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buckyalpine · 1 year

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Work Wife

Bucky x reader

Some angst, past crappy relationship with cheating but Bucky is a sweet baby and makes it all better. Lots and lots of fluff

“See you soon doll” Bucky pecked a kiss onto your head before making his way out to a new job he had taken up at a small bookstore. He’d taken a few months off of missions, needing a break from it all and the store that wasn’t too far from the compound was perfect.

You smiled watching him run off, not wanting to be late. It warmed you seeing how happy he was, it had only been a couple of weeks and he was glowing.

He clearly loved it.

Every day he’d come back, excited to tell you about how his day went; the new book he read, how his coworker, Rosa, introduced him to a new coffee, the puppy that visited the store, the new café he went to with Rosa, how to processed an online order for the first time, how Rosa walked him through the whole thing.

You were curled up in bed with Bucky, your head on his chest while he cuddled you close, telling you about the most recent events that took place that afternoon (which of course, included Rosa). He laughed about how the owner of the store, Dave, told them to stop flirting so much, it was going to make the other customers sick.

“Almost followed her home today, she made these almond cookies that were so good, I wanted to bring you some but Dave finished them”

You hummed, shaking off the tiny inkling of insecurity and jealously that had started to crawl up your spine. You were over thinking. It was nothing. Rosa was a coworker.

Bucky would never cheat.

He loved you.

“Come visit soon?” He whispered, before kissing your forehead and turning the lamp off so you could both fall asleep.

“I will” You kissed his chest, biting your lip, wondering if it was a good idea. You had been meaning to visit for ages but missions and recovery had taken up your time. Now you feared actually seeing everything in person would make everything too real.

You didn’t know if you could go through that again.

*****

“Sounds like you have a work wife” Tony snorted, over hearing bits and pieces of Bucky’s day at the book store while you both sat at the kitchen island, eating dinner.

“A work wife?” Bucky looked confused, having never heard the term before, he was already on the struggle bus trying to find the courage to make you his wife, what was this additional fuckery.

“Y’know, like a close bond you have with someone at work and it almost feels like you’re married to them cause you get each other and there’s some banter and bickering in there. Like a wife”

Bucky nodded, it made sense. His relationship with Rosa was sort of like what Tony was describing and he certainly felt a deeper connection with her than just someone else he worked with.

“Pepper says Nat is my work wife but Nat said Steve is her work husband, Cap still doesn’t understand the concept, so we’re all in a bit of an entanglement until further notice”

Your heart started to hammer in your chest. You knew they were all just joking and you kept reminding yourself that Bucky would never, never cheat but...

That’s also what you thought in your last relationship.

When he said they were just co-workers.

When he literally introduced you to her as his work wife.

She was in every single one of his stories.

His day wasn’t complete unless she was in it.

You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but surely being a work wife didn’t entail sending each other nudes.

You swallowed thickly, trying to calm yourself down before you got ahead of yourself, Bucky was different.

*****

“So...” You fidgeted with your fingers, watching Bucky get ready for work, letting your curiosity get the best of you. “Whats-whats Rosa like?”

“She’s super sweet. We have a lot in common, its incredible. I don’t think I’ve had that type of connection in a long time. She’s caring, she listens, more patient than I am, that’s for sure” Bucky snorted to himself, embarrassed over the number of time’s he had asked her to help him go over the system they used for returns. She didn’t mind, showing him again, every single time.

“Oh” You felt your heart sink, you didn’t know what answer you were expecting from him but his words felt like salt rubbed on a wound. You didn’t want to dump your insecurities onto him, it wasn’t fair when he hadn’t done anything wrong. He gave you a kiss good bye as always before heading out the door.

It was getting late. Bucky was never late. You couldn't fall asleep, your stomach churning at the number of reasons he could be late but nothing brought you comfort.

“You’re still up?” Bucky had walked in quietly, expecting you to be asleep but you were up, reading a book, still waiting for him. “Sorry baby, I got caught up with Rosa, I lost track of time. She really is like my work wife” He strode over to the closer to change out of his clothes, not seeing the tears that had welled in your eyes.

That did it. You couldn't swallow the lump in your throat or mask the sniffles that escaped you. You tried to bite your lips shut but you couldn’t hide the tiny whimpers that slipped through.

“Doll?” Bucky frowned when he heard your soft cries, rushing out to come by your side, his heart racing when he saw how distraught you looked. “Babygirl what’s wrong”

“It’s-it’s nothing, it has nothing to do with you” You shook your head, not wanting to go into the way you had trusted your past boyfriends so much, only to end up hurt every single time. You were practically watching history repeat itself and you hated it.

“Babygirl, talk to me, please” Bucky pulled you into his lap, doing his best to soothe you but it didn’t seem to work.

“W-would-would you ever-ch-cheat on m-me?” You hiccupped between sobs.

“Never doll, I’d never do anything to hurt you baby, you’re it for me. No one else comes close to you. Where’s all this coming from sweet heart”

You sucked in a breath, your body feeling hot, almost embarrassed to tell Bucky about your past relationship but he had to know. You told him about how your ex endlessly spoke about his coworker and how amazing she was. It started off fine. Then he started coming home late. He gave her that glorious title. Then he tripped and put his dick in her.

“You-you said work wife, I guess it just reminded me about him” You shrugged, “I know you like working with her a lot, Its just hard because I trusted him when he said there was nothing between them”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that baby” Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around you, peppering kisses onto your face. “I promise you it’s nothing like that with Rosa” He could tell by your face you were not convinced even though you were trying hard to believe him. You nodded against his chest, closing your eyes, hoping sleep would help you feel better.

“I think you should me et her” Bucky smiled softly while you blinked up at him, his sweet hopefully eyes looking down at you. “Please?”

****

You gripped Bucky’s hand tightly as he walked with you down the sidewalk, your heart racing while his was jumping with excitement. The bell jingled as he opened the door, the soft scent of books immediately evading your senses, calming you slightly. Soft music from the 40′s played in the background on an old record player.

“Rosa!” Bucky called out, grinning when he heard the tiny footsteps rustling between the rack.

“James! It’s your day off darling” A tiny old lady popped her head from around the bookshelf; she was wearing a soft pink cardigan, her grey hair tucked in a bun and thin gold framed glasses perched on top of her head. She was half Bucky’s height, standing on her toes to pinch on of his cheeks before looking at you with bright eyes. She was adorable.

“Rosa, this is my girlfriend, y/n”

“Oh! I see why you call her a doll, what a sweet heart” She didn’t hesitate to pull you down for a hug, cupping your face gently in her soft hands “He talks about you so much darling”

“Y/n, this is my work wife, Rosa” You felt your cheeks heat up while Bucky smiled bashfully, excited you finally got to meet the people and see the place that brought him so much happiness.

It all made sense now.

Of course she understood him well. Of course he felt happy here. They reminded him of all the things he had missed out on. When he was with them, he felt like he had a small piece of his old self back.

“What are you doing here Barnes” Dave snorted, shaking his head “Here to flirt with my wife again?” An older gentlemen made his way over, cane in hand, dressed handsomely, nudging his wife playfully. “I hired you to work here, not flirt with the punks that come in here”

“We’ve been married 60 years, he still insists we’re just colleagues” She shook her head, elbowing his side while Bucky chuckled, enjoying the typical banter between the two, something he hoped he’d have with you one day.

“When you’re on the clock you work for me” Dave shrugged, giving her a gentle kiss before sitting down and sorting a pile of books. “Shouldn’t have hired this one to work here, he’s been distracting you”

“Can you blame me, look at how handsome he is” Rose threw him a wink before helping her husband while Bucky blushed beside you, walking you through the store. “Handsome little devil”

“He’s a little shit”

“They won’t let me call them Mr. or Mrs or Sir or Mam” Bucky shook his head, thinking back to the utter struggle her had the first week, getting bonked with Dave’s cane every time he slipped up.

“Don’t age me, I’m younger than you, if anything I should be addressing you as Sir, Sergeant. You were already in your 20′s when I was born”

“They’re so sweet” You giggled, squeaking when Bucky tugged you to the back of the store.

“They are” Bucky hummed, wrapping his hands around your waist, pulling you closer “I-I want that with you some day doll” He whispered, nervous with what he was hinting at.

“and what’s that my handsome devil?” You stood on your toes, kissing his lips sweetly, your heart fluttering while he rested his forehead on yours.

“Be happy with you, love you, grow old with you”

“I want that with you James” You could feel your eyes sting a little, snuggling into his chest, nothing would have made you happier than getting to spend the rest of your life with your soldier.

“Propose to her already!”

“Shut up and let the boy be”

Bucky chuckled, his eyes twinkling as he looked down at you, giving you a few more kisses before spending the rest of the afternoon, cuddled up with you on the couch with some coffee, books, and his mind planning how he wanted to ask you to marry him.

(and eventually he does propose to you. At that very bookstore. Dave and Rosa are 100% at the wedding. They’re more excited than anyone else that their son is getting married because Bucky is like their baby now. Your babies call them grandma and grandpa. Bucky still teasingly calls her his wife and she blushes like a little girl every single time)

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bluetooththereptile · 6 months

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An idea

Aged up reader who is actually Bruce's ex wife, they had married in secret when he was in his first year as batman and then split up because of both his ignorance of he and also him cheating on her with Selina, but now he wants her back, after 20 years he wants her back, BADLY.

Bruce takes the cake, waiting for her to have her piece before he himself digs in. Then finally, after a long pause of silence, he finally has to ask: "Did you ever love me?"

"What do you think?"

He stays quiet, his eyes locked on hers. He knows the answer. He's known it for years now, yet he can't bring himself to truly accept it. "Do I think you loved me? Yes. I know you did." What hurts the most is that she doesn't say "yes" herself. That she's just sitting across from him, not answering the question. But her silence is an answer in itself. It's one that hurts more than anything to hear.

"When you know then why do you ask?"

Bruce stays silent for a moment, processing all of this before answering your question with one of his own: "Why do I still love you after all that time? After all the distance? After not seeing you for so long?"

"Why?"

He swallows the lump in his throat. It's a tough question to answer, but he has to be honest. "I don't know how anyone can forget the person they shared a life with... that they had a future with for so long," he says quietly. "I suppose I still love you because I can't help but still picture that future with us."

"It's been 20 years Bruce, I think you've spent enough time to realize we couldn't be together"

"Maybe so, but I have to tell you that in these twenty years since... it hasn't gotten easier as you'd think it might. I'm still hurt by the loss of you in my life." He sighs. "Maybe you're right. But at the same time... it's hard not to think about what might've been if we were able to make things work."

"If we were going to go back together, what would you do?"

It takes Bruce a moment to contemplate his answer. Because it's a question he never honestly thought he would ever be asked. But here he is now, being faced with that very scenario. What would he do if they were able to go back together? What changes would have to be made? Or what changes would he be willing to make? How far would he go, just to have her back in his life again?

She arched her brow, waiting for his answer.

"I would do.... anything you'd wanted me to," he says as he looks straight into her eyes. He's not sure she fully realizes what he means. "I would give up everything. Including being Batman. If it meant we would be together." After everything he's been through in his life... as Bruce Wayne and as Batman... he means it when he says this. He's willing to do whatever it takes just to have her back.

"Oh dear..."

"Do you not feel the same way?" Bruce asks. "Have I not spent enough time alone with my thoughts? Enough time thinking back on our memories? Enough time working through what we could've been as a couple? Enough time imagining a life with you?"

"I have to think about it..."

"Think about this..." Bruce doesn't want to force her into giving up her answer. But he can't stay quiet about his feelings any longer either. "Think about all the things I've given up to be as Batman." He pauses for a moment to let this sink in. "All the sacrifices... the years where I should've been by your side, and I wasn't." He leans in closer now. He wants to try and make the case for himself. Try and convince her of his genuine intentions.

"We both know it wasn't just your life as batman..."

Here it is again... that reality check. That one reminder that Bruce is fully aware of. The reason why he and she grew so distant in the first place. Still, he stays quiet for a bit before speaking. "You're right. It wasn't just the years of being Batman... there were others things getting in the way too." He thinks back to his other love, Selina. To the years he spent with her and what he lost in order to pursue that relationship. His focus is back on her again.

"You were marrying Selina at one point, how can I trust that you won't choose her over me again if she wanted you back?"

"What I did with Selina, there's no excuses for," Bruce confesses. "I know it was a betrayal to you, to our past, to everything we'd planned together." "But Selina is in the past. And I've finally cut ties with her. I'm not looking to be with her anymore. I can't give you any reassurance for what the future holds. I can't give you that for what will happen from one day to the next. But I can give you my word that I'll never walk out on you again."

"What will ensure that?"

"Nothing in this life is guaranteed, but what I can tell you is that I'm not the same man I was then." He leans in closer to her, looking straight at her. "I'm older. I'm wiser. And I understand what I want my life to be like. And if I'm being honest... I already have it. Just being here and spending time with you again means more to me than you can imagine." "I may not be able to give you any guarantees... but what I can give you is my heart."

She gave him a hesitant look, putting her fork down. Chewing on the cake slowly as she contemplated his answer.

Bruce waits patiently for her to come to an answer. This is it... the moment where she decides to either rekindle the flame they once shared or walk away once more. Whatever her answer may be, he'll accept it. He'll understand if she needs more time to figure everything out as well. But here's hoping her answer is the one he's secretly hoping for.

"I just don't want anyone to know about us yet...alright? You know how much I care about my privacy"

Bruce can't contain his excitement. But he does his best to play it cool in the cafe. He wouldn't want to draw too much attention to their little reunion here. "Of course, darling." Bruce nods in her direction, his hand almost reaching for hers. "We'll keep everything quiet. Our little secret... and I promise that nobody will ever find out." As much as he wants his friends and family to know about this unexpected reunion between them, he knows that her privacy is important to her. For now, their love and reconciliation will be their little secret.

She sighed and smiled for the first time, playing with the cream on her cake.

He smiled back, reaching his hand across the small table as he gently takes her hand into his. In that moment, it was like they had transported back in time, back to when they were young and before the pain and betrayal of their relationship. For a couple of moments, they held each other's hands while taking in the silence of the small cafe.

"What will happen to us? I mean...we are old now!" She said in a chuckle "It's been a long time..."

"Too long," Bruce replies warmly. His smile grows wider as she chuckles to herself, her words warming his heart. "But I don't see why we should worry about that for now. Let's just catch up for now and figure everything else out later. You know, once we've decided if this is the path we both want to take together."

She nodded, tangling her fingers with his.

A warmth spread through Bruce's body as he felt a familiar feeling of her fingers interwoven with his own. Something about the feeling made Bruce feel like he was finally becoming whole again, that this reunion with her was the cure for the loneliness he's been feeling for all these years. "I need to tell you something, darling."

"Hmm?" She hummed, still playing with her cake.

"You were right. When we first got married, I couldn't give you the love you deserved." He looks straight at her, waiting for her reaction. He was prepared for her to be upset, but deep down he hoped she wouldn't. "But now, being in your presence again... it's like I'm suddenly seeing something I've been missing all these years." "You were the only one I truly loved, darling. I just didn't know it then. But I do now."

She gave him a half sarcastic smirk "Oh you..."

"No, I'm serious," Bruce protested. "From the first moment I laid eyes on you... this was my destiny. This was what was always meant to be. Us... this..." He gestures around the cafe. "I don't care how many years have passed. That feeling I felt for you when I first met you all those years ago... it never went away. It's only grown. Because it's true love. It's real."

She chuckled, shaking her head as she looked out of the window, watching the rain pour down with a sigh "You could have told me sooner you know, saving 20 years of loneliness..."

"You don't think I didn't regret that?" Bruce asks. "If only you knew... the nights I spent alone, thinking about the life we could've had together. The days when I was Batman and feeling just... empty. The nights crying myself to sleep because I wished you were... Just here." For the first time in a long time, Bruce looks down at the floor, unable to meet her eyes. He takes a long, sad breath. "I never got over you. Darling, if there was any one person who had the power to heal my broken heart... it was you."

She didn't turn her head at him, but kept his hand in hers, her instincts told her that is was not a good idea at all, Bruce had changed alot since the time they were married, too much in fact, he could now do dark things, much darker than she could imagine, but her heart wanted him back.

They sit in silence for a long while, Nina still holding onto Bruce's hand. Slowly, her head turns towards him. She notices his eyes are fixed to the floor in front of them. And then, she does the unexpected: She moves her hand along Bruce's arm towards his shoulder. Her fingers caress his shirt sleeve. She knows it's going to have him turn his attention on her. She's done something similar, long years ago, to get his attention as well. "Bruce?"

"Promise me you won't leave me again?"

Bruce looks up just in time to see her holding him in her gaze. And before he can even answer, he reaches his other hand down to hold her face in his hands. "I swear, darling" he says softly. "For as long as I live, you will always be the one. I'll never leave you. I'll be with you for the rest of my life." His gaze drops back down onto her face, their foreheads now touching. "You will always be mine, and I will always be yours."

