making you feel almost floaty. You both hum quietly, conveying the contentedness you feel being like this. It’s almost a form of communication, these little hums, but Beau of course still checks in.

“Feeling any better, sweet girl?” he asks quietly. His large hand is stroking your back with slow, heavy strokes, nearly lulling you to sleep.

“Yeah, thank you Daddy,” you sigh.

“Anything for you.”

He kisses the top of your head, and decides to let you doze off for a while in his arms before getting up to make you that dinner. He knows you’ll grumble a little when he wakes you up, but he also knows he’ll win you over with some pasta.

---------------------------------------------

tagsies (I didn't have Cyclone one my list before so I tagged those who asked for general TG stuff, feel free to ignore if not for you!): @wildbornsiren @a-reader-and-a-writer @callsign-phoenix @lt-natrace @hederasgarden @marvelousmermaid @lorecraft

#beau cyclone simpson x reader #beau cyclone simpson #top gun fic #top gun: maverick #i accidentally wrote something

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bazthefirstborn · 2 years

Text

SUB NANAMI FIC !!!!!

yes hello today I am here in accordance to the (respectful) demands of @saelipse to write a sub nanami fic <333333 ty for the ideas sae :)

househusband nanami bc yeah

---

banner: it's u/cutieheaders :D

MDNI READ AT YOUR OWN RISK <3

tags: sub nanami, (obviously) dom reader, a lot of plot before the smut (I wanted to make it fluffy too hehehe)

Nanami was tired. Tired of working in a field that he didn't get joy out of, and tired of working overtime time and time again. That's when you came along. Your presence was refreshing. You weren't overly polite because he was in a position of power, but you weren't at all deterred by his work. You supported him through all of his trials and tribulations, and for that, he was immensely thankful.

So, naturally, when he brought up the idea of retiring, you were all for it.

"I'm so happy I get to have a little househusband to come home to." You purred, making Nanami shiver. Even though you both had made jokes about him staying at home, he knew it would be better for both of you.

Fast forward a few months, you and Nanami have settled into a good routine, considering your rather grueling schedule. There was one important thing you had recently had to factor into your home time with Nanami. Overtime. The dreaded "O word" was like a swear in your house.

You had worked overtime every day this week, and it was finally Friday, and you had already taken the next week off to make it up to Nanami. You had a plan to propose to him that weekend, so you were uncharacteristically nervous when you got home. Nanami had been packing your suitcases for the trip, so when you got home, you could leave. You drove the 40-minute commute home, and, the second you got home, you were bombarded by a very affectionate (and beet red in the face) Nanami.

"Well hello to you too, darling." You said, laughing and shaking him off. "What's got you so worked up tonight?"

"Just missed you is all." He grumbled quietly, burying his head in your neck. "You've been working late all week. We've hardly spent any time together."

You kissed his head before replying, "I know love, I'm so sorry. I hate working late just as much as you do." He let go of you, and put his forehead against yours.

"No more work this weekend."

"Promise?"

"I promise, my love. Pinky promise."

So, here we are now. A small cabin in Yuzawa, with a little private hot spring for the two of you. It was luxurious, but simple enough for Nanami to feel less guilty about spending your money.

"I could have helped pay for this, you know." He said, clearly grumpy.

"I know, but this is a treat for you too, baby. I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you." You replied, pulling him into a quick hug.

"Yeah, yeah, you love me, yadda yadda yadda, it's fucking cold. Can we go in now?" He snarked, ducking out of your hug.

"Damn. Touchy, touchy. What did I do you, Kento? Did I love on you too hard?" You said lightheartedly, giggling at his face.

"Whatever. Can we go inside please? I'm actually freezing out here."

"Of course, love. Let the vacation begin!"

Fast forward to that night, you two were watching a movie on the couch, with Nanami sitting in between your legs. He had been touchy all day, sitting on your lap, kissing you all over, and touching you a lot more than usual. So, when you suggested a movie, he was quick to oblige and sit so he was practically on top of you, with your chin on his shoulder.

About 30 minutes into the movie, he began to shift around in his seat. Since he was in your lap, you noticed pretty much immediately. At first, it was a little twitch, then it became... more. By the time the credits were rolling, he was grinding his ass on your cock.

"Kento?"

He gulped, breathing heavily. "Yes Y/N?"

You smirked, before playing dumb, "Are you feeling okay? Do you need something?"

