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#adding just to clarify

sysmedsaresexist · 7 months

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The Caterpillar Game

A fun way to fuck up your kids

And me trying to distract myself.

I always kind of wondered when my OCD started.

Was I born this fucked up? (Science says no)

Or was it something else? Something that happened to me?

I have a wedding in about... two weeks? I'll be attending in a dress, unfortunately, which means doing my eyebrows so I look presentable.

During the pandemic lock downs, I had to learn to do my eyebrows myself, and I'm actually really pleased to say that I'm pretty okay at it now?

Having neat eyebrows doesn't do much to help me look more masculine, but it's important, because my OCD really likes to show itself through trichotillomania.

Hair pulling.

For me, it's hair on my face, specifically chin and neck, and I'll pick and pick and pick until I'm bloody. This has gotten worse since covid because unless you're waxing and threading consistently, there's always hair there, ripe for the picking.

But I've managed, and my bank account has thanked me.

It's not perfect, though, so with a wedding looming just around the corner, I've been letting everything grow. That way, a professional can reshape my brows and then I'll repeat for another two years until I make them wonky and I'll repeat this process.

But as I sit here, struggling against every fibre of my being that tells me to pick, I wonder where this started.

How to play

Growing up, my aunt liked to play the caterpillar game.

The rules are simple.

Smack the forehead of people with a unibrow to kill the caterpillar.

There's no winning. Just smacks. Until you die.

The first time I remember this happening was when I was 6 or 7. By 8, I was threading with my mom when she would go.

My cousin, my aunt's daughter, has ruined her eyebrows. They don't grow anymore? They're very, very thin. The style of the time, but something she regrets.

Sometimes, I wonder why she doesn't struggle like I do, and then I remember that she probably is, just in different ways. At least I still have eyebrows, even if my brain wants them gone.

She has her own kids now, but they're both boys, and I hope she doesn't have anymore.

I hope she doesn't have a girl.

I hope the caterpillar game dies with us.

#personal experience #story time with SAS #Trichotillomania #ocd #actually ocd #actuallyocd #actually traumatized #adding just to clarify #this is trichotillomania not dermatillomania #when i say pick i mean pick at the tiny fuzz hairs but they're so short and fine that'll the result looks like derma

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weaver-z · 11 months

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That one post going around that says something like "The line between attraction to femboys and attraction to trans girls is thin!" makes me so uncomfortable. Like. No it's not. That's a very solid line, actually. I can confirm this as a certified lesbian who very much likes trans women.

#the line is pretty solid for most people actually #just clarifying: this post is not about nonbinary transfemmes or genderfluid transfemmes but specifically about binary trans women #(like my pal who was upset about the post in the added screenshot in the reblog)

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strangersteddierthings · 10 months

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The Response

Part Two of The Interview [Part One] [Ao3]

With no exact time given by Robin, Eddie's left to kill time. He drags himself from the YouTube spiral to try and track down Steve on social media. After two hours, he concludes that either Steve has his (and official Corroded Coffin's) socials blocked, or Steve just doesn't have any. He's a bit baffled that people can even find Steve to send hate mail to him.

He shoots a text to Gareth. Can you find Steve on any socials?

He gets an instant reply.

DO NOT CONTACT!!!

WAIT FOR RESPONSE

DONOT MAKE THISS WORSE MUNSON

Eddie frowns down at his phone but doesn't argue. He probably would make it worse. He sends back 'k' and looks back to the laptop. Watches it auto-refresh but Robin's feed hasn't changed.

God, what will Steve have to say?

It's mostly true, that Eddie hasn't thought about Steve in years. That's been deliberate. Eddie was so furious back then. Robin wasn't wrong about him venting his feelings into a song, but how was he supposed to know Hey Steve would be the song the catch the ear of the people? And yeah, the lyrics are very unflattering.

A lot of their first songs were filled with rage. The whole first album is just their collective high school experiences. Songs about growing up in Hawkins and how shit that was for them, a song about Eddie's complicated feelings towards his dad, songs about dungeons and dragons disguised as fantasy ballads, things like that. And, of course, Hey Steve.

