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romanoffsbish · 11 months

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Shelter me From the Storm

Actress!Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Stripped Bare (Part 1) / Two people asked for this and I already had the ideas so boom. 😂

Warnings: Loss of Parent / Grief. Post-Partum Depression (Not mentioned, but heavily implied—hygiene/eating struggles, struggle to bond/help). Media (Implied lack of respect for Sex Work).

18+ | Minors DNI | Please Don’t Report, it’s labeled properly.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Natasha's raspy voice startled you, but it also soothed your aching soul. It'd been exactly two months since the two of you moved to Oregon to officially start your life together. "My mom, us, them."

The redhead nodded solemnly, worried eyes casted down onto your fidgeting hands. She settled down beside you on the porch swing, and took your freezing hands between hers. Gently as ever she kissed, and breathed onto them until she deemed them warm enough.

"You couldn't have worn mittens?" She teased, then her strong arms wrapped around your body so she could pull you into her lap. Her forehead leaned against yours as she tried her best to comfort you. It was you who broke the distance and pressed your lips to hers for a kiss that reminded you that you were really there.

——

You were still alive, even if your mom wasn't. The thought broke you, this idea that Apollo and Luna would grow up without her love.

"I miss her," you sniffled, and the redhead sighed empathetically, "Me too moya lyubov'."

A smile graced your face at the memories of Nat with your mom. They'd only known one another for a little over a year, but your wife stole your mother's heart instantly. The sick woman never missed a chance to talk to her, even if it involved interrupting your convos.

They had a pure love of you in common, so it was easy for them to spend hours talking. It warmed your heart, but also infuriated you to no end when your mom shared your secrets.

Natasha never needed to know about your failed prom, or about how you believed in Santa and his friends until sophomore year.

The redhead loved to tease you about it, even now, "Who else will tell me all your secrets?"

"Thank fuck that's over," you sadly joked, because embarrassing as it was, you'd let your mother release all of your most embarrassing moments in life if it meant she was still here.

"Ooh, What about Cole?"

You snorted, "Not if he wants to stay alive."

"You're no fun."

Silence soon fell over the both of you as you watched the rain harshly pelting down. The pavement, and dirt saturated in no time as mother nature wept, you weren't sure of her reason, but you liked to think it was for your mom. She loved the rain, it never presented as an inconvenience to her like it did for others, you remember chasing the rainbows with her.

Losing her was polarizing really. It was always coming, but you were never prepared for it.

All that really brought you comfort since she passed, was that she met your daughter first.

Luna Romanoff, the little girl with your wife's cheeky smile, and your mothers love for music.

At only ten months old she was a little rockstar. The xylophone was her go to instrument, it made you feel like your mom's name as her middle prophesied their clear connection. They had met, then five hours later your mom died.

Natasha took care of everything after, she still does some days when you can't manage. You usually feel bad, but every time she senses it, and reminds you that there's nothing else she'd rather be doing than caring for her family.

"I'm going to miss you too," you finally broke it, voice cracking as your emotions got the best of you. "I wish you didn't have to leave at all."

"Me neither," Nat replied in the same tone, a tear slipped down her face as she stewed over her departure this evening. Leaving you in such a vulnerable state wasn't easy, but she hadn't a choice as she had to do a slurry of interviews for her upcoming film, as well as clear the air on her sudden disappearance from Hollywood.

It was the only way the execs would let her off the hook for the premiere. The buzz from her interviews will give them enough scandalous PR. Especially when she announces this will be her last film for a long while. The seats will fill.

She'd pleaded for zoom interviews, but even being as big as she was, they wouldn't budge.

"I wouldn't go if I had a choice," she reminded you for the umpteenth time. "I know Natty."

"It just sucks," she voiced your thoughts.

You chuckled humorlessly, "Majorly."

The sudden sound of a cry through the baby monitor brought you and your wife out of your bubble of intermixed grievances, and right into the house where you found a shocked Apollo hovering over Luna's traveling bassinet.

Five minutes ago they were peacefully napping, one in a heap of blankets and toys, while the other was cozy in her bed. It was safest not to move your son, he'd have woken up lively.

Where he lays, he stays—a household motto.

The scene was clear as day, he'd climbed up onto the couch with a devious curiosity, and now it appears the young boy had slapped her.

Natasha swiftly moved to the side of the couch, stopping your son from repeating the offense with a gentle catch of his hand. With ease she scooped the boy onto her hip, then she lovingly reached down to smooth a hand over your daughters face. Her cries stopped instantly.

After your daughter was soothed you watched quietly as Natasha handled your son. Her look was stern, but her eyes were still adoringly soft. There was no true harm done, it was clear Luna was mostly just shocked, not genuinely hurt.

Plus, he's only two, this was like a canon event.

"Apo," she called his attention to her with the nickname derived from his inability to say his. "You have to be gentle," she softly reminded him, using her hand to mimic proper touch as she continued to brush her hand over your daughters face until she was sleeping again.

Apollo butchered the word as he repeated it, but he mimicked her perfectly. Tiny hands covered in god knows what reached out to cup her face, something he'd seen done before. Both of your hearts beamed at the boy for his slow, but steady understanding. This would probably happen again, from both ends, but you knew that it would be an easy resolution.

Natasha's gentle approach to the kids was a surprising discovery you'd made. Not that you expected her to be downright cruel, but you just expected more sternness from your former experiences. But then you remember the Natty that you'd loved was always there back then too, and then it all makes sense. The first time you witnessed it was when your infant son was playing with an extension cord. You wanted to run over and rip it from his hands, but she'd stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

Instead she walked over to him, created some static electricity with her hands then tapped his. It seemed almost cruel, but then she picked him up as he wailed, then that soon faded into hiccups and it all became clearer to you.

He'd wanted her attention all along, and she taught him a valuable lesson in the process.

The gentleness came right after, when she held him close while she hummed a Russian lullaby to soothe him. All the while pointing to the enticing cord and saying a simple, firm no-no.

You remember watching them fondly, with a smile on your face, a hand on your bump, and a subtle sense of relief that'd washed over you.

No matter what came, you knew you'd all be safe with Natasha. Parenting was a learning curve, without your mom to guide you you've lost it, but you felt like she'd had it mastered.

That's why after the night slowly crept in you anticipated the arrival of your little brother. He's flying in from New York, and should be to your house by 8:30pm, and Nat has to be gone by 9pm, or she knows she'll never make it.

Apollo had already gone down for the night, but Luna Bear was still a live wire. Bouncing on her mama's hip while haphazardly shaking her head side to side in a tiring game of 'no-no'

"Wow, you've gotten so big Lunar Eclipse," your brother greeted the giggling baby, who turned to him with a wide, curious smile. Natasha sent him one as well at the relief she felt since she no longer had to shake her head.

"Luna," you corrected with a fixed glare. "I've been meaning to ask you about that sis."

"Cole," you warned through gritted teeth, and for the first time Natasha had realized the help she planned might actually be the bother.

"Why would you name your kids like animals?"

Natasha glared at your brother just the same, coddling the baby into her chest with a hand over her ear to shield her from hearing him

"You're the most annoying person on Earth," you deadpanned, he gasped in offense. "Give me the cat, and say your sappy goodbyes."

Natasha's arms around your waist stopped you from chasing your cackling brother down as he took your giggling daughter into the house.

"Don't leave me with him," you pleaded. "I won't look good in an orange jumpsuit Nat."

Natasha snorted softly, "You're so dramatic." Then she leaned in to kiss you slowly, a bunch of unspoken words being exchanged: 'I'm only a call away,' 'Don't kill your brother, please,' and 'Seriously, call me if you need me,' but the most important of messages came tumbling from your very own parted lips, "I love you."

Natasha smiled against you, she instantly repeated the sentiment, "I love you too Y/N. With all of me. You'll be okay detka. Promise."

The driver honked impatiently, and you fought off the urge to flip them off. Natasha rolled her eyes as she saw the petty conflict behind yours. "I'll be back in three sleeps sweetheart, you take care of yourself while I'm gone please."

Natasha sighed as she saw you bite your lip, a nervous habit of yours she'd become familiar with. You never wanted to disappoint Natasha, but you felt like you always were when you couldn't even manage the mundane tasks.

"It's hard, I know it is," she sympathized with your newfound wave of inability. "But eat, drink water, and sleep whenever possible."

"I'll try," you whisper against her chest as she hugs you close for a final moment. "That's all I ask moya lyubov, you deserve to be nourished."

"Three days," you whispered, your eyes shut tight as you reeled in your emotions. You could break down when she made it onto the road.

"Then there'll be no more leaving, we got this."

"Safe travels Natty." You kissed her cheek, then made the move to slip from her grasp, knowing all too well that she wouldn't willingly let go.

As you entered the house she watched, making her driver more irritated but she didn't care. His paycheck was signed by her, therefore his patience was paid for. She watched closely and nearly broke down when she saw a little Luna crying as her hands slammed into the window.

It was strange, how the ten month old could understand the implications of her mother in the car, and it hurt the woman's aching soul.

Once you locked the door, and scooped your daughter up she told released a breath and told the driver he could take off as she sent off a worried text to Cole, begging him to keep an eye on you like he promised her he would.

Then she sat back and began to count down the milliseconds until she could return to you.

—

The following morning came with a wake up Facetime call, your wife waited until it was 9am your time, then spent hours virtually cuddling. Around 12pm she bid you farewell, as it was 3pm in New York, her interview was for 6pm, but with makeup and wardrobe it was time.

It was live, so at 3pm you'd ensured the babies were already down for a nap, and settled onto the couch in some clean pajamas with your emotional support water bottle, and chips.

Natasha looked beautiful as she crossed the stage, with practiced elegance she flashed her award winning smile, and you swooned. It felt like it was directed at you, and with it being your Natasha you realized it probably was.

They discussed the movie, it was a smooth interview, until the hot topic, you, came up.

"So, tell me Natasha, who's the mystery girl?"

Natasha instantly grimaced, but quickly shook the expression for one of happiness. "My wife."

"Wife, huh?" He chuckled nervously, you both saw a question on his mind designed to send you spiraling. "Fans across the globe really thought you'd end up with Wanda Maximoff."

Natasha breathed harshly through her nose, it took all of her patience to remain composed.

"Wanda is nothing more than a lifelong friend." Natasha cooly replied. "Who's happily engaged, need I remind you, to The Vision Stark."

"Hindsight is 20/20," he jested awkwardly.

"Mhm," Natasha hummed, not even humoring the man with a response as she watched him fumble through his note cards for more. She smiled, it was perceivably smug, and made you feel something you'd yet to in almost a year.

He took a steadying breath before his face relaxed, then he continued his futile attack.

"I have it on good authority that your wife, Y/N Y/L/N." Natasha cut him off, "Romanoff."

"Sorry," he replied annoyedly, "We've been informed that Y/N Romanoff was a stripper."

Natasha nods thoughtfully. "Is there a question there, or are we just stating useless facts. If so, I'd like to inform you your tie is on wrong."

Your eyes widened, in all your years of knowing of Natasha, you'd never seen her so snarky. It was really hot, and you truly couldn't deny it.

"I guess, if it wasn't obvious," he starts shakily, as if he feared the 5'3 redheaded woman. "The world is wondering if that's how you met."

"Well, the honest answer is yes." The audience gasped, she rolled her eyes behind her lids knowing they were likely prompted to do that for shock value alone. "I know right? How shocking that rich people still go to strip clubs."

Her eyes then narrowed onto the nervous host. "As if you yourself aren't a regular Johnny."

"Jimmy," he timidly corrected and she laughed. Boy did she laugh, it was mocking, and had the man sweating through his shirt. "My apologies, so tell me Jimbo, does your wife know what happens during the actual late nights? We both know this show is mislabeled. It ends by 7pm, but your life is only just beginning then right?"

The raven haired man gulped, it was clear Nat was prepared for his intrusive questioning. You caught sight of Natasha's sideways smirk just as the show cut to a commercial, and when it returned your wife was no longer there. Cole snickered from beside you, "Mom would have loved to see this, God, I adore your wife Y/N."

You hummed your agreement, then left him to tend to the crying babies while you answered your wife's phone call. She was panicking, but you reassured her that it'll be okay. That her die hard fans wouldn't leave, and that with the progressive nature of Hollywood that she'd likely receive accolades for her honesty, and her overall support of the sex work industry.

Even if you both knew it wasn't a guarantee, Natasha couldn't help but to believe you. In the end, if this is where her career ended she didn't mind. She had more than enough money to retire, and she still would have her business.

Natasha ended the call after you'd calmed her as she had more interviews to prepare for.

It felt fulfilling being there for her, helping her through a freak out for once instead of it being the other way around. You knew it wasn't a competition, but it's hard to think otherwise when it's always you on the visibly weaker end.

There was a renewed confidence in your step now, and it showed when you fixed lunch for the whole house instead of letting Cole. You'd ushered him off to play with the kids, and got comfy with the concepts of cooking again.

—

When the next day came you got to hear from Nat sporadically. She told you all about her day, the highlight apparently came when she got to answer fan's questions while playing with cats. You rolled your eyes, knowing now that she'd be insufferable until you finally said yes to her taking in the stray kittens that lived amongst Wanda's garden. The brunette wanted to take them to a shelter a week ago, but Nat told her she'd win you over soon enough.

She begged again before she got off the call, and she was right, because that evening you sent her a picture before she went to sleep of a relieved Wanda on your doorstep with a box.

Natasha called you on the verge of tears, she'd only hung up the phone an hour ago so she could take a shower and get ready for bed. It was only 4pm for you, and 7pm for her, but she had an early morning interview before she was then meant to catch an afternoon flight home.

So, after she thanked you profusely, she settled down in her bed, and you on the couch as you pulled up her most recent interview done with Clint Barton. An actor turned talk show host.

He was also her very best friend, so of course she gave him the tell all story others wanted.

"So Natasha," Clint started with a teasing smirk. "Mhm?" She hummed playfully, her eyes softly rolled as a smirk overtook her face.

"When do I get to meet my niece and nephew?"

"Whenever you catch a flight out to Oregon."

"That's right," he bounces off her seamlessly, "You made the bold move to the Beaver state, what is in Oregon that's not in LA or NYC?"

"Peace," she answered simply. "It's gorgeous, and it's where my love wanted to end up."

Clint smiled, it was incredibly genuine as he admired the lovesick one your wife wore. The man has yet to meet you, but he plans to hug you tightly in silent thanks for changing her life for the better and making her this happy. He's watched her through every phase, the partying, all the meaningless hooking up, to the present.

Where she is outwardly softer, but as expected she is still guarded where she needed to be.

"Your love," he acknowledges, a slight tease to his tone as he met her eyes again. "Why don't you tell me all about who's taking you from us."

Natasha glared at him, but it was a playful way, that she agreed to, to ease her into her purpose for this interview. "You know Clint, I've been acting ever since I was a kid," she thoughtfully began, "It's all I've ever known honestly. It's been my greatest passion for three decades."

She took in a steadying breath, then sighed while wearing a shy smile, "It wasn't until I met her that I envisioned more for myself," her cheeks reddened at the thought of exposing herself in such a vulnerable way to the world.

Acting, telling others stories, was what she did best, but it felt foreign to tell her own like this.

With her eyes closed she imagined your smile, then she heard the memory of your kids giggles and suddenly it was the easiest decision. "Y/N is my light at the end of the tunnel, truthfully."

Clint nodded proudly, leaning back in his seat to metaphorically open the floor up to her.

"I know the world is already freaking out, some angry that I'm off the market, others mad that she's a former stripper, but I don't know why any of that matters to them." Natasha frowned as she tried not to cry. "People are saying my career will end with this, and to those people I say good fucking riddance. I've given almost every last piece of me to this industry, and if me finally choosing my happiness is a problem then I'll let it be for only them. I'm happier than I've ever been, and that is my truth."

"So, you're leaving Hollywood behind?" He asked for clarity, and she shook her head in a partial negation. "I have decided to take a step back, this upcoming film is going to be my final for an indefinite amount of time. I want to focus on my family, and I deserve a break."

"That you do Natasha," Clint acknowledged, behind him on a screen a slideshow of all of her hit movies began to appear. Emphasizing the focus of conversation. "If you retired today I'd say that you've left your mark on the world, even more so with those beautiful babies."

"They are my entire world." Natasha clarified, they were her legacy, sure, but they were so much more than that too. They were a perfect mixture of you both. Apollo with her distinctive eyes, and your sweet smile. Then Luna with her smile, and dimples and your huffy temper.

Both with their own blooming personalities.

The redhead smiled brightly when a photo then flickered on the screen of your little family. The four of you were sat on a park bench, Apollo stood on her lap with his hand pointing to something behind her, she had smiled at the camera, but her eyes focus was torn between him and the phone. Then sat beside her was you, with a blanket over your chest, shielding the hungry baby from the harsh Fall winds.

It was meant to be a cute family photo, and it still was, but far more dysfunctional than intended. Natasha had tried to get Apollo to turn around, but he wouldn't take his eyes off of the firetruck in the back. Then Luna cried, and it was clearly hunger so you let her latch on, and even then it could've been cute, but then she grunted angrily so you covered her.

"You guys look happy," Clint acknowledged, and the woman smiled fondly. "We are."

"Well, I hope that in a few years time we'll be able to see you back on the screen," Clint moves to wrap up the segment. "But if we don't, then I'd like to dedicate a moment of silence to the greatest loss in the industry."

"Oh stop it," she joked tearily, leaning forward to playfully shove his shoulder. Clint winked at the emotional redhead, then he yanked her up and into a bear hug. "Tell Y/N I look forward to meeting her," he whispered, then he planted a kiss on her cheek, and she left the stage with a chorus of loud applause following her.

You turned the TV off, then wiped at the few tears that she'd elicited from you. Seeing her so vulnerable on TV, all in an attempt to make the media go easier on you, was overwhelming. It made your heart swell with more love than before and you couldn't quiet grasp how you could even love her more than you already did.

It also made you want her more than you did yesterday. No longer was it a feeling you could ignore, but instead a deep seeded need you'd had every intention of satiating upon your wife's return. Which is why you rebooked your brothers flight home, and reminded him about that one time you covered for him when he rear ended your evil neighbor Mildred's parked car.

—

The last thing Natasha expected to find as she entered your house late at night was you. But on the couch you sat, with a glass of red wine, and in a matter of seconds you were on her.

"Moya lyubov' I said drink water," she groaned, but it was a humored one. You looked up at her with wide eyes, then you smiled innocently. "Would you believe me if I said that Jesus showed up and magicked it himself?"

"Oh, is that so?" She cackled in a hushed way, you nodded vehemently. "Scouts honor Natty!"

"Mhm?" She teasingly hummed, the vibrato felt as she pressed her lips to yours, and you gasped affectedly. Natasha tried to pull back, feeling guilty for looking like she was trying to initiate anything, but then she felt guilty for feeling guilty because of course she wants you.

"No," you whimpered and clung to her biceps. "Daddy please, I-I'm ready." You were wet, desperation was controlling your mind now.

"You're drunk detka," she pointed out, but you showed her the bottle, proving that you'd only poured the one glass and hadn't had more than two sips. Which was only for liquid courage.

