#this is trichotillomania not dermatillomania | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sysmedsaresexist · 7 months

Text

The Caterpillar Game

A fun way to fuck up your kids

And me trying to distract myself.

I always kind of wondered when my OCD started.

Was I born this fucked up? (Science says no)

Or was it something else? Something that happened to me?

I have a wedding in about... two weeks? I'll be attending in a dress, unfortunately, which means doing my eyebrows so I look presentable.

During the pandemic lock downs, I had to learn to do my eyebrows myself, and I'm actually really pleased to say that I'm pretty okay at it now?

Having neat eyebrows doesn't do much to help me look more masculine, but it's important, because my OCD really likes to show itself through trichotillomania.

Hair pulling.

For me, it's hair on my face, specifically chin and neck, and I'll pick and pick and pick until I'm bloody. This has gotten worse since covid because unless you're waxing and threading consistently, there's always hair there, ripe for the picking.

But I've managed, and my bank account has thanked me.

It's not perfect, though, so with a wedding looming just around the corner, I've been letting everything grow. That way, a professional can reshape my brows and then I'll repeat for another two years until I make them wonky and I'll repeat this process.

But as I sit here, struggling against every fibre of my being that tells me to pick, I wonder where this started.

How to play

Growing up, my aunt liked to play the caterpillar game.

The rules are simple.

Smack the forehead of people with a unibrow to kill the caterpillar.

There's no winning. Just smacks. Until you die.

The first time I remember this happening was when I was 6 or 7. By 8, I was threading with my mom when she would go.

My cousin, my aunt's daughter, has ruined her eyebrows. They don't grow anymore? They're very, very thin. The style of the time, but something she regrets.

Sometimes, I wonder why she doesn't struggle like I do, and then I remember that she probably is, just in different ways. At least I still have eyebrows, even if my brain wants them gone.

She has her own kids now, but they're both boys, and I hope she doesn't have anymore.

I hope she doesn't have a girl.

I hope the caterpillar game dies with us.

#personal experience #story time with SAS #Trichotillomania #ocd #actually ocd #actuallyocd #actually traumatized #adding just to clarify #this is trichotillomania not dermatillomania #when i say pick i mean pick at the tiny fuzz hairs but they're so short and fine that'll the result looks like derma

36 notes · View notes

sabertoothwalrus · 9 months

Text

I feel like BFRB’s are REALLY common despite being so stigmatized, and I wanted to see how many of you are out there :)

#polls #bfrb #body focused repetitive behavior #trich #trichotillomania #derma #dermatillomania #nail biting

5K notes · View notes

ranyakumos · 8 months

Text

recent conversation

#alba speaks #my stuff #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #the fuck you brothers #the ipod brothers

2K notes · View notes

unicornrepublic · 8 months

Text

Idk where else to put this but I just need to let y'all know. If you have any BFRBs, I really can't recommend NAC enough. I have trichotillomania, dermatillomania, and dermatophagia and they have gotten SO bad recently. Especially the trich. My psychiatrist said he saw a study that said taking N-acetyl cysteine or NAC tablets help, but none of his clients have tried it so he told me to let him know if it works.

I've only been on them for 3 weeks and I have seen such major difference, I'm pulling and biting and picking way way way less frequently now. Sometimes I feel like I go a whole day without it. I feel like I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a supplement so you don't need a prescription, I got a bottle for $8 at The Vitamin Shoppe. I take 1200 mg daily but I see some people say they need to take 1800-2400 for it to help.

After feeling out of control for so long I feel like I'm finally gaining some semblance of control back and I feel a lot happier and more confident. Now I just have to wait for everything to grow back lol. But please look into it if you haven't found anything else that works!

#bfrb #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #dermatophagia #NAC #i promise im not sponsored lmao but i wish i knew about this sooner

159 notes · View notes

youremyonlyhope · 5 months

Text

Living with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors

Me: *Is super stressed over life.*

Trichotillomania: Time to pull some hair! C'mon. You won't even notice you're doing it. It'll make you feel better.

Me: NO. *Spends 4 days putting hair in a mini twist protective style* There.

Dermatillomania: Hey. Your hands are free. And restless. And dry... Pick your skin. Bleed. Bleed.

