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pedgito · 4 months

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𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄, 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘, 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇 | BFD!Joel x Fem!Reader

summary | the rich father of your bestfriend, sarah — joel miller, was a mystery to you until one day he isn't and you quickly find that your interest in him isn't one-sided. [12k]

pairing | joel miller x fem!reader

content warning | 18+ content, as always: no use of y/n, au/no outbreak, bfd!joel, ceo!joel, mentions of reader growing up poor/absent parents (joel is ridiculously loaded, it's fic y'all let me live lol), sneaking around, age gap (not explicitly specified, but reader is in final year of college and joel is probs late 40s/50s), vacations, gift-giving, unprotected piv, come swallowing, daddy issues if you squint, one (1) pussy slap, oral (f receiving), semi-public fucking

author’s note | anyways, here’s this. big age gap, some power dynamic stuff but not really. if you don’t like, don’t read & all that jazz. love you babies. xo.

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic recs

There was no hiding who Joel Miller was to the town of Austin—a pioneer in the community for rebuilding and building upon the surrounding shopping areas and neighborhoods to save the town from complete gentrification. He owned three companies at this point—one manned by his brother Tommy who dealt with larger businesses, handled the biggest amount of workload when it came to dealing with customers. The other was handled by his wife Maria, more often communicating with smaller businesses in the area. Mom and Pop shops, family owned and locally sourced shops. And Joel dealt with the community directly, building houses at an affordable rate that kept his business booming and well above the surrounding competition.

He was so sought after that the idea of him felt like an enigma.

But, to you—he was just Sarah’s dad. For years you never had the pleasure of meeting him, with his constantly busy schedule he was often away when you came to visit Sarah on their massive—almost too comically large piece of land on the outskirts of Austin, Texas.

A large two-story farmhouse that seemed like something right out of a storybook—pristine and in perfect condition, surrounded by what felt like miles of grassy land and fencing. Horses, chickens, goats, growing piglets that were taken care of by Sarah and Joel themselves.

You’ve known Sarah since you were fourteen, aware of her upbringing and the type of family she came from, but it never deterred her from being the kindest friend you’ve had. And your shared, similar interest led to an easy friendship that lasted well into college. Sarah was also aware of your…less than ideal family situation, living under the roof of a single parent household, given you were an only child it wasn’t horrible—but your father was a drunk and didn’t manage his money well and that often meant going without. It didn’t matter what, but there was always something lacking that you wish you didn’t have to make up for with your already overwhelming amount of college work and lingering debt.

You didn’t have anywhere to go, unfortunately.

But, Sarah was always there.

And it isn’t until your final year of college that you find yourself finally meeting the once mysterious Joel Miller, remembering that Sarah told you something about how he was trying to take a step back, allowing more responsibility on his trusting employees to head the company while he took a step back and managed everything as a whole from a distance—less involved, more time at home around Sarah, it was a win win situation.

With both of you working toward similar degrees, it was helpful and convenient to share notes and study as often as you could, especially as your final term papers were nearing and looming like a dark cloud.

It’s an unsuspecting Thursday night when you and Sarah are pausing the heavy studying to cook a quick dinner when Joel walks into the kitchen, approaching the island and nearly tilting your entire existence on this earth on an axis. Your breath catches briefly, eyes dragging over his figure. You’ve seen pictures—family vacations that Sarah has shown you when they were flying across the country over summer breaks and you were stuck at home.

But, nothing compared to the real thing.

His hair is grown out, curling around his ears. A warm, soft brown that is styled and shaped so perfectly it seems unreal—but the loose curl that falls over his forehead gives it away. There’s a deep cut in his silk-pressed shirt that hangs loosely on his frame, some abstract pattern that shouldn’t work as well as it does on him, but his tan skin compliments the deep tones and varying designs. The faint dusting of chest hair is obscured by the chains that hang in the space the silk-button up creates where he lacks the ability to fasten them, or rather chooses not to.

And you try not to let your gaze linger on the cut of his jeans as they cling snug to his legs, cuffed at the ankles and showcasing a pair of—what you can only suspect are new loafers. A dark chocolate brown accented with a gold metal piece along the center to complement his jewelry around his neck and the few rings placed meticulously on his fingers.

It’s no secret his ring finger sits untouched, lacking the heavy weight of a significant other's mark. Sarah mentioned her mom dying young, much like your own—maybe that’s why you two bonded so easily.

“Got enough for your old man?” Joel questions curiously, tapping away at his phone meticulously before pocketing it, eyebrows raised in question.

“You hate boxed mac and cheese,” Sarah argues flippantly, flicking the empty box at her father across the counter, “so no, I don’t.”

“No, babygirl—I just hate the powder kind.” He flicks it back just as easily and you note how easy their relationship feels, like this is how things should be.

Sarah laughs, scrunching her nose up in amusement. “Charming, isn’t he?”

Oh—she’s talking to you? You look at her for half a second, confused, before you’re quickly nodding in agreement without fully listening to what she had asked.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to lie.” She assures, stirring the noodles in the pot over the stove.

Your gaze lingers selfishly, catching the faint twitch of a smile on Joel’s face as he catches you looking. It’s nothing more than a friendly smile, comforting rather than disarming.

“You know—Sarah never brings her friends around.” Joel starts begrudgingly, eyeing Sarah down before switching to you, “Seein’ as I’ve been hearing all about you for years now and I’m just now meetin’ you in the flesh.”

“Dad, stop scaring her.” Sarah gripes, searching around haphazardly for a couple of bowls, “seriously—just ignore him. He doesn’t know how to act now that he’s home more.”

Joel rolls his eyes dismissively, extending his hand in a kind gesture. You grab it hesitantly and he senses it, pointer finger dragging along the underside of your palm as he holds it delicately and bows his head.

“She’s just mad she can’t get rid of me now,” Joel tells you softly, nodding toward Sarah over your shoulder, “how’s the studying goin’?”

He doesn’t let go of your hand immediately and you don’t try to escape either, allowing the brief moment of lingering contact before you slip it away, shoving your hands into your back pockets.

“Fine.” Sarah’s response is clipped.

It’s stressful, if you’re being honest. But, you could see that Sarah didn’t want to relay that to her father, side-eyeing you wearily.

It’s the first of many interactions that led to the tiny crush you began to have for Joel Miller. Your once a week studies eventually turn into two or three times a week, desperate to spend as much time away from your own home situation as possible.

Eventually, it’s nearly an everyday thing. You and Sarah would finish your day of classes and drive the short distance to her house and spend most of the night studying. Gradually, you were introduced into their own routine. At first, Joel would offer to buy dinner and leave things be, allowing you the space you needed. But, it eventually delves into weekly dinners and sitting down as if you were a part of this pseudo-family situation you’ve interjected yourself into.

Sarah knew you didn’t like it at home, so it was never a problem. Joel caught on after a few weeks—noticing how you avoided any questions about yourself, your family, anything that would allow him any glimpse into who you were outside what Sarah had told him, which wasn’t much at all. He’s trying to make you feel welcomed and you can appreciate that.

You’ve offered to help pay for meals on multiple occasions, but it never works. Quickly thwarted off by Joel’s extended hand as he shoves your cash away, assuring you that it wasn’t your responsibility. This was his house, his gesture, and he didn’t want you to think you owed him anything.

Yet, something in you yearned to do so.

You wanted him to know just how grateful you were.

His curiosity about you comes to a head on a night after a few beers with friends, poker table trashed and the kitchen a mess. You were bringing down the trash from Sarah’s room, the shared dinner you two had had as a treat for your first day without studying—it was relaxing, mostly because your day had been spent here rather than home.

Joel gathers a few bottles in his large palm, slipping the lips of the bottle through spread fingers. “You two enjoyin’ yourselves?” He asks, looking at you casually. It was a question you’ve heard often, a simple conversation starter. And talking to Joel was much easier now.

You nod, lips pulled into a tight smile. “Yes, Mr. Miller.”

“C’mon now,” Joel jests, dropping the bottles into the trash, “none of that—it’s Joel. Shit makes me feel old, darlin’.”

The nickname wasn’t new either. He often called Sarah by her name or babygirl.

Darlin’ though, it was all you.

He takes the dirty plates from your hands and places them in the sink, palm extended against the ledge of the counter while he rests his other hand against his hip.

“How are you doin’?” He asks, voice softer but still gruff. “Not that you have to tell me, I just want to make sure you’re feelin’ comfortable here.”

“I’m okay,” You say through an unsure smile that Joel notes but doesn’t press on, “it’s just easier to study here—I’m sorry if I spend too much time around here. Feels like you should be charging me rent by now.”

“Not a chance in hell, darlin’.” Joel grins, shiny white teeth showing behind his smile. The small bit of his shirt that was tucked in came loose by the rub of his fingers at his hip and drawing your eyes to the skin briefly, “you’re always welcome here.”

And you hate the way you crave even an inkling of physical contact from him. A pat on the shoulder, a hug, a fucking kiss on the forehead. You weren’t his daughter, you didn’t want to be. But, there was something about Joel that you couldn’t pull away from, trying your best to keep it at bay.

“You know what,” Joel says suddenly, pulling your lingering gaze back on his face, feeling guilty as you chewed on your bottom lip, “why don’t you come on vacation with Sarah and I next month?’

“Mr—Joel, that’s—” You’re quickly silenced by his hand actually pressing against your shoulder now—and fuck, when had he gotten so close?

“Sarah was thinkin’ about asking you anyways. We’re gonna take a trip to the Keys,” He rubs gently at the junction in your shoulder, the thick expanse of his thumb pressed against bare skin, “—just consider it, alright? Lord knows you both need a break as much as I do.”

The thing about Joel is that he was such a good father, something you haven’t been privy to in the couple decades and some few years you’ve been alive. You want to feel jealous and angry, spiteful that this was something you couldn’t have naturally. But, it feels nothing like that.

The crush you had on Joel was dangerous. But, that was all it was. A craving to be around Joel, to seek his approval and gain his trust. And bask in the care he provides. A simple case of daddy issues that you couldn’t admit to yourself was actually happening.

You shouldn’t entertain the idea.

You shouldn’t even consider it.

“Oh—okay. Yeah, as long as Sarah is alright with that.” You nod, a genuine, soft smile stretching across your face. Joel squeezes your shoulder tighter and you swear you feel it moving in closer, like he wants to hold you closer, cradle you in his hands. But, then the touch is gone and his fingers are running through his hair, curls separating through his fingertips.

“Alright then.” Joel says triumphantly, “You gonna be okay gettin’ home tonight?”

Sarah was driving you home soon, like usual. You nod.

“Good,” Joel nods, “Goodnight, darlin’.”

“Goodnight, Joel.” You say sweetly, patting your hand against the countertop softly, unable to spare a look his way as you walk in the opposite direction.

But, he can’t help his own fleeting and inappropriate thoughts, eyes dragging along your figure as you walk away, hands gripping the countertop like a vice, internally kicking himself how indecent he was allowing himself to think about you. Still, it didn’t stop the thoughts from flooding in and if he found himself spread out on his sheets that night, cock held tight in his hands as he fucked himself into his fist—well, he could repent for it some other time.

You touch down in the early morning on a Sunday, still riddled with anxiety from the plane ride. Joel had tried his best to accommodate, even buying first class tickets despite his usual tendency to go business. He didn’t care much for amenities but he wanted to treat Sarah and you, making you feel guilty with how quickly your face lit up at the sight. Spacious seats stocked with gifts and snacks, a tiny television molded into the area, it felt like too much.

It was. But, Joel assured you it wasn’t.

There was little planned for the week you had to spend there and you had tried to scrounge up a little cash within the month you had to save, picking up a few extra shifts at your job and stowing it away for this—hoping you could treat yourself to something, anything. Even if it was just a stupid tourist shirt that cost an egregious amount of money.

Joel quickly snuffs out that idea, putting his foot down as he assured you that this trip was a treat. Not just for himself, but for all of you. You never asked how much money the Miller’s had, but it was clearly more than you could ever fathom to be imaginable. He yanks the black Amex from his wallet and hands it off to every waiting server and store owner you three come across.

It’s abundantly clear that they don’t worry about money in the sense that you do—it wasn’t unwelcomed, but it was an adjustment that took a couple days to get over, feeling shame for enjoying it. He’d paid for the plane fare, booked the hotels and the activities you had planned, made sure meals were paid for and then some, even allowing you and Sarah some spending money to go shopping for clothes or whatever you needed.

He didn’t ask, it didn’t matter. He just wanted you to feel welcomed. Like family…or something.

The trip is fairly harmless fun, a few swimming activities that tire you all out and lend to an early turn in on a couple nights, dinners that lended you to learn a lot more about Joel. Still, as much as Joel tried, you weren’t as open. Vague answers, sidewaying the conversation. He didn’t try to pry, though. And you were thankful for that.

But, with fairly harmless came a few instances that didn’t feel so.

The first comes in the deep end of the ocean, floating on a shared longboard in the midst of the calm waves, humid heat sticking to your skin. Fingers fiddling with the loosening tie around the back of your neck as Sarah wades off to the shore for a brief minute to reapply sunscreen. And maybe you shouldn’t have asked, but you see the lingering look Joel gives you, fingers curling subtly against the edge of the board.

“Can you help me?” You ask, slowly edging around the board until you’re beside him, turning before he has the opportunity to answer. “It’s hard to get it tight on my own.”

Joel clears his throat and offers a smile, “‘Course, chin down for me?” And you follow his lead, feeling his fingers brush against your neck and guide your head down, untying the loose not completely and feeling your swim top go slack, covered by the safety of the water and your back turned to him, but it doesn’t stop the touch of his fingertips against your skin as he ties the knot and tugs slightly, assuring that it was secure to his liking. You lift your head slowly when you feel his palm press flat against your back, fingers curling around the point where your shoulder meets your neck.

“Thanks, Joel.” You turn your head over your shoulder to look back at him, earning a small nod as his touch lingers, only loosening when you rescue your grip on the longboard in front of you.

“Enjoyin’ yourself so far?” He asks, always able to ease into steady conversation without missing a beat. “Any complaints?”

“Definitely,” You smile wide, huffing soft laugh through your nose as you shake your head, “I guess I do have one complaint, actually.” You tell him honestly, a subtle nervousness to your voice.

“Well, I’m all ears, darlin’.” He responds, leaning his elbow onto the board as it bobbed slightly.

“I just…you don’t have to pay for everything, Joel.” You find yourself rushing out the words, hoping that it wouldn’t cause an adverse reaction, but instead, Joel smiles wider.

“Look, I invited you on this trip,” Joel explains, “and that means you aren’t paying for a damn thing. Alright?”

You nod meekly, quieting down as Sarah waded back into the ocean toward you both.

With Joel, it was something you would have to learn to accept.

You try to ignore the lingering touch of his fingertips on your neck, but now it feels like a burn in your skin that would only get worse as time went on.

The second instance isn’t as much of a thing, rather than a moment.

Eyeing a sundress that resembled some of the similar outrageous patterning that Joel wore, shapes and blobs morphed around the material yet somehow managing to look chicer than anything you’ve ever come across, strappy and long and deep cut down the center. It wasn’t for modesty, you could assume that much. You run your fingers along the creases and stitching in the fabric, admiring it as you flipped the tag in your hand, immediately gawking at the price.

Joel had been lingering by, browsing the various knick knacks and souvenirs lining the shelves off the small store—all hand-made pieces that he could appreciate, but didn’t find any use for himself. And he’s watching you, has been for a while, noticing the way your eyes kept flicking back toward the dress despite your path around the store.

Joel casually follows the same path, taking a subtle peek at the tag. It was a few hundred dollars, but given the silkiness of the material and him being very familiar with the tone of pricing around the area, it wasn’t an outrageous ask. He slips the dress off the rack, careful as he removes it off the hanger and finds you separated from Sarah as you peruse down a wall of jewelry—some cheap and some not, looking around with no real want, just admiring.

He slips the dress into your hands, rough, overworked palms cupping your own as he makes you physically wrap your fingers around and claim the garment, chest to your back as he speaks, lips a hair's breadth away from your ear.

“It’s a pretty dress,” Joel says calmly, much calmer than your rapidly beating heart and the sudden uptick in your breathing, silk material spread out over your fingertips, “shame for it to go to waste, darlin’.”

“It’s expensive.” You argue, voice soft as he locks eyes with you in the mirror nestled in the nearest corner, “It’s nice to want things Joel, but I don’t need it.”

“I dunno,” He responds, unconvinced, “and—maybe I’m speaking out of turn but I think it’d look great on you.”

And you’ve never been more thankful of Sarah’s obliviousness to certain things, so wrapped up in her own shopping across the store that you two remained unsuspecting, eyes still locked on one another through the shared mirror.

He can see the way your body twitches at the comment, responds, but what he doesn’t understand is how it makes your cunt throb, solid body pressed against your back as he squeezes the backside of your hands with his palm. The willingness of contact was still fresh and new but it never made you feel unsafe—in fact, it had the opposite effect entirely.

