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floralcyanide · 2 months

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ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴏɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴏʀ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴ — ᴄᴀʟʟᴜᴍ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇʀ

callum turner x afab!reader (nsfw)

You and Callum are camp counselors. Both of you are up to no good one night and share an intimate moment.

✣ warnings: smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, sex in a lake, cigarette smoking, female anatomy described, nipple play, semi-public sex, fingering

✣ word count: 1.7k (idk how it came out so short)

✣ author’s note: thanks to a friend for the camp counselor idea and making me feel things lol and thanks for all the votes for this fic! I enjoyed writing it.

masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

“Have you ever smoked a cigarette before?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Want one?”

You stare at the cigarette in Callum’s outstretched hand, hesitant to take it. Your legs stop swinging on the dock where you’re perched next to the tall boy, your hand reaching out to take the cigarette from his fingers. You stick it between your lips, silently asking with your eyes, “Is this how I do it?” He nods encouragingly, sliding a match across its box and cupping the end of the cigarette with his hand before lighting it. The action alone sends butterflies raging in your stomach. You puff the cigarette, inhaling slowly so you don’t cough. Exhaling, tendrils of smoke leave your lips, and Callum watches in awe.

“You hit that like you’ve been smoking all your life,” Callum chuckles as you pull the cigarette from your mouth and offer it to him.

“Nah,” he says, “it’s all yours.”

The two of you are counselors at the summer camp outside your city and definitely were not allowed to smoke while on the campgrounds. You also weren’t supposed to be out past curfew. But the thrill of being caught is what gets to you. Callum just does it because his pretty face can get him out of any trouble. You stare out at the lake that seems to go on forever in a black abyss to the horizon. Callum bumps his knee into yours as you finish the cigarette, somehow managing not to cough too terribly much.

“Wanna skinny dip?” Callum suddenly asks, a giddy smile on his face.

“What? Are you delusional?” you laugh, putting out the cigarette on the wooden dock.

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

You search his eyes for any signs of him joking but see none.

“You’re serious?” you ask, looking around to ensure no one is listening.

“Deathly.”

You stare at each other momentarily before bursting into a quiet fit of giggles.

“Fine, but we gotta be quiet.”

You’re glad it’s dark so Callum can’t see the full extent of your body. But also disappointed that it’s dark because you can’t see Callum without his clothes, as much as you’d like to. Ever since the first day of orientation for counseling, you’ve been unable to keep your eyes off him. He seems to feel the same as you but less subtle. Callum has done nothing but flirt with you during the first two weeks of camp. Not that you mind, of course. But skinny dipping in the lake past curfew seems like a full-fledged affair.

Callum rips his shirt over his head, tossing it where his shoes sit neatly by the dock entrance. He then stands to discard his pants, and you watch in silence, unable to move as you drink in what you can see of Callum in the moonlight. You realize you’re staring and hurry to remove your own clothes, but you're hesitant to take off your underwear until Callum does. You avert your eyes quickly as he does so. You aren’t that experienced in seeing the male physique naked, given you’ve not had much experience with sex in general. Sure, you’ve given a blowjob here and there, but nothing past that. Maybe Callum's flirting is just for fun, and he isn’t expecting anything. Not that you’d say no to him starting something, though. After all, why not? He’s cute, polite, great with the kids, and isn’t bad to look at.

Your thoughts are interrupted when Callum slides off the dock and smoothly into the water. He surfaces after submerging himself fully, swiping his hair from his forehead.

“Coming?” Callum grins, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but don’t look,” you say shyly, reaching behind your back to unclasp your bra.

Callum closes his eyes but, unbeknownst to you, peeks through one of his eyes to watch you shimmy out of your underwear. He hurries to close it back when he sees you slip into the lake. The water is comfortable as the sun had warmed it earlier in the day. You swim over to where Callum is, stifling a laugh as he pumps his fist in the air at you, joining him.

“Never would’ve thought that little ol’ you would be skinny dipping,” Callum shakes his head, tutting at you.

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t do it with anyone else,” you say honestly, and Callum smiles softly at you.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Callum sinks lower into the water until his chin is just above the surface.

You copy him, your eyes locked on his. Callum reaches out and tucks some hair behind your ear, the gesture sending chills through you despite the warmth of the lake. He swims closer to you, his legs nearly kicking against yours.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you say.

“Would it make things weird if I kissed you?” Callum asks, his eyes flickering to your lips.

“No,” you shake your head, “I don’t think it would.”

Callum lifts a hand from the water to cup your cheek, the moonlight shining in his eyes as he leans in to kiss you. You let your eyes flutter shut as his lips press to yours, those butterflies from earlier returning. Both of you aren’t too far out in the water, so you can easily plant your feet on the bottom to anchor yourselves. Callum snakes a hand to your waist, his fingers gripping your skin slightly. He takes advantage of being near the shallows so he can pull you close to him without worrying about sinking. Callum deepens the kiss by catching you off guard and letting his tongue sneak into your mouth. One of your hands finds the back of his hair, water dripping onto his neck and your fingers. His hand slides up your side, his thumb brushing over your breast, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.

“Is this okay?” Callum asks, pulling away but barely parted from your lips.

“Yeah, I just,” you bite your bottom lip, “I’ve never…” you trail off nervously.

“Never?” Callum raises his eyebrows, “A pretty thing like you?”

Your ears burn as you glance down awkwardly, “Never.”

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t want to take your virginity in a murky lake,” Callum snorts.

“Even if you did, I wouldn’t care where it was. I like you, Cal.”

Callum flashes a smile at you, “I like you too.”

“You can do as you please. I don’t mind,” you say, “It’s about time, anyway. I’m not getting any younger.”

Callum chuckles at your last comment before grasping your breast under the water, letting his thumb wander over your nipple again, “Don’t worry, I’ll be slow with it.”

You shudder as Callum does it again, leaning in to kiss you once more as he teases you. He moves from your lips to your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there as he plays with your breasts, eliciting soft moans from you. You hope you don’t get caught. You brush that out of your mind as you let your hand move to Callum’s length, slowly pumping it until it hardens. He groans into your skin, kissing your shoulder gently. He lets his focus move from your upper body to your lower body, his fingers tracing your clit with softness. You move close to Callum until you’re against his chest for leverage, letting him play with you. He slips a finger inside you, your eagerness allowing it to go in without much struggle. Callum uses his thumb to swipe your clit as he adds another finger, curling them inside you and stretching you out deliciously. You bury your face in his neck, whimpering at the warmth spreading in your belly. Callum can feel you clenching around his fingers, noting you’re ready for him.

“Let me know if I need to stop,” Callum whispers in your ear, nipping the skin of your lobe as he lines himself up with your entrance.

You wrap your legs around his waist, and your arms are around his shoulders as he slowly pushes himself into you. It comes with some resistance as you’ve never had anything inside of you before, so Callum allows you to take deep breaths and relax before pushing anymore. He cards his fingers through your hair, encouraging and telling you how good you’re doing. It makes you take him easier, your cunt swallowing him nearly whole. Callum finally bottoms out, letting himself feel you around him for a second before pulling out slightly. He thrusts back in steadily, careful not to be too rough. After adjusting, you allow Callum to start fucking you properly, and you’re honestly shocked you didn’t do this sooner.

“Fuck,” you screw your eyes shut, gasping as Callum hits your g spot with a particularly harsh thrust.

“Just like that,” Callum says as your walls suck him in, “Doing so good, love.”

Your fingernails dig into his back as you bounce on Callum’s cock, him bucking his hips into you simultaneously. Callum takes advantage of your breasts being near his face as he clasps onto one of your hardened nipples, flicking it with his tongue and sending waves of electricity through you. Everything is clouding your head with pleasure as you feel yourself growing close. Callum grips your hips, his fingertips boring into your skin as he feels himself growing close, too.

“You can cum inside me,” you say in Callum’s ear, and he curses under his breath at that.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Callum plummets his hips against your thighs as you move yours in fluid motions, feeling him at every angle. He nudges your clit with his thumb again, and you tumble over the edge, clenching harshly around Callum’s length. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him and the filthy sounds you’re making in his ear make him cum without warning. You feel his warmth inside you as he shudders against your neck, leaving soft kisses along it.

“You did great,” Callum says, slowly pulling out of you.

You catch your breath, glancing around to see if anyone is nearby. Thankfully, you’re still alone, “That was amazing.”

“I’m glad,” Callum says.

“Let’s get out, I’m getting all pruney,” you cringe.

Callum laughs and agrees before realizing something.

“Didn’t think to bring towels,” he sighs.

“Race you to the showers, then?” you grin as the two of you climb back onto the dock.

“Get ready to be beaten.”

#callum turner #callum turner x reader #callum turner smut #callum turner x reader smut #callum turner x you #callum turner x you smut #callum turner x y/n #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner fic #callum turner fanfic #callum turner imagine #callum turner x y/n smut #camp cousnelor au #floralcyanide writes

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nyxxxx-onepieces-dragun · 6 months

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Hello there I hope your doing well and your day is going well too ,so it say that in your ask box is open for request, well I would really love to request bottom ace with gn reader or just female reader, go wild it could be a headcanon or a short fic dosent matter!

A/N: Oml hi anon! I am doing great and I hope your doing good as well!^^ sorry it took me awhile to get to ur request I have finals coming up so I was studying hella hard, but your request has been fulfilled and I cannot fathom how bad I would top this man js sayin. Also the song NASTY by russ helped write this But enjoy all my lovelies! ;3

Characters: Bottom!Ace x fem reader (fem is easier for me I hope thats alr!) and all the good bottom-top stuff! also a bit NSFW so yea- no minor's pls!^^

Bottom Ace Headcanons

Okay firstly, like I said in my other NSFW Ace hc, he has a praise kink, he likes giving praise, but my oh my, does he LOVE receiving it, call him a "good boy~" or say "your doing such a good job love~" he's immediately melting into you, filling your womb with his kids.

He's a whimperer and a beggar, no doubt about it, like he'll act all macho-man in front of everyone else, but when you two are alone he's begging you to ride him harder, small whimpers escaping his pretty sun-chapped lips "p-please y/n~ a-ah~! harder!~..." he'll whine strands of his ravenette sticking to his sweaty forehead.

When you first asked to be on top, he was hesitant since he thought he wouldn't like it because he's usually on top, but when you teased and edged him to an explosive orgasm, he has now become your pillow princess, though of course he'll make sure you feel good too <3

Hair pulling. I don't know why but I feel like he enjoys it when you tug at his raven locks a stinging pain on his scalp elevating his high, makes him moan more too.

Aftercare: Mk so this bb needs lots of cuddles and kisses, receiving or giving wise, he likes to be little spoon and feel extra loved, will be a big baby if you say that you want to be little spoon cause thats his place 🥺 but will big spoon you none the less <3

He's a switch but prefers being bottom boy cause he's a little lazy and he also just passes out sometimes due to his narcolepsy, so instead of you having to wait for him to wake up (which can take hours hehe) you can just keep going cause why stop?

he regularly gets teased by Marco and Thatch because he "follows you around like a puppy" according to the both of them, but what they don't know is he is your little puppy bottom boi ;3

I apologize if this isn't well-written as it is my first time writing something like this but I hope the anon that requested it and everyone else enjoyed reading it as I did writing it! reposts/reblogs are welcome js credit me! <3

#one piece #portgas d ace #ace x y/n #nyx #portgas d ace x reader #one piece x reader #he is so golden retriever coded #nyxwrites #nyxanswers

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andydrysdalerogers · 2 months

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Presley ~ A Curtis Everett AU ~ Part Eight

Curtis Everett x OFC Presley Adams

Synopsis:

Curtis Everett is a hard working man. As the head of the mob of Concord, he does everything he can to provide for his wife and children. His life is perfect. Until it's not.

