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whatyadrawin · 6 months

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The Fruit After The Flesh 18+ -CHAPTER 2-

Masterlist

Approximately 2,663 words

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt(HeadCanon) x AFAB reader

This chapters Warnings: Moderately strong language

A/n: This is the chapter giving more context and backstory to the Hewitts and the rude farmhand. Things pick up from here and will continue to keep on that exciting trajectory but remind yourself that I am the lord of the slow burn lol, I like building up to the fleshy bits. The artwork is what's keeping these chapters from coming out so quickly, I didn't want to go full flat color this time but goddamn my ADHD symptoms are making shit a lot harder to focus on so please have patience, I assure you all it is worth it. Please enjoy and keep an eye on the masterlist linked above for updates.

tag list: @fan-goddess

Chapter 2

The next day came with less heat than the first, the sun was frequently blocked out by thick white clouds that rolled against its light causing brief shadows to lay on the land. You started unpacking more and more things from the container you shipped to the house before you moved, making sure that everything that you needed was properly put away. Eventually it was time to head over to Luda Mae’s house and you wanted to make sure to look presentable for tea time. Thoughts of what her family was like raced through your head, you especially wanted to know who the mysterious masked man was. You slipped on a nice pink sundress that you made yourself, you covered your shoulders with a white cropped cardigan and some white sandals that were comfortable to walk in.

You decide to visit the farmhand again in an attempt to make friends so he wouldn��t be so hostile, you grab your things and head down before you make your way to Luda Mae’s home. You spot him tending to a peach tree and you walk over.

“Hey there, I don’t mean to bug you when you’re busy but I just wanted to see if you would take a break and chat for a bit?” you tried to use your friendliest smile.

“Ya can’t see I’m busy girl? Why don’t you go screw off with your riches and leave the farm to the only person caring for it all these years!” his words were so needlessly callous, but you continue,

“I know you’re busy but why don’t you tell me what I can do to help? It doesn’t have to all land on your shoulders anymore”

He laughs to himself and says “Why? So, ya can just fire me when ya get the hang o’ things? Women can’t do this kinda labor, why dontcha just sit there and look pretty”

The sexism was shocking but you didn’t want to let that garbage stop you “I understand you are upset from the change but I assure you I just want to be friendly and helpful”

He turns to you with a smug look “What kinda friendly we talkin’ ‘bout here?”

You get creeped out as he stops his work and looks at you in a more predatory way, but you persist,

“I just mean you don’t have to worry about doing all the work by yourself, I can help you, and by friendly... I just want to have a civil professional relationship with you, nothing more”

“Thinkin’ ya deserve some kinda good treatment huh? How ‘bout me? Don’t I deserve compensation for the work I did all these years? I ain’t talkin’ bout wages neither”

You wonder what he means by that, so you try offering solutions “What do you need? Maybe I can get you a better living situation or more tools to make the work easier?”

He didn’t like anything you had to say, “Ya think it’s just that simple? I like where I live, I like being left ALONE!”

You feel a knot forming in your throat, being treated like this was so hurtful “Ok, well, I’ll leave you to it then. Have a good rest of the day”

He made you feel like shit, all the memories of people bullying you and your old friend were coming back and you just wanted to get away. Your heart was racing with anger and the familiar feeling of an old depression started to creep back in.

You start making your way towards Luda Mae’s home and hope that the walk calms your nerves and lifts your spirits enough to enjoy the rest of your day. The sun was peeking out from behind the thick clouds and brightened the dry road before you, tiny little white flowers sparsely lined the sides of the road and made you smile. You closed your eyes and made your mind blank, only listening to the gentle wisps of the wind rustling the tall wheatgrass, and the crunch of dry dirt with every step you took, some birds could be heard in the distance chirping cheerfully. You felt like you were in a different universe where time stood still and it was just you and the earth around you.

Shortly, you arrive at Luda Mae’s property, she had a wire fence blocking the four grazing cows in and there were a lot of cars sitting in a lot near the main house, it seemed odd but you just assumed maybe one of them was a mechanic. You walk up toward the barn and hope to see that mysterious masked man but the barn is empty minus some clucking chickens strutting around. You make your way up to the door and knock, an older man answers it, he looks you up and down and smiles,

“Well now, I didn’t know it was my birthday” he says. You can hear Luda Mae yell at him to shut up and let you in. He drops the smile and waves you in, making you walk closely to get past him. Luda Mae meets you as you walk in and she introduces you,

“Sorry ‘bout him sweetheart, this is my brother Charlie. Come on in dear, I can’t wait to talk with you, Loretta brought some real good tea for us to enjoy” She gestures for you to follow her and you speak to Charlie as you pass through,

“Nice to meet you Charlie, I’m Y/N*”

He smiles as he looks at you saying “Mhmm, I’ll remember that” you feel a shiver of discomfort after he says that.

You follow Luda Mae through the house which has very old furnishings, its large with high ceilings that are dotted with large fans to circulate the air; The décor was definitely very dated but kept clean, the furnishings may have once displayed wealth in a past long gone. In a large living room, you see a man reading a newspaper, Luda Mae stops at the doorway,

“Hey Monty, turn ‘round a sec”

The man was older, he turns around peering through his large thick glasses “Yeah?”

“I’d like you to meet the young woman who took over Tilly’s orchard!”

He sets down his paper and tried to turn to face you better “Oh! I didn’t know Tilly had children?”

Luda Mae replies “No, this is Y/N, she is a distant relative of hers”

You make a shy response “It’s nice to meet you sir”

He smiles “Well she’s real polite ain’t she? Nice to meet you too kiddo, I’m uncle Monty”

Luda Mae guides you over to the back porch which has Loretta already seated at the table. Luda Mae waves to her and says,

“Loretta, this is Tilly’s family, the one I told you ‘bout”

Loretta was a big woman, her cheeks were rosy and full, her dyed black hair was perfectly styled up into pin curls remniscent of another time, she smiled and said “Well, now ain’t she just a pretty little thing!”

Luda Mae gave you a smile and sits you down in the chair next to Loretta, you set down your basket and go to shake her hand saying “It’s really nice to meet you Loretta, my name in Y/N”

Loretta smiles and Luda Mae asks what you have in the basket you brought. You lift the basket onto the table and show them the fruits you picked for them today. Luda Mae claps in approval saying,

“That is so kind of you to bring some fruit over, I ain’t had a good peach since Tilly passed.”

You still weren’t quite sure about the way Tilly had died, you did not get much information out of the Lawyer and the files said there was no reason for an autopsy since she was so old. You ask Luda Mae and Loretta about it

“I don’t want to open old wounds or anything but, do either of you know how she died? I never got a proper answer”

They both looked at each other and Loretta answered “Well now Tilly was very well liked by everyone who knew her, she lived here a while you know. While yes, she was old, she was still in good shape and the sheriff’s department in the next town over didn’t give us any details, just said it was from old age and left it at that”

Luda Mae chimes in “I am suspicious that Dover did it”

“Luda Mae!” Loretta shouted in shock.

Luda Mae crosses her arms and continues “That farmhand has been a cruel and unappreciative man for as long as I remember, I tried to tell her to get rid of him what with all his talk about taking the orchard someday, but she was too kind-hearted and wasn’t able to keep up with the demands of caring for the trees. She was always looking for the good in people, even the evil ones. Bless that woman.”

Loretta nodded in agreement that Tilly was kind, she looked at you and said,

“You know, Fuller was doing well in the past, there was big business in cattle and meat packing. Everyone was makin’ good money ‘til the ranchers died and their property managers sold off the cattle to northern companies, that killed this towns economy. People were leaving in droves and so was the money.”

Luda Mae looked out into the field and added “It got to the point where we all had to resort to terrible things just to survive, but there was no way I’d let my family starve.”

Loretta gave Luda Mae a stern look, her eyes wide, she cut in “That is until Tilly decided to plant a bunch of fruit trees from the seeds of the fruit she bought from the store. The Texas sun made those little sprouts explode into full size trees, and she had us all fed by the fruits they made, we didn’t have to just survive no more, we were able to live normally again. It was all thanks to her”

You smile at the fact that someone from your family was regarded so highly, it gave you a warm feeling. Luda Mae pours you some tea and follows up with,

“Tilly made sure that we had animals to provide us with bounty, everyone shared what they had, even before the trees were makin’ enough to bring in money, in return we gave her the manure for the trees.”

Loretta looked antsy, she changed the subject “Well now, that’s enough of those depressing times.”

Luda Mae and Loretta started talking about the town and how things used to be, you sat listening to them for an hour until you noticed the mysterious masked man. He was heading toward the barn and you could see him tending to the cows inside, he was even bigger in person, his body looked like it was used to working hard, his muscles were large but had no hard edges as if his strength was supplemented with a rich diet full of American cooking. The man was brushing the cows, plumes of dust and dirt would fly out from each swish of the brush. To see him close was astonishing, you felt like you were seeing a new kind of human, he was so gentle with the animals and yet his appearance was very intimidating. You tried to look and see if you could get a glimpse of his face but his back was turned to you.

Luda Mae notices you looking and says “I see you’ve noticed my boy there”

You snap out of your trance and blush in embarrassment, she laughs and adds,

“He’s a real handsome one if I do say so myself, his name is Thomas. He’s real shy, but as sweet as they come. He’s a good boy, extremely helpful with managing the animals and taking care of the property.” She pauses and puts her hand to her chin “You know, he’s ‘round your age and its high time he meets someone nice, I’m gonna call him over.”

You felt butterflies for the first time in years, you quickly respond “That’s ok, he looks pretty busy, maybe he should be left alone”

Luda Mae smiles “Come now dear, he can come say hi, it ain’t no bother” She calls out to him “TOMMY! COME SAY HELLO TO THIS NICE YOUNG LADY!”

Tommy looks up quickly, he spots you on the porch and freezes.

Luda Mae yells after him again, “THOMAS BROWN HEWITT, YOU COME HERE RIGHT QUICK! DON’T BE RUDE NOW!”

He furiously shakes his head, turns and runs into the barn out of sight.

Luda Mae sighs “I’m sorry sweetheart, he really is a very nice boy, he’s just awfully shy, especially ‘round pretty girls, the poor dear”

You felt a wave of relief that someone else was maybe as anxious about meeting new people like you were, you reply “It’s ok, I’m sure I’ll meet him when he’s ready”

Luda Mae gently places her hand on yours “I’ll make sure of it, he needs to make some friends, it gets mighty lonely ‘round here. With someone as sweet as you I’m sure you two’d get along just fine”

Loretta takes a final sip of tea and gets up saying “Well, time for me ‘n Monty to head home, thanks for the conversation, Y/N, it was a real treat to meet you”

Luda Mae thanks Loretta for the tea and says goodbye, she then turns to you and says,

“Well, I know you probably want to get back to that orchard, please don’t let that prickly pear Dover get to you, Tilly kept him ‘round because he worked hard, no matter how awful he behaved, just let him be, pay him and ignore him the rest of the time. If you make friends with my Tommy, well, I’m sure Dover won’t be a terror”

You get up from your seat and say “Luda Mae, am I in danger with Dover?”

Luda Mae puts her hand on her heart and says “I’m so sorry for scaring you dear that was real thoughtless of me. I’m suspicious of Dover yes, but there’s no way he will hurt you, none of us will let him”

You thank her for the tea and leave from the back porch making your way towards the barn hoping to get a closer look at Tommy. When you reach the barn doors you see Tommy on the opposite side of the barn facing the open doors fiddling with some hay. The butterflies are welling up in your stomach making you feel sick with excitement, you stand there watching this enormous man whose back was extremely wide and his forearms were thick and scarred. You were struggling to take in as much of his image as you could before you could quietly sneak off, just as your eyes started travelling down south, he turned around and saw you.

“I-I’m sorry!” you squeaked as you bolted off down the driveway.

You felt so embarrassed at being caught watching him, you hoped he didn’t think poorly of you. You spent the walk home trying to calm the butterflies and stop blushing -I can’t believe how creepy of me that was, he is going to think I’m a freak!-. When you get home, you see that Dover was in his small house watching something on a small tube tv with a large bunny ear antenna. You feel sad that his accommodations are so meager and decide to speak with him again tomorrow to try just one more time to get in his good graces, you always believed that you could kill them with kindness, especially in the event that he really was a danger as Luda Mae said, then you would want to be in his good graces. You start to make dinner and think to yourself -I hope I am able to properly meet Tommy-.

Next chapter-

#what ya writin #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x y/n #slasher community #thomas hewitt x afab reader #leatherface 2006 #texas chainsaw massacre #my art #the fruit after the flesh

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fangirltothefullest · 9 months

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I know lots of people have problems with Matpat but he went off when he talked about Disney and other film industry bigs basically creating cash grabs that aren't working because we are all SO fucking tired of watching our heroes become old jaded sad men. He's so right and he should say it.

Obi-Wan? Depressed jaded old sad man.

Indiana Jones? Jaded old sad man.

Luke Skywalker? Depressed jaded old sad man.

Jean Luc Picard? Jaded old sad man.

Why the hell would I want to watch any of these people now when all they do us suffer needlessly? Like I get it, I love drama and thats a huge part of fandom, but this isn't drama this is old man pity party. It would be like taking Gandalf and making him sad and miserable and all his friends are dead and thatshis only prsonality is stubborn old white man who wont doanything because boo hoo poor me i fucked up once and now everything is shit i just cant go on.

Why the hell are we watching these people when literally nothing good or hopeful ever happens to them??? Even Loki is bordering this if they aren't careful.

Make a better plot goddammit.

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fifteenth-entity · 9 months

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Surprised no one is talking about Tulin

Or at least not that I have seen, because just Rito village as a whole was so depressing to me, and I just feel the overwhelming urge to talk about it.

This is obviously for pre-Colgera stuff, but let me tell you, as someone who did all of the other main quests before Rito village and left it for last (cuz it's usually my favorite to do cuz I like flying and archery), going to Rito village was so horrifying at first.

It's the only place so far in TotK that I feel mimicked the feeling of desolation and abandonment as well as BotW did, because in BotW, the Rito are all so friendly to you and while they live in fear of Vah Medoh, they're not in immediate danger, which makes Rito village as a whole quite sunny and enjoyable to be around, that alongside the fact that it's a relatively easy to traverse landscape and the Rito aren't needlessly cruel to you, just rather dismissive. And then in TotK, you enter, expecting the sunniness (in attitude at least) of Rito village, only to be met with a silent, snow-capped landscape with zero life in sight.

And then you go to the market and you see it's being manned by a child. And then the only demographic you see manning the village is children. And then you realize all the adults have abandoned ship while they wait for you to come help and the children had to step up to the plate of supporting the village.

And then you meet Tulin.

In the beginning, I was slightly relieved to see Tulin be with Teba - finally, I thought, a supervised child, a child that doesn't have to take up the mantel of being an adult to survive.

And then Teba talks about the Stormwind Ark's song, a song originally sung to children, who by the way still believe in the existence of the Stormwind Ark, and how all the adults believe that the Stormwind Ark exists. And Tulin dismisses it as just a fairytale.

