#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withleeknow · 4 days

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hi lovely!! first off congrats on 1k that's so so awesome and you deserve all that + more truly :( your writing is so tender and so lovey

i would to join in on your little drabble event!!! could you do something for hanji and the song compass by the neighbourhood? that song reminds me of him so so much so i hope you get the vision!! thank you angel and have a beautiful day!! ✮⋆˙

compass.

pairing: producer!jisung x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, hurt/comfort?, fluff, swearing, arson jokes? lmao word count: 1.4k

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

main masterlist / request masterlist / ko-fi

you're always there to help me when i'm down i'm lucky you've been keeping me around you're the star i look for every night when it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

compass - the neighbourhood

"fuck, fuck, fuck!"

the sound of jisung's verbalized frustration draws your attention to his desk and setup in the middle of room, where he's been sitting for the better part of two hours, hunched over the equipment like he often does when he's in the studio.

it's written all over his face just how upset he is that this particular piece he's working on isn't flowing right. the deep furrow between his eyebrows communicates utter displeasure. the clench of his jaw tells you he's angry, and that he's angry at himself for not being able to work through his block.

you abandon your comfortable spot on the couch in favor of pattering over to his side where he's all tensed up like an aggrieved hamster whose body can't contain the annoyance he feels. jisung can be short-tempered sometimes, but you know how to handle him in moments like this.

sliding a hand over his back, you say, "take a little break with me."

he huffs out a breath, eyes still focused on his laptop screen. "i can't afford a break. chan hyung expects this to be done in two days."

"so it's in two whole days. you can leave it for fifteen minutes, it won't kill you."

"but i still have to rework the first verse and figure out what in the fucking hell this second verse is-"

"han jisung," you scold him lightly, to which he instantly shuts up and peers up at you with his big eyes, immediately apologetic when he recognizes his harsh language.

"sorry," he mumbles, "i'm just stressed."

"which is why you need a break. you're not doing anyone any good just sitting here and trying to make your laptop explode with your eyes."

he lets out a pathetic-sounding mewl but he follows you to the couch regardless. jisung knows you're right because you always are. you're the more level headed between the two of you, whereas he's the one who lets his emotions get the better of him sometimes.

before, he would often succumb to his negative feelings. it's hard to keep his cool when nothing seems to go right and there's a deadline on his ass. he'd get so frustrated with his work that sometimes, he would delete whole tracks off his drive only to instantly regret it and spiral even more. he'd take it out on the people around him with his grumpy attitude and misplaced pettiness.

when jisung is overwhelmed, he tends to spin out in all directions. he splinters and drowns in a sea of his own making, constantly being pushed away further and further from shore because he doesn't know how to anchor himself, how to hold on so he wouldn't drift far away. his solution to soothe his anger has always been to give into it, to rip whole pages from notebooks and lock himself in his studio for hours on end until he could plow through the stubborn creative block. it'd often leave him exhausted - emotionally and physically so - and in no better state than he started out with.

jisung accepted this a long time ago - that his way of dealing with his emotions wasn't very healthy, but it was the only way he knew.

that is, until you popped into his world and taught him that people can be lifelines too. falling upon him like a wish that he never realized he was making his whole life.

"what's the matter, baby?" you ask, prompting him to air out his grievances as he lays his head on your chest while you card your fingers through his soft curls. he leans into you instantly, a long sigh escaping his pouty lips. jisung's got a lot of pride, and he would rather die before admitting to anyone that he loves to be babied by you behind closed doors.

he knows the question is just your way of getting him to verbalize all of his pent-up frustration, and not because you're eager to help him traipse through his mind palace and solve whatever dilemma he's having with the track. let's be honest, you never really have a clue what he's talking about, but it helps that you're keen on listening to him even though you can't offer him any valuable insight. more than you could ever know, it does wonders for jisung, just being able to untangle his thoughts and release the mess in his mind.

he could simply just talk to chan, sure, or any of his other friends who work in the industry. but again, his pride is an awful thing sometimes.

you never make him feel like he has prove himself to earn your love and attention, though. around you, jisung feels enough as he is. there's never been any need to toughen up in your presence.

"i just... i can't work with this track. nothing is flowing right. i hate everything i come up with." he rambles on about the things that plague his mind; topline this and beats that - they're really just words to you. you weren't blessed with the same genius in music that jisung was, so you just listen until he's done, until he concludes his tangent with a groan as he nuzzles further into the comfort of your warmth.

"you said that the last time, you know?"

"said what?"

"that everything sucks and you hate it."

"because everything sucks," he whines again, his eyebrows knitted together as he adorns a petulant pout. "and i hate it."

as you play with his fluffy hair, you feel him lean into your touch like it's the very thing that will bring him clarity. in a way, it does. your gentle touch may not give him the answer he needs, but it quiets the static in his mind, drowns out the continuous buzzing that muddles his brain.

"you're too hard on yourself," you say, to which jisung just huffs out a breath in disagreement. "i'm serious. you say this every time but it all still works out in the end. you're so smart, and talented. you shouldn't forget that."

his frown only deepens in response to your words. he knows you're right; things have always turned out fine before. trust the process and all that shit, but he's hot-headed and impatient sometimes, and he doesn't want to endure the stress that often comes with the process. he just wants to get to the finish line.

then, you continue, "remember 13?"

"what about 13?"

"you didn't like it at first either. you were so dramatic about it. but you sucked it up and finished it anyway. you made a hit and nobody could stop talking it. i believe in you. you just need to believe in yourself too."

in complete silence except for the sound of your steady heartbeat in his ears, jisung keeps laying on top of you like a weighted blanket, soaking up your words as a flower would in warm sunlight. of course he remembers 13 and the day he let you listen to the song for the first time. you'd nearly burst into tears in the middle of this studio, pressing kisses all over his face while you gushed over how proud you were of him.

"damn you," he mutters after a while. "why do you have to be so rational?"

"someone's gotta be. if i wasn't here, you probably would've ripped all your hair out, set your keyboard on fire and ran off into the woods."

he shoots up instantly, propping himself on two elbows as he glares at you even though you've got a valid point. it's not that far-fetched of a scenario.

"what?" you tilt your head with a coy smile. "am i wrong?"

jisung stares at you for a quick minute, and it's that very smile you're wearing that mitigates his frustrations and dulls his urge to sabotage his work out of self-inflicted anger. he says nothing at all, just leans down quickly to give you a kiss full of appreciation, despite the way there was a frown tugging on his eyebrows only seconds prior.

"you good now?" you ask, the words coming out a little muffled against his mouth.

if it's with you, then he is. you're the anchor that helps him part his stormy seas. you're the compass that always guides him home. he really doesn't know where he'd be without you, or how he'd manage in times like these if you're not by his side to ground him.

"always good with you around."

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #han x reader #han jisung fluff #han jisung scenarios #han jisung x reader #han jisung imagines #han jisung x you #stray kids #han jisung

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777rare · 1 year

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☀️ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.2💥

disclaimer :

DO NOT READ FURTHUR IF YOU ARE A MINOR!!

THIS CONTAINS MENTIONING OF seggs and bad words so please scroll if ur below 18+

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PILRIMIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN

Mercury in 1st house natives are very talkative beings lmao🙊

Mars in fixed signs(AQUARIUS,LEO,TAURUS,SCORPIO) won't take anybodys shit no matter what..if somebody ain't treating em right, they're always ready to fight back

Mars in cardinal signs(CAPRICORN,CANCER,LIBRA,ARIES) can control their temper and toleration levels when somebody's acting all shitty but when they can't take it anymore, you're done for.

Mars in mutable signs (PISCES,GEMINI,SAGITTARIUS,VIRGO) will most of the time tolerate ur shit and get pissed off internally. They won't show it although they do sometimes, its mostly always internal. suppressed anger and frustration.

Apollo-venus/neptune folks are very admiring. Apollo-venus/ 8th house people are charming and alluring whereas apollo-neptune/ 12th house people have ethereal or outwardly beauty. Apollo aspecting ascendant are attractive too. Ex: alexia demie has Apollo quintile venus, zendaya has Apollo in 8th house.

Adams-sun/moon/asc/Mc natives have a very masculine character or mascular body in a man's chart ex: Chris evans has Adam's trine sun, Dwayne Johnson has Adam's sextile moon.

people with aura/ascendant in harsh aspects with moon(esp. Square) could mean people sense ur aura/ energy to be "too emotional" or "cold ass bitch" vibe. the tension in these aspects can also manifest according to the placements, degrees and other aspects.

natives with sirene conjunct jupiter could have such a raw seducing energy and lots n lots of it by the way! They tend to have a very mysterious,sexy,alluring touch to them. its like they have this "cremé dé lá cremé" persona blended in them..it's just so fucking hot..I also feel these natives catch too much attention sometimes even when they don't intend on trying to catch anyone's attention. It can sometimes get really annoying for them too.

In your varuna persona chart usually I feel the native is born to gain world wide fame if their sun/moon conjunct asteroid varuna.

Melete-chiron/sun/moon/asc harsh aspects tend to become victims of anxiety disorders, panic attacks. Check the houses and signs to get more insight as well. Ex: zendaya has melete semi square moon and sesquiquadrate ascendant

Lacrimosa in 12th house natives emotions gets overwhelming when they're in bed or at night. These people could feel overwhelmed with grief and sadness at times and cry themselves to sleep

chiron in aquarius/ 11th house, can show a native getting severely wounded or experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief because of online platforms, social media, technology, anything techno like phones,laptops etc.also these natives never have good, honest friendships. It's always fake friends and getting cheated or left out by friends. These natives should be very careful when it comes to making friends as well. Ex: I have this placement and when I was 10 yrs old, my closest friend food poisoned me. still don't know why.

Saturn-venus natives are beautiful but it's somewhat of an energy that's sleeping in them or yet to sprout. These natives need to put in some self love and work to glow up, especially showing themselves love.these natives tend to dislike the way they look or always try to find some flaw in themselves but their beauty will truly shine only when they begin to love themselves and work on themselves more. (Esp. Harsh aspects)

Virgo lilith natives have a very reserved sex appeal. These people tend to be very picky and minimalistic when it comes to their sexual partners.people most of the time assume these natives to have less knowledge about sex but deep down these natives are just crazy internally. You'll know it when you meet a virgo lilith native.🤠💫Aspects and houses can differ too.

