#(yes i have had friends flirt with me.. sometimes VERY explicitly. you know who you are if you read this. but
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How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall
I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.
There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.
Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived.
To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun.
Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for.
C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later.
Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao.
I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was.
Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics.
She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread.
The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing.
Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned.
C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves.
C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too.
I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at.
#malicious musings#stacey's adventures in fandom drama#lol#honestly it was such a fucking wild time#if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them#god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on#but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done
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Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?
Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi
Thank you so much for this statement😭
I feel seen and heard🤧
Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭
The disrespect! How dare they!
In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.
No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭
But also don't stop
From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.
So thank you for this. I literally cried.
Feel so good to hear someone say that.
I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.
People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.
But he's gay? 🤔
You believe Suga is gay??
Damn.
He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???
A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.
Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...
If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.
I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.
I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.
I love 'People' so much...
I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:
'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'
It's weird. Fanservice is weird.
My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.
I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏
Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.
Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.
He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?
Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.
To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.
I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.
He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.
That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.
More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.
I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.
Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.
Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.
But that's as far as I can go on the topic.
I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.
Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....
And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??
'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'
Lolololololololol
I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.
'I'M NOT GAY'
This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.
Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.
Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.
But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.
One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.
They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.
They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.
To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.
And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...
JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.
He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.
You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.
He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...
Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.
He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.
Suga's is different.
He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.
Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.
If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀
Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃
Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??
I wouldn't.
A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.
I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.
I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.
But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.
I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.
Thanks for the ask.
Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.
I don't like when I have to watch what I say.
Sigh.
Signed,
GOLDY
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the sex party: i
(r18+)
shinsou hitoshi x reader
ao3
part 1 (you’re here!) || part 2
word count: ~7.1k
You and Hitoshi definitely have a thing for each other, but who would've thought that a 'sex party' would produce a confession?
warnings:
COLLEGE AU! characters are explicitly aged up to college students as early 20 year olds!
not really a sex party, mutual pining, friends to lovers, confessions, reader is canonically bi, brief momo x reader, light dom/sub, spanking, references to drug use, smoking (cigarettes, salem trademarked fic thing), drinking, and smut
there is a scene where there is attempted sexual assault. it is marked with ***** before and after.
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this.... this piece is a monster. i’ve been wrestling with it for a month and now its here for y’all. the second part is already out ;^)) thank you to @keiqos for being an absolute king and beta reader this monster. enjoy y’all!!
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You never imagined that you would be where you were. It was under weird circumstances, but god if you weren’t going to try and enjoy it.
The party you found yourself attending was lit with flashing lights and rainbow projections. There were two different DJs on various floors of the suburban mansion. They bumped out remixed club music, making the walls hum and thrum and bodies writhe and sweat. One of the kitchen counters was loaded with bottles and bottles of hard liquor and mixers.
You were quickly making a third mixie. Just a vodka soda, boringly. There were certainly more fun options, but you weren’t exactly sure how to feel about this party just yet. You were having trouble discerning whether this was a ‘gin and tonic millennial’ party or a ‘jungle juice in an old cooler’ party.
Denki and Jiro had convinced nearly two car-fulls of your friends to roll up. It sounded so fun, so wild!
“Yo! Our friends from the EDM scene are throwing a SEX party! You all should come! It’s at a mansion across town!”
Their ‘friends’ were two middle-aged, white hippies who did a lot of molly for their age.
Nonetheless, you found yourself in a massive, odd house and managed to lose your friends fairly quickly (and accidentally). All the rooms stayed dimly lit and loud. You could hardly keep track of your own two feet.
Someone pressed you into the counter, a hand grazing against your barely covered ass.
You whipped around, watching as a couple walked away, one of them giving incredibly loud bedroom eyes.
Oh yeah, the ‘sex party’ part.
It wasn’t a kink party, or really a sex party at all. Sex was encouraged and provided for, but not necessary. The mansion’s massive attic was where most of the sex acts were happening with its five beds, three bondage rigs, a wall of toys of all types, condoms, lube, whippits, and even Viagra in decorative bowls. You had yet to venture up, but Denki had already spammed the group chat about it.
(It had been the first place he went upon arriving.)
You took your drink down the stairs (the place had three fucking basements) and turned into a small hallway that led outside.
It was cold, but your somewhat drunk body hardly minded. The sobering bite of wind gave a nice reprieve from the thrumming heat inside.
You immediately spotted Hitoshi leaning on a retaining wall, half a cigarette hanging from his lips. His face lit up, when he saw you, waving you over.
You smiled back at him, glad to find a friend and best of all Hitoshi.
You two were quite close.
In addition to both being sociology majors and having a lot of overlap when it came to classes, you’d known each other since freshman year and only grew closer with time. You’d spent many nights at his house off-campus, sipping cup after cup of black coffee in the midst of a paper writing and studying. You also definitely didn’t ever have close calls of affection though, no.
No.
Never.
You and Hitoshi were obviously just friends.
...
“Wild party, huh?” Hitoshi quirked an eyebrow, nodding to the house. He offered you a cigarette that you took greedily.
You placed it between your lips, Hitoshi ever so casually leaning forward to light it with his signature clipper. He’d nabbed it off some ‘milf’ at the casino which he and Denki had gone to for bingo ‘for the meme’ freshmen year.
You let out a puff, “Thank you! And yes, very wild. I’m on drink three and I still feel overwhelmed.”
Hitoshi sipped his own, nodding in agreement, “I know Jiro and Denki know some wild people from the scene, but this seems over the top.”
“It is kind of fun? But definitely an ‘I need to be a little more fucked up’ kind of fun,” You remarked.
You set down your cigarette on the cement wall, attempting to boost yourself up onto it. You nearly had it, except you really didn’t and slipped back down. You anxiously turned around, checking your dress over for any sort of tears.
Hitoshi set down his own cigarette, standing in front of you. You looked up at him and felt very small and very horny all of a sudden. It certainly wasn’t an abnormal set of feelings, given how the two of you teased each other relentlessly.
“Need some help there?” He chuckled at your struggle as you frowned up at him.
“If you insist.” You expected him to offer a hand to stabilize yourself on but no, Hitoshi’s big hands were suddenly grabbing at your waist, lifting you on the walls with little effort.
You swore you almost felt him squeeze you before letting go.
“You’re welcome,” Hitoshi just smirked as he returned to his spot, taking a deep drag to look at you through lowered lids.
You glared, but in good fun.
At that moment, a few other of your friends poured from the door to the patio. They were all shouting, jarring and drunk, and very happy to see the two of you.
You unconsciously shifted a bit closer to Hitoshi on the wall, bare leg just barely touching his shoulder.
You didn’t notice it, but Hitoshi definitely leaned into you too.
“(Y/N)! Hitoshi!” Momo addressed you firmly as Denki and Hanta snickered behind her. “You both are smarter than to smoke, aren’t you?”
“Nope,” You popped the word from your mouth to take another drag.
“We’re drunk, give it a rest,” Hitoshi waved his hand dismissively. You were both her friends, but she did have a pole up her ass sometimes.
Almost to emphasize the point, Jiro withdrew her own pack and started offering to other people.
As the ever-important smoking ritual continued, you couldn’t help but shiver from the now-painful gusts of wind. You abruptly hopped off of the wall, only wobbling a little on your heels as you hit the ground. Hitoshi moved to steady you, a firm hand on your shoulder.
(God, you wanted to melt into him.)
See, Hitoshi had been smart enough to wear a warm outfit. A pair of black jeans, a form-fitting, well-cut sweater, and a jacket which was slung over his arm.
He offered it to you, eyebrow raised, “If you’re cold, you’re welcome to this. I’m gonna stash it when I get inside anyways.”
You shook your head, pushing back on his arm, feeling the hard muscle beneath. You almost shivered. “No, no it’s okay. I’m gonna head back in.”
“Mind if I tag along then?” Hitoshi asked, eyes scanning around you. He seemed well aware that there were some creeps at this party.
Most of the time, you wouldn’t feel great about needing some tall, beefy dude to casually stand around as a deterrent. But, honestly? You appreciated it immensely.
“Right this way, smokestack,” You just had to give him shit, it was part of your cute dynamic right?
(It made the incessant flirting easier to hide.)
...
You couldn’t help but continually notice how Hitoshi had bulked up. He had been hitting the gym a lot and working on himself physically.
God, did it show.
His body had been a bit lanky and wiry before, but he’d filled out so well. With his cute sweater on, you could see how the fabric stretched tight around his biceps and his chest. You couldn’t look at his forearms in any setting or risk drooling all over yourself.
Not that you would mind drooling for Hitoshi, but you’d prefer it to be in a different context.
(But, you’d never admit that.)
The two of you wordlessly winded through the house, finding a somewhat less feral living room in one of the basements to relax in. Most everyone occupying the space was just mingling, save for a few couples making out. It seemed manageable. You settled for a spot on the carpet against a wall.
Hitoshi raised an eyebrow, “Really?”
“I feel way safer sitting on a floor than a couch here,” You couldn’t help smiling when you saw him snuff out his own amusement.
You both watched as a couple was grinding and audibly moaning on one of the aforementioned couches. Hitoshi relented, “Point taken.”
He slid down the wall next to you, shoulder to shoulder, drinks in hand.
You both sat in silence for a minute, just taking the sounds and sights of the party. People-watching could have been an olympic sport at this shindig.
“Hey,” Hitoshi broke the mild tension, tapping your upper thigh over your dress. “I’m not saying this to be a creep, really, I promise. But, I really like your dress.”
You turned your body slightly, towards him. Oh, now you needed to give him shit— “Oh, how complementary. Not creepy at all. Just my very sweet, male friend telling me how I look pretty in my party dress.”
Hitoshi leaned closer to you, mirroring you by lying half on his side. His breath and heat curled over your face and neck, “Oh, (Y/N), now you’re putting words in my mouth. I said that I like your dress. Because it’s one of Mei’s designs, right?”
You looked down, heat filling your cheeks.
Fuck your drunk mouth.
“Though,” Oh, Hitoshi was closer. He had leaned to your ear, steadying a hand on your shoulder. “I do think you’re pretty in this dress. I’d use a different word instead of pretty though.”
“Like?”
“Mmmm, gorgeous,” He hummed too casually. “As strong of a word as I can use without being a creep, right?”
“‘Toshi,” You groan, swatting his hand away. “You’re a bastard, you know that?”
He just beamed at you, “I’ve been told.”
Hitoshi drew back and met your eyes.
Once more, you mirrored each other. Both of you bore comically dilated pupils, wet lips, flushed faces and slight tremors in your hands.
“You know, I think I referred to you as ‘sweet’ too...” You raised an eyebrow at him. You couldn’t help the way your gaze flickered down to his lips. It flitted back up, “But, that’s nothing, right?”
Hitoshi bit his lip, taking a big breath.
Suddenly, he was standing up.
“Hey, wait—” You stammered, standing as well. “I’m sorry, that was a lot. I only meant to tease.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Hitoshi put his hands in front of himself, creating distance between the two of you. “Same. You know I can’t help giving you trouble, (Y/N).”
Ouch.
You cracked a smile, rubbing your arms, “Of course, yeah. Silly friend shit.”
Hitoshi was quick to redirect, pointing a thumb out of the room, “I’ve gotta hang this somewhere. See you in a bit, or you can come with me if you like?”
“Nah, I’ll wander,” You patted his shoulder, waltzing off your churning gut by cutting in front of him. “Take it easy, smokestack.”
You couldn’t hear if he replied.
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You did, in fact, wander. With meandering feet, you moved through room after room. You poured yourself another drink, but it’s not nearly as strong. Your run-in with Hitoshi soured your mood. While not fully ruined, you were definitely feeling weirder than you wanted to be.
Hitoshi and you obviously had energy, yeah. But the most either of you had acted on it was ‘seemingly meaningless’ flirting. It was always followed up with a ‘no homo’ or ‘aha, got ‘ya!’, yet it always felt real in the moment. You weren’t a dumbass. You had caught Hitoshi eyeing you a few (read: many) different times. There were so many close calls and contacts between the two of you.
There was one time while you were making a box of mac and cheese in Hitoshi’s kitchen circa 2 AM. You had borrowed one of his shirts and a pair of joggers to sleep in, a common act of yours. He walked past you for a glass of water, keeping the cup under the tap until it ran over just to look you up and down.
His gaze wasn’t prying or predatory, not even close. You trusted Hitoshi with your life and you knew that he wouldn’t ever breach boundaries like that. Rather, he regarded you in a way that made him lose time, something soft and gooey in his eyes. That time, it wasn’t lustful attention. It just felt-
(Like the way lovers look at one and other, enamored.)
Another time was during one of his performances. The house venue had been dimly lit and musty as fuck, but that didn’t distract Hitoshi. As Jiro’s vocals shook the basement, you met eyes with Hitoshi as he slammed on guitar. His gaze always returned to you throughout the whole set. When you had teased him about it, he claimed that looking at you helped keep his stage fright in check.
The reasoning didn’t calm the butterflies in your stomach.
There was another particularly telling occurrence where you had fallen asleep on Hitoshi’s floor in the middle of working on your final paper for your theory class the semester prior. He returned from his smoke break to find you curled up under the first piece of cloth you could find (which, in that case, was one of his hoodies). You weren’t fully asleep, and you certainly weren’t when Hitoshi hefted you into his arms, laying you so gently down on his bed and covering you with a throw blanket.
Oh, god, the sweetness, like something you’d never known when you felt his hand on your face, smoothing over your cheekbones, your nose, and then your lips. His gentle voice, deep with the late-night, “You work too hard, you know.”
He nestled next on the floor next to the bed, leaving you to sleep undisturbed the rest of the night.
There were, of course, many more instances of Hitoshi’s way-too-kind kindness, and a pile of your own moments as well.
It was all damning, but relatively ignored. Your friendship was more important than any stupid feelings the two of you had right? You refused to acknowledge your own feelings beyond semi-sexual remarks, jabs, and jests. You couldn’t jeopardize your friendship, right?
...
You eventually found yourself at the foot of the stairs that led to the attic. Even from the landing, you could hear various rhythmic slaps, moans, and laughter.
You ascended the stairs and took in the sight greeting you.
There were various bondage rigs that were free-standing, all occupied at the moment you entered. Loops for ropes and chains to be tied to drilled into the ceiling. Flogs, whips, canes, and other implements hung heavy on one of the walls.
The room was lit dimly, yet nothing seemed obscured. A few rainbow lights illuminated the sweaty bodies about the room. Not everyone was having full-on sex. Most people were actually clothed. A lot of folks it seemed were just there spectating.
Speaking of most people, your party peers were all lounging on the beds. Sans, Hitoshi, of course, standing and laughing with Kaminari.
The lot saw you enter and flagged you down. You walked past a heavily-tattooed man getting pegged by a woman in a tutu and a crowd of costumed partygoers doing whippits which were being handed out by a man in an elaborate steampunk top hat. A cute girl with silver hair was strung up in a nearby rig, moaning as a leather-clad man fingerfucked her.
You stood next to Hitoshi, bumping into his arm with your own, “Didn’t take you for a voyeur.”
He snorted, joshing you back, “I have my moments.”
“I didn’t take you for a prude, (Y/N)!” Denki snickered, bringing attention to you. “You looked like you’d seen a ghost when you walked in here.”
“Denki, please,” You rolled your eyes. “I walked into a room made for very wild sex acts. That’s a very different expression than the one you’re describing.”
That made him snort and fall back onto the bed, along with Hanta and Mina.
(How high were they? That wasn’t even a good joke.)
Hitoshi chuckled himself, something low and lumbering.
(Don’t think about how hot that is.)
“This makes me think back to that night, in sophomore year,” Hanta spoke as he sat up. “You know, kink night.”
“Oh, yeah! I forget about that,” Denki turned towards you and Hitoshi and raised his eyebrows.
You flushed.
Momo, innocently, asked, “Kink night?”
Hitoshi cleared his throat, looking anywhere but you.
“Oh yeah!” Mina piped up, hugging Momo’s shoulders from behind. Jiro was sitting in Momo’s lap, head on her tits. “We made a drinking game of exposing our weird sex acts and kinks to each other.”
You laughed uncomfortably at the memory, avoiding the very embarrassing and horny part that involved you, “That was the day that we found Mineta was into scat.”
“Oh wow,” Jiro gawked. “That was before Mineta got canceled?”
“Oh, yeah. He got wasted and ran off after that. Thank god.” Denki snickered. “You know what else happened that night?”
“Denki, please, stop talking.” It was Hitoshi placing a firm hand on the other’s shoulder.
Denki just looked at the two of you like he was some old god of mischievous, turning back to the girls, “That’s when we all found out about Hitoshi and (Y/N)’s suuuuuuuuuper compatible kinks. Like, scary compatible.”
“They got sooooo awkward about it too!” Mina snickered, looking at your and Hitoshi with matchmaker in her eyes.
You would kick her ass for it later. In that moment, you tried to keep a somewhat neutral expression as you recalled the night in question.
Sure, it was a year or two back and you and Hitoshi weren’t half as close back then.
The lot of you had been sitting on the floor of Denki and Hitoshi’s dorm, passing around a bottle of cheap, flavored vodka in a fucked up, horny game of truth or dare.
...
“You’re next (Y/N)!” Mina passed the bottle to you and fell back against the carpet. You swallowed thickly, swishing the content liquor inside. “Dare or sex act?”
The rules of the game were simple. Choosing ‘dare’ meant that someone else chose a sexually-charged dare for you and ‘sex act’ meant exposing either a kink or a sex act you’d done. It was a roulette either way, but one option gave you far more control than the other.
After the last dare consisting of Denki giving a very messy lap dance to Eijiro, and you weren’t really in the mindset to repeat anything even close to that.
“Sex act,” You sighed in defeat.
Denki snickered in the corner, “Spill it!”
Hanta cheered you on as you bit your lip in thought.
The liquor swirling in your stomach was affecting your inhibitions, and with one shy, half-glance to Hitoshi, you spoke up.
“I have a spanking kink, what of it.”
You drowned out Hitoshi’s red cheeks and the cheers of your friends with a deep chug from the bottle.
The bottle was passed to Hitoshi as you asked the question, “Dare or sex act?”
Jiro giggled from the bed, sipping at her own drink as well.
“Sex act,” Hitoshi groaned, rolling his eyes at Denki, but you all knew he loved what was going on.
“Reveal yourself, Hitoshi! What gets your rocks off!?” Mina shouted drunkenly as she rolled on the floor. You made a mental note to cut her off from having any more of the trashy vodka.
Hitoshi gave you a fleeting, but very horny look before regarding the group.
There was a twitch in your lip that made you think his smirk was all for you.
“I love pulling a cute girl over my lap and turning her ass purple while she’s begging for more.”
As everyone around you jeered and cheered, you gulped.
And so did Hitoshi.
...
“Yeah!” Hanta fell back. “That was so fucking funny. Like, all night it was all (Y/N) being like ‘I’m a filthy masochist!’ and Hitoshi being like ‘I’m a filthy sadist!’”
“Hanta, for the love of god,” You interrupted him, face burning with a fucked up mix of shame and lust. Hitoshi was mirroring you. “Why do you have to bring that up?”
“Oh, dude, because whenever we talk about it, you and Hitoshi get so embarrassed, it’s hilarious!” Hanta fucking giggled and reached for his drink.
“Are we gonna talk about how you and Denki both like fisting—” You give them a taste of their own medicine, watching the two of them choke and gawk. To the side, Momo whispered to Jiro, eyeing you.
Hitoshi barked out a laugh, losing some tension in his shoulders. You met his eye for a moment, only to see the jewelish purple taken up by his blackened pupils.
Fuck.
Momo spoke up, brow furrowed, “Can I request something a bit odd of you, (Y/N)? It’s perfectly okay if you say no.”
“Shoot,” You reply, sipping your beverage.
Momo bit her lip, eyes going to Jiro, then you, “Can I try spanking you?”
Everyone collectively choked. You especially.
You took another nervous sip of your drink, avoiding eye contact with the group.
You regained composure, refusing to look at Hitoshi, but letting the fucked up idea brew and brew in your mind, “Uh, I mean, is Jiro okay with it?”
“Oh yeah, totally,” Jiro nodded, kissing her girlfriend’s jaw. “Pain isn't my thing, at all, and she’s always wanted to try it. And hey, if you’re a ‘filthy masochist’, be my guest.”
But, would you be her guest?
Your drunken mind considered.
It was the most acceptable setting for it to happen in public. You really did like getting spanked and were a raging masochist, so it would, at the very least, be fun for you. A little humiliating, but that was also a turn on. You’d also get to indulge Momo, who was dating Jiro, but they both seemed perfectly okay with a bit of platonic pain play, so what was the real harm?
Your gaze flickered to Hitoshi.
Oh, fuck.
His face was lit up with a deep blush even in the irisian hues of the sex attic. His eyes were pointed distinctively opposite of you, a hand literally over his mouth as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Your mind lit up with ideas.
Terrible, sinful ideas that you would be the peak of you and Hitoshi’s teasing.
Fuck it.
“Sure, I’m down,” You smirked and Momo lit up. Immediately, she was up and scouting out the area for a spot to go to town. Momo even seemed to be eyeing up a wall of toys.
“Hey,” Jiro whispered to you as you truly realized what you got yourself into. “Thanks for this. She’s really into this kind of stuff, and I like indulging her, but I can’t handle too much.”
“Oh, of course!” You spoke so brightly. “I have a high pain tolerance, so I’m sure I can take what she dishes out, too.”
You heard Hitoshi clear his throat behind you.
You let yourself take another glance at Hitoshi and it made you want to die on the spot. His eyes glared in anger with the sinful intensity that was entirely directed at you. You could tell by the awkward way he was leaning that he was trying to hide the bulge in his jeans.
Is... Is he that turned on by just the thought of me getting spanked?
Oh, this truly was your best teasing yet.
(Were you taking this too far?)
Kaminari was gripping the sleeve of Hitoshi’s sweater, not allowing him to leave. Judging by how the latter was looking and staring, he wasn’t going to either way.
Momo walked back over, tugging you by the hair to a bed that was a lot higher than the others. It was the perfect height for you to bend over.
“What’s your safeword?” She asked, running her hand down your back to push you against the comforter like she’d done this hundreds of times before. Your chest fell against the bed, forearms giving you a bit of leverage.
You hummed, “Just ‘red’ should be good.”
“Perfect,” Momo smiled before pressing the back of your neck, forcing your face into the sheets. “I’m gonna give you ten with my hand, okay?”
“I trust you, Momo, do your worst,” You spoke so confidently, but truly you didn’t know what was coming.
Momo smoothed a hand over your ass, hardly covered due to the angle you were bent over. The pretty fabric of your dress, pulled over your curves, was hiding less and less. Momo hummed, running a firm hand down the zipper of the dress, “Do you have a preference as to if I pull your dress up or not?”
Oh, holy fuck.
That was beyond teasing.
Fuck it.
“You can pull it up, but keep my panties on. I need some dignity,” You winked back at her.
Momo blushed. She delicately pulled the fabric back, resulting in a round of wolf whistles from your friend. Sober you was going to hate the fact you did this, but drunk you? Thriving.
(Though you wished it was Hitoshi delivering, but you digress.)
Without warning, Momo brought her hand down on your ass, a loud smack resounding around the room, causing a slight hush.
Oh fuck.
You were already drawing some attention.
Despite the pleasant haze of painful pleasure that was beginning to swirl in your mind and gut, you couldn’t help but notice the looks and stares.
Particularly, you got a nasty feeling from the figure in the far corner eyeing you up from ass to toes. He looked fairly nondescript, but the aura he was giving off felt like poison. Something sticky and unpleasant formed in your gut when you looked at him. Your drunken mind chased it away by turning your head the other way.
And then all you could see was Hitoshi’s gaze on you.
It was damn near feral.
His cheeks flushed and dewy. A bit of sweat was dripping down his temple, reflecting the party lighting like some sort of sick joke. One of his hands was raking through his violet locks. His teeth dug into his full lips as he stared you down.
Your eyes met and you refused to look away.
So did he.
Another hit, harder, made you bite your lip to suppress a cry.
Three more and you couldn’t help the bubbling sounds that were spilling from you. Soft cries and moans, maybe a whimper or two leaked from your bitten lips. Momo wasn’t holding back, and you were sure your ass would ache tomorrow.
Good.
Two more and tears leaked from your eyes. You were sure your friends were just waiting to give both you and Momo so much shit, but you couldn’t care less. All you could do was drink in the hungry way Hitoshi eyed you.
It was definitely not the way people who were ‘just friends’ looked at each other.
