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#am i overanalyzing things? most likely! and i want to be clear that this is just speculation and i don't claim to be an expert

satormi · 3 months

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— JJK MEN WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP !

a/n: reupload from my old blog. jeehjajs i need them so badly.

NANAMI knows you’re not asleep. if there’s one thing you know most about nanami, it’s how light of a sleeper he is. that’s why, even though you’re struggling to fall asleep, you try not to twist and turn around the sheets, though that fails. it’s only when you hear him clear his throat (even though he did it on purpose just to let you know that he was awake), you decide to gently tap his shoulder. he responds immediately, shifting to his side so he can face you. “yes, baby? what’s up?” he asks, raspy voice and all. although it’s 2 am, you can perfectly make out nanami’s beautiful face with the help of the moon light, via the sheer curtains in the room. you find yourself getting lost in his beauty and it’s not until he gently grabs your hands and intertwines it with his that you finally get the courage, (or at least attempt to), speak to him about your restlessness. but he understands – he always does. “i’m not feeling that tired either,” he winks, “let me make us some tea and talk.” you want to tell him that you know he’s completely exhausted, but he’s already pushing the both of you out of bed and to the kitchen. you figured that he may not mind staying up for a bit more.

it’s not until you tap TOJI’s shoulder for the fifth time that he blinks and slowly comes to his senses. poor guy, he can hear your mumbles but he isn’t fully able to process what’s going on because of how drowsy he is. at this point, you’re staring at him with teary eyes and all toji can do is deadpan, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. “i told ya not to read the ending of that book this late y’know. if ya read it earlier, y’could’ve had more time to recover. ” he grunts. you sniff once and nod your head and all toji can do is roll his eyes as he brings you into a tight embrace. he can act irritated all he wants, but he finds it so entertaining that the book he recommended you to read really took this much of a toll on you. he read it on a business trip and thought you’d really enjoy it. boy was he wrong. “they didn’t end up being together, toji.” you wail, arms wrapping around his torso even tighter. “i know, baby. i know.” he sighs, planting a kiss on your forehead when you sniffle again. “toji, we can never break up. if i couldn’t handle the book’s break up, i won’t handle ours.” and he only chuckles, because honestly, why is this book putting thoughts like these in your head? it’s fiction, toji thinks, but then again, it’s you we’re talking about. “ya can’t get rid of me, ‘m in it for the long run, babe.”

if you can’t go to sleep, SATORU will definitely try to help or (for lack of better words) force you to go to sleep. when he feels you shuffling around, he’ll grunt before placing his body on top of yours, hugging you tightly before mumbling “sleep” in your hair. “i’ll try if you get off of me. you’re crushing me to death!” you say and he contemplates for a few seconds, but ultimately decides that you’re a really comfortable body pillow. from how he’s laying, he can feel your heart beating and your soft, steady breaths and it makes him wonder why he never thought of using you as a mattress before. “promise?” even though you nod your head, satoru can feel your smile on his collarbone which easily gives away that you’re not telling the truth. regardless, satoru still rolls off to the side and stares at the ceiling with you. “what’s bothering you,” he almost whispers, it’s soft and genuine and that alone is enough to make your heart throb at 2 am. it’s also really funny seeing his concerned look right now because he doesn’t know he’s overanalyzing the whole situation. you see, you didn’t eat dinner tonight. satoru ordered you takeout on his way home because he assumed you’d be hungry, but you weren’t, so you let him have yours.what you failed to realize though, is how hungry you’d be and now you’re facing the consequences. you finally sigh and turn your body so you’re face to face with him on the bed. “‘toru,” you bite back the laugh that wants to come out because of how serious satoru looks right now. you figured that you should tell him straight up to ease his mind of any possible negative thoughts he could be thinking. “i’m really hungry.” and gojo sighs, (you can’t tell if it’s of relief or disappointment so you choose the latter), and props his head up so his elbows are supporting him. “i am too.” “you ate your takeout and mine.” you mirror satoru’s actions, propping your elbow to get a better look at his face and he blinks at you twice. you can’t tell if he’s lying or not. “do you want food or not?” with that, you roll off the bed before stating, “i’ll get the car keys!”

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crystaldust · 7 months

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If you're feeling stuck with non dualism, this might be able to help you

warning: long post

You get into this philosophy and you see bloggers advice to just claim everything as "not yours, not your problem" and move on with your day. What I'm realizing recently is that maybe not everyone can start off doing that, at least I certainly couldn't.

I believe what they mean by claiming thoughts as not yours is to leave the mind alone so that it can become quiet, as encouraged by Lester in his book. But what he also says is that doing that can be really difficult sometimes if your subconscious is filled with opposing feelings and thoughts to what you'd like to have in your life. So he advised to clear some of that subconscious heavy weight before trying to quiet the mind. (You can read more about this here)

And here's the big breakthrough for me: learning about the Sedona Method and practices of letting go of subconscious beliefs. I went ahead and found more material on it (you can access everything here), I've read some of it and started to apply it.

Now I had been practicing introspection for over a year so I am acutely aware of most of my subconscious issues (which make up this ego's identity in the world) but what I realized was that even though I had been aware of these self issues for a long time, I never tried to let go of them. I've had attached myself to them, claimed them to be my identity, they made me who I was.

With this new knowledge on how to let go, I started to try it out, everytime i felt bad or encountered unwanted circumstances, I'd try my best not to suppress the feelings or thoughts that would come up. Then I started to ask myself "Can I let go of this?" or "Can I let this be / Can I be ok with it?" and if I got an answer of "no" I'd then ask "Why not?" and immediately I'd see that it was just because that's how it is for the ego, it's a habitual pattern. And by now I already know that memory and continuity are part of the ego illusion so there's no real standing for these patterns to be in place. I just kept them there because I didn't know better.

The more I practiced letting go in this way, the easier it got and now I'm at a place where the mind is starting to naturally grow quieter. I'm not even asking those questions as much anymore, I immediately recognize what's happening and I let it be, whatever it is. It is also easier for me to do self-inquiry now and sometimes I catch myself wanting to focus on finding out my true nature rather than indulging the ego and it's never ending cycle of desiring and suffering.

The ego still wants to think and overanalyze everything, running in circles, but I have this knowing sense that it's useless, there's no point in thinking about anything. I still am experiencing the ego's life just as before but now I am being able to detach, to say "not me, not my problem" and move on mentally quite quickly. I don't dwell on the bad anymore. It happened to the ego and there's nothing they could have done about it, it is what it is, I don't need to entertain it anymore.

I still acknowledge the ego's desires and fears but I can actually leave it alone now, I KNOW it's not my true self and I'm at peace with it. I feel whatever comes up and then a minute later it's gone and I rarely think about it. I'm able to be more present and live in the moment.

All of this is to say that I had to understand and practice letting go to a degree in order to be able to understand and practice what more advanced bloggers recommend.

Final tips: ♡ Practice introspection, go deep and be honest with yourself. Understand who the ego is, what it feels and believes in, how it gets triggered and why. This will make it easier to make peace with it and let it alone. ♡ Start practicing letting everything happen, and I mean everything, every circumstance, every feeling, every thought. Try to control nothing. You might notice that if you let the ego do it's thing, it will pipe down quite easily. ♡ Remember that every single thing comes from the ego, every thought, every feeling, every fear, every doubt, every desire and every circumstance. And the ego is absolutely helpless in it's pursue. You can't help it, what you can do is accept it and love it unconditionally (you can actually do this!)

Big thanks to @4dkellysworld for turning me in the right direction 💖

#o #non dualism #nondualism #letting go #surrendering #4dbarbie #welp scared to post this lol #personal journey

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lovemyromance · 3 months

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SJM: I thought it was obvious??

AKA - No analysis needed. The clues are there. Things are already happening.

Please keep your 80 page PowerPoints and highlighted words from your “8 books of canon” (none of which are actually from ACOTAR, btw) to yourself.

“I thought it was obvious” = no deep dives needed. No extrapolation or analysis necessary. The words are already on the page. You don’t have to work harder than SJM to come up with your own theories (*cough* see HOFAS crazy hype theories vs actual book)

“I thought it was obvious”

The ONLY couple currently mutually attracted to each other is Elriel. They have had moments since ACOMF. ACOSF did not end them, it gave them the setup for the next book. They are set up for the greatest tortured forbidden romance of the series, how can you dispute that? Why would you WANT to dispute that love story? I don’t want ACOSF 2.0 which was all physical and no substance. I want an angsty, slow forbidden romance. I want to fall in love when the characters fall in love. Elriel will give us that.

