#alas i solved it
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The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens
Just like so many other Good Omens red herrings, hints and *Aziraphale voice* clues, the question of 'What the fuck ist the deal with Aziraphale's flaming sword' has been absolutely tormenting my mind ever since S1 dropped all those years ago.
And while many of my other questions about S2 (like 'What the fuck is the deal with the Eccles cakes' or 'Who the fuck made the Gabriel statue') remain unanswered and could, possibly, just not matter at all and I should just get the fuck over them– the unsolved case of Aziraphale's flaming sword in S1 has always seemed like a weirdly important blind spot to me.
So, in an attempt to finally solve this knot in my brain, I made a timeline for the bloody Flaming Sword because what else would I spend my Friday evening on. Here goes nothing, I thought:
Aziraphale gets issued the sword by Heaven to guard the Garden of Eden in 4004 BC, and gives it away to the humans.
God asks him about it right after they humans have left Eden, Aziraphale lies to her and before even finishing speaking, God just loggs off and doesn't seem to care anymore.
The sword seems to be lost for the next 6000 years to follow and, once again, no one really cares.
The first time we see it again is when the International Express Man delivers it to War in the present day.
The next time we see it after that, is when Pepper effectively kicks war in the shin, makes her drop the sword and proceeds to anihilate her with it.
Brian and Wensleydale do the same to Famine and Pollution.
Aziraphale then wields the sword once more, despite never having to really use it (but hey, it looks capital-B Badass).
Lastly, our Holy Delivery Guy then picks up the sword together with the other (now deceased?) Horsmen's artefacts and they once again vanish.
Needless to say, I found myself nothing the wiser after making this timeline. It seemed completely useless. I still had no idea why the sword even existed and why they kept making such a big fucking fuss about it all throughout Season 1. So, I decided to make another list, this time with all the random ass questions I had about this random ass sword:
Why was it issued to Aziraphale in the first place?
Since when does an angel need a random flaming weapon to protect two (2) humans that are already being guarded by a hundred-meter-high wall, when he could very well just miracle away any and every threat to both himself and them?
Was he given the sword to defend himself against demons?
If so, why would they give him a burning blade instead of, for example, a Supersoaker full of Holy Water? (Sure, I'm fairly certain Supersoakers hadn't been invented yet, but you catch my drift)
Is the sword actually burning with hellfire?
If so, it would a) still be a pretty useless weapon against demons, but also b) possibly explain why Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale were able to kill or at least temporarily get rid of three of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (who, be they whatever they actually are, surely count as some sort of immortal entities just like angels and demons do)
Did the sword actually kill War, Pollution and Famine?
After all, the World as we knew it did get reinstated by Adam again once they managed to stop Armageddon. Does that mean that the three Horsemen were revived again too? Unless Season 2 takes place in a war-less, pollution-less and famine-less world, they must have somehow made their return (or never really died in the first place)
Where. The Fuck. Is. The Sword. Now?
And why does it bother me so much???????
Alas, just like so many other questions, these too seemed to remain unsolved. And since the fucking sword didn't make a comeback in S2, I guessed that it probably just wasn't more than ... well, a randomly flaming, randomly misplaced, randomly unexplained Flaming Sword.
Nothing more than a plot device.
Hmm, right. A ... plot device.
Hang on. (And that's when it finally hit me.)
It's a fucking plot device.
Most authors and consumers of media are familiar with the use of plot devices in story telling. However, I personally had only every seen characters be used as such, to merely bring an important point across or further underline or advance a story's or main character's development or plot.
It wasn't until I was about to simply give up because I couldn't see my way out of the seemingly unlimited sword-related questions anymore, that I realized: There are no answers to those questions. Just like there are no deeper meanings to any other plot devices. Their sole purpose it so shine some light onto another, more important thing, story or character.
And in this case, that character is Aziraphale. Or more so Aziraphale's choices and his relationship with and belief in God and Heaven. The Flaming Sword (or more so Aziraphale's giving-away of it) is the first way of showing us that Aziraphale:
doesn't always aka pretty much never obey God's will (even all the way back in The Beginning),
will lie to God about disobeying Her
and possibly, just like Crowley joked about, was the one who by trying to do a Good Thing, accidentally gave away something that would later somehow become a literal War weapon, lmao
It also tells us that:
God apparently doesn't always care or cast them out of Heaven when an angel actively disobeys and lies to Her.