He can admit that years ago he reevaluated the lyrics and found it to be more harsh than was warranted. But he figured there was no point worrying about that. People exaggerate in songs all the time. The song is out, people still plead for it to be played during encore performances. Eddie hadn't thought it was hurting anyone to play it.

Hey Steve had taken Eddie less than two days to write. He did almost nothing for those two days except write. Fuck. He was still just a dumb kid when he wrote it, barely graduated high school. And the reason for writing it...

Eddie had know Steve wasn't out to his parents when he'd asked Steve to essentially runaway with him. Steve had worried about things like money, and living situations, and getting food. It had all sounded like excuses to Eddie back then. Like Steve was picking the safety of Hawkins and his parents' house over going out into the world to be with Eddie freely.

They'd fought about it. The worst fight they'd ever had. Yet, here Eddie is, a decade later and unable to recall anything that was actually said. Just a summary of that conversation exists in his mind, now. Steve wanting to wait. To save more money now that his hours at the grocery store would be changing from part time to full with him no longer being in school and able to work the morning shifts. Wait to get his car fully transferred to his name from his parents.

All things that adult Eddie can now see as reasonable. Jesus Fucking Christ. He remembers he'd given Steve some sort of ultimatum. He was leaving on the last Grey Hound from Hawkins to Indy. Steve could meet him at the bus stop or stay, but Eddie was going, with or without him.

Steve had shouted back. He knows they just got louder and nastier until Steve finally told him that he would be going without him, then, because they were over. Even as angry as Eddie had been, he'd held out hope. But that last bus left Hawkins with Eddie on it and no sign of Steve in sight.

So Eddie did what he did best. Channeled that hurt into anger and wrote a song. Never in a million years did he think that, in the very first bar they played at in Indy, they'd meet a man who wanted to take a chance with them and get them a demo. All they needed to do was get from Indy to LA. Eddie had a van and the motivation. The next year of his life was too busy for him to even think, much less worry about Steve and his breakup.

Well, that was a lie. He thought about it constantly and shoved the thoughts aside as quickly as they came. Easier to do when he had no way to check up on Steve. He left Hawkins with no laptop and a pay-per-text flip phone he'd bought at a gas station. Wayne tried his best to provide for Eddie, and that meant they'd had one cell phone between the two, and Eddie had insisted that Wayne keep it.

By the time he got a laptop and internet, Steve had blocked him on Facebook and Twitter. That was the conclusion Eddie had come to when he finally worked up the nerve to swallow his pride and apologize and couldn't find Steve on either platform. Another thing that had filled Eddie with anger and hurt. Steve had broken up with him and then made sure Eddie couldn't reach back out.

Now he wonders, did Steve block him, or did Steve delete his socials to stop the hate mail?

Eddie feels nauseous.

Fuck!

What's worse is that, before the fight, Eddie had been so sure he was in love with Steve. But how can he say that with how quickly he dropped him? With how he's acted ever since? He could justify it to himself when he was still freshly broken up with and hurting but that faded away as fame took over.

Hard to be sad about not having a boyfriend when there were plenty of people lining up to be with him.

He pulls himself from his head to look at the laptop. A new tweet shows on Robin's screen and he scrambled to turn off the auto-refresher.

It's a short tweet, and Eddie sees she's changed her name as well.

Clicking the link takes him to a YouTube video.

It starts with the camera slightly jiggling, presumably from someone hitting record. It's been set up in a recording studio. A stool in front of a mic that's suspended from the ceiling is the only thing in the frame.

"Alright, dingus, last chance to change your mind about this," Robin's voice is picked up from off screen.

"You can't talk me out of this," says a male voice, and without any thought about it, Eddie's hand flings out and slaps the space bar, pausing the video. His heart is pounding, and he has to take a few deep breaths. That was Steve's voice. Of course, it was Steve's voice, it's his statement video, but hearing it again. Hearing it spoken softly but determined.