After a devastating accident, Curtis is alone with his children and needs some serious help.

Presley Adams needs to find work and fast. Running from her past she just wants to lay low and earn enough to get her out of town. Until she starts working for Curtis as his live in nanny.

As she falls in love with this family, can she stop her past from finding her? Or will her past be the end of the Everett reign in Concord?

Book two of the Five Kings of Boston series

Warning: themes of a mafia lifestyle; SMUT; possessive tendencies; murder; death; age gap; rape

Banners by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Previous: Part Seven

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter Eight ~ Negotiations

Presley

I’ve never given much thought on how my life would end.

When I was trapped in my father’s house and slated to marry Charles, I had considered taking my own life just to escape. But my mother, bless her, she knew and convinced me that she would get me away from this life. When I was on the run, I feared a bullet being put into me. The last year was the first time that I hadn’t thought about my demise. For the first time, I could plan a future. I could see myself having love with Curtis, raising our children. We had talked and we always wanted more.

It wasn’t suppose to be like this. Mama had said that marriage was hard work but that love would be the foundation. I had asked her once whether she loved my father. She told me she used to. A lot of things had changed after the war we had when i was a child. That was the reason he could no longer have children, an accident. After the war, my father changed and was no longer my papa. He starting making plans on how to protect his family, his legacy. I was a princess and now I was just a pawn.

Enter Charles.

He was sweet, once. When we were introduced, he had charm, charisma. A good looking man from an under family. He had saved one of my cousins and earned favor with my father. My engagement was announced a month later. He just had to wait until I turned 18.

Then came the library.

It was a typical mafia soiree, food, liquor, music. I needed a moment to breathe. I was feeling nervous. My birthday was in less than a month away. I wasn’t ready to be a wife and my mother had been pleading with my father to wait until I was older. But my father refused. So, I was sulking in the library, emotional over all the congratulatory wishes we were getting. I had to stand by his side. At the time, I was happy to marry Charles. I would be queen of this family as my father has always said. But when someone mentioned starting a family right away, a surge of unease filtered into my belly and I needed a moment.

“You’re hiding, love.” I turned to look back at Charles.

“I just needed a moment to take it all in.” I smiled to comfort him. “Its a little overwhelming.”

“Yes, it is. But when we are in charge, you will want for nothing, be worried for nothing.” He kissed my forehead. “I promise, everything will be fine.”

“I know you will take care of me, Charles. But, I am nervous about being intimate and having kids. I wanted to see the world and live a little. I wanted to spend time with my husband before we are parents.” I looked back out the window.

“I can’t believe you are so innocent in this world.” He pressed up next to me and I could feel how aroused he was at the idea of me being innocent.

“Charles, please, I just need space,” as I moved to push him away.

“Oh, darling, I’m just looking for a taste.” He grabbed my hands to put them over my head. My dress, which he had requested be shorter than I liked, rode up to the tops of my thighs. “You are gorgeous, my little innocent flower, mi Piccola.” He kissed me hard. I struggled to break free but he had a tight hold on me. With my wrists in one hand, Charles used his other hand to skim from my knee up my dress. “Fuck, so hot right here,” pressing on my center.

I screamed. He tried to silence me but the sound caused my guard, Natalia, to rush the room. My mother had been looking for me and ran in with her. Natalia pulled Charles off of me and threw him to the ground. “You’ll never lay a hand on her again or I will gut you like a fish.”

Charles picked himself up and dusted off his clothes. “You will regret this,” he told her. “All of you!” He stormed out. I was sobbing in my mother’s arms.

“Sweetie, this is bad,” my mother says to me. “We need to get you out of here. Natalia, in my sewing room is an envelope with Ameila’s name on it in the bottom drawer. Grab it and wait for us in the garden.” My mother grabbed my face. “You’re gonna be ok. You just keep running.” She walked me out to the back of the house, away from the party.

“Natalia will know what to do. Just keep moving. Change your name if you can Ameila.” We made it to the back fence. Natalia was there with a small backpack. “Take care of her.” She kissed Nat’s forehead. “Keep her safe. I will distract them for as long as I can.” She looked at me. “I love you princessa. Remember that.” She took of the necklace she wore, my favorite and sent me into the night.

I didn’t know that would be the last time I ever saw her.

We ran and for some reason, a car flashed it lights. “I called in a favor,” Natalia told me. A man behind the wheel didn’t say anything as we climbed in. But before I closed the door, I heard a shot in the night.

We ran for two years before we got separated. They had found us, my father’s men and Natalia led them in a different direction. I thought she was dead as well. I found my way into Massachusetts and met Cat. The rest is history. I thought I was safe, that i found a home. My future was in my sight.

I didn’t see that I would be back in Charles’s clutches.

He paces in front of me, speaking on the phone. I keep digging my nails into my palms, trying to stop my body from trembling. I can only imagine who he is on the phone with. Probably my father. He finally hangs up and turns to me. “I’ve been waiting six years to find you Amelia.”

“My name is Presley.” Why am I being defiant to a psychotic man?

“That’s right. Marco did say that you changed your name. Legally as well.” He smiled. I remember that smile. Ladykiller, my mother called it once. “We’ll change it back once we are married.”

“I’m not getting married.”

It was like he was lightning. One second he was on the side of the room, the next he was in front of me, grabbing my chin so I would look at him. “If I say we are getting married, then we are getting married. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” I nodded, scared to open my mouth. This is the lunatic that my father chose for me. “Good.” He planted a kiss on my lips and it took everything not to gag. “Now, we leave in an hour, so freshen up, we have a drive a head of us.”

Once we were in the car, Marco driving with another guard I had never met, Charles took my hand and intertwined our fingers. When I tried to pull away, he just tightened his grip. “You’re hurting me,” I whispered.

“Then behave.” Charles sighed. “You know Presley, I wish we had the last six years.”

“Why? You just wanted to use me.” I kept looking out the window, tears slowly running down my face.

“I thought you and I were made for each other. I only ever wanted a taste. I was never going to hurt you, sweetheart. But you decided to scream. And everything was ruined. Your father though, he is a smart man. He still made me his right hand and I’ve slowly taken over. The men answer to me.” He squeezed my hand until I looked at him. “I am the head of the Giovanni family now by reputation. After I make you my wife, I’ll be the head of this family forever.”

“You’re a monster.”

“Stick and stones, sweetheart. You could have been in a position of power. Standing by my side. But now, well now, now you are going to be my little slut. I’ll keep you chained to our bedroom, naked and waiting for me to use you as my personal cumdrop. Whenever I need a release, it will be in your little whore pussy.” He voice was calm, smooth, as if his words weren’t deploring, deprecating. He grasped my by my hair to tilt my head so I could look up at him. “I always win, princessa. It took six years to take power from yur father but I can bet that it will take less time to break you.”

I struggled to get away from him put he pinned me as he got close to my face. “Don’t touch me,” I cried.

“You’re mine, Piccola and I will do whatever I want.” He inhaled my scent and then kissed my neck. “I can’t wait to make you submit.”

Yes, I was back in my nightmare.

Charles

Leaving my princess in her cell, I moved to the living room. My men were preparing for our departure from Camden. We need to leave before the King of Camden knows we are in his city. “How much longer?” I ask.

Sid answers, “five minutes, just waiting for the last car.” The plan is set.

“Excellent. Sid, get our Queen and put her in my car.” I fixed the cuffs of my suit and turned to Marco, my second. Are the preparations ready?

“Yes sir. The ceremony site is ready and we have Mrs. Giovanni’s dress for Amelia.”

“Perfect.” Once I married her, I was changing her name back. I fucking hate that name. Presley. She’s been my Amy, my Amelia, my Piccola, my queen. And I was going to demonstrate my power to the family.

Everett thinks he got the underhand on me yesterday. Showing old man Giovanni the supposed “proof” of my indiscretions was a step too far. All of those were willing participants. At least they were, once I fucked them hard enough to render them stupid. I made all of them sign NDAs after I had them. All except my cousins and Mrs. Barber. She had tasted the sweetest. Fucking Lloyd spoiled that taste for me.

Its been about four hours since Amelia was taken from the Everett compound and my phone buzzes. I smile because I know who it has to be. “Hello Mr. Everett.”

“You little fucking bastard!”

I laughed. "You told me twenty four hours. Well I did it in four. Look at that.”

“I will find you and I will get back my girl.”

“She was never yours,” I growl. “She has always been mine. Happy hunting, Mr. Everett.” I hung up on him and walked out to the cars. “Let’s go!”

Amelia is seated right next to me, holding herself as far away from me as possible. “You’ll enjoy being my Queen, Amelia.”

“Presley,” she whispers.

“I hate that name,” I growl. “We’ll change it as soon as possible.” My phone rings again and I smile. “Mario, what can I help you with?” I put the phone on speaker.

“Do you have my daughter?”

I hold the phone out towards her. She looked at me and I growl lowly to her. Her lips tremble before she answers. “Hi papa.”

“Lia.” I can see Amelia’s eyes begin to water. I knew that was her nickname she had when she was a child. It's something that she probably hadn’t heard in years. “Are you ok?” What the fuck is this question? The man has never cared for his child in the time I knew him.

She looks at me terrified and I nod for her to answer. “I’m ok.”

“Good. I will see you in a few hours, figlia.”

“Si, papa.” She looks away from the phone but I can see the tears running down her face.

“Everything alright Mario?” I could have sworn I heard something in his voice. He wasn’t usually affectionate with his daughter but then again its been six years since he’s seen her.

“Nothing, Blackwood. Just get her here.”

He hangs up and I turned back to Amelia. “I can’t wait for our wedding night, Piccola.” I run a hand up her leg. I wish she had been in a dress or skirt so I could feel the smooth skin I remembered. But she slaps my hand away.

“Do not touch me,” she seethes.

I won’t let this behavior continue. I grab her by her hair at the root and pull her head towards me. She cries out and as much as I love that sound, I need to ignore it. “You are mine Amelia. I can do whatever i want with you. Do you understand?” When she doesn’t answer, I yank harder. “Say it.”

She whimpers. “I’m yours.”

I kiss her hard. Finally, I have what has been mine for the last ten years.

Curtis

I’m pacing.

That call with Blackwood put me on my last nerve. Jake is tracking the necklace. She never takes it off. It subtle enough that no one things its worth anything. That’s why Presley liked it so much. But her ring, well her ring will be a show stopper. I want the world to know she is mine.

“She’s still stopped at the same location,” Jensen says. “Its still in Camden.”

“Sir, are you sure you don’t want to reach out to the King of Camden? He could have the house surrounded in an hour,” Clint asks.

“No, something like that could trigger them to hurt her.” I knew I could call Ari and have him help but this was my war. I do send him a message, as a courtesy.

Everett: Levinson, heads up, there is a situation happening in a house in Camden. We have a feeling it will move in the next hour but I wanted you to be aware. Levinson: Need help? Everett: not yet. I don’t want to risk her or your men. Levinson: Her? Your queen? You know our agreement is we help Everett: I know. I have an insider and they have advised to stand down for now. We’re tracking her. Levinson: You know Jennie and I would do anything if needed. Everett: I know. I’ll let you know.

I put down phone and resume my pacing. I need to get her back. the visual of my children asking for their momma hurts my chest so much, I actually rub at it. It feels like hours have passed but in reality its just been a few minutes. My phone rings. “Yes?”

“They are moving. To New Jersey.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll wait for you.” The line goes dead.

I face my team. “Jersey. Let’s get ready.” The men move to grab their gear but I see one person who is waiting. “Nat?”

“I’m coming with you.” The determination is set on her face.

“Natasha, that is not a good idea,” Clint starts to say but I stop him.