Joel speaks again, directly to you in the mirror.

“I might just have to buy it for you, darlin’.” He says quietly, “You alright with that?”

You hesitate for a moment, but nod shakily. “Thank you, Joel.”

“Don’t need to keep thankin’ me.” Joel assures, “I know it’s implied.”

But, the instance that had you reeling for days after, still replaying it vividly in your mind, was a night near the end of your trip. Sarah had long gone to bed and you, riddled by insomnia, find yourself at the hallway vending machine, looking for a snack to cure your growing hunger.

Though, it seemed that Joel had the same idea—fork halfway into his mouth as he turned the corner, a sizable piece of chocolate cake inside of a small to-go tray, looking even guiltier as he caught sight of you, feeling like he really didn’t want to get caught like this. It makes you laugh into the palm of your hand. Joel is acting like the kid that got sneaking cookies in the middle of the night, still not hesitating to lick the fork clean as he tucked it away in the styrofoam box.

“Don’t tell Sarah,” He swears you to secrecy, “she’s already on my ass enough about my sugar intake.”

“You’ve got a sweet tooth,” You shrug, “nothing wrong with that.”

“What about you, huh?” Joel’s eyebrows raise in question, watching as you peruse the various snacks but not finding anything particularly appetizing. “Late night snack?”

“Somethin’ like that.” You chew at your bottom lip, feeling that this was useless.

“Wanna share it?” Joel asks suddenly, pulling your attention to him immediately. “That way I feel a little less guilty about it.”

“Oh—and then bring me down with you?” You tease lightly, “Of course.”

It’s how you end up in Joel’s room that night, no other intentions than to share that stupid piece of cake, lacking a fork so you trade off for a few bites until it slowly delves into you both feeding each other as you talk, one of you hogging the fork more than the other. You curled up in one chair and Joel relaxed out in the other, styrofoam box held to his chest and forcing you to lean closer to assure you didn’t drop crumbs everywhere.

Maybe it should feel weird, but it doesn’t.

“You know—if there’s anything you do need—” Joel begins after a while, meaningless conversation having died out.

“I know—Sarah tells me all the time. I just have to ask.” It feels pointless, rehashing things again. But, Joel feels the need to reassure and comfort. It didn’t help that he was finding himself, at his age, attracted to you in such a depraved way. “I will—if I do, I mean.”

It’s forbidden territory he couldn’t cross. But realistically, that only made him want you more.

Joel feeds you a slow bite, lips catching over the fork but smearing a copious amount of chocolate frosting on your chin. Before you have the thought process to wipe it away Joel is already there, leaning forward in his chair as he uses his pointer finger to clean you up, eyes following his movements carefully after the first initiation of touch.

Your breath catches in your throat, expecting him to use his own mouth to disallow wasting the frosting, but instead he raises it to your mouth in a split decision, his eyes dilating slightly under your shy gaze. Your lips press against the side of his finger in a gentle kiss that quickly spreads, taking the full length of his finger into your mouth as you lick away the excess frosting, feeling the pulse of desire in your belly as it grew, knowing that if Joel wanted to keep you there he could, locked under his gaze with his fingers stuffed into your mouth and you’d let him.

It was despicable. Inappropriate and wrong. But, you couldn’t help how badly your body wanted him, despite your brain telling all of this was a horrible decision.

You pull your mouth away with a soft pop, watching as Joel curl’s his hands into tight fists as he pulls them back to his side lazily, seeming more tense now.

“I should go.” You say softly, terrified to disturb this moment and the tension that blanketed it.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea, darlin’.” Joel says reluctantly.

Things only get worse from then on—and maybe worse is a strong word. But, it soon turns into a game that neither of you can stop, waiting until one of you finally makes the wrong move.

A few weeks later and your laptop takes the shit on a random Tuesday, head buried in your hands as Sarah tries to console you, but it isn’t much use. You knew it was a stretch to think the laptop could last you through the entire semester, and with just a few short months left, it couldn’t be worse timing.

Joel walks in at your inconvenience, keys jingling in his hands as he slips off his leather peacoat, glancing at Sarah who didn’t give him much to go off of. He folds the jacket over the back of an empty dining chair and rests his hands against the top of it, eyes scanning over the both of you at the table, one looking a little more distraught than the other.

“Everything alright?” He asks curiously, earning a subtle head shake from Sarah. He clears his throat, “Or—uh, well, how is the studying going? Feel like that’s all you two do.”

You rub a frustrated hand over your face and sigh, “I’m gonna see if I can get a ride home or something,” You tell Sarah, sliding your phone off of the table, “I’ll deal with this later.”

Joel and Sarah share a quick look of communication, her hand waving toward you sharply, forcing Joel to speak up before you make another rash decision and spend money on a long ride home when had the perfect opportunity standing right in front of you.

“I can give you a ride home.” Joel offers, much to your surprise.

You’ve been alone with Joel a lot now, though inadvertently.

Sarah would sneak away in her room for longer stretches of time just to call her boyfriend—which wasn’t a bad thing, but it felt odd when Joel would come home and there was no one to greet him but you. Still, you stretched your lips into a smile and welcomed him sweetly.

Even if this was his home.

Or times when you just happened to cross each other's path, even in such a large space. Sometimes the front porch when you were taking a break to stretch your legs, his watchful gaze dragging along your figure as he sipped on a hot cup of coffee in the evening, foot stabilized on the deck as he rocked in the wooden swing he sat on, crickets chirping loudly as the sun set.

Or just a simple trip to the bathroom, his bedroom across the hall and a couple doors down, often shut, but there were moments when you opened the doors, nearly face to face, and neither of you could look away. Joel would clear his throat, excuse himself, and kindly gesture for you to walk first. It happened often, too often—but neither of you addressed it. Instead, the tension grew. And grew. Until it felt like poking a sleeping bear. So it hibernated in both of you quietly.

Part of you expected things to change, that the small moment shared in his hotel room would make things hard to navigate, but if anything—it’s easier.

“Okay.” You agree easily, not having the proper energy to fight him over it.

The ride is quiet for the most part and Joel doesn’t need the step by step directions as he knows this town like the back of his hand, but he makes a wrong turn somewhere between his house and yours and you don’t feel like something is wrong, but it definitely feels off.

“Joel, you missed the last left.” You speak up as he continues down the road, glancing around leisurely as you soon delve onto a main street, lined with several shops. “Joel—”

“I’m gonna make a quick stop,” Joel attempts to ease your worries, fingers tapping against the gear shift positioned in the center console, “if you don’t mind.”

The moment he pulls into the parking lot of the electronic store, you know. You can see it in his eyes as he squints, checking that the store is still open and pulls into a parking spot near the front of the store.

“Joel, no—” You grab his wrist suddenly, his free hand reaching for the door handle and he looks down, eyes connecting where your skin touched before slowly flicking up to you, “look—just, I don’t need you to buy me a new fuckin’ laptop. I can handle it.”

Joel’s shoulders shrug in his obnoxiously patterned shirt, like he’s working out a kink in his neck as he repositions himself in the seat but doesn’t pull away from you. In fact, his hand gradually pulls toward your knee, fingers squeezing around your kneecap comfortingly.

“Considering it a loan then?” Joel tries to bargain, “Let me help you out now so you won’t have to worry about it and you can pay me back as you get the money? I see how often Sarah uses her laptop, it doesn't make sense for you to go without when I can help.”

You chew on your bottom lip thoughtfully, staring intensely back at him. You could put your foot down and deny his offer, but the idea of suffering through the rest of the semster without your sole life line to surviving through college—well, that was actually torture.

“I’m paying back every single penny.” You tell him forthright, waiting until he nods in agreement.

“Sounds like a deal to me.” Joel responds.

Joel spares no expense, which doesn’t come as a surprise. He buys you the highest, top notch laptop they have to offer—and even as you stare daggers into the side of his face, there’s an inkling in your mind that tells you he isn’t going to allow you to hold up your end of the deal.

Joel liked to party too—not giant parties that felt overwhelming and unwelcoming. But, he did have a close group of older male friends that he liked to play poker with on the back deck of the Miller household.

Sarah learned to block it out early on, knowing that at some point things would get just a little too loud and not as easy to ignore. But, Joel never made you feel out of place within any of these instances. You were welcome here all the time and Joel was clear about that.

He’s showered you with gifts and accommodation and you hate the way it makes you feel special, wanted—beyond the night in his hotel room it was only innocent glances. It felt like you were misreading things, making something out of nothing.

Things aren’t great at home and you like it here—love it, even. And you feel your mind nagging away to make a stupid, spur of the moment decision. You could ignore it, but then your eyes catch Joel’s through the slight crack in the door, trapping you in his gaze like you’ve been caught doing something wrong.

He squints slightly, lips curling around his beet bottle as he takes a long swig, fist uncurling against his jeans as he rubs out his palm and smiles—he has you hooked in so fucking easy it feels pathetic.

This is wrong. You inhale a shaky breath and turn away, busying yourself with literally anything else—a scuff on the table, the chipped nail polish on your fingernails, something.

Eventually his friends filter out—and Sarah had invited you to stay over the night barring that it was the weekend and she enjoyed your presence just as much as you did hers—if only she could understand the now huge, harboring crush you had on her father. It was harmless, but it felt like a betrayal.

And the feeling only increased as the night creeped along, your burdening insomnia keeping you awake, shifting and turning in the sheets beside her as you tried and failed miserably to fall asleep.

It was quiet out here, less commotion from the city. It was eerie, in a way.

You slip out of the bed quietly, walking barefoot on the hardwood as you tiptoed until you were outside of her room, closing the door behind you. You weren’t hungry, so you didn’t bother with the kitchen, rather heading toward the front door that was already halfway open.

Part of you expected Joel to be sitting on the porch, no real rhyme or reason. But, even he is out of sight. The soft, well-kept grass welcomes the press of your feet as you wander outside slowly, the hug of the warm spring air on your skin even this late at night. You catch one of the Miller’s horses hanging out around the edge of their enclosure, wondering if they managed to nudge their way out of their stable. You approach slowly, still not as accustomed to them as you’d like to be.

But, they were friendly. So, you raised a careful hand and rubbed gently at the horse’s mane, smiling at the soft huff it offered in return, leaning its snout over the fence more.

“Sunshine is always friendly,” Joel says from somewhere you don’t see, startling you out of your body as you jump, whipping your head around to look for him, eventually landing on his approaching form as he left the barn that held the stables, “—sneaky little gal, though.”

You laugh softly, finding it hard to believe that such a sweet horse was capable of escaping.

Joel whistles softly, beckoning her toward him. “Come on.” He nods, silently asking you to join him. You follow eagerly, watching as he unlocks the entrance to the fence for you to slip through, locking it behind you as you pass the threshold, catching up with Joel in a few steps.

“Don’t sleep well, do you?” He asks, heading turned over his shoulder briefly to look at you. You nod quietly, leisurely approaching Sunshine’s stable and watching as Joel locks her back up, rattling the gate for safety this time, ensuring it was secure. “Seems we have a few things in common.”

Joel stays quiet for a moment—in his own head, a deep moment of contemplation, carrying and safeguarding these thoughts he knows he shouldn’t have, wondering how your skin would feel against his palm, how the pulse of your heart would feel as he pressed his hand to the center of your chest and kissed you, full tongue and consumed your essence, this unignorable aura you had around you.

He feels sick, distraught. But, he can’t force himself to avoid you either.

“There’s somethin’ that usually helps me,” Joel tells you, hand pressed wordlessly against the center of your back as he guides you out of the barn and locks it up as well, “just goin’ somewhere quiet—lot of the time it’s just my thoughts keepin’ me awake.”

God, if only he knew.

He did, but that wasn’t the point.

Joel quiets for a moment, stuffing the ring of keys into his pocket as he glances over at the house briefly.

“You wanna go for a quick drive?” Joel asks suddenly, forcing it out before he can find a reason to stop himself.

“As long as it doesn’t end with you buying me another laptop, sure.” You chide deviously, watching the smirk grown on Joel’s face, knowing he still hasn’t taken a dollar from you.

And vehemently refuses every time you offer.

Joel drives you the path further into the land of property he owns, most of it still unexplored by you, eventually finding a clearing near the east edge, right on the edge of a body of water and a dock nestled near the shore. There’s a small boat tied to a post, big enough for a few people.

Under this light, as you exit the truck, Joel looks different.

He’s free of the weight of jewelry he wore, comfortable in his worn shirt and soft cotton shorts. For a while, Joel had been such an enigma that you weren’t sure what to make of him. Sure, he was just Sarah’s dad—but he was also Joel Miller, backbone of the town. His face was plastered everywhere. There wasn’t a single street you could traverse down that didn’t have him nestled away somewhere.

He spots a small mud puddle under your feet as he rounds the truck and quickly catches you before your feet get stuck, hands locked in yours as you jump over the small patch of wet dirt.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you look up at him, silently thanking him with your eyes.

“Can you swim?” He asks casually.

“Yeah…” You respond hesitantly, eyes locked onto the boat several feet away.

Joel releases your hands, but it doesn't matter. His touch still lingered painfully and you want nothing more than to pull him back in. But, now Joel is asking to go on a midnight boat ride with you and—really, how could you turn that down?

Joel rows you toward the center of the lake, your eyes locked onto the mesmerizing sight of the stars in the sky, so much clearer out here and away from the city.

“Pretty, ain’t it?” Joel asks, not bothering to look his way.

You smile slightly, leaning back onto the palms of your hands.

“Yeah, it really is.” You miss the way Joel’s gaze lingers, admiring you.

“Now—sometimes I just come out here and talk to nothin’,” Joel explains when the boat comes to a full stop and he rests the oars inside the boat, knees spread as he resting his elbows on them, “then other times I just sit and enjoy the quiet.”

Your choice—that’s what he’s implying.

You clear your throat softly, finally changing a glance his way.

“I just—I don’t wanna say I’m jealous of what you have here,” You say quietly, “but, it really is a bitter reminder of without Sarah or you, I’d have next to nothing.”

Joel stays quiet, allowing you to marinate in thought and figure out how to convey how you were feeling.

“And—I don’t know. Selfishly, I like it.” Liked him. “But, I don’t want to rely on it and you make that a little impossible. I do have money, Joel. I can pay for things. I just don’t want you feeling like you have to do any of this out of necessity.”

“I’m not,” Joel admits, “Now—what makes you think that, darlin’?”

“I just—I don’t want anyone thinking I need to be fixed, I don’t.” You tell him, “I don’t need charity, either.”

Joel waves his fingers in a come closer motion, taking your slowly extending hands in his own, thumbs rubbing over soft skin tenderly, boring his eyes into your own.

“I’m gonna tell you this once and I need you to listen,” Joel says softly, but his voice feels so loud in the silence of the night, breeze hitting your skin and sending a sharp chill up your spine—but, you’re not how much of mother nature is responsible for that, “really listen, alright?”

You nod slowly, blinking a few times as you feel yourself shrink under his gaze.

“What I give you isn’t charity,” Joel tells you seriously, “and—maybe this is crossing a boundary I shouldn’t but, you’re somethin’ close to family. I take care of people I care about.”

Not family—he couldn’t conitate that with the feelings and thoughts he was having toward you.

“Close to family?” He was praying you wouldn’t harp on it, but you needed to confirm the underlying layer of tension that lingered between you two all the time. It was driving you insane, keeping you late into the night—he was the reason for your insomnia.

Joel smirks slightly, covering it with a quiet chuckle. His hand gradually cradles your face, rubbing along your cheek with a delicate touch, “I think you know, darlin’.”

God, he hoped you did. His thumb dragging along your plush bottom lip, eyes lingering for a brief moment before he pulls away, immediately missing his touch as he reigns himself to the idea that he may have crossed a line, quietly rowing the way back toward the dock.

Neither of you get much sleep that night anyways.

More time passes, lingering touches grow, and Joel is terrible at hiding his affinity for you now. Finding that those few words burned all regards he had toward keeping himself restrained around you. He had enough of a mind to keep it private—but there were comments, sweet little words that he’d whisper as you walked by or he caught you alone.

Nothing scandalizing, but just enough that it had your heart fluttering in your chest.

Until there is a small slip up, helping the Miller’s with dinner one night as Sarah escapes to the bathroom for a brief moment, your arms outstretched into the cabinet to grab for something just out of reach.

“Use the stool, darlin’,” Joel sees your struggle, “safer that way.”

You look around observantly before you find a folded up stool tucked into the only open corner in the kitchen, taking it back to your spot and unfolding it.

“Good girl.” Joel comments quietly, catching the startled look on your face as your head snaps back toward him. And he has the nerve to smile, noticing the hitch in your breath.

And it only grows in intensity until you can’t stand it anymore, cornering him in the kitchen on a night where Sarah is already upstairs gathering herself for bed, thinking you had come down for a couple bottles of water.

Joel is nursing a small glass of whiskey and he’s silent, but his gaze tracks your movement. You move toward him.

There is a belief in you, fully realized, that something is up here.

