#Stan's back and Kyle has another friend for a while
Note
Requests pre-Eliza? Of course we have 😅 I don't know about y'all but we need bff Jess to come back! I mean hello? Best friend, where are you? As personal experience, I have known my girl for over a decade now and we share pretty much and I we shop together, not as much as we'd like but we do, and we often give advice (more like buy it now or throw away whatever that is) and that is also about lingerie or sexy underwear, we do enjoy to surprise our men and also feel a lil sexy with ourselves and with what we wear ❤️🔥👯♀️
We love Jess, we stan Jess. And it’s only fitting that this story about best friends was written with my best friend @munson-blurbs 💚
Warnings: mentions of smut
Words: 2.1k
[As You Wish masterlist]
The two of you have only been in the lingerie shop for seven minutes and you already have a black baby doll top with matching panties in your arm and Jess has a fire engine red bra and panty set. One of the crappier parts about growing up is not getting to see friends as often as you did before, or as you’d like to. It’s been far too long since just you and Jess spent time together, so when the idea of shopping for some post-wedding lingerie popped into your head, the perfect partner-in-crime came to mind.
A rack just past the clearance section catches your eye and you stroll over to pick up a white bustier.
“White? You sure about that?”
You turn around to see Jess raising an eyebrow at you. “There was nothing virginal about those sounds coming from your room when he stayed over.”
You tuck your lips into your mouth to stifle a pained smile, knowing that she’s right. Your brain is flooded with memories of waking up to Eddie’s head between your thighs, nose nudging at your clit while his tongue fucked into you. Or the nights that started and ended with him deep inside you, fingers gripping your hips like you’d slip away if he didn’t hold on tight. The two of you tried to be quiet–or at least had the intention of doing so–but after a few orgasms, volume control was the least of your concerns.
Unable to refute your friend since you know she’s right, you stick your tongue out at her and bump your hip into hers. A red bra on the clearance shelf is the closest thing to you so you grab it and toss it at Jess’s face.
“Here, have more red, since you’re the devil. Oh no, wait.” A pair of black panties is one shelf lower, so you toss those at her next. “Black to match your soul.”
The brunette laughs and bats the garments away, putting them back where they belong.
“Just let me know if you see anything crotchless because I—”
“Ripped the last pair with Kyle, yes, I know,” you lament. “I don’t need to hear that story again.”
“Spoilsport,” Jess mumbles, turning to stroll down another aisle of slips and robes. “Seems unfair with how much we’ve talked about your sex life.”
“First of all, you ask,” you point out, walking past her and over to a rack of lace corsets. “Second of all, we talk about your sex life plenty. When you were with Paul, or Annie, or Josh. But I’ve heard the Kyle story way too many times.”
The scraping of metal hangers as you look through the corsets isn’t loud enough to drown out Jess’s overdramatic sigh. She reaches behind you and lifts a hanger off with her index finger, presenting you with a white lace teddy.
“Here. Eddie will lose his mind.” She shrugs. “Not that he doesn’t already do that when you’re in anything. Or nothing.”
Heat rises in your cheeks, despite knowing she’s right. You accept the garment from her and look it over—it’s exactly what you were looking for.
“It’s perfect,” you tell her. “Just have to find matching garter and stockings now.”
As you turn your head to scan for the items, a plum-colored chemise catches your eye.
“Ooh, Jess!” You grab her hand in your free one and tug her in that direction. “This color would look perfect on you.”
You pick it up and hold it against Jess’s lithe body, the reddish-purple complimenting Jess’s brown skin perfectly.
“I do look good in this shade, don’t I?” Jess asks, looking down at herself.
“Any shade, really,” you say. It’s one thing you’ve always been envious of your friend for.
Jess bats her eyelashes at the compliment and takes the chemise from you to look it over again. She shuffles the red bra and panty set she already has in her arms and drapes the chemise over them. Patting the silky material, her head snaps up and she gives you an eager smile.
“Okay, idea,” Jess says. “You go to pick out something for me, I’ll go pick out something for you, then we go try everything on.”
The two of you used to do this back when you were in college with dresses and cute outfits when there was a party or special event coming up. A beloved tradition between best friends.
“Deal,” you agree. “I’ll begin my search as soon as I locate my garter and stockings.”
Both of you are fairly quick in your searches and you meet up in front of the dressing rooms fifteen minutes later. Though, “dressing rooms” may be too generous of a term. In reality, they’re only large booths sectioned off by swaths of dark raspberry velvet curtains.
Jess hands you a royal blue corset that has thin strips of fabrics laced over a cutout that exposes your belly button, and the matching panties. The color is gorgeous, and the material is surprisingly soft for something that’s meant to crush your ribs. In return, you deliver the classic black romper you have chosen for her.
First up in the fashion show, Jess tries on her red bra and panties, and you slip into the sheer black baby doll top and panties you’d nabbed as soon as you’d walked into the shop. Once it’s situated on your body to your satisfaction, you push the heavy velvet curtain out of the way and pad into the common area where you’re met by an excited Jess.
“Oh, girl!” she squeals as you do a twirl, flaring out the panels of the top. “That one better be for the honeymoon too.”
With a sigh far too dramatic for the moment, you look down at yourself in the garment. As soon as you put it on all you wanted was to show it off to Eddie. The moment you stepped into the store all you could think about was how Eddie would react to how you would look and what he would do to you while you were wearing some of these pieces.
“All of them have to wait for the honeymoon?” you pout. “I don’t think I can wait that long.”
“It’s less than a month away.”
“But still.”
“Oh, do what you want,” Jess says, waving a dismissive hand, as if she were dealing with a pouting child. She turns to go back towards her dressing room, but you call out for her to wait and your eyes scan over her in the crimson pieces.
“Jess, if it weren’t illegal, I’d say you should just wear that everywhere,” you say. “Like…wow.”
“Why thank you,” Jess says, dropping into a curtsy that makes you laugh. “Next, try on what we picked for one another.”
You give her a quick salute and the two of you disappear back into your respective booths. A few mumbled curses come from your side of the curtain as you change into the corset, the damn thing harder to get on than it looks. Once you both emerge, your jaw drops as you stare at your friend.
“Jess, please let me pick out everything you wear from here on out. You look hot.”
Jess turns around, looking at herself from all angles in the tailor’s mirror tucked away in the corner.
“Love that it’s not skintight and I’m still sexy as hell.”
“Teach me your ways.”
Slowly, Jess turns to you with raised eyebrows.
“Ma’am.” She grabs your hand and tugs you in front of the intricate golden mirror. “Look at you. Look at these.” She runs her hand, palm up, beneath your boobs, as if presenting them. “You wear this and Eddie isn’t going to let you go until he physically drops.”
You giggle and cover your face with your hands just at the thought. Maybe on this honeymoon you’d see how far you could push Eddie before you wear him out.
Jess smacks your ass and backs up so you can look at yourself on the mirror on your own.
“God really said let’s make the sexiest bitches in the world be best friends,” she says.
You take a look at yourself in the mirror, spinning to see every angle of yourself. You’re not sure what it is, but you find yourself genuinely admiring how you look. You could probably count on one hand the number of times that’s happened in your life. Whether it’s growing older, having such a supportive best friend, a fiancé who adores you, or a bit of everything in your life, you feel like maybe your happiness is radiating from the inside out.
“I do look good,” you admit to yourself.
“Hell yes,” Jess agrees.
“Okay, okay,” you say, walking away from the mirror. “Last sets.”
It’s much easier to slip into your last pieces of lingerie so you step out of your dressing room before Jess.
“God, this feels so good against my skin,” Jess says as she comes out of her dressing room. She runs her hands down her body, the silky material cool and flowing like water down to mid-thigh. Her head lifts from admiring her own body and once she gets a look at you in your garments, she lets out a gasp and covers her mouth. Confusion wrinkles your brow, but you really get concerned when you see silver tears lining her eyes.
“What?” you ask, hands feeling all over your body as if you’d find a knife sticking out of you or something equivalent.
“Oh my God,” Jess says, arms dropping. “You…you’re glowing. How? In your wedding lingerie, you’re glowing.”
Even though your body relaxes, your face heats up as a shy smile tugs at the corners of your mouth.
“It feels different than the last two,” you say, adjusting the garter near your right hip.
“In a good way?” Jess asks.
“Yeah. But not like…physically. I don’t know.”
“Look at yourself,” Jess urges, nodding towards the mirror.
You take the few steps over and a small, airy giggle bursts out of you when you see yourself.
“I look like a sexy angel or something,” you say.
“Because you are.” There’s no teasing or biting wit in Jess’s voice; she’s completely sincere and her words are heartfelt.
New emotion bubbles up within you and you turn around to pull your friend into a tight embrace.
“I love you so much,” you say.
“Love you to the moon and back, babe.”
When you walk through the door of your apartment, Eddie hops off the couch and comes over to greet you. Before he can get too close, you put the bags behind your back. Your fiancé gives you a kiss before raising his eyebrows at you.
“Whatcha got?”
“You know exactly what I went shopping for, Mister,” you say, nudging his chest with your shoulder. “And you know you’re not allowed to see. So kindly step aside so I can hide these bags from you.”
Eddie lets out a high-pitched whine but steps to the side. He does follow you as you walk into the bedroom though.
“Did you have fun?” he asks.
“I did,” you say as you shove the bags into the back of your closet. “It was nice to have some girl time. The two of us don’t get to spend as much time together anymore.”
“I’m glad you had a good time.” Eddie leans against the doorway between your shared room and the hallway. When you get your closet door securely closed behind you, you traipse over and slip your arms around his neck.
“Where are the boys?” you ask.
“Nancy and Holly took them to the movies with Natalie and Theo,” he tells you.
“How long ago did they pick them up?”
A smirk grows on Eddie’s face.
“‘Bout twenty minutes ago. Why? You got something in mind?”
“I was just trying on lingerie for an hour and wondering what you’d do to me in it,” you say, trailing your hand down to his chest. You grab the front of his t-shirt, your fingers twisting in the material. Your fiancé’s eyes widen, a grin practically splitting his face in two. A small twitch from beneath his sweatpants immediately draws your attention as his length hardens at your mere touch.
“Yeah, I got something on my mind,” you continue, teeth grazing his neck. “And I think you do, too.”
Before Eddie can even open his mouth, you yank him towards you and walk the two of you back to the bed.
#eddie munson#Eddie Munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#older!eddie#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fan fiction#eddie munson fic#dad!eddie#eddie munson imagine#AYW#AYWS#request
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I was thinking of an au where Craig calls Cartman for help during a really bad breakup with Tweek. He asks him to help him get Tweek back and Cartman couldn't find himself to say no (+plus something for exchange) so he ends up suggesting something very basic as making Tweek jealous. Initially, Cartman thought he had everthing calculated until both him and Craig figure out that the both "boyfriend" candidates weren't willing to do the job not even for cash.
So they were left with no more options. However while Cartman was thinking for another solution Craig suggests him to be his boyfriend which leaves Cartman both in shocked and in a panic.
"Dude I'm not dating you! What makes you think I'd do that? I would not hear the end of this with my friends!"
"It's just for the month or until Tweek snaps! Stop being such an asshole. I'm also putting my reputation at point by dating you."
So after a bunch of talking (negotiating) Cartman ends up agreeing to do this. Monday hits and they start settling the plan by snooping around and making Clyde their primary target, making him suspicious and eventually discovering the two snuggling behind some bushes.
And lord an behold, next day everyone had their eyes on them. Whispering, gossiping, giving them the eyes, some looked concerned. But most importantly, they succeeded for the rumor to spread of their so called "secret" relationship.
Some of the girls whispered about feeling bad for Tweek as he entered and walked furious through the hallway.
Tweek eventually find Stan and Kyle, and straight up goes twoards them.
"Is it true?"
"Hey, Tweek. What's up?" Stan asks, clearly aware of the issue but was too awkward to add anything more.
"Is it true?" Tweek repeatedly said more sternly.
"Dude, be smart. It's probably some scheme Cartman is doing," Kyle spoke after brief seconds, "I just can't point out what he'd gain from this..." he added lastly before his eyes darted away from Tweek's, seemingly in thought.
"I figured. My Craig would never go that low".
And after that last thing said the devil was summoned. And Cartman had approached the three with a 'innocent' smile.
"Hey, broships.
Tweek." He seethed out the blonds name. Already taking note of the other's furious appearance.
Seconds after Tweek grabs him from his coat and slams him harshly against the lockers; startling everyone there and ofcourse Cartman. Who cursed out loud because of the impact on his back.
It was quite a sight for the students that they started forming a circle around them.
"WHY ARE YOU SPREADING FALSE RUMORS OF YOU AND CRAIG BEING A COUPLE?!"
"They're not false, Tweek." A nonchalant but familiar voice chimes in making the blond gasp silently as he kept his eyes still on the brunette. "We're dating.
Are you okay, Eric?"
The other students gasped, Stan and Kyle were left speechless. Mostly Kyle who watched in disbelief at Craig and then looked at Cartman for any left affirmation of this but the brunette was too focus on getting loose from Tweeks grip to even notice.
"Do I look okay?! Get this bitch off me!!" Cartman screamed annoyed as Tweek let go.
He gave one look at Craig before marching to class without a word said leaving everyone else watching. Again, except for Kyle who still remained looking at Cartman with a open mouth and a shocked expression.
The bell rang and this was Craig's signal to grab Cartman's hand and drag him away from the others. As the students disperse different ways and head to their respective classrooms.
At class Craig was second doubting about the whole thing, a little anxious and wondering if Tweek would ever forgive him after he tells him this is all some set up to get back with him. But what's done is done, and he has to follow through with it.
Eventually lunch time came along and he and Cartman sat in a table apart from others they use this as an opportunity to talk about their situation and the responses of their peers; mostly close friends and ofcourse Tweek's.
Craig was pleased to hear that Cartman was told by Kenny about how Tweek started questioning further about them during forth period mostly interrogating Stan and Kyle as if he suspected them to know more considering they're close friends with Cartman. However they had nothing and Kyle was skeptical and still unsure about the whole relationship thing aswell.
Speaking of Kyle, he waited at last period outside Craig's classroom and the moment he had come out from class Kyle yanked his arm and dragged him away from the crowd of students, not leaving him to process anything of what was going on.
Craig looked at him confused as the redhead checked that no one was around before speaking up.
"What did Cartman get you into? Is he blackmailing you? Is he forcing you to do this?" Kyle began rambling about Cartman typical ways and that he'd understood if he were being blackmailed by Cartman and that he could help him get out from it if he told him the truth.
All of this talking was beginning to overwhelm Craig and he didn't know why it surprised him that Kyle would come his way just to prevent something involving Cartman when both of them are obsessed in some way with each other. It isn't new to him neither to the rest of the school or town.
"Dude, shut up already. I'm not being manipulated, blackmail neither 'threatened' by Cartman," he hold back as he made sure to sound and look convincing to Kyle.
Kyle on the other hand was giving him these strong vibes, Craig just couldn't tell what it was but his stare was intensely focused on him and he was feeling uncomfortable. Normally he doesn't usually speak with any of these assholes aside from Kenny's and sometimes Cartman so he figured that must've been it. The abruptness of the whole thing and who it was.
"I really like Eric," he frowned with uncertainty, it feels so wrong to say that when he was thinking of Tweek. But he must sound believable.
