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tommysparker · 3 years

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Never Forget You [Chapter 1]

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

A/N: here’s the first official chapter! thank you so much for the support this series as already gotten. chapters will be posted every Saturday! enjoy :)

Warnings: angst. fluffy flashbacks. this isn’t even the worst of it mwhaha. paragraphed italics = flashback

[10 YEARS LATER]

The sky was as blue as his eyes. Not as dark and cloudy, but gave the same feeling of hope, peacefulness, and comfort. You could picture them vividly in your mind, even the small crinkle at the edges and the kindness they held, a warmness that matched your current aurora.

The two of you sat in the gardens for what felt like hours, deep in meditation. Your force signatures quickly became entangled with one another, your bond radiating around you, creating almost a shield bubble between the rest of the world and the two who sat inside.

Obi-Wan was the first to open his eyes, having never been one to sit still for long periods of time. He’s improved since he was a youngling, but still had a long way to go.

You, on the other hand, looked completely invested in your meditation. Your face was relaxed, although every now and then your eyebrows would furrow as you tried to maintain concentration. It was hard when a certain other was very distracting, even if he wasn’t aware of it.

“I can feel you staring,” you said, eyes still closed. Obi-Wan was thankful for that fact because it means you wouldn’t see him blush in embarrassment from getting caught.

“I can feel you blushing, too.” This time, you opened your eyes and smiled. “I knew you wouldn’t last long.” Anytime the two of you tried to meditate together, it would always end with Obi-Wan getting bored and asking to duel instead.

He quickly hid his face, pulling the hood of his robe over his head. “I’m not blushing, that’s childish.”

You giggled, leaning forward to lift the front of his hood. “Obi-Wan, you are the most childish person I know.”

The young man was about to protest before you hushed, eyes already closed once more as you returned to your deep state of awareness.

You opened your eyes and sighed, long and deep.

Standing up from the cold floor of your room, you looked out the window and gazed at the cloudy sky of Gyfill. The air felt chilly from the lack of life-forms in the area. After your first week on the planet, you decided it was a safer idea to seek shelter away from town. Considering your mission was to spy on the local Separatist groups, keeping a low profile was essential.

Today was different, however. The same cold and dull atmosphere were present, but the future is what held the divergent. For today, was the day you were finally to return home.

Home. The word itself felt familiar but distant. As a Jedi, you trained to hold little sentimental value. Attachments were forbidden, a path to the dark side. They provoked fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

Once your bag of belongings was packed, you made your way to the marked location someone from the Jedi council sent earlier that morning. Mentally, you were not prepared to see everyone again. After being isolated for years and having limited contact with any life form outside of business, the many faces from your time at the Temple became slightly blurry. Except for his.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was on his way to the Archives when he bumped into Ahsoka Tano.

“Oh, Master Kenobi! Perfect, I was about to go look for you.”

“Ahsoka,” he smiled. “What can I do for you?”

“Who’s Y/n Y/l/n?”

Obi-Wan froze. The sound of that name echoed in his mind, paired with memories that he had locked away in the back of his mind. “Well...that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time,” was all he could manage to say, still trying to process all the past recollections that suddenly surfaced.

“So, you know them?”

“Uh, yes I suppose so. We were...close as younglings and trained together as Padawans. They were...the most skilled Jedi I ever had the pleasure of knowing, almost as good as Master Yoda.”

“If they’re so great, how come I never heard of them before?” Ahsoka tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, resting a hand on her hip in classic ‘Ashoka manner’,

“They were sent away on an important mission years ago as far as I know. Er, why do you ask? And how did you come to know of that name?”

“Oh right. Anakin said the Chancellor told him that Master Y/l/n was returning today. He told me to ask you about it.”

Once again, Obi-Wan’s world paused.

He stood across from you, trying to maintain a neutral expression as he watched you load your bags onto the ship. However, you knew him better than that.

You walked up to the young boy and he took in your appearance. Gone was the braid that draped over your shoulder. Gone were the long robes you liked to hide in, in their place was a heavy jacket that looked like it was built to keep out the cold. Perhaps you were going to Hoth?

“Obi, you know I can’t tell you where I’m going. Master Windu was strict about his instructions,” You sighed, sensing your friend trying to deduce as much as he could. Your Master was very clear when he told you how classified the mission was. No one can know, especially Obi-Wan.

“Can you at least say how long you’ll be gone?” He practically begged, wanting something, anything he could get to keep his hope alive. Hope that you'll return soon. Hope that you weren’t truly leaving him.

You looked away, staring at the towers and passing hover-vehicles that littered the planet you’ve grown up on. “I don’t know.”

Everything had happened so suddenly. You were called into the council room that day to hear the news every Padawan dreams of. When Master Windu said you were ready for the trials, the first thing you went to do was tell Obi-Wan. The two of you celebrated that night in the gardens, a moment you would treasure for the rest of your life. Soon after you gained the title of Jedi Knight, you were once again called into the Jedi Council room to be debriefed on your first mission as a proper Jedi. You didn’t want to mess this up. You couldn’t.

Obi-Wan resists the urge to pull you into a hug and never let you go, instead opting to hold your shoulders and give you his signature charming smile. “Be safe, darling.”

You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You held his wrist, bringing his knuckles to your lips and pressed a hesitant kiss to them before pushing them to his side. “May the force be with you.”

There was no pet name at the end, no ‘my friend’ or even his own name. It was a sentence that was meant to bring comfort, but the way you phrased it, the edge in your voice, made Obi-Wan feel everything but comforted.

He didn’t get the luxury of responding, for all he did was blink and suddenly you were on the ship, taking off into the clear blue sky.

You gazed at the clouds passing by as the ship flew into Coruscant’s atmosphere. The bright light and sunny day was a harsh change from the grey sky that fell over Gyfill. The energy emitting off of all the life-forms gave you a headache. You felt the Force all around you, swirling in the air and penetrating your soul. It was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for over a decade.

You flinched at the light as the door opened, suddenly feeling like a hermit crawling out of its shell. Slowly walking out of the ship, you pulled the cloak hood over your head, inhaling the strange but familiar scent of the Jedi Temple. You were still wearing your Gyfill civilian attire, the wool fabric made the Coruscant heat much more intense causing a few beads of sweat to form on your forehead. Or was it just the nerves of seeing all the people you left behind?

Master Windu stood at the end of the drop door, a smile on his face at the sight of his former Padawan. It was an occasion that called for a little joy, a moment to celebrate outside the war that raged through the galaxy.

You descended down the ramp, taking in a sharp breath at the feeling of another force sensitive. “Master Windu”. You bowed your head and he did the same to you.

“Master Y/l/n, it’s great to see you in person rather than as a hologram.”

You both chuckled lightly. “The feeling is mutual, Master. It’s...it’s good to be back.” Your eyes wandered over the people that roamed about. Jedi Masters walked with their Padawans at their side. Distant memories resonated within you. Some time ago that was once you and your Master, the man who stands before you know who has grown significantly older. Then again, so have I, you thought to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one registering your growth. Obi-Wan stood behind a pillar, glancing over the hanger in search of a familiar face. He was aware it would not be the same face he knew as a young boy, but he certainly was not prepared for what he saw.

You look older, which was the obvious and expected observation. He noted how you wrapped yourself in your cloak, similar to how you would in your youth. You stood tall in front of Master Windu, another trait you had kept since your days as a Padawan. He remembered how you would always act mature in the presence of Masters, something he never really understood until becoming a Jedi Knight. The need for approval by the superiors was a constant.

It wasn’t just your appearance that had changed either. He could feel it in the Force. There was a shift in it when you had landed that made an excited yet nervous chill run down his spine. You were stronger and held more control in your signature.

Before, he remembers being able to feel it from across the Temple. Now, it was barely there. He remembers feeling your bond drift farther as he watched you leave, and how it had dimmed over the years you were gone. He remembers the pain that tortured him every night as he laid awake in bed, trying to reach out across the stars but only being met with the vast emptiness of space. There was something in him that broke the first time he slept without having a tendril of your force signature connected with his. He felt cold, resorting to sleeping in his Master’s quarters in an attempt to ease the loneliness.

Overall, it would appear that nothing about you had changed, and yet it seemed everything was different. Almost everything.

His eyes were just as blue as the last time you saw them. They looked tired, haunted by the ongoing war but still filled with determination. Classic Obi-Wan.

You quickly broke eye contact the moment it was made, but that one second was more than enough for Obi-Wan to get lost in the familiar colour. His favourite colour in fact, not that he would ever admit you had any part in the decision.

“Master Obi-Wan?”

He jumped at the sound of a voice and suddenly became aware of the presence right next to him, that presence belonging to none other than Master Yoda.

“Master Yoda! I er I was just...uh...looking...for Anakin! Yes, uh have you seen him around by any chance?” Obi-Wan quickly tried to cover his stutter, feeling embarrassed about getting caught gazing from afar. Not that Master Yoda would know he was looking at you...right?

“I see,” the little green creature smirked in amusement. “Whatever it is, wait it can. Council meeting about to begin there is.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his eyes. Typically he was able to keep a good track of the meetings, but this was news to him. “What’s it about?”

“Master Y/l/n.”

“Hmm?” You hummed absentmindedly.

“Are you listening?” Master Windu raised an eyebrow.

“Oh uh, my apologies Master. I’m just...readjusting.” You tried to focus your attention on what Master Windu was saying, but the recognition of his presence made it difficult. For years, you tried to forget about him. You ignored the empty feeling in your stomach at night, the thoughts and memories that plagued your dreams. After some time, they eventually began to fade but never forgotten. It was for the best.

Master Windu crossed his arms. “There will be plenty of time for that after your debrief of the mission. Master Yoda and the rest of the council await.”

Oh, Force, not the council.

You would never dare to admit or even show it, but the council and being in the council room had always intimidated you. How could it not? You had to stand in the center of all the best Jedi of that era while they stare at you, judging you, sitting high and mighty in those stupid chairs.

“This way, my old Padawan.”

You followed Master Windu through the large halls of the Jedi Temple. You masked the nervousness that was no doubt radiating from your force signature. A multitude of thoughts ran through your mind, good and bad. Worst case scenario, you had done something so wrong that you were about to be kicked out of the Jedi Order. Nothing came to mind when you tried to think of any offence you had committed in the recent weeks since you earned the title of Jedi Knight.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of the large council room doors opening, the creaking of the hinges made you cringe slightly.

The room was ominously lit, the only light source being the setting sun shining through the glass windowed walls. Master Yoda sat in his seat. All the other chairs were empty.

Master Windu took his seat as you stood before the two of them. He could see the questions rise from your confused facial expression. “Everything we discuss in this room stays between us, young Jedi.”

You nodded, inhaling and exhaling slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. “Master Windu, Master Yoda. What is this about? Have I done something wrong?”

The two men looked at each other and shared an unreadable expression before turning back to you. Master Yoda was the first to speak. “Sending you on a mission we are. To Gyfill you will go.”

Whatever anxieties that you held before were washed away with this information. You contain your excitement, but the sudden mood shift was still noticeable. “Who am I going with? When do we leave? What’s the mission for?” It was rare that a Jedi would be sent on a mission alone, typically you were partnered up for safety measures. Obi-Wan’s face flashed in your mind, and although it was unlikely, a small part of you hoped he would be going with you.

“This mission only requires one Jedi. There’s a Separaist organization on the planet and we’re sending you to gain intel and report back to us. No one outside of this room can be aware of this information. You leave within the week. Understood?”

You frowned, “Forgive me Master, but why can’t anyone know?” The idea of having to leave your home seemingly without a trace made you iffy. Obi-Wan once again appeared in your mind.

Master Windu and Yoda exchanged a look before Windu responded almost hesitantly. “We have reason to believe someone in the Order is a traitor, and the number of people who are trustworthy is very limited.”

“You mean someone has betrayed us?” You asked in shock. How could anyone do such a thing? And a Jedi nonetheless.

“Time to answer your questions, there will be, young one. Prepare for your first mission now, you must.” Master Yoda said. “Prepare to say goodbye you should.”

It was as IF he could read your mind, which he probably could. You dreaded the idea of saying goodbye, especially when it was clear that there was no guarantee of your return date. How would you explain to your friends that you won’t be around anymore? What will Obi-Wan think?

“That is another subject that needs to be discussed.”

————————————————————————————

what else needs to be discussed? who’s the traitor? how will obi-wan and y/n get on after all this time? lemme know what you think!!

taglist: @queenariesofnarnia @dwarfplanet69 @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice

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minkoobi · 3 years

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𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐣𝐣𝐤

⤳ pairing: gryffindor!jungkook x slytherin!reader ⤳ genre: rivals to lovers, fluff, slight angst ⤳ word count: 11.5k ⤳ summary: jeon jungkoook, quidditch rival and former best friend, attempts to rekindle your lost friendship- and maybe something more

The gates slowly rise up and you are met with the sun nearly blinding you. With one quick glance to your teammates, you hop on your broomstick and fly up and above the quidditch pitch. Students from different houses were cheering, waving flags and chanting with all their might.

“Slytherin! Slytherin!”

You soar above them with pride and confidence. Quidditch has always been more than a sport to you. It was your calling- your passion. You were the best player in your team after all, earning you the title of being Slytherin’s team captain. You have led your team to many wins, but also shared your losses, specifically against this one team.

As if on cue, the opposing team makes their entrance, flying around the pitch with smiles on their faces, one which caught your attention almost immediately.

That toothy grin with his nose scrunched up and eyes turned into crescents- they could only be that of Jeon Jungkook’s, Gryffindor’s team captain and best player. Simply put, he was your rival. You both had the position of being a chaser and are both known for being extremely competitive.

“Gryffindor! Gryffindor!”

You can see his smile grow bigger and you almost scowl at how easily his ego was boosted. But if you were being honest, you didn’t hate the guy, just disappointed at how your relationship turned out to be.

First Year

“Up.”

And just like that, your broomstick met your palm in an instant. Pride fills you at how easily you’ve done the task at hand. You were really looking forward to Flying Classes since it’s a step closer to learning quidditch.

To your left, the boy kept summoning his broomstick, having it float for a millisecond before it drops to the ground again. His fringe hung over his eyes but you could still make up his furrowed eyebrows. He groans in dismay and you can’t help but giggle.

“You have to put more force into it.”

The boy looks at you, eyes wide and a little flustered by the fact that you were watching him. You give him a small smile and a nod as if telling him to give it a try. He gulps before focusing on the broomstick and with one stern ’up’, he had it in his hand.

“Thanks!” the nameless boy smiles sheepishly.

“It’s nothing. I’m Y/N by the way,” You reach your hand out to him and he gives it a good shake.

“Jungkook.”

“Don’t zone out now Y/N, you wouldn’t want to lose to me again would you?” Jungkook smirks as he flies over to his side of the pitch. You notice Madam Hooch walking towards the wooden chest at the center of the field. The game’s about to start. You position yourself right across from Jungkook and mirror his smug look. “Wouldn’t dream about it.”

Madam Hooch blows on her whistle and throws the quaffle up into the air. Almost effortlessly, you catch it before darting towards the opposing goal. You see red come up from both your sides and as they near you, you throw the quaffle up into the air before your fellow teammate catches it and shoots it into the ring. A bell is heard and the commentator yells “ Slytherin scores first with 10 points!”

“Beaters, get the bludgers! Leave her to me,” Jungkook yells at his teammates before flying right behind your broomstick’s tail. It takes him no longer than a second until he is beside you and a little too close for your liking. You knew he was taunting you.

“You’re being too predictable nowadays,” his arrogance annoys you and you spare him a quick glance.

“I know how this will work out. You’ll have your little snakes catch the ball and have them hand it to you so you can make your goal.” From the corner of your eye, you see your teammate wave a hand at you. Without saying a word, you dart towards their direction and as he throws the ball towards you, Jungkook cuts in between and grabs the quaffle with one hand. He turns his head to face you. “Like I said, predictable.” He speeds towards your goal post and effortlessly shoots it through the ring.

“Yes! 10 points to Gryffindor!” The crowd goes wild as the scores are now tied. Your anger builds up and your determination to win adds up to your adrenaline. “Keeper, don’t let them score,” you say calmly as you fly up higher to the sky. From there you could see everything clearly. You observe your opposing team and are quick to catch on to their tactic. Turns out Jungkook was just as predictable as you.

You make your way to your teammates, sending them a look before spreading out. The Gryffindor team looked confused, watching you all fly aimlessly around them. As the distraction goes on, you and your closest teammate, Seulgi, fly up to Jungkook and trap him between your broomsticks. He is unable to nudge away from you two and causes him to lose his grip on the quaffle. You take this opportunity to snatch it off his hands and shoot it to their ring. Another bell is heard and Slytherin is leading again. “And I thought I was too predictable,” you mock Jungkook’s tone before flying away.

The game progresses intensely and everyone is on the edge of their seat, clearly intrigued by the feud between you and Jungkook. Points were scored here and there and it wasn’t until the commentator announced Slytherin’s win when you noticed your seeker holding the golden snitch. The students from your house were up on their seats, yelling in victory. We did it. I won against Jeon Jungkook. The thought alone made you so happy, you didn’t notice the latter flew closer to you.

“Good game, Y/N,” Jungkook says without any trace of sarcasm and you send him a small smile before going back to celebrating your team’s win.

Second Year

You practically slam the common room door behind you and rush to Jungkook’s side. “I am so so sorry for taking so long, I just misplaced my book somewhere and-“

“Yeah yeah, apologize later. We’re late for Potions Class!” The two of you make a run for it down the hallway, pushing past other students and earning weird looks from them. Professor Granger will not let this slide and will probably give you both extra work. You could already picture the cold, mean scowl on her face.

“I can’t believe you made me wait for you outside your dormitory. Do you know how many times I’ve been glared at by your fellow snakes? I could’ve sworn one of them was trying to hex me,” Jungkook pants as you both continue to sprint down the corridor.

“Shut it Jeon, this is just payback for when you made me late for Herbology.”

“That was a lame class anyway, you would’ve stayed in the courtyard with me if I didn’t remind you of the time.”

The two of you finally reach your classroom and as you step inside, you were fairly surprised to see that Professor Granger hasn’t arrived yet. “Wow, and I thought we were in trouble,” says Jungkook, clearly relieved. Just then, the door slams behind you. Both of you make a slow dramatic turn to see narrowed eyes looking down at you two.

“You’re late.”

Looking back, you can’t really pin-point where things started to go downhill between you two. You were practically inseparable, never found without the other.

During your first two years in Hogwarts, he was your companion as you were his. You both experienced getting lost in the hallways, going up the wrong flight of stairs (they always switch when you least expect them to), and getting spooked by the house ghosts who randomly pop out of walls. Jungkook was also your partner when it came to learning quidditch, since you two shared the same love for the sport.

But as third year came along, things slowly began to change. Jungkook started to gain the attention of many students and even professors. He became known for his exceptional skills in quidditch and everyone was certain that professional teams were already lined up to scout him. You on the other hand, didn’t receive any less recognition. Students, especially younger girls, looked up to you. Many have assumed that you already have a spot reserved in the Holyhead Harpies team, but you chose to stay away from that spotlight and simply focus on perfecting your skills.

But you can tell Jungkook is doing the exact opposite. You can see it in the way he enjoys having to carry a box of sweets and a dozen letters covered in pink and red hearts back to his dormitory almost everyday after class. It’s obvious in the way his cheeks flush pink when he walks in a room and girls start to gush over him.

Your differences with one another become more apparent, causing both of you to spend less time together, which eventually comes to a halt all together. Keeping in touch with each other was no longer a priority and neither of you tried to change that.

Maybe you both simply grew up, or rather, grew apart.

It’s a sad yet inevitable ending, you’ll admit that. But as you continue to stare at the boy surrounded by his rowdy group of friends in the Great Hall who sat not too far from you, you can’t help but feel a sense of longing.

“Y/N, did you even hear a word I said?”

“Huh? Sorry I didn't catch that,” you switch your attention back to your friends, hoping they didn’t notice you just now.

“It’s that Jungkook guy isn’t it.”

“No it’s not.”

“Oh the hell it is! You were practically gawking at him,” your friend imitates your expression, erupting a fit of laughter around you.

“Whatever Wendy, it’s not like you don’t do the same when it comes to Mark.”

“Hey at least I admit it.”

“What happened to you two anyway? You guys were like, best buds two years ago,” Seulgi remembers meeting up with you two in the library and finding it odd for a Gryffindor and a Slytherin to be so close. Now you’re in your fifth year and your conversations with Jungkook only ever happen when you’re both in the pitch. You weren’t even sure if you could consider them as conversations since all you ever say to each other are insults and sarcastic blows.

“I don’t know, his head grew the size of a hippogriff and suddenly he’s too cool to be my friend,” you shrug as you take a bite off your bagel. Jungkook still holds a special place in your life but you’re never going to admit that. Despite everything that happened between you two, he’ll always be that kid who had a hard time summoning his broomstick.

“What a tragic love story,” Wendy feigns pain, placing a hand over her chest before giggling. “But back to the main topic at hand, you and I still need to find a date.” That’s right, the Celestial Ball was just around the corner and you couldn’t care less about who to go with.

“Can’t I just fly solo? It’s not like anyone wants to take me anyway.”

“Might wanna rethink that statement Y/N,” Seulgi grins as she nods towards Jungkook’s direction. You turn back to see him staring right at you. He doesn’t even break his gaze, as if he was studying every little detail on your face. The intimacy of the situation was too much for you, so you look away.

On any given day, you would love to hang out in the courtyard. The gentle breeze and overall ambiance of the place was just the perfect setting for you to relax and even read a book in. But with the Celestial Ball only two weeks away, it wasn’t that much of a surprise to see the place filled with students and couples asking each other to be their dates. And no, you weren’t some bitter bystander who despised the thought of young love, but there’s a fine line between appropriate display of affection and snogging behind a tree.

You’ve just about had it and was about to give up on having some peaceful alone time when a shadow towers over you. You look up to see a boy with black and gold draping over his shoulders and a grin you could’ve easily mistaken for the sun.

“Hey! How’s my favorite chaser doing?”

Kim Seokmin, 6th year Hufflepuff and head boy. You knew each other from past quidditch games and were fairly acquainted with one another. He was his team’s keeper and with his tall, lean frame, you remember it being almost impossible getting a ball through their ring. Unfortunately, he got severely injured on his left leg from a game during a thunderstorm last year and has stopped playing since then. It’s a shame because he was one of the best players in all of Hogwarts.

“Not any better now that you’re here,” you jokingly respond. Seokmin simply chuckles at this and takes up the space next to yours on the bench.

“Aww c’mon, just because you won against Gryffindor you’re suddenly too good for me? I am hurt Y/N,” Seokmin clutches his chest in exaggerated pain, erupting a giggle from you as you grab the end of his scarf and swat it across his face.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I got you to laugh though,” he wraps an arm around your shoulders and your eyes slightly widen at the unexpected contact. It’s very clear to you now how this guy was placed in Hufflepuff with his tangible enthusiasm radiating off of him. Looking at him now, you couldn’t help but notice how the yellow of his robes match his skin tone and the crinkle of his eyes when he smiles were the perfect embodiment of his House.

“Listen, I actually came up to you cause I have something important to ask,” he spoke in a lower, more serious tone this time.

“What is it?”

“Well.. with the ball coming up and from what I know, you currently don't have a date, i was just wondering if maybe.. you would want to go with me?” Seokmin glances over to your bewildered face, waiting for a response. You were definitely not expecting to be asked out, let alone by a 6th year student you’ve rarely talked to. As you internally debate on an answer, a voice startles you from behind.

“Y/N! I have been looking for you everywhere!” Jungkook sneaks up to you two from behind a pillar, effectively getting Seokmin to remove his arm from you out of shock. The doe eyed boy continues to nudge himself between you two, taking a seat on the already crowded bench.

“I should probably go, but let me know as soon as possible alright? See ya around,” Seokmin sends you a quick wink before jogging back to his group of friends.

“What’s up with you and Donkey Kong?” Jungkook lays across the bench and rests his head on your lap, placing his forearm over his eyes.

“First of all, it’s Seokmin, and second, what makes you think you can use me as your personal pillow?”

“Do you like him?” he asks, completely ignoring your retaliation.

“That’s none of your business Jungkook.”

“You’re dodging the question.”

“Why does it even matter to you?”

“He’s older than you.”

“He’s literally just a year above us and only a few months older than you.”

“Jeez now you’re defending him? Someone’s whipped,” Jungkook lowers his arm to send you a disgusted look, making you shove him off your lap. You’re satisfied to hear a muted thud as he lands on the ground.

“Whoever I like and dislike is not important, so drop it m’kay?” You’ve always hated confrontations since you were never really good at coming to terms with your own feelings. Yes, Seokmin may be a sweet guy, but having Jungkook press an answer out of you was very irritating. You get up to leave immediately when Jungkook grabs your wrist.

“Wait, what’s your next class?”

“I’m done for the day, I’m headed back to my dorm.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jungkook doesn’t even wait for you to decline his offer as he practically drags you down the corridor. Only when you stop resisting is when Jungkook drops his grip on you.

The walk to your dorm was suffocatingly silent. It wasn’t because you were awkward around him, not at all. You’ve strolled around the castle together in silence multiple times yet this moment felt very new to you. Walking next to him, you notice how much taller he’s grown and how his shoulders have broadened, jawline more prominent and wavy hair just perfectly resting over his eyebrows. It felt like being next to a whole different person. But as he glances at you with those all too familiar eyes of his, you were certain that nothing has changed. That kid you once called your best friend was still in him.

“Dude, I know you hate me but you gotta stop shooting invisible lasers to my head.” There’s a small hop to his steps and you realize just how much you actually miss him.

“I don’t hate you.” You say this mostly to yourself but Jungkook hears it. He holds back the smile that creeps up to his lips, clearing his throat to break the tension between you two.

As much as you enjoyed having him around, your mind starts to go on overdrive. It has literally been years since the two of you hung out like this, so what’s with the sudden change? Losing touch with him was one of the worst things to have ever happened to you and you’re not sure if you ever want to experience that again. All those times of wondering what went wrong and blaming yourself for not being good enough of a friend came flashing back, causing you to stop on your tracks. It takes Jungkook a second to notice that you’ve trailed behind him before he turns to you. “You alright Y/N?”

“Why are you doing this?” Your eyes stay glued to the ground as you fidget on the sleeves of your robes, a habit of yours whenever you were nervous and Jungkook was quick to notice this.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t walked me back to my dorm in 2 years. Why are you doing this?” Jungkook remains silent. The truth is he knew exactly why, but he didn't know what took him so long to do so. Disappointed in his lack of his response, you trudge past him.

“Forget it, I can walk back from here. You can go.” You don’t even spare him a glance as you make your way down the stairs to the dungeon. Jungkook remains frozen in his spot as he watches your figure disappear before him, smacking the side of his head in annoyance. He may be confident and self-assured when it comes to quidditch, but dealing with you was a whole other ball game. He glances to his wristwatch before sprinting down the hallway to his Transfiguration class, which he purposely skipped on to accompany you to your dorm.

You couldn’t sleep that night. It was 2am and you have been tossing and turning in your bed for an hour now, causing a few groans and complaints from your roommates. You knew there was no point in trying to get some sleep so you quickly grab your sweater and broomstick before quietly sneaking out of the common room. After years of learning Mr. Filch’s schedule, you knew he was probably wandering around the Ravenclaw Tower by now.

Sneaking off to the quidditch pitch was something you frequently did whenever you felt troubled and needed a place to clear your mind. Something about being in that enclosed field just puts your mind at ease, whether it be flying around it or sitting on the bleachers. You make your way to the center of the pitch and look up at the towering rings that used to intimidate you. With the stars out in the midnight sky, it takes you back to the first time you and Jungkook snuck out here past curfew hours as curious first year students.

“Woah, they’re so much taller than i thought!” You practically gawk at the sky high goal posts. “Can you imagine flying any higher than that?”

“Please, one day I’m gonna fly soooo far up the sky, I bet you I can grab a star,” Jungkook muses, crossing his arms over his chest in fake arrogance.

“Don’t be ridiculous, that’s impossible,” you shake your head at the absurdity of his words.

“You underestimate my skills Y/N! Mark my words, one day I’m gonna grab all the stars in the sky and give them to you.” The confidence in his voice was so endearing, you unconsciously held onto the promise.

“Learn how to fly better than me first,” you playfully shove him before running across the field, having him chase after you.

Mr. Filch catches you two that night, landing both of you a whole week of detention. You smile at the bittersweet memory as you position yourself on your broomstick. How naive were you back then to assume he’d remain in your life forever. People eventually grow apart, you know this now as you soar above the quidditch pitch and fail to reach for a star.

It’s been a week since you last spoke to Jungkook and you rarely get to see him nowadays. The only times you did were during lunch and dinner in the great hall or in some of your shared classes. He was avoiding you, you knew that much, but you couldn't understand why it left a hole in your chest. This wasn’t anything new to you. Both of you rarely exchanged words with one another ever since you drifted apart, but to see him purposely avoid you bothered you more than you would like to admit.

“Y/N,” Seulgi snaps her fingers across your face to get your attention. You have been zoning out again.

“Hm?”

“Your potion,” You glance down to your cauldron to see its liquids overflowing and spilling on your work desk. You quickly grab the washcloth to clean up your mess, a bit irritated at how you screwed up.

“What’s gotten into you lately? It’s not like you to space out like that,” you can hear the worry in Seulgi’s voice but quickly dismiss her with a wave of your hand.

“It’s nothing, just didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

“I know, I hear you sneak out from time to time,” Seulgi helps you out with your potion, scanning through her textbook to read the ingredients. “You know you can talk to me if anything’s bothering you, right?” Your friends know you well enough to know that you cringe at sentiments, so you can’t help but chuckle at how passive Seulgi was trying to be at comforting you, not even sparing you a glance as she adds ingredients into your cauldron.

“I know.” You’re grateful for your friends. As much as you hated relying on other people for your problems, which was called out to be such a Slytherin trait of yours, it was nice knowing someone had your back. Besides, you weren’t going to let some boy bring your mood down like this. You were better than that. You swore from that day on that you were over the whole Jungkook situation. You were sure of it.

At least you thought you were.

Which was why you were surprised to see him two days later, waiting for you outside your common room.

“Jungkook?” He looks up at the sound of your voice and smiles as he walks up to you and Seulgi. “What are you doing here?”

“Our timetables match today so I thought we could go to class together,” he quickly glances over to Seulgi, slightly dipping his head. “May I borrow your friend for the day?”

“We actually made plans-”

“Right! I, uh, actually have to meet up with Wendy for this thing, we have, going on,” Seulgi sends you a knowing look. “You guys go ahead! I’ll see you at lunch?” she spares you no second to reply, side hugging you before speed walking down the hallway.

“I still find it weird how your dorm is literally next to the dungeons,” Jungkook leans down to whisper to your ear, causing you to jump back a bit. “Like c’mon, Salazar could’ve chosen a homier spot,”

“Why are you doing this?” This time, you were hoping for an actual answer. Cause honestly, you were mad, pissed even at how Jungkook thinks he could just approach you like this- like he hasn’t been avoiding you these past few days. But even as you glare at him, a small part of you is happy to see him. He keeps his calm composure and takes a step closer to you, careful not to break eye contact.

“I wanna do things right this time.”

You ponder at this for a second. “What does that even-”

“But that means you can’t ask questions,” he flashes you that stupid grin of his, before snatching your books from your hands. “Now let’s go! We’re gonna miss our first class!”

You choose not to question him since you were already confused as it is, but you must admit that the small gesture of him carrying your things warmed your heart. Jungkook seemed to be a lot more chatty this time, going on and on about his group of friends and the many shenanigans they’ve been up to. You recognized Yoongi and Jimin since they were in the same house as you and even spoke to the latter one a couple of times since he was your team’s seeker. You pretend to be disinterested in his stories when really you’ve been noting down every single detail in your head, piecing together what makes Jungkook the boy he is today. He’s grown more confident over the years and you can see it in the way he walks with his head held high, in every diction of his words, and how he isn’t afraid to voice out his opinions. It was nothing like the shy little kid who used to tail behind you all the time and had a stutter when he spoke- it was a whole new better version of him.