"Joel," You lick your lips hesitantly, squaring yourself up against the counter, standing straight, trying not to seem like you were teetering near a dangerous edge of delirium, wondering if you were imagining all of this, "can I ask you something?"

There's a severe lack of distance between you two, knees knocking against each other gently from where you both stand, eyes searching out cautiously even though you know there's nothing to worry about. You were alone, something that has happened far too many times over the past few months. Lingering moments of wandering gazes, eyes connecting from across the room even if Joel was surrounded by people, partying with friends while you're tucked away in the corner while Sarah talks to you about the boys at school that you can't be bothered to give the time of day.

Because of Joel. Because your mind is so tainted by the idea of him.

His palm is flattened out against the counter, adorned with a couple golden rings that clack against the marble, gold chains to match that sat perfectly against his chest, framing the small patch of hair that peeked out over his unbuttoned shirt, silk-pressed and adorned in a silly design that somehow always managed to work perfectly with whatever Joel paired it with.

"Course," He assures you, "You need somethin'? 'Cause you know if things aren't alright at home you're welcome to stay with us."

He’s not amiss to notice just how much time you spend here and no one bothers to come around and check on you. Given you were an adult, it was still glaringly obvious you escaped here for a reason.

Joel reaches out to touch your cheek, the warmth of his skin melding with your own as your breath catches in your throat.

Touch wasn't new, but it never got old. Like a brand against your skin that screamed out for more. You look down briefly, mouth opening slightly to say something, but quickly resigns back to its previous position, lips pursed under a soft scowl.

"I can take care of you," Joel reminds, like you could ever fucking forget it, written all over your features and the outfits you wore now, the dainty gold chain that he'd leant to you as a gift when you pointed out how much you liked it—he'd bought it for himself but there was no resistance in offering over it over to you, bright smile stretching across your face in the moment that Joel felt a sickening addiction to, "—if that's what you need, sweetheart."

You nod instinctively, though you’re not sure what you’re answering too.

“We’ve got a spare room,” Your bottom lip pulls between your teeth, the huskiness to his voice shouldn’t feel intimate speaking such meaningless words, “plenty of room for you, alright?”

“Mhm,” You answer weakly, feeling the distance start to close as Joel tries—really fucking tries to fight it, but he can’t help the way his eyes track the way your body responds to his teach, lip trembling when you release it from it’s hold between your teeth, “thank you, Joel.”

“For?” Your heart is racing, terrified of being caught but also enticed by how openly Joel is admiring you, eyes wide with adoration and curiousness, something undiscovered and new to him.

“Taking care of me.” You echo his words, but you’re both quickly retching away at the sound of a door creaking upstairs, separating in an instant.

This was all you had—fleeting moments that would never be.

The logistics are complicated to figure out at first, but finishing up the last few weeks of schooling away from the stress of being at home and somewhere where you could actually focus outside of school made the most sense. You pack a big enough bag to last you through the month, clothes and personal belongings you care about, and make the small guest room your new home.

At least, as much as you could.

Luckily, your final classes are a breeze—thankful that most of your discipline with studying had paid off, you and Sarah would graduate in another couple weeks and allow yourself a real break over the summer before deciding how you both wanted to continue. More schooling or not, you would handle that later—for now, you let your mind rest.

And Sarah, well, she escapes the first chance she gets—the first official day free of responsibilities she’s running off for a weekend vacation with her boyfriend, assuring she didn’t mind you tagging along if you wanted to come, but you could see it on her face—she wanted privacy.

So, you had no problem staying back.

A weekend alone—with Joel? Who could barely keep his eyes off of you know that you were around constantly, even in the early mornings when he’d walk through the kitchen shirtless and fumbling with the old coffee pot he refused to get rid of. It was a side to him you hadn’t seen much of and it was slowly etching itself into your memory.

Everything implodes the first night that Sarah is gone, unknowingly yet not unwelcome. But, it’s a turning point neither of you can come back from.

It’s undeniable the amount of boiling sexual tension that has stirred between you both between Joel’s heated gaze and scandalizing comments, stuff that he tries to hold in but fails when he sees how easily of an effect it has on you.

So, as luck would have it, your restless minds meet again.

Joel stops between his open bedroom door and the wall, watching as you approach quietly, smiling kindly as you reach for the door to the guest room, bidding him a soft goodnight.

He could spend his night writhing in bed, hand around his cock as he jerked himself to the thought of you a few feet over, nestled under your sheets—unbeknownst to him, relieving yourself in a similar way and yearning for the stretch of him rather than your measly fingers. It used to relieve the ache and help you sleep, but now it made things impossibly worse.

His fingers encircle your wrist quick, but carefully, silence your ultimate downfall as you stare over at him curiously, his eyes pleading something so desperate it roots itself into your own mind. Like an invisible string tethered to your bodies, it pulls you both together instinctively.

He doesn’t hesitate with touch now, slowly barricading his hands against the side of your neck, gradually working to cradle your head, tipping your head back as he leaned in, not willing himself to cross that line unless you allowed it. He knew the second you stepped over he was done for, similarly, you knew that to be true for yourself.

“Tell me to stop,” Joel begs, “—tell me and I’ll give this up.”

You double down, pressing your face against his own, nose pressing against each other, speaking against his lips in a venomous tone that seeps into his bloodstream.

“No,” You tell him, steadfast and unwavering, “I don’t think I will.”

Joel breathes in sharply before his reverence is breaking, pressing you up against the solidness of the guest room door and crashing his lips against your own, his grip bruising as he palms at your thighs, hooking a leg around his hip as he grinds into you, the feeling dulled out by layers of fabric but you can still feel him. He’s hard and straining against the soft fabric and making no attempt to hide how much you affected him.

“We’re makin’ a big mistake,” Joel says into your mouth, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth to prove his point, pulling a sharp moan from your chest at the slight sting, “you realize that?”

You find your courage and part from him briefly, open palm rubbing against the line of his cock, slowly trailing up and under his shirt, blunt nails clawing into the stomach, the muscle tensing under your skin, “I’m well aware—are you gonna stand here and have a moral dilemma about it or are you going to fuck me, Mr. Miller?”

It ignites a fury behind his eyes, ravenous and wild. He grips your face tightly, tilting your head up at a slightly uncomfortable angle, pussy clenching around absolutely nothing from the show of dominance, the grin spreading across your face all Joel needed to confirm his suspicions about you.

You enjoyed this—him, the little game you’ve allowed him to play over the past few weeks. And just as he’d said before, he wanted to take care of you—in as many ways possible.

“Say it again,” He warns, squeezing your cheeks together between his tight grip on your face, “—fuckin’ say it.”

“Mr. Miller,” You drone sweetly, best you can through his sturdy grip, “—hm, is that what you want to hear? Is that what gets off at night?”

Joel’s eyes squint slightly, attempting to read your expression. How would you know?

“Always want me to call you Joel because Mr. Miller is just too much, right?” You tease, “I guess you could lie to me, but the look on your face says otherwise.”

The back of your head drops softly against the door, nowhere to go as Joel has you crowded, hand tight on the doorknob and unmoving. You’re trapped and you can’t be bothered to care.

His hand trails to your neck gradually and squeezes, eyes rolling into the back of your head briefly as his jaw clenches, teeth gritting together as he bares them and speaks, “Should’ve guessed you’d like it like this, huh?”

You feign cluelessness, eyes half-lidded and staring back defiantly, swallowing against the solid hand he held against your neck.

“Tell me you want it,” Joel presses, feeling how mutely you attempt to press against hold and fail, “need to hear you say it first.”

“What? That I want you cock, Joel?” You say vivaciously, grinning at how his mouth twitches at your words, cooing out a soft, “Because I do.”

And that’s all the confession Joel needs before he’s breaking the barrier and shoving you inside the guest room, slamming the door closed behind him with a foot as he tracks and approaches you, hauling you from the back of your thighs as your ass hits the bed, scooting back slightly and spreading your legs to allow him to slot perfectly between them.

The fabric of your shirt bunches in his hands as pushes it up and away, lips pressing hotly against your stomach, mouthing at the skin greedily, quickly forcing the shirt up your shoulders until you get the idea and rip the shirt over your head, bare breasts bouncing against the jostling of your body. Joel has half the mind to gawk before he’s latching his mouth around your nipple, biting gently at the flesh despite his choice to be more aggressive than you expected. It’s the right amount of too soft and too much, your fingers curling into his hair at the root and pulling, earning a soft groan in response.

His curls fall freely over his eyes from where he’s looking up at you, lips lingering against your breast tantalizingly, “Let me taste you.” He tells you, his fingers dancing along the hem of your bottoms, his body descending as you find yourself nodding absently, helping him in the impatient push and pull until he has you naked and bare before him, his cock straining prominently against the thin material of his pants, rubbing himself through the fabric as he uses his free hand to spread you wide, marveling at the sight of your slick over the lips of your cunt.

Joel settles against the sheets, broad shoulders supporting your thighs as he adjusts them over him and hovers closely of your cunt, waiting for your eyes to connect in a brief moment of confirmation

You wanted this. And so did he.

He remains wide-eyed as his lips connecting with your cunt, straight for your aching clit as he sucks, flicking his tongue over the sensitive spot with a precision that has you falling slack against the sheets, mouth open in a blissful agony as Joel works away at your pussy like he’s had a million years to study it, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as you continue to pull and twist at his hair, selfishly grinding yourself against his face.

He never breaks his gaze on your face, even when you find yourself with your head thrown back, staring up at the ceiling mindlessly, admiring the hurried rise and fall of your chest as you moan out something intelligible, slowly beginning to make sense in his hazy mind, “Oh—right—right there, Joel. Fuck, please—” You beg sweetly, feeling weightless as he lowers his mouth to your neglected hole and licks inside, his nose pressing perfectly against your clit.

“C’mon, baby,” He murmurs against your pussy, “keep talkin’, let me hear you.”

You sigh in exasperation, feeling the burgeoning ache of your impending climax, “Faster—” Joel is an astute listener, never missing a beat as he picks up his pace and adds more pressure, “–shit, I’m gonna—”

Joel silences you with his eagerness to make you come, words falling flat as he assales your clit with a determination to have you coming against his mouth, feeling the muscles spasm as you crying out his name in desperation, orgasming over his greedy tongue as he laps you up synonymously, forcing your body into overstimulation until you have to physically force him away.

Joel doesn’t have half the mind to speak, eyes darkened to near black as he rises to remove his shirt, pants and underwear following quickly after, undressing under your hazy gaze as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart before he’s fisting himself tightly, tip of his cock rubbing against the line of your pussy and catching your entrance, using the last bit of restraint he had left.

He should be courteous and ask about protection—but there’s a heat behind your eyes when you see his thoughts wandering, quickly snuffing out any worries. You reach gently for the hand not fisting his cock, cradling your knee gently, “We’re safe.” You assure him, the first moment of deep, unsettling reality as he realizes the weight of his choices before him—he’s already committed a few atrocities he knows he can’t come back from, so, what was a few more?

And he couldn’t say no to you, not with you staring up at him so wantonly, eyes pleading something desperate and meek, curious if this was all just a heat of the moment thing. Partly, it was—but this was months upon months of built up tension finally spilling into reality.

Joel isn’t sweet either, as he presses inside you. It shouldn’t surprise you, his impatient nature as he pulls you in close, hands gripping under your thighs and manhandling you until your folded nearly in half, hips pistoning sharp and rough, his gaze locked on the sight of himself disappearing inside of you, the sheen of your slick over his cock as you suck him in greedily.

“Come on, baby,” He grunts roughly, “keep showin’ me how good I make you feel. Show me how grateful you are.”

As if it wasn’t already obvious, obscene noises, feeling the quiet air as you sob out, feeling the angle change as he shifts his knee by your ass, angling your hips up slightly.

“Thank—thank you,” You say softly, broken as he snaps his hips roughly, hitting something sensitive inside of you, the coiling heat in your stomach rebuilding quickly, “thankyouthankyouthankyou,” You ramble mindlessly.

Mesmerized, you watch his curls bounce freely over his forehead, overgrown hair sticking to his skin from the soft sheen of sweat, the muscles in his broad shoulders straining as he holds your legs prisoner in his grips, hips aching dully from the unusual angle but you ignore it. He’s locked onto your pussy for a long stretch of time, entranced until he hears your soft moans, realizing you’ve been admiring him this whole time, eyes locking on you in a moment of vulnerability as he speaks directly to you, hips slowing to a manageable, but still slightly overwhelming pace.

“Always—know how to appreciate things, isn’t that right?” Joel asks, the redundancy not lost on you, “Take everything I give you and never ask. Never greedy—just lettin’ me spoil you.”

“Joel—” You whine, his hand slowly trailing the path to your joined bodies, thumb circling slowly over your clit briefly, “—harder, fuck me—harder.”

“But, look at you now—so fuckin’ greedy for my cock,” He’s speaking through a slight groan, releasing the straining hold on your thighs as he falls, spreading his legs out and using his arms for support as he holds himself over you, hands fisting into the sheets beside your head, “gonna make me cum, baby.”

You find yourself desperate for touch now, wrapping your arms around his neck until he’s nearly chest to chest, forehead resting against your own as you whimper into his open mouth, “I want it.”

Joel makes a small noise of question, “Want what, baby?”

“Your cum,” You reply softly, watching the way his pupils dilate at your words, “—please?”

Joel groans involuntarily, feeling the dignified squeeze of your walls around his cock.

“Where?” He asks slightly breathless, panting into your mouth.

You reach blindly for his hand, using his pointer and middle finger to breach your lips, pressing flat against your tongue, “Right here.” You mumble around the thick digits.

It’s the first thing you’ve ever explicitly asked for and who was Joel to deny that.

Joel pulls out quickly, rising on his knees as you push up to rest on your palms, his head hung back as he fucks himself into his hand harshly, a few short pumps and he’s pressing the aching tip of his cock over your tongue, spilling into your mouth with a deep growl, forced through clenched teeth, working himself through the aftershock as he squeezes out the last bit of cum he has to offer into your waiting mouth, forcing your mouth closed with his opposite hand and watching as you tilted your neck up and swallowed, tongue peeking out playfully as you show him your empty mouth.

You have half the mind to think he’s finished, but instead he’s swatting your thigh as he maneuvers your hips until you realize he’s silently asking you to turn over, quickly situating your ass in the air with his strong, domineering grip—burying his face into your cunt without a moment of hesitation, a gasp ripping from your throat. Your hips pull away instinctively out of shock, earning a sharp slap by Joel’s hand against your oversensitive cunt.

“Stay still.” Joel demands.

You answer softly, a pathetic acknowledgement and nod, obeying his order.

“Good girl,” He coos, muffled against your cunt, “Come for me, baby—you’re right there, I can feel it.”

There’s little resistance as his tongue swipes over your clit, sending you into a shorter but immensely more consuming second orgasm, feeling yourself lose consciousness for a brief moment as you sob into the sheets.

“Fuck.” Joel sighs as he rests back on his calves, cock softening between his thighs as you roll onto your back gingerly, thighs shaking from strain, feeling Joel’s comforting touch on the aching muscles as you close your eyes, letting the reality of the situation set in.

You laugh giddily, “Yeah, fuck.”

Neither of you address the glaring issue of what just took place and somehow, that feels like the biggest atrocity to be committed.

Secrets weren’t something you used to harbor, but it seemed like that was all you had now.

Sneaking off with Joel, lying to Sarah—it was the last thing you wanted to do. But, you and Joel had each other in an equally debilitating grip that neither of you could loosen up on.

And with secrets came gifts, more and more outrageous as time went on—big ticket items that had you fearing that, at some point, Joel would drop something like a new car on you—and that, for what it was worth, would help you. But, it was nothing you wanted.

Sex started to feel transactional after a few more weeks, graduation creeping on you.

Joel never lacked in care and attentiveness, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of your mind, like you were this unattainable prize he was paying for and you were eating right out of the palm of his hand.

But, then graduation day approaches and Joel is acting odd.

So odd that it unsettles you. He’s there, along with his brother and his small family, cheering as loud for you as he does for Sarah, the obvious absence from your own family never lost on you or him. Then, night approaches.

He’d decided that throwing a party for the both of you in celebration was a good idea, just a small party with very few friends and he swore—swore that there was nothing else up his sleeve until he’s pulling you and Sarah off together, away from the party and there is a pair of matching, new cars parked in the driveway.

Sarah, given she already has everything she wants, is still thankful. It’s the one thing she had been trying to save up for herself, without the help of her dad. So, while she could be upset, she isn’t. She knows Joel’s intentions are good and that he’s just trying to be a good father—which is all he’s ever been for her.

But, for you, it stings.

You linger, settled a few feet away against his beater of a truck, staring at the car like it was an eyesore.

She doesn’t like it. She hates it, Joel thinks.

You thanked him regardless, but refused the keys. Joel had stuffed them into his pocket and allowed you the space you wanted, eyes pleading quietly. Sarah had hugged you gently, kind words left in your ear before she departed back inside.