That crushed me. Of course Tulin has grown up, he's not the same fledgling he was in Breath of the Wild, he can hold his own. He doesn't need fairytales anymore. But even Genli, who looks to be around the same age as Tulin, believes in the Stormwind Ark. Every child and every adult believes in the Stormwind Ark, except for Tulin. This child has had to take his role as protector of the village so seriously that it has disillusioned him. Disillusionment isn't a good feeling even as an adult, but a child should not have to be disillusioned, especially when it comes to a higher protecting force like the Stormwind Ark is supposed to be. Tulin should still be allowed to believe in the existence of a Stormwind Ark. But he doesn't, and he speaks about its nonexistence with such conviction, with such confidence, that it's depressing.

Which, then, puts into context why Tulin was so dismissive of Teba's tutelage. Teba still believes that there is someone who will come save them, so the man who taught Tulin to take initiative and fight for the village's safety, isn't doing anything to help the village. Instead, Tulin's tutor sits around and waits for a saving grace that, in Tulin's eyes, is not real and will not come to save them (because why wouldn't it have come already if it were real?). So, when Teba is stressing the importance of stuff such as training and teamwork, Tulin is quick to dismiss him - Teba believes in something as fake as the Stormwind Ark, why wouldn't he believe in other fake concepts? (Yes, this mindset is extremely juvenile, but Tulin can't be more than 12.)

Link doesn't start out the BotW/TotK duology as an adult but when he joined Tulin, I was so relieved that someone more experienced would be there to take some of the burden off of Tulin. And when he got the secret stone and had to vow to help Link save Hyrule, that pained me. I didn't want to have a child accompanying me in a mission to save the world because no child should have to do that (Riju included, honestly, but Gerudo values muddle that conversation a little bit). And then I remembered it's only a ghost of Tulin that follows Link, not Tulin himself, and I felt slightly better about it.

But when you look at the wider picture, pre or post Colgera, Tulin is a child soldier, essentially, and I'm surprised I haven't seen people talk about him more as a character. When people call into question how dark TotK is, I just... immediately think of Tulin. This kid is forced to live in a dark and disillusioned reality because of the wider circumstances, and he's conditioned by those circumstances to be alright with that. I don't know if this was intentional or not, but that's quite dark on Nintendo's behalf.

And when I put it this way, there's also some parallels to draw between Tulin and Link here, but that's a different conversation for another day.

I just think this part of the story is depressing, and Tulin is my favorite character. And just to reiterate the title of the post - I'm surprised I'm the first person I've seen bring it up. I don't know if this is a bigger conversation, but if anyone has anything to add, I'd love to hear it because, owch :")

#legend of zelda tears of the kingdom #loztotk #totk #tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom spoilers #tears of the kingdom tulin #totk tulin

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t1sunfortunate · 2 years

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the unfortunate reality is that sns just isn’t that good.

sure, it could have been good if this or if that or the other thing, but the fact of the matter is that it’s not, and the main reason it isn’t is actually touted by a lot of sns fans as one of the central pillars of the relationship.

when kishimoto retconned naruto and sasuke’s relationship to state that they always understood each other, he undermined an entire series where the central conflict was about the two of them not understanding each other. to read from the beginning with this interpretation requires you to cast a ridiculous, needlessly complicated filter over all their interactions, giving them the character of a pair of chessmasters, rather than young boys. naruto and sasuke, if you throw out the retcon, read as a perfectly comprehensible narrative about two children who (realistically!) can’t see past the intricacies of their sociopolitical situations to understand that they have a lot in common. over time, their emotional maturity grows, allowing them to begin to realise this.

this is why the “i’ll bear the burden of your hatred and die with you” scene is so weighty; naruto is acknowledging that it is the realities of their circumstances that keep them apart, and he wants to meet again in another life where none of that exists. this scene is the canary in the coal mine, letting us know this relationship is going to end in tragedy; they’ve chosen separate ways, paths which are inevitably fated to cross, and the only way for them to meet again as friends is in death. he’s finally come to understand, but it’s too late. when faced with the choice of sasuke or konoha, naruto chose the village. that’s a huge choice that should, realistically, come with a consequence. even if this ends, somehow, with the both of them alive, the memory of that choice, and the circumstances that created it, remains. because naruto (the manga) is an immature narrative, however, there are no realistic, interesting consequences. sasuke is made to give up and magically let go of his grudge against an institution which murdered his family and destroyed his life, of his pursuit of justice, which, from the very start, defined him as a character, so naruto can have both his friend and the admiration of said institution. the end of the series is the death of sasuke’s character, and i could go into an in-depth analysis of chapter 699 and how i think kishimoto knows this on some level, hence why sasuke never truly returned to konoha (ergo, to naruto, since, in becoming hokage, naruto becomes synonymous with konoha). sns is depressing. i see the tongue-in-cheek posts about the sns affair, the sns divorce arc, and all i can think of is how bleak an ending this is for sasuke, and how out of character it is. what i wouldn’t have given for him to hear “i know your heart, and you mine” and lash out with a resounding “no you don’t”.

but the late series, and shippuden as a whole, more and more as it drags on, is synonymous with predetermination superseding free will. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that i don’t see many sns fans talking about the first part of the series, where naruto and sasuke are actually forging this relationship. sns would be nothing without the story pre-timeskip, but people tend to focus on shippuden-era sns, which, to some extent, i understand. this is the era most fraught with emotional tension (and where naruto spends the entire time with a thought bubble that says “sasuke”, because he lost all of his depth as a character from part 1 in favour of that, but i digress), but when it comes to looking for the core of their bond, to the actual raison d’être, the entirety of part 1 gets far less press than the scenes of them as young children in the academy – scenes which were introduced extremely late in the series as brief flashbacks. kishimoto’s fixation with destiny invalidates the themes of part 1 on all levels, and the sns relationship is in no way exempt.

so could sns have been good? yes, as a tragic relationship, disregarding the retcon. except, from what i see, people who like sns seem to really, really like it. they take the overly-complex retcon interpretation and use it in support of a “naruto and sasuke always loved one another” or “naruto and sasuke had their positive feelings for each other twisted by their martial society” reading. it’s not even that these are inherently bad takes, in a literary sense, it’s simply that they don’t hold up to the rest of the manga. asserting in the very late series that these two characters have been watching each other for some time doesn’t hold up with the reality of the story, which begins on naruto and sasuke having no thoughts or opinions of one another beyond their surface-level feelings towards a classmate they don’t particularly like or understand. the growth of this into their genuine bond is much more meaningful, because it occurs textually. it is a true show of increasing mental and emotional maturity, rather than a frustrating wait for the characters to stop dancing around the conclusion of their emotional journey, which they already know, for some reason, from the beginning. that’s the core of it, really: the retcon puts the end at the beginning, making the entire story a pointless exercise in futility. destiny is wholeheartedly embraced as romantic and self-evident, rather than the death of narrative and interpersonal complexity, and the fundamental truth that love is a choice – the continual, conscious decision to choose each other, day after day – and we already know what naruto’s choice was.

(you might say, well, I think X or Y should have changed; naruto should have learned about the destruction of uzushiogakure and understood he and sasuke came from a very similar situation, – which, itself, rests on another late-series destiny boner retcon – naruto should never have become loyal to the village after the way he was treated, naruto should have joined with sasuke to tear down konoha – but that’s not the way it was written, and if this is your justification, you admit it is a relationship as flawed in its narrative as the ones it is so often purported to be so much better than.)

#naruto #analysis #meta

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blondeboyfriend · 1 year

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𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 (𝐈𝐈𝐈)

[panel reads from right to left]

« Part 2 | Part 4 » [ PAIRING ] Zeke Yeager x f!reader [ SYNOPSIS ] As summer comes to an end Zeke disengages from you until he reaches out to go on an excursion to the headlands. [ WORD COUNT ] 3.9k [ CONTENT ] Mentions of vomit and underage drinking, cigarettes, a little angst, depression, kissing, and y/n and Zeke pop off about gentrification because I have a lot of feelings.

September rolled around much too fast. August felt like a blur.

Neither of you brought up the kiss or your confession after it happened. You assumed it would be a turning point in your relationship with Zeke, but he acted like that day with the snow cones was merely that: a day with snow cones. Following his lead you kept your feelings to yourself and masked your disappointment with a cool, carefree attitude. You tried to mirror Zeke’s behavior, unbothered and unchanged.

But you weren’t particularly good at it. You couldn’t kill the longing glances you’d give him when he wasn’t paying attention.

That’s why it wasn’t particularly surprising when Zeke drifted away from you. He never outright ignored you, but you knew you weren’t a priority anymore. He’d make plans with you and cancel them at the last minute. He was always so apologetic, so disarming. Anytime you planned to call out his actions he said something that quelled the raging sea inside you.

“You realize this is the fifth time you’ve done this to me, right?” you managed to ask one night.

It was one of the odd times he called you. Usually you were the one chasing after him.

“I know. I know. That’s why I wanted to make it up to you. I’m not doing anything this weekend. I’m free tomorrow.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you scoffed.

You heard him deeply sigh.

“I swear.”

You didn’t want to get your hopes up. There was a lengthy pause between you two. You could hear Eren being a little gremlin in the background.

“Fine. What do you wanna do?”

“I want to go wander around up north.”

“You don’t mean that in a Into the Wild sense, right?”

“What? No. I want to go see the ruins of that burnt down swimming pool thing. Fuck. I don’t know what you’d call it. A bath house? No. I don’t like that implication…” He trailed off. “Hold on.”

You held.

“A swimming hall? Natatorium? The… whatever. Look it up. The owners burnt it down themselves.”

“I have to do homework? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“You have to go with me. No one else will.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for him. Zeke could be so needlessly sensitive. You couldn’t think of a reason why none of his friends wouldn’t want to go cavorting around the physical remnants of insurance fraud.

“Alright. I’ll go I guess. But you’re buying me food.”

“I’ll cover everything!” he blurted out.

“I was cool with you just buying food but okay.”

“Shit. I got ahead of myself,” he lamented.

Zeke met you at the train station. It was a shock to see him in normal clothes even if this wasn’t the first time. He actually looked rather put together. Dark green corduroy straight leg pants, a fitted grey t-shirt lazily tucked in, and matte black Doc Martens. He had a windbreaker tossed over his arm, his backpack dangling lazily off his shoulder.

“Did you seriously do a French tuck?”

“Excuse me for watching Queer Eye and taking notes… Do I look stupid?”

No, you thought to yourself. He looked positively adorable. You tried not to stare at him too hard; you didn’t want him to see you all starry-eyed because he wore pants with no grass stains.

“You do but it’s whatever,” you lied.

“You look… nice.”

You were dressed the same as usual. It was impossible to tell if he was being an ass or was simply nervous and didn’t know how to express himself.

“Just nice?” you teased, opting to give him shit.

He glanced to the side, scratching behind his ear.

“I lied. You look like garbage.”

“On a hot, summer day?”

“Only the hottest for you, kiddo.”

Kiddo. You hadn’t heard him say it in so long; it was music to your ears. Memories of the good times came flooding back to you, but still. You couldn’t kill the vague sense of resentment you held deep inside.

Zeke bought your train ticket as promised. He winced when he saw how high the fares went up.

“That much to get to the city?”

“I know. The more transplants that move here, the more expensive everything gets.”

“You know that place where we'd get those breakfast sandwiches by my house?”

It was clear where he was going. So many old standbys were going out of business. Your favorite bookstore had just shut its doors the week before, a heartbreak if there ever was one.

‘It’s gone, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, couple weeks ago. It’s going to be fucking beer garden.”

“Not another one!” you shrieked.

Beer gardens seemed to be popping up everywhere. They were the bane of your existence. They were overpriced. You were too young to go to them. And wherever they popped up so did an influx of drunken tech workers.

“I know. Poor Eren thought it was going to be a bear garden.”

The two of you trudged up the stairs to the train platform because as per usual the escalators were out of service and the elevator operated at a snail’s pace.

“A bear garden could be cool,” you pondered.

“Eugh. No. You could not do that humanely.”

“Oh well excuse me for entertaining a child’s idea,” you snarked, elbowing Zeke gently in the ribs.

“Sorry, sorry. I spent an hour trying to tell Eren why it would be fucked up. It was like talking about SeaWorld all over again.”

“You’re probably better off not trying to educate a little boy on that stuff.”

The train rolled in the second you summited the stairs. You both sprinted to the train, bumping into each other as you tried to enter the doors side by side at the same time. Just as you were about to eat absolute shit, Zeke reached and grabbed your waist saving you from colliding on the dirty floor of the train.

“Thanks. I would have been pretty grossed out if my face touched that.”

“No problem. You’re, uh, too cute to be falling face first into old gum and whatever that stain is.”

He pointed at a particularly gross, mysterious stain. You shivered at the sight of it and collapsed into a seat. Zeke sat down next to you and rested his head on your shoulder.

“You have a lot of nerve acting like this considering you’ve been a total dickhead to me.”

He shut his eyes and exhaled.

“I know.”

“Are you going to bless me with an explanation?”

‘It’s embarrassing for so many reasons.”

You gently pushed him off of you.

“I think we have time.”

He was silent, shoulders slumped forward. He obscured his face with his hands.

You continued, “I tell you I like you. You kiss me. And then you disappear?”

“I didn’t disappear. I talked to you.”

“Barely! You sent me memes, Zeke! That doesn’t count.”

“They were really fucking funny though. The best ones in my camera roll. I don’t send those to just anyone.”

“That almost makes it worse. You thought you could placate me with memes? Pictures of cute dogs? Panels from Boy’s Club?”

He finally looked up, and fixed his gaze on you.

“They were the best panels. The funniest ones.”

“Zeke. Please tell me you’re kidding,” you sneered louder than expected.

The lone man sitting sharing the train car with you scowled and went to the next one over.

“I needed to disengage! Summer was getting close to being over and I was thinking about college. I mean, this was fun—”

“Was? Was fun? As in it’s not fun anymore?”

He turned away and looked out the window. The cerulean sky was dotted with fluffy white clouds. The weather couldn't have been any more spectacular, a rare even temperature day in September. It was a shame it was being wasted on a mess like this.

“That’s not what I meant. What? Were we supposed to date and then I leave for school? That would’ve just made it worse.”

“... Hold on.”

“What?!”

He didn’t quite yell at you, but it was a tone you hoped to never be on the receiving end of. You’d seen him pull it with his dad constantly, and Eren maybe once or twice. But never you.

“First, you’re not allowed to talk to me like that.”

He lightly banged his head on the window, but remained silent.

“Second, if you were leaving for school you should be… not here right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay so why are you not gone?”

It was hard to make sense of any of this. Your feelings were hurt by how he was acting but you were more concerned with his vagueness.

“I didn’t get in,” he muttered in the littlest voice possible.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“And you didn’t tell me this because…?”

You wanted him to look at you so you could understand him. He was more than capable of hiding behind his words.

“I felt stupid… I… only applied to one school.”

Consoling him crossed your mind, but you knew he’d never accept it. The rest of the ride was in utter silence.

When you got off the train Zeke looked miserable. A melancholic fog hovered around him.

“Are you hungry?” you asked in a gentle voice.

