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chiikasevennn · 19 days

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(this has topics of murder and yandere.....and stuff PLS DELETE IF URE NOT COMFY IM SORRY HUHUHU)

haia omg i have no idea if you're still open or no but i really like whenever writers dive into the more darker aspects of a character or how especially when a process of basically ascending to something what you would consider non human (monarch in this case) and how this affects a character like does this make them less humane or posssiblllyy twist their morals??

like as we can see with jinwoo his morals is err well yeah there but we can see times where he is willing to commit crimes if the time calls it (often the system forcing him to it) but like what happens when he finally swallows the system as a whole?? LIKE since now there is no third party to force him to do murder or what not will his way of thinking change too? like i imagine when he first murdered the guys in the cave very early on in the series you think that maybe he thought that it wasn't that bad..??

I can honestly see it more if it was another scenario and we add in the aspect of the reader or I'll call [name] whwhw.. I feel like Jinwoo is the type to actually lose his sense of humanity just for the sake of [name] or keeping them safe like the two probably was close but had to separate in their own ways but when they meet again [name] can barely recognzie Jinwoo and i dont mean physically or what not it's more like he lost his warmth and seems more... unsettling.. like do you know the feeling of watching those analogue horror or watching anything eerie and you get that feeling that somethings off in a scene that seems normal but you know something is OFF. yeah i feel like that's what [name] would feel ✊.

I just wanna hear your opinion on a more screwed up Jinwoo because as muchhh as i love the fluffy cutie jinwoo i also love delving into the topics of jinwoo just going batshit insane 🤯🙏

-🌟🎀

ABSOLUTELY!

Jinwoo x Reader

Your wish is my command, pookie bear.

Warning(s): YANDERE, nothing much, maybe too short? Not a fic or oneshot lol js my crazy thoughts

Also guys ples comment and say something ...

^⁠_⁠^

Jinwoo himself was already prepared to walk through fire just for his family, and that was just platonic love. Imagine how insane he'd be for a significant other that he loves way too deeply.

Hello???? Like I feel his dedication and love for darling would be higher than the heavens especially if they're already there for him during his lowest part in life.

My hunch is he's a chill yandere; he adores you and wouldn't pull any outrageously crazy stunts directly at you. Instead, he might convey lessons through various means, like allowing uncomfortable scenarios to set up, then emerging from the shadows he casted beneath your silhouette to rescue you.

Like a "savior" yandere. Your knight and sole protector.

He'd be more possessive ig if his crazy fans found out about you, particularly if they desire him to be romantically involved with Hae-In in the name of being a power couple. Jinwoo literally and genuinely didn't give a damn when they trash-talked him.

But hey, fans can be krezi

ALSO HELLO LIKE WHAT IF THOSE CRAZY ASSHOLES START HARASSING YOU ON WORK OR IN SOCIAL MEDIA (like leaving you death threats or rudely demanding you to break up w him bc apparently according to them, you don't deserve him)? Lol he'd be willing to do something about them, so good luck reasoning against him if you don't want bloodshed!!!

He'd convince you to not work anymore if that was in store for you.

"... Woo, you know I can't just quit work like that and have you become the breadwinner for the two of us. You're getting financially better and I'm proud, but I can't jus—"

"Shh," He'd tenderly cup your cheeks with his eyes overflowing with love and concern, every bit of his attention dedicated to you. "Is it so bad for me to want no dangers coming to you?"

"You're also being unintentionally put into unavoidable situations whenever you're in public. Love, you remember what happened last time, right?" He'd add. With a kiss on your forehead, he said, "I'll provide for you, you don't have to work. I can't stand how they're looking at you."

Jinwoo would mumble the final words gently before pulling back. He'd whisper them solely for your ears, aware that you wouldn't interpret that knowledge negatively anymore—it would now simply reflect his worry for your welfare and highlight his character as the tender and loving partner he was.⁠ ♡

#sjw is hot #solo leveling #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling fic #sung jinwoo #sung jinwo #sung jinwoo x reader

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ducksturniolo · 5 months

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drunk ☆ （ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝟤 ）

you went to a party last night , waking up to find yourself in a strangers bed

⌗ chris sturniolo x reader

⌗ strangers to lovers

⌗ implied sex (last night), naked, cutie patooties

YOUR POV :

i woke up with a massive headache, fuck i must’ve got drunk again last night.

realising my surroundings, my eyes widened. this isn’t my room?

fuck.

thats when i noticed the random guy clung to me. we were both naked - well, at least i assumed he was, i couldn’t see his bottom half, it was covered by the blanket.

i don’t think i wanted to.

his head was resting on my boob, mouth around my nipple and his arms lazily wrapped around my waist.

gosh i could slap drunk me in the face right now.

i lightly tapped the guys head in attempt to wake him up.

nothing. i tried again, this time a little harder.

he sleepily lifted his head, eyes prying open as he is doing so.

once his eyes focused on my face, they widened in shock.

wait

this random guy was actually kinda cute. drunk me did good.

then, he spoke up.

“what the fuck” he stated, clearly trying to hold back his laughter.

i let out a chuckle as we both burst out into laughter.

he tried to speak again, struggling through his laughter.

“i- im so sorry- i must’ve got soo drunk last- last night. i seriously don’t remember- like- a single thing.”

our laughing finally died down, both of our faces showing a red tint.

“it’s okay” i smiled. “i must’ve got really drunk to, the last thing i remember from last night was walking through the house doors.”

he let out a light giggle. “uh- did you like want to get changed back into your- um dress” the boy stuttered.

he was nervous.

i could definitely tell, but i didn’t blame him, me being pretty nervous myself.

CHRIS POV :

my palms were sweaty, what the fuck.

“no not really.”

WHAT.

my eyes went as wide as they could possibly go, i probably looked like i had shell shock.

did she want to stay naked with me? did she wanna fuck again, this time sober so she would remem-

“that dress was pretty uncomfortable”

“did you want to wear my clothes?” i asked her. she accepted my offer with a warm smile across her face.

“okay so i can turn the other way while you pick out something from my closet” i suggested, pointing to my closet so she actually knew where it was.

she nodded. “thank you so much.”

“of course.” i said, turning away from the direction of my closet.

when she was fully changed she called out to me. “i’m done” i turned around, now finally getting to see her properly, with my clothes on.

i looked her up and down, admiring her with my clothes on her body.

“alright stop checking me out, your turn”

my eyes widened for the third time just this morning. “oh uh sorry” i apologised before making my way to my closet.

TIME SKIP :

once we were both changed, we talked for a bit. she was so perfect, until i asked her what her home life was like, she kinda shut down that topic and moved on.

by now we had exchanged numbers, it was nice to know i could keep in contact with her.

“okay okay, if you said your 17, what school do you go to?” she asked me.

“somerville high. you?”

her jaw dropped. “no. way.”

“whatttt” i laughed.

“i go there to!!” she answered excitedly. “no wa-”

“OMGGGGG YOUR CHRIS FROM MATH CLASS”

this time my jaw dropped. “WERE IN THE SAME MATH CLASS??”

“YUPPP” she was so eager. i loved her energy so much.

but then, her phone rang.

she grabbed her phone. showing ‘mum’. “fuck” she mumbled, worry covering her voice.

answering the call “hey mum..” then i heard a lot of yelling over the phone, although i couldn’t tell what her mum was saying.

“okay … sorry … mhm … i will”

the phone call ended. this beautiful girls face was now plastered in so many emotions that i couldn’t figure out, but i knew it was bad.

“i gotta go” she mumbled, barely audible.

“oh okay that’s fine, maybe we can hang out at school?”

her face brightened up a little at my sentence “for sure, chris from math class”

i smiled. “bye”

“seeya.”

☆ kanana speaks ☆

u guys wanted a part 2 so here u gooo 🫶🏻 hope y’all like it

taglist: @spencerstits @nipseyhusslestan @mattsneezing @mattsaq

#kanana writes #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #kanana luvs u #sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader

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inkgyao · 2 years

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summary - you get tutor lessons from chris although you don’t need them just for his attention

warning - smut, afab reader, making out, praising, slow and passionate sex, college au

you were meeting up with chris frequently to study for an upcoming exam, more frequently than needed, you were actually one of the top students in your class — chris doesn’t know though. you just liked his company and how attentive he was towards you and your needs. for example, he would quiz you and go over the topics you were the weakest at. it made you blush but again, he was just doing his job as a tutor.

today was one of those days, where you were meeting up with christopher for a regular study session, he had invited you to this new café that opened up recently. you entered the cafe and scanned the area for chris, smiling warmly at him as he waved you over. you walked over him with your head down, trying to hide the smile that was plastered on your face.

“ hey y/n .. you like this place? i thought a change might be nice, i know how studying in the library can bore you sometimes.. order whatever you want, it’s on me. “ although he insisted, you refused to order anything, his sweetness to you was already enough.

“ are you nervous? the exam is tomorrow, hopefully all that hard work will pay off. i know you will do wonderfully. “ chris said, placing a reassuring hand on your thigh, making you shift around in your chair uncomfortably.

