Loser Monologue (Nathan Prescott)

A/n: ah! this is my first tumblr post and first time writing a fanfic (If thats what you'd call it?!?) in 6 years. Let me know if i should fix anything ig?!? this fic is inspired by loser monologue by sign crushes motorist

Blackwell Academy stood as a silent witness to the echoes of a past that still haunted Nathan Prescott's thoughts. The corridors whispered of friendships forgotten and fractured. Among those memories, there was one that resonated deeper than the rest, one person who had left an indelible mark on his heart. She had been the light to his darkness, a friend who had seen through the façade he presented to the world. She had held his secrets and his pain, offering understanding and compassion when he needed it most. They had shared countless conversations, a bond that transcended the superficial, and yet, his own demons had driven them apart.

I stare at your pictures for hours on end Dreaming, fantasizing about holding you Feeling my hands on your bare skin Just being with you But I know it'll never happen But I can't stop myself from fantasizing

His heart ached as he remembered the stolen moments he had spent gazing at her photographs, his imagination weaving scenarios that would never come to pass. He wished he could turn back time, rewrite the story that had led them to this point. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the campus. Nathan stood in the shadows of his dorm. He traced his fingers over a sketch she had left behind, her talent evident in every stroke. The memory of their laughter, their shared dreams, flooded his senses.

Every word you say sends goosebumps all over my body I've tried for so long not to look at you To not look at pictures of you To cut off all contact with you But I can't stop I can't stop how I feel I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling this way At least not for a long time

His feelings for her had grown beyond friendship, beyond the boundaries of his understanding. The depth of his emotions terrified him, leaving him torn between the fear of rejection and the longing to hold her close. Nathan sat on a bench in the campus garden, the moonlight casting a soft glow around him. His thoughts were a whirlwind of memories, regret, and a love he had never been able to comprehend. He murmured his regrets into the night, the words a whispered plea to a universe that seemed indifferent: "I wish you'd look at me the way I look at you. I wish I could be with you."

Weeks turned into months, and Nathan's determination to mend his broken pieces grew stronger. He sought therapy, confronted his fears, and wrestled with the tangle of emotions within him. But the memories of her continued to haunt him, her absence a void he could never quite fill. He stood before a shoebox hidden under his bed, its contents a collection of photographs that chronicled their time together. He had tried to get rid of them, to erase the reminders of what he had lost, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. Each photo was a piece of her he could hold onto, a tether to a time when he had felt normal, when he had felt alive.

I just want to feel the warmth of your body next to mine To see your smile I want to play with your hair See it shine under the sun as it hits you just right I want to watch the sun sink behind the heavens with you Talk, laugh, make out Anything I just want anything from you

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be transported back to those moments when her laughter had been his lifeline, her presence a balm to his scars. He found himself drawn to the glow of the school's art gallery. A soft hum of voices and the dim light spilled from within. Curiosity tugged at him, urging him to step inside.

As he entered the gallery, his eyes widened in surprise. The walls were adorned with artwork, some of it hers. Vibrant paintings that captured a kaleidoscope of emotions and stories littered the wall. A harsh contrast to the monochrome pieces Nathan gravitated to. Each canvas seemed to hold a piece of her heart, a glimpse into her world that he had missed in their time apart.

And there, in the center of the gallery, she stood, her back turned to him as she spoke to a group of art enthusiasts. The sight of her was a reminder of the bond they had shared and the emotions he had suppressed for far too long.

He moved closer, his heart pounding in his chest. His eyes roamed over her, taking in the way her hair cascaded down her shoulders, the grace with which she moved, the passion that radiated from her very being. It was as if the gallery held not just her art, but her essence, her spirit.

Nathan's gaze shifted to a particular painting—a canvas that depicted a couple beneath a starlit sky, their silhouettes locked in a tender embrace. It was a scene that felt achingly familiar, as if it echoed the unspoken longing he had carried for her all these years.

The words he had held back, the feelings he had concealed, surged to the surface. The urge to reach out, to finally voice his emotions, grew irresistible. He took a hesitant step forward, his voice quivering as he called her name

Officially present to you,

🌈I D O L F R E S H🌈

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✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

It issssss the man himself!!! That one mad man that everyone knows about!

