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abbatoirablaze · 3 months

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Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 16

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: mention of violence, sexual harassment/assault, anger

“Archie DeCoste,” you groaned as you sipped on your morning coffee and spoke with your boyfriend, “Dean Pelton wants us to go and impress him on the walkthrough they’re doing today and I-“

“I know,” he smiled, walking around the island to press a kiss to your cheek. You all but preened when you felt his hand on your lower back in an attempt to soothe you, “I agreed to help Annie, Britta, and the dean on the tour today.”

You turned to look at him, surprise lacing your features, “you what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” he smiled, shrugging his shoulders, “see…I can help out Greendale. I mean, it’s given me a lot over the years. An education…a group of misfit friends who really, it feels like I’m a guardian for…and you.”

“Greendale is making you soft,” you teased, leaning into him, “why am I just hearing about it now, though? I thought that you wanted to go to Banana Republic and have a mall day on your off day. You were practically having an orgasm at the idea last week.”

He shrugged and lifted your mug of coffee to his lips, taking a sip, “what can I say…maybe my girlfriend is the one affecting me, and making me want to be a better man. Also, Craig said that you were going to help out on the later part of the tour…”

“I have an eight o’clock class, so I won’t be able to help out until after nine thirty. I’m supposed to meet them somewhere near the cafeteria.” You admitted, only processing the underlying meaning behind his words after your admission came out. You turned to him, eyes slightly widened, “are you only helping out because you heard that I’m helping out?”

“ME? Doing something that benefits myself?” he asked, feigning a hurt tone, “Well I would never…”

“Sure you wouldn’t!” you teased.

“Maybe I just want to spend some quality time with my girlfriend,” he shrugged, “and if we happen to be winning some white whale for Greendale, maybe she’ll want to celebrate after!”

“Oh…so there are ulterior motives?” you asked. He smirked, and turned your head and leaned up, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips, “and you’re alright with the idea of wasting your only free day this week helping out Greendale?”

“I guess you’ll find out…”

“You’re on, Winger…” you smiled, “and who knows…if you’re a good boy during the tour, maybe you’ll get a special treat when we ‘celebrate’ the win.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll see you there, Professor Michaels.”

You turned around in his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck, “do you mean to tell me that you’re going to be doing the whole tour now? Not just helping out for a little bit?”

“Oh yeah…I’m just that much of a nice guy!”

“This new Jeff Winger is getting me revved up,” you admitted in a purr, “helpful. Kind. Wanting to make Greendale better…this wouldn’t have anything to do with me offering a little something special afterwards, now would it?”

“Oh, it has everything to do with that being your place of work and my special perks!” he grinned, pressing a firm kiss to your lips, “I’ll see you later?”

“Yes, you will!” you smiled, pressing another kiss to his lips, before slipping out of his arms. You giggled when you felt him playfully smack your ass on the way past, “JEFF WINGER!”

“Tawney Michaels,” he smiled in response as he took another sip from your cup of coffee. You slid your heels on and ran back over to him, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek, while stealing your coffee, “HEY! I was drinking that.”

“Mine first,” you teased, sticking your tongue out playfully as you started towards the door, “love you!”

“Love you too!”

‘Hey…where are you?’

Jeff rolled his eyes as he looked over to Pierce. Typing his reply, he shut his phone, only for it to buzz once more.

‘Took me to the barbershop,’ he texted Annie, ‘text me the second I can ditch him.’

“You know, Jeff, I thought you were ignoring me.”

“Things have just been really busy with me and Tawney lately…and then class-“

“Oh yeah…you’re dating Tawney…still. How’s that going?”

“Really good. We moved in together at the end of the last school year. So, we’ve just been getting situated.”

“Take it from a man who was married seven times before, Jeff…sometimes you just have to let a woman take control of the house.”

“Did you do that with your ex-wives?”

“No, no…but I can see something when I see you and Tawney on campus. You two will last!” he smiled as he sipped on his brandy.

“Thanks….” He said unenthusiastically as he continued to scroll through his phone, seeing if he had a message from you, “hey Pierce…you know I can tell why you like this shop. It really is special.”

“Well, if you really like the place so much, why don’t you gay marry it?’ Pierce joked. Jeff couldn’t help but laugh with the rest of the guys, “you probably didn’t notice it, Jeff, but I’ve subtly been trying to get us some alone time. I mean…so that we could talk, guy to guy.”

“I might have picked up on that.”

“I’m no stranger to father issues,” Pierce began, as he swirled his drink, “so I know that confronting your dad couldn’t have been easy, and I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you.”

Jeff leaned back into the chair as he let the moment sink in, “well…if you’re so proud, why don’t you gay marry me?”

The shop started laughing once more as they cheered.

“Oh hey, your phone’s buzzing,” Pierce smiled, picking up Jeff’s phone to look at it, “oh and it’s from Annie you sly dog.”

Jeff’s eyes went wide as he looked at Pierce and reached for his phone, “Pierce, no-“

“Need more time. Keep Pierce busy!” he read, “keep me busy?”

“Look, the group is giving the big shot some tour,” he explained, “so it’s my job to keep you busy. You know you get jealous.”

“So that’s why you spent the day with me?” he asked, “you drew the short straw.”

“Well, that’s how it started. But then I really did end up having a good time.”

“Yeah, I used to regret not having a son to bring here,” he mused, “I’m glad I didn’t have kids. They just end up disappointing you.”

Jeff sighed as Pierce got up and left.

“Shit…”

“DELTA CUBES! DELTA CUBES! DELTA CUBES!”

“Why does the dean have his pants down?” Jeff asked as he walked into the aftermath of the party in the cafeteria, “and what is going on?”

“Hey, who’s the hottie?” Archie asked, a smile gracing his features as he all but lit up, looking at you.

“Excuse me?”

“Professor Michaels, this is Archie Decoste, the newest Greendalian!”

“Wait, she’s a professor?” Archie grinned, “What does she teach? Hottie 101? Oh, please tell me you teach it in a bikini!”

You looked over to your boyfriend, the grip on your waist getting a little tighter as he found himself getting upset over what Archie was saying. You put your hand on his chest, “Jeff…”

“I’m going to get us some coffee!” Jeff said firmly, not wanting to dig himself a hole, “Do you want your usual?”

“Thanks!” you smiled, giving him a gentle kiss.

“Hey…what do you say you leave Seacrest and get with me?” Archie smirked, “my dad is loaded, and I have a jet ski…well I will, when I go buy a new one. I sank the last one.”

You grimaced, “pass!”

“Awww, come on!” he smiled, “I just agreed to go to your school.”

“Good for you,” you offered, a faux smile gracing your face as you looked to Annie and Craig, “I think I’m going to go get my coffee with Jeff.”

As you were walking away, you squeaked, jumping from your spot.

Archie had pinched your ass as you walked past.

Your eyes went wide.

Jeff had forgotten your coffees, and was launching himself towards the new student, his fist flying. His hand collided with the smug rich kid’s face, and your eyes went even wider. You gasped, your hands rushing to cover your mouth, “OH MY GOD, JEFF!”

“ARCHIE!” Dean Pelton gasped, going for the now on the ground student, “oh my god, are you okay, Archie?”

“WHAT THE HELL?”

“JEFFREY!” Dean Pelton yelled, “What did you do?”

“Hey, hey, HEY! It’s Sophie B Hawkins!”

Britta’s jaw nearly dropped as she saw Sophie B. Hawkins and her band following behind her into the cafeteria. You stopped with Pierce at the door to the cafeteria, your boyfriend glancing at you in disbelief.

“Tawney…she totally Britta’d it,” Jeff laughed as he shook his head, “she was going on and on about ignoring gender stereotypes, and she thought she was trying to talk about Susan B. Anthony, not Sophie B. Hawkins.”

You looked between your boyfriend and back to your phone, where you’d just had a phone call with a very distraught Britta, “Jeff…I’m sure that you don’t need to rub it in. She probably feels horrible about it!”

“Of course I do,” he grinned, “she was so headstrong about it. I mean, I would have just let it go if she admitted that she was wrong and messed it all up, but she kept acting like it was her intention. And now she’s stuck planning a party around the singer who’s most famous song was ‘Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover!’ It’s irony at it’s best.”

“Jeff-“

Jeff’s brow furrowed as he watched your expression, and how you were not finding enjoyment out of it like he was, “don’t you think it’s funny, Tawney?”

“I think you’re being really tough on her.”

“You can’t be serious,” he groaned, “I mean, how would you think I was being too tough on her if-SHE CALLED YOU!”

You frowned, looking away from your phone once more, “yeah…okay. Maybe she did…”

“Tawney…she’s not telling you everything.”

“So, you guys didn’t make fun of her for it and practically push her into planning a dance around someone when she made an honest mistake?”

This time Jeff frowned, and he sighed, “Tawney….”

“Have you guys ever realized that sometimes you have the tendency to really bully some people into things, Jeff?” you asked sadly, “not just you, but the whole group. And it’s not just Britta…she’s just the most recent target of it.”

“What? No we don’t.”

“Need I bring up the Germans again?”

Jeff scowled, “that was one time…”

“The whole campus was mad at you guys, Jeff.”

“Well…I can’t go apologize to Britta!” he admitted after a second.

“Why not?”

“Because….she…we…I just can’t…okay…”

“So then, you would be okay if I helped her?”

His jaw nearly dropped, “oh don’t tell me that she conned you into this too!”

“She didn’t con me into anything, Jeff…I’m helping a friend.”

Britta stepped down off the stage, and everyone began cheering as Sophie introduced herself and the band before playing. You made your way through the cafeteria and to Britta.

“How did you-“

“I had help!” you admitted, pointing to Pierce. He gave a nervous smile but stayed in his spot. Jeff walked over to the two of you, disbelief crossing his features.

“Did you do all this?’

“If it’s possible to make something happen by willing it to happen then yes, I did!” Britta said in her own state of disbelief.

Jeff looked at you over her head, ‘you?’

You only smiled at him.

Then out of nowhere the music stopped. You looked back up to the stage to see Abed had grabbed the microphone and was scanning the crowd, “I have something to say. I met a girl here tonight. Her name was Rachel! I met her and it was very pleasant. And I made a mistake. And now I’d very much like to continue this conversation in private.”

He left the stage and Sophie sighed into the microphone, “Wow…viva lost love!”

A bunch of people cheered as she began the song once more.

Jeff held his hand out to you, but looked at Britta, “do you mind if I take my girlfriend for a spin on the dance floor.”

“Go for it!” she smiled, gesturing between he two of you.

“Mr. Winger?” you asked, taking his hand in yours.

“Miss. Michaels…” he smiled, pulling you into his arms.

Chapter 17

Tag List: @lohnes16, @mckeeee-1

#down the rabbit hole #troy community #community show #abed community #greendale community college #community #greendale #craig pelton #dean pelton #jeff winger #britta perry #shirley bennett #annie edison #troy and abed #troy barnes #abed nadir #pierce hawthorne

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ieatadoptmepets · 1 year

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I may or may not have written my first fanfic and it may or may not be good, but I like it. I think I executed my vision almost perfectly. I hope y'all like it :3

***

"If we were to move our meetings to 4:30-" Annie explains to the group.

"No!" Both Troy and Britta shout.

"I have a regular class at that time. It's like math or other regular classes," Troy says to us, visibly nervous, but no one else is better than reading Troy than I am. They don't notice.

"Yeah, I have something unimportant that can't ever move," Britta agrees. I notice Troy starts breathing harder and is sweating a bit. I know what class he's talking about, he dances. Britta is quick to agree and shuts Annie down too. She must be dancing too. I became aware of Troy's dancing weeks ago when he left his schedule laying around and once forgot to change out of his clothes and tried to convince me they were for football. I let him believe I accepted his lie but I felt bad for him. I suspect it's more than just dancing, but it's not my place to pry, and I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. The group almost figuring out he dances, though, seems to have put him on the verge of a panic attack. I don't want him to feel like that.

Since we can't move the group's meeting time, we decide to vote on Pierce letting us in at the door. The mention of his name makes everyone grow concerned, he hasn't arrived yet. We all start mourning him until he walks in the door.

Pierce whines about us pretending to be concerned for him but really hoping he's dead and Jeff once again reveals another woman he's sleeping with, and the group disperses.

I take note of Britta dancing too and how scared Troy was, so I ask Britta to stay behind while the group goes.

"Sure, Abed. What's up?" She asks.

"I know Troy takes a dancing class and based on how you both reacted, I know you do too," I tell her.

"What? Psh, no, I don't dance. I DEFINITELY do not tap dance, where'd you hear that from? Wait, is this about Troy? Abed, he's your best friend you can't be homophobic to him, not cool man," She says and rambles on.

"I've known about Troy dancing for a while and it doesn't bother me. He seems really scared about the group finding out and now that I know you dance too, can you help him out? Just try to convince him that it's okay and we all support him," I tell her.

"Aw, Abed, that is so sweet. I'm glad you care about him. I didn't know he was scared about coming out. I'll help you, Abed. Oo, maybe I can accidentally run into him after class and convince him to come out with me to the group."

"Thank you, and don't make it obvious I sent you to do this. I don't want him to feel trapped or forced," I say.

"Don't worry Abed, I got this."

***

I haven't had the chance to see Britta or Troy since I spoke to her. I hope Britta didn't Britta her talk with Troy and that he's doing alright. It's our study time again, but the door is locked. Who could've guessed? We're all here waiting, except for Jeff. He's inside, making out with Professor Slater.

"Hey! Could you open the back door?" Pierce shouts. They look at us in shock.

They let us inside, and Jeff introduces us to Michelle. She likes macaroni and cheese like I do so I guess she's nice. Once she leaves, Britta takes the opportunity to tell everyone about her and Troy dancing.

She grabs his hand and says "Hey, everyone, speaking of secrets, Troy and I have something we'd like to announce." Annie gasps in shock.

"No, no," Britta continues. I suspect that Annie has much less of a chance with Troy than she thinks, for reasons I won't say.

"There is a dance recital on Friday, and I would be honored if you guys would attend. Because since last semester, I have been taking a tap class." She gives Troy a reassuring look. The group points out the irony of an emotionally closed off person like her taking dance classes. Shirley asks Troy about his secret and he looks even more scared than before.

"My secret is that I knew Britta's secret," Troy says. He doubles down on the lie and makes fun of Britta dancing, and then the Dean comes in, having seen Pierce's tweet about Jeff and Slater's relationship. The group leaves and normally I would hang back and walk with Troy, but I let Britta stay with him to talk about what happened. I haven't talked with him much lately. I hope he doesn't think it's related to him dancing, although it is.

Later, Britta finds me sitting outside and updates me on the Troy situation.

"He dropped out of the dance! I don't know how I'm gonna do this, Abed. He's really scared, and I don't know how to help him without revealing our plan. Maybe you should talk to him," She says to me.

"No, I don't know how to help either. If he knows this was a plan he'll lose all trust in me. This needs to be a decision he makes on his own. Let him be, and we'll all he there cheering you on at your show, Britta."

***

Britta's show has started, and it's an endless match between Pierce's complaints and Shirley's shushing. Britta's performance is very underwhelming and she starts to clam up. I follow her gaze and notice Jeff and Slater holding hands. She claims to not be in love with him but she's so bad at hiding her feelings that even I can read them.

Just as I had partially expected, Troy comes on stage to assit Britta. I expected it because it'd be the exact thing to happen on TV, the very masculine man coming on stage last minute to redeem himself and save the damsel in distress. But I didn't expect it because from what Britta said, he was really adamant about not dancing. I'm glad he came.

The performance is over, and Britta and Troy nailed it. Especially Troy. I tell them both they were great and wait for Troy to be alone. I want to come clean with him now that he completed his performance.

"Hey, Troy, can we talk?" I ask him

"Yeah man, what's up?"

"Come talk with me in my dorm."

Troy says his goodbyes to the group and receives congratulations from them, except for Pierce, who tells him it was a creative way to come out. Troy panicks and stutters over his words, trying to say he isn't gay. I ignore it and continue walking with him.

We reach my dorm and Troy, still nervous from Pierce, asks why I want to talk to him in private.

"Troy, I've known you've been dancing for a while. I kept your secret because you're my friend, and because I thought it was about more than just dancing. But when I noticed how scared you were at the thought of the group finding out, I asked Britta to help you out. Now that it's over, I thought it's time to come clean," I tell him.

"Oh. I'm sorry Abed, you didn't have to do all that. You don't have to do all that for me. I know you care, but I'm fine. I didn't want people to know because you know how they'd respond, especially Pierce." I think that Troy's dancing represents more than dancing and actually represents his sexuality, but I don't want to pressure him. I also don't understand anything that isn't crystal clear, so I'm not sure how to go about this.

"You know, when I was a teenager, I started dancing. At first, my dad hated it. He didn't approve and yelled at me for weeks to stop dancing. Then, when I had my first recital, I was surprised he showed up. I was even more surprised when he clapped for me at the end. We got a standing ovation, started by my dad. When he saw me after, he told me he saw how happy I was whole dancing and he couldn't deny that to me. He apologized for being angry and supported my passion for dance ever since," I say to him. It's not entirely true, but he doesn't have to know that. I hope he believes it.

He gives me a look that I can't read.

"Abed, this isn't about dancing, is it?"