Me: Stop! *Starts up a new crochet project to keep hands busy.* Ok cool.

Onychophagia: Hi hi. Your nails are.... perfect biting length... you should do that.

Me: Noooooooooooo *Paints nails.*

Dermatillomania: Oh look, you got some nail polish on your skin. Pick it off... now pick some more...

Me: SDJAKFDSJFKLDKAFDJKLAFJDKSAKLFDASL

#is this tmi? oh well. this is the tmi website #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #onychophagia #bfrb #body focused repetitive behavior #ocd #guys guess what? my therapist all but prescribed that i get a manicure to prevent picking at my skin #apparently after a year with this therapist i never mentioned my finger picking until this week #and she was like 'ok since you find it tough to paint them yourself get a manicure. self care and preventative'#because my cuticles are horrific due to me constantly picking at them and the sides of my fingers #so i've always been too embarrassed to go to a nail salon and my therapist was like 'exposure therapy!'#currently my nails are sloppily painted because i can't hold a brush still and they're already chipping after like 5 days #actually they probably started chipping on the second day honestly.#i need to redo my twists a bit which actually satisfies the trich urges since i'll be running my fingers through my hair to do it #but i won't actually be pulling. but also. i will be getting the shed hairs out. so. kind of fulfills that.#but right now my nails are long enough for me to feel them sometimes hit my keyboard. which. isn't normal for me.#and despite the nail polish i feel the urge to bite them shorter ahhhhh #anyway if you're Black with natural hair and have trich i HIGHLY suggest mini twists since it helps deter me from pulling #sure i have to redo it every few weeks but seriously. game changer. harder to find individual hairs to pull.

82 notes · View notes

six-of-cringe · 4 months

Text

she tillo on my tricho til i mania. is this anything

#likewise she tillo on my derma til i mania. someone get her away from me #EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER #my bald spot is growing <3 #not soc #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #ocd #shitpost

68 notes · View notes

summerof336bc · 2 years

Text

btw if you have dermatillomania or trichotillomania or onychophagia or rhinotillexomania or any other bfrb i love you & i hope you're having a great day & that you get a good night's sleep tonight

#entries #as one bfrb haver to whichever bfrb haver is reading this . i hope yr doing okay <3 #bfrb #dermatillomania #trichotillomania #onychophagia #onychotillomania #rhinotillexomania #i dont. remember the others by name off the top of my head </3 #positivity

1K notes · View notes

sabertoothwalrus · 2 years

Text

happy disability pride month to people with BFRB’s (body focused repetitive behaviors) like dermatillomania, trichotillomania, nail biters, etc

BFRB’s are so hard to spread awareness and positivity for because, at least for me, mentioning skin-picking, hair-pulling etc can often just be triggering 😩 but know there’s no shame, and they’re SO much more common than you think. I have so many ADHD friends come up to me later and say “YOU have trich too??” and like. It’s so nice knowing we’re not alone in this, it just doesn’t get talked about often.

#bfrb #derma #trich #dermatillomania #trichotillomania #disability pride month

10K notes · View notes

system-of-a-feather · 9 months

Text

I don't think I'll ever not be annoyed-amused at the Catch 22 that is OCD-BFRB and "being tired"

Cause being tired is one of the number one controlling factors to how well I can resist compulsions and impulses to engage in compulsions, the more tired I am, the more likely I am to do them

So what often happens is I am more tired than usual so I go "Hey Ill go to bed early" so I start getting ready for bed

The ISSUE is that while getting ready for bed, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and what not. The bathroom ALSO has a mirror, toe nail clippers, shavers, and scissors - all of which are moderate triggers to BFRB compulsions

I am tired so I am much more prone to doing them. I start doing one and continue doing it for an hour plus

It is no longer early

If I stop then I can sleep as planned

If I can't I will likely stay up

In the end, the next day, I am tired and so...

#alter: riku #ocd #bfrb #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #actuallyocd

71 notes · View notes

baby-anonymouse · 9 months

Text

also on the topic of bodies and mental illness, can I say how exhausting it is to wear your mental illness on your body? whether it’s self harm scars or trich hair loss or pits and ice pick scars and discoloration from skin picking or a dramatically fluctuating weight. like I’m already dealing with the intense mental load every single day, it feels really unfair that everybody gets to see that suffering on the outside, that it’s now become a public affair. ughhhhhhhhh.