I feel like asteroids in special degrees 11°, 22°,0° also have a really strong or special effect on the native.

sun-mercury natives always look younger than their age. The native can also be very childish even after ageing so much.

Planets in Scorpio sign or where your scorpio is placed is where you keep things hidden, out of reach from others or have deep information about. Thats why when scorpio falls on someones ascendant they are seen as very mysterious and secretive. Ex: I have scorpio over 8th house and i keep my sexual life hidden(8H= sex,money,etc), my brother has scorpio in 3rd house and he knows a lot about my past than my mom, and also about the people in our neighborhood(3H= siblings,neighbours), my mother has scorpio moon so she does hide her emotions a lot. My sister has scorpio jupiter and she does lots and lots of researching and has a lot of knowledge about books and countries that most of the people don't know about.not even me🙂.

Pallas-ascendant(positive aspects) natives look wise and mature

Lots of planets aspecting to chiron can show a native who has been wounded so so many times in their life.

Sokrates conjunct neptune or in pisces/scorpio/ in 8th/12th house natives love deep conversations.they hate small talk and just wanna go so so deep.

Pallas conjunct neptune natives have so much spiritual wisdom.

Tone-pluto natives tend to have a raspy,deep touch to their voice.

Asteroids mentioned above :

apollo - 1862

Adams- 1996

Aura - 1488

Sirene - 1009

Varuna - 20000

Melete - 56

Lacrimosa - 208

Feel free to reblog and tag me when you do❤🙌🏻 Hope you all enjoyed. Thankyou.bye!❤ have a great day ahead!🏝☀️

#spiritualawakening #spirituality #spiritual enlightenment #witch community #witchery #astroblr #astro posts #astrology #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology community #astro community #natal chart

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candeathbereal · 3 months

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Small Astro observations

-Sun conjunct ascendant in synastry is an odd moment for me. Mostly cause as a Leo rising I have met some Leo suns and I have no bad blood for them. It just feels weird because most times the Sun person will mimic the ascendant person in some way. From what I’ve noticed at least. Maybe my Uranus being in my seventh house has a mild affect because Aquarius is all about uniqueness or something along those lines. So naturally I can enjoy the idea of someone doing/acting similar to me but not enough to make a bond with a person. Idk it feels odd for me at least. Other people enjoy it though but maybe it’s just my ego talking idk.

-Pisces suns from what I have seen have either sleepy eyes or something distinct about their teeth. Some people have said that Pisces have fish teeth but that isn't all they can have. Idk I've noticed that most Pisces I have met can have fish like teeth but overall their teeth just has something distinct about them. For instance, my dad has almost no teeth but still chooses to eat steak and all that even though it doesn't seem that easy for him to do. I also think it's the Taurus moon and mars that adds to his stubbornness. You could read this observation for either tropical or sidereal since I've seen the same with some Aries suns (tropical). I myself am an Aries sun but Pisces sun in sidereal and I have a lazy eye and some interesting teeth imo. Mostly cause I have two sharp teeth kinda where you would see vampire fangs but I have a similar moment with two bottom teeth like directly below my other two teeth. There is just a odd sharpness to them that my other teeth don't have. Plus I have always had problems with my teeth to the point that apparently at the age of 12 I had to get most of my back teeth removed (they were baby teeth so they grew back).

-3rd house synastry creates more of a sibling like bond with a person or that person could remind you of one of your siblings (depends on you I guess idk how many siblings people have so yeah). Whereas 4th house synastry has more of a likelihood to remind you of a general family member as opposed to one of your siblings or just a sibling in general. I've noticed that 4th house synastry causes an emotional comfort where you can talk about your trauma or just childhood in general with someone one, but 3rd house synastry is more like a weird assumption that you don't really have to talk about that because somehow it is just accepted that you know it. Again kinda like a sibling moment cause most times you don't have to have deep talks about your childhood with your siblings (at least for me most times). Funnily enough I have fourth house synastry with both my sister and one of my brothers (I have my moon in my sister's fourth house whereas my brother has his moon in my fourth house), so we do have those talks about our trauma and such. Honestly I have always felt more close (emotionally) with them than my own parents. It's an interesting bond for sure for me. I feel very lucky that I have that bond with my siblings.

-6th house synastry is a moment to live through because it can manifest differently based on the planet. I think moon in sixth house causes the most mixed reactions to each other, because the sixth house is all about routine and service. So the moon being there causes a emotional bond for each other through service towards each other. Although it does depend on other aspects of the synastry most times it's a mutual I help you you help me kinda vibe to it. I think it can work out but both parties would have to have some level of emotional maturity or even just a lack of Pluto influence. It's not like it can't work out with Pluto influence but it just would take a lot more work since Pluto is a little cunt who likes messing around with shit so the emotions get fucked around with the most. I can't blame Pluto too much for it since it is a planet all about transformation and obsession and people can control their own actions. Take what you can from what I said.

Anyways I haven't posted in a while so I figured I'd do that real quick cause it would feel wrong not to. I would love to hear you guy's thoughts on this or even anything at all. Feel free to message me for any questions you might have. I can't guarantee anything great or even smart. A veces no tengo sentido. Todavia estoy aprendiendo espanol asi que pido disculpas por mi mal espanol

#astrology #astrology observations #astro #astro observations #astro posts #3rd house syanstry #astrology synastry #synastry #pluto #4th house #3rd house #6th house

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swordcreature · 5 months

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Could I request kissing headcanons for Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor?

anon i just loved thinking about how these guys kiss. i had to keep this to a medium length because 1. i could literally go on forever and 2. there are barely any others ways to say the word kiss without sounding silly. i typed the word kiss so many times it stopped looking like a real word.

that being said i hope you like it!!!!

Dammon, Rolan, & Zevlor - Kissing

can i get through one simple request without making sexual suggestions? the answer is no. MDNI/18+

How the tiefling boys kiss you

Dammon:

Gosh I could think of so many ways Dammon shares his love with kissing.

Sweet kisses where he holds your face in both of his hands and just presses his lips against yours again and again and again.

Unhurried, lusty kisses with one hand on your hip, the other lightly on your neck while his tongue enters your mouth to tease you.

Quick, tiny pecks throughout the day just to feel his lips on yours, even if it’s just for a second.

Tired kisses in the middle of the night when he wakes up needing to feel your lips!!!

I feel like Dammon is totally the type of guy to always smile into a kiss. Doesn’t matter if it’s a chaste smooch or something more heated, he’s happiest when your lips are locked and he’s not afraid to show it!

He can’t help but love the way you taste against his mouth. It’s addicting to him, and it reminds me of how other parts of you taste.

So, no surprise here that kissing often leads to other activities, if you catch my drift.

A little bit of me thinks it’s a part of an oral fixation; he really likes using his mouth for the purpose of pleasure.

And boy does he have a talented tongue.

But also, he’s a romantic at heart! And he devotes himself, heart and soul, to his partner – wanting to show love to them however possible. Kissing is just an easy, natural way to do it.

Of course, he’s learned how to let his emotions flow through his lips.

Rolan:

Okay first. Angry kisses. Rolan, frustrated with you for whatever reason, pulling you against him roughly. Holding your jaw tightly. Kissing you firmly as though it may ease some of his anger. His angry kisses are slow and methodical as he works through his more stubborn emotions.

I imagine those kisses lead to more, a lot of the time.

He seems like the type of person to equate any type of strong emotion with kissing though.

Annoyed? He pins you against the wall just quickly shut you up with one long kiss, hands at your waist.

Happy? He pulls you in with his tail around your wrist, to place little pecks all over your face until you’re both giggling.

Sad? He clings to you for dear life. Caging you in with his arms and just holding you against his mouth with only minimal movement, only wanting to feel you, to know you’re real and there with him.

I see him as someone that doesn’t do very salacious kisses unless it’s in the bedroom. He doesn’t care to be seen with his tongue down your throat by anyone (except maybe if you get him drunk enough, but even then, it’s a long shot), so he saves that for when you’re alone.

But when you are? He loves to suck on your tongue. Love when you kitten lick into his mouth to get his lips open.

Whereas Dammon is a smiley kisser, Rolan is a “brow furrowed in concentration” kisser. CHANGE MY MIND.

Zevlor:

Zevlor is a reserved kisser a lot of the time.

Trying to get this man to give you any more than a quick peck when you’re out and about is near impossible.

He’s just old fashioned, an honorable guy, and he thinks those kinds of things are best done in private – to be enjoyed only by the two involved.

Every once in a while, he will indulge just a bit further. He’ll put his hands on your hips and let his lips linger just a little longer than normal. But this is heavily dependent upon where he is, who he’s with, etc.

And it always ends with him flushing such a pretty shade of deep red.

When you are alone? Listen. Zevlor can be a filthy kisser.

He tilts your head back so he can angle you in the right way to open your lips with his tongue, massaging yours with a wet, open mouth. He kisses like he goes down on you: messy in the best of ways.

These kisses aren’t even always saved for the bedroom either. Sometimes he wants to kiss you passionately, just because.

Of course, he has soft, romantic kisses too. He’s the kind of man to settle your worries with a kiss.

An anchoring kiss when he surrounds you – so that you can lose yourself in his embrace, forgetting about the outside world.

A calming kiss when you need a distraction – so he can pull you out of thoughts for a moment to focus on his lips.

It’s like any fear or problem you have, Zevlor can fix it with his lips. Or his tongue.

#bg3 #bg3 dammon #bg3 zevlor #bg3 rolan #bg3 smut #my writing #dammon #zevlor #rolan #requests/suggestions #dammon x reader #zevlor x reader #rolan x reader #anon #hcs

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mykoreanlove · 2 months

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Unsent, Unheard 💌

“Hyunjin, are you coming out with us tonight?” The dark-haired boy shook his head impatiently. “Can’t. Got plans”, he mumbled. “Plans? I thought you didn’t have a date for Valentine’s?”, his friend asked confused. “It’s not a date per-se…” “Then what is it?”, his friend pressed for an answer.

