#after nine months without having the motivation to write
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I JUST FINISHED WRITING A WEAK HERO ONESHOT AND I'M SO HSPPY NDBFD
#I'm really proud of myself!#after nine months without having the motivation to write#I'd say finishing a oneshot w more than 1k words in less than 3 hours is an achievement#alsoooo I hope I can finish the new fic I published#– nam thoughts#keum seongje#ji hakho#wolf keum#jake ji#weak hero
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Hi, could I request a enemies to lovers with Enzo? Love your writing :))
tysm for the request anon!! i am so so sorry for taking ages to post this but i got veryyyyyy carried away and it may or may not be too long BUT i hope you enjoy it and that it's similar enough to what you imagined <3
king of my heart.
masterlist , requests
pairing - lorenzo berkshire x reader
summary - you and lorenzo are both sore, jealous losers with egos the size of jupiter, so you decide that you hate one another and that academic competing is the way to go. you keep that up for six full years, until something rather unfortunate happens and destroys your entire game plan.
trope/tags - enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers, angst, fluff
word count - 12.8k
warnings - language, smoking
if there was one thing every single person who ever crossed your path knew about you, even if you were barely acquainted, was that you had sort of been raised without the ability to accept that you cannot always come out on top. it was simply incomprehensible. you'd been told that you were a gifted kid from the moment you became aware of your pathetic little existence. it did wonders to your ego. your smarts and determination amused your tutors, petrified them even. and the better you got, the more motivation it sparked in you.
you intended to keep things going your way when your acceptance letter for hogwarts arrived in the mail. you weren't worried, not even a little bit, and neither were your parents. being the best of the best was a running thing in your family.
unsurprisingly, it couldn't have started off better. your professors loved you. other kids envied you. each essay and exam result you'd ever recieved was the textbook definition of perfect. your grades were nicer that aphrodite's reflection in the mirror, as hermione had told you once. it was a lot coming from her. she was also amongst the few of the smartest, most hardworking students in your year, but you never felt threatened by her, or anybody else for that matter. there was, weirdly, no jealousy. on her part, at least, considering you so very effortlessly secured your spot as top of the class and never let anybody take it. she'd always be happy for you like the good friend she was, proudly patting you on the back, yet you couldn't help but think if she ever felt a little angry behind that supportive smile of hers.
and funny enough, you were finally able to stop pretending to know what it was like one fine wednesday before the christmas holidays. you had come into class more confident than ever that morning, smugly waiting for your potions essay results. you were hoping for a hundred, but a ninety nine, maybe even a ninety eight, didn't seem so bad either. that would have been, if lorenzo berkshire hadn't got his essay back with a score better than yours. he, much like yourself, was just another sore loser who craved academic validation like a drug, silently fuming whenever somebody surpassed him. he had dealt it with for months, watching you ace everything from charms to transfiguration, and always being second to you. the jealousy consumed his entire being, and he was kind of going mental, so you one could only imagine how ecstatic he was when he saw your face twist with dread after snape praised him in front of everybody. he wouldn't have hidden that mocking grin on his face if you held a knife to his throat and it made you want to choke him to death, for lack of better term.
"l/n." he sang as he successfully caught you in the corridor right after the said lesson. twat. you ignored him and increased the speed of your steps, biting the inside of your cheek, so hard that it began to sting. you didn't instantaneously realise how desperate he was to get your attention, but it became a lot clearer when he stood in front of you, entirely blocking your path. your little attempts to confuse him and avoid the situation were useless. it was kind of pathetic.
"what do you want?" simply shoving him to the ground and acting like it never happened would have done the job, but god forbid you swallowed your pride for once.
"c'mon, don't be so pissy, i'm just trying to make conversation." you saw right through him, anyone would. him? wanting to make conversation with you? after death-glaring you every lesson for three months straight? and then bursting your bubble and being so smug about it? you almost scoffed, "you're in my way."
"oh, my apologies." he moved to the side and bowed dramatically, waiting for you to leave. you rolled your eyes, and took a single step forward, just to have him come right back to his original spot.
"move." you tried to shove him and even attempted to run for it, but he was faster than you. your nostrils flared, "you know that today was just dumb luck, right?" you crossed your arms, thinking you'd get under his skin, but there was no sign of change on his face. on the contrary, he was more accomplished than ever. you were fuming.
"i wouldn't call it that." he tilted his head to the side, observing your face.
"alright then," you copied his movements, "plagiarism?" his smile fell a little. it made you a lot happier than it should have. you expected victory from that senseless squabble, but lorenzo wasn't the type of person who backed down so easily. that was something you should have known.
"you're projecting." he shrugged, blankly staring at you.
"projecting?" you almost stuttered.
"projecting. pick up a dictionary, yeah?" he gave your head a tiny pat, and left you standing in the hallway, dumbfounded, angry, and a little humiliated.
that moment alone set off a feud that changed the trajectory of your miserable lives forever. each time he did better than you, whether it was on an essay, an exam, flying lessons even, your urge to wipe his existence of the face of the earth got stronger. the feelings were mutual on his part. you went back and forth like that for a while, trying not to be that obvious about it, but one could only hide their true feelings for so long.
it started off with hushed insults, which got strategically thrown around every time you'd cross each other's path. having other people notice your diminishing confidence was proper nightmare fuel, so you kept it as subtle as possible. then it turned into shoving and pushing, which was enough to set off some alarm bells in the heads of your friends. neville had told you that it wasn't worth it, and draco, of all fucking people, had told lorenzo to tone it down, but you refused to listen. you offered a few empty promises, saying that you'll sort it out sooner or later (sort out as in make sure you never let lorenzo get a score higher than yours again, but that was not going to happen).
your sooner or later turned into a few godawfully long years. saying you hated him may have seemed like an overstatement, but there was no other way to describe that burning feeling of i want to fucking kill you that entirely took over you whenever you laid your eyes on him. it kept getting worse and worse, without you realising just how bad it had become. your little competitions had completely lost their significance. it didn't matter who was first anymore. it could be ron or pansy, and you wouldn't bat an eye. all you cared about was surpassing each other, even if you were among the average with your scores.
that being said, it became an open secret of sort. as stupid as you made your classmates out to be, they were not, and they quickly put the missing puzzle pieces together. one of them spread a rumour that you tried to kill lorenzo, or vice versa, you couldn't really remember. and frankly, you couldn't blame them. you had given them more than enough reasons to think that you hated his guts. the most ridiculous instance had to have been the one during potions class when snape assigned you to work together. you could have placed a bet of two million galleons that he did it on purpose. it was like he wanted you to fail.
lorenzo had managed to insult you before he even took a seat at your table, calling you too stupid to work with in front of the entire class. you told him that he was a daft idiot when he unwillingly slumped down into the empty seat next to you, which had only set him off more. you accepted your fates almost immediately, knowing that whatever task snape assigned to you wouldn't be done, even if it cost you your grades.
just like you predicted, you did everything but what you were supposed to; spilled every sort of liquid there was all over each other's things, broke a few glasses, set two notebooks on fire, and burnt a hole in the table. you had stuck him to his chair, too, and lost a few house points as a result.
***
a sane person would have reached a certain point and stopped, pushing all of those stupid grudges aside. forgive and forget, that whole talk. hopelessly, your friends thought you would have got over it as you were growing older and that you would have chosen basic human decency over some hurt feelings and an insignificant competition no one gave a shit about. but no. you were not sane. you were ruthless, and you continued trying to make each other miserable like your lives depended on it. you hated lorenzo berkshire, and he hated you just as much. you were too naive and caught up in it all to realise that it'll come right back for you later.
it was like some sick obsession. from obvious sabotaging during classes whenever you got assigned to work together (followed by unsatisfactory results you blamed the other for) to throwing insults at each other in the corridors where everybody was set to hear you, you had checked every single one off.
you called him a useless arsehole on a daily basis. he called you an insufferable bitch every time he saw you. you had cursed out each other during lessons and done even worse things when nobody was looking. and if anyone did see you and try to get involved and call you names, it was bad news for them. you were each other's enemies to insult and demean and degrade and ruthlessly bully, nobody else's. only you were allowed to call him a cockroach, and only he was allowed to call you a snake. your relationship with lorenzo was nothing you could explain to somebody with a fully functioning brain, even if you tried.
one night in your fifth year, you had successfully snuck out in search of some sort encyclopaedia to help you out with your DADA assignment. none of the books which you were allowed to use did good enough of a job at making it easier, so you were hoping that the restricted section would have something better to offer - which it did. you couldn't recall the last time your trip to the library was that short.
to make things even better, you successfully avoided bumping into an annoying brunette who made your life oh so entertaining (unbearable). lorenzo wasn't anywhere to be seen. you smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of freedom at last. you were praying that the prick got bored of looming around the corridors all alone like a loser, waiting to terrorise you.
you began humming a tune you heard dean play on his old gramophone (one that got confiscated), and skipped around the corner to make your way to the grand staircase. mistake number one. you tripped over something, someone, but managed to stay on your feet as opposed to falling face-first onto the ground. you didn't even have to look back to know who it was.
"my, my, out rebelling again?" lorenzo leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, smirking in satisfaction when he noticed how you were grimacing. he stepped on one of the books you dropped, refusing to move when you tried to snatch it back.
"do you mind?" you spat, aggressively pulling it from under his foot. you straightened out your clothes and dusted yourself off before tucking the literature you had picked up under your arm.
"stealing?" he raised an eyebrow.
"borrowing." you corrected.
"without permission?" he tilted his head to the side in faux amusement, "i wonder what would happen if i alerted a professor about this."
"and you'd tell them what?" you scoffed, barely able to hold your laughter in, "that you saw me stealing while you were sneaking out to go for a casual wank?" what a fucking idiot. you rolled your eyes, turning away from him with the intention to walk away from the scene. you were not in the mood for his bullshit.
"yeah, yeah, run away like you always do." he uttered in disappointment, yawning. he knew exactly which buttons to push, and it wasn't surprising. you were familiar with each other's habits and emotions more than you'd like to admit. you stopped in your tracks. sighing, you set the books down onto the stone tiles, and spun around to face him once again.
"aguamenti." you cast the spell with an evil smile, and in a matter of seconds, a wave of water was shot straight in lorenzo's direction, leaving him soaking wet. he gasped out in shock; his clothes clung to his body. the water was unbearably cold, it was so fucking freezing, he could barely move. the commotion was noisy enough to alert filch and his beloved ms. norris, but those were the last of your worries. your felt rather fulfilled, that was what mattered.
"you asked for it." you shrugged, but did not turn your back on him just yet. that would have been the easiest way for him to attack, so you mistakenly waited, thinking he would strike for you. he dug his wand out of his pocket, and muttered a spell, "vermiculus."
you whipped your head in the direction in which he pointed his hand, realising what happened a second too late. he had turned your precious books into worms. you yelped in surprise and stepped away from the disgusting mess on the ground, your back bumping into his chest. you turned to face him and gave him a harsh push, backing him up into the wall and shoving your wand into his face.
"uncast it." you demanded. he laughed. how stupid did you have to be to even think that he'd listen to you, "no."
"berkshire." your words came out louder than expected. you wouldn't have been shocked if you saw a teacher coming around the corner to reprimand the both of you for looming around so late, but you didn't care.
"undo the damn spell." you repeated, just about ready to strangle him if you deemed it necessary.
"no." he pushed you away and took a hold of his own wand. he tried to disarm you, but failed miserabley. two could play at that game, then "stupif-"
"what's going on here?" filch's scratchy voice stopped you mid-spell. your head snapped towards him, and you instinctively stuck your wand inside of your clothes as if he hadn't already seen it. being too preoccupied by trying to come up with an explanation that you hadn't previously used to get yourself out of trouble, you had forgotten about the slimy creatures crawling on the floor. a worm wiggled towards you, too close for comfort, and you scrambled to get away, clumsily bumping into lorenzo once again. he gave you a somewhat gentle shove to get you away, and you kicked him in response, right in the shin.
"she tried to drown me." he explained with an irritated groan, rubbing the sore spot on his leg.
"he destroyed school property." you added dramatically, wishing to kick him one more time. filch's eyes trailed over to the filth beside your feet, and he made a face of disgust before instructing you both to follow him to dumbledore's office.
the whole ordeal ended with the books being safely returned to their spot on the shelves of the restricted section, a half-assed DADA assignment and the two of you getting put on bathroom cleaning duty for seven days straight (no magic allowed). it was probably the biggest mistake of dumbledore's life.
the bathrooms were not cleaned properly once. in fact, they'd only end up in conditions which were about ten times worse than their default ones. lorenzo was too busy spilling bucketfuls of water, dirty or clean, all over you to care whether he scrubbed the junk off every single sink there was (payback for the stunt you pulled on him in the corridor), and you were too busy hitting him with funny smelling toilet brushes (made sure you got all that rubbish into his hair, too) to polish the tiles and mirrors to perfection like you were told to do. it was disgusting and sickeningly entertaining at once. dumbledore considered punishing you with some other method, but gave up seeing what the boys' toilets looked like after night four. not even detention was able to come between the two of you. limits and common sense weren't either.
***
in your sixth year, the unimaginable happened. there wasn't a single soul who saw it coming, not even yourselves. maybe it was magic. maybe it was a sign from the universe. maybe some higher power did everybody justice. whatever it was, it sent your professors into a spiral. their shitty damage control was finally paying off, as cruel as it turned out to be.
classes had become increasingly more difficult than they were in previous years. to follow, to manage, to keep track of, and everything in between. mcgonagall had pulled you outside twice, asking you what was wrong after she had noticed that you were falling behind. many of your peers were, actually, but nobody would have ever expected it from you. the results you'd achieve weren't always as perfect as they were in your first year, though you had never struggled to get past eighty points until then. it was singlehandedly the worst thing that could have ever happened to you. priorities were hard to sort out, so there was a noticeable decline in your performance. you were absolutely miserable, and it did not get better, only worse. so bad that you had forgotten that you had a certain slytherin to compete with.
it was the day before halloween night, lessons had come to an end. your friends scattered around different places – some to the great hall, some to hogsmeade, some headed straight to bed, all intending to clear their minds after a stressful week of difficult assignments and dreadfully challenging essays. nearly every student left the transfiguration classroom with a relieved smile, happy that even their low scores ensured them a pass. hermione got a ridiculous amount of praise for her outstanding results, and even an encouraging pat on the back from mcgonagall.
so, a wonderful end of october for everybody but yourself. your expectations weren't high when you handed your toughest essay in. you thought you'd get sixty points at best. not hoping for much, yet still trying to ignore the worst possible outcome - one that was bound to get you someday like proper karma. but that wouldn't actually happen, would it? there was no way. it was impossible. you felt like a bloody idiot.
you failed. you fucking failed. for the first time in your life. and it was much more humiliating than you had imagined. you were so upset with yourself that you hadn't even bothered to pester lorenzo about his results, and strangely, he hadn't approached you either. no glances, no death glares, no hushed insults. not during the lesson, not after.
you left the transfiguration classroom trying your hardest not to cry, ignoring all of your friends and wishing to get out of the castle as soon as possible. you needed to be alone. you weren't looking for anybody's comfort, validation or their empty words of sympathy that would lose their meaning the moment you fixed the mess you were in. so you went to the black lake; where very little people preferred spending time, where you could be at peace with your own thoughts, and where you could catch a much needed break, even if it was only for a little while.
you slumped down onto the grass with a thump, bringing your knees up to your chest and letting your tears fall. you failed. for merlin's sake, you failed. it was like everything you had ever known was suddenly gone. you weren't even worried about what your parents or professors would say. truthfully, you couldn't give less of a damn. you were so disappointed that you had blocked out everything and everyone else, or whatever stupid opinion and solutions they might have had to offer. everyone, except for lorenzo and that dumb game you two were, for an even dumber reason, still playing. he must have been oh so happy to hear about your failure. he'd never let you live it down, you knew it.
"l/n?" speak of the fucking devil. he always had fantastic timing.
