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eddiesxangel · 5 months

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Fuck the Nice List| Santa!Eddie x Reader

Smutty Part 2 of Hey, Mr. Claus

Cw smut, Eddie is dressed as Santa for your nieces and nephews and you can’t keep your hands to yourself. Minors DNI

The night was wrapping up as you and all your loved ones were gathered around the Christmas tree at your brothers' house. It was the first Christmas you were spending with your new boyfriend, Eddie, and he wanted to make a good impression on your family. So, he volunteered to dress as Santa for the younger ones. He already had experience from his Mall Santa job and thought it would be a way to get into your family's good books.

You heard a rustling of wrapping and tissue paper as the kids were getting squirmy and anxious to see who was coming around the corner.

“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!” Eddie belted in his lower register voice when he played the character. As he entered the living room, a sack of presents filled with gifts your family had bought prior was slung around his shoulder.

Many high-pitched cheers of joy pierced your ears as the young ones screamed. They all ran up to Santa Eddie, not knowing it was the man they sat beside at dinner. He had put much effort into his appearance to make it more believable.

His hair was tucked away into his hat that had a long white curly wig underneath it. A long, white, silky beard was attached to his face, and some makeup made him look a bit older and rosie.

Eddie sat and listened to each child on what they wanted, and then he gave them a single gift. He was attentive and aware of how important it was to each child. This would live in their memories forever. The “real” Santa was here just for them on Christmas Eve! What else could they want?

The way Eddie was being so good with the kids of your family was making you feel things. Your heart fluttered in your chest, your palms sweaty, and your lower belly area felt much warmer than it should at a family function. You couldn't wait to get your hands on the man you were falling for.

“When’s it my turn, Mr. Claus?” You bat your eyes at your boyfriend once you are alone.

Your siblings went to get their children ready for bed. Everyone was spending the night at your brothers' house so you could spend Christmas Day together as a family.

“Don’t tell me this is what you’re into, Sugar Plum?” He asked as you walk towards him

“So what if it is? You don’t wanna unwrap me like one of your presents?” You tug at his beard to bring his head down lower to kiss. “I think you’re going to like what’s inside,” you whisper seductively.

“You wanna ride on Santa’s sleigh?” Santa Eddie smirked as you ran your hands up his chest to his shoulders.

“More like his North Pole...”

Eddie groans as he lets his head fall back before grabbing your hand and guiding the both of you to your shared bedroom for the evening.

“I can’t believe you’re going to seduce me into fucking you at your family’s house.” He tugged you into the guest room and shut the door quietly, not to alert the others.

“Oh please, seducing you? All I have to do is breathe, and you want to fuck me,” you laugh before Eddie shuts you up with a searing kiss.

“Get undressed,” Eddie demanded before taking off his suit.

“Wait! Keep that on,” you smirk.

“Oh, so we are doing this?” He points between you and himself.

You bite your lip and nod, letting your dress fall.

Eddie’s eyes went wide as he examined your figure. You had on a matching lacy red set. The push-up bra hugged your breasts, and the panties sculpted your ass to look like the perfect little sugar plum.

Eddie backs up and plops on the edge of the bed without breaking his gaze. He was practically drooling at the sight of you.

“Come on, Snow Angel. Come sit on Santa’s lap and tell me what you want for Christmas.” Eddie bites his lip, beckoning you over.

You walk over and straddle Santa Eddie’s lap, draping both legs over his knees, landing your lacy cunt down on his already hardening cock. Eddie grips your ass, and you lean your weight into him.

“I want you to fill me with your cum this Christmas.” You whispered in his ear before nibbling on the lobe.

“Fuuuuuuuck baby you can’t just say things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what I wanted. I’ve been a good girl this year I promise.” You pout.

“I don’t know about that Sugar Plum? I’ve heard from the elf’s that you’ve been naughty.” Eddie bit at your neck as your hips began to grind down in your boyfriend’s lap. “You you’re going to do everything I say to make sure you really are a good girl.”

“Yes, Santa. I’ll do anything to get on your nice list.” You drop your head to kiss Eddie’s plump lips. Well, you at least tried to because the fake beard got in the way.

“Ok, this has to go,” you laugh as Eddie removes the synthetic beard from his face.

“Oh, thank god,” he mumbles before peppering kisses all over your chest and breasts.

“Fucking perfect,” Eddie mumbles as he presses his face into your cleavage and takes in your sent. You smell of cinnamon, ginger and pine needles.

“Mmmmm baby,” you moan as you grip the back of his head, keeping his face in your chest.