Redemption. Salvation. A return to … wholeness?

“You’ll see”, he shrugged it off and left the room. Hyunjin came up with this plan weeks ago after reflecting on all his wrong doings in the past. Nearly all of them were about love and relationships, so he figured today would be the perfect night to ask for forgiveness. To clean his slate and ease his soul. He locked the room and lit some candles, easing into the mood of facing his misdeeds. He took out the luxurious parchment he had once bought in Europe and started writing to each girl he had ever wronged.

Dear y/n, I am sorry I was your first kiss. I’m sure this horrendous moment is burnt into your soul, just like my guilt about it is. I was so into you, so in love with you. I couldn’t wait for it to finally happen and then it did. I drank so much to gather the courage to press my lips onto your pink, shiny ones. And when I did? Marvelous. Sweet. Innocent. But I was also very drunk and once you turned around to talk to your best friend, I moved on to the other girl. I don’t even remember what it felt like kissing her; I don’t even remember her name. But I remember the look in your eyes when you came back and saw me kissing her. Your pained eyes, which were covered in thick tears haunted me for a long time. Back then I probably didn’t apologize the right way because I was too stubborn, too prideful. When in fact I was ashamed. Of what I did. Of me. I don’t ask for your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I am sorry. I am sorry I ruined your first kiss like that.

Hyunjin remembered the aftermath of his actions. He started dating the other girl, pretending not to want you anymore even though you were occupying his every thought. Your peers pitied you, saw you as a rejected loser whereas he was the one all the girls wanted to be with. He let out a deep breath and grabbed the next sheet of paper.

Dear y/n, I am sorry I was your first fuck. I know it was a special moment for you, one that would never come back. And I ruined it. I remember you shaking from nerves. Did I make you that uncomfortable? Was it because of my mean jokes? Was it me teasing you because no one had touched you before? I’m sorry I took your virginity without thinking of you. How you felt, how it felt. Were you in pain? I’m sorry I never made sure you had a good time. I’m sorry I teased you for bleeding all over my sheets. I’m sorry I fucked you again hours later, while you were wincing from pain. I wasn’t thinking straight. Or at all. I am sorry I made your first time so miserable, that was not the kind of unforgettable I was going for. I hope I didn’t ruin sex for you forever, I hope you can enjoy it to the fullest now.

He sighed deeply, as all of this was coming back to him. Images of him bragging about taking your cherry flooded his mind. Everyone was applauding him like he won a scholarship, when all he did was stick his dick into you in the most mediocre way. He was treated like a winner, whereas you got treated as someone that was, well, fucked. Heavy emotions started to rise in his chest, remnants of the past he had hidden away carefully. But now, it was time to unpack them all.

Dear y/n, I am sorry I was your first real boyfriend. Truth is, I loved you. I truly did. But I couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved. Fully, deeply, soundly. I wasn’t as attentive or caring. In fact, I was selfish. All I ever thought about was myself, all you ever thought about was adapting to me. I never cared about your feelings that much but I’m sure you already knew that. I am sorry I put you through all those challenging situations. Like being best friends with my ex, my first great love. I’m sorry I called her when I got good news instead of calling you. I’m sorry I left you on your birthday to go home and see her. I’m sorry I invited her to my birthday even though you told me not to. I saw you struggle; I saw your tears. But I didn’t care. And when it was all too much I decided to leave, like a coward. I’m not sure whether you remember the exact words I sent you in that breakup text, but I do. They are imprinted in my brain. I didn’t have the courage to face you – after everything I put you through, I wasn’t even able to give you a proper goodbye. Or an explanation. I am sorry I was your first great love. I am sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations.

Hyunjin remembered how your dad had reached out to him, asking if he could at least talk to his daughter. According to him you had been so heartbroken, not eating for days, not smiling for weeks, not living for months. But he chose to ignore those requests. He couldn't handle them. Hyunjin wiped away a tear. He didn’t think it would bring up so many memories, each one more daunting than the one before. He never thought about his actions, nor the consequences as it was too painful. Too shameful. But now he decided it was time to. If he wanted to be better and deserving of true love, he had to own his mistakes. One by one.

Dear y/n, I am sorry I was your first real one-night stand. Or rather, two night-stand? When I came to your city for work, I was a lost cause. A soul astray. Someone that gave up on love and only indulged in pleasure. That’s exactly what I used you for. Notice my words? Used. I am sorry I treated you like that. I only needed you for sex. I really liked you, though, and everything I shared with you was true. The story about my dead grandmother’s spirit? True. The story about how I got cheated on? True. My compliments about your unique beauty? True. Me thinking about a future with you? True. But that all fell into pieces as I realized that I was nowhere near you, not even close to your level. You deserve someone that is open to love, not someone like me that’s rotten. And that’s why I pushed you away. I used you for my ego, only to push you away like your feelings didn’t matter. They didn’t. That’s why I blocked you without a word. Once again, I behaved like a coward. I am deeply sorry that I got your hopes up only to crush them like childish dreams. I am sorry I evoked a love within you that I never intended to keep.

Memories of you reaching out to him on other platforms flooded his mind. You begged him for an explanation, you begged to see him one more time. Back then he continued to block you there, too. Hyunjin sighed heavily. Those were only four letters – four memories in which he acted like the biggest dickhead. He felt horrible. Facing these things felt atrocious. “Nah, fuck this”, he mumbled annoyed as he pushed the letters into his wooden drawer, leaving it half-open whilst exiting. “I never intended to send them anyways”, he mumbled as he grabbed his coat and rushed past his roommate, eager to flee from his mistakes. “Where are you-?”, Jeongin asked confused. He saw his friend leave in a hurry and wondered what had gotten into him. Curiously, he entered Hyunjin’s room and scanned the premise – there was nothing suspicious apart from the very expensive stationery and ink on his desk. “Was he writing a letter?”, he mumbled as he rummaged through Hyunjin’s stuff. Jeongin slammed his knee on the half-opened drawer and winced in pain, cursing Hyunjin for being so reckless with his things. “Wait, what are those?” He took out the letters and scanned through them, eyes widening in shock as he realized what he had found…

Happy valentine's - I am eternally grateful for everyone reading and sharing ❤️

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raayllum · 1 month

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Key to His Heart Theory: Shot Through the Heart, and You're (S5) to Blame

Intro

So a little over a year ago (since usually I think about things meta wise for at least a good month before writing them down), I wrote a meta about why I thought the Key of Aaravos might hold a quasar diamond, specifically Aaravos' missing chest piece. His heart, if you will.

At the time, I thought it was a very strong contender for what the cube might be, even if it didn't necessarily give us a clear depiction on what it might be used for, and was again operating under the assumption the cube itself is something Aaravos even wants back or needs (which is assumption still, at this point).

It made sense loosely with some of the new information we'd gleaned about the cube from S4 (mostly the Callum pawn intro with its bright flashing light, the emphasis on hearts in the narrative with Ezran's speech, the 4x04 flashbacks) and was likewise built upon a previous meta regarding the series' use of Egyptian mythology (Thoth and Ibis being present somewhat in Callum's arc, the main trio's parallels to another Egyptian myth trio, Aaravos' mirror and mirrors as objects of divination, and potential matching symbolism with the ankh).

The Key to His Heart theory was also built on previous seasons — largely the Magma Titan plot line, and Avizandum being stabbed in the heart — in addition to Aaravos' chest piece, seemingly, being notably absent, which seemed indicative of certain lines from the short stories, particularly Rayla (S4's Dear Callum), but we'll talk more about these later:

Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.

If you're interested in this theory and want to know about it, I recommend reading the two metas I've linked above, as the rest of this won't really be delving too much into what I've already written about, and talking about how season five has given more potential evidence.

With that out of the way, let's get into it in rough order of "most to least" likely:

Season Five

TDP Reflections

Whereas hearts weren't mentioned too much in the short stories leading up to S4, they became a reoccurring motif every TDP reflection story going into S5.

Fools. They might as well have held their own hearts, beating and bloody, in the palms of their hands. Kim’dael knew that if she showed them her heart—or something convincingly like it—the Sunfire elves would do exactly what she wanted them to do.

“Rayla,” she said, meeting Redfeather’s gaze. “My name is Rayla. And I’m going home.” Redfeather sighed. “Oh, you bleeding heart.”

“They balk at shadows, then.” Aditi pulled a slip of white-hot metal from the forge and turned to place it upon a gilded anvil. “I see your heart—and I am not afraid.”

It stared up at him. Ezran felt a coldness twist its way around his heart. It took his lungs, too, and for a long moment he could not breathe, could not feel anything but an unfamiliar anger so potent it seized the whole of him, inside and out.

Viren staggers backwards, his last breath shuddering through the blade. His white robes turn red at his heart. Something in Soren’s own chest shatters along old cracks, but he cannot look away.

“You are stronger than this. All storms end!” Rex rumbled a snort through flared nostrils. “What lies at its heart?”

He wept for his city, his people, and the darkness struck deep into their hearts.

While one may say it ends with a sunrise, another will insist it ends at nightfall. Yet at the heart of the story is a single, simple truth…A star fell from the sky.

From where Kim’dael stood, she could only see the brilliant aura of its magic. For a moment, it was as though the queen’s heart overflowed with light.

Now, some of this is undeniably because a heart is a short hand for emotion and one of our most useful metaphors for communicating a variety of emotion. However, I did think it was particularly interesting / eye catching that these lines tended to overlap with the series' growing light and darkness motif and emphasis on wounds/scars (to the point we have a 5x02 episode titled "Old Wounds" that refers to both Viren's past and Callum and Rayla's healing relationship).

But by far the one that struck me the most, and seemed the most reminiscent of how Aaravos's (literal?) wound manifests is this paragraph from Claudia's short story:

Lissa had left her years ago, but the space she had owned in Claudia’s heart remained. It was a dark place now, hard and hateful, its edges raw as a wound that had forgotten to heal.

Mountains had crumbled and left in their wake a vast new sea. It was as though the land had been dealt a great wound and bled a hundred years. Terror washed across the remnants of humanity like a wave: What power could fell mountains? Turn all the world dark, and bleed a sea from stones?