Or, for all we know, Aziraphale giving the sword away and not admitting to it was somehow part of Her Ineffable Plan anyway.
Heaven is apparently absolutely useless at keeping track of its very few ethereal belongings.
That's what you get for outsourcing work, you capitalists.
Right at The End, the sword returns to its owner who had it right in The Beginning too: Aziraphale.
And not just that: It actually ends up saving the humans. For the second time. First all the way back in Eden, when it was just Adam and Eve. And now, 6000 years later, at what would have been the end of the World. Very poetic, *wipes away tear*
So yeah, there you go. That's the big revelation I have come to. Would I have preferred to uncover yet another sneaky Gaimanian easter egg just so I could wave it in your face like some sort of a puzzle solved at a scavenger hunt?
Sure.
But hey, sometimes flaming sword plot devices are just that. And I'll make my peace (or War?) with it.
#good omens#good omens s1#gos1#aziraphale#the flaming sword#this has been haunting me for years#because im insane in the membrane#alas i solved it#or something like that#my own meta
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Everyone, trying to warn me: Harrow the Ninth is so complicated and so hard to get through and you won't have any idea what the hell is happening!
Me: Harrow the Ninth is peak comedy if your sense of humor is fucked beyond all sense.
#if I'm honest#it is not so confusing as all that#its a very well laid out mystery#which i have nor fully solved#but its fascinating nevertheless#tlt#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#emperor: alas i have buried the monster within the tomb that was to be never opened#harrow: excuse u that is my beloved Corpse of Coping#chekhov draws tlt#chekhov draws the locked tomb
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service canada phonecall.png
#paperwork#phonecalls#this was a few weeks ago and I made several calls and talked to only two humans#and made no progress and gave up and ate some ice cream#went to the office in person today and waited for a thousand years for my number to be called#(after having gone 2 days ago only to be told they were understaffed and given an appointment to come back today)#and HOPEFULLY have solved the paperwork troubles but I must wait a few more weeks for things to arrive in the mail.#bleh.#one of the humans I talked to took down my email address and said he'd send me more contact info#but alas it never arrived#maybe he got my email wrong. who knows!
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I'VE DISCOVERED THAT IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO MAKE A FANGAME AND I'VE GONE OFF THE DEEP END
Bonus Darnold and Benrey as well! :)
#cuphead au#hlvrai cuphead au#animation#2d animation#pencil test#music#music writing#dimond speaks#dimonds art#ANYWAY HI WITH THE FORMALITIES OUT OF THE WAY#I've discovered I can use Godot to actually make this mod!#so of course I rehyperfixated on it and now here we are#I'm doing Coomer's fight first cuz that's the one I have the most figured out in my head#but the main idea is that this AU takes place after the Betrayal happens.#the plot changes so that Darnold finds Gordon on his own and gives him the potion#then offers to keep helping him if the need arises#then each boss fight happens#alas hlvrai is not solved with the power of friendship and this gun i found this time#gordon winds up making his own escape and then taking the others (minus benrey) with him#I don't plan on making this multiplayer so it's JUST Gordon#so uh. yeah!#send me asks FGHJKADS
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Current Mood
"Good morning, coworkers..."
"I've been informed that there are some bitches here in our workplace..."
"... and that they've been talking shit."
#current mood#for this week anyway holy shit#Lady Dimitrescu#Alcina Dimitrescu#I would definitely look up to her as my boss#both literally and figuratively#alas she is not in charge of HR#damn shame#it would solve so many problems
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watched pannenkoek’s video about invisible walls in Super Mario 64, and now im really curious if that problem persists in Super Mario 64 DS, or if they rebuilt the game in a new engine for that version? like, is it a modified port, or a recreation?? because if its a port, then the invisible walls would still be there unless the devs were aware of them and took the time to fix them, right?
#i need a text post tag#a cursory google search has not solved this question… alas#ive only ever played 64 DS and was always godawful at it; lol. i've considered trying to pick it back up though#actually. if i do that i can just test it for myself. see if i can bonk against them...#when im done with Art for today i might give that a shot. i will report back with my findings
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“Bruce is a nesting and traumatized omega who’s missing his dead pup and that’s why he’s such a territorial bitch to Clark in Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice” is such a stellar take, actually
#I wanna write it tbh#every now and then I think#would my followers like this?#you don’t even write a/b/o#not really#bruce wayne#batman#dc#superbat#clark kent#alas#it compels me#<<<<said like Daniel Craig in knives out#poor omega Bruce just needs to be fucked into some therapy#imagine solving the entire plot of bvs with knotting#I might#a/b/o mention#a/b/o#omegaverse
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The nypd: We're begging you, stop getting involved in this murder shit.
