Tumgik
#and acknowledge that her hate was wrongly placed
fandom-rants · 10 months
Text
It's so weird that people keep saying that Wanda's trauma is because of Tony. "Tony's weapons attacked her home! It's Tony's fault!" Actually, those weapons were sold by Obadiah Stane (if they were Stark Industries' weapons at all, but we'll ignore how the logo is wrong because it might just be a continuity error). Tony actually is the person who stopped Stane the instant he found out about it. So in fact, Tony is the one who prevented what happened to Wanda from ever happening again.
But for some reason we can't say that. Everyone cries foul. They say we're trying to erase Wanda's trauma. Instead of, you know, redirecting it to the proper source. But I guess it's easier to take up the narrative Wanda created (and loudly and consistently spouts) instead of looking at the truth (which is never said out loud in the movies and is left to be inferred). Because children don't understand how to think critically.
73 notes · View notes
debatenarutooocs · 1 year
Note
Hi, this is one of Seelen's pal. 
She asked me to submit the allegedly "Naruto x Kushina" Hentai photo because she doesn't have time to provide evidence to refute it due to work. https://imgur.com/7MToDpc
The first picture is a commission Hentai of BraveKingShishio's character Makali and Kushina that Seelen created in 2018 for BraveKingShishio. I censored it of course. https://imgur.com/3PnHq3K
The second image is an edited version that a random person made of the commission and submitted to rule34. 
If you look closely, you can tell that the image has been modified in several different places.
1. Skin tone that is the same to that of the original OC.
2. The logo of Seelenkaetzchen The editor neglected to fill in the white gaps of the original white background of the image in her logo when creating the colorful background.
3. Hair from "Naruto" The shading in particular reveals that the hair's color was altered in several places. You just have to take a closer look.
I didn't predict anything more from Rin/Rin Defender than a last-ditch effort to grasp at anything to cast Seelen in a negative light. But anons statement was once more shown to be untrue. Keep in mind Rin or Rin defender that it was Rins fault and that she deserved to be criticized for what she did to Seelen and all of the other people including a big number of other Gaara x Oc creators, a few artists Rin commissioned, and Rins former closest friend Kora Bani / Koemi Chinoike. In fact Rin was the one to get things going by publishing untruths about Seelen and thenerdscorner publically in her stories and demonized descriptions in her subsequent image uploads. Having the nerve to tag their accounts even. Rin didn't want to and still refuse to apologize to Seelen for calling her out in the stories  she made up about her filled with lies and false accusations and I won't go into detail about anything else she did because it was made public. Additionally, Seelen is aware that Rin continues to misrepresent everything that occured to other people because they approached her to address it.
Now that Kora Bani expressed regret for her actions as an adult and made amends with Seelen, Rin obviously can't get over what happened because she's still bitter we all seen how Rin mistreated a lot of people including her buddy. 
Rin, you're the root of the issues you refuse to address. Leave Seelen alone and carry on with your miserable life.
Wow so someone stole Seelen's cm that she drew for braveking (kushina x male oc) and edited out to try to frame her as "incest" shipper? Yikes.
The truth will always come out! Now we all see the proof that it wasn't her who drew kushina x naruto incest art. Right now it must be embarassing for Rin defenders who litterally slandered Seeleen.
I dont get why Rin hates Seelen so badly, and to be obsessed to ruin Seelen's reputation.... it's not normal.Rin Mori needs to see a therapist to talk it out. She is so deluded to think she must drag and blame seelen who had nothing to do with original situation.
I honestly can't believe Rin won't acknowledge her mistakes and for wrongly accusing random people. It is unfortunately because in my opinion her behavior shows she feels no remorse nor guilt for hurting innocent people. It is concerning. She should learn from her friend korabani at least she took responsability of her actions and apologized to Seelen.
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
greatbigshabba-blog · 3 months
Text
i wish i was cis, yk? like i really hate being trans, its an opinion i keep mostly to myself but im trans because i wish i was a cis woman. I never realized how bad it hurt until i started medically transitioning, but being percieved as a man in public makes me feel so horrible that its not even worth it. I do all this work, all the time, and its not enough.
Im older, 25, going to college because after 2 failed attempts, i want to make the debt mean something. I want that fucking piece of paper that says i didnt give up. Im even taking an in person class about something im very interested in to keep my moral up, but, its a discussion based class and i so deeply want to be included. Im paired up in this group of 5 and no one knows how to interact with me, my ideas are shot down and im forced to be silent. Thats an intrensictly womanhood thing yk? but not when the rest of the group was women. They could all connect on some level that they wouldnt let me in on. I know theres an aspect to this, that people who deserve my presence will acknowledge me as human, but its too little too late. How am i supposed to feel like a woman when im treated like an animal. I left that class crying, just because i couldnt handle the pressure of being my own advocate.
I try really hard. on a certain level i even think i "pass", i know im not even unattractive. Sometimes, men hit on me and make uncomfortable advances. But then, most of the time, im treated horribly and wrongly by everyone. I work a service job, and every day, all day, 5 days a week im dealt with microaggressive blows only to be mopped up by 1 customer in every 50 that treats me either like a sex object or a human.
I have a wonderful girlfriend. The best love i have ever experienced. she loves me, treats me right, but she is cis. I complain about these pangs, and she cant help. She knows im a woman. It hurts even more becuase i cant know what that means to her on a deep level. She loves me too much for me to trust her about my transition.
I have one hope, that im somehow able to afford the surgeries, all of them. Just so that i can stop feeling so hopeless about my gender of all fucking things. Gender! something so much of the population never even has to think about and im prepared to be in a lifetime of debt in order to get to that same place. Im not okay, im so tired, i cant do this anymore and i want to be cis so badly.
i have a multitude of trans friends, im not helped by them either. I only feel ungrateful that i cant be as trans as them, as euphoric in the identity of transness that they sometimes embody. My own trans misogony is running so deep that i cant happily be trans like them and im trying so so hard to fix that. Im done tho, i want the surgeries, i want to say i have undeniably done everything i could besides being born cis. I cant enjoy my body anymore, its a violent prison that i feel i extole violently on the public population. My day to day life feels like a brawl that i am losing.
0 notes
walkonpooh · 7 months
Text
Holly - Stephen King Review
Tumblr media
** spoiler alert ** So in the afterward of Stephen King's newest novel, Holly (a continuation of the character Holly Gibney that first appeared in The Bill Hodges Trilogy, then The Outsider and the novella collection If It Bleeds and I believe is now his most written character other than Roland Deschain and the Ka-tet), Stephen King says that while Holly Gibney shares many of his own political beliefs and thoughts on life in the post-Trump Presidency and the time period when Covid was a national conversation, he hopes that if he were writing the opposite perspective, that he would be able to give that perspective justice. I don't know that I agree.
It doesn't take more than a brief glance at Stephen King's twitter feed to confirm that the man is obsessed with politics in the Trump era and specifically with Donald Trump himself. It could be he has always been this way and having easier and quicker access to his thoughts via social media confirms that, it's hard to say. It's clear to anyone who has ever read any one of his books, that Stephen King is a liberal. Always has been from when Carrie was published through now. So if you're reading a Stephen King book and you're mad that he's mad about Trump, then you're the problem. Not him.
I guess where I fall on this and granted, I haven't read everything of his (I've read 56 of his novels/short story collections and am working on the rest) is I feel he's gotten less adept at writing about politics, particularly in his fictional work (and his tweets to me read like MSNBC headlines, all bark no bite unlike Cujo). Like I said, he's always trashed republican politicians, even going back to the Reagan Administration, but he used to be so great at finding the voice of the modern, every day average person, regardless of that persons political view, they were a fleshed out character, that from their point of view, you could understand why they think the way they do.
I've only read If It Bleeds, Later and Holly in the Trump era (I think The Outsider was probably written before Trump), but I'm fairly positive Trump shows up in every one of those books, if only by name and every Trump supporting character is unintelligent, described in a way that gives them some sort of gross deformity or they're straight up evil. There's no attempt at examining why someone might support Donald Trump, beyond the fact that they're clearly just into authoritarianism.
There's no acknowledging the very real idea that at least in 2016, there was a group of Bernie supporters that also supported Donald Trump, because they were both espousing populist ideas. I know a lot of highly intelligent people that support Trump, but have reservations about the man himself, his actions, tweets, but love his policies. But even horrific politicians in his previous books, guys who in their respective stories like Greg Stillson, do even worse things (uh hello global nuclear war) than what Trump did in actuality, there's a kernel of understanding that Stephen King writes into them. It gives us interest and like/hate in those characters.
So yeah, it's impossible not to not talk about this, because it's such a glaring thing in the book. I don't think wrongly. In the period Holly takes place, Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Covid were large topics (I feel the same way about his treatment of unvaccinated people (I have the latest booster FYI so I'm completely vacc'd), he doesn't seem to understand there are reasons why someone might be unvaccinated other than to "own the libs"). So that out of the way...
Holly Gibney of the Finders Keepers private detective agency has a new case. Bonnie Dahl has gone missing and her mother Penny has hired Holly, based on recommendations, to find her missing daughter. Initially reluctant to take the case because she had recently lost her own mother due to complications with Covid and her own proclivities, Holly begins to look into the case, to discover that several people have gone missing in that area.
Meanwhile, Professors Rodney and Emily Harris, an elderly couple that are semi-retired, have a dark secret hidden in their basement.
Okay. So I do *not* feel this is a spoiler. Stephen King intentionally lets you know, just as he did in Mr. Mercedes, very quickly who the killer(s) are. That's certainly a method. One that, for me, Stephen King doesn't do a great job at fulfilling here. While yes, I'm, sickened by what the killer of Mr. Mercedes did, or the Harris' do here in Holly, there's no tension for me. There's not a second of this book, especially with how much Stephen King has talked about in interviews and the like, that I'm worried for Holly Gibney. I know she'll have some scars mentally and physically, but I know she's going to make it through.
I *liked* this book. I didn't love it. It was sort of middling Stephen King for me. I think where it misses the mark for me is the "Alfred Hitchcock bomb under the table" method of storytelling, where I think Hitchcock is a master at, these pseudo detective stories that Stephen King has been doing, I'm not sure they click for me in the way that he wants them to. And again, King used to be a master at this with things like "That was the last time they ever saw __________ alive". The reveals of the killers here and in Mr. Mercedes just undercuts the tension for me. There's nothing from them in the way that Stephen King has been great at in the past (making amazing, sympathetic villains). They're doing horrific stuff for minimal gains it seems like, they're what, if what they believe *is* true, which the novel undercuts, then they're extending their lives by a few years at best. That's just not all that interesting for me
Where the book does work and for me it's the same thing as in If It Bleeds, is the character of Holly Gibney. I'm with King in that she's one of the best things that he's done in the last decade. I'm just not completely on board with this having been a story worthy of Holly. Especially a titular story. I don't know that we learned anymore about Holly here than we did in previous stories with her. In fact I don't feel like there's a lot of character development at all for Holly, she's much the same at the beginning and end of the novel.
One of the reasons I *liked* the novel is the interactions between Jerome and Vera Steinman. I thought that was one aspect of the story where King absolutely nailed what he was going for here. The horror of the situation, the grief and impact of losing a loved one in a horrific way. I loved every time those two characters were with one another and would love to see Jerome, especially with his life taking off, expanded upon further.
Lastly, I feel like I'm confused about Holly's age. I don't know if it's because of the actors who have portrayed her, but my impression of Holly in The Outsider and If It Bleeds was that she was in her thirties. Was there a time skip that I'm not aware of, because King clearly states that she is in her early fifties here.
So yeah, I feel like I was mostly critical here. I'm sure many people will disagree with my thoughts here. But I love Stephen King and his works. Even when I disagree with him (not even saying I disagree with him in many topics that he covers in Holly, just don't think he was successful for me in conveying these topics). I wouldn't have read as much of him as I have if I were not. So if you liked Mr. Mercedes and that trilogy, then I would recommend Holly. If you were more into the supernatural aspects of The Outsider and If It Bleeds, well, maybe you'd be a little more middling to Holly like myself.
3/5
0 notes
cats-in-the-clouds · 2 years
Text
saw a recent take in response to that post about the detra/ns girl who now hated her body after having had surgeries and hormone replacements and it was essentially just ‘see this is just gender dysph/oria, the same way tra/ns people have it, but you people only care when it’s detr/ans people. why can’t you acknowledge that this is what it feels like for us too and support us too’
which, first and foremost, is much more refreshing than tras outright ignoring the issue of detr/ans people, or acknowledging them in passing but denying they’ve really suffered all that much so they should therefore quiet down. that’s how a lot of tras are so it’s really nice to see otherwise
so i had to think about it for a moment and my response is essentially… you’ve identified a similarity, yes. but what are the differences? does body dysphoria come from the same place for each person?
compare a girl who hates her body because she’s been taught that being female is bad in some way, a girl whose psychological state is being altered by excessive internet use, a girl tired of performing femininity in a certain socially accepted way, a girl whose mind has been filled with ideas by other people that maybe she’d be happier if she tried living as a boy, a girl who just really wants to experiment with her style and reinvent herself, a girl who’s curious about something she doesn’t have, whatever reason someone might have for wishing they were the other sex/gender…
…and a girl who hates her body because she’s had extreme and unnatural surgeries done to it that will never be reversed, a girl who has lost her childhood but will never gain the ability to progress to physical adulthood either, a girl who has been essentially experimented on, a girl who has lost something she USED to have so her longing is for something she personally knows well.
kind of like the difference between wishing you had a dragon body with cool wings and claws or whatever, and missing your arms that someone chopped off one day. the first one, unless you have a severe mental illness, is an idea that someone else put in your head. that discordant feeling is not innate to you. you will most likely get over it eventually, or at least stop earnestly wishing for it.
the second one you might be able to adjust to over time, but you will feel that loss for your entire life. it is a feeling of recognizing that things aren’t supposed to be this way for you. it is the result of something that someone else did to you, wrongly, and you are angry at them. you might be able to adjust and learn to love yourself as you are now. but you still know something is wrong.
pretty fascinating how both cases are usually a result of tra/ns ideology. you lead people to hate themselves by implying that it’s ok to think a fully functioning and natural body feature of theirs is a flaw somehow, and that maybe they’d be happier if they tried changing it. then they get angry after you’ve gotten them to ruin their bodies irreversibly. so yeah, that’s why de/tra/ns people have a right to slander the tra/ns movement. their pain is tras’ fault.
0 notes
izzymeadows · 2 years
Note
You do realize El was about to kiss Mike in Ep 7 of S1, yeah? She was doing a lean in the same way he was. The feelings between them were already there/reciprocated. It’s common for that tween age group to develop crushes, explore first kisses, ect.
And to say she had no concept of love or a kiss seems quite false. See above as to why she clearly understood the concept of a kiss. And when he kissed her in Ep 8, she was maybe a little surprised but not unreceptive. She smiled at him.
See Episode 8 as well to see that she very clearly understood/understand the concept of love. She was quite able to understand that Papa’s ‘love’ was bad. That that wasn’t really love at all. And who was she crying out for instead? The person she cries for *every time.* Mike. Who does she say goodbye to before she disappears? Mike. Who was she very obviously trying to ‘save’ the most? Mike. It’s a pattern she follows in later seasons too.
