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phdmama · 1 year

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What are your overall thoughts on Buddie going canon? I went back and rewatched the kitchen scene and from what I know happens in future seasons, I kinda feel like there’s no way they can explain their relationship as purely platonic. They’re giving stucky “inseparable on and off the battlefield” and “til the end of the line” vibes.

As someone who was deep in both the sterek and stucky fandoms, I have way more hope for these two than I did the others. My partner watches more casually than I do (I give updates if I’ve watched during work, or while he’s out etc etc) and he’s even wondering.

This show proves that it’s more open with queer side characters and Hen, etc. so idk. Maybe I’m getting too excited bc I’m not even caught up, but I have hope!!

I mean, first and foremost, I'm very much of the "everyone should think whatever brings you joy etc etc" opinionI and I'm also like, old, which I think gives me a different perspective maybe, having seen the whole evolution of how queer people are included (or not) in mainstream media (like I was watching when Ellen came out sort of old).

One of the things I really love about 911 is that there are a lot of different kinds of people and really diverse stories and I love that! I also think they're doing really interesting stuff with gender expression and masculinity and love in its many different forms, which again. I just love.

As for it going canon... I know there are people who are absolutely sure it's going to happen, and mine is, I am pretty sure, an UO, but I am not convinced. In part, I don't want to dive into really expecting it as a canon thing because I don't love to invest a huge amount of emotional energy in something over which I have zero control! Like, it's going to be what it's going to be, and I'm really enjoying the ride as it all unfolds!! This is like, entirely unlike me?? I don't generally enjoy sitting in the unknown. I think I'm just wary about getting my hopes up.

Like I absolutely see those signs - and I do think it's possible! Their chemistry is so real, and their connection and relationship so palpable. There's stuff that I think is fan service but there's a lot of other big stuff that I really think is genuinely moving in this direction. Will it happen? I dunno!

Selfishly, I'd absolutely love to see a story of two men in their 30s figuring out their own bisexuality. That to me would be a fascinating, powerful, and original story. We already have had the exact storyline of a man coming out as gay while married, and I'm not personally all that interested in revisiting that particular narrative again, if that makes sense!

So all that to say, I think there's a very strong case to be made for the writers moving in the canon direction, but I don't personally have my hopes that high, just given that it's a mass media corporate entertainment production. Clearly, they're very cool with queer characters, and it would be an amazing and original story but... you know.

For now, I'm very content to watch it all unfold, and enjoy the canon that is being created right in front of me!

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birgosaurus · 1 year

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real arcane moments (canon /s), the master list ((AKA i was playing THE SIMS 4 to make some of the arcane cast and..))

[also disclaimer this is mainly jayce and viktor lmao]

jayce thinks he and vi are besties for some reason?? i just wanted to introduce jinx, vi and cait to viktor and jayce (bc they’re two seperate households) and like… upon jayce and vi first meeting, they had 2 similar interests and he was instantly like, “omg…. you!! YOU!! /p”

they talk and it’s vi: .. fitness jayce: YEAHHHH FITNESS *stops conversation to do push ups*

my man wakes up, like, 12pm, which is about the time vi starts working. so he’ll wake up to call her, WHILE she’s at work, to say shit like, “heyyyy this person asked me out 🥺🥺🥺🥺 should i say yes” “idk man IM AT WORK AND I DONT CARE”

also idk why but jinx is nocturnal i literally didn’t even do this myself .she just goes to bed at 5am every morning, EXACTLY when caitlyn wakes up. jinx sleeps in until, like, 3pm. they both have completely different sleep cycles despite living in the same house. I TRY TO GIVE JINX A NORMAL SLEEP SCHEDULE AND IT DOESN’T WORK. SHE’LL ALWAYS WAKE UP AT 3-5AM TO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE FOR A MIDNIGHT SNACK. /lh i was meant to make u two enemies. i was meant to make u hate each other behind vi’s back. why is this happening.

meanwhile viktor and jayce wake up at the same time. go to bed at the exact same time. they’re scarily in sync. are really close. but keep tormenting each other through pranks. jayce will point one way, viktor looks behind him. “BOO.” viktor jumps. they both laugh. THIS SHIT HAPPENS CONSTANTLY. VICE VERSA. and the amount of random arguments they have without my input?????. are y’all ok?.?????

they once got into an argument and jayce kicked over the bin outside. he walks back in. viktor is still on the couch. jayce sits next to him. but there’s music playing. so of course, jayce started angrily head bopping. because it’s important u always dance to music no matter what mood ur in. viktor jus groovin, too, while ignoring him. jayce eventually calms down. happy head bopping :). viktor then tells him off for kicking over the bin. fucking ANGRY. HE STORMS OUTSIDE. AGAIN. KICKS OVER THE BIN. AAGGAAIIN.

also idk i find it funny jayce plays christmas music and vibes while viktor is like “for the love of god shut that shit off right now.” i might’ve purposely made jayce like christmas music. i might’ve purposely made viktor hate it. what of it?

i always have to force viktor to socialise , too. he refuses to talk to anyone on his own BUT jayce. his literal roommate. who talked to him mainly with my input. most of the time jayce will invite people over and viktor avoids them as much as possible. once he walked out of his room, saw cait and vi at the dining table with jayce, stopped, and then decided reading a book in his room would probably be a better use of his time.

genuinely got so confused when i tried to introduce the girls to the hexbros tho bc i got cait to interact with viktor but for some reason, when checking through her acquaintances list later, viktor wasn’t there? but jayce WAS… and they’d only briefly been introduced. DID VIKTOR JUST WAVE HER OFF OR SMTH LMAO???? WHAT HAPPENED I DIDNT SEE

the first time vi and cait properly interacted was when vi went to cook (which she does a surprising amount for someone i wouldn’t expect to cook???) and she LIT HERSELF. ON FIRE. and cait LITERALLY HAD TO PUT HER OUT. can’t believe the “how i met my girlfriend” story is “yeah she lit herself ON FIRE <3 everyone was rlly stressed heehee but i’m just such a quick thinker <3” wow i love gay people

anyway <3 they’re all havign a greit time <3 very normal <3

#arcane #jayce talis #jayce arcane #jinx arcane #caitlyn arcane #vi arcane #viktor arcane #caitvi #jayvik #vikjayce #that thing u do where u make ur lil guys in the sims bc u wanna see them interact #ignore possible typos it’s very late #birg.txt #birg.shitpost

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ifmywishescametrue · 1 year

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I know I’m late but can I ask for 5 for Just For Now, dust off your highest hopes, and you can call me babe for the weekend, and also 23 from the writing asks? You’re one of my favourite Stevetony fic writers ❤️❤️❤️

thank you so much! you're never too late for an ask game ☺️

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

i... can't think of a single possible question lol. let's just go with some behind the scenes fun facts? my favorite things about them? idk here's a mix of both and i'm sorry they ended up so long winded haha

Just For Now – this one is easily the most on the fly, no plans fic i've ever written. it was written pretty quickly in 2020, when i had just graduated college but was still unemployed because of things with the pandemic, so i had a lot of time to basically write a chapter a day. i posted as i went and almost never had a plan for where the next chapter was coming from before the current one was finished. there was only one later chapter i knew would exist from the beginning, which was them getting together at the sam and nat's wedding. everything else, even character background details, came at the exact moment they were written with pretty much zero forethought. all in all i'm pretty proud of how well it turned out without any real planning, but also i would never do that again lol

dust off your highest hopes – my absolute favorite moment in this one is the scene with them discussing the hyacinth tattoo steve almost got and the one tony has. i had the dialogue written fairly early on for tony asking steve to tell him something about himself that tony doesn't know yet, and i knew i wanted steve to tell him about a tattoo he almost got, but didn't. the only problem i had was that i had no clue at all what it would be, or why he wouldn't do it in the end.

sometimes i view scenes in terms of vibes and colors rather than plot, if that makes sense? so, this scene needed to feel like it was midnight blue with soft, hazy stars. that lead me to thinking that steve's almost tattoo should come from mythology, so i ended up googling something like 'gay love stories in greek mythology' just to see if one would fit. the very first one i read was the story of Apollo and Hyacinthus, and it just felt so right for steve to be sort of enthralled by that story, but also have a longing to experience something like it for himself first before getting a tattoo to represent it. personally, i've always been so intrigued by flower language, so i googled what hyacinths represent and that also felt very right for tony, given all the backstory i'd already established for him.

just generally, i love moments in writing where it feels like i've somehow stumbled upon the exact right thing to fit in the moment. there was no plan initially for tony to have any tattoos, let alone one that fit with steve's almost tattoo, but i love that it worked out that way. this particular moment felt almost fated to exist.

you can call me babe for the weekend – speaking of viewing scenes in terms of colors, this entire fic is maroon to me. i can't explain why, but that's what my mind sees.

now an actual fun fact! i think i've said this somewhere before, but i started writing this fic the same night evermore was released and started picturing it after my very first listen to tis the damn season. everything about that song screamed steve and tony to me. the longing, the idea of leaving someone you love to pursue a dream that you also love, the self-sacrificial nature of it. that was all just so tony. he would want to leave his small town, he wouldn't ask steve to come with him when he knew steve wouldn't be happy there, but he'd also never be able to move on and let him go in his own heart.

i've always just generally loved the concept of two people being so meant for each other that there's literally no one else they could fit quite right with. they always find their way back to each other, because they have to. tis the damn season came out and was basically like here's the blueprint, go write it. so i did

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

soulmate au! i love reading them, but i haven't had a solid enough idea to write it myself just yet. i do, however, know the exact song lyric i'd use to title it lol

#answered asks #thanks for sending these!#i did not know i had so much to say about these fics before i started answering this but apparently i do lol

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dontbipanicjonsa · 3 years

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Did Kit suddenly lose his ability to heart-eye or is Pol!Jon actually a thing.