“Nat, are you sure? This will be dangerous and I don’t think Presley would want you to be in danger.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “Tell me you’re sure.”

“It was my job to get her to safety. I’m just finishing the job that Mrs. Giovanni gave me. Please, let me finish my work.”

I nodded. “It’s your right but you listen to either me or Clint.” She nodded. “Let’s move.”

I watched the blinking light on the monitor Jensen handed to me. Hang on Kitten, I’m coming for you.

Presley

A few hours later and I know I am back in hell.

Well, my own personal hell.

I’m back in my father’s house.

Charles escorts me into the house. It looks the same, as if time stood still. I looked around and saw the one thing that had changed. In the corner stood a painting of my mother and me. There were fresh flowers positioned around it. I took a step towards it to read the plaque.

Beloved Wife and Daughter

Forever In Our Hearts

He has got to be joking. I scoff at the painting and turn back and freeze.

“Lia.”

One word. Its one word that until today I hadn’t heard in years. Its a direct hit to my heart and it cracks.

“Papa.”

My father rushes and pulls me into his arms. I remember this type of hug. It’s the type of hug I missed after I left. After I had disappointed him. “Mi Bambina,” he cradles my face. “I wish you had disappeared figlia,” he whispered. I’m confused.

“I wish I had too.” A tear slides down my cheek and he brushes it away.

“Figlia, non aver paura. C'è un piano per farti uscire di qui. Ricorda solo tutto quello che ti ho insegnato.” (Daughter, don't be afraid. There is a plan to rescue you. Just remember everything I have taught you.)

The one downfall of Charles Blackwood is that he didn’t learn enough Italian. I’ve been fluent since I was five years old. My father has a plan. A plan to have me rescued.

“Si papa.” I look to Charles. “He said to take me to my room and wait for him there.”

“Fine.” Charles takes my arms and moves me up the stairs. “You know, I’m not stupid, Amelia. I know your father said something else to you.” We enter my room and he spins me to be pressed against the now closed door. He whole body seems to be covering me. “What did he say, Amelia? Don’t lie.”

I try to push him away but it’s useless. I slump against the door and look at him. He said this wasn’t part of the plan but that I earned it.

Charles smiles sinisterly. “This is the plan, baby. I’m getting what I was owed six years ago.” He tears at my shirt and i scream.

“Stop! Let go of me!” I swing my arms but then he grabs them and pins them over my head with one hand while the other roams my body.

“You’re so soft Piccola. And warm. Are you warm everywhere?” He undoes the button of my jeans and slides a hand in. “Oh yes, warm and wet.”

“I don’t want this, please stop,” I plead.

“No,” he says as he pushes a finger in. I squeal at the intrusion and its like he gets off on it. “So tight Piccola. Does Everett not please you enough? Is he just that small?” I shake my head but he stops it with a sharp thrust into my pussy and his palm buts my clit. I gasp and Charles chuckles. “So responsive.”

He starts to pump his fingers at an unrelenting pace. “Come for me Piccola. Scream out my name.”

“No!” I try to close my legs but he forces them open with his thigh. He’s fucking me with his fingers and my traitorous body begins to tingle. A soft moan escapes from the amount of pleasure he is giving me. I close my eyes and thing of Curtis. Curtis is doing this to me. Curtis loves me and loves to see my body break for him.

“That’s it, Piccola. Give in. Let me feel you break.” Charles curls his fingers and I shatter. I cry as my orgasm washes over me. He doesn’t stop. He works me through it until i collapse in his arms. Only then does he remove his hand. He takes his cum soaked fingers and licks them clean. “Delicious.” He pushes me so I’m on my knees, ripping away my clothes and takes me from behind. No matter how much I scream or cry, he is unrelenting until he finishes inside me. “I can’t wait until i can do that every night,” he tells me as he button ups. He yanks me towards the bed and I fall beside it. “Stay here until its time.” He exits and locks te door from the outside.

I curl up on the floor and cry. I cry for the humiliation, the degradation, the stolen pleasure.

I cry because now, I’m not sure Curtis will want me after Charles took what wasn’t his.

Curtis

Where half an hour from the Giovanni cmpound when I get a text.

MG: She’s here. Security is heavy.

I smirk as I read the message. Its amazing what people will do to right the past.

Fifteen minutes after the meeting ends....

“Everett, can I have a word?”

I looked at Mario Giovanni. “I thought we are done negotiating. Shouldn’t your successor be here?”

Mario looked around. “Please Curtis. For my daughter?”

That set off the alarm bells. “What about her?”

“Walk with me.” I walked out to his yard. “You know, this was Amelia’s favorite place. Her uncles and I had built her a play house for her princess parties.” I see a dilapidated wooden house that has ivy growing over it. “Many of my associates said I should get rid of it to remove the memory of my traitorous daughter. But no, its the only thing I have of her. Its also the only place where the camera and microphones can’t reach.”

My head whipped to him but he motioned to keep quiet. “The guards will give me a minute so pay attention.” I nodded. “You will receive a call in a few hours that my daughter will have been taken from your home. Charles will have someone take her and he will work to bring her back here. You need to go home and check on your family. I will ensure my daughter is safe.”

“Why would you allow it to happen?”

“Because he can’t be stopped. I will keep you updated on what is happening. Allow him to think you are chasing him. I will do my best to protect her.”

“Why now?”

“I will explain later but for now, know that I love my daughter very much.”

Present

As we assemble down the street, Jensen pulls up a map of the house that Mario had provided. “According to our insider, there are guards on every landing on each staircase. We need to send in someone in to distract. The problem is, we don’t know where Blackwood, Giovanni or any other guards are or stationed.”

“Giovanni is in his garden,” I said, unblinking. “We only have to contend with Blackwood and his minions.”

My team looks at me before Clint clears his throat. “We can access the attic if we are quick on the side,” he points. “Coming from up top gives us an advantage.”

“I’ll do it,” Natasha volunteered.

“No,” I reply. “I need you to be the eyes for us since you know the house. We’ll send Johnny up.” I looked at the man, Johnny Storm. “Think you can handle that kid?”

“No problem. I’ll cause a diversion.”

“Get into places,” I tell them. I look at Natasha. “Are you sure?”

“I owe her and her mom to get her back alive.” Natasha pulled her red curls into a pony tail.

“Just watch yourself,” I said and kiss her forehead. “You’ll be in alone for a bit to scope. I’ll be thirty seconds behind you.”

Natasha nods. “If anything happens, the combination to the lock box in my room is 12-03-19-84.”

“Nat, if...”

“This is the life I chose when I joined the Giovanni family. This is just a precaution. I plan on coming back and marrying Adam.”

My gut is telling me this is a bad idea but I just nod and she gears up. My coms crackle and I hear Johnny, “Flame on.” Smoke billows from the side of the house before I hear him again. “I’m on the roof.”

“Ok, Nat, you’re up.” She moved but I stopped her. “Please be careful.”

“Take care of our girl ok?” Nat smiles. “See you in a minute.” She enters the house and I send a prayer.

I’m listening to comms as different people enter the house at different points. “Breaching the attic,” I hear Storm say. I can hear thumps as people hit the ground. Clint taps me on the back and we move into the house. Each area is clear as I see a couple of Blackwood’s goons on the floor. “Natasha,” I whisper. “Where are you?” Silence greets me and I look at Clint.

“May be she got bogged down, he replies. I have the layout. Presley’s old room was on the third floor to the left. I think she may be there.”

“Ok, let’s move.” We move through the staircase, checking bodies as we go. We get to the mid-landing between the second floor and the third floor and I see a shock of red hair under another body. “No!” I pull the goon off of Natasha and her eyes are closed, two bullet wounds across her chest, blood trickling from her wounds. “Nat!”

“Sir, we have to move,” Clint says. “I’ll call someone to get her. We won’t leave her. We need to get to our queen.”

There is water in my eyes. Presley's best friend is gone and she may never forgives me for this. I wipe at my eyes and then hear a blood-curdling scream. Its my girl, my Kitten, my queen.

My Presley.

I charge up the stairs and follow her screams. I kick in the door and see Charles holding Presley, using her as a human shield, a gun to her head. “Let her go, Blackwood,” I growl.

He just laughs. “Who do you think has the upper hand here? I know its not you.”

“Kitten, are you okay?” She nods but squeaks when Charles tightens his grip. “Stop!”

“Never. She is mine.” He turns his face towards her and sniffs her hair before kissing her cheek. “Hmm, she smells good enough to eat.” His sinister smile tuns back to me. “Now, drop your weapon and step back out. Another move towards us and I will cut her.”

“Ok, ok.” I dropped my gun and kicked it towards them. I raised my hands and move towards to the door. “I love you Kitten.”

“I love you,” she rasped.

“How very touching,” Charles sneered. “Now...” before he could finish the sentence, Presley elbowed him, causing him to drop the knife. I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me.

“Curtis!” She wrapped around me. I kissed her head, thankful she was ok.

“Go, Clint is on the stairwell.” I spun us around, my back to the room. “I’m sorry Kitten but I need you to run.”

Presley’s eyes widen.“Curtis look out!”

I turned back and that when I felt the knife slide into my gut, my eyes now on the face of the deranged man holding it

Presley

I watched in horror as Charles stuck the knife into Curtis. I screamed and Charles pulled the knife back out.

“Look at what you made me do, Piccola. I ruined my shirt.” He laughed as Curtis fell to his knees and then his back, holding on to the wound. Charles just laughed and laughed, like the psychotic animal that he is. I feel to my knees and put pressure on the wound.

“Hang on baby, just hang on. Clint!” I screamed as Charles began to wipe the tears of laughter from his face, smearing Curtis’s blood on himself.

“You sound like you want to save him, Amelia. Why? You’re mine.” He was starting to make sense again and I knew my time was limited. I saw Curtis’s gun on the floor. I grabbed it and stood up, pointing it at him “What are you going to do, Amelia? Shoot me?”

“I could. Or I could send you away for a long time.” I griped the gun tighter, trying not to end this so fast.

“Do you even know how to use that, Amelia? Hmm, I bet you are so scared right now. Hand me the gun Amelia. Be a good girl.” He reached for it and I took a step back.

“It's funny you think that I don’t know how to use this, Charles. I’m a mafia princess. My father and my uncles have been teaching me about guns since I was five years old. The most dangerous person in this room is me.” I cocked the gun back and pointed the gun back at Charles.

“You’re too sweet, too innocent to murder me Amelia. You really want to live with that sin on your conscience?” He mocked me.

“For the last fucking time, my name is Presley.”

Every seen a bullet hit a skull? It has an interesting effect, especially as close range. Rather gross.

Charles head snapped back and he was dead before he hit the ground. I dropped the gun and went back to Curtis. “Hang on baby, ok, someone is coming to help ok?”

Curtis looked up at me and smiled, blood already coating his teeth. “I’m happy I got to see you again, Kitten,” he labored. “Will miss you.”

“No, don’t say that, Curtis. You promised to marry me, you promised we could make babies, to make siblings for Joshie and Evie,” I sob. “Clint! Please, someone help!!”

Curtis reaches up to cup my face. “I love you. Tell them I love them too. Take care of them.”

“I love you too, but please. No! Curtis, no! Please don’t leave me! Curtis, don’t close your eyes!”

I don’t feel the mass of people that rush into the room to help him. All I can see are his eyes closing for the last time.

“Curtis!”

