#absence of fear
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Absence of Fear
By bugstories
Five years after high school Brittany and Santana were happy. They had each other and everything else they could wish for... but when everything suddenly falls apart, how much time is there to fix it? Warning: Character death.
Rated: Fiction M
Genre: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Santana L., Brittany P.
Status: Complete
Chapters: 14
Words: 76,908
Published: Sep 26, 2011
Updated: Mar 9, 2017
Adaptation as original novel:
Hold My Hand
Bethany is heartbroken when her girlfriend, Savannah, dumps her with no explanation. Slowly, she rebuilds her life, meets Amber and begins to heal. A year later they meet again and their feelings are as strong as ever. So why did Savannah leave her? Bethany is devastated by the answer and realises she will lose Savannah again – to cancer. In a world where time is fleeting but love lasts forever, Savannah and Bethany can only hold onto each other and live every dream they ever shared.
Chapters: 14
Pages: 204
Published: March 3, 2017 (Paperback) / March 15, 2017 (Kindle)
#Absence of Fear#By bugstories#bugstories#santana lopez#brittany s. pierce#brittany pierce#Brittana#brittana fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#brittana fanfiction
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Courage
Courage is not the absence of fear.JESUS reminds us not to fear because He knows we are fearful. Human (flesh) is fearful.
Like Christian martyrs who were not afraid to die though they were not born brave. They became brave (strong) because of adversities/obstacles they overcame.And, they were not afraid facing death because they were full of faith that they will be with God in heaven.
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There is this hunger
This restlessness inside of me
And it knows that you're no stranger
You're my gravity
My hands will adore you through all darkness and
They will lay you out in moonlight
And reinvent your name
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Some interesting similarities between the forms of Falling Devil and Darkness Devil.
There’s the use of multiple bodies to create a singular form, the angular shapes, the mantis-leg-like appendages, the sheer height.
These two also share very strong hand motifs, which makes sense for both of them: when it’s dark, you have to feel your way around, usually with your hands; when you’re falling, you try to grab onto something with your hands.
I’m curious to see if the other Primals look anything like these two.
#chainsaw man#csm 123#csm meta#darkness devil#falling devil#csm spoilers#csm manga spoilers#csm part 2 spoilers#csm 123 spoilers#there isn’t a particular Point to this post really but#I just enjoy the symbolism Fujimoto has in his designs#like. how the fuck do you physicalize the fear of darkness. or falling. they’re both concepts characterized by absence.#also the fact that darkness and falling are both metaphors for despair/depression#saying you’re in a dark place or your heart dropped/sank or that you’re in a deep dark hole#Fujimoto you’ve done it again!!!#body horror cw#oryginals#ACK forgot alt text sorry y’all I fixed it
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So the students of Amity Park have noticed that when Danny Fenton runs to the bathroom a ghost almost always appears right after, right? Right. And eventually it becomes commonplace for them to mentally prepare themselves and to pack up their stuff when Fenton rushes out the classroom.
BUT
What about the few times where nothing happens? Cause now you've got this classroom full of kids who just automatically shove their papers into their backpacks and just...wait. They sit there, maybe making jokes about who's going to show up and at first it's all easy going but then. Then the anticipation starts to get to them. It's that nerve-wracking feeling of Knowing something should be happening But It's Not.
There's a slight buzz of nervous energy by the 5 minute mark where nothing has happened yet. It sets them on edge. Everyone is silent, shifting their gazes from the windows, the clock, the door, trying to spot anything of the usual. There's absolutely nothing.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#amity parkers#danny's ghost-sensing bladder#the special fear that comes from an absence of routine#idk it just sounds neat#and is a really cool thing to imagine#cause it's a side of unsettling fear that isn't used often in media#but amity parkers would definitely be affected by#because they are SO USED to everything that goes on around them#so to suddenly have something NOT happen where it almost ALWAYS did#would at the very least catch their attention
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Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Manon, Ballerina
#Antoine de Saint-Exupéry#Manon#Ballerina#absence#existence#fear#hurt#love#risk#french#writer#play#classics#classic literature#classic#dark academia#quotes#spilled words#spilled thoughts#dark aesthetic#text#book quotes#words#words words words#dark acadamia aesthetic#quote#quoteoftheday#beautiful quote#life quotes#dark academia aesthetic
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I say this in the best way, but your characters feel like they're from an obscure but really good piece of media, and you feel like the artist who always draws the two main characters as ghay lovers
.
