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#and 'you have to fight her where she lives' and 'i live there' LIKE
hedgehog-moss · 1 day
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The blueberry tart moral quandary has been very fun to ponder! Thank you for sharing it with us. I think the real question, however, is what each of your animals would think about ordering two slices of tart under the circumstances
You're right, that IS the true question here. Let's situate this in a universe where blueberry tart is safe & delicious to eat for all animal species.
CHICKENS. The chickens would definitely want that second helping of tart because chickens live in a solipsistic moral universe and would hesitate to share tart even if it was their dying sister's last wish. However if you place two slices of tart on the ground for 2 chickens, they will immediately and violently start fighting each other over the same slice, thus giving you the opportunity to discreetly retrieve the first slice for yourself. Moreover, if a chicken manages to break off half of the slice and starts running like hell to go eat it elsewhere in peace, the other chicken will take off after her instead of eating the other half happily by herself. If they then break this half in two while fighting over it, they will resume fighting over that half of the half, allowing you to retrieve 3/4 of the second slice. And so on. This is Zeno's paradox applied to chickens and tart: the hens will spend the rest of eternity fighting over diminishing crumbs while you get almost all of the second slice back (albeit broken in increasingly minuscule halves.)
CATS. Not only would the cats want that second slice regardless of who else wants it, they would also sit & start grooming themselves on the rest of the pie with great serenity, rendering it inedible for anyone else. However, my original post established that the pies were under large bell jars. Two of my three cats are (to their everlasting torment) stymied by this sadistic human invention. If the bell jar is heavy enough that you can't push it off the table (a popular strategy), then Mascarille and Merricat will just circle it a few times, ram their faces into the glass, do a full body swipe against it in case this might open a secret door, and then walk away in frustration. Morille on the other hand is a cat possessed of extreme patience, diabolical intelligence and acute interest in forbidden food. She will get the tart no matter how long she has to lie in wait.
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DOG. Pandolf would not want a second slice or even a first one, if he is made to understand that this might make other people sad. The thing with Pandolf is, he can smell disappointment. His great big nose picks up on every particle of human disappointment in the air and they go straight to his heart. He is also too polite to even defend his bone from thieving chickens. There's no way he would claim any tart at all unless someone gave it to him and made it clear they would be happy for him to eat it. However Pandolf is very cute when he sits there with a lolling tongue, happy for others to have a good time, and there is also no way one or several persons wouldn't give him their slice of tart. He would definitely end up with tart.
LLAMAS. Pampelune is the matriarch and since her duties involve dying to protect her herd in case of predator attacks, she considers it her prerogative to eat first and as much as she damn pleases in compensation. She would get two slices. I believe Poldine would choose to have only one slice and kiss everyone in the restaurant on the cheek for good measure, and I also believe she would actually get zero tart. As shown in the salt video, Poldine understands her place in the pasture hierarchy (the one who eats last) and has to resort to subterfuge to get even 1 lick of salt while others are gorging themselves. She will be very dependent on other people's temperance and decency to get any tart (so, Pandolf is her best bet.) Meanwhile Pampérigouste is trying to figure out how to escape the restaurant undetected to go on an adventure while the sheeple are talking about tart. She will get one or two or three slices but only if they can facilitate her various stratagems (for example, to bribe a guard at the door.)
The FISH—do not have the cognitive abilities to worry about morals but more importantly, do not experience soul-deep desires in the way the birds and mammals in this list do. My fish live in a smooth and quiet world where the gods make food rain from the sky every day. In this luminescent existence of untroubled abundance their capacity for longing has atrophied. They do not understand what wanting tart means, let alone the complex philosophical agonies humans can put themselves through when faced with culinary conundrums.
DONKEY. Pirlouit's first instinct would be to claim all the tart he can eat and then some. However donkeys and fish sit at opposite ends of the philosophical spectrum; Pirlouit strikes me as an animal who would be interested in exploring the ethical ramifications of the issue, as an intellectual exercise. 70% of his life consists in quiet deep ponderings. I think Pirlouit could get distracted ruminating the blueberry tart quandary in light of the rich philosophical heritage of donkey civilisation, and arrive too late to get any tart by the time he determined whether one or two slices is the right answer. Kind of like that time he got distracted by his need for revenge and was late for breakfast and the llamas had already claimed the hay.
IN CONCLUSION.
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norrisleclercf1 · 1 day
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Little Champions
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader x Max Verstappen
Rating: PG
Warnings: None, just some good ole fluff
Words: 1.1K
Synopsis: It's just a normal morning in the Hamilton-Verstappen household
A/N: Yeahhhhh this was totally self indulgent
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You knew the moment your little one was up; it was hard not to tell when they were awake. The little patter of feet and a giggle had you smiling, but you knew you needed to pretend to still be sleeping.
"Papa," you hear the groan of your husband next to you and a body shift. A little giggle leaves your little one's mouth, and a little weight joins you in the bed. 
"Mijn paardenbloem, you have to be quiet. Mommy is still sleeping." Max wraps his arm around his little girl and smiles, seeing the curls she inherited and the bright blue eyes that match him. "Papa, where's Daddy?" Sophie asks, looking around for her other father. "He's running, now, lay down and we can cuddle." You smile when you hear that, as Max hated being cuddled, but when it came to your baby girl, 
"Yes!" She squeals, and Max chuckles as you hear bodies moving. After some time, it grows quiet, and you peek your eyes open, seeing the sleeping faces of Max and Sophie. Silently reaching over, you grab your phone and take a picture of them, sending it to your other partner and then climbing out of bed. Walking to their side, you lean over and kiss their cheeks, their nose twitching the same way. 
Stepping out, you head to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Opening the window, you listen to the birds and smile at your little garden, which grows veggies and flowers. Sassy and Jimmy move around your feet but make sure not to trip you, as you can't see them now. "Woah," you giggle, feeling a little kick, and look down at your round stomach; about five months along, you touch where the baby kicked you. "Easy, little one," You tease and rub the area, feeling the baby kick you again. 
Humming, you start cooking the eggs and sausage and cutting up some fruit for Max and Sophie when you gasp, feeling cold hands wrap around you. "Good morning," Shivering, you turn and stare at your gorgeous, sweaty husband. "Morning, Lewis." Lewis hums and kisses you gently, which makes you sigh. "Where are Max and Sophie?" He asks, and you nod your head towards the bedroom. "Knocked out, but this one here is kicking me," Lewis chuckles and steps forward, placing his hand on your round stomach. 
"Yeah, just like Max. A fucking terror." You giggle, and Lewis smiles, bending down and kissing you right where they kick you. The kicking stops, and Lewis sighs, "I've got to take a shower," You nod and turn back to the fruit, Lewis walking into the bedroom. Tiptoeing into the room, Lewis smiles, seeing Max and Sophie curled up into one another. Leaning over, Lewis places a soft kiss on Max's temple and one on his daughter's cheek. "You smell," Lewis chuckles lowly, looking at bright blue eyes. "Yes, I was training." Max smiles, making no attempt to get up. 
"It's the summer break, Lew, enjoy it." Lewis moves, fingers moving through the short strands of blonde hair. "Just makes me feel better; besides, I have much to think about." He whispers, and Max nods, understanding. It would be Lewis's last season with Mercedes, and the car still had trouble. "Anything I can help with?" Max was soft with his question; he knew Lewis liked to work things out alone. "No, baby, I'm leaving soon anyways," Max nods and sighs, Sophie moving closer, staring down at his daughter. Lewis thinks back to when he made the decision. 
"Everything will be okay, Lewis, and we'll fight each other on track soon. You're not done." Lewis looks at Max, staring at their daughter and taking her in. "Also, I think she'd like it if Papa and Daddy were on the same podium again." That's why Lewis had to leave; Mercedes was putting more pressure on him, and he wanted to live closer to his family. Constantly flying back and forth from Britain to Monaco. At least with Ferrari, they won't bother him when he is home with family. 
Lewis's phone rings and he groans; Max reaches behind him, grabs Lewis's phone, and sees it's Toto. "No, we're about to leave for vacation; he shouldn't even be calling you," Max grumbles, sitting up and pulling away when Lewis reaches for the phone. "Max, give me the phone." Max shakes his head no and swipes left, ending the annoying ringing. "Max," Lewis groans, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Max, phone." Max shakes his head no and gets a look in his eyes. 
Reaching over the bed, Max dodges it and lands on the other side, Sophie sitting up confused. "Max, come on. It's too early for this," Max chuckles and holds the phone up. "No, Lewis, you promised. No phones on the trip, and I see this as a work phone." Lewis leans on the bed, and Sophie giggles, thinking they are playing. "Daddy, play with me." Lewis looks up and chuckles, his baby girl's hair a mess. "Baby girl, your hair is a mess." Lewis chuckles, and Max takes the opportunity to bolt out of the room; Lewis moves but misses him and groans as Sophie laughs loudly. 
"What are you doing?" you yell, but Max doesn't answer. He runs to his SIM room and slams the door shut. "Lewis?" Lewis carries Sophie out, who giggles and worms her way down, Lewis sits her down, and she runs after her Papa. "Papa! Open!" You hear the SIM door open and then giggle, and the door closes fast. "What is he doing?" "Hiding my work phone in the cat's toys again." He shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of the fruit. 
"You should stop bringing that phone into the house, Max hides it all the time." Lewis hums and takes a bite of his vegan pancakes. "I know, but it makes him and Sophie laugh, so it doesn't bother me." You smile, leaning over the best you can and kissing your husband. "Max, Sophie, breakfast!" Tiny feet and then heavier feet behind her as they come in, smiling brightly. She had his smile, which makes you and Lewis melt seeing it. 
"Daddy, uppy?" Sophie gives big puppy eyes, and Lewis can't resist, so he picks her up and settles her in his lap. "Can I sit there too, Daddy," Lewis cuts a glare at Max, which makes you giggle, Sophie laughing only cause you are laughing. "Find you're own seat." Max pouts but sits down next to Lewis as you serve breakfast. Lewis and Max help Sophie eat, and she basks in being spoiled by her Papa and daddy. 
Staring at your little family, you smile, touching your growing stomach with much love. Max looks up and smiles one of his toothy smiles, which makes you smile back. Yeah, you love your little family. 
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fire0nfire · 3 days
Text
king of my heart | pt. 2
pairings: lando norris x fem!reader | pato o'ward x fem!reader
warnings: love triangle? kinda.
author's note: go get some popcorn cause we have some drama here🍿... and it's a long part, so enjoy!!
part 1 | part 2
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, frosenqvist, and 79,121 others!
yourusername Miami GP over and out ✅🏁 No words could ever explain just how grateful I am for all of you and for the opportunity that I get to cover this amazing sport with such incredible people by my side. Thank you for everything Miami, I hope to see you again soon! 🌴💖
user1 the power she holds 🙌
user2 she's really living my dream 🥹
lissiemackintosh so happy to be able to share this with you!! love u❤️
yourusername we really need to do this more often😘 love u too! user3 y/n and lissie hosting track tv together is my new roman empire fr user4 SLAY QUEENS!! user5 the queens are thriving user6 i wanna be friends with them so bad 😫
user7 omg girl you're STUNNING
user8 BEST F1 WAG
user9 facts facts facts user10 she's not even a wag lol it's so obvious lando just keeps this nobody around for when he's bored and horny user11 user10 this "nobody" has done SO much in terms of women representation in motorsport, she's hardworking and a lovely woman. meanwhile, you're just a sad little person who's jealous of her because she's successful and close to your crush, who doesn't even know who you are. so get a life and stop embarrassing yourself. user12 user11 SAY IT LOUDER 👏 user13 user11 PREACH!!!
user14 i don't know if i wanna be her or be with her😩
user15 this is such a mood tbh
landonorris so proud of you, boo😍
yourusername 🥰🧡 user16 YNLANDO NATION WE WON user17 we love a supporting boyfriend 🤩 user18 i want what they have, your honor user19 is this considered a soft launch or what? user20 y'all are delulu😂 it's so obvious they're just friends user21 user20 girl being delulu is the solulu 🙌
user22 so when are we gonna talk about felix liking the post?
user23 i'm lost sorry, who's felix? user24 user23 he's pato's teammate in indycar and one of his besties user25 if felix liked then WHERE'S PATO user26 user25 doing more important things than being focused on this girl.
lilymhe such a pretty girl 💗
alex_albon should i be jealous? yourusername you should indeed. can u fight? user24 the friendship i didn't know i needed 🥹 user25 MY FAV WAGS INTERACTING YAY
user26 f1 is so lucky to have you!!!
user27 LOOOL why would they be lucky to have her?😂😂😂 she's nothing special user28 user27 and yet she's still rising 💅 user29 user27 then why are you even on her post? lol obsessed much?
user30 my role model ❤️‍🩹
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📞 incoming call
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[y/n; normal] [pato; cursive]
"...Hello? Did you butt-dialed me or something?"
"Uhm, hi. It's not a butt-dial. I-I actually just wanted to talk to you. Hear your voice, y'know. I've been kinda missing you."
"Oh really? And here I was thinking that your cold behavior toward me over the past three weeks meant that you didn't want anything to do with me. Silly me, I guess."
"I-I'm... [sighs]. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually. About the way I've been treating you. I'm sorry, y/n. I really am sorry. I know I've been a total jerk-"
"Yeah, you can put it that way."
"...I've been a total jerk and I regret it very much. You didn't deserve it at all. I just- I'm not trying to excuse my awful behavior but I just think I got- Uhm..."
"You got what?"
"Well... I saw Lando's instagram story when you went back to Monaco, as you've probably already figured it out. And I think- Well... I got jealous. And I know it probably sounds stupid now but at the time it felt like a punch in the face."
"Pato..."
"I know I didn't and still have absolutely no business to be jealous about you and Lando, cause you and I are not dating or anything and you don't owe me any kind of explanation about the type of relationship you have with him. But after the great time we spend together in Long Beach... I don't know, it just hurted seeing you with him. But that doesn't excuse anything and I just regret so much the way I've been treating you since then, it hasn't been fair to you at all."
"And it didn't cross your mind that we could have had this conversation way before now? I mean, you waited three weeks to finally talk to me like a decent human being, how-"
"I know and I'm so-"
"Let me finish."
"Sorry, go on."
"However, I do appreciate that you're finally acknowledging all of this and communicating with me like an actual adult. I know it's not always easy to do. And although I don't owe you any kind of explanation, I just want you to know that there's nothing going on between Lando and me."
"So you and him...?"
"We're friends and that's it. We care for each other but there's nothing going on."
"Oh... well, thanks for clarifying that for me."
"Yeah, yeah. You'll have to work harder for my forgiveness, anyway. I appreciate the call but it won't be that easy for you."
"Is that so?"
"You've heard me."
"In that case, what would you say if I invite you for a few days to come here to Punta Mita? Maybe that'll help me a little to earn your forgiveness."
"... I'm sorry, what!?"
"You've heard me."
"You're joking. You have to be joking."
"I'm not joking. You're still in Miami, right?"
"I am..."
"Great! My brother in law is in Miami too and he'll take the jet tomorrow morning. If you want to, you can join him and come here with him! We'd be thrilled to have you here too."
"Oh my God... Pato, I don't know what to say!"
"Say yes and you'd make this birthday boy the happiest man in the world. You'd even make my sister happy, I've been telling her a lot about you and now she's eager to meet you."
"I hope you've been telling her good things about me, then."
"Only the best. She's even on your side, y'know. Said I was being a giant cabrón and needed to make things right. She wasn't wrong tho."
"[giggles] Fine. I'll go, but I'm only doing this for your sister."
"I'll take that anyway! I'll let Brett know you'll join him and I'll send you the details, okay?"
"Okay!"
"Now go and pack your bags for tomorrow."
"Hey! Don't get bosy with me, mister!"
"[Laughs] Fine. Take care, I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you, birthday boy!"
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patriciooward posted to his story!
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[caption 1; 🦈] [caption 2; beautiful views]
yourusername posted to their story!
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[caption 1; para-para-paradise 🌞] [caption 2; in his sharkboy era] [caption 3; 🐶❤️]
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paddockgossips
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liked by magui_corceiro and 84,091 others!
paddockgossips Among the alleged "breakup" between y/n and Lando, the McLaren driver was photographed last night having fun in a Monaco club in the company of Max Fewtrell and other friends. Some sources have said that Lando seemed very cozy with a blonde woman at the party, whom he later left with. However, we cannot verify this information in any way, so it remains a rumor.
user1 I HAVE A CHANCE AGAIN (i'm delulu)
user2 so this confirms ynlando is over?? 😭
user3 girl i'm devastated 😭😭😭 user4 i'm still in denial user5 well they were never together to begin with user6 user5 THIS!! people act like they were a couple when they NEVER confirmed anything 😂
user7 "blonde woman at the party" "it remains a rumor" and magui goes and like the post LOL
user8 she's so desperate for attention🙄 user9 who's magui??? user10 user9 she's kika's friend and she was dating football player João Félix not so long ago (in fact, i thought they were still together lol) user11 user10 and don't forget she's a cheater. user12 user9 she's trouble
user13 yn >>>>>>>> magui
user14 user13 no need to compare them
user15 sorry but single lando it's so hot 🥵
user16 SO TRUE user17 FACTS he looks so good omfg
user18 in his heartbreaker era 😎
user19 in his reputation era 😎 user20 in his idgaf era 😎
user21 i'm a child of divorce fr
user22 i know y'all love y/n for some reason but i'm SO glad lando finally got away from her.
user23 SAME. and if magui makes him happy then great for him user24 stfu i'm mourning here
user25 y/n this magui that but max was, is and will forever be lando's true wag💅
user26 the one and only indeed
elbaoward posted to her story!