“I thought it was obvious”

The other ships do NOT exist on the page at the moment. Elucien, I will give credit to because they are still mates so that COULD happen still. But right now, where ACOSF ended, they had barely even seen each other in a year. The only romantic coded interactions have been between Azriel & Elain thus far.

“I thought it was obvious”

Elucien & Gw*riel have not shared any romantic moments. There is no romance between them at this current time in the series. I am not talking about “what could happen” or “what could Sarah be setting up” because she said it was obvious. That means it’s there already. There’s no reason to hypothesize and theorize about ships that don’t currently exist in the book. Because - and say it with me-

“I thought it was obvious”

What is obvious about elucien? Other than the fact that they are mates. That’s it. That’s all they have. Not even a conversation on the page. Not even a shared shy glance or brush of their fingers. It’s the equivalent of an arranged marriage neither of them seems to want. Analyzing 20 sentences about flowers and sunlight, going out of your way to prove feyre is an “unreliable” narrator when she questions the bond (but Cassian, fashion police of Velaris, is a very very reliable narrator)-Why? Is any of that obvious to the casual reader? No.

“I thought it was obvious”

I’m not even going to spend many words talking about Gw*nriel, as I don’t see it as anything more than a crackship. They have like 4 platonic interactions. Friendly. Banter, sure. But not all banter is a clue that people are predestined soulmates. Most people who read their interactions are not going to overanalyze spark and glow and shadow behavior. They shouldn’t have to because - again - none of that is obvious.

“I thought it was obvious”

Shy glances and subtle scenes in the background wasn’t enough for those who claim to be reading experts. So SJM released a bonus chapter where in clear black and white text, you see both Azriel and Elain desperate for each other. This man is willing to BEG on his knees for a taste of her/ the end. Why would you even want him with anyone else after that?

“I thought it was obvious”

All these characters I’ve mentioned have been supporting characters this entire series. Nothing concerning them is going to happen in someone else’s book-but the seeds have been sewn. Any scene with Elain could have been written with Lucien or her sisters instead of Azriel - but it wasn’t.

Ex: when majda says, “if anyone can figure out what’s wrong, it’s a mate”

Lucien is THERE. Feyre is THERE. Nesta is THERE. But who figures it out - not her mate, nor her sisters - Azriel.

Lucien could’ve shown her the garden, feyre could’ve sat with her and listened to Elain’s garden plans till 3am - but no - it was Azriel.

And this man is the only one in the NC I’m convinced that has an actual job and responsibilities. So he is choosing to spend what little free time he has with ELAIN. What’s not clicking, folks?

“I thought it was obvious”

Sarah-we love her-but she is Queen of cliches. Her writing is not some insane thriller level that has you gasping every page turn. She likes threes, she likes happy endings, she likes her male LIs desperate for their female counterparts. The answer to Amarantha’s riddle was LOVE. CC had “through love all is possible”.

You really think she wrote the line “hoped love would trump even a mating bond” and it meant nothing?

SJM doesn’t do anything easy. But she said it was obvious- because it IS.

#elriel #pro elain #elain archeron #elain x azriel #azriel

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neonscandal · 4 months

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Hello, I'm new to the jujutsu fandom, I've already watched season 1 of the movie and I'm in season 2 of jujutsu, I also follow the jujutsu manga, I liked your tumblr and started following you, I like your analyzes and you make me understand more jujutsu, thank you. I have a question, don't you think Sukuna is a boring villain, sorry, but he's too annoying, even Mahito is more interesting than him and it's impressive that Mahito gave more weight to the work than Sukuna, Sukuna killed Gojo and his death It had no significance in the work, it's something terrible, I think the author got lost.

Anon(s), please still try to be mindful of spoilerssss, even if, mid sentence, you just throw one up so other readers know. I'd appreciate it since, even though I'm not a spoiler free blog, I at least tag. I am no stranger to falling behind and trying to avoid leaks and spoilers, myself and my IRL friends are anime onlys to some of the things I obsess about. All that to say: I'm glad you're here (both in the fandom and in my inbox)! Bear in mind, these are very much just the impassioned rants of a silly little person on the internet so who knows.

One thing that I've realized about JJK villains, especially in most recent chapters, is they're never quite who we assume at face value. In this battle between humans and the negative human emotions that spawn curses... each of the villains has a really striking human quality to them whether we understand it or not. In fact, it makes their whole mission of toppling the current paradigm that much more interesting when you consider their origin. I think it was Jogo who said curses were more human than humans which... when you look at the root cause of Geto's defection... he might be onto something.

To that end, Mahito wasn't really lying when he told Yuji that they were one in the same. Humans and curses are two sides of the same coin.

⚠️ Spoiler warning for chapter 248 of JJK.

If you haven't read the light novels, you'd be interested to find that in a chapter I don't overanalyze, there's a story focused around Mahito. It appears in Jujutsu Kaisen Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust.

In the chapter, our typical chaos gremlin who is quick to torture first and question never stumbles upon a vagrant. He finds, in the company of a man who has not and wants not, that he exists harmoniously and curiously. In his soul, he sees an unflappable peace that is not evident in other humans and behaves accordingly around him. Day after day, he causes no harm. They even converse, reasonably and academically to an extent. Uh - Mahito is like an avid reader, by the way. While you can argue this is outside of the realm of what's canon, think of Jogo's affinity to mourn Hanami. Hoping to meet Dagon in the wasteland of souls beyond. Very human hopes which are even echoed by Mahito in canon when Haruta the curse user was sneakily going to kill Hanami. Mahito stopped him with intention because even curses have camaraderie which the humans they consort with apparently lack.

Kenjaku is another villain where, even in his twisted delights and subsequent plans for the future, safely delivers Sasaki outside of the realm of the Culling Games and thanks her for befriending his son... What? This appreciation is so humble and endearing but, of course it is, it is that of a mother. Something he decisively lacks with Choso and the cursed womb paintings but still. It goes against the grain of the rest of his character, you know?

Toji, the man who can't be bothered to remember the name of the kid he sold back to the hell hole he grew up in and yet thinks of him as he breathes his last breaths. When his body was reanimated in Shibuya and was hardwired to find and fight the strongest... that recognition on his face when he realized who he was fighting? The animation did a beautiful job of clearing the black of his eyes, softening his gaze toward Megumi. Knowing that it was Megumi Fushiguro and not Zenin he took himself out, happily. Doesn't really ring true of how a lot of fans interpret him as a character.

Now, we have Sukuna. I agree, he seems to be somewhat flat in characterization so far but.. so was everyone else until we got the effective cowlick that indicated their complexity. Now, 248 chapters in, we're seeing the chip in his facade.

Gojo is no stranger to dying though he is extremely unused to comparison. He's the Strongest Sorcerer of the Modern Era, after all. But I wonder if it makes sense to call Sukuna his foil. Imagine Gojo's unchecked ego had he never met Geto. I imagine a life of isolation carrying the burden of one's own grace and strength would absolutely turn out similar to Sukuna's wherein there is no need for purpose beyond one's own whims.

Subsequently, Gojo dying at Sukuna's hands and earning his respect was the first real human connection we see Sukuna receive positively (he gave Jogo a pretty sweet send off, too). It was done with intention, even Gojo hoped to communicate with his tempered body the fact that he too knew that isolation. In universe, it seems to be a form of love (search for "Of Love and Strength" on this post), this understanding. This lapse in Sukuna's indifference is furthered in facing off against fan favorite lawyer Hiromi Higurama.

Following Gojo's demise, Gege has been comparing a lot of characters to the vacuum of power left in his wake. Yuta, I get, but Higurama is an absolute wild card. However, Sukuna sees something in him that he not only respects in this comparison to Gojo... but also stymies him. Especially as he meaningfully comes to terms with his dismissal and abhorrence of Yuji.

What we're seeing is the blossom of his character playing out amidst an all or nothing fight. Stay strapped in, anon!