Kyle frowned disappointed with the answer and began looking at him from feet to head as if he was trying so hard to find something on him.
And a couple of minutes an another ramble about not trusting Cartman blah blah blah, the redhead finished off with giving him a warning and to be cautious. Also call him if anything, which Craig just sighed annoyed once he was out of sight.
"Dude, I just got a 10 hr lecture from Kyle," he spat annoyed as he entered the other's home.
They had agree on coming to Cartman's house every day after school to discuss their progress. However Craig was annoyingly frustrated because their plan never had a added bonus of having to deal with some paranoid motherfucker.
Cartman was in his couch writing down who knows what in some notebook.
"Yeah, that's normal. Just ignore him everytime he tries to approach you with something," Cartman just answers so casually and unfazed by it as he continued writing in the notebook.
"So what, I'll just have to deal with that? The hell, fatboy? How do I get him to leave me alone!"
Cartman just laughed, "He won't leave you alone, you'll just have to deal with him until all of this ends."
"I don't want to deal with him! I only want to be focused on Tweek not worry for my next 10 hr lecture."
"Yeah, well. What do you want me to say? Kyle has always been like that ever since I dated Heidi. Get over it and ignore him, cause he'll do anything to keep anyone from getting close to me. Something about it never ending healthy, me being unworthy, heartless all that shit that's link to being a monster or whatever," Cartman finally put his pencil aside and passed him the notebook. Gesturing for he to read it.
Craig didn't until he was given some answer to get Kyle to leave him alone.
"Don't you think that's a little excessive even for you? Like, yeah you're and asshole and shit, no one really SHOULD get with you but that isn't really his business or no one else's but yours."
Cartman paused as he looked around seemingly in thought before shrugging. "Can't stop the ginger."
Craig frowned and got tired of insisting, dropping the whole subject taking account that Cartman didn't seem bothered by it or remotely interested of preventing Kyle from getting involved.
He looked at the notebook in hand and Cartman explained to him that they were instructions of how their "relationship" was gonna work from now on. Gestures, compliments, cheek kisses a peck on the mouth goodbye and in extremes cases a genuine kiss with tongue.
Craig wondered if it truly was worth it when firstly Tweek was giving him the cold shoulder and two, KYLE.
Two weeks in it was either being bluntly ignored by Tweek (worse if they accidentally bump into eachother Tweek would glare at him) or Kyle pestering about how he should reconsider the class of guy he’s with and to break up with him already. Even though Cartman surprisingly has been following the rules he had made to a tee. So he was being a "good" boyfriend infront of everyone.
"I'm telling you it's all an act. Cartman wants something I can feel it! You really shouldn't trust him, Craig. Besides don't you still have feelings for Tweek?"
'God this loser' Craig thought as he closed his locker and continued walking, trying to mind his own damn business.
"Kyle, for the millionth time. I'm not breaking up with Eric. So just stop insisting on breaking my relationship with him cause it's not happening."
Kyle reaction this time was very diffrent from the other confrontations they've had. This time his face was red as if he was embarrassed and he seem sad for a second before he covered it up with a scowl, "I'm not trying to force you to break up with him! I just THINK you should reconsider it. He doesn't even fit the type of guys you're interested in!"
Craig arched a brow to that, "and what exactly is my type?"
"I don't know, blonds?"
Craig huffed, "Dude why does it matter so much to you? Just let it be. If he does something then I'll handle it on my own, that's my problem not yours!"
He was about to walk off but he stopped when Kyle snapped at him, "WHAT DO YOU EVEN LIKE ABOUT HIM?! What was it that got you to look at him and say to yourself 'fuck I want his fatass'! Cause Cartman has done nothing to you for you to like him! Look at him or touch him! So why do you like him?!" it startled the shit out of him he stood still now looking at the fuming redhead, "he's a narcissistic bigoted piece of shit who belittles people for fun and a freaking racist! What's so charming about that? Why put yourself with a person you know isn't good for you! Is it some challenge for you? Are you challenging yourself to change Cartman?? Cause fuck you! He won't!"
"Dude. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Craig spat in disbelief. Kyle scoffed dryly before silently stomping away in defeat.
Maybe he finally realized how crazy he sounded.
A day after Cartman enters his room with out notice, taking him off guard while changing clothes.
"THE FUCK DUDE?!"
Cartman sat on his desk chair, "Kyle knows." He spat casually as he checks his nails.
"WHAT."
"Yeah I told him yesterday."
"Why the hell would you tell him?!"
"Cause he wasn't leaving me alone about it," Cartman shrugged as it his reasons were obvious.
"Dude you said we couldn't tell anyone and that 'Kyle does it all the time, get over yourself and ignore him' !!"
"I never said I would. Don't trip, Kyle won't say anything," he shrugged it off with his hand, "also that's not why I'm here for."
Craig arched a brow confused as he zipped his pants up.
"Kyle told me something interesting yesterday about Tweek. You're welcome btw, cause if I hadn't told Kyle about this you wouldn't be getting this information at all, but whatever I guess.
Anyways, Tweek is planning to talk to you on Friday so don't mess it up."
"Wait, why all of the sudden?"
"I dunno man, jesus, that's what Kyle overheard during P.E. but if you want to know more about it, you can ask Tolkien. Cause that's who Tweek was talking with."
Craig bit his lip contemplating it but denied with his head, "nah, I'll just wait till Friday and find out from Tweek."
Cartman groaned annoyed, "you're so boring and plain no wonder Tweek broke up with you in the first place."
"Tweek broke up with me because I have problems communicating atleast that's what he says I do."
"Uhuh. He does got a point, cause you suck."
"Can you get out of my house already!"
It was Wednesday and he can for sure tell Kyle was no longer gonna be a problem for him, not even a glance his way since he arrived to school; like how it normally was before he announced "dating" Cartman. Well atleast the first few periods, lunch time however Cartman decided to sit with his friends and Kyle look his way for a few seconds before returning his attention on Stan.
He sighed relieved that he no longer had to deal with all of that.
And after what feels like an eternity he finally was able to sit with his friends without feeling uncomfortable around Tweek. He was still ignoring him and was sitting right next to Tolkien but not much drama aside from Clyde's typical gossip.
He couldn't help but take sneak glances at Tweek. His blond locks, pale skin, he even missed seeing those dark eye circles on his beautiful face. He wants to plant plenty of kisses in ever corner and inch of it.
"So, how things with Cartman?" Tolkien asked.
Craig scoffed awkwardly before taking a sip from his soda, "normal I guess?"
"This time you guys didn't sit together?"
"We don't always have to be stuck to the side of the other every hour of every day. I missed hanging out with you guys and he apparently missed hanging out with his friends. Nothing serious."
"You and Tweek always were," Clyde added with not much thought, Jimmy just smacked the back of his head with one of his crutches, "OW!"
"No we weren't, ngh!" Tweek spat defensive. Finally he spoke.
It's been awhile since Craig heard Tweek speak and honestly he could hear him for hours.
But in reality they did. They were very codependent with the other, not that it was toxic in a way but there were moments when he did feel suffocated by Tweek's panic attacks or him being too clingy. He no longer felt like he could asked for space cause that also made Tweek worry.
Craig knew well enough that Tweek knew that, it's not like he hasn't pointed it out before. So it doesn't faze him to see Tweek react that way, he's was always insecure about and tried working on it but he just made it worse by calling him at nights and asking him "was I being too much today?" So yeah, Clyde definitely hit a nerve right there.
And honestly he feels like he was about to hit a few more just to see his reaction.
"Eric isn't the type to stay too long in the same spot with the same person. You'd think someone as clingy like Eric would want to spend hours with you but he's always finding excuses to hang out with his friends or gets easily distracted with something else so I let this one slide because I felt bad."
"Sounds like he's avoiding spending time with you," Tweek spat dryly while poking at his tray.
Craig would smile widely because Tweek had spoken with him if it were that he has to remind himself that they were broken up and he was currently in a relationship with someone else.
"No. I just noticed that pattern with everyone he interacts with, it's like he's always trying to discover something new or get into some wacky adventure."
"You really must like him to notice that," Clyde added with interest, "first time we've heard you talk about a attribute of Cartman in that way."
Craig arched a brow confused, he actually thought he was playing pretty well the roll of boyfriend but maybe in speaking volumes he was never the best at. Even if this was fake.
In reality he just sucked in expressing himself.
"Yeah. This is all new to me y'know, it feels nice to have some freedom in a relationship for once."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Tweek scowled as he looked up at Craig.
Yeah, he definitely hit the nail on this one.
"Nothing."
Thursday morning was like a breeze, the only odd thing about it was that Cartman wasn't too interesting in displaying much of their "couple" act. He claimed he was feeling something was gonna happen tomorrow and that it would finally end this facade once and for all, so he felt there was no need to continue proving people they were a couple when they already seemed convinced anyways. Also he noticed he kept giving glances at Kyle when he held his hand or place a small kiss on his cheek and he didn't kiss him on the lips goodbye either like the previous times. This time he only planted a kiss on his forehead with a hop and left the scene quickly.
Finally friday morning, and now unlike the other two days he was starting to feel the weight of the whole situation. He was dying to know what Tweek had to say or if he was still planning to talk with him after what happened on Wednesday. Still, he was nervous.
He sat in his desk and place his hand on each side of his head looking down while trying to reassure himself everthing would be fine.
He looked up and was surprised to be greeted by Kyle who was holding on to his backpack strap.
"Just making sure, but after you and Tweek talk things out today you and Cartman are gonna end this whole dating thing right?"
"Yes...?"
"Even If it's not what you expect it to be. Like getting back together, you'll leave Cartman out of this?"
"Why should that matter?"
"Because it does. It's clear it wouldn't matter if you continue 'dating' Cartman so why drag him with you. If things with Tweek doesn't work out in the end then you should just learn to move on and let Tweek do the same. Even if it hurts."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because-"
"Kyle!" Cartman sprinted inside the classroom and grabbed the redhead's arm, glaringly, then looks at Craig, "seems you're getting ready for the big day huh."
Kyle glared back at Cartman but rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Aren't you supposed to be heading to your class, fatass."
"I was until I saw you talking with Craig and I don't want you running your mouth for everyone to hear."
"I wasn't planning to say shit," Kyle then yanked his arm away from him, "and let go of me!"
Kyle walked towards his desk and sat down.
"Whatever he told you it's a lie," Cartman spat out.
"He didn't tell me anything?"
"Are you prepared for what you're gonna say to Tweek ?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well duh? What are you planning to tell him if he asks you to take him back?"
"Yes?"
"That's it?"
"Yeah? What's wrong with that?"
"Dude, you're so dry! You need to make sure you're prepared for any question asked, what if he doesn't even want to talk about your relationship? What if it's something else? What then huh?"
Craig didn't consider that as a possibility, being that there's nothing left about them besides their previous relationship. So what if Cartman is right? What if Tweek isn't gonna speak with him over their breakup? What then... what would he speak to him about?
And thats all i have! This is literally the creek/kyman au i mentioned u guys previously i wanted to post it before it gets forgotten in my drafts, i would love for your opinions on this concept 😭
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HANNAH PLEASEEEEEEE
Eric bragging to his friends about how loud you are in bed and how pretty you look when you’re crying from just his tongue. Literally none of them believe him, even Kenny is skeptical 💀💀
Because like, Cartman? Eric Cartman who’s not shit in bed??? Eric Cartman who’s slept with his gf??? They simply don’t believe it and it’s just him desperately trying to convince them for a sec
Harley you’re a genius. I’m sorry it took so long to get to this. But since I’m feeling extra silly let’s really talk about it
Gonna write these as headcanons but who knows, maybe I’ll write a blurb about it 🤭
Eric Cartman x Reader: Bragging to His Friends About You
Content Advisory: Smut (18+), minors DNI, aged up characters (think “college AU”)
When you and Eric first got together, everyone immediately assumed he was going to be abusive towards you the same way he was with Heidi back in the day. Miraculously this claim was proven to be false as they watched Eric treat you with actual respect, although there were some that still claimed it was “fake” or that he was just “manipulating you”. Therefore another claim was made about you and Eric…”Their sex life must be horrible!” “There’s no way she actually sleeps with him” “I bet he has a tiny dick”
Even Eric’s closest friends, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, all had their doubts about Eric’s performance in bed. They pinned him as one of those guys who brags about the size of his dick when in reality, it’s not that big. Therefore, they found it really hard to believe that Eric could actually successfully please his girlfriend in bed
Plot twist….he really does…and nobody believes it. But you on the other hand, you’ve experienced it…..
Eric was never one to coddle you in bed. He wasn’t one of those “soft and sweet” boys in the bedroom. When you guys do it, it’s rough, primal, and downright kinky. Eric was pleasantly surprised to find out that you actually enjoyed how rough he was and it only agged him on to give it to you harder. He could be kind to you of course, but when he gets you alone it’s a completely different story
He’s mean. He does one of two things while eating you out: He edges you on his tongue, or he continues to eat you out after you orgasm to overstimulate you. No matter which option he chooses, he aims to make you cry on his tongue whether it be by begging him to let you cum or begging him to stop because “it’s too much”
He would also make you ride his face as he eats you out. This way he could grip your thighs and hold you down on his face while he edges or overstimulates you to his hearts content
Eric is almost always in control and he wants you to know that. He controls your orgasms, he owns your body, he will fuck you as hard he was wants, use whatever toys he wants, and you don’t get a say in any of it. To some, this seems cruel, but to you the feeling of being utterly powerless under Eric and letting him hold all the cards is just so hot. Plus this man loves control so he thrives on making you a needy mess for him
He wants you to beg for what you want. In fact, he wants you to prove how much you want his cock by making you ride one of his dildos before giving you his cock. “Prove it. Prove to me how bad you want this cock. Go on, show me that you’re a good whore and maybe I’ll give it to you”
And when he finally fucks you he shows no mercy. He manhandles you, forcing you down into a mating press and fucking you as hard as he wants. Or, he bends you over and fucks you into the mattress while pulling on your hair, smacking your ass, or digging his nails into your skin. Even if you’ve came for him once or twice already, it’s not over until he says it is or until he gets tired
He has surprisingly good stamina though. The adrenaline rush he gets from the control he holds over you is enough motivation for him to keep going until he can’t. Once again, if he’s not making you cry, he’s far from finished
Your crying and sobbing only turns him on more. It’s the POWER he loves. Knowing he’s the one who can bring you so much pleasure that you start to cry is nearly enough to make him cum on the spot
Oh, and then there’s the name calling and the mocking. He WILL call you names, he will mock you for being a “needy little slut” for him, and he just loves it
Now imagine him sitting at lunch bragging about all of this to his friends. He doesn’t spare any details either. He tell them everything, how you cry and beg him to fuck you, how he licks the tears off your face, the marks he leaves on your ass, everything
And do his friends believe him….of course not. Because why would CARTMAN of all people actually be good at sex? Not to mention Kyle would be the one to speak up and say “You’re not supposed to hit girls or make them cry in bed”, and Kenny would chime in with, “Maybe she cries because of how bad you are”. While the table erupts with laughter, Eric goes “You guys are probably just jealous because I’ve got a hot girlfriend who lets me fuck her however I want and you assholes can’t even get a girls number”. Stan rolled his eyes, “Just keep telling yourself that dude”
Despite his desperate attempts to convince them, they simply don’t believe him and that angers him beyond belief. So just be ready to have some dark hickies all over your neck. This way, everyone will know who you belong to and who makes you feel good
Who knows. Maybe he’ll “accidentally” leave his phone lying around on record well you guys fuck. This way, he’ll have irrefutable proof that you enjoy how cruel he is to you, and that he and he alone makes you cry and cum on his cock over and over again
#eric cartman#eric cartman headcanons#eric cartman x reader#eric cartman x reader smut#cartman x reader smut#south park#south park x reader#hannah is feeling silly again
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Stan Marsh
26 y.o (He/Him)
Soul Synergy: Anything you write on your skin will appear on your soulmate.