And this really isn’t even like, a Mileven thing or something…The fandom has this massive tendency to infantalize Eleven to a huge degree. She can’t have this and that because she was raised in a lab. She can’t do this and that because she was raised in a lab. I see it over and over. Should we say the same about every child raised in an atypical way? Are they all supposed to be hopeless?
Eleven isn’t dumb. And just because she was raised in a lab does not mean she can’t understand abstract things like love, kindness, ect. It’s actually a strength of her character that despite being raised in that quite terrible place, she was still able to develop her own sense of morality, good and evil, love and hate, right and wrong.
To say she can’t understand those concepts does her a distinct disservice.
I'm publishing this because the analysis is really good, but i fail to see where did i say or imply eleven is dumb. Quite the opposite, i'm always saying she's smart and willing to learn. I also never said she can't understand those concepts, I said she doesn't have them at first. Which, I'll concede to you, was wrongly worded, because I didn't mean the concepts themselves, but the vocabulary and resources to understand them in a more conscious level (i don't know if this makes the sense i want it to make, sorry).
Anyway no, i didn't see what you say in episode 7, or i did but i don't remember idk. My memory is a mess, I'm gonna have to rewatch! But either way, when i talked about that kiss, i wasn't saying she didn't want it, i was saying she probably wouldn't have known how to reject it if she had wanted to, because she wasn't allowed to have her own wants met, or even acknowledged, before. Also, even knowing what a kiss was, she probably didn't know everything it could imply (i also worded this wrongly). That's what makes it uncomfortable to me. Again, she had a terrible upbringing, which means she lacks knowledge of certain stuff, not intelligence. The show makes it clear she is, in fact, really clever. Look at how fast she learns! After living most of her life as a tool in a lab, and then what's shown in season 2, which isn't a "normal life" either because she wasn't socializing like other kids her age! And then she acts almost the same as the others! She's really smart and i never said she's hopeless. And if somebody does say it, they're wrong. What i said (or at least, what i meant, i might have messed up at expressing myself, wouldn't be the first time tbh) is that she needs more time than she's had until now to fully learn everything she didn't know. And i'm positive she will, and it will be super interesting to watch, and i'll still be able to be like a proud mother hen with her.
Sorry for the long rant, but i don't like people thinking i'm here badmouthing Eleven. I'm not. I love her. She's good, kind, brave, strong, smart and caring and deserves all the good things in the world. Including a good character development, which she's having from the beginning.
I like how you said El having the strong morals she has, despite having grown up in that terrible environment, is a strength of her character. 100% agree.
55 notes · View notes
dragynkeep · 2 years
Note
I have to say, Weiss' criticisms of the WF felt pretty hollow. They assassinated the heads of a slaving mega-corp, so your dad decided to be abusive to you so they're bad?
it was definitely a place where the white fang & blake / weiss arc dropped the ball because that is a motivation that makes sense for weiss combined with how hate spreads; the wf murdered people she probably knew in her father’s company & he took it out on her so they’re the bad guys.
but the show then never challenged that. they never challenged any of the things weiss said or how she thought! she just decided she wasn’t mad at blake anymore for lying & that was it. she never apologised to blake or sun, she never did any self reflection & she was never held accountable for the horrific things she said or her stances on things.
the only time they do is when we get to v7 & weiss blames herself for the actions of the sdc which a. comes off super white guilt - y but also b. doesn’t solve anything! it isn’t even accurate! weiss as an abused minor wasn’t responsible for the actions of her father or his mega corp that enslaved faunus, that was never her responsibility or what fans wanted her to be held accountable for. we wanted her to acknowledge the system she benefitted from & actually apologise to blake & sun for being a racist little goblin. we wanted her to empower blake in tackling the racism in her life, not have an uwu white saviour girlboss moment by throwing a racist in a bin which was explicitly against blake’s wishes.
honestly the current writing team proves that being a person of colour doesn’t automatically bestow you with knowledge on how to write a racism storyline because eddy was part of the writing team  —  though not a writer of the episode  — at this point & that episode was hot fucking garbage. even for those who wrongly consider miles poc, this doesn’t dispute the fact that none of them knew how to write racism & only made it fucking worse by time we got to v7 & 8.
29 notes · View notes
harostar · 3 years
Note
Your real problem with Hbomb is that is isn't a fan you approve of. He doesn't do fandom in a way you see as valid. So you want to just say he's lying and through away the actual issues he brings up. Like he has sections on places Monty's writing doesn't work. You just want everyone to act a certain way and only do fandom how you say they should. You're a bad fan.
be driven by a desire for Clout or making money from people hating something- This is an opinion you have no idea why people make things. I mean Hbomb had a whole section on why flawed racial allegory stories can misrepresent and harm real racial struggles. You don't know the dude you have no proof anyone's takes are for Clout/money and not actual concern. I could just as easily wrongly and grossly say Kdin is stiring drama for clout to support her brand and get money. You don't know people.
(I don’t know that you’re the same anon, but it seems like it so all one response.)
Oh no, oh no. You have found me out. I’m a BAD FAN.
Rather, I’m a very old Ancient Fan that has watched the rise of online fandom and witnessed the increasingly unhealthy behaviors that have emerged.
Hatedom in particularly is a very troubling phenomena, one where people invest so much time and energy and even MONEY into something they do not like or energy. I don’t have any links on hand, but studies have shown that these kinds of online behaviors are UNHEALTHY for people. That so much emotion and energy invested into negative outlets isn’t good for people, and that it creates a ripple effect of negativity that sours the fandom as a whole. It makes it less accessible to people, it takes a toll on creators, and it makes what is a HOBBY into something that causes more stress.
I don’t know about Hbomb as an individual, but I have my doubts about his sincerity. The weird Hatedom that has risen up around RWBY has caused a bandwagon effect, where people have been creating content solely to bash it because it earns them Clicks. It’s honestly kind of a weird thing to see happening, but there seems to be an attraction towards negativity born from places like 4chan and reddit.
Like I’ve said, the concrete evidence is this:
Hbomb asked people what to make
He stated he doesn’t like RWBY
The poll was heavily influenced by this statement 
Hbomb makes money from the video
Hbomb makes false statements framing himself within the myth of “Monty the great artist and his dream stolen by greedy Miles and Kerry + RT”. His claims to have always admired Monty are provably false using his own words.
He only covers the first three volumes, which EVERYONE acknowledges were a rough product on a shoe-string budget with inexperienced crew
Therefore, I am suspicious of his honesty and his intentions. I don’t know the man personally, but I make the choice not to support him because I feel there is sufficient evidence to make his intentions and credibility questionable.
And seriously, we’re going to drag Kdin into this? Someone that had a really shitty day yesterday, and has taken huge risks in putting a lot of herself out there for the world to judge. 
104 notes · View notes
enderspawn · 3 years
Note
Quick question, I been in the fandom for a long ass time (since the first sadist animatic since I was a fan of sadist since their Batim days) so I think I good grasp on all of the folk in the smp but uh.... I kinda realised that I have no clue why c!Niki hates c! Wilbur and even more so, why does everyone thinks she's a girlboss for it??? Did I miss an entire plotline orrrr?
(sent this to a couple of other folk, hope you don't mind)
admittedly, im not the best well versed in it either (i'd recc going to mia geoguessbur, whos tbh the expert on c!wilbur and c!niki imo) but the short of it is: he realized the anger she had previously associated with tommy (because he "ruined everything", also see her attempted murder) was wrongly placed. he didn't do anything! ....and then she shifted the blame and that anger to wilbur instead of her like... dealing with her emotions. oops!
as for the girlboss thing... i think depending from person to person WHY they do it varies.
part of it is a willful ignorance of c!niki's character and her arc and instead working to fit her to a trope, i'm sure of it. likewise (though a bit cynical), i feel like a lot of people dont follow the female characters/ccs but dont want to LOOK like they dont so they... kind of fake it til they make it kind of thing? using the girlboss method is a great and easy way to show support for a character without having to actually care nor show any amount of depth in investment in who that character actually IS or going through. Again, thats a cynical view though and absolutely not the only reason ppl "girlboss-ify" characters.
some of it is encouraging bad decisions in the same way ppl chanted for wilbur to blow up lmanberg-- yeah its not healthy, but its fun and dramatic so im gonna be positive about it! go off!
some of it also (at least for me so im counting it) is like.... its more complex than you can get into comfortably (or at least casually). theres nuance and morals and what they're doing isn't right but its not a simple choice either. so you just... say girlboss instead and move on? again its also tied to the second point where you're encouraging bad actions, but with this point as compared the other like... intent that it IS deeper than that, its more tragic. you're glossing over it for the sake of levity, if that makes sense? Its a tragedy and you like it. (admittedly tho, i've used this type of "girlbossing" the most with like... c!quackity and the prison arc bc i was too tired to debate morals FJDSKLFJ)
its important tho to keep in mind the difference in how ppl treat male vs female characters with the "girlboss-ification" no matter what though. are you treating all female characters the same and glossing over their depth or erasing their character to fit a typical "strong girl" or "boss girl" archetype? also ties back to the first point, is your support superficial to make yourself look good?
theres definitely a trend in fandom i think to ignore the depth with female characters and their actions/motives while digging in deep to the male characters. men are allowed to be a tragedy while women are ''empowered'' by their tragedy. as an example off top my head: the eggpire. ive seen multiple points talking about the underlying tragedy of members like bad or ant and how they got to that point, but most ive seen about hannah are just... "yeah shes evil now #girlboss".
this isnt to say that you SHOULDNT acknowledge the depth of those male characters, nor to try and like.. single out eggpire fans, its just the clearest example i can think of. multiple characters going thru the same/similar scenarios, but the reception to them is different
despite all the of above, i dont think "girlboss-ifying" a character is inherently a bad thing. At least when used responsibly, like the second or third option presented. it IS a fun shorthand for "thing character is being active and doing things i like", often with a unsaid message of "this character is doing BAD things that i like". i dont think it should be tossed aside or never used, just used mindfully. again: why are you treating this character like this? how much do you actually know about the situation? etc.
20 notes · View notes
chitsangenthusiast · 3 years
Note
Kath my beloved, I hope you have a good day! ♥️♥️ Tell me an assortment of Sokka, Zuko, and/or Zukka headcanons that make you lose it 😳
!!!! oh i would be HAPPY to!!! put under the cut bc i kinda got excited and went off lol
sokka in general <3 after the war, there was a period where sokka and toph sometimes, sometimes, traveled around the earth kingdom and swindled conniving market tricksters out of their money. katara does NOT know, zuko does NOT know it occasionally happens in the fire nation too, and aang DOES know and secretly hates he can’t tag along bc he’s far too recognizable now lol
sokka doesn’t like cooking, but unfortunately he’s great at creating delicious dishes so he’s often forced to go to be the one who cooks during camping trips. the only people who don’t get his complaining as he cooks for them, however, is gran-gran and bato
i’ve talked abt this before, but sokka keeping his hair shaved after the war to honor his lost childhood as well as acknowledge his warrior status in his own way is smth that can be so personal <3
also i....very quietly.......hc sokka as nb he/him....and sometimes also as a grey ace/demi/sex-positive ace bisexual....bc sometimes it's nice to imagine some form of representation for myself, even in the tiniest of aspects lol
zuko and family <3 for a long time after the war, ‘uncle’ was the title that meant the most to zuko. it’s smth that everyone quickly realized, so when the gaang started having kids they were adamant to make sure zuko knew he was their children’s uncle
(yes it took him off guard. yes he cried in private every single time, especially when the kids got old enough to actually start calling him ‘uncle zuko,’ even during formal events)
it’s not until he has izumi does he finally understand the weight behind the word ‘dad.’ babe was her first word, and zuko has been on cloud nine ever since
(the whole ‘uncle being the most important’ is basically why iroh never had to adopt zuko or anything - there was no need, and after chit sang wanders back into their lives and starts joking abt how he’s zuko’s father, both of them find it incredibly hilarious lol)
zukka letters <3 after the war, zuko and sokka used to send each other COPIOUS letters. zuko’s are normal. sokka’s are always sent as packets lol (he has a habit of writing down any and all passing thoughts on scrap paper that never get transferred into one single letter, so usually he ends up just compiling them by the day they were written and bundling them together)
also in their letters: they once joked about making doomsday clocks to track their daily feelings, and so now every letter starts with a tiny lil drawing of how close they are to midnight on the day they wrote it
(before they got together zuko’s midnight was ‘letting druk burn down the palace.’ after they got together, it changed to ‘moving to the swt without any warning and living with sokka,’ which sokka finds kinda adorable but also isn’t ready to be wrongly suspected of kidnapping yet)
zukka husbands and kids <3 along with being known as the fire lord who’s trying to foster in peace and love, he’s also known as the golden fire lord - and it’s entirely bc of sokka and ty lee bc they pick out all of his gold accessories and puppy-dog-eye him until he gives in to wear everything lol
after he and sokka get married, his nickname among the public changes to the ivory fire lord (which isn’t technically right. it’s whalebone that he’s wearing in place of most of the gold, but a lot of people don’t know the difference)
zukka have two kids uwu izumi was born first ofc! for their second daughter tho, it took them awhile to settle on a good name for her. at one point sokka suggests ‘verza’ bc it sounds nice and has a z in it, but as soon as he finds out it means cabbage he backtracks hard on it
zuko finds this mf hilarious - but, unfortunately to sokka, he also thinks it’s adorable and so their second daughter’s name is verza lol
28 notes · View notes
wielderofmysteries · 4 years
Text
Jace Beleren, Masculinity, and the Trans Experience
(This post is a Twitter thread I wrote in response to a Goblin Lore podcast episode called “Jace Beleren and Toxic Masculinity”.)
I feel I have a unique perspective on this topic as a trans man. Trans man Jace isn't my headcanon, but it's an interpretation I love. He's my favorite character of all time, and as a trans man, I feel like reading Jace's flaws as toxic masculinity isn't quite right.
There are several "pillars" of toxic masculinity that Jace doesn't have. He doesn't have the self-destructive emotional repression, worship of sex and violence, or desire to subjugate women and his peers that men who experience toxic masculinity have.
Even BEFORE Ixalan, Jace was an example of many positive masculine traits. He was curious and emotionally open. He wrongly believed he could make decisions for others, but he cared for people, wanted to protect them, and couldn't sit idly by when he knew people were in danger.
In Agents of Artifice, he financially provided for Kallist and Liliana, and in Magic Story invited the Gatewatch to live in his home. Jace wanted to heal Garruk, tried to stop his rampage and had a Hedron implanted in Garruk's shoulder to relieve the effects of the curse.
"I don't want to hurt you, Garruk."
"Lucky for me, I don't feel the same way."
"Garruk, this is not a fair fight. You've suffered enough. Please. Come with me."
[...]
Jace stood in thought. Garruk held him by the throat, could end his life in an eye blink, had already proven he was immune to Jace's illusions. Garruk laughed again. If Garruk was open to having friends, then Jace might have been a good one.
"You win," said Jace. "We will leave you alone. I will not seek you out. But please, if you change your mind, come find us on Ravnica. Something is still not right here. We can help you."
In "Revelation at the Eye" Jace tells Ugin that Zendikar isn't a puzzle to be solved, and that it didn't matter if killing the Eldrazi has consequences, there are real people on Zendikar fighting for their lives and he needs to help them.
