You know what? Im breaking my silence. Im TIRED of people missing Jess’ character on purpose. Like, everyone can use context clues and fill in the blanks for every other character but somehow Jess is the only one taken at face value? Jess is being seen as a cold, detached, mean bitch by fans but I cannot determine whether we even watched the same movie.

Let’s address the elephant in the room, because she is a black woman who is NOT a mammy character, people criticize her harsher. Jess was MORE than Miguel’s “lackey”. She had her own thoughts and opinions. She definitely had her own personality and feelings about the entire situation. She lowkey stalled time to give Gwen chances to fix her mistakes.

If Jess was as cold as Miguel and such a “bitch”, she would’ve left Gwen the first time. Let’s not forget that Miguel was fully about to leave Gwen with her own father holding her at gunpoint, JESS vouched to bring Gwen under her name. Jess put her OWN position at risk to help Gwen and it required that she do her job accordingly. Jess made the boundary VERY clear, she is NOT Gwen’s mother. She is NOT her friend. I seen people argue that “Jess’ maternal instincts” should’ve kicked in to protect Gwen” but fully ignoring that Jess HAS A FAMILY! Jess is PREGNANT with her OWN child. Her instincts DID kick in and she chose her dimension with her family in it!

Jess was stuck in a rock and a hard place. She obviously wanted to help Gwen (considering she brought her in at the cost of her own position) but UNFORTUNATELY, GWEN messed up. Gwen saw Miles and that ultimately led to Spot escaping. You can love these characters and acknowledge that every character had their OWN thoughts and motivations that led to fuck ups. It’s not right to try to make Jess sound worse than the man who fuckin replaced his dead self out of grief, was about to leave a teen at gunpoint, and had an entire society of people chase a teenager who wanted to save his dad.

Don’t get me started on the “she’s fighting crime while pregnant argument” because we can accept superpowered people but NOT the possibility that their bodies are more resilient. NOT TO MENTION THAT PETER B HAS A WHOLE BABY ON MISSIONS???? Like, no one is calling him a bad father so what’s different with Jess? Miguel was mean as fuck to Miles upon meeting but Jess doing her JOB is considered being “mean”.

Then the “I didn’t see her enough to connect with her” is fair until everyone can somehow create entire {TERRIBLE} mischaracterizations of Hobie, Pav, and Peni who (arguably) had just about the same amount of screentime. She also shares traits with every other spider person with being snarky and quick-witted while being completely grounded. She’s literally one of the spider people that Miguel fully trusts but somehow the fandom erases her and goes “He loves Peter B and Lego Spidey🤪🤪”

Like, it’s crazy how people find it so easy to erase Jess and Margo (Spiderbyte) in fanworks for things they easily dismiss from other characters and it’s feelin like misogynoir. Like, Margo and Hobie served the same purpose with deciding to go against Miguel for Miles, yet only Hobie and Gwen gets that credit.

AND THEN THE MANY EXCUSES WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING! People keep hating on Jess/Miguel because she’s “obviously pregnant and married” but go right around and ship Miguel with Peter B. Same with Margo/Miles because it’s a bunch of “Miles and Gwen are obviously endgame” ANDDDD???? Since when did every ship HAVE TO be canon in order to be a ship? It’s especially crazy because I BARELY EVER see those comments on Miles/(Peni, Pav, or Hobie) or have no problem with having all the boys huddled around Gwen. The double standard is glaringly obvious.

In conclusion, some of you mfs dont deserve ATSV.

fucks me up how menelaus is the one who escapes the curse and agamemnon is there to witness it.

like everyone in the house of atreus (atreus down, because this is when the curse gets like ... re...cursed) is defined by an act of violence to a family member/loved one that is caused by or committed by them (i say this because thyestes is a grey area. he rapes his daughter which leads to her suicide so that's .... that's enough tbh. he sucks for that)

except menelaus.

and i mean an event that is well documented. that is recorded and that defines their life. examples: atreus killing his nephews and feeding them to his brother, agamemnon killing his daughter, aegisthus killing his uncle and then his cousin and orestes killing his mother. these are DEFINING moments in these characters stories. their stories are incomplete without them.

i added this point cause people will say: menelaus started the war (which he did in a way. i dont dispute that) but that's not his moment. menelaus is often lost in the narrative of the trojan war. that's not HIS moment if you will. (besides the iliad is about achilles, menelaus' moment wouldn't be in that).

menelaus' moment comes AFTER troy. when he's encouraged to kill helen. THIS will be his defining moment of violence that secures his place in this family and drags him down with them.

and he doesn't do it.

and i don't think he ever intended to. menelaus is so DISTANCED from the curse by this choice/decision that he doesn't. even. die. he never actually dies. never mind has a nice life, lives to a ripe old age, dies calmly in his bed etc. etc. he just doesn't die - now that just ain't the cursed house of atreus way.

now. here's where aga comes in. i think aga knew iphigenia was his 'moment'. like he knew once he'd done that. he was no better than his father and uncle etc. (i think it's why he goes downhill over the course of the war and we get a lot in the iliad about him refusing to go home empty handed. he didn't kill his daughter and throw himself on the sacrificial altar of this curse for NOTHING and also why he goes to death so easily in the tragedies yknow? he just walks into the jaws of death. knowing its coming. fully accepting it. and. honestly? believing he deserves it) BUT the possibility that he sees menelaus throw his moment away and refuse it.

i cannot imagine the peace that must bring agamemnon. to have protected this brother through shit after shit. through exile. atreus. thyestes. aegithus. a war. and then to see him separate himself from it all. aga sees that menelaus is no longer bound by all this. menelaus is going to be safe. and perhaps that's another reason he goes to death so easily. he has nothing left. he cannot rebuilt what he had with clytemnestra. as far as he's concerned orestes is dead and so is iphigenia. (elektra is locked up at this point im sure? im sure cly and aeg keep her prinsoner so he probably doesnt even know where she is) and menelaus is safe. there's nothing really left for aga at this point.

and aga and menelaus part on bad terms? they part on bad terms and never see each other again and their lives take such different paths? the story of these two brothers is something that is so personal to me.

call me crazy but i REALLY enjoyed the ending of good omens s2! (spoilers below the cut)

OKAY crowley points this out when he tells gabriel to jump out the window, but aziraphale didnt actually witness heaven's direct cruelty to him, didnt experience first hand how willing they were to throw him away and kill him the second he disagreed with them. crowley, however, did. we dont know if they ever told each other exactly what happened, or if crowley ever told zira that gabriel had said "just shut your stupid mouth and die already." it clearly lasted with crowley, he remembers the exact words.

the choice neil made for aziraphale to not yet fully understand that "good guys" and "bad guys" arent accurate depictions of heaven and hell makes sense when you realize that he's never received the reality of being punished by them. crowley isn't naive though, he's been through this more than once, has witnessed the cult like mentality of heaven and hell and tried to help aziraphale escape. he's always tried to help zira come to his own conclusions, and usually, he at least comes to an understanding (poor people DO have less opportunities, and you're helping science!). you can feel his desperation when hes asking his angel to leave with him, both in season 1 and season 2. but that resignation in his eyes when he realizes that zira is still stuck in the cult of heaven, still cant really see in shades of grey- he knows that nothing he says or does will change zira's mind; the only thing that will change his mind is seeing first hand the cruelty and lack of compassion from heaven towards aziraphale himself.

there were so many amazing moments where they showed the lack of knowledge from heaven. the rule that they're not to visit earth, not to know too much (or anything, it seems) about humans. because someone in heaven knows that access to knowledge makes you smarter, makes you curious, makes you ask questions. whether or not thats the decision of god, or of metatron remains to be seen. but one person being in charge, who's clearly clueless but pretends to know what god wants, is classic cult leader shit. people who follow along without question, who assume that their will is good- that's what the angels are. its hard to truly hate them when you realize that they're all under the same thumb. that scene when uriel asks the metatron if they've done something wrong was kind of heart breaking, they're just children playing a game they were never told all the rules to.

what makes crowley so fascinating as a character is that he's curious, he asks questions. he's not good, he's not bad, he's just... himself. honestly, he's more human than demon in his choices. what he said about following hell as far as he can, so he can stay on his own side is just perfect- and yeah, lonely. and i cant even imagine how lonely he feels now. im obsessed with how we're shown his attempts at changing aziraphale's mind - something about him being the one to encourage aziraphale to try human food, something about him inviting aziraphale to Edinburgh to show him how poverty forces you to make morally questionable choices, that not everything is black and white - idk. it's subtle, it's allowing him to come to the same conclusion on his own, it makes me want to shovel aquarium gravel into my mouth

aziraphale, when he's away from heaven's influence, is much more morally grey, he's more himself, he's happier. but as soon as his superiors are around, he loses all sense of self. he automatically assumed he was going to fall for lying to the other angels and not killing innocent children. he knows better than to ask questions, he KNOWS that what he's asked to do is sometimes wrong, but he has this cognitive dissonance he cant get past- heaven asks him to do things that are bad, but heaven isnt bad. heaven is always good, so what theyre asking must not be bad. but, killing children is pretty objectively bad. he cant kill children. but its god's will, so he has to, it must be good. but its not. and round and round it goes. he's never actually been punished by heaven firsthand, and i think once he sees close up that heaven's will isn't necessarily god's will, and that god's will is not always benevolent, he'll realize. he'll realize that you cant always change things from the inside, that there's a systematic issue that can only be solved by dismantling the institution. god i hope season 3 is dismantling heaven.

all in all i love this ending i am SUCH a sucker for escaping cult stories (nimona and she-ra, nd stevenson i love u). like your whole life you are so sure that you're doing the right thing, and then someone comes along and turns everything upside down and asks you questions, forces you to ask questions, and you can't help but defend where you came from, surely there has to be some mistake, if you could just talk to someone higher up you're sure you could clear this whole misunderstanding up, and then that higher up tell you point blank that they know what theyre doing, they know that innocent people are getting hurt. you witness their violence firsthand, and its intentional, its directed towards YOU. because you dared to ask if what we're doing is really the right thing. and that's when you finally understand.

10 characters/10 fandoms/10 tags

the always amazing @aevallare tagged me <3 sooooo:

Astarion Ancunin (Baldur's Gate 3) - getting the obvious one out of the way early. you put a character in front of me who gets mad at you for being good and kind because no one has ever been that to him, who is a bitch and that's a feature not a bug, and im not supposed to become deeply obsessed with that? he is everything. to me.

Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb) - tamsyn muir WHEN will my wife come back from the war? Devotion even when you hate it. Being a weapon in more ways than even you are aware of. Love when you don't know what love is, really, getting it wrong and right at the same time. Gideon @ Harrow is just "its rotten work. especially to me especially if its you. i'll fucking do it but christ alive."

Murderbot (The Murderbot Diaries) - i think i am one of the only people who thinks that Murderbot is on the fem-presenting side of androgynous but i do think that and i'm right. I haven't read the latest book yet. Being forced to interrogate an in-between space, Murderbot's "dont look at me" in combination with vulnerability, the desire to cut and run and figure yourself out and then, like. not actually figuring yourself out much. did the running help? did escaping do anything? or should you have stayed?