#that's actually a really flattering thing to hear!#and I get what you mean#every now and then someone mistakes my art as fanart of some piece of media#that they don't recognize but like the art anyway#I wish I had the product to give to you#a graphic novel or a webtoon or a written narrative#I fear there's a hole the shape of the main story in my work#and even though I allude to it and talk about it in the safety of the tags#it's kind of frustrating that you have to piece it together from the scattered bits of lore#instead of reading ~the thing~ digesting it and knowing you have consumed the story in it's intended form#this got a little off track#I think it's so motivating and rewarding that you're interested in my characters to begin with#even in the absence of a proper finalized work of fiction that ties all the art together#answered#anonymous#imagine a reality where they aren't lovers in the canon work but I just ship them really hard#even better if they aren't even the protagonists but some inconsequential side characters#that get two minutes of screen time every other episode and barely ever in the same scene
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The way people view Bing-mei as a villain for having an appropriate (and I’d argue it’s actually pretty damn tame) reaction to being an abuse victim needs to be studied as a critique of how society very easily turns against victims who do not appropriately perform victimhood. In the story, the cultivation world outside of Cang Qiong Mountain are in the dark about how Luo Binghe was treated pre-Abyss, but we the audience know! We know he was abused horrifically for his first 14 years of life, 4 of those years under his shizun. Three years of kindness before being kicked into hell is not going to erase the scars left by that abuse. And just because we the audience also know that Shen Yuan’s Shen Qingqiu was not responsible for those first 4 years of Luo Binghe’s life as a disciple, that does not mean that he is let off the hook for them as the person assuming Shen Qingqiu’s identity, let alone the fact that he is the one who still forces Luo Binghe into the abyss, not Shen Jiu.
Meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu, himself, knows that he wronged Luo Binghe and spends the rest of the novel attempting to make up for it. After all, the abyss, itself, and that final act of betrayal are a point of trauma on their own level above those previous years of mistreatment combined. Shen Qingqiu never absolves himself of his actions the way fandom does for him, but the fact that he feared Luo Binghe’s retribution is somehow enough to flip who the victim is and who the abuser is in too many people’s minds. Even Bing-ge and Shen Jiu get this treatment: people act like because Bing-ge allowed his resentment to consume him in his thirst for vengeance that this not only absolves Shen Jiu of the grotesque abuse he subjected a 10-year-old to for 7 years in an attempt to kill him but that it also makes Shen Jiu the “ultimate victim” of the relationship rather than the reaper of the seeds of abuse he sowed. Cause as we all know, vengeance makes a villain, but somehow baseless abuse does not (🙄).
People take fear (or claims of it) as the sign of “true victimhood” while anger is assigned as an “abuser emotion,” especially in cases of abuse where the abuser is well-liked, and I see this sort of idea in the stated reasoning behind 95% of the Luo Binghe hate.
