Hello again! Now that we’ve established I’m still alive, I figured I’d do a quick write-up of the fandom-y things I’ve enjoyed the last couple years. This is not exhaustive at all, but some of my favorite things lately:

Ghosts (UK)! Hands down one of my favorite discoveries of the past few years. Truly exactly up my alley - made by a bunch of proper history nerds (I’ve actually loved Horrible Histories for years even though I am a full-scale adult. It’s just delightful.), and every detail lovingly crafted. They have never set a foot wrong in my eyes. Please do yourselves a favor and watch it. It’s wonderful.

I watched all the damn Marvel shows (at least the original four - I am very behind on marvel now) and I think I did them wrong, because I didn’t love Loki but I actually really liked Hawkeye? Probably cause my expectations were so low, but it was an unexpected charmer. And mostly it’s that Yelena is my everything and she should be the main character in all Marvel properties henceforth, thanks.

Do I really need to rec Bridgerton. Who didn’t watch Bridgerton. But man was that a good time. I seem to be in the minority in that I preferred the first season to the second, but that’s because it was MADE for fandom nerds. I mean, fake dating plot! One of us. Also, dresses: pretty, people: pretty, and orchestral versions of pop songs: the very best thing. I need so many more of those.

My newest, very dear love: Heartstopper! I am still in the throes of it, and feeling very much all the time. It is so lovely! I’m in that tricky space where I need more but don’t really even crave fic for it, because the show itself is perfect. I just want to be able to watch it for the first time all over again. So please watch it and come shriek at me about it, because I am full of emotions with nowhere to put them.

Things I would like to complain about:

Whatever the hell that finale of Killing Eve was doing. What the fuck. Truly why.

And a nice thing:

Cusp has crossed over the 1000 kudos mark! It actually did that a while ago and is now just shy of 1300, which is wild. As always, I am shocked and delighted by the response, and when I am feeling low about my writing it’s very nice to be able to look at my One Successful Story and remember the thrill. So thanks, all, for that little bit of continuing joy.

Um. Hi. So it’s been two and a half years. I’m alive. …how are things?

Guess who’s at jury duty? 😡 Anybody want to entertain me?

Mean Caps

Where did you just go? It’s like you disappear…

via am2dm

Ok, one more thing: if Rob Thomas wanted to win me over to a show that prioritizes the mystery aspect over all other things, he maybe should have nailed the actual case in season 4 much better than he did? The whole Spring Break Bomber arc started out pretty strong and I really did find some of it exciting and suspenseful for the first two thirds of the season, but the whole thing sort of unraveled spectacularly in the last few episodes? It really WAS the pizza guy? They had the dude in custody in episode 7 and it...actually...was him? No good twist, no compelling emotional stake beyond ‘nerdy guy people were mean to gets revenge?’ Like...really? I so badly wanted there to be a clever surprise twist simply because the truth of it was just...bland. And poorly executed at that - I still don’t know how and when Penn killed the decoy dude, plus the idea that there would be so little follow-up investigation/debriefing of a confessed serial killer is preposterous, etc. If the tepid reveal ended up being some sort of commentary on entitled men and their mediocre self-aggrandizing buffoonery, maybe I could get behind that, but then apparently Penn IS an evil genius (literally, according to the voiceover), except that he told Veronica the whole plan and gave her every obvious hint in the world but she had to develop Sudden Onset Stupidity Syndrome in order for him to get away with it, and just...the whole thing was such an underwhelming mess.

So basically, if you’re pitching a show in which the serial narrative is removed in favor of cool self-contained mystery plots...maybe do better than that?

Moon phases. Our Wide, Wide World. 1932.

I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat, what to like, what to hate, what to rage about, what to listen to, what band to like, what to buy tickets for, what to joke about, what not to joke about. I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, and who to love, and how to tell them. I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, because so far I think I’ve been getting it wrong.