Epilogue

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spookyserenades · 2 months

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Bestie you did nottttttt leave us off like that 😭 I knew it had to be either Seokjin or Hoseok to confess to her first! I was worried that Jin would push OC away and stay distant for a while but i’m glad thats not the case. Speaking of Jin that little moment when he was texting with OC and sent her those emojis and said the cat was him was so cute I love him! Also same thing with Tae after the near kiss incident I was so sure he’d completely avoid her and tbh idk if i’m buying the i don’t remember what happened story but i’m hoping he’s telling the truth bc i cannot handle it when the hybrids distance themselves 😭

On a lighter note I will never not laugh any time Hoseok calls Jungkook and Namjoon the ghostbusters he’s such a brat lmao! I love seeing their dynamics unfold more any time we get more paranormal action. I’m curious to see what’s been haunting the Sanders family! I was thinking about how each kid must be absolutely enamored by the hybrids. For Julie it’s Jk like imagine ur mom brings some paranormal investigation group and this tall, handsome, tatted up, and pierced guy shows up to your house??? I’d come out of my room too 💀 and how Ms Sanders said her son loves wolves and how he was looking at Namjoon all starry eyed is so sweet! I can definitely see them way more open to the investigation and discussing their own experiences based on their reactions to the boys alone. It just goes to show how truly important each of the 3 members of the group are.

Ok and let me get into the smut real quick bc i simply cannot help myself. I swear Yoongi makes me want to chew on the table as well 😂 That soft dom energy he was is insane! I give so much credit to OC for not jumping his bones any time he walks into the room. Got me giggling and kicking my feet fr.

There’s so many more moments i’m sure but my little squirrel brain cannot remember them all. I swear i need to start taking notes reporting back 😂 it’s only instances like these I think I prefer wattpad’s design bc imagine how fun it would be to be able to comment on specific paragraphs in that moment. So even if i can’t recall every single moment I love, that made me smile, laugh, want to throw my phone across the room, or chew on tables at the top of my head please know that I enjoy all the little moments in each chapter and your writing is never unappreciated 🥲🫶🏻

fkjalsfjesa I'm sorry bestie!!! Luckily in the next update we pick up right were we left off with Seokjin eeeee 🥺 Seokjin was a little distant, at first, when he found out about Y/N and Yoongi, but mostly because he thought he'd never get to be with her romantically. I think after the cooking class, he just couldn't hold back his feelings anymore! AH the emojis he used 😭 he's such a cutie, just a big kitty!

Ah poor Tae blacked out... def doesn't remember the near-kiss. If he did, I'm sure he'd avoid Y/N like the plague out of embarrassment or shame :( I think he'll take some time to get comfortable with the shifting dynamics, but he's really attached to Y/N, so I don't see him icing her out for too too long.

HA I love that Hoseok is the resident skeptic. Even though he witnessed that ghost in the house, he still doesn't really get it like Namjoon and Jeongguk. Speaking of them, they've struck up an unlikely friendship with their team! I'm super excited to write their investigation scene, and find out what's haunting the family 😉 YESS you're right the two kids took a liking to each of them but gkdalgj YOURE SO RIGHT I'D LEAVE MY ROOM FOR GOTH JEONGGUK TOO. I just I'm so !!! pumped to explore this part of the plot with the 3 of them, I think it will help those two hybrids to get closer to Y/N, since they're the less affectionate, clingy ones.

OOF the smut! I'm being soooo honest I need Yoongi biblically. I'm really glad that you're chewing on the table with me,,,, I have SUCH a thing for soft doms and Yoongi definitely radiates that sooo much. Also fr I'd be in his room NIGHTLY waiting for all of that 💀

LMAOO NOT THE SQUIRREL BRAIN BESTIE!!! As for the Wattpad thought, I've been adding the chapters there and eventually when it's all caught up the monthly updates will go up there too, so if you wanna comment on specific things that might be easier 💜

I love love you!! Thank you so much for being so sweet and kind to me, and for reading Trouvaille, supporting me! Your feedback means so much, and I'm sending you one million hugs 💜💜💜

#trouvaille #asks #dana's thoughts

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betterbooktitles · 3 months

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Standing in a kitchen in Vermont, I spun the wheel on my black iPod and pressed down the fat, metallic button to select The Beatles’ Revolver from my long list of albums. “Taxman” came through the living room speakers. NPR had been echoing through the house for days in the TV-less room. The song’s opening guitar riff felt like watching fireworks.

My girlfriend’s dad, taking a break from DIY weatherproofing his home, a large open-concept cabin heated by a single wood-burning stove, said the words that always make me jealous: “I remember the day this came out.”

He had run home from the record store after school with the album in tow, sat alone in his bedroom, and along with a bunch of kids his age in their respective rooms, heard Revolver for the first time.

“Wow. What a day.” He said wistfully.

“I remember it too.” My girlfriend said and tried to join in the reminiscing.

Her dad raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

“You mean you remember the first time you heard it?” I asked.

“No I-” and her forehead wrinkled, and in her acid-addled brain, she tried to sort out for maybe 30 seconds how it was possible that she wasn’t alive in 1966 nor had she genetically inherited a memory from her parents of hearing Revolver the day it came out. “Yeah, I meant I can remember hearing it in this room for the first time, I guess.”

We listened to the rest of the album in classic Vermont style. That is, talking about how good the music is over the music you are currently listening to.

I don’t begrudge anyone wishing so hard they had been somewhere when they weren’t that they form an imaginary memory for something they never experienced. Only about 450,000 people were at Woodstock but millions claim they were there. Gen Z kids have mall nostalgia thanks to shows like Stranger Things showing them what a mall once was through rose-tinted glasses. I felt it most recently when my dad described using a reel-to-reel at the library and recording tapes of new albums before anyone else could borrow them.

As jealous as I feel toward every boomer or Gen Xer whose day revolved around getting out of school, buying a record, and hearing the needle drop the same day everyone else did, I know there is no equivalent for music for me, even though I can remember having nearly the same experiences with the radio and CDs. For instance, I remember our neighbor Kristen walking over to meet me and a big group of neighborhood kids at sunset one summer evening on our tree lawn (Cleveland suburbs term, the strip of grass between the street and the sidewalk outside your actual lawn that was technically the town’s responsibility but you still mowed). She had brought her battery-powered black boombox and (I swear) The Cranberries’ “Dreams” was playing. In my mind, I can see the final crane shot of a movie set in the 90s, the credits rolling as Dolores O’Riordan softly sings “Oh, my life…” It was the first of a million times I heard the song. This image is so on the nose, I can’t tell if it’s a real memory or a false one that’s been implanted in my brain like a replicant in Blade Runner.

Another music memory is attached to Kristen. A group of us were playing rummy in her basement, complete with an unused bar, the side of which was made of those thick borderline-opaque glass cubes. A light from behind behind the glass cast a greenish hue on the linoleum floor. I stared at it while she turned up a radio that looked like it was made in the ‘70s and said “I love this song!” She forced us all to pause the game and hear the 70s-style guitar tone of a 90s song complaining about “what the hell happened to the peace and love we knew so well in the 60s?” I was hearing a pre-Shrek-soundtrack Smash Mouth. I was spellbound. Surely, that was my ‘90s version of hearing Revolver the day it came out.

I have been forcing a feeling of nostalgia for times in which I did not exist my whole life, likely because the 60s/70s weren’t all that different from the 90s. Chuck Klosterman in his book The Nineties explores the topic in a chapter about That 70s Show:

“The kids on That ’70s Show hung out in basements and killed time by driving the family car around in circles, but those pastimes were not bygone pursuits—teenagers in the nineties were still hanging out in basements and still aimlessly cruising around. This was not some portal into an alien unknown. That ’70s Show could have instantly been remade as That ’80s Show or That ’90s Show if the references were changed and the fashions were updated. The characters and the conflicts were not entrenched in the seventies but ubiquitous to the entire last quarter of the twentieth century.” -Klosterman, Chuck. The Nineties (p. 105). Penguin Publishing Group.

Klosterman is correct. The gap between my generation and my parents’ seems smaller than the one that exists between mine and a generation born after the iPhone, but I’ve always felt there was one big separation, one my parents’ generation never understood. I could pretend that sitting in the basement practicing drum solos and driving around town was as fun as it seemed on That 70s Show, but there was something else that haunted every hour of my adolescence and now pervades my adulthood. I could act like I’ve always been hip and young enough to understand each social media app as they entered the world, that the defining feature of my existence was LiveJournal, then Myspace, then Facebook…but no. The media that defines my life (besides 24-hour cable news incessantly reporting on terrorism and school shootings) is video games.

Read the rest here

#writing #reading #essay #lit #personal essay #gaming #video games #final fantasy #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #addiction #funny #memoir #better book titles #literature #books #dan wilbur

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gamerdog1 · 5 months

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Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix Review

Its time to talk about crossovers. It seems that everywhere you look these days, big media conglomerates have been rushing out crossovers left and right, hoping to make a quick buck off of the nostalgic masses. To them, its easy money: put two or more popular things together, and people will come with wallets in hand. It doesn't even have to make sense; Fortnite gets away with slapping whatever popular characters they want in the game, because they know kids all across the world will steal their mommies' credit cards to get them.

But why all the crossover hate? Some of the most exciting and beloved pieces of media in recent decades have been crossovers, in one way or another. Wreck-It Ralph (2012) had Zangief from Street Fighter, Pac-Man, Bowser, and Doctor Eggman, along with dozens of other video-game characters, and none of it felt forced or contrived. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) was the first time Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse appeared in the same scene, and it too, doesn't feel forced. Super Smash Bros., a game series which, under any other circumstances, would be seen as pandering, is one of the highest selling Nintendo franchises of all times, and continues to be an important part of the fighting game community.

Perhaps, then, what makes a crossover film, show, or game, high quality is what it does with itself. Anyone can put a bunch of famous characters in a scene, but what comes next? You've got a bunch of household names in a room together, so what? Pulling off a successful crossover isn't easy, but one thing's for sure: you better sell it quick, and sell it well.

Netflix, for all its ups and downs, sure knows how to sell a crossover. Last year, they lovingly gave us Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix, an animated series that features famous Ubisoft game characters in a dystopian cyberpunk future. Most people, like, me, got excited at hear the premise alone. A crossover with all our favorite game characters, helmed by showrunner behind Castlevania (2017) and the upcoming Devil May Cry series, seemed like a sure bet for some fast animation and punchy violence. Little did we know that behind the neon lights and blood splatters, was an important discussion about media's role in a oligarchic society.

CL:BDR follows Dolph Laserhawk, an ex-military cyborg who fights the governing technocracy with his boyfriend, Alex. Betrayed and left for dead, Laserhawk is enlisted in a covert team designed to take down the government through espionage. Along the way, Laserhawk grapples with his own conflicting feelings, as we learn more about how terrible life has become for everyone.

In the show, the United States has been taken over by a company called Eden, which rules through propaganda and heavy policing. Beneath the shiny veneer of peace and unity that peppy TV show hosts provide, lies a city where poverty is rampant, and anthropomorphic animals are treated as sub-human. Its a harsh reality, contrasted wonderfully by the cutesy, childish propaganda was seen on TVs throughout the show. We see a cute character sing about how we should thank all the 'hybrids' in our neighborhood for all the work they do, then smash-cut to a factory where those same 'hybrids' are forced to produce snake venom for hours without rest.

Eden is run through propaganda, which bleeds into every aspect of life for it's people. Buildings all across cities are branded with the company's name and logo, as blimps displaying the news hover above. Popular television star Rayman (from the self-titled games) gives both the nightly news, but runs the children's network too, ensuring that there's no escape from the government mouthpiece. In a world where major brands have begun to dominate the market more and more, its stuff like this that seems less fictional, and more like a warning.

In that regard, CL:BDR is an excellent piece of cyberpunk. After the Netflix anime, and recent game (of dubious quality), it feels as though most people see cyberpunk simply as another aesthetic. A flashy, edgy coat of paint to throw on when the sci-fi story need a little oomph. It saddens me to see that we're losing sight of the important of cyberpunk, but at least with this show, I can rest easy knowing they got the memo.