“Last two, make ‘em count!” Mina shouted from behind you with a cheer. Some of the others in the room were clamoring to watch.
Momo ran a soothing hand down your back, “You doing okay?”
“I’m peachy,” You push out, voice clearly tear-stricken. “Finish me off, Momo. Bruise me.”
That apparently set her off. Momo smacked your ass with such a force that your face pressed harshly into the bed, obscuring your view of Hitoshi.
The last slap was, by far, the worst. Momo decided to tease you, torturing the raw skin of your ass. She would wind up only to pet your lower back or stroke the tops of your thighs. When she finally gave you the hit you deserved (for torturing Hitoshi and yourself), it sounded across the room just as loud as your sob that followed it. Tears leaked from your eyes as your breath came out in shudders. You loved the feeling of numbness and pain that emanated from your abused cheeks. You relished it.
You turned your head upright, vision blurry. Momo pulled your dress down, helping you sit up.
You didn’t get much of a chance to catch your breath as Hitoshi dashed away and out of the sex room, very tense and very distressed judging by how Denki was shouting after him.
Oh fuck.
You kicked yourself mentally, cursing your stupid fucking hubris.
You took it too far.
He’s either turned on, uncomfortable as fuck, or both.
Probably both.
You start to sit up, ignoring the sobering pain heating up your ass. Quickly, Momo pressed you back down to the bed. A solo cup of clear liquid was offered to you.
“Aftercare, obligatory. Drink this, it’s just water,” Momo stated curtly, watching you down the water. You rubbed the tears from your eyes.
“How’s my makeup?” You asked, ignoring the rising panic in your chest.
Momo inspected you for a moment as the others came over, jeering. She quickly rubbed away smears of mascara, running a hand over the side of your face, “Do you feel okay?”
“Yeah, totally. Shit was fun,” You prayed you were disguising the turning of your gut well enough with your nonchalant tone. “I’m gonna find Hitoshi and make sure he has an extra pair of pants.”
Momo frowned, pressing you down and squeezing your shoulders, “Somehow, I don’t believe that. Please rest for a moment, (Y/N).”
You faltered, following Momo’s command without much thought. Your mind was still in a somewhat of a fog as you sipped at the water she gave you. Her hand rubbed at your shoulders and back, dropping praise every few moments.
The rest of your peers filed over, cheering, flopping on the bed around you.
“Holy fuck, (Y/N),” Hanta whistled, clapping your shoulder.
“That was so hot,” Denki sighed, red-faced and wide-eyed.
Momo ran an affectionate hand through your hair as Jiro fell into her lap, winking at you, “She’s so good, right?”
“Yeah, holy fuck. If y’all ever need a third, you have my number.” You breathed, shaking out a laugh. “I think I need to find Hitoshi, though.”
You stood up, wobbling for a moment, comically aware of sets of eyes on you as you dashed away. Your friends shouted encouragement from behind you as you descended the stairs.
Truthfully, your intent was to smooth things over and make the routine, ‘but we’re bros!’ comment. You knew that this wouldn’t be enough, considering how far you pushed it.
You fucked up.
Took it too far.
What does Hitoshi even think of you now?
...
Your mind was sobering with the help of the water and pain.
You had to find Hitoshi.
So, you quickly moved about the house.
You scanned room after room, checked the front and back yard, but couldn’t find him anywhere.
Where the fuck was he?
You passed by a room upstairs, door shut, and you swore you heard his voice inside.
The panic that had been brewing in you was spilling over. Your ass ached and walking hurt like hell with the bruises that were forming. All you wanted was a cigarette and to apologize to your best friend for taking things way too fucking far—
You swung the door open and was met with a scene that did not include Hitoshi Shinsou.
A mess of four very cute, very high girls, mostly but not entirely clothed, were writhing on the bed, all popping up to look at you.
You flushed, body tensing as you tried to laugh it off, “Oh, wow, sorry about this! I thought my friend was in here. I’ll let you all get back to it.”
The girls hardly seemed perturbed by the sudden intrusion, rather they seemed quite complimentary.
“Aw, you don’t wanna join?” One of the girls pouted, giving you puppy dog eyes. “You’re so pretty!”
“T-thank you,” You shook your head, “You are all very sweet, but I have to find my friend.”
“The one behind you?” A different girl asked.
Your hazed mind hadn’t even picked up that was anyone behind you.
You couldn’t help lighting up. Hitoshi had to be behind you, of course, this silly anxiety attack would come to an end—
You turned.
Your face fell.
***********
It was the creep from the sex room, grinning down at you. There was a nasty glint in his eye.
Your heart started going faster. Your gut soured with a feeling far off from drunkenness.
“Actually, uh, no, I’ll be going, thanks.” You tried to sidestep the man, but he quickly blocked the doorway, boxing you in.
“No, I think we’ll stay,” Oh, the man’s voice was sick in your ears.
You were too shocked to move at first.
His reached for your shoulder, but you managed to stumble back from him.
“No, hey, dude, don’t touch me,” You barked back, pass your growing fear.
He scoffed, muttering something about you being a ‘cheap whore’ and stalked you down.
Your back hit a wall. You froze.
You felt trapped.
His cheap cologne was choking you.
He was just inches away.
You looked helplessly to the girls on the bed, but they had dissolved back into each other. Their hands were grabbing at each other's writhing bodies, clothes being torn away with light moans filling the air. They were far too fucked to be bothered with what was happening to you. The deafening music of the party drowned out your senses beyond the small room.
You tried to slip away from him, out of the door, but his arm slammed beside you.
He caged you.
His hand shot to grab your wrap, squeezing hard and shooting pain into your shoulder as you tried to rip yourself away.
“Get the fuck away from me!” You snarled, trying to wrench out of his grip, away from him. You fell deeper into panic.
You could feel his breath on your ear, and your heart dropped in your chest. With the thrum of the party, it felt far too loud for anyone to hear you. Even if you shouted for help, would anyone come? No one even knew that anything was wrong—
A voice cracked like a roll of thunder through the man’s actions and the drone of the party.
“Get the fuck off of them before I break your fucking fingers.” A familiar, blessed voice cut the air from behind you.
Thank fucking god.
Hitoshi stood in the doorway.
You almost sobbed in relief.
His broad form took up most of the door frame, chest puffed out in his anger. His brow was lowered, mouth twisted in revulsion and fury, all directed at the man who had you caged. Only rage colored Hitoshi’s features. Until he caught your gaze, anyways.
Then, it all dissolved to fear.
“We’re busy, she’s fine, fuck off.” The guy said, digging his hand into your side.
You kicked at his shoe, relishing the way he hissed in pain.
The man glared at you, then looked to Hitoshi. The man scoffed, looking him up and down to assess whether putting up a fight was worth it.
Apparently not, as the man shoved you roughly towards Hitoshi.
*********
You tripped into the latter’s chest as he caught you easily.
Without missing a beat, he steadied you and crushed you to him. One of his broad hands moved up to almost shield the side of your face. You were surprised to find that his body was shaking just as hard as your own. You both mirrored each other in rage and panic.
You pressed your face into his sweater as tears remained dangerously close to falling from your eyes. Fear still tore through you and everything about Hitoshi made you feel a hell of a lot safer.
Hitoshi’s arm tightened as he continued his stare-down.
The man grumbled, exiting the room in a huff and harshly pushing back Hitoshi (and you). You flinched, wincing. A low, rumbling growl rumbled in Hitoshi’s chest as he stared death at the man.
You knew that this was probably all too much. There were details of intimacy and boundaries that were being broken without thought from both of you and that was very bad, probably.
But, you also were drunk on fear as opposed to vodka, and having someone safe to hold you felt better than any hit you could’ve found at the party.
You surrendered to your very obvious reality.
When the man was gone, filtered back into the party, Hitoshi looked down at you, his mood entirely changing.
His anger dissolved. His face softened as he tenderly (and quickly) assessed you. Concerned, but earnest eyes searched your face and body for visible signs of harm. When he was satisfied, Hitoshi linked your hands and pulled you from the room.
He walked you through the party, quickly but gingerly. Your mind buzzed, still panicked and anxious, but the thought of cold air and a less stimulating environment was like aloe on a burn.
Finally, you reached the front door, walking onto an empty front landing.
You fell into Hitoshi.
Your sweaty, shaking hands clung to the back of his sweater as you buried your face into his neck. The familiar scent of his woodsy cologne and natural sweat was more of a sedative than any drug you could find at the party and you fucking needed it.
Hitoshi wrapped his arms around you from the small of your back to your shoulders, squeezing as he buried his face in your hair.
You stiffened but relaxed a moment later. You couldn’t keep pretending. You didn’t have it in you.
You were surrounded by him and the cold air, and nothing felt more comforting.
You decided to forget the semantics of your relationship for a little.
(You hoped, prayed, that he would too).
Hitoshi suddenly tensed, “Is it okay that I’m touching you?”
You could only nod, voice weak and small in the back of your throat, “Y-yeah, it's cool. It’s been cool.”
Hitoshi grounded you, turning the two of you so you were protected from any potential prying eyes. He moved you just right so that his cheek rested on top of your head.
You allowed yourself to close your eyes and focus on the calming beat of Hitoshi’s heart.
He soothed you by existing; he always did. But, in that moment, after such an uncomfortably close brush with something fucking disgusting, his presence was almost cleansing. It purged you of the incessant clawing in the back of your mind.
You’re safe.
You pulled away just enough to look up at Hitoshi’s face. You felt him give you a squeeze which made the smallest, unlikely smile form on your lips.
Slowly, like he was trying not to spook a wild animal, Hitoshi cupped the side of your face. The hold was firm, like it had power to it. You sank into his palm.
(Fuck that feels nice—)
“How are you feeling?” Hitoshi asked softly, gaze warm and honey-like.
You laughed weakly, leaning into his palm, “Like shit. Holy fuck.”
The hand cradling your lower back stroked a thumb idly, “I can only imagine. What happened back there? That guy had been in the ‘sex room’ with us, right?”
“Uh, excuse you, ‘sex attic’, I think you mean?” You still managed to joke. “And yes. Must’ve been following me or something, fucking creep.”
“If you want, I’ll go back in there and kick the shit outta him. I’m sure the others will help. It’d be so worth getting him thrown out for,” Hitoshi snickered, turning his head towards the door as he did.
As he turned back, his eyes widened as your fearful expression returned.
“P-please don’t leave,” You knew it was too much, right? Obviously. But, you didn’t care.
You felt fairly certain Hitoshi didn’t either by that point.
You pressed yourself back close to him and buried your face in the crook of his neck, clutching at his front. “Please don’t go.”
You weren’t sure if he’d return any affections (obviously earlier gestures were just to comfort you, right?).
He did. Immediately, he squeezed as much of you as he could reach, nuzzling his face into the side of your head.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” Hitoshi reassured you with his voice as well as his touch. You shuddered, feeling his lips and breath so close.
The two of you stayed like that for a while.
You retained your death grip on Hitoshi, contemplating it all. Perhaps it was the setting or the way your body was thrumming, but something was forcing you to come to terms with how you really felt about him.
You enjoyed teasing Hitoshi too much for it to just be platonic. You knew this.
You wondered how Hitoshi felt considering all of those heated looks and smirks he loved dishing out.
(An insecure thought or two crept about only being a fuck to him. You tried to repress it, though it certainly didn’t calm you.)
Despite these thoughts, you held Hitoshi with everything you had, fearing that whatever long-cultivated connection the two of you would slip away by the end of the night.
After a few minutes of slow silence, Hitoshi offered you a cigarette, which you took graciously. He leaned forward to light it, silently regarding you with warm eyes.
You took a fat inhale, breathing out with shaky lungs.
“I’m sorry.” You spoke abruptly.
His eyes widened and he shook his head, gently grabbing your shoulders, “No, (Y/N), there is literally nothing for you to be sorry about.”
“No, there is. The thing with Momo,” You shook your head. “That was bad. I’m sorry, I was teasing you and I took it too far. Way too far.”
Hitoshi went still, averting his eyes and biting his lip.
“I appreciate the apology,” Hitoshi's face erupted in red. “B-but, you don’t need to be sorry.”
He’s... embarrassed?
Oh.
(You truly were a dumbass, but god love ‘ya.)
You took another puff, nodding.
Hitoshi pulled you to him again, this time wrapping an arm around your shoulders. His thumb rubbed idly at the bare skin of your arm as he whipped out his phone.
“What do you want to do?” The air was cold as Hitoshi spoke. It nipped at your skin and made you crinkle your nose.
With a moment's hesitation, you replied in a hoarse voice, “Can we go home?”
Hitoshi visibly softened for you, “Of course. I can call us an Uber. To your dorm...?” There’s a question in his voice that you both already knew the answer to.
You shook your head, “Your place?”
He nodded, “Of course, (Y/N).”
You leaned into his shoulder, letting yourself relax.
#salem writes#hitoshi shinso x reader#hitoshi shinsou x reader#shinso x reader#shinsou x reader#shinso hitoshi x reader#mha smut#mha x reader#bnha x reader#shinso hitoshi#shinso hitoshi x y/n#hitoshi shinso x y/n#shinso hitoshi x you
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“Also??? I am ridiculous. You didn’t had the time to answer my other ramblings about him I AM SO FUCKING SORRY HAHAHAH I just don’t know nowhere else where to go with this shit. So I am just dropping this by you, bc I know your are going to make the most of it and you don’t mind ( or at least I hope so???) Anyways please never feel forced or pressured to answer these because they are just brainrot.
So guys like Twitch Streamer!Zeke huh??? I didn’t plan on add something but some of the other ideas really inspired me so I will extend my thoughts a little lol.
Okay so just imagine, after a few months of playing and streaming with Zeke everyday, he starts to think (he doesn’t do that all the time no no). There are some other Steamers out there who he often plays with and who you Are often playing with. So he starts building a group, you helping him adding members to them. And then you make a twitch streamer house. You all pay a part of it and gather all your Gaming stuff there. Switches, Playstations, computers, everything all over the place. Some even start vlogging and blogging, filming videos to upload them on YouTube. Going out together and eating some from the chat recommended restaurants is now on video too. It blows up like crazy. Zeke didn‘t plan on this to happen, the be honest, he just wanted a reason to move in with you and get to know you in real life, not only through video games and chatting. Of course he likes the other members too but he is found in your room, playing games together and even making music. Because he likes to mess around on the keyboard and with drums and beats a bit. Creates a lofi song from Time to time.
He starts to get cautious and anxious about his feelings because?? What if you liked him better over VR? What if he is not your type? But all of this is blown away as you end the stream one evening a little earlier than he had thought and started to kiss him, finally making a move. And boy is he happy. Immediately takes a little break from the twitch house to get some personal space with you in his or your apartment. While you guys are gone the house starts to get down into real trouble, members are leaving and new members are added without your or Zeke‘s agreement. As soon as you both find this out you leave it be, moving out and moving together.
And the people are lien O.o? Homies dipped for a few days and now are moved together out of the house?? aRE yA TogEThEr? Zeke and you keep it a secret as long as you want it, he doesn’t mind showing everybody that you are his. And deep down Zeke is very happy because...
Well you can’t suck him off under the desk when he is streaming and playing a game when there are other streamers in the same house right? You can‘t keep his cock nice and warm in your cunt when he making another LoFi song, when you are at the streamer house.
Also i want to add another game Zeke is absolutely bawling about: Fall guys. It’s a hate-love relationship between him and this game. He likes the challenge that comes within it but BOY. The other players. PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT INFRONT OF THE GOAL AND NOT LETTING HIM PASS??? Rage quit. Sometimes he will end the stream then and there when he looses and fuck the shit out of you, taking out his frustrations. But as hard as he is pounding you, he is still sweet. He wants you to call him the best one out there, the only gamer who is as good at beating games as filling up this tight pussy.
If anybody is interested yes this idea is a little inspired by the Twitch Streamer House Offline TV I believe? Some names you may know are Fat, Lily Pichu or Pokemane. They are genuinely funny and if you enjoy video games and some good Humor you should check them out (if you got free time lol). Man. I just noticed that my stories this evening are a little bit more soft & shit?? How did that happen? We need to get back to dirty nasty shit. Gimme a few hours and my brain will combine the nasty and filthy shit for y‘all
Also i would like to know if anybody likes Splatoon 2 as much as I do because I have been loosing my shit & time at this game and I low-key think Zeke would play it too but not for too long but is anybody in the same boat as me? Asking for a friend (no for real anybody know Splatoon 2??????) -🍆”
Alright sorry again for taking so long to answer, turns out I can't FUCKING READ IF I DONT TAKE MY MEDS beat me up pls
I do not know Splatoon at all 😭 I am sorry but I may check out that YouTube stuff to think about Streamer Zeke some more... hehe
Streamer Zeke who falls head over heels for you. It's absolutely ridiculous. He's suave enough to become your friend, close enough to start this little house of yours with his other friends like Streamer Porco and Streamer Pieck as well as vlogger Reiner and his little brother who plays games but also films skating video.
You work with him to gather this house together, organizing everything (you requested bean bags and Zeke delivered 10x with giant comfortable bean bags.) Eventually you end up catching on to his feelings for you. No, he never really came onto you. Super respectful of you and your space but he does want to be with you a lot, it's how he shows his love -- with buying you things and quality time. Plus, the blush across his face whenever you playfully flirt with him is priceless. And whenever you dress up nice? He can barely be near you. You look so good he cant help it. Even when you wear sweatpants and pajamas he's simping hard. Hearts in his eyes 24/7. He keeps it on the downlow but sometimes it's so obvious especially when you two stream together he acts different. Biting his lips red and raw and a small strawberry blush settled on his cheeks that only few notice.
Then dual streaming together, (are you streaming in the same room? Is that how it works? Probably not but let's just say it us for now,) he's nervous. He can hide it mostly but then when you two finally fall into a softer more viable atmosphere he can finally breathe and be comfortable with you while streaming. Eventually you're cueing off way earlier than he thought but he goes with it smoothly, turning to ask you what's up before you pull him into a kiss.
He's red. Stuttering out "oh-okay" before you pull him into another long winded kiss, leaning over the arm of his chair to kiss him while he's trying to maneuver his chair to face you and trying to keep his lips on yours. He's pined too long to not have his lips on yours in this very moment. Pulling you to stand between his legs and into one of the most heated and loving make-out sessions. Zeke feels like he's a teen again with you twirling the hair at the back of his neck and him playing with the edge of your shirt nervously.
When you pull away, he pouts. Full lipped pout with a whine sticking in his throat, trying to pull you back to him, and who are you to deny him?
He does sneak into your room to mess with you, even during streams to mess with the little sound board, making stupid little songs while you play. It's cute in a an annoying way, shooing him away with a little fly swatter while he giggles, running out the room.
Eventually, Eren is inviting too many people over, inviting others to join the house without Zekes agreement and as much as he tries to talk sense into him, it's no use. So with this secret relationship of yours, cuddling in your room he asks if you two should move out. He's the eldest so it'd make sense even if the house becomes chaos without him and you don't deserve to he left behind. He knows you find his little brother annoying without even saying anything for his sake. You're getting tired of Armin too, to be honest. Mikasa is nice but paired along with the other two it's impossible to get a good conversation with her.
They aren't even aware of you two moving out before the day comes. All the furniture, gaming consoles, electric piano he likes to play, and more. Including two bean bags that weren't ruined.
I can't get this scenario out of my head but imagine him peeking into your separate gaming room at the new apartment, shirtless and in sweats, strategically staying out of the way of the camera and when you glance at him he's smirking. He's tempting you to end stream and pay attention to him now.
And fuck does it work. Trying to end stream with a little smile on your face while Zeke lean against the doorframe. Thing is you don't exactly hit the right button as you get up, leaving the stream playing while you pull him into the room and stumbling onto him whole he leans back onto the couch. Pulling him into a heated kiss with a hand on his throat, dominating him much more than anybody would ever expect.
It's not like you two ever went explicitly public ever. So the stream is blowing up, skyrocking it to numbers you've never seen before Zeke is patting your back to get your attention. You can barely say anything as you go to really turn of the stream. Muttering a sorry with disheveled hair and clothes and swollen lips to match the actions everyone just caught, both you and Zekes phones blowing up with calls and texts from friends.
"Well..." Zeke sighs and leans back with a bittersweet smile, "now everybody knows..."
You sigh with your smacking against his chest, "I'm sorry, I didn't- that was stupid of me."
He just rubs your back and laughs, "well, that may have worked in our favor. Now we don't have to announce it formally, just respond to the reaction of everybody. Though, they got to see me shirtless and you be all sexy on top of me. I don't appreciate that much..."
Because that's only for his eyes to see, and yours as well. Plus, this will get other streamers to stop flirting with you, so that's an advantage in his eyes. Now you can stream as a couple too if you two wanted. But he does like the keep couple things between just the two of you, a clear divide between his romantic life and his streaming and work life which the both of you two appreciate endlessly. Though... the times when those two mix are fun to say the least.
Sitting underneath his desk while he streams is risky but it has his blood pumping so fucking quick. Cock in your mouth, hallowing your cheeks which makes him want to roll his hips but he has to resist. The blush on his face is already suspicious and the moments he pauses or groans only can happen so often before people make jokes about someone being under the desk. But both of you manage, him cumming as quietly as he can into your mouth with the volume of the game turned high. You keep suckling a bit until he's nudging you off his cock while his works his spit covers cock back into his pants, continuing stream for another hour before ending and letting you finally get out from under the desk.
He'll support you from under the desk too but you're much better at keeping your composure for some reason and it pisses him off. Tongue lapping messily at your folds while your thighs are thrown over his shoulders as you stream. After it ends without you orgasming he goes ham. Trapping you in the chair and fingering you with vigor until you're orgasming at least twice. He wants you shaking so he will have it. He wants you babbling and your cum all over his face and won't stop, moaning when you pull his hair and wetting the towel you set down on the chair before anything was started.
He does make lo-fi music. Loves making songs like that and ends up playing them while you two cuddle and during sweet love making sessions. Sometimes really casual, loving sex where it's missionary -- rolling into each other while his beard scratching at your neck and chest, kissing at every part he can reach. Nails scratching at his back and one caressing his hair away from his forehead, just pure loving sex that leaves you both completely satisfied.
No one can have this but each other, completely separated from both of your everyday lives and people you know. Fingers digging into the flesh of your hips until both of you are cumming, teeth nibbling on your lips as you moan. He turns your face to his before swallowing your moans in a kiss, only pulling back to see your blissed out face.
Yeah, he wouldn't trade this for the world.
#18+ i block blogs with no age indication#◆.aot#❖.zeke jaeger#♥️.🍆anon#aot smut#aot fanfiction#aot x reader#zeke jaeger x reader#zeke jaeger smut#⚫.answered#⚫.drabbles#zeke smut#zeke yeager x reader#zeke yaeger x reader smut#zeke yeager smut
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October Drabbles 21-25
More drabbles
21. Late Night (post-canon Wangxian fluff, mildly NSFW)
It’s past the time that Lan Wangji should be asleep—and he was, actually, until Wei Wuxian crawled into bed with him. Often, Wei Wuxian will just curl up beside him, or perhaps wrap his arms around Lan Wangji and tangle their legs together, and then go quietly to sleep. Tonight, though, he woke Lan Wangji up with kisses on his neck turning into soft nips to his collarbone, pulling his clothing aside to reach further down.
“Go to sleep,” Lan Wangji murmurs, half awake, a soft rumble under Wei Wuxian’s mouth on his chest.
“I will.” Wei Wuxian’s lips flutter against his skin and Lan Wangji shivers. “After.”
Wei Wuxian continues to move downward, kissing a meandering path across Lan Wangji’s stomach. Lan Wangji reaches down, half thinking about pushing him away or pulling him up to settle beside him, but in the end, he only rests his hand on Wei Wuxian’s head, fingers sliding into his hair. “Is that a yes?” Wei Wuxian smugly murmurs into Lan Wangji’s lower stomach, tongue venturing out to trace a line between his muscles while he waits for an answer.
Lan Wangji hesitates for only the briefest of moments before answering, “Yes.”
22. Blushing (post-canon Wangxian fluff, more mildly NSFW)
It was so easy for Wei Wuxian to fluster Lan Wangji when they were young. All he had to do was make a nuisance of himself, say something blatantly flirty (despite not realizing himself that he was flirting), lean into Lan Wangji’s personal space, and he’d be rewarded with subtle hints of panic, yelling, red ears and, if he was really successful, a blush spreading pink and pretty across Lan Wangji’s cheeks.
