#ahhh sorry this is so grainy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cillianmurphy · 4 years

Photo

GIFFING 101 - YOUR ULTIMATE GUIDE ON HOW TO GIF

I have gotten many, many asks before about how I gif and I finally decided to make a tutorial. This is going to be very long, very image heavy and with a lot of details and examples. I mean it, I’m going through every, single aspect of giffing that I can possibly think of. From start to finish. And please read the disclaimer at the very start.

* I use a macbook pro but this should probably work on windows too!

I hate doing this but if this helped and you want to, please consider donating to my ko-fi or if you want, commission a theme or page from me at @amaanat <3

tutorial under cut, I hope it helps!

★★★★★

- CONTENTS

disclaimer

what will you need to create gifs?

how to download videos?

extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player

opening in photoshop

trimming, cropping and resizing videos

sharpening

colouring and psds

masks

adding subtitles

editing frames / timeline speed

multiple gifs in one grid.

actions

exporting the gif

last minute tips and extra links.

★★★★★

- DISCLAIMER

First off, this is not meant as a post where I am saying look here, this is the only and perfect way of giffing. Not at all. When I started out, there were many tutorials available that helped me figure out how to gif, and I slowly developed my own style and I would like to create an in depth tutorial that helps you grasp the basics. Heck, make your gifs whatever way you want, go absolutely crazy on colours or whatever, this tutorial is just here to guide you through the process of gifmaking, because I know it can be very intimidating to people who are just getting into it. That is why I made this and why I spent 8 hours writing this, because I want others to know too and this is the kind of in depth tutorial I needed when I was starting out 4 years ago. Thanks for reading, hope it helps and go crazy ahhh go stupid.

★★★★★

- what will you need to create gifs?

photoshop. I use photoshop CC 2020 on a mac and I pay monthly bc of student discount. There are many, many links you can find on @completeresources for downloads. You can use any photoshop you like, as long as you have the timeline option.

Handbrake. This nifty program is used mostly to convert MKV files to MP4, but I also use it to quickly extract the part of the video I want, because opening an entire movie in photoshop can quickly clog up space bc of cache and it’s a pain to find that one second scene you want with that tiny scrollbar. Download it from here.

your video (downloading explained down below)

extras: VLC, just to find how many seconds the scene is at, so we can input the time in Handbrake. You can use any other player though for that step, I use VLC or Quicktime. Download VLC from here.

★★★★★

- how to download videos

Ok so I will quickly go through a few methods here for getting your clips.

1. t*rrenting.

This is the most popular method for getting your film or tv episode. I personally get my t/rrents from rarbg dot to or if I am having trouble finding one, I go to 1337x dot to, because they compile them from different sites. I copy the magnet link and go to the qbittorrent application, import magnet link, choose the files I want and it downloads. Remember, the higher the seeder leecher ratio, the quicker it will download.

But which file should I choose?? there’s so many? Well yes there are many many files for different movies. On RAR, I found more than 40 t/rrent files for Endgame. I think that generally, the 4/5 GB 1080p copies are just fine. I have compared giffing with a 60GB Interstellar Remux (which is directly ripped from bluray) file to giffing from a 4GB 1080 file, it literally gave me the same quality and the 1080 looked crisper. So yeah don’t kill your computers space, just go for those 3/4/5GB files.

hot tip - don’t download from yify, the quality is way worse.

2. movies from twitter accounts such as logolessHD.

these accounts post MEGA links to movies and shows, but you will have to request to follow them to be able to get the links. Then you can download the movie from there. The accounts you can get these links from are here: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4. The quality can be a bit less though compared to t/rrents. Here is a link to a tumblr blog with these kinds of downloads too.

3. downloading from youtube.

ok, use 4kvideodownloader for this. It is incredibly easy to use, you just need the youtube link. Always Always go for 1080p, if you can’t then 720 at the most because otherwise quality gets really bad really fast.

4. netflix / screenrecording

If you don’t want to download / can’t find something, try using netflix and screen recording. In my experience, SC only works on google chrome and not safari so jsyk!! Here is a tutorial on how to screen record on mac (or for quick access, click command+shift+5) and windows.

NOTE: quicktime screen records at 60fps, which is nearly thrice the frame rate of movies and shows, so at the end you may end up with duplicate frames in the timeline of photoshop, so you will have to delete those frames one by one sorry.

★★★★★

- extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player

muahaha here’s where the magic starts to happen. Open handbrake and import your video. For this part I am going to use a scene of Keanu Reeves from the 2019 movie Always be my Maybe. I will demonstrate with that scene up until colouring, because then I will show how I colour different scenes!

So when you have opened the image in HB, you get this layout. (link to imgur)

it is a bit intimidating, I know. So basically, first, click on where it says chapters near the top right and click seconds. then, input the time you want to extract from the entire video. For the Keanu scene, that scene starts at 00:57:18 and ends at 00:57:21. These are not exact timings, I usually add an extra second so the entire scene is captured and I heavily recommend you do the same.

Now down below, you can click browse and edit where your new video will be saved and you can also change the name of the new clip. Always ALWAYS remember to keep the .mp4 ending do not cut that part out!!! If the ending says .m4v change it to mp4!!

Ok then I undertake the following steps to ensure the video that will be exported is of the highest quality possible:

Firstly, I uncheck all these three boxes:

Then you see this bar here right? Well I will edit the dimensions, filters and video now. You don’t have to do anything for audio, subtitles or chapters so leaving that alone is best. Lets go to dimensions first.

Here are my settings for dimensions:

The storage size depends on if your file is 1080p or 720p. Most movies are shot in a ratio of 2.35:1, so if it does not say 1920x1080 like a 1080 file should be, don’t fret. The cut off parts are just the black bars you see when watching the movie. Handbrake doesn’t recognise nor convert them so that’s one less thing we have to worry about.

Now onto filters. Literally do NOT change anything there. Leave the settings as they are, which is like this:

Finally, go to video. You will see this kind of window and these are my settings (imgur)

Firstly, leave video encoder at H264 or 265 depending on how your video is encoded. For the FPS, choose same as source for the framerate and click constant instead of variable!!! This will ensure your video is smooth. For quality, bring the slider all the way to the right. RF0 means it will be at the best quality possible. I didn’t edit the settings at the bottom at all so just leave them be.

Now click this green icon (imgur) at the top and your video will start encoding! It does not take long at all and then your video is ready to made into a nice lil gif!

★★★★★

- opening in photoshop

woohooo we got our video!! Ok now open photoshop. Click on file -> open:

now search for the file you extracted from VLC and import it! Now your screen will look like this (imgur). With a different video, of course lol.

★★★★★

- trimming, cropping and resizing videos

ok so firstly, we will trim the video. As you can see in the image I linked in the step before, the screencap you see is of someone else in ABMM, not Keanu, like I want. So use this slider:

and click and drag it to where your scene begins and shows up in the window. Then, click the following button to split at playhead.

This will split the clip and so the timeline and layers section will look like this (imgur) (mine has three sections because there was space before and after the keanu scene so I cut two parts which made three clips)

so now all there is left in trimming is delete the layers of the video you do not need! For me in that image it was layer 1 and 3!

cropping and resizing

This depends on the kind of gifset you want to make. This picture is a handy guide for resizing:

This post is also very very useful for resizing info

Ok now I will crop my gif. Click on this tool:

and now my interface looks like this. I am using the ratio 6 by 4 but you can use whatever you want.

Ok now you may need to crop some black bars but since I don’t have to, I just moved the crop area around a bit and clicked enter to crop it. Just play around with sizes and whatnot, and get a feel of what you like!!

cropping tip: crop as close as you can to the edges. The more you zoom in, the more pixels that will be visible and it will make your gif extremely grainy!!

So now for resizing, go to image -> image size or click command-shift-i

and you will get this window.

A LITTLE NOTE - I personally do not use automatic but a friend who shared her sharpening psd would prefer if I kept it secret, but automatic is what most people use and it is what I used up until november 2019 and it worked just fine.

Ok anyway now I want to make my gif 268px wide so I will input that as width and make sure you click this!! It makes sure your height and width are proportional!

ok now we have this. After you’ve done that, click ok!

congrats, you just resized a gif!! Your gif probably looks smaller now in the main window once you click ok, just zoom in to it! don’t worry about it looking bad quality, sharpening is next!

This is how my gif looks with trimming, cropping and resizing (with 0.05 speed)

★★★★★

- sharpening

Now we sharpen! Make sure your layer is selected Go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen and this window will pop up:

These are my settings which most people use. Just remove gaussian blur

I have more accurate and use legacy checked too!

click ok! Now ... your gif might look a bit oversharpened. That’s why we use a bit of gaussian blur. Go to filter -> blur -> gaussian blur.

now I think most people also use a 1.0 radius so set that and click ok.

But now your gif looks too blurry. Lets fix that. Double click the icon below in the layers panel

and adjust the opacity! My go to is between 25 to 35, just so the gif looks smooth!

Now we’re done with sharpening! This is how our gif looks with sharpening with 0.05 speed:

sweet right? Now .... the best and hardest part ... colouring!!!!

★★★★★

- colouring and psds

First I will shortly talk about psds. They are photoshop files, that save the entire document which means you can share it with someone after uploading it and when they download and open it, they can edit the layers, tweak things just like they made the file in the first place. Many people upload psds of gifs with colouring so others can use that colouring. You can find so many psds on completeresources (I only linked gif psds but they have psds for icons and headers too) or allresources. I do not use psds but colour from scratch every time so I will not be explaining them further, sorry.

So for colouring, I will go very in depth into different styles. Here are the main types of colouring I have noticed people use on here:

simple - I normally use this for scenes with people in it

vibrant, bright - I use this for scenes with lots of colours in them

pale

black and white

gradients - I use this to spice scenes up a bit

colour palette

I only go for simple, vibrant and gradients and never do cp, pale or black and white, but I will link a few tutorials by talented creators who do and after that I will explain the three ways I colour by showing you three different examples :)

Some useful tutorials I have found for pale/bw/cp colouring are:

this pale tutorial by @samecoin. Especially useful read because Tippy explains how to avoid whitewashing in pale edits.

this pale tutorial by @kateausten. Very easy to read and to follow.

this colour palette tutorial by @freddyfreemen. They explain the basics and provide a psd too.

this colour palette tutorial by @stenbranlons. Very image heavy which guides you through every step of the way.

A blog dedicated to pale resources is @finesources and is definitely worth checking out!

this tutorials page by completeresources has many many tutorials on how to do different kinds of styles

Btw, this is a useful website that explains all the different adjustment layers in photoshop if you’re still getting the hang of them

ok now onto my examples for the colouring. I will first do simple colouring for which I will use the keanu gif. For vibrant and gradient I will use two different gifs. I usually put my colouring into a group so first, close the video group layer and click this to make a new group which will contain the adjustment layers for our colouring:

SIMPLE COLOURING

First I will brighten the gif up with some curves. That is this tool:

Then you get this window:

As you see, I have selected that white eyedropper tool. Using that I will brighten the image. Basically, you want to click on the whitest part of the gif using that tool. This is because wherever you click, the eyedropper will turn that part into white and adjust the entire gif that way so if you click somewhere dark, you’ll get this white bright fuzzy mess. So I clicked on the lightest place which imo is the white specks near the glass in front of his hand and now my gif looks like this:

Ok now if you look at the above image, there is a black eyedropper two steps above the white one. You want to use that to click on the darkest place of the gif bc it’ll turn that to pure black. Here is my gif when I did that:

not a massive difference but it balances things out. Now I will add some saturation. Click this icon:

which brings up this window. I have already set saturation to around 15 to make it a bit warmer:

and the gif looks like this now:

I think it looks nice, but I would like to add something extra. That is why I am going to play around with selective colour to make the background pop a bit and make the black colour more dark. So click this icon:

and you get this window and these colours (imgur). You can play around a lot with selective colour and manipulate colours! So if I turned the black dial on reds to +100, they would become wayyyy darker. However because I want the background to pop, I would use the colours magenta and blue (and black for the final touch). For those my settings are this: 1 - 2 - 3 (imgur). So now my gif looks like this:

And now i think we are done! For comparison, this is what the gif looked like with absolutely no colouring or sharpening:

And that was all for simple colouring!! Lets move on to vibrant colours!!

VIBRANT COLOURING

For this I will use an example from Thor: Ragnarok bc thor is my soft bb. I did not do much for this first example except play around a lot with selective colour and I used the exact way of adding saturation and curves as shown before. Honestly just playing around with selective is the best bet to get vibrant colouring. The gif without sharpening etc was this:

the gif after colouring and sharpening is this:

pretty sweet huh? Just play a lot with saturation, hue and selective colour and channel mixer and you can create a lot of styles that way!

GRADIENT

for this I will use another clip from Thor, but from The Dark World. It is a bare clip where it is raining and I will add a gradient on it. This is the gif without colouring nor sharpening:

now we will do the sharpening and colouring. I already applied a basic curves and saturation layer so now it looks like this:

It looks a bit better right? Ok lets get that gradient applied. Click here:

and click on gradient, NOT gradient maps bc those are different things and I honestly dont know how maps work.

now this is what will appear, I haven’t changed anything to this yet:

What style, colours, angle you choose is up to you. I personally am going for 0 angle because I want it going right. Now, to choose colours, double click on the colour shown next to the word gradient. This window will show up:

The fun part is you can do what you want here. Just experiment, click the buttons, adjust opacity etc. When you click at the bottom of the bar somewhere another stop marker appears meaning you can have even more colours! Just click on the bottom markers and edit to your hearts content! Use the top button to adjust opacities. Personally I went for this gradient:

Ok but now we have a problem because our gradient is fully covering the image and you can’t see anything. That is where blending modes come in. Right click on the gradient layer and click blending options. This window will pop up (ingur). When you click blending mode, these options appear (imgur).

Here is a good guide explaining the blending modes

I just recommend playing around seeing which one suits you. I went for overlay, which makes my final gif look like this:

and that was that on colouring!! Let me know if u have questions about it! Onto the next part, masks!

★★★★★

- masks

I will not go in depth here, but instead I will link some tutorials but the amazing @thepunisher who has explained it much better than I ever will be able to. The tutorials are all in this link. If you have any questions do lmk but idk how I could explain it.

★★★★★

- adding subtitles

although we wish we could, we can’t all lip read so we need subtitles also I’m hard of hearing and need them anyway but yeah, I will quickly highlight how I add subs! I use the font Arial Rounded MT Bold Regular.

I will first link to this post because it helped me a lot and may explain stuff better than I do.

Lets take the keanu gif we had earlier. In it, he says ‘fish flakes’. Now what I do is this. Click on this icon:

and drag a box around the gif fully. Add your text. Mine looks like this now:

Well that ... does not look like a subtitle. BTW my settings are:

*when there are two people speaking I change the colour of the second person to #ffff00 - also for 540px gifs I usually use 12/13px text.

Ok now I will add the stroke and drop shadow. Right click on the layer of text, click blending options and change your stroke and drop shadow settings to this and this (imgur). Now just click the move tool or hit V on keyboard to select it and drag the gif down wherever you want. Now my final gif looks like this:

Ok, now if you have two gifs and you want them to be the same distance from the bottom, right click the text layer of the first gif document, click duplicate layer and you will get this window:

now click on destination and depending on what files you have open in PS, you will get this window:

now just choose where you want the text to go and if the gifs are the same sizes itll appear exactly where it did in the first one and you can edit the text for the second. You can do this with adjustment layers, groups etc too!!

Now text is done! Off to the next part!

★★★★★

- editing frames / timeline speed

We are done editing, now time to convert to frame animation and edit the speed!

Ok click on the four bars on the right side of the video timeline. It will bring up a menu. From there, select this:

This will make individual layers of every frame into clips. Now, click this at the bottom left side of the video timeline:

This will convert your video timeline to a frame animation timeline. Now it looks like this (imgur). you’re probably wondering wait where the heck did my layers go well don’t fret, lets click the four bars on the right side again and click this:

now look! We have got all our frames into the timeline! Just delete the excessive frames at the front. Now click the four bars again, select all frames and then click the number at the bottom and change it to 0.05 or 0.06 or whatever speed you want:

Now we are done with this step!