#yandere #yandere batman #blue talks #yandere dc #yandere jason todd #yandere dick grayson #yandere tim drake #yandere alfred pennyworth #yandere bruce wayne #aged reader #idea #reunion

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curseanon · 21 days

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The Issue with Eden Polycule

So I wanted to articulate my thoughts on a relationship that ive seen in fandom spaces and lots of fan art or fanfiction. I don’t have any opinions or problems with Adam/Eve/Lucifer/Lilith, but I feel like there are some implications and tropes that we should be more careful about when it comes to Eve/Lucifer/Lilith or even just Eve/Lucifer. Before getting into it though, just a disclaimer: this post is not about polycules in general. It’s not my cup of tea personally, but ship whatever you please! This post is just me rambling about my own thoughts. Feel free to have your own interpretations. ALSO! None of this justifies Adam’s behavior. He is responsible for his decisions, including his cruelty towards people, language, and his decision to essentially wage mass genocide each year. And this post isn’t to say that this relationship drama is the sole reason why he ended up doing exterminations.

1. I don’t really like portrayals that have Lucifer/Lilith (L/L) sleeping with Eve and having her cheat on Adam, especially when it takes place in Eden. I’m afraid Vivzie might have this narrative take place in HH, but doing so does a real disservice to Eve’s (and Lucifer’s if he acted alone) character by having her be willing to cheat, and also does a disservice to Adam by having him be cheated on for reasons that are probably not entirely his fault. Not to mention a lot of media where this happens often has the tone of just “haha let’s cuck Adam twice,” which comes off to me as petty and unfair. Not only is it not a funny joke, but it essentially reinforces and justifies Adam’s misogynistic tendencies later. Especially the ideas that women are promiscuous, always willing to cheat and be unfaithful. The narrative would do nothing to disprove this if BOTH of Adam’s wives did in fact cheat on him.

2. Another thing about Eden. Lilith was Adam’s first wife, literally created for the purpose of being his partner. This is also pre-Apple, meaning that Adam has no concept of right vs wrong. The way he acts, if he truly was controlling and mean and the story book wasn’t exaggerating (which I doubt), is entirely the programming of the angels and the way they tolerate or enable his behavior. Assuming we went with the theory that Adam never ate the apple, it’s the same situation with Eve if she left him and/or cheated with L/L. The way I see it, Lilith’s cheating on Adam is not justified, even if she disagreed with Adam on certain things.

3. I also want to note that cheating on one’s partner is not a justifiable punishment for Adam’s behavior. Whether pre or post apple (now assuming he did eat it), I see it as fighting fire with fire, and all it usually does is create even more hostility and problems than if the person just clearly broke off the relationship first. L/L/E runs the risk of inadvertently encouraging unfaithfulness in relationships and marriages as solutions to a problem, but this is rarely the case. As stated earlier, it only makes Adam justified in acting the way he does. And with that justification, is he really in the wrong for how he treats women? What reason does he have to change his behavior if he is right about them? I could probably accept both wives leaving him if the purpose is to justify Adam’s behavior and not just mock him, to show how morality is not just black and white and the villains sometimes have justifiable reasons for thinking the way they do. But it still seems very shallow on Lilith and Eve’s parts.

4. This part is just my opinion on L/L/E, but I don’t find the idea of Eve getting with the people who caused her to lose Eden very convincing. L/L are the reasons her and Adam were cast out of the garden and made to live for centuries laboring to survive, farming cursed ground and painfully delivering several children. Not to mention the bringing of sin and death into the world, losing Abel at the hands of his brother and Cain being cast away to wander the Earth. All the suffering she faced in life and the suffering of all of her descendants, all of humanity. Her sleeping with Lucifer makes no sense to me unless he seduced her (when she was more naive, maybe even pre-apple) intentionally, either for the purpose of hurting Adam or if he did just love her also, which makes him complicit in ruining someone’s marriage. None of this fits with Lucifer’s character, a malewife who adores his Tall Queen and comes off to me as being very loyal. The idea of open marriage is better, but Adam does not seem like the type of guy who likes to share anything, and his marriage is very clearly between Adam and Eve. That controlling personality indicated by the story book leads me to see him as likely having some jealousy and possessiveness (though not in extreme ways).

5. The only other option is Lucifer sleeping with Eve after her death and if she goes to hell, since we know Adam and Eve lived a thousand years married together on Earth, starting humanity. But I don’t see any reason for this. We need much much more information about Adam and Eve’s relationship and all four of their relationships’ to each other in general first before we can talk more about this. But until then, I don’t see any reason to break up Adam and Eve unless there’s some importance to it in the narrative. For me, I see Adam’s womanizing in heaven as a sign that Eve is probably not in heaven. And thinking that he’ll never see her again because “Hell is forever,” he eventually becomes bitter and jaded over thousands of years and decides that his relationship with Eve must be over then. Possibly the same case with Eve in hell, somehow leading up to sleeping with Lucifer. But considering she’s no where to be found with L/L and Lucifer only references her once, there seems to be zero indication of anything between them.

6. To briefly touch on the idea that once in heaven, Eve eventually left Adam because of his horrible personality and womanizing. This is still possible, but it seems like WAY too big of a personality shift to go from married and raising a family for a thousand years to suddenly being a massive asshole and a philanderer. Something must have happened that magnified all the worst aspects of his personality. There’s no way he is the same today as he was in Eden or on Earth. If he is, that’s just shitty lazy writing on Vivzie’s part and Adam is nothing but a one dimensional villain with no depth at all. Massive waste of a character with huge potential.

Tl;dr This post is already too long so I’ll just summarize everything. Although I agree that Adam is definitely an arrogant and annoying villain, Lilith and Eve cheating on adam is unjustified imo, there is no reason for Eve to cheat on Adam or leave him at all from what we can tell now, and her having any relationship with Lucifer also makes no sense considering what his choices turned her life into. But let me know your thoughts on all this, if there’s some point you want to make or a disagreement on something else!

#hazbin hotel #eve hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel eve #hazbin eve #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin lilith #hazbin lucifer #adam x eve #eden polycule #hazbin headcanons

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tatasoom · 4 months

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Never have I thought... Last Twilight turned out to be that good that I would like to write not prediction and not bl-related things, but about a thing we all know so damn well - family.

There're two types of comments that makes me sad:

about Day's mother not understanding Day and his love

about Day hating Night too much

I've already written about my parents getting divorced at the same age of mine as Day was. But what if I told you that I also have an older brother, stories of father cheating on mother and a mother always busy with work?..

Take a seat, dear readers, thank you for your attention, I'll try to make it easy to read and maybe put some pictures. I'll tell you what's real in this series and why my heart hurts for all of them!

First of all let me tell you why Day's father hasn't become a problem and later Day even talked to him nicely. I mean REALLY NICELY. The answer is lack of feelings in Day. You can't hate person you barely able to love. You can't be hurt enough by someone you barely remember.

That man cheated on their mother, that man didn't provide his own two children even with food, but all of this exists as a story once told to Day. He loves the idea of being kinda loved by his biological parent, because we all want to be wanted and needed, but the father we've seen in that last two episodes is a stranger we're all getting to know with Day.

Let's leave this man living his life full of regrets and talk about Day's mother. She is THE MOTHER. As we know she discovered being cheated when Day was three (or maybe earlier?), left her propably hometown and spent another two years dealing with a need to divorce. Night was around ten or even less that time. She was maybe thirty. No food, no money and only three of them as she mentioned when giving Mhok a house tour.

And Day's mother actually survived and even succeed. I like the actress chosen for this role. She's beautiful. She looks gorgeous every time we see her. She also must be smart and charismatic to be a famous chef. And still there're only three of them. After around fifteen years (or even more) this absolutely stunning woman is still a single mother of two.

This woman made a fortress that supposed to keep safe from any heartbreak. And this fortress has it's rules.

Have you heard anything about Night's girlfriends? He's already mature enough to have a girlfriend or even a wife. And do you understand now why I think that the fear in Day's eyes everytime Mhok flirts with him at home probably has very little with a sexual orientation?..

The whole family has TRUST ISSUES. Their mother is their leader of course.

So you say that the mother with her trust issues (and social status and financial stability) should understand that Mhok loves her son. Okay, Mhok for her:

Young man, something around the age of her older son. Spent a year in prison. Has no relatives. Is an employee in her house. Didn't talk to him much.

Now tell this woman she needs to be happy her younger blind son is dating Mhok. And wants to be with him. Live together, have his own family. After all these tough years when there're only three of them and the reason for that was her being cheated by someone she loved. Tell her to trust in love. Tell her she needs to trust Mhok.

You can tell this woman to get therapy and then talk to her son(s) and you will be absolutely right. However people usually don't act right when dealing with their strongest emotions and I can't imagine this woman being less than heartbroken in the next episode.

Also need to say that being a single mother of two sounds like a choice between spending time with children and spending time making money for these children. And it's true. I also blamed my mother for not being in my life when dealing with different sh*t.

I was being bullied for a year and all my mother did was making me to change school after the year ended. She never been there when I was coming home with eyes full of tears. Oh, and before that year I even had an accidental (not car accident) eye trauma. Yeah, really, I'm not lying. My eye never recovered fully and I spent a week with a vision similar to Day's one. But it's okay now. I was around twelve back then.

So what about Night? Don't you think Day hates him too much? It's not a big deal to use Night to get to Songkhla and just not speak to him there at all, right? Why being so dramatic?

I remember a couple years ago my older brother was asked by my mother to help me with some renovations in the apartment I live in. That night we argued that hard that I left my only home in the whole big city and refused to come back until he left it. It was around 5AM. I spent that night in a park.

So if you think Day can't be mad at Night after that car accident without more valid reason, you need to ask yourself what Day felt for Night before the accident. And the simplified answer is love.

It's only the closest ones that can hurt you the most.

It would be really nice to know more about Day and Night's childhood, teen years. I'm sure mother always told them they need to be together and help each other and be kind to each other. The boys for sure was annoyed, but they care of each other so damn much. The goldfish "Little Day" is still alive after all.

After such a betrayal from a man mother can only trust her sons she raised herself. She taught them to trust her, to trust each other. That's why Night used to be the main caregiver for Day. He was the only person the mother could trust as much as she trusts herself.

Meanwhile Day learned that the only way to have some mother's time is to be the better son. Maybe his mother can't be with him regularly, but she wil definitely come to see him playing, right? Day and Night managed to compete for mother's time and attention without even realizing it.

I actually tend to tell everyone that my mother loves my brother more, even though I try to be less troublesome and more mature. I even complained to my friends about the need to take care of my older brother like he's the younger one.

I feel something like grief looking at Day's family. Their relationships and their personalities are like an aftershock of something happened years ago. And maybe it's not even a divorce.

Time actually heals. For Day and Mhok and Day's mother's relationship this time will start the moment she will be told about them. For Day and Night's relationship this time will start the moment Day get a stable zero vision and start learning to live in a new reality. I also hope we won't get eye donation from father/brother/mother/Mhok or I won't trust screenwriters ever again.

The family needs to see each other. And for that they actually don't need eyes.

If you're reading this you're my hero!

Thank you so much for reading this brainrot. I questioned myself whether all of this needs to be written, but decided to spit my thoughts out. Sometimes these writings help to analyse not only the characters, but myself. That's good.

#last twilight the series #last twilight #sea tawinan #mark pakin #jimmy jitaraphol #gmmtv series

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fortheloveofwonderland · 10 months

Text

Me & You & Everyone We Know | Chapter 8 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - You and Spencer have a serious talk about the direction your relationship is heading in. Spencer takes you and Taco out for the day where you bump into two members of his old team who also happen to be on a date.

Pairing - Single Dad! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - hurt/comfort, angst with happy ending, smut minors DNI.

Warnings - starts off angsty but there’s tons of fluff in this chapter. Mentions of cheating, swearing, making out, Spencer’s insecurities, more dog silliness, slightly awkward introductions, Garvez.

WC - 5.6k

Chapter 8 - Half of My Heart

Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation,

Half of my heart takes time.

Half of my heart's got the right mind to tell you,

That I can't keep loving you,

With half of my heart.

“Y/N,” he swallowed. “What are you doing here?”

He felt like his heart had leapt into his throat at the sight of you on his porch.

You were probably the last person he expected to see here, on his doorstep in the middle of the night.

You hadn’t said a word to him since crushing the very expensive bouquet of flowers so to say he was surprised to find you here was an understatement.

“I don’t know why I came here.” You shrugged, scuffing your toe on the doorstep.

You were dressed in sweats, your hair was a little messy and your face was make-up free as though you’d just rolled out of bed.

The truth was you had. You’d been laying in bed staring at the ceiling and all you could think of was Spencer.

You were angry at him, hurt at the way he’d treated you but for some ungodly reason you missed him.

So you’d found yourself jumping out of bed and into your car and driving out of DC and into the Virginia suburbs just to see his face.

But you didn’t have any idea what you planned on saying when you were actually here, or why you’d come here in the first place.

“Oh.” He chewed on his lip. “Ok?”

“Can I come in?”

Spencer looked over his shoulder briefly before looking back at you. His expression was almost guilty.

“Uh…you see the thing is…”

Your heart dropped and your chest tightened as you stared at him wide eyed.

“Oh gosh,” you gasped, stumbling backwards a little. “You have another woman in there.”

Spencer couldn’t help the chuckle that left his lips at the misunderstanding.

“In a way. A little woman. Daisy’s home.” He shrugged.

“Oh.” You exhaled, trying to get your breathing back to normal. “I thought your kids were with their mom this weekend?”

“Lily is. Daisy…there was a thing. It was messy. It resulted in Daisy not wanting to see her mom right now.” He gnawed on his lip. “She’s asleep though, so it’s probably ok if you come in.”

You nodded stiffly and Spencer held the door open for you to enter. He noticed you immediately glancing around the room.

“You painted?” You frowned, and now you were in the light you could see paw prints all over his shirt. “And so did your dog.”

“Yeah. It was time.” He shrugged, leading you over to the couch and wishing he’d thought to change out of his paint covered shirt.

He completely forgot he had the photo album still laid open on the coffee table and he saw your eyes land on it straight away.

You took in the photograph of a much younger Spencer and his pregnant new wife.

“Uh…I don’t even know how to explain that.” Spencer sighed, chewing heavily on his lip. “It’s been a really fucking weird week.”

You glanced up at him as he raked his fingers through his hair.

“You look so young.” You mused.

“I guess I was. It seems like a different lifetime ago now.” He shook his head.

“So does this fucking weird week have any relevance to why you showed up at my apartment drunk out of your mind and acted like a complete asshole?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Kind of.” He shrugged. “I haven’t told you the reason why I got divorced.”

You narrowed your eyes on him, wondering what this had to do with things, but wanted to give him a chance to explain.

“No, you haven’t.”

“My ex-wife, Maeve, was having an affair. For three years.” He spoke stoically. “We never told the kids why we broke up, it seemed better if they didn’t know. But Daisy found out and I got angry and I tend to drink when I’m angry. And that’s how I ended up at your apartment, drunk out of my mind and acting like a complete asshole.”

“Three years? Shit.” You rolled fur lip between your teeth. “That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah.” Spencer leaned forward and closed the photo album that seemed to be taunting him. “I wasn’t pining or anything. That’s not what this was about. I just…I don’t know. I needed to remember when things were good. Because things feel as though they haven’t been good in a really long time. Not at least until I met you.”

“You were a jerk.”

“I was. It was totally inexcusable for me to act the way I did. When it comes to my ex and my kids, I can get a little crazy.”

“I can tell.” You softened a little. “It doesn’t make up for how you treated me.”

“No, it doesn’t. I can sit here and say I’m sorry until I’m blue in the face, Y/N. I am sorry, if I could take it back I would. The last thing I ever wanted to do was make you think I only wanted you for sex because that’s not true. At least I don’t think it is.

Honestly I don’t know what I expected between us. I wasn’t looking to meet someone or start anything. I was just trying to get through life one day at a time and keep my head above water. Dating was the last thing on my mind.

But then, there you were. You just showed up in my life and made me believe I could be happy again. And I went and fucked that up by getting drunk.

I’m a mess ok? I can’t promise I’m not going to get wound up by something my ex-wife does and drink through the anger again. My life is a fucking disaster, quite frankly. And I’d understand if you didn’t want to get involved in the tsunami of my life, I get it. It’s a lot to ask of anyone. I have baggage and sometimes it’s too much for me to carry alone so I drink or I shut myself off from the world.

There are a million reasons for you to walk away. And I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I just hope that maybe you see something in me worth staying for.”

Spencer inhaled deeply after his long, sprawling rant.

He’d been sitting on the words all week, desperate for you to hear them. And now he had you in front of him he had to get them out before you left again.

