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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 1 month

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Just Keep Breathing

Sam and Dean & little sister!reader, Castiel & Winchester!reader, Rowena & Winchester!reader

Requested by Anonymous (x2)

Synopsis: You get sick from a mysterious illness, and you just can’t seem to get better.

“Finally!”

Dean’s voice was the first you heard as you stumbled into the bunker after an insanely long school day. You were somehow sweating and freezing at the same time, and it felt like you might collapse any second.

“Grab a book, there’s a ton of lore to go through,” Dean continued. “We’re looking for more info on witches, seems like there might be…” Dean’s voice trailed off when he looked up to see you all but slumping down the stairs. “Hey kid, you ok?”

“Mm-hmm,” you huffed in response as your backpack dropped to the floor—had you done that? You didn’t remember making the decision to take it off, it seemed to just fall off your slumped shoulders on its own.

“Ok, commere.” You blinked and there was Dean, his hand lifting to your forehead and his brow drawn in concern. “Jeez, you’re burning up.”

At Dean’s words, Sam looked up.

“She’s sick?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Dean removed his hand and lowered himself to one knee to look at your downturned, unfocused gaze. “Sweetheart, look at me.”

You tried to focus on Dean’s eyes, but your gaze refused to settle.

“Yeah ok,” Dean sighed. “Let’s get you to bed.”

You let Dean lead you to your room and tuck you into bed. He even helped you take your shoes off when your fingers fumbled with the laces.

“Did you eat today?” Dean asked as you settled in.

“I…” you wracked your befuddled brain. “I had lunch…but then I threw it up sometime after sixth period.”

“Ok.” Dean cringed. “You get some sleep, I’m gonna go make you food.”

“Nooo.”

Dean turned in surprise at your desperate whine.

“What? What’s wrong?”

You grabbed at his sleeve and tugged.

“Don’t go,” you sniffled. “I don’t want food, I just want you to stay.”

“Ok, ok,” Dean relented, figuring that once you were asleep he could make you something. “You better not get me sick,” he said, only half kidding, as he sat on your bed. When you reached out to him, he went to put his arms around you, but the second his hands touched you, you flinched away.

“That hurts!” You were starting to cry now as you backed away from your brother.

“What hurts?” Dean was baffled. “I barely even…” he trailed off as he pressed the back of his hand to your head again, ignoring the way you hissed and tried to flinch away from him. “Jeesh, it’s even worse now,” Dean mumbled. “Just lay back now, you gotta get some sleep, ok?”

“Don’t go,” you begged.

“I’m not going anywhere, just take it easy sweetheart,” Dean promised. “Get some rest.”

Dean waited until he was sure you were asleep before he went to talk to Sam.

“She asleep?” Sam asked, not even looking up from the lore book he was studying.

“Yeah…” Dean’s voice trailed off as he stood there awkwardly for a moment. “Sam, something’s wrong.”

“Wrong? What, with Y/N?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how to explain it…she was getting hot so fast, and when I tried to touch her, it was like I burned her or something. I don’t know, I guess I can’t be sure, but something about her getting sick doesn’t feel…normal.”

“Ok.” Sam nodded. “Well, you call around at the school and see if there’s a bug going around. I’m gonna hit the lore a bit more.”

The boys didn’t speak as they got to work.

…

Sam was heading to the kitchen when he heard you calling for him. He detoured into your room, his heart constructing when he saw you—you were pale and sweaty, the sheets sticking to your skin. He couldn’t tell if your cheeks were glistening from tears or sweat—it was obvious you were in pain.

“Hey honey,” he greeted gently. “Did you need something?”

“Can you stay with me?” You pleaded. Sam didn’t hesitate, coming over to sit on your bed. You reached out to hold his hand, but when your fingers touched his you hissed and pulled away.

“Something wrong?” Sam asked, remembering what Dean had said.

“It hurts.” Now there was no mistaking the tears on your face for sweat—Sam had never seen you so upset and in pain. “It’s like-like my skin is on fire and-and I just want a hug but when anybody touches me it just—it just gets worse.” You were out of breath and choking on your words by the end, and it took every ounce of Sam’s will to ignore his big brother instinct and not pull you into his arms—the last thing he wanted was to hurt you worse.

“Stay right here, I’m coming right back,” Sam said as he stood. You didn’t say anything, you just watched curiously—and a little worried—as Sam left. Sure enough, he returned a minute later with a bowl full of water and a glove.

“Ok, I’m gonna try something, hold still,” Sam instructed.

You started to giggle when Sam pulled the glove on and plunged his hand in the bowl. He grinned at you, happy to hear you laughing again.

“Ok now, hold still,” Sam insisted. “This is serious.” But he was still grinning as he took his dripping, gloved hand and pressed it against your forehead. “How does that feel?”

You closed your eyes in contentment as the cool water hit your skin and the gentle cloth brushed against your forehead.

“Better,” you told Sam with a smile. “Thanks, Sammy.”

“Anytime,” Sam said.

The two of you stayed like that for most of the afternoon, with Sam comforting you and trying to cool you off with the wet glove. Sam was determined to do anything he could to make you feel better while Dean was trying to investigate the cause of your illness. He’d also been calling Cas all day, but he hadn’t gotten an answer.

Dean was just about to give up on the books and catch a few hours of sleep when he heard Sam calling for him. He followed the sound to your room, where he found his little siblings resting on your bed.

“Can you sing me a song?” You asked, shyly picking at your sheets.

“Uhm…” Dean swallowed, a little uncomfortable. “Sure sweetheart.”

Sam relented his spot next to you so that Dean could climb in. He started off just humming “Hey Jude,” and within minutes you were fast asleep.

“You were right, Dean,” Sam said when he was sure you were asleep. “I don’t know what it is but—but it’s bad.”

“Ok well we don’t need to panic,” Dean assured him, noticing Sam’s rising anxiety. “She’s been sick before, let’s just give it a little longer and see what happens. Maybe Cas’ll finally come around and set her straight.”

“I don’t remember,” Sam mumbled.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Her getting sick. I barely ever remember her being sick.”

“Dad always sent you to school whether she was sick or not. I usually stayed behind to take care of her.” A ghost of a smile passed across Dean’s lips. “Most of the time I had to convince dad that I’d caught whatever she had so that he’d let me stay with her. I never wanted to leave her when she was sick.”

Sam was quiet for a long moment before a thought occurred to him.

“I don’t ever remember you sick.”

At this, Dean shrugged.

“I usually just powered through it. I had a job to do, after all.”

Sam was about to comment on that when his eyes suddenly snapped to you.

“Dean, is…is she breathing?” Dean jumped up as Sam moved closer to you. “Dean she’s not breathing!”

Dean blocked Sam from getting in the way and grabbed hold of your shoulders.

“Hey…hey!”

You jolted awake when Deans shook you, taking a great gulp of air the moment you were awake.

“Hey…ok…” Dean breathed a sigh of relief, holding you in his arms until he heard you crying as you tried to pull away. “You ok?” He asked as he let you go.

“It still hurts,” you sniffled. “What…what happened?”

“You stopped breathing,” Sam said. “It…jeez kid, you scared us.”

Dean noticed that your breaths still sounded labored.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“It…it kinda hurts,” you muttered almost to yourself as you rubbed at your chest.

“Breathing?” Sam met Dean’s eyes—they were terrified.

Your only response was a tiny nod as you continued to take shallow breaths.

“I’m gonna try Cas again,” Dean said, standing from your bed.

“I’m…” Sam hesitated, as though he didn’t want to tell Dean what he was thinking. “I’m gonna call Rowena.”

“Rowena?” Dean demanded. “Why?”

“Because we don’t know what this is, Dean!” Sam insisted. “For all we know, she got cursed! We were looking into witch activity in the area. Maybe Rowena can help.”

Dean backed off.

“Fine. Call her.”

…

“I can’t heal her.”

“That’s because it’s a spell, you idiot.”

“I can’t be sure of that.”

“Well I can!”

“Ok, ok,” Dean interrupted Rowena and Cas’s argument. “This isn’t helping anything. Rowena, what can you do?”

“Not much I’m afraid,” Rowena sighed. “I can’t undo the spell.”

“Well can you at least tell us what the spell is?” Sam cut in before Dean had a chance to get angry.

“That’s easy enough. It seems to be some kind of…anti-body spell.”

“What does that mean?” Dean demanded.

“It means that her body is slowly starting to reject what it needs or wants the most. Basic needs like food, water, probably even sleep, will start to hurt her.”

“It hurt when I touched her skin,” Sam interrupted.

Rowena shrugged, and continued. “I suppose the need or desire for physical affection counts. It will get worse, though. Things that she can’t live without will be too painful for her to do. Eventually even breathing will be unbearable.”

“It already hurts to breathe.” Everyone had all but forgotten you were there until you made yourself known. Your voice came out in a terrified whisper, but everyone heard you clearly.

“We’re gonna fix it,” Dean asserted. “All we have to do is find the witch, right? Then kill her.”

“It might not be that simple,” Rowena sighed. “I mean, it could’ve been anyone. For all we know, they put a spell on Y/N to make her forget them.”

“Then what are we gonna do?!” Dean demanded.

“You and Cas try to find that witch,” Sam jumped in, trying to find a way to keep panic down. “We already have a head start, since we were pretty sure one was in the area anyway. You know where most of the strange activity was, start there. Rowena and I will stay here, try and see if there’s an undo spell.”

Dean didn’t hesitate to agree. If he wasn’t so preoccupied worrying over you, he would’ve been very proud of Sam, stepping up while he was panicking. Now that Dean had a direction, he was calmer—he was ready.

“Ok. Let’s go.”

…

“Please don’t leave me.”

Dean and Cas had already left, and Rowena and Sam were halfway out of your room when you tear-strained voice reached Sam. He turned to face you, and his resolve to hit the books in the library crumbled when he saw you, shaking in fear and taking shallow, painful breaths.

“Bring me some books to look through,” he muttered to Rowena before coming to sit on your bed.

It was silent in your room for a few deafening seconds, before your shattered gaze met Sam’s and you spoke, breaking his heart.

“I don’t wanna die, Sammy.”

“Hey,” Sam turned to face you, resisting once again the urge to pull you into his arms. “Me and Dean are never gonna let that happen. You know that, right?”

“It-it hurts to breathe,” you cried. “And it keeps getting worse. I don’t—I don’t know how long I can do it.”

“Hey, hey…” Sam was reaching for you when he remembered that that would only make you hurt worse. His hand froze in the air, halfway to your face. “I…” Sam‘s voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Don’t…don’t say that, ok? You have to keep fighting, ok? We’re gonna find a way to fix this, but you just have to keep fighting.” Sam was so desperate to hug you that he pulled his sleeves over his hand to cover his skin and pulled you into his arms. You allowed it for several seconds, wanting so desperately to just sink into his arms. But you couldn’t.

“That…” you struggled to get the words out; you didn’t want to say them. “That hurts, too, Sammy.”

Sam flinched back like he’d been shot, looking down at you in utter defeat.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

The despair in the room was total.

…

“I’ve got it!”

Sam regretted his outburst when you jolted awake. Rowena had warned the both of you that sleeping might end up making you hurt more rather than feel better, but you had all but passed out from exhaustion and pain, and Sam didn’t have the heart to stop you. Even in sleep, or body and face twitched in pain periodically.

Now that you were awake, it was obvious that Rowena was right; it had made it worse.

“What—“ your breathing was labored as each breath pained you. “What happened?”

Rowena stepped into the room, having heard Sam’s declaration.

“I found the spell,” Sam insisted, holding the book up. Rowena approached him with a dubious frown. However, once she started to read the spell she slowly nodded.

“This might just do it,” she said.

“I’m gonna call Dean.”

…

Dean and Cas returned within an hour.

“Not a single lead,” Dean said, annoyed. “So this had better work.”

“Let’s hope so,” Sam sighed, looking at Rowena. She nodded.

“It’s a good thing that this bunker is well-stocked,” she said. “I believe we’re running out of time.”

Your gaze turned downwards when everyone glanced at you at Rowena’s words. Sure enough, your breaths had been getting shallower and shorter in your failed attempts to make them hurt less. You were also weak and pale from the lack of food and water you’d had over the past two days.

“Do it.” Dean was the first to look away from you as he spoke to Rowena.

Rowena handed you a cup filled with a mixture of herbs and things you didn’t want to know about. Your lip was quivering as you lifted the cup to your lips—you’d avoided food and water for a reason; if breathing was like a stab to the chest, how would swallowing down a potion feel?

Sam’s heart was breaking as he watched you struggle to swallow through the pain, and Dean couldn’t even look.

As soon as you had the potion down, Rowena started reading a Latin incantation from the book. Sam watched you carefully as Rowena finished it. He crossed his fingers behind his back, holding his breath as he hoped that your own would become less labored. Instead, your eyes widened in surprise as your breaths became even more panicked.

“What’s happening?” Dean demanded, his eyes flashing from you to Rowena. “What did you do?!”

“I-I don’t understand…” Rowena muttered, flipping through the book. “It should have…”

“Sam…De…” you whimpered.

Dean’s panicked eyes met Sam’s, then yours, before they went back to Rowena.

“Found it!” Rowena breathed relief, before her eyes once again clouded with worry. “Oh no.”

“What?” Sam and Dean demanded in unison.

“The-the counterspell…it takes an hour to work, and as it works through the curse, the curse…fights back.”

“What does that mean?” Dean’s breathing sounded almost as labored as yours as he struggled to keep down his fear as well as his anger.

“It means that it’ll get worse before it gets better. If we…if we had found this at the beginning, it would’ve worked easily, but…”

“But she might not survive an hour like this,” Cas finished for Rowena, realizing what she was saying before either brother.

“What can we do?” Sam asked.

“Nothing.” Rowena shook her head. “This spell was her only hope, so…so we just have to wait and see if she outlasts the curse now. It shouldn’t take any more than an hour.”

“Ok,” Dean said, coming to sit by you. “You can do this kiddo, ok? We’re gonna be right here, you’re gonna be fine.”

The seconds crawled by one eternity at a time. Every time Dean thought you couldn’t look more in pain, your face twisted again as you tried over and over to take a deep enough breath to satisfy your starving lungs. Once it reached fifteen minutes left, Dean noticed that every minute or so you stopped breathing completely.

“Hey, c’mon.” Dean resisted the urge to cup your face. “C’mon keep breathing, you can do it.”

Suddenly you were reaching your arms out to Dean, and he was backing away.

“I-I don’t want to hurt you,” Dean said.

“Don’t…care,” You whimpered. “I…n-need y—“ you couldn’t seem to get out full words, but Dean didn’t need anything more.

“Ok, yeah.” You were in Dean’s arms in a second. “Ok, I’m here sweetheart. I’m here, you just gotta keep breathing. Keep breathing for me.”

You burrowed against your big brother despite the pain, trying all you could to keep breathing. The pain was so blindingly unbearable that you started to feel your vision blur and blacken. Sam was the first to notice you drooping in Dean’s arms, and he reached down and pulled your face away from Dean’s chest so he could look at you.

“Hey, you gotta stay awake honey,” Sam insisted.

“Don’t let her sleep!” Rowena commanded. “Her body will stop breathing automatically if she passes out.”

“Hey, hey,” Dean’s gentle taps to your face felt like full-on punches, but they did the trick. Your eyes fluttered open once more, and your hands gripped onto Dean even harder. Sam had joined Dean on your bed, his one arm wrapped around your shoulders from behind while Dean continued to hold you in his lap. Their touch was like fire on your skin, but never had a burn been so welcome.

“Keep breathing,” Dean was repeating over and over, and without that mantra you truly would have stopped ten minutes ago.

“Seven more minutes,” Cas announced.

You went to take another small breath, and you couldn’t keep the cry of pain in when it was the worst pain yet. It hit you so hard that you felt the darkness returning.

“No no no, hey,” Dean pleaded. “Breathe kiddo, you’ve gotta keep breathing.”

You’d barely even noticed that you stopped. It felt so good to stop. The pain of your unfilled lungs wasn’t nearly as horrible as the pain of breathing.

The relief was so great that you barely even felt when the blackness finally took over, and you slumped in Dean’s arms.

…

“No no no no…” Dean was shaking you over and over, but you were out cold. “Come on, breathe!”

“Six minutes,” Castiel said.

“She won’t last that long,” Sam breathed.

“It-it’s not an exact science,” Rowena cut in. “It might…maybe it will work a little faster.”

With nothing else to do, the four watched, barely breathing, as your body lay unnaturally still on your bed. Cas was watching his watch like a guard dog, counting the seconds until you would have brain damage…until you could die…

The great, gasping breath that escaped your lips as you sat up had all four onlookers nearly crying in relief. Sam and Dean had already been crying, but even the witch and the angel couldn’t hold in their emotions anymore as you began to breathe deeply again, tears of relief streaming down your own face.

Dean held you in his arms without fear, and you clung to him without pain. Sam’s arm was still around your shoulders—he hadn’t moved an inch.

“You’re ok,” Dean breathed as you cried on his shirt, and no one was sure if he was reassuring you or himself. “You’re ok sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

You refused to let go of your brothers, having spent two days unable to take comfort in them when you needed them most. The three of you stayed like that for so long that eventually Rowena left, but Cas stayed to watch over the Winchesters he had sworn to protect—to watch over the one he’d almost lost.

He watched silently as the three siblings fell asleep—you first, then Sam, then—once he was sure that his little brother and sister were ok—finally Dean.

He watched, knowing that they had almost lost everything today.

He watched, knowing that they would only be closer because of it.

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apocalypseornaw · 3 months

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It's Real

Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean's back from Michael, everything should be ok but he's staying locked up in his room so you make it a point to find out why.

Smut with feelings

Dean was back. Michael was gone and Dean was back but it felt as if he was still gone. The moment he'd staggered in that door it'd taken everything in you to not rush straight to him. Once you were sure it was him you'd nearly dove into his arms. He'd hugged you tight, whispering in your ear “It's ok sweetheart, I'm ok”

Everything seemed ok on the ride back to the bunker, yeah Dean was a little on the quiet side but considering you could understand. When you parked and got out the impala he was even teasing Sam about his beard as the three of you walked into the bunker from the garage. The moment he walked into the war room and Sam was greeted with “Chief” and you with “Cap” you could see the wall slam into place but you weren't sure why.

In the last week you'd seen Dean a handful of times and that was when you happened to be in the hallway when he headed for a shower or the one to make a run into town and he wanted the snacks he'd added to the list.

Every time you tried to talk to him he shut you down and it was driving you insane. Yeah he'd been through a lot and yeah it was his default setting to not talk about his feelings but not with you. Any other time he let you in but not this time.

—-------------

You were sparring with a few hunters from the apocalypse world and had somehow managed to draw a crowd. Ryker and Tyler towered over you in height and Vivian was fast as hell but you were holding your own against the three of them.

You took Tyler out at the knees then ducked under Rykers arm, catching it and using his own momentum to flip him on his back then nodded to Vivian.

You went blow for blow with her but she happened to misstep one time and that was all you needed to pin her. When you offered her a hand up she took it with a grin “Damn Cap who taught you to fight?” You shrugged “I've taken self defense classes mixed with sparring with Sam and Dean along with on the job learning”

She nodded “Think Dean will join us? I'd love to see you two spar” you didn't want to tell her he was avoiding you at all cost so you just smiled “I'll ask” you turned to grab your water bottle then headed to your room so you could grab a shower.

Dean knew he needed to integrate himself with the hunters inhabiting the bunker but he didn't know how many more times he could see you and Sam working shoulder to shoulder, sharing inside jokes with a look and leading an entire squadron of hunters together.

He'd heard a few of the hunters talking about how “Cap” and “Chief” were always together, always worked every lead together, stayed up researching together and “Most of the time end up falling asleep together” one of the younger refugees from the apocalypse world had deemed you two a power couple and that was the straw Dean had to hear to know he needed to resign himself to his room for a while.

He'd lost you. Fifteen years of friendship, ten years of wanting you, eight years of loving you. If he'd just said something sooner, hadn't been afraid of losing you as his friend but now he'd lost you to his little brother and he couldn't even be angry, no matter the jealousy eating at him.

You stepped into the hall and saw Sam had just come out of Dean's room. When he shut the door behind himself he spotted you so you raised your eyebrows “How is he?” He shrugged “He's watching horror movies and has pizza and beer”

You glanced at Dean's door then asked “Why won't he come out the room? He barely talks to me or anyone for that matter when he does” Sam's eyes softened at your words “Maybe it's time you do that thing you always do with us”

You waved a hand, asking for an explanation and he laughed “You never let us wallow for long. He won't react to me, Cas, hell even mom. He needs you whether he admits it or not” you laughed “You mean he needs someone as stubborn as he is to out stubborn him?” He nodded “Exactly”

You looked from him to Dean's door then nodded “Wish me luck” he patted your shoulder “Good luck” then headed down the hall.

—---------------

Dean heard a knock at his door and figured it was Sam again “Sammy, I said I'm good” the door creaked open and your face popped around it “Good to know. Can I come in?”

He tried to ignore the way his chest clenched at your smile. “Of course sweetheart. C'mon” he watched you shut the door then walk further into the room, kicking your boots off before walking over to the bed.

You grabbed a slice of pizza from the table near the bed then climbed in the bed, laying sideways with your head on his back so you could see the TV considering he was laying on his stomach “Comfy?” He asked with a laugh once you'd taken his beer out of his hand and took a swig before turning back to the pizza “Very much so. You're a wonderful pillow”

You shouldn't be in his bed, shouldn't be laying against him. If you and Sam were…well he didn't want to think too hard about it but he wasn't the type of man to take another man's woman, especially his little brother's. He told himself it was innocent enough. The two of you had done this dozens of times over the years even if this time his mind was running a lot faster than normal.

—-------------

You lay like that through the entirety of Halloween two and halfway through Freddy versus Jason before your mouth had a mind of its own “I miss you Dean. For weeks we had no idea where you were then by some turn Michael let you go and now you're home but I still miss you. You're pulling away from me, from everyone and I don't want to lose you again. You mean too much to me”

He looked over his shoulder at you and grabbed one of your hands, giving it a light squeeze “I'm here sweetheart. I just don't want to take up too much of your time. You got a lot going on Cap” you rolled your eyes at the nickname you'd been dubbed with “I've always got enough time for you. Talk to me”

He let go of your hand then pushed himself back so he could turn to face you as he sat up.“I miss you too but this, coming home to this is a lot” “What do you mean? The hunters?”

He nodded “The hunters, you and Sam. You two are a unit, you run this whole operation like clockwork. You've built something and I don't know where I fit now” you smiled slightly “You fit with us Dean. You and Sam are the most important people to me”

He sighed “But you and him are more or it feels that way” you knew the confusion was clear across your face because he just shook his head “Never mind. Can we just go back to the movie?” You nodded “Yeah, sure”

—-------‐—----------

He laid back down on his stomach and this time you laid down next to him instead of on his back. You had no clue what he meant about you and Sam being more? Had someone said something to make him feel that way? You’d been running on damn near empty for weeks, Mary had taken to hiding your car keys to force you into eating and sleeping and when that didn't work she'd bring in the big guns and threaten to call Jody.

Sam hadn't fared much better. The two of you had been doing everything you could to keep each other's heads above water. Dean was the person who raised Sam, he'd always been the most important person to him. As for yourself, you loved the man laying next to you. He'd claimed your heart years ago whether he knew it or not. Your chest had felt hollow knowing the man you loved was being used by some dickheaded angel.

You reached for his hand closest to you, running your fingertips over the back of his hand. He smiled slightly then it was like his mood changed and he pulled his hand away.

“Sorry” you murmured and moved to sit up but he was already grabbing your wrist to keep you on the bed “Wait sweetheart. Fuck” you sat down in front of him and he turned to face you “Just talk to me Dean. Whatever is going on, we can fix it”

—---------------------

He shook his head, hand dropping your wrist. “I know you and Sam have gotten even closer since I've been gone”

You smiled slightly “Well yeah, leading a bunch of wayward hunters and hunting down some douchey archangel to get you back will do that to ya. Still doesn't explain the change between me and you. Dean you're my best friend, you've always talked to me and now you're shutting me out. I'm not used to it and I don't like it”

He hated seeing the pain in your eyes and knowing he was the cause of it. He sighed “I know you're with Sam” your head tilted to the side and you stared at him for a moment before you began to laugh. After a moment you covered your mouth with your hand then took a few deep breaths. He was confused as hell but figured you'd give an explanation “Oh Dean, honey you are so smart at times but so damn dumb at others”

“What?” You shook your head “Me and Sam have gotten closer yeah but not like that. Someone else has my heart and it ain't Sammy” his eyes flew to your face “Then who?” You shook your head again “Doesn't matter just know it's not your little brother”

He reached forward, cupping your chin with his hand “No way are you gonna tell me some lucky bastard has your heart then not tell me who” you wouldn't meet his eyes so he used his grip on you to turn your face where you had no choice. “You honestly have no idea do you?” You sounded almost sad when you asked and he felt his heart skip.

Did you mean him? “You have no idea how hard it's been with you not being here Dean. How many times I cried myself to sleep laying against Sam's chest because I knew he was the only person who could come close to knowing the pain I felt. You're his brother, you've been his parent and protector his whole life and I knew he was only person here who loved you anywhere as much as I do”

“You love me?” He damn near whispered and you nodded “How could I not?”

—-------------------

One moment you were spilling your heart out and the next Dean was claiming your lips in a hungry kiss. You were stunned for a moment then returned the kiss fully, when you felt his tongue slip into your mouth you gasped lightly and he used that to roll his tongue against yours. The heat roaring to life against every inch of your body from just a kiss seemed damn near impossible but this was Dean.

Holy hell this was Dean. You just confessed your feelings and instead of bolting he was kissing you in a way that had the wetness between your legs growing by the moment.

When you were finally forced apart for air he leaned his forehead against yours, both of your chests heaving. “Not what I was expecting” you teased breathlessly and he chuckled “Sweetheart, I've been locked up in this room because the thought of you with Sam…I couldn't take it. You're supposed to be mine. The jealousy has been eating me alive, imagining you with him”

You pulled back from him and grinned “You were jealous?” He nodded “Damn right I was. I've loved you for years and the thought that out of all people my little brother would be the one to take you from me? I hated it” you laughed “In that case, come here”

“No, you come here” he grabbed you by the hips pulling you towards him and turned putting your back down on the bed. He held his weight on his forearms as he hovered over you, catching your lips in another kiss. “Dean” you spoke and he pulled back to look you in the eyes and saw the love and desire there “I want you, please” he smiled “Never beg for me baby. Just tell me what you want” “I want you. All of you”

—----------------

Dean let out a low groan at your words. Fuck, the power you held over him. “You've got me” He promised, catching your lips again. He felt your hands slip under his shirt, silently asking for more access to him. He broke away from your lips long enough to pull the henley he wore off and toss it across the room.

The way you looked at him was like nothing he'd ever experienced. You let your hands trail across his chest, nails scratching lightly “I've always loved your chest, your arms” your praise of his body unlocked something in him. Fuck he loved it. You leaned up to place a kiss at the hollow of his throat and his eyes fluttered shut at the intimacy of the moment.

When he opened them your eyes were on him, a small smile on your face “No more running from me?” He smiled “No more running” he reached for your shirt so you arched your back off the bed to help him remove it. He tossed it behind him and looked down at you “You're so damn gorgeous”

He crashed his lips against yours and felt your hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer to you. He rolled his hips into yours and the moan you let out was better than anything he'd ever heard.

—-------------

You broke away from Dean's lips your need for air winning in the moment. He kissed down your jaw and to your neck. He pushed your hair back and attacked your neck, kissing and biting the skin there. Your grip on his shoulders tightened “Fuck Dean”

He moved down your neck, kissing across your clothed chest before looking up at you through those long lashes. He held your eyes as he rolled one breast into his mouth, grazing the sensitive bud with his teeth and enjoying when your breath caught in your throat. His hands slipped under you and you felt the bra give way before he was pulling it off of you and tossing it, giving him full access to your chest.

“Look at you” he whispered, tongue flicking out to tease at one of your nipples while his fingers of his other hand teased the other. Your fingers slid into his hair, eyes fluttering shut at the pleasure coursing through you.

He bit down on your nipple and when your eyes flew open he smirked “Cmon baby I'm just starting. I want your eyes on me” “So damn bossy” you teased and he winked at you “You must like me being bossy” “I love it” you admitted watching him kiss down your stomach.

When he got to your jeans he looked up at you “Are you sure about this? About us?” You rolled your eyes and lifted your hips off the bed as you unzipped your jeans and started to shimmy them down your hips. He laughed lightly before you felt his hands cover yours as he helped you rid your legs of your jeans then slid your panties off as well.

—-----------

“Look at my girl” he whispered in awe. “All yours Dean. What are you gonna do with me now that you've got me?” The look he gave you was enough to make your entire body feel like you were on fire. The promises there, the desire, the love. “Devour you” his voice was somehow deeper than usual, lust driving it down.

He started at one ankle, kissing up your leg then your thighs stopping just shy of where you wanted him. When you let out a rather pathetic sounding whine he just laughed darkly “I've waited long enough to have you like this, let me enjoy it”

He moved to the other leg, repeating the process. This time when he got where you wanted him he glanced up at your face before lowering his mouth to you. The first lick was tentative, teasing but when your hips bucked and a moan of his name fell from your lips it was like a switch flipped. He dove in, a perfect mixture of teeth and tongue working you closer and closer to that edge.

He slipped first one finger then added a second,easily finding that spot inside of you that made your legs begin to shake. When his lips locked around your clit at the same time his fingers found that spot your eyes rolled back and your vision went white. The pleasure was like nothing you'd ever experienced, waves after waves of it washing over you as Dean pulled two orgasms back to back from you.

