#absolutely zero rizz | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

birdybellicose · 10 months

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Truly watching and understanding Spiderverse is knowing that even tho Miguel is built like a brick shithouse and is conventionaly handsome, Hobie is actually the suave casanova of the group and an absolute dangerous flirt when he wants to be~!

#spiderverse #this has probs been said already #not that hobie would care hes too busy trying to bring down the parliament and i salute him #My mans just got that grade A rizz bro #absolute immaculate game got everyone fiending over just a smile #im so jealous #Miguel has like Anti-game #absolutely zero rizz #no rizz and no chill hes painful to watch #but its okay because I still love him #and his edward cullen vampire-meets-teen wolf looking ass

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bunzisntnormal · 1 year

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never in my life have i cringed as hard as i did when dally was tryna pick up cherry

#the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #dallas winston #dally winston #cherry valance #absolutely zero rizz #ur scaring the hoes #'are you real??? 🤨🤨🤨'#'i'm never nice 😈'#original post

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pxison · 7 months

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The average 124 encounter with women

#//Memes #124 is for Ichi Ni and Yon for short btw #Absolutely zero rizz

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squishosaur · 10 months

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he said yes btw 🔥🔥🔥

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lxkeeeee · 1 year

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You guys don't know how I'm in love with scaramouche/wanderer... I have 10 different one shot drafts for him and there's still more omg

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #fanfic #scaramouche genshin impact #scaramouche genshin #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche smut #scaramouche #ugh the absolute things i would do for this man #i love him so much rhag i want to cry bcuz hes nor real #but even if he's real i still canr pull him because i have zero rizz #anyways #i love him your honor #im the mosg sane scaramouche stan you'll ever see

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brainrotdotorg · 1 year

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im gonna yartz i just found out what happens if you ask alice to connect you to sylvie but kim isnt there to give you her number

27.YOU - "Change of plans, Alice -- connect me to *you*."

[Og] *680.ALICE - "What do you mean, officer? I'm not Sylvie."

[Og] *466.ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh, did you hear that? Pure lust. She's a wild one! Throw her a curve-ball, see if she's down to party.

[Og] *603.YOU - Wait, what? 'Wild one'? That doesn't sound right...

[Og] *80.ELECTROCHEMISTRY - C'mon, wake up! The way she said she's not Sylvie -- practically begging you to make a move. Just go for it.

[Og] *47.HORRIFIC NECKTIE - Yeah, bratan, otherwise you're always gonna be wondering what could've been. Just ask her!

[Og] *530.YOU - "Do you like to party, Alice?"

[Og] *428.ALICE - "Sir, you're already connected to the 57th Precinct." Her voice is sharp and noticeably less friendly.

[Og] *186.ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Odd... she didn't sound menopausal. Must be frigid or something. Oh well.

625.HORRIFIC NECKTIE - What an unbelievable prude... Oh well, at least now you know.

[Og] *350.ALICE - "Sir, how can I help you with your *investigation*?" The voice on the other end is becoming impatient.

you can also say:

529.YOU - "I feel deprived of human contact."

[Og] *118.ALICE - "Who doesn't," she states matter of factly. "Now, how can I help you in your *investigation*?"

and:

681.YOU - "I don't know, Alice... just connect me."

[Og] *290.ALICE - "Sir, you're already connected to the 57th Precinct." Her voice is sharp.

[Og] *698.ALICE - "Now, how can I help you in your *investigation*?"

[Og] *309.SUGGESTION - What is *wrong* with you? Why did you ask to be connected to her? Who *does* that?! Act professional now.

[Og] *232.VOLITION - *You* told him to do that stupid thing...

#by the way i am fucking. CRAZY for alice #i dont talk about her a lot but she is absolutely one of the characters i am most down bad for #a redhead with a sexy voice. holla at me officer demitriette #literally hearing her voice makes me squeal and giggle #harry i dont blame you for having literally zero rizz i wouldnt know what to say to her either #disco elysium

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soldier-poet-king · 6 months

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My pf 0 rizz wizard acquired a surprise gf and it's just??? Girlfriend???? Gorlfriend?????

