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micromanfever · 2 years

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Villano IV interview with Planchitas Diario Pasala

Villano IV interview with Planchitas for Diaro Pasalo (news outlet)

Interview video link https://youtu.be/l6crfgYA-Yg

Began training at Shu El Guerrero Gym at 8 years old by taking olympic wrestling classes that were taught by his brother Villano I at the time

He pretty much grew up at the gyms where his father (Ray Mendoza) would train

The feeling that he had to try wrestling grew in him as he was training at the gym. He would begin to look for ways to wrestle without his family knowing

Villano IV, now 15, who had only been training olympic wrestling, was invited to speak with the promoter of Arena RAF

“Would you like to wrestle?”

“How”

“You wrestle in the ring”

“No, no way, I don’t even know how. I have only been training olympic wrestling”

“That’s all you need! What more is there to know?”

“No. No. How am I going to get in there? I’m not ready.”

“Pfft. You already are a trained olympic wrestler. Come on. Try it.”

“I get left with that spline in my head and finally agree to do it. The day of my birthday was when I debuted.

Planchitas: What name did you use?

VIV: The name was Loden Lei (SP??) with an L… It was against a boy named “El Ovni” from Tabasco.

(shows photo) he was a student of his brother. Debut - April 9, 1980

PL: Why the name?

VIV: I was watching a movie and it was one of those junk movies nobody pays attention to. I saw it at night when I came downstairs and I couldn’t fall asleep. It was about a guy that was like a vampire-human that would go in the water and turn into a shark. He would eat people in the water and when he was done, would come back to the surface and turn into a human again. I liked the name so I went with it.

It was a difficult debut for me since there was a lot I didn’t know. The wrestlers should have a proper training period and now many do not want to fight for it or suffer….

I thought that with what I learned about olympic style was enough, but no. The first match I got in there and the conditioning was the most challenging phase you go through at first. Within 3-4 minutes my mouth was dry. I wanted to drink some water. My legs were shaking. My body wasn’t responding.

“the wrestling is not that easy”

Maybe it was bad what I did, but it was what I needed to go through. It taught me that bad things can be some of the best things to happen to you. (almost cries)

Villano got in the ring to wrestle El Enfermero. Who scolded him for getting in the ring to wrestle and shamed him for demeaning the family name.

VIV: It worked. I took off my gear . Showered. Passed by Carlos Maynez (arena neza).

Carlos: Hey, did you get paid already?

VIV: No. It’s ok. Just leave it.

Carlos: No. No. You did the work. Good or bad? But you did it. So now you will get paid.

Villano goes on to collect his pay and ends up bumping into El Enfermero who only told him “I’m there Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 7-10” and left.

Villano then tells another story similar to this one.

VIV had secured 3 dates from this other promoter. After working there the promoter sent his son to the back to cancel the dates they agreed upon because he was so bad.

VIV finally revealed to his brother that he was wrestling now. Who shamed him and told him to go traing with him. Since then VIV trained every morning with him, then trained at Arena Neza during the day.

VIV changed his name to Uron because he was getting bullied about his other name sounding like a famous booby actress name.

He kept secretly taking dates to see how he was progressing as a worker.

Leopardo Negro watched his match and complimented him. Invited him to be his tag partner. He had his costume ready for him and everything. It went really well for them as a team.

Leopardo continued to invite him to work as his partner until he finally proposed to make him Leopardo Negro II. VIV agreed.

VIV called up the arena looking for dates. He explained how he was now Leopardo Negro II. They were not that impressed but still gave him a trial. Other arenas were and gave him more dates.

A year and a half of working as part of this team. They finally got dates farther away from the city. But once it was too far for Leopardo Negro to take time off from his Volkswagen job. So he found a local wrestler to work as Leopardo I.

One time he got a date with his brother Villano V working Black Shadow, Fishman, Black Man. Legendary opponents at Arena Lopez Mateos. He got into a fight with Leopardo as the finish. The next week they had a brawl to set up the mask match. Winner would get the mask and name.

VIV won the mask y name match against Leopardo (82-83)

His father was ok with him wrestling but disappointed. He thought he needed a better physique. Thought he was a skinny kid that would get hurt easily.

VIV considers himself as a dreamer type. Brings up how wrestling was frowned upon during his childhood by society. He learned from his family to protect the wrestling and respect. Witnessed how his brother would teach pseudo tough guys a lesson at the gym.

VIV thinks he can change people’s perception of wrestling with his performance.

PL asks about time with/out father around

VIV brings up not having him around due to him being a star for EMLL. Not getting to see much of him around. Sometimes he would tour for months without being home. He had a lot more time as an independent to be with his family.

Mention of Rene Guajardo doing a move with his father Ray Mendoza that left half his body paralyzed. It severely depressed Ray. VIV almost cries remembering that time. He misses him a lot. He misses feeling the tough of his hands. His advice. Also his mother.

He was impressed by how he could keep going no matter how beat up and hurt he was. How his father trained with such tenacity.

VIV tells story about his father working El Solitario

He thinks El Solitario had the best tope of the time because of how hard they hit and how far he could reach.

“Father took a tope and I heard how the seat they fell into broke. I heard his shriek. I was up in the rafters watching. All the fans got up and I couldn’t see...father had red all over his arm. The fluid from his elbow had all leaked out..”

It was very emotional for him to witness what his father had to do to feed his family.

VIV back talked his mother about his father not being around one night and she slapped him. Told him that he has no idea how he is getting on at the moment, but he is at home, warm, fed, bathed.

Now he is very proud of his family and what they accomplished.

He learned to not fear anything or anyone.

Overall very thankful for his upbringing and suffering along the way. Parents taught him not to get in other’s business and wish good on others. To have faith.

He puts his success on preparation and discipline as someone that has accomplished every dream they had for themselves.

VIV transitioned into the Villano name when he picked up the slack for Villano II who was working on becoming a doctor and he was also working with a tough injury. He dropped out of school to become a full time wrestler at this point.

VIV was now working top level names regularly early into his career. He had to quickly rise to the occasion and committed more to training. Working as a Villano took his career to the next level. He went on to collect several masks. Have great matches and collect championships as time went on.

Says it’s one thing gain the respect of fans and family and another to gain it from the other wrestlers. “Like the great Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, another..a German (Alex Wright?)”

Shinjiro Ohtani story

VIV recalls taking a spinning kick off the ropes. He split his lip from the kick. When he got to the back, Eddie Guerrero was yelling “VIVA MEXICO CABRONES” celebrating the match. He complimented them on the match. Dean Malenko was walking behind him fro the next match. Dean complimented him too. Eddie was shocked. He couldn’t believe Dean just said “very nice match”.

Eddie was beside himself because in the 8 years he had known Dean, he has never complimented anyone before. He hugged him after explaining.

VIV very proud to gain that respect. Thinks his japan matches are what gained him international notoriety.

He thanks Konnan for getting him the opportunity but, believes the references from Eddie, Dean, Chris are what secured him the job in WCW.

VIV feels that retirement is coming up on him. He would be perfectly fine with ending it today. He gave his best and feels he did everything he wanted to do.

But now with the mask match coming up, he wants to leave with Pentagon’s mask

VIV begins crying when thinking that nobody believes he is going to win the mask match on Triplemania. He loves being at the gym and feels safe there.

VIV wants the people to uphold the values that he stood for when he leaves. To respect the wrestling more. “knowing others will undo what I have built”

In high school, he was given an assignment to make a clay design project. He created his first mask for that school project. This was before he was wrestling.

He recycled the first masks had made by adding some small motifs so he didn’t have to get new ones made.

Another name he worked under was Moloc. Part of trio. He filled in for an absent worker for a while to gain more experience and help people out.

VIV only wanted to please his parents. But he was going through a rebelious phase as Leopardo Negro II and one time it caused a fight between his parents after his father was disciplining him. Things escalated to where his brother Villano III stepped in to defend him. His father then smacked Villano 3. VIV pleaded with him to stop and felt incredibly guilty. (Villano 3 was on his way to being one of the best already at this point) This fight caused him to dedicate more of himself to his wrestling and made it his goal.

PT2 interview link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6C-En3nw4E

VIV flashes more old pictures of times thoughout his career and talks about them.

Chamaco Orduna was assassinated but VIV notes him as a very gifted and charismatic wrestler that would have had an important career if he wasn’t killed so young.

VIV shows picture of him in hospital bed talking about his neck break injury. Shows image of his surgery incision. Recalls being out for a year and a half. The break could have killed him or paralyzed him if he didn’t have such a worked built up neck. He thanks family for making him do all those bridges.

He arrived at the hospital and the doctor did not let him leave the hospital after they first saw him because of his condition. He had driven his way there himself. They were not going to let him fly home because of the altitude might hurt him.

He proudly shows off a magazine nothing the mask match vs Los Brazos as MOTY

Message to Pentagon Jr.

You are going to go in to win. So will I. You don’t think about losing. Neither do I. I wish you success. The best man will win. I feel fortunate that a comment I made helped you and helped you to become what you are now. One of the biggest out there now. You only got there with the same struggle I went through. I know it’s going to tough and you will defend your mask with everything. Good luck

VIV calls the fans the key to his motor. He feels supported and a great responsibility to win his mask match. He takes all the fan messages to heart. He hopes that he can repay the support and thanks the fans and his family for letting him keep doing what he does.

follow the reporter here on FB https://www.facebook.com/people/El-Planchitas/100035604926231/

#lucha libre #Luchador #Lucha Libre AAA #CMLL

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

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Frustration

Characters: Childe, Diluc, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,068 words

Premise: Commissions don’t always go as planned, much to your frustration. Luckily there’s someone there to make you feel better.

Author’s Note: So I’ve been thinking of writing Genshin stuff for months now but haven’t, for various reasons mainly that being how much this blog is already a bit of a disarrayed mess. But after awhile I decided another fandom won’t hurt. Besides I think it’s better to write something than nothing, even if the fandom keeps changing. So… yeah?

This particular scenario was basically my day today. The characters have been chosen out of my own personal will. I was going to do Zhongli as well but I’m exhausted so if this is well received perhaps I’ll do that another day.

Also I’m so tired I’m halfway to a headache and feel a bit floaty so sorry if there are grammar mistakes and such. Anyways, hope you like!

Character Banners in progress

Ao3 link in reblog

Childe

“I’m gonna kill someone.” You muttered, slamming your weapon down on the table, causing the ginger next to you to start.

“As long as that person’s not me I’ll be glad to help you.” You weren’t sure whether you found the comment worrying, insulting, or charming, and decided not to reply, instead throwing yourself in the chair across from Childe, usually reserved for customers or some member of the Fatui higherups, though today you could care less.

“Hey, am I not good enough?” Childe half whined half joked. You only grunted before getting up and walking over to his chair, plopping yourself on his lap and promptly picking at a stray thread on his coat which had caught your eye and was now becoming an increasing source of irritation.

Taking this as a sign Childe gently pried your nails away from the offending thread. Placing your palms in his gloved hands he smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Want to tell me about it?”

“It’s this stupid ley line! You know, the one in the stone forest? I was commissioned to keep an eye on it, normal stuff, but this one seems absolutely crawling with all sorts of slimes and the like, hilichurls too and a stray bandit here or there. They keeping breaking the damn thing and the minute I fix it they’re back again. At this rate I’m not going to finish it!” You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking of the hours you’d spent fighting with the thing. You’d even let out a few tears of frustration in the process, and having nothing to show for it was intensely irritating, to say the least.

“Poor darling.” Childe’s smirk was timeless, but there was a softness to it that you took as confirmation that he understood. I mean if anyone was going to understand it was going to be a member of the Fatui. As much as you disliked the group on principle, you did have to admit that Childe was certainly a hard worker, and running around at the whims of the far off Tsaritsa certainly had its trials.

Slumping against his chest you allowed yourself to relax a bit, some tension brought out simply by the act of telling someone about the frustrations that were building up, like someone shaking a corked bottle. Childe kissed your hands, a welcome distraction, before giving you a peck on the nose. You smiled at that, squeezing his hands. It felt good to have someone to complain to, to have someone who understood. But that was Childe, surprisingly understanding. And always looking for a fight.

“So…” as if on cue Childe spoke up, tone becoming truer, his smile becoming more foxlike. “You have something you need help fighting I hear.”

“Don’t let this get you any ideas.” You smirked right back. “I can still whip you when it comes to sparring at you know it. Besides, won’t I get in trouble if you’re there.”

“Give me half the commission rate and we’ll call it square.”

“Such a steep rate!” You gasped in fake horror, nevertheless lifting yourself off the chair. Childe was up no sooner, giving you a mischievous grin.

“Well of course! I can’t have you fleecing me out of my money. Not when I’ve already given you my heart, which is quite expensive by the way.” Giving you a quick forehead kiss he took your hand then, giving some half assed excuse to the poor desk clerk when they asked where he was going. “I have to save someone some trouble.”

You scoffed at that, but it was true. Childe was saving you a lot of trouble, and keeping your pride in some sort of piece. That was Childe. Wild, passionate, aching for a fight, perhaps not a great person – no in fact decidedly not so. But he was also surprisingly caring, reliable, and steadfast. And that was all you could ask for in the moment.

Diluc

“Do you know where in Monstadt someone is supposed to find 50 Windwheel Asters?”

Diluc whipped his head up at that one; out of all the things he expected you to say that was certainly not one of them. It was almost closing time at the Winery, and this was normally the time when you came up to see him, chatting about this and that, waiting for him to close the ledger so you two could have some time together. In the entire history of your relationship there’d never been an evening that began such as this.