He can uses every single modern instruments that you can think of, and he WILL nailed it perfectly...his way ofc

Thankiu u guys for helping me coloring this man, i really appreciated it <3

fuck it transition timeline

I was originally gonna wait until July to do this because that'll mark 3 years on E but I feel like now's a good time all things considered

With that out of the way lets start from the beginning AKA freshman year (AKA 2018)

This was on my way to band camp which is why you can see my trombone in the background (random fact: that was the only year I got to do marching band and our show was "the music of harry potter". yeah irony's a bitch ain't she?)

Graduation picture featuring the bestest boi Jinn :3

This pic is from 2020 because I switched to online and finished high school early out of spite (I was 16 here if you were wondering)

Now then this is from 2021 and was taken only about a week before I started hrt when I was 17

The lake in the background is Lake Superior in case you were wondering. Me and my mother were all the way up on the Keweenaw Peninsula for my family's 4th of July party held at the family farm

Moving on from that I started HRT on July 22 2021 (the appointment was at 9:30 am and I took my first dose at 7:42 pm yes I kept track)

This was taken like a half hour after my first dose (I actually don't really like this pic that much but I'm including it because it is important)

Fast forward from that a year to 2022 when I was 18 and here are a few pics of me around then one of which again featuring best boi Jinn

(it was windy out that day and he tried to bite me immediately after this lmao)

I've never been particularly good at taking selfies lmao

That brings us to now. I've been on hrt for about 2.5 years now if my math is correct. I'm pretty much living full time as a woman, started laser hair removal a couple months ago (next apt is actually tomorrow lol), and I'm working on getting my legal name and gender changed. It's been a long ride thus far and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon so yeah here ya go

So that's it! At least thus far lol

also fuck photomatt 🚗🔨💥

im so normal about them

Bad day 💫

Ironmouse: Part of the reason why I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. [...] I've literally talked to almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP. We've talked on Discord, people regularly check in on me, we get in group chats and we play games like outside of the server... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people.

Ironmouse recently talked about her experience on QSMP, and how kind all the members are. I'm posting the entire conversation instead of cutting it up like I usually would because I really enjoyed hearing her thoughts on the server.

[ Subtitle Transcript ]

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Ironmouse: Honestly, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I did. He's so nice, he's so- he's always been super nice to me. He's been so nice, I– part of the reason why I- I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. You know how sometimes like– you always hear like, "Oh yeah, you know–" when–

Ironmouse: Whenever you like, join like a new thing, right? Whenever you like join like a new thing, you always worry, 'cuz you always think: "Oh, are the people gonna like me? Are they gonna be nice to me? What if- What if- you know, what if this, what if that?" But everybody like genuinely was nice when I first came by, and everybody has been so nice to me– not just in the game, but outside of the game, and–

Ironmouse: Something special about the QSMP is like... People wanna be your friend like outside of the game? Like, I've literally talked to ev– almost– almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP, like... We've talked on Discord, people like regularly check in on me, and like we get in group chats and like we- we play games like outside of the server, and it's just like... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people? You know what I mean? It's very– it's very not common when you go on like, a content creator-like server or stuff like that, you know? You'll get like one or two people that you get close to and stuff, but like... Everybody is SO nice, and everybody's been so nice to me, and I can't tell you how many people like, wished me– not just like wished me happy birthday, or like wished- said, "Oh, you know, hap- Merry Christmas!" dadadada, it's like genuinely like... Asked how I'm doing, and like talk to me, and like... Just like– I dunno, it's just like so- so- it's so wonderful. Ironmouse: Like, I get that with VShojo a lot, like– we're all like besties, and we all like talk all the time, but I feel like it's different, 'cuz like VShojo– we're VShojo, we're like– we're our own group, but this is like... You know... You don't expect this sorta thing when you get invited to like be on some- be a part of something, you know? And it's- and it's been so– it's been so wonderful and everybody's been so GENUINELY nice to me, and I- I appreciate everybody on the server so much, and they're just some of the nicest people that I've ever met ever, and it's just–

Ironmouse: It just warms my heart, and I'm just really– really like, thankful to be a part of something so great, and something so positive! Because like, everybody's so supportive! Like– the time when like, I didn't like– I- I- I had a moment where it's like I– do you guys remember in December when I- I was not around a lot? And like, I had to take breaks and all this stuff and it turns out it was like the concert stuff? They all like would message me regularly, like, we would all keep up with each other, and we would all talk. And I remember telling them about like, how much stress I was under, and like all the- all the pressures of the concert and stuff, and– and they were cheering, and- and- and they were just so... so kind to me, it was just so– so sweet, and- and you know, I was in a group chat with a- with a few people, and they were all just so excited and- and- just super nice, and- and very- very sweet, and it's just– and it's just very– I'm sorry if I'm rambling! It's just...