★★★★★

- multiple gifs in one grid

I myself am not going to explain this, instead here are links to a few amazing tutorials that will help you further

this tut by @brolinjosh

this tut by @futurist

★★★★★

- actions

Now actions ... man they make everything so much easier. Basically actions are a sequence of steps you undertake in photoshop that are recorded which you can then save and use on multiple files. This makes the giffing process much much faster!!! For instance, these are the actions I have saved (mind the doubles lol I am experimenting a bit!)

As you can see, I have one for undertaking the entire video timeline to frame animation process and one for sharpening and the subtitles. It has saved me around 75% of the original time I put into creating sets before which is a lifesaver.

I cannot explain how to make actions bc I am really bad at explaining stuff, but here are some tutorials:

- https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/creating-actions.html

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/66560261468/how-make-action-%D0%B7

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50583786863/how-to-use-an-action

- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50362731526/how-to-use-actions-on-gifs

https://www.creativebloq.com/adobe/create-own-photoshop-actions-61411918

★★★★★

- exporting the gif

now we’re at the final stage! When you have your gif ready, go to file -> export -> save for web legacy

ok now the next window is this which looks intimidating I know

Well basically, those are my settings above. Make sure the looping option is set at forever. Also on the left size you see how big your gif is, make sure it is under 8mb but tumblr is unstable so keep it under 5MB and it should be fine.

I use different exporting types at times. Sometimes I use selective and pattern, sometimes diffusion or adaptive+dif. Just remember that the gif size depends on which you choose so keep that in mind. Here’s the difference (if u can even spot it).

selective + pattern

selective + diffusion

adaptive + diffusion

Personally I mostly only use selective + pattern!

btw make sure your matte is at NONE!!! This is because otherwise you have those whitish transparent borders on your gif, esp noticable on dark gifs, like shown in this tutorial by the talented @joewright !

And congrats, you have officially made a gif! Now go experiment, have the time of your life and do whatever the heck u want with your gifs. And if you want me to see them, tag me!! I track #usernums !!!

★★★★★

- last minute tips and extra links

man idk what to say here really but here goes:

@completeresources and @allresources are amazing places to learn more about gifmaking, pls take advantage of the opportunity

reminder: quicktime records at 60FPS, so unless you want a laggy gif delete the extra duplicate frames in the frame animation timeline!!

When opening import video frames to layers, do not click skip every second frame!! do not!!!!

Do not steal gifs. Try making them. I know it takes time and it can get frustrating but don’t post someone elses gifs as your own. Even the ugliest gifset in existence made originally by someone is better than a stunning set put together full of stolen gifs from various users. Don’t be that person

Don’t be afraid to ask for help pls just go on anon if u want!!

use the tumblr dimensions!!! I cannot stress enough how important this is because if you don’t, your gifs will look stretched af and lose quality so like .. don’t do that

#completeresources #itsphotoshop #tutorial #resources #gif tutorial #allresources #my tutorials

1K notes · View notes

cutegirlmayra · 3 years

Text

Hotsprings - Sonamy

Rated SE, for Shipping for Everyone ;)

prompt:

It was starting to take its small tolls on Amy.

One day, it was “Sorry, Amy! Eggman’s not playing nice today. Really wasn’t expecting this to come up so soon... but hey! There’s always next time!” ...Always, next time.

She didn’t think much of it until he started sprucing up the words every now and then, “Wow! Is it that time, already? You’re probably not gonna like this... but Tails just discovered-” or, “Dang, this bites, but hey! Listen to this!”, and, “Woohoo! I finally found Shadow! Tough job looking for a literal government secret, but I finally think we’re about to hit a breakthrough!”

It was never, “How ya doing?” or, “Let’s reschedule to about this day and time?” and, “Man, really miss ya though!”

So Amy’s heart began to pang, although she did love his goofy messages, knowing they were sincerely sorry... it just felt like he never had the time to be with her.

So, she took the lead and headed out in the dead of night. However, it was chilly, and she found herself hugging her arms close to herself and shivering as she made it over the hill, which was the last location he had mentioned to her.

“Ohh...” she whined, looking around but finding no trace of anyone there. It was full of crevices left from a battle though, craters and carved up rock cliffs... the ground was extremely uneven, but where Amy had trekked up the hill, it was relatively alright.

Realizing she was just too slow, she stomped her foot down on the wet grass, “Hmph! This is the last time I’m being left behind! ...W-whaaa!!!” She had scarcely moved her arms to her sides to bundle up her fists tightly in her frustrations when a sudden sharp and piecing wind rocked her back, and staggering against it, she found her awkward footsteps causing her to slip up over the flattened surface of fresh, sprinkled, and slushie-like snow to slide down the wet grass.

“Ahhh!!!!” she tumbled and slid until hitting the ground harshly with her chin, making her eyes close and their lids quiver at the pain. “Ah-ah-ouch...” she slowly got up, looking back at the field and through the sprinkled, cold wind could imagine Sonic and the gang’s epic showdown... the last adventure still evident in the landscape.

“...They...” she felt her bottom lip quivering, as though the pain was already forming tears, but her heart now wanted to join the pity party as well. “They must have had so much fun.” The struggle of not feeling somewhat envious of the boys was a bit too much on her poor heart.

She laid back down and softly let herself feel the sorrow of always being blown off to go on some--although important, and she knew it--fantastical adventure that they may or may not write her about.

She pulled out the Miles-Electric Tails had gifted her while tensing against the bitter cold.

She turned on her tracker, just in case anyone was wondering... in case... anyone would notice.

“If I stay out here...” she told herself aloud, desiring to hear something besides the quiet of her lonely, softly falling tears... though they were freezing against her cheeks and making her even colder. “I’ll catch a cold for sure.” She looked up at the foggy white sky... wondering if Sonic and her friends were cold too, or celebrating somewhere far away from her... far away from their devices... that would alert them to her beacon being sent out.

She pulled her legs closer to her, letting her head fall back to the stinging cold of the grass... but at least she couldn’t feel dirt or ground.

She’d have to wash up anyway, it’s not like she’d freeze to death...

She felt a sniffle come from her nose as her eyes were beginning to burn.

“Sonic hates crying...” she told herself, but continued to let little tears fall. “Maybe... he’ll just know... and come find me.”

Her hopes pushed through her mind as she continued to call his name, wondering if somewhere, somehow... he’d take a moment to think of her...

Then her Miles-Electric blinked on and she held it closer, desperate to see what was on it.

Another beacon... but not Sonic’s.

“Ohh...” Amy sat up and wiped some of the frosty tears off her cheeks, feeling the wind pick up and trying to face her back towards it, hoping to brace against the cruelty of the seasons of nature just a few more minutes.

She had traveled pretty far, but seeing the beacon, she responded with a message. “I’m out right now, and it’s freezing cold! Who’s out here too?”

The message she received looked a lot like Knuckles’s awful key-pressing, and trying to decode his bad usage of spelling and grammar, she tilted the Miles-Electric to get a better look... when the reflection showed a on-coming blizzard or avalanche sweeping through the forest.

She gasped and looked behind her, seeing the rolling cloud of snow like a large, trumpeting wave that was crashing over everything in sight.

Something so big... would easily cover her in seconds.

Gasping, she got up immediately and clicked on the video, sending the message out with her beacon active. “Help!!!” she cried out, slipping up the hill as she tried to find some traction.

Looking back at the on-coming snow storm, stampeding upon the ground and leaping in a rushed frenzy to spray out at the air, she abandoned the video and simply tried to run.

Finally making it up the slippery slope she gasped as she was covered immediately in pounding cold punches that seemed to topple over one another.

Afraid, she sucked in a breath, knowing she could suffocate if she didn’t.

It was hard though, with all the weight, she could barely feel her stomach want to move.

When the sounds turned muffled and she knew she was buried under feets of snow, she kicked and tried to waved about to loosen the snow but she was pinned...

The next best thing... was to...

Feeling she needed air, she curled up into a ball and spun as best she could. Making her body smaller was the perfect solution, the snow was easily manipulated by her spinning and she created a small hole for herself.

She uncurled and tried to breathe, pushing upwards but the snow only bumped slightly up. “No..!” she felt her breath freeze as though with each breath, icicles formed in her lungs, but she knew that was exaggerating.

It was so cold... she couldn’t feel her feet or hands anymore.

Realizing if she summoned her hammer, she could have the snow compact instead of remaining like flurries, and she knew she couldn’t risk it.

She instead started to burrow, but the snow quickly collapsed over her, “Ah!” and she had to curl and spin again.

Exhausted, not having enough oxygen, and feeling the snow would turn to slush soon and ice over... leaving her in an unpleasant prison or worse... tomb... she patted the edges to find the most grainy or soft falling snow pile she could, and dived.

“Rragh!” she kicked her legs through and started to tunnel, feeling it collapse on her, she held her breath. It already stung to breathe anyway, being extremely uncomfortable and somewhat painful to suck in.

She felt the weight keeping her from moving anywhere and then felt the snow under her collapse as well.

“Ahh!!” she was now with her legs above her and uncomfortably arching her back. Freezing... she wasn’t in her little crude igloo anymore...

As she tried to shift around, more snow fell, and she struggled to even get up.

Her hands were just moving through piles and piles of snow that dropped her further down... she had made a small tunnel pocket and then fell through more of the snow...

She began to panic, curling and spinning but the snow wasn’t strong here, so it just dug her down deeper and she uncurled again, back in an even more uncomfortable position with no way to push herself further up and out.

However... pushing the snow that had compiled at her face, she saw there was a yellow beam of light on the top.

“Ah..!” she knew she couldn’t make it, but at least the exit was somewhat closer than she thought. “Help..! Ah..” More snow tumbled the more noise she made...

Pulling out the Miles-Electric and brushing out the snow from it, she moved her arms to her center and tried to balance her weight on her head and shoulders, using her elbows to give somewhat a stability to her predicament.

If she had a neck, it’d be hurting twice as much too.

The Miles-Electric was still recording... “Someone get over here! I’m trapped!” she had just enough breath and strength to whisper a cry out for help again. The Miles-Electric then read- ‘Succeeded file limit, your recording has ended. Sending the first half.’

She groaned, “Tails...” she was about to complain but put that aside and didn’t record anymore, “Knuckles...” she clicked his beacon and found that it had ended. “...Sonic...” she felt more warm tears threatening, and just to feel the warmth, was tempted to cry. But knowing it would only freeze her faster, she didn’t. Shaking her head, she felt more wet snow fall on her head, and brushing it off, began to be afraid as breathing was harder in this position, her body heat was melting the snow... she would be in a icy prison sooner than she anticipated.

“I just wanted to find you...” she admitted, looking up at the top where she thought the exit was. “I... I’m so lonely... without you.” she hugged the Miles-Electric, a light as the yellow beam began to fade and it turned white with foggy light.

She was breathing irregularly, in shallow breaths due to the cold, her upside-down position, and her panic setting in as her body wanted to struggle but she forced some trained breathing that kept her somewhat warm.

She tried to close her eyes and figure out how to keep herself warm. The more spread out she was, the less she’d fall, but the colder she’d get.

“What’s taking them so long!” she finally blurted out, as more snow sounded out her vibrated echoes and then her vision was taken from her as the tunnel collapsed.

“Ah-!”

She didn’t know how long it had been... since she shut her eyes.

She wondered if when they found her, what would they react like? She didn’t want them to be sad... before coming out, she had thought about wearing something, but figured she’d arrive at the end of their adventure so they’d take her back with them regardless. She thought the worst she’d receive, at most, was a cold.

And then with a cold... at least Sonic wouldn’t feel guilty about canceling so much... she would have a plausible excuse... other than feeling it was making him feel a negative way by constantly having to write her apology texts.

It was so cold... she almost felt herself stop breathing just to avoid more melted snow she was swallowing ice over her insides... when muffled thumping came from above.

She squinted her eyes through the white snow, melting over her bangs... dripping down to her eyes as though she was submerged over water.

She tilted her head and shook it slightly, moving some of the snow as she still hugged the activated Miles-Electric.

More scuffling through the snow as she saw it start being scooped away in fast piles, just vanishing as more and more light came through.

She smiled, ‘Always... in the nick of time.’

She saw a familiar white glove reach down and continue digging.

‘Sonic...’ she felt her consciousness weakening at the growing light. ‘Couldn’t make an excuse this time... could you?’ she morbidly joked to herself as she felt his glove hit against her raised boot.

She could hear her name through the snow, muffled and seeming distant, she shivered and tried to move her foot to show she was alright.

But it was so numb, not even tingles anymore.

She could barely feel the pressure of Sonic’s hands gripping her boot and pulling. However, the snow had compacted, and pulling her out wasn’t much of an option without first cracking through it.

She shivered again, hoping the action served to prove she was alive.

She was too cold to speak out loud, but was so happy to be found.

More scooping through the snow, before finally, Sonic’s head could be seen through the small tunnel that she was looking up from.

“Amy!” she could hear him... she could see him through the blurry white of her vision.

She mumbled, trying to speak but he reached down, putting his whole arm through the snow and into the tunnel till he could feel the resting snow on her. He patted as though making sure he could reach her, before brushing off the snow and seeing her blink. “Can you move?” he called, but she could only shiver, her hands frozen in spot and shaking as she couldn’t even feel if she was gripping the Miles-Electric still or not.

She kept trying to form the words ‘help’ but couldn’t.

It just sounded like sniffling stifles, and Sonic moved out his arm to look in with his eye, seeing her predicament. “Wow, it tumbled you good, didn’t it? Hang on!” he spun through the snow. She wanted to warn him that by doing so, he’d slip into a nasty tomb as well, but it was too late.

She felt herself falling further and Sonic spread himself out after uncurling and realizing why Amy couldn’t move.

His gritted teeth now parted to show his amazement at how bad the situation really was, but she saw his expression change from a ‘rescue’ to a ‘life-threatening predicament’.

As his face turned serious, she was glad to see he was finally absorbing the true depth of the sad tale she was writing.

He bent down and wrapped an arm around her head, “Push me down and get yourself up, I can burrow through the snow.”

He couldn’t even swim...

When his glove touched her, she let out a painful cry, and he flinched away.

“What’s..?” he didn’t finish his question, her skin felt ice. He realized her back was probably frostbitten and that his immediate warmth and pulling on her probably just cracked skin. Now he was glaring at the top of the snow, “...Shoot.” it was like a cuss for him.

“Well, we’ve certainly gotten ourselves into an adventure... huh, Amy?” She knew why he wasn’t showing her his face... he was trying not to frighten her.

She didn’t want to feel anything anymore, but simply watch him, already comforted by the fact that she was found.

He’d get them both out of this... and maybe... when it didn’t hurt so much... give her a warm hug that never parted his arms from around her again.

Her lip trembled as she wanted to also comfort him but couldn’t speak, her lungs already severely damaged from the cold and her breathing even more appalling.

His ears flicked as he tested the snow’s durability and noticed how it became more solid above him and less so below. “Strange.” he look back at Amy, “Ready for a bit of a rushed exit?”

She knew what he was saying.

‘Brace yourself.’.

This was going to hurt a lot.

She mustered a nod, but slipped her balance and he grabbed her.

“AHH!!” she let out a cry and as his fast moving feet piled snow under them, and finally, he was able to manage to tumble the powdery snow away and get to the more crystal blue kind, and gripped the walling of the tunnel.

“Hang on!” he spin dashed her out with a throw. His supersonic feet made their usual sound effect as he got himself out as well, and saw Amy crash into the snow, sinking down. “No..!” he tried to move through the snow like he did last time to reach her and grabbed her before she could be sunken beneath the snow again.

His gloves were sprinkled with pink, flakey particles of skin and he winced at how badly her condition was. “Come on, endure it just a bit longer, I’ve got you.” he picked her up and moved her over his back as he tried to find a way to not touch her exposed back so much, not wanting to cause further damage.

