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yndrgrl · 10 months

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katsuki bakugo is the only man who can help bunnygirl! you during heat.

established relationship. normal! au. first time as a couple.

warnings: nsfw, lowkey angst ngl, fellatio, praise, slight degradation, creampie

if you're here for the nsfw part, i marked it >:)

a/n: dude, idk why my last fic has that "mature" label 😭 also is this a hypersexual comfort fic? yeah.

---

"are you okay? you look hot?"

"your forehead is on fire!"

"you look red. drink some water."

you've been hearing that non-stop all day. of course, you know that everyone has good intentions, but it was so annoying.

no, you didn't feel fine, nor did you feel sick. it was a strange, embarrassing thing to admit. in a world full of truly remarkable quirks, you just had to get a basic one. your quirk was rabbit. you know mirko? yeah, well you two are in the same boat.

you have floppy bunny ears the same color as your hair, a puff ball of a bunny tail, & muscular legs. all so cutesy & alright to deal with. the behavioral traits were what got you though. increased hearing, jittery/easily scared, & most annoying of all, the heat that came with it.

though it wasn't unusual to have heat, it was definitely not something you mention in a passing conversation. heat made it hard to focus on anything except for breeding & sex. your senses are enhanced, making clothes feel itchy at all times. your train of thought always derailed to live making. that's why you were prescribed heat repressant.

no side affects & it worked like a charm.

however, this month you forgot to stock up on them, & you just so happened to run out. you would've just skipped school to get some, but it was midterms, which comes with tests & presentations that simply could not be made up. it was either fail your classes or bite the bullet.

"oi! what's your deal?" someone barked at you. ah yes, your boyfriend of six months, katsuki bakugo.

"nothing," you said with annoyance. another thing about your heat is that you get irritable because of the overwhelming feeling of needing to do a certain activity. "don't worry about it."

taken aback, katsuki reached out for you & spun you around. your eyes welled with tears of frustration & utter embarrassment, the tips of your ears were red, & every thread of your clothes made your skin crawl. "hey, what's going on?"

"i-it's nothing, just leave me alone. class is about to start." you understood how much katsuki prides himself in his academics. you're not gonna be the one to drag him down; that's not very amazing-cool-awesome girlfriend of you, after all.

he wanted to say that he didn't care & let's just ditch class, but you both knew you couldn't. the exams were too important. luckily for the both of you, the last period of the day was study hall. most kids just skip it, starting their free time early.

just a few classes, then i can go get medication, that's not bad at all, i've been through worse, you thought in attempts to calm yourself.

yeah, but imagine how could it would feel to be absolutely railed, oh fuck, imagine katsuki-

you had to cut yourself off, he was standing right beside you after all.

your relationship with katsuki has been slow, healthy, & true. the most you two have done in the span of six months is make out, grind, & grope each other clothed. both of you saw a future together so having sex didn't have to happen right then & there. if it happens, it happens, but there was no need to have it to connect.

you didn't want you first time with the love of your life to be because of your current circumstances.

"did i do something?" he asked, making your ears twitch.

"no, it's not you," you reassured, "there's nothing going on." you both entered the classroom, & you could feel katsuki's worried stare focused on you the entire time.

you took exam after exam, which, in of itself, is a long, stressful process. the bell rang throughout the school, & your classmates shuffled out of the room to go to their last period. finally, it was study hall. you threw everything into your backpack without a care. you were practically panting.

throughout the school day, the pressure building inside of you only gotten worse. you couldn't stop thinking about katsuki. his god-sent body, his perfect face, his rugged voice. god, he turned you on so much-- too much, actually.

you felt bad for ignoring all of his texts throughout the day. if you didn't, however, you had a feeling you would've sent some embarrassing messages.

as you exited your class, someone grasped your wrist, dragging you out of the school. their touch lit you on fire. you knew exactly who it was. "let me go, katsuki."

"no, not until you tell me what i did!" he growled at you. he doesn't even realize how wet i am for him-

you had to shut off your thoughts, but that's easier said than done.

"i told you already. you didn't do anything."

"well something is going on with you. tell me what's happening," he raised his voice, a vice grip still hanging onto your wrist. you were getting overstimulated & overwhelmed. once again, you couldn't help the angry tears from forming. you couldn't help but hyperfixate on your panties brushing against your sensitive clit. you couldn't help that your nipples were painfully perked.

you can't just admit that though. it's such a stupid problem to you. you felt so wrong & disgusting for thinking about sex all day. "you wouldn't understand!" you finally yelled back. "you wouldn't get it."

he didn't respond. katsuki continued to drag you throughout campus, leaving you with your thoughts.

god, i made him mad, you mentally cried out. hopefully he'll hate fuck you then-

you want to rip out your own brain & throw it on the concrete. it was a constant cycle of that the entire walk.

a few moments later, you realized you were in his dorm, sitting on his bed with him across from you in his desk chair. both of your hands were in his as he brushed his thumbs against your knuckles. that alone gave you goosebumps. "please tell me what's wrong, baby," he said in a hushed near-whimper. "i'm worried about you."

"you really wouldn't get it, katsuki," you whispered, finally letting a few tears roll down your cheek.

he placed his index finger underneath your chin. he gently raised your head, your gaze following suit. the two of you locked eyes, his swirling with worry & yours sprawling in uncertainty. "then make me understand."

"it's my stupid quirk," you exasperated. you tried coming up with ways of how to say what you want to say without scaring him off.

"what about it?" he asked.

"you have such a nice quirk, you know," you started, avoiding his question. "it's just so much flashier & cooler than mine. there's already a rabbit hero!"

"what are you talking about? you do have a cool quirk."

"i'm a bunnygirl. nothing more. people already know what to expect-"

"what is this really about? you brag all the time how you get to come up with new ways to make your quirk yours," he countered, not convinced with your answer. "there's something more, isn't there?"

katsuki was so good at reading people-- at reading you. the other times you've confided in him, your voice lacked clarity, stability. why would it be different now? it wouldn't, that's why.

"yeah, there is," you admitted, tugging on his hands so he'd get closer. "i just don't know how you'll react or how to even say it-"

"it's fine. just tell me, i won't get mad or judge you or whatever," he assured. you began to cry even more, staining his dress shirt.

he smelt so good, i can feel his muscles through his shirt, he's so sexy-

"i need you," you muttered into his chest.

"what was that, baby?"

you glanced up at him, eyes glossy, lips pouted. "i need you."

katsuki's breath hitched, "what are you talking about?" yes, he's had theories about your quirk & its drawbacks. was this it? was his theory correct?

more tears of frustration rolled down your cheeks as you tried to explained, "i have... you know."

his cock stirred, scolding himself mentally for getting hard during a time like this. "have what?" he wanted you to say it, confirm his suspicions.

you took a deep breath. "i have this thing every month or so, & it just makes things so much harder."

"tell me." his stern voice sent shockwaves through you.

it made you obey him automatically, robotically. "i'm going through heat." a silence followed. "it's normal for people with quirks like mine to go through this. i usually have repressants! & i know this probably makes you so uncomfortable; i understand if you don't want to be-"

-- nsfw starts here --

katsuki cut off your rambling, almost offended. "don't ever say that. i want you, all of you."

"p-please don't say such things," you begged him as you felt your pussy throb. "i'm r-really trying to hold back-"

"let me take care of you, princess," katsuki purred, finger tips ghosting over your exposed thighs. he buried his face into the crook of your neck. "do you want this, y/n? because i want you right now. if you tell me you don't want this, i'll stop."

all you could do is nod, your breath turning uneven.

"say it, y/n."

"i need you so bad. please, katsuki," you cried out as you rubbed your legs together.

he smirked into your neck before he started kissing your neck. you couldn't help but whimper. he noticed you holding back, so he bit your neck. he sucked hickeys all over your neck. your unsteady breathes turned into needy moans.

"t-take off my shirt, please-"

katsuki took in your demand by ripping it off your skin as if it were poison. he unhooked your bra, throwing it on the floor. "ah fuck," he groaned, cupping your breasts.

"are they o-okay?"

"you're fuckin' perfect, baby."

with one, he replaced his rough, calloused hand with his mouth. you grinder against his thigh as flicked your nipple with his tongue. "k-katsuki~"

he switched to the other one, giving it the same treatment. "all mine," he growled in between. he nipped at the skin around your nipples. your neck & chest were soon littered with purple marks & bites.

"let me touch you," you begged & you began to fidget with the buttons of his shirt. "take this off~"

"so needy, aren't you, princess," katsuki teased, yet he gave into you. he threw off his shirt, looming over you. goosebumps pricked at your skin, all over your arms down to your legs. you found yourself trailing your hands all over his abs, his muscular arms, around his back. it was like your hands had a mind of their own.

you flipped the two of you around, so now he was under you. "c-can i please mark you?"

he let out a laugh of amusement, making your face turn a deep red. "you don't have to ask, baby," he told you. as a response, you mimicked his actions from earlier. your lips kissed all over his neck, leaving marks in its wake. you trailed down to his chest, then his abs then his v-line until you reached the band of his pants.

the entire time, he was groaning, feeding you praises that shot straight through your core. when you stopped, he looked down at you, & there you were, staring back at him with eager, wide eyes. he could read you so well. "go ahead, y/n. pull them down."

to which you did. you hands hooked both his uniform pants & his boxers. you pulled them down, & your mouth watered when his cock sprung out. "i-it's so big," you moaned; you meant to only think that, but you couldn't help it.

his mushroom tip beaded precum, his veiny shaft twitched in anticipation. "you see how hard i am for you? all for you," katsuki told you, watching your eyes dart to his then back down to his cock.

you started licking him to test the waters. you saw as his eyebrows furrowed together, his mouth agape, narrowed eyes. your licks evolved into you sticking his tip into your mouth. your tongue flicked around his cock. you crossed your eyes & whined when you tasted his precum. thanks to his quirk, it tasted almost sweet, salty, & god, was it addicting.

you bobbed your head up & down his thick rod. the tip hit the back of your throat while spit flooded your mouth. it was hard to breath, but you didn't care. having katsuki inside of you was more important than breathing. "slow down. you're gonna make me cum, good girl."

that was enough inspiration for you. you needed his cum. you forced your head all the way down his cock, your nose buried in his pubes. your eyes watered (for the fifth time today), & you stared into katsuki's eyes. both of his hands tangled themselves into your hair. "i'm gonna fuck that slutty, little throat, okay? just tap if it's too much," he informed, but he had a feeling you were going let him do whatever he wanted.

you moaned as a way to let him know that you heard him. the vibrations quivered his tip. "mmm, fuck. you're doing so good," he praised, jutting his hips forward the drawing them back.

his thrusts at first were small, in fear he was hurting you. however, as he looked down at you, your eyes rolled back, drool spilling out of your mouth, rubbing your aching clit for some sort of release, he couldn't hold back. he started using your throat as a fuck toy.

fast & rough, & all you could do was take it. take it, even though you're crying & it's hard to breath. "i'm close," he uttered out in between moans. his sultry voice turned a pitch higher in a humiliating tease, "you want my cum, baby? huh? c'mon, tell me you want it."

you choked out muffled, "yes please" & "cum down my throat please." he laughed at you trying to form sentences with your mouth stuffed. "such an eager bitch. fine, i'll give you what you want."

he thrusted his hips forwards, keeping your head in place. you face smushed against his hips. his cock twitched as he unloaded spurts of cum down your throat.

he pulled away, & strings of saliva mixed with his semen leaked onto your skirt. you looked back up at him, finding his cock still erect. "you look so surprised," katsuki said as he caught his breath. "i'm still so hard for you. after all, i told you i was going to take care of you."

"p-please have sex with me," you barely even whispered.

"what was that?"

"please-"

"i still can't hear you," katsuki told you, stroking his dick. he really knew how to push your buttons

"please fuck me, katsuki! i need it, i need you so bad~ i need your big cock inside of me," you blurted out. you finally let you stupid, nasty fantasies get the better of you.

judging from katsuki's smug expression, he wanted you to indulge in them. "alright, alright. you've been such a good girl for me. it's the least i could do," he shrugged before flipping you over so you were trapped under him. even in your most intimate moments, he was cocky. & god, did it make your pussy wet.

as he started to pull your skirt down, your hands shot to grab his wrists. "no, fuck me now, i can't wait. it hurts too bad," you whined, your glossy lips pouting.

"of course, princess," he said with a smirk. "whatever you want." katsuki's fingers dove under your skirt to push your panties out of the way. he held your legs up, placing your calves over his shoulders.

he lubed the tip of his dick with your juices by running it through your folds. "you're so wet for me, good girl."

"it's all for you, katsuki~" you purred, anticipation practically killing you. you felt pride as he turned his head to kiss the meat of your calf in approval.

"can't let it go to waste," he told you. he lined his thick, heavy cock with your entrance. something must've taken over you because, the moment it lined up with your hole, you shoved your hips forward with your entire body.

you let out a squeal of pleasure, your pussy stretching to accommodate for katsuki's lengthy cock. "shit, baby, you almost knocked me over," he chuckled as he readjusted. both of his hands were on your hips.

"shut up & fuck me," you growled at him. his cock twitched, brow raised in amusement.

"yes ma'am," he replied, "but remember you said that." from the get-go, his thrusts were powerful, immediately finding the cervix. your nails dug into his biceps down to his wrists. moans, whimpers, & screams spilled out of your lips.

katsuki took his fingers to your mouth & demanded in a low voice, "suck."

the action made you quiet down. he found your g-spot soon after, & you felt lightheaded. with his fingers down your throat, his cock abusing your most sensitive spot, & katsuki whispering dirty nothings into your ears, you shut your eyes & released all the tension building up.

"f-f-fuck, i-i'm cumming, katsuki," you rasped, voice having a small lisp thanks to his fingers. you squirted all over his abdomen, breath heavy & uneven.

he didn't stop though. he still rammed his big fuckin' dick in & out of you, not letting you calm down from your euphoric high. in fact, his hand that you slobbered all over found their way to your clit. he drew small circles around it. "ah, katsuki!" you moaned. "it's too much!"

"you'll be a good girl, & take it, won't you? i haven't cum inside you yet," he responded while his other hand pinched your nipples.

"i-i-i'll be a good girl, katsuki~" you slurred, speaking on beat with his thrusts. he made you cum three more times then you felt as his hips became more robotic, shorter, uncalculated.

"i'm cumming," he groaned through gritted teeth. "i'm cumming. fuckin' take all of it." thick jets of hot, white cum stained your walls. his dick pulsated inside of you. you came again; who could blame you?

he took a few deep breaths, collapsing on top of you as he pulled out of your pussy. cum spilled out of you & onto his sheets. he embraced you, whispering, "round two?"

4K notes · View notes

floralcyanide · 4 months

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— 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 (nsfw)

important note: if you don't like rpf (or fanfic about real people), please just scroll past. don't be rude in the reblogs or tags or I will just block you. it costs zero dollars to mind your business and keep scrolling. tom will literally never see this. I will never send it to him. therefore, no one is getting harmed by this. rpf is written by many about many real people and has been for a long time. if you'd like to file a complaint, I'd love to see you say that writing rpf is weird to the Hamilton fandom, the Billy the Kid fandom, the Elvis/ Queen/ Greta Van Fleet/ other bands and singers fandoms, (especially the k pop fandom. I pray you survive if you do.) etc etc. basically, just ignore this if you don't wanna see it. have a good day (:

⌯ pairing: tom blyth / fem!reader

⌯ warnings: mentions of alcohol, consumption of alcohol, mentions of smoking, reader smokes but it isn't explicitly described (can be an ignored detail), eventual smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (please protect yourself with strangers), oral sex (f receiving), nipple play, cum eating, fluff if you squint

⌯ word count: 3454

⌯ summary: at your friend's christmas party, you meet tom blyth and there's a strong connection off the bat. after a little too much to drink and a night spent talking, the two of you have an intimate christmas eve together. (based on those nights by bastille.)

⌯ author’s note: I've been so busy that I haven't been able to finish this until today lol and it took ages because I kept getting distracted ((: anyway!! merry christmas and happy hanukkah, I hope everyone enjoys this (: if you don't pls keep it to yourself

divider credit: @arminsumi | @eloquentreverie | @cafekitsune ⌯ masterlist ⌯ taglist form

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ.

You’re nursing a glass of half-sipped champagne, trying your best to pay attention to what your friend is saying to you through the pounding music. Being social with them is the least you can do, considering this is their holiday party you’re attending. And they’ve supplied the alcohol that you’ve helped yourself to all night. This is one reason why you can’t focus very well, but there’s another reason, too. You swear you feel eyes from somewhere in the apartment searing into the back of your head. At first, it wasn’t a big deal. But now it’s almost as if you’re scared to move in case someone is watching. Still listening to your friend, you realize you’re unable to look around to find the source. So you push away the sensation the best you can for now. A mutual friend waves at you from across the room where the makeshift bar is. Downing the rest of your champagne, you bid the friend you’re conversing with a quick goodbye for the time being. Hurrying to your friend who beckoned you over, you look at them with a raised brow when their face scrunches up into a giddy smile.

“Why do you look like that?” you ask, carefully eyeballing them.

Your friend chuckles at you, leaning into your ear, “There’s a hot guy back there who has been eyeing you for quite some time.”