—Ripples (pre-S5)

As well as Aaravos' clear desire to have revenge over the Startouch elves for something that seems to go beyond the resentment over just being banished:

I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. For I have been patient.

—Patience (pre-S4)

We don't know yet if we are going to get more TDP reflections going into S6 or S7, but given the way the previous stories emphasize the heart as both a symbolic idea (a darkened, hollowed out heart) and a literal entity you can hold in your hands... It's clear there's something going on symbolism else, otherwise why be so consistent? But enough of the reflections, for now.

Time to talk about S5 itself.

Laurelion

Previously, I thought the cube in the intro (a literal glow toy, as Rayla identified back in 1x05) already had similar properties to the star-glow effect in the title intro back at S4.

At the time, this was more of a guess. Most of the Star magic we'd seen at that point we weren't able to fully identify as such, it seemed a bit more magenta in colour, and while there was a parallel in the bright flash of light upon releasing Sir Sparklepuff, there's also a bright flash when the prison is actually made. It's just a good short hand for a crescendo of magical power, you know? We didn't know if quasar diamonds were even going to be white, besides the one presumably in Aaravos' chest concept art wise.

And yet — it still felt like something to me. Then S5 with Laurelion came along.

The Death of the Immortal

K: "And though undying, took last breath, immortal Laurelion was no more." C: That's good, right? I mean when someone "was no more," that's — that's dead, yeah? K: It's a bit confusing, but that is the clearest implication. Though it is somewhat odd they call them undying and immortal. C: Well, that doesn't sound so immortal? Laurelion "was no more". K: Right. C: But how? How did they...? K: Right here. "White as the star's heart it pierced, ivory draconic brought death's bite known ever forth as Novablade." C: It's a sword.

There's a few noteworthy things about this whole exchange:

The poem has to be relevant eventually, otherwise why include it at all when you easily could've just had Kazi and Callum stumble across the sword period?

It confirms that the heart of a star is something that can be pierced, presumably removed, and white, which I think is the biggest "hell yeah" to the 4x04 intro

There is no reason to point out the contradictions in the poem itself unless A) the sword doesn't work the way we think it does and/or B) we are going to find out why the "undying and immortal" thing matters — and they make sure to emphasize the contradictions quite a bit as well, so they definitely want us to notice

If Laurelion died, and Aaravos took his place, that would explain how Laurelion — identity wise — could die while the same person under a new name could also remain alive / immortal

We learn in Rayla's pre-S5 short story that Ghosts don't often keep their real names, and take a new one as the final severance of their bond with their old community. For all extents and purposes, Aaravos was Ghosted (banished) from his community as well. Taking a new name would make sense

"That must've been when [Harrow] fell." "Fell? Fell! He didn't fall, Rayla, he didn't trip and fall on the ground — he got killed!" (2x08)

There's more speculation here regarding the actual sword and draconic ivory, but that is another post for another day that other smart people have made if you are interested. For now let's just focus on the heart.

We know Laurelion had a heart; we know it got stabbed with the Novablade, leaving Laurelion both no more (i.e. dead) and yet immortal / undying. We know that Arc 2 in particular has had an emphasis on losing your sense of self and identity ("I was his puppet" / "We can't save everyone, Soren" / "But I'm not evil. It's me" / all of Viren's dream visions). We know that a Star's heart is white. We know that Aaravos seemingly used to have one, and now it's either missing or impermanent, only visible sometimes.

(Putting a pin in the second image cause we'll roll back around to it in the counter evidence section.)

We know his chest centrepiece glowed when he was imprisoned, and we know it was seemingly gone when he got banished. We know something about the Key of Aaravos was able to reveal his treachery.

I'm not saying any of this is for sure connected, but it does make you think, at least a little?

That, and it'd play into another bit of potential interesting foreshadowing / symbolism we got in s5 with

Viren Heart Theory

This is another theory I've discussed in more detail elsewhere, so I'm going to link to it here, but it wouldn't feel right to not talk about it at least a little here. Basically the theory is that Viren used his own blood / a piece of his heart, or possibly the whole thing, and the relic staff in order to save Soren when he was a young child.

This is largely due to Viren's spotlight turning red after he begs to be able to save Soren, and cinched by Kpp'Ar pointing specifically at Viren's heart only for Viren to deflect and start talking about Soren's case specifically. Whatever he did seemed to make him more 'powerful,' but at a great personal cost ("In the name of love you may perform acts that are so unforgivable, you will never forgive yourself") and something he finds the need to justify ("I had to do something! I had to save him! I had no choice!").

If Viren did this, it also adds another layer to Viren's sentiment of "Harrow's death breaks my heart" being well, half-hearted, in addition to Soren literally stabbing illusion Viren in the heart in 3x09. Viren mutilated his heart for his son's life, stopped being able to properly express love to said son, and then Soren stabbed his father right in the place that presumably saved him as a child. Ouch.

It seems likely that one of the reasons Aaravos was able to prey so aptly on Viren's desire for importance and attention — to Matter — was because Aaravos might've tried and failed earlier on to get the Startouch elves to listen to him pre-banishment. Being ignored, exiled, and disempowered is something he can relate to, and something he doesn't mind taking advantage of when it suits him.

However, if this combination could save someone Viren loved, it makes me wonder if Aaravos did something similar to likewise try (and fail?) to save someone he loved, too. It's either that or the Startouch elves just completely ripped it out, so... I guess we'll have to see?

But yeah — if Viren did it, then I'm expecting it's more likely that Aaravos did it, too. That is all.

The Pawn Intros

But Dragons, you say, didn't we already talk about the Callum pawn intro?

And to that I say yes, but — thanks to a promo S6 picture of Aaravos crying, we know something else very important about said intros that we didn't know before: they take place at the Sea of the Cast Out.

The sky, the mountains... the fact we know, thanks to the statues in 5x09, that this is likely where Aaravos' grief — his wound, if you will — began to bleed and take root, leading to his thousands of years of seeking vengeance and using just about anything or anyone he could. This is, presumably, where his chess game started... and where it is, symbolically at least, going to end.

Okay, so it's the Sea of the Cast Out — why does that matter?

Well, we know the Sea of the Cast Out is a site of literal trauma for Aaravos. We know, thanks to the statues of Aaravos and the Merciful One, that it plays into the same reaching motif we see Viren participate in quite a few times, both in his intro and in other places/relationships (most notably Sarai, Harrow, and Terry).

The Sea of the Cast Out is also, perhaps more importantly for this theory's purposes, near Elarion. What little we do know about the city beyond it being an important place for humans and dark magic ties it repeatedly to nature through The Midnight Star poem:

Elarion, trembling seed, lay down to earth in icy night, and in the cold her roots took hold defying winter’s deathly bite. Elarion, fading bloom, afraid to wilt and dim and die, [...] Elarion, dying husk, did wilt and whimper in the dark [...] Elarion, black-eyed child, her twisted roots spread deep and far,

as well as a tale about the Flowers of Elarion, precious blooms that could soothe the senses and turned to dust come morning—flowers that were left as "a fair exchange of beloved for beloved" (Tales of Xadia). Put a pin that Exchange idea because I swear we're gonna come back to it but not in the usual way you might be expecting, or at least not entirely.

And we have good reason to believe this nature motif is tied to Aaravos' current imprisonment as well, given how present flower imagery is for his mirror.

So the Sea of the Cast Out and Elarion seem to be the two places we know of thus far that are not only the most important to Aaravos, but the most instrumental to his banishment. It would not surprise me if either Aaravos got involved in what would become Elarion either because he was banished, or it was what he was banished over, or if discovering the truth of what happened there is likewise why the Archdragons were partially like "Yeah, we gotta lock this guy up" (now that they knew he posed a serious threat). The fact that Elarion is referred to as a child (everything with "blood of a child,"), black-eyed (which denotes dark magic), and winter's "deathly bite" ("White as the star's heart it pierced, / ivory draconic brought death's bite") just all ties together nicely in being related even if we're not totally sure how.

But Aaravos having his chest piece removed by force / as punishment in addition to being cast out by the Startouch elves, or him taking it out himself and giving it to someone who was lost... There's a lot of roads to get here as to why this stuff all seems connected if the Key is indeed his chest piece, which offers up both a power up, a sad tragic backstory, some baller symbolism, and some nice double meanings as to what it is key wise.

As the Key works in the moment, it doesn't seem like it's something that would be very useful to a primal mage, as other than pretty easily identifiable gemstones they wouldn't be using much the key identifies. However, the function of the Key being able to categorize and sort magical creatures and plants from each other is something that is very useful if you're a dark mage and need to shore up your ingredients list.

If the Key has Aaravos' chest piece in it, there are two main prongs this offers:

It may have been instrumental in helping humans discover dark magic, hence the "Elarion, searing white" and could also be the Gift the poem speaks of. Aaravos removed it himself (love makes you weak?), gave it to his chosen human, chosen human died, and he was locked out of Startouch realm as a combined result. This offers the clearest connection between why Aaravos' mirror has the nature motif and why Aaravos is crying in the beginning of 6x01.

It was removed by the Startouch elves and lost/hidden, forcing Aaravos to be away from his old home until he could find it again. This is the clearest explanation as to why the Key might be relevant on a plot level. It could give him the power up he needs to get out of his prison and barring that, it's what he needs to wreck havoc and gain access to the Startouch elves to get revenge on them

It also allows what we learn of the cube in 2x06 to have multiple meanings:

The Key is revealed in an episode called The Heart of a Titan. We're led to assume that this is just the Magma Titan, and you could perhaps make an argument the dual meaning (just like how Breaking the Seal refers to the letter and the titan's chest) refers to Harrow or Callum's capacity to love. But, given that one of Aaravos' most prominent mythic comparisons is to Prometheus, a literal Titan, well...