Oliver, Charles, and Mabel: No ❤️
#If I get murdered I want some nosy meddling bitches to solve it instead the police (actually I'd like to not get murdered but alas)#my posts#only murders in the building
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You're about to make it to Floor 6 for the first time with nothing but reserve operators? Impressive! And with such a powerful and highly synergistic set of relics too! And 1hp 40+ shields, that's enough to survive even a boss leaking! It looks like you're on track to win this run!
It would be a shame if your command level leveled up from the fight right before Highmore, giving you +1 hp and deactivating your 50aspd king's lance and lowering your damage output and causing Highmore to leak and obliterate your shield reserves and getting you killed fighting Skadi when you could've won if you had a bit more hp to stall with.
Sure would be a shame.
:)
FUCK
#im actually so pissed i got trolled like that#gonna cry myself to sleep again#i didn't screenshot my 1hp 40+ shields but i pinky prommy that's not a lie. 24 from max difficulty regional commission + king's fellowship#i knew this would be a special run when i got hand of spikes *and* broken wand solving in the first shop#alas. it was not meant to be...#broken wand solving through 70 res relies on a bunch of casters being on field on the same time blasting highmore the moment she comes out#it was over once she survived the killbox. having to reposition my guys means i can't touch her afterwards#due to redeploy dp costs limiting how many i can put down at once causing them to get blasted since i can't set up proper aggro/healing#highmore escaping into the rest of the map also caused another like 10shields worth of leaks from the right side#arknights#is3#reserve op gaming
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ana also confirmed in her document that pomme has not been contacted by anyone on the team after two entire weeks. that is what was the final straw for me, where i can no longer support the qsmp no matter what happens from now on. quackity seemingly has so little respect for his team that he hasn’t even bothered to apologize to them, let alone collect any testimonies, something it is impossible to fix the money or any other issues without.
oh yes you’re right anon i forgot that ana also said so in her testimony ! thanks for reminding me
and I can see the point of view of « not wanting to give false hopes » but you can still have healthy communication and not make empty promises so i’m eh about this justification. but i’ve only saw aypierre who was paraphrasing + surely translating Q words so idk what or how exactly it was said
in any case it should be obvious that the first step towards change should be to collect as many testimonies and statements from current and ex admins and yet ????
#qsmp discourse#wish i could just do the ostrich and go back to casual live blogging but ALAS#this could all have been avoided and or solved quite easily i don’t get it
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guys id literally sell all the blood in my body for fontaine teyvat travel guide just to hear about alice meeting furina
#DID YOU GUYS HEAR HER TEA PARTY LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE COULD HAVE A TEA PARTY WITH ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and alice is like the ultimate mother figure. furina could get the comfort shes never had please guys do you see my vision#furina just need s a good mom okay#my beautiful beatiful daughter in my screen i wish i could hold you and solve all your problems#but alas.#furina#furina & alice#alice
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Hey. I'd like to know about your ongoing demonic possession
it's a current work in progress but there's still hope for us yet
#being possessed would solve so many issues of mine rn i think#not having to think?? having someone else do all this thinking shit???#unfortunately I think it would also create a multitude of other problems but alas#ask#phynoma
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She's so tragic. I love her.
Bonus:
I can explain....
I think they should kiss.
#sherry deserves her mom and claire deserves a girlfriend and i think this would solve both problems#my art#annette birkin#claire redfield#clairannette#haha get it cause it's like... clarinet. clairannette#anyway#resident evil 2 remake#i'll be real honest if mia was not the same age as sherry i would ship annette with her#alas#that feels kinda weird
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I am in a weird space these past couple of days going through spurts of being super productive and then merging into my couch for several hours and today just crushing anxiety and depression like what am I doing with my life.
#text post#personal#it's just the fact that I have to deal with adulting things and it is too much#i don't want to think about medical appointments#or dental appointments#or TAXES#or figuring out INSURANCE#sleeping forever is not going to solve my problems#alas#must be january
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the issue is i get deep into someone's Miku tag and theres no way to like 'save' the spot im at so its best to just try and get all the way to the end of the tag before i back out of it, leading to me scrolling rapidly for like half an hour
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i never got the tea from that random anon.............
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