I'm late to the fandom but I just finished S7 and I'm having thoughts.

I'm a reader of the books, and I hadn't watched the show till now because... I suck at watching shows with hour long episodes and more than three seasons.

What made me decide to watch it was the Pol!Jon discourse I found on the Internet.

I know enough about the show to understand how unlikely and out of character this theory would seem to show watchers. At the same time, I fully believe that book!Jon would be fully capable of something like this. But also, even though I do ship Jonsa in the books, I can't deny that Jonerys is.....a big deal. Everyone expects it to happen. It's a highly anticipated pairing and....I just couldn't honestly believe Pol!Jon because it is just so against the general expectation.

So I decided to watch the show. And now I've finished season 7 and I am astounded.

Let me preface this by saying that I went into S7 already disliking Jonerys (sue me) but I still fully expected to have some serious doubts about the validity of Jonsa. I fully expected to be at least somewhat convinced of Jonerys. Even hating the idea of Jon and Danaerys together, I still expected more.

There are a number of things I would like to note here.

First, Jonerys is a romance that is told, not shown. Davos talks about Jon watching Dany's "good heart" (hehe) to tell us Jon is attracted to Dany. But then Jon immediately dismisses it- and not in a way that looks like he's deflecting. He's not only dismissing it, he's dismissive of it. His mind is not in the conversation, it is beyond the Wall.

Similarly, Tyrion says (not in those words), "yeah right, and Jon only looks at you longingly coz he wants a military alliance with you". Not sure what I'm supposed to think about that....? First, Jon doesn't look at Dany longingly at all???? Not once. Second, is this line supposed to suggest that Jon is looking at her longingly for a reason that is not desperately wanting a military alliance....? Because we already know that that's exactly what he does want. Wtf do I make of this statement?????

There are other examples, but the point remains. People keep talking about Jon and Dany being into each other, and that is what is supposed to convince us that they are into each other (well yea Dany is) but Jon gives no indication of looking at her longingly, of falling in love with her, of being intrigued by her even. He's a brick wall.

Alright, I'll concede one (1) scene where I saw legitimate attraction on his face for a second- that is the cave scene. Even there tho, it's hard to tell if he's just watching her reaction carefully or if he wants to bang her.

On the other hand, Dany shows that she is into him. Even so, when I say she's into him, I mean she's attracted to him and intrigued by him. I cannot believe she loves him.

Next, I think it's interesting that in the episode before (or was it the same episode?) Jon bends the knee, we have a number of people (Tormund, Beric) talk about stuff like- kings not bending the knee leading to people dying, knowing what's important (the fight against the dead), being the shield that guards the realm of men blah blah I don't remember the exact words. Then he sees the WW and the Army of the Dead (again) and sees a dragon die. And then, the first opportunity he gets, he bends the knee. I want to point out here that the scenes really emphasise on Jon's thinking face after every conversation he has during their little gay party beyond the Wall. They focus on the look on his face again while he's watching the Army. Multiple times. And there's clearly something going on in his head, gears are turning.

One other scene that struck me is the scene where Jon and Dany are saying goodbye to each other (the Eastwatch episode). In the same episode (if I remember correctly) Jon calls them strangers, and then the goodbye scene comes and Dany says to Jon's little morbid joke, "I've grown used to him". Him being Jon. Two things to note here-

One, Jon considers them strangers but Dany has gotten "used to him". Maybe it's nothing, or maybe it's an indication of how the two of them are absolutely not on the same page (about anything).

Second, Jon's face after she says that. It shuts down. Like a door slamming. And then he says that "wish you good fortune in the wars to come" line, which has ZERO romance, or longing, but a whole lot of bad precedent (does that make sense?). Ouch. The thought that occured to me here is that Dany is being somewhat obvious about her feelings, and maybe, just maybe Jon has picked up on it. And that is why he reacts the way he does.

I wasn't sure so I compared the scene with the Jonsa forehead kiss scene in S6, and Jon's expressions after that kiss.

My logic was this- I assume that either Jon has become aware of Dany's feelings in the Eastwatch goodbye scene, or his own feelings for her. One of these assumptions is true. Which one?

If Jon has feelings for Sansa, then his confusion/awareness/discomfort regarding that are seen in that forehead kiss scene. So if Jon has become aware of his feelings for Dany, let's see how these two scenes compare?

My dudes. There is no comparison. Go watch it.

I watched both scenes with sound off, and the difference is insane. Jon looks at Sansa's lips. There's a moment's pause that's full of tension, and then his face shuts in a way, but it's a bit confused, a bit thoughtful.

Jon does not look at Dany's lips. He does not look confused, or thoughtful. This is not a romance.

Side observation- speaking of showing and telling, it's funny how we're shown Jon looking at Sansa's wolf bits, and told that Jon looks at Dany's good heart. Yes I'm talking about boobs but wolf bits and good heart is funnier. We literally see Jon look at the wolf bits twice, talk about it himself, in a completely unnecessary conversation...as opposed to being entirely dismissive of the good heart, even when someone else brings it up.

Back to the main point, one last thing I'd like to talk about is the scene where Jon actually bends the knee (not really). First, there are still no heart-eyes. Definitely not from Jon. Second, it's funny how Jon uses the exact hand-grabbing move that Sansa used on him last season, when she was trying to convince him to do something he didn't particularly wanna do (like he's now trying to do with Dany). This means that

1) he learnt that move from Sansa. He knows how effective it is XD

2) if the Jonerys hand-grab is romance, it stands to reason that the Jonsa hand-grab is romance too. I mean both the grabs are suspiciously similar.

Then, even after Dany "promises" that she'll help the North fight the WW, Jon still bends the knee. I felt both an odd sense of urgency coming from him, and an understandable hesitation. Or maybe that's just me.

Now suddenly, he becomes complimentary of her. But there's something weird about his compliments. They are completely generic. "They'll see you for what you are" and in the later episode, "you're not like the others". Wtf does that MEAN ??

Here's the thing...Jon could have paid Dany a way more specific, genuine sounding compliment after bending the knee (complete with heart eyes). I mean she did just fly over the Wall to rescue him and his men. He could have said more, something meaningful, but he didn't. He bent the knee like a house on fire (that doesn't make sense but you get what I mean I hope) and paid generic compliments. Then he pretended to sleep until she left and then sighed very loudly.

??? Romance??? WHERE????

Then the dragon pit. Heart-eyes still missing.

Then the sex scene. What do I say? Lol.

No really. There are no heart eyes even during the sex scene. Honestly, idk what that face was. Not in love for sure.

Another side note- Arya and Sansa have talks while standing in the same place where the forehead kiss scene happened (wtf do you call that place again, the bridge.??) But no heart eyes. No lingering looks. There is no incestuous gay love between them, I can say for sure. All it does is prop up the odd incestuous vibes of the Jon Sansa scene in that same place.

ANOTHER side note- goddamn but does Sansa talk about Jon a lot.

Edit: I'm sure most of this stuff has already been discussed in other metas. My purpose here is only to put down my first thoughts after watching the season.

#jonsa meta #jonsa #political jon #pol!jon #dark dany

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crybabyddl · 3 years

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I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

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thearoacewriter · 4 years

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so I was thinking about how lucky it was that Neil survived Baltimore and I thought it was kinda like someone put a protection charm on him bc Stuart showed up at the exact right time. then I was like “okay who out of all the foxes would be a witch?” and it hit me duh it would definitely be Andrew so here’s my pagan Andrew hc

It started with his interest in greek mythology. One of his foster homes had a massive library that caught his attention. Of course, he wasn’t there for long— Andrew never stayed at a home for more than a few weeks— so, along with a volume of the collected works of Shakespeare, he stole a book on Greek and Roman mythology.

He got through that book relatively quickly and wanted to know more. At first, he wanted to read about more obscure Greek myths, but when he went to Barnes & Noble (because he would never steal from an independent bookstore) a book about Norse mythology caught his eye.

He read up on as many different mythologies as he could find. Once he moved in with the Spears, Cass bought him all the mythology books he wanted, though Andrew never asked for them. She’d noticed the couple of books he lugged around and decided to buy him some more. Andrew never said thank you, but Cass knew he appreciated them because, within days, there’d be a million tabs sticking out of them.

It all stopped once Andrew went away to Juvie. The library they had there was just sad. They had one book on Greek myth and it was all of the basics that Andrew had already read a million times over.

Andrew hated his uncle as soon as he saw him. He hated Tilda even more. Tilda wasn’t really religious, but his uncle and aunt sure were. It was hard to piss off Tilda since she barely gave two shits about him, but he needed to take his anger out on someone. That left his aunt and uncle. They were the ones who put him in this situation in the first place. They were the ones who let Aaron stay here and get hurt. They were to blame for this as well.

Andrew didn’t believe in God. He never did. Not even when one of his first foster houses forced the kids to go to church every sunday. He was small and impressionable then, but the foster house before that one had made him lose any hope that there might be a God watching over him and keeping him safe.

During his time reading about different deities, he found out that people still worshipped them. Pagans. Witches. Wiccans. They worked with and worshipped the old gods. That had caught Andrew’s attention, but he learned about it just before juvie so he never had a chance to look more into it.