“You wanna lick Santa’s special candy cane?” Eddie smirked.

You slinked down his body, and he unbuttoned his suit jacket. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath, and you couldn’t help but run your hands up and down his naked torso. Your eyes soaked him in as he undid his pants.

“Mmmm, I bet it’s the sweetest.” You ran your hand up and down the tented fabric of his boxers.

“No more teasing. You wanna get on Santa’s nice list, don’t ya? Open up a nice big present tomorrow morning?” Eddie bites his bottom lip.

“Yes, Santa,” you pull his big cock out and give the tip a lick.

“Good girl, good fuckn’ girl.” Eddie stroked your head as you took him entirely into your mouth.

You take as much of him as you can in your mouth before gagging. The weight of his velvety shaft was so soft on your tongue. You loved giving Eddie head; it made you so wet every time without fail.

“Fuck you’re way too good at this. I’m going to bust already,” he lets out a breathy laugh.

“Mmmmmmm,” you hum at the compliment and continue to bob and suck on his cock.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he pulls your head up so he doesn’t explode right then and there. He pulls you up into a deep, long kiss as he goes to lay back on the bed. You followed his lead and hovered over top of him. You graze your sopping clothed cunt over Eddie’s bare cock as you adjust your weight.

Eddie hissed as he felt the pool of wet heat graze his cock. “You wanna take that ride now, baby?” Eddie moaned.

“Yes,” you sigh, and you feel Eddie’s hand pull your panties to the side.

“You gotta work for it, Sugar Plum; show Santa how good you can be,” he cooed as he curled your clit with a gloved finger.

“Fuck” you sigh, and you grind your hips harder on Eddie's cock.

“What did I say about teasing? You naughty little elf,” Eddie gritted out.

“M’sorry Santa, maybe I wanna be your naughty girl.” You continue to grind your hips back and forth from his base to tip.

“That’s it!” Eddie couldn't take it anymore. He flips the two of you over so you’re flat on your back.

“No more playing around. Santa needs his milk and cookies” Eddie ripped your panties right off, and before you knew what was happening, his muscular tongue was entering your wet hole, and his bright red nose was nudging at your clit.

“Fuck baby,” you whispered, trying not to disturb the rest of the house. He sat up and replaced his tongue with two fingers. You’re not even sure when he removed the white gloves.

“Mmm, best cookie I’ve tasted all year,” he mused, and your pussy clenched.

“Oh, you like it when I compliment your cookie, don’t you?” He massaged his fingers inside you, making your hips jerk up.

“Baby, please,” you begged.

“Naughty girls have to wait, baby; only good girls on the nice list get what they want” His thumb curled your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you.

“Baby fuck, I’m close,” you wined, and Eddie pulled away.

“Oh, she’s learning.”

“Baby I was so close-”

“Naughty girls only get to come when it’s on my cock.” He aligns himself up to your entrance.

“Fuck your so hot.” Eddie leaned down to kiss you. He kissed you hard, and it made your head spin.

Eddie slipped his tongue into your mouth, and at the same time, he slipped in his cock. You never got tired of the way Eddie stretched you out every time. He never failed to make you feel full. He knew how to take over your body. The way he would numb your mind, how he could literally fuck you dumb. You hadn't been together that long with Eddie. Only a month, really, but the way he knows your body, it was like he was made for you.

"Oh, you like that Sugar Plum? Do you like Santa's fat cock splitting you open? I wish you could see it, baby, the way your pussy swallows my cock is perfection." You must have been making noises of pleasure because you were already lost in your own little world of euphoria, and he had just started.

"Answer me, Sugar Plum. Tell me how much you like this cock." his hips slowed down in pace but never stopped. He will wait for your answer.

"I- fuck- I love it-ohhhhhhh," you cried as his head grazed your g spot.

"There's my good girl." Eddie's pace quickened. His hand ran up to massage your breast, still confined by the lacy red bra.

Your pussy clamped down at his words; you loved when he called you his god girl. It never fails to make your body tingle.

As his cock continuously slides against your g spot, your body tenses up at the oncoming orgasm Eddie is about to give you.

"More, please, I'm so close," You beg. You were so close to the euphoria that you would do anything for Eddie now.

"Sucha good girl letting me know. and you know what good girls get?" Eddie continues to thrust into your cunt while reaching down to open your legs up wider for him so that he could rub your clit. The new angle was just what you needed.

You quickly nod to Eddie's question before your body is ripped with a rush of serotonin.