Jungkooks sits next to you in all your shared classes, pestering you in every way he can but still being careful not to cross the line. Every side comment he whispers earns him a smack or pinch on the arm, but you can’t help but laugh every single time. He kept you company through the dull lectures, casting little charms under your desk for entertainment. You watch as he whispers an incantation to the bird origami he folded just a few minutes ago, seeing it slowly flutter its wings. He picks it up and softly blows it towards your face. Your eyes follow the flying piece of paper in amusement as it floats above your head. How have you not heard of this charm before? The paper bird lands on Jungkook’s outstretched hand and he has this smug look on his face you can’t exactly read.

“What?”

“You're smiling.” He gestures to your lips. “It suits you. You should do that more often.”

It takes you a second to realize that there’s a little ache on your cheeks from grinning, and another second to completely wipe out the expression from your face. “You say that as if I have a permanent bitch face on me.”

He laughs. “Not at all. Let me rephrase that then. You should smile more often around me.”

You roll your eyes to hide the fact that you know that wouldn’t be too hard to do.

This goes on for another week and it’s been nothing but fun. The two of you have gotten more comfortable with each other and unconsciously settled in a routine. Jungkook continues to meet you outside your dorm everyday, dropping you off to your classrooms whenever he can. He eventually got you to agree on having lunch with him at least two times a week, just enough times so that you both can still hang out with your own sets of friends.

Although this doesn’t stop Jungkook from introducing them to you. When he asked you to meet up with him in the Clock Tower Courtyard, he didn’t mention six other boys would be tagging along. Just as you were about to make a run for it, he catches you before you can and obnoxiously yells out your name. Yeah, definitely can’t hide now.

If it weren’t for the obvious excitement in his eyes, you wouldn’t be walking towards the fountain they were gathered in. He introduces them to you and most of them were pretty welcoming (you can’t say the same for Yoongi and Namjoon though). It flattered you how Jungkook wanted to include you in this part of his life. It was something else witnessing it first hand. Seven boys from different Houses? You’d expect a clash of different personalities that will result in endless arguments and disagreements, but instead, they mix together beautifully.

You’re grateful Jungkoook has them. He grew up with the best kinds of people.

Then a thought crosses your mind. You could say he was living an almost perfect life right now. If your fall out with Jungkook led him to these people, to be the confident guy he is today, then maybe it was for the best. Maybe you don’t regret it a single bit.

Maybe you were holding him back this whole time.

Maybe he’s better off without you.

The thought alone leaves a bitter taste on your tongue and effectively changes your whole mood for the rest of the day. Luckily, you didn’t have any plans with Jungkook after classes so you use this time wisely; to mope around. What better way to deal with your whirlwind of mentions than by wallowing in self-pity?

Wendy seems to think otherwise.

“Y/N, you better start making some bloody sense.”

“Enough of this please.”

“Not until you explain to me why you’re acting this way!” A distant shush is heard and Wendy is suddenly reminded that you’re both in the library. She speaks in a quieter tone this time but you can still hear the annoyance through her gritted teeth.

“I just don’t get it. I specifically don't get you.”

“Well I didn’t ask you to meet me here to be understood. I just needed a friend to talk to, but clearly you don’t get that.” You continue to scribble down notes onto your parchment paper and try to block out any more of Wendy’s interrogation. You can tell she’s hurt from what you said but this definitely wasn’t the response you were expecting when you decided on opening up to her. You came to the conclusion that ending whatever it is you have with Jungkook will be beneficial to both of you and you expected Wendy to be on board with this. But apparently she is strongly against it.

“Y/N listen to me,” she snatches the quill from your hand and you knew better than to argue with her. “I’m not gonna pretend I know exactly what’s going on in that stubborn head of yours but you better learn how to come to terms with your feelings immediately or you’re gonna end up hurting someone,” she tosses the quill back to you before standing up to leave, but you don’t miss the last words she murmurs.

“Maybe even yourself.”

You hate it when she reads you like a book and especially hate it when you know she’s right. It doesn’t take a genius to know that you’re growing more attached to Jungkook by the second. Things are slowly going back to the way they were, but for what? A setup for more disappointment? You’ve convinced yourself that Jungkook doesn’t really need you in his life, so why is he trying to get you back in it? You’re afraid you know the answer to that already.

“Want some?” Jungkook’s mouth is stuffed with sweets as he hands you a box of chocolates. You eye it suspiciously. It was neatly decorated with pink sparkly wrappings and a red ribbon around it.

“Not when it looks like it’s tampered with some sort of love potion.” You lean away from it and Jungkook chuckles.

“Nah, I had Namjoon check it for me. We’re on the clear,” he continues to pop more of them between his lips. There’s a paper stuck to the box’s lid and you could easily make up the cursive writings on it.

‘Dear Jungkook

My heart only beats for you. Go to the Ball with me?

xoxo Arabella’

The thought of him receiving love letters and gifts bothered you a lot more than you hoped, which is rather stupid cause you can clearly see why. Jungkook is a very dateable guy after all. Did I just say that?

“Arabella huh? The cute redhead from Gryffindor?”

“I mean I guess she’s cute,” Jungkook continues to talk with a mouthful of chocolates. “A lil’ too quirky for my taste though. And she always stares at me in the common room! It’s very unsettling,” he shudders at the memory but is quick to notice the slight scowl on your face.

“Why? You jealous?” there’s a hint of tease to the way he says it and you scoff.

“Absolutely not.”

He laughs as you both continue to walk to the Great Hall. You weren’t supposed to have lunch together until next week but you found it easy to persuade Jungkook into making this exception. It pains you a bit to see how happy this made him when you were already composing the few sentences that will ultimately break this friendship in your head. This only lasts a second until you convince yourself that this will be much harder for you than it ever will be for him.

“So the Celestial Ball is in two days.”

“Yep, it sure is.”

“You have a date yet?”

“Nope.” You sigh in disinterest. You never thought much into having a date. As long as there’s good food, good music, and the company of your friends, you’re sold. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have someone in mind.

“Really? So you said no to Seokmin?” He seemed genuinely surprised and somewhat.. relieved?

“Not really. I just haven’t gotten the chance to talk to him.”

“So.. you’d say yes?”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake just worry about your own date!” You roll your eyes. “But I’m guessing you’d be going with Arabella?”

Jungkook frowns. “Do you think I should?” The question dangled carefully from his lips with hesitance. You can’t point it out exactly but it's like he was expecting a specific answer from you.

“Why should my opinion matter? It’s not like I’m your best friend or anything.” This comes out harsher than you intended and halts Jungkook in his tracks.

“Where the hell did that from?” He says this like it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. But wasn’t it simply the truth? You try not to let his clear frustration get to you.

“Look, you can stop this whole ‘making amends with your old friend’ thing you’ve been doing. I don’t need a friend out of pity. That was two years ago and I no longer hold a grudge against you. Shit happens. We’ve changed since then. You’ve changed.”

He scoffs. “And that’s all on me, huh?” he takes a step closer until he’s only inches away from your face. “Everything that has ever gone wrong with us is all because of me. Is that what you’re trying to say?” Jungkook has never raised his voice at you until now. For once you were actually scared of him.

“I never said..”

“You changed too Y/N! Yet I never held that against you,” he was practically seething at this point. “I never once blamed your personal choices for getting in between our friendship, cause they were all for you! Even after you started spending less time with me out of nowhere, I just thought of it as you being your independent self. You think I wanted this to happen to us?”

You’re at loss for words. Up until now, neither of you have ever spoken about this. It was sort of a silent agreement to pretend that there wasn’t this looming tension between you two. You should’ve known one of you was bound to slip at some point. No one dares to speak up, both waiting for the other to say something, anything to end this.

“Is that really what you think this is?” His hand gestures between you two. “Is this really just some sort of compensation to you? That I’m doing this out of pity?" Your lack of denial forces him to believe so.

Every muscle in him was aching for you to reassure him that this past week meant just as much to you as it did to him. That he wasn’t clouded by the fake judgment that things were going extremely well. There’s a pleading look in his eyes when a voice interrupts you two.

“Y/N!” Seokmin runs up to you, completely oblivious. “Have you gotten my owl? I've been trying to reach you this whole week but never heard back from you! I was starting to worry.” It amazed you how dense someone could be. Jungkook doesn’t even spare him a glance as he continues to stare you down.

“Guess you never really knew me after all,” and with a twist of his heel, he walks away, discarding the box of chocolates to the nearest bin. What a waste of food.

You knew you should’ve chased after him. Jungkook may be a brat at times but he would never act on things irrationally. If you were to explain everything to him, this just might have ended on a better note.

But neither of that happens as you let him slip away from your life for the second time.

“I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?” You can see the slight guilt in Seokmin’s eyes so you force yourself to smile at him.

“It’s nothing. Oh gosh I haven’t visited the owlery recently, your letters are probably still there! I’m really sorry,” and you genuinely were. But you just found it hard to care at the moment with Jungkook’s words still echoing at the back of your head.

Seokmin chuckles. “Hey, don’t worry about it. No harm done.” He looks at you pointedly. “But you still owe me an answer Y/N.”

You don’t doubt for a second that you would enjoy yourself if you were to go with him to the ball. Seokmin was known for being the light of the party with his funny antics and humor, anyone would be lucky to have him as a date.

You stare at yourself through the mirror, eyeing the emerald green cloth flow just above your ankles. You thought you looked pretty decent. To finish the look, you decide to tie your hair up into a ponytail to keep any loose strands from falling to your face.

Seulgi walks in the room dressed in a red mermaid dress that compliments her figure. She has her hair styled down and makeup done naturally. The ball isn’t for another two hours and she already looks ready to go. Her eyes immediately land on you, specifically on what you’re wearing.

“Um, you do know there’s a formal dress code, right?” She laughs nervously, hoping what she’s seeing is a practical joke. “Y/N please tell me you just got back from practice or something.” She scans the quidditch gear that covers you from top to bottom. This definitely wasn’t the dress you bought together in Diagon Alley before the year started.

“I’m not going Seulgi, I already told you this.”

“Nooo! You can’t ditch me and Wendy like this!”

“Don’t you guys have dates?” You quirk an eyebrow at her. “If anyone’s getting ditched, it'll be me if I attend the ball.”

“It’s not my fault you rejected Seokmin,” She sits on the edge of your bed. “And I promise I’ll ditch Teddy for you if you ever get bored, so can you pretty pretty pleeeease go with us?” She sprawls herself across your bedding and flashes you the saddest puppy dog eyes she could muster. You laugh and throw a pillow to her face.

“Nice try, but still no.”

“God you’re impossible.” Seulgi pushes herself up and walks to your closet. You glance back to the mirror as you tighten the straps of your quidditch gloves. A quick drill around the pitch will probably be enough to get your mind off everything.

After rummaging through your pile of clothes, Seulgi finds the piece of garment she was looking for. She pulls out a black sheath dress and holds it up close to your face.

“When I come back, you better be out of that uniform and in this beautiful dress I oh-so-carefully picked out for you, okay?” She shoves the clothing to your hands, flashing you a grin before darting towards the door. “Five minutes, Y/N! Then I’ll do your hair and makeup.”

You open your mouth to protest when Seulgi slams the dorm behind her. God she could be so pushy sometimes. The dress feels soft against your fingers as you lay it out across your bed to get a good look at it. Its sleeves are off shouldered with a modest slit on the skirt that ends just by the knee. Aside from the little lace patterns around the waistline, the dress is completely plain. It’s the perfect evening gown for you. Seulgi has a good eye for clothes, you must admit that.

It probably wouldn’t hurt to just try it on...

Two hours later, you’re standing near the entrance to the great hall with an overexcited Seulgi clinging onto your arm. Students dressed in suits and gowns slowly start to pack the venue, meeting up with their friends and partners and you unknowingly become more anxious at the thought of bumping into Jungkook.

“Over here!” Seulgi waves a hand to the sea of people and a guy maneuvers around them to get to you.

“Hello,” The boy you recognized as Teddy Lupin smiles, leaning in to hug Seulgi. “I’m glad you can make it!” he adds to you.

“My friend here can be very persuasive.”

Seulgi grins. “Damn right I am. So, shall we?”

The walls of the Great Hall had all been covered in velvety midnight blue textiles with silver sparkles that resemble those of stars, decorating them from top to bottom. The House tables had vanished; instead, there were about a hundred smaller, lantern-lit ones, each seating about a dozen people. Over your heads, thousands of candles were floating mid air and the enchanted ceiling no longer resembled the sky outside. Instead, it was filled with constellations and planets you learned about in Astronomy class. The three of you stare up at them in astonishment when Wendy sneaks up from behind you.

“Pretty cool huh?” she nods her head towards the ceiling. “I persuaded Professor McGonagall into letting the decorating committee change the view for the night. This place just didn’t scream ‘celestial’ to me before that.”

You’re still gazing at the ceiling when you reply. “Woah Wendy, you guys did a really good job with this place.”

“I know, I know, no need to flatter me,” she jokes. “Come on you guys, I still haven’t introduced to you my date!”

Of course Wendy was able to land herself a date and it wasn’t a surprise to you that it was with Mark, the guy she has been crushing on for months now. Their attires even matched in sapphire blue color and you were pleased to see how much they got along.

You didn't want to admit it, but you ended up having a blast that night. Your friends kept you company the whole time, being sure to include you in their conversations with their dates, who you found to be very friendly. You silently thank Seulgi in your head cause if it weren’t for her, you would be missing out on all this fun.

Across the room, you see Seokmin occupying a table with his friends. He took things well when you rejected his date proposal and made sure there weren’t any hard feelings between you two after that. His eyes meet yours and he sends you a smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to him. Turns out he ended up going dateless as well. He mouths the words ‘this could’ve been you’, making you laugh.

You’re glad things are okay between you two, but you wished you could say the same for Jungkook.

Come to think of it, you haven't seen that boy at all tonight.

Where is he anyway?

“Let’s dance!!” You watch your friends pull their partners with them to the end of the hall where a band was performing on stage. Dinner has ended and everyone is now up on their feet and headed to the dance floor. Seulgi gestures for you to join them but you instead wave a hand for them to go ahead.

“I’ll join you guys later! Just gonna go get some fresh air,” you practically yell over the thumping music before walking towards the entrance hall.

You stop just past the ceiling high doors when the music fades into faint beats. As you step away from the crowd of people, you let out a breath you’ve unknowingly been holding in. A cold breeze brushes against your skin, causing you to shiver. If you knew it was going to be chilly you would’ve brought a cloak with you or something.

“Need a jacket?” You’re surprised to see Jungkook’s friend standing next to you, offering you his blazer in his outstretched hand.

You shake your head. “I’m alright, thank you.”

“Y/N right?” He slings his blazer over his shoulders. “I’m sorry I’m really bad with names.”

“That’s me. And you’re Taehyung?”

He nods and shoots you a boxy grin. You both say nothing else after that and stand together in silence for a few minutes, turning to look back at the party every once in a while.

“He was looking for you, you know.”

“Jungkook’s here?”

“Well, was. He left right after dinner.” Taehyung turns to face you when u remain silent.

“He talks about you a lot you know, even way back when I first got acquainted with him.”

“Nothing too bad I hope,” you muster a small laugh to hide how nervous you are.

He shakes his head. “No no, he always gushes about how close you guys were and how you’re the reason he even plays quidditch in the first place.”

You finally face him, eyes wide in shock. “He said that?” Taehyung simply nods.

“Yeah, you clearly meant a great deal to him if any of the stuff he told me was something to go by,” Taehyung turns to face the open doors of the Great Hall and his eyes immediately land on someone.

“You know, out of all the guys I'm probably the one who relates with him the most.”

“Oh yeah? And why is that?”

He shrugs. “Let’s just say I know what it’s like to pine for someone so clueless.”

You cock a questioning brow at him. When he doesn’t acknowledge your reaction, you follow his gaze which lands on a girl with her back facing you two.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Jungkook’s a good guy, and unlike me, he’s not afraid to act on his feelings,” Taehyung smiles at you, bringing a hand up to ruffle your hair. “You guys should talk things out.”

The brotherly gesture warms your heart and you knew he was right. You owe it to Jungkook to explain everything that’s been on your mind- to finally come to terms with your own feelings.

“I don’t even know where he is,” you look down in dismay.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” and with one quick nudge of his elbow, he walks back to the party, glancing back at you after a few steps. “He’s a pretty predictable guy.”

Catching onto his subtle hint, you quickly thank him before sprinting down the corridor.

Being in the stands had a different kind of excitement to it. From where Jungkook was seated, he could see the landscape of the field that somehow seemed larger than usual compared to when he’s up flying around it. He starts to play scenes from old matches in his head, including the very first game he had against you.

You. The thought he had been trying to suppress the whole day.

It certainly didn’t help seeing you in the ball, all dressed up and happy despite the argument you two had only a few days back. He also hated to admit how pleased he was to see you without a date, as if he stood any chance with you to begin with.

“Why does she have to be so stubborn,” he breathes out to himself, chuckling at the situation he’s found himself in.

But he knew he had his faults. He felt that he shouldn’t have been so harsh on you that day. If he were being honest, he didn’t even know how things led to that. It’s as if something snapped in him, like everything he had pent up inside came rushing out. He was better than that. Not once has he ever let his emotions get the best of him like that.

It’s crazy how much you can affect him like this.

“I thought you’d be here.”

For a moment, Jungkook believes he’s hallucinating when he sees you standing a few rows down from where he sat. Only when you cautiously take a seat next to him is when he realizes that this is all very much real. Suddenly hyper aware of your presence, Jungkook sits upright and clears his throat.

“Boring party?”

“Oh not at all. I took advantage of the unlimited meals then dipped.”

Jungkook laughs and you’re convinced it's the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

“I actually pocketed some of the flavored beans on our table,” he fishes them out from his dress robe and shows them to you. “Want one?”

You can’t help but giggle at the sight of him pulling out colorful beans from his dapper attire, as if it were the most normal thing to do. “Sure, but you know how bad my luck is when it comes to picking out the good flavors.”

“Hmm sucks to be you huh?” Jungkook smirks.

You both pick out a jelly bean from the bunch, clicking them together before popping them into your mouths. You’re pleased to taste cherries coat your tongue and clasp your hands together.

“I didn’t get a vomit flavoured one!”

You look over to Jungkook and see him grimace, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “That was definitely booger…”

You burst into a fit of laughter, throwing your body back and unknowingly lean on Jungkook’s shoulder. He frowns down at you but it contradicts the pink shade that began to taint his cheeks.

The two of you spend the rest of the night laughing and poking fun at each other, which later on settled into small conversations. The winter air makes itself known once more as it blows past you, making you shiver and the goosebumps on your arms rise. Jungkook notices this and quickly takes his coat off, draping them over your shoulders without acknowledging it. He knew you’d refuse the gesture if he did.

Suddenly you felt ashamed. Even after lashing out on him, Jungkook chose to be civil with you and act as if nothing happened. He could’ve easily gotten up and left as soon as he saw you yet here he is, still making you happy without fail.

You’ve decided that you’re done avoiding confrontation.

A moment of silence fills the air as your eyes meet.

“I’m sorry”

You both chorus at the same time. Jungkook chuckles, gesturing for you to continue. “Ladies first.”

Despite the cool weather, your palms clam up out of nerves as you focus on the unsteady beat of your heart. Wiping off the sweat against your skirt, you build up the courage to voice out the next words you’re about to say.

“Up until recently, I never realized how much I blamed you for our ‘falling-out’. I’ve convinced myself that the sole reason you and I were no longer friends was because you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore- or that I wasn’t cool enough to be your friend. Cause, well, I am pretty boring if you ask me,”

There’s a subtle tremble to your voice as you go on and you skillfully mask this with unnecessary arm gestures as you speak. At this very moment, Jungkook has never been more endeared. Maybe he’s always been this smitten, but seeing you ramble on all nervous around him, he can’t seem to fight the smile that sneaks onto his lips.

“but that's where I went wrong. I let my insecurities get the best of me and affect our friendship, relationship, or whatever it is we have going on-”

“You think there’s something going on between us?” Jungkook cuts you off mid babble. There’s a hint of playfulness in his tone and it takes you a second to catch onto his insinuations. You smack his arm.

“I’m being serious!” Your brows knit together in mock annoyance and Jungkook laughs, reaching a hand out to rest it on top of yours. “I’m sorry I’m sorry, please continue.”

You glance at your joined hands on your lap, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your palm. Now that you think about it, Jungkook has always been more physical in his love language and that may be why you guys got along so well. You were never really great with words, much less receiving them, and so was Jungkook. It was always either tight hugs or a shoulder to cry on whenever he would comfort you. But with the way Jungkook’s ears turn red, you can’t help but think that maybe there was more to those innocent touches.

“I had a lot of self-doubts, especially after spending so much time with you these past couple of days. I guess you could say I was intimidated? You just seemed better off with this new life you had without me. I don’t know- I just didn’t see a reason for you to want me back in it.”

Jungkook doesn’t speak but he keeps his eyes trained on you. He has his lips pressed in a thin line, clearly processing everything you just poured out to him. Sometimes you wonder if he knew he had this affect on you, cause most times you don’t even realize it yourself. You never really understood why a part of you would get all flustered over the menial things he did, but you have a pretty good guess lingering at the back of your head.

“You think too much.” This is the only response he gives you before you snatch your hands away from his grasp.

“E-excuse me??” You didn’t really know what to expect for a response, but this certainly wasn’t one of it. Jungkook clicks his tongue as he brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if the answer was blaring right in front of you.

“Y/N, I never wanted you out of my life in the first place,” he says as a matter of fact. “and I hate how I let it happen. I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but the attention people gave me was so new and to be honest, I enjoyed it,” Jungkook pauses, leaning back with palms resting on either side of him. “You knew how shy I was back then and I wasn’t really confident in myself. Funnily enough, I was also intimidated by you,” he chuckles mostly to himself. “I wanted to be more than this timid kid who stuck by your hip 24/7. I wanted my quidditch skills to be recognized, to show people what I’m made of, and even though I got that in the end, I let you down in the process.”

He was intimidated by you? The Jeon Jungkook felt this way around you? It’s almost laughable how similar your thought process was this entire time. “Well shit, I guess we’re both stupid.”

Jungkook laughs and you watch as his eyes crinkle up. You always found that facial asset of his attractive.

“It also didn’t help how I had this big crush on you. Yes, I was this prepubescent boy trying so hard to impress y-”

“You what?” If you were a cartoon, your eyes would be popping out of its sockets right now. He liked me?

Jungkook finally looks at you with an arched brow. “Wait, you never knew?”

You practically scoff. “I’m not a damn mind reader!” You debate on whether you should ask what’s on your mind before giving in. “But.. had? As in, it’s in the past?”

You regret your question almost immediately when this playful smirk graces Jungkook's lips. It looked as if he was waiting for this exact moment the whole night. He sits up and turns his body to face you so you’re forced to look back at him. Jungkook leans dangerously close that you could smell his cologne from where he sat. “What do you think?” he asks in a lower register.

At this point, you can’t help the annoyance that flashes across your face. Why does he keep beating around the bush? Did he like making you this flustered? It takes a lot out of you to shove him back by the chest with an irritated huff. Literally anyone could get lost in those beautiful eyes of his. “That’s why I asked, genius.”

Jungkook grins as he was sure you weren’t as mad as you made yourself to be. This was the front you always had with everyone but he could see right through you. He admires this tough exterior of yours, but must admit that he enjoys breaking them down even more.

“I have something for you,” Jungkook completely changes the course of the conversation but your curiosity gets the better of you when you see him reaching for something in his pant pockets. Before he pulls the mystery item out, he looks at you. “but you should have your eyes closed.”

Too tired to fight back, you do as he says. “You better not be pulling out your wand to hex me or something.”

He giggles before it goes silent again. A few seconds pass and you think that he might have just up and left you alone in the bleachers. Before you could open your eyes to confirm this, you feel a cold, metallic sphere being placed on your right palm. You look down to see it’s a golden snitch.

“It’s not much but i’ve been wanting to give this to you for a while now. I found it in my room while I was cleaning some stuff out.”

“You stole this from the storage room?”

“Of course not!” Jungkook says defensively. “...Professor McGonagall caught me going through Madam Hooch’s things and let me keep it when I confessed.”

“That’s it?” You try to coax the whole story out, knowing full well Professor is not that forgiving.

“...She also gave me 2 weeks worth of detention.” This gets you to laugh, though you couldn’t help but wonder what’s so important about this golden snitch that he had to go through all that just to retrieve it. As if he’s read your mind, or from the way you were intently studying the ball, he continues. “Do you remember our first match against each other? During our 2nd year?”

You groan inwardly at this. “Yeah, your team won.”

“Because?” Jungkook eggs you on.

You openly glare at him this time, venom lacing into your response. “Because I committed Snitchnip*.”

Jungkook grins triumphantly at your admission. “Still don’t get how you made such mistake.” It amuses him how competitive you could get over such little things, but it was one of your many charms he was drawn into. He reaches out to teasingly pinch your cheek. From this close proximity, he notices the light makeup applied on your face- eyelids covered in a light brown hue and lips a darker shade of red. Not that you needed any to begin with in his opinion, but you looked exceptionally beautiful tonight. Has he mentioned that to you? He thought now wasn’t the right time to bring it up though. “There there, it’s all in the past. And besides, you’ve improved a lot since then.”

“Yeah cause I forced you to practice with me every night after that incident,” you smile at the memory. It didn’t matter at the time that you and Jungkook were from opposing teams that were known to rarely get along. All you knew was that you enjoyed training with him more than anyone, including your own teammates. You convince yourself that it was because he was the most challenging player to go against, but truthfully you just genuinely enjoyed his company. “So, is this the ball that made me lose?”

Jungkook hums in agreement before grabbing the golden snitch from your hand. “You know how these things have flesh memory, right?”

You nod. “That’s how they knew I caught it, by accident,” you emphasize the last two words.

“And which hand did you say caught it?”

You wondered where this was going. “Well I didn’t, but my left one.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheeks as he loosens his grip on the golden snitch until his palm is laid out flat. The snitch’s wings appear and slowly fly up, hovering just by his eye level. He turns to face you and gestures towards the ball. “I don’t know if it’ll work but, try grabbing it with your left hand.”

Despite the many questions you have, you do as you are told. Jungkook seemed nervous about this that you couldn’t help but anticipate what’s to happen next. Once it’s within your grasp, you look at Jungkook expectantly. This makes him giggle, his hand shyly rubbing the back of his nape. “It’s no star, but I hope it gets the message across.”

You’re about to ask what he meant by that when it suddenly hits you.

“One day I’m gonna grab all the stars in the sky and give them to you.”

You bring the golden snitch up with your left hand and study it once more. With a single swipe of your thumb against its center, enchanted writings start to appear.

“You shine brighter than anyone else,” you murmur the words to yourself.

“Too cheesy?” Jungkook quips nervously in an attempt to lessen the tension he’s built for himself. “I was actually worried the words won’t show up. You know, Seokjin taught me this enchantment just last week! They only appear when the snitch is in contact with it’s first touch. I didn’t think I could pull it off this well but oh thank Merlin it worked. I still feel like I could’ve gone with a better quote, but the guys said this was already good.”

His words have faded into white noise as you continue to stare at the writings engraved on the snitch. You can feel your heart swell up in happiness, excitement, literally every emotion in the book. He put so much thought into this gift and he dares say that it ‘isn’t much’? He could’ve given you a stone with a heart carved on it and you’d still think it was the sweetest thing ever.

You liked him. God, you liked him so much. How are you only realizing this now? Now that’s a lie, you knew you’ve had these feelings for him for a while now and you’ve been denying yourself of this for the longest time. It almost frustrates you how long it took for you to admit this to yourself. At this point, you knew you were openly staring at him with eyes filled with adoration, but he doesn’t seem to notice this as he is still rambling on.

“This also kinda answers the whole past or present question you had for me right? Ugh, I swear I could’ve dealt with this better if I wasn’t such a wuss back then. But hey, I’m here now pouring this all out to you and ready to get my heart stomped on and broken into a million pieces so please be gentle when you completely reject me-”

You shut him up the only way you seem fit at the moment. You press your lips against his and he visibly freezes. It seemed as if he forgot how to breathe, remaining completely still. Your confidence falters at this but just when you are about to pull away, Jungkook’s cups your cheek and kisses you back this time. His touch is feather light against your skin but it creates this huge wave of warmth inside of you- you were literally melting under his touch. His lips were warm and soft but would also slightly quiver as they glided against your own. You felt relieved to know that he was just as nervous as you are as it never crossed your mind that this was all new to him as well.

Jungkook on the other hand was on cloud nine. It was all too good to be true that even as he was kissing you, he found it hard to believe that any of this was really happening. He slowly pulls away from the kiss to look at you, the hand on your cheek moving to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Yep, this is real.

“Does this mean you like me back?” You both laugh at his question, foreheads resting against each other as you continue to look into each other's eyes.

“What do you think?” you imitate him, causing him to chuckle as he pulls you in for a hug. This better not be some wild jinx casted on him because he swears he’s never been this happy. Luck was definitely on his side today.

A roar of cheers echo the walls of the Great Hall. Students are crowded around the Gryffindor table, chanting the house name while waving their scarves and flags. As you push past them, you see the winning team celebrating with Jungkook, his teammates congratulating him with pats on the back and hair ruffles here and there. Amongst the commotion, he spots you as you smile at him and quickly excuses himself from the team. As he runs up to you, the students stand back to make way for him. Having everyone’s eyes on you two made you a bit uneasy, but this was eased off almost immediately when Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground as he spins you around.

“Hey! Put me down, people are staring,” you say through giggles. Jungkook listens and carefully places you back on your feet but still keeps his arms around you.

“Sorry, I was just happy to see my girl cheer for me.” The petname makes you blush and Jungkook flashes that boyish grin of his. He has gotten a lot more cheesier ever since you started exclusively dating, you weren’t sure if you could handle much more.

“You do know this means you’re up against Slytherin for finals next week, right?” you tilt your head to the side and feign cluelessness.

Jungkook is quick to match your taunt. “U-huh, and I don’t plan on losing this time.”

In losing battles, you have to admit to defeat and surrender, just like how you’ve completely given in to Jungkook and let him win you over. But that doesn’t me you’re always going to go easy on him.

“Neither do I,” you retort back with a smirk.

*Snitchnip - a Quidditch foul that occurs when any player other than the Seeker catches or touches the Golden Snitch.

A/N: first story of the hogwarts series is finally up and its starring bestest boi koo! this took me longer than expected and the ending feels kind of rushed but i hope you guys like it! if this story ends up doing well, i might even post a mini jungkook pov :>

#bts hogwarts au #jungkook #fluff #angst #bts au #bts drabble #bts imagine #jungkook au #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook drabble #fanfic #jjk #jeon jungkook #minkoobi fics

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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years

Text

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31

_________________________

Pt 31 - Commission Issues

As you zoned out looking at the sky and wondering about the possibilities of what would come next you hear Luther call out behind you,

"Five!"

Coming back to reality you turn towards the sound and watch as Luther follows Five back into the apartment building. You decide to follow them as well but not before looking at Klaus and Ben on the ground and say,

"Whatever that was, I'm going to ignore it but you two need to figure out where the others went while I help Five with whatever idea he has next, okay?"

"Uhh...sure" Klaus groans as he stands up

"Fine, we will," Ben adds

You nod your head and turn around rushing to follow the two boys who were heading inside the building. As you followed them up the staircase you could hear Luther exclaim,

"Hey! Five, doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."

"Don't you get it, Luther? It's over, all right? We're already dead." Five complains

"Then where are you going?" Luther questions

"I'm going to do the unthinkable." Five replies frustratedly "The hell is that supposed to mean?" Luther follows up

As the three of you enter the apartment you hear Five mumble to himself, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."

With that, he enters what used to be Elliott's bedroom and shuts and locks the door behind him. Luther leans up against it knocking and yelling, "Come to what, Five? Five! Come to what? Five!"

Luther bangs on the door calling out Five's name over and over again to no response. You step next to Luther and when he looks down at you, you say,

"Let me talk to him."

Luther nods at you knowing that you were probably the best option to talk to him. If anybody was going to calm down and reason with him, it was going to be you. As Luther walks away to the living room portion of the apartment, you phase through the bedroom door. Once you enter, you watch as Five paces back and forth complaining to himself,

"All we had to do was get together on time. That was it! those idiots screw everything up."

