“nine would never do this” “nine isn’t afraid like ten” oh my goddddd they are literally the same alien but they come from different circumstances and are defined by different things:

nine comes from loss. the time war and the destruction of gallifrey is new for him. therefore, from his perspective, he has everything to gain - the main one being rose. that’s why he genuinely has to decide between losing rose and saving the world, because he hasn’t gained the world. if anything it’s a backdrop. but he has rose.

what nine needs to learn is that things and people can change - himself included. he is far less of a pacifist than ten because his morality is giving things a chance, ie the nestene consciousness in the very first episode. this is also the crux of the dalek episode, rose’s point is not entirely “guns are bad” but “it’s changed”. you see this change in the difference between how nine and ten treat cassandra, specifically in how cassandra shows empathy for the sick woman.

ten, in comparison, has gained. he has rose and a family to have christmas with. and that means he really only has things to lose - again, the main one being rose. because nine came from nothing he was essentially content enough to just have rose in his presence and have her choose him. ten now sees his relationship with rose in longer terms (i cannot stress enough that nine was not counting on his survival but was very accepting of his death, so he’s basically just elated to still be alive and to have rose reciprocate his feelings before he regenerates) and therefore has to recognise that he will inevitably lose her one day.

nine is not thinking about “the curse of the timelords” because he exclusively thinks of himself as a survivor.

it’s the fear of loss that really separates the two characters. because ten’s morality is actually pretty similar to nine’s for most of s2. people say that his “you get one warning” speech from school reunion is a prelude to time lord victorious but it feels much more like nine to me. he has compassion, for the cybermen and even cassandra and the werewolf, but he doesn’t really offer to save anyone with the frequency he will in later seasons. when it comes to the wire, the devil, and the daleks (aka the main three that threatened rose) he’s ready to kill them with limited preamble.

but then he does lose rose and he cannot bear it. he loses her and then murders a bunch of children, gets called out, and then goes pretty much the complete opposite way because he cannot bear any more loss. think about it: nine hears the ENTIRETY of satellite 5 get massacred and is horrified but keeps going. if ten had heard that he would be a screaming wreck.

"ten is a coward" is literally the ENTIRE point? some of nine's last ever words are "coward, any day" because he is sick of being a killer. and i actually fundamentally disagree with that action of his, but i get why it matters. because it shows he changed, and that's not what he believed when we first met him. he thought he was broken and that humans were a bunch of stupid apes, and by the end he is deeply in love with a human and knows he was fantastic.

it is therefore not surprising that davros is the doctor’s worst nightmare because he comes for two regenerations: he breaks nine when he says people can change, but you changed them for the worst; he breaks ten with the reminder that people have lost their lives for and because of him. so you get this pure trauma response of ten offering actual fascist davros safety and yelling at tentoo for "committing" genocide (and tentoo likely reverts back to that nine-era morality not only because he's "born from blood" but because he's actually born from gain - he got rose back).

ten is also a tragedy (where nine is not) because he is ultimately, utterly, completely defined by loss. nine was resigned to his fate (everything has its time and everything dies) and ten was born from hope and love, which systematically get ripped away from him. he was born wanting to live, specifically with the woman he loves, and he doesn't even get to die in the same universe as her.

also the whole "nine would never gitf" ten wouldn't be ten gitf if it was written properly but may i remind you that a couple of hours before he kissed and died for rose he was also blatantly flirting with lynda with a y? "ten was disrespectful he made rose act as a dinner lady" and nine let jabe ask HIM if rose was his prostitute after he’d called rose his plus one. they are not healthy aliens when it comes to people they like!

So here are the rough outlines of a few things I'm working on rn. Please let me know if any of these sound interesting or if I should scrap em all together. A few I have mostly done but idk

Nanami x reader

- corporate life nanami before he goes back to the school. TW lots of corporate lingo the first few chapters and nanami is an excel guy. Reader is the assistant to nanamis senior manager so they're familiar with each other and dare I say friendly? Reader has ce and can see curses but wasn't born into sorcerer society so family and reader have just always been convinced it was a mental illness until a situation with level 2 grade curse has nanami saving them and he kinda has to spill the beans on everything. Gunna try and tie it back to the main plot of jjk with reader also being a motivating factor for why nanami went back - he wants to get them help too. Multi part fic, a little canon divergent but not sure how much.

Naoya x reader - this is gunna be a full blown horror story

- hello arranged marriage and reproductive horror. TWs for very bad misogyny (both internal and external), infertility, miscarriage, and eventual psychosis of reader. Essentially reader comes from a prestigious family and is matched with Naoya. Reader is the "perfect wife" but then the issue of infertility comes up (haven't decided if it's naoya or reader who's infertile) and it causes reader to spiral. This will get kinda dark ngl. This one isn't as far along as the other tbh I'm still deciding if I even want reader to be the one who naoya is married to or instead if reader would be a surrogate for them. That option would definetly give me more horror elements to play with both in the internalized misogyny aspect and reproductive aspect. If surrogate route then I don't think reader will make it to the end. Like naoyas wife will snap and murk them most likely. I wanna play with that idea of the perfect wife and how unsustainable it is. Also wanna be considerate of folks who are infertile. I personally can't think of a horror story that centers infertility (a lot of one's I've seen center fertility in and of itself - like having the child is the horror element) but if this is a trope I don't know about then I won't be doing this.

Younger (think 19 - early 20s) naoya x reader nsfw

- completely different story from the previous. Idk if it'll be a whole fic or just one shots that can be read together but again tw for misogyny. Basically naoya is attracted to reader even when she's supposed to be like everything he claims to detest about "the modern woman". Reader treats him like the dog he is. Not a lil love story by any means - this is just hate sex and naoya being degraded but maybe a soft moment or two between em.

Gojo x reader

- just a one shot of when gojo and reader went to school together. Gojo is an annoying little shit and reader absolutely hates his presence on a good day but gojo don't know how to read a room. Reader gets sick and gojo plays nurse despite their protests. Very soft and fluffy. Could age them up and go the nsfw route with this and it'll take place when they're teachers instead. Have this mostly finished and will probably be posting either way - just don't know if it'll be nsfw or not.

A little bit of what I am feeling

So, based on this post here:

I was going to write this as a reply to it, but I thought it would be better as my own post here. (It is a BIG POST)

I agree with what the anon was saying there and I wanted to add my opinion to it.

And, just to clarify, this is NOT a "competition" or anything like that!

I LOVE Jensen, unfortunately whenever we have the opportunity to interact with him about Supernatural (sadly, only CE cons nowadays, here is hoping for a breath of fresh air on JIB), the topics of Destiel or even CASTIEL are almost never brought up (excluding that Cockles panel that we had cause that happened on the spot when Misha brought it up to answer the question), and yeah, multiple factors can be pointed out, like the panels, and the person accompaning him on those, and the audience, and PR, and the company... Sadly, there is ALWAYS something… I am just TIRED of, in the end, it "relying" on Misha to be the one that talks/answers about anything related to Destiel AND with it, him always getting the short end of the stick and the hate when something goes wrong, he could just NOT talk about it and not interact with it, some may say, but that is the thing, if he doesn't then who will? Jensen doesn't get involved with the subject on his panels because of the envirionment and the company there... The panels are mostly focused on J--2 and Sam and Dean (Creation probably having a say on this) which DEFINITELY doesn't help cause then the other side think that they are on the right and that even J--2 support them and also think that it is only about their sibling ship...

I also don't understand how they (Creation) continuously do that B*rn Photo OP ROMANTICIZING Dean's death if Jensen himself has already said that Dean's death is something that he still struggles with... They (Creation) veto LOTS of things, why not that one? Because we ALL KNOW that while the OPs can say that they are asking for it as a "Brothers moment", it is so NOT about THAT at all! (according to some of them, sooner or later those two are going to kiss, in fact they can't wait for that to happen, it seems...) And unfortunately, I saw the latest one of those, that happened on this weekend's con, and... Yeah... So what gets me is that THAT is allowed but to talk about a CANON moment (at least from Cas' side) that happened on the show, is not, cause it is uncomfortable... SERIOUSLY, are you telling me that talking about a gay angel is more uncomfortable than those Photo OPs?? (Again, this is relating to Creation and the vetos)

Jensen doesn't NEED to confirm Destiel from Dean's side if, for any reason, he can't or doesn't want to(although it is CONFIRMED to me THAT they BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER and NO ONE will take THAT AWAY FROM ME), I just would LIKE to HEAR his thoughts about it like the normal thing that it is, if not as lovers AT LEAST as BEST FRIENDS.... Instead of it being seeing/portrayed (by Creation) as this "BANNED THING" that should never be spoken about…

The way we have been treated (at least it feels that way to me) is like we are INSANE, we are DELUSIONAL, we FORCE our SHIP, we are THE HORRIBLE AWFUL fans that are ALWAYS ruining it... The SPN production ALREADY said "F* YOU, you don't matter" to us with that HORRENDUOS FIASCO OF A FINALE, but THEN to be "forced" to hear about how the Finale was PERFECTION and it was the BEST THING that happened to Sam and Dean and all that (PR or not), when they KNEW that the Finale HURT LOTS of FANS; to CONTINUE to be TREATED LIKE we DON'T MATTER, like we are NOT WORTH talking with or about unless it is for jokes; to exclude us and the characters that we like; and make it that there is ONLY Sam and Dean and "everything" related to them is allowed, but almost EVERYTHING related to Destiel/Cas/Misha (even some fanarts and questions) is not; and how fans of Destiel/Misha/Cas are treated badly not only by the other side BUT ALSO by the organizers, when they put people that are DEFINITELY AGAINST them as handlers for the things that these fans will be interacting with... It HURTS us EVEN MORE... Punishing US and making US be seen as the ones FORCING it on them WHEN THEY were the ones that made it happen, is not fair…

Misha was THERE for US, he LISTENED, he ANSWERED, he TALKED to us, he MADE US FEEL SEEN, he made us feel like we MATTER, he SUPPORTED us and OUR ARTS and OUR LOVE (at least, I FELT all of that)!!! He received SO MUCH SH* ALREADY JUST BY DOING THAT, BY STANDING BY OUR SIDE... Why is HE the one that is ALWAYS gettting THE HATE? Why is HE the one ALWAYS at FAULT??? THAT is SO NOT FAIR to him, one of the ONLY ONES that had our backs for all this time and that FOUGHT for us and HE is the one that "fans" don't think TWICE about ATTACKING and saying HATEFUL things to and being horrible to…

Don't get me WRONG, I am NOT saying to hate on Jensen, nor that it is all Jensen's fault, NOT AT ALL, HATE IS NOT THE SOLUTION and it is NOT all his fault EITHER!! I just WISH he would able to show us, fans, more support, I wish he would try (talking to Creation maybe?) to make a LITTLE TIME for us, and to TALK to us, NOT in a TOXIC OPPRESIVE ENVIRONMENT where if you say Cas/Misha/Destiel name in it (or even ask a question about just Jensen/Dean) you will DEFINITELY at least be the target of hateful glares and "ruin the mood" AND will not even receive an honest answer most of the time… But in an environment that we could feel like we belong, we could feel safe, a Panel with Jensen and/or someone else, not necessarily Misha, but at least a Panel where Jensen can talk freely about other things that are not just the boring "same old same old" just to please THAT audience, but I THINK that it HAS to come from HIM, he needs to be the one that wants to do it, you know, and sadly, I can't help but feel like he is comfortable with what he has right now... Being it because of the contract that he has, his projects, being it because of the industry in itself, or other things that might factor in. I am still hopeful that MAYBE we will FINALLY get that when that whole "division" thing happens, but, like, we shouldn't have to "wait" until then when there are others basking on the luxury of doing whatever they want and how they want it disregarding common etiquette and respect... And the little moments and confirmations that we get whenever someone gives Jensen an autograph item that has Destiel in it or a Photo OP with something related to Destiel and he smiles or says something about it are CUTE and LOVELY but I don't think they are enough, they still make us (at least me) feel like a secret, a thing to be "ashamed" of when we are only acknowledge there, at that moment…

I just wish people would be MORE considerate of Misha and of EVERYTHING that he has GONE THROUGH for us, EVERYTHING that he has DONE for us , for us to feel at HOME, for us to feel LOVED and that WE MATTER and that OUR OPINIONS MATTER, and that OUR LOVE MATTERS!

Sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to let this out of my chest. EDIT: Just a little bit of editing here, I want to make sure that people understand that the topics related to the change/choices in panels and the "being uncomfortable" parts are regarding CE (Creation) not Jensen, because the company is the one that makes the schedules and decides mostly what is vetoed and what is not! They are the ones that should make sure the environment that fans are paying to be in IS a SAFE ONE! English is not my main language, and I am sorry if sometimes my point might come across as rude or something like that, it is not my intention at all! My PMs are open, feel free to come talk to me about any doubts on what I said here! I LOVE THOSE TWO GUYS so F* MUCH and I just want happiness for them and for us! :)

First ever character semi-analysis here because this has been on my mind for quite some time.

First I'd like to say that ever since someone on twt mentioned Gojo as a powerless God i just wasn't the same in a way. I would like to say that there's a difference though, Gojo isn't actually a God, not literally anyways but more symbolically and as to how he's being perceived in his own universe, in there he is the closest to God they could have. It's the people around him that actually treat him as such while he is more probably than anyone painfully human and mortal actually. Despite the CT they have, they still are bound by both laws of reality and time that one day their lives will expire anyways. Gojo is phenomenal in what he can do, he can manipulate matters to control gravity, he can bring forth infinity that is everywhere, he can seemingly do anything he tries, or can he? He keeps failing where it matters the most, he keeps losing solely because of his power, not in a physical way but emotional, because of human vulnerability that he knows very well about.

I think it's neat that Gege writes a character that is seemingly untouchable while at the same time showing his limits and his weaknesses. For as much powerful as Gojo is, for as much his CT is called Limitless and him having almost 0 loss of CE, he does in fact have limits and it's this: he's only human. A extraordinary human but still human nonetheless. And i think he sometimes hates his powers, more so for the reason that they separate him from the rest of the World.

P.S on a side note here, I've always wondered how Gojo would fare against someone who would be on par or maybe even stronger than him. Since he never fought anyone remotely close to his level, i think that's where the true limit lies.

Thank you for reading! 🥰

i agree!! i think there's just a a lot of debate abt gojo being a god or godlike that verges into unnecessary territory like there's under analyzing but there's also OVER analyzing, which ive seen quite a bit of ppl do to justify their headcanons, etc. i also think there's a lot of romantic exploration in the whole 'god turns human' or 'god falling in love' which i will eat up every time esp if its stsg lmfao that also kinda contributes to the whole gojo is a god discourse. but also i think it's apparent that he's very human too. im like 99.99999% sure with what's given that gojo doesn't view himself as a god either

The Troubadour

Requested: no

A/N: This has to be my longest piece ever! I hope it was worth the wait and that you enjoyed it. There could be a few mistakes in there both in English and Italian, sorry in advance. I loved writing this, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted but I am a perfectionist and I have rewritten this about 5 times. I just needed to post it now!

Pairing: OC!Diana Bianchi & Damiano David

Words: 3k

Warning(s): swearing, drinking, smoking (I mean it’s the 70s…), smoking weed, my Italian (I have been studying this beautiful language for three years now but people make mistakes)

West Hollywood, California // Mid-January 1972

Red eyes.

Sweaty foreheads.

That is all Diana would see when they screamed at her. “CAN I GET TWO BEERS AND A COKE PLEASE?!”