“ hopefully.. yeah.. let’s just review some things? “ you said, sprawling out notes you had taken with chris and flipping through your textbook. his hand remained on your thigh, glancing down at it every once in a while. hopefully he couldn’t feel your body heating up. the two of you stayed until closing hours, rereading and taking small quizzes for your test. you weren’t nervous, not at all, you knew you would ace this easily but this meant that chris’ tutoring would come to an end.

“ chris.. i know its late but do you think we can continue at your dorm?.. im just.. so nervous and i feel like some extra studying might really help ease those nerves. “ you lied through your teeth, and thank god he was an angel because he agreed to take you in. he helped you carry your belongings to his place, setting them down at his desk where a night light dimly lit the surface.

he pulled up two chairs, inviting you to sit down. you got comfortable and started to grab your papers before he stopped you.

“ ive made a rewarding system, i think this will make the topics stick with you more — for every question you answer correctly, ill give you a kiss, “ he suggested with a smile.

your eyes open, feeling yourself become pink. you weren’t opposed to the idea.. but you didn’t think he would take an interest in you. you nodded slowly, prepping yourself for the questions he was going to ask you.

and he kept his promise, for every question you answered correctly, he gave you a small peck on the lips. your face must’ve been crimson by the last question because of how much he kept looking at you.

“ last question, y/n. did you have to lie so i could tutor you? “ he asked, same tone as before.

“ w-what? what are you talking about? “ you nervously spoke.

“ you’re not stupid.. you really think i didn’t know? you’re probably the smartest student on campus, you don’t need a tutor. “

you let out a defeated sigh. “ okay fine. i just.. i liked you for a while and i thought this would be a good opportunity to get closer to you, you know? “ you stare at him with big eyes, mouth forming into a frown.

he suddenly went silent, just giving you a blank stare which was starting to creep you out. “ im sorry chris.. i didnt think it would’ve made you this upset- “

you muffled as he quickly leaned in to kiss you, you whined and placed your hands on his chest.. slowly melting into the kiss as your eyes fluttered shut.

his tongue licked your bottom lip, requesting access to enter your mouth .. and you granted his tongue access. swirling around his with passion, making out in an achingly slow pace. his big hands groping you everywhere while you were straddled on his lap. his sloppy kisses trailed down to your neck, giving your soft skin gentle suckles and gave your collarbone the same attention. you two never broke the kiss, only when undressing each other.

“ y/n, you don’t know how long ive been wanting to kiss you, “ he admitted against your lips, fondling your breasts while his hips swayed up to your clothed core, trying to create pleasurable friction for the both of you. “ ive wanted this too. for such a long time. “ you whimpered, grinding your hips against his crotch.

“ ride me. “ he moaned in your ear, struggling to take his length out. you gave him a helping hand and shifted your eyes down, your breathing hitched at the sight of his cock. he was clean, nearly eight inches and overall girthy. you could see a beam of cum sliding down his throbbing dick, you smeared it on your hand and used it as lube, jerking him off slowly. feeling it twitch between your hand made you giggle.

“ so eager. “ you teased, pushing your panties to the side to slide down on him. he watched you bunch your nose up in agony, trying to slowly sink yourself down and get used to his inches inside. “ does it hurt? ill be gentle. “ he cooed, squeezing your left tit, giving you time for your cunt to mold itself on his dick.

you gave a nod of approval and with a slow motion, he bucked his hips up, gradually fucking you from underneath. the sounds of him slapping into you filled the room, along with your small whimpers and whines. “ you look so pretty, baby. so good for me. “ chris praised, holding your hands as he gently but not slowly, fucked you.

“ christopher.. “ you cried, dropping your head down in shame, his grip on your hands staying as he let you cream all over his cock ; he picked you up and placed you on his bed, watching your chest rise up and down as you tried to catch your breath, sweat glistening over your nude body and your rosy cheeks.. “ you look so beautiful like this, my love. “ he hummed , dipping down and stuffing his face in the crook of your neck, biting down while he entered inside you once again.

“ im- gonna.. “ you managed to say, feeling your walls clench around him as you released yourself, christopher kissing you before you had a chance to moan, forcing you to whine in his mouth. he came inside you shortly after, thrusting for a while to make sure he pumped you full. “ you’ll do great tomorrow. “

#skz #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz x reader #stray kids #bang chan #bang chan comfort #bangchan x reader #skz changbin #skz minho #skz hyunjin

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system-of-a-feather · 2 months

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Hi, I was wondering (from your post about questions going from anti-endo to pro-endo),

Did your entire system become pro-endo? We've been slowly going down the pro-endo path, but we still have a handful of anti-endo parts who don't seem to be changing their views at all.

How did that go for you all?

Yeah our whole system is pro-endo at this point but a lot of us swapped sides on our own time and terms. A lot of our parts were very "I really dont care and dont want to engage" or just relatively uninterested with a lean so those guys kinda just changed opinion as the more opinionated parts changed opinion

I (Riku dominant part of the brain) was one of the last parts to genuinely change our opinions cause I honestly had some pretty bad experiences with endo-adjacent communities (and felt it might be dangerous to suggest that there was value in that community which was a trauma response that is valid but harmful and I had to work through that) and am the most research loving part so it took a lot more understanding into the depth of how research works for me to look at the theory of structural dissociation properly and with nuance. Plus I was / still probably am the part that has the most catching up to do on processing the fact we are POC and our experiences with it, so going further into Buddhist practice and integration and chatting with other parts made me get a larger fuller image and that changed my view a lot

But unironically, the main thing that really pushed a lot of the system as a whole from endo-neutral (which we were for a hot minute) to loud and proud pro-endo was the good faith the endo community gave us regarding the tulpacourse topic and the genuine sway that we saw in regards to taking criticism from POC. Cause I forget who it was, I think maybe @/artisticdysfunction (I could be entirely wrong so Im not @) that commented something along the lines of "hey if we can agree and acknowledge thst its appropriative can we agree willowgenic are actually a thing" or something and XIV went "Ya know what deal, I will fully change from neutral to pro if the endogenic community can show that it can take criticism and Ill push to humor it more"

Which I (Riku dominant brain) was SUPER hesitsnt to follow along with and so I made some boundaries of not going too ham on our system account for my own comfort and in exchange Ill humor and think about the topic more but like, it was honestly really hard and uncomfortable for me at first but honestly, XIV was right and so while it was originally somewhat a transactional alliance, its very much genuine at this point

But yeah tldr it took time and each part changed views over time. Its been like a few year thing

(And to be fair, our system used to also be relatively right wing anti-SJW Shapiro fans like AGES ago so this wasnt our first team switch over time)

#alter: riku #alter: xiv #alter: fei #syscourse #syscourse tw #proendo #pro-endo #endo safe

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iblameashley · 11 months

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Date-night with König. SFW.

Civilian | Male | Gay

1,200 words

Content: Date-night, Hand-holding and Kissing.

Mostly just cute fluff.

Date number three. König was sat at the table fidgeting, waiting for Alex to arrive. This was all still so new to him. The restaurant was dimly lit, soft music playing in the background. There was a candle flickering at the centre of the table.

He saw Alex come through the door, he exchanged words with the head waiter, and was escorted over. König stood up nervously, taking in the sight of Alex all dressed up. Alex had worn a light-blue button down with black slacks. He felt under-dressed in comparison, a simple polo and khaki's, wearing the black face-mask that covered most of his scars.

"H-hey, Alex" He stammered. "You look..."

Alex beamed him a smile. "Thank you. You look great too, Tobias."

König looked uncomfortable. "König. Please... Its. I just prefer König."

Alex nodded. "Okay."

König motioned to the seat beside Alex, and they both sat down. His leg became restless and his heel tapped at the floor.

"I've never had Sushi before." He said as he looked over the menu.

"I think you'll find a lot of things you'll like," Alex said. "There are many options, we can start with the vegetarian stuff first, if you want." "S-sure." He couldn't look up at Alex. Though he did make passing gazes at the top of his shirt. The top button open, and a little tuft of chest hair poking out. "This is the third date..." He mutter to himself.

"Hmm?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. Just deciding what to try."

Alex smiled. He could see the red spreading across König's face. It was endearing that such a big man was so easily flustered.

After ordering several different options, they began to slip into casual conversation. It had been rocky at first, König's life had been mostly military; something he really avoided talking about. Alex could see when there was a knot forming in König's stomach, and would change the topic, the poor man was torturing himself enough just being out.

He had even managed to convince König to take his mask off before the food arrived. König had hesitated, ashamed of his face. But Alex was unbothered, though he did take everything in. The thick scare that ran from König's temple to his jawline. The one from his lower lip to his chin, and the one next to his ear that ran half way down his neck that looked like a burn. There was also a small chunk of flesh missing from one of his nostrils. So many stories. Maybe one day König would tell him.

As the conversation progressed, König began to lighten up; open up. He practically ignored the Sushi, stuffing one piece in and continuing a story. A stray dog he had made friends with, 'Nala'. Places he loved to go in Austria and Germany. The few family members he still had. It was the most enthusiasm Alex had ever seen from the man. They shared a love of dogs and the countryside. They both spoke multiple languages, though Alex joked it was a shame he didn't know German.

In an awful attempt at humour, König had cracked a joke. A terrible, awful joke about a guy who stole 'all the calendars' and 'got twelve months.'