"What's changed for you?" Natasha pulled you down into her lap, you whined in frustration, but then you saw the glossy viridescent orbs full of concern waiting for your reply.

"Seeing you lose your cool on TV over me was hot," you admitted shamelessly, stroking her big ego in the hopes that it'd soon be her cock.

The redhead blushed, but quickly regained her cool as she leaned back into the cushion of the couch and firmly gripped your thighs apart.

"Can I see how hot it made you detka?" Her raspy voice made you dizzy, you nodded and moaned a soft please so she eagerly padded at the wetness seeping through your panties. "Oh look at you detka, you're just so needy, huh?"

She cursed in Russian when you answered with a buck of your hips. With a swift hand she laid you down and said, "You have to be quiet."

You shook your head. "I reminded Cole of a secret I kept, so he collected the kids and all they'd need and went to the guest suite."

"I knew I married a genius," she teased, her heart nearly exploded as you laughed. It'd been so rare to hear nowadays, so it was cherished.

"What do you want moya lyubov'?" Natasha looked deep in your eyes, wearing a smile that said only your pleasure was enough for her.

Instead of answering you pulled her down with a hand wrapped behind the nape of her neck. The kiss was soft, almost exploratory as it'd been so long since you'd had a spike in libido. But when Natasha still remained timid you took the initiative, your hand cupped her bulge, and you slid your tongue over her bottom lip.

She gasped and your tongue pushed beyond her lips, but hers expertly swirled around yours then darted down your throat. As you gagged she couldn't fight off the aching need so she pushed down into your hand and moaned.

The redhead pulled away, panting heavily as she tried to reel her neediness in. You drove her body wild, but she didn't want to get too lost in the lust if you weren't ready yet.

"You've been so patient with me," you purred, "Let me take care of you daddy, please?"

Natasha suddenly stilled, her sorrowful eyes set on yours. "Hey no, detka, you deserve endless patience without expectations."

"Yeah, I know," you breathed. "But we went from having sex every few days to not at all."

Natasha smiled tenderly, her hand cupped your cheek. "That's fine, I don't need sex to be happy with you Y/N. You alone are enough."

"Well, that sentiment is returned, but I'm absolutely serious, so let me give you head."

Natasha was shocked by your bold words, it was a quick recovery though as she snorted, "If I ever say no, please do have me committed."

Natasha smiled triumphantly as you giggled, it always made her heart warm to hear your joy.

The mood swiftly returned to one of lust when after she leaned back you slid out and onto the ground on your knees. The woman was tired, jet lagged to be more precise, but that didn't stop her from helping you take her sweats off.

Natasha was undeniably aroused, her cock stood tall as soon as you slid her boxers off.

"You gonna stare all night detka?" Natasha teased, then her eyes softened. "If you're not ready, just say the word lyubov', it'll be okay."

You shook your head free of worry, and smiled at her for being so sweet. It was comically endearing. Here she sat with an erection that had to be hurting her at this point and she only cared about your comfort. Which actually only made you even more excited to suck her off.

Natasha groaned, the sound raspier than ever before as you traced your tongue over the veins of her cock. Her hands gripped the cushions of the couch as your lips wrapped around her tip, and she nearly came on the spot as your hands steadily pumped up from the base of her cock as your other hand lazily played with her balls.

Her breathing became increasingly labored as you bobbed your head up and down her length, you could feel yourself dripping down your thighs as you'd gone commando beneath her sleep shirt. Hearing just how much she was enjoying this had immeasurably turned you on.

Natasha's hips involuntarily jerked. "Oh fuck." You giggled around her shaft, the vibrations making her do it again, and this time you'd choked. Universal instant karma you suppose.

Natasha stilled, fearful eyes looking down into yours. "I'm okay," you immediately said after gasping for air upon releasing her cock, you didn't move far though, you instead hovered her tip with a goofy smile for hopeful clarity.

"Are you close?" You asked, but with how her shaft continued to twitch beneath your fingertips you'd figured you had your answer. Natasha nodded, it was uncharacteristically shy and you found yourself wanting more soft sensual moments just like this one with her.

"Good." You mused. "Now how about you take over and cum down my throat as a reward."

The way you winked made the pit within her begin to unravel, Natasha's tip instantly coated in pebbles of white as you took over half of her length into your mouth, and proceeded to let her fuck your throat until it was raw. Your nails dug into the skin of her thighs that you were gripping for stability as she thrusted wildly, and glorious tears ran down your warm cheeks.

When she released down your throat the pleasure was blinding, her eyes slammed shut and she moaned for a prolonged moment as the hot spurts didn't stop. Strands of her cum slid down your chin along with your drool as she continuously thrusted until that wave of pleasure she was riding came to an end.

While you both caught your breath you began to get handsy, impatiently pulling at the hem of her shirt until she removed it with a huff of amusement. You then kissed up her body until her cock was trapped against her abdomen by your slippery cunt, and your lips met hers.

Natasha's hands fell to your hips instinctually, and she guided you as you slowly ground into her, letting her tongue explore your mouth. When you whimpered with need she pulled back and you were met with dark, lusty eyes.

"I know you want me inside detka," she teased as she ran a thumb over your swollen lip that was still somewhat coated in her essence. "But daddy's missed your pussy in more ways than one, and I can't help but to need to taste you."

"Please," you whispered affectedly, and she pulled you back in for a deep, heartfelt kiss. "Thank you detka, lay down for daddy now."

Natasha removed your shirt seamlessly as you laid down, the fabric had barely left your skin before you felt her hands all over your body. One second they were gripping you by the hips to keep you from bucking into her face, then they no longer cared as they sought out your breasts. Natasha's tongue flicked over your bundle of nerves just as her thumbs pinched your nubs, and your body writhed as you came.

The orgasm you experienced was intense as the aftershocks continued rolling through you, and in retrospect it was also embarrassingly quick. But it'd been so long and Natasha was just that good, she never struggled to get you to let go.

Every muscle in your body relaxed for all of two seconds, but then the redhead continued to lavish away at your cunt. Cleaning up your arousal, but then delving even deeper to pull another, somehow more intense orgasm from the depths of your soul. Stars bloomed behind the lids of your eyes as you screamed her title.

Over and over again too. Natasha was like a woman starved as she refused to leave her place between your thighs. When you tried to shimmy away she growled, it was terrifying, but in the best way as you involuntarily gushed.

You knew that if you really needed her to stop you could say your safe word, but as much as you felt overstimulated you felt just as good.

"Fuck I missed this," Natasha moaned as she continued to lick at your glistening, puffy cunt. "If I could, I'd never leave this sacred spot."

You were cognitively incapable of a verbalized response besides the occasional, pitiful whine.

Natasha admired your fucked out face briefly before turning your whimpers into loud moans as she wrapped her lips around your clit, and sucked harshly as she suddenly filled you with three of her skilled fingers, that now curled delicately into your g-spot with every thrust.

Tears streamed down your temples, matting your hair to your face, and seeping into the cushions of your couch. You came with a yelp this time, cum absolutely drenching the couch and leaving Natasha in awe. You however were hardly able to breathe, or see as the tears made your sight bleary. This was when your hands flew into her hair, tangling up in the locks as you used all your remaining strength to pull her up to your lips in a redirecting manner.

Natasha kissed you sloppily, her fingers now coming to a stop as she understood your silent pleas. Slowly, after distracting you with a swirl of her tongue around yours, she pulled out. You whined lowly at the loss, but your body appreciatively deflated into the cushions, and while you worked to calm down she began to kiss all over your skin in a calm, soothing way.

"We should go get you cleaned up lyubov'," she murmured against the skin of your neck that she'd been nibbling, your breathing had finally returned to an evened rhythm. "No, please."

Natasha pulled back to look you over, she was shocked to see your eyes desperate for more.

"Are you sure detka?" You frantically nodded, "Yes, fuck, I want you to fill me so bad daddy."

Natasha pressed her lips to yours, and slid her throbbing member into your slick cunt without a hitch. Neither of you were going to last long, and truthfully neither of you needed to. There was already stars where the ceiling once was as your lover pounded into your sloshing cunt.

"Gonna fill you to the brim detka," she moaned against the shell of your ear. "Can't wait to see your beautiful belly grow with my baby again."

Her breaths were hot as they fanned across your twice as hot skin. Every grunt she released brought with it a reactive clench of your walls, and it drove the woman atop of you insane.

Natasha came with a silent scream, her load unleashing havoc on your abused walls, you were a moaning mess as she slammed into your g-spot repeatedly as she chased this glorious high, milking it for all it's worth and herself as well in the process. When she came to a stop, and pulled out of you she gasped.

The amount of cum that oozed out of you was jarring at first inspection. Natasha had never released this much in her life, she's almost certain it's impossible for that much to exist inside a person at once but she just rationalized it as a delayed release for the year without sex.

There was no way you wouldn't get pregnant.

Especially not after Natasha thrusted back inside of you, mumbling something about preserving the chance that made you chuckle.

"Are you prepared for a third baby?" You teased your wife, with a hand mindlessly running through her hair as she laid with her face pressed against your chest. "I once told you detka, I'd make you my breeding bitch."

You cackled, chest shaking beneath her head to the point that she had to lift up and narrow her eyes at you. "I'm not sure why that's funny, but yes, I'm prepared for whatever life brings. With you by my side I'd willingly raise a dozen kids."

Natasha smirked when your humor died away, eyes wide with fear until she finally took over laughing for you. "God, you looked so scared."

You scoffed, "I was. That's a lot of c-sections." Natasha pursed her lips in thought, then she shrugged her shoulders. "Not if we have twins."

"We'll leave the twins to Maximoff," you soon decided over a yawn. "I think two more is fine."

Natasha leaned down to kiss your lips. "Two more sounds perfect. A simple family of six."

"There's nothing simple about you Natasha."

"Yet you love me anyways." You could hear the insecurity in her tease, and it hurt your heart to think someone ever made her feel unlovable. "That I do." You gently guided her lips to yours, kissing her slowly before you guided her face back to the crook of your neck. "Very much."

Neither of you spoke another word, you just laid there soaking in the warmth of your love before slipping off into a restful nights sleep.

The first in a long time actually, and the last genuine one before Raven and Leo arrived.

——

6,389 Words

Nat's former job: Acting / Y/N's: Stripping

Nat's current job: Breeder / Y/N's: To be Bred

❤️ Kaitlyn. 🤭

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff au #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x fem!reader #gxg

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nerdygaymormon · 3 months

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Stake Conference 2024

This blog is a place where I share about my experiences as a queer member of the LDS Church. I'm not going to give a full recap about stake conference, which was wonderful, but about where it intersected with me being queer.

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Elder James N. Robinson of the Seventy came to stake conference.

On Saturday, the stake presidency, stake relief society presidency and their spouses joined Elder Robinson for lunch. To help him get to know us, we went around the table and had everyone introduce themselves by giving their name, where they grew up, something interesting about ourselves, and our nickname.

The Stake president started, and the interesting thing he shared is his journey when his son came out as gay, and that has made him more empathetic which has made him a better stake president than he would otherwise be.

His wife shared that her work is helping LDS families with queer children and helping our church be a more welcoming space.

I was watching Elder Robinson for his reactions to these two speak of having a gay child and how it's been transformative for them. He didn't show any reaction or make any remarks specifically about those things.

When it was my turn, I shared that one of my nicknames is Chuck, short for chuckles because I laugh often. An interesting thing is a video I created for a stake youth conference went viral and was viewed over 2 million times. The stake president then spoke up to share that Bonneville Communications contacted me because they were impressed by the video and the reaction it was getting, and were interested in partnering for an upcoming project...until they learned I put together the video on my iPhone. 😂

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After lunch, the spouses left and the rest of us had a meeting with Elder Robinson. During this meeting he mentioned that he hopes "Come Thou Fount" makes it in the new hymnbook. I said, "I happen to know that it IS included." A counselor in the stake presidency asked me to share how I know that, and I replied that Elder Renlund is head of the committee creating the new hymnbook and he told me.

Then a counselor in the stake relief society presidency said that she wishes "Amazing Grace" could be in our hymnbook, and I shared that it also will be included in the new hymnal.

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After the meeting with the stake presidency and stake relief society presidency, we all went to the leadership session of stake conference, during which Elder Robinson asked for everyone from a certain ward to come up front. He invited them to think of their favorite hymn, and when he said "Go" to start singing it as loud as they can. Needless to say, they sang many different songs and it was chaotic.

He stopped them and asked that this time they sing "I am a Child of God." They sounded pretty good. As they were singing, I was noting how diverse a group they were.

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After the leadership session, Elder Robinson and his wife had dinner with the stake presidency and their spouses. Elder Robinson asked me about the viral video I mentioned at lunch, so I texted him a link. He and his wife are laughing as they watch it on his phone, but turn it off after about 30 seconds. He says it looks very enjoyable and they'll finish watching it that night.

During dinner, one of his counselors commented that the closest he gets to general authorities is hearing David's stories. Elder Robinson turned to me and asked how is it I know Elder Renlund? I shared about sitting next to him and his wife for dinner, getting invited to visit them in Utah, and we have a growing friendship as they have continued to invite me to visit when I'm in Salt Lake City. During this story I mentioned that I’m gay as it was relevant.

The counselor who brought up me meeting with general authorities kept prompting me to share about this or that specific story with the Renlunds, usually something on the more humorous side.

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After dinner as I was sitting in the next session of stake conference, I had this feeling that speaking so casually about the Renlunds gives the wrong impression and that I should explain to the Seventy about how this came to be. That night I sent the following text:

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On Sunday morning, Sister Robinson said that at the hotel they laughed and laughed at my video, sent it to others who would then text back what were their favorite parts.

At the conclusion of stake conference, the stake presidency and stake relief society presidency met again with Elder & Sister Robinson. We were asked to go around the room and share one takeaway we felt during the conference of something we need to do, us personally

He got to me, and I said I need to give a little background information. For the past month there's been a firestorm raging in a small corner of the internet by some members who think the church is too kind to LGBTQ people. Their posts and videos and the comments they generate are extremely mean. Some of these folks brought me up, saying that I'm dangerous to the church and by having a calling it is confusing the members. (at this point, Elder Robinson's smile drops and he looks sad)

I continued on, that in the Leadership Session, Elder Robinson called up everyone from a ward and had them sing I am a Child of God.

These were people of different genders, different ages, different racial & ethnic backgrounds, different socio-economic status, different national origins, different places in their lives, and the gospel was able to unite them.

My takeaway is I am to continue to show people they are accepted and wanted, that by combining their voices with mine we are more powerful

Elder Robinson responded, "I want you to know we (pointing to him and his wife) have your back. And you have a room full of people (stake presidency & stake RS presidency) who have your back

Before the meeting ended, he asked to speak to the stake president privately, and they met in the adjoining office for about 10 minutes. Then they rejoined us and Elder Robinson started wrapping things up.

We ended by Elder Robinson asking the 1st counselor in the stake presidency to give the stake president a blessing. It was such a good idea, the stake president gives many blessings but rarely gets one.

After the meeting, the stake relief society president (who is a military chaplain) came over and said, "My mama bear reared up and I was about to crawl out of my chair and say 'who do I need to go after?'"

The stake clerk's wife is retired from the Army and heard what I shared, she said to give her the website and she will make their lives miserable. Of course I didn't give her any details, but I appreciated the fierce show of love from both of them.

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I next saw the stake presidency on Wednesday at our regular presidency meeting. We reviewed stake conference and my stake presidency decided when they meet with the bishops one-on-one to offer to give them a blessing. I think that’s a great idea as they also give many blessings but rarely receive one.

After our meeting as we’re headed to our cars, the stake president said, “Hey David, when Elder Robinson pulled me aside for those few minutes, he said several things, including that he appreciates that I have you in this calling because you bring a different point of view. That you’re a good man and I should keep you close.” 💖

Guess I'm not getting released any time soon from being the stake executive secretary 😅

#james n robinson #long post

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maweallgotohell · 9 months

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚Jerome Valeska* x artist reader˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Okay wait guys hear me the fuck out-

Jerome secretely walking the streets of Gotham after an exhausting meeting and seeing artist reader on a camping chair in front of the easel she brought, painting an old man and his wife sitting on a bench by the river?!?! AND THEN HE FALLS FOR HER BECAUSE SHE'S SO PASSIONATE ABOUT ART AND PAINTING?!?!

okok so she doesn't know about him being a famous criminal and she finds him like super aesthetically pleasing, like his looks, the scars etc. yk. He seems very interesting to her.

In her eyes, all about him is a piece of art and he's like super impressed by her talent and her kindness.

And so they chat a little and then he asks her for her NUMBER AND WHEN SHE GETS HOME SHE IMMEDIATELY RECEIVES A MESSAGE FROM HIM, ASKING IF SHE'D GO OUT ON AN ART MUSEUM DATE!?!? AND THEN THEY GO ON A FUCKIN' ART MUSEUM DATE TOGETHER?!?!

or she sees him while she's painting and she thinks he's so breathtakingly pretty that she paints him and when she's finished, she confidently walks over to him and hands him the painting and then the rest happens?!?!

omg I have to make this a one shot, I'm crying-

and when they're together, they move in together and he especially picked out an apartment with an extra room, so that could be her own little atelier?

And when he's exhausted from "work", he likes to make them both a coffee and watch her paint for fuckin' HOURS, or, if she doesn't paint in that moment, they snuggle up with blankets on the couch together and watch art documentaries until they fall asleep?!?!

If they watch documentaries about artists, she often starts crying, either because their lifes were so tragic, or because their art is so pretty. Mostly both. Jerome gets all confused then but adores his girlfriend for being so empathetic and how such things can impact her or make her feel in such a way.

And sometimes when they both have time, they go out together and they pick out a nice place to paint. Sometimes those are places which either her or him find very beautiful and then she paints them on like cafe or picnic dates (depends on the place) and he collects all those drawings and paintings and keeps them in kind of a collection folder or he goes and gets them framed so he can put them up on the walls of their living room or kitchen?

From time to time he even asks her, if she could paint him (she does that so often, he's kind of like her muse) or he asks if they could paint together and if she could teacch him some techniques.

He also asks her to explain the painting tools she uses to him.

"What the fuck is gouache YN?"

"Why would you use a spatula? And then even in 12 different sizes."

" What do you sketch the little squares for?"

"What does the 'HB' on your pencil mean?"

It's so funny and adorable to her, how interested he is in her hobby. It's so cute.

Oh and he randomly brings you stuff, even if he doesn't know what it's for.

"Hey YN! I just came back and guess what I brought you? A palette of aquarelles! I can't really tell the difference between watercolors and this, but the palette was so small and cute, I had to get it for you."