"No," I tell him. "I'm bisexual. I figured it out when I was sixteen. My dad was livid, but when he saw me happy on a date with my first boyfriend, he started to loosen up and support me. He fully supports me now. I've really started to think that you're queer too and that dancing has something to do with it, but I didn't want to assume. I think you're afraid of the group rejecting you, but you know that won't happen. We're all here for you, Troy."

"Wait, if you think the group would be supportive, why haven't you come out?"

"Because it was never relevant. If I had a serious boyfriend, I would come out, but I don't. There's no need. It's not like I tell them every time I hook up with someone."

"Ha, nice, you get laid," he laughs. We do our handshake.

"Thank you, Abed. And I am gay. It feels nice to finally say that. But there's more to it. Abed, with you going all these lengths for me, I can't deny it. I have feelings for you. I think I've had then for a long time, I think since we became partners for the Spanish project. But I realized it when I accidentally let Fievel out of his cage. You are an amazing person and I love everything about you. I love the way you care, I love the way you think, I love you for just the way you are. It's perfect. You're perfect, Abed," he confesses.

"I have feelings for you too, Troy. I don't know how to express it like you do, but believe me, I feel the same way." I pull him into a hug and we stand there, in the middle of my dorm, in silence. The sound of us breathing is calming.

After a few minutes, Troy breaks the silence.

"Does this mean we're dating now?"

"Well, do you want to be my boyfriend?" I ask him.

"Yes. Yes, I do, Abed," he says.

"Then the answer is yes."

"Hey Abed?"

"Yes, Troy?"

"I don't want to come out to the group. Not about being gay or us dating. Not yet, at least. I don't want to do it."

"Take all the time you need, Troy," I tell him. And for the first time in my life, I feel complete.

***

!!!!!!!! I finished my first fanfic and I'm happy!! unbelievably tired too but it was worth it. I'm definitely gonna make a chapter 2, but I'm not sure after that. if I make more chapters, they'll likely be more as one shots. I also have a list of other stand alone trobed fics to write, majority about them coming together so there'll be more. and maybe considering an abed x reader or oc cause I love abed and can't really project onto troy?? but don't take my word on that. I also am in need of a title for this so im not sure how that'll go. also I might repost this to wattpad and link it so if I do I'll edit it to add. definitely won't be on ao3 though, I refuse to make an account there. anything fanfic wise that I do will definitely be on tumblr, maybe on wattpad

#troy barnes #annie edison #britta perry #community nbc #community tv #jeff winger #nbc community #troy and abed #six seasons and a movie #abed nadir #troy x abed #abed #troy and abed in the morning #abed x troy #community fanfic #community fic #community #trobed #trobed fic

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semisutopia · 1 year

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𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵

abed x fem!reader

“guys we have to do something. y/n hasn’t been in any anthropology classes and we haven’t seen her all week”, britta started the study group’s discussion.

shirley and annie both nodded their heads in vigorous agreement while troy, pierce, and jeff looked at each other in questioning. “what can we even do though? it’s not like we can just go to her dorm and talk to her”, troy said.

“not true, i’ve been to her dorm. i know where it is”, annie retaliated. “but does that really matter? maybe she doesn’t want to talk to us. you ever think about that?”, jeff said with his legs on the table.

“why wouldn’t she want to?”, shirley asked. “maybe she’s gotten sick of us”, annie said with a frown. “there’s no way that could happen. she’s told me all about her high school 'friends'. she loves our company”, britta replied.

“abed, sweetie, you’ve been really quiet. everything alright?”, shirley noticed him being nonverbal. everyone turned their heads to the eighteen-year-old.

“britta’s right. y/n wouldn’t get sick of us. she keeps talking about how happy she is to have us. that’s an unlikely situation”, abed stated. “yeah..but aren’t you concerned that we haven’t seen her in a whole week?”, britta asked.

abed simply shrugged and said, “yes but we can’t control her. jeff’s the dad. controlling is his job”.

suddenly, a gasp emerged from jeff’s mouth. “she’s sleeping with someone”, he stated his revelation.

“what drew you to that conclusion?”, britta asked.

“think about it right. y/n's not the type of person to ditch her friends at all. especially since we have such a significance in her life. the only explanation for her avoiding us is embarrassment. she doesn’t want us to know she’s yknow”, he make the hand gesture that caused everyone else to roll their eyes.

“okay i vote we go to her dorm and ask her ourselves and find out definitively”, britta paused and glared at jeff, “that y/n is not sleeping with anyone”. with that, they all set off for y/n's dorm.

—————

britta knocked on y/n's door only for her to answer after a full minute. she opened the door and looked panicked. “aha! quick, check her dorm for someone!”, jeff instructed and troy and pierce followed suit.

in the midst of them checking her closet, desk, and under her bed, y/n was looking at no one in particular and staring at the floor, fiddling with her fingers.

“what the hell are you doing?!”, she asked. “we know you’re sleeping with someone missy!”, pierce explained. “what the fuck? i’m not sleeping with anyone. and STOP MESSING UP MY ROOM”, she pulled troy back by the shoulder.

the three men stopped and now it was the girls’ turn to be questionable. “y/n, where have you been? you’ve missed every anthropology class since the semester began”, annie said.

“are you really not sleeping with anyone, y/n? because if you are…that’s…real good for you. yknow getting yourself going. good for you, girl”, shirley also said.

it was important to note that since entering her dorm, abed had not taken his gaze off of y/n. in contrast, she was doing her best to not look at him at all.

y/n sighed and replied, “no, shirley i have not been sleeping with anyone. i’ve just been taking early morning classes to manage my time better. and anthropology is so useless now. literally, nothing happens”.

“yeah but it still counts for credit. you’re lucky duncan has been drunk every class and doesn’t notice your absence. but what about coming to the library?”, britta asked.

y/n started fiddling more and breathing started becoming harder for her. “um- uh- i just didn’t feel like it”. “come on y/n. you can tell us. we’re your best friends”, annie said, trying to encourage her best friend.

“because i like abed okay?!”, y/n blurted quietly. the room went quiet.

“uh- um- yeah i- sorry abed. but yeah i like you”, she started, still not looking up at him. “i get really panicked around you and so i’ve been avoiding you and the library and anthropology classes because i have romantic feelings for—“, y/n's words got cut short as abed lifted her face up and pressed a kiss to her lips.

a gasp escaped annie as britta and troy fist bumped in the back. shirley placed her hands on her chest and smiled, wholeheartedly at the scene. after a few seconds, abed pulled away. “uh w-why’d you do that?”, y/n questioned, still on her toes from the kiss.

“i have romantic feelings for you too. i thought they were obvious”, abed admitted. “weren’t they obvious?”, he looked back at jeff who just shrugged.

“well at least now, she’s gonna be sleeping with someone” “jeff!”, britta said and hit him in the arm.

all rights go to @semisutopia on tumblr. please don't copy or plagiarise my work. that's really lame of you.

#community #x reader #community x reader #abed nadir #abed nadir x reader #abed x reader #fluff #community fic #abed nadir fluff #imagine #scenario #headcanon

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hockeyisit · 3 years

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maybe a morning to night blurb of a typical day-off for auston and amelia??💫💕

A.N Hii loved this request thanks so much! Hope you enjoy it!!

Word Count: 3,235

Masterlist

I rolled over reaching out to cuddle closer to Auston only to find the bed empty. Letting out a small groan I pushed myself into a sitting position as I looked around for my missing boyfriend. Auston had the day off as well as tomorrow and it was the first time in almost two weeks. I was really looking forward to spending the whole day with him. I turned towards my bedside dresser reaching out for my phone to check the time.

9:34

I groan loudly annoyed that Auston was out of bed before ten. I slowly pulled myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and pee. Once I was done I pulled on the first sweatshirt I saw, which happened to be Auston’s Guchi Bear sweatshirt, and left myself in my underwear. I slowly made my way out of our bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen where I could hear quiet music playing and the sound of something cooking.

Auston was standing at the stove shirtless cooking what looked like an omelet and some turkey bacon. I breathed in happily as I smelled the food. Auston and I had gone out last night because we knew we would have the day to recover. It had ended up being a late night which was why I was so surprised Auston had made it out of bed before ten.

“Smells good babe,” I mumbled into his shoulder as I slid my arms around his waist from behind. He jumped slightly before relaxing into my hold.

“You're awake,” he smiled as he turned around to wrap me into a hug. I let out a deep relaxed breath as I breathed him in.

“I was missing you,” I mumbled leaning forward slightly to peck his lips.

“Sorry I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. I figured I would do something useful and make breakfast,” he said as he turned back to the food.

“Well I am always okay with you making me breakfast,” I grinned at him as I made my way over to the fridge and opened it up only to find very limited options.

“Hey Aus,” I called out to him.

“Hmm?” he asked, not looking away from the bacon.

“We need to go grocery shopping. We only have beer and salsa in the fridge,” I said as I looked through the very empty shelves. I grabbed the Britta out of the fridge and turned to set it on the counter before grabbing out two cups.

“I know,” he whined as he reached out for the glass of water and took a sip.

“Next time you have a day off I better find you in bed when I wake up. I don't like when you hit it and then leave in the morning,” I whined as I wrapped my arms around his neck. A small smile came across his face as he wrapped his left arm around my waist and held me tight against him.

“Alright babe. I’m sorry,” he apologized, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I hugged him back for another moment before going over to the chairs at the island and sitting down. Auston reached over into the cabinet and pulled out two plates setting them on the counter.

“You know for the longest time when I lived on my own I didn't own dishes. I just used paper,” Auston said as he started to put food onto the Corelle plates. I looked up at him with shock clear as day on my face.

“No way,” I laughed loudly. He grinned at me before nodding his head.

“I got chirped pretty bad for it but I was a slob and didn't want to do dishes,” Auston admitted sliding a plate in front of me.

“Well, I’m really glad I met you after that phase,” I teased as I poked him gently. He laughed as he pulled out the stool next to me and handed a fork over.

“Thank you,” I smiled as I took the fork from him.

“I was thinking maybe we could get lunch somewhere and then go grocery shopping?” Auston offered. I took a bite of my food moaning in delight as I nodded my head. I never ate breakfast unless it was made for me and I always enjoyed it when Auston made bacon and omelets.

“Sounds good what were you thinking?” I asked after I finished chewing.

“Sushi?” he suggested. I grinned before nodding my head. It had been so long since I had sushi.

“Okay,” the two of us finished eating quickly. Auston finishing first he stood up bringing his plate over to the sink. Once I was finished he grabbed mine and brought it over. He then turned around to face me and leaned against the counter.

“I don't want to do the dishes,” he finally said breaking the comfortable silence. I stood up from my chair and made my way over to him. Once I was within reaching distance he reached out and pulled me in close, his hands falling to my waist.

“You look so good when you wear my sweatshirts,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to my forehead before pulling me closer so that my face was resting on his shoulder. I grinned up at him as I reached forward to press a kiss to his lips. His hands slid down my waist so that they were resting on my ass.

“And you look so good when you don’t wear clothes,” I teased as I ran my hand across his chest. His eyes followed the movement of my hand before he pulled me into another deep kiss. We stood there making out for another few moments before I felt something nudge my leg. We pulled away to look down at Felix who was whining at our feet.

“Aww it looks like someone wants attention,” I cooed as I bent down to pet his head. Felix leaned into the touch before turning to beg Auston for attention.

“He probably needs to go out,” Auston mumbled as he reached down to pet him. I stood up again and gave Auston another quick kiss before turning to the dishes.

“How about you take him out. I do the dishes and then we meet up in the shower when we’re done,” I suggested as I turned the warm water on. He sent smirk my way before reaching out to me. I raised my eyebrow questionably.

“Does that sound good?” I asked. He nodded.

“I need a shirt any chance I can have my sweatshirt?” he asked through a grin. I threw my head back as I laughed. I reached down and started to pull it off but Auston stopped me before I fully could.

“Wait babe I thought you had something on under that. I’m not going to make you wash the dishes naked. I’ll go grab something,” he said as he made his way to the bedroom. He came back out wearing a Leaf’s sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants.

I quickly started in on the dishes as I waited for Auston to get back from his walk. Just as I was finishing the last dish Auston walked in with Felix. I put the dish in the dryer rack and made my way back to Auston’s bedroom climbing under the covers. I put my phone back on the bedside table and closed my eyes as I comfortably sprawled out on the bed.

“You showering?” Auston asked, making his way towards the bathroom and taking off his sweats and sweatshirt.

“I want to sleep a little longer,” I mumbled as I shoved my face into the pillow. He made his way over to the bed and hovered over me. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek before deciding better of it and climbing into bed next to me.

“I’ll nap with you,” he said resting his head on my chest. I let out a light laugh as I ran my hand through his hair gently.

-----

“Thank you for taking me for sushi,” I told Auston as he paid the tab. He grinned at me brightly before shrugging.

“No problem babe,” he said standing up and grabbing my coat and holding it out for me. I quickly pilled it on and then the two of us made our way out of the restaurant to my car. I hopped into the driver’s seat and put on my seatbelt.

“Which grocery store did you want to go to?” I asked him as I put the car into reverse. We had a few different ones that we went to like, Walmart if we needed basic things, a local Mexican shop when Auston was feeling homesick.

“Walmart,” he responded as he pulled his phone out. I nodded my head as I started my way to the closest Walmart.

“Willy just sent me a funny meme look,” he said showing me his phone at the stoplight. It was a video of a guy going down a kid slide but the slide was really powerful and he got yeeted off instead. I laughed loudly as I turned my attention back to the road. Willy was kind of the meme king and was always sending things to Auston and me. We actually had a groupchat with the three of us that we used to send Tik Toks back and forth. It was mostly just Willy and I that sent Tik Toks but Auston always watched them so I didn’t mind that much.

“He sent me the best Tik Tok ever the other day. Remind me to show it to you later,” I said as I pulled into a parking space. He looked up from his phone at me and nodded his head. We both unbuckled and made our way out of the car.

“Do you have the list?” Auston asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I wrapped my arm around him.

“Yeah, it’s in my purse,” I pulled away from him to grab it out of my purse as he went to grab a cart. I sent him a grateful smile. I was convinced that I was the worst cart picker in the world. Every time I went to the grocery store alone I picked a cart with a messed up wheel or it was squeaky.

“Where to first?” he asked as he pushed his up to his sweatshirt sleeves.

“Produce we need, lettuce, onion, jalapeno, serrano peppers, uh, cilantro, tomatoes, green onion, and-”

“How did our list get so long?” Auston asked as he reached out to pick up some of the things on the list.

“I haven’t gone shopping since we last did,” I mumbled feeling a little embarrassed. The last time we had gone to the grocery store was almost three weeks ago. He looked at me with a slightly judgy face before breaking out into loud laughter.

“Babe that was three weeks ago what the hell have you been eating?” he asked, picking out a few tomatoes. I reached over and grabbed some limes and lemons.

“Well, it’s not like we're out of food completely. I’ve been making those rice packets I bought and I go to Steph’s for dinner a lot,” I said shrugging my shoulders. I didn’t really like to be alone so whenever Auston was away I tried to hang out with a friend and because of that I tended to go out to eat more often than not.

“Real healthy babe,” Auston said and then snatched the list out of my hand. I gasped as I raised my hand to my heart.

“Auston, are you judging me?” I asked, moving my hand to my hip. He glanced up from the list with his eyebrow raised.

“No babe,” he replied sweetly as he started pushing the cart in the direction of the next thing we needed on the list.

“I don’t like to grocery shop alone,” I admitted loud enough for him to hear but only because we were standing so close. We stopped to look for the item we needed on the shelf. He wrapped his arm around my waist and tucked his hand into my back pocket pulling me closer to him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled sadly. I shook my head as I pushed away from him to grab the sauce I was looking for off the shelf.

“Don’t be.”

----

��If you can carry the bags I can probably carry the beer and the water up,” Auston said, stacking them on top of each other. I reached out and grabbed all of the bags and then shut the trunk as I led the way to our apartment. Unlocking the door I push it open, immediately we were being greeted by an excited Felix.

“Hi puppy, I missed you,” I grinned down at him as I pushed my way into the apartment setting the bags on the counter. I started putting things away, as I closed the fridge Auston came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You look so good babe,” he mumbled against my neck as he placed a gentle kiss there. I blushed bright red as I turned around in his hold. No matter what he always made me feel like a blushing teenager. He started trailing kisses over my neck and just as he got to my ear I pushed him away.

“Aus, stop. We have to take Felix for a walk,” I told him sternly as I dodged his arms on my way to the front door.

“Felix,” I called out loudly. He immediately came running towards us with a bark. I laughed lightly as I reached down to pick up the leash. Once I had him leashed up I turned to face Auston.

“Are you coming with?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. He huffed as he made his way over to the door.

“Yeah I’m coming,” he slipped into his shoes before putting his coat on. We both stepped out of the apartment and made our way down the hall to the elevator. Auston pulled me into him as we waited for the elevator. When the doors opened it revealed Freddie Anderson. I let out a soft smile as we joined him in the elevator.

“Hey Fredzila,” Auston grinned as he followed me into the elevator. Freddie let out a soft laugh as he sent us a shy smile. Felix jumped up on Freddie causing me to let out a small gasp as I reached out to pull him down.

“Felix no,” I told him sternly. He quickly listened and leaned back on his paws.

“Where you guys headed?” he asked.