—-------------

When you weakly shoved at his shoulders he pulled back,leaving feather light kisses on your inner thighs “What's wrong sweetheart? Too much?” You wanted to glare at him but knew it wouldn't be very believable. “How the fuck did you do that?” He grinned “Guess no other man has ever made you come back to back before?” You shook your head and he laughed “Good”

You shook your head and reached for his shoulders “C'mere” he kissed his way back up to your body and when he got to your lips you could taste yourself on him. “Your jeans are still on!” You nearly whined and he laughed “Let me fix that”

—--------------

He stood up and when he moved to unzip his jeans and push them off his hips you stopped him from climbing back onto the bed. You sat up and reached for him. He moved closer and when your hand slipped under the material of his boxers to wrap around his hard cock he swore under his breath. You slid the boxers down his legs and he stepped out of them.

You'd always figured Dean was well endowed but seeing it, feeling it in your hand was different. You lowered your mouth to the tip, licking around the head to collect the precum then pulling more of him into your mouth. Your hand worked what of him you couldn't fit as you swirled your tongue over the vein running up his shaft. His head fell back with a groan, his fingers went to your hair, pushing it back from your face, holding it back.

You could feel the tension in his hips so you tapped his hips letting him know it was ok. He gave a tentative thrust of his hips and when you hollow out your cheeks to allow more of him down your throat he moaned “Fuck you're perfect” he gave a few hard thrusts into your mouth and you took it, swallowing around him and feeling him tense.

“Fuck baby” he pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop, using his thumb to swipe the spit from your chin “That was amazing but I don't plan to come anywhere expect inside of you tonight”

—-------------

You scooted back up the bed and he climbed between your legs settling himself there. You could feel his cock nudging at your inner thigh, he hesitated “You're sure?” You nearly growled “Dean Winchester. I fucking love you, I want this I want you! Now for the love of everything fuck me already”

He laughed lightly and in one roll of his hips buried himself inside of you. You gasped at the fullness you felt, the stretch from how long it'd been since you were with someone else and just how big he was. He left a trail of open mouthed kisses across your jaw.

After a moment the stretch gave way so you let your legs fall apart further before hooking them around his waist. He took that as the go ahead and gave a deep roll of his hips, when the answer was your nails biting into his shoulders he placed a searing kiss against your lips before moving to press his forehead against yours.

There was something so damn intimate about looking into his eyes while he was so damn deep inside of you. “This is real, isn't it?” He asked and you moved one hand from his shoulder to cup his jaw, understanding the underlying question “It's real Dean. You're here with me”

He turned his head to kiss the palm of your hand “I love you” you moved your hand back to his shoulder and he kiss you, this one wasn't as hungry as others but it made down to your toes tingle and he gave a hard thrust hitting that spot inside of you with the head of his cock.

—--------------

When your back arched up, pressing your breasts into his chest his thrusts started to get harder and deeper. “Please don't stop” you begged, the pleasure building in your stomach threatening to steal your vision yet again. “Wasn't planning on it” he said, pulling your legs up to his shoulders and nearly folding you in half.

The new angle had you practically screaming his name. The knowledge that he was strong enough to manhandle you like you were nothing drove you crazy. His cock was so damn big and the angle meant he was hitting that spot with every damn thrust. The pleasure was so intense it was borderline pain but better than anything you'd ever experienced.

His hips snapped into yours and you could feel how close you were. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight circles “Let me feel you baby. I'm so damn close but I need to feel you”

You felt that pleasure burst as your vision went soft around the edges and a hoarse scream of his name fell from your lips. You could feel his thrusts begin to falter so you gripped his shoulders tightly “Fuck Dean, i want to feel you. Please baby” his face was buried in the bend of your neck and when he buried himself inside of you with one final thrusts the feeling of him coming made a smaller orgasm wash over you, causing your walls to clench down around his cock causing a curse of your name to fall from his lips as well.

—-----------------

He gently eased your legs down, rubbing them gently before pulling out of you. You gasped and he smiled almost shyly “Sorry” you grinned at him sleepily “That was everything Dean”

His smile deepened before he placed a tender kiss on your lips “Let me clean you up a bit” he found his shirt and cleaned you up as best as he could before tossing it at the hamper in the corner.

—-----------

When he climbed back in bed next to you he asked “Do you need anything? Water? Bodypart massaged?” You shook your head and moved over to be laying halfway on his chest “Just need you to hold me” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. You were almost asleep before a thought occurred to you and you started laughing.

You looked up to see he was staring at you like you'd grown a second head “Baby are you ok?” You nodded “There's like thirty hunters here that probably heard that”

He grinned “Well at least they clearly know you're mine and I'm yours” you grinned “damn right. Now kiss your girl so we can both get some sleep” “Yes ma'am” he replied pulling you into a kiss.

Tagging those who told me to write it lol @deans-baby-momma @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @daughterofapollo-7 @littlemadamred

#dean winchester smut #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction

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lil13 · 1 year

Text

Pov: Enemies to lovers. Specifically, Ethan is your academic rival and you absolutely hate him. Or so you think.

•

You walked through the door of Sam, Tara, and Quinn’s New York apartment with Mindy and Anika in tow. Mindy was your roommate, someone you’ve known since preschool, so it wasn’t a question that the two of you would be roommates.

“T, please tell me this is going to be a girl’s night.” You asked, falling down on the couch you had taken 1 too many naps on over the past few months you all lived in the city.

After the most recent stabbings, you all managed to get into a summer program at Blackmore. The excuse was that you wanted to get ahead in college, but the real reason was you all couldn’t stand to be in Woodsboro any longer.

A blush rose on Tara’s cheeks and you knew that your girl’s night was in jeopardy. “Chad… might be coming.”

“If he brings his fucking, smart ass roommate i’m leaving.”

Mindy scoffed, sitting down on the couch with you. “Relax, Y/n, if he brings him, just ignore him. I don’t understand the beef between you two… I know why I don’t like him.”

The girl Meeks-Martin twin claimed that Ethan Landry — Chad’s roommate and your self-proclaimed mortal enemy — was not to be trusted. Ever since Amber and Richie, Mindy rarely trusted another person.

“There are a lot of reasons as to why I hate him, but one of them has to do with our Econ class.”

Sam handed you a beer, knowing you needed to be somewhat buzzed if the curly-headed boy was coming over. “Econ?”

“Yes, Econ, he’s… too good at it.” You scoffed, “He consistently has the highest average in the class and—”

“You’re not used to being second to anyone.” Tara connected the dots, clinking her beer bottle with yours.

You had been the Valedictorian in high school, #1 overall. So, coming to Blackmore and having this curly-headed boy so easily beat you out aggravated you. Since you realized he was your academic rival, you began finding more and more about him that bothered you. That way you’d hate him instead of only being jealous of him.

Jealousy bothered you.

On a list of things about the boy that bothered you:

His hair was too curly.

He was too nice.

He remembered details about everyone, down to their favorite m&m color.

He was a virgin.

He was insanely attractive, yet still single.

His study habits didn’t make sense, he got perfect grades and she had yet to actually see him study (but then again you didn’t try to see him at all).

You could go on and on.

“Knock, knock.” Chad’s voice rang through the apartment.

Two sets of footsteps could be heard and you groaned, Ethan had in fact tagged along. You chugged the rest of your beer, letting the alcohol course through your veins. Sam obviously saw this and brought you another, having it already opened for you.

“If I was into girls, Sam.” he winked at her and she laughed.

Chad and Ethan both sat on the couch and Quinn made you sit up to make room for the rest. Unfortunately for you, when you sat up, Ethan was directly next to you.

“For fucks sake.” you muttered, sinking back into the couch.

Tara and Mindy fought over the movie you all were to watch and you somehow landed on a scary movie you hadn’t heard of, but it was a group thing — you only watched scary movies.

Mindy and Anika were cuddled up and so were Tara and Chad. Quinn and Sam flanked the rest of the group. You and Ethan? You were dreading being in the same room as each other.

Time went and the week’s events and your now 3 beers had caught up with you, you were exhausted and somewhat drunk. Everyone was asleep and you couldn’t help but think how good of an idea it was.

You’d had a busy week, midterms had kicked your ass. You might’ve only slept an average of 3 hours each night. So, sitting still for an extended period of time made sleep want to come quicker. You gave in and let your head fall to the side, not even caring that it landed on Ethan’s shoulder.

“Y/N.” Ethan muttered, trying to make sure you were aware that you had your head on his shoulder — knowing of your hatred toward him.

Unbeknownst to you, the hatred was very much one sided. Ethan had the biggest crush on you. It was almost embarrassing, truly he wondered how you hadn’t noticed yet.

You were one of the main reasons as to why he was still single.

“Shut the fuck up, E.” you waved him off, “I’m aware you’re who i’m laying on, but everyone else is too far away.”

The movie continued to play and you got yourself comfortable, more of your body now lay on Ethan’s. You tried to ignore the feeling that surged through your body at the contact between your bodies. Your bodies were so close that Ethan’s hand almost had to rest on your thigh, you gave him no space to put it anywhere else.

Your eyes were pulled away from the screen when you felt movement on your thigh. Ethan was absentmindedly tapping on your leg and for some reason it was driving you crazy. Each tap from a finger sending electricity through your leg.

It was too much.

So, you jumped up from your spot, successfully making Ethan jump. “Y/N, what the hell?”

You shook your head and stumbled to the kitchen. Time for another beer.

You were quick to open another, number 4.

 Before you were joined in the kitchen, by none other than Ethan, you’d downed half of it. His eyes were wide as he reached over to slip it out of your hands. “That’s enough, Y/N.” A laugh fell from his lips.

You pouted, reaching for the bottle, but the boy held it out of reach. “E.” you whined.

The boy faltered, his hand dropping just enough for you to snatch the beer back. Another sip.

“Y/N.” he reached for the beer again.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, some of the beer had spilled. Enough to make Ethan slip when he lunged forward, making him fall, taking you down with him.

Luckily, the fall didn’t hurt you too much, but now you were pinned underneath the boy.

“Ethan, you’re on top of me.” you whined again.

You could feel his heart beating against your chest. Was he nervous?

“Y/N, why do you hate me?” His voice sounded soft, almost as if he were hurt by your hatred.

He looked like a sad puppy and it made your heart hurt.

A sigh fell from your lips, “In all honesty, the only valid reason was that you’re better than me and Econ. My… my academics are all that I have, E. It’s all my parents cared about… you wouldn’t understand.”

Ethan let out a shaky breath, one of his hands came up to your face, his thumb running over your cheek. “I understand more than you know.” Your breath hitched at the skin-to-skin contact.

He must’ve noticed, because his eyes shot back to yours.

“I don’t actually hate you.” you whispered, his brown eyes were captivating.

The curly-headed boy stared at you breathlessly, his eyes now were flickering from yours to your lips. You paused for a second, thinking about what to do next. Should you kiss him, try to escape, or wait for him to grow a pair and kiss you?

 All seemed like good options?

However, if you and Ethan did kiss — laying on the kitchen floor covered in beer — you’d have to admit to the others that you didn’t actually hate the boy. In reality, your hatred had just stemmed from an insecurity.

So, you did it. You took the risk and lifted your head off of the ground, closing the small gap between you and Ethan. Your lips connected and it was like the final missing puzzle piece had been found. His lips fit perfectly with yours, no matter how cliche it sounded.

The hand he’d had on your cheek now held the back of your neck, holding your face to his. His heartbeat also hadn’t slowed, if anything, it got faster.

After a few seconds, Ethan pulled away. His cheeks had deeply reddened and both of you were out of breath. For someone who didn’t have experience in the dating department, Ethan kissed scarily well.

“Holy shit, are you guys okay? Your fall woke me up, but I kind of had to figure out where I was first before I came to check.” Anika’s sweet voice caught your attention.

Ethan rolled off of you, both of you startled by the sudden presence of another, his rather large body slamming into the cabinetry. It sounded and looked like it hurt, you’d make sure to check on him later.

“Oh.” She had a devious smirk on her lips, “Did I walk in on something? Y/N did you finally give up on your ‘I hate his guts’ bit? The tension between you to is so-”

You waved your hands to stop her, “Ani! Stop, please.”

She giggled, “And now i’ve got my answer.” Anika playfully waved, skipping back out of the room.

You covered your face with your hands out of embarrassment, trying to ignore the events that had happened. Ethan falling on you, being covered in beer, kissing Ethan, and Anika walking in on the two of you in a rather compromising position.

“Y/N.” Ethan tugged at your wrists, attempting to uncover your face. “I understand if that was a heat of the moment thing, it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

His voice sounded small, like earlier.

Your eyes went wide and you dropped your hands, rolling over to your side to face the boy. “No, no, no.” This time it was you who ran a thumb over Ethan’s cheek. “I was stupid to hate you, E! Please don’t think I didn’t want to kiss you, I don’t kiss someone if I don’t want to.”

“But all those guys at the parties-”

“I wanted to.” You laughed at his question, “But you’re different. You’re special, Ethan Landry, and I was too consumed by my own academic agenda to notice.”

He was quiet, but not in a sad way. The boy looked at you with more adoration in his eyes as you’d ever seen someone look at another with.

Then his lips found yours again.

#ghostface #jack champion #scream #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n #avatar #avatar the way of water

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thefanficmonster · 3 months

Text

Piss off your parents pt.1

PART 2

PART 3

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Friends to Lovers, Fake Dating, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: You just wanted to rebel a little, how did it get to this?

"Y/N, you're fucking insane." Colby grumbles, struggling as he unbuckles one of his best friends out of the backseat of his car. She, however, seems completely unbothered by him maneuvering her into an upright position. She's giggling, actually, a direct contrast to her mascara streaked cheeks. She's drunk, wasted. Three sheets to the wind, if you will.

He already had to put two other drunk messes to bed tonight, Y/N's his third. He should be getting paid per person and per difficulty. Nate was the easiest to subdue, followed by Sam who put up a brief 'I'm not even drunk, dudeeee' kind of fight. And now her.

The party was at Sam's house so the previous two didn't require any special treatment other than being dunked into Sam's bed. Y/N however...

She'd pleaded with Colby, the most sober one of the bunch, to just let her be. Let loose, get drunk, flirt around a bit. That being said, four hours later - two hours past her curfew - when he tried prying her away from the drink table she put up one hell of a fight.

"You have the balance of a newborn giraffe! You're done! I'm cutting you off!" He'd yelled over the music, hearing his own parents' scolding in his tone but he ignored it. He had to take on the parenting role with his friends, it was his turn after all. He knows they'd do the same - they've done the same - when he was plastered. He owed them the same curtesy. Especially Y/N.

She's usually on parenting duty, not really on the heavy drinker side. But after the fight with her parents she told him about earlier, he can't blame her for wanting to drown it out with a few extra shots.

A few too many extra shots.

He was planning on just safely storing her in one of the guestrooms for the night and playing nurse the following morning when all three would undoubtedly have a hangover. But that's when Y/N's cognitive thought kicked in.

"My parents are gonna kill me if I don't make it home tonight! I can't sleep here!" She was - and still is - heavily slurring her words but the thought of further pissing off her folks drove her into an almost sobering panic. "Call me an Uber while I find my shoes. What time is it?"

Colby had carefully dodged around answering that question, knowing it would send her into a full blown heart attack knowing she was running so late. He tried telling her on time but she'd blown him off, saying she didn't care about the stupid curfew or at least that's how much he'd caught from her string of slurred rambles.

"You're not getting an Uber at this hour. Come on, I'll drive you." He'd said reassuringly as he picked up one of her stray shoes.

They soon found the second one and her missing purse and within fifteen minutes they'd gotten in his car and were gliding down the road with the speed of a tortoise. At this point in time Colby was neither drunk nor tipsy but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets as he operated the vehicle.

"I don't wanna go to Barton!" He'd believed she was asleep after the long stretch of silence following their departure so her sudden exclamation was quite startling.

"You won't, Y/N. You're coming with us to LA, remember?" He believed in that lie as much as she did, but he needed to soothe her somehow.

"Not according to mom! I'm gonna be stuck here in Kansas all my life!" Her anger was now engulfed by sobs Colby gently offered tissues for.

He stayed quiet and let her ramble, only partially listening to the words spilling directly from her heart. He especially tried drowning out the part where she went on a whole rant abut her massive crush on Nate.

But, alas, he wasn't successful, seeing as how he was white-knuckle-gripping the steering wheel more than half the way to her house.

That's how they've ended up here - one a giggly and mascara stained drunken mess and the other a bitter and regretfully sober babysitter. Well, babysitter, Uber driver and therapist all in one. He really should start charging for his services.

He wraps one of Y/N's arms around his shoulders, securing it there by holding her hand while his other arm fixates itself around her waist to keep her upright and at least semi steady on her feet.

With a silent prayer, he tries pushing the front door open with zero luck. It's locked.

He's cycling through all the stages of grief as he comes to terms with the fact that he will, unfortunately, have to ring the bell and alert Y/N's parents of their arrival.

He does just that, although quite begrudgingly, sighing heavily when he sees a light turn on through one of the windows. The sound of oncoming footsteps follows.

His eyes are soon met with the unpleasant glare of Y/N's mom who - as he's picked up on from their handful of interactions - already isn't very fond of him.

Just him!

She's lovely to Sam and Nate, but he's not extended the same curtesy. You can visibly see the air around her get colder when she approaches him whereas she's always been so kind and welcoming to the other two people in their friend group. He hasn't been able to figure out why. Bringing it up to Y/N proved futile as she just shrugged and shook her head.

"No clue, Colbs. But don't take it personally. She's just like that." She had said, but it didn't sit right with Colby. It made no sense. And it continues to bother him.

And unnerve him, specifically now as he's being stared down by her icy gaze.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Y/L/N....just bringing Y/N home. She had a little too much to drink." There's no way in hell he could've concealed her drunkenness. She's hanging off of him with her head bowed, her hair forming a curtain over her face. He wouldn't be surprised if he were to find her already asleep.

"You know where her room is." There's an edge to her scoff that could slit a man's throat, but Colby chooses not to dwell on it. Truly, he can't, seeing as how she's already moving away from the doorway and down the hall into the living room, leaving him to deal with the mess she thinks he caused.

He can't find it in himself to be offended right now, although he probably will be later. He has bigger fish to fry.

And so, with his options limited, he opts to pick her up bridal style so he can easily carry her up the stairs. He hopes to God her parents don't see this and get the wrong idea.

Oh if he only knew what's to come...

As carefully as he can, he settles his unconscious best friend on her bed, tucking her in. He's murmuring reassuring words under his breath as he does so, not sure if they're meant for her or him but in the end it all works out.

"Night, Y/N." With that whispered in the darkness of the room and a gentle kiss on her temple, he makes his exit, briefly stopping at the bottom of the stairs to peek into the living room, "Good night, Mrs. Y/L/N."

"It's almost morning." Her reply is on-par with most of their interactions so he just pushes past it, shaking his head slightly before leaving out the front door.

As he does so, he notices the sky has taken on a brighter shade of blue, signaling Y/N's mom really wasn't exaggerating. With a sigh, he gets back behind the wheel, heading to Sam's house to check on his other two patients.

* * * * *

Her head is pounding but you'd never be able to tell from the giant grin on her face as she sprints through the neighborhood, skipping through backyards and hopping the occasional fence to cut the trip short. The strap of a duffle bag is slung over her shoulder, she's clutching onto it tightly. It has all her belongings in it, after all. It's of upmost importance she doesn't lose it.

That's be rather unfortunate right after spontaneously moving out, wouldn't it?

She wouldn't say she got kicked out of the house per-se. That would indicate that she was thrown out against her will. Quite the contrary actually. She was more than happy to leave. Had she known those were the magic words, she would've said them so much sooner.

She catches herself before she can make a face-first collision with Sam's front door, stopping to catch her breath and knock a couple of times. And a couple more times. And a few more times.

It's safe to say she's impatient. But with the news she has, you can't blame her.

"Stop! Stop!" A disheveled Sam finally opens the door, one hand partially covering his pale face, "Too loud..."

Y/N gives herself a moment to feel guilty and hug him apologetically before dashing inside. "Colby's here, right?"

"Yeah!" She hears his voice coming from the kitchen and immediately makes a beeline in his direction, dropping her bag in the foyer.

Upon entry, she finds Colby and Nate sitting by the kitchen island, both in different stages of 'the morning after'. Despite the crippling headache, however, the latter finds it in him to give her a genuine smile, sliding off the stool to envelop her in a hug.

"Aww, is someone hungover?" She mocks Nate, sneaking a sip from his Gatorade.

"Hey!" He complains, reaching over to snatch the bottle from her, "Give it back! I need it way more than you do."

Colby, unable to stomach their interaction - for reasons he doesn't want to get into right now - busies himself by looking down at his phone.

He's known of Y/N's little crush on Nate for months now. At first it was only speculation based off her demeanor around him. And then it was more like a punch to the gut when she tipsily confirmed it one night.

"Colbs?" Her voice snaps him out of his brief bitter spiral, forcing him to look up, "Can I borrow you outside for a sec?"

He's struggled with saying 'no' to her since the day they met. Not that he wants to turn her down, he just wishes he could.

And wishes she didn't. Without even knowing it. Turn him down, that is.

With a nod, he follows her out to the patio where the sun isn't kind to either of them, adding gasoline to the fire of their raging hangovers.

"Sup?" Try as he might, he has never been good at feigning nonchalance around her.

It's surprising to see her nervous. For once, he believes their playing field to be even. "So...I've got good news wrapped up in bad news."

Her words would panic him a lot more had she not come in like a force of nature with a gleaming smile adorning her face. Still, it's not at the top of the list of things he wants to hear on a Saturday morning. So, with an exaggerated sigh, he signals for her to continue, "I'm all ears. The last twenty four hours can't get much worse."

He watches her face twist as she cringes, well aware she's about to prove him wrong, "Well...." With a deep breath, she finally spits it out, "The good news is, I'm coming with you guys to LA."

Colby doesn't spare a second, momentarily forgetting the bad news she'd mentioned as he scoops her up in a hug, "No fucking way! Hell yeah! I fucking told you!" He can't describe the immense joy and relief he's feeling right now. "Kiss that Barton College shit goodbye!"

Giggling, Y/N kicks her feet, looking for solid ground beneath them. Not that she's in a rush to be set back down. In fact, for a split second, she wishes this moment could last forever.

But, she's aware it's impossible.

Suddenly, she feels guilt creeping in for even letting that thought run loose in her head. She doesn't even know how or why it popped up.

She just knows she's about to ruin it all.

"One problem..." It's actually far more than one, but they'll dissect that later on. She just has to get the main one out the way, "You see, how that came to be...."

"You have no shame! You get wasted at parties, break rules, come home past curfew." Mrs. Y/L/N's voice is shaking the house, echoing twice as loudly in Y/N's head as she's just trying to eat a bowl of cereal. "Random people are bringing you home at dawn!"

She has the gull to argue back, "Colby is not just some random person, mom!"

"Oh yeah, he of all people was the one bringing you home! What the hell, Y/N?!"

Her mom has never liked Colby. The problem is, no one knows why. Y/N isn't sure if her mom even knows why. She tried asking once, it didn't go over so well.

But that's when two and two click together into a four in her head - a bright idea. Actually, 'dim' would be better. Nothing bright is welcome within her proximity with the splitting headache she's nursing.

Without a second thought, she blurts out: "What's so wrong with having my boyfriend take me home after a party?"

Her words ring out like a gunshot in the quiet house. Yet they are nothing in comparison to the explosion of her mother's anger in response.

Colby's mouth is hanging open, his gaze piercing through more so than focusing on his friend.

She, on the other hand, is sweating bullets, anxiously waiting for him to say something and break the long silence that has fallen upon them. When he doesn't, she wills herself to whisper a mousy little "I'm sorry."

Finally, a voice leaves his parted lips: "Y/N, you're fucking insane."

215 notes · View notes

larkspurglove · 2 months

Text

OH MY GODDD THE NEW TRAILBLAZE MISSION IT’S SO GOOD BUT ALSO NONE OF MY THOUGHTS ARE COHERENT AAAAA

Major spoilers for 2.1 ahead!!!!

So first off to the people that voted for Aventurine and Sunday in this poll how does it feel to be right?

ANYWAY THAT WHOLE ENDING WAS FUCKING INSANEEEE, Aventurine walking INTO the Nihility????? And he might not ever come back???? Acheron showing off the true extent of her emanator powers?????? Gallagher being the twist villain and also somehow in control of Something Unto Death???? What the fuck?!

My brain is a mess right now I’m just rotating all of the story in my brain and a hundred miles a minute. The next stuff is just going to be me word vomiting my reaction to stuff in a vaguely chronological order.

First off I LOVEEE how Aventurine-focused the Trailblaze mission was. I was kind of assuming it would be a 50/50 split between focusing on Acheron and focusing on Aventurine but it seems like they’re saving Acheron’s backstory for 2.2 or 2.3.

The little appearance of Boothill??? And how he immediately threatens violence?????? Just a silly guy I can’t wait for him in 2.2 I wanna see them fight. Also I wonder if Constance is making empty promises because it’s possible.

Back to Aventurine, DAMNNN I knew his backstory would be tragic but it’s even more gut wrenching than I expected. The reference in his achievements too??? ‘What do you want Sibyl?’ ‘I want to die.’ THE PROGRESSION FROM AVENTURINE STICKING WITH THIS UNTIL THE END WHERE EVEN THOUGH HE COULD POSSIBLY DIE FOR REAL YET HE DECIDES FO CONTINUE FORWARD BECAUSE EVEN IF WE’RE BORN TO DIE THERE’S A POINT IN LIVING LIFE AND PREPARING FOR THAT INEVITABILITY???? OH MY GOD.

Sunday’s also a scary dude. Maybe being an emanator does that to people but when he did that Harmony mindfuckery on Aventurine I was almost certain that he was going to die because of that. I was also SO pissed at Ratio for selling Aventurine out only to learn they were actually double crossing SUNDAY was insane. I’m glad he finally got to be angry about Robin’s death towards the end though, most of the downtime between 2.0 and 2.1 has been me wondering ‘man his sister just died why doesn’t he feel more distressed.’

Ngl I’m probably gonna dedicate a whole post to Aventurine in this update because 90% of the time I was playing the quest I was either thirsting over him, internally sobbing for him, thinking he was gonna die, or waiting to get back to his POV.

Gallagher is one hell of an enigma because Sunday implies that he’s made up of different ‘aspects’ of each Family member who’s died over however long the dreamscape deaths have been happening, yet he has a past with Siobhan and apparently knew Mikhail??? Like what the fuck????? How long has this been going on????

(Edit: so the use of ‘enigma’ was NOT a pun, when I played the trailblaze quest someone goofed up and forgot to add the line where Sunday calls Gallagher a follower of The Enigmata. Yeah that’s a pretty big lore drop to forget to add.)

I do wish it was foreshadowed slightly better though because the most we get is him being very vaguely sad about his past and also like two people going ‘who the hell is Gallagher.’

One thing I didn’t expect to happen was for a ‘Sam is Firefly’ reveal. Like I had seen the leaks before (not out of my own will sadly) and kind of expected for it to be a 2.2 reveal. Either way yayyyy Firefly is alive!!!

I’m sad that we didn’t really have an Acheron and Welt team up, or at least that we didn’t see more of it. It was kind of hyped up to be a whole B-plot but turned out to only be a few scenes. I’m not complaining because we get a little teeny bit of Welt characterisation but I’m still sad.

I like how Sparkle kind of just shows up to either be a nuisance or a conveniently timed piece to move the plot forward. It’s very fitting with being a Masked Fool.

There’s a lot more I want to scream about but it’s all Aventurine related and I’m gonna save it for its own dedicated post.

2.1 is so fucking good 2.2 and 2.3 better stick the landing.

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fatecantstopme · 5 months

Text

Take Your Time

Pairing: Dean Winchester x wife!reader

Summary: What happens after you lose the love of your life?

Warnings: character death, a lot of talk about death, grieving, childbirth, single parenting, cursing, use of pet names, mentions of smut/implied smut.

A/N: This is insanely long and some parts are painfully sad, but it's a beautiful story of love and family that persists even beyond the grave. There's a lot of POV switching between Dean and reader. I hope you love it as much as I do.

“The two of you are like rabbits,” Sam groaned. “I swear you could hear it outside the bunker.”

Dean laughed heartily. “It’s not my fault she’s so damn hot.”

You blushed and buried your face in your hands. “Sorry, Sammy. We’ll try to keep it down.”

“I’ve lost the ability to pretend I didn’t hear you two.”

You laughed. “What can I say? He’s good at what he does.”

“Ughhhh,” Sam groaned as he left the kitchen.

You leaned into Dean with a smile. “Maybe we should try to keep it down, for Sam’s sake.”

Dean seemed to contemplate it for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, babe. After everything we’ve been through, we deserve some enjoyment—celebration, even. We beat Chuck, Jack’s in charge, there seems to be less monsters running around…and somehow we’re still alive to see it.”

“I suppose you’ve got a point.”

“Plus,” Dean leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially, “my wife is the sexiest woman on earth. How can I possibly resist the temptation?”

You laughed warmly and playfully smacked his arm. “You’re incorrigible.”

He grinned. “But you love me.”

You smiled as you leaned up to kiss him. “Very much.”

**********

“It’s kinda nice to be on a regular old monster hunt,” Dean said with a smile.

“Is it weird that I’ve missed this?” you asked.

“Definitely not. I’ve missed it too,” Sam responded.

“Vampires,” Dean mumbled. “I do love killing vampires.”

You chuckled lightly and rolled your eyes.

The three of you grabbed your machetes and headed towards the barn. You knew this was where the vamps were bedding down, but you weren’t sure how many of them were there.

Dean shot you a grin before busting in the barn door, shocking several vampires into action. Dean let out a weird holler of excitement and dove into the fray. You and Sam exchanged glances before jumping in.

Everything was going well. It was a pretty easy hunt, to be honest. You’d just beheaded the last one when you heard Sam yell your name from behind you.

You could hear the terror in his voice and when you spun around, you came face to face with your greatest fear.

“Dean!” You screamed as you ran across the barn. You grabbed his face when you reached him, tears already streaming down both of your faces. “No…” you whispered.

He coughed and wheezed softly. You could see the piece of metal sticking out of his chest and you knew he was dying. You’d always known the life was dangerous—that any of you could die young, but things were finally good. You thought you’d actually get to grow old together.