Now he did. He knew being a witch would piss Luther off more than anything. Luther had been trying to lead Andrew down a spiritual path, but Andrew wasn’t having any of it. He looked into witchcraft, bought a bunch of books on it. He learned the basics first: protection spells, what different crystals did, the wheel of the year. He started to practice reading tarot cards and even got a pendulum.

Andrew was obnoxious about his practice around Luther and Maria. They told him that he could be saved if he converted, that witchcraft was the will of the Devil. Andrew told him what he learned about Lucifer as an entity and how he was completely different from the Devil. He told them that Pagan’s didn’t believe in hell. “How can I fear damnation if I don’t believe in it?”

The more he practiced the more he believed. His tarot reading came up right every single time. His spells started to work too. At first, it was just little things like luck for a test in school or motivation to finish an essay. He got more confident in his spells, using them to help the people he cared about more than on himself. He cast a luck spell on Nicky after he heard about what his parents were doing to him when they found out he was gay. Soon after, he went to study abroad in Germany. He found someone who helped him out of the hole he’d been in.

Months past, Tilda was still hurting Aaron. Andrew had threatened her to keep his hands off him many times, but she wouldn’t listen. The plan took a little while to formulate, but once he was ready, he cast his first hex. It exhausted him. He felt like he’d played a full game of exy. Though he knew he had to keep going. He’d casted a protection spell on himself before the hex, but he needed an even stronger one if he was going to survive what he was about to do.

He was tired, but determined. Aaron was pretending to be him somewhere else at the moment, so he had to pretend to be Aaron. He wasn’t worried that Tilda could tell the difference. They’d done this a few times before and Tilda never suspected a thing.

The car crashed. Tilda died. Andrew lived, somewhat unscathed.

Nicky came back from Germany when he heard. Andrew kept practicing. He celebrated the Sabbats, oftentimes Nicky would join him even though he was Christian. He didn’t want Andrew to have to celebrate alone. Sometimes, he’d even get Aaron to join in.

When Kevin came into the picture, he started casting protection spells on him. He’d place crystals in his pockets to help with his arm and anxiety. He’d draw sigils in the back of Kevin’s notebooks.

He put a hex on Riko the minute he found out he broke Kevin’s arm. Those worked well enough in the end.

He looked into truth spells once Neil Josten came to Palmetto, though he never used any of them. He’d never do a spell that took away anyone’s free will. Hermes, his patron, wouldn’t approve anyway.

He missed Yule while he was at Easthaven. He couldn’t do anything for it besides meditate and try to communicate with his deities in astral. He was good enough at casting protection charms on himself without any materials, but not so good at astral projecting.

Once he got out, he placed some protection spells on Neil too. He didn’t want to admit it, but now that he was sober, he couldn’t blame the feelings he had for Neil on his meds. He wanted to keep Neil safe. It was part of their deal, sure, but he also did it to feel less like something was going to jump out and grab Neil at any second.

He cleansed his dorm for Imbolc. Aaron and Nicky were used to Andrew spritzing rain water everywhere on the first of February. Kevin looked at him funny as he came out of his room, but didn’t say anything. Just like he didn’t say anything about the crystals and sigils.

His tarot reading for Imbolc said he would open up more. He thought he’d read his cards wrong, but his clarifiers confirmed it. He thought it was bullshit until Eden’s. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” It kept happening as Neil followed him to the roof more and more often. Then, they kissed. Andrew wanted Neil to push him away, to tell him no, but he wouldn’t.

They kept messing around. Andrew kept slipping crystals into Neil’s pockets. He even made him a tiger’s eye keychain since Andrew knew Neil always had his keys on him. He knew how important keys were to Neil, so he knew he’d never lose them.

That is until their match against the Bearcats. The riot after the game caused Andrew to go after Aaron and Kevin. He wanted to go after Neil first, but he remembered that they broke their deal. He forced himself to look away from Neil. He assured himself that Neil was safe. He had his tiger’s eye keychain. He had the protection spell Andrew always casts before they leave for away games.

Though, when they all got on the bus, Neil was nowhere to be found. He went back out and only came up with Neil’s duffle bag. He dug through it and found his keys tucked inside. Andrew started to panic, though he didn’t show it. He forced some answers out of Kevin and they were on their way to Baltimore.

Andrew sat in his usual seat. He was the most fidgety he’d ever been since getting off his meds. He couldn’t cast any protection spells since he didn’t have the right supplies, but he did hold onto Neil’s tiger’s eye and prayed to Hermes to keep Neil safe.

He didn’t quite understand what happened until Neil explained everything. The thing about magick was that it was unpredictable. When Andrew found out that Neil’s father was still alive, he wanted a way to keep him away from Neil permanently. He couldn’t find the right hex to use, so he tried to manifest his death instead. Manifestation is tricky. If you’re not extremely specific, there’s no telling how it’d play out.

His protection spells had worked to an extent, it’s just that his manifestation worked more. Neil was saved at the last second by his uncle, but he still had major wounds. Nathan Wesninski was dead at least, though that didn’t stop Andrew from blaming himself for not being more thorough.

After Neil’s arms healed a bit and after Neil started wearing the armbands Andrew got him, Andrew would draw protection sigils on his arms while they were sitting on the roof. They were covered during the day, most of the time Neil just sweated them off, but Neil swooned every time Andrew did it. It was a sign that he cared, truly cared, about Neil.

Additionally, Sir is Andrew’s familiar. Don’t ask me why it’s not King because idk it’s just the vibe

Also eventually Neil starts giving Andrew things he finds on his hikes because Neil’s a little goblin boy and he knows that Andrew could use some of the things in rituals or as offerings

They also do a handfasting ritual on the Beltane after they get married. They got married mostly because Andrew didn’t want to have to fight with the nurses to let him see Neil if he got hurt or vice versa. Weddings don’t have value to Andrew, but handfasting rituals do, so they did one in this meadow they like to go to sometimes and had a picnic afterward

anyway I like projecting onto my favorite characters so thanks for letting me indulge i would very much like Andrew to celebrate the sabbats with me. I’m a kitchen witch, he likes sweets, it’s the perfect combination

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #kevin day #andreil #my writing

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tequiladimples · 3 years

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I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes.

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

#look away this is so long #also @ my non fic mutuals scroll past it pls #it’s not that deep i’m just tired #ask

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0ceanoflight · 3 years

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My thoughts on Gaya Sa Pelikula now that I've watched all 8 eps.

Cause I need to write down my thoughts and Twitter's character limit just isn't enough so thank you tumblr. This is gonna be a rant

Also, just wanna say this is from the point of view of a gay trans masc enby, aka me.

First impression

Gaya Sa Pelikula is just.... Wow. It's hard to describe. I originally watched it cause some moots on Twitter kept talking about it and they recommended it to me. It doesn't take much for me to watch a gay show, so of course I checked it out. At the time I think maybe 2-3 eps were out.

I knew nothing about the plot. I had no expectations for it. Just hoping it didn't have any problematic stuff in it, hopefully some cute stuff, same as any other gay show. It was just some show to watch to pass the time. I was wrong. It's so much more than just a good show. It's rare for me to get THIS emotionally invested into a show.

From the first ep I thought "Oh, this is pretty realistic lol. I've said stuff like this", referring to Vlad's lines. That continued as I watched the remaining available eps. Later my moots mentioned that it was written by a gay man and I understood right away. GSP is a gay show with the intention of being very realistic. It wasn't just gay for entertainment's sake. It was gay for the sake for real gay people.

Characters

The characters are so well written. They are flawed. They're not perfect. They all have their own struggles that you wouldn't know until you sat down and talked to them. Their lines and personalities are real. They feel real. I've met people like that. I have friends like that. I see myself in them. Also the acting is incredible. Really brought it to the next level.

The Music

A golden sound track. Every song just fit. It felt like the songs were made for that scene. The lyrics, the vibe. There were so many times when I thought that lyrics perfectly fit the scene in a way that would make me connect even more to what was happening. Really couldn't have been better. 10/10.

The visuals and plot devices

The way everything seems to have a purpose. Everything seems to be interconnected. There were so many things that were mentioned earlier in the episode, or I'm previous episodes that you originally didn't fully understand, then they would come back and suddenly *mindblown*.

The lines in the first prom dancing scene in the first ep. The ghost stories (still blows my mind). Vlad not liking his hair being touch which wasn't explained till later. The keychain. The theme song test. The movie they were watching about the imaginary beach (I forgot the name). The reason behind Judit's seemingly fake/weird ally speeches. The reason why Karl always seemed so stiff and awkward. The closet. The orca. The remote. Ect.

All of that came back later in the show and added so much depth. The metaphors used seemed to almost add extra explainations. Like... they didn't just give more layers of complexity, but it gave us a stronger understanding of what was going on. Or at least it made it more emotional. Idk. I was just one of he people who read posts of others dissecting the show cause I'm not as good. Lol.

Also there were beautiful scenes visually. Karl's dance scene. Beautiful. The film scenes outside, looked gorgeous. The use of mirrors and the TV. Great. Awesome

Connections

There were a lot of things I connected to.

Vlad's lines like I mentioned above were among the first. I've personally said or thought very similar things. Or even those exact things. I was actually shocked at first. By how real that felt for me.

Vlad being lonely, but faking it. Aha. I'm an introvert, and people know it. As much as I need space, I get lonely very easily as well. And friends online sometimes aren't enough. It's not the same as having someone there. With covid, and the fact that all of my friends live far away or are normally too busy to meet up, I very rarely am actually with friends. It almost hurts tbh. Especially since I'm a very affectionate person. Also the gay yearning hours are real and powerful.