“Just taking him out for a walk. Where are you going?” I said before Auston had a chance. Freddie grinned as he turned to look away.

“Just going out,” he laughed.

“Wow sounds secretive,” I mumbled as I glanced over to Auston hoping he would know something. The door opened before any of us had a chance to say anything else.

“Hey so uh this summer I’m going home for the like two months. I was wondering if you’d wanna come and stay at my house with me? You could meet my friends and like all my family?” Auston asked after a few moments of silence. I sucked in a sharp breath looking up at him. He was rubbing his neck an obvious sign that he was nervous for my answer. I nodded my head as we stopped walking. Felix in the middle of taking a bathroom break.

“I’d love to Aus,” I grinned as I reached out for his hand closest to me. He pulled me into a side hug as a huge grin spread across his face.

“I was also wondering if I could meet your family this summer,” he said gently. I pulled away from him slightly as I tensed up. Talking about my family had always made me uncomfortable considering his family was so loving and open while mine hadn’t always been that way after my mom died.

“Yeah, we could plan that,” I finally answered taking a deep breath in. He sent me another soft smile before turning us around to make our way back to the apartment.

Once we got back to the apartment Auston made a snack for himself before following me into the living room. He sat down on the couch next to me wrapping his left arm around me. I leaned against him slightly as I scrolled through my Instagram.

“Want to play switch?” I asked looking away from my phone towards Auston. He looked away from his food as he nodded excitedly. I hopped up from the couch and grabbed the remotes from the switch that was already connected to the tv.

“What game?” he asked as he switched the channel.

“Mario Party please,” he nodded his head as he pulled it open. Auston chose Luigi as his character and I chose Goomba. He then selected the team party and started the game.

----

“Hey I’m going to make dinner,” I mumbled as I pulled out of Auston’s hold. After we had finished our Mario Party game we had turned on Grey’s Anatomy, my favorite show. Auston and I had dozed off but now that I was awake I was ready to make dinner.

“Okay,” Auston grumbled as he spread himself out on the couch. I made my way into the kitchen and pulled the fridge open. I stared in as I tried to decide what to do for dinner. We had so many different options, tacos, soup, steak, hamburgers. Closing the fridge I turned to our cabinets. After another moment of deciding, I pulled some rice out and brought it over to the stove. Rice and tacos it is.

“Smells good,” Auston said making his way into the kitchen thirty minutes later. I turned to face him as I grinned.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“I was thinking we could eat out on the balcony?” Auston asked as he made his way over to me and wrapping me up in a hug. I leaned back into him. He smelled so good.

“Okay,” I whispered as I stirred the meat around. I pulled the rice off the stove and moved it to the counter.

“Food’s ready,” I said softly. We both made our plates and made our way outside. I gasped softly as I took in the candles set up on the table.

“This is beautiful Aus,” I grinned as I sat down across from him. He sent me a soft smile before digging into his tacos.

“I think you make these better than my mom,” Auston said causing me to let out a soft laugh.

“Thanks, babe it’s my secret recipe,” I winked at him. When we finished eating Auston led me to our bedroom.

“Want to watch a movie?” he asked laying down on the bed next to me. He grabbed the remote and turned the tv on.

“Marvel,” I responded as I rested my head on his chest. I was so tired.

“Alright,” he responded as he clicked through the different options before settling on Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I cuddled up closer to him causing him to wrap his arm around me and I fell asleep cuddled up to him with a smile on my face.

#toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #toronto maple leafs fanfic #toronto maple leafs fic #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl x reader #auston matthews x reader #auston matthews fanfic #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fic #auston matthews

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omgitsaddyc · 3 years

Text

I was in my oc feelings this morning, and this happened!

1.2k words of unadulterated Kvyat Fogwyn Feelings :D I wrote like he was writing in a journal over the course of leaving to find Rikka, re-meeting Jason, finding Rikka, and returning to Larkridge to clear her name.

For Shards of Light peeps: My version of this story is a bit different from the campaign’s storyline, for reference.

cw for depressive/suicidal thoughts, injury mention, and Kvyat’s swear-filled internal monologue :P

9/26

The name’s Kvyat Fogwyn. I’m not great at talking about my feelings and shit, so uh...bear with me I guess.

This stupid journal is honestly a last resort. There’s no one left here for me. That’s probably unfair to my parents, but it’s not like they ever really cared. Once they figured out I had a few screws loose they just kinda tolerated me.

I’m getting the hell outta here as soon as I can. I don’t have any plans, but I figure if I just start walking, maybe I’ll eventually find Ri. If she even wants to talk to me. The least I can do is explain what happened, and if I’m lucky she might understand. If not, maybe I’ll just let her slit my throat. It’s what I deserve at this point.

Even after three years of following Britta around I still couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on with her. Guess this is why I stick to bringing people in instead of all the investigation shit.

It’s almost the anniversary of when Ri had to leave. I’ll never forget that fuckin’ day. I’ll never forget how intense her gaze felt. I’m glad I never looked up to see it, but I can still feel the hairs stand up on the back of my neck when I think about it. We...we were supposed to have each other’s backs no matter what, and I ruined it. The one thing I promised her and I fuckin’-

Sorry. This is still too hard to talk about. Dunno why I’m apologizing to a book. Every time I start to think about that day, these intense feelings bubble up from my stomach and it makes me wanna jump out of the tallest tree I can find. I hate it. I hate everything I’ve done, everything I wasn’t strong enough to do...I’m worthless.

Going out to find Ri...this is the last thing I’ll do. If I can’t find her, well...sorry to whoever finds this. Take my shit and go buy yourself somethin’ nice. Just leave me for the wolves.

9/30

Something really fuckin’ stupid happened yesterday.

I went to the market to get a few things for my trip, and sell off anything I wouldn’t be needing anymore. All but cleaned out my old room. Less for my parents to deal with later.

So I accidentally kicked a stupid rabbit that was crossing the road. It was crowded and I didn’t see it until it was too late, but I felt bad. So I took the thing back to our shed and let it stay there to rest up.

This morning I go out there, and there’s no rabbit. Just that fuckin’ Grunwick dude. I haven’t seen him in years, and there he was sitting in the hay with a gash across his eye. Heard he fucked off to the woods, and he was better off out there. Dunno when or why he came back, but it took a moment to figure out he was the rabbit. Fucker’s a weird shapeshifter or somethin’. I don’t get it, but it doesn’t matter because I kicked him out.

I plan on leavin’ in about a week. Haven’t told my folks, but they’re used me leavin’ all the time for work. It’ll be fine.

10/10

I left three days ago, and we just made it to the city.

Yeah. I wrote we. The fuckin’ Grunwick followed me. Caught me right before I left and said I’d never make it out there by myself. I’ve been through the woods alone before and yeah, it’s not always the best when you gotta sleep and there’s no one to keep watch, but...whatever. Guess it wouldn’t mean much if I bit it before I even get the chance to find Ri.

So I let him come with. At least he knows his way around the forest, and he doesn’t talk much. Oh, yeah. And he’s got healing magic. That unfortunately already came in handy. Wasn’t my fault I got attacked by a damn angry boar. This never leaves this book but...I’m kinda glad Jason’s here. I probably would’ve bled out in the woods without him.

We gotta go find somewhere to stay for the night. I’m tired of sleepin’ on the ground, and my hair’s startin’ to get gross. We’ll stay here for a day or so to regroup and restock, and maybe I can find some intel on where Ri might be. This is probably just a weird gut feeling, but it feels like she’s not too far away.

10/28

We found Ri. And she’s coming back with us. My tracking skills aren’t total garbage, I guess.

We ended up going through two more towns, but I picked up her trail and it wasn’t too hard to find her after that. Now all we gotta do is get back to Larkridge, and prove her innocence. Between the three of us, I think we got this.

Spending all this time with Jason on the road’s been...fine. He’s not a bad traveling companion even though he likes to sleep in, and eats more sugar than any one person ever should. There are worse things, I guess. Ri called him my boyfriend which. No. No! Not in a million years. I mean, I don’t hate the guy but. I don’t know.

Shut up you stupid book.

11/7

Ri left again today, but this time on her own terms. She’s still got an evil queen to take down with her new friends.

Reading back to my first entry in this stupid thing kinda hurts now. I know it’s only been a little over a month, but a lot’s changed. For the first time in a while I...don’t want to disappear.

I know it’s only been a little more than a week since I wrote last, and uh. Well. Things happened. It’s been a long week, okay?!

So, we found Britta. She was possessed. She had been since before Rikka left. We found out she fucked around with some planar shit, opened herself up to a demon, and the rest is history. Between Ri’s new friends and Jason, we managed to save her. She’s resting up at home with Ri’s parents. She doesn’t know what happened over the last three years. She doesn’t know she killed Jason’s mom. We’ve gotta figure out how to tell her, but that’ll be a problem for future Ri, probably.

I’m resting up too, because Brit managed to get me good with her knife before we took her down. Just a hole in the chest, nothing too major. Jason didn’t take it well. Turns out...goddess this is sappy as shit but-

Turns out Jason never forgot about when we met at that festival all those years ago. I never forgot either, it just…

I didn’t think it would ever work. I was wrong. I’m so glad I was wrong.

Maybe Ri’s boyfriend accusation is more realistic now.

Shut up, you stupid book. Gonna throw this in the damn fire so no one can ever find it and make fun of me.

I gotta get some rest. Fogwyn, signing off.

#oc stuff #Addy writes #Fogwyn lovin' hours #cw: suicidal thoughts #cw: injury mentions

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goblinconceivable · 4 years

Text

All The Feels

Random bulletpoints of Annie/Jeff analysis because I am overcome with shippiness. :D Also more like bullet-lengthy-paragraphs. You tried, self, you tried.

Pascal’s Triangle (PT) is not a love triangle.

Sure, look at the top two rows and you’ve got a binary split, ie, choice between two women. But PT is row based, your current row based on the one above. It’s complex. Look below the binary surface of choice to row 3, where it actually becomes PT, where the complexity begins (and Community is about complexity.) 1, 2, 1, a total of 4. The 2 is the merging of the two 1s from row two - Ie, two women who get lumped together. And beyond them is a 1 that springs out of nowhere - Annie. Surprise!

Kiss at the end of S1

Jeff’s major deal is being afraid of expressing caring/vulnerability, while desperately craving/needing it. Britta and Slater were both saying they loved him, and he does want to take that, but runs scared because they are challenging him to admit his feelings in public, which no one who really knows and cares about him would do. His scene with Annie is private. And she isn’t asking him FOR anything, she’s just asking what’s up, because she cares about the answer. He feels safe, he opens up, it’s intimacy, which is both giving and taking. Notably he admits he’s glad she’s staying after his share, this is him saying he cares about her too.

His explanation of the situation is a perceived choice between being the New Year’s guy (who he wants to be) and the Three Weeks Later guy (who he is.) But the thing about New Year’s is the initial momentum always fades, and you have to put in the work, which Slater doesn’t help him with. And he WON’T be able to sustain it on is own. The guy he IS isn’t who he wants to be, it’s just giving up, rather than striving, even if imperfectly, to reach those goals. Annie falls into the sweet spot: she understands what his default is, but shows him that he CAN be the man he wants to be, shows him what those steps ARE, encourages him to take the steps to be that person, and rewards him when he succeeds. Which he does, with her behind him.

And she kisses him first. Which is an offering similar to Britta and Slater’s public announcements, but through action, not words. Jeff uses words as shield and weapon, as did the other two. Bypassing this essentially shortcircuits his brain. His brain will warp and analyze and question, but she kisses him gently, an invitation not a demand. He’s already put aside his sword and shield during their talk, and doesn’t feel the need to pick them up because he feels safe and cared for and is okay accepting and reciprocating that.

Play

Jeff is all adult and aloof and beyond such petty childish pursuits such as play, which is the scoffed at domain of Annie/Troy/Abed. But he actually really wants it. It likely stems in part from his loss of a proper childhood, but it’s also just who he is. Imagination isn’t just for the young, the loss of the ability to play is an oft-bemoaned feature of adulthood, one the learned remind us we ought recapture. (And a joy of parenthood is getting to do that through your children.) But look, he literally was playacting being a lawyer. It’s how he engages with the world. He just justified that as a means to an end and did it for power and profit, rather than for enjoyment.

We see this, I argue, when responding to Annie’s playacting they were married. Annie anticipates a bad reaction, but he doesn’t give one. No judgment. He then establishes it’s not a deeper issue (”do I have to worry about this” ie, is this real/insanity). When he says “I can tell you one thing your fantasy got wrong...” he’s not challenging her, or even taking offense, and while he’s not entering into her fantasy world (which is over anyway), he’s offering fodder. He’s involving himself in the narrative process for her benefit. And in the couched language of daydream he’s reassuring her -if- it was true, he would be devoted. IF is a super important word in play, because you don’t have to believe, for example, you ARE a pirate. You just need to act as IF you were a pirate.

Also cute, I take as justified fanon the deleted scene where he orders her appletini. He was whining to her about it but it was relaxed because they both know he’d do it anyway. And when the bartender turns out to be a believer in Annie’s created fantasy world, Jeff stops himself from correcting him and destroying the world. Instead, he lets it persist just far enough to let himself glance at Annie as if it was true, and in that moment he sees her through the eyes of fantasy, and sees a beautiful woman, rather than all the complexity of their relationship.

Then there’s basically all the giant Greendale instances of play. Which one way or the other, he gets roped into and ends up jumping into with abandon. (Paintball, lava etc.) And they’re often paired, because he enjoys playing with her, and the “if this” acts as license for them to explore their compatibility. And their capers, when they pair up in the “real world”, is really just a sophisticated form of play. As brought up pointedly when they were searching for the ASB, there’s a dual nature here. They aren’t just buddies, like Troy and Abed, who are also very fantasy oriented (cardboard submarine!). There’s a level of daydream beneath the fantasy world where they can set aside the complexities of their relationship, and say “if we’re solving this crime, then we can live in this bubble and just be together.”

I also really love the whole Professor Professorson episode because of course the layers are just so intricate and delightful when they unfold. He tackles her which was total overreaction, he’s in a heightened world and committed to it. They plot out this crazy intricate play to teach the Dean a lesson together, where they involve real emotions. Many of which are Annie’s, but that means they’re creating a world in which it is safe to amplify her feelings which they are both aware of but are usually repressed, especially by Jeff. And he praises her for that later (she went off book and deceived like a master) rather than being uncomfortable. They exit play safely because they trust each other while playing and can leave that permissive world as an if. And it ends with the blanket fort collapsing and cocooning them. It is a play space literally being broken, begging the question of how much impact our play can have on our real selves.

Season 6

So basically I think I missed fandom the first time around and just binged on meta and there’s (fanon?) that Jeff spent the season looking for her attention, but Annie had pulled back? I zipped through a bunch of scenes they were in together, and heartily agree. Also I think I went a little nutty but What I see:

Annie doesn’t ignore him or anything, but where she might have previously inserted herself in his life, she starts to let him fend for himself while she diverts her attention to other relationships, and treats him more like she does the others. I don’t think she really does anything like taking his class so she can evaluate his teaching and bludgeon him into being better? But when they’re in a situation, like City College’s ad, she stands up to him as normal, challenging him to be better and do the right thing, as she always has. Rewards him with approval when he does, and his whispered “thank you” is the cutest thing ever because it’s an intimate choice in a rather boisterous exchange.

Meanwhile Jeff does seem to spend a lot of time and energy trying to get back to a place where he’s first in her eyes. There are a lot of shots in S6 a the Table and group scenes that involve him looking at her disproportionately, first, last, or only when speaking, esp when they’re all at the table. When I went back and tried to do the same to S5 those scenes are set up a bit differently and I saw less of it but I think there’s just fewer group scenes in general though?. In S6, he often ends a comment directed at the group (non table) by looking at Annie, indicating he wants her response, and thus her attention and engagement. And often, she is the next person to speak. Which is her personality as a leader, which supports the idea that while he’s seeking her out, she isn’t necessarily responding to that but just being her.

Finale

I’ve sort of run myself dry thinking through other things. And great analysis is plentiful and most recent. So not even bullet points just ramble But:

Oh3, so when Garrett proposed and Abed noted Jeff had a funny look, he’s been daydreaming marrying Annie for that lone plus longer? That took me a long time to put together as an actual literal thing.

Oh2, it’s all canon that he has issues with prolonged eye contact because he doesn’t want people to see him broken and he doesn’t break eye contact through any of this. He knows she knows he’s broken already and is quietly fine with her seeing everything and this is a moment for *sobs*

Oh wait hey, so callback to that bit where she’s like “your words don’t mean anything” and he’s like “That’s what conversation is, people saying things to get stuff.” Because he’s 100% not trying to get anything by telling her he’s let her go. And he means a lot by saying it. And if he said “I love you” there’s an implied sense of obligation to say it back and since he means romantically he can’t do that. So this is just him letting her know, no pressure, no expectation, that he loves her and has loved her but it’s okay because she’s free and he wants her to be free because he loves her. And he means it so hard when she says “kiss me goodbye” he’s all “you don’t owe me anything.”

But she does love him too, except she knows she’s in a different place emotionally and professionally. And it’s sweet and a gift because she doesn’t make this about her but about him and his feelings. So she preempts his regrets because she knows he WON’T kiss her goodbye unless she invites him to. There’s something I’m reaching for and can’t find here. She doesn’t admit to anything because there’s no point? It would just hurt him either way? Sharing her feelings through action rather than words?