You needed to know the full story, everything you were getting yourself into if in fact you wanted to get into it with him.

He needed to lay all his cards on the table and hope to god it wouldn’t completely terrify you.

You listened intently and took in every one of his words, sitting and swirling them around your brain for a few moments.

Spencer chewed erratically on his lip while he waited for you to respond.

When you did, your words took him a little by surprise.

“Look Spencer, I need to know, do you still have feelings for your ex? Because I don’t want to get in over my head for a man who’s hung up on somebody else.” You folded your arms across your chest in a way of creating a barrier between the two of you.

Spencer glanced back at the closed photo album, biting on the inside of his cheek.

“The truth is, I don’t know.” He looked back at you, tears glistening behind his eyes. “We got married before we had the chance to know each other. I always told myself that I loved her, sure, but I was never in love with her. I focused on my girls after she left, only letting myself think about what her leaving did to them. I told everyone I was fine because it was just a marriage of convenience.

No one thought we were going to last, myself included. My father walked out on me and my mom when I was ten. My mentor who hand picked me for the BAU left me with a note. People leave me. It’s a pattern. I guess I always thought she’d do the same. So I tell myself I don’t care and that I’m fine but really…I honestly don’t know how I feel.”

You appreciated his honesty. You were surprised by it and so was Spencer.

He wasn’t comfortable being so raw, so vulnerable. It made him feel exposed, as though his chest had been cut open and you were staring at his insides, watching the physical beat of his heart in his chest.

You shifted a little on the couch, unfolding your arms again so you could play with your hands in your lap.

“I uh…thanks I guess. For telling me the truth.” Your voice cracked a little.

Spencer moved closer to you, taking you by surprise. His large hands found your face and cupped your cheeks.

You felt yourself melt into his hold. Spencer’s skin on yours had a habit of doing that.

“I don’t know how I feel about my ex. But I do know how I feel about you.” He looked at you intensely, almost as though he was staring into your soul. “I never felt…when I first saw you…” he trailed off with a chuckle.

“Cat got your tongue, Doctor?” You smiled a little against his warm hands, feeling your previous anger towards him slowly dissipating.

“I have an IQ of one hundred and eighty seven but I swear when I look in your eyes it renders me dumb.” He exhaled to try and get his brain working. “I am infatuated by you. I have been since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I saw you that day on campus and I swear to god Y/N the whole world stopped turning for me. I have never in my life felt such a magnetic force pulling me towards someone.

There is something about you that just…it’s like my heart just stopped beating when my ex left and you were like the jolt of electricity that brought me back from the dead. I started to breathe again the moment I looked into your eyes. It’s like I’ve been sleepwalking through most of my life and now I’m wide awake and I…I…I am infatuated by you. Truly and utterly infatuated. So no, I don’t know how I feel about my ex but I damn sure know how I feel about you.”

His words had caused tears to well in your eyes. It was the most open he’d been with you, it was the most open he’d been with anyone in a long time.

Did it make you a complete idiot that you were falling for this? He’d admitted he didn’t know how he felt about his ex-wife, what if he realised somewhere down the line that he was still in love with her? What would that mean for you?

It was probably easier to walk away now. At least it should have been. But despite yourself you were already in too deep. Your feelings for Spencer had manifested at lightning speed and you were already hooked on him.

Chances were this would end in disaster. But wouldn’t it just be the most beautiful disaster?

“I’m not looking for a fling, Spencer. I’m not looking to just be a bit on the side while you resolve your feelings towards your ex. I’m not after something casual. And if you can only give me casual then I think it’s best if we-“ you were cut off suddenly when Spencer’s lips crashed against your own.

You whined a little, your lips parting and his tongue took the initiative to glide into your mouth.

He laid you back on the couch and held your face while he kissed you with bruising force. The passion laced in that kiss set your body aflame.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping him close. He explored your mouth with a combination of desperation and intrigue.

The weight of his body pressed you into the couch and you felt him growing hard almost immediately. He rolled his hips against yours and you moaned against his lips.

You moved one hand down his chest towards his crotch and started stroking him through his pants.

He bucked against you, moaning into your mouth.

“Fuck.” He panted. “Fuck, we can’t.”

Reluctantly Spencer tore himself away from you, a part of his brain screaming at him to kiss you again.

He pulled himself off you and sat up, trying to ignore the throbbing in his pants.

“My daughters upstairs. I don’t want…I don’t want to be the dad that has sex while his daughter is right upstairs.” He put his head in his hands. “And also, it doesn’t exactly help my case of showing you I want something more if I try to get you into bed at every available opportunity.”

And as turned on and as frustrating as it was, your heart melted.

“Spence?” You whispered, shuffling closer to him and stroking the back of his neck.

“Hmm?” He uncovered his face again and looked at you.

“You’re an amazing father.” You placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you.” He choked a little.

“So this isn’t just a fling?” You nervously chewed your bottom lip, needing to hear him say it.

He leant forward and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“You could never be just a fling. I can’t promise you forever Y/N because I can’t even promise myself that. The only long term relationship I’ve ever had was with Maeve and that ended so terribly that I am terrified of letting myself be vulnerable again. But I want to try. And I can promise you I will give you my all. I will give you every piece of my heart that is still mine to give. But you have to understand that my heart isn’t necessarily whole anymore, but I want you to have all the shards that I still have.” His eyes filled with tears again.

“Ok.” You nodded with a small smile.

“Ok?” He frowned.

“Ok, I might consider letting you take me out again.”

“How about tomorrow?” The tears in his eyes seemed to vanish only to be replaced with a sparkle.

“I thought you had your daughter this weekend?”

“Me and my friend Jennifer were supposed to be taking the kids to the park tomorrow but she owes me a favour.”

“What are you suggesting, Doctor?”

“JJ and her husband can handle the three kids. And the dog. Tomorrow I want to take you out.”

“You really don’t have to.” You shook your head. “I don’t ever want to get in the way of you spending time with your kids.”

“I spend all my time with my kids.” He chuckled. “One Sunday isn’t the end of the world. And besides, with Daisy so angry at her mom I have no idea when I’ll have a free weekend again.”

“I have one stipulation.” You cocked a playful eyebrow.

“What’s that?” Spencer frowned a little.

“Bring the dog. I love dogs.” You smirked.

“Trust me, you won’t love this one.” Spencer laughed.

“Not the way you do, no.” You giggled, standing up from the couch. “But bring the dog.”

“You will regret that.” Spencer stood too and walked you towards the door.

“We’ll see.” You opened the door and hovered in the entrance way. “So, tomorrow?”

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” Spencer leaned in and kissed you softly again.

But soft quickly turned passionate and he had to forcibly pull back before he got carried away.

“Goodnight, Doctor.” You laughed as you stepped onto the porch.

“Goodnight, Angel.” He smiled dopily as he watched you leave.

Daisy hid out of sight in the corridor, peeping through the crack in the living room door. She cradled Taco with her good arm.

She watched her dad close the door and lean back against it, a smile on his face bigger than any she’d seen on him for a while.

She didn’t need to read micro expressions to know her dad was actually happy.

It made Daisy smile too. She loved her dad and wanted him to be happy and she was smart enough to know he hadn’t really been happy since her mom left.

When Spencer moved away from the door and started shutting off the lights, she quickly and quietly scampered back upstairs and into bed before her dad realised she’d been spying on him.

She got curled up under her duvet with Taco under her arm just moments before the door reopened a crack and Spencer stuck his head inside.

She kept her eyes screwed tightly shut as her dad hovered in the doorway. After a few moments she heard him whisper, “sweet dreams, pumpkin. I love you.” And then the door closed again.

She opened her eyes and snuggled closer to the scruffy mutt.

“I love you too dad.” She whispered into the dark.

***

JJ was more than happy for Spencer to skip their park day and take Daisy with them, especially when she found out why.

Spencer however had a slight crisis of faith about the whole thing.

“Does it make me a terrible dad for palming off my daughter on you so I can spend time with a woman?” He fretted.

“Spence, you couldn’t be a terrible dad if you tried. It’s hard enough being a parent when there’s two of you. Being on your own and dating…you do what you have to do.” JJ tried to reassure him.

“I just…I don’t want to be like my dad.”

“Spencer,” JJ gripped his shoulder. “Your dad walked out on you. He just got up and left. You are having one day off, which rightfully should have been your day off anyway because Daisy was supposed to be with Maeve. You are absolutely nothing like your dad. Please stop worrying. Focus on Y/N. I’ve got this.”

God he didn’t know what he would do without JJ’s words of wisdom sometimes.

Still feeling a little guilty, he kissed his daughter goodbye and hopped in his car, along with Taco, and drove to Folger Park where the two of you were meeting.

He was a little late thanks to his crisis and you were waiting on a bench with coffees.

You lit up when you saw him approaching but it turned to a frown when you saw the hairy creature trailing behind him on a leash.

“That’s a dog?” You stared at it.

“I’m starting to become unsure of that myself.” He wrapped his free hand around you, cupping your lower back and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“He looks like a Gremlin.” You crouched down to inspect him better.

“I thought about getting him groomed but I’m scared of what I might find under there.”

“He’s got a cute little face. His ears are too long.” You giggled, patting the mutt on the head.

Taco responded by giving you a happy little bark and then attacking your face with his tongue.

“He likes you. I think. I don’t know, I haven't figured him out yet.”

“I think he likes me. Do you like me, Taco?” You continued to fuss him and he kept licking you.

“Ok, ok, that’s enough. I’m the only one that gets to use tongue with her.” Spencer tugged the dog away from you before lifting him up and sitting down on the bench with Taco in his lap.

“Are you jealous, Doctor?” You sat next to him, handing him one of the coffees.

“Of a mangy dog? Hardly.” Spencer scoffed.

“You’re going to give him a complex if you keep talking about him like that.”

“It’s a good job he can’t understand a word I’m saying then.” Spencer chuckled.

“You like the dog.” You smiled in amusement.

“I do not. Stop saying that.” Spencer grumbled.

“The dog certainly likes you.”

“As he should, I saved him from near death.”

“You like the dog.” You laughed to yourself, sipping your coffee.

“Please can we stop focusing on the dog? Just pretend he isn’t here.”

“Maybe we should walk him.”

“As long as we don’t talk about him, I’m fine with that.” Spencer set Taco back on the ground and the two of you stood up.

You strolled through the park sipping coffee and basking in the pleasantly warm weather. Spring was approaching and flowers were starting to blossom, the smell of the pollen in the air. Trees were regrowing their leaves, lining the path you walked in a welcome shade.

Taco stopped to sniff every flower they passed and got skittish when other dogs tried to greet him.

Spencer lost count of the amount of times he had to tell dog owners, “he’s nervous. I think. He’s weird.”

You chatted between yourself comfortably when Taco wasn’t demanding attention. Once the coffees were finished and disposed of you continued to walk.

Spencer rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows as the sun's warmth started to beat down on him.

At one point your hands brushed against each other’s and it made Spencer jump a little although he wasn’t sure why. It was like static electricity had passed between you. One that sent shocks right to his heart.

When it happened a second time he took it as a sign and without looking to see your reaction, he threaded his fingers in yours.

You glanced over at him with a smile and held his hand tightly.

“Is it weird to say that this feels…normal?” Spencer asked as you walked.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just…I don’t feel as though I’ve felt normal in a long time. Maybe ever in fact. But this, walking with you, hand in hand, even the dog…it just feels normal.” He shrugged.

“I’m glad.” You felt a small blush creep to your cheeks. “And it’s not weird. It does feel…normal.”

“And then we remember I have an ex-wife and two kids and really, this is far from normal?”

“Maybe.” You nodded. “Maybe it’s not normal. But it at least feels good.”

“It certainly does.” He gave your hand a squeeze. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I read about this place nearby called Barkhaus, it’s a bar-restaurant that welcomes dogs off leash, they even have an outdoor seating area with a fenced off dog park next to it. Seeing as we're hungry and you love dogs and I have a dog…”

“You love that freaking dog!” You giggled. “You researched places to take him!”

“I researched places to take you. And they had to accommodate dogs because you insisted I bring him.” He shook his head with a laugh.

“You are truly obsessed with this dog, you just don’t realise it yet. But yes, Barkhaus sounds perfect.”

“I will kick this dog in the face if it will prove to you I don’t like it.”

“You would not.” You rolled your eyes.

“No, you’re right I wouldn’t.” He laughed, tugging the leash in the new direction they were heading. “Come on Taco, let’s go make you some friends.”

***

The restaurant was only a few blocks away so the two of you continued your walk and left Spencer’s car near the park.

Barkhaus was an old industrial building and was very contemporarily decorated, with exposed brick walls and pipes decorating the ceiling. One wall was entirely covered in fake grass.

You got a table on the patio and Spencer coaxed Taco in the fenced off area where a couple of other much bigger, much more dog-looking dogs, were already playing.

The area had some wooden hurdles which the bigger dogs were having no trouble with but Taco was so small he just walked right under them.

The other dogs were curious about Taco, rightly so. They followed him around, sniffing him and watching his every move.

Taco didn’t seem like he much enjoyed the attention but Spencer hoped he’d ease into it. He really didn’t want to spend his afternoon worrying about the dog when he had more important things to focus on.

But he couldn’t help but be utterly fascinated by his stupid dog.

After a little while he heard you laugh and snapped his eyes away from Taco to see you watching him in amusement.

“You love that dog.” You giggled, picking up your menu as Spencer glared at you.

“I find him interesting.” He rolled his eyes, picking up his own menu. “I do not like him.”

“Hmm, sure.” You didn’t look up from the menu but he saw the smile on your lips.

You both ordered burgers and milkshakes while you watched Taco start to loosen up around the other dogs. It didn’t take long for him to start looking as though he was actually having a good time.

Spencer had moved his chair next to yours and slung his arm around your shoulders. You leant in close to him and threaded the fingers of his free hand with yours.

It felt natural. It was calming to have Spencer so close while you were wrapped in his protective hold, watching the strange creature grow accustomed to other dogs.

You sat like this until your food was brought over and you ate in companionable silence, Spencer glancing over his shoulder to check on Taco every few minutes.

Once you’d eaten, he sat back in his chair and sipped on his milkshake.

“So how would you feel about a weekend away?” He mused out loud.

“With you or in general?” You teased.

“Preferably with me.” He laughed around his straw. “My friend Rossi has a cabin near Lake Anna. It’s supposed to be incredibly romantic and I wondered if you might like to go with me?”

You felt yourself blushing and distracted yourself by taking a sip of your milkshake.

“What about Daisy? I thought she wasn’t keen on going to her moms right now?”

“Where there’s a will there’s a way.” He shrugged. “I’ll talk to her. She’s going to have to see her mom at some point. But if I can convince her to go…”

“I would love a weekend away with you.” You smiled brightly as Spencer reached across the table and took hold of your hand.

“Perfect. Great. I’ll call Rossi tomorrow and-”

“Reid?” A voice cut him off and he didn’t need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

He sighed, letting go of your hand and slowly turning, expecting to just see the person the voice belonged to but there were two people standing a few feet away, one of whom was holding a dog leash.

“OMGEE is it boy wonder!” Garcia screeched a little and was suddenly launching herself towards him while the voice he’d heard, belonging to Luke Alvez, hung back with Roxy.

Spencer pushed himself to his feet just in time to be swallowed in a bear hug by the bubbly tech analyst.

“What are you doing here?” She jiggled him a little before letting him go and her eyes landed on you. “Oh my gosh! Don’t tell me this is Y/N!”

You shyly stood and offered a small wave but then you too found yourself engulfed by the colourful woman’s arms.

“Uh…hi.” You giggled, wrapping your arms around the strangers neck in response.

“Spencer did not mention how utterly beautiful you are!” Garcia let you go but not before first squeezing your cheeks.

“Uh…I didn’t know Spencer had mentioned me at all.” You blushed a little, sidling up to him and he instinctively put a protective arm around you.

“Y/N, this is Penelope Garcia and Luke Alvez. I worked with them at the BAU.” Spencer offered up the introductions.

“And this is Roxy.” Luke pointed at his dog.

“She’s beautiful.” She smiled bashfully, sinking into Spencer’s hold.

“Thanks.” Luke smiled back at you. “I forgot you got a dog. This is the last place I expected to see you.”

“Yeah, he’s over there being weird or something.” Spencer motioned over his shoulder. “Are you two uh…”

“On a date.” Luke beamed brightly. “Yeah.”

“Oh wow, that’s great. I had no idea.”

“It’s early days.” Garcia nudged Luke’s shoulder with her own.

“We uh…haven’t told the team yet.” Luke added.

“My lips are sealed.” Spencer nodded in understanding. “Do you uh…want to join us? We’ve already eaten but we’re not in a rush, right?”

He glanced down at you and you looked back up at him and nodded.

For all your confidence, meeting Spencer’s friends had thrown you through a loop.

“Yeah sure, that would be great.” Luke agreed for both of them.