Alex nearly choked on his water as König landed the punchline. In between hacking up a lung, he laughed uncontrollably. The attention it drew from the rest of the patrons made König shrink down in his chair and look at the wall.

When Alex had finally composed himself, he apologized for the outburst. "I love puns." He said, still huffed out some laughs.

"You've got a smile that could disarm an army, its quite the weapon." The words slipped from König's lips before his brain could register what he had said.

There was a silence that hung in the air between them for what felt like an eternity. Alex was flabbergasted by the sudden admission. König was considering jumping off the roof.

"Oh mein Gott" He whispered. He looked up at Alex, just sitting there. "I-I'm so sorry, Alex! That came out completely wrong, I must sound like an idiot. Ich könnte im Boden versinken." (I could sink into the ground)

Alex reached across the table and gripped one of König's hands tightly. He thumbed at König's rough, calloused hands and smiled. "König, its okay. I understand what you were saying. I appreciate the compliment."

König began to relax, and squeezed Alex hand. His heart was burning bright as Alex's soft hand embraced his.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Alex said. "You're doing fine. I'm here. You've already won me over... so just be yourself."

König swallowed hard. This was the most interest anyone had ever had in him. Alex wasn't scared of him, or using him as a quick fuck. He talked to him like he was just another guy. Well, not just another guy. They were on a date.

König's head was swimming in happiness the rest of the date. He refused to let Alex's hand go, save long enough for Alex to pay the bill. "My treat." He had said as he handed his card to the waiter. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

König, not wanting to let the night end, insisted on walking Alex back home. It was a fairly long walk, nearly a half-hour from the restaurant.

"Du berührst mein Herz auf eine Art und Weise, die ich nicht in Worte fassen kann." He mumbled along the way. (You touch my heart in a way that I can't put into words)

"You going to tell me what that means?" Alex inquired.

"Nein." König chuckled. "Its my secret."

When the reached the stoop of the apartment complex, Alex walked up the first two steps and turned to face König. Finally at eye-level with the man. Those striking blue eyes. The short, dirty-blond hair with whisps of grey. His lips, a soft pink.

"Je peux t'embrasser?" Alex asked. (Can I kiss you?) "What?" König asked.

"Its my secret." Alex winked.

Taking the chance, he put his arm around König's waist and pulled him in. Their faces were centimetres apart, and König's nervous breath was warm on Alex's face. Alex leaned in and pressed his lips to König's. They were soft, and he eagerly leaned into it. His hands made their way to Alex's waist and held him tightly.

König tilted his head, and in his timid nature, slowly slid his tongue in. It barely grazed against Alex tongue before pulling back. Their lips parted briefly, then locked again. A little more tongue again. When the moment passed, König rested his head against Alex's.

They stood there in the cool night air, enjoying a new moment. A peaceful moment König had never experienced before. It was almost overwhelming for him, to have experienced so much joy in so little time. Three dates. He was falling in love.

König watched as Alex entered his building, and only left when he saw the light of his apartment flicker on. "Goodnight." He whispered.

He put his mask back on to hide the idiotic smile plastered across his face, and decided to walk the full hour back to the base. He wanted the time to replay the whole date. The kiss, especially.

#lgbtq #gay #writing #cod #König #Konig #call of duty #mw2 #mw ii #cod mwii #cod mwf2 #romance #datenignt #fanfiction #fanfic #original character #oc stuff #my oc #oc #König x Male #Konig x Male

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archivomeow · 9 months

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“ watch my shattered edges glisten ”

marvel cinematic universe | read on ao3

summary: Yelena believes she’s broken and learns what Aromantic and Asexual is, from a friend - Kate Bishop.

a/n: anyways i need some good aroace rep also o tried my best to include terms like aplatonic or afamilial, i will probably expand on those in future fics!

Yelena couldn’t help but feel lost, every since she was a little girl she did, life screwed her over, she had major trauma, PTSD, abandonment issues and many other things that still needed to be worked out in therapy. One thing that was brought up multiple times were relationships and dating, she always assumed she wasn’t ready, that she just felt broken, that as soon as she got fixed she would do all of the normal stuff - date, love others in that special way she hasn’t loved anyone yet, but as days and months passed she saw no change, she still felt trapped on every date she went out on as soon as things were becoming too overwhelming for her. At some point the topic was dropped to he renewed im therapy later on, as nothing seemed to work to fix her. She was unfixable, broken forever and she hated it.

That thought made her heart ache, made her stomach hurt, she somewhat also found joy and comfort in that, in loneliness. She hated the thought at times, but it seemed so precious at other times, so convenient and comfortable, like it fit her, but it’s not normal, so she had to fix herself… or so she believed. It was rainy Tuesday, a meaningless day that changed everything for her, that showed her a new path, her path.

Yelena wandered around, with no apparent destination, she left the bar in a rush just to walk around in rain, passing couples, families and singles all running from the rain as she soaked, with no umbrella or a hoodie, she just walked, her hair and clothes dripping wet but she couldn’t care less at the moment. She stopped at one point, as she looked around recognising the neighbourhood - she was here multiple times, ever since she tried to kill Clint Barton, she and Kate run into each other multiple other times afterwards, which as one would assume correctly was very awkward. As time passed the two even kept in touch, Yelena send Kate post cards from all around the world and got back NYC postcards, which she kept all, as souvenirs.

Yelena moved towards Kate’s apartment, she was soaking wet and just now it hit her how her clothes were uncomfortably sticking to her skin. She walked towards the door, it felt like forever before she reached them, her hand was shaking as she knocked on the door. The door opened soon enough, Kate had her hair in a messy up-do, her makeup was clearly off and there was a fresh bruise on her face, right on the side of her forehead. She was wearing a dark purple sweater alongside grey sweatpants. Yelena stood straight as she unconsciously clenched her jaw and looked at Kate in silence for a moment.

“Hey… I wasn’t—“ Kate spoke hesitantly, but was interrupted as Yelena walked into the apartment, uninvited.

“We need to talk.” Yelena spoke firmly, as she moved her hair back, trying to unstick all the blonde hair pieces from her face.

Kate’s eyes looked at the woman, scanning her up and down. Yelena’s yellow jacket was dripping with water, right onto Kate’s tiles, so were her midnight blue pants and the white t-shirt hidden under the jacket.

“First, you get warm!” Kate demanded as she locked the door behind herself and pointed to her bedroom, in an attempt to communicate to Yelena that she can take her clothes, Kate on the other hand started to make tea.

The two sat in comfortable clothes with their hair up, covered in blanket with a warm cup of tea in their hands. Yelena was staring at Kate for a second before she spoke up, her voice not as confident as before, she paused a lot and repeated herself couple times before she said the whole thing.

“I think- I think I might be… broken.” She mumbled, looking down at her tea cup.

“Why?” Kate questioned the woman, trying to figure out what exactly the unexpected visit was about. She sipped her tea, making sure to stay focused on Yelena.

“I don’t- I don’t love… It’s like I’m heartless…”

“You don’t love?” Kate furrowed her brows, she had a hint, an idea of where Yelena was going with this, but didn’t want to scare the woman, so she simply listened.

“Like… I love… But not like I’m supposed to. I love my sister and I love my dog… I love vodka, I love my family and all that… But I don’t love love, you know?”

“You mean, romantic love?”

“Yes, that.” She paused for a moment as silence filled the room. “That is a fancy word for love.”

“Well we have different types of love…” Kate started slowly, as Yelena seemed to be still in her head, she wanted Yelena to let it all out, it would definitely help the woman - to share.

“I just… I don’t get it, why don’t I feel it? What is wrong with me? Why me? And I- I… I want to feel it, I want to love and I want to be normal and I- I just… I don’t understand…” She paused, before continuing the rant, Kate simply listened.

“I want to love and to be loved and I want to understand love love… I thought I did… But I’m not sure anymore. It’s not right, it’s not…” Yelena breathed out sharply.

“Yelena, breathe…” Kate smiled reassuringly as she put her cup down. “It’s okay.” She nodded as she spoke. “You don’t have to love… besides love is such a smaller thing then people make it out to be.” Kate placed a reassuring hand on Yelena’s shoulder as she continued to speak.

“You’re not broken, you don’t need to be fixed, you’re not lacking or missing out. You’re completely fine, completely normal and completely valid. You don’t need love, romantic, platonic, familial, it doesn’t matter… There’s so much more then love to live for… No matter what you feel, how you feel, what love you feel or don’t feel, it doesn’t make you less, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you disgusting.”

Kate shifted in her seat, Yelena looked at the woman, she wanted her to continue to speak to say more. To reassure her, that she was fine, that she will feel it, but that’s not quite where Kate was going.

“You don’t need it now or ever. Your inability to love same way as others do doesn’t make you less. You might love in whatever way you want to someday but you might not… Both are alright, okay?” Kate smiled warmly at Yelena.

“But that’s not…” Yelena mumbled softly as she seemed to be processing what Kate was saying.

“It’s fine.” Kate nodded slowly. “You being different doesn’t make you less and you’re never alone, okay?”

Yelena nodded at Kate’s words, still slightly lost.

“Ever heard about aromanticism and asexuality?” Kate asked catching Yelena’s attention.

“No…What’s that?”

“If you’re on the aromantic spectrum - it means you experience little to no romantic attraction or you experience it only under certain circumstances. Being asexual is the same but with sexual attraction.”