Since his death and return, though, the tables have turned and it’s Wei Wuxian who finds himself flustered more often than not, all his shameless behavior backfiring on him. Even now, when he understands that flirting with Lan Wangji will never turn him off, Wei Wuxian can’t seem to find a way to tease that doesn’t end in him blushing, usually with Lan Wangji’s lips on his or in other more interesting places. Lan Wangji has become very good at shutting him up, sometimes making an absolute mess of him in the process and sometimes only making Wei Wuxian desperately wish he would, holding tight to his wrists or pinning him down so he can’t get what he wants until Lan Wangji says he can.
And worse still, sometimes when he flirts obnoxiously, Lan Wangji will turn and just give him this look, not quelling, not threatening, not even promising, but just so fond, so openly, unabashedly in love that Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what to with it. He loves Lan Wangji just as much, but it’s still a shock sometimes that anyone could love him so deeply and unshakably. It brings heat to his cheeks, but more so a warmth to his heart, and a feeling that it doesn’t matter if he can’t tease Lan Wangji anymore; all that matters is this.
23. Poetry (modern AU Wangxian fluff, feat. songwriter LWJ)
Lan Zhan writes a lot of songs for other people, working hard on the kind of poetic lyrics and dramatic orchestral music he loves, and which he’s managed to make a name for himself with. He’s only written one song for himself, though, and not so much for himself as for Wei Ying. It’s one of the first songs he ever wrote, when he was an idiot teenager in love wondering if he’d ever fulfill his dreams of being a songwriter, or of having Wei Ying by his side, not just as an annoying classmate and maybe friend, but as someone who knew how Lan Zhan felt and loved him back.
There’s a part of Lan Zhan that always cringes when he hears Wangxian, which (mercifully) exists only as a demo recording sung by him. What was he thinking with that title, or those painfully unsubtle lyrics? But mostly it makes him smile at how quickly and helplessly he fell in love with Wei Ying, even before he particularly liked him, and how he’s only fallen more in love with the passage of time. It also makes him smile because there’s so much hope, not explicitly in the lyrics, but in the feeling of the song, translated from how he felt when he wrote it—and he knows now that he was right to hope.
“I still can’t believe you wrote me a love song when I thought you hated me,” Wei Ying says once when he convinces Lan Zhan to play the demo again. “A sappy as fuck love song.”
“I never hated you,” Lan Zhan responds, a fond smile playing at his lips at the memory of when he tried to convince himself that he did. “And I know perfectly well that you love this song.”
Wei Ying grins and gives him a kiss. “I do love this song, and I love you.”
24. Spicy (unspecified Wangxian fluff)
Wei Wuxian finds it impossibly cute when Lan Wangji tries to eat spicy things for him, especially dishes he cooked which no one in their right mind would try to eat. (He thinks they’re good, but he’s aware that other people are weak and wrong—uh, have different opinions.) It’s not that he wants Lan Wangji to suffer, but it’s sweet that he loves Wei Wuxian enough to try, and it’s simultaneously adorable and hilarious how he tries to hide the effects as his cheeks flush and he starts to sweat and he blinks furiously, his eyes watering and his lips pressed tightly together to hold back a cough.
On the other hand, Wei Wuxian loves Lan Wangji and wants him to be happy always, and that’s why one night when he’s cooking for the two of them, he makes a sincere effort to make the most bland and inoffensive food he can manage. It looks so pale and dull and his hands itch to douse it in pepper, but he restrains himself, setting the dishes on the table as is and calling Lan Wangji in.
He can see the moment Lan Wangji notices, his brow furrowing ever-so-slightly as he scans the table and then looks up at Wei Wuxian, his expression midway between confused and affectionate. “Well, go on. Eat!” Wei Wuxian prods.
It’s the most boring meal Wei Wuxian has ever eaten in his life (when he had a choice, anyway), but it’s worth it for the way Lan Wangji actually seems to enjoy eating it instead of having to brace himself before each bite, and for the fond, appreciative looks he flashes Wei Wuxian in between. “It was very good,” he says at the end, entirely unprompted.
“I’m glad,” Wei Wuxian says, “but I’m not making any promises about it happening again soon.”
Lan Wangji smiles softly and shakes his head. “I would expect nothing less.”
25. Clothes (pre-canon WWX gen, feat. Jiang sibs & JFM)
For the first few years in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian accepts whatever clothes are provided to him without complaint. He’s grateful to have a place to live and food to eat and clothes without any holes in them to wear. What those clothes look like isn’t important—and even if it was, he’s afraid to object to anything, afraid of being too greedy in case Jiang Fengmian decides it’s more trouble than it’s worth to keep him. Even when Uncle Jiang asks what he wants, he’s hesitant to really ask for it
Eventually, though, he starts to feel more comfortable, more secure in his place here. (If Madam Yu hasn’t managed to kick him out by now, he’s probably safe, right?) And one day, when a tailor comes to measure him and Jiang Cheng and Shijie for new clothes, Uncle Jiang asks, “What color robes would you like this time?”
“Black!” Wei Wuxian answers. He imagines he’ll look very grown up and manly in black, not to mention have an easier time sneaking around at night if the mood strikes him.
Belatedly, he worries that he’s being too demanding, but Uncle Jiang only smiles and says, “Black it is, then.”
“Only black?” Shijie asks. “You don’t think it’ll look nice with some color underneath?”
“I suppose.” Wei Wuxian considers, trying to picture himself in his new robes. “What color do you think, shijie?”
“Decide for yourself,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but Shijie ignores him and says, “I think you’d look great in red.”
Wei Wuxian beams as though she’s given him high praise. “All right, then. Black and red for me.” He can’t wait to see how he looks in his new robes.
#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#cql#the untamed#mdzs fic#cql fanfic#the untamed fic#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wangxian#yunmeng trio#wangxian fic#mine#fic#flufftober
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The Frat house
Prompt: “isn’t is fascinating? you don't even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.”
Dean X reader ( Dean is 20, Reader and Sam are 16).
Warnings: Um, none? I don't think.
Dean Winchester was a royal pain in your ass. His smart mouth and sassy one liners made you want to punch his pretty face in. Most of the time, you could avoid him, ignore him and just hang out with Sam who was much more chill and cool. You were thankful you only ever had to see the oldest Winchester once in a while when his father didn't need him on a hunt.
Sadly, tonight wasn't one of those nights. Your father and John had gone off on a hunt with some other hunters, it was going to be a day or two and sadly, Dean hadn't tagged along with them, John and your father insisted he stay behind and keep you and Sam out of trouble. Little did they realize most of the time, Dean ended up being bigger trouble than either of you two.
You heard the light knock on your bedroom door, you'd opted to stay in your room for most of the night, hoping they'd think you were on your period and leave you alone. You felt bad not hanging out with Sam, but you really didn't want to be annoyed by Dean. That boy could give you a brutal migraine in less than 10 minutes.
You got up from your bed, abandoning your latest journal entry before opening the door. There stood Dean, a half smirk on his pretty face dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans.
“Ugh, what do you want, Winchester?” you rolled your eyes, making your way back over to your bed.
“You should be nicer, y/n. Boys would like you better if you didn't have such a bad attitude.” He speaks, making you gag.
“Ah, yes, my mission in life, to please all the boys.” You mock him, rolling your eyes yet again before prying as to what the hell he wanted from you.
“So? To what reason do I owe your presence?” you sass him and he smirks again.
“Sammy and I are going to go have some fun, taking the kid to his first college party, you in?” He winks, your eyes wide as you squint at him.
“Sam and I are 16, there's no way we can get in to a college party.” You shrug, shaking your head at his idiotic idea. He clicks his tongue and laughs.
“Who’s going to know? Sam will probably go unnoticed, and you can put on something skimpy, do your makeup and you pass for 18 tops, ain't no one going to question you.” He eyes you up and down and you punch his arm.
“Owww, what the hell!” He shouts, rubbing his arm. “That’s for being a pervert, and no, I'm not going to whore myself out just to go to some college party with you, besides, our dads told us to stay put, I ain't about to break the rules, your dad will kill you if he finds out.” You raise an eyebrow, making your way over to your bed.
“He won't if he doesn't know about it, we'll be back way before they will, and I never said whore yourself out, though, I'm sure a night of fooling around with some guy would adjust that stick up your ass. We're going, come, stay, I don't care but you got 15 minutes to decide or we're leaving.” He states, winking at you before shutting the door behind him.
You hated Dean Winchester. Well, maybe hate was a strong word, you really heavily disliked him. He was a constant pain in your ass, a headache that seemed to never go away. However, you wondered if maybe he was right. You had only ever had sex with your ex, and that had ended last year, you could use a night out, and a hot college guy could possibly just be what you needed and just like Dean said, no one would know you weren't 18.
You sighed, not believing the idiot outside had actually convinced you this was a good idea. Taking his advice, you got dressed in your “sexiest” dress, a simple black one that always enhanced your curves and paired it with your favorite red pumps, you put some effort into your makeup, a dark Smokey eye and a bold red lip, your winged liner perfected after years of practice. Dean was right, at this rate, no one would question your age.
You met the boys by the front door, Dean throwing on his dad's old leather jacket that was twice his size as he headed over towards you, maybe one day he'd grow into the coat.
Sam's cheeks turned a shade of red as he complimented your look. You smiled politely as you thanked him. Sam was always the more gentlemanly of the two. When Dean finally noticed you, he smirked, letting out a wolf whistle as he passed you towards the impala.
“You clean up nice y/n, if you weren't practically my little sister I'd take you home myself.” He chuckles, smacking your ass as he passes you. You let out a squeal and it makes him chuckle before you let out an annoyed groan.
“You’re such a pig, as if I'd ever go to bed with you, who know's what you've contracted.” Once again rolling your eyes at him in distaste. “You roll your eyes a lot y/n, one day you're going to get stuck like that, also, I'm not stupid, I use condoms and always get tested.” Dean smirks, biting his lower lip before throwing himself into the drivers seat, unknowingly to him just how much he affects you. Maybe that's why you tried to hate him so bad, you refused to admit the older Winchester got to you, making you flushed most of the time you spent around him.
“And you talk too much Winchester, I mean seriously, do you ever stop talking.” You sass, throwing him a fake smile. He winks in return, “Only when I'm using my mouth for other things.” He stares back at you from the rear view, making a motion with his hand and tongue to signify what he means.
“Can you two stop, this whole conversation is becoming gross. Let's just go.” Sam pipes up, blushing more than he should. “Don't worry, Sammy. One day you'll learn, my little virgin brother.” Dean chuckles, ruffling Sam's hair.
“I’m not a virgin, I just don't announce it to everyone so explicitly.” Sam grits, trying to avoid you hearing. “Yeah yeah, sure thing sammy.” Dean smirks and soon enough he's driving off.
You'd been at this party for three hours and had yet to find a decent human to talk to. Sam had wandered off over an hour ago with a cute petite brunette who seemed very fond of him, you had a feeling she'd be dragged here too, and Dean, well, Dean was around flirting with every girl who would give him the time of day. His cheesy pick up lines failing most of the time, sometimes you wondered how in the hell Dean got as much action as he did, his lines were usually horrible.
You took a sip of your beer, people watching as a bunch of jocks screamed and yelled, doing keg stands, a group of girls stood off to the sides, some of them eyeing the jocks and giggling to each other.
“You look a little lonely.” A voice booms out over the music and you turn, coming face to face with a cute blonde haired guy, he's wearing a muscle shirt that's probably one size to big, a pair of Jean's that aren't baggy but not fitted either. He's got a beer in his hand and he's smiling softly at you.
“Just checking out the scene. This isn't a bad party.” You shrug, sipping from your red Solo cup. He chuckles. ��Yeah, Rick always throws the best parties, everyone literally shows up. So how come your not with your friends? You go here right?” He asks making conversation, and your brain works overtime to come up with something.
The conversation between you and what you now knew was the guy named Eric and that he was 18, had flowed nicely and before you knew it, you'd spent the last 20 minutes taking shots with him and now here you were, pressed up against the kitchen island as he kissed you, his lips soft and warm, he smelled like fireball but you didn't care, you just wanted to be kissed, having almost forgotten what it was like to make out with a cute guy. He pulls away, smiling at you, breathing heavily as he speaks.
“I’ll be right back, gonna check if any rooms are clear.” He states before shooting you a wink, you pull some hair behind your ear and bite your bottom lip, smiling at him nervously, suddenly not sure you wanted to be here.
You turn around, ready to grab your solo cup and refresh yourself when you come face to face with Dean. He's on the other side of the island, leaning over on it with his elbows, drink in his hand and he's smirking at you, he raises and eyebrow and before he speaks, you groan. He shoots you a shrug.
“What? I didn't say anything.” He speaks up, smiling stupidly at you.
“ Isn’t is fascinating? you don't even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.” You spit out, already annoyed with him. He laughs.
“You having fun?” he asks and he seems genuinely concerned. “Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Thanks, you were right I needed this.” You give him a soft smile before you start to bite your lip, eyebrows furrowing.
Dean watches you carefully, noticing the mood change. “You okay?” he asks and you pipe back up, letting go of your lip as you shake yourself back to reality, “Yeah, yeah i’m good it's just uh....he asked me to go upstairs, he's older and I uh- um, you know what, nevermind.” You shake you head, taking a giant sip out of your cup.
“Y/n, if you're not comfortable, say no. Point blank, and if tries anything else, call me. I'll deal with it. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to, okay?” He assures you, and you take a deep breath.
“Yeah, I know, thanks Dean.” He shoots you a small nod, and it's the first time you've seen him have your back, full support with no judgement or jokes or inappropriate remarks.
“I know, uh, I know I can be a dick sometimes and I annoy the hell out of you, but I need you to know when it comes down to it, I got your back, y/n. Always.” He smiles, you give him a small smile back, moving around the island to get closer to him, you lean up using your tip toes to get closer to his height, placing a small peck on his cheek.
“Thanks Dean, You're not always so bad.” You smirk, before leaving him to his night, making your way over to the dancefloor.
Dean watches you for a bit, smiling as he watches you laugh when that frat boy joins you, it was nice to see you having a good time and letting loose. He would never admit it, it wasn't like him to be so attracted to someone he'd known all his life or feel for someone so much, but you had always been different.
He kept his distance for the most part, he wasn't stupid, you were 16, and it wouldn't be in his best interest or smart to make a move, plus John would kill him, you were still underage, but maybe eventually, when you turned 18, maybe he'd consider doing something about the dreams that woke him up every night sweaty and heated.
One day, you'd see he wasn't as annoying as you thought. For tonight, he'd have to settle for watching you from afar, knowing damn well he’d be going home alone yet again.
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You Set My Heart Ablaze Pt.10/25
Previous
The flat was filled with the melodic sounds of sitar strings, or more accurately, the screeching sounds of sitar strings.
Jaskier still hadn’t gotten the hang of his new baby.
It was a truly beautiful instrument but completely different to his usual stringed instruments. The long neck of the sitar had way more pegs than he used to and he just couldn’t get it to sing like he wanted. He was struggling to play with the microtones that the sitar music was famous for. He would probably have to see if he could find a teacher to help him. That wasn’t going to be easy.
He gently put the instrument back in its case and sat down at his piano instead. His flat wasn’t really big enough to house his baby grand piano but he just hadn’t been able to leave the beautiful instrument behind in the shop. It had called out to him like a siren and he’d been helpless to resist its call.
Of course, he’d probably be able to afford a bigger flat if he managed to stop buying instruments.
He laughed. “But where’s the fun in that?”
His fingers idly pressed the keys without him putting much effort in. He closed his eyes and let the music free from his heart.
School was starting back the next day and he’d been up almost all weekend trying to finish up his lesson plans. He hadn’t meant to leave it to the last minute but time had just gotten away from him and suddenly it was Saturday and he’d not done any work. Luckily coffee and cat naps were his bestest friends in the whole wide world and he’d finally managed to get it all done. Just in time to enjoy his last evening before the kids took over his life once more. His kids were amazing but full of energy and it took a lot out of him to be so switched on all day long. He’d already drafted his email to the parents to send out on Friday evening based on his lesson plans for the week, but he still had Geralt’s left to write.
Not that Geralt received any special treatment or anything.
It was just that he needed to be mindful of Ciri’s special circumstances.
Or at least that was the lie he’d told himself all term.
But at least he still personalised each of the emails a little before sending them out!
And so what he he wrote Geralt handwritten letters more frequently than the other parents.
It wasn’t a crime.
The only crime was Geralt’s ass.
It was to die for.
He groaned and shook his head to try and clear out the thoughts of his love, his fingers slipping on the keys of the piano, but there was really nothing he could do to stop the barrage of Geralt thoughts. Since parents’ evening he’d developed a blooming friendship with Geralt and it was making him feel all sorts of things that he really shouldn’t be feeling if he wanted to keep his job.
They had managed to meet up a few of times over the last half of the school term to discuss Ciri’s progress at school, although Jaskier could count on one hand how many times Ciri’s classwork had actually come up in conversation. Jaskier could never resist flirting with the firefighter which Geralt took in his stride. Although Jaskier wasn’t entirely certain that Geralt even realised he was flirting.
Jaskier was ninety-five percent sure that Geralt was interested in men, and in him specifically. He’d never explicitly said it and there was nothing about their meetings that really screamed anything more than friendship, but every so often Geralt would seemingly flirt back and it floored Jaskier every single time. How was he supposed to handle that? This tall muscular amber-eyed God was actually paying him attention. The small smiles that Geralt gave him made his heart sing, and to the gods when Geralt laughed, he felt his insides turn to mush. Geralt was usually happy to let Jaskier hold most of the conversation, talking about his new instrumental conquests, books he was reading, the beautiful birds he’d seen on the walk to work, but the white-hair man was beginning to open up.
Jaskier had learnt more about Roach, who he’d mistaken for a large dog in Ciri’s drawing. He had, of course teased Geralt over his choice of name but that hadn’t lasted long when Geralt had turned the table on him and asked what Jaskier would call a horse and the only name he could think of was Greg. Geralt offered up a little information about his teammates but notably avoided talking about his childhood. Jaskier couldn’t blame him for that. He had avoided that topic himself.
He knew that Geralt struggled to find time to cook but always made an effort to cook something from scratch with Ciri’s help at least once a week. Their favourite thing to make was pizza, it was also their favourite take-away. He’d learnt that Geralt tended not to watch much tv unless it was with Ciri and the man could tell you far too much about Ciri’s favourite cartoons, which explained his Apple Jack lunchbox. Geralt preferred to read in his free time instead, normally fantasy books, anything with a dragon in. Geralt’s favourite colour was blue which Jaskier adored. He could pretend that the reason was because his eyes were blue. He had filed that information away to fuel several romantic daydreams which ended in a summer wedding.
His fingers began to dance over the keys in a previously unheard melody.
It was beautiful.
“Ah fuck!” He cursed and scrambled to find manuscript paper as he pushed his glasses up his nose.
It was buried in between his lute and his computer. There was barely a spare page in the notebook but he managed to find one in the middle. Once he’d got the melody captured he would copy it over into a fresher, more organised book that held his complete compositions.
He closed his eyes again as he tried to remember precisely what he’d played before but it was missing something. The chords weren’t quite right and it left the piece sounding almost empty and dead.
“Bollocks!”
The moment had passed and his muse had left him.
He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his recents calls until he found the number he wanted. The phone rang twice before the sweet dulcet tones of his younger cousin sounded in his ears.
“What do you want?” Essi asked wearily.
“Lovely to speak to you too.” Jaskier shot back.
Essi sighed. “I’m working, Dandelion.”
“This late?” He double checked the clock. It was almost nine in the evening but then again she was a professional singer. If she had a gig then it was likely to be later on in the day, and now that he paid more attention he could hear the sounds of a bar in the background of the call.
“Not all of us work nine til five, Dandy.” The old nickname slipped out.
“Essi!” He groaned. “I stopped calling myself Dandelion years ago”
“Says the man that realised an album last spring under the alias of Dandelion.”
“It’s a stage name.” He pouted before he remembered she couldn’t see him.
He heard someone calling her name in the background and she yelled back. He winced as the shout hurt his ears. “I gotta go, did you need something?”
He sighed as he ran his fingers over the keys of his piano without making a sound. He could still hear the notes in his head as he desperately tried to recall the tune he had played before. “I just lost another composition to the cruel winds of time.”
“Who were you thinking about?” She asked and he could picture her easily. One hand on her hip, guitar case slung around her shoulder, long blonde hair falling in front of one of her cornflour blue eyes, eyes they had both inherited from their shared grandfather.
He frowned as he considered her question. “Who said I was thinking about anyone?”
She laughed before shouting again at whoever was trying to get her attention. Jaskier held the phone away from his ear this time. Essi really did have a set of lungs on her. “Dearest cousin. Your first album was all about your failed relationship with Pris. The second album was your failed relationship with Stella, and Valdo’s betrayal by stealing away your true love.”
“Wow. Geez. Thanks Essi. You really know how to build a man up.”
“So what failed relationship is it this time?”
“There is no relationship.” He spat back through gritted teeth, wondering why he even bothered with his cousin sometimes. In many ways she was like his little sister and she never hesitated in telling him exactly what she thought of him.
“Sure, sure. That’s why it’s failed. Look I really have to go. They need me on stage. Don’t be a stranger Dandelion!”
The phone line cut off and Jaskier stared at the phone in his hands.
“Oh cock!” He cursed as he realised she was completely right.
He’d been thinking about Geralt.
He closed the lid of the piano with more force than necessary and moved to sit back down on the sofa. He hadn’t meant to think about Geralt. He’d just been thinking about the work he needed to do for school and his thoughts had drifted to his infatuation on their own accord.
As if reading his thoughts, his phone buzzed signalling he had an email.
From Geralt.
“Oh no. No no no. Can’t do this right now.” He moaned and put his head in his hands, knocking his glasses half off his face. “Can’t I have a moment in peace?!” He asked the ceiling.
It was Sunday. He didn’t have to worry about what to say to Geralt until Friday. That was the rules… unless they had a catch up about Ciri but they hadn’t organised another meeting yet. Yes he missed Geralt desperately but he was aware that that was borderline clingy and he didn’t want to scare the man off, and yet here he was emailing Jaskier out of the blue.
It was probably about the present he’d bought Geralt. It wasn’t much, just a voucher for one of the outdoor activity shops in town and a poem he’d written about Roach.
It was terrible.
He hated it.
“Oh fuck off.” Jaskier groaned at his own thoughts and clicked on the email.
Jaskier,
Sorry for bothering you. I know you’re busy.
I wanted to say thank you for my present. I read Roach the poem. She was very impressed.
Jaskier grabbed a pillow from his sofa and hugged it tightly as he continued to read, feeling very proud of himself.
I am sorry I didn’t think to get you anything from me but hopefully you liked Ciri’s gift.
He had. Ciri had bought him a brand new travel mug. It was covered in music notes just like his mug from the staffroom at school. There had also been a little photo of Roach tucked into the card because Jaskier hadn’t stopped asking Geralt about her.
I need to ask you something. It would probably be better in person or over the phone. I’m not good at emails.
- Geralt.
Jaskier re read the last paragraph twice before hitting the reply button.
He sent Geralt his number before he could change his mind and then threw his phone onto the sofa. The phone barely managed to bounce on the cushions before it started ringing and Jaskier lunged to pick it up.
He clicked to accept the call and all at once he felt lighter than he had in weeks.
“Geralt!” He cried happily. “Hi!”
“Jaskier.” Geralt’s gruff voice answered. Jaskier felt like he’d turned to goo. The way Geralt said his name never failed to make him feel weak at the knees.
Pull yourself together Jaskier! He chided at himself.
“So, my dear, what was it that you wanted to ask me?” He kept his voice light like his fingers on his lute strings, not betraying the way his heart thundered in his chest.
Geralt grunted on the other end of the line and Jaskier rolled his eyes and smiled. How was it that he even missed Geralt’s ineloquent grunts?
“It’s not a stupid question, Geralt.” He replied. “If you don’t know something then you should ask.”
“I’m not one of your kids, Jaskier.” Geralt huffed.
He laughed at that and put the phone on speaker. His fingers were itching to move and he was getting restless not being able to play whilst holding the phone.
“Yes yes. I know that.” He hummed as he let his fingers trail across the many different instrument cases that were stacked up against the wall. They landed on his lute, an instrument long forgotten to many but one that remained so dear to him. He’d originally started to play the lute because it was different and he liked to stand out. Every musician in the folk scene played guitar or violin or piano.
He didn’t want to be like every other musician.
He wanted to be the best.
So he’d pick up the lute and never looked back. It was an expensive and delicate instrument so he tended not to bring it into school that often but he often found himself playing it at home.