Trekking through the snow, he had to go a lot slower than he liked too, but was continuing to move towards less and less snowbanks, more and more compacted, solid footing and sighed when he finally reached a tree, knowing he was somewhere near the mountain’s forest valley now.

“Phew, how we doing back there?” he looked over his shoulder and froze when he saw her out cold...

He bit his mouth shut and studied her unconscious face, feeling her shallow breathing from her stomach now.

It was a sunny day, but...

He looked to see the mountain had some caves, and knew a good spot for her recovery.

Thinking quickly, he didn’t want her back exposed to the sun if it really was frostbitten, and moved swiftly against the snowy terrain.

The rocks were cold and slippery, but he kept Amy on his shoulders tried to only grab at her arms and legs, keeping her from falling off.

When reaching the cave he had remembered, he was glad to see some fireflies also took shelter here, and watched them glow and descend in their sleep.

There were huge, leafy plants and other large ferns and then... a duel pool with two large mouths that had one wide waterfall from the top of a slit in the mountain.

It was misty... and he was glad he had found it in time.

Lightly setting Amy down near the mounded rocks by the waterfall’s slit, he looked to try and find anything that could warm her up safely.

Taking some of the leaves, he stripped them off the low, fatted tree sprouts and drapped them over her, rubbing her arms first and then her head.

She was wet and hardly breathing... he needed to dry her first.

Working swiftly, he had her dry but dared not to address her back yet.

He closed his eyes, getting a bit upset at the state she was in and trying to remember the locations where herbs for healing were.

Once calmed down enough to focus, he washed his gloves, luckily not stained, in the spring and then waited for them to dry before charging out of the mountain again.

Skidding down the peak with nothing but his red, golden buckled shoes to act as skis, he wobbled his arms for balance a moment and then expertly rode down the mountain. Normally, he’d be doing tricks, but in this case, he just bent his head down and made himself more angular, allowing the icy wind to move right over him.

He rolled into a spinball on his way down and then quickly went to gather the herbs. Each item wasn’t too far away... some for blood clots, disinfecting, encouraging skin healing, and others for the inner-use like to contrast the bitter cold and warm her up a bit.

He kept collecting whatever was useful but close by, and for him, that could be miles and miles away, but it was nothing to what he could do if he had solid ground to dash across.

Arriving back at the cave, he moved over and noticed Amy was finally breathing a bit more normal, the fireflies were attracting around her and a dragonfly went to sit on her ear but Sonic flicked his hand and it flew off.

He tsk’ed at the curious insects and also batted them lightly away, before sitting down beside her and getting the ingredients prepared.

“..Ah..! Ughh... S...Sonic?” Amy slowly came to, and he smiled.

“For a snowy retreat, you sure picked the worst place to be.” he kid, applying the second layer to her back.

“AH!” she tightened against the pain, “W-what is that? Moss?!”

“It’s chewed herbal medicine, for your information.” he lightly rubbed it over the cracking of her skin, and as he pulled his hand away, Amy noticed the red on his gloves...

“...Chewed?” she looked away, disgusted.

Sonic shrugged, half-heartedly pouting his lips a moment as though excusing her distaste. “Had to mix the medicines somehow. Don’t complain if it’s shoddy. I didn’t want to waste any time looking for proper applications at the grocery store.” he teased, and continued to work on her.

She endured, making less noise then before. Squinting her eyes, she moved her hands up to her chin, laying on her stomach and just trying to breath in the warm mist that was around her. “Where... emm... are we?”

“Welcome to Sonic Hotsprings!” he gestured, just playing around and keeping the mood light. “After all the times I couldn’t make it, I tend to pick the lousiest times to take you out, huh, Amy?”

It actually did make her smile, even through the yucky gunk he was putting on her back. It smelled... but she had the right to think it was moss, it was extremely dark green, and looked as though lumps of wetted goop.

“Did you find me..?”

“Through your tracker? Yeah. Didn’t expect the video though. That scared the living daylights out of Knuckles.” He seemed to grow more somber after saying that. “You... didn’t hold back on that shock effect.”

She realized she must have scared him too, but he didn’t want to admit it.

“I’m sorry...” she lightly spoke through the side of her muzzle, looking away as she felt the warm goop start stinging... but at least that meant it was working... somewhat.

“Don’t be,” Sonic’s voice turned tender, and she blushed slightly under hearing it, her ears curling back slightly to secretly hear him better. “I’m glad you made it. Seriously, if it weren’t for that video, we’d just have figured you were cold...”

“Would... would you have still come for me?” she didn’t know if he would really answer that, and with the sudden silence, she figured the video was what saved her life.

“Of course, I would have.” Sonic finally spoke out, but it was quiet... too quiet. “Why would you ask something like that..?”

She didn’t respond right away, but waited a moment. His hands on her back made her feel some form of a peace, and she finally did close her eyes and state, “I don’t know. Nevermind me. I’m just tired... that snow really bites.”

Sonic smiled a moment, his eyes bending as though knowing that was an understatement. “You can rest here, Amy. It’s warm. Though kinda damp, that ‘moss’ on your back will stay a bit wet and heal the better.” She heard him wiping his hands in a clap against each other and getting up.

She turned her head, “Where are you-Ah..!” she moved back into the position she was and felt Sonic kneel by her head, lightly placing a hand on it.

“Don’t move... you’ll crack more if you do.” His touch was more just precaution, and she didn’t feel any real pressure from it. “Your body is still like crumbling ice, give it a bit to thaw out. You’ll be fine overnight.”

“Overnight?” her eyes widened, “Wait-!” she saw him out of the corner of her eye descending the rocks to the hot spring.

He stopped, looking over his shoulder again to show he was listening.

“You’re not leaving me here... all alone... are you, Sonic The Hedgehog!?”

He laughed, “Didn’t realize you were scared of the dark.” He gave her a playful wink, “No, Amy. I’m not going anywhere.” he reassured her, and then pointed to the two pools. “I’m kinda cold myself. You can join me when you feel moving doesn’t bother you anymore.” he went down to the hotsprings as she sighed and grumbled at his inconsiderateness.

“So he heals my back but goes to warm up... typical.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Amy cried out, but continued to grumble off to the side.

“This wouldn’t have even happened if you had just kept your appointments with me..?”

“What?”

“Must be the waterfall!” Amy continued to fib.

“Oh, cause it sounded like the waterfall wasn’t grateful.” Sonic joked, snickering from below as he dipped his hands into the water and washed up. “I was just about to tell the inconsiderate waterfall to quiet down so you could sleep, should I still scold it for being so splashy and loud?” he smirked and leaned his head up, hoping she could hear him over the naturally pleasant sounds of the falling, rushing water.

She remained silent, then he heard fake snoring and nodded his head.

“Okay! Nevermind.” he then moved to the mouth of the cave, “Mr. Waterfall, I expect you to tell Amy upon her next momentary spur of consciousness, that I have momentarily left you to host her as I forage for some food. Now, if she tells me you even so much as grumbled a complaint against me-” He turned back with a lazy point, “I’ll write you a bad review.” he then chuckled to himself and sped off.

When he was gone, Amy attempted to sit up, and trying hard not to bend or angle her back in anyway, finally got herself up to spread out her knees and sit on the rock and look out after him.

Longing... it was the only way to describe the expression on her face.

“He’s got a lot of nerve...” she puffed out, seeing the mist part at her breath. “But that’s my Sonic for you... always trying to brighten a dark cave.” She was amused over her analogy but digressed, moving to try and stretch out her sore limps and rubbed against her cold arms.

“Brr... he could have come sooner.” she argued, then looked to the waterfall. “...You wouldn’t rat me out... a guest... right?” she smiled to it, and then tried to get up. “Ah!” she fell to a knee as the goop was firmly attached to her back, but definitely holding back her bleeding back.

She shook her head, “No good... I really should rest... but... I don’t want to close my eyes again.” She admitted and crawled as well and slowly as she could down the rocks.

She dipped her hand into the water and immediately felt herself relaxing at the warmth it gave. “Awwh~... Now this is the only state of water I’ll ever accept.” she looked over to the large, almost stunted palm trees that were ginormous by the entrance and around the cave. “...Wow, they look prehistoric.” She cautiously stood up, wincing a time or two at her haste to move, but too stubborn to just sleep and wait for food.

She carefully removed her wet and still cold clothes, and tugged the palm tree leaf down.

It was perfect, it wrapped around her and even fell down longer than any towel she ever had, and tucked and tied it securely around her.

“Well, Sonic did say it was a hot springs...” She looked to see the two pools and quickly went to work making a curtain.

“Hmm... didn’t think this through.” she realized there wasn’t anything to hold up the long blanket she was trying to construct, and knowing if Sonic returned, the blanket would only cover the view from the two adjacent pools, not the entrance.

She lifted her head back and sighed, “Ahhh... he’s gonna think badly of me!” she let her head flop down to her chest and groaned at the stretching of her skin that she knew could only mean she was making her condition worse.

“Okay, we’ll cover the waterfall then.”

She tied the large palms to create a self-standing curtain, arching the waterfall, before realizing this trapped her within.

“Augh!” she kicked the curtain down, “Some hotsprings if it doesn’t even allow some form of privacy!”

She froze when the curtain fell and Sonic stared from having sped through the entrance of the cave, blinking as though not expecting Amy to be wrapped in a leaf sitting under the waterfall.

He averted his eyes slowly as they just so happen to come across her clothes sprawled against a branch of a leaf.

Amy, embarrassed, withdrew behind the waterfall and covered her face. “MMMMMMMM...” she groaned, “Nothing’s going my way today, is it?”

It’s not like Sonic could see anything, she was just wearing a long dress almost, but still...

She kicked her feet out from the waterfall, “Don’t just stand there! R-roll me the fruit!”

He thought to himself, ‘If I were a lesser man... this would be pretty bad for her.’ but then jokingly let the idea slide and walked to side, laying down the fruits and rolling them through the waterfall while avoiding looking at her.

“Any reason why you’re not sound asleep and trying to heal yourself?” he kept his eyes averted, but then sat down and began his own plans... taking his shoes and socks off to soak in one of the pools anyway.

She pulled her feet in and caught the fruit, chewing quickly on them.

“Hey! You’ll choke if you don’t-” he leaned his head back, looking over to her now as he heard her start coughing with a mouth full of food.

He sighed, dipping his head back down and walking over to the curtain, shaking his head.

“Not like I couldn’t have done this for you, you know?” he looked back at the blurred pink behind the waterfall, and smiled sweetly at her shyness. “You look like you belong in Hawaii with that dress on.”

She wouldn’t dare call it a towel now.

“I... I really wanted to be in the water...” she pushed her two pointer fingers together, taking more polite, lady-like bites now.

He moved to the water’s edge and dunked his feet in up to his knees, sitting down and sighing at the warmth.

“Yeah, well... I did say we’d be here a while.”

She could hear him judging her and spat out at the falling water.

His ear twitched, and he quietly chuckled at her growing frustration as he lifted one leg out of the water. “Want me to turn away while you get in?”

“No!” she barked, too embarrassed now to even move.

“Ah...” Sonic figured it was something like that, and lowered the raised leg back into the water. “...How’s the back?”

“...It hurts...”

“I told you to sleep it off. Did all the medicine I apply stay on?” he looked over his shoulder, but wasn’t actually looking at anything, just addressing her.

“...Yeah, it’s still on.”

“...I should check to make you an honest guest.” he muttered to himself, leaning over the water and scratching his nose.

“...What?”

“Hmm?” he leaned towards her direction.

“D-did you say something? I couldn’t hear you...”

“Oh, just Mr. Waterfall and me. He just informed me this is a co-ed hotspring. Guess we didn’t need this.” he kicked the blanket and she about had a tissy-fit, throwing some fruit at his head as he ducked and laughed. “Amy, since when have I ever disrespected you?”

“Don’t even joke about that!” she hid herself more behind the waterfall, but shivered since she couldn’t feel the warmth of the water anymore...

Sonic grew a bit bashful then too, realizing she was making this awkward when he was hoping it wouldn’t be.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

She heard the splashing of him leaving and immediately moved through the waterfall, “Wait!” she held a hand to the top of her leaf to make sure the waterfall didn’t sag the covering down, and then sat under the waterfall, blushing and looking away. “Geez, you really have no idea about social norms, do you?”

He didn’t look at her, but smiled and closed his eyes, turning to walk to the waterfall and sat a distance away from her, letting it massage his tired shoulders from digging them out of the snow. “Ahh~ I know the norms. But I didn’t exactly break any rules, now did I?”

“Are you blaming me then!?” Amy puffed up her cheek and he turned his head away, showing her even more so that he was respecting not to stare.

“You’re covered, anyway, but I’m not interested in anything than making sure the medicine stays on your back.” he stretched, showing he was relaxed, although she didn’t realize how uncomfortable he really was.

She blushed and looked away from him, but sighed and agreed that she should trust he only was interested in her recovery...

But that made her somewhat disappointed too...

“You... You saved me. Thank you.” she ducked her head down.

“Anytime!” he let the water slide off his back and kept his eyes closed for her, just so she didn’t have to worry or fret.

Amy watched the pools as Sonic and her’s splashes from the water hitting against them created rippling symphonies out of them...

“...Do you ... Do you know why I was there?”

“Last known location that I sent you.. yeah?”

She dipped her head further down, but moved her legs to let them sink into the warm water of the other pool.

She smiled at finally feeling warm and closed her eyes, looking up and no longer being self-conscious anymore.

“It’s been so long... since I had even heard your voice. For some time now, I wondered if you were just avoiding me again...”

“Again?” Sonic’s voice sounded surprised, but she continued.

“I just... I didn’t know why you would plan something and then let something else come up so frequently... a girl can only accept being told to wait so many times...” she gave a humorous grumble, but with her eyes closed, was glad she didn’t have to look to see Sonic’s reaction.

She tilted her head and bent to let the water flow more directly, and that’s when Sonic piped up.

“Hey, the medicine...”

“This ‘dress’ is locked so tightly that it’s not even touching it.” she argued, “Just trust me on that.”

Silence for a moment...

“Then trust me that I never planned to need to cancel on you so many times...”

She felt her heart, still slightly frosted, begin to melt with a few gentle thumps at his kind words.

She couldn’t help but giggle a second, lifting a leg up from the pool and letting it down again, hearing it’s gentle movement in the spring.

“Why did you cancel? Couldn’t you have rested from your big adventure with me?”

“Heh, guess you have a point.”

“I do, don’t I? Why didn’t you ever suggest alternative days? Or times? Why didn’t ask how I was feeling or how I felt about you canceling all the time... did you... did you just not think about how that might have affected me? After so many times..?”

He could tell by her voice she was getting upset, and took a big breath in.

“No, Amy.” He admitted, “I honestly didn’t think about it.”

She felt her lips tighten, but accepted his ignorance. “You’ve got a one-track mind, alright... But when you’re with Tails or Knuckles..? Compared to me..? Is it... is it somewhat different?”

“The solutions?” Sonic questioned.

“No, no... not their reactions to being blown off-”

“Hey! I never blew you off!” Sonic countered, “I just couldn’t make it! At least give me that.”

Amy rolled her head, stretching it out, “I don’t want to explain it to you...” she admitted, weakly sighing it out in an escalating trill. “Ahh~ You’re so annoying!!!~”

Sonic actually laughed at that, quietly, but she was glad he at least thought her complaining cute.

“...Give it a try?”

His words made her grow weaker... and not being able to resist his charms, she conceded.

“When I see you look at Tails... or Knuckles... it’s like you’re really looking at them.”

The waters sounds seemed to become ambiance as she spoke.

“I can’t remember the last time... you really looked at me. Seeing who I really am.., by looking down into the depths of my soul... and accepting every part of it. You always say how you see the best in people before the worst. You also say you just have this sense of knowing if someone is in the right or the wrong... I’ve been wondering... thinking a lot about it... have you... found something you can’t stand to see in me? That’s why you... you don’t mind being taken away on some amazing adventures with Tails and Knuckles... but you’re perfectly fine leaving me behind?”