“There should be some around here, and Windrise if you’re in for a bit of a hike. But 50 is an awful lot, and I’m not sure the florists would be happy if you carted off with all their flowers.”

“I know.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning against the wall, picking at your fingernails. “I know that finding 50 of anything in a day is a hard task. But I was given a short noticed commission by some wealthy tradesman who’s passing by and wanted some flowers for a gala or some such thing. It’s important for the Guild that I complete these you know, and I’m not looking forward to telling Katheryne about it tomorrow.”

You sighed, glancing out the window of the Winery. You thought of all the places in Monstadt the view was perhaps loveliest here, cozy, with a view of all that made Monstadt, the planes, the forest, even a glimpse of the waterways that ran through it. But right now all you could think about was how in such a vast swath of land you’d still failed to meet the goal, you’d still turned up empty handed.

“Would you sit next to me?” Diluc’s voice broke you out of your depressing reverie and you sat down in the chair adjacent to his – a recent addition to his office – laying your head somewhat awkwardly on his shoulder, running your hands through his soft hair. You two sat in silence like that for a bit, the steady flow of Diluc’s pen keeping your eyes occupied while your hands braided and twisted at random, gentle and absentminded.

Finally the ledger was closed and Diluc turned to you. Smiling he massaged your left shoulder slightly, eliciting a sigh from you.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for things like this.” He began, his tone soft and low. “No reasonable person on Earth would ask you to gather so many flowers in a day. Even Flora doesn’t sell that many to a single customer without an order, and her whole job consists of selling flora. You’ve watched me work long enough, do you think I’d sell 50 kegs of wine to a tradesman on site?”

“No, of course not.” You mumbled. “But it’s my job to do the unconventional requests, how can I pick and choose at random? I can’t very well complete only half of my commissions.”

“Of course not, but nobody expects you to simultaneously catch 50 flowers out of thin air either. The Guild has its own regulations and rules you know, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a violation of one. No one doubts your prowess my dear. You’ve slain Eyes of Storms and have scaled mountains taller than most people in Monstadt might ever imagine. You done what might be considered impossible to some many times. So you should trust in the Guild and in the people of Monstadt. They aren’t well likely to turn their back on you over such a ridiculous request.”

You hummed a reply, resting your hands on Diluc’s. All he said was probably right of course, Katheryne could very well tell you how ridiculous such a request was, and no harm would come to your reputation. But your relationship with Diluc was still young, there was still so much to learn about the other, and so hearing such confident praise from him felt like a sort of gift, recompense for such a frustrating ordeal. Humming once more you leaned your head on his shoulder again. Tomorrow you would go and tell the Guild about the debacle, and let the man know the ridiculousness of his request. But tonight you just wanted to rest with the person you cherished the most. That was all you wished for.

Xiao

“Something’s wrong.” Xiao’s voice was purposefully flat, and you wondered not for the first time how the adeptus in front of you had become so good at reading your mood, especially considering the fact that he admitted himself that his grasp on human emotions was a tricky one. He always seemed to know when you were upset at least, and your initial urge to attempt to hide your frustration immediately blew away.

“It’s been a rough day.” You admitted, standing next to him on the Wangshu Inn’s railing, letting the cool evening breeze cool you down. It’d been an obnoxiously hot day, and you were glad for any bit of fresh air. Xiao said nothing, but you could feel his gaze on you, waiting for your decision as to whether or not you’d let him know the reason you were upset. Not that it was really a question, at this point you couldn’t imagine a time when you didn’t tell Xiao practically everything, from the most mundane to those things that loomed largest in your life. You’d never met someone you trusted so much in your life before, and it felt rather freeing, knowing that he didn’t mind a bit, something that had scared you when you first began opening up to him.

“It’s just a commission, nothing ground shaking. Thankfully.” You added on, thinking of when Liyue had almost been swallowed whole; the moment when it seemed all would fail, before the miraculous traveler had bound the adept and the citizens of Liyue together. It was something you weren’t likely to forget, and something you never wished to relive. “That being said.” You added on. “It’s something that, well, is distressing me a lot.”

Xiao stood patiently as you explained to him that your deceptively simple commission of delivering food to someone had managed to go horribly awry after a group of Cryo slimes had left the food frozen solid, with the angry customer unwilling to pay or wait for a replacement.

“It wasn’t too expensive thankfully.” You remarked. “I mean it was just food. But it feels silly, and a bit embarrassing. I mean of course I should’ve paid, I don’t begrudge that. I just don’t understand how I managed to screw up something so fundamentally simple. It seems… somehow a bit of a slap in the fact. I mean, aren’t I any good?”

“Of course you are.” Xiao’s answer was firm, but not unkind. Instead it held in it the certainty of one who’d lived thousands of years, and whose trust in you was absolute. Drawing closer, the adeptus glanced around, making sure there was no one around, before slinging an arm around your own, drawing you close and running soft circles around your shoulder.

“You’re a great adventurer.” He remarked, voice filled with as much serious as there was fondness. “I’ve seen many warriors, many adventurers come and go in my time. Those whose feats will fill the pages of books and the staves of songs long after they themselves have been reduced to ashes. Those who will be called great heroes. All of them fell sometimes. And, if you must fall, I’d rather it be over something so simple as a botched food delivery.”

You glanced up into Xiao’s eyes. Normally he was reticent with words, even moreso with gestures. Every word let you deeper into someone’s life, into their past, their personality, their soul. No word was careless with Xiao. And as you stared at eyes filled with pride and love and worry, suddenly you felt as if what had just passed was small, oh so very small. There would be another commission, just as there would be another tomorrow. There’d be another failure most likely too. Many of them even. But they were small stones in a great big pond, quickly sinking out of sight and out of mind.

“I love you.” You breathed, and Xiao’s face seemed to open all of a sudden, shedding a thousand cares and a thousand worries. He pressed his forehead to your own.

“I love you too.”

#I'm so so so tired #sorry for not writing for so long #and having no good schedule of works of fandoms #I'm sorry #genshin impact #childe #diluc #xiao #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact x reader #scenarios #my writing

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sintheyokai · 3 years

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Meeee, writing something for Obey Me? Shocking yes but an idea popped in my head regarding my OC, Arabella Roun, and I simply had to write it because it's the first time I've ever had a full script in my head (again shocking, especially from a writers point of view). I value your time, so this story will be in two parts, the first of which will be under the cut:

[Part 2]

No Father of Mine (Part 1)

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**for additional information, Arabella is originally French living with her found family in Mexico and she's multilingual. Translated French will be italicized and translated Spanish will be bolded, unless presumed otherwise. This is pre-Belphrelease.

Arabella is many things- an assassin, an actress, a spy, all of which require a mask she's worn since childhood. All of which, as she learned in her previous home, require a heart of stone. Because of this, Arabella does not see herself as kind, unworthy of praise where praise is due. Despite these thoughts, however, she is determined to pay off Mammon's debt, even if it means dragging in others to do so. While doing so, the topic of a name comes up, which brings along other, uncomfortable topics.

"Mammon, exactly how much do you owe those witches?"

It was a very sudden question Arabella brought up at dinner, pulling out a notebook and pen from her bag. She received many stares from the six avatars that watched over her, even Leviathan had paused his game to stare in disbelief.

"Bella baby, you DO know what you just asked for, right?"

"I do, Asmodeus, and I am fully prepared for an answer."

Mammon grimaced, scratching the back of his head as the numbers churned in his mind.

"Severalllll billion Grimm I think? I couldn't give you an exact number."

Arabella made a noise in the back of her throat, "Very well. But it is below the trillion mark?"

Mammon nodded. He knew that much. Conversation thought to be over, the lords continued to eat.

But Arabella was not quite done yet.

"Do you know how much that would be in human change?"

Several distressed sounds were heard.

"Why are ya so damn interested in my debt!?"

"If a normie like you has that much money, I'm eating my headphones."

Lucifer finally silenced the whole table.

"I understand you and Mammon are very close to each other, Arabella," he started, "But the thought that you could pay off his debt is ludicrous, and will teach him not-"

"With all due respect, Lord Lucifer, I've earned quite a lot of money doing my human world job," Arabella interrupted, "If you will not answer my question then I will ask another: how much Grimm is equal to a human dollar?"

"Bout 500." Of course Mammon would know that instantly. She nodded at him and began to write in her notebook- 500 Grimm= 1 dollar; Trillion Grimm= ??? dollars.

Asmo looked like he was about to faint, "Arabella, our sweet little human, you can't be serious! You say you have a lot of money but this is Mammon we're talking about, you shouldn't spoil him like this!"

"It is because of his debt that they hold power over him, is that not correct?"

The room became silent. Arabella continued.

"Now, I do not know where lines are drawn in terms of morality here - how far people must go before someone finally says enough is enough. But where I draw my line is when you have people who hold themselves higher than they really are, and they flaunt it for all the world to see. Even worse are those who think that no one will challenge them, then abuse their power further when someone finally does. If these witches want money I will give them that money. But I will not let them hold that much power over a lord of Hell and do nothing when they laugh in his face."

She noticed Mammon slightly tearing up, and she almost smiled. She didn't, instead turning her attention back to her notebook, "Now please allow me to work."

The permission given was silence.

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"So if 500 is 1 then it's reasonable to assume 5000 is ten... right?" Arabella was muttering to herself.

The sudden switch in languages nearly sent the table into a frenzy once more, especially Asmodeus.

"1000 is two, two times five, 1000 times five... Yeah yeah okay that's 5000. How many 0s is a trillion again?"

"Oh darling you speak Fre-" Asmo tried to squeal before Arabella covered his mouth.

"Trying to count. It's much easier in my native language. So a trillion is... A million iiiis- six. So a billion is nine, meaning a trillion is twelve zeroes. Twelve, twelve, Quetzalcoatl please save me."

"Oi, how many languages do ya spe-"

"Several, Mammon, and if no one is eating please get out so I can concentrate."

The room stayed quiet from then on.

"A trillion is twelve zeroes... Wait." she paused, "What the hell all I needed was a trillion divided by 500, fuck. Okay so that's.. gods above what is that." She pulled out her D.D.D., quickly typing the numbers into her calculator

"What I'm getting is that I would need 2 billion to pay off your debt." she directed towards Mammon writing the number down in her notebook, "And that's if I did this correctly."

"I'nt tha a lo'?" Bell asked, mouth bulging with the others' unfinished plates.

"Well yes," Arabella said, "But with a little contribution from my other family members and friends, this could actually be paid off. If I spent all the money I have currently saved, aside from money used solely for donations to charities and money set aside for familial business, that would take a chunk out of such a large number in itself. The remainder would be about 1.5 billion."

"As impressed as I am with your determination on this matter," Attention turned to the eldest brother, "I'm concerned as to where you got all this money."

"My job pays high depending on how well the end result is. And my squad produces very good end results, Lord Lucifer." She turned to Mammon.

"Mammon, what nationalities are these witches? I'm aware there are three, but remind me where they come from."

The demon clicked his tongue, "One is from Romania, one's from Japan, and the last one's from France."

"Alright, so 2 billion divide by three.. that's going to be uneven." She typed the numbers, keeping in a strangled chuckle. "66,666,666.67 dollars per witch. How ironic. Okay so converting that means..." she typed a few more numbers, "270,700,010.21 lei for Romania, 7,312,366,949.56 yen for Japan, and 55,022,751.91 euros for France. Provided I didn't mistype anything."

Arabella stood up, "Very well then! I'm going to make a phone call to a few family members, a few friends of mine, and we'll get this sorted."

Notebook with these calculations in hand, she walked to the common room, unaware of the six lords following her all the way.

************************

And that is Part 1! I will post the second part within a day of posting this at the same time, so keep an eye out if you want, please reblog if you can, it’d be really appreciated, and send me feedback if you feel like it too.

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kolachess · 3 years

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DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated

I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)!

This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.

Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.

This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)

Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.

Translation Context:

Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.

Text Legend:

Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)

[TN: ...] are my notes

[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations

== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer

Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?

Names Context:

They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS

The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.

Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.

Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen

Nangongling is the name of the interviewer

Interviewer:

Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.

NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.

Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?

NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.

Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==

NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.

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Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==

NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]

Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=

NPSS: No relationship.

Interviewer: … No relationship?

NPSS: Yup. No relationship.

Interviewer: … ==

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?

NPSS: 2010.

NPSS: The problem is…

Interviewer: What?

NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.

Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==

NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.

Interviewer: Hey!

NPSS: It’s great.

Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]

NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]

NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.

Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.

NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].

Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]

Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.

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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?

NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]

Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]

NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]

Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?

NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]

Interviewer: … ==

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…

NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.

Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…

NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]

NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?

NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]

Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==

NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]

NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.

Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)

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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)

NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.

Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.

NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.

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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==

NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]

Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?

NPSS: Probably.

Interviewer: In America?

NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.

Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!

NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.

Interviewer: No! No! No!

NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.

Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]

NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]

Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will there be romance?

NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.

Interviewer: … who and who?

NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.

Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.

NPSS: Tentacles.

Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]

NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?

Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).

NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.

Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.

NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.

Interviewer: He’s already very calm.

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Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.

NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Huh? What?

NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Disturb what?

NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]

Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]

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Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]

NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.

Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]

NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]

Interviewer: Hey… ==

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Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?

NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.

Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]

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Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]

NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.

Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]

NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]

Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]

NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?

Interviewer: Haha, fun right?

NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.

Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds)

Interviewer: Enough. Next.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]

NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]

Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?

NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.

Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)

NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.

Interviewer: Really is younger? ==

NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.

Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.

NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.

Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?

NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL] performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.

Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]

NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]

Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…

NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]

Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.

Interviewer: And then?

NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.

Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?

NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.

Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)

NPSS: I also want to get a cult.

Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.

NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.

Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.

NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.

Interviewer: How?

NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]

Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]

NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.

Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.

NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.

Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?

NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.

Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.

NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?

Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?

NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.

Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.

NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship. Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.

Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…

NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.

Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.

NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]

Interviewer: Ershu?

NPSS: He knows some.

Interviewer: Then what about his dad.

NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.

Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]

NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?

Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]

NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.

Interviewer: …How bad…

NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]

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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?

NPSS: Dies of old age.

Interviewer: How mundane!

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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?

NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.

Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?

Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].

NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].

Interviewer: …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?

NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.

Interviewer: Ahaha….

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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]

NPSS: Don’t know.

Interviewer: As expected…

NPSS: It’s your husband?

Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?

NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.

Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?

NPSS: Also likes her.

Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]

NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.

Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.

NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]

NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.

Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?

NPSS: Yup.

Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=

NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.

Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?

NPSS: Yup. Counting her.

Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]

NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]

Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?

NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]

NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.

Interviewer: What? Son? ==

NPSS: A very promising son.

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?

NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.

Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]

NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.

Interviewer: Does it taste good?

NPSS: Often get stomachaches.

Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)

NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70.

NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]

Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?

NPSS: 60.

Interviewer: …. (speechless)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.

Interviewer: I think so too.

NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.

Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==

Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?

NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…

Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?

NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.

Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?

NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]

Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]

NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.

Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]

(And the two are dozing off)

NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.

Interviewer: Ok…

(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)

~ End Interview

Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.

#dmbj #daomubiji #daomu biji #pingxie #interview #translation #the lost tomb #the lost tomb reboot #zhang qiling #wu xie #wang pangzi #ultimate note

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antisocial-af · 3 years

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Title: A Chance at Forever

Gift for: @brightasstars

Chapter: 1/2

Square Filled: Time Travel (For @shadowhunterbingo)

Raiting: T

Wordcount: 1355

No Major Archive Warnings

SFW, Angst with Happy Ending, Time Travel, Good Friend Ragnor and Catarina.

Summary:

Magnus receives the key to keeping his husband with him forever after a year of looking. But a misstep from the past has caused Magnus his forever. Or has it?...

Read on Ao3

Story:

Magnus looked over to his desk and sighed as the ingredient list taunted him. He snapped his fingers and refilled his wine glass. The frustration of past carelessness had closed another door for him. If he had stored his ingredients better, he wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Are you just going to glare at it?” A voice broke his spiraling thoughts. Magnus turned and looked at one of his closest friends and colleague, Ragnor.

“I messed up, my dear cabbage,” Magnus mumbled through the pain. “I ruined my only chance.”

Magnus observed as Ragnor moved to the apothecary’s desk and picked up the simple list.

“Cat came and delivered it this morning after Alexander left for work,” Magnus recalled, placing his glass down to join Ragnor. “I understand why now she knew I wouldn’t be able to retain one of the ingredients and didn’t want Alexander to see me upset.”

“One vial of Unseelie blood willingly given,” Ragnor read off with a gruff, and his face pinched in an annoyed fashion. “Where’d you even obtain such a thing?”

“After you almost got Will exiled for a bet, Tessa asked me to take him out instead of letting him run around wild with you,” Magnus smirked for a moment. “It was during one of the usual rounds that an Unseelie joined in. Everything was underground, so no one made a fuzz. If you had the stuff to bet, then they wouldn’t turn you away. I lost quite a few things because of this, but it wasn’t till the final round that it mattered. The Unseelie had put up a few rare items, but then when the pool got more interesting, they offered a vial of their blood for the last round. Back then, I just knew it was rare and could be used as an ingredient or a trade of something I needed.”

“What did you do with it?” Ragnor asked, setting the potion list down and crossing his arms.

“I put it in one of my safe houses, but during the Uprising, I had used that house as a sanctuary for Downworlders,” Magnus explained, running his hands over his face as he replayed the memories. “It was found and burnt down with everything inside by some of The Circle in the 90s.”

“It’s gone then,” Ragnor summarized and kept looking at Magnus. “Was that the last place it was at?”

“Yes, Ragnor, my only chance at forever with my husband was burnt to the ground,” Magnus bit back, trying to control his anger. He knew that Ragnor was not trying to provoke him. “I kept the vial stored in the St. Albans safe house. Valentine’s Shadowhunters demolished it in 1990. At the time, I didn’t think anything of the loss. Just things happen, oh well. I didn’t have a plan for it.”

“So say in 1989 in May it would still be there?” Ragnor asked as he started to undo the cuffs on his coat and roll them up.

Magnus squinted at his friend and started to feel Ragnor’s magic pulling itself together.

“Yes, it was undisturbed before The Uprising,” Magnus cautiously answered as he started to grow concerned at the vast amount of energy Ragnor began to siphon from the ley lines. “Ragnor?”

“What I am about to do will never be replicated or spoken of again,” Ragnor sternly stated as he held Magnus’ gaze. “Do you understand, Magnus?”

“What exactly are you doing?” Magnus questioned while still trying to keep his composure. “Ragnor, you are going to set off the Institute’s alarms if you keep pulling!”

“I’m sure your husband will cover for us once you give him the immortality potion,” Ragnor waved off as he closed his eyes and tried to center himself. “You above most know of my fascination with dimensional travel, and while researching those theories, I stumbled onto a warlock’s abandoned work.”

“That’s great and all, Ragnor, but what does it have to do with this moment at all?” Magnus pushed as he started to get worried. He heard his phone go off on the desk and knew it must be Alexander with questions.

“I finished the work. It was complicated, and it took three decades, but I was able to complete the time travel spell. It will only allow you an hour max; the magic is too volatile for me to stabilize any longer than that. If you stay longer, I can’t guarantee that I will be able to pull you back to the present. I don’t know what will happen if you do end up getting stuck in the past, though,” Ragnor kept going as he snapped his fingers and summoned his supplies.

“Wh-,” Magnus was trying his best to keep up with him, but he still didn’t understand anything Ragnor was saying. “Ragnor, are you okay? Did you hit your head? Time travel spell?”

“There it is set!” Ragnor declared as he finished the intricate circle on the apothecary’s floor.

Magnus looked down and noticed it was a stabilizing circle. Usually, younger warlocks used this the first few times they tried summoning spells or any high-class spell.

“Keep up, Magnus,” Ragnor sighed and pulled Magnus towards the middle of the circle. “Just need you to stand here, and I can send you back. Remember only an hour.”

“Send me back?! What do you mean, Ragnor?” the slight agitation in Magnus’ voice was growing with every pull from his friend.

Ragnor stopped and looked at Magnus straight on with a determined demeanor. “I can send you back to get your ingredient, my friend. I can give you a chance at forever.”

Magnus gulped but nodded. He didn’t know if Ragnor could actually send him back, but if he could, Magnus would have the last piece to keep his happiness for a long time.

“I trust you, Ragnor,” Magnus nodded and stepped into the circle.

“Of course you do! Who else has smuggled you out of 3 countries cause you partied yourself into felonies and jail time?” Ragnor teased as he started to push his magic to force the portal.

“Hey, I only remember 2!” Magnus protested, watching the unstable-looking tear starting to form.

“Remember is the keyword in your statement,” Ragnor chuckled and pressed the last of his magic into place. “Just like a normal portal, you need to think of the place you are going, but you also need to think about the time period of the place. It works off intent; if you aren’t clear, I don’t know what will happen.”

“Why do I feel like you are also using me as an experiment as much as you are doing me a favor?” Magnus grumbled and closed his eyes. He tried to remember the rose bushes he had planted outside.

“Magnus, listen, if it weren’t you, I wouldn’t be offering to use this magic.” Ragnor sighed as he activated the stabilizing circle. “It is extremely taxing and can leave me drained for a month.”

“Then why!?” Magnus asked, shocked and fingers already inching for his cellphone to call Catarina.

“Because Magnus, if anyone deserves a do-over, it’s you.”

Magnus held Ragnor’s gaze and gulped at the weight of his best friend’s actions. “Thank you.”

“Just get in the middle and hurry. I wasn’t kidding when I said that this would take most of my magic for a while, and I can already feel it consuming it,” Ragnor grunted as he watched the portal finally stabilize enough for entry. “Go.”

Magnus nodded and readied himself. He would go in, get the vial, and back through. He knew the layout intimately, and he could maneuver it blackout drunk. Hell, he might’ve done it a few times.

“MAGNUS!?”

Magnus turned around to see his husband before cursing as he tripped and fell head-first into the open portal. Magnus focused on his destination and felt a set of familiar arms wrap around him tightly as the portal’s magic started to push them through to the other side. The warlock held a firm grip and wrapped his magic around his Shadowhunter to protect them from being separated on the journey.

#antisocialaf #shadowhunterbingo #shbingo #malec fanfiction #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #Ragnor Fell

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kgyeomiex · 3 years

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Chinese Drama List

I am here with a new list. I am still watching K-Dramas but I recently got into Chinese dramas... If you guys know any that I must watch, SEND IT MY WAY. I AM OPEN TO EVERYTHING.

Chinese Drama List:

The Flame’s Daughter: (First Episode:) March 1, 2018 (Final Episode:) April 6, 2018 (52 Episodes)

Genres: Historical, Romance, Wuxia, drama

My opinion: This is the first show I have ever watched where YOU HAD TO WAIT FOR SOMETHING GOOD TO HAPPEN. What I mean is one bad thing happens, then it continues and continues and you start to lose hope that ANYTHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN. I got so mad at this show but for some odd reason, I couldn’t stop watching it. I don’t know if it had to do with the fact that I was curious about how things were going to end... OR because of the attractive characters... like Lei Jinghong and Zhan Feng... ANYWAYS THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT. Honestly, I would recommend watching the show but I will warn you that there are some cringe scenes (not as bad as k-dramas) and THIS SHOW WILL GET YOU MAD and maybe lost hope for a happy ending...

My Rating: 8.5/10 (took points off because it pissed me off)

Summary: Lie Ru Ge is the daughter of the master of Lie Huo Manor which is the most powerful jiang hu sect. She is a cheerful beauty who’s trying to regain her eldest senior’s heart after he suddenly goes back on his promise to marry her. In an effort to learn how to attract her beloved again, she goes to the most popular brothel house where she meets Yin Xue, the brothel owner and “Number One Beauty”. Little does she know, Yin Xue has a mysterious past that involves her and will go to the ends of the earth to protect her

The Untamed: (First Episode:) June 27, 2019 (Last Episode:) August 7, 2019 (50 Episodes)

Genres: Action, Adventure, Historical, Mystery, Fantasy, Wuxia

My Opinion: THIS IS A MASTERPIECE. First I would like to say I LOVE THIS SHOW. Honestly, if anyone asks me what’s my favorite show this will have to be up there. I fell in love with the characters. I swear I don’t think I could ever see anyone else play Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji better than Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan. They did amazing and although the two main characters don’t exactly say they like one another, their chemistry is amazing. Like there is so much that I want to say but I am scared that I will spoil it for the ones who haven’t seen this drama. All I want to say is if you like fighting, a love story and drama well this is a perfect one for you. If you watch this, let me know what you think because I guarantee you will get hooked. My older sister recommended this drama to my friends and I and that was it, we all grew this love for this drama... I am telling you, please watch this, you won’t regret it. (By the way this drama is a boys love drama however there isn’t any intimacy due to Chinese censorship)

My Rating: 100/10

Summary: Wei Wu Xian and Lan Wang Ji, two talented disciples of respectable clans, meet during cultivation training and accidentally discover a secret carefully hidden for many years. Taking on the legacy of their ancestors, they decide to rid the world of the ominous threat, but in a dramatic turn of events, Wei Wu Xian dies. Sixteen years later, Wei Wu Xian is brought back to life through a self-sacrificing ritual. He conceals himself behind a mask and assumes the identity of his summoner. Soon Wei Wu Xian reunites with Lan Wang Ji, and the pair starts working together to solve the mysteries of the present and unravel the truth behind the events of the past.

Ashes of Love: (First Episode:) August 2, 2018 (Last Episode:) September 4, 2018 (63 Episodes)

Genres: Historical, Romance, Wuxia, Fantasy

My Opinion: DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. First I want to say I absolutely love this show. I love everything about it. I love the romance, I love the story plot, I love the chemistry of the main characters, I love the soundtrack, I love the drama... I just love everything about this show. I don’t know personally I am the type of person who is into angst storylines. I think I should mention that. If you’re the type of person who is not into storylines that involve a lot of tragic events this is not the show for you. Although there will be cute events, it’s like a roller coaster... It goes up and up and you think everything will be fine and BOOM YOU’RE GOING DOWN... and next thing you know you’re holding a box of tissues wiping your tears away. I think what really captivates me about liking this show is the fact that although their acting (obviously) you can really feel their emotion when something happens. Like they just did one hell of a job with this show. OH AND ALSO if you have watched this show and you claim that Jin Mi should have been with Run Yu instead of the Phoenix I DO NOT AGREE. But let me not get started before I spoil everything... PLEASE TAKE A CHANCE TO WATCH THIS YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

My rating: 10000/10

Summary: Four thousand years ago, when Jin Mi was born, her fate was already sealed. She is to be a prisoner in Shui Jing. Mi's mother Zi Fen, a flower deity, abandons her for the afterlife. Near death, Fen feeds her infant daughter the ‘unfeeling pill’ and orders her subordinates to keep her identity a secret from Mi. Four thousand years later, Xu Feng, the second son of the Heavenly King and fire deity, is caught in an enemy trap, leading him to Shui Jing, where Mi comes to his rescue. Over the following century, these fated souls find comfort in one another.