"That's right, baby, they get what they ask for. Come, baby, you're doing so good for me." He talked you through your orgasm.

He followed not too far after you, finishing inside like you had asked. You loved it when Eddie came in you. He'd hug you close as he trusted his hips deep into your body that you felt so connected. Like you were made for one another. It didn't matter if the sex was silly or serious; you knew your souls were meant to be intertwined.

"I didn't know I had that many dirty Christmas analogies in me," Eddie laughed, shucking off the fluffy white and red suit jacket that made him a sweat bucket.

"Any now I have one more in me." you laugh, and Eddie can't help but fall in love with you.

Part 3

tag list: @allthingsjoeq @bettyfrommars @battymunson @onegirlmanytales @slutty-thevampireslayer @leelei1980 @tlclick73 @reidsbtch

#IM SORRY FOR THE CHEESY CHRISTMAS LINES I COULDNT HELP MYSELF #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x afab reader #santa!eddie munson #eddie munson fan fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson christmas imagine #Eddie Munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson concept #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fan fiction

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orpheuslament · 8 months

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End of Summer, Start of Something, Dante Émile

#im trying out a new font + style lmk if its harder to read #ill post a transcription when im home i cant do it rn #dante émile #words #poetry #poets on tumblr #this is so dumb & cheesy im sorry

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salsakiyoomi · 9 months

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the first time miguel met you, he was on patrol.

he saved you from a falling building that you were standing under with a dumbfounded expression on and unmoving — he managed to get you to safety but as soon as you were far away from danger, he was scolding you, telling you something about how you should get your damn legs moving when there’s rubble falling from above.

you had apologized at the time with a shaky voice, telling him how much you panicked that you froze — he only scoffed in response, mumbling about how you should be more careful before swinging away.

of course, at the time you only knew him as the snarky and rude spiderman of nueva york.

the second time miguel met you was on the sidewalk while he was heading for his job.

it was a nice morning, a soft breeze rippled his clothes and the sun kissed his skin warmly, he figured he'd stop for a coffee and that it wouldn’t hurt if he walked the way to the office, right?

before he knew it, your body was colliding with his and his coffee spilled to the ground ( thankfully not on his shirt, though ) he muttered a few curses in spanish, staring at the crumpled cup that used to be his drink, now spilled on the ground — it wasn’t until he registered the panicked apologies that he realized it was you.

the same civilian he saved a few days ago.

you looked out of place, in a rush with a white blouse that was half tucked into your black pants, your hair a bit of a mess as if you had just gotten out of bed.

you looked like you were late to work, and in your hurried steps, you had accidentally bumped into a stranger.

miguel told you that it was fine and you shouldn't worry about it in a rather passive aggressive tone but that didn’t cut your apologies short and instead you offered to buy him another coffee and when he refused, you dragged him to the nearest coffeehouse anyway and insisted that you’d buy him another drink in compensation for the one you made him spill

miguel figured he couldn’t refuse you at that point, you seemed rather insistent and stubborn, so he gave in to your offer and he figured it wouldn’t hurt to have his spilled coffee replaced.

despite having his morning ruined by bumping into someone, you out of all people — he’d say his day went great actually.

the third time miguel met you was at a work party.

he thought the voice he heard talking to another coworker sounded all too familiar, so when he turned around to see who it was, surely enough it was you, in a pretty little panel skirt red dress — your hair and make up done almost too well, and you didn't look hurried or panicked like the last two times he had seen you, rather, you looked relaxed, confident even, a soft smile on your painted red lips, and sparkling eyes as you spoke to your colleague.

miguel's mouth was practically agape as he drank the sight of you in — how come you were so pretty?

well, you were always pretty, he thinks, it was just amplified now.

especially with the way that dress fitted your body so good — miguel wondered how come he has never seen you at the office before.

miguel’s feet had a mind of their own because moments later he found himself walking over to you, drink in hand.

your eyes widened with recognition and you were immediately stumbling over your words, realizing he was the man you bumped into a week ago and spilled his coffee, but most importantly, the big bad scary boss of alchemax that you were meeting for the very first time, and he was offering you a drink.

you accepted it, of course.

two drinks later and you may have gotten too tipsy that you started telling him about how spiderman saved you one time, held you and scolded you. miguel could only laugh in response, because unbeknownst to you, they were the same person.

but then you started ranting about how you had the fattest crush on him and miguel almost choked on his drink — he knew if you were sober, you would've probably never said that out loud.

instead, he humored you, listened to you rant about the superhero and how attracted you were to him with an amused smile on his face — the first smile miguel had ever worn at the office.