Your face contorts into realization. So that’s why you’ve been feeling eyes burning into you. You hesitantly turn around, hoping you aren’t too blatantly obvious in finding who is staring. However, at this point in the night, you aren’t entirely graceful by any means. Your eyes catch onto a brunette man almost immediately, like you’re drawn to one another somehow. The man glances down at his drink before letting his eyes shoot back up to yours, his determined gaze sending goosebumps across your skin. Your friend has been too busy making you a drink to notice the tension but still manages to switch out your empty glass with a full one despite your daze.

“I’ll be right back,” you say just loud enough for your friend to hear over the song blaring through the speakers.

With the alcohol burning in your system, the atmosphere of the apartment seems otherworldly. It’s a fairly glitzy party, so you’re dressed for the occasion. Your outfit highlights your best features, allowing you to have an air of confidence. A kind of confidence you don’t usually carry. The alcohol certainly helps with that. The shimmery lighting bouncing off the walls gives off an ethereal vibe to the apartment. The dim glimmer of the room casts the shadow of the brunette man’s eyelashes onto his cheekbones. The closer you get, the more you notice about him. His aquiline nose, the contour of facial hair on his face, the tasteful and subtle golden hoop in his left ear. You see a small smile stretch across his lips as you approach him.

“I am so sorry if I’m coming off as creepy,” he shouts over the music, laughing to himself, “I promise I don’t mean to. You’re just really attractive.”

You take a moment to let your eyes take in his form as discreetly as possible, noticing his towering height and lean physique. Now that you’re close enough to properly see his face, you note that his eyes shine a hauntingly beautiful shade of icy blue. He takes a moment to study your face as well, waiting with bated breath for your response.

“That means a lot coming from someone who is also attractive. And I thought I felt someone staring,” you jokingly smile at him around a sip of your drink.

“Sorry about that,” the man rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I just never know how to approach without being awkward.”

Butterflies flutter in your stomach at the heavy weight of the brunette’s eyes on yours, your drink burning away any nervousness that had previously lingered.

“I get it,” you match his smile that has yet to wipe off his face, “I’m not the type to come up to someone I find cute. But…” you trail off, taking in the man’s attractiveness, “There’s something about you I can’t put my finger on.”

“Well,” he chuckles at you, bringing his glass to his lips before hesitating, “You’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Oh really?’ you raise your eyebrows, a playful tinge to your voice, “How’s that?”

“Do you smoke?” the man asks.

“Only when I’m drinking,” you chide.

The two of you weave around the other party-goers toward the fire escape, and you snatch the bottle of something from your friend’s hand while passing the bar on the way out. After clambering from the window behind the tall man, who effortlessly climbed out, you take his outstretched hand. Planting your feet on the landing, you watch as the man fishes out a pack of cigarettes and a pack of matches from his back pocket. He looks up at you expectantly, patting the spot on the metal grating next to him.

“I don’t bite,” he jokes, “Not hard, anyway.”

You bite back a snort but sit down anyway. You take a swig of the clear liquid in the bottle you took before offering it to the man with a sour face. He’s in the process of lighting up, the cigarette hanging between his lips casually as he holds a lit match to the end. You watch him do this, and something stirs inside you. He takes a drag before handing the cigarette to you and taking the bottle from your hand.

“You smoke a lot?” you ask him before taking a drag of your own, your eyes not leaving him.

He shrugs, “I picked it up while in college. It’s a bad habit I go back to sometimes.”

“I see,” you say, “I forgot to ask, but what’s your name?”

“Tom,” the brunette says, the cigarette dangling from his lips as he offers a free hand for you to shake. You gently take it.

Despite the chill of the night, Tom’s hand is warm against yours. You both hesitate to pull away, but a shy chuckle shared between the two of you causes a natural break of grip. You continue to smoke and pass the bottle to and from each other, talking about this year’s notable events in your lives. You speak for a while before more personal details begin spilling. Like how much you hate your job and how Tom missed his co-stars from his last project. Or how you both hate being single during the holidays. The more alcohol that’s consumed, the more you discuss your lives. It’s only been an hour or two, but it feels like you’ve known each other forever.

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you. Tom looks over at you, admiring how your cigarette looked so natural in your hand. And how your hair fell perfectly around your face and how you swung your legs back and forth innocently. The corners of Tom’s lips twitch upward as he subtly moves closer to you, his thigh pressing against yours. He thinks you’re quite interesting and pretty- he doesn’t know why you’re still single when you’re such an amazing person.

You feel the roughness of his trousers against your bare thigh as you finish your final cigarette. You swish the remaining contents of the bottle around, deciding that your blurry peripheral vision means it is time to stop drinking. When you turn to offer Tom the rest of the alcohol, he’s facing you already, mere inches away. Your breath hitches as his eyes look into yours. They drop to your lips, and despite your intoxication, you feel giddy in your stomach.

“Can I,” Tom whispers, lifting a hand to your cheek, “Can I kiss you?”

You sit the bottle down on the other side of where you’re sitting, a drunken smile growing on your face, “Of course you can.”

Tom leans in, pressing his lips to yours gently. You inhale sharply through your nose at the intense feeling of electricity between the two of you. You can taste the alcohol on him when you run your tongue across his bottom lip, testing just how far he wants to go. Your hand reaches up and cards through his dark hair, bringing him as close as possible as the kiss becomes more passionate. Tom’s free hand grasps your hip, his thumb digging deeper into your skin the harder you kiss him. Your head swims as he peppers his lips along your jawline and under your ear.

“We should probably go inside,” you pull away reluctantly, but even in your stupor, you don’t want to get carried away and fall off the fire escape.

You struggle to push up the cracked open window, and Tom giggles at you as he effortlessly pushes it open for you. Both of you climb through, and your friend shakes their head at you when your feet land firmly on the floor.

“I had wondered where you ran off to,” they chuckle, “I see you’ve met my friend Tom.”

“Uh, yeah,” you smile, looking up at him as he stands beside you.

Your friend looks closely at the two of you, noticing your bitten lips and Tom’s flushed face, “Now that the party has dwindled down, you guys can chill upstairs where it’s quiet. I have a book collection you two would enjoy.”

“Gotcha,” you nod as they walk away to mingle with other partygoers.

Looking around, you notice the remainder of the gathering is in other parts of the apartment, leaving the living room and upstairs unoccupied. Tom grabs your hand, pulling you away from the kitchen to the hallway leading to the stairs. You pull him into another kiss, Tom giggling at your eagerness as he sways slightly. He walks you backward until you feel your back against the nearby wall. Neither of you would do this on a typical day, but the energy between both of you is so intense. Your hands move underneath his shirt, your cold palms making contact with his warm skin. Tom gasps into the kiss at the contact, and you scoff, pulling away from him and grabbing his hand to drag him up the stairs.

“Careful,” Tom says to you as your legs wobble. Meanwhile, he’s struggling to climb them as well.

After a few minutes of tussling and laughing, the two of you finally reach the second floor.

“So about that book collection,” Tom raises an eyebrow, catching his breath as he grabs you by the hips, bringing you close to him.

“Only if you really want to,” you look up at him, both your and his eyes glazed over.

“I do,” Tom runs his hands along your sides, his gaze heavy on you, “Lead the way.”

You walk ahead of him, pulling him into the guest bedroom, where the books do happen to be stored in a giant bookcase along the wall. String lights around the ceiling give a soft golden glow to the room as you approach the mass of books. Tom closes the door softly as he enters the room, walking up behind you as you trace the spine of one of your favorite books. Tom wraps his arms around you, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck gingerly. You melt into his chest, closing your eyes as he travels down your shoulder. Your dress has an exposed back, and Tom is taking advantage of it as Tom falls to one knee and continues kissing down your body. He delicately unties the silk ribbon holding the two sides of your dress together, pausing before allowing it to fall to the floor.

“Let me know if you want me to stop,” Tom says.

You turn around and walk to the bed, allowing your dress to fall behind you. Sitting down, you motion for Tom to come over to you. His eyes scan your face, avoiding your intricate and deep-colored underwear as he stands up. Tom stands between your slightly parted legs, and you move your hands to the lapels of his black blazer, pushing them open. He discards it from his arms and to the floor before pulling his t-shirt over his head. You try not to ogle at his perfect body, but your hands wander anyway. Up his abdomen and across his chest until you reach his neck, where you pull him down for a heated kiss. Tom lightly pushes you onto the bed, and you move to the pile of pillows to rest your head. He climbs over you, caging you underneath him. Before you can react, Tom pulls your legs up around his waist as he rests his body on yours. His lips hover over yours, his darkened eyes boring into yours much like they did the back of your head earlier in the evening.

“Don’t stop,” you say, crossing your ankles behind Tom’s back.

Tom attacks your neck with hot kisses and soft bites, your hand grasping the back of his head. As his body relaxes into you, his weight presses you against the bed, and you feel how hard he is. You lift your hips to lightly grind into Tom, and his soft bite into your collarbone turns harsh in reaction. He continues downward, slipping his fingers underneath the straps of your bra and sliding them down your shoulders. You arch your back so Tom has the room to unclasp the band and remove the garment from you. He wastes no time resuming his kisses on your sensitive skin, avoiding the areas you desire his kisses most. You gasp when Tom lets his hand brush against your breast, his thumb circling your nipple softly. A small moan leaves your lips, and Tom glances up at you through his lashes to gauge your reaction. He admires how your eyebrows crease momentarily in pleasure, so he circles his thumb again. You moan louder this time, craving his touch without hesitance.

“Please,” you sigh, “Don’t hold back either.”

Tom hums in response before dipping his head down and enveloping your nipple in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue teasingly. He rubs your other nipple with his thumb, simultaneously stimulating you. You whimper, heat from your still buzzed body rushing to your clit. Your hips roll in response, and you’re sure Tom can feel your dampened panties against his chest. He gives your nipple a sharp tug with his teeth before focusing on your needy core. He leaves an open-mouthed kiss on your clothed heat before removing your underwear. Still buzzed from all the alcohol earlier, Tom tries his best to be soft with you despite the pit of desire growing between you. You want him- all of him, and you want it now. And Tom wants you. Before you can speak, Tom’s warm mouth meets your folds, his tongue lapping at your arousal. You squirm from the sudden stimulation, but he stills your hips with his grip. A hand flies to Tom’s mussed-up hair as he plunges his tongue into you, his nose pressing to your clit. He inhales your scent, and it intoxicates him more than alcohol ever could. Shaking his head, Tom’s nose rubs against your clit perfectly as his tongue fucks you. Your whole body is up in flames, your fingers tightening in his hair.

You’re muttering incoherent praises as you ride Tom’s face. He replaces his tongue with two of his fingers, your relaxed wetness allowing him to slip them in easily. They scissor against your fluttering walls as Tom sucks on your bundle of nerves. Your fuzzy mind keeps you from hiding how good his mouth feels on you, and your moans grow louder. His mouth leaves your cunt abruptly before reattaching to yours, silencing you immediately.

“Gotta be quiet,” Tom huffs against your lips, “People are still downstairs, love.”

You wrap your legs around him again, grinding yourself into his still-clothed cock. He’s the one to moan this time, slipping his tongue into your mouth and letting you taste yourself. You unwrap your legs and work to unfasten Tom’s trousers, pushing them down his thighs. He kicks them off the rest of the way, along with his underwear, as he continues to kiss you. You reach down between your bodies and palm Tom’s length, to which he groans into your mouth. You guide his tip to your entrance, allowing him to comfortably push into you. Your hands grasp Tom’s shoulder blades, your nails lightly digging into his skin with every inch that enters you. You whimper in pleasure at him finally being inside you after longing for it all night. Tom bottoms out with a content sigh, also elated at the feeling of you clenching around his length after craving it for so long.

Your chests heave against one another, your forehead pressed to Tom’s. His enticing blue eyes meet yours as he slowly pulls out before slamming his hips against yours. You gasp, arching your back and letting butterflies swarm in your belly when Tom kisses the corner of your mouth. He fucks into you again, slowly building a steady pace. Your lips barely brush against Tom’s as he snaps his body into yours. Your buzz has now faded away, allowing you to feel him entirely sober. He sneaks his hand between you and presses his thumb to your clit, making you hiss at the sudden stimulation. Your head pushes against the pillows, exposing your throat. Tom lets his hand lazily wrap around it, not squeezing but instead holding it as he grazes his teeth on your skin there as he kisses your neck.

“Feel so good around me,” Tom says dazedly, and you feel his eyelashes flutter under your jaw, “So gorgeous.”

Your hand rests in his hair again, gently combing through his locks as he rocks into you faster. His weight on you, his thumb still rubbing your clit, and his hand around your neck seals the deal for you as he plows into that sweet spot inside you.

“Tom,” you moan, “I’m close.”

“Me too, baby. Me too,” he whispers into your skin, leaving soft kisses in contrast to his rough thrusts.

“You feel so good,” you mutter, your chin resting on Tom’s head.

Tom lifts your leg and places it on his shoulder, allowing him to hit a new angle inside you. You bury your face in his hair to deafen the cry that escapes you in response.

“Right there,” you pant, your hands desperately holding onto Tom’s hair as your mouth hangs open in silent pleasure.

Tom breathes heavily into your neck, using all the energy he has left to mercilessly fuck your weeping cunt. You feel your stomach tensing, alerting you of your impending orgasm. Tom chants your name as he firmly presses his thumb into your clit, causing the tightly wound knot inside you to snap undone. Your thigh clamps into the side of Tom’s neck while the other shakes against the bare skin of his sweat sheened back. The feeling of your tight pussy pulsating around him makes Tom explode inside you with a gasp. You grip Tom’s hair desperately as you milk him of everything he has, his thumb still not letting up on your clit. Another orgasm washes over you suddenly. This time it makes you convulse, your cunt gushing around Tom and dripping down your thighs as you cry out in pleasure.

“Fuck,” you gasp for air, Tom pulling out of you.

He moves down to your pussy, cleaning up the cum spilling from you with a hungry tongue. You’re so sensitive that your thighs slam into the sides of Tom’s head. He suckles your clit for a moment for good measure, making you writhe underneath him. You pathetically whimper when he pulls away, finally catching your breath. Tom returns to his previous position on top of you, his face buried in your neck. He wraps his arms around you, softly stroking your skin.

“Wow,” you giggle, letting your nose dig into Tom’s brunette hair.

“Yeah,” he smirks, “You’re amazing.”

“That’s all you, I’m afraid,” you say.

Tom hums, “I disagree, sweetheart.”

He rolls over momentarily, lifting the duvet for you to climb under. He embraces you again, holding you close as if you’ll disappear like some sort of dream. You wrap your arms around Tom’s, smiling as he presses his nose to your hair.

“I still haven’t put my finger on it,” you say after a moment of silence.

“Hmm? On what?”

“That something about you.”

“I guess you’ll have to stick around and find out, then.”

“Deal,” you chuckle, “Merry Christmas, Tom.”

“Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

taglist:

@barbaraelaine @devotedly-sassy @nowitsmissing @arzua10 @screamqueenpink

#tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x reader smut #tom blyth smut #tom blyth x you #tom blyth x you smut #floralcyanide writes #tbosas #billy the kid #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth fic #tom blyth fanfic

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writerslittlelibrary · 4 months

Text

I will help you

masterlist

summary: when your parents went to jail, you started your life in the foster system. it was never very great, and you ended up with an amount of bad coping mechanisms. to help you, you were put in a psych ward, and who happens to be your personal nurse? the woman who will stop at nothing to adopt you…

pairing: Dark!Natasha x foster teen reader

warnings: mentions of self-harm, mentions of abusive foster families, hints of kidnapping, mention of murder, mention of abuse, drugs, reader is basically not very happy…

genre: fluff, angst

words: 2884

a/n: this fic was inspired by @xanthreee thank you lovely for the suggestion and I hope you enjoy it 🫶

(please note I have no idea how psych wards work, so if anything is incorrect, I’m so sorry)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

You don’t remember much from that night. You suppose that’s how your brain protected itself from everything that happened.

You remember the sirens, and you remember the police that invaded your home. They carried guns and were dressed in full protection gear. It was scary. That’s what you do remember. The feeling you had the moment your entire life was ruined.

Sure, your father was never a great man, and sometimes he’d hit you, but he did it because he loved you. He needed to discipline you, because he cared. That’s what he told you.

You never thought he was capable of something so vile, so sickening. And you could’ve never predicted your mother helped him.

You knew your father was aggressive. You knew he had sickening thoughts, but the fact he’d murder someone, just for his own enjoyment? You would’ve never thought your father was capable of such a thing. And the fact your mother helped him hide the body? You couldn’t possible process all this information at once.

When you were put in the interrogation room at the police station, a man and a woman kept asking you questions. Had you known? Were you told to keep certain things a secret?

You hadn’t told them much. How could you? You were never allowed to tell anyone you were being hit at home. You were never allowed to tell anyone your father had some weird powder lying around.

You were only 9 when it happened, but it had made an impression on you.

The foster homes weren’t better than your home had been. At least you loved your parents, but now? These foster homes had people even more aggressive than your dad had been. They didn’t hit you to discipline you, they just did it because they felt like it.

After being in the foster system for 4 years, your mental health started to go down hill. You never really visited your parents.

You were mad at them, and you refused to let that anger slide.

After the police found a certain document, and you were called into the station to discuss it, you finally broke. That was the last straw.

The police had found plans to pay off a debt your father had with some high important drug dealer. Apparently, he had wanted to use you as payment. Had the police not found the body when they did, you would’ve surely been in a much worse place then you were now.

After learning that new piece of information, you broke. Your mind became darker than it already was, and your wrist became daily stained with fresh red blood.