#svsss#which is funny because in the other mxtx novels#i see people argue that the *absence* of anger or hate from an abuse victim#means the abuse just never occurred#so this truly only depends on whether the abuser is well-liked or not#also sqq fears lbh’s anger and rejection#way more than he fears pain or death#he is just not honest about this until the end#he doesn’t want to directly face post-abyss lbh#because he does not want to see him upset
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catboy
indeed (day 4)
#f&h#f&h daan#f&h termina#fear and hunger#fear and hunger daan#fear and hunger termina#daan von dutch#fear and hunger termina daan#f&h termina daan#pocketcat#? unsure if i should tag it pocketcat#apologies for the absence btw i caught something and am incredibly sick.. i promise day 5 will come out eventually#i just need to not feel like im dying first lol#daily#ask
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otome isekai where someone ace is reincarnated as a harem protagonist and throughout the game her only goal is to get rid of every single love interest and end up in a nunnery
#let's redefine what a bad ending means in context to the heroine's desires and fears#one girl's happy ending as a trophy wife with a dozen children can be another girl's personal hell#the sequel would be about her reforming the church bc all the hot clerics don't take their celibracy vow seriously and keep harrassing her#isekai#concepts#there's no contract marriage to a cold duke of the north to escape an engagement with the crown prince#she just straight up makes up a man she's promised to and puts on a wig when she challenges the prince to a duell for her hand#her performance is so convincing that the crown prince vows vengeance for the humiliation he received#and plans to attack said fiance's nonexistent country#he chases a phantom for the rest of his life while the og 'villainess' takes care of his country in his absence and becomes defacto ruler
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heyyyyyy im home 😊 (standing at the door with my shoes in my hand and last nights dress still on)
#🎀#partying with princess is a death wish i fear#this is how i turned up on the doorstep at 8am#but i’m back pardon the absence
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*shows up to therapy looking like a normal person* something is wrong. listen LISTEN something is wrong anna what is this feeling please i'm dy- ...what do you mean this is 'feeling content'
#alex yells at the void#just. waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always does and probably always will#if you were forced to make a home in fear then the absence of it will feel like danger
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do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?
that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.
maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.
like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.
he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.
of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.
so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.
of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.
just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.
#will byers#byler#mine#long post#will#anyway. this is how i always interpreted the i hate WHO i am line especially in conjunction with the word ''mistake'' + being different#within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative#bc rly. if you were will.... wouldn't you feel like a mistake? even outside of that outside of the supernatural i'm speaking to my#friends that have ''Something Wrong'' with them. when something happens to you and you're not the same after and you're surrounded#by people who are able to move on and be normal—don't you ever have those moments where you feel like a mistake? when you're#growing up and still interested in your same old interests but your friends start moving on and then you see that they went back to#those interests in your absence—don't you feel like you were the problem then? when people are able to be brave and you can't#find it within yourself to overcome your fear—don't you hate that feeling? don't you feel that negativity towards yourself when you#know that you SHOULD do something but you can't bring yourself to and it works against yourself? like. everything that has happened#to will E V E R Y T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!! can easily make anyone no matter what part of him you relate to the most understand that#u kno wht i mean? anyway. i jus wanted to bring this up bc his life is a fucking tragedy even without the gay stuff n his current pov on th#and the way that That conversation always centers on fear and bravery it's like. obviously being gay is not easy in that era but i don't#think that line is ''i hate being gay'' with no factoring in of the great many things that have happened to him which alienate him further#as well as with how he does want mike to know and his alan turing poster and his talk with jonathan etc etc#his conflict has always centered around how other people treat him and his issue with that bc that's what makes him feel bad#that just because he's different that doesn't mean that he's Different and must be treated as such#he's different and has people that make him feel BETTER for it like look at s2 for example all of those talks abt using what he perceives#as a weakness abt himself as a strength that no one else can bring to the table. and in s3 when he still believed in being a nerd#and never getting girlfriends etc but when it came from mike thts when he called himself stupid n started down this path bc now#there's that sprinkle of doubt. n tht doubt is the scariest thing in the world—understandably so#also. he literally has an evil monster in his brain like bdkfjhsbkdjhfbskj IT'S JUST A LOT.#he is different for many reasons and has even more reasons to hate Who he is the kind of person that he is#jus my take 😁👍
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trying to put my finger on what was different about the statement in episode 8 of protocol and. it just hit me. this is the first one we've gotten where the statement giver is afraid.
#there is a post somewhere about how protocol is about the ABSENCE of fear which is really fascinating to me#cannot find it for the life of me though#tmagp#the magnus protocol#magpod#words of wyrm
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no wonder simons depressed he can't get bitches irl or in his schizophrenic delusions
#cry of fear#WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE ROOFTOP SCENE HELLO?????#that simon henriksson guy I guess#cheap ass doodle to fill in my recent absence#if I was Simon I would kms too imagine this happening TWICE
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world's first fujoshi ventriloquist in the 40s
#doodles#fear and hunger oc#rui | ventriloquist#i've been learning rpgmv to explain my half-absence#puppet has no name yet
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