Ironmouse: I dunno! I- I- I just enjoy being here, and I enjoy hanging out with everybody, and... it's just nice to meet really good people. You don't really find that. You don't find that sort of thing all the time. Don't get me wrong– it's not like I haven't met a lot of good people, like– I just feel like this whole like, my whole like– Ever, like– My streaming journey, I've just been nothing but surprised at the goodness of people? Don't get me wrong– I've met assholes and sht like that, and I've met- I've encountered some people that are NOT so nice. I'll never like, talk about it or whatever because that's their thing, and I'm just gonna do my thing and I don't wanna like, you know, spread any type of stupid drama or whatever the fck, but like... I'm just always surprised about how– how incredibly nice people are, and how genuine a lot of people are, and it's... It- it's just nice, especially since like– You're used to coming from like, a certain background and a certain like, environment where it's like, you've met a lot of like fcked up mean people in your life, and you've just been around a lot of like fckery, you know? So when- when you're around stuff that's NOT fcked, it's just like, "Woah, this is crazy! Is this- is this how life is supposed to be?!" And it's just- it's just really... it's really- it's really nice. It's very nice.

Ironmouse: Yeah, it's very refreshing, that's why I- I enjoy hanging out on here, everybody's just so nice to me. And it's not just like being nice just to be on-stream, it's nice off-stream, on-stream, friendship on-stream, off-stream, it's- it's just- it's just so- it's- it's- it's wonderful. It's wonderful. And I just have to say like... man, I'm just really thankful that like... it's crazy that like I got invited to be on here and I'm just really thankful that, you know... Quackity like, reached out to me and he's- he's just been nothing but nice, everybody- everybody's just so kind. Everybody's so nice. This is something truly special.

they were so insufferable in book 6 <3

Him :)

[ cw: (temporary) piercing / ]

AU starts here!

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I’d imagine Cassandra wouldn’t make a big deal out of Leo’s newfound abilities tbh

And yes, she is in fact wearing her full fight ensemble under her clothes tyvm

Bonus:

Hear me out…Meta Knight and Starstruck

✧˖°.✧ gravity ✧˖°.✧ ɡravɪti (noun) 1. the force that attracts a body towards the centre of the earth or towards any other physical body having mass 2. the degree of intensity of gravity, measured by acceleration 3. extreme importance; seriousness 4. solemnity of manner

so back in april i had the idea to draw ace attorney characters as if they were in fantasy life (so essentially combining two of my favorite games) but only finished phoenix then. tonight i finished up the page with some more, and since we know what the new lives in fantasy life i will be, i got the excuse to include vera as an artist :))