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[caption1; off to dinner] [caption2; my love🤍] [caption 3; lovebirds!]
patriciooward
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liked by landonorris, yourusername, brettkimbro, and 86,382 others!
patriciooward BDAY WKND DUMP 📸 thank y'all for all the love❤️‍🔥
user1 THE HARD LAUNCH IT'S HARD LAUNCHING
user2 OMG IT'S HAPPENING EVERYBODY STAY CAAAAALM
user3 he really said i'll give you what you want: thrist traps and y/n... and he's so real for that
user4 he really knows his audience user5 king behavior if u ask me user6 everybody say thank you Pato 🙏
user7 YNPATO NATION HOW ARE WE FEELING??
user8 I'M STILL SPEECHLESS user9 they're so perfect i wanna cry😭 user10 LOVE TO SEE🔥
user11 as a ynlando shipper i have to admit they're cute but ngl this still hurts 😩
user12 MOOD user13 ynlando will always be in our hearts 🥺 user14 ynlando >>>>>>>>>> ynpato user15 user13 girl grow up.
user16 THAT SHOULD BE ME
elbaoward where are my credits for the last pic? cuties🤍
user17 u literally gave us the cutest pic ever user18 elba thank you so much for your service🫡 user19 elba is ynpato's #1 fan and you can't tell me otherwise user20 elba is just like us fr user21 LOVE YOU ELBAAAAA 🩷
user22 MOM AND DAD
user23 can't believe how fast she moved on and got together with this dude lol lando really dodged a bullet with her
user24 how fast she moved on?? girl y/n and lando were never even together so stfu user25 ???? why are you even on pato's ig post? go away user26 user23 y/n is such an attention seeker and yet everyone loves her, i'll never understand it 🥱
user27 not to be that person but i would KILL to be that piñata😏
user28 MOOD
frosenqvist oh to be tanned, young and in love
patriciooward 😜 user29 IN LOVE??? FELIX BESTIE TELL US MORE user30 i don't know about y'all but this is all the confirmation i need about ynpato being real, bye user31 i think i can hear the wedding bells user32 user31 yesss and felix as pato's best man
user33 bestie don't be shy and drop more y/n pics 🫶
user34 i second the motion !!!
user35 NOT LANDO LIKING THE POST LOOOOL
user36 he is so unserious i love him user37 ICONIC BEHAVIOR TBH user38 yeah but i just know he's crying inside user39 user38 for what? lol lando knows he's so much better than this cheaper version of him. user40 user39 i'm so done with people like you who insult pato just because you cannot defend lando with good arguments.
yourusername magical weekend 💖
patriciooward with you there? always user41 STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE OMG user42 this is such an upgrade tbh user43 SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥹 user44 what a bitch.
yourusername posted to their story!
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[caption 1; back to reality✈️] [caption 2; I'm a high performance athlete. Athletes sweat. Sweat, baby] [caption 3; cutest model🧡]
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paddockgossips
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liked by magui_corceiro and 53,237 other people!
paddockgossips NEW WAG ALERT? 🚨 Magui Corceiro, the Portuguese model and actress, attended the Monaco GP after being seen a few days ago having lunch with Lando. It has been rumored that they could be in a relationship, especially since Lando and y/n apparently went different ways, and Corceiro's presence in the paddock has not gone unnoticed by anyone. Still, neither Lando nor Magui have confirmed or denied these rumors.
user1 A TRIGGER WARNING WOULD BE NICE NEXT TIME
user2 um let's hope there isn't a next time user3 user2 let's pray girl, let's pray 🙏
user4 "neither lando nor magui have confirmed or denied these rumors" well that's bs cause she just liked the post
user5 istg she's trying so hard to get attention user6 lando was asked about magui and he said she was just a friend... and then she goes and does this lol what a clout chaser user7 and people used to say that y/n was after lando's fame and yet she NEVER did anything like this user8 she's such a pick me girl
user9 everything i know of this girl has been against my will istg
user10 SAME
user11 oh good luck lando
user12 oh be prepared for the y/n fans and little girls that'll come attack magui when she hasn't even done anything wrong
user13 literally they're just mad at magui cause she's dating their fav driver loool user14 they're only jealous cause magui is a gorgeous woman user15 user14 she's gorgeous but she's still a snake
user16 i'd ask why lando would be with someone like her, but then i remember he's an adult and if he wants someone like her by his side then that's up to him. let's not treat him like a baby please
user17 say👏 it👏 louder👏
user18 weeeeell if this is the kind of people lando likes to have around then i guess y/n really dodged a bullet with him
user19 FACTS user20 i mean at the end of the day he's just another privileged white boy, so🤷‍♀️ user21 i really don't get all the hate that she's getting, is she really that problematic? user22 user21 girl google it yourself but yeah, she is
user23 I MISS MY GIRL Y/N WHERE IS SHEEEEEEEE??
user24 what is she even doing there?
user25 must be cause lando wanted her to be there user26 why y'all never asked the same thing about y/n? y'all are such hypocrites istg user27 user26 cause y/n was actually doing her job????? user28 user26 oh you're stupid 😂😂
user29 magui in the paddock, pato not being able to finish Indy 500... it really is a shitty day huh
user30 DON'T EVEN REMIND ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH PATO OMFG user31 I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT PATO user32 the only good part is that y/n and his family were there for him ❤️‍🩹
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see y'all in part 3!
taglist: @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @evie-119 @evans-dejong @minkyungseokie @noneofyourfbusinessworld @bernelflo @eiaaasamantha @ijustgomessitupx @honethatty12 @daemyratwst @f1fan65
(if you'd like to be tagged in the next part, just let me know in the comments!🧡)
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justanotherhh · 2 days
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some trailer things:
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big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?
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obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:
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john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)
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also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?
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more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended
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also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)
and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)
the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother
generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for
also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking
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blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital
who's this?
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another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?
blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)
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this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!
also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious
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is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)
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MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.
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this blitz + fizz moment
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it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time
(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)
fascinated by this:
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is that millie?
things we didn't see:
no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)
and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited
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aperrywilliams · 22 hours
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It Was Horrible Until It Wasn't (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: Reader comes up to her apartment after Spencer walks her home from the diner, where they spend the last couple of hours. She is still processing the night and wonders if they will meet again. Another fortuitous event makes that happen. In which terms they will part ways again?
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: Mention of guns (tests to carry a gun). Mention to Reader's ex. Some strong words? IDK what else. If I forgot something, let me know.
A/N: I got very excited after your reactions and comments to "If Anything, I Find it Educative." So this is kind of part two, from Reader's perspective. I'm not convinced about a series yet, even if I have some ideas. What would you like to see if it happens?
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Reader's POV
-----
As I open the door, a bunch of cardboard boxes scattered on the floor greets me. That reminds me that I haven't unpacked all my things yet.
I've only been living here for two weeks, and I'm still getting used to the idea that this is my new home. 
It doesn't feel like it yet. 
But the boxes will be a problem for tomorrow. Now, I only want to take off these high heels and this fancy dress and call it a night - a pretty eventful night.
Not only did I have to confront my ex with his new girlfriend, but I also had to pretend I was okay with it. But how did I expect to do that? Did I genuinely think two months would be enough to be outside again to prove I got myself up? 
How naive of me.
I make a beeline to my bedroom, not even bothering to look at the rest of the apartment.
Again, it's tomorrow's problem.
Retreating my phone from my purse, I plug it to charge over my bedside table as I strip from my clothes and go to the bathroom to do my nightly routine.
The entire time, my mind doesn't stop wandering. At some point, it settles on the girl I helped from choking. It was a total coincidence for me to be there. I only approached the bar for another drink when I heard that man rambling. I don't know why my ear perked up, but it did. When I look to find the voice's source, my eyes land on the man and the girl by his side.
He was talking as if the world would end if he didn't, and the girl only eyed him from head to toe, clearly not giving a damn what he was saying. I kept subtly listening to them while sipping my drink. The guy's voice had something enchanting. I would have heard him talk for hours if it were from me. It was a bad thing his interlocutor wasn't so receptive, and when she occasionally said something, it was a flirting remark that only made him uncomfortable. 
What a shame.
When I noticed her fighting to breathe, swatting her hands in desperation, and the poor guy froze on the spot, I knew I needed to do something.
I didn't think much of it and wrapped my arms around her torso to help her. It worked. The oyster she choked with flew into the air, and she could breathe again.
But the next thing I knew, her palm connected to the man's cheek.
The poor guy seemed so confused, and the people talking around didn't help either. What a shitty situation. And as the good citizen I am, I tried to do something about it, only to get lashed out by the same woman I just saved from choking.
Fuck it. 
Seeing the people's attention returned to them, I walked away. That wasn't my fight in the first place.
Returning from the bathroom, I hear my phone ding. It's a text from my friend Andie.
Andie: How did the gala turn out? Did you see him? He was with her, right?
Andie had insisted on me not going to the gala, although I repeated to her several times that it was okay, that nothing would happen, and that I couldn't hide forever.
Me: You were right. I wasn't ready.
It's a defeat I must recognize. I wasn't prepared to see them.
Andie: My girl, I'm so sorry. It must have been awful for you.
It was, but it doesn't mean the night was a disaster.
Me: It was horrible until it wasn't. I can tell you more tomorrow. Now, I only want to go to bed.
Andie: You have me a bit confused here, but okay. I'll call you tomorrow. Sleep tight; I love you.
I return my phone to the charger and slip under the covers.
It was horrible until it wasn't.
I keep thinking about that. And a smile tugs the corner of my lips. Since Spencer - the guy who got slapped by the oyster-choked girl - approached me at the terrace, the night wasn't that awful anymore.
Who would have thought I would end my night in a diner, dressed to the nines and spouting details of my messy life to a stranger?
-
Monday morning comes faster than I wanted. 
I spent my Sunday mostly unpacking boxes and tidying my apartment, and now, with a coffee in hand, I cross the hall to my office on the third floor of the FBI building in Quantico.
Some colleagues greet me as I pass by. I return them with a polite smile. I saw a couple of them at the gala on Saturday. I only hope they didn't notice the wreck I was that night.
On my desk, a pile of hundreds of manila folders are waiting for me.
This Monday will be a blast.
Dutifully, I reach for the first folder to start my work, as my ear perks up to two colleagues' conversation about the gala.
"Did you see them? Those hot chicks from Counterterrorism?" a male colleague says to another.
"Yeah. I heard one of them was hitting on Reid from the BAU. What a waste!" The other adds.
"And the lucky bastard wasn't able to take her home. His nerdy charm didn't even help him with that."
The mention of the BAU brings Spencer to my mind again. And I realize I don't even know his last name. 
I don't think I need to know, but I can't stop my fingers from typing 'Spencer FBI BAU' on my computer.
My findings make the conversation between my colleagues intriguing. They were precisely talking about Spencer, Spencer Reid, and the girl with him at the gala. Clearly, the incident did not go unnoticed.
I don't like the tone they refer to him, either. I do not know the guy well, but I'm sure he's way better than any of the men at the venue that night.
Are you hearing yourself (Y/N)? That kind of blind trust put you in this situation with your ex in the first place.
I shouldn't grant credibility so fast, but honestly? Spencer seems to be everything but a threat. The things he said, the way he spoke. Anyway, I should stop thinking about that if I want to finish some work. Yeah, that's what I need to do.
Drowning out the noise, I return to the opened folder and continue working.
Some would ask how a task as monotonous as the one I'm doing now could be appealing to someone. The appeal for me comes from how everything fits in the right places and serves a purpose. That's enough for me, even if some people don't understand it.
My ex didn't. And as him, many others.
I'm still fighting to ease the effects their judgments had on me.
Around lunchtime, stopping the papers review, I pick up my phone to check my messages. Yesterday, I promised Andie I would have lunch with her today, so I'm checking for her confirmation and a place to meet.
Just in time, a text comes. She is free right now and suggests a restaurant just outside the building.
"Hey, girl! I'm glad you made it," she greets me as I spot her on one of the tables.
"Of course. I promised I would."
Lunchtime is only one hour, so we order quickly and go straight to the matter.
"I can't believe the son of the bitch decided to go and show off his new conquest," Andie huffs.
"Not that new, considering she has been sleeping with him in what used to be my bed at least a month before I discovered it," I correct with an annoyed look.
It's good to say these things without crying my eyes out anymore.
I tell Andie more details about how it went to share a space packed with mutuals around us and try to stay composed.
"But at some point, I just couldn't. So I retracted to the bar. I only wanted to grab a drink and be alone."
Andie nods in understanding.
"I don't blame you. So you were at the bar when you crossed to the girl to whom you did Heimlich?"
Yesterday, by phone, I told Andie the main facts regarding that, and after laughing for a solid five minutes about the whole ordeal, she made me promise to reveal more details in our lunch meeting.
That's why I'm describing what happened piece by piece.
"She slapped the guy? And she yelled at you? What a bitch! But I don't understand why he apologized on her behalf."
"Honestly? I didn't understand it, but it made sense after talking with him. The guy felt responsible, even if it wasn't related to him. It was the fact that someone had to do the right thing," I explain, with my eyes fixed on my water glass, recalling Spencer's words from that night. 
I can't help but feel some fondness for his genuine worry. Andie raises an eyebrow and hums.
"The guy made a good impression on you, I see."
Andie's tone is teasing, and I know exactly where she is heading.
"Come on, don't start with that," I warn her. I'm not thoroughly annoyed, but I'm not in the mood for teasing. Andie scoffs.
"I'm just saying it's good to know there are men out there that give hopes up. That's all!"
"Sure," I mumble, not very convinced by her explanation.
The rest of our lunch follows a similar tone. When I finish telling Andie about Spencer walking me home, I know she is biting her tongue to say something to taunt me, but she holds back and opts for a question.
"Do you think you'll see him again?"
I ponder my answer. I don't know, although I remember Spencer asking, 'See you around?'
That doesn't mean we agreed to see each other again, even if I said, 'Sure, why not?' 
Did Spencer mean that? Did he want to see me again?
"I don't know. Maybe. We both work in this building, so there are chances, I guess," I shrug. Andie narrows her eyes.
"But do you want to?"
That's a question I don't know how to answer, so I take some seconds to think about it.
"Let's say I'm not opposed to the idea."
A reply that could be an understatement. But not I'm telling Andie that.
She doesn't press on the matter, though. And I'm grateful she doesn't.
Now it's time to go back to work. We walk out of the restaurant to our building and separate ways at the elevator. Andie continues to the eighth floor when I hop off on the third.
Returning to my desk, I continue checking the folders piled on my desk, and my mind only focuses on that, knowing if I don't, there is no chance of getting this stack finished.
----
A good thing about the week progressing is nobody talking anymore about the damn gala. It's been a nightmare since Monday when everyone had to mention something about it. That included comments about me facing my ex there. 
Of course, it was public knowledge I was dating an agent of the Criminal Investigative Division. Also, it became public knowledge he cheated on me with his current girlfriend from Counterterrorism.
But finally, it is Thursday, and everything seems to have returned to normal, so much so that the amount of work has increased exponentially. That's why I'm still at the office at seven pm.
I only assume it's time to go home when my boss pokes out of his office and calls for Andrew, one of our coworkers who distributes files and memos to the other departments.
I turn around, and it's only me at this hour. My boss notices the vacant office and is now talking to me.
"I guess I have to ask you to do this. Can you go to the sixth and drop this to Aaron Hotchner's office? I would have waited until tomorrow for Andrew, but this must be at his desk today."
I don't think I have a choice, so I pick the folder, promising to drop it before going home.
With my coat and purse, I grab the folder and stroll to the elevator.
I have been working here for four years and know every financial detail of each Quantico department, but I still need to recognize all department locations in this facility. So, floors are just floors, except the eight where Andie works.
Arriving at my destination, I walk into a bullpen, where I can see a lot of desks and offices. And just like my floor, it is almost empty. Anyway, I see one of the offices with lights on. My instinct tells me that's the place I'm looking for, and the plaque at the door confirms my suspicions: SSA Aaron Hotchner.
"Come in," a voice comes from the office when I knock.
Peeking inside, a stern-looking man is glancing in my direction. "Can I help you?" he asks with a slight frown.
"Yes, sir. I'm with the Finance Division, and my boss asked me to bring this to you," I explain as I reach out to hand him the folder. When he grabs it, realization washes over the man.
"Of course. Thank you very much-" Agent Hotchner trails off.
"(Y/L/N)," I supply, knowing he wants my last name.
"Thank you very much, Agent (Y/L/N)."
Weird. 
Everyone in the finance and administrative department refers to each other only by last name. We use the 'agent' thing mainly with those who do the fieldwork, and we are used to that.
"You're welcome, Agent Hotchner," I smile politely, ready to leave the man's office. He nods approvingly.
"Hotch, sorry for interrupting you, but I'm ready with my report. I thought you wanted it-"
A man talks, entering abruptly at the office. He stops in his tracks when he sees Agent Hotchner isn't alone.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were with someone. I can come back later," he apologizes.
Wait. I know that voice. 
I turn, and I see Spencer standing there. His eyes meet mine, and I feel my cheeks burn. He doesn't say anything but doesn't tear his eyes from mine.
I don't know how many seconds pass, but it's enough for Agent Hotchner to intervene.
"Reid?" he calls Spencer's attention.
"Uh?"
"The report. It's okay; you can give it to me," he tells Spencer, not without subtly bouncing his gaze between us.
"Oh. Okay." Spencer approaches Hotchner's desk, but he still directs glances at me. I want to say hi to him properly, but it doesn't feel okay knowing the man in front of us is undoubtedly his boss. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. So, I take that as my cue to leave.
"If you excuse me," I tell Agent Hotchner, signaling my departure. Spencer looks at me, and I give him a subtle smile.
"Of course. Thank you again, Agent (Y/L/N)."
"To you, sir. Have a good evening."
I walk down the stairs to the open bullpen and toward the elevator.
Before I can push the go-down button, a voice calls my name. It's Spencer's.
"(Y/N), wait!"
I turn and see him trotting towards me.
"Hi!" he says once we are face to face.
Now I feel bad. Spencer comes here to say hi, and I didn't greet him properly just two minutes ago. 
"Spencer, hi. I'm sorry, I should have said something there, but I didn't know if you wanted him to know- I mean, I supposed he was your boss, and I-"
What's wrong with me? 
Why can't I explain myself without stumbling with my words?
"No. No. Don't apologize. It's okay. I should have told you something, too. But I didn't expect to see you here."
"Me neither. My boss sent me here instead of one of my coworkers, who left early. I didn't know this was the BAU floor. What a coincidence, uh?" I play cool, shifting my weight from one foot to another. Spencer nods in agreement.
"Totally. It's good to see you, though. I hoped we could cross paths again."
Isn't it weird that his words have produced a funny tingle in my stomach right now?
"Is that so?" I half-breath, noticing his cheeks turn a shade of pink.
"Yes. I mean, I truly enjoyed talking to you that night," he sheepishly admits.
I more than enjoyed it, Spencer.
"Yeah, me too."
Silence sets between us. And it's time to make a decision. I could say I go home and leave him with a lukewarm 'See you around,' or say I'm leaving, but before doing so, give Spencer my number so we can talk soon. Or...
"Are you busy right now? I'm heading home now, but if you can and want, we can go for a coffee."
Wow (Y/N). Very smooth. I like you smooth.