Spencer placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and let you go so he could procure two more chairs while you and Garcia slotted into the ones already at the table.

Luke deposited Roxy in the fenced off area and as if sensing Taco was Spencer’s dog, she padded right over to him.

And Taco didn’t shy away. He seemed to take an instant liking to Roxy which went against everything Spencer knew about his dog.

“Wow, look at him making friends.” you laughed a little, shuffling your chair closer to Spencer’s as you felt Penelope and Luke’s eyes on you.

“Roxy has a calm about her. People and dogs seem to pick up on her energy.” Luke smiled at you.

“I don’t want to talk about dogs.” Garcia leant forward on the table and you half thought she might lunge at you across it. “How did you meet our Mighty Professor?”

You looked from the brightly coloured blonde to Spencer as if you needed some kind of push.

He smiled at you in such a loving way, it helped in calming your nerves. His hand moved under the table and gently cupped your knee which helped even more.

“It was on my first day at Georgetown. I’m a TA and I got lost on my first day. Spencer showed me where I needed to go.” You felt him squeeze your knee encouragingly under the table.

“Like a knight in shining armour.” Garcia fawned.

“She wasn’t a damsel in distress, Garcia. I simply showed her the way to the psychology building.” Spencer chuckled at his friends over enthusiastic nature.

“Don’t downplay yourself, Reid.” She scolded him slightly.

“Yeah, don’t downplay yourself.” You giggled giving him a sideways glance.

“Have you met his kids?” Luke asked now.

“Oh no,” you shook your head. “We’ve only just started dating.”

Spencer swallowed, shrinking down in his chair a little but no one seemed to notice.

He hadn’t even considered that. He hadn’t thought that dating someone would eventually lead to them meeting his girls.

After the way Maeve had hurt them, he wasn’t exactly keen on letting another woman close to his daughters.

“They’re the cutest! You will adore them!” Garcia squealed a little, getting animated as she started talking about her nieces.

You glanced at Spencer who looked suddenly pale. His body was a little stiff and his hand on your knee had gone limp.

It was obvious only to you why that was.

He didn’t join in the conversation much after that and left you to be grilled by Garcia and Luke.

Eventually sensing they probably wanted to eat and enjoy their date and realising he needed to get back for Daisy, Spencer drew their lunch to a close.

After collecting Taco from where he was playing with Roxy, the three of you walked back to Spencer’s car in stilted silence.

You knew exactly why he was acting this way but you had no idea how to broach the subject.

When you reached his car and you both slipped inside, Taco settling onto your lap in the passenger's seat, you finally decided to say something.

“You know I’m not expecting to meet your kids right?” You spoke up as he was jabbing the key in the ignition.

He exhaled loudly and slowly turned to look at you.

“I never even thought about it.” He frowned. “This whole thing with you happened so suddenly that I never considered that dating meant the possibility of someone being introduced to my girls one day. And if I’m being perfectly honest with you, that scares me more than anything.”

You smiled sympathetically at him and reached out to take hold of his hand that was clutched around the steering wheel.

“Spence, we’ve just started dating, neither of us is ready to get your kids involved in our relationship. We just have to take things a step at a time. Day by day. But I guess one day, if things were to get serious then I would probably have to meet them. But that’s a bridge we cross if and when we come to it, ok?” You brushed your thumb over his knuckles to try and sooth him.

He nodded briskly but he was still frowning slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I’m sorry, this is just all so new to me. Dating and being a dad, you know?” He exhaled again.

“It's new to me too, I’ve never dated someone with kids before.” You chuckled, bringing his hand to your lips so you could lightly kiss his knuckles. “We’ll puzzle it out together, ok? But in the meantime, I remember there being talks of a weekend away?”

A bright smile suddenly broke out on his features, reaching up to his eyes.

“I’ll speak to Rossi tomorrow.” He returned the favour and kissed the back of your hand too before surprising everyone when he patted Taco’s head completely unprovoked.

“Sounds good.” you agreed as he let go of your hand and started the engine.

As he pulled away, you saw him glance at the dog a few times before speaking again.

“But the dog stays home. He’s a real mood killer.”

You couldn’t help but laugh and muss the dog’s scruffy head.

“Whatever you say, Doctor. Whatever you say.”

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @ssa-uglywhore27 @foxy-eva @kbakery @chrissyflo3 @simxican @aysixdy @givemeth @its-yagirl-raelynn @loonalockley

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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artbyblastweave · 2 years

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Gideon the Ninth Liveread, Chapter 11

We are now on Day three at Canaan house. This work does interesting things with time. Sometimes you get a chapter like chapter 6 that’s basically the equivalent of a training montage taking place over months; sometimes you get a three or four chapter run covering like an hour; here you get a chapter that officially begins to stretch out and volumize the total amount of time that the cast have canonically spent at Canaan house without much happening. I’m harping on this because of my ongoing conspiracy theory that this was a book written to maximize opportunities for fandom engagement; around the ring distribution scene in chapter 8, when I realized that this was like a very weird boarding school plot, I developed the theory that Muir was going to do some time jumps, leaving broad holes in the timeline where canon-adjacent stuff can be crammed in. This isn’t as drastic as what I was thinking of, but it fills a similar role; the rest of this chapter shows that while Gideon was sequestering herself, the tertiary cast spent two days getting at least somewhat acquainted with each other.

Also; as much as Gideon is ragging on Harrow for her chronic truancy (and I’ve read a couple of chapters ahead so I know her complaints are grounded) Gideon is, from the perspective of everyone else at Canaan house, exactly as opaque and inaccessible as Harrow.

“It was in this abandoned state....“ Okay, Gideon, as much as I ragged on Dulcinea for objectifying you in the last chapter, I assess your current state as more than slightly self-inflicted. Dulcinea wants you around. Harrow- the main functional constraint on your behavior, or at least the one you blame everything on- has no leverage here because she isn’t around. This whole dueling sequence indicates your ability to carve out a niche fairly easily. And really, you aren’t adequately questioning the idea that sticking like glue to Harrow’s charade is the only way out of your situation on the ninth. You could cheat! There are people around who might help you cheat! To the degree that you’re abandoned and without prospects, it’s because you’re hiding away!

....As I write from my lightless bedroom. Hmm.

Okay, enter Coronabeth. Alright. Listen. Somebody must have at least floated the idea of a Canaan-house dating sim, right? I can’t be the only one whose mind went here at this point, with the knuckle-kissing.

Jokes aside, I get the impression that Gideon is astoundingly attracted to Coronabeth and extremely susceptible to her charisma, but it’s unclear to me if she actually likes Coronabeth. The descriptor “an expression like an artillery shell mid-flight” indicates a level of discomfort; Gideon feels less in love and more ensnared, off-balance, following Coronabeth because she succumbed to Coronabeth. Coronabeth is in general treated by the narration of having a gravity that makes everyone defer to her like this.

I’ve decided that I like Magnus, at least in part because Gideon clearly does. This sequence is full of a lot of little signifiers that he’s actually a decent guy; he’s the only person in the room actively friendly to Gideon when she walks in, he’s fiercely but deftly protective of the fourthlings when Naberius is being a dick, he’s humble, he’s a wife-guy, he’s a fun-uncle, he cracks puns and immediately endears himself to Gideon by doing so. I think I called the Hammerlock thing; he’s like the empty, goofy, sanitized signifier of Empire, the fun aesthetic parts, the nobility and sportsmanship, but at a distance from any of the genocidal sausage that goes hand-in-hand with the real-life version. He’s very pointedly not good at being a cavalier- a teen with three months of training thrashes a grown man who self-identifies as the boy toy of the competent person in his dyad. He’s never seen real combat. My read is that he’s either going to die ineffectually (thus removing a voice of reason from play) or be secretly evil, but in the increasingly unlikely scenario that this turns out to be a takedown of his archetype, I am gonna say that he feels believably likable in the way such a person would need to be to have the social power associated with the gentleman adventurer role.

Also, to briefly revisit the AU logic from earlier- I’ve got this guy pegged as the “cool teacher.”

“Three Moves, Magnus!“ I love these little assholes. I love how these little pesterings are structured as intrusive asides rather than as part of the ebb and flow of the dialogue.

Alright, if Gideon’s implicit.... thing with Dulcinea is rooted in an aesthetic fascination and acts of service, Gideon’s impending.... thing with Coronabeth is rooted in the fact that Coronabeth is apparently aroused by Gideon’s massive capacity for violence. Nobody on the rock is capable of desiring Gideon for hinged reasons or being at all normal about it.

Can’t tell if Magnus’s “Am I getting old? Should Abigail and I divorce?” is a good-natured face-recoupment bit, or if the Fifth actually does have a “divorce your spouse if they’re inadequately martially competent” norm. Or if it is a joke, but a joke contextualized by that norm. And where is Abigail, anyway?

Also: Interesting that Gideon clearly has some residual affection and respect for Aiglamene. Heart growing fonder, et al, et al.

Okay, the whole Babs sequence adheres like glue to a lot of. A lot of high school and sports movie tropes. Scrappy underdog on the back foot until she breaks protocol, and then being lauded for being the more practical combatant even if her well-bred opponent is more skilled within the rules as defined. Preps vs… Goth-nerds? Gerds? Spiced up, however, by whatever deranged under-the-hood dynamics the thirds have going on. Is Naberius, like, a sibling to the twins, a boyfriend, an unholy fusion...? Also interesting is that Coronabeth seems interested in defusing Naberius rather than providing solidarity to him; her approach to the aftermath of the fight is definitely based around keeping in both Babs and Gideon’s good graces.

Also; Naberius is suspicious of Gideon. He knows enough about the Ninth’s MO that Gideon actually being good at Cavaliering is not usually how the ninth plays things. And he’s right- Ortus, martially incompetent Bone Donkey, should be there in Gideon’s place. This is another example of the dynamic present his introductory scene in chapter 9; he’s vastly more insightful and observant than the elitist prep snob archetype normally is, but he deploys that insightfulness basically purely in service of playing his archetype to the hilt by being a classist, self-absorbed dick.

And we leave off on the reveal that Harrow saw everything, after three chapters of total non-presence. Dollars to donuts that she’s gonna be pissy about Gideon doing things rather than politely tucking herself away like a piece of unused equipment while Harrow was AWOL. This is, incidentally, close to what I was predicting would happen as a result of Harrow siloing herself off from Gideon.

I should probably say something about the second cav, Dyas (first name unremembered) whose job in the story is basically to provide the above-validation that Gideon is the more practical fighter. I strongly suspect, given how little I’ve seen her name come up, and the fact her uniform is a literal red jacket, that she isn’t long for the narrative. I’ve seen chatter about the 2nd house necro, though. I wonder what she’s up to.

And, to round out, This chapter features the second or third time that Nonius, ninth-house founder, is referred to as some particularly-badass badass, anomalous in comparison to his descendants. I’m curious to see why said particularly badass badass set up his house in the middle of nowhere....

#gideon the ninth liveread #gideon the ninth #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #naberius tern #coronabeth tridentarius #magnus quinn #the locked tomb #tlt #the locked tomb liveread #thoughts #meta #blastweave livereads

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jojikawa · 2 years

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𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙄: 𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡.

𝘚𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 | 𝘍𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 | 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘪

✿ Word Count: 5.3k

✿ Summary: Unfortunately, you’ve been sentenced to marrying Satoru Gojo. That decision was made when the two of you were just children. The two of you had a similar power level so the arranged married was conducted. The married has been absolutely awful. The title of husband and wife didn’t deter him from being with other women in your presence. It made your heart ache. So you sought refuge in a friend…Kento Nanami. The one who became more than a friend. Satoru x reader ft. Kento

tw// cheating (from Satoru and the reader), angst, love triangle, NSFW THEMES.

| Masterlist

𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

Life was so cruel to you. You didn’t get a say in who you were able to be married to and of course, it had to be the worst person you’ve met.

You were Satoru Gojo’s fiancé. The two of you displayed similar powers when it came to being jujutsu sorcerers, so against your will, you were chosen to bear at least one child with Satoru anytime after you both became adults. You hate the process deeply.

You didn’t ignore your fiancé’s attractiveness. You’ve had a huge crush on him and have admired him since the two of you became teenagers. It just seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you. He would pine after other girls instead. You never understood why he wouldn’t give you a chance, especially if the two of you were destined to be together by “Jujutsu Sorcerer Law.”

To get your mind off things, you would often confide in one of Satoru’s friends. You felt like Suguru would leak information about your feelings to Satoru so you had found someone else.

Kento Nanami.

“I don’t believe it was that long.” He replied. “But I took a different route and went to the small restaurant you liked.” He then revealed that he had a disposable bento box…two of them, actually!

“Oh, nana-chan!” You took the food from him and ran to the kitchen to see what was inside. You were always so eager for good food, especially when it was his cooking. Too bad this was take-out!

“You know,” he said. “You can just call me Kento.”

“Ken-Chan!”

What a horrific nickname. Couldn’t be as bad as “nanamin” tho.

As the two of you ate together, you mostly sat in silence. Kento knew there was some underlying sadness that you wouldn’t display but the cracks would show whenever you weren’t trying to brighten someone else’s day.

“(y/n). Have you thought of becoming a sorcerer for the academy? I think the children there could really use your guidance.” He suggested. Having you around at work would be pleasant, after all.

You tensed up a little. Suddenly, you weren’t hungry anymore and had no sense of taste. “U-Um. That’s sweet and all.” You began to say. “I would love to help and teach but I just…” You trailed off and made brief eye contact with him. “…don’t really feel like seeing Satoru right now. We haven’t talked in weeks and I would like to keep it that way.” You added.

Although you lived with Kento, Satoru would try reaching out to you but you would usually refuse to speak. Your heart was too broken. Honestly, the relationship was probably irreparable. It was literal years of pain you’ve dealt with.

Kento opened his mouth to say something but then he closed it. He had to respect your boundaries. “I understand.” He mumbled. He then perked up at the sound of you closing your food container.

“Thank you for getting this for me.” You smiled warmly as you stood up. “Done already?” Kento questioned, wondering if he had said something wrong. It was probably a bad idea to ask you to work at a place where your cheating husband would also be at.

“Yes! It was very good.” It had become so obvious your smile was fake but he could still appreciate how pretty you were, no matter what kind of smile it was.

You then quickly removed yourself from the dining area, leaving your bento behind with food that was barely touched. Kento took it upon himself to put your things in the fridge just in case you would come back for it later. He figured you would be off to bed so he decided to get some rest as well.

The following day, Kento got up bright and early to prepare for a surprise he had thought of while in bed the night before. He didn’t like seeing you down and would attempt to cheer you up. You were always affected by Satoru’s actions whether the two of you spoke or not because of the inevitable.

Kento put his cooking skills to use and made pancakes. They were simple but he would always try to spice them up with cinnamon, powdered sugar, or fruits. He would cut them up and leave them out for you to decorate your pancake platter as you choose. While looking around in the fridge, he saw that your leftovers were gone. So you did come back for the rest.

He let you sleep in and waited patiently for you to show yourself for the first time of the day. He thought that your morning grogginess was adorable!

He was in the middle of drinking from his mug when you came into the kitchen. Still dressed in your pajamas with unkempt hair and an unwashed face.

“You made pankēki~” Your voice was extremely soft.

You made your plate and put your toppings on. You sat next to Kento who seemed to have already eaten or not wanted any pancakes.

“You’re not having any?” You asked before stuffing your face with such good quality food. “No. I had my share.” He replied before resuming his drinking from the cup he held.

You giggled and continued to eat.

“This is so good, Ken-Chan! Where did you learn to cook like this?” Was along the lines of what you’d say after a good meal. Before you, he had only cooked for himself and now he was seeking praise from a woman who, despite living with him, was taken by someone else.

Suddenly, Kento asked:

“Do you want to go out?”

“Hm?” You instinctively replied. “Go where?”

Kento was nice enough to take you to the local mall. He was kinda out of the loop of what women were into since he hadn’t even thought of something like this, so it would be better to just take you instead of trying to give you something.

“Wait, you’re really letting me use your credit card?” Your voice was full of disbelief as you examined the black metallic card that had gold trimming. “But you’re always talking about how working sucks! I would hate to use up all your money.”

“We don’t have to worry about that right now.” He reassured. “I don’t believe there’s anything in this complex that could possibly max out my monthly expenses.”

You smiled hard. “Okay! We should make it fun then. I want to see what you’d get me to see how well you know me and I’ll do the same for you!” You clasped your hands together and did cute gestures when you talked.

Kento found it tragically interesting that you and Satoru couldn’t get along. You were just like him…minus the headaches. They do say opposites attract and those who are alike repelled each other.

“With my own money?” You heard him say. You furrowed your eyebrows at him. His tone was always so blunt and his expression was unchanging.

“Sorry. You can go choose a store now.” He told you.

“Ugh!”