And so much squee thinking how far everyone’s come for this scene to be a thing which could happen.

Callback to Annie’s marriage fantasy when Jeff has his own. Hers was external, by her personality (esp at the time of her maturation) and thus public and psychologically working out a reasonable feeling of abandonment as she gave their fictional selves marital difficulties. His is very internal, and occurs after Abed, always so reliable as a gateway to fantasy, turns the tables on him. He’s experiencing reasonable feelings of abandonment, and while he runs, it’s to a safe space of “what if,” a coping mechanism he has learned, and which allows for working out of psychological issues.

It’s dual: in that the larger issue is his need for a sense of stability. Though he’s staring at the table the scene doesn’t involve Greendale at all, he already had that fantasy. This is about wanting a life outside of the safe zone of the college. And while he suggests a dog as an option he imagined a kid because having one represents stability for him - it was his father who left, and he won’t leave. If there’s a kid, this is a life, Annie can’t leave. But he offers her imaginary self complete editing powers, because all he really wants is to be able to love and be loved. It’s indulgence, a desperate grasp at balm because while he let her go, he can’t let her -go.- He was okay with being close friends, they do love each other as friends. See his pitch. But faced with losing that, he’s stripped bare. He indulges in his supressed hearts desire and is faced with the reality of what he already knows: it’s not in the cards.

And he’s stripped down to insecurities that aren’t limited to Annie. It’s cute how they jive over Marvel, though it’s weird to me and takes up more time and weird dramatic looking around that doesn’t feel playful enough to be justified. The tone of their voices is too serious, it’s a mismatch. I like how he admits the huge thing that he let her go as far as he has control, and suddenly a time pressure is on their alone time. Everything is immediate right now, everything happening fast. I wonder what Annie would have said if not for the text. But that’s the thing, it’s the wrong time for them and this is a goodbye. It’s too late but just under the wire all at once.

In this chapter at least. In the safety of the group Annie brings up a season 7, which we all know could happen years down the line. Would have been more fitting if she said movie though. Still, he takes that as the comfort in which it was intended.

WTF with his all coed season 7? Yes, we cut to it so it totally isn’t happening, but has he put his issues to rest and is just fantasizing crap or what? It makes no sense to me.

I love that he not only puts her first after she invites him to kiss her goodbye by asking “what about you,” but is -asking for consent.- He doesn’t even move towards her until he gets it, he’s literally just standing back. What’s up with the penis thing? Meta reference to shortcut arguments that it’s not true love but lust? Is it Jeff acknowledging his own cynicism and how he’s dropped it? Since he’s so clearly not in a lust mode here. Is he adding a tiny bit of his usual pointed add ins to his speeches?

I guess it’s like... this is one of his speeches, but it feels out of place because of his delivery? Which is beautifully subdued and resigned and honest and just defeated, but defeated in the sense that he defeated all the barriers he still keeps around himself.

and goodbye hug and kiss at the airport.

#community #jeff x annie #meta

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greenandhazy · 4 years

Text

ppl in the Trobed discord asked if I had more future headcanons for Rickie and Leon (Troy and Abed’s kids from my Nadir-Barnes Canon verse) when they grow up and I was THRILLED because idk if I’m going to write more in that verse (writing too far into the future makes me wary for some reason? like how can I just pretend I have ANY concept of what the 2030s will be like) but YES I HAVE THOUGHTS:

Rickie grows up to be a confident, outgoing person, the life of the party and everyone’s de facto big brother, although he does struggle a bit more with those early traumas and is more self-conscious about identity issues, so that confidence is the result of intermittent therapy and mindfulness

Such as, for example, morning prayer with Abed, which leads to him expressing more of an interest in Islam--sometime in late elementary/early middle school he transfers to a mainstream school that’s close enough for him to walk to a nearby after school program, and eventually formally converts. (Leon doesn’t feel the need for that and Abed doesn’t feel the need to push.) so yeah, another trilingual in the family heyyyyy.

Neither of the kids are fluent in Polish, although they hear it occasionally from Abed around the home.

He likes to dance as a hobby, although not so much modern--he likes jazz and hip-hop, things that are more high-energy. He and Troy have a LOT of spontaneous dance parties around the house. But starting in middle school, spoken word poetry and rap become his real big things and he eventually goes on to have a music career--think early Childish Gambino, Chance the Rapper vibes. (Leon achieves minor TikTok stardom for his ASL covers at one point.) He likes to run them by Troy first, and Troy and Abed are the ultimate hype men.

Abed is always really careful to seek out opportunities to connect with both kids, and they’re both written into Voyage of the Starship Legacy in some way... but it’s Leon’s. He thinks of it like a personal bedtime story that happens to have been made into a feature film, and it’s his comfort rewatch. In general he’s more of a fan of Abed’s stuff because he likes the meta aspects, and while Rickie enjoys them too, that’s not really his style as much, you know?

(I mentioned in one of the fics, Rickie is Abed’s ego-shrinker. If people find out Rickie and Leon are Abed’s kids they’ll be like “omg that’s so cool!” and Leon will be like “haha yeah” awkwardly and Rickie will say “cool? lol right, it’s the nerdiest thing about me.”)

Subsequently, Leon is always really excited when Troy suggests they go sailing. Rickie is enthusiastic in theory but usually gets bored once they’re out on the open sea, so this becomes Troy and Leon’s Thing, especially as he gets older and is less easily entertained by funny voices and faces. He just finds the open ocean very soothing and, yknow, parallels between sailing and space exploration or whatever. He really loves hearing Troy’s stories about his trip.

He’s more of a shy person, especially around people his own age--definitely not an entertainer the way the rest of the family is, and has a bit of a dryer sense of humor. One of his hobbies growing up is drawing, and there’s a running joke in the extended (found) family that someday Abed is going to produce an animated film illustrated by Leon modeled on Troy’s dance troupe with a soundtrack by Rickie. Cut to Leon’s sophomore year of college, when he announces that....... his major is astrophysics and he has a summer internship at NASA

(you can’t prove I was rewatching The Martian when I came up with this) (I just love the idea of Abed’s kids being just as phenomenally successful but one in in a Very different way, also I think the study group’s reaction would be very funny for some reason) (come on guys, he’s been very into space for a long time, this shouldn’t be a surprise, right?

Sometime around middle school, Leon starts not only not putting his hearing aids in, but leaving them at home when he goes out. Troy and Abed always prefer he have them as a backup, and a very common dad joke in their household is “You’d lose your ears if they weren’t attached to your head--oh, wait.” Eventually he admits that yeah, he’s “forgetting” them on purpose, partly because he’s getting tired of Questions and Looks, partly as an act of defiance because he dislikes the expectation that he wants to hear all the time, partly because it makes him feel Some Kind of Way that he doesn’t actually need them--that between his family, his school, his community, and even the cashier at the bodega across the street who taught himself a few signs, he really can get plenty of social interaction and communication just using ASL and he likes that feeling. (Troy is especially touched by that, given that he does not have Abed’s gift for languages and learning ASL took more effort for him.)

They both really enjoy traveling. The family makes semi-regular trips to Arizona and wherever Annie ends up with the FBI, but spend the most time in Colorado--especially in the summers. Gobi is still grumpy but spoils the kids rotten, and they like being the cool older cousins of Jeff and Britta’s kid. the Bennett boys are a little older but Rick and Leon are always trying to convince them to get into Shenanigans, and when they do, they reach a whole new level of shenanigans. Shirley is Tired.

They come back from Colorado with more complimentary Greendale merch than you could ever imagine. the Dean knows they’re not going to go there but..... he can try. Rickie gets his first taste of alcohol from Britta. Leon goes to Annie for girl advice when he gets his first crush because he figures his dads are way too gay to be helpful. Jeff takes them out to play paintball all the time (in like... actual, legit paintball--fields? idek what they’re called) and regales them with tales of Greendale paintball, which they had been 100% sure their dads were exaggerating until Jeff stepped in. They think Chang is putting on a hilarious act for like their entire childhoods and are solely responsible for portions of Chang’s “I Never Die” song becoming a meme among LA schoolchildren.

oh and I don’t have, like, faceclaims for them or anything but I picture Rickie wearing lots of bright colors and being ultimately like an inch or two shorter than his little brother, which offends him deeply, and Leon tends to wear his hair a little longer, like..... Power Rangers-era Eka Darville.

ANYWAY those are the things that have been milling around in my head the last couple of weeks. I have very strong feelings about this children I made up <3 <3 <3

#trobed

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chaoticsagi · 5 years

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FICTOBER 2019 | DAY TWO | “JUST FOLLOW ME, I KNOW THE AREA”

Prompt: 2 - “Just follow me, I know the area.”

Fandom & Ship: Community, Jeff x Annie

Summary: Jeff, Britta and Troy fly to DC to surprise Annie, but without Annie there to plan it all, it kind of falls apart.

“We’re lost,” Troy whines behind him, his voice rings in Jeff’s ears. This is the fifth time that Troy has moaned in the last 3 minutes and Jeff’s starting to lose his patience with him.

He thinks to himself how, if they had listened to him earlier and actually followed the map he had out on his phone, they wouldn’t even be in this mess. But then his phone died, and then so did Troy’s. Now they had no map, no address, no hints as to where the hell they should be headed.

He pictures them all in Annie’s apartment, imaging them with a hot drink and their feet up on her sofa, listening to her tell a story in her animated Annie fashion. He tries to ignore the fact that they’re currently roaming the streets of DC hopelessly in a desperate attempt to find her apartment building in the cold air. Their luggage drags along behind them and they can’t ignore how tired, bored and cold they all feel.

The thought of seeing Annie again was the only thing keeping Jeff going at this point. Even if Britta and Troy were there with him. He does kind of wish he could see her alone, but when he announced his plans to his friends, they all begged to join him, and Jeff couldn’t say no.

“Just follow me, I know the area,” Britta says confidently, but it only causes her friends to groan. “I lived in New York, remember?”

“You do realise we are not in New York right now, right?” Jeff feels the need to check, unsure why Britta thinks her faux-knowledge of a completely different city will help her here and now. It’s one of those weird Britta-isms he’ll never understand, but he hopes for her sake she’s on to something. For the love of God, please let her be onto something.

“Shut up,” she nudges his side and storms past him, walking off down the street.

Troy and Jeff pick up pace to follow her, knowing they don’t really have much choice at this point, both their phones are dead and they have no idea where they were. They might as well not lose Britta, even if she is dead weight.

They wander aimlessly for a few more minutes? Hours? Days? Jeff’s lost track of time by this point, and every second seems to be crawling by agonisingly slow. It’s time to face facts, they have no clue where they are. He just wants to see Annie. Why is it so hard?

The idea of surprising Annie with an impromptu semi-group reunion seems stupid now that they couldn’t even find her. Jeff thinks back to their original, half-hatched plans and wonders whether they should’ve just got her to meet them at the airport. She’d probably be embarrassed with his poor planning skills, he thinks to himself after.

“Shall I just call her?” Britta asks 5 blocks later, and Jeff and Troy turn to each other, eyes full of anger (Jeff) and confusion (Troy).

“You’ve had a phone on you the whole time?!” They shout in unison.

“Duh doy. These phones last like a week without charging,” Britta pulls out a very outdated phone from her purse. It looks like a brick and Jeff’s pretty sure he can see an antenna sticking out of it. It looks like a lost relic from the late 80s. “It may not have all your fancy apps on it, but it does the trick.”

“Jeez Britta, how old is your phone?” Troy comments, curiously inspecting the device in her hand. “You seriously need an upgrade.”

Returning back to the task at hand, Jeff rubs his temples vividly. “So you’re meaning to tell us we could’ve called Annie hours ago? Did you seriously not think of that?”

“I thought the whole point of this was that it was a surprise,” she spits out.

He glares back at her. Her reasoning is stupid and he’s not afraid to tell her that.

“Shut up, Winger. Maybe if you didn’t spend the whole flight sorting through your selfies and draining your shitty phone battery, we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.”

Troy stifles a laugh and stops immediately when Jeff sends him a pointed look.

“I wasn’t even doing that,” he murmurs, mostly to himself. So what? He may have been looking through some old photos of the group all together, reminiscing about the last time he saw Annie… Didn’t mean anything though.

Britta presses call on Annie’s icon, putting the phone on speaker. They can all hear her flustered voice when she finally answers.

“Hi Britta,” Annie calls out in her familiar voice. It sends a chill down Jeff’s spine. That, or cold breeze that just picked up. “Is everything ok?”

“Heyyyy,” she drawls in response. Jeff and Troy stand by, listening in.

“You haven’t locked yourself out of the apartment again, have you? Is there a problem with the rent or something? Have you been robbed?”

“Nah, I’m all good,” Britta continues. “Actually, we do need your help… We’re a little lost.”

“Lost?” Annie’s voice is laced with concern, he can practically sense imagine her sitting at home, heart racing, eyes filled with panic. It’s a pretty cute picture, but he doesn’t want her to worry too much.

“We’re in D.C. but we don’t really know where we are right now… What’s your address again?” He sighs, feeling a bit bad they’ve ruined their surprise.

“Surprise!” Troy adds in before Annie can even react.

“You’re in DC?” is all she says before pausing for a moment. They wait, huddling further into their jackets, unsure if she sounds excited or not. “I’ll text it to you now Britta.”

“We’ll get a cab right over. Thanks, Annie!”

“I can’t believe you guys are here!” She jumps up and down as they walk into her apartment. It’s a tiny, tiny excuse for a place. The walls are bright yellow - very Annie - and the kitchen slash living room just about fits them all inside. Thank god the others hadn’t been able to make it; they were already at maximum capacity.

“I missed you,” Troy pulls her in for a big hug. “Plus I have to tell you all my pirate stories - something these two clearly don’t appreciate.” Troy sends Britta and Jeff a glare as he moves away.

Britta ignores him, approaching Annie next. “Your place is… cute,” she tries.

But in reality it’s cramped, and Jeff’s pretty sure he can feel a breeze coming in through the closed window, he mentally tells himself to check that out later.

He can tell she’s really tried to make it as homely as she can, with throws and pillows and little dashes of Annie about the place.

“Thanks,” Annie shrugs. “It’s the best I could do with my savings right now. Oh, and please thank your parents again for covering all the rent while I’m gone, I owe them.”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously.”

It’s Jeff’s turn next.

He’s finally standing in front of her, a moment he’s been picturing ever since he dropped her off at the airport with Abed. And yeah, he definitely never imagines Troy and Britta in all his fantasies, but he knows it’s nice for them to all have a group reunion so he’s not exactly complaining.

“Hey,” he breaths as she steps towards her. He feels a weight on his shoulders, full of words unsaid, longing and feelings. The woman he loves is stood there in front of him, and more than anything he wants to go over to her, pull her close, and press his lips on hers. But he can’t. Not right now, at least.

A silence lingers between them, before she moves closer and wraps her arms around his waist.

“Hey,” she near-whispers back into his chest and the vibration of her voice against him sends shockwaves around his body. For the first time in a while, he finally feels alive. It’s stupid and he tries to ignore it.

“Missed you,” he stops himself from saying more. He really doesn’t want to open his mouth and admits just how much he hates Greendale when she’s not there. He’s been getting by ok, and he doesn’t exactly want to scare her off.

She leans up to whisper in his ear, “I missed you the most.”

She smells like vanilla, all warm and homely and comforting all in one and he can’t help but let a smile dance across his features as he holds her.

“Break it up, guys,” Troy yells across the room, to which Britta adds some gagging noises for dramatic effect.

“Yeah. I didn’t come all this way to be a third wheel, Winger.”

Annie pushes herself out of his grasp, smiling at her houseguests.

“Who wants to go get dinner?”

Jeff stands by watching the three, all happily discussing where to go. He thinks to himself how lucky he is to have them all in his life still, how lucky he is that they’re all here together despite their Greendale days being long gone. He never could have imagined it would be like this, but he’s so glad it is.

This is it. This is his family.

They drop their things off at the hotel before heading for food, and because they all have so much to catch up on, they almost don’t notice the restaurant clearing out for closing time.

So they eventually end up at some random bar Annie recommends and it’s pretty packed inside. Full of people much younger than Jeff, he notes, but tries not to think about it too much.

His mind wanders to whether she’s moved on, found some young, good looking guy here in DC that’s more suited to her new FBI lifestyle than he is. But the thought makes his stomach churn and his head cloud with anxiety and insecurity and he thinks it’s best to leave those thoughts alone.

He ends up ordering himself a scotch while they all listen to Troy’s recap of his time in Australia and then sneaks out the entrance to the smoking area for some fresh air.

It all feels so surreal now, Jeff’s not really sure how to feel.

“You ok?” he recognises her voice immediately, and turns to spot a familiar head of brown, shiny hair and bright blue eyes looking up at him.

“I’m good,” he nods, his voice doing very little to mask his true emotions.

Not that it matters. He knows Annie can read him like an open book anyway. He doesn’t know why he bothers trying to hide anything from her.

“Just follow me,” she says, grabbing his hand. “Don’t worry, I know the area.”

He looks at her puzzled, remembering when Britta said the exact same thing. She giggles at his quizzical expression and winks back. Troy had told her the story earlier and she found it completely hilarious.