Spencer's eyes widened, and I wondered for a second if my offer was too straightforward.
"If you have plans, it's okay. We don't have to," I relent.
"Oh, no. I don't. And I would love to go for a coffee with you," Spencer hastens to say. I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Yeah?"
"Sure! If you wait for me just a second, I'll pick my things from my desk, and we can go."
----
This time, it's my turn to pick the place.
It's a small coffee shop in the middle of Virginia, just mid-way between Quantico and my apartment.
As we get on the train, I ask Spencer about Agent Hotchner.
"Hotch? Well, he has been at the unit for twelve years now. Gideon, a former agent, told me once he didn't expect Hotch to last long in the BAU. But he proved him wrong. Indeed, Gideon left, and Hotch stayed. Honestly, I can't picture the BAU with another unit chief."
There is a fondness when Spencer talks about Hotchner. I can tell he sees him more than as a superior.
"What about yours?"
Now is my turn to talk about my boss.
"Agent Williams? He is a bureaucrat from head to toe. He had just transferred from another administrative department when I joined the financial division four years ago. At that time, he had ten years working with the FBI. The guy is a genius but lacks social skills. I'm not judging him; I'm a bit like him. But in his position, he needs to make politics, which involves talking and convincing people."
The conversation with Spencer flows so well and easily that I'm as impressed as I was the night of the gala. 
When we reach the coffee shop, we sit facing each other. After ordering our coffee, we start talking about our coworkers.
"So Garcia is our technical analyst. I have to say she is like the team's heart. Besides her outstanding skills, her compassion and care are something out of this world," Spencer admits, and again, I feel the fondness in his voice.
"She seems very special," I add. Spencer nods.
"Very. I don't know what it's like to have a sister, but if I had one, I would have liked someone like her.
So he doesn't have a sister. Does he have brothers, though? We have yet to talk about our families, so this is the first piece of information I get about it.
"What about the guy who came to check what was happening with your girl at the gala?" I ask, and Spencer scoff.
"First of all, Ashley isn't my girl. I think she made it pretty clear that night. And secondly, the guy in question is Morgan, the culprit of why I was with Ashley in the first place."
That's interesting. I want to know more about that.
"How is that?" I ask, sipping my coffee.
Spencer tells me how Morgan insisted they talk to the girls - Ashley and her friends - and how he reluctantly followed him.
I'm about to make a not-so-kind remark when Spencer gets ahead of me.
"I know it may seem like he is a thoughtless person, but he truly means well. I can't entirely agree with his tactics most of the time, but he's right when he tells me I should enjoy more and work less."
"It's safe to say you weren't 'enjoying' that much there," I quip, air-quoting the word 'enjoying.' Spencer chuckles.
"Yeah. Honestly? I have more fun when Morgan kicks doors down in our field chases than when he tries to play wingman for me."
What? Kick doors down?
"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that the FBI had to spend thousands of dollars in repairs for third parties last year because of him?"
I know I'm being dramatic. It's impossible that just one agent destroyed that amount of dollars by kicking doors. But still.
Spencer's eyes widen.
"What? No! I mean, yes. He does that, but thousands of dollars? Last time I checked, doors are not that expensive."
I roll my eyes. That's not the point.
"Okay. I know it's not only Agent Morgan's doing, but did you know the buro's budget had increased by 4% last year due to refunds for field operations? And did you know 70% of that increase refers to agents shattering private property?"
Now, I sound like my boss. Great. I became what I swore to destroy.
Spencer looks at me with amusement. I narrow my eyes to him. "What?"
He clears his throat. "Oh. No, nothing. It's just - well, it's fascinating to hear you talking about - uh - numbers."
I can't help but snort. "Come on, how fascinating that can be?"
Spencer grins. "If anything, I find it educative," he parrots my words from that night, and we fall into a fit of laughs.
"Yeah?" I muse after the laughter subsides. Spencer nods, still a smile gracing his face.
Gosh, that smile.
"Well, I can talk about numbers all day. But I'm sure you don't want me to 'fascinate' you that much."
Spencer hums, faking be pondering his options.
"Don't tempt me. I like to know and talk about everything. But before returning to numbers, I want to ask about your coworkers. I already talked much about mine."
Even if there is not much to say, indulging him with an answer is only fair.
"What can I say? In my area, there are three: Anthony, Leah, and me. We were four then, but Andie was promoted to the eighth floor a year ago. Anthony is a good guy, a little inexperienced, but very eager to learn. We don't have a very close relationship, but he's my protegee at work. Leah is very clever and has enough experience, but sometimes she is not present, making things a little tense between us. Andie is rightfully my friend. We got to the bureau simultaneously, and although she doesn't work with us anymore, we are very close."
Spencer is looking at me with full attention. It's odd to talk about this kind of thing with someone. I don't like to talk about my bonds in general. It makes me feel vulnerable. But for a reason that I still don't get, with Spencer, it feels right.
It's night already, and we are in our third coffee.
"Do you usually drink this amount of coffee daily at this hour? I try to cut off my dosis after lunch, but sometimes I just can't," I point as I stir the spoon on my coffee. Spencer hums.
"I drink a lot of it at any time of the day, every day. It's worse when we are on cases because that shitty coffee at the precincts should not even be called coffee," he scoffs, pouring half of the sugar pot into his cup.
I have already noticed the amount of sugar Spencer has used in his two previous coffees; this third is not the exception.
"I'm sorry, but I have to ask," I say as my eyes dart to his sweet liquid. He follows my line of sight and chuckles.
"I love coffee, but I don't like its bitterness. I know it doesn't make sense, but for me it does."
"Fair enough."
After that, our conversation stumbles to lousy sleep habits.
"Ray hated it. Even once, he told me I purposely got up in the middle of the night to annoy him."
Spencer's brow furrows.
"Ray is your ex?"
Shit. I don't realize I'm talking about him.
Why do I have to mention him? I hate how ingrained he is still in my life.
"Yeah, Raymond. No wonder why things didn't work out between us," I try to joke because I don't want to cry about it anymore.
"An example of a man," Spencer follows my lead, and I'm grateful he doesn't look at me like people usually do when I talk about it. There is no pity. There is no that look saying, 'Oh, poor girl who got cheated on.' It's like a whole understanding. It doesn't make me feel like a failure. And that's a change—a good one.
I chuckle. "Hell, he is."
It's getting late, and it's time to part ways, even if I don't want it. Hours pass quickly with such good company.
"We should get going. It's late," I point as I glance at my phone. Spencer nods in acknowledgment, signaling the waitress to get the check. He is about to fish his wallet when I stop him.
"No. Don't do that. I invited you."
Spencer scoffs, opening his wallet nonetheless. 
"No way. You invited me the other night. You can do it next time."
Next time, uh? I want to say something teasing, but the waitress returns with our check.
We are outside the coffee shop now. I adjust my coat as Spencer does the same with his suit jacket. The night is chilly, and the contrast with the warmth of the coffee shop is evident.
"Can I walk you home?" He offers. I have my doubts about that. It's not that I don't like the idea; I just don't want to use more of his time.
"You don't have to. Really," I shake my head.
"Please? You already said it. It's pretty late," he insists, looking at me with dog puppy eyes. 
Why is he doing that? He is testing my resolve.
"You know I can take care of myself, right? I'm a certificated FBI agent. I can't carry a gun, but sure I could manage," I argue in a teasing tone. Spencer chuckles.
"I know you are. And I'm sure you could. Even though, why no to prolong our evening for fifteen minutes long?" I raise an eyebrow.
"So you really like my company, uh?" 
I'm sure I see a blush creeping his cheeks, and it's endearing.
"I like your company. I thought I made it pretty clear the other night?" he probes. And I don't know how to respond to that.
The truth is quite curious. Teasing Spencer seems so natural sometimes, but now I don't know what to say.
I decide not to say anything and nod, motioning for us to start walking.
Spencer follows me, and we walk in silence for the first block. Then, I feel the need to continue our conversation. I want these fifteen minutes to be as good as the previous two hours.
"Did you know that I used to carry a gun? Although it took me three failed tests to do so."
Spencer looks at me, surprised. I take that as my cue to tell that story.
Once I tell him how I finally managed to pass my shooting test, he starts telling me how he also failed his test a couple of times.
"So you saved your boss life shooting an unsub?" Spencer nods.
"But I really aimed to his leg, not his head," he adds, and we burst into a fit of laughter.
Without realizing it, we are already in front of my building. The laughter subsides when we notice where we are.
I clear my throat. "Well. Uh-thank you. Again," I say, referring to him walking me home.
"No need," Spencer says. "I had a good time today," he adds, smiling. 
I can't help but feel my cheeks burn. Spencer casts his eyes to the ground.
"Me too," I admit, biting my bottom lip. "I - uh."
Why am I so nervous right now? Just say what you want to say!
"I - uh. I'd really like to do this again. I mean, you know, maybe next time could be something planned?"
Spencer's eyes flick to mine. I would say he didn't expect me to say that.
"I would love that," he says, keeping eye contact. And for a moment, I think the breath leaves my lungs. Those eyes are something I didn't see in my life before. I can't describe it, but it's enough to make me speechless.
"I guess it's here when I ask for your number?" Spencer's voice is the one that brings me out of the trance.
I chuckle, mid-embarrassed by my absorption moment. I gesture for him to give me the phone. Spencer does it, and I advert his piercing gaze to focus on typing my number. Once done, I return the device with a playful smile. Jeez, I feel like a damn teenager.
A snort leaves Spencer's lips when he sees the name I used for my contact.
"Really?" He asks. I nod, chuckling.
"It's safe to say you won't forget who I am," I confirm.
"Bet I won't."
"Good. Now I'm going to come up," I gesture to the building. "Good night, Spencer."
"Good night, (Y/N)."
I turn to enter the building, and although I can't see him, I feel him standing there in the cold night until I disappear into the elevator.
Once I cross the threshold of my apartment, a ding comes from my phone. Frowning, I pick it up.
Unknown number: Are you free on Saturday at midday? We could go to lunch. Let me know. Good night. SR.
I bit my lower lip. And after typing a reply, I start my night routine before bed.
Oh, boy. What are you getting into (Y/N)? 
Whatever it is, it feels so good.
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A/N 2: As always, I'm excited to know your thoughts about this one!
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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers
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whenmemorydies · 3 days
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Violence and Love in Monkey Man
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Dev Patel's Monkey Man has played at my mind for two weeks now. This is for reasons that I'm able to articulate and for many that I probably have not yet been able to find the words for. This post is, in part, my attempt at sorting through some of my thoughts. My tumblr is all spoilers all the time. If you don’t want that, then please don’t read on.
Violence
Like most places in the world, systemic violence is a scourge in India. Monkey Man does not shy away from this reality and depicts Hindu nationalist state violence and violence against women and gendered minorities in the country to chilling effect.
We come to see this in the brutal rape and murder of Kid's activist mother at the hands of the police, while she tries to shield her child and her land from police and state terror. We see it in the treatment of (largely femme-presenting) sex workers in the two brothels featured in the film, including one frequented by the police and political elite. We see it in the violence and ostracisation meted out against the hijra, or third gender community by individual actors and the state more broadly. We see it in the state-orchestrated razing of an entire community after the land on which it sits is declared a "holy site". We see it in the movement of people from the regions to the city after their land has been stolen and the grinding poverty they face as a result.
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Unlike so many action films, none of the violence in Monkey Man occurs in a vacuum. Even Kid's original means of making money in an underground fighting ring is done against the backdrop of his forced displacement from regional India to the city - a migration pathway that many in the country have been forced to take and which is a direct result of land theft and resource extraction in the regions by local and multinational corporations as well as federal and state governments.
The truth is that so much in relation to state and societal control is enacted in painful and violent ways on the bodies of the marginalised and oppressed. And I often think about how the horror and action genres are some of the best suited to speak about systemic injustice because of their capacity to make that violence uncompromisingly visible (one recent example is Mike Flanagan’s Midnight Mass which depicted the bloody fallout of the Christian missionary/colonial project in vivid crimson, splashed all over a non-descript maritime town in present-day America). The violence in Monkey Man is no different.
While Kid's realisation of the interconnectedness and heavy hand of the state not just in the violence experienced by his mother, but also by the hijra, and by sex workers like Sita comes later in the movie, we as the audience are given this insight earlier. Recall Kid pointing out to Sita that her tattoo is of a koel, not a sparrow as originally misidentified by the Australian client sexually assaulting her minutes earlier in the film.
Kid goes on to say that he grew up in the forest and woke up to koels singing everyday. Its the longest conversation that the two have but in those brief words, we understand that Sita too has likely been displaced to the city from the regions, probably under very similar circumstances to Kid. The way this displacement maps itself onto her body is distinctive to how it does so for Kid, with gender playing a large role in this.
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Other factors like caste, class and religion also impact on how the characters in this film experience or perpetrate violence. I would write more on these intersections but then this post is going to get more unwieldy than it already is.
I will say though, that in India, where fascist Hindu nationalism is being used by government to harm minority communities, steal land and secure populist votes, Patel makes a distinction between revelatory and weaponised faith. Kid is raised in peace by his mother with the former, but as an adult he lives in a world where the latter has taken hold and is being used by those in power to shore up more of that power for themselves.
For me - as the descendant of parents, grandparents and great grandparents who lived through anti-Tamil pogroms led by Sinhalese chauvinists weaponising Buddhism as part of their fascism in Sri Lanka, who like the rest of us, is living in an election year for Hindu nationalist Prime Minister Narendra Modi in India, and who is also frustratingly, helplessly bearing witness as the state of Israel and it’s allies conflate Zionism with Judaism in defence of the genocide being waged against Palestinians - watching this action film make the distinction between revelatory and weaponised faith was profound.
Love
Patel makes it a point in this film to show how Kid's most nourishing relationships, the ones that sustain him - indeed the ones that literally save his life - are those that he has with women and with people who don’t conform to the gender binary. In doing this, we see what Kid is fighting tooth (quite literally) and nail for throughout the film. We see what is at stake - what we stand to lose - if perpetrators get to rule without accountability.
Its also no mistake that these relationships are all tied visually to the natural world in the film: Kid's mother's deep ties to the earth, rivers, trees and roots that she leads him through as a child. Alpha and the hijra's sanctuary, the Ardhanareeshvara temple with its most sacred space being the roots of a holy tree. Sita and her koel tattoo: the memory of the forest carried on her skin while she traverses the brutal reality of the city. Patel is making a point here too. About nourishment of another kind, through our connection with the earth instead of extraction from it. The visuals in the film drive this point home, particularly when contrasted with the industrialisation and poverty of the city.
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Two particular loving relationships that stood out for me were the love shared between Kid and the hijra community as well as between him and his mother.
Alpha, hijra Elder and the hijra community
Keeper of the Ardhanareeshvara Temple and hijra Elder, Alpha becomes a mother-figure to Kid after he is rescued with near-fatal injuries. It is Alpha who keeps watch over him as he recovers, helps Kid to confront the totality of his past memories which his trauma has kept fragmented, and who ultimately leads a veritable hijra army to join forces with him to assassinate some fascists.
Alpha's gentleness with Kid was so moving to see, in particular during the conversation they have about his attempt as a child to save his mother from the fire set by her rapist and murderer. That exchange moved me to tears.
Kid: I failed her.
Alpha: No. You tried to save her. You see scars. I see the courage of a child fighting to save his mother.
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The wider hijra community at the temple also take Kid in and care for him during his recovery. Truly, the scenes at the temple were some of my favourite in Monkey Man. Outside of his memories of his mother, they are the only scenes where we see love, peace and joy on the faces of any of the characters in this film.
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Also witness this moment of delight below as the hijra at the temple appreciate a fine ass man channelling his righteous anger and fucking up a punching bag full of rice. I note that the music during this training montage is simply stunning. Ustad Zakir Hussain's rapid fire tablas punctuated by each of Patel's landed punches and kicks and then followed by Jed Kurzel's achingly soaring instrumentals (listen to "The Kid" from the movie's score) were just *chef’s kiss*.
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Another favourite moment for me was when Kid decides to go back to the underground fight ring one last time and not throw his matches (as he had been doing prior). He bets on himself and when he inevitably wins his fights, he takes the money and gives it to the hijra, ensuring that they can continue to live at the temple without fear of being evicted. We love to see a man who literally pays his rent.
Neela, his mother
Kid’s first teacher and the center of his life as a child. In almost every memory we are shown of her, Kid remembers his mother walking through a forest, sharing her ecological and religious knowledge with him and in doing so, positioning him within the wider world.
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GIF by dailyflicks
We watch as he takes this understanding with him forward through the remainder of the film. His conversation as an adult with Alphonso as they drive through the city in the latter's tuk tuk is emblematic of this. "They don't even see us", Kid says of the elite who frequent the club where he has just gained employment, "they're all up there living and we are stuck in this."
His mother showed him what it was to live: to be still and in concert with the world and the Divine around you, to be loved fiercely, and to thrive as a result. This is in stark contrast to what Kid has had to learn to do in the city: to survive, to merely exist. He is never depicted resting or at home as an adult. He's always working, hustling and planning for the next thing, his next step. When he loses his village, his land and his mother as a child, Kid also inevitably loses his sense of home. It’s no coincidence that the tracks “Home” and “Mother” on the movie’s score sound almost identical.
Later at the end of the film, we see Kid close his eyes, having done what he set out to do. The last thing he sees is his mother, smiling at him in the forest. Her face is the face of God he gazes at before he succumbs to his injuries. This devotion to his mother is not just that of a child to a parent. Its also deeply tied to his Hindu faith which calls on its followers to honour the Divine Mother, the supreme feminine energy, Aathi Parashakthi, in all her manifestations including in those who mother us.
The movie ends with Kid’s deep, revelatory faith - instilled in him by his mother - and with the death of the man who weaponised that faith for power and wealth. It left all of us in the cinema seated in stunned silence even as the credits began to roll.
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To describe Monkey Man as simply a revenge film does it an absolute disservice. This is not revenge. It is defence borne out of deep love for community and righteous opposition to injustice. Seeing hijra warriors dressed as Kali, the goddess of destruction, dealing death blows against fascists while spinning in the most beautiful lenghas was exhilarating (I literally screamed “YESSSSSSS!” at the screen when they arrived). Seeing Sita take out pimp and sex trafficker Queenie got me cackling and yelling “whoooop!”. Seeing Kid, a masculine character act to defend women and people outside of the gender binary, from further systemic harm without any ulterior motive was absolutely unreal to witness on the big screen. Seeing a person of faith act in deep connection to that faith without judgment against anyone but those who perpetrate harm made me feel hopeful in a way that took me by surprise. Kid acted out of love and respect. I would argue that Sita, the hijra and Kid all acted out of recognition of a shared humanity.
