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whattheheckmidoriya · 6 months

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A Million Tomorrows

Description: Change was inevitable. Levi couldn't deny he felt it coming, nor could he deny the dread pooling his stomach at the thought of tomorrow. You seem to have a way of easing those fears off his shoulders.

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Post-war Levi x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: AOT s4 spoilers, survivor's guilt. Let me know if I've missed something!♡

Author's Note: Hi, my loves!! It's been so long since I've had something to share with y'all, and I'd been working on this piece for a while, so I hope you all enjoy it!

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Something in the air told him change was coming.

It unsettled him, the idea of not knowing what was to come in this new chapter of his life. How could the tides shift and the seasons change so effortlessly while his tortured mind remained in the past? How could he be expected to turn the page when there was still so much he didn't understand?

Levi Ackerman didn't fear many things in life, but change terrified him. He wasn't ready for it, at least he didn't think so. The world's orbit seemed to speed up just enough to leave him behind, alone and abandoned. He couldn't keep up, couldn't keep a steady enough pace to remain one with the times.

He was falling behind and didn't know how to cope with the fact. Humanity's Strongest had withered away the second war was no more and Levi Ackerman didn't know how to pick up the pieces, didn't know how to move on now that he no longer bore a soldier's purpose over his shoulders.

He was nothing but a hopeless man, aimlessly stumbling through this life, yet something bloomed within him now that his nights were spent by your side. Indeed, he was hopeless— hopelessly in love and devastated by the fact. How terrifying, to get lost in the warmth of your touch and seek refuge under your sweet embrace— to slink away from the world to satisfy his greedy desires of basking in your love.

You'd created something in him, something so beautiful it chilled his blood in fear. How exciting; how terrifying.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, the warm painting of an afternoon sky slowly being consumed by the rolling of darkened clouds. Levi sighed, nursing a cup of tea in one hand while the other absent-mindedly traced patterns over the arm of his chair. His healing leg bounced over the wooden porch floors, almost impatiently.

Sitting idly always made him anxious. Though he always appreciated being able to savor his alone time, he often found himself seeking comfort in your presence. He'd picked up little habits that reassured him everything was okay— that you were okay. Holding your hand would subtly turn into his fingers sliding over your wrist, searching for your steady pulse. Caressing your cheeks allowed him to be close enough to feel your breath fanning over his skin, easing his nerves. He shyly started offering to bathe together, taking the opportunity to look over you, easing his mind with the knowledge that the scars on your skin were slowly fading with the passage of time.

The war hadn't taken you from him, yet he feared you'd vanish if he dared look away.

Music streamed from within the house, a melody you had claimed to be your favorite the moment you heard it on the radio. He had to admit, he liked it too, the familiarity of it enough to distract his racing mind. If he listened closely enough, he could make out the sound of your voice softly following the words to the song. The corners of his lips quirked into a tiny smile.

Love had made him soft.

Levi waited for you to join him on the porch, the tea in his hand now lukewarm. He cringed. He never liked the taste of cold tea.

A puff of air rushed past his lips as the sky opened up its gates, allowing for the land to be cleansed with a fresh wave of rain. He hummed nonchalantly. He never cared much for the rain, always despising how his shoes would sink into thick puddles of mud in the aftermath.

What a bother, he thought as a chilling breeze nipped at his skin and tousled his hair.

The former captain perked up at the sound of footsteps, relief pooling his chest. You'd finally decided to join him. As the door swung open, he turned in his chair to greet you but wouldn't get the chance to as you sped past him, leaping off the steps of the porch and into the rain.

A breathy laugh spilled out of your mouth, something beautiful and free."This is so nice!" You beamed, spreading your arms wide as the rain soaked your clothes. Wonder twinkled brilliantly in your eyes, your grin a wild thing that made your lover's chest ache.

He wondered, had your smile always been this big? No, he doesn't think so. Something was different— it felt new. A quick tug to his heartstrings had his mismatched eyes following you attentively. He could feel it in his bones, dripping down his stomach, pooling around his toes. Today's different.

Levi gaped at you, shaking his head. "Get out of the rain," he urged, wheeling his chair close to the porch railing. "You'll get sick."

He remembered having this conversation with you years before, both of you clad in torn uniforms, brandishing green cloaks, and worn-out boots. The scene was all too familiar, but your laughter was now wild, void of shame. Too many were the times he had to usher you back into the barracks, scolding you for being so careless. He could no longer count how many times he'd had to rush out of his office to drag you away from the ruthless downpour of a storm, nearly having to toss you over his shoulder to get you somewhere dry. You always said there was something about the rain that made you feel brand new. He always said you were crazy. But he couldn't say no to you now, not when something devilish and daring lingered in your gaze.

You merely turned to him, sticking out your tongue in retaliation. He scoffed.

Thunder roared a little closer now, and your smile only widened. You hollered in response, and your arms stretched up to the heavens. Oh, how sweet the taste of freedom, so fierce and lively.

"C'mon," Levi called after you, setting down his cup of tea. "It'll only get colder." He could already feel a chill crawling up his spine. Perhaps he should be seeking some towels to wrap you in— some warm blankets, too.

Instead of heeding his wishes, you ran further into the growing storm, your boots splashing into every puddle your feet stumbled upon. Mud splattered onto your ankles, tainting the dress that fell just past your knees. You jumped and twirled, laughter spilling past your lips with a joy so raw it seeped into your lover's ears like a sacred melody.

"Wait," He shouted as lightning struck, his heart pounding in his chest. Flashes of white and blue cut through the sky, their impact booming through the air. "Don't go too far!"

But you couldn't hear him anymore. You danced with the wildflowers, bending to the wind, each stomp and clap in rhythm with the crack of thunder. The drumming of rain kept the pace of your beating heart, so full of life and renewal. The heavens were the musicians and you, their valiant performer.

And Levi couldn't just sit by. No, because as lightning sparked through the heavens and the wind bit his nose with a chill, his heart only ached for you. Mismatched hues followed your every move, a pang of longing knocking on his chest.

Wherever you were, he was never too far behind.

"Damn it," he cursed. There was no time to go searching for his cane, the forsaken thing collecting dust in the back of his closet. With whatever strength he had within him, he latched onto the wooden railing before him and began pulling himself off his chair, his limbs protesting at the effort.

The former captain stumbled down the steps, his footing unsure, uneven. The aches in his leg scurried away as he stood a bit taller. Renewed confidence filled each stride once his feet landed on soppy mud. A new chill settled in his bones, something foreign and exciting.

"Come back!" He shouted, yet found himself going after you before he could think twice, his limp carrying him as best as it could. He felt like a madman chasing after falling stars. "Damn it, wait up!"

As if the wind had carried his voice to you like a sweet melody, you turned, a new giddy feeling tickling your heart as he slowly stumbled towards you. Something electric coursed through your veins, sweet and addicting. You laughed and cheered, kicking up more mud with every hop of excitement. Pride swelled in your chest at the sight of him, your heart threatening to chase after your lover.

A clap of thunder broke through the steady drumming of rain, almost as if urging Levi to keep going— he needed to reach you. His legs moved clumsily, the gap between you growing smaller. His hair stuck to his face in a sloppy mess, his clothes clinging to his healing body. Tints of pink dusted his scarred cheeks, nearly stinging his skin as the wind whispered sweet nothings into his ear. And though his bones whined and protested, the wages of war clear on his skin, he felt stronger than he had in a while.

"I'm coming!" Your voice rang through the air, almost as loudly as the chorus of booming thunder that followed.

And you ran to him.

A tug in his heart propelled him forward until he couldn't anymore. He tripped over his footing, his knee giving out and letting him meet the ground. And for once, he didn't care about the dirt under his nails or the horrendous state his clothing was in. Levi let himself get pulled to the dirt by the wind, his back to the ground. Facing up at the sky, he reveled in how the rain kissed his skin.

He's never felt more free.

How unusual, the feeling bubbling in his chest, a crazed little thing that pulled his lips into a smile. As a kid, he always dreamed of the sun, of feeling its warmth sink into his bones and fill his belly. He nearly laughed. How strange to find comfort in a raging storm.

You came like a dream. The dress hugging your body spread around your legs like a flower in bloom as you plopped down in the mud. Cold hands cupped the sides of his face tenderly, and he instinctively leaned into your touch. Cradling his head, setting it over your lap, you brushed his hair out of the way. Was he aware of how beautiful he was? A smile graced your lips, amusement clear in your eyes as he gaped at you, like a man drunk on stardust and hope.

The storm felt so far away now, though Levi was sure it had grown exponentially. But he couldn't focus on that. No, he was too enraptured by the sight of you to worry about such a thing. You, who kissed his scars each night, mapping them out like uncharted constellations. You, who thought his eyes were the most lovely combination of jewels. You, who now laughed so freely it made his heart stutter. He couldn't be any more in love.

"I love you," he breathed, unsure if you'd heard him. A trembling hand, gentle and cautious, reached up to you, wiping away the mud sprinkled on your cheek. His words came in a choked breath, scarred lips quivering under the weight of such sweet emotion, "I love you so damn much."

Something sweet bloomed in his chest, foreign yet familiar in a way he couldn't quite understand.

Even under the rain, Levi could see the tears swelling in the corners of your eyes, your smile so bright and warm. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. How had he managed to find such love? By no means did the odds ever feel to be in his favor, but perhaps the moon and the stars had conspired on his behalf, shifting the tides so that, at the end of it all, it would be you and him.

It didn't make any sense; there was no way for him to understand it. The mystery of this love was too big, but he stopped questioning things long ago. He stopped believing in coincidences. Some things, no matter how impossible they seemed, were meant to be. Like the way your hand perfectly fits in his or how his name resembles the songs of angels when spoken by your lips.

He never thought this life would ever be kind to him. Levi had only known hardship for so long; he'd learned to wear his grief and anger like a second skin. But the way you smiled at him, the way you held him as if he would shatter under your touch— it all made him think that maybe life had some hidden jewels waiting for him to uncover.

"You make this life a whole lot less shitty," His voice came in a hush, raw and flooding with emotion. Stormy eyes fluttered as you caressed his cheeks so tenderly, so gently he felt his chest tighten in an achingly beautiful way. "Thank you."

You smiled, choking on a tearful laugh. Levi seemed lighter. The sharpness of his eyes had softened with time, his infamous scowl slowly replaced by a small smile. His shoulders sagged, no longer tight under a soldier's promise of bloodshed. His knuckles no longer strained around the hilt of a sword but caressed the apples of your cheeks with sweet reverence.

He wore freedom beautifully.

"My sweet love," you mused, your voice like honey to his wounds, balming over the ghosts of battles past. "Thank you for staying."

A breath, sharp and unsteady, rushed past his lips, his chest caving in under the weight of raw emotion. His eyes widened, something new glossing over them. The man cradled in your touch crumbled, his lips quivering as he surrendered himself to the vastness of your love. A broken cry tore through his chest, his breaths uneven as he hiccuped.

He didn't think himself worthy— never believed it should’ve been him who rose with the sun each morning, basking in the warmth of a life others never had a chance to experience. A man forged by the wages of war had no right to savor the sweetness of this life, to have his wounds cleansed by the downpour of the heavens. Sometimes, his mind would drift off, and he'd wonder what this newfound freedom would've been for you had you not been held back by the prospect of nurturing him back to health. Would you have left? If things were different, would you have parted ways? His stomach overflowed with dread at such thoughts. He sometimes wished he'd been pulled into the cold clutches of eternal slumber, to have been whisked away into an abyss he could never escape from. Maybe then you wouldn't be burdened with the cards he'd been dealt with. Yet through his doubt, through his fears, your voice echoed in his heart, offering tender reassurance.

Thank you for staying. His heart ached, overwhelming him with tears he couldn’t seem to restrain. His scarred hand clung to yours tightly, almost as if your touch alone tethered him to this life. What had you done to him? How could you devastate his heart with such sweet love?

Your eyes softened as he cried. Softly, your free hand worked to brush strands of ink away from his face. The man before you was no longer the deadly soldier many feared; he'd retired his blades long ago. The man before you had been in hiding for far too long, holding himself together for longer than should've been asked of him.

Your lover was gentle and kind, and he feared what the future held. He hated not knowing what the sun would bring with its rising and falling— hated feeling uncertain of what his days would look like. But it all seemed a bit clearer now, a bit less fearsome. Something new glimmered in his eyes as his cries boomed louder than the crack of thunder.

Hope.

Change was in the air. He could feel it in his lungs, feel it in the soft breath that carried your words straight to his heart. It crackled all around him, loud, wild, and full of anticipation. It sent shivers down his spine.

Indeed, change was in the air, and, for once, Levi would beg the heavens for a million tomorrows if it meant he could live them all with you.

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🏷 Levi Ackerman taglist

@leviackermanmyhero245 @violet-19999 @celestair @ms-sin-city @ghostly-haunted @andrastesbeard @ikisstoga @izukus-gf @Bluetima @lemonboi69 @aconstructofamind @imjustasimpxd @notgoodforlife @bubsonnobx @a10vely-yutazen @Just-sana @Loca-raccoon @Hjnhuh @geese-goose18 @figlia-della-luna

#levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #captain levi x reader #captain levi x you #levi attack on titan #aot levi #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman x you #captain levi fanfiction #aot x reader #levi aot #levi x you #captain levi ackerman #o

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24hlevi · 6 months

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— lonely star

cate dunlap (gen v) x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

summary: cate has always been hesitant to trust others, and you're the first person who wasn't afraid of her. but, can this lonely star be able to genuinely trust you?

warnings: language

wc: 2.4 k

yeah im a cate apologist so what?

from the first meeting, you knew what kind of person cate dunlap was. troubled? maybe. traumatized? so was everyone at the school. lonely? definitely. you were the first person to genuinely trust cate without any fear of her powers. at first, she was lost as to how anyone, especially you, would be accepting of who she was.

cate dunlap was a lonely star in the world. thankfully, you showed up to make it better.

“do you ever take those off?” you asked her once, gesturing to the gloves on her hands.

“no,” cate shook her head. “they never come off.”

you tilted your head to the side lightly, watching cate look down at her hands almost with shame in her eyes. you rose from your spot on the chair in the room, walking to sit down next to her with no words spoken. the blonde girl stared with those beautiful eyes you always adored, looking at you confused.

“would you take them off for me?” you asked quietly.