Karl's dance scene, letting out the inner femininity. So I'm a bit different. I never came out as gay. I'm a gay trans guy. People already knew, or assumed, I liked men. However I did have the struggle of inner femininity. I hated fem things up until I was maybe 15-16, maybe almost 17. I didn't know why I hated it, I just did. Clearly now I know why. However my evolution to being a fem guy from hating fem things happened around the same time as discovering I'm not actually a girl. It was confusing 3 years (yes it took me about 3 years to piece everything together, a bit longer to settle). My point is, once I opened up to fem things, it was beautiful. It really really was. I felt more comfortable. I felt freer. I went from "ew makeup, skirts, leggings, pink. I hate it". To wearing makeup, wearing leggings, liking pink, often painting my nails. I've worn pretty short shorts with a loose t-shirt and a cardigan. Peak fem. Felt great. I want to wear a skirt, but I'm too afraid to do that. I may feel better with being fem, but society is still society and I might get looks cause "wtf, a man wearing a skirt?". Maybe one day. Uhhh anyways. The times I've grown to become more fem felt like how watching Karl dance felt like. Just like that.

Karl's struggle with his sexuality. Ok again I can't relate on the gay part, cause my coming out was coming out at trans. However yea. That was an adventure. I remember being so confused in 8th grade & 9th grade. God that was.... something. At first I thought I just wanted to be more tomboyish, more androgynous. So I found androgynous girls with short hair and said "I want this". Everyone was confused. My friends said "is there a reason you cut your hair so short?". I was afraid of that question. At the time I didn't know why I was so afraid. I don't remember exactly what I said, but tbh I was pretty defensive. Of course I later realized why I felt that way. I remember finally figuring things out after I settled into knowing I was trans, I didn't know how to come out. I couldn't say it directly. In fact, I never did. To my friends I just said "he/him, they/them pronouns" when asked at events, and of course they knew, but didn't ask more. In fact one friend found out cause I wrote "agender" on a form cause he looked over my shoulder. For my family... I just dropped a big hint, and they understood something was up. I wasn't able to explain it well then either. It took another 2-3 months till I couldn't take it anymore and did my best to explain it better so they would take it seriously. I was afraid. I couldn't say it directly. I actually didn't come out to my my high school. I was too afraid. I had friends who were out and I was jealous. I was jealous of their bravery. Same as Karl to Vlad. I was out to friends, but couldn't be open in the real world, much like Karl. I was only out within the space of the GSA, and of the local lgbt center. That was my "apartment". It was only until after i graduated where I promised myself I would live my real self.

The prom dance scene. I missed my high school's prom too. I wasn't brave enough to wear a suit. That would be like coming out and I wasn't ready. So I missed that. I wouldn't have been able to be open of course. I went to the senior dinner. I guess that was the start of me trying to be open. I went in a suit. Tailored men's dress pants too. I went with friends.

Wanting to write my own stories. That's a big one isn't it? I never really do see myself in films or tv. An autistic mentally ill gay trans masc enby? Yea, not a thing. Not a popular role in hollywood, will never be. I'm not a writer, I wanted to be as a kid, I was going to go to uni for writing, but I'm not really good enough for that. I really really do want to see more of myself in media. I wish I could be able to create such things for other people as well. Cause things like Gaya Sa Pelikula are truly magical. It literally made me cry whenever something I related to happened.

#gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #yea its long #i am emotionally attached to this show

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shrimp-colours · 3 years

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who is your favorite tua person. mine is klaus and/or five/and or vanya if you do not agree you are lying

Rating TUA characters based on no logic except my twisted own

Luther- 6/10. Season 1 Luther however- -2/10. He got a redemption arc and apologized and I love him for that.

Diego- 8/10. A Himbo (Respects women, an absolute idiot, and muscular). Makes me laugh. I love him. But he also had an obsession with JFK so....

Allison- 23/10. I love her. She has her problems, yes and we should absolutely address and talk about them. But, she also had a terrible childhood, and lost her child and then like a month later, lost her husband whom she loved with her whole entire heart. NE ways, wait for “Child Abuse in The Umbrella Academy essay” coming whenever I get around to writing it.

Klaus- 8/10. Boys got his problems. Probably not the most traumatized of them all but anyway, wait for my essay. He needs to go to therapy. Immediately.

Five- Solid 9/10. He’s an amazing character (not a good person, a good character), and deffo the most entertaining. Anyway, good plots, amazing lines, perfect chaos entity.

Ben- 9/10. He needs more of his own story, we need Ben, not Klaus and Ben. I’m just getting tired of Klaus, guest starring Ben. I want Ben, guest starring no one because Ben deserves his own plot and story and I have too many feelings.

Vanya- 8/10. She’s wonderful. Needs to hide her meds better.

The Handler- -199999938472748724/10. She’s horrible. I despise her, loathe her. With that in mind, she has the best wardrobe. She’s tall, hot, and im gay leave me alone. But she also has icky vibes. When she’s with Five she’s icky. I dont like her and Five alone.

Raymond Chestnut- It’s impossible to assign a rating to a perfect person. Good day.

Lila- 10/10. She’s amazing. Love her.

Elliot- 8/10. cant explain it.

Sissy- 10/10. She loves Harlan and does the best with the resources available to her as a woman with a son with autism in the 60s.

Carl- -199999938472748723/10. 1 point less than the Handler. Homophobic shit.

Patrick (Allisons ex)- 3/10. Don’t know him, except he was right in divorcing Allison for manipulating their daughter with powers

Claire- 8/10. I want to know her.

R*ginald Hargreeves- doesnt deserve to be on this list. Has earned the name "Veggie"/"Veginald" because vegetables suck and so does he.

Grace (Robot) Hargreeves- 7/10. She didnt have a choice on whether to stop R*ggie so she didn't.

Grace (Human)- Perfect. Absolutely beautiful. 9/10. Still went out with R*ggie.

Sparrows

Marcus- 7/10. Seems kinda cool. If he’s nice it’ll go up to 9/10. But idk if he’s nice or not so, sticking with 7.

Ben- 6/10. An asshole. But a good character, I hope.

Fei- 10/10. I love her already. Seems like a really amazing character

Alphonso- 5/10. Seems like the exact opposite of Klaus. He’s the token straight of the family.

Sloane- 9/10. I like her too. She seems really nice and if she isn’t ill hurt someone.

Jayme- 22/10. Pretty, don’t blame me im gay. But also she’s smart and scares people. I want to be her.

Christopher- 9/10. A cube!!! Awesome. But he replaced baby Vanya so -1 point.

I realize this didnt answer the question at all, but here you go.

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exorcistas · 3 years

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Hello,,, do u happen to have some book recommendations?? I'm trying to read more and ur taste with books/novels is rlly nice!!

Omg thank u 🥺💖(kisses ur forehead)

My #1 recommendation has to be dark matter by michelle paver. Its a ghost story about this group of dudes who go on an arctic research expedition during the 1940’s, and i just rly fuck with the aesthetic of the stifling isolation and paranoia and the darkness of the polar nights <3 plus it has to be my favorite gay horror book of all time

The fisherman by john langan: rly heavy lovecraft vibes, but without the racism lol. The descriptions of the monsters are fuckin sick

The exorcist by william peter blatty: a must for gay ex catholics. The movie is rly faithful to the book (it’s p much the exact same), but I find the book to be scarier than the movie? Idk, the way pazuzu is written can quickly go from hilarious to horrifying from one sentence to the next. Reading the book really made me love the movie that much more. Plus, karrasdyer rights

P much anything by clive barker. His writing is just really gruesome and sick, it's great. A few favorites of mine are; imajica (u can probably beat someone to death with this book, its so fuckin long. definitely worth it though), mister b gone (kinda tedious at times but i’d say it's worth reading for the problematic gay demons lol), books of blood (fucking loooooove these books!!!! Favorites of mine are pig blood blues, the yattering and jack, and dread), also of course the hellbound heart if you haven’t read it already.

Interview with the vampire by anne rice and then nothing else cuz her writing sucks. I’ve wanted to finish reading the vampire lestat for years and I just can’t do it…..

Lovecraft if you can stomach it :/ few favorites of mine are: pickmans model, the outsider, dagon, the shadow over innsmouth, the dunwich horror, the color out of space, and of course the call of cthulhu. Don’t let anyone tell you that at the mountains of madness isn’t boring, they’re fucking lying (cool aesthetic tho)

I’m still reading the hunger by alma katsu but my gay friends seem to love it so there u go

Can’t rly think of anything else cuz i'm illiterate and picky, so here u go!

#👻💬

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futurewriter2000 · 3 years

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My Dear Audience

I know you are usually the victims of my emotional outbursts I post on my blog, probably didn't read the fine print when you pressed the follow button. You can always skip these posts/rants I make that's why I always put the "keep reading" function so that yall don't have to scroll for 10 minutes straight. But sometimes I write things down to get clearer in certain situations I'm in. It helps me figure it out. It's like my subconscious speaking to my conscious dumbass. Idk, maybe it will help you too or not. You can always write me your opinions because I love to see other opinions and perspective on certain themes I put in here. So let's get into it!

The reason I'm writing this is because it's faster to write in my journal and I don't trust my journal at all. Like I don't know why I'm hiding certain things from my journal. Maybe because my sister and mother used to read them when I was a kid. But yeah, sometimes I can be a little pathetic. But bear with me. We are all different and how we process emotions is different to all of us.