And at a time when folks from marginalised communities are being subjected to horrendous violence worldwide, both interpersonal and systemic, watching the oppressed take their perpetrators out…and I mean out (see: a rapist and murderer getting bludgeoned to death with a glittery high heel and a fascist, self-proclaimed “holy man” being stabbed in his third eye by the blade he hid in his own “sacred” pathankal/paduka), well, it was cathartic to see.
Am I saying violence is the answer to systemic violence? I think the answer to that question is context-specific. Non-violent resistance has a place, but it’s by necessity a performance and requires an audience. What do you do when no one’s watching? What do you do when the people who are watching are doing nothing to stop your suffering? What then? These questions are what many liberals refuse to grapple with because the answers are too uncomfortable for their polite sensibilities. But if you keep your foot on someone's neck long enough, you should expect them to fight back, by any means necessary. In Monkey Man, we have an action film where we get to witness that resistance in all its visceral glory.
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 2 days
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Hiii! It's me :D
Anyways can I request a whitebeard pirates x fem child reader?
Reader is a clone of whitebeard having his haki and devil fruit ability (like the seraphims) basically reader is a little insane from being stuck in a lab
The reason why whitebeard has a clone because reader is a weapon for the Marines
Reader is a bit rude and a brat because she's scared of adults
Let's say back in marineford they tried forcing reader to fight back at whitebeard but whitebeard just scoop her up and took her back to the Moby dick (thatch, ace and whitebeard lives)
Reader has a brand on the back of her neck 'W. B CLONE' (whitebeard clone)
Reader also wear a pair of season earrings because she hated using her devil fruit abilities
So basically the whitebeard pirates are doing everything to get reader better because she suffered mental, emotional, and physical pain
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(Can you also base reader of this? Reader is kinda base of my oc hehe)
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Oh and reader has a sentient plush that listen to her commands and is mute
Don't forget to eat sleep and drink! Have a good day!
-Nobody knew why a child was on the battlefield at Marineford, one that looked like a little doll, holding a stuffed rabbit toy, dressed in a delicate looking dress with bows and lace.
-You were on the side of the marines, but you looked almost angry, like you were upset as the scientist beside you, your handler, shouted at you, “Attack them!!”
-The pirates were appalled, seeing a child soldier, one so young looking, being commanded.
-The scientist lifted his hand to strike you, to get you moving and the moment you flinched, Whitebeard’s giant fist slammed into his face, sending him flying.
-You could feel the pressure he was exerting, Haki from what you remembered as you were facing away from Whitebeard, seeing where the scientist landed, and Whitebeard saw the brand on the back of your neck.
-He had been hearing rumors that the government had been cloning strong pirates and marines, to create an unstoppable army. And this brand was something he had seen in the reports he had been receiving, realizing that you were a clone.
-You turned back, and you squeaked as he instantly scooped you up before leaping back to his ship, putting you safely on the figurehead, “Stay here. You’ll be safe.”
-You didn’t believe him, all your life, despite being so short, you had grown not to trust adults, they were the ones who beat you, who locked you up, starving you, forcing you to hurt others, and with it, your mind broke, becoming a bit unhinged.
-You did stay however, as you saw the scientists and marines who had been so mean to you, trying to get to the ship, telling you to come back to them.
-This was your chance to escape and finally be free!
-When Ace was freed and all pirates were retreating, you grabbed your rabbit, feeling a little scared as all the pirates made it back, including the giant man who grabbed you earlier.
-As you started to sail away, many were looking over at you, before you heard a sound, “Let’s go back Y/N~”
-You turned, seeing Kizaru there and your eyes went wide as you took a step back in slight fear, not wanting to go back to the lab, while the men behind you were ready to charge in.
-Kizaru ran for you, and you clenched your eyes shut, throwing a hand towards him in a slapping motion and instantly he hit a wall, being blown back, just like Whitebeard’s ability, making jaws drop as you sent Kizaru flying.
-Everyone turned to you, eyes wide in shock as you sniffled softly, tears trying to well in your eyes. You hated using your ability, if felt weird and it made you tired.
-Marco came over and you instantly bristled, “Stay back pineapple head!”
-Your sassy words stunned everyone as quickly everyone was roaring with laughter while Marco was trying not to be mad at you as he kneeled, “What is your name?”
-You immediately bit back, “What’s it to you?” okay… you were kind of a brat, but Whitebeard spoke next, “You don’t need to act like this any longer, you’re safe here.”
-You didn’t bite back to Whitebeard, who was looking down at you like you were a shy little rabbit, now knowing that you were his clone, as you had his abilities, and his white hair. You knew this as well, as you had seen him fighting, using the same ability you had.
-Whitebeard turned to all the others on the ship, “Everyone- this is my daughter and your new sister, Y/N!” the ship was quickly filled with cheers, and you felt weird, why were they so happy you were with them as you glared, “Who says I’m your daughter?”
-He ruffled your hair gently, surprising you as you were expecting to be hit, your eyes going wide, which some of them saw, making them curious, and angry, about what you had dealt with.
-Whitebeard just chuckled softly, seeing the front you were putting up, “I do- so let’s go on an adventure together!” You knew about adventures, reading about them in your picture books as tears quickly welled in your eyes.
-Ace came over with a teasing grin, “Aww is our little sister crying?” you instantly glared, holding your bunny up like you were going to beat him with it, “I’m not crying!” They just laughed, thinking you were cute.
-You still didn’t trust them yet, but so far, they were being nice to you and not hurting you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stay with them for a while.
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overwatch ratings based on how they would date
did this a while ago but spent too much time on it for it to not be posted. this is just a personal opinion and personal ratings based off lore and bias tbh. this will be updated with every hero (if I remember to lol)
Tanks:
D.VA: 6/10. Caring and loving, fun gaming dates, but gets recognized a lot, and if it came down to it she’d choose her job to protect south korea over her lover
Doomfist: 4/10. He’d be a gentleman but probably only in it for sex or to be a sugar daddy. He’d treat his “lover” with respect tho so not a total loss i guess.
Junker Queen: 7/10. After the shit she’s been thru i think she doesnt really want a partner cuz shes afraid they’re just using her to get to the throne or that she’ll lose them. She’s protective and caring but also a bit overprotective to the point where it’s like okay calm down. Also might get into a few fights but eh.
Orisa: 0/10. she thinks it would be cute to be in a relationship but knows she cant be in one due to being the “protector of numbani”. so no.
Ramattra: 8/10. Deadass depends if it’s an omnic or not. If his lover is an omnic he will cherish them and take care of them, knowing that they’re one of the few things he loves in this life. If it’s a human then theres some. Problems. He doesnt open up easily and while he’s still protective and caring he can sometimes get very distant towards them because he fears that they only got close to him to use him or kill him.
Reinhardt: 9/10: Perfect gentleman. Treats you with respect and love, and cherishes you no matter what. -1 is because he can be really loud sometimes even when he doesnt mean to be
Roadhog: 5/10. I think of him as aroace but he would try and give it a shot just to feel what it’s like. Hes very quiet but also very calm. He would listen to his lover and do his best to help them, but he moves around a lot thanks to junkrat now and might cut off communication with you just to keep you safe when he's on the run
Sigma: 5/10. A real gentleman, would treat his lover with respect and kindness and love. Only downside is when he has one of his mind breaks and breakdowns. He forgets who he is and just focuses on violence. Also his control of gravity in that state is very fucky so if he’s having a breakdown his lover might get throw to the ground. He feels like jackshit afterwards and probably realizes it’s best not to have someone he cares about so close to him
Wrecking Ball: 0/10 no. he would simply not even if he wanted to. Aroace hampter 
Winston: maybe a 1/10. i feel like he doesnt want a romantic relationship with anybody and just wants friends (aroace monke)
Zarya: 6/10. Protective and caring but would focus too much on her job. would also pick her country over her lover if it did come down to it
Mauga: 8/10: Would treat his lover right and give them anything they asked for. Free beach house, gifts, and a loving, protective, obsessive bf. -2 because slight yandere vibes and can get too possesive-
Damage:
Ashe: 6/10. Partners in crime kinda thing but if you’re not really into that stuff she’s probably not that into you. She has BOB watching you when she cant during a fight but shes always next to you when she can be.
Bastion: 0/10. Dude just wants to live in the woods with his bird he doesnt want that stuff.
Cassidy: 8/10. Southern sweetheart. Treats his partner with love and respect. Only downside is that he’d be out a lot doing his job, but he would let somebody else do it to be with you if it’s a special occasion or if he really wants to stay with you.
Echo: 2/10. Not big on romance but would try it out for science. Sadly in the end it’s not real love so. Oof
Genji: 9/10. Probably doesn’t want a relationship at first because of his body but he gets used to it and opens up his heart. Honestly very good boyfriend would be there to listen and help you with stuff. -1 cuz he might be out doing overwatch stuff a lot and also might not be the most exciting person to be around if you're a hyper person.
Hanzo: 6/10. Can’t see him getting in a relationship after everything thats happened but if he did he’d be kinda bad at it but you could tell that he’s trying his best.
Junkrat: 5/10. I love him but i cant really see him *staying* in a relationship for long. He doesn’t know how to stop sometimes and can get really annoying really quick but he loves making things for his lover and would do his best to keep them away from the dangerous bombs. He loves them a lot but doesn’t know how to turn the love down. Really clingy so if youre into that cool.
Mei: 9/10. Absolute sweetheart. Loves you to bits and takes you out to her favorite restaurants and stuff. -1 cuz you had to have a long distance relationship due to her being in Antarctica and the fact she slept for years with no communication with her lover-
Phara: 4/10. Cares about her job more but would be an okay girlfriend, doing the basics.
Reaper: 1/10. He’s done with love and would probably just just be a sugar daddy or just be there for sex. Even if he did find himself feeling something he’d ignore it and move on
Sojourn:5/10. Not interested in dating or finding love but if it finds her she’ll go for it. Pretty nice girlfriend, makes sure to take care of her lover but does focus on her job a lot more sometimes.
Soldier:76: 0/10. Not interested and has made sure to break off any past relationships. Doesn’t want the people he cares about to get hurt. So he still cares but doesnt go see them.
Somba: 7/10. Would be a pretty good girlfriend if she wanted to have a relationship. She keeps all people she cares about far away and unaware of her deeds at Talon. So a long distance relationship until she can take some time off to go see her lover and vibe.
Symmetra: 3/10. Doesn’t know how to even start a relationship and doesn’t really want to. Her job is important to her so she wouldn’t want distractions from it.
Torbjorn: 6/10. His wife and him had a few children and have been married for a while so he’s probably got the whole love thing covered.
Tracer: 9/10. Probably one of the best on this list. She’s loving and caring and makes sure to spend a lot of time with her partner. 
Widowmaker: 3/10. Last partner she had was um. killed by her so. +3 if you could break down her walls and see the real her but very low chance
Venture: 8.5/10: Would talk to you about rocks, fossils, and everything else they can think about. They’d even let you name rocks around the house. -2 cuz they’ll talk your ear off about rocks n stuff while also bouncing around everywhere. They can also be gone for long periods of time but always makes sure to call. If you can deal with the infodumping and adhd then 9.5/10 for you 
Support:
Ana: 5/10. She doesn’t want a relationship but she’d be very loving and caring to her lover.
Baptiste: 8/10. Great boyfriend, lovers needs always come first and he’s very open and always has an ear out to listen. -2 because he’s constantly on the run and the relationship could get stressed.
Brigitte: 5/10. Mostly focused on her work but would make a pretty good girlfriend if she finds the right person. The relationship would mostly be a test one because she lowkey doesn’t understand it.
Kiriko: 4/10. Would love to be in a relationship but protecting her home is more important than finding love to her.
Lucio: 9/10. Actual sweetheart. Would make music for you and would cancel shows last second if something came up and you needed something. If you need anything he’ll be there to help.
Mercy: 8/10. She’s really focused on her work but no matter what would take time to come stay with you for a while. -2 because sometimes too focused on work and sometimes doesnt have time to see you for a long time.
Moira: 0/10. Not looking for a relationship and would probably lie just to get you strapped to a table and butchered.
Zenyatta: 7/10. Would make a decent boyfriend but he can’t have relationships due to being a monk. He’d be there to listen and to give advice when you needed it.
Liveweaver: 9/10. Perfect boyfriend in every way. Like no competition. -1 cuz he's on the run from multiple governments so he won't be able to talk all the time or be with you much to his dismay. multiple texts a day tho
Illari: 4/10. Tbh I can't see her getting into a relationship after everything. She's too scared that something will happen with her powers again and hurt her lover
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Hİİİİ YET ANOTHER ANON
Can I ask about Creepypasta ages headcanons in your main AU??
THANK YOU FROM NOW <333
HIIIIIIII NEW ANON, YOU'RE SO SWEET<3333
Okay thank you so much for asking, you guys are literally spoiling me, like I'm having a little heart attack whenever someone asks me something.
I don't want this post just be numbers so I'll give a random fact about main characters' most important birthday day and something about non-human characters, hope you don't mind. It's mostly angst and I'm so sorry about that.
YOU'RE WELCOME AND I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT<333
I know most of the ages sound ridiculous but it's really hard to attach them all together :(
Characters' Ages And Facts About Main Characters' Most Important Birthday
Au's ships: TicciWork, NinaKate, MaryJane and Bloody Angel(probably should've said this earlier)
Current year: 2014
Main characters
-Jeff The Killer: 20
Jeff got burned at the age of 15, at his most important birthday. His parents were seeing a therapist while Liu was still in prison, and his therapist made a suggestion to Jeff's parents to organize a birthday party for cheering Jeff up. Jeff can never forget the day he was burned alive because his whole life was shaped by it. That's why he hates his own birthday and attacks if anyone tries to celebrate besides Liu.
- Clockwork: 20
Clockwork's most important birthday is the 18th age. Because that was the first year she wasn't on her own. Jeff, Toby, Nina were close friends of Clockwork at the time and each had their own small-scale celebration. For the first time, Clockwork didn't hate her own birthday. That's how she got into the habit of celebrating other people's birthdays, if she felt good about something stupid like that, the people who cared about her might also deserve to feel good in a stupid way, or something like that.
- Hoodie: 25
According to Brian, the most important birthday is the one he celebrated at the age of 10. His family had taken him to see a theater as a gift, and little Brian was so impressed that he was literally obsessed with theater performances and musicals after that show. Even though 10-year-old Brian is the reason why he is where he is right now, Hoodie never blames him for following his dream.
- Masky: 26
His most important birthday is the 20th, when he started working under Slenderman's orders. The year he realized that his life would be like this and that he would have to spend more than he hoped in this job, that fighting would only cause him to die sooner. Obviously, he didn't care about himself, he'd rather die than live this way, but he didn't want to leave Brian alone.
- Ticci Toby: 19
15th birthday. The last year he celebrated with Lyra and his mother since he was a proxy at the age of 16, he celebrated rest of his birthdays as a proxy. Toby doesn't remember all of his memories, and although most of the time his memories are more like pieces, he knows that two women named Lyra and Connie are worth worlds to him. And every time the fragments of that birthday come in front of him, he feels nothing but happiness.
-Eyeless Jack: 21
↺Actually, if he was still alive, he would have been 34. Because he was 21 when he died during the ritual in 1980.
The most important birthday is the year he received the letter of admission to medical school at the age of 18. He had received this a letter a few days ago, and he and his family had thrown a big party to celebrate it. Although he spent his 19th birthday, his first year of studying med, with his family, the most important thing for him is his 18th age.
-Jane The Killer: 22
21, when Mary proposed to her on her birthday. Jane was in a very emotionally repressed state after all her trauma, and Mary could no longer control her feelings for her. While Jane and her lover Mary were sitting in a fashionable restaurant, Mary proposed to Jane. And when there was a lot of opposition because the age group was generally old due to the cost of the restaurant, Jane kissed her on the lips so as not to discourage Mary. The best birthday of her life.
-X-Virus: 17
7th age. That year, he had gone to the zoo on a school trip and celebrated his birthday with the animals there instead of people. This is the biggest proof that he prefer animals' existence to humans. Of course, he might have been happier if a monkey hadn't stolen his food, but little Cody wasn't mad at the monkey then. And when the monkey saw that Cody was upset later, he gave him some of his food anyway.
-Nina The Killer: 19
16th birthday. She and Jeff hadn't made up yet and it was a day when she was really hurt emotionally by him. Her close friend Kate, who saw this, tried to kill Jeff. Although Nina could hardly stop her, Kate was convinced later and they went to hang out at Kate's special place together. Kate was a really special friend to Nina, and she liked that she knew that Kate opened herself up so much. And when Kate dropped her home in the evening, she found Toby and Clockwork were clumsily trying to celebrate her birthday, she cried because of cuteness.
-Kate The Chaser: 20
The first year she spent with Nina as a lover, 20th age. They had become lovers a few months ago, and unlike other proxies, Kate did not remember anything about her past, so she had no memories to miss. Nina had known her since she found Jeff at the age of 15 and was after him. They became close friends when Kate was 17 and Nina was 16, and they started dating when Nina was 19 and Kate was 20. Their relationship began when Kate took pity on Nina and helped her, and Nina helped her during difficult times where Kate tried to expertize in proxy work. The year they became lovers, Nina organized a special day just for the two of them, knowing that she wouldn't want a big party, and Kate's favorite moment was when they watched the sunset with one head phone.
Main supporting characters
-Homicidal Liu: 18
-Sally: 13
↺If she was still alive, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1972.
-Ben Drowned: 12
↺If he had continued to live, he would have been 32 years old. He died in 1994.
- Puppeteer: 23
↺ If his heart was still beating, he would have been 37 years old. He died in 2000.
-Zero: 24
-Nurse Ann: 27
↺If her heart had been alive, she would have been 33 years old. She died in 2008.
-Bloody Painter: 17
-Judge Angels: 17
-Mary Vaughn: 22
Supporting characters
-Lulu: 16
-Laughing Jack: 214
↺He was produced in 1800.
-Nightmare Ally: 15
↺If she was still human, she would have been 55 years old. She died in 1974.
- Kagekao: 29
↺If he was still a human, he would have been 34 years old. He died in 2009.
-Rouge: 32
-Jason The Toymaker: 134
↺He was produced in 1880.
-Laughing Jill: 114
↺She was produced in 1900.