You treated yourself first by picking out a few cute outfits. You wanted to find something super cute that you could wear while your slayer curses. You tried to get Kento to say something like “You look nice” or even “You look pretty.” But he always kept direct compliments about your appearance to himself.

After you had finished shopping for yourself, Kento decided to play the game that you talked about. You went first, figuring that Kento would appreciate something nice like a watch, a mug, or even a new tie! You couldn’t tell.

“I’ll be back!” You told him.

Kento patiently waited for you to get the gift. He had to admit that he was a bit anxious about your return. He tried to occupy himself by looking around or trying to guess the item.

You came out a little while later with a cute plastic bag and a box inside. “Here you are! Don’t open it until you get home.” You informed him.

Now, it was Kento’s turn. He thought of you being more on the soft side, so maybe you would appreciate something like a large plush toy. Would that be too childish? Perhaps, an expensive purse would be a nicer gift…but how often would you be able to use and appreciate it if you were exercising curses? You were such a unique individual.

Kento had only been gone a few minutes when felt a presence behind you, followed by a big warm hand patting you on the head.

“Hey there, pretty girl.”

Oh. It was-

“S-Satoru…?” You turned around to see your infamous fiancé in some casual wear and his signature round sunglasses instead of his usual blindfold.

“What are you doing here?” Your confident and bubbly demeanor seemed to have vanished and now you felt so small under his eyes. “I decided to reward the first years with a trip to the mall.”

Behind him, you could see three teenagers hanging out. One of them was a girl. She had brown hair and wore the traditional uniform and was standing next to two boys. One with black hair that you knew to be Megumi and the other had pink hair.

Satoru then turned to them before saying “You guys won’t believe who I just ran into! Check it out!” Satoru put his arm around you and leaned down to your level for a hug.

“You’re married to her?!” The brown-haired girl seemed to be distraught at the idea that her super annoying teacher had someone who enjoyed his company.

The pink-haired boy lit up. “Wow! Gojo is always talking so much about you. Is it true that you’re just as strong as him?!”

“u-uh…” You were at a loss for words. Satoru talked about you a lot? They even knew you were engaged to him. You put on a fake smile and made it match your eyes. “We use different techniques but yes, it does seem like we’re meant for each other.” You joked with a false giggle. Gosh, you hated him sometimes.

Satoru hadn’t been out with you very often so he never had any opportunities to see you in casual wear. You looked so cute wearing a crop top long-sleeved shirt and skirt. Your top had a heart cut out over your chest that allowed him to look straight down at your cleavage due to his height. Your skirt was also relatively short but you had on black fishnets with white frilly socks with your heels that took the attention away from your bottom and directed more to your toned legs.

‘She looks like a model!’ Nobara thought to herself.

“So why are you here, Ms. (y/n)? Gojo told me that you’d be coming to the Sorcerer academy as a teacher very soon.” Megumi asked. You knew the kid through Satoru but hadn’t spoken to him recently since you’ve chosen to live apart. He’s growing up.

“I’m just here doing a bit of shopping.” You answered as honestly as you could.

Satoru then turned to the children. “How about you guys go on for now and we meet back here in an hour?” He suggested.

The three of them perked up. Shopping with Sensei Gojo’s card??

“It was nice seeing you, Ms. (y/n),” Megumi said his farewell. “Nice to meet you, (y/n)!” Yuji seemed to be enticed by your appearance, not able to hide his rosy cheeks since he first saw you. “Goodbye Mrs.(y/n). I hope to see you again!” Nobara said sweetly before they all disappeared.

“Are those your students?” You asked him.

“They sure are. I’m shaping the new generation.” He smirked down at you. You weren’t able to get over how vibrant his eyes were in contrast to his white eyelashes.

“I see. I hope you’re a good mentor.” You replied. Your heart went out to these kids. “But why did you tell them I’m working as a teacher if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well, Megumi asked about you and I couldn’t let him down,” Satoru answered. He seemed like he was trying to get at something. He made himself to be a good guy to everyone else and now he was talking to you.

“So, why lie? I don’t want to feel like-”

“Hey, it’s alright. Take your time…”

The two of you stood in silence for only a moment before he added:

“And why aren’t you returning my calls? I see you leave my texts on ‘read’ too.”

You knew Satoru better than anyone else despite your situation. You understood that his biggest insecurity that had been associated with you was the fear of rejection.

Deep down, he appreciated you more than anyone else. Even when he would break your heart…

He cupped your face in one hand, letting his fingers trail down your jawline to your chin that he grabbed, and made you look up at him.

“I’m still upset at you. Just let me be mad, okay?” You swatted his hand away. You looked so cute when you were annoyed, he just hoped that you still liked him the same way.

It took a long time but he realized that he was finally ready to commit to the marriage and was willing to do whatever it took to begin repairing the relationship.

“Okay.” He replied, removing his hand and giving you a bit of space. He eyed the small bag you had been holding onto for Kento. “On a date with ‘Nanamin’, huh?” He leaned down to your height and spoke in a way he knew would tease you.

“Eh!?” You jumped. “We aren’t on a date-”

“Oh, it’s you.” The voice was vastly different and monotone. You looked to see that it was Nanami, coming back with a few different-sized bags in his hand.

“Kento! What took you so long?” You pouted and whined as you met him halfway. “What are all these?” You questioned, trying to guess what was inside before seeing. “It was a hard decision so I just got them all,” Kento answered.

“Nanamin!” Satoru cheered, a bit annoyed at how firm of a grasp he had on your attention but he wasn’t going to be bitter about it.

“Aw, but I only got you one…” You frowned, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. “I’ll be back. I’m gonna look for more stuff. Give me your card!”

“(y/n), I’m sure whatever you picked out on your own is fine as it is. There’s no need to compensate.” Kento said. On the inside, he was happy that you would go to such great lengths to do something for him, even if it were with his own money. He was grateful for your company.

“Give!” You repeated, causing the overworked ex-salaryman to bring out his wallet and give you his credit card. You then ran off, leaving the two men behind to wait for you.

Now that they were alone, Satoru could kinda say what he had on his mind to Kento. “So, Nanamin-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“I do. I’m not kicking her out just so that she can continue to be uncomfortable with you.”

Maybe it was Satoru’s personality or his current attitude, but Kento just couldn’t understand why he made the choices he did. It’s why he held no respect for him.

“She’s been out of the house for four years already. How much longer am I gonna have to go to bed by myself?” Satoru tried his best to keep up his usual outer persona but sometimes, it got hard when it was clear no one was on his side. This wasn’t a situation he could charm his way out of.

“I don’t know.” Nanami then adjusted his tie. “But you made that decision a long time ago. You’ll need to wait until she’s ready.”

Nah. Satoru didn’t wanna wait.

It was obvious that he wasn’t a good guy to you. He was emotionally immature and has never been punished for his actions. Commitment to a relationship terrified him and he craved the feeling others brought him. Not to mention, it pissed off the higher-ups. It was time for him to stop rebelling the way he was.

When you got back, Kento was alone. Satoru left.

“Where did Satoru go?” You asked, arriving with various bags full of gifts. You looked around again to see if you could see his iconic hair anywhere in the crowds.

“It seemed like he made you uncomfortable so I asked him to leave,” Kento answered. You perked up at his statement. “O-oh, Kento, you didn’t have to do that. Thank you. We should go home. My ankles are aching from all this walking!”

The two of you hadn’t been at the mall very long so he assumed you were being dishonest. He didn’t stress, though.

When you both arrived at Kento’s place, you showed him what you had gotten him. It was an all-new set of baking utensils. He wasn’t a man who had time to sink into his hobbies now that he was a sorcerer so his usual things were dated, damaged from being in the oven or over a hot flame.

“How do you like it?” You asked eagerly. You tried hard to examine Kento’s face but it seemed like he was hard to get a reaction out of.

“I think this is very thoughtful of you. I appreciate this, (y/n).” The man uttered. You could even make out a small smile gracing his lips…(if you squint hard enough.)

So, you smiled too. “I would love to help you bake something sweet with them.” You chirped. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

You then grabbed and opened one of the gifts that Kento got you. Your eyes widened upon the sight. It was an expensive pair of sunglasses. They were narrow and the ends were pointed, kinda like cat eyeglasses. It would highlight how alluring you could be at times.

His other gifts consisted of small jewelry. You figured that he didn't know too much about what to get a girl so he played it safe. It was still super sweet, nonetheless.

You felt so in-debt to him.

The tension was rising. You felt like there would be no other way to thank him than with a kiss…it felt so wrong but in times like this you thought of how little Satoru cared about you.

“Kento…” The man listened to his name leave your pretty swollen lips. He watched as your cheeks became visibly red, avoiding eye contact cutely.

You slowly scooted over to him and without warning, you planted a chaste kiss on his lips, causing you to be a blushing mess.

You couldn’t tell but he was blushing too…so much. You kissed him. He wanted the best for you but at the same time, he wanted you all to himself.

Before you could pull yourself away, he grabbed your wrists and guided you back to him, and lips crashed together again. This time it was more hungry, like how Kento had been starving.

He had been waiting forever as it would never happen. His crush on you had been lingering for close to 10 years and it had become so strong the day you walked out on Satoru after he ditched you again for some woman who couldn’t even compare to you.

What happened next was something you would have never seen Kento Nanami doing! He picked you up, taking you to his room and tossing you onto the bed.

“K-Kento?” You squeaked, feeling yourself bounce lightly onto the bed.

You weren’t dumb. You knew what was about to happen.

You felt the bed dip at his weight as he crawled on top of you.

“Do I have your permission to do this?”

His eyes were clouded and pleading for you to say yes.

Just say yes.

Just say yes!

“…Yes.”

Your core began to heat up as Kento planted wet kisses on your neck. You gasped and whimpered at the contact. The pleasant sensations your moans gave him went straight to his cock.

As you could guess from his personality and caring nature, Kento is a gentle lover.

He was on top of you but he didn’t trap you with his weight. He kisses you so graciously on your neck but didn’t bite and suck so that he left ugly bruise-colored marks.

He always asked for permission as well.

“May I kiss you?”

“Can I grab you here?”

“Are you ready? Can I do this?”

Before inserting himself into you, know that you wanted it through your wetness that had been forming in the area of your pussy but most of all through your replies to him.

“Yes…Yes…Yes!”

You squeezed your eyes shut, taking in his length and size very easily. Kento thrust in and out, slowly and fucked you gently. There was so much passion.

By the end, he picked up the pace, thrusting harder with the sound of skin slapping very evident. You couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Kento—I’m gonna cum!” Your words, were so perverted but your voice, was so quiet and soft.

“We can do it together.” He whispered into your ear, pounding into you harshly. “Cum for me, baby girl.”

And that alone was enough to make you cream all over him. You don’t know why but just the way he spoke to you. It was so commanding. It made you feel like you belonged.

You squeezed your eyes shut as he filled you up, groaning deeply and loudly into the crook of your neck.

“Kento…” You called again shyly. Your face was red with pleasure but also embarrassment from enjoying the company of another man this way.

He pulled out and immediately began to do aftercare. He helped you freshen up in the bathroom and did small things like fetching your water and providing comfort.

These feelings he had for you and this act gave him so much anxiety but he knew that you would probably be suffering the most from this.

He just hoped that you could finally see your true value. There are people, like him, that love you and would never hurt you.

But it somehow felt like he was the only one who knew the gravity of the situation. He worried for you now. He was so self-centered at times.

There has been some silence between you two for a bit. You thanked him for the aftercare and began to get ready for bed when you approached him before he could leave.

“Ken-Chan…how long were you, um, waiting to do that…?” You asked innocently. The way you played with your hair and avoided eye contact made him feel so alpha.

“I will be completely honest with you.” He muttered. “For a very long time.”

Your eyes widened and if you hadn’t been hiding your face then he would see you blushing. You always knew Kento to be reserved, almost emotionless. You would never have thought that he would say these words or do such unspeakable acts with you.

“Even though Satoru and I…?”

“Yes, I know it’s wrong of me to think of you in such a manner, but I couldn’t help myself. I am sorry.”

“Y-You don’t have to be sorry. I consented. I-I’m gonna get some sleep. Thank you for everything.” You were about to run off but then you figured you should compensate him for his troubles.

You hugged him before running to your room.

Upon entering your room, you shut the door slowly and quietly before turning to slump your back against it.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath. “Maybe I need some sleep.” You walked over to your bed that hadn’t been made since you went out immediately.

You ended up leaving your phone home for mental health purposes and hadn’t used it for most of the day.

You were barraged with a dozen notifications, ranging from social media to your health apps and…texts from Satoru.

You went straight to your messages, seeing that he sent multiple in a row.

『 Hey, it’s Megumi. I asked for your number after we saw you at the mall. Gojo said you would be coming to Jujustu High tomorrow. I would love to learn from you. 』-2:48pm

Wait for what??

And then there was another message. Both are from Satoru.

『 I need to talk, it’s important. I know you hate me but you’re the only person I can talk to. 』-9:32pm

You thought for a moment. Satoru told Megumi you would be a teacher at his school and now he needed to speak to you about something.

You texted back:

『 I don’t want to talk. And I’m not coming to the school because you are there every day. You lied to Megumi about it too. Dickhead. 』-9:40pm

『 Are you able to talk right now? 』-9:40pm

Before you could fully read the text, Satoru appeared before you in your room using his powers. This startled you and you almost screamed at the sight of him. He was wearing his blindfold but also a face mask so he just looked like a burglar.

“What the fuck?! What are you doing here? I told you not to-!”

“Shh…” Satoru lifted his blindfold to reveal his blue eyes. “It’s just me!” He yelled hoarsely.

“I-I know it’s you, dumbass.” You whispered. “I never asked you to come here.” You got up from your bed and pushed him, but he didn’t budge. Displaying his strength in his usual manner.

“I need to talk with you. I know that this is the only way I can get you to listen to me.” Satoru leaned down to your height, placing either of his hands on the sides of your arms.

“What? What is it that could be so important that you need to bother me like this? Sudden you care about-“

“I need you, (y/n). You’re the only one I can trust.”

There were cracks of desperation in his expression. It was almost out of character for him. Whatever he was doing, it was working and you wanted to know more.

“You need me…? For what?” You asked timidly. You had a feeling. There was only one thing Satoru was determined to do as a person.

He wanted to reform Jujustu Sorcerer society. It was the only thing he’d talk about to you. You knew it. That had to be it.

“I want to make things right with you.”

Wait, huh?

“What? I’ve known you since I was 12 years old and now you want to try being nice to me?” You stepped away from him but he took a step forward.

“I know it sounds crazy but I just need you to trust me. I’ll even prove it. Let me take you on a date!” His energy was bright but it just seemed like a last-ditch effort, like he knew that you’d say no to him.

“But why?” You asked. “This is all so sudden. You’ve had time to talk to me. I understand making mistakes, but you wanted nothing to do with me, and…it just hurt!” You cried. You felt a weight on your chest and suddenly your eyes became heavy.

He could tell you were sad. He made you so sad. After all, he had no idea that you held feelings for him because for some reason he felt like you were a girl he couldn’t get.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Satoru cooed, smiling his dumb smile and patting your head. “I promise that I’ll make everything right. Just give me one more chance. I’ll even take you out. Be ready in the morning.”

But why…why now?

You felt tears and anxiety building up. After all this time, why was he trying to be a better husband…when you’ve already lost feelings…?

“Okay…” You squeezed your eyes shut and turned away from him. “But why does it require me to be a teacher? Why did you set me up for that?” You questioned, your voice a bit firmer from before, reinforcing how much you didn’t like that he used your name like that.

“Mmm.” Satoru pretended to think for a moment but a man like him doesn’t forget such small details.

“For Megumi.”

You turned to Satoru. “M-Megumi? He asked about me?”

Your voice and expression made the sorcerer laugh. “Ahh, yeah. Since the day you walked out that door, all that kid did was ask about you. You’re like his mom that went out for milk and never came back.”

You glanced over at your phone, remembering the texts that Megumi had sent a few hours earlier. “I…didn’t know he missed me like that. You were his guardian so…”

“Why didn’t you give him my number?”

“No reason.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You just like chaos, huh?” You muttered. “Okay. I’ll stop by the school or see Megumi but I don’t know if I’ll be staying.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“Shut up. You’re so annoying.” You rolled your eyes at him. “Now leave.”

“Or…” The tall man strode past you, towards your bed. “…I could stay the night.”

“This is Nanami’s home…” You blushed deeply but his smirk only got smirkier. “It’s not right.” You added.

“How? I’m your husband. We are esteemed guests!” Satoru opened his arms, signaling for you to come to him.

“Satoru…”

You complied, crawling into bed with him. You stayed at a distance but he closed the gap himself, hugging you close to him.

You took in his warmth. It felt nice to not sleep alone for the night. Just having his presence there was enough to stir up anxiety. What was supposed to happen between you and Kento? Should you tell Satoru about your experiences with Kento? Should you say to him that you like Kento now?