You had no control over your own life. Decisions were made for you, and you were thrown around from foster home to foster home with no care in the world. You didn’t have anyone that cared about you, and you needed a relief.

Self-harming gave you back some control. After not having any control for so long, you gave yourself control over at least something, the pain.

Controlling the pain worked, until you turned fourteen, and you became suicidal on top of it.

You started skipping school and laying in bed all day. You never did anything anymore. Your days consisted out of self-harming and scrolling on tiktok.

You don’t exactly know how it happened, or when, but at some point, your foster parents had notified your case worker, and she had come to pay you a visit. Apparently, when foster children in your situation experienced mental health issues, and started showing signs of depression, you were immediately put in a mental health facility.

You didn’t really care when they came for you.

The ride in the ambulance was pretty peaceful. The man that was driving with you was very kind, and he had put up some of your favourite music to entertain you, and mostly keep you calm.

When you arrived at the psych ward, you were terrified.

You didn’t know what was going to happen, and you didn’t realise what you were supposed to do. The intake was one of the worst experiences you had ever had.

It had been embarrassing and incredibly dehumanising, and when you were given paper clothes to put in, you nearly lost it.

Luckily, after a few hours, that was over, and you were taken to your room by an old lady.

She told you shortly how everything worked, and she gave you five minutes to change into the clothes provided for you before your personal nurse would come to assist you.

Because you were classed as a high risk case, you were given a 24/7 nurse. She was supposed to keep her eye on you at all times, and make sure you never did or tried anything to harm yourself.

The moment the old nurse left, you quickly changed into the sweatshirt and sweatpants that were laid out on the bed.

They weren’t the warmest clothes you had ever worn, but they were comfortable enough, and definitely better than those paper clothes you had been forced to wear.

You changed fairly quickly, and after finishing you decided to just sit on the bed and wait.

Your entire room was empty, and you weren’t allowed to bring anything in to entertain yourself. You had brought a bag of clothing, but apparently all of that was checked by some nurses, so you were left alone with your thoughts.

You tried to open the window, but it would barely open more than a few inches.

You sighed and sat back down on the bed, staring out the window. You wished you could go home, but what did that even mean now? You had no home anymore. Your parents were gone. You weren’t going to see them in a long time, not that you wanted too, and your foster home basically got rid of you when they put you in the mental hospital.

You were truly and utterly alone…

Soon, you were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the door opening. A red-headed woman walked in. She had a kind smile on her face, and she was dressed in a nurse outfit.

“Hello, y/n. I’m Natasha. I’m here to keep my eye on you,” she explained, smiling sweetly at you. That was quite straight forward…

You simply nodded, letting your gaze fall to the floor.

Natasha took a few steps forward, crouching down to your level and placing her hand on you knee.

“I know you have been through a lot, but I promise you, I will do anything in my power to help you get better,” she explained, smiling sweetly as she gently rubbed your knee.

You simply nodded, giving her a small, awkward smile before looking back to the ground.

Natasha didn’t take any offence, instead just standing up and lending you her hand. “Your room seems kind of boring. Maybe we should go and see if we can find some colouring supplies, and we can maybe try and decorate it a little,” she suggested, and you didn’t take long before you took her hand.

She helped you up, not letting go of your hand as she walked to the door, leaving the room, dragging you along with her.

She led you through a few hallways, explaining where certain things were, and explaining how you didn’t need to do anything if you weren’t comfortable with it.

To say you were relieved would be an understatement. You had heard horror stories of people in mental hospitals, where they were forced into group therapy sessions, and if they didn’t comply they’d be punished by having to stay longer.

You were quiet as Natasha led you around, not once letting go of your hand.

After showing you the main hallway, she led you to some kind of common area, where there were tables filled with other kids.

All seemed a bit older than you by at least a few years, but they didn’t even acknowledge you as Natasha led you through the tables, to a closet by the wall. Some of the kids greeted Natasha, clearly having met her before and taking a liking to her.

When you reached the closet, Natasha let go of your hand, opening the doors and letting you see all the art supplies the closet carried.

There was yarn, crochet hooks, glue, paper, crayons, tape, and even more.

There were also pencils and scissors, but those were in locked boxes. You figured those were only taken out when there was supervision. Natasha grabbed a blank sketchbook, asking you if you wanted pencils or crayons.

You gave her your preference, and you watched as she took everything from the closet.

“Let’s go back to your room. It’s a bit calmer there,” Natasha stated, and you nodded as you anxiously glanced around the room. You were never a big fan of people, but right now, you were already freaked out, and all the people you were surrounded with didn’t help in the slightest.

Once Natasha had balanced everything in one hand, she grabbed yours again, squeezing it reassuringly as she gave you another kind smile, leading you through the tables and all the way back to your room.

Once you were back in your room, Natasha set all the supplies down on the small table, pulling a chair out and taking a seat.

You followed her example, pulling the other chair out and accepting the paper Natasha handed you. As you started drawing, Natasha started drawing too, probably to make it less awkward and confronting.

She asked you multiple questions about yourself. They varied from your favourite colour, to how you felt about your parents and their actions.

You answered most of them, and tried to answer them as honest as possible.

You liked Natasha. She made you feel safe, and she talked as if she truly cared about you. You like how she made you feel. You felt at ease around her. Besides, she told good jokes.

After finishing your drawing, Natasha hung it up for you.

You asked if her drawing could be hung next to it, and Natasha agreed as she picked her own drawing up, hanging it next to yours.

You smiled at the drawings, and Natasha smiled at you. Maybe staying in a psych ward wasn’t the worst thing ever.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You had been in the psych ward for a little over a week, and until now, you were pretty much enjoying yourself.

It was a little boring at times, and you had definitely had better things to eat in your life, but with Natasha around you almost all the time, you felt safe and cared for. You heard other people in the psych ward complain about their nurses, and about how they wanted time to themselves.

You, on the other hand, had never felt more content.

Wherever you went, Natasha was always there, helping you, talking with you, or just staying silent and keeping you company.

You had grown quite fond of Natasha, and even though you didn’t know it, Natasha had grown quite fond of you too. She didn’t even want to think about the moment you would have to leave, and she would have to pick up a new patient.

She had grown quite close to the little girl she was supposed to take care of. She cared about you, and she knew she was the only person in the world that ever would.

No one would ever care about you the way she did.

After taking care of you for only a week, she had applied at multiple adoption agencies, wanting herself and her home to be cleared for fostering and adoption. She was told the process would go fairly quickly, seeing as though she was a licensed mental health nurse.

If anyone was capable of adopting, it would be her. She just hoped the entire process was done before you go out.

You had told her multiple times how much you enjoyed spending time with her, and Natasha had always told you how much she enjoyed spending time with you as well.

She had told you what a great kid you were and how you were a very nice person to be around. You were more than grateful that she was the nurse assigned to you, and you had told her that. Natasha had merely smiled and told you how nice she though that was.

You didn’t need to know it wasn’t a coincidence…

-------------------------------------------------------------

After about two months in the psych ward, you showed massive improvement. You were almost cleared to be released, and Natasha was a bit upset.

The adoption agency had cleared her, and she was cleared to take you in.

She had already pitched the idea to you, that after were released from the psych ward, you would come live with her for a period of time.

You didn’t need to know she meant forever…

You were overjoyed with the idea of spending more time with her. You had explained to her on multiple occasions you didn’t want to get out, as you would not get to spend time with her anymore. That’s when she told you, and you had hugged her and told her how happy you were.

She simply kissed your head, holding you close as you two sat on the bed.

Natasha was a bit upset, though. In the psych ward, she got to spend every moment with you, but if you were to come live with her, you would have to go to school, and she would have to- you would have to miss her half of the day.

She didn’t want that, and so she started setting up her place in the mountains. You trusted her, and she would make sure that trust would not be broken.

-------------------------------------------------------------

When you were finally released from the psych ward, Natasha had made sure it was one of the best days of your life. There was cake, and presents, and all sorts of things you had not been given in a long time.

After that day, Natasha had told you she was planning on moving up into a cottage in the mountains.

You didn’t need to know what country she meant…

You asked her if there would be snow, and she promised you there would be. You were more than happy to pack all your stuff, excited with the idea of living somewhere peaceful.

Natasha had called in a favour with her parents, arranging a jet to take you and her to the location. You had asked her where the house was located, but she had told you not to worry about it. It would be perfect.

You fell asleep pretty quickly on the jet, which was perfect, as Natasha didn’t have to explain why you were flying over the ocean.

When you arrived, Natasha carried you inside, tucking you in the nice bed that was already prepared for you, before going back downstairs and getting all the stuff from the jet inside.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up from the sun shining through gaps in the curtains. When did you go to bed?

You stretched slightly, laying in bed for a few minutes to process waking up, before getting up and looking around the room.

The room was absolutely beautiful, and it matched your interests perfectly. It didn’t take you long to spot the two drawings on the wall. The were hung up in frames this time. It were the drawings you and Natasha had made the first day you were in the psych ward.

You smiled at the memory, soon recognising the pajamas that were hung over the desk chair.

You changed into them and left the room, finding the stairs quickly and making your way downstairs. The entire house smelled of pancakes, and it obviously was in the kitchen where you found Natasha.

“Hello sweetheart,” she greeted you as she gave you a small side hug, giving you a kiss on the head.

“How did you sleep?” she asked as she handed you a glass of orange juice.

“I slept fine,” you told her as you gave her a smile and took the orange juice, taking a few sips before sitting down at the kitchen island.

Natasha smiled at you, getting the last pancake from the pan before placing two plates on the kitchen island. She sat down on the barstool next to you, handing you the syrup as she took a bite herself.

“The house looks very nice,” you told her as you started eating your own pancakes.

“Only the best of the best for you,” Natasha told you and smiled softly at the slight blush that stained your cheeks.

“Is there a school nearby or something?” you asked her, but Natasha just shook her head.

“I figured homeschooling would fit you a lot better. There are a lot of benefits, and I think it would do wonders for your mental health,” she explained, and you nodded.

You could almost cry at how thoughtful Natasha was.

You didn’t need to know it was purely in her own best interest…

You were finally home. You were finally safe. You were finally loved. Natasha would finally be your mother, and you would finally get the chance at a normal life.

Somewhat normal…

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000

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buckyseddie · 8 months

Text

always hold you

pairings — tasm!peter parker x bff/gf!fem!reader

summary — in which, she needs her boyfriend's support more than anything else, after another particularly bad fight with her father.

word count — 2.6k.

warnings — a little bit of angst, use of pet-names [dove, sweetheart, darling, love, bug], reader calls peter pete, lots of fluff and this is basically just a hurt/comfort fic, protective/soft!peter, this is also sort of similar to my other peter fic (take as a part two that one), peter comforting reader, mentions of the reader's low self-esteem issues and it being explained a bit more, both physical and emotional abuse (manipulation and gaslighting, but not from peter), hugs and cuddles, forehead kisses, peter just taking care of the reader and showing her the love that her family refuses to do, gwen is in here for a second and being the comforting platonic best friend that she is to reader, peter comes off as a little harsh and scares reader a little bit but he makes up for it in the end.

notes — hi! so, this is really more of a vent fic. i know i've written in the past about dealing w/ a toxic family member and how i really enjoyed writing fics similar to my experiences with my favorite comfort characters to comfort the reader because that would usually help me deal with everything. but recently, the abuse that me, my mom, and my brother have been experiencing has become a lot more complicated and traumatizing for me to deal with. and things have only gotten worse. so, i figured i'd do another comforting fic like the other peter fic i wrote about going through that said abuse. i really just feel that it's important to not hide my true feelings and act like everything's fine behind a screen and i just want to be able to talk about this topic a lot more (especially in my writing), because it's so serious and not nearly talked about enough. but, nonetheless, if there's anyone out there that sees this and is a victim of abuse (whether it's emotional/mental or physical abuse, or both) please don't feel obligated to read this. i really don't want to trigger or upset anyone who's dealing with this situation in a very heavy and overwhelming way. just remember though, no matter what anyone says or does to you, you ARE strong and deserve the entire world. i love you all <3. anyways, i hope this makes up for the lack of posting anything (i've been really struggling with a lot, but i'm trying!). gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

other fic

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IT'S OBVIOUS NOW THAT SHE was stupid to think that he could change. it was even more stupid of her to go back to that apartment.

but, she's always been one to see the best in people — in her case, it's come to bite her in the ass.

even now, as she awaits her boyfriend to return home from his nightly patrol around the city, [y/n] knows that she should've known better.

she trembles as she sits on their shared bed, one of her legs bouncing anxiously — the thought of how peter will react to her foolish decision and the outcome from it is stressing her out, beyond words.

after how he responded the first time he found out about the truth about her father's cruelty and what she'd had to go through, she's worried of how he will react this time — it took almost everything in him to not confront her father, when he first found out.

she abruptly jumps when she hears the front door of the apartment shut softly.

a shaky breath leaves her lips, wondering if it's too late to try to hide the marks on her face and body.

but, when she hears him call out her name from the living room, she knows that it's too late — there's nothing she can do now to hide this.

and even if she wanted to for a split second, she promised peter she'd never lie to him again — after the last time, they promised each other that they'd never hide anything from the other again.

so, with another shaky breath, [y/n] sighs and hesitantly pulls the bedroom door open.

she keeps her head down, her hair falling around her face and covering the marks as she walks out and into the living room.

"sweetheart..." peter's voice trails off, eyes wide with shock and worry.

her breath catches in her throat as soon as she finally looks up at her boyfriend and sees the intense, protective look in his eyes.

"i—i'm sorry, peter." she whispers, voice too raspy to get any louder.

a flash of anger fills his eyes. "please... tell me that you didn't go back to him!" he exclaims in a quieter tone of voice as he pinches the corner of his eyes.

[y/n] flinches at the amount of frustration in his voice.

"peter, i—i'm sorry... " her voice trembles, guilt and regret quickly filling her — she just feels so stupid.

peter sighs, regretting taking his anger out on her.

his eyes immediately soften. "sweetheart, i'm sorry." he murmurs, before starting to walk over to her.

but, before he can reach her, she flinches and winces.

he stops short, freezing in place. more guilt fills him as he realizes that in this moment, she's scared of him.

"look... i—i know that i shouldn't have gone back," she whispers, tears clouding her eyes as she remembers the anger and hatred in her father's eyes.

peter's silent for a moment, waiting and giving her time to explain more — if she's able to.

"i'm... i'm so stupid, peter." she whispers, too ashamed to talk any louder.

peter's eyes widen in shock, not expecting that statement to come out of her mouth. "w—what? darling, that's not true."

this time, a tear falls down her cheek. "yes, i am. peter, who's stupid enough to choose to believe that their abusive, monster-of-a-father can change? me — it's me!"

the rambling and the self-loathing words coming out of his girlfriend's mouth becomes incredibly clear to peter as he walks over to her.

this time now, he doesn't hesitate to pull her into his chest as her voice becomes more trembling and wavering, "this is on me — it's my fault."

"it's okay now, love. don't blame yourself." he murmurs as she stops holding herself back and breaks into breathless sobs into his chest.

after a while, her crying slows and quiets down with her tears now dried on her cheeks.

she faces him and takes in a deep, calming breath as he wipes away the remaining tears away and looks over her bruises more intensely.

"i wanna kill him for doing this to you — again." the venom in his tone sends shivers through her spine — knowing what he would do to protect her comforts her.

but, on the other hand, she also knows that hurting her father isn't going to do anything for them or fix anything.

"no, peter. i know you don't mean that." she murmurs seriously.

an angry frown places itself over his lips. "no, i do."

she sighs. "okay, maybe you do. but, it won't fix anything and we both know that," she says, moving one of her fingers up to smooth out the crease in between his very furrowed eyebrows.

"it's okay now — i'm okay." she whispers seriously, grabbing his hand and rubbing soothing circles over his thumb.

you'd think from how she's comforting him that peter was the one that got hurt, not her — that's just how she is; she always finds herself taking care of everyone else, when she really should be taking care of herself.

maybe that's why they're such a good pair — while they're taking care of everyone else and their loved ones, they can trust the other to take care of the other.

"that's the thing, love. it's not okay! you shouldn't have to go out of your way to avoid him, just to protect yourself." he exclaims, ripping his hand out of hers and this time pacing around the living room with his hand now gripping his hair in frustration.

she sighs, frowning — this is exactly why she didn't want to tell him because she hates worrying him like this.

"it may not be fair, but if it's what i have to do to protect myself, then that's what i'll do — i should've kept doing that, instead of being an idiot to believe he'd change." she admits, shrugging, trying to play this all off, as if it's not that big of a deal.

"don't say that — don't do that!" he abruptly yells, turning around to face her defensively.

she flinches — once again — at the volume of his voice. "don't do what?" she asks meekly, her voice too soft.

he sighs in regret. "i'm sorry. i'm not trying to scare you." his eyes are downcast at the floor, before he looks up again, the guilt clear in his irises this time.

"it's okay, peter." she gulps, berating herself for some part of her being afraid of him — after all, she has no reason to fear him because he'd never intentionally hurt her.

"it's not. i shouldn't have gotten so angry — i'm not mad at you, i promise," he says in a much more quiet voice, sighing as he sees that look in her eyes — the one that she always has when she feels like a burden and feels like she should be apologizing.

"sweetheart, don't even think about apologizing. none of this is your fault."