Headcanons:
◇ Worked on his father's farm for years, while he didn't want to he stayed for his mom
◇ Shelly moved out and left South Park for a different college. The two aren't close, but they're better than when he was a kid.
◇ He works part-time at the university radio station with Jimmy.
》 Jimmy does most of the commentary, Stan will pitch it sometimes, but he leaves most of the talking to him. Stan is in charge of the music
◇ He has snuck some of Crimson Dawn on air and did the same for Timmy's band. Jimmy doesn't care, but he gives Stan a hard time about it.
◇ Going to college on a sports scholarship, to no one's surprise
》 The surprise came when he almost lost it all.
◇ He struggled heavily with alcoholism when he first moved out of his parents house
◇ Used to go out night after night, being invited to parties and hang out events
◇ It didn't seem like a problem until he woke up with vomit in his hair and had no memory of the last three days.
》 His hair used to be longer but he decided to cut it after that.
◇ It takes the other three to help snap him out of it, not just Kyle.
◇ After that he went and got help, of course the other three had his back. Kyle helped him find the support groups needed around campus. Kenny spread the word of keeping alcohol away from Stan, and Cartman enforced it.
◇ They have a system when they go to parties or out to eat with him. Kenny will give everyone the warning, do not offer him alcohol. Not as a joke, it's not funny. Wanna flirt with him, buy him something else. If you invite him to a party, have some fucking sodas or juice.
◇ Cartman is the next step if for some reason you don't decide to listen. Absolutely embarrasses the person, socially tears them apart. We all know he's very good at turning a crowd on people.
◇ Kyle is the big guns, he lives with Stan. He's his best friend. His super best friend, and he'll be damned if he lets anything happen to him. Kyle's not afraid to let the person know just how small they are and will throw hands if need be.
》 Luckily, it hasn't gotten that far. Most people stop at Cartman.
◇ Stan has worked very hard since then to keep himself clean. He's cut alcohol out completely because he knows how easy it is to slip back into it.
◇ When he feels himself slipping again or tempted, he goes to the gym. He writes a song, goes for a jog, bugs someone with board games, does literally anything to keep his mind off it.
》 His last resort is smoking a cigarette, Kyle doesn't like it, but it's better than the alternative
◇ Stan was able to keep his scholarship but it took a lot of work, and a lot of dedication.
◇ The necklace was a gift from the three boys after Stan's second year clean. They all wrote something up on each line and had Kenny carve it in.
》 Kyle: I'm proud of you man. Keep it up, or I'll kick your ass. -SB
》 Kenny: I am always a call away. I've got you Stan, I love you handsome.
》 Cartman: Don't be fucking stupid. I'm the only one who gets to ruin your life.
(Cartman took up some of Kyle's line. It makes Stan smile everytime he sees it)
◇ It's incredibly corny and off brand for him but he never takes it off, that necklace means everything to him.
◇ He's still the quarterback on the team, and the pressure sometimes gets to him.
◇ He plays basketball with Kyle sometimes, but he's not a fan of getting his ankles rolled all the time so he only does it when he needs to get Kyle to relax
◇ His depression is still there, it never really goes away, but he's got a better understanding of it
◇ Goes to a proper doctor and gets the help he needs. After a few therapist visits, he gets a prescription for it and now here he is.
◇ Since Kenny and Karen live so close Karen helps remind him to take his meds. She leaves him little snacks with every pills.
》 Skittles one day, M&Ms another, Cashews, and then a Reese's cup at the end of the week (I just like the idea of the group adopting Karen, but she adopts them back ya know?)
◇ No one else knows about this, Stan's a bit embarrassed by it but he finds it adorable that she's trying
◇ It makes him want to be better. So he works hard to keep a routine and a method.
◇ When he feels like he hates himself, he showers
◇ When he feels like he hates other people, he needs to eat
◇ When he feels withdrawal or if he's tired, he needs water.
◇ Has a special water bottle that Gary got him.
◇ Begs Kyle to go to the gym with him, he can't go alone he needs his buddy!
》 They end up making it a game. Who can push the other one to giving up.
》 Kyle does a certain number in a set, well Stan does one more. Stan runs for a certain amount of time on the treadmill, well Kyle runs faster and longer.
》 They pay for it in the morning but it's worth it
◇ Was the forever DM in his board game nights. He has all the D&D books, most of them are those special covered ones
◇ The local comic book store knows him well, and they save a book for him when they come out
◇ He still paints minis, for Christmas one year he got everyone's characters! Hand painted them and gave them out
》 He was so proud. And then Kenny lost his character the next session
》 Kenny's character is on the shelf near his books. Forever immortalized next to the players guide
◇ On days where everyone can't make it they play test a different system
◇ Wild Talents -> Superheros
◇ Deadlands -> Cowboys
◇ Traveler -> Sci-fi
◇ Red Market -> Zombie Apocalypse
◇ When Stan finally finishes his campaign and Kyle takes over, it takes him a minute to shift back into being a player! (I'm projecting)
◇ He has Wendy and Nichole over, of course! They can't make it all the time (Nichole has her own campaign that Stan's a part of and Wendy is a busy little lady), so they guest star!
◇ Gets together with Nichole and they plot ways to bully their players. (Rip Kenneth)
》 If people don't feel like playing TTRPGS he's got plenty of board games! (Honestly dude I can go on forever about this. I'm big time projecting, so I'm gonna end it here.)
◇ Stan loves his messenger bag, its got more patches in it then just the deftones on the side
◇ Collects band patches like a punk does for their jackets
◇ Anytime he goes to a local band gig he buys a patch (support local artists)
◇ Of course he has his guitar. Even if I didn't draw it!
◇ Cherry red guitar that he babies, he loves his guitar more then anything else he owns.
◇ Kyle got it for him when they both graduated high-school, it means the world to him
◇ His case for it has seen better days, most of the scratches are covered in stickers people have slapped on it.
◇ Honestly, he's got like one or two that he put on
◇ It's a game around the university: Get a Sticker on Marsh's Case
》 Craig's in the lead.
◇ Like Kyle does with Stan's inhaler. Stan carries insulin in his messenger bag for Kyle.
》 He knows Kyle doesn't pay attention to himself and lets his blood sugar drop so he also carries snacks
◇ The bright pink lighter and the lighter case was given to him by the guys, because that dummy always loses his lighter.
》 Every other day he's asking to borrow a lighter because he lost his
◇ Yet he knows where everyone of his guitar picks are, which is ridiculous
◇ Has a shit ton of them too, carries them in a little case!
◇ Stan will fist fight anyone who touches that brown journal, there's so much in there. (You know that feeling you get when someone asks to see your sketchbook? Yeah.)
◇ Lyrics for Crimson Dawn, poems that will never see the light of day, magic cards he uses as bookmarks,and campaign ideas
》 A few pages that have been ripped out and or burned out. Usually means he's had a bad day and needed to get it out
◇ The other thing he's protective of is his headphones, he's not sure why. There's nothing special about those white headphones. But they're his, and they got him through high-school.
◇ He was actually super happy about his Soul Synergy
◇ He already had a habit of doodling on his skin, so it was a surprise it manifested like this
◇ Kyle does get onto him about how often he marks on his skin. He orders Stan those Body Mark markers.
◇ When pictures or words show up on his skin it tickles, it's like he can feel the marker or pen
◇ That's the only part he hates, it tickles him and he's extremely ticklish (perish.)
◇ Doodles, lists, lyrics, and notes on things to do later. For some reason he's protective over all of them, and it makes him slightly sad when they go away.
It a few hours of sitting still, but it's finally done. Red takes a wipe and swipes it across his forearm, the moist wipe feels good against his skin. It's irritated from being poked over and over again, he can still feel the buzz of the needle.
The wipe reveals the jagged Soundwave tattoo stretching down his forearm. He smiles at it and almost goes to touch it, but stops himself. From the way his tattoo artist glares at him, he knows better.
He tries, he really does, to listen to Red as she goes through the steps on how to take care of it. But it's hard when he keeps staring at it, wondering if his little plan worked.
On the outside, it certainly seems narcissistic to get one's voice tattooed on one's self. But Stan could live with the whispers or the questions if it meant it was on the skin of his soulmate too. It wasn't anyone else's business what it was, that was between him and them.
After all Stan worked very hard to get that recording of him singing, You are my Sunshine, just right.
(Here's the blank ♡)
#south park#sp fanfiction#south park fanfiction#secret soulmate au#Stan Marsh#Soulmate au#south park fanart#drabble#headcanons#reader insert#south park x reader#x reader#soul synergy#shhh its a secret
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you're the only sp writer i request from you're literally my fav 😢😢 but can i request stan kyle and kenny with a reader who gets jealous really easily??
reader who is easily jealous
an, HI OMG THIS IS SO SWEET ILY ANON ☹️☹️🫶🫶 18-19
kyle
okay kyle didn't know you were the type to get easily jealous, i mean he js thought you didn't really care and kinda let him roll with whoever he wants but thats probably because he hangs out with girls who are in the same cliques as you so,,
it was until you literally glared at the waitress who stared at him for one too many seconds he knew, you ended up having a bad mood throughout the whole meal and eyeing the waitress "baby r you okay?" "why? if im not are you going to leave me for that stupid waitress?" "WHAT NO???"
theres always two reasons why you're so quiet on a date, kyle was too friendly with a girl or a girl was too friendly with him. you ignore him roll your eyes at him and he's just begging you to give him an ounce of attention.
if a girl likes his story you literally stalk her, her mom, her brother, her father, her boss, her colleagues everything.
you continue to ignore that girl for weeks and roll your eyes at her whenever you see her around cz why u liking my mans story? keep your likes baby
he finds it so hot tbh like omg ur this obsessive with me?? 🤭 he gets turned on by this for sure.
even though he finds it attractive and it gets him all sweaty he needs to he careful because you weren't easy to persuade once your jealous fr. once he had to get down on his knees, crying out to you to please look at him. he loves you though and he'd do it again
a thud was heard from your window, then another, and another. it was annoying you so you open your curtains to see what was causing the noise, it was your boyfriend. you opened up your window sticking out half of your body out of the window, "kyle?" you yell, "please unblock me, i dont know why she follows and likes all my post i swear" he yells back. you smile to yourself at how desperate this man is "what if i dont want to?" you put your hands in the frame of the window smiling "um,, I haven't really thought about it" "oh bye then" "wait wait!" he called out and you turn back from walking away. "I'll uh.. I'll freeze myself!" your eyes upon widen at his dumb idea "what no you idiot" he takes off his jacket, gloves and hands then put it on the ground, he then kneels clasp his hands together "please?" "omg." you rub your temples together and rush down. kyle sighs thinking you left him, looking at the ground of shame because now the neighbors think he got another girl pregnant or something. the front door open and he flung his head to its direction, you walked out with your own coat wrapping it around him "you can beg all you want but there's a way to do it without hurting yourself" "anything to make you happy" "I'm not" he chuckles as you drag him inside "don't do that again" "hmm we'll see" "kyle brofloski!" he chuckles again at you while you bring him up to your room, he really loves you.
kenny
LOVES IT SO FUCKING MYCH 😝😝😝
its like he knows you love him because you'll isolate yourself just because a girl winked at him and won't see him until he begs for forgiveness even though it aint his fault
okay that kinda sounds like a redflag,, WTV WALK HIM LIKE A DOG IG 🤭
anyways, he doesn't hate it dont care if it interferes his life. even if he has to give up everything to make you talk to him he'll do it IM NOT JOKING
he does not care, he has to block all the girls he knows? okay! never talk to any of his girl friends? yea sure! breath only your air and not lay his eyes on a single woman except you only? anything you want babe ☺️
ALSO GETS HARD FOR THIS PLEASE. i js know he's turned on after you get visually jealous.
"please baby look at me" he pulls your arm for you to stop your tracks from going into your room "shut up, maybe you should go to that hoe who waved at you, why did she wink?? did you two used to have something??" you pull back your arm and go up the stairs with kenny following in suit. arriving infront of your bedroom kenny pulled your arm again and when you turned he immediately fall to his knees "please, i dont know her" he hold your palm with both hands, glossy eyed "i,, kenny" "please?" tilting his head to the side, he'll sit there for hours if he has to. "get up mccormick, im sorry i overreacted" he got up so quickly then hugged you, his head falling on your shoulder "loveyou" his breath on your shoulder, you smile "love you too"
stan
i think he has a love hate relationship with your jealousy, like on one hand he knows you love him and would literally kill anyone for him but on the other... its kinda tiring to beg to you
i mean he doesn't care going on his knees, and crawling all fours for you but at times he just can't deal with it yk??
but he mostly loves it obvi, the way your eyes stay focus on the girl that was 'hitting' on him or the way you sulk and won't tell him why even though its obvious it's bc your jealous, its all so cute to him. and he loves this side of your jealousy, just couples being couple
other times though.. you'd block gim everywhere and won't unblock him until the next day when you reflect on your stupid decisions. or when you ignore him at school or not even make eyecontact with him, he hates and loves it.
you had another quarrel with stan again, this fight was because he still comments '☺️' under Wendy's post of herself, it was valid true but you still thought you overreacted. sitting on your bed with your arms cross and tears almost falling down at the thought of Stan going back to wendy broke your heart. ding a notification popped up and you pick up your phone hoping it was stan despite you blocking him everywhere, it was your friend "um, whats up with stan?" she texted you "wdym" your eyebrows furrow together, you immediately unblock him on Instagram and to your surprise his profile picture was you, his stories had 8 pictures of you with cute songs behind it. he had posted 2 picture of you two on his feed one captioning "traveling the moon and back to find good internet to see if her blocking me was a mistake or im a mistake". his bio was now "tell her to unblock me ☹️". you smile at this and your cheeks turned a pink tint. you unblocked him on every platform and it seems he had changed his profile picture to you on every single one. "." "BABE YOU UNBLOCKED ME" "i mean yeah i have to especially since i have 5 people texting me about your profile" "just wanted to show my girlfriend love" "whatever" a knock was heard on your door, then a chat from stan "open up i brought food and wine" you smile and blush to yourself as your rush down to open the door. he was the sweetest
#south park#south park x y/n#south park x you#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#south park x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh
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I would like to request a Elf King!Kyle x Human!Princess!Reader. Reader is Cartman's sister and forbids Kyle from liking her.