You…didn’t know.

#satoru gojo x reader #satoru #gojou satoru x you #Satoru Gojo #Satoru Gojo x black reader #jjk x black reader #jujustu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #Jujustu kaisen x black reader #gojou satoru x reader #nanami kento #kento nanami smut #jjk headcanons #jjk smut #Jujustu Kaisen #gojo x you #fluff #angst #Jjk love triangle

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the-one-where-casey-watches-tv · 5 months

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True Detective episode 1.08 "Form and Void"

I love anthologies. I love the endless potential, and the early seasons of American Horror Story really prove the extent of that potential. It’s also so much cleaner than having a bunch of spinoffs (tell me why American Horror Stories is a thing? Anthologies by definition don’t need a spinoff. Just do it next year). But the later seasons of AHS also embody the downfall of anthologies: if they do too good a job, it can be hard to get excited about the next season because you know that everything you liked about it will be different next time around.

I’ve only seen season one of True Detective, and I’m really trying to talk myself into pressing on, not because I didn’t like it, but because I liked it so much. The people behind this show built themselves some massive shoes to fill, and I’m skeptical that it can be done. Everything about this first season was incredibly deliberate; it was gripping and compelling at every turn, and it all served a larger theme. It even managed to come around to an uplifting final message, which I was pleasantly surprised by as this was one of the darkest things I’ve ever watched.

I tend to cover finales, and that’s because endings are so important to me. It absolutely makes or breaks my entire impression of a show (I reminisce sometimes with “remember when I liked Ozark?”), and True Detective’s season one finale drew a powerful underscore on everything I’ve loved throughout this entire journey. This is a story with purpose, that knew exactly what it was about. As a whole, it had the power of its own Rust Cohle who said things like “I know who I am. After all these years, there’s a victory in that.” and “Given how long it’s taken me to reconcile my nature, I don’t think I’ll forego it on your account”.

Matthew McConaughey in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

“Form and Void” finds Rust and Marty on a boat, holding Steve Geraci at gunpoint, a former sheriff who holds key insight into the Marie Fontenot case. Cohle forces Geraci to handle the tape he stole from Tuttle and watch it, eyes glued to the TV. Geraci watches, screaming as he does, reacting even more strongly than Marty. Some people seem to find it cheesy that rather than showing us the tape, they show us these ‘hard, seasoned men’ struggling to watch it, but I think that’s exactly the point.

A crucial thing this show is about is the difference between bad and evil. Marty’s a pretty bad guy I’d say- lies, cheats, beats people up, calls his daughter and wife whores- but he’s also a human being with emotions and limits and can function in our society. The crimes of this case are on the fringes of humanity. This show does a great job displaying the depths of these atrocities without forcing us to look at something unspeakable. Making the characters do it for us not only shows us the nature of the crimes, but the nature of the people. Errol Williams Childress, the man with the face like spaghetti, the undocumented Louisiana man who committed these crimes, is as evil as a person can be while still being a human being (“he’s worse than anybody”). And fighting him with such force makes Marty a ‘good’ man in the biblical sense, despite being so flawed that he’s hard for regular folks like you and me to really get behind.

Marty struggles a lot with his conscience over the course of this story, and Maggie ultimately acknowledges that he “didn’t know who he was, so he didn’t know what to want”. Rust, who, of course, knows exactly who he is, doesn’t have patience for Marty’s hemming and hawing. When Marty asks if Rust ever wonders if he’s a bad man, Rust doesn’t hesitate to say that “the world needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door”. The idea that bad men can do good- by protecting the world from worse men- is a major takeaway, and one that I really like.

Woody Harrelson in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

And Rust may have been stewing in a storage unit obsessing over this for years, but it’s ultimately Marty who finds the key clue that brings everything to a head. He recognizes a fresh coat of green paint on a house in Erath, drawing the connection to the green ears in the description of their subject. Adrenaline pumping from the new discovery, Marty and Rust head out to find out who painted the house.

An interview with the old woman who lived in the house in ’95 confirmed that she had her house painted by men who worked for her parish- the Tuttle church community. Rust and Marty were able to track her husband’s payment for the job to Childress and Son Maintenance, which yielded an address to the Childress property. They head over. This is it. This is the place. Rust can tell by the taste of the air.

“That taste. Aluminum, ash. I’ve tasted it before”. Marty, used to his partner saying weird shit, but ever the human being who’s realizing they’re walking into a life-threatening situation, simply says, “you still see things ever?”. Rust replies, “It never stops, not really. What happened to my head, it’s not something that gets better”. Not a reassuring answer to Marty, but Rust’s proximity to insanity is the very thing that keeps him safe amongst actual psychopaths. Similarly, Marty’s ability to read people is a skill the show makes sure we’re aware of despite his gruff, bumbling personality.

That skill is what made Marty feel comfortable calling Papania, one of the two interrogating officers when they arrived on the scene. But alas, there’s no service. That’s typically a frustrating and unnecessary roadblock in suspense stories, but it just feels realistic out here in bumfuck Louisiana. So, Marty forces his way into the home in search of a landline while Rust secures the perimeter. Marty overpowers Childress’s girlfriend (wife?), but not before she can say some truly haunting shit about the man they’re here for.

Ann Dowd and Glenn Fleshler in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Rust, meanwhile, has encountered him face to face. He has his gun pointed squarely at Childress and tells him to get on his knees, but Childress simply says “no” and runs off. Why Rust didn’t just shoot him, like Marty did to LeDeux’s crony 17 years ago, is a valid question. I think at this point in time, Rust has a lot less stamina for bureaucratic coverups, paperwork, and debriefs and a much greater willingness to die. Not to mention, they don’t really have any legal standing to be here in the first place this time around. He’s going to see it through, all the way through, in the beating heart of this operation.

Which turns out to be an absolutely terrifying maze of tunnels lined with stick-work much like those found at the crime scenes. Rust winds his way through, but every corner he rounds with his gun drawn just makes the dire situation all the more evident. He is at every disadvantage, no idea where he’s going, while Childress clearly has eyes on him. His voice carries through the maze, somehow coming from somewhere, taunting Rust, guiding him right where he wants him. “Come on inside, little priest. To your right, little priest. This is Carcosa. You know what they did to me? What I will do to all the sons and daughters of man? I am not ashamed. Come die with me, little priest.”

Woody Harrelson in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

I’m obsessed with Childress calling Rust little priest. In addition to the obvious irony of this being a church-based cult- and Rust looking down at organized religion altogether- he is super preachy in his way. He says some stuff throughout this whole season that really grinds you to a halt. My favorite is one of his earliest revelations of his personality, one that stuns Marty into regretting having asked him anything at all: “I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, an accretion of sensory experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming, stop reproducing, and walk hand in hand into extinction. One last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”

It may not be Jesus, but it’s a hell of a response to the simple question of “are you a Christian?”. And when it comes down to it, isn’t sharing your opinion on humanity and what we should do with it all that preaching really is?

Anyway, Rust enters the offshoot of the tunnels that Childress directs him to. It turns out Marty was right to be worried about those hallucinations of Rust’s. He looks up at the sky, visible several feet up into the air, and a spiraling galaxy fills his field of vision. Rust is distracted by it when Childress charges him with a knife. If that hadn’t happened, I think Rust would’ve gotten him in one. But Childress stabs him deep in the stomach and twists, holding him up in the air by the blade.

Matthew McConaughey in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Marty bursts in behind them, prompting Childress to drop the deeply wounded Rust to the ground. Marty doesn’t hesitate to fire three shots into Childress that hit him in the shoulders and chest, seemingly to no effect. Childress charges Marty, hurling an axe head-over-handle until it buries itself in Marty’s chest. Marty dislodges the axe and uses it and all his strength to hold Childress at bay.

When it comes to scary things, I’m usually most affected by the occult. Things like demons, ghosts, possession etc. are terrifying to me. Things you can always see, that die for good in ways we can measure and understand typically don’t bother me as much. But Childress is so fucking scary. The ideology and staging of the killings was eerie every step of the way, but this final confrontation is so well executed. Childress is as powerful and able to withstand as much as I can reasonably believe possible in a human being, and Marty and Rust suffer the most serious of injuries that they can plausibly walk away from. Rust’s managing to get to his gun and shoot Childress in the skull is, in a way, scary in and of itself because it confirms that this really was an actual person who walked among us.

Matthew McConaughey and Glenn Fleshler in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Marty and Rust have had a bond all along, but their recovery together in the hospital is a wholesome confirmation of that. Despite everything that happened between them and the rage Marty felt towards him when they parted ways years ago, Marty and Maggie both refused to entertain the idea that Rust had done something evil. In fact, they took offense to the thought, putting an abrupt end to any conversation that started to go that way.

After Childress is dead, Marty crawls to Rust and puts pressure to his stab wound while they wait for help to arrive. Recounting it later, Marty says he sat there “with his friend’s head in my lap”. Once both of them are lucid in the hospital, Marty, less seriously injured, wheels himself to Rust’s hospital room. Rust is himself, that is to say, not warm and cuddly, instead preoccupied with the fact that he had come across Childress in their original investigation and failed to put the pieces together. But Marty takes him in stride, telling him not to ever change, and he’ll “be back tomorrow, buddy”. They send each other off with a flip of the middle finger.

Marty proves himself the most at the very end. I was impressed with him for understanding his faults and truly giving Maggie the space to move on. And I was impressed with him for staying by Rust’s side even as he continued to heal faster than him. Despite Rust’s resistance to the idea, Marty insists on seeing to Rust having a place to stay when he’s released- that things are “already arranged”.

In the rawest- and most optimistic moment of the whole show- Marty wheels Rust out under the stars for a non-sanctioned smoke break. Rust breaks down, in itself a true sign of his bond with Marty, and opens up through his tears: “There was a moment… I know when I was under in the dark, that something… whatever I’d been reduced to, you know, not even consciousness… it was a vague awareness in the dark, and I could… I could feel my definitions fading. And beneath that darkness, there was another kind. It was deeper, it was warm, you know? Like a substance. I could feel, man, and I knew, I knew my daughter waited for me there. It was so clear. I could feel her. I could feel… I could feel a piece of my pop too. It was like I was a part of everything I ever loved, and we were all… the three of us… just fadin’ out. All I had to do was let go. And I did. I said ‘darkness, yeah, yeah’. And I disappeared. But I could… I could still feel her love there, even more than before. There was nothing but that love. Then I woke up.”

Still from "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

We’ve heard from Marty, from the Tuttle parish, and various believers along the way, that there is more beyond. More after. But hearing Rust say it makes me believe it. He was wrong about there being nothing and us being no one. It’s a beautiful moment. But there’s more.

Rust breaks down after this, and Marty shows a soft side of his own. He tries to bring Rust back by asking him about something he’d mentioned years ago- that he used to make up stories about the stars when he lived in Alaska. Either Rust humors him or the invitation to talk about that really does anchor him, at least enough to ponder some more; either way, he finishes Marty’s prompt.

RUST: I tell you, Marty, I’ve been up in that room looking out those windows every night here and just thinking… It’s just one story. The oldest. Light versus dark.

MARTY: Well, I know we ain’t in Alaska, but… appears to me the dark has a lot more territory.

RUST: Yeah. You’re right about that.

They ponder the night sky a little longer. Rust asks Marty to take him to the car. He’s had enough of hospitals. Marty knows Rust well enough to look out for him, but not to argue with him. He obliges. As they’re about to part ways:

RUST: You know you’re lookin’ at it all wrong. The sky thing.

MARTY: How’s that?

RUST: Well, once, there was only dark. If you ask me, the light’s winning.

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson in "Form and Void". Image courtesy of IMDb.

On that honestly beautiful note, we fade out. It’s an incredibly more positive answer to Marty’s question long ago of why Rust hasn’t just killed himself if he sees humanity in this awful way. His answer at the time was that it must just be his programming. But he’s always seen the potential in the light. Never delusional about how much darkness there was, hence his perpetual melancholy, but always aware of the possibility of the good. That’s the real reason he’s kept fighting. Someone like Rust Cohle seeing that potential makes me believe it’s really there.

So, here’s the biggest question: should I watch season two? Will it hold up to the real beauty I found here? Drop me your thoughts on Marty, Rust, and all things True Detective.

#true detective #rustin cohle #marty hart #matthew mcconaughey #woody harrelson #tv review #tv criticism #tv

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allamericansbitch · 24 days

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"The word owes Ariana and apology" actually it's still very much a situation that doesn't concern anyone but her and the people around her. Like. I understand why people criticised her for cheating, but the way she conducts her personal life has nothing to do with the general public, so it goes both ways, you know? People who cheat don't owe the world an apology, they apologise to the people they hurt. At the same time, the world doesn't owe them an apology for being critical of their behaviour - that's still between them and the people close to them. It's such a weird situation as well because like, I remember when Taylor and Joe broke up, people were saying that they felt sad the same way they would feel sad if it happened to a friend. That's their whole thing, they feel like their favourite pop-stars are their friends but like, parasocialism aside, if my friend was unhappy in a relationship she had the freedom to leave, but chose to cheat instead, I would be very critical of her? Even if I didn't particularly like her boyfriend or didn't know him all that well. Supporting your friends doesn't mean endorsing everything they do, sometimes it means telling them they messed up and encouraging them to do better. I wonder if these people do also 100% enable their friends all the time, no matter what, or if they just can't see that they're not treating the faves as friends, they're idolising them to an unhealthy degree (and this is why people need to believe in something bigger than themselves that isn't objects or other people. Like. Find god, build a better relationship with nature, get involved with a humanitarian or animal welfare project or something, just remember how much bigger and more complex than our lives and instagram is)

Yeah when I said Ariana should be apologizing I meant to the wife of the marriage she played a role in breaking up, not to the public, we have no say in it and we weren’t the ones affected by her actions.

But I agree, the idea that Taylor (or any celebrity with a toxic parasocial fandom) is always squeaky clean and can never do wrong just proves they don’t see her as a person because…. real people mess up. And if fans actually cared about her they’d be like ‘yeah she has some bad traits and it’s fine to call them out once and a while because that’s what a healthy relationship is’ but instead they always give her the benefit of the doubt, provide excuses for her actions on her behalf and never criticize her, and in fact invalidate any criticism aimed at her and diminish it to someone ‘just being negative’ or ‘just being a hater’. And that’s just not the right attitude to have towards people in general, especially people you say you respect and admire.

I truly believe that, with some people in fandoms, this is all they have. In the context of Taylor (but obviously not limited to just her) it’s very obvious to me that some people have built up Taylor soooo much in their heads that she’s the only person that matters to them, the idea of her is everything and when people try to very innocently and respectfully criticize her, they take it as a personal attack because she is them, they’ve made her their entire life/identity so by ‘insulting’ her, you’re criticizing and ‘attacking’ them. Rather than examine their unhealthy mindset and connection to her (like asking themselves questions like ‘why does this hurt me so badly?’ ‘why did I take that criticism of her so personally?’ ‘why do I feel the need to defend her all the time?’), they just go deeper and start thinking things like making up scenarios about her private life is just friends innocently gossiping, it’s not hurting anyone. That it’s perfectly fine and acceptable to theorize about a strangers life. Because it’s not a strangers life, she is them. Taylor is them. Taylor would be fine with them talking about this because they’re fine with talking about it. It’s something that’s so deeply embedded into their brain they truly see no problem with any of it and it’s very troubling.

#anonymous #answered

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chloeangelic · 3 months

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Chloeeeeeeeeee!😱 OMG! Crescentina! I don't know if I should kiss you or punch (a friendly shoulder punch) you for writing that chapter. It was such a scrumptiously porny sequence, so damn hot and filthy with such an ending. How Joel ties her up and manhandles her is jaw-dropping in the best of ways. It made me go feral, squealing and squirming, lol! I'm so happy you're you, and you have the brain you have that comes up with such beautifully deliciously hot writing. I loved every word, not only the smutty parts (Joel feeding Ladybug felt like a pre-smutty part), but the shared intimacy made my heart burst with love for these two, plus Joel being that said gorgeous example of healthy masculinity that cries over ''Finding Nemo'', even if, from the first word, my mind kept telling me something would happen at the end. There was no way this blissful piece of heaven they found themselves living in could span the whole weekend they had planned.

I could keep gushing my love for the chapter forever if my brain could stop overthinking what the ending means for these two. I'm not asking for answers, but who is better to share my thinking than the person who's writing the story?

-I think I already made a comment on it, but is there something more about how much they like each other's smell, be it the clean one with shampoo/gel/cologne or the sweaty one? And how Joel smells her ovulation? I find it really hot, but I tend to be a bit hopeless in identifying metaphors and hidden images, and I cannot help but wonder.