“I guess.”

“I was thinking the ferry terminal might be cool. There’s a ton of crap there.”

He shrugged and started to walk ahead of you. You grabbed his arm, yanking him backwards. He turned and faced you, utterly bewildered.

“I thought we were hanging out.”

He sighed and adjusted his glasses.

“Good point. I don’t know why I did that. I have no idea where anything is in there anyway.”

“Listen, let’s get some overpriced food. Sit by the pier, watch the traffic on the bridge while we wait for the bus to the headlands. And, I don’t know, you can maybe talk to me?”

“I think I can do that.”

“Good because you said you were paying for everything and I didn’t ask my mom for any money,” you said, holding the door open for him.

When you walked in you were inundated with the smell of fresh baked bread. The inside was magnificent, natural light streaming through the windows of the nave. You walked through the marketplace, peering at every vendors’ wares.

“I want gelato. No wait, macarons. No wait, definitely gelato… Shit no actually—”

Zeke cut you off, stopping you drowning in indecision.

“Both. We’ll get both,” he said, patting you on the head.

The gelato shop ended up having an incredibly long line and neither of you were feeling patient enough to wait it out. Any hint of disappointment either of you felt melted away when you spotted the macaron stand.

You ordered a dozen of them without looking at the hefty price. Zeke winced as he pulled out his dad’s debit card. You could not give a shit. The macarons looked so precious packed away in their pastel pink and green box.

“Let me get the Earl Grey one,” he said as you both walked to the bakery that filled the terminal with the smell of fresh baked bread.

“Not yet!”

He rolled his eyes.

“You’re torturing me on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Kinda,” you said, getting in line to make him buy you a baguette.

“We should get fancy cheese to go with it.”

You weren’t in love with him by any means but you knew if he kept saying things like that you could be. He must’ve known it. He smirked at you the second he noticed your eyes get all wide at the mention of cheese. The disappointment between the two of you when you realized a hunk of aged cheddar would cost you an absurd amount of money was intense.

“What about the camembert?” Zeke asked.

“Twenty bucks.”

“You’re joking. It’s just fucking cheese.”

“Kid, no one’s saying you gotta buy it.”

“Kid?!”

You grabbed Zeke by the arm and dragged him away from the creamery. Getting out of there was your number one priority even if his artisan cheese induced anger was hilarious. You knew he was mere seconds away from going on a tangent about capitalism and dairy farms.

“Kid?!” he repeated as you led him into a gourmet grocery store.

You eyed the perfectly ripe avocados, rushing over to lightly squeeze one.

“They’re perfect.”

You grabbed three.

“That seems a little excessive,” he muttered.

“Oh hush, kid.”

“Seriously?!”

“Zeke, you literally call me ‘kiddo’ constantly. I hope the irony... is this irony? Whatever. I hope the irony isn’t lost on you.”

He read the back of a bag of trail mix.

“Good point.” He paused. “Do I like walnuts?”

You ripped the bag from his hands, saying, “No, it’s pecans you like.”

“I’m glad one of us remembers,” he replied, grabbing a different bag.

After you thoroughly spent his dad’s money on expensive food you sat by the pier to take inventory. Staring down at the box of macarons you realized that maybe twelve was too many for two people.

“You were right. Six would have been plenty.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve amended my stance on that.”

“Have you amended your stance on not telling me shit?

He sighed and looked at his phone.

“Bus will be here in five.”

“Come on! You’re lucky I’m even here with you. I thought about not showing up as some sick form of revenge for how you’ve been acting.”

“I don’t know what to say honestly. There’s no excuse.”

“I’m not asking for excuses. I’m trying to understand.”

He stood up and pointed at the bustling street behind you. A puff of exhaust smoke tickled your nose as you heard the squeak of old brakes.

“You can try to understand on the bus. Let’s go.”

The bus ride felt endless mostly because Zeke didn’t say much the entire time. Forty minutes of what you considered dead air. He’d occasionally comment on how choppy the waves were as the bus snailed across the bridge. He looked so dramatic, eyes narrowed, the side of his head pressed up against the cool window. You knew he was struggling trying to articulate his feelings but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You look so serious right now.”

He turned to you, looking like the definition of miserable. It seemed to be his default emotion for the day. Just as he went to open his mouth the bus driver slammed on the brakes. The crackly speaker mumbled the name of your stop and you both stepped off the bus.

A swift coastal breeze pierced through you. Shivers invaded your body. Your jacket did little to protect you. Without a word Zeke put his windbreaker over your shoulders. You went to say something but he spoke before you had a chance.

“I’ll be fine,” he muttered, wandering down towards the concrete ruins of a burned down natatorium. “I run warm. You know that.”

You hated yourself for knowing that. Many summer nights were spent curled up in a field, head resting on his chest, clinging to his body because you were always a little cold regardless of the season.

His windbreaker smelled faintly of cigarettes and laundry detergent. After pulling it on you trailed after him, carrying the food rather precariously. He turned around and saw you struggling to maneuver yourself down the hill in one piece.

“Shit,” he said, bounding up the hill, grabbing the baguette from you.

“Wow, thank you so much,” you snarked. “You can’t do this shit to me. The whole ‘let me do something really fucking sweet and then act like a clueless asshole the next’ act is tiresome.”

He lowered his eyes and said nothing. You wanted to shake him but, again, losing your footing and careening into the ocean would’ve been hell itself.

The ruins weren’t nearly as interesting as you thought they’d be. When you read about the place getting burned down by the owners in the 1940s for insurance money it sounded so intriguing. But now standing on the concrete ruins all you felt was disappointment.

Zeke sat down and watched as the tide came in and crashed against the ruins.

“I am sorry. You know that,” he murmured.

“I don’t though!” you exclaimed, opening the box of macarons.

Zeke’s hand snuck inside immediately and grabbed the Earl Grey tea one. It was almost as if it materialized inside the box.

“Basically my hubris destroyed my life.”

“That seems really dramatic.”

“It is. But there’s still truth to it. I assumed being an athlete would make up for my average grades.”

“Is that your wording or—”

He cut you off. “Mine. Obviously.”

“I always thought your grades were really good,” you said, biting into a macaron.

“Really good is apparently much more relative than I initially considered.”

“So something shitty happened to you and you decided to push someone that cares about you away?”

“Yeah,” he said, exhaling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Where did I say I wasn’t?”

You sighed.

“Good point… I don’t know. What you did fucked me up.”

“I know.”

“I literally had just told you I liked you.”

“I know.”

“And then you ignore me.”

“Yup.”

He reached into his jacket pocket, hand brushing up against your body, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

“Sorry. I should have taken them out before you, uh, put it on. That felt invasive.”

You stifled a laugh and patted yourself down for his lighter, handing it over once you found it.

“Do you mind?” he asked, holding up a single cigarette.

“Only if you let me have one.”

“You almost got sick last time.”

“Okay, well… The key word there is almost.”

He relented and handed the cigarette to you. You stared it down, hoping this time you’d be able to keep your cool. He lit it for you like a gentleman. One inhale left your eyes and mouth watering. Zeke plucked it from between your fingers.

“Oh god! Why!?” you called out to the heavens.

“I refuse to feel bad for you. This is the fifth time you’ve done this, kiddo.”

“Fuck you,” you said, spitting into the ocean trying to rid yourself of the taste. “Stop humoring me!”

“I am in no position to say no to you. I’m trying to get back on your good side, remember?”

You moaned and took a sip from your water bottle. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face. The tenderness nearly killed you.

“Why did you leave me hanging? You could’ve cried on my shoulder. These babies were made for crying,” you said, gesturing at your shoulders.

“Embarrassment.”

“Seriously?”

“Pride? I don’t know. Nothing I say is going to make sense. I was acting childish.”

“Okay true.”

“Everyone tried to tell me it was going to be fine, that everything would work itself out, but it didn’t change how idiotic I was.”

“You were confident. Overly. But not idiotic.”

“I also didn’t feel deserving of, you know, people being so fucking understanding.” He took a drag. “Even my dad was understanding which made me withdrawal from everyone out of spite.”

“I mean you saw all your jock friends so you didn’t withdrawal from everyone.”

He reclined, his body lightly thudding against the ground. He took another drag off his cigarette.

“Nope. I lied. I was holed up in my room, wrapped up in a blanket like a hermit,” he said, exhaling.

You bit into another macaron; you didn’t know what to say.

“I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to see you, but I, I don’t know, felt like I was stuck. I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“I saw you barf into your own hands at a party once.”

“Don’t.”

“You tried to carry it outside.”

He winced and finished off his cigarette.

“Please,” he begged.

“You wept and asked if I’d move to Bombay Beach with you.”

“Stop torturing me.”

“What I’m getting at is I have seen you in much more pathetic situations. You being depressed is way more manageable than you and your vomit hands… to me at least.”

Depression was significantly more complicated than cleaning up a drunk teenage boy. You knew that and kicked yourself for being so callous.

He laughed and put out his cigarette.

“Good point. You’ve definitely seen me at my worst.”

You both sat in silence and ate the macarons. However this time the silence was pleasant. You watched the waves flood over the ruins, leaving them covered with sea foam. A deeper understanding of Zeke’s situation had been granted to you. You were still hurt but at least you knew why he acted the way he did.

“What are your post-graduation plans?” Zeke asked as you both sat on top of a decrepit building used to store military shells. “I probably should have asked that earlier.”

It was your idea to check out the old military buildings nestled away in the hills. One battery touted a perfect view of the ocean. When you crested the hill you were blown away by the vastness of the Pacific. You knew it was big; you weren’t an idiot. But seeing it stretched out in front of you, seemingly endless, was awe inspiring.

“I’m gonna work at the nursery down the street from me, you know, tending to the plants and shit. I’m hoping I can save up enough money before I decide what to do in terms of college. I figure I’ll give myself a year.”

“See? Why can’t I think like you? That’s fun and reasonable.”

You laughed and nudged him with your elbow.

“I mean it kinda sucked realizing I couldn’t just afford to go to school. I dropped the ball on scholarships.”

He broke off a piece of the baguette and handed it to you.

“Eh, it happens.”

You bit into the baguette, savoring the tanginess of the sourdough.

“Could be worse. You could have died,” he quipped.

“The bar is on the floor then if that’s the case.”

“It’s the little things,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

You both stared out into the ocean, the sunlight glimmering on the waves.

“When’s the bus supposed to come?”

“An hour or so,” he replied.

“Am I… going to have to worry about you disappearing on me after this?”

“I’d like to think that I won’t. But I feel odd making any promises.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d rather not hurt you again.”

“I’m not asking you to sign a contract,” you giggled. “I just hope that summer isn’t the only thing that brought us together. That’s all.”

“I always assumed it was ditching class. Our benign rebellion.”

Zeke was able to go from dead serious to joking around so fast it made your head spin.

“You can be so obnoxious sometimes.”

“I only do it because I like you.”

“Really?”

He turned to you and pulled you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

“Yup. You’re stuck with me now. I dare you to try and get rid of me.”

It never occurred to you to do such a thing. This is what you always wanted, to be near him. To have his arms wrapped around you, his soft lips pressed against your skin. You needed to remember this moment, to hold onto it during the unkind winter. Every detail was crucial. How his hair got tousled by the salty, sea breeze. How his glasses fogged up when you threw caution to the wind and kissed him deeply. How awkward he was after and how he apologized for not being a good kisser.

“You’re too self conscious,” you said, wrapped up in his embrace.

“Well excuse me for wanting this memory to be special.”

He looked inhumanly adorable as the waning sunlight danced along the apples of his cheeks. The moment couldn’t get any more picturesque.

“It already is.”

#zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan fics #shingeki no kyojin fics #zeke yeager fics #zeke jaeger fics #.fics #.aot #.zeke #x reader #reader insert

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crackinwise · 9 months

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Feeling like I'm getting pranked by these story and directing choices.

Turns out Elsbeth KNOWS of this planet and the Mothers were calling her, and even Baylan knows it by the place purrgils migrate to die, but no one knew where it was or how to get there? Nightsisters knew how to ride purrgils but Elsbeth never thought of that this whole time, just like Ahsoka and Sabine--who witnessed Ezra do it--never had the idea all these years? Did I miss something important? It is very possible I did.

Sabine isn't even trying to escape the cuffs or cell or plan anything using all her experience as a badass Mandolorian and Rebel? She just sits around waiting for her fate, then busts out another failed Force move first before any other practical option? I don't know this Sabine, Filoni.

It is very weird and unearned to set up a "hey wanna hear how the universe began?" just to start it off with "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." Sir, Dave, my dude: that's the start of a whimsical fictional tale akin to "once upon a time." I thought Ahsoka meant old history lessons, not a fairytale? Also, that's Jump The Shark, ouroboros world-eating, meta nonsense even Lucas didn't do. You're really not going to tell us anything about this new galaxy we're going to or how long people have known of other galaxies or the means to get there? Really? Do you direct scenes just to eat time?

Sabine to her Howler, a too-smart canine-like pack animal she's known for like an hour, after it wisely fled from being murdered by bandits: "You abandoned me >:(((" ....Is she serious? I'd rather have my living transportation flee to use again than be needlessly killed? It came back! Wtf did you want?!

Baylan just sounds like a Dooku rehash. He's given us no new insight WHY he thinks the Jedi weren't enough or failed. Because that might flesh out a character and Filoni can't have that.

You'd think the reunion would be more excitable? Hype? Emotional? Sabine has apparently been depressed, doing nothing in Ezra's tower for years but they both reacted like they saw each other last month. Does Filoni know people are allowed to emote? Gasp, squeal, bounce, grin wide, cry? DIRECT, DAMN YOU!

Sabine isn't going to tell Ezra how she got here? Isn't that important? He sacrificed himself to exile Thrawn, and she's not gonna mention he's packing to leave? That she has no means to get them out of here herself? That for all she knows Ahsoka might be dead and not working on a rescue? She just wants to enjoy seeing him again? Is she.... does this version of Sabine have a lobotomy or overdose on valium? Is that what I'm missing here?

My brother is watching all these eps so excitedly, like he's marveling at a huge ornate castle appearing before him. But I feel like I was too skeptical to enjoy the castle, so I walked around its edge and saw it's really a fake façade propped up with plywood.

#ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #star wars #ahsoka critical #idk

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anti-katsuki-lounge · 1 year

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ok i think it was in this blog that i saw either you or someone else say that mha feels edgy for the purpose of being edgy , and as someone who aspires to create their own stories i wanna avoid this , could you go a bit more in depth about why you feel it is that way and how it could have been improved ? (and if it wasnt in this blog im sorry i mixed it up)

It was actually this blog, so no worries 😊. Well, it was either this blog or my other one 😂.

This is something I wanna cover in more depth but for now, I’ll give the basic points. Several trigger warnings apply, so don’t read this if you feel reading traumatic experiences can trigger your own trauma. Also, spoilers for Doki Doki Literature Club, Invincible, Moon Knight (comics), and The Flash (vol. 2) #197.