Thank you <33
Those are super cute Tbh
I have so many Elf King Kyle x human princess reader requests I decided I’d do one post about it
It’s probably gonna take me a sec to write it but I will gladly <333
Elf King Kyle x Human Princess Reader
• When Elf King Kyle saw you, mans was HEAD OVER HEELS, it was love at first sight and he doesn’t even really believe in that
• When you guys first met on business for a peace treaty between the elves and the humans y'all ended up getting distracted and becoming friends
• He really tried being intimidated but it didn't work at all considering his face was a shade of red and he was sweating the whole time. I mean you were in a similar state so it wasn't as bad for Kyle as it probably would've been
• After a while of talking he found out that honestly, you were only on Cartmans side because he was your brother. And even you had to admit, the man was an annoying shit that sometimes you couldn't deal with
• Y'all ended up bonding over your similar feelings towards your brother
• Ofc your meeting ended up being cut short when your brother kept sending messenger after messenger to come get you because he was bored of waiting for you
• When you got back and he heard from his messengers you best believe he started gagging and said that he'd handle the affairs with the elf kingdom now. He can't have his sister having a crush on Kyle!! That's soooooo gross
• He definitely told Kyle that he's forbidden to see the human princess (you) and that it's not allowed for anyone to have crushes on you because he has the stick of truth and its super weird for him. Why it's weird for him specifically no one will ever know
• Obviously that didn't stop Kyle, why would he listen to him?? It's Cartman after all
• This started secret meetings between you guys, it honestly wasn't that hard to sneak out considering your brother snores like a fucking leaf blower
• The elves caught wind of this because duh, it's their kingdom they should know what's happening in it
• So one night before you left the elf kingdom after one of you and Kyle's secret meetings, some elves kidnapped you
• They didn't hurt you in any way it was almost kinda funny because of how bad of a job they did. They tried blindfolding you... but used really really thin fabric you could see out of
• Anyways, for the most part they just questioned you a lot. They kept asking if you had a crush on the king and in general, were shipping you guys
• To be honest, the elves loved you and just wanted a chance to talk to you. At some point they untied you and took off the blindfold so you guys just had a normal conversation
• They really wanted to get to know the girl that their king was so smitten with, that he would talk about her any and EVERY chance he got
• Cartman was definitely pissed when you got home, how he knew you were gone was beyond you. He kept grumbling about how you "smelled of stupid elves" which was really weird
• Yeah no, turns out he just got one of the humans to spy on you and tell him what they saw. Gee, thanks man :rolling eyes:
• Anyways, the secret meetings continued because who the hell was gonna stop you? Definitely not your brother, and y'alls mom thought it was cute so she wasn't gonna try either
• Soon enough, the meetings started turning into unspoken dates before you guys eventually made it official
• Both of you were so obvious it was almost stupid how neither of y'all realized until your individual knights told you
• Stan is definitely Kyle's wing man, no doubt
• Butters and Kenny are probably yours, which is utter chaos but that's for another time
• Honestly, your brother wasn't happy about this but the elves would totally beat his ass for you so he wasn't gonna say anything about it for once
• Kyle (not so) jokingly calls you his elf queen and it's super sweet
My lil Cartman shimeji was staring at me as I wrote this, he's so dang cute <3333
anyways ignore spelling mistakes, shhhh they are not thereeee
#h harleybaby needs help#harley’s anons <33#south park x reader#south park x reader headcanons#south park x y/n#kyle broflovski x y/n#kyle x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#elf king kyle broflovski x reader#stick of truth x reader#harley’s requests!
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Omg I would kill for you to write Craig for your camping headcanons I love your writing sm 😭💗
This was my most requested headcanons yet! Hope I delivered for you guys <3
(Yes, ik its been a month im sorry i disappear sometimes)
♥Camping with Friends w/ Tweek & Craig♥
✢ summary: headcanons on going on a camping trip with your huge friend group plus your bf's Tweek and Craig
✢ gender: reader is implied to be female <3
✢ warnings: nsfw, mentions of drugs and alcohol
✢ note: characters are all 21+, Hey guys, I know it's not the family camping hc's ya'll are used to but I wanted to make it fun and include a huge friend group instead. Also this is a really long list of HCs that I've been working on for a while. So, sorry that it kind of ends on a cliffhanger. If you guys want more, I'm happy to add onto it or make a second parter in the future!!
Tweek and Craig HCs
𝒮𝐹𝒲
Originally Craig didn't want to go to the camping trip because he'd rather be at home, but when he heard how enthusiastic you were he decided to go anyways.
Tweek was nervous to go because he feared the outdoors, but decided to tough it out for you and Craig.
Craig packed very lightly, he doesn't own that many outfits anyways.
Tweek overpacked, his bag was filled to the brim with gear such as a crap ton of sunscreen, bug spray, bear spray, and other random things because 'what if".
You and Craig's crew rode in Tolkien's van to get to the camping grounds.
It was a three hour drive, so you spent it chatting with the boys on the way there.
Jimmy spent the drive cracking jokes in the passenger seat, making all of you groan from time to time.
Clyde was in the very back seat, squished by the cargo the van was holding.
You all exchanged ideas of how the camping trip will go, planning possible activities for everyone to participate in.
Craig fell asleep on you because he was bored by small talk.
Once you got to the campsite you met up with the other groups.
Of course, Wendy's group of girls were already there before you arrived.
"See Wendy, I told you there was no point in leaving early! Y/N and all of them just got here and Stan's no where to be seen!" Bebe complained.
You and Tweek got to unpacking Tolkien's van while Craig sleepily set up a spot for your guys' tent.
After an hour of setting up and unpacking, Stan's truck pulls up to the site.
"See this is why we shouldn't leave Cartman in charge of the directions! We got lost like eight times!" Kyle complained out loud as soon as they got out.
"Shut the fuck up Kyle! It's your fault, I was distracted by your shit fucking music taste! Blame Stan for giving you aux!" Cartman yelled back, slamming the truck door closed.
You and Clyde held back laughter from watching them fight, as well as watching Wendy scold Stan.
After another hour, everyone's stuff was set up as well as your makeshift kitchen/hangout area.
Your tent was labelled to fit up to five people, but it felt a little cramped from the air mattresses you put in there.
It didn't help that Craig was really tall and took up a lot of space.
Stan told everyone that he needed to stop by the nearest supermarket to pick up last minute snacks and buy more ice for the coolers.
Wendy by default was tagging along, but Tolkien as well as Craig wanted to go with.
You didn't want to be left out so you went along too.
Tweek stayed behind because he 'doesn't trust Stan's driving, neither his old ass truck'.
When you got to the supermarket you and Craig looked for your favorite snacks, while Tolkien and Stan bought several pounds of ice.
You and Craig came across pool floaties and decided to buy a few for Tweek, since you both knew he'd be anxious swimming in the lake.
On the drive back from the market Craig leaned on your head and whispered that he loves you.
He has his random moments of sappiness.
When you got back it was already dark, so Kenny started up the campfire so that you guys could cook dinner.
You and the girls pitched in to help cook, since you knew better than to trust the boys to cook.
You loaded two plates full of food for your boyfriends.
When you handed it to them they both lovingly smiled at you.
Even Craig, who normally holds a blank expression.
Tweek went on to compliment your cooking nonstop, while Craig just nodded while eating.
Eventually, Craig was tired of Tweek talking too much and hushed him by lifting his fork up to Tweek's mouth.
Tweek took it as a sign to just eat and smiles out of embarrassment.
After dinner you and Wendy's group chat and catch up on each others' lives and drama.
While you girls are off to the side chatting and gossiping, you look at your two lovers laughing and goofing around with the other boys on the other side of camp.
You smile and think about how your boyfriends are also enjoying themselves.
You head to bed with Tweek around midnight, since you were both tired as fuck.
Since Craig is a total night owl, he stayed up a little longer with Kenny, Kyle, and Clyde. (Stan wanted to join too but Wendy made him go to bed with her)
You could sort of make out what they were talking about since they were talking softly, trying not to disturb the others' sleep.
Oddly, they were talking about the meaning of life and some other philosophical shit.
You rolled your eyes, knowing they probably got into Kenny's stash of edibles after dinner.
You peacefully drift off to sleep on top of Tweek's softly breathing chest.
"We were so fucking lucky to meet Y/N." You hear Craig say before losing consciousness.
When you awake in the morning, Craig has you both wrapped in his arms.
You give the two boys a kiss on the forehead and get up to get ready for the day.
You help Wendy, Heidi, and Nicole start breakfast, since you guys planned to go swimming in the lake today everyone needed a big breakfast.
Bebe and Rebecca came back from the bathrooms after doing their 1000 step skincare routine to also 'pitch in'.
But really they just sat on their phones waiting for you guys to finish.
The guys start to slowly wake up, starting with Kyle and Butters.
The last to wake up was of course your sleepy boyfriends.
Tweek was practically dragging Craig out of the tent, Craig was definitely last to go to bed.
"Ack- Craig we gotta get up or we'll miss breakfast!" Tweek says frantically pulling Craig's arm.
"Calm down babe, Y/N will save us a plate" Craig says before yawning.
You were a little irritated that Craig just assumed you would enable his laziness.
You totally did save a plate for the two, though.
Tweek urged you to eat more since he's always worried about you.
Craig was still completely out of it, he ate his breakfast like a zombie.
Since Tweek goes nowhere without his parent's special coffee blend, he made a huge pot for everyone to share.
He gave a cup to Craig to hopefully revive him.
After everyone was full and recharged, Wendy told everyone to get ready to go to the lake.
You helped your boyfriends put on sunscreen, since Tweek burns easily and Craig wont put on any.
"Babe, I love you but I hate the way sunscreen feels on my skin." Craig said lazily putting his arms up for you.
"Well, you'll hate the feeling of skin cancer more!" You said rubbing it on his arms.
After helping Tweek apply sunscreen, Tweek offers to help you too.
You accept and let Tweek lovingly, albeit very messily apply the lotion to your skin.
When you get to the beach, you help the girls lay out chairs and towels to set up your guys' spot.
Craig helps blow up a bunch of floaties for everyone to use (mostly Tweek).
Craig tethers Tweek's floatie to the cooler that Tolkien brought so that there is no possible way Tweek will float away.
Tweek chills in his donut style floatie while everyone starts to get into the water.
You cling to Craig because that water is mfkin cold as shit.
Tweek floats over you to ask if you're okay.
Before you could respond, Cartman cannonballs into the lake splashing everyone in the process.
Wendy gets mad and starts to yell at him for getting her hair wet as well as Kyle just yelling at him because that's what he does best.
Cartman just splashes Kyle more and starts an all out water war.
No one is safe from the splashing.
At some point you get on Craig's shoulders and battle Bebe and Clyde in a chicken fight.
You and Craig of course win.
The entire time Jimmy, Butters, and Tweek were just floating and watching the whole thing go down from a safe distance.
𝓝𝓢𝓕𝓦
The trip started off very wholesome and sweet at the beginning, but soon turned really dirty for the three of you.
The two boys loved to fight over you and make everything into a competition.
When you were busy chatting with the girls, Tweek and Craig made a bet over who could make you cum the most during the trip.
Tweek took advantage of the time he had alone with you the first night you guys were there.
Since Craig was preoccupied on getting high with Kenny and chatting, Tweek made his first move on you.
Perhaps, Tweek was a genius mastermind and convinced Kenny to distract Craig for a few hours. (Kenny's a real bro and agreed to)
You were all comfy and getting ready to sleep with Tweek when he started to kiss your neck, making you giggle from the sensation.
The kisses started to turn from cute to playful, to light nibbles.
His nips at your flesh made you cover your mouth and moan quietly.
He lifted up from your neck and looked into your eyes, basically making sure you were okay with him going on.
You nodded and smiled a little from his precious worried expression.
He then lifted your shirt up and gazed at your exposed chest in awe, taking in your gorgeous form.
Tweek lowered himself once again and started to suck and nip at your breasts.
This earned a couple of stifled moans from you as you gripped at the sleeping bag beneath you.
Tweek took his right hand and slid them between your legs, which you were unknowingly pressing together.
He parted them slightly and used two fingers to rub circles on your clit through your panties.
You arched your back and held back some more moans, hearing some of the boys outside of the tent still chatting around the campfire.
You couldn't take anymore of the teasing so you started to ask Tweek to keep going.
"Please Tweek, m-more" you asked in a whiny, hushed voice.
"Okay" Tweek said whispering back in a raspy tone.
Tweek slipped your panties off of one leg and inserted his fingers inside of you.
You were so needy and wet, Tweek had to be careful not to make unintentional lewd sounds while fingering you.
You clutched onto his shoulders and breathed heavily as he curled his fingers into that special spot that makes you throw your head back in pleasure.
You needed more of him, so you wrapped your legs around him and begged for Tweek to fuck you.
Tweek thought you'd never ask.
He nervously smiled and pulls his pajama pants down, letting you guide him.
You pulled his dick out of his underwear and gave it a few pumps, which got a small whimper out of him.
You aligned him with your needy little hole and let him slowly push into you.
He let you adjust to his size, aka you dug your fingernails into his back while crying and whining into his shoulder.
After giving you a kiss on your forehead he started thrusting into you, being careful not to cause the tent to move too much.
You used all of your might to not moan out loud from the pleasure.
Tweek has the tendency to twitch a lot, but it increases tenfold when he's fucking you.
You just feel so fucking good, he can't help but jerk a little when he thrusts into you.
He takes you into his arms and pounds you into the air mattress, while you sob into his chest from the overwhelming pleasure.
Tweek couldn't exactly hold back his erratic thrusts which may have been slightly audible from outside the tent.
Kenny definitely knew what was up, but everyone else was too high or drunk to notice.
Tweek still was on a mission to get you to cum as much as possible, so he returned to rubbing your clit while he thrusted into you.
It was enough to send you over the edge.
You came hard while he was still inside of you, which almost made him cum too.
But he pushed past it to get you to cum some more.
He continued overstimulating you, causing you to cum another two times.
He couldn't hold back any longer and pulled out with your last orgasm, releasing his warm, sticky fluids all over your tummy.
After you both calmed down he cleaned you up with a wet wipe.
He helped you get dressed and laid down next to you. Adjusting himself so that you could lay on his chest.
While you drifted off to sleep, Tweek took a marker and wrote three tally marks on his left palm to let Craig know about his progress.
When Craig enters the tent an hour later, he sees the two of you cuddling sweetly, fast asleep.
At first Craig smiled and thought it was sweet until he saw the marks all over your collarbone and neck, as well as the tally marks on Tweek's exposed palm.
Craig clicked his tongue and glared at you guys, taking this as a declaration of war between him and Tweek.
He nestled himself on the other side of you and took you both into his arms, while plotting how he was going to rail you tomorrow.
You and Tweek were oblivious to the evil plans Craig was cooking up throughout the day.
His plans all paid off when Tweek fell asleep on one of the beach chairs after getting out of the water to dry off.
Craig swiftly loosened your string bathing suit while you weren't paying attention.
You felt it start to slip and panicked, telling Craig to grab a towel and help you to the bathroom.
He gladly accompanied you to the bathroom to help you 'fix' your bathing suit.
You turned around in the bathroom stall expecting him to help you tie it.
When he didn't budge, you turned around wondering what he was doing.
He just stood there, tall and intimidating, his usual blank expression turned into a bit of a smirk.
"W-What..?" You asked holding your top up with your arms.
"What do you mean what? I know you and Tweek has fun without me last night." Craig said walking towards you.
"Oh that- I'm sorry we should've told you earlier" You said giving Craig an innocent look.
"Nah, that's not the issue I have." He said pushing you into the wall, arm pressed above your head.