"get out of my sight before i throw you into the lake." you spat, wiping your tear-stained face with your sleeve, not looking at him.
"shiver me timbers." he sang, not feeling threatened at all.
"berkshire." you warned, turning your head towards him and meeting his gaze. you shouldn't have moved. worry flashed through his face for a brief moment when he caught a glimpse your puffy eyes, and he pressed his lips together, guilty. could he actually bring himself to pester you while you were in such a terrible condition? no, he couldn't, regardless of the resentment he felt towards you.
he cleared his throat and took a step closer. you sighed, staring back at the landscape spread out in front of you without uttering a word, "what happened?" he questioned hesitantly.
"nothing that concerns you." you attempted to shut him down. he raised both of his eyebrows, a little amused, "someone upset my favourite rival," he scoffed, "of course it concerns me."
you rolled your eyes, "just leave, will you?" but did you really want him to? your voice shook as you spoke. you despised the part of you that was wishing for him to stay. you wanted to be alone more than anything, but you knew you'd break down again if he listened to your plea and left you there. you'd take his overused insults over failure any day.
"not until you tell me what happened." your jaw clenched, and you muttered a quiet curse, knowing that he most likely wouldn't let up. as if that one would miss out on an opportunity to annoy you. he settled down in the grass, right next to you, waiting.
you sat in silence for what felt like forever. he didn't push you to speak again, and you were pretty reluctant to say a single thing. not even calling him names seemed tempting. you sighed for the nth time, starting to tear up again, "i got my essay back with thirty points." you sniffled, silently preparing yourself to get made fun of.
"fuck," you heard him mumble, and he scratched his head shortly before speaking, "if it makes you feel better, i got twenty eight." getting on your nerves was always in his best interest. although, having to see you so seriously upset was not on his bucket list, not anymore. you stared at him in shock, frowning, "what?"
he nodded. the look on his face was so sullen that you were starting to believe him, "are you not taking the piss?"
he snorted, "i wish i was," he avoided your gaze, "i, uh," he pursed his lips in thought, letting out a breath of frustration, "i was convinced i'd do well even if i started last minute... without research, but uh, guess i was wrong." you hummed, doubtful.
"why are you telling me all this?" you shook your head and trailed your eyes back to the lake, finding it rather difficult to believe that he was being so... nice. it was your first normal conversation and you had no clue what to make of it.
"who else am i supposed to tell it to?" he responded, annoyed. you bit the inside of your cheek, just as irritated, picking up a pebble. you examined it shortly before throwing it into the water.
lorenzo watched you curiously, having very little to say, which was terribly weird in itself. lorenzo berkshire not having a single unnecessary, offending comment to offer? your failures had truly taken a toll on you, completely.
"i can't believe we both fell off." you said in wonder, throwing another rock below the surface.
"right," he agreed, without an urge to backtalk, "fucking hell, i've no reason to hate you now." he blurted out, horrified by his own words.
"fantastic, now i suck at that too." you let out a dry, emotionless chuckle. you weren't crying anymore, just silently fuming at lorenzo for being the one to stop it without even properly trying.
"you suck at everything." he corrected.
"i take after you." you retorted nonchalantly.
"dumbass." he bit back a smile.
"dickhead." you were struggling just as hard. holding in your laughter was never more challenging, but you were determined not to break character.
you found yourselves in an eerily comfortable silence. by the looks of it, things would be alright. knowing that he messed up too somehow put you at ease. not even because you were happy to him fail, but more at the thought that it just happened to be at the same time as you. you found a certain dose of comfort in it. it was written in the stars, as it seemed.
"get lost now." you broke the bubble you found yourselves in. it was about time you got back on track. there was no way you'd get all friendly and gushy with him, even after whatever that was.
"alright, alright." he stood up, groaning as he did so. he dusted off the pieces of grass that got stuck to his trousers.
he stared back at the lake shortly, waiting to see if you'd say anything else he could offer a witty response to. he was a bit sad when you didn't, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, sighing, "well, i shall see you-"
"never." you finished that for him.
"perfect." he added, turning on his heel and heading towards the castle. you allowed yourself to glimpse at him one last time, simply not being able to let him have the last word.
"you've got some on your arse." you were talking about the remainder of the grass that was stuck to his clothing. he stopped to clean it up, and then flipped you off wordlessly.
you thought that was the last of your civilised interactions. there was no reason for you to bore your mind with it. you happened to fall behind at the same time and it gave you a decent bonding moment, but it was nothing more than that. just two people who claimed they didn't like one another very much talking properly for once. nothing, it was nothing. simple as that. so you weren't able to pinpoint why you kept looking back on it nearly every day, or why you felt so guilty for calling him stupid and useless, or why making fun of him for getting a lower score than you wasn't rewarding anymore, or why competing so fiercly was no longer satisfactory. and why he too, happened to feel just the same. maybe you had grown out of it.
you blamed it on the stress. you did have lots of different things occupying your mind anyway - such as your major arithmancy exam that you decided to pull an all nighter for.
for the first time in a while, you stayed inside the library past closing hours. madam pince wasn't too happy about it, but she liked you enough to let you crash there and warned filch not to throw you outside if he happened to notice you during his nightly patrol. the woman had some interesting tactics up her sleeve, none of which you ever questioned.
you swore, probably for the tenth time in the past two minutes, crumpling up yet another piece of parchment. you had to start over a ridiculous amount of times. the pile of rubbish on the floor was growing larger by the second. ripped up paper, bottles of ink, broken feathers, it was definitely a sight. there was no way you were getting through all of that on your own. and oh how that angered you. you rarely ever needed assistance with anything, but this was just a little bit above your level. that enraged you even more. a helping hand was starting to sound promising.
"you're still here?" you didn't even flinch, knowing all too well who that voice belonged to. did god or the devil just answer your prayers? you never got past your little habits of leaving the dormitories to do whatever there was to be done around the castle almost every night, so there he went, running into you again. lorenzo peeked out from behind the bookshelves in front of you, smiling like a little kid who was just about to do something egregiously silly. you couldn't not grin back, despite being angry.
"you're still here?" you repeated his question, crossing your arms.
"i asked first." he moved towards your desk, pulling out an empty chair and settling there next to you without even asking if you wanted him there. weird, that one.
"alright, and?" you teased further. he bumped your shoulder with his own. he wanted something. punching him suddenly sounded like a fine option. he looked over your arm to examine your notes.
"arithmancy?" he glared at you, kind of bemused. it was another subject he was that awfully good at, unlike you. you weren't terrible, but not exactly the best either. an infuriating thing.
"my favourite." you responded sarcastically, throwing your quill across the table. he hummed, sitting back in his chair, but not taking his eyes off of you. he definitely wanted something.
"what?" you could sense it already. he was gonna mock you again.
"do you need help with that, perhaps?" or maybe not. you looked at him, skeptical.
"from you?" you raised an eyebrow.
"well, i mean, yeah." he shifted in his spot, as if he was anxious. you did a double take, and then burst out laughing, wiping away a non-existent tear. he was just too damn funny. him helping you? that was a good one. you carried on with that little performance of yours for the next minute until it hit you that he wasn't joking.
"are you serious?" you asked, just to confirm. there was absolutely no chance.
"look, i can leave-" he stood up, "no," you grabbed a fistful of his sweater and pulled him back down. he yelped, startled, "what's your deal?" you weren't letting him get away with that so easily.
"what do you mean?" he was geniuenly confused.
"don't play fucking dumb," you jabbed a finger into his chest, "why are you being so kind to me all of a sudden?"
he laughed uncomfortably, scratching the nape of his neck, "well, i thought, you know, since it seems like we're no longer on about hating each other, that-"
"oh." you interrupted him, chuckling in disbelief. you shook your head, rubbing your temples in frustration and then letting your arms fall to your sides, "look, berkshire, just because i'm not trying to kill you anymore doesn't mean i want to be friends."
"what!? for fuck's sake, you're impossible." he stood up once more, this time darting out of your reach.
"here we go again." you rolled your eyes. you just couldn't interact without quarreling, could you? he paced around inbetween the bookshelves before returning to your table, "you're not exactly giving me any reasons to be nice right now."
"i never asked of you to be nice." you argued.
"you could appreciate me trying." he retorted. you had no idea what on earth he was trying to achieve. you could only think of so many explanations, "why? so that you could gain my trust and then stab me in the back when it's convenient for you?"
"that's what this is about?" he muttered something under his breath, "i thought we were past that rubbish."
you wanted to laugh hysterically, "okay, we may have pushed the resentment aside, but you can't exactly expect me to trust you."
he understood that, unbeknownst to you, "i never said that you needed to trust me," he sighed, leaning over the table, "listen, i offered to help you because i can see you're struggling. i'm not here to sabotage you if that's what you're worried about. i'd be wasting my time." he straightened his posture, standing there with his arms crossed.
"because i'm already terrible enough and don't need anyone's interference to properly fuck up, right?" you were prepared to tell him to bugger off if he refused to give you the answer you were looking for, furious at him and yourself.
he paused, hesitant. you were so fucking stubborn, and he loved you for it, "correct." alright then.
you picked up your quill, "sit down."
you got your exam back with a shocking score of eighty-nine, surpassing even hermione. not lorenzo, but you were second, and that was enough to have your ego flying right back through the roof.
i told you you could do it, he said, but not without me, he had to point out. you had to give him that. how could you not? he casually decided to save your life without you even asking for it. if it weren't for him, you most likely would have majorly fucked up on that exam. that's not saying that it wasn't difficult. he had no patience and you had even less, but you had somehow survived that night in the library without biting each other's heads off or getting into any additional fights. he even followed you back to your dorm, an offer he didn't allow you to refuse and one that you were too exhausted to complain about.
in the few weeks that followed, you decided that it was for the best that you block out whatever happened between you that night. christmas holidays were approaching, and you couldn't let that ruin your mood. lorenzo told you that mattheo said that it was a shift in the matrix. you had no idea what that meant, it sounded horrifyingly muggle, but you agreed for the sake of agreeing. a shift in the matrix, bloody nonsense. a coincidence, you called it. an accident, even. an accident that helped you out tremendously and made you reconsider lorenzo on nights when you couldn't sleep, but still an accident.
who were you kidding? something had definitely changed. other students started noticing it too.
you had gradually become somewhat friendly rivals who'd rub their own success into each other's faces for the laughs till they got threatened with a jinx or tickled to death. some occasional name calling too, just not as intense. but you weren't friends. nothing near it. you had done a pretty good job at convincing yourself you never would be. treating him a little better than usual was the farthest you'd go trying to mend all those years of jealousy and grudges. that was what you started living by, pushing away that strange tingling sensation that would coarse through you every time his hands happened to brush against yours when you walked side by side.
it is exactly why you almost spilled acidic liquid all over the table and burnt a hole in it again when he sat next to you during potions one fine afternoon.
snape was visibly mortified by the sight, partially because of that incident from two years prior (when you almost set the entire classroom on fire), and partially because he couldn't believe that mcgonagall was actually onto something when she purposefully failed you both. it would go down in history as one of the most ridiculous moments of his career. he sent a warning glare your way before beginning the lesson.
"excuse you?" you whispered once professor snape finally turned his back to the class, raising both of your eyebrows in question. was lorenzo asking to get violated?
"harry took my seat." he pointed towards the table where he usually sat. and shockingly enough, there was harry, sitting next to draco, for whatever sick and twisted reason. you gaped at them, then at lorenzo. not looking into that deeper was maybe for the better.
okay then. you didn't respond, trying to get into taking some notes like you were previously instructed. that would have been easy (it was for the first quarter of the lesson), if lorenzo's presence wasn't keeping you so alert, stopping you from focusing on what you deemed more important, "merlin, can you breathe a little quieter?" you snapped.
he purposely inhaled louder than he normally would, grinning proudly when your eyes rolled back into your brain. you kicked him under the table. he yelped, but oddly, covered it up with a cough. you glared at him, doubtful. that was not the reaction you were expecting to get.
you resumed trying to copy the crucial bits from the chapter snape assigned you all to analyse, very poorly. it was kind of impossible. you weren't used to having lorenzo sit so close to you for such an extended amount of time. ignoring him was unimaginably hard. your notes had never looked worse. words missing, constant mistakes, sensless scribbles. you reached for a new pot of ink after seeing that you had run out, and then felt his finger poke at your side.
you flinched, catching a glimpse of your professor who's head was still buried in the pile of assignments he needed to grade. he hadn't noticed you. good. but then lorenzo did it again, right where you were most ticklish, because he knew. you swatted his hand away, not missing the way he smiled to himself. little shit.
you reached to poke him too, and when you tried to pull away, he took a hold of your wrist, not letting go. he had a lot of good defense tactics up his sleeve. you didn't try to yank your arm out of his grip instantly, which was the perfect opportunity for him to tickle at your side with his free hand. this time, you held back a startled giggle, kicking him under the table one more time. he snorted, resuming his little game.
you were both sweating trying not to make too much noise, but neither of you was letting up, not letting the other have the satisfaction of winning. he eventually moved his chair closer to yours with the excuse to tickle you more effectively. your legs were touching under the table, but only because it was easier for you to kick him that way. it went on for at least fifteen minutes, until snape finally lifted his head, his eyes on the class. you separated, thinking you were being slick about it, when it was the least fitting explanation for what had been going on. the two of you had your lips pressed together, trying not to laugh. your professor could only sigh in response. at least you didn't set anything ablaze.
hermione tucked her arm under yours in the hallway when your lesson ended, grinning mischevously, "would you like to tell me what happened just now?"
you scoffed, rolling your eyes playfully, "huh? i don't know what you're on about." you played dumb, despite knowing exactly what she was getting at. and you had no idea why. it's not like you had anything to hide.
"i think you do." she pushed. there was not a chance for you to get out of that conversation.
"really? i truly don't." you still tried, though. acting foolish was your only escape route.
"y/n." she dragged out, laughing and pulling you along with her. potions were your final lesson of the day, so you were already able to picture her desperate attempts to pull some information out of you all the way until bedtime.
"what? we were just fighting." you finally gave in. you knew you would have to eventually, but you loved your free time a little too much to let her annoying interrogation tactics drag on for so long.
"so you do know what i'm on about." she teased, scarily invested.
"what else could you possibly be on about?" you snapped, pushing away that uncomfortable feeling that settled in your chest. you had no reason not to tell her anything, so you couldn't pinpoint why you were feeling so guilty all of a sudden.
"the way you two sat closer together than every couple in our year?" she exclaimed, astonished by how shamelessly you were avoiding the subject.
you gasped, feeling a bit offended, or maybe called out. you couldn't tell which one it was, "that is not what happened." that was an overexaggaration if you ever heard one. was she out of her bloody mind? sometimes you thought that she enjoyed setting you off as much as lorenzo did.
you stepped through the portrait hole with the rest of your housemates, pushing through the crowd to get your dormitories faster. you wanted a nice shower, some peace and quiet for reading, and then decent sleep. it was that simple. you survived the walk through the common room without anyone asking additional invasive questions, immediately heading for the toilet once you arrived to your dorm.
you really needed that shower. it made you feel whole again. you stepped out after putting some comfortable clothes on, skipping over to your bed and then cursing out loud when you realised what was on it. amongst your own, there was lorenzo's fucking book. you had accidentally taken it when you scrambled to collect your things once class ended.
you could have just given it to him tomorrow, or not given it back at all. like he'd know who took it. it was incredibly tempting, but it also felt unnecessarily mean. what if he needed it to study that night? you brushed it off, not like it was your problem anyway. you sat down onto the mattress, picking up a novel from your nightstand and throwing the other books straight to the carpet so you could comfortably settle on your bed. you then put it back. you didn't feel like reading anymore. you laid there, thinking. peace was never an option in your world.
you groaned, snatching his book up from the floor and venturing back into the common room. you hadn't bothered to explain yourself to anybody, and you continued trotting over to the dungeons with a neutral expression on your face (neutral as in i am very much internally raging and if anybody tries to talk to me i might use the imperius curse on them). very useless it was, that relaxing shower of yours.
none of the slytherins lounging on the sofa questioned you, your appearance was pretty telling. good thing you ran into mattheo on the way there. getting in wouldn't have been so easy otherwise. you disappeared in the direction of their dormitories, stopping right in front of lorenzo's door. you swallowed harshly, begenning to get nervous. something was wrong with you.
you hesitated before knocking, tapping your foot against the ground furiously as you waited. "one second!" lorenzo yelled from the other side. it sounded like something had fallen over. the noise was followed by a few curse words and some shuffling before the door opened.
much to your dismay, you were met with a bare chested lorenzo, wearing nothing but a pair of trousers which loosely hung around his hips. his hair was wet, and his cheeks were a tinted with a light shade of pink. he had stepped out of the shower merely three minutes before you showed up. you inhaled sharply, swallowing the sound of surprise that almost escaped you and feeling your face heat up. his eyes went wide, given that he was taken aback much like yourself. you were the last person he was expecting to find on the other side of the door.