So some of my favorite stories are extremely dark. My favorite villain, Hunter Zoloman, is a man who after a hero “failed” to help him in a moment of tragedy, gained powers and felt that tragedy shows a hero’s true colors. Wally West’s Flash was his target, and he felt that if Wally understood tragedy, he’d rise up stronger. This man brutalizes Wally, his friends, and causes his wife to have a miscarriage.

Comic Book Moon Knight is about a man who not only struggles with DID, but also struggles with a God that wants him to be his enforcer of vengeance. Moon Knight is a man who constantly destroys his relationship with others because of his demons and can never know peace.

H.P Lovecraft’s works are about how there are these unknown horrors that exist and how our existence in such a vast world is utterly meaningless.

Doki Doki Literature Club tackles mental illness while also serving as a psychological horror story. Combine the two, and you can see why it’s so dark.

Now, what do all these stories have in common besides being well written? Well, they follow one of several rules of writing a dark story.

The first rule is that there should be a balance of dark and light moments. In stories, you can have dark moments, but it should be balanced by lighter moments. Whether it’s a relationship developing or moments where hope can be found, it’s important that these moments do happen and it’s perhaps the easiest method of making your story dark, but not needlessly edgy.

But what about stories that don’t have this balance? What makes them work then? The second rule is that there should be a purpose for said darkness. Moon Knight’s relationship with his DID and Khonshu (his god) is the core principle of his character. It’s what makes him Moon Knight and not some other stereotypical vigilante. H.P Lovecraft’s stories tackles the themes of being meaningless in a vast universe that will forget you eventually (while also serving to tackle his own problems). Zoom is meant to tackle the question of what makes a hero. Most, if not all heroes, experience tragedy, so is that what makes a hero? Someone who has experienced tragedy and rises up to prevent similar events from happening to others? Doki Doki Literature Club analyzes different forms of abuse/depression and the question of “what is life”? What makes someone human rather than a machine? The dark events that happen to these characters and that these characters cause ultimately serve a purpose to the story. They also have to be appropriate for what the story is. Moon Knight wears white so people see their blood as he beats them and marks his enemies. That’s meant to show that Moon Knight isn’t the most sound of people and that he aims to inflict fear upon his enemies. Monika makes a joke about Sayori’s suicide before you discover her body, which is another instance of foreshadowing. Omni-Man beating his son and murdering all those people are meant to show us that Omni-Man is a horrible person compared to Invincible, who despite his flaws, is a good person as shown whenever he feels immense regret after failing to save someone or fucking up. It’s when things get into Revenge Porn, Edge Porn, and Torture Porn territory that your story is no longer dark. It’s just edgy.

The third rule is that there needs to be stakes involved in said darkness. The stakes with Zoom’s character is Wally stopping a man not only more powerful than him, but is willing to ruin the lives of both himself and everyone else that is a hero. Moon Knight’s mentality is constantly challenged. Whenever he tries to be a better person, his demons threaten to drag him back down at any moment. Both H.P Lovecraft and Doki Doki Literature Club involve a mystery as a means of raising stakes. You want to know what is causing the abnormal events taking place in the story and are anticipating what happens next. Characters you love could be killed and/or corrupted at any moment. The stakes have to be reasonable though. A Moon Knight story involving the end of the world isn’t going to work because the character of Moon Knight isn’t meant to be involved in that realm of storytelling. He works better as a mystical hero that is roughly street level. Monika in DDLC threatening to take over the world wouldn’t work because that’s not her character. She wants to experience reality and does what she does because she believes her friends and her world aren’t real. Her wanting world domination and being willing to kill people in the real world would go against her character.

The final rule ties into rule 3, and it’s that the stakes need to be foreshadowed in some way and not just pop out of nowhere. In DDLC, Act 1 has some foreshadowing but the audience will not think much about it until Act 2. The dialogue said by the characters all serve an important purpose in that regard. Monika’s poems in Act 1 also hint at this, but a first time viewer wouldn’t realize its significance until Act 2. In Act 2, you notice how most of the glitches involve Monika popping up in some way, which when it’s revealed that she’s sentient, it makes sense and doesn’t come out of nowhere. Moon Knight’s entire identity is built up on his DID and Khonshu, so when something happens as a result of either, it doesn’t come as a surprise.

This leads us to MHA. MHA does have some dark moments that follows these rules. The Todoroki family subplot follows rules 2 and 3. Shoto’s relationship with Endeavor falls under rule 2. It is an obstacle that has weighed him down and has prevented him from being the best hero he can be. Now he’s aiming to overcome said obstacle. Dabi follows rule 3, where you’re questioning how Shoto and Endeavor are going to overcome Dabi and the consequences of Endeavor’s past. The School Festival Arc was a low stakes one that allowed Izuku to breathe after going through an arc involving child abuse and death, following rule 1. It also follows rules 2 and 3, where the purpose of the arc is to set up the idea of redemption.

MHA also has “dark” moments that are either unnecessarily dark or simply don’t work. During the Sport’s Festival, Recovery Girl tells Izuku that continuing to use his quirk the way he has been will make him unable to use his arms again (see rule 3). This was a perfectly reasonable stake, but then Recovery Girl tells him that she refuses to heal him. That’s just adding salt to the wound and makes Recovery Girl look like a dick. She’s supposedly knowledgeable on quirks and served as All Might’s doctor, so maybe she could’ve given him some advice. The War Arc and Izuku’s Solo Arc had no resting period between them (rule 1), which would be fine if there was a good resolution, but there wasn’t. It’s nice that 1-A wanted their friend back, but they were literally preparing to drag him back using some weird ass torture device. We never get any more insight regarding Izuku believing he has to do everything himself (missing the mark on rule 2). We get Katsuki’s speech, but good god does he miss the mark. It misses everything he’s been through, everything that Katsuki HIMSELF caused. Sure, All Might didn’t make things easier by telling Izuku that he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone else about his quirk, but Katsuki’s the reason why his self esteem is absolutely shattered. Throughout the story, Izuku’s either constantly criticized or abused for the sake of it. Most of Katsuki’s behavior towards him isn’t necessary. The suicide baiting comment was to showcase the hatred Katsuki has for Izuku and hammer in how much Izuku suffers from the other boy. However, Katsuki nearly nuking him, sabotaging his exam score, and just being a dick to him really doesn’t do much else. We get it, Katsuki’s a fuck who hates Izuku, but it’s not like any of that’s ever brought up again after the USJ. Was the scene where he stabs Izuku necessary at all? The whole Quirk Assessment Exam was also BS and it paints Shota in a bad light (breaking rule 2). So we’re supposed to expect a kid who only had his quirk for like a month to not get last and expelled? That’s just dumb, especially since a little bit of basic reading would show Shota this. Speaking of Shota, his backstory is only explained through a SPIN OFF before making its way to the main plot (and it was hurriedly thrown in there rather than time being dedicated to establishing said backstory), which is not how you should do a reveal at all (breaking rule 4). If you didn’t read the spin off, then you’re not really going to care about Shota’s relationship with Oboro/Kurogiri. Shota’s trauma is also never explored either and it’s just treated as this offhand explanation for Shota’s behavior rather than a core element of Shota’s character. (breaking rules 2 and 3). Moving on to another character, let’s talk about AFO. He constantly breaks the final rule numerous times. The story seemed to be setting the stage for Tomura, but then AFO randomly decided that his grand plan was to possess him instead (rule 4 broken). Where the hell did that come from? Like seriously, having AFO pass the baton to Tomura would’ve been a far better decision than whatever the hell this is. Yuuga’s reveal was awful (breaking rule 4). He only had one big moment where his true nature was hinted at and then he’s shoved in the background twiddling his thumbs until Hori remembered he needed to wrap that plot up. Simply put, these instances feels like Hori trying too hard to add angst/drama/stakes to his story, but none of it feels organic or well thought out. They don’t offer much to the story and if you removed them, he’d have time to actually focus on his well thought out dark moments.

#anti katsuki bakugou #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #mha critical #bnha critical

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eldritch-spouse · 2 years

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Table anon again! For the millionth time! Because I'm fucking hooked! God damn it!

Anyways, idk if you take requests or not, but... I'm sure you remember that Patches Nebul Morell thing 👉👈....... I'd- yeah I'd kill to see a fic about that...... I KNOW YOU'VE GOT OTHER THINGS TO BE DOING BUT I can hope....... also I'd scream if you did it so there's also that

;w;

[There's a lot of things I want to do, and my biggest grievance is that days are far too short for all the shit I want to get done. :') But I like this scenario. POV shifts sporadically between all three.]

TW: Anything involving Morell usually warrants gore or blood; Socket fucking (sort of??); Patches lives through damage that would maim someone.

" So, it has come to this? "

Nebul looks at the monster before him. A frankly pathetic display, as per usual.

The dullahan sways slightly in place, and while Nebul's sense of smell is greatly diminished compared to that of most living monsters, he can practically smell the alcohol wafting off that green vegetable head. He's more than hammered, the wraith would be surprised if his coworker was able to tell left from right. Patches won't meet his eyes, not after boldly draping himself over the shopkeeper's counter, but the radiant flush of seaweed green on his cheeks speaks for itself. Words aren't needed for the wraith to tell that this one wants to be taken for a ride, but he'd like to hear them anyway, so Nebul remains impassive until the pressure forces speech out of the other.

" I dunno... A-Are you busy? "

Lollygagging. But it's usually very easy to make him speak.

" Am I too busy to fuck you? "

The green monster fumbles, withdrawing from the counter momentarily. Nebul deeply enjoys it when people understand that he can't be so easily seduced, that manners will get them everywhere as opposed to whorish displays. But then again, the dullahan probably already knew such, maybe he just wanted to provoke the shopkeeper. He won't put the scientist above that.

Claws tap harshly against wood.

" Mm- Well... "

" Come now, say it, you were brave enough to walk here. " He doesn't have to be so mean, but he can be.

Patches sighs, lowers his hat, gloved digits fiddling with a small vial of fey powder lying around. " It's early... I know you don't have anything better to do, so- So why not do me? " Lord, he's corny. " I can take anything you dish out. Go wild. "

There's some truth to his statement, undead monsters have a pain tolerance that makes the strongest wrath demons froth at the mouth with jealousy. Nebul can go to greatly depraved lengths with the dullahan. Though, he has to question why his coworker is so keen on seeking pain lately. Something must have happened, and Nebul isn't so sure if feeding that urge is the best course of option right now. In fact, the mildly depressed signals he's picking up on will warrant a talk later on. Not right now, the dullahan needs escapism and attention for the moment.

Nebul rises from his seated stance, waving at Purpur, who is currently playing with the bobbles in a display pen. The little spaghetti ball gets the message and uses his tendrils to scoop the creatures into the shop's backdoors, staying there.

" As a matter of fact, I am too busy to indulge you, slut. " Nebul starts, never missing the shiver of want that races down Patches' spine upon the correct terminology being used to address him. Though it's humorously followed by a wispy exhale.

" That's fine, I'll j- "

" However- " He interrupts. " You're still of use to some of us. "

Patches "blinks", machinating the wraith's intentions. No time is given for him to think.

" Go on, undress, must I spell everything out for you? "

" N-No. " The dullahan starts fumbling with his needlessly complex outfit, circled idly the wraith, who watches him with an unwavering eye.

" No what...? " Nebul stops by the display rack exposing several sets of collars and leashes, picking a golden-spiked, velvet collar and a thin but durable leash of the same hue to match it. It's not actual gold, that'll spook the dullahan, Nebul is not that heartless.

" No, master! "

Well, he certainly can't complain about the monster being clueless. He catches on to what a dominant figure wants to hear fast, even if much too clumsy for the other undead's tastes.

" Very well. "

Once he's standing still, both hands politely covering his shame and eyes cast to the floor, oh what a view, Nebul hums, placing the collar around the dullahan's neck in a motion that's almost mechanic, given how many times he's done it before. The leash clips with a neat metallic noise.

A beat of stillness passes between the two men, Nebul appreciating the straight posture Patches is able to keep in spite of spending his days curved over an office chair. He insists on wearing the hat indoors and it's frankly infuriating. The moonlight can't snare him from inside! Foolish. He tsks softly, depositing the hat on his counter and letting the rest of his clothes lay on the floor for now.

There's a wordless nudge of Nebul's clawed finger against the green monster's bare arm, an expectant nod spared his way. Patches slowly allows his limbs to drop uselessly, revealing a half-hard length. Right, he's heard of this before, people who seem to get aroused under the influence of alcohol. Not that the dullahan wouldn't drink if he wasn't already intent on humiliating himself, this is just the liquid courage propelling him forward.

" How often do you masturbate? "

The question sounds fairly out of left field, and the other understandably fumbles. " I- ? Uhm, o-once or twice. "

Nebul stays put. " You are insulting my intelligence. I suggest you don't repeat that. "

" D-Daily... "

That's a little more like it.

" From now on, you will cease that. If you're so intent on bothering your coworkers for pleasure- " The wraith leans in. " You will let them have control of it. "

Someone definitely liked hearing that, if the downstairs twitch was anything to go by. " Y-Yes, master. "

" Good. " A dark, dusty gray hand curls around the dullahan's length in reward, giving slow, luxurious pumps. The undead's hands aren't very soft, courtesy of his weathered nature, but they don't need to be. Patches makes a quiet moan when Nebul deliberately allows long claws to flirt with the underside of his cock. He's full-mast in moments.

As soon as that's established, the cloaked monster quickly retracts his touch. Cold, heartless, uncaring. " Walk. " The wraith commands, holding the crimson leash. " And touch yourself along the way. "

Patches gawks, making a noise more akin to an incredulous squawk than anything, walking anyway. " B- Buh- Neb- "

" Did I stutter? "

Nope. It'll be a cold day in Hell before the shopkeeper is caught stumbling over words.

" N-No, sir. "

" Then start. "

And he's led to the elevator in that state. Naked, collared, with trembling hands reaching for his own cock like some mindless pervert that can't help himself. Patches gulps, full of delicious shame even as Nebul calmly presses a button on the elevator wall, not sparing the pumpkin-headed monster a single glance. The dullahan gets momentarily distracted by his own motions and huffs in the quiet of the confined space, finally getting a pleasant buzz of sensation.

He's mid-stroke when a ding rings out, and in steps a pair of monsters he doesn't recognize, clients no doubt. A wave of mortification courses through Patches, who flushes ten shades darker and averts his gaze immediately, aware he's being stared down with equal parts disgust, amusement and mockery. The moment he stops moving however, Nebul spares him a frigid look. Well, he's incapable of facially emoting, but intent is transmitted near flawlessly anyway, and Patches senses nothing but menace in the wraith.

So, accordingly, the dullahan resumes palming and teasing himself shamelessly, open-mouthed. The shopkeeper then casts his attention towards the pair, towering over them. His regard is wordless, but an air of challenge hovers over him, as if daring the two to say or do anything stupid. Needless to say, they don't, awkwardly huddling closer to each other.

An undefined amount of time later, the elevator door parts again, and the pair of clients basically scrambles out, Nebul had been exerting a lot of pressure on them, but he can't be blamed, can he? It's only natural to be protective of your pathetic pets. Patches finally understands where he is when the sound of cutlery clinking together and droning chatter can be heard. The restaurant floor. Ah... It's only early evening, so it's not as busy as it would be say, during witching hours. But more than a couple of heads certainly swivel at the sight of an imposing individual like Nebul casually dragging another monster on a leash, said monster swaying lightly and fisting his own dick.