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aguzsstuff · 8 months

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Hannibal Lecter's femininity analysis

Before starting I want to make clear some points:

This essay/analysis is viewed from a sociological perspective, based on gender stereotypes and gender expectations in the context of 2013.

I am talking about the Hannibal we know in the series Hannibal from NBC.

I will not talk about womanhood as something immovable because I don't think there's a way to be more or less woman but I do think there are traits that are expected from women.

I will not include headcanons in this essay.

With that clear we can start.

Introduction

After I rewatched Hannibal for what felt like the tenth time I decided to watch some video analysis on YouTube, most of them talked about the clear queer "subtext" on Hannibal's and Will's relationship (I wouldn't say is a subtext at all, is very much vocalized in the serie). After I watched some of them I felt like something was missing, but what?

After I started to spiraling over it I knew, all those people analyzed the relationship between the characters but not the characters themselves, specifically not Hannibal (my favorite character), and I find it weird because Hannibal is a interesting character for a million things, but to me, the most interesting part of the character is the way he portraits femininity.

Hannibal has a lot of feminine traits.

Hannibal always talks gently, not even once louder his voice, he doesn't need it, he knows he will be heard by the ones who want to hear him, and the ones who don't aren't important.

He doesn't vocalize his annoyance, when something bothers him you notice it by a minuscule move in his eyes. He keeps himself polite over anything else, even with Mason Verger. He never seems to lose his temper, always in control of his actions, even when he is hurting others.

Hannibal is a caretaker over a protector, he is always finding a way to take care of people around him, mostly feeding them (human flesh, I know), but he also takes care of their wounds, he cleans them, he comforts them.

Hannibal also has some mannerisms which are pretty feminine, like the way he crosses his legs any time he sits (I want to point out that this is something Mads Mikkelsen gives to the character, if you watch any interview of him you will notice he always crosses his legs), or the ways he touches others, always delicately.

His hobbies too can be seen as feminine, his love for art, music, cooking and reading. Even though these aren't strictly feminine, it is indeed more likely to be seen as something a woman would like.

His fashion sense and his neatness too, he takes care of his aspect at the point he has a plastic suit he wears over his tailored ones at the moment of kill.

His love language is acts of service over anything else.

Hannibal's jealousy over any women Will has a relationship with is something I really wanted to point out, he lets Will make these connections but he always finds a way to take them from him, with his children too, because Will didn't accept the one he gave him.

All this traits are something that can be very striking in a man, but if Hannibal were a woman it would be something we expect, something we can see in Bedelia for example, in her all this traits don't seem to be extraordinary, but they made Hannibal to stand out over other men in the series and his social circle. Mostly if we have in mind that he was born in the 1940s 50s (couldn't find out his real age).

Conclusion

Maybe all of this is just an overanalyze from me, maybe it wasn't even thought to be like this. But anyway, I find Hannibal really resonates with the female audience (from what I see in different social media) more than the male audience because of these traits he has, and I very much like that.

I am sorry if this isn't what you expected though, I don't know if I did well, it has been years since I wrote something like this :((

What do you think about this topic? Is there something else you want to point out? Please tell me if you like. I would love to read others' perspectives.

tags: @trannigraham

#hannibal lecter #hannibal #fannibals

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powwidge · 1 year

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rant about ochette and temenos and their (negative) parallels

all below the cut for endgame spoilers and everything!!!! just me talking to myself n tryna arrange my thoughts on Temenos, Ochette, and hwo they relate and are in a very contrasting position which is also kind of all in one big messed up parallel. I'm sorry; this has gotten very long! i tried my best keeping it short

okay so we all can agree that starting with Temenos' route is probably the most satisfying since it starts with a fight against Vide, right? yeha so i have some things to say about that in relation to Ochette and the entire theme of the game to begin with

Something clearly links Ochette and Temenos togehter, namely Roi. the implication that the dark entity of Ochette's chapter 1 is Roi si well... more than just clear, I'd argue. and ok listen: this entire thing MAY be me overanalyzing stuff. so u now get the

disclaimer: i am a literature student. i am taught to overanalyze everyhting and it's my RIGTH to! so bear with me. i have very elaborate thoughts on Ochette and Temenos and how they reflect each other in a very contrastign way.

Roi: right with the beginning of Ochette's route and Temenos' chapter 3 (it was his ch3 i beleive, right?) we get Roi and a direct parallel between their stories. the thing is just - Temenos' knew Roi while alive. Ochette knew him while sort of dead and then completely dead. and that remains the single connecting dot/parallel where this is the case. everything else is things being dead for temenos and things being alive for ochette

Ochette has an entire support system which grows as she travels; she has Juvah, her parents implied to be alive in a banter, Akala/Mahina; she gains more friends in Pom, Acta the Smol, Glacis, Tera, that other lady whose name i forgot i'm really sorry, and with her help, even the hateful Cohazeh becomes soft towards them all and the entire village makes friends with the Beasting Village.

now for temenos, we have EVERYTHIGN in contrast. he loses everythign as he travels; first Roi, the pontifex, later on crick (sorry for the mention guys). he loses literally everyone he loves, be it platonic or familial or romantic or whatever; and the enemy to him? the sacred guard? yeah he low key destroys that thing for a while. and while that's still GOOD, i can't beleive it weighs lightly on him especialyl since stormhail is in a rather tense situation with the gaurd and the mei clan as hinted by loads of npcs. everythign good that happens to ochette happens to him, but in the exactly contrasting way.

on to trust: i think i don't need to say much here; ochette is ever-trusting, but learns to actively distrust some peopel on her journey, learning about the lies of people (especially humans), while the exact opposite happens to temenos: temenos learns to trust people. not just the travelers but also crick. the issue? it's at least implied, or u can read into it, that he does trust mindt; and he gets betrayed once more. whereas Ochette, even at the very end, still trusts people. she trusts the hunter trying to kill Glacis regardlessly, she trusts Juvah, she even trusts Lajackal/mahamowl and tries making friends with them. she trusts something that wants to kill her, while temenos nearly gets killed by someone he trusted

flame/belief: i quite like the difference of faith u have in those two; temenos, an inquisitor, who still doubts the flame's existence, who doubts the gods' existence because that's just waht he does - linked to his trust issues once more, obviously. even though he's one meant to have an unshakable belief, yet he's quite the shady guy, and while his intentions may be good, he doesn't always condcut things the correct way. well. looks at his path action. yeah. hmm! okay temmy! go off! on the other side, there's ochette - far away from any kind of institutionally organized religion, and the only traveller directly meeting "the flame", which saves her life, proving its existence once and for all when that's somethign temenos has forever doubted

i don't really WANT to go as far as to say ochette died, but she did NEARLY die. as the only one out of the cast of her story, meanwhile, temenos is the only one ALIVE out of the cast of his story (minor characters like orth aside, same goes for some of Ochette's side characters, btu i'm talking mainly here akjfghkd)

i feel like saying that any character of the 8 travelers is more or less important than the others would be wrong; however, i do believe that if we're talking characters that the story build on, Temenos' and Ochette are high up there. we have parallels inside of the traveller of someone who nearly succumbs to darkness and someone who looks forward to the dawn, no matter what. temenos' route starting with Vide, in my opinion, is a great hint at him being sth akin to a "main character", story-telling wise - i like to personally make a distinction between main cahracters and protagonists. e.g. in OT1, the travelers are the protags, while graham (and perhaps kit, too) is the main character, who the story actively centers around.

While Temenos' is the embodiment of shadow, esp with his closer relationship to Throné in the crossed paths, one who was originally meant to be a vessel for Vide and who def had one of the most tragic stories, Ochette is the embodiment of the flame, always looking forward despite any grievances she might have - again, related to castti in her crossed paths.

you get a character who, if he wasn't picked up by the pontifex, by roi, and crick, might have been part of the moonshade order otherwise - and a character who is so determinedly looking forward to the dawn that she would have never considered it.

my conclusion? I love temmy and ochette a ot and i cannot keep anythign i say short. anyways there's no conclsion these are just rants. if u read that then uh, congrats! u have witnessed my insanity! :)

#octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler #ochette octopath #temenos mistral #ochette

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voldheart · 1 month

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How comes Ghost gains a likeness towards Godseeker? (I wanna know mooore about the AU sorrynotsorry)

In Game Godseeker at first was very arrogant towards them and just started to show interest in Ghost, when they reached higher Pantheons. She doesn't strike me as the Kind of Person that would be interested in Rebuilding Hallownest because the Bugs there are no Gods. But feel free to change my mind!