She leads him away from the bar, just down a quiet, secluded street around the corner. She’s walking faster than he’s ever seen her move and he wonders what her urgency is and where she’s taking him.

She doesn’t say anything, just stops abruptly outside a closed shop, and before he even has a chance to ask her what she’s doing, she leans onto her tip toes and slants her lips on top of his.

His heart explodes and his head goes fuzzy and he can’t quite believe this is happening. He pulls her body closer, his hand nestled into her hair and the other tight on her waist, holding her close.

Her lips taste fruity, like the cocktails she’s been ordering all night (some things never change). Her tongue finds its way into his mouth, and he has to stop himself from moaning too loudly in response. He’s waited far too long for this. His heart pounds in his chest, threatening to leap out if he gets too excited.

Eventually, they part, their chests heaving and their lips red. Her nose is a little pink from all the friction. It might just be the best thing he’s ever seen.

“We should go back before they notice that we ran off,” she smiles innocently and holds her hand out for him to take.

He doesn’t have time to overthink what just happened. All he knows is he can’t wait for the rest of their little secret moments together this weekend.

#fictober19 #jeff x annie #jeff/annie #jeff and annie #annie x jeff #community #otp: like a perfect duet #idk what this is but it's kinda cute #jeff winger #annie edison #britta perry #troy barnes #not sure if i like it but #HERE HAVE THE FIC #fan fic

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xxkellsvixen19xx · 5 years

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I Am Not Living, I Am Surviving Hug Me Michael x Reader

Warnings: this theme deals with depression and thoughts of suicide which could be triggering for some.

A/N: as someone that deals with depression I felt compelled to post this. Michael helps Y/N during her depressive episode, the reader (much like me tends to shut people out especially when things get difficult so I feel this on a personal level). Hope you guys take the time to read this as it is kinda personal for me, thanks guys and please let me know what you think. Note the lyrics used are from Britta Phillips version of the song Drive

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//who's gonna tell you when

it's too late

who's gonna tell you things

aren't so great

you can't go on

thinking nothing's wrong

who's gonna drive you home tonight//

I was not alone, that there was someone somewhere who was able to articulate the seething, jumbled, brutal, pre-linguistic, thrashing, writhing, hazing, dulling pounding in my head. It wasn't just me. That single thought was the most important thing in the world to me, sometimes the one thing that kept me alive – a single false note of optimism would have shattered it all for me, left me thinking yes, it really is just me – the words people offer me really are just that, words, the hope they contain utterly irrelevant because they relate to an experience that is not mine.

‘I put on a brave front' it had been so easy to hide how I truly felt, laugh, joke act like I was completely fine. But truth was I knew deep down inside I wasn't masking it would only work for so long. I was rapidly sliding deeper and deeper into a very dark space. My symptoms got worse and soon I found it too difficult to even get up and out of bed in the morning.

‘You feel nothing. You shut down completely. There is no happiness, no sadness, nothing. You feel zero.’ Depression is not something that can be brushed away with a smile, or shooed away with a pat on the back. It’s something more deeper and profound. There’s no gadget to test which person is suffering from what type of depression, and there’s no instrument to measure the extent of depression.

Statistics say that as many as 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. That means you know someone—probably several someones—with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder or something else. Isolation can have a crushing effect on a lot of people. Some people thrive on it, but humans on the whole are a social bunch and need to interact with others. When that isn’t possible, it’s easy to feel that the walls are closing in. But honestly all I was good at doing is pushing people away, I am afraid if they get to close if they see really see what I am going through that they might abandon me because it may end up being way too much for them.

I kept a diary somehow it felt safer to write down my thoughts, the one person I should be honest with is Michael but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. Would he be hurt? Would he hate me? So many thoughts in the back of my mind I pushed them away. I scribbled furiously in the journal and tossing it aside. Normally I hid it under a loose floorboard in our bedroom but on this night not giving it so much as a second thought I feel asleep journal wide open. Y/N didn't hear Michael when he walked in, he looked at you you were fast asleep. He noticed the leather bound book that laid open by your sleeping form. He didn't want to invade your privacy but something alerted him that something was on deed wrong. He looked at the small paragraph scrawled on the page, his face froze in fear at the words before him.

Dear Michael.

I've been thinking about ending my life. I don't know why I can't talk to you in person, so I bought this Diary in the case that I do end up killing myself you will know why I did what I did and that you cannot blame yourself. Michael you are the reason I am still here. for now. But the voices in my head are so strong and the pain that it is inflicting on me everyday, one more thing and I feel like I won't be able to hold on, but I will for you Michael I will try my best for you.

Yours Truly,

Y/F/N Y/L/N

Depression is a hole and I'm slowly falling in trying to claw out and everyone I love is just standing there watching. Honestly I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep 'acting’ like I was ok when deep down inside I wanted to end it, quiet the voices leave the pain behind that quite frankly I felt like I was drowning in.

I opened my eyes I don't know how long I had been asleep or even what time it was. I looked to see Michael's concerned expression his piercing blue eyes felt like they had penetrated my soul. There my journal sat in his lap, Michael let out a breath attempting to steady himself. “Why won't you talk to me Y/N, tell me that something was wrong?” I couldn't even open up my mouth to speak it was like I lost all nerve to even respond. My first instinct was to bolt, I sat up quickly turning my body away from him. I wasn't able to even make it to the edge of the bed, Michael grabbed my arm “Y/N please talk to me don't shut me out!”

Michael's breathing started to get heavier as his eyes started to well up. Y/N looked at Michael, saying nothing. He wondered what she was thinking. Finally, after a few moments, she started sobbing, and she leaned into him. Michael immediately pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, and struggling not to cry himself. ‘I was tired of feeling helpless. I had to do something, anything.’ ‘I remember that exact moment as the one where I started to feel good about myself again, I just wish it could've lasted longer…

There was another moment of silence, this one longer than the last, "I tried to tell myself that you'd get better, that you would get back to normal but the truth is I didn't know that. I didn't know if you'd get better, you can't keep doing this to yourself Y/N, what if I never see you again! And the thought of everyone else just going on with their lives made me sick! So yeah,I am angry, and I am scared… I didn't know what the fuck I am supposed to do!" Michael's voice finally broke as tears streamed down his face. Y/N, with tears in her own eyes, finally stood up. She pressed her forehead against Michael's and placed her hands on the sides of his head. ‘But most of all, I knew, come what may, I had at least one safe harbor.’ I looked up at Michael the look was unmistakable.

‘I'll never forget what I saw at that moment, looking into Michael's eyes.’

‘He loved me. This sweet, perfect man… loved me.’

After staring at him for another moment that seemed to last forever, she finally leaned in and kissed him. He quickly began kissing her back. The two of them continued this until it started to grow more heated, with the two of them running their hands over each other, and Michael kissing along the side of her neck.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.

"Are you… are you sure this is okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Y/N gave Michael a smile.

"I'm sure," I said.

‘That wasn't entirely true. I wasn't sure, or rather I wasn't sure if I was sure.but I didn't know if that made a difference. I knew I wanted it to be okay this time.’

The two of them resumed, even more passionately this time. They began removing clothes and letting their hands roam over more of more of each other…

‘More than anything, I wanted it to be okay this time. I remember thinking, please, please, let it be okay this time.’

Michael continued kissing Y/N, who leaned her head back as the feelings came over her…

‘But it wasn't okay’

I inhaled sharply…

‘It was perfect.’

2 weeks later…

"How is Y/N?" Gallant ask, suddenly looking at Michael with concern on his face.

Michael hesitated. He came here to help Gallant with an issue with his salon , not unload his own worries onto him. Still, lying to him didn't feel right either.

"I don't know, really," Michael finally said. "She just doesn't seem to want to open up. I know she's been having a really hard time." Michael gave Gallant a slight smile. “I think it's just going to take time.” Gallant responded softly.

‘The day were getting... bearable.’

‘So were the days after that, and the next after that.’

‘Michael found me a new doctor. A bit further away, but worth the trip. I was able to open up to her a little.’

‘Still, I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something I was supposed to do, but at first, I couldn't figure out what it was.’

‘But gradually I started to notice something…’

‘...something I couldn't shake once I noticed them.,

‘The signs.’

‘The ones most people didn't see. The ones no one saw in me until it was almost too late.’

Michael wiped one last tear rolling down his face and closed his eyes.

“Please live for me Y/N," he said, softly. “Stay with me, I love you."

Y/N sighed in relief.

‘All I could do after that was live.’

Michael pulled me close to him tightly I could hear his heartbeat, a steady reminder to live

//Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.//

Mahatma Gandhi

#ahs #ahs apocalypse #michael langdon #cody fern #fan fiction

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charanteleclerc · 5 years

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Damaged but not Broken

A/N: I've been super busy for the last week, I promise I didn't write nearly 6,000 in a day! This is for Helena, who asked for this when I said I'd start writing again. Like always, prompts are open! Cross posted to AO3 here

“Ow, shit, fuck!” Seb exclaimed, grabbing at his foot. “Stupid fucking spanner!”

He could hear the chuckles of his part-time receptionist through the door, but he ignored her. Well, mostly. He might have thrown a rather uncomplimentary gesture at the open door.

He thankfully had a couple of cars to work on today, however being clumsy with tools wasn’t going to fix them. Running a garage was definitely easier with two people, but then there was the added problem of the second person. He’d tried in the past, so many times, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. He’d briefly considered asking his best friend, Jenson, but he was spectacularly drunk at the time, and Jenson had his own career. Besides, he’d already learnt not to mix business and personal. That’d been learnt the hard way.

“You look stressed as hell.” A familiar voice sounded from the entrance. Seb barely glanced up, rolling his eyes.

“Hello to you too, Jense.” He muttered, leaning back over the engine. “Why are you showing your ugly mug around here today then?”

Jenson clasped at his heart, pretending to stagger back. “You wound me. ”

“Sure, sure.” Seb grinned. “If you’ve come to drag me to the pub, let me finish this job. I swear, it’s nearly done.”

“That is part of the reason. But, I’ve been looking around for some help for you.” Jenson hopped up onto the counter. Seb glared at him.

“I said I don’t need another business partner.”

“I never said partner, I said help.” Jenson replied calmly. “Did you know that the local college does mechanic apprenticeships?”

“No I didn’t.” Seb muttered darkly, turning a screw with maybe a little too much force. “But I’m sure you’re going to tell me the benefits.”

“You liaise with the college, no-one is going to undermine you, and you get to give the gift of learning.” Jenson grinned. “Win-win situation!”

“What if I don’t need the help?”

“He needs the help!” Britta called from the reception. Seb swore under his breath.

“I know you’ve had bad experiences Seb, but you can’t keep on like this. Tifosi Garage doesn’t have to start and end completely with you.”

Seb rolled his eyes. “Fine. Sign me up. Just one apprentice though.” He warned.

Jenson beamed, clapping his hands together. “That’s great, because I’ve already signed you up! His name is Charles, he’s twenty-one, and he starts on Monday!” He jumped down from the counter, making a mad dash into the reception as a screwdriver flew through the air after him. “I’m hiding in here until you’re ready, we’re still going to the pub!”

“Asshole!”

“Love you too!”

~*~

Jenson reappeared early on Monday morning, hanging around as Seb opened up the garage. Hi did however bring coffee with him this time, so he was partially forgiven.

“You don’t need to spy on me.” Seb grumbled, warming his hands on the coffee. “I’m gonna be nice.”

“Sure you are.” Jenson replied easily. “Maybe I just want to get a look at the kid?”

Seb hummed, not fooled. “Yeah right. And don’t you have a job to go to?”

Jenson shrugged, taking a small sip of his coffee. “I’m on holiday this week, gonna spend some time with Nico. So no reporting for a full seven days. Unless something major happens, I guess. It’s usually my luck.”

“And that’s why being a reporter sucks.” Seb retorted cheerfully. “If you’re going to hang around, at least be useful.”

Jenson mock-saluted, heading into the reception. Britta only worked two days a week, and Seb was well aware it was half an excuse to get out of the house, and half a pity favour to him. She’d known him for years, and was far more talented and capable than this job asked her to be. But having small kids at home meant re-evaluating priorities, and both her and her husband took part time jobs in order to juggle childcare. She wouldn’t be in again until Wednesday sadly, so sometimes the phones had to go unanswered if he couldn’t leave what he was doing and make a run for it.

“Um, hello?” A young man peered around the entrance, looking anxious. “This is Tifosi Garage, right? I’m looking for Sebastian Vettel?”

Seb waved, walking over. The guy looked young, but Jenson said he was twenty-one, so not that young. He was already wearing overalls, which was a good start, he didn’t think he had a clean pair hanging around. But underneath the anxiousness, there was a look of determination. Seb could work with that. “Charles, right?”

“Yeah, Charles Leclerc. Nice to meet you.” Charles stuck out his hand. Seb gave it a quick shake.

“Welcome to Tifosi Garage. It’s normally just me, but my friend is helping out on the desk today. There’s a part-time receptionist, Britta, but she only works Wednesday and Saturday. I don’t know how far in your studies you are, so if you just shadow me this morning, and I’ll check your work leaving the garage for the time being?”

Charles nodded, looking eager. “We’ve worked on stuff, but never to a set time, y’know. But I’m excited to learn.”

Seb could see Jenson grinning like a madman from the reception, signing something frantically. He wasn’t even going to bother acknowledging him. Or he wasn’t, until a paper ball hit him square on the side of his head.

“If you get ready, just excuse me for a minute.” Seb smiled as apologetically as he could. He walked quickly into the reception, shutting the door behind him. “What?!”

“Seb! He’s cute! Like, super cute!” Jenson exclaimed, waving his hands around dramatically.

“And?” Seb asked. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Jenson waggled his eyebrows suggestively, leaning back in the chair. “Y’know. He’s cute. And you haven’t been on a date in forever.”

“I’m not going to date my apprentice, Jenson.” Seb replied flatly. “What the fuck.”

“You’re absolutely no fun, you know that.” Jenson pouted. “How am I supposed to help you if you don’t want help?”

“Keep trying, Fairy Godmother.” Seb walked out of the office, making sure it was firmly shut. “So, Charles! We’ve only got one problem in at the minute, that Volvo over there.” He pointed, walking over and pulling open the bonnet. “Basic oil leak. What do we do?”

“Check where the leak is coming from first.” Charles replied calmly. “Then if it’s just loose, tighten the bolts. If the part is broken, order and replace.”

Seb nodded, impressed. “Well done. Want to take a go?”

Charles’s face lit up, and after Seb gave another nod, he reached for a spanner, sliding himself under the car. Seb walked back, arms crossed. Charles seemed to have a good grasp of the basics. He could admit that it was going to be helpful to have him around.

But not in the way that Jenson suggested. That was completely off-limits. Completely.

~*~

“I’m just saying -”

“No Jenson.” Seb replied tiredly. “Nico, tell him.”

Nico sighed, putting down his drink. “I really don’t think that’s up to me. And I have to live with him.” He nodded at Jenson. Valtteri sniggered into his drink. Seb groaned, resting his head on the table.

“Sure, he’s cute. But I am ten years older than him, and effectively his employer.”

“Pssht, like the rules have ever stopped you before.” Jenson smiled wickedly. “C’mon Seb. We’re all taken, we need to live vicariously through you.”

“No. Fuck you.” Seb mumbled half-heartedly into the table. “Stop bringing up my shitty dating history.”

“You do have a type.” Valtteri admitted. “And it’s off-limits colleagues.”

Seb whimpered.The rest of the table laughed, Nico patting Seb’s head sympathetically.

“There, there, Seb. Maybe you can just stare at him?”

“Er, hi, Jenson, Seb.” A new voice sounded, causing Seb to snap up from his slouched position. Charles was standing next to the table, with a couple of friends.

“Oh, hi Charles.” Seb smiled, sitting up properly, pretending he hadn’t just cricked his neck in such a quick movement. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just out with friends.” Charles explained, gesturing awkwardly at his friends. This is Pierre, and Carlos.”

Charles’s friends gave small waves, staring intently at Seb. He tried not to meet their gaze, clearing his throat.

“Jenson you already know,” Jenson grinned at that, “and these two are Nico and Valtteri.” His friends said hi, eyes darting between Seb and Charles.

“Um, we’re gonna go. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Charles asked, smiling when Seb nodded.

“Enjoy your night! And 9am sharp!” He gave a small laugh, waving Charles and his friends away. He could feel his friends eyes on him, smiles on their faces.

“Shut up.”

~*~

Seb had been running Tifosi Garage for ten years now. He’d been twenty-one, with dreams bigger than reality, and a partner to set up shop with. Mark had been great, and whilst being older (and therefore more experienced), they’d gone fifty-fifty on the garage. Seb had been on cloud nine that first year, so caught up in possibilities that he hadn’t stopped to see the cracks in the foundations.

Seb had fallen for Mark hard and fast, in the way that you only can when you’re young. He didn’t realise he’d made a mistake until after the garage had been opened.

It had been a botched job, a bigger problem that he should’ve recognised but hadn’t. They’d lost the customer, and Mark had been furious. He threw things across the garage, yelling curses as he went. When Seb stopped in to stop him, Mark had hit him instead.