"Zendikar isn't a puzzle to be solved," said Jace. "It's a place. It's somebody's home. And those people are out there, right now, fighting for their world and wondering if anybody's going to help them kill what's killing them."
He showed scenes of suffering, then—of families mourning the lost, of landscapes ravaged by Ulamog, of even the skies and seas teeming with the Eldrazi menace.
Ugin cocked his head. The hedron architecture of the chamber seemed to melt and flow, became a pattern of tessellating dragons mocking him from the walls.
"So certain," said Ugin, "and so young."
Ral Zarek tried to kill Jace and ruined his relationship with his close friend Emmara, but in "Project Lightning Bug", Jace forgives him. Jace is honest about his feelings with Ral even after Ral was openly rude to him.
"I don't remember home," Beleren said quietly, unbidden.
"What?"
"You talked about growing up in Ravnica. A lot of my memories from my childhood are gone. Chopped up in my head into a few impressions. Most of what I remember begins here, on Ravnica. I'll never have roots here the way you do, and I admit I'm off to other planes a lot. But I think of myself as Ravnican to the core, too."
In Kaladesh block he wanted Chandra to be able to confide in him, and didn't want to stay home when he heard she could be in trouble. He used his mind magic to help Nissa sleep when she had a sensory overload in the busy city.
Nissa looked up. Jace and Gideon were exchanging a look. Both glanced at her.
They stood as one.
Jace turned toward the coat room. "I'll head to Kaladesh. It should be easy for me to—"
Lavinia appeared in his path, one hand resting on the pommel her sword. "Again?" she said, in a weary, disappointed tone.
He frowned up at her. "You can't expect me to sit here and do paperwork!"
Across the streets, beyond the barricades, the Consulate's panharmonicons are still blaring "The Gremlin's Wedding March" at us on infinite repeat at double speed. They left them on all night, and after the moon set Nissa started crying, hands clamped over her ears.
[...]
Jace sat down with her. They talked a minute and his eyes flashed. She curled up in a big potted plant and didn't wake up until the sun fell on her.
But what does being a man mean to Jace Beleren? Well, take a look at his feelings towards Gideon. Jace saw Gideon as the male ideal. I think Jace admires (and is envious of) the way Gideon is a representation of positive masculinity.
Eyes widened, jaws set. They understood their task, he was certain of that. But were they actually prepared to perform it?
What would Gideon say?
Jace smiled. Of course.
"For Zendikar," he said, raising one fist in the air. It felt thin to him, lacking Gideon's armored fist, his baritone war cry, his iron conviction.
None of that mattered. The soldiers shouted as one voice, holding their weapons aloft.
"For Zendikar!"
Gideon is not violent or hypersexual. He's kind, not afraid to ask for help, a defender rather than an aggressor. The pillars of toxic masculinity are absent in both Jace and Gideon. So why does Gideon's mere presence make Jace insecure? I think that insecurity is dysphoria.
I'm only 5 feet tall. People treat me like a kid, think I need help, and certainly don't see me as a man because I'm very small. It feels bad knowing my looks don't inspire others or make them feel safe like big tall guys can.
Gideon is super tall, muscular, conventionally attractive. He's charismatic and a natural leader. Gideon's like a human lighthouse. Jace is average height, out-of-shape, often pale and sickly, and his telepathy makes people automatically distrust him.
It's easy to see why people follow Gideon's lead so easily rather than Jace's. As a trans man, I personally related to Jace's insecurity. He feels inadequate compared to Gideon.
"I'd rather stand," said Gideon.
Jace stood up. It was an error. He still had to crane his neck to look Gideon in the eye, and now the size difference between them was glaringly obvious. He hated feeling small. Hated it.
Jace wanting to lead the Gatewatch didn't come from a desire to dominate others and be an ~alpha male~, but from a desire for people to believe in him. What Jace really wants is to prove to himself and others that he's competent and that he can be trusted.
This vision appeared whenever the man was struggling at a task.
[...]
"Listen, you aren't really suited to this task. Let me handle it." The vision's voice was gruff but friendly.
It came off as condescending.
The man was annoyed.
"I can do it myself."
The hallucination sighed. "You and I both know you're not suited to this. Let me handle it, you go philosophize on the other end of the beach."
"I said I can do it myself." The man let his irritation reach his voice.
"No, you can't. I call the shots and execute, you stand to the side. That's how this works."
The man responded by throwing his hook at the hallucination. It went straight through the figure's eye and landed behind him on the sand.
The time he spends with Vraska is so good for him! I loved that [the podcasts hosts] talked about how he was finally happy to follow someone else's lead! He didn't need to be a leader, he needed someone to trust him. She respected and loved him and thought he was incredible for who he is.
Vraska looked him in the eye. "You're incredible. You know that, right?"
Jace returned her smile and felt his cheeks warming. "I do my best."
"Well, your best is incredible," Vraska said, turning toward the central tower and approaching a large gate on what appeared to be its back side.
Liliana never told Jace he was incredible.
Liliana would have scoffed. She would have made a dismissive joke, rolled her eyes, and called him a show-off. She would not bother to talk to him for days. She would consume the body of a demon with a crocodile's jaws and laugh over the sound of its flesh tearing off. She would do all sorts of things, but she would never call him incredible.
It was important for Jace to get that validation. Now he's not insecure about his appearance. It's not that he finally developed into someone who was caring. He was caring all along, but he was held back by insecurity about how others perceive him. He learned to love himself.
Despite all his good qualities and deeds he still felt insecure because it wasn't easy to visually see him as a "strong man". I think it's important to acknowledge positive masculinity even when the man in question isn't attractive or charismatic, and even if he makes mistakes.
As a trans person, Jace's experience reminded me of the struggle to "pass". It's frightening how easily insecurity can turn into toxic masculinity when you feel different from "real men". If you don't look the part, some people will just never acknowledge you.
Next to 'perfect' guys like Gideon, it's easy to see our own perceived weaknesses and shortcomings. Easy to feel resentment for it. But from this struggle comes the strive to be better men, to be confident in ourselves, and comfortable in our bodies.
There's SO much I wanted to talk about, like how Jace's trauma shaped his need for control, how the IRL gamer guys he was created to represent actually hate him, how he's a male victim of abuse by a female partner, etc but this thread is already terribly long.
TLDR; I think toxic masculinity as a reading of Jace is missing some perspective. The trans perspective. Not all insecurity men experience is toxic masculinity. Sorry I totally should have waited until part 2 was out, but I couldn't stop thinking about that episode.
There's a lack of trans men's voices in... basically everything, and this is something I think we should definitely be included in. I'm so grateful for the Vorthos community opening these kinds of discussions. Super excited for part 2 of the podcast!
301 notes · View notes
minniepetals · 4 years
Text
utlsf; epilogue
Tumblr media
— summary: a beautiful love story you share with your Lords of the Underworld after the most difficult trial of your life is finally over.
— pairing: underworld lords!bts x shield!reader
— genre: fluff, slight angst / reincarnation!au / poly!au / gods!au
— word count: 14.8k
— warnings: implied love making
➵ until the last star falls
Tumblr media
Yoongi is so beautiful especially when he lays in bed, vulnerable to all, letting his guard down.
You trace the outline of his face, his brows, his eyes, his nose, and his lips. The two of you are the only ones remaining in the room, having yet to wake and get ready for the day. You don't know where the rest of your Lords are but the only one occupying your thoughts at the moment is Yoongi.
He's beautiful.
You cup his face in your small palms, bopping his nose once then lean up to place two little pecks on his sweet lips.
He feels it, you know he does.
Because a second later, he groans in his sleep. "I love you too but I'm trying to sleep, little one," he says, voice groggy and deep. He knows it's you and you shrink back a little, afraid of upsetting him.
"Sorry," you squeak.
He says no words but doesn't move away from you, falling back into the world of dreams. You stay resting by his side, eyes never straying away. He's so gorgeous, so mesmerizing.
Instinctively, as if he is some sort of precious jewel and you have fallen into a spell, you tilt your head slightly, retracing his features again. Yoongi says no words but moves a little so you wrap your arms around his torso as if afraid he would turn away from you and he lets you, though still half asleep, adjust yourself on top of him as he now lays on his back.
You giggle a little, wiggling your body as you move up to place more soft kisses against his jawline.
Yoongi sighs and though it sounds like he's tired of you, you know he is anything but upset you've woken him up. "What is this? Why are you doing this to me?"
His voice is so deep, so soothing and alluring. "Simple," you grin. "I am a Goddess loving my Lord."
"Finally gathering the courage to do such things? Why must you do it when the sky has just awaken? You are too much," he says but the way his hand wraps tightly around you tells you he loves it anyways.
"You cannot blame me. I had to spend three months watching my lovers loving another," you mumble through a pout.
He says nothing in response but an eye peeks open just slightly before your face allows him to frown and he flips you back onto the large bed with him now hovering over you. You cannot say another word as his lips claim yours just a split second later.
It is filled with passion, a fiercely blazing fire burning his heart. He has such an urgency to taste you, desperate for your lips, and when you let out a little moan, there is a small smirk that tugs at the corner of his lips.
But when he lets you go, his gaze is intense and sincere as he holds your face, a slight frown resting on his face. "Then we will spend the rest of our life reminding you that you are ours and we are yours." He leans in again for a little peck. "You are the Queen of the Underworld now, no one, not even Zeus himself can tear our love apart."
"Yes, I-I know." Your brows are still furrowed and he doesn't like it. "But Miran—"
"Shh, my love." Yoongi leans in again. A longer kiss. "Do not speak of another name that does not belong to any of your Lords, especially when you lay here, in my arms, in our bed."
Your cheeks flushes. He's too forward, his lips are too tempting but you are determined to get your point across. "It's just—"
He claims your lips again, refusing to let you go on. It is a kiss that leaves you wanting more and although you try hard not to forget what you want to say, Yoongi leaves you to remember nothing but his name alone.
The Lord of Curses is a dangerous, dangerous lord.
.
.
.
"No, no, no, come here little one, you'll get lost if you leave the river," you urge the small lost soul, showing it your palm where it naturally follows in so that you can put it back into the River of Lost Souls.
"There is a place for everything and everyone in the Underworld and yours is here," you chide at it gently. "The only reasons there are lost souls in the Throne of Judgement is because they are from the humans that have angered your Lords and let me tell you, you do not want to be there. Especially upsetting Lord Jimin. He hates it when his shadows disobeys him, imagine how he'd be if you little ones were to run out of sight and inevitably get caught."
They watch you, swaying from side to side and you narrow your eyes. "What? You think he will be upset with me instead? Because I'm in charge of protecting the lost souls in here?" You asks before laughing lightly. "You think too highly of yourselves. Lord Jimin knows I will do no such thing as to provoke him on purpose. It is love that makes the Lords of the Underworld a little less tempered on most days, something you have no idea of."
Realizing the last words you had said, though, makes you frown at them. "Poor little things, you don't know anything about love, hm? Thus the reason you lie here, committing grave sins because no one was there to teach you anything about love." Your brows only deepens. "But it does not give you the excuse to do wrong. I, for one, not only have to protect you all but I must protect the ones that you have acted wrongly against as well and that is not—"
"Why are you lecturing the lost souls as if they can understand you? They're deaf."
Your shoulders slump at Seokjin's words and you turn around, a clear pout on your face.
He stares at you for a moment, not understanding. "Speak," he orders you and you sigh.
"Deaf to love," you begin as you look back at the River of Lost Souls, hugging yourself as if you are suddenly cold. "Is it not upsetting in your eyes? Why are they not given second chances?"
"Before they were lost souls, they have been gifted plenty of chances, chances they decided upon their own terms not to take advantage of," the Lord of Pain and Misery tells you. "In the end, it is them that is at fault and must be punished for their sins."
"I guess you're right." But you are still unsure of it all, still sympathetic for them.
"Of course I'm right. Now come—"
"It's just," you shake your head, holding your Lord's hand back so that the two of you can remain where you are, "I am sure they regret their wrongdoings."
"It is too late now, my love," he says. "Anyone will regret their sins in the presence of the Lords and Queen of the Underworld, but there is no telling whether they truly feel guilty in their hearts or not."
"I know," you nod, acknowledging the fact yet still unable to forget about them.
"Come on," Seokjin tries again as he takes ahold of your smaller hand into his, tugging it to encourage you to walk back with him, "the other Lords are waiting and you know some of them can get very impatient."
You giggle knowingly, thoughts of the lost souls gradually leaving your mind as you think on your lovers. "Lord Seokjin?" You call onto the Lord of Pain and Misery as the two of you begin to turn your backs on the River of Lost Souls, on your way back to the castle.
He hums, encouraging you to speak on.
"Thank you."
His brows furrows a little in confusion at your response and the way you squeeze his hand. "May I ask why?"
"For allowing me to love you and for loving me back."
The answer you give him allows the Lord to stop walking for a moment. He remains there for a few seconds while you stare at him, confused as to why he has decided to stop when he lets go of your hand only to slide his arm around your waist.
Your breath hitches and your cheeks are quick to rose the moment he pulls you in close to his chest. "My Lord, this is not a place to—"
"Says who?" He cocks a brow which makes you even more flustered so you decide not to face him and instead lower your head. Your heart is beating so rapidly and hard you can hear it drumming against your chest. "I am a Lord of the Underworld, love, no one can tell me what I can and cannot do."
"You cannot abuse your power in this way, it is embarrassing for both me and your demons," you try to chide him but it doesn't work.
"Embarrassed?" It only provokes him more. "You are embarrassed to be seen with me?"
Him and Jungkook, both shamelessly putting you on the spot even though they know more than anyone that that is not what you mean.
Still, you know they like to tease you and you also know that you cannot leave their arms unless you do as they please otherwise you will be given the silent treatment.
"You are so unfair," you huff, eyes glaring up at him but he only finds it adorable.
"This is entirely your fault."
You scowl. "How is this my fault?"
Seokjin only holds you closer and tighter and you begin to panic a little more, head swerving at your sides to check if anyone is around but you don't get to do much because the Lord's fingers have brought your chin back for you to face him again. His face lies just inches away from yours, nose almost brushing your own while his voice drops. "Do you really think that I will let you go that easily after you said those words? Hm?" You cock your head. "For allowing me to love you and for loving me back," he quotes and your cheeks heat up even more. "How can we not fall in love with the purest heart who's devoted her whole life upon protecting us?"
He leans in. A kiss. "It is us who should be more thankful," he says. "For bravely taking on the courage to go through the trial, for being the only one holding onto our precious memories, for loving us even when we loved another, and for allowing us to love you." He smiles. "There is a lot we must apologize for as well."
"No," you are quick to shake your head. "The reincarnation period was set up in that way, you had no control over it."
"Still," his eyes cloud at the reminder of those three months. "I know I would not have been able to stay calm. I know if it was any of us, we would have shown you our jealousy, ripped whatever man who dares to touch you even if he was your supposed lover. And we would have definitely never put our lives in danger for them either."
"Fighting and protecting is all that I grew up exposed to," you remind the Lord, "Miran's still another life I had to protect especially since she was the one you loved."
There is bitterness that lies on Seokjin's face, words he doesn't like hearing out of you because it only adds more regret and anger upon himself for the way things were in the mortal realm.
"Trust me, there will be no one else besides you, no other Queen, no one else worthy enough to stand by our sides, I promise you. And if I ever break that promise again, punch me back to reality very hard, I give you permission."