He'd be such a cutie when it comes to your hobby omg-

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

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loominggaia · 2 days

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Anonymous asked: Worst dad poll: At least Darshan meant well. Like yeah he's kind of an idiot but he was just trying to give his family a better life. Same could be said for Sebastian and Ojio. Ekwame was just old and lazy. Can't really blame him for marrying a teenager if that's normal in his culture. No excuses for Foster and Vingvar though their genuinely bad fathers. I voted for Vingvar because at least Foster put food on the table and didn't cheat on his wife AFAIK. /my two cents

randomhedgehog asked: In regards to the Worst Dad Poll, I feel like Foster or Ekwame is the only real option. Sebastion and Ojio both loved/love their families alot. Knowing Sebastions background, I'm willing to give him a pass on the Hoarding. Likewise, Ohio gets a pass on the Workaholicism since he was literally raised in Workaholic City where if he wasn't, he and his family would be in deep trouble. And! He's unlearning the Trans/Homophobia that's been shoved in his ear since his conception! He definitely scores points for that! Vingevar is literally just, there ig? His wrongdoings seem pretty average compared to Foster and Ekwame. Darshaan was trying to give Isaac the life he never got! Growing up a Child Soldier probably doesn't make you a cautious adult, either. Foster is a product of his environment, but that still doesn't excuse how he treated Evan, Abigail and Sofia! Not to mention he literally owned slaves. If someone thinks of a redeeming quality that he has, I'm waiting to hear it. Ekwame literally married a teenager. And impregnated said Teenager. I know we all hate Moswen, but I feel so bad for her thinking of what happened. Speaking of Moswen- Ekwame didn't even notice she was abusing Lukas and Jelani!!!! And If he did, then that's even worse!

Anonymous asked: I think Ojio is a good dad actually! At least he was in that one story (can't remember the title rn sorry)

These are all such great and thoughtful points to consider! I'm seeing good arguments on all sides!

In regards to Ekwame, @randomhedgehog raised an interesting question: did he even know about Moswen abusing his kids? The narrative says he barely acknowledged his sons' existence, and Moswen was very good at hiding her abuse. Still, he would have to be pretty damn dense (or perhaps senile) not to notice how scared they acted around their own mother, not to mention all the injuries they must have had. Moswen insults his intelligence a lot, so I think it's likely that he genuinely didn't realize what she was doing to them. However, even if he did know, something tells me he wouldn't care that much anyway. He would view it as good old fashioned corporal punishment and nothing more.

Anon also brought up a great point about the morality of marrying a teenager when he was raised in a culture that sees no harm in that. I think if Ekwame was a smarter, more empathetic man, he would be able to see how miserable Moswen was and refuse to marry her. But we get the impression that he doesn't think very hard about anything, and doesn't really view women and children as fully-realized people. This guy's misogynistic culture was really working against him, but I think half of the problem is just his own mental laziness.

He's not exactly malicious, he's just...kind of a dumb, privileged guy who bumbles through life and doesn't care about much beyond his own comfort. For this reason, I personally side with @randomhedgehog on this. I think he a bad father, a bad husband, and a pretty crummy person in general. Not because he's mean per se, but because he's so damn selfish and apathetic. Although not as overt as Moswen's abuse, his neglect still had a profound negative effect on his family.

Now, Foster...Anon brought up a good point about him staying faithful to his wife and consistently putting food on the table. That's true! He may have been a raging jerk, but to his credit, he worked hard and he never let his family go without. Evan actually brings this up in one story. He had enough sense not to physically harm his wife or kids, even at his drunkest, so the guy must have had some kind of love for them. He even has a few heartfelt moments with Evan in "Monster by Moonlight" after Evan's health improved. So, he's not totally incapable of warmth.

Foster strikes me as a guy who was totally sabotaged by his upbringing. If his own parents weren't so dysfunctional, I feel like he'd actually be a pretty good dad. Unfortunately his family tree was riddled with problems like alcoholism, incest, and poverty among other things, and this really worked against Foster. He was not strong enough to overcome his demons, and he didn't really have access to therapy or anything to help him out. All he had to turn to was a shitty, bigoted religion that just reinforced his bad behaviors. He never stood a chance.

I'm not saying I give Foster a pass for his abuse--because I don't. He clearly knew the difference between right and wrong, and he chose to do wrong by his family. I'm just saying that between him and Ekwame, I think I would choose Ekwame as the worse father. Ekwame wasn't mean to his kids like Foster was, but only because he didn't care enough to spend even a shred of emotional energy on them. Foster was mean because he cared, he just had no idea how to express things like fear or anger properly, so it came out as verbal abuse.

As for Vingevar, yes, it was awful of him to cheat on his pregnant wife and abandon his family for some side chick. Imagine how his kids must have felt when he disappeared! On the other hand, there are two sides of every story, and Vingevar hasn't appeared in person to tell his side yet. We know how aggressive Oggsa is, and there may be a whole other facet to this situation we don't yet know about. For this reason, I will hold my judgment on Vingevar until more is revealed.

I do agree that Darshaan, Ojio, and Sebastian all meant well and did the best they could with what they had. Maybe they weren't perfect, maybe they made some mistakes, but I don't believe for a second that these men meant their kids harm at any point. I think their worst crimes were just being misguided or not thinking things through very well.

I love to hear all these takes, it really gets me thinking!

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

#ask #askliterature #askpoll

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thephantomcasebook · 1 year

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do you like Alicent in hotd? i didn't read the book but i knew that she's supposed to be machiavellian queen mother archetype, so i was ready to like her a lot. midseason i realised that they're going for "Carmela Soprano" archetype instead - powerful man's long-suffering wife. by the end of the season she was not even that, just non-entity, too meek to want something, to get mad, to demand respect. she's too empathetic to literally all women, including undeserving one (rhae rhae). the "she will make good queen" in ep 8 was the last straw, i couldn't watch it anymore. the only thing that can possibly give her some points back is romance with Criston. not cheating or sneaking around somewhere, but an actual passionate romance - they wanted it all these years but restrained themselves out of their principles and morals but now Vizzy is dead they can be together for real without shame. i don't want Daeron to be his biologically, but i want all Alicent's kids to honour him as their father, the one who raised them.

"Viserys might have been your father ... but he wasn't your Daddy."

-Ser Criston Cole

I'm very attached to the character of Alicent - probably more than I've ever been attached to a character in quite awhile. Which surprises people for some reason based on my very vocal negative opinions on Olivia Cooke as a immature woman-baby - which, frankly, I've always had. Even before HOTD.

I got attached to the character around Episode 4 and then fell in love with her in episode 5. I've always liked Olivia Cooke as an actress and I've always found her very attractive since "Bates Motel" so I was kinda playing the waiting game till she showed up - but Emily Carey actually surprised me a lot. She really made feel and get really protective of Alicent at a young age. And that feeling bled into Adult!Alicent and her children.

I do, have my criticisms of the character from the show that I really don't like. I really, really, hate her indecision and constant anxiety. In the book, Alicent was absolutely rock-solid and was extremely wise.

During Aemond and Criston's Green War Council on the Riverlands Offensive, it was Alicent who suggested that Aemond wait till Daeron refitted and reorganized the Southern Army so that Daeron and his men could link up with the Lannisters and that Daeron could lead the assault on the Red Fork with Tessarion, rather than trust Jason Lannister - who was no military man. And she turned out to be right. Had Daeron led the assault they would've torn the Stark and Riverlords to pieces rather than the battle end in a bloody and meaningless stalemate.

I also hate the "You'll be a good queen" thing, cause, in the book they were at the point of no return by the feast.

When Aemond lost his eye, that was when Alicent and Criston basically called the banners to prepare for future war. They recalled Otto and Daeron from Oldtown and they brought to bear with them a mini Hightower Army and marched into the Red Keep. Aemond losing an eye was Alicent's last straw in dealing with both Viserys and Rhaenyra both.

Alicent in the book with Viserys after Aemond lost an eye.

youtube

Knowing what we know now about how much influence that Sapochnik's wife and Sara Hess had on the season 1, changing things on set for their activism. Now that basically all of the activists but Hess are out of the production and knowing Taylor, I wonder if they're gonna make Alicent more formidable in Season 2.

What I really do hope is that the real Criston Cole shows up. Cause Criston in the books is a fucking genius level strategist and utterly fucking fearless as a warrior. Everything that Alicent knows, all her wisdom, comes from learning from Criston for twenty years. I desperately want the dynamic duo of Alicent and Criston that you get in every iteration of "Fire and Blood". Alicent has killer instincts and Criston has the brains and cleverness to make Alicent's dreams and schemes a reality.

Criston Cole is in my top 5 favorite ASoIaF universe characters, cause the dude had it all - brains, fighting skill, genius level command in battle, and the love of a beautiful and stalwart queen. Criston in the books is a chad and I want to see that brooding and cerebral champion of the Greens of whom Aemond and Daeron learned at the feet of since they were small children in the goddamn show.

#House of the Dragon #Alicent Hightower #Criston Cole #Alicole #alicent x criston

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criolla-star · 2 months

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A Fiery Lovestory(Red Son x Mk part 2)

( go check out part 1 if you haven't already totally just didn't upload part 1 before i really should be working on my other story but i love this ship so yea also Pif stands for Princess Iron Fan aka Dbks' wife)

(with Macaque) Macaque managed to slip away into the shadows with Red Son and brought him to the castle before resting him the bed, "Stay here kid I'll go get things to fix you up" Macaque said before disappearing, Red Son felt like absolute dog shit, his father left him there like he always done hell he almost died he couldn't trust anyone except Macaque, you see well Macaque has always been there for him he helped him by managing to get him away from his parents he didn't see Macaque as family more just as a friend. Red Son brought his knees to his chest before hugging himself and sobbing quietly.

Macaque came back and saw Red Son, "You poor thing..."Macaque said out feeling empathetic. He gently brought Red Son closer before carefully taking off his jacket and putting his glasses on the bedside table. The shadow demon let out a sharp sigh as he stared at his friends' wounds. "Red, bud can you take off your shirt for me? Need ta see your wounds better" Macaque asked which the prince obeyed taking off his shirt letting out a small whimper due to how much his body hurt. Macaque handed him an ice back to put on his bruise as he began gently disinfecting his wounds. Red Son hissed in pain as he felt the alcohol disinfect hit his wounds, "Sorry sorry..."Macaque instantly said. This took about 10 minutes, "Hey why don't you go have a shower then I'll put the bandages on and I'll go make you some food to eat once you're done" Macaque said before getting up to give Red Son some privacy.

The prince turned on the shower letting it adjust to the perfect temperature before stripping the rest of his clothing and untying his hair. He then carefully went in their letting out a small pained whimper which turned to relief as the warm water poured over his body comforting him, the prince reached toward the shampoo and picked it up, he then lathered his hair with it the room filled up as the smell of vanilla and raspberry filled his senses his tail flicked splashing a little water to the side. Red Son then put conditioner in his hair which was the same scent. He then scrubbed his skin with a lavender body soap. He was still being careful but he eventually finished and turned off the water, wrapping a towel around himself. Red Son went in his room then put his boxers on then sweatpants he didn't put his shirt on yet, Macaque needed to put the bandages on.

"Macaque! You can come in" Red Son said out he knew he would be heard Macaque came in with two bowls of noodles, "There we go, you look better already" Macaque said out happily before handing Red Son his bowl, "Made it extra spicy just the way you like it" the monkey demon said before grabbing bandages. Red Son smiled at him and thanked him. "Well the good thing is I managed to get you out place but now Wukong and his friends know we're friends" Macaque said, "I highly doubt they think we're friends that probably think there's something in it for you" Red replied as he began eating.

Macaque finished bandaging him up and started eating his noodles, "Red Son!!Come here right now" DBK shouted. Macaque stared at Red Son worriedly, "You sure you wanna go to them?" He asked which Red Son nodded too before finishing up eating putting on his shirt and going down, "He really needs to stop leaving me here" Macaque told himself.

"F-Father you wanted to see me?" Red Son said out nervously as he fixed himself up, "Your idiocy made us embarrass ourselves in front of the brats" Pif said out in a bitter tone, "B-but I did what I was told too I kept them busy" The fiery prince stuttered out nervously earning a scoff from his mother, "Doesn't even know what he did wrong" she said. His father stared down at him angrily, "You imbecile! if you haven't had made a massive fire this never would've happen!!!!" DBK scolded his son, "O-oh! I'm s-sorry it won't happen again I promise" Red Son instantly apologised, " It better not...you bring shame to the family name" His mother said mumbling the last part. "Now hurry along my useless son and go build some more machines because that's all you're good for and even those aren't good" Pif said out , "Y-yes mother..." Red Son replied sadly before walking away.

Red Son began working hard hammering and soldering things together. He stared at a piece of metal before pressing his face against it, "Why do I still tolerate them..."He whispered to himself. He continued to stare at the metal before attempting to solder it to another piece. Suddenly a huge flame appeared and Red Son backed away instantly stopping the fire, "W-well that wasn't meant to happen..." Red Son said.

Red Son got up before teleporting away into the city he lifted a hoodie over his head before continuing to walk around, it was the afternoon it's been 2 hours since the battle finished and well he was exhausted but he didn't want to spend time in that hellhole, suddenly out of nowhere it began raining cause no story is complete without some rain. "Ah great just what I fucking needed!! Just the cherry on top to this day!" He hissed. Red Son tried to teleport but couldn't due to it extinguishing his flame he let out a sigh before he began kicking rocks as he walked, "Stupid family, stupid dragon horse girl, stupid Monkey king, stupid noodle boy and the rest of his friends,...stupid noodle boy and his stupid handsome face" Red Son realised what he said and blush spread across his face. "What am I on about he isn't handsome!!But he is...that peasant must've done something to me!!" Red Son hissed.

He continued walking before bumping into a familiar face. I wonder who it could be???

(also his tail is like a demon tail it has a little spade shape at the tip)

#fanfiction #monkie kid spicynoodles #spicynoodleshipping #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego #lmk red son #mk lmk

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ozmarig · 1 year

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A glimpse of the royal life

Spare by Prince Harry My rating: 5 of 5 stars I read this and listened to the audiobook at the same time, which made for a more engaging experience. Prince Harry's voice came out very clearly, even through the written words. Kudos to his ghost writer, who captured the essence of his personality. I do not know much about Harry as I do not follow the escapades of the royal family, but I have heard snippets of his naughty scrapes in his youth. Prior to reading this book, to me, he was a privileged boy who does humanitarian work. How much and how involved, I had no idea. I must have had expectations, because the book disarmed me. The first part was about his childhood, especially right after his mother died, and how he coped with the pain and trauma of it. It brought me to tears as Harry's suffering reminded me of my own son's behaviour (who lost his father at 5years old). The second part was about his adulthood, and Harry was very honest and raw about his weaknesses, his mistakes, the coping mechanism he employed, and the salvation he found in the army. He was also very consistent with his loathing against the British media, his frustration at not being able to fight back, or at least the way the institution (his family and their minders) prevented him. Here, Harry was a frustrated, traumatised young man trying to find a way (any way, even temporary ones) to alleviate the pain, and to survive the restricted life he was forced into as a royal, including being the target of vitriol based on lies. He debunked more than a few of the stories written about him in the British tabloids. And confirmed a few basic truths. It was a really clever move as the media can no longer use those to make up stories about him. The third part was about his meeting Meghan and their life together. And what they went through. This was heart-wrenching. And my thought was, Meghan was his lifeline, the final rope that pulled him out of the golden quicksand he was neck-deep in, and into the freedom he now enjoys. At the expense of herself—her mental health, public image, and her own freedom. You can feel, almost taste, how much Harry adored his wife and kids. Maybe it was my love for romance novels, but one could not help but root for them. Their story is one of the most beautiful, torturous, and sweetest that I have every read. The book was also a study of human behaviour. About how the Royal Family operates, why they behave as they do. King Charles couldn't help what he is because he was trained to be like that, to the detriment of his sons. Especially his heir, William. Harry was the luckier one. And while there is glamour at being a royal, it is also very sad to be one. Harry and the other members of the family that were not heirs were like gold-plated, diamond-encrusted servants to the crown. It makes one think why would one even want to be born into it. A person born into a non-royal but rich family is so much better off. Harry lacked love, freedom, and money. Yes, money. Despite the net worth of the estate of the royal family, Harry was very dependent on his father's hand-outs (as most of the royals are including Charles brothers and sisters). And not because he was lazy, but because he wasn't permitted to have a career outside being a royal. His being a soldier was the only exception allowed, because it adds to the prestige of the Royal Family. King Charles was both Harry's father and employer, and the man wasn't very good in either role. Harry was a pauper underneath the princely trimmings. And Meghan was the warrior princess in a shining armour made of everything Harry didn't have but needed. She was educated, confident and free, both financially, emotionally and intellectually. And they bonded because they were made of the same empathetic heart. She came at the right time for him, when he was already restless, and finding a reason to break away. Spare was beautifully written, and Harry as the narrator for the audible file was perfect. I highly recommend it. View all my reviews

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matt-the-radar-techncian · 2 years

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It's actually interesting you brought up Eren. He is one of the characters I was thinking about and I kind of somewhat thought while obviously what he is doing is without a doubt extremely bad because it goes into genocide, I kind of somewhat thought his situation is.... I guess massively complicated with the whole world having this view that is so deeply rooted that him and his people are Devil's on Earth and.... isn't so innocent and with that I thought people were as more understanding with his decisions even though it is like massively fucked up then Rose, and goes back to the whole thing with him having main character status.

I was kind of thinking Grisha was a bit more comparable to Rose because I kind of think he had a similar treatment with flashbacks and stuff as well as he's also guilty of something like the fact that he was abusive to Zeke and that got his first wife and other people who are against what Marley was doing to them captured and turned into Titans but I kind of feel like they showed his story in a way that makes him a lot more sympathetic and understanding and show his change bit more clearly then Rose when he was in the walls and you do got that one part like at the end of the series.

It did kind of made me ask myself if Rose is...kinda unique when compared to other characters? I'm not sure if it's accurate to say this based on the fact that it seems like other characters while done some questionable things seem more sympathetic or even forgiven in some cases more than rose. If we are just sticking with SU characters, I'm assuming the reason may have something to do with the fact that she does play a major part into why let's say CG's behave the way they do earlier in the series and that caused major problems among them and Steven and the fact that she's pretty much responsible for the entire series. I'm guessing that's how she's a lot more criticized. Other characters from the other franchises more interesting I have seen people seem to say Bojack, a character who is supposed to be like a very massive ass seem a little bit more empathetic? Although I think this is based on the opinions I have seen that the fact that he took responsibility and not Rose so I think responsibility might be a factor into this too

Now that you mention it yeah Grisha might be a better analogue for Rose, both being parents of the main character who set a lot of the events of the series in motion, and continue to influence the story long after they're dead. I think the reason people aren't so hard on him is that a lot of his more questionable moments are quickly overshadowed by things that Eren and Zeke do (especially when Eren was the one telling him to kill the royal family in the first place). The last time we see Grisha is when we realize that Eren had been manipulating him for some time, and the very next episode is when the Rumbling starts

Compare this to the last times we hear about Pink Diamond, which is when we learn about Spinel's backstory and about what happened to Pink Pearl. The choice to focus on these in the later episodes may lead the viewer to think that the show, and by extension Steven and the rest of the CGs, just hate her by the end. Steven very well might, which somewhat justifies the focus on her past mistakes, but I think it's clear that Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl still don't. I just wish people would stop taking this as proof that "the crew hated Rose" or that "Rose is irredeemable"

And yeah you might be right about the whole "taking responsibility" angle, since a lot of these other characters usually don't get the "happy ending" of just living in freedom for a while, before dying in childbirth. What people forget is that Rose definitely did sacrifice a lot though, she gave up her entire way of life on Homeworld, and also lost almost all of her friends/allies except for Pearl and Garnet to the corruption bomb. The act of giving up her life to create Steven could be seen as selfishly running away from her problems and not taking responsibility, but there's another interpretation. Even after creating an entirely new persona and life, she still hates herself and would rather give up her life to create someone who can love themself instead. Is this "leaving her problems for someone else to deal with"? Yes, but that's not the whole story, and not considering how Rose probably actually felt about this goes to show that people barely see her as her own character, which is another reason she gets a lot less sympathy from fans

#steven universe #pink diamond #rose quartz #attack on titan #aot #grisha jaeger #su

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cassidylea123 · 2 years

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So, the movies I've been watching lately are in my "1,001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" book, and my goal is to watch all 1,001 of them. I've decided to write mini reviews about them as I watch them to get my brain working.