Yeah, theyre not gods to a "Higher being" degree, but she considers them "holy" in some way....? you can actually see statues of vengeflies and husks in the hall of gods Which is kind of funny knowing how lowly she thinks of the knight at first lol

my interpretation is that the "holiness" these bugs possess comes from being under the influence of a higher being, be it Radiance or pk in Hallownest's case (mantis lords being the exception for being cool as fuck), which would explain why she doesn't want to have anything to do with the Knight, as it probably has its own thing going on that she did not understand at the time.

In this case she probably wouldn't care much for the bugs at Dirtmouth since most are new to the kingdom. But now that tk ascended into "godhood", maybe she wouldn't mind them much for being it's friends…? idk

As to why Ghost ends up liking Godseeker, i think that her call for powerful beings might have unintentionally pulled it into godhome, getting it to complete pantheons and, subconsciously, getting interested in her. even through all the insults and everything. i mean who doesnt like a big mean woman am i right haha *SWEATING*

THOUGH, as to why i believe it feels affection towards her i'll be talking about that below the cut (post got a bit too long sorryy)

ok just to be clear, the knight barely gets any sort of indication of personality in game, this is all just me overanalyzing Every single little crumb of possible person(bug?)hood I could find. which is kind of nothing honestly since all of this could be intentional or not, but i'm feasting on that shit like crazy

1: One thing (and its kind of the main thing that funnily made me descend into this rabbit hole) is that canonically, you can only gift her a delicate flower AFTER completing p2, which by this point it very much knows what she is like. Now i am aware that this could mean literally anything, but i highly doubt it would gift her a flower out of hate or indiference. That shit is hard as hell to deliver.

2: So a while ago i made this gifset about its walking animations. Something that, as I've noted in the post, it normally does when confronted with something important to it... For some reason TC felt compelled to program that for whenever it encountered Godseeker in between pantheons, despite the slight inconvenience it might cause for gameplay, so it was probably not added for that. at the very least i assume that theres a sort of respect it has for her

3: this post team cherry made promoting Godmaster which i find very funny

4: ok i know this sounds like reaching too hard but im just so obsessed with how despite falling down so violently, it still holds her so very gently here . it's almost as if it puts in the effort to not hurt her in a way. i mean shes standing there on her goddamn bug tippy toes and she barely even budges ? like 🏳️‍🌈?

5: shes hot asfuckkkkkk i rest my case

#.... with all that said im gonna be 100% real rn im just really gay for her #and tk is the perfect self insert as i experience heavy gender envy from it #like literal unrealistic transition goals i mean it. bug sized and everything #kind of embarrassing to admit but it's the honest truth #symvoidsis #sorry i took a bit to reply my adhd ass kept getting distracted😭

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bluehouryoongi · 3 months

Text

BITE ME- 2: The Party

Pairing: Jake x Female Reader

Genre: Vampire Enhypen and Human Reader College Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU

Synopsis: Set in present-day Pacific Northwest US. Y/n in a college student, and keeps to herself. One day, she has strange encounters with two statuesque men, one of which invites her to a party (at their mansion ofc) where she drunkenly confesses that she can't pay her rent. Vast and highly believable events ensue, leading to her live with 7 a-little-too-perfect guys. That's all you need to know.

← Masterlist – Next→

When I walk in the door of my apartment I see that mail has been dropped off. On the top is an envelope that reads *URGENT RENT NOTICE* Shit. It’s due again already? There’s no way I have enough. With all of my classes, I barely have time to pick up shifts at the bookstore. I do as much as I can, but clearly it is not enough. I wouldn’t have this problem if I could have a few roommates…I haven’t been able to find any that would work, though. Everytime I meet up with someone, it is clear that their definition of sharing chores and keeping the apartment in order are VERY different from mine. Do I have a problem? maybe…slightly…I just like to keep things clean. When they are not clean I get panicked, and start sweating and breathing heavily. I know I should just suck it up and get roommates no matter what state they keep their rooms in. The alternative is having to go and live back at home…which is hours away. Not exactly a daily commute distance. I sigh heavily, because this is the last thing I need to be worrying about right now. The semester is ramping up, and my classes are keeping me extremely busy. I hardly have time to eat.

My mind shifts to the party I agreed to go to tomorrow. Now, I am considering that it’s not such a good idea. What was I thinking? I don’t have time to go to parties, I have papers to write! Something about Jake though… it draws me in. Sunoo, too. Even after the short interactions we had I am intrigued and want to know more. They have eyes that make me forget who I am, and what I was thinking. I shake away the thought. I will just reevaluate tomorrow. Right now, I have two papers due that require all of my attention.

Before that, though, I need to spill all of this to Gracie. She knows better than anyone that I rarely have information to gossip about boys. I pull up her contact and hit facetime. She answers immediately.

“Hiiii” She says

“Hi. So. Super weird day.”

“Oh? Tell me more. Did a goose chase you to your car again?”

She will never let me live that down. “No, actually. This has to do with the statues.”

“SPILL!” She practically yells

“Okay, okay… so I ran into Jake today. Like actually rammed into him because I wasn’t looking in front of me because of the rain. Then he gave me his umbrella. Before you ask, yes, he is perfect up close”

She squeals. I’m smiling, too, because this is the most excitement I have had all semester. “Then at work Sunoo comes in and just like, lounges up against the front desk. He doesn’t even look around the store, he just kinda…stared at me? I don’t know. Then he invited me to a party that’s happening at their house tomorrow, and for some reason I said I would go.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“I know.”

“This is insane!!!! Wait, do you think he knows who you are? Do you think he planned to invite you specifically and that’s why he came into the store? What will you wear?!”

For the next hour we go over the interactions multiple times. If there's one thing we are gonna do, it’s overanalyze. I hang up the phone feeling winded from laughing so much. I am actually looking forward to tomorrow now, just thinking about relaying the entire experience back to her the next day. Once I have settled down I realize it is almost midnight and I need to get to homework.

I sit at my desk, put on my classical music playlist, and get to work. Hours later as I lay in bed, I think about my interactions with the two mysterious boys. Why can’t I shake the feeling that I want to know them more? –

I am looking at my closet and quickly realize I have nothing that works to go to this party. Judging by Sunoos clothes yesterday, which was (likely luxury) black straight leg pants, a tastefully oversized sweater, and a long jacket over the top, I can imagine his party outfit will be just as impressive. I try to remember what Jake was wearing and my memory falls short. I was so focused on the fact that he was actually in front of me that I did not take the time to assess his fashion choices. I smile to myself, thinking about the umbrella he gave me. Chivalry is not dead, I guess.

Okay, back to business. I rifle through my closet, and end up deciding to try and replicate what Sunoo wore. Is that weird? I mean, my version looks very different. I end up choosing a pair of straight leg black pants, a dark red corset-style top (something in me decided to buy it months ago and I have never had an opportunity to wear it out), and of course I throw on a chunky knit cardigan on top. Because I may be going to a party, but I am still me.

I opt to keep my hair as-is, mostly because I don’t know how to do anything else. It’s getting longer, probably the longest it's been since high school, hitting just past my shoulders. For makeup, I do a simple winged eyeliner, with lots of blush on my cheeks. Looking at my reflection, I think damn, okay. I did that.

I decide to just wear my sneakers, because I'm not like other girls.

In reality, it is just all I have and I doubt anyone will look at my feet at a party. I check the time, my phone reading 8:36pm. I take a deep breath, grab my purse, and head out the door.

The drive takes about 15 minutes; their house is a little out of the way. I don’t know what to expect as I turn onto a long driveway. I have heard people talk at school, saying that the boys live in a mansion or a castle. I never thought that would be literally true until it is right in front of me.

Wow. This place is massive. I don’t find myself around mansions…ever, actually so I can’t really judge. All I know is the expansive modern/minimalist house is very large, and very nice. Warm lighting spills from inside, and I can’t help but think about how inviting it looks. Something about the persona and reputation of the boys had me expecting it to look cold and dark, but I am quickly realizing I might be reading too many gothic novels.