Fleabag: Season Two (2019) written by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

You’re my Mariah Carey

@theavidindoorswoman Yes, I so agree! It really felt like we were being punished for our investment. I can’t get over how he specifically had Veronica recommitting to her love for Logan in the penultimate episode (through voiceover, which is how we know she means it), just to do this at the very end. It was all designed to dig the knife in, but he still noped out of the aftermath with that time jump, which made it very clear he wasn’t actually interested in grappling with the fallout of something like this. He just wanted a blank slate for a hardened Veronica to go gallivanting. Which makes it all amount to exactly nothing. We won’t even get an interesting exploration of grief. It’s just off to the next case, because that’s what we were supposed to care about all along. More fool us for getting attached. 

It just doesn’t feel like it’s in good faith. Just Rob Thomas going on interviews telling us why we’re wrong to care about the serial narrative when what we should care about is the mystery and only the mystery, plus how cool Veronica is (no growth or change necessary). Though even still, I’m surprised that he’s pulling away from the Veronica/Keith relationship too, which was the only one I thought was sacred to him. I guess he really does just want to burn the old show to the ground and make a brand new one. 

@avalonia320 Same, Kat, Same. It’s honestly baffling how little these writers seem to understand their shows, or even some very basic principles of storytelling. I’m mad at my friend for spoiling me, but also somewhat glad I got spoiled, because if I’d watched that nonsense without warning I don’t even know what I would have done. 

But yeah, it’s very much this. It’s not that there can’t be an interesting storyline written about Veronica being married but also solving cases - it’s that Rob Thomas didn’t want to write it. He was only interested in traumatized people (he seems to think trauma is what makes Veronica an underdog, which really just points to how insulated and out of touch he is), and he pretended there was no other way forward when he really just didn’t want to put the work in to write an actual new, progressing storyline. Much easier to reboot an old one, eh? So much less effort. 

And as you say, I’m not asking for a happy ending for my ship. Frankly, a forced, unearned happy ending has actually turned me off ships before, or at least lost my interest. Happiness is not the goal for me. Interesting, well-developed stories are. That doesn’t mean I’m against happiness - I think happy couples can actually be more interesting in certain situations, which is why as much as I love will they/won’t they’s, I think they always have a shelf life before it becomes repetitive and frustrating. But give me a bittersweet or even an outright sad ending that’s written beautifully and enriches the characters somehow over a trite happy ending. But if you’re going to do that, I require that you put the work in. I will follow you if you pave the path well, but I’m not going to jump off a cliff with you and call it art. Fuck off. 

So. Let’s talk about Veronica Mars. *deeeeeeeep sigh*

Ok, friends. It’s been a goddamn whirlwind for me. I actually went to the Veronica Mars panel at Comic Con, which I thought was a highlight at the time. They screened the first episode before the panel, and I was all ready to report back to you all that it was real good and to get excited for the new season, but then Hulu had to go and drop the whole damn series during the CC panel, which was a STUPID thing to do (or, at the very least, an extremely stupid thing to announce to the panel at Comic Con - the exact people who would not be able to watch it until after Comic Con, putting them at risk for some really big fucking spoilers. It’s genuinely surprising to me how little the people who are in charge think about these things. If you want to do a surprise drop (which, why, but whatever), sure, go and do it, but definitely don’t announce it to a room full of people who can’t enjoy it and expect them to be excited??). But regardless. That was just a wtf moment. I was still filled with enthusiasm and excitement and happiness that this show was back and seemed to be in good form. 

Oy. 

Cut to Tuesday morning. I got back from Comic Con on Sunday night, and life goes on, so of course I hadn’t watched 8 hours of TV by Tuesday at 7AM. Which is precisely when my dear friend, whom I adore, but who is apparently an idiot, texted me about how terrible that VM ending was and how upset she was. Now, because I’m a good friend and I know what she likes and we’ve discussed VM at length, it took me all of four seconds to know the gist of what happens in the end. I didn’t know the how or why, but I certainly knew the what. Cue fun spikes of anxiety and random bursts of rage, because what the fuck. Truly, what the fuck. But I placed my certainty at 99% and hopelessly clung to the 1% chance that I was wrong, knowing full well that I wasn’t. This obviously completely stymied any excitement I had for the show, and I dragged my heels for a full month before finally finishing the goddamn show just to get it over with. And now we’re here. 