Still, for what its worth, the aesthetics are on point too. The show is full of lots of sharp, jagged lines, and angular shading, complimenting its fast action sequences and sometimes complex character designs. Night shots are dense, full of geometric buildings with lights littered like smaller suns, casting colored shadows. Its everything you'd expect out of an anime (or anime inspired) cyberpunk show.

What makes CL:BDR more than just a run-of-the-mill gritty animated series is how it leans into its video game-ness. Like Bocchi the Rock (2022), CL:BDR experiments with different animation styles, playing around with its visuals to achieve different effects. One episode has Laserhawk and his mysterious boss wandering through a virtual world, created by one of the last survivors of the wasteland beyond the city. Inside, both characters appear as their voice actors, pixelated like an old FMV game, yet the world around them is animated like normal. When under stress, the characters flip back and forth between pixilation and chunky polygons, as if going through the eras of gaming technology before our eyes.

Unlike early video game adaptations, CL:BDR is unafraid to be based on video games, celebrating past games instead of trying to 'class' them up for a wider audience. Nearly the entire main cast are taken from video games, and tweaked slightly to fit the story in ways that feel normal for them. Older gamers will get a kick out of seeing familiar faces, but for younger folks like me, the characters are written in a way that doesn't rely on viewers to have prior knowledge of them. You could watch this show without having played any Ubisoft games and still enjoy it.

If not for the game references, watch this show for the characters. Laserhawk himself is a deeply fascinating character, who struggles between his sense of justice, a drive for revenge, and feelings for someone he knows he can't trust. In any other show he'd be another gun-waving edgelord, but CL:BDR clearly cares about him, and works hard to get you to care about him too.

Bullfrog is another good character, who, if not for Laserhawk, I'd call my favorite. There's just something comedic about having a trained assassin from an ancient brotherhood be a chipper, cute anthropomorphic frog. In a show where everyone is gritty and serious, Bullfrog keeps scenes from getting too dark, drops a few jokes here and there, and is one of the nicest ones there.

Out of all the characters in this show, though, none are more surprising than Rayman. After years without a new game, and being ignored by Ubisoft in favor of the Rabbids, Rayman finally has his time to shine here, but in the most horrible, wonderful kind of way. Rayman's arc, going from corporate shill to full-blown terrorist, is given a surprising amount of time and focus, and by the end of the show, you really feel bad for him.

CL:BDR, at the end of the day, is a cyberpunk series for gamers, sci-fi fans, animation fans, or really any adults with access to it. Watching this show, I hadn't been this excited to see what comes next in a while, especially given Netflix's feast-or-famine adult animation library. I doubt it'll get a second season, but if it does, I'll be watching it the day it comes out, excited to see what this studio has cooking up next. If it has as much queer rep. as this show does, we're in for a treat.

#film critic #review #netflix #animation #animated series #show review #captain laserhawk

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fruitcoops · 2 years

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Ugh ugh ugh so i have a roommate and we are really close friends which is a amazing. she’s been sick for about two weeks now and it sort of goes in and out: it’ll be ok for a few days and then get kind of sucky. The last two days she’s not been feeling well so I’ve been cooking for her and trying to get her to take naps and stuff but she has this really horrid sounding cough? And this is way to much information but here’s the kicker: I’m not sure if I’ve developed a crush? Either way I just really want her to feel better and I want to just cuddle her and rub her back and stuff but I don’t want it to be weird in case I do have a crush?? ANYWAY point is I was hoping that if you have a sec and the inspiration strikes that you’d write some o’knutzy or coops suck cuddles. It’s nothing life threatening just y’know feeling gross and the other(s) trying their best to help. Also if you don’t feel like writing that you can just revel in the silly silly story and the image of coops and o’knutzy cuddles, which are always happy :)))) -lilo

Fic O'Ween Day 10 & 11: Scary Movie & Costumes! Combining these two into one because Halloweekend is busy : ) Lilo, I don't know the whole context here, but it sounds like this is less of a crush and more that you want to take care of someone you care about. If the feelings keep Feeling after she's better, then that might be a crush (feel free to ignore if that's not true). Character credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW illness (cough, stuffy nose), mention of throwing up (not described)

“You c’n go without me,” came a mumble from the pile of soft things on the couch. A sniffle followed. “I don’t mind.”

Leo sighed, easing himself into the space left over with a rub to the nearest socked foot. One sad, glassy eye peeked out from the depths of his own hoodie. “Harz…”

“S’okay, really,” Finn continued. “The party’ll be fun. I’ll be okay here.”

“We’re not leaving you alone like this.”

“I’m a big kid, I can—” A squeaky yawn interrupted him. “—handle it.”

“You don’t have to, though,” Leo said gently. They had been at it all afternoon, neither he nor Logan able to talk sense into a groggy and unhappy Finn. It had taken them long enough to lovingly bully him into letting them help once he realized he couldn’t get out of bed without wobbling—a headache had followed, then sniffles and a nasty cough, and by noon he finally gave in. The couch had been designated the ‘Sick Zone’. Finn alternated between naps and looking pathetic for the next six hours.

He fumbled for a tissue and blew his nose; Leo didn’t miss the wince that twitched at his shoulders and made a mental note to herd him into a hot shower as soon as possible. “I’m not exactly exciting right now.”

“And?”

“And so you should go to the—”

“No, Finn.”

“Go to the party!” he insisted, taking Leo’s hand in one of his clammy ones. “I promise I’ll be fine. You don’t have to sit here and worry over me when everyone else is having fun. They’ll miss you, Le.”

“And we would miss you.” Leo squeezed his hand. It felt warmer than before—too warm. He pushed down his worry and ran a thumb over the shadows beneath Finn’s eye. “I like you even when you’re not exciting, cher.”

The front door opened with a creak and they both looked up as Logan entered with an armful of grocery bags. His nose wrinkled. “Who closed the window? It’s—étouffant, you’ll stay sick if you don’t get air in here.”

“Finn was cold.” Leo leaned up for a kiss when Logan passed and saw him soften, looking between them on the couch. He made a small noise of agreement into Leo’s lips, then moved over to brush Finn’s hair off his forehead and leave a kiss in its wake.

“You’re hot, mon rouge.”

Finn cracked a smile. “Always am.”

Logan tsked at him, but the pass of his hand over the back of Finn’s head was gentle when he moved back to the kitchen. “I got your vegetables, Knutty, but I wasn’t sure what makes a medium onion different than regular ones.”

Leo blinked. “Are they…medium-sized?”

“That’s what I’m saying, I don’t know.” Several things clattered before Logan reappeared with two onions. “Is this medium? There were bigger ones and smaller ones.”

“How many onions did you buy?”

“Twelve.”

Leo laughed and started to get up, then paused and tucked Finn tighter under the blanket. “Don’t move.”

Finn gave him a rueful smile. “Can’t.”

“Shift change,” Leo teased, taking the onions from Logan.

A tug at his elbow stopped him just before he turned into the kitchen. “How long has he been that warm?” Logan asked, so quiet Leo could hardly hear him.

His heart sank. “Not sure. He wasn’t like that when you left, so I’d guess ten to fifteen minutes.”

Logan frowned. “Is he still talking bullshit about us going to the Halloween party?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty out of it, though.” Leo touched the fine bones of his wrist and smiled. “Thanks for going to the store, baby.”

Some of Logan’s worry lifted away into a pleased blush. “De rien, mon amour. Your food is always worth it.”

By 8 pm, Leo’s flu suspicions were confirmed in everything but a clinical diagnosis. Finn had given up on trying to convince them to have fun without him, laying his head in Logan’s lap or curling up tight against Leo’s ribs despite his feverish forehead. He dozed until dinner, managed to keep down a bowl of soup, and mustered just enough energy to argue with Logan as the evening’s entertainment.

I’m not going to throw up.

You look like you are.

No.

Just do it, you’ll feel better.

I would rather die.

He slept for 45 minutes to recover from such a harrowing conversation and did not—much to Logan’s annoyance—do the one thing that would make him feel better faster. Finn’s stubbornness, while rare, was damn near impossible to overcome. Leo was just grateful he took a hot shower with little cajoling, even if it meant he looked like the world’s cutest boiled lobster on the other side of it. The sides of his nose were starting to chap from the tissues. Better to nip that in the bud than deal with it for the next week and a half.

Finally, they settled on the couch and let the sounds of the TV fill the apartment. Leo could hear Finn breathing softly through his mouth while Logan combed his fingers through mostly-dry hair and rubbed Finn’s back at the same time. He pulled the edge of the blanket down over Finn’s feet and relaxed into the couch, exhausted. “Dumo sends well-wishes, by the way. Celeste wants to bring over some soup tomorrow.”

Finn made a quiet sound of acknowledgement; Logan cast him a smile that made Leo’s heart warm, reaching over to squeeze his arm. “Merci.”

“Boys?”

Leo’s sleepiness vanished in an instant and he sat up straighter, bending slightly to see Finn’s flushed face. “Hey, sweetheart, do you need something?”

He shook his head and shrugged the blanket up over his shoulder. “Can we—can we watch a scary movie?”

Leo looked over to Logan, whose face had fallen into something like distress. He raised a brow; Logan hesitated, then nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, ‘course we can,” Leo said. “Which one?”

“Don’t care.” One hand appeared to pat Logan’s knee. “You don’t have to stay for it. I know you don’t like them.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Logan promised with a kiss to the shell of Finn’s ear. “What kind of boyfriend would I be, eh? Leaving you when you’re sick. It hasn’t happened before and it won’t happen now.”

The faint sound of chaste kisses filled the background while Leo scrolled through the ‘Horror’ section. If he guessed correctly, Finn would be out cold in less than twenty minutes, and then they could change the show to something that wouldn’t petrify Logan for the next month. He didn’t have much of an opinion on scary movies, but that was one of the trials nobody warned him about when he got two boyfriends: movie night was like a judicial negotiation.

“Thank you for staying.” Finn’s voice was nearly inaudible against the opening music. “Both of you. This isn’t how you planned on spending the night, and you worked really hard to put together our costumes, so. You know. Thanks. And sorry.”

“Finn,” they chorused with equal degrees of heartbreak.

Leo pulled on the hem of his pajama pants until Finn looked back at him, altogether too drowsy and adorable for his own good. “If we had gone to that party, we’d spend the whole night worried about you because we care that you’re safe and healthy. Getting you Gatorade and making soup is what I wanted to do. It’s what we get to do for you, now.”

Finn still didn’t look convinced, but Logan moved his hand around to tip his chin up. “It’s not because you can’t take care of yourself,” he said quietly. “It’s because you don’t have to.”

It was a good thing Logan had guided Finn’s gaze away; Leo wasn’t sure he could have handled seeing whatever expression came across his face at that. The caving of Finn’s chest and the full-body tremor that went through him was enough to make his breath catch. “I know,” Finn rasped after a few moments. “God, sorry, I—yeah, I know. I’m working on it.”

“We know.” Leo folded a hand over his ankle, just for a point of contact. “I mean, yeah, I wish we could’ve gone because you’d look hot as Ferris Bueller and I desperately want to see Lo in a fringed jacket someday. But I’m not sad about staying in and watching movies, either. This is fun. Spending time with you two is what I want.”

Finn took a tissue from Logan and blew his nose with a miserable honk. “You never have been good at picking one or the other, huh?”

“Not once,” he laughed.

“Worked pretty well, though,” Logan noted. “I’m not complaining.”

“Choices are for chumps,” Finn agreed. It was good to see him smile. The moment was only ruined a little by a sudden, violent axe-murder occurring on the television—Leo counted them lucky that Logan didn’t launch their sick boyfriend off his lap with the force of his flinch.

“Can we please just watch Halloweentown?” he begged, clutching Finn’s shoulder and arm while Finn cackled himself into a coughing fit. “Or Casper? I’ll put up with Beetlejuice, I don’t care.”