“You’re like family,” She says with genuine love, “and he has more money than he knows what to do with—so honestly, just take it. You deserve it more than anyone.”

And that hurts worse, knowing that you’ve been lying to her for months.

You weren’t family. Not to Joel. You were something much more convoluted and dangerous.

A drug. A trap. Something he couldn’t rid himself of, not that he desired to. But, he knew—once you were embedded into his life, it would be nearly impossible to get you out.

–

Joel finds you a while later, away from the party and beyond eyesight from the house, curled up against the front end of the truck and picking away at some of the ripped denim of your jeans, counting the frayed pieces. He takes a similar position, sitting next to you silently.

“You don’t have to take it,” He tells you, “but, it is paid for—”

“Joel, please—”

“What?” Joel asks suddenly, his own annoyance getting the better of him, “What am I doing wrong?”

“Joel—we have sex, you buy me something ridiculous. Or, you buy me something ridiculous without my knowledge and then we end up having sex, how does that look to you?”

“Now, I’m not doing that because of sex—”

“But, you see how it looks? How it makes me feel?” You argue with him, “Joel, I can’t help how I feel about you, like—it feels physically impossible, but the constant gifts makes this seem transactional. I don’t want that. I’m already a secret, I don’t need to be bought either.”

Joel shakes his head in silent disbelief, “You really think that’s how I view you? That’s it?”

“You haven’t tried very hard to make me think otherwise, Joel.” You tell him honestly, “I don’t need you showering me with cars and clothes and shit that I don’t need—and if that’s what you feel like you need to do, I don’t want to do…whatever this is anymore.”

Fucking him, sneaking around in secret. You weren’t dating, but it sure fucking felt like it. One intimate moment from a love confession that would seal the deal on your perception of him.

Joel kicks at the gravel as he rises to his feet, pulling you up by your forearm, an immediate look of both confusion and frustration crossing your features as he turns you and presses your chest against the front of his truck, shadowed by the cover of night. His belt clanks together loudly as he undoes his jeans behind you, tucking them far down enough he can pull his cock from the confines of his underwear, lifting up the hem of your dress and yanking your own underwear down your legs and off, and you should stop him—but you don’t want to.

This was the problem. You couldn’t get enough of Joel.

He slips inside of you with ease, pulling a sharp gasp from your chest that he stifles with his hand, clasped over your mouth, fucking into you with a reverance that was new.

“Joel—we’refuck—we can’t here,” You try to say, yanking his hand away from your mouth, “we’ll get caught.”

Joel grips the base of your neck roughly, fingers curling around the sides as he tilts your head back and looks into your eyes, other hand coming around the bottom of your chin until you’re forced to look up and back at him, not a single speck of warm brown in sight. He looked angry.

But, it didn’t feel like it was directed toward you. Regardless, he fucked you like he was.

“I’ll return the fuckin’ car,” He starts to ramble, “I’ll return everything if that makes you think differently. God—” He snaps his hips harshly, earning a broken sob from you as you reach behind you blindly for something to anchor yourself on, fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt, “—never want you to think this is transactional, baby. It never—never was.”

Never would be, you want him to say.

“Whaddya want me to say?” Joel asks before you can speak, “That I care about you—baby, I fuckin’ do. I thought that was obvious. Know—know I shouldn’t, that it’s wrong, but I knew—”

You gasp raggedly, his hand leaving your chin to find your clit, just the right amount of pressure to have your hands clawing at his skin, head resting back against his shoulder as he fucked into you.

“And I’ll keep this a secret if—if it means I can have you but this isn’t transactional,” He continues to speak, despite your inability, tipping over the edge of your orgasm as his hips stutter slightly, “it never will be.”

That—that was what you needed to hear. Pulling him taut against you as he buried his mouth into the junction of your neck and nipped, biting at the skin roughly but not enough to break skin.

“Come inside me,” You gasp, chest rising and falling quickly, “please—Joel, please?”

“You like when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” Joel teases, “Never ask for anything but my cum—greedy girl,” You moan at his words, spurring him even further, “tell me baby, tell me how much you want it.”

“So bad,” You whine, “Joel, please give it to me—fuck—all of it, please?”

Joel snaps his hips a few more times before his hand is releasing your neck, crossing over your chest and squeezing tightly at your breast as he pulses inside of you, pumping his hips and filling you full of his spend.

Joel kisses at the exposed skin of your shoulder, pulling out with a soft grunt, the slow jingle of metal sounding behind you as you reached for the underwear he offered you, slipping it back up your legs and into place, despite how Joel’s cum dripped out of you, something he makes point of as his fingers drag along the material, causing you gasp softy at his touch, swatting his hand away. He chuckles lowly at the annoyed glare you shoot his way.

Joel shifts your hips until you turn in his grip, back pressing against cool metal. He crowds you in again, leaving you feeling breathless as he grips your face, but his touch is surprisingly tender.

“What do we say?” He says softly, lips pressing against your own.

“Thank you,” You retort sarcastically, capturing his lips in a quick, bruising kiss as you card your fingers into his hair at the base of his neck, pulling gently, “this doesn’t change anything—I don’t want the car.”

“You don’t have to take it,” Joel settles, “but it’ll be here if you need it.”

You pull away further, looking at him endearingly, watching as his eyes flick briefly toward the house.

“What do we do–about this?” You ask quietly, afraid someone might be listening in despite being alone, “About…whatever this is.”

“Hey,” Joel assures gently, “don’t worry about that—not tonight.”

“Joel—” You plead, eyes searching desperately into his own.

“I care about you, that’s all you need to worry about.” Joel speaks truthfully, his thumb rubbing along the line of your jaw as you swallow, muscles tense under his touch.

And you’re wondering if he’s just saying what you want to her—that maybe this was still a game to him and he was letting you feed into it, nodding to his confession. Joel is all in, offering you his metaphorical hand.

You sigh shakily, “Okay—I trust you.” So please, don’t let me down.

And you know things will eventually implode, but you intend to hold on the brief moment of hope you have now, safe under his gaze as he leads you back to the house, everyone blissfully unaware of the moments you’ve shared, leaving you resigned to appreciate the greedy looks his shares with you across the room.

It was a dangerous game, but you were willing to take the risks.

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #bfd!joel #pedro pascal characters #pedrostories #my writing

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infictionalwonderland · 2 years

Note

beefy bucky barnes being drunk and obsessed with you???? 😩😩😩

heart implosion xo

warnings: drunkenness, fluff, perhaps some crude comments 💕💗💞

“Y/nnnn..”

You couldn’t help the giggle that fell from your lips as your large, super solider, crime fighting boyfriend drunkenly whined and tried to crawl up your body as you both lay on the same, his large and veiny arms either side of your torso as he crawled upwards.

“I don’t why you’re laughing,” he drunkenly mumbled, “but I love it please continue.”

Bucky buried his head into your chest contentedly, drunkenly mumbling in pleasure as you ran a hand through his hair.

“Buck.” You laughed lightly, squirming underneath his large body as he whined out, clinging to you. “Bucky, you need to move. Please, love.”

“But you’re so comfy.” He mumbled, slurring and happy. “And I love being close to you. ‘M favourite thing in the whole wide planet.”

“Is it?” You coaxed softly, gently trying to detach yourself from his large arms, his relentless embrace radiating unfathomable warmth.

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky easily agreed, nodding lightly as strands of his dark hair fell to frame his structured face, “you always smell so good, if I could sniff a scent for the rest of ‘m life, it’d be your smell.” He slurred.

“What a little angel.” You teased, giggling.

“Say that again.” Bucky pleaded, opening his eyes to give you a stupidly pretty pout with his clouded over gaze.

“My little angel.” You grinned.

“Your little angel.” He hummed happily, you could feel his elated smile against you skin as he snuggled closer.

“Hmm, see, so good.” Bucky smiled lazily, as he stuffed his head in your hair, lifting his head to gently grasp a lock of your hair and bring in to your own nose. “‘M favourite smell. You.”

You kept in your laughter as you willingly sniffed your own hair, watching a smile break out on your boyfriends lips as you stared at him adoringly.

“And your face..” Bucky mumbled, sighing exaggeratedly as he lay on your chest, gazing up at you in admiration— “best bit. It’s so pretty, makes my heart go wooosshh.”

“Aw.” You pouted at him and he smiled wider, a red hue now gracing his face. “What’s your least favourite part of me?” You prompted, teasingly.

“No!” Bucky replied firmly, pulling his body off yours slightly and staring down at you with furrowed brows and a small, adorable frown. “Ent got a least favourite. No such thing. All of you is perfect.”

“You little sap.”

Bucky shook his head, softly collapsing onto you once again and holding you tightly in his muscular arms— “no. Your little angel.”

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peachsayshi · 5 months

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✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ being wrapped in your arms feels like coming home ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

wc: 1,820

minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.

notes: here is a little drabble in honor of toji's birthday! this piece was originally titled as "adoration" but I changed it to this instead. I'm taking a small posting break, but I'll be back to my regular schedule within a week! I'm sorry if I haven't been responding to tags or messages, but I will do so soon <3 I hope you're all having a wonderful time and I'm sending all my well wishes out to you! xo

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: widow toji; age gap (reader is 30 while toji is in his early 40s); a little angsty; toji attempting to break up with you but failing because he's oh so in love

toji overstayed his welcome which was only supposed to last the scorching heat of summer, but he found himself lingering through the quiet stillness of fall. winter came in with a brisk chill and gloomy skies, and that's when toji knew it was time for him to end things with you.

he’s lost interest far quicker in previous relationships. they served their purpose of healing over the wound in his heart, of soothing away the ache of loneliness. he oftens forgets that he was once a loyal, loving husband whenever he abandons yet another fling.

the difference, however, is he at least had the guts to verbally cut things off before.

fucking pathetic, he thinks as he scolds himself. he's been a coward, reducing his actions to disappearing before the sunlight peeks through the horizon, and avoiding any chance of waking you up. he ensures that he is never there to see the way your brows furrow with concern when your hand meets the cold pillow, because otherwise he would falter in his attempt to escape.

this has been going on for over two weeks now but last night was the first time you've actually snapped at his cold, detached behavior. he approached the argument with nonchalance to wither you down, shrugging off the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach and then walking out halfway through the fight.

he stayed at a motel thinking that maybe you have finally taken the hint that he's done.

he arrives back to his apartment only to be met with unfamiliar silence. the entrance of his home is dark and lifeless, and it's so quiet he can even hear a pin drop. there's a tightness in his chest, followed by a wave of disappointment that runs over him like a feverish shiver.

despite his hard headed decision, he's still anticipating on hearing your lovely voice to greet him as he walks through the door.

he knows it's selfish.

toji expected many things to happen after last night's fight. he figured the reaction to him leaving you (again) would be far bigger. a screaming phone call or a string of cursing text messages to call him out on his shitty behavior.

after all he deserves it for acting like an insufferable asshole.

he tries to swallow his guilt but it remains lodged in his throat when he acknowledges that this might actually be the end.

the expression on his features falls.

it’s better this way, he consoles, dragging his feet across the floor to approach his kitchenette. he shrugs off his beaten up, oversized coat and tosses it over one of the chairs. he opens one of the cupboards, and grabs a mug to prepare himself a cup of tea.

she’s too young to settle for a guy like me, he continues. widowed with two kids who he barely sees anymore, working paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet…

a deadbeat.

he exhales, swirling his brew in his ceramic cup. the aroma of sweet leaves dances up the spiral of steam to kiss his nose.

she deserves more than me.

he places the kettle down but stares at the cup mindlessly, losing all train of thought as his hands grip onto the edge of the counter.

he can acknowledge that his insecurities are clouding his judgement on something truly special, even though this was only ever meant to be purely physical.

except, the sex was growing more intimate. the experience wasn't about pleasure for him anymore. he would find himself losing all focus to the depth of your pretty eyes, stealing kiss after kiss like your mouth was the source of where all his happiness belongs.

belonged.

it’s over now, he thinks again. it has to be.

a faint patter of footsteps distracts him, prompting him to ease his hold on the counter as the muscles on his face relax. his heart steadies itself, and he draws in a breath when he feels two arms delicately twine around his waist.

“you’re...still here...” he points out in shock.

he feels you press your forehead into his back. “of course, where else would I be?”

he clears his throat to release the guilt then spins on his heel to face you.

"I thought you might have taken off," he bluntly states as he rests his lower back against the counter.

his heart swells, emanates flurries of golden sparks when he meets your gorgeous irises. the will to carry on with his decision crumbles when he catches the corner of your mouth tick into a slight grin.

"I thought about it," you reply casually, loosening your grip to place your palms flat on the side of his stomach. "but the truth is I'm worried about you and I just…want to talk things out…make sure you're okay...”

“I’m the one acting like a jerk and you’re worried about me?” he blurts.

you quirk your brow at the slip of his question. “so, you know you’re acting like a jerk?”

toji’s eyes widen slightly, a hint of pink tainting his cheek. “I asked the question first.”

you purse your lips playfully, aware of the crack that's been revealed and ready to swing once again with another blow.

“it’s because you’re acting like a jerk that I’m worried about you,” you explain, “you’re not yourself when you’re unsettled about something…”

his face warms, the hue of pink deepening into a stronger blush. the familiarity of pointing out his personal traits feels all too homely. seven months shouldn’t feel like a forever but in this bubble with you time ceases to exist.

you trail the pads of your finger tips up his torso, your hands clasping around the back of his neck as you press all your soft and sweet parts right up against the frame of his body.

the brush of your lips on his scar prompts him to flutter his eyes close. he fails to stop himself from holding you then, his firm hands reaching for the outline of your waist

“so,” you murmur with a tempting kiss as you return to your question, “you know you’re acting like a jerk then?”

please don’t make me say it, he thinks, please don’t make me unravel right in front of your eyes.

he squeezes your side, whispering a defeated “listen…”

“did I do something wrong?” you question, a hint of pain laced through every vowel which only makes his heart ache further. “did something happen?”

toji shakes his head.

“it’s not you,” he grumbles. “look, you asked me a couple of weeks ago if this thing between us was serious and…it shouldn’t be.”

you narrow your gaze, tilting your head with adorable confusion that makes toji want to kiss you right there on the spot.

he can feel you pluck at the fabric of his sweater nervously, “why not?”

toji drops his head and sighs.

“c’mon, doll, let’s be real. I’ve got nothing to give you other than a good fuck in this shitty apartment. you're better off finding someone else and I don't want to waste your time”

you press your mouth into a firm line. “your behavior…” you reply, nipping your bottom lip slightly as you gather your thoughts. “are you acting like this because you…want to end things with me?”

toji has never felt smaller. you’ve reduced him into a shriveled pea rolling around his scuffed up boot. “look, it’s better this way, alright?” he admits with a raise of his head, still refusing to outwardly say what you easily deduced. “it's better to move on before things get too complicated…”

the silence hangs heavy in the air, the tension so thick toji feels like he can’t breathe properly. his heart rattles with no restraint, and he finds himself suddenly lightheaded. an apology rests on the tip of his tongue, ready to take back everything he just bombarded you with but his throat simply tightens once more when your hands cradle his strong jaw.

“I like your apartment,” you quietly speak, “your bed sheets always smell so good, and you fixed the water pressure after I complained that it sucked…”

toji blinks back his surprise.

“I also notice that you burn the candle that I got you and that you switched laundry detergents when your old one gave me that weird rash,” you giggle and toji couldn’t help but huff out an embarrassed laugh himself. “the windows let in the best kind of sunlight, and it’s always so cozy in here…”

you press your lips against his mouth to leave a chaste kiss, “as for the company…” you add on, nuzzling the tip of your nose over his, “I consider you more than just a good fuck.”

toji can physically feel himself wilting underneath the heat of your gaze. “I’m just looking out for you, doll.”

"you can look out for me by making me breakfast instead of running away from me..."

he looks serious but his eyes are sincere, holding a level of tenderness that he only reserves for you. his palm moves to seek out your lower back, a hint of pressure pulling you back into his warmth.

your lover has stayed tight lipped about his past, but over his period with you he's found himself spilling out a few secrets here and there.

"I haven't done this in a long time," he vulnerably admits.

"I know," you reassure him, "but...the real question is, do you want this?"

he parts his lips ready to seal the last nail in the coffin, ready to give you the chance to walk out of his life for good. but you're gazing up at him from underneath your eyelashes, your determined stare an opening of your own mercy. your plush, supple lips summoning his cowardice into oblivion.

"toji?"

his breath hitches, his apprehension silenced by the urgency of his desire.

you're so lovely, he thinks. you feel like home.

"I want you," he reveals, his deep voice smoky and untethered, releasing enough sentiment in those three words that he can feel you tremble in his arms. "I just don't deserve you. I don't want you getting caught up in my bullshit..."

""you're a lot sweeter than you look, you know?" you run your fingers through the streaks of his black hair, combing it back to reveal his forehead. "you deserve to be happy, toji, and...and I think I can make you happy..."

your aura beams with delight when he flashes you a wolfish grin in return. a smile you've grown to adore so deeply. his apology comes in the form of a kiss, one that's gentle and slow. a stroke of fire burns up the back of your neck, making you quiver in places when he glides his tongue across yours. you hum softly into his lips while he releases a content sigh, the barrier he's been keeping up turns to ashes beneath your feet.