of course, all of the other employees were stunned at how their boss seemed so relaxed and maybe even amused for the first time — considering how much he hated office parties, and well, the office in general.

several drinks later and at the end of the night, miguel was walking you out of the office building because you were too drunk not to trip over your own feet, he asked you if you had a ride home which you responded to with a slurred 'no'.

miguel decided, since he was a superhero, he’d save you just one more time and drive you home to safety, just without the mask this time.

midway through the drive home, you started rambling on again, this time about how you thought miguel himself was attractive, he let out a surprised laugh, it sounded a bit choked before he decided to tease you and ask you why you thought he was attractive.

you shrugged, your cheeks flushed form the alcohol and eyes half lidded before you murmured, "you remind me of spiderman."

he only chuckled a bit in response to that, and decided to not push it any further so you wouldn't somehow uncover his secret identity in your drunken state.

fifteen minutes later and he was parked under your apartment complex building, at least the one you pointed at, he asked you if you could get up to your apartment on your own to which you gave him a sheepish smile and shook your head.

he decided that it wouldn't hurt if he helped you to your doorstep.

surely enough, it was a struggle to get you out of the car, your legs shook and you leaned all your weight on him, mumble out incoherent 'sorry's and 'excuse me's.

miguel held you against him, an entertained smile on his face — it's the end of the night, your make up has worn out a bit and your hair was gathered into a ponytail to keep it out of your face — and even though you looked dazed from the one too many drinks you had, miguel though you still looked pretty, too pretty.

he got you into the elevator and you pressed the key to your floor, you leaned on him for support, letting out a soft hiccup once in a while — "i'm not…always like this, i swear." you said in a small voice, your words a quiet mumble. miguel laughed, shaking his head at you, "it's fine."

once you reached your floor, miguel helped you find your keys in your purse to open the door to your apartment — you managed so successfully, "i'm sure you'll be okay from here on out, yeah?" miguel asked, a hand on your back to support you still.

you nodded, turning to face him — a moment of silence passed with you just staring at him, before you leaned over to him, standing on your tippy toes and pressing your body against his, your lips touched his in a soft peck — though it was enough for him to get a taste of you, a whiff of your sweet perfume , and it was a little too much for him to process, the feel of your body against his, the softness of your lips fitted with his, and his heart was doing cartwheels.

you pulled away, gazing up at him, before softly murmuring "you're so pretty."

and then you smiled, walking into you apartment and shutting the door behind you, leaving miguel stunned and with the taste of you lingering on his mouth.

fuck, you were too pretty.

#this is so cheesy im so sorry #atsv #spiderverse #spiderman atsv #atsv drabbles #atsv fluff #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel drabble #miguel spiderman #miguel fluff #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader

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freakbullet · 5 months

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*blasts the senior citizen with my slutification beam*

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fecto-forgo · 7 months

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kirbtober day 9 - anime

escargoon was my favorite when i was a kid

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prettymediocrewizard · 15 days

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#guess who's listening to angsty music and reading fics /(ㄒoㄒ)/#im sorry i looooove cheesy material #im in shambles #what if two men have trouble communicating but love each other despite it #I'm not done with them yet #guriten #fanart #naoki urasawa's monster #wolfgang grimmer #kenzo tenma #grimmer #tenma #drawing #sketch #fanart comic

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capricores · 9 months

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pisces/virgo placements... it's about time you took care of yourself, too, ok?

you burn yourselves out allowing yourself to be pulled by so many people in all different directions. you exhaust all your resources and empty your cup - no, your entire well - to help those around you, even people you don't know. it's such a beautiful thing, and i know you genuinely love helping others, supporting people, seeing them thrive. it's such a beautiful trait! but you constantly end up neglecting yourself, right? you don't realize that you have permission to set aside time to care for you, to cater to your needs for once. you often feel like no one puts a drop in your cup, the favor is never returned - it's exhausting; you might think if you just keep giving your all it will come back; i understand. you will find the people that give the same energy back to you one day, but regardless of whether you've found those people yet, you need to learn to step aside and fill your own cup!

setting boundaries and saying no is the most important thing you will learn to do in this lifetime. it will not be easy for you, sometimes it will feel painful. but you cannot help the world if you're constantly drained and tired! you deserve to take care of yourself in the same way you do for others. be gentle to your kind soul, nourish yourself; do the things you love to do. learn to worry about others less, as hard as it is, and focus on yourself more.