"hi." he greeted awkwardly, pulling his trousers up a bit as if it would help. you opened your mouth to speak, then closed it. opened it, before closing it again. you were pretty sure you resembled a damn fish. whatever was happening to you, you did not like it one bit.
"i- you- we- ithinkthisisyours." you finally spluttered, slamming the book into his chest. his hand touched yours momentarily when he grabbed it so that it wouldn't drop onto your feet. you felt lightheaded.
lorenzo was kind of freaking out, but only kind of, not even bothering to look at what you had given him at first. he was a little too busy staring at your blushing face, wondering what the hell was going on and why his heart was in his throat all of a sudden, "are you alright?" he queried, concerned.
"i am perfectly fine." that was a lie.
"ah," he nodded, then eyed the piece of literature in his hands shortly as he slowly figured what it was, "oh! thank you."
you laughed in misery, "okay!" before shutting the door in your own face. you tripped and almost fell down the stairs as you ran, still flushed and your heart beating in a way that you found a little too unusual to push away.
you received a few judgemental glares from the students you had run past. the question marks were practically visible above their heads. you were too busy going hysterical to sneer at them for staring. you burst through the door of your dorm, breathless and blushing, "what the fuck?"
somewhere back inside the dungeons, a confused lorenzo turned to face his friends, still holding the book you had given to him. he had no idea what on earth happened, or why you reacted the way you did, or why he, deep down, found it more adorable than he'd like to admit. he groaned, falling face-first onto his bed. what the fuck, indeed. christmas holidays never looked more promising.
and oh how you regretted waiting for them with so much anticipation. you were supposed to get a break. from books, assignments, essays, whatever lorenzo was doing to you. hogwarts was supposed to be all yours. you weren't heading home that year. it was your parents' twentieth anniversary, so there was no point in going back, considering that you wouldn't see them (you didn't exactly have friends in your hometown either). they'd be having the time of their lives in the alps, and you'd be regretting every decision you had made up until that point.
not only because you were already bored out of your mind waiting for your friends to return, but because you saw lorenzo sitting at the slytherin table when you walked into the great hall on christmas eve. the image of him opening the door two weeks prior flashed through your mind. it happened often, in the most inconvenient situations too. you were hoping you didn't look too flushed.
"what are you doing here?" he questioned in amusement once you trotted over to him, an equally puzzled expression on your face. "i could ask you the same thing."
"all in good time." he cleared his throat, awkward. it was weird, but you didn't think much of it just yet. instead you sighed, taking a quick look around, and then speaking, "my parents ditched me for a skiing trip."
he snorted, motioning over to the very empty seat beside him. you sat down, no thoughts behind it. he was the only person among the ones who stayed for the holidays who you knew enough to hold a conversation, so it's not like you had better options. besides, that was your chance to see if there was more to his sudden change in behaviour. you were unnerved at the idea of even having the desire to do such a thing.
"what's your excuse?" you reached over his arm to grab a piece of toast, as well as some jam and chocolate spread.
"parents as well." you didn't miss the way he shifted uncomfortably. you put down your knife and propped your arms on the table, eyeing him expectantly. he held back shortly, and you couldn't blame him. who were you to think that he'd trust you with a possible family issue?
"i was told that i'm a disappointment and i'm not allowed home until i get my grades in tact." he stabbed the bacon in his plate aggressively, not looking at you. your jaw dropped in shock.
"in tact?" you uttered in disbelief. it was practically common knowledge that lorenzo exceeded you in a lot of subjects, a little more than half of them actually, so in your mind, this shouldn't have even been a problem. he was one of the top students. everybody knew that. your parents expected you to do well too, but they weren't that pushy or strict. yeah, receiving a howler for momentarily falling behind in october was aggravating, but nothing that you couldn't bear. lorenzo's, however, were crossing a line.
he hummed, picking at his food, "don't say anything." he sighed, it almost sounded like a plea. he couldn't just ask you for comfort, or ask of you to understand. faux sympathy was the last thing he needed.
"no, it's just–" you chewed on the inside of your cheek and picked up your knife again, spreading some jam over the piece of toast you grabbed previously, "you're not a disappointment, that's bullshit." you bit into the crunchy bread, chewing it slowly, a sour expression on your face. lorenzo went a bit red, stumbling over his words before getting out a clumsy i know, followed by a hesitant thanks anyway.
you said nothing for the remaining few minutes of breakfast, just eating in silence while other students chatted in background. when you were exiting the great hall together to return to your respective dorms, you made eye contact with mcgonagall for a brief moment. she offered you a proud smile, yet with a hint of mischief behind it. you had never been more confused.
you spent the first half of christmas day alone in the gryffindor common room, reading some trashy muggle romance novel you found under hermione's bed a couple of nights before. it was one of the worst books you had ever picked up, but there was something so annoyingly addicting about it that you just couldn't give it up. it left you feeling empty and lonely, and with a strong desire to fling yourself straight into the depths of the black lake.
"christ, l/n, why do you look so sullen?" you shut your eyes, exhaling through your nose. just what you needed. you weren't even gonna question lorenzo was doing there. you had a clue.
"you don't wanna know." you tossed the book across the room, internally celebrating when he decided not to investigate further.
he made a face, "merry christmas?"
"likewise." you replied blandly. when you didn't tell him to get lost, he jumped onto the sofa, getting comfortable next to you. he didn't look all too happy either.
you sat there for good twenty minutes, staring at the fire like your entire worlds were crumbling in front of your eyes. it didn't occur to the either of you how awful it would feel to spend christmas all alone for the first time. no presents, no childhood foods, no hugs from mum in the morning. you even missed your spoiled cousins who would nag you to play with them each time you visited their house on boxing day.
it fucking sucked, but god, at least lorenzo was there. you'd push aside everything that happened between you in the previous years just for a twinge of affection. something came over you, and you lowered your head onto his shoulder, almost sighing in relief when he didn't shove you away. he scooted closer and rested his head on top of yours, not speaking.
from that moment onward, you saw each other every day. he'd show up at your dorm at random moments and you'd show up at his at even worse ones. you'd take walks in the snow together and come back with soaking wet clothes and red noses. you'd smoke in the courtyard before bed after making sure the coast was clear. you'd go to hogsmeade and fight over who was gonna pay for the butterbeer until you came up with a nonsensical compromise. you'd sneak out at night to steal books from the restricted section of the library and then read them under covers in the slytherin dorms. you'd sometimes fall asleep next to each other and then act like nothing happened in the morning.
***
you expected it all to fade to nothing once everybody else came back to hogwarts, but then it didn't. you still took walks in the snow and argued over butterbeer and snuck out after midnight (and had to clean several toilets after getting caught almost every time). he still helped you with arithmancy without asking for anything in return, and you'd sometimes kiss him on the cheek if you were in a good mood. you thrived off of the expressions that would paint his face whenever you did that.
but with the return of other students also came whispers and rumours, following you around like shadows. you ignored them tactfully, not wanting to give anybody the satisfaction of confirming that their silly theories may have been right all along. especially not hermione. she wouldn't let you forget that until you perished. she'd probably leave a note on your grave too, so you'd have that humiliating reminder haunting you in the afterlife.
"i thought you two hated each other." mattheo deadpanned one evening after lorenzo had brought you to the slytherin common room, straight into the damn snake pit. you were squashed together on the sofa, a large book splayed open across your laps, not getting read. it was one of the stolen ones. all of his friends were there, watching you like hawks.
"we do." you responded nonchalantly, taking the cigarette that lorenzo handed you. you took a long drag before putting it back between his lips.
"then why do you spend so much time together?" draco was very obviously judging you. he of all people should have understood. lorenzo rolled his eyes.
"you are in no place to talk, mister i hate potter but snog him in my off time." blaise took your side, bless his soul, and tossed theodore's shoe in his direction. shutting draco up was easier than you would have thought.
"no, but why?" mattheo repeated draco's question, propping his chin up into his palm and observing you curiously.
"maybe, they're– wait, what do you call that?" theodore leaned into pansy, hoping she had an answer.
"masochists?" she replied casually and lit a cigarette herself.
you choked on your spit. lorenzo almost burnt a hole in the sofa. but then pansy brushed her friend off, staring at the two of you with a mischievous grin, "not really, i think they're just bad liars."
and she was so bloody right. hate was the last thing that could be used to describe your relationship. third year you's biggest nightmare was a better label for it, given that you couldn't even be in the same room as him without trying to turn him into something nasty.
present day you was having a difficult time stopping herself from trying to kiss him whenever he was in her presence. it was that fucking frustrating. you couldn't believe yourself. lorenzo was facing the same struggles, and you couldn't tell if he was worsening or subduing the tension by randomly touching you. not like you minded, you were loving it all and stopped bothering with trying to hide it from him. your ego may have been large, but your crush on him ended up being bigger.
potions class was usually the height of it all, although it wasn't the only period during which you got to sit next to your favourite rival. mcgonagall was was thriving, unlike snape, who simply could not get used to the positive energy surrounding you, or the way you were together each time he crossed your paths. seeing pure fear flash through his eyes at the beginning of every class was hilarious.
when lorenzo arrived, you felt yourself starting to smile and tried to push it away with the most unsettling thoughts you could muster. it did nothing. he sat down with a dramatic groan, and immediately started ranting about some minor issue he had run into that morning. he did that a lot. this time it was about his favourite pair of socks going missing. you sucked in practically everything he said, chuckled at the random curses, noticed every breath of frustration he released as he was rummaging through his bag. you didn't realise you were staring. lorenzo did, but he didn't comment on it. he liked when you were looking at him.
you failed to regsiter that the lesson officially began, but not much was happening, really. snape was telling you about felix felicis and how insanely difficult it was to make, while you were required to write down the most useful bits of the information he was giving out. when he finally sat down after assigning you to read an overly long passage, lorenzo shifted closer to you. you eyed him, puzzled.
"would you kill me if i asked you for a favour?" you focused half of your attention on the writing, half on him.
"depends what the favour is." you shrugged. he put his arm over the text to prevent you from reading. he wanted you to look at him. he had always wanted you to look at him. from the very moment your fued set off, it was one of those little annoying things that made your hatred for him stronger. not anymore, but it was still infuriating in its own way. you gave him your full attention. he may have seen some sparks fly. you had each other wrapped around your little fingers without even realising it.
he shifted even closer to you so that you could hear him better, considering that he had to whisper, "can you come to hogsmeade with me today?" his breath fanned over your ear as he spoke. you didn't respond, so he continued, "none of my friends want to and it would be stupid if i went alone. you do kind of owe me." ah, yes. for that time he saved you from detention after slughorn caught you two smoking in the astronomy tower. you shot him with an annoyed look. you both knew it was exaggerated and what your answer would be, yet you still played around with it. that's the way things went. he smirked. bitch.
"fine." he was so smug about it, you could choke him and snog him at the same time. he got his arm away from your textbook, but didn't retrieve his chair. you were squeezed next to one another despite having more than enough space. your arms were touching, and so were your legs beneath the table. you moved not a muscle, and neither did he. you had grown to like having him sit so close to you. it made you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, helping you ignore the freezing winter air and the thick layer of snow covering the ground outside.
you met him in the courtyard after a quick change of clothing following the end of your classes for that week. when hermione asked you where you were heading and why you won't be staying in the common room with the rest of your friends, you told a half truth. that you were heading to hogsmeade, but then bolted out the door before she was able to ask with whom. she would guess either way.
"i forgot to ask you why we were doing this in the first place." you spoke as you left the school grounds, your hands shoved into your pockets and your face hidden inside of your fluffy scarf. you were a little cold. lorenzo was too, his nose was already going red. it was an adorable sight to see, but you weren't dumb enough to say that out loud.
"i wanna pick up a few poetry books." you bit your tongue, trying not to laugh at him.
"didn't know you could read." you snickered, it was stronger than you.
"you're so original," he mocked, "they're not for me. pansy's birthday's coming up so i figured i should get her something."
"oh." the disappointment in your tone was obvious.
all of your willingness to go with him left you in an instant. his presence was more irritating than ever. he furrowed his eyebrows as he watched you chew on the inside of your cheek, wondering if he said something wrong. again... or not. lorenzo was smarter than that.
"what, are you jealous?" he nudged you, teasing. yes. you hated yourself just a tiny bit for that, "no," you scoffed, "in your dreams, berkshire."
"we both know you can't fool me." he kept the act going. you gave him a shove, making him stumble. he almost tripped and fell in a pile of snow. it was very funny. he tried to get back at you, but you slipped out of his reach, laughing when he began chasing you.
spending time with him was like a getaway from all the things that drove you mad, even though he sometimes excelled at that. he became a friend you didn't know you needed and a friend you were pretty sure you were catching some major feelings for.
you entered the bookstore as your unplanned snowball fight came to an end, its warmth immediately engulfing you. after being in the cold for longer than intended, it was just what you desired. you stuck with lorenzo for the first few minutes, helping him out and leading him away from the large isle of erotic novels he accidentally found himself in. people were looking at you weird, especially your schoolmates, so you stepped away from the crowded bits of the shop and decided to check out different sections.
a certain book had caught your eye – its contents intrigued you, but the price did something opposite. you put it back on the shelf without second guessing yourself. you hadn't brought any money with you. you continued roaming through the different isles, browsing through various books while you waited for lorenzo to finish. you lost sight of him for a few minutes, too busy debating whether to make him come back with you here some other time so you could purchase whatever your heart desired.
for the time being, you'd have to leave the shop with empty hands. lorenzo was luckier and ended up getting five poetry books which all seemed to be written by the same author, except for one. he handed you the odd one out. you opened your mouth, ready to complain about your fingers being cold and not wanting to carry it. slowly, you realised what it was. your jaw dropped a little.
he had seen you looking at it ever so longingly when he went to check up on you after realising you had gone off on your own. he picked it up without hesitation. you were too stunned to thank him, too stunned to say anything, for the matter. but he wasn't exactly expecting a thank you. he was just happy that you liked it, grinning when you blushed and struggled to keep it cool.
"you shouldn't have done that." you chastised. those were the only words you could muster. he rolled his eyes, "deal with it."
you punched his shoulder. he didn't even flinch, "you're welcome."
when he threatened to ruin your life when you were twelve years old, this wasn't how you thought it would happen.
"i'm gonna kill you." you weren't exactly addressing him, more like talking to yourself.
"you're still on about that?" he huffed, pretending to be bored.
"lorenzo!" you groaned, he chuckled, "i love you too." your eyes almost popped out of their sockets. his weird confession seemed unserious, but your heart still fluttered. little did you know that he wasn't as oblivious as you imagined.
he was positively glowing at the reactions he was getting from you. his tiny year five crush on you had blossomed into something stronger after that moment at the lake a couple of months prior, and at last, the possibility of you feeling the same wasn't looking so small. if only you saw through his actions. all those offers of help, and his complete dismissal of your rivarly, and his clinginess, and how he stuck to you like glue whenever he got the opportunity.
your walk back to the castle surprisingly wasn't silent. you were chatting quietly, snickering amongst yourselves. your shoulders brushed occasionally, and so did your hands, and you thought your heart might burst. you shivered as the wind got stronger, pressing yourself a little closer to him.