Working behind the bar was not her dream job. Diana remembered it like it was yesterday, she and her friend Tami had gone to The Troubadour to celebrate the weekend when she saw a “help wanted” poster. It was a godsend. Diana applied there and then and not long after she found herself behind the bar, handing out drinks to people who looked like they were having the best time of their lives. Another plus side was the fact that she could attend the concerts of all the artists and bands for free.

Obviously, there were also downsides to this job. For example, Diana couldn’t go out and live her teenage years. She isn’t allowed to drink (too much) on the job and the hours aren’t exactly great. The pay is okay though and the tips are even better. Half of the people don’t even know how much they are giving and walk off like they didn’t just hand you 20 for an eight dollar drink. She doesn’t complain much about her job but she does feel left behind sometimes. Like when Tami or her other friend chat about some weird adventure they had the night before and who they met or kissed. Diana felt like she missed out on a lot of things but she had no other choice.

Her parents had kicked her out when she was 15. Diana moved in with her grandmother and lived with her for a while until she passed away. She has been living alone in her grandmother’s old apartment ever since. A few friends had moved in with her but then moved out again when they had found a better place to live. So it was just Diana paying the rent for the place.

 “CAN I GET A RUM AND COKE?!” Diana gets snapped out of her thoughts. Shit, what did he want?! She thinks to herself as she stares at the intoxicated man.  “SORRY?!” She shouts back over the loud music. At least she had another reason for not hearing the man.  “RUM AND COKE!” That is all the man yells before turning his band to her so he could face the stage. Some weird indie band is playing tonight. Diana wasn’t really into it and honestly couldn’t wait until her boss would send her home for the night. She puts in a little less rum, the man will probably not even taste the difference.

The band had stopped playing somewhere around two a.m. However not all the guests had left around 2.30 which is something Diana hated the most. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her job but after so many hours standing on her feet, she wanted nothing more than to clean up, go home and get into her warm bed.

 “Diana, can you come here for a minute?” her boss asked. What was that tone, was he going to fire her?! “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Pfew. Diana walked behind him into his office.

 “What can I help you with, Doug?” She asked as she sat down in the very comfortable chair across from him. Doug Weston had somewhat become her parent over the last few years that she had worked here. He was always so kind to her and could always ask him for help if she needed him.

 “I want to get more bands from across the sea. I want interesting people and not just the same bands playing over and over again. New talent that no one has heard of before but will become known because of this place. Inspire new talent, you know?” He was rambling on with his sales pitch as if you had any input, it was his place after all. “And seeing that you can speak more languages than I have ever could, I was wondering if you could write small pieces for newspapers in Europe that will inspire these artists to come here and get all the fame and fortune they want.”

 “Sure, Doug. You know I would do anything to help this place… and you of course”, Diana said while a wide grin spread on her face. She felt like she was moving up when in reality it wasn’t a new job position. She would do anything to not have the same indie bands playing almost every night. Diana would never have imagined that she would change the lives of four individuals barely six months later, and change her own life along with it.

Rome, Italy // Mid-March 1972

 “The Troubadour. The place where artists and bands from all over the world can make it or break it in the United States. It all depends on the crowd. If they love you, you can come back for an entire week! If not you will receive the money for that evening but sadly you won’t be allowed back. It’s always packed with record executives so you could get a sweet record deal out of this experience. Do you have what it takes? Sign up and good luck to everyone competing in the battle of the bands! – D. B.” Damiano finishes reading. “Ragazzi, I honestly cannot wait till we get to play there! It’s going to be veramente stupendo!”

 “Bene Damiano, calm yourself. It’s less than five months away. We still have to play in this dump to even afford to go. We barely have enough money for a motel, we don’t even have the plane tickets yet!” Classic Victoria, always worrying as if she is the mother of the group.  “Calmati Victoria, noi staremo bene”, Ethan jumps in. “Let’s get back to practising before we start another fight, sì?” The rest nods their head and pick up their instruments.  “I was thinking, should we start with I wanna be your slave oppuro no? Is it too much?” Damiano suggest.  “Oh, and for outfits, I have a few ideas?!” Thomas adds like a little kid who is excited for Christmas day.  “Positivo, let’s look at those after practice”, Damiano says. Not even ten minutes later they had many up a little setlist. It was a battle of the bands so they had to at least practice 4-5 songs to play against other bands. Then if they were allowed to come back they had to prepare yet another 6 songs on top of those 5 they had already played. They could do it, they had enough songs in their database but were they going to sing their Italian songs or did they have to translate them? The members of Måneskin weren’t sure yet. Luckily for them, they had four months to think about it.

West Hollywood, California // Mid-July 1972

Diana hadn’t even woken up yet, but on the other side of the city, Måneskin had arrived at the airport.  “Finalmente ci siamo. Ce l’abbiamo fatta!” Thomas exclaims. Damiano chuckles and throws an arm around Thomas’s shoulders.  “Slow down, loverboy. We have not made it yet. We landed yes, but we have a long way to go from here to that stage tonight.”  “How every grown-up of you, Damiano”, Victoria teases. “I bet with Ethan that you would follow the first American girl that you saw in this airport and that we wouldn’t see you until much later.”  “Ha ha, molto divertente, Victoria. Sei una persona così divertente.” They continue their bickering whilst Ethan collects all of their suitcases.   “Addiamo?” He finally asks the group, they all agree and make their way through the busy airport to the designated taxi area. During this, they complain about how crowded it is and how much the air smells. It is nothing like their own country but you have to take chances if you want to become famous like their dream.

Later that day

Doug had told Diana to come into work later than she usually would. It was going to be a busy night and he’d rather have her work during the performances than during the day and wear her out. So here she was around six-thirty instead of two o’clock. It felt so weird because usually when she arrives there is no line out front and now there was one to the end of the block. She passed all the people waiting in line, hearing them complain and moan as she walks up to Mario, the bouncer. He doesn’t even need to see her worker-id, as she walks in he wishes her good luck with tonight. She liked Mario, he was working here before she came and even then he had told her if she ever needed anything him and his wife had an extra bed for her. Honestly, the sweetest guy… also the toughest guy you will ever meet.

As Diana walked to the changing area to hang her coat and bag, she ran into a few participants of tonight’s show. She greeted most of them but they were too busy with themselves, the fame they hadn’t even earned yet was already rising to their heads. Before she could make her way to the bar, Doug called her over.

 “Diana, come here for a second. I want to introduce you to a few people.” Classic Doug, always introducing everybody to everybody. If he believed you could make it, he would introduce you to all his workers. However, the bands did not know this, the workers would treat them a little extra. “They are from Italy as well!” As if Diana herself had moved for their, it was actually her grandparents. She could speak a little Italian but other than her last name, there was nothing Italian about her. Doug briefly introduced the members of Måneskin to Diana, who couldn’t keep her eyes off a certain member. To be quite honest she had not remembered everyone’s names and she stumbled to get her name out of her mouth. All because she was already head over heels with this handsome, tall, young Italian man.

After a couple of introduction, Diana was finally behind her bar, her safe space. Meeting Damiano had made her weak in her knees, she had never had a reaction like this before. She didn’t really pay attention to the competitors and focused on serving the people but when it was Måneskin’s turn, she started to lose focus on her work.

During most of their setlist, Damiano kept glancing over to Diana and winking at her. Or at least that’s what it felt like for Diana. However, after a rather sexy song (let’s be real most of them are) he kissed one of his male bandmates on the mouth. Now Diana is not one to judge people on who they love. She reasons that everyone should love who they want to love and receive love because of it. It wasn’t that she hated it, it kind of turned her on, but she was very confused. Had she read the signs wrong? Were there even any signs to begin with? At times like these she wanted to ask Tami for help yet she was afraid that if Tami came and tried to help her that somehow Tami’s charm would work on Damiano and Diana would still end up with nothing. No, she had to do this on her own, she decided.

After the battle of the bands was over, a few stayed behind to talk with record labels about future arrangements. Diana started cleaning up, and washing and drying a few glasses, secretly listening in on a few conversations.

 “I liked what I saw out there. Let your agent call me and we will discuss your expansion in the United States.” Well, that sounded very good. Diana turned around to see who the band was that this man was talking to, but when she turned around she looked right into Damiano’s eyes.

 “I have been trying to get your attention all night”, he says shyly.  “Really? I thought so but I wasn’t sure”, Diana responds. Damiano raises his hand and scratches behind his head.  “I was wondering, you know. If maybe- ugh. Perchè è cosi difficile?” He mutters, not looking Diana in the eyes.  “Provalo in Italiano?” she suggests and Damiano’s eyes shoot up to meet hers.  “Cazzo. Parli Italiano?” He looks even more nervous now.  “Si, parlo Italiano.” He laughs at her answer.  “Vuoi uscire domani sera?” Diana nods her head, she honestly cannot stop smiling.  “I’d love to go out with you. Do you want me to pick you up at the hotel? That would be easier than you trying to find my house.”  “Yeah, sure. We’re staying at the Millwood Motel, it’s not too far from the airport.”  “Ah yes, I know that place. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He leans over and kisses her cheek before leaving her to finish her work.

That night Diana barely slept. Did Damiano know any places here to take her to? Did she have to come up with a place? What if he was some weird guy? What if he was a murderer?! She sure was happy now that she didn’t give him her address. The following day she woke up around noon. She went to the kitchen and grabbed her Cona coffee maker, if she was to get through the day, she was going to need a big cup of coffee. She put water and coffee ground on the lower half of the pot and put it on the stove. She hated having to watch the coffee boil and couldn’t wait for better times when you would just have to push a button to get your coffee.

Seeing that she woke up around noon, it didn’t take long before Diana met up with Damiano. She asked him if he had anything specific in mind. Surprisingly, he did. He explained that he and his bandmates did a little sightseeing and they walked past a roller skating rink. Damiano always wanted to try that and he thought this would be perfect for their little date. Diana absolutely loved the idea and couldn’t wait till they got there.

Both of them were sad that the night had ended so quickly or so they thought. It was in fact 1 a.m. and they had already spend ten hours together. Diana brought Damiano back to the motel with her car and of course he couldn’t leave without planting a kiss on her lips. They kissed for a while before finally letting each other go.  “We’ll be leaving soon”, Damiano said and looked at their intertwined hands in his lap.  “Already? You just got here two days ago”, Diana complained. She just met him and now he is leaving already? She wasn’t prepared for that. She knew he was leaving at some point, he had to he didn’t live in the US, but still she had hoped for a little more time together.  “Maybe we’ll come back soon. We have a meeting with our agent and that record label guy tomorrow.”  “Could we meet up after? We should catch dinner together, I have another day off”, she suggested. Damiano agreed, kissed her one more time before leaving her car and making his way to his motel room.

The next day

Diana waited for Damiano in front of a large building. She was enjoying the sun on her face when she felt two arms coming from behind and hugging her on her stomach.  “Ciao, amore mio. Sei adorabile oggi”, Damiano said into her ear before kissing the side of her face.  “Ciao, you don’t look to bad yourself”, she said as she turned around. She grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him on his lips, his mates cheering them on in the background. “How did it go in there?” With that question Damiano’s face broke out in a wide grin. “What?”  “Amore, we’re staying here in the US. We got a record deal, we will be here for the entire year!” he shouts and all five of them jump in celebration. “I was going to tell you at dinner, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. We can be together, amore.” Diana broke out in tears, nodding her head, for she had never met a man who she loved more than Damiano. Her Italian lover boy.

Man I know there’s only been one(1) joke about the full version of Oberon’s MyRoom line for Nursery Rhyme that treats it as Rhyme dunking on him, and I know it’s petty to get mad about it, but also there’s A Lot going on in the interaction where reducing it to “Nursery Rhyme dunks on him” pisses me off so I Have to talk about it

Here’s the full line from Nasu’s blog again:

By the way, regarding his remarks to Nursery Rhyme: With a smile, he offers, “After those ____ and readers are gone, why don’t we find a nice, quiet world where everyone’s perspective is equally important, and have a tea party together?” To which she gently smiles and declares, “I’m so sorry, my wonderful prince. But, I love to see all of our readers radiant and happy.” As he watches her turn to leave, he would reply “yeah, go figure” with a sardonic laugh and narrowed eyes.

Nursery Rhyme here isn’t dunking on Oberon, and if she were then given how she talks about people like Anderson the dunking would be way more obvious. Nursery Rhyme actually seems to get along just fine with Oberon, and likewise he seems to get along with her as well (something something characters born from stories and lies and untruths and People Who Aren’t Real).

What’s actually happening here is a respectful disagreement between the two based on how they view stories and audience consumption - Rhyme’s issue isn’t “she doesn’t want to hang out with Oberon”, it’s that Oberon is inviting her to a tea party away from “the audience” and everybody else. Oberon hates the world for how it creates, consumes, and discards stories, and how it views stories an untruths as having no value because they are not real. This is his whole beef when it comes to the Titania situation, this is why he plots to murder Ol’ Billy Shakes, this is why he planned to drag Pan-Human History into the apocalypse, and why he’s bitter and angry that the Lostbelts have to be destroyed for PHH to thrive. Nursery Rhyme though as shown in the text for her Bond CE has kind of the opposite perspective - she’s a living story, and she loves being told, she loves stories being told and consumed by the audience and making people happy. Even if it’s a story’s fate to be consumed, thrown out, seen as valueless, and forgotten as one ages, (a fate especially common to children’s stories and fairy tales), even if the audience grows up to have a miserable and sad life, as long as the audience carries something meaningful or happy from that story with them she is happy. “Even if you forget about the book, please don't forget what was hidden between the pages.”

So when Oberon invites her to have a tea party away from everybody else, IE away from the audience, she turns it down because she doesn’t want to be away from that audience. She’d probably be more than happy to hang out with Oberon if she could drag him out to hang out with everybody else! If they ever actually bother to give her some new MyRoom lines (please game, please, she’s only got the one line for Anderson and nothing else) I’d love it if they added either the other half of this conversation or a new line where she tries to drag Oberon out to Make Some Friends. Oberon seems to anticipate that this would be her response, which is why his end comment is “yeah i figured”, but even then he seems way more respectful of it compared to how he talks about Merlin, and now once Oberon inevitibly gets his appearances in Silly Events I hope he gets more interactions with Nursery Rhyme to flesh this dynamic out.

In conclusion....... I lost steam halfway through and have no idea where I’m going anymore. I do think it’s a disservice to both of their characters to treat this line like it’s Another Dunk At Oberon’s Expense, since it’s really more of a conflict between cynicism on Oberon’s end and idealism on Nursery Rhyme’s. I mean, you can treat it as a dunk if that’s what’s funny, but in context I think this is the situation.

Who You Goin To Choose- Chapter 2

Finally I have update “ Who You Goin To Choose”. If you need a refresher, I have Chapter 1 link below!!

Chapter 1

How I felt after I wrote this chapter:

------------------------------------------------------

“ Babygirl you not happy to see me?” Dominique asked Kia as he let go of her.

Kia was in shocked about seeing Dominique standing right in front of her. Kia looked over to her father to see him looking outside the window at the strip.

“ Daddy, what is this?” Kia asked with her voice going up while walking over to Ernest’s desk. Ernest looks at his daughter.

“ Well it seem like that Dominique is here because his cousin’s husband is facing your husband.” Ernest quietly said in a monotone voice.

Kia walked over to her dad. Looking him in the eye.