Background characters
-Slenderman: 2500+(?)
↺It is not known exactly when he was born, some say that there are drawings of him even in ancient Egypt.
- Emra: 25
↺If she was still alive, she would have been 37 years old. She died in 2002.
-Dr. Smiley: 33
-Cat Hunter: 30
-Zalgo: ?
↺It is estimated that his existence endured back even before the earliest times of humanity.
-Weeping Forest: 16
↺If she had not undergone this change, she would have been 56 years old. She died in 1974.
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panda-writes-kpop · 2 days
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I NEED A FLUFF ALPHABET FOR THE REMAINING 7 MEMBERS OF TWICE, STAT (PREFERABLY STARTING TZUYU AND THEN JIHYO) BUT WHATEVER ORDER YOU CHOOSE IS FINE BY NEED, I JUST NEED OT9 TWICE FLUFF ALPHABET NOWWWWWW--
Tzuyu Fluff Alphabet (Requested!)
a/n: of course, lovely! I am so happy you enjoyed my previous works on the Twice members, and I'm happy to (albeit slowly) work on all of the twice fluff alphabets! ❤️ also final exams are this week, please keep me in your prayers as I attempt to pass three exams. 🥲
tw: none!
♡ Masterlist ♡
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Affection (How do they show their affection? What love language(s) do they use?)
Not wanting to overwhelm you or herself, she chooses to express her love in quick kisses, subtle touches, and small gestures. Tzuyu definitely shows her love in acts of service along with quality time - there’s nothing better than making you smile with a small gesture as the two of you are together.
Beauty (What do they admire about their S/O? What makes their S/O beautiful?)
You can catch her staring at your face a lot, she’ll deny it to the stars and back, however. There’s something so intriguing and comforting about you that she’s drawn to, so she spends a lot of time studying you. Unfortunately, she can get a bit distracted when she stares at your lips and eyes for too long, so make sure to give her a quick kiss to bring her down to Earth.
Comfort (How would they help their S/O if they were having a rough day?)
Wherever she is at the moment, as long as it isn’t work-related or an unskippable commitment, Tzuyu will come to you if you call/text her that you’ve had a rough day. Of course, you’ll tell her that she could’ve just come to see you afterward, but she likes to show you that you’re a priority to her, and she’ll always be here when you need her the most.
Dreams (How do they picture their future with their S/O?)
Tzuyu wants a future where the two of you can share your culture and customs with one another. Whether you’re living in Korea, Taiwan, or your home country, she wants to keep learning everything about you, especially if you’re learning about each other in the process.
Equal (Do they tend to be more dominant or passive in the relationship?)
Tzuyu is the more passive person in the relationship, but she likes to plan small dates and outings together. You may have to do more of the heavy lifting when it comes to planning vacations or longer events (or your wedding :] )
Fight (Would they easily forgive their S/O after a fight? How would a typical fight go?)
Honestly, the two of you don’t get into serious arguments, it’s more so subtle disagreements about smaller issues. You both are quick to resolve the issue, move past it, and prevent any further problems because you don’t want to upset each other in the future.
Gratitude (How grateful are they for everything that their S/O does for them?)
Tzuyu isn’t the most verbal when it comes to her gratitude or praise, so she shows her thanks with small hand squeezes or a short, loving note attached to your fridge. If you catch her in a softer mood, she’ll wrap her arms around you and give you a long back hug as a thank you for everything that you do for her.
Honesty (Do they tend to keep secrets from their S/O, or do they share everything?)
Tzuyu is honest with her partner, but she doesn’t reveal everything immediately. She’s the kind of person who will randomly tell you a childhood story after you mention a topic relating to the story. Although she isn’t a yapper, she will tell you everything over time. You just have to be patient with her.
Inspiration (Did their S/O change them, or was it the other way around?)
You’re inspired by Tzuyu’s hardworking nature. No matter what is in her way, she always works through it with a graceful smile on her face. You find yourself trying to emulate her positive traits, which causes her to tease you at times for “trying too hard”.
Jealousy  (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)
The “bite your tongue and don’t say anything unless you’re extremely uncomfortable” type. You’re an adult, you can handle being around someone your own age who is extremely attractive. Tzuyu doesn’t have to like it, but she quickly gets over it when you give her a small kiss or a quick hug.
Kiss (How often do they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you?)
She doesn’t usually initiate the kiss, so how much you kiss is mostly up to you. If she does kiss you, it’s usually a quick peck to the cheek or your forehead. You can catch her off-guard and turn your head, causing your lips to meet. When this happens, Tzuyu usually deepens the kiss for a bit before shyly backing away from you.
Lazy Day (How do they like to spend days off with their S/O?)
Tzuyu likes to both stay in and go out when you both have a day off to spend with one another. You might sleep in late, all cuddle together, before going out to eat and do a little shopping before visiting an amusement park. You head back in the evening and watch your favorite show/movie as you fall asleep next to one another.
Marriage (Do they want to get married? How often do they think about marrying their S/O?)
It isn’t a constant thought in Tzuyu’s mind until she stares at you one day and thinks about how much she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Then it nags at her for a bit before she confronts you, and you end up talking about what you want from your futures with each other.
Nicknames (What do they call their S/O?)
Babe, honey, darling
Standard, simple, and sweet, or she’ll just call you by your name if she wants to tease/annoy you.
On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it extremely obvious to others?)
Tzuyu is mostly herself when she’s head over heels for you, except she may talk about you more often than her other friends or family, which gives people the hint pretty early on that you’re more than friends. Or she has a small Freudian slip and calls you her partner casually to her friends and family who had no idea that she was dating you.
PDA (Are they very upfront with their relationship, or do they prefer to keep things quiet?)
Tzuyu likes for most of her relationship to remain private, but she doesn’t mind sharing pictures or videos to social media for friends and family. She also tells them about you, whether it’s basic information, a fun story, or something romantic that you did for her.
Quirk (Some random personality trait that makes them an excellent partner.)
Tzuyu is respectful of you and your boundaries. Although she doesn’t move fast in any relationship, if you happen to want to move slower with her, she’ll happily do so for you. She always asks if it’s okay to kiss or touch you, especially if it’s the first time that you show affection to one another.
Romance (Are they a born romantic ready to woo their S/O at any moment, or do they struggle to spark romantic moments with their S/O?)
Tzuyu lies in a comfortable middle ground between the two options. She’s not a natural born romantic, but she’s not unable to spark romantic moments. If the mood calls for it, she’s willing to step up to the plate and be more romantic with you.
Support (How do they help support their S/O to reach their goals?)
She leaves small notes for you around the house and, if possible, quietly tells you how amazing you are and how you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it. Tzuyu’s going to be there for you, no matter if you succeed or fail, just as you’ve been for her.
Thrill (Do they like trying out new things to spice up their relationship, or do they prefer to stick to a routine?)
Tzuyu likes to stick to routine, but she isn’t against you trying to spice up the relationship every once and a while. Bring her to a new restaurant or place that you can explore together.
Understanding (How well do they know their partner?)
Tzuyu has a deep understanding of you that’s come from being around you and admiring you from afar. She notices and appreciates your smallest quirks as much as your loudest personality traits. 
Value (How important is the relationship to the person versus other relationships and things in their life?)
She tries to hold everything to equal value - her job, her romantic relationship, her familial relationships, and her platonic ones - but sometimes one has to come over another for a small period of time. You’ll always be important to her since you’re the one she wants to spend the rest of her time with.
Wild Card (A random fluffy headcanon that you have about the relationship?)
When you slip up and make a funny mistake, she won’t point and laugh or record you doing so. Instead, she softly exhales and teases you for a bit before helping you clean up.
XOXO (Do they like to kiss, hug, and cuddle you? How often do they do so?)
Although she won’t often initiate it, Tzuyu does like to hug, kiss, and cuddle you. She cuddles up to you every night you spend together, and when you’re watching movies or TV. Hugs are often her choice of greeting or comfort, along with a quick kiss.
Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?)
Tzuyu usually dives into her work, hobbies, or other projects while you’re away. She does call you every night and will FaceTime you if you’re up to do so. She knows you’ll come back to her, it’s only a matter of time.
Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)
She doesn’t often say it, but Tzuyu will go to great lengths for the relationship. She’d sacrifice a lot for the two of you, but you have to show some appreciation or sacrifices of your own in order to make her invest fully in the relationship.
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mcuamerica · 2 days
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The Shadowsinger: Four
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Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. mentions of abuse/violence, implied SA, aftermath of the Sangravagh attack, Tamlin is mentioned, mention of death, ACOTAR series spoilers. If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Pairings: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your first day of training with Azriel ends with you helping priestesses heal after an attack on their temple.
Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters or plot lines, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.
My graphics are my own. If you wish to use them, please give credit!
Series Masterlist
Prologue - One - Two - Three
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After hours of training, you went down to the dining room with Azriel to eat lunch. “I think my legs might fall off.” You muttered as you sat down, wincing slightly as you adjusted your wings. You spent the whole first half of the day learning how to balance for a fight and then practicing fighting stances. You didn’t even make a fist until the last hour, and barely got into punches and jabs before Azriel called it for lunch.
He chuckled, sitting down across from you. “It can’t be that horrible, but if it is, I’ve got some good solvents for you to add to your bath. And a few oils.” He said.
“Are you suggesting you can give me a massage, Shadowsinger?” You teased, leaning forward on the table. Azriel flushed and his eyes widened. “Relax, I’m kidding. But I might take you up on those oils.” You said and started to dig into the food that appeared in front of you.
You glanced around, curious as to how none of the others were here. “They’re in a meeting right now.” Azriel said, as if he knew what your question was going to be.
“Oh… don’t you need to be in it?” You asked and he shrugged.
“Rhys will tell me what he needs to.” He said and looked at you for a few more seconds, frowning slightly. You could tell his shadows were talking to him, telling him something.
“I’ve gotta go.” He said and stood up.
You rose your eyebrows and looked at him. “Do you need-“ you started but he already vanished. Sighing, you slumped in your chair and started to eat again. You didn't even think to ask your shadows what was the matter.
Not even thirty minutes later, chaos erupted in the house. Dozens of priestesses were in the dining room, being healed by anyone who had the magic or the knowledge on how to do it. You helped bring clothes and water over, using some tonics and oils to help heal their wounds. None of them spoke and only whimpers and screams from the wounded could be heard.
Rhys said that their temple was attacked by Hybern soldiers, who successfully got what they came for. And left almost all the priestesses dead or badly wounded. And worse. So you did what you could to heal the wounded, using the training and your years of being the village healer with Sirona as best as you could.
Hours later, almost all of them had been taken back to the temple. Where they would heal and rebuild as much as they could. Mor was sent there with Amren to survey the damage and clean up everything they could.
Expect for one. An auburn haired acolyte who you saw Mor carry in. One of the first ones to arrive. You shot Azriel a look as if to question what happened and if she was okay, and he only shook his head in return. You saw Azriel’s jacket around her and guessed what happened.
She was the last sitting in the living room, new clothes and a blanket wrapped around her. She was still shaking even with the fire blazing. You brought a glass of water over to her, making sure to use heavy feet so you didn’t scare her as you set the glass down on the table next to her.
“If you’d like water, I brought some..” you said quietly. “Or I can have some tea made for you, it wouldn’t take long.” You offered and looked at her for a few moments. She blinked and looked at the water, reaching out for it slowly before taking a sip.
“Whenever you’re ready, I can show you to the library where a priestess will show you to your dorm.” You added and she took a deep breath.
“I- can you show me? I don’t… I don’t want to see anyone else.” She said and you nodded.
“Of course. Let me see where you’ll be staying.” You said and stood up.
“Can I… have tea, too?” She asked and you gave her a small smile.
“Is it okay if Mor brings it?” You asked and she nodded.
“It’ll be right out.” You said and walked over to where the rest of the Inner Circle were in Rhys’s office. “Mor, can you get tea for the acolyte in there?” You asked and she nodded, going to grab it.
“Rhys.. do you know where she’ll be staying?” You asked and he nodded, showing you where it was and giving you a basket of things that all the new priestess got. Robes, other clothes, towels, and a small pamphlet that let them knew their options for support and work.
“Thanks for helping, you were really good with all of them.” Rhys said and you nodded as you made your way back up to the living room.
“I used to help Sirona with healing at the village… and sometimes the Illyrians that came through weren’t too kind to the females. I treated more than I would have wanted.” You said and looked at the basket. “This program is amazing. I can’t imagine how many priestesses you’ve helped.” You said to him.
“They’re my responsibility to protect. And when I fail, it’s my responsibility to help them through it. And make them feel safe in their home.” He said and you smiled.
“You’re a good High Lord,” you said and patted his arm before heading to the living room, not noticing how stunned Rhys was as he watched you approach Gwyn and helped her to the library.
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“Everything okay?” Cassian asked and nudged Rhys.
“She said I was a good High Lord. After everything she’s seen me do. She said I was good.” He said and Cass smiled.
“You are good, Rhys. Everything you’ve done was to protect your people. To help Prythian.” He said and squeezed his shoulder. “No wings tonight?”
“No… sometimes it’s too intimidating. I don’t want to scare the females further.” He said, Cassian leading him back to the office.
When you came back to join them, Gwyn, you learned was her name, settled into her dorm for the night, you saw the stark faces.
“Whatever the Hybern soldiers stole… it wasn’t good, was it?” You asked. “I know I’m new here, so if you don’t want to talk about it around me I can leave-“
“It was a part of the Cauldron.” Amren said and you frowned. You heard stories of what happened to the Cauldron. How it was broken into pieces so it wouldn’t be used again.
“I- what?” You asked.
“We believe Hybern wants to reform the Cauldron. And they just got closer to doing it.” Rhys said and you took a seat in one of the chairs.
“That’s not good at all..” you muttered. “What can we do?” You asked.
“Not a lot. We can try to locate the other pieces. But even I don’t know where they are. Az has his spies looking now.” He said.
“And we’ll have to come up with a plan on what to do if the Cauldron is brought to full power.” Azriel said and you looked at him, noticing that his shadows swirled around him more than ever now. And that his face was almost just that, a shadow of what it normally was.
“Can I do anything?” You asked and Rhys glanced to his Inner Circle.
“For now, keep training. I may ask you to fight with us if it comes to that. And… while you’re in the library, see if you can find anything on the Cauldron and its power….” He said and you slumped slightly. You thought he’d offer something more… useful. But you were new, and you didn’t have the same powers as the others in the Circle. You didn’t even have a Siphon or killing power.
“Alright, I can do that.” You said and nodded.
You sat through the meeting, each of the Inner Circle getting assigned tasks throughout. Each of them left to start that night.
“Rhys…” you said before he could leave. “You… you haven’t mentioned Feyre since we got back. And you haven’t called in your bargain for her.” You said and he sighed.
“I can’t call it in… I’m letting her enjoy the time with… Tamlin... She deserved to be happy.” He said and you nodded.
“Like I said, a good High Lord.” You said and stepped closer to him. “But a better male.” You stated before making your way to the stairs so you could get some rest. You had to be up early for your training tomorrow anyway.
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A/N: Oof... this one was hard but I feel like it's important to highlight that the reader is also a healer and she knows how to help those who have been hurt. Also, I love her and Rhys's relationship sooooo much. Hopefully the timeline is correct, I’m going off of one I found on here when I started writing. If anything doesn’t add up, consider it a necessary change for the plot lol.
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darkeunology · 1 day
Text
♡ Love is the Warmest Colour ♡
Word Count: 3228 (I'm amazed it's this long)
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of gunshot injuries, normal Criminal Minds violence, kidnapping, torture mentions (No explicit details)
Summary: In a world where soulmates feel each other's pain, you and Derek seem to be oblivious to each other's pains.
Not proof read. Not sure how I feel about this one tbh.
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Soulmate: Noun: A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. 
Everyone in the world had someone who was destined to be their soulmate. It was a tale told to every child as a bedtime story, the exact way soulmates were known to each other. Shared pain - all soulmates in the world feel each other’s pain, Every scratch, punch or bump, soulmates feel it all but are never left with the physical marks from the injuries. 
Maybe not so surprisingly, a lot of people never actually found their soulmates, getting injured close enough to your soulmate so that both of you would realise anything was quite rare a feat, most people gave up trying to find their soulmate by their 20s, not wanting to waste their life trying to find the person suited best for them. Including you, once you’d hit 25, you’d given up - you thought it would be great if you did ever find them, but you weren’t holding out hope for it anymore, you’d now just ignore any of the pains you’d ever felt from your soulmate, which annoyingly for you, was a very common occurrence. 
—---------
As a child, a common question that was asked during class was ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ Everyone else in the class would always have an answer to this, Vet, Astronaut, Writer, Fireman, to name a few, but you never once had an answer, never a clear one anyway, you had no idea what you actually wanted to do in life, and even once you’d finished high school, you chose to not go to college, instead choosing to unfortunately bounce between jobs, starting out at retail, before moving to waitressing until eventually moving to the job you were in now, a barista at your local coffee shop. 
It wasn’t quite the life you or your parents had ever imagined for you, but you were happy enough; sure, you were living paycheck to paycheck, and you weren’t really able to treat yourself as much as you’d wished to, but it worked for you, and now, being in your 20s, you weren’t really sure how you could do anything else with your life. 
It wasn’t until the day you very nearly died when you decided you wanted to do something different. 
You’d just finished a lunchtime shift at the coffee shop, planning to go to the store quickly before you went back to your apartment, a good friend of yours coming round to have a girls night together after a long week at work. You never managed to make it home that night. Whilst walking to the store, a van stopped next to you, a young man poking his head out the window, asking you how to get to the highway from where he was. After quickly telling him where to drive, you turned your back to the van, about to start walking again when you felt yourself be grabbed from behind, a large hand covering your mouth to stop a scream from escaping - no matter how hard you tried to fight off the hands on you, nothing would loosen his grip as he pulled you into the back of the van, landing a quick, hard punch to your head, knocking you out immediately. 
When you finally woke up, you were tied up on what felt like a dentist’s chair. All your clothes except for your underwear missing from your body. A shiver ran through your body from the chill in the room you were in, the chill getting worse when the men who kidnapped you walked into the room you were in, menacing smirks lining their faces. 
Once your friend hadn’t been able to get in contact with you after you’d failed to get back to your apartment after work, they called the police, knowing that you would never be late coming home without letting her know beforehand, she knew deep down something had happened to you, especially with the news recently of young women being kidnapped and murdered in the are you lived in. She’d seen on the news that the FBI had already been called in after the last murder after seeing the press conference on the news the other night, she told them everything they needed to know and hoped that they’d be able to find you in time. 