•Körkarlen [also known as The Phantom Carriage] (1921)

Directed By: Victor Sjöström

Plot Summary: on New Year's Eve, the driver of a phantom carriage forces a drunken man to reflect on his wasted life.

Where to Watch: YouTube

This is a beautiful yet haunting film. One could link this movie to both "A Christmas Carol" and "It's a Wonderful Life", as all three of these films show a ghostly figure showing a down and out man sequences of his life. This film tugs at your heartstrings. At first, you strongly dislike the main character, because it is clear that he is a mean and violent drunk who puts himself before others, even his own wife and kids. However, as the film continues and he is shown just how much of a monster he had become, he starts to come to terms with what he has done and wants to make everything right. There is one quote towards the end of the film that is especially impactful. After being shown just how much damage he has caused towards his wife and kids, he says, "Lord, please let my soul come to maturity before it us reaped". All in all, a great film deserving of a watch.

•La souriante Madame Beudet [also known as The Smiling Madame Beudet] (1922)

Directed By: Germaine Dulac

Plot Summary: an unhappily married woman devises a plot to get rid of her husband.

Where to Watch: YouTube

I will be the first to admit that I wasn't a huge fan of the film. I find that when I watch a truly good film, I am able to connect with the characters in some way. This did not happen to me with this movie. This film depicts a woman trapped in a loveless marriage to a truly insufferable man. However, just because I wasn't a huge fan of this film, doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't give it a try. One refreshing aspect is that the film is told from the woman's point of view, which wasn't often the case during that era. It also allows the viewers to feel empathetic towards the woman. While it is obvious that killing your husband is never the answer, telling the story from the wife's perspective allows us to see exactly why she feels driven to such desperate measures. I also feel that this is a movie that should be shown in any Women's History class, as it has feminist themes and was directed by a woman, which again was uncommon for that time period. Even though I wasn't a big fan of this film, I can still understand why it is widely celebrated.

•Dr. Mabuse, der Spieler [also known as Dr. Mabuse the Gambler] (1922)

Directed By: Fritz Lang

Plot Summary: criminal mastermind Dr. Mabuse sets out to run Berlin as a determined detective is keen on stopping him.

Where to Watch: YouTube

While one might think that an almost five hour long silent film is not for them, I encourage everyone to give this film a try. One of the reasons someone might be opposed to silent films is that they feel those films are outdated. However, I would argue that is not the case, especially with this movie. The idea of a criminal, master of disguise and a young, determined detective wanting to take him down is something we see quite often in modern day films. This movie is so worth the watch. It starts off slowly, but the intensity builds and builds as the detective finally starts to catch up to Dr. Mabuse. I never once found myself staring off into space or counting down the minutes until the movie was finally over. I was completely sucked in the entire time. I was so excited when it seemed like Dr. Mabuse would finally be brought to justice, but then I would get upset when he managed to escape somehow. I am very confident that you wouldn't be bored while watching this. Give it a try!

#silent movies #greatmovie #1001 movies #movie review #1920s #1920s art #the phantom carriage #french #french film #filmisnotdead

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meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🎃 𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖍 🎃 |

↪ ✦ sea castles ✦

this chapter pairing; yandere!woozi x reader, subtle jeonghan x reader

genre&warnings; merman!au, yandere!woozi, character death, dom!woozi/possessive!woozi, virgin!reader, overstimulation, oral(fem receiving), cheating, drugs/poisoning, kidnapping.

✖ That being said, I do NOT condone yandere-like/obsessive/possessive behaviour in real life. this is a work of fiction therefore I will indulge in it. If you do NOT like this kind of content, please just ignore it.

notes; Welcome to the first installation to Monster Mash, where we explore the strange and unusual with our monster fucker anonymous club! 👻 🎃 Let’s get spooky, bitches! As always, I just want to take the time to thank you all for the interest in Monster Mash! 😳 I was not expecting it tbh so thank you all so much!💕 also if the writing style of this seems weird just know that I wrote half of this in 2018 so some parts read different from my usual write style, in my opinion at least 😭 hehe~ anyway, enjoy this first chapter and I will see you all in the next! 😌✨

word count; ~5100

chapters; 1 - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

baby, why don't you see, see my sea?

make slow, get inside and pull on my sea

get inside and build your castle into me

Jihoon’s head breaks through the surface of water, sea foam momentarily blinding him as he frantically searches beyond the jagged rocks for any sign of his human companion. His fragile hands move slowly over the rocks. She’s late again, He thinks. Nothing new.

A sigh escapes his lips as he rests his head on one of the rocks, closing his eyes as he waits, a soft hum on his lips when he drifts out of consciousness.

When he wakes, he isn’t even aware he’s fallen asleep but the frantic thoughts that someone’s found him sends him into overdrive as his pale grey eyes sweep over the shore once again; eyes landing on a figure sitting not too far away.

“Jihoon you’ve fallen asleep on me again.” You chide. A blush forms on Jihoon’s cheeks as he ducks under the water momentarily, hoping the slight chill of the water will keep the heat from spreading to his face. “You’re late again”, he starts, “We agreed to meet here when the tower bell chimes for sun down every other nightfall, didn’t we?” There’s a moment of hesitation on his end but he wades through the water, carefully making his way towards you.

“I’m really sorry about being late, it was Jeonghan, I--”

Jihoon’s eyes flash a pale pink, tuning you out at the sound of his name. Jeonghan; the prince and your soon to be husband. Jihoon doesn’t like him, not one bit. “It’s fine! I’m just glad you could make it…” A pout on his lips as he picks a rock near your legs, propping his arms up onto it as he stares up at you and rests his chin on his folded arms.

“What were you up to today, Jihoonie?” You ask. Your fingers curl around the hem of your dress as you pull it further up your legs, not wanting it to get wet from the rising tide. He hums in thought, his eyes falling onto your bare legs.

“Um, well, Seungcheol-hyung and I went and checked out that sunken ship I told you about last week… There was still some stuff left inside so we brought it back to the castle!”

A smile graces your lips as you watch him talk animatedly; there was always something so calming about being around Jihoon. You fondly remembered the first time you’d met him. Scared and curious about the man peering at you from beyond the rocks, not knowing that he felt the exact same way that you did.

That had been a few months ago now and the two of you had become good friends, meeting every other night for a chat before anyone in the castle knew you were missing. He was handsome, kind and most of all, friendly.

“Hey, are you listening?” Jihoon pouts up at you, lips curling into a teasing smile when a blush forms on your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, I was zoning out thinking about how we met. Why don’t you start again, from the beginning?”

“You’re late.”

Jeonghan’s already a third of a way through dinner before you enter through the double doors. “Forgive me, I’ve--I’ve lost track of time.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he picks at his food; this was quite routine of you. “Isn’t that what you always say?” You take a seat across Jeonghan, grimacing when the wet hem of your dress touches your bare legs. “I like taking my time on my walks. It helps me clear my head.”

Jeonghan takes a sip of his wine, standing from the grandiose table as he makes his way down the length of it, to your side.

“You should be careful on those walks of yours. I’ve heard there’s dangerous creatures lurking around the edges of town. You wouldn’t want to get caught up in the crossfire, would you?”

“No, Jeonghan, I--I wouldn’t.”

“Jihoon-hyung!!”

Seungkwan swims over to Jihoon; a bright smile on his face when he reaches the older male. “Hey, are you alright? You seem upset.”

Jihoon’s pale grey eyes blink sadly, “I’m… okay. I’m just…”

“It’s that human again, isn’t it?”

It always is, Jihoon thinks. He was always glad for your friendship and your kindness, but he always craved for more. Even if the current circumstances didn’t allow it. “Well, yes. It’s just that... I wish there was a way I could get her to see me and not my… well, you know.” He chuckles sadly, watching the way Seungkwan mimics his sadness.

Jihoon liked Seungkwan.

Out of all of his brothers, he was always the most empathetic.

“She’s going to be married, hyung. To the prince, no less. She’ll be queen eventually once the king passes and Prince Jeonghan takes his place. Need I remind you she’s human and you’re not? You should be thankful she hasn’t exposed you yet.”

The older male grimaces at the thought alone. She’d never do that to me.

“I know, I know. It’s just going to take some time, that’s all. She’s not like the other royals on land… She’s a good person.”

Seungkwan wraps an arm around Jihoon’s shoulder; lips pursed in a tight smile. “You’re in line for the throne here as well, you know? The other hyungs don’t seem to care for the throne, but you, hyung, suit it well. You’ll find someone. I promise.”

The next morning, you wake up with a sigh on your lips.

I hate it here.

The only reason why you were to be wed to Prince Jeonghan was solely because both of your respective parents wanted to have a joint rulership of the western lands and needed successors down the line, should the time come. Neither you nor Jeonghan were necessarily happy with the idea, but Jeonghan had quickly taken a certain possessiveness over you that confused you greatly.

On most days, he seemed uncaring, even standoffish. But there were a few times since the announcement of your marriage where he seemed to have quickly taken the role of overbearing husband.

A knock at your door brings you out of your thoughts; a small ‘come in’ muttered just loud enough as an older handmaid pokes her head in.

“Miss, we should get you ready for the day. Prince Jeonghan would like your company for tea in the garden.”

That’s new.

“I’m telling you that Wonwoo is dangerous, Vernon! You need to be careful!”

Jihoon swims up to Seungcheol and Vernon in the heat of their conversation, brows furrowed in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Seungcheol lets out an exasperated sigh in return, “It’s that Wonwoo…”

Jihoon’s lips purse into a firm line. Not all mercreatures were gifted with magical abilities, but Wonwoo was one of the few that were. He granted anyone of their desires, whether the intentions were good or bad. As long as you paid the right price for it. Wonwoo lingered on the southern side of the underwater kingdom, tucked away within the giant kelp and crystal caves where most mercreatures knew to stay away from.

Although, the younger ones were always riddled with temptation.

“Vernon, what were you even doing over there?” Jihoon asks. The youngest exhales harshly, avoiding his hyungs’ piercing stares.

“I just---I was curious. That’s all.”

This time it’s Seungcheol who inquires, “About what, exactly?”

“Don’t you ever wonder what you would have to trade to be able to go on land, at least once?”

Jihoon clenches his jaw. He knew better.

He knew better.

Jeonghan waits patiently and never raises his voice.

Quite frankly, he’s not very good at it, he’ll admit.

However, what he does expect from you is your obedience and absolute loyalty to him, especially with your wedding just around the corner.

The last thing he wanted were the townspeople talking about a king with a disloyal and disobedient wife.

“You wanted to see me for tea?” Jeonghan looks up from his lap, noting you standing a few feet away with Mingyu, one of his guards.

“Yes, have a seat. Mingyu, you can go.” The taller male nods, pulling out the garden chair for you before he leaves. Jeonghan pours you a cup of warm tea, sliding the tea cup across the small table. “I spoke to my father earlier this morning before he left.” His eyes flit to you, already noticing the way the colour drains from your face at the simple mention.

“They want us to move the wedding closer. Next week, if possible.”

“I--wh--why exactly, may I ask?”

Jeonghan can hear the shakiness in your voice as he reaches for his own tea cup. “First of all, it’s not my choice. My father just requested as such and I expect you to fall in line as well. These nightly walks along the edges of town need to stop, immediately. I can’t have rumours flying around town about us. Am I clear?”

Your hands ball up into fists in your lap; tomorrow might be the last time you’d be able to speak to Jihoon.

“I--yes, I understand.”

When the tower bell chimes for sundown the next evening, you’re already waiting by the water’s edge.

You had to make it back in time before Jeonghan noticed you’d already snuck out.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

His half-hearted smile is enough to alert you that he hasn’t been having the best of days either. But you find yourself getting choked up as your vision blurs with each second; unshed tears making it hard for you to speak.

“I--I’m sorry, but---but I c-can’t come back here…” You whisper out. Jihoon’s eyes flash a pale pink as he leans up onto a rock closer to you.

“What are you talking about?”

“Jihoon, I’m---I’m getting married next w-week.”

Jihoon begs for forgiveness in his head.

Asks to be spared for the sin he’s about to commit.

He fumbles through the giant kelp; tail getting caught with each second he goes further and further into the murky depths until he comes across the crystal caves.

It would be just one time. He promises.

He finds the small opening in the cave, making sure nobody sees him when he swims in.

“Oh? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Wonwoo’s voice is deep and matches the alluring smirk painted across his features when he spots Jihoon at the entrance. “Can’t say I’ve seen someone look so hesitant in a long while.”

Jihoon feels a sense of dread wash over him when he gets closer to the male, gulping down his second guesses as he opens his mouth to speak.

“T-to go on land. What… what would I need to--to trade.”

Wonwoo laughs loud enough for it to bounce off of the cave walls, head thrown back in absolute bliss.

“My, my. You sound more serious than the last one who came to ask.” He pauses, swimming down closer to Jihoon who backs away by nature. “You know, people offer me all sorts of things. Riches, jewels, even parts of themselves. All cliché when you think about it. And all things replaceable in theory.”

The twinkle in Wonwoo’s eyes lets Jihoon know he’s going to be in more trouble than he anticipated.

“No… what I want is something irreplaceable. Something that lets me know you really want this.”

Vernon will be missed.

But it was his fault for being so curious, they’ll all say.

He shouldn’t have asked Wonwoo.

He should’ve known better.

Just like Jihoon.

A few days have passed since the last time you see Jihoon and being castle-bound is eating away at you.

The wedding is in five more nightfalls and with each day, you find yourself more and more miserable.

“Miss, please turn to your left. We need to finish your wedding dress before the day is over.” Sighing, you do as told, facing the large mirror where you see the sadness in your eyes.

A sharp knock brings everyone’s attention to the door as one of your hand maids rushes to answer it.

This time it’s Seokmin, one of Jeonghan’s other guards and best friend, at the door. “I’m so sorry to disturb, however we have a guest. A Prince from… the east. Prince Jeonghan would like your company in the grand hall, immediately.”

Confusion crosses your features, but you nod, shooing Seokmin away as you already make efforts to get the heavy fabric off of you. It takes a good few minutes before you’re completely free and redressed in more casual attire and you all but rush down the hall, curious to see who the newcomer is.

The first thing you see is Jeonghan speaking to a slightly shorter male; a tight lipped smile on his face.

He catches you from around the corner, gesturing you forward.

“Ah, here she is. My wife, to-be.” The unknown male turns to face you and you feel your breath caught in your throat.

Jihoon? No…

He shoots you a knowing smile, reaching for your hand as he kisses the back of it. “It’s my pleasure. I’m Prince Jihoon. Of the East.” Your fingers feel clammy in his hold, confusion on your features even when you introduce yourself back to him in a low whisper.

“I can’t say I remember there being a Prince Jihoon from the east. Interesting.” Jeonghan comments. Jihoon chuckles lightly, releasing your hand as he turns to face Jeonghan once more.

“Yes, I’m quite sorry for my sudden arrival. You see, I never really was one for the throne or anything of the sort. No, I’m more into studies and books. However, there’s been a bit of a change in interests lately so I figured I’d come… and see what the world has to offer.” He shoots Jeonghan a smile, eyes forming crescents.

“I also do apologize, but would it be alright if I stayed here a few nights? Just before I head back to my own. I don’t have anywhere to stay and, well, I seem a little under-packed for my journey.”

Jeonghan bites the inside of his cheek, “I… suppose. Actually, our wedding is in five more days. Why don’t you stay until then. See how the town celebrates.”

Jihoon turns to you; a smirk on his lips as his eyes flash a pale pink.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Jihoon stays in the bedroom across the hall from you, just a couple doors down.

You tell Jeonghan you’re not feeling too well and that you’ll be in your bedroom until you finally feel better; but the reality is that you slink off to Jihoon’s room when the coast is clear and the halls are free of Jeonghan’s guards.

You softly knock at his door, whispering his name until he opens the door for you; a giddy smile on his lips.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the princess. To what do I owe this honour?”

“Please, don’t---don’t play this game with me right now. What in heaven’s name is--how are you even here!?” You whisper harshly. Jihoon tugs you into his room, locking the door behind you as he presses you against it.

“I just… wanted to try something, that’s all. I thought you’d be happy to see me.” There’s a tinge of sadness in his voice and you can’t hold back the sigh that floats out past your lips.

“Please, Jihoon, I’m so incredibly happy to see you. It’s just, I---this is a big shock and with the wedding, it’s---and your legs, how---”

Jihoon cuts you off with a kiss, fingertips under your chin as he tilts your head up to meet his.

You immediately melt into the kiss, fingertips tangling into his soft hair.

Were you always attracted to Jihoon like this?

He eats up all of your soft and quiet moans as he presses you harder into the door, slotting a leg between yours just you finally find your senses.

“W--wait, I--no, we--we can’t, Jihoon…” You push him away as gently as you can; a soft pink coating your cheeks. “It’s just that Jeonghan--”

“Please, can we not speak about him.” Jihoon grumbles, stepping away from you as he makes his way towards the bed. “No offense, but it’s quite obvious that neither of you want to be in this marriage anyway. I don’t understand why you keep trying to defend him.”

You stand by the door, eyes fixated on the way Jihoon leans back on the bed. Mental images of you in his lap, naked and in absolute bliss flit through your mind in a split second.

“It’s---it’s not that, it’s just that... “ You’re unsure of what to say next; Jihoon was right in the fact that neither of you were too keen on the marriage but the two of you were also just following orders for the betterment of the kingdoms.

“I’m sorry, I should go, You should rest up, Jihoon. Dinner will be in a few hours.”

You turn to leave, body warm with thoughts you knew you shouldn’t have been having.

Jihoon can sense it too. The way your body craves his.

“I’ll see you later, princess.”

Dinner goes on without any issues, which you’re thankful for and Jeonghan and Jihoon seem to be on alright terms despite Jeonghan’s initial concerns and suspicions.

You retreat back to your room after a walk around the grounds to clear your head, hand on the doorknob of your bedroom when Jihoon comes barreling into your back.

“J--Jihoon, what--”

“Inside, now, sweetheart.”

You shuffle into the bedroom, turning to face Jihoon who turns the lock. “What are you doing?!”

“What we both want.”

A blush coats your cheeks as he walks you back towards the bed; his hands immediately finding purchase on your waist as he sits you down onto it. “Do you think I’m oblivious to what you want?” His voice drops an octave and you feel the arousal starting to pool in your lower half. “I--I---”

“You what, princess? Tell me what you want, what’s going on in that mind of yours.”