Stede Bonnet (Our Flag Means Death) - Cringefail fuck-up pirate my beloved, i hate watching him do things it's like looking in a mirror. Theater kid playing dress up, steeped in self-doubt and trying to get everyone to talk about their feelings. In season one he looks at his own life and says "is anyone going to ruin this?" and doesn't wait for an answer. I want to kiss him in the moonlight. Every time I think about him I want to throw up. <3

Keyleth (Critical Role) - The weight of the world on her shoulders because she's been raised to lead her people, and all that simmering rage she tries to keep under wraps, and then she only gets a tiny bit of time with the person she loves before she has to live for years and years and years and watch everyone she cares about leave her. Archdruids with timeless body are an existential nightmare.

Alex Louis Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist) - okay listen. when i rewatched fmab in college, I was fully ready to fall in love with Riza. I was very surprised when I realized that it was not the badass with the gun I was fixated on, but the. big muscle-y guy who cries a lot and gets used for comic relief 60% of the time. but. im here. i love him. the ishval flashbacks got to me.

Blue (This is How You Lose the Time War) - Loving someone enough you're willing to let them close enough to kill you. The inherent rot beneath blooming things. Taking the slow path. Not leaving well enough alone. Love, but with teeth. I'm so normal about her (lying)

Cora Sabino (Noumena Series) - I wish I could tell everyone to read Axiom's End because I loved it, but I cant because the sequel fucked me up so bad. Its good! but god the atmosphere is so oppressive and Cora's struggle with depression is extremely real for an alternate history story that asks the question "what if we found out aliens were real during the bush administration?" I was legitimately unwell.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars) - I just think he's the funniest guy with a laser sword. so repressed. had one of the most grey-jedi masters to ever do the damn thing. bitchy. the chosen one is his padawan. honestly he had to know anakin was sneaking out to canoodle with padme and just decided it wasn't his problem. calls himself fucking ben on the hell sand planet. why was he like that.

Spock (Star Trek) - this is the most "i just think he's neat" of all of them. i inherited this blorbo. this blorbo was handed down to me from my mom. he was hers first, im just picking up the torch. "guy who acts like he has no emotions but every seven years enters a fuck or die frenzy" im sorry but that's. that's too good. i have no choice but to rotate him in my mind.

I cannot tag 10 people but i will tag @asterordinary and @werewolfnobody and if anyone else wants to do it go for it! tag me so i can read your response!

Rant/vent about DID under the read more

Im really worried, my alters keep splitting in two, I end up with a bunch of “copies” of our host, but these pieces keep breaking off with no clear reason as to why? Its been a year since I escaped my abuser, I rarely talk to anyone because people are just too much, so I wonder what it is thats bothering me enough that new alters would come around.

Every time I look it up people say “theyre probably just alters you never knew about” but that isnt the case- Its one alter splitting into a million tiny pieces. The only other answer Ive seen to this sort of problem isnt even an answer its just “Well that cant happen”. If it cant happen, and its happening to me, am I just fucking crazy or something?

They say alters only happen as a result of being actively traumatized, but Ive escaped that environment. I just keep splitting more, but sometimes theyre violent and out of control, so I wonder if their destructive behaviors have traumatized us? Because I truly believe you can traumatize yourself when hurting another. I also wonder if the trauma work Im doing in therapy is triggering us, because that really seems to be the case.

But since everyone says me splitting new alters is impossible, Im afraid to tell my therapist because Im so ashamed. This shouldn’t be happening to me, I shouldnt exist. Im in therapy, I shouldnt be getting worse.

Everything about DID treatment feels so experimental, and I wonder if my therapist would feel that she failed me because I just keep splitting off new parts while in treatment. I feel so guilty about it. I wonder if I’ll ever get better or if it’s impossible. I dont even fully trust her but shes the only person I could find who knows anything about DID. Which makes me nervous, because she barely knows anything about it! And shes all I have!

So, I definitely dont trust her. But she says we cant go any further with EMDR therapy till I trust her… What an impossible mission. She’s leagues better than other therapists Ive had, who would tell me Im basically a serial killer in the making for having alters, or that my alters arent alters and they are just psychotic symptoms or autism symptoms. At least with her she acknowledges that we exist as individuals, on some level. But Im afraid she probably doesnt know what shes doing…..

Then again, Ive heard with EMDR, sometimes it seems to get worse before it gets better. Perhaps my DID is just having a field day with how my trauma is triggered by the simplest of therapeutic exercises

Im also afraid that if this treatment does work, I wont be able to remember any traumatic memories. Ive never remembered them, I dont see how I ever will. Sometimes I think its better that way. But if I dont remember anything, then the treatment is failing, Im failing, and I’ve wasted our time

Open Letter to the boy who was never really mine. 18.07.2023

I miss you more than you could ever imagine.

All the small little moments with you, all little details.

How we watched Ice Age in my broken bed and laughed about it when it collapsed in the middle and brought us close together.

When you gifted me your red black shirt you wore on my birthday that I almost wore everyday because it smelled like your perfume.

How well you handled the situation with this jealous guy who got kicked out from the party because I only had eyes for you.

The small smile you gave me when I kissed your moles that you told me you were insecure about. I always thought that its cute and suits you.

How our fingers intertwined and my whole body got chills, mostly my heart.

How we danced arm in arm on my balcony and I wished I could freeze time because I didnt wanted to let go.

How you used to stare at me and told me how beautiful you think I am, inside and outside. With or without sex.

When we promised to visit Japan together, my home in heart since I was 14 y/o - I was exited to show you around, but mostly to be with you.

How cute you think my nose is and the all those nights we tried to watch Anime together but we couldnt keep our hands off each other, so I used to put horror movies on because I knew I couldnt concentrate when you were around.

The times we cooked together or the nights we used to text for hours having deep talks, sharing intimate thoughts.

I see you in every romantic movies, hear you in every love song and think about you even when I try to forget you while travelling through cities and having some sightseeings, wishing I could experience all that with you while holding your hand.

You always used to cheer me up, made me laugh, made me feel good, almost pretty in my skin. You are one of the reasons - If not the main reason - to become a better version of myself.

I trusted you and gave you the name of my diary, my emotions, interests and love languages - my private Tumblr - and even If I dont think that you check up on me (anymore?), I need it to get it off my chest.

I always had a thing for you, even when I had crushes on my ex boyfriends because you didnt fully had interest in me, and I guess you knew. I tried to move on so many times.

What a shame that I was never the woman you wanted to be with, while I wouldve gave everything to get the chance to make you happy, but I gaslit myself to not to get hurt.

I hate to break it to you and me, but I fell in love with you the moment I met you during break in school.

You were the last person I kissed and this wont change until .. Id love to say our lips meet again.. but, until I find someone who can make me feel like you did, by just existing.

I wish I was what you wanted, but I was not able to love myself, so I smoked weed everyday for 8 years to escape reality and got used to be sourrounded with bad influence and never REALLY tried to change because I never had a reason or the guts to. At least that was what I thought, but you shouldve been reason enough.

Im clean from all kind of drugs, almost a month now without addiction relocation. I was able to cut off the contact to all kind of bad people & influence to a lot of people who are no good for themselves and me. Chat and numbers are all deleted. - You will never know, but god.. I wish you would be proud of me, at least for trying to change my life and bad behaviour I used to have. I feel ashamed for taking so long to realise that.

And still while Im grieving that you are not in my life anymore, I wish you find someone who will treat you right and love you better, because I still think youre the most beautiful person I got to know. You deserve to be with the girl of your dreams and I hope you find her soon, because If there is a person out there that deserves to be loved, its you.

I wish you good luck, and kinda hope you will not remember me completely badly. I never meant to be like that, I hope you know that.

hey my name is Eileen. I have been in a constant cycle of stress eating and feeling like I'm not enough for almost 2 year now. seriously I want to change for the better, but it's just, I just feel stuck and don't know what to do. I have forgot the way on how I take care of my life. now, it's just feel like days passing by and I forgot how to live the present. I hope you can help me with any guidance. oh it's not a choice for me to go to a therapy :'( so yeah thank you so much for taking the time to read this ask. have a great day

hello! sorry to hear about your struggle but if you take a look at my rules you can see that i dont give out free readings like this. there is a giveaway from time to time and thats how i go about doing free readings :/ if you want you could wait till theres another giveaway and try your chance there, or at the very least we could just have a normal chat? my dms are open.

i know what you are going through and i think the biggest trap you should watch out for is the identification with your suffering. it is a rough thing to say but so many people claim that they want to be better and yet all their efforts end prematurely. its almost as if they have grown accustomed to feeling bad and are the thought that they could feel good lowkey offends them. i find that people like that often look for a solution but once they are given any they will rationalise to themselves that 'it wont work anyway. this thing that worked for this other person? i feel much worse than them, im much worse than them, it couldnt possibly work. i can try for a few days so at least i can say i did but nothing ever changes even when i try'. its hard to convince a person who identifies with their suffering that their suffering could end, even if the person giving the advice has gone through exactly the same thing.

im mentioning this because ive been in this situation for many years. it didnt feel possible to live a more satisfying life so ive only done the absolute minimum and stewed in the dissatisfaction . if you find yourself in this place you either stay in it forever or eventually the dissatisfaction will grow so strong that you will have no choice but to awaken. and i wont sugarcoat it, the first one is much much more likely if you take a look at the statistics. you need to be fully aware that you may end up like millions of other people who live in this perpetual state of illusion. im not saying it to be mean, but i dont agree with the usual false positivity of self betterment personas. the truth is if you dont take responsibility for your own life, no one ever will. and once you accept this it is actually freeing as fuck and actually feels Good.

theres no one cure for this state and i cant give you any specific advice, but i can tell you that this process of healing, in my opinion, is all about growing in Consciousness. you are suffering because you are living your life as if on auto mode, your mind is creating an illusory world for you, your ego actually enjoys the suffering because it is yet ANOTHER thing to identify with. im assuming a lot of things about you here now so excuse me if its incorrect but do you find yourself living in your own head more than you live in the real world? are the little fantasies, "manifestations" or whatever you might call it provide you with an escape from the harsh truth that your body is right here, and that you are experiencing the present moment constantly? is the present moment unbearable for you? or does it just seem unbearable. if you take a while to stay in it, even if you hate it, you will find that it is actually fine. it just is. its your mind that is creating the suffering. my advice is first to start with the understanding of the present and with the technique of letting go and then, when and if, you obtain more consciousness you might be able to hear the call of something divine within you. that isnt quite the mind. it might lead you to explore new topics, it might lead you to understanding how to actually create change in your life. but change that is in aligment with your higher thruth, and not change moticated by desperation and fear. change like that will never stick, because it will not be for you. you will just blindly be taking advice of random tumblr bloggers that you dont even know or trust (i can tell this is me and that you probably sent this copy pasted message to multiple people haha, domt worry i dont judge) or from self betterment gurus that just want your money.

i can recommend you The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins but remember that reading a book will never solve anything for you. i truly believe the wisdom of the first book is all anyone truly needs, but 99% of the readers will read it like a self betterment book, they will try it for a few days, claim it doesnt work (or maybe it does but they just go back to their usual bad habits anyway) and nothing changes in their life so they go about reading a 100 other books. if you want change you need to Cultivate presence in your life. it is Work, and it actually takes a lot of Effort. but the payoff is incredible. i can fully attest that the first book changed me as a person, even though im still struggling with the present moment at times, after half a year of learning.

well.. this is probably much longer and different than you expected but if anyone sees any benefit to this wall of text it will have been worth it haha

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

Hard Decisions

Prince!Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

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A/n : I just really wanted to write a prince!tom fic also i struggled so much trying to figure out a title and summary but im pretty happy with the actual fic Still dont like the tittle tho...