I’ve had a month to ready myself for what I knew was coming. It was both a blessing and a curse, since while it pretty thoroughly ruined my good time, it also meant that I wasn’t totally blindsided by that ending. And man, I would have been blindsided, because there was Z E R O reason for that. None. And now I’ve read all the articles in which Rob Thomas tries to explain his reasons, and they’re all nonsense. Absolute idiocy. All I see is a guy who always, always resented the fans for loving a character he didn’t want us to, who tried and tried to redirect us to one of his preferred creations without success, and just when I thought he’d finally accepted defeat, he pulls the most nonsensical of fuckery just to finally win the battle. Fuck you, RT, forever and always. I can’t fucking believe that I allowed myself to think you’d finally seen the light. What a ridiculous fool I was for giving him the benefit of the doubt. 

Since I knew what was coming, I could look for the signs all throughout the season. So I searched for foreshadowing, or at least a narrative through-line. And let me tell you: there isn’t one. The season finally, rightfully seems to address Veronica’s deep-set trauma and trust issues but treats them like a problem and not a secret superpower, and it seemed like the show might expect Veronica to grow up along with the viewers who’ve aged 15 years since the first season? I was excited to finally have Veronica be the problem in a relationship, frankly. It was hinted at with Piz, but glossed over because there was only so much time in the movie, but it was realistic for her to have some trouble adjusting to a long-term, committed relationship, and I was excited to see that journey! I thought it was such an interesting path to go down, watching Veronica grapple with what she wants (or maybe just thinks she wants) vs. what she’s always known, or thought she knows. Lots of stuff there! Good stuff! And you get all the way to the end, when she’s finally decided to try. It isn’t fixed, it isn’t perfectly, she’s definitely got a long way to go, but she’s taken a few tentative steps into an uncertain future. And all of a sudden, quite literally, boom. It’s all gone. 

Listen. I was never going to be a fan of getting rid of Logan. However they chose to do it, it would always feel wrong. I have never trusted Rob Thomas to handle Logan well, because he’s always had this undercurrent of anger in every interview I’ve read, this frustration that people love and respond to Logan when he wanted them to love Duncan! Then Piz! Then anyone else! His creations took on a life of their own, and RT hated it. RT was one of the ultimate examples of writers/show runners who were simply watching a completely different show than the rest of us. I could never understand how he wrote such interesting stuff for Logan but didn’t want us to root for him. It never made any sense. But I didn’t think he would sabotage his own show this thoroughly. 

Because here’s the thing: I was never going to like him getting rid of Logan, but I could have understood it. I could have gone along with it if it had been done right. Frankly, the way it was building, it wouldn’t have been a surprise, nor would it even have been a bad choice, to have Logan break up with Veronica at the end of the season. And if RT couldn’t handle Veronica not being the aggressor, fine, make Veronica do it. She decides she isn’t willing to put in the work to change that Logan needs from her, and she ends it. Fine. Could work, at least for a few seasons. Let her deal with the loss, knowing it was something she chose, and see how it affects her priorities as she continues on. Certainly could be interesting! 

You know what isn’t interesting? This. This is the only - the ONLY - plotline that’s a watered down repeat of a previous story. Veronica Mars, traumatized and hardened by the shocking loss of someone close to her? Quite literally, been there, done that. I know RT has been trying to recapture the magic of season one for every season and iteration since, but just repeating the storyline? Really, really missing the mark. There isn’t anything new that can be added to this. We’ve done this. This will only ever be a pale imitation, a tacked-on sequel hitting the same beats with less force. Lilly was a fantastic inciting incident that yielded a tight, well-thought-out season arc. But why would we want to start over 15 years later? What’s to be gained from this? Literally ANY other ending would have yielded multiple storytelling options, branching out with so many possibilities on where the characters could go. This is the only one that simply slams doors shut. 