My sister told me something about me missing somebody, who I had dealt with in the recent past. And I told her that I don't and that I moved on from him already.

I firmly do believe I had moved on from him but something made me wonder if I really did when I was trying so hard to explain to her how I did move on.

You see, I did have a lot of friend break ups last year and from seven of them, I think that two hurt me the most. One was a guy (shocker) that I used to be so close with for 3 years but had known him for about 5 years. And the other was my best friend of 3 years or something as well. She was literally amazing to the point when she started to... get a bit wild, which I don't mind but she started to become more wild and more rude, arrogant and ignorant as well.

I was literally so attached to both but there came a moment, a click all of a sudden where I just knew that I don't want to be their friend anymore because they constantly hurt me. The worst part was that I didn't understand the why, I just knew that they were both toxic for me and that I didn't like what said or did to me. It took me long, sobbing and self-blaming nights to move on from both of them. It took me about 8 months to get over the guy and almost a year (around 11 months) to get over her. It's not that I was in love with them- I just love people way too much. I would give the world for my friends.

When I moved on from the guy (1), I met another guy (2) which reminded so much of guy 1. Literally, they were both tall, light eyes, dirty blonde/brown hair, both Aries (like a day apart)... but their character was different. Nevertheless, the similarities were wow but it was their character that made them so different. I admired guy 2 character more than anybody's character (lies... there are a few people) in my life. There is just something so interesting in people who think so differently or are different in general. He just had this magnetic pull. When we met, there was something so similar in him that I couldn't put my finger on and we just clicked in one day. The first day we met, we clicked. First 10 minutes we met, click. There was not even the introduction of our names, we just vibed so much that we let go of the unimportant details.

You can expect I fell in love with the guy. He bought me choclates and energies and opened the doors for me, and he always came to get me for lunch... the guy was literally treating me so good and my hopeless romantic self fell in love. He was the first ever guy that I considered to date. There were previous crushes, yes but he was just "the one". Don't judge. I am way too romantic.

He was the one until he started to give me hot and cold game. But we still vibed. Then he turned out to be gay, which to my surprise I was so relieved. I don't know why I was so relieved but I just was. It made me realise that I really didn't want to be with him in a romantic way, because that was so much pressure and work and I can finally relax. Bc when I can flirt with everything and everybody until I start to catch feelings. Then I turn into a tree. Makes no sense but you know what I mean. I just didn't know how to act.

He left. No goodbye, no nothing. I cried like a baby but it was easy for me to move on because we knew each other for a month and he seemed to be that person, who enters your life for a certain reason. I thought it was to show me that guy 1 was literally an ass and that I can be treated better by friends than I believed.

Okay, I moved on.

Until that bitch returned one day and made me forget to walk. I don't know what he did to me. I knew he was gay, I knew that there will nothing become of us ever. I was okay with that but he still made me feel butterflies. But so did the guy 1 but the guy 1 made me feel more of a sad anxiety butterflies and the guy 2 was happy anxiety butterflies.

We vibed like nothing ever happened. We went out on drinks, walks, I even went to his house, he met one of my friends, we made plans... until a day came where all of a sudden he started to act distant.

I was like, okay... maybe he just needs a time alone. If anything guy 1 has thought me was that I should never drill into people or pressure them to open up to me.

God, I knew something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes and on his face and I just knew it. But you know when people say hurt people hurt people.... oh did he just say the right words to prove that.

We had a conversation and I said something among the lines: "Yeah but at least we're such good friends now."

"Are we?" he said and when I tell you I felt my heart sink into the depth of whatever pit there is. It got cut into pieces and stomped over and shit like that but my defense mechanism is laughter and smiling.

"You're telling me we're not friends?" I asked him, my dumbass laughing.

"Then I must be a really bad friend."

AND MY DUMBASS WENT. "Noooo! You have your good qualities."

And so on and so on.

I'm not playing the victim in this situation. I was not the victim here. He was just... hurting.... he just.... really didn't have to hurt me too and sometimes I wished I went away and didn't start any conversation.

But he was so new and so interesting and I had never clicked so well with anybody.

Don't roll your eyes when I tell you that I believe in soulmates. I do. I believe I had 4 soulmates in my life and it's odd to describe it but there is this... feeling you have when you're with them that just make sense.

My soulmate definitely was not guy 1. But there was this crush I had in middle school that I had never exchanged words with but like I said... there's a feeling and fleeting moments where you just know.

So him... and my best friend of 2 years before the other best friend of 3 years.

And him. The guy 2.

There's a certain click you have with your soulmate. And I had many friends, many people and crushes and loves but none of them are those four soulmates.

I believe guy 2 is... but I also believe that he is that exact karma of what I did with guy 1. I was just not in love with guy 1. I think he was in love with me but I just wasn't in love with him. Yes, we are friends and good but I am not in love with you. (he wrote me a song that I was so oblivious that it was meant for me. I realised that a year later and yes I am face-palming myself right now). I just left him like that.

Just like guy 2 left me like that. I was in love with him but he couldn't be in love with me. And he left me... just like that.... just like I left guy 1. The fucking irony in that.

Months past, guy 2 disappoints me constantly until the point where he disappointed me so hard that I just couldn't go back to him. I never hated him... I never hate anybody but I do learn and I let go.

It was hard for me to let go because the pain felt just as horrible as it did with guy 1... just worse... so much worse. The memories me and guy 2 have are the memories that can be labeled as unforgettable ones. When I tell you that it was like a movie when we were hanging out together. Like a bloody movie... the way we met, the way we clicked, the love/rejection scene, him leaving, him coming back, us not having normal conversations (I had never had conversations as I did with him with anybody in this entire world. The conversations with him were... the ones that you don't forget easily.), the roadtrips we took, the awkward moments, the sharing deepest darkest secrets moments, the fun moments, the way we were so comfortable with each other that it felt like I had known him for years, not months.

Like a movie. A real, indie like movie. Him in bright/white clothes, me in dark/black clothes. Him the logical, me the dreamy. Me the romantic and innocent, him the not so romantic and definitely not so innocent.... like ying and yang... up until the ying didn't want the yang anymore.

I don't know what happened, really... he just didn't want to hang out with me anymore. His whole behaviour towards me changed.

Hurt people hurt people.

I cried... for months... shocker... but then there came a day when I just woke up and I was just ok.

You know there were times I would cry because of the memories. Because I never felt like this with anybody. Oh no... you know when you meet someone who is special in your life. You know you're in it deep from the moment you meet them. Tik Tok tarot readings really did not help. He just randomly popped in my mind. I couldn't look at pistachios... I couldn't drive by the gas station anymore, I even quit my job (but that was mostly for me), I couldn't go to the store without thinking of the time we went to the store. Still, every bus I see I wish I could see him in it.

But then I asked myself. What would I do if I did see him? I mean, the last time he disappointed me so hard that I don't think I could even look at him. I wouldn't want to give him his birthday gift because this shit is long passed. Once exciting to give it, now dreading it. Once I wanted to tell him everything... now I don't want a single thing to share with him because that creates another memory I would only cry over. The fact was.... so much time had passed that all the nostalgia, the energy, the excitement... it all just disappeared because I stopped giving it. I promised myself no more. And yes I wanted to just text him and call him to give him a peace of my mind but no. I held myself back and I rather cried and felt sorry for myself that ever giving my time and energy to someone who just... isn't worth it....

He disappointed me so much to the point I had to realise that when I think of him as someone who has broadened my perspective on the world, taught me certain things and gave me such great memories to look back on... for me he was a soulmate but for him I was just that one person, he worked with. Like he said... I wasn't a friend... though I don't know why he made plans with me... maybe to fill me with empty promises like most people do but I accept that.

I was done wasting time on mourning.

One thing I didn't realise about moving on from people was that you can still wish for them to come back or wish for things to be different and miss the hell out of them. Don't you think that just because I moved on from guy 1 and that best friend that I didn't think of reaching out to them. I did... to every last one of them but that will bring me nowhere. I just don't know where they would lead me... because I changed, yes but that doesn't mean they did.

I still wish them the best... I do look back on them with fond memories. Of course, I don't think the two can even come close to the guy 2. He is one of a kind but there are such wonderful people out in the world and guy 2 has thought me that I can be treated better than some people treated me.

Plus he was a good muse for the emotional works I had written and drew.

So I really did move on... by finally accepting the fact that it won't be like a movie and that not all people are here to change your life and stay in it. Maybe they just change it and leave you to grow further on.

All of them thought me so much but I do swear that the last one had really put an impact in my life. Made it better, no matter the hurt he caused. Most of it was because I let it happen. I let him take the wheel for a while but now I'm driving again and he's left the bus.

#this was so long #you probably didn't stick to the end #but if you did #wow

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crazycookiemaniac · 4 years

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Omg why are you losing so many followers youve been drawing gay shit for forever??? (Or maybe i as a gay was just interpreting it that way)

Because I literally spammed people every day for one week lmao. And also, a lot of people follow others for specific content. The moment I stop drawing that exact thing they followed me for, they unfollow me. There are also accounts that follow just to make you follow them & if you don’t, they unfollow you after a while. There’s people who followed me for haikyuu & weren’t interested in BC content, and there were people who followed me for BC content but got showered in gay art instead and that was not their cuppa tea.

But mostly, i start appearing on people’s feed the more I post. So having me post incessantly for one week made me show up on feeds that I hadn’t shown up for a good while, so there were probably people who forgot they had followed me in the first place & me posting was a reminder to unfollow.