Unsure of just how much time it had been since you’d been kidnapped, all you could focus on was the pain running through your body from the hours of torture you’d had to endure. It felt like you’d been here for days when in reality it had only been a few hours. The only thing that had kept you going the whole time was the hope that your friend called someone when you never showed up to meet her at your apartment. That hope finally coming true when a tall, dark skinned man jogged into the room, FBI vest on his body and a gun held firmly in his hands, “I’ve got the victim.” he spoke into his comms before placing his gun back into his holster, walking up to you, a gentle smile on his face, “Hey, sweetheart. I’m agent Derek Morgan with the FBI. You’re safe now alright. Medics are on their way down.” he spoke gently, his hands moving to carefully untie you from the chair. 
Derek stuck by your side every moment until they put you in the back of the ambulance, keeping you comfortable as everything buzzed around you, only leaving you when the ambulance left for the hospital.
He was the one good thing you tried to focus on whenever you had nightmares about the kidnapping. It took months of therapy, months of being scared to leave your house alone again before you were finally ready and able to do something about your life. You guess it’s because of what you went through, but you decided that you wanted to do what was done for you, you wanted to help people in the worst moments of their lives; so you went back to school, studying criminal profiling and psychology, graduating 3 years later before luckily managing to get a position in the BAU, the same unit who saved you nearly 4 years previously.  
—--------
Derek remembered when he was told about soulmates by his parents, his sisters told him afterwards that they all had the same talk when they were the same age. He was told one night as he was being put to bed, his parents telling him that there was one special person in the world who was a perfect fit for him, a person who he might never find but someone that would never be better for him. He was told that was how his parents met each other, his dad being hurt during a police job with his mother luckily being close enough to him that they knew almost in that moment they were meant for each other. He was told that any physical pains he would ever have would be felt by his soulmate and any pains his soulmate had would have, he would feel himself. 
As Derek grew older, he never really put much thought into soulmates, he knew how unlikely it actually was that he’d ever meet his true soulmate, with just how big America was, and the fact they might not even be American. He just figured that if he was going to find his soulmate, it would happen naturally - so, like most people, he dated anyone he wanted to, not caring, nor worrying if they weren’t his soulmate. 
At night sometimes, as much as he would never tell people, he would often imagine what life might be like with his soulmate, or just exactly how he would meet them. He mildly envied the people who had actually managed to find their soulmate, wondering how they got so lucky with how large the world is. 
Sometimes Derek would think he didn’t even have a soulmate, he often wouldn’t feel any random pains, only sometimes getting a pain in his foot, almost like his soulmate had just stubbed their toe somewhere - or sometimes a harsh pain in his arm, maybe a needle injection or someone hitting their shoulder too hard as they walked past them. 
So, even as Derek was for some reason in a lot more pain than he normally was, he didn’t really think too much of it. He was used to pain from his job so it didn’t really feel like much to him, he thought you were just going through a bad day. 
He never connected the pieces, even after his pain stopped once you’d been rescued. 
—-------
Nervous was an understatement as you stood in the elevator going up to the BAU office, you hid it behind a gentle smile as the doors opened, asking the first person you saw how to find Aaron Hotchner’s office. 
After getting your directions, you headed through the glass doors into the main office, walking up to Hotchner’s office to the curious looks of the other members of the team. You knocked on the door, walking in once you’d heard a ‘come in’ from the other side of the door. 
“Hi. Aaron Hotchner?” you asked, a smile on your face as you held your box full of your things in your hands, 
The man nodded behind his desk, standing and walking round the other side to be able to shake your hand, something you were just able to do with the box you were balancing. “Hi, yes. You must be Y/N,” he spoke, waiting for your nod of acknowledgement before he continued, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Everyone else has just gone into the meeting room. I’ll show you your desk then we’ll go up to meet everyone.” he explained, a small smile on his face the whole time, before he led you out of his office, quickly showing you your desk so you could place the box down before leading you up to the meeting room, walking in before you, “Everyone, meet our new agent, this is Y/N L/N.” he spoke to the team, 
It took a moment for everyone to introduce themselves, Derek was the last to speak, “You seem familiar,” he spoke after he’d said his name. Everyone else took that to mean something different, since they all knew what Derek was like most of the time, so they were surprised when they heard Spencer speak, “Yeah, he’s right.” Causing the rest of the team to try and remember why two of their team knew your face. 
Sighing lightly, you glanced at Aaron, who already knew of your past, he nodded gently, signalling that you can tell them if you wanted to, “I must just have a familiar face.” you spoke, shrugging your shoulders. 
Thankfully for you, the team dropped it. Derek still giving you looks every so often, trying to figure out where he knew you from. 
—----
It had been a few weeks of working in the BAU, you’d managed to fit into the team really well. Already going on many girls nights with JJ, Emily and Garcia. You got on with the males in your team as well, but nowhere near as well as the girls. Garcia being the one you told everything to, including the day you were kidnapped and rescued by the BAU, and opening up to her about the small feelings you had for a certain Derek Morgan.
You’d also had a lot more pains from your soulmate in the past few weeks, nothing too bad, just some hard hits every so often, one being a nasty hit on your ribs one day at the end of a case, you standing with Emily and practically doubling over in the sudden pain that shot through your abdomen, “You good?” Emily asked, concern laced through her voice, 
“Yeah.” you gasped out, “I don’t know what happened, that just really hurt for a moment.”
“Must be your soulmate.” Emily spoke, you nodded in response, 
“Yeah, it must be.”
When you and Emily found out that Derek had been shot in his abdomen, luckily only causing a harsh bruise due to his vest, Emily was the only one who connected the dots about the pain you felt that day, deciding not to tell anyone else about her thoughts. 
—-----
“You alright sugar?” Garcia spoke when she saw Derek, noticing the obvious look of discomfort on his face, 
“Yeah, baby girl. Just got an awful headache, I took painkillers ages ago and it just hasn’t done anything.” he spoke, rubbing his temples, he knew from the fact that painkillers hadn’t worked that it would be a soulmate pain, 
“Soulmate maybe?” Garcia spoke, 
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” He spoke, smiling at Garcia before getting back to work. 
It wasn’t until he sat down at his desk and saw you taking some painkillers when something clicked, “You good Y/N?” Derek asked, grabbing your attention and the attention of Emily who was sitting nearby at her desk. 
“Really bad headache. Painkillers are only helping a small amount.” you sighed. 
Emily was only looking towards Derek, a knowing look on her face, watching as Derek looked towards her, realisation slowly showing on his face, “Let me know if I can do anything to help.” he spoke, before turning back around, his only thought being that his soulmate was potentially his colleague. 
—----------
Oftentimes when you’d come into work, you’d go into Garcia’s bat cave, getting her some coffee and having a little chat before the work began.
A knock on the door interrupted you and Garcia this morning, “We’re meeting now. We have a new case.” JJ spoke as she poked her head in, her face looking grim. Both of you stood, grabbing your coffee mugs and heading over to the meeting room, being the last two to come in,
“We’re going to Florida.” JJ spoke, turning on the TV on the wall, “There’s been a series of murders, all women in their late 20s, all being found dumped in remote areas.” 
“Any sexual assault?” Derek asked.
“All of them had signs of sexual assault, yes.” JJ answered. “Newest victim is Stephanie Leigh, she was kidnapped yesterday evening after a night out at a local club.”
“All of these women were killed two days after they were kidnapped, meaning we have under 48 hours to find her alive.” Hotch spoke, his face serious like always, “Wheels up in 20.” he finished, getting up from his seat first as everyone else followed. 
—--------
You and Derek were in the car driving to the club where the recent victim was taken from, 
“I think I figured out where I remember you from.” Derek spoke, filling the silence that had surrounded you both for a while, 
“Oh yeah.” you spoke, knowing that Derek probably had, and dreading having to tell him he was right. 
“I think around 4 years ago, maybe more, we were called out to a local kidnapping case, the local cops were investigating someone kidnapping local young females and murdering them after torturing them for a few days, normally 2, but he’d accelerated his timeline on the last victim. We’d found the last body then a few hours later we were told of someone else being kidnapped - it was you.” He turned to look at you for a moment before putting his eyes back on the road,
“You were the one that found me first.” you spoke. Silence filled the car again for a moment, “I never told any of you purely because I just wanted to try and forget about it. I figured some of you might recognise me, but I hoped that you’d rescued so many people that you wouldn't necessarily remember one person you’d helped. Clearly though, you knew, and I think so does Spencer.” you looked towards Derek, “I’ll tell everyone else eventually” 
“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” he spoke quietly, 
“Don’t be.” You shook your head, “I needed to thank you anyway. All of you really. But you stayed by my side from the moment you found me until the ambulance left,” you paused, looking back at Derek, “I don’t think you realise how much I appreciated that.” you finished quietly, a sad tone in your voice. 
Derek turned and nodded gently at you, not saying anything else until you guys arrived at the club, continuing on with the case you were working. 
—--------
“I think we found our guy.” Hotch spoke after Garcia had finished her round of research she was given, the team headed out, finding the warehouse where the unsub should be holding the missing girl, rushing to get there before he murdered her just like the others. 
Spencer and you went round the back together along with some swat agents and other cops, checking each room until you saw the unsub running from you both, alerting the agents who were left outside, Derek being one of them. 
“We found the victim, she’s alive.” Emily spoke into the comms, just before Hotch spoke, 
“Offender running on foot northwest, me and Derek are in pursuit.” Spencer, you, Emily and Rossi all ran out of the warehouse, knowing the victim was safe with the rest of the police and the medics, hopping in one of the SUVs and going out to find Hotch and Derek. 
All in one moment, the most intense pain you’d felt before rang through your shoulder and your leg, causing you to yelp out in pain, making everyone else in the car jump, “Y/N!” Spence exclaimed, being the one sitting next to you in the back, “You okay?” he asked, at the same time Hotch spoke on the radio, 
“Shots fired, Agent down. I need medics to my location.” he practically shouted, the message finishing just as the SUV turned the corner to the alley they were in, Derek on the floor with Hotch knelt next to him. 
Confusion rung through you, the realisation never actually hitting you due to the pain in your body distracting you too much to think straight, “I can’t believe you’re a profiler and you haven’t figured it out yet.” Emily chuckled lightly, looking towards you with disbelief. 
“What?” you asked dumbly, 
“Get out the car and go to your damn soulmate.” she spoke again. You didn’t even think twice once the realisation hit you in the face, you jumped out the car, kneeling on the other side of Derek, one hand cupping his face, 
“Hey sweetheart.” he spoke, a small smile on his face even through the pain of the wounds. 
“Hey soulmate.” you smiled, “That hurt quite a lot you know?” finishing with a chuckle, Derek also chuckling before groaning in pain. “Sorry.” you whispered, noticing the pain he was in. 
“I’m taking you on a date once I’m better.” Derek told you, one of his hands coming to hold yours which was still on his face. 
“You better.” chuckling, you leant down and laid a small kiss on Derek’s forehead as the rest of the team watched on, smiles on their faces, relieved that the two of you finally figured it all out, even if you needed Emily to spell it out for you to realise.
36 notes · View notes
dark-mnjiro · 2 days
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speaking in tongues ::: .02.
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Author’s Note: hello everyone. I apologize for such a long wait. Personal things (as some of you may know) have had to take priority like my health. I had to put a lot of projects on hold. I do hope you enjoy part two. I attempted to make it a bit longer than the others that I’ve put out to make up for it. 🥰 as usual, please refer to the masterlist for a general list of content warning for this fic, and I will post part specific below.
Content Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, dubcon, dub/noncon touching, fingering, groping, invasion of privacy, violence, mentions of trauma/sexual abuse/physical abuse, bratty!cashmere, cat and mouse games, gaslighting, emotional manipulation… fun stuff.
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part two
i’m standing here until you make me move
Snapping his fingers, a golden portal appeared behind Adam before he stepped through it still carrying Cashmere. She took her fists, pounding his back, demanding still to be put down. Adam only seemed to offer a mocking reply by raising his voice an octave and mimicking her comments. This only seemed to enrage Cashmere more as she began kicking her legs and intensifying her hits to his back.
“Fucking hell!” he snapped at her.
“Satan in Hell,” she snapped. “Put me DOWN!”
Adam tossed her onto the couch. He pulled off his mask, throwing it to the floor before walking away from her. “Don’t fucking say I didn’t do anything for you,” he complained, loudly as he walked into the other room.
Cashmere sighed, moving her fingers through her hair. She looked around… Where was she? It looked like a fairly average apartment that any living person would have, but not one in Hell. A loud slurp disrupted her thoughts as she turned to look at Adam, standing in the entryway with a drink in hand… drinking loudly.
“Where are we?”
Adam pulled the straw from his lips before leaning against the wall. “My place.”
“In Heaven?”
“Fuck no,” Adam scoffed. “I wouldn’t bring demonic scum like you to that paradise.”
Rolling her eyes, Cashmere pushed up from the couch to sit up. “You have an apartment in Hell?”
“Embassy,” he corrected. “It’s my temporary place.”
“So why here?”
Sighing, he set the drink in his hand down on the table in front of the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you enjoy getting assaulted?”
Her eyes narrowed.
“What?” he snapped, annoyance crossing his expression. “You sure seemed to like trying to fight a man three times your size who was trying to grope on you.”
“Satan help me,” she groaned. “How long were you there? You saw all that?!”
“I told you,” he replied as his voice went flat. “Long enough.”
She closed her eyes for a moment before letting out a sigh of frustration. She stood up from the couch and decided that she would just leave before she was caught in another argument with this man…angel? Whatever. She tried to move past him before his arm shot out and stopped her from passing him.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“Fuck you,” she said, shoving his arm down.
“You got a filthy, fucking mouth on you,” he sneered.
“Fuck. You.”
She managed to push past him but didn’t make it far before Adam snatched her by her hair and tugged her back. She yelped as tears burned at the corner of her eyes.
“Do I have your attention now?”
He was uncomfortably close to her now as his breath brushed against her ear. She tried moving away but he only tugged harder causing her scalp to burn.
“Are you going to be a good girl and listen?”
Her face fell. “…yes.”
He tugged on her hair again, causing her to wince. “I don’t believe you,” he hissed into her ear. His free hand slipped to grasp her waistline before forcefully guiding her toward the wall of his apartment. The grip tightened as he pressed his chest against her back, forcing her chest to push against the wall. Cashmere turned her head to the side, catching a glimpse of Adam smirking from behind her. “I’ll ask again,” he whispered. “Are you going to be a good girl and listen?”
She wasn’t sure what he was asking as a response. Her eyes darted away toward the white wall. Anything to avoid his gaze at this point. Anxiety began filling her chest, wondering just what she could do in this instance, against an Angel? Nothing. He could kill her easily if he truly wanted to… and permanently. It was a well-known fact that Angelic steel could permanently rid Hell of any sinner.
Adam’s other hand finally let go of her hair, but it joined his other hand gripping her waist. He used his size alone to pin her against the wall now. She was stuck. Squirming, she attempted to slither her way out from him and the wall, but it only seemed to cause him to tighten his grip.
“I want to hear you say it.”
She scoffed. “Say what?”
“That you’re going to be a good girl and listen.”
Cashmere cursed under her breath before scowling at Adam. “I’m not indulging in your sick fantasy.”
“You wouldn’t be able to handle me,” he teased. “So don’t flatter yourself.”
Offense flashed over her eyes almost as if she took what he said as a challenge. Couldn’t handle him? Was he joking? She glanced at him over her shoulder, shooting a deadly glare at the sick smirk he wore on his face. His golden eyes were still fixed on her as he moved impossibly close.
“Say it.”
“...no.”
Chuckling, Adam’s hands moved further down before squeezing her hips. “All you women are the same,” he commented. “Fucking little, bratty teases.”
“I-” she paused. “I’m not teasing.”
Remaining silent, Adam’s hands slipped past the edge of her skirt before toying with the fabric. Her breath quickened as his fingertips brushed against her bare thighs. Goosebumps spread across her skin before Adam chuckled. His fingertips moved up her thigh, slipping under her skirt.
“L-let go,” she hissed, trying to squirm away.
“No.”
She didn’t understand what his end goal was. He couldn’t possibly want such a filthy sinner. Not after all the insults he seemed to hurl her way. His hands brushed against her panties as they slipped under the elastic. Excitement blossomed in her chest and she hated her body for practically begging to be touched.
His hands slipped her underwear about midway down her legs. “Tell me you want it,” he whispered as his left moved between her legs and brushed his knee against her bare core.
A strangled gasp moved past her lips. Her mind went fuzzy. “But,” she whispered. “I’m a sinner.”
“I’m already in Heaven,” Adam snorted. “I can fuck whatever pussy I want.”
Satan’s left tit, he was going to go through with this… Cashmere felt another jolt of excitement shudder throughout her body, cursing herself for almost enjoying this… almost.
“Let's see,” he whispered, his lips against her ear. “What gets you going…”
One hand slipped between her legs as the other moved up to grope her breast. He pinched her clit between his fingers causing her to gasp again. He slowly slipped two fingers against her dripping core, making sure both fingers were coated in her juices.
She squirmed at his touch as soft pants left her lips. Her voice stuttered, “A-Adam…”
He hummed in response before plunging his two coated fingers into her. Her body tensed for a moment before adjusting quickly. He nipped at her ear as he curled her fingers against her, forcing her to clench. A gasp left her lips, bracing herself against the wall.
The rough pads of his fingers probably formed from years of playing guitar only gave way to delicious friction as she felt her juices slip down her legs. Her body squirmed as her legs clenched.
Adam tutted. “Nah uh,” he teased, using his knee to keep her legs apart.
His pace intensified.
“A-Adam,” she managed to say between breathy pants.
His tone mocked her voice as he increased his pace. The coil in her gut was winding tighter as she felt the palm of his hand press against her clit, causing her to moan again. Wetness pooled in his palm before his fingers were scissored inside of her.
“You wanna cum?” he whispered into her ear.
He suddenly slowed to a tormenting pace. “Adam please.”
“Use your words.”
She wanted to glare at him but her body wouldn’t allow her to move before tried to move her hips against his hand. His free hand managed to find its way back to her hair and yanked her head back. A pained yelp left her lips but she stilled her movements.
“Please,” she managed to get out in a desperate tone. “…please let me cum, Adam…
An audible groan left his lips before the pace of his fingers became unrelenting. Cries of his name tumbled from her lips as her legs began quaking. How such a Holy man’s touch could be so sinful, Cashmere could not understand.