It was also a reminder as to why he’d begun teaching full time. At first he’d only taught guitar and piano whilst he was at university in Oxenfurt to help finance his music career and pay for his rent after he had had a disagreement with his parents. The lute was the first instrument he’d bought for himself after the argument, to celebrate having enough students to finally make it through the month without begging his friends for cash and managing to save for the first time.
Soon after he realised how much he really enjoyed teaching and after graduating with a degree in music, he went on to study teaching. He’d worked as a teaching assistant in Oxenfurt before moving to Upper Posada where he finally had his own class, the Buttercups.
“Have you put me on speaker?” Geralt asked.
“Don’t you have sharp ears?” Jaskier teased his friend, he was sure they were friends. “It’s just me here, I just needed my hands.”
“You needed your hands.” Geralt replied and Jaskier could practically hear the smirk in his tone.
“Not like that!” He cried. “Honestly, Geralt, is that really what you think of me?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to. I just wanted to grab my lute.”
Geralt laughed. “Is that what they call it these days?”
“Geralt Rivia!” Jaskier exclaimed.
Geralt just laughed in response. It was infectious and soon enough Jaskier was laughing along. Once they’d calmed down he began to strum the strings of his beloved instrument gently, fiddling with the pegs to make sure it was in tune.
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the subject, Geralt.” Jaskier spoke softly as Geralt’s laughter faded away.
“Right.”
“Geralt!” He all but whined. “You said you needed to ask me something. Come on! The suspense is killing me.”
Geralt hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll finally get some peace.”
“Now hang on!” Jaskier gasped in offence. “You rang me!”
“Regretting it already.”
“I’ll hang up!” Jaskier warned.
“No. You won’t.”
Jaskier sighed. “No. I won’t, but honestly Geralt. Is something wrong? Not that I’m not delighted to be talking to you, but…”
“But you’re Ciri’s teacher.” Geralt finished.
“Yes.”
It was a topic that had come up a few times. They weren’t doing anything wrong exactly. The friendship that had sparked up between them came as natural as breathing. They argued as if they’d known each other their whole lives, an easy banter that was unpracticed and yet almost flawless. Jaskier was fighting his attraction to Geralt the whole time, and he was sure the other man was doing the same with him but there was still this cloud looming over them. The line between professional and appropriate behaviour between parent and teacher.
He knew teachers and parents had hooked up before. It was scandalous and often the topic of vicious rumours in the staffroom. If it was reported to the headmaster and proven those teachers got in a lot of trouble, some of them were often asked to resign. Jaskier knew his professional relationship with Stregobor was rocky at best. He couldn’t afford to make a mistake.
But he was falling in love with Geralt, hard and fast.
It had moved beyond infatuation the moment he’d sat in the fire engine and they’d began to talk. The more he learnt about the man, the more he fell in love. Geralt was a complex man. He struggled to express himself and he constantly worried about being a good father to Ciri, but he was kind and loyal to his family. He had a surprisingly quick tongue that never failed to make Jaskier cackle. He wasn’t a pushover either, he was strong-willed and relentless in sticking to his own morals.
His determination to be a good man made Jaskier feel all fuzzy inside.
This strong and handsome man was just a gentle giant, one that could absolutely kill him given the chance, but there was just something about Geralt that made Jaskier trust him.
It was probably those eyes.
He adored Geralt’s eyes.
They were so unusual, like swirling pools of amber brought to life by bright beams of dazzling sunlight.
And that was why it was so important that their calls and meetings had to remain professional.
Without the guise of Ciri or work then their friendship was ruined. Jaskier would fall head over heels in love with Geralt and then…
and then…
He’d have to break it off.
He couldn’t risk it.
Even if there was a chance that Geralt fancied him back.
So he constantly reminded himself that they were friends and managed to frame every meeting or conversation they had as a work based thing. It was imperative that he didn’t forget that.
Friends only, and even then he really should be careful. Tissaia was right. Stregobor was just looking for an excuse to get rid of him and if he was shown to be favouring Geralt ,and in turn Ciri, too much then he might as well start looking for a new job.
He closed his eyes and mentally chastised himself for being a fool.
“So talk to me Geralt.” Jaskier pleaded. “What did you need? Did Ciri say something?”
Geralt just grunted again.
“I told you it’s not stupid.” Jaskier sighed. “It was obviously important to you.”
“It’s for Ciri.” Geralt stated bluntly. All traces of their easy laughter was now gone from his voice.
“Good. I am her teacher, what does she need? Did she say something?” Jaskier’s mind instantly recalled every interaction he’d had with the young ashen-haired girl over the last few days, looking for moments where he might have upset her or said something wrong. He couldn’t think of anything but he could have easily misread the situation.
“We went to Lambert’s for Solstice.” Geralt added.
Jaskier frowned trying to follow Geralt’s train of thought and failing. He stayed silent, waiting for Geralt to find the right words.
“He likes this band and Ciri just started screaming.”
Jaskier felt his heart skip a beat in his chest.
A band.
It wouldn’t be.
It couldn’t be.
Barely anyone even listened to his band. They barely had a thousand views online for their most popular song.
“She swears to the gods it’s you, Jask.” Geralt finished.
Jask.
It wasn’t the first time Geralt had called him that. He hated it. It made his heart do weird things in his chest that was not appropriate when talking to a friend.
He took a page out of Geralt’s book and hummed noncommittally. “Right.”
“And then Lambert pointed out Ciri’s Ukulele teacher is called Priscilla just like Dandelion’s bandmate. I thought it was all just a coincidence, but then I realised, Jaskier, Buttercups.” Geralt added, sounding weary. “Dandelions. All flowers.”
“Ah.”
“Jaskier?”
His fingers stilled on the lute strings. He pressed down with the palm of his hand to dampen the resonating sound. “It’s, well, it’s sort of a hobby?”
“You’re Dandelion?” Geralt stammered.
“Hello?” He tried to joke. “Nice to meet you.”
“Fuck.” Geralt swore loudly. “We all told Ciri she was wrong.”
“And now you’ll have to tell her she was right. That’s embarrassing for you.”
“Shut up, Jaskier.”
Jaskier scowled. “Hey! None of that grumpy firefighter stuff. It’s not my fault you didn’t trust your daughter!”
Geralt growled and hung up the phone.
Jaskier gaped at the blank screen.
“Oh no you don’t!” He rang Geralt straight back and to his surprise, he actually picked up.
“I’m sorry!” Jaskier said before Geralt could say anything. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Hmm.”
“Well. I did mean that’s it not my fault and I don’t know why you’re cross that I have a band, but I shouldn’t have said that about Ciri.” He rambled on.
Geralt still didn’t answer. Jaskier had to check the screen to make sure he was still on the line, quickly putting it back onto speaker. “So I’m sorry. I can explain to her tomorrow at school, about the band. Although, you really should be able to admit your mistakes. I know it’s not always easy.”
“Hold on.” Geralt said and then was a thud. Jaskier assumed that was Geralt putting the phone down. He could hear footsteps and the sound of a door opening. He held his breath whilst Geralt did whatever Geralt needed to do.
He picked his lute back up again and began to play. The notes flowed easily this time, the same tune as before. He grinned and scribbled the notes down onto the coffee stained page of manuscript. He got so caught up in the music he didn’t hear Geralt enter the room on the other side of the line, and this time he wasn’t alone.
“Mr Jaskier?” Ciri sounded exhausted. Geralt had probably just woken her up given the time.
Jaskier blushed and thanked Freya that the young girl couldn’t see him.
Ciri wasn’t supposed to know they’d been talking more outside of school in case she got confused or the wrong idea. Why was Geralt involving her?
Unless the wrong idea… was the right idea?
He swallowed nervously.
“Hello Buttercup!” He put on his best teacher voice, smiling brightly even though she couldn’t see him.
“Dad said you needed to tell me something. That it couldn’t wait.” Ciri asked in a small voice. “Did I do something wrong, Mr Jaskier?”
“Of course not Ciri!” Jaskier reassured her. “Geralt just wanted to ask me about the band your Uncle Lambert likes.”
“In the middle of the night?” Ciri groaned.
“Well…” Jaskier searched for a good explanation.
“It’s not as late for adults.” Geralt suggested.
Which wasn’t entirely true. Jaskier had to be up early for work and he was exhausted from his late night the day before. Geralt would have to up early too to get Ciri to school on time. They both needed to get to bed soon but there wasn’t a better explanation.
“Hmm.” Ciri hummed starting to pick up on some of Geralt’s mannerisms.
“Your father said you thought that Dandelion sounded like me?” Jaskier asked cautiously.
Ciri gasped and squealed excitably. “It sounded exactly like you Mr Jaskier! But everyone else said it was impossible and then Dad said my guitar teacher was called Priscilla and Uncle Lambert said a naughty word and apparently you are Dandelion, which I already knew because I’d already told them it was you and then Dad said a naughty word!”
Jaskier chuckled. “I am, indeed, Dandelion.”
“Of course you are!” Ciri answered completely certain in her assessment.
“But I need you to keep that quiet. Have you told any of your friends yet?” Jaskier asked.
“You have to speak, Ciri, he can’t see you.” Geralt answered softly.
“Nope.”
Jaskier sighed in relief, his band wasn’t exactly child friendly and he didn’t want it getting out that he’d inadvertently taught his whole class how to swear like a sailor. “Can you keep it to yourself, Ciri?”
“Yes, but why?” Ciri asked.
Jaskier ran his hand through his hair as he tried to think of a good way to explain. “Umm….”
“The band is something Mr Jaskier does outside of school. It’s good to keep work and play separate, Princess.” Geralt answered for him.
“Will you still play for us?” Ciri asked.
Jaskier laughed. “Of course I will, Ciri. It wouldn’t be Buttercups without song time!”
Ciri seemed to consider that. “Good. Dara likes it. Everyone else assumes he can’t listen to music but he can. Dara said he can hear it through the vibe…vibe—”
“Vibrations?” Jaskier suggested.
“Vibrations!” Ciri agreed “and he can still understand the words. He likes that you don’t treat him differently.”
Jaskier almost sobbed. That was probably one of the sweetest things his kids had ever said to him.
“I’m tired now. I’m going back to bed. Goodnight Mr Jaskier, Goodnight Dad!” He heard Ciri’s footsteps patter away.
“Fuck me.” Jaskier sighed and Geralt chuckled. “She’s a good kid.”
“The best.” Geralt agreed. “I should go too.”
“No hanging up this time?” Jaskier teased.
Geralt hummed in response.
“Goodnight, Geralt. Sleep well.”
“Night, Jaskier.”
Jaskier hit the end call button, his hands shaking in his lap.
“Fuck me…” He repeated under his breath and rubbed his eyes, smearing his glasses.
Geralt Rivia was going to be the death of him, and he would die happy.
______
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#the witcher#geraskier#geraskier fanfiction#geralt of rivia#jaskier pankratz#geralt x jaskier#jaskier x geralt#geralt z rivii#geralt/jaskier#modern au#essi daven#cirilla fiona elen riannon#ciri#dad geralt#fireman!geralt#teacher!jaskier#you set my heart ablaze#wolfie's witcher writing
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My esfp brother has recently started saying racist things, talking about how white men have it worse in this country than anyone, etc. I’m having a hard time dealing with it. I’m intp, so my instinct is to counter with a factual argument, but this is not an effective way to communicate. For one, he tends to see challenges or contradictions as personal hostility, even when they’re gently stated, and a debate usually ends up with him digging in, raising his voice, and resorting to statements (1)
[con’t: like “It’s just my opinion” or “You just hate me no matter what”. Secondly, he has a slippery relationship with facts and not a lot of philosophical integrity, so logical debate is pretty pointless; sources that confirm his argument are real and ones that don’t are Fake News, and he’ll also freely change his line even if it contradicts what he was arguing yesterday. For these reasons, our family doesn’t usually take the bait when he picks fights or says something outlandish (I think in our interactions, he’s motivated to be racist because he likes to provoke and knows it’s one of the few things he can say that will consistently get under my skin, and also because he thinks I look down on his alt-right friends (he’s right, though I’ve always tried to be diplomatic about why I find that worldview disagreeable). I don’t want to think my brother is a lost cause, and I don’t think he’s as invested in the ideology as some of his friends are at this point but I still don’t know what if anything I could do to get through to him. Any ideas?]
I often hear people say that they hope to have “a reasonable debate” about controversial issues, but then what they proceed to do is not debate but rather squabble, lecture, preach, proselytize, compete, or browbeat. You know that constructive debate (i.e. one that reaches a satisfying conclusion for both parties) can only happen under very specific conditions, including:
good faith: the willingness to give fair consideration to the opposing viewpoint as well as the willingness to allow fair critical examination of your own viewpoint
higher purpose: a commitment from both parties to seek out the truth and put it above personal ego and pride
critical reasoning: the ability to carefully construct and deconstruct arguments such that one can draw logically valid and sound conclusions
I’m not making any statement about you or your intentions. I think you’ve shown patience and restraint. I’m simply pointing out the fact that most people are not prepared to have a proper debate because they do not meet the conditions for being able to debate well. This matters in the sense that you should ask yourself whether it’s worth it for you to engage in debate with someone who is obviously not debating in good faith. This also matters in the sense that, if you are the person who isn’t able to engage in good faith, then you might be part of the problem in creating and continuing the conflict, despite whatever good intentions you possess.
I think many of us know someone who likes to be contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. Perhaps they like the drama of provoking people. Perhaps they like the feeling of being “special” in going against the grain or belonging to an “underdog” tribe. Perhaps they hide behind victim mentality (i.e. claiming “persecution” of their beliefs) because they don’t want to feel responsible/guilty for their ignorance or complicity. If someone is irrationally motivated to hold on to their beliefs, they’re not open-minded, in fact, they might even “debate” you just to use you as an excuse to double and triple down on their beliefs. It would be nice if everyone in the world were rational and came to their beliefs rationally and listened to reason all the time, but humans are just not that simple.
People at low levels of ego development have a very difficult time admitting when they’re wrong, often due to misplaced pride. Also, Fs use their moral beliefs to define who they are, which adds an additional obstacle to changing their mind. ESFPs are not particularly serious people, and that can be an advantage because it means that they are mentally flexible in terms of easily getting bored with any one idea. If you are right that your brother is only “flirting” with these beliefs and doesn’t actually believe in them wholeheartedly, then you should be careful about pushing him the wrong way. You don’t want to push him into a position where he is: 1) too embarrassed/ashamed/guilty to admit to being wrong, and 2) too personally identified with these beliefs to change his mind.
Fs are often insecure about their intellectual abilities, so perhaps it is difficult for you to understand how they feel when they have to admit to being wrong - it is a vulnerability for them that serves to harm their self-esteem. Different types have different vulnerabilities, but most people don’t like feeling vulnerable and do what they can to avoid it. Therefore, if you want to change someone’s mind, do it in a way that lets them maintain a sense of dignity in their vulnerability. In other words, make it easier rather than more difficult for someone to change their mind by being sympathetic (e.g. by creating a “we all mistakes” social atmosphere) rather than indulging the desire to humiliate or punish them for their mistakes.
If he’s just trying to provoke you to get your attention, then he’s not interested in debate, right? It’s a “game” that he plays with you, on repeat. ESFPs are mostly about having fun because they are easily bored, so perhaps this is his way to create some interesting drama between you, though it isn’t fun for you. If you take it too seriously, you push him into defending his beliefs, which has unintended consequences. Studies have shown that simply being asked to defend a belief for a few minutes leads people into identifying more strongly with it. Therefore, avoid putting him on the defensive too often, otherwise the beliefs get gradually subsumed into Fi, and then he really won’t budge.
Also, note that he may genuinely feel that he has it tougher as a guy, etc. Something that people often don’t understand is that inequality hurts everyone. It doesn’t hurt everyone equally, but it does hurt everyone in some way. For example, men also suffer from rigid gender expectations in that they are extremely limited in the ways they can express their identity. Maybe this is the point he’s trying but failing to make. If so, you’d do better to acknowledge the feeling itself while not agreeing with the subsequent conclusion/belief. Of course, you know that feelings do not equal fact, but he doesn’t, because FPs treat feelings as facts. You coming in to counter him with your facts doesn’t work because you’re ignoring that his beliefs don’t come from "fact” as you define it, rather, they come from his personal feelings. Instead of letting him bait you into conflict and invalidating his feelings, tell him that you respect his right to have his feelings/opinions, though you disagree.
Explicitly establish that you agree to disagree, and you stop playing your role in this game of his. Show people that you understand why they have their beliefs (despite them being wrong), or let them know that you will continue to love them (despite disagreeing with what they stand for). Then they have little reason to feel defensive and hold even tighter to their beliefs. When people approach you with the attitude of “winning” or getting the upper hand (though you have nothing in particular to lose), you should NOT join in and try to get the upper hand over them, because this will make it harder for them to change their mind, since they will perceive it as being “defeated” and then feel “inferior”. Leave people their pride by remaining as neutral about them as possible, then they are more likely to calm down and be reasonable.
Remember that Fs value relationships and, deep down, they often want nothing more than to be validated and loved. If they have psychological development issues, they may choose the wrong methods for seeking love and attention. In that case, it’s up to you to be the bigger person if possible and avoid playing their game of “bad attention is better than no attention”. He already knows your beliefs at this point, so there’s no need to debate him in circles over and over again. You can simply say that you disagree and leave it at that. If he suddenly shows the willingness and capacity to examine his beliefs, then by all means guide him. But, until then, don’t give him an excuse to engage in tribal mentality and fashion you into his enemy, especially when he’s already feeling “aggrieved”. Focus on the fact that he’s your brother and you care about him. Remember that “to err is human; to forgive, divine”. From there, your approach should be empathetic enough to create the space that is necessary for him to change his mind without losing too much face. It’s hard, but sometimes you have to admit that you can’t help people who don’t want help and/or you might not be the right person to help them at this time.
Yes, some beliefs are quite morally abhorrent and difficult to stomach. But the fact is that they exist out there. The point isn’t about eradicating them, it’s about trying to discover the best strategies for reducing the number of people who believe. One subject I came across in my studies was about people who had been politically radicalized and then later de-radicalized, e.g., incels, terrorists, white supremacists, etc. If you are interested, you might benefit from reading a book or watching a documentary about why people get radicalized so that you understand how it happens and how to avoid exacerbating the process.
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I’m realizing what some of my writing block is.
This is why I’ve decided to only write *adult market.* I can’t write YA. I can’t even write for people who want to read YA. The narrative demands of an audience that wants everything to be Young Adult, are like handcuffs. I can’t write within those boundaries, I just can’t.
I can’t even write for people who read Adult then get mad that it’s not YA. I can’t write even for younger readers of erotica. I can only write for people with roughly my same level of social experience who are coming from the same place, who don’t require their characters to be moral paragons, or who want to read something that is coming from a different place emotionally, or... for that matter... young people who prefer to read older work.
Long winded diatribe about some of my more difficult, culturally incorrect romantic narratives I’ve written, as an example of this problem.
In case you’re not going to read behind the read-more, no, I don’t write incest or pedo. (Doesn’t mean I won’t write a character who has experienced this if it comes up, I haven’t yet, but who knows. But I don’t write positive portrayals of it. I feel I need to write this disclaimer here.)
Looking at my writing - I have some scenes I’ve written that are very passionate. It’s basically an OC fanfic type of scenario, it’s writing I did that spun off of a game setting my characters were in for a very long time, about two characters who later ended up married. (And I often do this when game groups fall apart, I start writing about my characters.)
It’s some of my best writing, and I’ve often thought about filing the serial numbers off and cannibalizing this for some totally original setting.
In the piece I’m looking at, the characters haven’t jumped each other’s bones yet, but there is a strong attraction between two lonely, unattached coworkers that is growing into... outright longing. These are middle aged divorcees with children. They have navigated love and lust before. They have been adults at this point for a long time. They are both sexually experienced (her, in fact, much more than him).
It’s clear that they utterly want to rail each other from dusk to dawn until neither one of them can walk. Much of this is from the point of view of the male character. (And I LOVE writing het from the male point of view; it’s one of my favorite love/sex dynamics to write.)
They’re definitely conscious of this attraction and in their private thoughts that I’ve written, before the attraction is consummated, there’s definitely “strong crush” energy. These are experienced, sexually mature, middle aged people who are both divorcees with children and they definitely are guessing correctly about the other person’s attraction and interest. They’re imperfect people: they’ve made bad life choices in the past. They’re equals, but it’s never *explicitly pointed out.* He’s a hypermasculine (but not toxically) and badass warrior type, she’s an engineer. She is older than he is, but that never matters and never comes up any more than the fact that I’m 6 years older than my fiance, ever comes up in our relationship. All four of us are *middle aged people* and it is just not a topic of conversation. Another thing that’s “eh” by YA standards is that
The thing with how I portray and read erotic or romantic stuff, is that I am an older, experienced person, and I like stuff about older, experienced people. People who already know how to navigate these situations and don’t necessarily need everything spelled out.
The thing is, I almost feel like - because of changing sexual mores - I can only write for people over 40 unless I totally rewrite the way everything goes and even the emotional temperature of their early relationship.
Even though it’s very clear that my characters are absolutely mutually into each other, and it would be clear to any experienced person who navigates body language, I would have to navigate a whole new set of mores around having to outright spoonfeed my audience - we are really into tell don’t show now, we are really into long winded prefaces to everything explaining how everyone involved is really a good person, and I notice that there’s so little comprehension of nuance or subtlety now, things have to be spelled out, one character reading another person’s body language and flirting at a subtler level would be considered gross and against the present day’s mores around consent. My characters ultimately end up making out and going to bed and they never, ever talk about it and they never process it. The establishment of consent is very, very brief and amounts to one middle aged horny person basically saying “wanna fuck” to another middle aged horny person (personally, my absolute favorite way to start a relationship, that’s how my current and best relationship started, 10/10 highly recommend) and, 12 hours later, the other person pulling them into their hotel room. It’s the kind of establishment of consent that you would’ve seen in an older work and it’s not a particularly complicated dance. I didn’t write this work for public consumption outside of a handful of people and perhaps if I did, maybe I would have written it differently because I’d have to assume that “show don’t tell” doesn’t work on audiences who don’t read nuance, I don’t know. Also, in the lead up to the two characters doing the do, they totally sexually objectify each other in their heads. They think about how much they’d really, really like to pounce on each other. And this is... objectifying, or something.
I always portray consent but there’s never a complicated ritual around it. I don’t enjoy writing that. Also, I really enjoy writing and reading stuff with spontaneous passion. I LOVE stuff where it’s even a little over the top.
But the big thing that seems to have changed? The big social more? It feels like you’re not really allowed to show your characters crushing too hard, or desiring too much. They’re certainly never allowed to have frustrating desire or one-sided attractions. (I’ve written lots of those. How the character acts on it or doesn’t, is going to depend upon what type of character I’m writing. I have a couple of one sided best friend crush types of dynamics that I’ve written, usually it’s same sex and incompatible sexual orientation.)
Characters are not really allowed to be horny and there seems to be a general disgust with horniness. Which is difficult to navigate because I love horny work, about horny people. I love stuff about crushes and frustrated limerence.
Also? I even love forbidden romance and forbidden sex and sometimes, and even characters doing things they’re Not Supposed To Do. (I think this is why so many people in my age group are into crime fiction, stuff about illicit affairs, etc.) I have the standard legal and moral limits, but yes I will even read about characters cheating on their spouses. It doesn’t mean I condone what the character is doing or want to do it, and it’s satisfying to see how the situation resolves. (It has to have consequences or it’s just not believable.)
But even age differences between grown ass adults and massive social differences don’t bother me. I love reading and writing common and royal, rich and poor, people from forbidden and different social worlds.
I’m presently writing something in which a young (but adult) witch is married to an immortal god, and finds out she’s one of millions of his brides through history, and hundreds in the present time. And she is going to stay married to him because that’s part of, in my world, being the type of witch she is. OF COURSE there’s a power difference because HE’S A GOD. The story also spends a lot of time with her as a child, because I write CRADLE TO GRAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I love to spend a character’s entire life with them, from the time they’re born to the time they die.
But leaving that aside. The sweetest and most tender romance I’ve ever written, involved a sad 50something man and a 25ish year old woman. I was in my 20s when I wrote this. I had lived with the male character in my head for a long time and knew him inside and out. I was delighted when I realized that sparks were flying between him and another character, I’d lived through this character’s life story and its long history of unhappy self-sacrifice, and I decided to follow to see where it led... and it was delightful! I decided to let him have the happy ending. He deserved it after all of this time.