You laugh aloud at him. "Jin—"
"I'm serious."
And he is. The way he stares back at you, his eyes filled with pain and regrets, the way he holds you a little closer to lean in and claim your lips. How he backs away for a short moment, only to place an even sweeter kiss that is filled with the sincerity of his love for you. As if to say he is sorry, that he hopes nothing like that will ever happen again, that you will not be placed in such a position ever again.
Because he never wants you to go back out there alone, feeling as if the whole world is against you, mortal or not, as if there is no one out there to love you.
Because it is untrue. Because he loves you more than the world itself. His Queen.
Their Queen of the Underworld.
.
.
.
"No."
"What?" Your mouth gapes at Namjoon's response which speaks for them all and you groan with disappointment. "Why not? Back when I was a mortal, your shield, I was the greatest warrior yet. Imagine how I'd be as a Goddess! Fighting without worrying about death because at the end of the day, I'll still be able to walk by your sides and—"
"No." Yet it is said again and your smile falls almost instantly.
"Look, just because I am your lover does not mean you can keep me away from fighting because guess what? Not only am I the Goddess of Protection but I am also the Goddess of War. War. I am a warrior!"
"Before you are a warrior, you are our lover," Taehyung states and it only makes you more baffled.
"So, what? I am banned from fighting now that I am your lover?"
"No," Jimin says nonchalantly. They're all nonchalant, all but you who stands upset while the sword in your hand taps impatiently. "We are only banning you from going out of the Underworld for now."
"For now until when?"
"Until we say it is okay."
You whine. "But why?"
Jungkook takes a step forward, his gaze hard and serious. "You may be the Queen of the Underworld but that will not stop other Gods from trying to have a piece of you and that is something we will never allow," he declares in a firm tone. "We cannot lose you again, Y/N."
A part of you knows where they are coming from but that part slides into the back of your mind as the only thing that's keeping you stubborn is the fact that you want to go battle again. It's been weeks since you've returned to the God's realm, three months since you've last fought another.
"You never lost me," you argue, "I was the one that lost you."
And it's true, you all know that it is true. That you were the one who walked through the trial all alone, watching from afar as her lovers went on to love another while not being able to do anything.
You've lost count of the many times your heart broke at the sight of them and Miran, of the many times you've cried and the many times you wanted to cry but had to hold it in for the sake of them. There were so many moments when you had to look away, not being able to bear with the fact that it wasn't you they were in love with, that it wasn't you whom they were kissing and holding.
They can only imagine the pain you had to go through and know they would never want to see you with another man in such ways if that were to ever happen. But it is the fact that you think they do not trust you enough when you were the one who had to hold back your anger and frustration and a broken heart for three whole months. It's what makes you a little more upset.
"Why worry about other Gods when I have the seven of you to love? It isn't as if I will not try to shake them off me if they try something. I know how it will feel like for you because I had to witness—"
You stop yourself in mid-sentence as you realize what is happening — or, what is about to happen and you don't want it happening — so you turn your back to them abruptly, letting your sword fall away, taking deep breathes to try and calm yourself. It only gets a little too real and your brows crease a bit more because now you're upset at yourself for getting upset in the first place and you find yourself crouched on the floor, holding your face with your hands.
"I don't want to do this."
They frown at your words, at how you're trying to hold yourself up but they don't know why you are this way.
"Do what?" Namjoon is a little fearful for your answer. He doesn't know what you mean and it scares him a little. Are you upset with them because they're keeping you down here in the Underworld? Because you feel like you're a prisoner?
It isn't how they want you to perceive their possessiveness as but it is what they fear you think of it as.
"I don't want to get upset, I don't like it," you say as you stand up again, hugging yourself now while still refusing to turn around. "It isn't right, not after just reuniting after just two weeks but everything still feels like a wishful dream that I'm having as a mortal, still going through the trial and hoping I can make you fall out of love so that you can love me instead." You tremble thinking about it all, the painful memories. "I don't want to get upset at you because what if I do end up waking and the only memories I have left is of our fight? Because I'm too selfish and only think about wanting to fight out there rather than trying to see that you only hate it because of the disgraceful looks I am given though I have already become your Queen and—"
You pause to wipe away the tears that are falling forcefully away from your eyes. "—and I know how that feels because I had to watch you love—"
You can't take it. You don't want to even say her name aloud and you need someone to hold you so you turn to run into Hoseok's arms and cry there.
"It's so cruel." Your voice shakes and their heart breaks.
You know it isn't right because they are also sensitive on the topic and you don't want to complain, to make it sound as if you are blaming them because you don't want them to grow regretful all over again. It isn't their fault, it isn't yours, but every thought about Miran still terrifies you about how life would have been if you had indeed failed the trial.
You wonder whether you will be sent down for a real reincarnation, a rebirth, or be sent to heaven. A part of you hopes to be reborn because then you wouldn't feel the pain of being forgotten and failing the trial. You wouldn't remember a thing just as they would have forgotten.
But you also never want to forget.
If it is anyone that should the one left to keep the memories, you would hope it is you because you don't want any of them to go through that same pain you had gone through. Three months was enough but for a lifetime? You aren't sure if you would be able to hold on if you were sent to heaven.
"Hey..love..." Hoseok leans back a little so that he can see your face that is filled with pain. His brows furrows as his arms are there to hold you, the desire to never let you go. "I'm so sorry, my love."
"It's unfair, yes," Yoongi goes to place a kiss on your head as Hoseok wipes your tears, "but allow us be selfish for a moment, please. Let us hold you a little longer, keep you to ourselves until we feel ready to show you off into the world again."
"Because right now, we aren't ready to let you go just yet, even if you will return to us."
"Because we're also afraid," Taehyung nods after Seokjin. "What if this is only a dream? What if everything we've ever hoped for was just a wishful thinking?"
"What if when we wake up the next day and you're gone and there are no traces of you left in the Underworld?" Jungkook holds you from behind.
"We'll feel empty but have no idea of the reason behind it."
You choke on your tears at Jimin's last imaginary words and Namjoon takes your hand. "So please, my love, please let us be selfish."
When they put it like that, there is no way you can ever refuse them. Because you understand their fears and can never allow them to be upset. Because as much as you have them wrapped around your little fingers, they have you wrapped around theirs as well.
You will do anything to remain by their sides, loving them until the end of time.
.
.
.
When Taehyung wakes up the next day and finds you gone while everyone else is still in the room, he begins to panic almost instantly.
"Y/N?" He calls aloud. You aren't usually the one to wake up sooner than most of them, you're one of the ones that likes to sleep in a little later. And not just that but you've all made a vow the night before that you'd sleep in the next morning and wouldn't leave the bedroom unless absolutely necessary.
"Y/N, my love?" He sits up, leaving the warm arms of Namjoon abruptly which begins to alarm the others.
Maybe, maybe he's just overreacting. Maybe you're just somewhere around the castle, wandering around like you usually do when you're bored. After all, he can still remember every piece of you, every part of your skin, he can still remember the delicate kisses he placed upon your skin the night before.
You haven't been forgotten.
"What's wrong?" Jimin asks, his voice still clear with sleep.
"I-I don't know, something just doesn't feel right," Taehyung stutters as he grabs his robe and rushes out the doors before anyone can say anything else.
The rest of them are a little slower as they get ready, a little annoyed their supposed peaceful morning was interrupted but if Taehyung feels something is wrong, then perhaps something is wrong.
And the news comes to them a few minutes later when Taehyung comes back to slam the doors open, his hair a mess from having run his hands through it out of frustration.
"Y/N isn't in the castle, she..-" He curses, panicking even more. "What if-"
"Calm down, she's probably just outside in the garden," Hoseok suggests.
"Or at the River of Lost Souls."
"Either way, she can't be anywhere far," Namjoon says after Seokjin. "She'd tell us if she was requested for a meeting."
"My shadows will find her," Jimin tells him as he releases about ten of them to go searching for you. "Don't worry just yet, Tae. Y/N knows when to call us if she is ever in danger."
"But what if..." There are tears in his eyes as he imagines the worst. "What if she wanted to leave, Jimin? What if she's tired and, and our love wasn't enough and she-"
"Please don't say that," Jungkook pleads as his own eyes becomes glossy. "Please, not when we've just got her back and she's ours again. Y/N can't-"
"Y/N won't," Yoongi declares in a firm tone but deep inside, he is also so, so afraid of that. You wouldn't just leave without saying anything, that isn't how you are. You are so much more than walking away without a goodbye, you aren't heartless, not right after a night filled with love, a night they had hoped would convey their hearts they've given unto you.
"But what if-"
"Stop." Namjoon sighs as he stands up tall, grabbing his own robe to begin heading out. "Let's just, let's just find her, alright? Before coming into any conclusions."
But Jimin's shadows can't find you anywhere and neither can they. They've searched everywhere, the places you often visited the most, the places you loved, the places you didn't like to go to. Even Cerberus hadn't seen you around.
"She could be in the Throne of Judgement, my Lords," a demon suggests to them. "It is the only room the shadows are not allowed in."
Right.
Right, of course.
Though there is a low chance you will be there when there is absolutely no need for you to be there, not without them at least, the seven Lords all rush down to the underground basement of the castle.
When the two doors are forced open without any warnings and you are sat just a few yards away from the thrones, back facing them as you look like you are in a daze, Taehyung's legs almost gives in as he realizes no, you haven't left them and that you are still here, as the Queen of the Underworld.
"Y/N-"
"Y/N you can't just-"
"Whoa-!"
Your breath hitches the moment there are bodies slamming against you and you go flying backward though the Lord of Punishments is careful as he lays his hand on your head, aware that your head would have hit the floor with a harsh thud if it wasn't for his protective hand.
"God, I was so scared."
"Tae—"
"Please tell me you still love me. That you still love us."
You blink in confusion at the sight of Taehyung who hovers above you, refusing to let you sit up and go anywhere while the rest of them remains at all sides. They all look so worried and you have no idea why. "What's gotten into y—"
"Please!"
There is a sad glint in Taehyung's eyes and the second you catch sight of the tears filling his eyes to the brim, your heart falls. "Oh, Taehyung," you breathe as you reach up to hold his face in your hand. "I love you so much, I will never stop loving you, any of you," you say as you go to wipe his tears away when they fall the moment he closes his eyes.
"Good." His sigh is shaky while he leans down, forehead touching yours. "Good because I made your mother a promise that I'd take care of this precious heart of yours and—"
"Wait what?" Jungkook pushes Taehyung away as they all look at him like it is the first time they've heard of that. "When'd you promise her mother?"
"You spoke to Y/N's mother?" Yoongi asks.
"When Y/N was made a Goddess?" Namjoon adds.
"Um, no." The tears have dried out at this point and you sit up, staring at Taehyung with the same perplex thoughts because he's never told any of you this. "I spoke to her the day I first met her, when me and Y/N went to visit her and her sister back when she was still a shield."
"You made her a promise even before she became our lover? You—"
"Whoa wait," your face turns into a bright amused grin as you cut Hoseok off, "when was this? I thought I was with mother the whole time I was there."
"Not when I made you and your sister peel potatoes together."
"You made Y/N peel potatoes?"
"It was an excuse to make them talk," Taehyung rolls his eyes at Jimin.
"Still, how could you?" His lover stresses with a pout resting upon his face. "You made her mother a promise even before you loved her? That's Y/N's mother."
"Hey, I loved her then," Taehyung claims defensively. "And besides, I wasn't the one who started that conversation. Her mother was the one who asked me to take good care of her heart."
"That's it, we're going to meet your mother." On his way to try and force you up, you drag the God of the Underworld back down.
"Hey, you're the ones who banished me from leaving the Underworld," you remind Namjoon and they let out a grunt because yes, they don't want you leaving just yet, but what about your mother? They still haven't formerly introduced themselves to her. The day you were made an immortal was a busy day that kept them from meeting her.
You see their frustration and you find it cute, the way their lips pout while Taehyung grins from ear to ear because he's the only one that's met your mother. "Aw, don't look too upset," you giggle at the sight. "If I love you, mother will surely love you the same."
"We made you our Queen of the Underworld without formally introducing ourselves," Seokjin states flatly.
"You could have been forgotten if it wasn't for us."
"Whoa."
Suddenly it's as if their hearts stopped beating at just the clear reminder and they begin to panic again.
"Y/N you could have been lost forever!"
"No one would remember you-"
"And she would have only one daughter left, feeling an empty void without knowing the reason why-!"
"And—"
"Stop." Still, you laugh because you aren't at all worried about the fact that your mother wouldn't like them. "That trial just proved our love is strong so you have nothing to worry about, I promise you."
"Still," Jungkook mumbles through his pout so you lean up to give him a kiss.
"We can always go visit her when you feel you've had enough of me."
He narrows his gaze. "We'll never have enough of you." The fluttering kisses he places upon you leaves you a giggling mess.
"I-I'm serious though," you laugh, "you don't have to feel rushed. Mother understands Gods are very busy people."
Though they look as if still reluctant, your Lords decide to finally drop the subject, knowing complaining will do nothing when they still have no desire to have you leave the Underworld just yet.
"So why did you come here in the first place? You scared the hell out of us."
"You do not ever have to worry about me leaving you," you reassure the Lord of Pain and Misery. "I was just missing a certain someone, that's all."
"Your father?"
You nod at Yoongi's guess. "I feel a little closer to him by being here, you know? Sorry I created a mess."
"Just, tell us next time, alright?" Namjoon says and you nod before he places a gentle kiss on your temple. "Now come," he stands and holds a hand out for you, "we promised each other a peaceful morning so you have to make it up to us."
You giggle. "Okay."
.
.
.
"Lord Jimin, I have a—"
It isn't just in the way Jimin's eyes suddenly widen as he looks past you but you see it too, from the reflection of the pretty crystals that decorates the beautiful garden, and you're quick to reach for your sword. Yet Jimin is on his heels, quicker than you as he rushes to your side, snaking his arm around your waist before you can grab your sword and he turns the both of you around his free hand pointing right at the dark shadow that immediately disperses and dies the second his own power of shadows hits it.
You're a little taken back while in the arms of the Lord of Shadows not because that event frightened you, but because you're surprised Jimin had put yourself before him to dispose of the shadow rather than letting you handle it.
"Jimin—"
"Are you okay?"
He's quick to turn his head back your way, inspecting you with worry. "I'm okay but—"
"Why the hell is a shadow trying to hurt you?" Jimin leaves your side to get a closer look at the little dust particles remaining from the dark shadow, crouching to a knee with furrowed brows.
But right now you aren't really concerned for its reasons.
"Jimin, you can't just shield me away from an attack, I'm the one who has to protect you."
He looks up at you, a look of perplex. "It was trying to hurt you."
"I can handle myself fine."
"I know you can but," he sighs, standing back up to walk up in front of you. "Do you know what's worse than forgetting that we were once lovers?" You tilt your head in confusion and he goes on. "Watching you hurt yourself for our sake, for someone who did not deserve your sacrifices and knowing that you're still willing to risk your own life for another. Do you not value your life, my love?"
"I do."
"Then why must you always put others before you?" Jimin asks a little hurt.
"I..."
"I told you, didn't I?" He says as he holds you close and the proximity makes you a little flustered. "I made you a promise, before we were lovers, while we were lovers, and while I had no idea of it. I made you a promise that I will protect you and I never intend to break it, whether big or small."