Summary : You take tom out for an escape from his life in royalty, at least that was the plan.

Warnings : Floof, kinda smutty but not really, mentions of violence, war, some cursing here and there

Word Count : 2.8k

...

"That wasn't fair in the slightest and you know it!" Tom shouted as he halted his horse, licking his lips with annoyance.

He was in the middle of his book that his master had assigned him when you burst into his chambers, breathing heavily like his dog after he took her out into the fields. You were dressed in your riding gear, throwing his own smack in his face, the only words falling from your mouth were.

“You, me, stables, now,”

It wasn't totally out of character for you to be so spontaneous, he was used to it by now, so were his guards and everyone in the castle. So much so that they weren’t fazed anymore when you zipped past them in the halls never knowing if you were running to or from something.

None of them were curious enough to ask.

Nevertheless, he was always free for a nice ride through the forests with you. He always enjoyed tagging along and partaking in your little shenanigans around the kingdom. It was a nice break from his responsibilities as prince.

"What isn't fair is that your horse had to deal with your terrible riding," you picked at your nails, smirking at the young prince, "Better than last time thought, only five minutes behind,"

Even if you always beat him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," He muttered, jumping off his horse, his boots landing with a thud on the floor, "What are we even doing here in the first place?"

"You'll see," you smiled leaning off the tree trunk, "I put Galaxy over there," you pointed towards the brown horse shaking its head, most of its body hidden behind the thick shrubbery, "I'm sure she wouldn't mind some company,"

"Don't know, I feel like he would feel inferior to yours," Tom said, pointing to his horse.

"Don't worry, that logic only applies to you when you’re with me," you chuckled. It was known that you loved teasing him, it shocked him to this day that he still put up with your shit for the past years, putting in so much effort to see you at least once a week.

But you were the only person who kept him up float for the past years. The only person who treated him as an equal despite his blood and title. And he would be a fool if he let that go anytime soon.

Of course you couldn't know that, he could imagine how much embarrassment that would fill his body if you knew about his attraction towards you. He could already picture you brushing his words off as a silly joke and continuing with your day.

He didn't think he could deal with the rejection, to deal with losing you over some feelings.

"So, where are we going?" he said, dusting off his vest, "Or did you just bring me out here to murder me?"

"Trust me if i wanted to murder you, I would've done it a long time ago," you grinned, holding out your hand, “Now come on! The sun won’t be up for too long,”

You dragged him  up though the bushes and trees, maneuvering your way through the forest. He’d never seen you this bubbly before, running and jumping over roots and ducking swiftly under branches all while occasionally  looking back at him with a wide smile that made his heart melt.

“Are we there yet?” he whined, yelping when a branch hit him smack in the face.

“Oh shit,” your hand shot up to your mouth, trying to hide the laughter threatening to erupt from your throat, “Are you alright?”

“Oh yeah, totally,” he said sarcastically, rubbing his nose, trying his best not to sneeze, “like one always is when they get smacked with leaves and wood,”

You bit your lip, moving the branch back up so you could see him clearly, “If it makes you feel better, we’re almost there,”

He sighed, his head falling before picking it back up to look into your eyes, “Alright,” he chuckled when you continued to tug him along.

After a few more seconds of walking, he noticed the sound of water falling in the near distance making him a quirk up a brow. Soon enough you both emerged from the dense forest into a small opening.

His eyes trailed up the small pond, the ripples of the water reflecting the random rays of light passing through the trees hovering ever it like its own roof  As he moved up, he eyed the flow of water running down a layering of rocks like a small fountain. Around it was a mass of shrubbery, green with hints of colour throughout. It felt like he was stepping into a painting his mother painted for him when he was younger.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes taking in every part of the scenery.

“I know, found it when I was sear- playing with Harrison’s sword,”

“You lost his sword?” Tom teased, catching your mess up.

“I found it back, calm your tits,” you uttered, mumbling under your breath, “after having some fun with it,”

“What was that?”

“It was a nice sword alright?”, you laughed, pulling your hand out of his. 

He watched with curious eyes as you approached the lake, stopping as you reached the edge. He felt the instant head rise to his face when your fingers grazed the bottom of your loose skirt, pulling it off your body in one go and throwing it to the side.

He coughed as he looked away when your boots came off next along with the rest of your undergarments leaving you in your underwear and bra. He tried his best to keep his eyes turned down out of respect, but he would be a liar if he wasn't fighting not to raise his head.

“Are you coming?” you said, dipping your toes into the water before fully submerging your both your feet, “Or are you just going to stand there,” 

“I-” Tom blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

You turned around to face him, hands crossing in front of your chest, staring at him expectedly, “Come on now, before your father figures out your gone,”

“I’m pretty sure he already knows-”

“Then you have no excuse!” you tilted your head to the side, jutting your bottom lip out, “I didn’t bring you out here to just stare at me as I bath,” you raised your eyebrow suggestively, “Unless that’s what you want to do?”

“I-,” he paused, looking back down at the ground in defeat (and to hide his blush at your words). He could never say no to you, “Fine,”

You jumped into the water in glee, shaking your hair purposely for the droplets to fall on his clothes.

He rolled his eyes playfully at your smug smile, unbuttoning his vest and throwing it on a patch of grass. He did the same with his shirt, turning around when he began to shuffle out of his pants. Tom wouldn't deny the fact that he knew his looks, years of fighting and working gave his body a defined shape.

He could feel your eyes burning into his back which gave him the boost of confidence he needed to turn around.

He carefully made his way into the water, hissing at its cold touch. You rolled your eyes at his slow movements, grabbing his legs and pulling him inside. You laughed as his body hit the water, splashing you and the land around the pool.

You giggled as Tom raised his head, shaking it back and forth, his brown locks creating a halo around his head. You pushed more water at his figure, laughing even harder at the look of betrayal on his face.

“You-,” he chuckled, moving his arms in the same manner, sending a wave of water in your direction.

“Oh, Is this war Holland?” 

“You bet your ass Y/l/n,”

You lunged at the brunette, pushing him under the water, your arms wrapping around his neck to keep him down. But it didn't last for long when he quickly broke the surface of the water once more. You wrapped your legs around his waist in a desperate attempt to keep him down, but it was useless given his strength.

When you looked back into his eyes, you finally took in how close you were, faces merely centimetres away from each other. You could feel his hot breath against yours, your wet skin melding with his. Your chest tightened, emotions you tried so hard to keep hidden resurfacing without thought. A glimmer of hope popping in your mind when he didn't pull away instead resting his hands on your waist, keeping you close.

You just didn’t think a prince would reciprocate the feelings for a commoner girl like you.

“Hey,” you whispered, readjusting your arms around his neck.

“Hey,” he whispered back, his eyes darting from your lips back to your eyes.

“i-,” your forehead fell against his, eyes closed as your heavy breaths fell upon his face, “Tommy,”

“Just say the word,” he gulped, “Just say the word, and none of this happened,”

He held his breath when you didn’t respond, his hands loosening from around your waist. He relished in the feeling of your body pressed against his not knowing when it might be the next time you would ever be like this with him after today.

He was a fool to think that you actually liked him in that way, that this wasn't just the spur of the moment but feelings aching to be unraveled at the seams.

“I want this to happen,” you finally muttered, opening your eyes to look directly at him, “I’m just scared what will happen after,” 

Tom let out a shaky breath, looking back and forth between your left and right eye, trying to process your words, “Only one way to find out right?” he managed to say, licking his lips.

You bit the middle of your bottom lip, letting it go with a heavy breath, “Yeah I guess so,”

“Are you sure?” He couldn't help but ask again.

“Just shut up and kiss me for God's sake,”

Tom finally smashed his lips on yours, tasting the fresh water on the surface before moving them along with yours. You tilted your head slightly, deepening the kiss. Even after imagining this moment for so long, losing himself in the thought almost everyday, it could’ve never prepared him for the feeling of your mouth on his.

His hands tightened around your waist, his feet moving slowly along the floor to press you against the nearest rock, wanting to be as close to you as possible, for this to last as long as possible. You fingers moved from his neck to his hair, tugging at the soaked strands making him groan into the kiss.

“Tommy,” you muttered, barely pulling away to utter the words before latching your lips back on his. 

“Yeah,” he smiled, biting your bottom lip as he pulled away fully.

“I-,” you started but was quickly interrupted by a loud bell that began to ring in your ears.

“Fuck, what’s that?” You breathed, whipping your head in the direction of the bell.

Tom replied hesitantly, “Someones attacking the castle,”

“What?” you said in disbelief, detangling your legs from around the prince’s waist, “Who would want to attack the castle?”

“I don’t know,” Tom said with a clenched jaw, despite his attempts to sound calm, the alarmed edge to his words failed to slow your rapid beating heart.

“You don’t know? You’re the prince!”

“Yes! As far as I’m aware we’ve been at peace with everyone for hundreds of years!” 

You took a moment to process his words. Your parents always used to tell you stories of the great war, always bragging that your great grandfather fought the battle that helped peace run through the lands.

The war that ended all wars.

Songs were sung everywhere, children learned about it all the time, hearing the tale of tragedy and loss every day of their loved ones. Hell, even you had the words memorised in your head so that you knew, the people knew that they were safe, that they were free.

The bell high in the castle was only meant to be rung when the crown was under attack. Thousands of questions began to run through your head.

Who would attack?

Why would they right before dawn?

How was anyone not aware of it earlier on?

None of it made sense.

“Come one, we got to go,” Tom gripped both your forearms, letting out a heavy breath. His voice was nothing but a distant sound in the back of your head, bouncing off the walls of your skull.

“I-,” you managed to squeak, your throat starting to close up as your breath became shorter, coming out in little, shaky huffs with deep inhales.

“Y/n, Y/n? Y/n!” tom said hastily, his hands making its way to your face, directing your eyes to his, “Look at me alright? You’re going to be fine. We are going to be fine alright?” his fingers wiped the wet hair sticking to the front of your face, “When we get back to our horses, yeah? I want you to ride far away okay. Do you remember our tree house, right? At the edge of the forest leading into the meadow? I want you to go there alright? Take galaxy with you and hide out there until i come for you,”

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut before looking back into his panicked ones, “Wait, What? Tommy, I’m not letting you go in there by yourself!”

“AND I’M NOT LETTING YOU DIE!” he shouted, trying his best to control his breathing, his distress, his confusion, “I’m not about to lead you into a battle that i know nothing off unarmed!”

“What about you?” you whispered, but loud enough for him to hear, “Do you think I’m okay with you running into battle?”

“I’m the prince, it’s-,” he sighed, “It’s my duty,”

You looked up into his brown eyes, staring into them to find some sort of comfort. You tried to find the joke, something, anything that might tell you that this wasn’t real, all just some sick prank to get you back at disrupting his activities.