“So little to no sexual attraction or only under certain circumstances?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Kate’s voice went high pitched as she got overly excited, but had no intention to hide it. “There’s a lot more too… Like A-Spec, with identities like aplatonic, afamilial and such…”

A light sigh and an ‘oh’ left Yelena’s mouth as she seemed to understand the information.

“So I’m that?”

“I can’t tell you that… But I can help you do some research, how about that?”

“Yeah…Let’s do that.” Yelena nodded with a determined look in her eyes.

#yelena belova #marvel #writing #fanfic #yelena belova aroace #aroace yelena belova #yelena belova imagine #kate bishop #kate bishop imagine #mcu fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #kate bishop & yelena belova friendship

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anaalnathrakhs · 29 days

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heeehee hooohoho nothing has weight, sense, or value anymore. everything is everybody's fault. no one can be blamed for anything. sorry for being an asshole i'm just going to fucking kill myself.

i asked my mom if she remembered if we set up an account for me to check an info, she said she didn't know, i said okay thanks, don't do anything about it though.

this afternoon, while i'm sleeping, i get a text that goes like "okay so you do this and this and this on the website!" and i haul my ass out of bed to do it before the cutoff time this evening, and it leads me to the exact same problem of needing an account. so. my mom could take the time to search for a way to resolve a problem she THOUGHT i had. despite me telling her explicitely, bc i'm starting to get used to it, not to do anything about it and it was just a question. but then she didn't click through the thing to check. bc she just googled it and sent me what she read. after telling me "noooo, no need to check" when i had asked her. she said it "went over her head" that i had said EXPLICITELY "please don't do anything about it".

i have no fucking idea what to think. i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, yes, and my own fault for even mentioning the topic, yes. but on the other hand, why the fuck is such a simple thing impossible? we've had so many discussions about what i'm uncomfortable with, and there's many things that didn't change, which i understand, because i'm not a toddler, i have complex needs but also the ability to mitigate and handle discomfort, they have priorities, they have no obligation to uproot their habits for me. but then such a small fucking thing is also too much?????? i ask her one yes/no question, and she invents a problem i didn't have from the situation, halfasses solving it, and brings me the result like yay! mom to the rescue! despite me telling her NOT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE TOPIC OF THE VERY SIMPLE YES/NO QUESTION. that she had told me to not even bother checking when she answered. we've had discussions about it. i've learned to tell her NOT TO CHECK because for some reason when i say "hey have you seen this thing around?" she hears "go fetch me this thing", and despite that she was still showing up two days later like yay! i found it in the back of the guest room closet where we never go! mom to the rescue! and like, i know you're a workaholic, but could you please not invent yourself fucking quests when i told you to drop it?

and on the other other hand, i'm a fucking hypocrite, because it's true she does tell me often not to do something, and i slide the problem a little to the left and carry on. but i don't fucking know. she said that like, well, you know what i'm talking about. purging in the toilets. I HAVENT ASKED YOU TO CLEAN THEM AND I HAVE DONE MY BEST TO CLEAN THEM AND I WOULD'VE DONE THE PROPER DEEP-CLEAN IF YOU HAD ASKED ME AND ALSO I HAVE A FUCKING RAGING EATING DISORDER THAT AFFECTS ME LIKE PRETTY MUCH 24/7.

and holy fuck. i'm a constant problem for everybody around me. it's cool. how am i supposed to "get better progressively" when everything i do is fucking poison damage to everybody around. how am i supposed to accept being around people often, when this is not a harsh pass or a difficult time, it's just what life's been for my entire existence.

like trust me mom, i'm counting the days til i can move out too! but am i. im possibly planning to get a year of higher education in my hometown, after all. but also i might have to drop out of school so 🥴 possibly a step towards leaving, possibly a step towards living in my parents basement until they die out and i inherit the house. fucking fantastic. i should just cut it short and either have the balls to kill myself, or drop out and get the best job i can with what i have.

it's cool! i thought i was doing good, doing better, improving, but turns out haha me doing better is just at the expense of other people! how silly of me to believe i could perhaps not be a source of suffering to everybody around me if i worked hard on it! everybody in my life fucking hates me and they're right tbh what the fuck have i done for them. i mean i tried, but have i succeeded?

ANYWAY i have until monday to figure out what i'm going to do. does anyone have a movie rec for someone killing some stand-in for the unfeeling standardize reglementation, cuz i need some catharsis rn.

#it makes me so deeply mad that there is some kind of obligation of treatement in place #when the system is not build to accomodate the needs of those who are sent to it #let alone their numbers #okay so my personal life is a bit difficult but school generally helps me be a bit better #solution proposed by fuckheads: you're suspended until you get help from our Flawless system that has harmed you in the past #that has five billion years of waitime for the two and a half people in the city who accept new clients #good luck for your graduation exams next month that will define your life from now on!#broadcasting my misery #vent

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musashi · 8 months

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need to talk about this fucking thing that keeps happening to me because i am genuinely furious about it

so. anyone who has been following me in the past year knows that i have spent a huge amount of time venting about the "you are a tar pit" discourse and how it has been personally affecting me on a really notable level. on both sides, really.

on one side: i am an acts of service bitch. the way i show love is through being there for people. sometimes this means lending them an ear when they are hurting and sad. other times this means doing chores for them, beta reading their writing, making them dinner after a long day. either way, i like to do things for people.

on the other side: though completely independent, i am a human being. i am not so foolish as to believe that i can somehow survive without close social bonds. that has been proven time and time again to be an unrealistic goal for human beings to achieve.

the abridged version of what i am currently going through is: i am at a point in my life where making close friends and a network of support feels impossible. this is especially scary to me, because it was never hard before! i'm extroverted, im stubborn, i'm always trying new things and putting myself into new situations, and i am great at making friends in general. however, over the last half a decade or so, i have noticed that i have reached some invisible wall when it comes to crossing over "friends" into "support"

again, this has never been hard before. when i was a teenager my friends and i would sit beneath the stars and talk about all our deepest traumas. even just four years ago, i was in a discord server where more often than not, my friends and i would all wind up in the vent channel listening to one another and asking each other what we could do to help. deep social bonds have always been a thing that formed very naturally for me--you make friends. you offer support when they seem like they need a listening ear. they do the same to you. you guys do this for as long as you want or need.

something changed though. i do not think it's me, because i've been asking around and gathering data and trying to untangle if there is anything different about the way i approach friendships. this is the mystery. i do not know what changed. but i cannot make friends like this anymore, with VERY special exceptions.

tl;dr, when i need a friend to cry on, i don't have anyone besides my partner. this is not something that is feasible. your support system cannot be one person. you need at least two, ideally a few more. that way no one gets overwhelmed dealing with their own shit AND yours all the time.

i don't struggle to make friends. but whenever i let slip that i've felt pain in the past (for instance, talking about a rough thing i went through years back) i get long, uncomfortable silences. as if it's a social faux pas to have ever felt pain. or to bring it up. this is insane to me--when a friend is vulnerable with me like that, i just want to hug them and tell them how happy i am that they moved past it and found their way to me. when i do it, though, everyone just ignores it/me with the hopes that the topic will pass. it hurts pretty bad, the rejection of that vulnerability.

and if i can't feel pain in past tense, well. present tense is right out. countless cries for help are met with my DMs dead. i've tried reaching out in every way i know how. i've tried being direct. i've tried being subtle. i've tried going to multiple communities i'm in. i've tried being more general and public. i cannot get anyone in my life, no matter how close, to talk to me when i am sad. i can't even get them to send a message like 'hey, love you. dealing with too much of my own shit to be there for you right now, but you're in my heart.'

i get silence. horrible, horrible silence. or worse: performance in public ("sending hugs! love you, hope things get better!") and then complete silence in my DMs. everyone wants to pretend they are being a friend to me, no one wants to do it.

lots of preamble. let me tell you about the annoying fucking advice i keep getting:

"go to therapy."

are you fucking KIDDING me?

therapy is good. therapy is a powerful medical tool. many people need therapy, and at many points in my life, i have needed it too! i like to think i am pretty damn good at understanding when i might need to reach out for professional help, and i have absolutely no shame in doing so.

bestie, this is not a go to therapy situation.

a go to therapy situation was my early 20s, riddled with unhealthy coping mechanisms and undiagnosed personality disorders, where i had no idea how to get a handle on myself. therapy is a weekly session where you and someone who knows how to untangle you tackle that shit together, and then ideally you eventually stop therapy because you fix the problem. the ideal situation for a therapist is one day they say goodbye to their client and never see them again. therapy is for when you do not know the solution to your problem.

i know the solution to my problem. i need a friend. my problem is social and emotional isolation. the solution is having a friend. i am not paying someone hundreds of dollars i do not have to tell me to make friends.