"you okay?"
"huh?" you didn't register what he said at first, "oh, yes. just a little cold, that's all." you explained, not taking your eyes away from the pathway you were pacing across.
"let's hurry up, then." he took a hold of your hand, swiftly leading you back to the castle. you were so, royally fucked. you clutched onto the poetry book tightly, focused on regulating your breathing. your entire face was on fire, your breaths ragged, heart beating rapidly against your ribcage.
four days later, you caught a terrible cold after accidentally falling asleep by the window while you were reading. hermione said that she expected better from you. she was fantastic help. you were pretty sure you were dying. your limbs hurt. your head was throbbing. your sinuses were clogged. your throat felt like someone had stuck a knife into it. but did you skip any lessons because of it or at least visit madam pomfrey to see if she could do anything? no, you weren't that helpless. you'd deal with it on your own.
or try to, at least. you stumbled into class resembling a zombie, eager to sit down and hopefully not do much work for the day. you placed your arms on the desk, laying your head into them and shutting your eyes. you opened them only a few seconds later when lorenzo shifted next to you. you were met with his worried face, just a couple of centimeters away from yours. when you didn't budge, he touched your cheek with the back of his hand, frowning.
"you're burning up." he kept his voice down, but his tone was giving away the fact that your state concerned him greatly. you waved a dismissive hand, closing your eyes again. he poked you to make you look at him.
"have you went to madam pomfrey?" he questioned. you shook your head. if looks could kill, his probably would have.
"i'll go later." you reassured him poorly, just to get him to stop. the last thing you needed was getting all flustered and emotional because he was showing more interest in taking care of you than anybody else in your circle of friends.
"your later usually means never," he was right. you hated that. you grunted, hiding your reddening face. that was both from the fever and from him, "hey." he threw his arm around you when he didn't get a resonse. you leaned into his touch faster than you thought you would, just searching for any sort of warmth there was.
other students were giggling, but he couldn't care less, "y/n."
you lifted your head again, and then allowed it to fall against his shoulder. mcgonagall stepped through the classroom door shortly after that, her mouth dropping a little when she saw the position you were in. she was gonna scold you for displaying your affection so publicly, but lorenzo quickly explained the situation, and before you were able to protest, she shooed the both of you outside.
he immediately intertwined your fingers, walking at a slower pace than usual, not wanting to tire you more. as annoyed as that made you, you didn't pull your hand away, and instead kept your body close to his. he was muttering something, scolding you for being so dismissive and not getting this fixed right away. you were too exhausted to argue, but he was right anyway.
you inhaled sharply as your headache increased in intensity, latching onto his arm and stopping in your tracks. you shut you eyes, thinking it would help and ease it a bit. you felt him move to stand in front of you. his forehead fell against yours and his hands cupped your cheeks gently. you held onto him, taking a few deep breaths through your nose. his thumbs grazed over your skin ever so slightly, as if that his was his way of trying to soothe you.
eventually, your eyes fluttered open, but neither of you let the other go. lorenzo broke the silence between you, "you're so bloody stubborn."
"you're one to talk." you chuckled dryly, hugging him a bit tighter. he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, waiting for you to give him a sign that you were ready to walk again. when you nodded, he took your hand again, leading you to the hospital wing.
madam pomfrey had you going back to normal with a simple flick of her wand after a tiny scolding, and then she pinched lorenzo's cheek and called him a "good boy" for being so caring. the unexpected praise had his eyes going wide and he was blushing madly – you were never gonna let him forget that one.
she instructed you to come back if the cold returned, but she was addressing lorenzo more than she was you. a smart move on her part, the older woman knew you and your headstrong ways well enough. she ushered you out only after she made sure were in perfect shape to head back to class, though you couldn't do it without rubbing her comment into lorenzo face until he turned completely red again. he had to tickle you to get you to stop and you caused a bit of a commotion in the silent corridors, but that didn't matter. you returned to the transfiguration classroom with your pinkies intertwined, all eyes on you. you two really needed to talk.
and what are the odds of him being caring enough to check up on you later that day. he knew he wouldn't find you in your dorm, or the common room, or the library, or the astronomy tower. instead, he headed to the only other place on his mind, where the two of you often hung out on nights when neither of you could sleep.
you were sat on one of the stone walls in the courtyard, a cigarette in your hand, kind of forgotten. you hadn't noticed that it was burning out, or the occasional ash landing on your clothes. your thoughts were going places, recalling the many events that occured during the past few months, and what on earth you were going to do about your feelings. you could hide them from your friends for some time, but not from lorenzo. you blew out a frustrated breath, pinching the bridge of your nose. being straightforward with that idiot was always easy. you never had trouble with telling him exactly what you meant.
the fact that you were anxious about it now was the most maddening thing in the world.
"what a depressing sight." you flinched, whipping your head in lorenzo's direction almost instantly. you couldn't tell if that was luck or misfortune. you snorted, rolling your eyes and offering him the remainder of your cigarette. he gladly took it, joining you in silence.
"why are you here?" you questioned.
"came to check up on you." he replied.
"i can take care of myself just fine." you patted his back. he seemed unphased. of course he was, he knew he'd win that argument.
you glimpsed up at the sky shortly. it was snowing just a little bit. you turned to lorenzo, a pleading expression on your face, "walk with me?"
he nodded, tossing the cigarette butt into the snow. you left the school grounds once again knowing that you wouldn't make it back before curfew, but that wasn't something the either of you dwelled on very much. there were more important things to get worried about.
it was obvious that you kept dodging the subject, settling for talking about things so insignificant that you would probably tell somebody to shut up if they brought them up in conversation on a normal day. being ballsy wasn't your thing anymore, as it seemed.
as cowardly as you felt, the sore winner in you wasn't letting you back down. a long internal debate and a silent minute of self-deprecation was what it took to make you finally speak your mind... to an extent, "have you ever felt incredibly guilty about being wrong about someone?"
lorenzo stared at you as if you were insane. it was a little too early on in the conversation for him to start connecting the dots. his street-smarts were sometimes lacking.
"you sure your cold didn't come back?" he pressed his hand against your forehead. you let out a startled laugh, observing his questioning face.
"what?" you spluttered, shoving your hands further into your pockets. the skeptical look in his eyes was making you nervous.
"you're admitting that you were wrong about something?" he sounded unconvinced, but there was a hint of jest in his voice.
you bit your tongue, clearing your throat awkwardly, "yes." you breathed out. he nodded, a way to tell you to go on. he was definitely interested. you were beginning to suspect that he already knew what you were gonna say.
"i mean," you grunted, cursing quietly, "you know when you spend years convinced that somebody is an awful person and claiming you hate their guts but then end up realising that they aren't nearly as terrible as you thought when you get to know them properly?" you explained frustratedly, resisting the temptation to kick the snow piling at your feet.
his mouth fell open in surprise for a moment, but he quickly shut it, running a hand through his hair, "uh, yeah, actually." he uttered nervously, scanning your face for any sign of humour. but you weren't playing around, and certainly not lying. he had been around you enough to be able to tell when you were being truthful.
you gave him a brief nod, looking everywhere but at him. you barely noticed that your hands were shaking. you contined walking on, not saying a single thing. if he were to tell you that he could hear your heart beating, you wouldn't even have the time to act surprised.
"i have to tell you something." he stopped in his tracks, grabbing your elbow in order to make your steps halt. you faced him, looking down at your feet, waiting for him to drop the bomb. he chewed on his lip anxiously, running a hand through his hair.
"i, um," he was struggling, not exactly knowing how to begin. how to formulate that sentence, even. he wished he could just show you. he reached to take your hand, and you let him, standing there motionless.
it was his turn to panic, "i- fuck." he met your gaze. you knew that look. you knew that bloody look he gave you when you were both thinking the same thing. two years prior it would have been something along the lines of i want to kill you. but it had turned into something that was a lot closer to i want to kiss you. you wanted to fucking cry.
you nodded, breathing out and blinking your tears away. he almost sighed in relief, cupping your cheeks, and that's when your lips pressed against the last pair of lips you thought you'd ever be kissing.
you reached up to touch his face – that pretty face you once hated the sight of, but then couldn't get enough of. you pulled back only for a moment, only to connect again, neither letting the other go. your kisses were unhurried, soft, and loving, despite months upon months of pining, despite the years of pent up hate that was, at the end of day, sort of bound to blossom into love.
at the end of your seventh year, when you were leaving hogwarts hand in hand, mcgonagall stopped you on the way out. it was only then that she told you what had actually happened that gloomy day october, the one that practically sealed your fates for eternity. the overflow of different emotions was too strong for you to have time to act shocked, and you pulled the woman into a big hug, thanking her with teary eyes. for putting up with you for so many years, and for managing to do the unimaginable.
#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x reader#lorenzo berkshire x you#lorenzo berkshire imagine#louis partridge#louis partridge x reader#louis partridge imagine#theodore nott#draco malfoy#mattheo riddle#blaise zabini#pansy parkinson#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader
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Paring: Toru Oikawa x female reader
Requested: no
Genre: smut, female receiving
Warning(s): cunnilingus, figuring, degradation
Summary: Toru eating out his freeuse slut aka you
Word count: 743
Other works
Beta reader: none
disclaimer: this is my first time writing smut, so dont expect it to be stellar (do lemme know if it was good or not)
a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask. Plus, if you loved it enough don't forget to reblog, it will help me reach a larger audience.
[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]
-----------------------smut under the cut--------------------------
Oikawa was your pretty cute roommate. You both had met during your college days and as dorm partners and had bonded over time. Now, three years after finishing, you both are still going strong as roomies.
He has settled into his big-boy job of playing volleyball full-time, and you have the most boring nine-to-five ever. Although the big-time celebrity he is, plus the wealth that is flowing into his bank, says he is a richie rich dude, but the boy still refuses to move out, and who are you to say otherwise?
Now, the refusal to move has some ulterior motives, but it's not like you were not aware of that. The man is obsessed with you, more like your pussy, so much so that he refuses to let you have a moment of peace in the house when you both are alone.
The fact that neither of you are in a relationship helps a lot in contributing to it, not like a simple boyfriend would stop the man from bending you over in the most obnoxious place and ramming his cock into you, but surely it would create a bit of hindrance, and no one likes those.
To put it in the most simplest from, you are his personal free-use slut; that’s what you are. You could deny it, but you know it as well as he does, that you'd bend in the middle of a crowded street if he wanted you to.
Not like he actually wanted that to happen, but you get the point. So, as a general rule in the house, it is forbidden for you to wear panties or a bra, not like you liked to do so anyways. He liked having access to your pussy at all times of the day so that he could always take you anywhere and everywhere.
Just like this time, when he came back from the gym all sweaty and thirsty, for your pussy.
Walking into the house, he looks around for you only to find you on the balcony tending to those basil plants you have started growing a few months ago. Leaving his gym bag on the couch, he strides over to you and without a single word, he pushes you towards the railing of the balcony and, bending down, he settles himself between your legs.
“Been thinking about you all day,” he says from between your legs and without letting you answer, he pulls down your shorts to get the view of your glistening pussy, with its puffy lips.
“Did you play with yourself while I was away?” he asks, looking at you, only for you to let out a flustered whine.
“I just edged myself, Toru, I couldn’t cum,” you say, thoroughly flustered.
“Dumb whore can’t even make herself cum without my cock, that’s what you needed, wasn’t it?” he laughs as you vigorously nod.
Without wasting another moment, he dives into your pussy, licking a long stripe of it and sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. With each and every lick it becomes even harder for you to keep your voice lower, eventually your screams pierce through the quite evening, making sure to let all the pedestrians know who is eating you out so well.
Latching his face further into your heat, he adds two fingers inside you and immediately starts curling them. Your essence dripping onto his tongue is like heaven, sweeter than any candy he could ever have.
While letting out lewd breathy moans, you grip his hair hard as he keeps abusing your cunt.
“To-toru, ahh-”
“Yes, scream my name, slut, let the world know who makes you go all dumb over his tongue,” he groans.
“Toru, I’m gonna-”
Before you could complete your sentence, the waves of pleasure hit you harder than anything else. With a loud scream of his name, you come all over his face and like a starved man, he drinks you up till the last drop of your cum is gone and you are shaking with overstimulation.
Emerging from between your thighs, he gives your pussy a quick slap, saying, “I'm gonna go take a shower, I expect you to be naked on your knees beside my bed, slut.”
With that, he is out, leaving you to shakily walk into the house towards his bedroom, because what Toru wants he gets, and you are no one to deny him the pleasure he so politely asked you for.
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a/n: again if you have read till the end do tell me how you liked it, and thanks for reading.
#smut#oikawa toru#haikyu smut#anime and manga#amine smut#haikyu x reader#oikawa tooru#haikyuu#toru oikawa smut#haikyu x you#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu fanfic#hq x reader#hq smut#hq oikawa#hq oneshot#oikawa haikyu!!#haikyuu x reader#oikawa haikyu#haikyu!!#haikyu oikawa#haikyuu smut#haikyu!! smut#haikyu x y/n#oikawa x y/n#aged up haikyu
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⋆｡˚. five more minutes - itoshi sae
• sfw
• notes: another thing stolen from my wattpad fics (´･ᴗ･`) ooc sae but it’s ok cuz i know he’s real sweet in secret. not proofread!!
• (more) notes: i’ve been writing some of the requests i’ve been getting but it takes me a little bit to get motivation for it. i always love getting requests so it gives me more to think about so please, if you want, send requests and i’ll try my best to get to them. p.s: any requests sent about rin will likely get priority since he’s my favorite so expect rin requests to come quicker than others (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡
"you okay..?" sae asked softly from behind you, gently gliding the wash cloth over your thigh and all the way up to your shoulder. a soft sigh sounded from you as you nodded, leaning your head back against his chest as you closed your eyes.
your boyfriend smiled slightly to himself, bringing the warm water in his hands to fall against your skin and wash off the soap from the cloth. "feeling good, hm?"
"yeah.. feels so good, sae. 'm gonna fall asleep.."
this time, sae allowed himself to laugh softly, moving his head down to gently kiss the side of your neck. "we have to get out in a bit.. so try not to, okay?"
a soft whine fell passed your lips but you still nodded. "what time is it?" you asked, slightly turning your head so you could look back at sae. "it's almost nine" sae spoke lowly into your ear, making you shiver. "you ready to get out now?"
"not yet.." you sighed softly, looking up at sae as he looked down at you. "how about five more minutes?"
thinking for a few seconds, sae gave in and nodded. "only five minutes. as soon as that time is up, we're getting out"
you nodded and looked forward again, relaxing in sae's hold as he glided his fingertips up and down your thigh. the feeling was familiar again after the long months of going without his warm touches. it no longer felt foreign like how it did the first night you slept in sae's arms again.
something about being skin to skin with sae felt so natural. as if this was how you were meant to be and no other way.
"come on," sae spoke softly in your ear. "it's time to get out now"
a small whine sounded from you as you forced yourself to lean forward, allowing sae to get out of the bath first. your eyes followed his muscular figure as he moved to grab his towel, quickly drying himself off before pulling on his boxers and making his way towards you with a warm towel in his hands,
sae offered you a soft look before holding his hand out for you to take. "come on, then"
with a tired whine, you clung onto your boyfriend as he wrapped you in your towel, gently pushing the hair from your face as he smiled down at you. "quit with the whining already.." a small kiss was pressed to your forehead, making you slightly blush.
"sae..?" your voice was almost like a whisper so only sae could hear, even if no one else was around. sae hummed a reply, drying you off and rubbing his hands up and down your sides as he walked you to his room. "im really tired"
sae hummed once again, slowly taking the towel away from your body and allowing you to use whatever moisturizer you used while he went to grab some clothes for you.
by the time he came back, you were wrapped back in your towel and shivering slightly. the tip of your nose was slowly becoming red, making sae's chest tighten slightly. with a small smile, sae kissed your nose before taking your towel off of you, despite your low whine and failed efforts at keeping the towel wrapped around you.