"Five..." You say

"I do everything to try and save us from impending doom and I can't even rely on them for the simplest of tasks!" He continues to complain

"Five." You try again

"I bet they'll blame it all on me again too!"

"Five!" You call out grabbing his hand

Five stops pacing and his head snaps towards you.

"What?!" He snapped

You were taken aback by his outburst, your eyes going wide at the harsh tone of his voice. You could see the frustration on his face and the anger in his eyes. You knew deep down that he was just worried, but sometimes his emotions didn't come easy and it hurt you to see him so upset.

Five was done with the constant threat of the apocalypse. With not being listened to and with plan after plan to get everyone home failing. He wanted to run away from it all but then he saw the shocked look on your face, and his mind flashed back to all those years ago when you both were children. He recalled the anger and frustration he felt at his father not listening to him and not believing in his ability to time travel. The rage that burned inside him because things had not gone the way he wanted. And he remembered the way you held onto him and the shocked look on your face as he took his anger out on you. Those moments, that day, burned themselves into his mind and plagued him through his whole life. He had always regretted that day, and probably always would but there was no way he was going to make the same mistake twice. Five's head looked down shamefully as he quietly apologized,

"I'm sorry..."

Letting go of his hand you take a step forward and gently cradle his face in your hands, tilting his head up slightly so he can look at you. You look into his eyes and the anger you saw before was replaced with pain. Softly you cooed,

"It's okay darling."

"No. It's not. I shouldn't have done it." Five replied hurt "We both remember the last time I took my anger out on you and look how great that turned out."

Five turned his head slightly to look away from you. He couldn't believe himself for directing his anger towards you when you didn't do anything wrong. When you've never done anything wrong. If anything he had done wrong towards you. You knew Five regretted the day you both traveled through time. He had mentioned it to you a few times but sometimes he'd have a far-off look and you could just tell that his thoughts of that day were consuming him again. He lived with so much pain due to his actions and their consequences and you wished you could just take it all away. You tilted his face back towards you and tried to comfort him,

"Five, I don't blame you for what happened that day, it was the result of years of cruelty from your father, and no offense to them, but your siblings have let you down consistently over what has only been two weeks for you. You had and have every right to be upset."

"You're correct but that didn't and doesn't make it right for me to take it out on you." Five calmly explained "It was wrong then and it's wrong now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay my love." you forgive

"How can you be so forgiving of me? After everything I've done?" Five questions

"Five I knew who you were before that day, and I know you now. People make mistakes, and you're no exception, but it's the actions you took after them that prove you're a good person and worthy of forgiveness." You inform

Five just looks at you for a second before stepping forward and wrapping you tightly in his arms. You remove your hands from his face and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him back. He loved you so much and god knows what he would do if he lost you again. He didn't want to lose his family either. He'd never say it especially because he's tried to show it to no avail, but he cared about his siblings. They were his family and he wanted them to live just as much as he wanted you to. The apocalypse was coming and time was running out for you and his family. And that worried him. As you hug him, you can feel his face bury into the crook of your neck. Gently, you stroke his hair as he quietly says,

"They make it so hard. I just want you all to live."

"I know, but you have a brilliant mind and I know you'll figure out how to get us out of here." You whisper back to him

Five shakes his head on your shoulder before he lifts his head to rest his forehead against yours.

"I don't deserve you." He remarks

"Say that again and I'll kill you." you threaten

Five lets out a light chuckle and a smirk comes to his face. He could not tell how serious your statement was but he found your threat of violence to be cute anyway. You and Five pull your faces back from each other and Five just looks at you for a second. He truly did not know how he could live without you. Nodding his head, Five straightened up and said,

"Alright, I have a hail mary plan in mind but I have to figure out some details first."

"Okay. While you do that I think I'm going to go check to see if Charlie is around. No guarantees he's come this way yet but just in case he has I want to let him know I'm okay." You reply

You nod your head at him and start to walk away but when you get to the door you turn back to look at him again and add,

"If you figure out your plan and I'm not back, just go without me I'll wait here."

"Okay." Five replies "I love you."

"I love you too."

You then exit the room and let your boyfriend be. He was going to need the time and space to figure out what to do. As you walk out you see that Luther had passed out on the couch in the living room. Stopping the apocalypse was a pretty tiring affair. You walked out of the apartment and looked around the street. It was pretty barren and a lot of shops were closed given that JFK was in town. Most people had probably headed downtown to see the motorcade later today. it sure would be eventful. You couldn't really see Charlie's car anywhere and you were about to turn around when you hear what sounded like a woman yell out,

"HELP!"

Immediately, your instincts kicked in and you ran towards the voice screaming out. Following it down an alley you stopped and looked around for who was in danger. Before you could turn around though something jabbed into your back and you started to feel dizzy. You tried to fight off whatever was happening but it was too late and you collapsed to the group. As your consciousness started to fade in and out, the last thing you heard was someone saying,

"I'm sure your brother will be happy to see you."

Back at the apartment, Five had finally come to terms with his plan. He needed to intercept the last person he'd want to see in this timeline. Himself. An older-looking version of him had arrived in Dallas no more than 10 minutes ago to kill President Kennedy and although it was risky, if they could get the briefcase from him, Five knew he could get his family home. He needed to prepare though. Rushing out of the bedroom, Five heads towards the kitchen and loudly opens the refrigerator door. The sound of the fridge causes Luther to wake. And as he gets up from the couch he calls out,

"Five? Five?"

Five ignored the calls as he grabbed a container of water and started to chug it down. When Luther entered the kitchen he looked upon the sight before him of Five intensely drinking water. Furrowing his eyebrows, Luther asks confused,

"Five, you okay?"

Five gasps heavily as he finishes the water and puts the container back in the fridge. "I'm gonna need to be hydrated." Five states

"Hydrated?" Luther questions

Luther watches as Five frantically looks around the kitchen for something before having his eyes lock on the kitchen table. Five walks over to it and quickly grabs a bottle of baby powder off of it before sprinkling some down each sleeve of his shirt and then some down his pants. Luther grew concerned about what was going on as he inquires,

"What's with the baby powder?" "It'll help with the itching." Five responds "What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asks before realizing "You do have a plan." Five does a few jumps and shakes to even out the baby powder he had practically doused himself in. Grabbing his jacket from the chair he walks past Luther into the living room of Elliott's apartment and explains, "Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

Luther turns to look at his sibling and asks, "No choice about what?"

"I have to find myself." Five states looking at his watch "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago." "Should I be worried about you?"

Five puts his academy jacket back on before bending over and starting to stretch. If he was going to do this he needed to know he was dexterous enough to fight or run after himself. With his younger body and surplus of energy, it probably wouldn't be that hard. Then again it was only two weeks ago when he was still working for the commission as well, and even in his old age, he was taking people out left and right. As he stretches Five explains,

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated." "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there." Luther says

Five stood up and looked at his brother. Finally, the wheels in Luther's big monkey brain were starting to turn and he was starting to grasp the plan Five had come up with. "Precisely." Five states "What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther asks confused

Nevermind. The monkey brain was still a monkey brain. Realizing his nitwit brother would not understand unless he described it in the same way he'd talk to a six-year-old, Five emphasized, "Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."

Luther's eyes go wide and a surprised expression appears on his face as Five watches the lightbulb finally goes off in Luther's head. It was honestly disappointing how long it took for that to happen. "Oh, my God. Five, you're a genius!" Luther exclaims

He may be a genius but the plan wasn't perfect though. There were significant flaws in it but it was a hail-mary for a reason. Turning to Luther, Five elaborates, "However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous." "Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther inquires

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage." Five explains "Homicidal rage?" Luther questions

"Yeah." Five states "Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea." "It's a Hail Mary. But what choice do we got, Luther?" Five exclaims "I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest." "Look, Luther, I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one, all right? I...I need a spotter." "A spotter?"

"Yeah."

"What is that? Like, a wingman?" Luther questions

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?" Five explains

"Okay, but where's (Y/N)?" Luther questions looking around

"I don't know. She said she was going on a walk to find Charlie but I guess hasn't come back yet." Five states "Maybe it's better that way though."

"You don't want your girlfriend coming? Don't you think she could rationalize with you more than I can if things get bad with this paradox psychosis?" Luther states concerned

"Most likely, and honestly I wouldn't mind some more steadiness from her" Five says

He then stops for a moment to think about the events at the Lonely Lodger Inn from earlier. He wouldn't mind that at all.

"Five?" Luther calls

Pulled from his thoughts he looks back to Luther and continues to explain,

"BUT if she's not there I can use my knowledge of her as leverage against myself. 45 years ago was the last time he saw her alive. He's sad, desperate, and blames himself for her death. We can use his emotional turmoil to get the briefcase if necessary."

Luther looked at his brother shocked. He knew where Five was coming from but it was almost vile considering using you against the other version of himself. Like he had said that version of him is sad, desperate, and blames himself for your death. Withholding knowledge about you just to get the briefcase would probably be on torture levels for him. Luther knew how strongly Five felt about you and the two of you were together now, so he could only imagine what could happen with the version that hasn't seen you in years.

"You're going to use your girlfriend like blackmail against yourself?"

"As I said, if necessary I will." Five comments as he starts to walk away "Now, come on Luther."

"Right..." Luther says to himself

Leaving out of the apartment the two of them head out in search of Five's Commission self. Although both still wondered where you were.

____________________________

As you started to regain your consciousness the world around you began to flood your senses. Your mind felt fogged as your head rested heavily on a cold surface. Your eyelids drooped but you tried to open them to see where you were. Through blurred vision, you were able to make out an empty grey room. It reminded you of the interrogation room at the police station Eudora worked at. This definitely wasn't the alley you were in. You moved your body around and with enough force, you manage to get yourself upright but your heavy head still hung low. As you became upright you could feel your backside hit the backing of the chair you were in. You moved your arms trying to readjust yourself but as you did so you hear the sounds of clanking and realized there was something around your wrists. You were handcuffed.

"Maybe Charlie was right about not running towards danger." You groan

It felt like your physical being and consciousness were both moving through sludge. Whatever that person injected into you to knock you out was sure as hell powerful. You tried to think of a plan to get out but all of them involved your powers and you could just feel the fatigue run through your veins from the sedative. Taking some breaths you tried to figure out where you were and where to go from here. Listening carefully you could hear the buzzing of the light above you but also the sounds of people walking and chattering outside the room you were in. Gathering energy, you threw your head back so that it was facing up towards the ceiling. You moved your eyes around and spotted a door to the left of you. There were no real defining characteristics to let you know where you were. Maybe Reggie had informed the government about you and now the FBI or CIA was going to use you as a weapon of mass destruction. Maybe the Soviets had kidnapped you and were going to use you as ransom to the US government because apparently, the world saw you as the adoptive daughter of an eccentric billionaire. Either way, you didn't know where you were and you didn't know how to get out. Overall, this was a very bad situation. Without any other real options, you sat there and waited for something to happen. As you did so you could hear the door open and the sound of someone walking into the room before closing the door behind them.

"Good, you're awake." The voice commented

You knew that voice. It was the same one as the person who had knocked you out. Although you were still too sluggish to do anything about your situation you could feel a fire start to build. Rolling your head to the side you looked towards the figure. Across the other side of a table stood a woman in all black clothes with a late 90s grunge cut with a fake smile on her face. Narrowing your eyes at them you demanded,

"Where am I?"

"You're at the Temps Commission." They responded

"Fuck." You said under your breath

This was worse than you thought, and now you were wishing you were captured by the KGB or US government. You had no clue what they knew nor what they wanted from you and since you couldn't fight back, the best course of action was to stay quiet. No matter what, you would not reveal any information about the Hargreeves but especially Five. They had been on his ass ever since he returned to 2019 and you were not going to let them get to him. The woman before you looked over as you sat in silence.

"What, no more questions?" They inquire "I feel like you'd have a lot more given who I am."

"I have no clue who you are." You remark

"Lila?"

Oh. Her. Great. Letting out an annoyed huff you stare at her with an unimpressed expression.

"Ah yes, now I recall," You comment, sarcasm laced in your voice "You're my emotionally damaged, older brother's sloppy seconds hookup, who in reality is a vomit bag of lies and manipulation."

"Listen here you little prick, I'm his girlfriend." She snaps

"You ain't shit. His girlfriend is a corpse, six feet under and somehow she's still better than you." You scoff

As your confidence grew, you started to realize that the sedative was wearing off more. You started to feel less sluggish and although physically you couldn't do much your mind became clearer. You didn't want to tip Lila off that you were regaining your strength though so you stayed in your slumped position but kept a cocky look on your face. Lila slams her hands down on the table and stares at you intensely.

"I should kill you." She threatens

"Do it. I'm sure that'll go over real well with my brother." You remark sarcastically

"You a bigger pain in the ass than Five." She remarks annoyed

"Good." You reply curtly

The two of you stare each other down intensely, neither of you saying anything. After a few moments, Lila remarks,

"You're an asshole."

"And you're the walking embodiment of sad British cooking. Fucking basic beans and toast looking ass bitch." You retort

You watch and Lila's face contorted with a flurry of emotions. Shock, confusion, anger. They were all present. Lila then stands up straight once more and in a monotone voice states,

"I have a meeting to go to."

Turning away from you she heads to the door. As she does so you shout behind her,

"Ha! That's right, leave! And just know if I could flip you off right now I would!"

As Lila steps out of the room you can hear her say to someone,

"You watch over her for now and bring her to my mother's office in 15 minutes. Understood?"

And as Lila fully leaves the room another woman steps in. Closing the door behind her, she looks through the glass window of the door as if trying to check for something before pulling the curtain down. Locking the door she walks over to the table and pulls up a chair across from you. With her hands clasped nicely on the table, she gives you a genuine wide smile and says,

"Hiya! I'm Dot!"

You looked at the woman before you. She seemed kind but this was also the Temps Commission so you had your reservations about trusting her.

"(Y/N)..."

"Oh, I know!" She replies in an upbeat tone "And let me tell you, a lot of us down at case management are so happy for you and Five. A lot of us wish the process was sped up but we have no real say in any decisions here but gosh we're just so happy for you two."

You stared at her blankly. She seemed sincere in her congrats, but part of you worried this was just some ploy to get you to let your guard down. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair and quietly commented back,

"Uh...thanks."

Dot let out a small sigh as her smile faltered a bit. Giving you a soft expression she lowers her voice and states,

"Listen, I know you're probably hesitant to trust me but if I'm going to get you out of here you're going to need to."

"I'm not going to trust anybody here. Five has told me all about you all." You state

"I understand. Let me just do something to prove you can trust me. Please just don't run after I do it. It'll cause a whole lotta trouble for the both of us." Dot says

You watch as she gets up from her seat and walks behind you. You try to turn your head as best as you can to see what she's doing but between the sedative still working its way out of your system and the fact you could not turn your head like an owl it was difficult. You watch as she crouches down for a second and then you hear the sound of something clattering to the ground. Dot walks back to her chair and sits down. As she does that you realize the clattering sound was that of your handcuffs falling to the floor. She had let you go knowing there was a chance you would run away. If you were able to move better maybe you would but that wasn't a possibility yet and you were a little curious as to what was up with her now. Shaking your wrists out a bit, Dot comments to you,

"You're free now, but please don't run. Let me get you out of here the right way."

"Get me out of here? What do you mean?" You questioned as you rested your arms on the table

Dot looked around the room once more checking to make sure nothing was there to see and hear her. Looking back towards you she explains,

"The Handler is trying to take over the commission. I and a few other folks are part of an underground resistance effort to try and stop her, because if she takes the reigns of this whole place we have no clue what will happen, but we know it won't be good."

"What do you know then?" You question, leaning forward in your seat

"From what we can infer, she wants the apocalypse to happen and she wants it to wipe out Five and the rest of the Hargreeves. But Lila obviously has a soft spot for your brother and brought him here."

"My brother Diego." You state

You knew that it was Diego who she brought. Of course, it was. Logically, it was the only answer that made sense. Hell, she thought she was his girlfriend. And yet, there was a part of you that thought about your other brother, Dean. You knew it was unlikely that he was here. It was virtually impossible, but maybe if he was all of your friends were here too. The look on your face must've said what you were thinking because Dot reached across the table and took your hands in her own.

"I'm sorry about your other brother." She consoled

Your heart clenched at those words. Taking a deep breath you attempted to ask,

"I'm guessing he..."

"Yes." Dot answered, "Along with the rest of your friends."

You looked down and nodded your head lightly. You knew how the world ended. You knew that the reality you had known, did end. And yet, somehow up until now, you had been able to block out the true gravity of the situation. You remembered how you joked with Charlie that he was the only friend you had left and to stay away from fireplaces or else you would have no one. You truly had not grieved their loss for years and instead had evaded it with humor or distractions. But now you were faced with the truth that you had always known. Your friends were dead. The apocalypse killed them. You held Dot's hands a little tighter as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to keep the tears that were forming back. With eyes still closed, you took a few small breaths before quietly asking,

"How did it happen?"

There was a silence in the room as the air loomed heavy over the two of you. Dot then took a breath before answering,

"In their last moments, they were all together singing happy birthday to your friend Kenny."

You lifted your head towards Dot and opened your eyes. You nodded your head as you managed to fight back your grief and replied softly.

"...at least Dean kept his promise."

"I know this is difficult for you to deal with especially since things are already so stressful but we can get them back." Dot states calmly

"How?" You inquired

If you had a chance to save the Hargreeves, and get your friends back, you would take it, no matter what. You loved them all and nothing was going to stop you from keeping them alive.

"In the simplest of terms, stop The Handler, Stop the 1963 apocalypse, and return the original timeline."

"I'm in." You reply without hesitation "What do I need to do?"

"Lila knows that you matter more to Diego than she does, so she brought you here to use you to keep Diego in line. We're going to head to the Handler's office soon so Lila can use you as said bait. What you need to do is still pretend that you are too sedated to actually fight or anything." Dot starts to explain

"Pretend? I am still too sedated to fight." You state confused

"Not for long though." She replies "I went to our Metaphysics Division laboratory-"

She had to be joking right? The whole concept of the Temps Commission was crazy enough but a Metaphysics Division was honestly ridiculous to you. Cutting her off you sarcastically questioned,

"Metaphysics Division? What do they do? Turn decades into candy? Synthesize a person's memories from their DNA into an injectable? Create bodies for consciousness to be transferred into?"

"They already did the first one, I'm sure they could do the second if they tried, and they accomplished the last one until Five blew up the briefcase room which unfortunately shared a wall with the lab. They moved the lab location to a safer spot after that." Dot explained, "Point being, I stole a vile of adrenaline for you."

"Because adrenaline helps bring back my powers. That's genius." You compliment

"Yes. So during the meeting, you're just going to pretend that you're still very sedated but after that, we move into phase 2."

"And what's that?" You ask

"We're getting you out of here and back to Five."

With that, Dot pulls the vial of adrenaline and a packaged medical needle out of her pocket and slides them across the table to you.

"I'm not sure what your limit is so I don't want to be the one to inject it. Also, as a fair warning, we don't have much time until I need to take you to the Handler's office." Dot explains

You nodded your head at her and grab the vial and needle. You had watched Kenny do this enough times for you that you felt you could figure it out on your own with minimal problems. Opening the packaged needle you go through the steps to fill it with the adrenaline from the vile before injecting it into your arm. You weren't sure how much you were supposed to give yourself but you felt much more energized even in the few minutes after doing so. Dot turned to you and you knew from the look on her face that it was time to go. Grabbing the handcuffs from the floor you handed them to Dot before putting your hands behind your back. Once they were on you got yourself in the headspace of pretending to be somewhat sedated and started acting less alert and coordinated.

"Are you ready?" Dot questioned

"Yup. Let's set this plan in motion." You reply

Dot then unlocks the door and the two of you walk out of the room down the halls of the commission towards the Handler's office. In the office though, the Handler looked in disbelief at Lila and her pick for new commission security detail.

"Are you kidding me?" The Handler exclaims

"You said I could hire my own team." Lila states "Yes, but I didn't mean him, for God's sake. If you don't see the problem with hiring you-know-who's brother, then you're not ready for that badge." The Handler complains

Diego looks at the scene before him of the back and forth between mother and daughter. This was going nowhere and he was not meant to be here. Trying to get up and leave he says, "I'm sorry, but I really need to get going." "Shut up!" They both yell at him

Diego slowly sits back down in his seat as the two of them go back and forth with each other. "I can't do this job if you don't trust my instincts," Lila complains "Sweetheart, your vagina needs glasses. He is not worth it." The Handler criticizes "Mum! Oh, my God."Lila exclaims embarrassed before changing her tune "This may shock you, but not everyone here likes you."

The Handler looks at Lila confused as she states, "Sounds ridiculous, but go on." "You need fresh blood loyal to us and not the old regime. I've seen Diego in the field. He is so much better trained than most of the assholes here. Why waste that when we can use it? He'll be my personal responsibility." Lila explains to her mother

The Handler turns her attention from Lila to Diego.

"You know, your brother Five and I have quite a colorful history." The handler playfully comments with a wink

Diego looks at her confused and disgusted. He hoped to god that she wasn't insinuating what he thought she was because if so he was going to kick Five's ass. Trying to both change the topic, and gage what she meant Diego replies, "My brother has beef with all except one person, and that person is not me." Diego retorts "Let me ask you something. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, where do your loyalties lie, with your family or your principles?" The Handler asks "With me. I don't belong to anybody. Especially Lila." Diego retorts

The handler stares Diego down for a bit and there is a silence in the air. Turning back to Lila she states, "That I can work with. Run him through orientation and fill out his paperwork."

A wide smile comes to Lila's face as she happily exclaims, "Aw, thanks, Mum! I'm glad you're on board, but just to be sure he behaves I do have an insurance policy in place."

"A what?" Diego questioned

The door then opened from behind him. You had been waiting on the other side of the wall with Dot for a few minutes for some kind of signal to enter the room. You guessed Lila wanted dramatic effect, which was very villain-esque and very cliche. Walking into the room you made sure that you looked physically weak so that they wouldn't feel like you had the full ability to fight them again. Dot sat you down in a chair in between Diego and Lila before walking back outside of the room. Turning to your brother you smile at him and comment,

"Hey Eggo, how's it going? Did you get drugged and kidnapped as well?"

Diego's pulse begins to quicken as he looks between you and Lila. Anger started to build inside of him as his eyes locked on Lila. She looked at him from her seat with confusion.

"Diego, what's wrong?" She questioned

Diego couldn't believe that it was even a question of what could be wrong. How could she not see the awful nature of what she had done? Shooting up from his chair, Diego moves to place himself between you and Lila. He wasn't going to let her get any closer to you. She had already hurt you once and there was no way he was going to let it happen again. Not on his watch.

"What's wrong?" He questioned rhetorically before yelling "YOU DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED MY SISTER!"

Lila did not fully think this plan through. She knew that Diego had a soft spot for you so she knew she could use you to help get him to stay and work as security. What she had not anticipated was his anger. She thought he would be a little upset but still happy to have you with him. That was not looking like the case though. Standing up as well, Lila tries to downplay the severity of what she had done.

"Diego, calm down, she's fine. A little sedated but fine." Lila explains with some nervous laughter

"Fine would be her not being here at all Lila!" Diego rebuked

The Handler looked at the lover's quarrel going on between the two of them. It was unexpected but it revealed a side of Diego that was unknown before. It was impressive that Lila had thought ahead to bring in the one loyalty that Diego had so that he would be less likely to act out.

"I see you do have some loyalties..." The Handler comments "Good thinking on the blackmail sweetheart."

As you quietly sat handcuffed, trying to pretend that you had no ability to use your powers, you couldn't help but get irritated at Lila and Diego. Feeling the need to add your input, you cut in commenting,

"Y'know...I'm just putting it out there, but Eudora never would've drugged and kidnapped me to use me as blackmail because she was actually a good person."

"Shut up." Lila scolds, glaring at you

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Diego reprimands

"Yeah! Fuck you, beans and toast." You add

"What?" Diego asks looking down at you confused

"Just roll with it." You whisper back to him

"Diego," Lila calls bringing his attention back to her "Look at it this way. At least she's with you her brother and not her awful boyfriend, Five."

"He's a pain in my ass, and I don't like sharing her but he's not an awful boyfriend. Everything he has done is for her." Diego replies

"I'm telling him you said that." You mention

Diego once again turns to look at you and in the sternest of tones he states,

"No."

He then turns back to Lila and continues to explain,

"And second of all, I'd rather her be with him than here because then at least I know she's protected."

The Handler was becoming less and less amused by this argument the more it went on. Deciding she was done with their petty bickering she stood up from her desk and commanded,

"Enough. Lila, take your little puppy to orientation."

Lila tried grabbing Diego's arm to take him away but he held his ground. No matter what he was not going to leave you behind, especially not alone with the Handler. Lila looked between her mother and Diego, growing increasingly worried about what would happen if Diego didn't leave with her soon. Lila tried pulling him along once more but he pulled his arm from her grasp. Placing a hand on your shoulder he turned to face the handler. Standing his ground, Diego demanded,

"I'm not going anywhere without my sister."

"Alright." The handler replies monotonously "Kill him, Lila."

"No!" You and Lila shout in unison

The two of you glare at each other before you look towards your brother. He was not dying just because he felt this need to stick around and protect you. You knew he was always going to put you first in a way he barely did with anyone else, but you were not going to risk losing your other brother because of his need to protect you.

"Diego please go." You asked calmly

Diego looked towards you before crouching down in front of you. Looking you in the eyes, he gently holds onto each of your arms. He said no words but you could feel his hands shake.

"I'm not leaving you." He stated, trying to keep his voice calm

There was a certain deja vu to the conversation you were having with Diego. Your brain traveling back to that day in 2019. You tried not to think too much about it but knowing what had happened after made this conversation even harder. You didn't want to make your brother leave, but you knew you needed to so he could be safe. You just hoped that this time things would turn out better.

"Diego. Go." You forced out

He looked at you sadly but knew you wouldn't budge on the issue. Wrapping his arms around you he pulls you into a tight hug, not wanting to let you go. If your hands weren't cuffed behind your back you would've held him as well but all you could do was rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'll be okay," you whispered, trying to reassure Diego of the decision

"I'm gonna come back for you." He whispered back

He let out a sigh before standing up and reluctantly nodding towards Lila to show him the way. You turned your head to watch him leave. Diego looked back at you one more time, hoping that he would see your face again soon. And with that, he left and you were now left alone with the Handler herself. You watched as she made her way around her desk and leaned back on it so she was now in front of you. She gave you a smile that was nowhere near as friendly as Dot's was. It unsettled you greatly. Instinctively, you leaned back in your seat as you stared quietly back at her.

"So you must be Five's little plaything," The handler comments "I'm so glad I finally get to meet you. I was hoping it would be on better circumstances but for some reason, Five never wanted to bring you around."

You could see why he didn't want you two to meet. Although she tried to portray herself as kind it was very evident that she was psychotic.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" She questions "Maybe a candy would help? Would you like one?"

She gestures to a bowl of candy on her desk. Honestly, you wouldn't mind one and you were so done with the day at this point that you were willing to accept the risk it might be poisoned.

"Sure, but uh...I can't really grab it." You reply shaking your arms to gesture to the handcuffs

The handler moves from leaning on her desk to behind you and undoes one handcuff before re-cuffing it on the armrest of the chair you were in. Still not great, but at least you were able to have some movement of your hands and arms. The handler grabs a piece of candy from the bowl and hands it to you. A smirk resided on her face as she watches you take the candy from her hand.

"Here have this one," she says before walking back behind her desk

As she walks back to her chair, you unwrap the candy and pop it in your mouth. It didn't taste too great. It tasted like stress and tears and sadness, but then again it was not as bad as the weird food concoctions you and your friends had made before. You crunched on it a little bit before swallowing it all. As the handler sits back down in her seat she starts to say,

"We've synthesized specific years into- wait did you just eat that whole thing?"

"Yeah." You reply bluntly

"That was The Great Depression candy." She states shocked

"Ah, that makes more sense. I thought it just tasted like finals week. Not bad though." You respond

The handler looks at you baffled. She purposely gave you the Great Depression as a way to knock you down and show her superiority but you ate the whole thing like it was nothing.

"Not bad? It was made to taste like blood, sweat, tears, and depression."

You shrug your shoulders and nonchalantly reply,

"It could be worse."

"It could be worse? What is wrong with you?" She questions before saying "Nevermind."

The handler took a moment to try and regain herself. Not even she was able to eat the Great Depression candy without gagging. This was a situation she had not anticipated but she wasn't going to be confused or intimidated by some child. You on the other hand felt a pride rise inside you. You tried to hold your laughter back as you thought to yourself, Now I've thrown her off her rhythm. This situation was bad but at least you were able to make it entertaining. The handler after reestablishing her "polite" composure brought a faux smile back to her face as she turned her attention towards you again.

"You are quite the individual. Just like Five, we've had our eyes on you for a long time."

"That's kinda creepy but alright." You comment back

"Well, we do monitor all of time to make sure that what's supposed to happen, happens. Of course, we were going to notice children with unexplained immense powers, such as yourself. Molecular manipulation is quite the gift."

"Yeah, you could say I'm the main character of this story." You mention with a wink "No one can do what I do."

"I'm sure someone could mimic your powers."

"Ha! I sure would like to see that bitch try." you scoffed "The dipshit would be writhing on the ground in pain for their hubris. I can only imagine what type of dumbass would willingly take on feeling the extent of everything that makes up this world without years of tolerance training. Idiot."

You couldn't believe the stupidity of her statement. You'd think if she had been monitoring you throughout your life that she would know it took you forever to build up a tolerance to feeling the molecules in the world. Before you started learning to control your abilities you blew stuff up as a child because you were in pain. Imagine having such a large ego that you think you could copy that without putting in any training for it. What a "yeah let me just try to surpass god" type of mentality you were getting from this woman.

The handler couldn't believe you either. She was growing more frustrated with you having some kind of counterpoint to everything she did or said. It was like you were prepared to be here even though it was clearly established that you weren't. She was just glad that the only power you had right now was the ability to run your mouth. The handler knew she was going to get under your skin though. She had her ways.

"You know, it's just so sweet the history that you and Five have. Always believing the two of you would find each other again one day." She states, traces of malice in her tone "It's something I thought about during Five and I's involved, and colorful history."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Did- did she think you were stupid? You knew she was trying to suggest that she and Five were a thing but they obviously weren't. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that. Your boyfriend hated this woman and hated his time at the commission. He said it himself, it was nothing more than a job. He absolutely despised these people, especially her, and currently was working directly against this organization as he always had been. And on top of it, everything he's done was motivated by his love for you. Even Diego who was not happy that you had a boyfriend knew that was Five's motivation. This woman was certifiably insane.

"Ma'am if you're trying to insinuate you fucked my boyfriend, I know you're lying. Intimacy of any kind, but especially physical intimacy catches him off guard." You elaborate unamused "Also if you two have such an involved history then why is that he spent his whole life trying to get back to me, despises you and the rest of the commission, and is actively trying to thwart you in every way possible."

The handler glared at you. She thought she was going to get under your skin with that comment and yet here you sat throwing it back in her face and getting under hers. Scornfully she rebuked,

"You know I never quite understood why Five chose you. I can't seem to find one reason to like you."

"Well, I can seem to find a lot of reasons actually. I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm powerful, I cared for him when no one else would, I didn't knowingly leave him alone in an apocalyptic wasteland for 45 years." You retort sarcastically "And those are just a few of the many reasons."

"You know pride is one of the seven deadly sins," The handler comments leaning forward in her seat

"So is envy." you retort

The handler gets back up from her seat and walks over to you once more. Looking down at you with contempt she asks,

"You know what I see?"

"What?" you reply

"I see a weak, pathetic child who thinks that she's the center of attention in this giant book of life. A child who is so scared of confronting her past she hides behind a harsh exterior with only her words to defend her." She attempts to insult

It didn't work though because you knew she was wrong. She had no clue who you were or what you were like. You had her stumped and you knew she was grasping at straws to try and put you down. To try and make you feel belittled so that she could exert power over you. She had no power over you because the fact of the matter was, you were the one in power here, and you were going to assert it.

"Well, you know what I see?" You ask with a smug smile

"No. Tell me, what do you see?"