i need the people who say this shit to understand that i am not an unhappy person. for what i am dealing with (PTSD, BPD, NPD, HPD, ADHD, autism, OCD, OCPD & addiction) i am pretty damn well adjusted! meltdowns and episodes are something i excel at. i have perfected the art of getting a handle on myself and i do it rawdog sober! no medication, no self medication, nothing except coping strategies i developed all by myself (without therapy, because i have never been able to afford it, and my parents did not want to send me there as a traumatized child)

when you see me melting down on here, here is what is actually happening:

sometime mundane probably got me down in the dumps. yesterday, i was frustrated with writing, and i needed someone to validate those feelings. it would have been, at most, a ten minute conversation. i would have been like 'IM SAD!' and the hypothetical friend would've been like 'FUCK THAT YOU'RE SAD! I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE FEELING THIS WAY AND IT MUST SUCK! I LOVE YOU!' and then i wouldn've been like 'THANKS!' and gone back to doing payroll because my ass was at work.

what many people saw was my ensuing meltdown. because i didn't get that ten minute conversation. which made me think about how i can't even talk to a friend about the mundane annoyances in life and how they hurt. which made me think about how alone i am, despite all my best efforts to change that fact. which made me scream and cry and throw up even more, because that is not a little problem. that is a big problem i have been trying to make sense of and fight for half a year now, and i have made no progress. it's causing me to split for the first time in half a decade--i'd gotten such a handle on BPD, i thought i was done with splitting! i forgot what it even felt like. it's causing me to cancel all my plans because sitting in a room with my friends just makes me think about how, like, if i died i feel like none of them would really give a shit.

so what the 'go to therapy' crowd is suggesting is a combination of these two things:

pay 200 dollars to someone to tell them, every few weeks, that i'm sad because sometimes my creative hobby causes me some mild autistic frustration

pay 200 dollars to someone for them to tell me, unhelpfully, that i need friends.

i am sick and tired of the 'go to therapy' crowd. therapy is a medical resource! it is for people who need medical help. this anon (who i blocked, obv) also sent me a huge wall of text about "compassion fatigue" and how i cannot expect other human beings to want to be compassionate towards one another and it's just... fuck OFF, dude. everyone has days where they feel they can't be there for others, that's normal, and it's not the fucking problem. if that were the case, i'd be getting DMs that said stuff like 'hey, i love you, can't be a support friend right now but you're in my thoughts.' i do not get those. i never have.

"compassion fatigue" go fuck yourself man. the compassion i feel for my fellow man never fucking dies. i have days where i need to look out for myself but that is normal and easy to communicate. the idea that one's compassion can run out is the stupidest shit i have ever heard.

maybe if you actually practiced compassion instead of screaming 'go to therapy' at all your hurting friends you would find more of a surplus of it in your life. maybe if you weren't such a coward foisting your relationships onto a medical professional because you're too scared and nonconfrontational to simply LISTEN to the people in your life, you wouldn't be exhausted. it must be tiring, running away all the time.

so, i will reiterate what i said earlier: eat shit and die. eat shit and die, and i hope in the afterlife when you are mourning all the friends of yours you hurt by not being there for them, you have a good therapist.

fuck off with this shit. "sometimes i have a bad day and i wish i had a friend or two to talk to when that happens." "LMAO ummmm maybe you should go to therapy instead <3"

#wordy wendy #wendy rants

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kissmetwicekissmedeadly · 1 year

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I know you already talked about but this I think the fandom has changed a lot. I am a shy reader so I stay on anon and I don't reblog much because my Tumblr is small. But I have been around for a few years and its not the same.

There was a lot more playfulness and silly posts. People reblogged other people's writing a lot more. I also had fun following how people talked to each other.

The kind of writing people wanted was different. You didn't have such a focus on how "good" the writing was or how much imagery a writer used. It was about the stories being told and it feels like that has changed. The fandom seems to only want that flowery writing, those blogs that write at a "elevated" level. I was just fine without it, to be honest.

I am sad that people are not liking things and that Prince is taking over more and more. There is no love anymore for Vamp or Sen or Rev (my beloved Rev 😭)

I don't know why I am reaching out to you except you have been here a long time, one of the best blogs in this fandom. And part of me is just sad that it feels like the fandom is dying.

Oh my god anon..... when i saw your ask last night i got overwhelmed with emotion and with all the things that popped up in my head that i wanted to say to you, but today real life gave me another portion of problems and I'm sitting here giving my screen a blank stare. i hate this, i really want to give you a better answer, but let me try. and thank you for sending it in this blog, i feel even more comfortable talking on here!

The thing you pointed out about the quality of writing and people's demands.... it's actually something i wrote in my last reply to you. and then deleted it. because i thought, "haha no it must be just me", but now that you say it, im prone to agree - your angle of things is actually very trustworthy in my opinion, being someone who's been here for so long and observed from afar. for me it's easier to forget how it was in the beginning, but now that you say it, you're absolutely right... the blogs i looked up to, the writers i admired, weren't put on a pedestal for their skills, it was purely in my head how great they were - to a point where it makes me sad that it feels like ive received more praise now than they did back then. some of them don't write as often anymore, if at all... it's not right. i wonder why did that happen and when, and if it's actually harmful for us writers or im being too cautious. i want to be just like you sometimes, to enjoy the fruits of this fandom from the comfort of being a small blog seldom interacting with posts but still appreciating them from afar - i've been that person in other fandoms, and it has its perks definitely. it's just some strange miracle that i became what i am right now and broke through the shell of being a shy reader! seriously! i appreciate you and people like you, because im glad that i can make more of those fruits for you to enjoy. it's an unpopular opinion but ive never been mad at lurkers all that much. everyone has their reasons to feel uncomfortable interacting, and other than that, i personally want to have a blog where people escape from the hustle of being seen and present. again, that's just me, and i'll encourage commenting and sharing work when it comes to my peers... we're getting off topic, haha. and i should make a paragraph break already

i want to comfort you somehow but without lying to you that "nooo it's alright we're still having fun around here and the fandom is totally not dying" and we could make what the musicians on titanic did, but hey, we're not in the middle of the ocean and i seriously cant be a pessimist 😭 i don't think that it's that bad - i did say that some writers are put on pedestal, but are they really? i doubt anyone is seeing those things so dramatically, well maybe that one anon. but that's just one case, and unfortunately it affects how we see things A LOT , because noone else allows themselves to point out things in such dramatic light, no matter if they're right or not. we're paying the anon a lot of attention, so this fucks with our heads to a certain degree. i think that you should rest assured that this mood around the fandom is temporary, same with the more fun postings that you mentioned - i have a theory for that too, and it's because ikepri is simply not allowing for as much goofing around as its predecessors. you still see your doze of cursed jokes but they're not realistic in the nature of the game's world like they would in ikerev for instance, or even ikevamp . but that's fine because, and this is something i actually thought about the other day, they can't keep making more and more dramatic dark and twisted all overly serious games (right? right?) , somewhere along the way a game with the carefree atmosphere of ikerev will come to existence again, and we'll heal again. and the hateful anons who dont see that we're just a bunch of people having fun without that made-up hierarchy , will get bored and go away eventually. i believe in that, and i really want to make you believe too

i enjoyed talking with you about this, and i hope i didn't gave any unnecessary seriousness to our talk because im trying very hard to stick to the belief that our time here should be purely just positive and fun... and hey, we might have not interacted much, but knowing that you've been here for awhile already makes me feel you close somehow hkhkhkhk is that weird??

now, let me give you this ticket: 🎫 that equals one xxsycamore request (from the valentines/1000 followers one) and i want you to think of the most self-indulgent prompt you can come up with and send it. you said ikerev my beloved so if you end up choosing that (seeing that there is a serious lack of those requested 😭😭) id be even happier to write it for you. dont worry to refuse ofc <33

im sorry that this was all over the place and thank you for coming here anon. have a great day ❤

#kissmetwicekissmedeadly askbox

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skadren · 1 year

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I keep seeing a bunch of live and let go, boundaries are personal and not moral stances posts about writing and i largely agree ppl should be able to explore what they want in fic but also. Is there a way to balance or talk about "hi um white author so you kinda reinvented racism/blood eugenics and unilaterally present sex work as inherently degrading and etc etc etc for Shipping Angst Drama fodder, when the text is like. None of that" in fandom or even just in like. A server community. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive bc i feel constructed/projected misery is kind of tacky to begin with and i wouldn't do it with a complete stranger but idk my guy. I don't want to alienate myself but it's weird to go completely uncritical here

i think there are a couple items you need to check off the list before you can go "yes talking to internet stranger #37461239 about a highly sensitive topic is a good idea"

is it tagged appropriately? if it's tagged trust me the writer knows. they have probably gotten way more unsolicited feedback than they would really like

is the portrayal you're concerned about reinforcing an unhealthy or discriminatory predominant social narrative? if it is and you think the writer is genuinely unaware, then yeah, it might be worth bringing up. the emphasis here is on predominant please i am begging on my hands and knees

will this result in a productive conversation? if the intent behind this is to get people to reconsider, it isn't helping anyone if you know it will just lead to them doubling down and doing it even worse. at that point you're only making a performative statement to validate your own stance

if it really is bothering you that much, is there a compelling reason why you can't just block and move on? it isn't your responsibility nor is it feasible to fix how a fandom is doing things, especially if it's a group of people you don't really know. your own mental health always comes first, and a bit of salty venting in private with your friends never hurts anyone

if it IS a friend or acquaintance who is doing this and you think they would be open to discussing it with nuance, then you can probably bring it up. if that person has a basic level of consideration and respect for you it tends to go well, but i've also seen people double down because they already know there's something wrong with their attitudes but get mad at you for wanting them to change, and then it creates a whole ton of drama and people get hurt and it's not pretty. so. ymmv

ultimately, someone's views on racism or sex work or whatever is reflective of a broader social norm, and fandom is not the best space to try to fix that through confrontation-- it's usually someone's "safe space" where they want to retreat from the world, not come face-to-face with any sort of personal reckonings. do i think it's a mark of privilege that some people have the luxury of ignoring these issues when they "just want to have fun"? yes, but again, this is about being able to have productive discussion, not about what's "fair". unfortunately.