Lord, he's dying of shame, but he's throbbing harder than ever.

Wait... Why is he in the kitchen? Oh fuck. This is what he meant. Oh shit. Morell.

" N- Nebul?! " The crack of his voice is high-pitched and cringe-worthy.

" Hush. "

Inside the kitchen, not that much is going on, the place is inundated with bobbles rushing around, a cluster of them worried over ingredients, some cleaning counters and others washing dishes. Turnip is orchestrating most of this. The vast majority of the small creatures are too preoccupied with their curreent tasks to care about the pair of monsters that just walked in, recognizing them as their boss' coworkers. The pink in question does eventually speak.

" Mistah Nebul, mistah Patches. " He greets, seemingly unfazed by the monster "forced" to touch himself in plain sight. " What can I help y'all with? "

" Where's your boss? " Nebul begins.

" Sir's in tha back. " The warehouse, so to say.

" Playing with the food? " There's a subtle hint of glee in the wraith's tone. If Morell's getting frisky with his pigs, then it'll be much easier to tilt him into playing along for this.

" Yep! " Chirped without an ounce of awareness.

" Splendid. Go call him, it's urgent. " The pink bobble nods, trotting past the two and disappearing behind heavy doors. Nebul turns to Patches and taps the chopping block functioning as a kitchen isle, there are knife marks on the surface, but it's otherwise spotless. The floor around it has drains, no doubt for the bloodshed that happens here regularly. " Sit. "

And the dullahan does. He can't help but feel a touch of panic, never wanting to be subjected to the butcher's treatment. Or maybe, maybe Patches would like that- Though he's not gone enough to throw his life out for an orgasm. Hopefully. Jury's still out on that one. Nonetheless, the dullahan's hand still works quickly at his own girth, mind rouletting through possible scenarios. He's going to get split open by the mushroom monster, spitroasted between the two, maybe forced to take both at once, he can stretch far enough, especially with a touch of magic! Nebul's going to slap the shit out of him while he bounces on the cook's fat fucking-

Fingers snap before his face, making the pumpkin man gasp.

" Morell will kill you if you cum on his chopping block. " The wraith warns. " Hands off. "

Patches wasn't even aware of how lost in his own pleasure he was getting. Sure enough, a little bit more and he'd be risking a premature orgasm. He doesn't doubt the chef would do exactly that, to be fair.

Speak of the devil, heavy footsteps signal Morell's arrival, the kitchen doors opening to the sight of him wiping blood off his hands with a towel. He doesn't look very amused, and his frown only deepens when he stops to take in the sight of the collared, naked dullahan on his kitchen isle.

" Tha fuck's yer problem?! What's all this shit? "

Oh, he's definitely not happy about being interrupted. Patches shrinks in himself silently. Nebul remains impassive, noting the tent on the cook's pants when he moves to slam the dirty towel next to the sink. He looks back at the duo with a furious, tense glower.

" You seem upset. "

" DO I-?! Wise ass! " He leans against the counter, arms crossed, it speaks volumes of Patches' depravity that he remains hard in spite of the chef's yelling. Perhaps because of it.

" Mhm. " Nebul clasps his hands. " See, I think you're in dire need of relief. You're awfully tense, Morell. "

That actually makes the shroom bark out a laugh. Now he's curious. " Ha! I don' suppose yer offerin'? "

Nebul chuckles quietly. " Perish the thought, my dear chef. " Patches' leash is tugged harshly, making him choke. " I usually don't sell this type of product, but I believe I can interest you in used goods... "

Morell's attention is diverted to the pervert twink on his chopping block, glowing eyes accessing him sharply. It takes a long, drawn-out pause full of quiet tension... But eventually, a bit of a smirk pulls on the mushroom monster's face, just barely visible above his scarf.

" What's yer deal, pumpkin? Ya wanna be some kinda Merry Go Round? Anyone can catch a ride? " The chef teases.

Patches nods, definitely too drunk and stimulated to be ashamed of himself, the wraith having already successfully put him in a submissive mindset.

" I don' even think ya can handle me. Yer all skin and bones! " Morell prods at his coworker's arms and legs in much the same dehumanizing way he studies his piglets. Patches only gasps and flushes the more he's dragged about, definitely getting a thrill from the other's brute strength.

Nebul makes another subtle snicker. " Oh, I assure you that won't be a problem, undeads can be roughed around, don't worry about something as silly as a stretch. "

The cook spares Nebul a squint.

" Now now, he's not all for you. " Dark digits reach for the dullahan's head, Patches understands the request and gladly allows Nebul to extract his head. " You can keep his body. "

Patches finally realizes what's going to happen, as does Morell, the two of them gawking at the wraith. A nasty, blunt-toothed snarl of a grin paints itself on Morell's face, and Patches' legs clench in excitement. His form used by two people at the same time, in separate places. Like an actual toy you can take apart and put together on a whim- Two kids fighting over a plushie until it tears at the seams and each gets a piece. Lord, that's fucked up. He's so ready.

" Say goodbye to yourself for a bit, we'll be heading back up. " Nebul prompts, giving Patches a perfect view of his body sitting placidly in front of a very interested shroom, before promptly taking his leave...

Morell stares at the leashed offering before him, guessing there's really no point in wasting time now. He had been getting handsy with some of the piggies in his warehouse, one of them is very easily spooked and will let him do just about anything to them so long as he doesn't raise his voice. He's going to enjoy cutting that one up... Morell guesses, since Patches interrupted his rendezvous, he can be the replacement.

The dullahan twiddles his thumbs, fiddling with the leash silently while the chef removes his blood-stained smock, hasty hands unzipping his black pants so a strained length can pop out. With a relieved sigh, the shroom grabs Patches' hand and brings it to his cock, interested in how the other might react. Patches seems to jolt slightly, and the chef knows he'd be stuttering by now if his head were on... You know, taking it off might not have been a bad idea, saves him the trouble of having to shut the twink up himself eventually. Nonetheless, he's pleasantly surprised when green hands tentatively start working smoothly at him.

" Lawd, yer really some slut, ain'tcha? " He snorts, speaking to no one really. He's glad he made Turnip watch over the misbehaving catch inside the meat freezer, because the chef will certainly get busy now. The rest of the kitchen bobbles work smoothly, so used to the depravity of what usually takes place within these walls that no one spares Morell or Patches a second glance.

The chef bucks once or twice into the dullahan's touches, getting riled up whenever the other is bold enough to squeeze or linger on the tip of his member. Something flashes through his mind.

" ...undeads can be roughed around,... "

That's right, he can have some fun with this one, can't he? Oh joy.

Morell leans into the dullahan's space, delighting in the shiver his coworker gives upon sensing him so close. Morell hovers over the other's exposed neck, nudges the collar up, and swiftly bites down. Hard. Making sure to grind his teeth together. Patches squirms and kicks out in pain, no doubt screaming somewhere, making the shroom laugh against his flesh. Still, ever so dutiful, he keeps stroking the chef, which is commendable really! Morell rewards this obedience by groaning lowly in satisfaction, giving the dullahan a small respite in which he focuses mostly on the taste of the trembling being.

It's not like human blood at all. It's thicker, less metallic, more of a soupy, bitter substance. Quite different. Do all undeads taste like this? The shroom peels back, licking at his chops and observing the massive bite mark he left behind. It's green, his blood is a curious juniper green hue, like he's spoiled or something. Morell's own ichor is discolored, but this is news to him. Nonetheless, driven by both an erotic sadistic urge and endless curiosity, he continues to scrape and ghost bold dentures across the dullahan's shoulder, teasing, warning. A meaty hand curls around Patches' own dick to gently return the favor. He wouldn't say he dwarves the other's cock, but his girth is certainly null compared to the mushroom monster's.

In contrast to that generous treatment, Morell once again sinks his teeth into the magic caster's tender hide. Deeper, harsher, feeling muscle give way, ligaments collapse and blood vessels burst- The chef moans, low and needy, shaft throbbing while he secures the flailing monster and rrriiips a chunk out of his shoulder.

He chews pensively, still hastily pumping the other's cock as he heaves and pathetically squirms, bleeding all over his torso. Not a bad taste at all! He can work with this! Morell's jolted out of his evaluation by the sudden piston of his comparatively small coworker, who promptly cums all over his hand.

Figures, little loser must be screaming his eyelights out up there. The cook smiles, licking cum off his digits. This ain't over.

Nebul makes an airy cackle, watching the dullahan's facial expression contort in immeasurable, appetizing agony as he stops licking the wraith's shaft to yowl.

" AAH GHH- FUCK-! AH- OH GOD. "

" HURKK- GONNA DIE. GONNA DIE! " Patches screams, a blood-curdling sound. Too bad Nebul has no blood.

" Don't be dramatic. " Nebul pats the pumpkin man's head as he pants and keens through whatever's happening. " Tell me things. " He demands while idly pumping his length.

" H- He- He tore a chunk? Of my shoulder? He- " The monster gasps and moans very suddenly, speech faltering into pleasured, breathless cries. Magic tears slide down his cheeks. Nebul knows that look, he just came. " Gh- He's gonna eat me. "

" Oh, part of you, definitely. I expect nothing less. " Nebul hums, adjusting his seated stance on the chair behind his counter. " Do continue. Tell me things as they happen from now on. "

Patches dutifully continues to use a summoned tongue to lap and curl around Nebul's length. In different circumstances, the wraith would be face-fucking him by now, but he seems intent to take it slow this time.

" I- " The dullahan gasps, sockets wide. " I think I'm- B- Being turned around? Wha... I'm touch- I'm bent over the sink. " He puzzles out.

Ohh, this is getting good!

Nebul makes a sound far too akin to a giddy titter, grabbing his cock and sliding Patches' head closer. He has an idea as to how he can fuck his coworker and keep hearing those lovely cries. His cockhead poises on the rim of the other's right socket. The wraith gets to see his coworker's attention finally fully veered towards him, excited yet submissive eyelights flickering to his misty head.

" F-Fuck yes, stuff my ffucking brains out! " He offers enthusiastically.

Fact of the matter is the dullahan has none, physically speaking that is. But Nebul understands completely, he himself knowing the true, invasive depths of allowing others to touch what essentially amounts to one's mind, one's very conscious, their core. To fuck that is to penetrate beyond bodily limits, it's capable of breaking monsters if overdone. But Patches... Patches is already so cracked and shattered, he can take it.

Eternally grateful for the way the dullahan made his face so malleable, Nebul slowly stretches the triangular socket with his girth, going deeper and deeper into the other's head until it's essentially forced into a circle around his cock. The small magic field Patches created to mimic pupils creates a pleasant, vibrating buzz on the wraith's cock. Nebul moans low in delight.

" Ha- Ahn- HhnHn- Fffffuck. Y-Yes! " Patches makes an ugly, guttural sound. " Th- Thank you, master. " He's crying again, crocodile tears steadily flowing as the dullahan sobs in a blinding mixture of pleasure and pain. " Harder, please! "

" Such manners. " The wraith praises, a purring lilt to his tone. " How could I deny you? "

And he thrusts. Firm, merciless, balls smacking against the other's head. He readjusts, legs spread, steadily using the moaning, crying dullahan's hole as an improvised toy and idly wondering what Morell's up to some floors below.

He's screaming again, the sound making Nebul's thighs shake in euphoria, though the wraith doubts his coworker has enough mind to narrate what's going on.

Morell growls, fists slammed against the counter as he hilts inside the green monster's tight ass. Yeah, that's not right, he definitely tore him open. Oops... He can handle it, right? Probably.

The shroom holds himself back for a moment, being merciful enough to wait for his coworker to calm down. But he doesn't. In fact, the smaller male starts kicking out harder, hands desperately scrambling for something to hold onto until they grab the edges of the sink. Huh, that can't be the chef, the wraith must be sticking needles in his head like a pincushion or something... Whatever it is that he likes to do.

" Well boy, if ya ain't gonna settle down on yer own... "

The cook grabs his velvet leash, quickly using it it to tie Patches' hands behind his back. One arm keeps his upper body flush to the counter, while Morell's foot nudges his bare legs apart further. This, he can work with. One fierce piston jostles Patches forward, body screaming mutely as it tears further to accommodate him. Yeah sure, Morell could have prepared him before, but no one said he had to. The dullahan will walk it off just fine, this is his kinda thing anyway.

For an undead, he's not that cold. Morell will give him that, enjoying the tense grip of the magic caster's walls around him while he bucks hard and fast. There's no point keeping things slow, the chef got interrupted and he wants a reward for humoring this nonsense, drowning the dullahan's guts will do just fine. Glazed, pleasure-filled eyes spot his cleaver discarded to the side. The shroom cackles, reaching for it giddily and deciding to play with the man beneath him.

In contrast to great, jarring thrusts, Morell drags the very tip of his blade over Patches' back. The prominent line that marks his spine. Morell knows that if he swung his cleaver juuuust right, he could cut through the bone, split him in two. But he doesn't, of course, even if part of him thinks Krulu could just sew Patches back together without issue. Tempting, but ultimately, the shroom only makes a couple of slow, grating, deep cuts across Patches' back, enough to get more of that strange dark blood.

The squeeze around his cock has Morell luridly cooing. " Figures, little pain slut, this right up yer alley I'll bet! "

He dips to lick the lines of seaweed green now pooling on the other's back, making sure to stick his tongue into the wounds, prodding, deliberately stretching the tissue just to hear it squelch and part further for him. Morell's moan is near guttural as he grinds more generously. Finally, he gets to feel the bruised and torn dullahan grind back greedily. " Atta boy... " Not that the monster can even hear it.

Another belly laugh rips out of Morell when the chef subtly drags the blade of his cleaver against Patches' twitching cock and the monster visibly jumps. It's followed by almost enthusiastic squirming and leaning, as if daring Morell to actually do some damage. The chef thinks about it, motions picking up in his rampant excitement. He enjoys castrating some of the piggies he catches, part of him would delight in tearing Patches' dick off. Or his balls. It's not like he's going to put babies in anyone, most likely. Better not, that'll probably take a long while for the poor pervert to fix. Instead, Morell lets Patches play with fire, dragging his shaft through the cold stainless steel. At this rate, he's gonna get himself cut without the chef's help at all!

Morell's too frenzied to wait, blanketing over the undead and fucking wildly into his trembling frame, cleaver ghosting over his abdomen. What if... What if he just- Right here, right now, right on the counter...

There's an impatient kick, then a force trying to lift against the shroom's heavy arm- What the Hell's he doing now? Then finally, a SLAM downward.

He... The fucker stabbed himself.

Morell gawks at the sight, panting heavily in shock, throbbing as soon as rivulets of thick blood cascade to the floor. His brain shuts off entirely. The last couple of pistons the shroom offers are brutal, he makes sure to pump Patches in wordless praise as he buries himself to the root and keeps his promise to flood the smaller monster's insides. The chef groans and huffs, not remembering the last orgasm he had half as intense as this one.