“what?” cate said just as quietly. “i don't think that's a good idea.” she said, nervousness evident in her eyes as she shook her head.

“i trust you, cate,” you told her.

now she looked at you with indecisiveness in her eyes, as if she was debating whether or not to do it. hesitantly, she slowly took off the gloves, immediately balling them into fists as she waited to see what you would do. she didn't know what to expect, but she definitely didn't expect you to carefully grab her hand as if she was made of glass and would break at the slightest touch, the warmth of your hand touching her own made her feel things. things she couldn't explain off the top of her head. it was a nice feeling, one she hadn't felt in a long time.

then, you raised her hand to your lips and placed a gentle kiss on it. when you looked at her again, she had tears in her eyes. holding her hand in yours, your unoccupied hand gently touched her cheek, looking back at her with genuine care and love in your eyes.

“i don't want you to be afraid anymore, cate. at least, around me. i trust you, okay? i know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. just, please don't be afraid around me. because if no one else is, then i’ll be the one person who genuinely believes that you won't hurt me,” you told her in a soft voice.

a few stray tears fell from her eyes at your words, and she was at a loss. she couldn't respond with words, too emotional knowing she would completely break down if she tried. so, she leaned forward closer to you and pressed her lips onto yours. more tears falling when she felt you kiss back, her hands were shaking from so many different things. the fact that you willingly touched her hands without a single ounce of fear, the fact that you trusted her not to hurt you with all your heart, the fact that you were kissing her like she was any other normal kind of girl.

you grabbed ahold of both of her shaking hands, interlocking your fingers with hers and pulling away from the kiss. the two of you stared at each other for some time, until she hugged you so tightly you could barely breathe.

“thank you, for not being afraid of me,” she whispered into your neck.

from that day forward, you were the only person that cate trusted. sure, she might still wear the gloves when around others including you, but when you two were alone she never had them on. she was worried in the beginning that she might accidentally do something, but you reassured her that even if she did, you wouldn't be mad or upset about it. not everyone has full control of their powers. it was understandable. but, she still had her worries and doubts.

there would often be nights spent together in one of each other's dorm, quietly talking to one another and she would again voice her concerns.

“y/n,” cate whispered to you.

“mm? what is it?” you whispered back, looking down at her.

“why do you trust that i won't hurt you?” she asked.

“what?” you said, rolling over onto your side to see her better. “what do you mean?”

cate’s eyes averted downward to the bed when she responded. “i just…want to know why.”

reaching forward, you grabbed one of her hands, feeling her body immediately tense as you intertwined your fingers with hers. “i’ll be honest, i don't really know why. i just have a feeling you won't. i know it's not a very good answer, but it's the truth. you might have hurt people in the past, but i know you wouldn't do it on purpose to me,” you told her.

“i see,” she nodded slowly.

carefully, you wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to you, the two of your faces merely inches away from touching. “i know you have worries about it, cate. but please, don't be scared of it. even if it happens, i won't be upset with you. okay? no one else gets you like i do,” you quietly spoke to her.

“okay,” she nodded again.

a small smile formed on your face and you gave her a quick kiss before pulling her even closer to you. cate rested her head on your chest, listening to your steady heartbeat and holding one of your hands, playing with your fingers a little bit. she then fell asleep shortly after, feeling safe with someone for the first time in a long while.

it was nights like those that cate always remembered. no one else even dared to touch her without the gloves on, and yet, you touched her like she was normal with and without them on. she didn't understand it. why you would be so believing that she wouldn't do it to you even by accident or some random instance. you didn't even have a valid answer as to why, which left the blonde more confused.

cate believed that everyone would hate her for her powers, and the majority did, except for you. you were the only one that didn't think she would hurt. she had her worries about how you would react if she did it to someone else, and you said as long as it was with good intentions, it would be okay with you. then she grew more confused. good intentions. were there ever any good intentions at the school? not really.

cate rarely worried about using her powers on someone other than you. she always made sure there was good enough reasons to back her up, even if it was close to being irredeemable. her explanations as to why she did it were good enough, so she just stuck with those.

slowly, cate let go of her fear of using her powers on you. it hadn't happened in the months you two had been together, so she stopped worrying.

until the day it happened.

cate was having a stressful day, beyond stressful, her day was going terrible and was seemingly only getting worse. she was irritated at everything and everyone, she wanted to just scream and make everything go away. then, you showed up at her dorm room.

after knocking a few times, you walked in the dorm to see cate sitting on her bed with her hands pulling at her hair. you quickly rushed up to her and looked down at her. “cate, baby what's wrong?”

she looked up at the sound of your voice, but the glare sent your way was enough for you to take a step backwards. “leave me alone right now,” she told you.

shaking your head, you sat down next to her. “i’m not leaving until you tell me what's wrong,” you replied. “i just want to help.”

“please y/n just go,” cate sighed, putting her face in her hands that weren't gloved.

“sorry but no,” you said, grabbing one of her hands which made her look at you again. “what's wrong?”

“it's nothing,” she shook her head, pulling her hand away from yours. she could see the way your eyes were saddened at her action, but she was too upset to care at the moment. “i just want to be alone right now.”

“cate,” you said softly. “please let me help.”

“i don't need your help,” she said more aggressively. “what i need is for you to go away.”

“no, i’m not going anywhere,” you told her, grabbing her hand again.

cate stared at you with an angry glare, glancing down at your hands connected with hers and placing her unoccupied one on top of yours. “leave me alone for today.” she told you in a low voice.

the second those words left her mouth, she had realized what she had done. from the moment you stood up without a word, cate tried calling your name to get you to turn around, but it was no use. she fucked up big time. she completely forgot what she was upset about when you closed the door behind you, leaving her alone just like she wanted.

immediately fear and worries flooded cate’s mind. how were you going to feel tomorrow when you were knocked out of it? would you never talk to her again? would you find her just to express your feelings and leave her alone again? she started to freak out. she didn't know what to do, so she just sat in her room and stared at the wall in silence. surely, you would be angry at the reason why she did it, and that she did it at all. she didn't know what she was thinking, she just wanted to be alone from everyone. but, she didn't want to push you away. yet, that's exactly what she did.

the next morning, cate awoke in her same spot she fell asleep in, sitting up on her bed leaving her with a strained neck. she looked around thinking you would be there next to her, only to remember yesterday's events. “oh fuck,” she mumbled to herself.

she quickly left her dorm and went asking everyone if they knew where you were. unfortunately, no one knew. so she was left scurrying through the whole school trying to find you. by the time she gave up and was heading back to her dorm, she found you standing in front of her door for the room.

“y/n!” cate exclaimed, running up to you.

when you turned to face her, she felt her heart drop at your expression. you had new bags under your eyes likely from staying up the night before, your hair was a mess, and you looked at her with a look she was terrified of.

“do you mind if we talk inside?” you asked, getting right to the point.

“that's fine,” cate nodded her head swiftly, opening the door and walking inside with you following behind.

you closed the door behind you and sat down next to her on the bed. she looked down at the ground, playing with the material of her gloves as she anxiously waited for you to speak.

“why did you do it?” you asked her, not even looking at her.

of course that would be the first question you asked. the question she knew you would ask after she realized what she did. cate continued looking at her hands as she answered. “i…just wanted to be left alone. i didn't mean to.”

“do you not want me around anymore?” was your next question.

that one she didn't expect. her head shot up as she looked at you, quickly shaking her head. “no, no no that's not what i want. i was just stressed and needed to be alone.”

you finally turned your head to look at her, and seeing the afraid expression on cate’s face made you release a sigh. “i’m not going to leave you, cate. don't be worried about that. but, i also want you to know that i’ll always be here for you. whenever you need it, i will be here. i don't want you to think that you have to be alone anymore. because you have me. so please, don't push me away. i…love you a lot,” you told her.

cate froze upon hearing the last words you spoke. love? she must have heard you wrong. there was no way someone like you could love someone like her. it didn't work like that. she could feel tears welling in her eyes as her vision became blurry, trying to blink the tears away. “you…love me?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“yes,” you nodded. “i love you more than anyone else, and that's the truth. you're the only one i can tolerate at this fucked up school. every day is like hell here, but, you make it better. even if you don't notice it. you make my life a lot better, cate. so yes, i do love you.” you grabbed her hands and wiped the few tears falling from her eyes.

a short sob escaped from cate’s lips, and you pulled her into your arms, letting her cry into your shoulder. her grip on you was so tight that you couldn't let go even if you wanted to, and for the first time she completely broke down. she thought that no one would love her. her own family didn't anymore, so why should anyone else? she was forced to be alone for so long that she had almost forgotten what it was like for someone to genuinely love her, even after all that she's done. she was starting to believe she didn't need it, the nice feeling of being loved by someone else. but, you came into her life and changed that.

“i love you too,” cate mumbled into your shoulder. “you're the only person i care about in this shitty place.”

“i know,” you nodded, gently kissing the top of her head with one of your hands rubbing her back. “but trust me when i say i won't be leaving anytime soon. i’ll die first before leaving you.”

“let's not manifest that,” cate said, lifting her head from your shoulder. “i don't need you dying on my watch.” she poked your cheek.

“i was kidding,” you chuckled, patting her head. “but i won't leave you, i promise.”

“you better not.”

#gen v #gen v amazon #gen v prime #gen v x reader #cate dunlap #cate dunlap x reader #cate x reader #gen v imagine #gen v scenarios #cate dunlap imagine #cate dunlap scenarios

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belovedmusings · 7 months

Text

Your Cult Leader

18+ Explicit Smut 🚫minors DNI🚫

Cult leader! music producer! Geto x AFAB! popstar! reader loosely inspired by The Idol (just the dynamic between the two, but in this AU Suguru’s not a psycho POS like the guy is in the show, so no gross themes) where they have sex in the studio.

Relevant tags: light dirty talk, oral sex (AFAB! reader receiving) penetrative sex, missionary/mating press, established relationship of sorts (not together but not not together either…you have a situationship with a hot, rich, talented producer/cult leader Suguru so), he uses the term of endearment “love” once, addresses you without the use of “y/n”

Recommended music while reading: One Of The Girls (The Weeknd, Jennie, Lily Rose Depp), A Lesser Man (The Weeknd), and Double Fantasy (The Weeknd, Future)

Read below cut:

“Ugh,” you groan in frustration, hitting the spacebar on the keyboard in front of you to pause the track. Beside you, Suguru shifts to lean on his knuckles, looking at you curiously.

“Hmm? What’s the matter?”

“It’s not sounding right,” you answer, “Something’s off but I can’t quite place it.”

“Mmm,” he hums, sucking in a breath. “Well, you have been at it like this since after lunch. It’s almost midnight now. You haven’t even eaten yet. Maybe you should take a break.”

“No,” you shake your head, “It’s right there, I just…”

Suguru’s hand slides over yours, thumb gently running over your knuckles. “We talked about you overworking yourself. It isn’t good for you or your creativity.”

You look at him and frown. “Suguru, I know you want me to take better care of myself, but—”

“Your body is your temple,” he interrupts you, pushing his chair closer to yours so that they touch. “Didn’t I teach you that? You need to treat it as if it was sacred. It is sacred. Starving yourself and working off of fumes is only going to drive you to burnout.”

His dark eyes hold yours, and that familiar flutter inside your stomach starts up again—Suguru is a beautiful man, and you thought so the minute you met him at that party for your friend’s album release a few months ago. Right now, under the dim, warm lighting of the studio’s LED lights, he looks just as mesmerizing.

His long, dark hair falls in layered tendrils down his shoulders, beside his gauges, framing his face perfectly, making for the perfect precursor for his gentle eyes, perfectly centered nose, and soft lips. His black shirt lays over his muscular chest unbuttoned at the top to show off his collarbones, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into his black slacks, held up by an expensive belt. As always, he just exudes power. It drives a thrill through you that only he is capable of producing.

“Did I lose you in there?” He asks with an amused smile, bringing you back to yourself. You avert your eyes, shaking your head.

“Sorry. Got distracted.”

He’s silent for a moment. “I think I have a way to solve all of your problems.”

You return your gaze to his face just as he moves his touch down to your thigh, bare due to the shorts you elected to wear this morning. His hand is hot, spreading tingles up your spine like he’s firing off every single one of your nerves on purpose.

“What is it?”

“I’ve talked about it before,” he begins, “But creativity comes from the Sacral chakra. You know where it is, right?”

You draw in a breath, starting to realize where he’s going with this. You two have talked about Suguru’s unique beliefs before. He draws from many different religions and philosophies to create what he calls ‘the one true religion’, one he insists would solve all world conflict if everyone just subscribed to it. So far, everything he’s said makes sense to you.

The human body is, as he said, a temple for the soul, a special sort of energy taken from a piece of the Universe so that it can experience itself. There’s a lot of things he’s said, but right now, the important thing is that he believes bodies have energy points where different types of energy can interact with a human and either take away or give to their soul if activated. These energy points are chakra points, taken from Hinduism and Buddhism, the latter being one of Suguru’s favorite philosophies due to how ‘true’ it is.

You remember he said there are seven chakra points. The one for creativity is…

He moves his hand up your thigh slowly, causing you to breathe deeply, palm slinking up your hip to your abdomen just below your navel.

“Right here,” he tells you. “The sacral chakra is the energy point for both creativity and sexual pleasure. Do you know why that is?”

You blink. He had just explained what they are, but not why or how they’re connected. “No. Not exactly.”

“This is where your womb is,” he explains. “You create there, don’t you? If you were to accept someone’s seed, you’d create life. That’s why it’s both.”

You breathe out, starting to feel a little warm. “That…that makes sense.”

“Doesn’t it?” He agrees with a smile. “Now. You’re having trouble figuring out how to create this song, right? What we need to do is stimulate it.”

Ah, you think. That’s his point. You look at him, taking in the relaxed glint of lust in his eyes, and decide to play along. “How do we stimulate the womb?”

“Well, sacral chakra is all things pertaining to sexual pleasure. So if I make you feel good, I’m activating it.”

You nod, biting on the nail of your thumb. “Well…I have no creativity right now. So do your worst.”

A grin spreads across his lips. “My worst? Are you sure?”

Sex with Suguru is always a wild card. You never know what you’re going to get with him. Sometimes he’s sweet and slow, praising you like you’re his personal divine deity, and sometimes he’s railing you within an inch of your life, bent over the nearest surface, filth spilling from his lips.