#astrology #luna.txt #pisces #virgo #mutable #ok i love making posts in this style and like the last post i made #i almost didnt make my last post bc i was worried no one would like it #but u all were so nice and received it so well #so i hope this one can resonate too!!!#i luv u <3 #i really really wanna carve out time to post here more!!#im currently working three jobs tho so a little exhausted flkdjfjdlf #also i cannot stop watching anime lately #if any of u have suggestions for stuff that has the vibe of my happy marriage and lvl 999 yamada... pls tell me #i love that cheesy non-stressful romance especially like the yamada 999 anime 😭💖#genshin. anime. work. thats my life lately. and thats ok #omg ive also been watching hidden love and its so cute #i was worried it'd be creepy w/ the age gaps but so far seems ok??#sorry i always end my posts with unrelated rants but anyway<3 #if anyone ever needs to talk abt anime/astro/genshin/cdramas.. i am here #mine

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minghzi · 1 year

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That moment you realized, you still had something to lose. Something important enough that, if it happened again because they wanted to protect you, you could never forgive yourself.

But you're both still alive. You've never felt so weak. And so does he.

#rexshulk #xenoblade 3 #xenoblade chronicles 3 #future redeemed #more old man yaoi #sorry for the cheesy writing but if ur here long enough u know this is the only thing i know how to actually write #hurt comfort confession they have shrex #this is the result of my obsession it brings out the best of me and make my old man body crumble into dust #anyway im so normal abt them #when are they gonna hold hands #rex xenoblade #shulk xenoblade

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ughgoaway · 22 hours

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it is officially my 1 year anniversary of writing and posting my first fic, thus starting this whole tumblr thing! it was technically from my old blog that got deleted, but I still count it because this was the day it all started for me.

I still remember the anxiety of posting my first fic, waking up to see all the love it had recieved over night was so incredible. I might look back on it now and cringe, but I'm thankful for it anyway. and hopefully, over this past year, I have grown and gotten better. But even if I haven't, I've had so much fun doing it.

it might sound cheesy and a little sad to some people, but tumblr has honestly been such a positive force in my life for the past year, perhaps one of the only ones. it has brought me more joy, love, and friendship than I could've ever imagined.

the community I have on here is so close to my heart, and I truly adore all of you. thank you for putting up with me and reading my stuff for a whole year, I appreciate every one of you more than words can say.

I never thought I'd be here this long, and part of me feels like I'm kind of on borrowed time. But I will stay for as long as I'm still passionate about writing, and for as long as y'all are here enjoying it.

anyway, ik this is tumblr, and it's not that serious, but it is to me. thank you all for everything! I love you :)

#booo sentimental ace #this is by uk time btw so for me it is the 28th lol #(this sounds like a goodbye post and it is NOT. im just emo)#sorry ik this is cheesy but i love yall #and this godforsaken app #ace rambles #personal boring stuff!!

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snow-and-saltea · 2 months

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something about titles for stories that sound utterly generic but it ends up being a masterpiece you binge read for two days straight. i love it so much. go read "my in laws are obsessed with me" on webtoon

rambling under the cut; some spoilers but nonspecific and vague

i fkn love so much the show not tell element in this story, it never feels like i'm being spoonfed information by having five speech bubbles in one panel. characters rarely say what they truly think or feel, atmosphere and mood are set solely by composition and art, some of the most heartbreaking and scared ive felt reading this manhwa had NO speech bubbles at all and there was no fancy effects or sfx you'd normally see in comics. the world goes on normally while you see a character in pain, full body wailing with grief at the ache of heartbreak. i teared up and i didnt even know what her voice sounded like, i didnt know what thoughts were going through her mind or the overwhelming bodily sensation of emotional pain that must've wrecked her. the build up of seeing an adaptable, grounded and sometimes cute and awkward person you've gotten to know over 50 ish chapters, only to then see her doubling over in pain and screaming, soundlessly to my ears. one of the most visceral experiences ive had recently.

i don't even care if i sound like im being biased or gassing this manhwa up btw Who Give A Shit bc not me!! i will talk about the things i like about bc i like them!

i love the mc / fl most of all because of how she's such... a neat vessel to the world. not spoiling it about her backstory and disposition and such, but the way she, on paper, sort of fits into that niche of people who don't know how much they matter to people around them. usually in regression / revenge stories with an insecure low self esteem FL, they start out really defensive, angsty / edgy, and then mellow out as they receive love. but our FL is reasonable, even-tempered and logical - that her emotional "insecurity" in regards to being tethered to people around her is mostly rooted in her own "seeing is believing" mentality and understanding, somewhat sympathetically, why people wouldn't / don't like her, and she doesn't really take it to heart.