But as his pupils dashed back and forth between yours, unable to focus. You knew that you couldn't talk your way out of this one. 

You also knew that you would be of no help in the kingdom in battle but ideas began to pop in your head of how you could help outside the walls

“Alright,” you gulped, “Alright,”

He gave you a quick kiss to the forehead before jumping out of the water. He tossed you his vest as you got out behind him so you could dry your body first. Shuffling around to gather the clothes that were thrown haphazardly in the ground.

Once both of you were fully dressed, Tom grabbed your hand as he led you back to your horse. You ran quickly, trying your best to not let the thoughts consume you but focus on what you needed to do, what you had to do.

Letting go of your hand as you both reached the clearing, he ran to his horse, untying his restraints. You did the same, petting her main in a calming matter, not only for the horse but for you too.

You both froze at the faint sound of a sword slashing some shrubbery followed by some muffled voices.

“Get on your horse,”

“Tom-,”

“Get on your horse now Y/n,”

You quickly mounted Galaxy, grabbing the reins tightly as Tom pulled out a sword from around his waist, keeping it close to his side. 

“When I tell you to go, you go okay?” he said wearily, his head darting in every direction.

“Tommy,” you said quietly, grabbing his face in the palms of your hand when her turned around to face you. You pressed your lips on his one last time, pulling away to rest your forehead against his, this time without the water surrounding you both.

“Stay safe, okay?” you whispered, rubbing your thumb against his cheek.

“I’ll try my best,” he smiled, taking your hand in his, “For you,”

“Over here!” a gruff voice sounded, “I see a horse!”

“Go, Y/n, Now,” Tom said quickly, moving back to his original stance.

With a split second of hesitation, you pulled at your reigns, kicking the horsed side, riding Galaxy away from the kingdom. You cringed at the distant sound of swords clashing and men screaming. What scared you the most was that you didn’t know who they came from.

But you couldn't focus on that right now, you had to find the tree house and from there, figure out what the fuck you were going to do, to help the kingdom.

To help him.

...

Permanent TagList : @jadegill @joyleenl @sarcastic-sunset-7

Tom Holland Taglist : @dummiesshort @seutarose @thenoddingbunny-blog​

2nd part than.

8: (This ones longgggg) Their rooms all have the same beige (like brown mushroom color) walls and floors. As their not allowed to change that. But Watson has some bookshelves in his room along with a old adventurer cape that goes in front of his body and hangs to his ankles (Item-Ya Adventurer Cape is a perfect example. Idk the actual name for the kind of cape it is), some display cases featuring his strongest bows and arrows, along with a sword and axe, along with pictures of the group toghere and pictures from his travels on the walls, he has a single lone desk that is only used when designing new bows or arrows. Ran also has bookshelves, but his is bigger and takes up a whole wall, he also as a winter cape with fur on its shoulders hung up (he lived in a snow biome for a little while and made the cape himself), along with a single weapon case that features a lone damaged neitherite sword, he also has chests stacked along a wall filled with random stuff that he sometimes gives as gifts or uses to throw at people. Jackie has a few paintings and posters in his room, along with the only carpet in any bedroom (that he totally didnt steal from Grievous), a panting easel, he has a single display case in his room that displays the sword Porkius gave him for winning, theres also pictures of the group toghere and a small chest next to his bed filled with things that belongs to someone in the group. Grievous has a small bookshelf (one book is a naming book Watson jokingly gave him), a chest filled to the brim with blankets and pillows (cause for him comfort is a necessity), he also has a desk that he tends to fall asleep at when doing literally anything on it. Everyone also has a good sized wardrobe somewhere in their room that is filled with different outfits and w statue stands with either iron armour or empty. There is also a four-way-bunkbed in the living room/area, they typically use it when someone is having or had a very bad day and needs comfort, or when Jackie's separation anxiety is bad and needs to sleep with everyone nearby. 

Ran loves reading and sometimes gets mad when someone intrupts his reading. Watson loves designing new bows and arrows and just designing weapons in general (Grievous does too and helps him sometimes). Jackie likes to paint and has a interest in adventuring one day. They are well known but only in Subbin and surrounding cities. Though word does travel about them at times which can bring people to Subbin. They have 2 titles actually! First is used in typical matches, while the second is used in more formal or serious matches (like those for general). Ran: The Enderman, Partikel Tari (Dancing Particles, referencing how when he fights when serious its like he's dancing as he teleports around the field). Watson: The Archer, Multi (Referencing how he has more experience than anyone in the use of all kinds of weapons and can quickly adjust to situations). Grievous: Multi-Named, Unpredictable (referring to how he is by far the most unpredictable person in serious battles). Jackie: The Child, Diremehake (Underestimated, referring to how he gets underestimated a lot during any battle). They get recognized quite often and get called their stage names, when they dont want to deal with people recognizing them they often either yell at them to go away or just run away. 

9: They do all of the above! It depends on the match up (Jackie and Watson stay out of eachothers way mostly, Ran and Grievous make it one on one, and Ran and Jackie take them out quick). Oh the first time Ran threw Jackie was hailours. You could hear Watson screaming from the stands in fear and Jackie just head-butted the guy in the stomach. Then when Jackie recovered he just yelled for Ran to throw him again, and once again you could hear Watson screaming no and threats at them from the stands. Ran agreed and threw Jackie at the last person, who he just bear hugged as he hit and held them down. Then after the battle Watson smacked the two and chastised them.

10: At first he drops stuff and trips over his feet on a regular basis. But after about 3 weeks he fully regains his balance, and is able to finally walk without tripping at the start. While the attempts at bonding do work to get Ranbob and Cletus closer the two never get as close as the rest. Neither can really name what's stopping them from getting closer though. For the first week people need to constantly remind Ranbob to do all of those things. As he thinks the constant hunger, thirst, and tiredness is all normal when its not and their trying to get him to understand that. And while he eventually starts to do it himself, theres still some nights where he doesnt eat or drink or sleep. They just leave the two in the house, but later they do start to expand the house a bit to fit the new addition. He does not get his own place up, he just gives up after some time. He doesn't fall asleep out there to often thankfully, but since the house keeps falling on him he does get cuts and bruises quite often. He gets stuck in a rain storm only 2 times which isn't bad, but he does get semi-bad burns from them sadly that Benjamin has to sit him down for and have Charles distract him for long enough to wrap his wounds properly. And it only took Benjamin like 4 weeks before he finally got fed up and forced him inside and had him stay with them. He has dealt with a storm before when he was young! But it was when he was about 12 so its been a long while. 

11: He spends all of his free time glaring at them. And for the first few days whenever he sees someone from his group hanging around his brothers, he'll go over and pick em up and just carry them away. The fishermen worry for a bit that Ran may hurt them, but Watson assured them that Ran knows the two groups like eachother and wouldn't hurt them incase that could hurt his families feelings. 

12: Ranbob is extremely happy about potentially getting new members of his family! And eagerly tries to talk with them. But Ran is far less happy and actively avoids them (and drags his family away at times).

13: At the start they have no idea where their going. But when Grievous brings up about Rans damaged sword they decide to find a nether portal so they can find whats needed to repair his sword! And Watson decides on the way he can show them all the different biomes in the world, which Jackie is extremely excited for. 

14: If the fishermen get separated from Ranbob for too long he actively goes and searches for them. And refuses to stop until he finds them. When upset Ran loves to pick up members of his Haunting, though he doesnt do them often as he knows his Haunting doesn't like it when he does it to often. He and Ranbob also pick up blocks though as it's a comfort action and soothes them. Cuddles piles do happen! They happen more for Ranbob to comfort him after a nightmare or just a bad day, or when he basically relapses and wants to go back to Dream. But cuddle piles are more rare in Rans group, as cuddle piles only happen when anyone is doing really badly mentally or physically and just need comfort, or when they all just need some comfort. But their much more sentimental and have more meaning than Ranbobs groups. 

15: Oh definitely. I forget if I included it when I first introduced my Au. But soon after Ran escaped Mizu, he was hunted for his pearl and respawn ability. Though he killed the people hunting him. Every year he was out of Mizu and every year before he entered Subbin he was hunted by multiple groups. He's become legend just for avoiding so many groups and killing a vast majority of them. He's known as the "Green Eyed Enderman." and is a top goal amongst hunters. There are some times Ran got jumped in Subbin for being a hybrid but he quickly defeated them. 

Karl has played his role in this! Though maybe I could make it so he comes in later on during a really difficult part between the  brothers, and helps out. Using his own experiences in the SMP and seeing what ruined relationships like brothers does to someone and others, to make sure their relationship doesn't stay so broken and hurt so many people. Maybe at the end I'll have them go back and face Dream so Ranbob (and even Ran slightly, with how Dreams presence affected him) can finally be completely free. As of rn no one has a pet. But that question made me really want to give someone a raven and idk who. I want to have bits of the other Tales in it! Im not quite sure how yet but I want this to be a mostly Tales ONLY au (no main SMP stuff unless needed or necessary) as the Tales don't have enough love. He does write down the experience he had with the Dream Experience and writes down very important things, but other than that he leaves it behind. 

Im really happy to hear that you like my au. I love world and story building a lot and can't control how much I write sometimes, again im sorry this is so long and I'll do my best to not make anything this long ever again. Sorry if this bothered you

8: Sounds pretty interesting, overall. Was Watson-as his cape suggest-perhaps an adventurer? And he designs his own bows and arrows? Very cool. What kind of things does he come up with?  Ran also sounds like he’s traveled a bit. He knows how to sew? Has he ever made anything for anyone else? Where did he get his sword? Jackie’s got a carpet? Very nice, he deserves it. And a painting easel? How good is he at painting? Or is it more of something he’s just trying? Grievous sounds like he could build a very good pillow fort, and honestly, good for him. How often do they camp out in the bunk bed room? 

Ran not liking being interrupted is understandable. Does he ever read to anyone, or is it more some alone time for him? Grievous and Watson must design some terrifying weapons. Where is Jackie looking at adventuring to? Anywhere specific, or just around? And what language(s) is Ran and Jackie’s secondary titles in? Latin? 

9: Very smart of them, means it’ll be harder to pick up a pattern. And hearing about Ran tossing Jackie-I’m laughing. I’m not going to lie, kind of assumed it was planned pre-match, but hearing that they just decided to throw him? Watson’s reaction? Just...hilarious. Was Jackie even prepared for it, or did Ran just toss them without warning? Honestly, it kind of sounds like people might come to the Pit for the comedy just as much for the fighting. If this was the kind of thing that went down, I’d probably come to watch.

10: Oh no, Ranbob! At least he’s getting better. So Cletus and Ranbob never quite click, huh? Well, that’s alright. Sometimes people just don’t. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other! Ranbob thinking it’s normal, oh god. Does he ever say something along those lines, or get confused why the others are so worried about it? If so, how do the fishermen react to that question, and how does Ranbob react to the answer. As for the house, well. He can say he tried if nothing else-and hey, funny story to share with the gladiators later on. It’s good that he wasn’t caught in too many storms, less that he was caught in some at all. I’m sure that was a big help in convincing Benjamin to finally just put his foot down, which, honestly good for him. You go, Benjamin!