"It unlocks something of great power in Xadia" would work equally well if it's a Key literally made from Aaravos, not just to Aaravos. And the past 2 seasons in particular have emphasized over and over again just how powerful and dangerous he is

The salvation and destruction motif that is inherent in the key, ("I just have a feeling this key thing can help me" / "It's the key of Aaravos, no good will come of it") as keys are linked to chains and freedom with the ability to lock and unlock, is rampant in 2x06, as Viren states that Xadia and the Magma Titan "held both the promise of our salvation and threat of our destruction." This goes double for Sarai sacrificing her life to save Viren

And to round back to Viren and his intro, I don't think it's a coincidence that

is one of the first things Aaravos ever says to Viren, particularly when trying to earn Viren's trust. (Nor that Aaravos considers that Zubeia and co. "betrayed" him when "he would lower his guard," just before the imprisonment.) And while Aaravos gains Viren's trust as a political ally here first, it's also clear that he's actually primarily preying upon Viren's deepest emotional desires here as well: to be listened to. To matter.

Viren wasn't listened to by the monarchs around him (Harrow). He wanted to be important (to them). He wanted to matter.

"It is everything to me, to know that I matter. It's all I ever wanted."

Aaravos: Search your heart. There is something you want very badly. (2x09) Zubeia: He was able to give them something they wanted very badly. (4x04)

And that's what Aaravos offered him, with power and knowledge just being the bait. (If you're interested in more detailed thoughts on this aspect of Viren / their dynamic, check out this meta here.)

More to the point, I do lean towards the Key's plot purposes being 1) a power-up that may be needed for him to get out of his mirror and 2) something that likewise allows him to see the other Startouch elves again. After all, the Silvergrove gave each elf a similar kind of key:

But y'know what, let's talk about Rayla now, because

The Missing Piece of Your Heart

As stated earlier, Rayla's letter has a consistent metaphor when it comes to family and loss:

I remember how I felt when my parents left me to join the Dragonguard, like PART OF MY HEART WAS MISSING and I would never feel right again. I thought I hated them when they did that to me. In the beginning, it felt so big and terrible—like raging despair—but, overtime, it became a soft, sweet ache—a reminder of that missing part of my heart. [...] Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.

This struck me as interesting when the letter first came out, as it was a departure from most of Rayla's previous heart motif ("My heart for Xadia") and even the one attributed to her one half of her parents ("My heart goes out with this one"). Why have the motif suddenly switch up when it would've worked just as well, or been doubly romantic + a Ruthari parallel, to just have it be the whole heart?

Then season four came out, and I understood, because, well...

Upon her return, Rayla brings back that "missing piece" of "Callum's heart". It's a painful restoration and doesn't run entirely smooth, but in season five in particular we see him be much more like his older, happier self once he's let himself love her again, and how steadfast he is in said love ("To love is simply know this...").

But, in a moment that could've been exclusively about Rayla, nor did it need for Stella's connection to the Star arcanum to be this prominent in the same moment, they choose to likewise highlight Rayla 'bringing home' the missing piece of Aaravos' heart, too.

This symbolism is also consistent with how the key is introduced in the first place, i.e. first thought of because Rayla's drawing in Callum's sketchbook (another gift from Harrow) reminds Callum of it, and her ultimately being the one to retrieve it even once things at the Banther Lodge take a turn towards the south.

Furthermore, we do have reason to believe that Rayla is indeed the 'Key to Callum' in a sense, particularly after 5x08. Just like how a key can both lock and unlock — give freedom or entrapment — Rayla symbolizes a great deal of duality in Callum's life, including but not limited to:

Leading him to primal magic (1x03, 5x08) and dark magic (2x07, 5x08)

Light ("No one can control you or make your choices for you" / Ray of light) and dark ("But the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself" / "Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don't look for me")

Being routinely emphasized in Callum's arc with Aaravos, especially in S4

"Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad" / "You have to hold pain and love in your heart at the same time" / "And when she came back, I was so happy, and so mad at the same time"

Salvation ("Rayla saves people [...] that's what makes her a hero") and destruction (being willing to die / do dark magic for her)

The Ocean arcanum realization being both positive and negative, just as the poem itself takes on a different shape across the season in regards to how Callum views her and how he views himself while being motivated by his love for her / Ezran

“Wow. So [the berries] look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

—Book One: Sky novelization

If you're interested in a more specific meta on this dichotomy, I recommend this meta written pre-s4 and this more recent one about 5x08 specifically.

I've written before about Rayla have a weird consistency with the cube as well, particularly in her being the primary carrier of its foreshadowing for most of arc 1, with Callum only really doing so in 1x04 and having Rayla pick up the slack the rest of the time:

"It's a toy, a piece from a children's game" (1x04) as well as "It's a glow toy" (1x05) are now literally true as the cube is 1) involved in Aaravos' game and 2) literally glows a bright flashing light circa the 4x04 intro.

"Are you practicing magic or are you losing to Bait at a game of rolly-cubes?" (2x07 right after Callum calls it a key) came to pass, somewhat if not outright, it seems, in 5x08. Callum practices two different magics, Rayla is literal bait in exchange for the glow-toad, and the episode ends with Callum being worried he's potentially losing Aaravos' 'game' so to speak — that he's made himself more vulnerable to the Startouch elf's control.

Two lines of hers regarding the cube that have not yet come to pass are "This doesn't end well for you" (1x05) and "I hope it was worth it to you, putting everyone's lives in danger" (1x04) but I expect that we'll get them soon enough.

Rayla's 'tether' to a the cube does, of course, loop back into the Flowers of Elarion tale, in which there was a fair exchange of beloved for beloved. If the Key does indeed hold Aaravos' heart (and that is still a very big If), whether it would include an actual exchange is still debatable, but it seems inevitable that she would at least play a part. (If you're interested in more thoughts on Rayla + the cube, check out this meta pre-s4.)

Where the game motif gets the most interesting, I think, is where it intersects with the idea Aaravos mentions in 2x09 regarding, "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals," and one of the TDP short stories in particular having one very interesting tidbit:

“My behavior is—?” “—unusual,” Corvus repeated, nodding. “Very unusual. Ever since you started challenging me to all these little games.” Soren squirmed. His pauldrons clanked as his shoulders slumped. “They aren’t games. They’re tests. Ugh…I’m really messing this up.”

Since Rayla is going to have her "My heart for Xadia" undeniably tested, it would make sense if Callum and Aaravos' hearts came into play too, don't you think?

Other Misc Symbolism / Oddities

Last but not least, we have our odds and ends that didn't fit in the other sections, but I thought may be worthwhile to mention anyway.

For starters, we have screencaps (most notably in 3x06) where you can see a visible dip in Aaravos' tiddies chest that indicates something was removed, and it's not just an artificial darkness.

We have Aaravos touching a fist to his heart twice before he bows and indicates that Callum is going to "play" into his hands (remember that game motif?).

We have this shot, which is the exact kind of thing that "crew makes sure the Ocean and Moon runes are most prominently on display in Callum's dark magic dreams to foreshadow him doing dark magic in S5 Ocean for his Moonshadow gf 3 seasons later" would absolutely do and think they're So Funny about. "No gem for star magic" except the one you're unknowingly holding in your hand, am I right?

Finally, we have precedent that dark magic can 'darken' your heart both in show when Amaya passes the light trial ("A human that is pure of heart") and in the graphic novels with Claudia ("Your heart is not yet darkened") which allows her to see the map to a unicorn (The Puzzle House).

@self-spaghettification also noted that the bright white flash of the star in the 'o' of Aaravos' name in the Arc 2 intro momentarily looks like and makes the shape of the Nova Blade, which is also very cool.

Honourable mention to Rayla going "it's a piece from a children's game" and Ezran going "you said each of the archdragons had a piece of the puzzle" and the Orphan Queen and Jailer presumably working together to trap Aaravos. I think about that shit every day.

Evidence to the Contrary / Alternatives

But like I said at the start, there are plenty of alternatives or feasible pitfalls to consider. This theory resides on a few assumptions after all, that may not be true, such as Aaravos not actually needing the key for anything other than as a lure for Callum, it could purely have something to do with the Nova Blade and nothing to do with the prison, or even have something to do with the nature of magic itself, capable of great good as well as great evil.

His chest piece could've always been more immaterial and dark magic has just darkened it rather than it being removed. Aaravos may have stabbed Laurelion in order to use that heart diamond to partially make the Relic Staff he passed onto Ziard, or Aaravos' chest piece could be in the staff itself, and the cube is something else entirely.

Conclusion

In the end, as we go forward into S6 all the above is more less my personal bet as to where I think we really could go in terms of answering a lot of these questions we've had for a few seasons now. I hope you enjoyed reading the theory and considering (and possibly subscribing to) it, as well as getting your own thoughts stimulated. If any of the above happens I will cry for days and no matter what, I am deeply intrigued to see where S6 takes Aaravos' backstory and, of course, his cube. Luckily:

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp aaravos #key to his heart theory #tdp meta #analysis series #aaravos

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nayatarot777 · 10 months

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what do they adore about you? • love pac

a love pac? from me? shocker, i know. but i’m in the mood to tap into some cute and lighthearted energy so…here it is 😂

there is an extended 18+ reading for this pac on my patreon where we look at what this person adores about you sexually in particular. go check it out if you’re interested!