Truthfully, follower counts are dumb. Yes, it is important for you to have a high follower count for you to get attention, but the amount of people actually following you if you don’t have a consistent art style & rarely ever post something with different vibes than your usual ones, is equal or less than 1% of your total amount of following.

My instagram tells me I have 43k. I do not have 43k people following me. I’ve had 43k that once saw my account & pressed the follow button, but their feeds are filled up with other people’s accs that interest them more than mine (as well as my own feed does not show all the content of the 200+ something people I follow, unless I scroll down till the depths of hell to find every single post on that day and then do so on the next day as well).

Essentially, 95% of your followers are there because of content. They want to see what entertains them. Most of them don’t care about the artist and don’t interact with them at all. Many of them are scared to, given the high follower count. Social media & big accounts make people forget that there are other, real, living & breathing people that are behind them all.

So, to many, I was just a random artist they found and “lol”ed at one of my comics & pressed follow without thinking about it. Most of them don’t go to my account and see all other art I’ve posted to see if they actually like what I do, or me as a person and as an artist at all.

People who don’t know this get really discouraged when they don’t earn a lot of followers, or when they lose a lot (like I did). And some people think you gotta have hundreds of thousands to be famous. I’ve seen accs going around that paid for ads, that had over 150k followers and less than 1k likes on their posts.

Truly famous, loved, growing and/or steady accounts have an amount of likes per post proportional to their follower count. For example, if someone has 150k followers, most of their posts will vary from 20k to 100k likes.

When I was growing my account because I hopped in the fandom bandwagon and stupid little me didn’t know that would only make me crash later, I had like 20~30k and some of my posts reached more than 20k likes (because people liked my stupid comics). Nowadays, I’m not part of the fandom that made me grow anymore. I’m part of a very underrated one (Black Clover), as well a I am drawing a very underrated ship (LuGna) that above all else is getting hated on. I have everything against me in this, so it’s no wonder I lost so many followers.

They didn’t wanna see gay art. They didn’t wanna see Black Clover. They didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Not everyone paid attention or kept up with my warnings. Despite me explaining multiple times in multiple posts what the Thunder Flames project was about, a lot of people still didn’t know what I was doing that for.

The thing about being a big follower count is that, unless you’re actually loved for what you do (and to do that, once again, I need to emphasize that you need to keep a steady rhythm, a steady vibe, a steady you. Because people follow you for your first impression on them, and you gotta keep up to that first impression if you wanna keep your followers.

I’m unsteady. One look at my gallery and you’ll see how disorganized everything is. Oh, lookit, a 1 min speedpaint of a random drawing I did on an old piece of paper! And right on the left there’s a stupid random comic I did–on the right there’s this super detailed, shaded drawing I’ve done that actually looks terrible to me and I will 100% archive it later, and then there’s B&W mixed with gray shaded, flat colored and fully shaded characters of different fandoms + OCs from commissions and whatever else.

The thing is, I made my follower count based on a fandom, and now that I’m not there most of that follower count does not have me on their feed. And most of them do not want me on their feed. Now, I’m trying to build a follower count for who I am as an artist, because the few people who have actually stayed and followed me throughout the years know how inconsistent I am in terms of art style, fandoms and everything else.

A solution to this would me either keep creating/posting the same thing all over again (just in different patterns), or creating original content (which I do plan on doing at some point). But for now? Since my follower count does absolutely not reflect on how many people actually like me and/or my art, I’m going to be as chaotic as fucking ever and do whatever the fuck I want.

So yes, I do find it comical that I lost 1k followers over this and am not fazed in the very least, especially because I literally foreshadowed losing 1k and hit the fucking jackpot.

The only reason I’m talking about this at all is because 1- it’s impossible not to notice my follower count decreasing, especially because every new 1k I thank people publicly through stories; 2- some people were actually worried I was upset over it and I have to 3- show that I am not, while simultaneously trying to show people that just because you’re losing followers doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you want to create content to please people. It doesn’t mean you should be upset, and it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is bad or wrong.

It means you’re fucking renewing your followers & you’ll now grow for what you’re trying to grow for, bitch. That’s what it’s all about.

Obviously, people do take a great risk doing this. I am taking a great risk doing this. I could’ve lost 5k, I could’ve lost 10k. But I only lost 1k! And that’s because I believe in the project I worked on; I knew there were people out there who enjoyed what I was doing and it’s on them that I was focused on. On the people who supported me AND my art, not just that one single funny comic post I did 3 years ago.

This answer is 100% a lot longer than what you could’ve possibly expected for and I am typing this while being awake for more than 24h so I’m sure that I’ve repeated myself a lot and that there are a lotta typos or w/e and I apologize for that!! But I’m too lazy to go back to read everything over & turn this into a neat post & I’m pretty sure I could answer your question in the first paragraph.

Oh and also. Yes. Yes I have been drawing gay shit ever since I’ve become an artist because I’m so fucking pissed at the lack of canon gay content in a way that it’s depicted as a normal fucking romantic couple instead of having eeeeeeeeveryone point their finger to the gay couple and scream “HEY THAT’S GAY!!! THIS CAN’T BE PART OF THIS VERY HETEROSEXUAL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS OBVIOUSLY HETEROSEXUAL EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE EVER SAID THAT EXPLICITLY BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE CREATORS ARE EITHER HETEROSEXUAL OR TOO AFRAID TO LOSE AUDIENCE IF THEY TREAT GAY PEOPLE AS NORMAL PEOPLE!??!! WHAT SORT OF ABSURD NONSENSE IS THAT??!! GAY PEOPLE AREN’T NORMAL!! THEY’RE GAY AND THEY SHOULD HAVE A GAY SHOW JUST FOR THEM IF THEY WANNA GET SCREENTIME” and yadda yadda yadda.

I’m tired of this bullshit. Ever since I was an artist I’ve been rooting for gay ships in shonen manga while knowing they would never happen just because they were gay, and now that we are in our Blessed-By-Satan, Pandemic-Chaotic, What-The-Fuck-Is-Going-On, We-Don’t-Know-If-We-Wanna-Go-Back-Or-To-The-Future-Or-Just-IDK-Fucking-Die year 2020, in which the LGBT community is thriving and being louder than ever to fight for our rights, Me, in my twenty four years of fucking age, having gone through several fucking disappointments ONLY regarding this matter, am sitting here on my ass, hopeful as all galactic, glittery shit that for some fucking reason, my new OTP formed by very underrated characters from this very underrated franchise in the southern and western communities, becomes canon because my stupid eyes can see chemistry between them even though those stupid haters’ can’t. But that’s because they’re stupid and homophobic, and they really should just shut the fuck up. I don’t wanna dream, I want to believe. Let a bitch pray in peace.

But even if I’m getting ready for disappointment, I’m gonna make this project happen and I’m gonna have a shit ton of artbooks from this Thunder Flames project inside my fucking garage if no one wants to buy them. But I am going to invest a shit ton of money in it and I am going to have these artbooks come to life. Because I am spiteful and petty and homophobes should shut the fuck up, and I wanna do what I wanna do bc as an independent artist, I’m building my future with my own two, very toned and buff by now from all the drawing I did, hands.

God fucking damn it.

Jesus christ I’m just rambling at this point, I’m so sorry. If anyone ever reads this out of context people are going to be so confused.

But that’s fine. They won’t. You know why? Cuz I got almost 11k followers here on tumblr but less than 0.5% gives a shit that I’m here, so I’m safe.

Have a nice day, drink your water and fuck homophobes. Peace

#Anonymous

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

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tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

#if theres a note that explains why some of the immortals have a whisk can someone point me to towards it?#im assuming its not actually a kitchen whisk although that would be something #is it like the feather dusters songxiao carry?#tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles #i guess this is what im doing with my time now

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volturialice · 4 years

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Spork Haven chapter 23: salt fucking peter

welcome to spork haven, where I spork the EL James fic you’ve never heard of

previous chapter | next chapter | contents

previously on Spork Haven:

actor!Edward got an outlandish fucking award and became Best Actor!Edward! hotel maid murder witness cello prodigy orphaned ““cajun”” heiress!Bella was his date to the awards show! Ed looked into Emmett’s dark burning eyes and had a Moment! Bella felt dizzy and then went missing! will the Volturi mafia succeed in murdering her? let’s hope so stick around and find out!

warning: this chapter is incredibly long. please check the tags for content warnings—there are a lot! it’s eventful, though, so we’ll give it a pass. but settle in and make yourself comfortable. maybe go get a drink or something. I know I needed a drink after I read this garbage.

chapter 23 opens with Edward attempting to process the fact that Bella has disappeared. he does this in what I have to admit is a pretty seamless fusion of el james’s and stephenie meyer’s trademark styles (negative space here preserved for authenticity):

wow. eat your heart out, New Moon.

once we’ve experienced that bit of totally original typesetting magic, Edward leaps into action!

just kidding. he’s “totally fucking immobilized.” paralyzed with fear, he “stifles a sob” and toys with whether to “wail, scream, and tear his hair out with impotence”

luckily, he’s very good at giving himself pep talks:

this bracing self-administered kick in the pants unfreezes him, allowing him to summon the mental faculties to go get Emmett.