She was the initiator of the relationship. She’s in love with him. He is a widower who’s lost everything and now he has a chance to rebuild his life and start a family with this new person. She has other suitors but wants him. She gets pregnant. But it’s narratively a blessing. She wants him, she wants their child, and he’s delighted (especially since his late wife and child are dead), it’s a matrilineal culture, she and the child will stay on the land with her family after he dies. This is a blessing for him. They’re on her family’s land and he’s an exile with no home. She is NOT a Literal Child; she is a grown-ass adult with her own agency, who is sexually experienced, and who has born a lot of responsibility, and is in a prominent social position. His existence is at the mercy of her family, though they keep him around because of his knowledge and abilities. He is the one who doesn’t initiate the relationship, because he’s conscious of the age difference and feels like an old fool, and worries she’ll tire of him one day. Who has the power?
Also, he’s a “fish out of water” from another (completely fictitious) culture who ends up totally living among, and assimilating into, this new culture, and basically living out the rest of his life among them, with his bride and their children. And that’s something that isn’t supposed to happen, right?
(Writers whose characters just show up in their heads, will relate to this. I don’t even pick my characters’ love interests.)
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@nerdgatehobbit Hey! Thanks for the question! Ik you asked this to my main but imma respond on my SW blog if that’s okay?
So whew that’s a big question. Do I honestly think that Dave kept Obi Wan and Padmé and then Anakin and Satine from interacting in the TCW show because they didn’t want shipping wars?
(Remember, these are all just my personal opinions. I do me and you do you!)
Short version? Yes and no. Long version? Under the cut because I can never shut up.
Firstly, I don’t wanna say this was all Dave’s decision. He was one of the top guys in charge of TCW, yes, but he was far from the only one, there was an entire creative team working on the project, and during the time of TCW’s original six seasons Lucasfilms was not owned by Disney yet and George Lucas himself had a very large amount of creative control over the entire show. So I don’t really think it’s fair at all to point fingers at any choices the show made and go “yep that’s completely 100% Dave’s fault alone”.
I also don’t quite think they were concerned about shipping wars in the way ATLA had them. Avatar’s shipping wars were so absolutely toxically rancid that they legit drove me right out of that fandom. I’m still hesitant to come back during the current renaissance because of them. Star Wars, prior to the Sequel Trilogy, never had shipping wars close to that calibre of pure nastiness. The fandom was a godawful cesspool that fought to the death on most aspects of the franchise, this has always been true, but shipping, if I’ve read right, was somehow never really one of those hot button issues within fandom. I don’t think Lucasfilms kept the Clone Wars four apart because they were afraid of fans fighting over ships.
That being said, Lucasfilms HAS always been Very Strict on how they want their characters to be seen, romantic-wise, way back to when they would terrorize Original Trilogy slash shippers back in the 80’s and 90’s with threats of legal action. It’s part of why they were Very Firm in their insistence that they had absolutely nothing to do with all the Luke/Mara Jade EU stuff. You either abided by LF’s canonical romances or not at all in their world. So yes, in the case of Obi Wan and Padmé, I absolutely think the writing team’s decision to keep the pair of them apart was almost entirely so fans didn’t ship them together.
Why do I think this? Because there is no other rational reason why Obi Wan and Padmé haven’t had a single second of screentime in TCW that hasn’t had either Anakin or Satine also in the room as a buffer. Not when Revenge of the Sith EXPLICITLY portrays their relationship as relatively close friends who care about each other. So nope, I genuinely think the show just doesn’t want the fans to consider any other relationship for Padmé besides Anakin.
But why would they do this just to her and Obes? Obi Wan and Padmé both have other friends of different genders, why don’t they worry about us shipping THEM? Well for Obi Wan’s case, it can be excused that he flirts with everyone, so we’re conditioned to think that it’s never anything serious, and none of the other characters are married to the main character of the series. This is entirely because of Padmé’s position. Yes, she has other male friends, but either they’re nonhuman and not conventionally attractive so the series doesn’t see them as a threat, they’re Clovis, who they actively show Anakin going into a jealous fit over, or they’re Bail, who can be excused by the fact that he’s already married and also because he’s never actively shown as in competition with Anakin for anything, so he’s not threatening either.
Obi Wan, on the other hand, is a major threat to Anidala in the show’s eyes. They already constantly make a point to compare him and Anakin in almost every opportunity. Which is strange, the show’s decision to force them into the role of narrative foils to each other when in the movies that isn’t the case at all— Obi Wan is much more of a foil to Sidious and Anakin’s foil is Luke —but yeah, the show very often has Obes and Ani going through similar situations with competing viewpoints— ESPECIALLY their canon romances, and I won’t rant about how the show’s attempted Anidala and Obitine parallels fall apart under scrutiny right now but if yinz want the rant sometime let me know.
Obi Wan also has the canonical ability to charm the pants off of literally everyone he meets. Nearly everyone in canon is in love with him, 80% of the fandom at least is in love with him, and I KNOW most of the crew was in love with him too. Anakin, on the other hand, has a very abrasive personality and is much easier to dislike. The show was ALREADY terrified of the fans not liking or wanting to root for Anakin to the point that they reworked his entire personality to make him more palatable to his critics from the movies. Plus, Obidala fans already existed! Since the first and second PT movies, a big group of people already shipped these two because they already thought Obi Wan was a preferable match to Padmé than Anakin. The studio did not want to encourage this.
So yes, I think it was a combination of the show’s tendency to already try and get the fans to compare Obi Wan to Anakin for everything else plus their insecurity in Anakin’s image and likeability as it was, that they did Not want the handsome charming not-future-evil guy around the leading lady and threatening her canon romance by existing as a possibly better option. So Obi Wan and Padmé got no stories together, just kinda throwing the opening ROTS left them in the garbage ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The worst part is, there is so many potential places in TCW where Obi Wan and Padmé could talk to each other, like during her investigation into her friend’s murder, during the Clovis arc, bits during the Malevolence arc, the earlier Naboo crisis arcs, even the one time where she’s just hosting a damn party and wants to invite her friends gahhhhhhhh
Anakin and Satine, I also think yes, but this is also a case of half and half because Satine isn’t nearly as major a character as the other three are, and out of the nine episodes she appears in, she only has more than a singular line in seven of them, and out of those seven, only two of them aren’t revolves entirely around building her relationship with Obi Wan. So really, there is a defence for the writers here in noting that there’s not as much room to explore Satine’s character as it is, let alone trying to shoehorn in a scene with Anakin.
Except no, I’m not gonna give them that defence because in the two episodes where she only has a speaking line or less— Obi Wan’s funeral and the Ahsoka and Lux meet Death Watch ep —I can already easily think of ways she and Anakin could have really meaningful interactions in them both. Y’all have already heard my bit on how they could have a real important conversation at the funeral, but y’all HAVEN’T seen my idea for a rewrite of the Carlac ep where it’s a two-parter, Anakin comes with Ahsoka and Padmé to the negotiations on Mandalore, and it ends up with a subplot of Anidala chasing after Ahsoka and Lux with Satine as the put-upon third wheel and we get foreshadowing to Satine being Bo Katan’s sister, so when the reveal happens the next season it actually means something.
So yeah, it was partially because of timing constraints, but it was also DEFINITELY in part because they didn’t want Satine being shipped with Anakin— which ppffffft, if they were brave enough to actually try writing these two in a conversation in-character, they’d understand how much of a not-worry this would be xD —because the show is set on the fact that despite maybe there being other flings at some point, Obi Wan and Satine are each other’s one true tragic love (Or, at least Obi Wan is Satine’s. He’s always had more freedom and decision than she has in this narrative, and that’s always kinda bugged me). So, that means Satine can’t interact with any men unless they’re gonna betray her trust and try to kill her by the end of the episode, because the show needs Obi Wan to have a loyal, steady, good girlfriend because he is a good man.
(And yes, before anyone says it, I have heard the more unpleasant rumors behind why exactly Obi Wan was given a girlfriend in the show, but as I’ve yet to see any official proof of them besides fandom salt, I’m not gonna spread them because those are hefty accusations to throw around).
So yeah, Satine can’t talk to Anakin partially because time constraints, but also because she isn’t allowed to talk to any other nice men besides Obi Wan and her son (no I don’t particularly like the Korkie Kenobi thing, but it is blatantly obvious that that is what the show was implying and I’m not gonna pretend otherwise), and Obi Wan and Padmé can’t talk to each other entirely because the show saw Obidala as a threat to Anidala.
Again, just my opinions and things I noticed, y’all are more than free to disagree and discuss with me.
#can i EVER answer someone’s question without going on an entire ranting spiel? stay tuned to find out lol#ask#asks#nerdgatehobbit#sw the clone wars#morai musings#our only ho#queen of my heart#peace out#one (1) hot mess
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hi this is literally the first post ive ever made to tumblr since im not a really social person but theres been something bothering me since RWBY V7E12 and i just need to LET IT GO.
It somewhat feels like Clover’s character was written by 2 different people who had different ideas for him and it’s this scene.
“I enjoyed working with you, you know. Even with that endless cynicism of yours.”
Like... I’m not the only one who felt this was out of character, right??? That scene was the only thing that seemed off to me when it comes to character inconsistency. This is from the same guy who said all of this to the same character.
Clover is very uplifting and generous to Qrow here, but the one comment on Qrow’s cynicism felt... off. These two scenes show that Clover isn’t afraid to speak his opinion, but him calling someone (especially Qrow) out for being “cynical” felt really weird to me. Clover has no reason to think of Qrow as cynical, and we as the audience had no reason to believe that Clover disliked that about Qrow either, because all their interactions prior to this episode have been extremely positive and friendly.
If Clover was supposed to be like Qrow’s opposite, they should’ve shown it more instead of giving us flirty and friendly interactions between the two. It really wouldn’t be that hard. One controversial comment about how Mantle was being handled with both of them having juxtaposing facial expressions would’ve been all I needed, they wouldn’t even need to talk, but no. Literally ALL of Qrow and Clover’s interactions together are positive, but in their fight scene, Clover’s kind of an asshole to Qrow when reminicing about how they were friends. You could argue that “cynicism” isn’t really an insult, but the way it was phrased and the context definitely made it seem like it was. Y’all have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about this ONE PARTICULAR line and it’s driving me crazy.
Clover jumping out of the aircraft first felt more in character than that particular scene alone. Oh yeah, I let this scene slide as “in character”.
Listen, I’m not really a hardcore shipper. Yeah, I like fair game, but I also knew that Qrow and Clover would most likely be friends with the media’s track record of LGBT+ representation. Even with the flirtatous interactions, I thought of them as flirting in a friendly way. I liked them as friends and Clover’s death and Qrow’s reaction still BROKE. MY. HEART. (Possibly due to all the fair game content I’ve been consuming oops). Normally I like giving shows the benefit of the doubt, and I did give RWBY some benefit of the doubt at first, but this was some next level shit.
Trying to wrap my head around what this accomplishes for Qrow’s character arc is impossible. Although they had numerous positive interactions, they BARELY had any interactions. They had ONE long interaction in the back of vehicle, and it was all wholesome, but they were hardly established as FRIENDS before V7E12. I’m not saying that this is or isn’t queerbaiting, but everyone who is arguing the basis that this wasn’t queerbaiting because they were never established to be gay are hypocrites. For all we know, they could’ve just been CO-WORKERS trying to pass the time and just happened to be together every time the camera panned on them. Let’s be real here, they only started throwing the word FRIEND around on V7E12, and it was used borderline manipulatively. Objectively, we had no reason to believe Qrow and Clover were anything more than co-workers who killed time together and joked around sometimes prior to V7E12, so how could you say Qrow was so upset over Clover’s death because they were “friends” when it wasn’t explicitly said they were until that very episode. Seems pretty FORCED to me (sound familiar?). I feel like this situation is comparable to Shiro in Voltron: Legendary Defender as it was very hard to tell that Shiro was gay prior to the ENDING of Voltron. Yes, we get a glimpse of Shiro’s lover, Adam, but we literally get ZERO indication that they had any romantic relationship going on (unless you followed Voltron on social media) and BARELY any indication that Shiro was gay until the ending. So yes, it is possible to queerbait and not be explicitly told in the show that the characters are GAY (Got a little offtopic there, sorry).
It’s really hard for be to believe that Clover’s death wasn’t for shock value. If his death was really meant to “test” Qrow’s newfound sobriety, their friendship should’ve been more obvious, impactful, and meaningful. But these two barely got screen time. Yes, they aren’t the main characters, team RWBY and JONR (is that what people call them? lol idk) are, but that brings the question why would you need to test the sobriety of a side character???
That being said, I don’t think CRWBY is “homophobic” or “queerbaiting” (I’m lowkey getting there, though) or “bury your gays” (I literally never heard of this term until this whole controversy came up so I’m not 100% sure on my stance on this) intentionally and I’m not accusing them of doing such on purpose. I very well can see how Qrow and Clover’s interactions could be seen as “just friends” as that’s how I interpreted them as at first too. Regardless of how you see the situation, please be polite and respectful to each other. I really hate when people use overexaggerated words like “fanatic” and “homophobe” so loosely. And don’t attack CRWBY. Seriously, shit ain’t cool.
Sorry, I tend to go on long tangents and repeat myself, LOL. Although I seem pretty sure of myself, I’d love to know what other people think about this, especially if you have an opposing opinion. I love talking about and analysing these sorts of things. Thanks for reading. 🥺💕
#rwby#rwby7#rwby volume 7 spoilers#clover ebi#qrow branwen#rant#i need to widen my vocabulary im so sorry#take this with a grain of salt pls#im dumb#fair game
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A little coffe with your sugar? part 2/2
Here is the second part of my Harringrove coffee shop AU. Enjoy ;)
Part 1
Read on AO3
Steve couldn’t believe he had forgotten to ask what was in the special before ordering it… and taking a huge bite of it, just because he had been flustered that his crush (that Steve thought totally unrequited until then) was flirting with him. It hadn’t helped that Billy had put the banana layer under the chocolate, so Steve hadn’t noticed there was one before it was literally in his mouth, trying to kill him. Steve felt betrayed. Baked goods were supposed to be his friends.
Billy waited with him after calling 911. He looked calm enough, but he was holding Steve’s hand very tightly. In any other circumstance, Steve would have been delighted about that, but his throat was swollen, and he was struggling to breathe, so it wasn’t the best time.
Thankfully, the paramedics arrived quickly and injected Steve with epinephrine. They took him to the hospital, and Billy rode with him in the ambulance, never letting go of his hand. His eyes looked suspiciously shiny.
“Hey, I’ll be fine, Billy. They’re just taking me to the hospital for observation. That’s the usual procedure after an anaphylactic reaction. Thankfully, my parents insist on paying for an overpriced insurance in my name, so I’ve got it covered.”
They were doing it mostly to patronize Steve for choosing a job that didn’t have “good benefits”, unlike a job at his father’s company would have, but Billy didn’t need to hear about that.
“That… that’s good.” Billy exhaled shakily. “It was fucking scary.”
“I know, but it’s okay now.”
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry, I should have told you what the special was.”
“Come on, I’m the one responsible, obviously. I should have asked. I generally remember to, I was just distracted.”
“So, it is my fault: you didn’t think to ask because I was messing with you.”
Oh… so that was all it had been? Billy had just been messing with him? Steve should have known, really. Billy had probably caught on to Steve’s crush and thought he’d have a little fun.
That thought was nearly as much as a bummer as the allergic reaction.
“Look, Billy, it was all an accident, and it was my fault. You couldn’t possibly have known.”
“If you say so…” Billy replied, but he didn’t look convinced.
The rest of the trip to the hospital was spent in silence. Steve was busy enjoying the feel of Billy’s hand in his while he still could, since he was pretty sure it wouldn’t happen again, and Billy was seemingly lost in thought.
At the hospital, Billy texted Robin to let her know about what had happened and he informed Steve she’d be there soon.
When she arrived, Billy apologized again (the stubborn bastard) and bid Steve goodbye. Steve whished he’d stay, but now that Robin was there he had no reason to. It was nice enough that he had interrupted his work day to accompany Steve in the first place.
“Stop pouting, it’s unbecoming.” Robin told him.
Steve hadn’t even noticed he was making a face.
“Cut me some slack, I could have died today.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s a low blow, dingus.”
It might have been, but Steve didn’t care. He was feeling miserable.
“So, what happened?” Robin asked.
Steve cleared his throat. “Uh… well… I… Turns out there were bananas in today’s special…”
“And how come you weren’t aware of that? I’m sure Billy knows what ingredients he puts in his baking.”
Steve wanted to lie to save himself from the embarrassing truth, but he couldn’t come up with any explanation. He was tired, alright?
“I… I didn’t ask… what was in it.”
“How in the world did you forget something so important?”
Could Robin give him a break? He’d just gone through a traumatic experience. She was being mean! Steve crossed his arms over his chest.
“My mind was somewhere else.” That’s it Steve, stay vague. You’ve got this.
Robin arched an eyebrow. “Where was that, exactly?”
Ugh, she wouldn’t let it go.
“Well… Billy might have somehow flirted with me, and it got me flustered. What can I say? I’m just a man. You can’t blame me.”
Robin sighed. “Ah, Steve. My dear friend. My favorite dingus. You are a disaster.”
“That’s rude.” Steve whined.
“Maybe, but that’s also true.”
He didn’t have anything to say in his defense. It really was true.
“Billy flirted with you though. That’s good!”
Robin had known Steve was crushing on Billy ever since Steve himself knew (which was to say, since the moment he met Billy).
“Not really. He only flirted as a joke, so…”
“What makes you say that?”
“The fact that Billy explicitly said he was messing with me, for starters.”
“Oh… That’s weird.”
Robin looked confused, which was new. Steve had never seen her confused about anything. Unlike himself, Robin seemed to know what she was doing at all time. She generally had things figured out, and Steve was lowkey impressed by that.
“Why?”
“Oh… uh… It’s just… I had the feeling Billy liked you back, is all.”
Steve scoffed.
“As if. Have you met him? He barely tolerates me, on good days.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Steve. Sure, he can be a bit gruff sometimes, but that doesn’t mean he ‘barely tolerates’ you. Don’t be overdramatic.”
“I’m not.” Steve denied half-heartedly. He didn’t know why he even bothered.
*
After the allergy incident, Steve steered clear of the Upside-Down café, no matter how many times Robin tried to drag him there. He pretended not to miss it, but he was: he’d been moping for weeks.
He needed sugar as well as his weekly dose of Billy. He could get the sugar somewhere else, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Billy made the best treats. Steve would die for one of his cinnamon rolls right now. He groaned.
Robin, who was sprawled on the couch next to him, reading a book while Steve was grading papers, sighed loudly.
“Ugh, I’ve had it with you, dingus. Just get your ass to the Upside-Down and talk to Billy. You’ve been miserable for ages and I can’t stand it anymore.”
She was shooting daggers at Steve with her eyes.
“Rob, we’ve been over this… I just can’t. I’m too embarrassed. I mean, the guy mock-flirted with me and it made me so dumb I forgot to ask about allergens. He left work to come with me to the hospital, just because he felt obligated or something. That’s mortifying. I can’t ever face him again.”
“And here you are, being overdramatic again.”
Steve stuck his tongue out at her, behaving as maturely as one of his pupils.
*
Steve ended up caving. Robin was nothing if not persistent. The fact that Steve missed the Upside-Down’s baked goods acted in her favor.
It went surprisingly fine. Heather was at the counter, as she almost always was, and Billy didn’t come out of the kitchen while Robin and Steve were there. Steve was slightly disappointed, but mostly relieved. Robin, however, was in a sour mood.
“What’s with you?” Steve asked, simultaneously stuffing his face with food. It was even better than he remembered.
“Nothing… I’m just annoyed.”
“Is there something wrong with you and Heather?”
Their interaction earlier had sounded a bit stilted.
“You know what? Yes, there is. I’m going to talk to her to… you know… clear the air. If you don’t mind…”
“Of course, I don’t mind. Go for it.” Steve said, taking another bite of his cinnamon roll.
Robin went behind the counter and started whispering frantically with Heather.
Steve swore he heard them mentioning some guy. Were they fighting because of a man? No, there was no way. Robin and Heather were the gayest girls to ever gay, and they were also made for each other, so it didn’t compute.
At some point, they both turned toward Steve, which made him realize he’d been staring. He averted his eyes and hid his face in his giant hot chocolate cup, nearly chocking on the liquid.
They got back to whispering for a few seconds and then stopped abruptly. Robin came back to their table and sat down heavily.
“I take it you didn’t solve the issue?”
“Not really, no. But we’re going solve it, alright.” Robin replied.
Well, that was enigmatic. Either that or Steve had missed something. It wouldn’t be the first time…
“Ok… good for you, I guess?”
“You’ve got some icing on your chin, dingus.” Robin pointed out, effectively changing the subject.
Steve blushed and rubbed his chin with the back of his hand. He was lucky Billy, whom he was still very much crushing on despite everything, had not been there to witness that. Not that it would change much, since Steve’s chances were already ruined (or, more accurately, had been nonexistent to begin with)… but still, Steve had dealt with enough embarrassment where Billy was concerned.
*
Steve started going to the Upside-Down regularly again. At first, he would only go once in a while, and only if Robin went with him, but the frequency of his visits increased when he felt confident that he wouldn’t see Billy. He never came out of the kitchen when Steve was there.
Either Steve’s allergy had made him realize Steve was a disaster from which he’d better stay far away, or it was a coincidence that Billy was occupied when Steve came to the café. The first option was more probable, unfortunately.
And, Steve was mostly fine, even if he missed seeing Billy. The food was still great, and Heather was nice, and at least no one judged him for the amount of sugar he poured in his hot beverages… or if they did, they did it discreetly.
However, it came to a head, one day. One very bad, terrible day. One of Steve’s pupils had broken his leg during recess, which was awful enough, but then the other kids had been unable to concentrate for the rest of the day, whispering among themselves and fidgeting continuously. Steve couldn’t blame them for that, but he was exhausted, nonetheless. And he was as shaken up as his pupils, after the accident. By the end of the day, he was barely functioning. He had tripped on his undone shoelaces and snapped his glasses in two (he had fixed them with tape, but the result left a lot to be desired), and he had a cut on his forehead from when he hit it on his desk after picking up the pen he had dropped on the floor.
Steve was more than ready for this hellish day to be over, but no such luck. His parents insisted he ate dinner with them on the fifteenth of each month, which was precisely that day. They’d proceed to pretend caring about him while criticizing him at every turn, and all that through a seemingly unending meal. It was the same damn thing, every month. Steve didn’t know why he still showed up. It must have had to do with his aversion to conflict.
Steve would never survive this without caffeine, so he stopped at the Upside-Down on his way home from work.
“Wow, what the hell happened to you?”
He knew he looked a bit worse for wear, but it couldn’t be that bad. Could it?
“Hi, Heather.”
“Oh yeah, sorry, hi Steve. Are you okay?” Concern was etched upon her face.
“Yeah… I’m fine.” Steve lied. “It was just a rough day.”
“Certainly looks that way... What can I get you to make it better?”
“Er, double expresso, please.”
Heather looked even more concerned as she rang Steve up. That was far off from what he usually ordered, so he didn’t blame her for being puzzled. He was tired, and depressed, and just needed a boost to go through dinner with his parents without a nervous breakdown. He simply couldn’t be bothered to come up with anything more elaborated, and, anyway, he couldn’t really order a pastry and hot chocolate barely an hour before he was expected to eat a five-course meal.
“Okay, go sit down, I’ll bring it to you.”
“Thank you.”
Steve went to his usual table, and he definitely heard it when Heather went to the kitchen and yelled at Billy to come see Steve. He also heard Billy answer in a lower voice that he just couldn’t.
It wasn’t as if Steve didn’t know Billy didn’t want to see him, but hearing him say it, especially now, was like a punch to the gut. At least, before, Steve could pretend Billy didn’t hate him.
When Heather brought him his double expresso, Steve thanked her again. And, if his voice cracked, it was nobody’s business but his.
“No problem, honey.” She said with a sad smile.
Great. Now, she was pitying him. Because Steve was pitiful.
Once she was back behind the counter, Steve took a sip of his drink and instantly regretted not ordering something with ten times more sugar in it (and to hell with dinner at his parents’).
Oh no.
Now he was crying.
Brilliant. That was just brilliant.
Steve started dabbing his face with a napkin, but the tears kept coming uncontrollably. He was going to get up and leave, because crying in public was not part of his plans for the day (and too many things had gone off plan already), but he was prevented from doing so when Billy put a tray on the table and sat in front of him. On the tray, there were a huge piece of lemon meringue pie, a cup of hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and marshmallows, and a sugar bowl.