When she opened her eyes, she wondered if the warmth was from the waterfall trailing down her form or from her own tears.

She hadn’t been this honest, even with herself for a long time...

“Being in that icy snow... was like being away from your gaze forever...”

When she looked over to see him, she was shocked to see his eyes were opened, staring into her soul, and not looking away.

With red all over her face at his intense but kind eyes, she summoned her hammer and walloped him into the water.

“W-ah-wah-wahhh!!” he fell instantly into the pool.

“Ah! Sonic!” She immediately regretted her action, and getting up, felt the sting in her back but still dived into the water.

Seeing him struggle, his cheeks were puffed with air and he kept trying to ‘run’ through the water, but couldn’t.

Giving up, he folded his arms and let himself sink, but looked up to see Amy wrapping her arms around his head, and getting to the bottom of the pool, kicking off and pulling him up too.

“Pah!” the two took a breath in together and Amy moved his flailing arms around her shoulders, kicking to guide him back to the edge.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t expecting you to be that close!”

He coughed and hacked before looking back to her, “I just... wanted to see your eyes... real badly.” he panted, and then coughed some more.

She couldn’t help but smile, then push him back further onto the land. “Get the curtain, already!”

“Fine... fine...” He hacked at the end and then raced to get his bearings and do as he was told.

The two sat, back to back with the leafy curtain finally strung up between them.

She could feel his heart though, rapidly pacing and scrunched her body inward, hoping it meant something romantic and not just the fact that he was drowning moments before.

“...What did you see?”

“Nothing. Just you in a leaf dress.”

“No! Not that!” she batted the leaf curtain, “Sonic! I meant in my eyes!”

“O-oh, that...” he paused a moment...

In his mind, he had seen her descend through the water with the ends of her leaf dress spread out like miniature wings... Her quills had spread out around her head to flow effortlessly through the water as she reached him.

Her arms wrapped around him and he was pulled up to her, and it was the first time he had felt her so close to him...

He had a goofy grin and kept rubbing his muzzle, knowing his feelings might be all over it by now...

“I saw a girl.” he stated, thinking his words carefully. “Reaching out to me in the only way she knew how.”

Amy blushed and smacked her hands to the side of her cheeks, “A-and? W-wh-what else did you see... was that it?” she puckered her lips as though disappointed again, but he continued.

“Nah, there was more. So much more, in fact, that I couldn’t peel my eyes away... There’s so much more there than I ever knew... Even if it was a brief moment...”

His mind moved to seeing her eyes under the water, the warm heat and her arms around him, her eyes opened wide as she dipped down to embrace him and pull him up out of the depths of the pool.

He suddenly sneezed.

“Sonic!”

He rubbed his nose, “Guess I’ll have to make another appointment to finish, huh?”

“That’s-! Ah...” she was about to complain again before realizing what this meant...

He wanted to spend time with her. He wasn’t trying to push her away or pull himself away with his adventures.

She gripped her leafy towel closer to her and nodded, “Okay... but you better not be late this time! And you better tell me the end of that sentence, you hear me!? Sonic,..! Sonic The Hedgehog!”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you, I hear you!” Sonic waved his hand about in the air, and looking back to the curtain, Amy could see his shadow doing the action. “But now, I’m pretty sure that medicine might have polluted the pool a bit...”

“It’s fine. I still feel it. You applied it well.” She looked towards where her clothes were. “S-Son-Sonic?”

“Hmm?” he was finally relaxing, enjoying the warmth, the company... even Amy’s rapidly beating heart.

He lifted a leg up and leaned slightly back against the curtain, hoping beforehand he wouldn’t hurt her by leaning against her back, but seeing as she was recovering well, decided to test it.

She didn’t wince, but instead, fidgeted and decided it was best to not ask for it quite yet.

“Nevermind... Thank you, for everything...”

“Nah, thank you.”

“For what?”

He patted the curtain, “For making this, without it, I might have actually tried to hold your hand.” he teased.

“Ah! Stop teasing me!” she pushed against the curtain, “Don’t you know how much I-! Ah! Sonic!” she realized she pushed him back into the pool, but instead of struggling this time, he waited for her to come in and rescue him.

“Sonnnniicc!!!” she pushed up the leafy curtain and dived in after him.

He was laying on the bottom of the pool’s floor again, eyes closed, hands behind his head and legs crossed slightly.

He looked up to see that same image, and smiled as her form met his at the bottom of the hotspring...

Wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer as she raced to save him, he never took his eyes... off of hers.

#sonamy #sonicxamy #sonic prompt #sonic au #sonic au prompt #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #cutegirlmayra

105 notes · View notes

leejeongz · 4 years

Text

stray kids reaction to their s/o having dimples

😔unfortunately i can not relate but anyone who has dimples is automatically cute and they should know that i will fall in love with them 😔

😀thanks for requesting and thanks for saying u love my blog i’m gonna go cry bout that now ehhehehehe so sweet 😀

scenario: you and your boyfriend had been in a long distance relationship for around 6 months, calling and texting whenever you could. because of the grainy video quality, he’d never noticed you had dimples before and you never really thought to bring it up. when you met for the first time, of course you smiled at the sight of him and then he saw them...

bang chan:

“oh” he paused for second, hands holding your arms down while he twisted you around on the spot. “we’re dimple twins” he laughed. he poked yours, poked his, then poked yours again.

“who would have thought it?” you laughed with him. you thought about all of those soulmate fanfics you used to read about your favourite celebrities. “maybe this is our soulmate thing?” you pointed between your faces jokingly.

“maybe” he winked before he took your hand and continued his day with you. secretly he wished throughout the whole time you spent together that people would bring up your matching dimples and say how perfect you were together.

lee know:

once he’d finished hugging you, he pulled away to look at your pretty smile again.

“face holes” he whispered cutely while poking your dimples.

you looked at him weirdly, he did come out with some strange things but you think you just heard the number 1.

“do you have to make everything weird?” you asked sarcastically.

“you’re the one with face holes” he scoffed. you had no response to that, like how should one even respond you thought. “they are cute face holes though if that makes it any less weird” he joked trying to fill the silence.

“it does not”

changbin:

he thought he saw them, he wasn’t too sure though so he had to wait to see them again just incase. he spent the rest of the day trying to figure it out but your eyes were too distracting. either that or he couldn’t help but kiss you at the time.

you decided to end your first day together by going to his favourite restaurant. you ordered your food and smiled at the waiter, and there they were.

“hmm so it’s true” he reached over the table to squeeze your cheeks “they’re cute i like them” he giggled.

your face flushed red, the waiter had seen it all. changbin hadn’t even ordered yet. “sorry you had to see that” you said to the waiter standing awkwardly.

hyunjin:

“hello dimples” he said staring at them. “i’ve never noticed them before y/n but... they’re cute” he didn’t seem convinced.

you looked at him with furrowed brows and asked “are you sure you like them?” to which he nodded. “could you perhaps... i don’t know... tell your face?”

he shook his head as if to shake off a daydream. “i’m only joking baby, they’re EXTREMELY cute” he giggled out while opening his arms for a hug. “anything that you have is cute, including me of course”

you pulled away from him and gave him a disgusted look “i’ll go back home, don’t test me Hwang Hyunjin” you joked.

han:

he pinched your cheeks almost immediately after seeing them. he was literally about to die from how cute you were like he was NOT doing well. he smiled so brightly at you and giggled a bit before asking “have you always had those?”

you looked at him, still smiling but this time smiling at his silly question “i mean yeah, but if it makes you feel any better not many people notice them or point them out. i feel so honoured that THE han jisung did” you sniffed like you were crying

by the point he’d let go of your cheeks, now grabbing his heart dramatically “y/n don’t do this to me, i might cry!” he exclaimed, his smile getting bigger and bigger with every word.

felix:

he let out the most outrageous noise when he noticed them. “can i touch them y/n pleaseeeeeee?” he begged. you didn’t even know what he was on about which was the funny thing.

“touch what?” you questioned, slightly apprehensive about his response.

“your dimples, silly” by this point, he was already touching them anyway, regardless of if you said yes or no. “they’re SO cute oh my gosh why am i so lucky to have you.”

you laughed at hit his chest playfully “they’re just dimples, no biggie”

seungmin:

“does that mean you never properly smiled while we spoke on call y/n? wow you’re such a fake” he joked while staring into your eyes and holding your hands. you couldn’t work out why he asked such a question and your face seemingly gave that away.

“... because of the dimples” he added “ya know those things that come out when you smile?”

“OH” you quickly had to think of a response “i think the quality was just bad when on call, even when i think about you i smile, Seungmin”.

he kinda felt bad now for making such a joke and so he decided to hug you to hide his embarrassment “stopppp, you’re making me blush” he said in the sweetest tone ever.

you wish you saw him blushing now.

jeongin:

“AHHH CUTE” he screamed at the top of his voice. you were sure people on the other side of the world could have heard him. “dimples are my favourite” he smiled “especially on you”.

you complimented him back on his dimples. they really were cute, but you were definitely not gonna shout about it in a public place.

“sorry was that a bit much?” he asked, his eyes sinking a little. your heart broke at the sight. “they’re just so cute i couldn’t help myself”

“no no don’t worry, just...” you tried to find the right word “unexpected”. he smiled again. “TWINS” you shouted as loudly as you could. oh the things you’d do for that boy.

gifs aren’t mine

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reaction #bang chan #changbin #lee know #seungmin #i.n #han jisung #hyunjin #felix

185 notes · View notes

mxrisacoulter · 3 years

Text

2020 Creator Wrap: Favourite works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

I was tagged by the wonderful @iressails. Thank you!💛

I don’t speak to many people on here, so I’m just going to tag some mutuals I simp for (i still love you if you’re not tagged sorry i have v bad memory and am generally scared of people) @coultxr @lmillers @atenexo @amirwilson @coulter @bitchinlyras

Also thank you to everyone for liking/reblogging/following me this year. I started making gifs again for the first time in so long and it warms my heart to see people enjoying them. Anyway, time for some controversial takes

1. This gifset of the dance scene in i’m thinking of ending things. Honestly one of the nicest colourings I’ve ever done. I really love that scene and I managed to up the vibrancy on the red hair without the skin tones going wack. Also the blues and the reds are just *chefs kiss* It also took me downloading two different versions of this and a different video player in order to capture the frames and photoshop crashed like twice ahhhh

2. This rainbow set of Mrs Coulter. Also a great labour of love (seriously finding that a gif to do red took so long). Not much more to say, I just think the colours are nice.

3. It’s a tie between what I shall call my ‘ruth being chaotic in interviews’ series. This one of her trying to say alethiometre, this one of general interview chaos™, and ofc brian fisher appreciation. The tags on all those sets were really wholesome and now I’ve seen more Ruth Wilson interviews than any one person reasonably should.

4. This one of Marisa and the spectres. Probably doesn’t seem that remarkable, but it was the first time I started playing around with sharpening and using a 2160p download. I really don’t know what I did, but it has a much more grainy look than my normal gifs, which was fun, and it can be hard to make big gifs look decent, so that was cool. Also that scenes really hot so

5. It’s got to be s01e04 of my hdm rewatch. This was my first series playing with colours a ton and I think this was my best one out of that set.

Some honorable mentions

Colouring I’m proud of: hdm rewatch s01e05 (I literally coloured every frame of the purple gif individually ahhh), mrs wilson (there was a lot of yellow to neutralise), hester and lyra + pan from the hdmsourcefanweek (really wish I could remember how to do this kind of colouring rip), mlm/wlw solidarity crack (again complete fluke, but it looks nice)

Basically I’m the funniest person on this platform: ‘acting choices’, wii music and boreal being dramatic

#personal #there are others but my brain is done rip #this was a fun way to realise im not actually mutuals with some people 👀

9 notes · View notes

lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

A Change in the Weather AU (inspired by Cacophonylights's A Change in the Weather) - Chapter 29

Read on AO3.

“Who in the world needs three trousseaus?” Sebastian moans, trudging behind his boyfriend, his sister, and his soon-to-be brother-in-law through what Olivia refers to as “the hallowed halls of Carolina Premium Outlets”. Kurt was initially surprised that a woman with the financial means of Olivia Smythe would opt to shop at an outlet mall instead of the other upscale clothing stores within a hundred mile radius of the beach house, but it also made him adore her even more.

Never let it be said that Kurt Hummel does not appreciate outlet shopping. His monthly bill to Rue La La alone will attest to that fact.

On top of that, not only had she invited Kurt to come, she demanded his attendance. “I need you, Kurt! I need someone with your refined, sophisticated eye for fashion to help me in this, my hour of need!” she’d declared with the dramatic flair befitting a literary scholar, grabbing him by the hand and wrenching him from his seat in Sebastian’s lap on the porch swing, not about to take no for an answer. At first, he suspected she chose him because her mother was otherwise occupied (which he discovered later on that she wasn’t), but it still flattered him that she went to him for help in this arena and didn’t opt for a personal shopper.

Going to a mall, doing something that could be defined by uncultured swine as banal, had been a welcome change. Not that Kurt didn’t absolutely love everything else they’d done so far - fighting the tides for their dinner, braving bee stings, nearly drowning in Sebastian’s Mustang …

… karaoke.

And the jellyfish. Oh sweet baby Jesus, he can’t forget the jellyfish!

This vacation started out like an episode of Survivor: North Carolina Edition, and even though it isn’t over, Kurt has nothing to worry about because he’s already won the grand prize. But walking into this plucky haven of discounted commerce, with it’s bright, white, artificial lighting and grainy, outdated music piped over the speakers feels like returning to the familiar. Breathing the recycled conditioned air relaxes every muscle like a full-body Shiatsu massage. It reminds him of weekends spent hanging out with his girls, grabbing a soft pretzel and complaining about the men in their lives, which was really a disguised form of good-natured one-upping:

“Finn will never understand the sanctity of my evening ice water face bath! He says it looks painful! He won’t even try it, the scaredy cat! Something about brain freeze and him being afraid of shrinking his skull. But his pores, Kurt! He’s got pores so big, you could live in them! And the sun damage from all that football? He’s such a … such a boy! I don’t know what I’m going to do with him some days! Anyway, did I show you the absolutely adorable music note pin he got me? It’s so perfect, I’m surprised you didn’t have something to do with it! You didn’t, did you? No, I didn’t think so. He said it was for the anniversary of our second kiss! How did he even remember?”

(How did Finn remember? Kurt had thought scornfully. Aside from the fact that Rachel circled the date on Finn’s calendar, then filled in the box with a note written in blood red Sharpie; inputted a message into his phone; and then reminded him every day of the week before; Kurt had no idea …)

“I completely understand what you mean,” Kurt had agreed with an appropriately commiserate eye roll. “I’ve finally managed to open Blaine’s eyes to the importance of jade rolling, but he’s so impatient! Married to the idea that an alpha hydroxy toner is some magical elixir that is going to solve all his problems for him.” Kurt tutted, nodding his head solemnly when Rachel gasped at the failings of his boyfriend. “But he did go out and buy me the cutest raw silk bow tie, out of the blue and for no reason whatsoever, so I guess I can’t be too angry with him for neglecting his dermatological responsibilities …”

The current man in Kurt’s life wouldn’t be in the running to win that competition, not with his constant bitching and complaining about the pain in his feet, the pounding in his head caused by the ‘lame ass music’, and his all-encompassing boredom.

But in this instance, listening to Sebastian gripe doesn’t dull Kurt’s shopping experience an inch.

On the contrary - it heightens it.

“I do.” Olivia grabs Kurt’s hand and bolts towards Talbots to outrun her brother’s sour attitude. “Now, hurry up! We’ve got seven more stores to hit!”

“Why bother?” Sebastian reaches for Kurt’s other hand, frowning when his fingers close around air. “I think you’ve bought every white outfit and peony-covered bed sheet in this place!”