“ Daddy, I know what you are doing. I already doing the one thing you tell me to do, but I am not leaving Florian!” Kia yelled at her dad while pointing at him.

Sean, Ross, and Alexis were shocked by what they saw because Kia never stood up to Ernest. Ernest cleared his throat and looked at his only daughter.

“ Well you don’t have too, but remember I told you that the man is going to take all of your money if you got pregnant or after he was done having jungle fever. So with that, I will make sure that I will take you out of the family account so he don’t take mines too.” Ernest said with calmness in his voice.

Kia, eyes blurry with tears, looked at her father. Kia ran out of his office and went to hers.

Ernest turn his head to Dominique and nod for her to go after her. As he did that, he went back into his seat behind his desk. 

“ I can’t believe you going to give her an ultimatum. You know she loves Florian, and you going to make her choose on building her own family or biological family. Then you bring the same man that cheated on her, treated her like trash, made her get rid of a baby, and top it off gave her an STD!” Sean yelled to his father with his deep voice.

Sean started to laughed.

“ You are dirty! Plus, I bet you never told her the money Momma left to us!” Sean snickered while looking at his father, which  Ernest had his head down.

Sean left out of the office and went to his own to cool down. Ross looked at his dad and went out shaking his head. 

With that, it only left Alexis and Ernest.

Alexis wanted to say something, but she couldn’t tell Ernest how to raise his own kids. 

Even though Alexis knew Kia strongly dislike her.

She wanted to help her.

Alexis looked at Ernest as he was typing away on his computer.

As Alexis walked out, she realized that she going to have get into family business even though she knew Kia would be highly upset.

Alexis walk to the elevator and press the button to go down.

She looked around, and saw through Kia’s glass office window, Dominquie rubbing her back while she cried.

He was whispering sweet nothings into her ear, and Alexis could see that Kia was falling for them.

She shook her head as the elevator door open.

Even though Kia may hate her after what she is about to do.

She is trying to save Kia’s marriage.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, 6:00 p.m.

“Uau, ador ce a făcut Kia cu locul !”  Momma Flo screech while walking into Kia and Florian’s house. 

( Wow, I love what Kia did with the place!)

As she was walking in, Florian, Masias, Sandro, and Papa Flo was carrying all the bags that Momma Flo brought . 

With that, many of Florian’s relatives and friends followed into the house. 

With that, Florian put down the bags and finally relieved to be home.

It took them so long, because Momma Flo didn’t tell him that she invite almost everyone from Romania. With that, Flo had to rent a two more vans to fit everyone and their stuff in.

“Deci, unde este Kia?” Florian’s cousin asked with much excitement. One thing about Florian family, they love everybody in Kia’s family and Kia except for Ernest.

( So where is Kia?)

“Ei bine, probabil că se lasă de la serviciu și se îndreaptă spre casă.” Florian said while sitting on the sofa to play with one of his little cousins.

( “ Well she probably getting off work and heading home.”)

As everybody was getting settle and was talking. 

Momma Flo looked at her son and smile.

Seeing him with kids and seeing how happy he was made her happy. She wished that Florian and Kia would hurry up.

However, she knew that Ernest was holding Kia back on it. From the conversations that Florian and Momma Flo had, she could tell that Ernest was trying to keep the two separate.

She really despises that man, because during Florian and Kia’s wedding he was about to object.

Momma Flo was really hoping Kia would stand up to her father, but Kia was just like Momma Flo. A person that loves her father and would do anything to keep her father happy.

Even it means that she will be hurting herself and other people that she loves.

“ Mamă, când vei începe să gătești?” Flo asked while walking towards her. Momma Flo snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her son.

( Momma, when are you going to start cooking?)

“ What?” Flo asked while looking at his mother while drinking his water.

Momma Flo smiled and rubbed her son’s cheek.

“ Nothing,” Momma Flo stated, “ Acum, voi toți oamenii care puteți găti. Vino să mă ajuți!” Momma Flo screamed while taking out pots and pans.

(  “ Now all of you people that can cook. Come help me!”)

Flo laughed at his mom. Florian realized that he left something upstairs for his cousin.

He ran up the stairs into his bedroom to get it. As he found it on the coffee table in their room.

Something on the chair caught his attention.

The silver object that was just freshly puncture and was missing a pill.

Florian picked it up.

He knew exactly what it was.

Florian sighed and and looked up at the ceiling.

Florian head was going through so many thoughts and was going all type of crazy.

She really must didn’t want a baby.

Kia has been lying to me.

The one thought that went through his mind really took him.

Ernest has been putting something in her brain.

As Florian, was starting to analyze his last thought, a voice interrupted.

“ Hi Florian.” Alexis quietly spoke seeing that Florian was in deep thought.

Florian look at Alexis and put on a smile. Florian and Alexis was close friends now as they both help each other navigate life with the Ford’s.

“ Hi Alexis, what are you doing here?” Florian asked while sitting down in the chair.

“ Well I.. I want to talk to you about something.” Alexis hesitated said.

Florian pointed towards the chair which Alexis sat in.

“ Well... it’s about Kia.” Alexis said while breathing very frantically.

Florian head turn to her so quickly.

“ Is she on birth control because I found this.” Florian spated out while putting the birth control on the table.

As Alexis was about to say anything, Kia walk through the bedroom door that was close.

Kia looked at Alexis with eyes of fury. 

“ What hell is this!” Kia smugly said with her eyes looking at Alexis.

“ Nothing is going on Kia.” Alexis  truthfully stuttered out while looking at Kia.

“ Then why was my fucking door close! You are nothing but a hoe!” Kia yelled at Alexis while charging her way.

Before Kia could get to Alexis, Florian stood up in front of her.

“ Now, stop it! I should be asking what the hell is this!” Florian barked at Kia while holding up the birth control.

When Kia saw that, her face drop.

Even though, Alexis thought Kia hid her expression about the birth control.

Florian knew that she was taking it.

“ Alexis, please leave and close the door.” Florian muttered out while still looking at Kia, whom was looking at the birth control in his hand. Alexis quickly left the room and close the door.

As the door close, you could feel the tension in the air.

Kia finally looked at Florian, and she could see the anger written over his face.

“ So, you been lying to me!” Florian screamed at Kia. Kia did what she do best:run.

Kia walked to the closet and started to find some clothes.

“ Are you fucking kidding me Kia! You been fucking lying to me! Then you have the audacity to not look at me!” Florian ran right behind her.

Kia still facing her clothes didn’t turn around to Florian.

Florian chuckled with anger.

“ So I bet your dad had something to deal with this!” Florian shouted again.

Kia took off her dress blouse and skirt to put on so comfortable clothes.

As she got finsih, she turn to Florian, which their eyes met.

“ I don’t want kids Florian!” Kia roared out which hurt her as she said it.

She could see Florian breaking in his eyes even though his face didn’t change. At that moment, it was the air in the room seem like it left.

One thing that was obvious to them both, was that Momma Flo was in the room. She was trying to tell them the food was done, but she got more than she bargain to hear.

“ I’m going to leave for my hair appointment, and I just go to my dad’s house since you have weigh ins tomorrow.” Kia quietly spoken as she grab her purse and left the closet.

Florian was still stucked in the same spot since Kia told him about her not wanting kids.

As Kia got to the door, she saw Momma Flo looking at her with tears in her eyes.

“Kia regândește-te! Florian și tu vei fi părinți buni! Știu că tatăl tău te-a pus la dispoziție pentru această miere! Obișnuiam să fiu tu! Dacă aș fi încă ca tine, nu i-aș fi avut pe Florian și pe Papa Flo în viața mea!” Momma Flo choked out with tears coming down her eyes.

( “ Kia rethink about it! Florian and you will be good parents! I know it was your father that put you up to this honey! I use to be you! If I was still like you, I wouldn’t have had Florian and Papa Flo in my life!”)

Kia looked at her and shooked her head and she left while running out of the house to avoid anybody.

Momma Flo realized that Kia was running from physically, but emotionally. She didn’t want to face that she may lose her dad for her happiness. She also, didn’t want to face that she may lose her husband for her dad’s happiness.

So the only thing she was going to keep doing was running.

However, you sooner or later have to stop running.

—————————————————————

Wow.

Y’all I don’t even have questions for this one because I’m just in schock!!!!!!

Please tell me how you feel by commenting! I love comments good or bad!!!

Please Reblog!

Please Like and Tell Your Friends!!!!

Taglist: @19jammmy @twistedcharismaaa @designerwriterchic @queen-zelieonna @amethyst09 @champagnesugamama @natashacoco @cocobutterqwueen @bvssmob

So. Let’s talk about Veronica Mars. *deeeeeeeep sigh*

Ok, friends. It’s been a goddamn whirlwind for me. I actually went to the Veronica Mars panel at Comic Con, which I thought was a highlight at the time. They screened the first episode before the panel, and I was all ready to report back to you all that it was real good and to get excited for the new season, but then Hulu had to go and drop the whole damn series during the CC panel, which was a STUPID thing to do (or, at the very least, an extremely stupid thing to announce to the panel at Comic Con - the exact people who would not be able to watch it until after Comic Con, putting them at risk for some really big fucking spoilers. It’s genuinely surprising to me how little the people who are in charge think about these things. If you want to do a surprise drop (which, why, but whatever), sure, go and do it, but definitely don’t announce it to a room full of people who can’t enjoy it and expect them to be excited??). But regardless. That was just a wtf moment. I was still filled with enthusiasm and excitement and happiness that this show was back and seemed to be in good form. 

Oy. 

Cut to Tuesday morning. I got back from Comic Con on Sunday night, and life goes on, so of course I hadn’t watched 8 hours of TV by Tuesday at 7AM. Which is precisely when my dear friend, whom I adore, but who is apparently an idiot, texted me about how terrible that VM ending was and how upset she was. Now, because I’m a good friend and I know what she likes and we’ve discussed VM at length, it took me all of four seconds to know the gist of what happens in the end. I didn’t know the how or why, but I certainly knew the what. Cue fun spikes of anxiety and random bursts of rage, because what the fuck. Truly, what the fuck. But I placed my certainty at 99% and hopelessly clung to the 1% chance that I was wrong, knowing full well that I wasn’t. This obviously completely stymied any excitement I had for the show, and I dragged my heels for a full month before finally finishing the goddamn show just to get it over with. And now we’re here. 

I’ve had a month to ready myself for what I knew was coming. It was both a blessing and a curse, since while it pretty thoroughly ruined my good time, it also meant that I wasn’t totally blindsided by that ending. And man, I would have been blindsided, because there was Z E R O reason for that. None. And now I’ve read all the articles in which Rob Thomas tries to explain his reasons, and they’re all nonsense. Absolute idiocy. All I see is a guy who always, always resented the fans for loving a character he didn’t want us to, who tried and tried to redirect us to one of his preferred creations without success, and just when I thought he’d finally accepted defeat, he pulls the most nonsensical of fuckery just to finally win the battle. Fuck you, RT, forever and always. I can’t fucking believe that I allowed myself to think you’d finally seen the light. What a ridiculous fool I was for giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

Since I knew what was coming, I could look for the signs all throughout the season. So I searched for foreshadowing, or at least a narrative through-line. And let me tell you: there isn’t one. The season finally, rightfully seems to address Veronica’s deep-set trauma and trust issues but treats them like a problem and not a secret superpower, and it seemed like the show might expect Veronica to grow up along with the viewers who’ve aged 15 years since the first season? I was excited to finally have Veronica be the problem in a relationship, frankly. It was hinted at with Piz, but glossed over because there was only so much time in the movie, but it was realistic for her to have some trouble adjusting to a long-term, committed relationship, and I was excited to see that journey! I thought it was such an interesting path to go down, watching Veronica grapple with what she wants (or maybe just thinks she wants) vs. what she’s always known, or thought she knows. Lots of stuff there! Good stuff! And you get all the way to the end, when she’s finally decided to try. It isn’t fixed, it isn’t perfectly, she’s definitely got a long way to go, but she’s taken a few tentative steps into an uncertain future. And all of a sudden, quite literally, boom. It’s all gone. 

Listen. I was never going to be a fan of getting rid of Logan. However they chose to do it, it would always feel wrong. I have never trusted Rob Thomas to handle Logan well, because he’s always had this undercurrent of anger in every interview I’ve read, this frustration that people love and respond to Logan when he wanted them to love Duncan! Then Piz! Then anyone else! His creations took on a life of their own, and RT hated it. RT was one of the ultimate examples of writers/show runners who were simply watching a completely different show than the rest of us. I could never understand how he wrote such interesting stuff for Logan but didn’t want us to root for him. It never made any sense. But I didn’t think he would sabotage his own show this thoroughly. 

Because here’s the thing: I was never going to like him getting rid of Logan, but I could have understood it. I could have gone along with it if it had been done right. Frankly, the way it was building, it wouldn’t have been a surprise, nor would it even have been a bad choice, to have Logan break up with Veronica at the end of the season. And if RT couldn’t handle Veronica not being the aggressor, fine, make Veronica do it. She decides she isn’t willing to put in the work to change that Logan needs from her, and she ends it. Fine. Could work, at least for a few seasons. Let her deal with the loss, knowing it was something she chose, and see how it affects her priorities as she continues on. Certainly could be interesting! 

You know what isn’t interesting? This. This is the only - the ONLY - plotline that’s a watered down repeat of a previous story. Veronica Mars, traumatized and hardened by the shocking loss of someone close to her? Quite literally, been there, done that. I know RT has been trying to recapture the magic of season one for every season and iteration since, but just repeating the storyline? Really, really missing the mark. There isn’t anything new that can be added to this. We’ve done this. This will only ever be a pale imitation, a tacked-on sequel hitting the same beats with less force. Lilly was a fantastic inciting incident that yielded a tight, well-thought-out season arc. But why would we want to start over 15 years later? What’s to be gained from this? Literally ANY other ending would have yielded multiple storytelling options, branching out with so many possibilities on where the characters could go. This is the only one that simply slams doors shut. 

The few supporters of this ending I’ve seen around the interwebs keep saying things like “this show wouldn’t work if Veronica was happy!” Hell, Rob Thomas is saying the same thing. And to that idiocy, I can only say 1. of course it would, if you write it well, dumbass, and 2. if you think Veronica getting married immediately = happiness, well, what the hell show were you watching? The marriage, much as it could represent a step forward, was still VERY CLEARLY a huge, impulsive jump that was more a reaction than a measured decision. And that was something I was looking forward to seeing. Fresh off of a near-death experience and a renewed assurance of her love for Logan, Veronica marries him thinking that’s the end of their troubles, only to realize that it’s just another complication. Now Veronica has to deal with the new experience of having no quick exit strategy. All the problems they had throughout the season still exist, thinly covered by the veil of newlywed bliss, and she has to reconcile her happiness with her frustration and uncertainty. Logan still disappears at the drop of a hat because of his job. She still puts herself in danger for the case and uses loved ones and acquaintances alike to her full advantage. They hide things from each other. They love fiercely, they trust the other with their own lives but can’t trust each other to take care of themselves. Doesn’t this sound like a complicated, tumultuous relationship full of narrative possibilities? 

Well, forget it, because why break new ground when you could retread old storylines? Yeah, that’s what we all want. Great job, RT. So smart. 

Something that keeps bothering me is that if RT didn’t want Logan around as the happy husband at home but didn’t want to write more relationship drama between them? He already had the perfect excuse to ship Logan off for entire seasons at a time. Look, Logan’s deployed, oh no, he can’t even skype, he’s undercover! Cool, problem solved. No more Logan, but in a way that still maintains possibilities for the future should we want them. Ideal. Again, options. All you want are places for your narrative to go. Multiple roads it could take so it doesn’t become predictable. 