#toji x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x y/n #toji fluff #toji angst #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen angst #peach is {offline} ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

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kal-el22 · 2 years

Text

Good Morning ☀️

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hrtbreakanniversary · 1 year

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love me low | neteyam sully

Baby, I just wanna kiss you Stay until the day is done You don't even know just how much I need you Baby, I just wanna keep you

summary: y/n is in love with her best friend's brother but he's in love with her sister.

pairing: neteyam sully x f!omatikaya reader

word count: 10k

playlist: love me low - ai bendr, yes to heaven - lana del rey, umaasa- calein, xo - beyonce, cloud 9 - beach bunny, i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys, about you - the 1975, here with me - d4vd, can i - alina baraz & galimatias, moment - lildeath

warnings: aged up (neteyam and kiri are 18 whilst lo'ak and y/n are 17), misunderstanding trope!, jealously, protectiveness, talks of marriage, unhealthy family dynamic, assault, y/n is super hard on herself and cares about others more, blood, war, profanity, suggestive

She knew this was a bad idea from the get go. Despite the Olo'eyktan warnings to not wander out after dark for the sake of safety, his own son had come to her as the orange hue of the horizon seeped through the cave's openings to speak of a new area he found in the forest.

Trying to reject the younger Sully never really worked for Lo'ak was always persistent to take his best friend on whatever not so bright idea he had planned in his head.

Additionally, she would do anything to get out of her home. The constant berating from her mother and calling her every second to do something because her sister's precious hands couldn't bear to get rough from using them.

At first, nothing was wrong. Like always, she would follow the male and the human (a term she learned from Kiri because calling him an alien was far too mean), Spider, as he ran and swung through the trees before they stopped at a place she has never seen before. Vines that hung from the tree branches above. A question formed on her tongue but Lo'ak was already climbing up the trunk, his eyes set on a thick branch that stuck out high off the ground.

It was already too late to back out so she followed, having no idea what the male Na'vi was planning to do but she always knew that no matter what, he was going to shove off his skills as if he were performing for a circus. She didn't know what a circus was but she would always hear Olo'eyktan mumbling under his breath of how much of a complete circus it was whenever something didn't go to plan specifically because of his middle child.

At first, it was all fun and games. Despite the suspense, the fun he spent all night talking was about swinging on the extravagant amount of vines. Screams and laughs filled the air as the three took turns going back and forth on the long vine, the momentum allowing them to go from tree to tree.

They were having a lot of fun.

So she couldn't blame Lo'ak for how she ended up with her head being seconds away from becoming a meal for baby palulukans. While the other two tied the vines around their waist, she decided to be different and tie the rope to her ankle instead. Cheers filled the air once again as she spread her arms out to the refreshing wind. She swung back and forth at least three times. In the corner of her eye, she saw the herd coming from afar that prompted her to stiffen her posture. That would lead to her failure as gravity would take it's course, causing her to be hanging upside down.

Trying to untie the vine from her ankle took a lot of upper body strength that she was struggling to pull out at the moment. The two males atop of the tree too were struggling to pull up her up because of the many factors: how the long rope, gravity, and mind her language… fucking weak they are.

A scream, now out of fear, came out when she felt the snap of thanator jump through the air but missed by a couple of feet as she was still a bit off the ground.

Although there was only a handful of these little creatures here at the moment, she knew she was seconds away from the number of them multiplying by the seconds.

"Hey, hey! Help me up!” Y/N kept doing sit ups midair to avoid losing body parts from her heads. She could hear the bickering of the two from above and the vine budging at every attempt they had to try to pull her up. “You two have 10 fingers each. Use them, skxawngs!"

"I'd be nicer to the ones saving your life!" She didn’t know who did said that but that was the least of her worries since the vine did not shorten, it got longer. The snaps of the animals getting closer to her head. The probability of them taking off her head at 90% possibility now.

She heard their shouts of fear but a hum rang through her ears, cloudiness blurring her eyes as the blood rushed to her head.

In the moment of losing her consciousness, the herd had ran off in the other direction for who knows what reason before another blurred figure jumped into her view. They stepped down and stood in front of her, their face merely centimeters away from hers. Features familiar to the one of the fools that was still struggling to pull her back up.

It was when he sighed when she realized who it was. Neteyam.

From both trying to readjust how she looked while also trying to get her foot out of the stupid vine, she looked even more ridiculous when she fell into the field of grass below her from the vine cutting cut from above. Her legs and arms flared out in awkward positions.

Neteyam ran to her side, pushing back the hair that fell in front of her face and kept his hand on her cheek, “Are you okay?” His other hand quick to adjust her loincloth that went out of place.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Her cheeks feeling hot as she melted into his touch before her head flew to the side from him shoving her head.

“Now, what were you thinking?” Always too good to be true. She didn’t fight back when he helped her up from the ground.

Lo’ak and Spider came down from the tree, running over, “Brother, what a surprise to see you out here!” His shoulders folding back to mock Neteyam’s straight posture, “I see we all had the same idea of taking a late night walk.”

“Are you three insane? Are you asking for a death wish?”

All joking subsided, “We had it all handled. We’re just trying to have fun.”

“Have fun? Have fun?” Neteyam scoffed," This is what you call having fun? Somebody almost died." Lo'ak waved him off which only prompted the older male to continue," You both need to grow up. You're almost 18 and you're going to have to start acting like adults."

Lo'ak rolled his eyes," Then ask yourself why you followed us out here. Surely, you didn't think that Y/N was going to have a near death experience so why are you here, bro? What is that saying that the sawtute always say? FOMO? Fun out when more out?"

"It's fear of missing out." Y/N and Spider whispered to not interrupt the brothers' daily quarrel, eyeing one another in amusement.

Neteyam looked away in defeat that made Lo'ak proud," And we did have it handled. You came right when we had it." And although he said it with such confidence, his eyes diverted away because he knew he was wrong and he walked away before anyone could say anything.

"Handled, he says", Spider elbowed Y/N's side," The only thing that would be handled is there would be no horrendous singing on the way back."

She threw herself forward to jump on Spider but a hand grabbed her back, Spider sticking his tongue out at her before he caught up to Lo'ak. Her heart quickened again. Her eyes wandering from her arm to his hand, up his arm, and to his face.

"He's not wrong. How do you think I managed to find you? I followed where it seemed Eywa was covering her ears." Quick to act as if she wasn't staring at him when he looked down at her, Y/N shoved at his chest that moved up and down from laughter with her free hand with a roll of her eyes. Though he didn't budge, instead moving his hand away to wrap his arm around her shoulder.

She knew the way he touched her meant it no other way than platonic. Talks about the girls who also had eyes for him about how he is not affectionate towards others unless they are apart of his direct family. Y/N has been in this family for longer than she hasn't. Growing up with all of them had put her farther than what could be considered the friend zone but into the family zone.

She also knew that what she felt for him was different. There wasn't a time that she could pinpoint where she started to see him in a different light but it felt like she has forever. That she has loved him since forever.

As he talked to Lo'ak and Spider, her eyes had a mind of her own as she looked back up at him. Watching as the night sky illuminated his freckles.

The ride back was short but felt long. Despite Lo’ak not caring about Neteyam’s lectures, all of them dreaded Jake’s scoldings.

Y/N had to admit that he was intimidating but she knew his rough attitude was for ensuring the safety of all of them even if he tends to go a little too hard on Lo'ak. She was used to it all too. Constant lectures of how she should act and getting in trouble for the most smallest of things. At least him yelling at them was from the good of his heart.

At the moment, all she could do was simply enjoy how her arms were wrapped tightly around Neteyam's torso. Just as she was about to lay her head on his back, he angled his body so she could hear him over the wind that blew through them,"So where's my thank you for saving your life?"

Y/N squinted," Has Lo'ak misspoke? Did you have a need to fill your urge to be such a knight in shining amour?"

All the air escaped her lungs when he leaned back, "Only for you.". Arching his head back, the skin of their cheek skimming each other," I like the look on your face when I do."

"Whatever." She pushed his body back into a straight up position to hide her flusteredness. But the warm feeling had faded when she saw the rest of the family awaiting their arrivals at the entrance of High Camp.

Without a word, the four diverted their eyes away to the ground as they stepped off the ikrans. After Neteyam had helped her down, Lo'ak and him stepped in front of her to block her from the death stare their father help onto them. Of course, Spider had made his way to the front and tried to convince Olo'eyktan that it was his idea but he was quickly hushed by Kiri who was quick to pull him away with Tuk from the high tension area.

Using the boy's heights to her advantage, Y/N tiptoed to the side to try to make an escape and delay the consequences of her actions but a deep clear of Jake’s throat made her stop immediately in the steps.

"I expected better from you", Although he didn't state a name, it was clear who it was directed to. "All this time that you have to be training and finding a mate, you're instead messing around and not taking anything seriously."

"Sir." Y/N finally looked up from her feet but felt instant regret when both Olo'eyktan and Tsakarem had put their attention on her. “It was my doing. I wanted Lo’ak to show me what he’s been raving about and Neteyam only followed to make sure we were safe.”

Lo’ak shook his head, “ I actually really wanted to show Y/N and Spider this place I found so it was my idea to go out into the forest.”

Olo’eyktan sighed, “ I don’t care whose fault it is.” He pointed between the two, “ You both need to grow up. Somehow when there’s something on, it’s always you two and I’m tired of having to say the same thing over and over again especially to you.” He pointed at Lo’ak. He opened his mouth as if he had more to say but Neytiri cleared her throat and it only came out as a huff, “Don’t make me find out you’re out there after dark again. I don’t even want to look at you two right anymore, dismissed.”

It wasn't until they heard their footsteps of the couple stray far away did they look up at one another. Despite the nerves that racked their body when getting yelled at, they could help but snicker at each other's inconvenience.

"Come on, guys!" Spider waved from hut they were huddled in. It wasn't until they raced to the group did Y/N feel the sharp pain on her ankle, kneeling over next to Kiri and clasping onto the raw skin. The vine must've dug into her skin when she was struggling but she didn’t want to make too big of a deal out of it. It’d heal over time.

“What did Father go on a rant about this time? And does it even matter? He says the same thing yet Lo’ak is still going to do it.”, Kiri earned a high five from Spider on the side.

"It's so unfair. All they do is yell at me and when they look at you, they go "Y/N, Y/N, you mustn't spend such time with a delinquent.", Lo'ak mocked his father's brooding tone.

"You are a bad influence." Y/N avoided his swing through the air, making a face at him but also because the movement made her lean down against the wound.

A smirk replaced her pained look as Kiri listed out the multiple occasions in which Lo’ak did not listen to their father and how many times he was always caught.

“Y/N, are you okay?”, Tuk asked from behind, leaning up against Y/N’s back. Oh, ever the so observant. Y/N couldn’t help but affectionally rub her head but the little girl paid no attention to the cooing as she hovered over to the hand covering her ankle, lifting up Y/N’s hand, “ Oh my gosh, you’re hurt!” The girl's eyes widened, Y/N holding a finger up to her lips to shush her. Luckily, Lo’ak moved the topic from complaining about the consequences of his own actions to tease Neteyam who was quietly sitting on the window sill behind all the girls.

“Dad's all like " Neteyam, you've got to find your mate."". He teased, hoping over everyone to poke him on the arm, " Little does he know that all the girls in the village have been lining up for him and yet he doesn't care one bit."

Spider stood on the other side of Neteyam, holding his chest," Maybe he isn't into that crowd."

"Either way, we'll help you out, bro. It must be hard to juggle picking a mate while also being the best son."

"Oh shut up the both of you. And Lo'ak, you said it, not me.", He swatted at them with the cloth he had in his hand. " Besides I've already chosen."

"You've already chosen?" Kiri and Tuk gasped.

"When did you choose? How did you choose so quick?" Y/N propped hers on her knees, Tuk's body falling onto her lap.

"I guess I always knew." He shrugged," Just finding the right moment and way to tell her first. I don't want to tell my parents yet in case they make her promised to me against her will."

"Oh ~ so romantic." Lo'ak wiggled his fingers, Neteyam swatting the cloth at him again.

Y/N noticed that even though his annoying little brother was mocking him with a deep voice and making their other siblings laugh, he was staring out into the air and not even defending himself like his mind was elsewhere. She couldn't help the ache that came with the realization. He must really like this girl if he is hoping not to mess up with her.

I wish you would look at me.

As if he could hear her thoughts, he looked in her direction and she locked eyes with his. Her breath hitching as he smiled down at her instead of looking away,"What?" He mouthed.

She tilted her head and mouthed back," Who is it?"

He playfully shrugged, earning a scowl in return. Right as he was about to get up and walk over to her, Lo'ak stood in front of him with Spider. Their hands were clasped together and they looked out into the distance with starry eyes, "Oh how I love you, Neyetam." Spider spoke in a high pitched tone while Lo'ak deepened his already deep voice," Come with me as we venture into each other's bodies-"

"Lo'ak, Tuk is here." Kiri growled under her breath and rolled her eyes when she heard Tuk asking Y/N what does venturing into another person's body means. "Besides, I wouldn't make fun of him so much. He's managed to find his in a short time while who knows how long you'll take when the time comes." Kiri pointed out which Lo'ak matter of factly responded, " I don't have to worry about that. I've got Y/N. Mates for life."

"As if!" Y/N threw a pillow that Tuk handed to her to hit the male square in the face that erupted the whole hut into laugher again.

The laughter faded when a figure appeared at the opening that caused everyone to stop what they were doing.

Y/N followed their eyes and she felt as a needle had poked her balloon that was her mood, deflating it.

"Jeez, you guys are acting as if I'm a monster." Her older sister, Eyota, stood up. Her braids falling behind her back like waves when she brushed it back. Y/N knew the quietness wasn't because that they didn't like Eyota. It was farther than that. Everyone adored Eyota like how they adored Y/N. Though it was different. While they wanted to be her friend, they wanted to be Eyota's other. She knew Lo'ak's sayings were a joke because the boy has talked about how pretty her older sister is to her face and not that she cared for Lo'ak's opinion, he has never called her pretty and instead resorted to comparing her to a fish he caught the other day.

“Hi Yam." Eyota’s words slurred, making Kiri and Y/N side eye one another.

"Did she really nickname him after a vegetable?" Kiri whispered.

"Hello, Eyota." Neteyam leaned back into his previous position, cropping his leg up onto the frame.

"Hey, Eyota." Lo'ak leaned up against a pillar, attempting to cross his leg over the other but it only resulted it in him losing balance.

"What do you need?" Y/N asked, Eyota looking away from the older Sully brother and pointed with her head towards their own hut," Mother's calling for you."

"You're an embarrassment."

Y/N watched as her mother placed scoops of Teylu on Eyota's leaf, chewing on the outside of the salty seed.

"The Olo'eyktan." Her mother seethed," The Toruk Makto."

Reaching over to grab a handful of teylu from the middle of the table, her mother slapped it away.

"In front of the whole village, he addressed you." She grabbed away the leaf in Y/N's hand before she could retract it away," And you still sit here with no shame as you eat away all of your father's earnings."

"My love, it's okay-"

"It's not okay. She thinks she can run around with that demon and drag along the Sully boys into her troubles. Then doesn't even bother to come home after the Olo'eyktan scolds her." Her face scrunched up into one of frustration, disgust dripping from her tongue," It's because you spoil her that she's turned out like this."

The table remained silent, the sound of the crunching and chewing echoing in the air before her mother asked Eyota how she was doing on finding a mate.

She hated how gushy they sounded and how Eyota is praised for the bare minimum. Call it jealously. Call it envy. Y/N didn't care, she simply wanted to be treated with respect for once.

"I've had a lot of suitors but there's one that I'm planning to take a step further with."

"Whose the lucky boy?", Father butted in.

"Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan."

"Ah the Sully boy?" Mother clapped. Father's eyes widening as he spoke with his mouth full," The future Olo'eyktan?

For the first time the whole night, Mother turned to Y/N and spoke in a civil and sweet tone," Would you help your sister? Your friendship with the children will benefit her greatly."

Hate was a strong word, Y/N loved her older sister unconditionally. Y/N would never feel that way for Eyota but it was hard not to resent the older girl when she was never defending her from their mother and was now planning to court someone that Y/N has always loved.

Unable to breathe, Y/N abruptly stood from the table and sat in the corner with her back towards her family.

"Not even excusing herself from dinner and not answering a simple question. What an ignorant child." Each word poking more and more into the facade she was trying to keep up that she didn't care anymore. Opening a book that was found during one of the raids, the crummy pages of words and pictures serving as an escape for her as her mother continued to ask Eyota about what her plans were.

She didn't know when she fell asleep but the book was laid out flat on her lap and the hut was now quiet as everyone else had tucked themselves away for the night.