The we are not friends I'm using you for political connections at this prestigious wizard university because you're nobility and also a Magus (wizard jock) and I think you're an easy target and a little dull -> wow you've considered me a friend this whole time and I've been an ass and also in hindsight you WERE the closest thing I had to a friend in wizard academia -> I only realize this after I break your trust by lying to your face about using you for political gain -> spending time with good hearted adventurers and not my asshole wizard master makes me realize that people normally have emotions beyond just blind ambition??? And maybe guilt is a thing and I need to learn how to be apologetic and not just a neutral selfish wizard post grad??? -> fumbles every single apology because she has had no connections outside of elf politics in a decade -> this pitiful attempt at being honest for once is apparently endearing, esp in contrast to all the machinations and manipulations -> leads to masquerade dancing even with two left feet and a dropped pair of glasses and every other cliche

There's another date??? Squeezed in amongst the political intrigue??? I'm????

Our himbo paladin is also flirting with a murderess ron swanson-esque dwarf and it is. So good.

#SOMWTIMES PLAYING SILLY PRETEND GAMES MAKES ME SUPER EMO #me irl 🤝 periklea. ABSOLUTELY ZERO RIZZ OR FLIRTING ABILITY #vilestraia campaign #ROSE I BLAME YOU FOR THIS ENTIRELY #(affectionate)#nerd gf / jock gf solidarity #anyway periklea has an actual friend for the first time in like 74 years of elf life #AND possibly she is also a gf #and it is very soft and nice and maybe they will even hold hands #on god she is gonna learn to be a better person and a better friend #i can't even flirt irl and now im fake pretend flirting with this npv #npc* who is being run obvs by the GM. who is Rose's fiance.#JOKES ASIDE THO IT WAS VERY CUTE. VERY MY BRAND OF ROMANCE.

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wishing-stones · 11 months

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don't imagine killer teasing tsundere reader? since we're on the topic? 👀

Don't imagine how you know you're in for it when he gets that... smile. The one that promises mischief. The one that means you're in for imminent teasing.

Don't imagine how he sidles up to you and flirts his face off, complimenting you, admiring you, all the sweet, pretty words you want to hear, but at the same time, you're getting hot under the collar.

Don't imagine how you posture and bluster, and it only gets that obnoxiously sultry chuckle out of him while he comments what a lovely shade that blush is on you. He thinks he should make you blush more often.

Don't imagine how he is just inside of your personal space, not too close, but still close enough that you're getting flustered by proximity.

Don't imagine how he finally decides he's had enough when you can't even form words you're so worked up. He laughingly says that he'll leave you be for now, but that... he's pretty serious about some of those things, even though it's difficult to tell what between his teasing little smile and knowing little chuckles.

Bastard.

#k answers #k don't imagines #feat. killer #delightful bastard gremlin strikes again #he's either smooth as silk or has absolutely zero rizz there's no in between #unfortunately even his garbage tier flirting is enough to get under your skin

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marbleheavy · 5 months

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having a pretty girl moment at this olive garden and i am stoned out of my mind

#marble woes #like absolutely zero rizz mom too

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tropotropotropo · 11 months

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I want to gnaw on edred like a chewtoy

#peak character #absolutely pathetic #ultimate wet cat #meow meow to the max #zero rizz #unicorn warriors eternal #edred

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sixquarksinatrenchcoat · 7 months

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gojo satoru is like the hydra of "x f!reader" fic being posted to the main tag. every time u block one blog 2 more pop up to take its place

#gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #my boy rly brings out the horniest people imaginary like #is he sexy? yes but does he fuck? absolutely not #and certainly not with women #gojo 🤝 gideon: being gay sexy and having zero rizz

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glitterock · 9 months

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i fear i’ve forgotten how to use dating apps

#like i’ve been off them so long and have just been meeting ppl off the apps so now when i try and use them i have absolutely ZERO rizz #trynna find a buddy for when im in london and NO ONE IS MATHCING WITH ME? AM I JUST A LONDON 0?

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mello-when-hi · 9 months

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had a dream that I showed a cute girl my blog but for some reason I showed her this one instead of my main which is Far more normal??? Anyway she takes one look at it and says, “‘oh, you’re the delulu girl! :D’ and I just about screamed.

#I have absolutely zero rizz who tf shows their blog as a flex?????

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seungbinbin · 1 year

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MY FRIENDS ALL SLANDERING MY NAME RN WDYM ALPHA CHAN WHAT DID I DO