[y/n] sighs in exasperation. "maybe it is. i'm the one that is always making a fool out of myself by believing in the best of everyone."

she sighs when a flash of irritation shows in his eyes. "what?" he whispers, his eyebrows furrowing together.

she takes in another breath when he walks over to her and hesitantly places his hands over her cheeks.

[y/n] sighs again.

"this isn't your fault, love. know that," he murmurs, his eyes searching hers for some kind of understanding. "please, tell me that you know that."

she sighs again, noticing the tears filling his eyes — it becomes incredibly clear to her how much the man in front of her cares about her.

"peter... " her own eyes fill with tears, even spilling to her cheeks.

without another thought, he gently wipes away her tears. "promise me that you understand me."

she sighs again. "y—yes, i understand," she murmurs, hating the hope that fills his eyes. "but, i just don't believe it."

he opens his mouth to object, but she interrupts him before he has the chance to say something, "i want to. but, i can't just shut off the way i feel — i was raised the way i was and with the trauma i have gotten along the way, i can't just forget it."

more tears fills his eyes, before he moves incredibly closer to her and brings her close to kiss her forehead. "knowing you want to believe it is good enough for me."

when he pulls away from her he smiles warmly at her. "let's go cuddle now, yeah?"

the softness in his voice makes her smile. "sounds like a plan, pete." she murmurs with a nod and leads him to their shared room.

once they're inside of their bedroom, [y/n] walks over to their shared bathroom, to change into her set of pajamas she set aside earlier in the day, after she had just gotten back from her father's home — she used to call it her home, but that all changed once her once-very-close relationship with her father changed.

after she changes and brushes her hair and teeth, she takes in a deep breath and tries to mentally prepare herself for the rest of the night.

but, when she shuts off the light and opens the door, she comes to realize that the bedroom is empty.

she walks out of the bathroom and looks around, her eyebrows quickly knitting together in confusion.

and just as she's about to call out her boyfriend's name, she hears hushed voices outside of the room.

with much more confusion filling her body, she slowly walks out of their room and into the living room, only to see peter standing at the door, talking at the door in a hushed voice.

"pete? is everything okay?" she asks as she walks up from behind him.

he jumps a little in surprise, before motioning towards the door.

the blond hair of their current guest surprises her.

"oh, gwen. hi." she greets her best friend and then her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning into him with her chin resting on his shoulder.

"what are you doing here?"

gwen shrugs. "i just wanted to check up on you — your dad called me, yelling at me because he thought that you'd left to go hide at my apartment."

the words that come out of one of her best friends' mouth shakes [y/n] to her very core — anytime she hears anything about her father, she gets easily nervous and scared.

in a matter of seconds, [y/n] slowly pulls away from her boyfriend's body.

she knows that she should try to pretend everything's fine and as if her friend's words don't affect her, but she can't help it.

if she had a few more seconds, she'd probably fall into a state of mind where she'd completely shut down.

but, when a light touch to her shoulder by peter shakes her out of her daze, she sighs and nervously finds her boyfriend's eyes on her.

"what's going on, guys? did something happen?" gwen asks worriedly after seeing the tense look on [y/n]'s face.

peter doesn't speak. he doesn't even look away from his girlfriend — his eyes simply say that the decision is all hers.

despite the fact that him and gwen are pretty close friends, he's always respected [y/n]'s choices.

with a sigh, [y/n] turns to gwen. "i kind of had a run in with my dad earlier."

as she hears that statement, gwen begins to notice the bruises on her best friend's face.

she frowns. "are you okay?" she asks, but after a moment, she groans and rolls her eyes at herself.

"i'm sorry. that was insensitive — of course you're not okay."

[y/n] laughs, despite the seriousness of the situation. "it's okay."

gwen gives her a pointed look, not believing for one moment that what she asked was okay.

"really, gwen," she says, finding some courage inside of her. "i'm probably not okay. but... " she trails off, suddenly feeling like everything is going to be okay with the ones that truly love her by her side.

"for the first time, i think i'm going to be okay — that everything will be okay." she says confidently, moving even closer to peter and practically burying herself into his arms.

gwen smiles. "good. i'm glad."

—————

AFTER A LITTLE BIT MORE of talking, they all finally say their goodbyes and peter shuts the door gently.

they move over to the couch, peter covering them — mostly [y/n] — with one of the fuzzy throw blankets that was lying over the front of the couch.

"you doing okay?" he asks softly as she lays her face into his neck.

she smiles, feeling reassured for the first time.

she lifts her head back up to look at him.

"i know going back was stupid. i do—" before she can continue, he interrupts her with guilt evident in his brown eyes. —"i'm sorry, bug. for how angry i got earlier."

she tilts her head in confusion. "what do you mean?"

"i shouldn't have gotten upset with you. and i'm sorry for startling you. i was just worried." he murmurs seriously, frowning at her confusion.

"i just... every time i think about your dad being near you or hurting you, well, it drives me crazy, sweetheart." he says, trying to ignore the anger in his voice every time he thinks about the type of person his girlfriend's father is.

"pete... it's okay. i'm not going to go back — i learned my lesson." she says, cupping his jaw with one hand, in order to try to calm him down.

he sighs, leaning into her hand and covering it with one of his own.

"that's the point, sweetheart. you shouldn't have to be cautious and scared to avoid him, so that he doesn't act like that. it's not okay."

she frowns, wishing that she could stop him from worrying.

but, she also knows that he needs to get these feelings out and off of his chest.

"tell me, peter. what is it?" she asks, being the understanding girlfriend that he loves — no matter how cliche that actually sounds.

"i love how good-hearted you are, sweetheart. the way you always see the good in everyone, despite what they've done to you — it's amazing," he starts, pulling her hand away from his jaw to hold over one of his legs.

"and i never want you to stop being that person. but, i also hate that you have to avoid him. you shouldn't have to give up your happiness and peace."

she nods in clear understanding.

he groans again, leaning his forehead over hers.

"it's okay, peter."

he pulls away and opens his mouth to say something in defense, but she stops him by speaking before him, "peter, i know it upsets you that he doesn't get to be punished for his actions and i get that."

he stops short, giving her a chance to finish talking.

"i know you hate that. but, i know that you love me more than any urge that you have to give him what he deserves — and that's what i need you to do, okay? love me more than you hate him." he frowns at her words.

as if noticing his hesitation, she says, "for me. please?"

he sighs in defeat and nods. "fine. for you." he murmurs as he pulls her closer into his embrace and body.

she smiles in victory as she lies her head on his shoulder. "i love you, peter parker. you know that?" she murmurs, cuddling up close to him.

"i know i can always count on you." she says, once more, smiling as he chuckles and stretches over to kiss her on the forehead.

"good. because i love you more and i'll always hold you when you need it, dove." he murmurs, smiling at her calm and at peaceful face.

and like that, they cuddle until they fall asleep with peaceful expressions on their faces.

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demaparbat-hp · 2 months

Note

Hello. I wanted to say that I really like your art style, especially how you do Katara's face. That's awesome.

But every time I read the description of your AUs, it gives me the creeps. You once said you try to stay true to Katara's character, but... your AUs are like "what if I take one of her major character traits and throw it in a trash bin?".

Halfblood AU: no connection to her culture that basically defies everything Katara thinks and feels about her waterbending.

Helping the Fire Nation AU: no hope for the avatar that Katara expressed in the intro of every episode of the original show.

And lowkey less kindness. She's cautious and bitter and wants to help only Zuko.

She seems like a completely different character. Not Katara at all.

Zuko too. I doubt he'll be in the White Lotus, it's not in his character at all. He may use the help of the members, but the original ("The Desert") tells us he will not be one of them, it's just not his style.

You make zutara look shallow, like you think that Zuko and Katara as they are in the show would never work together. As a person who sees appeal in this ship I feel very uneasy seeing your interpretations.

And my god, why do you hate Hakoda so much? Every time you add anything to halfbloodAU he looks more and more disgusting. I cannot believe mister "you and your brother are my entire world" would do what you are saying. And a married man with a child cannot be so naive to think that a woman won't become pregnant after having sex with him. Hakoda would've returned and checked and tried to help.

Sorry. I wish I could enjoy your art, but you're making it so hard.

Hello, and thank you for writing. I'm glad that you enjoy my art, at least to some extent, and I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable with my AUs. However, I find myself in the need of defending them.

Creating AUs is something I take seriously, and one of the core traits of an AU is that it's, inherently, a different world. I can change virtually anything, and that's okay. Haven't we all read a fic and thought, this character wouldn't react like this in canon, but went along with it anyway? Because we know this isn't supposed to be canon. These characters are living in a different context, and react to things differently.

Canon exists for a reason. An AU does, too. They're different concepts and must be treated accordingly. It's a matter of context.

But we're talking about characters, aren't we?

You've pointed out that I've changed Zuko and Hakoda, too. And you're right. I've found that people online are more... defensive of Katara when compared to other characters. And while that may not be important to this specific discussion, I do find it rather curious. It's something to think about.

Anyways, I change characters. And I've gotta confess, I'm not ashamed of it.

My Katara is still Katara, and my Zuko is still Zuko. I'm just playing with how I believe they would react in different scenarios, and with different backgrounds (that's important, too).

You mentioned that my AUs are like "what if I take one of [Katara's] major character traits and throw it in a trash bin?". And I'm sorry that they give you the creeps, truly.

But maybe I want to explore how being a product of two different cultures affects not only Katara, but also Zuko as characters. Halfblood gives me the opportunity to address these sociocultural issues through their personal experiences, and I find that kind of narrative awfully compelling.

And maybe I wanted to change one core trait of Katara's personality and see how that affected both her journey and the general plot. Hunters is a writing experiment, and it has taught me a lot about human nature. Thanks to what you so kindly call "throwing a character trait in a trash bin", I've gained a lot more respect for who Katara is in canon. If anything, I consider Hunters!Katara as a foil for Canon!Katara.

And I don't hate Hakoda. I have a lot of respect for him as a leader and a father. I think he's a great character and role model for others within the ATLA universe. Bashing characters for fun isn't really my thing. The choices I made for Hakoda in the HalfBlood AU (and Aang in Hunters) are a matter of narrative and plot building, not my opinion on his character.

Just think about how different that AU would be if Hakoda made better choices, if he didn't have a wife and a son waiting for him at the South, or if Katara's father was a random Earth Kingdom villager. About 60% of the conflict in the story would disappear. And I could build that conflict with other stuff, I admit it. I could use different plot points or make the characters do other things or give Katara One Big Happy Family.

But it would change the core themes of the story I want to tell.

It's important to me that Katara is a product of two different cultures. It's important that she has no father figure in her life. It's important that Hakoda, who is a great leader and a great man and a great husband and a great father for Sokka, made a huge mistake in his youth that has been weighting on him ever since. It's important that Sokka is suddenly faced with the realization that his father, his idolized role model, is human and has also royally fucked up.

I want to talk about these things.

But I'm able to recognize that they're heavy subjects and, really, most of us are just here for the fluff anyway. So I'm sorry if I've made anyone uncomfortable. I won't hold it against you if you don't like what I do or just ignore whatever lore I set up for my AUs.

This is fiction, this is freedom, and this is the way I express myself. We all do it differently, and that's part of the beauty.

#dema answers #zutara #atla #hunters au #halfblood au #zutara au #avatar the last airbender

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versegm · 7 months

Text

What the fuck is up with Mashmorgan

Someone on neocities asked me to explain the appeal of Mashmorgan in a single concise post. Well I did it lads you've got your single post. It's also 1500 words long but that's not my problem. A lot of it is stuff I've already said in scattered posts/fics, so if you follow me this will not be any news for you, but if you ever need to redirect someone to an explanation of this ship you can direct them to this post. Also fair warning this will be incomprehensible without knowledge of lb6. This is by design.

Anyways. Enjoy.

The most basic shit about Mashmorgan is: Mash and Morgan spent a long time together. So long that Mash starts considering herself a part of the Fairy Calendar over the Queen's calendar (see: Totrot having to remind her "you're not the only one who remained, you're the one who is going home! You were never meant to be here in the first place.") Furthermore, Mash and Tonelico didn't just hang out. They were good fucking friends! Tonelico trusted Mash enough to tell her that Tonelico is, in fact, a ball of rage and ressentment wrapped in a savior skin (which is a big deal considering Tonelico lies to Fucking Everyone about her true feelings on things.) It's important to note that the ONLY time Morgan ever smiles during the entire lostbelt is with Mash ("Sure! We did our best, didn't we?" while sending Mash home.)

Speaking of, the fact that Tonelico sent Mash back in the present at all is very telling of Tonelico's feelings for Mash. The excuse she gives Totrot is "well I wanna recruit Mash later," but that's very obviously bull; Tonelico's last conversation with Mash makes it very clear that Tonelico expects them to be enemies later on. Besides, how can you recruit someone you know for a fact you won't remember? Morgan has zero reasons to send Mash back to her own time. She knows she's shooting herself in the foot by doing that. She KNOWS that Mash will turn out to be an enemy. But she's sending Mash back anyways. Because it's the right thing to do? Because it wouldn't be fair otherwise, and Morgan values fairness above all? Because Tonelico failed to save Uther, but she could still help one friend on this bitch of an earth? You tell me.

Now that's our basis to read Mash and Tonelico as exes, or people who pined for one another, or just very close besties, whatever you want. Which means we've now a wonderfully tragic romance (or friendship if that's your thing, but I feel like romance makes it tasties) of two people who do love each other but cannot stand by the same side because of widely differing ideals. Adding to that the dramatic irony of Mash and Morgan never knowing each other at the same time- Tonelico knows who Mash is, Mash doesn't know who Tonelico is. Mash knows who Morgan is, Morgan doesn't know who Mash is.

Mash still holds Tonelico's memory close to her heart- Tonelico (the summonable one) has a line mentioning that though she has no idea who Mash is, Mash keeps looking at her with sadness. Furthermore, while Morgan changed a lot from her Tonelico days, Mash still knows the woman pretty well- when asked if she's willing to fight, she responds "well yeah I know the gal she won't give up without a fight."

Obviously, Morgan doesn't remember Mash. But she still holds the knight in high regards; in the Fairy Cup event, she mentions that "oh lol you guys had Mash with you no wonder you guys turned out fine." Additionally, when you barge in her throne room early lb6.2 to ask her about Mash, Morgan does not remember that name, but she does react to the description of Fairy Knight Galahad. She doesn't remember Mash, but even without her memories something still echoes in her about it.

So that's all our canon basis to go wild. What are the roads we can explore with this ship then?

For Tonelico/Mash, there is obviously a "doomed romance" angle. Whether they're lovers who can't go anywhere, or people pining unwilling to start something at all, the fact is: this romance is doomed, and they both know it. They're from different worlds and times. Mash going home implies Tonelico's failure. This love cannot change anything, but it mattered that it was here.

For Mash/Morgan in lb6, there's the "lovers to enemies" angle. As I said before, they're clearly both still fond of each other on some level. But that's not enough. They both stand on either side of that war, because they each want to protect different things. The agony! The pain! Delicious. Of course, the most tragic part of this is that Mash didn't even get to kill Morgan herself. All of this, and they never got the catharsis of battle at the end. (I should add that I'm a firm believer of the inherent eroticism of homicide.)

Less obvious, but an aspect of their dynamic that I find really interesting is that... Mash is someone who is constantly asked by various nonhuman people for understanding. Goetia, the Lion King, Beryl, all asked Mash to understand their pov and goals. Because Mash, as a homunculus, fundamentally stands at the edge between human and nonhuman. She's legitimately these people's best shot at being understood. But through this pattern, Morgan is noticeably the one person who never asks for understanding. She explains herself, but that's it. What she does ask of Mash, however, is to find a good reason to fight Morgan. Cuz Tonelico just endured 3000 years of the most senseless and brutal violence- she’s just fresh out witnessing her attempt to save Britain being destroyed on a whim. The only thing Tonelico asks is for their fight to actually have meaning for once. Don’t face me just because I’m mildly inconvenient to you. Face me because you are striving for your own star. That, I will respect, and should you succeed in defeating me- I will be fine with that. (Also because Morgan long gave up on being understood, so she's not even trying with Mash, which is why I think it fucks that despite Morgan being a fucking brick wall, Mash still manages to know this girl better than most.)

Post-lb6, on Mash's side, this ship is a case of "this girl I used to love changed a fuckton, but also She's Still Here." On Morgan's side it's "I do not know who you are, but my body does remember you and it's fucking weird." And both these things are haunted by the ghost of "Oh christ we fucking killed each other. We can never go back to who we used to be. How do we build a new relationship after All This Shit? What if she forgives me? What if she doesn't?"

Additionally. Morgan is someone who fundamentally believes herself to be evil. That's why she's always like "ohh I'm a wretched witch I do this because I'm selfish teehee." It's a Sakura behavior, she's rationalizing the bad shit happening to her as "well I was evil anyways so I deserve it." Veering into headcanon territory now, but I think Morgan would see Mash as her total opposite, someone who embodies the good in this world- she's fucking fairy knight Galahad, the purest of the round table. So it's also cool to explore Morgan thinking she's unlovable struggling to understand why Mash would be interested in her. Possibly worried about corrupting Mash too, historically things have never turned out well for people close to Morgan.