The ache in the back of her neck reminding her of the position she slept in. Noticing that everything from tonight's dinner was still left out, she mentally noted to herself to clean up after stretching. Careful to not step on anything or anyone, she pushed past the drapes. Once the night air hit against her skin, her body convulsed into stretches, raising her arms above her head.

A rustle made her crotch her arms down into defense mode and turn to where the noise came from.

There Neteyam stood with a bowl of an unknown substance and the same cloth he was holding a few hours ago.

"Teyam, you scared me." She set her arms down and crossed them over each other to warm herself from the cold. "What are you doing out here so late?"

He held up the materials in his hand and looked down at her ankle that she had completely forgotten about. But now that it was mentioned again, she started to feel the pain searing up her leg. "Oh this thing? It'll heal."

"When? After it gets infected? Go ahead and sit down." He jumped down so he was on a lower level, Y/N sitting down on the wooden ledge. Her body betraying her again as her heart began to race from his touch. However, it was replaced when the cold ointment met with the gash. Hand reaching out to squeeze his shoulder as she hissed in pain.

"Drama queen." He nudged," You know it's kind of crazy you came out right as I was coming."

"I have a sense of when idiocy comes around."

"It must go so crazy when you look at yourself."

He caught her ankle when she moved it out to try to kick him. She kicked again in efforts to get out of his grip but gave up after a while, allowing him to finish cleaning and put Mo'at’s medicine on.

A comfortable silence blanketing over them with the exception of some hisses from pain. An unknown amount of time had passed before the cloth was wrapped around her ankle, Neteyam’s thumb running along the closing to ensure that it was secure before he began to massage the area.

“Did you like the book?”

“It was good. A bit hard to get through because there’s a lot more words than there are pictures but I like it a lot more than the other ones you brought back.”

“Wasn’t my favorite ending.”

"Really? I liked it."

"Is that right?" He took the spot besides her, sitting close enough that their thighs touched, her heart beating once again beating harder than it should be, "Care to explain?"

"I mean sure, I wished the couple should've stayed with each other till the end. But it was extremely realistic that they didn't. Sometimes happy endings are meant to be."

"I beg to disagree."

"Oh, is that right?" She mocked his previous tone," Would you care to explain?"

Neteyam scooted closer than they were before, leaning his arm behind her," I believe that even if the world is against two lovers being together, there's always one path that brings them to a happy ending."

Is there a way for them to be together? Even if her parents were going to be against it because her sister had verbally stated her want for him first. Even if she was considered to be family by his and isn't mostly likely not seen as anything more by him? Will she have the happy ending he speaks of if she were to voice her feelings to him?

"Teyam, who are you planning to court?" She held her hand up in defense," If you don't mind me asking."

"I'd like to keep it as a surprise." He nudged her side," In fact I think you'd like her. You'd probably know her the best out of everyone."

"Interesting. Is she cute?"

"So cute."

"Even cuter than me?"

He cupped her cheeks with both of his hands and squished them together, making her lips pucker out," Now who could ever be as cute as you?"

Scrunching her nose in an attempt to shake off the jittery feeling. It didn't help that when she looked at him all she was was flowers and a bright light that illuminated around him. She didn't know it was her pure imagination or Eywa was working to create a show for him.

He then lowered his tone and slid his hands down onto her shoulders, "Now that we're on this subject somewhat. What does your sister think of me?"

And it was as if someone reached in and squeezed her heart. The tightness in her chest overwhelming every sense in her body. Why did it have to be her? Why does it always have to be her?

The signs were so clear in front of her. The special nickname she had for him and how quick she was to choose him. The fact that she knew her sister the best out of everyone and how he would get quiet like Lo'ak would in case he would say something embarrassing that would ruin her perception of him. Neteyam too cared about Eyota's opinion.

When she hoped he was talking about her, he was talking about her.

It’s been a week since that night. Her father had stepped out and interrupted the conversation so she didn't have to go on a spiel of how Eyota liked him as well because that would have honestly taken away all of her digniity. Managing to escape the question, she bid Neteyam a good night without looking back and had a sleepless night.

Neteyam's bullshit interpretation of the book was not about her and him clearly. The two main characters are Eyota and him. For she was only a side character to their love story.

If the question wasn't obvious enough to fix her narrative, when returning back with the buckets of water that her mother had requested, Neteyam stood with Eyota in front of their hut with flowers in his hand. Talks that she's heard when she spends time with other girls in the clan about how flowers tend to be the first part of the courting phase.

Now she wasn’t going a downhill spiral where she was going to let herself fall claws of depression. No, she couldn't sit around and mope about it. If the two wanted each other, she couldn't stop because in the end like Neteyam said, if two lovers are meant to be together, they are mean't to be.

But that didn’t mean it didn’t pain her to have to talk to him, knowing that he does not return the same feelings to her and having to watch him court her sister.

At first, it was as simple as trying to be as touchy as before. Refusing to ride on his ikran together or walking with Kiri and Tuk when she ventured out into the forest. But all failed the day they went out for a swim and Neteyam had beat Lo'ak to offering her hand back onto the solid grand, his arm wrapped around her to spare some of his warmth on the way back home.

For the past two weeks, she’s been walking out of any area he walks in before he approaches her after a specific amount to not make it obvious. Thought it’s been enough times so for it to be. She’s been declining Lo’ak offers to go out into the forest because she knew in the end that Neteyam would be there. She only went when she knew Neteyam would be going with his father on another raid.

It was dumb but she had to do it to protect her heart.

There had been a time when she came close to ending whatever she was doing but when she walked towards the Sully’s hut, Eyota’s hand was running up and down Neyetam’s arm and he wasn’t budging to move it, leaning against the hut as they engaged in conversation. That pinch in her chest reminding her of why she needed to take this time to heal.

She did occasionally make her rounds around the Sully's hut but not as often as she used to, finding things to occupy her time.

She was able to avoid interacting with Neteyam easily that didn't garner much questions from anybody except for maybe Lo'ak who was used to the girl dropping everything to be able to spend time with them.

Neytiri had offered to her to come over to learn how to make this dish that Y/N had previously stated a loving for. As the two sat crouched over several cut up ingredients, Neteyam had walked in to grab a cover for Tuk which was an excuse to come in and invite Y/N to chat outside. Unintentionally, Y/N made eye contact with him. His hand coming up to wave at her but Y/N turned away and asked Neytiri what kind of plant she held. A frown formed on the boy, bundling up the cover in his hands. He stood for a good second to see if Y/N would look back up but he walked out in defeat when she didn't.

Unknowingly to them both, Neytiri had saw it all and looked over at Jake, widening her eyes as if she was questioning the interaction but he could only shrug.

The morning after, Y/N decided it was time for her to learn how to make baskets as the ones her family has were starting to wear out from use. Though it sucked when her fingers were quite cooperating, "No, 'evenge, you must go under and then over." Mo'at grabbed the straw basket out of her hands and fixed the uneven pattern that Y/N had created.

"Sorry, Mo'at." She beamed at the older woman who only humphed. Propping herself onto her knees to watch her do correctly, she hadn't noticed the two other beings surrounding them.

It wasn't until the air in Spider's mask exposed the two did Y/N looked over in annoyance," Can I help you?"

"Want to go hunting?"

"I'm busy."

"Please." Lo'ak clasped his hands together.

"No." Mo'at handed the basket back to her with the correct pattern and tightened one.

"Pretty please."

“Kiri is going." Spider included but it didn't help much since Y/N shook her head again.

"Well that's one too many for you to bother now."

She successfully folded in a one and proudly held it up for Mo’at to look at who only shook her head and fixed it again.

“Why don’t you want to go?”

“I’m too lazy.”

Lo’ak groaned and began to go on a whole rant about how even if he says that he’s tired, he still has to go. He shut up after Mo’at sent him a stare. It didn’t stop his pleas for her to go, Spider joining in. Though they sounded like whiney babies, it was all white noise to her as she tried again to weave the same pattern but instead failed.

Mo’at grumbled and snatched the basket away from her, “ Go. You are not helping and these two are hurting my ears.” She shooed them away with a wave of her hands and didn’t stop until they were out of sight.

“Cmon, Y/N.” Both of their arms wrapped around her shoulder with Spider falting off her a bit because of his shorter height, Lo’ak joked,“You’d never be a lady if you tried.”.

Just as he said that, she saw Neteyam and Eyota together besides an ikran, the comment striking harder than she usually let it. Huffing out a deep breath, she crossed her arms together with a frown as they made their way to their own ikrans.

The large group gathered around their instructor. Much to some people’s annoyance, specifically the ones with the same last name as the teacher, their instructor today is Jake.

The group gets divided into two with one in the ground and the other in the sky to cover as much area as they can. It's done with a team leader picking out who they want in their groups but with Jake, he tended to put his family with him and several others in his group and then the remaining in the other. He knew he could trust the others to do their job but with all of his family sans Tuk participating, he'd rather keep a close eye.

"As last time, we'll be-"

Y/N rose her hand, bowing to apologize for suddenly interrupting," May I be excused from the sky team today and stay on the ground today? I'm not feeling all that well.". The reality was that she rode with Neteyam last time and she was feeling sick at the thought of being in such close proximity to him. She couldn't be feeling those butterflies when he was going to be betrothed to her sister.

Kiri was surprised, nudging her on the side. "There's no way you're leaving me with those losers."

"That's fine, Y/N. Make sure to stay close to the group in case something goes wrong."

With a close lipped smile, she stepped back and Jake continued to state his plan, most of the group's attention and ears on him except Lo'ak and Spider that were groaning and whining to Y/N on switching teams which ended with Kiri telling them to shut up and leave her alone even though she mumbled under her breath that it'd be no fun with only boys. Y/N giggled out a "sorry" that didn't at all sound sincere, missing Neteyam's hard stare on her.

“Has Y/N been acting strange at all to you?”, Spider asked.

“Yeah, kind of.” Lo’ak twirled a stick in his hand, “Like she stills spends time with us but she also doesn’t. I don’t know… she’s been kind of distant.”

Kiri scoffed out a laugh, “Maybe she found out she can do better than hang out with you all day.”

“You know the "you" includes you as well, right?”

“Did you forget that Y/N and I are girls which means we have a different connection which means … we talk amongst ourselves… especially about you all."

While the two boys pestered Kiri about what kind of gossip the girls do, Neteyam took front and moved large branches and leaves out of the way for an easier walkway. Though on the outside, it seemed that he could care less about the topic at hand and was simply alert on his surroundings. His mind was else where like it's been for the the past month, no, for the past two years.

His thought were interrupted when he heard a familiar giggle come from below. Rushing to the source, he leaned over the ledge and saw Y/N. Not alone though but with another boy, Zakum, that he always found a bother because of immature he is and now he was 10 times annoying when Neyetam saw how his hands were placed on her waist and the other on her arm as to position her to aim the arrow towards the stream.

The others had joined him and watched as the arrow was wasted into the water, missing the fish. Y/N pouted back at Zakum, Zakum patting her head affectionally before they both returned back into the prior position to try again.

“Isn’t Y/N a perfect shot?” Spider frowned.

Neteyam nodded. He knew because he was the one who taught her. He was the one who had his arms around her to get a perfect stance and the one who taught her the secrets of having perfect aim.

“See what I mean? There's something wrong because if she can easily get her target, why did she miss?” As if lightbulb had switched on above his head, “Oooh.”

They then all collectively placed it together with Lo’ak and Kiri ooo’d teasingly in spite of their friend knowing how to flirt but stopped when they looked towards Neteyam, his face stoic and his jaw clenched.

The voice of their father caught their attentions through the throat microphone that they were getting off track, the regrouping for the flyers occurring a while ago.

“Let’s go.” Neteyam threw himself up from the ground and refused to look at anyone, roughly pushing away anything in his way.

After a successful hunt, all the members of the clan gathered around to celebrate the winnings of the day. The meat of the strumbeest and fish grilling over the fire, families happily with one another as they fed each other. Some engaging in some indecent behaviors that involved kava and its disastrous effects.

Y/N held onto Tuk's hands as the little girl guided her around the dance line. Now instead of following the traditional dance, Tuk was making her own moves and moving her feet in a different way that made Y/N trip over her own feet when she attempted to follow her.

Tuk groaned out of frustration," Y/N, you've got to get yourself together before you fall on me."

"Come on, Tuk Tuk, slow down then! You're a much better dancer than I am."

She stuck her tongue out," I know that." She proudly grinned. She dragged Y/N around the fire to follow the others in the dance line. Even though Tuk did take the dancing quite seriously, the child would never miss out on the chance to be lifted up in the air. Y/N twirling her around in the air before the both of them got dizzy.

Stumbling to an empty spot, they both fell back onto the soft cushion of the ground. Tuk rolled over to lay on her side, her head laying on Y/N's arm.

"Y/N, I'm glad that Neteyam chose-"

A small shadow that stood over them, Tuk quickly sitting up and regaining her composure. Y/N lifted her head to find a little boy holding his hand out for Tuk to take. The blue of Tuk's ears fading into a light blue. Tuk's hand reached out for the boys but quickly retracted it when she realized that Y/N was besides her. Her eyes looking over for permission.

"Go ahead. I'm all worn out."

Tuk didn't think twice before running off with the boy.

Damn, even Tuk was having a better love life than her. She scoffed to herself. Maybe she can wallow in her self pity now. As she was in the process of laying back down, something caught her off guard that made her sit right back into position.

Eyota's legs over another person, her lips close to his ears to whisper unspeakable things. And that other person was someone that surely was not Neteyam.

Fury burned within her. She didn't think twice about her actions and if anyone was going to stare at her, the trail to her older sister almost leaving behind smoke if she had faster than she did. "What the hell are you doing?"

Eyota widened her eyes and immediately stood up, the male besides her obviously intoxicated by the way he missed her arm when he reached out to pull her back down.

"What is that language? Is that what you learn when you-"

"Shut up." Eyota and Y/N both equally stunned but Y/N continued on," Why are you being touchy with another boy? Aren't you close to having a secure mate? Like Neteyam."

"Ughh." Eyota's scowl returned, "I never confirmed that I wanted him. The whole point of finding a mate is to explore and why would I stay put with one?"

"You told Mother that Neteyam was the one you wanted to take a step further with. Isn't it working out, why are you-"

"Y/N, can I not interested in another people too? Sure, he's cute and a good warrior but I'm young, let me have fun. And when have you ever been so interested in my life? Is it because yours is so disappointing?"

Y/N brushed away the last comments, "Neteyam is my friend, you shouldn't treat him like he's some kind of toy." Y/N felt her body shaking from such anger.

"Ach! Then you can have your friend! All he does is talk about you anyways. It's insufferable."

He talked about her? Y/N's face softening at the thought, unaware that Eyota was staring at her little sister weirdly, stepping back to sit back to sit with the drunk Na'Vi.

A hum ringing through her ears as if time stopped, eyes trailing around the crowds before her eyes landed on him. His gear still on from today but paint decorated his face. He talked amongst his friends, his hands motioning a ikran flying through the air. As if he could feel her stare on him, he momently looked up and then back up, interlocking his eyes with hers. The sound of her heartbeat thumped in her ears when he didn't break it.

"Y/N!" Zakum appeared from thin air, his arms wrapping around her. A tug to pull her in the direction of everyone else. "Dance."

"No, I'm okay." Looking back in the direction Neyetam previously stood, he was no longer there.

"Cmon! It's tradition. It is the way. Dance!"

"Zakum, I am quite busy." Trying to squeeze her body out of his grip but he only kept a tighter hold.

"For a quick second, I promise and then you can go on as you please."

"Go with the boy, Y/N!" Eyota claimed, tossing her head back to take another large gulp of kava.

Seeing as there was no way out of this, she stopped struggling and let him lead her to the large crowd, his hands on her hips so tightly that she could move in the other direction if she wanted to. As everyone stood in a line, Zakum faced her and mirrored the others in line.

Typically Y/N is able to keep up but her mind wandered else where, unable to concentrate. The sound of everyone's voices and the hot air of the fire being all too much for her at the moment. All she wanted to do at the moment was talk to Neteyam about what Eyota said last.

Zakum's hot breath radiated down her neck, his skin clammy against hers. His hands running from where their hands were linked to his hips. Lower and lower he went until-

"Don't touch me like that." She pushed him away, a face full of disgust clear on her face. A stunned look on Zakum's face as he tumbled back. Taking this as an opportunity to walk and finding a breath of fresh air in an empty space away from everyone, she felt herself being pulled back around to him by her arm. Both of his hands now holding a tight grip on her.

"Where's the Y/N from earlier today? The one who was practically begging me to touch her."

The Y/N earlier only acted in that way to prove Lo'ak and Spider wrong that indeed she could be seen as a woman even though it was down in a way that didn't make her feel comfortable whatsoever. When she heard the group that hide behind the bushes rushing away, she moved out of Zakum's touch immediately. Apparently Zakum didn't get a hint that she wasn't interested when she was extremely annoyed by his flirtatious ways before and after the act.

"Get off of me."