my two cents: if you're in a server community or some other space that makes you uncomfortable there's really nothing wrong with going "hey, we have fundamentally different standards when it comes to [x], and i don't think i want to be here" and moving on. the best way to challenge these things is quite literally to make your own food. there's a much better chance of the people you're worried about coming across it and realizing they like it than magically being able to argue them down with well-placed logic and reasonable points or whatever

EDIT: OH ALSO IM STUPID if you mean talking about it in general. not naming writer names but trends in the fandom. yes absolutely-- not in a public space like social media but definitely find a group of people who you trust who you can talk about these things with!! it is good and healthy. just make sure it isn't just a discord server open to the public or smth tho so you personally know and trust everyone who can see it (and you don't accidentally shit talk someone who is in that space lmao)

#skadren rambles #long post #tldr; fandom is allowed to be your safe space too and you dont need to cater to anyone. or fix them. or whatever #it's less that 'people writing these things is okay' and more #starting drama is never a good look and it shits on your mental health and the internet is not a good place for nuanced discussions anyways #if you're planning to take on a whole community you will NOT be able to win i promise

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rottingsparrow · 2 years

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Part 3!! Of rereading Lore Olympus. Episodes 21-30

⚠️Content Warning! This review contains the episode arc of Wolf in the Hen house, an arc ahout SA⚠️

So it seems to be better to post 10 at a time so that's what I'm gonna do, I'll try to post em daily since I usually read like 20 at a time but who knows.

Ep 21

Hermes lets gooo

Look naked persephone just in case you forgot that shes gorgeous

“Demeter sends her a lot of letters” didnt they not live near each other if not together what

Why does apollo introduce himself like that- oh i know bc rachel cant organically make someone bad shes gotta kinda force it /lh

Apollo is being a dick just let her talk like interrupting is a dick move and what he said obv

“Let me help you” “no thanks” yeah i mean she doesnt need help

Plus youre being a dick like

Ep 22

“Hes my brother” i dont care shes uncomfortable

Quick apollo make a comment about your sisters body so we know how much of a dick you are

Also why does she slip with the knife we dont see her and then ope she has a cut i feel like it couldve been done better

“Alot of blood” did you stab yourself wtf

I know they are gods but shes also the goddess of the hunt she should have stuff lying around for her or maybe animals

See the thing with apollo is he doesnt ask to do anything he just assumes its fine which is one thing but it feels like rachel hammers home the point so violently

“ let me help you!” use ur words king

“I dont have great control of my moods” get a therapist bestie

Also he has no reason to be overprotective he just met her what is it with men and becoming immediately attached to persephone

Cause shes so gorgeous and sweet and naive or whatever

which i think we should discuss the portrayal of her being naive and how it is a part of p*dophilic culture

Ep 23

Haha! I know you dont like this man so i will joke about it

Why is one eye golden bc he used his powers or

Stop grabbing her she just forgave you

Ur so uncomfortable around this man so none of us will pay any attention to you guys together

Are they watching carrie

Why. honestly just why

Ep 24

Hey uh just tw for sexual assault bc its that epsiode

“What time is it” “i came to see you” thats not an answer

Once again the he doesnt ask he just does

“Youve been flirting with me all day” has? She?

Like its gross and apollo is in the wrong but can we ask why we needed to see it, even part of it. Thats so intense

And also, how does it help the story. Genuinely. Did Rachel just do this bc persephone needed to explore her darker side i find it uncomfortable

She handles the topic fine but why was it necessary, i know its smth that happens but it feels so. forced into the story

I guess to get her out of the maidenhood thing but wouldnt it have been so nice to watch her make the decision on her own as a form of growth

Im glad we stop having to see it

I know why the pictures are used later but right now, why does he take pictures

Also its so weird that hes like “keep it between you and me” there isnt any reason for that other than like. Hes bad

Ep 25

Why did his name change for Aidoneus to Hades i dont know the stories that well

The shiny rocks are nice i wish we got to see his connections to gems more

I wish the titans looked more diff than the gods i know they are related but it would be cool

Why did Gaia say that he would destroy them

Vore :/

Glad hades has a therapist

Dog

Ep 26

i do like the fact that this episode is a call its nice

Omg they said the title

“Im the king of the underworld” ok and?? Anyone could tell shes crying

I like the small talk i know it doesnt move the story but its realistic

Hades hears her crying and is like. Im gonna bully you for it

Yeah its teasing and its cute if she wasnt already sad yknow

“Persephone why did you stop talking? I just completely called you out while you are upset”

Ep 27

Why was he in the mortal realm with minthe im curious

“It was different” rachel then retcons that and says it was a one time thing

It does sound like hes making fun of her

Her face and hermes proportions in that one panel oml

“I dont like talking about it” is a valid response persephone hades doesnt make you speak you just are very vocal

“The balance of power should always be in my favor” thank you rachel for showing why it is an unhealthy relationship

“I owe you question” never. Brought up again

Ep 28

“You dont get personal boundaries do you?” neither do you tf

Why do demeter and hades not like each other other than plot

“Working with someone doesnt mean youre compatible” works with minthe(and later works with persephone)

Why was demeter so intense to make her join maidenhood i know to protect her but like if she kept her with her she could be protected too right

Aw they fell asleep on the phone together

How did their phones not die tho

Ep 29

Oh wait look we see one dog that isnt the main three lets go

And hes wearing glasses its actually nice to be wrong

Artemis’ bangs are not long enough to pull into a bun oml

Ill say it: i hate how rachel portrayed zeus and heras marriage. Like they love each other and there couldve been a better way to do this then them arguing all the time

I know ive said it plenty of times but the lack of color consistency is annoying same goes for body types

So if he commands someone they have to do it or

Shes right tho he does whatever he wants

Hebe is cute

I do like how hera dresses

Ep 30

Hebe is so smart but like why let her be 8

Also let me see the other kids who is her sister that she is getting out of bed

“How about a test!” thats a terrible idea

New outfit!

“Persephone has big boobs” we know shes like supposed to be perfect or whatever

Imagine stopping aging at 19 gross also how does their aging work

“ i think ur depressed bc u arent challenged” hera. Stfu up

Also you cant say job and then have her be an intern

Also i know its just so they can be close to each other but god its so dumb

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus #my opinion #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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dokyeomini · 3 years

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god i actually remembered a guy from uni spoke about weight loss almost all evening on tuesday and gave me tips i did. not. ask for lmao

#i told him hey im telling you straight up this topic makes me kinda uncomfortable can we change the subject and he still did not want to #every time he started the topic (or any topic really) i was like please for the love lf god shut the fuck up #i think he grabbed onto an offhanded joke/comments i made about something and he took it as a sign to give me tips #like mate..... please.....

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iwadori · 3 years

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are you going to do a 'when the haikyuu boys make you insecure' part with Iwaizumi / could I request that?

When they make you insecure part 6 (Iwaizumi,Matsukawa)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.8K

Genre: Angst, Fluff

masterlist

AN: Did I embedd myself in this story? Yes, yes i did. :3 (it’s only a small part dw loool)

Iwaizumi

One day when you were walking to the gym to go see your boyfriend

You overhear him and the team talking about some instagram girl

“She’s hot” you hear Boktuo yell doing a hoot as he fawns over a picture, with the rest of the guys agreeing.

“What do you think Iwaizumi?” Hinata ask

“She’s cute... I guess?” the rest of the guys, grunt in disagreement at Iwa’s lack of drooling over the girl.

“Well I see why you wouldn’t want her Haji-kun,” says Atsumu “you are into the more simple girls bro”

“Simple?” Iwaizumi questions, and the rest of the guys agree

“Yeah simple, you know Y/N... she’s simple” says one of the guys, with the word ‘simple’ rolling off their tounge with a tone of disgust.

“I guess your right guys...” Iwaizumi says “Y/N is pretty basic and simple but-”

You leave the gym before you hear what the rest of them had to say. When you got to your house you bolt straight to the mirror, you look at your outfit and frown. You never thought your style was ‘basic,’ to be fair you wouldn’t describe anybodys style as basic or simple. Of course, you weren’t like those instagram influencers, that wasn’t your thing. But Iwa has known that about you for years... but I guess that’s not what he truly likes.

You go to your closet and take out all the contents, just tossing all your clothes (even some of your favourite items ever) and dashing them in a black trash bag putting them to the side. You were already on a mission to buy a whole new wardrobe, going through all different stores and looking on pinterest for inspo.

You didn’t really talk to Iwa for the rest of the week, since you wanted him to see you in your ‘new form,’ you weren’t being radiosilent but you didn’t initiate any hang outs with him or face time calls (which he did find slightly odd, but didn’t think that much by it.)