“How about The Exorcist?” Finn suggested.

“I was thinking The Conjuring,” Leo added.

A flush rose to Logan’s cheeks and he leaned over to whack Leo on the arm with a pillow. “See if I ever buy you onions again, you ungrateful, evil, horrible—”

#leo knut #finn ohara #logan tremblay #cubs #oknutzy #lumosinlove #coast to coast #sweater weather #my fic #fanfic #fic o'ween 2022 #noot fest #sickfic #finn appreciated yourself challenge 2k22 #cuddles #hurt/ comfort #fluff #scary movies

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couldyouspeakmyname · 2 years

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How would shishigumi react if their partner was pregnant?

Sure!

Bonus: Chief Lion

Similar, but more angsty ask here

They're sort of short, so if you want more headcanons feel free to request again once my asks are open!

-Maeve

Ibuki

He would freeze, and ask if you're sure

When you assure him that yes, you're sure, Ibuki's eyes get watery

Ibuki is so happy, he can't even speak. Sure, he's also very worried given his line of work, but he can think about that later

He's going to be a father and have a real family, a family that loves and accepts him

What more could he ask for?

So happy he's in tears

Free

Terrified. Full stop, he freezes and feels a wave of cold wash over him

He's not going to take it well. He's not built to be a father (according to him) and hearing you say that is way more terrifying than anything he's had to face in the gang

He says you're wrong, and that you're lying. He's not trying to hurt you, but he's panicking and doesn't know how to take it.

It's best to leave him alone for a while, while he comes to terms with it.

He WILL come around, and get excited, but it'll take a bit of time

Dolph

He pauses whatever he's doing, and looks at you

For once, he's stunned and unsure.

"You wanna keep it?"

He's not celebrating until he knows for sure what you want and what you're comfortable with

Either way, he'll be very supportive

He's concerned, but he'll figure it out somehow

Agata

Very shocked.

After the shock, comes nerves

Agata grew up in a home that was...less than ideal. He's terrified not of you having a kid, but of history repeating itself

After his nerves calm down, he will be excited, he just takes a bit longer to get there

Dope

"Ah...I see"

Excuse him while he abuses zoogle and starts his research

Subsequently, terrifying himself at all the things that can go wrong

He will be supportive, if not a bit overbearing

He's read it online, so he knows things

You will have to tell him to turn it down

Jinma

Jinma actually knew. He heard from a few of his contacts that you'd been acting strangely

"Oh, I know," He proceeds to pull out pamphlets and information

He's already been reading up and come to terms with it.

You're in good hands with Jinma ❤️

Sabu

"Oh...I already knew"

Of course he did

Sabu has a killer intuition, and was just waiting for you to tell him yourself.

He already has baby books for you to read and a doctor's card picked out he heard was good.

"Anything you need, let me know"

Miguel

Freezes, then he grins

Miguel is the one who will pick you up, spin you around while laughing

He's a bit nervous because of being a gangster, but he's ready to protect you and your future child with his life.

Expect him to cook lots of healthy meals for the three of you

Hino

Hino is actually very nervous about it.

Hino...doesn't share well, and having anything that threatens the attention you give him makes him upset

Him potentially being a father is sort of the second thing he thinks about

Hino is a bit slow to come around, but he will

Chief Lion

"...Why did it take you so long to tell me? I found out last week"

Is he happy? Is he upset? He's so stoic, it's hard to tell

How did he find out anyway?

Turns out, Chief already has a doctor set up and hands you a credit card for "any essentials you may need"

While he's not outwardly excited, he's not against it.

Side note: Once you get an ultrasound, all the emotions will come to a head and he will be OVER PROTECTIVE and overbearing.

If he was scary before, he's terrifying now to anyone who dares to give you a look.

It's safer if they don't look at you tbh

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al-melon · 7 months

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JUST GOT BACK FROM THE FNAF MOVIE

SPOILERS AND SCREAMING UNDER THE CUT

FIRST OF ALL i just wanna take a second to say the absolute JOY and UNFILTERED SEROTONIN i felt when the living tombstone's fnaf 1 song started playing during the credits is a high i will ride for the rest of my life. let ALONE the fact that almost everyone in the theater immediately started singing along. everyone in that theater i love you.

second of all i cannot fucking believe scott had the fucking AUDACITY to JUMPSCARE us with BALLOON BOY of ALL fucking wretched little bitches. not once, not twice, THREE FUCKING TIMES.

so angry. well played, scott.

i was so happy we got brief cameos from matpat AND coryxkenshin! i was so happy for cory especially. was really hoping for a dawko cameo too, but hopefully we'll get one next time!

i also wanna mention that i never would've guessed that we'd get a scene of the animatronics behaving like kids!!! it was SO cute to see them play with abby and be silly, i never knew i needed that so badly until now. i'm not joking, literally half of my theater went "awwwww..." when abby drew the heart and gave it to bonnie, and then bonnie turned to show it to the others 🥺 i wanna hug them all so badly now... they're so CUTE. they're my babies now if mike won't go back I WILL

i'm sure this makes me a terrible person, but one of the things i was hoping so desperately for was that we would get to WATCH WILLIAM DIE, and i am SO happy that they made it as brutal and painful as possible. the satisfaction i felt as the animatronics dragged a squirming, slowly dying william away to suffer and the kids getting their revenge was worth the 8 year wait. i also now understand why matthew lillard was like "can we even show this" LMAO that shit was brutal and i'm almost shocked they kept it in while keeping a pg-13 rating.

i love that they kept foxy singing to himself, and i KNEW the second that dude stepped into the closet bonnie would be there and i was ECSTATIC when he flipped on the light and i was right. predictable sure but who cares honestly, it was amazing!

i also can't believe sparky really WAS in parts and service. i'm so fucking done with you, scott. fucking sparky. at least i ASSUME that's who the dog character was, unless it was a reference to fetch, which would be way less cool.

will say i was fucking THROWN by vanessa being william's daughter. um scuse me? what about elizabeth? is she not canon to the movies? guess we'll find out lol. i was also really hoping we would've at least gotten a HINT of the puppet, but i guess the puppet being in the fnaf 1 location the whole time really wouldn't work in this scenario. seeing as she was supposed to be the only one truly aware, it definitely wouldn't have worked as well. hope we see her next time!

overall i give the movie a 9.5/10! my only complaint is i feel like there wasn't QUITE enough scary stuff. another ten or so minutes of horror would've done wonders, i think. this is a day one dvd buy for sure! can't wait to see what extra features the dvd will come with, and i hope it comes with commentary <3

#APOLOGIES FOR LONG #excessive swearing sorry im excited #melon speaks #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers #genuinely the animatronics were SO CUTE #i'm a little sad we never got to see foxy walk with like. a full body shot u know?#like it was always from the knee down or the chest up when foxy was on screen and walking #i know it's probably because they most likely would have had to create an entirely seperate foxy that could be puppeteered around #which would have been Expensive Probably. but im allowed to be sad #will also say that i dont think i heard the toreador march ONCE in the whole movie. i was sad #also i cannot believe how VICIOUS the chica's cupcake was. get those bastards carl #idc that chica's cupcake's official name is mr. cupcake btw. he will always be carl to me #scott PLEASE can the dvd have commentary? 🥺 i love commentary 🥺#ok sorry rant over byeeeee

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chalterdh22 · 7 months

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Chapter 53: Is This the End?

This is the final chapter of this story. I truly love these characters and will hopefully continue writing adventures for them. Thanks for everyone that stayed with this story! This is the way!

We went to talk to the Armorer. After explaining what we wanted, she asked Din to remove his helmet for her, so she could look upon his face as a new man. She seemed quite pleased with our decision and helped us settle into our new quarters.

Grogu also seemed excited, although we weren’t sure he fully understood everything. But for him, life was a rollercoaster, so most things were fun to him.

I let my mom know what was going on, and she also seemed more pleased than usual. She even wanted to come and visit! Come to find out, she sold the ship we gave her for a ton of credits. She paid everything off and was able to work when she wanted to, not that she had too.

Greef was happy for us too, although he said he would miss having the reinforcements readily available. We were still allowed to go help fight when absolutely necessary, so he seemed content with that.

After deciding to become a clan of three, we had our vows down by the living waters. I didn’t know 90% of the people that attended, but at that moment, when we said our vows, Din officially removed his helmet in front of everyone to kiss me and seal our relationship. It was at that time I met Bo Katan, who I knew a lot from others’ stories.

She was very stoic like the rest of the Mandalorians, but seemed genuinely happy for us, as was everyone else. Mom was able to make it in and a few other of Din’s friends came as well.

He introduced me to Cara Dune, Fennec and Bobo Fett, amongst others. They seemed so happy for him, and he walked around with the biggest smile on his face as he greeted everyone and introduced me.

We were allowed to take a post marital vacation, just Din and me. We went back to Naboo, just the two of us.

It was a week of indescribable feelings, intimacy, and love for each other. I wouldn’t have had a more amazing time if I hand wrote it out myself. Truly, there are no words. We were on cloud nine and nothing could ruin this bond between us.

After returning from paradise, I was also recruited to be a teacher of sorts, with apprentices. Mine were to work with the older ones though, to help them read their environments, fight and be proactive in every way possible. It was amazing to see these kids grow! Grogu would eventually be in my class, so that will be special.

Din ended up being one of the most beloved trainers in all of Mandalore. He did work with everyone to be able to take apprentices out on little adventures with him that he was permitted to do. He also worked with the Republic on one off situations, and not as a hired hand under the table.

We still didn’t know who was going after Grogu’s blood, but like the Armorer said, it didn’t really matter because there would always be people from the Empire still trying to unlock Jedi secrets.

Grogu ended up being a big brother to our new addition. We had a girl and named her Dyna. Very early on, she and I had a bond, so I knew she had abilities like my own. We talked at length about sending her over to Luke to be trained as a Jedi. We still haven’t made that decision, but we do plan on making that trip to Yavin to discuss options. We knew what it would mean for us, to give up our daughter, and I wasn’t ready to make that decision. Din understood.

I would like to say after all this, we lived happily ever after, but that’s not even close to the truth. The truth is we had many more obstacles to face, loss to endure and frustrations to overcome. But one thing I can say is that we couldn’t have done it alone and we were glad we had such a family to lean on. Without them, our outcomes would be different.

What will our next adventure be with a toddler son and less than one year old to raise up? I can say that Din is an amazing father and an even better husband. All that story can be for another day. Until then, may the force be with you.

#pedro pascal #star wars #the mandalorian #grogu #mandalorian and grogu #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #grogu djarin #mando

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alarajrogers · 3 months

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Alara's List Of Games She Cannot Design Because She Is Not A Game Designer

None of these exist as anything other than high concept, and if you wanna rip one off, feel free, but give me credit for the original concept.

"Rat Man" game except with Portal IP stripped out of it. I wanted, years ago, to see a game about the Rat Man, which turns his schizophrenia into a game mechanic. In Portal lore, Rat Man, a paranoid schizophrenic who worked at Aperture Science, was the only survivor of GLaDOS' deadly neurotoxin, because his paranoia led him to flee. I wanted to have a character who successfully escaped an evil computer due to being paranoid. He has meds with him. If he takes the meds, he doesn't hallucinate, he sees the world as it is, he is better able to control his emotions (extreme terror can lead to a heart attack). But, he is less likely to notice threats. Without his meds, his inanimate comfort object talks to him so he is less lonely (extreme loneliness can cause depression, which slows all reaction time), and gives him warnings about threats before he can see them. Also, he sees the threats faster. He also sees a lot of threats that don't actually exist, which causes him to burn through his health faster. So the player has to trade off between taking meds for greater health and calm, vs not taking meds for greater reaction time and higher mood (without meds he is terrified all the time but he has his talking friend, who fills him with determination and strength of will, because his friend wants him to survive. With meds, his friend is an inanimate object and he's all alone.)