#body image #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #bfrb #skin picking #eating disorders #ocd #actually ocd

68 notes · View notes

owlmylove · 2 years

Note

I saw in the notes of one of your posts that you have dermatillomania. I was recently diagnosed with that but it's been a problem for a long time. I've never met anyone else irl with dermatillomania, and I was just wondering if you could share any coping mechanisms you use? I've been getting acrylic mail manicures so I physically can't break skin but that only prevents damage. It's not helping me actually break the habit at all

lmfao oh darling. i love you for thinking i have any answers here

of course, since it's me, i do anyways

congrats on finally getting your diagnosis!! for those who don't know, Dermatillomania is a skin-picking disorder believed to affect as many as 1 out of 20 people, whether they're picking/biting at cuticles and nails, plucking hairs, popping pores or picking at scabs etc. etc. The skin-picking can be compulsive, often serving as a self-soothing behavior against extreme emotions, stress, anxiety, excess energy or simply boredom

first, check out the wonderful folks at the Picking Me Foundation, the largest nonprofit & digital resource for those with dermatillomania. Their website has an online support group, self-logging downloadables, and their "fiddle pack project," for strategically selected (and tailored for dermatillomaniacs [not sure if that's a word but i decided it is now]) $30 multipacks of stim toys!

they're 100% nonprofit, and every pack they sell is matched with the international donation of a pack to a therapist, pediatrician or fellow dermatillomaniac in need!

plus, check out #pickingme on social media for both their advice & solidarity among fellow picking enthusiasts

Picking Me has A++ strategic advice for their stim toys, and thinking strategically about your own behaviors and habits is my biggest advice. what does your picking look like? when do you find yourself doing it?

if a pattern doesn't immediately appear, try logging when & where you find yourself picking, what happened beforehand, and how you feel while doing so.

part of dermatillomania I don't always see discussed is the satisfaction of seeing your body's landscape change; picking as a control tactic, a means of self-soothing and reaffirming your autonomy and power. or it may be an expression of perfectionism, or anxiety, or beyond. pay close attention to yourself. look for the overlap. what is picking doing for you?

once you recognize the mechanisms of picking, what needs it's fulfilling, and when, and how; then you can provide new pathways for your habits to flow down; I realized I tended to pluck my brows (and beyond...) in the bathroom, so boom: stim toy in the bathroom. figure out your unique physical locations and cues and give yourself new options

also, hide or obstruct the ease of access to former habits. acrylic nails are a great personal block; I put my sharp tweezers in a wildly inconvenient place, not out in the open, so it's harder for me to casually grab them. if you bite your nails or cuticles, buy the nail polish that makes it taste gross. if you pick at inflamed pores, use zit stickers (I prefer the cheap and plentiful OG brand, COSRX, which are barely-visible circles, but you can make it fun with any of the 10 zillion novelty shape brands now available at Sephora, Target, Marshalls/T.J. Maxx & most drugstores) make picking difficult, and give yourself other options

similarly, you can challenge yourself to lovingly make growth your focus. smooth cuticle oil into your skin; use growth serums & your favorite-colored polish on your nails; for facial picking, give yourself spa days of clay masks (fun to pick off as they dry!), pore strips (SO satisfying), and scar-reducing facial oils like rosehip; for bodily picking, moisturize with lovely non-comedogenic oils and smooth Mederma or natural scar-reducing remedies to help your skin heal. put all that time and focused attention + love and gratitude into increasing, not reducing, your body (+ self)

re: gratitude, I swear to god Jessica Defino had a post about gratitude as a skincare routine; thanking your skin everyday for its work as a barrier, for it's countless built-in systems that self-exfoliate, self-moisturize, self-heal and grow, all while keeping a harmful world at bay. the skin is our largest living organ, and it is here to keep you warm and safe. your skin is built to touch and hold, to hug and be hugged. you can learn to love it the way it loves you. you can touch yourself as gently, as kindly as you deserve to be touched. this, too, is a kind of growing.