-Who is at the door? A part of me wants it to be Gwen, so everything is finally out in the open. But just the idea of telling his wife he has been cheating on her has Joel hurting so much that it makes me want to wish it was someone else, like Tommy or Ellie. Despite the state of their relationship, there's still care and love (not necessarily romantic) between them, and Joel telling her he has cheated would be a harsh blow. If you add seeing him in the act doing things with an intensity, I get the vibe he has never done with Gwen, which ups it all to a whole new level. But who else would open that door when, by the feeling I got, the noise they were making left nothing to guess about what was happening in that room? Everyone else would go in the opposite direction. Unless the room is soundproofed, which I don't think it was.🤔

-Why do I feel like the plan B pill is not in their minds anymore? It might be quite complicated sometimes to get pregnant, but it can also take one time, and they have gone at it like rabbits.

Thanks for the chapter. It was mindblowing! I cannot express my need/desire/desperate beg (with no intention of being pushy) to read the next chapter.

Sorry, but not that much sorry for the ramble I'm just sending you! That’s how much you’re making me think. Love you! ♥️♥️♥️

hiii!!! im working on seeking 6 as we speak so i figured this was the perfect time to discuss ch 5 !!! first of all, thank you so much for your lovely words as always <3 i am SMILING reading through this for the third time

that punch is gonna move from my shoulder to my face really quick, believe me :S wouldn't it be absolutely psychotic if i wrote a chapter where absolutely nothing went wrong?? hahah

them liking each other's smell is honestly just my personal kink, though i think there's a strong compatibility thing around liking the smell of someone's sweat. no deeper meaning behind that - i'm also terrible with hidden meanings, so your first guess is usually right when it comes to my stuff.

you'll see who is at the door pretty quickly in the next chapter ;)

they have fully forgotten about the plan B HAHA and that is also mentioned in ch 6, which - if i get my shit together - could realistically be posted in a few days.

love YOU !! <3 <3

#chloe answers #seeking fic

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nightshadehoney · 1 year

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The “Tom is a gold digger/status chaser and never really loved Shiv” take drives me up the wall.

Firstly because it’s often trotted out as an excuse for Shiv’s poor treatment of him. Like even if that was 100% true (I don’t think it is), it still wouldn’t justify treating him the way she treats him. Willa wouldn’t be with Con if he didn’t bankroll her lifestyle; their relationship started because she was an actual prostitute who he paid to be around him. Yet I somehow doubt that most of the people who say this about Tom would also say that Willa deserved it if we saw Con cheating on her and belittling her in public and pressuring her into sex acts she didn’t want.

But more the point, you kind of have to be watching the show with your eyes closed if you think Tom doesn’t love Shiv. You think someone only after money would’ve initially refused to read the the pre-nup before signing it? That someone who only cared about getting ahead would be constantly reeled back in after personal and professional mistreatment with “I love you”s and “I need you”s? If Tom was in this relationship purely for career reasons, he probably would’ve agreed with Shiv on their wedding night when she said the business part of the relationship made sense and wouldn’t have cared about having an open relationship. He was absolutely gutted that she cheated on him and called the idea of being married to him a “box set death march” because he loved her.

Tom is very much enamored with the power and prestige of the Roy family; he loves being rich. But those aren’t separate things from loving Shiv, I think it’s really part of it for him. People being into a someone because that person has what they desire but feel thet lack is pretty common. Shiv isn’t just rich: she’s a Roy and he’s attracted to the kind of power and confidence she has because she is a Roy. He’s so high off the idea that someone like that would want to be with him, that he let’s her walk all over him. A level-headed person would’ve gone running in the other direction after their fiance handed them a pre-nup with no infidelity clause and then implied that they will probably cheat on them and likely already have, but not Tom because Tom is a romantic deep down. He doesn’t want to look at that pre-nup because that would mean he has to acknowledge that there is any transactional part of their relationship. Tom essentially wants to have his cake and eat it too: he wants to to have a normal marriage where him and his wife love each other and have babies together and he wants to have a successful prestigious career. But openly talking about the latter interferes with his ability to believe he has truly has the former.

One of the central ideas in Succession as a whole is that when you have as much money as the Roys, there’s no such thing as a relationship that isn’t colored by their wealth. Even Rava, who really seems to have loved Ken in spite of his of him family rather than because of it, apparently did quite well for herself in the divorce. That scene is Austerlitz where Marcia asks Willa about her plans and tries to give her advice is all about this really highlights this. If you marry into this family you need to look after your position. It’s not a coincidence that Tom is also part of this discussion. Marcia acts like this is just a normal conversation about whether or not Willa wants children someday, but the subtext of this conversation, (that both Marcia and Tom understand, but maybe Willa doesn’t or is at least uncomfortable with) is “hey if you’re smart, you’ll cement your place in this rich man’s life by having his child as soon as possible, otherwise you are disposable”

This comes back in season three when Tom and Shiv talk about freezing embryos. That it’s embryos and not eggs is a concession to Tom; it’s Shiv saying “see you have some insurance because I am tying up my reproductive future with yours”. But Shiv is doing such a poor job in disguising how much this is a business discussion that Tom is uncomfortable; normal people talking about having children do not immediately start talking about the scenarios in which they would destroy their frozen embryos. So Tom just sort of flounders is like “I would want you to have my babies if I died” so he can pretend that is at all what they are talking about. It doesn’t make sense for him to act this way if he only cares about his position, very little of his behavior makes sense in this context. The only way it makes any sense is if, again, you are watching the show with your eyes closed and somehow believe that Tom is doing all this to somehow trick Shiv into thinking he’s nice. Shiv doesn’t like nice; she is uncomfortable with emotion and open affection--that Tom acts this way annoys her and makes her respect him less.

Shiv was never going to marry anyone who didn’t care at all about her money and name because it’s nearly impossible for anyone to exist in the family and not care. The only way any of the Roys could ever really have something like that is if they were with someone who was an equally successful billionaire from an equally prestigious family and Shiv would never marry somebody like that. Logan’s assessment of Shiv that she was marrying Tom because he was beneath her and she didn’t want to risk being betrayed, while cruel, is accurate. He’s a trophy husband--he’s “plausible” as Caroline puts it--plausibly successful that they would be together but unambiguously beneath her because he doesn’t come from the same kind of money she does and relies on her for his career advancement. People act as if poor Shiv was duped into marrying someone who only cared about her money like...she’s not blind. She’s not unaware of Tom’s naked ambition and social climbing--she knows who he is and uses it to her advantage. She sought out a relationship that is transactional in this way because that puts her in control. She would never feel safe marrying someone who wasn’t in a subordinate position to her; it would make her too vulnerable. Frankly, anybody who wasn’t enamored by her lifestyle wouldn’t put up with her shit. She married Tom because he’s safe--he won’t really push back on her treatment of him both because he’s a a huge simp and because he would jeopardize his career by leaving. She conducts her relationships the way her father does, using wealth and status in the company as a form control in her personal relationships.

#like I saw someone say that Tom threw a fit when Shiv went after the CEO job herself #which is super weird way to say he calmly told her she could say upfront she wanted it and that he would support her #what show did you watch?#hbo succession #succession #succession posting #tom wambsgans

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majorbaby · 11 months

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Ok, same anon, but seriously re: how to make an anti-war movie/series. I think there's a lot of tid bits in MASH regarding the characters that should have been emphasized that I think would have driven home how absurd and disgusting war is and just how obscene war is. It would of course required making Hawkeye, BJ, Trapper, MUCH more unlikeable but these are (misogyny, molesting the nurses, righteousness, getting away with everything, so and and so forth) all traits they already have but just emphasized and shown front and center. They wouldn't have to tack on a pointed message or anything the horror of the characters actions would speak for themselves. Just imagine war show that unabashedly shows soldiers (drafted or not) acting out the worst of humanity and leaving the audience to decide the fates of the characters.

Yeah I think that's one way to do it, MASH 1970 leaned into that pretty hard. Hawkeye and Trapper are the heroes of the movie but they're definitely not heroes in general. I think early MASH does a pretty good job making you watch an anti-war show without hating every second of it and without feeling the messaging is tacked-on. Half the time you are laughing so hard you're not even realizing that there's an agenda here. Yankee Doodle Doctor even acknowledges "... but then, no war is a movie." But then we wouldn't have a show. Larry Gelbart's answer to this paradox was to never give us an inch. We got a sixteenth of an inch at the most: Frank never redeems himself. Henry doesn't make it home. Trapper makes it home but his exit is bitten-off and he doesn't get to adopt Kim. Frequent mood-whiplashes. Undermining "found family". A constant doubling-down on "nothing good from war". Much later admitting that in order for the show to remain true to its anti-war messaging, it could not, or rather should not, drag out.

Episodes like For the Good of the Outfit (with its sarcastic title), Yankee Doodle Doctor (an in-universe sarcastic title), Doctor Pierce and Mr. Hyde, Officer of the Day, The General Flipped at Dawn, Big Mac, White Gold all do a pretty good job imo at delivering the message via satire. And I guess you could argue that some of the things Hawkeye and Trapper do are morally wrong, Trapper cheating on his wife, Hawkeye two-timing women, taking out a colonel's appendix and feeling nothing but giddy about it (RIP BJ)... but all these things are framed as "indecencies in the middle of one giant indecency." MASH 1970 and MASH the tv show do these things to make the point that "it's nowhere near as terrible as war". And I think that's a good point to make, there's a difference between violence and state violence, why should the state have a monopoly on horror while everyone else gets judged by their peers? Trapper seriously considers murdering a patient in cold blood, a sign that the propaganda is working on him - I think that goes directly to what you're suggesting. It's less of a character flaw and more a show of the machine having its intended affect on a mostly otherwise good person.

ftr there are episodes in the later years that try to deliver this messaging, but nowhere near as consistently as the early years, the episodes aren't written around that messaging anymore and it's usually shown as a character individually wrestling with some reaction to something terrible that the war has brought them. Letters is one, Depressing News another, Peace on Us a third... note however that in all of these episodes the heavy lifting falls to Hawkeye. From BJ and Charles I get more of a sense that they are both generally opposed to human pain/suffering, and they are both incensed to have had their lives disrupted by the draft (which is fair) - but it's less of an ideological opposition.

I'm not shooting down your idea as to how to create an anti-war show, I think it's a good suggestion, I just also think that MASH did do a halfway decent job some of the time at being anti-war.

#re: mash #replies #sorry this took so long i had stuff to say

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dng3r · 5 days

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i'm not a good man, never claimed to be.

【 dean fujioka //. cisman //. he/him 】 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… SHINJI SŌWAKATSU into The Hub. You are registered to be FORTY THREE YEAR OLD and have been given citizenship for FORTY THREE YEARS under the Expatriate Act. According to the data compiled, your most notable qualities seem to be PATIENT & RUTHLESS. Please confirm that you are CHAOTIC NEUTRAL. From what we’ve gathered your place of employ is currently for the SŌWAKATSU-KAI as a OYABUN. We strongly advise that you provide the correct information pertaining to your background to ensure proper safety precautions: are you a _HOST_ or _HUMAN_? A deeper dive into our archive suggests that you are A THREE PIECE BLACK SUIT, SMILING WHILE WIPING BLOOD FROM THE MOUTH, A COLD BOURBON, NO MERCY FOR THOSE DESERVING. Though we noticed you, too, are similar to VILLANELLE ( KILLING EVE ), LORRAINE BROUGHTON ( ATOMIC BLONDE ), DON DRAPER ( MAD MEN ), THOMAS SHELBY ( PEAKY BLINDERS ) . ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ᴠᴇʀɪғɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! Please comply to all regulations and laws. It is our hope that you enjoy your stay.

general information

name: shinji sōwakatsu

age: forty-three

face claim: dean fujioka

gender & pronouns: cisman & he/him

orientation: bisexual/biromantic

relationship status: complicated

children: 1, adopted

physical & mental

hair color: black

eye color: blue

height: 180 cm/5'11ft

tattoos: plenty; on his hands, sleeves & back.

scars: mostly fighting scars

biography

tw: cheating ( between shinji's parents )

what is a legacy? is it something created of what happened in the past or can it be made someone's own by actions of the present? for shinji it's a mix of both. he's proud of his family's legacy but at the same time always wanted to mark his own in the history of the sōwakatsus. so while respectful to the legacy of his great-great-great grandfather, shinji also knew that with him on top, it'll turn into a different kind of legacy. one that remembers his actions above all else.

he has never known anything else as a child, he remembers how everyone respected his father, how they all lived lavishly, his father enjoyed the money most of all, the now former oyabun ruled with an iron fist, he openly cheated on shinji's mother with so many women that it felt normal. but he knew it hurt his mother, catching her more than one crying in the corner of her room while his father was out. she always reassured him, told him that it was her duty as the wife to always stand by her husband's side. a stupid excuse for a broken heart.

his father eventually died of old age, or maybe it was years upon years of smoking non-stop that finally brought him down. shinji was ready, ever since he was young he was prepared for the moment that he would take over his father as the head of the sōwakatsu-kai and shinji vowed to do things a little bit differently than the former oyabun.

maybe it was the trauma of his parents' relationship that made him have a distaste those himself, as he spend a lot of time sleeping around, no string attached. his heart couldn't even pretend to care about anybody he slept with, maybe he got that from his father — at least shinji didn't put a ring on their finger.

but what was it like to have an entire empire on his shoulder? it felt heavenly. whatever people felt sōwakatsu-kai, it didn't matter to shinji. they were powerful, people feared them and their enemies couldn't lift a finger against them, as much as he was sure he wanted to. maybe that's why shinji laughs at the threat of death.

wanted connection.

his complicated-ship — will be sent to the main at some point. i have two ideas for them one of them being that some point they were fiancés but shinji dropped it due to his commitment issues and second being is that they're a power-couple type married anyway when i land on one i'll sent it, for now here's example one and example two aesthetics of their relationship. either way this person is probably the only one shinji cares about romantically.

adoptive kid — the kid was adopted when they were around 11-13, and shinji was 30, they should be around 24-26 right now. will also be sent to the main at some point.

exes — shinji wasn't one for relationships. he never saw anyone he slept with as something more than that so mostly like your character thought they were a thing but shinji didn't see it that way. depending on the ex, it could be someone shinji spend money on ( since he has so much ), if it's a clan member, maybe a bodyguard. it could also be a drunken one night stand. there are a lot of options for exes!

seeking help — maybe your character needs help with w/e and seeks shinji out specifically?

blackmail — i'm down for a negative type-connection where shinji has something over your character and has you do his dirty work in return or maybe your character pays money for "protection" in return.

im literally down for any type of connection, pls hmu !!

#anarchicintro #intro // SHINJI.

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ddesfleurs · 2 years

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It hurts to love you, but I still love you.

chapter 3

summary: Michael always made a point of surprising Grace, he liked to see her with a smile on her face, especially when he was responsible for the smile. She was worth gold and he knew he didn't deserve her.

warnings: cheat, angst, anger, melancholy, light smut, mention of sex, fluff

notes: sorry for the delay, i take my own time to write. i need to feel that it's time to continue writing instead of just doing it. that doesn't make any sense, does it? here we will have some cute moments and memories but also a lot of anguish and sadness. hope you like it.

Michael was walking among the shelves full of rather dusty books in a small old bookstore away from the center. If on the outside he maintained a calm and austere countenance, on the inside the man felt like a nervous wreck. He faced certain difficulties in business with his associates and with the other families, but oddly enough this was not even the issue that most concerned him at the moment. The biggest difficulty Michael was having was balancing his time between his family, wife and children, and his lover. Pathetic.

When he started having an affair with Grace, Michael had no idea that he would quickly find himself emotionally involved with the girl. He had to admit, he'd started dating her because his marriage bored him. The relationship with Kay was no longer the same, he had deluded himself into thinking that by marrying her he would be doing the right thing and would rescue the love he felt for her before going to Italy.

The more time passed, the clearer it became to Michael that Kay was the wrong choice, she didn't understand the family's life and business, and he felt her gaze of fear and silent rebuke all the time. So, like many men who have already lost the shame of their own actions, Michael, upon seeing that bright-eyed angel for the first time, resolved that he had to have her for himself and what should have been just a physical involvement, momentary amusement, only to forget about problems at home, became essential to Michael's existence. He never told Grace that as he thought it was unfair to trap the girl with pretty words and false promises he could never keep, but he loved her. He loved her in a different way than he had loved Apollonia, and he loved her far more than he had ever loved Kay.

Michael felt like an unscrupulous scoundrel, from his actions he was making two women unhappy. His relationship with Kay was doomed from the start and in a way even she knew it, but he felt guilty for dragging Grace into this story because he could never give her a happy life, no matter how much he wanted to. Grace was constantly on his mind, the first person he thought of in the morning and the last person he thought of before bed. He thought of her smile, her sweet words, and the way she always held him tight and said, "I'm yours, Mike. I love you." Sometimes he wondered if it wouldn't be better to end it all and give her the chance to be happy with a man who could fulfill her desires, but Michael felt too selfish to bear the thought of giving up his sunshine so that she was from another man.