Sam stood beside you, just as devastated as you were. “Dean, please…”

“It’s okay Sammy. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

You inhaled sharply, tears blurring your vision. “Please don’t go,” you begged. “Don’t leave me.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry,” he whispered. “But you’re gonna be okay—you’re gonna be fine.”

You shook your head rapidly.

“Yes you are, sweetheart. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re gonna mourn, but you’re gonna keep going. You’re not the kind of woman to ever give up, so don’t start now.”

You stared at him, letting his words wash over you, knowing they would be some of his last.

“Take care of each other,” Dean said to both of you.

“We will,” Sam responded, emotion clouding his voice.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

You whimpered softly before standing on your toes to kiss him gently. “I love you too, Dean. Always.”

He smiled, but you could see the light fading from his eyes. “One more thing, baby.”

“Yes?”

“‘Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it a while.’”

You let out a breathy chuckle. He would never admit it, but The Princess Bride was one of his favorite movies. He’d always loved that line in particular and he’d said it to you on your wedding day instead of “till death do us part”.

“Wait for me,” you whispered, caressing his cheek affectionately.

He reached out a hand and brushed the tears from your cheek. “Take your time,” he said so softly you almost didn’t hear.

You leaned into his hand and closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see the moment he died—you couldn’t bear it. When his hand slipped from your face and you heard Sam let out a pained sob, you knew he was gone.

You finally looked up, and the tears began to fall in earnest. You’d never felt a pain like this before—not even when he’d died in the past. This time was different. This time was final. Dean was dead—and a large piece of your heart went with him.

**********

Dean’s POV:

I opened my eyes and looked around, trying to get my bearings. I was surprised by how bright it was--I was pretty certain it had been night only moments ago.

"Hey Dean," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I spun around with a smile on my face and immediately embraced the man in front of me. "Bobby!"

Bobby returned my hug. "It's good to see you, kid."

Seeing Bobby made me realize where I was and the smiled slipped from my face.

He patted me gently on the shoulder. "Yeah, it's tough at first."

"(Y/N/N) and Sammy..." I whispered. "I left them."

Bobby nodded sadly. "I know, kid, I know. It's gonna hurt for a while, but they're both tough people. They'll be okay."

Tears blurred my vision at the thought of my wife and little brother mourning my death. I hated the idea of leaving them all alone, especially (Y/N). I knew Sammy would be okay--he always was. But (Y/N)? I'd made her a promise--I promised her forever. Then I went and got myself killed...leaving her to put the pieces of her life back together--a life we were supposed to share.

"I'm worried about (Y/N/N)," I whispered. "I can't stand the idea of her being alone. And the not knowing how she is? That might kill me--figuratively, I guess."

"I know the feeling, but I do have some good news for you. Things are obviously different up here, thanks entirely to Jack."

Bobby gestured to a building off in the distance and I realized it was the Roadhouse.

"A lot of us hang out here together--Ellen, Jo, Ash, Charlie, Pamela," Bobby said. "Also, we now have a new option--the ability to check in on the people we left behind. It's how I knew you'd be coming here."

"Wait--I can check in on (Y/N)? And Sam? Like I can see them?"

Bobby nodded. "Yeah, anytime you want. The only thing is, time moves differently up here, so you'll probably only catch glimpses of their lives over time."

"I'll take anything at this point. How do I do it?"

"You just picture the person clearly in your mind and you'll be able to see and hear what's happening in their lives at that moment. Plus, if they call out to you--like a prayer--you'll hear them."

"So all I have to do is picture (Y/N/N) and I'll see her?"

Bobby nodded. "Just remember, you're not gonna see the moment you left...it's probably been a couple weeks at this point."

I nodded. "I wanna see her."

Bobby patted my shoulder again. "Take your time. I'll be in the Roadhouse. Come on in when you're done--I'm sure there's a few people who wanna see you."

"Thanks, Bobby."

I watched him walk away for a few moments before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I pictured my wife's beautiful face in my mind with everything I had. Within moments, I was transported to a room I knew very well--our bedroom in the bunker.

(Y/N) was laying on our bed, wearing her favorite flannel of mine, and clutching a pillow close to her chest. I could tell she'd been crying for some time and it broke my heart.

There was a knock at the door and Sam's voice called out to her, asking if she was okay.

"I'm alright, Sammy," she answered softly.

"Do you want dinner?"

She sniffled softly. "I'm not really hungry, but thank you."

I heard Sam sigh quietly. "Okay, let me know if you change your mind."

I turned my attention back to (Y/N) just as she rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you," she whispered. "I thought we'd have more time."

I could feel the tears stinging my own eyes as I watched her cry softly.

"You promised me, Dean. You promised me forever," she whimpered. "I shouldn't be angry with you--it's not like you left me on purpose. But I can't help it, Dean. I'm so angry, and bitter, and heartbroken, and so...alone."

Her voice was barely above a whisper as she finished talking, her words cutting into me like a knife.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered, wishing like hell she could hear me. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. I needed everything to be okay--I needed her to be okay.

She sighed quietly, bringing my attention back to her. "I just love you so much, Dean, and I--I miss you." She inhaled deeply before continuing. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to know I'll be okay. It'll take some time, and I'll never stop missing you, but I will be okay."

I didn't realize how badly I'd needed to hear her say those words. My heart still ached, but her words helped heal it just a little. "I love you so much, beautiful--always."

She smiled up at the ceiling as if she'd heard me, but I knew that was impossible. She pressed her hand to her lips and blew a kiss towards the ceiling.

I smiled as I blew one back. She'd always blown me kisses when I was alive and I was glad she was continuing the habit.

I watched her curl back up on her side and sigh softly as she pulled the pillow close to her. I stayed just long enough for her to fall asleep before closing my eyes and returning to heaven.

**********

"SAM!" you screamed loudly. "SAMMY!"

You heard his loud footsteps echoing down the bunker hallway as he raced towards you. He appeared in your doorway slightly out of breath and more than a little terrified.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked breathlessly.

Your hands were shaking as you held up the item in your hand.

Sam looked at it in confusion. As you watched, you saw the realization dawn on him and he gasped.

"Wait, (Y/N)--are you--are you pregnant?"

You nodded as tears ran down your cheeks. "This is the third one I've taken...they all came up positive."

"Oh my god," Sam mumbled. "You're gonna have a baby."

You stared at him in mild terror. "I'm gonna have a baby," you confirmed.

Sam stared at you, clearly unsure what he should do. After a few moments, he grabbed you and held you tightly. You leaned into his hug, more grateful than ever to have him in your life.

"We should take you to see a doctor. I'm sure Eileen would come too."

You nodded against his chest, the tears on your cheeks wiping off on his shirt.

"We're gonna help you, (Y/N). You won't be going through this alone. I promise."

You stepped back and offered him a small smile. "Thank you, Sammy."

**********

Dean's POV:

It had been a couple days since I'd last checked on (Y/N), so I decided to take a little time to myself to pay her a visit.

I closed my eyes, envisioning (Y/N/N)'s face clearly in my mind. When I opened my eyes again, I saw (Y/N) sitting in the bunker library, reading a book.

Her back was to me, so I moved closer to see over her shoulder, trying to see what she was reading. I expected it to be one of the novels she was always reading, but this appeared to be one of those self-help books. She wasn't the type of person to read self-help books, so I was pretty surprised.

Before I could move around to see her from the front, Sam came into the room carrying an absurd amount of food. I looked at the food on one of the plates and even I had to admit it looked gross. Some sort of burger, but with what appeared to be greek yogurt on it...and mustard?

Sam sat the plate down in front of (Y/N) and she clapped her hands in delight. "Looks delicious!"

Sam looked at her with a slightly grossed-out look on his face and chuckled lightly. "I felt disgusting making it and I don't think I can watch you eat it," he teased.

She laughed and took a big bite of the sandwich, a groan of pleasure slipping from her lips. "Oh my god, that's so good."

Sam laughed heartily. "These pregnancy cravings are nasty."

She giggled, but I missed her response because I was too focused on what Sam had just said...pregnancy cravings? I looked at the book (Y/N) had sat on the table beside her and saw the title "Parenting 101".

I finally got a good look at my wife and noticed her round belly and I nearly passed out--if I could even pass out. I thought I was about to hyperventilate and my shock must have pushed me out of my trance--sending me straight back to heaven.

I nearly ran--okay, I did run--all the way to the Roadhouse, bursting in the door, out of breath and panicky.

"Hey easy there, kiddo," Ellen said as she stepped forward to check on me.

"(Y/N)'s pregnant," I practically yelled, shocking every person in the room.

Bobby looked up at me from the beer he was drinking with a look of shock on his face. Ellen had been patting my back, but now she was frozen in place.

"Is it--I mean, could it be yours?" Ellen asked gently.

"I--I don't know," I mumbled. "I have no idea how long I've been dead."

"Ash!" Ellen yelled.

The man in question appeared almost instantly. "Yo!"

"How long has Dean been dead?"

"Uhhh...hold on." Ash started typing away on his laptop. Two minutes later he answered, "A little over six months."

Bobby had gotten up from his seat and came over to help Ellen escort me to a chair. "Have a seat, son. Just breathe."

"Looks like you're gonna be a father," Ellen said gently.

"I'm--how--I--" words were not coming to me easily. I didn't know how to feel or what to think--all I knew was my wife was pregnant and I wasn't there to support her.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I became. I wouldn't be there for the birth, wouldn't get to hold (Y/N)'s hand through it all...I would never meet my child. My wife was all alone, doomed to the life of a single parent all because I was careless enough to die too soon.

"At least she has Sam," I whispered lowly.

Ellen was rubbing comforting circles on my back and Bobby squeezed my shoulder.

"I need to talk to her," I said suddenly. "How can I talk to her?"

Bobby shook his head. "You can't, Dean. I'm sorry, but that's just not possible."

Tears stung my eyes and I stood up abruptly. "I think I just need to be alone," I mumbled.

I could feel several pairs of eyes on my back as I left the Roadhouse and began to mindlessly wander, unsure of where I was going, but certain there was a destination.

**********

"You can do it, (Y/N). Just breathe," Sam said calmly.

"You tell me to breathe one more time, Winchester, and I'll kill you," you hissed.

Eileen looked up at Sam with a small smirk. "I think she's serious," she said.

Sam quickly signed 'I'm just trying to help.'

Eileen chuckled. 'Why don't you go get something to eat. I think that would be helpful.'

You let out a groan of pain and Sam's eyes widened. "Okay...I'll go do that."

Eileen shook her head and moved forward to grab your hand. "Men," she mumbled.

You laughed lightly before another contraction hit you. "Fuck," you groaned.

The nurse gently patted your leg. "You're doing great, sweetheart. Just keep breathing."

You squeezed the hell out of Eileen's hand, which got her attention. "Labor is hell--don't have kids."

She laughed. "I'm sure Sam will want one or two, especially after meeting his niece."

"Adopt," you ground out as another contraction hit you.

She gently brushed the hair out of your eyes, wiping the sweat off your forehead in the same motion.

You were beyond grateful for the two of them, even if you couldn't express it in that moment.

"Dean, you son of a bitch," you growled. "This is all your fault!"

You didn't mean it of course, it was more a heat of the moment thing. You missed him terribly and the pain of his absence had never been greater.

**********

Dean's POV:

In the middle of my walk, I heard someone scream my name. I paused, listening for any other sound.

"This is all your fault!"

I knew immediately it was (Y/N)'s voice and I went to her without a second thought.

I was shocked to find myself standing in a hospital room, my beautiful wife lying on the bed, clearly in pain. I stepped farther into the room when I heard (Y/N/N) whimper softly. Eileen was on the other side of the bed, squeezing her hand and gently brushing her hair back to calm her.

I was desperate to grab her hand, to tell her everything would be okay. She wasn't wrong--I was the one who got her pregnant, but I couldn't be there to help her through the birth of our child. It broke my heart to see her in such pain, especially knowing there was nothing I could do about it.

"Okay, sweetheart, it's time to push again," the nurse said softly.

(Y/N) let out a low grunt of pain as she leaned forward to push with all her strength. Eileen continued holding her hand and I watched her face tighten in discomfort as (Y/N) squeezed it.

Even though I knew she couldn't hear me, I started talking to her. "I'm right here, baby," I said softly. "You're doing so well, sweetheart."

Sam suddenly came into the room, looking concerned, but also a little terrified. "How you doin' (Y/N/N)?"

She shot daggers at my little brother and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Obviously not great, Samuel," she growled.

Eileen chuckled and gestured to Sam to go back out in the hallway. "We'll call you in when the baby comes."

Given the fact that Sam's face was a little green, I had to agree it was best for him to be out in the hall.

My attention was drawn back to (Y/N) when she let out a soft cry of pain.

"You're doing so great, (Y/N)," the nurse said. "Keep pushing, honey."

She continued pushing and even though she was clearly in a lot of pain and discomfort, I couldn't help but think she was so beautiful and powerful in that moment. I'd never seen a stronger woman in all my life.

"She's crowning!" the doctor called. "Give me a really good push."

(Y/N) groaned in pain as she pushed, cutting the circulation off in Eileen's hand with the strength of her squeeze.

"That's it, one more!"

(Y/N) let out one more agonized groan before collapsing back against the mattress. As soon as she did, I heard the loud crying of a newborn baby--our newborn baby.

"You did so well, honey," the nurse said. "So, so, well. I'll clean her up and let you hold her, okay?"

(Y/N) nodded with a weak smile, eyes meeting Eileen's moist ones. 'You did amazing,' she signed.

"Thank you," (Y/N) whispered.

The nurse brought a little bundle over and handed it to my wife. "Here's your mama."

(Y/N)'s arms wrapped around the sweet bundle, holding her close to her chest. "Hi, little one," she murmured sweetly. "Welcome to the world."

I leaned over to get a good view of my daughter. "Good job, mama," I whispered.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered.

I couldn't help but agree, she was perfect.

"What are we gonna name this sweet girl?" the nurse asked.

(Y/N) looked up with tearful eyes. "Charlie," she answered. "Her name is Charlie."

Tears filled my eyes, emotion overwhelming me. (Y/N) had loved Charlie has much as I did, so I shouldn't have been surprised that she'd want to honor her memory like this.

"That's a lovely name. Do you want to give little Charlie a middle name?"

At that moment, Sam came back in the room, a teary smile warming his features. He entered the room fully and came to the side of the bed to get a better view of his niece.

(Y/N) looked up at him and smiled. "MaryEllen," she answered. "Charlie MaryEllen Winchester."

Sam choked back tears as he leaned forward to place a kiss to (Y/N)'s forehead and then to Charlie's. "I think that's a perfect name."

She smiled. "Me too."

The nurse smiled as she wrote down the name on the form in her hands. "Okay, sweetie, did you want to put a name down for the father?"

(Y/N)'s face dropped slowly and it made my heart ache. "Yes. His name was Dean--Dean Winchester."

The nurse nodded and jotted it down on her form. "I'll go file this and be back in a few minutes."

Tears were streaming down (Y/N)'s cheeks as she stared at our little girl. "I wish Dean was here," she mumbled.

Sam and Eileen exchanged sad looks. "I know, (Y/N/N)," Sam said gently. "So do I."

"I'm right here, baby," I whispered. "I'm always right here."

"She's perfect, isn't she?" (Y/N) said softly, changing the subject.

"She really is," Eileen confirmed.

I wanted to stay, but I couldn't bear to see my daughter and not hold her. It was making my chest ache in an unimaginable way.

I was about to make my exit when (Y/N) cast a glance to the ceiling and whispered, "I love you, Dean." She blew me a kiss and I couldn't help but smile.

"I love you both, baby. So damn much," I murmured before closing my eyes and returning to heaven.

**********

"Do babies ever sleep?" you grumbled as you stumbled into the kitchen after a very long and sleepless night.

Sam looked up from his coffee with a small smile. "She will eventually," he answered. When you shot him a glare, he slid his coffee towards you. "You need this more than I do."

Your expression softened. "Thanks." You took a sip, sighing gratefully as you sat at the table.

"Eileen with Charlie?"

You nodded. "She's so good with her."

Sam smiled. "I know."

You took a deep breath before saying something you'd been thinking for a while. "I think it's time for me to move out."

"What?" Sam asked in shock.

"The bunker's no place to raise a baby, Sam. I think it's time I find somewhere else to live."

He looked sad, but he nodded his head in understanding. "As much as I hate for you to leave, I understand why you need to."

You smiled tearfully. "Everywhere I look, I see Dean. His memory is infused in these walls and I love it, but it hurts--it hurts in a way I can't explain. Charlie and I need a fresh start--a real home."

Sam got up and gave you a warm hug. "Just don't go too far, okay? We need you both in our lives."

"I actually talked to Donna last week...she asked me to move in with her."

"That would be great! I'd feel better if you weren't alone, so I love the idea of you staying with Donna."

"It would just be for a little while, until I figure out what we should do for our future."

"You know I'll support you, (Y/N), in whatever you choose to do."

"I know, Sammy. You're the best uncle Charlie could ever have."

**********

Dean's POV:

When I arrived back in heaven, I found myself in a place I didn't recognize. I guess I'd kept walking mindlessly while I was checking in on (Y/N)...if that's even possible.

"Hello Dean," a familiar voice said behind me.

I turned around in surprise. "Jack?"

Jack smiled at me. "It's good to see you, Dean."

I returned the smile. "It's good to see you too."

"I heard you wanted to talk to me."

"I...I did?"

"Rather, you wanted to talk to (Y/N), which is something you would need to discuss with me."

"Bobby said it's not possible."

"He's correct. That's not something that has ever been done, but I suppose this is a special circumstance."

"It is?"

"You've saved the world selflessly so many times it's truly hard to keep track. Both (Y/N) and your brother have done so as well. As such, I believe you are owed something in return."

"I thought my reward was getting into heaven."

Jack smiled. "Perhaps initially, but this would be a reward specifically from me."

"Are you saying I could talk to (Y/N)? I mean, really talk to her?"

Jack nodded. "It would be a one-time thing, but it would allow you to properly say goodbye to her--and to Sam. Plus, I think you deserve the opportunity to meet your daughter."

"How long would I have?"

"I can give you an hour."

I nodded eagerly. "Please."

Jack smiled and reached out his hand, putting two fingers to my forehead.

When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in a very familiar place. I looked around the bedroom (Y/N) and I had shared in the years since we'd discovered the bunker and I couldn't help but smile.

(Y/N) was curled up on the bed, reading a book, and she hadn't noticed me yet. I cleared my throat, getting her attention, and nearly ended up with a knife embedded in my chest as she threw it across the room with shocking accuracy.

"Woah! Baby, take it easy! It's me!"

She grabbed another knife from the bedside table and held it out in front of her. "Who the hell are you?" she growled.

"It's me, sweetheart."

"That's impossible. We burned your body."

"I know you did--listen, baby, I don't have much time. Jack sent me."

She paused, knife lowering slightly. "Jack sent you?"

I nodded. "Run whatever tests you need, babe, but it's me. It's really me."

She took a step towards me, then moved with surprising speed, tossing holy water at my face and pressing the silver knife against my skin.

"Dean?" she whimpered softly, dropping the knife to the floor.

"It's me, beautiful."

She said my name again before slamming her lips against mine in a hungry kiss. I kissed her back and my arms wrapped around her to pull her closer. I couldn't even express how much I'd missed this feeling.

When she broke the kiss, I saw tears in her eyes and I knew the look on her face was reflected on mine.

"I missed you so much," she whispered.

"I missed you too."

"How is this possible?"

"Jack sent me down here to say a proper goodbye--he said I deserved it."

She smiled and caressed my face. "How long do we have?"

"He gave me an hour."

She nodded. "Then we have no time to waste."

She pulled me even closer to her, kissing me with more passion than before. I knew what she wanted by the way she held me, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it just as much.

I pulled her down onto the bed with me, ridding both of us of our clothes as quickly as possible. I held her close to me as we made love, not wanting to forget a single moment.

She whispered my name against my skin as she came around me, repeating the sound as she came down from her high. She held me tightly as I found my release, my teeth nipping at her pulse point to stay quiet.

We laid there quietly in each other's arms for a few minutes, but we both knew we didn't have a lot of time. I sighed softly as I dragged myself out of the bed to grab a washcloth to clean her up before we tugged our clothes back on.

Suddenly, (Y/N) seemed to realize something and yelled, "Oh my god! Oh my god, you don't know."

"Know what, sweetheart?"

"I--you--we...do you wanna meet your daughter?" she whispered.

I smiled warmly. "Little Charlie? I'd love to meet her."

Surprise lit up her pretty face. "You--you know?"

"Another gift from Jack--everyone in heaven is able to check in on the people they love down here. So I've been keeping an eye on you and Sam."

Tears filled her eyes again, and she couldn't formulate a verbal response. Instead she wrapped me in another hug and placed a soft kiss to my lips.

"I hear you when you talk to me too, ya know."

"You do?"

"I do. Anytime you call out to me, I can hear it."

She smiled warmly. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Dean."

"I can tell you it makes me incredibly happy."

She took a deep breath and shook her head, as if to shake off the intense emotions she was feeling. She turned away from me, walking over to the crib behind her. She reached in and scooped up our daughter before walking over to me.

"Do you wanna hold her, baby?"

I nodded, emotion clouding my vision. "I'd love to."

She slipped Charlie into my arms and I fell in love instantly. I didn't know I could feel this way about someone. I held my baby girl close to my chest and stared at her beautiful, peaceful sleeping face.

"She's so perfect, (Y/N/N)."

"She really is," she whispered as she leaned against my shoulder. "I'm so happy to get to have this moment with you."

I looked over at her with a soft smile. "Me too, sweetheart."

Charlie opened her eyes at the sound of our voices and made a cute little cooing sound that warmed my heart instantly. She reached one of her little hands up towards my face and I moved my hand towards her. She wrapped her fingers around one of mine and cooed again.

"Hi, princess," I whispered. "Aren't you just the most beautiful girl?"

(Y/N/N) chuckled softly and kissed my shoulder.

"You're gonna look just like your mama. I can tell. Hopefully you get her brain too."

"And your daddy's bravery and loyalty."

I smiled at her and she returned my expression. "Oh and her name? Perfect."

"You like it?"

"Yeah, baby. I love it."

"I wanted to honor your best friend and the two women who helped make you the incredible man you are."

I leaned down to her and kissed her again. "I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, Dean."

We spent several more minutes in silence together, just looking at our beautiful baby--the baby we created together.

"We should go wake Sam," (Y/N) said softly.

"He'd kill me if I didn't see him too."

"He might kill me too," she teased.

She went to the door and gestured for me to follow. I followed her down the hall to Sam's room and waited as she knocked.

"(Y/N/N)? You okay?" Sam asked as he opened the door.

"I have a surprise." She stepped to the side to allow me to come into the doorway.

Sam's jaw dropped in shock. (Y/N) reached out and pulled Charlie from my arms and addressed Sam. "It's really him, Sammy."

"Dean?"

I nodded and my little brother practically tackled me in a hug.

(Y/N) smiled at the scene in front of her. She'd never expected to get another chance to say goodbye to me and she knew Sam needed this as much as she did.

"How are you here?" Sam asked as he finally let me go.

"A little favor from Jack--just for an hour. I'm here to say goodbye properly and to meet my baby girl."

Sam seemed to remember (Y/N) and Charlie's presence and he turned his attention to them. "I don't know what to say."

"I don't think any of us do," she said gently.

"That's not entirely accurate," I said softly. "I'd been thinking about what I would say if I could talk to you both."

I turned my attention to Sam first. "Sammy, I just want you to be happy. I want you to live a good, full life--the kind of life you always dreamed of. You deserve to be happy and I really couldn't ask for anything more than that."

As I finished addressing Sam, I heard Jack's voice from behind me. "Dean? It's time."

I turned to him and pleaded softly, "Just a couple more minutes to say goodbye to (Y/N)...please."

Jack nodded and took a step back to allow me to finish.

"Dean?" (Y/N) whispered.

"Your turn," I said gently as I reached for Charlie, pulling her into my arms with a smile. "Now you better be a good girl, you hear me? You treat your mama with honor and respect. You have no idea how lucky you are to have her as your mother, but I hope someday you realize it...and I hope you know just how much I love you. I'll always watch over you, little one. I promise." I placed a gentle kiss to her little forehead and she stirred happily. "Sammy, can you hold your niece for me?"

Sam nodded and took Charlie from my arms, too emotional to say anything else. He just clapped me on the shoulder and nodded--it was all I needed to understand what he couldn't say.

"Your turn, baby," I whispered as I took a step towards my wife.

"I'm not ready," she whimpered.

"Me neither, sweetheart, but here it goes." I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to me. She looked up at me with teary eyes and I took a deep breath before continuing. "You are the light of my life and I am so honored to have been loved by you all these years. I would do anything to be able to stay with you, but we both know that's not in the cards for us. That doesn't mean I won't be with you...I'll always be with you, sweetheart, even if it's only in your memories and your heart."

She sniffled and tried to smile a little. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before continuing.

"I want you to keep living, (Y/N). I need you to keep going--to fight for the life you and our daughter deserve. I'm so proud of everything you and I have accomplished together and I can't wait to see what amazing things you do with the rest of your life. I love you, baby, and I'll never stop."

She closed her eyes and nodded, tears slipping past her lids. She opened them back up and stood on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine. "I'll love you forever, Dean Winchester," she whispered against my lips.

I kissed her deeply, pouring everything I had into the kiss. I needed her to know exactly how much I loved her and how badly I would miss her.

After what felt like both eternity and not nearly long enough, we separated. "I've gotta go, beautiful," I whispered.

"I know," she whispered back.

I kissed her lips again, then her forehead, before pulling away from her. I smiled at my brother, who returned the expression in kind. I touched my daughter's cheek and turned away before I lost the nerve to walk to Jack's side.

"Jack?" (Y/N) called.

Jack's attention went to her and he smiled gently.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, (Y/N)."

"Keep him out of trouble," she said lightly with a small smile.

Jack chuckled softly. "I don't think even I can do that."

I turned back to look at my family one last time and I couldn't help but go back to give (Y/N) one last kiss. "Goodbye my love," I murmured.

"I'll see you later, Dean," she said gently. "This isn't forever."

I held her close and kissed the top of her head. "Take your time, baby. Take your time."

I pulled away from her and walked away, refusing to look back--knowing if I did, it would break my heart. I looked at Jack and said softly, "I'm ready."

He nodded and touched my forehead just as he had before. When I opened my eyes again, I couldn't help but smile as I stood outside of the Roadhouse. I knew I would never be whole as long as (Y/N) and I were apart, but I felt so much better knowing she was safe, happy, and loved...that she would never give up, that she would keep living.

**********

Almost three years had passed since you'd said goodbye to Dean. It had been an eventful time--and a deeply emotional three years. You couldn't begin to express how much you missed him, but it comforted you to know he was okay and could check in on you whenever he liked.

You'd moved into Donna's house and you would be forever grateful for her compassion, kindness, and friendship--and for her help with Charlie. Raising a child on your own wasn't easy, but you were blessed with a chosen family who would never let you down.

On this particular night, you were curled up in bed, staring at the ceiling as you so often did. You spoke to Dean, telling him how much you missed him and updating him on Charlie's life.

"I can't believe she's already three," you murmured. "She has your eyes, you know--the most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen."

You sighed. "There are moments...moments when she looks up at me and I swear I'm looking into your eyes. I just have this feeling she's going to be so much like you, even if she looks more like me."

You chuckled before continuing. "I hope she's strong and brave like you, and also kind and loyal like you. I hope she loves as passionately as you did and I hope she never has to wonder her worth--or how much we love her."

You'd just finished speaking when you heard a soft whimper at your door a second before it opened. Charlie stepped through it, eyes teary.

"Hey baby, what's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she whispered.

You pulled the blankets back and invited her into your bed. The little girl curled up against you with her head on your shoulder. You rubbed her back soothingly and asked her what she'd dreamed about.

"A monster," she whispered fearfully.

**********

Dean's POV:

I'd been listening to (Y/N) talk to me when Charlie suddenly appeared in the room, telling her mother she'd had a nightmare. I watched as (Y/N) invited her to come sleep in her bed and ask her what she'd dreamed about.

"A monster," she'd whispered.

"A monster?" (Y/N) asked. "What kind of monster, baby?"

"He was big and hairy and he had claws and red eyes and he was really scary," Charlie rambled. "He came out of my closet and tried to hurt me."

I watched (Y/N) pull her a little closer, holding her tighter than before. She kissed the top of Charlie's head and promised her she was safe.

"No monster is going to hurt you, little one," she reassured our daughter. "Do you know why?"

Charlie looked up at her, bright green eyes filled with fear as she shook her head.

(Y/N) smiled at her warmly. "Because you're a Winchester. And do you know what monsters fear the most, sweetheart?"

Charlie again shook her head.

"Winchesters," (Y/N) whispered. "Your daddy and your Uncle Sammy made sure of that. No monster would dare try to hurt you."

"Really?" she asked in a small voice.

"Really," (Y/N) confirmed. "Besides, I'm here to protect you and so is your Aunt Donna. I will always keep you safe, Charlie. Always."

Charlie seemed pleased by this, a little smile appearing on her face. "You promise?"

(Y/N) smiled and kissed her on the head. "I promise, little one."

Charlie nestled in closer to her mother and sighed contentedly. (Y/N) stroked her hair and began to sing softly, the sound more soothing than anything she'd said thus far.

I watched my beautiful wife comforting our daughter in a way my father had never comforted us when we were afraid. (Y/N) made Charlie feel safe and protected and I knew she would defend her with her life--just as I would have done.

I stayed long enough to hear (Y/N) sing all the words to 'Let It Be', her favorite Beatles song. It reminded me of when I was young and my mother sang her favorite, 'Hey Jude'.

I wished I was there for them both--to comfort and protect the way a father and a husband should. But I knew the people I had left behind would always be there for my girls, and that had to be enough.

By the time (Y/N) finished singing, Charlie had fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful it warmed my heart. (Y/N) smiled up at the ceiling and blew a kiss my way--her way of closing the conversation.

I returned to heaven, pleased with the knowledge the people I loved most were safe and happy. I couldn't ask for anything more.