I find a place to park and take a deep breath. This is WAY outside of my comfort zone. I don’t have many friends, which is how I like it. College people are a lot of work. My mom tells me I'm an old soul because I spend my weekends at a book club with women 50 years and older. It is just easier that way. There is no drama, no misunderstanding, and no unrealistic expectations.

Something about Sunoo made me want to do what he said. Not in a demanding sort of way, just in that something about our personalities just clicked. I think I might have a chance of making a friend my age after all.

–

I can hear the noise of lots of people inside. I am thoroughly intimidated, but I am already here so, fuck it. I open the front door- because I won’t be the person who knocks at a party. I have some sense. I walk in, squeezing past crowds of people. Loud music blares, although I don’t know from where. There must be speakers all throughout this house with how much it is projecting.

A makeshift dance floor has formed, with a few too many people grinding than I want to make eye contact with. As I try and make a beeline out of that area, I feel myself trip on someone's foot. Great. Before I can fully flail and make a fool of myself, I feel arms grab a hold of my wrists and steady me.

I look up and make eye contact with my savior. I am met with deeply brown eyes, long eyelashes, an absurdly chiseled jawline, and tastefully thick eyebrows.

“You okay?” I read his lips, but I can’t hear him over the loud music.

I nod my head in response, and realize I am just as much clutching to his wrists as he is mine. To be honest, I have no idea how much time passes as we stand there, holding wrists and looking into each other's eyes like we are in some romance movie.

Our contact is broken, but only for him to lightly grab hold of my shoulders and bring me closer to him. So close that I no longer can see his face and only feel his breathe on my ear as he says:

“That was definitely my foot you tripped on. I’m sorry.”

I shift so that it is my mouth almost touching his ear in order to respond by saying:

“It could have been anyone. We are packed like sardines in here and I wasn’t exactly paying attention to whose feet were where.” I smile, which I know he can feel because I can see goosebumps form on his porcelain neck.

I lean back, so we are facing each other again. This much eye contact would normally make me squirm, but I am surprisingly keeping my cool. Although I have never met him, I recognize as being one of the guys who lives here. There is perfection about him that can be only described as ethereal. Like a statue.

Okay. Let me not gawk at him.

I clear my throat and look around me. Trying to not make it obvious that I don’t know where to take this conversation.

When I look back at him, there is a ghost of a smile on his lips.

He leans in again, his scent invading my headspace. It's all woody and masculine, but not heavy on the cologne. I can’t help but swoon a little bit.

“I’m Sunghoon,” he says. “And you look like you could use a drink.”

“Yes.” I reply. “I’m y/n.”

The smile, or maybe I should say half smile, stays. I can’t help but notice it falters for just a half second, though.

He grabs a hold of my hand and starts leading me through the crowd before I can overthink that split change in expression. At least I don’t have to worry about tripping over anyone’s toes, the crowd parts for Sunghoon effortlessly. We approach a bar- yes an actual bar. In the house. Money never ceases to amaze me.

Manning the booth is a tall, dark haired, (almost equally to Sunghoon) chiseled individual. I notice there is more of a point to his face, and his expression stays hard. When Sunghoon approaches, he nods in silent recognition. His eyes shift to me, and there lies a question in his eyes. No doubt wondering who I am, and why I am glued to Sunghoon’s side. I am not intentionally staying so close, it just so happens that it's hard to keep a distance when there are so many people packed in a room. Not that I’m complaining. There’s a safety I can’t explain standing with him.

Sunghoon walks behind the bar like he owns the place. Which, I guess he kind of does.

They each have an energy about them that is so magnetizing I just can’t seem to pull away, nor do I want to. He looks over to me, grinning, and I melt. I am no better than the gossiping girls who fawn over the elusive statue boys. He hands me a reddish pink drink in a glass. I look around to the others around me. Everyone else is holding red solo cups, which is what I expected as well. But no, I have an ice- cold crystal glass in my hands. I almost hold it with both hands just to be cautious. I take a small sip to find a very strong vodka cranberry. I don’t drink often, so I know I will have to nurse this one drink all night in order to not regret all my choices.

Sunghoon rejoins me at my side, holding an identical glass. A comfortable silence surrounds the two of us as we stand on the outskirts of the thick crowd of partiers.

“y/n.” I can feel his breath on my ear, shivers running through my body.

“Hm?” I reply, turning to face him again.

“You’ve never come to our parties before.” It’s not a question.

“No, I haven’t. How did you know?”

“You are clearly not comfortable here. Plus I would have known.” He doesn’t elaborate just how he would have known.

“Hm.” I say again. Why do I keep humming? My mind is swimming with thoughts and completely blank simultaneously.

Just before he can say another word, I feel someone grab both my shoulders.

“You came!!” Sunoo. I take a relaxed breath.

“Hi!” I say and turn to face him.

He wraps me in a hug. I’m a little stiff, as I would not have expected this level of affection, however I lean into it. It’s nice.

“I didn’t think you would actually show. You look hot by the way. All the right choices.” I feel triumphant.

“Thank you,” I say with a smile. I don’t know when we became such good friends, but I am not mad about it. I haven’t felt this kind of friendship in…years.

“Do you dance?” he asks, “Please come dance”

How could I say no? With the twinkle in his eye, I could never.

“Sure, yeah, let's do it!”

I feel additionally much more open to the idea of dancing with Sunoo after that strong ass drink Sunghoon gave me. Why on earth wouldn’t I want to dance?

Kesha is blaring through the speakers, and I yell to Sunoo who has started to drag me out to the middle of the dancefloor, “This is my shit!!”

Was it? Who cares, I felt free, and you bet your ass I was about to jump around to “blow” by Kesha.

Before I can think deeply of it, I look back to Sunghoon. He is leaning against the wall, watching. His glass is empty now, that same light grin on his lips. His lips. They look so good. Should I tell him? I definitely drank too much of my Vodka cranberry in an effort to do something with myself while just standing there next to Sunghoon. It was the party equivalent to twiddling my thumbs.

Before I could finish that thought about whether or not I should tell Sunghoon just how good he looks (which I definitely should not), Sunoo and I are jumping around on the dance floor. I don’t know what comes over me, and yet I am moving my body in ways I never have before.

I feel Sunoo’s body tight next to mine, jumping and shaking and laughing. I haven’t had this much fun…ever.

We are holding hands, singing in each other's faces, and thoroughly getting into it. When I can feel my hair sticking to my face from sweat, I know it's time I find some water.

I mouth “water!” to Sunoo, who nods in agreement and takes my hand. We walk back to the bar, laughing and singing the current song. The guy behind the bar, (was he this handsome before, or did he get handsome-er?) shakes his head, clearly this not being the first time he’s seen Sunoo like this.

“Water please, Jay!!” Sunoo yells. Jay. So that’s his name. “Make it ICY!”

Jay hands us our waters, this time in red cups, and adds “ICE water, your majesty” and adds in a little bow, clearly joking. So he’s funny. I like him.

Right now, I like everything. Why don’t I drink more often?

Sunoo leads me to a quiet corner. I think it's a separate room, or maybe a hallway. I don’t know. Things are fuzzy.

I sink to the floor, to which Sunoo follows suit.

“Your house…is massive.” I say. No shit.

He laughs. “Yeah. Too big for its own good.”

I just smile. “I'm jealous” I say, getting far too close to his face.

He looks at me, more serious this time. “Where are you living, anyway?”

“Hmm…like 15 minutes from here? Close to campus. It’s a tiny apartment. Not for long, though”

“You’re moving?” I think I see a look of concern on his face, but it’s gone faster than it came.

“Maybe? I might be forced to. I got another letter today telling me to pay my rent, in Big. Bold. Letters.” Why am I saying all this? Why can’t I stop? Oh god, I am going to say more. “The problem is…I don’t have the money” I’m slurring some of my words.

“You can’t pay your rent?” Now he definitely sounds concerned.

Oh no, I can’t have him feeling bad for me. Not when we just met and now I am trauma dumping on him.

“Well, no, not technically. I just need to get some roommates? The problem is… I can’t find…any…they are all so dirty and so much drama. I can’t do it. I would rather move back home.”

“Where is home?” He asks, so gently.