"Jimin..."
"I will let you do the protecting for others but when it comes to yourself, let me be your shield."
"I don't—"
He kisses you abruptly. "I will be your shield."
"Jim—"
Another kiss. "Alright?"
You know a Lord like him will never back down especially when it comes to making promises to his lovers. They take all their promises to you so seriously but sometimes you just wish—
He gives you another kiss with desperation in his eyes and there, you stare back into his gaze of love and the fluttering butterflies return. They are always there, whenever your Lords are around, whenever they lean in close and claim your lips. He's so serious you have no desire to say no to him so all you do is nod, knowing you cannot ever escape those precious eyes of his. It's too intimidating, too intense.
When he grins, it is worse.
Because he is beautiful and you realize all over again how lucky you are to receive the love from these seven Lords of the Underworld.
You still have no idea why it is you they have chosen to make their Queen of the Underworld.
Jimin wants to lean in again to claim your lips once more but you push him back, head trying to make clear of the current situation instead of getting carried away. "T-the shadow, Jimin," you remind him and his eyes turn from those bright pillars to the depth of the Underworld.
"Right." His voice is grave and you gulp as the Lord turns around again to inspect the particles. "No shadow around here is allowed to do anything unless under my command and everyone knows I will never let any of them harm my Queen." Jimin flicks his wrist in the air before balling his hand into a fist and holding it against his lips. He says a few inaudible words before releasing his fingers and the shadows go flying in different directions.
You shiver at the sight, a frown resting against your brows and the Lord of Shadows turns around to you again, taking your hand into his hold.
"We'll get to the bottom of this," he vows as he leads you towards the castle. "No one can get away with trying to harm you."
By the time the shadows have given words to the rest of the Lords who were outside of the castle grounds, busy with their own works, the six of them were quick to return frantically. The doors are slammed open and you're immediately being surrounded by them all as they worry the shadow must have gotten to you.
"I'm fine, I promise."
But they aren't just filled with worry, there is anger that burns in their eyes at the simple thought of someone trying to hurt you.
"No, you're not," the God of the Underworld claims in a clear deep voice you hadn't heard in a while, "not yet you aren't."
Though you have gotten used to the Throne of Judgement, it is the cruelest of the punishments that make you fear away from the room. Because you, more than anyone, know your Lords are anything but unjust and monsters, yet it is the fact that this room alone makes you realize all over again that the Lords of the Underworld can be ruthless and cruel to anyone that walks in their ways.
You aren't too fond of seeing this side to them, when they are in their dark lights like how everyone else perceives them, because you'd much rather have your sweet Lords who will stop at nothing to show their love for you.
But if things like this happen, you know anger is a strong emotion that will not back down in the face of an opponent who wishes to challenge their powers. Or in this case, yours.
So you know you cannot stop them.
"How dare you try to harm your Queen when I have given you the privilege to reside here in my kingdom, my land, under my rules?"
He doesn't sit still, the God of the Underworld, with a tone so grave and loud it echoes into the large room that no one ever wishes to return to once they have passed the trial of the Throne of Judgement.
"M-my King, please have mercy on m—"
The mortal stutters out but Namjoon only replies with a bellowed laugh that sends shivers down your spine. You know he is anything but entertained and even though the anger isn't directed your way, you are frightened.
"Mercy?" Yoongi scoffs bitterly.
"You dare ask for mercy after the grave sin you have committed?" Hoseok raises a challenging brow while Jimin chuckles.
"What a daring little mortal."
"Apologize to your Queen," Seokjin barks an order and the mortal is quick to bow your bow, stuttering words of apologies with such fear draining his weak body.
"My—my Queen! Please, please forgive me for my sins! P-please have mercy! Please! I beg of you!"
But you know more than anyone that he is already on his way to being a lost soul. Another one that will reside in this exact room, another lost soul that will have no idea what love, loss, and sacrifice means to him. He will never understand the true meaning of life, living a death until the end of existence.
Because even if you may want to give him mercy, you know your Lords will never allow it and Namjoon always makes the final rules.
Seokjin was right, though, any lost soul will fall on their knees and beg for forgiveness in the presence of the Lords and Queen of the Underworld. Maybe it is in his heart but you may never know because people like him are nothing but lost and conflicted, having no idea of the true meaning of life. No matter what decision you wish to make for the sake of his fate, it is not in the hands of yourself. There are rules that makes the Underworld what it is and having mercy to the ones who have committed grave sins is not one of them.
So you can only avoid the mortal's eyes of desperation, the silent words of telling him that he has to accept his fate.
The corner of Jungkook's mouth curls a little, satisfied with your reply. "The Queen may be willing to give you mercy but we are far from having a gentle heart towards anyone who's committed a sin."
"Taehyung."
It is the simple name alone from Namjoon that lets the Lord of Punishments know he is given the command to deal with the mortal's punishment.
He sends a smirk your way. "You may want to step out, my love."
So you do, quick on your feet because you do not wish to hear the cry of agony and you are so, so thankful they decide to do it after the doors are closed, keeping the screams locked in the Throne of Judgement without you being able to hear anything.
The set of hands that are responsible for deaths of so many mortals are the same ones that returns to cradle your face with such a gentle hold you almost forget they had just finished sending that mortal to becoming a lost soul.
But perhaps it is the contrast between the two that makes you feel more special and loved.
"No one will ever dare to hurt you again." There is still a hint of rage and fury behind Namjoon's gentle tone but you nod either way, nuzzling up against the crook of his neck as they hold you tight.
"I love you," you say, professing your thanks to them and they whisper it back the moment after.
.
.
.
"I hear Dionysus is having a party tonight and that we are invited."
Jungkook rolls his eyes as he swings his sword in the air before letting it smash against yours. "Dionysus has a party every week, it shouldn't surprise you. And besides," you advance for his abdomen but he's quick to forge your sword back away, "it has only been three days since we've banished you from leaving this world. You aren't leaving anytime soon."
"Okay fine, I wasn't even interested in the party—oof," his leg comes swinging your way and you're quick to sway your body back to avoid it, "-anyways."
"Then what is it?"
"I want to see the world," you say, twirling around and forgetting about the swordfight for a moment, forcing Jungkook to withdraw his sword. "I want to ride a chariot, a pegasus, touch the clouds with my bare hands," you glide up against his back, hugging him there where it makes him vulnerable to you, "with you guys."
Jungkook remembers those little moments he had with you, up on the rooftop of the skyscraper, looking down at the world as if you both owned the world. He remembers you against his back, propping your chin against his shoulder and speaking of your dreams and wishes, hoping that one day, if you were to ever become a Goddess, you can do those things you wish to do.
But he sighs as he holds your hand to release it from him. "As tempting as that sounds-"
"I know," you nod, letting him go but Jungkook still holds your hands as he turns around, not wanting you to leave and grow upset.
"We can see it the second we feel alright to let you venture out again," he promises with a squeeze, hoping you aren't too upset.
But of course, you have a smile on your face, one that hides your disappointment. "I know."
Jungkook sighs again, not ready to let you go just yet because you're still a little upset so he wraps his arms around you. "I love you," he says and you laugh.
"I know," you tell him again and he holds you tighter.
"Don't be too upset."
"I'm not."
"You can never hide your emotions well in front of your Lords, Y/N."
"Well, it isn't as if we can do much about it."
"I promise we'll make it up to you."
You nod as you lean up to press a kiss against his jawline. "I know," you smile at him, "you always make it better. I think seeing the world is incredible but if I had to choose between that and staying here with you forever, I will always choose the path to remain by your sides."
"You sure you won't grow tired of us?"
You laugh. "I went through the reincarnation trial not for nothing, my Lord," you remind him again and again. "I do not believe our love will ever falter ever again."
"It sure won't."
The two of you turn around at the new voice and Hoseok stands walking your way with a smile on his face.
"My Lord," you beam.
"My loves," he greets with two sweet kisses for both you and Jungkook. "Come now, supper awaits."
.
.
.
You have a sweet dream that makes you yearn for more, that makes you wish you can still live in that dream because it is a dream you know you can never live in.
So when you wake up, there are a few tears that escape your eyes and you wipe them away, feeling a little empty. Hoseok sits just a few inches away, on the edge of the bed as he puts his shoes on, ready to start the morning off while everyone else were already gone.
It's just you and him.
He is about to stand to grab his royal robe when you grab his waist from behind, holding him back from moving any further away from you.
There is a light chuckle that escapes his lips. "Good morning, beautiful," he muses, turning his head to the side to greet your lips when your head props up against his shoulder. You hold him a little tighter and it is enough for him to sense something wrong. "What it is?" He asks, frowning slightly.
"Do you know where Jimin is?" You ask him. "I have been meaning to ask him something but the opportunities are always stolen away."
"He mentioned visiting the River Styx, on the east side," Hoseok replies. "Are you alright?"
"Mmn," you nod with a small smile to assure that you were okay, giving him a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you later."
You get up from the bed, grabbing your white robe without caring to change out of your nightgown and Hoseok quickly grab your hand to pull you back to him, allowing you to stumble right into his lap.
"What are you doing, hm?"
"W-what?" You don't understand yourself. How are you still so flustered by their actions no matter how many times you've made love? How is it that they can still get your heart beating so fast? But you guess it isn't all a bad thing. After all, it just proves you fall more and more in love with them each passing day and you love the feeling of love.
The corner of the Lord of Death's lips curls into a smirk at the sight of your flushed cheeks, eyes avoiding his. He loves it.
"You cannot be serious, hm, Y/N?" He wonders with little light taps on your bottom. "Going out in your night dress? Do you really wish to provoke us? Make us upset?"
"What? No!" You quickly say in defense. "I just..really need to get to Lord Jimin."
"Our Lord Jimin can wait just a little longer before you bless him with your presence."
"But-"
"I am not allowing you to leave this room until you are properly dressed," he says in a commanding voice and you pout because you know he is right. But still, the question that lays on the tip of your tongue, meant for Jimin, does not want to wait any longer. Yet when you want to continue protesting, Hoseok only gives you that firm, serious gaze. "I will dress you myself if I have to, love, do not provoke me."
You know Hoseok never fools around when it comes to what he thinks is best for you so you quickly hop off his lap to walk over to your closet. The moment you finally pick out your clothes, you find Hoseok still on the bed, having not moved an inch from where you left him.
His brow raises when you meet his gaze and it is that piercing stare that always makes you feel small.
"Um, look away, my Lord," you squeak.
Hoseok scoffs lightly. "Love, I have seen your naked self plenty of times."
He's so straightforward and it makes you more red. "Look, you may be used to these things because it has been years since you've first loved the other Lords but it has only been, what? A month? Since I have joined this love fest so stop teasing me and just turn around!"
He bursts out laughing at how cute you are but complies to your wishes and turns himself around to let you do your business. "You will get there, my love," he says.
Curse you Hoseok and your charming ways!
By the time you finally get to leave your chambers (after your Lord continuously holding you back with forceful kisses that left you a hot mess), you are lucky Jimin is still where Hoseok told you he would be.
"Jimin!"
He turns at the call of your voice, a little surprised but welcomes you in his arms. "Do you need something, my Queen?" He asks because you aren't one to usually seek for them when the days are long and they each have their roles to play in the Underworld.
You don't respond right away, holding him close as you snuggle up against him. He's a bit taken back by your actions because you like to keep your loving displays behind closed doors. Still, he holds you, not wanting to let go.
You are reminded once again of that dream you had, the one you still so desperately hope to visit again even if it was just for one more night.
It was so sweet, so lovely, but lasted for such a short amount of time and it pains you just thinking about it.
"I miss Kai," you tell him with a sniffle because that little boy was an angel you had hoped would never leave your life. The first man to see you for you, the first man to love and cherish you.
"Kai?"
You nod.
You can still hear it. "Noona," he'd call you in a sweet voice, that cute boyish smile plastered upon his face every time it lights up at the sight of you, his hero, the one he admires the most. But you know that even if you were to see him again, watching him from where you are as he lives his mortal life, he will not know who you are. He will forget, unlike the promise he made to you.
But still, you think to yourself that seeing him just the way he is, living his life, you will be satisfied with that alone.
"He was such a sweet little boy, I've always wanted a relationship like I had with Kai because me and my sister weren't ever that close. And I was just wondering," you lean away a little, looking up at your Lord, "is there...is there any way I can see him without waiting years until death inevitably falls upon him?"
"You wish to see Kai?" Jimin's heart melts at the sight of the tears glistening against your waterline at just the mention of the little boy's name and he places a sweet kiss upon your temple. "You should have mentioned it sooner, love."
There is hope that ignites even more and you gasp. "I can see him?"
"Whatever the Queen wants and wishes for, nothing is impossible." He takes your hand into his, dismissing his duties for the moment as he leads you elsewhere.
Your heart beats hard against your chest with anticipation as you follow Jimin who takes you down the River Styx, the road that leads towards the entrance of the Underworld and your head tilts in confusion.
They have been so insistent on keeping you in, not allowing you to leave any time soon because they are still a bit afraid, wanting you by their sides almost all the time with the fear of losing you. "Jimin?" You call at a loss and you grow even more puzzled when he walks you into the entrance of Cerberus' home.
The three-headed guard dog wakes the moment they sniff the air and smells both your scents, two of which they are quite familiar with.
You have visited Cerberus plenty of times after returning to the Underworld and they've shown you around their home, something that is not too big and fascinating to see. So even as they run up to you and you greet them with a sweet smile, petting the three heads that showers you with love, you turn back to Jimin a moment later, brows a little creased.
"Why are we here?" You ask, still not understanding. When you told him you wished to see Kai, you were imagining some sort of pool or a crystal globe that would show you the lives of the mortals on Earth. But nope, here you are, in the home of Cerberus.
Jimin walks up slowly to his guard dogs who greets him with the same excitement. He goes to sit on the bed of Cerberus with them following behind, resting their heads on his thigh as they sit beside him. Jimin looks up at you with a lopsided smile.
"Call upon his name, my love, and he shall show himself to you."
The confusion is still set in place but Jimin is a great, wise Lord who holds a power so magnificent. Perhaps it's his shadows that will appear? An illusion of Kai in act of his real self because you know the mortal Kai will never remember who you are.
So you set your gaze on Jimin, calling upon the little boy's name. "Kai?" It's soft, a small whisper that grows a little louder as you call a second time, eyes looking around for any sign. "Kai, where are you?" There is no response and your body turns about, wondering where he will show up. Tears well up against your waterline again as you call for him a third time. "Kai, please. It's noona, your mask noona whom you love so much."
"I'm right here, noona."
You gasp at the voice and quickly turn back around towards the spot where Jimin and Cerberus are. But the moment you turn, Jimin sits alone on the bed and there, Kai, the little boy whom you have grown so fond of, replaces the spot where Cerberus was supposed to be, standing a few feet away and smiling sweetly.
"Kai," you breathe so softly, like a whisper of the wind, and he runs to you with arms so wide, colliding his little body with yours into your open arms.
You hold him there so securely with no desire to let go because he has been there all along, by your side, and you had no idea you had been talking to Kai all along without realizing it was him.
Cerberus.
Kai is Cerberus.