**********

"Charlie MaryEllen Winchester!" you yelled as your daughter ran across the backyard of Sam and Eileen's house.

You heard her contagious giggle and you shook your head. "This child..." you mumbled as Sam came up beside you.

"She's a lot like her dad."

"So is yours," you teased as you nodded towards little Dean as he chased Charlie throughout the yard.

"I feel like naming him after Dean should have been a warning."

You laughed. "He's got great parents, so I wouldn't worry about him."

Sam slung an arm around you and tugged you into his side. "Charlie's got a pretty great mom too."

You smiled up at him and laid your head against him. "I can't believe she's six."

"Neither can I," Sam admitted. "And Dean's three? When the hell did that happen?"

"No idea."

"Kids!" Eileen called from the doorway. "Dinner!" The kids ran into the house and Eileen gestured at the two of you. "That means you too!"

You laughed. "How does she put up with us?"

"She's a saint."

"Amen."

After dinner, the five of you gathered in the living room to play board games. Halfway through a game of Monopoly, Charlie looked up at you and asked for a story.

"You always tell the best stories, mama."

You smiled. "Okay, munchkin. What kind of story do you want?"

"Can you tell one about daddy?"

Emotion clouded your face for a moment before you smiled at your daughter again. You looked into her beautiful green eyes and hummed softly. "I think I can come up with something."

"So does that mean we're done with Monopoly?" Sam asked hopefully.

"I think so," you chuckled.

"Thank god." He turned to little Dean. "Auntie (Y/N) is gonna tell a story about your Uncle Dean."

"Uncie Dean!" he squealed happily.

You laughed warmly and gestured for both kids to come sit in front of you. You closed your eyes for a moment, mentally calling out to your husband in the hopes he would check in and see this moment.

"How 'bout the time daddy gave me an impromptu birthday party?"

Sam laughed loudly. "I love that story."

You smiled. "Me too." Your expression changed as you reminisced, but the warmth never left your eyes.

"It was my 25th birthday and your daddy wanted to celebrate what he deemed was a big milestone..."

**********

Dean's POV:

I heard (Y/N) call my name, so I told Charlie, Jo, and Pamela that I had to forfeit our game of pool. "It's (Y/N/N)," I said with a shrug.

"Awww," all three of them said in a teasing tone.

I waved them off as I went outside to visit my wife. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the whole family sitting in Sam and Eileen's living room.

My daughter and my nephew were sitting on the floor watching (Y/N) with wide eyes. Even Sam and Eileen were paying close attention. (Y/N) appeared to be telling some kind of story and she was signing it as well to make sure Eileen could keep up.

I entered the room fully and heard (Y/N) telling a story--a story about me.

"We weren't exactly big on celebrating birthdays in our line of work, but Dean got it into his head that today was important and needed to be celebrated. I have no idea what the heck he was thinking, since we were living out of motels at the time, but he decided he wanted to have a birthday party for me."

"He didn't say a word to me about it," she continued, "but he did tell his brother." She threw a pointed look in Sam's direction and he shrugged innocently. "We had just started dating...I think it had only been a few months, actually."

"It was six months," Sam cut in at the same time I whispered, "Six."

(Y/N) laughed. "Okay, six months. Anyway, we didn't have any cases on the horizon--no where else we needed to be, so your father thought it would be a good idea to have a celebration. He bought a cake, balloons, streamers--the whole nine yards."

"He sent the two of us out to pick up dinner so he could decorate the little motel room," Sam added.

"When we returned, the entire room was covered in decorations and he was standing in the middle of the room holding a bundle of lilies--my favorite flower."

She sighed happily at the memory and I had a feeling she could picture it as well as I could.

"He even said 'surprise!' when we came into the room. I remember it being a really heartwarming moment for me. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd celebrated a birthday and here was this man I'd only been with for a short time going all out to celebrate me."

"Your's was the only birthday I can remember him making a fuss over," Sam commented. "That's when I knew how much he cared about you."

She chuckled lightly. "Oddly enough, I still wasn't sure why he'd picked me, and I had no clue how deeply he cared for me...but I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew I loved him."

Both kids leaned forward, especially Charlie, who seemed to be hanging on to her mother's every word. Even Sam looked like he was unaware of this part of the story.

"We'd had dinner, and Dean forced Sam to sing me happy birthday--which was hilarious, I might add--and then he brought out the cake. It wasn't a store-bought cake like I'd expected. It was a homemade cake--yellow cake with chocolate icing, my absolute favorite. I was beyond shocked, especially since we didn't have an oven."

She grinned as she continued. "When I asked him where he got it, he admitted that the day before he'd gone to the store to get the supplies he needed and then he uh--well, he broke into a bakery to use their oven to bake me a cake for my birthday. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me...and silly as it might sound, that was the exact moment I knew I was in love with him."

"Daddy broke into a bakery?" Charlie asked.

(Y/N) laughed. "Yes, he did, but it was a special circumstance. Don't commit crimes, kids."

Sam laughed and I could tell he was thinking about all the illegal shit we'd done in our lives--all kinds of things we wouldn't want either of our children to do.

"I want someone to break into a bakery to make me a cake," my daughter mumbled.

All the adults in the room laughed, myself included.

"Baby, I'd break into a bakery for you any day," (Y/N) teased warmly. She reached out and scooped Charlie up and pulled her onto her lap. She squeezed her tightly before tickling her stomach lightly to emphasize her words.

I watched the sweet moment for a little while longer before the ache of not being with them became unbearable. I blew my wife a kiss I knew she couldn't see and one for my daughter as well. "I love you both," I whispered before returning to my rightful place.

**********

"Moooooom!" Charlie moaned. "It's Sunday! You can't do things on Sunday."

You laughed and rolled your eyes. "You wouldn't have to do anything today if you'd done your homework yesterday, like I told you to."

She grumbled and sighed. "I hate homework."

"You sound like your dad," you teased lightly.

Charlie seemed to brighten at the comment, as she often did when she was compared to her dad. "Can't we do our Sunday dance party first?" she pleaded.

You sighed, giving her a look you'd often used on Dean. It clearly said 'You aggravate the hell out of me, but I love you endlessly'. Charlie knew what it meant as well as Dean had, so she knew she'd won.

"Fine," you mumbled, throwing your hands up.

"I'll pick the first song!" Charlie yelled as she jumped out of her chair and ran towards the stereo.

You'd bought an old stereo that could play cassette tapes as a kind of homage to Dean. After all, you had all of the albums he'd loved on cassette.

"This one!" Charlie exclaimed, pressing play on the machine.

The intro to 'You Shook Me All Night Long' by AC/DC started playing and you couldn't help but laugh. It was probably your fault she loved classic rock so much, but she really seemed to thrive on it the same way Dean had.

You watched your daughter start dancing around the living room to one of her favorite songs. At nine years old, she had no idea what the song was really about--but she sang those lyrics with all her might.

She grabbed your hand and dragged you into the dance with her. The two of you danced around the living room, singing along to song after song until you were both out of breath.

You'd started 'Sunday Dance Party' back when Charlie was just a baby. You'd dance around with her in your arms, singing along to songs that spoke to your soul--and songs Dean had loved with all his heart. The tradition had continued on for nine years now--and you hoped it would never end.

"Okay," you gasped breathlessly as the last song came to an end. "How 'bout a slower song to wind down?

Charlie nodded her agreement and started digging through the albums. "Mom, where's the Bob Seger one?"

Your heart clenched for a moment, remembering how you'd taken the album to your room to listen to it when you were having a particularly rough night. "One sec, baby. Let me grab it."

You went to your room and retrieved the tape, delivering it to your daughter who looked confused.

"Why was it in your room?"

"I wanted to listen to it earlier this week. It's--well it's a special album."

Charlie looked at you quizzically.

"It was one of your dad's favorites. He always said Bob Seger was the greatest lyricist of all time..." You closed your eyes, picturing Dean's face as he sang along to 'Night Moves'. "I can still hear him singing along."

Charlie looked sad and she reached out to grab your hand. "Do you wanna listen to someone else?"

You smiled and wiped the stray tear that had fallen on your cheek. "No, baby. Pick a Bob Seger song."

Charlie gave you a lopsided smile that so resembled one of Dean's and your heart tightened. She selected a song and to your surprise, Dean's favorite Bob Seger song started to play.

"Night Moves," you whispered.

"I really like this one," Charlie admitted.

You took her hands and started to sway to the music. "It was your dad's favorite."

Charlie beamed at that--clearly pleased with the correlation. It was another song she knew every word to, but had no idea what it was about. It made you smile, hearing her sing along.

When the song came to an end, Charlie looked up at you. "Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"What was dad's all-time favorite song?"

You exhaled slowly as you thought about it. "He had two--'Ramble On' and 'Traveling Riverside Blue'."

"Led Zeppelin."

You grinned. "Very good. Your dad would be proud."

She smiled. "What's yours?"

Your expression changed, the smile falling from your face. "If you'd asked me before I met your dad, my answer would have been different. But now? It's an REO Speedwagon song from the '80s. It's called 'Can't Fight This Feeling'."

"I...I don't think I know that one."

"That's probably because I haven't played it in a very long time--you were probably four the last time I listened to it."

"Why?"

"It was too hard to listen to it," you admitted. "The night Dean--your dad--asked me out, we went to a karaoke bar. He decided he wanted to sing a song and he chose 'Can't Fight This Feeling'. He dedicated it to me and it became our song. When he asked me to marry him, that song was playing in the background and it was the song we danced to at our wedding."

"So it reminds you of dad."

You nodded. "More than any other song ever could."

"Could we...could we listen to it?" she asked softly. A pained expression crossed your face and she immediately backtracked. "We don't have to."

"No, no, it's okay. We can listen to it. It's probably way past time I listen to it again."

You went into your room and dug out the old REO Speedwagon album, bringing it out to the living room and placing it in the cassette player. You pressed play and as the intro started, your chest tightened again.

Charlie listened intently as the song played and you swayed along to it, the lyrics slipping from your lips softly. For a moment, you swore you could feel Dean standing behind you with his arms wrapped around you, swaying with you. You closed your eyes and heard his voice in your mind, singing softly just for you to hear.

**********

"What am I supposed to do with her?" you grumbled, head in your hands as you sat across the table from Jody.

Your friend laughed softly. "She's a teenager now, (Y/N). She's probably gonna be a bit of a pain in the ass for a while."

You groaned. "You raised teenage girls. How did you do it?"

Jody smiled. "It wasn't easy, let me tell you, but my girls are good girls now and I'm thankful for it. It's probably gonna be a little harder for you, though--Charlie takes after her father in a lot of ways."

"Oh you mean like his stubborn, pig-headedness? Or his sarcasm and biting humor?"

Jody laughed. "Yeah all of that is true--but she also takes after him in a lot of the good ways too. She's just as deeply emotional as him, but she doesn't know how to express it or understand it yet."

You sighed. "You're not wrong. Dean never really learned how to express it, but he didn't exactly have a normal childhood. I'm just hoping I can help her--that is if I don't kill her for mouthing off all the damn time."

**********

Dean's POV:

I was surprised to see (Y/N) sitting at Jody's dining table, the older woman sitting across from her. (Y/N) looked stressed and I felt the strong urge to comfort her, even though I knew I couldn't.

"You're not gonna kill her," Jody assured my wife.

"I just might if she tells me I'm ruining her life one more time."

"Uh-oh. I've heard that one before. What's she think you're doing?"

"I told her she can't hunt."

"Well yeah, she's 13."

(Y/N) shook her head. "Ever. I told her she could never hunt."

Jody looked sad, but unsurprised. "Ahh..and she didn't take that well."

"No," (Y/N) said firmly. "No, she did not."

I was more than a little surprised (Y/N) had told Charlie she couldn't hunt. I mean, I didn't want her to hunt either, but it wasn't like (Y/N) to try and make life decisions for someone else.

"Did you tell her why?" Jody asked.

"I tried, but she was too angry to hear me," (Y/N) whispered. "I can't lose her, Jody--she's all I have."

Jody reached out and squeezed her hand. "She's not all you have, honey, but I get what you're saying. She's your daughter and you don't want that life for her."

"She's all I have left of Dean," she whispered so softly, Jody had to lean in to hear her.

"Oh honey," Jody said gently as she got up to give my wife a hug. She cried into Jody's shoulder and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a very private moment I wasn't meant to see. I was about to go back to heaven when I heard (Y/N) speak again.

"Do you think I should tell her everything?"

Jody sighed as she thought about it. "Do you think she's ready to know the truth?"

"I honestly don't know," she admitted. "But I can't help but feel that if she only knew, she wouldn't want that life for herself...and maybe she would understand why I don't either."

I wasn't entirely sure what (Y/N) was referring to. I assumed she meant the general horror that was our lives--and all the pain and loss that went with it.

"Talk to Sam," Jody suggested. "See what he thinks."

(Y/N) nodded her agreement and I decided to stay with her until she spoke to Sam...I had a feeling I would want to know what happened next.

**********

"Hey Sammy," you said softly as he opened the door.

"Here to get Charlie?" he asked.

You nodded, but grabbed his arm to keep him from turning around to get her. "I...I wanted to talk to you first."

"Sure, (Y/N/N). You okay?"

You shook your head. "Did she mention how much she hates me?"

Sam sighed and guided you to his office, just off the front door. "She mentioned something about it, yeah."

"I told her she couldn't be a hunter."

"I'm surprised she'd even want to be, given how much death and pain it caused all of us."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Sam raised his eyebrows, but remained quiet, waiting for you to continue.

"I didn't tell her the whole story," you admitted. "About Dean's death."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't want her to know how awful it really was, so I told her he died instantly--painlessly."

Sam sighed softly. "(Y/N)..."

"I know! I know...I shouldn't have lied to her. But the truth is so much worse and I didn't want those images in her mind. I didn't want her to know how he suffered, how we watched him die knowing we couldn't save him."

A soft gasp behind you alerted you to the presence of another person. You spun around just in time to see your daughter peeking around the corner, a look of horror on her face. As soon as you made eye contact, Charlie raced away from you, running up the stairs and locking herself in the guest bedroom.

"Charlie!" you called as you ran after her, Sam close on your heels.

You knocked on the door and begged her to open it--to let you explain, but she refused.

"Baby, please just open the door," you begged.

Sam touched your arm and gestured something you didn't quite understand. He repeated the gesture and a look of comprehension spread across your face. You nodded and he left quickly to grab what he needed.

When he returned, he had his lock picking tools in his hand and he began to pick the bedroom door lock. When it clicked, signaling it was now unlocked, he stepped back and allowed you to enter.

**********

Dean's POV:

I was shocked by the events that had led to this moment, but at the same time, I didn't really blame my wife for lying to Charlie. In all honesty, I had done the same thing about a million times in my life--all under the guise of protection.

As (Y/N) stepped into the room, I followed her, eyes darting around the space, trying to find my daughter. I finally noticed her, curled up on the floor on the other side of the bed, back against the wall and knees pulled up to her chest.

(Y/N) clearly saw her too because she made her way over there, dropping to her knees in front of Charlie. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she whispered.

"You lied to me," Charlie seethed.

I saw (Y/N)'s eyes flutter closed for a moment, tears beginning to form. "You're right," she admitted softly. "I lied to you. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I can't change it. If you'll let me, I'd like to explain why...and tell you the truth."

"How do I know you won't lie again?"

"I guess you'll just have to trust me."

Charlie finally made eye contact with her mother and my heart nearly broke at the hurt look on her face. She'd been crying pretty hard and her eyes were red and puffy. She looked conflicted, but finally reached out a hand and her mother grabbed it, pulling her to her feet.

(Y/N) and Charlie sat on the bed in silence for a moment before (Y/N) began to speak. "When you were little and you'd ask me where your dad was, it always hurt me to answer you. When you were born, I was still in mourning, and I never really dealt with his death until you were a few months old."

She took a deep breath before continuing, "Our lives were complicated in a way I could never fully describe to you. Your father always believed he would die young--I was just too naive to agree. His death broke me in ways I'm embarrassed to admit. He was my everything, Charlie, and for a while, I wished I could trade places with him."

She sighed, tears falling freely now. "But then I found out I was pregnant and I had to shift my whole mindset. My life became about taking care of you--protecting you--and nothing else mattered. I may not have always gone about it in the right way, but I never intended to hurt you."

Charlie sniffled a little and turned to face (Y/N) as she continued talking.

"The things this family has done--the lives we've saved, has earned us a bit of special treatment. I know I've told you a lot of things about monsters and demons and angels--all of those things were true. Heaven and Hell really do exist, and your dad really is in heaven."

She closed her eyes, thinking back to many years prior. "When you were a baby, your dad was given a gift by god. He was able to return to earth for one short hour to say goodbye to me and Uncle Sammy--and to meet you."

Charlie's eyes widened in shock. "He met me?"

(Y/N) nodded. "Yeah, baby, he did. He held you in his arms and told you how perfect you were--and how he wanted your life to be beautiful and amazing; sentiments I also share. It wasn't until that moment I really started to heal--to properly grieve."

"But what about his death?" Charlie whispered. "I heard you say it was awful and he suffered."

I watched agony flash across my wife's face and I wanted so badly to hold her--to take away the pain. Just like I wanted to shield Charlie from the memory (Y/N) was about to share.

"We've lost a lot of people in this life, Charlie. More people than I'd care to admit. The three incredible women you're named after all died as a direct result of hunting--of the life we chose. There were so many others that we loved deeply and lost painfully. Your dad was no different."

"The main parts of the story are true. We were hunting vampires--me, your dad, and your Uncle Sam. Everything seemed fine...it was a shocking cut and dry, easy hunt, but it turned into the worst night of my life. I heard your uncle scream my name and I just knew...I almost didn't turn around."

She sniffed softly and exhaled shakily. The painful memory was not one she had ever wanted to relive. "Your dad had been thrown by a vampire, like so many times before. I didn't even think anything of it, but when I turned around, I saw--" she cleared her throat, "I saw his feet dangling slightly, up against a post, with a piece of metal sticking out of his chest."

Charlie gasped and renewed tears sprang from her eyes.

(Y/N) didn't stop...once she'd begun, she couldn't stop. "I knew without him saying a word that he was dying--this was it. Your uncle and I had to stand there and watch him slowly fade away. I heard him take his last breath, taking a piece of my soul with him. It was hell, Charlie."

Charlie was crying harder as her mother turned to her, her own tears staining her cheeks. (Y/N) reached for her and Charlie dove into the comfort of her arms.

"I'm sorry, mama," she cried.

(Y/N) tightened her grip. "It's alright baby."

The two stayed like that for a long time, not separating until their tears had dried.

When Charlie sat up and wiped her face, she seemed almost sheepish.

(Y/N) turned to her with a sad smile. "So you see, that's why I don't want you to be a hunter. It's not that I think you couldn't do it or a desire to control you--I just don't wanna lose you."

Charlie nodded. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you," she whispered.

"It's okay, baby. I'm not mad."

I couldn't even begin to express the various emotions I was feeling in that moment. I was proud of my wife and heartbroken for her and Charlie. I missed them both terribly and I knew they felt the same. The ache in my chest was a constant reminder of the distance between us--and I didn't know if I could take much more of it.

********

"Well, baby," you said, looking at the ceiling. "Our little girl turns 16 today...and it scares the hell out of me."

You sighed and dragged yourself out of bed, heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

"She's got a boyfriend, you know," you continued. "I think I scared him a little bit when he came over last weekend to meet me. You'd be proud."

You brushed your teeth, humming quietly as you did.

"His name is Zack--he seems nice enough. I'm not too worried about her. She's a tough girl and knows how to fight, thanks to her mama."

You sighed as you ran a brush through your hair.

"I just can't believe she's two years away from adulthood. It blows my mind," you admitted softly. "It's days like today that I miss you more than ever. I wish you were here Dean, and I love so much."

You blew a kiss towards the ceiling before finishing getting ready.

When you went downstairs, Charlie was already at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"My, my, you're up early," you teased.

"It's not every day a girl turns 16, mom," she teased in return.

"16...god that makes me feel old."

"You are old."

You threw a dish towel at her and she giggled as she blocked it. "Little shit," you mumbled.

"Fry cry from when you used to call me 'little one'."

You smiled. "You were so cute back then."

"What? Am I hideous now?"

You laughed and squeezed her in a tight hug. "You're the most beautiful girl I know."

You kissed her cheek and she groaned. "Gross, mom."

You laughed. "You know, someday you're gonna miss this. Soon, you'll be going off to college and leaving me in the dust. You'll get married and move away and one day you'll wake up and think 'man I wanna hug my mom'."

Charlie rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She paused for a moment, her face sobering slightly. "Hey mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you date?"

You nearly choked on your coffee. "Pardon?"

"Why don't you ever date? You're pretty and smart--I know there's a lot of hot, single dads at school who would love to take you out."

"As much as I appreciate that darling, I'm not interested in dating."

"Why not?"

You sat your mug down. "Why the sudden interest in my dating life?"

"Because I'm going to college soon, mom--and I don't want you to be alone," she admitted softly.

You sighed. "Oh sweetheart. You don't need to worry about me, I'll be just fine. Besides, I'm not alone--not really."

"I don't mean friends mom, I mean someone to love you."

"To be honest with you, Charlie, I've thought about it...but I know, in my heart, no one will ever compare to your dad. No one could ever love me the way he did, nor could I ever love someone as much as I love him. So I don't mind being alone--I know for a fact I will see your dad again. That's a gift most people will never have."

"I want a love like that," Charlie said quietly.

You smiled. "I hope you will someday, baby. I really do."

She smiled and nodded, looking down at the last of her cereal. "It's kind of nice knowing heaven is real--like not just having faith, but knowing."

You glanced up, a small smile on your face. "Yeah it is, sweetheart. Yeah it is."

**********

"Mama," Charlie whimpered as she practically barged through your front door and straight into your arms.

"What's wrong baby? What happened?"

"Steven broke up with me," she cried.

"Oh sweetheart," you said gently. "Come on in and sit down. Let me make you some chamomile tea."

Charlie sniffled and nodded, coming into the house and sitting down at the kitchen island to watch you as you prepared her tea.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"He said I wasn't good enough for him--that he's going places and I'll just 'hold him back'."

You closed your eyes and your grip tightened on the tea kettle in your hand. You felt the strong urge to go find this kid and smack him around a little, but you knew that wouldn't solve anything. It certainly wouldn't fix your daughter's broken heart. For the first time, you were glad Dean wasn't here--you knew he would have beaten the shit outta the kid for hurting his baby girl.

"He's obviously an idiot--and an asshole, for that matter."

Charlie sniffled again. "But I love him."

You sighed softly, turning around to face her. "I know, sweetie. But I also know he's not the right man for you."

"How do you know?"

"He would have never said those things to you if he was. If he loved you and I mean truly loved you, you would be his priority."

Charlie nodded, but still looked horribly sad. You finished making her tea and sat the cup down in front of her with a soft smile.

"You're gonna be okay, baby. It's going to hurt for a while--and that's alright--it's okay to feel. But you're going to dust yourself off and keep going."

"What if I never find anyone?" she whispered.

"You're 19, Charlie," you said gently. "You've got so much time. I was 31 when I married your father."

She looked up at you with sad eyes. "I wanna find a love like you and daddy."

You inhaled deeply. "That's all I've ever wanted for you, sweetheart--and I know your dad would want the same thing. I'm sure it's hard to not have relationship role models in your parents, but at least you know how we feel about each other."

Charlie shook her head qucikly. "You guys are my relationship role models. Just because dad isn't here, doesn't mean I don't look up to him and you. I've heard stories about how much he loved you my entire life--from everyone, Uncle Sam, Aunt Donna, Aunt Eileen, Aunt Jody, Claire, Alex...everyone. And I've seen how much you love him...even now. It's been 19 years since he died and your love hasn't diminished."

Tears filled your eyes. You were glad she knew how much her parents loved each other, even if she never saw them together.

You came around the island and took Charlie's hand, guiding her to the couch in the living room. She sat down beside you and you held her close, letting her cry softly into your chest.

"Let me tell you something, sweetheart. Someday, you're going to meet someone who makes you laugh, holds you when you cry, supports all of your goals and ambitions, and loves you for who you are. They'll treat you right, respect you, and fight for you even when it's difficult."

You kissed the top of her head and continued, "I hope that person makes you feel amazing--like you're the only woman in the world to them. I want you to be loved fully--by someone who sees your value, your worth. And I hope you love them with the same kind of endless passion."

Charlie sniffed and held you a little tighter.

"I love your dad with everything I have--he's the other half of my soul. He loved me infinitely more than I deserved and I am incredibly honored to have experienced that kind of love. All I want is for you to experience a love like that--a love that lasts forever...death be damned."

**********

Dean's POV:

I listened to my daughter cry over her first broken heart and I watched my wife comfort her in a way only someone as amazing as she is could do.

I listened to Charlie say her mother and I were her role models--that she hoped to find a love like ours one day.

I cried as I listened to my wife tell our daughter her hopes for the future--and the love she hoped Charlie would experience. I cried even harder as (Y/N) tells her the kind of love we shared--the kind that lasts even in death.

I can't help but share the same hope as my wife--echo the same prayers for her future. She deserves the world, and that includes a love story for the ages.

I watch, with tears in my eyes, as my wife glances up at the ceiling and mouths 'I love you' before blowing a kiss. This time, I whisper the words back and blow a kiss to her, hoping somehow she can sense it.

**********

"He's just such a great guy," Charlie gushed.

You looked over at Sam, trying to gauge his reaction.

"Does he treat you right?" he asked.

Charlie nodded eagerly. "He's so good to me. He's always respectful and sweet--I...I think I love him."

Your eyes widened and you gave Sam a pointed look.

"Why don't you bring him by for dinner on Saturday?" Sam suggested.

"That would be great!" She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Uncle Sam!"

She rushed out the door, giddy in the way only new love could be.

"So you're gonna research the hell outta him, right?" you asked.

"Obviously," Sam agreed.

By the time Saturday rolled around, Sam had completed his research and to your happy surprise, there didn't seem to be anything concerning in this guy's past. Of course, you took precautions, as you so often did with Charlie's friends and boyfriends. You needed to make sure she was safe.

Sam had laid out the silver dinnerware and you'd blessed all the water in the house, just in case. You could never be too careful--you were still Winchesters after all.

When Charlie and her boyfriend, Paul, arrived, you were surprised by how gentlemanly he was. He'd brought you flowers, which you thought was a very sweet gesture, especially since they were lilies--your favorite.

"That's so sweet of you, Paul," you said warmly. "Lilies are my favorite."

He smiled. "I asked Charlie what your favorite was so I could get you something you would like."

You were surprised by the thoughtfulness of the gesture, but it gave you a very positive feeling in your chest. A feeling you could see reflected in your daughter's eyes.

The more you talked with him and the more information you got, the more you liked him. He was genuinely kind and caring, and you could see how much he cared for Charlie.

He made her laugh, he made her smile, and he was gently affectionate with her in a way that reminded you of Dean. In fact, there was a lot about him that made you think of Dean...and that made you extremely happy for your daughter.

Eileen, Charlie, and Paul were sitting in the living room after dinner, while you and Sam cleared the table and did dishes. You'd had to practically force Paul to go sit down. He was very insistent on helping you. Normally, you would have happily taken his help, but you really wanted to talk to Sam alone.

"So what do you think?" you asked softly.

"He doesn't seem to be any kind of monster," Sam mumbled. "And he treats Charlie well."

"I like him," you admitted. "He, uhh--he reminds me of Dean."

"Really?" Sam asked in surprise.

"The way he looks at Charlie...the way he makes her laugh and smile...the way she looks at him. All of it reminds me of my relationship with Dean. It's what I've always wanted for her."

Sam smiled. "You must really like him to compare him to Dean."

You chuckled. "You're not wrong. I'm happy for her, but I'm not trying to marry her off yet."

Sam laughed. "I know you're not, don't worry."

Later that night, Charlie asked you what you thought of Paul and you repeated what you'd told Sam earlier.

"He reminds you of dad?" Charlie whispered.

You nodded. "I liked him very much."

"So do I, mom."

You pulled her close, hugging her tightly. "I'm happy for you baby."

"Thanks...I'm glad you approve."

"So does your Uncle Sam, for the record."

"That actually makes me feel really good," Charlie admitted. "It's almost as good as having a seal of approval from dad."

You smiled. "I know your dad would like him too, sweetheart. He makes you happy and that's all we've ever wanted for you."

**********

"Today's the day," you whispered, looking at the framed picture of your husband. "Our baby girl is getting married."

It had been two years since you'd first met Paul and the longer you knew him, the more you liked him. He was the right match for Charlie and you couldn't even begin to describe how happy you were for her. She deserved to be loved by a good man--to experience a love as powerful as her parents have.

You couldn't believe they were getting married today. It was the next step in your daughter's life and it brought you so much joy, and perhaps a little sadness. It was the end of an era. Your little girl was about to start a new life with the man she loved...and it made you miss your other half.

You'd always known today would be difficult. Dean wouldn't be there to walk his daughter down the aisle and it broke your heart, but that didn't mean he couldn't be present. You had a framed picture of him with you at Charlie's suggestion--a way to keep his memory with you on this special day.

His picture was wonderful, but you craved his presence--his soul. You wanted to feel like he was with you, and you knew he'd want to witness the events of the day.

"Hey baby," you said to the ceiling. "I really need you here, Dean."

You waited a few moments in silence, hoping he had heard you.

**********

Dean's POV:

I was lounging in a chair in the Roadhouse, listening to Charlie and Ash have a heated debate about some nerdy computer thing I couldn't possibly understand. Just listening to them made me smile--it felt good to be surrounded by so many people I'd loved and lost.

I took a slow drink of my whiskey and chuckled softly at their antics. I made eye contact with Ellen over the tops of their heads and she had a similar expression on her face.

"I really need you here, Dean."

I heard (Y/N)'s voice in my mind and knew I needed to go to her immediately. She didn't sound distressed, but I could tell she needed me by the tone of her voice.

I stood up and crossed the room towards the bar where Ellen was standing. "I need to go check on (Y/N/N)."

Ellen nodded. "Use the backroom. I'll keep everyone out."