You know you shouldn’t, you know you should fall in line with Jeonghan and what your parents say.

But the other part of you just wants to be freed of all your responsibilities and expectations.

So you make a decision, gulping when you wrap a hand around Jihoon’s forearm.

“I want y-you.”

A soft moan floats through the air just as Jihoon sinks the first finger into your warmth, your fingers locking into his hair as his tongue flicks at your clit.

Jihoon knew more than you anticipated.

He smiles against your skin as he leans in closer, flattening his tongue against you as you bite your lip to hold in your noises when he drags the flat of his tongue through your folds.

“Such a shame, princess. I’d love to hear my name rolling off those pretty lips of yours.” He teases; curling his finger into you just right until it grazes against your sweet spot. Your legs clamp tighter around his head instead as Jihoon laughs.

“We’ll have to save it for another time. When we have more privacy, hmm?”

Another time?

Jihoon sucks your clit into his mouth as your hips cant up to meet his movements. He gently adds another fingers after a few more pumps; noting the way your walls tighten around them instinctively. You can feel the pressure building up when he starts to scissor and curl them just right, a shaky cry on your lips.

“Ji--Jihoon, ah, something’s---”

“S’okay, let it happen.” Mumbling, he doubles his effort, tongue flicking at your clit harshly as he works to throw you over the edge.

A choked sob gets caught in your throat when you cum on his fingers and tongue and he works you through it with patience and adoration. He slows down his fingers as you continue to ride your high, tongue still lapping at your clit in slower strokes until your fingers loosen their grip on his hair.

“Everything okay?” Jihoon murmurs, pulling his fingers from inside of you as he pulls away.

“Mm… Mmhmm…”

Jihoon sits up, wrapping his wet digits around his cock as he pumps himself. He smears the precum down his shaft; a soft groan on his lips.

“Do you still want me, princess?”

You nod shakily, watching as he scoots in closer. He runs the head of his cock through your soaking folds as you mewl quietly at the sensitivity your body feels. “If it hurts, just let me know, okay?”

Jihoon’s soft voice is enough for you to relax under his touch and he uses his free hand to wrap your leg around his waist before he positions himself at your entrance. His eyes dance up your torso until they land on your flushed face, grey eyes searching for any sort of hesitance.

“This is your last chance, princess. You can stop me here and we can forget this.”

Your heart pangs in sudden guilt over Jeonghan, but you quickly push it out of your head. There was nothing wrong about this; You wanted him.

“I want you, J-Jihoon…”

He nods at your response, taking a deep breath before he starts to sink his cock into your wet cunt.

There’s a subtle stinging you feel, a whimper on your lips when he only just gets the head of his cock in. “Okay?” He asks, fingertips massaging the skin of your thighs. The momentary pause is enough for some of the stinging to subside so you nod, clammy hands digging into the sheets.

Jihoon lets out a guttural moan, eyes rolling to the back of his head when he bottoms out after a few tense seconds. “Oh, god, you---you feel so good, princess…”

He leans over you, kissing you on the forehead before he leans in to kiss you on the lips; swallowing up your mewls and whimpers as you get used to the feeling of Jihoon’s cock snug between your warm walls.

“Jihoon, please---please move…” Your words are muffled against his lips as he smiles, nodding when he pulls away from you.

Jihoon starts a slow pace at first; skillful hips pistoning into you. He watches you bite your lip when he angles his thrusts in a particular way, smirking when he knows he’s gotten your sweet spot.

“Look at you… So pretty underneath me, where you belong.” He licks his lips, pupils blown wide. “You know I’d do anything for you, right, princess? Just say the word and I’ll give it to you.” His grip on you gets tighter as his fingernails dig into the skin of your thighs.

“Ngh… Ji--Jihoon…” You whimper quietly as your hips cant up to meet his thrusts. “Please, m-more…”

The head of his cock grazes against your g-spot with each thrust and you can’t help the moans that bubble past your lips at the feeling.

Jeonghan momentarily flits through your mind again and Jihoon can sense the way you seem to tense up. He bites the inside of his cheek at this, pulling his cock out of you as confusion crosses your features.

“Jihoon, wh--”

“I want you on your hands and knees for me.” He murmurs; using his strength to flip you onto your stomach.

It takes a second for you to catch your bearings, hands planted on the bed sheets as he tugs your ass closer to himself. He repositions his cock at your entrance, bottoming out in a single thrust as he starts a much quicker pace this time.

In this position, he can fuck you deeper, hips slamming into your ass as you slowly slump down against the sheets.

A sharp knock at the door a few minutes later has you gasping as you reach behind you to try and push Jihoon off. He doesn’t budge, instead, smirks at the way your pussy clenches harder around his cock.

“Princess? It’s me.”

Jeonghan.

Jihoon leans over your back, kissing your shoulder once before whispering in your ear. “You should answer him. Before he gets suspicious.” You clear your throat to the best of your ability, brows furrowed when Jihoon reaches a hand around, fingertips on your clit rubbing soft circles.

“Y-yes, Jeonghan?”

“May I come in? I’d like to speak with you.” Your heart pangs in a way you don’t expect, teeth clenched hard when you feel the pleasure starting to peak again.

“I’m, a-ah, so---so sorry, Jeonghan, I’ve already, hah, d-dressed for bed. M--maybe tomorrow? O--over tea, perhaps?” You shakily offer; hoping that he doesn’t barge his way in.

“Right. Of course, my mistake. It’s quite late. I’ll see you for tea tomorrow then. Sleep well.”

You hear his footsteps just as your second orgasm hits you; body seizing up under Jihoon as he continues to fuck you through it.

“Such a naughty little princess, aren’t you? Laying with someone else while your husband-to-be is on the other side of that door. And not only that, but taking your pleasure from someone else inside of you too? My, my.” He teases, eyes flashing the same pale pink in warning.

He pinches your clit between his fingertips, loving the way your body jolts under his touch. “Ngh… Jihoon I---I can’t…” You whine. Your body feels extremely sensitive now that you’d cum twice, but Jihoon laughs lightly as he pulls out from you yet again.

“You’ve taken your pleasure twice now, princess. But what about me?”

Jihoon flips you over yet again; a sheen of sweat on your body and his.

An idea pops into his head, smiling down at you before he, himself, rests against the pillows next to you. “Get on my lap, princess.”

You shakily get up, swinging a leg over him as you situate yourself on his thighs. He helps guide you, hands on your waist until you’re hovering right above his cock. “Stay like this.” Mumbling, he uses a free hand to guide his cock until it’s right at your entrance again. “Now sink down onto my cock, princess.”

Not really knowing how slow or fast to go, you sink down onto his cock in a single motion; the air knocked out of Jihoon and your lungs when you’re finally completely seated on his cock.

You let out a choked cry at the feeling; oversensitivity biting into you already when he places his hands on your waist again. “Mmh, okay, princess, you’re---you’re gonna raise yourself up and down, okay?” Nodding, you brace your hands on his torso, lifting yourself up and dropping yourself back down onto his cock.

The two of you share a moan as you fall into a rhythm; Jihoon planting his feet down flat onto the sheets as his hips cant up to meet your movements. You alternate bouncing on his lap and swiveling your hips, testing different ways and seeing how he reacts.

Jihoon feels his abdomen tightening as he finally feels his orgasm coming, a soft growl on his lips.

“P--princess, I’m---I’m so close.” He whispers harshly, eyes slamming shut as he chases his high. “Touch yourself for me. I want you to feel good with me one more time.”

“J--Jihoon I---I c-can’t…”

“Oh but you can, sweetheart. I can feel you already close again too.” He teases.

Jihoon takes one of your hands from his chest, bringing it to your clit as you blush. “Right here. Make yourself feel good too.” His voice is soft yet alluring and enough for you to slowly rub circles around your swollen clit. You immediately let out a cry, letting Jihoon take the reins again as he fucks up into you.

“Together, princess, with me.”

This time when you cum a few perfectly angled thrusts later, Jihoon does too; hips stuttering and a sultry moan on his lips. Your vision is blurry, tears wetting your eyelashes as you slump over into Jihoon’s chest.

Your entire body shakes; fingertips numb as you let out soft cries against his warm skin. “Jihoon…”

The two of you stay in that position for a while longer and his heartbeat is enough to lull you into a soft slumber, eyes finally welcoming sleep as your tired body lays on top of him.

“That’s right, princess. Go to sleep. You’re tired, aren’t you?” You nod gently, unaware of the way Jihoon smirks down at your head.

“I’ll get you cleaned up and make sure nobody sees you like this.”

You smile gently, warm and sated as you let the sleep take over.

When you wake, the warm sun filters through the curtains.

A smile graces your lips as you blink your sleepy eyes open and something immediately feels off.

This… isn’t my bed?

Your brows furrow in confusion as your vision focuses, taking in your surroundings as you sit up. “Where---where am I?” Mumbling softly, you move to take the covers off of you, noticing immediately that your left leg is bound to the bedpost.

Panic floods your senses; a cold sweat down your temple as you tug on it harshly. “Jihoon!? Jeonghan!? Hello!?”

“Oh, sweetheart, I wouldn’t yell so loudly if I were you. You’ll only hurt your throat.”

Jihoon enters the room with a small tray in hand, placing it on a nearby table as he sits by you on the bed. He shoots you a warm smile; grey eyes permanently a soft pinkish hue.

“Jihoon, where----where is this? Where are we?”

“Oh, that Wonwoo. You know, I traded a great deal to be here with you. But he’s just so selfish.” There’s a soft chuckle on his lips as he shakes his head in thought. “I traded him a life for a week on land. But it’s not enough, you know? He wanted more so I gladly let him have two more for a little bit more time. A month! Can you believe it?”

“J--Jihoon, pl--please, this---why---”

“But don’t worry. I couldn’t kill the Prince. No, no, no even I am not that cruel. But those bodyguards of his… Tsk, such a handful those two. They saw me leaving with you and, my, well… Wonwoo does like a good trade.”

His soft laugh is sweeter than a siren’s call; genuine happiness lacing each second.

“But---but what if they c-come looking f--for me? And---And you know they w-will, Jihoon...”

Jihoon smiles, eyes hollow as he stares out of the window.

He’d already thought of every escape plan in the book.

“Oh my, well… Wonwoo will just have to keep giving me more time with the amount of bodies that will pile up outside of our castle, princess. Don’t you worry your little head.”

“Hey, did you hear about what happened at the castle this morning?”

“Not at all. Do tell!”

“They said they found Prince Jeonghan poisoned! And his bodyguards were found dead in the grand hall!”

“Dead!?”

“Yes! Dead! They’re unsure whether or not the prince will wake… As of right now there’s no suspects or even any hint of who could’ve done it! But the poor princess…”

“What happened to her? Is she alright?”

“Nobody knows. She seems to have been taken, the poor soul. Not a single trace of her existence was left at the castle. It’s like she never existed.”

#woozi smut #yandere!woozi #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #woozi scenarios #woozi imagines #jihoon smut #merman!au #merman!woozi #yandere!svt #woozi #jihoon #monstermash!svt

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lostinfantasyworlds · 3 years

Text

Words: ~4,200

Cw for some descriptions of the pain of childbirth.

Includes my drawing of Inuyasha and baby Moroha later on in the story! (I will also post separately).

Read on AO3

A/N at the end.

------------------------------

The first of the evening’s stars twinkled against a darkening sky above Kaede’s hut, where Kagome lay inside, deep in the throes of labor. The initial pangs of discomfort had begun shortly after daybreak that morning, the recent sunset marking thirteen hours since then. Now well into active labor, Kagome braced herself for yet another painful contraction. She groaned before clenching her jaw tightly shut, feeling the muscles within her lower abdomen begin to tense.

The fingers of her right hand were laced firmly through her husband’s, who sat diligently at her side. She squeezed Inuyasha’s hand with all her strength, grateful that she could do so without hurting him too much.

Although it was not traditional for the father to be allowed in the birthing hut, a (reluctant) exception had been made for Inuyasha. Kagome recalled the earlier scene in an effort to distract herself from the building pain.

“Kaede!” Inuyasha called out as he burst through the entrance of Kaede’s hut, carrying Kagome in his arms.

Kaede made a sound of annoyance as she finished making her tea, her back turned towards the couple. Her lack of surprise suggested that she had sensed the half-demon’s aura approaching. “What are ye making such a fuss about, Inuyasha?”

“Kaede, the baby’s coming!” Kagome said through labored breaths. Kaede finally turned around to see Kagome in Inuyasha’s arms, one hand on her swollen belly and her face screwed up in pain. Her face softened as she realized the reason for the sudden intrusion.

“Ah, yes. Good, good,” Kaede said calmly and set her tea down to begin preparing the futon for Kagome to lay on.

She moved slowly in her old age, and after a few minutes when Kagome cried out again, Inuyasha growled and snapped, “Would ya move it along? Kagome needs somewhere to lay down right fucking now!”

Kaede shot him a one-eyed glare as she finished placing the last pillow. She gestured to the futon, indicating that it was ready for Kagome to lay down on.

Inuyasha lay Kagome down on the futon ever so gently, making sure she was as comfortable as possible given the circumstances. Once he was sure she was taken care of, he settled onto the floor himself, sitting cross-legged by her side.

“What do ye think you’re doing?” Kaede asked as she grabbed a clean birthing robe and water bucket from a storage chest in the corner. “Fathers are not allowed in the birthing hut, Inuyasha. It is time for ye to leave.”

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles in response, holding up his claws menacingly. “You gonna make me, old hag? There’s no way in hell I’m leaving Kagome right now!”

Kaede’s tolerance for Inuyasha’s rudeness was already running thin. “How dare ye threaten me in my own home! It is bad luck for the father to - “

She was cut off by Kagome, who had just finished breathing through her latest contraction. “Kaede, please, I want him to stay. I need him here with me.”

Kaede considered her request, ultimately deciding it would be less hassle for her to just allow the exception. She nodded slightly before turning away and sighing, preparing herself for a long night ahead with a stressed and overprotective Inuyasha.

Kagome looked up at Inuyasha, who smiled slightly, seemingly relieved that she wanted him to stay. She reached out and took his hand, intertwining their fingers. She returned his smile with a warm one of her own, before abruptly dropping it and replacing it with a glare.

“I want you here with me, but if you are rude to Kaede one more time, I will not hesitate to kick you out. Now apologize!” She gave him a look that made his ears flatten against his head.

“Fine, whatever. Sorry, Kaede,” he grumbled almost inaudibly. Kagome rolled her eyes at his immaturity, but was still thankful that he would be by her side as they welcomed their child into the world.

Kagome was brought back to the present as her contraction peaked. Her muscles tensed impossibly harder, causing her to let out a cry of agony and squeeze her eyes shut. This was the worst and longest one so far. It was so intense that all rational thought was wiped from her mind as her vision went momentarily white. Unable to comprehend anything beyond her overwhelming desire for the pain to stop, she squeezed Inuyasha’s hand with a force that probably would have broken a regular human’s hand.

She did her best to try and breathe deeply until her body mercifully began to grant her relief. Chest heaving and limbs shaking, she savored the brief respite, knowing that she didn’t have much time to prepare for the next contraction. They were only a minute or two apart now, and she instinctively knew that their baby was very close to making its arrival.

She felt the comforting coolness of a damp cloth dab the sweat from her forehead, and looked gratefully to her left where Sango knelt beside her. Sango gave her an empathetic, encouraging smile. She had happily volunteered to assist Kagome with the birth of her child, both as an excited aunt-to-be, and as part of her midwife training.

Kaede’s strength continued to wane in her old age, and Rin had decided to spend some time traveling with Sesshomaru again to see if she still preferred that lifestyle over living with other humans. Not wanting to risk leaving the village without a midwife, Kaede had asked Sango and Kagome if they would be willing to undergo training so they could assist with births if the need arose. Although Sango was incredibly busy with her ever-growing family and occasional demon slaying whenever she got the chance, she jumped at the opportunity to give back to the village that she had made her home for the last seven years. As a mother of five children of her own, she had plenty of experience and advice to offer new moms.

Sango put a comforting hand on Kagome’s shoulder, remembering the excruciating pain of childbirth all too well. “You’re doing great, Kagome. Let me check on your progress.” She moved down between Kagome’s legs to determine how much farther she had to go. Kaede had taught her several methods of determining the baby’s position at any given point during labor. She hoped, for Kagome’s sake, that she was nearing the end.

“Good news, Kagome, you’re almost there! When the next contraction comes, you can start pushing,” Sango said, moving back to Kagome’s side down by her feet.

Kagome nodded slightly, closing her eyes and taking a few more deep breaths to try and prepare herself. Her heart was pounding, her hands were shaking, and a layer of sweat coated her entire body. She had never experienced so much pain, not from any of the injuries she had sustained during their countless battles. Even having the Shikon jewel torn out of her body was nothing compared to this. She had to keep fighting down waves of nausea as the contractions had become more and more agonizing.

She was already exhausted, already past her limit of pain tolerance, and the thought of pushing sent her into a panic. How much worse is this going to get? What if I can’t do this? What if the pain kills me? Maybe I wasn’t ready to be a mother! I’m not strong enough…

Terrifying cynical thoughts raced through her mind as her heart pounded against her ribcage, her breaths becoming more shallow.

“I’m scared,” she admitted quietly, to no one in particular. She kept her eyes closed, feeling weak and ashamed. She had been looking forward to being a mother for so long, so why was she suddenly so afraid?

“I don’t think I can do this,” she whispered, her voice breaking. A few tears slipped out from under her shut eyelids and rolled down her flushed cheeks. She felt like she was on the brink of a complete breakdown.

“Yes you can. What you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal, Kagome,” Sango said soothingly.

Kagome slowly opened her eyes at the sound of her friend’s voice.

“Every mother feels the same way at this point, I promise. This last part isn’t going to be easy, but it doesn’t last too long, and then it will all be over and you’ll be holding your baby in your arms. When you look into their eyes for the first time, you’ll forget all about everything else, trust me.”

Kagome smiled down at her, thankful for the reassurance from someone who had been through this before. She then looked up to her husband who was still holding her hand and sitting cross-legged at her side. Her gaze was met with golden eyes full of concern.

Inuyasha was overwhelmed. There were so many sounds, so many smells, so many emotions. He had done his best to try and prepare himself for this day, but he had to admit that he was in over his head. It was killing him to see Kagome in so much agony, especially when there was nothing he could do about it. His instincts to protect her flooded through him with every cry of pain she let out, followed by the frustration of not being able to help. It was driving him crazy that all he could do was hold her hand and offer her words of encouragement every so often.

He had kept relatively quiet since his earlier threat to Kaede, afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting Kagome. He was completely out of his element, having never witnessed a birth before. He had no idea what to do or say, or what was considered normal. All he knew was that he wanted to be by his wife’s side, and that she wanted him there as well. Now, as she looked into his eyes after voicing her fear, he knew he had to be strong for her.