"up" sae muttered softly, his eyebrows pinching slightly as he brought one of his sweatshirts over your head, being careful when helping put your arms through the sleeves. "you okay..?" he asked, looking down at you before gently taking your hand and kissing your slightly bruised wrist. when you nodded, sae knelt down, holding onto your calf as you lifted your leg so he could help put your panties on you. he repeated with the other side and gently slid the fabric up your legs, moving to kiss the bruising on your thighs before standing up again.
immediately, you fell into his chest with a soft huff and wrapped your arms around his torso. "im tired, sae.."
your boyfriend looked down at you, moving his hand to rest on the top of your head. "you've said that a million times already," you pressed even closer to him at his words. "sound like a stupid broken record"
"you didn't have to say stupid," as you spoke, your cheek was pressed against sae's body so your speech sounded slightly slurred. "you just added that to be mean.." you muttered and moved your head to look up at sae, finding that he was already gazing down at you. a small blush adorned your cheeks once your eyes met, making sae's face warm in adoration for you. it took sae longer to think of a response than normal because of how infatuated he was with your love sick gaze, but still responded in a way he always does.
"or maybe you are stupid," he spoke, looking away from you when you pouted, not wanting to fall for your saddened look and apologize. he knew your sadness was fake anyway.
when you stayed silent, sae finally looked down at you. your gaze was no longer on him, instead looking at the wall with your cheek pressed against him again. for a second, he thought he actually upset you, making his heart skip a beat before noticing that your eyes were closed.
sae scoffed to himself once he realized you were snoring softly, letting out steady breaths as your eyes stayed shut. he almost felt stupid for worrying so quickly the way he did. it made him realize just how much he cared about you. how much he loved you. the thought nearly made him nauseous, forgetting just how much he could truly care about another person from being away from you for so long.
he stared down at you for a few more minutes, just allowing himself to revel in your beauty and the sight of your dewy skin after the bath the two of you shared with each other. after another few seconds, sae was careful in picking you up, softly shushing you and rocking you slightly when you stirred awake.
once you were settled on his bed with the covers over you so that you were no longer shivering, sae sat beside you, caressing your face as he stared down at you. it was never uncommon for sae to stare at you, studying your features, while you slept. he didn't like to do it when you were awake or when you'd be able to catch him. he could never hide the blush that dusted his cheeks whenever you smiled shyly at him after noticing his staring.
its not like he wanted you to know how much he adored you. not yet at least. he felt that he would never be ready to let you know the full extent of his love for you. and even if he would be able to let you completely into his life, it definitely wasn't any time soon.
so, for now, he was more than happy to stay up way passed when he normally would before going to sleep so he could memorize all of your features and small details about you - like the way your hair perfectly framed your face, and the way you snored softly in your sleep - in secret to give him a peace of mind when he missed you when you were gone from him again.
#bllk#blue lock#blue lock x reader#bllk headcanons#itoshi sae x reader#sae itoshi x reader#bllk x reader#itoshi sae fluff#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#sae itoshi fluff
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After All this Time | Tommy Shelby & Daughter!Reader
Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby & daughter!reader
Summary: Sometimes there's no forgetting what's been done in the past.
Warnings: broken family/father-daughter relationship
Word Count: 1297
A/N: this one was shorter than usual, but I still feel like the content of it speaks volumes. What needed to be said within it was said and, in a way, it was honestly reflective for me to write. Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future stories like this one!
(Y/N) (Y/L/N) lived nearly her entire life without knowing her father. Her mother gave birth to her in 1921, just over nine months after the night that she met Tommy Shelby.
The then gangster and budding businessman was looking for someone to fill the void caused inside of him by a woman who left him for America. (Y/N)'s mother filled that void and entered into a relationship with him. (Y/N) barely knew her father though.
She was young and didn't know much of what was going on around her. She did remember the look on her mother's face when Tommy told her that he was leaving her though...leaving both her and their daughter because the woman that had previously gone away was now back and ready to throw herself into his arms.
And so (Y/N) grew up without a father. She used her mother's maiden name because the Shelby name wasn't allowed in their household. (Y/N) didn't know otherwise...her mother changed it back the day after he left, which happened when (Y/N) was just over a year old.
When she asked about her father, (Y/N)'s mother only told her that he left because he was enamored by the life of luxury that was starting to surround him and that they didn't fit into it.
And then one day nearly thirteen years later, he showed up on her doorstep. "Hello, sir, can I help you?" (Y/N) asked, initially not knowing who this man was.
"Yes...is this Farrah (Y/L/N)'s house?" he asked. (Y/N) nodded her head before telling him that she'd go and get her mother. "No," he stopped her, making her turn around again. "I came here because I wanted to speak to you. You're (Y/N), correct?"
"I am," (Y/N) nodded her head, becoming concerned about this man's motives.
"I'm your father, (Y/N)," he told her, making the young girl's jaw drop.
"No...no, you're not," she immediately stammered out in disbelief, blinking a few times, wondering if he would disappear when she stopped. But he didn't. He was still very clearly in front of her.
"I am, love," he insisted, nodding his head slowly in hopes that he'd catch on.
"Where have you been all these years?" (Y/N) asked, her voice raw and deliberate. Her words ripped Tommy's heart right from his chest.
"I...I've been busy," he stammered out, a pathetic response, really, but it was all he could muster.
"Too busy to come and see your own daughter?" the girl's voice still held that raw tone. It made Tommy think back to the time that he and his brothers told Ada that they were going off to fight. (Y/N) sounded the exact same way.
"I..." he tried to respond, but the words died in his throat.
That didn't bother (Y/N) though, because she had something thought up already. "My mum said it was because we didn't fit into the life of luxury that you were mapping out for yourself."
"That's not true," Tommy shook his head, a frown forming on his face. Why would her mother say something of the sort?
"Then why did you leave? Huh?" (Y/N) raised her eyebrows as she posed her question, "and why have you come back here all of a sudden?"
Tommy still didn't know how to respond to her first question, because he couldn't quite remember where his head was at back then. He just remembered Grace coming back into his picture and he was blinded by the hope of a life with her. Somewhere along the way, (Y/N) and her mum fell to the wayside...the passion died away. So he didn't comment on her first question. Instead, he answered her second one. "I wanted to come see you...to come make amends," he told her, a look of hope flooding his features.
(Y/N) took a moment to process his words. Her brain was running at a mile a minute and she was trying hard not to let the pain that had built up over these several years cloud over her judgement. But it was so hard not to. In the end, she didn’t. “It’s too late for that,” she finally told him, choking back her tears as she spoke. “It’s too late for you to come make amends after you’ve essentially ignored me for the majority of my life. I don’t even know you...I didn’t recognize you when I opened the door. How does that make you feel?...”
“Terrible,” Tommy cut in, his response coming out in a low voice.
“How do you think that makes me feel? My mum and I needed you over these years, and you haven’t cared so much as to send a letter or a call. I’ve got nothing from you, and now you want to show up here and make amends? After all of this time?” (Y/N) paused for a moment and tried to control her breathing, with each word she uttered, her heart rate was climbing, and with that came shorter breaths. She also wanted to make sure that she spoke clearly when she uttered her next statement. “What makes you think that you have the right to just waltz back into my life after all of the pain you’ve caused?” her eyes were wide and she was now expecting an answer from him.
Tommy opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to think of words that were worthy enough of responding to the dire monologue that she’d just hit him with. “I...I don’t have the right. I was just hoping that there’d be a chance; a chance that I could get to know you,” he finally said. (Y/N) had to fight back the snort from leaving her lips.
“Well, I’d stop hoping for something that’s never going to happen. I learned that the hard way when I spent thirteen years of my life without a father; wondering just who my dad was. And now you’re here, standing in front of me, and I want nothing to do with you,” her words were like knives to Tommy’s heart, and he took them without pushback. She was justified in saying them. She was allowed to feel this pain; to express it. “I don’t even know your name, and you know what...I don’t want to ever know it. In fact, I don’t want to see you again, ok?” she insisted, her eyes now welling up with tears. This wasn’t what she expected meeting her father to be like, but this was what felt right to her. She’d lived her life this long without him...she didn’t need him for the rest of it.
“Ok,” Tommy responded in a dejected manner, nodding his head before he dropped his gaze to the ground.
“I’d like you to leave now. And please don’t ever come around here again,” she gave him one more demand, which Tommy nodded his head in response to.
“Goodbye, (Y/N),” he said in a voice just above a whisper. The girl said nothing in response and instead shut the door to her house. Letting out a long sigh, she wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and composed herself before walking back into the sitting room.
“Who was at the door, sweetie?” her mother asked once she noticed that her daughter had entered the room.
“No one...just some salesman,” she brushed her mother’s question off before she sat down on the couch and closed her eyes.
It is better if he isn’t in your life, she kept telling herself. After repeating that statement three times, she was ok with it.
Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @mgcllovdrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @sunsetmourners @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick
MASTERLIST
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x daughter!reader#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic
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Hello!! I'd love to see Madara with a single mama. Baby could be hers and the dad died or poofed, or could be her friends passed and in their will they requested her to care for the baby. With Madaras temperament I think a little girl would be so perfect! She'd put flowers in his hair or share her bows and no one dares say A THING about it. Please and thank you!!
As soon as I received this request, I had to write it, because I love Madara's tender side (and having a break from nsfw things is also nice)!🤗💕
This ended up being way longer than I anticipated, I hope you like it!
(Y/N) finally realized the depth of her problems when she held her baby in her arms, the physical proof that things were not going to be easy at all. Of course, she adored her little girl, and after giving birth alone and unaided, without any support, she knew it would be the two of them against the world.
One night of passion and need turned into a lifelong contract with the one she now carries in her arms, and nine months of pregnancy were far from easy. (Y/N) only wanted to feel alive, experience some sort of sensation, and she made the mistake of getting involved with a man who was only interested in the bounty between her legs.
With no clan, no family, and no friends, she went through gestation on her own, until the physical changes in her body would no longer allow her to work. She couldn’t do anything to earn a living, resorting to begging for charity among the wealthy as her only source of income.
Childbirth was devastating and traumatic, full of uncertainty and terror. The pain was overriding, and (Y/N) had to sneak into an abandoned barn in order to give birth indoors. She didn't know if she or the baby would survive, pushing and struggling alone to finally meet the only bit of happiness in her life. After hours of suffering, hearing her daughter's cry gave her back her willpower, and she forgot all her negative thoughts.
It would be difficult, but the two of them would make it together.
(Y/N) found a new motivation in her little ray of sunshine, and fortunately, people were kinder when donating money because of the baby in her arms. For years, she managed to get by, doing her best to find shelter and food.
When her child was five years old, (Y/N) knew things had to change. Her daughter could not grow up on the streets, exposed to any person or factor that would harm her, and the woman became determined to find a permanent destination for them both.
She asked anyone who might be willing to talk to her about possible inexpensive and friendly places to go, and got information about a particular territory. The journey would be long and laborious, a month of walking at least, but as the person who gave her the information related, "Senjus are the most compassionate and empathetic clan in the whole world, if anyone will help you, it will be them."
Ignorant of the war and all the chaos surrounding that particular family, (Y/N) embarked on a journey to find them, praying the legends about the mighty Hashirama were true.
The first weeks passed without any problem, fifteen days of movement where she met people kind enough to give them both a hot meal and a place to spend a few nights. Her little girl resisted the adversities alongside her like a warrior and never stopped smiling. Her attitude helped (Y/N) stay afloat, fighting against life to reach their destination.
The last two weeks of the trip got chaotic, with hints of war along every road they traveled. Near Senju territory, all the houses seemed to be abandoned, and the territory completely destroyed. Trees had been reduced to ashes, residences collapsed, the skies were gray and filled with smoke.
It was a battlefield, and she walked into it without any qualms.
A feeling told her something was wrong, and her daughter refused to walk in those surroundings, demanding to be carried in her arms out of fear. After a few kilometers of walking, she realized she would find no shelter or help there, and decided to retrace her steps.
They would find a more promising route.
A strange sound sings on the horizon, and (Y/N) can see how the heavens turn red. Clouds seem to bleed, as hurricane-force winds wake up unprecedentedly from the ground. The panorama becomes apocalyptic, triggering panic and terror in the two of them. She hugs her little girl and crouches to the ground, trying to hide her face from such brutal and sudden weather.
Two groups of five people each approach from opposite sides, as if they are about to confront each other. A few meters away from her, they run at impossible speeds, and the attack swiftly begins. Fire and water fly everywhere, screams, and metal on metal.
Smoke and debris fly through the sky, landing near where (Y/N) is reduced. She knows they must flee, and her little girl's cries indicate urgency. She has to get them to safety right now, or something terrible could happen.
Quickly scanning her surroundings, she finds no place to hide, the ground crumbling to dust and ruins. Far from any structure that could shelter them and make them go unnoticed, (Y/N) squeezes her daughter tightly, and hopes those men are too intent on their battle to notice them.
She decides to run in the opposite direction of the battle, standing again on shaky legs and holding back tears. There is so much dust in the air it is impossible to see, and she keeps her child's face hidden in her chest for protection. Holding the infant with one arm, she covers her eyes with the other in an attempt to move forward.
While taking her first unsteady steps, there is an embracing heat coming towards them, feeling almost as if about to be burned alive. Everything happens so fast there is no time to react, instinctively acting. Her first impulse is to scream, clutching her little girl tightly and hoping to shield her from whatever might be happening.
An incredible explosion hits just a few meters from where she is standing, and the shockwave sends them both flying backward. In the air, (Y/N) continues to hold her daughter, an inexplicable force helping to keep her close to her. She has a few seconds to calculate how to position her body and be the one to hit the ground, but it never happens.
Before she can slam into anything, two large hands grab her under her legs and shoulder blades, holding them both and pulling them away from the floor. The event is sudden (Y/N) cannot comprehend what is happening, only seeing the face of a man both handsome and terrifying holding them in his arms, preventing them from falling to the ground.
(Y/N) feels the cold armor the man wears against her body, rising and falling with his agitated breathing. Long, frizzy black hair hides half of his face, and upon making eye contact, she is met with an unnaturally red eye.
At that moment, she falls prey to an overwhelming drowsiness, and can only think of her daughter as she falls asleep against her will.
......
"That was close, you know..." A male voice booms against her ears, as (Y/N) tries to gain order and command of her body. All her muscles feel exhausted as if she has gone days without moving. She struggles to open her eyes, but when she does, she finds a cozy room, lit only by candles.
A window indicates it is nighttime, and the mattress under her body feels comfortable and warm. Examining her surroundings, the woman notices she is lying on a large bed, and wearing clothes that are not hers.
"My daughter..." she whispers feebly, trying to sit up and get out of her comfortable rest. "Don't worry, she's fine. Last time I went to see her, Izuna was with her buying candy."
(Y/N) focuses her eyes on that disembodied voice, and is met with a heavenly image. A handsome man with prominent shoulders is sitting against the sliding door of the room, looking out into the starry night and admiring the view. He wears a yukata similar to the one she wears, but much bigger. Long black hair rains down his back, framing his defined jawline.
She might have blushed if finding her girl wasn't a priority, and the stranger seems aware of her urgency. "Izuna!" he shouts into the darkness of the night, and another man extremely similar to him immediately appears. In his arms, he carries the sleeping child, who embraces a bouquet of flowers and a small bag of candy.
"Ah... so she finally woke up. Does this mean our fun evenings are over?" the boy presumably named Izuna asks the sleeping toddler tenderly, as if she would answer. He gives the girl to the mysterious man, and carries her to (Y/N).
Hugging her daughter for the first time in what felt like years, she can't help the tears, kissing her head and remembering those events which brought them here. They both could have died in the middle of that battlefield, but life decided to give them more time.
Well, maybe not life, but that man.