“Or your best. Whichever you prefer,” you reply, subtly challenging him to take his pick, to chose how to make you fall apart. The control is his to have.

“Mmm,” he smirks. “I like the sound of that.”

Faster than you can comprehend, he’s out of his seat and grabbing you by the hips, hoisting you up and onto the coffee table where your manager and other producers sit during the day, right behind the mixing table.

He has your shorts off in record time, tossed to the floor unimportantly, and his right hand goes right for the apex of your thighs, rubbing his thumb over your underwear-clad sensitive center in teasingly gentle strokes.

You feel every time his nail grazes that spot, the pearl he seems to know how to work as if only he was given the manual to it.

“Suguru,” you breathe, leaning up on your elbows to see him. He smiles softly at you, lazy gaze fixed on your face.

“Relax,” He tells you, “Just focus on my touches.”

You listen, letting yourself lay back all the way. You even close your eyes, hearing him shuffle, keeping his hand on you. It only moves when it hooks at the fabric and pushes it out of the way.

Exposed to the air abruptly, you gasp quietly, but that gets replaced by an even louder gasp as a hot, wet tongue slides right over the neediest part of you.

“Suguru,” you exhale, biting your lip as he does it again, hands bracing your hips to keep you still.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, hot breath fanning over your pelvis. “And you taste good, too.”

Your face gets hot. “Don’t stare. It’s embarrassing.”

“Like I said,” he replies, wetly kissing your mound. “Your body is a temple. And I intend to worship it.”

His face is buried in you in the next instance, licking a fat stripe over you before flicking his tongue rapidly, stimulating all of your nerves at once.

“Suguru,” you gasp. “Oh fuck…”

He slurps lewdly, groaning, swirling his tongue in the way he knows drives you insane.

“Suguru,” you mewl again, arching up. He sucks intently, right hand moving down the inside of your thigh to where wetness has been pooling since he started touching you.

When his finger prods at your folds, you flinch, sensitive to the touch, and he becomes more bold, slipping two inside at once.

“Ah,” you moan loudly, pushing your hips down on his hand. His fingers are long and thick inside of you, curling up and fucking at a focused, teasing pace.

“We should record your sounds,” he states, “I’d use them in a track. Hmm…but then I’d get jealous when other people hear them.”

He adds a third finger, wrapping his lips around your pearl and running his tongue up and down, pulling another ragged moan from your throat.

“You’re mine,” He continues in a pant, coming up for air. “All mine. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you reply without hesitation. This man is all you could ever need. No one else could satisfy you like he can.

“Beautiful,” he breathes, rewarding your loyalty by flicking his tongue again, causing you to tighten around him. He fucks his fingers harder, getting excess slick on the table. You grind down, feeling that coil wind tighter and tighter in your core.

When he flattens his tongue and flutters it over your mound at the same time he curls his fingers up, you’re done for, orgasm hitting you in a dizzying wave of pleasure.

“Suguru, Suguru,” you drawl out, hands threading in his hair as he kisses your puffy apex through the bliss. When he lifts his head, his mouth is covered in your essence, and he looks impossibly fucking hot.

“How do you feel?” He asks, “Feeling inspired yet?”

You blink. Inspired? Who the hell knows. You’re horny as hell and you want this gorgeous man to fuck you so hard you see stars, being one be damned.

“I still feel stuck.”

He feigns a pout of sympathy, raising himself up on his knees.

“We can't have that, now can we?” He asks you, and now that he’s kneeling on his knees, you can see his body clearly. Your eyes draw onto the obvious, big bulge under his belt buckle, and heat surges through you. You want that. Now.

“I need more inspiration.”

He grins, standing up and scooping you up into his arms, stepping around the coffee table to lay you out on the leather sofa behind it. He pulls the waistband of your underwear down your legs, letting them fall to the floor.

You then watch as he undoes his belt, hands working at the buckle expertly to unlatch it. He then pulls it open, not bothering to take it off before he undoes his buttons and zipper, pushing his boxers down far enough to let himself spring free.

The sight of his red, hard cock never ceases to fan the flames of your fire for him, no reservations in your heart as he kneels on the cushion, getting between your willingly spread legs.

He smiles down at you and grabs his member, guiding it to rub against your dripping folds.

“Mmh,” you breathe, grinding against him needily.

“This way, I can transfer some of my creativity to you,” He says, “How does that sound?”

Anything to make him enter you.

You nod, reaching up and grabbing his firm biceps through his shirt.

“Please, Suguru,” you say, “Need it.”

And you don’t mean the creativity.

The man above you grins, letting his tip catch on your entrance and pushing in without hesitation.

He sinks in slowly, letting you feel the stretch of his thick girth, the heat of his bare cock inside of you.

“Fuck,” you curse, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“So tight,” he murmurs, pulling back and thrusting back in languidly, doing it again a few times to get you used to him, a dull ache seating inside you at the sensation. The fact that it hurts a little bit makes your heart beat faster, and you angle your hips up, desperate to give him better access.

He huffs an amused laugh, putting more energy into his movements and speeding up.

“Ah,” you gasp, nails digging into his arms. “Yes, Suguru…”

“Does that feel good?” He asks, slightly winded, and you nod, swallowing thickly.

“So good,” is your response, one of your hands running up the expanse of his shoulder to his neck, up to cup his jaw. He leans into the touch, even turning his head to kiss your palm. It causes you to flutter around him, and he groans at the feeling, picking up his pace even more.

You pull your knees back more towards your chest as best as you can without your hands to help, making room for him to go deeper. It causes his tip to push against your cervix, and it pulls a high-pitched gasp from you.

“That’s it,” he pants, leaning down over you, sliding his hands underneath your arms to grip your shoulders, balancing on his elbows to drive harder into you, hitting that spot every single time he pushes in. “Oh, fuck yes…”

It’s breathy, and the knowledge that you are the one making him lose his composure heightens your euphoria. You look up into his eyes, which are only a few inches from yours now.

He gives you a loose smile. “Getting inspiration?”

You laugh despite yourself. “Yeah…fuck yeah I am…”

“Good,” he grins, “Never hurts to give more, does it?”

You wonder what he means for a mere moment before he stops thrusting for a moment to hike your legs up, hooking your knees on his shoulders and then leaning back down to grab your waist, effectively bending you in half.

“Shit,” you hiss, eyes widening when he starts a grueling pace up. “Suguru!”

“Fuck,” he curses, the slap of your wet skin meeting over and over again bouncing off the sound-treated walls along with your mixed pants to make a song only the two of you can create together.

His dark hair hangs down over your face, hot breaths hitting your skin rhythmically, and he lowers himself fully to kiss you, tongue sliding into your mouth to claim you in yet another way. Your eyes shut to enjoy the sensation of two parts of him inside you, kissing back greedily, fisting your hands in his hair.

He groans lowly when you pull, knowing he likes it, putting more vigor into the way he kisses you, almost like he’s trying to devour your soul.

His hips keep slamming against yours, walls sore with the exertion of having been pushed to the limits. He’s relentless and you think about how you’ll feel him there even tomorrow, and what a welcome thought that is.

You pull harder on his hair and he responds by biting your bottom lip, feeding you a winded groan. The primal scent of your kiss buzzes around in your senses, melding with his heady jasmine cologne, concocting your own personal brand of heroin. You feel him everywhere, and the weight of his firm body covering yours is something you could never recreate without him.

You’re so lost in your own pleasure that you don’t notice his thrusts starting to turn erratic until he breaks the kiss to gasp for air.

“You feel so good,” he pants, “Now I’m inspired.”

That does something to you. This man, who is always at the top of the charts, collaborating with A-list artist after A-list artist is inspired by you, by the sex that you’re giving him. It inflates your ego to a staggering point and you brush his bangs from his eyes, looking deeply into them. A warm feeling spreads through your chest, that familiar danger zone when you’re around Suguru for too long coming into sight once again.

You know he’s off-limits. Between balancing the group he’s leading and his full-time job as a producer, he’s busier than any other man you know, and you aren’t naive enough to delude yourself into thinking he reserves himself solely for you.

He’s a gorgeous man. He’s talented, charismatic, and as a result he has people worshiping the ground he walks on. He can have anyone and everyone he wants, and as a man as powerful as he is, who would he be not to indulge himself? He’s a god among men, and you’ve resigned yourself to being one of his earthly concubines with the self-assurance that you’re among his favorites.

He spends a majority of his free time with you, and when he’s busy he calls when he can. He texts you to ask how you are, makes sure that you stay out of trouble, and he protects you from slimy industry heads ready to take advantage of you. You go to his penthouse so much you’ve started leaving clothes and belongings there, but you know he could switch up at any moment, so you refuse to acknowledge what is trying to burrow its way into your heart when you look at him.

Except, when he smiles so charmingly at you like he is, pupils blown and lips kissed swollen, it’s so hard not to fall for him.

His eyes slide shut and his brows furrow, sucking his lip between his teeth as he concentrates his thrusts to hit that one spot inside of you that has you seeing the cosmos.

“Ah!” You cry, “Suguru, Suguru…”

The pleasure undulates up your body like electric currents, making you over-sensitive. You can feel his big hands holding your waist so tightly you know it’ll bruise, yet another future reminder he was on top of you.

“That’s it,” he praises, “Come on, I know you’re close, love.”

Love.

Your eyes snap open again and he’s back to watching your face with a gentle expression. You want to say something but find your words robbed, an intensifying heat building and building deep at your center.

“Suguru,” you gasp, hands grappling at his shoulders, nails digging into the flesh there for purchase. It won’t stop, your climax approaching faster and faster, and he doubles down on his thrusts, aiming his cock so precisely you think for a moment you might die of pleasure. “Suguru…”

“You’re right there,” he urges, warm baritones lighting you up from the inside, “Come on, come on, show me how good it is…”

It hits you more abruptly than you’re prepared for. Your entire body tenses up and you throw your head back, arching up as you shout his name desperately, “Suguru! Oh my god, Suguru, Suguru…”

You tighten on him and gush around his length, the sensations faltering his pace, and he moans loudly above you, hips stuttering. Then you feel it. A ticklish, warm sensation inside of you, his release spilling right against your cervix as he presses as far as he can go.

“Fuck,” he groans brokenly, rolling his hips languid against yours, burying his nose in your neck and leaving sloppy kisses there. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close, relishing in the sensation of him in and all around you. He’s never finished inside you before—you’ve always had protection. Blearily, you wonder what it means that he has, but you don’t want to bring it up right now. It would just break through the veil of bliss you’re in, and you don’t want to leave it yet.

The two of you stay locked like that until the stiffness of your muscles starts making itself known, and he pushes himself off of you, pulling out carefully. You wince in sensitivity, and he rubs your thigh soothingly. His eyes fix on your entrance, thoroughly used and dripping with your mixed releases.

“Shit,” he breathes, “You look good like this…”

You feel your face heat up, legs closing now that he’s not between them anymore. “We need to clean up.”

He laughs softly, leaning over and grabbing some tissues from the coffee table.

“You’re right. I’ll get to it.”

He painstakingly takes care of you first, wiping up all of the fluids you two exchanged from your body and then the leather couch before taking care of himself, tossing the tissues into the trash can by the door. He bends down and grabs the underwear you had on from the floor, fixing them in his hold to slide you back into them.

“How do you feel?” He asks, sitting beside you as you slowly get to a seated position.

“Thoroughly fucked,” you reply bluntly, and he laughs, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his lap. You curl into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes. “But also…very inspired.”

“Yeah?” He asks, rubbing the outside of your leg gently. “Good.”

You want to stay in his arms for the rest of the night, but you are in the studio to work. So, you summon the willpower to get off of the couch, moving to go back to the desk when he pulls you back down.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks, a playful lilt to his voice.

“To work,” you answer, heart racing as he smiles at you.

“So soon? Let me hold you for a little while.”

You want to ask what it means that he wants to do that with you, but a larger, more prominent part of you wins out, and you don’t say a thing. Like this, you can imagine it means what you want it to, even if it doesn’t.

You settle back in his arms, burying your face into his neck and closing your eyes, content to let him cradle you in his big arms. His scent wraps around you like a blanket, and your heart settles down as you relax.

He presses a kiss to your hair, and you decide that as long as you get to keep having this with him, whatever it is, you are content.

_ _ _

a/n: what's funny is that Suguru isn't even my main jjk guy, I just had a demon come over me and wrote this out.

edit: after I re-read i think i’m gonna make this a series bc i can see drama going down and i want to write it 😈

please do not repost or copy my work, but feel free to reblog and share. hope you enjoyed!

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alessiamalfoyzabini · 15 days

Text

Dark Moon | Chapter Fourteen

Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader

Word Count | 4,5k

Warnings | +18, yandere themes, Stockholm syndrome, fluff, smut, slight panic attack at first, body worship, pussy worship, pussy eating, face riding, fingering, nipples licking, couch fucking, vaginal sex, intense orgasms and devastating emotions, soft yandere Jimin, mentions of ruined childhood

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.

And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.

That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.

He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! 🥰❤️

Hope you are happy with this update! This one is a bit longer than the others! Always let me know your thoughts, you make me very happy ❤️

PS: Forgive me for the mistakes, it was not an easy week for me and I did not have much time 😭❤️

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal, @ajkwww, @ungodlyjoon , @hecateslittlewitchling , @namjoonsbuspass , @darkuni63 , @xicanacorpse , @jiminismine4ever , @btssimpjaneth , @antisocial-mochi267 , @reallygenerouskoala , @velvet-stardust2002 , @angelicsmilesworld

Taglist is open!

Chapter List - Previous - Next

"I finally found you," huffed Seokjin in front of Choi Minhoo, the man had been tied to a wooden chair, only Minho, Seokjin, Jungkook and Namjoon were present in that warehouse. The latter were just waiting for Jin's order to act; they were vibrating with fury.

"Be careful, Jin! My family members won't be happy about this!" he ranted with foam at his mouth, as frightened and rabid as a rat in a trap, Jungkook growled at those words, put his hand to his gun that he faithfully kept in his pocket, but a glance from Seokjin froze him in place.

"Uh, that's scary," put on a fake pout Jin with those beautiful rosy lips of his, "Now I'm going to shit my pants, look."

"Take the piss out of me, they're going to destroy you anyway," he growled, but that only made the man in charge of the Bangtans smile more broadly.