This is predictable. This is boring. This is trite. Our heroes, struck down in their highest moment of happiness. Holy fuck, it’s dull. It doesn’t feel edgy. It feels derivative, a tired rehash of a narrative structure that should have gone out of vogue ten years ago. The whole thing just exhausts me at this point. 

And I’ve read Rob Thomas’s justification for why he did it. They’re all flimsy, but if he wants to go do a Sherlock-style, Ms. Marple mystery series, flitting in and out as he pleases, fine. It won’t be the worst show in the world. Veronica’s still a fun and interesting character, and I’ll always enjoy watching her. But removing her from Neptune, and more importantly, removing her from all of her meaningful relationships, takes away what made this show special. The new version RT is pitching could be fun enough. But it’ll still be just one in a long, long line of mystery shows that don’t have much claim to my emotional investment. I might watch, but I’ll forget about it the second it’s over. It certainly won’t be the kind of show with a fanbase that will still be interested in watching more 15 years from now. Rob Thomas won’t be getting one of those again. 

So yeah, that’s that. I have much more to say, but really I just wanted to get this rant out so I can put it all behind me. I learned long ago that I can’t trust shows and showrunners, and it’s a lesson I learned partly, if significantly, from Rob Thomas. I suppose it’s on me for letting my guard down, but I guess my hope got grandfathered in from an age when I didn’t immediately mistrust the things that were supposed to make me happy. I’ll know better next time. 

JS Compilation post

Another day, another compilation post dedicated to one of the irrelevant women in Chris’s life. Seriously anons, if you want this to become a thing, maybe we should discuss women that actually matter to him like his mom or Octavia Spencer. We would love discussing those! 

These are old asks, so some questions might have already been answered (like the book chapters). All the asks can be found below. 

So now that Jenny has gotten her own post on this blog, I feel like you anons have given her more attention than Chris ever has. Let’s focus back on him and the beautiful Dodger content he blessed us with today. At least we know he treats him like a good boy. 

Red & Ginger

Notice Chris never says anything bad about his ex’s. If the chapter was about him it must of been a punch in the gut. Bet he’s never read the book. 

*****************

Fans disliked JS not because of her book but because she cheated on her husband just to be with Chris. She tweeted horrible things, she deleted those but some blogs still have screenshots just google it. She was trolling Chris fans all the time while they was "dating". In my personal opinion she's a horrible woman. She pretends to be a feminist but she's far far far away from real feminist. 

*****************

In my opinion, JS seems like she is very high maintenance and her mind runs a million miles a minute that would be too overwhelming for me to deal with. And I’m only basing this off of the interviews I seen with her.

*****************

She always refers to Dean (her ex husband) as her husband in the book. She always makes sure to make that distinction between husband and boyfriend. It's obvious that she's talking about Chris. She also mentions Dodger without naming him. Just read between the lines. If you were there for the Chris/Jenny saga since the beginning, it's not very difficult to decipher.

*****************

He eats gross, I mean the man admitted he can not cook really well? Or is there another meaning behind that? 🧐

*****************

"I am tired of sinking down to a lower place to be with men. I am tired of throwing a tarp over some of my personality so that the shape of my identity suits some gross man a little better,for whatever shitty things he needs to do in order to keep his boring identity erect & supreme. I am tired of buying my own flowers. I am tired of having to hold my breath through Val’s Day the way you do when you drive past a graveyard" Sounds like karma to me Maybe stop blaming & take it as her own fault too

*****************

JS comments “What’s the same about us is not just that we’re from Massachusetts, which was such a delight, but Chris is truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, to the point where sometimes I would look at him & it would kind of break my heart. He’s really vulnerable, & he’s really straightforward. He’s like primary colors. He has beautiful, big, strong emotions, and he’s really sure of them. It’s just wonderful to be around. His heart is probably golden-colored, if you could paint it.”

*****************

Sorry to bother you again but do you or anyone else know what chapter/s to look for so I don’t read the whole thing?

*****************

The podcast jenny slate talked about slapping chris on was anna ferris’ podcast. It still up, just search for it in podcasts. He was on it too, he was laughing about it. Idk about timing but they were claiming to just friends at the time but i think they may have started hooking up by then.

*****************

Tbh I can't imagine Chris' lifestyle is that unhealthy. I mean, c'mon he looks so damn fine. I think he and especially his body and his skin would show some signs.

*****************

You know when it comes to Hollywood celebrities relationship money bring them attention then they talk about relationship good or bad or even the ugly they don’t care they just want attention and shit And I always hated that cause relationship is supposed to be private that’s why Chris said he wants to be private with his love life

*****************

Unfortunately, celebrity gossip sells even when it comes from the horse's mouth. You take JS talking about CE that’s going to get more eyes simply because CE has such a high profile. It not right, and like you said, it should stay between them. She wanted to sell her book, so who knows how much is true maybe none of it, perhaps all of it, or somewhere in between.

*****************

Thank you for correcting me I got confused but I knew it was before lobby hero started they broke up

*****************

“ The apartment hunting was fake news same as Chris searching for a ring to propose to Jenny. They broke up in early January.” I don’t think the apartment hunting was fake. The way it was framed may have been but she probably did tag along with him while he looked for somewhere to stay while he did Lobby Hero.

*****************

“ Yes. It seemed very odd since CE and JS were both in Atlanta at the time & Chris didn’t have time off then.” Chris was able to fly out to her comedy shows when he was filming so they could have flown to look at apartments in his free time. It’s not that far fetched. I don’t think they were moving in together but this was around the time Lobby Hero was announced so he was probably looking for somewhere to stay since rehearsals for that began right after he wrapped Endgame.

*****************

Anon JS, in her book, said CE eating habits are gross, and he smokes.

*****************

I though JS said she did like his beard in the comedy show?!? That info is not mentioned in her book

*****************

Ewww i nearly threw up that ask about his eating habits why would she ever say something like that 😷

*****************

I think she was like... He dumped me for good, he's not in love, don't want me back at all, so let's be mean in this book

*****************

Aww, man, if that anon story was real, I really, really feel bad for the guy. All the comedy shows I watched, I've never really seen spouses/SOs being the brunt of the joke. Everyone knows who her bf is, everyone knows who the joke is about. Not too nice.

*****************

Did JS bad-mouthed CE?? I have come across certain fans who claim she has but I never got the whole story!

*****************

I wonder if he read that book and even not reading how he must have felt knowing how she described / exposed him that way.

*****************

Was that other anon agreeing with me because I never said someone should change for anybody else, I said the same thing she CHOSE to change for him but it’s all on her (if it was agreeing then ignore this and yes the burn book was very juvenile to do)

Seasons of Love

Summary: A sequel to @romanismyprince‘s beautiful fic Summer Romances are Bullshit. Please read that fic first for context, it is 650 words and essential for context to this story. 

Pairings: Past romantic Prinxiety, Analogical, and Moxiety. Pre-Romantic LAMP.

Warnings: Some crying, talk of breakups, let me know if I need to add anything! 

Word Count: 4,164. This uh...got away from me a bit XD

Read on AO3 here!

My Fanfic Masterlist

Like what I do? Consider supporting me on ko-fi!

Patton should have been happy. He was sitting in a picture perfect outdoor café with a mouthwatering french pastry and perfect cup of coffee in front of him, the sunshine warm against his skin. All around him, the sounds and smells of the city filled the air, twisting together in a beautiful harmony that promised magic for the daring soul who dared to reach out and take it.

Summer in Paris, it was more beautiful than Patton could have imagined.

And yet, as he sat staring off into the distance, his food untouched before him, all he could think about was Virgil. Virgil, who would have looked beautiful under the Parisian sun, his purple hair catching the light just so. Virgil, who would have loved the chocolate treats lining the patisserie’s windows (despite the edgy image he tried to maintain, Patton knew the man had an incurable sweet tooth). Virgil, who Patton had wanted to invite along on this trip of a lifetime.

Virgil, who had left.

Patton hadn’t understood why. Things had been going great, or so he thought. It had only been a few months of dating, but Patton was happier than he’d ever been. Virgil was stunning, in every possible way, and Patton was completely enamored with him. Though Virgil himself didn’t seem to understand how incredible he was. Patton had made it his mission to show him.

He must have failed though, because Virgil had pushed him away, a pain in his eyes that he wouldn’t name as he insisted that this was for the best, no matter how much Patton pleaded with him to stay.

“Please, Virgil! Was it something I did wrong?” he remembers asking, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“No, Pat,” Virgil had said, his tone deadpan, resigned. “You were perfect. And that’s the problem.”

Then he’d left, leaving Patton to pick up the broken pieces of his heart alone.

“Excusez-moi monsieur?” a voice broke through Patton’s thoughts, and he looked up to see a rather attractive man wearing a tie and glasses looking at him with a concerned expression on his face. “Est-ce que tu vas bien?“ the man continued, and Patton winced.

“Um...Je ne....parle pas français...bien,” he stammered out apologetically. He gestured to himself, then said, “Je viens...America.”

“Oh, I see,” the man said, switching flawlessly to english. “While what you actually just said is “I am coming America,” I understand your intent. I also am an American.  What I had said was ‘Excuse me, sir, are you alright?’”

“Oh...” Patton smiled. “Well thanks for asking, kiddo, but I’m doing just fine!”

“Are you sure?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow at Patton. “You were crying.”

Patton put a hand to his face, startled to find tears beneath his fingertips. He blushed.

“Oh...I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize for one’s emotions,” the man said kindly. “May I...join you?”

Patton shrugged and nodded, and the man pulled a chair up and sat down.

“Do you...wish to talk about what is troubling you?” the man asked, and Patton sighed.

“You...you’ll think I’m silly,” Patton said with a shaky laugh. “It’s just...my boyfriend broke up with me...just a couple of weeks ago...and I just really miss him.” Patton sniffled, and the man nodded sympathetically.

“I do not think that’s silly at all,” he said quietly. “I had to leave behind my own boyfriend when I moved here to study...I have missed him greatly, so I believe I understand how you feel.”

Patton shot the stranger a grateful smile, but found tears pooling in his eyes again as his thoughts once again fell on Virgil.

“I...I wanted him to come with me,” he admitted quietly, embarrassed at the crack in his voice, but the other man simply laid a hand over his, gently encouraging him to continue. “On this trip. I had it all planned out, the tickets bought and everything. I was going to surprise him after a date to the park...a picnic at the place we met.” He sniffled, and wiped a few tears away. “But he broke up with me before I could even ask.”

“I’m sorry,” the man murmured, stroking his thumb over the back of Patton’s hand. “That must have hurt terribly.”

Patton could only nod.

“If...if it’s not to bold of me to ask...why did he leave you?” The man winced, then quickly added, “of course, it’s none of my business, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too personal-”

“No, it’s alright,” Patton reassured him, offering a small smile. “I...I don’t know why, actually. That...I think is part of why it hurts so much. I asked him if it was...” Patton took a shaky breath. “If it was something I did, but all Virgil would say is that I had been perfect.”

Tears pooled in his eyes again, and he screwed his eyes shut.

“If I was perfect, then why did he leave?”

The man froze, and Patton cursed himself inwardly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overshare, I just–”

“Virgil?” the man repeated, as though he hadn’t heard Patton.

“I...yeah, Virgil. My...my ex,” Patton said, frowning at the strange look on his companion’s face. “Is something wrong?”

The man shook his head, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

“I am simply...surprised. Virgil is not that common of a first name in the english language, and yet that is also the name of my ex. The odds of us both having an ex with that name are extremely slim, and yet here we are. It is quite remarkable...are you alright?”

It was Patton’s turn to stare now, as he took in the man, really took him in. The analytical yet gentle nature, the cool demeanor, the fact that he had left his boyfriend in order to study abroad...

“What...what did you say your name was?” Patton asked.

“I...it’s Logan. Logan Abbot.” Logan gave Patton a quizzical look.

“So...the odds of us both having an ex with the same first name are pretty slim?” Patton asked, and Logan nodded. “Okay...so what would the odds be that we have an ex with the same last name too?”

Logan stared.

“Are you saying–”

“Your ex isn’t Virgil Shae by any chance, is he?” Patton asked.

“I...how did you...”

“You’re Logan,” Patton said, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re Logan, you’re the guy Virgil dated last winter who got to study abroad in France for your masters program.”

“He...he told you about me?” Logan’s voice was small, surprised, and Patton nodded.

“We got a little tipsy one night and started talking about exes. I told him about my old boyfriend Dylan, and he told me about you...he said that he hated that you had to leave but that he was so proud of you.”

“I wanted to try long distance,” Logan said quietly. “But he insisted that it would distract me, and that he couldn’t stand the idea of holding me back.”

“That’s Virgil, alright,” Patton said, a fond smile slipping onto his face. “He said the same thing about Roman.”

Logan’s eyes widened.

“Roman?” he repeated, leaning forward.

“Yeah, before he dated you, Virgil told me he dated an actor named Roman Crown. Said he was wonderful, but he got a role in a movie overseas and had to leave...what are you looking at me like that for?”

Logan let out a strange laugh, reaching up and rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.

“I knew Virgil had dated an actor, but I didn’t realize...I had no idea...”

“What?” Patton pressed, and Logan leaned back in his chair.

“Roman Crown’s movie was filmed here, in Paris. Our paths crossed at an english poetry reading near my university...he performed a stunning reading of  poem he’d written called “My Fallen Angel,” and afterwards I complimented him on his work.”

Realization sparked in Logan’s eyes, and he groaned.

"Oh my god, that poem was about Virgil, wasn’t it? He even said, it was about someone he’d had to leave behind but still loved dearly...I assumed an ex, of course, but I never thought...”

Logan coughed, and suddenly his expression turned sheepish.

“We became friends after that night, although recently...I believe he has been dropping hints that he would like to be something more...in fact, I was supposed to meet him here today for coffee.” he shook his head, staring at Patton in bewilderment. “And then I meet you here as well. Amazing.”

"You can say that again,” said a new voice.

Patton looked up and locked eyes with a tall, handsome man wearing a white jacket over a red shirt. 

“Roman!” Logan exclaimed, his face turning a rather adorable shade of pink, and Patton had a sudden, inescapable thought flood his mind. 

Oh my god, I’m so gay.

He didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on that though, because Roman was still talking. 

“So, I’m not one to eavesdrop normally, but I was coming over to find you, Lo, and see who your friend here was, and I didn’t catch everything, but I definitely heard the name Virgil.” He looked back and forth between the two men, a question in his eyes. “Mind explaining what’s going on?” 

So, they told him. 

Patton introduced himself and took turns with Logan explaining that they both had dated Virgil, the same Virgil that Roman himself had dated all those months ago. 

“So wait, the poems that I wrote, the ones you said were what initially drew you to me...” Roman started, staring at Logan in disbelief. 

“Yes, it would seem that you were writing about a man that we both had loved before,” Logan said simply. 

“I...I might still love him,” Roman said quietly. “I...don’t think I ever stopped loving him, not really. When I was offered this role...Virgil was the one who told me to take it. I was hesitant, because it meant moving away from everything I knew, away from him, but he knew this was my dream, and he insisted I pursue it.” 

“I...must confess, I feel the same,” Logan murmured. “He was incredibly supportive of my decision to come here for my studies...so much so that he declined my offers of attempting to continue our relationship long distance. He said something to the effect of ‘I don’t want to be the reason you don’t succeed.’”