Swallowing feels difficult. Eddie's last memory of Steve's voice was screaming. This is... this is the Steve he never thought he'd hear again, and hasn't realized how much he desperately wanted to. With shaking hands, he presses play again.

Steve steps into frame, takes a seat on the stool. He looks in the direction of the camera, and Eddie has to pause again, to take him in. His hair is longer than it was in high school, the ends of it touching his shoulders. He's got it pulled up in a half updo, keeping the hair out of his face. His face is familiar and yet so different. He certainly looks older but not in a bad way. The biggest difference is his nose; it's not as straight as it once was, like it's been broken and healed wrong. His strong, square face is as handsome as it ever was, perhaps more so now. Eddie's eyes are drawn to the two moles on his cheek; his eyes have always been drawn there. It was his favorite place to kiss Steve.

He's wearing light wash jeans and a deep blue Henley. And fuck if it doesn't make him look good.

Eddie unpauses again, and waits to hear the retribution he deserves.

"This good, Robin?"

"Yeah, you're perfectly in frame."

"Good. Uhh, hi. I'm Steve. Robin told me that there was a lot of fuss regarding a certain Corroded Coffin song, and that people wanted to hear from me. Which is wild 'cause like, I'm just some guy and I don't really have much to say-" Steve is saying, with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Steve!" Robin interrupts him, "I just had to help you move because someone threw a brick through your window! What do-"

"Okay! I get it! But that's not Corroded Coffin's fault. They do that whole anti-bullying thing! It's not like they don't address harassment and bullying. I-" Steve cuts off, seeming to remember he's on camera. His face turns pink. "We can argue this later. Uhh, anyway. There is something I want to say to Eddie Munson, so I hope he's watching."

He makes a 'give it to me' gesture and Robin enters frame, handing him an acoustic guitar. "I thought I'd answer using the one thing Eddie understands best. Music. So, uh, I wrote this song with Robin's help. Lyrics are mine but the melody is Robin. The song doesn't have a title but, uh, okay. Here it goes."

And then, Steve starts to sing, looking down at the guitar for correct finger placement more than singing into the mic but it picks him up well regardless.

"Do you think I'd give up? That this might've shook the love from me? Or that I was on the brink? How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily? Now that it's done There's not one thing that I would change My life was a storm, since I was born. How could I fear any hurricane? If someone asked me at the end I'll tell them put me back in it-" Eddie is sitting down, and still he feels the floor fall out from under him.

"-Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah If I could hold you for a minute Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah."

Eddie doesn't hear the rest of the song because of the blood pounding in his ears. This can't be- it doesn't mean- after all this time? After everything that's happened, everything Eddie let happen, unintentionally or not.

His phone buzzes against his leg. He ignores it in favor of restarting the video and listening to the video from the start. He listens to the whole song and it ends without anything else. Once Steve's strummed the last chord, he just stands up, walks to the camera and the video ends.

He restarts the video again, and again, and again. Hears Steve sing How could you think I'd scare so easily and I would do it again if I could hold you for a minute and though I know my heart would break I'd tell them put me back in it.

It's through the tenth, or eleventh, playback that his phone buzzes again and he fumbles to answer blindly, unable to pull his eyes away from Steve on the screen of his laptop.

"Gare- It's not- what did I do Gare? Everything I thought Steve would have to say never came close to what he just sang. I can't- I don't know what to do," Eddie sobs into the phone.

There's a pause of silence before what is very much not Gareth's voice says, "Well, dammit Munson. I was calling to rip you a new one but you're already crying."

It takes Eddie a moment to place the voice, "Robin?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Robin says. "I think Steve's let you off easily, but I also know I kick a hornet's nest with my interview so I think we should work on getting this cleared up, both publicly and privately."

"How did you get my num-"

"Gareth. Keep up, Munson. I'd like us to be able to call off each other's fans. Your PR team and whoever you employee to do that anti-bullying campaign have done a pretty good job so far in telling people to back off, politely. Helps that Jeff has been on top of this from the beginning. Honestly, I think the best decision you've ever made in your life was making Jeff the front man of your band and not yourself. He's much more pleasant to talk to, and so good with people."