what's funny is that even when people are subtly showing adoration and love for her, she doesn't know how to take it to heart, and she gets uncomfortable and awkward about it. not in a usually fluffy "this is so moving that i cant respond sensibly" way, the way most loved FLs usually pass by as a marker to Growth, but because it puts her in an awkward situation and she doesn't know what to do about it. she gets a little embarrassed but doesn't overreact, because she probably doesn't realise the depth of their affection and doesn't attribute it to herself directly, but rather by other people's kindness. multiple times she's been surprised at when someone (who didn't before but has now warmed up to her) responds kindly to her inquiries, and while i understand her surprise, it's still funny and a little sad to me that she was prepared to take it in stride if people STILL didn't like her after all the ways she's benefitted them.

in other words pereshati you're my queen and i love you. literally who would not love her. her ease and understanding at being distrusted makes her ironically easier to trust because she doesn't hold anything against you and understand that you need to form your own judgement, even if it doesn't turn out well for her. literally who is doing it like her. queen

#yuu rambles #yuu reads #ougjfhdhfjdhfhfjfj I LOVE THIS MANHWA A LOT. SOMEONE READ IT WITH ME #my in laws are obsessed with me #initially got reading it being like oh wow cheesy ass title but i see it get recommended all the time #and now im like. im so sorry i ever doubted you girl. this is one of the best manhwas ive read this year #granted its only like march but still #SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS MANHWA PLEASE

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crowtechs · 1 year

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imagine stargazing with your f/o. imagine pointing at different stars to try to name them, imagine them pointing out different constellations. imagine you two making your own constellations in the sky, naming it and with its own meaning only you two know.

imagine seeing a shooting star with your f/o whilst you two are stargazing. you ask them to make a wish.

“i already have everything i could ever wish for.” they say to you.

#this is cheesy im sorry #i also love stars #selfship #self ship #selfshipping #self shipping #selfship imagine #selfship imagines #self ship imagine #self ship imagines #selfship community #self ship community #f/o x s/i #f/o x you #f/o x self insert #f/o imagines #f/o imagine

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befuddled-calico-whump · 2 months

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putting one more Cinderglass drabble request in your askbox (i am so sorry for the spam but i’ve been thinking about them nonstop aghfsk). again, feel free to ignore this!

i‘d love to see Sarah help Lex work through a panic attack or a traumatic flashback! maybe either so that he doesn’t have to drown himself in alcohol about it or she’s helping and calming him down while he’s drunk

Wildefire Masterlist

cw: alcoholism, emeto, hallucinations, withdrawals

He'd been sober for thirty seven hours.

Not long at all, really, but it was something, and he was trying, and it was fine.

Well, it was fine for thirty seven hours.

Outright quitting was the only thing Lex dared to do. Trying to just cut back wouldn't work, because what was cutting back? He didn't keep track of how much he drank anymore, he just drank until he felt like it was enough. Even just trying to regulate himself to one a day seemed risky business. Would he be able to stop, once he started?

He didn't want to find out.

Lex didn't tell Sarah, didn't want her saying it was a bad idea or insisting on staying with him. It was a rough ride ahead, and he didn't want to somehow hurt her in the throes of his panic or sickness. He... He didn't want her to see him like that.

So he locked himself in his room, told her not to bother him this week, that he'd be busy. The safehouse was old and decrepit but huge, and his room had a small bathroom attached, something he was doubly grateful for now.

He stocked his room with water bottles. It was impossible not to think of Sarah whenever he looked at their plastic cases now, Sarah staying up until early daylight, because she was worried. That was good. He could use his guilt there as a reminder; a reason to hold out.

He sipped at them and stared at the wall, every light in the room on, the old radio Sarah had gotten for him positioned at the foot of his bed. She'd given him a battered CD case with it, packed full of a few dozen discs. A Guns n Roses album was currently in, playing just loud enough to pull his thoughts.

She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories

By now, Lex was pretty good at doing nothing, letting himself sink into the thankfulness that nothing was being done to him. Even a year after the Tower and weeks free of Uriah, the talent hadn't faded. Day one turned into night, and he didn't dare fall asleep. Just swapped one CD for another and let his mind cling to the lyrics.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time

It was around hour twenty two that the headache started, and it only got worse from there. Not long after that, Lex was clinging to the toilet bowl, heaving up the half-dozen water bottles he'd drank throughout the day, his head swimming, the pit in his stomach insisting couldn't he just do this later? Would it hurt to have one drink, to get rid of this shitty feeling?