"That slut of a cousin of yours hurt Jimin when he was just a little boy, the result was that her body was dismembered by my dogs, and she was still alive while they ate her, you kidnapped and raped his woman, which amounts to another member of my family now," he began as he walked toward Minho, before grabbing the collar of his torn jacket, "I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces of what you and your damn family break, I will kill you all, child or adult, I will eradicate you from this world as the haughty and arrogant scum that you fucking are," he hissed, tightening his grip so tightly that the tendons in his wrists trembled before he pulled away.

Inhaling before recomposing himself, Namjoon and Jungkook looked at each other with a smirk-that was Jin.

"Jin! Jin! Kim Seokjin, stop!" shouted Minho after him as the man walked away, giving way to his bodyguards, "You said you were interested in politics, right! I can introduce you to the prime minister!" he finally shouted desperately, but Seokjin ignored him expressionlessly.

Neither he nor Jimin would have soiled themselves for such a being. He had deliberately decided not to tell Jimin about Minho's capture, knowing him he would have wanted to kill him with his own hands, but he wanted him to spend more time with Y/N.

He knew that sooner or later Jimin would fall into the arms of a woman he would love with sincere passion, that was what was needed for a troubled soul like his.

They needed to be done with the Choi family forever, all of them.

For days there had been a tense air in the house, Jimin was not there-according to him he had vital research to do-and in his place Taehyung had arrived to keep her company. He did not even use the guest room, preferring the living room sofa to Y/N's dismay.

The living room was her favorite place to read and eat, with Taehyung having conquered that piece of the apartment by now she could always be found hanging around it and disappearing.

Taehyung on his part tiptoed around when she was present, feeling uncomfortable.

He had endangered her with his indifference, plus he had also seen her in an extremely delicate moment, where she was weak and naked in every way.

He always peered at the girl with a pout, undecided how to start a possible conversation, she was not helping him at all in this, she was always so quiet and on her own....

With a snort he saw her head for the kitchen for a snack. He had to do it now.

"Y/N" when he reached her the woman gasped slightly, she had not expected him to come and talk to her, they had ignored each other so peacefully until now, inside she regretted leaving her room.

"Yes?" she huffed slightly, turning away.

At first glance Taehyung looked like a man of integrity, serious and good at his job, but at that moment he was showing his face full of emotion. He seemed nervous about something.

"I ... would like to apologize to you," he said with a note of embarrassment, the girl's eyes widened.

"To me?"

"Yes, it was my fault that they managed to catch you that day. It was my responsibility to control and protect you, I broke my word and for that I apologize" Taehyung bowed respectfully, Y/N was simply stunned.

They had never treated her with that much respect, why now?

Something told her that Jimin's hand was present.

"It's not totally your fault, I attacked your friend and you were reasonably pissed off, I apologize for making you worry about Jimin's condition.... I lost my mind in that instant, I did the only thing I thought was right so I wouldn't suffer anymore," she explained with regret.

"You did what anyone would have done," Taehyung replied, "My anger aside, Jimin was not behaving well with you and you did what you thought was right, that doesn't mean I would allow you to do it again, but I can still understand and yes, it remains my responsibility what happened to you, there won't be a next time."

Y/N nodded a little embarrassed, the determined expression in those languidly slitted eyes put her slightly in awe.

"Um... would you like some strawberry tea? I've made too much for myself," she said turning slightly toward the full teapot, with a small smile Taehyung agreed.

"I love strawberries."

Jimin came home with such a serious look on his face that it made Y/N guess that it was better to turn away from him.

Taehyung had left ten minutes earlier and the idea of being alone with a Jimin in that state unnerved her, she did not want to think that the boy would attack her again for his frustrations, so it was best not to pull the cat's tail too much.

The boy in question noticed the girl's strange attitude, she was moving in a hurry to wash her dishes, she wanted to run to her room and this would have been clear even to the least empathetic person in the world.

"Y/N" the sound of his voice uttering her name so quietly made her freeze suddenly, the water continued to flow in the sink without any more purpose and she did not move to stop it, "Can you come here please?"

She closed her eyes with a soft, inaudible sigh, counted to three before turning away with a slight smile.

She left everything in the sink and turned off the water, then walked over to him who sat at the table staring at her with predatory, glittering eyes, one rings-decorated hand tapped on his thick, muscular thigh, the elastic fabric of his pants wrapped around it beautifully and she found herself swallowing, "Sit here."

She did as she was told and the boy's arms soon wrapped around her at hip level, Jimin buried his head between her neck and shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent.

Y/N felt herself flaring up, the sensation of Jimin's warm breath warmly caressing her made her heart, already swollen with unexpressed emotions, throb.

"Jimin?"

"I've missed you," he repeated the words with which he had returned her the day he found her, Y/N instantly relaxed noticing that Jimin did not mean to hurt her in any way.

"I missed you too," she returned the hug, sinking her face into the soft locks of the man who smiled broadly in response.

"It's been especially stressful to handle things today."

"Are you looking for Minho?"

She asked quietly, not giving away how much even mentioning his name destabilized her, but Jimin knew her well by now; in fact, he sent her a reproachful look.

"Don't ask things you don't want to know, baby," he softly stroked one cheek still marked by a light bruise.

"I just wish you would confide in me, you keep everything inside and then you get sick."

"I won't be sick if you're with me," he replied seriously, peering longingly at her, his eyes lowered to her sugary lips and he closed his eyes, trying to hold himself back.

"Jimin...."

"Y/N." he stopped her by pronouncing her name firmly, "I want to make love to you."

A delicious twinge of pleasure made her intimacy throb, the arms she held tightly around the boy's neck trembled, "Jimin, I don't know if..." she felt so confused.

Fuck, she wanted him. She wanted him with all her heart, but she didn't want to be reminded of Minho, or his henchman hitting her repeatedly as she and Jimin lost themselves in their moment.

"Let's try it," she narrowed her eyes at the man's pleading tone, it was a new side of Jimin she never thought she would see, perhaps he had never begged any woman to fuck, the idea that she was the first one he begged even for a kiss appealed to her, "If anything happens I will stop immediately."

After that reassurance she found herself nodding with soft legs, Jimin kissed her with transport, savoring those sweet lips that tasted of tea and strawberries, fuck, it could become his new favorite taste.

Y/N reciprocated more calmly, trying to keep up with the man's voraciousness that did not just stop at her lips, but sank into her mouth languidly seeking the woman's tongue, gently intertwining in a perfect dance for them.

In a way she found it touching how tender Jimin was in squeezing her hips without hurting her, she had never experienced such intimacy with a man before, she liked it, and she did not want it all to end and go back to the dry old normal.

When they parted a few tears escaped from the young woman's eyes, Jimin stepped back slightly wiping the path they traced along her tender cheeks.

"Should we stop?" he asked sympathetically, but Y/N denied it immediately.

"No, it's just... I liked it, I've never done it like that," she said.

"Like that?"

"So intimate, with someone who loves me" she pulled up with her nose crinkling her eyes.

Jimin's blood froze in his veins, not that he had been a saint, but those words punctuated how much the childhood of the girl he was holding in his arms had sucked.

He kissed her again, feeling in his mouth the salty, lukewarm taste of her small tears that broke his heart, yes, Park Jimin now felt sorry for a past that did not belong to him, but love did that and more, it changed people and Jimin fit perfectly into that category.

He loved her and would get anything that made her sad out of the way, he slid into the neckline of her blouse, kissing every available flap of skin before he himself pulled off every single button that separated him from that body that drove him crazy. From the first time he had seen her, he knew he would desire her every hour of every day, sometimes it hurt so much it was unbearable.

When he freed her from that restraint he found himself face to face with the young woman's bare breasts, he inhaled wordlessly at the sight, god how much he had missed this, even as Minho's now superficial footprints on that divine temple made him growl.

Then he frowned, "Were you bra-less the whole time with Taehyung around?"

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, "It hurt..." she mumbled embarrassedly, referring to the bruises clearly, the bra pressed painfully against them.

Jimin inhaled softly, again bridging the distance between the two of them with yet another kiss of the evening, lulling her gently with his breath, his hand slipped over a rosy little button, teasing its tip, which rose turgidly under Jimin's expert touch, which descended to gently lick the areola before gently biting the tip of the sensitive nipple.

Y/N in response pushed her chest into Jimin's mouth, sighing in sweet waves of desire.

The man pulled away only long enough to effortlessly pick her up and carry her to the sofa in the living room, Y/N held back a surprised sob, and she watched the man's playful smile.

"Will we do it here?" she asked curiously, Jimin chuckled.

"We'll do it everywhere, sweetheart," he sighed, attaching himself to the girl's neck with his mouth, sucking and kissing her soft neck to leave his personal mark; he wanted to remove Minho's presence everywhere from her, "And I'll make you feel sensations you never had a chance to experience."

"Mh..." she squeezed her eyes shut under the weight of Jimin descending lower and lower, marking a glowing trail of wet kisses and bites all along her belly, with his hand he passed the barrier of her panties and barely grazing her pubis he sank his hand into her intimacy, gathering between his fingers a large amount of transparent essence that had already left her throbbing slit. It was the first time he had felt her so soaked for him; it felt like a dream.

"Fuck," he cursed excitedly, quickly slipping off his pants with his free hand, giving his big, hard cock some relief.

He went back to sucking one of her turgid nipples as his fingers began to play between her folds, Y/N moved her hips willingly against his hand, in her mind the only thing present was the idea of Jimin taking her on that couch.

"How do you feel?" he asked blowing hot air on one nipple, Y/N's clit twitched seeking attention.

"It feels good... so good," she whimpered, her thighs trembling, "And I want to feel you inside me, Jimin."

The latter smiled, amazed at the woman's stance, before a more wicked grin furrowed his cheeks.

He leaned closer to the girl's ear before murmuring, "And I'm going to come inside you with my cock and my fingers, soon my cock will be the only thing you'll feel between now and tomorrow, baby doll," he ignored the girl's faster breathing and continued licking her earlobe between his lips, "But first I want you to feel what my tongue can do, I'm going to lick your pussy so well that you'll cry for it," he took off his shirt as well, showing off his well-delineated and strong abs, a deep V went down to below the layer of his boxers that he hastened to carelessly throw on the floor, the sight of his swollen cock already moist with precum made her swallow without any more saliva.

She simply spread her legs for Jimin, but the position reminded her of the one they had forced her into and she stiffened.

"Jimin..." she closed her legs again shaking her head, Jimin immediately reached for her.

"Hey, hey...what's going on, baby?"

"I can't do it like this, I'm sorry" she still couldn't get over her trauma, she was about to have a panic attack and didn't want to disappoint Jimin, but the boy hugged her again.

"There are many ways to do it," he chuckled lightly trying to make her calm down, "Don't feel wrong, you're not."

"R-Really?" she looked at him curiously, wanting to have sex with him, but other than missionary and doggy style she had not tried anything else, ever.

The man nodded, "Give me some space, love."

She did as she was told and saw Jimin lie down in her place, she stood looking at him confused.

"What should I do now?" she asked innocently, Jimin gave her a smug look.

"Sit on my face."

The woman widened her eyes, what was she to do?

"I ... are you serious?"

"Trust me, we'll both like it," he replied biting his full lips, making Y/N's legs tighten.

She sighed slightly and listened to the boy, with some difficulty due to her inexperience she found herself with Jimin's face at the height of her soggy core, she found it incredibly awkward, but that feeling of imprisonment was gone.

From his side Jimin gazed in ecstasy at her wet intimacy, licking his lips he opened her folds with a gentle thrust of his fingers, before leaving a long, slow streak of saliva with his tongue, until he stopped at her swollen and needy clitoris, Y/N widened her eyes and collapsed onto the man who did not complain.

With her nose pressed against the young woman's pubis, she sucked conspicuously on that sweet trembling pearl, Y/N cried out in shock at those strange sensations she had never experienced before, Jimin's soft tongue enveloped her softly, but the pleasure was intense, it was all so terribly beautiful and hard at the same time that she began to shake her hips trying to escape from the continuous strokes of Jimin's fast tongue. The boy seemed to love eating her.

"Fuck, oh... oh! Jimin!" she shrieked breathlessly, the man held her thighs tightly preventing her from escaping, sinking his tongue into her hot and wet entrance, Jimin's eyes rolled back at that sweet taste, he could drink Y/N's essence all his life, she would never be enough for him, his cock trembled releasing thick whitish liquid, he could have easily come that way, his balls throbbing painfully with every moan or scream the girl let out without any more reins.

"Please, please stop!" she cried as she felt something coming, something powerful and devastating.

With the tip of his tongue Jimin again played with the shiny, quivering clitoris, finishing with a light bite that made the young woman stiffen, locking her in the grip of a powerful and strong orgasm, breathtaking in places, her first fucking orgasm.

She began to tremble and weep, no longer even able to bear the gentle caresses of the man adoringly wiping away all her pleasure that had soiled the inside of her thighs down to Jimin's chin.

She rolled to the side clutching her legs and wincing again, Jimin lying on his side wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck and shoulders, gently brushed one thigh and invited her to raise one leg, "That's it, baby girl... let me feel how good I did," he chuckled as he aligned himself with her entrance, lightly pushed the massive tip of his cock already lubricated with his own cum against her ultra-sensitive slit, Y/N gasped slightly with blurred vision, but let him.

Jimin pushed himself into the sublime depths of her pussy with a delighted sigh, tried to be gentle and delicate, but her almost impossible to groove intimacy soon made him lose his mind, the girl's previous orgasm had made her walls more perceptive and consequently also tighter, each thrust was an immense rush of pleasure and stun for the boy, who pounded hard until his swollen balls popped against the girl's sweaty skin, who opened her mouth wide, feeling a stunning mix of enjoyment with a hint of pain that made her lose her mind, pressed her mouth against the back of the couch to keep from screaming, Jimin gasped against her ear.

It was different from all the other times, she was experiencing pleasure, those thrusts were delicious, not painful, Y/N was simply happy.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! You hold me so tight, my love," he sang lost in his daze, his swollen shaft began to quiver and tremble over and over again, he was coming, "Aaahh... Oh, my-! Fuck, Y/N!" he growled her name like a prayer, quickly sank his cock deeper, touching her cervix again and again, causing the woman to tremble wordlessly as she reached for the man's hand to clasp it between hers.

"I'm coming!" he exclaimed without now a breath, the girl nodded.