“You can do this, Kagome!” he said fervently. Hearing her say she didn’t think she could do it had made him want to scoff and call her an idiot, but he figured that wouldn’t be very helpful and might even earn him a ‘sit’ command in her current state. The idea of her not being able to do this was ludicrous to him. He had been watching her in awe all day, amazed by her strength and resilience. Since they first met, she had always been a fighter, never backing down or giving up when faced with a challenge. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

He brought his free hand up to her cheek to gently wipe some of her tears and sweat away, letting his fingers linger on her face for a moment.

“You’re so strong, you always have been,” he said, bringing his hand back down to grip hers between both of his own. He stared deeply into her wide brown eyes, trying to wordlessly communicate the neverending love and respect he had for her. “And I’m right here beside you.”

Kagome could feel her panic melting away at his words and the look in his eyes. She smiled a little at him before looking forward with a newly determined look on her face. That’s right, Inuyasha is with me. I can do anything with him by my side.

She felt the pain building again, but it was different from before. Somehow sharper and duller at the same time. She knew this was the final stretch she had to get through to meet their little one, so she gathered all the strength and courage she had left.

The pain of pushing was almost unbearable, but she did her best to remain focused on the steady pressure of Inuyasha’s hand and the guidance given by Kaede and Sango. She felt every sensation in her body, her instincts kicking in to guide her through the final stage of delivery.

Over forty excruciating minutes later, a cry finally rang through the cabin, alerting all those in the area to the arrival of a new life. Kagome breathed a huge sigh of relief and fell back against the pillows. Kaede caught the crying baby and carried it over to the water basin to be bathed. Sango cut the cord and helped clean Kagome up enough so that she could comfortably lay her legs flat again.

Kagome lay exhausted, trying to catch her breath and calm her racing heart. The cries of her baby echoed through the cabin, filling her with a euphoric pride. She had loved their child from the moment she knew of their existence. It felt like so long ago that she first found out she was pregnant. She could still remember the rush of pure joy she felt at the news. Finally, after so much wondering and planning and waiting, she was about to meet the one she already adored more than anything in the world.

After giving her a few moments to catch her breath, Inuyasha helped support Kagome as Sango stuffed a couple pillows under her back so that she could sit up more. Once she was sure of Kagome’s comfort, Sango got to her feet and said, “I’m going to give you some privacy. You did so well Kagome.” She smiled warmly down at her friend, and then shifted her gaze to Inuyasha. “I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.” Both returned her smile, and Kagome reached out to take Sango’s hand.

“Thank you so much for everything, Sango. It really helped to have you here.”

Sango squeezed her hand. “Anything for my dearest friend. We’ll all come visit in the morning once you’ve had some time to rest.” She released Kagome’s hand and walked out of the hut to give a full report to Miroku and Shippo, who were waiting at home with her own children.

As Sango walked out of the entryway, Kagome lifted her head up to anxiously look around for her baby, who was no longer crying. Her eyes found Kaede, who was wrapping the newborn loosely in a blanket. Her heart fluttered with nervous anticipation as Kaede slowly made her way over to her and Inuyasha, carrying their new addition in her arms.

“Congratulations Kagome and Inuyasha, it is time to meet your daughter,” she said with a smile.

At the word ‘daughter,’ Inuyasha and Kagome’s eyes met, both of their mouths dropping open slightly. Their daughter.

Kaede handed the tiny bundle off to Kagome, who reached out instinctively. As soon as the child was securely in Kagome’s arms, Kaede made her way outside to let them have their first moments as a family in private.

A peaceful silence settled over the hut as Kagome held their baby close to her chest and stared in awe. Inuyasha moved closer to her, draping an arm over her shoulders. Kagome was overcome with emotion, an overwhelming feeling of love and warmth taking over every ounce of her being. She was still exhausted and in pain, and somewhere in her brain there was a terrifying, nagging reminder that she was now responsible for protecting this tiny being, but it all felt like dull background noise compared to the warmth that emanated from her chest as she marveled in the presence of her daughter.

“Inuyasha...she’s....” she trailed off quietly, unable to quite find the words.

“...Perfect.” Inuyasha finished for her in a dazed tone. He couldn’t stop staring at the face of the life they had created. He had pictured the arrival of their baby many times in the months since they found out they were expecting, but he could never have imagined what he was feeling now. It was surreal and overwhelming to finally come face-to-face with the child who had only been an abstract concept in his mind until a few minutes ago.

He had struggled with the idea of becoming a father. Despite his excitement to start a family with the person he loved most in this world, he had trouble imagining himself in that role. Questions such as What if I ruin our kid’s life? What if something happens to them? Or to Kagome? How am I supposed to know what to do with a baby? had kept him awake countless nights over the last several months. Not to mention how much time he had spent worrying over Kagome. He’d had a hard time leaving her alone for more than five minutes during her entire pregnancy, constantly afraid that something could happen to her or the baby.

It was the worst on his human nights, the negative thoughts hijacking his mind and taking hold until he could think of little else. What if something attacks us when I’m in my human form and I can’t protect them? What if I’m not a good enough father and Kagome resents me? What if our kid grows up facing the same kind of discrimination I did for being part demon and part human? The questions became impossible to ignore on those nights, a couple times bubbling up to the point where his heart raced and his breath became shallow. He usually tried his best to hide his fears from Kagome, not wanting to cause her any extra stress, but those few times, it was too hard to pretend nothing was wrong.

Kagome would try to comfort him. She would whisper reassurances into his ears. That she loved him and believed in him. That their child would be well cared for no matter what. That he would be an amazing father. She would look at him with such love and trust and warmth that he was almost able to believe that he was the person she saw him as. But it was hard to forget a lifetime of being told he was worthless, an abomination. It was hard to forget all of the awful things he had said and done in his past. How could he ever be a role model to a child? What if he had doomed them to the same lonely life of an outcast that he had?

Witnessing Kagome’s excitement to be a mother was the only thing that kept him from drowning in his anxiety. Although he didn’t know if he was cut out to be a father, he was positive that Kagome was meant to be a mother. She had always been the caring and nurturing type, and the joy she had to finally fill the role of a mother had radiated from her throughout her entire pregnancy.

Whenever Inuyasha felt overwhelmed with doubts, he would just watch his wife tenderly rest her hands on her rounded belly, or listen to her hum lullabies to their unborn baby. In those moments, he knew that at least their child would have Kagome as their mother, and that even if he fell short, she would always be there to provide them with the care and support they needed. He vowed to match her as best as he could, all the while feeling terrified of letting her down.

Lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed that Kagome was looking at him. She seemed to sense his inner turmoil and asked, “Do you want to hold her?” with a sweet smile.

“Uh..” Inuyasha responded stupidly, but Kagome had already extended their child towards him.

“Just remember to support her head and you’ll be fine.”

Inuyasha took the tiny bundle ever so carefully, as if she might shatter into a thousand pieces at his touch. He slowly adjusted her position so that her head rested in the crook of his elbow and she was fully supported by his arm. He stared at her for a long minute, still unable to make sense of everything he was feeling. How could he have helped create such an incredible little human? How could he ever be a good enough father to her? She was so tiny and fragile, what if he hurt her by accident? Protecting Kagome was already stressful, but at least he knew she could handle herself in a battle. How in the world was he supposed to protect someone so small defenseless? He tried not to think about all the dangers of the world around them.

To distract from his racing thoughts, he focused on cataloging everything about her. The little tuft of jet black hair on the top of her head, her barely open chocolate brown eyes that looked so like Kagome’s, her tiny nose and mouth. Although she hadn’t inherited his eye or hair color, or his dog ears, the shape of her features still resembled his own. She was truly a perfect blend of the two of them. He inhaled and memorized her scent. It was similar to Kagome’s, with hints of his own scent, but distinct in its own way.

Inuyasha cautiously extended one finger from his free hand to gently stroke her cheek, being mindful of his claws. Her skin was softer than the finest silk. He had never felt anything quite like it. He moved to pull away, feeling unworthy to touch her with his rough, calloused hands. At the same time, a chubby fist escaped the confines of the blanket surrounding it and waved blindly through the air. Tiny fingers found his retreating hand, and instinctively wrapped around his outstretched pointer finger.

With a sharp intake of breath Inuyasha froze, suddenly hit with a surge of emotion so strong he could hardly breathe. His daughter gurgled and looked up at him, gripping his finger with surprising strength for a newborn. A soothing warmth began to spread from the point of contact throughout his whole body, almost reminding him of the sensation of being purified by Kagome’s spiritual powers. But this was something else, something deeper and more profound.

Something shifted deep within himself as he felt her tiny fingers grip his own. Every priority, every feeling, every want and need he had ever had was rearranging, placing his daughter at the center of it all. The moment that she had touched him, he was forever changed. His rough edges softened just a bit, his heart grew a little larger. The world and his place in it made a little more sense. All of the doubts and insecurities he had about being a father faded to the background. He knew now that he would do absolutely anything for the little girl in his arms.

A type of love he never knew existed rushed through him, seeping into every last crevice of his soul. It was all-consuming and indescribable. He felt as if he was staring into the sun itself, her radiant light giving him warmth and life in ways he hadn’t known he needed. All of the pain he had gone through in his life now felt worth it to be able to experience this moment. He would do it a thousand times over again as long as he got to meet her. He had known for a long time that he was born to be with Kagome, but now he knew he was born to meet his daughter as well.

He let out the smallest of laughs, breathy and awestruck. After several more moments, he finally managed to tear his eyes away from her to look up at Kagome, who had been watching the heartwarming scene unfold. His mouth still hung agape, and as his eyes met Kagome’s, he felt a single tear roll down his cheek. The sensation surprised him, having never shed tears of joy before. He hadn’t even noticed the wetness building in his eyes. As he looked at his wife, he noticed that tears were silently falling down her cheeks as well, though she wore a beaming smile.

The familiar sight of Kagome’s smile made his heart swell with even more warmth. It hardly felt real that, after all the heartache and loneliness that he had endured in his life, he was here looking into the eyes of his wife and holding his daughter in his arms. He wanted to tell her how much he loves her, how thankful he was to be able to share this moment with her. He wished he had the words to explain what it meant to him to have a family of his own.

“Kagome...” he said quietly, trying to think of something else to say. How could he ever put into words everything he had just felt?

“Inuyasha,” Kagome responded warmly in a way that told him no words were needed. They had always had a quiet understanding between them, their love for each other much deeper than words could ever hope to describe. It was something he was eternally grateful for. With a smile, Kagome reached out to cover her husband and daughter’s joined hands with her own.

Her eyes drifted back down to their beloved child, and after a few moments of contemplation she asked, “Moroha?”

Inuyasha wasn’t sure where she got the name, but it didn’t matter to him. It fit her perfectly.

“Moroha,” he repeated, confirming her name.

Inuyasha rested his forehead against Kagome’s as they continued to gaze down at their daughter. He knew his fears hadn’t disappeared completely, but there would be time to worry later. For now, he simply let himself bask in the glowing happiness of this perfect moment with his family.

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A/N (sorry it’s so long)

Hope you enjoyed the feels! I’ve been working on this for a while now, so I’m really excited to finally post it! I had originally wanted to post it before the premiere of Yashahime, but I kept nitpicking and editing it over and over. Plus I decided to add the drawing which took me forever. I also went all out and made the banner and everything, which I’m not sure if people usually do for oneshots but oh well!

This all started with me imagining that one moment of a newborn Moroha grabbing Inuyasha’s finger, and that being the moment that moved him and changed him forever. I could see him being really nervous and unsure about becoming a father, but I liked the idea of her touch causing a shift in him and basically turning him into a puddle of mush. I hope it isn’t too OOC for Inuyasha to cry at this moment, but I thought if anything would have the power to make him shed tears of joy then this would be it. Plus I saw it as kind of an involuntary bodily reaction to all of the emotion he experienced.

I tried to throw in some of Kagome’s POV, but I mostly wanted to explore Inuyasha’s conflicted thoughts and feelings about becoming a father. I hope the descriptions of pain/birth weren’t too much. I have never gone through childbirth, but it sounds ridiculously painful and terrifying so I was probably projecting a bit haha. Kagome is a badass for dealing with all of that with no drugs!

I tried to look up real stories of how people felt when they saw their baby for the first time. There were a lot of mixed reactions, with a lot of people saying they just felt really scared or didn’t have a strong emotional reaction. This is a fic so of course I wanted it to be emotional and happy, but I tried to mix in some of the fear they must have felt also.

I didn’t want it to seem like Kagome’s strength only came from Inuyasha being there with her, but from what I read about active labor, the pain at that point can be extremely mentally and physically taxing, so I wanted her to have a moment of weakness where she felt like she wasn’t strong enough. And I always loved that Kagome and Inuyasha draw strength from each other in different ways. So I felt like she would have been able to tap into that from having him by her side.

Also, in regards to Sango and Miroku having 5 children, I find it hard to believe that they would have stopped at 3 considering how much Miroku talked about wanting to have 10 + kids lol. So that was just a little canon divergence I threw in there. This takes place about 4 years after Kagome returns to the feudal era for good.

Anyways, I could ramble forever and over explain everything as I tend to do, but I wanted to get this out there before we see baby Moroha in Yashahime this week. I’m so excited!

#inukag #inuyasha #moroha #hanyou no yashahime #kagome #hanyo no yashahime #fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #fanart #mine #oneshot

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goldlightsaber · 3 years

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No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men doesn't really need my praise, given that it won the Academy Award for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actor and several other awards. But I'm here to give it anyway! It is truly a work of art. Over a decade old and it has stood the test of time as a gripping thriller. Warning: this review is a bit all over the place, but I covered the bits I liked best!

The Big Bad

Javier Bardem. Where do I begin with him? I could watch this man clean up gunshot wounds in a cheap motel room for hours. It was so fascinating to see him work -- even if a lot of that work was brutal, cold-blooded, psychopathic murder. Watching him was like watching a true crime documentary. He felt real and chilled me to the core.

I commend the script for all its cleverness, but especially the intentionality behind Anton Chigurh's dialogue. I have never seen more unusual, rhythmic dialogue. What stuck in my head was his relentless way of asking questions. "Where does he work?" he asks the trailer park management lady. She tells him she can't tell him. Again, he asks, "Where does he work?" She tells him again, more firmly, that she can't reveal the information. In the same monotone, he asks for a third time, "Where does he work?" He puts on no charm. He does not bribe or threaten. He asks questions straight. He disguises himself as --but does not claim to be-- something he's not. He pretends to be a cop; a man stranded on the road; a hotel guess. People believe what he only appears to be. They make something of him, something recognizable, so that they know how to interact with him. Except slowly, through dialogue, he reveals to them his true, sadistic nature. And no one wants to believe it. Often the people he speaks with are dumbfounded, stammering out "Sir?" and "I don't understand." It doesn't dawn on them until its too late that he is someone they should run from. It's ironic, really. The goodwill and trust of other people is his bread and butter -- it's what allows him to extract information without force (at least at first) and to obtain all the resources he needs. There's a Southern hospitality theme that runs throughout. Many of the Texans he runs into offer him help -- little do they know that, with Anton Chigurh, it will likely cost them their lives. Everyone is a means to an end unless they are the end -- the person he means to kill.

Don't even get me started on his weapon of choice. It looks like he's carrying around an oxygen tank. It even gives him a misleading look of frailty -- like he might be using it to survive despite it not being attached to his person. If he was carrying around a gun, people might run in the other direction. But, seeing a captive bolt stunner, people are often just confused (I had to look up what it was called) -- and that's part of his genius too.

Yet he's tone deaf. He is easily irritated by small talk, seeming not to understand its point (award for most extreme introvert like, ever?). He nearly killed a gas station worker seemingly because of the small talk. A hint at his disturbed, unusual mind. As I mentioned earlier, he always cuts to the chase -- no fluff. He will get what he needs now, or else. Unless you're lucky and the coin toss flips in your favor. Or there are too many witnesses nearby. But rest assured -- there is no escaping this man. As Woody Harrelson's character, Wills, asks Llewelyn: "You've seen him, and you're not dead?"

Subverting Expectations

With a crime movie, you hope the good guy lives and the cops catch the killers, or that at least one of the two things happen. Nope! Not that simple with a Coen brothers film. Llewelyn is a law-breaking and a "street smart" guy but has a golden heart. He's empathetic (like when the "agua" man hung over his conscience) and only shoots people when he needs to -- Anton Chigurh is his foil, in that sense. Even though his resourcefulness and quick thinking gets him out of trouble for the majority of the film, he is suddenly killed by the Mexican cartel. We don't see it happen, we only see the drug dealers fleeing the scene and the aftermath. It comes minutes after a flirty motel patron tells Llewelyn that, whatever is coming, Llewelyn will never see it coming. And he doesn't. And neither does the audience, for that matter. With Llewelyn seemingly gearing up to fight Chigurh, I expected the two of them to have a showdown over the money. Llewelyn's death was sudden and abrupt. He didn't go out with guns blazing. He didn't get to showcase his strength. For all the times he has healed from injuries, Llewelyn--likable, honorable--still dies.

The sheriff retires -- he doesn't manage to track down Chigurh or anyone else for that matter. To him, Chigurh is a "ghost." The sheriff, at the end of the movie, describes himself as "ummatched," and that is underwhelming too. You fully expect -- or I did, based on previous crime thriller movies-- for some sort of justice to be served, for someone to be caught and locked away, but Chigurh is alive and free at the end of the movie and so are all the anonymous players of the drug cartels working these deals. There was no justice. Not for Llewelyn, not for his wife, not for all the collateral damage.

A Brilliant Script

Speaking of Llewelyn's wife! I loved her last show of defiance in the face of Chigurh. She was shocked but not surprised. Surely, his appearance scared her, but she knew death was coming for her -- and she didn't give Chigurh the liberty of making her death her responsibility. He was fully accountable -- and she made that clear. Was it a foolish choice? I don't know. It did leave me thinking for a while -- what would I do in the situation? The coin toss is the greatest mercy Chigurh is capable of bestowing on anyone. He is a Harvey Dent without a grudge. She chooses not to participate in the game and he kills her. I asked myself: were I in that situation, would I have chosen not to play? There were two options: she plays and has a 50% chance of living. She doesn't play, and she will, for certain, die. She chooses the latter. Is that bravery? I think so. It's certainly strength of character. She is principled in a wholly other way than Chigurh. I feel that I would have wanted to "call it" -- give myself a chance at living. But even that phrasing is misleading. No matter the "choice," Chigurh is the real judge, jury and executioner. And he chooses to kill. Always.

When he exits Carla Jean's house, I found myself wondering what had happened. In the first few seconds of the scene, it isn't yet clear whether he killed her. What follows is one of the more brilliant, subtle moments of the film: Chigurh checks the bottoms of his shoes. We know from an earlier scene that he takes care to keep them clean from the carnage of his crimes, and so, we also know he was checking to see if Carla Jean's blood had spilt on them. He murdered her.