Looking back, Seb always knew that he should’ve left then. But he’d been determined. It was an accident, Mark hadn’t meant it. And Seb couldn’t just walk away from the garage, he’d poured too much of himself into it to just give up. Jenson had kept telling him to walk away, but he’d stayed. He slowly saved up enough money, dealing with the outbursts that Mark sent his way. He’d finally had enough to buy Mark out of his shares three years later, and it was done so quickly and quietly, with another name in place, that Mark didn’t know what had hit him.

Last he had heard, Mark had run back off to Australia. He didn’t have to worry about him anymore.

Dan had been a rebound. A lengthy rebound, he admitted. It had just been casual though, with a knowledge that Dan’s heart would never belong to him. Dan had been employed to fill Mark’s empty space, and he was a good mechanic. But his friend was a regular shadow, and Jev wholly disapproved of their whole relationship. The whole thing lasted two years, until Jev’s frustrations finally won out and he’d made out with Dan, in the middle of the garage.

Dan had never looked back, although he had been very apologetic about it. They’d move away, and were getting married next year. He had his invitation stuck to the cork board in his office. At least they got their happy ending.

Kimi had been the third person Seb had fallen for. He’d known Kimi for years, and they’d been friends for almost that entire time. Best friends truthfully (not that he’d ever tell Jenson that). After Dan left, Seb was emotionally raw. Kimi had been there at just the right time, and had stepped up to help at the garage as well, but Seb hadn’t dared act on the gigantic crush he was nursing. He was quite happy watching from afar, and maybe if nothing had changed Kimi might still be here now. But there had been one drunken night, and he’d drowned in it. Kimi was everything to him, like his soul was finally full. He knew it was dangerous, letting someone so close again after Mark. But Kimi had been everything good, and it was so easy and right.

No wonder he’d been caught left-field when he realised Kimi had been cheating on him.

He’d been out with Jenson, grabbing a coffee on one of Jenson’s breaks. It was nowhere near the garage, full of bleary-eyed reporters and sharp business suits. Seb had only noticed Kimi when he was heading towards the toilets. Lazily sprawled across his seat, with another man leaning into his side, and then they were kissing -

He doesn’t remember what happened those few minutes after. He remembers the white hot rage, but otherwise nothing until he and Jenson were back at the garage. Apparently Jenson had to pull him off Kimi and the other guy, having attempted to punch their faces. They were forever barred from that café, but Seb couldn’t bring it in himself to care about that point, he wasn’t going to return there anyway.

Kimi had snuck in a couple of days later for his stuff, sporting an impressive black eye and a cut lip. Jenson had hovered protectively, not saying a word. Seb remained motionless on the couch, staring at a peeling patch of paint on the wall. There had been no words exchanged, the only time the silence was broken was when Kimi shut the door for the last time. He wasn’t sure where Kimi was now, and he really didn’t want to know.

Seb had certainly learnt the hard way that relationships and business don’t mix. There were too many mistakes that could’ve been avoided, so much heartbreak. His life for the last ten years was littered in scars, and if he wasn’t already making sure that he was keeping his business separate, he wouldn’t want to drag someone like Charles into his messes. He deserved someone young, and uncomplicated.

Seb didn’t want to drag anyone into his life, it wasn’t fair. He was too damaged, the cracks hastily and badly covered. He couldn’t be broken down again. He couldn’t come back from heartbreak one last time.

~*~

Charles fitted in effortlessly. He’d brought a little bit of laughter to Tifosi Garage, something that had been sorely lacking. He made Britta cups of tea, and kept Jenson in stitches whenever he came to visit. The garage had started to feel more like a home again.

Not that Seb was beginning to associate Charles with home. Nothing of the sort.

“Hey Seb.” Charles popped his head around the door, eyebrow raised as he saw Seb leaning back in the chair, eyes closed. “Afternoon nap?”

“Sure, we’ll go with that.” Seb yawned, stretching his arms above his head. “Late night.”

“Anything interesting?” Charles asked, a light blush on his face. Seb shook his head, amused.

“Nah, just invoices. Joys of running your own business.”

“Never thought about having someone to help?” Charles suggested. “Seems like a lot of work for just one person.”

Seb stiffened, panic in his eyes. Mark came flooding back into his mind, but he wasn’t going there. Not one bit.

“Er, tried it once. Didn’t end well.” Seb tried for false cheery. He could see Charles frowning, but there was no way he was going to elaborate. “So. What can I do for you?”

“Just to say that I’m all finished up. That Honda was a bit of a mess, but she tidies up well.” Charles explained. “I’m gonna head off, if that’s okay?”

“Sure. I’m not gonna be much company anyway.” Seb gestured at his paperwork.

“Looks like fun.” Charles teased. “Well, if you feel like joining, I’m meeting a few friends this evening, at the pub? If your paperwork gets done, obviously.”

“I’ll think about it.” Seb gave a half-smile. Charles nodded, grabbing his bag and heading out. Seb watched him go, his heart beating just a little too fast. Charles had obviously meant as just friends.

Hadn’t he?

~*~

The bar was busy, but Seb was determined. He’d even managed to run home to have a shower and pull on a new shirt. That was really something for him. He was a man of habit now, and it was probably the first time he was going out without Jenson as his crutch since Kimi.

“Seb!” An excited voice caught Seb’s attention. Charles was waving at him, a grin on his face. There were more of his friends here than last time, but that was okay. Less focus on him, he hoped.

“Didn’t think you were coming.” Charles teased, grabbing a chair from a nearby table. “Has the love affair with the paperwork finally ended?”

Seb grimaced. “It’s still waiting, but I can enjoy a night off.” He could see everyone round the table giving him very unsubtle looks - some excited and some more calculating. Pierre was definitely watching his every move. Seb gave a small wave. “Hi, I’m Seb.”

“Pierre and Carlos you already know. The others are Stoffel, Lando and Daniil.” Charles explained, pointing to each of them in turn. “They’ve just arrived back from uni.”

“We’re postgrads.” Daniil explained. “Engineering. We all met at the university here, but Pierre and Carlos have gone into jobs, and Charles here decided on an apprenticeship before his masters.”

“It’s a gap year.” Charles muttered, flushing. Seb was stunned. He’d thought that Charles was just another college student, but he was doing this for fun? On a gap year?

So brainy as well as attractive.

Wait, he wasn’t going there, remember? Not going there.

“Well, call me when you’re working on racing cars.” Seb joked, and the tension broke. He might be older, but cars was a safe topic. “And remember me when your normal cars break.”

The conversation eventually took a turn into more complicated things, such as gossip between friends as who was seen on campus with who. Seb wished he could still be as carefree as them, that if he could turn back the clock ten years, he’d be chatting as much as any of them. He just tended to shy away from most conversation like that now, and his own friends had learnt not to talk about certain topics around him. It was easier for them, with partners and spouses. Time really does make all the difference.

He let the conversation wash over him, joining in at just the right moments. They all seemed keen to catch up, so he wasn’t ever thrust into the limelight. He was enjoying himself, so much so he was surprised when they announced intentions of going to a club nearby.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Charles asked. Seb smiled, pulling on his jacket.

“Definitely not my scene. And, there’s that love affair with my paperwork, remember?”

“I’ll walk with you.” Charles said, waving off his friends cries. “I’ll catch up.

“You can go with your friends.” Seb said lowly. Charles shrugged, a determined look on his face.

“I’m not going to miss much in ten minutes. It’s just a club, I know how clubs work.”

They said their goodbyes, with promises of catching up from Charles, and Seb trying to ignore Pierre’s pointed gaze. It was a similar look Kimi had used on him regularly, and it felt like he was being unmade, unravelling there on the pavement.

“You don’t have to walk me home Charles.” Seb teased. “Amazingly, I’m old enough to look after myself.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “I know that. Maybe I just wanted to continue talking?”

“I’d say you need your head checking.” Seb joked. “You see me five days a week.”

Charles shrugged. “Maybe I want more.”

Shit. What was that? Was Charles flirting with him? What was supposed to do? Was he -

“Seb?” Charles was looking at him, slightly concerned. “You look like I broke you.”

“Er, no, I just… Charles.” Seb sighed. “I’m not a good person to get attached to.”

“Jenson mentioned you had some bad ex-boyfriends.” Charles said conversationally. “No details, but he said you’d had a bad time, and that you needed someone to treat you well.”

Seb groaned. Of course Jenson had gone behind his back to Charles. Fuck, had he mentioned anything about him liking Charles? He had said anything to Jenson, but that had never stopped him from knowing before.

“Charles, Jenson wasn’t joking. I’ve had some really shitty boyfriends, and it’s left marks.” Literally, but Charles didn’t need to know that. “I’m not what you think I am.”

“I think you’re holding back.” Charles surprised him by saying. “I’m not denying you’ve had bad run-in’s, and that you think you’re too broken.” Charles stopped, waiting for Seb to turn to him. “Seb, you’re not broken. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And you need to prove it to yourself. Give yourself a chance, see what the world has to offer.”

“Like you?” Seb whispered. Charles smiled, hopeful.

“Exactly like me.”

They walked in silence until they reach his flat. Seb cleared his throat, eyes on the pavement. “This is me.”

“I hope you had a good time.” Charles said, stepping forward slightly. “Because I did.”

“Same.” Seb admitted. He started to turn to put his key in the lock, but Charles stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Are -” He started, but suddenly there were warm lips on his, and his brain could only focus on that. In that moment, the rest of the world didn’t exist for him.

The kiss was short, and all too soon Charles was stepping back. “Goodnight, Seb.” Was all he said, before turning and heading back down the street. Seb watched him go, key hanging forgotten in his hand.

He was so gone.

~*~

“So he kissed you?”

“Yes.”

“He kissed you?”

“Oh my god, yes! He kissed me!” Seb exclaimed, holding the phone to his ear. “How many times do I have to say it?”

“Sorry, I’m just trying to take it in.” Jenson sounded delighted. “Didn’t think he’d have the balls for it.”

“Well, he did. And now I don’t know what to do.” Seb grumbled. He’d been awake for hours last night, overthinking pretty much everything. He’d called Jenson as soon as it was reasonable to. Not that Jenson would’ve cared if he’d called earlier, but Nico might have.

“Seb, maybe you should just go with it.”

“You know that should not be my tactic.” Seb replied. “Remember what happened the last time I did that?”

“But Charles isn’t Kimi or Mark. Charles isn’t even Dan, because his heart isn’t looking somewhere else. You deserve someone good, Seb. Maybe, just maybe, it might be Charles.”

“But what if I get my heart broken again?” Seb whispered. Jenson was silent for a beat.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Jenson said, sounding serious for once. “That heart of yours that you’re so intent on protecting, it will never fully heal if you keep it locked up.”

Seb sighed. How was it that Jenson always knew exactly what to say?

“Fine. I’ll think about it.” He muttered, as he turned the corner to the garage. Charles was already waiting, leaning up against the wall. “Look, I have to open up.”

“Just keep it in mind Seb. See you later.” Jenson hung up, leaving Seb frowning at his phone. Shaking his head, he walked towards the garage.

“Morning.” Seb greeted neutrally. He wasn’t sure if Charles would want to talk about last night, so no point forcing the issue. “You’re here early.”

“Don’t need much sleep.” Charles replied cheerfully, walking towards Seb. “Have you changed your mind about enjoying last night?”

Seb blushed, trying not to rise to the obvious challenge. “Why, looking for a repeat?”

Charles shrugged. “I wouldn’t say no.” He walked forward. “How about now?”

Seb laughed, turning to unlock the door. “Maybe if your work is good enough.” He teased. “If you really want to go down that route, whatever it is, it stays away from the garage.”

Charles nodded, throwing a mock salute. “No problem, boss. No talk about it until five.”

“Good.” Seb nodded. He could wait until five. Only nine more hours to go.

~*~

They started to form a routine. Life at the garage carried on like normal - there were cars to fix, for Seb paperwork to keep on top of, and Jenson and Britta keeping a general eye on things. Charles would hang around as Seb closed up the garage, and then both of them would head back to Seb’s flat. Seb had seen Charles’s place one, a student house share on the edge of town, and they both decided that they’d have more comfort and less distractions at Seb’s place. Charles never stayed for too long, either having being warned by Jenson, or he’d figured it out himself, not to push Seb too far. And it was working. Charles was witty, and funny, and easy to be around. They were keeping things light, and aside from takeaway pizza and some make out sessions, they hadn’t exactly discussed their relationship. Whatever it was. Charles probably had a perfect idea of what was happening, with a well thought out plan.

Seb was stumbling along, dazed and blinded. He was taking whatever he could get, and he was grateful for it.

“Pizza tonight?” Charles asked, helping to close up the garage.

“Sure.” Seb agreed. “From the place around the corner?”

“I’ll get them? Meet you back at your flat?” Charles suggested.

“Awesome.” Seb grinned. Charles walked off, and Seb just couldn’t help but watch him go. It was really hard not to watch Charles lately, especially since Charles had started wearing really tight shirts. Really tight.

“Seb.” A low voice came from behind him. Seb froze. He hadn’t heard that voice in a long time.

He turned around slowly, desperately hoping that he was wrong. That his mind was playing tricks on him. But no. Kimi was stood behind him, hands in pockets, his usual neutral expression in place.

“Do you need help with that?” Kimi asked, stretching out a hand.

“No.”

“Seb, let me help -”

“No.” Seb stared, backing into the wall. “I want you to get the fuck away from me.”

“C’mon Seb -”

“You cheated on me, Kimi.” Seb said dumbly. “You cheated, I saw you. You never even said sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s too late now.” Seb spat. “How dare you come here.”

Kimi shrugged. “I missed you.”

“You mean your toyboy got bored and fucked off.” Seb laughed, bitterly. “Makes sense you’d come running back the minute he left.”

“I left him.” Kimi snapped. “Look, I know I fucked up a good thing Seb. I miss you.”

“I don’t want you back.” Seb snapped. Kimi glared, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you.” Kimi said. Seb sneered.

“Well, that’s all you’re going to get.”

“Seb?” A confused voice sounded. Charles. “Everything okay?”

Seb turned around, watching Charles walk towards the two of them. “I thought you were going to the flat?”

“Forgot my jacket.” Charles frowned. “Who’s your friend?”

Kimi was watching their brief conversation, a cold smile slowly forming on his face. “Seems you’ve picked up a toyboy of your own, Seb.”

Seb glared. “We’re finished here.”

“I don’t think we are.” Kimi turned to Charles. “What’s your name?”

“Charles. And you?”

“Pretty manners. I’m Kimi. And I suppose Seb has told you all about his history?”

“I don’t pry.” Charles replied shortly.

“Sure you don’t. Well, just before you get too stuck into this -”

“Kimi.” Seb tried, standing between the two of them. “Please leave.”

“Seb’s more than a little damaged. There was the guy who beat him up, that really did a number on him. There was the guy who treated him like a casual fuck, now living very happily with his fiance.” Seb winced there. “It stings, doesn’t it? Hearing about Dan being happy?” Kimi turned his attention back to Charles. “And I’m the last in the tale. I’m the one who cheated on Seb. I’m the one that cracked his heart in two.”

“Fuck you.” Seb whispered. He didn’t look at Charles, he didn’t want to see the disgust and disappointment. He couldn’t look at Kimi, it hurt too much. He started walking towards the street, ignoring Charles calling him. He didn’t have it in him to care.

He walked numbly back to his flat, and once inside he leant against the door and sank to the floor. Everything had been going so well, and now his life was in tatters again. He’d been stripped raw, there was no way Charles was going to stay now.

“Seb?” There was a quiet voice outside his door. Charles had followed him here. “I know you’re in there.”

Seb didn’t respond. What was the point in it? He could hear Charles sigh on the other side.

“It doesn’t matter to me, your past boyfriends. They’re not here now. That’s what matters. And you’re not broken. Far from it. You’re one of the strongest people I know. You’ve patched yourself up so many times, and all by yourself. You’ve been hurt, I get that. And Kimi… he was out of order, coming to the garage tonight. I’m sorry, I might have punched him the face once or twice, but he deserved it. I probably should’ve left that to you though.” Charles broke off, giving another sigh. “I’ll go if you want me to. But if I go, I’ll call Jenson. I don’t want you to be along right now.”

Seb ran his hands through his hair. “Stay. Please.”

“Okay.” Charles was quiet. Seb stood up, opening the door just enough to let Charles in. Charles slid in, shutting the door. “Please. Let me look after you.”

“I can’t… I don’t know what…” Seb couldn’t get his words out. “Charles, I don’t know what to do.”

Charles cradled Seb into a hug, stroking his hair. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

~*~

Seb’s not sure how he managed it, but he dragged himself out bed the next day, and went to work like nothing had happened. The thought of the garage sitting empty seemed worse to him, and keeping busy was distracting. He did the same the next day, and the day after that. He surprised himself, sometimes.

Having Charles around helped. Charles calmed him, and made him feel like the world wasn’t completely out to get him. In between Charles and Jenson stopping round every free minute, Seb felt like he was recovering.

But that didn’t stop the guilt clawing at him however. He needed to tell Charles the truth, his side of events, rather than just venomous words spat out by Kimi.

Charles obviously wasn’t pressing, but there were questions waiting there. Seb could see it in his eyes.

Seb waited until the garage was shut one day, calling Charles into the office. “I’m only going to be able to do this without interruptions. Just please, let me finish.” Seb asked, pleading a little. Charles nodded, sitting down.