"Me too, oh God, me too," she replied without any more concern for her moans, Jimin smiled proudly and taking the young woman's chin in his hands he forced her to look at him.

"Open your mouth" he grunted with dark eyes, Y/N obeyed already knowing what was about to happen and accepting it with pleasure, Jimin spit into her oral cavity and before giving her time to swallow he kissed her, mixing their flavors and tongues, that was enough to make the young man's cock throb, whose pleasure exploded in violent spurts of white liquid in the girl's lap, over and over again he pumped himself into her, who came in an orgasm more intense than the previous one, she could not even find the strength to scream, she just stood there taking the man's seed in spasms.

Jimin waited for her to calm down before leaving her with his now soft and satisfied cock, he lay down beside her more comfortably and kissed her many times, wiping her face of tears with his lips and and gifting her affectionate gestures that even he did not know he was capable of.

He was fucking in love with her.

"I have a surprise for you," he murmured in her ear.

Y/N turned to him with a joyful smile, it had been two weeks since that intense and wonderful evening, Jimin had woken her up the next morning with a series of sweet kisses and breakfast in bed, he was so different from the man who had kidnapped her and that helped her fall in love with the boy even more.

"Really?" she asked trying not to appear too excited, Jimin nodded softly.

"Close your eyes," he said, but the girl looked at him suspiciously.

"Is this perhaps another one of your wild sessions that see your mouth eating me, Park Jimin?" she said with a raised eyebrow, Jimin at first had spent so much time telling her that he would never give her pleasure with his mouth, she still could not believe how much the boy liked to use his tongue to fuck her over and over again, he seemed almost obsessed. She obviously did not complain.

Jimin grinned slyly, "That one later, love," he chuckled, confirming the girl's thoughts, but Y/N stopped at that affectionate nickname, he always called her "love".

She smiled with a warmed heart once again and closed her eyes, when Jimin was satisfied he moved on to the next step.

"Now open your hands."

Y/N puffed slightly, but listened to him once more, something very light and rectangular was placed on her palms.

"Open your eyes."

When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in front of an emerald-colored letter. It was beautiful, little gold leaves were drawn around the edge, intertwining, but still she did not understand what the boy was getting at.

"You wrote me a letter?" she laughed softly, but Jimin shook his head.

"Open it..." he said simply, and there Y/N could see all his nervousness.

She looked at it again, opening it slowly and pulling out a parchment-colored wrapper, she unwrapped it too and her breath caught.

She brought a hand to her mouth and sobs immediately escaped her control, Jimin held her by the shoulders to prevent her from falling.

In her hands were two photographs, the first depicted her sister smiling in the arms of a man with western features, it had been taken at a park well lit by green trees and sunlight, she looked so happy and healthy.

In the second she always had a big smile on her face, but in her arms she held a small bundle that she looked at with eyes full of love.

"She's alive," she sobbed against the chest of Jimin, who nodded relieved to have seen no negative reaction.

"Yes, she ... was bought by a wealthy american, he wanted to give her to his son as a birthday present, but he didn't expect that his son would fall in love with her and decide to marry her, she is fine and lacks absolutely nothing, Y/N."

Y/N lifted his flushed gaze into that of the boy, "Thank you, Jimin.... I know you shouldn't have investigated a client, but you did and I thank you," she hugged him as if he was her only pillar of support, which he really was.

But the boy did not look happy, shortly afterwards he sighed.

"There is also another thing in truth."

Y/N broke away slightly.

"I know everything, I know why you ran away from your family, I know why you changed your name, everything."

The woman froze.

She began to shake her head, trying to pull away, but Jimin held her back, "How did you… no, why?" she was lost, why would Jimin do such a thing? She wanted to forget her past!

"How long have you known?"

"Since you disappeared, the last words you said to me… I had to understand, Y/N."

"No! You shouldn't have done-"

"Your uncle met the end he deserved to meet," he said suddenly.

The implication was there, heavy in both their minds.

They looked at each other a few moments, then Jimin hugged her out of the blue.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he began to repeat like a mantra with his lips pressed to her temple, "He won't hurt you anymore, baby," he whispered, Y/N snuggled softly against him.

"Never again?" she made in a tiny little voice, as if the child self was asking for reassurance from the man who had become the center of her world.

"Y/N, I haven't changed," he said, the steel in his eyes confirmed to the girl what she had suspected. Jimin had not changed, he loved her and treated her well, but the killer behind those half-moon eyes that smiled at her was always there, ready to snap at Kim Seokjin's every command, and to tell the truth that realization calmed her, "I made him pay for every single disgusting thing he did to you and I made sure he will never do anything like that to anyone else ever again," he concluded, returning his mind to the moment of capture.

It had not been easy to track him down, it had turned out that he was a loan shark under the command of another Korean Mafia family, that was what got him a lot of money unlike his brother and sister-in-law.

"He played us, he said he was going to help our family," she trembled with her eyes glazed over and grainy, looking at Jimin with sadness and sorrow, "Instead it was just an excuse to..." a gasp of vomit blocked the words in her throat, Jimin brushed a light kiss against her forehead.

"That bastard got the punishment he deserved, now you're with me, that's what's important, okay?" Y/N nodded quickly, seeking comfort in his arms. Little Y/N cried bitterly in the mind of the now adult girl, seeing her mother giving in under her father's pressure, the man feared losing her brother's favor and ending up on the street.

"Do you really love me?"

"More than my own life," Jimin replied immediately, Y/N licked her lips.

"Good, because I love you too, Jimin," she whispered dimly, but the boy heard her anyway, smiling relieved he still cradled her with his chin resting on her head.

"I'll take care of you, I won't let you lack anything," he promised, Y/N closed her eyes letting him carry her to bed like a cute little doll.

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creedslove · 10 months

Text

DESERVE IT - CHAPTER 17

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Things go a lot better than Javier had predicted in Washington, but it's time to leave Colombia behind and go home, at the same time you can't leave Colombia, which makes you take a risky decision

Warnings: angst, sad!Javi, incorrect narcos plot, mentions of masturbation, smut (phone sex hihihi), dirty talk, sad!reader, an old character returns, fluff

A/N: I'm not gonna say much as I'm very tired because I just finished this chapter and I wrote A LOT today, but I loved this chapter, I feel I wrote my heart into this chapter and I hope you besties enjoy it as much as I did

• PART ONE TO SIXTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

5.6k words

"¡Por fin, cayó!"

Javier's heart sank when he heard these words through the TV. It was his fourth or fifth scotch, he had already lost track of it, as there was nothing else to do in that place other than get drunk and worry about what the future held for him. His meeting with the board would be in two days, and Javi had received no other instruction besides a warning not to leave town. He didn't know if he would have to get himself a lawyer, maybe he should have already done it, the interview with Judy Moncada hit like a bomb and the media was pressing the American government which pressed the DEA and it became a vicious circle. It actually came in handy as the investigations around Escobar's location tightened and as far as Javi had heard, they were very close to catching him. He looked around the shady bar he was in and saw a few beautiful women having their drinks. If it were at any other moment of his life, he would approach some of them with his charm and woo them to bed.

But that was before you.

Now, even if he tried picking up a girl on purpose, he wouldn't be able to do it, you had put him under a spell, you were the only one who crossed his mind at all times of the day, your face was the last thing he saw before falling asleep and the first thing to appear when he woke up. His heart raced to think of you, the moments you two spent together, the way you'd smile at him, kiss his lips, how your laughter was his favorite sound in the world - second favorite, as the first one had to be your moans - and the way your face lit up when he proposed to you, how you'd said yes without even thinking and when he officially got on his knees and gave you the ring, you teared up and said yes once again, because that would always be your answer to him.

He also deeply missed your body, he had memorized your curves, your freckles and your weak spots. Night after night he fucked his own fist thinking of you, it wasn't enough, it didn't compare to actually having you there, it offered him such a bittersweet relief because once the bliss of his orgasm faded, he turned to an empty spot in his bed. It lacked your warmth, your smell, your body. He missed holding you, he missed how you'd run your fingers through his hair, how you'd sit on his lap to have breakfast. Even if he wrote to you, called you, heard your voice, it wasn't the same. He could spend hours on the phone talking to you, and it wouldn't be enough, as soon as you hung up the emptiness he felt returned at full intensity.

Javier had never felt like that for any woman, but he felt that for you, he was sure he was under your spell, but he never wanted to break free from it.

However, at that moment Javier's heart was broken; he couldn't believe that after so many years of dedication and hard work he'd missed the capture and killing of the most wanted man in the world. After so much he'd given to the government and to Colombia, he had been forced to watch it from afar, as his entire career was going to be decided by a bunch of suited men who never raised their asses of their comfortable cushioned chairs and taken a look at what the real world of drugs was like.

Javi finished his liquor and paid for it, placing his jacket back on and heading towards the end. He wanted to call you, he wanted to hear your voice and make sure you were alright. That night was just one of those nights where the pang in his chest was too intense, he missed you to the point it felt like his skin burned. Truth to be told, he didn't want to call you over the phone, he wanted to have you there, with him, sharing a bed, sleeping together, kissing and fucking. He craved your presence and your body, but for that moment, a telephone call would be the closest he would get from you. However, he would call you from his hotel room, he wanted privacy to talk to you, he needed the comfort of a bed, a pillow under his head so he could pretend things were okay again. Where he'd close his eyes while you spoke with your sweet, gentle voice and he could pretend you were just a room away from him, taking long in the bathroom for instance, before you would appear wearing nothing but his shirt just for him.

At that moment, there was another call Javier had to make, so he searched his pickets to find some coins he could use in the phone booth. He needed to get a hold of Steve in order to know everything about Pablo's death. He'd seen it through the tv but it was obvious it wasn't the same as witnessing history writing itself. You could offer him some juicy details in a few weeks, once you worked on your reports to send it over to the government, then you'd be organizing your own report, based on the cops' reports and accounts who took part in the mission, just as the necropsy reports too.

All in all, you would have a ton shit of work and you would have to compile probably thousands of pages, to the point Messina would probably have to send over a team of people to help you. Peña knew how stressed you were, about the whole Pablo Escobar and about his own situation as well. He hated that he caused you to stress over what was probably going to happen to him, and if he could, he would abduct you from that chaotic life and take you to his ranch, so you two could get married and live your life in peace. He got lost in his thoughts that were all about you and nearly forgot what he was doing when Steve's voice was heard on the other side of the line.

After Javi had the confirmation he would have to go to Washington, he'd had a conversation with Steve and the two of them apologized to each other and went back to being friends, under the condition imposed by Javier: Murphy would have to take care of you while Javi was gone.

He skipped the usual greetings and went straight for the account of what happened the day they caught Escobar, not sparing any details; he told Javier everything that happened that day until they took the infamous photograph of Escobar's dead body.

The burning feeling of jealousy and envy took over Javi's body even if he fought them as hard as he could, he couldn't believe himself when he felt that, he should be happy, his friend managed to catch Colombia's boogeyman and they probably made things a little bit better to the world, and yet there he was, standing inside of a phone booth sulking like a teenage girl because he couldn't be a part of it. It was pathetic and he felt ridiculous, but he also felt he deserved to be there, he'd given so much of himself to that, and he deserved to have shot Escobar at least once.

"So, how's Y/N doing?" Javi asked after Steve finished narrating his part of the story, after all, you were still the most important thing that lingered on his mind the entire time, he heard Steve's sigh and felt his heart clench.

"You know… she's doing alright, she's strong, she's been working a lot, Connie talks to her everyday and well, she misses you and she's worried, but she knows the two of you need to be patient" he told his friend "and for her sake, I also hope you are keeping your dick in your pants, Javi"

Javier laughed as he could hear the smirk in his friend's voice and ran his thumb over his eyebrow "fuck you Murphy" he said before hanging up.

Javi lit up a cigarette - because he avoided smoking them around you, as he didn't want you to breathe his smoke, but now he was away from you he felt miserable and he figured he deserved at least a puff - and walked back to his hotel.

He was gonna lie in his bed, call you and give zero fucks about how expensive long-distance calls were and pretend he didn't hear your voice breaking while you tried to hold your tears at the same time you pretended you didn't cry whenever you talked about him and the uncertainty of your future together.

•••

Javier licked his lips as he tensely walked through the hallway. He didn't know what was going to happen to him, but he knew it wasn't good. Just two days before, he had called Steve wanting to know everything about Pablo Escobar's death. It'd been a few days since the task force formed by the DEA, CIA and the Colombian police managed to take down the most wanted man in the world.

Even if Javier still felt bitter about it, he was also relieved to see each time he grabbed a newspaper or he tuned into the news channel, the DEA scandal about a long term agent associating with a death squad was replaced by the joy and glory of the US government of having ended the kingdom of terror of Escobar. As he placed his fingers between his tie and his neck, pulling them a little in order to create some space and subdue the feeling of being suffocated, that's all he tried keeping in mind as nervousness flooded through him. He was about to have his life decided, he could be fired, go to jail, go back as if nothing had happened, and the fact he had absolutely no clue which turn his life would take was nerve-wracking.

He was told to get inside the conference room by a very rude secretary and rolled his eyes. She had no idea who she was talking to, he was Javier Peña, former charmer of secretaries. If he hadn't been tamed by a gorgeous girl back in Colombia he would make sure to lean towards her desk and work his charms on her until she was giggling and blushing only to invite her for a few drinks and after fucking her, leave her in bed. Javier was a gentleman and he didn't think doing that to women was alright, but under those circumstances he figured an entitled bitch like that deserved it. He chuckled to himself at the realization you were the only one he would love to invite for some drinks, take to bed but instead of leaving in the morning, he'd make sure to hold you tight the whole night, so he'd wake up with you. It ached to think of the distance between the two of you, so he just sat down and gulped, tense to know what was going to happen.

He nervously tapped his fingers on the table as a group of suited men walked into the room and took the chairs in front of him.

With no introductions or whatsoever, one of the men grabbed a file and read out loud the report about Pablo Escobar's death. It highlighted all the positive enforcement the american government received and how positive it was for their image, Javier breathed heavily and shifted uncomfortably on his seat, staring at the man and having absolutely no clue why he was blabbering about that at all.

"Do I need a lawyer?" He asked and saw as the other members of the board laughed softly.