"Thanks, Ellen."

I went into the backroom and sat down. I closed my eyes and pictured the sweetest face in the world--my beloved (Y/N). When I opened my eyes, I was in a place I didn't recognize, looking at a woman I knew to be my wife--even if she didn't quite look like the woman I always pictured.

She was older than even the last time I saw her, but she was no less beautiful. Her curves were softer, her hair was graying, and the lines on her face were deeper. None of that mattered to me, she still stole my heart with just a glance.

She was wearing a long silky robe, which only increased my confusion. We were in a strange place, and she wasn't wearing proper clothes.

"Well, handsome, I think I've given you enough time," she said softly. "You're probably wondering where we are..." she gestured around. "Today is a very special day...it's Charlie's wedding day."

I gasped--I hadn't realized enough time had passed for her to have met a man worthy of marriage...hell, I didn't even know who she was marrying.

"I don't know if you've met Paul yet, but he's a wonderful man, Dean--and he's so good to Charlie. You would really like him, I just know it. He even reminds me of you," she said softly. "He loves her the way you love me. It's what we've always wanted for her."

I couldn't believe my daughter was getting married, but if her soon-to-be-husband was as great as (Y/N) described, then I was beyond happy for her. I wasn't going to miss a single moment of this day, no matter how long it took.

"I've gotta get my dress on and go check on (Y/N). Feel free to go find her--I'll be there soon."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to stay for that...she was still my wife, after all, but it felt creepy to watch her change. Instead, I went to find my daughter.

It didn't take me long to find her and when I did, my heart clenched in my chest. She looked so much like her mother it was almost frightening, the only difference was her eyes.

I had no idea how old she was, but I would have guessed she was around 28--if only based on how her mother had looked at that age. She had long, beautiful hair that was styled in some fancy wedding do. A woman was finishing her makeup and there were other girls in the room with her chatting away as they got ready.

I didn't want to see something I couldn't unsee, so I decided to go back to (Y/N)'s room until the ceremony began.

**********

You smoothed your dress and took a deep breath before entering the bridal suite to check on your daughter. She was just preparing to put on her dress when you entered.

You inhaled sharply and tears stung your eyes as you took in her beautiful face--she almost seemed to sparkle. "You look beautiful, baby," you whispered.

"Thanks mom. I was wondering where you were--I almost sent one of the girls to come get you."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

You crossed the room and hugged her tightly. You helped her into her dress, zipping up the back and looking in the mirror with her.

"How are you feeling?" you asked.

"Nervous," she admitted.

"Don't be. You're marrying a great man. You have nothing to be nervous about."

"Were you nervous on your wedding day?"

You chuckled lightly. "Not even a little."

"Really?"

"Really," you confirmed. "I knew I wanted to marry your father and I knew he would be waiting at the end of the aisle for me--nothing else mattered."

Charlie smiled and you saw some of her nerves fall away. "I wish daddy was here right now," she whispered.

"He is, sweetheart--I know it."

"How do you know?"

"I told him I needed him. He would never ignore that call."

Charlie smiled tearily and you waved your hand in front of her face to dry the tears.

"Don't mess up your makeup, sweetie."

She laughed and you placed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks mom," she murmured.

"You ready?"

She nodded. "I'm ready."

"Then let's go."

**********

Dean's POV:

I waited patiently outside of the bridal suite for my wife and daughter to emerge. I was rendered absolutely speechless when I caught a glimpse of Charlie--she looked even more beautiful than before. Even better, she looked so incredibly happy.

I followed the bridal party as they moved towards the main hall where the ceremony was taking place. I watched as everyone began to line up and I started to wonder who would be walking Charlie down the aisle.

As I had this thought, my brother appeared with something in his hand. He looked older too, of course, but he still looked like my little brother to me.

"I think you forgot something," Sam said to (Y/N) as he handed her what appeared to be a picture frame.

She took it with a teary expression and hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Sammy."

He kissed the top of her head before embracing Charlie. "You look beautiful, Charlie."

"Thanks, Uncle Sam."

"Alright, I've gotta go sit down. Your mother will kill me if I'm late." He addressed his words to a tall young man I quickly recognized as my namesake, Sam's son, Dean.

"Better go fast, the procession is about to start," (Y/N) teased.

I'd assumed Sam would be walking Charlie down the aisle, but now I was truly confused. Perhaps (Y/N/N) was going to do it.

The doors opened and the music poured out as the wedding party began the long walk down the aisle. Before long, the only people who remained were my wife and my daughter.

"You ready, sweetheart?" (Y/N) asked.

Charlie nodded. She took the picture frame from her mother and breathed deeply. She kissed her hand and then placed it on the picture with a small smile. I looked at the picture and surprise lit up my face. It was a picture of me...

She handed it back to her mother with a smile.

"In a way, he's still walking you down the aisle," (Y/N) whispered softly.

"It's perfect," Charlie affirmed.

The wedding march began and (Y/N) squeezed Charlie's arm gently. The two of them began the walk down the aisle and I followed behind them, proud to be there for this powerful moment.

This was the proudest moment of my life--or I guess afterlife. My daughter was happy, my wife was happy--I couldn't have asked for anything better.

**********

"You didn't say it would be this awful," Charlie accused you.

You chuckled lightly. "Of course I did, but you didn't want to listen."

Charlie groaned as a contraction hit her.

You looked up at Paul, who looked slightly terrified. "You alright there, Paul?" you asked gently.

"I feel a little anxious, that's all," he reassured you.

You smiled, thinking back to the day you gave birth to Charlie. Sam's face had looked very similar to the way Paul looked right now.

Much like you, Charlie was tough as nails, and you knew she would make it through childbirth just as you had. "You're doing great, honey," you murmured.

She moaned in pain, squeezing both your hand and Paul's. You winced slightly, but let her keep squeezing. You soothed her gently, brushing her hair back from her face, much like Eileen had done for you 30 years prior.

You almost couldn't believe it had been that long. It was hard to believe how fast the time had gone by, but part of you still felt as though time was too slow. You wanted as much time with your daughter as possible, but your desire to be reunited with Dean was almost as strong. Love was complicated that way.

Charlie's nails biting into your skin roused you from your thoughts and you focused back on your daughter, trying to help her through one of the most incredible--and painful--moments of her life.

Ultimately, Charlie was in labor for a grand total of 14 hours before giving birth to a very healthy baby girl. You watched proudly as she held her newborn daughter in her arms and whispered to her much like you'd done to Charlie when she was born.

"You did so well, sweetheart," you said softly as you stroked Charlie's hair.

She looked up at you with those piercing green eyes of hers--emotion filling every part of her face. "She's so perfect."

You smiled, remembering the past as if it were yesterday. "Just like her mama," you murmured.

Tears filled Charlie's eyes and you kissed her forehead gently. You were just as emotional as she was, but you did your best to hide it. You didn't want to burden her with your emotions.

"Do you have a name picked out?" you asked.

Charlie nodded. "Lillian, after Paul's mother."

You knew Paul's mother had passed away a few years prior, so you thought the sentiment was especially sweet. "Lillian is a good name."

"Her middle name is Deanna...in honor of dad."

You inhaled sharply, surprised by how a simple name stirred up so much emotion. "He would love that, baby. In fact, Deanna is your great grandmother's name. Your grandmother named her children after her parents, Deanna and Samuel...Dean and Sam."

"I never knew that," Charlie whispered.

"I guess I never really thought about it until now."

Charlie looked up at Paul. "What about her last name?"

Charlie had chosen to keep her last name when she got married. She loved the name and the history that came along with it--plus she wanted to honor her dad, a sentiment you appreciated.

"I think we should hyphenate it," Paul answered.

"Lillian Deanna Winchester-Riley," Charlie said slowly. "I like that."

Paul smiled. "I like it too."

You smiled at the young couple and your sweet granddaughter, enjoying the moment as long as you could. There was so much you wanted to say, but now wasn't the time. You wanted this day to be nothing but happiness and love--Charlie deserved it.

**********

Dean's POV:

It had been several days since I'd last heard from (Y/N) and I was beginning to worry. Usually she talked to me pretty often, even if it was only for a few minutes at a time.

I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong, so I decided to check in on her--just in case.

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find myself in a large doctor's office. I looked around the expansive room filled with several large comfortable reclining chairs, confusion flooding my mind. I didn't see (Y/N), but I did notice several people sitting back in their chairs, hooked up to IVs and monitors, and I had a feeling this wasn't a good place.

I began to walk down the rows of chairs, examining every face I came across. It didn't take me long to figure out this was a cancer treatment facility and these patients were likely receiving chemotherapy.

At the end of one of the rows, I saw a middle-aged woman sitting alone, reading a novel. My instincts told me to go to her and as I got closer, I realized I knew the (y/e/c) eyes as well as I knew my own.

"(Y/N)," I whispered as I sunk to my knees in front of her. She looked so much older than the last time I'd seen her, but I knew without a doubt that was due to her illness. She was wearing a pretty bandana on her head to hide her lack of hair and she looked painfully thin.

It broke my heart to see her like this--and it made me angry. Out of all the people in the world, (Y/N) deserved this the least. She was a hero, for god's sake. She'd saved the world as many times as I had, and she was a genuinely good person. She didn't deserve to suffer like this.

"Hey Miss (Y/N)," a woman's voice said from behind me. "How are you feeling?"

(Y/N) looked up at the young woman and smiled. "I'm alright, Cynthia, all things considered."

Cynthia nodded, a sad smile on her face. "Any nausea?"

(Y/N) shook her head. "I guess I'm used to it."

"Alright, well let me know if you need anything. You've got another hour left and then your daughter will be here to pick you up."

(Y/N) nodded and I watched the nurse walk away. When I turned my attention back to (Y/N), I could tell she felt terrible. The chemo was killing her as much as the cancer--she was becoming a shell of the woman I loved so dearly.

I almost couldn't stand to see her like this--the urge to run was one I had to suppress. (Y/N) needed me now more than ever and I would be damned if I left her side for more than a moment. She might not know I was there, but I hoped my presence would somehow comfort her.

I pressed my lips to her forehead in a soft kiss she couldn't feel and I whispered how much I loved her. As much as I wanted to be with her again, I needed her to survive--Charlie needed her more than me right now, so I couldn't be selfish. I would have done anything to make her healthy, but this was one problem I couldn't solve.

**********

You weren't exactly surprised when you'd been diagnosed with cancer three years prior, shortly before the birth of your first grandchild. You didn't tell Charlie until after Lillian was born...you hadn't wanted to worry her.

Chemo had been hell--maybe not quite as bad as what Dean had described hell to be like, but close enough. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You'd spent an entire year going to treatment after treatment, seeing doctor after doctor, and feeling like death the entire time.

You'd lost more than your hair...you'd lost your happiness and your spark--you'd lost yourself. Even now, two years in remission, you still didn't quite feel like your old self. You weren't sure you ever would be...life had simply thrown too many obstacles at you, and you were bound to break at some point.

The two constants in your life during your illness had been Charlie and Sam. You weren't surprised by either one's presence and you appreciated the love and care--even when they were a bit overbearing.

Now that you were healthy again, Charlie had been focusing more on her husband and two children--having just given birth to her second child.

You couldn't fault her for it, after all you'd told her you were completely fine. The only person who saw through you was Sam, but then again, he always had.

"Speak of the devil," you murmured softly as Sam walked into the living room.

"Were you talking about me?" Sam teased lightly.

"Technically, I was thinking about you."

"Okay, good. That's less concerning. For a moment, I thought you'd been talking to yourself."

"I tend to keep those conversations internal."

"You tend to keep everything internal," he admonished as he sat down beside you.

You sighed, hating how right he was.

"So come on. How are you really feeling?"

"Honestly, Sammy, I'm okay. I'm neither good, nor bad...I just am."

Sam exhaled deeply and nodded. "Has therapy helped at all?"

You shook your head. "I can't really explain what I'm feeling to a therapist, ya know? They wouldn't understand--hell, they'd probably think I was nuts."

Sam raised his eyebrows knowingly. "It's Dean again, isn't it?"

Tears filled your eyes. "I miss him now more than I ever have before--with the exception of the weeks after he first died. I can't explain it, but somehow almost dying has made me want to let go...to be with him again."

"I can't even begin to understand how you're feeling," Sam admitted. "But that doesn't mean I won't be here to listen and do what I can to help you. I don't want you to die anytime soon, but I know how it feels to welcome death with open arms."

You laid your head on his shoulder. "It's almost as if cancer took the joy out of life. I thought for sure I'd feel it again when I got better, but it's just not there. I don't want to die, but I'm tired, Sam--I'm so incredibly tired."

He knew what you meant without you having to explain yourself further. He simply wrapped his arms around you and held you close, allowing you to cry against his chest. He would have done anything for you, but he knew this time you were beyond his saving.

**********

It was your annual visit to your oncologist and Charlie had decided to come with you. You'd been in remission for five years now, but you had a feeling of dread you couldn't describe.

Charlie must have sensed it because she demanded to come with you to your appointment. You felt a bit like an invalid, having your daughter come with you, but you knew she was doing it out of love and concern.

"How have you been feeling lately, (Y/N)?" your doctor asked.

"A bit tired, but otherwise okay," you answered.

The doctor nodded, a sad look on her face. It was a look you knew well--you'd seen it before. "Just tell me," you inisisted.

Both Charlie and the doctor looked surprised, but the doctor was the first to recover. "I'm afraid your scans aren't looking good."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath--both knowing and fearing her next words.

"It looks like the cancer is back...and it's spread."

You sighed heavily, but didn't cry--you'd already accepted the inevitability of death and you weren't surprised it was arriving sooner than you'd expected.

Charlie, on the other hand, was devastated. You heard her gasp out a soft sob, so you turned your attention to her, wrapping your arms around her to comfort her.

"How long?" you asked the doctor softly.

"With chemo and maybe some radiation, a year, maybe a year and a half."

Charlie's soft crying intensified, prompting you to hold onto her a little tighter.

"And without treatment?"

"Wait, mom--no," Charlie said quickly.

Your eyes locked on to the doctor's gray ones and she exhaled softly. "A few weeks--two months at most."

Charlie looked up at you, bright green eyes begging you for something you knew you couldn't give.

You smiled sadly, tears of your own filling your eyes. "I can't do it again, baby--I just can't. I don't want to live the last bit of my life suffering like I did with the last round. I'm 70 years old--I've lived my life, and I'm ready to let go."

Charlie sniffled. "But I'm not ready."

"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're never ready for the people we love to leave us. I don't want to leave you, but I can't stay forever."

"How am I supposed to live without you?" she whispered.

You smiled. "Luckily, you have a loving family who will support you through this. Losing someone is never easy, but you'll get through it, sweetheart. I'll be going to join your dad, so we'll both be watching over you."

She seemed to find some comfort in this, but you could still see the pain she was feeling. It broke your heart to leave her, but it was time. You were ready to go home--to Dean, who had always been your home.

**********

Telling Sam you were going to die had been one of the hardest things you'd ever had to do. He hated the idea of losing you almost as much as Charlie did, but he understood why you couldn't go through treatment again.

You'd done the rounds--saying goodbye to all the people you loved who still remained on earth. You would miss them terribly, but you knew this wasn't goodbye--you'd see them all again someday.

For the last week, you'd been in hospice. The end was coming soon and you were ready, even if your daughter wasn't. You were on enough pain medication to take down an elephant, but you managed to stay awake long enough to talk when you had visitors.

Today was one of those days. You'd already said your goodbyes to everyone else you loved, but Charlie was the one you knew would be the hardest. You'd tried to prepare her for this moment, but you knew it wasn't easy for her. You wanted to reassure her everything was going to be alright--she was going to be okay.

"I wanted to talk to you, sweetie," you said softly, interrupting your daughter's story.

"Sure, mom," she murmured, taking your hand. "What is it?"

"I'm ready to go," you whispered. "But I can't leave until you let me go."

Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I'm not ready."

"Yes you are. You're the strongest person I know and you've got a loving husband who will help you through this." You squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Besides, you know where I'm going...how many people can say that?"

She nodded, sniffling softly. "Not many."

"Exactly. But you know. You know heaven is real. You know that all the people we love are there waiting for us. You know I'll always be with you--that I'll be checking in on you any chance I get. That knowledge is a gift, Charlie...the greatest gift I could possibly give you."

She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing your words to sink in. She hated letting you go, but she knew you were right. It hurt her to see you in pain and she could tell you needed to go.

"I will always love you, Charlie. Always. You're the best parts of me--and your dad. I've been honored to be your mother, to watch you grow up, to see the amazing woman you've become. I'm so proud of you in every way a mother can be proud of her daughter. You will always be my little girl--and I will never ever leave your heart."

Charlie laid her head on your chest, letting the tears fall in earnest. "I know how much you love me, mom, and I'm so thankful that I've had all these years with you. I love you so much and I'll miss you always. But I know it's time for you to move on...and you're right, I'll be okay. So it's okay...you can let go now. Go be with dad...where you belong."

Those words warmed your dying heart. They were what you needed to hear--what you needed Charlie to say. This was it. The last few moments of your life on earth. For many people, this moment would spark fear, but for you it was a welcome relief. As you'd told your daughter, you knew where you were going--you were going home.

**********

When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to find yourself in an open field. The sun was shining brightly and birds were singing softly. For a moment, you were lost--unsure of where you were or how you got there.

You looked down at your hands, surprised to see how soft and smooth they were. You'd become accustomed to the wrinkles of old age, but it appeared those were gone.

"Hello, (Y/N)," said a familiar voice from behind you.

You turned around and greeted the young man with a smile. "Jack!"

You hugged him without thinking--something you'd always done when you'd both been on earth. You supposed thinking of him as a 'young man' wasn't quite accurate anymore, but that's how you'd probably always see him.

Jack returned your embrace with a gentle smile. "Welcome to heaven."

You let go of him and nodded. "I, uhh, I think I'm a little younger than I was when I died." You held your hands up as evidence.

Jack nodded. "You are the same age you were when Dean passed away. I thought you would appreciate that."

You blinked away tears and nodded quickly. "Thank you," you whispered. You were about to ask where Dean was when Jack nodded towards a building in the distance.

"He's in there."

You glanced towards the building, eyes narrowing to read the signage above the door. A warm smile graced your face as you realized it was Harvelle's Roadhouse--the very place you'd met Dean.

You turned back to Jack to thank him, but he'd disappeared. You murmured another thank you to him, knowing he would hear you. He was god, after all.

You walked the relatively short distance to the Roadhouse, stopping outside the door to take a deep breath. It might not have been all that long for Dean, but for you it had been 38 years.

You knew you were more than ready to see him, so you pulled the door open and stepped inside. It felt exactly like stepping into the past--like being embraced by a favorite memory.

**********

Dean's POV:

I heard the doors open, but I didn't think much of it. People were always coming and going from the Roadhouse. It was a popular establishment, even in heaven.

I didn't even think anything when I heard Ellen greeting someone happily. I was too engrossed in the old western show I was watching on the TV above the bar.

It wasn't until I heard Bobby say "(Y/N)" that I started to pay attention--the spell finally broken. I looked around, trying to figure out why he'd said her name, when I made eye contact with the most beautiful (y/e/c) eyes I'd ever seen. I would know those eyes anywhere.

I jumped out of my seat and took a few steps in her direction, whispering her name like I was afraid she would disappear if I said it too loud.

She smiled at me--a warm, loving expression I'd missed more than I could express. "Hi, Dean."

Hearing her voice pushed me into action. I moved towards her at the same time she moved towards me--meeting in the middle in an embrace I'd craved for longer than I'd care to admit.

Neither of us spoke, we didn't need to. Just feeling her in my arms again was better than any words she could have said.

She looked up at me, affection warming her features, and I couldn't help but stare. She was so beautiful it hurt--if I hadn't already been dead, I would have passed out from lack of oxygen. I couldn't breathe as I looked at her--hell, I didn't even want to blink.

She reached up and touched my face, and I leaned into her caress. I'd missed the feeling of her gentle hands and I reveled in the feeling now.

She gently tugged on my head, pulling me down towards her. She stood up on her toes so she could press her lips against mine in a kiss more passionate than any we'd ever shared.

**********

Seeing Dean for the first time in almost 40 years was a shocking experience. He was just as handsome as you remembered, perhaps even more so.

You knew just by the way he looked at you that his love hadn't diminished in any way--just as yours hadn't.

Your embrace was wonderful, but it wasn't until your lips met his that you really felt the powerful emotions coursing through you. You had no desire to ever stop kissing him and you had a feeling he felt the same way.

You poured all your love for him into the kiss, and you could feel how much he loved you in return. It was more passionate--more powerful--than any kiss you'd ever shared with him on earth. You weren't sure if it was a heaven thing or simply because you'd been apart for so long.

When you finally separated, he looked at you with adoring eyes, hands still holding you firmly against him. You had a feeling he was afraid to let you go--a sentiment you shared.

He seemed to remember there were lots of witnesses around, which only made him more protective of you.

"Do you wanna see where I live?" he whispered quietly.

"Of course."

He addressed the room without taking his eyes off you. "I'm sure we'd all love to catch up and reminisce, but it'll have to wait. My beautiful wife and I have some catching up of our own to do."

You heard some knowing chuckles, which neither of you acknowledged. Instead, you allowed him to lead you out of the building and onto a gently sloping trail.

At the end of the trail sat a lovely little house, complete with a white picket fence--the kind of storybook ending neither of you had gotten in life.

Dean led you into the house and you instantly fell in love with it. There was just something about it that felt like home. Perhaps it was the man standing beside you, a hopeful look on his handsome face.

"Do you like it?"

"It's perfect," you said honestly.

He seemed to relax again, a small smirk dancing on his lips. "Wanna see the bedroom?"

You grinned. "I'd love to."

He led you down the hall to the bedroom. To your surprise, the room looked identical to the bedroom you'd shared at the bunker. You didn't expect such a simple thing to make you so emotional, but you couldn't help the tears that sprang to your eyes.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

You nodded. "I just didn't realize how much I missed this room."

He smiled. "It's the only place that ever felt like home."

You shook your head. "Anywhere with you felt like home to me."

He turned to you suddenly, pressing his body against yours as he pulled you in for another heated kiss. His desire for you was evident in his actions and you had to admit, you wanted him just as badly.

"I'm glad you took your time," he admitted.

You pulled back, a little surprised at his words.

"Not because I didn't wanna be with you, baby. You know that," he reassured you. "I just wanted you to live a beautiful, full life."

You smiled warmly. "I did, Dean. I really did...but I never stopped missing you."

"I know," he admitted. "I was there for a lot of it."

"I always hoped you were."

He smiled at you again, before leaning down to place soft kisses to any piece of exposed skin he could.

"I have something I wanna try," he whispered against your skin.

"Mhmm?" you hummed softly.

"I wanna see if there's a limit to the number of times I can make you cum...it is heaven after all," he murmured huskily.

You gasped. "Dean!"

"Only if you want to..."

"Take me to bed, Mr. Winchester," you whispered. "I think we've both waited long enough."

"Anything for you, Mrs. Winchester...but don't rush me. Now it's my turn to take my time."

You giggled as he tossed you onto the bed, lips never far from each other's skin. You made love more times than either of you could count, trying to make up for all the lost time. Neither of you kept track of the number of times you fell apart in each other's arms...all that mattered was the love that still sparked between you, a love that even death could never diminish.

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fanfiction #dean Winchester fanfiction #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x reader smut #dean winchester x wife!reader #dean winchester x wife reader

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bloodynereid · 7 months

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Hi can I please request a Jordan x reader . Reader has power that glitch & saves Jordan. Reader hey I am lucky that I didn’t get stuck in between a wall.

Thank you.

Flying Grand Pianos - headcanons

pairing: jordan li x gn! reader

tw: cursing, mentions of uncontrolled powers, cate and sam went to prison (i'm sorry okay! they're my pookies but for this fic to work i had to do something), uh nothing much ig? unless u have a phobia of falling pianos... then maybe don't read this??

description: your powers come in handy in the weirdest situations.

a/n: hiii hopefully u enjoy this! i literally did not mean to make this as insane as it ended up being but hey i'm sick and running on like too little sleep, i hope it's still entertaining tho cause i had sm fun writing this lol. i tried to integrate everything you said into headcanons cause it felt more apt ? ig... anyways requests are open & lmk ur thoughts <3

It was your final year at God U, somehow you had actually made it through the insanity that happened during junior year. You had even come out of the whole situation with a whole new group of friends… even if Cate and Sam sort of had to be locked away because of all the shit they did.

Thank whoever had decided to call the FBI because you had no idea how the entire situation might have turned out if Homelander showed up instead.

So life had turned back to normal towards the end of junior year, mostly because Vought was able to keep most of the situation quiet. Now you were only a step away from becoming an actual superhero… which was a strange situation to think about.

Your powers weren’t all that noteworthy but were insanely useful in battle and to get out of awkward conversations… especially since you were able to mostly control them.

You had the ability to glitch, which essentially meant you could manipulate the fabric of reality around you and mess with it (always with a limit of course, you weren’t an all-powerful magician). You mostly used it for teleportation or to mess with people, something that was always sooo worth it.

You also were kind of insanely good at dealing with actual glitches in computers, which made absolutely no sense but it did help adding to your skill set for your major.

There was probably one specific time where your powers worked in your favor in the best way possible. Over the past few years you sort of developed a tiny little miniscule (HUGE) crush on Jordan Li and now that you were actually able to call them your friend that tiny little crush grew into something way bigger.

What you weren’t aware of was that Jordan felt the same way, they always viewed you as this pretty incredible supe but never really had the chance to talk to you… until the whole The Woods situation. After that it almost made it harder for them to just ask you out on your date… because you had created such a tentative but strong friendship - something that Jordan hadn’t had since Luke. Something that they weren’t sure they would be able to walk away from again.

It was a few months into your senior year when the incident happened. It wasn’t something crazy like Homelander suddenly massacring the school instead it was an incident that belonged in the halls of a supe school… one of the new freshmen had somehow conjured up a piano in the middle of the damn sky and was unable to make it disappear.

The one problem with this piano was that it was falling... and falling really fucking fast.

You had been drinking one of your favorite drinks from Jitter Bean when you were surprised (and very concerned) to see a piano making its way towards Jordan - a very distracted Jordan who was talking, or rather yelling into their phone.

It barely took you a second to make the decision before you dropped your drink and glitched in Jordan’s direction - thank whatever all powerful force was out there for actually having it work because a moment later you reappeared next to Jordan and grabbed their arm before glitching again.

Suddenly you were standing in your room and Jordan was looking at you like an insane person before a loud crash and a whole bunch of yelling was heard outside the window.

Jordan shot a confused look before darting over to the window, only to find that a huge grand piano now stood (well not really it was sort of everywhere) where they had just been standing a moment ago.

You shot them a sheepish smile as they turned around to look at you with a dropped jaw.

“I actually can’t believe that worked, I’m lucky I didn’t accidentally get us stuck between a wall.”

lol i have no idea what this is but i like it anyways.

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cobaltperun · 2 months

Text

Lost (21) - Let the Sun in

Tara Carpenter x female Reader

Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Tara’s friends, you were Tara’s fierce protector, the MMA fighter who’d take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea you’d have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didn’t matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldn’t be able to survive.

Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics

Word count: 3.1k

Story masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

-Help me darling, now I'm feeling so lost-

Tara twisted and turned in the bed of Danny’s guestroom. She couldn’t be alone, she couldn’t handle it anymore, she tried to after she was released from hospital, all the way back in 2021, and she ended up calling you to stay the night. Well, it wasn’t that she absolutely could not stay alone, she could, she stayed alone in your apartment while you were training for your final two fights, it was just that she couldn’t stay alone when she had no idea where you were. If you were on a business trip and Sam somehow couldn’t be with her, Tara would be fine. Because you were fine, and because she knew when you’d come back. Now she had no idea how you were of when you’d come out of prison, so she asked Danny to move in until you were released, just so she wouldn’t be alone. She trusted Danny, he saved your life, he loved Sam, he was patient with Sam and before everything fell apart, she was constantly trying to get Sam to take the next step in her relationship with him. She kept trying, but Sam was too afraid to do it.

It wasn’t that Sam was afraid that Danny would betray her, she was more afraid of taking that next step, of getting so used to him constantly being by her side like you were by Tara’s, and then losing him abruptly.

Trusting Danny and feeling safe were, however, two entirely different things and it had nothing to do with Danny. Tara couldn’t feel safe, not without you with her. She turned again, hugging the pillow, and pressing her face into your shirt. She took deep breaths, pretending the shirt she was wearing, and the one she placed over the pillow would trick her into thinking you were there, but it wasn’t working. The pillow was too soft, the scent mixing with her own and fading fast, and nothing she did could change that. She was cold, all alone for the first time in her life and the time was passing so slowly she thought she would go insane.

Because, as lonely as Tara often was, she was never all alone. Dad left, Sam was still there, and then you came along, and she was never alone after that. When you left to prepare for your final matches, Sam was there, and that was it. Now you were locked up and Tara couldn’t even hear your voice, and Sam was still missing.

Instinctively, her hand lowered to her stomach, to the child growing inside of her. “Mom will come back soon, okay? She’ll put her arms around us like she used to, don’t worry. Remember when we got the results? How gently she was holding us?” so, to pass time and hopefully lull herself to sleep she told your child the story yet again.

~X~

The two weeks waiting period was filled with nervous energy, at least for Tara. You on the other hand, you would just randomly drop to your knees and place your hand on Tara’s stomach, saying ‘hi’ to your child.

And right now, you were doing the same thing, crouching in front of Tara and gently gliding your fingers along her stomach and under her shirt as the two of you waited for the doctor to come back with the results. “Hey, Tiny, are you cozy in there?” you teased, making Tara jokingly smack your hand away. ‘Tiny’ was your nickname for your child, because you had no idea if it was a boy or a girl, and you wouldn’t know until the child was born, and so, you went with Tiny. Because it was a baby, so of course it was tiny… “Your mommy is mean, you know?” you grinned at Tara, but sat down next to her, pulling her into your side.