She cried out his name one last time before pleasure electrified her skin and spread throughout her body. Her legs shook again, losing their strength so Adam had to keep her on her feet. He slowly removed his fingers before she felt her juices dripping down her legs.
He chuckled before taking his two fingers and forcing them into her mouth. “Be a good girl,” he teased. “And clean the mess you made.”
For a brief moment, Cashmere sputtered, struggling for air before quickly adjusting. Her tongue circled his fingers, tasting herself on them. A soft moan managed past her lips before he removed his fingers.
Adam pulled away, letting her stumble a bit but managed to steady herself against the wall.
Quickly, Cashmere pulled up her underwear and readjusted her skirt. Words failed her. Her eyes darted up to him before falling back to the floor. What could she say? It’s not like anyone would believe this happened. “…I should go home.”
Confusion filled his golden hues. “What the fuck? Why?”
“…this never should’ve happened.”
“Are you saying you didn’t want it now because you sure changed your mind fast—”
She closed her eyes in frustration. “You’re an Angel, Adam.”
“…so what? I can fuck whoever I want,” he said.
“I’m a demon, you idiot.”
“I’m not following,” Adam countered. “What part of I fuck whoever I want, don’t you understand?”
Cashmere stared at the Angel in front of her with her mouth agape. Was he serious?
“I-I’m going home.”
He seemed to back down before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Just fucking wait a second,” he said quickly. He took a few steps away from her before raking his fingers through his hair again. “Just stay here. Until you’ve sobered up.”
Confusion filled her face.
“You need to sober up,” he said, shooting a glare in her direction. “Some fucking freak could take advantage-”
“What the fuck do you think you just did?!”
“You didn’t fucking say no,” he snapped back. “You’re just pissed that you fucking enjoyed it.”
Her mouth shut.
He was right.
As disgusting as he was, she hated to admit that she had enjoyed that…
“…where should I stay?”
Adam sighed again before turning and motioning her to follow him. She followed him into a bedroom… it was clear it was his bedroom. Her eyes fell to the floor before Adam tossed a shirt to her. She glared at him briefly before noticing it was a band shirt.
“Wear that. Sleep here. Leave me the fuck alone,” he said before turning to head back into the living room.
Sighing, she waited for Adam to leave before shutting the door and stripping off her clothes. She slipped on the band tee that managed to cover just above her knees. Grimacing, she inspected the bedroom. It was clear he was a bachelor with how messy he was and the trash just strewn about. Sighing, she climbed into the bed and quickly shut the light off.
“Goodnight,” she mumbled mostly to herself.
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The screams from the street managed to jar Cashmere awake as she sat up in bed and grimaced. Perhaps she had too much to drink and snort last night. Her head was practically spinning now. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around trying to remember where she was…
“Oh fuck.”
That’s right, Adam had snatched her up and brought her here the night before.
Her fingers pushed the stray strands of hair from her face, straining her ears for any sound, any movement from outside the bedroom. Snoring. He was still asleep. She forced herself out of the bed grabbing her shoes and her clothes. She would have to make a break for it.
Her hand came to the doorknob, slowly turning it and gently pulling the door open. Her eyes caught a glimpse of Adam still snoring from the couch before sneaking to his front door and silently slipping out of his apartment. A sigh fell from her lips, relieved she escaped without being detected.
“I’m going home.”
She pulled out her cell phone and saw a slew of texts from Cherrybomb and Angeldust. She responded to the group chat that she was fine and heading home and she would explain later.
Cashmere managed to make it to her apartment before reaching into her purse to grab her apartment key. “Home free,” she told herself, sighing with relief as she started opening the door.
“Bitch!”
Her head shot up as she noticed Angeldust rushing toward her. “…oh no.”
“Where the fuck did you go!”
“Angel - it’s fine I’m just going to go change,” she said, walking into her apartment but he managed to sneak his way past her and into the apartment as well.
He threw himself onto her bed before tilting his head at her. His eyes narrowed before the corner of his lips curled upward.
“Angel…”
“…who was it! Spill it!”
Groaning, she threw her clothes and purse to the floor. “Whatever you’re thinking it’s not true.”
Angeldust scoffed before sitting up on her bed. “That’s not your shirt, babe.”
A lump formed in her throat. Fuck.
“…it was nothing,” she hissed.
“You ran off with some fucker. Him?”
Glaring, she crossed her arms. “I fucking hate how observant you are.”
He shrugged. “A gift! Now tell me.”
“We didn’t fuck. Just screwed around a little,” she replied, shaking her head. “It should’ve never happened. It was a mistake. I was too high to go home so he let me crash. I left before he woke up.”
He looked unimpressed. “That bad?”
“Sure,” she was too frustrated to continue this conversation.
“Whatever you say~”
Rolling her eyes, Cashmere made her way into the bathroom and stripped off Adam’s band t-shirt. She inspected her reflection in the mirror before cutting on the water in the sink and splashing her face with cold water.
A nightmare.
This was just a nightmare.
Her phone began buzzing. A groan left her lips before she snatched up the phone, assuming it was either Cherrybomb calling to tease her or even worse - Valentino to demand she come into the strip club.
“Yeah?”
“Morning to you too, doll face.”
Her face paled.
“How the fuck did you get my number?!”
Adam snorted on the other line. “You’re the stupid ass that left her phone out and unlocked.”
“You went through my phone?!”
“Nice nudes in there by the way.”
How could she even begin to form a response to that? She pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath to calm her growing irritation.
“I’m not even responding-what do you want, asshole!”
“You fucking left.”
Was this serious? “Of course, I left,” she said, confused. “What were we going to do? Cuddle?”
He scoffed. “I want you to know I was being nice by letting you crash with me after you got fucking high as fuck,” he countered. “And you just leave? No fucking thank you? Nothing!”
This was serious.
Cashmere rubbed her eyes. “Being nice? That’s the bare minimum!”
“You were a fucking cock tease!”
“Tease?!”
“You were fucking putty in my hands,” he hissed. “Couldn’t even return the favor. A fucking tease.”
She couldn’t find her words. The tone of his voice was similar to the night before and sent shivers down her spine. She cursed under her breath. Was this reality?
“Where the fuck did you go?”
A sigh fell from her lips as she tried to center herself. How someone could be this dense, she had no idea… Clicking her tongue, she glanced at her bathroom door and made sure to lower her voice. She could not afford Angeldust finding out she had an Angel on the phone, and not just any Angel - Adam.
“I went home.”
“You didn’t even wake me up.”
“What the fuck were we going to do? Cuddle? Christ, Adam.”
He scoffed on the other line. “Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.”
“I can’t do this right now,” she said, rubbing her temples. “I’m taking my shower.”
“Fucking fine,” he said. “Just come to the embassy when you’re done.”
She hung up on him.
She could not handle his bullshit now.
Her phone lit up with a text that said: did you just fucking hang up on me?
Choosing to ignore it, Cashmere turned her attention toward her shower, cutting on the water and making sure the temperature was as hot as she could stand. She slipped off the rest of her clothes before letting her hair down. Stepping in the shower, she let out another breath before stepping under the hot stream of water.
She let the water slip over her head and down her body. The heat offered some relief to her tense muscles. How the fuck had she ended up in this situation? Her fingers raked through her wet hair.
Did she even want to go back to the embassy and face him?
It wasn’t as if she had a choice. He had paid off Valentino, who believed this was some prostitution setup - no questions asked. The entire situation was beginning to weigh on Cashmere as she couldn’t be honest with her two closest friends.
And now?
Now, Adam had managed to worm his way into her pants, or at the very least his fingers between her legs.
Disgust filled her gut. Was she that desperate? Did she make it that easy for him?
She recalled her life when she was alive. While she could not remember everything now that she was dead, she could recall flashes and small glimpses into why she was such a disaster.
Prostitution had kept her off the streets, but at what cost?
She had disgraced her family, despite leaving and joining the profession for the sake of their survival. She had been battered, beaten, and bruised throughout her career by not only “customers” but by police and even other prostitutes.
Over the years, it hardened her. Numbed her.
“Cashmere?”
It was Angeldust, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” She called out over the sound of the shower.
“You good?”
Pausing, her eyes fell to the drain. Was she?
“I’m fine!”
Straining her ears, she heard Angeldust retreat from the door as she slowly cut off the water. Snatching the towel from the rack, she wrapped the plush fabric around her body.
Her phone screen lit up again.
Another message… from Adam.
A sigh fell from her lips before scanning the text. “You can’t fucking ignore me forever?” She scoffed and turned off her phone in response. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”
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Walking into the embassy, Cashmere finally decided to turn her phone back on. She awoke to several messages to log her up on her phone from the night before - and she was right. A flood of messages from Adam filled her phone, a weird mixture of gaslighting and compliments and a sprinkle of disgust was an ongoing theme in each message.
She mumbled “idiot” under her breath before she reached his office and raised a hand to knock. But the door swung open.
She halfway expected him as she opened her mouth with a quip but quickly her eyes went wide as a fellow dancer left, adjusting her clothes. Cashmere stepped to the side observing before walking inside.
He was sitting in his chair as she shut the door. With her back turned, she felt his golden eyes on her - as if trying to burn a home through her.
A game… she suspected.
“…aren’t you supposed to be keeping a low profile?”
“I told you,” he said, loudly. “I do whatever the fuck I want.”
She stepped into the office and shut the door before finally turning to look at him. He was adjusting his clothes and she could only imagine what had taken place just moments before she knocked. She studied his expression for a brief second before noting the smirking just barely ghosting over his lips.
He was playing a game.
She took a seat and kept her expression even.
“So what now?”
His golden hues narrowed at her blase response. “What now?”
Cashmere nodded. “What are we doing now?”
“Don’t you wanna know who that was?”
“Not really,” she said, shrugging. “I know enough about her from the club to know that you may want to get checked afterward-”
“Don’t be a fucking smart ass.”
Cashmere merely shrugged in response, noting the annoyance in his voice was growing. If he wanted to play this type of game with her, she would make him learn that she was ten times better at it.
“So I’ll ask again,” she continued. “What are we doing now?”
Adam slumped into his chair. His eyes scanned over his paperwork before glancing back at her. “She was boring,” he commented, offhandedly. “Talked too much.”
Her gaze cut to him. “Okay?”
“Okay?” he repeated as his brows fell into a scowl. “That’s all you have to fucking say?!”
Cashmere tilted her head to the side.
“You are so fucking infuriating!”
She glanced down at her nails, inspecting the color carefully. “Sucks when people play mind games, doesn’t it?”
His fists slammed against the table, catching her attention briefly.
“Are you seriously going to sit there and throw a tantrum when you snooped through my phone and thought bringing a coworker here would upset me? I’m not an idiot,” she said, raking her finger through his hair. “This entire trip is just an excuse for you to torment a sinner here and try to get your scrawny dick wet.”
Adam fell silent as his eyes narrowed.
Cashmere sat back in her seat. “Play stupid games,” she said. “Win stupid prizes.”
His fists tightened. His knuckles turned white.
Satisfaction was evident on her face, knowing that she had pegged him exactly for what he was trying to do. “Now if you’re done being an insufferable wannabe rockstar,” she continued, turning her attention back to inspecting her nails. “We can work on what you were sent here to do.”
Adam opened his mouth to speak.
Cashmere reached across the table and snatched one of the pieces of paper scattered about. She wanted to look over the notes that he had supposedly taken during their last meet-up, but when she looked upon the paper…
“Are you fucking joking?”
Adam scowled again at her. “What?!”
“This is fucking stick figures fucking!”
He looked away from her.
“You didn’t even take notes?!”
Adam scoffed. “I have a brilliant memory. I don’t need notes. All I have to say is bitches like you deserve to be sinners-”
“Aren’t you supposed to understand why!?”
“Does it even matter?”
Cashmere balled her fists. “You know what,” she said, huffing. “It doesn’t to me. But won’t it get you into trouble up there?”
“I’m the original dick,” he snapped. “I’ll never get into trouble.”
She didn’t respond. She didn’t have to as her expression slipped into a judgemental stare.
“I don’t have to fucking answer to the likes of you,” he scowled. “Don’t you fucking judge me!”
“Men are always so sensitive,” she added, sighing.
His golden hues narrowed once again.
“What?” she questioned, leaning back in her chair. When she received no response, she let out a frustrated sigh. “If you’re an example of the angels in Heaven… I would rather be thrown into Hellfire. I’ve dealt with enough misogynist, pig men while I was alive to serve me an entire lifetime of suffering.”
She hadn’t noticed Adam standing up from his desk and slowly making his way toward her. As she continued to rant about pig men, Adam stood behind her chair before quickly grabbing her by the back of the throat, lifting her from her chair, and slamming her onto the desk.
A yelp of pain erupted from the sinner as she felt the weight of his body press against her much smaller frame. She squirmed, trying to break him of his grip but the sheer size he had on her alone - he would overpower her.
“Let me go you fuckface-”
His hand left her neck and slid into her hair before gripping her locks tightly. “You’ve been acting like a fucking spoiled brat all day,” he hissed, leaning into her ear. “Tell me you don’t want this… and I’ll disappear.”
Fuck him. Fuck him.
The tone of his voice sent shivers all the way down her spine before causing her thighs to clench together. Her mind drifted back to that moment of weakness in his apartment.
“Fuck you!”
His mocking laughter filled her ears.
“I’m not hearing no.”
“Let me go or I’ll scream!”
“I’d prefer if you did.”
Cashmere glared at him in response.
“Now be a good kitty cat and listen…”
She scowled under her breath. Was he mocking her demonic, lioness form now?
“I’m not a cat-ow!”
He had tugged on her tail earning a yelp. “Lion… tiger… aren’t they all just oversized house cats?” His gloved fingers slid down the length of her tail. “But it seems I’ve found a way to make you listen.” His fingers grasped her tail again and immediately he sensed Cashmere’s body tense.
“Now,” he said gently. “You’re going to show me exactly why you were sent to Hell in the first place.”
“Let go-” she gasped mid sentence as he tugged on her tail.
“Don’t pretend you don’t like this,” he scoffed before he let go of her tail and the free hand slipped up her skirt.
Cashmere was quiet for a moment before quickly elbowing him in the gut, sending him into a string of curses. Wincing at him tugging her hair before letting her go, she quickly moved back to her feet.
A mixture and crimson and black glazed over her eyes as her fangs grew longer. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”
A hand raked through his shaggy, dark hair before his lips curled into a sneer. His tongue ran along his lower lip. He took a step toward her.
Cashmere hissed at him.
He opened his mouth to respond but Cashmere took her clawed hand and swiped at his face before Adam lunged forward, snatching her wrist. Quickly, she swiped with her opposite hand but Adam stopped her again. Cashmere tugged, trying to break his grip but instead Adam used his size to pin her against the desk again.
His lips curled into a sneer. “Nice try, kitty cat.”
“Fuck you!”
He leaned in closer. “Gladly.”
43 notes · View notes
bookstantrash · 2 days
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A/N: And I am back in my "Nessian with RED (TV) fic titles" agenda. They are just so RED coded and I had been dying to write something related to this album it is one of my fav albums of TS tbf.
This one shot is more Cassian centric, and it is also a type of fanfic I had been meaning to write for the longest times. I just feel like the fandom overall forgets that Cassian has a lot of trauma and insecurities, and I wish we saw more of that.
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Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound
Nightmares were not unusual to Cassian. He had them for as long as he could remember.
He had them when he was a mere child living on the outskirts of Windhaven, blowing on his hands to try and keep himself warm.
Had them when he was a young warrior, taking part in the Blood Rite, fighting his way to find his brothers alive.
Had them when he took part in the First War and saw deaths far more gruesome than what he had experienced at the Blood Rite.
Had them pile up after each war, each battle he took part in. Dreamt about his soldiers dying, about having to give their families the news and be met with sadness, anger and resentment. That they were gone and would never return. That while they had died he, a mere bastard born nobody, an orphan, had not.
He grew used to nightmares. Usually he would wake up with silent tears and a sense of regret and failure over his heart, spending the rest of the night awake, going over reports. Those were the good nights.
And on those rare times when his mind was particularly evil and wanted to punish him deeply, on those nights he would wake up with his heart racing, the urge to throw up taking him out of his bed to leave him retching over the toilet, the need to scream at anyone and everyone consuming him. To scream in anger and despair. Those were the bad nights, the ones who made him go to the training ring and rip the punching bags, made him stay there until the sun was rising and he would pass out with tiredness, no dreams, good or bad appearing for him.
He was so used to his nightmares that he knew what to expect, knew how to recognise when it would be a bad or good night.
And then he met Nesta and his nightmares changed.
Now he dreamt of his failures with her. Not being able to stop her from being thrown into the Cauldron, not protecting her from Hybern during the War, not helping her heal sooner after the war, letting her be kidnapped again and thrown in the Blood Rite.
Nothing could have prepared him for those nightmares, nightmares that got worse after they finally got together.
Because finally being able to be with the love of his life, his Nesta, his wife and mate… that made him incredibly afraid. Afraid that the happiness he had never felt before would be stolen from him, leaving him empty, a sad and lonely youngling in the bitter snow all over again.
The first time Cassian had a nightmare after he and Nesta had wed, he had woken up in a cold sweat, heart beating so loudly on his ears that for a second he thought he was hearing the Illyrian war drums. He had dreamt of the night she had been Made, of dragging himself over the cold floor of Hybern’s throne room, the pain of his shredded and bloody wings almost non-existent at the face of Nesta’s despair. At her screams of rage as she was dragged under the cold dark waters of the Cauldron.
He had only calmed down when he realised Nesta was safely sleeping beside him, arms around him tightening and her sleepily mumbling at him.
“Where are you going?”
Cassian had considered untangling himself from his wife’s warm embrace and going over some leftover documents, silently keeping watch over her. But one look at her sleeping face had his resolve weakening.
“Nowhere, Nes” he had settled beside her, dropping a kiss on her forehead “Go back to sleep”
Whenever Cassian had a nightmare, he would try his best to not wake up Nesta. He did not want to bother her with his worries and fears. And somehow the Mother must have taken pity on him, because he was scarcely having any bad nights since they'd gotten married. Sure, he still had nightmares, but those made him want to rip his own heart out had stopped.
He took that as a small blessing. He would take the good nights over no dreams if that meant that the unbearable nightmares would be kept at bay.
However, Nesta was not oblivious that something preyed on her husband’s mind. She had noticed how worn out he was, how when he smiled at her and said nothing was wrong his smile did not reach his eyes.