"Agent Peña, a lawyer is not required for the occasion. You see, morale was hanging low once Miami Herald published that controversial interview, causing us a series of inconveniences, hence why you've been called here. However, as your team managed to catch Escobar, things changed, and we are all willing to forget about your… incident, let's put it that way, with Los Pepes" anyone could see the relief in Javier, as his shoulders immediately relaxed and the tension slowly floated away, he knew it was too soon to celebrate but thing we're going way better than he anticipated.

"Still… after a long conversation with our Ambassador in Colombia, we came to the conclusion you need to take some time off from the dangers of your job, so you are going to be permanently removed from the DEA.."

"Am I being forced to retire or are you trying to kick me out?" Javi asked confused and slightly angry, he didn't like the insinuations they were making. What were they thinking? That he wasn't good enough for his job anymore or that he was getting too old?

"Excuse me, agent Peña…" another member of the board interrupted and glanced at his colleague and then back at him "you shouldn't see this as retirement, it is just a paid leave, a privilege really, and it has the duration of a year, after that you can choose if you'd like to go back to the field, or if you'd prefer to get a desk job, and if you take a liking on the easy life you can officially retire. Don't make a fuss out of it, agent… It is already much better than what would happen if Escobar hadn't been caught. You could be heading to jail instead of getting permanent paid vacation… it's just a small thank you as we all know that off the record, your association with that group was what really enabled our men to catch Escobar"

Before Javier could say anything about it, the men got up and exited the room, leaving him there dumbfounded and too shocked to say the least.

•••

"So technically you are on paid vacation for a whole year?" You asked as you held the phone against your ear and took off your shoes, getting comfortable in bed and watching your reflection in the mirror as you lay comfortably against the mattress. You had been staying in Javi's apartment ever since he had to leave; it just felt like the most logical decision as your own place never really felt like home and by staying at Javi's you felt somewhat closer to him.

"Yeah, that's what it seems like, I still don't know if they'll take my badge and gun, but I guess I won't be using them very much… but enough talking about that, it's good enough I'm not going to jail" he smiled sadly as he tried picturing you on the other side of the line, his body aching for yours at the same time you felt emotional, Javi had already told you everything that happened with details at least twice and you still asked questions just to double check it, even if it was an annoying habit you couldn't help but do it again and again just to make sure it was real and not just a sweet dream, your spent weeks fearing having your fiance taken to jail and now you were so relieved to know he would get paid to stay home. Of course Javier's pride was probably hurt and he felt bad about being removed from the job he dedicated himself to for the past years of his life, but after everything that went on with the hunt of Escobar and Judy Moncada's interview you were more than thankful he was actually being paid not to work. Not only that, but you knew it would do Javi good to be able to step away from the stress, the rush, the violence and the constant danger. You weren't an agent and you didn't work in the field and you felt you were often emotionally exhausted, so you couldn't even imagine how tired Javi must've felt.

"And I'm guessing you can't come back to Colombia… So are you going home?"

"Yeah, the board strongly advised me to avoid Colombia for now, and well, I'm going to Laredo, gonna see pa, check the things on the ranch… and I was hoping you could come? Maybe meet me there?" He suggested and your heart clenched, as you could picture perfectly the puppy look in his eyes as he asked you. You wanted to say yes, you wanted to scream yes to him, you wanted to tell him you would pack your things and fly in the first flight to Texas you could find and then later Steve and Connie could ship the rest of your things.

You wanted to tell him to wait for you at night because you would wear his favorite lingerie and that you could even get married if he wanted to, but instead, you sighed sadly as you felt your eyes watering and you tried your best so your voice wouldn't break and it wouldn't make Javi feel worse than he did before.

"I-I can't. I really want to, I can't wait Javi, sometimes I even dream of being in Laredo with you, even if I haven't been there, but I dream of us, of the family we'll build… but Messina told me it will take us from three to six months to finish the Escobar case paperwork" you said sadly knowing your heart would shatter if you heard the disappointment in his voice.

"It's alright" he said and there it was, the disappointment in his voice. He wasn't sad or angry with you, of course, but it felt like everything and everyone was against the two of you. For once, there was nothing Javier wanted more than to settle down with you and yet, it seemed everyone betted against it. "We will figure something else… I just miss you, cariño and I wish I could be there with you… or even better, I wish you could be here with me" he licked his lips and told you about how he had booked a flight for the next day so he could go back to his hometown and you smiled, trying to entertain yourself and not think of how unfair it was that you and Javi were kept apart like that. You sighed sadly but then you had an idea that could cheer the two of you up, you bit your lips, giggling softly.

"Javi?" You purred onto the phone knowing it certainly would draw his attention "what are you wearing?" You chuckled

"What?" He asked confused at first but getting what you meant almost instantly "what are you trying to do, princesa? ¿Quieres portarte como una puta?"

"Si Javi, siempre para tí" you replied chuckling "well, if you are gonna take too long, then I'll start… I'm wearing your shit, that blue one, you know? I got off shower a while ago and I just put the shirt on… with nothing underneath it"

"Fuck cariño, you are such a tease… you are trying to get into my pants, princesa?" He loved how you chuckled, he could picture your beautiful face, your body and the expectation of his touch.

"You haven't answered me yet, Peña" he could even picture your small frown as you called him by his last name. Javi laughed softly

"Well, I am wearing my jeans and that's all… why? What do you want now, Y/N?"

"Um… I like that Javi… you're holding the phone with your left hand, aren't you? Well, then where is your right hand placed?" Javier stroked his eyebrow with the tip of his thumb as he heard your voice

"It's on my forehead, why?"

"Because I want you to run your hand down your chest, Javi… down your stomach too, and get to your zipper, just as if it was my hand instead of yours, get it?"

Javi felt a spike of lust at your words. You often didn't give him orders, it was usually Javi who took the lead, but for some reason that side of you pleased him, and he gladly obeyed, getting to his zipper and gently tugging the button of his jeans.

"Done cariño… it doesn't compare to your hand, the real deal is way better, but I'm willing to know what else you want"

"Go ahead Javi, mi amor, open your fly… free your cock, I miss it so much" you said "I miss it how big and thick you are Javi, how you would stretch me real good, I miss you cumming inside of me, your hot cum deep inside my womb, how I would convulse and milk you dry, I miss you, te extraño tanto, amor" you whispered "are you hard, Javi?" you earned a grunt as a response "of course you are, you're always hard for me, aren't you Javi? I fucking love it"

"Always hard for you, baby, you're the only one who owns this cock" Javi's submission warmed your core and it made your pussy clench at the thought of him.

"Good Javi, me encanta saber eso" you purred, as he loved when you spoke Spanish to him "now, I want you to rub your thumb over your tip, okay? I bet it's already wet with your pre cum, isn't it?"

"Sí, mi amor" he purred back at you and did as you told him, groaning in pleasure as his tip was so sensitive.

"Good Javi… now I want you to wrap your hand around your cock and rub yourself up and down okay? Can you touch yourself for me, Javi?" He whispered a small yes as he wrapped his hand around himself and fucked his fist for you. He thought of you, your lips, your cunt, your ass, all of it for him, all the times you brought him pleasure and couldn't hold back any longer, he came, making a mess on his hand, his stomach and a little bit on his sheet.

You were so glad to have made him feel good and you two ended the call by exchanging love words. Despite the distance, nothing had changed and you two were going strong, because your love was strong.

•••

Another week had passed and things hadn't changed much for you. For Javi, on the other hand, things had changed a lot. He'd returned to Laredo and made sure to tell you every single part of his adventure, because it was an adventure to him. After being away from home for so many years, he came back as some kind of bizarre local superstar. Everyone he knew - and people he didn't know - stopped him to congratulate him on the services for the country, at the same time old girlfriends stared, glanced, frowned, whispered about him and some even threw their charms.

But your absolutely favorite situation that embarrassed Javier Peña to death: whenever an older woman came over to him and tried setting him up with a daughter, a niece or any other girl he had absolutely no intention of meeting. You always burst out laughing when Javi told you about these occasions, enjoying your amusement at how embarrassing those situations were for him. You would give anything to be there with him, to see how warm people from Laredo were when they saw your boyfriend and it made you proud to see he got the acknowledgement he deserved after working so hard.

You were happy Javi was enjoying his time, apparently his relationship with his dad had improved some, he got to take care of his horses and you couldn't hold back your hormones at the mere thought of Javier as a cowboy. You could bet he looked every bit sexy like that and you often daydreamed about it.

Because daydreaming about Javier was the only thing that made you happy, your job was a real torture, if you weren't happy before while you still had Javi by your side, now there wasn't even what to say about it. And when you got home it was worse, because you were welcomed by loneliness. And then in the morning, you would wake up and start it all over again.

Even when you got dressed, you didn't find joy in anything as everything reminded you of Javi. The clothes you picked, the nail polish you wore, your engagement ring. It was a sweet reminder of your Javi, but also a bitter reminder he was home.

You went to the office feeling bad like you usually did, you just had no will to do anything else, and you often wondered what the fuck you were still doing there.

You were sat at your desk, stress already cooking up your brain as you could feel your headache forming, when someone stood next to you, but you were too distracted to notice.

"Y/N?" You raised your head, shocked to hear that voice addressing you after so long

"Manu?" You said looking at the man, who's smiled at you just like he did when you first met "c-can I help you with anything? I haven't finished the reports yet, but I can assist you"

Manu shook his head and pulled a chair, sitting close to you and taking your hand, watching your engagement ring "I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to talk about you and Javier… listen, I know shit went down between us and there was a time not too long ago I wanted to kill him and probably you too for hurting me" he sighed "but the anger I felt faded… and well, rumor has it Javier Peña proposed to you and judging by the size of this gem, I can tell Colleen was spreading the true story" Manu laughed at the sight of you gritting your teeth to hear about Colleen.

"But Javier isn't here anymore and I can see that you're sadder and sadder, and I don't like seeing you like that, Y/N… I know I shouldn't even care about you anymore, but I still do, and I know your heart belongs to someone else, but I also hate to see your light fading, you aren't happy here, and I also know you've been wanting to quit for a while…" for once this part of the gossip came from Steve, not Colleen, and you really didn't get why Murphy could be such a gossip girl sometimes "so, I just want you to know that I think you should do it, you should quit, hop on a plane and go after your happiness, because that's what I would do… of course I would like your happiness to be here with me, but I know it's Javier… it has always been him and there's no way I can compete with that" Manu offered you a sad smile and knew it was probably the last time he was seeing you, as he was sure you wouldn't be away from Javier for too long.

You felt so touched by Manu's attitude, you didn't expect that from him at all, among all the people, he was the one who had all the reasons in the world to hate you and be glad to see you that upset, and yet, he offered you nothing but kindness to the point it made you feel ashamed and guilty for being such a shitty girlfriend to him, he definitely deserved it better, but as he had said himself, you couldn't be the one to give it to him. Once again you apologized to him for all the heartache you caused, knowing it would probably not gonna be enough, but it made your heart soothed if he knew you at least meant those words.

You leaned in and hugged him, wishing him well because you also had the feeling that would be the last time you'd see him.

The rest of the day wasn't much more than a blur to you: you ran late to your meeting at the embassy because of the chaotic traffic and Messina wasn't pleased about it. She'd been acting like a major bitch, which was odd as most represent of the government were nothing but smiles ever since Escobar was dead, and yet, she acted towards everybody like she could scold them like a fifth grade teacher over absolutely anything. It angered you and it was also one of the no Peña related reasons why you were so unmotivated about your job, and the fact that Manu's words wouldn't leave your mind and you couldn't quite focus on anything other than staring down at your engagement ring and fantasize about leaving everything behind didn't make things anything easy.

"I'm sorry Y/N… did I say something funny?" Messina raised her eyebrow as she angrily addressed to you, snapping you out of your fantasies and making everyone in the room stare

"What?" You replied to her, having no clue what she was actually talking about.

"I wanted to know if you thought I had said something funny while we were revisiting the case because while everybody focused on the reports you were just smiling at yourself, it seems you don't care about your job"

You stared at her for a while as you didn't say anything, letting her words sink and looking around the room, watching as the other people looked at you, everybody looking stressed and miserable while sweating uncomfortably because of the heat and you realized you didn't actually have to put up with that because you didn't actually care about that job and most importantly because you were just a flight away from being happy.

"You're right, I don't care about this job at all, I don't care what page of the report you guys are, I don't care if there's a typo or if you didn't like the final result, in fact, I would like to quit and never come back here" he said throwing your papers onto her desk and walking out the room, feeling the sweet taste of freedom.

The rest of the day went a lot smooth than you thought. You just went back home, packed all your essentials in one big bag and then knocked on Steve's and Connie's door, to let them know you were flying to Texas. They were shocked at first and even thought you were joking, but when they realized you were dead serious, they made sure to assure you they'd take care of your stuff and send them over to you whenever you or Javi needed. Connie hugged you tight and made you promise you would visit, and you just giggled and told her they were already invited to the wedding.

The couple drove you to the airport and after giving you their goodbyes, you boarded on the plane, so happy to know in just a few hours you'd see Javi.

You flew overnight and got to Laredo in the morning, so excited to see Javi. It had been a surprise and if you had told Steve he shouldn't tell Javi where you were going, you didn't want to spoil things.

When you first got to Laredo, you realized you didn't know where Javi's ranch was but you were so exhausted you couldn't even think straight. You realized you needed to sleep through your jetlag and calm down from all the emotional rollercoaster you went through. Not to mention the physical part that made your entire body sore.

You found a small motel just a couple of blocks from the airport and decided to book a room for the day, - because you didn't plan to sleep there through the night - but much to your horror, the moment you placed your head against the pillow you simply passed out and only woke up in the evening.

You were so disoriented you had forgotten for a split second where you were, but you jumped off the bed and went to the bathroom, showering and getting rid of all the sweat and tiredness and changing into one of Javi's favorite summer dresses.

Then, you went to the reception and asked where the Peña ranch was, to which the young woman smiled and explained you the location.

"Forgive me, but I don't think Don Chucho and Javier are there now, tonight's Danny's wedding and pretty much the whole Laredo is gonna be there… I'm going there now myself as my shift has just ended" you nodded at her and remembered that Javi had indeed mentioned something about a wedding that week "but if you'd like, you could come with me? I'll give you a ride"

•••

Javi had just talked to Lorraine and apologized to her again. It had been just a habit he got into over the past decade as guilt still consumed him every time he saw her. It didn't matter how many times she assured him she had forgiven her, he still felt guilty.