11: Ran, bud, chill. I like how you said his free time though-my first thought was that he immediately finished a book and went over to glare at them. Probably not true, but a hilarious mental image. Very glad Watson has reassured the fishermen-how did Ranbob react to that worry of theirs?

12: Ran’s actions are pretty understandable, but still a bit sad. How does Ranbob feel about them? Is he resigned? Determined? Upset?

13: Adventure! Into possibly dangerous places! How fun! Can’t wait to see where it goes. What do they see? What’s the first stop? How long are they heading off?

14: He won’t stop? Like, potentially will work himself into the ground won’t stop? Ran just picks up his members like blocks. And, oh boy. Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream? That’s just. Oof. Very much oof. How do the fishermen deal with that, and how do they feel about it?

15: Ran sounds like he’s had a less than enjoyable time out there. Do these hunters ever go after them once they leave Subbin? Do they target Ranbob? I mean, he’s another Endermen hybrid, and one who definitely isn’t as skilled as Ran, or as used to them. He’d be a much easier target.

So Karl’s gonna come in towards the end. Nice. Ran was also affected by Dream? How so? Obviously less than his brother, but did he ever notice? Did Ranbob? Sounds like it’d be a good final showdown, over all.

As for that pet raven, may I offer some suggestions? You could give one to Jackie and Grievous, so it can help them cause havoc, or maybe one to Benjamin, so it can help him keep an eye on his dorks. Maybe even Cletus, to help snag things, and mess with people, or Isaac, maybe to help find things. Even Watson, or one of the brothers, to help keep watch over their groups. Really, you could give any of these guys a raven. Depending on said bird’s personality, it could fit anywhere. Just depends on what you want to do with it.

I completely agree with you, we need more Tales AUs. Ranbob and Ran did come from what was basically a city of historians, perhaps you could use that to tie in the other Tales? Or even have them across the old ruins of areas on their adventure. Even chunk in more time travel, via Karl or otherwise, if you want to toss in more characters.

Ranbob pretty much starts over then. Good for him. How does Ran feel about that? Actually, who was Ran’s idol, and his general life on Mizu, before the Dream incident?

Other questions:

One thing I’d like to know is how the groups react to each other’s experiences and general life styles. Like for one, Ranbob and the fishermen generally seem more physically affectionate with each other, while Ran and the gladiators seem fairly less so, but no less close. 

For another, the fishermen probably still remind Ranbob to eat or sleep, which would probably seem a bit confusing for the gladiators. How much do they know about both sides? Obviously enough for them to want to help get the brothers back together, but like.

How much do the gladiators believe Ranbob’s side. Are they wary, or skeptical, or do they believe it completely, and if so, why? 

How long was Ran left running, evading hunters, and how has that affected him? How many times do both brothers say something concerning, and how do they react to what the other says?

You’ve said Ranbob occasionally relapses and wants to return to Dream. Does this happen on the trip? And if so, how do the gladiators react to such a thing-depending on how much they know about the whole thing, I can imagine mixed reactions. How does Ran react?

How do both groups react to the new endermen hybrids? They seem to have dealt with different instincts before now, so seeing Ranbob trail the fishermen and Ran just pick up the gladiators must be a bit strange. 

What can Ranbob keep down? Not only was Dream in control, and not particularly careful with his body, but supplies were probably also somewhat limited when he did eat. So how has that affected him? 

Are there any nicknames within in the groups? How do the gladiators react to the schedule change, considering they had set times for so much before? How do the fishermen react to the new areas? What habits are/become shared, and what habits are restricted to one group.

In general, just...how the fishermen and the gladiators differ in lifestyles, basically. 

For another, in one of the earlier post, you mentioned both Isaac and Cletus wanted to return to Mizu. Isaac kind of gives me a historian vibe himself, or some sort of archaeologists. Just a kind of person who wants to learn about history-perhaps something to do with the fact that he was played by Karl, and the whole time traveler thing. 

But anyway, what exactly did those two want to do down there? Explore, learn, steal?

And how would you say everyone’s personalities are like? Will you be introducing anymore characters, Tales or otherwise. It’d be interesting to see a Pit version of Tommy, or Puffy, or such.

How does Ran react when he finally accepts the truth, and what exactly pushes him to that? 

Hope this isn’t too many questions. I’m pretty invested, not gonna lie.

And seriously, I don’t mind the length. Long or short, I’m really just happy to hear more about your AU, and I look forward to more.

Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

The Winter Ghost - Part 5

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn't and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/n

Warning: language, PTSD, anxiety, violence, fluff.

W/c: 3.5K ish

A/n : oooh getting serious. Im having so much fun writing this you guys! Shout out to @cutie1365​ for all her support! Go read her fic A Kid From Queens, but dont say I didnt warn you. Its addicting! 

Everything happened really fast after that day in the common room with Wanda. Shuri worked tirelessly in the lab trying to develop a softer approach to bringing back your memories. She believed if she could restore them fully, we would have the last piece of the puzzle.

Becoming the perfect war machine seemed like the most obvious use for the serum, but Steve reminded you Hydra always had something up their sleeve.

You really enjoyed living in Wakanda. Most days were spent in the gym training. Trying to harness the team's abilities was not so enjoyable. You worked with Wanda most. It helped that you were only 4 years older than her. She was younger than most of the team and had a dark past that seemed to mirror yours.

Most of your nights consisted of you, Wanda and Nat settling into the couch and cheesy eighties movies on the plasma TV. Bucky would often come out of his room and sit with you.

You really enjoyed Bucky's energy. Something about him just drew you to him. Maybe it was his smile, or the way he smelled like mint and nicotine, or that he read the newspaper and drank black coffee in the mornings. You weren't sure. One thing was for certain, the more time you spent together, the harder it became to leave him. Bucky would tell you about his past and how he used to have to bail little 'Stevie' out of bar fights and ally brawls every other day. He made you laugh like no one really did. When he told you about his time with Hydra and how they would control his mind you would rake your fingers through his hair and whisper to him he wasn't alone anymore.

As the days melted into weeks, the horrific nightmares began to grow legs. It was one of the many side effects from Shuri’s digging. Some days it felt like Hydra knew you would try to remember and this was their fail-safe. Every time you began to drift off you'd see Tommys pale face, blood oozing from the corner of his mouth. You swear, right before he stumbled off the edge of the bridge you saw him say something. You could never remember when you woke, nor could you recall any other detail other than Tommy. It felt wrong. You felt wrong. Like he wasn't yours to grieve.

One particular bad night, you remember waking up screaming. Your whole body felt like it was on fire as your tears seared down your cheeks. The only thing that grounded you after that was the small knock that echoed from the other side of your door.

“Hey, doll. Let me in?” His voice was soft and smooth and the only thing that seemed to bring you back to the dimly lit bedroom. You stared at the ceiling for a solid minute before slowly rising and crossing the room. Gently, you opened the door just a crack and looked up. There stood a sleepy-eyed Bucky. He sported a baggy pair of grey sweats and an old beat up tank, his arms on full display. In normal circumstances, you believed that that was enough to knock you out of any state. You wondered if Bucky knew the effect he had on people. Or worse, if he knew the effect he had on you.

“Can't sleep, keep me company?” He spoke, huskily. You could tell he had just woken up. Sleep still clouded his eyes, and the yawn he tried to stifle gave him away. You appreciate what he was trying to do, so instead of calling the man out, you opened the door, and welcomed the Super Soldier in.

You talked for hours that night. He didn't ask about your nightmare, which you appreciated. You had recited the images to Shuri about thirty times in the past week. It was the only memory that seemed to come back. It replayed over and over on a continuous loop through your mind. This moment with Bucky was a welcomed break.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” You finally spoke. Bucky and you had found your way onto your bed at some point. His right arm draped around your shoulder, as you leaned on his chest. He cracked his neck to look down at you.

“Of course.” He offered, shifting onto his side so he could really look at you.

“Does it ever stop? I’m so exhausted, all I want to do is sleep but I- I'm so scared. I don’t want to see it again… What if it never-” Your voice broke off, shutting your eyes tight to stop a tear from escaping.

“Hey, hey. You're not alone anymore. Remember? I went through it and came out the other side. And look how well adjusted I am.” Bucky smirked, sarcasm laced his last remark. You couldn't help but smile at that. You didn't know if anyone but you and Steve really knew how funny he was. Maybe he liked it that way. Maybe he was only that way with you? You knew it had been awhile since Bucky had really been this way around others. It warmed your heart how quickly the two of you got along.

“Listen to me, doll.” He started, seriously, lowering his stare to meet yours.

“I’ll be here. Whenever you need me. I know what it's like, to feel out of control. To feel like a prisoner in your own body. To answer your question, yeah I think it gets better. I mean,” He paused then, looking you up and down in a way that made you blush. He started again, words laced with that old Brooklyn charm the ladies used to love. Granted, that worked back in 1940 - something and he had been out of the game for quite a while.

“I’m in bed with a smart, complicated, frankly beautiful dame. I’d say it gets better, wouldn't you?” He gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. His touch sent shivers down your spine. Bucky's stormy eyes bore into yours making your breath hitch in your throat. There was a moment, so brief that when you recanted the memory you weren't sure it really happened. But you thought maybe for just a second he wanted to-  

“Up and at it, Y/n! Training starts at 0700!” Caps voice droned through your bedroom door suddenly, knocking you out of your thoughts and back to the bed you resided on. Your hand reached out for Bucky, who since that night spent most beside you. He would stay with you until you fell asleep and more often than not, when you woke, he’d be beside you, fast asleep. His side of the bed was cold, however. He had been up for a while.

You looked at your phone on the nightstand. 6:15 am it read. You groaned, rubbing your hands over your face and slinking out of bed. Pain screamed from your muscles as you opened the bathroom door. Carefully, you started the shower, steam quickly filled the room and calmed your aching bones. You stepped in and autobly signed.

Fifteen minutes later you met the rest of the team in the kitchen. You couldn't help but notice Bucky wasn't in attendance. Everyone looked like they had been awake for hours while your wet hair was pulled up in a messy knot on top of your head. Nat was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she noticed you come in. She smirked, instantly grabbing another mug and gesturing to the pot in her hands. You nodded quickly. ‘Coffee fixed most everything’. That's what Your Dad used to tell you before he left for work and you lived by that.

“Look who's finally up…” Cap announced. You had no idea how he was so chipper in the mornings. Even the sound of his booming voice made you cringe. The man must have coffee running through his veins. Maybe that should be Hydra’s next serum idea…

“I have risen. Just for you, Rogers.” You muttered sarcastically, taking the mug of coffee from Nat. You smiled and mouthed thank you, taking a big swig. Ugh, you grimaced, swallowing the brown substance much to your dismay. You didn't know what this brown water was but it definitely wasn't coffee.

Wanda laughed at your disgusted face, "It's decaf, Y/n '' she rolled her eyes, "Cap thinks decaf is better for the team. That coffee will mess with our 'performance' or whatever." She shrugged. What's even the point? You thought.

“Excuse me young lady.” Cap began, scolding Wanda like she was his teenager. Wanda smirked, turning towards his voice.

“Young lady?” Nat mocked her friend, nudging him out of the way as she reached for the piece of toast she had put in the toaster. She took a bite and over chews laughed, “You're really aging yourself, Cap.” She finished, hoisting herself up onto the kitchen island beside you.