Love and Destiny: (First Episode:) July 15, 2019 (Last Episode:) August 16, 2019 (60 Episodes)

Genres: Historical, Romance, Wuxia, Fantasy

My Opinion: This drama was cute. Okay, you know what no I shouldn’t even say that because this drama had me go on a roller coaster ride... But then again anytime I watch any wuxia I always have moments where I'm happy, sad, and then ready to jump on the screen and fight someone. Jesus the main character goes through so much. Like, damn girl even in the last episode... But this show kind of resembled Ashes of Love, just a little bit I think that’s why I enjoyed it. The only thing that I hate is that the evil character always tends to live longer than they should. Cross that sometimes they never die like in this case, I swear the evil people did not die, and I'm like WHY?! I don’t know man I mean I could say so much but I will keep it short and simple. WATCH IT :)

My Ratings: 9/10

Summary: A love story between the God of War and a young maiden whose very existence can bring harm to the world. Fifty thousand years ago, Jiu Chen, known as the god of war, fell into a deep slumber after sealing away the demon lord. Ling Xi accidentally wakes him from his sleep and they fall in love. It is discovered that Ling Xi was born with an evil miasma that can help the demon lord break free and allow the demon tribe to rise to power. Jiu Chen refuses to kill an innocent and tries to change Ling Xi's fate. Through the encouragement of Jiu Chen, Ling Xi who was once innocent and naive transforms into a brave leader in a fight against evil.

Scarlet Heart: (First Episode:) September 10, 2011 (Last Episode:) September 29, 2011 (35 Episodes)

Genres: Historical, Romance, Drama, Political

My Opinion: So before watching this I have previously watched Moonlovers: Scarlet heart the Korean version and loved it. I was then told that it was based on this drama and a girl just had to check it out. After watching these two dramas I would necessarily say I have a preference for one over the other... I mean to be fair the Korean one had its perks and so did this one. Personally this drama I felt like the chemistry and relationships among the characters felt much more personal than in the Korean one. I felt like they had great chemistry and I could see the genuine love and friendship among the characters. If you watched the Korean version I would recommend watching this one. Or if you haven’t watched the Korean one, watch this one first...

My rating: 8.4/10

Summary: A car accident sends Zhang Xiao back in time into the body of one of her previous reincarnations, a 16-year-old aristocratic Manchu girl, Maertai Ruoxi, who lived during the Qing Dynasty. Despite knowing that she shouldn’t get involved in palace intrigue over the succession to the throne, Ruoxi became a pawn in the struggle, since she couldn’t help but love someone, as others came to love her.

The Long Ballad: (First Episode:) March 31, 2021 (Last Episode:) May 3, 2021 (49 Episodes)

Genres: Actions, Historical, Romance, War

My Opinion: There is a lot I can say about this show but I will try my hardest to keep it as vague as possible. I don’t want to be responsible for any spoiler alert. The first thing I would like to say is I personally enjoyed the show. I definitely sense the chemistry between the two main characters however there is one thing that did bother me... That is the lack of any romantic gesture. I think at most all he does is hug her and tell her I want to marry you... AND THEN THE SCENE WHEN THEY “KISSED” DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. I personally would have loved to see a lot more potential scenes between those two but whatever. Another thing I would like to say is there is an episode that literally made me cry. My sister tried to warn me and I thought how bad can it be... next thing I knew I was bawling my eyes out like a little kid... YEAH, so I think it’s safe to say YOU WILL CRY if you have a heart of course. Ummm the last thing I would like to address is the ending was a bit disappointing. The ending felt completely rushed and it could have had far more episodes but whatever I guess... But overall I think everyone should stop and watch this show or add it to your list, you won’t regret it.

My rating: 8.5/10

Summary: The year is 626 C.E, and the realm and its political center Chang’an, are shaken to its core by the Xuanwu Gate Incident, a successful palace coup to take charge of the Tang Dynasty. A scheming prince leads the bloody coup and kills the family of Li Chang Ge during the raid, although she manages to escape. Now the prince has placed himself on the Imperial throne, and rules as Emperor Tai Zong. Li Chang Ge has her mind firmly set on revenge – and musters a powerful army intent on overthrowing the new Emperor. But her plans are thrown into disarray when she suffers an unexpected defeat against the armies of the Eastern Turkic Khaganate. The victorious General, Ashile Sun, decides to keep her in his service, making her his military strategist as he looks to pursue his own military goals. The duo forms a formidable military partnership. And over time, she finds herself falling for her captor – as he also starts developing feelings for her.

Scarlet Heart Season 2: (First Episode:) April 22, 2014 (Last Episode:) May 6, 2014 (39 Episodes)

Genres: Romance, Drama

My Opinion: Listen with all due respect, THIS SEASON WAS TRASH. Okay, hear me out... Before I watched this show I watched Moonlovers the Korean version and instantly fell in love. After watching it I always told myself how can they leave such a cliffhanger like this to an amazing show. Then when I discovered that Scarlet Heart was the original show I took my chances and took the time to watch it. The first season wasn’t bad, if anything I enjoyed myself watching it. Then I later discovered that this show had a second season and I got so happy because I thought YAY I was finally going to get the happy ever after finale Moonlovers didn’t get... GUESS WHAT! JOKES ON ME. Listen anyone who watches the first season... Please save your time and don’t bother watching the second season. It was so pointless. It was poorly written, in the end, they didn’t incorporate the fact that the two met in the past life and it was just from one bad event to the next. Like it was just a disaster and honestly don't even get me started with the ending. LMAO the ending was a complete joke. Like honestly I was so dumbfounded at how bad the ending was. Don’t even get me started on that... I am going to end it here before I give out spoilers... JUST DONT WATCH IT. TRUST ME I AM DOING YALL A FAVOR.

My Rating: 3/10

Summary: Zhang Xiao is a Southerner who moved to Beijing to work as an OL, with dreams of romance and a stable job. By coincidence, she gets a job at a conglomerate ‘Zhen Tian'. Like all newbies, she’s bullied and stepped on, and the saving grace is her boss, Yin Zheng. As she gets the hang of it, she and Yin Zheng develop mutual feelings for each other when a gentle, considerate guy Kang Xi Hang steps into Zhang’s world. Yin Zheng and Kang Xi Hang are both forerunners to be next in line to inherit the firm. Zhang is twirled into the eye of the corporate battles. After twists and turns, Zhang finally realizes where her heart is and bravely chooses to spend her future with her true love

To be Continued

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niksixx · 4 years

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Patience

~Part 2. Please read part 1 first~

Pairing: Axl Rose/Vince Neil x Female Reader

A/N: Keep up those comments. It motivates me!

*Picture is not mine; Found on Google. Creds to the owner*

Tag list: @littlemisscare-all @ginny-baker-sixx @metalheartofgold @madamsixx @curly-hudson @headlight-queen @julessworldd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At twenty-seven years old, you had finally managed to piece your life together. Although your small business was just beginning and wasn’t generating as much money as you would have liked, you were happy.

Baking was a hobby that you turned into a full time job. While the process could be long, you never found it tedious. Every measurement, every smell, every pastry decoration and design, was satisfying. And by the reviews from your customers, they were impressed by your craft. They say if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Just as you check the clock on the wall above the shop door, a loud growl sounds from your lower belly. Glancing down at your stomach, you shake your head and chuckle, grabbing your wallet and keys to lock up the store. It is a slow day, and usually you bring lunch to work, but closing the shop for an hour won’t hurt. You’d only had four customers since opening at nine.

As you walk down the strip, you glance at all the different shops that once started out at the bottom, smiling as hope fills your heart. Plenty of the stores started out as tiny businesses, now flourishing. There was never a doubt in your mind that your store, your pride and joy, would succeed.

The smell of pork fried rice hits your nostrils as you push open the doors to a nearby Chinese restaurant. Behind the counter you spot Lei, one of the first friends to welcome you to LA years ago.

Lei’s eyebrows crinkle. “I thought you were working today! How are you?”

“Well for one, I’m starving,” you say, patting your stomach. “And two, I am. I closed up for an hour just so I could come and see you!”

Lei rolls her eyes as she punches buttons on the register, already ringing up your order from memory. “Papa! I need an order of sweet and sour pork over white rice and a spring roll to go, please. You know what? Make that two spring rolls, it’s for Y/N!” Lei shouts, turning back with a sneaky grin. “Free of charge just because I love you.”

Tipping generously, you sit by a table and wait for your order. Lei’s family owns the restaurant, one of the most well known on the Strip. You frequent her business as she did with yours, always making sure to buy a slice of red velvet cake each week. A day ago, she’d put in an order for fifty cupcakes for her son’s ninth birthday party that weekend, which reminded you to check the cabinets at your home for all the proper ingredients.

A vibration rumbles in your purse and you retrieve your phone, holding it to your ear. You weren’t expecting a call.

“Hello?”

“I need another bottle of Jack.”

The sound of your boyfriend’s slurred voice had you frowning. On the other end of the line, Vince Neil sits in the recording studio, half empty bottle of whiskey in his lap while Tommy Lee aimlessly toys around with his drum set, cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“Hi, babe. Are you still in the studio?” Lei makes a gesture with a take out bag, and you give her a nod, rising to your feet while cradling the phone between your ear and shoulder.

“Yeah, Doc gave us a ten minute break so I figured I’d call you. Did you hear me? I need another bottle of Jack. I’m almost done with the one I took this morning.”

“Wait, what?” You ask, forehead creasing. The man was building up his tolerance day by day, slowly but surely killing his liver. “Vince, that was a brand new bottle. I just bought that yesterday.”

“And it’s almost finished,” Vince remarks, rolling his eyes. “Just pick up another bottle on your way home.”

“Vin, you need to watch,” You warn, shaking your head. The last thing you needed was your boyfriend spiraling out of control like his heroin addicted bandmate, Nikki Sixx.

“I’m fine, stop worrying. I don’t need you pissing me off before I get back in the studio,” he spits back. “Just get the bottle.”

Sighing, you mouth a thank you to Lei before heading toward the door. “You know, the word please goes a long way--.”

The phone crashes against the tile floor as you collide with the door, or something that feels just as hard. Blinking to clear the stars from your eyes, your breath hitches in the back of your throat, lips going dry. Long, shiny red hair is the first thing that catches your eyes, followed by a pair of thin pink lips that look downright sinful, and soft gray eyes that hold a familiar warmth in them. The figure stares back at you, equally as stunned, unflinching as his hand holds open the door.

When you find your voice, it’s weak, just like your knees. “Axl?”

“Hey sugar,” his mouth quirks, and you blink again, positive that you’re hallucinating. There’s no way your old best friend is staring at you right now. It can’t be real. “Long time no see, huh? I see you’re still clumsy as ever.”

A hand covers your mouth and for a split second, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to cry. It doesn’t stay, and is soon replaced by sheer amazement. “Oh my God!” You throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking him off balance. Axl beams, catching you in his embrace, squeezing you against his chest. “I thought I was dreaming!”

His laugh is light and airy as he sets you on the ground, readjusting the bandana that keeps his hair off his face. “How have you been?”

Any feelings of irritation brought on by the lack of customers in your store and your pushy, intoxicated boyfriend fly right out the window. “Well, I was having a pretty crappy day, but I think you just made it ten times better,” you say, shaking your head in astonishment, bending down to retrieve your phone. Vince yells on the other line, but you quickly hang up before stuffing it back in your purse.

You give him another look, and his smile captures your breath, holding it hostage. It’s him. It’s really him. “My gosh, look at you. You are definitely not an eighteen year old boy anymore, Axl Rose.”

You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he’d become. He was taller now, and had thinned out. Pale skin was littered in tattoos, giving him the edge he lacked in high school, from what you can remember. A face that was once hard and rigid, now gentle, just like his eyes.

“I’d hope not,” he says lightly, cocking his head to the side. His eyes trail over your body, slowly. “Twenty five has been good to me, and it appears twenty-seven has been kind to you.”

“I’ll say,” you breathe, drawn to his playful grin. The boy that never liked to show his teeth turned into a man that couldn’t stop smiling. “Are you stopping in for lunch?”

“I am,” he nods, noticing your take out bag. “Do you want to have lunch together? Are you busy?”

You shake your head quickly, eager to spend time with an old friend. “Nope! Slow day at work today, unfortunately. And besides, I’ll never be too busy to have lunch with you.”

~~~

A huge smile spreads across Axl’s face when you unlock the door to your bakery shop. The colors, the decorations, were all so inviting. Before bumping into you, he’d always pondered about what you were doing with your life. You’d turned yourself into a business owner, and as Axl glanced around the store, he felt a sense of pride wash over his bones. The woman he loved continued to amaze him.

“This is incredible, Y/N,” he says, nodding in approval, dragging his fingers over a metal chair situated at a circular pastel purple table. “So, how long did it take your indecisive ass to figure out what you wanted to do with your life?” He teases, fake pouting when you push his shoulder. After all these years, you were still so comfortable around each other. Maybe it would be easy to win your heart after all.

“Hey, I wanted to make sure that whatever I planned on doing for the rest of my life would make me happy,” you argue, setting your food down on the counter. Axl stands on the other side of the counter, aimlessly toying with his chopsticks.

“Are you?” He questions in a serious tone, waiting for your answer.

“Always,” you reply with a smile.

It doesn’t reach your eyes.

And Axl notices.