"Come on, you wanted me earlier. Change of heart?"

A pain felt in her wrists when his grip on her grew tighter and tighter each time she budged. He used his tall height as a advantage to push her back until she felt the stabs of scratchy bark of the tree.

"You think you have better options? I'm the best you have. I can prove it to you right here. Nobody's around."

Disgust ran through her veins and clung to her skin, bile rising up her throat. Frustration causing tears to brim at the corners of her eyes. Though, she didn't stop her fight against him. Spreading her firsts to push with her palms at his chest. "Leave me alone, you perv."

"Stop fighting." He gritted through his teeth, pushing both of her arms against her chest. The pressure making it hard for her to move and breathe.

Y/N shut her eyes tight. Wishing constantly in her head that he'd magically go away and hoping that a good idea would appear into her head.

Silence.

His sweaty palms being replaced by a familiar warm embrace, the beaded bracelet pressing against her skin confirming exactly who it was. Her vision blurry at first when her eyes fluttered open, leaning into Kiri's arm.

She saw silhouettes of the two men in front of her, one pushing back the other.

"Neteyam, leave him. Let's get Y/N home."

Though he didn’t listen. Everything happened so quick but in the moment, it felt as if it was in slo-mo.

The way Neteyam threw his arm back to land a punch square in the middle of Zakum's face, the blood trickling down from his nose. Zakum threw himself toward’s Neteyam’s torso to push him on the floor but Neteyam held his place, placing another hit to his face. Zakum returned the hit with one to Neteyam's side that fell weak against Neyetam's move to knee Zakum's stomach. The blow making him fall to the ground, Neteyam hovering over him. How he kept going back in, his knuckles landing each time on the other boy's face.

The two were split up suddenly by a taller male. "Stand down.", Jake's strong voice ringing through the air, his body sandwiched between the two to hold his son back from the other. Neither of them had even seen him approach the commotion, Lo'ak clearly out of breath from trying to get his father in time before the fight escalated any further.

Neteyam didn't care though. A spine chilling look in his eyes. An emotion none of them had seen before. Sure, she's seen him annoyed and upset but this was rage. A look clear and evident that he wasn't done with Zakum.

"Can't even fight his own fights without Daddy stepping in." Zakum spat, Neteyam stepped forward with his fist up but Jake blocked him.

"You best shut your mouth before you find yourself in more trouble than you already are." Jake glared at Zakum before turning back to the others in the area. "Kiri, take your brother..." His eyes softening at the sight of the blue skin of Y/N's wrist turning a light purple. As if he was starting to get a clear understanding of what had occurred not more than five or so minutes ago," and Y/N to get their injuries checked."

Not wasting a second to avoid Jake's scolding of another member of the clan, they were quick to walk away from the scene. The last thing Y/N had saw when she looked back was Zakum's parents standing, their forehead creased from their frowns and the sound of yelling being loud for them to hear from where they were.

No words were exchanged. She knew purely from the way her mother was refusing to look at her that she had messed up tonight.

Her father helping her apply the medicine Mo'at had given to her before she was pulled away by her family to their own hut. She did want to stay with them to assure that everything was okay especially since she was the one that was at fault and caused this commotion to happen.

"Did he..." Her father's eyes watering, his body completely shutting down and refusing to even finish the sentence. Y/N placed her hands over his and shook her head. Cries racked through his body as he with his forehead pressed down to her hands.

Towards the side of the room, her sister was sound asleep underneath a blanket, the smell of the liquor she drank radiating off of her. Their mother hovered over her, a hand reaching out to smooth out the older daughter's hair.

Oddly, Y/N didn't feel the green envy that she typically felt when she saw her mother caring more for her sister. Despite what had happened to her, her mother still repelled any sense of worry to her and only cared for the simply drunk sibling. So it wasn't worth feeling.

Maybe it didn't matter what she did. It didn't matter how much she cared for her family. It didn't matter that she sacrificed her heart for her sister in hopes that her mother would be proud of accomplishing such a task. Nothing worked.

Maybe if she realized this long before, she wouldn't have gone through this effort to distance herself from Neteyam and potentially ruined the friendship they had.

The chance to talk to him seemed to pass her every time. After having breakfast with her family and taking care of the aftermath of what the kava had done to her sister who woke up with a shooting headache and had projected vomited everywhere, she was stopped by Zakum who was accompanied by his father to apologize for how he acted last night.

Quick to forgive with her mind only focusing on what Eyota had told her last night about how all Neteyam had done was talk about her. She had made to their hut but she was a few minutes off as both Lo'ak and Neteyam had gone with the war party. She used that time to apologize for the events that occurred last night but Neytiri was quick to tell the girl that it wasn't her fault while Kiri reproached her for even considering that she was.

It wasn't until later that that day when night had fallen did the opening of her family's hut swished open, the youngest Sully standing in the opening. All four pairs of eyes startled and all watched as Tuk ran over to Y/N to pull at her arm, her chest heaving up and down from what seem like she had ran here.

"Tuk Tuk, what's wrong?"

"You have to come." Urgency dripping off from her tongue," It's important." She didn't look at anyone else in the room except for Y/N, her small hands barely wrapped around the circumference of her arm. Tears streaming down her face, using all of her weight to try to pull Y/N up.

"Tuk, wait. What's wrong? You have to calm down and explain to me what is going on."

"The sky people attacked." Her words jumbled as snot and tears ran down into her mouth. "I don't know what's wrong with Neteyam. Norm took him and I didn't even see him. He was bleeding so much, Y/N."

Not only Y/N but everyone in that hut stood and ran with the child to where people were returning back. It wasn't an exaggeration to say this was the worst they have seen so far. Usually people would return with as much as a scratch but the skin of several people that were being lifted past her were almost close to falling off. Bubbles littered several other people's skin, Mo'at handing off medicine to others to be able to care for as much of the injured as she can. Several people huddled together as cries were heard among the chaos hinting that there were losses this time or they had gone missing.

Her eyes surfed the crowd to find Lo'ak and his father stood towards the opening. From their posture and the veins that popped out from Jake's throat, he was yelling at Lo'ak. That she would question later but she could get a sense that Lo'ak may have been partly to blame for what had happened today.

A breath of relief to see them both standing, she was quick on her feet and followed Tuk to them. Colliding her body to Lo'ak's, not caring if he wasn't finished getting berated. Lo'ak's returning the embrace as he wrapped his arms around her torso quickly. Hearing him whispering reassurances that he was okay, she remembered that one person was missing and circumstances Tuk had told her.

"Lo'ak, how's Neteyam?" An obvious strain in her voice as she thought of the worst.

Lo'ak's heavy sigh and the look in Jake's eyes making her heart drop to her stomach, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as tears immediately came streaming out.

"Y/N!", Kiri called for her just as her knees were about to give out from underneath her. Neytiri trailing behind as they ran over to Y/N. "He's refusing help." Neytiri spoke through dry heaves. "Norm was able to take the bullet out but he's not letting anyone touch him to clean his wounds or look at any other. There's still a lot of blood."

"He's asking for Y/N." Kiri pointed. "He keeps saying he wants her and chanting her name like she's going to appear."

So he is alive. Resisting the urge to hit Lo'ak in the stomach for scaring her but she figured he knew as much as she did about what was going on.

She quickly wiped her ears as Neytiri walked over to her and placed a hand onto her shoulder. Plead in her eyes,"Y/N, sweetie. I don't know what's going on between the two of you but I beg you to forgive him or forgive yourself."

Y/N immediately agreed, finding no strength to say no to Neytiri who bowed her head as a thank you. The two guided her the box that was full of pods for avatars, all the metals in the room shining in her eyes. Kiri handed her a mask to help her get better control of her breathing from the toxins from the air inside. Her feet feeling cold against the floors and her body full of nerves as she inched towards the closed door at the end of the hall.

Silently she entered the room with medicine that Kiri claimed would sting less compared to what Mo'at was giving everyone else, the boy hunched over with his body facing the wall. She could tell he knew he was in the room by the way his ears perked up at the sound of the door opening. A white bandage was wrapped around his upper torso but the rest of his body still full of open wounds.

She walked around and stood in front of him, eyeing the large blood spot where the bullet had entered. Cautiously she brought her hand up and placed it carefully on the gauze. Feeling his stare on the side of her face, she refused to look up in fear of how her calm facade would drop and instead moved her hand down to the much gnarly scratches that littered the open skin.

With still no words spoken between them, she set aside the bowl and instead grabbed a discarded towel that she believed was being used to clean his cuts before he became troublesome and everyone had given up.

Right as she was placed the towel onto a bloody wound, Neteyam hissed in pain. She tried to go slower and dab it instead of rubbing but he continued to groan. verbally letting out grunts of "ows.".

Deciding there was no way to ease the pain, she continued to clean off the blood less carefully and pressed down on one that was still leaking out.

His hand shot up to grab at her arm, making her finally look up at him to see that he was crying.

"Wow, I didn't know you were such a baby."

He obviously didn't find that funny as he blinked away the water that gathered at the linings of his eyes, his eyes rolling when he wiped them away with the back of his hand.

"You try getting blown up and shot at and not cry."

"I'd rather not."

Usually they'd laugh but the tension that filled the room stunted their chance to, only resorting back to the static silence. Y/N looked back down at the seeping wound and began to dab at it again.

"You know you're all I could think about."

She stopped. Only for a moment before she continued to clean the cut as if she didn't hear him. Not because she wanted to avoid confrontation but she refused to believe what he said was real.

"When I felt the bullet go through me, all I could think about was you. Wondering what the hell I did to make you to so upset that you couldn't even have talked to me. And I got so scared because I thought I was going to die out there without finding out what I did wrong and how you refuse to even look at me in the eye" He grabbed at her arm again but this time by her wrist and pulled it away from she was doing, her attention as well. Goosebumps running up her arm when he inched her closer to him, peering down at her even though he was seated," Especially when you have always told me to be honest about my feelings so why is that when I am, you're upset with me? Remember thinking, is what I did so bad? If I had known you would've acted this, I wouldn't have done so."

"That’s not the point, Teyam. You say that now but you would’ve resented and I couldn’t bear have you be upset with me.” Y/N pushed his arms away from her, cautious to not be too rough. "Teyam, I just needed time to get over it."

"All you had to do with me was be honest with me. Because I wouldn't have cared. I could never risk not having you in my life."

He wouldn't have cared. It felt as if everything had shifted two steps back when they were moving one step forward.

"Then what’s the point?” She threw the towel to the side. The fury ran strong through her veins, not expecting him to be this cold about how she felt for her. “ You’re such a fucking asshole.”

"Excuse me?"

"You wouldn't have cared? Well guess what, Neteyam, people have feelings and while you couldn't care, I'd still have to sit there with my feelings for you and watch you be all lovey dovey with my own sister. And I know my worth and I'm not going to sit there and act like I’m happy for you two and watch you try to make her yours."

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion," Wait what? Your sister? What does Eyota have to do with this?"

"Gosh if I had known how bad you are with girls, I would've have gone for Lo'ak. But of course I'm one of the many fools that has to be in love with you" She scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest. "First of all, skxawng, if you like Eyota, why would you talk about me so much? That's why she's moved on from you so fast. "

A offended look on his face appeared on his face,"I'm bad with girls? I'm far from being bad with girls. If anything, I've tried every- Wait... you're in love with me?" A smirk replacing the grimace on his face.

"Yeah. Not that'd you care or anything." She huffed," I swear, Neteyam, get that look off your face before I smack you because you're really hurting my feelings."

"Oh I'm hurting your feelings? Y/N, I've been waiting for a response from you for what seems like forever. I was wondering when you would flat out reject me."

Now it was her turn to be confused," But I saw you giving her flowers. And you asked that night before what she thought of you."

"I was giving her flowers for you. Fucks sake, they even were your favorite ones. Your mother was there as well. And I asked her what she thought of me because I was going to be courting her sister so I had to make that she saw me in a good light. And before you get confused, you. I wanted her approval so that I could pursue you."

Though the picture was perfectly drawn for her and the tie of the knot becoming unraveling and untangled, she couldn't believe it. Not when her whole life, Eyota was always first choice. She couldn't accept this reality because it simply couldn't be true, " No." She shook her head. "No, there's no way you could be choosing me. Because everyone likes Eyota more. I'm the friend and you're confused but we all know that-"

"I do not want Eyota."

"You say that because she decided she didn't want you. Because you messed up your chance with her.”

A soft pair of lips cut off her rambling, Neteyam's arm wrapping around her to place his hand on the small of her back to push her closer. His other hands brushing against her cheek. Their bodies pressed against one another like two puzzles pieces fitted together.

It took needing a breath out of their masks to break them apart, her lips parted in shock.

“What does that tell you?”

“Nobody ever sees me-"

They buzzed when he leaned back in and pressed a swift peck on her lips, using his thumb to press down on the middle of her bottom lip.

“Do you get it now?”

“Maybe just one more.”

Neteyam exhaled out a laugh, standing up and picking up Y/N by the waist with no struggle. Except a grunt of pain when she hit his shoulder and warned him of his injury. He sat her down onto the edge on the bed and leaned down again to connect their lips together for a quick second, "Oel ngati kameie, Y/N. Always and only you."

She could feel her cheeks getting hot, getting embarrassed when she knew that her face had to be all purple. Everything was so overwhelming, her mind forcing her to look at other parts of the room. What deemed as impossible of happening was happening.

He brought her back when a thumb softly pushed her chin back down, forcing her to make direct eye contact with him. His eyes so full of love and a plea that hoped that she returned his feeling and it was in that moment that she knew he was being sincere. That what he was saying was true to his heart.

"Oel ngati kameie, Neteyam."

⋆*̣̥☆·͙̥‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥˟͙˟͙‧̩̥·‧•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥•̥̩̥͙‧·‧̩̥‧·͙̥̣☆*̣̥ ⋆

a/n: omg thank you so much for reading this. i kind of struggled to finish bc idk i dont like how i've been writing cuz repetivity and also writers block. but my love for neteyam pulled thru hehehe. hope you liked it and plzzz give me criticism bc i shall learn from it!

#neteyam #neteyam imagine #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #neteyam series #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam scenario #neteyam imagines #avatar x y/n

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sugrhigh · 4 months

Text

ALL YOURS - ( roomie!matt pt 5 )

summary- you and your roommate matt have been sleeping together for a minute now, but neither one of you wants to ask the other what it means. feelings come to fruition one night at a party and the dynamics of your relationship change once again.

warnings- nsfw content ahead people so read at ur own risk, swearing, drug/alcohol use, dom!matt kinda, unprotected sex, it’s straight up smut at the end so fr don’t read it if u don’t want to!

roomie!matt x fem!reader

a/n: THIS IS TECHNICALLY PART 5 OF THE ROOMIE!MATT TEXT SERIES so if you haven’t read those you might be a bit confused. link to the master list is here.

strap in because it’s kinda long so i hope u guys love this final chapter as much as i do <3 inbox is always open xo

@sleepysturnss

rain patters against the windows mercilessly as the tv drones on, interrupted only by booming thunder every few minutes.

its late in the day now, and the cloud coverage makes it extra gloomy, even with interior lights on. not that this bothers you.

storms have always been a source of comfort in your eyes. something about them makes you feel safe, reminds you that the world is far bigger than whatever is worrying you.

“oh, i’ve been meaning to ask if you’re still seeing that guy. what’s his name again?” nick asks from beside you, scrolling mindlessly on his phone as he slumps against the couch.

you’ve been sitting like this for hours together, rotting in his living room while it continues to pour outside.

“it’s luke, and no, i’m not talking to him anymore.” you reply, trying to sound as casual as possible.

he looks up at you now, clearly a bit shocked to be hearing this. “please tell me it’s not because of my bitch ass brother.”

you bark out a laugh before you can stop yourself, mostly due to the fact that it’s absolutely because of matt. just not for the reason he thinks.

“as if. it was my decision, don’t worry.”

this is only half true. you did cut the poor guy off, but only because matt had essentially instructed you to do so before you guys had sex for the first time a month ago.

and then you hooked up again. and again. and a couple more times after that. neither of you could stop coming back for more apparently.

none of your friends know yet. as much as you want to be honest with them, you haven’t really talked about the details of this little situation. you’re almost positive matt hasn’t been seeing anyone else, but you also haven’t outright asked.

and there’s no use telling everyone about something that might not even be real.

“what made you do that? was the sex bad? is he an asshole?” nick interrogates further, clicking his phone off so his full attention is on you.

you can’t tell if he’s suspicious or if you’re just genuinely paranoid, but you don’t like this line of questioning either way.

“no he’s fine, he just wasn’t doing it. and his breath always smelled for some reason.” you’re lying through your teeth, but his face morphs into an expression of disgust like he’s buying it.

“ew, major turn off.”

“you’re telling me.”

nick sighs and snuggles further into the cushions, resting his head on your shoulder as he stares at the tv.

“well for what it’s worth, i’m sorry it didn’t work out. but who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone sexy at nathan’s tomorrow.” he says.