You really liked Natasha. You thought she must have been the most beautiful person you'd ever met. Her red hair always curled around her soft features perfectly. You honestly didn't know how a human could look that perfect and be so deadly. Over the past few weeks, Nat had taught you a lot. You mostly trained with Captain Rogers and Wanda, but occasionally Nat would step in. She was small in stature, but she helped you learn how to use that to your advantage.

“What’cha say we go get some real coffee, babe?” Nat nudged you with a small smile. You looked up at her with a wide eye gaze. She truly was a hero.

“God, yes please.” You beamed as she jumped off the island.

“If you're skipping out on training then count me in! I” Wanda chimed.  Rogers looked frustrated as the three of you started towards the door.

“Nat, you heard what Shuri said. Y/n cannot leave the premises until we know what she's fully capable of. She’s dangerous.” Cap stated firmly, but unmoved from the kitchen. You looked at the floor uncomfortably. He was right. You were a ticking time bomb. You all knew it. Shuri explained with the presence of the nightmares it was only a matter of time before something snapped. And no one really knew how that would look when it happened. For the most part, everyone treated you like a normal person. An honorary member of the team. But Rogers often reminded you that you were anything but. Just an experiment and a means to an end.

"Comeon' y/n. I know a place we can get some real coffee."  Nat spoke, louder than Cap. Venom seeped from her words as she glared at the Captain. She shook her head disapprovingly. Wanda took your hand, pulling you gently out of the kitchen. When you touched you felt your skin sizzle, absorbing the power that surged through her body. You made a conscious effort to steady your breathing and push her power to the back of your mind. As you left you heard Natasha’s booming voice coming from behind you but decided to ignore it, as the two of you headed for the garage.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Steve?” Nat snapped at him. Steve opened his mouth and closed it trying to find the right words. “She’s a person, you ass! You can't keep treating her like some unhinged science experiment. She’s just a person. Just like me. Just like Bucky.”

“She’s nothing like Bucky!” He thundered. Nat took a step back, snaking her head disapprovingly. “I can’t keep thinking, what if we had it wrong. I mean, she can’t remember anything. What if her memories come back and she's not really on our side. I don't think we thought this through, Nat.” He huffed, running his hands over his face in frustration.

“I trust her, Steve. Bucky trusts her.” She started, taking a few steps closer to him. He shook his head in annoyance and scoffed.

“Bucky thinks the girl’s a doll. He’s totally smitten, that doesn't count. I think the guy would trust anything she said at this point-”

“Do you trust me?” Nat snapped, a brow arched, hands on her hips. Stever huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You know I do, but-” He began.

“Then it's settled. You gotta’ let the girl out. She's been locked up here for weeks. I promise, I’ll keep her safe. Besides, I’m getting pretty tired of her stealing my clothes. Coffee, and shopping and then we’ll be back, yeah?” Nat offered, voice dripping with sweetness. She knew she had won this battle. She always did.

“Two hours, Romanoff. That's all you get.” Steve grumbled. Nat smirked, rolling her eyes and spinning on her heel to meet you and Wanda in the garage.

“See ya later, Grandpa. Don't wait up.” She offered over her shoulder. Steve only shook his head and chuckled, hoping desperately he hadn't made a huge mistake.

Nat strutted victoriously out of the kitchen, and almost ran right into Bucky's large frame. She stumbled back, regaining her balance quickly. Bucky raised one brow curiously.

“Where ya’ going in such a hurry?” He asked, watching her carefully.

“I’m taking your girl out for a much needed shopping trip. Anything particular you'd like to see her in?” She quipped, sarcastically, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Bucky choked on a cough, clearing his throat and trying to turn it into a laugh. He failed, of course.

“I- ah, I don't know what- uh, what?” He finally got out. Nat smirkled, and patted him on his stiff chest. It was literally too easy. The man was such a ball of stress. Nat thought it was honestly cute. She’s never seen Bucky like this before. Nervous and blushing. She thought you were really good for him. Maybe you’ll finally take that stick out of his ass. She thought with a smirk.

“Have a nice day, Sergeant.” She cooed, pushing past his rigid body leaving Bucky in shock.

“You ready, babies?” Nat grinned, putting the key in the Jeep’s ignition. You sat in the back seat while Wanda sat in the passenger, both nodding vigorously.

“For the love of coffee!” You shouted, pointing forward. Both women laughed and with that you took off.

……………………...

You practically skipped through the Wakanda market. Beautiful earthy colours melted into the scenery practically taking your breath away. Wanda and Nat had stopped at a small coffee shop, but you wandered around, looking at the beautiful handmade clothing. The smoky smell of something cooking from a nearby street grill filled your senses. It was complex, sweet and spicy and sour all at once. It made your mouth water. Foreign and delicious. You followed the smell to a small hutch where people gathered around, eating and laughing.

“Beautiful isn't it? How food brings us all together.” A man spoke beside you. You recognized him as T’Challa, Shuri’s older brother and also the man who is letting you and your new friends stay in Wakanda. You had only really met him in passing, but never really spoke. Bucky always describes him as a kind, gracious friend. You smiled up at him.

“It is… Really beautiful.” You repeated.

“How are you liking Wakanda, Y/n?” He asked. His voice was deep and rich. Almost melodic. Just by speaking he had commanded the attention of the people around you. The new eyes on the two of you made you feel uneasy and small, but you took a deep breath and relaxed yourself.

“It's so gorgeous here. Thank you for having me, T’Challa.” You spoke his name and it made him smile. You froze unsure if that was the right thinking to call him. He was the King, sort of, but Bucky had always referred to him by his given name.

“Breath, my friend. You have nothing to fear here. You are with good people. Your friend Bucky speaks very highly of you. And any friend of the Sergeants is a friend of mine.” He voiced, placing a warm hand on your shoulder as you relaxed. From behind him you could see Nat and Wanda walking towards you. Wanda waved chaotically making you smile.

An old beat-up SUV made a loud popping noise as it pulled up somewhere behind you. The noise made you shudder. The familiar sound of gunshots rang through your ears as you grabbed your head, trying to make the noise stop. You looked to T’Challa who seemed only concerned, reaching out a hand to steady you.

“Is everything okay, Y/n?” He spoke, trying to gage what was wrong by your actions. The loud deady blows echoed through your head, unrelenting as a scream erupted through the crowd. You weren't sure if you had made the noise of if it was someone else. Everything seemed to fade away and your vision became blurry.

“Y/n, Y/n! Can you hear me?!” You heard a woman yell over the crowd. You tried to focus on her voice, but it was too late. Everything suddenly went black and you felt your body go numb.

You woke up in the dark cement room that plagued your nightmares. A man's eerie voice echoed off the walls.

“Еще раз!” Again! He shouted. Usually when you relieved these memories you didn't know what the man was saying.  But for some reason, this time your brain was translating for you. You didn’t question it as you looked around the room. You felt your body scream as an excruciating electric shock ripped through you. Tears burned down your face as you begged incoherently for it to stop. As fast as it came on, the shock stopped, and you could breathe again.

“Ты сама во всем виновата, дитя мое.” You brought this on yourself, my child. The man cooed, wiping a bead of sweat that ran down your forehead. You winced at his touch, the feeling of him on you making you nauseous.

“Если бы ты только сделал то, о чем тебя просили. Если бы вы только слушали. Может быть, все было бы по-другому, хотя я сомневаюсь в этом.” If only you had done what you were asked. If only you have listened. Maybe things would be different, though, I doubt it. He spat, chuckling as he motioned for the other outside of view to start again.

“Please, don’t do this, Zemo. Обещаю. Возьми мою память. Заставь меня забыть, только не делай этого.” I promise. Take my memory. Make me forget, just don't do this. You begged. You tried to move your arms but they were secured down. The man only laughed at your feeble attempt, building a rage inside of you.

“Oh, don't you worry, мой ребенок. All in due time. When I’m done with you, you won't remember your own name.” He grinned a crooked smile as the machine you laid in whirled on again, sending a volt of electricity through your body. You clenched your teeth and stifled another scream.

Your eyes burst open, scolded by the sun and the tears that now streamed down your face. Gasping for air you tried to sit up, but your body shrieked with pain. On your left Nat sat beside you, Wanda was on your right holding a phone to her ear yelling something you couldn't quite make out.  Your breath slowly began to return and the sunspots in your vision cleared. You looked around, the market was now almost empty but the small street grill was now billowing with smoke and flame. Nat helped you up, body still aching. You looked around, horrified by the mess that was once the lively market.

“Are you okay, Y/n” Nat started, her hands on either side of your arms. You blinked at her, terrified.

“What happened?” You asked, horrified to actually know the answer. She gave you a nervous look and tucked a loose hair behind her ear.

“It wasn't your fault, Y/n. No one was hurt, everyone got out. It’s going to be okay.”

“It most certainly is not going to be okay!” Captain Rogers' voice boomed from behind the three of you. Wanda spun around startled, while you just hung your head low. Whatever lashing he was going to give you, you deserved. It couldn't be any worse than what Zemo had done…  You paused, eyes a gape.

“Oh my God.” You gasped, alerting the others. Steve looked at her angrily, impatient for your next words.

“I remember something… I think- I think I remember who did this to me.” You choked out, eyes glassy as you remembered for the first time the man who made you a monster.

................................

A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope all have a great weekend! As always, feel free to leave me feedback! My inbox is always open!

@projectcampbell​

oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

butterflies • mike hanlon

(mike hanlon x reader)

requested:  Can you write something for Mike? Whenever you have time of course😊 I don’t mind if it’s smut or fluff, imagine or head cannons. I just really need more Mike in my life💗 thank you -🃏 p.s ilysm

warning: swearing, brief mentions of sex thx richie (and stan and bill), just fluffy stuff, underage drinking, unedited

[losers + reader are 18 in this.]

i wrote this rly quickly bc i just had an idea and im in love w mike, i hope u guys enjoy! i also made this gender neutral 

♡

1.8k words

"what're you staring at, toots?" a cheeky voice pulls you out of your daydream.

you look to your left and stare at richie, cheeks heating up. "what are you talking about?" you ask, feeling flustered. your friend chuckles, the lenses of his glasses glinting in the midday sun.

 it's hot today - you, eddie, and richie had just crawled from the quarry to rest on blankets, your skin warm and hair dripping onto your bodies as you watch the others swim.

in the distance, a bout of laughter grabs your attention and you focus on your friends. mike's got bev in his arms as he tosses her through the water, flying and both of them laughing. you smile, watching mike's back muscles move, his blinding smile as he wipes water from his eyes. 

bill socks him on the shoulder lightly in jest and mike turns his head with a laugh. and then mike's warm eyes are locking with yours from far away and your stomach flutters. he waves, and you softly wave back. 

"uh, that."

you look back with a frown to eddie, who's staring at you with a straight look. richie's got the same one on his own angular face and you scowl at them, crossing your arms. "i don't know what you're on about. you guys are assholes, anyways." you mutter the second part, toe nudging the sand at the edge of your towel.

"it's okay, y/n.

your eyebrows lift and you sigh, surprised by the moment of sincerity from the boy who's always joking.