if you’re interested in a personal reading, then please read the info here

• pile one • 🏔️

this person adores how who they’ve grown to know you as is completely different to who they met you as. this could be due to you experiencing some ego deaths while knowing this person, or this is just about this person being granted permission by you to peel back the curtain to see what was behind the persona that you originally portrayed. and they’re in deep adoration of what they see fr. they love how you’re such a good match for them and how you can meet them halfway. i’m feeling like this person knows that they’re a handful at times and not the easiest person for most people to deal with, however you seem to know exactly what to do to help stabilise them and still make them feel like an equal. there’s a dedication that you have to genuinely participating in team work with them and your commitment to them, and you’re so generous with your nurture and your emotional care too. you may have known this person since childhood or you make them feel the same way that they did when they were a kid - safe and loved and cared for. highly nurtured. they adore your physical beauty. you could be natural most days - no/minimal makeup, simple outfits - but yet your beauty is still so obvious and bright to them. you don’t need any enhancements of any sort, in this person’s eyes. they adore your self esteem and how you know how to give love and compassion to yourself, therefore it’s not a difficult task for you to give that to them as well as others, either. they adore your self-care rituals - whatever that may be. i’m seeing someone watch you do your skincare routine and just stare 😂. i’m seeing something specific about them getting home from a long day of work and you ensuring that they have a comfortable, structured space to relax in with a nice meal to eat that they can tell has been made with a lot of love by you. that’s another thing. if you cook for them, they LOVE your food. this person could be on some old person vibes lmao. “grandad vibes” i’m hearing, and they love how you match that. if you’ve built a stable home together, they love how you know how to keep it orderly and structured. again, i’m feeling like this person would be a little lost in relation to that 😂. especially if you have kids. not to say that they’re useless, but there’s definitely more of a calm energy to you when dealing with these duties and responsibilities, whereas they may feel like they don’t hold that same energy as much - they might be a bit more high-strung and frazzled usually. all in all, you’re extremely healing for this person. especially with how you celebrate any accomplishment that they achieve - whether they think that it’s big or small. you could be the type to constantly want to celebrate in some way - maybe even throw parties - and they admire how you see anything and everything in life to celebrate and value.

extended 18+ reading here

• pile two • 🍰

you could’ve been drawn to pile one, too, since 2 out of 4 of the same cards came out for the both of you. this person adores how you’re really on your boss shit. you could be someone who owns your own business (a business woman in particular), or you’re just very high in your work position. either way, you do the damn thing and they see it. they love that you’re able to be completely stable on your own, not having to rely on anyone if you don’t want to. you have a lot of knowledge about your work, finances, and just the way that the world works. knowledge that could even be seen as something to not speak about by the majority of people. knowledge about the government? especially if you speak to this person about politics - they LOVE that shit. even if they don’t understand it themselves lmao. they adore how you carry yourself in such a strong and powerful - yet divinely feminine way. you show everyone that there’s strength in femininity. you could also fit into the typical definition of a “classy” person. whether it’s the way that you dress, your mannerisms, the way that you speak, etc. this person can see that you’re highly educated - even if not academically, you have so much self-education in that head of yours - and they can tell that you’ve really put in the time and energy to graft in either your work/career as well as your self-development. how much you value yourself. just like in pile one, your self esteem is adored by this person. nobody can tell you shit about yourself. you’ve done too much introspection to let someone else tell you who you are or who you need to be. they know that you’re constantly seeking for answers within. they love your introspection and how you question yourself and your behaviours. perhaps even as a way of finding your own worth - not coming from a place of a lack of worth - but more so “am i living up to my full capabilities?”. i’m hearing that you could remind this person of their mother in particular? maybe their mother had this demeanour too, and you naturally match that same energy extremely well. they have so much respect for you because you have so much respect for yourself. they also adore how, although you’re extremely abundant, you’re still very down-to-earth. you don’t let your money or materialism get to your head at all. you keep yourself connected to what you believe truly matters - which is your internal state. they also adore how you don’t speak that much. you’re not someone who just runs your mouth and talks about your business to just anyone. you’re extremely self-protective and make decisions based on what you intuitively know is right for you. you’re not a follower and you’re not easily swayed by what people tell you - you’re a free thinker. you’re deeply in tune with yourself and they adore you for everything that comes along with that.

extended 18+ reading here

• pile three • 🏖️

i literally just heard “a baddie with anxiety”. PERIOD 🗣️😂. this person adores how you still view life in the best way possible with the best confidence that you can possibly muster up when you’re met with adversity. a lot of you in this pile struggle with pretty severe mental health issues, but they see you dealing with this extremely well. they also love how you’ve managed to release any fears and anxieties that have stemmed from the judgements of others - especially from your family. you did this for the sake of your own happiness and honouring your own joy - and most of all, honouring your inner child. you have a very healthy sense of self despite being someone who has gone through certain types of treatment from others that would usually result in the opposite. you’re the embodiment of strength to this person. i’m seeing fire signs heavily throughout this reading - Leo and Sagittarius in particular, but definitely Aries too. i’m hearing that you’re able to “re-parent” yourself. where your parents perhaps didn’t “match up” (for lack of a better term) to what they were supposed to be, you decided to be your own damn parent and implement the teachings and the wisdom that you needed to, towards yourself. you’re also a pretty big “larger than life” personality to this person. i’m hearing “goofy ass” for a lot of you 😂, meaning that you’re always laughing and joking and not taking life all that seriously. they adore the connection that you have to your inner child and how you can see life as one big playground, almost, despite everything that you may mentally struggle with. these psychological struggles could get worse at night, but they admire how you know how to re-group and acknowledge the following new day as a new opportunity to make the most out of your experiences in life - big or small. they love your acceptance and readiness to just experience life. it’s like you have fears about insignificant things when you get into a tough headspace, but the shit that you should probably be worrying about (in terms of important life things) are the things that you don’t take too seriously. and it’s like this is your good luck charm for yourself. to just keep things lighthearted and fun. they also love how you’re awakened. to what you feel like your purpose is, or what your life is supposed to be all about. you could also be extremely aware of how other people live their lives in other cultures to learn from them and take from their teachings to implement them into your own life - that sagittarius energy is coming through. they could love your culture and how you stick to your cultural roots too - especially if this person is a different race, ethnicity or culture to you themselves. you take pride in yourself when you know that you’ve done a good job with something. they adore your confidence in yourself and where you’re directing yourself in life. period ☺️. i love your energy, pile three. you seem like a fun but knowledgeable person to be around who sees the bigger picture to your existence and i have to respect it and admire it myself 😂.

extended 18+ reading here

#pick a card #pac #pick a photo #pac reading #tarot #pick a picture

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mezzy303 · 5 months

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So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

#word vomit #aka these children need professional help #*late night word vomit i'm slightly delirious #my reviews #i'm sorry i really wanted to talk about both kyoko AND ren but it ended up being mostly ren i think whoops #reading the official translations helped my understanding of everything i think #not to diss the fan translations but sometimes they're..... hard to read #skip beat #kyoko mogami #ren tsuruga #kyoren

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hwnglx · 9 months

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Hi. Would u be able to read who between Jk and his FS is more possessive and how the both of the show their possessive/jealous side? Thanks in advance!

jungkook's future relationship - jealousy

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

who would the more possessive one out of them? highpr, aceofsw, 8ofc&9ofsw 10ofc&pagofc, death, aceofw, hieroph, 10ofw

so, they're both not possessive in an extreme manner. i'd say his fs is probably the type to get jealous or mistrustful more easily, whereas jungkook sulks more.

jungkook's fs sees their connection as very special, a deep and spiritual bond. and as i've previously seen, they seem to have some trust issues. i'm not sure if they dealt with some cheating on their partner's side in the past, i have a feeling they've experienced some heartbreak here. which might be why there is this fear and worry, especially about that moment of finding out. since it's such an important connection to them, they're scared it will be broken by something hidden coming to light, some sort of betrayal. in that way, they can get very possessive. "you're such a precious person to me, i don't want you to do anything that breaks my trust."

jungkook on the other hand, he's such a romantic at heart. he truly sees the relationship he has with his fs as perfection, something he dreamt about for a long time. he feels so much responsibility over it, wants to constantly do the right thing. i'm getting the feeling he trusts his future spouse immensely, and more than anything, is telling himself to keep himself in check. somehow, he doesn't even consider the option of his fs betraying him, it's nothing he worries about.

how does jungkook's fs show their jealousy? empr, pagofc, 10ofsw, kingofw+6ofp

in general, they're a very mature and poise person. but equally as emotional, so once jealousy takes over them, they can quickly get pretty whiny and overly dramatic, immature almost. they'll feel insecure, betrayed.. but rather than getting angry, they'll just care about winning jungkook back. get extra affectionate, probably cling to him and make sure everyone knows he belongs to them only. i think more than anything, it'll be important for them to see jungkook giving in to them. once they can tell his focus is back on them, they'll feel relieved. what i constantly feel, is how their main fear is about things going on behind their back. they hate that a lot. "okay he's next to me. he kissed me back, he's smiling. it's all good now." they trust him more than they trust others. they don't want people to look at him too much, or like him too much.

how does jungkook show his jealousy? knofc&3ofsw, pagofp, 10ofc, 2ofsw, queofw&queofc, 7ofw

my god. it's actually kinda cute how both of them can turn into literal kids once they get jealous lmao.

not sure if i mentioned this before, but jungkook is the type to get very obsessed over his fs. (seeing seven surprised me, since it depicts him with his fs quite accurately imo) like, he makes them his entire world. (literally got the world at the bottom of the deck) they're all that man sees, so if somehow that rose-colored vision he has of their relationship gets disturbed, it can quite literally break his heart. i can just see his face dropping, him starting to feel desperate, genuinely hating and despising the sight of his fs with someone else. he won't immediately act on that emotion though, since he doesn't wanna do anything that could be considered wrong.

he'll probably try to block it out at first, but once he's confronted with his fs again, it'll be pretty obvious, he won't be able to hide it. he'll get kinda defensive and sulky. he'd lowkey victimize himself, literally get all dramatic. "how could she do this to me?.." type of thing. he'll just be a bit of a child in that moment.

i really can't see a specific moment of confrontation here though. he really isn't good at voicing his negative emotions without getting worried of him seeming childish. he'll just push away the burn inside his heart and try to deal with it as gracefully as possible.

#kpop tarot #bts tarot #jungkook tarot

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queenshelby · 10 months

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Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART NINE: PILLOW TALK

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Fluff, Smut

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

LATER THAT NIGHT – CILLIAN’S POV

A few more hours had passed. It was 3 o’clock in the morning now and you must have spent at least two hours straight making love to each other.

You explored much more tonight than you did a few weeks ago when you had what was supposed to have been a one-night stand and this was exactly what made Cillian think about where this second encounter would lead.

At least for now though, Cillian knew that he should have just enjoyed the moment, but it was not as easy as he had thought. He was feeling guilty now and, while neither of you moved a muscle for a long time, the intrusive thoughts about his past kept creeping into the back of his mind just as he exhaled the last gasp of his orgasm.