---

Nanami could practically hear the shit-eating grin in your voice. Fuck. I hoped they wouldn't notice.

"No... I want..."

"What baby? Use your words." You said. turning him to face you. Now that you could see his face, he was flushed and his pupils were dilated. Following his eyes to his crotch, you could see a very evident tent in his pants. You smirked and grabbed his chin to force him to look at you. He whimpered. "You want what, love? You know I only accept verbal answers." You smiled, and cupped his bulge with your hand. He moaned, loud and needy.

"Fuck- I need- Anh! I need you Y/N! Please!"

"You have me. I'm right here." You said, teasing him.

"I nee- shit- I need your cock sir! I need it! Please! I've been so good all week!"

How could you deny him when he asks so nicely?

"Of course, my good boy. This is your reward, after all."

end note: to be continued lolz

IM SORRY ILL HAVE THE FILTHY PART OUT SOON

#dom male reader #dom reader #sub character #dom! reader #dom!reader #sub jjk #sub jujutsu kaisen #sub nanami #gn reader #male reader #gender neutral reader #x reader

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aeridanus · 8 months

Text

Some babbling about the last months, the insanity is finally boiling down.

Since autumn of last year, things at work got increasingly stressful, but we were able to cope. Went to Fuerteventura in March to recharge, and in April, I fucking finally made it to Lead Concept Artist, after struggling against some bad management for the better part of a decade. Shortly after that, things started to escalate with ferocity, and our move came right on top of that.

The move is behind us and everything went well, but the situation at work became unbearable, especially for me. I finally took the decision to end my time with my employer of twelve years and have a new beginning elsewhere. I thought I'd seen it all in those twelve years, but with every week being worse than the week before, I slowly slid into a state of mind where nothing but work existed. We didn't even do overtime, it was "just" the feeling of the team and myself being consumed by the arrogance and ignorance of management people unfit for their roles, and ultimately, being confronted with the realization that I can't do shit about it, no matter what I do. Being a little woman didn't help either, as fucked up as it sounds.

Now it's all behind me since Thursday and I have two weeks of leftover vacation/overtime left before I start at my new employer. I'm looking so much forward to leave all the stupid politics games behind me, and while every place has its own set of issues, at least the insanity of what we experienced over the course of this year will be gone.

We actually had a second vacation on Fuerteventura only two weeks ago, but as we weren't able to re-schedule, our flight left on the morning after I handed my notice in and had to tell my team. It took six out of eight vacation days to come down from the chronic stress of the year, and only now that everything is done and final, the recuperation phase starts.

My brain is in complete idle mode currently. It's not like burnout, it's "just" idling around and happy with that. Feels like it enjoys having less electrical activity for once. Now would be the perfect time for Fuerteventura, but eh. Learned something about vacation scheduling for next time.

The photo above is from this recent vacation. I took the infrared camera and the "red plants" Kolari filter on board and filmed the takeoff. We were taxiing to the runway when this Lufthansa A340 took off right beside us, and with the red grass and the stormy sky, it came out like these fancy flickr-insta retro-hip colorgrade-things. x)

I hope to get some drawing mojo back in the next days :)

#chitchat #photos #travel #near infrared #infrared photography #kolari #infrared

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cherryskyies · 2 years

Text

Levi slowly realizing he is in love

for part one

(a/n): I don't know how long I'm going to drag this out, honestly. I just like writing for it <3

masterlist || navigation || ao3

It’s excruciatingly slow, but the walls Levi had built so high begin to chip; each smile you send his way is another crack in the concrete. He should have built them better, sturdier, perhaps with metal? Though his efforts are in vain, he fights it tooth and nail.

The last four months have been brutal, Hange keeps pestering him to ask you out, Armin keeps trying to make advances- and worst of all: you don’t visit as often. He’s lucky to have you in his office once a week, compared to the everyday he’d gotten used to.

Levi hates change, truly.

He hated your visits the first few weeks, but he didn’t have the heart to kick you out, as you were great at being quiet and filling out paperwork.

Now, the work seems intimidating, piled a mile high — not to add the silence, he’d gotten used to the sound of your pen on paper, the quiet yawns you’d fight back on exceptionally late nights, the clink of your tea cup that would make you wince everytime you sat it down; he could go on.

“Levi~,” Hange sang, cheerful as ever. “I’ve got good news- oh,” they took in his appearance: hair messy, darker eyebags than usual, deep frown etched onto his face, “Bad time…?”