“He...said that to me, too,” Roman added. “He said ‘I won’t be the reason you don’t make it big, Princey. You’re taking the role.’” 

“Oh...” Patton whispered, and Roman and Logan turned to him. “I think I understand now.” 

“What do you mean, Patton?” Logan asked, and Patton took a shaky breath. 

“I didn’t understand before why Virgil left me...when I asked him if I’d done something wrong all he said was ‘You were perfect. And that’s the problem.' I didn’t understand that before, but I do now.” Patton looked up at the others, a sad smile on his face. “Virgil loved you. Both of you. So much so that he was willing to give you up when he thought that was what was best. He didn’t want to hold you back...” 

Roman made a soft ‘oh’ sound as Logan’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“He left me because he thought he held me back,” Patton finished, tears welling up in his eyes again. “He didn’t though, he didn’t. I loved him.” He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears, and vaguely he registered Logan taking his hand again, Roman murmuring gentle words of reassurance in his ear as he rubbed his back, but none of that seemed to matter right then. 

“I love him,” he whispered again, and Logan’s grip tightened. 

“We know, Patton,” Roman said, his voice soft and comforting. “We know.”

--- --- ---

Virgil hadn’t left his apartment in a long time. His groceries were delivery, he could work on commissions from his living room, and there were no friends who would miss him if he shut himself away, so what was the point of doing anything else? 

It was summer, after all, the season that he despised the most. The air was hot and sticky, and wherever he looked was another giggly, smiling couple, another reminder of how alone he was. Virgil couldn’t wait for the cooler air and colorful leaves that fall would bring...though the new memories that would come with it, those he could do without. 

Virgil sighed, and put his head in his hands, his drawing tablet forgotten on the table next to him. Did he have to go and ruin every season by being a stupid sap and falling in love? He couldn’t think of bonfires now without hearing Roman singing along to a Disney film, couldn’t picture snowfall without the taste of chocolate, coffee, and the smell of paper and ink that followed Logan wherever he went, couldn’t imagine new flowers in bloom without seeing the twinkle in Patton’s eye or the bubbles popping at the top of his champagne glass. 

All that was left to him was summer, stupid, sweaty, overhyped summer. He supposed it was what he deserved, for letting himself fall so easily. 

Well. 

It wasn’t a mistake he would be making again, that was for sure. 

Virgil picked up his stylus again and tried to focus on his work, but he was finding it difficult to concentrate. After about forty-five minutes of not getting anywhere, he decided to call it quits. Maybe inspiration would come back to him later. He’d just deposited himself on the couch and turned on the TV when a knock sounded through his apartment.

Virgil gave the offending front door a skeptical look. 

Nobody ever came to visit him, not anymore, so who would be knocking at his door? He really didn’t want to deal with someone trying to sell him health insurance or something right now. But when a soft, gentle, oh so achingly familiar voice called out “Virgil? Are you in there, kiddo?” he knew it wasn’t just a salesman. 

He thought about not answering, he really did, but then Patton called out again, “Virgil, please?” and he found himself walking over to the door despite his better judgement. He’d never quite been able to resist Patton. 

But opening the door and seeing the two men on either side of Patton, he realized that Patton wasn’t the only thing he had to worry about. 

"R-ro?” he asked, taking a step back in surprise. “Logan?”

“Hey, Emo Knightmare,” Roman said quietly, and Virgil winced at the old pet name. 

“Wh- what are you guys doing here?” Virgil asked, his eyes flitting back and forth between his three ex-boyfriends.

“Virgil, I believe the four of us need to talk,” Logan said. “May we come in?” 

“I, I...” Virgil’s heart was beating faster now, and he was finding it difficult to catch his breath. What on earth would make all three of them come to see him? How did they even know each other!? 

“Virgil, you’re not in trouble,” Patton soothed, reaching towards him but stopping just shy of touching him. “All we want is for you to hear what we have to say. After that, you can kick us out if you want, but first...please just listen to us?”  

Virgil looked into Patton’s wide, pleading eyes, then stole a glance at Roman’s hopeful face and Logan’s hands fidgeting with his tie. 

“Okay,” he said, doing his best to sound nonchalant. From the raise of Logan’s eyebrow and the quirk of Roman’s lips, he knew he hadn’t succeeded, but he tried not to focus on those little looks, on how familiar they were as he let the three of them in and closed the door behind him. 

“So...” he shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets and looked over at them, careful not to make eye contact with anyone. “What’s going on?”

“Virgil,” Logan began, taking a deep breath. “The three of us are here today because, as you know, each of us have dated you for part of this past year.” 

“Think he knows that, Specs,” Roman muttered, and Patton swatted at Roman’s arm, making a shushing sound. Virgil arched an eyebrow at the easy familiarity between the three of them, but kept silent as Logan rolled his eyes at Roman before continuing. 

“While each of us only dated you for a short period of time when compared to the lifespan of an adult, we all deeply treasure the time that we spent with you, and were very sorry to see it end.” 

“Not only that,” Roman picked up where Logan left off, his eyes glowing with affection, “but we’ve really missed you, Virgil. Being in the movie was an absolutely incredible experience, and I’m so glad I was able to do it, but...God, Virgil, I missed you every day. I thought about trying to contact you sometimes, but...I never could quite muster up the courage to do it.” 

Virgil blinked in surprise at the thought of Roman not having the courage to do something, but before he had time to dwell on that thought, Logan was speaking again. 

“Similarly, I found myself unable to keep my thoughts off of you while pursuing my studies. I wondered many times if I had made the right choice in leaving you, in not pushing harder for a long distance relationship. I too considered contacting you many times to attempt to regain some of what we’d lost, but since it was at your insistence that we broke things off cleanly, I did not wish to do anything to make you unhappy.” 

Virgil stared at Logan, shocked by the confession. He’d always assumed that Logan was offering to go long distance out of courtesy, and he hadn’t wanted to make things hard on Logan by putting him through that, so he’d said they should end things altogether. 

“I...” he started, but before he could summon anymore words, Patton was speaking. 

“When...when you left me, Virgil, I didn’t understand.” His voice was small, layered with hurt, and Virgil cursed himself internally for being the one to cause that hurt. But this was why he’d had to leave, wasn’t it? So that Patton wouldn’t be hurt even worse because of him...

“But then, I went to Paris,” Patton continued, and confusion replaced the guilt in Virgil’s mind. “I...had wanted you to come, actually. Had the tickets and everything. But you broke it off, and...well, I thought maybe if I still took the trip, I’d be able to clear my head a bit.” Patton smiled at Roman and Logan, and there was a tender look in his eyes that Virgil realized with a start that he recognized as fondness.

“Turns out, I was right.” 

“The three of us met there,” Logan continued, and Virgil’s eyes grew wide. “In fact, Roman and I met several months ago, not long after I moved to Paris. But the two of us met Patton in a café, and got to talking. We quickly realized that the three of us had one very big thing in common.” Logan gave Virgil a pointed look, and Virgil grimaced. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, since he wasn’t sure what else to say. 

“Oh, no honey...” Patton murmured as Logan responded,

“On the contrary, I am exceedingly grateful that the three of us met under the given circumstances.” 

“Besides the fact that Patton was in a state of heartbreak, of course,” Roman added, and Logan planted his face into his palm as Virgil winced. 

“Of course, my apologies, Patton, I didn’t mean to imply that I am glad you were in distress–”

“It’s okay, Logan,” Patton said, ever understanding, ever forgiving. “I’m glad we met like that too. Because meeting there, it helped us all to realize something.” Patton smiled over at Virgil, his eyes soft. “Do you know what that is, kiddo?” 

Virgil could only shake his head, then suddenly, Roman was at his side, taking his hand and stroking his thumb over Virgil’s knuckles.

“I realized that I still love you, mi amor,” he whispered, and Virgil barely had time to make a half choked noise of surprise before Logan was taking his other hand. 

"I also still love you, Virgil,” he said softly, and Virgil swallowed. 

Roman’s grip was hot and full of fire and soul while Logan’s was cool and grounding, and having one on either side was making his head spin and his stomach churn, but even as he tried to interpret the conflicting sensations, he found that it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. The two balanced each other somehow, and Virgil definitely didn’t hate the end result. 

But then Patton was standing right in front of him, reaching up towards Virgil’s face. He moved slowly, giving Virgil time to move or say no, but Virgil let him, and Patton’s hand cupped the side of Virgil’s face, his eyes shining with unshed tears. 

“I love you, Virgil. So, so much.” 

“P-pat...”

“Of course, it was initially a bit awkward realizing that we all felt this way about the same person,” Logan continued, then he reached over and placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “But we soon came to another realization.”

Roman smiled, and reached over Patton’s other shoulder to cover Logan’s hand, bringing the four of them together in a strange sort of mix between an embrace and holding hands. 

“Logan and I were already developing feelings for each other in France, and after spending the rest of Patton’s vacation with him...well, it was hard not to fall for the little puffball as well.” 

“So what we came to ask you is...” Patton paused, glancing between Roman and Logan briefly who each nodded at him before all three of them turned their attention back to Virgil. “...Would you like to try again? With all three of us?”

Virgil was stunned, but as he looked at the three of them that shock gave way to something else. He imagined reading poetry by the light of a bonfire, drinking champagne while snow fell outside, singing Disney princess songs in the park while flowers bloomed. He saw the way Logan looked into Patton’s eyes, the way Patton leaned into Roman’s touch, the way Roman squeezed Logan’s hand. The three of them fit so well together, and then there was him, the one on the outside, the one who always ruined everything. 

“It’s okay if you say no,” Logan interrupted his thoughts, nerves clear in his voice. “We respect that it is your decision. However, it would be very–” 

“You...you’re sure you want me?” Virgil asked, his voice small and thin but oh so hopeful. 

“Oh, Virgil,” Patton whispered, the tears falling from his eyes. 

“Of course we want you,” Logan murmured to Virgil’s right, squeezing his hand. 

“More than anything,” Patton added, and Roman nodded from Virgil’s other side. 

“That is...if you’ll have us, mi amor?”

Virgil looked around at the three men he’d fallen in love with, who he knew he’d never really stopped loving at all, and felt something in his heart swell. 

“Yeah...” he whispered, and he smiled at the way that Patton’s face lit up. “I’d...really like that.”

Patton surged forward and pressed their lips together, and Virgil let go of Roman and Logan’s hands to cup Patton’s face. It had only been a few weeks, but god he’d missed the taste of Patton’s lips, like birthday cake and honey and the promise of home. 

The kiss was over far too soon for his liking, but as soon as Patton pulled away, Logan was in his place, leaning forward, and Virgil let himself fall into the familiar rhythm of kissing him. Logan still smelled like paper and ink and his breath tasted like coffee and cool peppermint, and Virgil could almost imagine frost on the window panes. 

Then, Logan was stepping back, and Virgil was face to face with Roman, the first one he’d fallen for, the one he’d never stopped missing, no matter how much he had adored the others as well. Roman looked almost shy, and this time it was Virgil who made the first move, reaching forward and pulling Roman to him. Roman was wearing his vanilla chapstick, and as his strong arms snaked around Virgil’s waist, Virgil felt like he could cry. When Roman drew away, Virgil whined and pulled him close again, this time burying his face in Roman’s chest and wrapping his arms around his middle. 

Two more sets of arms encircled the pair, and this, right here, the four of them intertwined together, this was absolutely perfect. 

Fall was bonfires and apple cider and Disney marathons. 

Winter was poetry books and hot chocolate and cuddling under piles of blankets. 

Spring was walks in the park and flower crowns and late night conversations that sometimes turned into debates. 

And Summer...

Summer was four different sounds of laughter, arguing over who got to hold whose hand, falling asleep under the stars in a messy tangle of limbs, and feeling unconditionally, irrevocably loved. 

Maybe Summer wasn’t so bad after all. 

--- --- ---

AN: This started as an impulse after reading @romanismyprince​‘s fic and thinking “Ok but what if it was LAMP” and turned into this 4,000 word beast, so thank you for sticking with it! Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist, and check out my Fanfic Masterlist for more of my work! If you like what I do, please consider throwing me a tip on ko-fi! Love you guys! -Taylor<3

Sanders Sides Taglist: @lizethemotherlycat​,  @coffeestudylive​ , @rosepheniox, @sugarblob0​ , @logically-asexual​ , @sir-sanders​ , @migraine-marathon​ , @sirkawaiipotato​ , @princeyssash​ , @queensephonereaper​ ,  @idontevenfreakingknow22​ , @tree4life25​ , @spacevirgil​, @virgiltheanxious​, @thekinglovesyou, @thebaagelboy​, @failureofaesthetics, @msu82​, @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2​ , @alexthechaotic​, @thesleepyraziel​, @bobolovesoze​,  @littlemiracle05​, @pattson​, @pastel-patton123, @nerd-in-space​, @thesides​,  @stay-in--place​, @ravenclawunicorn1​, @at-least-seven-pretty-potatoes​, @michealawithana​, @anotherfandomtrasher​ @fandomsofrandom​,  @a-deliciouslyfadingcollection​, @nightmarejasmine​, @xxfoxit​, @quoth-the-sparrow​, @katatles-the-fish​, @misty-the-mysterious​, @alyssadashrub​, @punkassplonker​, @noctisvalex​, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom​, @funsizedgremlin​, @vigilantvirgil​, @nonamefightergirl​, @thomasbemyfriend​, @mockingjaysinger​, @milomeepit​, @justabookworm39​, @shortandfantastic​, @thesilentbluesparrow​, @royallyanxious​, @mirror2thespirit​, @coffee-stains-paper-and-ink​, @silverrhayn​, @mooksie01​, @backatthebein​, @nye275​, @gdonly, @anastasialestina​, @callboxkat​, @a-lexicon-of-words​, @dramatic-and-young​, @emeraldfoxface​, @mytrashlifeistrash​, @theclassifiedjackass, @peachie-keeen​, @llamaly​, @witch19​, @the-darkness-art, @heythereprincey​, @bring-it-on-perra​, @nienna14​, @bubblycricket​, @thomasfandersunite​, @slightlyobssesive​, @miathefangirlwriter​, @logicallyanxious​, @apologetically-anxious​, @keys117​, @digitally-analog​, @emily-klaine, @am-i-heaven-or-am-i-hell, @thnksfrthpinof​, @alix-the-skeleton, @strangegaycandy, @ocotopushugs​, @warping-reality​, @thisandthat22255​, @grey-lysander​, @your-username-is-unavailable​, @hikariyukino​, @theresneverenoughfandoms​, @virgil-sandersss​, @violetmcl​, @thatfandomfollower​, @nothingelsemattersme​, @crushingonahorn, @cdragontogacotar​, @narniasfinestavengingsociopath​, @absentmindedproff​, @im-bi-myself​, @fantasyandfairfolk​, @virgilsblogofanxietys​, @your-average-outcast​, @sanderstalker​, @allaboutthemsides, @galaxy-warping​, @queen-of-all-things-snuggly​ @a-little-bit-of-ace​, @faithfreedom-art​ @therealhmmlingle​ @xxladystarlightxx​, @morgan-the-art-girl​, @stormcrawler75​ @wowitsmyblog​, @romanssippycup​, @lunalikesgamesandstuff​, @lamp-calm-sanders​, @musikasworld​ @cyberpunkjinx​, @mauvelavender​ @samathekittycat​ @black-out-wonder​ @xxfluffycloudxx​ @i-read-by-lamp​ @ravenclawicecream​ @nashiraneko​ @lucifer-in-my-head​ @ladyartemisia28​ @awesome-and-unique-username​ @zoalis​ @entpscarleharrrr​ @raygelkitty​ @zeldahadasword​ @gubbalupagus​ @musicphanpie-b​ @virgilssweaterpaws​, @faacethefacts​ @a-simple-fryingpan​ @pinkeasteregg​ @punknerdmusings​ @imantisocialgetoverit​ @dontburnurmoriartea @adventurousplatypus​ @anuninspiredpoet​ @thechildofartemis, @awkward-avocado-of-death​, @poison-lyra​ @modcarbz​, @thisrandomperson102​,  @skydiamcnds​ @just-another-starfish​, @thepoolofthedead​, @thatonelampwrap, @justmyshitandmoreshit @thequeensqueer, @littlespacefin, @theinvisiblespoon​, @charithecherry​ @dreamsshadowwashere​, @broadwaytheanimatedseries​,  @bitten1ce​,  @madly-handsome​, @a-small-gathering-of-mangos @cats-with-blogs​, @iirobynhoodii, @itsvirgil​ @damienswifeolicitydallysgirl​ @fanderrawr​, @roman-ciful, @starjames-pma​ @crownswriter123​ @stars-sunsets-and-oliver​, @akiraaria​, @thilb0burrit0​, @dragonangel-funandfire​, @painterman-bobross​ @galaxymindedindividual​,  @sassy-in-glasses​, @vergeangst​, @iaminmultiplefandoms​,  @thedundundunnnsong​, @podcastsandcoffee​, @bosmeri-alyd​ @anyay666​,  @celinethotwrong​,  @poorlittleanxiousbaby​, @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah​ @chaloopa12​ @lastbeginning​ @readeatfightlove13​, @girlwthanxiety4ever​ @entpscarleharrrr​ @jani-bunny54​ @logically-emotional​ @i-am-asha​ @punsterterry​ @fluidityandgiggles​ @sopi-montezzz @gatlily​ @stupidfangirl107​ @axahi-bitxh​ @sharkkittem​ @thesocialbookwormishere​ @amuthefunperson​ @lunareclipse-524​ @purplesoul-at-hogwarts​ @asymmetricalgarbage8888​ @basically-trash5​ @maxiswriting​  @generalfandomfabulousness​ @bluebloodstains​ @savage-fox-cacti​  @iridescentglassflowers​ @skitari​ @evethefirework @kick-the-aj @immortaldystopia​ @satanblessi​ @lilcutekittykat @iloveeverytjing123​ @the-average-loner​ @therealpeterpan​  @fight-or-flight-reflexes​ @lesbianturtle​ @theunoriginaldaisy​ @riley-castillo @para-keat​ @today-only-happens-once​ @03-30-am​  @angsty-adorable @why-only-have-one-fandom @analogical-mess @twilight-trix @silverjay520 @purpleandblacknightmares @anxious-fander-bean 