No. All or nothing.

He moved the radio to the bed, putting his ear to the speaker, trying to drown out everything else. The album came to an end, and he replaced it with another, as quick as he could without scratching the disc with his stupid metal fingers.

Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile

The girl with the kaleidoscope eyes

Fuck. He just needed to hold out, just for a few days, and this would be over. A little self control, and maybe he could call himself worthy of the people here. Not a loose end. Not an ex-enemy or a liability. Something better.

Lex wrapped the sheets around himself, held the pillow over his head to try and ease the pounding in his skull with the pressure. It didn't help. He almost fell asleep, but the nausea pulled at his stomach and his skin was crawling and too hot, and then he was throwing off the blankets; stripping down to his boxers in an effort to ease the heat.

Exhausted but unable to find sleep, he sat with his back against the cool wall and sipped water, trying to find the lyrics again and hold them.

I don't really want to stop the show

But I thought you might like to know

That the singer's gonna sing a song

And he wants you all to sing along

It didn't help, it wasn't enough. His own body was fighting him, roiling nausea and sickness insisting all he needed was one drink and it could all go away, it could all be okay (fray, gray, stay).

The radio hummed as the CD came to an end, a few seconds passing before the album began again.

What would you think if I sang out of tune?

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

At long last, his own exhaustion was catching up to him, and he dragged himself back onto the bed, the heavy feeling in his chest spreading to his eyes and mind, as the music faded to a buzz and sleep overcame him.

He woke in the Tower.

It was impossible, he knew it was, but the fear seized him all the same, the crushing weight of walls he couldn't escape, the knowledge that this time, there would be no one to free him; this time he was here for good.

And the floor was wrong and Lex knew there was never music, but he fucking knew where he was.

He sat up, wincing at the sharp pain that rang through his skull at the movement, forcing down rising nausea. No one here cared if he was sick, if he was hurt, they'd hurt him more anyway, they'd do what it took to keep him down, keep him in line. He wrapped his arms

(Arms? It's wrong, stop, you aren't---)

around himself, squeezing his torso with a pressure that wasn't comforting. He felt shaky, blurred, weak. Had they drugged him?

(just one drink and this all goes away)

He tried to reach for the techniques he'd used to get through the days, tried to remember the things he'd done to stay sane, to stay alive, but any useful memory fell through his hands like sand, leaving nothing but the shadows, the nightmares (snares, glares, spares).

He knew what happened here, in his cell (hell). He knew what was waiting to spring on him at any moment, what would surely come for him if he let his guard down (drown), if he fell asleep, if he---

"Morning, scum."

Lex froze as the door swung open. Morning? But it was so dark, but it was always dark, the light never hits you here, and when it does there are worse things waiting---

"I knew you'd come crawling back. This is where you belong, it's home."

He could hear the voice clear as day, but couldn't see its owner. It didn't sound like Wade. It almost sounded like...

"Alexei. Did you really think you could hide from me?"

Uriah Fox stood over the bed, a smug smile plastered on his face.

"No," Lex choked out. "Y-you can't--"

"You always knew it would end this way."

(Fray, pray, stray)

He climbed onto the bed, straddling Lex, easily pinning him despite being so much smaller, despite Lex being so much stronger, and he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe---

"Lex."

The pressure in his chest faded, and he gasped for air, squinting into the dim light, unable to make out anything. A hand fell onto his shoulder, giving it a light shake, and he flinched back.

"Sorry."

Sarah? He forced himself to breathe deeply, ease his eyes open. Her silhouette was blurry above him, and it was only then that he realized he was crying.

He brushed the tears away hastily with the back of his hand. "You... You should go," he managed to say.

She sighed. "I'm sorry if I scared you, I just... I heard you... screaming. Not loud or anything, but..." She tapped her earlobe. "Can't get much past these."

He swallowed, trying to push himself into a seated position, but his shoulders shook, his stomach twisting, and he fell back onto the pillow.

"Lex..." She bit her lip. "You could've told me. You know you don't have to do this alone."

He almost laughed out loud at that. What other way was there? It was his body, his choices, his mistakes. He'd drowned himself for too long, hoping it could save him, knowing it never would. He was reaping his rewards. No one else should have to deal with the mess that was him.

"I'm not your problem," he murmured, letting his eyes close again. What could she do, besides be there to fill the silence when music wasn't enough? Besides grounding him and telling him it wasn't real, he wasn't there?