“Hmph. You can never have too much white. And floral never goes out of style,” Olivia tosses over her shoulder, smirking when she notices her brother’s ineffectual attempt at retrieving his boyfriend.

“Great! You can use those sheets when you’re a wrinkled old biddy then.”

“That’s the plan,” Olivia replies with a grin of superiority nearly identical to her brothers. It’s uncanny, like they pass it around, only one of them allowed to use it at any given time.

“Should you even be wearing white at this wedding?” Sebastian retaliates. “I mean, isn’t white reserved for the virtuous?”

“Oh boy,” Brian mutters, taking a gargantuan step away to show how not associated with Sebastian he is at this moment.

Olivia and Kurt stop walking, spinning around in unison to glare down the approaching offender. Kurt wraps an arm around her, shielding her ears with his hands.

“That’s a low blow!” he scolds.

Sebastian shrugs, unfazed. “All I’m saying is that Olivia and Brian haven’t exactly been waiting on a block of ice for this day to arrive, have you guys?” He glances at Brian, who’s strategically hiding behind his fiancee’s fifteen shopping bags and a rotund, fiberglass planter. “Come on, man! Back me up!”

“Look, Sebastian, I love you like a brother,” Brian says, “but I’m not doin’ that. I know which side my bread is buttered.”

“Coward.” Sebastian turns his attention back to his sister and his boyfriend. He rolls his eyes condescendingly at their united front, their matching expressions of umbrage. “Sorry, not sorry,” he offers as his trivial non-apology.

“Oh, okay …” Olivia rolls up her sleeves, gearing up for a fight. “If that’s the way you want it, let’s talk some truth! If I was worried at all about a higher power sending lightning down to smote the impure at my perfect wedding, I wouldn’t have invited Julian or you! Between the two of you, you could set the entire venue on fire!”

Instead of being offended by that remark, Sebastian grins. “You’re not wrong. In fact …” Sebastian’s grin widens like he’s just conceived the most brilliant plan in the world “… I think it might be better if Kurt and I didn’t attend your stuffy old wedding.” He creeps closer to Kurt, prepared to take his sister to the ground to get his boyfriend’s hand back. “For the safety of your guests, of course.”

Olivia pivots, maneuvering a giggling Kurt out of her brother’s reach as swiftly as a chess master would castle a king. “I never said Kurt would set the place on fire.”

“And who says I wouldn’t go just because you weren’t going?” Kurt points out as he’s shuffled towards the safety of another store.

Olivia squeezes Kurt’s hand and beams, proud to have such a loyal companion in this fight.

“Employing that logic, I don’t see why my presence was necessary for this shopping excursion,” Sebastian argues, though it comes across more like he’s pouting. “You have Brian here to play valet. You guys could have gone by yourselves and had all the old lady fun you wanted. I would have given you my blessing.”

Kurt’s jaw drops straight to the collar of his borrowed button-down. “We told you where we were going! And I told you you’d be bored out of your mind! You begged us to come!”

“As a favor to you, babe.” Sebastian crosses his arms over his chest like a petulant toddler - a toddler with biceps the size of Kurt’s calves, on breathtaking display in the tight t-shirt he’s wearing. But Sebastian also looks so charmingly immature, Kurt can’t help breaking, smiling at him with heart eyes. This attitude shift - his playful moping and edge-free teasing - is one of the things Kurt loves about having Sebastian out here, surrounded by the loving bosom of his family. He’s softened, less sardonic, stopped trying to keep Kurt at arm’s length via the use of inappropriate jokes and jabs that skirt a line.

He’s gone from minor criminal mastermind, the scourge of Dalton Academy, and has become a goofy teenager.

Sebastian caps off his claim with, “Lord knows neither one of you has any sense of style,” and this time, it’s Olivia’s turn to cover Kurt’s ears. “Offense! Now you’ve gone too far!”

“Come, Olivia …” Kurt sniffles, squaring his back with a dignified roll of his shoulders, symbolically sloughing off Sebastian’s slights “… I refuse to stand here and be insulted by a boy wearing boat shoes.”

“Now, Kurt, don’t you listen to that mean, bitter … oh my God! Neiman Marcus is having a clearance sale! Come on!” She grabs Kurt’s hand and bolts toward the store, and God, is she strong! Kurt feels his feet fly out from under him as he rushes to keep up, Sebastian and Brian chuckling behind them. Kurt loses Sebastian in a sea of discount racks, each boasting bright red and yellow signs proclaiming 50% off! Final sale! 85% off re-racks! Kurt frowns at the signage, but then can’t help snickering at his own reaction to them. These signs are tackier than Kurt would expect for a Neiman Marcus store, outlet or otherwise, no doubt, but look at him being a sign snob when he can barely afford half the items on the rack at regular price?

Kurt finds his size (or his general range) and starts sifting through items one at a time, savoring the experience. He hears Olivia ooo and ahhh at a rack beside him, but his mind begins wandering to thoughts of the boy sauntering their way, helping Brian bear his load, laughing while his eyes search for Kurt.

And smiling like he’s never been happier.

For all of Sebastian’s incessant whining and rude remarks, Kurt can’t say he hasn’t fantasized about going on a no holds barred shopping excursion with him. He’s curious as hell how Sebastian would dress him. How Sebastian sees him. This button-down he’s wearing, top button undone and collar popped, is one of Sebastian’s - something Sebastian had tossed Kurt’s way after breakfast with only a, “Please?” as if his intentions were clear without further comment.

And they were.

But in a dedicated ensemble-selecting situation, what would his aesthetic be?

Kurt assumes there’d be a lot of denim and distressed tees involved, which might actually be quite fetching on him. It is on Sebastian, and the two of them are proportionately similar. With a chunky leather belt and his Doc Martens, he could see himself pulling that off. It’d be comfy, less restricting than the clothes he chooses for himself. And who knows? Sebastian might throw him a curve ball, surprise him by choosing an out-of-left-field accessory.

He’s exceptionally good at that.

The more Kurt thinks about it, the more he finds himself getting excited over the prospect of such a trip even though it’ll likely never happen.

But it could. Who knows?

It gives him something new to fantasize over.

Cooper had once accused Kurt of picking out Blaine’s clothes, and Blaine had defended him. Or himself, come to think of it. His personal style choices. But the truth is Blaine balked at a lot of Kurt’s attempts to dress him. He borrowed items from Kurt’s closet and vice versa, but letting Kurt style him? They didn’t do that all too often. The two of them had such signature styles, it felt like stepping on one another’s toes.

Might have been a good thing that Kurt didn’t, in retrospect. As with Rachel’s carousel horse sweaters, Blaine owns a cardigan or two that Kurt wouldn’t mind setting on fire.

And the temptation is strong.

But as for Sebastian’s style - Kurt suspects there’s a degree to which someone else buys his clothes for him. Like a personal shopper, or perhaps even his mom. He wears a lot of the same outside of his Dalton uniform - designer label clothes that suit his figure but don’t exactly scream personality. Kurt can see Sebastian approving the colors and having the final say, but in the end, he doesn’t do the work.

His t-shirts are a different story. Those he obviously picked out personally. They’re conversational, speak to more than his taste in clothing.

They’re a peek into his identity.

If Kurt had the chance to get his hands on Sebastian’s wardrobe, he’d dress him in pieces tailored more for his figure - dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up and one tail untucked hinting at his trim waist, layered over simple tanks of solid colors, and jeans slightly snugger than he usually wears.

Kurt swallows, his mouth stone dry at the silhouette that combination creates in his mind.

He startles out of his daydream when he realizes he’s stopped searching. Olivia’s voice has become a low hum in his ears, blending with the music and occasional store announcements; his hands gripping two separate hangers like an iron vice determined to break them in half. He peeks up to see an amused Sebastian staring at him, heading in their direction, but his view gets cut when Olivia thrusts a hanger in front of his face.

“Oh, Kurt! Look! It’s Tom Ford and it’s leopard! It would look so fierce on you!” Olivia takes a gander at the tag. “And it’s 75% off! A steal, Kurt! You have to get it!”

“Should I?” Kurt turns to the nearest mirror, mounted on a support pillar, and holds the long-sleeved shirt up to his chin. It is rather stunning. He doesn’t have to look at the price tag to know that it costs a pretty penny. 75% off of Tom Ford’s average retail price is quite the splurge for normal, non-economically blessed humans. What Olivia considers a steal would mean the sacrifice of an entire weekend at his dad’s shop. But, luckily, he has it to spend. And he’s worth it, especially after everything he’s been through.

“Absolutely! You’d be losing money not buying it at that price!”

“You know what? I think I will!” And as excited as he is at adding a new separate to his Tom Ford collection, Kurt feels a pit grow in his stomach when those words pass his lips. He feels guilty not bookmarking every single cent he has for NYADA, but seeing as he has this new plan to put into action, he breaks down and decides to buy the shirt, a pair of slacks, and a belt to tie the whole look together.

“You know, you should just go crazy,” Sebastian mentions. “It’s all good. I’ll pick up the tab.”

Kurt’s heart speeds at the offer, an orgasmic Yes! pinging through his brain, but he shakes his head. “That’s very generous, but even on sale, the prices in this place are insane! I don’t want you spending that kind of money on me.”

“Why not? I have it to spend. What’s a couple thousand between boyfriends?” Sebastian says, playfully bumping Kurt’s hip with his own. “Besides, I like the idea of spoiling you.” He leans close to Kurt’s ear and whispers, “If you want, I can take it out of what I owe you. Or in exchange for sex. Whatever floats your boat.”

Those words, in contrast to the heat of Sebastian’s breath, make Kurt’s skin go cold. It’s a joke. Sebastian is teasing. And Kurt should be happy that he feels free to tease him about this. Things are slowly coming out in the open, people are finding out about their ruse, and they don’t care, because in the end, the two of them fell in love. They’re happy.

And no one died.

Jokes about money, or their relationship, may not mean anything to Sebastian, not since the end justified the means. So they shouldn’t mean anything to Kurt.

So why do they?

Bzzz-bzzz. Bzzz-bzzz.

Kurt’s phone vibrating in his pocket is rare enough for this trip that it makes him jump a full foot in the air. Truthfully, he forgot he brought it with him. He’d deemed it unnecessary for most outings, only holding on to it in case of an emergency. He sticks the leopard shirt under his arm and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He unlocks his screen and sees an incoming message from his father. He taps on it to open it, but it refuses, bouncing back to the main screen after a few seconds of stalling.

“What is it, babe?” Sebastian asks after Kurt stabs at his screen for the fifth time with no luck.

“It’s a text from my dad, but I can’t open it,” Kurt replies. “He sent a picture attachment, but it keeps freezing up.”

“Maybe it’s too big.” Sebastian puts his share of Olivia’s shopping bags down and rests his hands on Kurt’s shoulders, gently kneading away the tension this is causing him. “Lord knows I understand that problem.”

“Ha ha,” Kurt deadpans, assaulting the screen more vigorously like he’s interrogating it for information.

Which he kind of is.

“Speaking of, can I see those pictures?” Olivia asks.

Sebastian shoots his sister a disturbed look. “You want to see pictures of my junk?”

“Does Kurt have pictures of your junk on his phone? Because if he does, I think we’ve identified the problem.”

“And what’s that?”

Olivia stares at her brother with such intense seriousness, Kurt thinks she may not be kidding when she says, “His phone obviously has a virus.”

Brian guffaws unexpectedly and turns away.

“Funny,” Sebastian deadpans back.

“I want to see the pictures from that hot air balloon ride you guys took!” Olivia clarifies, blessedly halting the conversation in its tracks.

“Oh. Yeah,” Kurt says, distracted by this issue with his phone. “Let me just …”

“Did you forget how to use it?” Sebastian asks, only half kidding. “I mean, you haven’t really been using your phone since we got here.”

“It’s not that,” Kurt says, not surprised anymore by how easy it is to bypass Sebastian’s humor and see the real message inside. Kurt is struggling to open a text - a text from his father. Sebastian knows that’s going to cause Kurt anxiety. “This has happened to me a few times before. Shoot! Now it won’t let me access my photo gallery!”

“I should really upgrade your phone,” Sebastian says, like it’s his responsibility to handle this problem, as if he has the authority to make that decision.

“My phone’s fine, Bas,” Kurt grumbles, more annoyed at his phone than he is at his boyfriend.

“Kurt, this is serious! I don’t want your wack ass service to go out when I need to get a hold of you. What if we’re sexting and your phone locks my messages, too?”

“I don’t think it’s the service. I have full bars. I can get on the Internet just fine. It’s my internal storage … mmph!” Kurt gives up on his gallery, accessing Facebook for the photos instead. “It’s the phone! I think it’s finally aged out.”

“Ergo why I should upgrade it.”

“Grr!” Kurt doesn’t bother glaring at Sebastian since he accepts the fact that he made his point for him. Yes, it would be nice to have a new phone. This one’s been giving him grief for a while. But it still works, and it’s decent. Why toss something away because it’s temperamental and frustrating? If that’s the case, he should break up with Sebastian. He laughs out loud when that conclusion pops into his head, but he doesn’t mention why, regardless of the strange looks he’s getting.

“It’s okay,” Sebastian mouths to a perplexed Olivia while pretending to patronizingly pat Kurt’s hair. “He does that sometimes.”

“Okay, okay!” Kurt cheers as his Facebook page pops on the screen. “I’ve got it! Here’s the one at holy shit!”

“Holy shit?” Olivia repeats.

“I don’t remember us going there.” Sebastian crowds with Olivia and Brian around Kurt, all staring at his phone. The first photo that comes up is the exact photo Kurt wanted - the two of them kissing in the basket of that hot air balloon with the caption he wrote, Love Defies Gravity, overhead. But that’s not the issue. The issue is:

“Seen by … 1,452 people!?”

Even Sebastian gasps when Kurt reads it.

“That’s … a lot of people,” Brian says, a less astute observation than Kurt would expect from a lawyer.

“It is. I---I didn’t even know this many people were checking their Facebook pages over the summer. Everyone seemed so busy …” Kurt pauses, swallows heavy, one that fills all the negative space in his throat, then crawls through his chest when it gets that far - his lungs, the spaces between his ribs, his heart. There it stays, obstructing his breathing, rooting him to the spot with its oppressive weight. Because it’s not just the length of the seen by list that makes Kurt’s eyes swell (and yes, it appears that almost everyone he’s ever met, known, given his Facebook information to has seen this picture), but the comments they left. Only the first four are displayed, but when he clicks the View more comments hyperlink, they shoot down his screen, disappearing out of sight.

Kurt scans the list of names quickly, noting that pretty much every member of the New Directions has not only seen the pictures but has had something to say – something positive, and that makes Kurt giddy with relief. Not that their disapproval would have had any influence over whether Kurt stays with Sebastian or not. He doesn’t need a single one of his friends to approve as long as they understand that this is what he wants. But it’s nice to know that his friends are happy for him, even Rachel, who has left him a string of heart emojis, one or two of them broken, and the almost impossible to believe comment – I’m so sorry. About everything. Call me soon. I want to talk about this.

Kurt stops reading names after he sees Santana’s remark - Plot twist of the century! Way to get it, pretty pony! FYI - I’m still down to cut a bitch if he goes back to being a puto!

“Hey!” Sebastian says, pointing her comment out.

“What?” Kurt gives him a one shoulder shrug. “It’s her way of saying she approves. Besides, it’s good to know.” Kurt smiles to himself when he hears Olivia backhand her brother and he yelps, “Careful, will ya!? Your engagement ring’s sharp!”

Kurt gets so caught up in his happiness, he doesn’t see one name in particular at the way bottom of the list. The name of someone who had said they’d sworn off Facebook for the summer, but who’d been checking it on the sly whenever they got the chance.

One of the first people to flip through all the photographs on Kurt’s page, even though they didn’t leave a comment.

They couldn’t bring themselves to, not on any of the photographs Kurt has uploaded while he’s been at the beach house – the ones he took of the ocean view from Sebastian’s room, the selfie he took with Sebastian on the porch swing, the one he took of Sebastian asleep in bed.