Ok this is all my thoughts that have actual canon ground. Now back to making shit up. I think Mash should get to be fucking deranged about Morgan. Mash has lost MANY people since the beginning of the story, but that trauma is shared with Guda. Morgan's however is her trauma and hers alone she ain't got no one to relate. I think it would be a great way to showcase her character development, from someone who struggled to understand Mozart's "yeah humans suck but that's why I love them!" to someone who can be incredibly Not Fucking Normal in her grief. AND that means you get neat Beryl parallels as well. Mash sees her own behavior as something reminiscent of Beryl's, and feeling SO bad about it, but what is she supposed to do? She's lost so much so fucking much can't she just have something to hold onto for once? Something more tangible than a memory? Anyways I think Mash should get to mishandle Morgan's corpse SO fucking bad.

Anyways. Say whatever about lb6, but Morgan did successfully save one thing in Fairy Britain. She did successfully save Fairy Knight Galahad.

#mahsmorgan

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inniessick · 1 year

Text

Do You Still Love Me? / Yang Jeongin

pairing: non idol!yang jeongin x fem reader

word count: 5.1k (im so sorry)

warnings: angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of break up, lowkey mean!jeongin but not the entire fic, SMUT! soft/hard dom!yang jeongin, sub!reader, mention of alcohol (once), dumbifaction, no verbal consent but everything was fully consensual, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (do not do that), begging, fingering, being manhandled? (wrists pinned above head, face being grabbed), dacryphilia, crying in general, degradtion, praise, overstimulation, size kink (maybe kinda, just being safe), pet names/names (baby, doll, princess, good girl, darling, my love/love, honey // bitch, slut, whore), orgasm delay?, hickeys/lovebites, marking in general, hair pulling, kissing, showering together??, let me know if i missed any!

likes, reblogs and feedback appreciated! :3 ♡

smut below the cut, don't press keep reading if you don't want to see that.

to think you'd end up here.. alone with him, it had only been a week since you last saw jeongin. and about 6 months since you broke up. it was messy, and clean. the entire situation made so much sense and none at all.

it had been nearly perfect for 3 years. you had been friends for 2 years before you even started dating. you and jeongin met in your junior year of college. he had a reputation around him, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. you became best friends, basically attached at the hip, always together no matter where you were. "y/n and jeongin" "jeongin and y/n". absolutely nobody was surprised when you both started dating. you had always been naive, but jeongin realized he liked you very early on, too afraid to actually ask you out because he valued you so much. eventually, after a bit of liquid courage he had the balls to ask to be your boyfriend. the funniest part? you were going to confess your feelings to him the same night! your new years resolution was to be more upfront with your feelings, and you labeled that your first attempt, of course he beat you to it but you still told him how much you really liked him. a win is a win. jeongin knew you had only ever been in small relationships, never meaning a whole lot, and he wanted to change that for you. he went out of his way to make you smile at least once a day. he succeeded.

he was your first for almost everything, and he prided himself on that. everything he did, he did with meaning, he payed so much attention to you. he was the best boyfriend you could've asked for, of course you two fought, but it was rare and never a screaming match. it was civil. but then things got ugly after he went on a vacation to see his mom for 2 weeks. he came home so upset, and unintentionally took it out on you. called you clingy stupid incompetent. followed all of that up with, "why can't you leave me alone?" "do i need to help you with everything?" you tried to talk to him and ask him what was wrong, he didn't budge. you tried everything, being affectionate, leaving him alone, talking to his friends, you even tried to call his mom. nothing worked and you started to give up, you thought he hated you. eventually you told him you were moving out, he had no reaction. you took it as sign that it was over and done with.

of course you tried to move on but you couldn't. no matter what you did, you thought of jeongin. everything you did was a reminder that you had lived with him through seriously important years of your life. you couldn't shower without thinking about how he washed your hair. couldn't wear your clothes because he either got you most of them, or you got them when you were with him. your favorite meals were his favorite too. anything that was “yours”, was his. you didn't blame him, its not his fault that you two worked so well together. worked, past tense. you constantly had to remind yourself he wasn't yours anymore but no matter what you did it was always him.

you were baffled when he sent you a text one night, shortly after breaking up, asking to meet up. you took him up on the offer but rather than talking it led to you both drinking just a little bit too much and ending up in bed together. and that's how it's been for the last 4 months.

isn't it funny? sometimes you get lucky and they think you're someone else. you figured he didn't care that it was you, he just wanted to fuck. but here you are regardless. you thought you'd finally end things once and for all, but then you got a call from him. were you stupid? you shouldn't have answered his call at all. how can you blame him for your inability to end it? i mean, you picked up the phone after all.

it was 1am, you were nowhere near ready to sleep, you were thinking about how to approach him. speak of the devil as they say, right?

“hey.. y/n.. are you up?”

“yea innie, im up.” there you go again, thinking without speaking. the nickname too? cmon.

you could hear his staggered breathing, “come over? please? really need you.”

your heart was beating so hard you would've thought it was going to burst out of your chest. you knew exactly what he was implying. “mkay innie... ill come over” why would you say no? at least he wants you for something right? you heard him sigh, “thanks doll, you know how much you mean to me.” you gulped, trying so desperately to breathe but you couldn't, his words taking all the air from your lungs. you opted to just hang up the phone instead of responding.

somehow you made it out to your car, no recollection of getting dressed or grabbing your keys. but you were back to reality now, and all you could think was “should I really go and see him?” your hands gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles began to blanch. hadn't he made it clear weeks ago? you were just a quick fuck and a half decent friend, always so pretty for him, not enough to make him think about a relationship though. and yet, you started the car anyways, you drove over to his place, it used to be yours too. the drive couldn't have gone any slower, yet you were pulling into the parking lot before you knew it. walking up to his door, knowing you had one more shot to turn around and end it there, you grabbed the spare key from under the little garden gnome you'd gotten him a year ago, and you unlocked the door. you idiot. then you walked into his apartment, and made your way to his room. are you serious right now? and of course there he was waiting for you. only one thought in your head, god he's so pretty..

“’m so glad you're here, baby.” jeongin wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you towards him before connecting his lips to your neck and kissing all the spots he knew you loved. of course he knew them, he knew you better than you knew yourself.

“mhm.. I know innie.." you murmured while looking to the side, unintentionally giving him more access to the crook of your neck, before throwing your keys on the chair in the corner of his room.

you felt him pull away, only to come back once he had led you to his bed. towering over you, a small smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss your neck. he began running his hands down your torso before slipping them under your shirt to grab at your chest. his hands moving so gently over your skin, yet slow, achingly slow. jeongin slotted his knee between your thighs, the slightest bit of pressure being put against your core. a shaky breath and a whimper gave him all the confirmation he needed. peppering kisses along your jawline before meeting your lips. it was aggressive, tongue pushing it's way into your mouth, spit across your lips, all while he was touching and grabbing at your skin. your skin felt on fire, you needed some sort of release. how had he got you so worked up while doing so little? how did he still have this much control over you? you pulled at his hair, moved yourself against his knee just enough to satisfy the urge for some kind of friction.

"innie please.. need it so bad." you'd think you just entered another mans bed with how gently he began taking off your shirt, it all felt so slow, he was teasing you, testing to see how much he could get out of you. “innie, hurry please. don't wan’ wait anymore.” you were whining, begging for him to stop teasing you and just give you what you wanted, no, needed. “alright, honey, shh.. cmon lift your hips a little so I can take these off of you too.” he pulled at the top of your shorts, and you lifted your hips up allowing him to pull your shorts and panties off in one swift motion.

grabbing your hips before moving his hands down your legs. gently rubbing his hands on your thighs before bringing them back up and reaching your clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure, trying to get you to moan his name just the way he wanted. throwing your head back, and arching your back, “ahh- innie.. jeongin oh my god.” he gently kissed your thighs offering slight squeezes, almost like he was afraid to grab you too hard. “that's it princess, same my name again, tell innie what you want.” “wan’... want your fingers, please innie please.” “alright love, ill give you whatever you want.” right.. ‘whatever you want’, you were too caught up in the feeling of his fingers near your core to actually feel upset about what he was saying.

but it didn't stop you from thinking about his actions. how was he able to hold you like you were made of glass? touch you so lightly, it felt like his fingers were just ghosting over you. he made sure to place you down gently, to tell you such sweet things.. how could such things come from a mouth as vile as his?

you and jeongin weren't always like this, it was good at one point. you a real relationship. he really truly loved you, yet somewhere within the years, he stopped. he couldn't tell you why, he didn't know, or maybe you didn't care to ever ask in the first place. endless miscommunication. he may not love you, but at least in some way he still cared about you, even if it was late into the night and only if he could touch you in whatever way he pleased. you loved him still, and you weren't ready to give up yet. how else could you make him stay?

his fingers made their way to your entrance, slick built up from his teasing. “always so pretty and wet for me. just for innie, yea?" you nodded while grabbing at his hair, lightly tugging. “yesyes always for you, just for you, jeonginnie. pleasepleaseplease.” you weren't quite sure what you were begging for anymore, you knew he would fuck you so why beg? did you want him to love you? kiss you and hold you? your thoughts becoming scrambled as he slowly pushed 2 fingers into you, slowly pulling them out then pushing them back in, curling them right at that sweet spot. you closed your eyes, unable to handle all the pleasure he was giving you. his fingers reached places yours simply couldn't.

he kissed his way up your torso before getting right to your collarbone and stopping, his hand never moving away from your core. “princess, you still here?” he put his finger under your chin nudging your head up. you were still moaning, clenching around his fingers, trying to think of a response as he quickened the pace. “yes, just wanna cum innie.. p- please.” you whimpered, “alright love, you got me, im here. cum for me baby, come on.” he went back down, this time finally connecting his mouth with your clit. humming slightly when you let out a higher pitched moan. small kitten licks as he kept fucking you with his fingers, coaxing an orgasm out of you, just as you had asked him. before you knew it you were coming undone on his fingers. moaning, pulling at his hair, incoherent words spilling for your lips as he helped you ride your high out. finally pulling himself away from you, lips slightly wet from your juices, your legs still shaking as he softly rubbed circles on your thighs.

“you still okay doll?” “mhm.. want more, need you jeongin.” your hand on his clothed chest, pulling at his shirt, a silent request for him to take it off. he seemed to understand what you wanted, retreating from the bed to rid himself of his clothing. you stared at him as he stripped, it almost felt like he was giving you a small show. it didn't matter how many times this happened, you never got over how big his dick actually was. seeing him always made you nervous, how is it gonna fit? even though he makes it fit every single time. he got back onto the bed, towering on top of your small frame again, giving you a few kisses before he lined himself up with your entrance, pushing in slowly, his soft hand caressing your cheek. you were whimpering, tossing your head from side to side, and grabbing at his biceps, “innie too much too much canttakeanymore..” your speech was slurred, “you can do it doll, take me so well every time.” you knew he had to have been only half way in, but you felt so full, it felt like he was splitting you apart. “still so tight after I fucked you with my fingers... so cute, always asking me for more.” he whispered close to your ear, it sent a shiver down your spine. he kissed your face gently as he continued to push himself deeper into you before finally bottoming out. tossing his head back and groaning every time you clenched down on him, “see princess? took it all j-just for me.” your breathing was rigid, trying to get used to his size. your fingers gripping harder onto his arm, whining “why are you so big? its too much.” “its okay baby, take your time, you can do it.” “j.. jeongin move, please move.”

he connected his lips with yours, the kiss was hot and sloppy. he moved his hands down to grab your hips, slowly building up speed. each thrust causing you to whimper and moan into his mouth. he pulled away from your lips only to reconnect himself to your jaw and move down to your neck while letting out strings of curses, softly biting your neck every time he felt you clamp down. he had completely littered your neck and chest with red and purple hickeys, even after everything was done you'd still be reminded of him, that ultimately, you were still his. “fuck.. so tight for me... always so fucking good." he moaned as you moved your hands under his arms and clawed at his back, not only was he picking up his pace but he was going harder, each thrust making his tip kiss your cervix. “fuck innie.. ahh.. right there please, moremoremore” “more what princess? talk to me.” he fucked into you faster, he wanted to fuck you dumb, make it hard for you to say anything to him. “shit.. harder please.. god, jeongin, please harder!”

its like something in him snapped at that moment, pulling away from you and grabbing your wrists before putting them above your head and holding them there. “why do you keep begging? are you that much of a greedy slut for me?” he looked down at you, so small beneath him. such a tiny little thing, all his, only for him to use. “mm! yes innie, I am!” “do you want me to fuck you dumb? make you feel so good you can't think?” “yesyesyes please! wan’ be good for you.” you kept babbling nonsense and moaning to the point where you couldn't even think a proper thought. he had reached his goal. “who fucks you this good, y/n? who makes you scream like this?” you were trying so hard to form a response, really you were! yet you failed, unable to register the things he was saying. it didn't help that he kept snapping his hips into yours and hitting the one spot that made you see stars. he stilled his hips, grabbing your cheeks with one hand and making your face form a pout. “answer me, who fucks you this good?” “you, jeongin! only you fuck me like this! please dont want you to stop.” you moved your hips while whining, “atta girl.” he was back to assaulting that sweet spot, fucking into you at a rapid, unwavering pace. you couldn't stop moaning, almost like you had no control over yourself anymore. all you could think about was jeongin and how good he felt. in the midst of everything, your mouth hung open just slightly, drool falling onto your lips, tears threatening to spill from your half lidded eyes. “awwhh, poor little baby crying because that can't take what they asked for? didn't you say harder, love? isn't this what you wanted?” he was taunting you, he knew exactly what he was doing. tears fell from your eyes and you kept nodding and babbling, completely fucked out while your legs trembled, “’s too much innie, too much, c-cant take it!” “getting fucked so good you're crying now? are you that much of a whore for my dick?” you cried harder, sobbed for him, begging him to not stop, while going on and on about it being too much, before you knew it you were begging him to let you cum too.

“in... fuck- innie.. wan’ cum for you, please need to.. love you so much.. please need to cum,” the pace he was going at was cruel, and so precise, every thrust hitting right where it needed to. “I'm nowhere near finished with you and you're already gonna cum? are you that much of cock hungry bitch?” “yesyesyes love you so much, i love you! jeonginnie! please let me cum! need to cum,” “come on then, wanna feel you cum on my cock.” and with that he was kissing you as you moaned and trembled in his grasp, he gently released your wrists and slowed down, fucking you through your orgasm. “that's my good girl,” it almost sounded as though he put an emphasis on the word, making it known that you were his.

you dont know why, but you used all the strength you had left to wrap your legs around his waist as you grabbed his face, “keep going please... want you to cum in me innie.. need to feel you.” you pulled his face back down and kissed him, you felt his hips stutter slightly before he put one of his hands behind your neck and the other holding on to your hip so hard you knew it'd leave a mark in the morning. he deepened the kiss, it was full of passion, tender yet sloppy, so hot you thought it would burn you. you tangled your fingers in his hair and held onto him. he had slowed down a lot, only pulling out halfway before sinking back into your warm cunt. you weren't screaming his name anymore nor moaning so loud that he would be gettin noise complaint, rather it felt almost too intimate, small moans and a couple swears. sweet nothings “love you so much, want to kiss you innie, keep going please” and him reciprocating, “feel so good around me, never want to let you go, you're perfect... love you.” the last two words made your chest begin to feet tight, almost like you couldn't breathe and you screwed your eyes shut. he was too caught up in the moment, right? surely he didn't mean to say that. his thrusts became sloppy and jeongin started breathing heavier, “cmon baby, cum for me, please.” you whispered into his ear, tugging on his hair a bit, you heard a small “mhm” come from him as he kissed all around your neck, you swore you even felt him smile against it every time you said his name. a familiar knot in your tummy formed. with a few harsh thrusts from him he was filling you up, as you unraveled around him while mumbling about how much you loved him.

you both laid their for a moment, catching your breath and just holding onto each other. after a few minutes he leaned up slightly, wiping the tears off your cheek, but these weren't from earlier. “y/n, why are you crying?” and you snapped back to reality. of course he was just saying all of that because of the sex, why else would he be that sweet to you? he hadn't said your name like that in awhile, it sounded too cold. you felt your heart break just a bit, your short-lived dream being ripped right from your hands.

he was holding himself just enough above you to not be laying on top of you, and you missed how close he felt to you, you understood the intimacy was over. he rubbed your cheek, “why are you crying? was I too rough? did I hurt you?” he pushed himself off of you and took in everything. your chest had hickeys all over it, neck covered in bite marks, hip starting to bruise from his ruthless grip, lips bitten and red, hair disheveled, he felt horrible, did he really hurt you? well no, not in that way at least.

you had no clue why you couldn't stop crying, offering him a small smile as tears kept falling from your eyes, “no jeongin.. it was great. you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't hurt me, I wanted you to be rough, promise. I just... I missed that.” you saw his jaw tense, “what do you mean..? the sex? we do that all the time..” you turned your head to the side trying to avoiding his gaze. he quickly, yet gently, grabbed your jaw and made you look at him, you were his, and he had full control of you. “no.. missed you.. holding me and talking to me like that.” “y/n- baby... im sorry, you know it can't be that way anymore.” “I kn- I still love you.. dont know what to do with myself.” you cut yourself off. if not now, when? didn't he deserve to know you felt? did he not remember saying he loved you too? were you really just a tool for him to use? certainly that wouldn't be horrible, right? at least he would keep you around. it left you thinking, when had jeongin ever said something he didn't mean at least a little bit, though? some truth had to be hidden in his statement.

he ran his hand through your hair, “let's get you cleaned up and then we can talk about this, okay?” you stared at him, like a dear in the headlights, “talk about it..?” “mhm baby, we can talk about it. cmere let me walk you to the bathroom, clean you up.” you simply nodded, at a total loss for words. was this his form of a cruel joke?

he started a warm shower and got you both in. holding you against his chest, you could hear his heart beating, it was so steady. it was silent for awhile, only small sniffles coming from you. he held you, letting the warm water run over you and ease your muscles.