He felt guilty because he knew you went through a very similar situation and he could kill the guy who made you go throught that, because he couldn't even imagine someone hurting you like that.

When Lorraine talked about her family, Javi couldn't help but imagine his own, the one he would have with you in the future. He sighed as he got distracted from thinking of a beautiful little girl that looked like you as you had another bread in the oven and wore a golden ring around your finger and went back to his seat. Javi was good to go, but his dad was still eating and he didn't want to rush him.

He distractedly scanned the room and didn't notice when you came from behind, approaching him quietly and placing your delicate hands on his shoulders

"Would you like to dance, Javi?" You asked him, as he turned around feeling slightly mortified watching you stand there, just like he dreamed of for the last couple of weeks.

_____

A/N: I hope you liked it besties, let me know what you think! ❤️

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nightingalestarchaser · 10 months

Text

● Aviditas

Pairings: Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Content Warnings: Yet more terrible rich people doing terrible things, mentions of blood, lust and all that stuff.

A/N: Back in my dream house, playing with these beautiful dolls. Nothing is real, words are a construct. I hope you enjoy, feedback is so appreciated ♡

She will not look.

It drives him crazy, and she enjoys it.

Every detail of her attire for the evening has been chosen purposely, carefully. The dress that exposes her shoulders, reveals just enough cleavage to be alluring and keep her virtuous reputation intact. The way her hair has been elegantly braided back into a bun, with enough left loose to cascade down her back.

She looks elegant, beautiful, graceful and sophisticated. Everything she is supposed to be. And yet she knows that the eyes on her do not see her as those virtues alone.

Especially his eyes.

She feels his gaze burning her skin, searing into her. He sees her to be as beautiful and graceful as everyone else does, but he also sees her as a woman. A desirable, alluring, enticing and enchanting woman. The woman he wants as his own, in his bed or on the dining table in front of everyone gathered, it matters little.

She keeps her head held high, a smile on her lips as she glides across the floor. The men at the table stand for her, watch her approach the seat a servant is pulling out for her.

It's quite sweet how desperate he is for her to see him, she thinks. Such a little puppy, needy for attention. She thanks the servant as they ease her chair forward, keeping her attention elsewhere.

The men sit, conversation begins to flow freely and she still does not look in his direction. Her body is warm under his gaze, she basks in his attention without acknowledgement.

It will be worth it when she does look, and she wants to make it worth her while. Once she looks at him, smiling, scowling, screaming, she will be gone from the table. She will be racing down halls, her skirts bundled up in her hand, the other clutching his. They will not stop until they are alone.

She will tell herself that she will stick to her well laid plans.

She will tease him, make him more desperate than he has ever been, begging for her.

She will have him at her mercy, feel the heat of his desire poring into her body.

She tells herself that is when she will walk away, leave him desperate and alone.

Some lies serve to make the truth even sweeter.

But alas, there is good food, excellent wine and fine company to be enjoyed first, so she will prolong his suffering yet, to extend their imminent ecstasy.

It was not always such, that he would gaze longingly at her while she could focus her gaze elsewhere to tease him. She had grown into the power he had given her, he had yet to grow into the power given to him by blood.

He didn't need to grow, to evolve. Power would be his, the crown would be his, history would record his name regardless of his growth or ability. Why would he change himself when it was not necessary?

Gods, his casual, lazy arrogance infuriated her at times. Could one even be nominated as arrogant without an understanding of their privilege?

It was all so easy for him, as it had always been. From the day he entered the world, his path was clear. A smooth road leading him along a blessed and peaceful life. There was little consequence for his actions, from what she had seen, so why wouldn't he test the boundaries?

That seemed to be his childhood, seeing how far he could stretch one's limits. She had harbored a youthful crush for many years, intrigued as she was by a prince with infinite freedom, who could do as he so pleased.

He never seemed to notice her, unless it was to make some brattish remark, pull her hair, or tease her. She was nothing to him then, just a small, plain girl who barely existed in his orbit. And still she kept the crush, even when she questioned herself for it.

He grew up to be even more of a spoilt brat, and while at times he repulsed her, she never ceased to be drawn to him, to crave just an ounce of his attention. He possessed a confidence that was foreign to her, an air of arrogance and greed surrounded him, but she saw the moments where he could be more. The quiet, rare moments where he would make his brother laugh, or wrap his arm around his sister, devote the time to listen to her.

At 13, she was sent away, a girl still. Her father had promised her to the son of a wealthy Lord, and she was to spend time in her new home.

There were worse places to be than Highgarden, particularly in the warmth of summer. Her new surroundings were beautiful, peaceful, and delicate. The people around her were even more beautiful. She felt like a weed planted among roses.

Her first weeks in the Reach were achingly lonely, she found herself longing for life in the capital, in the keep. She had been given a maid, who, while being polite and obedient and friendly, was ultimately older than her by several years, and did not seem to care for more than her staunchly required duties.

Her betrothed would occasionally take her for walks in the labyrinth surrounding the castle, which she found enjoyable if only as a means to pass time. He was a boy in the process of becoming a man just as she was a girl in the process of becoming a woman. They had perfectly pleasant conversations, though nothing that couldn't also be spoken of with any commoner on the street.

She thought of home often, thought of writing, but knew she had nothing of note to say. He wouldn't have read it anyway.

Several weeks after she first arrived, her first blood arrived in the night. She felt embarrassed to watch her maid uncover it, sitting by the window and looking away.

Word of the event clearly spread, as later that day the sister of her betrothed appeared at her door, a smile and an arm offered to her.

She was a rose in bloom, her future sister-in-law told her. And a rose must be tended to carefully to allow full blossom.

A girl she could no longer be, certain traits were to be taken, but the cloak of girlhood was shed. From that day, her training began.

How to walk, stand, carry herself. How to speak, when to speak, to whom, and what to speak about. What to wear, what to reveal, what to hide, what to tease.

She was not just to be another lovely flower in the garden, she was to be the rose desired to be taken and tended to.

It all seemed to be too much, lacking any real sense of purpose. What was all the work, effort, and pain for if she was only to sit in beautiful gardens sipping tea and discussing tedious affairs with beautiful, vacant roses? It felt as though there was no reward for the work of the transformation.

Until the garden was opened to admirers.

She had attended many grand events in her time, the swell of a gathered crowd was not so unusual to her. But a grand event in Highgarden was not as one would have been back home.

There was much more of an emphasis on beauty, that was what she noticed first. The most exquisite, bright, beautiful flowers covered every surface, lighting up the room and giving it a soft, romantic feel. There were flower petals scattered around wine glasses, sprinkled on plates of food that were more of a work of art than something edible.

Though it was not enough just to have free flowing wine, and mountains of food, everything was considered carefully. The wine perfectly complimented each course of food, poured at the perfect time. There was little chance of hunger, the food was served in abundance, though with purpose. It was not just to display wealth, it was not just to pile meat on tables endlessly, to indulge in gluttony.

Dishes were served, removed, and replaced with something even more beautiful and delicious. Everything was presented carefully, beauty gracing each dish.

Music was a constant, with harps and delicate melodies replacing the lutes and singing she had known. With the music came dancing, endless dancing that she could have watched for hours. Beautiful people moving in perfect unison, skirts swishing the floor, bodies twirling together.

As it transpired, the food, wine, music and dancing were secondary to that which seemed to matter above all.

Roses.

Whispers of who was the most beautiful, the most graceful, the most desirable. She never expected that her name would be among those most whispered about.

No longer was she the plain little girl who teased or ignored.

She had bloomed into a woman of note, at such an age that allowed more time for growth, for use. It frightened and exhilarated her at once, this newfound attention.

These men would not tease her, pull her hair, or push her over. They would approach her gladly, kiss her hand, and admire her beauty.

She tested the limits of her newfound powers, brazen with confidence and overwhelmed with vulnerability. She could say no to the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, only to have an even more beautiful man approach her, ask for her hand in a dance.

In those moments she thought of home, of him. Would he look upon her differently now? Would he still tease her and cast her aside? She felt a thrill when she thought of him seeing her as the woman she had become, and getting her chance to ignore him, cast him aside like he had never meant anything to her.

The only man who seemed disaffected by her transformation was her betrothed. He was not callous, or cruel, rather..indifferent. He was perfectly polite, kind, considered, a gentleman. He did not look at her the way other men did, she had learned what it was to have a man's desire and she did not have the desire of her betrothed.

It was not his fault, nor hers for feeling no desire for him. They were not a suitable match, they could never truly bring one another happiness or their houses a true line.

That was not to say she was satisfied with the arrangement. Part of her training had been to learn the art of seduction - how to seduce, and how to be seduced. How it was to feel truly satisfied, and how to make it appear so she was truly satisfied, such falsehoods could be required. And would be required, for the duration of her married life.

She knew how it felt to have a man look at her with desire. She knew how it felt to have her back arch, her body write under her own touch. While she had not yet had the two connect, she was not willing to go without it. It would be cruel to deny herself, and her betrothed what they both wanted.

She refused to be a rose waiting in the garden for someone to choose her. She chose herself, and she knew what she wanted.

It was quite the scandal. Tragic, but not above whispers. A widow before she could even gain the title. Her betrothed killed not three days before their wedding. It had been a celebratory hunting trip, his last chance for some freedom before undertaking his duties. How she had cried when she was woken in the night, desperately clutching at her maid's arms, begging for it to be a vicious lie.

She was comforted by his family, mourned as the daughter they would not gain. His brother would gain a title, his sisters would gain pity, she would gain her freedom.

Sacrifices were part of life.

Arriving back in the capital was like waking from a vivid dream, coming back to reality. A reality she was more prepared than ever to face.

Gone was the girl, here was the woman.

A woman with desires, with needs, with purpose. And she knew exactly how to claim all of them.

#aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen x reader #hotd #hotd fanfic

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sabo-has-my-heart · 2 months

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Piano Lessons

"!Businessman Sabo x !Noble!fem Reader. Sabo has to work from empty hands to his rich status. When he was still poor, he worked as a music teacher for the nobles. Sabo always hated the nobles who spend their lives wasting moneys. That is until he was hired to teach reader, who is a noble's daughter, to play the piano. Reader likes him a lots. Sabo learns from reader that not all nobles are rotten, and starts to fall for her. However, he denied his feelings since he hated nobles and ended up part way with her after she mastered the piano. Then, about two years later, Sabo earns the status of a wealthy businessman that can level with a nobleman. He usually thinks of reader and fantasize about their love. One time, at a ball, reader found him and talked to him about her crush on him two years ago. Sabo got worked up but also found out she doesn't like him anymore and regret not confessing two years ago. Sabo then starts his journey to flirt with reader until she falls for him again. Ending is for you to decide. To sum up this is a tsundere/mean Sabo that gradually turns into a lovesick Sabo."

Okay, part 1, lol

Part 2, Part 3

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1620

Walking into the bright, opulent entryway, Sabo couldn’t help but think that this was one of, many, reasons as to why he hated these people. Large open rooms that served no purpose but to show off how much money they had. Sparkling white marble floors, elegant wooden walls, and the biggest chandelier he’d seen since he was a child. Completely empty save for a few end tables, vases filled with flowers, and statuettes. Pointless. Hearing the telltale clack of expensive heels on the staircase, Sabo held back his exasperated sigh as he looked up. Unsurprisingly, an older woman dressed in luxurious silk stood at the landing at the top of the second flight of stairs, looking down on him as if he were mere dirt beneath her heel. After a moment, she finished descending the stairs, once more looking him over appraisingly.

“So you’re the boy my husband hired as a piano teacher? Come, I want you to play for me before I entrust my daughter’s lessons to you.” With just those two sentences, Sabo already hated this woman. Judging him on his clothing or what she’d heard from her husband. Skeptical about his skills simply because he wasn’t a rich piano instructor. Maybe he could fool them into thinking he was just ‘so talented that he chose his own students’. It wouldn’t be hard to get a bit more money from them.

Following the woman, he wasn’t surprised to see one of the most beautiful grand pianos sitting in the next room. Undoubtedly worth more than all of his and his brother’s possessions combined and multiplied by 10. Looking over the piano, he had to hold back another sigh. A piano made by the world renowned crafter who made all the expensive grand pianos. Rosewood made up all the wooden parts with wood, fine leather on the piano chair, keys that almost certainly contained ivory and ebony, strings made of some high quality steel that he could probably use as a garotte wire to kill these rich bastards. The list of expensive materials went on and to be honest, it annoyed the hell out of him. Even still, he had a job to do and it was paying a lot more than his usual jobs.

Sitting in front of the piano, he grabbed one of the hardest songs he had sheet music for, thankful that he’d brought it despite his earlier thoughts about not bringing it. Thankfully he didn’t have to finish playing it before the woman interrupted him, having heard enough.

“Fine, fine, you can teach our daughter, but I swear, you’d better not even look at her! She’s my precious daughter and I don’t want someone like you getting the idea that you’re even so much as equal to her.” With that, the woman turned on her heel and left, leaving Sabo to seethe. He might have to cut a wire from the piano once he was finished just to annoy the hell out of them. They might not care about the money it would take to replace it, but it would be nice to inconvenience them in any way possible. It was a few minutes before a young woman walked in. Dressed in nice clothing, though it didn’t look like the silk her mother wore, and hair carefully styled by, probably, a maid whose skills could probably rival that of a stylist.

Taking a deep breath, he prepared for whatever snotty, entitled attitude she’d give him. Reaching him, she stood beside the bench for a moment.

“My mother told me you’re my piano instructor. So where should we start?” your voice was more melodious than he’d expected, not tainted with the arrogant privilege of most nobles. It was… startling. Sabo stood up and offered her the seat.

“We’ll start with the basics, just learning the keys and notes, just the easy things.” he said, pulling out another sheet. It was a ‘my first piano’ book, the first page showing a picture of the keys on the piano and what notes they were as well as a basic line of easy notes. You nodded and looked at the book, listening to the boy closely. Sure enough, he was teaching you some pretty simple things, keeping you to one side of the piano so he wouldn’t overwhelm you while helping you memorize the keys.

It wasn’t long until he was packing his things up. He hadn’t expected this lesson to take long, not wanting to do too much while you were still working on the keys. Closing this bag, he looked up to see you offering the book you’d been using to him.