“Everything Kimi said was true, but it is - was - more complicated than that. I bought this garage when I was your age, and I shared it with my then boyfriend. We went half each. And it was great, at first. But then when things started to not go Mark’s way, he’d lash out. At first it was stuff, then it was me. Still got a few scars left, where people can’t see. I didn’t leave straight away because of the garage. It was my life, my dream. I couldn’t just walk away from it, and let have Mark have it. So I saved up enough, bought him out. He fucked off to Australia the minute I mentioned the police.

“Dan was a rebound, I guess? He came in to replace Mark, which he did in more than one way. And it was just casual, agreed upon. I was the idiot that went and caught feelings. I knew he was in love with Jev, and I’m happy for them. I really am. I still talk to Dan, even got an invite to the wedding.

“Then Kimi. I honestly thought Kimi was my soulmate. He’d been my closest friend since I was nineteen, closer even than Jenson. And we fell into loving each other so naturally, it felt so right. And I just happened to wander into the wrong coffee shop on the wrong day. I don’t even know the other guy’s name. But Kimi was gone a few days later, no words.

“Charles, my heart’s been broken too much. I don’t think I can do it again with you.”

Charles said nothing, just watching him. Seb could feel the panic rising. Of course, Charles had now heard all of it, and was trying to figure out a way to leave politely.

Charles stood up, slowly walking towards him. He crouched in front of Seb, grasping his hands.

“Seb, I’m not like them. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m going to treat you as you deserve to be treated.” He leaned close, resting his forehead against Seb’s. “I think I might love you, Seb Vettel, broken heart or no.”

“I think it might be healing.” Seb whispered, before leaning in to kiss Charles. Charles hummed, kissing back gently.

Maybe he wasn’t completely there yet, Seb thought. But maybe he could give this a try.

~*~

“Come on, you have to dance.” Charles coaxed. Seb had taken Dan up on his invitation to his wedding, and Charles had been so excited to go as a plus one. “I’ve never been a plus one to anything,” he’d explained, immediately starting to browse for a new suit. “Now shush, I’m shopping.”

“Charles, I’m not great at dancing.” Seb tried half-heartedly, but allowed himself to pulled out onto the floor. They swayed, not really dancing, but enough for them to pretend they were.

“Shut up. I just want to dance with my boyfriend.” Charles said calmly. “Entertain me.”

Seb smiled, resting his face against Charles’s. If you’d said a year ago it was possible for him to be this happy, he wouldn’t have believed you. He did still have dark days, but Charles was determined. He’d stuck around, and in turn he turned his life around. Charles had moved in when he’d returned to uni for his masters course, rather than staying in the house share for another year. The garage was doing well, really well. He’d hired one full-time mechanic, Giuliano, and there was one part-time apprentice, Marcus.

Not to say that he and Charles hadn’t had arguments. There had been rough points (such as the day he’d tried a moustache. Charles had walked in, taken one look and walked right back out again. It’d been shaved off an hour later). But Seb had never felt more grounded, more happy, in his life.

They danced, swaying side to side, trying to ignore the making out that was happening behind them between the newlyweds. “I love you Charles.” Seb murmured. He could feel Charles’s answering smile against his cheek.

“I love you too.” Came the soft reply. Seb smiled, a content feeling in his chest making him feel warm. It had taken a while, but he was broken no longer.

~*~

#sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #Jenson Button #Mark Webber #Kimi Raikkonen #daniel ricciardo #jean-eric vergne #pierre gasly #carlos sainz #stoffel vandoorne #lando norris #daniil kvyat #past abuse #past cheating #anxiety #f1 fanfic

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abbatoirablaze · 2 years

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Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 4

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: none really

We stayed up until 4 AM watching the Batman movies. I'd fallen asleep on the couch, my head in Abed's lap. When I looked up at him, he was awake, re-watching one of the films, "you haven't been up long, have you?"

He shrugged, "I've watched one of the films."

"What time is it?"

"A little past noon."

"NOON?" I all but yelled, I sat up and started trying to pull myself together, "Why didn't you wake me up, Abed?"

"We needed a day to ourselves," he said without missing a beat, "You've been so exhausted these past few weeks. You're running yourself into the ground. So, I let you sleep through your alarms."

"Abed."

I pushed myself into a sitting position. His hoodie was wrapped around me, "Why didn't you move me? I must have fallen asleep like that."

"You did," he shrugged, "but I didn't want to move you. You looked so peaceful and happy. I didn't want that to go away."

"You couldn't have been comfortable though."

"I'll live," he smiled, shrugging off the statement, "anyways. If I were in a TV show, the guy always makes sure the girl is taken care of and comfortable."

"Abed,"I cooed, “that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He was too sweet.

"We should probably get going though. I have to get some footage of Britta and Jeff for my film, and you need to get your grading done and turn it in to Professor Duncan and Professor Slater."

"Thank you," I said softly, “you’re right…I did need it.”

"You’re welcome. I gotta get going. See you tonight in the study room." He gave me another warm smile and he made his way out of his dorm, not even bothering to change clothes. I stood up and started making my way back to my dorm. After a quick shower and heading back to turn the papers into both professors I worked for, I saw Britta and Jeff arguing on the quad.

"Tawney, I haven't seen you all day," Shirley said, coming up to me. I nearly jumped ten feet out of my skin, “where have you been?”

"Sorry, I was hanging out with a friend, and I lost track of time," I admitted, only telling a half truth, “it was much needed though.”

"You lost track of time alright," she giggled, "sweetie you missed Spanish and Science class. What's his name?"

"What?"

She laughed even more, "you met a guy, right?"

I felt a blush creep onto my face, "no."

"Ohhhh," she giggled. She grabbed my arm and started leading me to the library, "tell me everything pumpkin."

"There's nothing to tell," I lied, "I was hanging out with a friend, and I fell asleep at their dorm..."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"You know," she giggled in an excited tone, "Sleep with him?"

"I fell asleep on his lap when we were watching movies," I admitted, feeling like a schoolgirl talking about something so romantic. Her giggle fell but she still had a hopeful smile, "I woke up this morning and he'd turned off my alarms. Said I looked peaceful, and he didn't want to ruin that."

"That's it?"

Shirley stopped us at the entrance to the study room where Annie was talking with Troy.

"Is there supposed to be more?"

"Oh baby." she sighed, shaking her head. She walked into the room letting me feel alone.

Was there supposed to be more? Did I mess something up with me and Abed?

I walked into the room and was greeted by Annie and Troy as they studied for another subject together.

Pierce came in shortly after, and then we were joined by Abed, and finally Jeff and Britta. I looked around the room, not entirely sure on what to do. I tried to get into a conversation with Annie, but she and Troy seemed to have their own little jokes. Shirley kept shaking her head at me every time I looked at her, and Abed wouldn't meet my gaze.

"You okay today?" Jeff asked, in a quiet tone. Everyone else was so absorbed in their conversations they didn't seem to notice he was talking to me.

"Just feeling kind of off," I admitted, “it’s been a weird day.”

He gave me a sympathetic smile, "whatever it is, I'm sure you'll be okay."

"PIZZA'S HERE!" Abed yelled, as the pizza guy came in and sat a large box down in front of us. Troy immediately reached into it as Abed paid the delivery guy.

"Thanks for the pizza, Abed," Troy grinned, "I was starving."

"It's like a picnic," Shirley added, “this is so nice.”

"Or a family dinner."

"It's a study group and pizza," Jeff said in an annoyed tone, "let's not get carried away."

"Are you okay?" I asked in a low tone. He shrugged. Britta cleared her throat loudly and looked at Jeff.

"So Abed, how's film class?"

"Good."

"Yeah?" Jeff asked, "Did you go to class today?"

I felt a pang in my stomach. I knew the answer. He had stayed in his dorm with me sleeping on his lap. That had caused him to miss his 11 AM film class.

"Not really."

"Not really?" Jeff asked, "Well Britta is paying for those classes. Don't you think maybe you should go?"

"I was shooting my movie for class," Abed said, as if that was an acceptable reason for not going to class,”that makes it okay!”

"Yeah but your movie is for class," Britta said, refuting his argument, “shouldn’t you at least go to it?”

"My movie is more important!"

"Did someone order seven lattes?"

We all looked to the door to see Kevin, one of Vaughn's friends, and a guy who worked at the café, with a bunch of lattes.

"I got that!"

"No, you don't got that Abed," Britta said, in a clearly distressed tone, "I got it. I got everything. What is wrong with you? All I want to do is take care of you. I know you are not stupid. Are you doing this on purpose? Why won't you answer me?"

"This is the scene where you leave!" Abed said slowly.

"You better believe it!" she growled out. She grabbed her stuff and stormed out of the library.

"Britta!"

"What do you think, dad?"

Jeff looked at him, "I think you are really weird, Abed...and I think the wrong person just left!"

Jeff got up to leave. Abed smiled, "perfect. That's a wrap."

Kevin looked at everyone, then to Abed, "That guy was your dad?"

"I need your help," I admitted. Jeff looked at me from his spot in the cafeteria. His brow cocked and he looked amused, “and it’s important.”

"You, need my help?"

I nodded, biting my lip, "yeah."

"Well this should be good."

He moved his binder so that it was on his side of the table, and I sat down.

"Abed has been acting a little odd lately," I began, “well, odder than normal.”

"You know, you should let your hair down," Jeff said, ignoring what I said, "you always have it in a high and tight ponytail. It's kind of got the sexy librarian thing going, but you could amp it up...you know! Are you wearing thick black glasses ironically?"

"Jeff," I said, trying to get him on subject, "Abed?"

"Right," he laughed, "I just assumed that when you said you needed my help, you were trying to do one of those brains to beauties things."

"Wow..."I said, sucking in my cheeks, "I can see why we don't spend a lot of time together...thanks Jeff."

"Well, you wouldn't need to do much," He said, looking me over. By the looks of it, you've got a great body. Long slender legs, tiny waist. Great as-"

"Jeff!"

"Yes?"

"Abed."

"Right," he said, changing whatever he was thinking about, "what about Abed?"

"His film...he's trying to get you guys to understand him," I said quickly, "I need you to get Britta and his dad in the same room."

"Why me?"

This time it was my turn to raise a brow at him, "really? Mr. 'I'm a fancy lawyer who can convince anyone to do anything' really needs a reason on why I'm asking for his help?"

"You have a point there," he smiled, “I am really good at that.”

I rolled my eyes at him, "will you help me or not?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "I guess so."

"Thank you. Abed is waiting in the library."

I got up and started to leave but Jeff caught up with me and grabbed my arm, "where are you going?"

"Oh...i-"

"You're coming with me," he laughed, "no way am I doing this by myself."

"That's fair," I said with a shrug. I don't know what I had expected when Abed asked me to get Jeff to help him, so I followed along. He let go of my arm and we started off towards the library where Abed was waiting.

"Hey," Abed said, not looking up from his computer, "Tawney convinced you to come?"

"Yeah," Jeff said, less than enthusiastic, "I even brought Tawney with me!"

He looked back, "I thought you had stuff to do."

"This is more important."

He smiled at me before looking back at his computer and continuing to edit. I sat on the table and waited with Jeff.

"Hey," he said after a moment, "you know that professor that you help out?"

"Slater?"

He nodded, "yeah. Is she single?"

I laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, stifling some more laughter, "just, she doesn't date students. And you're in one of her statistics classes."

"So, she's talked about me?"

I couldn't hold back the laughter anymore, as I shook my head, "no."

"Well, you just said you know I'm in one of her classes."

"Because I've graded your papers, Jeff."

"Wait, you grade my papers?"

"Sometimes," I said with a shrug. He got a hopeful look on his face, and I shut it down, "and before you say anything, no I won't go easy on you."

"And I thought we were friends," he said, shaking his head, “Some friend you are!”

"Hey," Britta smiled, coming into the room, “we’re here.”

"Hey."

"YOU LIED!" she said in an accusatory tone, after seeing Abed and myself in the room, "you don't really have tickets for Ravi Shenkar do you?"

"I think it's time you communicated."

"Communicate?" She all but yelled, "have you met Abed?"

"It's not the two of you that need to talk." He said, referencing how Mr. Nadir had walked in.

"HEY!" he growled, "wait a minute. Where's Weezer?"

"They're coming," Jeff lied, "Now the only reason this whole mess got started is because both of you wanted what's best for Abed. And I think that the lesson we can all take away from this is that everyone should always do whatever they want and leave each other out of it."

"Is that your take?" Mr. Nadir asked, "Let me give you mine. You, and your pillow lipped girlfriend got all up in my stuff because you wanted to be cowboys. And then you turned chicken when you found out it would take more than speeches and guided missiles. "

"Interesting," Jeff said, cocking his head to the side, "I didn't see the Iraq metaphor."

"What metaphor?" Mr. Nadir roared, "I'm talking about your speeches and her guide-"

The entire time he was making a gesture to breasts and fake squeezing them. Jeff cut him off, "Got it. The point is that Britta is sorry, right?"

"WRONG!"

"Crap."

"Abed may not be a good film maker but that doesn't mean he wants to make falafel," Britta said quickly, "you need to let him make his own decisions."

"Make his own decisions?" He asked, "Have you met Abed? You know who he is?"

"YOU HAVE N-"

"GUYS!"

"I'm finished," Abed said interrupting the three of them. He got up and began pointing at the chairs, "Britta, Jeff, Dad."

They looked at him, and then one another. Britta and Jeff started going towards their seats, and Mr. Nadir stood in place.

"Dad!"

When Mr. Nadir started heading towards the chair I walked over to the screen as well. The lights went off and Abed ran back to the computer screen to press play. Then he grabbed my hand. I looked at him, and my heart fluttered.

He gave me a look that I could only describe as unsure. He was nervous.

I gently squeezed his hand and tried to give him the most reassuring look that I could. His face softened enough to let a smile squeak through.

My heart fluttered as he turned back to the three people who was watching the short film he made.

"Well it's not exactly citizen kane," Jeff whispered to Britta. But it wasn't the reaction Abed was watching. He was staring at his father, Mr. Nadir, who's face was stained with tears, “Seriously? He’s buying this?”

The two men exchanged words in Arabic and hugged.

"I'm feeling a little out of the loop here."

"My son is hard to understand," Mr. Nadir said to Britta and Jeff, "If making movies helps him be understood then I pay for the classes."

He put a hand on Abed's shoulder and started walking towards the door. When he turned around, he was pointing at Abed, "Falafel as a fallback."

Abed nodded, and Mr. Nadir left. Britta reached out to him, and Abed dropped my hand.

"Abed?"

"Yeah."

"Did you do all of that to me on purpose?" she asked, "that's not a very nice way to treat your friends."

"Well Britta, it isn't called friend business," he said very matter of fact, "It's called show business."

"Is that a-" Britta started, but Jeff stopped her from speaking.

He pulled a cigarette out and took my hand, "you ready to go?"

I nodded, and with a smile we headed out of the library.

"Abed you forgot your laptop!"

"It'll be there tomorrow."

"You also don't smoke."

"It's fake," he said with a chuckle. He threw the cigarette into the first garbage can we saw, and he stopped on the steps, "would it be too cliché if I kissed you right here? Statistically speaking, after a win, the hero always gets the girl. And then they kiss before the end of the episode."

"I uh-"I began, not entirely sure how to break the news to him.

He nodded, and without a second thought, he dropped my hand, "I'm sorry. I must have misread the social cues. I thought you were interested in me. You pulled all the punches. Hit every mark. I jus-"

"I've never kissed anyone!"

"Excuse me?" he asked, stopping his monologue on a dime.

"I've never kissed anyone before," I blurted out a second time. I felt my face heating up at the admission. My heart started racing. I had just admitted that I've never been close enough to anyone to actually kiss them.

"So, you are interested in me then? You just are afraid to kiss me because you've never kissed anyone?"

I nodded. I wasn't able to find the words at the current moment in time.

He nodded, seeming to understand me, "We don't have to if you don't want to. I've never kissed anyone either. It just seemed like the right timing in the episode that we-"

He began. But I cut him off. I reached inside of myself for every ounce of courage I had, and I pulled him towards me by his shirt. Our lips met.

It was clear neither one of us had any idea what we were doing, but we went with it. A first kiss. My first kiss. Our first kiss. And it was with one another.

My hands let go of his shirt, and my fingertips rested on his chest. Our breathing synched up, and then our lips followed. It felt amazing. I felt an undeniable blush creep along my cheeks and down my neck when I pulled away.

"Wow."

We both stared at one another for a few minutes. Slowly, our breathing both went back to normal.

"I think that the guy is supposed to kiss the girl in those situations."

I couldn't help but giggle at his response.

"I'll keep that in mind next time," I replied, “you know…if there is a next time.”

He smiled.

I mirrored him.

"Please don't," he answered, “keep that in mind that is…I-I’d like to do that again.”

I felt my heart flutter as he said that.

"Hey, do you want to come over tomorrow after study group?"

He nodded, "I'd like that."

"Cool."

"Cool, cool cool," he replied.

I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then made my way back to my dorm. Feeling like I was on cloud nine. And it was all because of Abed. I was pulled from my happy daydreams when I saw my dorm room was open. Inside was Britta Perry. She had the same dreamy look I did.

"You kissed someone!" she accused.

"So did you!"

"Tell me," she said, rushing for gossip, "I wanna know everything!"

"You first!"