“About…6 hours away? Give or take?” I don’t know how I would be able to stay in school if I had to move back home. My dream has always been to come to college, and I can feel it slipping away. My eyes start to pool.

I cannot cry to Sunoo right now. Before I can get up and pretend this conversation ever happened, he says, “We have lots of extra rooms.”

I’m confused. Is he just saying that to flaunt how big their house is? He doesn’t seem like the type, but I don’t know him, not really. I don’t say anything.

“I could talk to the boys.” He says, as if this clarifies anything.

Because I am drunk, and filter be damned, I reply, “I’m sorry…what? What are you saying?”

He chuckles. “You could stay in one of our rooms. We have plenty, many more than we could ever need. I’ll talk to the boys.”

This is insane. “No…no, I could never ask you to do that. I hope you don’t think I- I didn’t say all that just for you to offer…i’m fine.” my response comes out choppy and I am moving my hands around far too much, but I can’t help it. I could never accept something like this. Especially not from him, who I literally just met.

“Shhhh. I’m not saying they will say yes. I’m just saying I'll ask them. Okay?”

And because I literally cannot say no to this man (seriously is he magic or something?) I just nod slowly, and then weakly say “okay.”

He smiles, satisfied, and stands up. Clearly he has not drunk as much as me, or just has a higher tolerance. I, however, get up slowly using the wall the whole way up to stabilize. My head is spinning. It’s about time I call it a night. I follow Sunoo back into the party chaos.

“I think…I need to go home.” I tell him.

“Okay, did you drive here? You definitely cannot drive home.” Shit. I forgot.

“Um…yeah I did. Maybe I could Uber?” I should never have drank. I’m supposed to be saving money, not spending it on an Uber ride home from a party. I needed to loosen up, though, and I somehow can’t feel bad for all the fun I had tonight.

“Wait here…I’ll be right back.” He says and disappears into the crowd. How does he move so quickly? I swear he just disappeared in front of my eyes. Wow, I’m a lightweight. Noted.

I lean up against the wall, just watching the crowd. I have no idea where Sunoo went off to, but I don’t have it in me to think deeply about it. I lightly shut my eyes when I feel the presence of someone right in front of me. Sunoo’s back, and he brought someone.

“You know Jake, right?” He asks me. This wakes me right up, and I straighten up and clear my throat. I think I even attempt to fix my hair.

“Um…yeah. I think…I’ve met him before…” Or literally yesterday. Or took a class with him last semester. Or have seen him around and watched him from afar a few too many times. None of these things I say.

“Hi,” he says, doing a little wave. Wow, he's cute.

“Hi” I say, and smile lightly.

“Jake is going to drive you home. Okay? He hasn’t drank tonight. I was going to ask Hoon but he’s already four drinks deep.” Is Sunoo my guardian angel or something? He’s being so kind, and I don’t know why. I appreciate it, but it's unexpected with the cold exterior all of the statue boys have. It’s a nice surprise.

“Oh…that’s okay! I can just order an Uber or something! Really, don’t worry about it.” I reply.

“I don’t mind.” Jake replies. He doesn’t sound annoyed, which is good. I don’t have the energy to argue any more about it, so I reply,

“Thank you, really. I’ll repay you somehow” I’m not sure how, but surely there’s something I can do for him.

He just grins and turns, expecting me to follow, which I do. We weave through bodies to go into another unknown hallway. The sounds of the party are distant now, but we still don’t say anything. He opens a door, leading to a garage. We are met with a long row of cars, all of which look brand new and expensive. Jake walks over to a small black Porsche and opens the passenger side door, gesturing for me to get in, which I do.

“Thanks.” I say. The car smells amazing. I can’t quite place it but it's my kryptonite…clean. It sounds weird, but something being clean is quite possibly the best thing ever to me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. Jake gets into the driver's seat. I try not to stare but…he’s wearing a black t-shirt, and it fits in all the right places. He isn’t exactly bulky, but it's clear he is strong. Veins gently protrude from his arm, running down to his hands. Okay, I’m definitely staring. The man is beautiful, with skin that looks like glass. How is that even possible?

I look up to his face, where he is staring at me. He noticed me checking him out. Yikes, I will lie awake thinking about that fact later. He doesn’t look disgusted, though. He actually looks almost…amused? I’m reminded by the fact that he is ogled by every other girl at the University. This is not a rare occurrence for him, and he probably expects no less.

I look away, suddenly finding my hands very interesting. He turns on the car, and looks behind him as he backs the car out of the garage. Thank god for the radio, which breaks the silence. As we settle into the drive, I try to focus on the music rather than the very beautiful and large man next to me.

He clears his throat. “Uh, what’s your address?” he asks. Oh right, of course he wouldn’t just know where I live. I tell him, and he nods his head like he knows where he’s going. He doesn’t plug it into maps. Confident.

“Are you taking any other literature courses this semester?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“What?” Oh my god, does he not remember that we took a class together?

It’s okay, it’s fine. Let’s be confident. No going back, now. “We took the same Romanticism Literature class last semester. You might not have seen me… I only talked a few times…” Or every class. I was one of those people who would raise my hand when no one else would, which just happened to be just about every class. Other than when Jake chimed in.

“Oh yeah, I remember you. No actually, I’m not taking any literature courses. I wanted to, it just didn’t really fit with my schedule.”

“I hate when that happens” I reply.

“What about you?” He asks

“Oh, yeah I am taking a few. I am an English Lit major so it’s kind of required”

He chuckles lightly at this, which makes me feel like I won the lottery. I steal a look over to him to see if I can catch a glimpse of his smile. It’s gone before I could, back to the ever-stoic Jake.

We fall into another silence, though this time much more comfortable. Before I know it, we pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex. It just now occurs to me that we simply left my car back at their house.

“Thank you so much, really. I appreciate it a lot. I don’t drink much, so I guess I didn’t realize I’m that much of a lightweight.”

He shakes his head, “no problem, glad you got home safe.”

“Should I…come pick up my car tomorrow?” This is awkward.

“Will you be on campus tomorrow?” he asks.

“Yeah, I was planning on being in the library for a while, why?”

“I can just meet you on campus and drive you back to my place. From there you can take your car.” Wow, how are they all so generous?

“That’s perfect. Thank you so much, I’m sorry to put so much trouble on you”

He looks right into my eyes, and I would lie if I pretended my heart didn’t squeeze at his brown eyes. “It's no trouble. I'll find you tomorrow.”

“Great.” I reply. I unbuckle and start to get out of the car, but he grabs my wrist. I turn to face him again, but he says first;

“Drink some water, and take some medicine. You’ll thank me tomorrow.” His eyes are so kind, I could look into them forever. I almost just do, but then I remember this is reality and not my dream world. So I just smile, tight-lipped, and get out of the car.

The cool air is a nice change, as I notice how warm my cheeks got in Jake’s presence. It might be the alcohol, right?

#enhypen #sim jaeyun #ao3 fanfic #college au #kim sunoo #lee heeseung #nishimura riki #park jeongseong #park sunghoon #vampire au #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #enha fluff

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remyfire · 2 months

Note

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

#sorry for neglecting your ask for a day anon i was having a rough one #i'm still a little disjointed so i apologize if this isn't thoughtful or coherent but i don't want to forget your ask and never get back #my ramblings

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realm-of-rosie · 1 year

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💭 i love you from the bottom of my hypothalamus !!

i. genshin impact [ thoma and one aspect of pseudopsychology - tarot readings ]

ii. blog rules | masterlist

iii. *turns being a psych student into my entire personality*

"you know, yoimiya, in the professional world, people would call that pseudopsychology,"

''well then, it's a good thing we aren't in the 'professional world' then,''

i sigh softly before turning to face her, '' regardless of whether or not we're in the professional world, i don't believe in things like that anyway! tarot readings are fun, i'll admit, but that's all it'll be to me, some good fun, not so much as something concrete to believe in."

''hey, don't pretend it didn't make you feel even slightly hopeful, '' the blonde shakes her finger at me, '' that reading was scarily accurate, and you know that just as well as i,''

''accuracy doesn't mean anything! people who do readings sometimes make things up to fit whatever you want to hear,''

yoimiya lets out the most offended gasp accompanied by a hand over her heart, ''mona would never!''