The three-headed dog that guards the entrance to the Underworld. The first immortal whom you made friends with, the first immortal to love you even before you fell in love with your seven Lords. He had been there all along, watching over you through the world of the mortal realm, knowing every truth you had to desperately hide during the time of the Reincarnation trial.
He was there, helping you, being the friend you needed a shoulder to lean on when nothing was going right and you felt hopeless, thinking that perhaps you were going to fail and be left forgotten forever.
But animals do not ever forget.
They never forget the ones they love and cherish the most.
He wasn't ever affected from the moment the world of the Underworld was set to a pause because of the trial period. He was free to roam around, falling into the world of the mortals, and decided to remain by your side in the case of you ever failing so that he can still spend time with you until your last moment.
Because Cerberus vowed to himself that even though everyone else will forget about you and the story may lead to the road of the unhappy ending, he will be there to try and remind your precious seven Lords of their loves for you.
A silent promise that tells you that even if you would have failed that trial, not everyone would have completely forgotten you and there would still be hope for your love to continue.
If even a little.
You meet the eyes of Jimin's through your tears and he gifts you a sweet smile.
"You should have told me," you chide softly at the little boy that still holds onto you tightly, tears falling against you because you have finally realized that it had been him all along.
"I couldn't, noona," he laments. "I wasn't supposed to go down there and help you, no one could know so I had to pretend that I didn't know either."
"You..." He leans back to brush away your tears with his small fingers. "You are a devious little actor." Kai laughs and you mirror the amusement. "Still though, do you know how heartbroken I was to think you will never remember me once I returned to this world?"
"I promised you, did I not?" he gifts you a boyish grin, "That I would never forget you no matter what."
"I did not know that applied to this life either," you huff.
"I did a good job, though, didn't I?"
You smile at him, picking him up to let him rest on your lap. "Mmn. If it wasn't for you, I would have never passed."
Kai shakes his head immediately. "That's not true." He's so cute, him and his little pout. "Noona, I was just a supporting character who was there for you to be a friend. You passed all on your own, making the Lords fall in love with you all over again."
You meet Jimin's gaze at that and he shares the soft smile. "Maybe so, but I would have been a wreck if it was not for your presence. Things may have turned a different route if it had not been for your continuous support and believing that I was capable of anything."
"Because you are!" He reminds you again. "You're strong and mighty, brave and couragous, no one can ever live up to your name. You set the standards high, hence the Lords of the Underworld will never be able to fall out of love with you if they ever tried."
"He's right." Jimin stands from where he sat to walk over to the two of you, settling himself in front of where Kai sits in between you and him. "You are easy to fall in love with, Y/N. Anytime you were around, I could feel my heart swaying away from Miran who supposedly held my heart at the time. It isn't hard to grow fond of you, to have my heart falter away from Miran because she are so different from you. You are beautiful, kind and strong, loving and sweet. That is what fears us from letting other Gods see you because we know it is easy for anyone to fall in love with you."
"You aren't ever going to let me go, hm?"
"Never."
You laugh a little, sharing a small smirk with Kai before looking back at him. "I guess my possessive Lords isn't all that bad, especially being for the reason that they love me just as much as I do."
"Maybe a little more."
"That's a lie."
"Ew, stop with the sappiness!"
Only a servant like Kai would be allowed to say such a thing to the Lords and Queen of the Underworld.
.
.
.
"Joon!"
The God of the Underworld laughs as you lung towards him and he's quick to pick you up, spinning you around while you giggle. "Someone is bright today," he comments as he sets you down.
"I met Kai again!" You exclaim. "Well, I guess that statement isn't correct because I've been talking to him but haven't realized because Lord Jimin decided not to tell me anything. Oh! And the Underworld flowers have bloomed today, you have to see how pretty they—"
"I'm a little busy at the moment, little one," he says as he pulls you back from trying to drag him away. You pout a little and he chuckles. "You know I will entertain you if I could but right now is not a good time."
"You're always so busy," you sigh. "Then can I follow you around today? I will not bother you, I promise I will keep silent for you."
Namjoon knows you aren't one who likes to keep silent but he guesses with you around, you will make things a little easier to go about his days doing his duties. "Alright," he decides and you cheer happily.
You've followed Namjoon around before, back when you were a shield. He does his own things while you trail along, wandering about and talking to yourself to not stay bored and be entertained. It is enough just staying beside your God because he is the busiest of you all, not getting much time off unless it is time to eat or sleep so you find yourself missing him a lot.
It is when Hermes, the messenger God comes to report to Namjoon the daily messages from the world outside of the Underworld, does your attention perk up.
"Zeus orders for the God's presence at Olympics in three days for the traditional ceremony as a new shield has been chosen."
You gasp. "Whose?"
"Poseidon and Ares, Lady Y/N."
"What?" You blink. "But they already have shields."
"Ares's shield is being replace and Poseidon's previous shield has been lost at a battle during the time you spent your lives in the mortal realm, my lady." He tells you and bows with respect before leaving because he is a busy God who cannot take the time to chat as much as he wants.
"Whoa." You remember the shield, the same one that sent his blade right into your skin on the day you quarreled with your sister. It was not a good day but you have to say that Poseidon's shield was a great opponent to fight with. "He was a warlock, was he not?"
"Even warlocks can lose a life, dear one," Namjoon says as he begins to walk away towards his next destination and you follow.
"Oh but Hermes mentioned Ares too. I thought shields could only be replaced if death takes toll on them."
"Ares is quite picky with his shield."
You make a face at that. "He once asked me to be his shield."
Namjoon freezes for a moment before continuing on the path but he walks closer to you, taking your hand in his hold. "I assume you told him no."
"Of course, my Lord," you grin assuringly and he nods, satisfied. "But his shield wasn't a bad fighter."
"Maybe not but anyone can lose a shield if they wish. Either for the reason of them not being worthy enough or," he turns to look at you, a small smirk displaying on his face, "she is made his Queen."
You giggle at his subtle flirting ways. "So...we are heading to this ceremony, yes?" The playful smirk leaves his face as it's replaced with a frown. "Zeus may be your brother but he is still the high God who rules over us all."
"Yes, I..-" He grunts with frustration. "Those damn Water and War Gods. Why choose now to decide on a shield?"
The others do not respond well to the message they get once supper arrives and everyone is in the same room. But who can blame them? It hasn't been that long since you've all reunited in the Underworld and Zeus was already calling for some type of celebration that requires the meeting of all the Gods and Goddesses of Olympics.
"We don't have to stay long," you try to compromise in order to ease their nerves.
"Coming from you, that is a surprise, love," Seokjin comments.
"You say this now but we all know you will want to get yourself into the battles," Yoongi grunts.
"As much as I love to fight, I love you more and if making you feel better means keeping away from my sword, then I am fine with it."
"Not just the sword, Y/N." Namjoon narrows his gaze with a pointed look your way. "You are to remain by our sides at all times and do not speak to any Lord that wishes to start a conversation."
"But won't that be rude-"
"And you are wearing the mask."
"Oh come on!" You groan at Jimin's command. "Have a little faith in me, will you?"
"We trust you, we do not trust them."
"Same difference." You roll your eyes but it is what gets you in trouble.
Hoseok grabs your face in one swift motion with just one hand, pinching your cheeks to squish them together, not enough to hurt you but enough to have you pouting. "Did you just roll your eyes at your Lord?"
"I'm sorry," you sulk but he doesn't relent.
"Hm, doesn't seem like it."
"But I am," you say through the squished cheeks. "I will wear the mask if it makes you happy but I can't really promise you that I will not speak with the Gods and Goddesses. It will make me look like I am disrespectful when I don't mean it and they will think I was never worthy to become a Goddess or your Queen."
"Who cares what they think?"
"Words can hurt, you know."
Jungkook scoffs. "You have fought in so many battles yet a little thing like other's opinions brings you down?"
"I want to be the one for you guys, okay? I want to be respected too."
They know where you are coming and Hoseok sighs as he finally releases you. The warmth from his hand leaves you but you are still pouting. "You are already respected, Y/N," he says with a playful ruffle on your head to make things lighter. "Both when you were a shield, and now as a Goddess."
"You do not have to prove to anyone about anything," Seokjin adds in.
"And I guess leaving the Underworld is not all a bad idea."
"Yeah," Jungkook chuckles after Jimin. "It gives us an excuse to visit your mother and sister."
"And make that vow that Taehyung had done without us."
You laugh a little when Yoongi sends the Lord of Punishments a small glare while he responds by playfully sticking his tongue out.
.
.
.
All of Olympics is so much more beautiful when watching from the high grounds and you cannot stop yourself from leaning over to feel the clouds against your fingers. It feels like nothing, just a wisp of air, yet it is still so fascinating to see.
The meadows lay beautifully, a vast patch of a garden of flowers that extends to a large amount of earth. You lean closer when you see a gorgeous golden eagle but Jungkook puts his arm around the front of your waist to pull you back in before you can fall forward.
"Careful, little one. You are not a bird," he chides but you are too excited to listen to him.
"I am an immortal, I cannot die so stop worrying so much," you tell him otherwise, eyes never meeting his as it's attention only stays on the beauty outside of the chariot.
For some reason that makes them upset and Jungkook pouts. "Why are you giving so much attention to nature? It isn't that fascinating."
"That's because you've seen it a thousand times and counting. I have never."
"There are other more beautiful things to see, you know, like the seven of us."
You laugh at Seokjin's sulky words but wave his jealousy away. "I give you my love and attention all the time, just let me have this moment."
They aren't satisfied but perhaps it's safe to say they aren't completely upset. Because your glowing smile that watches from the chariot makes their hearts grin and maybe that is enough for now.
Before arriving to Mount Olympics.
Watching the duels is not as fun as being a part of it so you inspect the crowd around you instead while sitting in between Namjoon and Yoongi.
Your thoughts wonders about as your eyes goes from one God to another. They all sit tall and proud with a shield each by their sides if one was not battling it out in the arena. The place may be packed with such a loud crowd but you can still hear every thought that walks into your head.
You welcome them, being as they were more interesting than the duels. It distracts you even while you are in a booth with seven Lords who has their eyes trained on the battlefield.
How would Olympics change if you were forgotten forever? Would it be all the same as it was from before they all knew who you were? Before you made a name for yourself and everyone saw you as the strong and mighty shield of the seven Lords of the Underworld?
How would Cerberus — Kai — go about his days trying to remind the Lords of who you were? Would these ones also be affected? Would the small little creatures you had met along the way of walking alongside your Lord's chariot remember you as well?
Maybe not because you were not as important to them.
But maybe too because animals never forget.
And it stumps you because of how different life would have turned out if you really did fail to make your Lords love you again.
And then you wonder...life has always been different, choosing a path between two...three times.
You look up again, watching the Gods of Olympics and your heart falls.
"You were quite happy before the duels. Is something wrong, love?" Namjoon asks with concern as you all step into the chariot once again for a new destination.
You're still silent as it begins to ride off, watching Mount Olympics gradually fade away into the background. "The three mortals that lost their loves...I wonder which Gods it was."
It is heartbreaking thinking about it and your heart saddens for the three Gods whose memories of their previous mortal lovers were taken away. You were lucky to have Kai by your side, the one who came onto Earth to give you hope, encouraging you that you were capable of succeeding and that even if you were to fail the trial, he would still be doing his job to guarantee the memories of you will not be lost forever.
You had a companion by your side, did the three mortals had anyone? Were they alone in the journey and lost hope? And not only lost hope but lost themselves along the way as well.
You know you did not succeed the trial all by yourself. If it had not been for Kai giving you hope and helping you feel loved, letting you vent to him when you needed, being the first mortal to love you, you were sure you would not have succeeded.
After all, you almost failed the trial, only to find out later on when you returned to the Underworld that your Lord's hearts had been swaying due to you never losing who you were as Y/N.
You would not have done it if it wasn't for the support.
Namjoon lays a hand upon your shoulder to let you lean against him. "Sometimes a sad ending for a certain relationship is what everyone needs. It just proves that it wasn't really meant to be, that there is another lover waiting for them, a better one, someone that will make them even happier and in love. Their efforts may look like it had gone to waste but us as people tend to think the relationships we are in are our last hope, our saving grace, the one we will spend the rest of our lives with. But it does not always comes out like that in the end. There will be heartbreak, one much more broken than the other, but both will realize one day that letting go is the better option."
"We take a risk for the ones we love, even if it is not the one we end up with in the end. But it is the lessons through life that makes us understand that sometimes things are not meant to be," Jimin says.
Yoongi nods. "The Fates knows what they are doing, nothing is ever a mistake. Everyone's destiny lies in their hands and they know the hopes and future that lies ahead. There isn't anything to worry about, my love."
"Mmn," Taehyung hums, "because just as you have said it, the success of our trial only proves that our love was meant to be. It's written in the stars."
You smile at their words. Somehow they always have the right words to tell you whenever you need it and it always makes you feel better about things. Because they are right. Failing would mean that there is a brighter future, that their love story is meant to be with another, so you have nothing to feel sad for.
It's okay. The stories have already been written in the stars.
When they meet your mother, they are a bit nervous but you only laugh because you know there is nothing to worry about. And just as you have reminded them plenty of times, your mother loves them as a mother would towards the men who have stolen the heart of her daughter.
When you go to catch up with your sister, they remain by your mother's side and talk to her in private, words you never get to hear even as you beg afterward as the eight of you return home with them grinning from ear to ear. You know that whatever they were talking about, it had to be about you because they are never discreet with stealing glances your way and that is what frustrates you a little more.
.
.
.
"Whoa! Hey! You can't do that!" You jump back at the sight of the three younger Lords sitting on the bed the moment you walk out of the bathroom in just a simple white towel wrapped around your body, thinking you were clear and that no one was in the room.
Jungkook laughs at your surprise. "We are your Lords, you cannot tell us what we can and cannot do."
"Guys," you whine as you stomp your little feet and he laughs some more.
"How can one look so adorable when she is only wearing a towel that barely covers her wet skin?" Jimin asks with a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.
"Don't," you warn. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" Taehyung raises a brow as if he is oblivious but you can see right through them.
"You know what you are doing and I do not intend to play along with your games."
"Don't know what you're talking about," Jungkook says as he leans back to lay against Jimin's chest. "Unless, you wanna do something?"
You give him an unamused stare to hide the fact that you are indeed flustered. "Are you going to get out?"
"Not anytime soon," Taehyung smirks and you groan, grab your bathrobe and rush back into the bathroom. When you come out a few minutes later with the same pouting frown but with a robe instead, they laugh.
"What are you doing here back so early anyways?"
"What are you doing here back so early?" Jimin mimics.
"Obviously there wasn't anything else to do until the next day."
"Exactly. Now come here." He grabs ahold of your wrist before you can turn to your vanity and has you sitting right on his lap where you face Jungkook and Taehyung just behind you.
"H-hey—"
But the Lord of Shadows grabs the white towel you had held onto. "Relax," he muses, "let us pamper you, love. You've worked so hard." He hands the towel to Taehyung who almost instantly begins to run the towel against your wet hair.
"Um...doing, doing what?" You stutter. Curse them for making you feel this way.
"Holding onto our memories while ours were forgotten," Jungkook says.
"Loving us despite us loving another," Taehyung says.
"Staying true to yourself and making us fall in love with you," Jimin takes your chin with his forefinger to have you face him, "twice," he adds and you know at that point you are a blushing mess.