He looked down on you and moved your arm from holding up your top with his free hand.
"Just mad I wasn't apart of it, is all." He said grabbing your jaw with the same hand.
Your face became flushed as your bathing suit was barely hanging on to your body.
"Well then how do I make it up to you?" You said looking up at him, slightly pouting.
"You get on your knees, princess." Craig said smiling.
You immediately sink to your knees understanding what he wanted.
You were more than willing to do whatever he wanted because seeing him shirtless made you feral to begin with.
You slid his swim trunks down, enough for his dick to spring out of them.
He watched you attentively, taking in the sight of you kneeling beneath his cock.
You stroked him a couple of times before taking the tip into your mouth.
You slowly took him into your mouth, causing him to grunt from the feeling of your warm, wet tongue glide against him.
Craig took the opportunity to grab your hair and help you go at a pace he wanted.
The pace being a lot quicker than you were expecting so soon.
You choked a bit, trying to keep up with Craig's thrusts.
"Fuuck, your throat feels so good babe" Craig moaned out while tilting his head back.
Craig pulled out of your mouth to give you a second to breathe.
You gasped for air as tears started to stain your cheeks.
Craig then knelt down to help you up, which confused you for a second.
"Oh I'm just getting started sweetie" He said turning you around to face the wall.
You hold onto the wall as he moves your hips to align with his.
You let out a whimper as he enters your needy pussy, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips.
"Fuck, I forget how tight you are" Craig groaned out.
You moan out loud as he fully sinks into you, feeling his dick hit that same sweet spot that Tweek had hit with his fingers the night before.
Craig could tell he hit the right spot from the sounds you let out and pulled himself out slightly, making you whine from how slow his thrusts were.
That was when he slammed right back into you, causing you to yelp from the surprise.
"Keep making those cute noises" he said starting to thrust faster.
Your moans and whimpers echoed throughout the bathroom as Craig pounded you mercilessly, causing your legs to give out beneath you.
He held you your hips up and watched as your body started to sink from the stimulation.
Craig was determined to get you to cum, so he drilled into your sweet spot until you clenched around him and reached your climax.
You scream out his name as Craig didn't slow down or pause for you to come down from your high.
He wanted to punish you for letting Tweek fuck you first.
You were too cock drunk to put two and two together, that both Tweek and Craig were overstimulating you a lot.
After you came for the third time, Craig was desperately holding out to beat Tweek, but he soon reached his limit.
Craig quickly ordered you to get on your knees again.
"Shit, be a good girl and swallow all of it" Craig said holding your hair with one hand and jerking off with the other.
You open your mouth in anticipation as he curses under his breath.
He quickly shoves himself back into your mouth and cums down your throat, making you choke a little.
You swallow everything like he asked.
Craig comes down from his own high and quickly remembered he failed to beat Tweek.
"Fuck" He said putting his shorts back on.
"What?" You asked as he helped you off of your knees.
"Nothing, lets go back and join the others. Don't wanna keep 'em waiting." Craig said with a slight laugh.
"Oh shit you're right!" You said realizing how longs its been.
Little did you know, this was only the beginning of your week long trip.
#south park fanfiction#south park x reader#south park hcs#south park smut#south park#craig x tweek x reader#craig tucker x reader#tweek tweak x reader
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Do you have any headcanons 4 cartman's pets? :3
Oh I absolutely do!! :D (very very long)
(CW mentions of pet death/loss)
Cartman got Mr.Kitty as a pet when he saw her outside at 4 years old. He chased the cat and physically dragged her inside, which prompted her to freak out in the house. Then Cartman fed her cake and begged pretty please with a cherry on top to keep the kitty. Liane has no choice in the matter really so of course they kept the cat. They didn't give her shots or neuter her, they just gave her a bath and fed her cat food and called it a day.
Cartman got Fluffy from the County Fair from winning a pie eating contest. Liane was shocked to see Cartman with yet another animal he wanted to keep. And she can't say no, so Fluffy came home with them. Funny enough she was actually easier to take care of than the cat. They usually fed her scraps. She had a pretty good diet of food that Cartman was supposed to eat but he gave it to her and pretended to eat his veggies so he could have dessert please. He taught Fluffy a couple of tricks like spinning and sitting on command. He even claimed he was gonna take her to the fair just like Wilbur in that Charlottes Web movie. Fun fact for years Cartman was convinced Wilbur was a girl and hated when people corrected him because he's used to thinking about the character a certain way and didn't feel like changing how he watched it.
He loved fluffy to bits but she died due to hereditary health problems. Instead of telling Cartman the piggy was dead she just fell in love with a daddy pig and ran away with him to have sex and babies. Cartman resents Fluffy for being such a whore and leaving him behind. He still cried in bed about it for a couple nights though.
Once Cartman tried to keep a pet frog. On wet mornings when frogs huddled around all the puddles, he and the other 3 tried to catch frogs. All of the frogs they caught always went missing every time they tried, so eventually they just gave up and moved onto something else.
Once Gerald snatched up Mr.Kitty and took her away by force while Cartman was screaming and crying at him to let her go. Later he claimed she wasn't vaccinated so she was dangerous to be around Cartman, but he was also using her for cheesing. Later Kyle helped Cartman steal his cat back and Liane promised they would give the cats shots and gave her neutered. After that Gerald left their cat alone.
When they got Mr.Kitty neutered they discovered that she's is actually intersex. Cartman was extremely extremely happy to have a pet who's just like him. Well not exactly like him but still.
For years he depended on Mr.Kitty to get him through his audio hallucinations and grounding himself. If she didn't wake up then no one is at the door trying to harm him and it's just his head being weird. Petting her is very therapeutic for him and calms him down when he's experiencing big scary emotions. He also liked letting her in his bed so she can be there if he gets a nightmare.
During middle school his cat went missing and he was extremely upset about it. He kept accusing that his girlfriend Heidi is responsible for the cat going missing. The longer she was missing the more he accused Heidi of lying to him, hurting his cat because she resents him and she's an awful person. For two whole weeks Butters helped Cartman search for his cat. His friends also helped but Butters helped the most. One night while he was driving home without Mr.Kitty yet again and realized he's never going to see his cat ever again. He broke into tears while Butters and Stan comforted him. Later Heidi finds him grieving his cat and she tells him he forgives him for getting upset at her and understands he was just stressed and didn't mean it. Cartman didn't apologize at all and let her hug and console him.
After that Cartman didn't own a pet for several several years. When he was in his late 40s and the most depressed he had ever been in his life, his therapist suggested owning a cat to give him a routine to have and help him cope with loneliness. So he adopted a cat and it worked. After awhile he ended up with 9 cats in his house, but then he got his shit together and gave away the ones that had bad relationships with the other cats or didn't enjoy being in his house. Then he was left with four cats. Which was a pretty big improvement but still makes normal people gawk at him. And he kept those cats for a long long time. I haven't thought much about the other three, but I know one of the cats is a three legged cat named Zipper. He was born like that. He's the fastest of the four cats and the most friendly one.
After Cartman passed away from cancer in his early 60s Kyle and Stan the two cats Cartman still had. The cats where very comforting for Kyle since he had a harder time coping with his the loss.
And not a pet headcannon technically but Kyle had a habit of putting cat food and cat nip near Cartman's gave to "keep him company." People give Kyle weird looks when he brings cat food to a graveyard but it makes him happy so he doesn't care.
#south park#south park headcanons#eric cartman#liane cartman#kyle broflovski#heidi turner#butters stotch#stan marsh#styleman#kyman
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Sleepover || Kyle Broflovski x Reader (2)
NOTE: characters are aged up to high school in this!!
Part 3
summary: you only intended to stay for a little bit and study with kyle in order to make it in time to wendy's sleepover, but you simply lost track of time
Kyle felt like he was short-circuiting. From his newfound confidence to the grateful hug you gave him, he just can't believe that really happened.
On the way to his next class, he opened the piece of paper to discover it read "text me" followed by your phone number.
"Fuck yeah!" He yelled out of excitement, not even caring about the weird stares he received.
"Dude, what happened?" Stan's voice called out from behind him. Kyle was too excited to say anything so he simply shoved the little note in his face as he slightly bounced on his feet. "Oh my god. You did it."
"I know!"
"You crazy son of a bitch." Stan was happy for his best friend, despite the lack of enthusiasm in his tone. "You actually got her number."
"I know!" Kyle repeated, practically grinning from ear to ear. "I still need to add it to my contacts."
The boys sat down in their usual seats next to each other while Kyle was hyperfixated on his phone and making sure he typed in the right number.
"What's up with him?"
"Is he okay?"
"Why is he staring at his phone?"
Many classmates were concerned for Kyle as they all noticed he was more jittery and excitable than usual, but the class itself felt like it was going too slow.
Halfway through, his phone buzzed.
"Mr. Broflovski, turn your phone on silent." The strict teacher snapped.
"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to leave the notifications on." Yes he did.
"Whatever." The teacher turned back to his computer to do more boring work, while Kyle saw this as an opportunity to check the notification.
It was you!
"i forgot to ask, which house are we studying at?"
"mine? my little brother has swimming lessons n my parents are both at work"
"sure :)"
He stared at your last message, immediately imagining the smile that made him feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside.
This was going to be the longest lesson ever.
When the bell rang, he dashed out of his seat so he could be the first one out the school. Obviously, he wasn't. But it's the thought that counts.
You texted him saying you were on your way out, and his heart started pounding in his chest. He pretended to look busy on his phone in case you got weirded out that he was staring from afar.
"Kyle!" You called. He looked up as if he didn't know you were already outside, trying to play it cool.
"Y/N!" He smiled widely back. So much for playing it cool. "Shall we?" He motioned his hand in another direction, the path towards his home.
The two of you were walking in silence, not an awkward one as there was no tension, it was more apprehension. You always wondered what his home looked like, and more specifically, what his bedroom looked like. Is it messy? Or tidy? Does he collect and hoard things? Or did he take the minimalistic approach?
So many questions yet to be answered.
Thankfully, the walk wasn't long. Although, Kyle did take you down the longest path in hopes of spending more time with you.
"Welcome to the Broflovski residence, Miss L/N." He bowed as he opened the door and held it open. "Ladies first."
"Why thank you, Mr. Broflovski." You stepped forward into the surprisingly large house this boy called home.
A stupid grin grew wider on your face because seeing him slowly become his nerdy self around you was heart-warming.
You remember watching him from afar, playing with his friends in whatever imaginary game they could think of. How you wanted to join in so badly. Instead, you wasted your time making meaningless lists with the girls.
"We can go up to my room," Kyle stated, bringing you back to the present. Only to realise what he just said. You didn't say anything and simply raised your eyebrow at him.
When he heard no vocal response he turned around, your facial expression only making him more confused.
"What?"
"Your room, huh?" You couldn't stop the smirk on your lips the same way he couldn't stop his cheeks getting redder and hotter.
"Don't make it weird, dude!"
"Relax, I'm joking."
"H-here, I'll show you up." He hastily made his way up the stairs, signalling for you to follow him.
"What a gentleman," you snickered.
Kyle jokingly groaned in response, which only made you laugh more, but on the inside there were fireworks exploding in his chest. Even the sound of your laughter made him weak in the knees.
Awkwardly, he showed you his room and you pointed out all the photos of him in different situations and with family members or close friends.
"Anyways, I'm gonna go grab us some drinks and snacks then we can get started. Does that sound good with you?" He looked at you for confirmation.
"Yeah, of course!" You beamed that infamous smile of yours, the smile that he just couldn't get enough of.
The next couple of hours went surprisingly quickly thanks to Kyle's intelligence and your perseverance.
Currently, you were both studying independently when a scoff from you broke the silence. Kyle looked up at you slowly, appreciating the moment before you looked at him, as it gave him time to admire your face close up for once.
"These textbook jokes are so stupid," you snorted.
He gestured towards the book, so you turned it around so he could read it. You watched as his eyes scanned the page before his face creased out of second-hand embarrassment for whoever wrote that.
"Oh god."
"I know, right?"
"Who would even find that funny?"
"Probably a try-hard with straight As."
"Probably," he shook his head. He looked back up at you to see your eyes wandering aimlessly around his room. "We should take a break. My hand hurts from this stupid ass book."
"Agreed." You stood up to stretch in front of the window, and that's when you noticed something in the garden.
"Kyle!"
"I'm right here you don't need to yell." The sudden exclamation of his name startled him. "What is it?"
"You have a treehouse?" You pointed outside, marvelling at the mighty fortress that still stood after all these years.
"Yeah?" He stood up and walked over to then follow your finger to where you were pointing. "Why?" He asked as he looked down at you. You were pulling the best doe eyes you could, and Kyle thought he was going to have a heart attack due to how cute you are.
"Do you want to go in it?" He asked, trying so hard to act as if he doesn't want to just kiss you right here right now.
"Can we?" You continued to stare at him.
"What's the magic word?" He decided to tease you as a way of trying to make it even for the teasing he endured earlier.
"Please, Kyle." You clasped your hands together to commit. "Can we please go in your treehouse, Kyle?"
The way you said his name was music to his ears, and it really got his imagination going. It wasn't just his face that had more blood flowing in it than usual.
"Begging, are we?"
He doesn't know where this surge of confidence came from, but seeing you plead for something was so cute yet so hot.
"If that's what it takes," you said, exasperated, and got closer to him. Your faces were inches apart. Both of you were internally freaking out.
He waited a couple seconds, just to savour this moment, before responding.
"Alright, I can't say no when you make that face." He rolled his eyes jokingly before leading the way again.
"I'll keep that in mind." You grinned to yourself.
"I shouldn't have said that."
"It's too late now, Kyle."
"Oh, great."
He knew he wasn't really complaining, if anything he'd love an excuse to just stare into your eyes. Especially if you say his name the same way you just did all the time.
What's going to happen in the treehouse?
----
note: I'll write part 3 ASAP. this was only meant to be a 2 part story, but I got carried away in both 😭 the wattpad author I used to be is still me ig
currently writing from my break at work, hope you guys enjoyed!!
taglist: @weridpersonhelp
#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski#south park#south park x y/n#south park fanfiction#fluff#eric cartman#stan marsh#kenny mccormick#sleepover ♡
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Kyle w fake s/o that has a crush on him (?)
The only reason Kyle did this was to get his parents off of his back
They were worried and thinks that Kyle might be gay because for the whole high school Kyle never brought at least one girl back to their house (not that they actually cared though)
Although Kyle was not having it, he wasn’t gay (mhm sure) and thought of just asking for ur favor to fake date him until the summer ends so that his parents would get off his back.
It goes a bit like this:
“Hey– Y/n I have a favor to ask you” “can we.. like– be girlfriend and boyfriend but fake? Like you get what I mean, you read books–” “but if you don’t I mean like we fake date like we do couple things but just for public well for my parents because they’ve been on my back ever since the fucking summer started, they’ve been hinting to me that it’s okay if I came out to them as gay” he rambled on and on, explaining the pickle he was on
“Alright– I get it, Kyle”
“Oh yeah, right sorry”
You two set like typical house rules for it, 1. No one can know, even best friends. 2. No touching allowed unless it’s consented. (of course my man Ky is a gentleman) 3. No falling in love with each other.
“Does the last one even matter?”