''uh huh,'' i hum monotonously in sarcastic agreement before rapping my knuckles against the doors of our next class hoping that that was the end of the conversation.

''isn't it fun to think that maybe they like you back?''

''yoimiya -'' my head turns to face her.

''who likes who back?''

then i freeze, just about ready to smack the stupid smile off of yoimiya's face.

''someone and no one,'' i face and smile sweetly at the man who opened the door and now stood watching us.

''ooh, do you have a crush on someone? '' thoma asks teasingly, '' name drop?''

''at this point in my life, i am incapable of feeling anything, so to answer your question, no i do not have a crush on someone,''

my eyes drop to stare at the ground and his stupidly shiny black shoes before i brush past him with yoimiya following closely behind and plopping down onto my seat with a deep sigh.

''don't take what mona said to heart - '' thoma sits in the seat in front of me and twists his body to meet my eyes, '' - really, it's -''

''i know that,'' i frown, ''yoimiya is the one that doesn't want to drop it,''

''well, what if?" yoimiya plops next to thoma, attempting to casually tilt her head in his direction and clearing her throat and looking away when he looks at her questioningly.

"what if we studied for our quiz?" you lift the syllabus from your bag and yoimiya lets out an exaggerated gasp before darting towards her own bag.

"you know," thoma starts quietly, "it's not a crime to think or want for the person you like to like you back, i mean, i do,"

you meet his gaze, cogs turning in your head and you wonder if you're meant to take anything he says to heart. whether there's something between the lines to read or if you're simply overanalyzing it for what it actually is.

"i know that," you say just as quietly, a small smile playing on your lips, "i mean, emotions and feelings are meant to be felt and experienced, i just don't know if these ones are worth investing in,"

"well, you'll never know unless you ask or do something about them," he shrugs, "tell me, what do you have to lose if you tell that someone how you feel?"

quite a few things actually, you think to yourself, things i value very much.

"think about it," thoma leans back and slowly faces forward, "but at the end of the day, they're your feelings and you get to decide what to do with them and how valuable they are to you,"

"...thanks thoma,"

"hey, do yo remember what our prof said about..." yoimiya's questions filter in and out of your ears, and you answer them mindlessly, thoughts filled more about what thoma said than the parts of the brain and what they function as. your blonde best friend's squeak of surprise when your professor entered pulled you back into reality and without thinking - or rather with the minimal amount of thinking you could have made before making your decision - you tap thoma on the shoulder, and he turns towards you with curious eyes.

"i thought about what you said,"

"that quickly?" he asks teasingly.

"yeah," you begin to smile widely, "and i think i like you, from the bottom of my hypothalamus,"

you're pretty sure yoimiya's mouth has dropped to floor and her eyes are probably as wide as basketballs, but all that mattered to you was the relief that passed through thoma's face, and the look in his eyes that reassured you that he felt the exact same way.

"me too," he grins, and you think that hey, maybe pseudopsych has a little credibility to it.

just a little.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #thoma fluff #thoma x reader #tohma fluff #tohma x reader

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dreamii-yume · 6 months

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Hello yume, I was quite shocked to see an update (cuz I know update quite slow, which is relatable and understandable lol) ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

Well, the chapter mostly contains of informations and the aftermath of u know what ◉⁠‿⁠◉

FIRST the teacher was kinda SUS, like low-key (high-key) O⁠_⁠o cuz like wdym

“…Because they would completely stop working after I would hit them a little.”

SO SUSSSSSS, Im starting to think he wasn't talking about computers and machines, cuz like why would you hit a computer?? (if you know what I'm saying) he's lying, I just know it (⁠*⁠_⁠*⁠)

“Honestly…They make technologies a lot more fragile these days.”

ANOTHER SUS LINE !!! (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠! What do you mean by that, mister? HMMMM?? Are you sure you're talking about technologies and NOT a person?? ヽ⁠(⁠(⁠◎⁠д⁠◎⁠)⁠)⁠ゝI really feel like the teacher would be terrifying when we get to his part because of all these lines he be spouting (or maybe not, and I'm just overthinking stuff lmao)

And neru???!? He be casually interrogating rei about kaeda then BOOM confessed through Morse code and then stole a kiss (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠; (he did a peck tho, kinda wholesome tbh...) BUT I'm sure confessing through Morse code prob means something LIKE I KNOW THEY'D USE IT IN THE FUTURE... MAYBE (I THINK IM OVERANALYZING THINGS HELP)

So far I'm the most Sus about the teacher, maybe even rin but he pretty much disappear in the beginning (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠), Riya... I dunno how to feel about him, he's still the most normal (which makes me think he's even Sus because he hasn't shown anything yet so far... I'm keeping a close eye on him, because the timid ones are the more likely to attack silently ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಠ I don't trust you Riya)

Kaede seems to be in the clear but I don't trust any of them ಠ⁠ ⁠ل͟⁠ ⁠ಠ

-euphoria anon (ok I accept it)

I try to update the fic at least once a week if that helps (Every tuesday??) 🥹 BUT DAMN DARLING, LET THEM GET UP LMAO ☠️ Your suspicions are valid, but let our boys cook ☠️

I will try not to comment on some things you said even though I’m so giddy and want to fangirl about it so badly 😭 but I need to remember that I’m actually the one writing this, so any complaints I have is on ME ☠️🔫 I’m not good at writing foreshadows and attempting to fool my readers is wayy out of my league, so I try to at least be subtle about the information I lay out lmao

Honestly, if you played the game, you’ll know EXACTLY where this is going—Because I am, once again, borrowing the plot of the game lol The least I could is shut my big mouth up ☠️

Also, I love the fact that you’re even sussing out RIYA because he’s supposed to be the most “normal” character out of everyone 🧎‍♀️ Boi hasn’t even done anything lmaoo Anyway, thanks for reading as always ♥︎

#talk with yume #euphoria

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woennix · 7 months

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Just a little qsmp discourse post, I've been thinking about it for a while and I just wanna share something.

I agree that everyone should have their own interpretations of characters and you don't need to keep up with EVERY pov to say what you think about a character, but I do think that people should be a lot more kinder with the interpretations they have of characters in general.

This comes mainly from seeing people talking badly about characters (the latest one qWilbur, but I've seen it time and time again, with characters I enjoy and characters I don't). This always ends up with people having more context for a character's actions than others, and others making a big judgement without seeing the whole picture, or people who actually try to listen and understand a character's motives but are still upset about it.

I do think disagreeing or even disliking characters is fair, I mean, I do dislike some characters, but ALL of them have motives and explanations for why they do what they do, and also ALL of them have done questionable things to eachother.

The thing is, if I try to, I can create a horrible narrative for EVERY character (I'm not joking, I'm pretty sure I can) where they are manipulative, self-centered, selfish, hypocritical... but telling everyone: ''This character is SO evil because of this specific one thing he did one time to my favourite character!!!'' when that was a cc having fun, or maybe a slip up etc, kinda kills the fun for the ccs. Something I feel some people not take into account is that this is minecraft improvised roleplay, where at the same time creators are meeting eachother and just playing and having fun.

Yes, lighthearted moments where people are joking around kind of are lore, but sometimes, ccs just wanna have fun. This happens a lot with qRoier, where obviously his joking attitude is integrated into the lore and his character is actually joking about a lot of stuff, but like, for example, him enjoying mines is like 90% the cc wanting to have fun, not his characters actually not giving a fuck about killing the eggs (just an example of some takes I've seen). Even though if we think about what he is doing realistically, it wouldn't be an absurd assumption to make that he doesn't care. Now, I think it should be interpreted as what it is,,, Roier enjoying and having fun in the server. What I mean to say is, is this lore? Yes it is, qRoier canonically enjoys mines. But also, are we going to overanalyze this and make assumptions on his character and actually apply real-life logic into how we interpret every interactions he has? I would say that's too much, and makes the server an only roleplaying server where creators can't just fuck around and have fun.

I will say to be clear, if someone wished to bring things into their interpretation of the character that are little details like these and make it a headcanon for themselves, thats completely fair! But that's not actually canon unless the ccs decides to make it canon, and it is important to make that distinction in my opinion.