~~~

Hours pass by, with only a few customers straggling in and out of your shop. You’d only sold a few pastries, but you plastered on a smile to hide the pit of devastation that had formed in your heart. It’s five-thirty, and you’ll give it another half hour before you lock it up, hoping someone else would notice your shop and drop by.

“So, Guns N’ Roses, huh?” After spending hours discussing your new life in California, the conversation turns to Axl. You want to know everything about him, everything you’ve missed the last seven years. Everything you couldn’t be a part of.

He nods, taking a sip from his water bottle. “I still can’t believe we made it.”

“There’s five of you, right?”

He nods again. “Yes ma’am. I’d like you to meet them sometime when you’re not busy. They’d love you. Especially Steven, probably a little too much,” he winks, keeping the atmosphere light. “I’ll tell him to keep the flirting minimal, only because that’s my job.”

Cheeks warm, you gather your trash and head to the bin in the front of the store, avoiding Axl’s lingering gaze. He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t know. No one did. “I’d love to, but that’s probably not the best idea.”

“How come?”

Biting your lip, you lean your elbows on the glass counter, clasping your fingers together. “My um...my boyfriend...he’s not a big Guns N’ Roses fan. He won’t even let me listen to your music. Probably would kill me if I ever did.”

Axl’s heart sinks. Let you? What the fuck? “Who’s your boyfriend?”

It’s not the answer he wants to hear. In fact, Axl’s face hardens when the name comes out of your mouth. “Vince Neil. I’m sure you’ve heard of him,” you say with a wave of your hand. You weren’t in the mood to talk about your boyfriend, especially to your male best friend. Men didn’t like to talk about other men.

“Time out,” Axl says in annoyance. You want him to drop the conversation, but he presses on. “You’re dating Vince? You had your choice out of all those Mötley Crüe bastards, and you went with Vince? How--How did I not know about this?”

You shrug, biting the corner of your mouth. Cat’s out of the bag, might as well keep going. “No one does. I stay out of the spotlight. Vince has an image to keep up, you know? The player. The bad boy. It’s entertaining. A girlfriend ruins that. You’d think the label would want to contain him, but quite the opposite, actually.”

The floor sways beneath his feet as the words process in his head. If Axl knew anything about the pompous blonde asshole, then he knew you weren’t being treated right. “How long have you been together?”

You contemplate telling the truth, but if you didn’t, he’d pull it out of you. Sighing, you lean your forehead against your hands, mumbling, “Three years.”

His legs almost give out. Three years of hiding. Three years of pretending. Three years of wasted fucking time with a man that didn’t deserve you. Three years with his competition, his enemy.

“I knew you were in a band, Axl. Although I haven’t listened to any of your songs, I’ve heard your name on the radio, seen you at award ceremonies when I watched from home. And I...I wanted to reach out. I just didn’t know where to find you. Vince doesn’t even know that you and I grew up together. I’m too scared to tell him. It would just give him another reason to hate you.”

“And you don’t think you deserve better than that?” Axl asks, mouth twisting in anger. “Because I know you do.”

“Well…”

The door to the shop slams against the wall, and in stumbles a visibly inebriated Vince Neil. His blonde hair is stringy, matted against the side of his head, and the stench of alcohol fills your nostrils, lingering on his spiked leather vest. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels occupies one hand, while the keys to his car dangle in the other.

Eyes blazing, you step out from behind the counter. “Vince, what the hell? You drove here? Drunk?!” The evidence was in his hands, but you refused to believe your boyfriend could have done something so wild, so reckless.

“You...y-you didn’t come home with the...with the booze,” he slurs, throwing the empty bottle in the trash bin. He trips forward, reaching out to steady himself on the purple table. “I was scared something ha-happened.”

“Something did happen, Vince! You could’ve killed someone!” You scream, tears blurring your vision as you fight back the urge to shake some sense into his body. How could he have been so careless? So selfish? “You could have fucking died!”

“Don’t raise your fucking voice--,” And Vince’s eyes go black when he sees Axl standing behind you, stonefaced, hands shoved in pockets. He doesn’t know why the redhead is here, with his girlfriend, but he doesn’t like it. “Rose.”

“Neil.”

Vince straightens, puffing out his chest. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Free country,” Axl retorts, eyes flickering to your face. The tears from your eyes are sliding down your cheeks. Even if he wants to bash Vince’s perfectly symmetrical face in, he holds back, not wanting to scare you. “And I was just leaving.”

“Axl, wait, no you don’t have to go.” You plead, grasping his wrist, voice thick with emotion. You didn’t want him to leave, not after you’d just gotten him back again.

“Yes, he does,” Vince says, more sober than he was a minute ago. Loosening his grip on the table, he toddles over, prying your hand from Axl’s wrist. Axl’s teeth clench, and his fists ball together in an attempt to keep the anger at bay.

“You’ll be going now,” Vince glares. “That’s not a request, either. I’m taking a piss, and by the time I come out, you’d better be gone.” He stalks off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

In a panic, you snatch a sharpie from the pencil holder on the counter, uncapping it with your mouth, before grabbing Axl’s wrist, scribbling digits quickly but legibly.

“What are you doing?” His voice is a hushed whisper as he tries to decipher the numbers.

“My phone number, my address.” you answer back, signaling to each one. Grabbing a piece of paper from your notepad, you quickly scrawl out Axl’s phone number and apartment address, stuffing it into your purse. He nods before pulling you in for a hug. “I want to see you again, Axl. It’s been too long.”

And he would see you again. There was no way, no way, that Axl would let anything come between you.

138 notes · View notes

n-ctarinenga · 4 years

Text

Best Friend [ luke hemmings ]

surfer!luke au | pt.1 | word count: 5,222 | masterlist

If anyone had been your bestest friend in your life so far, it was definitely Luke Hemmings.

Since day one, when you ran into him looking at skateboards in your friend's store not far from Venice Beach, you've been somehow cosmically tethered to him.

What started out as an offer to help him pick a board and learn to skate, him telling you he's always been more of a surfer than a skater, soon turned into hanging out without your respective boards, going to shows together, being at the same parties, both of you being on your friend Michael's exclusive dinner party guest list, basically, you guys hit it off.

After hanging out with Luke more over time, you learned that he had moved to California after dropping out of university in Sydney, not happy with the path he could see his life was on and following his passions instead, which led him to the same place it led you when you left your hometown, California.

You had been one of the first true friends Luke had made after his big move, and even though you told him to lay off, he would often remind you that you were the one to help him settle into the life he has now, your friend group quickly adopting him not long before he ending up running the surf section of your friend's shop that you'd met him in all those years ago.

It started out like any normal day for you, getting up, getting ready, and heading to your job at the cafe you'd been working at for a few years now. It didn't take you long to make friends, evident by the way people greeted you like an old friend as they came in for their morning coffees or lunch break meals. You were a generally sociable person, and enjoyed the daily interaction with the regulars and new customers that would come through the doors.

It was just a little after the lunch time rush that Luke came strolling in the door, knowing well how busy you would be at the peak of rush hour.

"Afternoon handsome, what can I getcha?" You ask with a grin, leaning forward and putting your elbows on the counter to prop your head up on your fists as you looked to him.

Luke lets out a laugh as he copies your pose, him having to bend down a lot more because of his height, the small space of the counter meaning you were pretty much face to face with him.

"Coffee and a apple cinnamon muffin please, knucklehead." He responds, his accent all over the place as normal.

You give a nod and slap the counter as you push yourself up, walking to the espresso machine on the bench behind you.

"Michael came in today." Luke announces, still leaning on the counter.

"How is he?" You ask, scraping off the coffee grounds to make it level and putting it in to brew before turning back around to see him.

"Good, we've got dinner with him on Friday."

You raise your eyebrows with a nod, pleased at the news.

It wasn't unusual for you or Luke to make plans involving the other without them there, your friends joking you've been a package deal as long as you've known each other. Besides, how could you be upset considering Michael's food was involved?

"What's the theme this time?" You ask curiously.

Since Michael had become an apprentice chef at a local restaurant, he had been hosting dinner parties for his friends every couple weeks, his vegan cooking some of the best you'd ever had. To spice things up a bit, he started giving each night a theme, everyone showing up dressed in costumes to fit. It was one of your favorite nights of the week when it came around, and you were already excited at the thought of this Friday.

"Pina Colada, the song. Apparently dress code is hawiian shirts and lei's at the door." He says with a laugh.

You hold your tongue as you put the lid on his coffee, placing it on the counter in front of him.

"Go on, say it, I know you wanna." He sighs with a smile on his face.

"So are you looking forward to finally getting lei'd?" You ask with a sly smile on your face as you grab the apple cinnamon muffin from under the glass cover beside the till.

He groans dramatically, but his grin still covers his face. For the whole time you'd known Luke, while he had been on a couple dates here and there during your friendship, he hadn't been in an actual relationship since you met. Neither had you, the reason unknown to him, but it did mean you would casually poke fun at each other because of it.

"You're really on fire today y/n/n." You roll your eyes as you hand Luke his muffin and coffee, ringing up his order.

"You try getting sleep while Calum and a special guest is in the next room." You say with a raised eyebrow.

Getting what you mean, Luke laughs, putting his hand on your shoulder and giving it a supportive squeeze.

"You're a stronger person than I am. But if you do want a break, my door is always open."

You smile at him, letting out a light sigh as you pat his hand, thankful for his offer.

"I appreciate it. Now go get back to work before Sierra kicks your ass." You smirk, referring to your other best friend, and his boss.

"See ya later, sweetheart." He says with a wink, picking up his food and walking towards the door.

"Will do, darlin'." You smile.

Feeling her presence behind you, you roll your eyes as you can practically already hear her comment.

"You guys are cute together." Ali, your workmate and committed work wife says as she returns from her own lunch break.

"Ma'am." You say in a warning tone, and she brushes you off with a light laugh.

"What? I'm right."

"Yeah, you are." You think to yourself.

With Ali back, you busy yourself grabbing a muffin, before you turn to walk out back and take your own lunch break.

After replying to texts and watching too many tiktoks while you ate, you went back out front until closing, where Ali offered to shut up shop so you could get home a little earlier since she lived closer than you did.

After thanking her so many times she broke and finally told you to fuck off, you offered to return the favour whenever she needed it and made your way back to the apartment you shared with Calum.

Calum was like a brother to you. Him being a year older and around you basically since you moved to California, as not only did you end up having the same friend circle, but his sister Mali was also your boss, being the owner of the cafe.

Sighing in relief as you pull your keys and lanyard out of your pocket, you unlock the door to your apartment and quickly regret it when you hear loud moans and banging coming from Calum's room yet again.

With a frown already set on your face, you refuse to put up with another night of disrupted sleep, putting your airpods in and turning them up before venturing down the hallway to your room.

Pulling one of your bigger bags from your closet, you set to work putting some things together in a makeshift overnight kit. Grabbing a couple outfits you could wear to work tomorrow depending on your mood and the weather, as well as all your other basic items, you write a post it note message for Cal, still being able to hear the sound of the action in his room over Awsten Knight loudly trying to drown it out.

"Safe sex or no sex, you two!!" You call out as you stick the note to his door.

You collect the last of what you'd need from the bathroom, before walking out and locking the front door again behind you.

The walk between your place and Luke's wasn't that bad, it's close proximity being one of the selling points to you when you and Calum were first looking for somewhere new after your last lease ended.

You already knew that Luke would be home at this time, him finishing an hour and a half before you and spending most of that time at the beach until it passed golden hour, which was just fading as you walked out of your apartment.

Climbing up the exterior steps that lead to his apartment unit, you could already see the light on through his window, his silhouette being framed for a moment as he walked past it letting you know he was home.

Readjusting the bag over your shoulder, you step onto the "welcome" doormat you brought him as a housewarming present, knocking twice, then once, then three times.

It only takes a second for you to hear his footsteps coming towards the door, and as he opens it, a smile appears on his face as he realises who it is.

"Hey stranger." He greets with a slight grin, but you could see he was slightly confused about why you'd shown up.

"Hey, do you ah, is that offer still on the table?"

Luke's face softens as he remembers what he told you earlier in the day, raising an eyebrow.

"He was at it again huh?" He asks, and when you nod, he shakes his head as he steps aside, letting you in.

"Of course the offer is open, but you are gonna have to help me cook dinner."

You smile as you look up at him while you pass through into his apartment.

"Sounds like a plan to me." You laugh happily, making yourself at home and dropping your bag at the end of the couch as you hear Luke shut the door behind you.

Turns out veggie stir-fry is on the menu for the night, one of your favorites. You both take a knife and chopping board each, chopping up ingredients and adding them to the fry pan before Luke takes it to the stove to get the garlic and onion started while you get going on the carrots and bok choy.

You and Luke move around each other easily, naturally. You'd been in his kitchen enough times to know where everything was, and even with music playing from the corner covering the sound of your movements, you both seemed to know where each was the whole time.

Taking a deep breath and inhaling the gorgeous scent of the cooking food, you lean up against the counter, crossing your arms casually and looking over to Luke.

He stood with spatula in hand, moving the food around while slightly swaying to the music. You felt a small smile come to your face, getting to admire him for a minute while he was distracted with the food in front of him.

There was a part of you that very much wanted to ignore and deny the warm feeling that would bloom in your chest around Luke, but an even bigger part of you that knew it was pointless to even try.

The feeling wasn't a stranger to you, in fact you'd been living with it nearly since the day you'd met him, even though it was a lot less back then, the seed was still planted.