id under cut

[image ID: 5 digital drawings of some ace attorney characters drawn in the fantasy life art style, which is a very expressive, stylized chibi style. they are drawn in the outfits for different lives as if they were in fantasy life. in the top left, phoenix wright is drawn as a paladin, with text next to his head that says "Phoenix Paladin". he is wearing silver armor with gold trim, the trim forming a 'P' on his chest. the 'P' has a red gemstone in the center of it. his shoulder guards also have red gems on them. he has a long blue cape fluttering behind him, as he stands confidently, holding a sword in his left hand and holding up a shield with his right. the sword and shield are also silver with gold and red accents like his armor. next to phoenix, in the top middle, apollo justice is drawn as a blacksmith. he has text next to his head that reads "Apollo Blacksmith". he is wearing a teal apron on top of a white shirt and pants. his sleeves are rolled up, and he has a red piece of fabric tied around his waist. he is wiping sweat off his forehead with his right hand, and holding a hammer in his left. next to apollo on the top right, is vera misham. she is drawn as an artist, with text next to her head that reads "Vera Artist" she is wearing a pink beret that resembles her bandana, and has a paint brush with pink paint on the very top. she is holding her sketchbook in her right hand, and a paint brush in her left. she is wearing brown gloves that are stained with various colors of paint. she is wearing a pink dress with a darker pink collar and bow, and the skirt of the dress has a darker pink line going horizontally across it. she has a white apron tied around her waist that is also stained with various colors of paint. she is wearing brown sandals. on the bottom left of the drawing is trucy wright drawn as a wizard, with text next to her head that reads "Trucy Wizard". she is in an excited pose, running while holding her staff, a tall wand with a glittering green gem on top. she is wearing a light blue pointy witch hat with a white ribbon wrapped around it. the inside of her hat is pink. she is wearing a medium length black dress with a white belt, and she is wearing pointy white shoes. she is wearing a light blue cloak, with the hood on her shoulders, that has her green diamond brooch hanging where the ends of her hood meet. her cloak is fluttering behind her and trimmed with white and gold, the insides if her sleeves being pink. on the bottom right of the image, ema skye is drawn as an alchemist, with text next to her head that reads "Ema Alchemist". she is wearing gold goggles with pink lenses, and her hair is drawn more poofy than usual. she is wearing a white coat over a light green dress. she has a pink tie loosely around her neck, and she is wearing a darker green corset with gold buttons. her shoes are plain black. she is holding a potion bottle filled with a yellow liquid in her right hand, and is looking at it calmly, with the left hand in her white coat's pocket. end ID].

@tardis-technician hey im still obsessed with the way this post is worded

There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.

Hello! I hope I won't sour your mood with this ask but I have been thinking a lot about your gay dogs this month especially.

I'll just try to keep the context short but in general I'm someone that has accepted being romantically undesireable. It was hard but in the end I have built my life just around me, my humble family and at this point in time I don't even think I have the time for a partner. And considering that it's the love month and a lot of people are preparing to celebrate it with their SOs I assumed that, actually, this is a thing that I sort of have in common with Machete.

From the miscellaneous lore on your profile I see Machete as someone that also has kind of rejected love. That also has built his life around his job, possibly hobbies, his family or mentors (depending if we're talking about canon or modern au). Who kind of forgot that relationships are a thing and that people bond with others in that way. Well, at least he did until meeting Vasco.

I just love thinking about their awkward beginnings. Machete being 100% sure that Vasco is just joking, maybe even sometimes teasing him (in a friendly banter type way) or just explaining to himself that all that kindness and interest is just him being a very considerate friend. And then we have Vasco that just tries to be subtle, as if he was trying to pass a fawn without it noticing and running away, but also with time gains confidence and tries more risque moves. Vasco being all smug and Machete being flustered when their hands or shoulders or tails brush in passing. And then when both are sure of their feelings we have Machete who has to choose between God and his love. Who, at first, unwillingly accepts that divine wrath will be worth their brief love.

I just love your boys. I swear they are all the love supply one might possibly need

Thank you for such a long and thoughtful message! I don't know why you thought you might accidentally sour my mood, I'm utterly delighted whenever I hear that someone has been pondering my little guys (rotating them in their head, as they say), and when they go through the trouble of sharing their findings and conclusions I'm so happy I could crawl up a wall.

I think you deciphered Machete's inner workings very well, especially those of the original canon version. The concept of love is of course prominent in Christianity, so even as a kid being raised in a religious environment that discouraged overt displays of affection and close personal bonds, Machete wasn't completely alienated from it. But it has always been a nebulous, unperceivable and unattainable thing for him. When he was old enough to lock down his career choice he readily accepted he'd never have romantic relationships, spouse or a family, and I think he must've been too young and socially inexperienced to think of it as a significant loss. Either he consciously blocked out the need for companionship by studying and working like his life depended on it, or he didn't really consider that being genuinely befriended, appreciated and loved as a person instead of a respectable and competent authority figure was even an option for him, at least not until Vasco came along.

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

band room practice (oblivious yearning edition)

hes slowly getting there !!!!!!!!!!! really..... slowly........!! but it's something !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this happens like a little bit after the frog comic thing . they're friends but also not really? they can't really get a gauge on each other just yet

close ups below the cut :3

they're just two puppies....

don't forget the kitty !!!!!!!!!!