"You're not a problem, Lex," she said, her voice serious. Tired. How late was it? Even trying to be fucking better, he was still screwing up her life.

"I just want you to take care of yourself, okay?" She kicked at an empty water bottle. "Is this the best way? I'm glad you're trying, I am, but don't you think it'll be easier on you if you come downstairs and hang out?"

He didn't want any of them to see him like this. "What good would that do?"

"Distract you, for one. For another, it'll be easier to remember meals. When's the last time you've eaten something?"

He sank further onto the bed, his gut twisting again at the thought of food. "I don't know."

"And have you been drinking anything besides water?"

"No, that's--that's the whole point, I'm not---"

"That's not what I meant. Electrolytes? A protein shake, maybe?"

"No," he answered after a moment.

She dropped her eyes, a grimace tugging at her mouth though she seemed to be trying to hold it back.

"Do you not think I can do this?"

"I think you're punishing yourself," Sarah said. "And I think you should stop."

Was he? His head spun almost too much to think about it. This wasn't self-inflicted punishment, it was cause and effect. It was something he had to get through if he ever wanted to move past the Tower.

"It'll be over soon," he muttered, and he hoped he was right.

She dipped her head, pressing her lips together tightly, and pushed off of the bed, moving to sit cross-legged on the floor.

"Sarah..."

"Look, I don't wanna push your boundaries, but I can't leave you like this. It's not safe."

"It'll get worse from here."

"Which is why I'm staying." She gave him a stern look. "If you want to be alone, I'll leave, but I'll be right outside your door."

Lex clenched his jaw. "I'll be fine."

"You're detoxing. You're already feverish. What if you start seizing up?"

"Then I've already dug my own grave."

"Lex." Her expression darkened. "You can't keep doing this."

"This is the only time--"

"Not this. Self-destructing. You..." She did grimace then, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You keep hurting yourself, and I can't keep watching."

He pressed his cheek further into the pillow, knees drawing to his chest. "Then why do you?" he said. "Why haven't you thrown me out yet?"

The words came out too angry. Accusatory. His own fault. Any filter he had was lessened by the pain in his head and the nausea and the fucking exhaustion. He didn't want her to throw him out, he... he needed her. Not in some bullshit emotional way, but as a reminder that there were still good things. Things worth fighting for, worth living for.

"I'd never throw you out," Sarah said, her expression turning to something that bordered playful. "I like you too much for that, you know. I just..." She exhaled through her nose, pushed soft dark hair over her shoulder. "I want you to try, okay? Can you agree to try to do what's best for yourself? To stop taking the harder path just because?"

Could he? Even if he wanted to? The harder path was what he was used to. Less traveled, less trapped. Suffering for a goal was a habit. Muscle memory.

Would the path to freedom be as clear if there was no pain to pave it?

Still, something in her voice pulled Lex to nod against the pillow. "I'll try."

Her smile shifted to something more genuine. "That's all I'm asking." She began to push herself up. "I'll, uh... I'll be in the hall then. You are eating breakfast in the morning, mister."

"You... You don't have to do that," he started.

"Do what? Bring you food? Or stand guard? I already said I'm not leaving you alone--"

"You don't have to stay in the hall." Lex swallowed (followed), and it took him a second to form the words. "You can stay here. If you... If you want to."

Her expression softened. "Yeah. I do."

She found a spare pillow and blanket in the room's closet and began to settle down on the floor beside him, picking out a new CD to start the music playing again.

While we're on the subject, could we change the subject now

"I'm here if you need me."

"I know." I need you.

It was a paradox. The easier path to recovery, to a clear head, to control being the more difficult one. Because it was untravelled. Because he almost felt he didn't deserve it, that he should bear the punishment for his own vices.

But even if the path was unchartered, he had a guide. For once, he didn't have to walk it alone.

oh, and we carried it all so well

•°•°•

Tag List:

@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing , @bloodinkandashes , @fleur-alise , @whumpy-daydreams , @whumpwillow , @honeycollectswhump , @snakebites-and-ink

#you don't know how long i spent finding lyrics #im not even fully satisfied with the ones i went with because they aren't -perfect- but ive spent too long scrolling through playlists lolo #wildefire #cinderglass #tw alcohol #alcohol whump #emeto #hallucinations #withdrawals #angst #anon #so sorry this took forever #anyway this may be a little cheesy but lex needs some sappiness in his life #I STARTED WRITING THIS IN NOVEMBER HOLY SHIT FSJDBSKKD

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