"Robin!" Eddie has to shout because Robin keeps saying words and they don't make sense. "What?"

He hears a sign from the other end of the phone. "You are annoying. You know that, Munson? I'll work with Gareth to get this done. I think we should be seen together, publicly. Maybe getting a coffee. So everyone knows we've made up, or whatever it is Gareth and I decide is happening. We should also meet up privately. There's a lot to talk about."

"I'm so confused."

"Nothing new. Now, when are you free to get on a plane to Pendleton, Oregon?"

"Pendleton?"

"Munson!" Robin snaps, "we just established that you live in a perpetual state of confusion. Instead of questioning me, how about you answer my questions. Now, when are you free?"

"Anytime."

"Smart answer. Get your ass to Pendleton by the morning of the twenty-third. I'll work with Gareth for all the other concerns. He's easier to deal with."

"Can I ask one follow up question at least!?"

"You just did but I'll allow one more before I hang up."

"Why Pendleton?"

"It's the nearest airport to our destination. I am not having a private conversation with you in California. I don't want to be caught speaking to you until Gareth and I have a chance to work out the details."

And then Robin hangs up.

Eddie leans forward and restarts the video on his laptop before looking up plane tickets. Fixing things with Robin might be the first step in ever getting try and, he doesn't know, apologize to Steve? Maybe even have a conversation one day.

He doesn't deserve that chance, he thinks, but he's a bad enough person to want it anyway.

#steddie #my fic #the interview #the song steve sings is Francesca by Hozier #i dont do taglists so i linked to ao3 where u can subscribe and get updates #i feel like eddies an unreliable narrator so im adding that tag on ao3 #the boy has got NO CLUE what is happening at any point in time ever #hes just a ball of guilt and regret #also i didn't clarify in the fic because i couldn't find a good way to fit it in #but gareth is not an active CC member‚ he's the PR manager #he used to be in the band but quit to finish college and be a family man #Jeff is the front man so he does the interviews/public appearances/etc #Eddie used to but like rockstar life hit him hard and he had to let someone else take that role

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mishapen-dear · 8 months

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HUGE probs to cc!forever btw i thought he added the furniture thing as a joke option to like- legitimately get under q!bad's skin to give cc!bad an excuse to give his cubito more problems. but no apparently his chat were just instigators and made that suggestion to him 😭

i'm so impressed by how he got blindsided by a Full Lore Mode angry q!bad and kept his cool, and worked to communicate, and admitted when qbad had a good idea about the voting (qbad could NEVER), and went and got Cellbit when he realized the language barrier was too much. absolute king shit over there. like here he is trying to legit make the server better on a meta level and gets blindsided by q!bad's lore problems and he rolled with it so so well. he's doing legit such a good job for the server

and this is like- me being a bad fan, and i know it was an accident, but im very grateful to him for how that shook out. every time bad starts to get a little lore moment or something dramatic for his storyline, it fizzles out or gets overtaken by something else. cc!bad has been doing a great job with his storytelling/roleplaying and building up a narrative of feeling unappreciated/like a helping object instead of a person (and i could GUSH about the parallels between qbad and qforever and how they recognized those feelings in each other) but!! the point is that cc!forever did it. even accidentally. he created a catalyst event that could finally get my favourite little cubito off of his rocker (FINALLY), and bad is a good person to get off of his rocker. this is going to be a gorgeous little storyline that i am going to enjoy so so much. forever wanted to do good for the server and the story and by god he has done it