He doesn’t remember them knocking or him saying come in, but he is too tired to bitch. “No, what do you need, four-eyes?” the nickname had become less degrading and more..affectionate overtime.

With a jump in their step, they plopped down in the wooden seat across from him, “I have good news, it’s about your little birdy, (y/n).” the mention of your name had him visibly perked up, Hange had to stifle a laugh. “Armin finally got the courage to ask her out, yeah?”

His face fell, there was no way in hell that little s- “hey, hey, Levi I haven’t even finished, let that poor pen go.”

Levi sat the pen down next to a document, a death certificate for a young scout named Henisey Lorpan, waiting to be signed, “I don’t care about my cadets love lives, Hange. If this is all you came to me for, then you are excused.”

His day was officially ruined, he wouldn’t be leaving his office for anything.

Hange smiled, shaking their head as they giggled, “Like I said, not done. She said no, she already has her eye on someone,” they paused, gauging the captain's response before continuing. “Mhm, should’ve seen the poor kid, looked like a kicked puppy.”

Once again, Levi grumbled, “You’re dism-”

They cut him off, standing from the chair to leave, “Point is, I think she likes you, Levi.” The soft click of the door filled the room.

He picks the red pen up, signs his name onto the parchment and sets it aside.

______________________

There are two things Levi must learn. One: how to share, and two: how to swallow his pride.

It's impossible, that's how it feels, at least. Levi is losing his grip every passing day, watching other men flirt with you- god forbid they touch you.

Hange's words repeat in his mind, they have never been one to lie to him, but how likely was it that you liked a man twice your age?

He does not have the upper hand and he hates it, almost as much as he hates the way you make him feel.

Levi would love to ignore the way your hands feel on his arm; soft and nothing like his, the way your eyes look up at him, all tired and sleepy- something he wishes to wake up to, forever.

You've been nothing but kind to him, determined to prove your worth and keep your spot on his squad. Though, the only way you'd leave is if a titan pried you from his cold, dead arms.

"Sorry I'm late, captain," you rushed, balancing the tea in one hand and your books in the other. "Armin held me up, wanted to tell me about glow jellies- pretty cool, honestly." a soft smile adorned your features, he could tell you had a soft spot for the kid.

He dismissed you, the corner of his lips upturning ever-so-slightly, "A simple apology would have sufficed, cadet."

It was clock-work, you'd read a book on the sofa, occasionally you'd get up and help with paperwork if there was a ton, but otherwise you kept to yourself; just how Levi liked it.

Against better judgment, Levi cleared his throat, glancing your way, "Hange mentioned Armin asking you out," the book in your hand fell, hitting you square in the face with a thud. "Not to be a cock block or anything, but if it interferes with yours or his performance, I will have to remove him from my squad, understood?"

He itched to hear what you would say, whether you would deny it or not.

"Levi," your voice was sweet, dropping formalities with the captain due to peer shock. "Me and Armin..we aren't- I don't like him like that. He's my best friend, I assure nothing is going on."

A moment passed, you felt like you could die from embarrassment.

"Alright," he studies you for a moment, stone eyes taking in your appearance; your clothes are messier than usual, but he nods, content with your answer.

______________________

Two more months go by, he knows he has to do something, to tell you and get it over with or this feeling will swallow him whole- that is if Hange doesn't get to him first, he thinks.

If he wasn’t so sure they'd turn him into titan bait for their experiments, he'd think about letting them have their way.

Snow sets in, falling from the sky at a steady pace. You're out there, making a snowman with Armin and Jean. The carrot has bite marks, no doubt from Sasha, but no one cares.

"Jean!" He hears you yell, you're so close to his window. "You're gonna…snow….doing that!"

Your voice is muffled, he can only catch snippets of your conversation.

Levi doesn't notice Hange sitting across from him, he doesn't notice them getting up and putting their hand on the curtain to pull it back, "Cute snowman," they comment, watching as Levi startles at their -not so- sudden intrusion. "Kind of creepy that you're listening to them."

He frowns, not daring to peek behind him to see the snowman- or you, for the matter, "Get out," but Hange doesn't budge, instead they open the window and call out-

"Hey, cadets, cute snowman! Can you come to Levi's office, Cadet (l/n)?"

Matchmaker Hange mode has been activated, Levi can see it in their eyes.

382 notes · View notes