Still handcuffed you lean forward in your chair looking up at where she stood right in front of you. Lowering your voice you go on to say,

"I see a woman, past her prime, deluded by a fantasy of some kind of romantic tryst with a man who never wanted her to begin with. You have led yourself so far down a path of irrationality that you have convinced yourself there was some kind of connection that was never there. He was your subordinate, nothing more. And now here you stand, grasping at straws for some sense of control and power, in the middle of a failing coup d'état of your own making, because you feel like you are losing your grip on the reality you created for yourself. A reality wrecked by the very man that you convinced yourself wanted you back."

Immediately after you finished your statement, the handler's hand snapped towards you and grabbed your face. She forced your head up to look at her and you could see the rage in her eyes. You were winning this battle. Angrily the handler replied,

"You better show me some respect. I have the power to ruin your life, take everything you love away, I could even kill you for that matter."

"I don't need to show you shit. My life has already been ruined, practically all that I love has disappeared in one way or another," You retort "and just so you know, the only way I'll ever die is if I choose to let it happen."

The handler leaned in towards you and her grip on your face tightened. You could feel her nails sink into your skin a little more. You weren't intimidated by her though. She was pathetic and wasn't worth your time. When she got close enough to you a sadistic smirk came to your face for a moment before you spit in hers. The handler whipped your head to the side as she pulled back in disgust. Wiping her face off she looks towards you in anger but you sit there with a proud smile.

"You're lucky you make good blackmail or else you'd be dead right now." she comments furiously before shouting "DOT!"

Dot quickly enters the room and the handler whips her gaze towards her.

"Take this disgusting child back to her holding cell." She commands

Dot nods her head and quietly makes her way over to you. Unlocking the one handcuff from the armrest she redoes the cuffs behind your back before helping you to stand. The two of you walk towards the door to leave the handler's office but before you do so you stop in your place. Turning to face the handler you firmly state,

"Les chaînes des oppresseurs ne durent que tant que les opprimés les laissent rester. La liberté est inévitable."

And without another word you and Dot left.

____________________________

"Well, there I am." Five stated

He and Luther had made their way over to the pub that Five knew he would be at. From behind a pillar the two of them spied on older looking but younger self. Five remembered this day perfectly. He had sat over at the bar trying to perfect the equation to jump forward to 2019. He thought about you a lot, wondering how you would feel about him coming back, if you would be upset with him...if he'd get the opportunity to confess his feelings even though it probably would go nowhere.

What a sad mess of a man.

"Hey Five, why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" Luther questioned "Luther, I would never let that happen. We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives." Five explained "Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."

"Huh...What do you mean?" Luther asked confused

God, how dense was he? Did Five really have to spell it out for his brother? Letting out an exasperated sigh, Five elaborated,

"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?" "I get you," Luther responds

Five was not confident though that Luther actually got him. "So our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him." Five continues "He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh...better than I know myself."

Unconsciously, Five reaches back and scratches the back of his neck causing Luther to quietly exclaim, "You just itched your neck. That's stage two of paradox psychosis."

"No, I didn't. I didn't itch my neck." Five denies "Denial is stage one." Luther reminds

Five was not going to deal with this back and forth. He was fine. Completely and utterly fine. Nothing was wrong at all and no paradox psychosis was setting in. He was good. Snapping at his brother he states, "I am fine, okay? Let's stay on task, shall we?"

Five attempts to start walking over to his commission self but Luther puts an arm out to stop him. "Wait!" Luther says "What?" Five questions

"Maybe I should go first." "Why?"

"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice." Luther suggests

Five thought about it for a second and realized Luther was right. It might be better to send him in, although now he was wishing he had you here because you would probably be the best option to reason with him. But then again, he could see himself freaking out even more because your presence in 1963 meant something very wrong happened. Well, at least he still had the blackmail option. Five nods to his brother and Luther slowly makes his way over to commission Five. Luther awkward leans on the bar next to him and calls,

"Five."

Commission Five registered the word the person had just said to him but wasn't sure if he was hearing him correctly. Looking up at the person he sees a giant man standing there. Looking him up and down he asks, "What'd you call me, big man?" "It's me. Number One?" Luther replies "Luther. How did you...?" Commission Five questions as he starts to reach down towards the briefcase at his feet

"It's okay. Everything is fine. I can explain. But first, I need to introduce you to somebody. Just promise me you won't freak out." Luther tries to calm "What the hell are you talking about?" Five replies with wide eyes

"Uh! Don't freak out. No freak-outs. All right?" "Hey there, stranger." Academy Five greeted

The two of them stare quietly at each other. This was the worst of situations and both of them knew it but what was more important was making sure they were the one to possess the briefcase.

"How about we all sit down together?" Luther suggests

Commission Five leans down and grabs the briefcase as Academy Five continues to stare at him. Cautiously the two of them walk over to a nearby table that Luther has found available. Slowly the Five's sit down across from each other, their staring contest continuing on.

"I'll get us some drinks!" Luther exclaims walking over to the bar

Neither of them said a word to their other and tension loomed in the air. Neither knew if it was due to the paradox psychosis or just the fact that they both had to look at a reflection of their and future failures. Either way, it was an undesirable experience. After a minute, Luther comes back with three pints of beer in hand. Placing one in front of each person at the table he takes a seat and comments,

"Well...this is nice, isn't it? The three of us, together like this." "No." Both Fives say in unison "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self." Commission Five inquired

"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older." Academy Five states

Commission Five leans in more as he remarks, "I have pubic hair smarter than you. How's that possible?"

"I can explain. You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family" Five explains taking a pause before continuing "About (Y/N)."

Luther looks between the two Fives confused. They worried about the family? It was understandable that they worried about you but the family too? Surprising. Commission Five's eyes glaze over for a second and he looks off in the distance as his teen counterpart's words resonate in his mind. He did worry about his family but mainly he worried for you. The image of that first day in the apocalypse never left him no matter how many years had passed. It was seared into his memory and haunted his nightmares. Coming back into focus, Five leans in and replies in a low voice,

"Of course. Why wouldn't I worry about her? You know what happened." "I do know what happened and preventing that outcome is the most important thing. So today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to mess up the calculations, screw up the jump, and end up in this younger body." Academy Five explains

"Okay. So what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?" Commission Five asks

"No, no. I need you to jump. If you don't jump, I cease to exist and there is someone in this timeline who would not be happy about that." Academy Five states firmly

Commission Five's eyes go wide. Instinctively, his hand and covers the part where his locket rested. Were you here in 1963 as well? His heart raced a little and he excitedly questioned,

"You mean-"

"Yes." Academy Five answered

"...What's she like?" Commission Five asked in awe at the thought of you being around

"Ethereal." "I'm listening. Go on." Commission Five pressed

This is exactly why Five was fine with you not being here. Now he had bargaining power against his former self. The pathetic man was desperate for any crumb of knowledge about you. An unfriendly smile came to Academy Five's face as he explained his offer,

"I'll be glad to tell you more in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table. And I'll even give you the right equation for this time if you want it."

Commission Five looked back at his teen-looking self without saying any words. Taking the opportunity to speak Luther re-explained, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, see (Y/N) and this time with the right math, so you can remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need. Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." "That's quite a bit to take in." Commission Five commented

"What do you think?" Academy Five asked "I think...I need to piss." Commission Five responded

He then got up from the table, grabbing the briefcase from the floor below him, and made his way to the bathroom. Academy Five watched with wide eyes as he walked away from the table. Grabbing a napkin, Luther began to dab the sweat off of Five's face commenting, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well." "No, there's something- something doesn't feel right about this." Five remarked

"What do you mean?" Luther questioned "I don't trust him." Five stated "But he's you," Luther replied confused "Exactly."

Luther slowly nodded his head. The psychosis looked like it was really starting to pick up in Five. Luther hoped they would be able to get the briefcase soon so that Five didn't get worse. Downing the rest of his pint, Luther turns to Five and explains,

"Well, I need to go take a piss as well, and maybe as your spotter, I can reason with him a bit, alright? Just wait here."

Five watches as Luther gets up and walks away. He could only hope that things would all work out the way they should.

____________________________

As you and Dot quietly walked down the hallway you whispered to her,

"What's this phase two that you have in mind?"

You watch as Dot looks around for a second to make sure no one in the hallway was paying attention before pulling you into a side corridor. She takes one more glance around the surroundings before whispering to you,

"The resistance is going to get a briefcase so you can escape back to 1963, but to get to the briefcase room unnoticed, we'll need a distraction."

"Ah, I see where is going. You want me to cause the distraction."

"Yes." Dot replies "If you can draw enough security away from the briefcase room we can slip in and get one so that you can get out of here."

You nod your head as you phase your wrists through the handcuffs so you can have your arms free again. Looking back to her you state,

"I'm not leaving without Diego."

"Don't worry, I talked to Herb, another member of the resistance in the hall, and he said he was going to retrieve him." She reassures

"Good." You respond before asking "Where should I meet you?"

"Storage closet 2. It's on the east side of the building across from the period clothing department."

You peer around the corner of the corridor and look out into the hallway to see who was there. It was relatively empty with only a few people passing by. As you keep watch you ask Dot,

"Is the briefcase room to the left or right?"

"The right. Why?" She questions

"No time for questions. Just trust me. I'll see you soon." You respond

And before she can say anything else, you turn yourself invisible and sprint off to the left down the hall. Dodging the people who were walking by, you looked for some room that seemed important. As you searched, you passed the handler's office doors. Stopping in your tracks and backing up you look at the double doors for a second. A mischievous smile comes to your face as you take each hand and place them on the door handles. You heat the molecules of the handles and the lock inside of the door so that they all start to melt before quickly cooling it all down. With the handles and lock all now one solid amalgamation you knew that she would be locked in there for a bit. Turning back around you continue running off down the hall searching for a room that seemed important until you found one. Looking at the sign that said Tube Room you decided to investigate more. Phasing through the wall you entered the room and saw a line of different tubes spread down the length of a hall. Taking a look around to see that no one was there, you drop your invisibility and prepare for the mother of all distractions. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused on the molecules around you in this room. Specifically, that of the tubes that lined the walls Shooting your eyes back open you took off running down the hall of tubes, blowing each one behind you up as you passed them by. You could feel the pulsing of the explosions and the heat from the leftover flames as you continued to move forward down the hall. As you reached the end of the hall, you ran through the wall to the other side hearing the sound of the last explosion resonate behind you. You stopped for a moment to brush yourself off when you heard over the PA system,

"Security to the tube room. Security to the tube room."

"I better get out of here." You say to yourself

You look around for any sign that would point you in the direction of the east side of the building. You should've asked for more directions from Dot, but you were all too excited to start bringing this organization to its knees. Down the hall, you see a sign with an arrow on it pointing towards the period clothing department.

"Bingo," you exclaim

You start to quickly make your way towards the sign when you hear someone from behind you yell,

"Stop right there!"

Looking back you saw a significant amount of people in blue suits pointing guns at you. You were about to run away when you looked forward and saw another similar-looking group on the other side of the hall.

"Shit."

You were trapped. Granted, you weren't really trapped, you could just use your powers to sneak out of this situation but you had no clue if Dot was able to get a briefcase yet. Was this all the security they had or was there more scattered around? Dot had mentioned that Five blew up the briefcase room the last time he was here, so they had to have had more security for it. Security that you needed to draw to here.

"If you wanna stop me you're gonna have to kill me!" You announced

Guns drawn, the guards started to come towards you. You kept calm though and waited patiently for the first line of security to get close enough. If you were going to cause a distraction then hell you were going to make it unforgettable. Slowly, the 12 guards inched closer and closer until they were just where you wanted them. As this first line flanked you on all sides you gave them a wicked smile and within a second a boom rang throughout the hallway. It was all calm for a moment and then...chunks of flesh and blood rained down over the hall. There was nothing left where those 12 guards had stood, and at that moment it became clear that you were not trapped with these guards. They were trapped with you. You were Persephone, the bringer of destruction, and the chaos had only just begun.

Pulling out two of your knives you watched as more guards started showing up to try and stop you. You could feel the adrenaline you had injected coursing through your veins. This is where the fun begins. Realizing what you had just done the guards start to rush in. One by one you started to take them down. It was like you were moving in slow motion as you fought the crowd around you. Your movements becoming less so fighting maneuvers and more of a rhythmic dance. In a focused daze, you made your way around slashing throats and melting brains of all those who charged at you. With their guns drawn, they sent shots your way but it did not matter because all the bullets did was go through you and hit other guards. You watched the blood and the shit spray as swathes of agents dropped to the floor dead. The lucky ones were shot or blown to bits while the less fortunate dealt with the pain of slowly burning to death or being tossed back and forth between the walls like useless playthings. You bathed in the sounds of their agony. They all were going to suffer the way they made your darling Five do for years. And like the Roman empire, they fell to their demise.

When the combat had stopped you came out of your trance. Catching your breath you looked around at the bloodbath you created. The once white marble floors were now stained with rivers of red. You were victorious in your battle, and like the Queen of Hell, your destruction reigned over this place. You turned to walk away and head towards the storage closet when the sound of a gun rang out and pain came to your arm. You looked down and saw that a bullet had grazed your forearm leaving behind a wound. Your head shot back in anger to see where the shot hand came from. One guard was still alive, paralyzed from the waist down but still alive. You made your way towards them and they tried to shoot again but they were all out of bullets. Slowly, you crouched down to them on the floor, your eyes ignited with flames and you said in a low tone,

"You missed."

Reaching into their chest you ripped out their heart and crushed it in front of them. You watched as the light quickly slipped from your eyes. Letting out a huff you placed two fingers over your wound and used your powers to cauterize it. You were done here and made your way towards the rendezvous point. As you walked that way the adrenaline started to wear off and you started to fully realize what had gone down. Urgency set in as you saw the blood you were covered in and realized you need to get out of here. Finally seeing the clothing department you ran into it real quick and changed clothes, using some scrap cloths and a water bottle you found to wipe the blood off of you. You then raced across the hall to storage closet 2 where Dot, Diego and a group of other people were all standing around.

"Hey everyone," You say frantically "We need to get out of here fast because I'm pretty sure I just committed a war crime."

"Oh, uh okay. Well, unfortunately, we couldn't grab a fully functioning briefcase in time because people came back to protect the briefcase room," Herb explains

"But, we still got one!" Dot explains positively "It just happens to be a one-way case. They become useless after one time jump."

"We've already set it up with the correct time and location. Halfway between FBI headquarters and the pub where Five is located." Herb adds "Here are some maps to show you how to get to those places."

You and Diego both reach out and grab a map.

"Thank you." You reply quickly

Diego turns to look at you,

"Ready to go, kiddo?"

You nodded your head quickly at him. Diego took the briefcase in one hand and wrapped his other arm around you tightly. Herb stepped forward and pushed a few buttons before stepping back you could feel the energy from the case start to grow as you tried to manage your breathing. Giving the group of people before you one last look, you say,

"Vive la résistance."

Almost immediately after there was a flash and now you stood with your brother in the middle of Dallas, back in 1963. You watched as the briefcase started smoking and making unpleasant clanking sounds. Finding a nearby dumpster, Diego threw the defunct briefcase away before coming back over to you and pulling out his map trying to figure out the path to the FBI building. It wasn't far from where you stood but every second spent standing around was another second closer to Vanya ending the world...again. Looking up from his map he looked towards you. You silently looked back at him and waited for him to say something. You could tell something was on his mind. Diego was torn. He wanted to bring you with him to the FBI headquarters so he knew where you were and didn't have to worry that you had been taken by Lila again but he didn't want to put in danger of what Vanya was doing. The last time Vanya strongly used her powers you were seriously injured and putting you right in harm's way of that was something he would never choose. Diego came to a decision in his head. It was going to take a lot to say this but Diego knew it was the best option.

"Go find Five. He'll keep you safe."

You were surprised by his statement. Diego had been very back and forth on you being with Five since every before Five came back, although he would never admit it. But this plus the comment from earlier were the strongest confirmations that maybe just maybe, Diego was coming around. Although his comments gave you reason to celebrate, this was not really the time and you were also very worried about him. You didn't want to be separated from your brother especially if he was headed to stop Vanya.

"Will you be okay?" You questioned

"I'll be fine." Diego responds "Now go get to Five. He can protect you from the commission more than I can."

Instead of saying any words you just took a step forward and hugged your brother. It was brief because time was of the essence but it was enough to reassure both him and yourself that things would be alright. You pulled away from Diego and the two of you gave each other knowing nods before turning in opposite directions and running towards your respective destinations. Using your powers you made yourself lighter so that you could move faster. You had no clue if the commission was after you. You wouldn't be surprised given you had pissed off both Lila and her mom, the handler. It didn't take you long to see the pub marked on your map up ahead. You slowed your pace as you made your way to the door and calmly entered the establishment. You looked around for a second before spotting a familiar uniformed boy, sitting alone at a table. You walked over to the table he was at and called,

"Five."

His head snaps over to you. His eyes were wide and his face was covered in sweat. You were taken aback by how frantic and unwell he looked. You cupped his face in your hands and felt the warmth radiating off of his skin. As you tried to cool down the water molecules in the sweat on his face you said,

"Oh my god, are you feeling okay darling? You look awful."

Five quietly stood up as you still held his face in your hands. He appreciated you using your powers to try and cool him down but he was confused as to what you were doing here.

"How did you find me?" He asked

"I'm fine." you instinctively responded

"That's not the question I asked." Five states "Also are these new clothes?"

"Listen, the specifics of the situation don't matter too much right now but I promise I will tell you later. What's the plan?" You inquired

"I- I don't know." Five states scratching the back of his neck "I'm still working on it."

"Don't worry, it's going to be okay." you comforted as you brought him into a hug "We'll figure this out together."

Five wrapped his arms back around you and held you tightly. IF he was experiencing any paradox psychosis, at that moment it melted away for a bit. Just you being with him gave him a sense of calm even though the world around him was anything but that. He just hoped that this calm would last even after Luther had returned.

As Luther had walked into the bathroom a few moments earlier, he sees Commission Five standing in front of the sink looking at the glass eye that would belong to the future, Harold Jenkins. Walking over to the urinals he comments to Five,

"Yeah, that's a waste of time. Trust me."

A waste of time? It was one of the only clues he had. How could it be a waste of time? "Then why were you holding it when I found you dead in the apocalypse?" Five questioned

"No idea. But the guy it belonged to didn't end the world. Vanya did." Luther stated "Timid little Vanya?" Five asked confused

"Yep. Is more powerful than all of us put together. Turns out, she was pissed about the way we treated her when we were kids, so she destroyed the moon and ended the world."

"Fair enough." Five said nodding his head "This is perfect. We now know exactly what's gonna happen."

"Yeah, except it, uh, already did," Luther replies approaching Five

Five turns to him with plenty of new ideas rushing through his mind. Not only how to stop the apocalypse and get this version of Five to disappear. He was unnecessary. "Don't think, just listen. Forget about the little jerk-off's plan. It's way too complicated. A much better plan is for us to travel to 2019. All we have to do is make nice with Vanya, stop her from destroying the world. Easy-peasy." Five explains "Hmm. Well, that's actually...that's not bad." Luther responds "But what about Five? I mean, you? I mean, the, uh, young you."

"That's not me. That's a teenaged hormonal photocopy that got botched in the time jump. Besides, it's too late for him anyway." Five states

"Too late? Paradox psychosis?" Luther inquires

Five nods his head, answering, "Best thing we can do is put him out of his misery." "You're saying to kill him?"

"You're thinking about this all wrong. We're not killing anybody." Five elaborates "Look at me. I'm Five, and I will still be alive. All we are doing is getting rid of a mutant doppelganger."

"Are you sure you don't have paradox psychosis?" Luther questions concerned "I've never felt better in my life." Five states

I just don't know Five..." Luther responds warily "(Y/N) wouldn't be very happy to know her boyfriend is gone from existence."

Commission Five stopped in his place. His head slowly turned back to look at Luther who had an innocent yet conflicted look on his face.

"Boyfriend?" He questioned surprised

"Yeah. Boyfriend." Luther responds "But like I was saying, I don't know about getting rid of him, this would be like the third time she's lost him- you...y'all? And she's really powerful and she almost killed me once for insulting Diego, and you remember the bank she blew that guy's head clean off. I just don't feel like it's the best idea to rip that Five away from her..."

Commission Five hadn't listened to a word Luther had said though because once the word boyfriend had slipped from Luther's mouth his heart began to race. If that version was her boyfriend that meant she loved him too. No. That would be insane. Maybe Luther said the words too fast and so he said boyfriend when he meant boy friend. There was no way that she felt the same way he did. Could she? Did she love him this whole time? Did she die loving him the same way he loved her? No, they were just friends. Just...friends. Five wanted to believe that what Luther was saying was true and that she did love him enough to have him be her boyfriend but it just didn't add up in his mind. How could she love someone who abandoned her in a different time, who took everything she knew away from her and left her wondering till the day she died if her best friend was mad at her. It was impossible though. Five looks up towards Luther who still towered over him like he did when they were kids.

"The little prick out there won't tell me jack about her." Five complains before asking quietly "What's she like Luther?"

"Well...I haven't been around her much but uh she's very powerful, more so than when we were kids. Uh, I mean she definitely cares about the people she loves, and um apparently she was dad's favorite both in 2019 and this timeline."

"That makes sense. When I read her diary she wrote about a lot of the things he did for her. Was too much to be coincidental."

"Wait what? He did stuff for her?" Luther questions

"Doesn't matter. So she's here? In this timeline?" Five inquires

"Uh- I don't know where but yeah," Luther responds

Five nods his head.

"Alright well, let's head out then." Five comments

As the two of them open the men's bathroom door and exit both of them see a sight they didn't know would be there. Five froze in place and his jaw dropped as he looked ahead of him.

"Oh look, there she is!" Luther commented

He was right. There you stood. Alive. Five could feel his heart stop and he didn't know if he was breathing anymore as he stared off at you. The world faded away as his focus became you and only you. Five could feel his heart clench as he remembered the last time he saw you alive. It was 45 years ago, right before you died. He remembered cradling you in his arms, blood getting on his academy uniform as he cried over your dead body. Tears pricked his eyes as he took all of you in. You were smiling, moving, breathing and to him, that was a miracle. He could only see the side of your face but the little shit was right, you were ethereal. As the world came back into focus he noticed you wrapped in the arms of his teenage counterpart. He saw the gentle look in his counterpart's eyes as your hands wrapped around his neck bringing him into a hug. Five wanted a hug from you, it had been so long since he had gotten one. As Five stood there, he felt Luther nudge his arm. Turning his attention to him, Luther says,

"Alright lover boy, time to get your head out of the clouds and go interact with the love of your life for the first time in years."

"Ah well, no...we're just- I mean..." Five stutters

"Oh, we're just best friends. Don't give me that shit you openly yelled about how you loved her when we were 12." Luther ridicules "Now c'mon let's go."

Luther starts to push Commission Five forwards back towards the table and Commission Five's heart begins to race with every step closer. As Academy Five noticed Commission Five head back towards the table he held you tighter to him. His face contorted into a scowl as he looked at this version of his approach towards you. He could see the look on his face, one of nervousness and awe. Academy Five didn't like it one bit and if it wasn't for you hugging him he felt like he would've punched the old man right where he stood. You felt as Five tensed up in the hug and pulled back to look at him. looking up at his face you saw it was filled with anger but couldn't begin to decipher why. You followed his gaze to see what had angered him so and when you looked behind you, you saw Luther standing there with an older gentleman. You looked back towards your boyfriend whose face was still filled with rage and asked,

"Five, who is this?"

Five stared the man down and let out a huff before replying,

"He's me."

________________________________

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natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

Queen live at Civic Auditorium Arena in Omaha, NE, USA - September 13, 1980

(x)

Fan Stories

“I don't know if anyone has ever been able to appreciate a rock concert as much as I did when I saw Queen at age 7. I knew the order the songs were supposed to be in, the way the stage was supposed to look, and what the band was supposed to do. And everything happened perfectly. Except for that damn mustache. Late summer 1980, I was pestering my mom to take me into town to get candy. She said, "Do you really want to get candy, or would you rather get tickets to see Queen?" I stopped in my tracks and started being the nicest boy you could imagine. I thought maybe she was kidding, but knew she wouldn't kid me about something like that. I guess my dad had already OKd it too. Like Axl Rose once said about Queen: "They meant everything to me." We drove all the way to Omaha to get tickets: they were $9 in advance, or $11 the day of the show if still available (though now I'm not sure how they weren't sold out immediately). I'm still not quite sure why Queen was playing smaller arenas at that point, since I think they had already begun playing stadiums. Finally, September 13 arrived. I was in 2nd grade. Ads had been all over the radio for this concert. One of my baby-sitters and two of her friends rode up with us also, and they went off on their own when we got there. The show was one of those infamous "general admission" things, so our seats depended solely on how early we arrived. I think we got to the arena at about 9 am... almost a full 12 hours before the show actually started (much longer in 7-year-old hours). A single word, "QUEEN", was boldly displayed on the marquee above the many doors where small lines were beginning to form. Excited bands of people were running/gathering everywhere. Queen was one of the biggest five bands in the world at that time: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was on the charts, The Game had just been released, and "Another One Bites the Dust" was soon-to-be released as a single. We picked one of the lines and got ready for what was indeed halfway dangerous: the growing mob of people ready to run in when the doors would open. This was a big issue of the time, as it was the year before that 11 people were crushed to death at the turnstiles of a Who concert. (An episode of the TV show W.K.R.P. in Cincinnati even focused on this.) People were starting to press onto the transparent doors trying to look inside, when suddenly there was the sound of tires screeching from the street: a white limousine honked twice and sped around the corner toward the other side of the arena, and was gone within seconds. The "big kids" screamed and ran after it; I was too small to do this, but we got better places in line! When everyone came back, they said they actually saw Freddie and John get out of it and be scuffled into the building before getting attacked by the mob of people. In the meantime, others around us were starting to talk to my mom. Two of them were a man and a lady who were apparently on date, and they ended up even staying by and sitting by us through the show. Some other people also offered to kind of stay around my mom and I to make sure I'd be safe on the way in. A couple of times, a big fat drunk guy yelled out, "Who's your favorite group?" and of course everyone yelled "Queen!"

Now people were beginning to bang on the doors of the entrance. I think the doors finally opened at around 11 am. When they did, we and other people from several sides of the arena moved in, towards those coming in from other doors on opposite sides: within seconds, everyone had funneled from outside to stopping cold in the lobby, having basically run into each other. This is exactly where everyone stayed for the next two hours. A human shield of several people were intact around my mom and I preventing my being crushed... and all I could see for two hours were a bunch of butts! Once in awhile someone would try and lift me up to see all the people. From the distance, the drunk guy again repeated the "Who's your favorite band?" line a couple of times, realizing that more people could hear him now that he was indoors and echoing, and everyone gave the appropriate response. By the fifth time, only the drunk people were responding to him, and by the tenth time people were laughing and moaning. Every so often, some loud music would come out of the arena like a band was tuning-up, but it wasn't Queen music so everyone figured it was just the opening act. At 1 pm, the turnstiles were finally opened. I was kind of keeping my guard around me as everyone pressed forward, and everything was moving faster the closer we got, but by surveying the area I thought I'd be safe. I had my ticket in my hand. The guy from the couple was going to try and enter first, then me, and then my mom. When I got to the turnstiles, my mom and the guy grabbed my arms on both sides and completely hoisted me over. A surprised old man tore my ticket while I was in mid-air. Suddenly, we were standing relatively calmly inside: the difficult part was over, and we were at least safe from here on out. People were still running everywhere and screaming, but the hallways were pretty big so it wasn't too dangerous as long as we stayed toward the edge. Most people were still outside, since we were somewhat early. An older 12-year-old tore around the corner, then his '70s-style tennis shoes screeched against the floor and he fell down for a second as he decided to which way to go. We knew we were sort of on a mission to walk fast toward a balcony and just get seats instead of wandering around indecisively like others. We went straight up toward the second level balcony, as others ran the opposite way down to the main floor. My mom and I and the people we'd befriended walked right next to the wall, and I pressed against it while just a few feet away scattered groups of people would sometimes run by full-speed. I would have wanted to be on the main floor, but my mom had previously explained to me how, unless we were in the balcony, we would have to actually stand through the whole show (there weren't any chairs on the main floor) and would hardly be able to see anything. Plus, along with the horror stories of people running in at the beginning of a rock concert, I had also heard how people supposedly got crushed to death against the stage... so sitting in the balcony was just fine with me. We got two seats in the front of the second balcony, just by the railing to the balcony below. We were on the right side of the arena, about halfway back, so we couldn't complain. Now, I knew this was the beginning of the biggest wait: sitting in the same spot from 1 in the afternoon to about 9 at night.

The main parts of the stage I liked (from viewing the pictures in my Live Killers album) were intact: the steps were lined with lights under Roger's drums, and middle of the main stage had a small plank stage that stuck out for Freddie to walk on, where the crowd could touch him but not too easily. Most of the instruments, and all of Roger's drum set, were covered in giant sheets of plastic. I'd never seen such big speakers; I had a flashback when I saw the black and white photo to the right because that's what they looked like with the house lights up. Throughout the afternoon, the lights in the arena would go out, then come back on... like we were being teased. Finally when it was about time for the opening band, the lights went off longer than usual and the band took the stage. The opening band was someone we had never heard of, and my mom and I both can't even remember who it was now (two people have e-mailed me saying it was a band called "Dakota"). I don't think they had any hits, and then apparently disappeared soon after. The crowd tolerated the first two or three songs. Then, every song ended with "Just one more song!" much to the audience's vocal dismay. I went on a trip to the bathroom, and they were still playing when I came back. Then they left. Ten minutes later, they came back and said "Just one more song!" and I think they played three. People were yelling, "We want Queen!" People were getting harsh to the point it was just uncomfortable even seeing the band on the stage. Everyone cheered when they left. The lights came back on. Another two hours. Just seeing them walk across the stage would have been enough for me, so at that age I really couldn't comprehend being in their presence for a whole two-hour concert. This wait was easier though because every second we knew the show could start. Seeing Queen still seemed like it was too good to be true, like some act of God would occur just before the show to prevent it. Then, the lights went out. There's no feeling like the wait in total darkness just before a Queen concert. It was 10 minutes of black and the loudest screaming I'd ever heard. I remember it was "scary" and so I think Brian might have also been playing the weeping guitar sound like the beginning of the We Will Rock You concert video. It was a good scary feeling though, like going up the first hill of a roller coaster. After several minutes of intense darkness and the crowd screaming, when I felt like my ears didn't have room for any more sound to enter (though I loved it), the even louder sound of thunder clapped across the arena with an incredibly blinding light. I could see everyone on the main floor have to turn completely around in unison toward the back of the arena because the lights were so bright. I kept trying to glance at the stage to see what was happening, but it was too bright to see anything... plus, in between the flashes, it was too dark to see anything. It was sort of an unnerving state, being totally blinded in that big of a place with that many people, and coming to the realizaton that it would be unthinkable to actually move around and that we were basically helpless. I was holding my mom's hand. Queen had the whole crowd paralyzed in their tracks before the show even began.