He twists the blade up further into the dullahan's guts, making sure to rotate and dig further, drooling. Patches cums near immediately, the overload of pain making him spasm like a fish out of water while his cock spurts uselessly against the counter, mixing with his own blood and Morell's fluids. It's... A complete mess. Morell grimaces a bit at it, but he's determined to encourage this perfect behavior, milking the other's orgasm well past the point of comfort.

Maybe, he thinks, sighing in blissful satisfaction, he should do this more often.

Nebul glances at the dullahan's jizz-soaked head. Globs of seed escape through his carved mouth and nose, right socket sticky with tears and precum.

He's stopped cleaning the wraith's length to seemingly freak out.

" You're hyperventilating. "

Patches groans, a bit of attitude surfacing. " Hrk- Well, excuse me- " A sudden wheeze, words are understandably hard to form for him currently, but the other can wait.. " There's a fuh- Fucking k-knife in my abdomen! "

Nebul snickers, using a handkerchief to wipe the cum off the corner of his coworker's mouth. " Joy, he likes you. "

" Oh, I- Hhhng- Can tell. " A tired sigh escapes Patches. " C-Can we go down, I think- "

There's a long pause, Nebul practically dies of anticipation. " ... Yes? "

" Yeah, I'm spilling my guts on his floor. "

And his head is picked up again without warning, the wraith quickly slipping into the elevator. Not because he's concerned about the other's well-being, not even close-

He just needs to know what Morell's going to do next.

#Morell oc #Nebul oc #Patches oc #tw gore #yeeeehawww this is not for the faint of heart

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the-chihayafuru-landslide · 2 years

Text

Charles Rambles: on Chiharata and shipping the losing ship

I’m currently working on something else but I had to break away for a bit because this train of thought was too long to include and needed a post proper. This is a topic I have always wanted to discuss but have been too scared to because people are always ready to jump you in a dark alleyway if they even hear Arata’s name mentioned in vain. Well guess what DING DONG bitch ANSWER THE FKIN DOOR because today I’m breaking my silence and talking about Chiharata.

I mean lucky for me most of the avid Chiharata shippers have died in the war and what else do I have to lose since I am already hated by quite a few in this fandom (lol). So anyways this is more of a ramble (not an essay) on why I never shipped Chiharata and the reasons why I think it would have been a lacklustre ending to Chihayafuru on the basis of the way that Chiharata was PURPOSELY written.

You should have known it was over for your when Arata did the platonic Eden no Hana goodbye handshake. I blame the flowers.

For anyone who knows me, I was an Arata hater from day 1. When I was about to watch the anime people told me I was going to like the 2ND ML (Taichi) more and be very depressed. I was like pffff yeah right we’ll see about that. Then it happened exactly the way they said it would. The moment Taichi was introduced I was like oh noooo that guy lol he’s the one. Then for the rest of Chihayafuru I laid awake in anguish as I watched Chihaya have a crush on Arata FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON (to me)!! I was like WHERE TF DID THIS COME FROM??

So she did want to see him but was it because of a crush or because she wanted to play him in a match? (Spoiler: it was about Karuta)

I’ll admit a little hatred began brewing for Arata (but like I didn’t hate him but I also did y’know??) and I’m going to be real, I wasn’t always fair to Arata’s character lmao. I was biased because of preconceived notions I had going into the anime. I know this, but I don’t regret it because at least it was funny:

OK NO THE SECOND TWEET I AM STILL RIGHT ARATA SHOULD HAVE DELIVERED IT HIMSELF? EVEN IF TAICHI WAS HER BF HE CAN GIVE HER HIS PHONE NUMBER WTF

Like at the start of the manga Arata was going through the traumatic loss of the person he loved the most (canon) his grandpa. And I was like HOW DARE YOU NOT TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS IMMEDIATELY?? Why was I so needlessly heartless towards him LMAO.

I mean he was purposely written as the boulder so WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO FEEL

Sometimes people tell me that Taichi was right (when they first visited him in Fukui) in pushing Arata over when he kicked the cards but Taichi really DID NOT need to do that at all idc what you say. I’m defending Arata’s big stinky dogs in this case. Taichi I still love you even when you make mistakes. Sorry this got off topic... (that’s why this is a ramble not an essay)

However, I never fully hated Arata. The problem was since I didn’t like him in the ship there wasn’t much to like him outside of that. I did like the relationship with his grandpa but it only seemed to be really relevant at the beginning of the manga and at the end. Arata’s Karuta arc was probably the messiest out of the three and it was really difficult for me to resonate with it. His arc seemed to be a prodigy not feeling bad for playing at his full strength and winning? I don’t know the jury is still out on that one (and I am simplifying it a lot for the comedy). I actively looked for people discussing Arata’s Karuta arc but I almost never found any and I’m not sure if it’s because they kept their analysis locked up behind an Arata loving paywall or because I quickly made myself known as another bitchass illiterate Taichihaya they kept me blocked and off their lawn. So I am not an authority on that but I think when I do a re-read I actually would like to try and figure it out.

What I did often read in relation to Arata was of course the romance the ship between him and Chihaya. Now, I didn’t read these analysis to piss myself (necessarily lol). I actually think to be fully critical and fair you should read the other side’s arguments if for no other reason than to rip them apart (which I could every single time lmao). However, now it make a me sad because now that Chiharata didn’t pan out nobody wants to talk about him much anymore. Taichihayas hate him and already dug his grave out back Chiharatas threw him in there started piling dirt on him. It’s ok Arata, if nobody loves you then I will. YES I HAD MY LOVING ARATA ARC…

Funny story after shipping him pettily with Sumire I flew to close to the sun b/c I wrote a 5k petty fic about him and Sumire (as a response to my ACTUAL LEAST FAVOURITE SHIP TAICHI AND SUMIRE) and then I started to like the ship and Arata… I was like oh no this isn’t a joke anymore… AND THEN I MANIFESTED MY CRACK SHIP? Crazy

Back on topic:

From what I observed through the bars of my Taichihaya cage these are some of the reasons people like Chiharata:

Arata not putting any sort of pressure on Chihaya when he confessed and respecting her boundaries (not that she ever had to explicitly set any since they barely interacted)

His earnestness

The connection they had to their childhood

Their flirting? (I mean people thought it was sweet the way they were always blushing around each other and using someone else’s words “the cautious touch” personally I found it awkward that’s why I cannot in good sense not put a question mark LMAO)

Both being Karuta Bakas and the idea that they would be clueless in their relationship because they would just hyper-fixate on their shared passion. (This was more a HC than what we actually saw considering Chihaya didn’t remember the game she played against Arata)

Right so on the surface level I don’t see anything wrong with any of these points? A lot of them I too like in theory. Especially a man who respects boundaries (side eyes at you Taichi). I don’t think shipping them because this kind of relationship appeals to you is bad even if they were not the canon ending. It’s fiction and you can do whatever you want. You can have your head canons and your fan fictions (like someone passively aggressively said to me about Taichihaya once lmao)! Please your Chiharata AO3 tag needs it there’s only 24 fics (I think)

Even I can think of moments between Arata and Chihaya that made me question my loyalty (ok there was only 1 LMAO).

Not gonna lie it’s kinda funny he picked hauled her up on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. ARATA IS SO IMPULSIVE AND THAT’S WHY HE’S A FUNNY LIL GUY.

Why did I like this moment despite finding it a lil awkward and cringe? Because for the first time Arata kind of understood the weight that Chihaya carried and he really saw who she was - someone who works hard and wants to win more than anything. He learned more in this little moment than he ever would playing against her. It was THIS that was needed… moments outside of a Karuta match where they could dispel the illusions that they had of each other and actually get to know WHO THEY WERE IN THE PRESENT!! Both of them had changed a lot since their childhood.

That was always my criticism of Arata and Chihaya’s relationship was that they really did not know each other beyond their childhood selves. Let’s look at what I tweeted I think 12 episodes into the anime:

This tweet still makes me laugh because of the Karuta name thing cddkj I was really going through it

That is not to say you need to know someone in order to date them. You can date anyone for any reason. In fact, people seem to forget that Chihaya herself was willing to date random man from train station who had no interest in Karuta lmao.

But surely, knowing someone intimately is something required to maintain a romantic relationship? I’m hoping that is a given for everyone. That’s why I failed to understand why people would see them dating as a victory in the romance department; that they would instantly have this incredible profound, moving, and impactful relationship instead of thing that happened because Chihaya had a crush and felt like it? Or was it because they both liked Karuta and dating would be an extension of their passion for Karuta…….. uh ok sounds gr8 but they don’t need to date to play Karuta together dclksdjknsdjk

Like what did Chihaya even see in Arata as a person? The only thing that she seems to admire about him is how he plays Karuta..

That and his big hands I guess lmao. Big hands to play Karuta with.

Because I am in my Arata defender stage I actually think THAT IS A CRIME BECAUSE ARATA HAS A LOT OF GOOD TRAITS GOING FOR HIM:

He’s shy and blushy

He’s awkward but cute

His black hakama

He’s blind in an endearing way

Domestic King (thanks to the spin off chapter)

Caring to the elderly

Occasionally very sweet when he feels like

Cares DEEPLY ABOUT HIS FRIENDS

Strong arms can pick you up because of his 500 practice swings

Gives tall guy vibes despite being shorter than Taichi (he’ll always be taller to me idc)

Now unlike Arata we actually saw Chihaya’s thoughts towards Taichi:

I mean I don’t even need to point out the stark difference between them lmao. That’s not even mentioning what the boys think of Chihaya. It’s pretty evident when you put their confessions side by side.

Like for Arata the basis of his confession is him thinking back to their childhood memories and Chihaya asking him to play Karuta together forever. So no wonder he ended his confession with “let’s play Karuta together sometime” because literally that’s all he knows about her.

Which brings me to my next point of why I never shipped Chiharata and this is due to their lack of present “screen time”. Now, do not misunderstand me, lack of screen time does not stop me from shipping two characters when I think characters might actually be a good pairing. I shipped Arata and Sumire based on their one single interaction in the manga BEFORE IT WAS COOL. So trust me when I say I AM OPEN TO FILLING THE GAPS OF CANON WITH HEADCANON.

Though it immediately becomes clear at the beginning of Chihayafuru that Chihaya feels some sort of way towards Arata (a crush) however we as the reader only got like 6 chapters of childhood backstory to explain their relationship which included Arata helping Chihaya make a dream of her own and her awesome moment when she takes a card from him. What is lacking is any cute childhood blooming romance. Most of the childhood arc is spent on the trio: Chihaya, Taichi and Arata. So I always failed to understand WHY she would be crushing on this guy other than guy really good at Karuta and me likey Karuta. Literally she said the time they spent apart made him become like a God of Karuta… Like uh this your man?

Chihaya and Arata’s bond based on their shared childhood dream is meant to be contrasted to the relationship Chihaya has with Taichi. While one is confined to Chihaya’s longing to see him (Arata) THE ONE SHE HAS WITH TAICHI IS REAL TANGIBLE AND CLEARLY UNFOLDS BEFORE OUR EYES.

This is from the first 11 chapters we early Taichihaya shippers were FEASTING

From this we understand their dynamic! Did Chiharata’s ever listen to the reasons we liked Taichihaya? Well here are my reasons: it was because of their chemistry, their banter and teasing. But they are also so caring towards each and supportive and it wasn’t one sided either. They help each other become the best versions of themselves and they also have something that the other person lacks. Chihaya has a terrible memory and Taichi doesn’t have naturally gifted hearing. They are soulmates but opposites. SUN AND MOON.

Maybe all of this could have been used to develop a friendship? You know sure I’ll roll with that let’s say it was all leading to something completely platonic. Then please explain to me what would be the reason of PURPOSELY DEPICTING TAICHI AND CHIHAYA LIKE THIS?? LIKE THE PICTURES SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES

I purposely picked moments from Chihaya’s perspective to make a point lol

The only thing that was lacking from these interactions is the shoujo filters, sparkles and flowers almost like the point was a superficial teenage crush vs. SOMETHING WITH A BIT MORE SERIOUSNESS AND DEPTH.

I have always ascertained that Chihaya is clueless when it comes to love but I never meant that in a derogatory sense. She is a teenager who is figuring herself out IN A COMING OF AGE STORY! She has to start as a dumbass in order to grow up!! People always seemed to get it wrong and think that Chihaya was somehow very mature in her feelings when it came to Arata when she was most certainly not. Why did she leave Arata hanging for 8 months only to be reminded by Kana’s remarks about turning into sea foam (sea weed?) that she should actually respond to his confession like kdjsnakjdsnsc.

It’s fine that she had a crush on Arata though. At that age, I too had dumb ideas about love. I thought that the person I marry should be good at piano because it would be very important to be serenaded in the future. While this certainly would be nice I AM WISER that there are far more important qualities to look for in a partner.

Since Chiharata shippers have also suddenly become cognizant that Chihaya and Arata had little screen time together (and none outside of Karuta) they are calling it bad writing since it wasn’t “fair”. First of all, real relationships are not always “fair” - not everyone gets an equal chance to become a couple with someone and spend time with them? Not to mention that it wasn’t the problem that Arata didn’t live in Tokyo because LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS EXIST? If Chihaya and Arata wanted to they could (Taichihaya ending up long distance is almost like Suetsugu is trying to say the distance was never the problem). It was never supposed to be “fair” because thematically that’s not what Chihaya’s crush on Arata was ever about.

These girls are me being like Chihaya what on earth are you talking about.

Chihaya’s views about love at the beginning are incredibly and purposely naive and immature. The only thing that seems to matter to her in a partner is being good at Karuta. THIS IS NOT TREATED AS SOMETHING SERIOUS AND OR MEANINGFUL IT IS PURPOSELY RIDICULOUS!! Because of this being one of the only traits Chihaya looked for in a partner IT MADE HER FIRST CRUSH BE her MARRIED sensei.

On the one hand I get it Chihaya Harada is a dilf you are valid.

That’s why when Chihaya said she needed to be “worthy” to sit in front of her crush I hope every single one of the people who shipped Chiharata realized this was an arbitrary standard and really should not matter when it comes to love?

If you or someone you know had to say this line with any ounce of seriousness as a defence for your ship you may be owed financial compensation.

I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were thinking that eventually this notion would be deconstructed afterwards because damn that is very shallow and also stupid lol. It’s just very weird that so many people still thought that “feeling worthy to sit in front of him” was relevant for Chihaya to be able to confess back to Arata because…

Arata confessed independently from Chihaya feeling “worthy”

She already sat in front of him and smoked him

It definitely does help when the person that you love shares your passion absolutely but again “passion” for another (love) is not the same as “passion” for sport. They are separate and not interchangeable. That was the point.

Like I’m sorry it couldn’t get more on the nose when some NPC said this about Chihaya’s crush dcndacjkjkn.