Especially the one of Sebastian asleep in bed.

Blaine Anderson.

***

Several times on the car ride home, Kurt attempts to download his father’s message. He waits while the loading icon circles round and round and round, but all he gets back is the error message File not available for download.

“Shoot! But why aren’t you available for download?”

The phone doesn’t answer, but Sebastian does.

“Because I’m a shit phone, Kurt,” he says in a cartoonish falsetto. “Let your sexy boyfriend upgrade me.”

Kurt side-eyes Sebastian. “Is that code?”

Sebastian bounces his eyebrows. “Do you want it to be? There is such a thing as a gadget kink, isn’t there?”

“You would know,” Kurt mutters. “You do realize that even if you upgrade my phone today to one that is faster, more reliable, has a longer battery life, and …”

Sebastian glances from the road to Kurt stuck in the midst of that sentence with his mouth half-open “… and …?”

“I don’t know. I kind of lost myself in my own argument.” Kurt’s face goes blank, marooned on the question of exactly why it is he’s turning down the offer of a new phone. He’s never been a phone snob. He’s the one constantly defending the fact that yes, he owns an older iPhone, but if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

Except now that argument is invalid.

A newer generation iPhone would be nice, but again, it’s too much money. He loves Sebastian, but he doesn’t need him paying for everything.

At what point would spoiling be considered mooching in Sebastian’s eyes, even if Kurt starts out by vehemently objecting?

Kurt shakes his head, demolishing the image of himself wielding the latest in Apple technology when he remembers the point he was attempting to make. “That’s right. Even if you upgraded my phone today, I still might not be able to open this message. If I can’t download it, it might not transfer over.”

“Why don’t you give him a call?”

“I’ve tried! It’s not just my texting that’s on the fritz, I can’t do anything! The infuriating thing is I haven’t gotten any significant messages from anyone the whole time I’ve been here! The one day my dad has something so important to tell me he includes a picture, it pulls this crap, deciding that, after a long and loyal relationship, today is the day it’s going to screw the pooch!” At least it waited longer than Blaine, Kurt thinks sourly. Was more reliable in the end, too.

“Maybe the problem is your service and we’ve entered a dead zone,” Sebastian says sympathetically, as if a similar criticism about Blaine may have crossed his mind. “You’ve had no problems using your phone at the house, right?”

“Right.”

“Then I say wait till you get to the house and give it another shot.”

“You’re … you’re probably right.”

“Hey …” Sebastian reaches across the center console for Kurt’s hand. Kurt takes it without looking, without needing to look “… if you’re that worried about him, use the landline. Put your mind at ease.”

“Yeah.” Kurt pockets his phone, his mind whirling through the spectrum of possibilities, trying to hit blindly on which one is more plausible. It doesn’t help too much since not a single one of them is any better than the rest. “I might just do that.”

***

To Kurt:

Call me as soon as you can. We need to talk ASAP.

Sitting alone on the edge of Sebastian’s bed, staring at his phone screen, those words are as far as Kurt gets before his phone goes loopy again, but the chills that spiral up and down his spine show no sign of stopping.

Now that he has that much of the message open, his Facebook app starts flipping out. He’d been reading the threads underneath his photos, but the longer he scrolls, the app errors out and shuts down, forcing him to log in all over again. He has two-factor authentification set on all his apps, which means waiting for an authorization text before he can do anything. He’s had to change his password twice so far. He prays he won’t have to do it again.

There are just so many variations of TheGoddessPattiLuPone he can come up with.

He’ll have to move on to TheGoddessBetteMidler soon.

In between shut downs, he catches snippets of conversations that solve a couple of mysteries for him. Like how Sebastian managed to see his old Cheerios videos. A helpful Brittany was apparently instrumental behind that one, bringing them up on her phone from the official Cheerios archive (accessible only by past and present members of the Cheerios) when Sebastian mentioned he was interested in starting a squad at Dalton and would she mind giving him a few pointers seeing as she was one of McKinley’s star cheerleaders and all.

Kurt sighs over the fact that she fell for that one but he can’t hold it against her. She’s a sweetheart that way, rarely thinks badly of anyone for too long. Even with everything Sebastian has done to sabotage the New Directions, it would be water under the bridge as long as he was nice to her. Maybe gave her a gummy bear or two.

Kurt’s coffee order - a splash of cream and a half spoon of sugar - Kurt deduces in a round about way came from Mercedes one day when they went to visit Dalton to pick up some transcripts and he took her to the commons for coffee. He remembers her commenting in a voice that could never competently whisper, “A drop of cream and a half spoon of sugar? Oh honey. What’s wrong now?”

It was only once. Kurt had forgotten Sebastian was even there. He had started to dish when he caught sight of Sebastian out the corner of his eye. He immediately took Mercedes by the arm and led her away out of earshot of ‘the criminal chipmunk’.

If Kurt doubted that Sebastian actually did spend a great deal of his time gathering blackmail fodder on people the way he claimed, his mind has definitely changed, though he’s not exactly sure how knowing Kurt’s secret coffee order would help Sebastian bend him to his will.

On the flip side, Kurt is interested to find out what else he knows, and about whom.

The phone shuts down and restarts. As soon as it springs to life, it rings, the volume turned up so loud, it shocks him, causing him to fling his phone a foot in the air. Luckily he catches it before it hits the floor. He can’t afford for this thing to break more than it has. He looks at the screen, expecting (but not necessarily hoping, and that makes him feel like a heel) his dad’s number. But it’s not.

It’s Rachel’s.

Kurt groans. He’s not sure he wants to talk to her yet. Because it won’t be talked to, but talked at, a dozen questions flying at him in a single breath which he won’t be given a chance to mull over adequately before he’s expected to answer. And even though he recognizes that he doesn’t owe Rachel anything - any explanations and definitely no apologies - she may ask questions he doesn’t have satisfactory answers for. Not according to her.

Oh God! He doesn’t need this now! Doesn’t need this stress, doesn’t need to be pressured, especially when he has a mysterious message from his father to reckon with. He argues over it to a phantom Rachel in his head, outlining his reasons in a numbered list as to why he doesn’t need her interrupting his calm, harshing the one luxury he’s allowed himself the entire summer, and how there’s not a single thing she can say that will guilt him into feeling anything other than over-the-top, insanely happy.

He gets so wrapped up in winning this non-existent argument, lining up the zingers he’s been stockpiling for just such an occasion, it takes him a few seconds to notice that his phone has stopped ringing.

He stares at the red disconnected call icon on the screen, a choked off, “Oh no,” slipping past his lips.

Kurt took too long.

This could be bad.

But on the bright side, it’s not bad right this second. It seems fate answered his question for him. At least now he has a chance to take a breath before he has to consider---

The phone rings again.

Kurt sees Rachel’s name re-appear on the screen and mutters, “Good God.”

Rachel has nothing going on this summer, so she has plenty of time to keep dogging him till he answers. He knows that for a fact.

He could turn off his phone, put it in a plastic bag, shove that plastic bag in a pillowcase, and then put that pillowcase in his luggage, but he’s still trying to get to the bottom of the text from his dad.

He has no choice.

Best to get this over with, he decides, before she sweet talks Finn into finding out where he is and makes him drive her to North Carolina to talk to him personally. Even if they can’t narrow down the exact location of the beach house, she’d make him drive around while she called out his name through a bull horn to hunt him down.

Erring on the side of caution, Kurt begrudgingly picks up. Rachel’s voice comes through before the phone even makes it to his ear.

“Kurt?”

“Rach?”

“Oh thank God!” she says with an exaggerated sigh, as if Kurt has been missing for months. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day!”

Kurt glances at his screen, the call history for her number outlined in small white numbers denoting this as the fifteenth call from her in the past hour. “I can see that.”

Then comes silence.

Silence because she expects him to lay everything out for her without her having to ask.

And, at the moment, after everything she said about Sebastian being a temporary person (even though, to be fair, Kurt had given her no concrete reason to think otherwise) he’s bitter enough not to.

She breathes in as if she’s about to start a sentence.

He breathes in, prepared to cut in and say, “I know what you’re going to say, Rachel,” though he doesn’t.

So he waits.

She clears her throat, and in a compassionate voice, she asks, “Wha---what happened?”

“Uh …” If that isn’t the loaded question of the decade, Kurt thinks. “It’s like this … he … Sebastian, that is … no - maybe I should start with Blaine … but first, there was this …” Kurt sighs. There is no good place to begin. “You know, it’s a lot to talk about and, to be honest, I’d rather not do it over the phone.”

“Fair enough,” she says, and Kurt can almost hear her nodding. She breathes in again but pauses, holding this one breath for a long time before letting it out in a rush. “You and Blaine aren’t getting back together … are you?”

She sounds so sad.

She sounds the way Puck’s hug felt after he and Blaine told their friends about their decision to break up.

She sounds like something important has been ripped away from her, because Kurt and Blaine’s plans for New York were, in small part, Rachel and Finn’s plans, too. As much as he’d daydreamed about living the poor college student life with Blaine, their Bohemia Academia in a run down apartment they’d make quaint and homey with a combination of stuff from home and accumulated kitsch, Rachel had imagined living somewhere nearby with Finn so they could drop in unannounced for impromptu trips to the farmer’s market; hang out on the fire escape during hot summer nights, sipping sweet vermouth and talking about the cattle calls they’d been to, the parts they hoped they’d get, commenting on no small parts, only small actors, which would turn into a dig at Blaine’s and Rachel’s heights respectively, and probably devolve into a pillow fight..

There was a future wrapped up in Kurt and Blaine’s plans that wasn’t entirely theirs and now that life is being mourned.

“No,” Kurt says, pulling off that bandage before it sits too long, hurts too much. It’s not the declaration that hurts. It’s the anticipation of what that answer might bring. He closes his eyes, jaw going rigid, hands clenching, bracing for the impact. “Never.”

Another in a long series of silences hovers between them. Not a tense one, but not a comfortable one. But then Rachel says the one word Kurt never expected to hear in response to that revelation.

“Good.”

Kurt’s eyes pop open, and inside his chest, his heart stops. “Come again?” he asks when he should be relieved he’s getting away relatively unscathed.

“He shouldn’t have broken up with you, Kurt! He was wrong! Everything he said at that party was wrong!”

“What about what you said at the party?” Kurt asks sarcastically. He can only keep so much of his anger over that contained. Of course what she said was annoying - typical Rachel Berry rhetoric. But he also felt betrayed by the person whose alliance was the most difficult of his life to obtain. He’d thought that made it the sincerest. “About how we were being very mature about the whole thing, and it was good that we were taking some time to reevaluate our choices as we stepped into the future as adults?”

“I was wrong,” she admits tearfully. And not Rachel Berry’s overacted I feel sad when you’re sad tears. These are the genuine article. “I wanted to support you. I wanted to support what I thought was your joint decision. But thinking back on it, re-evaluating what Blaine said, how you reacted to it …” She sniffles, blows her nose away from the phone, and all of the seething bitterness that has been building up in Kurt’s heart over her melts “… then seeing those pictures of you and Sebastian together, and after having a long talk with Finn, I realized that what Blaine did to you is wrong. On so many levels. You did nothing to deserve it. Nothing. And if Sebastian treats you right, if he treats you the way Blaine should have treated you, the way you deserve to be treated then …” She pauses for a deep breath, returning to form, coming to the crux of her argument “… you have my blessing.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at the insinuation that he needs any blessing from her, but he smiles fondly, so hard that his cheeks hurt. It’s a curse that none of them can seem to stay angry at Rachel for long. Even Mercedes, who had more right than any of them to hate Rachel’s guts after that rigmarole with West Side Story came around about a month later. “Thank you, Rachel. That’s very kind of you to say.”

“You’re very welcome,” she says, her voice slightly broken as she gathers herself together. “Well (*sniff*) now that you guys are official (and Kurt can see the air quotes on that one), may I ask you a very important question? And please answer honestly. This is for science.”

Oh boy. Here it comes, Kurt thinks. “Sure, Rachel. What would you like to know?”

“He’s a good kisser, right? Tell me I’m right! A boy with as much experience as he has should have gold medal technique!”

“Yes, Rachel,” Kurt says, laughing when he hears her snort. “A-plus. The absolute best!”

***

“Fuck …”

Sitting on the porch swing, stiff and expressionless as an Easter Island statue, Kurt stares at his phone screen, unable to blink even with the salty sea air stinging his eyes, sucking the moisture from them. His lips try to move instead so he can mutter to himself, sort things through with a private debate, but all he can manage is another expletive.

“Fuck …”

To Kurt:

Call me as soon as you can. We need to talk ASAP.

Along with that ominous message, his father sent a picture of an envelope, the return address NYADA, specifically the financial aid department. Across the bottom of the envelope where Kurt has gotten used to seeing the words AMOUNT DUE are stamped the words FINAL NOTICE.

Kurt swallows hard.

He’d tried calling his father when they reached the beach house on both his dad’s cell phone and the house phone, but they just rang and rang. They didn’t even go to voicemail. Considering the time, he was either running errands or in a meeting, Kurt didn’t know for sure, which didn’t calm his anxiety any. Because those errands could be to the doctor’s office, or with his cardiologist.

Spur-of-the-moment meetings, since Kurt didn’t know about them, indicating something important had cropped up while he was away.

He’d considered calling the Lima Police and requesting they stop by and do a wellness check, but that felt like an overreaction, so he decided to try one last hard reboot of his phone. The screen went black for what seemed like an hour but was probably more like fifteen seconds. After keeping him waiting, sweating it out, the operating system had the nerve to update. Close to five minutes later, the screen went white. His icons shuffled, then everything snapped back to normal. Then, without him touching it, the boxes he’d been trying to access for most of the afternoon opened, including the message from his father and its accompanying picture.

He didn’t have to look at it too long to know what it was. It slapped him in the face the second it filled the screen.

He wishes the file hadn’t opened so smoothly, that he could have eased into accessing it. Because now, underneath this beautiful star-filled sky, a stone’s thrown away from a magnificent beach, he’s about to be sick.

No, he thinks. Not now. Not when I’m here, in this sanctuary, where nothing bad can touch me, still trying to make sense of my feelings. Not when I don’t have a clue how to fix this, where to even start.

But maybe that’s the rub. Maybe he was never meant to figure this problem out. Maybe his acceptance to NYADA was something he was meant to lose, like Blaine, another part of his life he arrogantly thought was a sure thing, something he didn’t bother worrying about once he’d gotten it, slipping through his fingers.

“Hey! You figured your phone out!”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, quickly closing the text. “I just … turned it off and turned it back on again. Worked like a charm.”

Sebastian looks his boyfriend over, but particularly his smile - two-dimensional, not doing its usual job of lighting his eyes - and starts to worry. “What did your dad have to say? Nothing bad, right? He’s not … he’s not sick or anything?”

“No. No, he’s fine. He just got home, I guess.” Kurt tries to stuff the phone in his pocket, but his numb fingers have a problem working.

“You know” – Sebastian sits beside Kurt, his eyes lingering on the phone Kurt tucks out of sight – “I never did ask you what you needed $10,000 for. I mean, did you pick that number out of the air at random? Or was that what you thought dating me was worth, because, if that’s the case, then frankly I think you sold one of us short.”

Kurt nods tersely but doesn’t answer. He can’t. He’s paralyzed. Now is definitely the time to own up to something, but what? To his old plan of needing the money to go to NYADA? Or this new plan of moving wherever Sebastian is going that he’s become attached to? He knows he’ll tell Sebastian both, but which one takes precedence? If emotion weren’t entering in to it at all, if he wasn’t still confused about this relationship with Sebastian, then the answer would be NYADA, definitely. And even as that new plan, glimmering in his head, tickles his lips to make its way out, he knows the answer is NYADA no matter what, above all.

Sebastian puts an arm around Kurt’s shoulder and pulls him against him as he reclines. He pushes off the porch with his feet and starts the swing rocking its soothing rhythm.