"My name is Madara, and this is my younger brother Izuna... If I hadn't been there to deflect his attack, both of you would be charred right now." The younger man scratches the back of his neck guiltily, and sharing a glance with his older brother, leaves the room, disappearing back into the night.
"Of course, it was not purposeful... the colors you were wearing were easy to mistake for those of the enemy. My apology on behalf of us both." Madara analyses her from his position, arms crossed over his chest and a comprehending look. (Y/N) carefully deposits the small child on the bed, and cuddles her between covers for a peaceful sleep. She tries to get up, but her legs quickly give way under her, too weak to support her weight.
Before hitting the ground, Madara holds her, keeping her against his chest. He carries the woman to where he sat a few seconds ago, and takes a spot next to her. The night is beautiful, and a warm breeze is blowing in the garden, signaling wonderful weather. "Would you mind telling me your name?"
"(Y/N) ... I am (Y/N)." The place is exquisite, and the beautiful room she woke up in is nothing compared to her current view. All the clan's territory can be seen from her position, a million houses lit by fire.
"How long was I asleep...?"(Y/N) asks uncertainly. "About a week. We had to resort to the family healers for keeping you healthy. According to their professional prognosis, I was a bit aggressive with the Genjutsu I used on you."
"Gen...justu?" trying to understand the words and the situation, (Y/N) asks almost to herself, "I confirm you are not familiar with warfare in this territory...I assume you must have traveled from afar. What brought you here?"
"The legend about a wonderful clan and the promise of a good life..." There are tears in her eyes still, mentally going over all the troubles and the terrible experiences lived.
"Hm... that must be regarding Hashirama... Well, (Y/N), we may not be the Senjus, but life here is delightful and comfortable. You are invited to stay as long as you wish... Personally, I recommend not leaving anytime soon, Izuna is too fond of that child to allow it."
Madara stands and smiles at her, before disappearing into the darkness of the night like his younger brother.
........
It's been months since their accidental arrival at the Uchiha compound, but as Madara commented on their first night, life here is nice and beautiful.
(Y/N) found a stable place to live, friends to share with, and a promising future for her little girl. The child begged her mother to allow Izuna to train her, and she started developing in the ninja arts.
She learned a lot about the clan and the family, about their standards and ways of living. Madara did not disclose being the leader of it until a few weeks after she awoke, trying to help her adapt as best as possible and not intimidate her with his position. She understood the importance of the Uchiha family and the power Madara carries within, profoundly respecting him.
The two became extremely close, almost to an intimate point.
The Uchiha adores her little girl, and (Y/N) admits embracing him as a father figure every time she witnesses how the young child fills his hair with flowers or paints his lips bright red. Who would have thought one of the strongest men in the world could have such a soft and tender side for them both?
Seeing the leader of the family stroll around the compound decorated by her daughter was definitely a wonderful scene, especially as no one dared to comment on it, except Izuna. His younger brother was dedicated to teasing him from the first time it happened, until he fell victim to those little hands himself, and had to walk around full of flowers and paint in front of everyone.
Madara was right... they might not be the Senjus, but they were even better.
#uchiha madara x reader#madara uchiha x reader#madara x reader#madara uchiha#uchiha madara#madara#naruto imagines#naruto shippuden#uchiha izuna#izuna#izuna uchiha#naruto#naruto x reader#naruto scenarios
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People You Know
After the death of his wife, he starts a whole new life in a whole new city with his three year old twins only to meet someone from his past. What a way to start something new, right?
pairings: psychiatrist!jeonghan, parent!jeonghan x doctor!reader petowner!reader
tags: fluff, crack, slow burn, exes to lovers, romance, angst (if you think into it really deeply), swearings
word count:
notes: i’ve been dreading to write jeonghan as a parent of twins, now having the motivation and inspiration to write the plot, IM ON CLOUD NINE!!! lmao i’m also planning on posting this as an au on twitter if time, and motivation persists as my alter ego’s such a lazy ass bitch that takes at least half a month to find motivation to do updates on on-going twitter series’ THIS might also be turned in to a series (fuck, my mingyu series long forgotten 💀)
prologue | masterlist | two
Yoon Jeonghan was a person whom you can't forget. You let yourself relish his new appearance. Long gone was the long slick hair he sported back in college. His short haircut with his bang fringes poking his eyes made him look somewhat younger. His cheeks are more defined than you can remember, and his bright doe eyes that were healthy before now have bags underneath, finally noticing the mole you adorned long ago.
It seems that he did the same, as his lips narrowed open, shock still painted on his face as his eyes traveled around your face. The only thing that woke you two up from your daydream was, "Dada!" Two of the kids ran towards Jeonghan to hug him by his legs.
Stumbling a bit from the impact, his eyes lingered a bit longer from you before turning his attention to the two children, crouching down to hug them and mumble a few words.
Blinking a few more times, let it sink in that the two children that ran towards you and your dog were, Jeonghan's children. A small smile formed on your lips, "You're a dad now, huh?" You softly said, still wearing the small smile as you locked eyes with him again.
"They're twins, Yuna and Yejun. They're turning four this year." He replies, standing up again whilst holding both on his sides. Your eyes then drifted to the two, taking a closer look. Knowing that these were his children, you were suddenly intrigued to see who they took after.
You were guessing that you were staring at the twins a bit longer than you intended as you heard Jeonghan introduce you as one of their aunts. "Hi! You guys still want to touch her?" Pointing to your dog, piquing their attention again. You saw both of them look up to Jeonghan, asking for permission before running towards your crouching figure to pet your dog, Manju.
You still held your dog by its snout, letting the children pet his body. "Is that..?" You could tone of hesitance in his voice. Without meeting his eyes, "It's her daughter, she passed a year ago." Whilst shaking your head, quickly patting Manju's head making it lean to your hand, wanting more.
"Oh," You watched the two children giggling to themselves as they kept on patting your dog's body which Manju enjoys, noticing the rapid wag of her tail with each stroke that the twins make.
"She looks just like her," Jeonghan mumbles, making you slightly jolt from your position as you didn't notice him crouching down next to you to pat Manju's head.
"She acts like her too. Not that much of a people pleaser dog." You joked, hearing him chuckle again after how many years. "Then I guess Michi must've told her about me then." He softly says, making you look at him.
Michi, - your current dog, Manju's, mother - you and Jeonghan's lovebug. Just the mention of your passed dod makes your heart swell and Jeonahan's presence makes it a lot worse. You felt tears building up in your eyes, causing you to break free from Jeonghan's eyes.
You still weren't over grieving from the loss of your best friend. She was the only one who stayed with you from that dreadful college years up to your med school. She stayed longer than anyone could have, and that's why you weren't done grieving even if she was already gone for a year. "Dada," One called, capturing both of your attention.
It's somehow sweet that someone you knew is now being called like that. So sweet and soft, enough to you feel blue. How would it feel to be called by your child? You thought.
"I'm sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I still have some stuff to unpack. We just moved here in the city." Is Jeonghan effortlessly picking up both his kids, "Moved? Here?" You asked, quite shocked at the news. As far as you remember, he moved to a larger city to pursue law. Was he retired?
"Yeah," Sporting a smile that you remembered like the back of your hand, "See you around?" He adds, walking away from you.
You suddenly felt a wave of emotions rushing through your body. You didn't even have the chance to bid him goodbye as you were too busy relishing the smile he wore before he walked away.
It must be the nostalgia, making you feel emotions you thought were long gone. Seeing him again after a few years, with his own little family made you happy. Finally seeing him smile again after you broke his heart when you walked away from him that night.
“I’m telling you Seungcheol, I didn’t know she lived here!” Jeonghan dramatically says through the phone as he folded their clean clothes to store it in their closet.
“I’m not even saying anything! It’s you who’s overreacting, not me!” Rolling his eyes, “Oh you fucker, don’t get me started with your scoffs and stifled laughs!” Sighing, Jeonghan was left hopeless upon hearing his friend’s laughter echo through the room.
“Can you shut the fuck up? My children are asleep.” Jeonghan had his lips curved into an annoyed smirk, “I can see you glaring from here ya’ know?”
“On the brighter side, isn’t it nice to have a familiar face in an unfamiliar environment? Plus, you could ask Y/N to babysit the twins on October,” Seungcheol finally calmed down, giving Jeonghan a few grounded words.
“I think you don’t get the whole concept of ‘let’s not see each other again’ here, Choi Seungcheol.” He could hear his friend groaning on the full name, “Dumbass! She meant it to be - not being in a relationship! Not - literally not! Seeing! Each other! So much for topping the boards,” Jeonghan heard the last part but paid no attention. He knows that too. That you didn’t mean it to literally not see each other’s face. But at that time, he had no face to meet you even if you were the one who called it off. Too hurt to even see you from afar. Too bruised to even hear from you.
“I also don’t think were in a relationship where I can just ask her to babysit my twins because unfortunately, my first day of work is on my birthday!” Jeonghan can imagine Seungcheol shaking his head at him. “I also don’t have her number.” There was a long stretch of silence before he could hear Seungcheol’s sigh.
“Y/N, she didn’t changed her number. I’m sure you still have it.” Having his breath hitched, he stopped functioning for a while, “Don’t be such a sussy Han, it’s all in the past. Besides, you got married. All your unresolved feelings for Y/N should either be gone or just waiting to be answered.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
Sweat running down your forehead as you reached your kitchen’s counter top, almost flopping yourself just to reach the fridge. Not even minding to get a glass to pour water on. You don’t know why embarrassment is only hitting you now. How embarrassing on acting so casual with someone you left in the dark, as if you didn’t leave him hanging during your third year on college.
Wiping your lips that had excess water dripping down to your chin, you had your gaze hardened on the wall. How can he possibly talk to you when he avoided you at all cost after the breakup? Even hearing from his friends that he would always change the topic when it somehow swerved to you.
Just then, you heard your phone ding, immediately checking just in case it was a text from the hospital.
Heaving a sigh, you quickly typed in ‘otw’, scurrying away to your room to fix yourself before going back to the hospital.
“Doc, we’ve already calmed him down. His vitals are slowly coming back to normal.” The nurse informed you as you briskly walked towards the said patient’s warden. You just nodded in acknowledgment, slowly forgetting the incident earlier.
Being an general doctor was a pain, especially if most of your current patients are alcoholic. No matter how many nags and warnings you told them, they just don’t listen. Now, one of your patients who recently received a liver from his daughter went on a drinking spree. Now that his his newly transplanted liver almost gave up, you can feel stress working up its way to your head - almost giving you migraine like headaches just by the thoughtless behavior the old man lying on the bed portrayed.
The door swings open, gaining your attention, you then saw the wife and their daughter and you can’t help but feel bad for them. They just paid hundred thousands just to pay the hospital bills from the surgery and now, their patriarch had a surge of major side effects from the alcohol content he consumed.
“He consumed too much alcohol, that the liver almost gave up since it was still adjusting with his body. Good thing he was brought here immediately. He’s already stable. He needs to be monitored for a span of two weeks at least, just to make sure his liver won’t act out again.” You explained sternly to the family who only nodded and kept thanking you for saving the man again.
Heaving a big sigh as you closed the door to the room, you held your head, trying to rub the pain out. “Did you even sleep?” A familiar voice chirped beside you, “What do you think?” You said sarcastically before making your way to the headquarters.
“Judging by the way you tried to rub your temples and your mean attitude, you didn’t even sleep a wink with your uhm,” You could hear him counting in a small voice, “Three hours free time.” Halting, you quickly turned to him, making his squinted eyes go round.
“Did you know Jeonghan had kids?” You genuinely asks. The latter furrowed his brows, searching any other reaction from you. “Yeah..” Still trying to see if you’d react in any way other than relief washing down your face.
“Glad he found someone that’ll take care of him.” You said with a smile. You were about to turn when you halted from his words, “You.. Did you not know?” Confusion then etched both your faces.
“Know what, Hoshi?” He pursed his lips, contemplating whether to tell you or not, “What ‘cha guys doin’?” Dino’s voice erupted from your back. Dino noticed Hoshi’s panicking gaze but you didn’t remove your eyes on the latter.
You felt Dino’s presence beside you but you paid no attention to him, “Hoshi, what is it?” You asked again, more curious and fraught on his answer.
“What is what?” Dino joined causing you to whip his head to him. “What do you know about Jeonghan?” You asked him, catching him off-guard.
“I just know he moved here in the city, and he’s planning to start working here on October.” Furrowing your brows more, “What’s this about? Why’re you suddenly asking things about him?” You were too lost in your thoughts to answer him.
Didn’t he want to pursue law? Why would he work here at the hospital? Or will he work here as a legal guidance? Legal advisor? Didn’t he go to larger city so he could expand his connections?
Dino was now frowning at you, looking towards Hoshi with a questioning look. The latter shrugged and shook his head, also unaware of her sudden interest towards Jeonghan.
You raised you head again, now looking to Dino who had his one brow raised, already knowing what you’re going to ask, “You didn’t asked. And we thought you wouldn’t like to hear any news from him. Be it good or bad.”
“Yeah. Totally learned my lesson that one time.” Hoshi added. You frowned at your two friends - who was unfortunately, friends with Jeonghan also.
You and Jeonghan weren’t in the same circle before, it just happened that your friends and his friends clicked that much for it to become one. You still were in contact with some of his friends, but you took courtesy of not asking things about him and they respected that by not sharing anything too, without you asking.
“I met him earlier at the park. Also met his twins. He casually talked to me, and it made me feel anxious. He wasn’t like that when I last heard from him, wasn’t he angry anymore?” You ranted, lying on the bed as you munched your caramelized popcorn.
“Maybe? It’s been like what? Seven years? It must’ve dried out during those past years.” Closing his book before turning to face your lying body on the bunk bed. “Besides Y/N, why are you so worried about him working here? Do you not want him to be here that much?”
“No, its not that. It’s just, Wonwoo, I inflicted pain, he should be angry!” You kept refuting the same thing over and over again.
“Y/N, if there’s anything that he’ll feel about you, anger is far from it. He’s healed from the pain, he learned and he moved on. I’m sure his wife took care of him well. Isn’t that what you want? Someone to take good care of him?” You halted from Wonwoo’s words. You couldn’t help but look at the bed above you, letting out a smile as you imagined Jeonghan being taken care of well.
As soon as you felt tears suddenly welling up on your eyes, you did your best to refrain them from pouring out. “Yeah, I did.” It was so soft, Wonwoo would’ve missed it if there was other noises aside from the aircon’s ringing. “Did you attend his wedding?” You asked, with a softer voice.
Wonwoo was taken aback by the sudden change of demeanor, “..No, I couldn’t. It was during our OB-residency.” He could see you quietly nod and the red tip of your nose. He could sense immense emotions from you, but he kept quiet about it. He knows its something you don’t ever want to talk about. Most likely, you will never talk about it to them, finally knowing Jeonghan had marry already.
a/n: being this active on writing is kinda worrying me lol i think if i did another chapter, it’d probably be posted in the next two months 😬
#Spotify#seventeen#svt#seventeen au#jeonghan#jeonghan dad#jeonghan x fem#jeonghan imagine#jeonghan drabble#jeonghan au#jeonghan parent#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x oc
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I posted 238 times in 2022
226 posts created (95%)
12 posts reblogged (5%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@mondengel
@mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess
@anjimimimoo
@last-in-line-for-hell
@therinde-dreams
I tagged 155 of my posts in 2022
Only 35% of my posts had no tags
#mdzs - 137 posts
#wei wuxian - 80 posts
#lan wangji - 56 posts
#reply - 53 posts
#character death - 26 posts
#lan xichen - 22 posts
#jiang cheng - 18 posts
#lack of reply - 17 posts
#lan sizhui - 13 posts
#angsty talks - 10 posts
Longest Tag: 108 characters
#i feel like the quality of writing slowly degraded the longer it went but i have no motivation to correct it
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
All the Wen Remnants want is to live in peace until their dying day, WWX enables that by creating a massive barrier over the Burial Mounds that makes time move faster for those within it.