But, you knew that the feeling would remain just that, a feeling. At this point in your life, you couldn't imagine what you'd do if you lost Luke. While yeah, he was your best friend, and you would regularly flirt with each other casually, there was still part of you scared that if you did let him in on the secret you hadn't told a soul, you would lose him completely. You knew the possibility of losing him was there no matter what, but you'd be damned if it was gonna be because of something you had done.

A change in song brings you back to reality, and your eyes snap to the ground, clearing your throat before speaking.

"So how have you been? We haven't caught up in a minute."

With summer fast approaching, this was peak season for Sierra's store, meaning you'd been missing out on both of your best friends lately to tourists and hobbyists coming out of hibernation.

Luke shrugs slightly, looking to you for a moment with a perplexed expression.

"It feels like we get busier every year, which I'm not complaining about at all, but it's just…. draining I guess." He sighs.

Frowning, you turn towards him more, waving slightly to let him know it's okay to keep going if he wants to.

"I end up missing things more than usual. Sleep mainly." He says with a hint of humor to his voice and a small smile on his face. "And the sea, and you, and the guys. All my favourites."

Never really being one to comfort with words, you place a supportive hand on his, as it rests on the counter beside the stove, propping him up as he stirred with the other hand. You let your thumb brush over the back of his hand, understanding exactly what he meant.

Luke smiles as he looks down, wordlessly moving his hand slightly so he can hold onto yours.

You ignore the way your heart skips a beat as you look up from your joined hands to his face, a kind smile on yours as you speak.

"We're not going anywhere hun. I know I won't be." You say softly, clearing your throat as you realise there's a small chance he could read into the last part of your sentence. "I'm pretty sure the sea isn't going anywhere either." You add on quickly.

Luke takes a deep breath, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he laughs, turning his attention back to the food as you slip your hand away from his.

"Yeah, good point."

You nod, holding your hands together in front of you and looking down at your socked feet against the tile of the kitchen floor.

"Hey, uh, can you grab some plates? I think we're nearly ready to go here." Luke asks casually, diffusing the tension you could feel had built in the room.

You agree with a nod, moving around the kitchen and collecting together what you'd need. While Luke dishes up, grabbing you both drinks as well, you grab some cutlery and place mats for the table, setting them out and helping Luke carry everything the couple feet journey from the kitchen to the table before sitting down, taking a quick picture of your combined efforts before picking up your fork.

You both dive into the meal, singing your praises to his cooking skills as you complement the food in front of you. You smile as you see Luke turn a slight shade of pink as you do.

Distracted by your conversation, your empty plates sit on the table beside you as Luke pokes fun at you for what happened on some random day you'd mostly forgotten, one where you both had ended up nearly getting your friend group kicked out of a club a few months ago.

You're both laughing as you recall the details when Luke's phone starts vibrating closer to the edge of the table, him quickly catching it before it can fall.

"Shit, I'm meant to be calling my mum in ten minutes." He frowns, mad at himself for losing track of time.

"Okay. You get set up, I'll do the dishes, you should be good to go in ten if you start now." You say, jumping into action and stacking the dishes as he looks up to you to protest.

"You don't have to do the dishes, I'll just stack them and get to them later." He fights, but quickly loses the battle when you point to him, then his laptop, silently instructing him to get going.

He looks at you defiantly before deeply sighing and getting up, grabbing his laptop and setting it up on the other side of the open plan room on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"You're too good to me." He sings while he does as he's told, you smiling to yourself as you run the water.

"Enjoy it while it lasts." You sing back.

The familiar chime of the Skype call ringtone emanates from the other side of the room, and you look over to see a bright grin covering Luke's face as the call connects.

Luke loved his family, and especially his mum. You knew he would still go through bouts of homesickness from missing them, which is why you knew any contact he did have with them was extremely important.

"Hey mum." Luke grins.

"Hi bub, how are you?" You hear his mum ask though the speakers.

You do your best to zone out of the conversation, wanting to give him privacy. Instead, you focus on the music still playing in the corner, though it's playing more softly than before.

Doing your best to stay quiet, your ears perk up as you hear your name from across the room.

Realizing it came through the speakers instead of from Luke, you fight your better judgment and try to eavesdrop, having no success when Luke starts to talk a lot quieter.

Why would Luke's mom ask about you? Sure you were best friends, but you didn't see yourself as that important.

Lost in your thoughts, you lose your grip on the plate in your hand, flinching as it drops back into the sink with a loud clattering noise.

"Are you okay?" Luke asks, bolting up with a concerned look on his face, ready to help in an instant.

Looking in the sink, you see the plate still fully intact and nod as you take a deep breath.

"Yeah it's all good, just lost my grip." You explain, giving him a thumbs up.

He examined you for a moment before sitting back down with his laptop, but instead of picking up where he left off, you hear his mom asking who that was, referring to you.

"Y/n is staying over, loud roommate issues." He explains with a slight laugh.

"Why are you hiding her?! I want to see the pretty girl I've heard so much about." You hear her reply, your cheeks growing pink as you do your best to smother a laugh at the light telling off he was getting.

Looking over to Luke, he raises his eyebrows at you, silently asking if you wanted to come over and say hi. Looking between him and the laptop, you silently mouth "you sure?" to him, receiving a small smile and a nod in return.

You dry your hands on a kitchen towel hanging on the oven door, nervously wringing your hands as you walk over to the couch, sitting down beside Luke and waving to the webcam.

"Hi Mrs. Hemmings, it's nice to finally kinda meet you." You smile as you laugh slightly.

"Nice to meet you too love! Luke's told me a lot about you, all good things I promise." She laughs lightly. Even through a screen, you could feel the warm nature of the woman who'd raised your best friend, though it did make sense his mom would be a sweetheart if he was.

"I'm glad to know I've made such an impact." You bump your elbow into Luke's arm, his head down as he laughs to himself, blonde hair falling over his face. "I promise Luke's done the same for you. I probably don't have to tell you how family proud he is."

His mom smiles, a sense of pride about her for a moment before she looks to the side of the screen where Luke would be.

"You wouldn't be able to tell with how he's trying to hide now." She teases, Luke shifting sideways so he's more in frame, your shoulders and knees now touching.

"I thought mums had to be nice to their kids in front of their friends?" He asks with squinted eyes.

"I don't remember that being a rule. Besides, you don't have the same accent I remember my son having so I'd say it's fair game."

"That's because I spend too much time with this one." Luke says, nodding his head towards you.

"Excuse me?" You say with a raised eyebrow. Luke just smiles at you, his teasing having the desired effect. You don't manage to hold onto your hard exterior for long, cracking and smiling back at him.

Liz laughs at the two of you, dispelling the moment as you both look back to her.

"Yeah we do spend a lot of time together." You say, Luke nodding in agreement as the three of you fall into easy conversation.

You end up staying for the whole video call, Liz asking you about your life, what you do, all the story details Luke had failed to tell her himself.

As you both say a lengthy goodbye, Luke promises to call Liz more between video calls, and you promise to keep an eye on him for her in the time in between those as well.

After closing his laptop, Luke leans back into the couch with a sigh.

"She likes you." He says quietly, looking over to you with soft eyes and a softer smile as you mimic his actions and lean back into the couch, turning your head to look at him.

"You think so?" You ask, just as quietly as he spoke.

He nods tiredly, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side, his hand squeezing your shoulder as your rest your head against his.

Ever since Luke had hit end on the call, you felt a wave of tiredness wash over you, which you half blamed on the time, and half on stressing yourself out trying to make a good impression.

You can feel yourself falling asleep as you sit there, feeling comforted and comfortable as your breathing turns shallower, the scent of salt water and cologne clouding the front of your mind.

"We should probably go to bed." You suggest, right as Luke covers his mouth with his spare hand as a yawn escapes him.

"Good idea." He agrees.

He gives your shoulder another squeeze before you both get up, him moving to get you a blanket and pillow and you moving to get something to sleep in out of your bag.

Tiredly digging through, your hands pass your work uniform, toiletries, and a sweater, but not one of your old t-shirts you normally slept in.

Seeing the annoyed look on your face, Luke frowns slightly as he returns to the room.

"What's up?"

You groan as you sit back on your legs, gesturing to your bag.

"All I packed was my uniform for tomorrow and a sweater in case I got cold. I was in too much of a rush to get out of there I guess and didn't pack a shirt to sleep in." You frown, mentally scolding yourself.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You can just borrow one of my shirts." He says with a light shrug, like it's the obvious answer to the issue.

"Are you sure?" You ask, and he nods, placing the pillows and blanket down on the end of the couch.

"I'll go grab one and you can get dressed in the bathroom while I change in my room, then it's all yours." He says, and before he walks off, you call him back.

"What do you mean all mine?" You ask.

"You can have my room for the night and I'll take the couch."

You raise your eyebrow, standing up and crossing your arms.

"If you think I'm making you sleep on your couch in your own house then you obviously don't know me."

Luke sighs, well aware of your stubborn nature and already knowing he's fighting a losing battle.

"You must not know me if you think I'm gonna let you sleep on the couch." He responds.

You stare each other down for a minute, both of you not backing down on your point until you relax your face and stance, picking up your toiletries bag and shrugging.

"Guess we're sharing a bed then. I'm gonna go brush my teeth." You say casually, leaving Luke standing in the doorway of his bedroom open mouthed in shock.

As you stared yourself down in the mirror while you brushed your teeth, your internal monologue was punching you in the face repeatedly.

There’s a huge difference between passing out on the same couch together and actively choosing to sleep in the same bed together, and it was only one of those things you’d done with Luke in the past. Sure, there had been times where you had slept in Calum’s or Sierra’s beds, but with Luke, it had never been something to come up.

You remind yourself that it doesn’t mean anything. You and Luke are both grown adults, two stubborn grown adults, but adults all the same. You weren’t strangers to each other by any stretch, so you couldn’t figure out why the plan you’d put upon yourself made your heart beat a million times faster.

Little did you know, Luke was doing the exact same thing in the room over. As soon as you had stepped out of the room, his hands started to sweat. He was nervous, more so than he had been in a long while.

That was the thing that scared Luke the most about you, apart from the fact he’d seen you take down a man twice your size after getting cat called on Pasific Ave, was the special type of nervous that you made him without even trying. He knew the reason why it happened, not that he was willing to admit it to you, or anyone else but Ashton and his mom for that matter.

How was he meant to spend the night in the same bed as the girl he’s in love with, let alone fall asleep at all?

Mentally slapping himself in the face to make himself move, he pulls one of his favorite t-shirts from his closet, knowing that not only did you like it, but it was also one of the most comfortable things he owned.

To someone who hadn’t known Luke a while, they would be surprised to know how organized he is, clothing and home always organized just as well as the boards and gear he overlooked in Sierra’s store.

You rinse the toothpaste out of the sink, taking a deep breath as you hear Luke’s footsteps come closer. He knocks first, opening the door slowly just in case after you tell him to come in.

“Here, to sleep in. I know you like Guns n Roses.” He says with a cheeky wink as he hands you the shirt.

You scoff lightly as you take it, it being a running joke between you how much you disliked Guns n Roses, while he counted them as one of the all time greats.

“Thanks, you really know me.” You grin as you roll your eyes, lightly pushing him out of the bathroom and closing the door.

You hold the shirt up in front of you, looking in the mirror to see the difference in size between you and your best friend. While it fit normally on Luke, you could see it would graze your upper thighs, your height not all that different from his.

Taking your clothes off, you fold and stack them into a pile by the sink while you change your underwear and pull Luke’s shirt over your head, the smell of cologne and salt water hitting you again as you inspect yourself in the mirror.

Even though you had your reservations about the design on the shirt, you couldn’t deny it was one of the most comfortable things you’d ever worn.

Gathering your stuff, you open the bathroom door and walk back to your bag by the couch. Moving your uniform for the morning to the top, you put your old clothes in the bottom of your bag, calling out to Luke who must be in his bedroom.

“Bathroom’s all yours.” You call, zipping your bag again as you sit down on the couch to pull on your socks.

It was more out of habit than anything else, and consideration for the person you shared a bed with, knowing your feet always get freezing cold at night.

Luke walks out of his bedroom dressed in sweatpants and a black undershirt, pausing when he sees you. You see him take a deep breath in as you stand up, setting your bag back at the end of the couch again.

"Alright hun?" You ask, frowning slightly in confusion as he seems rooted to the spot.

He shakes himself out of it, nodding quickly before ducking into the bathroom. You stay in your spot, still confused as ever til his head pops out the door.

"You can head to bed if you like, I'll be there soon."

You nod as the door shuts again, ignoring whatever just happened as you walk to his bedroom, smiling at the sight of the glow in the dark stars you put up around the head of his bed still there from well over a year ago.

Walking over to what you could tell was the lesser used side of the bed, telling by just the lamp on the bedside table instead of the books piled on the other, you pull the bedding back, sliding between the cold sheets and letting your head fall back onto the pillow.

You let out a low groan as your body sinks into the bed, comfort washing over you as it felt like your bones sank back into the right place again after your long day.

As Luke walks back to the room, you're still lightly groaning, making him laugh as he shuts off the overhead light, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.

"You okay there?" He questions, pulling back the bedding on his side and sliding in next to you.

"Your bed is so fucking comfortable."

Luke just laughs at you again, turning onto his side to look at you. You can feel him looking at you, so you decide to level the playing field and turn on your side too, your breath catching in your throat as you do when you realise your faces are now only inches away from each other.