"turn around so i can wash your hair, darling." “mkay..” his fingers massaged your scalp slowing working his way around your head before rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. he helped you wash your body. making sure to gently go over each area, small apologies after he touched every mark. “dont apologize.. like it when you mark me like that..” he only hummed in response. you knew he loved doing it to you, too. as he finished rinsing the bubbles off your body, he reached for the shampoo, and just before he could pick the bottle back up, you grabbed it, "innie, can i wash your hair too?" you sounded so enthusiastic, like it was something you had been waiting to do. that stupid smile of his, he let out a small laugh. "of course you can wash my hair." you smiled back at him, placing a small kiss on his cheek. he put his head down so you could wash his hair completely, you started to wash his body for him, you took this opportunity to take the full view of him in. only a few marks left from your mouth on him, his back had scratch marks all the way down, you stifled a giggle when you saw. it felt so natural.. normal again, but things like that are too good to be true aren't they? you turned the water off and got towels for each other. you stared at him as he dried his hair, "your hair got long again.." you said lowly, you hadn't noticed it until now. you hadn't been this close to him for a long time, "i haven't had the time to cut it yet.." you hummed in response before drying yourself off. "i like when you grow it out.." you thought you had said it softly enough that he hadn't heard, but you were met with him saying, "i know" before holding your head to his chest for a moment.

"let me go get us some clothes- are you okay wearing mine? i don't have any of yours here.." "yea jeonginnie, your clothes are just fine." something in you was glad that you hadn't asked to keep a spare change of clothes here, but you shouldn't be happy, you shouldn't have hope that this will work out again... but god do you want it to.

walking back into the bathroom, he handed you a shirt you used to wear to bed all the time, "i remember this one, you got it from Chan during new years right?" "Mhm, same time when i asked you.. sorry." he stopped himself, the grin on his face falling, he looked upset with himself for bringing up the memory of when you two first got together. granted, you never forgot, you think about it all the time. shaking your head, you put on his clothes and walked back into the bedroom.

there was a long pause, where you both just looked at each other trying to figure out what to say, "so...” you looked around the room, trying to break the silence but jeongin quickly spoke, “you still love me?” your eyes widened again, you hadn't expected that. "you kept saying it when we were.."

you stopped him, “you said it too...” he looked at you and nodded, acknowledging that he had reciprocated the words. so he said it on purpose... “of course I still love you jeongin.. why else would I keep coming back?”

he held your hand in his as he looked down.. “but I said some really horrible things to you y/n, I just let you leave, and then i only called you for things like this.." “mhm.. I didn't want to lose you completely.. needed to find a way to stay with you.” “princess.. im so sorry.”

you shook your head and pulled your hand away, “dont apologize, that means you're gonna leave.” panic rising in your chest, “baby.. im apologizing because I dont want to leave. I want to be around you, you don't know how much i still love you.” just as quickly as the anxiety came, it left.

you could feel your eyes getting watery again, you didn't know you had any tears left to spare. but for him you always did, you had everything to give him, you just needed him to let you. “do you really want me innie...? do you want a relationship outside of sleeping with me? im too clingy and I can't do stuff right..” he knew you were referring to the things he had told you, it pained him, chewing on his bottom lip to fight off the tears he knew would spill at any moment. god, how he regretted hurting you. he never meant to, he couldn't stand seeing you upset because of him. “love... im so sorry I told you things like that i.. i dont know why i did.” he grabbed your cheeks and looked into your eyes, “I didn't mean it. you're not too clingy, I want to be glued to your side every second of the day. I never want you to leave my arms. I want to be around you more than anything else. and.. and you're not incompetent my love, you do so much right, im the one who messed up. of course I want a relationship with you y/n, I didn't know you still wanted me after everything that happened.” was he always this dumb? of course you still wanted him. you put your face into his chest, trying to say something but you couldn't. the only words that would come out were sorry, and love you. he knew you couldn't put it into words just yet. he held onto you so tightly, but it wasn't close enough. you needed to be closer, you needed to crawl into his ribcage and make a home next to his heart. but you already resided there. you were always there, he loved you more than anything and deep down you knew that. thats only fair right? he had made a home inside of you, an endless garden that flourished through every limb, every cell within you, constantly growing, begging for you to never uproot it, and of course you wouldn't. when he had abandoned the garden, that is your heart, you continued to water it, show it love, in hopes that one day he'd come back and stay there. maybe this was what you were waiting for. you loved him more than bees love flowers, more than the stars love the moon, more than life itself.

jeongin held you in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “love you innie..” “I love you too... baby im sorry I didn't try to fix this sooner.” there was a pause in his speech, but you didn't doubt that he truly meant what he was saying. “we can fix it now, right?” you looked up at him, pleading, silently begging him to tell you ‘we can fix this’. “if you'll let me, ill do everything to prove im a better man now. I dont want to live without you like this anymore. I cant tell you how much I love you.” “I dont want you to tell me you love me, jeongin. just show me. show me that you love me like I love you.” you pulled away and kissed him for the nth time tonight, but it felt different. it felt loving, there was no lust, just a kiss between two people who loved each other. a kiss that signified a promise, a promise to keep trying, to show each other endless love. a kiss shared to say things neither of them could.

a/n: PLEASE I REREAD THIS SO MANY TIMES IF THERES AN ERROR IM SORRY? HOW DID I MISS IT?? you can thank tv girl for this fic because the whole inspo was from "her and her friend". i literally couldn't stop writing, it felt never ending. may be a bit disorganized, but i tried really hard to make it as fluid as possible. i hope the ending didn't feel rushed either? i thought i closed it off pretty well. that being said, please give me feedback on what you liked/didnt! i will take it into consideration when writing my next piece! my requests are open!

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case-of-traxits · 7 months

Text

WRO Reeve + Heartbreak

One who wears the crown, bears the crown.

For @here-be-ninjas | From a discussion on this post.

So I've been sitting on this for a few days now in my drafts. I kept trying to type it up as a reply on that fic, but the fact is... I just have too many feels and it kept getting way too long and I didn't want to slam out like, three half-thought out things. So here, I've done my best to outline some things that are going on for WRO that break my heart.

I have no idea if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but this is what you're getting.

Also, please excuse the gratuitous use of gifs, but like, I'm just delighting in the fact that when I search "Reeve Tuesti" in the gifs thing, I GET SOMETHING OMG.

(That wasn't true pre-Remake really. But thankfully, people are slowly realizing he's super handsome. So it's a win for me!)

Time to put my metal on Whose blood to spill? I don't know whose side I'm on. Two armies are coming at me. Their flags and weapons look the same. One tells the truth; the other's lying. And they're both calling my name.

-- "How Villains Are Made," by Madalen Duke

Canon Explanation

So at the beginning of Final Fantasy VII, we have three massive disasters occur in Midgar, all over the course of three days: Reactor 1 is bombed, Reactor 5 is bombed, and Sector Seven is dropped. It is certainly canon that all of these events deeply affected Reeve emotionally (if you want to see a video comparing Reeve's reaction to the Plate Drop plan, you can see that here).

Now, I don't think it's fanon to extrapolate that at the end of FF7, Reeve has lost basically everything.

Canonically, he's had to deal with the following:

The loss of Reactor 1.

The loss of Reactor 5.

The dropping of Sector Seven.

Tseng is nearly killed (how close Reeve is to Tseng is up for debate).

Cait Sith the First dies (as a sub-note on this one, not only does Cait Sith die, but the very thing that he dies for, to prevent Sephiroth from getting the Black Materia? Is immediately voided because Cloud hands it over to Sephiroth).

Aerith dies (how close Reeve is to Aerith is also up for debate).

Diamond WEAPON attacks Midgar, which is, of course, full of innocent civilians.

Reeve is dragged away to be imprisoned during this attack because he refuses to go along with Scarlet and Heidegger.

At some point, Reeve is freed (although, that's not important enough apparently to get a mention in the OG) and he organizes the evacuation of Midgar, which has to be evacuated through, canonically, a single train line and a single highway that wrap around the central pillar.

He shuts down all of the reactors in Midgar. I'll have to see if I can find a canon source for when, exactly, this happens; it happens sometime between when he is freed and when Edge is started, and I think there's mention somewhere that it's before the Lifestream surge that stops Meteor. However, per On the Way to a Smile, Episode: Barret, all mako reactors across the entire world have been shut down as of "several months after [Meteorfall]."

A few days after this evacuation process is started, his mother is killed when the Lifestream surges up to stop Meteor.

If he'd had any hope whatsoever of salvaging Midgar, or returning people to the city after the Meteor crisis, that's shot down after the Lifestream surge. So now he has a city full of people who refused to leave prior to Meteorfall, another city (Kalm) full of people who did evacuate, and no power for any of them. Again, you can see On the Way to a Smile, Episode: Barret if you want a little peek as to what some of the pre-Mako tech looked like. Spoiler? It isn't pretty. I'm talking coal-powered trucks kind of not pretty. This is a world without gasoline as tech. Mako literally powers everything, and they're now rationing what was left in the reactors. With that in mind, it's really no wonder that the WRO is militaristic.

As someone who has worked at an electric company (I want to add "canonically," but I mean IRL. XD), let me tell you, people without power? They are panicky. But okay, that's not addressed canonically, so let's disregard that side note.

Instead, let's just focus on everything else.

He's lost literally everything that he has clearly dedicated himself to: Midgar, his parents, one of his robot cats, and his entire livelihood. And suddenly, he's the only one with anything even resembling the experience necessary to run the world. The last standing member of the Shinra Board, and effectively, he's taken Rufus' place as the de-facto world leader.

And all of this starts on 12/9/07 and ends "the last third" of 01/08, according to the Crisis Core Ultimania Timeline.

So... all of that. In six-ish weeks.

And this is true before we even touch on the expanded canon and my headcanons regarding Reeve Tuesti.

You reach the battle lines Racing inside your mind A question for all time, is it you? So gravity defy And storm the darkest night Is it you? Is it you who will save us?

-- "Who Will Save Us," by Tommee Profitt

Expanded Canon and Headcanon Time!

Expanded Canon: The Inspire Thing

So. Cait Sith. Beloved fuzzy son.

First, let's look at Reeve's profile from the 10th Anniversary Ultimania:

The head of the Urban Development Department. Involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning, he watches over the town’s development like that of a child. By utilizing his special ability, “Inspire”, he is able to cause inorganic things to emit life; his “child”, the “cat”-shaped robot, Cait Sith can be controlled from a great distance. After Meteorfall, he became the director of the World Regenesis Organization (WRO), which is devoted to the purpose of restoring life to the planet.

So this is interesting for a lot of reasons, but there's two very important things that this profile does for us:

One, it clearly states that Reeve has been "involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning," and he "watches over the town's development like that of a child." So... That's a great character note and a problem, but let's put a pin in that and we'll discuss the problem part of that in the next section. So the thing you need to actually note there is that Reeve loves Midgar. Like a child.

And two, it defines Reeve's surprisingly controversial "Inspire" ability. I say surprisingly because here's the general breakdown. Reeve has literally always had this ability, but people will sometimes discount it because it's not "mentioned" in any of the games. And that isn't... wrong, exactly. Reeve is never, at any point in any of the games, 'outed' as an Inspire. However, let's look at the Ultimanias over the years:

Now, I wish I had links to all of these pages for you, but the simple fact is, I don't. I could probably get links to all of them, given enough time, but I'm still rebuilding my compiled FF7 References Google Drive folder. When I get everything in there, I'll post a link.

The point I want to make with this is that it isn't something new. This is not some detail they retconned in to make things work. They've literally always implied it in game. There's a few metas floating around periodically that talk about Reeve and Cait Sith, and maybe one day I'll sit down and write up my own, but I want to be able to link to certain things like the Before Crisis scripts and such, because there's evidence in there to prove that Cait Sith is not just a 'robot'. He's a plush cat, yes. He's an animatronic, yes. But he's also an individual.

Canonically, in the original game, he feels pain when he trips and falls in the Temple of the Ancients on his way to die. He begs Cloud and AVALANCHE not to forget him, even if another Cait Sith shows up. He reminds them all that there's only one him. (And then of course, they promptly forget him. T_T)

In Before Crisis, Reeve gives the player Turk a controller to use with Cait Sith, but Cait Sith has 'thought' dialogue in the game that cannot be attributed to Reeve.

In Dirge, you see Cait Sith and Reeve together at several points, and they always move fairly in sync, but there's no indication of a controller in Reeve's hand at any point. And okay, that could be because Dirge was really bad about character models. We never did, after all, get a pregnant Lucrecia model in that game. ... Or in any other game, for that matter. But that's a different problem.

The fact is, at no point is Reeve ever shown using a controller. How he controls Cait Sith is subtle enough that he can control Cait Sith actively during a board meeting that he lets AVALANCHE listen in on during the original game. That's the board meeting where Scarlet and Heidegger propose loading up the failed rocket in Rocket Town with materia and launching it into Meteor in an attempt to stop it. And none of the other directors (or Rufus, who is canonically aware of Cait Sith and Reeve's control of him) notice. So I don't think it's actually a stretch of canon to assume that Reeve doesn't have a visible means of controlling Cait Sith.

Which means... yes. It's magic. Some kind of mental connection to Cait Sith. And let's just... digest that for a second.

Imagine a mental connection to something you love like a child.

And you send it to be crushed to death in an attempt to stop Sephiroth from obtaining a materia that he will use to destroy the world.

And immediately after you've done this, you have to get the next version of that child to the same place, to the same group of people, who have already lost the materia you entrusted them with.

(And, as an aside, you were just using this second version of that child to rescue a dying coworker that, your own personal closeness aside, your good friend is very close to. Because Before Crisis makes it very clear that Reeve and Veld are close in some fashion. It's a little ambiguous about their exact relationship, but they're close enough that Reeve risks everything to help the Turks because he's sure they're helping Veld who is on the run from Shinra at that point.)

Now, all of this to say... Why am I rambling about Reeve's Inspire ability and Cait Sith? Well...

Headcanon: The Inspire Thing

My personal headcanon is that Reeve, with long enough exposure to anything inorganic (i.e., his car or reactors) can inadvertently form a bond with it. Even grant it a sort of ... half-life. Now, admittedly, this is entirely fanon. I make no arguments that there is any sort of canonical support for the Inspire abilities working with this way.

But the fact is... it's odd, isn't it, that the reactors are under Urban Development? Why aren't they under Science?

(And yes, that is canon. It's in the original game that reactor control is under Urban Dev-- Reeve Tuesti-- not Science.)

So this is something I play with, that Reeve is some kind of brilliant engineer, constantly tweaking the reactors, adjusting them to maximize every drop of mako energy as efficiently as possible. And in my headcanon, he manages that in part by directly interfacing with the reactors.

Which uh... makes blowing them up emotionally problematic for him. How emotionally problematic? Well, @ladykf-writes wrote me some amazing ficlets that feature my headcanons about this after much rambling with her about them. So I highly recommend checking those out if you're interested in this idea.

So, basically, in addition to the list up there? You could add that my particular Reeve is also suffering from some serious emotional turmoil regarding the "deaths" of Reactors 1 and 5 as well as Cait Sith the First. Those aren't just moments of, "oh it's tragic these people died," or "oh shoot, I lost one of my robots," for him.

He literally lived through their deaths.

Now. Let's move on from my headcanons regarding this ability and let's talk about Reeve's problem.

Broken pieces of a barely breathing story Where there once was love Now there's only me and the lonely Dancing slowly in an empty room Can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again

-- "The Lonely," by Christina Perri. In particular with this song, the "you" that I imagine it being focused on is Midgar, not a person.

Reeve's Timeline Shenanigans

All right, back to Reeve's profile from the 10th Anniversary Ultimania:

Involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning, he watches over the town’s development like that of a child.

And from the Final Fantasy VII Complete Dismantled True Story (which while "official" is not necessary "canon" per the development team):

A capable engineer closely involved in the design and construction of the two-tiered city of Midgar and its eight mako reactors.

Now, unfortunately, Reeve's profile doesn't often get translated in other ultimanias-- or at least, not in places I've been able to find-- so we're kind of stuck with just these two interpretations of this side of him. Still, it's pretty clear, right? He was involved in the construction of Midgar from the beginning. Even in the Dismantled True Story version, he's closely involved in the design and construction.

It also mentions that he's 35 (like Barret) in the original game. Since the game takes place in 0007, we can say pretty confidently that he was born in '72; same year as Barret, for those who don't trust my math.

Now, let's look at Midgar's timeline, shall we?

From the 10th Anniversary Timeline:

[ μ ] – εуλ 9/23/1959 (48 years before FFVII) · Shin-Ra Works (later the Shin-Ra Company) discovers mako energy [ μ ] – εуλ 1/9/1968 · Construction begins in Nibelheim on the first in a series of power generation facilities, “mako reactors” for the purpose of extracting mako. [ μ ] – εуλ 6/24/1976 · Construction of the mako city, Midgar, begins. The Shin-Ra company relocates its headquarters to Midgar.