He was supposed to go to their apartment yesterday, but he couldn't because Kay, who is pregnant for the third time, got sick. Michael did what was decent and spent the entire night at his wife's side, he wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to her or the baby. He was happy with her pregnancy, always wanted a big family, and it was good news. Michael was very happy for the children he already had, Anthony and Mary were the owners of his heart and now this third baby would come to claim his share.

Of course, he couldn't tell Grace the real reason he didn't show up yesterday, but he hoped that after some drama, she'd forgive him and be as nice as ever. That was one of his favorite things about her, Grace wasn't a person to hold a lot of resentment, usually he always managed to soften her heart with nice words and a few kisses. But this time, he felt they would have such an argument. Michael had noticed, during the phone call, that she was strange. Something was troubling the girl and she certainly needed him to make everything okay. And Michael wanted to be that person for her, that man who would make everything okay, but he had other obligations and people who also demanded his attention.

He had no intention of buying her, but since he couldn't explain himself by telling the truth, he hoped the book he was looking for would soften her heart. One of the things that made him fall in love with Grace was that she was as passionate about a pair of diamonds as she was about an old book. She had that youthful glow that suited her so well, that reminded him that she wouldn't be with him forever and made him want to enjoy every moment with her. He was looking forward to seeing Grace and apologizing for not going to see her yesterday.

Finally found the book he was looking for, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen. Grace loved the author and, she didn't know how, had lost her favorite book of hers. She had been talking about it for days and in the same minute Michael had decided he was going to give her another copy. He picked up the book and lightly stroked the cover. Austen. Grace really was a romantic, wasn't she? Your romantic girl.

------

As soon as Grace knocked on the door of her aunt's house holding a suitcase and her eyes red and tearful, the woman knew something was wrong. She had no trouble hearing the truth from Grace's lips, as soon as she asked what had happened, Grace told her everything. The whole story from the beginning to the last events. She cried in her aunt's arms as she had only cried once before, on the occasion of the tragic death of her parents. Maureen didn't scold her niece, nor did she say harsh words to her, she knew that the girl's heart was broken and that this was not the time or the right moment to talk deeply about everything that had happened in Grace's life. Now what the girl needed was a safe haven and a shoulder to cry on, and that's exactly what she gave her niece, especially as she worried about her niece's nervous state that seemed to be on edge.

Grace lay down on her old bed, the bed she used to sleep in as a little girl, and stared at the old, worn wallpaper in her old room, it was pale pink with tiny wildflowers arranged in arrangements. It was beautiful, she had always liked that wallpaper. She shouldn't have left San Francisco, gone to Nevada to work, and look what she's gotten herself into. She started to cry again, the tears flowed without embarrassment, they seemed to be already familiar with the route they had to take. Her thoughts wandered to Michael and Nevada. Michael. Your beloved Michael. He was the reason for the deep weeping she was crying and for the pain in her heart. Grace missed him so much that she thought that if it was possible to die from missing someone, that would be the cause of her death.

She missed Michael, mostly missed the part of him she never had and could never have. Grace dreamed of having him all to herself but instead received small fragments of him. Fragments that had long satisfied her and probably would have stayed that way if Kay hadn't come to her apartment to break the news that she was pregnant with her third baby. That was the last straw for Grace, she was giving up everything, a whole life full of possibilities, and for what? For Michael to just use her as a diversion while he had another child in his wife and they were the perfect family? Grace felt so stupid for not realizing it sooner, for not walking away before getting involved, for letting it get this far.

Grace felt stupid and desolate for having been content with so little for so long. But she couldn't help it, she loved Michael and, well, they say love is blind. Mine certainly must be, Grace thought, remembering the few atrocities Michael had told her about his work and how little it bothered her. Grace didn't care about Michael's job and what he did or didn't do. All that mattered to her was the way he treated her and the time they spent together. It mattered to her that he was okay and that he would see her on Thursday. It mattered the way they made love throughout the house and the way he held her in his arms like she was the most important thing he owned.

She especially remembered a day when Michael had taken her for a walk by the lake. Grace felt so happy to be there, the place was beautiful and romantic, it really touched her heart that Michael had bothered to take her on a romantic date, a place outside the apartment where they could be comfortable and act like love birds. Grace kicked off her shoes and jogged to the edge of the lake where she waited for Michael with expectant eyes.

"Oh no, you're not going to convince me to go in there."

"Come on, Michael. Just a little!"

"There's nothing you can do to convince me." Michael said as he looked at her with a small smile at the corner of his lips.

"Come on, take off your shoes, let's at least walk along the coast. We'll just get our feet wet. You don't want to miss out on all the fun, do you?" Grace spoke in a slightly mischievous tone.

Michael took off his shoes angrily and walked over to Grace. He felt the cold water touch his feet but he didn't care, he only had eyes and thoughts for the woman in front of him. She was radiant and smiling like he had never seen her before. He loved her smile and the way her eyes sparkled.

Grace took Michael's hand and they walked down the coast, making small talk and exchanging nice words. The day shone, shone like their love, clean and vicious and with a hint of the impossible. The two walked, played with each other and even played little guessing games. When she got bored, Grace just ran out and yelled at Michael: Catch me if you can. Not only did he catch up with her quickly, he spun her through the air as they both laughed happily at their silly child's game. When Michael put her down, he looked at her in a way that made Grace's heart race, and then he kissed her deeply like a movie kiss that she willingly indulged in.

Grace loosened Michael's tie as she fumbled for his belt, trying to loosen it. He let out a low laugh as he hurried to take her hands in his. She bit her lower lip as she shot him a confused look and blushed.

"What? you do not want?" Said the disappointed girl.

"Yes, yes, I do." Michael spoke with a frustrated sigh.

"Then why did you stop me?"

"I want but not here."

"Why? What's the matter?" She spoke getting closer to him and leaving a trail of kisses on his neck.

"Neri is here too remember?" Michael said as he let the moment roll.

"He's in the car that's parked far away from here, there's no way he can see us."

"But he might not be. Or he might need to leave for some reason and come looking for us. I won't let anyone see you like this, not when we make love. This is too intimate a moment for me to want to risk anyone seeing you." He spoke as he held her close to him and gave her a tight smile in apology.

"So this is a definite 'no' and I can't change your mind?"

"Not here, honey." He said as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Wait until we get home." Home. Their apartment. It was your home too. Michael's home.

Michael gently rubbed his nose over Grace's face and showered her with soft kisses, which soon brought a smile to her face and she surrendered to his charms again.

She remembered that after that moment, the two began to dance softly, there was no music but that didn't matter to them. Michael had one hand on her back while the other held her hand. He held her so tightly, it seemed like he would never let go and Grace, silly as she was, felt her heart flutter because she felt that at least for that moment, she was everything to him, his world.

Back to reality, Grace was crying lying on her old bed in the old room she used to occupy when she still lived with her aunt. She felt so empty now that she had left Michael. She didn't know how she was going to move on now that she'd left him. He was everything to Grace and she had no idea how to live without him anymore.

She rolled over, determined to get at least a few hours of sleep. She had a trip to make and needed to be minimally well for it. Grace knew she couldn't spend much time in San Francisco, it would be the first place outside of Nevada that Michael would look for her and she didn't want him to find her. If she saw him one more time, if she heard his voice and smelled him… she knew she would be back home with him in the same minute and she couldn't. It couldn't when Michael had a wife pregnant with their third child and she was always going to be the other woman. The next morning Grace was going to catch a bus to Wisconsin. Her aunt had insisted on paying her plane tickets but Grace had flatly refused, Michael would find her in a heartbeat if he tried to trace her name. Anyway, it was all set, Grace was going to stay with an old friend of her aunt Maureen's and rebuild her life without Michael in it. Her little fairy tale, her sweet illusion, had come to an end.

-------

Michael crossed the threshold and knew immediately that Grace wasn't home. The reason was simple, the apartment was quiet and Grace, when she was home, always had a record playing or the radio on. She loved music and even if it was in a low key, in their apartment she was always playing a soft melody. Michael remembered several times he'd arrived at the apartment and found her humming along to whatever song was playing on the radio while she cooked in the kitchen. Grace mainly liked to cook sweets and Michael soon found himself a big fan of cakes in general. His favorite was the lemon cake she made, it reminded him of Sicily, the coast and the freshness of calmer, milder days. He wanted to take Grace there one day, so she could see the beauties of her father's homeland, the land that gave Michael's last name.

He sat on the couch, wanting to be visible so she would see him as soon as he entered their apartment. Michael smiled slightly at the thought, their apartment, he already thought of him and Grace as one, although that wasn't entirely true as Michael was still legally bound to another woman by marriage. He found it curious the way he felt connected to Grace, the connection that existed between them made him feel like he had never felt before, he felt that she was "the one", but Michael felt lost about it, something that rarely happened in his life. He felt lost because in the first place this was not what his father had taught him.

His father had always set the example of a faithful and respectful marriage, he never betrayed his mother, for Vito there was only his wife and children, his family was the most precious asset. Of Vito Corleone's sons, everyone thought Michael was the only one who had come out like his father, faithful and tied the only woman to death. But, time proved otherwise for Michael, he had been hasty in marrying Kay after returning to the US, he liked her but didn't love her enough to spend the rest of his life with her, and Kay's inability to understand and accept the Sicilian way, their way of life and business, created an insurmountable barrier between them. Of course, that was no justification for betrayal, but that was the way things were between the two of them.

After meeting Grace and falling head over heels in love with her, Michael began to consider something he had denied at the beginning of his relationship with the girl, a divorce with Kay. He was trying to put the matter off, he wanted to find a quiet way to do it all, an amicable divorce without major scandals, he didn't want his family name in any kind of vicious gossip. He didn't want to tarnish the Corleone family's reputation, didn't want to expose Kay, his children, and himself. Above all, he didn't want to expose Grace to malicious comments, he knew that depending on how things turned out, it wouldn't be hard for people to realize that his relationship with her started while he was still married to Kay and Michael didn't want to take the risk that Grace to be seen as some whore who stole someone's husband because she was absolutely none of that.

If anyone was to blame for anything, it was Michael and he knew it himself. But the heart wants what it wants, and his heart desperately wanted Grace, needed her to live. He loved her as he had never loved a woman in his life, and he was ready to tell her that and to tell her of his plans to divorce Kay when he received the news that he was going to be a father for the third time. The news tasted bittersweet, he felt happy because he'd always wanted to have a big family, lots of Sicilian-style kids, and he felt a little sad because now, more than ever, he couldn't divorce Kay. Not in his worst nightmares would he commit the atrocity of divorcing his pregnant wife and that was not just because of the comments they would make about them, but also because of his honor as a man, husband and father. It was out of the question for Michael to be a scoundrel who leaves a pregnant woman.

So he put aside plans for a divorce and didn't tell Grace that he loved her more than anything in the world, nor did he tell her that he was going to be a father again. Michael just didn't know how to break this news to her, knew she wouldn't react well because she loved him and wanted him for her. He knew that Grace dreamed of a family, she loved children, but she would never have an illegitimate child and Michael couldn't give her more than that. He, thinking he wouldn't bring more pain and sadness into the life of the one he loved most, decided that he wouldn't tell her, at least for now, about Kay's pregnancy.

Michael's thoughts wandered to a memory that always made him happy, the first time he tasted the lemon cake she'd made. Grace had made a lot of suspense around which cake she had made, he knew it would be a new flavor and that she was eager for him to taste it, Grace wanted to please him and do domestic things to make him feel at home. He didn't care all that much about these things, but he appreciated her effort and really liked the things she cooked, especially her cakes, even though he couldn't eat much of it. She served him a slice of the cake that, by this point, he had already discovered was lemon.

"Lemon?" He asked as he picked up his fork to help himself.

"Yes, I thought it would be nice to bring in some of your Sicilian roots." Grace responded with a playful smile.

"You know, I was born here in the States." In response to this statement, Michael received a smack on the arm with the dish towel.

"Eat before it gets cold, I want to know what you think."

Michael took a piece of the cake to his mouth and from that moment on, Grace's lemon cake had become his favorite. It was simply the best he had ever eaten in his entire life.

"Mmm." Michael moaned in satisfaction. "This is simply the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. I loved it, honey."

"Really? Did you really like it? You're not just saying that to please me, are you?"

"Of course not, you should give yourself more credit, the cake is just delicious, the best lemon cake I've ever had in my life. You have fairy hands. You could work with that, it would be very successful."

"Is that a suggestion?"

"No way. I like having you all to myself and knowing that I'm the one to taste all your cakes and any other food you decide to make." He spoke as he hugged her waist and brought her to him. "I love these little moments between the two of us, I really appreciate everything you do for me, it makes my life easier. I adore you, Grace. My life is better since you arrived, my dear Grace."

Michael cupped her face and kissed her urgently as he slowly pushed them both backwards until her body touched the kitchen table. Once they reached the table, Michael was separated from Grace for just a few seconds, enough to lift the girl's body and place her on the table. He knew her and knew that sometimes she liked to be surprised and to have sex somewhere other than her bedroom. Michael unbuttoned the front buttons of her dress as he planted kisses down her neck, which made her moan softly and grip his shirt tightly.

When they were at home, relaxing, Grace often wore little underwear and that was the case here. When he opened her dress, her breasts soon showed, since she wasn't wearing a bra. Michael felt the excitement coursing through his entire body, he loved her, he loved her body and he loved knowing that she was his and only his and no one else's. He decided to be a little mean, wanted to hear her moaning his name out loud and begging for him. So he took the nipple of one of her breasts and gave a light pinch, which made her squirm in pleasure and let out a murmur.

Michael, still holding her breast, whispered in her ear, "I want you to be my little whore today, I want to hear you moan my name out loud. I want everyone to know that you're mine, got it?"

She nodded 'yes' and flashed the most naughty smile Michael had ever seen on her face, which drove him crazy. He wanted to fuck her until they couldn't take it anymore.

They kissed again and soon got rid of the remaining pieces of clothing. They felt an urgency that could only be quenched after they had each other. That night, they had rough sex that started at the kitchen table and then spread to other furniture and rooms. Fast, strong, hot and highly addictive, it was like that until they got tired and went to bed where they made slow, sweet love before falling asleep clinging as one. They belonged together in every way.

The memory faded from Michael's thoughts, that had been a happy day. In fact, every day with Grace was happy, she made him happy by simply existing. The smile, the look, the little things that made her who she was, it all made Michael happy, knowing that he existed in the same world as her and that she was his and his alone.

Michael started to get restless with Grace's delay, he didn't care when she left but he liked having her for as long as possible. Besides, Grace was taking too long to get home. Restless, he decided to leave the book he had bought on the sofa and go look at their apartment, sometimes he feared for the worst, that she would be somehow involved in his business at the hands of his enemies. But Michael found the apartment as usual, nothing seemed out of place, except for a piece of dress that poked out of the wardrobe, as happens when someone closes the door in a hurry. He walked over to the wardrobe where Grace's clothes were and opened it only to be surprised, significant amounts of her clothes were gone. He then went through all the drawers, closets and dressers and discovered the same, all the places where Grace's things were messed up, clothes and personal effects were gone, while other things were left behind.

Michael, surprisingly nervous, went downstairs to get Neri to look around the apartment and then get his men to find Grace as quickly as possible. Michael feared the worst, thought that maybe someone from the other families had found out about Grace and kidnapped her or worse, feared they would use her to get revenge on him, feared that she would pay for the mistakes and crimes he committed and ordered.

As soon as Al Neri walked into the apartment, he knew this wasn't a kidnapping case. The girl certainly must have left on her own, there wasn't an object out of place, apart from the clothes and personal items drawers that looked like they had been rummaged around by someone who had packed her bags in a hurry. There were no signs of a break-in and no signs of a struggle, nothing broken or overturned, and the woman's suitcase was gone. In a corner on the floor, next to a window that was half open, the security guard spotted a white letter envelope that must have blown away on account of the wind, as soon as he picked it up he saw that it had the name of Mr. Corleone.

"Sir, I believe this is for you." Said the man as he handed the envelope into Michael's hands and walked out of the room to give him privacy.

Michael took the envelope and opened it quickly finding only a sheet of paper inside that contained only a few words.

Don't worry about me, I'm fine and safe. Please don't look for me anymore, I can't go on like this, I can't be with you anymore. Goodbye, Michael.

Michael sat stunned on the bed, had she left him? So suddenly, without there being any reason or explanation? Without even saying goodbye. Michael, with tears in his eyes, looked at the window in front of him, he felt lost, he didn't know what to do. Had he lost her forever? Had Grace just left because he hadn't shown up the other night? He didn't know what to think, much less what to feel. For the first time in years Michael allowed himself to cry, tears streaming down his face as he stared straight ahead as a whirlwind of thoughts hit him all at once. He lost the woman he loved, the love of his life, for being a coward and not choosing her when he had the chance.

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