I'm not sure if the lights all rose up like in the We Will Rock You video or not (since we couldn't see), or if they were already raised because of the opening band. Eventually the thunder and noise turned to music. Finally, through my wincing, Freddie Mercury was suddenly in front of my own little eyes on the front extended stage in all the smoke. I'd never even seen a celebrity in person before, much less my idol at the time. I didn't think they would open with the fast version of "We Will Rock You" for some reason, since that's at the beginning of the Live Killers album and I thought they would want to do something different, but was surprised that they opened with a non-Queen song: "Jailhouse Rock". The stage looked similar to that in the We Will Rock You concert video, with the smaller panels of lights replacing the single giant panel from previous tours; however, I'm certain there was at least another entire, higher level of moving lights (not only from seeing them at the concert, but also looking at the pictures for years afterwards). The lights in the We Will Rock You video seem extremely cut-back. Instead of one row of panels of lights across the back of the stage, the panels were all over the place and the ones above the band moved straight up and down on poles and tilted back and forth. There were also little men somehow sitting amongst the panels who manually operated at least a dozen spotlights, and more guys doing this from a small section hanging down from the ceiling at the middle of the arena. Since the spotlights were directed from the top of the arena, there wasn't a big bulky spotlight booth in the middle of the main floor taking up space, and the audio booth was placed along the right side of the arena (down not to far from us) so it wasn't in anyone's way. In the darkness between a lot of the songs, flashlights darted around the stage... we couldn't figure out if it was the band or engineers setting things up. Thankfully, no one came out on stage before the show to announce the band (I've always thought this is really cheesy). Freddie had on those red leather pants with the blue knee-pads... and, unfortunately, that ugly mustache! "What do you think about my new mustache?" Freddie asked. (Mixed applause.) "Some people don't like it, but I just say 'fu** 'em.'" (Crowd goes wild.). Freddie drank some water, then tossed the rest out onto the crowd along with his cup. He tossed his tambourine out later, and I couldn't imagine what it would actually be like to touch it. Freddie also had that long silver microphone stand that he always danced around with in the videos. He was running all over the place; one second he was on the plank at our side of the arena, the next at the other side. The three high school girls who rode up with us were excited because when he went to the end of one of the planks he ended up level and close to them in the balcony (but upset because, had one not been on crutches, they would have stayed on the main floor where Freddie tossed his tambourine!). Once or twice I remember looking into the middle of the arena and some kind of explosion occurred in mid-air (apparently launched from the lighting duct at the top of the arena). There weren't that many lighters in the audience, but instead everyone was using those green glow-sticks that come out around Halloween (I think these were new at the time). The audience kept throwing their green glow sticks up on the stage until at times it was covered, and more than once Brian kicked off some back into the audience (and I think he might have been getting upset but I'm not sure!).

There were numerous parts of the show I knew had to be there... and they all were. The first was the "scary" sound effects and section of "Get Down, Make Love", where Queen showed off their lights. (At that age, I thought the erotic sound effects were simply supposed to represent the monster breaking-in on the cover of News of the World). Smoke shrouded the band, as the panels of lights took over and moved around to the audience's ooohs and aaahs. My mom and I were trying to figure out what was on Roger's bass drum, since it didn't look like an album cover; it turned out to be the white "face" design, also in the We Will Rock You video. Back then, concerts didn't have big video screens, so we just had to use the binoculars that we'd brought. Some spotlights were gathering on Freddie and Brian as they went to sit on two stools toward the right of the stage, and my mom got excited because we knew "Love of My Life" was coming. Freddie announced, "This is our first time in Omaha... " as the song started, and got the crowd to sing along like on the Live Killers album. Meanwhile, I had become a source of info for those around who wanted to know what the songs were; every time a new song would start, people would ask me what it was! I really don't know if anyone has ever actually been able to appreciate a concert as much as I did that night: I was only 7, but had every album except the first two, and knew every song they played except maybe two or three. But what's interesting is how fans often wish they could experience how a "classic" band was 20 years prior... and this is strangely how I felt I was experiencing the show, because at my age it seemed like Queen had been around 20 years. There were parts of the show, including the stage design, that were "legendary" to me, but were only 2-3 years old in reality. Now, 20 years later, they're legendary to everyone else. Periodically, the guy next to me changed the tape in his "hidden" tape recorder. We knew the show was close to the end when "Bohemian Rhapsody" began. Everyone clapped to the pre-recorded opera section, and as the Live Killers liner notes say: "The audience and the lights take care of the rest." The crowd went nuts when Roger hit the famous gong at the end.

I think there were two or three more songs, and then everything went black for about 10 minutes. Could it be that they were actually not going to play the standard "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions/God Save the Queen" closing? The house lights may have even come on for awhile, then went back off. A few people were starting to leave, and I kept telling my mom that they had to end the concert that way, because that's the only way a Queen concert ends... but then even I was having doubts. Finally, the yellow lights around the gong all turned on, pointing directly on Roger, who started the drums of "We Will Rock You" and everyone stomped their feet and clapped. Of course "We Are the Champions" was next, and Freddie shook some of the hands flailing in front of the stage while singing it. I remember there was one hand jumping up and down that never got shook! Freddie bent his neck way back when he sang "... of the world!" at the very end like I knew he was supposed to from videos on TV, and we hoped for another song but knew that was probably going to be it. A grand finale of Queen's famous pyrotechnics began shooting everywhere from the stage, the lights were all moving around, and everyone was jumping all over in the aisles. Soon the pre-recorded Night at the Opera version of "God Save the Queen" did begin playing...but, nobody really sang to it since this is America and no one knows the words! At this point, I tried to make sure I was truly fathoming what it was like to actually see the band members in front of me since they'd be gone soon. Freddie was still dancing around and danced out a little door behind the drums, and the rest of the band followed one-by-one, with John being last as he waved to everybody one last time. The lights flickered and moved some more to the rest of the song, slowly going dark along with the rest of the arena, with the final rise of the crowd's applause. Perfect. Except for that damn mustache. We walked down what seemed like endless spiraling stairs on the way out...extremely slowly this time. My ears had that weird "ringing" feeling like everyone said I'd have, but that I'd never experienced before. Spotlights were panning the sky outside. We said goodbye to the couple we'd been with during the show. A guy in his late 20s started talking to us on the long way out; he laughed and told me how he'd also had to argue with his mom who said Queen would never come to Omaha. My mom asked him if he thought I'd even remember the whole thing since I was so little. He looked down at me, saw my grin from ear-to-ear, and said, "He'll never forget this."” - Jim

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

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chandelier-s-notebook · 3 years

Text

Doodlewash April 2021 prompt 20: Roses

Songfic using Black Roses by Aviators.

The color black has often been synonymous with death and mourning and is usually used at funerals. But black roses do have a more positive meaning as well. They can stand for the beginning of new things and major change.

Reminder 93-10-01 = Tommy 83-11-03 = Hannahxxrose 93-08-02 = CupToast/Crumb 66-16-01 = Plushys 09-10-01 = Purpled

If anyone wants to be part of a taglist of the Vigilante AU, feel free to message me/send an ask/or mention it in reblogs.

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We are husks

Plushys had been trapped in the warehouse on 1889 Coral Lane, not that she knew where she was, for eight months now. When she was taken it no one took her nail file off of her person. She hid it in her hair when she was forced to change into the warehouse uniform.

She got two meals a day, and she started a tally on the wall. At every other meal, another tally was put on the wall with her nail file.

But the tallies were very much racking up. She was tried. She wanted to go home.

After five months she was given a cellmate; 83-11-03, Hannah Rose. Hannah was a street rat. She grew up fighting for her place in the world. She clawed her way to get what she had; only for it to be ripped away by a group of men and a white van.

After Plushys made her new tally on Hannah’s first day she offered the girl the nail file. Hannah made her first mark, and settled in for the long run.

Plushys and Hannah were placed in the same fighting ability category. They’ve been pitted against each other a few times.

The people in charge of the fighting ring have a few wants. They make money by keeping the bettors as patrons. And the way to do that is to have a suspenseful fight. Plushys and Hannah deliver on the wants of the criminals.

Hannah was a street rat. Plushys was the twin sister of a vigilante. They knew how to fight. They knew how to make an event.

They had learned how to riff off each other. They could fight to the brink of the end only to comeback down in a way that was satisfying for the audience and kept up the suspense. They did this for a few reasons: one, they didn’t want to hurt each other; two, they needed to keep the criminals happy; three, the longer they went on for, the more time the other kids could rest up and get in the mindset; and four, it was a little fun when neither party cared too much.

“66-16-01 v. 83-11-03!”

Plushys caught 5up’s eye in the crown. “Please get us out of here,” her eyes begged.

Hannah threw the first punch. She was so ready to get out of here.

Alive but barely breathing

Crumb was not okay. She just wasn’t. She may have been born in District 93 but she was privileged by their standards. She had a loving mother and father and a stable live. She wasn’t built for fighting.

The only thing keeping her afloat and winning was her fear instincts driving her. And a few lessons by Hannah and Tommy during whatever downtime they could squeeze out.

If she doesn’t fight, her opponent was going to break her; literally.

Just because she could didn’t mean she liked it. She was forever grateful that Hannah and her cellmate 66-16-01 took forever to finish up. It gave her time to collect herself and to hind in her mind palace. She could hide away and repress the memories once all this was over.

Hannah suggested it to her. Tommy cautioned that one day the walls would fall and the memories would hit her like a freight train.

Crumb didn’t have the capacity; she was already going through so much trauma. What was a little more after the fact?

Sure she trusted them with her life, but she wanted her parents to help her feel completely safe to break.

The gong sounded. Hannah had 66-16-01 in a chokehold and the latter had tapped out. Crumb should really learn her name.

“And next to the mat 93-08-02 v. 87-08-01!”

Hannah offered 66-16-01 her hand. She ruffled Crumb’s hair in a comforting way as they passed.

The two eight year old girls bowed to each other; shaking, the both of them. “Meri.”

“Crumb.”

Crumb was not okay. But she had to be. She had to keep going.

Sometimes we pull ourselves together

If Hannah and Plushys’ version of rebellion was to play with their food and drag their fights out for just shy of too long. Then Tommy’s act of defiance was beating his opponents in as little time as possible. Even that one time he was given a fight against eight people, he was done with them all in about five minutes.

That year Tommy spent living in alleyways really helped here.

He rolled his shoulders up straight in the ring, six moaning bodies on the floor, bruises forming on his skin. The others looking much worse than he did.

He was honestly surprised that none of them were bleeding. Wasn’t that a pleasant thought?

He stood there, breathing heavy, for a moment. An uncomfortably long moment. Like they were waiting to see is any of his opponents was going to get up and fight back.

The gong sounded.

Tommy stared defiantly at the audience, unblinking, as aids put the six other kids on stretchers and got them medical attention.

“93-10-01 wins another match.”

But our efforts fade away

With every trip to the Warehouse on 1889 Coral Lane for intel, 5up hates his father more and more.

That man saw no problem with whatever was going on here.

In fact, now that he was going to the fights with his father, the man was paying more attention to him than he had in years. 5up hated it. He hated everything about this.

At least he now knew for sure what kind of person he needed to be to get his father’s approval. A guide on what not to do.

5up stared back at 93-10-01. This kid. This kid. He had so much spirit, and he was using it to fuel his rage.

5up could tell that 93-10-01 was tried. That he wanted to go home. Soon.

Soon. They were in the final stages of planning. They had a big enough team. They’d only need to hold out a little longer.

“93-10-01 wins another match.”

5up half-raised his hand, signaling he would be cashing out.

93-10-01 turned his head away and walked off.

We are dust

Plushys, Hannah, Tommy, and Crumb sat together in the children’s canteen.

“I hate him,” Tommy said.

“Who?”

“Mr. Nicchi Jr.”

“Give him time,” Pushys said. “This is a big job.”

“I know.” Tommy look at Crumb. He put some of his greens onto her place. “I don’t know how much longer we can hold you though.”

“I know.”

“And he’s a bettor.”

“He has too,” Plushys said. “It’s his cover. He can’t come in here and just demand they let everybody go. It’ll be more intense than that.”

“I know.”

“I promise he’s a vigilante.”

Tommy swallowed his food. He glanced at Hannah out the corner of his eye. “I trust you.” He took another bite. “I have too.”

Plushys looked around the canteen. She stabbed her fork into a softened carrot and held it above her head. “A toast. To eight months.”

Tommy raised a fork as well. “To three.”

Crumbling by the moment

“To three.” Hannah raised her fork and carrot as well. She ate the steamed vegetable and went back to longingly looking around.

Her spirit was falling.

But it shouldn’t be.

She was a street rat. She knew how to do this. She knew how to fight and she knew how to win.

She was very close to breaking down and lashing out, but that didn’t go well for the last kid that did that.

Hannah was tried. She felt dead. She didn’t want to do this anymore. She wants to leave, but she can’t.

Even if the door is right there.

The door outside was right next to her and Plushys’ cell. They had a nail file. They could break the bars.

But she can’t leave everyone else behind.

We try to push away the ending

“93-10-01.”

“What?”

The guard gestured to the food tray in front of Tommy.

“Right.” Tommy stood up. “I’ll see you guys next time.”

“Bye Tommy.”

“Just hold on a little longer.”

“We’ll be fine.”

Tommy grabbed another tray for Purpled and made his way down to room 322.

“Hey.”

Purpled grunted.

“I do not understand why they have this gag on you.”

Purpled shrugged. He jokingly try to bite Tommy three seconds later though.

“Hey. Without me you wouldn’t eat.”

Purpled gasped. “You would never do that to me would you?”

This was nice; both of them pretend that they aren’t kidnapping children and just two bros hanging out. Ignoring that Tommy was fork feeding Purpled food, as they still had him chained up.

“So when are you breaking us out?” Purpled asks.

“What? Where did that came from?”

“Seems like something you’d do.”

“I mean yeah.” Tommy looked down at the food. He lowered his voice, “Someone’s coming to help us.”

“I hope so.” Purpled looked away from Tommy’s fork. “Punz will come for me.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said distractedly. He honestly didn’t know if he should tell Purpled that there was a group of vigilantes coming to get them, the heroes. He was a posh upper ten boy, what would be think? ”Purpled? What do you think about vigilantes?”

Purpled took a bite of his food and thought about it while he chewed. “Vigilantes are unregulated menaces that try to do good.” Purpled tipped his head forward. “They do good. They do good, I know that.”

“You know that? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve seen the records. Heroes have notes on every problem creator – that they know of. But there are different categories between vigilantes and dipshits.”

“Dipshits?”

“Well that’s not what they’re called in the system. It’s more formal. But, like. vigilantes create problems for heroes, and dipshits create problems for vigilantes. Those guys can’t really be called really villains can they?”

“No. No they aren’t. Usually just the local robber.”

Purpled laughed. “The local robber?”

“Yeah. That’s a thing that exists in the lower districts.”

“You ever seen a local robber?”

“Sure. Had to hide behind a few shelves at the grocery store. Dude had a gun.”

“What the hell?”

“Just because District 9 is little crime free doesn’t mean the rest of us get that.”

“What the hell?”

“People gotta do what they gotta do.”

“And that doesn’t get reported?”

“Purpled if every single crime was reported to Hero HQ the whole system would collapse in on its self because of how many things they would have to deal with.”

“But-“

“Purpled. Vigilantes keep us safe.”

“Heroes keep us crime free,” Pured countered.

“And poverty keeps me the local thief in my area.”

“You’re what? Don’t vigilantes get called on you?”

“Nah. I’m just a kid. I don’t need much and I’m not messy about it. There are so many other kids doing that as well. They don’t really care.”

“What does that mean?”

“Literally all the food stalls just give out extra produce that’s going to go bad at the end of the day so they don’t have to worry about thieves during the day.”

“What?” Purpled’s mind was exploding the more Tommy told him about how he lived.

“Loose the same amount of coins but there’s no crime going on. And the food is already almost bad anyways so it’s going to get thrown out.”

“Why would you give out rotting food to children?”

“They don’t give out rotting food!” Tommy defended. “People just don’t buy the strawberry’s that are four days old when fresh ones are right there on the table. And even if the food is almost going bad, it’s going to get eaten that night so it doesn’t really matter.”

Purpled opened the closed his mouth a couple times. “I hope Captain comes for me.”

“Captain?” Tommy offered Purpled another bite of his dinner.

“Captain Sparklez? Lives in District 87?”

“Oh that guy. He helps vigilantes sometimes I’ve heard. He’s probably coming.”

“It’s going to be a group of vigilantes isn’t it? Punz isn’t coming for me?”

Tommy decided that honestly was the best policy. “I don’t know.”

And black roses fall the same

Hannah and Plushys both added another tally to their calendars.

Hannah started to file away at the bars on the cell wall. It might be helpful when they were finally able to get out of here.

Hannah looked at the black roses growing through the cracks in their exterior wall.

“We’re getting out of here.”

“We will be free,” Plushys added.

Taglist:

@causeimfabulous @anty-kreatywna @sleepysnails

#HannahxxRose #Plushys #TommyInnit #CupToast #Purpled #5up #Vigilante AU #DoodlewashApril2021

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hearteyesbowen · 4 years

Note

hey babes, just have a request. im sorta playing around with this idea myself, but i wanna see where you take it. could you do a ricky bowen one where the reader is nini's sister and she looks up to nini a lot and so shes given up a lot for her. like she really liked ricky before he started to date nini but she never did anything about because she just cares so much about being a good sister? LMAO that's really freaking specific but yea.

what sisters are for ☆ ricky bowen

y/n loves nini to death, she’s her sister. she just want to see nini happy, even if it means sparing her own feelings

warnings: kinda angst, mainly fluff, long, very much unedited

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Here, Nina, you can have mine.” You smiled, giving your older sister your cupcake.

She looked up from her gaze at the floor, water droplets clouding the carpeted floor underneath her chin. She wiped her flushed cheeks with the back of her hand, stumbling to get up and fixing her festive, red dress. You hold out your cupcake in your hand, hoping it would help her stop crying. She picked the treat from your hand and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, tightly hugging you close to her.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

You smiled at the memory brought back by the photo in your hand, both of you were six at the time. Nini and your cousins were running around the house as you helped your mothers serve food to your relatives and other family friends. Your grandma put on display some freshly baked and iced cupcakes, the smell of the french vanilla catching the attention of the kids. They all ran towards the table of desserts, each grabbing their own goodies from the counter. You managed to save the last cupcake for yourself, until you noticed your sister wasn’t around. You squeezed past your family members until you saw Nini on the floor crying. That was when you offered her your treat.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” You heard Nini’s voice ask after she knocked on your open bedroom door.

She climbed your bed, sitting down next to you and peering over your shoulder. Her laugh ringed through your ear as she picked up the photo and looking at it closely. You had matching dresses, hers red and yours green, with a black brow wrapped around the waist. Nini was holding your hand while the other held the cupcake you gave her, smiling brightly at the camera in front of her. You used to hate photos, so you tried your best to give a big smile to match your sister.

“You were so dramatic back then, crying over a cupcake.” You joked.

Nini’s mouth widened as she shoved your shoulder, “You know that wasn’t true. Our cousin pushed me and laughed in my face as I cried. He was so rude.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

“You’re a bully.” She complained.

“You’re a baby.”

She grabbed the pillow behind you and smacked it across your face. You gasped, immediately pushing her off your bed, making her fall on the floor. Her hair was tossled across her face, some strands peaking upwards. You held your stomach as you laughed intensely, Nini matching you.

“If you two girls don’t get ready soon, you’re going to be late for school!” Your mother yells from downstairs.

➢➣ ➢➣

You and Nini enter through the open school doors, squeezing through the tight hallways and the multiple students standing in large groups or barely moving an inch for you to move faster. You both managed to make it through and get to your locker, awaiting Kourtney to come by and greet you two.

“So, is EJ going to be with us during lunch?” You wonder, twisting the knob of your locker and opening it.

Nini grabbed her textbook and put it away in her bag quickly before responding, “Yeah, Kourtney wants to discuss some of the outfits she put together for our costumes. Sound good with you?”

“All good.” You reply, grinning at her.

“Did someone say Kourtney?”

You giggle, turning around to see your friend strutting towards you both. Kourtney comes up and gives you a quick hug, soon giving one to your sister as well.

“How are my favorite twins doing?”

Nini laughed, “We don’t even look that much the same.”

“Still twins. By the way, I saw Ricky on my way here, and I overheard him talking to Big Red about wanting to talk with you about something.” Kourtney warned, pointing at your sister.

“What would be want to talk to me about?”

“I’m not sure, but it didn’t seem too serious. Now let’s hang out in class until the bell rings, because I am not being late again.” Kourtney joked, wrapping her arm around your shoulder.

You laughed, “Yeah, I need to rest my headache from Nini hitting me in the head this morning.”

“Weren’t you the one who pushed me off your bed?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As the three of you walked to class, you started to blush as you thought about Ricky again. You and Ricky knew each other for a long time; kindergarten; to be exact. The earliest memory you can think of with him was when he helped you up after you fell off the swing set during recess. After that, you and Ricky would push each other on the swing everyday and make sure neither of you went up too high. You introduced Nini to Ricky later on, and they grew to be good friends as well.

Even when the three ( five, once you all met Kourtney and Big Red ) reached high school, you managed to stay extremely close with each other, you and Ricky significantly closer. Freshman year, you discovered you had different feelings towards Ricky, some you never felt before. You haven’t had a crush before, Nini would talk about it, but you never understood her. Of course, you being you, those emotions were hidden away. Sophomore year came around, your feelings towards Ricky grew, and you were just about to gain the courage to ask him out. Then, Nini had asked out Ricky before you could. You weren’t mad, how could you? You never talked to her about how you felt about Ricky to her before. When he agreed to go out with Nini, you were happy for them. There was no chance you would be able to tell her that you liked Ricky, you only told Kourtney about it. After that, you pushed away those feelings again, locking it in a box, and throwing it towards the bottom of the ocean.

Their relationship was short-lived, however. Ricky and Nini only dated for six months , and had a mutual breakup with each other. There was only one night you comforted Nini about their relationship, and it was the same day it happened. They become more awkward with each other, Kourtney stopped talking to him altogether, and you tried your best to keep your friendship alive with him. As far as you knew, Ricky and Nini were still friends, just more distant. Now, after meeting him in a summer camp for acting, she began to date EJ, and you couldn’t be more happy for her.

➢➣ ➢➣

“Hey, babe, you want to come with me to get lunch?” EJ asked, resting both his hands on Nini’s shoulders.

You, Nini, and Kourtney looked up from your conversation to see EJ smiling brightly.

“Hello, Kourtney, Y/N.”

You and Kourtney wave back at him, giddily smiling at each other over how cute he was to Nini. Nini turned in her seat at the cafeteria table you were sat at and stood up to hug her boyfriend.

“Sure, let me just get my wallet.”

She begins to dig through her backpack, her eyebrows furrowed and a frown built upon her face. After a few more seconds of rummaging around her bag, she groans.

“Crap, I think I left my wallet at home.”

You shake your head at your sister. You pull out your wallet and bring out a $10 bill. You give a light shove to Nini’s arm, offering her the money.

“Here, I’m not going to eat lunch today. Don’t like what they have.” You shrug.

Nini shakes her head rapidly, “No, you don’t have to do that.”

“Just take it, nerd.”

She sighs, hesitantly grabbing the bill and hugging you from behind tightly. She thanks you right before she took EJ’s hand and went to get lunch.

You turned back to Kourtney, wanting to continue talking about her plans for all the actors’ costumes. She had a smirk on your face, confusing you.

“What’s wrong with you?” You question.

“So Nini and Ricky talked during third period today.”

You squinted your eyes at her, tilting your head slightly to the side. “Ok, and?”

“Nini told me what they discussed.”

“And?”

“It was about you!” She rushed, quickly tapping the table underneath her hands.

Your eyes widened, suddenly feeling your heart rate pick up. You shook your head, not believing what your friend had told you.

“About what?” You wonder.

“We’re back!” Nini smiled, placing her tray down in front of her along with EJ. “Thanks again, I’ll pay you back at home.”

You give her a quick smile. Nini and EJ go back into a conversation while you look back at Kourtney. She nods at you, smiling.

A vibration from your phone startled you. You picked up your phone and saw it was a text from Ricky. Your heart stopped, you instinctively started to bounce your leg up and down.

“Uhm, Ricky wants to meet up. I’ll see you guys later.” You say confusingly.

“See you in class.” Nini smiled as Kourtney winked at you.

You didn’t even notice your sister and friend giddily squealing with each other as you walked away from their table.

Ricky’s text said to meet you at the staircase by the auditorium. Most of the students at this time were in the cafeteria, making it easier for you to veer through the school and make it to the staircase. You didn’t want to run, why would you willingly run anyways, but you did speed across the hallways.

Once you finally reached the staircase, you carefully made your way down the steps as to not fall down. You turned to go down the final flight of steps, and immediately noticed Ricky sitting on the last step. You only saw his back side, but it was enough to make you blush.

“Ricky?” You call, making the boy turn his head and stand up immediately.

He instantly smiled at you, running one hand through his curls and the other patting down his green hoodie.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m surprised you came to talk to me.”

You finished walked down the steps, standing on the last one where he sat before and making you almost match his height.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend.”

“I know, it’s just been a bit different since we really got to talk like this.”

“And may I ask why we are here?”

Ricky scratched the back of his neck, breaking eye contact from you to look around the area. You moved your head to try and meet his eyeline, hoping he would look at you.

“I’ve had something on my mind for a while, and I feel like you should know.”

Your heart started beating quickly again, feeling your face warm up and your hands beginning to fumble with each other.

“What is it?”

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few seconds before staring back at you. His small gaze alone surely made your cheeks flush.

“For these past few weeks, few months, actually, I could not stop thinking about you.”

Your mouth opened slightly, and your eye widened. No noise was able to come out of your mouth, his words made you completely shocked.

“It’s been a little over a year since Nini and I dated, and for that time we were together, it didn’t feel real.”

“What do you mean?” You asked in a hush tone.

“It just didn’t feel like a real relationship. I did like her, but something just didn’t feel right. After a while we sort of lost that spark, you know?”

You were scared for Ricky to finish his sentence. Everything you could have thought he was going to say terrified you.

“When Nini stopped talking to me, I was somewhat ok. I mean, yeah, we’re friends, but it didn’t bother me as much. But then you stopped talking to me, too, and I realized what was happening.”

He took a short pause, as if he was trying to find the right way to phrase what he would say next.

“I thought I lost you, like we would never be friends again, and that caused me the most heartbreak. We would still talk, you know? Even when Nini and I were together, we were still best friends. But those few months that we barely spoke to each other, it was like a piece of me was missing. I needed you, more than anything in the world. I know it sucks, especially because I dated your sister, and it took me so long to realize this, but I have to know. Do you like me the way that I like you?”

You felt like you were going to faint. This is what you have always wanted; for Ricky to tell you that he felt the same way about you. But none of this felt right. It was as if you were stabbing your sister in the back. How could you date your sister’s ex boyfriend? How selfish could you be to say yes to him?

You mustered up the courage to finally speak up. “Ricky,”

“Yeah?” He responded hopefully, his body starting to lean closer to yours.

“I do like you, for like, a long time.”

Ricky let out a relieved breath, slowly inching his head closer to yours. Your breath hitched in your throat just as his nose touched yours, but you placed a hand on his chest, preventing him from moving any closer.

“But I can’t be with you.”

He pulled away, his smiled faded into a frown.

“You still dated my sister, and I know you mean no harm, but I can’t do that to her. I really do like you, and I wish I would be with you the way you want to, but we can’t. It’s not right.”

He shook his head sadly, taking a small step back from where you stood. You felt a pain in your chest as you regretted rejecting him.

An awkward silence grew over you two, making you feel uneasy. Your skin itched the more you stood quietly.

“We’re still friends, right?” You asked shyly.

The corner of Ricky’s lips turned upwards, a sense of relief washed over you. “Always.”

“Let me know if you change your mind, I’m always here.”

You grinned, holding your arms out for Ricky to come to you. He greatfully scooted closer and wrapped his arms around your waist, yours around his neck. You felt so comfortable again, having him hold you. His hands on your torso felt like it grew slightly tighter. You mirrored him by holding him closer to you for a little longer.

➢➣ ➢➣

“Can we talk?”

You looked up from your laptop on your lap. Your back was up against the headboard of your bed, typing out some of your homework assigned. Nini was standing by the doorway, a soft smile on her face.

“Yeah, something wrong?” You shut your laptop and put it on your bedside table, making room for your sister.

She climbed your bed and sat in front of you, crossing her legs. “I know what you did today.”

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and rolling your head back.

“Look, Nini, I’m so sorry-”

“Why? I’m not mad.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise I-wait, what?” You ramble.

“Ricky told me what happened. He said that he finally told you that he liked you, and you felt the same but you wouldn’t do anything because you didn’t want to hurt me.”

“I never want to disrespect you, you’re my sister.”

Nini sighed as she crawled up next to you and sit right by your side. She placed her hand on your arm, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t you think I know how much you have given up for me for our entire lives?”

You raised an eyebrow, confused as to what she was implying.

“Like that Christmas when you gave me your cupcake, and when you took the blame for me for knocking over that vase, and when you hid your feelings for Ricky from me, and when you gave me $10 to buy lunch, and now you rejected Ricky just because you didn’t want to hurt me.”

“Wait, you knew I liked Ricky?”

“I figured it out after we broke up.”

You groaned, resting your elbows on your knees and shoving your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop being sorry, Y/N. You have done so much for me, and I have been the terrible sister for not being able to do anything for you. I’m sorry.”

You shook your head at your sister, but she held up her hand before you could continue.

“Let me do something for you. Text Ricky right now and say you will go out an a date with him.”

“No, Nini, I can’t.” You started.

“Trust me, it’s weird for me, too. It’s so weird to think of my sister and my ex being together. But you deserve to be happy, and it’s not like I hate his guts or anything.”

You both laugh together. You finally felt complete relief inside, especially now that your sister was happy for you. You brought your sister into your arms, hugging her as tightly as you could.

“Thank you, Nini.” You whispered.

“I know, I’m the best big sister ever.”

“By like five minutes.”

“Shut up and text him already!”

You laughed, unplugging your phone from its charger and opening Ricky’s contact.

Y/N

want to go hang out afterschool tomorrow?

Ricky

i thought you’d never ask

A/N - im not going to lie i got real carried away with this one . i also said i would update yesterday but i totally neglected my ap test oops . so hope u guys like this one and next update will be saturday !! love y’all xx

taglist - @love-joshy @mzzjads

#ricky bowen imagine #ricky bowen x reader #ricky bowen #ricky bowen blurbs #ricky bowen fluff #ricky bowen angst #ricky bowen oneshot #joshua bassett x reader #joshua bassett imagine #joshua bassett #joshua bassett oneshot #joshua bassett blurbs #joshua bassett fluff #joshua bassett angst #hsmtmts imagine #hsmtmts

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howtosingit · 3 years

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if ur ok with it can u break down the tarlos huggggg in the lst ep after tk tells evy1 abt his addiction? bc that gd huggggggg i wanna no every thing u think abt it i live for ur love for tarlos theyre just so so cuteeeee

IF I’M OKAY WITH IT?! Anon, I feel like I have been waiting my entire life for this ask. I could literally talk about this hug for the rest of my existence. I would talk about this hug every second of every day if I could and never get tired or bored. This hug has owned my entire heart from the moment that it happened and I can never get enough of it. Brace yourself for this essay, and remember that you asked for it...

Okay, so before I get to the actual hug, I want to talk for a minute about why I love it so much and also how fantastic the scene is that comes before it. I’ll try to keep both of those brief (LOL). If you want to skip to the hug breakdown, I’ll give the sections titles.

Why I Love This Hug

So, why do I love this hug so much? Honestly, because I never in a million years thought we’d get something like it, and it was a big turning point for me.

I have not been quiet about how disappointing I think season 1 was. Too much Owen being Owen, too much Iris plot (which never interested me for even a single moment, unfortunately), not enough of the other characters - specifically the characters of color - and definitely not enough Tarlos.

Following episode 3, the show established a really frustrating pattern with Tarlos: they either never interacted with one another, or there was a moment of them at the end of an episode where they were in the same place physically but never spoke directly to one another. Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe the Tarlos talking drought between episodes 3 and 10 - and honestly? It’s bad writing. To focus on a ship for 3 episodes, giving them a lot of different nuances and conflict, and then do absolutely nothing with it? Stupid. So, going into the finale, my expectations were low. At that point, I was literally tuning in just to catch a glimpse of Carlos, with the expectation that that was all I would get. I really didn’t think I was going to watch the show after season 1.

When the finale started with a Tarlos scene, I was honestly very surprised. But, then, of course, it was a “break up” scene, and I was like... well. So much for that. See, I fully expected, based on the trend throughout the later half of the season, that that would be the only Tarlos scene we would get, and that that is how they would end season 1.

But when that camera cut to Carlos Reyes walking through the station door looking like a modern-day motherf*cking Prince Charming? I cried. I’m not ashamed to admit that. And then WHEN WE GOT THE HUG?! I can honestly still feel my heart pounding in my chest.

The finale didn’t fix everything for me; they still barely talk in their final two scenes. It’s not all perfect. But this hug, this small moment? THAT. IS. PERFECTION. (And I’m gonna go on and on about why in just a minute!)

Framing the Hug

I just want to take another moment here to chat about the entire fire station scene with TK and the team/Carlos because there’s a lot that informs why this hug is so freaking incredible. It has everything to do with the directing choices that were made - and boy were they good ones!