The Ending

I have not yet uncovered the symbolic significance of the car crash, but I can try to take a guess. The car crash brutally injures Chigurh, breaking his arm and God knows what else. It is a random accident, not someone intentionally trying to kill him. Two boys who were riding their bikes behind him approaching Chigurh, who is sitting on the sidewalk, seriously injured. The boys offer him help only out of goodwill. But then he offers them money for one of their shirts, which they initially reject until he insists they take it. Is the symbolism in that? Of yet-uncorrupted youth starkly contrasted with his total evil? In offering them a large sum of money, is he corrupting them to think of life transactionally? As he walks away, the boys argue about splitting the money and he is no longer their concern -- greed is on their mind but only because he brought up money in the first place. (I feel like I cheated on this one because I read somewhere how the movie is about the rising forces of evil in the world that are hard to defeat -- hence the sheriff is unable to defeat them). Will this start them down the path of chasing money and power? Who knows. Maybe.

Overall: a movie I couldn't look away from except to run to the bathroom. I could watch hours of Javier Bardem in this role just sitting. Or eating. But preferably treating his own wounds.

Watch if: you're a fan of Ozark (TV show); or Fargo (movie or TV show).

#no country for old men #the coen brothers #javier bardem #my love <3 #josh brolin #tommy lee jones #kelly macdonald #film #text #i decided to cheer myself up by writing a movie review so HERE #i guess i only do these for movies i like lol #need to watch some shitty films #I ALMOST FORGOT THE PICTURES

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bitoffairydust · 3 years

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Yesterday we came home from the hospital as a family of three.

Things haven’t been super smooth sailing, nor did I expect them to be, but our little one is doing well and I’m healing fine so that’s really all we could ask for.

Wednesday was a bit of a whirlwind. I was scheduled to go into the hospital for my induction at 5, so we spent the morning doing a bit of last minute clean up around the place. Then around 12, someone from L&D called and said if we were available to come in earlier, we could just show up whenever. We still had a few things to finish up so we had lunch, I took a shower while my wife did the dishes, then she took a shower and got the cats set up for a few days home alone before we called an Uber to head to the hospital.

We got there around 3:30-4 so not super early but they got us into the delivery rooms right away and someone came over to go over a few questions (medical stuff and what I was hoping for with the birth). I got hooked up to the contraction and fetal heartbeat monitors, they got my IV line in, and then we went over the induction options for me. Based on my last check up, I was about 1.5 cm dilated, so before anything else they had to get me to about 3 cm, which they offered to do with either the foley balloon or misoprostol. Then the plan was to start me on oxytocin to get contractions going. I requested the miso, cause I figured there would be enough things going in and out of my vagina for the evening without an additional thing thrown in there 😅

It actually took a little while for the induction to start because as it turns out, three people (myself included) showed up for their induction within 5 minutes of each other and I was the last so it was closer to 7 before the resident came to examine me. In doing so they found I had actually progressed to 3 cm on my own since my last appointment so they were able to just get me started up on oxytocin.

Contractions started up pretty much instantly but they were very manageable. I’d say just from the oxy progression, the worst contraction I got was maybe a 5 on the scale from 1 to 10. Then they ran through the dosage and did another exam to see where I was at. They didn’t give an exact number then but I think it was somewhere between 4 and 5 cm. Before starting me up on another dosage of oxytocin, they went ahead and tried to break my water as it hadn’t yet. They didn’t actually manage to fully get it, and honestly, at that point, them trying to get it to break was actually more painful than the contractions I’d experienced that far.

That changed pretty fast once they established they’d gotten enough of the membranes for the time being. I’m fuzzy on the timeline but I think it must have been close to 10 at that point, and the pain level climbed very quickly along with contraction intensity and frequency. I tried to bounce on a ball for a bit and the nurse showed my wife some pressure points to try and help with the pain but it did nothing. Around 10:30 I requested the epidural, which was unfortunate timing on my part as the anesthesiologist had just gone in to assist with a c-section. By the time she was out and got to my room it was about 11:30 and pain was an easy 10 on the scale with contractions maybe a minute and a half apart.

The epidural itself went in pretty smoothly but at first there wasn’t much to be said for relief. Since they mentioned it could take 15 minutes to really be felt I didn’t think much of it, and I did feel like things were getting a bit better as minutes passed. The last contraction I was asked about felt more back down to a 5 on the pain scale so the anesthesiologist left. Unfortunately, that 5 turned out to be a fluke because pain shot back up pretty quickly and I was soon at a 10 again, no matter the dosage boosts.

That part was quite honestly the worst of it all, having expected some sort of relief and finding it to be just as worse as before. To make it worse, baby was not handling those contractions well. His heart beat would drop with the start of each contraction, though it picked up before the end of them so though they wanted to keep an eye on it it wasn’t cause for intervention yet. The nurse monitored his heart rate with me laying flat on my back, on my right side, on my left side and then sitting straight up. The latter was the slightly better option for him, but definitely did nothing to help my pain management. She did get me back on my back to try and relieve me a bit since the difference to the effect on baby wasn’t huge but at that point contractions were relentless. I was dealing with back labor contractions, which were maybe a minute apart, and because they suspected the placenta had detached a bit when they tried to break my water, when a contraction would subside, the pain in my abdomen would become more prominent and almost to the same level. It made it feel like I was contracting non stop with no break for catching my breath or trying to recuperate.

Around 2 in the morning there were a few people in the room examining me and trying to figure out the best course of action. A C-section being needed started being mentioned if things didn’t improve, but I was at a little more than 9 cm by then. The OB and the anesthesiologist had a talk outside the room and decided to re-do my epidural as it had clearly failed (they did an ice test and it was clear I wasn’t frozen anywhere at all), and if I were to end up needing a c-section, I’d have to have it redone anyway.

She took two tries to get everything situated in my back. That second try did the trick. I don’t think I can even describe the amount of relief when my foot started feeling warm and then going numb, and within maybe 5 minutes it was amazingly painless. They did another ice test and this time I felt no cold at all anywhere, and when the nurse pointed out I’d just had a contraction it cemented it because I’d not felt it at all. The only thing I could feel at that point was a bit of abdominal pressure every now and then. And I will say, I did have a great team with me. Everyone was very empathetic and trying their best to get me to feel some form of relief before the second epidural. And they seemed almost as relieved as me when that last one finally worked - especially because after that baby’s heart stabilized.

By the time the epidural was done, even though they figured I had likely progressed to 10 cm, they elected to let me rest for a bit, and give baby a chance to keep making his way down, so I got to catch a breather until about 4 am. Then they told me it was time to try and start pushing, with the nurse guiding me since I still couldn’t feel any sort of contraction. I pushed through maybe four or five contractions without huge progress, and the OB came in to assess and established baby needed a bit of help coming out. They set up the forceps and had me push through another couple of contractions, but they were pretty week and hard to catch even for the nurse by then, and baby’s heart rate was starting to struggle again. So they got on the phone to get a room prepped for c-section, and the doctor told me I would get to push through one last contraction, but if nothing happened we’d have to go into surgery.

The nurse tried to wait for a good one (she had already reupped the oxytocin drip at that point) and by some miracle, the next push for his head half out and with the second one it was completely out. The rest of his body followed quickly and before I had even caught up with it all, I had his tiny little body on me.

Even though they’d brought someone in from the NICU just to be safe, he ended up being perfectly okay. I needed a bit more attention because I had more bleeding than normal, and I had to have 4 stitches and another IV line put in to help with the blood loss. Then we stayed in the delivery room until about 6 at which point we were brought over to our postpartum room.

Since then nursing has undoubtedly been the biggest challenge. He did have a tongue tie, but he struggled from the get go. He would latch well but lose it and then get frustrated and cry. He also is a very lazy eater - I’d spend easily 30-45 minutes per side trying to get him to stay aware long enough to take in maybe 15 minutes of proper feeding, but he’d start smacking his lips practically the moment he was done, and he’d wake up hungry again within the hour.

Unfortunately there was no lactation consultant on staff as she was on vacation this week. People commented time and time again about how I had no supply issue, and his latch (when he was latched) was good, but it didn’t seem to help. I also felt I kept getting conflicting information as one moment he’d have crystals in his urine to indicate potential dehydration, and the next they’d be telling me he had barely loss any of his birth weight and was perfectly on target for that.

We did decide to get his tongue tie cut as it seemed to really be frustrating him at feeds and make it harder for my breast to properly fit into his mouth. The feed that followed the cut was easily the best we’ve had to date, but unfortunately it went downhill from there. After we got home and I tried to feed him last night, he did fine on the right side but then only lasted 10 minutes on the left and then lost it, started to scream and wouldn’t latch again. I haven’t been able to make him latch on the left side since, and I only managed to get him latched to the right a couple more times before we ran in the same problem, so we had to go ahead and start giving him bottles. I’ll be trying to work through it with a lactation consultant as soon as possible, and I’ve now started pumping, but in the meantime, him being properly fed was the biggest thing.

He does also have a small fracture on his right clavicle, likely from the forceps, but the pediatrician said that will resolve on its own within the week. In the meantime we just have to be very cautious how we move his right arm, and she prescribed him Tylenol if need be.

In the meantime we’re just trying to settle down to our new sleep deprived routine. But then looking into all the sweet, funny faces he makes both when asleep and awake makes it feel pretty worth it.

- Marie

#baby blog #baby #pregnancy blog #pregnancy #birth #birth story #induction #infant #newborn

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

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And he said, I hope you know how to swim

A/N: this is for the gift exchange from @itfandomprompts! My giftee is @iheartthoreau who asked for shy skinny dipping lovers and jealous Eddie. I’m sorry it’s out so late, I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Summary: The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s bare foot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

warnings: skinny dipping, mentioned of nudity (but nothing graphic)

read on a3o

The atmosphere of six best friends who’ve just moved past the worst stages in their life cackles in Eddie’s brain.

He’s buzzed up, energized beyond all logic by the laughter and loving gestures so carelessly tossed around in their group. Pennywise is dead, and with it the looming threat following each of them around and the teasing unhappiness hinting at what they were missing but not giving any clues as to what.

It’s all over now, and a road full of new opportunities lays ahead of them. Everyone is acting loose, ecstatic with the weight that fell off their shoulders. Eddie’s feeling a tad guilty too, for calling Myra and informing her that way about their upcoming divorce that he’s going to set in motion as soon as he’s had a good night sleep, but he felt so brave after surviving a literal killer clown, that he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

A part of him was also frightful that he’d lose his courage, between now and getting home, that he’d look around his house and accept that this was all he was destined for, a mediocre life with a wife he didn’t love and a job that sucked the joy out of all employees. Myra deserved better though, and that’s why Eddie’s guilty eyeing his phone, debating on calling her back. He won’t take back what he said, because he’s relieved to have put it out in the open, but he’s unsure if he should have been more empathetic towards her feelings in all of this. If he should have ended the call after telling her to take care.

Bev notices his wandering eyes from where she seated beside him on the couch, the woman still laughing a stitch, shifting forward and hiding his phone in between seat cushions. Out of sight out of mind so to speak.

‘We’ve got time to worry about it tomorrow Eddie.’ She says, and she’s right. Tomorrow both him and Bev will have to deal with the intricacies of divorce and separating a company and a home. Tonight is reserved for the losers only.

‘Yeah Eds, and here I was assuming that after twenty years we’d have some stuff to catch up on.’

Richie regards him from the floor, legs tossed up upon the couch with his body upside down. His glasses are sliding off, but he’s lazy to fix them, so he looks like even more of a goofball than normal. If Eddie could, if he didn’t feel like his intentions would be even more noticeable if he did, he’d scoot over to Richie, adjusting his glasses and letting his fingers trail his cheek and bask in the skin to skin contact.

‘You never did anything interesting before we went to college, what makes you think you’ve done something interesting after?’ Eddie’s tongue is sharp, a façade he builds to stop speculation about his feelings towards Richie, though the truth is that he is intrigued and he craves to know every small detail about his life outside of Derry.

‘No you guys are not starting this again. I’m sick of your bickering,’ Bill interjects, rolling his eyes at the pair.

‘I reject that big Bill, we’re hilarious, you can’t be sick of us bickering when you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing it for the last twenty years. Michael, back me up here buddy.’

‘Sorry Rich, I’m not getting involved in the slightest.’

‘Yeah guys come on, can’t we have one quiet night in?’

‘What so Eddie can just call me boring and I’m supposed to let it slide? Me? I’m the fireworks on the Fourth of July, the highest roller coaster in the park and the whipped cream on strawberries, but I am not boring.’ Richie changes positions, almost accidentally knocking over his beer bottle. He theatrically waves his arms back and forth, trying to animate his words and add conviction.

‘Okay, okay you’re not boring, but don’t overrate yourself either. The most adventurous thing you ever did in high school was skip a class to read a comic book in the school’s bathroom. Not exactly daredevil behavior.’

Bev sips from her whiskey, winking at Richie whose face turns beet red for a reason Eddie can’t decipher. It’s not until Bev conspicuously blows out a gust of air with her lips puckered that Eddie connects the dots.

‘Didn’t you say you ditched because you were smoking with Beverly? Dude did you fucking lie about that? I was worried you’d die and get cancer ever since that day you piece of shit.’

‘No I definitely did smoke. I swear.’

‘You’re not kidding anyone Rich, I vouched for you all those years ago, but I’m not doing it again. Little Richie was a comic book nerd who just pretended to be really cool. We never ever smoked together.’

The losers all holler, clapping their hands together and cheering on the exposure of their foulmouthed friend, debunking all the story Richie apparently made up where he and Be had to sneak out at night to smoke inconspicuously, with the exception of Eddie and Richie. Eddie, because he’s busy glaring at Richie and Richie because he’s busy tapping Bill’s hand away, teasingly disheveling his hair.

Eddie wishes he was brave enough to give these little affections to his friend, especially after witnessing how soothed Richie got when Eddie hugged him after Neibolt, when he had dropped his face into the nape of Eddie’s neck and stayed there, swaying on his feet of exhaustion. It would only make him a good friend, a best friend, but Eddie is still so damn afraid.

He might have had the power to separate from his wife and kill an abstract form of his deepest fears, but Bowers angry yelled words, such as fairy and faggot, swung to his head any time he and Richie graveted closer while walking, haunt him even now.

Touching is off limits the words tell him, so he shows affection the only way he’s ever known towards Richie, by bickering and pulling pigtails.

‘I should have expected that.’ Eddie nods vehemently, laughing as Richie’s mouth drops open in a shocked manner.

‘Are you kidding me? Eddie Spaghetti is the one telling me I’m a loser?’

Eddie flips him off, ignoring Mike’s whispered; ‘he’s got a point’, in favor of levitating his full attention on Richie. The giggling in the room elevates an octave higher.

‘You all laugh’, Richie addresses the entire group, ‘but was I not the one who came up with the idea for the list?’

Abruptly, all sounds snap off, as everyone is snapped back to the past. Even Richie is, at face value, confused about the word he spoke, until the concept and creation of the list is brought to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

‘Holy shit.’

‘Oh my god Mike please tell me you still have it.’

Mike shakes his head with a far-off look. ‘Sorry guys, I don’t know who had it last but I never found it again.’ He’s saddened by it, like he did them all an injustice by not holding on to a flimsy piece of paper.

The List, capital L, was nothing more but a checklist, composed with all the fun and dangerous things the losers all had hopes of doing after graduating high school. Eddie remembers now, the hushed laughter and uncompromisable joy that came with the simple idea of these things, how everyone pitched in and added dare after dare while him and Stan exchanged glances and hoped to god that some things would never be executed.

‘That’s okay Mike, I’m just happy we can all remember making it.’ Ben smiles reassuringly Mike’s way, who smiles back and takes a deep breath.

‘Wait, I think I can recall some of the things we wrote on there. Hold on’, Bev squeezes her eyes shut and snaps her finger in the hope it will get to her faster. ‘Oh’, she exclaims, startling Bill who chokes on his own saliva, ‘we were going to visit Europe, do a high rope parkour, rock climb and some other things I can’t remember right now.’

‘Didn’t we also agree to volunteer in a hospital and go camping in the national forest?’ Ben asks, awaiting confirmation.

‘Yeah we did, Stan was throwing a fit over going camping because of the environment and the dirt, but we were well on our way to convince him.’

‘Wow,’ Richie breathes, chest puffing up and head dropping back into the couch so his face isn’t visible to the rest. ‘I forgot all about that, but come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I did most of those things with Bryan.’

And who the fuck is Bryan? Certainly not Eddie, sweating in fear from the things that were being listed, searching for the most extreme dares he’d seen happen on tv to suggest, doing anything he could to impress Richie. Eddie was terrified of most of the activities on the list, like Bev’s idea to waterski in the ocean, or Mike’s zip lining idea, but he would have done them if it meant he could bask in Richie’s attention, impress Richie to rid himself of scared baby Eddie was so sure he must have been in Richie’s eyes. So who the hell was this Bryan stealing his thunder like that?

‘Who’s Bryan?’ Bev inquires with a smirk, winking at Richie blush ridden face. Eddie’s jealousy rears its ugly head, flaring up and making his head woozy. He simultaneously both considers choking Bev and thanking her for the question.

With Richie’s secret fresh on his mind, the way he’d so shamefully admitted that he was gay and they were the first people he’d ever found the courage to tell, Eddie wondered if Bryan was perhaps someone Richie had been romantically involved with.

Richie would have deserved it, Eddie argues in his mind, to at least for a short period of time have someone love him back as fiercely as he dons it out, but Eddie’s also furious that he stole Richie out from under his nose.

Which is illogical, because even if he and Richie had managed to stay in touch, and Eddie confessed – not much chance there, as Eddie didn’t even tell anyone he was gay when Richie did - there was no guaranty that Richie would’ve reciprocated.

‘No one snoopy’, Richie argues with a jittery leg, ’just some guy I hung out with for a while.’

Bev appears unconvinced, but she’s also respectful towards Richie's decision to not say anything. ‘So which ones did you complete?’

‘I went to Europa senior year of college, smoked a bunch of weed, went zip lining. The normal kind of stuff.’

Zip-lining, or smoking weed for that matter, causes Eddie skin to crawl, not that he’d ever admit it. He hates that that’s not the case for Bryan.

‘Well thanks Rich, none of us ever did anything on the list without the other losers. I guess you didn’t miss us too much.’ It’s not fair, of course it’s not. He can tell by the eagerness to spend time together that Richie was very lonely, and experienced the same aching emptiness where his friends were supposed to be as the rest of them.

The bitter tone of Eddie's speech, and the way Richie’s eyes turn a little dimmer extinguishes the fire of Eddie’s envy. Richie deserves better than him in every way. An apology lies at the tip of his tongue, ready to jump into the open and hopefully aid the wounds before they’re fully developed.

Sensing the impending hurricane of trouble on the horizon Mike is eager to intervene, playing mediator for two forces that are about to collide. ‘Well I mean, we probably wouldn’t have gone through with most of them anyway.’

‘Speak for yourself’, Eddie waves him off, spiteful that Mike has a good point. He would have found a way to undermine their plans and make it so that he could back out without appearing like a meek lamb, for at least half of the activities. If he had known about Bryan’s existence though, he would have done anything. He feels ready now to do anything, to one up him and establish his spot as Richie’s number one.

‘Prove it,’ Bill dares with a lopsided smirk, certain he’s got Eddie beat. He sustains eye contact, reaching for the bag of chips on the table and gnawing on it with the most smug aura Eddie has ever witnessed him having.

‘I would’, Eddie defends fiercely, ‘but we can’t do any of the things in Derry.’