"then you can finally fuck him all you want."

"wait, now. y/n fucking who?" stan asks, walking up with a grin and flanked by ben and bev on either side. they all fall to the ground and shake their hair out with towels or grab their phone.

"obviously mike. who else?" eddie adds, tossing you a smirk. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. a quick glance proves that bill and mike are still in the water, making their way over slowly but in deep conversation. at least they're out of earshot.

"yeah, she's been hung up on him since the seventh grade. we're eighteen now, doll. it's time."  richie says this with a half-full mouth of beer, prompting you, ben, bev, stan, and eddie all to give him a grossed out look.

"oh fuck off, tozier, leave her alone." stan mumbles, digging through the cooler to pull out a beer and handing one to eddie before pulling his keys to open his own. "you jealous, stanny?" richie mutters, making kissy noises. you roll your eyes and crack a grin despite your embarrassment.

"please. y/n's all mike's, none for me. he's just as hung up on her." stan mutters with a grin and you toss a rock at him in annoyance. god, they're the worst.

"she's also a person, you know." bev says, sending a pointed look to the boys just as bill and mike walk over, towels around their shoulders.

"y/n? a p-person? not so sure." bill teases, winking at you. you stick your tongue out at him, just glad they'd only caught the tail-end of that conversation. mike sits next to you, handing you a cold beer with a warm smile.

you feel those stupid butterflies again.

"i don’t know. y/n's pretty human to me." mike mutters as he wipes his face with his hand. you grin into your knees, feeling flustered and very, very, very infatuated with the boy next to you.

richie groans with a teasing smile, "see! that's what im talking about, are you guys j-" he makes a loud grunt then as ben whacks him in the stomach.

x

later that night, two more beers and four slices (you were so hungry) of pizza later, you find yourself gazing up at the stars. being at mike's house was one of your favorite things ever. besides the most obvious reason, the one that makes you flush, you do like coming to the farm because it's far enough away from the town that the stars are clear and you can lay and stare at them for hours.

luckily, mike kept his window screen removed so he himself could go on the roof, so after everyone had fallen asleep, you'd tip toed up to his room to crawl onto the roof. you'd also tried to hide your disappointment as you opened his door and he wasn't there - he hadn't been asleep downstairs with the others so you'd assumed he'd gone to sleep in his own bed.

nonetheless, you were up here now and it was perfect - the crickets chirping and frogs croaking in the creek a few yards to the left of the house, close enough that you can here it gurgling as the water flows past the rocks you used to jump across as kids.

you sigh. when did you grow up?

a breeze ruffles your hair lightly and you can smell the remnants of smoke in the air from the fire mike and ben had lit although that was hours ago.

mike. the thought brings butterflies all over your body and you curse yourself and your anxious crush. he was just so... so soft. he was strong and soft and careful and carefree - he was his own opposite and that thought itself confused you but you don't really care because every time he speaks, you want nothing more than just to listen for ages. you sit up, eyes wide and breaths halting at your own thoughts. wait.

that's love, isn't it?

"want some company?" a voice calls, prompting you to turn back and look towards the window, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar figure.

"hi mike." you say timidly, your face somehow feeling warm against the cool summer night. perfect timing. "hey, y/n/n." he mutters as he pulls himself through the ledge and out onto the roof, plopping himself next to you. he sits close enough that you can smell him and feel him against your leg - his smell is one of mint, wildflowers and some unknown cologne that makes you feel tingly.

"i thought you were asleep." you say, hating that you feel so damn nervous around your friend. if only these feelings would go away. he chuckles, looking at you, "no, i was getting water in the kitchen and when i came back, you weren't with the others. i knew you'd be up here."

something about his words make you feel very mushy and you give him a smile, "how'd you know?" you ask softly. he shrugs, his eyes darting quickly from yours to your lips and your heart freezes.

"i know you more than you think, y/n." he says equally as soft and then you notice how close he really is, how honest he sounds. and then your eyes flick away, taking in the soft rustle of the leaves in the distance, a lone car tumbling down the road into town, the left taillight blown out. you chuckle; it looks sort of like the car richie bought sophomore year that you all used to pile into to drive into bangor.

you then think about all your memories with the losers; how every single one always circulates around a familiar smile, a certain laughter and the kindest person you've ever known.

and then mike's arm lifts to rest around you and you quickly snap out of your stare at the grassy field of his farm to look at him. he's smiling back and you realize his voice and body next to yours might possibly be the one thing bearing the weight of your mind as your head threatens to join the shining stars and clouds above you. he takes care of you in ways that neither of you notice, in ways that you'll forever be grateful for.

"i just want to say something." he says, cutting out the silence with his crisp words, looking out towards the skyline where you can just make out the main street of derry over the fields.

you lean your head slightly onto his shoulder and hum, nervous that if you tried to speak no words would come out but just the sound of your racing heartbeat.

"y/n, i really like you."

it's said with no other inflections, nothing but the raw words doing so much to overpower your brain. your heart stops beating then starts again at a thumping, resounding pace. you think you're short-circuiting.

"oh... what?" you ask shyly, feeling extremely flushed. there's no way that mike likes you back. he smiles at you and god, those butterflies are about to escape from your chest. "you're not joking, are you?" you ask, biting your lip as your eyes navigate every feature of his face as he watches you. you dont even know why you said it - it's mike you're talking to. he would never lie or joke about something like this, he would never, ever hurt you like that.

"i have never felt this way about anyone.” he says honestly, a smile still on his face and your heart thumps wildly in your chest, a smile splitting your face in two as you shake your head. "y/n/n, i would never lie to you." but you already knew that.

your heart is swelling with so much antsy happiness that you almost huff a laugh, shaking your head as your cheeks flush. he's just watching you, half-smiling as he waits for you to fully react. he knows you so well, you almost cry, but instead you speak.

"i like you too, i think i lo-" you cut yourself off and suck in a breath, realizing that you haven't taken one in over thirty seconds. "i have for a long time. do you-do you think i could..." you trail off, feeling awkward.

he smiles gently, the hand that isn't around your shoulders reaching to softly cup your jaw. you can't speak as he pulls you closer and shit, even if you could you don't want to because you would ruin this beautiful moment, the way you're breathing each other in.

you close the gap.

his lips are warm against yours and the arm around your shoulder moves to your waist, pulling you closer to him and deepening the kiss. he tastes like vanilla ice cream and you whimper slightly, your hands falling on his chest as your heart pounds in your own. he's smilling, then - you can feel it.

you laugh with happiness as you realize that you can feel him smiling against your lips and that you'll be able to feel that for a very long time. he pulls back and pecks your lips again, staring into your eyes and then you peck his lips. he laughs and it makes you beam.

his arm pulls you into his side and he lays his head on yours as you stare out into the countryside. "are you tired, mike?" you ask, concerned that you've kept him up. you feel him shake his head and you smile softly, hand lacing with his against the tiles of the roof.

"no. i think i could stay up here forever." he whispers.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @toziershmozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @beauregard-s  @kait-tozier  @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell //

The one where Luka is a clown | Fictober19 #1

Prompt number: 「 one 」“It will be fun, trust me.”

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Luka Couffaine & [YOU]

Rating: T (Teens And Up)

Warnings/Tags: none

Summary: you’ve always had a crush on him bcs he simply was your type but nothing really happened unitl You & Luka get set up as project mates

Side note: I know that it’s the twelth of october but i just started it, i’ll write some more for fictober but i’ll use the prompts as i see fit bcs i’m just like that so yeah. anyways i hope this makes some kind of sense, its been a long time since i finished something i began writing. okay so i also wanted to write luka because there’s not many fics with him with an “x reader” tag. okay talk over, enjoy the story babes!!!!

"Hey."

I turned around in my seat and smiled. "Hi, Luka."

"So... how'd you wanna do this?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Do what?" Luka shared an amused smile. "Oh!" I face-palm. "The project! Right." I picked up the notebook with my notes from my desk and slammed it on his desk. Then I rotated it in his direction. "This is how we're going to do it."

"Wow, you've really thought this through already."

I rest my face on my hand and smirk. "It's no coincidence that I ace my presentations."

"I guess I'm lucky then."

"More than you think." I straighten my back. "Okay, no funny business tho. You fuck up and I'll make you suffer all the way to June. Take a picture of them notes so you have a copy and have a slight idea of what's going on."

He puts up a half-amused smile, "this ain't my first rodeo."

"But it's your first bullfight, so keep up." He laughed and I bit my lip. I might've gone overboard. 

"I'll do my best," he assured in a soft voice. Holy shit. He's so mellow. As soon as I was sure he had a picture of my notes, I took his phone. I entered into his contacts and added my number then dialed myself. 

I show him the screen of my phone. "Now we have each other's numbers." He smiled before I turned around just in time for the teacher to get in. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I was watching dessert recipes on YouTube when I received a message from Luka. The popup appeared from an Unknown number which reminded me that I forgot to add him to my contacts.

"hey"

     "hi"

    "what's up?"

"i went through ur notes"

    "yeah?"

    "they're amazing, aren't they"

"u made those in class"

"how???"

"they're too good"

You sent an image:

Unknown sent an image:

"anyhow"

"i wanted to know when you want to get the project finished"

"i thought that you'd want to finish it asap"

"u look like you have a busy schedule"

    "i'm free whenever, really"

    "but i don't want to finish it in one go"

    "so we'll spend a couple of days on it"

    "if u dont mind that is"

    "btw you give me too much credit"

"right"

"it's fine, yeah"

"more time to clown around"

Unknown sent an image:

    "> AUDIO (laughter)"

    "IM DYING"

    "WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY"

"i took clown courses in my childhood"

    "where's the diploma huh?"

"wait, lemme look"

"wait"

    "ur serious???"

"photo(clown certificate)"

    "I CAN'T BREATHE"

"clown code: never joke about being a clown"

    "AND HERE I WAS"

    "THINKING YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY AT SCHOOL"

    "BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST A CLOWN"

    "I WAS SO FOOLISH"

    "ur now officially added to my contacts as clown boy 🤡"

"coolest guy huh? ;)"

    "don't let it get to your head, clown boy"

    "as much as i'd love to know about your clown career, i have to go make dinner"

    "we'll talk more about it at school"

    "don't vanish on me"

    "i'll snap my fingers into Thanos' ass if i have to"

"right 😂"

At dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about Luka. We might've never talked much to each other but I always had the hots for him. He was just my type: tall, supposedly long hair for a boy, dyed hair, punk-like feel and especially (these just get me going) those black gauges in his ears. Anyways, I'd lie if I said I never got distracted in class because of the smell of his cologne.

"Thank you for dinner, [Y/N]," said my mom after she cleaned the table.

"Don't forget to do the dishes, love."

"Yes, Dad," I chuckled.

"We're off to bed, then. Goodnight, [Y/N]."

"Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad."

That night, I fell asleep thinking about how nice that chat conversation with Luka was.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I groaned loudly when I got into class. I ran because I was late for geography. When I got to class, the lack of a teacher at the desk made me want to kill myself. My classmates were scattered around the classroom in groups, as usual when a teacher was absent. Done with life, I walk to my desk, drop my backpack and accommodate my face on the desk. Suddenly, somebody is standing next to me. But I really just wanted some sleep so my first intention was to ignore whomever until well, it's self-explanatory.