But Nesta wanted Cassian himself to tell her what was happening. Wanted him to open his heart about what was making the circles beneath his eyes darker with each passing day without her having to dig it out of him. He had told her months ago during that hike at Illyria that she could be silent and he would be waiting for her to open up when she felt comfortable, as long as she did not shut him out. Now Nesta would do the same. She would wait beside him, offering her support however she could until he was ready to talk.
“You are unusually quiet today,” Nesta noted. They were resting on the sofa in front of the fireplace — Nesta reading a book and Cassian lying down, his head on her lap — having a quiet late evening after the training session with the Valkyries in the morning.
“Missing the sound of my lovely voice, Nes? Should I read out loud a paragraph from your book?” Cassian teased, opening an eye. He had slept poorly the night before, and the quiet sound of the embers crackling on the fireplace and his mate absentmindedly running her free hand through his hair had him battling sleep.
“No,” she closed her book, “it was merely an observation.”
Cassian closed his eyes again, smiling softly.
“Are you sure? I am certain the House would love to hear all about your newest smutty book”
The faelights flicked twice, as if agreeing with him.
“Oh hush now, you can read it after I am done with it. ” Nesta said, glaring at the ceiling “I never knew a sentient being more impatient”
Cassian laughed. At first he had been surprised when Nesta talked to the House, but he had grown used to it, even talking to It on more than one occasion.
“Do you want to move to our room?” Nesta asked, gently running her hands through his hair “it is more comfortable than the couch”
Cassian merely sighed “No, I am very comfortable like this” he turned on his side, arms circling her waist and wings dropping a little on the floor “I am afraid I will keep you hostage while I nap.”
Whatever Nesta meant to say was lost when she noticed how his breath had eased, her mate having already fallen asleep. And before she could even ask, the House flicked off the faelights, drawing shut the curtains of the room they had turned into their living room.
“Thank you,” Nesta found it quite endearing how the House had grown to care about Cassian as much as It cared about her. In the beginning, It liked to play pranks on him and even sided with Nesta whenever she and Cassian had an argument — once It locked Cassian outside and only let him in when he apologised. Over time, however, they had formed a rather close friendship.
Nesta opened her book again, turning on the small faelight that Azriel had gifted her on Solstice. She had just gotten to the juicy part and she knew that little light would not wake Cassian any time soon if the way he was softly breathing was any indication of how deeply he was sleeping.
She had read half of the book when she felt an uneasy feeling through the bond. She looked down at Cassian and saw his breathing getting uneven, his arms tightening around her waist.
“Cass?” Nesta whispered softly, setting her book aside. She could feel his fear and anguish through the bond, and it pained her that she could do nothing to ease his pain.
Cassian whimpered, and although Nesta knew better than to wake up someone having a nightmare, she could not stand to see him in such pain.
“Cassian, wake up, please” she tugged on her end of the bond, her hands cupping his face. He woke up gasping, hazel eyes huge and scared.
“A bucket,” he managed to say as he scrambled up, his breathing erratic “I need—”
No sooner had the House made a bucket appear than Cassian was on his knees, emptying his stomach. Nesta kneeled beside him, holding his hair back and rubbing his back.
“It is okay, everything is fine now” she said softly.
The House made a glass of water and a towel appear, Nesta thanking It quietly. Cassian had closed his eyes, breathing as if he had just learned how to.
“Hey,” she grabbed his face “open your eyes Cass.”
His hands came up, grabbing her wrists like he was wandering at the sea and she was his lifeline.
“That is it, just look at me” she said softly yet firmly, his scared hazel eyes meeting her blue-grey ones “Breath, Cassian.”
Nesta took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it go slowly. Cassian copied her, and after a few minutes his breathing had become normal again, his racing heart also slowing down.
“I am sorry,” that was the first thing he said, voice hoarse “I did not want you to see me like this”
“Nonsense,” Nesta dismissed, giving him the glass of water and making him drink it “you have seen me in much worse conditions”
“Are you ready to tell me what is going on?” she asked.
Cassian nodded his head, biding his time by taking another sip of water and using the towel to clean his mouth.
“For as long as I could remember I’ve had nightmares,” he began “There are the good nightmares and bad nightmares. The good ones usually wake me and leave me with a feeling of failure.”
Nesta remembered the nights in which she would wake up to an empty bed, Cassian going over reports — she would sit on his lap and give remarks as he went over them —  or just standing on their balcony. On those nights she would go over to him and bring him back to bed.
“I am cold” she would say, and he would hug her tightly and Nesta would let him think that she did not notice how he needed the hug more than she did.
She could always feel his sadness through the bond, no matter how hard he tried to close his end of that golden thread that binds them together so intrinsically.
“And the bad ones?” Nesta quietly asked.
“The bad ones leave me like this,” he said with a self deprecating laugh “A complete and utter mess, barely functioning.”
“You have been sleeping poorly for a while now. Why didn’t you talk to me?” Cassian must have seen the hurt on her eyes, felt it through the bond, because he grabbed her hands, squeezing them.
“I am not good with words, I am sure you have noticed that,” he smiled weakly “I wish I was half as eloquent as you are.”
“You managed just fine in our wedding” she said with an arched eyebrow, and that got a real laugh out of him.
“I was inspired that day, I will admit.” he got serious again “But I think that maybe spending a lot of time being alone and angry did not help with my inability to find the right words to express what I am feeling. And to share my problems with others.”
Nesta had noticed this particular trait of Cassian, especially after she had stopped keeping him at arms lengths and had finally allowed herself to admit what she felt for him. He loved his family deeply, would put himself at risk for others in a heartbeat, would always have a happy face and joke to lighten the mood.
He cared for and about everyone, but what about him? Who did the same to him?
Nesta wanted to be the one with whom he could discard his happy mask and show a range of emotions.
“You can always talk to me Cassian,” she said “Anytime, no matter what.”
“I don't want to burden you. You already went through so much that to further worry you with something as silly as a nightmare—”
“I cannot believe you are saying this,” Nesta said, and Cassian could feel her anger and disappointment through the bond “You could never burden me and for you to even suggest otherwise—”
“I am your wife, Cassian. Your mate. If I don’t care and worry about you, who will?” she continued after taking a deep breath to calm herself “Besides, it is not a silly nightmare if it affected you this way”
Cassian stayed a few minutes quiet, mindlessly playing with her wedding band, brows furrowed in concentration.
“Another reason I was hesitant to talk to you about the nightmares is because— because now I have nightmares about you, Nes” he avoided her eyes while he talked, still focused on her hands “The good nightmares are the ones about my failures with you. Not stopping Hybern, not helping you sooner…”
Nesta’s heart almost broke when he said that. How could he think that about himself when he had been the one to tell her months ago when they visited the old shabby cottage she had lived with her family in poverty that there was nothing she could have done to stop Hybern and save her father?
“And the bad?” she asked, wishing he would look at her.
“The bad ones are about you dying in my arms. About you realising I am nothing more than a bastard born nobody, who is not deserving  of even the air you breathe and then leaving to go travel the world, to marry a king from the continent or from other fae lands.” his voice got quieter, almost a whisper, as if he was afraid of telling her what he saw on those nights “Of you simply leaving me and never looking back.”
“Tonight— tonight was a bad one,” he finally looked at her and his face was so utterly wrecked with pain and desperation that Nesta wanted to tell him that she would stop his nightmares, that she would bargain with the Mother and even that blasted Cauldron to leave him alone.
“I dreamt that when Briallyn ordered me to kill I could not turn the knife on myself. So I killed you. And she got the Mask and kept reviving you so I had to kill you over and over and over again” silent tears started running down his face and her heart truly shattered.
She hugged him tight, Cassian burying his head on her shoulder.
“Shh xe nhia, I am here,” Nesta knew a few words in Illyrian, and she hoped that the use of them, the familiarity that they brought, would help Cassian “I am not leaving you. Not now and not ever”
“However, if you keep trying to spoil my books I might become Ems’ newest house mate” she joked, making Cassian laugh.
“I would be completely lost without you Nes,” he said with a weak smile.
“I know,” she tenderly brushed his cheeks, drying his tears “Promise me something?”
“Anything you desire”
“Promise me you will wake me up when you have another nightmare, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Promise me you will talk to me and let me be beside you when you are in need.” she pleaded.
“I promise” Cassian kissed her cheek, gathering her in his arms and walking towards their bedroom. Reluctantly setting her down, he went to their bathroom to freshen up while Nesta changed out of her dress.
Cassian walked back in to find her wearing one his favourite sweaters.
“I had been looking for that sweater”
“You were? Funny how it ended up in my drawer. Maybe the House put it there by mistake” Nesta shrugged, knowing very well that she had been the one to steal it. She was constantly stealing Cassian’s clothes.
“You do look better on it than me, so I think I can forgive that small mishap” he said, getting under the covers and hugging Nesta close.
“I love you, Nes” he whispered in her ear “And thank you”
“I love you too, Cass,” she replied, snuggling closer to him.
And that night, for the first time in a long while, Cassian had no nightmares.
tag list: @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @arinbelle @letstakethedawn @katekatpattywack @nestaarcheron @imagine-me @sv0430 @starryblueskies7 @live-the-fangirl-life @valkyriewarriors @readskk @wannawriteyouabook @imwritingthesewords @rainbowcheetah512 @moodymelanist @castielspelvis
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jimraisedmeup · 3 days
Text
TICK // 4.1 - the chain
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Rating: mature (talk of homophobia, angst, language, sexual content)
Word Count: 1300
Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
December 1983 - junior year
The morning after the barn party, you sat uncomfortably on the pew in between your mother and Robin.
The pastor was ranting about something you really didn't believe in. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your mother quietly nodding along to the sermon. Robin, on the other hand, was particularly jittery - her leg bouncing up and down made the whole pew shake slightly.
Your father leaned his head forward, shooting his two daughters a stern look. 
"Sit still. Can't either of you behave appropriately in public?"
You spoke up before Robin could. "Sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have had that second cup of coffee today."
He scrutinized his eldest daughter for a moment. "This is the house of God. Pay attention."
Once your parents stopped fussing, you looked at your sister. Robin still seemed anxious for some reason. Trying to make the best of an annoying situation, you gently pinched Robin's arm.
Love you, Robbie, you mouthed at her.
Minutes ticked by and it felt like hours. 
Successfully drowning out the noise of the church service, you pondered over your actions from the night before. 
Daydreaming about sinning in the Lord's house. You almost snickered to yourself. 
Eddie Munson.
You didn't believe in anything religious, but for lack of a better word, you felt possessed at the thought of him.
Sure, growing up you were a firm believer in God and everything that came along with it. Your parents were devout Catholics. They did their best to raise you and Robin in a God-fearing household.
Things changed over the last two years, though, and as you watched your younger sister suffer so greatly at your parent's beliefs, your own beliefs slowly dissipated. 
What kind of God wouldn't accept Robin Buckley, no matter who she loved?
You felt jaded and a little betrayed. The girl you used to be - who thought God was always right and we should repent for our sins - was naive and brainwashed by her parents. By the church.
You would take Robin's secret to your grave, or at least until the day where the younger Buckley girl could kiss a girl in public and not be burnt at the stake. You felt an uncontrollable instinct to protect your baby sister.
That's where your cynical view of the world began to take over. You suddenly felt free and independent, not to mention closer to Robin than you ever were before. But you were always on edge, fists up, ready to fight anyone who wanted to judge Robin.
And now you had a whole new thing in your life. A boy that most people in Hawkins looked down upon simply because he was different. Weird.
Your parents would probably have simultaneous heart attacks if they found out that you had your first kiss behind a dirty barn, kneeling in front of Eddie like you were worshiping at an altar.
Squirming a bit in your seat, you glanced at your parents with an irrational fear that they might read your mind and discover your sins. Melissa and Richard Buckley were completely ignoring you, though, and kept their full attention on their beloved pastor. 
Until you could graduate high school and move out, you came to the gloomy conclusion that hiding most of yours and Robin's personal lives from your parents was the path of least resistance. Best to not disrupt Mommy and Daddy’s image of perfection! 
Don't look behind the curtain, Mr. and Mrs. Buckley. One of your daughters is a raging homosexual and the other one fantasizes about sweaty premarital sex with the town freak.
You weren't really sure what came over you the night before. Maybe it was the stereotypical jocks pissing you off at the party. Maybe it was your religious parents neglecting you at home. Or maybe you just liked having secrets, like the tattoo. 
Including little secrets like your damp panties after kissing Eddie at the barn party, which were currently sitting at the bottom of the washing machine so no one could side-eye them in your laundry basket.
You didn't feel judged by Eddie Munson. Even though he was everything that you were taught to avoid as a child.
The pastor before you spoke calmly. 
"...marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral…"
And if you don't love me now You will never love me again I can still hear you saying You would never break the chain
Monday arrived quickly and, for once, Eddie was actually happy to go to school.
He was nervous, though. Crossing his fingers, he was hoping that you weren't the kind of girl to kiss him on a Saturday night and then continue to act like she didn't know him in public.
Anger bubbled under his skin, simmering frustration. He reminded himself that he didn't really know you yet. The older Buckley sister was mysterious and closed off. It was hard for him to guess what battles you could be fighting in your mind.
Cause, hell, did he know all about inner demons.
The feeling of your cold lips brushing against his own was in the forefront of his mind. It was a quick, simple kiss - he had wanted to touch you, lay his hands between your warm thighs, but you pulled away and rushed back inside the barn before he could get a word out.
Eddie leaned against his locker. Gareth was talking to Jeff next to him, something about new t-shirt designs for the Hellfire Club.
He remained nonchalant as he watched students flood past him, bustling and energetic on a cold December morning. Among the crowd, Eddie spotted your distinct figure. Thankfully, you appeared to be alone.
"Buckley! Y/N, wait up, will you?"
As usual, your face was expressionless, but your eyes glinted with some kind of emotion as he walked beside you. You fiddled with the knitted hat in your hands.
"You know, sunshine, I am a classy broad. I charge fifty bucks per hour for my services. How long was our kiss the other night? Five seconds?" Eddie's confidence swelled when you smiled at his crazy antics.
But you still looked a little defensive, stopping and looking around you. "Uh, yeah. Five seconds, tops."
"So…" he continued, pretending to count on his fingers. "You owe me…"
"Four dollars and fifteen cents." You smirked at him.
Eddie groaned dramatically. "Oh, Christ, don't tell me you're a math nerd."
"I like to call it a gift, Munson."
"I probably wouldn't have let you throw yourself all over me at that party if I had known any better."
You snorted, "You're kind of an asshole."
"That's hilarious, because you're literally the biggest asshole I've met in a long time."
And then Nancy Wheeler appeared, closely followed by Carol Perkins. “Hey, walk with us to History?"
You waved Eddie off as you strolled away. "See you around." 
He would have written the whole encounter off as a win if he didn't catch the conversation between you and Carol.
"...what did he want? He's so creepy."
"Oh, nothing. Just questions about math homework."
Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
He felt a little defeated for the rest of the school day until he walked out to his van in the parking lot.
A folded piece of paper was tucked under his windshield wiper. Eddie quickly scoped the groups of people around him, checking for any sign of it being a dumb prank. Like the time last year when someone wrote freak in red paint on his back window.
But no one was looking at him. The paper was probably just an advertisement or something.
Eddie was surprised to see a crisp ten dollar bill laying inside the folded paper, like a makeshift envelope. 
Unfolding it further, he could see neat cursive handwriting.
This should get me a few more minutes with you, right?
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light
(song lyrics credit: "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac)
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acourtofthought · 3 days
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Whenever I see an Elriel say: SJM told us the mating bond could be rejected for a reason! Elain is going to reject Lucien to be happy with Azriel!
The only thing I can think is: Yes, she did tell us that, but she also told us the consequences of that, and that's the part Elriels always seem to forget or ignore.
Even if Elain does reject the bond, she will never be able to be fully happy with Azriel because she will always feel the remnants of the bond lingering deep inside her chest. Even if she loves Azriel and wants to give him her heart, mind, body, and soul, a piece of her will always be tied to Lucien. There's no getting away from that. It's a simple fact, and as interesting as a rejected bond could be, it doesn't seem fair or right to have Elain end up with Azriel when they will both be eternally haunted by the shadow of Lucien.
And it doesn't seem fair or right for Lucien to suffer a rejected bond, even if somehow the Vassien shippers are right and he ends up in love with Vassa, he too will forever feel the lingering bond and then what? Vassa is human and will die much sooner than Lucien. So I guess they want him to be "happy" only for a few decades, then just go on living the rest of his life alone, haunted by the loss of Jesminda, Elain, and Vassa.
You're so right! If you ask me for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I take away the peanut butter and jelly, I'm just feeding you bread. Sarah has given us a ton of information regarding the bond yet E/riels cling to the random snippets of information that suit their narrative while acting like the rest doesn't matter.
"You said your mother and father were wrong for each other." "What if - that is what she needs?" They love that line and it's used exhaustively in arguments. But they don't bother to think on why Rhys's parents were a poor matched. Bonds do not make poor matches. Personalities make poor matches. Rhys's father was vicious and cold, his mother was soft and fiery. We KNOW Lucien is not vicious or cold. Az is the one with a temper, an icy rage, a hatred of many people, a torturer. Rhys's mother managed to have two children with her husband and we're not given hints that she was forced against her will, it says she eventually grew to resent him. Why don't they focus on that part? That their downfall came about from their personalities? And with that awareness, how they can they claim the same won't happen to Elain and Az? She might be fine with him for a bit but what if she eventually grew to resent him too? You don't need a mating bond for that to happen, it happens all the time in the real world without bonds. They focus on how Sarah mentioned she has turned the idea of bonds over in her head, is there choice? Once again, proof for E/riels that Elain's choice has been taken away and she's decide to be with Az instead! But they ignore how she goes on to say "or is it both?". For every character so far, it's been both and she even tells us she's not saying whether she'll explore a rejected bond or not which is not a confirmation that it's what we're going to see for Elain. As always, they ignore how Elain and Lucien will always feel a tug to one another even if they reject the bond. They pretend that one doesn't exist but what that means is that no matter how long Elain and Az are together, no matter how happy they might seem, they are BOTH going to know that Fate chose Lucien for her and she'll have a connection to him that she'll never have with Az. That sounds depressing to me and will prevent many readers from ever feeling confident that it's not going to become an issue for them at some point. It raises too many questions, how often will Az be jealous because of it? How many fights will they have where Elain needs to reassure him that she's not thinking of Lucien? That she didn't sense him through the bond? What will E/riel do if Az comes across his own mate some day?
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