“I think–” you lied, (it didn’t matter but somehow most books you read had that rule but ended up falling for one another and you like Kyle so– it must be a spell that should be added right?)
You ended up putting a fake relationship in front of everybody, including your friends and parents.
Stendy probably invited you to a double date or two, Stan suspects that two of you were pretending to be bf and gf but Kyle debunked his suspicions when he kissed you in front of Stan, you were shocked but kissed back. Let’s just say that the car ride back to your house was awkward, something like:
“We’re here”
“A-ah.. thanks, I.. I enjoyed today” you mumbled, taking off your seatbelt.
He just nodded, never letting his eyes away from the wheels because he was too nervous and embarrassed with what he did.
He probably took you out on a date or two, on those dates he was given some money from his parents that he used to pay for his and your meals. (let’s js say you don’t have to spend any money when ur with him)
Honestly, Gerald and Sheila was your fan, they loved, adored you so much, they were so thankful that you’re Kyle’s girlfriend. They probably laughed around with you as they told stories about how they were thinking was gay and all, Kyle would probably redden from their embarrassing stories and would shout, “MOM! DAD!” when he thinks they’ve told too much lmao.
At school, he waits for you to finish your classes because he drives you to school and back.
Kyle invites you to study dates in his house but mostly because Sheila always wants to see you, (little did you know Kyle liked seeing you too) sometimes that study date ends with you staying in their house– you insist not to but Sheila and Gerald always find a way for you to stay.
You staying at Kyle’s house always ends up with you sleeping on the bed and Kyle on the floor, Kyle probably thinks that it’s too embarrassing to let you sleep on the floor so he volunteers. But when you said that it’s okay for him to sleep next to you he blushes and rambles on about not wanting to make you uncomfortable and stuff, it took you a while of convincing when he finally slept next to you.
The next day was a pain honestly lmao, his arm was wrapped around you, he basically fell off the bed when he realized he hugged you in his sleep. Maybe a bit like:
Kyle grumbled in his sleep, the sun hit his eyes as he slowly opened his eyes. His gaze landed onto your sleeping body and his arm that was wrapped around your waist, his eyes widened as he gasped, backing away from you as he fell down to the floor. The loud crash made you wake up, you rubbed your eyes as you looked over Kyle who was breathless and rattled, "What's wrong..?" you mumbled, "N-nothing.. I just fell off" He stuttered.
lol Idk, I find it funny when things like that happen.
I can't think of anything anymore honestly, my brain is fried and this is just a worthless attempt to do head canons because I seems to can't write some.
#south park#south park x reader#south park x y/n#south park x you#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle x reader#sp kyle x reader#sp kyle#i dont like this#headcanons#kyle hcs#i need therapy#i need kyle plushie#i dont trust myself
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How do you think other characters would react if they found out about Kenny’s immortality? I kinda go back and forth on this. I have many different ideas on how they’d react depending on how I’m feeling or information I have or w/e. I’m not sure how they would react canonically but I have some of my own ideas. (Ideas listed under the cut.)
Kyle: Given that he was the only one to give him the benefit of the doubt when Kenny mentioned it in “Coon Vs Coon and Friends.” (“Ok, let’s say you’re not crazy and it’s true.”) He would be one of the best at handling it. He does still think it’s kinda cool, but he knows better now than to tell Kenny that. He’s the one who asks him the most questions. (Like, “What’s it like to die? What’s the afterlife like? Do you think you’ll live forever?, etc.) He does feel kinda guilty for not knowing/believing him earlier, thinking he’s a bad friend. He enters big brother protection mode (previously reserved for Ike) around Kenny afterwards to try and keep him from dying so much. Kenny cycles back and forth between being flattered and annoyed about this. He also becomes determined to break Kenny’s curse, researching everything he can about the cult of cthulhu and immortality. The guy has a full on conspiracy board about this within a week.
Cartman: I know a lot of people have the theory that he already knows, it’s a solid theory that holds up logically but I don’t personally believe it because Cartman would absolutely take advantage of Kenny’s little power for his own gain. Anyone else who finds out about it tries to keep it from Cartman for this very reason.
Butters: Butters is a sweetheart so he apologizes profusely and gives Kenny a hug when he finds out. He also hugs Kenny whenever he comes back from a death and tries to comfort him, with varying degrees of success. I also feel like Butters would just believe him without any proof. Given how many of Cartman’s schemes he’s fallen for over the years I think it’s safe to say that he’s pretty gullible. He will believe pretty much anything you tell him. It’s just in this case it happens to be true.
Tweek: I saw a headcanon on here that Tweek would also believe Kenny because, thanks to the Underpants Gnomes, he knows how frustrating it is not to be believed. I love that and am stealing it. He wouldn’t exactly handle the information well though, because that is WAY too much pressure.
Craig: Craig didn’t give a shit when fucking lasers came out of his eyes so it’s safe to say he doesn’t give a shit about this either. He’ll say a sarcastic remark about it once in a while, but that’s about it.
Stan: Hoo boy, Stan. I know that I just recently wrote a fanfiction where Stan is patient and understanding about the whole thing but I changed my mind. So, in “The Cissy” when people around him start experimenting with gender for various reasons Stan gets worried and confused. He reacts similarly during the Tweek and Craig/Yaoi situation in “Tweek x Craig”. And who could forget the time when he didn’t go visit Kenny in the hospital because he couldn’t deal with the situation? (I’m making him sound like a bad kid, he’s not, he’s just sensitive and doesn’t know how to handle some things in the best way.) So now I’m thinking that when he finds out he’ll have another Stan Marsh Existential Crisis (patent pending) and just kinda avoid Kenny for a while. That’s not a good way to handle it but he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t know what to say to the guy. It feels like everything has changed between them. Kyle has to intervene and goes up to Stan like “dude, quit being an idiot and go talk to Kenny. He thinks you hate him now.” (Because I can’t imagine a world where Stan knows and Kyle doesn’t or vice versa.) And he feels bad because he never meant to give him that impression. He still likes him just as much as before, he just needed some time to process everything. So he takes Kyle’s advice and they talk things out. Kenny understands how the information can be a shock and Stan promises not to withdraw like that again when his friends need him. Eventually he gets used to it and it just becomes another quirk that one of his friends has. (Thinking of writing a fic about this scenario but, like I said, I already wrote a fic focusing on Stan and Kenny’s relationship. I should probably use one of my Kyle and Kenny fic ideas first.)
#this gets long and rambly I apologize#south park#kenny mccormick#immortal Kenny#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#butters stotch#tweek tweak#craig tucker
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I'm imagining a kyman angst where they're both dating but, whenever Cartman gives any type of affection to Kyle, Kyle bluntly rejects it. (Inspired on Twitter) It goes off like this:
That one morning, At School ,Cartman tries to give his boyfriend a small act of affection hoping that this time Kyle accepts it. He gets a flower that he found yesterday after school and planned to give it to Kyle this day.
Once he gives it to Kyle, his answer is below his expectation. Kyle laughs it off and pushes the flower on Cartman's hand and tells him, "Cartman, come on, stop it, this is so embarrassing you know?" Kyle let out a nervous laugh and added, "come on, let's go catch up Stan and Kenny in class" he turns around his body. That moment, Cartman knew.. there were several things to point out here:
1. Kyle calls him 'Cartman' instead of 'Eric'
2. Kyle was embarrassed instead of flattered
3. Lastly, Kyle never kisses him or tells him that he loves him
After Cartman sorts this out, he can only sigh and throw the flower to the trash can and follow where Kyle goes. While walking through the hallway, Cartman started to wonder when was the last time they kissed. He remembered back then Kyle was very nervous when Cartman confessed to him, they shared their feelings and that time too they finally kissed. Now what? As if that time never happens at all.
...
Cartman realizes that there's no use in keeping Kyle to stay with him, so then he chooses to do the silent treatment. And of course Kyle didn't realize that, he was so busy with his friends that he didn't realize he was ignoring his boyfriend. Cartman let out a hurt chuckle 'of course, he never likes me in the first place, why would I think he will one day?' And it's been like that for a week.
...
Another day just came, Cartman was bored and somewhat hopeless, there's no one he could find to hang out, his mind has been circulating about Kyle, Kyle, and Kyle and it exhausted him so much. He thought that maybe if he asked Kyle to go on a date, maybe Kyle would accept it? He still has a glint of hope. He contacted Kyle's number...
Kyle: what, Cartman?
Cartman: h-hey, I was thinking if you wanted to go on a date today?
Kyle: sigh... Cartman, look, I'm busy, I'll make it up to you next week okay?
Cartman was so done.
Kyle: Cartman?
Cartman: you know what? Fuck you Kyle, all you ever did always makes me a complete trash! I'm your boyfriend! Why can't you just at least have time for me or maybe act like a couple would do?? Is it because I'm fat? ugly? Or what?! What are you ashamed of?!
Kyle: cart-
Cartman: see?! You even called me on my last name! You know what?! Let's- let's just end this... it's not like you even love me in the first place..
Before Kyle can speak, Cartman hangs up the phone and immediately blocks him. He then breaks down in tears, maybe...just maybe there's someone who will truly love him...
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why cartman IS kenny’s bff
it pisses me off sm how in the episode “best friends forever” stan & kyle were being haters and were all like “cartman isn’t kenny’s best friend!1!1!1” i don’t remember which one said it but it was probably kyle bc we all know how he is LOL. like BRUH kyle, cartman IS kenny’s bff, not you bitch. i think kyle is just mad & jealous bc kenny likes hanging around cartman more than him and prefers cartman as a friend which we also saw how in the post covid specials in the future cartman was the only person kenny was still keeping in touch with before he died and then kyle was pissy AF abt that. kyle is a shitass friend to kenny, especially in the early seasons he would rip on kenny for being poor too just like cartman did. he even deadass said in one episode “kenny’s not my friend i don’t give a rats ass about him” or some shit LOL. really all the boys are crappy friends to kenny they just use him & take advantage of him for shit and then they don’t give a crap when he dies, so i feel like kenny holds A LOT of resentment towards all three of them and kind of dislikes them all in a way, he just is friends with them anyways and goes along with shit bc he’s too nice lol. kenny seems like that kind of person that’s just equally nice to everyone so then narcissistic bitches take advantage of that and take it way too personally thinking that person adores them when rlly that person doesn’t give a shit abt them and is just being polite to everyone so then the narcissistic bitch starts being possessive AF of the nice person thinking they’re entitled to their attention and time LOL. (i know this bc i’m a nice person and then bitches i don’t even like start obsessing over me 24/7 prob bc no one has ever shown them love in their entire lives) but cartman is DEF the one kenny is closest with and trusts the most which is shown by the way kenny confides in cartman when he’s sad or upset abt shit which we never see him do with stan & kyle lol. like remember in the vaccination special how cartman was telling stan & kyle that kenny was sad abt the broship or whatever? the fact that kenny went to CARTMAN and not them about that says a lot. kenny has wayyy more in common with cartman too and is a lot more similar to him than stan & kyle. kenny is more laid back and likes to have fun and he’s a huge troublemaker too, so that’s why he doesn’t vibe with kyle’s goodie twoshoe preachy obnoxiousness lol. the fact that kenny also gets along well with craig too prob more than any of the other boys says a lot abt his personality and how he’s more of a rebellious idgaf type. also another little piece of evidence to show that cartman understands kenny on a deeper level than the other boys was in “cartmanland” when he pointed out how kenny dies all the time lol even tho that might’ve just been a throwaway joke or a breaking the fourth wall moment. i feel like kenny can def be two faced tho and he pretends to hate cartman sometimes just to be cool like stan & kyle do but we all know that’s bullshit and he does like cartman otherwise he wouldn’t spend all the time with cartman that he does lol. i feel like it’s mostly just stan & kyle pressuring kenny to hate on cartman or avoid him (mostly kyle doing this shit ofc bc he’s a big bully) and kenny just goes along with it bc he’s too nice and and passive of a person to stand up for himself so he lets stan & kyle walk all over him and use him for shit lol. which is why i LOVE that moment in “the magic bush” when cartman stood up to kyle when he was being mean and shitting on kenny for him & cartman taking pics of craig’s mom’s bush LOL. stan & kyle just view kenny as a little prop & stunt person for their schemes while cartman actually values kenny as a friend and makes an effort to spend time with him one on one and tries to have fun with him. so cartman IS kenny’s bff. PERIOD.
#this is the kenman content you’ve all been waiting for#south park#kenman#kenny mccormick#cartman#eric cartman
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silly rant about wendy and stan :3
but like the rants are seperate
so to whoever wants to read this shit i think wendy doesnt work with anyone else besides stan. if you say "kyle can treat her better!" first of all stfu u kyndy shippers are annoying asf and second of all no he would not. he would clearly get jealous of other guys and he would be really controlling (not in earlier seasons) and lets just be fr for a sec... wendy would either fall out of love or get back with stan again because yknow they always go back to eachother. and plus an arguement between wendy and kyle would be ugly especially if theyre together, they both can get mad asf and the arguement would last ATLEAST a few days. and atleast stan can handle her disagreeing and yelling at him. now lets see who else shes paired with. i wanna talk abt wendy and token. first of all i dont believe wendy ever loved token because we never see theyre relationship outside of raisins. what i believe is that wendy only dated token to try and get stans attention because he did neglect the relationship and maybe she was attention-hungry. and now the final one i wanna talk to about is cartman. i hate wendy x cartman (more than i hate kyndy) because we know it would never work. she even said that she lost all feelings towards cartman after chef goes nanners. and even if you argue and say that they had good chemestry in that episode let me remind you that she ran back to stan at the end of the episode. she clearly hates cartman and clearly would rather killherself than date cartman. i dont think cartman deserves to be with anyone (except maybe yentl) because he's pretty much unlovable.
now onto stan, i dont think he works with anyone but wendy. lets take a look at style. first of all kyle has left stan several times before. he left him for token and he also never helped him with his depression in your getting old. but guess who was there to cheer him up? wendy was. wendy was one of the only people that didnt get sick of him in that episode and it really shows how much she cares for stan. and in you have 0 friends even though wendy was kinda being... weird, stan did listen to her and tried to edit his settings on his facebook.
also i wanna bring up... best friends doesnt = dating.
also i wanna talk abt stendy as a relationship. i think that they might be able to work as friends but as partners is when theyre dynamic works best. girlboss and loser bf. in all honesty stan and wendy might have the best dynamic/healthiest relationship out of everyone. theyve been shown to care about eachother lots of times and in the older seasons was when they really had their cutest moments. modern stendy isnt bad either, wendy is able to forgive stan at the end of the chat gpt episode because she loves him. and stan really cares for wendy too. he went with wendy to see shitty movies just to spend time with her and he also wrote a song for her. stendy is my absolute favorite ship and i hate when ppl make them cheat on eachother. stan would never and wendy wouldnt either. and one thing i noticed is that stan is loyal to wendy, sure he may have had a few crushes on other girls but, he never actually tried to make a move on any of them (except ms ellen) but through out all their break ups, stan never dating anyone besides wendy, which shows he really does love her enough to the point where he would hit on anyone while she was gone
also this section is just random but i wanted to put it here:
would stan work with other girls?
theres 3 main people i wanted to pair stan with. heidi, bebe, and red. first i want to talk abt is red and stan. i feel like they would be more friends than lovers. we dont really see much of reds personality but we do know that she acts like the other girls. stan doesnt really interact with girls that much so we dont really see a certain dynamic between them. another girl i want to talk abt is bebe. bebe is an interstening character, she can be nice, outgoing and funny but she can switch up to be sassy and rude. stan and bebe are like the listeners/jocks of their groups. they both have their hobbys that go on the field (stan plays football and bebe is a cheerleader). i feel like stan and bebe would be besties shit talking everybody. and lastly i want to move onto heidi. i feel like they could work as an alternate incase stan and wendy have a permenant break up (lets be honest thats never happening). i feel like heidi likes/ is fond of stan. she went up to him for advice abt cartman and he's probably the one that knows cartman the least. and in the bracelets episode he asked her for glue which i find funny. and i feel like their love of animals would help them bond.
ok i think im done with this rant
so basically:
wendy and kyle dont get along prob, stendy is a healthy relationship, cartman and wendy hate eachother, stan and red are mutuals, stan and bebe are prob besties, and stan and heidi could work but like... stendy solos.
ok bye yall
#stan marsh#wendy testaburger#stendy#kyle broflovski#heidi turner#bebe stevens#red mcarthur#sp sted#sp steidi#sp stabe#sp kyndy#kyndy#stabe#steidi#candy#wendy x cartman#stan x wendy#stan x heidi#stan x bebe#stan x red#rant#style#stan x kyle
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Another request from A03! I am so very sorry this one took so long I actually had to start this one over a few times because I actually lost a big chunk of it when I first started writing it! Nothing takes the wind out of my sails faster.