We all probably remember how the scene starts: extreme close-ups on TK as he sits waiting for the crew to come back. He’s anxious and possibly having a mild panic attack, and the camera is used to create that moment. Certain shots are out of focus, the shots that are focused are zoomed in to his mouth/hands/eyes, the sound is distorted, his breathing is isolated. It’s all super effective.

So the observations that I make about this brief moment are: TK is stationary, the camera is basically attacking him. And TK is alone. Pretend for a moment that the camera is a character. The camera won’t leave him alone. No one is there to help him. His anxiety grows.

(Even when the team joins him, the camera stays pretty close to him, except for one moment where it backs off but then approaches again. It continues to invade his personal space and his personal moments with his friends and his dad.)

Now, compare that to how the scene ends: TK walks away from the camera, the camera doesn’t follow him. It gives him space. His interaction with Carlos happens in the distance. If the camera is a character, TK defeated that character. He leaves it there, it no longer threatens him. I just really like that visual storytelling; that through the 4 minute scene, TK not only faces his demons, speaks his truth, and conquers his anxiety but he beats the camera and goes off to hug Carlos untethered. (He even bounces towards him, but we’ll get to that in a minute.) That doesn’t really have anything to do with the hug specifically, but I thought it was interesting anyway.

The other comparison that I want to make is a simple one, but it’s another reason why I love the hug: TK initiates it. He doesn’t initiate the group hug with his team (he actually almost says “we don’t have to do that” when Mateo moves towards him), though he obviously enjoys it. Owen initiates their hug, flinging himself at his son, and TK obviously appreciates it.

But the Carlos hug? TK approaches him, TK raises his arm to wrap around Carlos’s neck.

Okay, now to finally answer the original ask...

LET’S HUG IT OUT: THE BREAKDOWN THAT WAS ASKED FOR

youtube

First, can I just say from his first appearance to the end of this scene, Carlos is there for 20 seconds total and I am about to write a whole-ass essay about those 20 seconds?! I’m literal trash.

Okay, so Carlos appears looking like a fucking snack. He’s changed since the bus accident, looking like someone’s hot date, and I think we know whose... Owen is basically like “well this is unexpected” and honestly, same sir. TK is adorable and noncommittal, but clearly not surprised to see Carlos there. We’ve missed a moment between them since TK was sent to the hospital and Carlos called him impressive, that’s for sure.

So when TK starts to walk towards him, the camera refocuses on Carlos and we see this adorable freaking look on his face that clearly says “how did it go?” or “all went well?” or something to that effect. I think Carlos knew what TK was doing at the station and he knew that it was a big deal for him, and I love that even before they are next to each other, he’s checking in to see how it went. He’s invested in TK’s well-being - as always - and he’s there to support him, both physically and emotionally. I COULD SCREAM.

In response to Carlos’s silent questioning, TK throws his head back and sighs. Like I said before, he seems to bounce towards Carlos, his body is pretty loose - his arms are swinging back and forth. This is a guy who just took a load off, and he’s relieved about having done so. The smile that Carlos gives him in answer says that he’s relieved too - that it went so well, that TK seems lighter. He might even be relieved that TK is being so much more open with him, clearly showing him his emotions. Their body language for this entire moment is very open, neither of them seem closed off. It truly does feel like, for the first time, they are meeting each other on equal footing, with all of their cards on the table before them. It’s such a different moment for them, certainly different than their body language during the boba date earlier in the episode.

I would be an absolute idiot if I did not pause and remark here how INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IT IS that TK is the one that approaches Carlos. I’m not the first person to notice and say this, but Carlos “I hate being the one doing the chasing” Reyes stops just inside the door. He lets TK walk towards him. It’s such an interesting, nonverbal conversation between them. In this action, Carlos is saying “I’m here, but I’m still not going to force anything. You said you wanted space, so I’m giving it to you.” Sure, he comes to the station - but I would pay good money to bet that TK invited him there following some kind of conversation about what he was doing there - but he stays at the door. He’s cautious, but open. He wants something more with TK, but he’s not going to throw himself into it just to get hurt again. So, he waits. AND TK COMES TO HIM. TK leaves his own space and enters his. TK takes the final step. TK closes the gap. TK makes the big move, and they’re finally both right in front of each other, on the same wavelength. The find that solid ground from which they’ll build their relationship together. ISN’T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?!

Seriously, kudos to Bradley Buecker for directing this episode with multiple levels of storytelling at play. It’s really great stuff.

OKAY, there’s a little Owen and Michelle moment, but then the camera finds Tarlos again.

TK is standing in front of Carlos, they’re completely fixated on one another, their body language is just so fucking casual and comfortable I cannot stand it. See, the other hugs were all pretty intense: the team piles on top of TK, burying him, and Owen practically throws himself at TK, it’s a fairly hard hug for a man with an injured shoulder. But this hug? NOPE.

It’s so soft. It’s so gentle. TK raises his arm like he just can’t not wrap it around Carlos’s neck, like it’s the only way to be as close as possible to him and being as close as possible to him is all he wants in that moment.

What I really love about this hug is that it feels like two people who hug not because the moment is demanding it, not because they’re reuniting after a long time apart, not because they’re in a heightened state of emotion.

These two hug like it’s just what they do, what they always want to be doing, like they don’t know how not to do it. The whole thing reads like “Hi, I’m TK and my arms belong around Carlos” and “Hi, I’m Carlos, and my arms belong around TK, what else would I be doing with them?” (It’s also the vibe I get from the club scene where they wrap their arms around each other.)

IT’S INTIMACY, Y’ALL.

Look, to be a Tarlos fan, I think you have to be willing to look at the relationship on two different levels, right? One is what they verbalize to each other, which is admittedly very little (season 2, come through). The other is the story that they tell through their body language. These two have seemingly always been on the same page physically. It just comes naturally to them, from the minute they first dance to their obviously very pleasing sex scene to the way they flirt in the bar to the club to Carlos at TK’s bedside.

Their chemistry is made clear through how they physically relate to each other, and never is that more clear than in this hug that LITERALLY LASTS 2 SECONDS BUT CONTAINS MULTITUDES.

Okay, back to it... so TK strolls towards Carlos, Carlos waits for him - they symbolism is making me scream - TK raises his arm, it’s all super casual...

And then he just kind of literally falls into Carlos’s body, and Carlos basically just catches him. HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT.

They don’t even speak but because they’ve had a nonverbal conversation with just those looks that I talked about, there’s just this understanding that TK needs to just collapse a little bit and he never for one second doubts that Carlos will hold him up. THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY DO.

OKAY OKAY OKAY now we’re going to break this down from head to toe.

Like, the way that their heads just rest against each other, TK pressing close - I can almost imagine that he breathes in the scent of Carlos’s shampoo, his nose is pressed right there in his curls. AND JUST IMAGINE HIS SMILE, I BET IT’S BLINDING.

I love that their heads kind of curve around each other kind of, perfectly Yin and Yang - like, from above they would totally look like that symbol.

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE ENTIRE THING: CARLOS FREAKING REYES NUZZLING INTO TYLER KENNEDY STRAND’S NECK, LIKE HE JUST SHOVES HIS FACE RIGHT IN THERE

THE NECK KISS MADE ME SCREAM SO FUCKING LOUD THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I COULD NOT HANDLE IT

First, it’s our first kiss since episode 2.

Second, THE INTIMACY OF PRESSING A KISS TO SOMEONE’S NECK - LIKE THAT IS SUCH A SOFT PART OF YOUR BODY, THERE ARE TENDONS THERE, YOU CAN FEEL SOMEONE’S PULSE THERE - LIKE OH MY GOD

Nothing screams “I want to know every part of this man on a deep, committed level” than a fucking neck kiss, and Carlos Reyes just... he fucking does it.

Okay but he really does bury his whole face in there like he wants to keep it there forever, I have truly never seen something so soft in my entire life.

I’m so in love with them I could puke.

But like, that’s why this moment means so much to me, because I really do think that it’s a solidifying moment for both of them.

For TK, it’s a “It’s okay if I stumble or fall because this man will catch me or help me up” thing

For Carlos, it’s “he wants me, he wants this, he’s taking literal steps towards this thing between us, and he encourages me to sink into him, he wants me to do that, he really wants this”

Like, fuck.

Moving down... we gotta appreciate Carlos being mindful of TK’s shoulder, unlike literally everyone else who has hugged him. Like, he doesn’t even go anywhere near those stitches because there’s no fucking way he’s going to watch TK bleed out for the third time, nope.

And the way that Carlos just slides his arms around TK’s waist, pressing his palms into his lower back?!

I think there’s a whole like, thing, where when a person’s hands are flat and open they’re like, open and vulnerable. So there’s just something about the way that Carlos presses both of his open palms against TK’s back that feels so open and vulnerable and honest to me.

Also, the way that he literally covers as much of TK’s back with his hands as possible? He doesn’t place his hands on top of one another, he stacks them along TK’s spine - he completely covers the entirety of his lower back. That’s a really vulnerable part of the human body, and Carlos instinctively protects it. AND TK LET’S HIM.

Okay, finally, down to their feet: TK really does collapse against Carlos, throwing himself on top of him and trusting that Carlos will keep him upright. All of his weight shifts to that forward momentum, he even goes up on the toes of his right foot. Carlos plants his feet, and as TK sways into him, he wraps him in his arms and gently centers them so that they don’t tip over to the ground.

He literally re-balances them. The two of them together find a balance with one another during this TWO-SECOND HUG. They shift, they steady themselves, they sink into one another.

It’s literally symbolic of them both being completely, 100%, without question, ready for the next phase of their relationship together.

They keep each other standing, and that’s fucking true love, y’all.

I honestly cannot wait for season 2. This hug and the final scene on the hood of Carlos’s car - with TK again making the move to embrace their relationship by physically reaching into Carlos’s space for his hand and dragging it into his own space, firmly opening the door to his heart to let him inside, while also settling Carlos’s hand between his own to let him know that he’s willing to protect him and his heart too - makes me believe that we are in for some truly wonderful romance with these boys.

My heart will not stop screaming about it.

#anonymous #asks #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes #911 lone star #that finale hug is the very definition of love #and I have a lot of feelings about it #thank you so much for sending this ask #I loved getting to rewatch this 3-second hug about a billion times to overanalyze it #best night I've had in a long time #holy shit this is almost 3K... for a 3-second hug... I’m literally trash #brian breakdowns #brian being tarlos trash

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youcanreadit · 4 years

Text

AT LAST- NARUTO X READER (MODERN AU)

I hope you enjoy this UwU

"Btw Naruto did you hear? The new student will be joining our school today."

Naruto simply nodded and continued to stuff ramen into his mouth. Shikamaru shrugged and went back to finish his own meal. Of course, nothing can make him happier than his ramen.

Later that day, you accidentally bumped right into him on the way to your class. He was opening his mouth about to apologize profusely but the words died down on his lips. A surge of inexplicable emotion surged within him, rendering him speechless. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, apart from his mother.

But he couldn't seem to recognize you. That's when it clicked. She is the new student that Shikamaru was talking about at lunch!

While he gazed at your face like an idiot with an obvious blush on his cheeks, you muttered a quick apology and hurried off, leaving him standing there staring at you, awed.

After the day he met you, he was more cheerful and giddy than he usually was. Ever since he lost his parents, he had felt like he lost a part of himself. It was as if you pulled him out of the darkness and brought him back to his old self.

He would always arrive at school earlier- astonishing all his friends and teachers- so that he could see you more.

He was always watching you when you were not looking. He liked that farway look in your eyes, the shyness that radiated from you, the warm smile playing on your lips.

It felt like adrenaline was injected directly into his veins when you both locked eyes. Your voice, your face, your smile were all his brain would dwell on.

At first, he repeatedly tried to deny his feelings for you.

"I am not in love with her! I like Sakura! I like Sakura!!"

And then he would see you enter the class, your cheeks tinted pink and offering him a smile as you pass by. "Man I am so in love with her.."

He finally decided to take Jiraiya's help. Which was of course a bad idea.

*after hearing the whole thing* "I understand.. It's the L word Naruto"

"W-what?"

"Lust"

Seeing him struggle with his emotions, Sasuke was the one who made him realize he was in love with you.

" Hey dobe, I think Y/n likes Kiba."

"WHATTTT!!!WHO TOLD YOU?"

"But you said you love Sakura, so why are you worried?"

"NO I DON'T!!I LOVE Y/N!!" *silence* (thanks Sasuke)

He would always notice if you didn't have the usual sparkle in your eyes. Whenever that happened, he made sure to put cute little notes in your locker and notebooks. He would hide somewhere and watch you read them, and smile like an idiot seeing your face light up at the cheesy lines he had written in his messy handwriting.

As for Valentine's day, he would spend hours in the kitchen making chocolate for you. Then along with Sasuke, he would arrive at school like an hour earlier to get rid of all the piles of gifts in your locker( he sure is competitive)

"Yeah! Mine would be the best chocolate she has ever tasted!!!" Sasuke simply face palms.

Little did he know that he had accidentally added salt instead of sugar. Yikes. Cooking ain't your thing Naruto

At first he was worried that you would go after Sasuke like all the other girls. It was a pleasant surprise when he found out you weren't a fan girl.*breathes out in relief*

Just in case, he decided to warn Sasuke. " you keep your bunch of fangirls, but remember, Y/n is OFF LIMITS" "whatever dobe"

He stopped at nothing to impress you. He pushed himself to get better at studies. Over time, his grades improved.

When he didn't understand a concept he would rush to you with his books. He was glad that you weren't impatient like the others, but explained to him in simple ways you could.

A total sweetheart he is, it was impossible to hate him. But he could be annoying at times too.

Like when he doesn't see you for too long, he would be a whining, blubbering mess.

"Sakura, I want to se-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NARUTO SHUT UPPPP! I HAVE BEEN READING THE SAME SENTENCE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES!"

"BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN TWO DAYS!!

Sasuke: *changes seat*

Not to mention that he is really protective over you. If anybody tries to hurt you, well let's say that would be the end for that person. "Fight me!!"

Naruto was known to be the loud, hyperactive, sunshine of the school. But he immediately transforms into a timid puppy when you are near him.

Like Naruto would be talking and laughing with his friends and then he turns around and sees you -

*you lean closer to his face* I need to ask you ab-Naruto?

*Naruto has stopped functioning*

It wasn't hard for his friends to figure out the reason behind his strange behaviour lately.

They teased him about how oblivious you were to his feelings and if he didn't hurry up, someone would steal you from him.

But he didn't want to rush. Some people are worth waiting for. And of course he was worried if someone like you would go for a person like him. Please tell the poor guy otherwise.

Many boys came forward seeking to be your boyfriend, but you turned them down politely. That left Naruto with a bittersweet hope. It could or couldn't be him. But he won't give up on you like that. His life motto itself was- Never give up,no matter what!

In the brief occasions that you spoke to him would be the best part of his day. The whole world would blur and he could see only you, and hear your velvet like voice.

You were the only one who laughed at his stupid jokes. Oh how much he loved that smile you gave him, he would later replay it over and over in his head.

He would imagine taking you to his favourite restaurant, Ichiraku as a date. From his stories about you, Teuchi and Ayame couldn't wait to meet you.

When you touched him casually, his whole body would light up with a warmth that only you could ignite. That made him wonder how it would feel like to run his fingers through your silky hair, kiss your soft lips and then his whole face would turn as red as a tomato.

On his weekly visits to his parent's grave, he eagerly tells them about the beautiful girl that he recently met. He would tearfully tell them about finally meeting a girl as fascinating as his mother.

As the years passed his feelings never dulled. He fell for you more, your smile, your alluring eyes, your easy going personality and everything else about you.

However, he started to worry when the graduation was getting closer. He couldn't bear to lose you.

The thought caused him such pain that he lay awake for nights, and then finally deciding that it was the right time to let you know of his feelings.

After the graduation ceremony, Sasuke held a party at his house for the new graduates. As much as Naruto enjoyed spending time with his friends, his eyes kept darting across the room from time to time, in hopes of seeing you.

When he finally spotted you amidst the chaos and the tightly packed people,his heart skipped a beat. You looked so beautiful in that blue dress you wore, the coloured lights dancing across your skin adding to the effect.

With his eyes on you, he excused himself from his group of friends and all but hurried over to you, ignoring the laughter and cheers that erupted from behind him.

After saying that he needed to speak something important with you,he dragged you through the mass of people- keeping a firm grip on your wrist to prevent you from getting lost in the crowd- to the backyard.

He finally dropped your wrist when you both reached a secluded spot near a cluster of trees. The loud music and noises from the house was now a distant, faint hum to your ears.

He took a step back and stood facing you. It was hard to believe how tall he had become over the past few years. You had to tilt your head back to look at him in the eyes.

"I am sorry I had to drag you away so abruptly." He hoped that you wouldn't notice the faint quiver in his voice. He clenched and unclenched his hands.

You laughed quietly and waved off his queries " It's alright Naruto. I was planning to get away from all that noise anyway" you grinned at him, flashing your teeth. "In fact, you helped me."

Naruto tried his best to smile back hoping you wouldn't notice anything amiss. But when your smile slowly melted away from your lips,he understood that he didn't fool you.

He was looking at you warily, like he was anticipating something bad would happened. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were full of worry and hope and some intense emotion that you couldn't quite pinpoint.

"What's wrong Naruto?" You asked quietly. You raised a hand as if to touch his arm, but then let it drop. "You can tell me"

He ran his trembling fingers through his spiky blond hair-which looked almost silvery in the moonlight-and nervously glanced at you with his blue eyes.

While you stared back at him in confusion, he was having a mental argument with himself.

I can do this! She is waiting for you to say something Naruto!do it!!

"I..." He faltered. He looked at the ground and then up again, at you.

Here it goes..

" Are you dating Kiba?" There was brief pause.

You looked utterly baffled "HUH??!"

Damn what the hell is wrong with me?! He awkwardly shifted his weight from one leg to the other, looking bashful " I mean- you both hang out with each other a lot.."

You laughed " He is a good friend of mine, that's all"

"So you both-"

"Nope" You sounded amused, but not at all annoyed, despite the fact that he basically dragged you away to ask you such stupid questions.

"Okay" he said with fake cheerfulness, turning his back to you. "Thanks for the information, I better get back"

You caught his sleeve, making him go still. He turned to look at you, eyes still wide and cheeks tinted red, but they slowly melted away when he saw you gazing back at him almost sadly.

"Naruto" you said his name so softly that his stomach fluttered in response " that's not what you were meaning to say. We both know that."

He blinked.

You were right. What was he doing?!

It felt as if your voice had brought him back to his senses.

He remembered Jiraiya's advice from the morning. It felt as if the old man sensed what Naruto was planning to do. Instead of giving his usual pervy tips, he had said : "Letting her know of your feelings is the way to get to her heart. If you want to know if she returns your love, tell her."

Determination and hope flared in his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped closer until you could feel the heat radiating from him. You swallowed and felt your cheeks getting warm.

He reached out and took both your hands gingerly in his and stared intently at you.

" Y/n I love you..I always have..."

He watched your eyes widen and lips part with surprise. He continued before you could say anything.

"I know you probably consider me to be foolish and naive, but I mean it when I say that I love you more than I could love myself. I wish I could explain to you how wonderful you are, how beautiful your eyes or how your voice gives me butterflies every single time. I love who I am with you. I.." He swallowed visibly, but his gaze on you never wavered. " I don't know how to explain love..But when I see you, I imagine the two of us cooking together, fighting together..being together. And I can't imagine anything that would make me happier. I would like to do these things with you. That is'' he smiled shyly, his cheeks turning pink " if you feel the same."

Your vision blurred as you felt tears brimming your eyes. "Naruto ..."

Naruto's smile vanished quickly. Did he upset you?! Oh crap.

He immediately let go of your hands and started to panic. He raked through his brain,thinking back over the words he had just used on you, trying desperately to find where he went wrong. He had never been in a position before where he had to comfort a crying girl. Once he had borrowed Sai's book on human behavior. If only he could remember..

"Y/n I am sorry-"

He stopped abrubtly when he felt your finger on his lips, signaling him to stop. You slowly withdrew them to place your hands on either side of his cheeks, thumb tracing the whisker like markings on his cheeks lightly. His eyes widened.

"Naruto..that was beautiful.." You said wonderingly, as if you had just woken up from a dream. "No one has ever said such lovely things to me." For a long moment you stared into his eyes,those lovely blue eyes that has always reminded you of the blue waves crashing against the shore- a feeling of peace and warmth and comfort. You could feel yourself getting lost in them. Naruto was still dazed. It was as if the roles were suddenly reversed. He was staring at you open mouthed while you smiled back at him adoringly.

"You are such an idiot Naruto" you teased, but the affection in your voice took the sting out of it "my idiot"

Your fingers were still stroking his cheeks, making it difficult for him to concentrate. He swallowed "W-what?"

A giggle escaped your lips "you cannot seriously think that I didn't notice your feelings all these years" your smile spoke of mischief now "and it was not one sided. Why did you wait for so long to come to me?"

Naruto was shell shocked. His heart was pounding so loudly that he thought that it would jump out. Is this a dream?

You finally stopped laughing and gazed at his blue orbs seriously. "Naruto" you said " I have struggled to make friends all throughout my life. When my parents decided to move to Konoha I was absolutely against it. Starting a new life.." You shook your head slowly " I didn't want that. But then you came along, my personal sun. With your bright smile and cheerful personality..who always tried to cheer me up. Who was always by my side..Slowly I felt myself taking a liking to this place.. And I felt myself falling for you.."

You heard his sharp intake of breath and smiled again "Naruto, I can't find the right words to explain how much you mean to me, but I would like to spend the rest of my life with you showing them. "

He felt tears sting the back of his eyes. He wanted to laugh, cry, curse himself for having waited for so long. He was almost mad with joy. But when he looked at you, he knew that you could see the emotion plainly written on his face. Because love required no language.

His lips curled up into a smile that lit up his whole face. You had seen him smile before, plenty of times, and yet this was different from the others. This smile was the most beautiful one you had ever seen, one that spoke of love and happiness and gratitude, a gesture that was too deep to be explained in words.

The uncertainty in his eyes were long gone, replaced with hope and love. He cupped your face in his large hands so gingerly that you shivered sightly.

"It feels like a dream" he said huskily, brushing a strand of hair from your face "being here with you like this."

"Then let me prove it tlo you that it's not"

You pulled him down by the collar of his shirt until your foreheads almost touched. Leaning in, you kissed both his cheeks, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, over and over again. Your other hand was pressed on his chest allowing you to feel his rapid heartbeat.

When your gaze finally fell on his lips, resting on them for a second, made Naruto impatient. He craved for your touch,the warmth that you provided. He had waited to do this for so long, he couldn't bear to waste any second longer.

So he leaned in closer and his lips finally met yours, moving gently against your own.

Warmth and desire exploded within him, and the world slowly disappeared from around the two of you. It was slow and soft and perfectly natural, like breathing and yet so intimate.

His calloused hands were gentle as they caressed your cheeks, his warm breath mingling with yours. His hands went to the nape of your neck and drew you even closer, thus deepening the kiss. Sparks flew within you, and you wrapped your hands around his shoulder in response , to eliminate the space between the two of you as much as possible.

He loved the way your lips fit with his like puzzle pieces, moving in perfect sync with his. His lips tasted like ramen, making you smile into the kiss.

When you both finally broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours, his warm breath hitting your cheeks. He was breathing hard like you, but his whole face was lit with joy, a smile so beautiful playing on his lips that you couldn't help but return it.

Your slender hands went around his waist, cheek resting against his sculpted chest, and listened to his hammering heart. Physically, he had changed a lot since the first time you met him. The childish roundness was long gone from his face. You could feel the solid hard muscle as you held him,the sharpness of his cheekbones,the callousness of his hands. And yet he was still the same. The same luminous blue eyes that sparkled even in the darkness,the same exuberant personality and that infectious smile.

For a while you both stood in each other's embrace, basked in the silvery moonlight with a wide grin plastered on both your faces.

"Thank you Naruto " and in those syllables he heard everything. He closed his eyes in content and hummed in response.

This was the love he'd waited for, hoped for. And now finally, he was home.

At last.

Mom, dad are you watching?

#naruto x reader #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto headcanons #naruto x you #naruto scenarios #naruto uzumaki

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itmighthavebeenintentional · 4 years

Text

Walk Me Home - Ch 10

Summary: Twenty-four years ago, Kimberly Harper met a boy who changed the course of her entire life before up and leaving one night. She spent years moving past the memories, building a stable, satisfying career as professor of folklore and mythology at the local university. Then the accidents start, and she’s forced to seek help among her hunter contacts. All it takes is a knock on her office door to send Kimber’s carefully built emotional walls crumbling to the ground.

Featuring: Teen Winchesters, high school romance, reunions, misunderstandings, high intensity emotional turmoil, Dean’s love of pie, Dean being adorable, Sam being adorable and maybe a bit nosy eventually, much group adorkable-ness, show-style investigation, mention of our favorite werewolf, gratuitous and obvious love of fall, DID I MENTION ROMANCE, fluff, smut, tension.

Warnings: Show level violence, show level parental neglect (let’s not John bash, I’m just saying), show-style witchcraft, show-level mental manipulation, stalking, bit of angst, sexual content (higher than show level),swearing, general yearning

Word Count: 1856

Author’s Note: Had some extra time today, so I figured I’d go ahead and post. We’ve reached the end, folks. Thank you to everyone for reading, reblogging, liking, and especially all the lovely comments. A million thanks to @mskathywriteswords , @fangirlxwritesx67 , and @cracksinthewalls for helping my story shine. @thoughtslikeaminefield , thank you for the lovely image for the story. I hope everyone enjoyed it all as much as I do.

Keep in Mind: There are a lot of flashbacks. I tried to write current events in present tense and flashbacks in past tense. Here’s hoping I got everything right!

Please read/heed the warnings. 18+ ONLY.

In Case You Missed It: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Chapter 10

“Sam looks really irritated,” Kimber whispers to Dean. The younger Winchester brother has just excused himself to the restroom, but the diner is pretty quiet, and she doesn’t want to risk Sam overhearing.

“Well, yeah,” Dean says, raising his coffee to take a deep, life-affirming slurp. He doesn’t bother to lower his tone or modulate his pitch in the slightest, and Kimber shoots him an exasperated look. “I stuck him with clean-up duty last night so I could get lucky. Not to mention, our room was the only free one at the motel, remember, so he either slept there or in his car. He’s not irritated, he’s pissed as hell and probably a little jealous.”

“But you didn’t get lucky last night,” Kimber says.

“Went home with my high school sweetheart, got to see her unmentionables, and spent the whole night in bed with her after eating semi-homemade apple pie. I’d say I got pretty damned lucky.”

She sends an elbow his way, but he’s expecting it and leans back so she overshoots and lands across his lap. She splutters indignantly as she rights herself while he takes another calm drink of his coffee.

“Seriously, though, he’s not pissed at you. The first few months after we left, the kid wouldn’t shut up about you. He practically worshipped you: hot, nerdy as hell, the whole package. And,” he adds, his teasing expression mellowing to one of genuine appreciation, “you really helped him out with that AP stuff. He got into Stanford because of you.”

“Shut up,” she says, her face heating. “He got into Stanford? That was him, and you know it. I just gave him some resources he didn’t know about, that’s all.”

“And I was able to keep up with all my AP classes no matter where we moved, which was a huge deal to me,” Sam says as he slides into the booth across from them. “You guys talking about me behind my back?”

“Always,” Dean smirks. “So, what’d you find out?”

“Does the name ‘Jim Weeks’ mean anything to you, Kimber?”

She frowns, setting her fork down on the edge of her plate. “It does. I helped him out, god, what...eight, nine years ago? He hadn’t been hunting very long, maybe a year or two, and he was investigating some...Let me think, hang on.” She closes her eyes, mentally shifting through years of research, both hers and others’.

“Human sacrifices. There was a symbol carved into all the victims. I helped him find the source, the deity it stood for. It was one of my closed cases; that’s why I didn’t bring it up. He called me a few weeks later, said he’d taken care of everything.”

“Well, he was wrong,” Sam says, his face grave. “I found his journal in the witch’s car. Jim documented you helping him, what you found, where you worked, and then how the case wrapped up. You actually helped him take down en entire coven of witches, guess he didn’t mention that part. Then he went on hunting for another seven and a half years, but a few months ago, he started to write about feeling like someone was watching him, tailing him from case to case.”

Sam pauses, giving her a moment to take in this new information, then he continues.

“Said he was starting to have periods of time where he didn’t remember stuff, would wake up in the middle of the road, in the middle of the woods. He wrote about finding a doll in his car one morning; it, uh..looked like him. Throat was slit, red paint, all of it.”

Sam clears his throat, flexing his fingers on the table top as he watches her carefully. Dean’s hand closes over hers under the table, and she realizes her fingers are shaking.

“Go on,” she says. She doesn’t want to hear what’s coming next, she really already knows, but she needs to hear it.

“The entries in his journal stop after that. The cover was soaked in dried blood. So...yeah. I did some checking, and Jim died a few months back. The scene was...nasty.”

“So, who was our nutbag?” Dean asks. His tone is rough as he squeezes Kimber’s fingers.

“I looked into the county records where Jim took down the coven. I don’t think he did too much research into the actual witches themselves; the coven included a family, a mom and dad and a teenager. Jim thought he got the whole coven, but maybe the teenager wasn’t at that meeting? At any rate, the papers from around then talked about the murdered couple’s missing child, and then the kid just dropped out of mention.”

“Okay, Jim was sloppy, and the kid survived, and what...swore revenge? How’d he find Jim again?”

“I found these folded up in the front of the journal,” Sam says, smoothing a couple of newspaper articles out on the table. The edges are frayed and ragged, torn rather than cut. There are dark smears on both, smudges and stains from who knows what, and Kimber’s gorge rises higher the longer she stares down at them.

The first article dates back to the first investigation, showing a grainy photograph of police and federal officers milling around behind crime scene tape. Kimber points to a figure off to the side, suited and facing the camera almost straight on.

“That’s Jim,” she says, her voice quiet. He looks painfully young in the photograph, and her chest twinges. The caption labels him as “FBI Special Agent Gaiman.”

She looks at the second article, which is much more recent. She notices immediately that the location is the same, the premise almost identical. “Town’s Dark Past Resurfaces After Nearly a Decade” reads the headline. She looks for Jim’s face, spotting it in the crowd once more, despite him aging considerably in the years since she met him.

“He used the same name again,” Dean says, shaking his head. “I mean, he didn’t have much choice, since it was probably the same cops on the case, but still. Probably how the witch found him. Might’ve started up the sacrifices again just to draw Jim out. Anything else in the car, Sam?”

Sam shakes his head, his mouth working as if he’s got a bad taste in his mouth. “More or less standard witch paraphernalia, a couple more knives. I didn’t see anything indicating we have anyone else to watch out for.”

Dean purses his lips, then looks to Kimber. “You doin’ okay?”

Kimber takes the question seriously, doing a quick bit of mental introspection. “Yeah, I think...I mean...Okay, so I’m still queasy, but I don’t feel like someone’s breathing down my neck anymore. I’m going to be jumpy for a while, and I am definitely not going to stop going to my Thursday night classes anytime soon. But, yeah. If I’m not completely okay at the moment, I know I’m going to be.”

“That’s my girl.” Dean leans over, pressing a kiss to Kimber’s cheek. Sam looks away, but not before Kimber catches the embarrassed smile on his face. Dean slides from the booth, strolling casually over to the register and grinning at the elderly waitress, who blushes and giggles as she takes the check from him.

“Dad wouldn’t let him call you,” Sam says quietly. Kimber’s eyes flash to Sam, startled.

“When we left. Dean wanted to. He tried to, but Dad said he couldn’t. Said you were a distraction we couldn’t afford. He absolutely forbade it. They got in a fight, the worst one I ever saw between them when we were kids, and Dad...he...well, he, uh...He put his foot down. And later, after Dad died...I think Dean was ashamed. Maybe. I dunno, but I think he didn’t feel like he could call you after all that time, felt like he’d let you down.”

Sam glances over his shoulder, and they both watch Dean lean down to whisper conspiratorially with the blushing waitress as he hands her his credit card. Dean turns back to Kimber, winking, and her last little bit of heartache flakes off and fades away.