(Also to my facial & pore-picking beauties: just read any and all of Defino's articles about simplifying [like, soap water and moisturizer simplifying] your skincare, skin-fasting, the joys of touching your face gently, and more<333)

figure out what actions and textures you've become accustomed to, and, whether you have the benefit of a pack of stim toys like Pick Me's or just certain blankets, jackets, fidget jewelry, or one Really Good Rock, try to find stims that mimic, replace or even subvert the textures you've been drawn to. you want something satisfying and engaging to play with while still feeling meditative to you.

or if stim toys aren't your thing, (and even if they are!) try tactile pastimes that lead to obvious visual progress: painting, drawing, knitting, woodworking, cooking/baking!, cleaning [dishes, sheets, etc.] gardening, so on & so forth. things that prove your control & show the mark of your will wrought upon the world

the next time you find yourself wanting to pick (hopefully waylaid by an alternate hand function and/or strategic obstructions) take a mental step back. carve out that space between impulse & action. pool the feeling into your palms and examine it, tilt it around to see it catch a different light. how are you feeling right now? what's causing you to feel this way? what else could help you alleviate or accept that feeling?

if it's stress, anxiety, anger or other strong negative emotions, rest one hand over your heart, one over your lovely stomach, and take several deep yoga breaths. Long inhale through the nose, hold for a few seconds, longer exhale out. Let your throat make noise. After a few minutes, make a list of what’s worrying you and help yourself rationalize what tiny steps will help lessen their effects on you.

(Deep breaths, longer exhales and putting a hand over your heart have each individually been shown to alleviate your body's stress response, an immediate way to gift yourself some calm and a sense of safety)

if it's boredom; again, new textures and pasttimes are your friend. try going for a walk or other physical action of your choice (does not need to be long or challenging to be good for you!), listen to a podcast or new music, challenge yourself to try something new you've been wanting to explore, but can never find the time. a desire to pick can indicate you are suffering from a lack of enrichment: so yes, now is the time to try to learn the kalimba.

so, yes, it turns out i do indeed have many answers, but my initial scorn comes from any suggestion i might be above my bad habits; I've picked at my skin several times today. and that's okay. try to recognize and subvert your impulses when they happen, but also acknowledge and accept that they will happen. that's just how it goes babey. progress, not perfection.

love, luck and godspeed<33

#here we are. an OG owlmylove-length level anon response. hope ur all feeling suitably nostalgic #dermatillomania #picking me #dermatillomaniac #trichotillomania #trypophobia cw #dermatillomaniacs #owl post #reply

478 notes · View notes

thelocalweird · 5 months

Text

Yeah you support mentally ill people, but are you normal about bfrbs?

#PLEASE we're so stigmatized #and we're everywhere. its more common than you think #its NOT just a bad habit and it does NOT make you a bad person #sending hugs and kisses to everyone who struggles with a bfrb i love you guys and you all deserve happiness #<333 #bfrb #body focused repetitive behavior #dermatillomania #trichotillomania #onychophagia #rhinotillexomania #my posts

46 notes · View notes

chronic-invisibility · 2 years

Text

I hate you trichotillomania I hate you dermatillomania I hate you picking at ingrown hairs until I bleed I hate you biting my lips until they bleed I hate you scars all over my body from not being able to leave my skin alone I hate you ocd compulsions I hate you bfrb’s I hate you brain for doing this to me

#vent #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #bfrb #skin picking #hair pulling #i’ve been dealing with this shit my entire life and it fucking sucks so much

257 notes · View notes

itsahauntedhouse · 6 months

Text

thinking about a time when i was worried about being judged for my scabbed cuticles and my mum told me it wasn't dirty or gross.

so for everyone with a bfrb. you are not dirty. you are not gross. you are not ugly because of your bfrb.

#bfrb awareness #bfrb #dermatillomania #trichotillomania #dermatophagia #onychophagia #onychotillomania #rhinotillexomania #and every bfrb i missed #haunt rambles

35 notes · View notes

mentoillnesspolls · 1 year

Text

#polls #skin picking #trichotillomania #dermatillomania #ocd #mentoillnesspoll

90 notes · View notes