“Originally I thought it was so you could buy yourself a new wardrobe,” Sebastian continues, trying to get Kurt relaxed enough to spill, “and I have to say, I was all for that. Hell, I was going to up it to $50,000 and take you shopping myself. Make sure you got your money’s worth.” Sebastian waits for a comeback, a snide remark, anything. But when Kurt remains quiet, Sebastian kisses his head. “Talk to me, babe. Tell me what’s going on.”

Kurt sighs. He can’t put this off any longer. Putting it off, coming up with some excuse not to talk about it, would feel like lying, and he doesn’t want to lie to Sebastian.

“It’s for … it was for college. NYADA.” God, he isn’t prepared to admit this. Not yet. Even after the time he’s given himself, he’d never wanted to admit to any of this out loud. That was worse than not having the money, so he’d been doing everything in his power not to. “I had gotten some scholarships and some financial aid, but I was approved before my father was elected to Congress.” Kurt hears Sebastian sigh. He knows he can fill in the rest, but Kurt feels like he has to keep going. “It never dawned on me to call and update them, but they found out on their own anyway. They readjusted my aid and, in the end, I came up short. Without that money, I … I can’t go to college.”

Sebastian sighs again, but instead of sounding frustrated, this sigh sounds hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it doesn’t matter, Sebastian. I can’t take that money now. Not after …”

“Stop, Kurt.” Sebastian reaches into his back pocket. “Just … just stop.” He pulls out his wallet, takes out a piece of paper, folded once, and hands it to Kurt. At first, Kurt has no idea what it could be, though he has a nagging suspicion. But that suspicion can’t be correct! It would be ludicrous if it were!

But since ludicrous seems like par for the course this summer, it’s exactly what Kurt thinks it is – a cashier’s check for $10,000, made out to Kurt Hummel, dated the day Kurt agreed to their fake boyfriend arrangement. And even though Kurt is teetering on the brink of incredulity, he has to smirk at the comment Sebastian had the bank print in the memo line – For services rendered. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.

“You’ve … you’ve been carrying this around with you this whole time?”

“Well, yeah.” Sebastian shrugs. “Regardless of what you see on TV, you can’t just write a personal check for ten grand. And I had every intention of keeping up my end of the bargain. I got it drawn up early in case we didn’t fool anyone and my folks cleaned out my bank account. A personal check would have been worthless then, so …” Sebastian makes a go ahead and take it gesture, encouraging Kurt to put it away for safe keeping. But Kurt shakes his head.

“Thank you, but … but I … I can’t,” Kurt says, those words killing him, driving nails into his heart and twisting as he stares at this check, made out for more than he needs, his name in the pay to the order of line. It’s the answer to all his prayers, but for the sake of his conscience, he has to turn it down. Goddamned conscience! Fuck you! “That’s very generous of you, but …”

“We had a deal, Kurt,” Sebastian interrupts. “You more than held up your end. In fact, I would say you went above and beyond considering.”

Kurt nods. Objectively, he has to agree, but the way Sebastian chose to phrase it makes him feel sick. Plus, and he doesn’t know why, he feels offended. He doesn’t know what he expected Sebastian to say about the matter. He’d prepared himself for Sebastian to give him the money. He’d prepared to refuse and for the two of them to fight over it. But instead of indignant, he feels insulted.

“Then … then what does that make us? What does that make this? Everything we’ve done so far?”

“It makes it what it is, Kurt,” Sebastian says, throwing an arm in the air. “I love you, and you love me. And this …” He gestures to the check in Kurt’s hands like it’s an annoying fly he’s shooing away “… this is ancient history. Tying up loose ends.” Kurt starts shaking his head. It’s a reflex to object. This doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that boyfriends did for one another. Teenage boyfriends at that! It’s too much!

Sebastian, facing down his obstinate boyfriend, groans. “Kurt! Are you really going to throw your dreams away, your entire future, for something as stupid as money?”

“Well, you can call money stupid,” Kurt argues, his hand holding the check shaking. “You have it, alright? But when you don’t have it, it’s not stupid! It’s actually kind of important!”

“You’re right,” Sebastian agrees. “You’re absolutely right. It is important. It’s important, and you need it. You need it to go to college. So why the fuck aren’t you taking it, Kurt? I’m fortunate. I happen to have more money than I can use, sitting around, doing nothing. So let me give you some …” Kurt scoffs, rolls his head away. Sebastian amends his statement. “Or lend you some - however you want to do this. Remember when I said that money doesn’t matter to me beyond enjoying all the things my wealth can buy me? Well, I would really enjoy the opportunity to do this for you.”

Kurt doesn’t know what to say, so he stays quiet, hoping the right words will simply come to him. When they don’t, Sebastian takes that as Kurt trying to come up with a better argument against this, and he huffs out a frustrated breath.

“Look, if you don’t take it, I’m just going to send it to fucking NYADA with your name plastered all over it, so you might as well stop being so fucking stubborn and do it your damn self! If you and I hadn’t gotten together for real, if we hadn’t fallen in love, you’d be taking this check, conscience clear, and on your way to New York. But we lucked out, Kurt. We got something better out of this in the end. Being able to call you mine is worth the world to me. But if it causes you to give up your dream, then it’s a bad thing. I don’t want what we have to be a bad thing. I want it to be a good thing. I want it to grow and last, and that will only happen if you live out your life. If you follow your dream.”

Sebastian takes the check from Kurt’s fingers. He folds it and slides it in Kurt’s pocket. Kurt doesn’t move to object. He can’t. What Sebastian says makes sense to him logically. It’s his pride that has a problem with it. This isn’t the end. Sebastian isn’t Blaine. He isn’t going to let Kurt go just because they’re going to schools in separate states. Kurt is finally seeing an ending to this where he gets to have it all – the school of his dreams, the future he planned, and the boy he never planned on. This would be a loan, he promises himself. He’ll pay back every single cent, even if it takes him a lifetime.

“You’re going to NYADA, Kurt,” Sebastian says, kissing Kurt on the forehead between words, “one way or another. And there’s not a force anywhere on earth that’s going to keep me from making sure you get there.”

#ACITW #ACITW AU #Kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt

38 notes · View notes

solohux · 4 years

Note

(1/?) a fluffier take on pet Hux: after Crait Kylo's plan to keep Hux close in case of sudden and inevitable betrayal consists of combining their quarters and keeping a watchful eye on Hux, which means sleeping in the same bed, as one does with their greatest enemy. Kylo really starts to take to the little things about his foxxy general, especially his fluffy tail wagging in excitement when his plans go right, cute little whines when Kylo scratches his favorite spot, and purring when he wiggles

(2/?) closer to Kylo’s warm body in his sleep. Hux becomes Kylo’s beloved pet in the secrecy of their quarters and is pampered constantly, showered in love, and petted/cuddled to his heart’s content. Kylo loves his little fox and shows it at every private opportunity he gets. Maybe Hux even wears his collar under his uniform while on shift. It probably makes him feel safe.

(3/3) when the Resistance catches Hux, he conveniently happens to be wearing the collar. They leash him and let their soldiers fuck him and call him all sorts of derogatory things. They broadcast it to the Finalizer, telling Kylo he has to come personally to make arrangements in exchange for his precious pet. It breaks Kylo’s heart when he sees Hux staring into the camera, trying to hold back tears, knowing Kylo would never hurt him like this and remembering how he was always so gentle.

Ahhh! Kylo hadn’t realised just how enamouring Fox Hux’s little mannerisms are, like the way his tail wags etc. Hux has never had someone who appreciates him like Kylo does, petting him and cuddling him and even giving him gorgeous little scritches behind his ears. It’s been years since he’s allowed himself to get close to anyone but Kylo is so loving, so gentle. He even apologises for lashing out during the incident in the throne room & on Crait. Hux accepts it and they move on, becoming Supreme Leader & his darling pet fox, the most pampered General that the galaxy has ever seen. Things are good.

But then the Resistance capture Hux and everything turns to hell. Kylo is doing everything in his power to find Hux and destroy whoever it is that is holding his beloved pet captive. And then the broadcast comes through, a grainy video feed of Hux pinned to the ground by two men, one who holds a long metal chain that’s attached to the collar that Kylo gifted to him. A third man ruts into Hux so hard that the little fox yelps with each thrust but he’s trying so hard not to make a sound.

They call him names; whore, cockwarmer, runt. They tell him to look right into the camera and say hello to Supreme Leader Ren but Hux doesn’t say anything, just stares right into the camera and prays that his owner will come to his resuce. Kylo’s best hackers get the location of where the feed is being broadcast from and Kylo leaves with his armies immediately.

When he gets to the hideout--an old outpost--he goes berserk. He runs people through with his lightsaber, he crushes windpipes with the Force, he stomps on the fallen bodies as he searches for Hux. His troops don’t leave anyone alive. When he finds Hux, the poor fox is curled up into a ball in the corner of his cell, leashed to the wall so the collar is taut around his neck, almost strangling him. He’s gagged, bruised and they’ve even shaved a part of his tail bare. Kylo’s heart breaks again.

He carefully coaxes Hux out of unconsciousness and wraps him up in his cape, holding him close to his chest and rocking him, kissing his head and telling him that he’s so sorry for this. Hux doesn’t say anything, he just whimpers quietly as he’s lifted into Kylo’s strong arms, his fox ears flat atop his head as though resting in contentment, finally. He’s safe again, and Kylo won’t ever let anything happen to his beloved pet ever again. It’s a whole night of pampering, feeding and cuddling ahead, of Kylo making sure that Hux knows that he’s safe and that he’s loved.

#kylux #fox hux #pet hux #tw noncon #tw rape

42 notes · View notes

itsanerdlife · 5 years

Text

Smoke 4/16

Pairing: Ronin!Clint Batron x Black Cat!Reader

Warning: Violence. Torture mentioned. Death mentioned. Nightmares. Lies. Seducing. Sexual humor. Broken and damaged pasts. Killing. Possessive Male. Struggling to open up. Secrets. Dark past.

A/N: ENDGAME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, DON’T READ THIS!!!

After the snap, the avengers split apart. Finding their own ways to cope. Clint found his under a new identity, Ronin. Getting revenge for those they lost. For the family taken from them. The evil left when heroes were wiped out, it became his mission to take out the evil. All while keeping a list of those who could help, if needed one day. Clint stumbles upon a woman, Cat. She’s a mystery in the dark. One happen stance meet, one night, gone like smoke.

After the second snap, setting the world right again. Fury is looking at those kept tabs on. When Cat appears on the screen, nobody know a lot about the mysterious woman who haunted Clint’s dreams and stole his favorite T-shirt. There’s a chance she’s in trouble, can Clint find her, convince her there is more, that he can save her? But is he the cause of what’s after her? Just what mystery is she keeping all to herself? Or is he the one she’s trying to save?

Clint

He tosses the discarded T-shirt at her. She catches it, pulling it over her frame. Shaking out her hair, letting it fall down her back. He yanks his own shirt down, running a hand through his own messed hair.

“Come with me.” He grabs a shoe off the floor, sitting down in one of the mismatched chairs. Cat looks over smirking at him, as she wiggles into her jeans. “To the compound.” He shakes his head, tying his shoe.

“Look,” she sighs.

“You agreed.” He cuts her off, finishing tying his other shoe. He stands, pulling her into him, by her hips. “Said you’d hear us out.” He reminds her, kissing her softly.

“Do you always jump to assumptions or am I just special?” She smirks at him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He chuckles, letting her go, she snatches up a boot, pulling it on.

“I’m not taking back my word. I just, need to finish a job, first.” She sighs, yanking on her last boot. “After that I’ll give you my full attention.” She runs a hand through her hair, before she gathers it up, twisting it into a messy bun and securing it with a hair tie, in just a few motions.

“Not another jewel heist, right?” He smirks at her.

“No and don’t judge me.” She moves around, the small apartment. “I saw that judgy look.” She points a finger at him, before she grabs a black hoodie.

“Do you need help?” He sighs, offering the least he could.

“I’m fine.” She grins at him when she is finished pulling on the hoodie. “I’ve been doing this a long time without you, you know.” She reminds him.

“Cat.” He sighs. She pauses watching him. “I need to ask you something.” He swallows.

“Don’t worry, babe. I wouldn’t, not you or your family.” She assures him as she finds the little eye mask she’d been looking for. “This is a company testing on, animals.” She waves him off.

“Be careful.” He nods.

“I’ll come to you when I can.” She promises.

“You have two days, Cat.” He warns her. “I’ll find you if you don’t.” He watches her. A smirk pulls up the corners of her mouth.

“So hot,” she purrs, coming over to kiss him quickly “but I have to go.” She backs away towards the door. “I’ve only got two days to finish this job.” She smirks, slipping on the eye mask.

“Two days, I’m serious.” His stomach twisted.

She pulls the hood up, before slipping on her leather jacket, she pulls the door open. Winking at him before she disappears with a click of the door shutting. He sighs, scrapping a hand down his face. She might as well have scratched her name into his chest, he was hooked on her and he wasn’t risking her slipping away once more.

------

Clint

“Barton? Earth to Barton.” Sam waves his hand in front of Clint’s face.

“What?” He blinks looking around.

“Where did you go?” Nat smirks at him.

“It’s day two.” He admits, picking up his coffee mug.

“Ahhh.” Peter nods slowly.

Something slick and black, darts across the kitchen. It moves with precision, before it meows suddenly.

“Um. there’s a cat in the compound.” Tony looks shocked. The black cat, twists itself between Clint’s ankles, nudging him, before it meows again.

“Kitty.” Morgan slips from the table, heading for the cat.

“Ah littles, let’s not.” Peter catches his sister, holding her up from the floor. But the cat has no interest in anyone else. It’s nudging Clint over and over, followed with a meow.

“Why is it meowing at you Barton?” Steve looks down confused.

“I have no idea.” Clint shrugs, watching the cat. It looks up, locking eyes with him, it meows loudly.

“Um. Clint?” Pepper hurries into the kitchen, everyone looks up. Pepper looks over, Cat steps into the kitchen.

“Cat?!” Peter and Clint startle at the same time.

“Whoa.” The others whisper together, looking at Cat. Her one eyes is massively swollen, a hand sized bruise around her neck, a black duffle over her shoulder.

“Was she,” Sam whispers at Buck “did she look like that in the footage?” They both look over at her.

“It was grainy and dull. Wow.” Buck replies, Sam nods slowly. Nat flicks Sam in the neck, and then Buck the same. They both wince, looking guilty.

“Got in over my head.” Cat shrugs, her one arm wrapped around her ribs, holding tightly. “Short, PG version, ticked off the wrong people. Was going to split, but as I was heading for the train station, I remembered I gave you my word.” She shifts, wincing slightly. “You might be right. I might need out of this life.” She admits. Peter sets Morgan down, Clint moves, taking her duffle, she shuffles, wincing. Tony is out of his seat, letting her take it.

“Is the cat yours?” Wanda looks over where Morgan is laying on the floor, the black cat is flat on his back, purring as she rubs his belly.

“He’s um. a friend.” She looks over at the two on the floor. “Sorry he’s trashy for belly rubs.” She sighs, wincing.

“He’s purring daddy.” Morgan giggles.

“He likes your small human.” Cat smirks.

“Can you, can you talk to cats?” Peter’s head tips.

“Just Odin.” She looks over at the cat, rubbing his face against Morgan’s cheeks.

“Wild.” Peter whispers in shock.

“We worked with a raccoon, but he’s shocked she can talk to a cat. I swear.” Nat rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

“Why just him?” Clint asks, looking at Cat.

“Not a PG conversation.” She looks up at him. “But he will sell his soul to her if she keeps that up.” She looks back at Morgan and Odin, who is getting another round of belly rubs.

“Morgan, baby.” Pepper claps her hands. “Why don’t we get some milk and find a snack for your new friend Odin.” Pepper grins. It was a subtle way for the team to leave, have a conversation Morgan didn’t need to be apart of.