... Interesting. Okay. What about other timelines? Well, let's look at the Crisis Core Ultimania's Timeline:

[ μ ] – εуλ 9/23/1959 · Shin-Ra Works (later the Shin-Ra Company) discovers mako energy. [ μ ] – εуλ 6/24/1976 · Construction of the mako city, Midgar, begins. The Shin-Ra company relocates its headquarters to Midgar.

Now, this does change a bit in the Remake Ultimania's Timeline, from what I understand. They push Midgar's construction date back to 1969, per the FFVII Timeline, which for the record I like because they source all their dates wherever possible. However, I haven't really dug into the Remake stuff yet because it's my understanding that the Remake is the Compilation in a blender, so just because something is true in the Remake doesn't make it true in other aspects of canon (for example, they adjusted the ages of Rufus and the Turks, to make Rufus clearly older/same age as them, whereas he was always younger in the original canon).

Anyway, the issue with this timeline is this: Reeve's four when they start building Midgar. How involved is he in this construction project?

Now, over the years, I've seen a few interesting takes on how to handle this.

One, people just completely disregard it. Which, fair. It's an ultimania canon note, not something from in-game, but I always find it interesting when people say, disregard these dates but are happy to accept say, dates regarding the Nibelheim project as gospel from the same sources. But hey, I cherry pick canon too, so who am I to complain, right?

Two, people go with the architect of Midgar being another R. Tuesti (probably Reeve's father is the most common headcanon), and over the years, his work has been conflated with Reeve's own until people just forget that Reeve himself couldn't have been the one to do it.

Now, my personal headcanon-- which I am absolutely detailing because you asked me about why WRO Reeve breaks my heart, and I swear all of this is tied into that original question-- is that Reeve's father was the original engineer who developed the Nibelheim reactor. He was also slated to be the lead engineer on managing the complicated network of the eight (nine, technically, at least during construction, but who's counting?) reactors in Midgar. Except when Reeve was about five, he died in an accident. Probably in a reactor, let's be honest.

And when the Turks (and because it's my headcanon and I can, the Turks in question are Veld and Vincent) are sent to pick up Papa Tuesti's notes from his widow so that the other engineers can try to make sense of them, they discover that the five-year-old can decipher his father's unlabeled diagrams. So they take the boy with them to the Shinra Manor in Junon where the President pays to have him formally educated and put to work deciphering these diagrams and notes to ensure that the Midgar project goes as planned.

Of course, being brought up to be this engineer means that Reeve has access to basically the best level of education possible. So yes, he's deciphering his father's notes, but very quickly, he's improving them. And that, my friends, is why he ends up as Head of Urban Development. Because the simple fact is, he's been brought up for this, raised and trained to President Shinra's exact specifications of what he wants in a city.

Now, once again, all of that is just my personal headcanon, and I can't even cite some of my old sources because I just cannot find them anymore. So take this or leave it, it's where I sit on it.

That also means that he was brought up in the same house as (although almost certainly very separated from) Rufus. There's a ten year difference between them, of course, so it wasn't like they were close, but there's certainly room for some... understanding between them. If anyone understands how the President was (who canonically was extremely abusive towards Rufus per On the Way to a Smile: Case of Shinra).

Now, how does all of this tie into WRO Reeve breaking my heart?

Well, per my headcanon, Midgar is literally his life's work. It's his father's legacy and it is the city he has poured his entire life into, and it's gone. At the end of the original game, it's gone, and he has to look at her dead carcass on the horizon every time he is in Edge.

He was fashioned into the engineer who builds cities and lives and fantasies-- the floating city, remember?-- and he was desperately just trying to survive the President's reign of terror under the hope that Rufus would be better (I can't find a copy of the source quote in Before Crisis, but it's mentioned on his Ultimania profile). And suddenly...

It's all gone.

I am the son And the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son and heir Of nothing in particular

-- "How Soon Is Now," by the Smiths, but the AG cover.

So. If you've made it through all of this, I just. I have a lot of feels about Reeve Tuesti in general, and in particular, in what state he's probably in after Meteorfall. I guess this is what happens when you've been writing him for 20-some-odd years. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The long and short of it is this: Reeve is an incredibly underrated character, and he's so often sadly overlooked by fandom, and he just... he's been through so much by the time he's head of the WRO. I can't help but think that he's got to be so worn down by it all. It's hard, saving the world, especially in a position like he's in.

He is, after all, the only man in the world who betrayed Shinra twice and lived.

But he's also the man who built the world's largest, most complicated city, and he's a man who has survived losing everything.

And what did he do the next morning?

He went to work.

You wanna take a drink of that promise land You gotta wipe the dirt off of your hands Careful son, you got dreamer's plans But it gets hard to stand Soldier keep on marchin' on Head down 'til the work is done Waiting on that morning sun Soldier keep on marchin' on

-- "Soldier," by Tommee Profitt

#Reeve Tuesti #FF7 #Final fantasy vii #I have so many feels about Reeve guys #I just #SO MANY #I hope someone enjoys this #I've been working on it for DAYS

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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

Text

Attention TADC fans!

I'm officially opening requests for characters! Below the cut will be my base list of rules in regards to requesting and that sort of thing!

To everyone who followed me for creepypasta, do not fret! Creepypasta is still this blogs default and I'm not going to stop writing it for the forseeable future, I will still be responding to creepypasta based asked in the meantime

oh also, im adding this right before i post this but i do have fluff alphabet requests open for creepypasta, but to my TADC fans, how do you guys feel about the possibility of me reposting that list and letting you guys ask for it? im still kinda itching to do alphabet stuff... let me know ! ill probably do it anyways but i want yalls input!

without further delay:

RULES:

please do not spam requests, i know it will be hard to enforce this on my end since i want to keep anon enabled since i know it can be intimidating to ask for stuff non-anonymously

since the main cast + caine only totals to 7 characters i will allow people to request the entire cast in any given request, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that the more characters the shorter their list of hcs will be

please do not pester me to answer your request, i will very likely answer your initial ask. consistent breaking of this boundary will result in warning, and if further boundary breaking takes place, the request will be terminated

^SHOULD NOTE! sometimes tumblr eats the requests you guys send in so simply asking if your request made it through is 100% totally fine!! I'm specifically talking about people who try to pressure me to answer sooner, I want to make that clear because I do not want to discourage anyone from reaching out about that sort of thing

Reader is GN by default, you can request a specific gender but know it likely wont be important due to my writing style

WILL WRITE:

SFW, angst, comfort, hcs, short imagines and scenarios!

As mentioned I will do all characters, asides Bubble since I don't think there's much that can be done for them

Poly, LGBT, readers with disabilities and/or disorders (will let it be known here that i am in no way well versed in every disability/disorder, however i will attempt to do basic research for the request)

I am also comfortable with writing platonic requests and found family dynamics! I am not limiting myself and you guys to romantic stuff!

reader abstracting, while this may seem contradictory to some of the things in my will not write segment I have written about grief and loss before and I don't think it fully fits the category of what I won't write + death in general, so it shall get a pass

really there isnt much i will turn down that comes to mind, if something is breaching a line or making me uncomfortable i will let you know

reader inserts, ocs, and the like are all welcome here! im not too confident with oc x character stuff due to the simple fact that i fear i may interpret your oc wrong but i am still willing to try!

WILL NOT WRITE:

general problematic stuff is an immediate no

^so like, straight up abuse and abuse adjacent topics since as far as Im aware all the characters in TADC are adults (if I have that wrong please please correct me!!)

i am also iffy on yandere requests, this one is more on a case by case basis so please be sure to specify the intensity of it, since that will really be a make or break for whether or not if the request is accepted

NSFW, this blog is for the most part SFW. I occasionally vague certain aspects, however nothing is ever explicit. That's how far I'm willing to go with these things and I want to keep it that way

Full fledged fanfics; a lot of my scenarios/imagines tend to border on that just on a much shorter scale and in a slightly different format, but I am not totally confident in my ability to write proper fics :(

no graphic depictions of gore or self harm, and i ask that you keep that out of my inbox in general. topics like SH are allowed, however covering requests for the act of it as its happening is an automatic no (IE if you ask me to walk in on a character walking in during an act of self harm), the same applies to suicide

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

i have a nasty habit of not proofreading my stuff, so grammar and spelling mistakes are bound to happen unfortunately. this tends to be a worse issue when im posting on mobile (which i am doing less and less since i like typing on a keyboard more)

^ on top of that i struggle with writing, english is my first language but i have a hard time getting stuff out right on top of having dyslexia so please be patient

i typically tend to respond to requests fairly fast, typically within a day or two, though i do have some periods where it may take longer. (possible) same day delivery YAHOO!!

back to a forewarning, i have a habit of rambling and adding additional ideas and concepts into a request though for the most part i think i remain on topic (that just means you get a little extra content for your request ueueue)

#tadc imagine #tadc x reader #pomni x reader #caine x reader #kinger x reader #ragatha x reader #gangle x reader #zooble x reader #jax x reader

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mega-ringsandthings-world · 5 months

Note

This could be a totally crack pot theory and you may bap me on the nose and point in another direction if so but..

Is the reason the Marines and World Government are so dogged about getting Shanks because he's part Celestial Dragon? I mean, he can totally be something else; our lord and savior, Oda sensei, has yet to say it’s gospel. But are the Celestial Dragons trying to bring this wild card back into the fold? I mean, he is also Roger's chosen to take the mantle of the Straw Hat, so that might be why. But they could also be like, "Oh good, former mentor out of the way now, come home now," or something? Could be a mix of both? Like, bring the baby Celestial Dragon back into the fold but also have this possible problem in the future under control.

Or maybe they want him to denounce his former captain use him as a propaganda piece. Like look Rodger stole an entire child and kept him as a slave on his ship. As the former Rodger pirates and Buggy see him slowly deteriorating threw the paper— You know Peata and Johanna hunger games type of situation—and God that would break Shanks.

Idk could be absolutely off base. I’m just shooting into shit into wind and hoping I hit something.

As you mentioned in the last question I sent, I’m very intrigued to see Mihawk break under these circumstances. I feel like it will be a very interesting character study. We don’t have a lot of that with his character in fic mostly, I think, because he's so solid in his older incarnation that it just seems almost out of character for him to fall apart. But younger and less settled, still haven’t reached the highest heights or lowest lows... It will still definitely be a challenge but not improbable. After you're done with this AU, I might write something about canon Mihawk meeting this version of himself- or canon Shanks meeting his version, that won’t end horribly. Especially since these two would be trauma-bonded and practically crawling into each other's skin type of close. While canon characters would have the luxury of non-vulnerability and emotional stability.

Also would you like art? Because I can make art? No promise it’ll be good but I feel like this au deserves some art!

One thing about me is that I love a good crackpot theory, lol. Give me a rabbit hole and I'll never come out. So, that could be! It is very, very compelling for Shanks to be a CD. And one of the big reasons why marines want Shanks is because he's basically the son/successor of Roger, in this AU they are taking the crackdown on Roger's line/crew/associates to the extreme. Shanks is the perfect target, because he's the successor/plus he's young, emotionally attached to Roger, and was at the heart of the Roger pirates' doings. All these things the marines intend to exploit for their own purposes. And they've been gathering intel on Shanks for a while, too. Propaganda purposes? YES. Also, all the pirates they've captured in Loguetown either know who Shanks is, or they find out due to the Marines. So, Shanks is going to be used to break the morale of the captives they have. And not just Shanks. What happens when you single out the greatest pirates in the crowd and systematically break them in front of everyone?(Shanks knows he should stay strong. he knows it. But after so much time has passed...he can't.) Who is going to resist after that? And love the Peeta/Johannna parallels!

As far as Shanks being a Celestial Dragon...hm, there's a reason Doflamingo wasn't caught. And also...the marines gathering intel on Shanks is important to that, because they are also gathering intel on everyone and everything in order to move towards ending piracy for good. No stone is left unturned. During this search they will find certain things, and origins of certain people. And Shanks being a Celestial will give them a good reason to not outright kill him after they do their worst. Oh, I'm eager to see him break myself! (I say that like I won't be doing the breaking, lol) "because he's so solid in his older incarnation that it just seems almost out of character for him to fall apart." One reason why I'm putting so much into this AU is because of exactly that. Drama and angst and hurt is my thing, but with the older versions of Shanks and Mihawk, there is not much that can phase/hurt them to the point of evoking severe drama/angst/hurt, unless it's an overpowered threat. With their younger selves, it's a different story. Their lowest lows lead to the their highest highs in this AU, the idea that marines attempted to wipe their enemies off the face of the earth and instead only created a monster for themselves is a driving theme. So yeah, that'll be fun. OOOOOOH, I'd read that in an instant! please, please do. The juxtaposition of the independent and powerful men the canon Mihawk/Shanks are against the glued-at-the-hip, jointly feared and entertwined Mihawk/Shanks this pair will be. I'd love art! Anything that gets made for this I'd eat up! Fire away! I actually have some sketches I've made too while writing, I'll throw those up pretty soon.

#one piece #op #opla #dracule mihawk #akagami no shanks #hawkeye mihawk #red haired shanks #mihawk one piece #shanks one piece #mishanks #mihawk x shanks #op marines #loguetown au

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jadedrrose · 1 year

Note

Hello Heather, could I request a Law fic with prompt Domestic Life? Thank you so much for writing!

IM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THIS ONE!!! GOD!!! Anyway, I think I went overboard on fluffiness, lol. I just want to be married to this man so bad, ugh 😩

Warnings: No real ones. One very slight suggestive comment, but it’s up to you to interpret what it means. Also, mentions of having a baby toward the end.

Nobody’s life was ever quiet, or peaceful all the time. Especially when being a pirate.

But, as of right now, you were quite content with things. The war was over, firstly. Nearly two years had passed, and finally you began to feel a lot more safe, especially with your husband becoming a Warlord.

Oh yeah, husband. Despite it being months ago now, you still would get butterflies every time you remembered that you were married to Law. You’d always thought he wouldn’t want to do it, but he surprised you greatly on that day he’d asked you to marry him.

And today was another simple day with your husband.

As always, he’d woken up much earlier than you had. Before the entire crew, actually. He would always kiss your cheek when getting out of bed, whether his movements awoke you or not. He’d then shower and get ready for the day, and head off to his office until breakfast.

Before, breakfast was served with and for the whole crew. But you’d found that ever since getting married, the crew had moved their own breakfast time so that you and Law could have your own time, much like normal non-pirate couples would have.

Breakfast happened when you woke up. You’d rise from bed and depending on the day, either keep your pajamas on or put on your usual outfit. But never the boiler suit you hadn’t worn in years now. Law claimed it was unfair to make the most important person in his life, and also basically his second-in-command, to dress like everyone else. He wanted you to express yourself.

So you’d do your usual morning routine and then head out of the bedroom that you and your husband shared, heading straight to the kitchen to prepare food.

You’d make Law’s favorite, then yours, and bring it down to his office. In there, you’d sit on the extra chair specifically meant for you and only you, and eat breakfast with him. Everyday, Law would repeat the words “thank you, dear” when you’d set the plate down in front of him. And everyday, you would smile and giggle at his words.

After breakfast, you’d let Law continue working while you did some typical household chores. Make the bed, clean up any messes within your bedroom or personal bathroom, clear the kitchen so everybody else could make their breakfast. Do your’s and Law’s laundry if needed, stuff like that. When you were finished, you’d either hang out with the crew or do some of your hobbies.

For lunch, you’d meet Law in the library. Neither of you really ate big lunches, and due to this, you knew Law would just keep working if he ate in his office. So the library it was.

If he wasn’t too busy, the two of you would hang out. Train together, cuddle with Bepo up on the deck in the warm sun, etc. But if Law really had time to spare, you would find yourself back in the bedroom (or really, anywhere “private” on the submarine) for some alone time.

Around dinner time, Law would leave his work behind for the day and join you in the kitchen to help make the food. Again, the crew let you have the kitchen to yourselves, insisting that all couples had their own kitchens so you should too. Except that it was only your own for about an hour and a half. Then it was everybody’s.

Tonight, everything was mostly the same. Law usually had some sort of onigiri or fish, and you’d make whatever it was that you liked. The both of you swiftly worked around each other, an unspoken sort of coordination between the two of you.

Once finished, you’d both sit down at the end of the large table within the kitchen. Tonight was no different. The two of you began eating, making some conversation here and there.

But there was something on your mind this particular evening. You’d been wanting to bring it up with your husband for a while, but you didn’t really know how he’d react. Today, Law seemed like he was in a better mood than usual. Maybe it was due to his Warlord title finally becoming official. But nonetheless, it was a good time to bring it up. Hopefully.

“Something on your mind, y/n-ya?” Law inquired, noticing the odd look on your face, the way you were much quieter than usual, sentences very short. It was unlike you.

“Uh, yeah… but, we don’t have to talk about it-“

“No, let’s talk about it. Tell me what it is.”

Law’s voice was calm, relaxing you. He always made sure to speak to you like an equal (but honestly, he viewed you as higher than himself), and never make you feel like a simple crew member.

“Well, I just don’t know how you’ll feel about it…” you stammered, unsure of how to word this. Gosh, you were nervous.

��I promise I won’t be angry or upset. Never.” Law spoke, looking directly into your eyes now. He wasn’t even eating anymore.

“Um, I just… I didn’t want to bring it up too early, but now that we’ve been married for eight months,” you started, nearly shaking from nervousness. “I… was wondering how you felt about… starting a family?”