Warning: NSFW, Dom!Stan, Sub!Reader, Dirty Talk, Enemies to Lovers, Writer doesn't know shit about college or sports ball, Slight Voyeurism, Strong Language, Stan might be a little OOC
Pairing: Stan x Fem!Reader
Notes: Hey uh welcome to this week's episode of, "Writer don't know how to write conflict to save her life!" I'm very bad at coming up with a reason to fight people, it's not in my nature so I'm sorry if it seems forced!
You hated Stan Marsh
You hated him and most of the football players at your university. Them and their spotlight hogging, annoying, disgusting, sweaty, irritating habits! You and your girls bust your ass off at every practice, sports game, and pep rally South Park University places on your teams’ shoulders, and what do you get for it?
To hear things like, "Oooooh did you see how Cartman played center?" or "Clyde is so hot when he takes his helmet off and has that messy hair!" even, "Kyle plays football AND basketball with perfect grades? Why is he soooo perfect!"
But the one that got under your skin the most was Stanely fucking Marsh, the star quarterback. The man walks around the school with his little crowd of admirers everywhere he went, and for what? Just because he throws a stupid ball around and can run quick? Fuck him.
Your girls put in twice the work they do; you've been to every one of their games. You had to. Your group had to coordinate with the football players, the basketball players, the volleyball team, the hockey team, hell you even had to coordinate with the wrestling team. It was exhausting trying to keep up with it all.
And what did your cheer squad get? Perverted remarks and dismissive attitudes! The final straw was when the Cows mascot got more respect than your group did. You brought your complaints up to the school's councilor, to the headmaster, to anyone who would listen.
Word travels fast around the small town of South Park, people dating and breaking up. Who cheated on who, who's throwing the best parties, who threw up in who's car. Shit like that. Not much changes from high school to college, just a lot less sneaking around and more energy drinks and pain meds. So of course, when your complaints got to the one and only Stan Marsh, he confronted you about it.
"Hey! Hey wait up!" His voice rings out past the busy sounds of other students trying to get to their classes. "You're the captain of the cheer squad, right?" He all but corners you while you're walking with your friends, he doesn't have his little squad of goons following him around.
"Are you serious?" How could he not know who you are?! You've only been to every one of his stupid games! Only been sitting on the sidelines of every practice! "Yes! I am! What do you want?!"
Stan flinched back at the venom in your voice but that didn't stop him from shooting you a look. "Uh...did I do something wrong? I heard from one of the guys that you're not exactly...happy and I was just trying to figure out what we did."
"What you did. What did he do girls? Can anyone answer Mr. Marsh's question~?" The tone in your voice did not match the smile on your face. It sounded chipper but anyone listening could tell it was fake.
Your little group always had your back, most of them felt the same way you did. If anything, it just amplified that anger, knowing your girls were feeling underappreciated. It was your job as the captain to protect your girls, but every time you brought it up to them, they seemed to shy away from saying anything.
"Well, geez Stan, you gotta admit your team's been kinda hoggin' the spotlight. You know what I'm tryin' ta say don't ya?" It wasn't just your girls you had to protect; it was your sweet little angel Butters too. Although you guys called him by his first name when cheering with him, he was Leo to you. And right now, Leo was trying to bridge the gap between you and your rival.
"Veeery good Leo! That's right, Stan and his team don't seem to give a shit how hard we work to cheer his team on! The whole school would rather worship the ground their star quarterback walks on!"
"The school doesn't worship the ground I walk on! You can't pin this on me!" Stan shot back trying to defend himself, it was hard not to feel attacked even though you were the only one glaring at him.
A part of you knew that he was right, it really wasn't his fault that small towns in America went crazy for football.
"W-we're not pinnin' anything on ya! Just sayin' maybe, it wouldn't hurt to tell the guys to show us a little bit more respect! You know Eric's been pickin' on me ever since I joined the girls, sayin' some awfully mean things."
"Leo is right! You may not have a hand in the way people think but that's just the problem, you don't do anything to stop it! If you were really the captain of your little team you'd step up!" You took a step towards him, your face getting inches away from his face.
Ignoring the fact that you had to look up at him, you wouldn't let him leave without getting your point across. His eyes narrowed down at you, matching the energy you were giving out to him. Butters looked between the both of you with a nervous look, he could practically see the electricity bouncing between your eyes. The poor blond didn't mean to start a fight, he was just trying to help.
"If you had a problem with my team, you should have come to me then. Why did I have to find out from other people?" Stan's voice dipped to a low growl which almost made you give one in return.
"I shouldn't have had to go to anyone in the first place Marsh! Get your team under control or else!" You felt your face turn red; it was getting harder to argue with him when those ocean blue eyes were burning into yours.
That was new. Just going to lock that in your vault of things to not think about again.
Thankfully Butters finally stepped in, physically putting his body between the both of you. "C-come on now guys let’s all just calm down. We both said our peace and now we can work it out, right? Next time we practice we can be on the same page!"
"Sure Butters." Stan clicked his tongue as he looked at his friend, but that didn't stop him from getting one last jab in. "You better hope you don't slip up princess, because if you do. I'll be there and I'll be quick to remind you of your shortcomings." And with that he turned on his heel and started walking down the hallways.
"Princess?! Excuse me?!"
"Oh geez..."
Stan slammed his locker with a little more force than he should have, the rusty door screamed out and bounced back open. With an annoyed groan he pushed back on the metal with a little less force, but the damage was already done, the door was now on its last leg and would most likely not shut right. Just more fuel to the fire.
"Whoa dude what did that poor locker do to you? Don't you think it's been through enough." Kenny looked over from his locker with a little smirk.
One of the few times Kenny was without his parka, a towel wrapped around his waist and his bright blond hair clung to his skin. Stan could smell the smell of fresh soap and hints of pine in the air. He sighed in response to Kenny's teasing, clearly not in the mood for his friend's antics.
"Not now man, I don't have the energy." Stan grabbed his jacket and pulled it up onto his torso.
"Ah that's not good, wanna tell your old pal Kenny? I won't even charge ya, come on what's going on."
Stan pressed his lips together and he tried to focus on zipping up the worn-out brown coat he always wore, the zipper struggled to hold together. He cursed under his breath a few times before the thing finally zipped all the way up. For a moment Stan thought about not saying anything, but Kenny was never the type to judge or the type to let things go if he knew something was bothering his friends.
"You know the captain of the cheerleaders?"
"The really hot one?"
"Kenny!" Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, something he picked up from his mother when they were both aggravated, "That's not the point."
"Says you. She's a baddy for real. Take no shit kinda woman~! The feisty ones are the ones that bite the hardest. You got your work cut out for you if you're trying to shoot your shot. I heard she turned down everyone else on the team!"
"Dude! I'm not gonna ask her out!"
"You're not? Then why'd you bring her up? Is this about the fight you guys had in the hall?"
Stan stopped and looked up at him in shock. "You heard about that already?"
"Oh yeah, you guys's are the talk of the school. Everyone thinks you guys had a little lovers spat. I had to hear the whole story from Leo!" Kenny chuckled as he grabbed started getting changed, pulling the patchy orange pants up his legs.
"Even you're calling him Leo now..." Stan muttered but quickly shook his head, "but that's not what I was going to say! I was going to...talk about that but if you already know."
"Yeah, I don't really know what that's all about but Leo kinda spelled it out for me. She's not mad at you per say just mad at the position you're in. A jealousy thing maybe but honestly, I think she's just tired of taking the back seat so to speak."
"What am I supposed to do about that? It's not my fault!" Stan threw his hands up the irritation on face made Kenny laugh again.
"I didn't say it was dude. I'm just telling you what I think, but man, she really got under your skin." Kenny smirks over at him with a playful purr.
"No, she didn't! I don't even care."
"Yep, that totally looks like the face that doesn't care~" Kenny pulled his zipper up and adjusted the collar as he spoke. "Look, let’s pretend for a second you do care. If I were you, I'd just talk to her. Ask her what you can do to make things right, because I'll be honest man, she's the last person you wanna make an enemy of. She'll make your life hell." Kenny finished making his point by wrapping his arm around Stan's neck and pulling him in for a side hug. "Besides, it's not like you have to work close with her, just work around her."
"Yeah..."
But of course, it could never be that simple, could it? Every time Stan tried to catch you to talk to you something got in his way. Monday you were busy with your classes zipping around the hall, Stan could barely get a word in. Tuesday you had to help Butters with his outfit so of course you didn't have time for him. Wednesday was the big pep rally for Friday's game, so that meant Thursday was for practice.
Thursday was hell. Stan was supposed to be focused on getting his team ready for the game. They were practicing dodging other players and passing the ball across the field. Stan was supposed to be working on his throw, he needed the ball to go further than normal. Kyle was getting faster at running and if Stan fell behind their whole strategy would be thrown out the window.
But of course, you couldn't make it easy. It was getting harder and harder to focus on what he needed to do when you were being tossed in the air. The way your dark green and gold skirt caught the sunlight, and the way the puffy looking poms in your hands shook back and forth. Stan knew he was in trouble when he stopped paying attention for a moment when you laughed at something Annie said. Next thing he knew he felt the football knock him on the side of the head. And of course, that's when you looked over, he felt his face heat up when you giggled and covered your mouth.
He hated you. Hated your pretty smile, the way you laughed made his blood boil and his body turn hot. Your stupid lips curled into a gorgeous smile and the way your thighs looked good enough to sink his teeth into, what he'd give to walk over and kiss that smug look off your-
Stan let out a growl that came from deep in his chest as he threw the ball down the field hitting Kyle in the chest. The poor red head just took it, letting out a grunt as it managed to get past the gear meant to keep him safe. He wouldn't let his mind wonder there, not for you. Not when you're the one who attacked him and then started avoiding him every chance you got.
"Marsh!" He winced when he heard Coach Miles below his name, he didn't need to see his face to know he was in trouble.
With a sigh he took his helmet off and ran his fingers through his messy black hair, the helmet causing his hair to stick up. As he walked over, he could feel your eyes on him, and all he could do was scowl. Trying not to think about how you must be eating this up.
Stan's scowl dropped when he heard the coach call your last name and gesture for you to come over. Your eyes widened at the way the coach called for you, you'd never heard him so angry at you before. You gave your poms to Wendy as you ran over, walking behind him as he gestured for you and Stan to follow him.
Coach Miles took you both back inside through the gym, once the three of you were alone, he crossed his arms and glared down at you both. "So, the big game is tomorrow and some of the students have come to be with worries about the way you two were at each other’s throats." He paused for only a moment, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let me make something very clear, we are not in high school anymore. So whatever problem you two have with each other, fix it. You’re adults, act like them."
"I've tried! She doesn't want to work this out!" Stan's mouth moved before he thought about the consequences, but he was just so tired of this whole thing. Even if he agreed with his Coach, this whole situation had him at the end of his rope.
"What?! No, you didn't! You just bitched to Kenny-"
"I didn't bitch! I was asking for advice!" Stan stopped and glared over at you again, it seems like that's the only look he gave you nowadays. "I tried to talk to you in the halls and you blew me off!" How did you even know about he talked to Kenny anyway?!
Fucking Butters.
"I told you what my problem was with you Marsh!"
"No, you didn't! All you did was-"
"Enough!" The Coach's voice boomed over your little squabble and echoed off the gymnasium walls. "I was hoping you two would be mature enough that I didn't have to do this, but I guess I was wrong."
You and Stan watched as Coach Miles stuck his hand in his pocket and fished out a folded-up piece of paper. Unfolding it, he handed it to you and huffed. It was a warning slip, something he never gave out to you or Stan. "So, unless you both figure this out, you're both benched. Off the field and you can watch the rest of the students play without you."
"What?!" Your voices came out in unison, shocked at the very thought of not getting to be a part of tomorrows big game.
"I mean it! Figure yourselves out or you're out! I can have McCormick take your spot Marsh and Testaburger has plenty of experience leading!"
"But Coach-"
"No! I shouldn't have had to do this in the first place! I'm not your dad, I'm not your counselor, I'm a Coach! You both are lucky I'm even giving you a second chance! You have until tomorrow." Every word that came out of Coach Miles's mouth pierced like a sword.
You flinched and pulled back just as Stan did each time, he emphasized his frustration. It was a verbal lashing unlike one you've ever gotten, and you were grateful when he turned and left. You weren't sure if you could take much more.
An uncomfortable silence fell over you and Stan as you both just stood there. The slight buzzing sound of the fans overhead and Stan's deep breaths were all you could hear. Each time he inhaled through his nose he would exhale through his mouth, but it didn't look like it was actually doing anything to calm him.
You've heard when Stan got yelled at by Coach Miles, and not once did he look this angry. Your eyes trailed down his jawline watching as he started grinding his teeth together, the look on his face said it all. He was holding something back, he looked like a lit fuse ready to blow. You didn't know if that anger was at you, the Coach, the situation, or all the above. But a part of you really wanted to find out, and Miles did tell you to work it out.
"So... you wanted to talk. I'm here."
Stan's head snapped over towards you, the look on his face was a mix of anger and bewilderment. Shocked that you would break the silence like that. He felt his stomach churn, a feeling he hasn't felt since he was a kid.
It always felt like he was on a roller-coaster going too fast, that fluttering feeling one would feel when the ride would hit that high and then dropped to that low. Only this time it felt like the pit of his stomach was also on fire, his stomach was a cauldron ready to boil over. As he opened his mouth to speak nothing came out, he just let his mouth hang open for a second and then he shut it again. He was holding back still.
You rolled your eyes and jut your hip out, arms crossing under your chest. "Just say it. I know you want to yell, so yell. I'm a big girl I can take whatever you could possibly throw at me."
When Stan didn't respond but instead walked towards you, your arms dropped, and you took a step back. So caught up in the dark blues of his eye you barely registered when your back hit the wall, it wasn't until you realized he had you backed into a corner that you grasped the situation you were in. He slammed his arm over your head making your heart leap in your chest, and your hands come up in defensively.