"Y-you do not—"
"You have shed so many tears for us, love." His fingers traces your face and you shiver. Why is it that their words are so sweet and soft yet they are anything but that upon the expressions on their faces? You want to ignore it but they've planted a fire inside you which burns hard.
"J-Jimin." The sigh you release is shaky.
"Your ears are red, darling," Taehyung notices with a smirk. "Why is that, hm? We are only trying to thank you. Why are you blushing?"
They know more than anyone that they aren't just thanking you. So you swipe Jimin's hand away from your face and look away but that only cues Jungkook into taking your wrist. His hold is firmer. Gentle, but firm. "You are being unfair," you mumble through a pout and he chuckles.
"Unfair?"
"Three against one? Why must you do this to me?"
"You act as if you don't like this," Taehyung says. He's not trying to dry your hair anymore, only allowing it to tangle around his fingers and letting it go.
"I-it's just..-" you squeeze your eyes shut, "..-sometimes one can be overwhelming but three?"
"You've done it with seven, love, plenty of times."
It.
You feel hot. So hot. And for some reason it feels a little caging, as if you are caught, tied, and the burning sensation only makes it worse.
They notice your hesitation and Jungkook lets your hand go. "Are you alright?" He asks with a sincere concern and that is what brings you back from the moment of daze.
Because when you open your eyes again and see those pairs of worried eyes looking right at you, your heart melts. Jimin's arm lays around your waist, Taehyung being just behind you. And you're realizing all over again that there is nowhere else you'd rather be. Of course, yes, with the remaining four as well, and right now you feel warm, safe and secure.
"We can stop if you'd like," Jimin says. "Just say the word, my love."
But you do not say another word. Instead, you turn back his way and place a hand on his shoulder. He looks at you, a little confused because you aren't voicing anything but when you lean in, eyes slowly closing, Jimin smiles against the soft lips you kiss him with. He lets you take the lead that feels a little hesitant, filled with a soft, shy love that makes both your heads spin. How different you are from the heroic warrior on the battlefield to when you are laying in their arms will always baffle them. But they wouldn't like it any other way.
When you break the kiss, you fall against the crook of his neck and Jimin chuckles at your bashfulness.
"Hey, don't grow shy now, I want a kiss too," Jungkook whines through his pout and before Taehyung can say a thing, the doors to the chamber opens.
"What are you little devils doing to our little angel?" Namjoon's voice comes in lightly and the four of you turn to the call. The hyungs looks at the sight of you sitting on Jimin's lap, in between Taehyung and Jungkook, with just a simple bathrobe covering your body and Seokjin chuckles when he sees your flushed cheeks.
"You know not to overwhelm the little one," he chides the three Lords.
"Y/N liked it."
"Y/N loved it."
"She initiated our kiss."
Their eyes widen a little and with the sudden attention shift, you're quick to let out a small little squeak as you avoid their gaze. Your reaction, however, does not surprise them yet they don't mind it. You are cute, always, and that is what makes you even more endearing.
"Well, whether she did it or not, you will have to wait your turn when our little one is brave again," Yoongi says, giving a pointed look towards Jungkook who whines subtly but obeys as Hoseok holds his hand out for you to easily take.
"Not tonight though, she's taken her bath," Hoseok observes as he gives you light pets against your wet hair. "You may look tempting, my love, but your health is more important and you may catch a cold if you don't dry this pretty hair. We don't want that now do we?" He sits you on the chair of your vanity where you face the mirror, watching as he grabs the towel from Taehyung to start hand drying your hair for you.
"I can catch a cold?" You ask. "I can get sick?"
Namjoon hums. "Even immortals like us can be a little weak to nature and you haven't been a Goddess for long so you are more affected."
"Aw."
"Exactly, hence why we must be careful around you," Yoongi scolds, meeting the eyes of the younger ones who pouts a little.
"Sorry, love, you're just too sweet."
You giggle at Taehyung's attempt of an apology because you know he isn't all that sorry. "But I'm strong, you don't have to worry so much," you say to Yoongi. "I haven't caught any sickness since the day I became your shield."
"We may not have to worry about your sickness but you make that up through being reckless and continuously putting yourself in danger and that is even more worrisome," Seokjin points out.
"And do not try and excuse yourself out of this debate, you know it we're right," Namjoon says.
"I-"
"You be nice to yourself, little one," Hoseok cuts in as he takes the towel away from you, settling it onto the space beside you. His eyes catches yours from the mirror, his body bending to your level, chin propping against your shoulder as he breathes in your sweet scent from the body wash and shampoo. "Or do you want to be punished for that again?"
"I-I..-" You turn your head sideways to avoid his piercing gaze and when that is still not enough, you hide your face against the palms of your hands. They chuckle while you scowl, pouting. "You are so, so unfair."
"And you are the sweetest one to have ever melt our hearts." He picks you up without any warning and you squeal at the surprise before he sets you onto the large bed gently. For a moment you almost thought he would straight up drop you but when you think about it, they have never done that to you, deeming you too soft for them to be too aggressive towards even if it's in the form of love.
Hoseok kneels at both your sides and, flustered, you shuffle back while holding your arms out. "You said not tonight."
Their gazes are a mixture of playfulness, predatorial, and softness. You don't know how but they are your Lords, capable of anything, and that is what scares you to hit your back against the headboard. It isn't good, not when Hoseok has you trapped now.
"I miss you," he says.
"You see me everyday."
"I love you."
"You say it all the time."
"I want you."
When you do not respond to that, Hoseok smirks, satisfied. But he does not advance forth, not when you are not ready for it at the moment. So he leans back, now sitting while the rest grins at the sight of you two, and opens his arms for you.
"But of course, your decision is the final one."
Your response to his arms is never the final decision, Hoseok knows it, because you can never refuse to fall against them whenever offered to you. So it isn't a surprise when you move forward to climb into his lap, wrapping your little arms and legs around him as he pulls you in.
"I'm sleepy."
"Okay," he laughs when you nuzzle against him.
Maybe that was just an excuse, because you aren't at all sleepy, so as if to backfire against your own words, you lean away just a little to place light kisses upon his face.
"Not fair, I never got my kisses," Jungkook pouts and Hoseok lets you climb off him to go to the younger one instead. You deliver him your own kisses but he's a little annoyed you aren't going for his lips. "You missed."
"Huh?"
And he swoops in to claim your lips with his own, something that leaves you breathless in the end.
"Kook-"
"You say you're sleepy yet you seem to really enjoy that." Namjoon picks you up to let you straddle him instead before you can say a word and he kisses you sweetly without any warning.
At this point you should be used to it, expecting everything that they will give you, but each time you are passed onto another one's lips, they leave you hoping for more and more as your body heats up each time.
You don't complain though, because no matter what they do, every decision is for you to choose and they will always oblige to them. If you feel a little overwhelmed, they will let you go just enough for you to still feel loved, and if you don't know how to ask for things, they will help you guide through it.
Not every love is meant to be, especially the first love that has many significance for a lot of people. But it is often the one no one really ends up with, the one that is a little more childish, one that you crush on, the first love you are meant to have at a younger generation.
But you were never given the choice to live that life when you were younger. All your life it has always been about honoring the family and being the protective shield, running off the battles and wars and fighting off the bad guys. You never had a life to live for yourself, always only for others.
Even when you met your Lords it was only about them, their safety, their lives, their rules.
Until you found yourself losing sight of the difference between the relationship of that of a servant and her Lord, to a friend towards a friend. And eventually, that friendship grew into something more, something brighter, more bashful, more lovely.
And then, the love.
But that love did not last as long as you hoped for it to be. From the beginning, you knew it wasn't going to work out so great, not when you were only meant to be a shield for the rest of your life.
So the reincarnation period was what broke you into realizing that real love is not a fantasy or something made in dreams. Real love is hard, it's made up of so many obstacles trying to hold you down. It's difficult, it isn't always laughs and fun.
But it is the desire and heart that goes into the love is what keeps it alive.
Giving up was always an option to take, to just forget about it all and let life inevitably take you away when the time was up. After all, you would be forgotten in the end anyway when your hard work gets wasted if you were to fail.
But it is the hope that keeps you going.
Because you knew that if you were to give up, the Lords that knows you, that loves and cherishes you, that remembers everything about you, will fall heartbroken if they knew you had given up.
So you sacrificed your life many times, breaking your own bones and spirit.
Yet you made it.
They are yours again. Until the last star falls.
And you know you will never regret falling in love with the seven Lords that loves you so much and treats you so well.
"The word love feels so small at this point."
"What do you mean?" Seokjin asks.
You take his hand, kissing the tip of his fingertips. "Because I love you so much that it feels like saying it is not enough."
You're right.
So, so right.
Because when they look at you, you are so much more than just the simple word of "love." You are life, you are the world, you are beauty, war and passion.
You are love. A love that has been written in the stars since the beginning, only meant for them and them alone.
You are theirs and they are yours.
2K notes · View notes
p1nkwitch · 3 years
Text
Just saw the good place season 1 and i know spoilers so…
Tma good place au fic idea that i won't make but if anyone does be my guest.
Team archives is team crocroach 
Martin Blackwood, after an accident he wakes up in the good place apparently, where Elias informs him that because of his charity and wonderful relationship with his mother he gained a place in their midst.
The thing is…  he did not have the money to have a charity,his relationship with his mother was terrible and he did not study in a fancy college like they told him. He lied in Cv’s to get jobs to pay for everything and in difficult times even had to shoplift a little. So he knows someone messed up, but he did not want to be sent to the bad place so he rolled with it.
Elias tells him of his supposed soulmate one Jonathan Sims and Martin knows he is fucked because he is his type, but he also needs help to keep up the charade. Jon is not happy to know he lied but despite his attitude he doesn't want to let him be sent to the bad place so he helps.
Jonathan Sims was a difficult person to get along with and he knew that, he lived his life constantly pushing other people away and trying to prove that he was better for his lack of self worth. His constant indecision, inability to trust others and more led him to the bad place. Despite his prickly attitude, he is in fact a really soft and kind person who worries about those he cares about, but is too afraid to be hurt to be honest. Helping Martin he learns to be more honest with himself and to show himself, at least until the reboot where once again everyone has to start from scratch. He resents Tim at first for his attitude, but eventually they become great friends, the same with Sasha and Martin whom he falls for.
Timothy Stoker loves his brother and enjoys life to the fullest, however before dying he had a fight with his brother Danny after he got hurt in one of his many hobbies and accidentally got himself killed while leaving the hospital. He is carefree and gives very friendly vives, but he struggles to form actual real relationships with others, everyone can say good things about Tim, but no one really knows him. Until Sasha, Jon and Martin, that's when he learns to let others in, be honest and that he matters to them beyond his looks and jokes, He eventually falls in love with Sasha.
Sasha James is the other person who got wrongly sent to the good place, she worked a perfectly good job as researcher, but later at home worked as a hacker for fun and extra cash, according to Elias she was a lawyer who was very bad with technology but did constant works for free and helped people all around her. She needed to figure out how to be less self centered,  and to think about what her job did to some of the people she hacked who weren't rich assholes. Something that he usually refused to acknowledge since she treated it like a challenge. Sasha was competitive and wanted to be successful, where her regular job didn't do her other one let her be better. She falls in love with Tim. 
Elias Bouchard is the architect of their neighborhood and a demon who wanted hell to be less messy and more psychological. He thought he was going to make everyone's lives worse but actually they started to get better. Elias is still a bastard but eventually he does get fond of his archive crew, enough so to at least try to get them away and to pretend everything is fine so he doesnt get vaporized from reality. He is married to Peter Lukas, it was a drunk accident but he couldn't get the divorce papers for the amount of time and work it would mean so they both pretend that it didn't happen. He learnt to care a little more about humans and that maybe he does like/love Peter too, who also has similar revelations.
Melanie King is Janet. Now this is only because, bad place Melanie is basically slaughter Melanie. She becomes more self aware the more times she gets rebooted and eventually becomes friends with the humans actively wanting them to be able to leave. When Jon’s ex girlfriend Georgie ends up there for the new test, they end up falling in love. 
Finally extra characters!
Gertrude is the judge impartial as hell but hates Elias. Still she ends up accepting the new test to see if the point system is rigged or not.
Peter Lukas is Elias husband and rival, at one point way before the team archives arrived, they got married by accident and the paperwork to divorce them was so complicated that they just sort of let it be. When Elias gets threatened to be disappeared from existence he realizes that oh shit I dont want him to be gone, I might actually love this bastard, so he joins in their efforts to save the humans.
Georgie is Jon's ex-girlfriend that eventually ends up in the bad place to test out the point system. She falls in love with Melanie and she and Jon hash out their past relationship to be friends again.
Thats all i have, my brain is kinda burned out and i need to play a dnd game now.
43 notes · View notes
decayandfanfics · 3 years
Text
The great book of sayings
PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x FemReader
SUMMARY: He looks at you, his scarlet eyes fixed on yours, burning a hole through your head, every bit the predator he is, but you are as tough as it gets, so, against your better judgment and any well-founded logic, you answer his silent threat, the animalistic look he gives you with nothing less than a fearless smirk, irises burrowing into his pupils.A clever girl. He thinks, finally labeling you inside his head, cursing himself in the very moment he allows his brain to think of you as more than an asset. He is sure (he knows himself enough to know) he’ll think of this moment many times from now on.A clever pretty girl.
Reader is a typical college student until she gets herself tangled with the league of villains.
WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, violence, Tomura being Tomura, mentions of murder, heroes’ abuse of power, smut later.
A/N: I’m trying so hard to write crusty boy here really in character. At least after AfO is taken. Any misspelled words, english is not my native language so i’m trying Helen.
_______________________________________________________
Chapter 7 / Chapter 8
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Three days became four, then five. The hours flowing between your fingers and before you know it’s been two weeks and three days already.
Not that your will ask them to go. You were pretty sure the little trembling harmony that reigns in your home is as fragile as you decide by asking the wrong question.
To say you are comfortable would be rich, at least. They are a band of murderers, meanwhile you were just a student, but you would be lying if you didn’t accept the fact that the wave of fear had subdue to become some mild annoyance.
The thing is that the famous league of villains is as human as can be. Surely, they are insane, powerful, and menacing, but they also eat, and sleep, and they watch tv and smile when they are happy.
So here you are, getting in tune with their antics. Like how Magne likes to use your flowery shampoo because smells nice and it makes her feel pretty, or that Mr. Compress drinks his milk with honey before sleep.
So, you try your best to remember place and time, but then Toga asks you to paint her nails and asks if she can brush your hair because she wants so desperately to be your friend that something in your heart breaks a little when you remember that she’s just an abandoned child, with no other feminine figure to guide her. (Magne does what she can, but she also faces different kinds of struggle.)
Something in you began to soften to them and you simply cannot help it. Maybe is the little girl in you who wanted to be a hero but saw it impossible.
That’s how you end asking Spinner about his swords, both of you watching some tv program about forging historical weapons, and sharing about your parent’s death with Jin, who cries for you and hugs your tightly telling everyone he’s so happy to have a friend like you.
You end up buying vitamins and oranges for them because no one getting scurvy under your watch. Patching their injures and making some fast clinical examination of them, just to discover some of them are underweight, scrawny, and sharp. So, you cook for them, and made two beds in the living room because you’ve always had a soft spot for broken things and lost causes and somehow, you really want to make them feel nice, and you are no longer sure if this is about your survival or theirs.