It was his third orgasm that night and you laid atop him, head on his chest, arms around him, with your hips still straddling his. Then, at least for a few seconds, Cillian focused on the feeling of your breath pushing into him and slowed his own to match yours. You breathed in unison for a long time as he tried to make sense of how he felt for you.

He felt confused and possibly even more emotional than you.

After his recent separation from Danielle and numerous sessions of marriage counselling, he did not know that it was possible for him to feel so close to someone else already and this was exactly what worried him.

He liked you a lot and, to Cillian, your body felt like an extension of his own. Trust was a new well of entanglement he felt toward you, adding to gratitude, respect and awe.

He still did not know where this was going and he certainly was not ready to engage in a relationship just now, but he knew that there was no coming back from the place you were in at this very moment. Come what may, you were a part of him now after he did the unthinkable. He slept with his student. A woman much younger than him and, for some reason, it felt incredible and he did not regret a single thing,

There were no hard feelings as he watched you as you finally pushed your head up to look at him, chin resting on his chest. You wore a potent mix of satisfaction and melancholy on your face and this sent a smile across Cillian’s face.

“Fuck that was intense. You are really good in bed, do you know that?” you then said after taking in a deep breath and when Cillian did not react to your statement, you paused and looked at him with concern.

“Please don’t tell me that you are regretting this?” you asked with worry and, luckily for you, Cillian shook his head

“No. I don’t regret this at all Y/N. I am just a little surprised by how good it feels to be with you. I honestly haven’t felt like this in quite some time” Cillian then admitted without any reluctance whatsoever whereas, the truth was, that he never felt so uncomfortably close to anybody ever.

He was almost 46 years old, at the height of his career and not even his wife of twenty years made him feel the way you did right now.

“That’s a good thing though, isn’t it?” you asked without knowing that you had invaded the deepest parts of this man, causing him to be afraid that you were going to break him one day. He was still hurt from what happened with Danielle and he certainly did not want to get hurt again.

“It is, but I just need a minute Y/N. I will be right back” Cillian then said as, suddenly, he sat up, knowing deep down inside that he was not ready for what this may become.

You were his student and you were young, without children of your own and, yet, he was falling for you. It was not just sex that he wanted from you anymore even though he pretended this to be the case. It was a lie and this lie was a protection mechanism he needed to retain at least for now until the initial proceedings against Danielle were finalised.

In Ireland, divorce proceedings could take up three years but, since Danielle was withholding care for their children, an emergency request had been filed with the courts by Cillian’s lawyer just few days ago, seeking an order for immediate shared custody arrangements.

It was a priority for Cillian to receive this order, allowing him to see his children, and if it was known to anyone, including his wife, that he was secretly seeing one of his students, this could certainly jeopardise his case.

Danielle had a habit of lying and deceiving others to get her way. She did this not only in her own career but also with Cillian’s agent, his friends and family and this was exactly what she did for so many years while Cillian simply took it for the sake of his children until, one day, enough was enough and he left.

But the memories of the continuing emotional abuse never left his mind and, just as Cillian disappeared, a tinge of shame had begun to spread across his face.

‘Fuck, what are you doing man? Now is not the time to get yourself involved in something complicated like this’ he then said to himself as he glanced into the bathroom mirror before remembering what his friend Dermont had told him not so long ago.

“What happened, happened. It is in the past. Danielle is history now and you have every right to be happy. The kids need you, but they are older now and they will understand that you love them regardless of whether you love Danielle. She has mistreated you for long enough and now it is time for you to let go and have some fun” was what he said that very same night that he met you and, perhaps, indulging in this secret “affair” just a little bit longer isn’t so wrong after all.

“Cillian, is everything alright?” he eventually heard you call out from his bedroom and, seeing that he had disappeared into the ensuite a few minutes ago already, you were rather concerned.

“Yes. I will be out in just a second” he assured you nonetheless and, by the time he finished up and splashed some cold water onto his face, he opened the bathroom door and saw you sitting there, on his bed, covered by the doona. You glanced at him and waited for him to return.

‘Are you sure that you don’t have second thoughts about this? Because, if you do, I can just go back to the guestroom and sleep there. We can forget about what happened and…” you began to say as Cillian climbed back into bed with you and, just before you could finish your sentence, he silenced you with his lips.

“I am not having second thoughts Y/N” he responded as he looked into your eyes which is when you noticed the vulnerable discomfort on his face. “We just need to be very careful about this. No one can know about us seeing each other” Cillian then told you and you nodded in agreeance.

“Like I said, my lips are sealed. I won’t be telling anyone about us” you reassured him before caressing his cheeks gently and Cillian instantly knew that he could trust you. There was no doubt about it.

“Good, because I have a custody hearing next week and if it was to come out that I am involved with one of my students…” Cillian began to say and you quickly interrupted him.

“She doesn’t let you see your children?” you asked. You were outraged and, seeing what you had been through in the past, the fact that Cillian struggled to hold contact with his own children because of a vindictive ex, did upset you greatly.

“No, she doesn’t. She says that I am a bad influence for them, given my career which, of course, is a whole lot of rubbish” Cillian said before venting on some more.

“Sometimes they come and see me anyway though. They are both older now, so they pretty much do whatever they want but then there are consequences for them and I don’t want them to be put through this by her, because of me” Cillian explained and you sat up and questioned him about his wife’s attitude.

“Oh my god Cillian. I am so sorry. I had no idea” you told him with a saddened look on your face and he could tell that you cared for him just as he cared for you.

“Do you know why she is like that though? Something must have triggered her behaviour” you told him and he sat back up as well and took your hands into his.

“Listen Y/N, I have been asking myself this very same question for over five years now and I still don’t have the answer for it. We went through counselling a few years ago to fix our marriage after she accused me of having affairs and blaming me for her own failures. In the end she did some horrible things to me and I ended it. I couldn’t stay with her anymore, even though I tried, for the sake of my children. Perhaps one day, I will feel comfortable enough to open up about the things she has done, but tonight is not the night. I am sorry” Cillian told you gently before caressing your face with his hands and, just like that, you realised that he had his own burden to carry, just as you had yours.

“There is absolutely no reason for you to be sorry. I understand and I will be here for you when want to talk. It is always difficult when there are children involved and I can assure you that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or your kids. I hope you know that” you told him and the fact that you were so understanding toward his situation made him smile in awe.

“You amaze me, in the best possible way” Cillian then complimented you and you settled back down, into his arms while running your fingers through his chest hair.

“You amaze me too” you then giggled while looking up into his very blue eyes and changing the topic to something more pleasant and, whilst Cillian did not really talk much about his career, you asking about it in passing led him to telling you about his latest project ‘Oppenheimer’ and the impending media engagements for it which, so seemingly, he felt uncomfortable to do.

“I hate doing interviews” he admitted during the course of the conversation and you immediately began to laugh.

“You might be in the wrong business then” you joked before admitting to him that you would probably hate giving interviews too as, just like him, you did not enjoy talking about yourself.

“I suppose I shouldn’t complain. I get paid well for something I love doing and that’s pretty good, isn’t it?” Cillian acknowledged while still gently rubbing your back, causing your skin to tingle pleasantly.

“And yet you moved into a teaching career. Why?” you asked while, running your own hand over his chest.

“It’s only temporary. I needed a break and Professor Simmons called in a favour. The movie took it out of me and so did the separation from Danielle. I’ve got another project lined up for 2024 and, until then, I enjoy doing something else” Cillian said before telling you that, evidently, his temporary career change is also causing him some grief which, too, is something you talked about for a while until you finally pulled a joke on him about it.

“Talking about your commitment to teaching now, I must ask, who is your favourite student Mr Murphy?” you teased in a flirting kind of way and, of course, Cillian immediately furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled.

“The incredible one laying in my bed right now” Cillian responded before giving you a playful kiss.

“Oh good and, since I am your favourite student, could you share some exam content with me for tomorrow? Because I am not really prepared” you then told him with the most serious face you could muster.

“No, but nice try” Cillian said almost immediately before asking you a more serious question.

“You did read the prescribed texts though, didn’t you?” he asked and you broke out in laughter.

“Of course I did. I am not actually unprepared. I studied for the exam and I was just trying to tease you” you winked at Cillian while caressing his face some more and then moving your hands into his hair.

“Well played, although you probably should get some sleep after all and so should I” Cillian suggested before pulling you down for a few more passionate kisses.

THE FOLLOWING MORNING - YOUR POV

It was seven o’clock the following morning. The sunshine rose through the window and Cillian’s bedroom felt somewhat sacred when you woke up before him.

You laid there, listening to his breathing as your body decided that it was not going back to sleep. The cadence of his breath was a mantra you wanted to memorize as it made you feel warm and safe. The steady rise and fall of his chest told you that he was in fact, very much asleep and you wondered what he was dreaming about or if he were just adrift in the bottomless black of sleep.

Carefully unwrapping your feet from the sheets, you quietly dropped your legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Your watchful eye was on him to make sure that your exit from the cocoon of your body heat had not disturbed him and surely enough, Cillian kept on sleeping contently.

Breathing a quiet sigh of relief into the room, you watched he as your heart swelled, your eyes traveling down the shape of his body under the blankets. He was beautiful and you could not recall one single time where you felt the way you were feeling now.

His freckled skin stood out to you and you knew that you could have starred at him for hours.

Biting your lip, you grabbed Cillian’s robe which so nicely hung up on a hook behind his bedrum door. You assumed that he would not mind as all you wanted to do was to ward off some of the chill in the morning air of his apartment before quietly padding to the kitchen to make yourself a pot of coffee.

The warm flannel of the robe against your bare skin and the scent Cillian left behind on it sent shivers across your body, keeping you pleasantly distracted from the mundane task you lost yourself in.

Eventually, you sat at the table and pulled the robe around your body tighter as you watched the dining room fill with the tangerine glow of morning light. The sun had not crested the horizon yet as you heard the rhythmic gurgle of the coffee maker slow to a stop.

You yawned as you stood, pouring yourself a cup of coffee before wandering around and looking at the many photos Cillian had hung up across the house which, unsurprisingly, were mostly of his children.