“Momma, isn’t uncle Thor’s daddy, Odin?” Morgan asks looking up from the black cat sprawled across her little lap. The team slowly slipping out of the kitchen, he helps Cat, shuffle out of the room.

“He is. Maybe he came back as a cat.” Pepper nods, pulling open the fridge. “Better be nice, maybe you could write uncle Thor a letter, telling him about your new friend.” Pepper smiles.

“Momma I could just video call him.” Morgan giggles from the floor.

“That’s an idea too. Maybe you need to ask your dad to help you do that later.” Pepper laughs.

-------------------------

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @all1e23 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @nishanki1 @crist1216 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @justrae9903 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @callie-bear15 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @childishhoebinoo @elizabethaellison @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @abbypalmer14-blog @fanfictionjunkie1112 @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @xqueenofthecraziesx @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mustbeaweasleyginger @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Marvel Tag List 2/6/19: @lumelgy @dottirose @jcc04220 @rockagurl @a--1--1--3 @mizzzpink @jade-taillia @coley0823 @widowsfics @bookluver01 @thelostallycat @shield-agent78 @dtftheavengers @ilovetvshowsblog @capsheadquaters @iamwarrenspeace @thefridgeismybestie @whenallsaidanddone @deanwinchestersrifle @fandomsstolemylife00 @daughterofthenight117 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @coley0823 @yavanna80 @lakamaa12 @boltsgirl919 @feelmyroarrrr @mrsseizetheday @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @mybarnesmyhero @the-real-mary-jane @dumbbitchenergytm @agentsinstorybrooke @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Smoke: @2s0uls @rimaries @xxloki81xx @csigeoblue @demonlover87 @capandbuckylvr @marvelfansworld @natromanoffsboys @barton-you-dummy @thefandomimagines @thosesexytexasboys

#Marvel #Clint Barton x Reader #Avengers #Clint x Reader #Smoke #Marvel Fanfiction #Clint Barton Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Ronin Series

120 notes · View notes

bubmyg · 4 years

Note

- concerns from armys, and i can understand why they would want to change the way they produced albums, but there are sooo many other recycled papers that are so much better. the photos are so pretty and aren't done justice on this grainy shit that looks like it's out of a dollar store coloring book :,( i bought the album to support the boys, but i also expected the high-quality photobooks like in previous ones. idk. i'm just sad and feel cheated out of some nice albums. MOTS : 7 is my - [3/?]

- first full set of albums that i've purchased, my first was ver. 1 of MOTS : P and i really liked it! but now that i've seen what MOTS : 7 is like i'm starting to regret purchasing it. sorry if this is getting redundant but ahhh,,, i just wish the team put more effort into it since they know how many people bought it. i hope bh doesn't try to gloss over this since they know how much we love the boys and they might think we'll ignore this as more content comes out... :(( idk what to do now [4/4]

hey bubs, I didn’t get the first two parts for some reason but I have heard some other people talk abt the quality of the photo book and to my understanding they were supposed to be more poster like so like extra posters??? but it was never rlly explained so I can understand why people were upset. I’m not home to look at my copy so I rlly have no like personal opinion on it but I will say as consumers of a very expensive product ur absolutely allowed to have concerns abt it especially quality wise and idk how much it would help but it may be worth it to email bh!!!!! but I’m sorry tho bubs :-( we can only hope they hear people’s concerns for next time and if they don’t then of course u don’t have to buy anything ya know then maybe they’ll notice djdndndn

#yoonpxradise #answered #did this make sense djdjd

1 note · View note

bereft-of-frogs · 5 years

Text

so I’m just going to be a small vibrating ball of anxiety today

I’ve just been so burned on the employment front lately that I’m just convinced something’s going to fall through with this job. Even though everyone I’ve interacted with at this place has been lovely, supportive, and communicative (this is so not academia lol), I’m just for some reason convinced at some point before 4:30 today they’re going to call and be like ‘oh sorry. never mind.’

so I’m going to channel this anxiety into:

1) running (I have a route planned out. No idea how long it is. Just going to go. See what happens.) (once my watch charges because I forgot to charge my watch)

2) housework (I have to fold laundry and clean out the fridge - and I started listening to the Hot & Bothered podcast which is GREAT, highly recommend. So that should make housework fun.)

3) plane crash project (Look. I’m going to cathart. This is a pure self-indulgent catharsis project. I don’t know if it will actually work, if I’ll actually post any of it, if I’ll actually finish it. But whatever. Ha.)

[Unrelated, but okay sort of related, this morning I played around a bit fixing up my bio in the sidebar and finally decided to bite the bullet and add a link to my Ko-Fi. It’s been a long summer of bending over backwards arguing with myself over whether that was something I wanted, something I deserved to include, conversations with friends about how we think of creative work and money, and I just...I added the link. I’m not going to ask for anything, or expect anything, but hey, it’s there now. It exists. Technically the page has existed since like...July. I wasn’t going to mention it, but then I thought it was going to be more awkward if I didn’t mention it...then I kept spinning myself in circles, etc etc. This is why I also left ‘Official Overthinker’ in the bio. Almost took that out. Then I was like....nope that’s exactly what you’re doing right now.]

[Okay, I’m going to stop overthinking all over this post, my watch is probably charged by now, I’m going to go run around.]

[I also changed my cover image to a far more aesthetically pleasing painting by Ivan Aivazovsky, instead of my grainy iphone picture of the sea, so that makes me happy.]

So much better. Ahhh.

#lists lists lists #plane crash cw

3 notes · View notes

buckychristwrites · 6 years

Text

If I Can Dream | OS | b.b.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You had dreamed of the day of your wedding for a long time, but life had other plans.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death

A/N: What’s up! This is for @eurusholmmes‘s Angst Challenge! My prompt was “I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!” Thank you to Kayla for giving me this opportunity! I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think! :)

Masterlist

Bucky felt incredibly underdressed for a wedding, but in that moment, he didn’t care.

The chapel was lively, packed with so many people that it was beginning to look like the royal wedding. The sound of the chatter was bouncing off the walls, along with the organ music that was playing while people found their seats.

Bucky walked along the far side wall, as far from people as he could get, towards the back of the room, with his head hung low and his hair covering his face. He wasn’t sure why he continued to concern himself with these things. He wasn’t going to be noticed. He never was.

He slipped down the back hallway, unseen as he peeked into every room until a flood of white caught the corner of his eye. Slowly, he entered the doorway, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he took in the sight in front of him. He tried to appear confident as his shoulder leaned into the doorframe, but his shaky hands and quick breaths gave him away.

“Hey,” He said. You jumped, dropping your hands hands from your veil and whirling around to face him. He swallowed hard as he looked you up and down. You were breathtaking. Bucky had spent many days imagining you like this. And now here you were, looking just as stunning as he always thought you would. He inhaled sharply, eyes stinging. “You look spectacular.” You stared at him in shock for so long that he uncomfortably shifted against the doorframe. Slowly, you crossed the room, and he moved inside just in time for you to shut the door.

“I didn’t invite you here, Bucky,” You finally spoke, followed by a harsh sigh. He wanted to be more put off by your less than welcoming reaction to him being there, but he was too lost in the way your soft curls fell over your shoulders, and the way your dark eye shadow made your eyes explode in color. Your veil fell down at the just the right length, and your dress hugged your body just perfectly. In the sunlight that streamed in through the windows, you looked like a goddess. And Bucky was at worship.

“Since when do I need an invitation?” He asked you, his back finding a wall to lean against. “You used to love it when I just popped in everywhere.” Your head rolled backward so you were staring at the ceiling. Bucky crossed his arms over his chest. He wished he knew what you were thinking, the thoughts hidden behind the angry facade you were putting on. He knew you well enough to know better.

“Yeah, but that was before…” You trailed off, your head falling back down so you were looking at him once more. Pain filled his chest. You didn’t need to finish your sentence. He already knew what you were going to say.

“That was before Steve,” He said plainly. You closed your eyes, mirroring him as you crossed your arms over your chest. After a few seconds of silence, you looked at him again. The anger on your face had disappeared and was replaced with melancholy. At this sudden change in demeanor, he suddenly wished that you were still mad.

“Yes,” You said after a while, your voice just above a whisper. “It was before Steve.” He shook his head as he pushed himself off the wall and began to pace the room. You watched him carefully, keeping your distance.

“Ahhh, yes,” He said quietly, but you could still hear the bitter undertone. He looked up at you as he walked, a fake smile on his face. “What’s it like? Shacking up with my best friend, I mean.” Tears stung your eyes as you shook your head, ignoring the chills that shot up your spine from his words.

“Don’t be like that,” You said in a quiet, pleading voice. “Don’t act like I did this to spite you. It’s not like that at all.” You paused to take a shaky breath while also trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. “What was I supposed to do, Bucky? Tell me what you wanted me to do.” He scoffed, shaking his head.

“I wanted you to at least pretend that you cared about what we had,” He grumbled. “I want you to act like you even thought about me before you jumped into bed with Steve.” Anger from his words fueled you as you suddenly took a few steps towards him.

“I waited a whole two years before I even went on a date with Steve, Bucky!” You shouted. “I couldn’t just sit around and let myself wilt away, I had to move on! And you need to as well!” He was now in front of you, only a few feet away.

“I can’t move on from something that wasn’t supposed to end!” He shouted back at you. Turning away from him, you took a couple of steps towards the door. Your hand was on the ridge of your nose and your eyes were squeezed shut. Not wasting anymore time, you whipped back around.

“Maybe you should’ve considered that before-” You stopped yourself, biting your lip and closing your eyes. Bucky faltered slightly, taking a couple of steps back and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Say it.” You shook your head, eyes still closed. Bucky said your name firmly, making you open them again to look at him. His lips were pressed in a firm line as he stared intensely at you, waiting. You sighed, standing up a little straighter and holding your head up a little higher.

“Maybe,” You started again. “You should’ve thought about that before…” You trailed off again, closing your eyes once more.

“Before you got yourself killed.”

There it was.

Your words hit him so hard that he felt like he needed to sit down. He looked around the room, fighting hard to ignore your tearful stare as he tried to blink away the tears in his own eyes.

“You would’ve died,” His voice was low and slightly breaking. Your breathing hitched in your throat as you tried and failed to hold back a sob. He looked back at you. “You would’ve died if I didn’t.” You shook your head, looking away from him as the tears began to fall. Part of you wanted to say that you had never hated him more than you did in this moment, but you knew that wasn’t true. You had hated him more that day.

“So what,” You said, looking down at the ground. “Am I supposed to be grateful? Grateful that I’ve lived every goddamn day blaming myself for your death? Is that what you wanted? I didn’t leave my apartment for almost a year until Steve showed up and forced me out. Not that you don’t know that, you were always there.” He shoved his hands deeper in his pockets, suddenly feeling very small.

“I just thought that maybe… maybe if I stuck around, you would-“ He stopped abruptly, because he knew just how fucked up the words that were about to leave his mouth sounded.

“I would what? Still be with you?” You cried. You began to openly cry as you stormed towards him. You reached for him, but the only thing your hand grabbed was a fistful of air. “I can’t touch you, Bucky! I’m the only one who can see you! What kind of life would that be? Of being able to see and talk to you but not touch you? Hug you? Or kiss you? Or have your kids?” You laughed humorlessly, looking away from him. “I never resented my abilities more than I did the first time you came to see me after you died. What a cruel fucking joke. To be so close to you and yet so far.”

The both of you stood in silence for a while, your words hanging in the air. You stared out the window while Bucky stared at you. Part of you wondered how messed up your makeup was, but you made no move to look in a mirror to see.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispered, making you turn your attention back to him. “I’m so sorry.” You shook your head.

“If you didn’t die then I would’ve,” You said sadly. “Maybe we just weren’t meant to make it.” He closed his eyes for a moment, saying nothing as he nodded. The both of you had thought it at one time or another, but hearing it said out loud hurt you both tremendously. He turned away from you.

“I should go,” He said softly. “I’m sorry for coming.” He began to walk towards the door, feeling you burning holes into his receding back.

“You look good, Bucky.” The words were so quiet that he almost missed them. Stopping dead in his tracks, he turned back to face you again. You took him in, this time focusing on his appearance instead of his presence.

“I wore it for you,” He said as he adjusted the tie of his enlistment uniform. The one you had only seen in the grainy black and white pictures his mom had taken all those years ago. You could recall when you told him that you wanted him to wear it the day you two got married, and you could still hear the skepticism in his voice when he wished you luck in finding it. But here he was. It was as close to seeing it in person as you would ever get, so you soaked it in. Bucky bit his lip.

“Do you love him?” He asked you.

“Of course I do,” You replied, a little too quick but still with enough force to kick Bucky in the stomach. He opened his mouth and closed it, debating against his next words.

“More than me?” He blurted out. You hesitated, his anxiety growing with every second that passed with you silent. You turned away from him.

“I don’t think…” You said carefully before pausing. Another half minute passed before you looked at him again. “I don’t think I’ll love anything as much as I loved you.” He nodded, his chest swelling as he ignored the lingering word that hung between the two of you. Loved.

With one last look at you, Bucky turned and left the room without a word.

He navigated through the crowd of people. Out of his peripheral, he could see Stark, Pepper, Peter Clint and Natasha sitting on Steve’s side of the aisle, talking amongst themselves. On the other side, a few rows back, Vision and Wanda were huddled together. Thor stood in the back of the room, gleefully talking to some of the other patrons. Bucky tried not to look at any of them before he ducked down a hallway, making his way up a set of stairs.

When he walked back out to the chapel, your wedding song had just started playing through the speakers. He leaned over the rails of the balcony, taking in the beautiful church. It was everything you had ever wanted. As the wedding party made its way down the aisle, it killed him how he couldn’t give this to you. He eyed Steve, who was anxiously waiting for you to appear. Bucky wanted to be angry at him, but he wasn’t. He was too busy being angry at himself.

The sea of people suddenly stood and before he had time to prepare, you came into Bucky’s view from underneath the balcony. He couldn’t breathe as he watched you walk down the aisle. You were alone, and to him, that was most appropriate. No distractions. All eyes on you. Just like you deserved. The closer you got to Steve, the more choked up Bucky got. The way you beamed up at Steve was like falling off the train a thousand more times. The ceremony was a blur. Bucky didn’t recall hearing the reading of the vows at all as he was too focused on you putting the ring on Steve and him doing the same to you.

“You may now kiss the bride,” The minister’s voice echoed throughout the room, and Bucky had to look away.

Your heart soared as you pulled away from Steve. Your new husband smiled radiantly down at you as he entwined your fingers with his and began leading you down the aisle towards the doors. The roar of the crowd made it so that you couldn’t hear anything else. You were smiling so wide that your cheeks hurt. For some reason, you happened to look up just in time to catch Bucky’s pain filled face just before you got too far underneath the balcony.

Bird seed rained down on the two of you as you ran outside towards the car. You laughed and smiled at everyone, but the pain you felt in your chest was overwhelming. When the two of you were in the back of the limo, the doors shut and alone, you finally let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Out of the corner of your eye, you felt Steve staring at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze.

“Was he there?” He asked. You sighed. He didn’t need to explain further, you knew what he meant.

“Yeah,” You said, staring at the floor of the car and counting the specks of dirt that you could see. “He looked good… He was wearing his enlistment uniform.” The movement from the corner of your eye let you know that Steve was nodding.

“Was he mad?” He asked. You tilted your head to the other side.

“Yeah,” You said honestly. “But I think he understands.” You turned around to look out the back window of the car. Steve reached for your hand, rubbing circles on your skin with his thumb.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” He asked you.

You watched the crowd of people make their way to the cars for the reception, but once the crowd had depleted, there was one lone body standing there, watching the car recede. Despite the hat on the top of his head, you could see the wind blowing his hair every which way. Tears stung your eyes as you silently watched him. His body got smaller and smaller as the limo got further away, him finally turning and walking away. You slowly turned back in your seat, your eyes looking back at the ground before you sighed again. “I hope so.”

_________________________________________