"Nope," she laughed, "anyways, mine is stupid."

She patted my bed and I fell back onto it, fully engaged to my dreamy thoughts, "I kissed Abed."

"Wait, what?" she asked. I opened my eyes, and her own were wide as saucers, "You and Abed kissed?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "who would have ever thought. But Abed took my first kiss. It was like a whir-"

"Wait, your first kiss?"

I nodded.

She began to laugh. I felt nausea rising up from the pit of my stomach.

"You're 20 years old, Tawney. You've never been kissed before tonight?"

I shook my head. She began laughing more.

I got up off my bed, feeling more self conscious than I'd ever felt in my life. I moved towards the door and opened it, "I think you should leave Britta, I'm not in the mood for company."

"Oh come on," she said, getting up. She began to stifle her own laughter, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. It's just so hard to believe that you just now are having your first kiss. You're so pretty."

"No I'm not," I said, shaking my head, "there's a reason why I hadn't had my first kiss before...but I don't want to talk about it anymore. If you're staying a while, tell me what happened with you."

She nodded, then sat me back down on my bed, "you'll make fun of me."

"I won't."

She sighed, then took a deep breath, "You know how Jeff was gonna flunk Whitmans' class?"

I nodded, "yeah. Professor Whitman said he had to seize the day. That guy is a complete crazy coot."

"I kissed Jeff."

"What?"

"I kissed Jeff Winger."

"Come on, Tawney," Vaughn pleaded, "You have to help me out with that blue-eyed goddess. She's like a wild wave running along a beaches coast."

"Wow Vaughn," I said, laughing "while your anologies hit me to my very soul, I can't do that. But she knows who you are. Just talk to her. You're a good-looking guy. You wouldn't have any problems."

"You really think so?"

I nodded, "Yeah."

"But if you help me out, she'd definitely say yes," he said quickly, "come on. I turned in that last assignment on time."

"Are you saying that if I hook you up with Britta you'll turn in all of your assignments for your class?"

"Exactly," he said with a smile, "That."

"You realize that if you don't turn your assignments in it's just hurting you right?"

"Woah," Kevin said, dropping the hacky sack, "are you just gonna let Vaughn hurt himself like that, Tawney?"

"No," I said quickly, eyes wide. Last thing I needed would be a bunch of stoner hippies thinking I would ever let Vaughn do anything to hurt himself, “no…I would never…”

Vaughn smiled, "so you'll help me out?"

I sighed, "sure."

"You are most definitely not a b," Vaughn said, putting an arm around me, "you are a good soul, Tawney Cat."

"Tawney Cat?"

He smiled, and looked at Kevin, "Good person alert, right here."

"YEAH!" Kevin said, holding his hand out for a high five. I obliged him, and the rest of the guys in his clique cheered.

"There she is," I said with a smirk, "she's into super laid back guys. Just say hi."

"Cool," Vaughn said nodding along. He turned towards her, "Britta! Hey. What's up?"

I could see her light up from the sidewalk, "hey Vaughn! How's it going?"

"No worries!"

Jeff and Britta began turning back towards one another, and Vaughn hugged me rather excitedly, "oh my gosh man, it worked."

"Told ya so," I laughed, "I gotta go to class with Britta."

"Alright. Catch ya lates, Tawney."

"Later, Vaughn. Bye Kevin. Marco. Sam!"

"Lates," they chorused, “Peace!”

I walked up to Britta. Jeff had walked off when I got close, but Britta was staring at me and her eyes were wide, "oh my god, you know Vaughn!"

"He cozies up to me because I keep him on track for his Psych class with Professor Duncan."

"You have to spill everything about him," she smiled, "he's so hot."

"Didn't you just kiss Winger the other night?"

"Jeff?" she asked. I nodded and she shook her head, "that was nothing. I was helping him get an A in Whitman's class. Hey I didn't see you in Spanish today. Where were you?"

"Had to run errands for Slater and Duncan. Gave an excuse to Senor Chang. Did I miss anything fun?"

"Well, someone gave him a bad eval, so that lunatic checked it against everyone's hand writing from tests," she replied. My eyes went wide. She nodded, "yeah. We think it was Annie."

"Geez," I muttered, "Well did you at least have fun with Jeff?"

She rolled her eyes, "he doesn't want to walk with Shirley to class so he waited for me. He got kind of upset though when he found out we had to stop walking because we're going to our class, and his is in another direction."

"What's wrong with Shirley?"

"I don't know," she sighed, "I think she's kind of nice."

I shrugged, and we made our way to class.

"So any new developments with you and Abed?"

I felt a new wave of heat creeping up my cheeks, "no."

"You are lying so bad," Britta laughed, "and anyways, Abed is acting weirder than normal too. Did you guys make out more?"

"No," I said, telling the truth, "I invited him over and we watched a few movies then fell asleep."

"You two just fell asleep?" she asked. "You guys didn't hook up or anything."

I shook my head, "you realize I wasn't joking when I told you Abed was my first kiss the other day, right?"

"I really can't believe that still, Tawney," she said quickly, "Abed, the same guy who used me and Jeff to mimic his parents for a film? The same guy who always references television as real life."

"I think it's kind of adorable that he does that," I admitted, "I mean everyone needs a way to cope with life. Reality really sucks sometimes. I remember being a teenager and in high school. Guys would always pass me up. Hell for my prom a few years ago, when I finally had the courage to ask a guy in my class. You know what he did? He said 'no thanks.' Then he asked if he could have the tickets for the girl he had a crush on."

"Tawney!" she sighed, "that's so terrible."

"And I felt so embarrassed, I just gave him the tickets anyways. I skipped out on my senior prom. I was pretty much invisible. I was Annie, but without the Adderall!"

"Well, no girl should ever have to feel like that," Annie said, jumping into the conversation. I nearly jumped out of my skin, “ever!”

"Oh my god, Annie I'm so so-"

"No," she said, holding a hand up, "I know what that's like Tawney. No girl should ever have to feel like we did. I mean I never had a story like that in high school... but that's probably because I dropped out by then."

I felt myself getting more and more embarrassed by the second. I didn't want to be in this discussion, but somehow it had happened.

"What you need is a good old-fashioned makeover," Annie said, rather excitedly, "We can go to the mall, and the salon. It'll be a lot of fun."

"Oh yeah," Britta said, less than enthusiastically, "let's throw a new coat of paint on you. Is that all you think she is? Some mindless pleasure-bot?"

"Guys?"

They both looked at me.

"I don't...I don't feel comfortable with any of this. I mean, sure I didn't get attention in high school or anything...but I'm with Abed now, and he seems to like me just the way I am."

"Wait, you're with Abed?" Annie asked. I felt the color drain from my face.Abed hadn't technically asked me to be his girlfriend or anything. So we weren't technically together...we'd just kissed. And hung out.

"I...I don't..." I stuttered, “I mean…”

Chapter 5

#down the rabbit hole #abed community #community show #community #abed nadir #troy and abed #abed #troy community #troy barnes #britta perry #annie edison #shirley bennett #pierce hawthorne #jeff winger

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coffee-and-vroomvroom · 7 years

Text

So, I’ve been sitting on these for a couple of weeks, trying to come up with something good, but there were a few headcanons that I really couldn’t work with. I ended up deleting those I couldn’t write, and these are the ones that I thought were ok.

This goes for the amazing, lovely, fantastic @theianitor, because I was feeling a bit guilty (lol not really) that I made you sad the last time I wrote headcanons for you. I guess today is a good day to post these and I hope they make you happy. Fluffiness is not my strongest suit, so I hope you like them. I’ll go back to my usual angsty-queen-self after these xD

Grattis på födelsedagen :)

===

Gives nose/forehead kisses: Seb loves to give Jenson nose kisses, especially since Jenson is not very fond of his nose for some reason (nonsense, right?). For Jenson, forehead kisses are the way to go. It has turned into a habit giving Seb a one-armed-hug accompanied by a kiss in the forehead, although his favourites are actually eskimo kisses.

Gets jealous the most: They aren't jealous about the other for the sake of being jealous, but both Seb and Jenson have their sore points when it comes to jealousy. Jenson gets moody and cranky whenever he sees Seb smiling too much at Kimi in the podium, and Seb gets really quiet and distant whenever he finds Jenson doing nothing to stop Nico's shameless flirting (it’s an ego thing, but Seb hates it).

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: Ok, let's be fair, they don't usually drink, so it's easy for them to get drunk, but Seb is a total lightweight. Which is pretty much the reason why Jenson has to usually pick him up after any celebration dinner with his Ferrari mechanics after a win. He doesn’t mind that Seb gets a bit handsy with him whenever that happens, although it can be really distracting when he’s trying to drive them home in one piece.

Takes care of on sick days: Jenson. Seb is completely useless whenever he's sick (and a pain in the ass). Geez! Germans love to complain even when running a fever! But Seb usually makes it up to him by getting Jenson his favourite cake once he’s feeling better.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: Seb loves being in the water on beachdays, while Jenson usually sticks to playing volley with the rest of the guys, so Seb is the one making the dragging to the water here. He likes playing volley too, but he also enjoys making out in the water with his bf *wink*

Gives unprompted massages: Jenson. He's always sending things he sees on twitter or instagram, especially when Seb is away on racing weekends. Seb thinks he’s a bit addicted to social media, and teases Jenson for it, ever since that one time he accidentally took Jenson’s phone instead of his own and saw that Jenson’s most checked instagram hashtag was “#cakestagram”.

Drives/rides shotgun: Seb drives, because he's too much of a control freak not to and because it gets on Jenson's nerves how restless Seb gets when he's not the one at the wheel. No matter how much he trusts Jenson, he cannot just sit back and enjoy the ride. At least not this type of ride, ifyaknowwhatImean.

Brings the other lunch at work: Jenson is the one usually annoying Britta (poor soul) to make sure Seb hasn’t (once again) forgotten lunch because he’s too busy obsessing over the car.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: Oh god, BOTH. Fernando and Mark have a video of these two, drunk out of their minds, dancing on top of a table, on a night out after testing in Barcelona. Neither Jenson nor Seb remember that (and they don’t know the blackmailing material the other two have on them!).

Brings up having kids: They are putting away the groceries after going shopping on a free Saturday morning when Jenson asks Seb what he thinks about having kids. The question comes so unexpectedly, and with such bad timing that Seb drops the jar of olives he was taking out of the shopping bag. And while Jenson panics a bit inside, Seb jokes about how fortunate it was that he dropped a glass jar and not a kid, and that he should better start practicing if they were going to be parents at some point.

#theianitor #f1 headcanons #sebson #eva writes #f1 fanfic

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undulated-raptor · 7 years

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Thoughts on “Introduction to Film”

So, let’s talk about the show Community. It has been one of my favorite shows since I first started watching it. I still remember when it first came out in 2009, I was a Sophomore in High School, and I had just seen promos for some new show that had Chevy Chase. I had loved his movies (specifically National Lampoon’s Vacation and Christmas Vacation) growing up, and was thrilled to see him weekly on TV.

Until episode six: “Football, Feminism, and You”. Chevy Chase’s character, Pierce Hawthorne, has the quote “As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one black hole worth studying. It’s called Sagittarius A, it’s located in the center of our galaxy, and it has the density of 40 suns. Just like my wiener.” As with all great uncomfortable moments of TV and movies, my mom had just happened to be walking by at that moment. As such, Community was no longer allowed to be recorded. It faded away from the front of my mind for several years, before I came back to it eventually on DVD. I blasted through the first four seasons (as that was all that was available on DVD at the time), loving almost every moment of it. It quickly became one of my absolute favorites. The comedy is brilliant, the crazier, more “quirky” episodes are beautifully crafted, but most importantly, the relationships are perfect.

Since that watch, I’ve seen almost everything related to Community, and just can’t get enough. Earlier this week, I just found that all six seasons are on Hulu, and so it is time for another rewatch. I’m currently almost done with the first season, and after having watched it at least a dozen times, there are so many things that keeps jumping out at me, making me love it even more than before. Take, for example, episode three: “Introduction to Film”. Written by Dan Harmon himself, this episode was the first to really emotionally connect with me. By using the first two episodes to begin and introduce the audience to Danny Pudi’s Abed Nadir, Community begins to set up this delightfully quirky character that seems to exist just to have funny lines and pop culture references. Then this episode happens. We begin his episode story arc by hearing Abed mention that he isn’t a fan of Robin Williams movies because “In every movie there’s an authority figure that gets mad at him for making people laugh”. This seems as an innocent enough remark, until we, moments later, hear Abed tell the group that his dad is only paying for classes that will help set him up for the family falafel business and not his Film Class.

Throughout the episode, we see as the rest of the group, specifically Joel McHale’s Jeff Winger (who’s been shown to be a cynical, apathetic, guy only really out for himself) and Gillian Jacobs' Britta Perry (who’s been shown to be passionate, caring, and self-sacrificial in a shallow, selfish, way) clash over how to treat Abed. Britta writes him a check for his class, which sets up an eventual confrontation between her and Abed’s father Gobi Nadir, played by (I kind of hate myself for referencing him this way, because it’s kind of not that great of a show, but he’s hilarious in it) Glee’s Iqbal Theba.

As the episode progresses, we see Jeff and Britta arguing over Abed and the way Britta involves herself in his life, all the while Abed is filming, mentioning that the first assignment for his class is a documentary, stating that his is about his dad. We then see the first interaction between Britta, Jeff, and Mr. Nadir, where Britta and Mr. Nadir begin arguing, with Mr. Nadir mentioning that Abed is “a special boy” and that “it was hard enough to talk to him before, now we have this [the camera] between us!”, eventually exclaiming “You want to raise him? You raise him. I’m out!” Then Abed tells Jeff that he thinks Jeff should play his father. Jeff replies “I don’t wanna be your father”, and Abed retorts “That’s perfect, you already know your lines”. This moment, in and of itself, is pretty heartbreaking.

The episode continues, and we see Jeff and Britta’s already strained friendship turning worse. Eventually, they find out that Abed has skipped film class in order to shoot his movie, and Britta confronts him about it. After that, she gets upset and walks out of the room, to which Jeff looks at his camera and says “I think you are really weird, Abed. And I think the wrong person just left.” Again, a heartbreaking moment for a character that you’re only beginning to feel sympathy for.

The final confrontation happens between Jeff, Britta, and Mr. Nadir in the study room, a place we’ve come to associate as a “safe place” for this group of outcasts and losers. As they begin to argue again, Abed stops them all so that they can watch his movie. The movie is absolutely heart-wrenching, as we see poorly photoshopped pictures of Abed’s mom and dad over Britta and Jeff, watching them argue that there’s something wrong with him. It ends with the scene of Britta/Abed’s mom leaving the room and Jeff/Mr. Nadir saying again that the wrong person left. We see the reaction faces of Jeff, Britta, and Mr. Nadir, seeing that Mr. Nadir is tearing up watching this movie. He turns to Abed, and in Arabic, says that “I never blamed you for her leaving”, to which Abed replies “You never had to say it”. Mr. Nadir then turns to Britta and Jeff, telling them “My son is hard to understand. If making movies helps him be understood, then I’ll pay for the class”. It’s a touching moment, and a moment that helps us really understand the character of Abed Nadir. No longer do we see him as just a quirky character that’s there to make “meta” humor. He’s a deeply flawed character, desperately clinging to pop culture references because that’s the only way he has to connect with the people around him.

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest episodes of the entire series Community, and in the running for one of the greatest episodes in the history of television. The entire “A” plot, with Abed, is beautifully crafted. The “B” plot, dealing with guest star John Michael Higgins' Professor Whitman, who teaches his class as Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, throwing away books, having them stand on desks, trying to teach these adult students to “Seize the Day!” We see a little into Yvette Nicole Brown’s Shirley Bennett's background, when Professor Whitman forces her into answering why she is there at Greendale. She eventually gets flustered and says “Because I wasted fifteen years of my life with a man who left me with nothing but stretchmarks and a memory of two bland orgasms and now it’s time to get what’s mine!” Again we see the hidden rage under Shirley’s nice, kind demeanor, and we hear more of what her marriage was before he left her and she came to Greendale. Also with this “B” plot, we see Jeff desperately trying to fake “Seizing the Day” for Professor Whitman.

In this episode we also Pierce Hawthorne (back when his character was more flushed out, and while being racist/homophobic, still had redeeming qualities and moments of great humanity/wisdom) try to coach Danny Glover’s Troy Barnes in how to sneeze like a man, as well as one of the greatest Pierce moments of the series. (When he beats Annie’s “most racist thing I’ve ever heard” by asking that Shirley isn’t Troy’s mother in only 29 seconds.) The only character really side-lined in this episode is Alison Brie’s Annie Edison, who is more flushed out through the rest of the season.

In all, “Introduction to Film” is a brilliant episode that perfectly balances humor and emotional depth to weave characters together. While the first two episodes are great at setting up the idea of the show and the general concept of the Greendale Seven, this episode in particular really kicks off the series and is what puts it in the Pantheon of television shows. “Introduction to Film”, is, in essence, the real Introduction to Community.

#Community #Abed Nadir #Jeff Winger #Britta Perry #Shirley Bennett #Annie Edison #Troy Barnes #Pierce Hawthorne #Introduction to Film #Dan Harmon #Iqbal Theba #Danny Pudi #documentary #heartbreaking #character development

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