@jimprotectionsquad, @the-asexual-reaper, @splatoon-jim, @simon-seppa, @kinkiestcoconutaround, @nyxwordsmith, @hannahisnottalented,  @thefamouszombiebouquet, @karszym1, @jordandobbertin,  @la-fandom-freak, @freepaperie081, @tormentist, @mollycassmith, @pleaseletthisjimbetaken,  @littleteenblog, @of-chaos-and-flame, @monstermemories, @simplelittlestar, @sander-fander, @jenni-with-an-i, @superawesomeamazingname, @randomcrystals, @the-gilbird,  @alextheodd,  @desolate-darlin,  @sanspie122,  @alwaysmy-lilith, @look-its-meme, @sigma-time-lord, @toreen-m, @samthekoalabear98,  @thewinterunicorn,  @miss-meg1710, @221biotchplease,  @itsjustkota, @justanotherproblem, @redone0-0dreamer,  @mltcp, @jiiiimmmm-with-dyed-hair,  @jse-fandom-protection-squad, @edible-napkin, @helpmeimjim,  @markiderp, @slim-jims, @didsomeonesayprince, @kittyboof8,  @spottybob, @fanofyoutubeandmore, @sanderslays,  

Why many Misha fans want haters and non fans to kill themselves.

I was scratching my head for awhile wondering why Misha's fans behave the way they do.  Now I think I might be starting to get a partial clue about that.  He is like a cult leader, because unlike Jensen and Jared who just want to be known for the work that they get paid to do, Misha has more time on his hands and uses it to constantly stay in contact with his fans so that their attention is never diverted from him.   I found a Psychology Today article that made me smirk.  The article is written in the context of a dangerous cult leader but Misha is not that.  He doesn't use aggression.  He uses sympathy.  He puts him in victim mode so that his fans will feel the need to protect him.  Remember that mockumentary that made his fans feel sorry for him?

He has also put himself in the position of an authority figure who has an opinion about charity, the LGBT, slash fiction, feminism and politics amongst other things.  He rarely speaks about the canon aspects of his character and the canon of Supernatural.  And yet he was a director.  His sub group of fans, especially destiel fans, would not have gotten any attention from him, had he been a normal, agenda free individual.  Because he does something as unusual as giving slash fans attention, they latch onto him because they are not going to get that attention elsewhere.  Hellers and minions identify with Misha because he presumably cut himself on the thigh as a ''fat'' child.  I have seen some of his childhood pictures.  He was not fat.  Quite a cutie actually.  Cutters will therefore identify with him even though, he has told many lies about his childhood. 

These are some of the traits that Psychology Today listed.  I had to remove some that fit a dangerous cult leader more than the sympathy junkie that Misha is.  There are some that don't have additional information in bold, because although they feel like Misha traits, I don't have a pinpoint example.  Or there are too many examples.  If you wish to contribute to the updating of this list, please let me know. 

He has a grandiose idea of who he is and what he can achieve. [He refers to himself as an Overlord]

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or brilliance. [Used Gish to break Guinness World records] 

Demands blind unquestioned obedience. [calls his fans minions.  A minion are a servile or unimportant follower or underling of a powerful person] 

Requires excessive admiration from followers and outsiders. [Expected fiction authors to write stories about him for free]

Has a sense of entitlement - expecting to be treated special at all times. [wanted to be in the TVGuide graphic despite having no right to be on it]

Is arrogant and haughty in his behavior or attitude.

Has an exaggerated sense of power (entitlement) that allows him to bend rules and break laws. [wants NASA to do Gish related things for him in outerspace.  Admitted to stealing passes from the White house]

Takes sexual advantage of members of his sect or cult. [pandering destiel, and asking Gish participants to do half naked challenges despite knowing that there might be underage participants]

Is hypersensitive to how he is seen or perceived by others. [During the Giving Back Tour, a con headed by him only and not J2, he pitched up only on the Sunday, the way that the leads do for their cons, perhaps to be percieved as a lead himself.  They have a valid reason.  They are working till the last minute.  He had no reason to not be present from Friday evening.  He wants to be like J2.  That con flopped. - thanks for reader inputs because I didn't know this.] 

Publicly devalues others as being inferior, incapable, or not worthy. [calls destiel shippers perverts]

Makes members confess their sins or faults publicly subjecting them to ridicule or humiliation while revealing exploitable weaknesses of the penitent. [pointed out the lap dancer, while she was asking a question and showed the butt plug for no reason even though he could have reported the lapdancer and refused the butt plug]

Has ignored the needs of others, including: biological, physical, emotional, and financial needs. [no support for J2 during the Nolacon scandal, or for Jared during various heller attacks, but spoke up for Danneel because it secures heller sexual fantasies - I have an inkling that HatersOfDanneel might be minions which is why he stopped them, to show her how supportive he is.  Who knows, maybe he set up to do this, so he could rescue her.]

Is frequently boastful of accomplishments. [the receipts can fill a book]

Needs to be the center of attention and does things to distract others to insure that he or she is being noticed by arriving late, using exotic clothing, overdramatic speech, or by making theatrical entrances. [like the chair gag at Comic Con which garnered sympathy from fans, and constantly drawing lewd attention to himself during panels where he is with others.  He didn't like sharing a panel with Sebastian Roche, because Sebastian can out-crass him, and is obligated to sit through a Jared panel because Jared can also be provocative if he so wishes, but enjoys being in a panel with the sexually restrained Jensen, perhaps because it puts him in a powerful position.  And he seldom just steps on stage.  He must say or do something first:  like an accent or something similar.  Once he wore a severely torn T shirt under his jacket and made sure he showed everyone on stage.  The man cant afford a T shirt?]

Doesn’t seem to listen well to needs of others, communication is usually one-way in the form of dictates. [called Jensen a motherf*cker, for speaking unfavorably about his scenes with Cas being decreased] 

Haughtiness, grandiosity, and the need to be controlling is part of his personality. [constantly waving rules set by the CW and CE, for example telling people about the ''I love you'' line, even though he was told not to.  He doesn't follow the rules that others are humble enough to follow.]

Behaves as though people are objects to be used, manipulated or exploited for personal gain. [asked Dean and Cas cosplayers to make out for his leery pleasure]

When criticized, he tends to lash out not just with anger but with rage. [there is a gif somewhere of him telling a critical con guest:  I don't appreciate your tone when she told him he was queer baiting.] [Edit: A wonderful fan sent me the pictures - Thanks]

Anyone who criticizes or questions him, is called an “enemy''. [calls non-minions haters]

Acts imperious at times, not wishing to know what others think or desire. [smashed a Boba Fett cake in Jared's face, without notifying him that the cake was from a fan and was painstakingly made for Jared's birthday.  The cake was inedible after that, and Jared profusely apologized to the fan.  How hurt she must have been.  Misha took the cake on stage, when he had no business to - Edit: thanks to an awesome reader for this input.  I forgot about it, even though it had ticked me off when I learned the truth] 

Is superficially charming.  [Sometimes he cant even muster up a smile at his photo op, unless it is a Cockles one.  He cant even pretend to like his fans]

Habitually puts down others as inferior and only he is superior.  [again minion and pervert.  Jokes that Jensen and Jared got their jobs on the basis of their looks.]

Has a certain coldness or aloofness about him that makes others worry about who this person really is and or whether they really know him. [when he hugged JDM, fans in the background cheered, and Misha looked at them, shook his head in a fed up, irritated manner before focusing at JDM]

Is deeply offended when there are perceived signs of boredom, being ignored or of being slighted.  [told off a fan who said she wasn't supposed to be attending his panel.  She was supposed to be asleep.  She was called because her name ended up on the question line up.  He was so angry, he didn't let her speak.  That transcript is difficult to read.]

Treats others with contempt and arrogance.

Is constantly assessing for those who are a threat or those who revere him.  [SPN Anti-Bullying Twitter is the most communist thing I have ever seen.  It only seeks out Misha critics and does away with them.  Its like communism, fandom style.  Misha is in close contact with Emily Cleghorn who runs this page and participates in Gishwhes.]

The word “I” dominates his conversations. He is oblivious to how often he references himself. [With Misha it might be the opposite.  He tries to project a kicked puppy personality.  Watch his body language carefully]

Hates to be embarrassed or fail publicly - when he does he acts out with rage.  [Just drink your effen water and get off the stage - could be a joke, or could be something else.  Its was said to Jensen who laughed about it, but you never know how he perceived this outburst.]

Doesn’t seem to feel guilty for anything he has done wrong nor does he apologize for his actions.  [Didn't apologize for slavery or roofie joke]

Believes he possesses the answers and solutions to world problems.  [Gishwhes is more about his ego, wasting food and stripping down to nothing, for his enjoyment more than anything else.  But he thinks it will solve problems.  Other than creating a spectacle, and reaching the attention of Larry King, it doesn't seem to do any good because what good could the Record breaking largest number of people dressed as French maids do to better the world.  And he waste food, whilst taking part in a marathon to end child hunger.  He doesn't realize how hypocritical that is]

Believes himself to be a deity or a chosen representative of a deity. [Haha, I don't know if bragging about being accused of being the anti-Christ counts, because what decent person brags about that.  Just added it here, as a laugh.]

Rigid, unbending, or insensitive describes how this person thinks.  [Made Jensen tell the story, during their Jib panel, that made Jensen break down earlier - bashed the Bible]

Tries to control others in what they do, read, view, or think. 

Seems to be highly dependent of tribute and adoration and will often fish for compliments.  [wanted fiction writers to write a story about him for free - this is worth a second mention because of how arrogant it is]

Uses enforcers or sycophants to insure compliance from members or believers.  [Has journalists in media outlets like Geekiary, Hypable and possibly others doing his bidding, including attacking the leads on social media, for saying something contradictory to what Misha is saying.  Natalie Fisher of Hypable is more notable for doing this.]

Sees self as “unstoppable” perhaps has even said so.  [With regards to Misha, he might say it about Random Acts or Gish because he want to project being 'humble'.]

Conceals background or family which would disclose how plain or ordinary he is.  [Lied about being poor to garner sympathy - lied about only receiving elite education, because he has never been to public school, and says he lived on his friend, Darius's handouts, including meals, which makes me wonder how trust worthy Misha's friend is. Because don't elite private schools provide meals and uniforms - lied about being mugged]

A gazillion thank yous to my awesome friend, whom I will now refer to as Sam the researcher, because this is the second obscure piece of evidence that she found for me.  I have been looking for it, for too long, fruitlessly.  Also thanks for the second and third ones. 

@iamacynic seems to think non-Misha fans were born without the faculty of thinking.  So this person accused me of being non-empathetic to the fact that Misha was poor and living in a tent.  Do you think nobody knows that?  When Misha first told the story of being poor and having a druggie for a mother, he got a lot of sympathy, which is why over the years, the story has become more and more elaborate.  The Overlord had found his niche.  Misha was poor from birth till age 3.  Mom married a guy who was loaded and who took over responsibility of Misha and his brother.  From 4 till now, Misha has been a rich man.  The elite private schools Misha attended cost more than $50 000 per annum.  Misha attended Greenfield Centre and then Northfield Mount Herman.  He has never attended a public school.  And Misha doesn't remember any of that?  All he remembers is the first 3 years of his life?  Realistically, person will only remember a smidgen of the third year of his life.  Unless someone out there remember age one.  Raise your hands.  Tell us about your extraordinary memory. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/spycatcher/201208/dangerous-cult-leaders

so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts. 

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

@skystonedclouds replied (a lot) to this post:

Well I’m female... So you’re off to a bad start. There also multiple Talmuds. The old one is different. I was referring to the Babylonian Talmud (written after Jesus). Not the old Talmud written long ago.

We do “follow” the Talmud (when Jews say Talmud, they’re referring to the Babylonian Talmud/Talmud Bavli). Jews who believe the Torah to be divinely inspired also believe the Talmud to be divinely inspired. The Talmud explains the Torah. It’s not “basically just random people making up guides for the heck of it.” 

You need to stop learning about Judaism from white and Christian supremacists and separatists. All Jewish people read the Babylonian Talmud, so I guess we’re all Satanic Christ killers who want to cover up how we killed Jesus.

And they were both finalized after Jesus; they both contain teachings that JESUS IS LITERALLY QUOTED IN YOUR BIBLE AS SAYING. The Mishnah is part of both Talmuds. Jesus was teaching the Mishnah (only one version! Same ole Mishnah in both! Although neither covers the entire Mishnah because, you know, Romans wouldn’t let us practice our culture!). Both of them are the recordings of debates amongst rabbis over Torah since, oh, around 550 BCE if not earlier. 