Finally, the clothes came and you were kind of shocked at how much you ordered you spent over £200 on clothes from all different places. When you were trying them on, you liked some of them the ones that were kind of similar to your past style but not so ‘simple,’ the others you kind of frowned at since it definitely didn’t feel like ‘you’ at all. ‘This is for Iwa,’ you reminded yourself as your forced a smile on your face analysing yourself in the mirror.

You had everything sorted, your wardrobe was now changed and done the colours and styles you once wore before is now the complete opposite. You invited Iwa over, hesistantly waiting to see how would he react.

When you hear your door knock, you rush over to open it and model a pose you saw one of those girl do trying to look as natural as possible.

“Hey babe ho-” he says, with his eyes widening seeing your new look “Woah Y/N!”

“Hey Haji..come in!” you exclaim with a beaming smile pulling him inside to the couch. “So, are we going to continue watching the crown, I watched the previous episode and god prince phillip is such a dick.”

You look over your shoulder and see Iwa still standing in your entranceway a bit awkwardly, looking a bit stunned. “Come sit down then, we’ve got an episode to watch.”

“uh oh yeah, sure” he says blinking, following you to the couch.

You got through atleast 4 episodes together, you barely talked as you were really engrossed in the show. Iwa was barely paying attention, he was too busy questioning how you were acting. This definitely wasn’t the girl he knew, even the way you were acting whilst watch the show was odd. The way you’d cutely giggle and ‘sublty’ look over to him whilst laughing at a funny part of the show instead of just doing your usual obnoxious laugh that he loved to hear.

“Oh Y/N, I’m going to go to the bathroom.” he says standing up, you don’t reply you just wave your hand in acknowledgement.

On his way to the bathroom, Iwa nearly trips on a black bag left outside your bedroom door. He opens it, and mildly gasped when he saw all your old stuff jumbled up in there. He picks up the back and goes straight back to the living room and stands in front of you.

“Haji, what are you doing you’re blocking the TV” you complaining trying to see what’s happening behind him.

He drops the black bag infront of you and you internally curse yourself for not moving. You stare at him waiting for him to say something.

“Well whats this then.” he says looking down at you, almost like a disapproving dad.

“Clothes.” you say smartly, knowing what he was asking.

“You know what I meant Y/N, why are all your clothes in a garbage bag.”

“Because I wanted to put them there,” you wanted to seem as nochalant about it as possible as if putting all your clothes in a garbage bag doesn’t make you feel sad.

“Yeah but why?” he says sitting down next to you.

“Just because I wanted to” you reiterate “what else do you want me to say?”

“Well this isn’t like you, its just a bit random Y/N” he says

“I know this isnt like me you” you spat, standing up “Isn’t this what you wanted anyways.” You head to your bedroom picking up the bag with you, with Iwa hot on your heels.

“What do you mean this is what I wanted?” he says in disbelief “When did I ever say that?”

“It doesn’t matter” you mumble, you start to aggressively take our your old clothes and shove them back into your wardrobe whilst Iwa is just talking. You’re not really listening to him your just putting the clothes back.

“Y/N Stop!” he yells kind of knocking you out of your ‘trance,’ “what is going on with you?” he grabs you hands and pulls them down stopping you from what you were doing and he winced at seeing your tear stricken face.

He gently pulls you into his arms sitting you both on your bed, waiting for you to speak. “I don’t know what you want from me Iwa..” you start your voice slightly breaking “it’s just I did this all for you and you don’t even appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what you mean Y/N?” he says sounding genuinely confused.

“Y/N is simple and basic.” you say repeating words that you heard your boyfriend say about you, you feel him tense as you say it and you slowly get out of his hug.

“Y/N I-”

“That really hurt Hajime, I know now that I'm not your ‘type’ but I-”

“No Y/N, you are my type of course you are!” he says gulping in nervousness “I love you, and your style. I’ve always being enamored by how you dress and present yourself and I don’t know why I even said you’re basic and simple I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Really?” you say sniffling looking down

“Yes really you idiot,” he says lifting your head up “To be fair I don’t care what you wear, since you look great in anthing I just want you to be happy Y/N and especially not dress for anyone including me. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree slightly nodding your head.

“Good, so can we go and finish the crown and then burn all these clothes?” Iwa jokes as he stands up.

“Burn them!” you exclaim “These cost £200, you muppet.”

“£200! Gosh Y/N, next time you go shopping im definitely coming with you.” he says shaking his head “can’t have you blowing out your bank account for clothes you don’t even like that much.”

You spend the rest of the day finishing of The Crown and you and Iwa eventually both sort out your wardrobe. Your style and aethetic changes a lot more through the times you were together and Iwa was very supportive and helpful of every single change. Especially *insert your favourite dress aesthetic here.*

Matsukawa

You were walking with your friends; Iwa, Tooru, Maki and your boyfriend Matsun. Walking to school as you did every morning, today the topic of conversation was Tooru’s bad taste in women.

“Gosh yesterday was horrible, she didn’t want to talk to me at all,” he complained “all she wanted to do was to come straight to my place, I didn’t even have the chance to tell her my hair routine.”

“That’s why you don’t find dates off of Tinder shittykawa” grunted Iwaizumi

“Well I know that now!” he exclaimed.

“Y/N,” said Makki grasping your attention “Would you ever use Tinder?”

“Well I-”

“Of course she wouldn’t” your boyfriend interrupted wrapping his arm round your shoulder “she’s got me”

“Yeah, but if you two weren’t together, would you use it.”

“Well may-”

“Y/N definitely wouldn’t” he said interrupting you AGAIN “she’s way to frigid for that shit”

Frigid? You thought to yourself, ouch. Their was a quick awkward silence and all you could hear was Matsukawa laughing with the others laughing after awkwardly in pursuit. After sensing your uncomfortability (is that a word?) Oikawa decides to change the subject to make things less awkward,

“I need a woman who understands me!” he rants “One that can listen to me and appreciate my awesome hair.”

“Goodluck with that Shittykawa.”

Oikawa rambles on as you walk to school with the other guys chiming in. You on the other hand, were lost in thought. Your sex life wasn’t something you would want to publicly talk about let alone to you and your boyfriends' male friends. Also, with Matsun describing you as ‘frigid’ struck a nerve. You weren’t frigid, well at least to you, you weren’t.

When you got to school you immediately rushed straight to your lesson claiming that you teacher really needed to talk to you. Which was odd to Matsukawa as you usually all hung around each other until the bell rang, the other boys gave each other knowing looks all assuming the reasons for your odd behaviour.

At lunch time, you stayed in your class instead of going up to the roof where you and your friends usually end up. In the class room you hear one of the girls in your class, Empress having one of her usual gossip conversations with her group of friends.

“Hajime is so hot!” she said, fanning her face being dramatic

“Of course he is! You should totally go for him.” her friend said and the rest of the friends agreed.

“What do you think Y/N?” she says to you catching your attention “you’re close friends with him right?”

“Yeah, I am” you say a bit sadly “You should definitely go for him, I think you’d be perfect together.”

“Okay! I think I might later” she says smiling. Her and friends leave, but then Empress returns and walks straight to you.

“Are you alright doll?” she asks softly smiling

“I guess so..” you say hesitantly “It’s just something my boyfriend said to me this morning.”

“Matsun?” she asks and you nod in reply “What did he say?”

After you rehash the situation from this morning Empress scowls in annoyance, “Boys can be such pigs sometimes, such a dick thing to say.”

“I know right!” you respond “Even if I was frigid, which im totally not it’s not even a bad thing nor is it something to reveal to people in public in a ‘jokey’ way.”

“Yeah!” she agrees “I think you should go and give him a piece of your mind.”

“I mean...” your voice falters, when it comes to Matsun you’ve never really given him a ‘piece of your mind,’ even when he makes jokes that you’re not so fond of.

“Come on!” she encourages “I’ll come with you and cheer you on.”

“You just want to come to see Iwa Empress” you say pointedly “But fine let’s go.”

You both power walk to the roof where you see the four seijoh boys sitting down and eating. “Oh hi Y/N/-chan and look Iwa its Emp-chan... isn’t that a surprise!” Iwa blushes and the rest of the guys laugh.

You walk straight up to Matsun and stand right infront of him. “Matsukawa I need to talk to you,” you say folding your arms. “Why whats up babe?” he says, still sitting down with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Alone.” you say turning around walking to a secluded spot. Behind you, you hear Matsun get up and the rest of the boys saying “oooh Matsukawa your in trouble” as they laugh.

“What’s wrong with you today Y/N?” he asks slightly accusatorily.

“I didn’t appreciate the comment you made today on the way to school,” you say with your arms folded.

“Oh that little comment about you being frigid, come on it was just a joke I wasn’t being serious.” he says lightly laughing but he stops once he sees the glare you give him ”you knew it was a joke right?”

“Matsun, some are your jokes just aren’t funny,” you say “especially when they're about me and our sex life in front of our friends too.”

“Y/N I didn’t mea-”

“You just come off as a huge dick sometimes, and I can’t do this anymore if you keep on making these comments anymore I don’t think I can do this.”

“Woah Y/N, are you threatening to break up with me?” he asks “Over a few little comments?”

“These aren’t a few little comments, sometimes what you say is just unnecessary and rude.”