The fact that he was a family man who cared so much for his son and daughter made you like him even more. It made him more attractive to you and just as your mind settled on how he was so kind and gentle, you remembered last night and the intimacy you shared with him.

The sex was something else because it was not just sex. It was more than that and it certainly was something you never experienced before when sleeping with James.

It was more intimate. More sensual.

It was intense and you recalled the way it felt when he came inside you. It was pure ecstasy.

You imagined the way Cillian’s hair matted to his forehead and his breath washed over your face, sometimes hissed through clenched teeth or through the reverent exhale of an orgasm.

But then, you inhaled quietly, snapping out of your reverie, realizing that you were starring onto blank wall by now while your body responded to the memories, flooding with a warmth and vibrancy that only came when you thought about him.

Then, almost suddenly, your senses intensified and you felt the pressure of the flannel against your nipples and the chill of the air against your skin that was exposed as your robe fell open.

Eventually, your cheeks warmed and your fingers tightening against your cup as you heard Cillian’s footsteps. A slow, methodical metronome that made you feel naughty, as if he had heard your thoughts somehow and knew that he would come into this space to find you breathless and wanting.

“Good morning” you said as you turned around with his robe hanging loosely over your shoulders.

What a sight you must have been for him with the robe opened to expose your soft skin, lips parted as you took shallow, shaky breaths. Your bare feet barely made a sound on the hardwood floors as he padded into view with a hungry glint in his eye. Maybe he did hear your thoughts but it did not matter as his gaze consumed you, the distance between you closed now with each of his steps.

‘Good morning’ Cillian smiled in response just as your eyes travelled from his bare feet, up his boxer short clad legs to find a considerable tent in his pants, the elastic waistband the only thing holding them up against his bare waist.

‘Oh my that’s quite a sight’ you teased as you approached him until, without hesitation, Cillian leaned down to kiss you, your eyes unsure of where to land considering the haze clouding your thoughts, drifting from his full bottom lip to his eyes that were darkening with need.

‘Yeah, well, that kind of thing just seems to happen when you are staying over. I can’t really control it’ Cillian then joked and you did not protest when he gently ran his hands down your arm, taking your coffee and placing it onto the kitchen bench.

‘I am so glad that I have this kind of effect on you Cillian’ you teased just as his touch returned to you and you felt alive again.

Brushing the pads of your thumbs across his nipples, you smiled into his lips as he kissed you again, the hungry breaths between you now growing more urgent. Your skin still felt warm from sleeping but it was growing warmer from something else growing in this quiet space between you.

Your hands became insistent and your robe soon dropped to the ground which is when Cillian took you by the hips and pressed your body against the balcony door, leading from the kitchen straight onto his penthouse garden.

‘Open your legs for me’ he then ordered and, you complied with his request before wrapping your arms around him.

‘Hmm, Cillian… please…’ you moaned as Cillian curiously explored the region between your legs where you were still a little sore from last night.

‘Fuck, you are so wet and full with cum’ Cillian then said as he pressed one finger inside you, causing you to moan a little too loudly.

“I am and you should cum inside me again. I want more Cillian. Please” you said and, the truth was, that you were aroused by the sheer fact alone that you were still slick with his cum from your middle of the night adventures which just excited you even more when he discovered it was still there.

“It would be my pleasure” Cillian smirked and, within no time, his very own cum mixed with your arousal the more he took his time.

“Turn around” he then said and, after you complied with his request, Cillian shifted behind you.

“God I need your cock inside of me Cillian please” you begged again and the rustle of his shorts were the only indication you had that he would be complying with your request before he pressed the swollen head of his cock against your aching core.

Then, slow, insistent thrusts were accompanied by desperate breaths as you pushed against the door while he pushed into you from behind. Your nipples were throbbing as each thrust bumped them against the glass until he was hilted inside of the deepest part of you, pausing to press his forehead to your back.

You could hear the control slipping in his breath, how he was just shaking the last vestiges of sleep while his cock throbbed inside of you. You whimpered as his hands tightened around your hips while you ground back into him, realizing you wanted this more than coffee. You wanted to be connected to him again, to be the focus of his attention and to be filled with this delicious haze.

Cillian eventually reached around to rub lazy, slow circles on your clit and you lost track of time as Cillian rocked deep inside of you. You closed your eyes, disappearing into his touch, memorizing how it felt as he expertly navigated your need. Nights and mornings filled with passion like this would make you experts of touch, of learning what each other needed wordlessly and this was exactly what you were aiming to achieve.

“Fuck you feel so good. So fucking good” Cillian groaned as you felt the kick of his diaphragm as your leg started to shake, your pussy squeezing and relaxing around his cock as he continued his torturous circles. Effortlessly playing your body the way only he could, knowing the speed and the pressure to get you where you both knew you wanted to go.

“God I love when you fuck me like this Cillian. Keep going” you moaned and it was not long before you detonated around him, your knees buckling under you as his teeth found the sensitive muscle of where your shoulder met your neck, biting down hard to draw your orgasm out even longer.

With his teeth in your neck and your orgasm clamping down around him, he pulled you into his chest as he set a pace with long, hard thrusts. Each thrust echoing with a slap that coupled with the hunger pouring from your mouths.

‘Fuck I am close’ Cillian said as your fingers slipped along the glass that was now fogged with the heat of your breath. A delicious symphony of yearning and lust and need that ended with him slamming into you, his body tightening around you as if he wanted you to be locked in place until, finally, he filled your pussy with his warm cum again which was also when, all so suddenly, there was a knock on the front door to Cillian’s apartment.

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cleabellanov · 2 months

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Jet-Skiing through Identity: a deep dive into Mobius M. Mobius (part 1) 🚤

The story started when you said hello.

Our first interaction with this character dates back almost three years now, on the 9th of June 2021. That was when the first episode of the Loki series was released.

So it goes: we see Mobius at the guiding side character, someone to follow in this vast new space the main character is suddenly thrown in. He is a calm, steady figure. However, his serious status as an analyst not cancelling a friendly character. The first ever shot in the series introduces Mobius under the sunlight. The following scenes show him speaking French to a little girl, proving a soothing behavior despite the tight situation they were in.

For someone who works at the TVA, he shows to be quite open minded. He, of course, has a very analytical mind - while still considerating he could think outside the box, whereas other of his colleagues wouldn't accept that a box exists. Even having studied variants, having a focus point is Loki, and knowing the danger it would bring to have to trust one, he still gives this variant a chance. More than that, he takes full responsability for it: when Ravonna says: "If anything goes sideways, it's on you" he responds with a relaxed "Okay".

The first impression Mobius leaves is, therefore, one of a relaxed, almost joyful one.

Although meant to be playful, his response to Loki's threat to "burn this place to the ground" with a flippant "I'll show you my office, you can start there" hints at a potential underlying dissatisfaction with his own situation within the TVA.

But that's not all, and when the easygoing dialogue doesn't work to get under Loki's skin (which couldn't have happened so easily anyway) we get to see where studying variants brought Mobius: to knowing how to manipulate through emotions, using the information at his hands. The only way to get Loki talking was to shatter the illusion he was maintaining, and Mobius knew that. Being able to see this variant for what they truly are proves his smartness, but "lack" of empathy. However, it is more of a block than a lack- for the sake of efficiency- as a consequence of not only working, but living your entire life in the TVA. As a consequence to this, great strenght is also required to keep your true nature instead of just letting it be erased by time and the utter dedication to the time keepers- the only beings allowed to tell right from wrong. Mobius proves that strenght too.

Then, in the second episode of the series, the frame narrows down: from the big scheme to a lower one. Now, a more comfortable theme seems to be growing in the atmosphere between these two characters. We can see Loki sitting with his feet on a desk, magazine in hand, having a small quarrel with Miss Minutes. This is when we find out that Mobius still has more to introduce about himself. There is something that gets him closer to the viewers: having a personal interest with no specific corrrelation with the rest of the story: jet skis.

Going on the first mission of finding the rogue Loki variant (Sylvie, as she is later called) Mobius doesn't let himself be fooled away by Loki's silver tongue, even if in attempt to give him the chance he brought him in for, he almost gets into his play. "You almost had me for a second. My ears are sharp too" Therefore, this character with a first impression of a calm guide and a comic relief isn't to be underestimated. Just because he believes in his cause (collaborating with Loki to fin his variant) it doesn't make him a fool. -> If you have to courage to believe in something impossible, you also have the strength to make it possible.

There is also a soft jelaousy in his character; and seen not only in his attitude towards Loki finding an ally in Sylvie. It's there when talking to Ravonna Renslayer about "other analysts", and the traces left by them in her office.

This might appear as a personal pride, when for Mobius, it is more like a fear: he's afraid of being abandoned or replaced. (Remember the "Who's gonna miss an old analyst with a heart of gold" from season 2?) This internalized feeling therefore translates to the jelaousy we see on screen (or the blocking of emotions once again, but we'll get to that later).

Ravonna's "I know you have a soft spot for broken things" reveales how this character always cared, maybe more than he should have. This desire to help Loki get better (spoiler: he succeeds) is rooted in his own heart, in need of the same care he is giving away. -> Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear.

It also grows quickly into something more, that strictly has to do with this variant, a sympathy that is not put into words, but is seen in actions.

He once again proves to be gentle with Loki, despite the latest mission not going the way he was supposed to. He's stubborn, still wanting to go his way even when there are so many others: safer, and that conform to the TVA. He wants to give Loki his daggers back (LOVE IS A DAGGER WHO?!?), clear proof that he is confident in what he is doing. While the potential consequences outweigh his previous actions , Mobius's determination stays the same.

The one unforeseen factor that disrupts his meticulously ordered plan is Loki's escape through the time door after Sylvie bombed the sacred timeline. For the first time, we see Mobius's cool crack, his frantic calls of "Loki!" echoing in vain.

#please tell me if I did any mistakes English is not my first language :)#if you liked this reblog so it can reach more people?#part 1: episodes 1-3 #mobius m mobius #loki #loki friggason #TVA #tvarchive #infinity stones #multiverse saga #infinity war #loki series #character analysis #but make it my personal one because i know this has probably been done before #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #mobius #lokius #tumblr writers

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