Steve cried even harder. Nice gestures made him cry, sometimes. Especially when he was not in top shape.
“No, no, please don’t cry, Steve. It was meant to cheer you up, not make it worse.”
Billy pushed the tray toward him.
“Come on, eat up. Everything is banana-free, I promise.”
Steve laughed through his tears.
“Thanks. That’s nice of you.”
“I mean… I basically had to, Steve. Your order was too depressing. Like, a double expresso? Really? That’s not you.” Billy joked.
“Yeah… I have to agree with you here. What you brought is much better.”
Steve pulled the tray all the way to himself and took a bite of the pie. It tasted delicious, unsurprisingly.
“Man, that’s not fair. That’s just too good.”
“Uh, thank you.” Was that a blush on Billy’s face? Mh, no, probably not. It must have been a trick of the light. “So… what’s with the double expresso?”
Steve understood Billy’s question as what it was: a nice way of asking why he had broken down crying in the middle of the Upside-Down.
“Some shit happened at the school I work at. It was not the best day, is all. And now I have to go to my parents’ house for our monthly dinner, and I hate it. Hence the double expresso. I needed caffeine.”
“I see… That’s rough, man. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe another time.” Steve would surely start crying again if he had to expand on the events of that day.
“Okay. Did you think to disinfect that cut on your forehead?”
“Oh, yes. One of my coworkers did it for me.” It had stung like a bitch, too, but what could you do?
“That’s good, Pretty boy.”
“Don’t call me that.” The words were out of Steve’s mouth before his brain could catch up with his mouth.
“Oh… sure. Sorry.” Billy passed a hand in his curls. “Do you want me to go?”
“No, no… I didn’t mean to snap, I’m sorry. I just don’t like it when you call me this, but we’re fine as long as you don’t.”
It was only half a lie. Indeed, if Steve did like the nickname itself, he didn’t appreciate Billy using it as a joke. There was no need to rub Steve’s crush in his face. Steve didn’t understand Billy’s deal. One second he was really sweet, bringing him hot chocolate and pie to cheer him up, and the next he’d call Steve Pretty boy as if he hadn’t admitted he’d come up with the nickname just to mess up with him.
“I won’t.”
Not wanting to let an awkward silence settle, Steve asked Billy about his day. Billy then proceeded to tell him about the annoying customer they had a few hours earlier. It successfully distracted Steve from his horrendous day until he had to go, lest he arrive late to his parents’, which would without a doubt warrant a lecture from his father, as if Steve was sixteen instead of twenty-five.
That evening, as Steve’s father ranted for the umpteenth time about his job, Steve only had to think about the blue of Billy’s eyes to make his frustration and feeling of inadequacy evaporate like smoke.
*
After Steve’s breakdown, Billy started coming out of the kitchen again to see Robin and Steve when they were at the Upside-Down. Steve and he were friendly to each other, and it was somewhat worse than when they never saw each other. This was torture. Billy was here but still out of reach, and Steve was pining. That was what Robin said. She was right, but Steve would not admit it. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. Pettiness was his only comfort, so he didn’t plan on reigning it in.
“Come on Steve, you should just tell him you like him.”
“Are you nuts? Why would I ever do that?”
“Well, at least you’ll know for sure.”
“I can’t be any surer than I am right now, Rob.”
“Ugh! Like, yeah you’re sure, but you’re wrong! You stubborn bastard.”
Steve rolled his eyes. Robin kept saying he might have misread the signs, but she had no proof of that. Or, if she had, she wasn’t willing to share it with the class.
“Yeah, okay, I’m wrong. Whatever. At least I have some dignity left.”
Not much, after the allergy AND the breakdown, but still a little bit more than he would if he confessed his already obvious crush to Billy only to get rejected even more explicitly than before.
“You’re so infuriating, Steve, I swear.”
“I love you too.” He just said, getting drinks out of the fridge.
They were waiting for Heather, whom Robin had invited to their movie night. Steve had not been eager to spend the entire evening third wheeling, but he was reconsidering. At least, Heather would get Robin off his back by taking all of her attention. It sounded perfect, right then.
At least, that was what Steve thought before he opened his front door to find not only Heather, but also Billy, behind it.
Robin, that fucking traitor!
He hid his surprise (probably badly) and invited them inside. As soon as they had their backs turned to him, Steve glared at Robin. He was also pouting, though, so it might have ruined his attempt at expressing his righteous anger.
“Sorry for tagging along… Heather said you didn’t mind. I brought cranberry white chocolate chips cookies, and also chocolate truffles.” Billy said, putting the two boxes he was carrying on the kitchen table.
Okay, so Steve had indeed not hidden his surprise well.
“Uh… yeah, yeah, of course it’s fine. Thanks for bringing food. It sounds delicious.” Steve rushed out the words, speaking a tad too fast.
Once the pizza Steve and Robin had ordered arrived, they all went to the living-room and set the food and drinks on the coffee table.
“Oooh, we’re watching Lights Out? That’s cool. I wanted to watch it for a long time but never got around to it.” Heather said.
Billy’s face lost all color.
“Oh… right. That’s… cool.” His voice was slightly higher than usual.
“Are you sure? We can watch something else, if you’re not into that kind of things.”
High-school Steve would have made fun of Billy for being a sissy. Fuck high-school Steve, though. That guy was a grade A asshole.
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s fine.” Billy assured in a clipped tone.
Steve hoped he hadn’t offended him with his question. It was the opposite of his goal.
Heather and Robin curled up together in Steve’s big, comfy chair, which left the couch to Billy and him. Steve tried to focus on the movie, but at first he was more focused on the food, and then he was more focused on Billy, who was sitting straight and looked pretty tense overall.
Every time a loud sound came from the tv, or something appeared suddenly on the screen, Billy would startle. Of course, it was the point of jumpscares, but Billy’s reactions were more violent than most people’s.
“Are you okay, Billy?”
“Yes. Just the fucking jumpscares… they’re annoying.”
Steve wasn’t convinced Billy was alright, but he kept silent. He didn’t want to put Billy on the spot by insisting.
About halfway through, Billy announced he was going for a smoke break and declined Heather’s offer to pause the movie. Steve waited a minute, at most, before following Billy outside. He found him sitting on the front steps of his building, without a cigarette in sight.
“Hey… Sorry I followed you.”
“It’s okay. I… I should have agreed when you suggested we watch something else. I just thought I’d be fine, for once. It’s just a movie, you know. But, like, I’m just too jumpy to deal with this kind of movies. I don’t like loud noises and shit.”
Billy was bouncing his right leg. Steve sat down next to him on the stairs and put his hand over his knee to settle him.
“I get it, you don’t have to explain yourself. Jumpscares are a cheap way to frighten the audience, anyway. We could have gone for a better movie. We can get back to the flat and watch something else if you want, I’m sure the girls won’t mind.”
“Thank you, but that’s not necessary. I’m going to stay here a while. The fresh air is nice.” Billy assured him.
“You want me to leave you alone?”
“I’d rather you stay, pretty boy, but it’s up to you.”
“Here you go again with that nickname.”
Steve took his hand off Billy’s knee.
“Shit, sorry.” He looked sheepish.
“Look, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but it kind of is a big deal to me. I just think it’s mean.” Steve said.
He wanted to get this out of the way, so Billy and he could really become friends. Friendship was better than nothing.
“What? Why mean?”
Billy was frowning.
“Well, you know I have a crush on you… I mean, you pretended to flirt with me once and I basically lost all common sense, so there’s no way you don’t know. So, I think it’s really a dick move to call me… call me that, when you clearly don’t like me back.”
Steve had gotten worked up. It was a stupid thing to get worked up over, but his frustration had to find an out, at some point.
“Hold on, hold on a sec. Who told you I don’t like you back?” Billy’s tone was full of disbelief.
“Well, uh, you did. At the hospital. You said that you were messing with me when you flirted before I had my allergic reaction, remember?”
“I didn’t mean I was just pretending to flirt with you, Steve, what the fuck? I said I messed with you because I noticed you were flustered, and I made it worse by continuing to flirt… But it was no joke. Truth is, the first time I called you Pretty boy, it just slipped out… because I keep calling you that in my mind since I met you.”
Billy was now kneeling in front of Steve on the steps, with both his hands on Steve’s knees.
Steve had so many questions, but one of them needed an answer more urgently than the others:
“Can I kiss you?”
“Can eagles fly, Pretty boy?”
Steve was going to tell him to shut up, because Billy was being obnoxious, but he figured that joining their lips would be far more effective, and far more pleasant. So, he bent down to kiss Billy, who instantly put a hand in Steve’s hair.
Steve had been planning on keeping it chaste, but it didn’t happen that way. As soon as his lips were on Billy’s, his restraint went up in flames. He’d been longing to do that ever since he had laid eyes on Billy, after all. And his lips were so soft, and they felt so good. He deepened the kiss, making Billy moan. He’d be very satisfied about that fact if he wasn’t too occupied getting lost in Billy.
“Fuck, Pretty boy, you’ll be the death of me.” Billy said in a husky voice when they separated to catch their breath.
“Well, I think I’ve died already and now I’m in heaven.”
Billy gasped.
“Steve, that was so cheesy.” He was smiling.
“You can’t complain. You started it.”
“I wasn’t complaining”, Billy assured, before going back to kissing Steve.
Heather, who had been sent by Robin to check up on them, found them in the exact same spot an hour later.
“Thank God, you guys finally got your heads out of your asses. I was starting to lose hope you ever would.” Heather said.
Steve blushed and Billy rolled his eyes.
“Okay… so, you might have been right.”
“I might have been?” Heather arched an eyebrow.
“Okay, you definitely were….” Billy huffed. “I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”
“Nope.”
Steve could have had the exact same conversation with Robin, so he couldn’t help but laugh.
“I mean… I did have to listen to you pine for ages. Oh, Heather, I can’t speak to Steve anymore, I nearly killed him last time. I’m a menace. And then: no Heather, I can’t be more than friends with him, it makes him uncomfortable when I flirt with him, he asked me not to do it anymore, oh but he’s so pretty, oh and his hair looks so soft, and his eyes are so big… Ugh, you were the worst.”
Billy hid his face in his hands and groaned, probably embarrassed. He should wait until he heard what Robin had to say about Steve’s own pining. She was a hundred percent going to drag him.
Steve kissed Billy’s temple, which made him stop hiding.
“Well, it all worked out, in the end.” Billy said, looking into Steve’s eyes.
“Oh no… You’re gonna be so sickeningly sweet, aren’t you?” Heather looked like she was discovering a flaw in her plan.
“You bet.” Steve confirmed, not looking away from Billy’s eyes.
It made sense for them to be overly sweet, after all, considering how they had met.
*
Thanks a lot for reading! :)
#Harringrove#Steve Harrington#Billy Hargrove#Harringrove fanfiction#Coffee shop AU#fluff#part 2#Steve's POV
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Will You Be Mine?
Requested by @xoxoninibebe! Hope you enjoy!!
Pairing: Junhee x reader
Word Count: 2k.
“Why won’t Donghun pay attention to me?” You ask Junhee with a small pout. You had a thing for him ever since you had met A.C.E and they all melted your heart. You also had a thing for Junhee, but you knew, or at least thought that he would never go for you, so you focused your energy on Donghun.
“Couldn’t tell you" Junhee said flatly. Clearly something was up with him today.
Rolling your eyes you walked away from the annoyed man, sitting on the couch with your arms crossed and an annoyed expression on your face.
Junhee had always been kind to you, even sweet sometimes. He would give you his jacket if you were cold, make you laugh when you were upset. Although lately his demeanor had changed. He often gave you the cold shoulder when you brought up Donghun. He rolled his eyes when you were talking to him, always leaving the room when you flirted. You never knew why, he wasn’t interested in you, so why did it matter?
As you said your goodbyes, Junhee quickly said “bye" before stalking away, not even giving you a hug like he normally did. You wondered what his issue was on your way home and even as you tried to sleep that night.
Waking up the next morning, you saw a text from Donghun, asking you to come over as soon as you could, as he had something important to talk to you about, he needed your advice.
Hopping out of bed, you quickly get dressed and put on a little makeup, brushing your hair to make sure you didn’t look like a complete disaster. For some reason as you made your way over to the dorm, you had butterflies in your stomach. Maybe he was going to confess to you, and you’d both live happily ever after? You smiled at the thought, the possibility of him returning your feelings made you nervous. Your mind wandered to Junhee, wondering what he reaction would be if Donghun a actually confessed to you. Would he be happy for you? Or would his attitude get worse?
Knocking on the door of the dorm, you’re met with an eager Donghun who swung the door open quickly.
“Finally" he gasped as he dragged you inside by your wrist before flopping you on the couch.
“What’s going on?” you laughed.
“As a girl, and a very good friend, I need your help" he said, avoiding eye contact.
“Okay..” you said.
“There’s this girl..” he begin, getting you excited. “and I really like her, but I’m too nervous to tell her in person. Would it be okay if I texted her?” He asked.
You nodded your head quite quickly, eager for your phone to ding.
Donghun pulled out his phone, typing a message. “Is this okay?” he wondered. “I have a confession. I really like you and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me sometime?” he read out loud to you.
“Sounds perfect" you smiled.
After taking a few deep breaths, Donghun pressed send. Your hands were clammy as you anticipated the signal from your phone, that you had received a text.
“She’s typing” he exclaimed, looking up and down from his phone. “She said yes!” he yelled as your heart sank down into your stomach.
“Whose the girl?” you asked, trying not to let on how hurt your actually were.
“It’s Jisoo” he smiled.
“From Blackpink?” you asked. He nodded his head.
“That’s great, Donghun" you said, forcing a smile.
“Thanks for your help, Y/N" he said, standing up and walking away.
“Yeah, no problem” you murmured, standing up slowly, and dragging your feet to Junhee's room.
Knocking on the door, you heard a faint “come in" so you dramatically opened the door, with a loud sigh.
“What’s up?” he asked, not looking up from his desk.
“Donghun asked my advice about confessing to a girl and asking her out" you sighed, throwing yourself on Junhee's bed.
“And did he confess? Are you going to be together?” he snapped, which you ignored.
“No" you sighed. “Turns out his crush is Jisoo from Blackpink and they’re going out soon" you finished, throwing your arm over your eyes, feeling embarrassed.
“Good" he said rather loudly.
“How is that good?” you asked, sitting up feeling a little offended now.
“Because. You shouldn’t be with him anyways" Junhee says.
“You know what? I’m getting real sick of all this attitude you’re giving me constantly” you snap, getting off his bed. “Honestly, what is even your issue?” you say, rolling your eyes and walking to the door.
“My issue is you.” he snaps, pushing himself away from his desk.
“What the fuck did I do?” you yell, furrowing your eyebrows in anger. “What would be so fucking bad about him and I being together, even though that’s not happening now. He doesn’t want me so cut the attitude.”
“I want you!” he yells.
“What?” you whisper, your eyes wide.
“I said, I want you" he growls, walking closer to you.
“I thought you just wanted to be friends" you whisper, taking a step back every time he takes one towards you.
“Did I ever explicitly say I just wanted to be friends?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.
“Well no..” you pause. “I just assumed..” you finish.
“You assume wrong, clearly. Why do you think I got so annoyed when you constantly whined about Donghun and your crush on him? Because I wanted you.” He whispers. “Do you even realized how long I’ve waited to confess to you? I was going to but then you mentioned your thing for Donghun and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
At this point, you were finally against the door, Junhee closer to you than ever. You could feel his breath on your face as he slowly moved his face closer to yours. “If you don’t want this, tell me to stop" he whispers, his lips so close to yours. “Tell me to stop, baby” he says.
When you don’t say a word, Junhee softly presses his lips against yours, you don’t take long to respond to the kiss.
Junhee glides his tounge over your lips, wanting you to part yours. You do without hesitation, allowing his tounge to slip into your mouth, deepening the kiss.
He pushes his body in closer to yours, pinning you against the door. You moan into the kiss, wanting more from him. He takes you from against the wall, shuffling the two of you to his bed, never breaking the kiss.
Pulling himself away, he lightly pushes you onto his bed, a wicked smile on his face.
“Do you want this?” he asks.
“Yes. Please" you pant.
Junhee smirks as he undoes the button of your jeans. He slowly brings your zipper down before tugging your pants off your body. You sit up, pulling your shirt off, exposing your bare breasts, you were happy you decided to not wear a bra this afternoon.
Junhee groans as he bends down, cupping your breast in his palm, as he takes your nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly. You throw your head back in pleasure, letting out a small moan.
Junhee let’s your nipple go with a pop, admiring how perky it is now after the small breeze hits it from his open window.
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those moans come from that pretty little mouth of yours.” He says, smiling. “Lay back, baby" he whispers as you scoot yourself back on his bed, laying on your back.
Junhee grabs your panties from the top, tugging a bit so you’d lift your ass to let him slip them off. He throws them across the room, smiling at you. “Spread those legs wide, baby girl.”
A deep red blush spreads across your face at the nickname he gave you as you part your legs, allowing him access to your already wet pussy.
I’ve always wondered if you tasted as good as I thought you would” he growls, laying on his stomach before parting your lips with his fingers.
He licks a long, slow strip up your pussy with the flat of his tounge, savoring every drop of wetness from you.
Lifting his head, he smiles at you. “Even better than I imagined” he says, going back down in between your thighs and flicking his tounge over your clit.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head for a second as you tightly grip your hands on the bedsheets. You arch your back, so desperately wanting to cum from his talented tounge.
Within seconds Junhee picks up his pace, almost sloppily devouring your pussy, as if he hasn’t eaten in weeks.
You grind yourself against his hot tounge, so desperate to get off.
He lifts his head, leaving you panting and needing more, badly. “Patience baby girl" he smirks, teasing and taunting you with flicks of his tounge with pauses in between.
“Please let me cum.” You beg, your eyes squeezing closed, tightly.
“The first time you cum with me, will not be from my tounge" he spits, getting off the bed. He strips his shirt from his torso, revealing the nice body you knew was underneath. Somehow, seeing him now increased your arousal, it was different from before.
Quickly, he pulls down his sweatpants, allowing his large cock to spring free, hitting his stomach. You moan at the site, eyeing up the red tip, leaking with delicious pre-cum.
“Oh god, fuck me" you moan, licking your lips.
“Gladly, baby" he says, climbing on the bed again.
“How do you want my cock?” he asks.
“Doggy" you whisper, unsure if he would want too.
“One of my favorites" he smiles, grabbing your body before flipping you over.
You quickly scramble to your knees, arching your back, and lifting your ass high into the air.
“That’s a good girl" he purrs, landing a hard smack on your ass.
You flinch at the burning, yet moan as well, loving the feeling.
Junhee grabs a condom from his night stand, ripping it open with his teeth, discarding the wrapper somewhere on the floor.
You wiggle your ass in anticipation for him to stretch you out.
Junhee rolls the condom onto his thick cock, before lining himself up with your sopping entrance. He slowly thrusts himself into you, and like you imagined he stretches you beyond belief. His cock, filling you up completely.
“Fuck baby, you’re so tight” he groans, enjoying being still for a moment.
He slowly snaps his hips in and out of you, killing you with how slowly he’s going.
“P-please faster" you stutter.
Without a word, Junhee begins thrusting into you again and again with such force. You can’t help but cry out loudly as he pounds his cock into you.
“Play with yourself" he growls.
Reaching your hand under you, you rub your clit, your almost orgasm still there, you feel as though you’re ready to explode within seconds.
“Harder" you cry out.
Junhee grabs onto your hips so harshly, you know there will be bruises tomorrow, which will be well worth it.
“Oh god baby" he moans, his ramming never slowly down.
“You gunna cum for me baby?” he grunts.
“Yes yes yes" you cry.
“Yell out who this pussy belongs too. Let everyone know" he growls.
Within seconds your orgasm takes over your body, sending extremely pleasurable shocks throughout your body. “Its yours, it’s your pussy" you scream.
“Say my name" he demands.
“Junhee, its yours" you yell.
“Fuck I’m gunna cum. Shit baby" he groans, his thrusts becoming sloppy and slower as he waits for his release.
“Ahh fuck" he cries out, halting his movements, his body shuddering as he cums, his cock twitching inside you.
The two of you stay in that position for a minute, catching your breath.
Junhee finally pulls out of you, taking the condom off before disposing of it in the trash beside his bed.
The two of you lay in his bed, and he pulls you in closely to him, breathing in your scent. “So what do you say? Will you be mine?” He mumbles into your neck.
“I already am" you whisper as the two of you fall asleep in each others
#a.c.e#a.c.e junhee#a.c.e writing#a.c.e scenarios#a.c.e oneshot#a.c.e icons#a.c.e imagines#kpop icons#kpop scenarios#a.c.e smut#kpop imagines#kpop smut#park junhee#junhee#junhee smut#junhee smut scenarios#junhee writing#park junhee smut
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Too Close for Comfort // Varapark
July 16, 2020 || After the Gazette reported Noelle’s best friend Ava missing, Chloe rushed over to Noelle’s to make sure that she was okay.
@icarialex
chloe
Chloe had shifted around other prior obligations as soon as she had heard the news (and it wasn't good news). She hadn't thought twice about it before going on autopilot, and showing up at Noelle's front door. It probably would have been wise to text first, but she put that thought out of mind as she knocked frantically and loudly on the door- enough for her knuckles to hurt. Would she answer?
noelle
The world was truly cruel was the conclusion Noelle had come to after sitting in her house, in the dark, crying. She never listened to that stupid radio show, but she’d decided to turn it on that morning to have background noise as she began stretching for her workout. It was then that she heard the news. Ava, her best friend, and for the longest time only confidant, was missing. How was that possible? Yes, she knew there were people that had been disappearing around the island, but she’d been naive. Like so many, she never thought it could affect her life. Now, she didn’t know what to do. Her hands were shaking with electricity vibrating on her fingertips as she let tears run down her face.
The loud banging on her door made her head snap up. Not caring about her appearance, Noelle moved slowly towards the door. If it was someone who she didn’t care to see, she could let out some of the agony currently coursing through her. When she opened the door though, her body went from it’s menacing stature that she held for appearance to one of vulnerability. Chloe. She should have known the sweet, caring woman would make her way over to check on her. “Chlo,” she whispered as she leaned her weight against the door to hold her up. She was suddenly feeling weaker and had the oddest urge to just bang her fists against anything to make the world listen to her pain. “I — I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.
chloe
Chloe knew sometimes that she absorbed others' emotive energy- not for any particularly magical reason, bit that was just how it was. It took all of her effort not to fall into am absolutely devastated state when she saw how Noelle reacted to her arrival. Or to the announcement that Ava was gone. There was a lot going on, clearly.
"Hey, I'm here," she said in a small voice, stepping forward and trying to help Noelle support her weight. "You sit down and drink some water is what you do." Not good to mention that tears were draining. "Let me help."
noelle
Leaning on someone in any sense was not Noelle’s forte. Truthfully, she’d never liked the idea of needing people before because if they left the pain felt would be devastating. That was never a risk she was interested in. Still, she found herself leaning against Chloe and kicking her door shut with her foot as she moved back into her home towards the couch. “I — you,” she started in between hiccups from crying. No one had ever seen her cry besides her mother when her grandmother died. This was all new, uncharted territory. “Don’t you have work? Or something? I don’t want to bother.” The last thing she wanted was to take her — Chloe away from something important. She had to pull it together. Life had to keep on moving. Weeping like a lost child wasn’t going to help anyone or fix anything. None of it would bring her friend back.
chloe
"All that really matter was a brunch meeting. I could do those in my sleep. You're what matters right now," Chloe said evenly, gesturing for Noelle to stay put while she unearthed a water bottle from her bag. She knew very well by now that Noelle was pretty bad at relying on other people, and had figured that insisting on results was the only way to accomplish any sort of help. Breathing carefully, she held out the water. "Your house was sparking. Will this be safe?"
noelle
This was the second time that Chloe had shown up when Noelle was in trouble, and that didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, it was becoming welcomed. It felt nice to have someone care about her so much, and that was one of the things the event planner had asked to be allowed to do. “Okay,” she replied after sniffling a little. Gods, she probably looked like a mess. When she heard her house was sparking, her eyes widened slightly as she looked at her hands. Thankfully, she’d been in enough of a right mind to not accidentally shock Chloe. Closing her eyes, she evened her breathing as much as she could to get better control over her turbulent emotions. “There,” she said after a few moments before accepting the water. “I can’t believe you came in here. I’d hate myself if I ever hurt you.”
chloe
Chloe bit down in her lip, now doing her best not to break into sympathetic tears. Ava (and everyone, really) disappearing was deeply disturbing to Chloe, but it had not quite shaken her yet. "I didn't think that you would hurt me either. Maybe I was just seeing things, though. Sometimes that happens." There was always going to be room for doubt when she had a tendency to jump to conclusions. "I'll always be there for you if you let me. Sometimes even when you don't explicitly let me. Directions aren't always clear. But do you want to talk? Sit? Be fed?"
noelle
“I doubt you were seeing things,” Noelle replied after swallowing a sip of water. “I’ve been known to do that before. I’m just happy you’re okay.” Showing care and concern for certain people came with the territory the closer someone got to Noelle. With her siblings she even initiated affections which was definitely weird when it first happened. As she thought about the words that were coursing through her mind, the vet bit her lip before saying, “I want you here. I didn’t even realize that I would until you were here, but I do.” One thing Ava had told her was to be more honest about her emotions, so she was trying. It was the least she could do, so when the woman came back, Noelle could say she actually listened for once. “Talking and sitting are good. I’m thankfully off today. I don’t think I’d do anyone much good at work right now,” she said as she slumped back against the couch and curled her legs beneath herself. “Thank you by the way.”
chloe
Rubbing one of her thumbs nervously, Chloe nodded a few times. "I'm fine. Today, uhm, is the one day that you don't need to worry after my feelings." Seeing Noelle (and her house, apparently) this rattled was disturbing.