“Maybe don’t hold it against him too much?” Sam says, his best puppy-dog face in place. Kimber has never seen such an earnest expression from a guy asking on behalf of another man before.

“So, what do we have on the docket, Sam?” Dean asks as he rejoins them. Kimber throws her arms around his neck, ignoring the twinge twinge of pain on the side of her throat, and kisses him soundly. He looks startled but pleased as she pulls away, eyes wide and cheeks ruddy.

“What was that for? I’m just askin’ so I can do it again.”

She clears her throat against an unexpected lump. Behind Sam, the waitress at the register gives her a double thumbs up. “I was just jealous of the attention you were giving the wait staff. Figured you thought I wasn’t paying you enough attention.”

Sam coughs discreetly, his mouth twitching from the effort of smothering his smile. “I actually don’t have any cases for us. I was thinking about going back to the bunker and reorganizing some of those files I‘ve been going through. You know, I could really use your help, Dean. Our inventories could use some alphabetizing, and-”

“Hard pass,” Dean says, flashing his brother a quick, mirthless smile.

“If you’re looking for something to do,” Kimber offers, then hesitates when Dean turns his focus to her. “Well, I mean...fall break is next week. There’s a harvest festival in town; we have a crafts fair and a big farmers market and a lot of baking competitions. It’s pretty fun. If...if you wanted to stay a little while, Dean.”

...

In the end, Dean stays nearly two weeks. They go to every single day of the festival, during which time, they pick out a new quilt for her bed and Dean makes himself actually sick at the pie tasting event. When he does finally leave, it’s with a promise to visit soon, and their phone numbers saved in each of their cells.

“I will say, I’m not overly fond of watching this car drive off,” Kimber says, hugging herself through the inadequate material of her sweater. The weather has turned genuinely cold, and she wishes she’d grabbed something heavier, but she hadn’t planned on staying outside for so long.

For some reason, though, she just can’t let go of him long enough for him to get into the car.

Dean rubs his hands briskly up and down her arms, his eyes sad and fond as they roam over her face. Before she can stop him, he pulls off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders and kissing her forehead.

“You look damned cute in my jacket,” he says gruffly. “One more for the road?”

And if her lips are still swollen and throbbing when he puts the car into gear and pulls away from the curb, if his hair looks like he came straight from bed, neither of them minds in the least.

…

The end.

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rebelscum-2187 · 4 years

Text

So after nearly 22 years of life on this planet, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am high functioning autistic. I believe I fell through the cracks of an early diagnosis for the following reasons:

1.) I am Female (I learned how to mask myself very early on)

2.) I have a gifted IQ (above 130) and was classified as such in 4th grade so no one considered that I could be both ASD and intellectually gifted.

I am in the beginning stages of unmasking and am currently seeking an official diagnosis. Right now, I’m trying to write down everything I know about my neurodivergent experience so here’s a list of things I’ve experienced and believe to be relevant. If you can relate or you understand please comment and share! I’m new to this community and it feels so good to finally meet people who understand and can relate. Ok, Here we go.

“So the general population doesn’t memorize scripts to movies or watch the same one every day for a year?”

“People think it’s weird that I prefer to have subtitles on when I watch stuff, even though I don’t have damaged hearing”

“I watch movies with subtitles because I won’t understand what’s said if I don’t read it. I have no hearing issues.”

“I cannot hear/understand someone if I have one ear bud in and one out. Too much sensory input at once.”

“I thought I had a hearing deficit because I literally could not understand people at church or parties or other places with a lot of background noise, and I was so confused when they told me my hearing was normal.”

“I love star wars. Not just love but I could tell you what planet each character is from and what kind of ship they use, what model droid that one is and I will gladly talk about it all day if you let me. Everyone now gets me Star Wars stuff for my birthday and holidays”

“Eye contact is so uncomfortable for me that sometimes it ‘burns’ to maintain it, but then I overcompensate and stare too intensely. Over the years, being female, I’ve forced myself to make eye contact for a certain number of seconds and then look away a certain number of seconds but I’m concentrating so hard on that, that I don’t remember anything that was said to me.”

“Giving me verbal directions is a special kind of hell. I need it written down.”

“I can memorize pictures of things and exactly where every kid sat in my 10th grade US history class as well as my 9th grade geometry class.”

“I never fit in anywhere, in my childhood, most of my adolescence, except the swim team and my new church.”

“Team sports are the worst. I can’t communicate fast enough, I’m bad with hand eye coordination and keeping track of a ball. I excelled in individual sports and fell in love with swimming.”

“I often found it much easier to make friends with older kids because I could have intelligent conversations with them and their good social skills could make up for my lack of social skills.”

“But, I had a few friends that were considerably younger who I could still play imaginatively with dolls when I was 13 and one particular friend was 9. I had a lot of trouble getting a long with her sister who was the same age as me.”

“It physically pains me to hear someone mispronounce a word, spell something wrong, or make a grammatical mistake. I corrected my cousin A LOT when we were kids, she frequently got mad and I couldn’t understand why. My grandma would tell me to stop because correcting people is rude.”

“One of my special interests as a kid was dolphins. I was 5-6 years old and I remember being so excited when my mom let me check out like 10 books from the library and I read them quickly and multiple times.”

“I corrected a teacher one time about dolphins. She said dolphins weren’t whales and I knew FOR A FACT that ‘dolphins were a type of small whale’ because I read it in one of my books. She laughed at me and so did the rest of the class and I felt stupid even though I was right. This led to me suppressing my knowledge and real self and ultimately more masking.”

“As per that last one, my memory is impeccable.”

“I had another special interest in dogs when I got a bit older. My mom bought me a book with every kind of breed of dog, where they came from, their temperament, their size, everything. I can still, to this day, tell you the breed of dog just by looking at it.”

“I always wanted a best friend but never had one. I had groups of friends but never someone who would call me their best friend. When I got a boyfriend in high school, I was so excited because he called me his best friend and he was mine and I finally had that feeling reciprocated. He also had a gifted IQ and dyslexia, ADHD and a few other things so we understood each other quite well.”

“I can’t tell if someone is flirting with me because I can’t read between the lines. I also don’t know how to flirt because if I like a guy too much I get soooo nervous and I stumble over my words and it’s a disaster.”

“When I liked this guy (last year, 2019) I would freeze up so bad when I talked to him that I rehearsed every conversation I wanted to have with him so I wouldn’t mess it up. I would write topics in the notes section of my phone before hanging out with him so I’d remember what to ask him. It made for very awkward and forced conversations and probably drove him away.”

“Sarcasm and jokes almost always go over my head. The boyfriend I had in high school was very funny and outgoing but used a lot of sarcasm and it always caused disagreements because I took him seriously when he was being sarcastic.”

“I talk slowly and very monotone.”

“I have no difficulty reading in my head and can read/comprehend it well, but reading aloud is difficult and I often stumble over words and mess up.”

“I need directions repeated multiple times before I understand.”

“I went to the beach to hang out with some church friends yesterday. They all play spike ball and are so confused as to why I sit there and don’t play. I’ve tried playing spike ball but it involves way too much hand eye coordination and I’m so bad at it that it’s embarrassing. So I don’t play.”

“That same night, a group of them said ‘let’s play uno!’ And I was so happy to play something familiar that didn’t involve a lot of coordination. Then they said ‘we’re playing SPICY uno, right?’ And immediately my heart sank because I knew they were playing a different way that I wasn’t familiar with. Again, receiving verbal directions was hell and I didn’t understand it. I was so bad at it and wasn’t getting it, and in the middle of the game I had the urge to cry. I wanted to cry because I couldn’t even get this right. I suppressed the urge, of course, so they wouldn’t think I was even more weird than the already suspected. Another group of people that I wouldn’t fit in with.”

“Making friends has always been so difficult. Once I make a good friend I hang on to them for as long as possible even if they’re not very nice because I’m scared I’ll have to make a new one if I lose them. And we all know how hard making new friends is for me.”

“I’m a perfectionist. Especially with my art projects. When I took a painting class I realized I do it the wrong way. You’re supposed to paint layer by layer over the entire canvas and focus on small details at the very end. I work on one small area at a time and do small details too soon. I often spend way too much time on small details before I realize that the larger shape of the object isn’t proportionate and then it’s too late.”

“I won’t even attempt tasks if I know I can’t do them perfectly.”

“I have perfect pitch. I don’t know if that has anything to do with autism or that I just started music lessons when I was young. I can tune instruments perfectly without a tuner or reference note and I never understood why my orchestra teacher had me play the A key on the piano over and over again while she walked around and tuned everyone’s instruments when I could do it without any reference. I can hear it in my head.”

“When my parents got me a keyboard at age 7-8, they were impressed because I could sit down, without listening to any song and find the notes of a song I liked by ear. I still do that today but my piano is very out of tune and it bothers me.”

“Autistic boys tend to isolate and not care about concealing their stims or weird behavior but girls don’t. I am a ‘loner’ and always have been but I want so badly to belong and have friends and socialize, but I’ve always been so bad at it that I strike out every time. I often drink at social gatherings because it helps me loosen up and talk more freely. I guess it helps me lose the mask for a while.”

“I HATE people touching me. I’ve always hated it and still hate it to this day unless it’s someone I’m super comfortable with. I’ve been told I have the ‘dead fish hand shake’ and I’m an awkward hugger. My friend picked me up from behind and carried me for a few seconds because we were all goofing off and having fun but afterwards I was so mad at him I got really quiet and didn’t talk for a while. I told him later on the ride home that if he did that again I would slap him. “

“Everyone thinks it’s weird that I don’t like touching people, and some of my friends who also don’t like touching people were abused and I always thought, ‘there had to be a reason, maybe I was abused as a kid and repressed it.’ It’s been so long and I’ve finally realized that maybe it’s just because I have Aspergers or ASD. “

“When I make sarcastic remarks or jokes I often have to clarify because I say them in such a monotone way that people think I’m serious.”

“I’ve always joked that I’m just really clumsy and uncoordinated, and chalked it up to being tall and lanky. That’s why swimming was the perfect sport for me. Little to no risk of injury and not much hand eye coordination needed to be good at it. Just hours of practice, technique and endurance.”

“I also injure myself quite a lot because I’m ‘a klutz.’”

“Stims: I scratch my head and then smell my fingers and I will do this for hours if I am able (I know that one is weird so I only do it at home) popping my knuckles a ridiculous amount of times when I feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do with my hands. I twirl my hair constantly (that one is pretty socially acceptable so I do it in class nonstop). I tap my foot or bounce my leg, I make weird facial expressions and forget to hide those. People notice but they often think it’s funny because I’ll make a face if someone says something dumb and make an expression that people seem to relate to. I scrunch my nose if I’m uncomfortable or just whenever.”

Special interests: Star Wars, Disney (I know every word to every Disney song and I watch animated Disney movies over and over again, like literally every night) dolphins, the ocean, dogs, theology/the Bible.

“With my art work, and other things, I will get so focused on a painting that I will work non stop for 8-9 hours (all day basically) and not eat because I’m so focused that I forget to eat.”

“I think I slur my words a lot and sometimes my friends will laugh and be like ‘did you just say ____.?!?!’And I’ll clarify and they will continue laughing and say ‘oh it sounded like you said this.’ I hate when that happens.”

“Loud noises really bother me. I jump if I hear an unexpected loud noise and I hate people yelling, even if it’s not directed at me, it makes me want to cry. “

“I loved the color blue so much as a kid (I still do) but my entire wardrobe was basically different shades of blue t-shirts. I also only ever wore baggy t-shirts and baggy cargo shorts (I kinda dressed like a boy) because it was comfortable and I didn’t like getting comments if I looked “cute today”. I hated the attention. I also never ever wore my hair down to school. It always had to be up in a tight pony tail. I still don’t like my hair being in my face to this day and wear it up almost every day.”

“The other day, I was hanging out with a friend and she was trying to tell a story but I kept getting distracted and interrupting her. She said, ‘Emily, you kind of interrupt people a lot.’ At first I was hurt, but then I realized it’s not entirely my fault and it’s an autistic thing.”

“I mask so much that I have rehearsed responses to social interactions and will often get so nervous or start speaking from the script before I realize I’ve said the wrong response. Of course I’ll think about it all day after that and think of ‘well great, so and so thinks I’m weird now.’”

#autistic community #autistic life #aspergers #autistic problems #autistic girl

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holdwiththosewhofavorfire · 4 years

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Don’t Say It Doesn’t Matter, Cause You Know It’s Gonna Matter To Me

Title: Don’t say it doesn’t matter cause you know it’s gonna matter to me

Prompt: “Hey! If you’re taking requests I was thinking maybe Kie x JJ where she has to bail JJ out of jail so she starts scolding him and ends up yelling out that she loves him? Thanks!! xo”

Fandom: Outer Banks

Pairing: JJ/Kie

Notes: Title from “Alone with you” by Jake Owen. I am always taking prompts!

Bzzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzzz. Kiara groaned, roused from possibly her first nightmare free sleep since John B and Sarah Cameron sailed into the storm three months prior. She blindly stabbed at her phone’s screen until she managed to answer it. “Hello?” She muttered, expecting JJ or Pope to be on the other end.

Five minutes later, she was in the car, clenching the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. She drove in a blind rage through the darkened streets of the island, barely aware of her surroundings. The jail parking lot was mostly empty when she pulled in—only a few sheriff patrol cars and three very fancy vehicles that definitely belonged to Kook parents.

Kiara stormed into the waiting area, apparently just behind Topper’s mother and two other Kook dads whom she barely recognized from the Club. The Kooks were in the process of being released. Topper made a point of avoiding her eyes as his mother filled out paperwork. She ignored him. The last few months, she’s been too tired and sad to give a shit about Kooks, or rivalries, or really anything that wasn’t being there for JJ and Pope. Which brought her to now.

“I’m here for JJ Maybank. Is he ok?” She asked the officer at the desk, words tumbling over themselves. “Can I see him?”

The officer looked her over. “Uh, normally we only release kids to their parents.”

Kie cocked her hip and crossed her arms. “You wanna call Luke Maybank at this time of night? You wanna be responsible for that?”

It’s a small island. People know each other. The man pursed his lips, “I’ll get him from the holding cell.”

The Kook families filed out, the annoyed scolding reaching her ears until they each got into their respective cars to go to their respective homes and live their respective problem free lives. It must have been so strange for those parents to get this kind of call in the middle of the night. So strange that suddenly Kooks were being held responsible for their actions.

She sank into a chair and buried her face in her hands. She was so tired. Everything had been heavy since John B died…disappeared…was lost at sea. The remaining Pogues haven’t really talked about it so she can’t even characterize it. One night soon after the storm, JJ had gotten drunk and yelled at Kie and Pope for being quiet. He’d said, “You act like you’re mourning. They made it through. They’re somewhere warm and tropical and we’ll get a postcard in a few months. Stop being sad!”

It was intense denial but Pope and Kiara just…went with it. It was easier. Since then, Kie had been precariously balancing the Kook academy, shifts at the Wreck, and hanging out with JJ and Pope—trying desperately to be normal and not actually being able to remember what normal was or how to be that. JJ ending up in a holding cell was not new, necessarily, but him being alone in a holding cell, outnumbered 3 to 1 by Kooks, that was new.

“Here’s your boy.” The officer announced, JJ in tow.

JJ met her eyes as soon as she stood up. Well, his left eye met hers. His right was swollen almost shut, black and blue. There was a shadow of a bruise on his cheekbone too, and his hands were cut up. Kie didn’t trust herself to speak at the moment, so she just quietly thanked the officer and ushered JJ out to the car.

They didn’t speak for several minutes—Kiera because she was attempting to sort through the rush of emotions and also because ever since, well, that day, she’s been trying to not fly off the handle, especially around JJ. JJ was probably quiet because he was trying to figure out how to make a joke out of this.

She drove roughly half-way to the Chateau—still their go to hangout spot, still where JJ spent most nights—before she said a word. “Ok.” Kiara took a deep breath. “Want to explain to me what all that was about?” The night was too black and the Cut was too unlit to take her eyes off the road.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shrug. “I ran into some Kooks. Shit went down. Same old, same old.”

“Where did you run into them?” She asked, knowing there was more to the story.

JJ hesitated. “On the Club’s golf course. They were out drinking beers and hitting golf balls, and I was there.”

“Why were you there in the middle of the night?”

“Kie, it’s not a big deal. We had a fight, I held my own—hope you saw the other guys when their mommies came to pick them up—the cops came. No one is pressing charges or anything. I think the cops were just bored.”

“JJ!” She exclaimed, frustrated with his deflection. “Why were you there in the middle of the night? Why were you on Figure 8?”

His jaw worked in the moonlight, muscle clenching and releasing the same way his hands did as they flexed in and out of a fist. “My dad was in a bad mood, ok? My dad was in a bad mood and already drunk and I didn’t want to stay there and get the shit beaten out of me.”

Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t keep driving, so Kiara pulled the car over to the side of the road and threw on the brake. She turned to face him fully, knowing the anger she felt was clearly reflected on her face. “So you went to Figure 8, instead of the Chateau, instead of to Pope, instead of to me, still got the shit beat out of you and also got arrested? How does that make sense, JJ?”

He was mad too. Well too bad. He could be mad if he wanted, but she was the one who got woken up in the middle of the night to get him from jail, she was the one who was worried sick about him constantly. She was the one who texted Pope daily from the Kook academy, asking if he showed up, if he looked ok, if he’d eaten. She could also be mad.

“Hey.” JJ snapped. “I don’t need you mothering me. I didn’t want to be home, I didn’t want to bother you or Pope—”

“—yeah I’m clearly not bothered now--” She muttered.

“—and like I said, I’m not in trouble. I took a few punches. It happens all the time. It’s. Not. A. Big. Deal.”

And because it really seemed like he believed that—that his future, his well-being, his stupid pretty face being beaten black and blue, wasn’t a big deal—Kiara promptly burst into tears.

“whoa, hey.” JJ said, softer now.

She just leaned her forehead into the steering wheel, hands still gripping at 10 and 2 just like she’d been taught, and sobbed her heart out. Sobbed for John B who alive or dead was lost to them either way. Sobbed for Pope who said he loved her and then backed off gracefully when she told him she didn’t love the same way. Sobbed for JJ, who was so good and protective and deserved so much more than this stupid island could give him.

“Kie?” JJ’s voice was smaller than she’d ever heard.

“It is a big deal.” She insisted, eyes clenched against what felt like a never-ending flood of tears. “It’s a big deal to me.”

She felt him tug at her seatbelt until it came off, and then he slid an arm around her back and the other under her knees, and he pulled her over the center console until she was sitting sideways in his lap. Immediately, she buried her face in his neck and continued to cry—God, she couldn’t believe what a girl she was being—while he wrapped both arms around her and rocked her slowly.

“JJ.” And she paused, trying at least to stop the heaving sobs. “It’s a big deal to me, because you’re a big deal to me.”

She pulled her head up. His blue eyes were already fixed on hers, disbelieving and hopeful all at once. “I love you.” She told him, and laughed a little at herself because hey there it was; after years of keeping her feelings a secret, coming up with dumb group rules to prevent herself from acting on those feelings, it was suddenly all out in the open. Wiping her eyes, she continued, “I do, I love you so much, and it kills me when you rush into fights and get in trouble and get hurt and go home to your dad’s house. And you don’t have to love me back like that, but please, JJ, please don’t think this isn’t a big deal, that you aren’t a big deal. You are. To me, and to Pope, and I just. I just love you.”

The words hung there in the stillness between them for a moment, eyes locked. Kie found herself holding her breath, hoping against hope that maybe all of JJ’s flirtations were more than just him goofing off. As the silence dragged on, her hope flagged.

She turned her face back into his body to hide from his eyes. She didn’t regret what she said, not if it would help JJ feel like he mattered and that his life was worth care, but she couldn’t deal with the vulnerability—she felt stripped bare, there in his arms, and not in the way that she’d daydreamed about occasionally. Pressing her face into his collar bone, Kiara took a few deep breaths, feeling amazingly calm considering the last hour of her life.

“I’m good.” She breathed. “I’ll just…I’ll just drive you to the Chateau, ok? I think we both need some sleep.”

He didn’t release her. If anything, the hand on her head increased the pressure. It was possible she even felt his lips press into her hair. “Kie.” His voice was soft, almost choked up. “You have to know I love you too.”

“What?” she gasped, snapping her head to look at him.

“Of course I love you. I have for years. Always, no matter how annoying you are.”

She made a face at him. “You’re pretty annoying too.”

He grinned and her heart soared. “I know.” Then his smile faded, and he was back to intense-JJ, to self-sacrificing-put-everyone-else-first-JJ. “But you know you can do so much better than some kid from the Cut who doesn’t matter.”

Kiara grabbed his face between her palms. “I already told you—you do matter, to a lot of people and just in general, but especially to me. You better start acting like it. No more stupid fights.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He wasn’t making any promises—she knew that very well. “Can I kiss you now?”

Instead of saying yes, she just leaned forward until she could brush his bloodied lips with hers. Despite being careful not to put too much pressure on the painful spot, Kiara could feel the difference in this kiss. The kisses with John B and Pope were nice, even exciting in the way kisses with cute boys are, but this kiss. This was everything she’d ever wanted, and she couldn’t believe she’d had to wait this long to experience it. When they broke apart, they immediately gripped each other in a tight hug, unwilling to let space between them.

“I love you.” She whispered into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You gonna stay the night?” He asked. She nodded, pressing her lips into the soft skin of his neck. “Ok, let’s go get some sleep.”

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Feel free to submit prompts!

#jj maybank #jj x kie #jj x kiara #kiara carrera #outer banks #outer banks netflix #fanfiction #jiara

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terramythos · 4 years

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TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 29 of 26

Title: The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020)

Author: TJ Klune

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Comedy, Romance, Found Family, LGBT Protagonist, Third-Person

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 10/13/2020

Date Finished: 10/18/2020

Linus Baker, a forty-year-old caseworker for the Department in Charge of Magical Youth (DICOMY), lives a solitary and mundane life. But when he’s summoned by Extremely Upper Management and given a top-secret case, everything changes. Linus is sent to the classified Marsyas Island and tasked with investigating an orphanage housing six dangerous magical children-- including the Antichrist. He is to live among the residents for one month, record his observations, and report back to the organization. No more, no less.

The master of the house, Arthur Parnassus, is a mysterious and enigmatic man. But Linus soon learns that Arthur will do anything to protect his wards. As Linus grows closer to Arthur and the children, a secret from the past and prejudice of the present threaten to destroy the orphanage and their way of life. Linus must decide if he can abandon the world he knows in order to help the ones that need it the most.

"Fire and ash!” Lucy bellowed as he paced back and forth. “Death and destruction! I, the harbinger of calamity will bring pestilence and plague to the people of this world. The blood of the innocents will sustain me, and you will all fall to your knees in benediction as I am your god.”

He bowed.

The children and Mr. Parnassus clapped politely. Theodore chirped and spun in a circle.

Linus gaped.

“That was a lovely story, Lucy,” Mr. Parnassus said. “I especially liked your use of metaphors. Keep in mind that pestilence and plague are technically the same thing, so it did get a little repetitious at the end, but other than that, quite impressive. Well done.”

Minor spoilers and content warning(s) under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Semi-detailed discussions of child abuse and trauma. Internalized fatphobia (challenged). Structural discrimination, and hatred/prejudice associated with that, some of it internalized.

I'm going to have a hard time reviewing this book, because it was so goddamn good I don’t think I’ll do it justice in a few short paragraphs. So here’s the fast version: The House in the Cerulean Sea was a fucking delight to read from the first page. It’s full of genuine humor, magic, and charm, while being just this side of heart-wrenching. Though geared toward adults, it’s the first novel I’ve read in a long time that captures that childlike enthusiasm I used to have when reading a good fantasy book. It takes place in a world with magic (obviously), but it’s 98% character-driven. Both the main plot and the (queer!) romantic subplot are woven together so well that neither feel tacked on or lacking. The found family hit me in the emotions again and again and again. I read books out loud, and I spent the last third of this book struggling because I kept fucking crying and having to take regular breaks before continuing. And then I went through the whole book to find a good quote for this review and ended up fucking crying again. So yeah.

Ok. Got that off my chest. Usually in these reviews I talk about what I liked and then what didn't work for me or confused me. The good news (?) is I have zero complaints or critiques on this one. So you just get to hear me gushing about it for a while.

Since this is a character-driven book that’s where I’ll start. Linus Baker, the protagonist, is great. Let me just say I love speculative fiction books starring older characters. At forty, Linus isn’t old, but it feels like the majority of spec fic stars people under thirty. Linus is also a conspicuously ordinary guy; prim and proper to a fault, no magic, oblivious in many ways (including to his own loneliness), but with a hidden sense of justice and protectiveness for people that comes out more and more. His development over the course of the novel and how much he grows to love and care for the other characters is just so good. The writing draws attention to this through repeated phrases and jokes one doesn’t expect to make a comeback (more on that later). Seeing him come out of his shell and stand up for what’s right is cathartic as hell. As a side note, it’s also nice to have a fat protagonist who struggles with his self-image but gets warm affirmation and support from his family and love interest.

Arthur Parnassus, the deuteragonist and said love interest, is more of an enigma. A lot of his motivation and behavior makes sense once you get his Tragic Backstory (TM), and I think this will be a fun book to reread based on that. I picked up on some of it before the reveal, but not everything. But without spoiling it, I do love seeing an older (mid-forties) father figure who would do literally anything to make sure the children on the island have the care and love they need. Seeing his patient love and acceptance of them tugs my heartstrings. Maybe I’m a bit of a sap. Linus and Arthur’s obvious mutual crush on each other is also really cute, okay. There’s something about older queer people finding love that makes me smile.

And the children are great too, of course. I really liked each of them and thought they were all unique and interesting. My favorites are probably Lucy the six-year-old Antichrist, Sal the were-Pomeranian (his arc just really hit home for me), and Talia the gnome. They all have such distinct and fun personalities, and seeing them interact is great and often hilarious. I’m not very paternal, but I love seeing children with sad/abusive pasts blossom into their best selves with love, guidance, and support. It’s uh, a little personal. I’d be remiss not to mention Zoe, the resident island sprite, who brings a whole lot of personality and rounds off the group.

When I say the story is character-driven, I mean it. While a fantasy novel, there’s not any significant violence or action in the story (except for maybe one scene if you squint). The House in the Cerulean Sea is carried by its characters, interactions, and worldbuilding. The humor and inherent charm helps too -- and manages to do so without ever feeling trite. I can’t help but admire that. I was never bored; I honestly enjoyed every page because I liked the characters so much. Not to say there isn’t an overarching conflict with the whole DICOMY thing, but most of the focus is Linus struggling and coming to terms with his discoveries-- about the others and himself, and how he can make a difference on a grand scale. To me that kind of stuff is captivating. And boy does seeing someone find the place they belong get me. As I said, found family is a big thing in this book.

Aside from that, the writing is just super; it literally had me laughing from the first page. I can’t believe the fucking lemur joke came back at the end, too. But on that subject, I love that this book utilizes recurring jokes and phrases to show Linus’ character development. In particular, “see something, say something” and “don’t you wish you were here?” have VERY specific meanings to Linus at the beginning of the story, and over time transform into the polar opposite. I’m holding myself back because I don’t want to spoil shit, but if you read it you’ll see what I mean. There’s also a lot of meaningful callbacks to certain dialogue earlier in the story and I eat that kind of stuff up. But even small details, like the early quip about Linus forgetting his umbrella, come back to deliver an emotional gutpunch near the end. So thanks for that, Mr. Klune.

The book really takes a turn in the second half of the story, which is a tad darker. Avoiding the Actual Spoilers, this is where prejudice and hatred of the outside world become a bigger part of the story. We learn what’s really at stake, and that this wonderful found family in the first half is threatened by a world that hates and fears them. Boy does that shit get emotional REAL quick. Yes the allegory is obvious. No, that’s not a bad thing. Ultimately, The House in the Cerulean Sea becomes a story about love, hope, and change; and boy does that shit strike my gay little heart right where it hurts.

If you’re looking for a (literal) magical pick-me-up (ignore my comment about crying a whole lot) with INTENSE found family vibes and a side helping of queer mlm romance, dear God read The House in the Cerulean Sea. I don’t think I did it justice in this review; just trust me, it’s real good. My only complaint is that it ends; I want more, damn it!

#taylor reads #2020 reading challenge #BONUS ROUND #10/10 #i added content warnings right under the cut. idk if i will do that consistently but why not #anyway this book wrecked me

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hitodama89 · 3 years

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I've had a quite an action-filled week, but in like... The most boring adult-way possible. I still wanna write about it because hey, I am a boring adult after all.

Most of my time has been spent working with my balcony. I've been cleaning it thoroughtly because despite having closeable windows it gathers a ton of this certain sort of nasty "city dust" in it (more on that later). The first incidence that stressed me to hell and back was when I was washing its floor and suddenly the neighbor who lives below me starts yelling that water is leaking to their balcony. I tried to ask several times where exactly was it coming from so I could actually do something about it, but instead of giving any sort of helpful answer they just kept mumbling about their annoyance as loud as I think is possible to mumble. After I had finished the cleaning I went to their door with a package of cookies in order to apologise, but they didn't even open the door. Finally I ended up just writing them an apology letter because there wasn't really anything else I could've done. Fortunately that whole ordeal hasn't escalated any further since that.

After that it was time to try to fix the issue of the city dust. The thing is my balcony hasn't always had windows, they were installed a few years ago when the whole house got some remodeling done. Buuut the windows weren't exactly a perfect fit: between their frame and the balcony's handrail is this weird ~5-10 cm gap that has let anything from bugs, snow, rain and that dang dust in. So after suffering from it for several years I, uh, took the matter into my own hands and filled the gap with this... Sprayable, hardening foam thing, god knows what it's actually called even in Finnish let alone in English. After hardening it resembles styrox quite a lot? It should keep the forces of nature out quite well but it can also be dug out in case the landlord for some reason hates it and wants it gone. (The apartment complex is owned by the city I live in, not by some individual person, and usually they don't really care what you do as long as it is reverseable. I highly doubt they will ever even notice it, especially as I'm not planning to move out from here in the foreseeable future. And if they do notice it and hate it, they'd either ask me to take it off and/or give me a fine of some sort, which, okay, I can live with that risk.)

So I spray the foam which is again scary and weird and stressful, but I get it done. And then I take the next day to tidy it up, scraping it off from surfaces it doesn't belong to. At this point I'm tired and exhausted more than in a good long while, but I'm far from being finished! So what the heck even is the point of all this: why am I doing it now exactly? Well, the first reason is that for the last week or so it has been abnormally warm in Finland, temperature rising to heights that normally belong to June. The second reason stems directly from that: it reminded me of how much I've wanted to spend more time in my balcony during summers, but I've just had really no comfortable furniture in it. And that reminded me of a purchase I already tried to make during last autumn, but I ran into SEVERAL online stores that claimed to have the product I was looking for in storage but when I had already paid for it, they sent me an email stating that they didn't actually have it for real and that they'd return my money.

Now that the season was more optimal, I decided to try again: I bought myself a sun sofa. I don't know if that's what it actually called in English because even in Finland stores sell it under various names, but basically it's this nest-like round sofa thing with a raisable canopy. It's meant to be kept outside so it should be perfectly fine to keep it in my balcony, especially now that the stupid gaps have been filled (which is the reason I did it). It costed A LOT of money, likely as much as the rest of my furniture combined, as the vast majority of them have been bought used or as the absolutely cheapest option available. But like... I've basically had a whole small room I have barely been using, so I figured turning it into actually comfortable space for me would be worth it.

Okay, so at this point I had cleaned up the balcony, fought with the neighbor, filled the gaps under the windows, tidied the filler foam and ordered the nest sofa. The sofa had already been sent but according to tracking it hadn't moved out of the capitol area yet, so I thought I'd have time to paint the foam to make it less noticeable before the sofa arrives. I was wrong - this morning a confused post delivery man called me that he can't find my house (I don't really know how because I heard the voice of a GPS on the background) so I went out to wave at him. He dumped the sofa out of his car, couldn't even bother to lift it into the staircase even thought it was raining outside, and left. And I was like okay let's do this, let's get this bad boy into the third floor where I live!