Law simply stared at you. You cringed, thinking, yep! You’d fucked up. Of course he wouldn’t want to, you were pirates. It was too dangerous, and you were selfish for wanting it.

“I… I’m not opposed to that,” Law said, calculating his thoughts. “We’re protected now, so maybe it is a good time to… try.”

Your eyes widened, and you blinked at him. “Really? You’d want to?”

He nodded. “Before I’d met you I had thought it would be something I’d never do. But you, y/n-ya… you’ve changed my outlook on, well, everything.”

You smiled, reaching your hands across the table to cover his lovingly. “Oh Law… you never fail to make me feel like I’m falling in love all over again. How can that even happen? Every time I think I’ve loved you more than ever, I fall deeper.”

You giggled as his cheeks reddened, a blush forming on his face. “S-stop. You’re being so…”

“Cheesy?” You finished for him, giggling some more. “But it’s true. I love you, Law. More than anything.”

A small smile formed on his lips, and he nodded. “I love you too, y/n-ya.”

#trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar law #one piece fanfiction #one piece x reader #request #one piece x you

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utilitycaster · 1 year

Note

It’s so interesting how spot-on you were with the thoughts about toxic Beaujes folxs fleeing to D20. The same person who’s been starting shit on twitter just found out that CR doesn’t allow mass-produced zines, and used that fact to make some batshit generalization about how “that’s why the fandom is corporatized and violent and racist towards any canon-contradicting fanon like all my beaujester friends told me and now I’m parroting it uncritically”.

So I think this might be my last post on this unless some more wild shit goes down (very possible) not because I disagree but just because I am also trying to be conscious of overshadowing my genuine excitement for The Ravening War. But yeah...like, I followed a few people who were CR fanartists until Beauyasha started happening and unfollowed them once that went down; it was extremely exhausting watching a bunch of (mostly white) people in their early 20s suddenly claim a show they'd watched over 200 episodes of was hopelessly problematic simply because their ship didn't happen. It was a truly vile combination of normal shipping drama plus appropriated social justice language about said shipping drama plus, as others have noted, middle-class white queer people [a demographic I fit into myself] shoving aside narratives about POC or working class people because they aren't explicitly queer narratives (or even narratives about queer people that aren't to their exact specifications of what queerness looks like; see people who refuse to respect Molly's pronouns or who erase Vax's bisexuality because he was primarily romantically involved with a woman).

The zine thing is fucking wild in particular for the following reasons:

The two CR-centric zines that person has mentioned as not ultimately moving forward were both zines that intended to pay the artists, ie, at least partially for profit rather than charity zines.

I am not personally in a creative industry but I've been reliably told by basically everyone who is that CR's policy is boilerplate.

CR has a pretty extensive history of showcasing and hiring fanartists; this is not opposition to fan content, which is how this wack job is attempting to portray it.

Similarly no one is devaluing fan content; they're just saying "you are throwing a big old hissy fit in public about the hypothetical scenario of The Ravening War not honoring a ship that has, and I am not joking here, six fics on Ao3 in total." (For reference: Lapin/Theo, a ship that person actively dislikes, has 56 works, which, idk I feel that's almost ten times as widely accepted fanlore.)

Their twitter currently is bragging about their cookbook zine (which as far as I know wasn't based in fanon but was just a cookbook with fanart in it) and not about their currently active charity zine (which is the one about Belizabeth and Citrina). Also that charity zine is available for free which really undercuts the "for charity" aspect. Anyway a cool thing to do is to not buy it, but just donate directly to the International Rescue Committee or your refugee-supporting charity of choice.

Anyway. This was an opportunity to rant a lot but I will leave you with this: I am not the right person, obviously, to enumerate every possible issue with CR's portrayal of characters of color nor the lack of diversity of the cast. I think discussions of racism and lack of representation in actual play are important to have. But it's telling that fanartists, specifically, who left CR over Beau and Jester not getting together but pretended this was about social justice, always seem to go to D20. Or NADDPod. Or Friends at the Table. Or have their art featured in the TAZ graphic novels. All majority white or entirely white main casts.

They rarely seem to go to, say, Rivals of Waterdeep, or Into the Motherlands, or Three Black Halflings (and those are still some of the better known examples, frankly). People complaining that Critical Role hates lesbians for having a lesbian relationship they didn't like never seem to check out The Broadswords, or use resources like this to find women-led actual play. It's about getting clicks; they want to find an existing fandom to adore them rather than use the power they claim to wield to popularize something underrated.

Anyway that's the last reason why I think I'm done for now: I think the best and most satisfying thing is to starve them of attention, and to enjoy the Ravening War and art and fic about it from fans who are happy to be here.

#answered #Anonymous

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hils79 · 9 months

Text

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 40

It doesn't feel like 5 minutes ago that I started this drama. It's so very bingeable.

It's been a real journey. None of this has been what I expected beyond the very basic concept of 'it's a drama about esports'. There have been so many wonderful surprises. There are characters that I hated that I now love, characters that I loved that I now love even more, and more ships than I ever expected to ship.

While I'm at it I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has popped up in the replies to my posts or in my asks to either answer my questions or just yell about their favourite characters. I can tell this drama (and the novel and donghua) are so well loved and liveblogging this has really felt like a community experience. Thank you for not laughing at all the stuff I got wrong and for not making fun of me for shipping everyone. It's really been so wonderful and I almost don't want to press play on the final episode because I don't want it to be over.

But I need to see what happens so let's go!

Ah, okay. I misunderstood what happened at the end of the last episode. I thought they'd lost the game but no they could still win they just didn't have enough points to win the championship.

Is there going to be some loophole like the whole 'oh the ref's watch broke so actually you won'

HAHA! I fucking knew it! They got an extra two points for beating a league record. Because apparently that is a rule that has never been mentioned until now.

Eh, whatever. There was a nice moment with the fans before the found out they'd won

Ye Xiu finally gets the hug that he's needed since episode 1

Good lord how is there 30 minutes left? What's going to happen now that they've won?

God I hope Sun Xiang punches him

Except of course he won't because he's all grown up now. Also, typically it's the coaches/managers that get fired when a team does badly. I hope he gets booted

Love Shaotian dragging Wenzhou to his feet so he can cheer

Remember when their entire fanbase was just this guy. I'm definitely not crying at all

Look at that little half smile. He's grown so much considering they only lost on a technicality. I do think he's at least a little bit happy for Ye Xiu as the better player (for now)

GDI I can't believe I'm crying over Sun Xiang AGAIN

LOL remember when I thought he was going to be the antagonist of the drama when I watched the first episode. How wrong I was

Haha yes let's have a little joke about the time when I nearly banned you for life in the middle of an important game and caused your team to lose as a result

I have in no way been thinking about writing some King's Avatar fic with one based on the fact that Ye Xiu passes out after one drink

HAHA! Mo Fan pretended to pass out too so he doesn't have to talk to anyone. He is such a mood

Oh shit! I did not see that coming!

Oh no he looks so sad to see his former team like this, and it's understandable. He built that team from the ground up and put so much time and work into making them the legends they were

Yes, good. Baozi is cuddling one of his boyfriends as he should

Ah, yay, I'd forgotten about the team graphic. Time to add one more person right before the end

And finished! That was wonderful! Definitely in my top 5 dramas that I've watched this year. Might even be the number one, actually. I definitely should have watched that years ago when people first told me to give it a try. But, you know, I firmly believe you find things when you were meant to find them. Now was good.

I'll be starting a new drama tomorrow. If you were just here for my King's Avatar posts it's been lovely to have you. If you're sticking around for other liveblogs I'll see you tomorrow for more yelling :D

#hils watches #hils watches the king's avatar #hils watches cdramas #the king's avatar #cdrama

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rollercoasterwords · 4 months

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hie rae! i have query/a dichotomy about gender and shit that i would love you to share your thoughts on (if you feel like it, no pressure!). i remember someone once called you something like the "resident tumblr smart person" and you also seem knowledgable about gender (do you do gender studies?) but first i just wanted to say how much i love your fanfics! they're some of my favs ever honestly and thank you so much for writing them!

i remember someone once called you something like the "resident tumblr smart person" and you also seem knowledgable about gender

ok, so basically one of friends was staying at my flat a few days ago, i mentioned (jokingly) that i feel like a bad feminist when i shave my face but that i hate having hair on my face too much to not shave it. for reference i'm a brown cis women who has a fair amount of facial hair and i have been shaving my face since i was a teen. my friend (who's trans) pointed out that she also shaves her face regularly but that for her, its a form of gender affirming care and so would it be possible that its also that for me?. we're both really interested in gender and the elements of performance in it and so we spent ages talking about it and couldn't really come to a conclusion. the thing that i was wondering about especially is that when i do shave my face, it doesn't really feel like its affirming my gender - it feels more motivated by insecurity and the desire to conform. so do you think it would be possible that for cis women it is possible for shaving to be gender affirming or is it all a product of our socialisation/ the beauty industry?

sorry for the mess that this ask is, i hope you can understand it! thanks! 💙💙💙

hi!! ty 4 the kind words i'm glad u like my fics <3 and i do in fact study gender studies lol there are of course many people v knowledgeable abt these topics tho it's not like i'm the foremost expert etc. happy 2 be ur tumblr smart person 4 the day tho & happy 2 share my thoughts!

so in the first place i don't necessarily think a distinction between trans/cis is useful here in determining whether something can/should be considered "gender affirming," nor do i necessarily think there's a strict dichotomy between "gender affirming" beauty practices versus "it's just socialized" or whatever. every woman is going 2 have different experiences with & reasons behind shaving, and oftentimes those differences will not map neatly onto a binary of trans/cis in which one side always finds the experience affirming and the other does not. additionally, all beauty practices are socialized in the first place & will often engender a mix of feelings that don't fit neatly into "this is 100% affirming" versus "this is absolutely not affirming in any way."

i think it's easy to say "shaving is just patriarchal conditioning for women and we need to stop to be good feminists!!" but that sentiment also fails to recognize that many women derive very real economic and social benefits by conforming to beauty standards, and many women furthermore find it necessary to shave to mitigate violence they might otherwise face. it doesn't mean it's a good thing that these standards exist (beauty in and of itself is always a tool of power imo), but it also makes it, in my opinion, kind of pointless to quibble over whether it's "feminist" to shave or not; each person faces their own set of material conditions that they have to navigate. also, the things an individual person chooses to do with their body hair really don't strike me as incredibly important in like...the grand scheme of Feminist Action, y'know? the entire question seems to lie more in the realm of like...personal feeling & decision making, and in that instance i am a supporter of total bodily autonomy. everyone picks and chooses their own battles when it comes to what beauty standards to adhere to; i don't shave my body hair, for example, but i'm scheduled to undergo a cosmetic surgical procedure in a few months, and for me there isn't a clear divide between the medical/gender affirming/socialized beauty standards reasons that i've chosen to do so. physical pain is one factor, but i'd be lying to myself if i said that i haven't been socialized to think about gender & the way it relates to my own body and appearance, and that that isn't factoring in as well. even if surgery is "affirming" for me, i still don't necessarily know that i'd call it a feminist action so much as something i'm doing to make my body easier to live in.

anyway, all that is to say--no, i don't think shaving makes you "a bad feminist." and i don't doubt your friend when she says that shaving is gender affirming for her. you both have different experiences when it comes to shaving, though, and if you've reflected on this and don't feel like shaving is something you really want to do, then maybe consider seeing what it's like if you stop--not to become "a better feminist," bc again, i don't think whether you personally shave is going to make or break Feminism, but bc it might make you happier. personally, my experience when i've stopped partaking in certain beauty routines or practices is that there's a period of insecurity at first which slowly fades as i've realized that most people really don't notice all the things about my body that i do. but that's my personal experience; if you decide to stop shaving and find that there are conditions in your life that make it too difficult, it's not worth agonizing over if you decide to start again, or to shave sometimes. in general i think this sort of individualistic emphasis on whether or not every single thing a person does is "feminist" is not useful tbh, nor do i think personal feelings of empowerment or affirmation are the best yardstick 4 measuring whether a certain action is "feminist"

#ask #ranting and raving #<- putting this here since this answer is like. long. not really a rant tho #in general i am pro reflecting on and acknowledging the motivations behind why we engage in particular beauty practices etc #but like. everyone engages in some way let's be real. it's just up to each person 2 decide to what extent & by what means they engage #so while i find it grating when people uncritically claim that things like shaving can be 'feminist' if it just 'feels empowering'#i find it equally grating when people get on high horses abt not shaving or place it in this like. hierarchy of beauty practices #hopefully this all makes sense...

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jacksgreysays · 5 months

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Would you ever write academy students having and history class, and learning just how many regimes Team 7 changed, and how "natural disasters" influenced something or another

Hi violetablood! :D

I sort of did this in one of my long ago Three Sentence Fic but I don’t think that’s a proper response to this ask so let’s see…

In a realistic Naruto world, I actually don’t know how important history would be in the academy. Because, I read this somewhere in regards to Boku no Hero Academia, but basically both the hero students and shinobi-to-be are at trade/vocational schools, which means their curricula would be focused towards their future roles in society more so than general knowledge. And not to say that history is useless to shinobi (especially regime changes!) but except for maybe the broadest of timeline regarding the Elemental Nations and somewhat uh… patriotic Konoha and Land of Fire history, I don’t think the Academy would teach much history to their pre-teen future soldiers. Like. These are elementary school kids, the majority of whom will either never leave Konoha or at the very least never leave Land of Fire (or, in a realistic war, be little more than cannon fodder, oof). There’s probably some kind of further education opportunities for those who enter Intel or those who are trained for deep cover, but otherwise I feel like more information is given as needed for whichever impending mission a shinobi gets deployed on.

All of that being said, Team Seven’s regime changing shenanigans are definitely part of the curricula mostly because they have SO CRUCIALLY changed the political, economic, and literal landscape of MULTIPLE COUNTRIES, in addition to being the top of a chain of dominoes that literally led to the creation of a BRAND NEW SHINOBI VILLAGE (and yeah, Land of Birds would be a minor village, but it’s still a whole new village). And also the alliance between Sand, Mist, and Leaf. Which, you know, fingers crossed, lasts for a long time.

The “natural disasters” would probably be part of the further education opportunities given they are probably still ANBU classified and thus would only be relevant to the previously mentioned specific shinobi. Although, I suppose that also depends on how much the “natural disasters” have changed geography (which I imagine is taught a little more widely taught in the academy. Or, at the very least, the breadth is a little wider even though, again, not everyone will leave Land of Fire). Because an earthquake is one thing, but a river having changed paths is another.

… although, to be honest, all of the above is me trying to excuse, diegetically, why I wouldn’t write this fic. Or at least, not as an entire fic devoted to this concept? Like, such a scene would be a part of a larger fic to sort of expositional dialogue something about the worldbuilding. Similar to how the “transcript from Nara Satori’s ‘Lectures on Elemental Chakra’” in Primadonna Girl (fills the void up with celluloid) was meant to bring the concept of specific ratios of blended elemental chakra leading to certain “extinct” blood limits to imply that Shikadai has Magnet Release but doesn’t quite know it.

So a scene in which academy students are learning about a certain genin team affecting international politics via regime changes would have to serve a greater purpose than just glorifying said team’s shenanigans. Like… take the Primadonna Girl universe: on the one hand, of course the propaganda machine that is “protect the village and the Hokage with your life” would want to mention such things like the Great Uzumaki Bridge and how the Nanadaime personally saved the life of the Daimyo of Land of Spring. But would they want to even risk Her name being brought up? All the students know that The Last Loyal Uchiha aka the head of the Konoha Military Police was genin teammates with the Nanadaime and that the Rokudaime was their sensei, but would the academy want to risk students then wondering who their third genin teammate was? How struck from the records would Her name and actions be? Does a certain level of enterprising students investigating flag member of Intel? (Is that maybe even a good thing? Are there ANY clan members who run interference, who watch which clever students find the truth and what those clever students do? Does an older Shiho secretly make copies of those censored reports so that one day the truth can be restored?)

And then, non-diegetically, I suppose the reason why I wouldn’t write it is because it would be either SO MANY CHARACTERS to juggle (an entire class, plus their teacher?) or just a straight up lecture—which I greatly struggled with in the previously mentioned “Lectures on Elemental Chakra”—with the students only tuning in every so often. Or, like, talking over it. And then—even if it is the next generation kids—that’s still a lot of OCs to fill out the numbers. Even with Shino being their teacher. SO MANY CHARACTERS!

… buuuuut now that I consider the whole… political ramifications of school curricula in Primadonna Girl, it does make it more appealing. Because the propaganda/intel/counter-intelligence would be one of the many arenas in which the pro-Shikako and pro-Naruto camps would be duking it out, and I guess that would be an interesting way to get Shino’s (and Chiyako’s and maybe Kiba’s) POV or even what side they’d be on, because I don’t think I’ve yet brought up their opinion of the whole situation.

And if this IS after the (fills the void up with celluloid) installment, then it would be interesting to see how Shikadai does or doesn’t react to the gaps that may or may not be in the history that he now knows is where is secretly banished aunt is supposed to be. And if Shikadai does react (or pointedly DOESN’T react) to certain things then that pulls in other students noticing his behavior (ie, Chouchou, Inojin, and Boruto)

So, like, I guess the answer is maybe I would write this fic under extremely certain circumstances?

#jacksgreyson #violetablood #ask box advent calendar #dreaming of sunshine #naruto #meta analysis #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#ask box would you ever

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