You weren't scared that he was going to hurt you, you never got that from Stan, he never seemed like that type. But the way he looked down at you made your heart speed up and a shiver run down your spine. Never had you felt like a rabbit trapped in a pen with a wolf. Something about that excited you.
"What are you doing-"
"Shut.up." Stan's voice dips an octave as he whispers out the command.
The gravel in his voice is cut by the way he slams his lips down onto yours. You have just enough time to push back into the kiss when he pulls away and continues. "You...have made my life.... fucking hell...this entire week!" His complaints almost falls on deaf ears from the way he's kissing you in between them. "I don't know why I get so.... worked up with you!" He emphasizes the last part by grabbing your jaw and forcing your face up towards him.
It's only been a week and you've already got him wrapped around your finger, so tightly wound up that he was beginning to snap. And maybe you were wrapped around his, the smirk on your face was short lived when he bit your bottom lip. A small gasp escaping your lips giving him enough of an opening to slip his tongue in your mouth. You moan against his lips and grip the front of his jersey by the collar. If he wanted to get handsy you could get handsy. You pulled him down into the kiss somehow deepening it further.
Your tongues push back and forth against each other, neither giving way to the other. His tongue was relentless but so was yours. It wasn't until you felt a bit of drool dripping down the side of your mouth did it click. You were making out with, what you thought, was the biggest asshole on campus. Yet you couldn't pull away, couldn't pull away from his hold on you.
On the other side of things, Stan's mind was going blank. With every twist of your tongue and lips he felt himself getting addicted. Hungry lips moving from yours to devour the soft flesh of your neck. He bites down with enough force to pull a cry from you and to leave a mark. Right where your shoulder meets your neck, teeth marks bright and red poked out of your cheerleading uniform.
"You fucking ass! That's going to leave a mark!" You hiss at him, but it just turns to another moan as he sucks on the patch of skin near your collarbone.
"Good!" He growls back coming off your skin with a pop. "I have tried all week to work with you! All fucking week to work with your bitchy attitude!"
"My attitude?! Fuck you! I was trying-"
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He cuts you off with a smirk, one that would give the devil a run for his money.
"What?!" You white knuckle his jersey with both hands now.
"You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid." His hands reach down to the back of your thighs, cupping them as he lifts you up and slams you back into the wall. Not enough to hurt but enough to remind you of the predicament you're in.
"Says the man who had his tongue down my throat!" Predicament be damned. He would not win this fight just because he slots himself between your legs and pushes his arousal against your thigh.
Those football pants left nothing for the imagination, the thought of leaving him with that hard on in those pants crossed your mind for a moment. But when he rolled his hips against your clothed sex you had to focus on biting back the moan instead.
"It shut you up, didn't it? You didn't seem to want me to stop when you were moaning against me."
You glared down at him and ran your fingers through his hair, giving the roots a firm tug; you smirked when he moaned. His face turned red making him lunge forward and bite your neck again. Your nails dug into his scalp which only seemed to encourage him to leave marks.
"Just shut the fuck up and...and fuck me already!" You tried to keep the moan out of your voice, but when he found that soft spot on your neck it just turned into a whimper.
That smug bastard lips turned up into a smirk, he pulls back just long enough to take a look around the gym. All he could hear was you panting heavily trying to catch your breath and the same dull fan buzzing. He looked down at you for a moment and for a second you thought he'd pull away. That he'd come to his senses and realize that maybe this wasn't exactly what the Coach meant.
But he didn't. Instead, he pulls your face back up for another kiss, this one was a lot less angry. There was still that heat behind each press of his lips, but it was more controlled, not like when he was trying to get you to stop talking. He presses his forehead against yours for a moment, the sweat from practice earlier dripping down his neck, it would almost be sweet if the situation leading up to it didn't happen.
"We have to be quick."
"Here?! Are you out of your mind, what if we get caught!?"
"Would you just let me-" You feel him move you to his forearm, where he pins you between the wall and his body. "You've got me so worked up! I don't know why I find your endless complaining and bitching so hot!" The confession spilled out of his mouth once again without a second thought as his hands move up your skirt.
His hands grope and squeeze at your thighs and then your ass pulling another sweet moan from your lips. "Don't act like you're free from it! You like to think you're sooooo much better than me but you're just like me!"
"I know!" He grunts as he pushes your underwear to the side making you shiver when the cold air hits your cunt.
Stan watches as your eyes flutter shut when he slams his fingers into your wet hole, his fingers coated with your sweet juices. He licks his lips when your mouth hangs open and a shaky gasp is pulled from you. "Look at you already so fucking wet for me. I thought you hated me huh?"
"Sh... shit. I-I do hate you!" Your weak attempt to bite back fall short when he curls his finger in you, slamming his fingers in and out of you.
His lips ghost over yours as he buries himself to the knuckle in your pretty cunt. He watches as you suck his fingers in further and further. The sounds you're making makes his cock throb in his pants, straining against the white material. "Yeah? Doesn't feel like you hate me. You were ordering me to fuck you earlier."
"I-I... oh fuck! Harder!"
Stan smirks down at you and there's no comment this time. How can he when you look so damn sweet, nails digging into his shoulders clinging to him for dear life. He stops his fingers and glares down at you. "Say please."
"B-bite me."
He does. He leans down and bites down on the tip of your ear, his husky voice laced with danger. "I'm not moving my fingers from your cunt until I get a please."
"G-God damn it Stan j-just.... ugh please! Please go harder!"
For a moment he looks up like he's thinking about it, pondering whether he should or not. You could have smacked that smug look off his face but when his fingers drill deeper into you all you can do is throw your head back. As if it wasn't enough, he finds that perfect spot, making you clench around his digits.
"Fuck you look so good when you're like this. You gonna cum around my fingers princess? Go ahead, let me feel you clench around them." He talks you through your orgasm with a steady tone, making you lull your head to the side as you reach your climax.
His fingers stay buried in you for a bit before he pulls them out, you almost whimper at the loss of them. But it was cut short when he wrapped his lips around his fingers. Sucking the slick off his digit while keeping eye contact with you. The telltale sign of a blush crept up your neck and across your face when he removed his index finger from his mouth.
"You're so gross..."
"Whatever." He clicked his tongue at your comment, even after he pulled an orgasm out of you; you still had something to say. His hands move across your ass again giving the flesh a firm squeeze. You slapped his shoulder when he chuckled at your little squeak. "Hmm~ I liked you begging. Let’s see if I can't get more of that out of you."
He moves his hands down to his pants and slips them down to his thighs. He fumbles for a moment with his boxers before he just decides to give up and pull his cock through the flap. He did say this needed to be quick and he already wasted time fingering you against the gym wall. Not that he regretted it, he had half a mind to do it again, but if the precum leaking out of the slit of his cock was anything to go by he need release soon.
Stan glides his cock against your folds a few times, coating his cock in your arousal, his breath hitches when you roll your hips back. When his eyes meet yours again his knees almost buckle under the weight of your lustful gaze. The way your eyelids lower and your mouth falls open again with each drag of his cock. He takes the base of his member and slaps it against your cunt a few times. "Come on princess, tell me you want this. Tell me you don't really hate me."
"I...." You trail off, letting your stubborn attitude take over but Stan isn't making it easy. Each passing second you don't answer him he nudges the tip of his cock in your entrance, not quite pushing in to give you that pleasure. "I hate that I like it that you call me that! I hate the way my heart speeds up when you kiss me! I hate that I like you!" Your words roll off your tongue like a confession, the way you throw your head back the frustration growing in your tone.
Stan growls again, that sound being pulled out of him more times today than his entire life, but he can't resist you. It's like he's a puppet and you're holding all the strings. His hands come up to your hips and guide you down the length of his cock just as your legs wrap around his waist. The muscles in your legs keep him in place making his cock throb again, you feel it bob against your walls.
"You have...no fucking idea...how much I've wanted this! Every time you got thrown in the air-" He lets out a shaky moan as he pulls you off his cock and slides you right back down. "Every... every time you giggled and flashed that perfect smile." Stan nuzzled into the crook of your neck while his hips begin to find the perfect rhythm. "Everything about you is perfect and I fucking hate it!"
Stan's little burst of irritation comes out from the way he begins picking up speed. You cling onto him as he continues piercing up into you, your arms wrapping around his neck to try as your back slides up and down against the wall. "Oh god Stan!"
"Listen to yourself. Calling my name like that, you drive me crazy! I'm not going to be able to stop. You gonna let me cum in you? I don't wanna stain that pretty uniform of yours." The way he's moaning out your name in between breaths makes your stomach do flips.
You can't find the strength to answer so you settle for nodding and moaning his name. He doesn't say anything else besides the occasional cursing and small grunts, so focused on bullying your insides. You feel the coil in your stomach tighten and tighten until the knot starts to snap. Your walls grip his cock as he brings you closer and closer to the edge, your voice has gone hoarse from moaning and screaming his name. He feels his cock twitch when he sees you climax around him, it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The way your mouth hangs open, lips slightly swollen from how hard you kissed him. The way your hair was out of place and the way your uniform was messed up from how hard he was thrusting into you.
"Fuck...I'm...I'm cumming." He groaned as he emptied himself inside you. Thick hot arousal shooting up and painting your insides, it made you whimper and squirm.
There was another moment of silence that fell over you two, it wasn't the heavy awkward one the Coach had left you in. It was almost comfortable by the way Stan was pressing soft kisses into your neck, his lips moving up to your jawline and to the corner of your mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair again trying to smooth it out instead of tugging.
"So....this certainly was one way to work out our problems..."
Stan hummed in response as he slowly pulled you off him, you couldn't help but gasp at the feeling of loss again. As he pulls his pants and boxers up, he takes out the small towel he has tucked away in the pockets of his pants, and gently begins to clean your thighs. The action makes you smile a little, how one minute he could go from destroying you against a wall to treating you like some doll. When he sets you down his hands linger on your hips a little longer like he's trying to make sure you're alright enough to stand.
"Yeah...hey, I'm sorry. I'm not...good at confrontation and I shouldn't have got defense with you." His apology almost makes your heart break but at the same time it feels so warm.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my jealousy out on you. You didn't deserve that, it's not your fault." You fiddle with the material of his jersey, rolling it between your fingertips.
"Jealous? Why would you be jealous?" Stan asks completely dumbfounded by the idea.
"Because everyone always talks about you and your team! It's always how great you are, and everyone seems to like you!"
"Really? Because I always hear about how amazing you guys are. Every game the guys always feel better knowing that even if we lose you guys were cheering for us. I can't tell you how happy Butter's has been since you let him join the squad." He chuckles and goes to move a lock of your hair behind your ear.
"Awh...that's so sweet." You look up at him with a little giggle and a smile, which he returns. "Now I feel all bad."
"Nah don't feel bad...I'm just glad we got this straightened out. I know it's a little backwards but...do you think I could take you out after the game tomorrow? Win or lose I just...kinda wanna spend more time with you." He gives you a sheepish smile and a small blush creeps across his face.
"Only if you don't mind me bitching." You joke back with a little hum, pushing yourself up against him.
"It'll go great with mine." He smirks back down at you and places a kiss on your lips.
Word travels fast around campus. When you both walked out of the gym smiling at each other neither teams could believe it. Even more so when next week you were walking around with Stan's jacket over your shoulders and your pinky wrapped around his. The star quarterback's last name written in big blocky letters on your back and your lipstick staining his cheek. Definitely not a normal way to start a relationship, but that was you and Stan's little secret.
#south park#reader insert#sp fanfiction#south park x reader#south park fanfiction#x reader#anon ask#requests fuel me!!#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh#oh god this one fought me the entire time#my brain is spaghetti#but shiiiiit#we did it gaymers#reader once again#is in fact#a bad bitch#fucking uhhhh#we got more soulmate shit coming up#please look forward to it#shhh its a secret#i finally get to put something up for kenny#got too many#kyle and stan#requests#ya'll thirsty for them idiots#same tho#lmao
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I forget if I've ever made a post about this before, but I have some thoughts on the Black Friday trilogy that I was reminded of when I was watching it last night.
First: the garden scenes. I think it's just really in character how each of the boys react to Cartman's roses.
Kenny accepts the rose immediately and smells it twice before secretly, discretely disposing of it. This, I think, symbolizes Kenny being Cartman’s ‘best friend’ and going along with his schemes fairly regularly, especially in earlier seasons, but gradually growing to dislike Cartman in the later seasons, particularly after Poor and Stupid and his Mysterion arc. However Cartman doesn’t know Kenny secretly hates him now, because Kenny still goes along with him and acts friendly, and he thinks they’re still best friends even in Post Covid.
Butters immediately accepts and sniffs the rose no questions asked. Obviously this is an indication that Butters, barring his rant in Going Native, is largely a lackey who is a) extremely gullible and susceptible to Cartman’s manipulation and b) ready to go along with almost any scheme without a second thought.
Kyle accepts the rose but looks at it warily before sniffing it, and then keeps it. This is an interesting one because of Cartman and Kyle’s dynamic. Even despite everything he’s gone through, Kyle wants to trust Cartman and find the good in him, so he initially accepts the rose. However, because of their history he knows he shouldn’t trust Cartman, so he looks at the rose with uncertainty at first. But, because he’s often susceptible to Cartman’s manipulation tactics and moments of - I don’t want to say affection but it’s adjacent to that - in spite of his best efforts not to be, he gives in and not only smells the rose but holds onto it, because he actually clings to those moments of respite. Those moments are what keep him tied to Cartman, and it’s just another manipulation tactic - Cartman knows Kyle wants to see the good in everyone, so he grants him moments of peace and friendliness in between the torture. The fact that the Black Friday trilogy directly follows Ginger Cow and Kyle sides with Cartman is not lost on me. The cycle of abuse is real.
Stan just holds the rose and doesn't smell it at all. He literally doesn’t care about Cartman’s manipulation, and he’s as unfazed by the rose as he is by nearly everything else Cartman does or says. He associates with Cartman, which is why he holds onto the rose, but he’s largely unaffected by him, which is why he doesn’t interact with the rose. He only reacts to Cartman after he finds out about the betrayal being Kyle’s idea, and even then his response is not to engage with Cartman but to leave.
Which brings me to my other thought. I’ve talked at length about Stan and Kyle’s interactions in the Black Friday trilogy in another post about their relationship, but something else occurred to me last night. We already know that the difference between Stan and Kyle in these eps is that Kyle literally sees it as JUST about the console war and playing Game of Thrones, but to Stan the whole thing is actually very personal and a test of friendship. We also know that their friendship has been on a decline for a while now. But I think these episodes actually tie back to Guitar Queero in a pretty significant way. Stan in THAT episode initially acted like it was more about the game than their friendship, at least until he spiraled, while Kyle was the one who was like “I guess I didn't realize it was just about the points" and was incredibly hurt by Stan’s betrayal. SO in the Black Friday trilogy I think Kyle is purposefully treating it as just about the game, because he thinks that’s what Stan is doing too. But this time Stan's the one who's viewing it as a serious thing on which their friendship hangs in the balance. So in conclusion, they’re both dramatic.
Anyway those are my stray observations from last night.
#rewatching the series always leads to this#south park#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#stan marsh#kenny mccormick#butters stotch#sp meta#my meta
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