Emmett clears the ladies’ room and calls for backup. He and Edward search the restroom and are joined by a rando Local security guard as they discover—gasp!—a secret second exit to the bathroom (shoutout to the phoenix airport womens’ room, amirite?) leading into a service tunnel.

the Local security guard informs them that the tunnel leads to an alley, but the alley’s only exit is onto Hollywood Boulevard. you know, the street currently clogged with limos, paparazzi, cameras, and fans. idk about y’all but I’m starting to think this kidnap attempt may have been just a tad poorly conceived. why kidnap her at all? they had ample time to kill her, dump her body in the service tunnel, and make their escape unencumbered.

as Ed, Emmett, and Local race down the service tunnel, Emmett radios for Jasper to go around and cut the Bad Guys off in the alley. Edward is the slowest of the bunch

so he quickly falls behind the other two.

he’s trying to catch up when—wait! what’s that on the ground? something...sparkly?

that’s right: he pauses in chasing after Bella and her kidnapper in order to notice “six thousand dollars’ worth of earring” lying on the ground.

then he stops and picks it up.

now, I know what you’re thinking, guys—is he seriously stopping to pick up a lost earring when Bella’s life is in danger?—but keep in mind, these earrings were twelve thousand dollars. also, Edward loves earrings! they make him horny! what else is he supposed to suck on at Bella’s funeral?

I mean, yeah, if your worst fear was that Bella might lose an earring.

what indeed, Edward. what indeed.

imagine for a second that you’re Emmett in this fic. you’re a law enforcement professional racing to protect your charge’s life, bellowing into your walkie for backup, preparing to apprehend an armed and dangerous suspect in an area full of innocent civilians...when suddenly, from somewhere far behind you in the dingy gloom of the service tunnel, you hear the sniveling, British-accented voice of the bitchass manchild celebrity who’s tagging along:

“I’vE fOuNd hEr eArRiNg!”

jesus.

still ahead of Eddie boy, Emmett and Local burst out into the alley, guns drawn. Edward hears gunfire and is terrified for Bella as he finally catches up and arrives at the scene.

this is about where erika’s writing gets...incredibly confusing. and not in a POV, “we’re in the character’s head experiencing the chaos with him in real time” way. more like in a “several dozen drunk blind amputees playing Twister” way. this is my cute way of saying “it’s bad” and “I had to read it four times before it began to make sense.”

in the alley, all is chaos. a gun has just gone off

I’m sorry. salt...peter? saltpeter? did someone shoot off a Ye Olde Civil War Musket? I know fuckall about firearms and even I know they phased that shit out in the fucking 1880s.

and while we’re here, fun trivia fact about saltpeter: in Olden Times, people would ingest saltpeter in order to nuke their sex drives. silly Olden Times! if it’s a bonerkiller you’re after, all you have to do is read this fic!

ok, back to the alley. security are cordoning it off, keeping the “fucking jackal” paparazzi at bay (already?)

the LAPD are arriving (already??)

but perhaps most interestingly,

real quick before we get into whose body it is, why we’re sexually objectifying it, and what it’s oozing, I just wanna draw your attention to the construction of that sentence. the artistry, if you will. below, I have replaced some of the nouns so that we may all appreciate the sheer poetry of the syntax:

“there’s a fucking meatball lying prone on the floor, all covered with cheese, a dark cloud oozing under the meatball.”

sitting a few feet away from the Skirt & Heels Body™ is Jasper, cradling the unconscious Bella. you could be forgiven for thinking that first body (you know, the oozing one) was Bella’s, because that’s what the narration wants you to think. the effect is somehow both enhanced and ruined by the fact that Bella’s actual body is mentioned in the next sentence. erika really tried to have her suspense cake and eat it too, with the result that by the time I finished reading this paragraph, I had absolutely no idea how many bodies there were or who they belonged to, which ones had on a skirt and heels, which ones were oozing, and where.

another excerpt I should probably share is the paragraph where we describe Edward reacting to this tragic pietà.

here’s our text, raw and unedited:

I can’t even begin to list all the ways this paragraph makes me uncomfortable, so I won’t attempt to.

anyway. remember how in the last chapter, there was an incredibly gay bit where Edward looked into Emmett’s dark, burning eyes? fasten your seatbelts because we’re about to blow that bit out of the water.

ｌｕｍｉｎｏｕｓｈａｚｅｌｅｙｅｓ

filled with

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒

the next sentence tries to take us back into heterosexual territory with

are we meant to understand that Jasper’s luminous hazel eyes are saying “don’t you just wish it was you getting to cradle Bella’s unconscious, injured body?” yes, that is exactly what we’re meant to understand. this attitude continues as Bella is loaded into an ambulance. at first, Jasper tries to stop Edward from coming, then the paramedic says they can both come but only if they sit on opposite sides of the ambulance like kindergarteners in Time Out.

l o n g i n g l y

the paramedics also checked the other body (you know, the oozing skirt and heels body) and Edward made a startling observation:

though oozing, the mystery person is still alive, and a second ambulance hauls off

and here I was thinking all this story needed to make it complete was some veiled transphobia! what a fun new direction for erika.

once at the hospital, Ed is banished to the waiting room with Emmett, Jasper, and Taylor. the doctors won’t let him see Bella, even when he tells them he’s her fiancé.

hmm. is it just me or is there a movie about this exact scenario?

yep, there are at least two movies about this exact scenario.

after the “fiancé” thing, Edward picks up on some bad vibes from Jasper

interesting. can you feel MY animosity hit you like a brick fucking wall? I guess it’s more of a brick fucking skyscraper at this point.

things we learn at the hospital:

Bella was roofied! so if you voted “poisoned” in the poll, I’m gonna give you this one. congrats on your victory.

Bella is fine now

Jasper shot the mysterious kidnapper in the chest.

that’s right, Jasper is the cause of all the oozing. well done, Jasper. good luminous hazel eye.

finally, Bella wakes up and asks to see Edward. He goes back to see her

and

she

dumps his ass.

not for any Sane People reasons, of course. having decided she’s “too dangerous to be around,” she breaks up with him in a scene straight out of New Moon, complete with “eyes full of tortured pain” and dialogue like

“You are too precious to me. Please. Go.”

Edward spends the whole scene in panicked denial, to the point where he’s practically gaslighting Bella, telling her she’s just been through a traumatic ordeal and she can’t possibly mean what she’s saying.

then he interrupts her mid-breakup

to fucking propose.

🤣🤣🤣 READ THE ROOM, BUDDY. Bella is resolute for the first time in her doormat life, turns down the proposal, and firmly breaks things off with Edward. he returns her earring (you remember, the six thousand dollar earring we paused in the middle of the climactic chase scene to pick up), “inhales her fragrant hair for the last time,” and leaves.

and with that, the chapter is FINALLY over.

possibility.mp3

best “fucks”

“level fucking head”

“a fucking microsecond”

“fucking sirens”

“loud fucking noises”

“enough fucking damage”

“a soothing fucking balm”

“fucking Hale”

“fucking purgatory” (the hospital waiting room)

“pale as fuck” (bella)

“fucking lifeless” (bella)

“non-believing fucking arse” (edward)

“like a fucking idiot” (edward)

best “shits”

next chapter: fucking blinds and curtains

#spork haven #twilight fanfiction #twilight revival #anti e.l. james #long post //#transphobia //#drugs //#guns //#injury //#blood //

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Note

The opposite of your last post for the ask meme! Like 1, 5, 9..

thank you lol sorry it took me a minute to get to posting these answers......i also skipped a couple that got asked previously via answering all primes lol

1: What inspires you?

hm well just basic stuff like “being in a good mood” lol or “being hyped up by friends” or “having reason to be particularly excited about something” which is all like, factors that Contribute Energy......learning about stuff / trying something and discovering like oh i’m Into this thing, or that for whatever reason something turns out to be more within reach / doable than i might’ve thought, like, hey i wanna get on this maybe.......~creatively~ it’s great to like, see other ppl’s art, and while i’ve sure been Inspired by professional artists, overall i’m more like, influenced and motivated by seeing the styles / specific works of Online Randos like me.......i also Draw to create [self-indulgent (usually fairly) niche fanart which is also probably gay and is all the time of characters i like] so like, the Stuff I Wanna Make Fanart Of (which has Whatever characters i specifically would like to draw lol) is sure directly Inspiring in that way. i’d say i never had that experience of like, ppl being kids and seeing some [distributed work in a certain art medium] like oh i want to make my own [distributed work in a certain art medium] as in like, i wanna publish a book, i wanna make movies, etc, but i guess i Did b/c i was like elementary school age in the early-to-mid 00s and experienced some instances of online fanart like :o :o wow damn ppl can do that?? just be a rando drawing fanart and sharing it w/ other people online???? and today i am living that dream, so good for me lol. and also i’d like to shoutout marge simpson anime, which is a particular piece of Online Art (technically fanart even lol) which was like, unusually Motivating as a single work of art lol, i made a notes app fanart like immediately and then a way more “painterly” piece of fanart that was v directly inspired by it lol.......and i was sure Drawing It Up last last winter when bmc 3.0 was impending / happening, b/c i got into like Just in the dec before, so that was Fresh, and then bam the Content is happening concurrently and as soon as we even just learned that jeremy has glasses i immediately spent like honestly 25 consecutive hours making fanart for that exact Inspiration. we didn’t even know abt the hello kitty shoes yet!!! and naturally im not out here for stats or clout but it is Inspiring when ppl enjoy the stuff i make and let me know one way or another. [tag comments that express enthusiasm in any way.....Appreciated]

9: Do you trust people easily, or do people have to earn your trust?