Then is Tomura.
You can feel the attraction growing wild inside of you. How your eyes look for his figure inside the house and how you care about what he thinks of you or what he likes.
He’s not helping either, not when he insists on playing chess with you between playful back and forth, or sometimes just sits behind you in the kitchen counter to watch you cook. Silent until he’s not, asking “what’s that” when he sees you putting some spices in the pot.
He’s a curious cat. A fast learner and problem solver. Quick to intuition and creativity.
And you like the way his hair falls wet over his shoulders, clearing away from his face after he showers, looking less like a vagabond and more like a boy.
It’s awful and you know it. You can recognize a crush from a mile away and yours is there pulsing alive for everyone to watch.
The sad part is the what if.
Sometimes Toga asks things. Random things about medicine, about history, about books, and you cannot help it but to vomit everything you know about the subject because you are a scholar above everything else.
Those are the moments when Shigaraki will look at you from the corner of his ruby eyes, attentively listening and absorbing anything you say, siting quietly in a corner of the room, playing with his phone. Then he’ll hear something that catches his interest, asking you about it, his questions always interesting and more complex than Toga’s.
It saddens you to think of him as a student. His brilliance shining under the lights of proper education and love. What positive reinforcement and care could have done for him. Not that you know anything about Shigaraki, but there is no way a loving family could produce such person (not when you are more than sure that he’s clinically depressed), so your bets are on violence and abandonment.
What brilliant career could have achieved, what kind of things would he create, instead of just brutal destruction and (you suspect this one) raw self-loathing.
So, you dream of him sometimes.
You can see him wearing more than just a worn-out coat, a backpack hanging from his shoulder and his soft features clean and properly cared for. What he should look without the dry skin, the slouching and the eyebags.
You can imagine him crossing paths with you on campus, siting with you in the cafeteria, laughing youthfully, his persona free of the heavy weight of his wicked gestures, product of a life expended celebrating too much spite.
Maybe you would have meet him in other circumstances. A “friend of a friend” in some shitty party, the kind of boy that smiles when speaking, sharing some smart-ass joke, his witty speech making you laugh, making you fall.
Just like now.  
“so, how do you know a quirk is a mutation?” Toga ask while you read some article in your laptop.
“well, most of them have a base or function as a variety of some primordial quirk. Those that are mutations simple work outside the norm and tend to be very dangerous for the everyone, including the holder, because as the mutation is a completely new expression of genetics, the rest of the body is still adapting to the evolutionary crescendo. That and, well…mutants have a very distinct look because the gene that comes with the mutation, also alters the expression of other common things like melatonin production.”
“Oh! I remember that! We saw it at school…with the Mendeleyev system.”
“exactly!” You say, but Toga isn’t done with the questions and you don’t stop the conversation before-
“so, how do they look? The mutants. How do they look.”
“well, they all have silver hair and red eyes.”
They look at the corner of the kitchen and only then you realize what you’ve done.
“Congratulations, Shigaraki. You are officially a fucking freak.” Dabi says from the couch, but Shigaraki doesn’t answer his provocation. He just keeps playing in his phone, the only sign of acknowledge is an arched brow.
It rubs you wrong. As much as anybody is okay with it, you hate the words that leave his mouth.
Maybe is the fact that he’s making fun of someone’s looks, or maybe is because hearing someone being called a freak sends you back to high school when your classmates told you that you were a fucking creep with that evil quirk of yours (or maybe is the stupid crush speaking) but it makes you angry, so before you can think of it, you spat.
“blue eyes are a mutation too, so you are no one to talk about it.”
Twice laughs at the comeback, but before you could taste your little win, Dabi makes sure to answer back because he’s being dying to fight you the moment he set a foot on your apartment.
“that was bold for a quirkless little bitch.”
You laugh astonished, deciding you will not acknowledge the fact he (very wrongly) thinks you quirkless.
“A quirkless little bitch? Seriously, Dabi? Where you raised in a fucking barn that you know nothing but fuck this and bitch that?
“yeah. I know stupid cunt too.” He barks referring to you.
“Dabi, cut it out.” Shigaraki snaps to no avail.
“Hey! We agree in no insults!” Compress try to quiet the fight down, but neither of you pays attention.
“I’m sure you do. Pretty useful to describe yourself I bet.”
“you sure like to bet, like how you are betting I don’t burn you alive for being an annoying bitch.” He threatens looking at the chess game still on the kitchen table, getting quickly into your nerves.
“Guys-“Toga fails to intercede.
“Fuck off, Dabi. This might be shocking for you, but you don’t scare me.”
“now, that’s pretty fucking stupid of you.”
“Dabi, shut up!” Shigaraki growls done, but you are not paying attention to him, so you keep pushing into the fight.  
“I’m not the one insulting everyone just because I cannot deal with some fucking daddy issues.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT” he snarls before kicking the little table in your living room, breaking one of its legs.
“CUT IT OUT! I don’t have to know when it’s plainly obvious you have problems with authority.”
“you really think you are so clever, don’t you?” he states, crossing the living room, aiming to you.
“Dabi, get the fuck out!” this time Shigaraki yells.
“I know I am, asshole!”
He stops his tracks, looming over you. His eyes scanning your face before looking at Shigaraki, who suddenly stands beside you.
Dabi laughs darkly.
“stupid woman. You should know better.”
And then…he just slaps your laptop out of the table; the computer smashing open against the cemented ground.
Chapter 9
10 notes · View notes
Note
the "mutual aid village commune" future leftists wet themselves over where everyone "relies on their community" wpuld do absolutely nothing but foster an environment where my mother and people like her could even more completely entrap and abuse me through their favored tactic of preemptively turning everyone against me so they'll blame me for everything and always take her side no matter what she does. i already have absolutely no one and my (v disabled) life is in constant danger cause of her.
(Part 2): it is also the PERFECT environment for every single one of those dumbass utopian anti-civ communes to become a death cult, especially where these same people constantly romanticize the idea of everyone collectively having *little to no travel mobility* as somehow *better*. every last one of their stupid communes will be miserable and starving and every last one of them will be a horrific death cult where the disabled and anyone they don't like is tortured behind closed doors with no escape.
(Part 3): and you know what ELSE the stupid anti-civ leftist mutual aid commune paradise environment would be perfect for fostering? fucking tribalism. EVERY SINGLE ONE of those isolated commune towns is going to end up being a culty nightmare where whether you live or die is based on if everyone likes your vibe and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them is going to end up violently hating the others because, big fucking surprise, humans suck! so they'll all want to kill eachother making escape even more impossible. 
(Part 4): these kind of shitty communes would also very quickly turn on the disabled, no matter how much they try to pat themselves on the back and say they're better because they're "leftists". especially any disabled person with inconvenient issues and/or abrasive personality. at least the few disabled people that wouldn't just fucking die because in this anti-civ tribal state nobody would be producing medicine and how much your fucking community likes you would control whether you even got any or not. 
(Part 5): because cutting everyone off from the outside world and isolating them forever in community support based commune towns they can never leave with no outside oversight is a GREAT idea that we definitely haven't seen all the serious problems with demonstrated repeatedly in the american midwest with it's cult and sundown towns and also basically all of human history! whether people like it or not humans gathered in communities left to their own devices naturally form abusive death cults.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m not as convinced as you are that it’s impossible to create a functioning mutual-aid community and I can see the appeal of a close-knit community in theory (it is something I crave, but in practice I’ve yet to see one that would appeal because, well, people in the aggregate do suck and all the close-knit communities I’ve seen so far have been perhaps not necessarily outright abusive, but still prone to everyone being all up in everybody else’s business in a very judgmental and stressful rather than supportive way. But I’m not going to outright discard the idea that it’s possible, just because I haven’t seen it). I also think that if people want to create a community like that because they (rightly or wrongly) believe it’ll make them happy, who am I to poo-poo that. BUT: There should be at least enough outside oversight and connection to other places to make it possible for anyone who wants to leave to do so at anytime, because I do agree that the risks you list here are overwhelmingly huge. In general, I’m a pretty strong believer in people’s right to leave. Situations that curtail that right are inherently suspect. I have yet to see any talk of mutual aid communities that fully takes the risks you mentioned into account and suggests ways of preventing them beyond “Eh, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it”. So despite being less convinced of the inherent impossibility than you, when it comes to the utopian ideas thrown around on tumblr, they mostly just strike me as daydreams that someone hasn’t thought all the way through. (Which is fine, but people rarely phrase it in a ‘This is a daydream, I haven’t thought it all the way through’ sort of way.) As for anti-civ ideas (which I don’t think are inherently a part of mutual-aid communities at all, so I’m treating them as a separate thing) I have not seen anything that would suggest those are workable for anyone but a tiny minority of non-disabled adults and only to the point at which those non-disabled adults require extensive medical care, which is pretty much the case for anyone at least once in their lifetime. If “I might die early and in pain” is the trade-off someone wants to make and they don’t pull anyone unwilling into it, all the more power to them, but I don’t generally see people acknowledging that trade-off (though I also don’t tend to read all that much anti-civ stuff in the first place).
So in summary: Yeah, your concerns are valid as fuck. I’m trying to keep an open mind about the possibility of mutual aid communes as a concept but until I see an idea for one that actually makes thorough, workable-looking plans for preventing abuse, isolation and hateful tribalism, I’m going to remain skeptical. And any plan that would require everybody to live a certain way can, of course, fuck right off.
2 notes · View notes
mobius-prime · 4 years
Text
240. Sonic the Hedgehog #172
Tumblr media
Truth of the Heart
Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracey Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen
This story is a great example of the visual appeal of Ian's storytelling. When it comes to comics, as far as I'm aware, it's the writer who sort of storyboards and lays out the general flow of the panels, almost like directing shots in a movie. Indeed, the flow of this story is very cinematic, with a lot of focus on movement and camera angles, and of course Tracy's excellent artwork only serves to bring the story to life. Boy, it's nice to be praising things for a change instead of constantly criticizing!
We open to find Amy viciously attempting to attack a confused Fiona with her hammer. Fiona seems genuinely baffled at first, but then Amy recounts how she had found Tails hanging out outside when looking for Sonic, and learned the thing that's been weighing so heavily on him ever since his encounter with Sleuth Dawg - Fiona has indeed been cheating on Sonic with Scourge. Wow, never saw that one coming!
Tumblr media
This is why you avoid having these kinds of conversations out in the open, Fiona. Sonic gently dismisses Amy after thanking her for looking out for him, and while she's smitten by the look in his deep green eyes Sonic leads Fiona into the treeline to discuss things, unaware that Tails is circling overhead listening in. Fiona acts offended that Sonic would believe "a couple of kids" over her, but Sonic firmly states that he trusts them, and her recent disappearances have only served to make him more suspicious. She tries to point to the instances where she's helped the Freedom Fighters recently, but Sonic continues to insist that those don't negate what seems to be currently happening, and furthermore, he did notice that she only expressed attraction to him after Scourge originally flirted with her. Fiona evades his questions, saying she tried to stick to the "hero thing" for him and wanted to find some middle ground. Before he can ask her what she means, an all-too-familiar voice interrupts them.
Tumblr media
Welp! Unfortunately, it seems that Fiona couldn't bring herself to give up her less-than-virtuous lifestyle after all, and has found something more exciting in Scourge. It's a shame, and I for one am torn on this. For one, I really liked the idea of having a character who explicitly had a shady background learning to become more heroic and let go of their old ways of thinking, but on the other, Fiona as a character was in danger of starting to become boring. She didn't have much else that defined her apart from her past, and if she fully gave all that up, she would end up as just another generic Freedom Fighter with eyes for Sonic, as though a high percentage of the female cast doesn't already. As it stands, I do actually support this decision to turn her into a bit of a villain, as she became much more interesting and fun as a character following this issue. Tails clearly doesn't agree though, because he suddenly dives in from the air to beg Fiona to reconsider.
Tumblr media
Oh, boy, Fiona. You just did the one thing that Sonic will never, ever tolerate - you hurt one of his friends. Tails fights back his tears and simply tells Sonic to "just get 'em," and Sonic, needing no more encouragement, rushes at Fiona, who irritably tells Sonic that he's her prime example of not being able to rely on anyone - apparently, despite what she said before, she still isn't fully over his leaving her behind in prison so many years ago. However, Scourge intercepts Sonic before he can get to Fiona, and while they run and fight, he smugly explains that he's realized he's more into Fiona than he'd thought, since he likes that she chooses to be dark instead of being that way from the get-go. Furthermore, he believes he's figured out just why Sonic hates him so much, aside from his stealing of his girlfriend.
Tumblr media
Ooh, struck a nerve there, Scourge? Fiona interrupts the moment of reflection with a swift kick to Sonic's midsection, and when Amy shows up to help in the fight, the two villains decide they've had enough for one day, and leave via warp ring, with Fiona blowing Sonic one last kiss. Sonic checks on Tails, who despite feeling awful, is still firm in his trust in Sonic and his other friends, something which Sonic is quick to reaffirm for him. As Tails heads off to get some comfort from his parents, Antoine arrives and is surprised at Sonic's revelation that Fiona betrayed them, and this seems to strike something aflame in his heart. Ranting about their enemies growing in numbers, he requests that Sonic and Amy follow him, as he's about to do something that he feels he should have done long ago…
Worth the Effort
Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Jason Jensen
Early one morning, Julie-Su wakes Amy up for a day of training, though Amy isn't quite so thrilled with the early hour. She sluggishly trails along behind Julie-Su as they head for an open space, and fails to look where she's going, resulting in a bit of a rude re-awakening.
Tumblr media
I mean, I feel your pain, Amy. I don't like waking up early either. The two spend the day training together, with Julie-Su instructing Amy in battle techniques, and during a break, Julie-Su asks why Amy came to her for personal training in the first place. Of course, we know why, don't we?
Tumblr media
Aw, I actually like the reference to the multiple scenes Julie-Su and Knuckles have had both alone and together on that specific dock. It's kind of been a setpiece in itself for their budding relationship, especially back during the KtE sister series. Julie-Su tries to convince Amy to focus on her training for herself first and foremost, but even though Amy agrees that she wants this for herself, somehow she still brings the conversation right back around to Sonic. Just then, the subject of her infatuation arrives along with Knuckles and Tails, inviting the two of them out to join in on a mission against Eggman. Amy of course happily accepts, and thinks to herself once again about how she'll show Sonic one day that she's good enough for him.
Though I'm sure a lot of readers are thoroughly sick of scores of female characters all trying to impress Sonic and throwing themselves at him by now - so much romance in what's supposed to be an action series! - I do like that this actually acknowledges Amy's reasons behind her crush. In basically all canons, she's not just interested in becoming Sonic's girlfriend for its own sake - she wants to actively impress him, and earn his respect. I see a lot of people try to characterize her as this stalkerish, borderline-yandere freak who'd just as soon kidnap Sonic as ask him on a date, but that's just not Amy. Before anything else, she wants Sonic to respect her and value her as more than just a love interest - she knows she has the potential to become a fighting force to be reckoned with in her own right, and also knows that that's exactly the kind of person Sonic tends to be attracted to. Really, as we'll see in future issues, the comics do Amy very right, and I really appreciate that, as I feel she's often severely misunderstood and wrongly characterized.
17 notes · View notes