Then of course there are the subjective reasons why I don’t think a relationship between Chihaya and Arata would be really good for them. In a lot of ways they are too similar to each other in the sense of being “clueless” Karuta bakas. That’s why so many people made a ship where Chihaya and Arata’s relationship had to be mediated by Taichi who would keep both of them in line, which, would be fine if Taichi wasn’t a miserable sod who had his heart broken. Like that was simply too much to expect from him even if he was the happily rejected party in the end… Like sorry I don’t wish that for him !! He has the self esteem of a roll of paper towel in what world would that be a good ending for him kjncjdjkn

Even in canon like Arata simply must let Chiha go to move forward (I will expand on this a later time). The love that was pushing him forward (unlike for Taichi) was actually the love he had for his grandpa.

That’s beautiful, I guess platonic love wins! Thank you, I’m collecting tips in my hat.

No but seriously there was also this holier than thou attitude that some Chiharata shippers had that they were the enlightened ones who valued the true platonic love that Taichi and Chihaya had and that people who thought it was romance were simply projecting. Taichihayas simply were not respecting Chihaya’s agency! Because YES it was so clear that Chihaya was already in love with Arata!!

Damn Kana that manipulative mastermind making Chihaya doubt her strong and passionate love for Arata!

I mean she had a crush on him, she already said she was in love with him (even though she said she didn’t understand her feelings platonic love could never apply to Arata shhh) and rejected Taichi. The thing is, it’s fiction idc what the author might have “intended”. The depth in a relationship I wanted was in the Taichihaya pairing. I never once felt guilty shipping them even though I didn’t genuinely believe in a Taichihaya ending until 246. Not because Chiharata was better written but because I am a depressed bitch. But like if Chiharata was canon I could simply write it off as being dumb and pretend away the ending while enjoying everything else. However, I was always willing to accept a Chiharata ending because at the end of the day I actually do respect the character’s “agency” to pick their partner and love doesn’t always make sense.

What would not make sense to me in the slightest is why Taichi and Chihaya would be written like that to have a more meaningful and impactful relationship than the guy who she was in love with. But then we get to subjectivity, maybe people consider their best friends to be their closest relationships and the guy is the one you date because of his large hands and supposed sexual tension. Idk to each their own.

It speaks volumes that now that Chiharata didn’t become canon people are pissed off because at the end of it they don’t even consider Chihaya and Arata to be friends? SO WAIT A MINUTE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS ENOUGH TO SUGGEST LOVERS BUT NOT FRIENDS?? I don’t even need to say much about that.

I know some people REALLY wanted a friendship ending with Taichi maybe more than they even wanted Chiharata to happen. I get it, the idea that your friend can be crazy in love with you but then be you know what after everything we can still be friends (WHICH TAICHI FKIN DID). So if you liked that theme, why are you not satisfied with it being told through Arata? HELL SUMIRE HAD THAT EXACT STORYLINE?? YOU HATE WOMEN OR WHAT.

Is it because Arata didn’t need that much time to process getting rejected (well he did actually b/c as we always said he got soft rejected) because MAYBE HE CLUED INTO THE FACT that he was fighting a losing battle? Or is it the fact that absolutely nothing changed Chiharata’s relationship with Chihaya not reciprocating his feelings? If that’s the case, then maybe the author was trying to say that Arata’s feelings weren’t that DEEP for Chihaya. Maybe HE VALUES friendship with both Taichi and Chihaya more than to make a big scene. He has been set up to process disappointment easier than say Taichi?

LIKE LOOK:

I guess it sucks when it turns out you guys were PROJECTING as much into the story as those Taichihaya romance obsessed baboons. Everyone projects into a story. It’s actually ok ! WE ARE THE SAME IN THIS REGARD. LET’S JOIN HANDS AND UNDIG ARATA FROM HIS GRAVE PLEASEEEEEEE. To conclude my massively long rant and because I can no longer add any pictures, by the time we got to 246 without Chihaya and Arata dating it should have been fairly clear that it was not going to happen. Their relationship had barely progressed and if Chihaya would date Arata with the intention of getting to know him more OUTSIDE of Karuta... SHE’D NEED TIME FOR THAT!! It should have happened much earlier and not been dragged out to the end of the manga. (A topic I will leave for another time)

However by the time we got to the ending if Chiharata happened it would simply just be the pairing off of two characters a romance conclusion a la shonen. Chihaya would be getting a trophy and a husband for accomplishing her dream.

Instead the thesis was actually that “love” like Kaurta is something you have to work towards. It’s not always easy nor is it always “happy”. Yet it is worth it when you find the right person- you will still want to be with them “by their side” even when it’s rough.

Crazy how Taichi said this in chapter 9.

SO that pretty much wraps up my thoughts on Chiharata (for now)

This is Charles reminding you that Arata is now in his Tokyo Hottie arc!

#chihayafuru #chihayafuru manga #taichihaya #chiharata #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichi mashima #arata wataya #chihayafuru thoughts #charles rambles

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maddiviner · 1 year

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Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

This review is many months overdue, sadly. The topic is pretty heavy for me, and you’ll have to forgive me for how emotionally-charged this review is going to be. I’ll explain why later on.

So, The Wisdom of Mental Illness. I requested it from NetGalley specifically because, as a mentally-ill person, the book’s allegedly about people like me. Of course I’m going to need to read it. So, how does it measure up?

Yikes. There’s some positives here, but precious little. The author does a decent job discussing the (frankly awful) American pharmaceutical industry and how it relates to the usage of psychiatric medication. My perspective? I do agree that many psychiatric medications suck.

While we can do better, I’d expect little else from the corrupt pharmaceutical industry. I’m thankful for Seroquel when I needed it, but am equally grateful I didn’t take it long term. I would hope that the future brings better options for people like me.

While Hughes seems to think the use of medication implies or depends on a biological model for mental illness, I disagree. The drugs are volatile and unpredictable, but many can be useful, regardless of whether they “cure” the illness or not.

I’m open-minded about drug use, even some of those awful laboratory chemicals. I also think the lines between self-exploration, cure, and alleviating symptoms (all three) can blur significantly at times, depending on the substance.

The author discusses what he calls the “pathologization of normal life.” This idea gets tossed around a lot, especially in books like this, and especially in the past few decades. It’s almost entirely a fallacy. It doesn’t really hold water.

True, something like “social anxiety disorder” sounds (to neurotypicals) like a universal experience rather than an actual condition. The truth is that when social anxiety becomes pathological, those suffering often get brushed off, not needlessly pathologized. Even getting other people to acknowledge there’s a problem (and get them on board with your recovery) can be extremely difficult.

Why? It’s primarily because of misinformation like this. If people think psychiatry is “pathologizing” normal experiences, they’re much less likely to take it seriously when a loved one expresses depression, anxiety (or even mania).

Most people with mood and anxiety disorders (like myself) have had the experience of someone saying to us, “everyone gets sad sometimes,” or “<I> get nervous sometimes, too, but I don’t treat it as a disorder,” etc. This response has become so common that we (people with mood and anxiety disorders) often joke about it, and how frustrating it can be.

It is true that, in cases of psychosis or suicide attempts, a person can be (sometimes) forced into treatment, but only if they’re dangerous to themselves or others. You won’t be locked up for normal human behavior that’s been “pathologized.”

As many neurodivergent folks know, even obtaining basic mental health treatment can be difficult if there’s not a perceived crisis point. Here in America, there’s a critical shortage of all mental health professionals - psychiatrists, therapists, social workers, and then some. This is especially true in rural areas, and it can lead to situations where someone (in crisis) waits six months for an appointment with an already overtaxed mental health professional.

With few people able to afford comprehensive (or even basic) mental health services, it’s hard to argue that we’re all at risk of being “pathologized” for our quirks.

Interestingly, it seems there’s not as much discussion of mental illnesses that aren’t either mystical shamanic psychosis or Jungian deep dive depression. Some of the other authors providing accounts have experienced illnesses like anorexia nervosa, but this is framed as resulting from said Jungian depression or societal pressure interfering with shamanic awakenings.

The author claims that there’s an epidemic of “narcissism” and entitlement because of selfies, social media, and participation trophies, though. Those darned millennials, no doubt! Not a particularly original, nuanced, or insightful take. I half-expected him to bring up avocado toast! I guess that particular illness (narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness, after all!) doesn’t contain Hughes’s preferred brand of wisdom.

Some of the other authors who contributed do mention eating disorders and other experiences. It’s worth noting that some of these people seem to be former clients of Jez Hughes who came to him for “shamanic healing.” Many of them had terrible experiences with psychiatry, and it’s not my place to invalidate the healing they found elsewhere. Still, in a way, these folks are self-selected; you won’t find stories from people like me in here, because that’d torpedo the concept.

In a way, the book is a sales pitch for Hughes’s particular means of coping with mental distress. When Hughes highlights the abuses of modern psychiatry, it’s mostly to set up his “shamanic” alternative in a positive light. He puts a bit of effort into attacking the more biological claims of psychiatry, too. Specifically, the author claims that there’s “no evidence” that mental illness gets passed on in genetics.

Uh. The evidence is actually quite clear that it does have a genetic component.

Some will argue that any evidence of a genetic origin could just as easily point to a traumatic origin for the illness, given that trauma bonds are a thing within families. I do believe there’s an element of that in some cases, but there’s overwhelming evidence of an actual genetic component in many cases.

Hughes, on his website and elsewhere, namedrops the science of “epigenetics” to explain why some people need to come to home for ancestral healing. This isn’t a well-understood field, but it doesn’t undo the evidence we’ve seen of a genetic component.

When every child in a family (including those raised elsewhere) end up experiencing the exact same alternating cycles of depression and elation, you do have to consider the possibility that bipolar disorder could be passed down from family. I’ve definitely seen it in my own family, but the stigma made it hard for people to openly discuss.

In many instances the author describes how psychiatry makes people think they’re broken or inherently devalued due to having a diagnosis. Hughes seems to, in particular, associate this with the chemical imbalance theory of mental illness. And, he’s right - that sometimes happens. The stigma’s real.

He wants to do away with that stigma by reframing mental illness as “shaman sickness.” The problem is that it’s a false (and dangerous) dichotomy. It’s perfectly possible for us to acknowledge we have a diagnosis (chemical-inspired or otherwise) without automatically jumping to the conclusion that it means we’re broken.

We can accept our neurodivergence and love ourselves, even if we’re popping meds rather than living out the New Age movement’s romanticized notion of madness. While it may not be the intention, his approach does contribute to existing stigma.

But, once again, as I’ve said before, this is all just a way to set up psychiatry as the devaluing inquisitor so that Hughes’s “shamanic” alternative seems the only reasonable choice for someone wishing to keep their sense of self intact.

If you’re seeking other (in my opinion, better) books on mental illness, psychiatry, medication, and that sort of thing, I’d say this one pairs well with The Day the Voices Stopped as a counterpoint, and Muses, Madmen and Prophets as a better take on the subject in general.

Before I go, I think it’s wise to just be blunt here. I have a lot of trauma surrounding people trying to convince me my mental illnesses were spiritual in nature and interfering with my treatment because of it.

Several times I ended up in life-threatening situations. If this review is a bit “off,” that’s why. You can say I’m biased, but maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve seen where some of this can lead.

I also suppose there’s a conversation to be had about the definition of “shaman” and just what constitutes a “British shaman” (Hughes’s title of choice) here, but that’d be for other people to discuss. I think it’s not really my conversation to have. If you actually know anything about that, feel free to LMK.

Thanks for reading this book review, and apologies if it came across as emotional!

#witchcraft #magic #mental illness #mental health #neurodivergent #actually mentally ill #occult #ableism #eliza.txt #eliza reads #book review #book #NetGalley

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wolfgabe · 7 months

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I have been observing the whole mess down in Israel right now over the past few weeks and have been reluctant to share my thoughts here considering how my thoughts will likely get me branded as pro genocide by the internet hive mind, but I feel I need to get this off my chest now.

Do I acknowledge Bibi is a piece of garbage who played a large part in sparking this conflict and making things worse? Yes.

Do I recognize that Hamas is a terrorist group that is basically the reason why its practically impossible for there to be any true peace between Israel and Palestine? Also yes.

Calling out Hamas for the shit they have done does not make one pro genocide. It's frankly been infuriating seeing how people seem to gloss over the fact that Hamas has no issue with using their own civilians as literal meat shields or how they have been hording stockpiles of fuel and supplies in their underground tunnels. There are people who really want to leave but can't simply because Hamas won't allow it.

The problem is a lot of these people you see online screaming free Palestine probably never even heard of Gaza up until now nor would they be able to actually locate it on a map if they tried. It's basically East Palestine all over again with bad faith actors capitalizing on the conflict for easy clout or closet right wingers looking for a convenient excuse to bash Biden only it's 100x worse.

It's been quite depressing really how this conflict has ended up exposing a lot of people on the left as raging anti semites. People can scream how this will haunt Biden in 2024 all they want but frankly I would say this has probably done more damage to the left wing movement than Biden's reelection prospects. The hard truth is a majority of Americans think Biden is doing the right thing with Israel and see Hamas as the one most to blame. There is a reason why supporting Israel often falls within America's own interests especially considering they are our closest ally in the middle east. Tearing down posters of Jewish kidnapping victims doesn't make one pro Palestine. It's also quite telling how a lot of these anti-Israel protesters apparently get mad very quick when you point out that Hamas are in fact terrorists.

Those who demand a ceasefire between Israel and Gaza are not serious about actual peace in the middle east and/or are woefully ignorant of the reality of the situation. If you honestly expect Israel after suffering one of the worst terror attacks it has seen in decades to suddenly agree to a ceasefire with a Terrorist group that has openly called for the eradication of all Jews which they will likely violate just like they did with the last ceasefire that was brokered by Egypt, then I got a magic bridge to sell you. A ceasefire at this point is basically the equivalent of slapping a band aid on an open wound and the only one who really benefits from it is Hamas since it grants them time to rearm and regroup.

Just suddenly barging into a neighboring country and indiscriminately kidnapping, killing and beheading adults, children, and babies is not liberation. Mind you it was not just jews but also Arabs, Muslims, Ethiopians, African Guest Workers among others that were among the 1400 needlessly executed by Hamas on that day. I also will remind people there are innocent nationals including Americans that are being held hostage right now so no it's not just Jews that are suffering.

And I just would like to give a shout out to Biden here. I don't he is getting nearly enough credit for the fact that he might be the one person that is seriously preventing this conflict from spilling out into the rest of the Middle East. And this is on top of pushing for more humanitarian assistance to Gaza residents as well as pressuring Israel to hold off on a ground invasion and working to open humanitarian corridors. I find it ironic how people can scream Joe Biden is pro Genocide when he has probably been one of the most pro Palestine presidents seen in decades.

War sucks all around that's a fact and its even more frustrating in this day and age with places like Twitter having become certified disinformation cesspits. As the old saying goes truth is often the first casualty in war.

And perhaps a bit of advice if you are looking for reliable news sources right now on Israel and Palestine. I would probably avoid Twitter and TikTok like the plague.

#israel #Palestine #gaza #joe biden #geopolitics #politics #hamas

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notallthosewho-wanderarelost · 10 months

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Ahsoka 1x01 1x02 Thoughts/Questions

Spoilers for Ahsoka of course, and spoilers for Star Wars Rebels.

WHAT IS SABINE’S CAT’S NAME???? This is unironically my number one question. What if she named it Ezra.