The few supporters of this ending I’ve seen around the interwebs keep saying things like “this show wouldn’t work if Veronica was happy!” Hell, Rob Thomas is saying the same thing. And to that idiocy, I can only say 1. of course it would, if you write it well, dumbass, and 2. if you think Veronica getting married immediately = happiness, well, what the hell show were you watching? The marriage, much as it could represent a step forward, was still VERY CLEARLY a huge, impulsive jump that was more a reaction than a measured decision. And that was something I was looking forward to seeing. Fresh off of a near-death experience and a renewed assurance of her love for Logan, Veronica marries him thinking that’s the end of their troubles, only to realize that it’s just another complication. Now Veronica has to deal with the new experience of having no quick exit strategy. All the problems they had throughout the season still exist, thinly covered by the veil of newlywed bliss, and she has to reconcile her happiness with her frustration and uncertainty. Logan still disappears at the drop of a hat because of his job. She still puts herself in danger for the case and uses loved ones and acquaintances alike to her full advantage. They hide things from each other. They love fiercely, they trust the other with their own lives but can’t trust each other to take care of themselves. Doesn’t this sound like a complicated, tumultuous relationship full of narrative possibilities? 

Well, forget it, because why break new ground when you could retread old storylines? Yeah, that’s what we all want. Great job, RT. So smart. 

Something that keeps bothering me is that if RT didn’t want Logan around as the happy husband at home but didn’t want to write more relationship drama between them? He already had the perfect excuse to ship Logan off for entire seasons at a time. Look, Logan’s deployed, oh no, he can’t even skype, he’s undercover! Cool, problem solved. No more Logan, but in a way that still maintains possibilities for the future should we want them. Ideal. Again, options. All you want are places for your narrative to go. Multiple roads it could take so it doesn’t become predictable. 

This is predictable. This is boring. This is trite. Our heroes, struck down in their highest moment of happiness. Holy fuck, it’s dull. It doesn’t feel edgy. It feels derivative, a tired rehash of a narrative structure that should have gone out of vogue ten years ago. The whole thing just exhausts me at this point. 

And I’ve read Rob Thomas’s justification for why he did it. They’re all flimsy, but if he wants to go do a Sherlock-style, Ms. Marple mystery series, flitting in and out as he pleases, fine. It won’t be the worst show in the world. Veronica’s still a fun and interesting character, and I’ll always enjoy watching her. But removing her from Neptune, and more importantly, removing her from all of her meaningful relationships, takes away what made this show special. The new version RT is pitching could be fun enough. But it’ll still be just one in a long, long line of mystery shows that don’t have much claim to my emotional investment. I might watch, but I’ll forget about it the second it’s over. It certainly won’t be the kind of show with a fanbase that will still be interested in watching more 15 years from now. Rob Thomas won’t be getting one of those again. 

So yeah, that’s that. I have much more to say, but really I just wanted to get this rant out so I can put it all behind me. I learned long ago that I can’t trust shows and showrunners, and it’s a lesson I learned partly, if significantly, from Rob Thomas. I suppose it’s on me for letting my guard down, but I guess my hope got grandfathered in from an age when I didn’t immediately mistrust the things that were supposed to make me happy. I’ll know better next time. 

King David: *plays a regular, non-secret chord*

The Lord:

Rewatching the winter soldier for the bazillionth time and truly, what I love about it, are the “everyday” heroes who tried to do the right thing:

Sam Wilson

Sharon Carter

The guy running and screaming “close the bay doors!”

The air control techs who let Steve, Maria, and Sam in with a simple, yes, sure, please do come in, sir

The guy who wouldn’t launch the helicarriers

The members of the world security council who stood up to Pierce (not if it was your switch)

All the people who were trying to be “the only air support captain Rogers has”

This movie was about every person having the same energy as Steve Rogers; every person can be a hero if they choose to.

This movie is somehow more relevant in 2019 than it was in 2014.