The two of you… calmed down a bit, at least as far as Tara sitting on your lap went. Now that was reserved for cuddling time, and maybe brief moments every now and then, and always in the privacy of your home and for the most part when no one else was around. And Tara guessed those times would become even less frequent when the child is born. So, instead of sitting on your lap, Tara would just lean on you, hugging you and enjoying how protectively you’d wrap and arm around her as well, just like you were doing now.

The doctor eventually came in, and from the look on her face Tara figured the news were great.

“Congratulations! It was a success, you are officially pregnant miss L/N!” the doctor told the two of you and Tara looked down. She was pregnant. She actually had a living being growing inside of her body. She looked at you, equally in disbelief in and elation, and saw the biggest grin on your face, even bigger than the one you had on your photo with Zack, even bigger than the one you had when the two of you got married, and you just pulled her onto your lap, not caring one bit about where you were. And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss the feeling of her back pressed against you.

“Y/N! We’re having a child!” she couldn’t stop her tears and she could feel something warm soaking the back of her shirt, right where your face was. She smiled widely when you wrapped your strong arms around her stomach, hugging her in a way that would prevent anything from touching her stomach without first going through you. Gentle and fiercely protective at the same time, you just kissed the back of her neck.

“We are, Love, we are,” you whispered, and when she looked into your eyes, she nearly choked at how much happiness and love and gratitude she saw in them.

~X~

The story, and her own arms protectively wrapped around your baby, eventually did lull her to sleep. Even if a few tears fell and soaked her pillow, even if her body still trembled slightly under all the blankets. She had to sleep, she had to for your child. She had to rest, eat well, and take care of herself to make sure your baby was healthy.

You would come back. You’d never leave her alone, you didn’t when you were in a coma, and you’d come back this time as well. To her and to your child. To your little family. “Y/N,” she mumbled in her sleep, reality warping as she reunited with you in her dreams.

She saw you, exactly the way you were that morning, you lifted her up, hugged her tightly as she breathed in your scent and wrapped her arms around you. She was no longer trembling, but she didn’t feel much warmer.

“This isn’t a dream, right? Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” she pleaded, having spent the past weeks dreaming this exact dream again and again.

“It’s not a dream, Tara,” you’d assure her, as you always did in her dreams, lying to her once again. And you let go of her, dropping to your knees to kiss her stomach. “Hey, Tiny,” you whispered.

“Please, Y/N,” this was a dream, she knew it when she tried to pull you up but you wouldn’t budge. “Y/N,” she tried to say your name again, but somehow her voice kept failing her. It was just another dream.

“I’m sorry, Tara,” your voice grew distant, and she could swear she was feeling you disappearing from her hold. Even in her dream she was left alone to sob as she hugged her stomach.

~X~

Zoom calls weren’t something Chad was used to, but here he was, on one because that was the only way this meeting could have happened. He was in his apartment in Miami, he was happy, his career was taking off, but he felt lonely, separated from his twin and all his friends. He looked around the apartment while waiting for others to join in, at the moment it was just him and Kirby who hosted the meeting. The apartment was filled with all the things that reminded him of home, the framed photos of his family and friends and now his team. He had to do some cleaning, his place was getting a bit messy, nothing too bad, but there was some dust lying around and he still needed to do the dishes from this morning.

“Looking a bit lost there,” he heard Mindy’s teasing voice and turned to his laptop. Mindy and Anika just joined the call.

“Just wondering when you were finally going to grace us with your presence,” he teased back. Despite the situation he smiled when he saw Mindy, Anika, and Kirby’s faces on the screen. They were just waiting for Tara and Danny to join in and soon enough, Danny’s face popped up as well. He looked exhausted, and Chad couldn’t blame him.

“Tara is still sleeping, I figured it was better to let her rest,” he told them before they could ask about Tara.

Chad nodded. If this could be solved without Tara getting involved, then that’s how it should be done, after all, not only was Tara pregnant, but from what Kirby told them earlier… all of this might be too much for her.

“That’s for the better. I really wasn’t sure how to tell her all of this,” Kirby sighed, just as relieved as Chad. Kirby’s table was filled with papers, and Chad guessed they were all the piles of evidence she had at this point. Was he really back? Ghostface? He wished he could deny it, but he couldn’t. It was happening again.

“I don’t think hiding anything from her is smart, even if she is pregnant,” Mindy argued.

“She will find out eventually,” Anika agreed and while Chad understood the logic behind it, he still wanted to keep Tara safe for at least a bit longer. She was his oldest friend, and while he grew close to you as well, especially over training, Tara was his best friend. And… well, he had a bit of a crush on her for a while, back when they were still in high school, before he even met Liv, but she was off limits and so in love with you there wasn’t even a point in trying. So, he waited until those feelings faded away, unlike Wes who did try to ask her on a date.

Chad sighed, things were much simpler back then, and their only concerns were homework and school being school.

“That’s the problem for another day. First things first, you three are out of this. Don’t come to New York, don’t get involved, just hide and wait it out,” Kirby began, clearly talking to Chad, Mindy and Anika. “Danny, I’d like to exclude you as well, but,” she trailed off.

“I’m already here and I promised Sam I’d protect Tara,” Danny finished for her, and Kirby nodded.

That’s roughly how long it took Chad to fully register what Kirby told him to do. “Now wait just a second, what do you mean don’t come to New York? Tara is our friend, and so are Sam and Y/N, we’re not about to leave them to face these lunatics alone,” he already booked a flight, he would go there and make sure Tara was fine until you were released, and Sam came back. Since there was nothing he could do for you or Sam, this was the best thing to do for everyone involved, protect the most important person to you two.

“Chad’s right. If you are sure this is Ghostface again, Tara will need us,” Mindy agreed with him, and he could see Anika nodding next to her.

“I owe her for saving my life, and the same goes for Sam and Y/N,” Anika added.

“The point is, we’re not leaving Tara alone,” Chad finished. What was Kirby even thinking? Trying to get them to just abandon Tara in this situation?

Danny remained silent, but Kirby frowned. “Are the three of you really that naïve? Chad, what happened to Y/N when she went after Ghostface? She was forced to retire, come back to New York looking for a fight and say goodbye to your career,” that shut him up. “Mindy, Anika, you two are in the same boat, you’re just starting out and are already gaining fame and recognition, this is just what someone is waiting for to use against you. Gale was an exception, not the rule. A reporter in a much different time without social media and so much attention on your private lives. Not to mention she could argue she was just doing her job and got in danger for that. You three are adults now, not teenagers caught up in some mess. Come here and everyone will think you’re looking for trouble,” she got to the point, not sparing their feeling even for a bit.

Chad looked down, deep down he understood Kirby was right, to an extent, but it still felt wrong to just leave Tara alone. He clenched his fists and looked down, they were Core Five, they went through so much together. “It’s not fair,” he whispered, missing the way Kirby’s eyes softened for a moment.

“Tara wouldn’t want you to be in danger, and Danny, you especially need to pay attention to what I’m about to say,” Kirby continued and shared her screen, it was a footage from some camera at a location Chad didn’t recognize, but upon Kirby zooming he saw it was someone wearing Ghostface costume with dog painted on the left side of the mask.

“What’s with the change?” Mindy asked, confused by the painted dog.

Kirby sighed. “We’ve identified several different masks, dog, bear, fish, bull, monkey, rhino, and we believe there are more. Several years ago, before Richie and Amber even met, there were rumors of a Ghostface cult emerging, most people didn’t take it seriously, but I did and I’ve been digging around, they’ve existed for almost a decade now, but had insufficient fundings. That, somehow changed a bit less than a year ago and now they are on the loose,” Kirby’s words made Chad’s blood run cold.

“And you want us to leave Tara to deal with all of them with just Danny by her side?!” Mindy slammed her fist against the table before Chad could do the same.

“Yes! Because this cult being active is the least of her troubles, take a good look at this Ghostface,” Kirby zoomed in once again on the figure. “I believe this is Sam, her figure, the brutality of the attacks connected to this Ghostface, the latest victim, it all implies Sam is involved.”

They all remained completely silent, just taking the information in. Kirby had to be wrong. Sam would never become a Ghostface! Sure, she was getting more unstable lately, almost frighteningly so, but to put on the mask? Granted, Tara did say she put the mask on to kill Bailey, but this was entirely different. She wouldn’t do this to Tara! She wouldn’t be involved with you getting arrested, right? Not when you were Tara’s greatest protection, or when Tara was at her most vulnerable.

Kirby just kept adding more and more bad news. “And here’s another thing. Y/N isn’t in jail. She was arrested, was meant to be transferred and during that drive she just vanished. The police was instructed to keep silent to save face, but she disappeared and no one knows how or where it happened,” it felt like each word Kirby was saying only made things worse and worse.

They all just stared at Kirby’s screen, at the photo of Ghostface Kirby thought was Sam, and at the official report saying you were missing. Chad glanced at Mindy’s screen and saw her holding onto Anika while Anika covered her mouth with her hands, horrified by this new information. Danny looked pale, as if just now realizing how bad things actually were and Chad wasn’t feeling much better. He felt sick, and he couldn’t do anything to help Tara.

And then the worst-case scenario happened.

“What did you say?” they all heard Tara’s voice.

~X~

“A hero always needs a villain, a twisted mirror, a broken counterpart, someone formidable, someone who can prove that the hero isn’t untouchable! But a hero is more than that! A hero is a symbol! Hero has no face, only a mask, so the legacy can be continued, so that someone else can continue where the previous hero had to stop!” thirteen masks hung from the walls, one for each hero, all of them taken down by the villains.

“What makes Sidney Prescott better than Billy Loomis?! Or Samantha Carpenter better than Richie Kirsch?! Both were made by their victims, villains rising to fame for killing them!” the latest Ghostface exclaimed, his arms spread, blood-soaked knives in each hand. “Not us though! We will show them what a team of heroes can do! We will do what those before us couldn’t! We will fight fire with fire!”

When he finished, the candle shaped lights lit up, revealing a room filled with people wearing Ghostface masks. Including their leader there were twelve of them and they had killed their latest victim. Christina Carpenter’s blood dripped from the table, she paid for her mistake of giving birth to villainous half-sisters.

“Is the fighter still locked up?” the leader asked, coming down from his high

“Yes. She is still the only suspect for her father’s murder,” one of the Ghostfaces, one with a dog painted on the side of the mask, spoke and the leader nodded.

“We need a proper counter for her, only then can we execute her. Ghost-Bear, how is project Ghost-Bird coming along?” the leader demanded.

A Ghostface with bear painted on the mask stood up. “I have found a way to get her to come to the country,” his accent proved he wasn’t originally from the States.

“Good, I entrust that part to you,” the leader nodded.

This was the power of a hero, and this was their right, to worship and follow in the footsteps of their heroes, until the villains were all eradicated, starting with Samantha Carpenter’s sister. That would lure the villain to them instead of going through the troubles of finding her. He wouldn’t speak of that just yet though. First, Ghost-Bird, and then Ghost-Bear would be tasked with bringing Tara L/N in and keeping her locked up until they were ready.

#tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #scream #jenna ortega x reader #x reader

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imagine-that-100 · 2 years

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Chicken Shop Date

By @imagine-that-100 and @alovesreading

Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.

Word Count: 18.3k

A/N: Okay so, Matty’s chicken shop date really had me and @alovesreading spiralling so we decided to make an even better version of the date. This will more than likely be 2 parts and the second part will be posted on A’s account so make sure you’re all following. We wrote this in like 53 hours and we’re super proud of it. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do, and we can’t wait to see what you think. Enjoy and thanks for reading x

| N’s Masterlist | A’s Masterlist |

Going on chicken shop dates with your favourite celebrities at one point in your life seemed like something entirely plucked from yours and your best friend’s imaginations. You guess that is all it was at one point, but you never for a second imagined it would become your job.

It’s a stupid, fun idea that you and your best friend Amelia ran with and now you’ve gone on ‘dates’ with some of the biggest stars on the planet. It was beyond your wildest dreams and it’s opened up so many opportunities for the both of you that somehow, you’re now both invited to big events that these stars also attend.

You and Amelia were both at the NME awards earlier this year, surrounded by musical legends that the both of you knew you needed to try and ask on your ‘dates’. The amount of award shows the both of you were asked to host their red-carpet shows were also insane to the both of you.

The imposter syndrome really kicks in for the both of you when you’re at these events but you both remind yourselves to use your fake confidence that you use on your ‘dates’ and it somehow gets you through. But you wouldn’t ever take for granted the opportunities the both of you were getting now.

Both of your calendars were full with work that you never imagined possible for either of you. And you’d been on dates with people like Finneas, Yungblud, KSI, and a bunch of other cool celebrities. Amelia had some good ones along the way too, and it’s been quite funny sometimes when you would argue amongst yourself of who would get the date.

Quite early on in your and Amelia’s chicken shop dates, both of you decided that you would go on separate dates with the celebrities that agreed to them. A way to keep each episode fresh with similar but ultimately different personalities as the both of you awkwardly flirt your way into getting celebrities to lower their guard and play off you.

Both of you were so happy when it worked, and you thought it would just be a fun side project for the both of you. But the guests kept getting bigger and bigger and you were able to quit your shit job because now you were earning a very comfortable living and you have so many opportunities that years ago you could only have dreamt of.

It was at the NME awards back in February that your date today was arranged. Both you and Amelia saw that event as a way you could ask people to come on your show. And whilst you were tasked with trying to make a drunk Sam Fender agree to come on the show, Amelia went straight for Matty Healy because she knew you wouldn’t have the balls to do it.

Amelia was the one person who knew just how much you enjoyed the 1975’s music and how much you have done for years. Subsequently, she liked their music too because you used to never stop playing it, but she was definitely a lot more chill about them than you.

That night at the NME awards was something Amelia truly believed she’d never forget though. When you’d gone off to talk to Sam, she went and introduced herself to Matty before sitting at his table.

It really took her no time at all to get Matty to agree to a chicken shop date as he already knew about the show and how it usually goes down. Matty agreed on the spot and he told her that they were going to release their new album sometime in October so it would have to be close to then for promo reasons.

Of course, Amelia was used to this as album promo was the reason why she’d got dates with other music artists in the past, so it made sense. And Amelia would do anything to make it work because she wanted you to have this experience of going on one of your dates with someone you actually fancy.

But what made your best friend really have to hold her grin back was when Matty asked, “Is it going to be you or Y/N doing it?”

Amelia is about to say that he can choose if he wants to but that it’ll more than likely be you doing it. But Matty answers his own question and asks again, “No offence to you, but can Y/N do it?”

“Course, I’ll be in touch.” Ameila tells him before wishing him a good night and going back to her table to get herself another drink.

By the end of that night, you both made the rounds and came back with a nice long list of people that had agreed to go on dates with you both. But considering Amelia went home with Aitch that night, she didn’t tell you about securing the date with Matty straight away.

And even when she did and you had a small, tiny meltdown over it, she kept to herself that Matty asked for the date to be with you. You just assumed that she was letting you have this date because you’ve loved the band for the longest time and she’ll let you carry on thinking that, for now. She doesn’t plan on telling you that Matty asked for you personally until after you date.

When the enquiry officially came through for the chicken shop date, Matty was quite excited about it going in his calendar. In his free time, Matty had seen a few of both of your dates.

Of course, he’d seen the ones that truly gave the both of you, your now viral audience. The Louis Theroux one got the rap going viral, so that lifted your platform up even more. Not to mention the ones where Amelia went on dates with Jack Harlow and Aitch, because she lost her composure and didn’t fully maintain her cool, unbothered character.

But in the UK the two of you definitely became well known when Amelia and Aitch started their little romance that had all stemmed from their date. Matty planned on asking what actually happened when he had his own chicken shop encounter though. But he had to admit, he was glad that it was confirmed that he would be going on his own chicken shop date with you.

It may be superficial of him to admit, but he finds you more attractive than Amelia. You really are a gorgeous girl in Matty’s eyes, and he thinks going on a date with someone he actually somewhat finds attractive will be a win for both of you. From the episodes of the show he’d seen, he thinks that you are also funnier, and he has no doubt that he’ll be able to play off you well when he’s in the hot seat on the other side of the table from you.

He met you earlier on that night at the NME Awards, before Amelia had collared him for a date, and you were even prettier in person than you were on camera. Funnier too when you weren’t in character. You told him that night that you really appreciated his music and he told you that he liked the show, but your encounter was cut short because his girlfriend came on stage to perform so he had to go and watch her.

You didn’t see each other for the rest of that night, but he was glad when Amelia came over and asked if he’d be up for a date. Initially, he thought it was a bit of a weird thing for him to agree to when he’s literally attending an event that his girlfriend is also here for, but he was really proud of his new album and wasn’t going to pass on some promo for it.

Matty would say he certainly relaxed about the date a little more when he realised it was coming up and he was freshly single. Whilst he was still a little down in the dumps about yet another failed relationship, he was excited to actually play off you on this date properly. He could freely flirt without any guilt to come with it and he was excited for it.

And today’s date seemed to creep up on the both of you all at once.

Standing outside the chosen Chicken Inn this time has you unable to stay still. After doing this for so long, the nerves were something you were used to, and you had been able to learn to keep under control but knowing that Matty was the one who would walk in at any moment was making you feel like it was your first ever date.

Usually for your dates, both you and Amelia researched your guests to get the best out of the jokes you’d make. However, you’ve known everything there is to know about The 1975 since you were 19 years old, you did absolutely no research at all for this. All you did was prep funny little gags you could make, in hopes to make the episode funny. But that hasn’t stopped your nerves at all.

You glance at Amelia, a slight hint of panic in your eyes that she didn’t miss. She blows you a kiss and gives you a tight lip smile that has you thanking everything for being able to do this with your best mate.

But that relief only lasts a few seconds as you all hear the heavy door being pushed open and you see the musician walk in as he closes his umbrella with Jamie, his manager, walking closely behind him.

Amelia and the crew are quick to greet them with “Hello!” and smiles, but the words die in your mouth.

You watch the two guests waving at everyone, to then hug Amelia and when it’s your turn to greet them, you slowly rise up from your seat.

Jamie goes first so you smile as you accept his handshake. Handshakes you could do, is what you think but when it’s Matty’s turn you feel yourself getting nervous again as he looks you up and down with a smirk before hugging you.

You were wearing heels which made you a few inches taller than him, so he decides to wrap his arms around your waist and rub your back whilst you hug him over the shoulders.

It was a surreal moment for you, to say the least, and it all gets even harder to believe when Matty says, “You look amazing Y/N.” in your ear.

You find yourself looking at Amelia for he had said that loud enough for everyone to hear and when your eyes fall on her, you see her smirking at you. You had a cheetah print top on, red leather pants and a red bandana tied around your wrist. It had been an idea you and Amelia had to dress up like the girl in the Robbers music video just for the laughs, and you had expected a joke about it not a compliment. However, you’re not even sure if it’s just a compliment or if he’s clicked that you’re dressed like this on purpose.

When you let go of each other, you look down at him and smile, “Thank you, so do you.” And it’s maybe the whole situation that has you clouding your better judgement because your hand goes to pet Matty on top of his head and he rolls his eyes.

That only makes you laugh though, his smile creeping through as he tries to act annoyed at you only making your cheeks feel warm.

You signal him to sit in the chair across from you and he obliges, handing his umbrella to Jamie and sighs when he looks up at you.

“So, the chicken shop date…” Matty trails off, adjusting his tie and then brushing his hair back with his right hand. A small strand of it falling on his forehead making you bite the inside of his cheek to not smile as big as you want to.

You nod, “The chicken shop date, exactly. Are you ready?”

Someone from the crew places your chicken boxes in front of you two, and he watches as you give them a sweet smile and thank them. It was interesting seeing you not being blunt and awkward like in the videos.

Usually, you tend to encourage your guests to start eating before the camera’s start officially rolling just to get them comfortable. And you do the same now with Matty, he’d already told you that chicken nuggets and chips, like what you eat on your various dates was fine, so you both start slowly scranning on that as you prepare him for how the interview usually plays out.

Briefly you go over what he already knows, that you’re not meaning to be rude about anything when you put your character on. It’s not that you’re not interested or not impressed by what he’s saying, it's just the unbothered, chill character you put on. And once Matty seems settled enough with you, you give the nod to your crew and get things going.

But what shocks Matty is when the director tells you they’re rolling, it's like a flip is switched. You stare down at him with a challenging expression, like you’re trying to get him to break and say something.

Only he stares back at you, trying to have you break first, but you won’t give him that. So, you lean to your side and pull out a bottle of Volvic strawberry flavoured water.

Placing it on the table, you see a massive grin break on his face as he reaches for it. You have to try and not beam at him yourself.

“Do you- Do you know about that bit? Is this an in-joke?” Matty asks, managing to keep his chill composure back.

You frown, “Is it- The what?” instead of smiling like you desperately want to.

“That I like this?” He plays with the bottle, glancing from it to you and back.

You shrug, acting all proud of yourself for the reaction you got from him. “I know.”

Matty giggles, “How’d you know that?”

Your smile manages to break through a little and you look from him to the camera to make it seem more awkward. “I just know you like that. I know your likes, your dislikes…”

“It’s like Nardwuar.” He states, clearly amazed, really thinking about how you and Amelia managed to find this out. Maybe you had reached out to one of the lads, that had to be it.

After opening your can of Tango, you bring up your can so he can clink it with his bottle, “Cheers.”

Matty does, saying, “Cheers,” as well and when you take a sip of your beverage keeping your eyes on him, you’re baffled at how this was all happening.

“You know you were late, right?” You point out after you feel like you’ve had enough of your drink.

He frowns, “No I wasn’t.”

You raise your eyebrows, unimpressed and call him out further. “That’s rude. You don’t do that on the first date.”

“I was like five minutes over time.” Matty looks at everyone behind the cameras and then back at you, as if he was trying to make sure people would back him.

You pick at your chips, fighting back. “More like quarter past.”

“It was Jamie’s fault.” Matty settles for saying, like that would make it look better.

“Why are you trying to blame someone else, I know it was your own fault.” You make a show of staring at his hair, trying to silently tell him you knew his hair took him a long while to perfect like he wanted to.

“There was traffic.” He uses it as a second excuse but you’re not having it.

“You live like ten minutes away.” You out him, “You must have set off at the time you were meant to arrive if that was the case.”

Matty asks a little worriedly, “How do you know that?”

Instead of answering, you out him like you want to, “So, how long did it take you to get ready for this date?”

Matty fully ignores your intentions to make him admit he took long to get ready and calmly switches the direction of the inquiry. “I'd like to say that I kinda dressed for the occasion but this is kinda how I dress.”

“How you dress, or how your stylist dresses you?” You use a chip to point at him.

“Isn't that the same?” At this point, Patricia and him were always talking about fashion and clothes so she didn’t even need to dress him for these types of press events, he could do it himself and know it was good and she would approve.

“It looks like you're going to a funeral.” you state with a blank face to tease him but he gives you nothing.

“Maybe I am.” Matty swiftly plays along.

So you try a different approach to have him show some emotion. “Speaking of funerals… You’re old.”

That gets him instantly, his frown so deep it almost makes you burst out laughing. “No, I’m not.”

“You are, like very old.” You insist, slowly nodding your head.

Matty sighs, “No, I am not. I was born in 198–”

But you talk over him to continue with your gag, “So you were born in 1975.”

“No.” He plainly responds, with an exasperated look on his face.

You proceed to add more to it, “You know Liz Truss was born in 1975, and DJ Khalid so you're in good company.” The slight shrug of your shoulders has him slowly turning to everyone around you two.

“I was born in the 80s.” Matty feels the need to remind everyone in the room, looking at them all and not you.

So you keep pushing it, “Yeah you were born in the 80s, keep telling yourself.” You pout at him when he turns back around to face you.

His voice raises in volume just a notch, “I was born in the 80s. I was born in 1989 and I'm still young and relevant.”

There’s a few beats of silence when you’re just staring at him with a straight face. Then you just let out a tiny sigh and say, “Sure.”

Matty has to bite his tongue. You played it so well, and the way you could so easily get on his nerves like that was making him look at you more intently. It's much more different seeing you act like this in a video than having you doing it in front of him.

He's loving every second and the date has only just started.

“You have new music coming soon.” You decide to open the conversation back up with a topic that actually really interests you but you have to take it into a different direction.

“I do.” Matty nods, flicking the salt from the chips off his fingers.

You wait to swallow the bite of chicken you had in your mouth to continue with your teasing, this time hiding it behind showing interest on his upcoming album. “So ‘Being funny in a foreign language’, is that right?”

Matty only nods, eating some of his nuggets so you continue with your bit. “Can you be funny in a foreign language?”

He rolls his eyes, swallowing his food to clear things up for you. “It’s not meant literally. It came from–”

You don’t even allow him to explain, you just plainly interrupt him. “I can be funny in a foreign language.”

He unscrews his bottle and raises an eyebrow at you. “What? Like tell a joke?”

You don’t even tell him yes, you just start speaking Spanish. And you know it’s not a joke what you’re gonna tell him but he wouldn’t know. “¿Sabes que me gustaría hacer?” (Do you wanna know what I would like to do?)

“What?” Matty asks blissfully unaware that he was answering your question.

“Me encantaría quitarte ese traje en este momento.” (I would love to take that suit off right now.) You smirk at him, biting on a chip and trying not to laugh at his naive excited expression because he had no idea what you had just said.

Amelia cackles, making Matty giggle in front of you. You feel his soft kick on your feet to encourage you to tell him, “What was that then?”

You sit up straighter, staying smug at how you just very honestly flirted with him and he doesn’t have a clue. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would.” Matty nods eagerly, and his face softens in an attempt to push you to come clean. As if his puppy eyes would break you, and they could but you had to commit to your job.

You pout in fake pity then, “It’s a shame we don’t always get what we want.”

He turns it on you, “You got me on a date with you, haven’t you?”

And you play along as sarcastically as you can, “Oh yeah, ‘cause I’m so in love with you.”

Matty laughs at that, you’re really good at staying in character. “Am I even your type?” He teases, trying to get more hints from you.

“You’re here so you have to be.” You state quite simply, and he sees the honesty in your eyes. “I’m quite picky actually.”

Something inside of him sparked but he tries to continue to play it cool. “See, I didn’t think I’d be your type.” Because Matty truly didn’t think he would be, if he only knew you were having cold sweats from being sat in front of him.

“Well, you are when you have the curls out. Not that much right now.” You eye him up and down, keeping a straight face. He looks so incredibly good though, it’d be a lie that you weren’t finding him fit as fuck at the moment. But it wasn’t a lie that his curls had always made you feel some type of way.

Matty scoffs, “You don’t like the gel?”

You contort your face to exaggerate your fake disagreement. “No, you’re not 2013 Alex Turner. I prefer the curls.”

He frowns deeply, “2013 Alex Turner?”

“Yeah, you know with the whole greaser slick back hair,” You mimic combing back your hair like Danny Zuko would in Grease and when Matty shakes his head you sigh defeatedly. “Not important. The real question is do you have a type?”

He takes a small pause, “Erm, well, I’m straight.”

“Yawn.” You reply quickly and roll your eyes.

Matty hunches a little bit and narrows his eyes at you, “You’re not?”

“No, I'm not boring like you... Anyway, so, you're straight?” You turn it back around to him, in any other setting he would try and get more out of you but glancing up and seeing the camera had him get back in character and continue talking about himself.

Matty remembers the never-ending conversation that is all over social media so he frowns annoyed, “Yeah, that's been up for debate.”

“Has it?” You frown, knowing full well it has because you’ve definitely questioned his sexuality privately before now, but you play dumb and uninterested.

“Yeah, well for a little bit, on Twitter and stuff. Just wanna say that.” He waves his hand around dismissing the relevance of said debate.

You smile then at the very lame play of words that come up to your mind, “You’re setting the record straight.”

“I’m setting the record straight.” Matty repeats, stealing a glance at the camera before looking back at you, “So, girls.”

“So just any kind of girl?” You ask for clarification, knowing you’d get something funny out of him.

He stutters for a bit until he finds his words, “But I do like hot women, hot girls.”

“Yeah,” You shake your head like you're unimpressed but equally you agree, “I know you like hot girls, yeah.”

“That's alright.” Matty adds calmly, not seeing anything inherently wrong with admitting that.

You give him an up and down, and then tilt your head slightly to the side as in disapproval, “Quite predictable, I think.”

“You know, you’ve gotta enjoy your life.” Matty goes for a chip as he stands his ground, and you look very closely at his every move.

“Yeah I know, I like hot girls too.” You agree entirely, but you grimace when you ask, “But what about funny, what about interesting?”

The chip he puts in his mouth is sticking out the side of it while he agrees with the point you’re trying to make, “Oh yeah, funny and interesting is cool.”

“Yeah, yeah but hot is better?” You watch him nod as he fully eats the chip.

His nods don’t stop, “Hot is definitely the most important thing.”

You avert your eyes then, feeling yourself about to break character. It’s getting to you how bizarre this whole situation is and how your job is to flirt with the man you’ve fancied for almost a decade. What is your life?

You half heartedly smile, sounding offended and uninterested as you say, “Okay, that's great.”

“Listen, you're gorgeous.” He states quickly, staring at you while he brings the bottle up to his lips.

You very quickly interject, “But am I hot?”

“Yeah, you’re hot,” Matty’s quick answer almost makes you lose your cool but you somehow maintain it. Matty’s about to take a drink when he continues, “But I'm going on tour for a very long time.”

“What, so you're not available?” You ask, like it’s an inconvenience to you.

“Like I said before,” Your date reminds you, “I didn't think I would be your type.”

You sigh like you’re already tired of reminding him he is definitely your type, “You’re literally on the other side of the table on a date with me, Matty.”

His eyebrows raise and the corners of his lips fall as he nods, “I did agree to it.”

You smile at him then, a soft one that has all of his attention drawn on you. “And if you stop gelling your hair I'll agree to see you when you get back from tour or, you know, I could come along and be your… Groupie.”

He holds back his laughter, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he does so and you can’t ignore the way your tummy flutters at the sight so your lips slightly raise in a smile. “For a second, I genuinely felt a flirt before you did that bit.”

“What no.” You half smile and your composure breaks seconds after he does.