She perched on her side of the sofa, and kept her tone level. "You're welcome. I couldn't stand the idea that you were alone." Chloe hadn't really imagined that Noelle would have stayed at work for long after hearing about what happened to one of her people, but Chloe was relieved all the same that there were no prior obligations. There weren't any big events to worry about today- just some prep meetings pushed until the next day and some people using the space. If Icaria Hall caught fire because she wasn't on hand, then she would take full responsibility. "So we can try talking. It's scary, so I'm afraid to broach the topic and say the wrong thing about your friend whom I don't know well."
noelle
Usually Noelle didn’t worry about many people, but that was becoming increasingly difficult to do when it came to the woman across from her. She was used to having concern for the well being of those that she cared about to an extent, but she was quickly finding that it was different with Chloe. “I’m finding it harder and harder to not worry about your feelings. It’s hard for me to be selfish around you,” she said with a small shrug. “Alone used to be my default setting. Then this really beautiful woman came into my life and starting turning things upside down,” she said with the tiniest smile she could muster. Her mind was okay with flirting, with being close because it allowed her to stay away from the dark corners in her head. Noelle couldn’t let her mind worry about whether or not Ava was okay. Her friend had to be. “It’s scary. This whole thing is terrifying, but I don’t think you’ll say the wrong thing, Chlo. Everything you do comes from a good place which is always a great start. I just — I can’t think she’s not okay. I need to know that she’s coming home because that brat got me used to having her in my life, and I’m not prepared to lose that.”
chloe
"This one of times that I want you to be very, very selfish. I'm giving you permission to be upset, and say uncomfortable things as long as they're not very mean to me." Chloe leaned in, not wanting to be too tempted into physical contact before they were done talking. While she was a touchy person, now was not the time to be tempted by compliments, in large part because she still wasn't confident she would say all the right things. All she could do was say what she believed. "I can't give you anything definite. And I feel bad for that. I think everything as a whole will end up okay. Somebody is going to get to the bottom of this and fix it. Maybe even my new centaur friend that we discovered did not fit very well through my door, and therefore could not become my new roommate." Chloe noticed that she was starting to cry now, but hoped it wasn't noticeable.
noelle
Noelle shook her head lightly in response to Chloe’s words. “There is never a good reason to be mean to you no matter the circumstance. I can’t say I’ll be perfect at that, but I don’t like taking my anger out on people who mean a lot to me. It’s not fair,” she explained quietly. Her voice was still dry, so she took another sip of water in the hopes that it would help. Her father always took his moods out on others. Actually, he placed all his feelings, expectations, and disappointments on someone’s back until it broke. “As amazing as you are, I don’t think any of us can give promises like that, but I hope you’re right. I’ve known her for about eight years now,” she began before Ava’s words once again rang through her mind. One of the last pieces of advice she’d gotten from her friend was to be honest about how their relationship started. Noelle didn’t know if it was the sorrow of Ava being gone, or her agreeing that it was the right thing to do, but she began talking. “We actually started as friends with benefits. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s not because it was something I wanted to keep a secret, but I honestly don’t even see it as significant. It ended years ago.”
chloe
Chloe shrugged. "I didn't say mean. Just selfish. Telling me about your feelings even though it seems uncomfortable and I won't really understand right away." She knew that she wasn't anything half as helpful as Ava (duh, therapist for a living), but she had to try. Chloe was taken aback at that last statement. It seemed a little out of left field, and even more uncomfortable than she had anticipated. She could not help but be a little jealous, but couldn't really fault Noelle for being friends with her ex... sleeping partner. When things weren't this messy, she tried to befriend her exes. Eight years, though... "Okay. Uhm. So feelings for her are one hundred percent platonic now? Or familial? Either is okay. Just... That is not what I expected." Chloe felt she had a right to be a little selfish for just a second and ask that question. Just because she was there to comfort Noelle did not mean that she could pretend that everything tangentially related to relationship health made sense.
noelle
A chuckle left Noelle’s lips because she couldn’t help it. She’d definitely listened to Chloe and made things uncomfortable. Perhaps that’s how she reacted to tragedy or sadness. The vet rambled and was much more open than she’d ever usually be comfortable with. “Ava told me I should tell you. It was one of the last pieces of advice she gave me because she knew I wouldn’t think to,” she explained sadly. The woman knew Noelle well. Not completely, but she knew her enough that she could guess how she’d react or feel about most things. “One hundred percent platonic. We haven’t been physical since we were in Thailand years ago. I’m new to this — building a relationship thing, but you should know you’re the only person I even wanted to try with. So, my feelings for you kind of dwarf those I’ve ever had for anyone else,” she said with a shrug. “We never wanted anything more. Being best friends is all we’ve ever wanted, and since Ava can see strings she knew mine didn’t lead to her in any color but friendship.” Hopefully that would provide comfort. While people could lie about their feelings and intentions, the strings that lied between people didn’t. Noelle didn’t see the point in lying though. That would just waste time for both people involved.
chloe
Chloe was a little baffled that this had never occurred to Noelle to mention before. She could understand it being uncomfortable about it but not ever bringing it up? "Noelle, I- uhm, at this point I really appreciate Ava, then. Uh. If you have any other friends that you want me to meet, could you give me a heads up beforehand if you've slept with them?" Chloe made a mental note that this went both ways, but thought it a small chance that she would do many fun hangs with any of her exes soon. Ulani wasn't exactly someone she was thrilled for Noelle to meet. "I'm not exactly upset. Confused, though. Anyway, it's more than a touch flattering to be the only one you've considered. Do you want to talk about anything else?"
noelle
“Oh well that won’t happen because she’s the only one, so you’re in the clear,” she answered numbly. A part of her wanted to ask if that was going to be with Ava going forward, but the words stopped in her throat. She was glad that Chloe wasn’t upset though. That was something that she didn’t know if she could handle right then. “I — I just want my friend back,” she said as she looked down at the hands on her lap. “She’s family. She was the first family I made when ties were cut with mine. How the hell could she go and get herself kidnapped? What was she doing,” she asked in frustration. How could she have gotten involved in something so dangerous and stupid? Nothing made sense. “We’re in trouble. I — what if something happened to you? I feel so helpless. What are we supposed to do?” Asking so many questions was not typically in her nature, but she couldn’t just act like she had all the answers. Not with this.
chloe
"And this really never occurr- Never mind. There's no replacing someone in your life that's so important to you. I don't know what she was doing. Hopefully being safe," Chloe sighed, trying to to think too hard about the details. Sometimes her imagination went a little wild in a distressing way. What was she even supposed to say? "Nothing so bad's happened to me ever really. I'm not sure if there's anything we can do unless you want to try honing our investigation skills. If it helps, I'm very, very good at finding threading needles." That did not probably help very much, no. Oh well.
noelle
“Nuh uh,” she said with a light shake of her head at the woman beside her. “Finish your thoughts, Chlo. I always want to hear them.” Noelle didn’t know what made the event planner so scared of of sharing her thoughts and feelings. Whatever it was, she wanted to kick it because no one should have to worry so much. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Am I supposed to just go back to normal and wait?” That seemed ridiculous, but she honestly couldn’t become some weird version of inspector freaking gadget. Plus, she didn’t even have the gadgets! Noelle would rock them if she did though. “Can you stay tonight? Or me with you? I just — you know what, it’s okay, I’ll be fine,” she said with a shake of her head. What was she doing? She never asked things like that. She didn’t do vulnerable.
chloe
"I'm still stuck on how you didn't think to tell me that you'd slept with your best friend who you'd talked up to me so much. I know that we're different people, but it's still strange," Chloe sighed, pulling her legs up to hug them. She bit down on the corner of her lip accidentally until it hurt. Bad choice, even if the pain was only momentary. "I don't know if there's any such thing as normal, or if there's a supposed to. But of course I'll stay over. I don't care whether or not you think you're fine. If you want me here, or you want to go to mine, then that's what will happen. Maybe we can cook together tonight. And I could wake up early in the morning and make you breakfast?"
noelle
Noelle’s brow furrowed at the comment, but not in a way that was upset. Truthfully, she was just trying to wrap her mind around her comment and find the best way to respond. “I know typically people keep that a secret for very shady reasons, but that’s not how I am. If I grow feelings for someone else, I’d tell you. If I didn’t want this, I’d tell you and respect that you’re the strong, independent woman with big feelings that you are who could handle it. I don’t tip toe. The only reason I didn’t mention it is because it’s so insignificant to my present which is you, but I see how it could upset you, and I’m sorry,” she said in more words than she’d used in months. “I think your rambling is contagious,” were her next words that were accompanied with a nudge of the woman’s legs with her foot. “Is this what you taking care of me is like? Because that sounds like everything and can get pretty addicting.”
chloe
"Okay.... Thanks for the explanation." Shifting her weight, Chloe considered the contents of the monologue. It alarmed her that Noelle might wind up with feelings for someone else. Was that possessive for someone that still seemed reluctant to take on the girlfriend monker? "Hey..." Chloe whimpered when she was nudged, not quite expecting that after being told that her tendency not to shut up was apparently spreading. At least she knew that she was being teased here. "Pretty much like that. I can't sleep very well. Or don't need to sleep much. It's unclear. Anyway, I have a lot of time in the morning to do things for you. I like certain chores..."
noelle
Arching and eyebrow, Noelle lifted herself up from leaning against the back of the couch to lean over and lightly grab Chloe’s ankles. Lightly, she tugged on them to stretch the woman’s legs across her lap. “Do you feel better? If not, what can I do to make you feel better,” she asked genuinely. It was obvious that she would misstep a few times throughout this process because she was as elegant as a baby horse taking it’s first steps, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t work to correct them. “How’d I get a woman like you to like a grump like me,” she asked as she tilted her head to lean against her shoulder. It really didn’t make sense. “Hmm, can I bribe you to stay in bed longer and rest if I give you cuddles? I love breakfast, but I want you to take care of you too.” Noelle wasn’t a late sleeper anyway, so they’d rarely be in bed together past ten unless it was for very adult activities. “Also, I need to know these favorite chores of yours.”
chloe
Chloe let herself be moved around, although she did make a few mumbly noises through the process because she was not used to this sort of treatment. Also she hadn't really expected it either. "If you tell me what time you want to cuddle me, I can come back and cuddle you. You clearly overestimate how much sleep I get," Chloe said, wrapping her arms around Noelle's upper body affectionately. The idea of having to stay in bed waiting to cuddle made her anxious. What was she supposed to do with hours of stillness? "I like organizing things in general. Less scrubbing, more putting things back where they go or finding a better place for them to go."
noelle
“You’re silly,” she said affectionately when she realized how Chloe took her words. “I’m an early riser too. I usually can’t sleep past seven, but I may overestimate how much sleep you get. Just know that I might try to pull you back into bed when you go to move, but I’ll eventually let you go,” she said with a small shrug. Trying to hide how affectionate she could be at night was pointless. Plus, she knew it would make the other woman happy to know. Physical touch was a big part of who the event planner was, and she was finding that she enjoyed the warmth it brought her coming from Chloe. Noelle allowed herself to ease into Chloe’s embrace and let out a sigh. “Just promise you’ll tell me where you put stuff when you’re here.” If not, she’d be calling the woman to find things more often than necessary. “I feel guilty. I’m here being comforted by you, but should I feel comfort? But there’s nothing I can do but hope she’s okay. Is there a way you could lend me some of that optimism you always carry?”
chloe
Chloe could not help but giggle a little, wondering how everything had almost worked out too perfectly. "I usually sleep around four hours, six if I'm really messed up. I'm not sure how that aligns with you, but I can always come back around six-thirty to cuddle you." An invitation to cuddle was pretty difficult to turn down. "Noelle, you are allowed to be comforted. I didn't know your friend that well, but I know she wants you to be okay based on... Everything I know? You can keep me around to help but I can't make you think anything. That unfortunately is on you."
noelle
The woman’s eyes widened at the idea of only needing four hours of sleep. Back in college that was her usual, but now that she worked full time she definitely needed more like six or feel human. “I need what you need when you’re messed up usually,” she said with a small smile. “So I don’t know if I’ll fall asleep before you or wake up later, but whichever works. Although, if you ever want me up with you, there are certain wake up tactics that will work every time.” She was debating whether she should give away those secrets, or make Chloe work for them. After all, working to learn things was more fun. “You’re right. I just wish there was a way to know that she’s okay. But, thank you for rushing over here. You’re always here when I need you even before I ask you to be.”
chloe
Chloe nodded, wondering if she was missing out on something by not trying to sleep more. Oh well. At least it sounded like Noelle would keep her waiting for too long to keep her company. Having the dark hours of the morning to herself was nice, but they got lonely after dragging on for so long. "I'll come running whenever you ask me to. If I'm too much, just... let me know? I know I'm a lot, but I can't stand the idea of not trying to be there. I'm sure I'm not the only one that you can lean on, but I don't want there to be nobody for you to go to ever. Am I talking in circles? Sorry. But, I don't know, let me know if I'm too nosy."
noelle
“What makes you think you’re a lot,” she asked genuinely. Noelle knew she wasn’t kind to most people, but with the woman beside her she was different. There was a soft spot in her heart for Chloe, and she knew she’d be beyond pissed if anyone ever made her feel like anything was wrong with her. “I doubt I’m even close to scratching the surface on things Chloe Vara, but from what I’ve seen you’re pretty perfect. At least to me,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. Now that they were communicating better, and she didn’t have to guess why the event planner was always a bundle nerves. If Noelle asked a question, the woman was usually forthcoming now which was great. “Ask whatever you want, and be as nosey as you want. You’re one of a handful of people in the world who has that green light with me without fear of getting electrocuted. You should use it.”
chloe
A strange look crossed Chloe's face. "Most people? I've gotten broken up with before because of it. I come on really strong. But you seem to like that at least for now," she said, knitting her forehead as she dwelled on that conflicted expression. "Nobody's really perfect. You don't have to flatter me that much. I've been told all of my faults enough times. I know the good parts too, though, I think. I'm just not perfect." Chloe nibbled on her lip thoughtfully. "Do you... miss me when I'm not with you?"
noelle
“You don’t though,” she said with a furrowed brow. “At least with me you didn’t. In fact, you were hyper aware of what made me comfortable and put aside what you wanted until you were a tiny bundle of nerves that I poked to tell me what was wrong.” That was definitely not coming on strong. Noelle has experienced girls who came on strong. They barged in with expectations and dreams without even trying to see if two people really would work. Those people never had the patience to deal with Noelle and wait for her to open up when she was ready. “Also, no one is perfect which is why I corrected it at the end. You seem perfect to me which doesn’t mean I have lofty expectations. We will fight, probably cry, and yell, but that’s okay. I’ll probably still like you then,” she said with a shrug. She’d just need to cool down really. There were very few things that were on the list of unforgivables for her really. “I do,” she said with a nod. “I’ve actually been working on gathering the courage to say that to you, but every time I text it I feel like an absolute sap,” she said with a light laugh.
chloe
It wasn't difficult for her head to start spinning with possible explanations. Overcompensating, a misunderstanding, it would get worse later on... In her own head, Chloe wasn't going to easily agree that she was anything but too much. "I, uhm, am really not looking forward to fighting. I'm very bad at arguments. It's almost always laughable in hindsight." She still did not quite get what perfect was supposed to mean, but as long as she was on Noelle's good side... Hopefully if Noelle ever wanted to end things, it would be gentle. Chloe kept worrying at her lip, not really sure if it was a good or bad thing that she had not come on so strong this time around. "You know I don't mind sappy, right? Send me all of your sweet messages! Send me anything. I know it's not the same as Ava, but I will literally respond to anything." She wasn't kidding. Fielding strange messages was one of her favorites.
noelle
“If you were looking forward to fighting I’d be a little worried,” she replied. Even she, who was considered a confrontational person, wouldn’t look forward to a a fight with her person. Noelle was getting closer to being okay with the word girlfriend in her mind which was good progress. “Unless you’re looking up to the making up after. But, it’ll be alright. I usually just need to walk away to cool down so I don’t say anything hurtful, but I’ll come back.” Walking away was almost a given if things got too heated. She’d done that with most people, and since she hated the idea of hurting Chloe, she was sure she’d react the same. “I’m glad you’re not Ava because I like Chloe. Plus, I didn’t send Ava sappy, sweet messages,” she said with a light laugh. “This is just a you thing. Ava and I spend half of our time making fun of each other. Totally different. But, I do miss you when I’m not with you. It’s a new feeling. One I’m not sure how to navigate because I worry about wanting you around too much,” she said honestly. That was something she’d get annoyed about with other women, and there she was contemplating asking Chloe over after a night at work. Totally weird, but it was nice too.
chloe
Chloe made another face- a grimace this time. "No, uhm, that's okay. I don't really look terribly forward to make-up sex. Because something upsetting had to come before it." It just didn't sound like a good idea. "Well I don't know exactly what you talk about with your friends! I don't look at your phone. I only know my dad's passcode because he makes me help him set up technology. Even though he knows better..." She shook her head in disapproval. Sometimes her dad was so ridiculous; it wasn't as if he was even computer illiterate. Anyway, she was getting very sidetracked. "I want you to want me around. And for it to feel a little different than with your friends. That's sort of why I asked. If it's weird, I'm really sorry, but when you're not there I miss how it feels to have you holding my hand or smiling at me because you think I did something cute. Can't make you stop worrying, but I don't think it's a bad thing to miss me. We can talk about new feelings whenever you want. Nothing would really make me happier than to know you want me around, honestly."
noelle
There were very few people in the world that were as wholesome as Chloe. The woman wasn’t naive, but she was just inherently good. “What makes you feel better after fights?” Noelle wanted to know because after the dust settled she wanted to be able to take care of Chloe. The woman did such a good job taking care of her, that she wanted to reciprocate the gesture. Well, as best as she could. “Oh you could look at my phone,” she said with a shrug. “I leave it around all the time. I’ve gotten better at having it near me for you, but yeah I don’t care much about that thing. People in my life would probably appreciate it if you answered when it rings,” she said with a chuckle. Noelle was horrible at keeping up with her cell. If people wanted to reach her, they were usually better physically finding her. “It’s not weird,” she reassured. “Before I feared someone feeling things for me the way you do because I had never wanted for someone to become a fixture in my life. Reciprocating those feelings weren’t something I ever did until you,” she explained. It was always interesting trying to have someone understand how she used to look at relationships. Very few people understood her pessimism towards them, but there she was trying one. “I thought about asking you over or heading over to you twice this week after work, so I definitely want you around. You’re really nice and warm to be around, both literally and figuratively,” she teased at the end.
chloe
Chloe shifted in her seat, and tried to think about what made her feel better after a fight. Before she could think too much, she explained, "More interested in apologies and cuddling. Maybe some time apart so that I can process what I'm feeling while baking. I stress bake. Do you ever stress cook?" Chloe also morning baked, event baked, and bored baked. There were a lot of excuses to put feelings into dough or decorating. "I- Your phone is private. I don't want to dig around even if you say it's okay." She was nosy enough as is without a time-stamped record of phone calls and internet search history. "If you miss me, I'm just a text away to keep you warm and snuggly, okay? I'll never judge you about that. I'm trying really, really hard not to overwhelm you at this stage, though." Chloe was afraid that this maybe-relationship was going to end like all the other ones, with this one closing before it even began. "And I'm here for you tonight, okay?"
noelle
A smile formed on the vet’s face at the mention of Chloe processing things via baking. At least after fights when they fixed things there would be delicious baked goods to eat. “I do stress cook,” she said with a nod. “And clean. But good to know. After cooling down, cuddles and apologies. Got it.” That would be easy enough to remember at least. Jealousy was a nasty thing, and she knew it was even harder for people who are naturally nosey. Still, Chloe turned it down which was sweet in a way. “Well, can I count on you to ask me if you’re curious about something? Don’t let it fester. I’m pretty sure that makes worrying worse.” Noelle didn’t care what the problem. While she could be mean, the woman never made fun of the feelings of others. That was a type of cruel she didn’t mess with. “Just out of curiosity, if you didn’t hold back right now, how would you act? I mean, I’m guessing you got hurt rather badly before, and that’s made you think that things that are so naturally you are bad for relationships, but I kind of want to know. I want to know because maybe, just maybe, I’ll think differently than whoever has hurt you.” It wasn’t so out of the realm of possibility. After all, Chloe got Noelle to feel things she never had before, so she had to be special. Plus, she’d already passed the point of wanting to run from those feelings, and instead was at the place of being scared to lose the person making her feel things. “I’m glad you’re here.”
chloe
"Uh huh. I'm still usually crying at that point." Chloe was relieved that Noelle understood to some degree how she worked through things. While she didn't stress-clean very much, she did like to stress-organize, which was similar. Chloe nodded at the request, and shifted in her seat. She didn't really know what could prompt questions, but she didn't think this would be a very fun thought game. "It's- it's not their fault. If I- It's just easier to not tell you what I'm thinking at all times. But if I wasn't holding back? You wouldn't be able to get me to shut up. I can barely make up my mind on the best of days. I'd be a lot more affectionate. Probably more than you'd be okay with. We wouldn't be here right now because I wouldn't have slept with you more than once because I'd have told you that I want a relationship. So you would have turned me down. I'd send texts every night. Talked about- I'd have talked about..." Chloe was finding it incredibly difficult to stay calm about this. She was sure that Noelle would be okay or on the same page about some parts, but they came bundled up with 'too fast' words. "I would have told you where I wanted a relationship to go instead of stopping at how I want it to begin. Because- because I don't think the seriousness of my feelings should be gauged on how big the wedding is supposed to be. And I'd tell you all about my feelings for you without stopping before it sounds like too much."
noelle
“Crying is part of your process,” she said with a shrug. “You have so many feelings in that pretty body of yours that sometimes you’ve gotta cry. I get that. I electrocute things, you cry,” she said with a shrug and a smile. Different ways of coping, but still an external outbursts that were a way of trying to lessen the amount of emotions whirling beneath the surface. Noelle took her time to digest everything Chloe was saying. The woman was right in the sense that if she hadn’t held back they most likely wouldn’t be where they were which made her realize something really important. “You’re right. If you’d rambled all this after we first slept together, we wouldn’t be here right now, but that’s my baggage. I’d have missed out on an amazing woman, so while part of me is glad you held off, I’m also sad. I’m sad that I wasn’t mature and open enough to start having feelings for you being completely yourself.” Noelle had been told that one day she’d feel the way she was describing. She used to think people were just dumb, hopeless romantics that couldn’t accept her being happy alone, but they were right. Eventually, she’d find someone that would make her think maybe. “I like your cuddles, kisses, and hand holding, so your affection should be okay. I’m not tending up anymore, and I initiate it because I want to be touching you. Weddings are over rated. I’m not someone who cares about them either way, so I understand you there. But just, you accept me completely. You deal with me being a grump, meaner than you understand, and very slow on progress emotionally. So, let me accept you,” she asked with a tilt of her head. It wasn’t fair that Noelle had the freedom of not having to worry, but Chloe did.