i have to say i am wary! that’s in part just like, a default anxiety defensive mode lol. but it takes me a hot minute (aka weeks....or months.....) to realize when someone like, would like to be friends or something, so while i can be Friendly and Outgoing w/ people like, immediately, i’m not picking up relationships left and right that are close enough that i’d particularly talk about “trust” or whatever. i’m not necessarily Distrustful either lol, it’s more just like, again re: the constant wariness thing. it is not unlike a cat lmao i vibe with them lol i Get that [approach]....and there’s been times i’ve been like “hmm i sure do Not vibe with this person ever and am not comfortable around them / interacting with them to any extent beyond occasional casual interactions that i don’t super enjoy. that’s me being overly anxious and failing to be personable i guess!!” and then that person Does give that reason down the line like oh, actually, that eternal uneasiness was warranted :/ damb

21: How does someone become friends with you?

yknow i was like “didn’t i Also answer this one previously” but it turned out the question i was thinking of, which i Had answered, was “how does someone become important to you” lmao.....same diff

tbh it’s kind of an arduous process lmao like. first of all i am Bad about initiating shit, and a lot of times will like, be wary of Directly Interacting with people for a while b/c i am also Bad At not being too passive / unwilling to assert anything so like, if someone’s regularly interacting with me but i’m not into it / Eventually Realize i’m not into it, it’s that thing again where my main strat is [v gradually sidle away] lol and just find it difficult to extricate myself from interactions / relationships and so that plays into me really feeling like i have to have some real confidence that i’d get on with / vibe with someone Before i start significantly interacting with / getting involved with them which....is also difficult natch lol like. can’t rly get a great feel for what someone’s like w/o talking to them.......but then if i Distance myself at all at any point will that be taken as rejection or whatever.......and then anyways say i Am talking to someone, then it’s like, also i’m just not fantastic at casual conversation always and that stage where you don’t know someone too well and talking is mostly a Polite Ritual and it’s like oh god don’t mess up, respond Normally lmaoo......i am nervous. and i also have a tendency to just naturally try to make an interaction go smoothly than immediately prioritize / feel comfortable busting out My Personality lmao.....so then even if ppl are responding well enough it’s like ah jeez i know we’re all performing always but have i shown them What I’m Actually Like to any significant degree, am i just masking it up / mirroring the crap out of how they talk?? and also it then takes me quite a while to put together “if someone keeps talking to you / choosing to interact with you for like, weeks, it probably means they want to / are interested in doing so” lol.........and then i’ll take ages more of trying to consciously Be More Myself without *also* feeling like this is too much of an act lol, and gradually picking up like oh they’re still not like, annoyed or disinterested or something..............what i am trying to say is it sure takes a minute lol

also when i Am attempting sometimes to like [initiate interaction] with people my version of being Active is still not all that active lmao i will be like [occasional Like] or [even more occasional reply] or [tag comments or no comments coz it’s twitter and im rt-ing stuff] and it’s like oh wow if we’re not having more regular interaction i suppose i’ve failed or something?? does this mean anything further lol, did i do anything.....but welp gotta have that perspective that Not Necessarily lol and i’m not the only person in the world who might not make friends or even friendly acquaintances easily / at the drop of a hat and u can’t necessarily read way into shit that hasn’t Actually been communicated to you.......naturally though it is easier to have some ~perspective~ and Serenity about all this sort of thing when you do already have some Friends lmao........been feeling (and consciously nudging myself towards feeling) More Chill about say like, friendly acquaintances i have who aren’t raring to interact with me on the reg.......ppl i’ll go months or half a year or more between having a convo with and then we’ll be like trading dm’s for a couple days and then it’s back to not really talking, and that Is What It Is, not necessarily a tragedy, and really it feels “rude” to acknowledge to myself like oh i’m not sure that me and whomever even Vibe well enough that *i’d* be raring to talk all the time either, but hey, it’s also true, i don’t have to be Validated by ppl who know me having me in their friend circles in any significant way......i be out here on the peripheral / outer orbits and i can appreciate that for what it is, even if, again, easier to be more Cool with that when i’m not Only in ppl’s periphery...........i appreciate the pal i have who like, 99% of how we Communicate is occasionally sending each other pics of our cats, not very intimate but also back when i was offline for months on end they eventually went out of their way to find someone to get in touch with to verify i hadn’t like died or anything lol........i appreciate the Gestures of Caring that ppl have and do extend, even if we do not actually talk regularly.

and like also i’m bad at like. idk the main way i talk is again, At Some Length and often about real specific shit lol so im like woop aware that many ppl are not into that, or they might be down for having an exchange like that for a day and then they’re done.........not at all like wholly Against more lol Conversational conversations but i gotta say that’s more of a struggle lmao..........so let’s say befriending me takes some Patience. i kinda operate on [cat] rules. jellicle

25: How do you stop yourself from going back to toxic people?

i absolutely am Refraining from launching off on a ted talk of a tangent that is also me being the [the guy about to throw down a card on the pile on the table and that card pile is like “any conversation” and the guy is labeled “me” and the One Card about to be played is labeled “it’s capitalism” or smthing like that and also it’s all in spanish].jpg.......

anyways idk just try to keep things in perspective, right......i generally am pretty Passive about gradually sidling away from relationships that are bad and so by the time i Have exited them it’s pretty overdue lmao and i get to be quite confident that it was The Right Thing........and just when looking back on stuff it’s like, well if you remember the Good or “Not That Bad(tm)” parts maybe consciously think about the whole of it And specifically the Bad parts / the reasons for peacing out.......also the other day i was mulling over some standard [conflicted / complicated feelings about having cut certain ppl out entirely] and it also occurred to me that a lot of the [conflicted] feeling part came from sympathy for them, whereas from the perspective of Entirely My Own Feelings On The Matter minus that “how do/would they feel about it” consideration, the thought of never interacting w/ these ppl is like. fine with me lol........stuff like this is always Complicated and Individual and there’s certainly no like, one-stop simple Guide To Navigating All This Kind Of Thing, Cmon It’s Easy........another consideration i saw the other day via a graphic on twitter, which is probably most relevant re: say, controlling / abusive Partners, was how like, to think about how someone is acting if they’re saying you should Take Them Back b/c they’ve Changed their behavior, but to pay attention to if they’re trying to guilt you into it / justifying or downplaying their previous behavior / shifting blame and otherwise manifesting the inherently harmful and controlling patterns that are supposed to be gone now........anyways yeah complicated stuff and also just p.s. (and what would’ve been the jumping off point for the It’s-Capitalism tangential essay lol) ppl shouldn’t be blamed if they do choose to let someone back in their life like oh now they’re responsible for bringing their mistreatment upon themself.....no better than blaming someone for, say, having a harmful / controlling romantic partner in the first place like oh well they should’ve known better than to have gotten involved with this person..........ppl are in control of their own abusive behavior and shouldn’t be considered Forces Of Nature no matter how intransigent they are

33: Do you have someone you know you can always rely on?

tbt question 9 lol there’s defo some people that i do trust! love it....

45: Do you consider yourself creative?

another #tbt to question 1 lol.......i mean Yes i am creative in ways but like, who Isn’t, really.......think sometimes “creativity” means “do you like, do Art things” which, yes i do, but then within that there’s art that’s deemed more ~creative~ or w/e......not to mention that i don’t think something has to be definitively labeled an Art to be creative. like, for example, Science and Art aren’t opposites / the antithesis of each other, and anytime defines ~science~ as like, people just memorizing and outputting Facts and Numbers and considers this a distinction from Being An Artist.....wild and i Will fight you lmao. i tell you i can v much remember times i have had to completely disengage to keep from losing my cool at people arguing about “why i respect science but could only be an artist :’|” or “why Art is actually harder than Science and also we’re the underdogs b/c society values science so much more :’|” like.....mf...........anyways scientific pursuits may certainly have a different Methodology (see: scientific method) than art but lbr it still requires creativity and science and art are friends you fucking fools................and then also just zooming in on the Art-Making business here, i also like, have never had any interest in coming up with Original stories / characters and the like, and i don’t enjoy trying and it just really is not my thing, and it’s Funny or something when people wanna say that creative fanworks have value b/c they let ppl cut their teeth for what really matters, inevitably making their own original content(tm)......that isn’t inevitable for me lol and certainly is nothing i aim to do ever, and when there’s the suggestion that if you’re Good enough at ur medium you gotta manifest some of that original the character do not steal shit.........anyways i’m not pressed to claim i am an Artist(tm) or Creative(tm) lol like i guess technically i am both but i have no professional aspirations and my brain does not Do [generate original content] so it’s all like, i’m just out here.........s/o to this time i was trying to do my fuckin thing drawing on a tablet in a cafe and some random annoying guy is trying to talk and i happen to mention like “lol i don’t exactly call myself an artist really” and Guy goes “OH REALLY??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ARTISTS? WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE WITH ART” like please cool it lmao but god p sure it was a guy who was just. very Around and very annoying in general

49: Do you feel like you’re a good person?

yeah i think i’m alright but really what is the use in like considering there 2 be achievable Good or Bad Person Statuses for everyone........let’s say it’s an ongoing, active state to be in the process of consciously choosing to be Good and working towards Better. especially considering that We Live In A Society which tries to teach everyone and continuously imbues our existence with Bad Messages about how to perceive and engage with other people, and being A Good Person is a lifelong effort and it’s unhelpful to feel that if you’re already Good or well-intentioned enough you can just dust off your hands and be like “well my work here is done” and be unprepared to examine your beliefs/actions or deal with the might-as-well-assume-it’s-an-inevitability that even if u have some noble-ass beliefs you’ll fail to live up to them at some point/s.......so like yeah lol again i feel like i am a pretty good person but can always be better and ought to be aware of / willing to work on that at any point

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