“yeah, maybe.” you feed into the hypothetical, even though you know that won’t be happening.

at least not if matt sturniolo has a say in it.

your music is playing softly over the speaker as you get ready, perched in front of your vanity like a doll. you’ve just finished your makeup when you hear a singular tap on the door.

“can you hurry it up in here?” matt calls as he pushes it open slightly.

you find it funny that he’s always sure to knock, ever since he walked in on you naked that fateful afternoon. even though you’re literally sleeping together now, he makes it a point to not invade your privacy.

“can’t rush perfection, matthew.” you taunt him as you put your palette and brushes back in their rightful place.

he moves further into your room, walking over to stand behind you. he’s dressed up in jeans and that black muscle tee you love so much, tattoos on display as his hands go to knead your shoulders lightly.

“you do look amazing.” he compliments.

“likewise.” you reply before meeting his searing gaze in the reflection of the mirror.

he increases his pressure slightly, digging his fingers into your neck in a steady pattern. you already know what he’s angling at and he hasn’t even spoken.

“you know, we could just stay home.” matt suggests with a smirk.

“c’mon, we can’t keep ditching our friends. they’re gonna get suspicious at some point.” you shake your head and stand up, because the massage is starting to feel a little too good.

“nobody cared when we left early last time.”

you cross your arms over your chest and turn to give him a pointed look. “because you convinced them that i was sick.”

“so i’ll just tell them a different lie.” he shrugs.

“oh my god, i am going to this party with or without you, so you better make up your mind before the uber gets here.” you say over your shoulder, headed out of your room toward the stairs.

“such a brat.” he grumbles, but you hear him following you regardless.

“only for you.”

two hours later you’re standing in the middle of nathan’s living room, dancing along with the typical crowd. nick and madi are on either side of you, both bopping around drunkenly to the beat.

you’ve had three shitty drinks at this point and your head feels a bit fuzzy. you’re positive your cheeks are flushed, which is actually kind of nice.

matt was with you minutes earlier, but he’s ventured off to get another drink. it’s selfish that you miss him every second he’s not around.

it’s just nice having him by your side. sure, it was kind of casual at first, and you didn’t think it was going to develop so quickly. but now whatever is going on between you means a whole lot more.

you like when he asks you to spend the night in his room, or when he saves the last can of redbull for you so you don’t go to work without caffeine. you like that he’s been replacing the flowers he got you every time they start die, the way he insists on driving you places even if it’s out of his way.

you just like him, and it’s more than casual. at least it is to you, and you can’t imagine that at this point he doesn’t feel the same.

but you don’t want to be the one to try and put a label on it. quite frankly, it scares the shit out of you, and you’re still not drunk enough to keep thinking about it in the middle of this party.

you see chris a few feet away against the wall, beer in his hand as he chats animatedly with nathan. you know he has what you’re looking for, so you shout that you’ll be back and head their direction.

they both smile at you as you approach, almost perfectly in sync.

“what’s up!” chris leans down a bit so you can hear him better.

“do you still have that joint you mentioned earlier?” you ask into his ear.

he nods happily, and nathan shoots you both a questioning glance. by the looks of his sleepy eyes, he’s probably already crossed.

“we’re going to smoke!” you fill him in, motioning toward the front door.

nathan nods and tells you he’ll stay back, so the two of you shuffle your way out of the living room, trying to avoid bumping into as many people as possible.

you pass the kitchen, and as your eyes scan the people you spot matt huddled in the corner. he’s talking to a very obviously enthusiastic girl, one that you don’t recognize. your stomach drops at the sight of them, and you hate it.

he doesn’t see you, so you turn your head and keep following behind chris. he’ll stop talking to her soon. he’ll probably even come looking for you instead.

right?

the crowd thins as out by the door, and the two of your step out into the fresh air moments later. the street is relatively quiet, and once the door is shut the noise of the party is muffled. there’s nobody else outside, and you’re grateful.

the other townhouses stare at you as chris crosses the short driveway so he can hide underneath the tree in the yard. you follow his lead, watching as he fishes the lighter and joint out of his front pocket.

“keeping it handy, huh?” you joke.

“you caught me at the right time, i just packed it upstairs.” he smiles before putting it between his lips.

the flame burns the end as he takes a hit, exhaling up toward the sky. you pass it back and forth in silence, both enjoying the momentary break from socialization.

chris clears his throat a minute later, nudging at the grass with his toe absentmindedly. “so, i have a question to ask you.”

he looks over so he can hand the joint back, and your hands shake ever so slightly as you reach out to take it.

“yeah?”

“i think matt is seeing someone. do you know anything about that?” he asks bluntly.

you try to remain calm as you shake your head at him, though it seems impossible. you aren’t prepared for this at all.

“uh, no?”

chris smiles just a little bit, like he’s already got you right where he wants you. “so he doesn’t bring anyone over? it’s just the two of you?”

your narrow your eyes at him. “just ask what you want to ask.”

“are you guys together?”

there it is. you were expecting it this time, and it still makes your stomach flip.

“no. i mean, kind of? we’re not like, dating. we’re just…uh…hooking up.” you’re trying so hard to figure out how to put it that it sounds horrible.

he just laughs. “no you’re not. that kid is in love with you.”

your jaw drops slightly in surprise, and this only makes chris chuckle harder.

“what the fuck are you talking about?” you ask him once he finally calms down.

“i’ve seen how he’s acting lately. so fucking goofy, like he’s got his head in the clouds. he only ever gets all dopey like that when he really likes someone, and i kind of suspected it was you.”

it’s hard to find any words. there’s simply nothing on your brain, no coherent thought to be found. chris gives you a playful nudge.

“it’s okay, i won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to. but i think you feel the same.” he makes a guess, and he’s very accurate.

you look away as you take your final hit, trying to decide how you want to respond. you exhale the smoke and pass the remainder of the joint back to him.

“okay, you got me. i do want it to be like, a real relationship. and i’ll talk to him about it soon, i promise. just please don’t tell anyone until i do.” you plead.

he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a side hug. you relax into him, and you have to admit you’re a bit relieved that at least somebody knows now.

“of course not. i’m here to support you both whenever you’re ready. everyone else will be too.”

“thank you. that makes me feel a lot better, seriously.” you say truthfully as he pulls away.

“good.” he nods in satisfaction, giving you a loopy grin.

“i’ve mooched enough, so i’m gonna go back inside, but thanks again. i owe you a blunt for the reality check.” you point a finger at him as you back up off of the grass.

“i’ll never turn that down.”

the high has taken over as you spin around to walk normally, and it’s nearly impossible to stop smiling. having confirmation that you’re not crazy for feeling the way that you do is wonderful.

you head back inside the house, almost positive that you’d find matt hanging out somewhere with your friends.

but as you pass the kitchen again, you spot him in the same place, leaned up against the end of the counter with a solo cup in hand. it seems like the girl is even closer than she was before.

your face falls immediately. it makes you angry that it’s been so long and he still hasn’t told her to get lost yet. if he wants to be all possessive over you, then you shouldn’t have to act so cool for him.

you’re certainly not feeling collected right now. and he deserves to know that.

you wedge your way around the people chatting and pouring themselves drinks without a second thought. matt sees you coming before you actually reach him, and he looks confused by your irritated expression.

you wrap your fingers around his arm wordlessly, right in the middle of the nameless girl’s sentence. he doesn’t put up a fight. in fact, he’s practically hot on your heels as you pull him back toward the hall.

“uh—hey! we were talking bitch!” she shouts after you.

“don’t care.” you don’t even give her the satisfaction of making eye contact.

there’s really no point. matt is trailing behind you like a puppy, and that’s all that matters. he clearly doesn’t want to be there any more than you want him to.

“what’s going on?” he asks as you maneuver around the outside of the crowded living room, making a beeline for the staircase.

it’s taped off to everyone except your group, in case of emergency.

this feels like one, considering you don’t even care if anyone sees you together. you don’t respond, you just let go of his hand and step over the thin barrier, glancing behind you to see if he’ll follow.

there’s a curious look in his eye, but he does the same.

you continue up the stairs, making sure he has the perfect view of your ass as you go. you can literally feel him staring, which only stokes the fire.

“are you taunting me right now?” matt asks as you reach the second floor.

this makes you pause, and you turn around so you can wrap your hand in his shirt. you yank him into the bathroom, slapping the light switch on with your free hand.

you close the door behind you, which suppresses the booming sound of nathan’s music playing through the speakers.

“what the hell is this?” you uncurl your fist and shove his chest to put some space between you.

his eyebrows shoot up in surprise as he regains his balance and sets his cup down on the counter. you realize you probably spilled some of it by dragging him around, but that’s not your main focus right now.

“what do you mean?”

“don’t you dare play dumb. you can’t stand it when anyone else even breathes near me, so why would you think that i would be okay watching you flirt with some random girl for fifteen minutes? you either want me or you fucking don’t, matt.” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

it’s shocking that you’re being this honest with him, but you’re faded and you’ve been pushed beyond your limit.

no use tip-toeing around it now.

“you think just because she came up to me that somehow means i don’t want you?” he asks, and there’s more of an edge to his tone now.

“how am i supposed to know? we haven’t talked about it, whatever this is.” you wave your hand back and forth between the two of you.

a look of understanding passes over his face. “oh, this is about labels, huh?”

this infuriates you more, because that’s not even the point you’re trying to make. he’s aggravatingly calm right now, like he’s so sure of himself.

“look, if you don’t want to be in a real relationship with me, then fine. i don’t care. but i’m not gonna keep exclusively sleeping with just you if that’s the case.”

matt is silent for a moment, eyes darting across your face. you can see him gazing at your lips, and it drives you crazy.

he takes one step forward, staring you down with those pretty blue eyes. even though your height different is relatively small, it still feels like he’s towering above you.

“are you really trying to tell me you wouldn’t care at all if i wanted to see other people?” he asks quietly.

his face is so close, and you breathe in his familiar smoky cologne. it’s dizzying, being this overwhelmingly attracted to someone.

“of course i’d be upset, but there’s not much i can do about it if you don’t feel the same.” your voice is hushed now too, and you wish you didn’t sound so weak.

matt cups your chin gently with one hand, forcing you to keep your focus on him. your heart is slamming against your ribcage now, begging for some kind of relief.

“i want to be with you so bad that it kills me.” he finally admits.

it’s your turn to be stunned, and you stay completely still as his thumb grazes over your bottom lip slowly.

“i had this whole thing planned, i was going to take you to a fancy little restaurant and ask you out like a gentleman. but you just couldn’t wait, could you?” his voice is husky, pupils blown out in lust.

“i…really?” you ask breathlessly.

“really. so what do you think? you wanna be mine?” he goads with a smirk, gripping your face a bit tighter.

it’s normally hard to swallow your pride, especially with matt, but you’re so vulnerable in this moment you can’t tell him anything besides the truth.

“i do.”

“good, because you already are.” he growls before closing the gap between you, lips crashing against yours.

he tastes sweet, like the soda he’s been mixing with vodka all night. it’s a pleasant mess of teeth and tongue as you deepen the kiss, passionate in a way that you’ve never experienced with him before.

his hands travel down to grab at your hips, pressing against you so your lower back bumps against the sink. you tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling enough to elicit a groan.

it vibrates against your mouth, and you feel yourself throb just from that little noise alone. he��s normally not very vocal, but you bring it out of him.

matt’s hands slide up your body, finding their way under the hem of your sheer lace top. his cold rings press against your stomach as he slowly inches higher, leaving goosebumps in their wake. you let go of him, throwing your hands upwards so he can peel the shirt over your head.

“so fucking pretty, just for me.” matt praises as he tucks your hair behind your ear, attaching his lips to your neck seconds later.

you tilt your head back to give him a better angle, sighing in pleasure as he nips at the soft skin. one hand is feeling up your chest as his teeth dig into your collar, tongue sliding over the marks he’s leaving in an attempt to soothe the irritated areas.

you move your own fingers down between both of your bodies, ghosting them over the crotch of his jeans, palming him just a bit. his dick is already straining against your hand, and he hisses a string of curses into your shoulder.

“no more teasing tonight, i need you now.” he grumbles, already out of breath as his hands travel to undo the button of your pants.

you take the lead and slide them down yourself, tearing your thin panties off with them because you want him just as much. it doesn’t seem fair that you’re the only one exposed, so you tug his muscle tee upwards in desperation.

matt doesn’t protest, he just tosses it to the floor with the rest of your discarded clothes. you let your fingers rake over his skin, down his abdomen and over his happy trail until your fingers meet the waistline of his jeans.

you glance up at him through your lashes as you unbuckle his belt, entirely naked now, and he swears he could finish just by looking at you.

the sensation of your hands skimming against his thighs as you drag his jeans and boxers to his ankles makes him twitch. nobody has ever turned him on the way you do, and it’s frightening how good you make him feel.

but you always enjoy everything just as much, because he’s the best dick you’ve ever had. perfect length, enough girth to stretch you out, and he knows exactly how to move to your liking. matt even keeps it trimmed nicely.

the tip glistens with precum, and you pull your hair back with one hand like you’re getting ready to put it in your mouth.

“no, stand back up baby.” he instructs, and the commanding note in his voice makes you push yourself off your knees, extending to your full height.

matt turns you around so you’re facing the mirror, one hand on your side and the other on your back as he forces you to bend at the waist. your forearms press flat against the cool marble counter, and the assertiveness of it all sends a jolt of excitement right to your core.

his palm comes down on the curve of your ass without warning, just hard enough to sting. you let out a whimper, arching your back more as you gaze at him through the reflection.

he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, smoothing his hand over the place he just hit. his eyes are so dark, so full of desire that it just solidifies the way you feel about him.

“you like that? you want me to be rough?” matt leans over you, cock pressed against you as he speaks into your ear.

“please.” you whine, shifting your hips to try and feel more of him, to feel anything.

he stops your movements immediately and smacks your ass again, this time on the opposite side. it makes you groan in delight, almost involuntarily.

“you’re gonna look at yourself while i fuck you, got it princess?” he says, backing up just a bit so he can take his dick into his own hand and pump a few times.

you nod as you feel him line himself up at your entrance, and you know that at this angle you’re perfectly on display for him.

he pushes himself inside of you in one fluid motion, and you gasp as his fingers squeeze your hip. matt doesn’t give you time to adjust to him like normal. instead he immediately starts to pick up speed, wrapping your hair in his free hand so you can’t look anywhere else besides in front of you.

your lips are parted as you moan, eyes fluttering at the stimulation. you can hear matt grunting behind you, a deliciously dirty sound.

“look at how pretty you are, taking me so well. all fucking mine.” he marvels, rocking your body against him even harder.

skin slaps together, and his pace is making your legs tremble. you can feel the party raging on underneath you, and it’s strangely even hotter in this setting.

“shit, you fill me up so good matt.” you tell him, catching his eyes for a second before he throws his head back.

“fuck.”

he’s hitting it so well, and you can feel yourself tightening around him with every stroke. it’s turning him into an even bigger mess.

“god, if you keep that up i’m not gonna last much longer.” he warns, bucking his hips into you at a slightly different angle.

you cry out at the new sensation, a guttural noise that you didn’t even know you could make.

“i’m so close, right there babe.”

matt listens perfectly, using the hand on your waist to guide you so that you bounce against his thighs in the same spot. you’re a whining mess, and you can’t keep looking in the mirror.

you feel the tears as your eyes screw shut. the fire in your stomach is growing, spreading throughout your whole body. he tugs your roots a little bit more.

“come all over my dick, pretty girl. it’s all yours.”

his words are what send you over the edge, and your body shudders as you feel yourself giving in to the high, releasing all over him.

“fuck, matt, stay inside.” you pant, and he groans loudly.

two more sloppy strokes and you feel him tense, filling you up as he finishes. matt lets go of your hair, dragging his fingers along your shoulders, you back. you look so fucked out, makeup smudged slightly under your eyes, and you both love it.

he pulls out slowly, giving you one last tiny pat on your ass.

you’ve both got stars in your eyes as you stand, and you can feel the wetness pool against your thighs. thank god you’re on birth control. this was a special occasion anyways.

you turn, and matt immediately pulls you in for a kiss. you smile slightly, because you can’t help it.

“come on, i need to get cleaned up.” you pull away slightly.

“fine.” he sighs, but he lets you go regardless.

you wipe yourself off with some toilet paper quickly and flush it while he redresses. you two have been missing for minute now.

you guess it doesn’t really matter. sure, you should probably be discrete about having sex around your friends. but you’re also together. officially.

“so, does this mean i can tell the other girls in your dms to fuck off?” you joke as you put your underwear back on, shimmying into your jeans next.

“you can honestly tell them whatever you want.” matt runs a hand through his hair, smiling at you like a fucking goofball.

you’re just situating your shirt into place when the door comes swinging open, revealing a very drunk nathan. you and matt freeze, completely unsure what to do.

his eyes go wide as he realizes what’s going on, mouth hanging open like he can’t believe it.

“woah. no fucking way”

#matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #fanfic #roommate au #smut

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