Something where you get to weaponize gravity against threats, like, you're on a space station where the artificial gravity is shut down, and your first and best big upgrade is getting the remote that turns on the gravity plating in the bulkheads. Gravity plating is in all bulkheads so you can make gravity happen on your left, then after your enemies are all drawn to your left, switch it off there and turn it on to the right, making them all fall the width of the room.

Bad Bitches, where you (or you and 2 friends in co-op mode) play female dogs getting into trouble in the trash cans and pantries in your house, while your owner patrols and tries to catch you being bad.

Mini Fridgy, where your mom is a jerk who has hidden all the snacks in the house in various mini-fridges, pantries and lockers in your house, and you have to run around eating the snacks and dodging your mom. Done in retro 80's mode because that's when I came up with this game. There is absolutely no pro-social or "health conscious" model here, you are a kid who wants snacks.

An RPG where you are a human who died and was sent to a world mostly populated by cute talking animals who are very sheltered and have basically the emotional regulation of 8 year olds. Also magic works here and responds to emotion, positive or negative, so friendship really is magic, a bunny rabbit throwing a Karen tantrum at the market because they didn't have the lettuce they wanted could turn into a poltergeist throwing everything around if you don't talk her down, and killing a sapient being turns anyone who does it into a monster. You can be a monster hunter, a monster reformer (this is dangerous as shit), a peacemaker, a farmer, a shopkeeper, whatever. Kind of like Animal Crossing in some ways, but with some MLP kind of shit mixed in.

Prison Break (not the actual title): Another story about cute animals. They are in prison for murder, arson, grand theft, etc, and so are you. Build alliances with your fellow prisoners, don't get shivved by that bunny with a knife, and, eventually, organize a prison break. You can kill people in this game but if it's not self defense you better make sure the wardens can't figure out it was you. And by people I mean adorable small animals who are disrespecting you.

#alara's game ideas

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the-rainbow-wonder-duck · 1 month

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SHh

Prefacing this by saying five things: 1- This is my anger that schools are focusing on the wrong issues (drugs, cheating, etc., and not sh, sui, bullying, etc.) 2- This is kinda intense. Proceed with caution. 3- If you are to repost/quote this or anything of the nature, just make sure to credit me. 4- Feel free to discuss, do not debate. 5- This is meant to be read in front of a class.

SHh (self harm hush)

Why can't I tell you What roadblocks I face? The challenges in place? The hardships I race? Why can't I mention Trials I've overcome? The competitions I've won? The feats that I've done? Why can't I warn you About self-deprecation? Why can't I applaud Your self-appreciation? Why must I hide My arms with my cuts? The cuts that I've made? The scars yet to fade? Why can't I ask For the help that I need? When will it be enough That society will concede To tell you that I have (Without all the fluff) Been to hell and back? Yup, I'm that tough. Or so you think As you've not yet made the link That I'm still not better, Nor yet can I speak. I keep it locked up, Not one single leak Lest I get chocked up To need attention I don't seek.

Ladies and gentlemen, It might look bleak And it will continue 'Cuz we're all to meek To look to the future, "What'll it matter if I do?" So this poem will sit, Unspoken, unheard, A deadly sickness To never be cured. "So what do we do?" Nothing, I guess. We should just quit, Our population less As a kid slits his wrist, Kind and sunkissed, Yes, he will be missed. A girl ties her noose; She hopes it's not loose. No, this isn't a ruse. This is a pandemic Consuming our nation. I'm fully surprised It doesn't fill you with elation. No, not you kids Though you're at fault too. For teachers and admins, This grand truth must ring: Sorry my friends, You're not doing a thing. Shut up about drugs, I don't need those lugs Saying "I've been to jail!" To a teen crowd of shrugs. "Wait, I might fail? "Here comes the ex-addict! "All Hail!" I need someone who delves Into kids killing themselves. We need to take This box off the shelves. It needs to be heard. This pot needs to be stirred. To the front of your mind This stuff needs to be lured. I hope you'll do something Though I think that you won't. You're distant from this, Untouchable zoned. Still, if you will, And I'd hope that you would, Just know you can Speak up now as you should. Not for your sake, But for others like me, Who feel very alone, For whom talking might be the key. Thank you for reading this, if you did. I know it's pretty heavy, but I appreciate it.

#self h@rm #self harm #sh #sui #suicide #safe space #anger #poem #poems and poetry #poems on tumblr #original poem #words words words #poetry #poemsbyme #poems and quotes #prose

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why-so-serious-lucifer · 5 months

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Tell Me What To Do; A Letter To Jonghyun

If you’ve ever stumbled across one of my posts before, you’ll probably know me as a (maybe somewhat harsh) reviewer, who will always take the chance to rhapsodize about harmonizing and complain about Dynamite. But that’s not what this is; I did write a review about JH’s work but this is different; I want to start off not with my “credentials” but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 through BLACKPINK and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet.

In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than he was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated in that grief. Just three weeks later, on December 18th, three years ago now, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard his name mentioned, through Yeri of Red Velvet, but had never taken the time to really listen, and I finally did.

It gives me no joy to say that I discovered that he had made a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he chose to leave the world, a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough. When I looked closer, I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli (Choi Jinri, of f(x)), and Hara (Goo Hara, of KARA), and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that finally got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit. I think I have depression.”

Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but to this day, it’s Jonghyun’s voice that sings “tell me what to do” on the 6:45 alarm reminding me to take my anti-depressants. To this day, it’s his music that I turn to when I need comfort. In his memory, I try to continue what he did for me. I take December 18th as a day to be just a little bit of a better person—a better sister, a better daughter, and a better friend both to others and to myself—as much as I possibly can.

Jonghyun’s discography is only five albums, less than three hours long. The mere fact of this makes me sad. I wish I could tell a story with a happier ending, one that I finish by saying that he’s still here, still on his 27th collection of wonderful stories, still teasing the hell out of the band members who loved him more than anything, still being a dork who brightens everyone’s day with the same humor that made me laugh for the first time in a month the first time I came across it.

But, no matter how good of a writer I think I am, I can’t do that. All I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. In this, I’m trying to do all three.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. After finding SHINee, I became a fan of Gfriend, Girls Generation, Seventeen, (G)I-DLE, Stray Kids, Sunmi, and, of course, Dreamcatcher, whose music is now a part of me too.

I know that I’ve probably made this way more about me than it should’ve been, but I’d like to end by saying this: I know that k-pop (and being a fan of it) are seen as something to mock, something only done by insecure, screeching teenage girls with too much free time on their hands who are obsessed with random men they’ve never met. And maybe that is who I was in 2019.

But to me now, and so many other people I know, it is stories like mine that are the real reason why we choose to dedicate so much of our precious free time to something that so many people deem childish. I’m a linguistics major, and I can tell you firsthand that music is one of very few things that can break a language barrier and reach people across the world. Had Jonghyun’s not reached me, I don’t know where I’d be. But I wouldn’t be here, and I definitely wouldn’t be a linguistics major. As he wrote in his book, “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, his advocacy, and, of course, his incredible kindness. Both our community and the world as a whole were very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing the word “K-pop” at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. Whenever I have my bad days, I listen to his music; I ask him to tell me what to do. And I make myself a promise: that whatever I do, I will never make the decision that he did.

Whether he’s out there and whether he’s listening or not, I’d just like to say thank you, Jonghyun, for changing my life. You did so, so, well, and, in an odd way, I’m incredibly proud of you and all you managed to accomplish despite the kind of pain you went through. I hope that, even though we never got the chance to meet, you would be proud of me too.

And thank you, for taking the time to read this. I hope that whoever you are and whatever Jonghyun means to you, you find a little comfort in the fact that you are not alone in it. However you want to grieve (or not grieve) is valid. If you’ve never heard of our wonderful singer before, take this as a sign to take ten minutes to learn something about a truly beautiful human.

And if you have, take this as a reminder to take your medication, get some sleep, and check in with your friends. Though Jonghyun thought that what he did was the only way out, he was wrong, because I’ve been there. I’m still there, sometimes. But take this as reassurance that it’ll get better. It might not be better tomorrow and it might not be better for a while. But it will get better.

Happy holidays, folks. Take care of yourselves out there. Tschüss and Fröhliche Weihnachten!

#k-pop #shinee #Jonghyun #onew #Minho #key #Taemin #shawol #mental health #letting go #depression #tw: suicide mention

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daddyy333 · 2 years

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Recovery | Jamie Campbell Bower x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

Word count: 1.8k

warnings: vivid details and descriptions of eating disorder, negative thoughts about body image, throwing up, reader forcing herself to throw up, reader starving herself, weight loss, weight gain, ?

summary: you think that eating less and getting smaller is going to make Jamie love you more, but little do you know it kills him to know you think that way

“Babe…are you sure you didn’t want any more breakfast?” Jamie asked, you’d eaten maybe 4 bites of just 1 of the three pancakes he gave you, didn’t use your favorite syrup either, and only 2 of the 5 strawberries he gave you were gone, you barely even drank your tea. He was concerned, he’d been noticing this for a few weeks. “I’m just not hungry,” you said and he nodded, sighing softly.

He put the food in a to-go container and offered it to the sweet old lady down the hall. It's what he usually did when you guys had leftovers and stuff like that. When he came back you were in the bathroom, and he could hear the shower, so he left you alone. What he didn’t know was that you weren’t in this shower for the full 20 minutes he thought.

15 minutes was spent hovered over the toilet, forcing your fingers down your throat to make sure this breakfast didn’t cause you to get bigger. You’d been doing this for months, and it was working. You’d been insecure about being a bit chunkier than everyone else since you were a kid, but all of the sudden you felt so guilty about eating you didn’t want to do it anymore.

But when Jamie was around you had to eat something or else he’d be concerned, and you didn’t want him to make you stop. You were finally getting skinnier, you were finally becoming the girlfriend he deserves.

“Bubba! Hurry, we’re gonna be late,” he said, knocking on the bathroom door to make sure you heard him. You said “ok, I’ll be right out” You sighed softly, looking in the full length mirror in the bathroom. Just a few more weeks, you would be perfect.

You came out and he went in to take his shower. You changed into a pair of jeans, pleased with the fact that you genuinely needed a belt to keep these up. You slipped one of Jamie’s t-shirts on and you noticed it was looser than normal. Jamie came in shortly after and got ready.

That was the routine. Every morning, he’d watch you barely eat any kind of breakfast, then instantly go off to the shower and spend more time than he remembered from the earlier months of your relationship. He knew something was up, he knew it.

It finally hit him when you guys spent a week vacationing in the Bahamas, you were being served the most incredible food and he saw you take maybe 5 bites of each meal before claiming you were “full”. He’d noticed how small you’d gotten, how prominent your ribs were and how big the gap between your thighs were.

Your last day of vacation he heard you throwing up and went to check on you, but before he knocked he caught a glimpse of you shoving your fingers down your throat and throwing up more. He then knocked and said “everything okay?” “y-yea, sorry I think I just ate something bad” you said and he bent down behind you, rubbing your back and gathering your hair up.

He got you a cup of water and you brushed your teeth, he was oddly silent but you didn’t pay much attention to it at first. It continued the last few hours of the trip. The plane back home boarded at night and he barely said a word the entire time.

He felt so…frustrated. He should’ve known. He shouldn’t have let it get this bad. How much had you lost? Why were you doing it? Was it because of him? Did he make you feel like you had to? Oh god, it killed him to think this was his fault.