The Talmud Yerushalmi/Jerusalem Talmud (you know it was “the old Talmud written long ago”) was finalized in the 4th century (because Theodosius II decided that Jews couldn’t learn Judaism anymore). Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s after the crucifixion.

As an aside, do you know why the Talmuds exist? The Temple had been destroyed (again), the Jews were expelled (again), and the rabbis knew they had to change Judaism because centering it on the Temple and in Judea/Samaria/Jerusalem was now impossible. The rabbis had to write down all of their discussions and teachings. All of them, both the normative and non-normative opinions. So, even you saying that Jews follow the “old” Talmud shows you don’t really understand what the Talmud is. We study the Talmud (which is made up of the Mishnah and the Gemara) to understand the Torah because we can't just go ask one of the rabbis roaming around Jerusalem any more. A diaspora in 2018 is different than a small, concentrated tribal group in 1st century Judea. You’d start to write shit down too if you realized you no longer had one central place to argue, study, and teach because it had been razed to the ground. 

The reason there are two is that after the destruction of the Temple and the exile of Jews from Jerusalem, the two remaining academic centers of Judaism were Mesopotamia (Talmud Bavli/Babylonian Talmud) and Syria Palaestina (Talmud Yerushalmi/Jerusalem Talmud/Palestinian Talmud). (As an aside, the Talmud Yerushalmi doesn't have the Gemara because Theodosius II decided that Jews couldn’t learn Judaism anymore. It ends rather abruptly.)

The God of the Torah the one true God who had a son. He died for me to take my place so I do not have to die. He is merciful 💖🙏 amazing grace and love for sure 💕Psalm 145:2 Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever. Yes the God of the Torah who broke a son to die in my place. I may live now ever praising the one true God 💖🙏 Psalm 145:2 Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever.

Do you not know any other tehillim or...?

The G!D of the Torah is indivisible and cannot become incarnate. Explain how Jesus works with that fundamental definition.

I think it’s a Christian responsibility to protect Jewish people and their nation. I don’t agree with you in rejecting the messiah. It doesn’t mean Israel is not chosen. I’m so glad my great aunt protected Jewish people from Holocaust. A lot of the Christians I talk to want to protect Israel. I know Israel is under a of attack. Let us unite in that we both love God of the Torah. I was made aware maybe I don’t understand Jewish culture (I’m not sure). I like that day ”the feast of trumpets”.

We’re not children; you don’t have to protect us like we are. And anyway, what precisely are you protecting us from? Those who would not allow us to be Jewish and practice our culture and religion? Let me know who precisely the Christians are protecting us from if not from you them.

What, precisely do you like about “that day ‘the feast of the trumpets’”? The connection to the resurrection? The idea that the second coming will occur with a trumpet? Because I hate to break it to you, that’s all Evangelical Protestant nonsense shoehorning Jesus symbolism where it doesn’t make sense. Do you know what we actually do on Rosh Hashana?

You said it was the Catholics. They are not filled with the Holy Spirit.

Oh. You’re one of those Protestants. Soteriological exclusivity is quite the drug.

It’s actually pretty tragic. The Catholics did a lot of bad things even to your family 💔. They sinned against your family.

Sure. Just the Catholics. Protestants never did anything sinful against Jews. Nice emoji use. It’s not at all contemptuous.

Not gatekeeping just seeing a pattern. Whenever I use christian apologetics on the flaws of other religions people cry for my execution (metaphorically). To Muslims I’m islamophobic if I find flaws in the Quran. To the Jewish people I’m antisemetic if i find flaws in the Babylonian Talmud which they don’t even use. Apparently finding flaws in a belief system makes people think I must not like them. Meanwhile Christians never yell Christianphobia when the religion is examined find potential flaws

Maybe it’s because you’re cherry-picking passages, taking them out of context, and outright misquoting them. 

It’s news to me, an actual Jew, that we don’t use the Babylonian Talmud. Where’d you get that pearl of wisdom? When Jews talk of the Talmud, we’re talking about the Babylonian Talmud. 

But hey that’s comes with the contract of following a leader who was crucified. He was crucified for finding flaws in the Pharisees who taught well but were kinda hypocritical (didn’t do the commands themselves).

Again I say: Cool antisemitism bro. Modern Jews are Pharisees. If you don’t want to be called an antisemite, don’t be antisemitic. 

One person did want tell me to die so yeah the ill wishes only came from one side. I always knew I’d be crucified one day. I welcome to share in the death of the saviour🙏✝️

People pointing out to you that you’re misquoting their exegetical texts isn’t being crucified. That’s an amazing level of hubris.

Also the crucifixion of Christ is s historical fact and biblical core truths. You just admitted someone believing the bible is offensive.

Nope, @rose-in-a-fisted-glove said “... Did you seriously just try to claim to not be antisemitic while crying deicide in literally the next breath? That's just, wow.“

The Romans killed Jesus the same way they killed all other political criminals. Crucifixion was the Roman punishment for political crimes/crimes against the state. You claimed Jesus was crucified because the Pharisees (again, modern Jews are Pharisees) were upset he “found flaws” in them. That’s... do you know HOW MANY Jews found fault with the teachings of other Jews during the 1st CE in Judea? In the first centuries of the common era the main sects of Judaism were the Pharisees, Essenes, and Sadducees. They all argued with themselves and each other. Jesus, I’m sorry, wasn’t unique in that.

Like you mean Nazis tried to find flaws in Judaism too ? They didn’t stop there though they wanted to dehumanized people. I’m just doing apologetics. I’m mentioning how there was a cover up over the crucifixion of Christ. I even mentioned that the text has other outrageous claims. It ties back to the point that it’s unreliable and not many follow it. Now I can assume this might be a point of insecurity. Do you think only Nazis see flaws? Everyone can see a flaw in beliefs.

Nazis didn’t try to find flaws in Judaism; Nazis believed (and continue to believe) that Jews are racially inferior and impure. Do you really think the Holocaust was due to theological differences? 

I still really want to know who taught you that Jews don’t “follow” the Babylonian Talmud. You should ask for your money back.

Of course Nazis will point our flaws. I one time crashed my friends course on genocide. I know the warning signs of genocide. It’s dehumanization. It’s silencing. It’s treating as second class.

Oh. One time. Cool. Well, then you’re a bonafide expert on dehumanization and genocide. So much so that you seem to believe that the Nazis dehumanized Jews by finding “flaws in Judaism” and not, you know, phrenology and racial pseudo-science. 

I took Astronomy 101 in college; I guess that makes me Neil deGrasse Tyson.

There’s a difference between criticism and debating and being a nazi who wants to dehumanize. In seminars people debate flaws of beliefs. In apologetic posts people mention flaws they see from their perspective. So if people can mention flaws in beliefs no one gets anywhere. Why do muslims day I’m islamophobic when I point out dangerous passages about killing jewish people ? I say ”Woah there Muslim this passage says to kill jewish people! You think that’s cool ?!”. They say ”Islamophobic !”.

And you’re doing neither. And again, they’re probably calling you Islamophobic because you’re taking the passages in isolation and out of context.

Okay if some are made up lemme know which ones. But I know at least the ones about Christ are true. I can understand maybe it could be exaggerated in translation or maybe some invented. I don’t need false flaws or anything since that’s just a waste of time. And if something was made up just by Nazis I’m sorry about that part that would be made up.

What are “false flaws”?

We actually don’t know definitively if they’re about your Jesus or not. Yehoshua (of which Yeshu is a derivation) was and is an incredibly common Jewish name. Different scholars have different ideas of what and to whom those passages refer.

But assuming they (Sanhedrin 43a, Sotah 47a, Shabbat 104b, Gittin 57a) are all about Jesus? The historical context of these passages (which make up an unusually small part of the totality Talmud)? 

“By the time the Talmud was coming into final form, Christianity was the dominant religion of the Mediterranean world and beyond. Negative expressions in such writings reflect negative experiences in the time of their creation. Quoting such texts without explaining these contextual influences can grossly distort one’s understanding of how Jewish tradition views Jesus.” - Jesus in Rabbinic Tradition, Burton L. Visotzky from Amy-Jill Levine’s The Jewish Annotated New Testament.

Christians were legislatively prohibiting Jews from practicing our religion or, you know, killing us with impunity. That’s the context of those passages, not abject, irrelevant Jesus hate. And on top of that, you quoted them incorrectly. 

In Jewish tradition (from the Satanic Talmud) “he” and servant in Isaiah 34:11 refers to Israel the people. You know, the Jewish people in total. Not Jesus.

This is the graphic you used in this post. It literally says “Become Jew-Wise and learn more at www.national-liberation.org” 

For all your talk that “Jew” is the n-word for Jewish people (it’s not), you use a graphic that says that? And that “Killing and Enslaving Whites is OK”? That didn’t scream Nazi to you?

Well Catholics aren’t Christian (they believe works salvation). I’ll let that pass for now. Christians are oppressed. Statistics show Christians are the most persecuted religion in the world stated by huffington post. We are being killed India by Hindus, in Turk ube Muslims, in North Korea. 6000+ Christians were killed in Nigeria this year alone. 1/12 Christians are persecuted violently stated by daily mail. Independent uk states the estimate is that 11 Christians die every hour of every day.

Catholics are Christian. The Protestant Reformation didn’t de-Christianize them. Sorry. 

Are you a Christian in any of those countries? You seem to be an American Protestant Christian living in the United States. You are not oppressed. 

You also don’t know anything about Judaism and should stop pretending you do.

I'm doing it again. I'm watching the most recent Riverdale episode.

I don't know why I hate myself so much but I made a joke to my friend I would do this so I'm back again for 6x02 of Riverdale

- why is Jughead talking like that and referring to the viewers as 'Kiddies'

- is Cain and Abel an ancient story?? I just know it as a Christian so therefore from CE...

- what is this Romeo and Juliet now?? Is I just a game of how many references we can make instead of finding an actually thought

- how many years has it been since they graduated cause the Ghoulies were the gang made by Cheryl and Toni in high school right?? Jugheads making it seem like this is a generations old feud and not like 5 years of stupidity

- we love her giving it her all still in acting despite being in quite literally the most chaotic disaster show

- are Reggie and Veronica a thing?!?!

- what is this music choice and who was that girl??

- where was the draft coming from though cause the window was closed??

- are they cheering to Archie because his stolen heart was like a sacrifice for the maple gods or whatever shit sustains the maple Grove?? All i know is that Cheryl took his heart so i assume

- Good to know Cheryl's still a bitch... 'boy child' pretentious fuck and that Juniper and Dagwood still get treated like shit by everyone

- oh she does give a fuck when they're about to be killed by an 'evil water nymph'

- I love that Jughead heard about the murder-suicide and just glossed over it like that's totally normal and didn't bother to mention it to his girlfriend at all

- he really is the school jock bully that'll never let go of the past, still wearing the letterman jacket

- okay when he's explaining the story can neither think critically and be like that's us and understand that supernatural shit keeps happening so it might be something to do with that and that the apartment is a bad place to stay

- is there no police force anymore?? Why are the FBI taking care of a simple open and shut murder case??

- you live in Riverdale you most certainly could put 'Spirit of Vengenance' on the report and you would have minimal questions and was Betty also not listening to Cheryl about the same thing almost happening to Juniper??

- critical thinking babes could you do it for two seconds...

- yeah for an attempt at open communication but also you never stated you were uncomfortable or 'triggered' before your students showed up and started cheering which you can be totally uncomfortable with with no previous 'trauma' around making out in a car

- he's more protective of his car that his girlfriend's comfort levels

- Good to see Pops still alive!!

- can I have more information on how someone dies in an accident with a deep fryer - I feel like that would be more interesting than whatever the plot is at this point

- 'something very bad is happening in rivervale' 1. Something bad is always happening, this isn't new info. 2. Rivervale?? What the fuck is this the alternate reality/upside down versions name??

- does Jughead have a massive tattoo on his chest?? Also mood when I'm meant to be doing one thing but get distracted and learn a different completely useless skill

- la llorona really said I gave free abortions in this terrible American economy

- how long has that pizza been in the fridge I feel like it should probably be thrown out by now

- oh really, please don't tell me they're going to add to his abuse at home with abuse from a teacher - just let him have some character development

- no but they really had to go and hire the creepiest looking man to be the doctor didn't they?? Like the only thought that's coming to my head is Dr. Frankenstien but also like wasn't he a coroner?? I don't think he's qualified to be doing somograms or pediatrician work

- perfect timing La Llorona

- jumping to conclusions there 'Roni but smashing the car was a bit of a leap like bro it's a car just taking back to the shop to be resold again instead of wasting a bunch of money

- that sounds abusive tho - 'only me and you AS IT SHOULD BE' no it shouldn't be. Bro what?? Let him have a life outside of you

- you know that wild situation 'where a ghost is going after your baby so you have to get your ex to channel the spirit so you can find a way to make it leave' what the fuck is this show anymore

- reggie's dad died that afternoon and you've already finalised the arrangements for his funeral??

- rivervale had a hospital at some point?? But also that doesn't make sense it was far enough in time that they had a hospital and nurses but not too far that they understood disease spread and was not the result of witches?? Like she's naming diseases so clearly they did understand but just blamed a random nurse because she couldn't cure something that the doctors also couldn't cure??

- Cheryl was straight up gonna let her grandma die and didn't give a fuck all that mattered was keeping in contact with the spirit like dude - you clearly dislike you're niece and nephew interacting with you but would just let you're only other family member that cared about you die

- critical thinking because the story most definitely about you two.

- thank you for finally realising that yes you were falling into the roles

- has she just been sat at her son's grave this entire time that La Llorona's been wondering around

- I love that Toni thinks that calling out Anthony is going to make the actual baby call out to her like he would actually respond

- they're seriously just taking plot points from other horror shows to try and keep the vibe they originally went for but never got - Toni giving herself up to take the place of a lake spirit to save child is just giving me Bly Manor flashbacks

- but it's not nearly as horror inducing because at least Vanessa gets to stop reading the tomfoolery in the riverdale scripts every week

- I love that she told Betty to protect him instead of like give him to Fangs, his father

- why are they trying to do a series of unfortunate events still narration it just doesn't work with the way the entire show has been run beforehand to suddenly change the style

It's finished and I don't know what thoughts to have like the fuck was that... I'm probably gonna watch the episode where Sabrina joins after watching the final episode of Sabrina just to see how it ended from where I stopped watching jn the middle of season 2.

DR1 character rankings

I got bored and kept seeing @halfpastmonsoon do these and decided fuck it I’ll do it myself. It’s my blog right like?

Anyway uh in case someone gets super irate about it these are just my opinions and you’re allowed to like characters I don’t like for whatever reasons you want? You’re also allowed to hate characters I like! But isn’t an invitation for you to fight me just because I have different opinions, yeah? Okay! Under the cut!

1. Kirigi//ri Kyou//ko: she’s my god damn wife what do you want from me. I’m really gay did you see her in DR3--OKAY NO FOR REAL. Kiri is so good holy shit she’s like morally complex because she’ll do anything for the truth, even throw you under the bus just to make sure she can still live to find it. She’ll get mad at you for keeping secrets and yet she’ll keep like 8000 from you and except you to roll with it. My point is Kiri has flaws, but more importantly, she has like an arc where she learns from them? Like with the secrets she realizes she was being unfair, and when she throws you under the bus it’s when it clicks just how she was gonna KILL Naegi just tomake sure she could keep operating as herself. She realizes her mistakes, and she comes clean on all her secrets and apologizes. She’s got a lot going on. And I love her so so so much.