#qsmp #cc!bad clarified that it was all roleplay like three separate times last night while he was building the base btw #he's well aware that this conflict is gonna be a lil distressing for people #he's also well aware that so so so many of his fans want him to go to jail #idk i see a lot of people being upset or just-generally annoyed today and i hope that forever leans into the rp and has so so much fun with #it. he deserves to be a little menace on purpose and i hope people are SO nice to him about this #because he has genuinely given the bbh fanbase a huge gift we have been waiting for our cube to snap for AGES #and this gets him a lot closer to that #i really want forever to have fun #he cares so mcuh about figuring out a good system to let the islanders have a vote about what mods are added and aaaaaaaaaa the test had #flaws but he Listened to how it could be made better and the cc is such a good guy i want him to have FUN

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manofthepipis · 27 days

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Random question that’s answer is probably very obvious, but I’ll ask it just in case:

What kind of magic does each Addison specialize in, and what do they visually look like? I remember them being used in the big Spamton NEO fight in the last few chapters, but I was wondering if it could be a bit clarified?

Like, does Click’s magic just look like a Cursor, or is it more complex?

(Also, sorry if the question’s worded weirdly, I didn’t really know how to phrase it)

it's all good! i honestly had to go back to even remember what id written for that chapter just to regain my thoughts on their attacks lol

so i thoughtd id put a fun spin on some different types of advertising as if the addisons were enemies in the deltarune universe! their attacks are meant to be visualized in the deltarune fighting format, with bullets relating to their forms of advertising.

Clicks has a variation of cursors, based on clickable product advertisements that show up on webpages, whether that be pointer fingers or simple arrows, Banner has banner ads (which i imagined like literal fabric banners with some sort of advertising on them), Survey has poll-based advertising, which can be bullets of "most likely-least likely" (or whatever poll options they summon) being used as attacks, Sponsor is those ads that shows you sponsored items that pop up first in your search engine, and he doubles as sponsor ads in internet videos, the attacks being video shields or computerized reinterpretations of random items he's had lightners search in the past. Spam's used to be mail projectiles, but he doesn't use them anymore, with the exception of being Neo.

Like if you were in the game and had to fight an army of these particular addisons, you'd be met with a deltarune-style battle of cursors, banners, polling options, and random items from the light world's town. Maybe some coupons here and there. It'd be the reverse of spamton's battle, in where you actually have to buy things to spare them.

#hopefully that helps- wished i had a visual but doodling and art takes longer than just describing it #survey's- to clarify- is similar to queen's attack of the random texted words in the berdly&queen battle #and i didn't do much with sponsor in the fic in that time bc there was already a lot going on but that's what i had in mind for them #asks #fanfic #their attacks all take on a holographic appearance and have their addison color #because they're all programs in a computer #they all also have the ability to summon holo-pop up ads #except spamton- if he does it ends up being glitched. like the ones in the trash zone (which i headcanon to be his)#and he can't de-spawn them on his own bc he has a very loose control on his abilities

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campbyler · 1 month

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hii i was just wondering if we'll ever find out why will was crying in chapter 4 🙏🙏🙏 maybe it was said in the chapter and im not reading it right but i dont think it was 😭 tyy :))

i think we briefly referenced in ch5 and we’ve answered a few times on here, but he was just frustrated with himself and upset because max and hopper and justin were mad at him! not the biggest deal ever — was just included to show that A) will is a frustrated crier and B) mike cared about the fact that he was crying despite everything!

#asks #this is for sure something we’ll go back and clarify if we do any post-mortem edits when the fic is finished #faq #<- adding this as a tag just so that we don’t have to update our actual faq w it

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 7 months

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god damn how miserable and pathetic does your life have to be to spend time blogging about hating one of the few queer animated shows we're ever going to get, that didn't get cancelled? can you give one example of a queer animated show that meets your unobtainable standards? of all shows- why SPOP? It's not even particularly worse than other shows, animated or not, queer or not...

i hope your life gets better.

since you asked so nicely, yes, i can actually list a bunch of queer animated shows that aren't as problematic as spop:

the owl house

arcane

kipo and the age of wonderbeasts

the dragon prince

adventure time

steven universe

the legend of korra

scooby-doo mystery incorporated

craig of the creek

dead end paranormal park

all these shows have good representation without romanticizing and promoting abuse, so i hope you enjoy them! and also hope that you do something more useful with your life than sending random people hate. have a nice day!