Where is Jacen? My broccoli boy 💚

Wtf is up with Morgan Elsbeth being a nightsister? She’s very clearly human and not the same species as Talzin, Ventress, and Merrin, etc. Is Dave bringing back the concept of a group of human Nightsisters from the EU? (In which case, I’d like to see Teneniel Djo please.) Morgan says she’s a “descendant of the witches of Dathomir,” does that mean she could be part Nightsister but mostly human? Worth noting she is clearly able to do at least a bit of Nightsister magick in the scene with the map- she summons green smoke while opening it. Why the inconsistency in species? It seems silly to suddenly have a human Nightsister character when it’s needlessly confusing.

Also, the instant she said she was a Nightsister and a survivor I was like “who does she think she is ripping off Merrin like this?!” I will not tolerate this dollar store knockoff wannabe.

Update: checked the wiki and apparently there were a few small human Nightsister clans (the Singing Mountain clan is apparently still canon!), but mostly it was the big Dathomirian Nightsister clan led by Mother Talzin. Morgan could be from one of the smaller human clans. I think she just feels annoying to me because it’s like someone saw how cool Merrin is, thought she’d be a good villain for this, and then took the character concept wholesale for a piece of Star Wars media that’s more mainstream, but didn’t put in the work so it falls flat. And then her being human just makes it weirder. I wonder who made the decision to use the Nightsisters for this storyline, because doesn’t… fit. Even Morgan’s name is odd. Just feels like no effort was put into the character.

How did Ahsoka find Huyang? I’m so curious when and how this happened. I’m really happy to see him in this though, I loved him in Clone Wars.

Ahsoka can do psychometry now! Can we please get some canon Ahsoka and Cal Kestis interactions? Rebellion era would probably be best but I’m not picky. Obviously Cal’s abilities in that area are a lot stronger, but it’s nice he’s not alone and it’d be great to see them interact. They’re almost the same age, but just far enough apart that their experiences since Order 66 have been radically different.

Mando/Din spending seasons raising a Jedi foundling and Ahsoka taking on a non-Force-sensitive Mandalorian as a padawan is so funny to me. The irony of the inverse.

It’s also the perfect continuation of the disaster lineage attitude imo. Obi-Wan “I’ll train the kid you all say is too old to train” Kenobi, then Anakin and Ahsoka’s… you know, Anakin and Ahsoka-ing, and now Ahsoka’s like “I’ll take a regular non-Force-Sensitive person as a padawan.”

Merrin and Sabine would get along, I think.

Sabine being like 30 and still acting exactly like a rebellious teenager feels like a cry for help to me. :( I’m glad Hera seems to have her back, and it’s good that she has a cat, but I’m worried about her. It makes sense, but gosh poor Sabine. I’m sensing depression. She’s had such a tough life and a tough time with the concept of family, it feels like losing Ezra was the last straw for her emotionally.

Actually, where is Sabine’s biological family? Are Ursa, Tristan, and Alrich okay? Or did they not survive the Mandalorian Purge? (God no I WILL cry. Also @ Dave where is Korkie, why is Bo-Katan calling herself the last Kryze.)

So wait, the rest of the crew has spent 15 years thinking Ezra’s dead?? He said to come find him! I always felt like he was pretty clear he wasn’t dying when he pulled his purrgil stunt. Did they all just turn pessimistic and lose hope? That’s so sad.

I actually really love Sabine kind of being the Republic’s version of Thrawn as an expert art analyst. Continues the Sabine/Thrawn contrast Rebels started where Thrawn analyzes art in a more academic fashion and treats the culture it came from as a curiosity- he’s very into cultural appropriation!!- while Sabine makes her own art and is more capable of stepping into other people’s shoes to appreciate their art.

Ahsoka refusing to train Sabine because she’s too busy being sad and lonely, and Sabine refusing to talk to Ahsoka or train (or give speeches) because she’s too busy being sad and lonely. This is so sad and I want to hug them both.

It works because we have a new actress playing Ahsoka, but I’m so curious what this would have been like animated. Ahsoka feels similar enough to herself but very different, because she’s in such a different place emotionally, and I’m curious how this would’ve felt in animation with Ashley doing the voice.

There were a few scenes where I felt like I was watching a live action Rebels episode and it was the best! The entire sequence with Sabine on the hover bike getting away from her own New Republic squad lol, Hera in the Phantom with Chopper chasing after the ship and planting the tracker. Chopper not being able to find the tracker until Hera told him where it was felt SPOT ON.

The T-6 actually looks pretty roomy and comfortable so far. Like, not the best living situation, but it looks way bigger than the Falcon! Heck, it looks bigger than Ezra’s tower that Sabine’s living in.

That said, Ahsoka having not had a real home since leaving the Jedi Temple is killing me. She really has some abandonment/attachment/commitment issues she needs to work on. Extremely understandable issues given what happened, but it’s like after the end of Rebels she just… quit. Maybe finding out Kanan was gone and then coming back to find Ezra gone was the last straw for her.

I also feel like her giving up on Sabine’s training was because of how her own training ended and Anakin’s fall shortly after. She doesn’t feel capable of dealing with the feelings stirred up by having a student. So she just doesn’t.

Sabine’s collecting little brothers. :) Tristan, Ezra, and Jacen.

I yelled at Senator Jai Kell!!! Good for him!!!

Had a watch party with my friends for this and we all screamed the instant Chopper showed up!! And here I was thinking maybe he was off babysitting Jacen.

What in the world is with the map showing another galaxy?? Yuuzhan Vong vibes. (The way they were almost canon because we were supposed to get a Clone Wars episode with them… :’( )

Why DO the Nightsisters have a map to another galaxy? Didn’t they mostly stay on Dathomir? I can buy them having outposts like the ruins where Ahsoka found the map in an era when they left the planet more, but a map to whole other galaxy seems a bit off. Space exploration on that scale doesn’t seem like something they would do. I wonder if maybe the map is a relic from someone else that they picked up. I like the Rakata theory I saw floated by someone. I could see the Nightsisters picking up a Rakatan map. Those guys left random stuff everywhere iirc.

Does the Eye of Sion have anything to do with Darth Sion? (Of KOTOR 2 fame)

WHERE IS MORAI??? This is a really big question for me!!

Also wondering where Ahsoka’s Gandalf the White outfit is? Guessing she won’t get it until the end of the show. She has to go through her journey first. I wonder if the if it’ll mirror the Topps cards Filoni did after Twilight of the Apprentice at all.

It’s really sad to me that this show is coming out during the strike, because I really need Filoni commentary on things. Actor commentary would be great as well. This is ridiculous, the studios need to pay the people who make things a fair wage.

Shoutout to Natasha Liu Bordizzo’s portrayal of Sabine so far. She feels JUST like Sabine and it’s great. We haven’t really seen enough of Hera yet for me to comment on Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s acting. (It was so weird seeing Hera be taller than Ahsoka though lol.) And Sabine had much more of an arc in these two episodes than Ahsoka did so I can’t really comment on Rosario’s Ahsoka either. Will say she’s been excellent so far, especially in her first appearance in the Mandalorian episode. Looking forward to seeing more!

#ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #hera syndulla #chopper #morgan elsbeth #huyang

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thedeal-if · 1 year

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I love your story 😍😍😍😍😍😍😙😙😙 also is there any interesting facts about the mc

Thank you so much💕💕💕 I can think of a few off the top of my head~

There are so many juicy secrets surrounding MC that they aren't aware of!

For example, as soon as you meet Dante, he is instantly infatuated with MC's soul. He describes it as "so fucking bright it hurts his eyes"

Lilith, who is much more eloquent than her friend, has said that MC's soul makes her feel like "she's a moth, and MC is the only source of light in every possible world"

MC's soul and its powerful aura are something that every non-human notices as soon as they meet them. All of them agree that they've never seen anyone with a soul like that. It almost doesn't feel real given how unique it is.

I'm quite proud of the stat system surrounding the MC! From Chapter 5 (stc) onwards, the stats kind of get locked in, and they provide a variety of different reactions. Like Samurai of Hyuga sorta~

There are a few hidden stats, too. Not to spoil anything but one of them is literally Trauma.

Additionally, I made it so there are many very random details that give MC some flavour. MC can be a smoker, they can be vegan/vegetarian, they can be a huge beer drinker, they can have a preferred genre of music, etc.

MC knows sign language thanks to Josh. Funnily enough, neither of Josh's older siblings knows ASL.

Speaking of Josh, MC has no clue why, but, when they were young children, he one day decided that he was going to call his friend Dot. MC can decide to hate the nickname but I personally find it cute 😭

Their entire character arc revolves around various topics surrounding imposed responsibility and the desire (and need) to live your own life. So, regardless of the different personalities that MC can present, one of their greatest flaws is that, despite themselves, they are needlessly selfless and self-sacrificing (either willingly or like "... *sigh* fine, fine!")

(every RO + MC and Chrissy has their own big issue that they need to come to terms with in order to fulfill their character arc. I'm quite proud of all of them but my favorites are definitely Aliyah and Dante).

MC's parents moved from the West Coast when Dot was very young. They can barely recall any of their life outside of Blackburn, where the first quarter of the story takes place. Blackburn is a fictitious tiny town in Maine.

Dot has an established surname! Warner. So it's (Name) Warner alias Dot and Christina Warner alias Chrissy. The Warner siblings are quite infamous. Everyone in Blackburn knows and pities the two of them. No one has ever reached out to help them, though.

Whereas Chrissy looks like a younger version of her mother, Dot is a carbon copy of their father. If you didn't know them, you wouldn't think that they were siblings.

Even prior to Chrissy's disappearance, Dot is incredibly unhappy with their life. Depending on the trauma stat, this might develop in the MC's depression. Regardless, every character including Dot will have the chance to heal from all their baggage💕

Dot has plenty of reasons to be unhappy. One of them is William, their boss, who hates them for some reason. Dot works full-time as a barista.

That's all I can come up with! It was kinda hard because MC is ultimately meant to be played however you like them to be. They can be needlessly rude, they can be a sweetheart, they can be a dork, they can be a sarcastic asshole... But these facts are shared among all playthroughs!

#if game #the deal #interactive fiction #mc #chrissy #the deal if #inferno #ask #warner siblings

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veronicaleighauthor · 1 year

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Band of Brothers

Today is the 79th anniversary of D-Day. A few years ago, I wrote an article/review on “Band of Brothers” for a friend’s magazine/blog. I’ve decided to post it in honor of that Day of Days, so many years ago.

~*~

“From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered - We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me; Shall be my brother…” – Henry V, William Shakespeare.

Over twenty years ago, the ten-part miniseries, “Band of Brothers,” was released on HBO. Following the story of 101st Airborne, Easy Company, the collaboration between Stephen Spielberg and Tom Hanks introduced us to a group of young paratroopers who embodied the phrase “the greatest generation.” A rare breed, these young men were born in the 1910’s and 1920’s, they survived the Great Depression and were being sent to war. Some were going out into the world for the first time, in hopes of liberating Europe from the Nazis. For me, “Band of Brothers” piqued my interest because my grandfather was in the airborne and he did go through Jump School as shown in the miniseries. A ten-part series offers us enough time to become acquainted with the ensemble cast of characters, based on real-life men. At the beginning at each episode, and at the end of the final episode, the real Easy Company men discuss their experiences and offer thought-provoking reflections. In a short amount of time, you fall in love with these men and care deeply about them, rejoicing when they rejoice and mourn when they mourn.

Richard Winters is a mild-mannered, reserved captain who is eager to do his part and lead his men. When he survives D-Day, he promises God that if he makes it through the war, he will live peacefully. Captain Nixon is a cocky alcoholic, doing his utmost to survive. Later, his wife leaves him, taking the family dog, whom he dearly loves. Malarkey impetuously risks his life to pick a luger off of a dead German, to give to his kid brother, and matures into a man during the course of the war. Compton makes it through many campaigns until he watches his two buddies, Joe Toye and Bill Gaurnere cruelly wounded. He is struck down by combat fatigue…which we now know is PTSD, a condition often misunderstood in that era. George Luz likes to imitate various superiors, and is always good for a laugh. Joe Liebgott is Jewish, he faces antisemitism and is crushed when learns what is really going on in Europe. Ronald Spiers is rumored to have massacred several German prisoners, and takes delight in frightening the other men. Then there is Captain Herbert Sobel, who is needlessly cruel to the men during their training at Camp Toccoa.

We come to know the “Band of Brothers” during basic and watch them transported from America to England, where they prepare for the invasion of Europe. On June 6th, 1944, the Easy Company men, and thousands of others, paratroop out of C-47s and land in France. They fight their way from village to village and town to town, receiving little support, scarce supplies, minimal rest. These are young men, in their teens, twenties, and thirties - living and dying to save the world. And to preserve the world for future generations.

Like many who fought in past wars, Easy Company is enthusiastic, believing the war would be over by Christmas. Unfortunately, at Christmas time, the company was stationed at Bastogne…they were in the middle of the Battle of the Bulge. By the time of Patton’s rescue, which the men insisted was not needed, they were near their breaking point. They began to wonder why they were fighting this war in the first place. Certainly, the Nazis were evil, but was it worth it? The men received their answer later that spring, when they, along with other companies, liberated a concentration camp. For years rumors had circulated of how the Nazis mistreated the Jews and others in their crosshairs, but to see the inhumanity with their own eyes, they were finally able to comprehend their sacrifices.

“Band of Brothers” is not for the faint of heart. Not only does it feature war scenes, we are shown graphic wounds, violence, harsh behavior, the language is extremely foul, and there are gratuitous sex scenes and various men are referenced of having extra-marital affairs. However, with the exception of “Saving Private Ryan,” I have never seen a more realistic and heartfelt depiction of what went on in WWII.

The Easy Company men went on to invading Berchtesgaden, a.k.a. The Eagles Nest – Hitler’s Bavarian retreat. After all of their turmoil, they were able to enjoy themselves a little. In May of 1945, as the men are playing a friendly baseball game, they learn the war in Europe has finally come to an end.

After the war, Nix had a couple of broken marriages and continued to struggle with alcohol – then he met a lovely woman named Grace and he turned his life around. Malarkey returned to Oregon, got a degree in business and became a real estate agent. Compton opted not to pursue a career in minor league baseball, choosing to go to law school, later prosecuting Sirhan Sirhan for the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. Luz became a maintenance consultant, and when he was later killed in an industrial accident, 1600 people came to his funeral to pay their respects. Despite what was shown in “Band of Brothers, in reality, Liebgott was not Jewish, but Catholic. For a few years after the war, he disappeared, but then resurfaced and became a barber. Spiers fought in the Korean war and then in the 1950s, he was the American governor of Spandau Prison, and guarded Rudolf Hess. Sobel was honorably discharged; he later served in the Korean War, and had a family. In 1970, he unsuccessfully attempted to kill himself, but survived and lived seventeen years longer. Following the war, Winters worked for Nixon’s family business and he also served in Korea…afterwards he did settle down, marry, and have a family... He also found a little peace.

#band of brothers #wwii #world war ii #d-day #period drama

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