The Sects finally lay seige to the Burial Mounds and break the barrier, they are stunned to discover the Burial Mounds are now a lush thriving paradise free of resentment, the Stygian Tiger Amulet now merely a powerless and rusted trinket.
JC is the one who discovers WWX had been manipulating time but LWJ is the one who discovers Suibian, a first class spiritual sword, massively aged and used as a gravemarker alongside Chengqing (that now has flowers growing out of the holes) for her master who died hundreds of years ago.
It started small. A way to speed up the crops growing so everyone could eat. In injury that would have taken months to heal only taking an hour. Speeding up the Burial Mounds slow recovery until it became a place where life was possible again.
No one noticed at first. The days felt like they were passing by normally. Of course A-Yuan shot up so quickly, all children do. Of course their elders felt slow and ache with all the hard work farming demanded. But then one of the women had a late in life pregnancy in her early forties. Barely a month after finding out she was expecting she birthed a healthy nine month old baby boy.
Wei Wuxian had already been working on a way to stop what was happening but Wen Qing had gone to him and asked "Would it really be so bad to leave it? We don't know how long we have until the other sects come for us. Let the elders spend their last days in peace and let the children grow until they can defend themselves."
284 notes - Posted October 18, 2022
#4
I saw fanfictions where Wei Ying was the secret son of Wen Rohan from the woman he loved. He recognized this and demanded him for himself (without explaining that this was his son), and the Jiangs handed him over to the beaten ones, believing that he was guilty. What if they go even further? Madame Yu is pleased to hand over the severed head of the "servant's son"...
WRH looking at the decapitated head of the young son he didnt know he had: ... This is the opposite of what I wanted.
293 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
#3
Since secretlyevil! is popular this week, I propose secretly evil mxy finds a ritual for temporary possession expecting that WWX will do his thing and he’ll wake up in a year as the ruler of the cultivation world. Instead he wakes up in the jingshisleeping next to hanguang-jun. Your bet if he confesses or he tries to take over wwx’s postcanon life…
Mo Xuanyu wasn't expecting to wake up next to one of the most beautiful men in the world. He had sort of been expecting two or three beautiful women given all the rumors of Wei Wuxian before he died. He was by no means complaining of course!
A quick look around the room led to real disappointment though. He didn't know where he was, but the early morning light made it obvious that this was not the empire he had been expecting. A part of him had thought the Yilling Patriarch would take over Koi Towers since it was by far the most luxurious city in the known world.
Still, it was better then that thrice damned shed.
Now all Mo Xuanyu had to do was continue to play the part. He had no doubt that Wei Wuxian had built up an army for him to command. He just had to make sure no one got close enough to begin doubting his power. Hopefully Wei Wuxian didn't have a habit of showing off...
He began to climb out of bed, eager to see what the Yilling Patriarch had built for himself in the past year but was stopped by a strong arm around his waist.
Really though- he had to commend the Yilling Patriarch for his excellent taste in men! Hangung-Jun as a lover! That alone was worth losing his body for a year.
"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said with a sleep slurred voice.
Mo Xuanyu didn't really think much of interacting with Hangung-Jun. The other man would at most be a concubine who no one would listen to if he noticed Wei Wuxian acting strangely. As tempting as the older man was, Mo Xuanyu was too excited to see his new empire to stay in bed longer.
So he scoffed and removed Lan Wangji's arm from his waist and said "Don't be so clingy, Hangung-Jun. I have better things to do."
The way Hangung-Jun's eye snapped open and locked on him made him realize that he had just made a mistake.
296 notes - Posted February 12, 2022
#2
WWX dies after Sunshot Campaign Reputation Intact AU
Playing fast and loose with the timeline a bit, bear with me here.
It's almost perfect the Sunshot Campaign has ended, Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian have returned to Lotus Pier.
Wei Wuxian sits outside overlooking the lake waving Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli off to bed to moonwatch a bit longer.
In the morning they find Wei Ying asleep in the same place they left him last night. Exasperated good humor fades into horror as they realise their brother isn't breathing anymore and had passed peacefully away in his sleep with a soft smile.
Visitors including the Lan, are turned away from Lotus Pier as Jiang Cheng checks that it wasn't a assassination. (it's not, Wei Wuxian body literally gave out on him because of the immense strain the Sunshot Campaign put him under).
The funeral is held privately at Lotus Pier and Wei Wuxian's tablet is added to the Family Shrine.
The first the Cultivation World learns of Wei Wuxian's death is at the Phoenix Mountain Hunt when Jin Zixun callously asks why the Jiang Sect are still wearing mourning attire and Jiang Yanli replies in front of every Cultivator at the hunt that the Jiang Sect is in mourning for the death of Wei Wuxian.
(Wen Qing encounters Lan Wangji and learns that Wei Wuxian is dead. Lan Wangji overhears her muttering that its her fault and pressures her for a answer. A answer she won't give unless Lan Wangji helps her rescue her brother Wen Ning...)
Wei Wuxian returns to a world that knows of his sacrifice (A concept that gives him hives) a brother ready to either whip him or hug him and Jiang Yanli and her husband Nie Huisang who both want him to investigate the truth behind the murder of Nie Mingjue and Jin Zixuan and expose Jin Guangyao.
Because ironically Wei Wuxian has the best reputation of the lot of them having died a hero and willingly endured a Golden Core Transfer Surgery as the donor. Lan Wangji's reputation took a nosedive when he rescued the Wen Remnants and barely survived the Propaganda storm of rumors by the Jin for opposing them by going into seclusion.
WWX kicking in the jingshis door: Hi Lan Zhan! I'm here to kidnap you!
306 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
In those AU's where WWX allows himself to be purified to death by the Lan its often by LWJ who thinks he's helping and WQ knows beforehand, Here WWX is suicidal and has decided to make his death mean something.
What if WWX agreed to be purged of resentment in return for granting the Wen Remnants sanctuary then fully informed the Lan of what cleansing entailed? The Elders don't believe WWX because he's still agreed to undergo cleansing and they don't realise WWX is actively suicidal instead of lying. LWJ is conflicted regarding the issue and LXC steps in to perform Cleansing also sure that WWX is exaggerating, he's not exaggerating. How would the Lans react knowing that they assisted in WWXs suicide. How would WQ react after WWX lied to her about the the Lans requirements to take in the Wen Remnants, not knowing that he'd tricked them into killing him thereby forcing the Lans to take in the Wen Remnants and protect them out of duty and guilt at accepting such a twisted agreement.
I like this one.
Lan Wangji was really the only one who unquestioningly believed Wei Wuxian when he told him that the ritual would likely kill him. He was immediately telling Lan Xichen that they needed to make a new deal and find a different condition to take in the Wens because he wasn't willing to risk Wei Wuxian's life. Lan Xichen speaks to the elders and they all convince him that this was just the Yilling Patriarch trying to weasel out of being purified and purged of the resentful energy that makes him so powerful. Lan Xichen believes the elders and doesn't trust Wei Wuxian but he does have a talk with him to try appeasing Lan Wangji.
During their talk Wei Wuxian sort of nonchalantly says 'yeah the chances of me dying are super high but if this is what the Lan clan wants then so be it' and Lan Xichen is like 'ok I'm still pretty sure your lying because no one would be this casual with their life so this is a go, but Wangji won't be happy about it.'
Wangji is Very unhappy about it. He tries to stop the ritual and fights a lot of his own clan before he is subdued and dragged away for his own punishment. Wei Wuxian feels super guilty and regrets telling Lan Wangji.
The ritual happens and Wei Wuxian ends up very very dead. Lan Xichen has a crisis because 1) he just killed a man, 2) he was warned that his actions would cause this, 3) he kneeling chose to ignore these warnings, and 4) that man happens to be the love of his brothers life. Some of the Lan elders try to argue that Wei Wuxian tricked them so they shouldn't have to fill their end of the agreement and take the Wens in but Lan Xichen shuts that down fast.
Lan Wangji is told that Wei Wuxian is dead and his heart breaks. Lan Xichen begs for forgiveness but Wangji isn't really in a forgiving mood. He ensures Wei Wuxian has a proper burial and goes into seclusion, planning to stay there for the rest of his life.
336 notes - Posted April 24, 2022
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With love, your soulmate - Masterlist (complete)
ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3
Rating: Mature | Warnings & Tags: alternative universe, tarlos au, Brooklyn Love Stories AU, Alternative Timelines, Long Distance Relationship, Fluff, Soulmate AU, pen pal au, Angst, Fluff and Angst, writing letters, Tarlos - Freeform, Carlos Reyes - Freeform, TK strand - Freeform, Underage, Drug Use, Accidental overdose, parental neglect, mentions of fighting, Past Addiction, Talk of Addiction
Total Word Count: 35197
Summary: Carlos Reyes doesn’t think he has a soulmate. In the 22 years he had been alive he had never found anything that would tell him otherwise. At first, it bothered him that he was seemingly without anyone and that there wasn’t a perfect person out there for him but he learned to grow comfortable with that information. He learned to adapt, to date enough that he wouldn’t be lonely, and on the nights when he was without anyone he found ways to make himself feel good. He was content.
Or so he thought so until a letter arrived on the day of his 22 birthday. A letter addressed to him, from the past and from his soulmate.
From there, they start talking. Leaving letters for each other to find and read, falling in love through the words that they shared.
Will TK ever catch up to Carlos so that they can have their happy ever after? Or will time remain cruel to them?
**Soulmate AU based on the short film Brooklyn Love Stories - Long Time Distance Relationship with Ronen**
Author's Note: This was the first time I ever wrote a Soulmate AU. It took me 11 months to write it but I think it was worth it. Thank you to everyone who read this story and left kind messages. It truly means the world to me and your messages and comments kept me motivated to the end. I won't say I'll never return to this work, I might in the future. I don't see this being the last time I wrote about these two. If you have any requests, let me know. :)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Other Related Works:
#chaotic fics#t's masterlist#with love your soulmate masterlist#tarlos#tarlos au#tk strand x carlos reyes#tk strand#tarlos fanfiction#911 lone star#911 ls#carlos reyes#i forgot to post this back when i finished this fic#lol have it now
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FELIX ALBRIGHT
full name: felix james albright
pronouns & gender: he/him, cis man
birthday & birthplace: april 27, 1992 (31); aurora bay, ca
location: fisher's cove
time in aurora bay: born & raised, back as of a few weeks ago
sexuality: gay
occupation: music journalist/photographer at rolling stone
@aurorabayaesthetic
about.
felix was born and raised in AB, the youngest of three to two parents whose marriage was already crumbling by the time their first child was born. god knows why they stayed together or had two more kids, but they did, and they were at least decent enough people to try to keep the realities of their dissolving marriage away from their children as much as possible. they got divorced when felix was seven, and his mom moved home to london while his dad stayed home with the kids in AB.
so felix grew up being shuttled back and forth between AB and london a few times a year; he'd go see his mom for the summers and christmases and come back for the school year. his mom moving so far away did create a bit of a resentment in him that he doesn't talk about with anyone except his therapist, but it also sparked an inspiration that would carry him throughout his life.
his mom was fully stay-at-home before the divorce, but when she went back to london she started up her career again as an events coordinator for a music promotion and production company that put on shows for local up-and-coming artists. felix spent most of his summers hauling sound equipment and standing in the wings of stages with his mom, listening to music.
he picked up guitar and piano early on, but he realized easily enough that he wasn't meant to be a musician, so he started writing about it instead. when he was a kid, it started with emotions or images the music would evoke, but as he got older the writing matured and he realized that he actually had a talent for this kind of thing. his first byline appeared in a local zine in his mom's neighborhood in london when he was 14, covering a punk show he was way too young to be at and managing to score an interview with the band because they thought his precociousness was cute.
when he was home in AB, he was going out to LA to see shows as soon as he was old enough to drive. he started a blog that no one read, wrote for a little student-led music magazine that only printed 10 copies on black and white school printers (they thought it would make them seem more exclusive, but really no one had heard about it/actually wanted to read it). he used all of that to shop himself, freelance, to any publication that might have him while omitting his age. he actually got a few things in with some smaller names, and it was more than enough to keep him motivated.
his family didn't have a ton of money, so he stayed home and went to college in AB, studying english. it wasn't a perfect fit, but it gave him an excuse to stay writing all the time and to hone his voice. he kept freelancing throughout college and DJ’ed on campus radio, and his big writing break came when he was 21, with an opportunity to cover the strokes at a show in LA for rolling stone, after an editor had seen and liked his work for another site. the article, which followed the band over 24 hours, was a hit, and he got a couple more opportunities with rolling stone before he graduated college.
after graduation, he had a job offer with the magazine and took it without a second thought. he moved to LA full time but was only there for a cumulative few months out a year. his other home base was in london, but he was traveling a lot.
he loved his life for a long time, but around the nine year mark he just started to get exhausted. he was doing what he loved, but he was burnt out and not coping with it well. he didn't want to quit, but he needed a very long break, so he asked for something like a sabbatical from the magazine, which they granted given his years of dedication and the fact that he'd never once taken a sick day.
he moved back home to aurora bay about two weeks ago, where he's staying in his childhood bedroom in fisher’s cove while he gets the outline of a book together.
tidbits.
felix is excitable and talkative, and incredibly interrogative. he's always been a huge talker and has needed to stay one in his line of work. he's charming and quick with a smile, but is also nosy as fuck if his attention is captured. but that attention, though easily caught, isn't easily held. he’s often very distractible within his personal life (which means he’s terrible at returning texts or following through on plans) but is very concerned with every small detail in his work life, which makes him a good writer but not always a fun person to work or deal with.
his favorite interview so far was with paul mccartney in liverpool. they did a walking tour of the city and paul bought felix a beatles t-shirt from a souvenir store that he now has framed in his office in LA.
at his family's house in fisher's cove, his dad still has a now 18 year old cat named fred that felix picked from the shelter when he was 14.
keeps a tiny apartment in the montmartre neighborhood in paris on top of the LA and london places, which he pays way too much for considering he only uses it a few times a year. he can count the number of people he's ever brought there on one hand. it's sort of a sacred space for him
he never officially came out to either of his parents, just started casually mentioning guys he was dating in college. he's never actually talked about his sexuality with either of them.
probably polyamorous, though he doesn't know if he'd use that label. he's never cheated but has had multiple partners at once since he left AB, while being transparent about the fact that he's not a guy for just one other guy. he still thinks that he could comfortably settle into a monogamous relationship if the right partner wanted one.
connections.
childhood rivals to close friends w/ @blake-michaels
college ex-boyfriend of @atticus-cortes
pseudo older brother of @cassidyxcooke, @dancingdanvers
friend/came up with/avid fan of @xaviermattthews, @consrose
high school friends who fell out w/ @theotanaka
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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )
NAME: Dani
PRONOUNS: she/her
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Usually discord! If we’ve written/chatted before, then mutuals can DM me for my handle, but I’ll use tumblr DMs for new people
NAME OF MUSE(S): Hunter and Caleb Wittebane, at least on this blog. I’ve got a couple of solo d.escendants blogs, and a multi with a few primarily animated muses
EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG (MONTHS/YEARS?): I think I’ve been consciously rping for nine years...? But I’ve been writing on tumblr specifically since about 2017
PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: tumblr, discord, instagram, kik (rip), wire, and maybe a random forum or two. i’m only active with tumblr and discord now for writing
BEST EXPERIENCE: I’ve made some really impactful connections from rping, from finding one of my best friends to this day, to meeting some pretty awesome gals and movie night pals (can’t wait for our next one!). While I’m not in contact much with them anymore, I think one of my best experiences was receiving an xmas card a few years ago from one of my writing partners at the time. It was the first time I ever received mail under my alias, “Dani,” and it just felt really cool and cute to receive
RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS: Plotting only works when there’s something to bounce of off, and I’ve definitely had times in the past where I’ve reached out or vice versa for plotting, and had minimal or no ideas thrown back at me. It can get disappointing sometimes
FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: I was gonna say fluff and angst, but while I still really enjoy fluff, I’m realizing a lot of my favorite past threads have all had elements of angst to them... oops. It seems I’m a sucker for writing out muses working through emotional conflict, but hey, it’s never without a happier ending of some sort (ignoring that one thread with Caleb’s death I’M SORRY). I’m selective about smut, I don’t really do it on dash, but if the muses are of age, and it’s consensual in-context, then sometimes I’ll dabble in discord
PLOTS OR MEMES: I love both! Memes are a great way to get new interactions going especially, so I love sending them, but I do also adore getting to plot extensively with others. I can get super into plotting more often than not, and have a crap ton of fun doing it :)
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: I’ve got preference for long replies, those can be the most fun to continue on, but I enjoy doing both
BEST TIME TO WRITE: Unfortunately, the motivation to write tends to hit me at the ungodly hours of night. It is currently 2am while I type this up... My hope is that once I’m back at school, I’ll get back into a rhythm of hitting up drafts in the afternoon or evening, when I have downtime between or after classes
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): That is a loaded question for me lol... I absolutely vibe with Hunter in 3x01, as far as being a lil nerd and starting to accept himself, but even though she’s on a different blog, I probably relate much closer to Willow, given some of my experiences and the way that I’ve come to view myself over time
TAGGED BY: @trvehearted (ily alice)
TAGGING: I’m not quite sure who’s done this one yet, so you can absolutely steal this from me PLS ;)
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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!