You both just lay there, smiling softly as you unapologetically take in his features so close, the curve of his nose, his lips, the shade of his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Stop being cute.” He laughs, pulling your hair over your face.

"I will when you do too." You fire back.

Luke just slightly shakes his head, letting out a deep breath before leaning forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling back.

"Goodnight, y/n." He sighs, and as your heartbeat rings in your ears, you slowly lean forward, returning the soft kiss to his forehead.

"Goodnight Luke."

taglist: @spicycal @softbabiestan

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings imagine #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #surfer au #fanfic #imagine #blurb

193 notes · View notes

rainbowcaleb · 4 years

Text

Stardust

{thirty solar years ago}

Essek understood that what he was planning could be considered reckless endangerment, or it would be if it wasn’t him planning it. He’s attempted spells before that were adjacent in nature, even if not quite at the same strength, and he was certain he knew the theory precisely and accurately.

The only true lingering problem was one of components.

Essek needed stardust.

He had already poked around his own lab, in-disguise around town, and even sent a few coded messages to his less than above board contacts. In a fit of frustration he had re-read six tomes of arcana and triple checked his already-scrutinized spellwork. There was no getting around it. Meteorite shavings did not work, attempts with star ruby spell gems did nothing, even a mote of pure energized light was no replacement. The spell needed stardust, freshly collected and as close to alive as it could be. Essek was confident in his own power, and graviturgy was a delightful field of study, but he could not possibly be expected to yank down a star from the very sky just to use for a component?

Perhaps that’s why this particular magical feat had never been attempted before; it required a long life of patience to wait until a star fell your way, or the power to rearrange fate into a more favorable position.

Essek left the familiar space of his lab to head up to his observatory. If he had to pace fruitlessly while pondering this problem, he might as well have a more pleasing visual. He strode up his stairs to the highest point of his tower, stepping outside the lab space onto the narrow balcony that surrounded the top. From here he had a full view of the spread of the city beneath him, lamplights bright among the ever-darkness. Above him it was mirrored, distant pinpricks of stars scattered across the sky, twinkling in a frustratingly joyful way. Essek could be patient. He had centuries ahead of him, perhaps more. He gripped the edge of the banister, the cold metal sharp under his palms. He had not gotten to where he was now by waiting on something to randomly click into place. As he watched the slow turn of the interlooped rings that charted the ley lines of magic in the world, he knew what he had to do and how.

He pushed back inside his tower, raising his arm as he did so. One quick movement later and he pulled his spellbook from the air and into his hand. Essek felt he was stacking risk onto risk in his pursuit of this goal, but if he was correct (and many years of life had taught him he usually was) then with adding this spell he could trade centuries of waiting for mere decades.

He stepped into the middle of the room where the carved sigils and runes on the floor were most concentrated. A stripe of crushed agate here, a dusting of fossilized wood, bones of a mouse trapped in amber set in the middle, and then Essek stood above his little pile with a forked metal tool in hand. With a sharp burst of power, he struck his metal rod into the pile like a match and the components burst into flame. The bright red only lasted a split second before the flames rolled into yellow, pure white, and then into a simmering grey. Essek kept his hand to the illusory fire to ensure an even burn across the tool in his hand, clenching his teeth from the unsettling chill of the spell, until the last of the flames flickered out with a last dusty gasp.

He stood up straight, turning the rod over in his hands. The once-gold metal had burnished into an iridescent black that seemed to eat up the light in his room. He stepped out into the night air once again, keeping his eyes on the sky above. He raised the tool up, and without looking away from the stars on the horizon, he flicked the fork. Essek could feel the rod reverberate in his hand, but the sound was too high for even his ears to pick up on. He held the fork skyward until the very last of the tremors in the metal stopped.

Essek sighed. That was the easy part.

Now he had to wait.

{present day}

It had become a habit. Every day before meditating Essek would traverse the familiar steps up his tower, and up and up until he reached the highest point. He would step outside onto the balcony (now since widened for easier access) and walk a slow circle around his ever-swirling ley links to observe the night sky. He would hold his fork in his hand as he paced, hoping that tonight the rod would ring again.

At this point it had been three decades of waiting. And while Essek had grown accustomed and somewhat fond of his slow nightly stroll around his observatory, there was the smallest nagging voice that perhaps in the overconfidence of his youth he had performed the spell wrong.

He was beginning to believe those thoughts tonight. He continued his circular pace, the rod loose in his hand, and instead he started to ponder improvements, experiments, and another attempt….

Essek dropped the rod suddenly as he was utterly shaken from his thoughts. He picked it quickly back up, bringing it to eye level. Even if the trembling metal in his hand wasn’t confirmation enough, he could see that the fork element of the rod was ringing, and the glossy black surface seemed to shift and warp.

A star was nearby.

He scanned the horizon quickly. It was possible he was distracted, or facing the wrong way, and had missed the telltale streak of light. But the fork would tell him, it would point him the right way. Essek floated down his stairs, opting to put on an illusion disguise rather than wasting any time with his mantle as he rushed out his door. The rod was singing under his hand, the metal growing warmer as it rang. Some force of power was pulling him down this path, guiding his movements left, right, right again, as he hurried through the city. He felt magnetized and the fork was yanking him towards the very thing he sought. The missing piece of his spell. The final piece.

In a matter of minutes he was outside of the Lucid Bastion. Essek knew in his disguise he would not be let past the guards, he would have to switch to Shadowhand Thelyss if he wanted to venture in. It wasn’t that unusual for the Shadowhand to arrive at the Bastion very late or very early, depending on what work needed to be done. The magnetic pull of his path was almost forcing his hand out in front of him, so Essek snapped his generic drow disguise off and pulled his mantle from his pocket dimension. It took a moment longer than usual, as he did not want to let go of the trembling metal fork for even a second, but with the Shadowhand persona firmly reaffixed, Essek swept into the Bastion and started down its labyrinthine halls.

He floated as briskly as he could without catching attention, but his giddy anticipation sped him through salon after salon, the wind of his movement sweeping his mantle out behind him. He only paused when he heard noisy overlapping voices, accents he couldn't quite place, and most interestingly all speaking Common.

Essek slowed and peered around the corner, the fork tremors shaking up his wrist into his forearm now. He caught the tail end of a group being led past the double doors at the end of the hall, into the antechamber before the court of the Queen. Even at this distance his eyes were drawn immediately to the two humans in the ragtag group. It was extremely unusual to see in Rosohna. He had just seconds to catalogue all details he could see before they disappeared behind the tall doors. Essek’s gaze flitted last to the human male, bright red hair catching his attention.

The vibrations in his hand surged in intensity, making him pull away from the wall in fear of involuntarily knocking against it. Essek could barely hold the rod anymore. It wanted him to go forward and now.

Even as he was conjuring up a plausible excuse to enter the antechamber, a message rang through and interrupted his mind. It was a summons. The Bright Queen had called a meeting of the full court within the hour.

Essek summoned his full concentration to open his pocket dimension and forced himself to drop the fork within. He could not have that distracting him or alerting any prying eyes. He did not need questions about his private affairs. He drifted back down the hall from where he came and his thoughts pondered that odd group of strangers and the redhead human. Essek did not believe in coincidences, and so the meeting must involve these people. And the fork...it’s pull had definitely directed his hand in their direction.

He had many questions (how did such commoners stumble upon a star? what would they want it for? how were they containing it’s essence alive, and not letting it fall chill and inert as stone?), but all answers seemed to point, once again, to patience.

The star was still potent, he was sure of it, and it was within hand's reach somewhere in the Bastion. This was the closest he had ever been to his goal. Essek couldn't stop the uncharacteristic grin from spreading across his face.

Nothing could stop him now.

{ day 2 prompt from @finelyfrenzied ‘s fictober list, I am so slow to write these haha. I’ll catch up eventually! }

#essek thelyss #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek #shadowgast fic #FICTOBER! I finished another prompt! :)#my fic #critical role fic

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dollopheadsandclotpoles · 4 years

Text

A TinCan Ficlet

Can was glad he and Tin were friends again. But why the hell didn’t Tin want to kiss him anymore?

Tin had been... strange since the two of them had become friends again.

Can reasoned that at least it was better than before. Just a little over a month ago Tin had asked Can to be his boyfriend and when Can had turned him down, Tin had walked away and Can had fully expected never to have another conversation with him again.

What followed was three weeks of horrible, all consuming emptiness. Compared to that, being friends with Weird Tin was definitely the better option.

Can didn’t know exactly what Pete had said to Tin to get him to talk to Can again. Whatever it was, it had worked. Tin had come to Can and told him that yes... ok... he was fine with them just being friends, and Can had been so happy to see him again and talk to him again that he had practically jumped on him to give him a hug.

But that was the last time Tin had so much as touched him.

Can was a physically affectionate person, and Tin hadn’t seemed to mind much before, but now he would shy away when Can attempted to drape himself on him, or when Can tried to link their arms, or even when Can sat too close.

It was weird. Weirdest of all, however, was that Tin didn’t make any sort of attempt to kiss him.

Can didn’t understand it. It was nice, wasn’t it? The last time they kissed, in Tin’s TV room? His stomach still got all wiggly when he thought about it. Tin had seemed to like it too. Tin had seemed to want kisses all the time back then. But now... Tin didn’t do anything. He didn’t brush his thumb over Can’s lips or try to lean in or even kiss him on the cheek.

It was eating away at Can. What exactly had changed in a month that suddenly made Tin not want to kiss him?

Can said nothing about it to Tin, fully expecting him to make a move one day or another. Can wasn’t going to make a move. He didn’t know how, really. Only once had Can asked Tin to kiss him, and even that time it was Tin who had kissed him first.

It was at the Engineering College vs. IC football match that Can finally snapped.

The IC won. Tin, who had surprisingly gotten very enraptured with the game, let out a loud whoop when the International College made a goal, two minutes before the end of the game. Can cheered with him. He was on the IC side, after all, with Tin and Pete and their other classmates. But Tin didn’t look at him. Instead, he turned to his other side and grinned at Pete - a wide, joyful grin - and then, he wrapped an arm around Pete’s shoulders, in an awkward, half-hug.

That was when the game stopped being fun.

Can sat down heavily on the bleachers. He remained in a sulky silence as the game ended and they walked down the stairs to the parking lot where Tin’s car stood waiting for them. Pete waved bye to them, and Can waved back, even though he was feeling glad that Pete was leaving.

“Should I drop you home, Can?” Tin asked.

Can gave a shrug, not looking Tin in the eye. Tin opened the passenger side door for him and Can got in, grumpily slamming the door shut behind himself.

“That was an exciting game,” Tin said, as they began to drive. He didn’t exactly sound enthusiastic, but that was Tin. He’d told him once that Can had enough enthusiasm for the both of them.

“Hmm,” Can replied. He was looking out of the window, refusing to look in Tin’s direction.

“What’s with you?” Tin asked. “You’re being so quiet. Are you sick?”

“No,” Can snapped. He crossed his arms and turned to Tin.

“Are you angry with me?” Tin raised an eyebrow. He sounded surprised. Can generally got louder when he was angry, not quieter, and Tin knew that. But this was not regular anger. Can had only once felt anger like this before - and that was when Ley had told him that she saw Pete and Tin together, looking all romantic. He hated it, this kind of anger. It made him feel so horrible. It burrowed under his skin and made his throat feel tight.

“I don’t know,” Can snapped.

“You don’t know if you’re angry with me?” Tin sounded amused, and this only served to make Can angrier.

“I don’t know means I don’t know.” Can huffed and slid down on his seat.

“Can.”

“You said we could be friends like before.”

Tin’s eyebrows shot up. “We are.”

“We’re not.” Can pressed his lips together, but he couldn’t stop the question from coming out. “Do you like Pete?”

“He’s my best friend, of course I like him.”

“Ai Tin! I mean...” Can swallowed. “I mean, do you want him to be your boyfriend?”

“No. I don’t.” The answer was simple, straight-forward, unhesitating. Can felt a sharp burst of relief cut through the anger.

“Really?”

Tin glanced at him. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because you’re normal with him! You’re weird with me.”

“How am I weird?”

“You...” The words wouldn’t come. Can didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling, what he wanted, what he needed. And so he said it. The thing that had been on his mind for the last two weeks. It burst forth from inside him, ripping its way through his skin. “You never want to kiss me.”

The car screeched to a halt. Can straightened up and peered out of the window, wondering what had caused them to swerve off the road, but he saw nothing. “Ai Tin...”

“What did you say?”

Can turned towards Tin and startled when he saw Tin’s face. He looked... raw. Vulnerable. The old, non-weird Tin who had told Can he liked him, who had asked Can to be his boyfriend, who had taken him on dates and bought him food and liked to kiss him.

His Tin.

Can’s heart was thudding at twice it’s normal speed. “I don’t...”

“Can, you were the one who said you wanted to be friends!” Tin’s voice was peculiar. It sounded strangled, like someone was choking him.

“I do,” Can said, confused.

“Then... why do you want me to kiss you? Friends don’t kiss.”

“But... we did, when we were friends. Before.”

Tin was staring at him with a look that Can couldn’t understand. Whatever it was, it was growing across Tin’s features, breaking whatever was left of Weird Tin.

Tin let out a strangled laugh, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Can admired his hands as he did. He liked Tin’s hands. They were so large, and he had long, thin fingers that could completely encircle Can’s hands.

“Can...,” Tin said. He paused for a moment, then took a deep, shuddering breath. When he spoke next, his voice was slow, and deliberate. “You told me you didn’t want to be my boyfriend. Boyfriends kiss, Can. Friends don’t kiss.”