I couldn't fit it into the elevator. I tried, back and forth, for god knows how long. Finally my hands were so shaky and weak that I couldn't even lift the sofa anymore and I have literally no clue what I would've done if it wasn't for the fact that my parents live in the same city and I could scream for them to come and save me. (I don't exactly love doing that, but what else was I supposed to do?) So until they arrived I just sat there in my staircase, sweaty as a pig and faint from exhaustion, with a god damn sofa in the middle of it all. Finally they came and we managed to smash that problem child into the elevator and inside my apartment.

And then that fucking thing didn't fit through my balcony door. Oh believe me, I had measured everything meticulously and it should've fit through; I don't know if the packaging was different from the promised or what, but there was no way to get it in. But good thing I had plans B, C and even fucking D ready! They were, in that order:

Take apart this... Metallic rod thing that prevents the door from opening fully so it doesn't hit the wall behind it.

If that fails, take apart the hinges of the door and lift the whole door away.

If literally everything else fails, open the window that goes from my living room to balcony and lift the motherfucking sofa through the window.

At that point we couldn't even start from B because the door had some really fucking weird screwheads and I had no right sort of screwdriver for it. Thank the forces of the universe my father is the DIY man of all the DIY mans and has about every tool you can ever imagine, so we had to go get more tools from their place and try again. In the end plan B was enough and we didn't have to take apart half of the balcony, but we were both sweating bullets for the whole day even from imagining having to do it.

Now the sofa is in the balcony. The next time I have to move it from there is hopefully when the city remodels the whole house the next time, which will be in, idk, 30 years or something. At least I promised my (now 60 years old) father that at that point he doesn't have to come to move it anymore. ='D The ordeal is finally more or less over, unless the sofa was somehow damaged during all of this: I haven't yet taken it out of the wrappers because I want to keep it covered during the painting of the foam. (I did do some painting already after all this, so I should hopefully be able to strip it tomorrow and stash it to the already painted corner.)

Two bonus points that gave some extra spice to all of this: I also got my first Covid vaccine shot this week (I belong to one of the risk groups because of my health issues) so one of my arms was pretty hurt even before I had to start lifting the sofa around the apartment complex. Fortunately I the very least haven't had any other side effects*! And bonus point number two: that heat wave that hit Finland? It's gone by now. There is literal god damn snow on the ground again. =DDDDD

*(EDIT: NO WAIT, I just realized that I did likely get one other side effect! Please skip this if you feel icky about health subjects, but I do want to mention it in case it could be helpful for someone else. I thought it was just because of intense stress and quite a bit of exercise, but my body has produced some period blood even though it isn't a proper time for it. My body doesn't generally do that because of my hormonal medication, but these days getting weird new health-related symptoms mostly just makes me shrug and continue my life. BUT now I remembered reading that the vaccine has been affecting people's periods by making them more voluminous, so that's actually likely what's causing it??? That's interesting.)

#hitto damn #god I first posted this to wrong blog becaue Tumblr is stupid #if anyone reads all of this Wild Adventure (adult life mode) TM #you get a pretty big internet cookie #on top of these shenanigans there are some internet things that have stressed me out #but... I think this is already very much long enough

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lettersofwrittencollective · 4 years

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The Pull (78/?)

Summary: The Ragnulf’s are one of the oldest lines of werewolves known. A gift from ancient times was gifted to them. Though not all of the line will experience it. There are some who will experience a Pull. This Pull leads them to their true mate, a soulmate. The problem is, just because the wolf finds their true mate does not mean that they are the same for that person.

Author: @lettersofwrittencollective

Pairing: Stiles x Hale!Cousin OC (Reader)

Word count: 2389

Warnings: angst, anger, drama

<<Prev || The Pull Masterlist || Next>>

Surprisingly, Liam agreed to go to the “party.” You’d picked him up and now you’re driving through the outskirts of the city to make it to Lydia's lake house. Music softly flowing through the speakers.

“So, um… where are we going?” Liam asks as the streetlights become more sparse being replaced by more and more trees.

“Lydia’s lake house,” you answer him almost absentmindedly, more focused on the feel of the moonlight on your skin than on the pup beside you, but he doesn’t seem to be listening.

He’s breathing hard and you realize that it would seem that the moon is pulling at him, making things more intense. A moment later snaps at you, hands covering his ears as he demands you to turn down the music. Frowning at him, you tell him if you turn it down anymore, you’ll be turning off the music.

When he doesn’t say anything you lean over and turn off the music. A few moments later, after his phone buzzes, Liam asks you, “Who’d you say was coming to this party?”

Caught off guard you tell him everyone you know is coming.

A silence falls in the car and you’re driving for about five minutes, the tug of the moon becoming something almost itchy against your skin before you hear him taking deep breaths like he’s trying to control something. At the same time, his anger fills the car and the scent is almost intoxicating. With your own control so dangerously fragile, it threatens to pull you in. The problem with his anger is that there’s no control in it. It’s not righteous. It’s not cruel. It… It seems to have no direction and if he loses it, you know that it won’t end well for anyone.

But it’s tempting. Oh so tempting and a part of you wants to fall into it. Wants to let your wolf run feral, if only for tonight. The problem is you suspect you’ll lose yourself to her if you allow her free reign and if you allow her free reign with how frustrated you are… that would end in carnage and bloodshed.

Your phone goes off, distracting you from your thoughts and you look down to see Stiles has texted you.

Stiles: where you at?

Trying not to chuckle you send him a quick response.

Tasha: Maybe 10 minutes out?

His phone dings and Tashas name pops up. He looks down to see the time and he’s tempted to tell her what he learned but what if Liam sees?

Going back and forth with himself it takes a second but eventually, he sends her a simple text… telling her to be safe.

The sound of Scott’s bike pulls his attention to the driveway and he watches for a moment before Scott’s pulling into the driveway.

“Tasha’s on her way with the little runt,” he tells his best friend as he takes off his helmet, “but I asked around about Liam. I know why he got kicked out of his last school.”

Scott gives him a look of surprise that he can’t really decipher before he sighs, “This is going to be bad isn’t it?”

“He kind of got into it with one of his teachers,” Stiles begins as he pulls out his phone. “The kids got some serious anger issues.”

“How serious?”Scott questions slowly.

Finding the picture he was looking for, he hands the phone to Scott, “Well, this his teacher’s car… after he took a crowbar to it.”

The picture had shocked him when he’d seen it. The runt had literally destroyed the car. The side mirror had been knocked down and the windows had holes in them while the body had been fully dented.

The idea of Tasha anywhere near him was both terrifying and uncomfortable

***

Liams struggling against the strength of his emotions. You can feel them emanating off of him and each is more potent than the last. You glance over and can see him clenching and unclenching his hand as you hear his heartbeat pick up. Almost on instinct, you let out a warning growl.

The sound must shock him because he’s turning to you with wide eyes and you have to find a way to play it off.

It takes a second but you offer him a smirk before reaching out and squeezing his arm, “Relax pup… you’ve got this.”

Liam seems to accept your words and his breathing evens out. The two of you seem to fall into a companionable silence, which surprises you, before he speaks up again, “You know, you keep calling me pup…”

You’re surprised by his words, you hadn’t realized it was a thing, and you can feel the blood rush to your skin as you realize that you’d done it. Clearing your throat you shake your head, and offer the explanation, “It’s a family thing.”

Liam doesn’t look very terribly convinced but he seems to think better than to question you. Before he can think about arguing with you about it, you’ve pulled into the driveway at the boathouse.

Putting the car in park, the two of you are making your way to the front door when he asks where everyone is. You tell him that they’re on their way but that you’d told Lydia you would help her with some last-minute preparations and so the two of you were early.

You open the front door with the spare that Lydia had given you after class, and let Liam walk in before you. He steps in and doesn’t seem to notice the tenseness in the room before he stops. You pull the door closed behind you and wait for the inevitable wave of anger as he realizes just who is here.

He takes a look at Lydia, Malia, Kira, Stiles, and Scott. The sight of the last two making him stiffen and both fear and anger to rush off him before he turns to you, his voice tight and pissed, “What the hell is this?”

“Think of it like an intervention,” Stiles tells him, his voice dripping with sarcasm and pulling Liam’s attention back to him before Scott cuts in, “And we’re the only ones that can help.”

Not true she scoffs as you try not to make any reaction as you internally scold her. Scott’s the best thing the kid can get. He’s a human that’s been turned and is now an Alpha. A True Alpha at that. He’ll be able to understand Liam’s emotions much better than either you, Ro, or Aaric would. Theo might be a good idea but he’s back home with the boys and there’s no point in pointing out any of this when Liam’s already on edge.

The boy’s vibrating with anger and you’re sure that he’s going to lose it but a moment later you can feel two pushes against you. Turning, you look over and see that Scott’s gone Alpha and there’s a primal part of him that he probably doesn’t even realize that is trying to push the boy to listen.

The second push feels different. If you didn’t know better you’d think it was an Alpha’s push but there was no way it could be, Scott was the only Alpha in the room after all. You half listen to Scott speak as you try to figure out where the second push is coming from but you quickly realize that it’s coming from next to Scott… it’s coming from Stiles.

It takes you by surprise but there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it right now and, besides, Scott’s telling Liam about what’s going on and he’s using his own experiences.

As Scott explains to Liam what had happened to him and how Peter had bit him a few years ago and how it’s changed his life you watch Liam. He doesn’t seem to believe a word of it but keeps his mouth shut. You’re pretty sure that he’s making mental notes to try and condemn the group of you to Eichen later but you wait.

Scott goes on to tell him how they then learned that Lydia was a Banshee, and how you joined them as another wolf at the same time Kira came around and how the group had learned about her being a Kitsune and then Malia joining them the last few months. He didn’t give any real backstory, just that order of who joined and when.

When Scott’s done, there’s a beat of silence before Liam points to Scott. “Bitten Werewolf?” he reiterates and Scott nods his head.

“Werecoyote,” he points at Malia who nods her head. Liam then points to Lydia and Kira respectively, “Banshee and fox?”

“Kitsune,” Kira clarifies, almost proudly, before she seems to think better of it, “But fox works too.”

His finger flicks over to Stiles and he practically growls out, “And what are you?”

Stiles makes a noise like he’s clearing his throat and looks around, locking eyes with you. You offer him a small nod of encouragement before he answers Liam, “Well for a little while I was possessed by an evil spirit… very evil”

You can feel the confusion running off Liam ask he asks, “What are you now?”

“Mi-” you begin before clearing your throat, “much better,” you answer.

There are five sets of eyes on you and you try your damndest to hold back your blush but you have no idea if it works.

“Is that why you called me pup?” Liam asks you and you tilt your head at him in confusion for a moment.

“You’re also a werewolf?” he clarifies and you nod your head.

“Born,” you confirm for him. It likely means nothing to him but to you, it’s a distinction that should be made. Something that he’ll eventually understand.

A grunt and the rattle of chains falling grabs Liam’s attention and he turns to see a set of handcuffs attached to a chain falling to the floor from the duffel bag that was on the table, “Are those for me?”

“No, there for me,” Malia tells him as she picks up the chains and flashes her blue eyes at him.

Liam steps back, almost falling on his butt and you step forward to grab a hold of his arm as he stutters out, “How… how.. How did you do that?”

“You’ll learn,” Scott tells him, “But first you have to make it through the full moon.”

“The moons already out,” Liam clips out and you can feel his heartbeat racing again.

“And you can feel it, can’t you?” you ask him.

He glares at you for a moment and the anger rolling off him seems like it would be fun. You move to take a step towards him and the anger. A thought crossing your mind that at least Liam would be a good fight.

Liam seems to have a different idea, he snaps at the group of you, “ I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of psychotic nutjobs. You guys are out of your freaking minds. I don't know how you did that eye thing and I don't care. I'm walking out the door right now! If any of you try to stop me, I swear to God, I'm gonna- “ a grunt of pain interrupts him as he places his hands on either side of his head, covering his ears.

Recognizing the sight from earlier and knowing that his hearings probably extremely enhanced currently, you focus your hearing and can hear the crunching gravel as a multitude of cars approach the house.

Scott’s trying to figure out what’s going on with Liam when you ask the pup, “Who did you tell?”

“My friend, Mason,” he answers you as headlights break through the trees and you turn to look at Lydia who looks annoyed. The pups defending himself, reminding you that you had told him it was a party as kids climb off their cars.

“Who did Mason invite?” you hear Stiles ask.

“Everyone,” Lydia answers as Kira steps up next to her.

At some point, Liam had managed to end up on the floor and you can hear his pained roar at the same time as nails digging into the floor.

“The floors! Get him off the floors!” Lydia practically screams as she moves to help Scott. She’s stopped with Liam roars at her, flashing his gold eyes at her. Pulling her back and behind you, you growl at Liam as he struggles against Scott.

Helping the Alpha, the two of you work in tandem and manage to get Liam down to the boathouse. It’s currently you and Scott fighting a very enraged pup experiencing his first full moon.

The anger is washing off the boy and you, once again, find it intoxicating. He snaps at you, canines elongated and you have to move out of the way so that he doesn’t actually manage to bite you.

“Listen to me pup!” you demand and when it doesn’t take you growl at him, the second time in less than an hour but this one is a demand, not a warning.

The growl catches his attention and his eyes flick over to you. Seeing you have his attention, you call out his name while putting your hands up. His eyes flick between you and Scott but you call his attention back to you.

“Ignore him and look at me pup,” you call out firmly but manage to keep your voice soft. It takes him a moment but eventually, the boy’s eyes seem to be focusing on you. Just as you seem to think he’s going to calm down enough for you to get through to him, the sound of something clattering caught everyone's attention and you turned towards the sound.

A moment later there was a thud and you turned to see Liam on the floor, Kira with a shovel in her hand and shock written across her face. You thought she had stayed behind with Lydia and the others but apparently not.

“Oh God,” Kira whispered in horror as she looked down at the pup’s prone body, “I didn’t kill him, did I?”

Scott was the one to check Liam’s pulse and shook his head, before letting out a relieved sigh and informing the two of you, “No, he’s just out cold.”

<<Prev || The Pull Masterlist || Next>>

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! Let me know what you thought! Comments, reblogs, asks… all of these things let me know how you’re feeling about the story and give me life!

Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @nicole-lynne @mummybear @emichelle @genius2050 @suhoey @fullangelimagines

The Pull Taglist: @treestarrrrrrrr @redsalv20 @truthdaze @cutiepiemimi13 @unoriginallysara @the-three-eyed-ravenclaw @linktomyheartpiece @sasha-obrienn @piccasoe @msrawog @eternallyvenus @michellebarista @lostinwonderland314 @katemusic @kiwihoee

All Dylan Stuff Taglist: @xceafh @blvckcanry @fandom-princess-forevermore @theholydestiny @delacxurs @yaya2503 @thegirlwhoimagined

Could not tag the bolded

Do not copy and paste my writing anywhere without my consent. This work is the property of lettersofwrittencollective . Associated characters belong to MTV and are being borrowed for this work, all OC’s are the property of lettersofwrittencollective. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author/publisher.

Posted 24 February 2020

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golchaworld · 4 years

Text

Panacea | L.BG (Part 1)

➳ pairing: lee byunggon x fem!reader, ft. cix ensemble

➳ genre: organized crime!au, action, occasional fluff

➳ word count: ~3.3k

➳ warnings: cursing, mild violence, mentions of non-descriptive gore, mentions of sex, glorification of crime

➳ summary: Three years ago, they were sitting in the back of their chemistry class, passing notes and giggling. Now they’re fighting to take down the biggest crime lord in Seoul — their own. Who would have thought knowledge about hydrochloric acid would become so useful?

A/N: I got this idea on a whim a couple of weeks ago. I did a lot of research about CIX’s individual personalities to make this story as true to their characters as possible. I hope you guys enjoy. As always, feel free to reblog or reply with feedback, and my asks are always open.

Part Two

panacea (noun): a solution or remedy for all difficulties

The elevator lets out a soft chime before its doors open. As the man walks further into the office, his shoes click against the sturdy marble. His entrance is announced before he opens the door, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The receptionist quirks his head up, smiling widely once he lays eyes on the man. Not quite the reaction he would expect. The man doesn’t let his surprise show, just choosing to approach the receptionist with an expression set in stone.

“Welcome to Adonis, Inc.,” the receptionist greets. His name tag reads ‘Yoon Hyunsuk’ which is quite the fitting name for the boy behind the desk. His smile never once falters. “How can I assist you today?”

“I’m here for a meeting with Mr. Kim.”

Hyunsuk nods, instantly turning to his computer. “Perfect! May I have your name, please?”

“Ahn Taebin.”

“Okay, Mr. Ahn. I have you down right here. I’ll have someone right out who will take you to Mr. Kim.”

The receptionist finishes his sentence with a smile that has a shiver run up the man’s spine. Does this kid ever stop smiling? Apparently not, seeing as he picks up the phone, muttering a few words into the receiver while he still beams. When another man approaches the reception desk, this time from inside the office, Hyunsuk is still smiling.

“Mr. Ahn, this is Lee Byunggon. He will take you to see Mr. Kim, alright? Feel free to let him know if you need anything.”

The other man, Byunggon, sends Mr. Ahn a curt nod, which serves as both a greeting and a motion to follow him.

The two pass through the seemingly normal office. Cubicles are arranged in neat rows, yet only a few are inhabited by people. Mr. Ahn chuckles under his breath. He knows how hard it is to gain employees in a business like this.

The few employees that are at their desks seem to be hard at work. A few pore over files while others type aggressively. The whole office has the same aura. The perfection is a facade; there’s underlying aggression here. The neatness has a messy side. Mr. Ahn just doesn’t know what it is yet.

Eventually Byunggon stops in front of a grandiose wooden door. The words ‘Kim Jaeyong’ are engraved in a fancy gold font, perfectly matching the warm oak door. From the front, there are no windows, indicating that no one can see in or out. Mr. Ahn wonders if he should take that as a threat.

After three knocks that resonate throughout the office, the door is opened to reveal a blank face. Mr. Ahn has heard that Kim Jaeyong never makes the mistake of showing emotion.

Mr. Ahn is greeted with a short bow, which he returns before Kim Jaeyong motions for him to enter his personal office. Mr. Ahn complies, missing the way Byunggon smiles as the door closes behind the two. Byunggon’s not upset about being left out of the meeting, knowing he’ll bear witness to the best part later.

. . .

Mr. Ahn wakes up with a splitting headache. A bright light is shining in his face, making him flinch away. It’s then that he realizes he can’t move. Mr. Ahn looks down to where his arms are pinned to his sides, held down by a thick rope that has his entire body bound to the chair he sits in. He tries to let out a yell, a scream for help, something, but any sound he makes is muffled by the thick cotton that has been stuffed in his mouth.

“Look, guys. The asshole is awake.”

Mr. Ahn instantly searches the room, looking for the source of the words. It’s difficult, but eventually he makes out six figures standing behind the light that shines intensely in his face. He can’t make out specific faces due to the light, but a familiar smile glows even in the darkness of the surrounding room. The receptionist.

Hyunsuk chuckles darkly, clapping a hand on the shoulder of the boy next to him. “I think you’re going to have fun with this one, Jinyoung.”

The boy next to Hyunsuk, Jinyoung, Mr. Ahn supposes, smiles in his own twisted way. He drags his eyes up and down Mr. Ahn’s figure, eyes lit with a certain sadistic hunger that has Mr. Ahn’s stomach recoiling.

“Too bad I’m not going to get to the best part of it all, seeing as this asshole is going to tell us everything we need to know. Right, asshole?”

Mr. Ahn does his best to shake his head no, squirming within his confines. All six figures break out into laughter, even the ones he can’t see.

The boy that approaches him first has a soft smile, one that looks too sweet to participate in something like this. Mr. Ahn knows it’s all a facade. One look at the boy’s muscular arms lets Mr. Ahn know that he’s the real brawn of this group. Mr. Ahn feels bile rise in his throat.

The boy with the sweet smile just reaches forward, removing the fabric from Mr. Ahn’s mouth. He squats in front of his bound prisoner, cocking his head to the side cutely.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” Mr. Ahn spits out.

Sweet smile boy chuckles. “We are simple people, Ahn Taebin. So let’s start this simply. Where’s our shipment?”

Mr. Ahn racks his brain for information, but he turns up empty handed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Another boy steps out from the shadows, a tablet in hand. With a quick press of a button, staticky audio streams from the device. The boy is stoic, factual, and looks all too much like Kim Jaeyong. He must be a relative. But Mr. Ahn’s train of thought is interrupted when he hears his own voice flutter out of the tablet.

“I don’t give a fuck. I’ll be damned if I deliver Adonis all of that phencyclidine. We could be profiting off that shit. What good is angel dust if we’re not the ones selling it?”

Mr. Ahn wants to vomit. Where the hell did they get that recording?

Sweet smiling boy chuckles again as his other friend returns back to the shadows. “How about I ask you one more time, Ahn Taebin. Where. The fuck. Is our shipment?”

“I don’t fucking know.” Mr. Ahn delivers a sweet smile of his own. He’ll be damned if he lets some kids in on the inner workings of his shipments, even if they already know that they’re hidden.

“You see, I find that pretty hard to believe. When I asked Miyeon, she seemed to think that you knew exactly where our shipment was.”

If Mr. Ahn thought he was going to vomit before, he definitely is now. He spent his entire life trying to keep Miyeon away from this lifestyle, and yet here she is, still wrapped up in Adonis’ tendrils.

“What did you do to my daughter, you son of a bitch?! If you hurt her, I swear my entire gang will have your head.”

At this, the room erupts in sadistic laughter once again. Mr. Ahn hates how much they’re enjoying this.

Sweet smile boy places a patronizing hand on Mr. Ahn’s knee, eyes filling with mirth. “Don’t worry, Ahn Taebin. I didn’t hurt your precious Miyeon. But her pussy might be sore for a few days.”

Mr. Ahn uses all of his strength to fight against his restraints, attempting to lunge towards the boy squatting in front of him. His efforts are futile, though, leaving him to yell frustratedly.

“You twisted fucks,” he bites out.

Sweet smiling boy just stands, retreating into the darkness as another boy takes his place. Mr. Ahn recognizes this as the one from earlier, the one with the sadistic eyes. He holds a pair of pliers in his left hand, in his right, a bone saw. Mr. Ahn gulps.

“Mr. Ahn,” the boy begins. “I think you’ve brought me to my favorite part. So this is your last chance before we really get started. Tell us where our shipment is, and you just might leave with all 10 fingers and 10 toes.”

The light in Mr. Ahn’s face has begun to make him sweat. Despite his discomfort, Mr. Ahn stays strong.

“Go to hell.”

The corner of the boy’s mouth quirks up. “If you say so.”

. . .

“Cheers!”

You clink your glass against the five in front of you before knocking back the shot. The soju burns your throat as it slides down, warming your core to the highest degree. In all honesty, you preferred wine, but Seunghun always insisted on hard liquor after a long week.

You watch as the boys’ faces contort in various ways as they each take the shot. Hyunsuk’s nose scrunches cutely, reminding you much of a baby bunny. Yonghee’s face is twisted into a tight grimace. Jinyoung is the only one who’s stoic, face not budging even as the alcohol travels down his throat. Oh Jinyoung, always the show off.

The plush carpet that you sit on tickles your thighs, reminding you to be mindful of the way your skirt shifts. You remember just how frustrated you were that you had gotten blood on your only comfortable clothes, and thus had to wear this stuffy office getup for the remainder of the day.

“Honestly,” Hyunsuk begins. “I still don’t know how Seunghun managed to fuck every single one of these guys’ daughters. Like every single time!”

Seunghun smirks, leaning back to rest against the couch. “It’s easy when you look like me, kid.”

The group instantly erupts in fake gags and booing. As much as you all praise Seunghun for the inside work he does, it doesn’t mean you enjoy the cockiness. Seunghun’s beauty has definitely gone to his head since he started this work, inflating his ego maximally.

“Shut up,” Jinyoung retorts. “You’re not even the hottest. That’s obviously me!”

Byunggon snorts before knocking back another shot. “You’re both so full of shit.”

You watch as the boys devolve into an argument of who’s most handsome. The only one who is quiet is Yonghee, who just watches the interaction with amusement painted on his face. You wonder if he knows that he could easily win the competition for most attractive.

Yonghee, despite being the handsome guy he is, has always been extremely humble. Part of it stems from being the crime boss’ computer nerd son; he never feels like he’s good enough.

When you meet his eyes from across the small coffee table, you shoot him a small smile. He returns it cutely, making a scene of rolling his eyes at your shared friend group’s banter. Honestly, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

“Y/N,” Hyunsuk calls your attention. “Help us out here. Who do you think is the best looking?”

Jinyoung groans, throwing his head back exaggeratedly. “That’s not fair. She’s just going to choose Byunggon!”

The heat that rises to your cheeks is imminent. Even if Jinyoung is right, that doesn’t mean he has to actually say it.

You’ve always found Byunggon attractive, even when you were younger. His strong jaw and rounded cheeks provide the perfect balance between cute and manly. Paired with his wide shoulders, deep voice, and dimples to die for, it’s obvious that Byunggon is the epitome of perfection.

And just maybe you’re a little in love with him.

What’s worse is that it’s not a secret. Everyone in the office seems to notice. Even Kim Jaeyong himself once made a joke about when you two would finally make it official. And maybe it’s a good thing that everyone knows. Well, everyone except Byunggon himself.

“She is not going to choose me!” Byunggon ducks his head to hide his blush. “You’re her favorite, Hyunsuk. She’s definitely going to choose you.”

Seunghun cocks an eyebrow, looking at you expectantly. “Well…?”

There’s only one way to diffuse the tension, this you’re sure of. You slowly scan over each of the five boys, pretending to think objectively. Eventually your gaze lands on an empty bottle of soju on the middle of the coffee table.

“I think it’s Yonghee.” You shrug.

The room is silent for a second, all five boys seemingly pondering the answer that you gave. Yonghee’s cheeks bloom a brilliant pink, spurred on further by the amount of alcohol in his system.

Seunghun just nods, taking another shot of soju. “You’re kind of right. Yonghee has always been the pretty one.”

The mentioned boy’s cheeks flush an even deeper pink, if possible. “That’s not true,” he mutters.

“It kind of is,” Hyunsuk chimes. “You always get random numbers from girls, even when we go to like the grocery store.”

“Like I said,” you cock an eyebrow teasingly. “No one can compare to the Kim Yonghee.”

By now, Yonghee is shaking his head, making every attempt to calm his pink cheeks. Jinyoung must find it endearing, because he reaches over and pinches the flesh, letting out small coos.

“Okay, but like, Y/N,” Hyunsuk starts again. “Who is second place?”

Although you can tell this is going to be a long night, you wouldn’t have it any other way. When you do the work that the six of you guys do, decompressing on a Friday night is much needed.

It started within the first month of you all working under Adonis, high school besties turned organized crime dream team. When Jinyoung disassembled his first human body, he called for a meeting on a random Friday for emotional support. It’s been a tradition ever since.

By now, it’s gotten a lot easier, the torture and murder. Well, it’s as easy as torture and murder can get. Those of you with the stronger stomachs do the more physical work, and those who are more squeamish work behind the scenes.

Seunghun and Jinyoung work hand in hand when it comes to torturing information out of the prey. Seunghun’s specialty is psychological torture, getting close to the prey’s loved ones and using it against them in moments of weakness. Jinyoung, on the other hand, works purely physically. You’ve seen him break bones like glow sticks without batting an eye.

You prefer the physical work once the prey is actually dead. That means most of the time you’re on body disposal. As a chemistry whiz in high school, you’ve known how to completely dissolve a body in hydrochloric acid since you were 15. If only you knew how much it would come in handy in the future.

Before all of the torture begins, though, someone has to lure the prey into the trap. That’s where Byunggon and Hyunsuk come in. They work as yin and yang, playing good cop and bad cop to both intimidate and provide a sense of security to the prey. Once the prey trusts a little too much, and is a little too comfortable with Hyunsuk’s smile, Byunggon swoops in, letting the chloroform do the work.

The only one who works completely behind the scenes is Yonghee. Sweet, innocent Yonghee pales at the sight of blood, but beams in front of a computer screen. More often than not, he keeps Adonis, Inc. running. He legitimizes all of the documents, wipes the security cameras, and leads any wandering eyes through a confusing hole of technological bullshit.

It’s the least he could do as the heir to the Kim throne.

. . .

Two hours later, the six of you are each in various states of drunkenness, strewn about Seunghun and Byunggon’s shared apartment floor. Their apartment was where you all had always decided to throw your end of week celebrations, but something about tonight has the place looking a little messier than usual.

Maybe it’s the fact that Jinyoung spilled soju on the carpet, twice. Or the fact that Hyunsuk has finished his third bag of chips, and hasn’t picked up any of the wrappers. Even Byunggon has crumbs on the side of his face.

But the messiness seems to match the aura of the night, fueling everyone’s mood. Seunghun keeps looking around anxiously, as if there’s something that’s threatening to burst out from inside him. You hope it’s not vomit.

“Guys, are we really going to do this for the rest of our lives?” The boy questions with a drunken lilt to his words, making them slur together. “Are we going to be cutting up bodies at 50? 60?”

Yonghee snorts. “Some of us don’t have a choice.” Even though he’s tipsy, you can still detect the grief in his voice.

“None of us have a choice,” Jinyoung reminds. “This isn’t a life we can just quit. We knew that before we even started.”

Seunghun’s signature pout takes hold on his face, making him look like a kicked puppy. You always wonder how Seunghun, someone who looks as sweet as he does, can live a life like this. What kind of internal darkness is housed under that mask of sincerity?

“I know, but being around the boss is so draining. He can be so fucking demeaning!” Seunghun’s eyes are red and glossy from the alcohol. “Spending so much time with him drives me crazy.”

You nod understandingly. Being around Kim Jaeyong is nothing short of a nightmare. He’s entitled, cocky, and all too harsh, even when dealing with those who have his back. Even the way he treats his own son is appalling, but you guess that’s the consequence of having so much power.

Kim Jaeyong can end lives with a snap of his fingers, and everyone around him knows that. So no one steps forward, no one takes a stand against him, and no one ever dares to cross him, leaving his power unchecked and absolute.

Seunghun continues, fueled by anger and hard liquor. “It gets so hard to have to deal with his sadistic mind all of the time. One time he said that he likes killing people because it makes him feel like a god. He told me that’s why the business is called Adonis. Who the fuck likes killing people?”

Yonghee doesn’t look up from his lap, doesn’t flinch, doesn’t make any move to defend his father. He knows he can’t. His father’s actions have been heinous long before Yonghee was born, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“I hate that he thinks of himself as a god. I hate that he thinks he’s so untouchable. Why can’t he show us a little respect? We do so fucking much for him.” Jinyoung’s voice is laced with venom.

“Imagine how I feel,” you say bitterly. “Getting catcalled all day at work isn’t exactly a dream job.”

The dichotomy of working in crime and working for a friend’s dad is a weird one. On the one hand, you expect the lewd, inappropriate manners in which business is conducted. On the other hand, you still have your expectations of being treated like a friend, like family, even. But Kim Jaeyong treats you like a piece of meat.

“Still?” Seunghun throws his hands up frustratedly. “I told him to stop that shit ages ago. I can’t believe he’s still harassing you.”

Hyunsuk rolls his eyes, crumbs staining the left corner of his mouth. “Well it’s not like there’s anything we could do about it. He’s never listened to us. Plus, the man’s not dying anytime soon, so it’s not like we’re changing leadership.”

There’s silence for a moment, weaving in between the bodies in the room in a swirling haze. The glow from Seunghun’s overhead lamp is reflected in Jinyoung’s eyes. Sinister. That’s what his gaze is.

“What if we could?” The boy asks. “What if we could change leadership?”

Byunggon groans in annoyance. “What are you on about now? Hyunsuk just said it, we’re not changing leadership anytime soon.”

“Yeah, but what if we could,” Jinyoung stands up, swaying slightly from the alcohol. “What if we could change Adonis’ leadership?”

Seunghun’s brows furrow, and he shares a confused look with Hyunsuk. “How would we do that?”

Jinyoung lets out a short chuckle. A smirk has taken a hold on his lips, turning them upwards slightly.

“We can take Kim Jaeyong down...all by ourselves.”

[Part Two]

#cix imagines #cix #complete in x #lee byounggon #lee byounggon imagines #escritos #panacea

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