50% of Canada is A.
The faster you eat, the more weight you gain.
Sex burns 360 calories per hour.
Hitler and Napolean both had only one testicle.
French fries are from Belgium not France.
The richest 1% of the world, owns 99% of the world.
French queens gave birth in public to prove the baby was theirs.
In their first year of trading, Coca-Cola only sold 25 bottles.
There is a morning-after pill for STIs.
“No lemon, no melon” backwards is "No lemon, no melon".
Bolivia has a 5000 man strong navy. What Bolivia does not have is a coastline.
On March 10th, 2015, Ireland accidentally legalised 125 drugs for one day, including ketamine, ecstasy and crystal meth.
Oysters, avocado, chocolate, and bananas are all known to increase sex drive.
‘Hakuna Matata’ is a Swahili phrase that literally translates to ‘There are no worries.’
Why are you assuming that your guests’ shoes are dirtier than your floor?
Cannabis can double a woman's chance of having a mind-blowing orgasm.
In 1894, The Times estimated that by 1950 London would be nine feet deep in horse manure.
Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let’s try to leave better kids for our planet.
When. You. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol before writing can actually enhance your creativity.
In 2014, a man from Arizona stole a diamond that was worth $160,000 and traded it for $20 worth of weed.
Not having enough sex can put you at risk of anxiety, paranoia and depression.
Psychologists examined internet trolls and found that the majority of them are narcissistic, psychopathic and/or sadistic.
Women are more attracted to someone with the ability to make them laugh. Laughter strengthens relationships.
Woody Harrelson’s father was a door-to-door Encyclopaedia Britannica salesman before becoming a contract killer.
Generally, women care more in a relationship but are more likely to walk away and stay away once they reach breaking point.
If Benny and Bjorn from ABBA had been Steve and Dave, they would have been known as ASDA.
If you can’t send an Excel file because it’s too big, save it as .xlsb. This will shrink the size.
Only 16% of French people surveyed in 2015 said they could live without cheese ‘sans aucun problème’ (without any problem).
The average Brit spends more time per week on the toilet than they do exercising.
Each time you resist acting on your anger, you're actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more compassionate.
The Stinking Rose restaurant in San Francisco uses 1.5 tons of garlic a month and features a 2,400-bulb garlic braid as decoration. According to one reviewer "They season the garlic with food.”
In 2021 an arrest warrant was issued for a woman in Oklahoma after it was discovered she hadn’t returned a copy of Sabrina the Teenage Witch on VHS to a video rental store in 1999 when it was due.
Broccoli, cabbage, and Brussel sprouts all contain a little bit of cyanide. Eating them primes your liver to deal better with other poisons.
In 1976, the typical US CEO earned 36 times the salary of his average worker. Today, the average CEO makes 369 times what an average worker makes.
Tchaikovsky was able to quit his day job with the support of a wealthy patron. Her only condition for her support was that they never meet in person.
Brian Cranston signed up to a screen writers’ guild so that he was paid royalties for the whistling he did as Hal in ‘Malcolm in the Middle’. He used the money to pay for parties for the crew.
It's hard to change a person's mind using facts due to "motivated reasoning". People often believe what they want, then use unsubstantial evidence to support it, even when there's an abundance of information disproving their point.
In 2018, a 13-year-old opened a hot dog stand in front of his home in Minnesota, prompting a neighbor to file a complaint with the health department. Instead of shutting him down, inspectors helped bring his stand up to code and paid the $87 fee for his permit.
In 1996, a store manager in California robbed the store, reported the robbery, and then gave a detailed description of the ‘suspect’ to the sketch artist. When the police pointed out to him that the ‘suspect’ looked exactly like him, the man confessed.
The last line of the film ‘Gone with the Wind’ — ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’ — was originally censored. Before it was finally approved, the producers considered such replacements as ‘I don’t give a whoop’, ‘I don’t give a straw’, and ‘I don’t give a Continental’.
The inventor of the transistor, John Bardeen, won a Nobel prize in 1956 but only brought one of his three kids to the ceremony. When questioned on it, he said he’d bring the others the next time he won, which he then did in 1972.
Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.
#mixcloud#mi soul#dj#music#new blog#lockdown#coronavirus#books#democracy#brexit#cronyism#election#tuesdaymotivation#autumm
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KEY TO ENLIGHTENMENT IS TO BECOME DESIRELESS
QUESTION ASKED : If the key to enlightenment is to become desireless as advocated by Buddha, should we then consider the thirst to experience the ultimate joy as an obstacle that will inevitably prevent us to reach it unless/until that last desire is finally dropped ?
MY VIEW : This is indeed a nice question and I would like to give my expression on this.
It is true that the key to enlightenment is to become desireless.
Here one need to understand the meaning of desireless. Let us understand it step by step.
In common understanding any form of desire is due to our greed. Desire leads to expectation and its end results.
In the path of enlightenment desire is the biggest hurdle as it will lead to paradigm shift and one starts manifesting about the after effects, after becoming enlightened.
A common man will think of impressing the world with his magical powers. He would like to move any object from one place to other without touching, by his power. He would float in air, with stand sever cold without clothing etc etc ( just an example to understand )
The path of enlightenment expects a person to be in shunya Avastha / zero state, that is complete detached from all kind of attachments and desire is one among them. Having control over the panch indriyas ( 5 sense organs )
A person does not focus to get enlightened but to practice the way of living he is taught.
It is not the common man’s way of living but a living involving many achar and vichar ( many actions and thoughts ). There are no time frame bounded with the practice, it is completely depended on the individual’s capacity to learning and understanding.
One can find many sadhus doing penance for long long years and still they did not attend the enlightenment. There are sadhus who spend their whole life in the practicing the path of enlightenment and die, but still, they could not attend it.
The path is not that easy as it seems to be in reading plain text.
Just like a mother risking her life to give birth to a child, carrying it in her womb for nine long months never desire that her child will give her sometime after growing up nor she desire that the child will take care of her in her old age.
She just does her dharma ( motherhood duty ) and give her breast feeding to her child without any desire. Just perform her duty for being a mother.
Desireless is a state of mind when an individual only know to perform and follow a path without thinking of the end results.
This is the reason why not everyone can follow it and not everyone gets enlightened.
Enlightened people who visit internet talking about their experience being enlightened are all bogus / fake.
An enlightened person’s knowledge is infinity and he / she do not need to seek any knowledge from internet and who will write that kind of knowledge for them.
These individuals are fake with desire to show magic to people to attract or impress them. They have their motive behind their act and that’s desire and so they cannot be an enlightened person.
We are continuously running in our life because of our desire and it do not give us a satisfaction after achieving it, and keeps on jumping to the next thing every time and we keep running till the end of our life.
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diabetic harley you are so so special to me already (also! i know the focus is on HB and your other one shot right now but do you have any sort of projected schedule for TBAF in mind? what are the next steps there if you don’t mind me asking!)
the focus is on hb and tbaf!! the other one shot is something i've been working on in the background when i have time/motivation for like at least a year and a half, it's not a priority at all, i just happened to reread it earlier today and decided to post about it pjfkjhg, i do want to maybe try and finish it and post it on feb 24 because feb 24 is my nine year diabetic anniversary and i think that'd be cool like. emotionally lmao. but yeah no hb and tbaf are my top priorities!!
the thing with tbaf is i have it WAY more planned out than hb, so whenever i make myself sit and work on tbaf, i can bust out the next one shot in like. a day or two lmao. like i have what is happening in the next ten installments already figured out (some one shots, some multi chapter)
i think what i keep doing is focusing more on homeward bound because 1. the hb series is a lot more complex and like. grittier? and more real and intense and stuff, you know? whereas tbaf, while it does have a lot of serious moments and touch on angsty stuff, overall it's a lot more lighthearted, especially in its approach to the serious stuff. hb is Trauma. tbaf is Funny Trauma Bonding Therapy.
but also 2. i have a lot of ideas for homeward bound that i know i want to do but i don't have it all laid out the way i have it for tbaf, so then i'm like, well i need to focus on hb first to figure it out, and then i get stuck on something and spend literally MONTHS stuck on this something in hb and go over a year without updating tbaf because of it. which is why i'm trying to like. bounce between them?
so after i write chapter 16 of hb, i'm going to at least START the next installment of tbaf, though i might also work on chapter 17 at the same time since i have a time limit goal for finishing hb.
sorry this is a very long winded way of saying: tbaf is definitely still a priority! i have the next ten parts planned out (though i am still struggling to figure out how and when to actually END tbaf) and i know exactly how i want to write them, it's more a matter of finding the time while still trying to reach my goals for hb.
my guess is by the latest i'll probably post the next part in january if i'm not able to do so sooner. MAYBE february if the holiday season gets super crazy or something lmao. but with me trying to have hb 1 finished and posted on christmas eve, tbaf, while still a top priority for sure, is like a tiny step down from hb for the time being
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Evanescent: Or the Art of Seeing Things
This month, I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. For those of you who don't know, Nanowrimo is a challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel in a month. In hopes that it will help motivate me, I have decided to post chapters a I write them. If you choose to follow along with me, I hope you enjoy!
Prologue: The Beginning
When Lior was a child, it didn’t matter that she sometimes saw things other people didn’t. Certainly, it earned her the reputation of being a terribly clumsy child, and yes, her parents learned never to let her out of their sight, but as far as she was concerned, she was perfectly normal. And as far as her parents were concerned, she was only mildly abnormal. After all, there were far more unusual things in the world than a child bumping into walls.
At the age of seven, Lior had her first true vision. The wispy shapes and colors she had always seen resolved into a vibrant city bustling with life. Buildings rose high into the clouds, massive images were projected into the air, and high speed trains whizzed silently on airborne tracks. She most certainly would have been terrified to find herself suddenly in this strange place, if not for the fact that the passing pedestrians walked right through her, none of them even looking down to where she stood. Having never learned otherwise, Lior assumed this was perfectly normal and strolled along with the crowd, until she ran painfully into an invisible wall. The pain caused the marvelous city to melt away, and Lior found herself nose to floral pattern with a wall in her family’s home.
A week later, it happened again. This time, she was playing in the front yard when everything was replaced by that same metropolis. It was exactly as she remembered it, and she wandered down the sidewalk just like before. The people seemed so different, all colorful hair and strange clothes. Neon signs and so much noise competed for her attention. Lior was certain she had never seen anything more bright or alive. She wanted to explore everything, but she had hardly set off when she tripped over a small step that wasn’t there. She closed her eyes to brace for the fall and opened them to the breeze of a passing vehicle and her mother’s tense arms wrapped around her. Lior tried to tell her mother about the city and the people and about how the road wasn’t there before, but her mother just shook her head and ushered her inside. The next day, Lior wasn’t allowed to go outside.
At the age of eight, Lior dedicated herself to memorizing the layout of anywhere she might frequent, which was, admittedly, mainly home and school. She began to actively observe every space she was in. She would walk around rooms with her eyes closed and draw maps from memory. When the visions, as she thought of them, hit, she practiced exploring the other world without bumping into anything in her world or she would challenge herself to retrieve a certain item from another room.
At the age of nine, someone saw Lior, and she made her first friend. He was a boy about her age with shaggy blond hair and a distinct limp. Though she could never tell him when she would be back, he always had a broad smile and enough words for the both of them.
At the age of ten, Lior’s school recommended her for psychotherapy. It didn’t take her long to decide that she thoroughly disliked the experience and refused to talk. Shortly after, her mother relented and stopped taking her. Instead, Lior was pulled out of public school and began homeschooling. It suited her just fine.
Little by little, Lior taught herself to navigate the world deaf and blind, until by the age of twelve, she could memorize a room at a glance and recognize the slight breeze of a passing person. She learned how to blend in with both her own world and the other world. And she learned about the boy and his world. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.
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9/18/2023
I have been thinking a lot about death lately. But before I get into that, I need to do a brief update of everything that has happened in the last ~month since I posted on here last.
We passed one month since Brennan died last week. It has gotten easier, but I don't go a day without thinking about him. Today the school did a student suicide statistics display in the drill field, where they laid a backpack out for every student who has committed suicide within some timespan. They do the demonstration every year, but it never hit as hard to me as it did today.
My food poisoning graduated into a long-term gastrointestinal issue. I was getting intense nausea randomly, throwing up, the whole nine yards. I was losing motivation, my mental health was declining (not to mention I couldn't keep my Prozac down so I was essentially being forced to quit cold turkey until I felt better). It was miserable and the closest I ever got to suicidal thoughts in a long long time. The campus doctor told me it could be Hep A, but after some testing they thankfully concluded that it wasn't. The issue lies in the fact that they found NOTHING wrong with me. So that remains a mystery to this day.
I have been having internal conflicts regarding where I stand with my friends, particularly Trent and Ozzy. It is no secret that they have quickly become my best friends, but I find myself having insecurities about the possibility of them liking each other more than they like me. I shouldn't care, because the fact remains that they love me and I love them and we all love each other, but I can't help but pick up on things between them that allude to them being closer to each other than I am to either of them. A small part of me thinks that they are on the verge of or secretly engaged in a relationship of some kind, which is wonderful, but if that is the case then why wouldn't they tell me? In all truthfulness, I think I would be a little bothered if they started dating. I understand why I shouldn't be bothered, because frankly its none of my business, but I feel like there would be that irrepressible feeling of resentment towards the two of them if that were to happen. Jealousy maybe? Not at their relationship as it exists romantically, because I have Dylan, but at the fact that their relationship is able to reach a level that I can never reach with them? I'm not sure, and to be honest trying to verbalize it is really confusing. All I know is I have some messed up biz going on that I need to figure out. I need to start utilizing the free counseling that my university offers because damn talk about emotional baggage.
I found the engagement ring. Well, let me be more specific. I found the box for the engagement ring. I didn't touch it or open it. That much I refuse to do. But I know where it is. I know it exists. I know Dylan has a plan. Holy shit. It doesn't feel real.
Anyways that's been the main stuff. If I remember anything I'll throw it in or mention it later. Now on to what I was saying earlier about death.
It feels like I have been bombarded by a series of ridiculous and difficult issues the last few months. Brennan's death, knocking my side mirror off my car, conflicts within my organization, my stomach issues, my mental health drastically declining, the list goes on and on. One thing just keeps coming up, though, and that's death.
Brennan's death was sorta a catalyst for all of this. I have never been struck more heavily by the uncertainty of life than his death. I haven't been able to go a day without paranoia that something's going to do me in at any given moment. To the extent that I have been planning my last rites. I worry that I'm going to die with nothing laid out for my people to follow.
I don't have as much privacy as I would like to be writing this.
Bye for now.
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