Matty nods, a smile on his lips, “That was actually a thing.”

“No I was,” You try to come back from it but you’re slightly too flustered, “Was good.”

You desperately want to smile at his smile. But thankfully you muster up enough to make your face blank again even though the man across the table for you is making it hard.

“I get it now,” Matty leans back in his seat and smiles, “So you actually do flirt with people.”

“Yeah, I'm like a really good flirter. That's one of my special… Skills that I can do…” And you don’t know why you say it because you know you’ll embarrass yourself, but you can’t stop yourself from adding, “Amongst other things.”

“Other things?” Matty grins at that, and raises his eyebrows, clearly interested as he asks, “Like what?”

You take a deep breath to stop the smile that's pulling on the corner of your lips, but to give an answer but also not give an answer, you push your tongue to your cheek and tilt your head to the side a bit.

Matty smirks at that and gives you knowing eyes. But thankfully he doesn’t tease you more because he just crosses his arms and leans forward to rest them on the table before asking you, “Did Amelia actually go out with Aitch?”

And you lose all composure and burst out laughing after a few silent seconds of staring at his cute grin.

Making you lose yourself has Matty’s grin getting even bigger. Regardless of him knowing that this would be a part you cut from the final edit of the date, he had broken your character for the briefest of moments and it was joyous for him to see.

He endeavours to do it again before your date is over.

“We can talk about that later.” You promise him, as you get your cool again.

Matty watches as you slip back into your character and your shoulders relax as you pick up another one of your chips to continue the date. He’s impressed by the ease in which you switch back and how you could just pick up where you left off like nothing had happened.

Getting back to your food, you ask him before having another chip, “What do you think is like your least attractive trait that you have?”

It surprises you just how quickly Matty replies, “Probably my personality?”

But you have to hide it, agreeing with him like it was the most factual statement he’d ever said, “Mmm yeah.”

“Yeah.” He agrees along with you.

“Speaking of your big personality…” You lead on to the next gag you want to make, because there’s no way you’re doing a purposefully awkward interview and not bringing up the fact he’s still not done something.

You continue to tell him, “We saw you at Reading. Amelia and I.”

He hums and takes a gulp of his drink, “Did you like the set?”

You force yourself to act like you hadn’t screamed every lyric of his from the very start until they left the stage. “It was alright.” You shrug, looking down to grab another chip, “You didn’t play my favourite.”

“Which is?” Matty was intrigued now, he would’ve guessed he had definitely played everyone’s favourites that night.

“Antichrist.” Your eyes don’t leave him so you see the way his face falls.

His eye roll and groan was automatic, “Oh for fucks sake.” he swears under his breath.

You also add another controversial moment that you remember the press had gone wild over, “And Amelia didn’t like the spit on the camera.”

Matty catches onto the mention of only your best mate to tease you, “Only Amelia didn’t like it?” And when you nod, he smirks, “So you enjoyed it?”

You shrug with a blank expression on, giving absolutely nothing away, “Maybe.”

And before Matty can say anything during this now hilariously funny awkward silence that you’re trying not to smile at, you move the subject quickly on.

You take a breath before you say, “You’ve tweeted about doing a podcast.”

“Yeah.” Matty confirms.

But without missing a beat, you plead, “And I was gonna say, like, please don't.”

“Yeah, no, it’s probably good advice.” Matty says after a little giggle.

“You’d just make it all about yourself and we just don’t need that. Society would be good without… more.” Your hand awkwardly moves in the air as you try to point at him.

Matty fully ignores the insult so he can flirt again, liking the way you were forcing your smile back just a minute ago. “I reckon you’d make a great podcast.”

A smile breaks out on your face, and your hand comes up to your chest as you reply, “Oh, why, thank you.”

Nodding, he continues to reassure. “You have a nice voice. You could actually have me paying attention to any topic you’d talk about.”

“Even if it’s just Kardashian gossip?” You try to keep it funny, ignoring the way his comments are making you feel.

His eyes don’t leave yours when he says, “If it’s you talking then I’d have it on constantly.”

You really hope you aren’t visibly flustered because that comment has certainly made you feel some type of way that you have to push every thought relating to it to the back of your mind. “Are you saying you want to hear my voice on a daily basis?”

“I wouldn’t hate it.” Matty shrugs with a smirk.

You have to subtly bite your bottom lip to keep your expression collected. “I’ll talk to my agent, we can arrange that.”

But Matty glances down at your lips when you do it and you catch him as he didn't meet your gaze until after you finished that sentence. Your heart skips a beat, he’s making you want to ask for a break.

So you raise an eyebrow at him, a silent questioning for his actions but Matty only keeps his smirk on his face which has you sighing and reaching out for a sip of your drink.

To get the conversation flowing again, you take from what he’d just said about paying attention and ask him, “What were you like in school? I can imagine you were a loud one.”

Matty chuckles and nods to confirm that one. But then he sighs as he starts giving you the details of a young Matty Healy, “I didn't really concentrate at high school cause I saw it in the way of, kind of, getting in the way of my… Visionary genius.”

“You've always been a genius, would you say?” You ask, eyebrows raised, fully playing along like you believe him.

“I wouldn't call myself a genius, I-”

Interrupting, you point out, “You just did.”

“Well, I described my… So yeah, I've always been a genius.” Matty concedes and lets the joke roll which has you unapologetically smiling at him.

“But, so school was annoying.” Matty raises his eyebrows when he asks you, “Imagine being a genius and having to go to school?”

Shake your head slightly, blankly stating but with the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips, you tell him, “I wouldn't have to imagine.”

There’s another few seconds that pass where you can tell just by the way your date is looking at you that he’s finding what you do impressive. And you can almost see the cogs working together in his brain so he can piece by piece get where he wants to lead this next.

But you’d never have imagined that he would come out and say, “I do genuinely find you quite attractive, to break the fourth wall.”

At this you really try to hold your smile, because hearing that is your teenage fantasy come true almost ten years later. You swear your heart starts beating faster and your stomach feels like it’s doing somersaults.

You can quite literally feel yourself screaming on the inside, not to mention Amelia’s eyes burning into the side of your head. Best friend telepathy is real as you’re sure you can feel her screaming at you inside her mind.

“It's a weird concept…” Matty looks from you to the crew and Amelia before back to you, “This is quite meta, this is kinda like high art.”

You smile and nod like he’s cracked an enigma, telling him plainly before taking a bite of a nugget, “Dating me is an art.”

Matty chuckles, “I’m sure it is.”

“So if you find me attractive,” You lean forwards a bit before you quote his song at him in an awful attempt to flirt like your character would, “How about we go, where nobody knows?”

“Oh wow,” Matty rolls his eyes, clearly understanding the reference but he’s far from impressed by it. Regardless though, he leans forwards as he plays along and sarcastically asks, “Shall I hide a gun under my petticoat?”

“Will it be a gun or will you just be pleased to see me?” You ask with a suggestive eyebrow raise before you eat the last bit of your chicken nugget.

Matty once again stares you down and as you chew your food you do exactly the same back to him. You’re not giving up after that great line and you can tell he’s dying to laugh. As are you really, but that’s just because he played right into your hands. You have this man right where you want him and he knows it.

However, you change up the game very quickly when you break eye contact to look down to grab another chip. When you meet those brown eyes of his again, you take a bite of your chip and state, “You're an Aries.”

All amusement falls from his face then and he visibly deflates, closes his eyes and sighs, “Oh god.”

“What? So are you not into astrology?” You ask like you can’t believe such a thing, but you knew this man so well, it was painfully obvious he hated it.

Matty looks at you with a face that’s begging you to be taking the piss. “Are you?”

“How do you know your big three then?” You remember that time he tweeted about his sun and moon sign.

So he rests his elbows on the table and leans on his hands to take a closer look at you. He’s smugly smirking as he asks, “You’ve been keeping up with my tweets?”

You don’t know how but you manage to stay still, hiding the fact that the new distance between you wasn’t making your heart rate rise. “They show up on my timeline from time to time.”

“I bet you have my notifications on.” Matty plainly states, a grin on his face.

You frown lightly, bringing back your teasing around. “You write some mad things there though.”

“Well that’s me, isn’t it? The same thing happens in my songs.” He shrugs as he pushes himself back to sit straight.

You hum, feeling calmer at the increase of distance. You ask like you don’t know each of his songs word for word, “Right… What’s that one about bursting into someone’s hand?”

“Part of the band.”

You snap your fingers and point at him, “That’s the one.” You bring in a joke then, to alleviate the tension you were feeling. ”You know, I prefer oat milk.”

It took everything in you to hold back the joke you actually wanted to make, about how he could burst into your hand anytime he wanted. That would have been one step too far considering you’ve only met him twice.

It takes him a minute to realise why you’ve said that but when he catches up on it, a snort leaves him and the sound makes you smile.

“That reminds me… Good for you.” You start back up, remembering something else from the song.

Matty’s face falls in confusion again, “What?”

“1400 days, 9 hours and 16 minutes? I wouldn’t be able to do it.” And whilst you’re actually really proud of him for that, you feel the need to make him laugh with a twist on the line.

He offers a tight lip smile, taking it very literally “Oh, thank-” But you interrupt him and finish your joke.

“You’re basically a virgin again.” You add, gasping slightly like it’s impressive.

Matty stays still for a few seconds before shaking his head, his expression showing how unimpressed he was about your joke. It’s not that it was too far though, or else he would’ve stopped you right there. “No that’s not-”

But you interrupt once more, “I’ll get you a purity ring next time I see you.” You promise with a smile, which has him shaking his head as he tries not to laugh.

You give yourself a few seconds to enjoy the moment and then you’re back resuming the conversation. “What’s your favourite lyric? That you’ve written?”

He sighs, trying to come up with an answer from the top of his head but he just can’t. “There's too many to remember. Do you have any favourites?”

He really is trying to get some more out of you even if it was through analysing your preferences on his music. And you do have favourites, but you’re not playing right into his hands.

You press your lips together before telling him like it pains you to reveal, “There's almost too many words.”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, “I tried to cut down on the too many words on this album.”

“Really?” You ask, and when he nods almost a little upset about it, you drive the point home by asking again, “Do people say, just please stop with the words.”

Matty fights the urge to chuckle, “To be honest, yeah.”

“Yeah.” You nod like you agree although inside you want to tell him to never stop.

“Because it does get a lot but I've been quite… okay, my favourite lyric at the moment is ‘I’m in love with you’.”

“Awh,” You smile sweetly at him, “Thanks.”

Matty put you in your place, “No, I wasn't talking to you. I was just saying-”

And because you knew that was coming, you ultimately have to shoot him down and scorn him, “That’s your favourite lyric you’ve ever written? ‘I'm in love with you’?”

Matty rolls his eyes at your tone, “I’m just trying to be earnest and open, and you've just said my lyrics are pretentious.”

You act annoyed at his victimisation, “I’m just saying out of all the lyrics to pick, you've chosen ‘I’m in love with you’ which anyone could say and people do say all the time.”

Matty smiles at that and simply says, “Exactly.”

Entirely unimpressed with that answer, you give him a disinterested look before asking, “So where’s George?”

He takes a sip of his flavoured water, looking up trying to genuinely think about an answer but he has nothing for you, “Not sure actually.”

“Why don’t you know where your best friend is?” Your face contorts, acting like his lack of knowledge on the matter was the most ridiculous thing.

But Matty frowns back at you, curious about the random inquiry. “Why do you want to know where my best friend is when you’re on a date with me?”

“Because I want to go on a date with his girlfriend.” You state calmly like the answer was as clear as day.

Matty continues to play offended, “And you're telling me this as you're on a date with me, why?”

“Because it could be a really nice pairing for us”

He tries to join the dots then, “For us? Like a double date.”

But you take him completely aback when you answer, “If a double date is in the bedroom then sureee...”

It was a miracle his jaw didn’t drop but he was frozen staring at you with a chip midair on the way to his mouth. “I didn’t take you for one to fuck on the first date.”

“Well you don’t know me, do you Matty?” You bite back, daring him with your eyes.

Matty was quick to talk back at you though, “You know me then Y/N?”

And you could say yes, because there’s a lot you can learn by following them for almost a decade but he didn’t need to know that.

“Touche.” Is what you say back, and you know he’s smirking at you but you’ve just let your eyes fall to your chicken box so you could take a little breather.

It seems that your date does the same because the both of you dig around your take out boxes for a brief moment. You absolutely love that you get paid to eat chicken nuggets and chips.

You decide to divert away from your prompts for a moment and ask him something you’re actually genuinely curious about, “Are you needy?”

“Yeah, we're all a bit needy.” Matty tells you honestly.

“Yeah.” You nod as you dig for another good chip, but as you do that you see Matty’s hand scoot towards your takeout box and you look up at him confused.

Pausing, you see as he awkwardly retracts his hand but then places it down again as if he’s not just been caught.

You whisper, trying not to let your amusement seep into your voice, “Did you just try and touch me?”

“Well I- I thought- There has to be a moment,” As Matty stumbles on his words you offer your hand out to him and bite the insides of your cheeks to stop from smiling as he continues, “So it's like, ‘I'm a bit needy’.” and you have to stop yourself from screaming when his warm had takes your cold one.

“See and now we-” Matty starts but you interrupt him.

“Your hand is warm, my hand is cold.” You almost gasp at how warm his hands are and you hold onto his hand a little tighter.

“See,” Matty takes your chilliness as proof that, “You're nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” You lie through your teeth, although you’re sure nerves don't make you cold. “I’m deoxygenated.”

Matty looks a little repulsed when he checks, “You're deoxygenated?”

“Yeah.” You nod, “That’s what being cold is.”

Matty says nonchalantly, “That’s a turn off.” And he lets go of your hand.

“Oh sorry,” You scoff, offended like you had even a chance with him anyway. And you sarcastically add, “I’ll breathe better for you.”

Sarcasm drips from his voice, “Gee, thanks.”

“Why don't you just buy me some…” You trail off, not really knowing where to go with this now.

“What?” Matty asks, completely baffled, “Oxygen?”

“No, a heated blanket or something,” You add in a little flirt, “To keep us both warm.”

“Or some gloves.” He shoots you down again.

You pause for a second then before you release a disappointed sigh, “Alright then, I guess we won't cuddle later.”

“I’m just thinking about your other dates… They could get jealous and not come on.” Matty uses that as his out and you decide to play along for now.

You hum in agreement, “I suppose.”

As you pick up another chip, Matty asks you, “Is there anyone else, like Drake you've got like- Has like anyone else cool said they wanna go on a date with you.”

“Err.” You think about what's coming up on your calendar.

But Matty says, “This is kinda like your slut era.”

“Well,” You grin and nod excitedly, “I actually think in 2023 I'm going to be even more slutty.”

Matty slowly nods and is quiet for a second before he says, “Wow.”

There was a strict no referring to Matty’s recent ex girlfriend, FKA Twigs, in the brief for this interview but absolutely nothing about referring to the ones before that. So you go in hard with it.

“Really hoping to get Halsey on here.” You smile brightly, and you pick up your can of Tango and offer it to him as a ‘cheers’ as you say, “Congrats for making it to twenty-eight, by the way. Rude of her to think you wouldn’t.”

Matty knocks his bottle of Volvic against your can and you take a sip just after you admit, “You know, with you coming on this date, I was really hoping to experience that religion she chats about.”

You flirt proudly and you love the way he smirks back at you. But you deflate his massive ego when you tilt your head to the side and continue, “Little embarrassing you need those blue pills to help you though.”

Matty immediately shakes his head, defending himself quick, “That was not-”

“Don’t worry, I will be taking the piss for how she says lilac.” You interrupt in a very dry and disinterested voice. You look into his eyes and sadly nod, “I can see why that relationship didn’t work just from that.”

Matty maintains a straight face but you slowly see a smile creeping on those lips of his. You do him a favour and say something else before he breaks.

You sit up a little bit straighter, with an excited grin on your face as you tell him, “I also can’t wait for my date with Alex Turner now.”

“Oh, you got Alex Turner to agree to this?” Matty asks, genuinely surprised at hearing that name fall from your lips.

“Well, not yet,” You smile sweetly, “But seeing as the two of you both date the same women, I have faith.”

Matty pauses at that and you think you might have pushed it too far. And you really have to clench your teeth together to stop yourself from apologising too quickly or ruining the gag. Because you found that fucking hilarious and you’re really hoping he would have done too.

But this long pause he’s doing where he’s just staring you down has you worried. And you don’t think you’ve ever felt relief like it when he breaks and smiles.

“That was a low blow.” Matty grins and he scorns you as he points a chip at you before he eats it and both of you laugh, needing to break the tension.

“I know you'll cut this bit,” Your date informs you, and he smiles as he says, “But I could get you the date with Alex, Wheels would kill to see it.”

You smile at that and at the mention of his nickname for his ex-girlfriend who is married to Alex Turner now. You’ve always found it quite cute that he is still really close friends with her, and she’s such a good artist, you would love to have her on the show. Which you don’t even hesitate to tell him.

“I would like to go on a date with her too, to be honest.” You smile.

And Matty knows just how much fun the two of you would be in a room together, so he promises with a grin, “I’ll hook you up later.”

You hum, accepting the help. “Maybe I should have Ross here. He’s fit.”

Matty, who was about to pop a chip in his mouth, pauses his actions for a second before continuing with a nod. “Yeah he is. He’d hate this though.”

You pout at the news, “Awh well. Oooo, what about George? George and Charli…”

He’s fully offended then at the second mention of his best mate, and the now erasure of his name when you talk about going on a date with George and Charli. “What? So I’m out of the double date now?”

You wince, “Well…”

But then Matty remembers watching a Chicken Shop Date with Charli so he frowns in confusion, “Didn't Charli come on a chicken shop date already?”

“With Amelia, that isn’t with me, is it?” your voice comes out sharp, like you were angry at the reminder you didn’t get to go on a date with her.

Matty raises his hands, “Oh, sorry.”

And then you just further play into the exasperation act, “Get your facts straight before you question me in future, god.”

It’s the way you sigh, absolutely done with the situation that has Matty containing his breath so he doesn’t laugh but you look at him, cheeks blown but the chuckles trying to come through and you just can’t not burst out laughing with him.

Hearing Amelia laughing with you and the crew not being able to hold their giggles back has you unable to calm down for the next minute. You let your head hang, silently laughing, so your hair covers your face.

You’re sure you’re blushing, so you try to gather yourself before showing your face again.

When you do though, your cheeks are still hot and when you fan yourself as you sigh, Matty smiles seeing you flustered.

“Right, okay.” The singer hears you mutter under your breath and when you brush your hair behind your ears, you’re back in character.

“Do you like taking risks?” You ask after taking a small bite of a chicken nugget.

Matty had picked one up as well and he takes a bite of his, nodding. “I like taking risks in my art more than in my life.” He quite likes this question, but he knows that he’s in for a change in direction, that’s what you do best.

“Like black and white music videos.” You add with dull enthusiasm.

Matty narrows his eyes at you, dropping the half eaten chicken nugget back inside his box, “Lots of people have done that.”

“Have they?” You quickly ask, frowning.

He looks at you like he's worried, as if he's not sure if you're joking when he confirms, “Yeah.”

“I thought you invented that.” You say with honesty laced in your words.

And there it goes, he thought. “Yeah and then neon.”

Your face lights up, “Yes, I heard you invented neon.”

“Tumblr was my idea.” Matty continues to list, and you nod like it was common knowledge. “Doctor martens.”

You smile and tilt your head then, uncrossing your feet and swinging them enough to know you’ve hit his. “Got mine on. Very comfy, you designed them well.”

Matty looks down, leaning back to see under the table and he shakes his head seeing you're wearing the heeled version. He tells you, “Gotta get them off, you're taller than me in them.”

“Well you can take more than my shoes off if you fancy.” You dare him with a raise of your eyebrows.

He groans in response and you sigh, “Don’t act like you aren’t gonna write a song about this later.” You pop a chip in your mouth and stare at him.

Another concerned look shows up on Matty’s face and he sarcastically replies, “Oh, yeah, definitely.”

“What is it gonna be? ‘She took a video of us eating chicken and put it on the internet’?“ You almost blush, that was the cringiest thing you could’ve ever said.

Matty slowly looks up from his food, and fakes appreciation for the line you half stole from him. “That’s a very good line actually. I’ll pinch that one, but sorry, I don’t give credit.”

You feel the need to interrogate him for that, “Is that how it usually goes then? You have someone tell you lyrics and you just take them and say it was all you?”

He nods, unapologetic of his fake admission. “Pretty much.”

“No, but really how does it usually go?” You ask as genuinely as you can whilst staying in character. You want to start your next planned bit but he had to be unaware of it so you could get his best reaction. “Could you just tell me a bit about your songwriting process?”

“I suppose that I sit there, and I…” Matty starts then and you pull out a pack of Richmond Super Kings from your coat pocket.

As you’re pulling a fag and the lighter out, you notice Matty’s stopped talking. You look up at him and see he’s watching you, confusion written all over his face for you to see.

You tell him, “Sorry, carry on.” as you put the fag between your lips and light it with ease.

If Amelia was doing this interview, you know that this bit would have been hilarious because she doesn’t know how to smoke. But you used to smoke in your teens and you still partake from time to time so lighting up really isn’t an issue for you.

“I kind of look at the news… And I think about what's happening…” Matty continues to tell you, but you're paying him no mind now.

When you edit the video, you’ll be putting this bit in black and white so you’re fully pretending to be in a music video. But what both you and Amelia both thought would be funny, was that you should try and do smoking tricks.

So as your date continues with his songwriting spiel, you somehow manage to conjure up the muscle memory of doing a smoke ring. And when you do it, you sit up a little taller feeling proud of yourself.

Impressed, Matty stops to tell you, “That was cool.” as the both of you watch as the ring slowly gets bigger and eventually disappears.

“I am cool,” You smile at him, but instruct him to, “Carry on.” as you take the next drag of the cigarette.

But you should have just quit while you were ahead because when you try and do the thing Matty does all the time in the videos that you’ve seen of him, where he dangles it from one corner of his mouth and breathes the smoke out from the other side but it doesn’t work.

“And think about what's funny… And I think about how I'm feeling.” And Matty abruptly stops and he watches your struggle.

You look up at him and ask, “Is that right?”

“You don't need to do this.” Matty looks and sounds like he feels sorry for you.

You try and look down at the cigarette but ask point with your hands at the direction you want the smoke to come out of your mouth from, “How do you do it when it comes out of that side? I could never do it.”

“Give it,” Matty demands leaning forward to take the fag from you, “I’ll show you.”

You watch as he puts it between his lips and he looks like he’s just put it further into his mouth so the filter is almost against his teeth. Matty begins to explain, “So, like that-”

“Yeah, I knew that,” You lean across and take it from between his lips and when you do it, to make it worse, you purposefully don’t do it right and you know your mouth is practically fully closed. You just prompt Matty, “Yeah, carry on.”

He looks like he’s hurting himself by watching your struggle, “No, because your lips are closed in the-”

You interrupt and just about mumble with your mouth closed, “Just carry on.”

And when Matty deflates and closes his eyes, letting his head hang as he says, “I sit there and I think about the world and about myself and I write.” it takes everything in you not to burst out laughing at his defeated disposition.

“Right I- I-” You stumble on your words as you take the fag out of your mouth and waft away the smoke, “This is really not me anymore.”

“This is never gonna work.” Matty sighs as he watches you stub the cigarette out in your food.

“I just.” You begin to defend yourself as you continue to put the fag out on one of your chicken nuggets, but then Matty offends you.

He simply states, “So unattractive.”

“That was attractive,” You defend yourself, as you look back up at him, “And this was a lesson for you.”

Matty makes a slicing his neck hand gesture a few times, but you just talk over him, “Don't smoke.”

He giggles at that which has you breaking character for a second too because that was a tragic section and you know you’ll cringe watching that back later. But then your date grabs your attention again.

As he picks up the pack of fags from the table, you quietly tell Matty, “Those are fake cigarettes, by the way.”

“They are fake cigarettes?” Matty asks significantly louder, which has the both of you laughing a bit.

“Amelia thought I could get arrested or something if I smoked inside.” You laugh and you have no control over it anymore, you just let yourself continue laughing at the situation.

Matty looks down to the ground and starts laughing with you, which has your giggles dying down as you press your lips together to not smile as big as you wanted to.

When he looks back up at you, Matty finds you just looking at him and he takes the opportunity to take his time and do the same. He twirls the strand of hair falling over his forehead as he keeps his gaze on you and you bite your tongue to keep yourself from blushing under it.

He looks at your clothes again, catching the look of the red bandana tied around your wrist. His eyes go up and down and then it suddenly clicks for him. “Oh, I've just now got it.”

“Got what?” Matty really takes his time to stare at you, which makes you feel slightly uneasy but now you’re just confused.

“You’re dressed like the girl from the robbers video.” He points out, rolling his eyes amused at the effort to make a reference with your clothes.

You hold back a laugh, and your eyes widen to play being so stunned at the speed of his thinking. “Wow, you are truly the einstein of your generation. We’re like twenty minutes into our date and you’re just noticing now.”

“I like the twist to it. I love the leather.” And Matty truly means it, the red leather pants look amazing on you.

You finally are able to play on the joke that you’d dressed up like this for, “I feel like maybe we should recreate the music video. You know, do an updated version of it.”

Matty keeps his expression blank as he meekly asks, “Is this just you trying to get me to kiss you through a bandana?”

“Yeah you caught me.” You shrug, without a hint of excitement on your face.

“So is Robbers your favourite then?” He shifts in his seat, actually wanting to know about your favourite song of theirs.

“The video?” You ask and he nods, not really meaning only the video but it was a start. You continue to lie through your teeth as if it didn’t somehow shape you as a person, “Oh yeah, it’s great if you love a shitty plagiarised version of a classic.”

It wasn’t what Matty was expecting, but just as he was about to open his mouth to get back at you, you went for him again, “It’s kind of like you! Aren’t you just a watered down version of Adam Levine?”

Matty glares at you then, completely unimpressed by your teasing. And just because he was still curious about your favourite, he ignores you and brings the topic back around.

“In all seriousness, do you have a favourite song of mine?” Matty asks, genuinely wanting to know.

“Why?” You ask hopefully, “Are you going to sing it to me?”

“If you want me to?” Matty shrugs slightly amused, “What’s your favourite song?”

You think about it for a moment, before you settle on, “Undo.” not entirely because it’s your favourite but you know where you can go with it.

Matty’s face falls, expecting something fun like It’s Not Living, so he has to ask, “You want me to sing Undo to you?”

“Yeah.” You nod, “Just the chorus.”

“How does that even go…” Matty’s eyes go wide as he thinks to himself for a second, before he starts singing quietly, “I wanna see you undo it, I wanna-”

You interrupt to tell him, “I wanna see you undo my leather pants too.”

Matty bites his cheek then, as he really should have seen that one coming. Both of you end up staring at each other again until you tell him another one of his tunes.

“I like that song you start most of your albums with.” You say as you pick up another nugget and take a bite.

“Oh,” Matty nods understanding which you mean, before he starts singing, “Go down, soft sou-”

“Yeah, you can.” You interrupt again, this time really having to stop yourself from grinning.

Matty frowns as he’s clearly confused, “What?”

“Go down on me…” You say a little quieter, and you pause for a few seconds before you say, “You can.”

He’s taken aback by this, and you watch him as he leans back blinking slowly. A little, “Oh.” is the only thing that falls from his lips in response.

“Please.” You say quickly before leaning back into your seat and taking a long drink so you don’t break character.

And when you get no response, as the man across from you is keeping his cards very close to his chest, and you feel like you could crack up at any second, you decide it’s best to wrap up.

“Matty,” You smile, “This has been really fun.”

But your date shocks you when he says, “I’ll go on another date with you.”

“Oh.” You say and Matty can hear the surprise in your voice. You even sit up a little straighter, liking the sound of that, “Okay.”

You’re fucking buzzing that you didn’t have to ask yourself.

And when Matty even asks, “If you want?”

You hum in agreement and smile a little, but then you see him offer his fist bump you and you frown at him like he’s just ruined this whole date.

“I don't wanna fist bump you.” You frown at him, almost like you’re cringing.

And he makes it worse when he mimes spitting into his hand for you to shake, and you shake your head and look at him like he’s an alien, “No, don't spit in your hand.”

And then your stomach drops when he puckers his lips and points up to them.

Embarrassment gets you quickly as you awkwardly say, “No, I can’t. I don't wanna kiss you.”

He surprises you when he asks an almost offended, “Why?”

“Because I just smoked a cigarette.” You say without missing a beat hoping that would be the end of it.

“Come on.” Matty grins, now leaning forwards on the table.

“I'm not, no.” You say a little louder, getting embarrassed now as he’s grinning at you.

He encourages with a big grin, “Come on.”

“No.” You shake your head as you begin to panic.

“Come on.” He’s enthusiastic now and you really can’t function anymore.

You just hold your breath, not knowing what to do as Matty stares at you. You half think he’s joking but then he very seriously says as he looks into your eyes, “You’ve gotta commit to the bit, let's do an earnest kiss.”

You look down, having to breathe for a short second before looking back up into those brown eyes of his. He’s grinning like a fool as he says, “Let's kiss, for real, right now.”

You take a second to think if you can do it, and ultimately you decide that you can’t. “No.”

Matty pauses and just stares you down for a few seconds until you crumble into your next excuse, “I can’t reach.” You shrug.

“I can reach.” Matty challenges.

You shake your head a little, “I can’t reach you.”

“I can reach you.” Matty repeats and as he starts to stand up to get closer.

“I can’t reach.” You say again and he gets closer, almost too close for your unprepared self. So you quickly hold your finger up and put it against his lips, “Okay wait, let me prepare myself.”

“Come on,” Matty encourages, “Don’t be pathetic.” but he’s saying it with the biggest smile as he sits again.

You take a breath and look down before you look back up and see the mischievous grin still on his face. ‘You can do this Y/N, come on’ You tell yourself and after a deep breath you put on a brave face.

“Okay,” You lean forwards and rest your elbows on the table like he is and you’re desperately trying not to get more embarrassed.