“But...,” Can rubbed his ear. “We used to kiss. And we used to go out for lunches. And you used to want me to sit close to you, and to send you goodnight messages and now you don’t want all that...”

“Of course I want that Can, I want all of that. You didn’t want that.”

Can stared helplessly back at Tin. “But... I do. You said you wanted to be boyfriends, but... I liked how it was.”

Tin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh my Gods, Can.”

He said it in such a strange way - like he was desperate for something, but Can didn’t know what that something was. Tin ran his hand down his face. For a moment, Can only watched him. He watched Tin’s lips part and close, he watched his Adam’s apple bob, he watched as his long, thin fingers tightened and then loosened around the steering wheel.

Finally, Tin spoke. “Do you kiss Good, Can?”

“I think so?”

“No. Idiot. I mean your friend. Good. Do you kiss him?”

“What? No. Yuck. It’s Good.”

“Do you kiss your P’No?”

“P’No?” Can laughed. “I cannot even imagine that.”

“But you want to kiss me?”

Can fell silent. He stared down at his shoes, all dirty from walking around on the bleachers. The word came out soft, and so quiet, Can could barely hear himself. “Yes.”

He heard another shuddering breath from Tin. When he turned to look at him, Tin was resting his forehead on the steering wheel, his eyes closed.

“Pete told me it wasn’t fair to you,” Tin said, his voice muffled. “When you told me you didn’t want to be my boyfriend, I was heartbroken. I didn’t want to see you, I didn’t want to talk to you. But Pete told me it wasn’t fair. He told me you were hurting. And I didn’t want to hurt you, Can. So I tried. I tried to be your friend. But I knew I couldn’t do it if you were touching me and smiling at me and being... you. I’d want to kiss you too much. I’d want to touch you too much. I wanted to be as close to you, but it hurt too much to do that.” He lifted his head then, and his eyes were fuzzy. “You really are the cutest stupid, Cantaloupe.”

“Don’t call me that!” Can whined, but his heart was jumping in his chest, little flutters of happiness. His Tin. This was his Tin.

“Can, being boyfriends means kissing and going on dates and for dinners, and not dating other people.”

Can blinked. “But that’s what we were already doing.”

“I know. But when I asked you to be my boyfriend... I just... I wanted to see if you liked me back.”

Can sagged back in his seat. He didn’t know what it meant to like someone. He’d never liked someone before. He liked his friends and he felt safe and comfortable with them, so when Tin had asked him to become boyfriends, Can was scared to enter into a relationship different from the kinds he knew and enjoyed.

But if boyfriends were what he and Tin were before, then that’s what Can wanted.

Boyfriends.

He let the word sit in his mind for a moment. He thought about how he felt around Tin, how he felt warm and excited. How he felt the way he did when he was with Good and Ae, but also different. They didn’t make his stomach go all flippy the way it did around Tin. He didn’t want to kiss them. When he touched them, he didn’t think twice about it. But when he touched Tin, sometimes there were sparks where they touched, on their skin. Nice sparks. Sparks that made him all goosebumpy.

Tin was watching him now, his eyes searching. He looked the way he had that day, by his car, when he’d asked Can to be his boyfriend. That horrible, horrible day.

“Do you still want to be my boyfriend?” Can asked, and his voice was almost a whisper.

“Yes.”

Despite himself, Can’s face split into a grin. “Ok,” he said.

“Ok?” Tin looked cautious, hesitant.

“We’re boyfriends, then. Ok?”

Tin’s eyes softened, and he laughed and turned away. Can could see red creeping up the side of his neck, and he shivered a little as he thought of that day in Tin’s TV room, when his hand was on that neck, his fingers feeling the heat of his skin. “Ok.”

Tin was smiling now, that shy, small smile. He wasn’t looking at Can. Can licked his lips.

“Can we kiss now?” Can asked.

Tin turned to him. “Ok.” Tin held up three fingers, pressed them to his own lips, and then pressed them to Can’s mouth.

Can glared at him. “Ai Tiiiiin. What was that?”

“That’s a ‘Can Style Kiss’.”

Can pouted. “I don’t want that style kiss right now. I want a proper one.”

Tin was grinning now, and that smile - that smile - Gods, it made Can feel like the sun was inside him.

Before he knew what he was doing, Can’s hand was wrapped around Tin’s tie, and he was pulling Tin closer, closer, and then - they were kissing. Again. Finally.

Can felt that the flip-flop feeling in his stomach, and a tingle on his skin. The sun inside him leaked into his gut, over his arms and his neck. His fingers were in Tin’s hair, pulling Tin even closer. Tin’s kiss was warm and hungry and he pressed against Can like he could not get enough.

They had wasted so much time. Can had some catching up to do.

#Tin x can #tincan #love by chance #lbc #my writing #thaibl #drabble game #this is not a part of any game I just want it with the rest of the drabbles I wrote sue me

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awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

Text

Supernatural and Good Omens Crossover

“Hey, Cas!” Dean shouted, a strange excitement clouding his voice (and judgement). Sam and Dean locked eyes for a moment, and Sam could’ve sworn for that brief second, he saw the corner of Dean’s mouth beginning to form a small smile. “Cas! You comin’ or what?!”

Castiel entered the bunker’s hall to see Sam and Dean standing in front of the table, a bowl perched hastily, surrounded by some very common ingredients for spells. A virgins blood, the bone of a saint, goat liver... you get the gist.

As Cas edged forward, a blinding light shot up from the bowl, forming a beam-like shape right next to it. “Dean,” Cas said gruffly, and so very tiredly, “what are you doing?”

“Hey, c’mon man,” Dean replied, pouting, “you can clearly see our own personal witch Sammy has the spell book. Not me.” He raised his hands in mock surrender, causing both Cas and Sam to simultaneously roll their eyes.

“We got him,” Sam spoke finally, much to Dean’s content, and further, to Cas’ dismay, mostly because Castiel knew exactly what Dean was doing and he was very much, as the youth say, done now.

Cas recalled a recent incident about the fight he had with Dean. It was late and Dean had just come back from a very exhausting demon hunt, which had turned out to be quite disastrous, what with all the involvement of Hell Hounds.

Sam had gone to bed early that day, saying that he’d catch up on some research to help beat Chuck, but Cas and Dean both knew that whatever Sam was catching up on, it wasn’t research. Dean could hear dialogues sometimes, coming from Sam’s room. Most often, it was “Title of your sex tape”, which always intrigued Dean very much, and googling it turned out to be a very bad idea.

So, Cas and Dean were relaxing in the kitchen, sharing a bottle of whiskey, talking about everything and nothing. Dean suddenly started talking about how Crowley had turned out to be not such a bad guy for a demon. Then Dean thought about how Heaven, Hell, the Empty and the Purgatory were all in utter chaos, which led his train of thoughts towards resurrecting Crowley. Cas had made a mental note that day: late nights, whiskey, demon hunts and exhausting days always gave Dean the stupidest, most idiotic ideas of all time.

“Sammy can bring him back,” Dean had said, to which Cas was certain he had put up quite an argument but the fight turned slightly vicious and both Cas and Dean spent the following week shooting daggers at each other. Cas eventually forgot what he had said, but Dean stood by his statement.

This was the reason why Sam and Dean had been trying to bring back Crowley for several weeks now; trying different spells, different ingredients, different places and hell, one time, different clothes too (if you must know, Dean insisted that they wear a black suit. Yes, it had been a long day and Dean was down two glasses of Whiskey; why do you ask?). Everytime it didn’t work, Dean would spend days on end in his room, eating nothing but stale pizza, watching reruns of The X-Files. Cas was worried it would happen again.

“Cas? You there, buddy?” Dean pushed Cas back to the present with a small but sturdy tap on his shoulder. “We got him, Cas, we got him.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion and frowned, then looked at Sam, who nodded in agreement. They all focused on the bowl in front of them as the light grew warmer and brighter, until a figure began materialising from the beam.

Crowley opened his eyes to see himself in a strange place, a place he’d never seen before, nor considered running away to. Three men stood in front of him, tall and very well built, wearing an absurd amount of flannel. Crowley looked to his left to see a blinding light, and for a second, he thought he was in Heaven again, with that purple-eyed monster.

“Which poor sucker are you wearing as a meatsuit, Crowley?” The man with the scruffy, short, light hair said.

“Wait, wait, what? Meatsuit? Don’t be stupid--” Crowley sat up straight, looking around frantically, he said, “what the hell did you do with Aziraphale? Where is he?”

“Uh, Dean,” Cas began, clearly suspicious, but Dean cut him off.

“Just hold on to your horses for a second, Cas, let me handle this.”

Cas sighed.

“WHERE IS HE? And, and, did you just say Crowley? Nobody, in all of six thousand years, has ever called me “Cr-ow-ley”.” Crowley spoke angrily, then in exasperation.

“Where’s who?” Sam said, understanding something was definitely off.

“Aziraphale.” Crowley hissed, but it wasn’t an angry hiss, it was more of a habitual, slurring-of-words-hiss.

“Who’s he, your side chick?” Dean joked, but by now he was certain that whoever this person was, it was not Crowley. Sure, he had the accent. And if Crowley had been more focused on looking like an overdramatic sass queen, then maybe the black attire too. But this man, or whatever he was, he was not Crowley.

The blinding light grew brighter still, flashing an almost heavenly glow now, as another figure materialised from the beam.

The figure was more angelic than any form Castiel had seen. Michael could never. Cas could feel the figure’s aura deep inside him, resonating with his own grace, a soft humming of something divine.

“Oh, my, you seem to have caught us in quite a compromising position,” the heavenly figure said, his voice lilted, and apparently apologetic.

“You two are holding hands?” Dean spoke before he could stop himself. “If you think that’s compromising, boy do I have news for you.” Dean subsequently made a mental note to never talk again.

“Well I grew impatient and--” Before the figure in all shades of beige could complete his sentence, the man calling himself Crowley jumped to his feet.

“Angel! Where were you?” Crowley had gathered his senses and he was not going to let his angel go anywhere again. “Aziraphale, you gave me quite a fright, you bastard.”

“Wait, can someone explain to me what is happening?” Sam said, his hands raised, angel blade in one and holy water in the other.

“Is that...that’s holy water.” Crowley mellowed down, a frown making its way up his face.

“Now, that isn’t very kind of you, sir. There is absolutely no need to bring in weapons. That would be simply preposterous!” Aziraphale, replied calmly, miracling away the weapons from the tall man’s hands. This seemed to cause a chain reaction, making more weapons surface. Now all three men were clad with some sort of weaponry; very nifty ones too.

“There is,” Aziraphale began again, more sternly this time, “simply no reason to be feral, dear boys.”

“If you’re wondering, I am Crowley. Crow-ley. I am a demon; didn’t fall, though; sauntered vaguely below. And this is Aziraphale. Now boys, as much as I’d like to stay here and make your lives miserable by, I dunno, replacing all the real bacon with vegetarian bacon, I’d rather wrap this up quickly. We just dealt with an apocalypse and I have the alarm set for a decade of sleeping. And trust me, you don’t want to wait for Aziraphale to start with his magic tricks.”

Dean made a face at the thought of vegetarian bacon but quickly got over it, concentrating instead on the fact that this was Crowley too. Crow-ley, apparently.

“So, you’re not Fergus? You mother’s not Rowena? God Dammit Sammy, what’d you do?”

Sam looked as confused as everyone right now, but he could’ve sworn he had called Crowley from this universe. Something must’ve gone wrong.

“Just give us a moment to talk,” Sam said to the angel and the demon, and turned to Cas and Dean.

“And no monkey business,” Dean added, causing Sam to roll his eyes in disappointment again.

“So, my dear, before we go back, don’t you think it would be wonderful if one could, you know, miracle the one with light hair and the one with the trenchcoat together? I would, but it has become a little--” Aziraphale began suggestively, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

“What? Angel, they are just friends! Like us,” Crowley replied.

“My dear, we are married,” Aziraphale sighed, deadpanning.

“Wait, we are?! Since when?” Crowley screamed, obviously taken by surprise.

“Since you went to talk to Holmes, quite an interesting chap, about your secret admirer?”

Crowley shook his head, still confused.

“We got married the next day, Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed again.

Crowley shook his head yet again, much to Aziraphale’s disbelief.

“You proposed!”

Sam coughed, interrupting Aziraphale and Crowley’s very important conversation about if they got married or not.

“So, here’s the thing: we think that while we were trying to contact Crowley of this universe, you, Crowley, from another universe were summoned here instead. This could be because of two things: Chuck is going insane and he no longer has control over the veils between universes, or two, because Jack (he’s a nephilim), is back, his powers might have overwhelmed the spell. We also think that because of your “compromising position”, both of you got summoned, instead of just Crowley. Either way, you are free to go.”

“Or you could stay for a couple of drinks, if that is okay by you,” Cas said, hoping they’d stay, just so he could get to know them better.

Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged a knowing glance, coming to an agreement.

“It is noon presently; would you have cocoa by any chance?” Aziraphale chimed happily.

_______________________________________________________________________

Hey y’all! I am sure this has been done before but I am currently practicing escapism by writing silly fanfics so please bear with me through this phase.

I’m gonna tag some awesome people: @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @petrichoravellichor @all-or-nothing-baby @telefunkies @jensenackles-ismyreligion @mystybloo @thedepressedexpress

Tell me if you want me to tag you or if you don’t want me to tag you.

Thank you for reading uwu

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