“Okay well...”

“Well...” you repeat staring at him waiting for to apologise or atleast say something, “fuck you Matsukawa.”

You storm away and walk bout to the group saying “Empress lets go.” She jumps of Iwa’s lap and waves by to them following you back down to the school. You walk into the bathroom and just start to cry, “Y/N whats wrong?” Empress says pulling you into a hug

“H-He doesn’t care,” you cry “He pretty much excused his stupid comments, passing them off as little ‘jokes,’ that didn’t apparently mean anything.”

“Oh dear,” Empress says consoling you “he’s not worth your time right now.”

“B-but but I love him.” you wail fat tears streaming down your face.

“I know sweetheart, I know,” she says letting go of the hug “so what do you wanna do about him?”

“I don’t know,” you say “I don’t want to break up with him or anything, but is there a point in staying if he’s just going to make these comments again.”

“I don’t know Y/N, but whatever you wanna do I’ll support. Wether it’s keying his car or reading shitty fanfiction and crying.” Empress says making you laugh.

The final bell rings and now it's time to go home, of course you don’t walk with the guys so you just enjoy your own company walking home.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear from behind you and of course the only person it can be is Matsukawa.

“What do you want?” you mumbled

“I..I want too” he says heaving out of breath from the running he had to do “I want to apologise. I need do.”

“Okay...” you respond

“Im sorry, Im so so sorry,” he says “those jokes and comments were stupid and I agree I can be a dick sometimes. Well a lot of the time, but I never wanted to be a dick to you.”

“Well you were.”

“I know I was, and I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse what I said and what I have said before I just hope I can make it up to you.”

“Okay then.”

“So are we not broken up?”

“No we’re not broken up, but it’ll take a lot of making up to do for me to fully forgive you.”

“Great! And I'll spend every day to get you to forgive me.”

Which he did, he spent every day showering you with love and affection. He was way better than he was before, you even went on double dates with Oikawa and his flavour of the week and triple dates with Iwa and his girlfriend. Matsukawa, although he still made jokes, he never targeted them and centered them around you in an insulting way.

AN: I didn’t really like the matsukawa one since i couldn’t really write for him properyl sooo sorry bout that one kids.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa angst #matsukawa fluff #matsukawa oneshot #signedwithane😌

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scarsmood · 2 years

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Shapeshifting/ Transformation

Todays kink topic is transformation kink!

(And a bit of hypnosis)

Transformation is the act of turning from one state into another. To turn into another being, object or concept. This can be multiple times, just once, or only certain parts of aspects of a being changes.

Are you a science experiment? Have you taken strange pills that made you grow a tail? Are you a werewolf? Are you an eldritch horror that takes the form of what their target loves most? Perhaps this is the kink for you!

When it comes to otherkinity the concept of changing into your kintype is on a lot of beings list of things they want. Things they are really fucking down with. What if you could actually play it out though? And how? Lets also not forget about alter humans that change their form. Actual shapeshifters. We can talk about both!

When it comes about using transformation kink to feel like your kintype may i recommend hypnosis? I will have to make a novice hypnosis guide and explanation that really details how to get into it. To keep it brief finding an experienced ‘tist (short for hypnotist) is something id recommend. Having someone trigger phantom shifts and make them *stronger* is like. The best. Getting put in a mentally shifted state and having very intense phantom limbs? While wearing gear related to your kin type? We call that euphoria give it a go.

Being treated like your kintype during all of that to just makes it that much better. You can easily pick me out of a crowd of r4r sites cause i state a limit of mine is only being referred to as an animal. A lot of doms are more than happy to play what is to them a very extreme kink. while for me I just get to feel like myself. Hypnosis and transformation kink is great but you have to use hypnosis carefully.

-always have an “uncomfortable clause” in your hypnotic triggers meaning any hypnotic trigger stops if you are uncomfortable.

-always use safewords and have strong limits. Try less extreme kinks before hypnosis to make sure your partner understands boundaries and limits before playing with hypnosis

I’ll make a full post about hypnosis later (as its my favorite kink, sorry vore)

Other methods for transformation kink besides hypnosis would be roleplay, wearing gear, body make up, piercings or tattoos (more on the extreme side but still very fun!) prosthetics for otherkin (similar to gear but more on function over appearance) behavior (moving or behaving like your kintype, ex. eating from a dog bowl) having gear on 24/7 like a tag, piecing, or tattoo is something im a big fan of personally

I think my favorite part of this kink as a dom is watching someone who is otherkin click into a mental shift. There is no greater feeling than making someone feel non human and totally zonked out. Especially using transformation. Having them slowly change, maybe starting with behavior then moving to phantom sensations creeping into changing how you call them and their titles from sub to puppy or slave to dog you get the idea.

But lets also take a look at shapeshifting and experimentation. Personally I really love playing the experiment role. I shouldnt blush when someone says “hey I found this gene altering solution in the back of my file cabinet want to give it a go?”

But here we are!

Partial transformation or transformation into an object, monster, concept such as good to bad or horny to unaroused. Can be great and really fun. Slowly easing someone into something they are not for kink is a fun play into control and challenging identity ideas or stereotypes.

Shapeshifters are unique in their own right. Being able to change at will into different forms can lead to a lot of interesting scenes and dynamics by being able to quickly switch power roles and dynamics at will.

I think shapeshifters given things that restrict or give them more control over shifts is a very fun concept i don’t see explored a lot that seems very fun to me. Pushing someone to shift into something you desire also seems fun or changing forms at the will of someone else.

I think theres a lot of nuance and elegance with shapeshifter play. I think it definitely helps to play up context and background for transformation as well. Pretending its a full moon for werewolves (or an actual one) blind folding someone so they can see and having them feel like the scene is a bit more real. Shapeshifting is intense and i think that carries a lot of fun with it.

Well i think thats it for this kink. Let me know your thoughts and experiences!

#otherkin #therian #werewolfkin #dogkin #demonkin #lycan #erokin #afterdark

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petewentzisblack1312 · 3 years

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so im not a big my chem fan, but observing this from the outside points to an issue ive seen repeated in every community ive been in, whether it be fandoms or subcultures, that i think we should really try to address at its root.

it is difficult, even for people who want to, to change a community for the better, because it means acknowledging that something is wrong, and it means that there will be a change to the status quo youve become used to as we try to change. ive seen many, many actual conversations be opened and promptly labelled as discourse with 2 clean separations, with many people wanting to stay out of it and proclaiming that they wish things could go back to normal. ive tried to start conversations about things that ive noticed as a black person in alternative subcultures and fandom spaces, and they do not gain traction, not because people are ignoring it, but because they dont think its their place to share and dont want to rock the boat on it.

so how do we address this?

if you can opt out of a conversation, you need to be acutely aware of the fact that we cant. i cant wish the community went back to normal, because this is my normal. all thats happened is that now you know about it. think about the fact that these unpleasant feelings are an aberration to you but are a tuesday to me. the discomfort you feel is because its been like this all this time and you havent noticed. thats okay, but its not okay to try to ignore it once its brought to your attention.

having the affected minority control the conversation means they should control the way this conversation is spread. you need to get the explaination of why this is wrong from someone who understands the nuance better than you, and share that, not your own summary. in the same way that your teacher can explain science to you better than you can to someone else even if you understsnd the topic, you are not an expert.

one opinion does not a consensus make. you need to know what different members of the affected group think, you need to hear differing perspectives, you need to hear how those perspectives interact with each other. one person may feel that theres no excuse for not speaking out, another may feel that making a statement when they never use that medium at all is performative, and another still may think both statements are true or have a completely different and unrelated opinion. not every opinion is mutually inclusive, and even when it is, its important to understand that that doesnt mean any party is wrong.

questions are welcome. you are allowed to ask questions, even if you are not allowed to give opinions. you are welcome to engage, you are welcome to ask people (who have indicated they are willing to publicly share) questions about their views and opinions on the topic. do not reach out to people who have done nothing to indicate they are willing to share their perspectives publicly, but if there is a public forum of communication, your questions (just questions!!) are welcome.

dont get defensive. its not your fault, or anyones fault, that you didnt know this was happening, and no one is accusing you of doing anything. you didnt know, now you do, so accept the new knowledge and do better now.

dont be guilty. again, its not your personal fault, you are only at fault if you refuse to aid in fixing the problem. guilt does not help fix the problem. we do not care how bad you feel about our problem. we do not care how sorry you are we had to deal with this for so long. we care that you help improve our conditions now.

most importantly, you can and should share the conversation. i understand that seeing people talk about the prejudice they face feels like an intimate thing that is not for you, but if someone is saying "hey, i am facing this issue in our community as a minority" that is a problem for our community, not for the minority group. while your opinion may be unnecessary in the conversation, you are still a part of the community, who can reach other parts, and most importantly, raise awareness to people in it who arent in that minority group. i cant tell you the number of times i have made a post about my own experience only to have it live and die in obscurity due to well meaning people liking instead of sharing, due to being unsure if its their place to. it may not be your place to comment, but its definitely your place to share!

i hope this can help people engage with uncomfortable topics better in future.

#fall out boy #my chemical romance #mcr #fob #emo #dils declares #time to put on my clown hat and open the flood gates for microagressions lol /lh

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