You can’t pussy out of this one because you’ll never forgive yourself and you know you’ll never hear the end of it from Amelia. And you truly don't want Matty to think you’re pathetic.

“I'm not doing the work,” You tell him, letting your flustered self be free now, “You do the work.”

“It’s 2022,” Matty frowns, but a smile is tugging at the corners of his lips when he asks, “Shouldn't you be doing the work?”

You say the first thing that comes to mind, “I did the work, I asked you on the date.”

Matty corrects you, fully smirking now, “Amelia actually asked me on this date.”

“Okay, I paid for your food, you kiss me, I think that's fair.” You point out, and you can feel your cheeks getting hotter by the second at the mere thought of him about to kiss you.

And when he doesn’t move for a solid five seconds, and you're getting more flustered and embarrassed at the thought, you snap and ask him, “Are you going to kiss me or not?”

“God, shut up.” Matty sighs before he picks himself up and leans across the table to kiss you.

The moment his lips touch yours, you’re sure your heart goes into cardiac arrest. Never in a million years did you think this date would lead to Matty Healy’s lips being pressed against your own.

Without being dramatic about it, the kiss is a long peck, but for you it lasts a lifetime. Because when you think it’s about to be done, you feel Matty’s hand cup the side of your face and pull you in for another one, one that is much less awkward than a peck on the lips.

It’s an actual kiss, where both of your lips move together for it to be remotely good, but obviously not going as far for any tongues to be involved. It was just a very nice sweet kiss and the cherry on top is the gentle stroke of your cheek just as he pulls away.

You’re fully not in character anymore when he moves away, you’re just so embarrassed. You can’t believe you’ve just kissed Matty Healy.

He sits back and says, “That wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You can feel your cheeks heat up now, and because you have no other words you say, “Thank you.”

Matty half grins and shakes his head and you can tell he’s about to get up from the table, and he says, “I’m going.”

So you say an equally awkward, “Thank you… Bye.”

“See ya.” Matty says as he stands and he walks over to Jamie.

All that’s left for you to do is to look embarrassed, which you can’t really help at the moment. You’re malfunctioning and you don’t know where to look. The ghost of Matty’s touch so very present on the side of your face, leaving you feeling things you won’t be able to shake up in at least a few hours.

You’ve never been so thankful to hear Tyler shout, “And cut.”

Your small crew does a little round of applause and to keep yourself busy and to try and regain some composure, you just take your phone out. As you calm down, you take a picture of the fag and ash in amongst your chickken nuggests and chips.

“Can’t believe one finally broke you, Y/N.” Your director laughs.

And without looking up, you tell him, “Shut up Ty.”

At that you hear your crew laughing and you're sure Matty is too. But you don’t look up, not until your best friend comes over and giggles, “That was quite possibly our best episode yet.”

“Amelia fuck off a minute, yeah.” You smile awkwardly, pushing her away.

But she doesn’t let you, instead she smushes her cheek against yours in a side hug and she gets you laughing again. But she embarasses you too when she whispers in your ear, “He fancies you.”

At this you shove her away, “Fuck off.”

“Can’t, need you to do the promo pictures now.” Amelia grins and kisses your cheek before standing back up and turning towards where Matty is currently standing by the window with Jamie, “Matty, are we okay to get some promo shots now?”

“Yeah course. Jamie needs to go over something with you as we do, if that's okay?” You hear him ask Amelia and she nods before heading over to talk to his manager as Matty comes back over to join you.

You smile at each other and you feel the embarrassment take over once again. But you try to maintain a somewhat normal and professional person by saying, “Thank you for that.”

“The kiss or the date?” Matty grins as he retakes his seat.

“Get fucked.” You shake your head, feeling your cheeks start to heat up now and you start to unapologetically laugh.

Matty chuckles freely now too, and he confirms, “The date… It’s fun. I see why you like doing them.”

“Yeah, they keep me busy.” You smile, encouraging a now normal conversation between you in hopes that it’ll make you feel more at ease around him.

“You guys ready?” Your photographer Poppy asks the both of you, and after you put your phone back into your coat pocket, you give her the green light once Matty is comfortable too.

There’s certainly an atmosphere between you and him now, one that you certainly are trying to ignore as you start smiling for your pictures. You can’t help but think he’s quite cute in the way that he poses for them, always tucking his hair back behind his ears, but he keeps that one little strand out for you to silently simp over.

You’re taking the pictures for no longer than five minutes, and once they are done, you ask Matty if you can get a few bits on your phone so you can make a TikTok and an Instagram Reel. Of course, he says yes as he’s up for playing along and watching you be even more creative.

You get your phone out and ask him to give your camera the eye in a few different ways. He looks so fucking sexy in his suit in front of you and you find that your cheeks heat up from just watching him through the camera. Thankfully, he’s easy to direct and he eats the food like you tell him too in a somehow sexy way, it should be illegal to look that good whilst eating a chip.

Matty even helps you with your side of the short video. He holds your phone for you and he encourages you to smile awkwardly at him and he loves seeing that even now you’re still a little flustered. And you take the phone from him to record the last bit yourself where you still awkwardly smile at him as you move the camera to and from you fast.

Even at that Matty is impressed because once he presses the button to stop recording, you change immediately and you’re back to your bubbly self again as you thank him.

Next you get your polaroid camera out that you always bring with you and once Matty tells you it’s okay, you take a picture of him. And because he won’t take no for an answer, he takes the camera from you and takes a picture of you posing as you eat a chip. The both of you chat at the table for a few more minutes about questions Matty has for you about your chicken shop dates and you do until you’re interrupted.

After Amelia and Jamie are done going over whatever it was, she asks Poppy to get another few promo pictures of you and Matty standing up beside each other. You send her a knowing glare but you stay professional and get up when Matty does and you succeed in not losing your shit when his hand finds your hip so he can hold you next to him.

You get a normal picture of the both of you smiling before another crew member of yours hands Matty his takeout box to hold for another picture. And in the next you steal a chip from it and take a bite.

And when Poppy thanks the both of you, you step away from each other as the crew start packing up the cameras. Pleasantries are exchanged between you and Jamie as Amelia chats to Matty a little more, no doubt coming up with more ways to embarrass you, which certainly turns out to be the case.

Just after you all start talking between yourselves, Matty checks his phone and he notices the time. He encourages Jamie to get ahead of the traffic and whilst they quickly say goodbye to each other, Amelia tells you what she and Jamie spoke about.

Thankfully it was nothing major, just that the bit about you knowing that Matty only lived 10 minutes away from this Chicken Inn needed to be cut from the final video. Nothing else was mentioned, and apparently Matty had given the green light for you to use whatever you liked from the whole video. You truly love it when your guests give you free rein to have your creative freedom.

Once Jamie had taken off, your crew starts packing down and you and Amelia stick around to help out if needed. You always do, although, you’re never wanted or needed because Tyler, your director, is OCD about his equipment and he doesn’t trust either of you enough with it, which you don’t exactly blame him for.

So both of you stand in the corner of the room with Matty and stay chatting to him whilst he wants to stick around. The conversation moves from the ‘date’ the both of you went on to Matty asking you how the both of you had found being in the public eye and different experiences you’ve had since doing so.

And as you’re halfway through telling him how mental it’s gotten, and that both you and Amelia are hosting the GQ awards red carpet next month, and how baffling it is to you, your best friend realises the time and has to go herself. Her ‘oh shit’ pauses your story and you’re reminded that she’s going out herself tonight and she needs to get home to get ready to head out into central.

That commute is an hour in itself so she’s probably going to be late to her commitment later if she doesn’t leave right now. She gives you a guilty look as you can tell she doesn’t want to leave you with the ‘overseeing’ of the crew putting the stuff away, but you tell her to go and that you’ll be fine.

She thanks you before saying goodbye to Matty and she gives him a hug, and then she gives you a big one which is a lot tighter than her usual hugs, so you know it has a hidden meaning. Since filming stopped, you could see in her eyes just how excited and happy for you that this episode had gone well, and she knows that you’re thrilled on the inside and you’re bottling it up.

“I’m coming round to yours tomorrow, don’t forget.” Amelia tells you and you nod, playing along as if that was actually the plan all along.

You know she’s just planned that so you can scream with each other about today's date and about how teenage you has just lived one of her dreams and she can die happy knowing she got to experience a kiss from the lead singer of her favourite band. You truly wouldn’t be surprised if she showed up at your flat with a cake.

“Go or you’ll be late.” You hurry her out, not wanting her to inevitably embarrass you more by saying anything else in front of Matty.

The both of you watch your best friend as she thanks and says goodbye to the members of your small crew and she quickly disappears out of the front door.

Now that it’s only the two of you, and the crew that’s packing everything up, there’s this sort of anticipation building up. You both know it, you can see it in Matty’s eyes and it’s making you giddy.

So he pushes the boat first, telling you, “I need to go for a fag.”

Biting your lip to hide your knowing smile, you grab his wrist, not really thinking about it, “Let’s go through the back door.”

You give smiles to the workers that see you walk past, but it’s only when you step outside and the cold air hits your face that you take a deep breath.

The small outdoor area the building has isn’t exactly the nicest, it’s just simple tiles on the ground and it’s bricked up like the rest of the houses around here. But it has to be better than the alleyway behind it where all the bins are kept and at least if you keep close to the building there’s a small canopy that keeps today's drizzly weather from getting to you.

Matty can see how tense you are, being accentuated by the speed in which you release your hold around his wrist so he jokes to make you relax, “So you did actually want to go where nobody knows?”

He smiles satisfied when he hears you chuckle, “You’re such an idiot.” Your smile breaks on your face freely now and when Matty sees it’s there to stay, he can’t help but stare.

His eyes stay on you as he pulls out a cigarette and places it between his lips, that’s why he catches you watching his every move and so he offers, “Do you want one?”

You debate within yourself, struggling to see if the craving is really worth it but seeing as you're about to start shaking from the situation in which you’re in and not necessarily from the cold, you nod.

When the cigarette is given to you, you quickly place it between your lips and Matty lights it up for you. He watches you take your first drag as he lights his own and it’s such a stark contrast to how it was inside. Scratch him saying it was unattractive, you look so incredibly stunning right now that he can’t take his eyes off you.

“So, you going to tell me what happened between Amelia and Aitch?” Matty starts the conversation off with something he knew could take the edge off, and when you playfully narrow your eyes at him while blowing some smoke out of your mouth, it makes him chuckle.

Back when Amelia’s Chicken Shop Date with Aitch came out, it sparked a lot of comments from everyone who saw it. Their chemistry had been very obvious, and it had been talked about everywhere on your and Amelia’s content. And afterwards, when they started talking behind the scenes, people had made loads of theories as to what they were doing and what their relationship status was.

Of course, you didn’t grace the public with any official statement to the rumours, because in reality they started fucking each other. And it wasn’t like your best mate owed anyone any explanations, so you just let the wave of gossip pass until it eventually died down and the masses moved onto the next pile of hot gossip.

“What do you think happened and I’ll tell you if you’re right.” Is the best you can give him, not wanting to talk about Amelia’s business when she wasn’t there to approve.

Without a second thought, Matty just spills his suspicions, “I think they started fucking each other, maybe did a friends with benefits thing for a while but then he said that he couldn’t commit to anything long term because he’s going on tour and he’s young and immature and he doesn’t want to be tied down.”

Your eyebrows raise hearing that, the detailed explanation making you want to tease him, “It's like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Well, now you know what happened with Halsey.” He replies nonchalantly, taking another drag of his cigarette.

You give him a small chuckle, “Wasn’t difficult to guess at the time to be honest.” Because it really hadn’t been.

“You’ve known about my music for that long?” Matty genuinely inquires. The Halsey situation had happened so long ago, it felt weird thinking back to it and being about eight years since then.

His surprise makes you frown, “Why do you sound so surprised? You say it yourself that you make good music, why wouldn’t I have heard it back then?”

“Ah, but you knew about Halsey.” Matty says, like it meant you had been obsessed with him since then.

You raise an eyebrow, “She wrote a song about you.”

He had everyone talking about them both when he turned 28 and tweeted about it, and Matty knew that but he wanted to see how much he could push you. “But you said you knew at the time… You're a big fan of mine, aren't you?”

You stare ahead, watching the tiny drops of rain fall down lightly. You two were taking cover under the bit of roof that was sticking out and covering about a foot and a half from the wall of the back of the place.

To tease him, you give him a smirk and a side eye as you say, “I can go off people very quickly you know.”

But Matty had all that Amelia had told him inside under his sleeve, “You’re really gonna stand there and lie to my face.”

The disbelief in his voice has you actually confused, “I’m not lying about anything.”

“Amelia’s just showed me a picture of teenage you with my name on your top.” He retaliates all smug and you freeze on your spot.

You will throttle your bitch of a best friend tomorrow. He doesn’t even have to go into more detail because you know exactly the picture he’s on about. Your white ‘lol you’re not Matt Healy’ top that you proudly wore everywhere back in 2013 and 2014.

You roll your eyes and admit, “Okay, yeah, fine. I do like your music.” You sigh, closing your eyes, “So much for best friends never betraying each other.”

A cackle leaves Matty’s lips then, making you open your eyes and turn to him with a hint of a smile. “She’s also told me about your riot tattoo…” He takes a step towards you, positioning himself in front of you so you can't stay looking ahead and evade his gaze. “Right there.” He takes your wrist in his hand and rubs underneath the bandana with his thumb.

You lick your lips, looking down at his touch and you shake your head before looking back up at him. “What else has she bloody told you?” You bring the cigarette back up to your lips, “Fucks sake.” You mutter under your breath after taking a long drag, only to drop what’s left of it on the ground, an action that Matty follows.

He lifts the piece of red fabric enough to see the word inked on your skin. “Why’d you cover it up?”

You have to control your breathing but with the way his thumb keeps brushing over your first tattoo, there’s goosebumps breaking out on your skin and you’re sure he notices, but you hope he alludes it to the weather.

“Because that's a turn off.” You argue but Matty’s quickly shaking his head.

He looks back up at you, letting your wrist down slowly. “No it’s not.” He reassures, and you feel like you can maybe breathe again by the loss of contact, but his eyes find yours and they stay there for a while, making it harder to keep your cool.

You open your mouth, not even sure about what you were going to say as the short distance between you has you malfunctioning but Matty beats you to it when he says, “You’re a tough one to crack, aren’t you?”

That smirk you have seen so much throughout the years comes back and you match it when you reply with another question which he might’ve said was not nice if it wasn’t for the way it made him feel. “Is it bad I like to keep people wondering?”

Matty tilts his head, taking in a short breath through his teeth, “A little bit cruel maybe, but nothing I wouldn’t mind enduring.”

You hum, “Like enduring the rain wetting your back right now?”

Matty thought you wouldn’t notice but with the rain intensifying, of course he had wanted to cover you from it. But to look more casual he just shrugs, “It’s only a drizzle, innit?”

It was like he had just jinxed it because you watch the drizzle turn into a shower and you can’t stop yourself from laughing. “You were saying?”

Matty shakes his head, grinning at you so big that it reaches his eyes. And you do the same but when he takes a step backwards and then another one so he’s fully under the heavy rain, you gasp.

And he doesn’t even give you the time to joke about what he’s just done because he walks back towards you.

Shaking your head, you only manage to say, “No, no.” as you think he was going to hug you and get you all wet, but he grabs your wrist and quickly pulls you with him into the rain.

“Matty!” It’s all you can say between gasps. It’s so cold and you can barely keep your eyes open, you’re just squinting from the water on your face. “You dickhead!”

He just continues to laugh and it’s such a contagious noise that you can’t try and fake being annoyed at him, you join his laughter. “Live a little Y/N! Just enjoy the rain.”

You scoff, but it’s only to hide the fact that you really are enjoying how mundane the moment is despite it being hard to believe who you’re experiencing it with. “Very easy for you to say, you have like three layers on.”

He realises then, he should probably get the umbrella out just so you don’t get drenched for longer or else you’d get ill, so he walks up to you and opens it up over your heads.

“You’re no fun.” Matty jokes, and when you roll your eyes at him as you try and fix your now wet hair, he just has to get you back to how you were before the rain interrupted.

So Matty purposely takes another step to shorten the distance between you. But then he leans forward, wrapping his right arm around your waist and bringing you impossibly closer to him.

“C’mere,” His voice falls to a whisper that sounds only a little louder than the spatter around you. “I don’t want you getting wet.”

The smirk on his face and his sarcasm has you rolling your eyes again, but he cannot ignore how you’re biting your lip as you fail to hide your smile.

“As if I’m not already drenched, thanks to you.” You bite back, and when you feel his thumb rubbing on your lower back, you can’t help but shiver.

Matty’s smirk gets bigger at that, and it continues to grow on his face when you react to him saying, “Only for the wrong reasons, love.”

You feel yourself blushing, so you decide to ignore what he’s just said for your own well-being. You’re truly on the brink of a freak out at this whole situation, 19-year-old you is screaming at the top of her lungs somewhere deep inside you.

“You’re really gonna have to make it up to me if I get sick and miss the next week of work.” You threaten, and it’s honestly an empty one because you don’t have much going on but you can’t think about anything else at the moment. Only Matty pressed against your front with his arm around your waist. Your mind is completely blank, and you have no idea what to say.

But you should’ve expected him to expertly make that the perfect start of another flirty comment.

“Do tell how you would like me to make it up to you.” He squeezes your waist lightly, and it all but makes you jump as he intently stares into your eyes.

You keep his stare, “Matty…” His name sounds like a beg when it leaves your lips and he fucking loves it.

So Matty continues to push your buttons, “Perhaps a cuddle… Isn’t that what you wished for earlier?” And he’s glad he can recall all that you said perfectly because he continues saying, “Believe you also pleaded for me to go down on you…” and your breath hitches in your throat.

Your voice sounds almost too weak when you reply, “Pleaded is a strong word.”

He hums, “But you did say please.”

You curse yourself for saying that, because you’re now just suffocating in this tension and you have no idea how to get out of it. Not that you really want to though.

You’ve already had a taste of his lips and being so close to another kiss really has your knees weak.

It’s like Matty reads your mind, or it might’ve just been that he had seen your thoughts shine through your eyes when he adds, “Maybe a get well kiss? Would that make you feel better?”

You’re unsure what happens next, as you barely hear the whimper you let out but Matty doesn’t miss it and you can’t control yourself when you say, “It might help.”

That’s all Matty needs to hear before he finally closes the distance and presses your lips together. At the same time, you both take a deep breath through your noses and like something had lit you both alive, you grow unable to keep it soft like you did inside.

Your arms wrap around his shoulder, and you don’t even care about the accidental knock you give the umbrella and how it wets your arms, you’re too focused on getting to feel this kiss for as long as you can.

Matty hates that he has to hold up the umbrella because all he wants is to hold your face like he had done before, and maybe it was the way he held you tighter against him that has you knowing so you bring one of your hands to cup his jaw while the other tangles in the hair at the nape of his neck.

When Matty deepens your kiss, he pulls you into him more and you find that you really don’t have that much control left over your impulses. Because when his tongue is suddenly teasing yours, you moan at the same time you pull your hand back from his hair to grab his tie.

You pull the fabric towards you, so he has no option but to keep this kiss going. And Matty is almost taken aback by your brazen attack. He knew you were nervous before this but just by this alone he would think you were the most confident woman on the planet.

The feeling in your stomach right now is something that you hope you'll never forget, because you can’t imagine this happening ever again. If you could stop time, you’d do so in a heartbeat because you don't want it to end.

So much so, that when you hear a nearby back door fly open Matty pulls away for the briefest second thinking you’d been caught. Clearly though, you don’t care because you grab his jaw and guide him back to your lips so he can kiss you again.

And Matty isn’t one to argue a kiss from a stunning woman like you. He kisses you back until you pull away from him when you lose your breath.

It seems that you’ve both lost yourselves in the gesture, as you keep your eyes closed and rest your foreheads against each other’s as you catch your breath.

Matty hasn’t kissed anyone since him and his ex split up and he certainly remembers the way he was with her initially. It was the same excited but nervous feeling he has in his stomach now.

He’s so fucking glad he’d gone on this date with you now.

After another minute of a breathless silence, your date is the one that breaks it.

“This isn’t what you do after all your dates, right?” Matty smiles with a joke, but there’s a small part of him that wants the reassurance that what’s happening here is special.

“No.” You breathlessly giggle at that and gently shake your head, “This is a first, don’t worry.”

He hums to acknowledge that, and it’s only then that he notices you let go of his tie. You part your forehead from Matty’s then so you can look as you flatten down his tie, but you don’t attempt to fix it.

Both of you are still breathing heavily and you’re savouring the feeling of being held so tightly to him. Another minute passes the both of you by then, the silence between you not deafening like it was inside as you have the sound of the rain hitting the umbrella above you and the ground around you to keep you sane.

And as you watch each other now, you’re not holding anything back, your guards are down and it’s freeing getting to stare into those brown eyes of his. Matty could watch you all day, he almost hesitates to start a conversation again just in case he shortens this between you.

“I get back from tour around the twentieth of December, but then I go back home for Christmas.” Matty tells you, his hot breath fanning your face as under the umbrella it seems to keep the hot air which is now making both of your damp skin get that muggy feeling. You wouldn’t change it for the world though because he smiles as he continues, “But I'm back for New Years. Might drop you a message then.”

You want to tell him that you’d absolutely love that, and that truthfully nothing would make you happier than meeting up with him without all the cameras and under the pretence of promo. But your sarcastic nature gets the better of you.

“Yeah, well, if nothing else,” You smirk as you remind him, “Please get me that date with your ex-girlfriend and her husband… Please.”

Thankfully it just makes the man, who’s still holding you to him like you might disappear, laugh out loud. You giggle yourself, finding the whole of today fucking mental, but nothing prepares you for hearing him half scorn you by saying, “You really should stop trying to get other dates when I’m trying to arrange our second one.”

Second date. Yeah, you’ve definitely gone insane and this is some sort of delusion.

“Well, stop with the gel in your hair and I'll think about it.” You smile, knowing that if he does message you, there isn’t a bone in you that could ever say no to him.

But you tell him sincerely with a soft smile as you glance up at his wet curls, “You look a lot better with it natural.”

Matty sighs, “You should have told me before the date.”

You giggle with a light frown, “I'm no one to mess with your image, Matthew.” And with the confidence that you now had in front of him, you tease him, “In other ways but not your image.”

Tutting, he warns you, “I’d stop if you’re not going to let me take you home now.”

“Okay, I’ll stop.” You bite your lip, trying not to recoil under his gaze.

But his face softens up when he tells you, “I had fun today.”

You give him the sweetest smile, one that has him melting inside, “So did I.”

And Matty can’t stay longer without asking then, “If I hypothetically asked you on a real date you would say?”

It doesn’t even take you a second to reply, “I would hypothetically say yes… Providing you have no gel in your hair.” You add at the end to try and keep the joke running.

“That’s hypothetically good to hear.” His smile gets bigger when you giggle.

“Enough with your hypotheticals.” You playfully scold him, but then you find yourself looking all around his face, appreciating every little detail and trying your best to memorise them. You brush back the wet curls that are falling on his forehead, swiping the drops of water with the pads of your thumbs.

Matty hums and lets his eyes fall close at your soft touch, and it’s when you smile at the peaceful silence that you realise just how long you’ve been outside and how he and you both were meant to leave very soon.

“How are you getting home anyway? Do you need me to call you a taxi?” You ask, already noting your phone was inside so if that was the case, then the two of you would have to go in again and wait there.

Matty opens his eyes and blinks slowly, “I’ll order an uber, don’t go worrying yourself.” Your worry was so adorable, but now it was time for him to do so, “How are you getting home? Where do you live anyway?”

You are quick to have him relax about your ride, “Crew will drop me back at the office and I get the tube home to Brixton.”

His face contorts as he realises that you’re going to have to go on the tube in your wet clothes. “That’s gonna be one uncomfortable ride back to Brixton. You’re all wet.”

You offer him a sarcastic smile, “And who do I have to thank for that?”

“Erm, well, you have a couple more things to thank me for too.” Matty’s eyes fall down to your lips, and you lick your lips just to subtly tease him some more.

You find yourself looking down at his lips again though, and then back up at him only to find him already staring at your eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

Matty leans forward with a smirk but doesn’t kiss you, instead his lips hover over yours by less than an inch and the way they brush over yours when he says, “You said so before.” has your eyes rolling back and it’s you again that seals the kiss.

This one feels different though. You are both just as desperate to lose yourselves in each other but it’s soft enough to know that you’re savouring the moment in attempts to remember the feeling of each other's lips until you meet again.

And the patience stays when your tongues move against each other’s, when he clutches you to him a little tighter, when you tangle your fingers in his curls and pull on them. Hearing and feeling him groan has your mind and heart racing.

It doesn’t last long, as you both are now aware of the time you’re taking but Matty thinks being selfish is necessary sometimes, so he presses his lips against yours again, this time only in a long peck.

But it’s enough to leave you both grinning like idiots, but neither of you can be bothered to care. You just stay there holding the other, until a loud honk pops the blissful bubble you were in.

“You should probably order that Uber now, the crew should be almost ready to leave.” You suggest, biting the corner of your swollen bottom lip.

Matty has to hold himself back from kissing you again, nodding as he pulls out his phone from an inside pocket in his trench coat.

It doesn’t take him long to call for one, and the app sadly tells you both that it’s arriving in 3 minutes, so you’re left to make small talk whilst it makes its way back. But neither of you mind, you feel like you’ve said what you needed to in between those kisses and none of you would forget the arrangement you had made.

So, the next 3 minutes are spent talking about how long it would be until the video would be done and posted, how they’d send it to them first and how it’d probably be the same with the pictures.

When the Uber is about a minute away, you two walk down the alley with the umbrella still over you and up to the front of the chicken shop. Your steps slow as you both try to put off having to say goodbye, but the moment arrives nonetheless and before you know it, Matty is crushing you in a hug with his Uber waiting behind him.

You are both reluctant to let go but when you glance over your shoulder to look at the grumpy expression of his driver, you know it's time to let go.

Matty is quick to remind you when he can look into your eyes again, “See you on New Years?”

You nod, with a massive grin on your face, “New Years.”

And because he wants more assurance - not that he needs it - and also because he doesn’t want you to get soaked again, he makes you take the umbrella from him.

At first you don’t want to accept it, you could easily just run a few feet back until you were inside the shop but he doesn’t let you give it back. “Take it.”

You stubbornly accept, but then Matty adds, “I want it back. On New Years.”

He has you giggling as easy as that, “And I’ll give it back. On New Years.”

“Good, ‘cause it was 200 quid.” That's the thing he leaves you with before he turns and quickly walks into the rain to get in the Uber.

You shake your head amused, and Matty manages to read your lips when you say, “Of course you spend 200 quid on an umbrella.” before he waves at you when the car starts to move.

And you wave back, letting out a sigh.

You don’t catch yourself standing outside the shop for another minute, just trying to grasp what has happened today, it’s Tyler calling out your name from the front door telling you to get back inside and away from the rain.

He and the rest of the crew had seen the hug and how Matty left you his umbrella but the director was now curious as to know where had you been from when you left with him for a smoke up until two minutes ago.

“You were out there a fair while…” Tyler trails off as you shake the rain off the umbrella to close it.

You know this is him trying to get some information out of you, so you just playfully glare at him and sarcastically say, “Oh really? I hadn’t noticed.”

They all know you’re not saying something, but you will be leaving them to their guesses until you actually muster up the courage to spill a secret or two. You trust this group of people with your life, but you wouldn’t tell any of these before you told Amelia.

You helped your friends get everything into the van you all came in, and before you know it you’re on route home. The trip to the office was quick, and you waited with Tyler to make sure that you got all the content downloaded onto his laptop and then put it on a backup external harddrive before a memory stick that you were taking home. You definitely didn’t need another disaster where you lost the footage to a date again. Especially not this one.

Truthfully, you couldn’t wait to start editing this one together, but you’d have to give yourself a few business days to recover. Their album is out in 3 weeks time and you can easily get it all together in the next week or so to have Jamie approve everything in time. You just need this weekend to process what’s happened today.

Something that’s still not fully hit you on the tube, nor when you go to your closest takeout on your way back to your flat. It hits you when your front door closes and silence washes over you.

As you put your food down, you release the squeal you’ve wanted to make since your idol sat down in front of you. And now you freely let your cheeks heat up at the memory of everything that’s happened today. You don’t even put music or the TV on as you eat because you’re so wrapped up in the memories of it.

You’re unable to process the things you said to him and the way you shamelessly flirted. The more you think about it, the more embarrassed you get and you let out small yelps as you recall some of the ways you chatted him up as you feel your cheeks flame. But that fact the flirting worked is the thing that you really can’t fathom.

You can’t believe he kissed you too, both on camera and again outside multiple times. The tingles on your lips and the way you can still feel where he held you close to him is one reason you don’t think you dreamt up the entire day. The only thing that stops you from believing that you had is Matty’s umbrella that’s propped up by your door.

And you can’t quite accept that he said he was going to get in touch when he got back off tour. A second fucking date. You might cry if you think about it long enough. But you really need to not get your hopes up.

Even if it does happen, little does Matty know that you’re certainly going to see him again before New Years. But after today, you think that you’ll stick to the back corner of those Pryzm gigs so you don’t have to deal with any embarrassment, especially when you know that the chicken shop date will come out the day after, the day their album releases.

You think adding to the mystery of ‘will he, won’t he’ will keep you sane. You can happily remain hopelessly deluded that this New Years meeting would happen. And if the end of December comes and nothing comes of it, you will just be pleased that you have this date to look back on forever. It certainly keeps the grin on your face for the rest of tonight.

But what gives you that glimmer of hope is an Instagram notification you got just before you crawl into bed. Needless to say, you fall asleep with a smile on your face.

@trumanblack started following you

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| Part 2 | Part 3 |

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A/N: Ahhhh we really hope you enjoyed it! Please let us know what you thought, we want any and all reactions please! What do you think is going to happen next? Remember to follow @alovesreading as Part 2 will be posted on her account! (We haven't written part 2 yet but we will work on it as soon as I’ve finished @nriacc, also hope you Alex stans liked your multiverse moment)

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