The flight landed and you were asleep so he picked you up, god you were a feather. He was able to keep you asleep for almost the entire time, until you had to grab your bags. He woke you up gently and when you were actually yourself again he set you down and you both carried the bags to the car and got situated.

Normally when he drove he put a hand on your thigh and would find something to talk about. He was just so angry at himself, so upset that you were going through this, he couldn’t do anything but stay quiet and let his worries run through his head a thousand times.

He talked a little once you got home, and then made brunch since it was now 10am the next day. You tried to leave after your 3rd bite but he stopped you. “Y/n, please, for god sakes finish something on that plate” he said and you stared at him like a deer in headlights.

“I-I’m really full, babe. Sorry,” you said and he sighed softly, letting go of your wrist with a shaky breath. “Is everything okay?” You asked as you put everything away for leftovers.

He whimpered, tears filling his eyes as he dropped his fork and ran his hands over his face. “No, y/n, nothings okay, damn it! I know what’s going on, I know what you’re doing and it has to stop” He said as calmly as he could and your heart dropped. He wasn’t talking about that, was he? How could he know? You were so careful.

“What are you talking about?” You asked. Play dumb. Just play dumb, it’s all gonna be fine. He turned around in his seat and said “I know that you’re practically starving yourself and you throw up every bite you eat just to lose weight for some ungodly reason like you need to or something. I can see your bones, y/n, it’s unhealthy and eventually it’s going to kill you, for christ sake”

“Jamie, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said and he scoffed. He rolled his eyes and said “I’m not gonna let this continue any longer. You have an eating disorder whether you’d like to admit or not and I swear to god I’m not gonna sit here and watch you wither away. I can’t- I can’t just sit here and watch you kill yourself, y/n. I need you to be healthy, please,” “I am healthy. I’m just skinny that’s all,” you said and he bit his lip, tears spilling down his cheeks.

He shook his head and said “no, no y/n you’re not healthy. You are supposed to have beautiful thick thighs and wide hips and your stomach is supposed to bulge a little when you sit down. That’s your healthy, baby. Your body needs its fuel, it needs it’s nutrition sweetheart. Please, take care of yourself, I beg of you”

“I just- I-I’m just trying to be the perfect girlfriend for you,” you said softly. Jamie’s heart shattered. He took a deep breath and said “skinny is not perfect, sweetheart. I love the way you look, no matter what the scale says. I love that you’re not naturally a small, tiny little skin a bone woman. I knew that you were healthy when you had more weight on you. Now, now you’re risking your life just trying to be smaller, and it’s stressing me out and it’s scaring me y/n. I may not understand what you’re going through but so help me god, I just know that you need someone to help you realize how bad this is for you and it’s gotta be me. I’m with you all the time, I can help you get better”

“I don’t want to be fat again,” you whimpered, looking down at the ground. He let out a shaky breath and said “you were not fat, y/n. You were just a regular woman. Not everyone is meant to have those scarily small waists and thigh gaps. You were meant to have those perfect, pillow soft thick thighs and a little more love on your sides and that’s the woman I fell in love with, remember? I didn’t choose you because I wanted you to be skinny. I chose you because I loved you the way you were”

“You don’t love me anymore?” You asked quietly, tears running down your cheeks. “Of course I still love you, y/n. I love you more than I can handle, which is why I want to help recover” “I don’t wan-wanna be fat again,” you said, sobbing threatening to come out.

He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, trying to make you feel better. He knew you were in a fragile state, he knew that the way you were thinking felt genuinely right to you so he wasn’t trying to change it this instant but he needed to at least make you realize that it’s so harmful to you.

It took a lot of effort, so many setbacks, 2 relapses and lots of tears and little small arguments, but it was all worth it because 2 years later , you were healthy and happy again. Granted, you weren’t back to your previous weight yet but that was probably because you started focusing on eating stuff that was healthy and full of vitamins and protein and nutrition and focused on really taking care of your body.

You felt so sorry every day that you scared Jamie like that, that you made him feel the way you did. You knew that this wasn’t about him, but he was your partner, he felt a certain kind of pain too after having to see you go through that.

You ate every meal you could together, and if you couldn’t be together you’d facetime, and if one of you was in a different time zone or whatnot, the other found a snack and ate that instead. He celebrated all your little milestones with you, got you through every bad day and temptation to relapse and held you, cried with you, he was there for all of it.

You decided to redo the trip to the Bahamas, this time with you being happier and healthier. You are whatever you wanted, not caring about if it was good for you or not, you were on vacation and deserved it. Plus, ‘cheat weeks are beneficial to the soul’ as Jamie would say.

You had Jamie take a picture of you in the same spot, in the same pose as you had been in the year before and then decided to post them to social media. You talked about what happened a little, your journey and how much better you were now and how worth it it was.

Jamie was so proud of you, he even ordered you the really expensive dessert you’d been wanting to try. He just felt so lucky to have been able to get you help, and to have you here with him right now. Things could’ve gone seriously wrong last year, and he could’ve lost you. But no, he got lucky enough and now he’s holding you in his arms, whilst you stuffed your face with overpriced cheesecake.

“I’m so proud of you, y/n…you have no idea” he said and you smiled. You sighed softly and said “I couldn’t have done it without you” “sure you could. Stronger than I’ll ever be” he said and kissed your head. You smiled and he stole the bit of cheesecake you had on your fork, making you gasp and giggle.

As of now I’m writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

#stranger things #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #jamie bower x y/n #jamie campbell bower x y/n #jamie bower oneshot #jamie bower x reader #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie campbell bower fanfiction

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msfbgraves · 2 years

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I still can't bear how Cobra Kai writers make Daniel treat his own son

(This gif below is what Daniel actually would do, of course. And they cut it.)

I have a tic that makes it difficult to enjoy franchises. I may be very aware why some writing choices are made that are in no way internally consistent, but I have this internal need to make it make sense, damn it. (And I'm not even in them, imagine how some of the actors must feel.)

And I know Cobra Kai is writing fanon versions of characters. They're very happy to ignore the franchise they're playing off of to suit their own narrative. I know that, I can see it, their bias is so clear it could be flashing on the screen in neon letters and yet.

Why did they make Daniel, a boy who had hangups about fatherhood, sure, but has been canonically shown to be diligent, compassionate, and extremely loving if he could be bratty to those who'd wronged him

A boy who was raised on the mantra "no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher"

into a man who shows these traits to every child he interacts with

But not his own son?

At first sight, he raised a brat. Anthony is disengaged, blunt, dismissive of his father and prone to lying and cheating rather than showing any real effort.

Does Daniel try to correct any of these behaviours? No.

Does he spend any time with the kid one on one?

No.

He spends hours training Robby and Samantha, but Anthony? Nope.

Twice, on the show, the blatant favouritism Anthony perceives when it comes to how he feels less loved than Samantha is called out to Daniel's face. Does Daniel do anything at all to correct this? No!

It struck me how Anthony adores his grandmother and spends a whole dinner curled up in a side hug by her side. I really loved both my grandmothers too but could it be that the kid feels a tad neglected? Hm.

Then, Anthony acts out twice again. First, in the dojo, I'm not saying it isn't hugely annoying to pay someone to do his work with his father's credit card, but here Anthony is, trying to spend some time with his father doing something he has no interest in, just to please him, and Daniel immediately leaves him alone to clean bird shit off cars. Yes I know it is a callback. No, Daniel did not have a history of persistent neglect with Mr. Miyagi at that point.

So Anthony gives up again. What's the point? And if this does come with negative attention, well, that is better than none at all.

And then there is the bullying.

Daniel, and I get this, looks about ready to eviscerate him.

Anthony is suspended and has his screens taken away, though what that's supposed to do to address the root of the issue, God knows. And Daniel does come in to - talk at him. In true Daniel fashion, he takes some of the blame, but does anyone ask Anthony what drove him to do this? No. Daniel here might think there is no point because there is no excuse for bullying, but after his lecture, does he ask anything else? No. He was about to leave and congratulate himself on a good talk and then...

Before I say anything else, no, no, I don't think Daniel would ever strike his kids. Ever. Not. Ever. He'll murder anyone who touches them.

But.

Violently breaking things is a major relationship red flag. Anyone who breaks your things, at this point, is telling you they could break you if they chose to, so watch out.

Would Daniel stop himself before he got that far? Sure. Even this weirdly written one. The OOC one that had one of these other strange outbursts at Robby that Ralph disagreed with.

But does Anthony know that? No.

You know what he does know? That his Dad has a black belt in karate, on top of being naturally stronger than him.

And he's terrified into submission. Which he should have been before, many viewers say, because he was a brat acting out to get some attention. Yes he had to escalate that because nothing worked. No, he shouldn't have involved Kenny. But guys. Daniel's reaction only tells him that neglect can turn into physical harm.

In Anthony's next show of deference, he asks to again spend some time with Daniel at the dealership if need be.

Do we see that...?

In season 5, he comes to no one with his severe bullying problems. The only one who seems to be connecting some dots is Sam. He tells her 'I need comfort food', and later she finally presses him to tell her what is wrong.

Wow that only took five seasons!

And the Doylist reason for all of this is that they wanted Daniel to be a bit of an asshole and they only know to write shitty fathers but, God.

The Watsonian reasons for this are...

Daniel, in his own franchise, is not like this. He is a very considerate son, he is devoted to Mr. Miyagi, he was there for his own father, and when they leave Ralph alone to play Daniel, he is patient and inventive in connecting with children, both his and others... except with Anthony.

What makes Anthony different?

Again I feel that, just as Ralph would have seen Daniel marry Kumiko, he would give his son all the time he never got to have with his own father. Just as he gave him everything he didn't have money wise.

But this, what we get, I can only justify...

If Daniel is envious of his son.

His son looks remarkably like him. But he has everything Daniel never got to have. Two parents. No money troubles, all his (LaRusso) family close by, safety, no responsibility, an unstrained relationship with Lucille. He doesn't need to work hard or fight to not be thrown off his bike. Maybe school is even easier for him than it was for Daniel. And Anthony is perceptive, o boy. He's seen the Cobra Kai in his father.

And he likes it.

So here Daniel has this mini me, who has everything that Daniel would have loved to have himself, thank you very much, who doesn't appreciate it, or him (doesn't he?) and he sees the things that scare Daniel most about himself... sees all his worst traits, things he fought not to indulge in, projected, reflected at himself... A son he didn't plan to have but forces himself to raise, because he is too Catholic to consider abortion...

And he shuts him out. Buys him off. Stops looking.

Wow.

That is a level of misdirected anger and self-hatred that would shock Miyagi. Should shock Lucille. Actually does shock his child psychologist cousin Vanessa.

And I am really, really sorry for the writers' collective Daddy issues, but there was no reason to do this. None. Maybe they cannot imagine anything else but... they could simply not have written Anthony into existence. The character assassination of giving us the emotionally worst possible Daniel who lacks any and all will to deal with his pain... most parents would be happy to give their child what they didn't have. Not envious. It's possible but painful, OK?

Does Sam not have enough going on without having to be a surrogate parent for her brother? Isn't it awful that it is Tory who takes one look at Anthony and says "Go. Protect your brother!" where his own parents will not?

Why did they do that? It really hurts to watch. Turn teenage Daniel, with his heart the size of Sydney Harbour, into this terrible Dad? Teenage Daniel would kick this Daniel in the shins and rightly so.

#daniel larusso meta #anthony larusso #cobra kai #daniel LaRusso #out of character #I don't blame Ralph I know he tries #This is no I hate Daniel post #I hate it when the writers project their own hatred and weakness unto him #They didn't have to do that #they didn't have to invent Anthony to give Daniel a reason to be emotionally abusive #Maybe he just isn't #have you considered that?#Maybe the canonical Terry trauma and Sam's eldest daughter syndrome and Robby as surrogate son #was enough drama #emotional neglect

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