Btw I chose the qRoier example beacuse I think it wasn't a very big deal (at least in my tl) but I do not mean to create or re-open a whole debate about his morality then if it was big, I am just using him as an example. And also I say this because multiple ccs have complained on some way or another about feeling a bit overwhelmed/upset with this kind of thing. Cellbit and Baghera complained about people misinterpreting their characters and projecting into canon things they didn't mean to do, and Roier has complained (albeit a bit jokingly) that things are too heavy and people are too intense with the lore.

Honestly if this didn't bother the ccs I would tell most people that even though I dislike what I see as mischaracterizations, you can go crazy lmao, but if it makes them not be able to enjoy roleplaying as much and being in general on the server, then yknow... It could be cool if we could find a way to criticize or say what we think about characters in a more contructive way that adjusts to the ccs' vision.

#qsmp discourse #discourse #i don't wanna tag too much bc i dont want this to appear in people's searches if they dislike discourse #also i am aware this is just my opinion #i am not trying to tell people what to do i just think this would avoid a lot of annnoying dicourse where people overly critisize character #btw all I do is headcanon shit all the time so when I mean I think its ok I mean it's the best part ab all of this #woe's ranting #woe's venting

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wordsbymmn · 9 months

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okay you made that completely uncomfortable

I hate getting red and hot with embarrassment

I wasn’t even looking at your ass sexually

I was just noticing that there was a difference

You told me that you appreciated it but stop and to not look at your ass how contradicting is that

You made me feel like shit

Now I don’t even want to look at you because I don’t want you feeling weird for whatever reason you feel that I am looking at you a certain way

It was a compliment on everything we’ve been working on

Even your sister has said things like that I thought that’s what you wanted from me but now that makes you uncomfortable like it was the most innocent interaction and thought I had in a while and it just all went to shits.

why do I question it further.

there it was again you said you see me as your little sister.

which drives me insane.

because there are these moments that not even only I see.

other’s see sexual touches you do towards me or that maybe I do have a chance who knows but now it’s clear and still not clear.

like do you change how you feel at times and see me differently.

you’re a smart woman you know what I might be thinking or feeling sometimes so why do you often do things that may confuse me sometimes.

like right now you were falling asleep and I asked you “you want to go to sleep” to which you responded yes. I said are you gonna go take me out and you said “is that necessary“ so I was like “do I just lock the bottom only then” and you go on to say “why don’t you just stay so I don’t feel bad about not taking you out”. but why omg why and how are you gonna say that and still get up to get the bed ready for sleeping it involved standing and then you even had to pee so you went out technically halfway. ugh, I’m probably overanalyzing all this but it’s what I do, and like do you see it, how does it all make sense.

like i can tell you like my company sometimes so why is it so wrong for me to have whatever type of crush on you knowing it won’t ever go anywhere.

why can’t I joke flirt or like the way something looks on you or how good you look.

fuck I hate you and I like you it’s so irritating and I do it to my fucking self.

~MMN

August 20, 2023. 1:33 AM.

#wlw #photography #words #bisexual

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harapeveco · 1 year

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ill be honest ( and this is a very very horrible take probably ) but i have come to kinda hate the int novels,,, like why do i need to do so much preliminary reading just to understand stuff about anything anymore ?? plus i kinda liked it when tobi didnt really have a clear backstory if that makes sense ?? to me it was more fun to read knk and just pick up all of the little tobi backstory crumbs whenever they showed up and just overanalyze the crap out of them,, so for those reasons i now refuse to read any of the int novels just out of spite,,, am i normal for thinking this or am i absolutely out of my mind, please help me

Hey bestie there’s no need to feel bad about not liking the novels y’know? I understand where you coming from it’s kinda annoying to have to really get immerse into something and read a whole lot sometimes, it’s like going to a wiki page to get context in stuff and I understand how it’s more fun to just put the pieces together to discover who Tobi really is with the little information the manga and MVs give us, like all the things and headcanons we can come up with are basically being destroyed by the fact Tobi now has a backstory and I can see why that’s not appealing at all.

I don’t think it’s a bad take but more like personal preference, you don’t have to like them just like you don’t have to like every piece of media/song Eve releases if only people knew how many Eve songs I don’t like I would be hunted like a witch.

Idk if this works as a recommendation but I think the best you can do is think of novel Tobi and manga Tobi as two different people in two different time lines, Eve said it himself, the manga is one thing and the novels are something else so it wouldn’t be weird or out of place to think of them as two separate stories and not of it as a prequel to the manga. I think is more fun that way, if we think about time lines where things just happen differently, you can play more around that idea me thinks.

I feel you are ok the way you are anon like I said, you don’t have to like or engage with every piece of media Eve throws at us. The novels are meant to be enjoyed and if you don’t enjoy them then you don’t have to read them as simple as that. It’ll be kinda annoying talking with people about this sort of thing tho bc mostly will take these novels as canon and they will most likely throw it to your face and be like “it’s canon it was in the novels” but my advice is to just ignore that. If to you Tobi has no past revealed yet then he doesn’t! He’s your blorbo you can do whatever you want with him!

Also, the little we’ve seen from Tobi’s past in the manga kinda deviates from the novels so…who knows? Unless there’s something that really ties the novels and manga together it’s better if we see both as self contained stories.

Sorry I’m rambling idk if this is what you wanted to hear (or well read) but it’s like my take on it

#answered ask #all takes are valid as long as you don’t hurt someone with them

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billerak · 1 year

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Chapter 24 mesh (part 1)

There's too much gay at the end so no way a single post is gonna do it.

Ok so the whole setup for Minori's confession happens and she does it, and yeah, it's what you'd expect.

But... Is it really what you'd expect?

Think about it. Wouldn't it make more sense for her to confess to Taiga here? Maybe. Maybe coming out of the closet is not in the table right now. She probably doesn't even know she's in there.

Regardless, she says she's in love with Ryuji. She says she's been in love with him from the start which is... Probably bullshit? Like, she definitely started seeing him better in episode 9/10, but prior to that she had not much of a reason to like him as far as we understand.

I fucking hate(love) this because it perfectly encapsulates how much of a hypocrite she still is.

WHY ARE YOU STILL GIVING RYUJI TO TAIGA, THEN. WHY NOT MAKE YOUR MOVE. The reason is clear, though. She alreayd knows Ryuji likes Taiga so there's little point in complicating matters further.

But I think it just goes to show her resolve is nowhere near as strong as she makes it out to be. She's, once again, wearing a mask for Taiga's sake.

And she says this to Ryuji. Basically being like "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and like, she's not exactly wrong, but it's this very thinking that later leads to her meltdown.

So she just makes sure, one last time, putting all cards on the table. And she tells Ryuji to go after what he can see. Love. Something only he can see, right now. Something Minori can't, so she doesn't want to focus on it...

But that's fucking bullshit.

She doesn't want to give up romance or stop chasing after it. Look at her, taking this secondary prize in this hellhole of a relationship. I've said this before, but Minori is the only character that doesn't really get closure. I'll prove it later anyways but jesus, poor girl.

What follows is some Taiga/Ryuji things with their mothers but, in all honesty, there's not really much for me to unpack there. Like... what's happening is pretty straightforward and I have nothing to say about it.

And then, we have Ami having a similar exchange.

But whereas Minori was just making sure, Ami doesn't need to make sure of anything. Yet, here she is, insisting.

Why? Well, because she values honesty. The most consisten character trait for Ami, through all the show, is her need for others to be honest with her. She hates it when they lie, when she asks simple questions and they avoid them.

Here, as it's all coming to a close, she wants that confirmation. She wants, for once, for Ryuji to be honest with her.

Just once.

And maybe, then, that'll give her closure too.

So he relents.

And finally, she's satisfied.

Then Minori, bi disaster that she is, GOES COMPLETELY AGAINST HER WORD AND GIVES UP ON HER FUCKING LIFE SAVINGS FOR HER TWO CRUSHES.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Of course, this just goes to show she was bullshitting earlier. Putting on an act for her crushes to stop worrying about her. And the worst part is that she fucking succeeds, for once.

So Ami's like "Alright here let me give you my beach house." Her sacrifice is lesser than that of Minori, but... I wonder if she's doing it because she doesn't want them to waste Minori's savings in hotels.

Of course it coudl just be because she's being nice. Which she is. I'm overanalyzing and using my shipping brain here. Which I don't need because some gay shit is about to follow.