2. Oo//gami Saku//ra: too good for this fucking sinful earth. okay. No, but seriously I think she’s amazing simply because of her arc. She betrays them all in a moment of weakness, because she fears for her dojo, and over the course of getting attached to them realizes she can’t throw them all under the bus like that either. So she resolves herself and finds the strength to fight Monokuma, and suffer alone as consequence to her actions. But even that’s not enough. It’s not enough to just accept you’ve sinned and take your punishment, you have to do something, and she does. Through her own strength and love for the classmates around her she kills herself just to end their fighting. It stopped being about her, and just...grijgoirjgoirjgowe okay I love her. 

3. As//ahi//na A//oi: throwback to when the consequences of trying to get everyone killed mattered even a little! I love her a whole lot! She’s super bubbly and excitable and tries quite a bit, but the thing I like the most is how she’s is pretty much exclusively run by her emotions. ch4 plays out the way it does because she gets so caught up in her guilt instead of thinking it through more she decides they all must die for their sins. It’s only when she’s forced to think about the ‘suicide note’ that she recieves she realizes she fucked it up, and then apologizes. Her apology is glossed over a little too fast if we’re being honest, but it’s there, and we see everyone reason their way into forgiving her. Listen I just like ch4 a lot and she’s a big reason as to why.  

4. Eno//shima Jun//ko: throwback to when DR villains were actually good and compelling. Girl makes a fucking entrance and she stands out because she literally can’t decide what she wants to be out of boredom. It becomes so clear just in how she treats herself that the only thing in this WORLD that matters to her is her own entertainment and that to her, entertainment means despair. Boredom is the one true despair, and it can only be satiated by seeing other people suffer at their worst. She embodies despair because suffering is the only thing that can satisfy her own personal despair. She wants everyone to suffer like she does, so she can get off on it. It’s paradoxical and mad, but it’s genuine. Even when she loses, she wins, because now she suffers from the despair of failing. She suffers because things don’t go her way, but things not going her way alleviates her boredom. She goes beyond human comprehension and yet her actions have very real and permanent consequences. And she’s a joy to watch. DR3 never happened to ruin her. Nope.  

5. Fu//kawa To//uko: Man I love Fuka//wa I really do she’s a lot of fun, and it’s just a shame her potential isn’t capitalized until DRAE, but I did enjoy seeing her. The serial killer twist is fun too! I’ll admit I largely like her because of what DRAE does for her, but I think her persecution complex is interesting to see in motion, and that for someone you’d expect to be smart given her talent she’s just kinda a fool. She doesn't actually know what she’s doing at all. I’m mad she doesn’t get her moment in ch6 and it goes to Syo instead I think it’s crap how DR1 ignores her as a character, but given how well she’s used later I think DR1 is basically just her backstory in a lot of regards so ye. 

5.5 Genoc//ider S//yo: lmao she gets ranked less than Fuk//awa only because I like F//ukawa slightly more but they’re pretty much tied otherwise. She’s funny. I’m a little annoyed that she’s the one with the big climactic dialogue in ch6 versus actual Fukawa but whatever man.

6. Fuj//isaki Chihi//ro: y’know I had like several paragraphs here as to why I ranked Fujisa//ki here and then I realized the discourse I’d reopen on the subject is not worth it because Fujis//aki Discourse is eternal and no matter what pronoun I use someone would fight me SO. We’re just not gonna explain why. You’re just gonna have to accept it. I’m not doing Fu//jisaki discourse. If you message me on the subject, I will ignore you. The end. 

7. Na//egi Mako//to: Egg is a super static character if we’re being honest. He makes no change and doesn’t develop, but I think it was actually the point. I pretty much exclusively prefer a character who develops, but egg does his job well because he was meant to be SYMBOLIC of hope. Hope is not something that changes, it simply IS, so having him start optimistic and trusting, and remain optimistic and trusting works because he embodies the concept he represents. It’s kinda boring that it feels like he’s a vehicle to view the plot, but he works, and he’s a little funny at times. Also, I’m gay for Ogata Megumi so there’s that.

8. Ishi//maru Kiyota//ka: Honestly I think Ishi is kinda boring, but I just really like that he got suuuuper invested in Oo//wada only to crash like. I think Kodaka doing that and realizing how bad people took Ishimaru’s later death made him start having actual development arcs based on someone else’s sacrifice which is good. So at the end of the day, I like Ish//imaru if only because of what he inspired. But he’s kind of a cute character, and his “not actually gay we promise” dynamic with Oow//ada was fun. 

9. Hag//akure Yas//uhiro: For comic relief he’s actually kinda funny although I will never never never forgive the man for “Kiri//giri-chi is a ghooooost!!!!” shit in ch5 listen no fuck off fuck you she’s not a ghost. But he’s useless, but it’s kinda funny how useless he is, and I like how his useless stupidity actually plays a role because he makes things even more complicated than they need to be in ch4 because he’s dumb. So there you go. 

10. Ik//usaba Muk//uro: She like has no real character as a result of like not actually existing as herself in the 2 minutes of time she gets before she dies so I don’t know how people stan her, but I think there’s something interesting about her pretending to be someone she’s not the whole time. You see more of that in school mode, but I wish there was more of it in the main story to hint at the reveal than her DEATH. I feel like she’s a lot more interesting in theory than in practice. 

11. Oo//wada Mon//do: I just don’t care about the man what do you want from me. He’s kinda funny though, and “his totally not gay we promise” bromance with Ishi//maru is nice. Also ch2 hurts sufficiently and provides interesting commentary on toxic masculinity. But honestly, I just didn’t really get all too invested in the guy. His design’s cool though.

12. Ma//izono Saya//ka: she’s just really boring guys she’s like not interesting at all, and I don’t appreciate the game forcing her on me just for a plot twist of ‘oooo she dies and was gonna frame you for murder!!!’ There’s like nothing To her, and she’s intentionally played like wife bait so the reveal hurts more but it doesn’t really work when you’re not taking the bait, huh? All that being said I actually kinda like that at the end of the day she ISN’T wife bait and she’s kinda conniving and manipulative, but Kodaka decided we have to preserve her as “ultimately good” with that “dying message means she really does care” thing he hammers in so she’s a little wasted. I’d like her more otherwise. 

13. Yama//da Hi//fumi: He’s creeeeeepppyyyyyy. I’ll give him credit for one thing though and that’s like his creepiness is like reserved towards an AI? Like he’s not like a certain sdr2 character who I won’t mention by name, but like it’s still. It’s not good. Also for comic relief, he’s not very funny. But I also just kinda feel bad for him because his existence is treated as a joke by everyone, even the writers, and that probably explains why he’s written like that, to begin with. 

14. Ce//lestia Ludenb//erg: She’s a bitch? She’s not even a fun bitch she’s just a bitch. I just don’t like her better than thou attitude before her reveal, and her motivations after her reveal in ch3 did nothing to endear me to her. I think the writing behind her though works, which is good. The plot twist is satisfying for that reason. She’s like Ouma jr in regards to the DR Liar archetype, which is great tbh, and she has payoff, I just don’t like her as a person so she’s super far down my list lmao.

15. Toga//mi Byak//uya: listen he’s a douchebag and gets no real character development at all. like in ch4 he decides he’s gonna stop playing the killing game how Monokuma wants, but he still is the same fucking condescending better than thou asshole he started as. His major character flaw ACCORDING TO THE NARRATIVE is that he’s a self-absorbed piece of shit who thinks he's right about everything all the time, and yet even when he gets WRECKED in ch4, he like...stays the same. Instead of thinking “maybe I’m wrong sometimes” the conclusion he reaches is “I’ll stop doing what Monokuma wants” which alright fine but like that’s not the arc we set up for you. So basically Togami from start to finish is just a douchebag with no actual redeeming qualities. I will say one thing. I like him MUCH better outside of DR1, where he seems to have actually developed a little, and he’s kinda funny. Also his backstory is fucked I’ll admit that. But dude I don’t like the man. 

16. Kuwa//ta L//eon: If you’re wondering why Leo//n’s down here at the bottom even if I just professed to hating Toga//mi with my entire being it’s because I very aggressively don’t care about him. He is a non-entity to me. You could erase him from my memory and nothing would change at all. Also he’s ugly.

"Il faut chaud ici, ou bien c'est vous?" 

Hyacinth threw the tissue roll in his direction and they both laughed. He knew she'd laugh. His plan worked and he smiled at the small accomplishment of reducing the tension between them. Placing the tissue roll back in the small veranda table, he walked towards her and placed his arms on the cement railing as well, giving her just the right distance she needed. She has always been sensitive with so-called private bubbles and he didn't forget.

"I always hated it when you speak French in that fake Greek accent of yours." It's a woman language. When they say they hate it, they actually really like it. And he knew she'd say it. It was a beautiful Tuscan landscape, full of sparkling green grapes ready to harvest in a month's time. The clouds were almost hiding in the sky, reflecting the bluest Mediterranean sea, flirting with the purples and oranges of the setting sun. His hectares of vineyard were perfectly lined with moist brown soil. Years ago, he bought the villa for the sole purpose of reminding himself that she always wanted to buy a country home with the same exact view. "You're deep in thought, qual é il problema?" "It's nothing," she tried to smile at him but he understood that it might be too personal to discuss. "I just love it here, like the one I have in Bourdeaux." "So you did buy it, that ancient villa with a winery." "Two years later," she didn't want to say after they visited the place together, then continued, "when the executor of the state also died, the real estate agent called me and I just had to agree with the price. You can't deny it was quite an inheritance. Costa un occhio della testa. And he was like 'C'est ma dernière offre!'," imitating an old man's deep bass voice. She laughed lightly, "It's hard to let the opportunity pass, I might never come across it again." The comical mimicry stunt made him laugh as well. He reminisced the embrassing experience. It was perfect timing when they visited the ancient villa located in the south of France, the executor of estate wasn't aware her late ex-husband bequethed the property to her. Having been divorced for nearly twenty years, she thought he has forgetten about her. They didn't have children of their own, she had been married for nearly fifteen years to her childhood sweetheart in the next town, and she mentioned that they had always been arguing about every little thing. For Hyacinth, it was ineffably romantic. She wanted to buy it there and then, even bargaining with the old woman. C'est trop bon marché un prix pour tous les souvenirs de notre mariage de courte durée mais incroyable dans ces murs, the ex-wife complained. Je ne suis pas d'acheter les souvenirs, je veux que la structure et la terre, she countered. Anthony was laughing his heart out at the scene. In the end, she left her card with the agent instead and begged him to call her once the property's up for sale. He tucked his hands in his pockets, what she said was true and he didn't want to dwell with the reality of it then. Having lost his once in a lifetime chance in a blink of an eye, perhaps he could settle with something lesser than what he originally wanted. So he opted for a change in the subject, "We weren't able to catch up when I saw you at The Raines. It was always hard to compete with your admirers. Raccontami della tua nouva famiglia." Her eyes lit up, "Well, I've adopted two more girls. They're Lucia Henriette and Hyamidalla Irish. Because I thought I could never bear kids of my own. But the heavens gave me Andrei Heinrich. He's nothing like his father. I don't know what I did wrong." He wanted to say, "Deine augen sind wie sterne." However, it was too early for the stars to grace the night sky, especially that there was a storm on its way. What a perfectly wrong timing to build a raincloud, heavens, he thought. But he said, "Boys will always be boys. What is he like?" "Andrei?" Non, l'oumo dei tuai sogni, he debated but then he nodded. "Oh you know, maxed out credit cars, too many girls in his bachelor's pad during friday nights, crying girlfriends who come to me for advice, playing video games the whole day, and basketball leagues," she was shaking her head. Anthony smirked at the description she stated, "That is only to deduce that a rare gem such as you have already been tied down by some really fortunate man. Hopefully, a man who makes better political decisions than Putin." He knew that if there was one thing Hyacinth likes, it's political parallelism. She laughed. "Alexandria told me you got married. What happened though?" "Ah, my ever talkative half sister. Is there anything she won't tell you?" She chuckled heartily. He missed entertaining her like that. When she laughs, he couldn't stop smiling. He never imagined the half sister he had a hard time accepting would introduce him to a goddess. "She wanted me to attend the wedding since I was also in Paris that time. Unfortunately, it's not her call to send the invites. She said it was a very intimate moment." His French-Italian late wife organized such a dreamy and elegant wedding to remember. Pastel pinks and purples filled an atmosphere of a remarkable joyous union. She was the happiest bride, full of energy and hope. The multi-talented singer and composer was loved by her generation, touring around Europe during her teenage and early adult years. Before they got married, she published a book regarding women fighting against cancer. "It was, indeed. It was all her idea, the wedding. She had cancer and we had to move here in Tuscany where she passed away five years later." He remembered how his wife struggled with the disease. He was always at her disposal. There was nothing he wouldn't do to extend her life. Until one day it was just too exhausting for her to fight. She extended her hand and tapped his shoulder, "I'm so sorry. It's just always the good news that I hear from her." "Please don't let my tragedy dampen your mood. Your beautiful mind only deserves the good news." He caressed her hand and mouthed a thank you. They looked at each other for a moment. The only consolation he would want to hear is her successful marriage. He still wanted to make her happy, even when that happiness doesn't include him anymore. "Pray tell life treated you well." She smiled sweetly as an appreciation for his pleasant thoughts, "Thankfully so. Marriage is all about hard work. Sometimes though, he thinks I deserve someone better." And sometimes I feel the same way too, she thought. Where would she find someone better when she already have the best? "You may not know this but a woman of your calibre could leave some men with insecurities to question whether they deserve you or not." He sighed and looked away, "I did." The last two words were almost a whisper, she didn't hear them, "Those are flattering flowery words. Thank you." "I don't do flowery words, Hyacinth. Facts are facts," he smirked. "I suppose you're still the guy who likes precision and accuracy in calculations. How's work lately?" "What can I say? Work is my addiction. And my addiction is my therapy. Once a scientist, always a scientist," he shrugged his shoulders. His work has always fascinated her. But he looked up to her endless salvation of the world endeavors. He loved her mostly for her charity and faith in humanity. "Are you still working in the law firm while managing the family business and The New York Times? You have always been busy but making time for your family seemed to be so effortless." When Andrei Heinrich was given to her as a miracle, she retired from work and embraced motherhood. She passed on the leadership positions to her most trusted colleagues. Coming back to New York City when Andrei was six opened up new doors of opportunity in the academe that she gladly accepted, earning her highly coveted positions as a member of the board of directors of Harvard Law School and The London School of Economics. "Non piú, I've retired and now volunteer for the United Nations. It's been difficult to control the media lately. And donations just wouldn't suffice. I think I've reached the point in my life wherein I need to see the world more. To be the one holding their hand and giving them the help they really need, it's priceless. All the money and success in the world suddenly becomes worthless." "A beauty like yours shouldn't work off camera." He couldn't stop gushing about how beautiful she is. A reason why Hyacinth settled down with someone else: Because she wanted someone to see her past the shell of beauty that will remain unchanged for a very long time. "The family's welfare always comes first. I have no choice. I mean, chie voule vivere per sempre?" He does see her more than just a beauty but he couldn't find the right words and she wanted to hear them. What else was there to prove that you want to spend the rest of your life with one person when the universe doesn't allow you to do so? "Io voglio vivere per sempre," he grinned lopsidedly. With you, he could only reckon.