#“why spop?” please read my other posts and if you still dont agree with me maybe reevaluate your moral compass #spop fandom discourse #spop fandom critical #ask #just adding this here i am aware that steven universe is problematic #but it doesnt romanticize abuse and the queer representation is pretty good imo #just wanted to clarify

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whyissupernaturaltrending · 8 months

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hiii re: your most recent post, im pretty sure i remember the voice actor of spanish dub dean confirming that y yo a ti was not scripted? there was a panel a while ago where either he or the spanish dub director said it was not scripted/part of the translation but was a choice made by the team on the day based on the rest of the work they had done on the series. sort of along the lines of like, they decided to add y yo a ti bc they knew the show well and knew that's the right response for dean? i would have to dig through 2 years of my blog to find a source for this but I do remember it

ah yes! i honestly forgot about that one ksjshs. i've dug out a couple of posts: [one], [two], [three], and yes, it looks like it would've been the team's/director's choice based on that. some of the posts i linked here aren't 'official' sources, but neither are the recent posts about the translator's confirmations. though it's been almost three years and different people involved so i'm not too surpised about discrepancies

#just from personal experience - adding/removing/changing stuff as part of translation is quite common as in most cases you wouldn't be #translating word for word especially if we're talking about media etc. but i don't know much about script translating so maybe there are #different rules there. what i mean to say is that i wouldn't be surprised at all if the line was added by someone #though scripts do go through numerous changes so can't say what exactly happened there #the line could've been there in english at some point though that's obviously very much a random speculation not based on much #unfortunately i don't remember how many/if any versions of the script have been made public but might be something that could help #with clarifying stuff as well #spn trending asks

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episodes-without-incident · 2 months

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hey! listening to the recent episode (Using Animal Face Proportions to Make HUMAN Faces) i think nathan is the perpetrator for cascada? he says it a little after 10:11 (queued a little earlier for prep/video loading) if you want to check

karina calls attention to it and she definitely does cats but i just wanted to let you know! hope this is alright!

this blog is so so fun and i enjoy it immensely :D

Thanks so much! Since I didn't expect Cascada to be such an enduring bit, I never added a perpetrator tag for it. That tag is just for Cats references. So that's not a mistake!

But since the bit seems to be sticking around—do y'all want me to start tracking the perpetrator of Cascada references, too? Most likely, I would change the old tag to "cats perpetrator: name" and add a "cascada perpetrator: name" tag as well.

#I super appreciate the correction regardless! I love hearing from people (though I'm not so great at answering asks)#I'm truly just a little guy. and this way even if people don't want the tag added I know to clarify on my tag list ^-^#I discovered recently also that I was still labeling this month's references with january. but I might've been the only who caught that #not an episode count #asks

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selev-shirogane · 4 months

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The first concept of the original idea / 2022-2023

Pecky Delaink

The story is the same ( well a lil bit- ) but the most notable chance was about her family, she born in France in a very important family but they moved to usa because idk xd this ""rework"" was my urge to finally show more of how I wanted Pecky to be and her story, that's why all the clothes of her and everything about her family was ambiented in this victorian era style but being honest it had no sense with a fnaf au-- but yeah, everything of the story was the same as the previous one, she wanted to be a singer but her parents didn't supported her at all so one day she escaped from home just to take fresh air and relax after a discussion with her parents so she went to Circus Baby Pizza World and yk, everything was the same xd

The appareance changed a little bit and her personality too, her principal hairstyle was this hair drills, and always using more elegant clothes but still a little bit modern, she was still 19 years old and albino too, about her personality, she was more innocent and kind even if it was Connie or Candy, also need to clarify that in this and the previous version her best friend was Alice as always because yk, Alice best girl 🖤

Stay tunned for the next post because it will finally be her entire rework, and also with her I'll ( finally ) start uploading the changed lore of her, Connie, my own version of Michael and fnaf characters and also new characters that are very important in Pecky's and Connie's lore!!!