chloe
"Should I invest in some good insulated gloves?" Chloe asked seriously. The hazard level wasn't known to her. Chloe was not entirely sure whether crying and electrocution were particularly effective techniques... She was still pretty worried if Noelle's electronics would be okay. It wasn't... Fun to hear that everything had only worked out because of her pain, but Chloe had more or less known. She was still trying to figure out what the correct level of no-filter was. "I only want to get married if my dad's there and there's no party or ceremony. I know, sounds weird for me to say it. Weddings are the only party I refuse to plan. They're always some kind of disaster. Also I always cry at them even when I don't know the couple." Sighing dramatically, Chloe shifted her position so that she was even more on top. "You're progressing very well, I promise. It's sort of difficult not to be weak when you keep getting sweeter. I don't really understand how that happens, but I won't complain."
noelle
If Noelle ever let her electricity get out of control to the point that she hurt Chloe, the vet would never forgive herself. She had worked hard to make sure her anger didn’t get her to that place. “No, I won’t hurt you with my power. That’s an easy promise for me to make.” Trees, random patches of sand, and soda cans are another story. They aren’t safe along with certain very annoying humans. “That doesn’t sound weird,” she said with confusion lacing her tone. “I mean, I’m not going to lie and say I’ve spent loads of time thinking of my perfect wedding, but I’ve never seen the point of the big ones. The loads of money, huge guest list, and all the complications is rather unnecessary to me. You’re taking a day that’s meant to celebrate love and turning it into stress.” When Chloe moved to cuddle closer, Noelle maneuvered her arm so she could wrap it around the woman and have it rest on her hip. “Are you happy? I mean, are you really happy or just being patient in hopes of being happy? Because as much as I like you, I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
chloe
"I trust that you won't," Chloe said, confident enough to accept this promise. Her own powers were a non-issue at this point when it came to control, but they were also not especially powerful or dangerous. Noelle's didn't seem especially built for safety, but the conviction meant something. "I wouldn't have expected you to have a dream wedding in mind, but I think people expect that from me." Chloe made another weird, exasperated noise, and just kept lessening personal space. "I'm happy that you like me after all, and that it doesn't seem like a horrible burden for you to meet me halfway. I'm happy with trapa- Not trapezoid. Trepidation. I want to build something that lasts with you. If that's okay?"
noelle
“Just because you’re an event planner for a living,” she asked curiously. “That’s silly. Sure you love your job, but that also means you know more about what goes into it than anyone else. If anyone was to caution against it, I guess I’d see them as someone in your position. That’s just me though.” Noelle didn’t see things with hopeless romantic glasses on. She didn’t understand the women that spent their days fantasizing about their big wedding. To her the thing that should have the move attention devoted to it would be the relationship being celebrated by the wedding. “That’s okay,” she said before placing a kiss on Chloe’s cheek. “Is it okay for us to just veg out watching a movie or show until dinner? I’m sure we can scrounge something up together with what’s in my kitchen.”
chloe
"Probably... But I'm really, really not a wedding planner! It's on my website that I don't do weddings. Everyone who dates me should read my website before going any further..." Chloe looked up in alarm. "Have you read up on my website yet? I- Never mind. That can wait." She didn't want to derail everything too far when she was supposed to be here to be comforting and patient. "Yeah. yes. Of course... Is it bad that I want to watch that silly Disney + movie for Christmas that has your name and Anna Kendrick? I haven't seen it before, but I've been sort of curious what your face will be like when we watch it... Sorry. If."
noelle
Noelle had no idea that rambling could be such a cute habit, but there she was smiling at Chloe as she talked a mile a minute. “I’ve read your website,” she said honestly to answer the question the woman obviously had pop into her mind. It went with the flow of conversation after all, and even though she wasn’t someone that could plan past girlfriend yet, she did know that was important to know. “And just so you know, not wanting a big wedding isn’t a deal breaker for anything. I wouldn’t care. It’s a piece of paper that doesn’t really change anything. People put way too much emphasis on it really.” It was seen as such a big milestone even though it rarely changed things anymore. Decades ago people didn’t move into together until marriage, and in some cases didn’t have sex either, so she understood it being seen as a big step. Now though, that wasn’t the case. “You want to watch Noelle,” she asked with a small laugh. “Sure, Chlo. The remote should be on the TV stand next to you. I know moving will be such a struggle since I make a very comfortable pillow,” she teased.
chloe
"Oh!!" By this point, Chloe was kicking herself. Of course Noelle was just that thorough. It made her breath get stutter for a moment at how much she liked being paid attention even while not present. Everything was almost too clandestine at this point, and she just hoped that Noelle didn't change her mind about wanting the too-big wedding if things progressed further. "Yeah, I want to watch Noelle. I always want to watch Noelle." Based on her goofy little grin, it was pretty apparent that Chloe was pleased with herself for that comment. "You're the best pillow I could have asked for, but I'm here for you today, so I'll be good and get the remote." Chloe shifted her position so she could press an affectionate but careless kiss to Noelle's chin, and then scrambled off to get the remote. Since this was not a terrible burden of a distance, she was not away for long before taking up more of Noelle's personal space once again while working to get the television on. "Basically whatever you want is yours today, okay? Okay. Buckle in for your Christmas movie."
noelle
The joke was so corny, but it was so adorable coming from Chloe. “You’re so cute, and I’m surprised you’re not tired of watching yet. You have access whenever you want to,” she replied and for once didn’t lace it in innuendo. Their time together was becoming about more than sex, and the veterinarian found herself appreciating it just as much. When Chloe settled back in against Noelle, she easily got comfortable. Cuddling was something she was quickly getting used to with the woman. Plus, it felt nice to make Chloe so happy. the woman thrived off of physical touch. “I just want you, so I’m good. Christmas in July is a thing, so let’s do this.”
#ch:np#icc#//if you can believe it we finished writing this july 21 but it does not seem to have been posted
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Team ALAN: Lovely In-CON-veniences
Part 3 of Team ALAB commissions for @the-hapless-ace
This was a mistake.
When you join a terrorist organization, you have to learn how to sense danger before it occurs. You either learn to do it early or have to learn from experiences, sometimes not without the loss of some limbs and sanity. Adam should have know that when Ruby burst into their room with that creepy smile of hers, he should have run and hidden for a week or two.
The Vale Comic Con was an event not unknown to Adam, if only because he once considered it as a potential target for White Fang attack. And no, it wasn't because of the overwhelming amount of Ninja Catgirl cosplayers there. He simply hated the fetishism with reagrds to the faunus. Rehardless of that, he absolutely refused to go.
Unfortunately, he owed Weiss a date of her choosing. And just like the real Schnee, she refused to suffer alone.
"Oh my Gods, can we please take a picture?"
The decision came last moment. And since |Ruby refused to allow him to go there in his normal clothes, he had to make do with whatever stuff he had lying around. His old cloak without the rose emblem. His old mask without color marks. And of course, the black wig provided to him by Blake. Apparently, his ex couldn't miss the chance to get some laughs out of it.
"You look just like the Joker!"
"The clown?"
"No, from Persona series!"
"Ah, right."
He had no idea who that was. In a couple of moments, thankfully, that humiliation was over. Before he could get back to Weiss to give her another piece of his mind though, another couple of girls approached him. More pictures? Fine, whatever got that off his back.
"Can you take a rose from my hands with your mouth?"
Sure, whatever. Quickly, he did as asked. The girl ran away squealing.
"Can you cover your eyes with your hands, please?"
She did promise him to leave quickly so why not. The girl wandered off smiling.
"Can I sit in your lap?"
"Yeah, su-"
The ground shook. The air around them dropped a few degrees in temperature before the wall of ice separated him from the surprisingly large crowd of women. Were they under attack? Finally! Some chance to escape this madhouse and-
"Adam. Taurus."
The chilling and emotionless tone pierced through the air, his eyes drawn towards the source of it. Surrounded by ice and snow, in the middle of the hall stood none other than his girlfriend. And she was absolutely burning with rage, if only the giant Knight of white and blue looming over her was any indication.
"I leave for a few seconds and you are feeling up some other girls?"
What?
"I didn't do anything like that!" Was it really how it looked? He was just trying to get them off his back. It was either caving in to their demands or cutting them down. And it was her and Ruby that explicitly forbade him from killing the people he found annoying. "You know this is not my fault, right?"
Something clicked in Weiss' eyes. The semblance of clearance and understanding that promised him the peaceful resolution and the quiet for the rest of this already unpleasant and annoying day.
That promise died an ugly death as the girl's eyes lost any and all light and her lips stretched into an ugly smile.
One that promised only bloodshed and death.
"You are right... This is not your fault at all."
Good, maybe things weren't so bad.
"It is all these harlots that want you!"
...
Shit.
ALAB
"Yang, are you angry at me?"
"No."
"You look angry."
"I don't."
"Your hair is on fire and your eyes are burning red."
"And?"
Ren looked at his girlfriend's face, wondering what he should say. What he could even say when faced with this angry pout of hers. In many ways. Yang was just as emotionally broken as he was. She hid her abandonment issues and insecurities behind the cocky attitude and pride much like he hid his anger and pain behind the stoic and serene attitude.
But no matter how much they masked their fears and insecurities, those still existed and sometimes came to the surface in the most unfortunate of times. Just like their current situation.
"Sorry for getting us kicked out of that contest," Yang said as they sat down in a nearby cafe. It was a nice place and, thankfully, with only a few people. It was pretty early right now so most attendees must have been stuck buying merch and meeting all the celebrities that were here today. "I know I could have handled that... better than I did."
That was one way to put it.
Ren had little reservations about his body. And even though he was embarrassed with the outfit Yang picked for him, he grew comfortable with it very quickly. Yang herself said she wanted to show off her boyfriend's amazing body in that skintight outfit that consisted of only a shirt that covered his chest and a tight pair of shorts. And she did enjoy the jealous and hungry looks thrown his way.
For a total of ten minutes before she started frantically looking for something to cover him with.
She found nothing and so spent the last hour or so glaring at every woman that passed them by. It was fine, Ren told himself. Glaring and growling was fine as long as things didn't become physical. They eventually did, mostly because he couldn't help himself. Ren rarely indulged in things like video games or junk food like his friends. But when the chance to get the next edition of his favorite game came, he simply couldn't let this chance pass him by.
So he signed up even though Yang wasn't interested and got ready to win. It was all good and great for the first two stages. He was in the lead and, by the looks of it, would be coming home with the prize in his hand.
Then the third stage announced was the couple game. And unfortunately, for all the single ladies and gentlemen, they were paired up with random contestant. It was clear the stage was meant to see who could adapt the fastest and give the most coherent performance. He was lucky to draw the second strongest contestant for himself.
Who turned out to be Neon, the girl Yang fought just a few days ago.
He could have sworn he heard something snap. And when he looked at Yang... Well, he told himself she wouln't do anything drastic in the open.
And for the first few minutes, he was actually right. Their dance was energetic and synchronized, him acting as the strong and solid foundation for Neon's more flashy and bright moves.
The music came to an end, the crowd exploded with claps and whistles. They were going to win, for sure. That game was as good as his!
Then Neon delivered a loud and sharp slap across his ass.
And next thing he knew, the dancing contest turned into a huge catight.
"Ren?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you angry at me?"
"No."
"You look... Well, I never can tell but I would be angry if I were you."
"I am not though," a little bit upset. But not angry. "Plus, I am sure you are not going to-"
She was gone.
He turned to look at the trail of blazes left behind. The sound of an all too familiar laugh of one rollerblading huntress was the proof enough his day was about to become much louder and hotter.
ALAB
Mercury loved to drive the little Red crazy.
Call him an asshole but there was something incredibly satisfying about watching the girl so confident on the battlefield turn into a blushing stammering mess. Sometimes he would kiss her out in the open or flirt with her during the spar. She looked so cute when she was trying to take his head off with that scythe of hers while burning red as her cape.
Today was an exception, though.
Today it was him on the other end of the stick.
"C-Come on, Red, be reasonable here, please?" He was backed against the wall, the passers-by either ignoring them or taking pictures. Something about real-life Yandere of whatever the fuck those nimrods were whispering about. "R-Ruby, I swear to Gods, stay away from me with that marker!"
She dressed up as some superhero named... Flasher or whatever, he didn't pay much mind. He did, however, take the opportunity to show off his assets and get the girl all hot and bothered under that skintight suit of hers. Seriously, for the girl with so many reservations and social troubles, she seemed unaware of how many guys threw horny looks her way.
He did. And now those guys stayed far away from her.
Apparently, she was not as oblivious as he thought and noticed all the lustful and hungry looks. But only the ones that came from other girls towards him. Which brings us back to him, backed into the corner with his girlfriend trying to mark him of all things!
"I will be quick, Mercury, I promise!"
"That's a permanent marker, Ruby!"
"I am sure we can remove it later!"
"This doesn;t make it better!"
In hindsight, it was all his fault. He should have chosen something that could be actually zipped up. Instead he went dressed as this emo ninja with weird eyes powers who dressed like a stripper. And now Ruby wanted to write her name on his chest like some toy.
Sounded kinky but it wasn't!
"I will buy a bunch of strawberry cookies a-!"
"No!" She yelled, covering her ears. "You can't bribe if I can't hear you!"
An opening to exploit! Yes!
He rushed past her and into the crowd. Maybe he could snatch someone's cape or something? Before he could rob some poor sucker, the torpedo of rose petals smashed into him from behind. Positioning herself on the top of his stomach, Ruby showed no hesitation or shame as she breathed down his neck.
With the eyes full of the terrifying emotion and her smile so hollow it sent chills down his smile, Ruby whispered:
"Now they all will know you are mine and only mine!"
Her marker stabbed into his chest like a knife, marking him as her property and lover.
Somehow, he didn' feel so scared about it.
"Now let's go and show them all that you are mine!"
... And now he was.
ALAB
"Go and tell her she is ugly."
"I am not doing that."
"Fine, then the collar stays on."
"Ugh..."
Out of his entire team, Jaune was possibly the only one excited to come here. He never attended one of the major conventions since, well, his town didn't have any and he barely had the money to come here. So when Ruby won the total of eight passes here, he was ready to kiss her! Well, not really, since she was dating Mercury and that was violation of a bro code.
Also because he also had a girlfriend whom he liked a lot
Even if she could become a bit... possessive.
"Come on, this doesn't even make any sense for me to wear a collar! I am Leon Kennedy!" And Leon Kennedy was a badass that could never stay caught for that long. "Also Ada uses a giant crossbow and your weapon looks nothing like that."
"I don't give a shit, it was the costume the guy in the store recommended," Vernal scoffed as she tugged on his leash. Her eyes scanned the crowd like an expert predator. She saw a couple of nerds drooling over how tight the pants hugged her legs and ass. Heh, good time jerking off, losers. Then her eyes caught some girls drooling over how tight Jaune's pants hugged his ass and legs.
...
They would have to go. Not now, of course. Her boyfriend always got upset whenever she threatened other girls with violence, Gods know why though.
"V-Vernal, where are we going?"
"Just shut up and follow me, loverboy."
Vernal might have lived in Beacon now but she still lived by the laws of her tribe. And the law of the strong was simple back home: See. Want. Take.
The last part - about putting down anyone who tried to take something from you - was an unspoken rule, of course. Back in the tribe, it was the strongest who got the best food and stuff. Not because they were better at scavenging and stealing, but rather because they knew how to take something from others better. And Vernal knew that, if she allowed even one of the girls here approach her boyfriend, she would give everyone the signal she was soft.
Not happening.
"And now for the second place in our couples costu- Hey, ma'am, you are not supposed to-Oh! Wait, not in the face! Not in the face!"
The silence fell over the crowd.
All eyes were on them,
Vernal took the mic.
Jaune covered his face.
"Alright, listen up, all of you! I know that most of you here are losers with nothing better to do than dress up as leather-clad morons and bitches and think you are cool because you watched some Mistralian cartoons with lots of yelling. I also know that at least eighty per cent of you are fucking virgins desperate to get some and watching some camgirls dress up like your favorite cartoon girls drives you nuts," she ignored the death glares thrown her way. Jaune yelped as Vernal dragged him up and planted a deep wet kiss on his lips, invading his mouth with her tongue for the crowd to see. "Having said that, neither me nor MY boyfriend here are as lame you all. And if I see any of you bitches looking at my fucking man, remember-"
She spread her arms, showing her toned body for people to drink in.
"- this is what he enjoys every night. Remember that before looking at him next time!"
Vernal dropped the mic.
Then she grabbed him by the collar and began passionately marking him as hers.
Regardless of that, Jaune would cry as he would later find out he was banned from this convention for the foreseeable future.
Just like the rest of his and RWBY teams.
#alab#rwby#team alab#jaune arc is leon kennedy#vernal is ada wong#lie ren is nikaido ren#yang xiao long is caulifla#mercury black is sasuke uchiha#ruby rose is flash#adam taurus is joker#weiss is saber
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Another real long “I don’t like Bumbleby” post (Part 1)
So this one was a long time coming. I kept postponing it, polishing it, making it look the nicest I could, but it’s finally here. And it’s quite long. Let’s just, uh, start.
The first thing I wanna say is, I watched RWBY without interacting with the FNDM, just at the start of this year. I didn’t know what Bumbleby was, nor its impact in the overall FNDM. I was blissfully unaware of what was going on, so I dived in with a clean, open mind.
First impressions and development (or the lack thereof)
I didn’t think about Bumbleby. For those who know me, I ship characters VERY easily and I don’t really care if it’s a gay, het, lesbian ship, I can and I WILL ship them. I shipped Ruby and Penny like crazy. Ruby and Emerald made my heart jump. Jaune and Ren looked insanely cute together, and Sun and Weiss had very nice potential. And in V2, in the Burning the Candle episode, when Yang had a heartfelt conversation with Blake, and hugged her, I was like “oh?”. It was the first time I had seen Yang this vulnerable, and while I really ignored her through the first volume, this scene made me realize she was more than it meets the eye. And she chose to be vulnerable… with Blake. Oh?
Then Blacksun happened. Oh.
I didn’t like Blacksun. I still don’t like it. It’s predictable and boring for my tastes. But it has a privilege Bumbleby doesn’t: development.
I will never understand this choice. Barb said it was planned from the beginning. The question is, then: why didn’t y’all spend time developing Bumbleby? Bees will tell me it was developed, but I’ll suggest y’all to take off your rose-colored glasses and revise those interactions. I totally understand the warm, fuzzy feeling when your ship talk, even look at each other (my ships are 99% rareships so I take what I can get), but deep down you know reality isn’t like that. I’ve seen the 40-minute essay about Bumbleby; yes, you can attribute to every interaction a romantic feeling, but I can do the exact same with Jaune and Ren, and fans will roll their eyes at me and tell me it isn’t like that. The only remotely romantic interaction was the whole Burning the Candle episode. It was a nice episode.
“But Onion”, y’all will say, “are you going to ignore V3 onwards? The plot completely ties Blake and Yang together”. Same as Blake and Sun. Yes, Yang lost an arm for Blake, and yes, she feels betrayed and everything, but… why should I think it’s romantic? Blacksun is being developed at the same time, following common romance tropes that apply to the rest of canon ships, so why should I think it’s any different? Yang could have lost an arm for Weiss and I have no doubt she’d have felt the same. (I also think Weiss would have called her and checked on her every day, until Yang even heard her in dreams.)
That brings me to my second point. Let’s trust Barb, it was planned from the beginning. Then what was Blacksun supposed to be? “It makes the point that romantic relationships don’t always work and sometimes it’s better to stay as friends.” Valid point, but… Blake? Sun? Why did you keep at it? Blake, why did you kiss him on the cheek? That’s misleading, for the audience I mean (Sun already knows the script). When I friendzoned guys, and when the girls I know friendzoned guys, absolutely none of them kissed the dude on the cheek. The most they did was give a pat on the back or shoulder. Let me know if it’s an American thing to kiss guys you friendzone, because maybe it’s the cultural barrier that keeps me from understanding “yes, they’re friends and nothing more!”.
And yes, I know Sun told Neptune it was never about that. What was it about then, Sun? Were you trying to get Weiss’ attention by making her jealous? Were you trying to get Blake to paid for the food? I don’t buy that Sun explicitly flirted with her just to be friends. Else I’m an alien and it’s my second day on Earth, or Sun tried to convince himself to feel less pain. Or who knows? Maybe he really was flirting with her to be friends. Maybe he flirted with Neptune too. Writers, give us proper answers. And no, FNDM, filling in the story holes with “show don’t tell, there’s a logical explanation for it” is still fanon and doesn’t count as canon. Show don’t tell is a rule, not an excuse.
Anyways, after the whole coming and going, Sun finally leaves the scene for Bumbleby to thrive on sudden romantic interactions, which are a little late at most. It’s confusing. Yang never felt jealous when Blake showed attraction to Sun. They didn’t choose to clearly spend time together, at least with the “we’re partners” excuse. I’ll delve into this point later, but for now: we had Blacksun, suddenly we have Bumbleby, and we’re supposed to have been cheering for them the whole time. Uhm, was this supposed to be a plot twist?
Okay, I may be biased on this one, but listen to me. I don’t like this kind of plot twist. Oh, we have a heterosexual couple… OR SO YOU THOUGHT! THE TRUTH IS THAT THE LESBIANS ARE CANON! WE’VE TRICKED YOU, WHAT MADMEN WE ARE!
Get it? My problem isn’t that Blacksun isn’t canon. My problem is that the writers are using a wlw relationship as a tool, a surprise, manipulating and tricking the audience. It doesn’t feel genuine--it feels like they just wanted to cause controversy--or sell. At the end of the day, Bumbleby is way more popular than Blacksun, and a big part of the FNDM came for the bees. Don’t y’all ever wonder why voice actors don’t talk as much about other characters, or Ruby herself? The main main character?
Let’s bee honest: at this point in time, the biggest thing keeping RWBY afloat is Bumbleby.
“And what’s the problem with all that?”, bees may ask. “What’s wrong with feeding us some good bees?” Ship whatever you want, y’all. But I don’t like getting ships shoved down my throat and treated as peak LGBT+ representation when it didn’t get the time and treatment it deserved. Not all that glitters is gold, guys. (Especially Yang.)
Racism
Oh boy.
Racism is quite the great deal in Remnant… at least that’s what the show tells us. It doesn’t show it. No, Velvet doesn’t need to get stones thrown at her to show us discrimination. But, you know… if there was discrimination, I don’t think she would be in Beacon in the first place. Or that Leonardo would be the headmaster of Haven… Adam Taurus, pack your things and go home; there’s no faunus discrimination worth the fight. (Wait! Don’t go yet, you still have work to do.)
What does racism has to do with Bumbleby?, you may ask. Well, it’s Blake’s main plot. I think it has a lot to do with Bumbleby… but uh, it seems I was wrong. Yang isn’t interested in it, so I guess it’s just Blake’s problem. Until uh, Adam makes a scene, but that doesn’t have much to do with the fact he’s a faunus.
It’s still pretty distasteful of a human to kill a faunus, but I’ll tackle that point a bit later.
Blake’s faunity? is very important to her. If she’s an important person to Yang, why doesn’t Yang show interest in it? She didn’t even defend Velvet, even though she could have punched Cardin in the face. She sits around sighing “It must be hard to be a faunus” and annoys Blake with a lighter. This only shows me Yang doesn’t care about Blake’s identity, and not in a good way.
I know, I know, I take the faunus issue to heart. It must be because I’m a person of color. I could talk hours and hours about the horrendous execution of faunus racism (reinforcing stereotypes, horrible analogies and really unfortunate implications), but I’ll limit myself to Blake for now.
Yang doesn’t care. She’s not one bit interested in reading faunus’ history, in asking Blake about her experiences, in thinking how she could help as a human. She’s like those people who say “I’m blind to race” as if it were a good thing. Yeah, you don’t discriminate, but you dismiss other people’s culture and background. It’s part of who we are. Some of us will take it better, some of us worse, but acknowledging Blake’s identity in this case could do wonders. That way Yang could show interest in her as a person, her motives to fight, her struggle.
But she didn’t. In fact, she did quite the contrary.
Bonus: I’ve recently seen a… hysterical headcanon. As it turns out, some bees were excited at the idea of Blake getting branded and Yang going berserk, later saving all the faunus in the mine. It was supposedly justified by “faunus needed a reason to respect her” and of course, Bumbleby angst. Do I need to point out the White Savior trope and how blatantly racist and harmful it is? Do I really need to? Considering faunus are supposed to represent the civil rights movement? Especially knowing Adam’s previous treatment? If faunus were explicitly Black, this would be… well, this is a disaster, but it gets swept under the rug. As a woman of color, this headcanon just makes me want to cry.
I think I’ll have to divide it into two parts so it doesn’t get too heavy. Part 2 is here.
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archie
sonmez-b-vc
visiual comm
spodeake
Untitled
maddiebuckleymybeloved
Thirsting for Dennis Reynolds 24/7