‘Sounds like a cop out to me.’

‘Yeah, sure Big Bill, because you can easily find a zip line here in Derry. The town that refused to spend money on renewing the library back in the eighties is no doubt going to have that installed by now.’

‘What about skinny dipping?’ Ben proposes innocently, having no idea the kind of strain he’s putting Eddie under.

‘That’s a great idea Ben, I forgot we put that one on the list.’ Beverly acknowledges despite Eddie’s frantic head shaking. The room temperature drops down and rises back up steadily, at least according to Eddie. He’s starting to sweat, something he never does and takes pride in – in the office he’s the level headed one, and that’s saying something – and he pulls at his collar to allow some air to ventilate.

Everything except that. A swim in a dirty lake that was most likely infected was a whole plate of different bacteria, and being naked in front of the man he’s in love with is not something Eddie is particularly fond of. He almost asks for a different thing to do, but that would truly be a cop out, and he both refuses to back down in front of Richie and give Bill the satisfaction of being right.

‘Good luck with that Eds, question before this all goes down, am I allowed to use this in my next bit?’

‘Actually,’ Bev interrupts, ‘I think you should join him too.’

‘Hey I wasn’t the one that said I’d be willing to do anything.’

‘No, but you were the one who added it on the list in the first place. C’mon Richie, It’ll be fun. For us, not for you guys, but we’ll get a good laugh out of it.’

Richie is hesitant, same as Eddie, readjusting his glasses again. Eddie is sure that if he says the word Richie will tell everyone to back down for him. He wouldn’t even make fun of Eddie for it, should Eddie give any indication that he wouldn’t want him too. He thinks back to Bryan, and how he wouldn’t have backed down for such a thing, and how in awe Richie must have been seeing the man abandon all safety precaution and go for it, Eddie’s mind is made up instantly.

‘Let’s do it.’ He says without leaving room for argument, nodding at Richie as he looks to him. He hopes Richie will go with it, but is also confident that of course he will. As kids they followed each other everywhere, and surely that hasn’t changed.

‘Really? I mean yeah – sure I guess. Bring it on.’

-----

The Derry midnight breeze is freezing, Eddie notes, still dressed in a shirt and pants and dreading having to get rid of them. He’s barefoot now, standing on top of the quarry and peering down into the glinting lake. Eddie’s jumping from one foot to the other, annoyed that dirt is clinging to his skin and branches are piercing his soles, even more aggravated at the idea of cleaning them in infection filled lake water. Bev better keep her end of the promise, and be waiting near the end of the lake with a pair of fresh pressed towels.

Next to him, also bare foot, Richie looks over his shoulder, and laughs, bright and innocent.

‘I forgot how high this was.’

It is high up, but they’ve done this jump at least a hundred times before, so Eddie’s not worried about the plunge. He’d assume Richie isn’t either, but the man keeps glances towards the path they took to get up here, uncharacteristically silent.

‘It’s okay if you're too scared to go through with it Eduardo, I won’t tell the others.’ Richie smirks when he notices Eddie’s glance, crossing his arms over his chest.

The movement makes his shoulders bulk, highlighting just how much bigger Richie is compared to Eddie. Eddie’s mouth waters, and he starts to worry about how he’s going to have to get through seeing Richie’s naked shoulders in the flesh.

‘Just get undressed will you? Hurry up.’

‘Why? Eager to see my bare ass?’

‘Yeah, because who doesn’t think jumping naked into a lake they frequented as kids is the epitome of sexiness? No you self-centered idiot, I want to get it over with so I can go back to the Inn and grab a warm shower.’

With one last peek, Eddie moves backwards, standing away from the ledge and begins to unbutton his shirt, before thinking better off it. Richie picks up on his hesitation, shifting backwards too and motioning his head towards the ridge.

‘Do you want me to show you how it’s done?’

‘No,’ Eddie objects, ‘I’ll go first.’

‘Why? I’m not going to stare at your junk while you're jumping in if that’s what you're worried about Eddie. I’m not that kind of gay.’ Rarely does Richie toss aside an opportunity to grant Eddie another humorous nickname, so the use of his real name spooks Eddie just enough that he opens his mouth to apologize without even realizing what he’s apologizing for.

Richie’s facial expression, set in a grimace and squinting his eyes defensively, are a dead give away that Eddie’s words are being taken the wrong way. If only Richie knew that Eddie wanted him to go in first so he could avoid the same temptation Richie thought he was forcing on him.

‘Richie no, that’s not what I meant I-.’ Heartfelt compliments are not something Eddie has had a lot of practice for these last few years, and he’s not doing a good job catching up on them either. Therefore he sighs and hopes that he can find another way to prove to Richie he’d never accuse him of something like that. ‘Whatever, just go first already.’

‘Fine but turn around okay?’

Eddie listens to him, back towards Richie and the jump off, though he doesn’t really understand the request. With Richie comes a lot of flair, and he was more or less been prepared for a joke about how Eddie got to confirm how big his dick is in reality.

He waits and listens carefully for the sounds of clothes being dropped on the ground, and he can’t stop his mind from secretly imagining how Richie looks like without them once he distinguishes it. Eddie shakes his head, scolding his own mind.

The next few moments are filled with raspy breaths originating from Richie, footstep sounding further away and then closer again in an erratic pattern. He must be scared of the jump. Under normal circumstances, Eddie would ask to jump in at the same time, but since Richie asked Eddie not to turn around, he won’t.

‘If you don’t jump in the next five minutes,’ Eddie teases, the way Richie used to tease him, ‘I’ll push you in.’ A second later Eddie hears Richie’s loud whooping as he plunges down into the dark water.

Eddie spins, the only thing greeting him the dark with very little light clearing up his path, from the moon. He’s having a hard time to even see where the cliff ends, and he can’t disguise Richie in the water at all.

‘I’m coming in’, he yells to the void, in case Richie can’t discern his body in time and needs to move out of the way. He takes off his clothes, goosebumps erupting on his skin, and folds his pants and t-shirt up neatly, touching the ground with his hands to find a dry spot to lay them on. The air is cold, and so Eddie refuses to linger on top any longer than he has to.

He jogs up to the ledge and darts off before his mind can conjure up the thousands of things that can go wrong from swimming in the dark this late at night. His body flies through the air and connects with the water in one swoop, a pit of glee bursting in Eddie’s stomach. Jumping from the quarry equals freedom, a hot summer day and love for all of his friends, but in particular Richie.

Eddie keeps his head underwater until his lungs burn, eyes closed and allowing himself to just feel all the sensations. Then, something tickles the back of his leg, and the peaceful moment is over. He kicks back the surface, away from the spot where he could swear something touched him, and searches around for Richie.

Richie, with his wet black hair clinging to his forehead, strands of it sticking out in every direction, and his droplet covered glasses, roving more of Eddie’s heart each minute they’re near each other. He’s never looked more beautiful, and Eddie has never had to fight the urge to kiss him as much as he does now.

‘See, I told you I wouldn’t stare Eds, I can’t even see anything with all these splatters on my glasses.’

The moon reflects on the water, so that it’s impenetrable, and neither Rich nor Eddie can look down and see their lower body parts.

What Eddie can see is enough anyway, Richie’s shoulders and part of his chest hold Eddie’s attention, and he forgets to respond to Richie’s comment.

His eyes land on a dark bruise, just on the bottom of Richie’s neck, a remnant of their fight with Pennywise earlier that day. Without thinking, without standing still on the consequences of such an action, Eddie swims closer, stretches his arm out, and lingers his fingertips over the bruise. He carefully positions his body to not touch any other body part of Richie’s except for his fingers on his neck.

He makes an inquisitive noise, thumb stroking over the injury in what he hopes to be a calming matter. He physically can’t pull away, entranced with the way he moves and responds to him, trying but failing to get his fill of Richie clenched.

‘Eddie’, Richie whispers, scared to break the silence and the intimate moment. ‘It’ll be fine. And hey, at least he didn’t do anything to my dick.’

‘Yeah, would have been a shame if it were to become even smaller.’

Richie snorts, retaliating the jest with a wave of dirty water aimed at Eddie.

Eddie gasps, spitting out a bit of water that managed to sneak into his mouth. ‘Oh you’re on.’

The two of them chase each other, and if it weren’t for the fact that they were both naked, Eddie would have thrown his entire body weight in the game to push Richie underwater. As it stands, they just splash back and forth until they’re exhausted and the remnants of their laughter dies out, barely enough energy left to stay afloat side by side.

‘Did you have this much fun with Bryan?’ Eddie asks, a bit envious. He hates how he’s still stuck on the Bryan thing, hates that his mind keeps popping images of them doing the exact same thing only to end it with a kiss.

‘What?’

‘With Bryan, the guy you did all that other stuff with?’

‘Oh no, me and Bryan – we were never together like that.’ Back at the hotel room, Eddie figured that that was a ploy to distract Bev, something Richie just said because he couldn’t comfortably admit the real intent of their relationship. But he’s never lied to Eddie, and his eyes, magnified by his glasses, seem so sincere, Eddie has no other option but to believe him. ‘I-I’m- some other guy already has that place all taken up.’

Eddie stupid, oblivious and dense and everything in between. He knows Richie isn’t talking about him, he knows he could never be the guy Richie would hold all hope out for – he also secretly hopes it’s none of the losers -, but he wants to be so bad. Just one time, just one kiss and he’d be sated enough to let go of his feral behavior towards any potential love interest Richie might have. Just one time.

‘Richie’, Eddie starts, biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He’s taking a huge risk, by foreseeing a rejection but hoping that Richie won’t drop him as a friend because of this. If Eddie doesn’t do this, he’ll never stop wondering what it feels for their lips to meet. He’ll never get over Richie because he never got to experience any with him.

‘Can I kiss you?’ He risks releasing his lip.

Richie is visibly shocked. ‘What? What the fuck? Eddie is this a joke?’

The joke is, as usual, all on Eddie who regrets ever opening his mouth in the first place. He could try to laugh it off, say that it was a joke, but that would mean that he pretends to make a jest out of something Richie has struggled with for his entire life. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Left with no other options but to further dig his own grave, Eddie decides to be honest. At least that means he gets to keep part of his integrity.

‘No Richie of course not, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m sorry. Look I like you but it’s obviously one sided and I just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you but it was a stupid request and I shouldn’t have asked you that. Oh god, I never even asked if you were dating someone –‘

‘Eds?’

‘- Fuck can we please forget I said anything so we can still hang out?’

‘Eddie?’

‘What?’

‘Yes. Please kiss me.’

Eddie gapes with his mouth open, struggling for breath and for words. He’s half convinced he misinterpreted the words, but his tilted head proves otherwise. Eddie doesn’t question it further, counting his lucky start for once, and leaning in to his emotions and Richie, breaching the water to get to him.

Their kiss is surprisingly gentle for the ungovernable lead up prior to it. Richie’s lips taste like lake water, but deeper underneath lies a tang of something distinctively Richie. Eddie can’t wait to devour him whole once he’s cleaned up. Their lips move together in tandem, a perfect harmony that for once neither are willing to break.

They pull back, Richie’s arms circling Eddie’s waist, and he smiles. His smile mixed with the love stricken gleam in his eyes, mysteriously tells Eddie that Richie feels the exact same way he does. His chest caves with happiness.

‘I like you too, if it wasn’t obvious. A lot more than Bryan.’

‘For the love of God can we never mention that again? It’s embarrassing. No, Hush’, Eddie says urgently, covering Richie’s mouth with his palm when he opens his mouth to conjure up another joke.

‘Fine,’ Richie says while pulling away from Eddie’s hand. ‘How about we talk about something else then? How the fuck are we supposed to get to our clothes?’

#my writing #reddie imagine #reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrack #richie and eddie #adult losers #it chapter two imagine #eddie x richie

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hearmeouteliza · 3 years

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So here’s the scene that’s come so far from this post where I’ve been thinking out loud about Pepper’s origins and the Phantom Blot bonding with her and wanting to help her. For once, I actually do know where I’m going with this (LOL, instead of getting started with an idea and then just winging it), but I want to catch up with some other stories I have out there before taking the full tale on...

Though he’d worked his way into the upper echelon of the organization, Phantom Blot had no real love for F.O.W.L. They were a means to an end; they gave him the most accurate intelligence regarding significant sources of magic and the resources to track them down. Plus, they weren’t fond of Magica DeSpell either, so they wouldn’t stop him from eliminating the threat she posed once he had the chance. His working for the organization was an arrangement of mutual benefit and nothing more. Frankly, after he captured Magica and destroyed all magic to avenge his village – and, more importantly, his family – he didn’t care what F.O.W.L. did or didn’t do.

Over the years, however, Blot had learned a number of the agency’s secrets. The Eggheads, F.O.W.L.’s grunts and resident fashion disasters, had mostly been the products of one of F.O.W.L.’s earlier projects. They had taken in a number of orphaned and abandoned children, raising them to become loyal to the organization and join its workforce. Whether it was truly rescuing them was debatable; many of them might have been adopted by actual families had they not been claimed by F.O.W.L. And the ethics of raising a child for the express purpose of filling a job were questionable. But, on the other hand, though they had been raised in a very institutional environment, the children had never been abused and the Egghead’s wages were reasonably competitive when compared to similar positions in the outside world. Blot had decided he had no real opinion on the program one way or another. Was it ideal? No. But the children had been safe and secure, something their so-called families certainly hadn’t worried about when abandoning them. The orphans were a different situation, and he felt for them, but they hadn’t had any family step up to claim them either. As someone whose own children had been stolen from him, their lives snuffed out before he could stop it, he had absolutely no tolerance for anyone who would abandon a child to the whims of an often-cruel world.

Something else he’d learned and didn’t particularly care about was that ducks and other species with a predisposition to imprint upon their initial caregivers had something known as an “imprint memory.” It was a vague memory of their early moments after hatching, involving the caregiver they’d imprinted upon. There were rarely specifics, just general feelings and a sense of what had been going on around them at the time. If the initial bond with their caregiver was broken, another could be formed with a different caregiver, provided the child was given the time and support needed to do so. Those who suffered from what psychologists termed “fractured imprinting” that had never built a subsequent bond in their formative years tended to have significant adjustment and mental health issues in adulthood. That certainly explained why majority of the Eggheads were so…well, cracked, as the slang went. They would have probably had those issues anywhere else, especially if they hadn’t been lucky enough to be adopted, but while their physical needs had been met, they hadn’t been particularly coddled.

All of that had been in a mental file Blot had labeled “Not My Problem” previously; it was a broad category that encompassed most things that had little to do with his primary mission. However, one particular Egghead had wormed her way into his life with her boundless enthusiasm. She also happened to be a “graduate” of the program. Despite himself, Blot had become fond of Pepper, even beginning to consider her a friend. He certainly hadn’t had many of those since his village had been destroyed so long ago. He had insisted to F.O.W.L. she become his permanent mission partner, something Bradford Buzzard had immediately agreed to since there was literally no one else volunteering. (Why did that bother him? He’d never cared who liked him or not before.) And now, between tasks, they’d begun to talk about topics that had previously been off-limits, such as his family. Pepper’s eyes were wide and sympathetic as he told her of the joy they’d brought him, his beloved wife and their two little girls.

“They sound pretty great,” she said quietly.

“They were,” Blot agreed. He watched, mildly amused as she toyed with her blonde curls that refused to be contained once she took her helmet off. With a name (or was it a nickname?) like Pepper, he’d expected her hair to be red the first time he saw it, but that only went to show how far assumptions got anyone. It occurred to him he knew little about Pepper, other than that she’d been one of F.O.W.L.’s foundlings. Before she’d snuck her way into his heart, he wouldn’t have cared. “Do you know anything about your life before you came here?” He wasn’t sure how else to pose the question. The odds were that her story wasn’t a happy one and he didn’t want to push her to share it if she wasn’t ready. However, given the way she opened up to him like a flower at the least little bit of affection (or even attention), he suspected she’d tell him.

Pepper shrugged. “F.O.W.L.’s the only family I’ve ever known…you know, like most of us. I guess there are a few Eggheads who answered a want ad – bet they had no idea what they were signing up for – but the rest of us were rescued.”

“I don’t know that my opinion will count for much,” Blot told her, “but I find it despicable that anyone would abandon their own offspring.” He was still trying to figure out this whole “friendship” thing, but sympathizing with her situation was a start.

Pepper grinned. “Oh, it does count. And thank you. It’s…well, it does help, at least a little.” She sighed, her gaze trailing off to gaze at nothing in particular. “It’s just…”

Blot frowned, even if Pepper might not have been able to see it beneath his cloak. One thing Pepper had never been was at a loss for words, so whatever she had on her mind had to be significant. “It’s just what?”

“Well, we’ve talked about our imprint memories before, me and the others.” Pepper twisted her fingers together as she talked. “Most of the others, they’re what I’d guess you’d expect – lonely, sometimes cold…just sad, really sad. And I feel a little bad that mine…isn’t?”

“You shouldn’t feel bad for that,” Blot insisted, but he wasn’t surprised that she did. She was the most empathetic of all the Eggheads he’d spent any significant amount of time around; perhaps that had to do with the fact that she might not have had as rough a start as her peers. Had she been one of the orphans? “Did you want to…talk about it?”

Pepper nodded enthusiastically. “It’s really…nice, actually. I remember a woman – she must have been my mother – holding me and singing to me. Just…safe and warm.” Her smile quickly morphed into a frown, however, the rest of her face falling with it. Blot had never seen her look so dejected and he found he hated it. “I don’t know why she left me. They said they found me in a box, just a few days old. Was I a difficult baby? Did something happen where she couldn’t take care of me? Or was she even my mother?”

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with you.” That, Blot could promise her, even if he had no information to answer her other questions. “You were an infant. There was nothing you could have done to deserve being abandoned like that.”

Slowly, Pepper’s smile returned, tentative though it may have been. “Thanks. That’s…really nice of you to say.” She shrugged, her expression a little sheepish. “Sometimes when I got lonely, when I was little, I used to pretend she realized she made a huge mistake and was looking for me. Or…I was really a princess of some country somewhere and she had to hide me away to protect me from an evil sorceress.”

Given that Blot had dealt with more than one evil sorceress in his time and was currently in pursuit of the most menacing one of all, he couldn’t exactly call her fantasies ridiculous. “Perhaps she did. Or…perhaps you’re an orphan after all and she never meant to leave you behind.” It was still an unhappy ending, true, but maybe it would sting less for Pepper to consider.

“Yeah, maybe!” Pepper perked up. “You know, you try to be all tough and menacing, but I think you’re a real softie underneath it all.”

Blot glared at her, but it lacked the heat he usually summoned for those who had irritated him. “I am not.”

“I think you are,” Pepper teased, her voice becoming more singsong.

“Am not,” Blot insisted. Childish as it may have been, she had goaded him into playing along. He couldn’t help but be reminded of similar arguments his girls had…and the memory was a balm instead of a dagger to his heart. This ridiculous little duck just seemed to bring out that sort of thing in him. Privately, he resolved to do some additional research into Pepper’s origins. Surely there would be files that could help him put together the pieces and give her some answers.

It was nice to have someone to care about again.

#pepper the egghead #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #phantom blot #pepperblot

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