"Looks like someone spent all night thinking about me."

"What!?" I see Luka. Now fully energized and heart pumping, I stutter: "No, no. What are you even saying?"

He laughs and takes a seat on the vacant spot in front of me. He rests his arms on my desk. "I'm just messing with you, wanted to see the reaction I'd get out of you. I wasn't expecting to fully wake you up." He smiles broadly and I stare into his eyes.

Have you ever met that person, no matter who they are, their eyes are so enthralling that you just can't help but keep staring at them? These kinds of eyes just have something... Something I'm unable to describe. And when I stare at them, they're so glossy and shiny.

"I think you'd look amazing if you wore eyeliner."

"Huh?" Half of his face moves upwards in sync. "That's very random."

"I mean, yeah." I look away, fidget with my bracelet and then look back. "I just thought it'd bring your eyes out even more."

"Ooh," he exhales knowingly. "Because they're blue, right?"

I knit my eyebrows together. "No," I say offended. Had this boy never realized how nice his eyes are?

"Why then?" He asks and nods his head onto his arms.

"Well," I lick my lips, "I don't know." I shrug "It's not because of the color, which is beautiful just so you know." I caress my arm and try very hard to maintain eye contact, occasionally looking away. "Your eyes, I don't know, they just have something."

He smiles at my words, "look who's talking."

"Not a clown, that's for sure." He groans in a boyish way and it melts my insides so warm I almost let it show.

"You won't let it go, won’t you?" He lays defeated on my desk, arms sprawled.

"You did that to yourself." He hummed in a way that seemed a mixture of displeasure and annoyance. His long hair was sprawled in every direction of my desk. I could tell that he washed his hair either last night or this morning —it smelled so nice. Luka smelled really nice and I couldn't help but bite my lip to restrain myself from sniffing him all over like I was some kind of dog-bred. I started playing with his hair and it was so much softer than I expected it to be, it was dyed after all. He let a pleasurable groan slip through.

"Does this bother you?"

Luka abruptly opened his eyes and forced my head to rest on the desk as well. With very soft caresses he ran his hand through my locks and I understood what it was that he intended.

"What about you?"

I stared into his eyes for a moment and closed them, then resumed playing with his hair as he did the same. We were so close, I could hear his silent breathes. I wondered if this could be considered as cuddling. Honestly? I didn't care because I was enjoying it.

"Hey, guys, look at [Y/N] and Luka."

"Woah, when did that happen."

"Never thought [Y/N] liked that type of guy."

"You're kidding, right? Luka's definitely her type."

We spent the rest of the hour like that. Somewhere in between, the rest of the class noticed us but, frankly, we paid them no mind. But it made me anxious. Not because of what they said but about what Luka might've thought about it.

"I kind of like this," he whimpers softly as if scared he'd break whatever we had going on.

I agree with him softly, just as scared to ruin the mood.

When the bell rang, we hesitantly broke apart. Luka returned to his assigned seat behind me and then class started. The moments the teacher repeated subjects the class already went through, Luka played with the ends of my hair.

After the school bell rang for the last time that day, Luka approached me. He asked if I wanted to start on the project today. Luka was so cute while he asked. He didn't do anything particularly cute but the way he looked when he leaned on the wall had sent me flying. Obviously, I said that it was a good idea. Not desperately, of course, even though I wanted to grab him and steal him away. I kept my cool.

"What time?"

He grimaced to hide a grin. "I was hoping, like, right now?"

"Uh, well... On any other particular month, I'd agree and take you to my house. But we're getting reformations done so it's a very big mess."

"We can go to my place." He states like it's a universal fact.

"But all my shit's at home, and I'd want to empty my backpack, grab some money, etcetera."

"Okay, I get it. I can take you home and we'll head right over to mine?"

Even though I might pass out any moment out of pure embarrassment, I cross my arms in an 'X' in front of his face.

"No way that's happening, clown boy."

"What? Why?" He frowns.

"No way in hell I'm letting you drive me on your motorbike."

A small laugh escapes his lips. "You've never been on a motorcycle?"

I act displeased.

Luka laughs with a hand on his stomach. "You haven't!" I scowl and his laughter subdues. He waves his hands in front of him and apologizes for laughing. "I'll be careful, just for you." He assures.

"Even if I agreed... I doubt you'd have a second helmet. And we all know that police officer which has an obsession for the law."

"I got us covered on that one, I have two."

I stare at him. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"

"No," he grins, "it just happens to be that I usually pick my sister up from her school."

"Oh, so she's gonna have to walk all the way back to your house. We can't let her do that, can we?" No matter how much I crush on Luka, anything that can get me out of sitting on that devil's contraption, I'd go with.

"I said 'usually', didn't I?" I can feel his smirk soaking right through me but in a much more softer tone he said "it'll be fun," and smiles "trust me."

It was his goddamn smile that convinced me to agree.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"I never knew you could live in a boat."

I looked around the main deck and, for some reason, I felt very lightweight and free.

"You don't like it?"

"The contrary, I love it!" I smile at him, "it adds to your charm."

Luka smiles back, "thanks."

Both of us walked inside the boat. I took everything all at once. You rarely get the chance to be inside a boat-home. But the most surprising thing was that it was stable —at least more than I thought.

"My room's the one at the end. Get yourself comfy —I'll be right there."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay."

Once I get into his room, I relax and take a look around. I leave my backpack by the door and head straight for the most valuable thing to me in his room. Luka had one of the nicest guitar stands available on which laid the most basic electric guitar ever... but since looks can deceive, I pick it up.

I make myself comfortable on his bed along with Luka's guitar and a guitar pick I snatched from the wall. Without thinking twice, I started to play. It didn't matter to me that I hadn't plugged the guitar into an amplifier, this particular tab didn't need the magic of electricity. I suppose I should have asked first if I could play but it's too late now-

"That's 'Lonely Day', right?"

"Ah! Shit! Sorry!" I stood up hastily, the guitar pick went flying to the floor and I placed the guitar back where it was supposed to be. I turn to him to apologize, "I should've asked-."

Luka walks past me, grabs the guitar by its fretboard and puts the strap around himself. He shuffles around me and I was too confused to realize what he was doing. Then he hands me the guitar fully-tuned-connected-to-an-amplifier guitar. He lifts it by the fretboard again and hands it over to me as if telling me to take it. I stare into his eyes and do exactly that.

At that moment, we didn't need any words as I accepted his silent offer. I strum dumbly and then start fidgeting with the knobs on his amplifier. I bite my lip, it doesn't have as many options as mine and it's smaller than the one I have at home but I managed to get the right sound.

I started playing a song that I had played countless times and felt very confident. This moment was about impressing Luka and I was determined to blow him away. But the moment I started playing, I couldn't keep up the cool-girl act and grinned as I played around the room.

"Wow," he said amazed after I finished. "I never knew you played guitar, let alone that well."

"I'm amazing, I know," I wink.

"What did you play?"

"You don't recognize it!?" I gasp loudly. I put my hands over my heart. "Oh, my heart! It hurts! I have never been so hurt before!"

He holds back an embarrassed smile. "Guilty as charged."

"It's Crowd Chant, by Satriani," an exaggerated sad smile adorns my lips.

"Oh, right! The guy from 'Surfing with the Alien'!"

"Yes, that one! I love him, he's my idol!"

"He's good."

"Good? He's a GOD." I pout at him. "Your idol is Jagged Stone, that's why you have so little appreciation for him."

"Right."

I playfully punch him. "Just kidding."

"I thought I was supposed to be the clown around here."

I laugh very loud at that. "Yes! I will - haha - leave - ha - the rest to you."

During the week we were making the project we had gotten really close and we kept hanging out at each other's houses even when the project was long ago finished. I met his very cool mum, and his sister, who is physically exactly like him but both of them don't seem to admit it. And he met my small family too.

"I keep telling you! You do look alike! Genetics is no joke."

"I agree with [Y/N]!" Juleka's friend said one day over dinner. I can't remember what her name was but I always thought there was more than 'friends' between her and Juleka.

"We do not look alike; you both must be very blind," Luka jokes and I pinch him very hard. "Ow! Stop!" He pinches back.

"No! Luka! That was payback for yesterday!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I growl. "You're very mean."

He shrugs, "whatever you say, [Y/N]."

"Oh, 'whatever I say' it is, is it?" I crossed my arms and pondered without breaking my staring contest with Luka. "So if I said you're ugly, you'd agree?"

He smirked, "sure." I felt how triumph tasted and literally a second later I tasted defeat. "But it won't affect the fact that my eyes have 'something'."

I became a blushing mess and everyone at the table stared at us.

"So..." Juleka started, unsure. "Does that mean that [Y/N] confessed first?"

Juleka's blonde friend nodded, "I knew it!"

"I'm happy for the both of you," Mrs. Couffaine cheered with a very sweet smile.

There was a problem with their cheers which made Luka and me quite uncomfortable. It was wrong. Nothing had happened between us.

"It's...! It's not like that!" I attempt to defend ourselves and turn to Luka. "That's not what that was, right, Luka?"

He was looking in the opposite direction, scratching his crimson red neck. "I mean..."

I hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God, I want to kill myself."

"You know what? We will leave you both to work out whatever misunderstanding there might be, okay?" And with no answer, all three of them left.

"Let's go outside." With no warning, Luka took me by the hand and guided me to the main deck. It was chilly outside and I shivered but kept it to myself. "Here." Luka handed me his jacket.

"Thanks," I smile and put it on. It still smells like his cologne.

"About what Juleka said..." He avoided my gaze by looking into the river. "I might've told her that I like you," he turns to me and takes my hands, "a lot." Luka squeezes my hands out of nervousness. "The way you and I understand each other, without any words, just the music is enough. I feel like we're connected through it like we are the power-chords to any rock song."

My heart was melting, I always knew deep down that Luka's a very sweet romantic and he was killing me with his cuteness. I never knew you could look cute and hot during a confession. "Luka, I-"

"Remember when we sang 'Anything better than you'?"

"Yeah."

I recalled the memory. At the end of the song, when the part that goes "I can sing anything sweeter than you" our lips were so close... I couldn't stop thinking about it before I fell asleep every night.

"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I just couldn't do it." Luka pulled me in and we were as close as that other time, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. "Until now."

Luka kissed me and I kissed back. We kissed each other so desperately and I ran my hand through his hair. Fuck, how I loved the softness of his hair. We break apart for a kiss and stare at each other's eyes, dumbfounded. We kiss again except this time it wasn't as desperate. It was softer, a kiss only Luka could make amazing. Luka had thin lips but made up for it with the way he kissed. I wanted to kiss him more, I wanted more from Luka so I kissed him harsher. Then he broke apart the kiss, clearly taken aback from it.

My heart stopped, "I... I'm sorry-!" He cut me off by kissing me harsher than I did and I loved every second of his harshness. I began feeling his neck, his back, his chest and pushed myself closer to him as every second that passed it became hotter.

We broke the make-out apart. Our flushed faces appreciated the cool night breeze. We keep wrapped around each other. "I think we should get back inside."

I listened to his pounding heart through his chest. "Not yet, clown boy."

"Whatever you say, love."