“Keep it for now. I want you to continue practicing the keys between our lessons. You should have a butler or someone who knows the keys and can help make sure you’re doing it right.” Sabo said, watching as you nodded and put the book back.

“Alright, when is our next lesson?” you asked, giving him a smile. Sabo took a moment to think. Should he wait a while to memorize the keys and practice or should he visit sooner? Would it take you a long time to memorize the right keys and the notes? Maybe you’d barely take any time at all.

“I’ll come back next week to see how you’re doing. We’ll go from there.” Sabo said after a moment as he stood up from backing his bag. Finally, Sabo looked up at you. He’d mostly been focusing on your hands and the piano keys until now. Not because of what your mother said, but so he could make sure you were doing things right. Now that he had gotten a look at you, he couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you were. You were dressed nicely, but the clothes suited you rather than making you look pompous. Your hair that he’d previously thought was carefully styled was tied back and topped with a simple headband so your hair wouldn’t get in your eyes while you learned how to play. It was all clearly nice and worth quite a bit, but it was simple and more understated than your mother’s clothing. Business casual and simplistic, suitable for a stroll through the nearby park but far too nice for the dark alleyways and ramshackle apartments of where he and his brothers lived. Beautiful eyes looked at him with a gentle, kind, cheerfulness and a light smile graced your lips. Simple and elegantly beautiful. It was enough to make his breath catch in his throat for a moment before remembering that you were a noble just like your parents, just like them.

“Then I’ll be sure to practice everyday.” you said, taking the words right out of his mouth.

Sure enough, he was back the following week, surprised by how quickly you’d memorized many of the keys. It was slow and you made frequent mistakes, but it was more than he’d expected. He’d spent the rest of that day’s lesson teaching you more keys and correcting your mistakes before leaving once more. He had to admit, he found your dedication admirable, he doubted most nobles worked this hard, finding their lessons ‘boring’. Another thing he’d been surprised about was how different you were. You weren’t at all like your parents. dedicated instead of lazy, humble rather than arrogant, accepting instead of judgemental, and so very, very kind. You’d even begun to strike up conversations with him. Nothing involving your lessons, just talking about life or his work. You learned that he was going to college and about his brothers. Likewise, he learned about you. How you enjoyed reading over sitting around gossiping, your dedication to anything that you were interested in or tried, and your desire to do more to help others. You’d even begun to show him that there were a couple of nobles that weren’t too bad. Afterall, you existed.

Looking up at Sabo, you waited for him to say something. The lessons had been going on for months now, your skills improving rather quickly. To be honest, part of the reason you’d been improving so quickly was because you wanted to impress him. He was handsome, smart, and caring, how could you not develop a crush on the blond? Likewise, he was starting to fall for you and fast. He didn’t want to admit it, but with each lesson, he found you more and more enchanting until he found himself fully dreaming about you. Not just a simple daydream, but invading his unconscious mind and filling his every moment. The kind of people he claimed to hate, the kind of people who pissed him off and one of them had caught his eye. Not that he would ever admit to caring about you. You were only in his dreams because he was impressed by how quickly you were learning. He was only thinking about you because he was wondering how much money he could squeeze out of your parents for teaching you so much.

Finally, standing outside your front door, he looked at the lavish house that loomed over him. He’d just finished your final lesson, you’d performed a lovely piece for your parents and they’d been rather pleased with his work, receiving a rather large sum of money for his work. It would be the last time he would see you, after this there would be no reason for you to cross paths again, no reason for you to continue seeing each other. A pang ran through his chest. The two of you wouldn’t see each other again, this was it. Part of him wanted to hurry back in, to say something, but he couldn’t, there was no reason to… right?

#one piece #sabo the revolutionary #one piece sabo #op sabo #flame emperor sabo #chief of staff sabo #chief of staff sabo x reader #sabo x reader #flame emperor sabo x reader #sabo the revolutionary x reader

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astrogre · 1 year

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Aspects in astrology

I always felt confused when learning what aspects mean and it felt like people brushed over the explanations of it so I tried to convey the relationship between planets depending on the aspects in great detail using metaphors and imagery. Hopefully this is of usage to you!!

Sextile

The two planets go well together, match well together imagine when you mix paint together and it just swirls smoothly to create a beautiful and perfect shade. The two planets just easily compliment each other to make their own colour, imagine these two planets birthing a baby it would be a mix of their two qualities.

Examples in signs:

water nourishes the Earth and results in the plants growing 💦🪴

Air fuels fire oxygen causing the fire to grow💨🔥

Example in planets:

Moon sextile Uranus shows indication of artistic talent because of the unique way of how the native expresses themselves. If they put this in creative pursuits they would shock many.

ASTROLOGICAL BREAKDOWN:

Moon= emotions, inner world

Sextile= MIX

Uranus= innovation, eccentricity

Moon*Uranus= revolutionary art being created especially when natives emotions are at their peak

Trine

No resistance when these two planets merge it all feels so natural and they easily result in creating opportunities together. Think of the two placements observing each other and making a sigma face to the other, kind of like “nice 😎”. Both planets are comfortable with each other you could even imagine them being able to sit in silence and it’s not awkward, to each other they are the friend who visits home so often that they’re basically seen as their cousin. The two placements see each other and don’t mind the other’s presence. Imagine a rain water droplet falling into a lake, it may not be the exact same components as the rest of the lake water but it is accepted and collectively moves together, combined as one. This is how these two planets interact with one another accepting each other similarly.

Conjunct

These two planets/asteroids add fuel to each others fire, a fusion and Union of the two placements. imagine when you say a joke and your friend adds something onto it and then you add something onto it and this happens over and over again until both your chests hurt from laughing so hard. These planets bounce off each other and make each other work together arm in arm with a shared purpose. The closer these planets/asteroids are in degrees, the stronger and more they amplify each other

How the conjunct planets behave together:

Eg. Sun conj Mercury you shine most when you communicate, people want to hear what you say, you command presence in a room when you talk, general talent in communicating. You’re also smart as hell, might even have a big ego because of your intelligence ;)

Opposition

Tug of war, both planets/asteroids believe they deserve control over the other but remember -if you pull the rope too tight it will snap, meaning the opposing placements can end up cancelling out one another and never manifesting into reality to its full potential since neither one of them can take control because the other is pushing them back. Imagine a hectic musical chair game where neither person is able to let the other win no matter how close they get to sitting on the chair. This is how the two planets interact with each other

Eg. Sun-Moon can indicate harder to be in touch with emotions because of ego in the way, Saturn-Mars can create issues with discipline to follow passionate pursuits, being negligent of responsibility and having A LOT of suppressed energy that you want to come out.

But with oppositions there are pros. Since the two placements are fighting for control over each other, you as an individual can consciously make a decision to which energy you declare as the winner. For an example if you had a Saturn-Mars opposition, do you choose your burning passions or your strong sense of duty? Oppositions aren’t all bad, you have the important bit, the ability to use that planets energy. The planets energies are active in your chart it’s just that they’re so intense that they’re both fighting for the stage.

Generic sign opposition dynamics:

Aries and Libra = War and peace

Taurus and Scorpio= Light and dark

Gemini and Sagis = Tension and release

Cancer and Capricorn= Intuition and logic

Leo and Aquarius= Loyalty and rebellion

Virgo and Pisces= Science and Art

Square

Challenging, imagine these two planets negotiating and talking out their problems for an example the way you may approach someone who has offended you and the other person sees themselves done nothing wrong until you talk it out and make steps together to overcome it. This can be successful if both end up compromising and are willing to understand each other but it can be chaotic if one side is non willing compromise. Imagine these planets interact with each-other like an employee in an office trying to negotiate shifts with the boss of their department, there are two outcomes and both need each other, the planets either agree to work with each other on equal terms and for a similar goal (eg I’ll go up the stairs because it’s quicker, and the other says I’ll go up the stairs because I want to loose calories) or they end up not working with each other at all but can’t escape each other building tension. This is a lot softer than the opposition aspect because the planets are more willing to at least hear each other out and don’t have COMPLETELY opposing motivations

The way this is overcome is by the native (you) acknowledging the strengths and requirements that the two placements bring and using it to your advantage.

Eg. Someone with Mars square Jupiter can use the fact they have a square to understand that they have great potential and energy to achieve their dreams & goals they set by balancing it with taking action and brainstorming instead of constantly fighting with themselves about whether they should brainstorm more or take action straight away. It can work if you are conscious of this energy of these planets and you can listen to the planets driving force and be like “maybe I should listen go with the part of me that wants to take action today” while giving leeway and comprises to the other opposing planet/asteroid.

Finallyyy to your relief if you have many of these aspects, Squares and opposition are better than no aspects at all! It shows you have potential energy in the aspected planets. If there are no aspects at all that means you have to FORCE this energy between two placements out of nowhere, for an example In synastry a lack of aspects can be like running out of things to talk about, forcing things to work but there’s not much there between you two whereas when there’s a square there’s a spark even though it’s challenging it can result in some form of a peace treaty or harmony. So be grateful for all placements of all kinds they have their pros.

#astro notes #sun aspects #astro placements #astrology #astro aspects #learning astrology #astrology observations #sextile #conjunct #trine #opposition #square

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fischltao · 2 years

Text

Two Birds (Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader)

plot: the jujutsu world welcomes back nanami kento

warnings: SMUT, 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, hurt, swearing, dry humping, swearing, nanami leaves

notes: this took three days and it still sucks yaur

the class had been incredibly loud for her taste as all one could hear was haibara's constant chattering with the upper classmen of jujutsu high. every single sound had been periodically adding up to y/n y/l/n's excruciating headache, plus bitterness, that not even the image of kento nanami in the seat right next to her could lighten up.

y/n y/l/n, the adoptive younger sibling of heaven's chosen one, gojo satoru. as far as she could remember, he had always been in the picture, the two attached by the hip and yet, if asked, noone would have been able to pin point a single similarity that could connect the two as siblings. while satoru was loud, giggly and flirty she was closed off, reserved and strict to herself and those around her.

gojo was the strongest and right after him was y/n. one would have guessed the opposite when introduced to the siblings based on the way each carried themselves, especially the rest of the student body. ieiri utahime had never understood how this menace of a man could surpass y/n in strength when she could be simply walking into a room and having everyone present fear for their lives. even in front of her brother, y/n would always remain closed off and quiet.

only one person had truly seen behind her facade in her entire life and even though it's not like she wanted it to happen, it was just so easy with the way kento nanami looked at her with those beautiful eyes that could easily pierce behind that mask she holding on to for dear life.

you see y/n y/l/n wasn't actually blank, mean and uninterested. she was warm, so warm and kind and had so many things she could talk about for days to no end.

and nanami kento had always been there to listen.

"i'm tired" she mumbled, letting her eyes drift down on her notebook. the words were becoming harder to read by each passing second "are you tired, kento?"

"i slept for a few hours at night but nothing much, could use ten minutes to rest my eyes" kento replied , focusing his attention on his friend, leaning back against the chair. the thing with kento is that he could almost immediately tell when y/n had been overworked when she looked perfectly normal to an untrained eye. he understood her like no other person

"yeah ten minutes sound great"

"when was the last time you slept?"

"oh like, i didnt sleep last night because i had to train and i think i took a small nap the day before, a day at most i would say" she noticed his eyes widening "what?"

"we've talked about this before. you should take more care of yourself"

"no yeah, it's just, i need to be there for my brother and i just cant catch myself being less than enough to protect him when there's a need" and kento hated that. he hated so much how she had been basically raised to sacrifice herself for satoru. it was as if she didn't have a life of her own to live. like her sole purpose of living was gojo's wellbeing. for kento, that was what would be the death of y/n y/l/n "i know you dont like this but theres nothing else i can do"

"i hate it" he whispered back "we should leave"

"leave? class isn't over-"

"i mean it as in leave the jujutsu world behind. go to college and have normal jobs. be normal" looking back at y/n, she looked as if she was about to burst out in laughter, even almost offended that he even had to mention it. it might have been true,being a jujutsu sorcerer wasn't even her dream yet again she couldn't be able to imagine herself doing something else in life. she was born and raised for this "we can live together and-and" the next was almost incoherent, the way he whispered it unded his breath, accompanied by a sigh "and start a family"

"you're funny kento"

and even thought he knew her like the back of his hand, they were two worlds apart.

the first time he kissed her he felt guilty. he felt guilty to have her soft lips on his, being oh so sweet for him and only him. he felt guilty for diving right into her world and salvaging to the pleasure that being called mine by y/n y/l/n was because

because he was leaving soon.

the jujutsu world wasn't meant for him,he concluded, after haibara's death. he couldn't just sit and watch the ones closest to him lose their lives in the worst possible ways one could imagine and he knew they would never follow into that.

he had wanted to stay for her and yet he still knew he couldn't bare to watch her kill herself more and more each day passing by.

that's why he had to leave first. because he knew him walking out would be easier than watching y/n have her guts ripped apart for the sake of gojo satoru.

"you're leaving aren't you? i expected you to at least say goodbye to me" she spoke ever so softly as she always did to him, sitting on the window sill, rocking back and forth before standing up and walking towards kento, who looked surprised, not expecting to run straight into y/n during his escapee plan

"you wouldn't understand" he rushed "i have explained it so many times-"

"go kento" he stopped, taken aback by her coldness.

for the first time in forever,y/n had looked at him the way she looked at everyone else and right then and there, he knew that this was his cue to leave.

because he had just witnessed y/n y/l/n's death.

many years had passed and kento had found himself changing just like the numbers of the years. he looked almost nothing like the boy who left the jujutsu life to chase after a normal, easy life and still, it wasn't as easy and as he had hoped it to be. it was too normal for him. bills,work, overtime,money, work so much work. from time to time he wondered if he had made the right choice leaving and if he did go back, would it still be another bad choice.

kento nanami was drowning in regrets

he wondered how y/n would look at him if he returned. would she look at them with soft eyes or that cold stare he got the night he left.

on multiple occasions he had tried to move on, start a family, however, he couldn't even go past a good fuck,doing what he knew best, leaving. he despised the idea that he had been touched by someone that was not y/n, that he felt the intimate warmth of someone else than the love of his life. he would push off the women and run to wash off any remnants of those who weren't y/n y/l/n. it was sick in his mind how even after all these years she was still there in his mind, lying on a bed naked waiting for him and only him to indulge her. he often wondered, if they thought of him too.

so he drowned himself in work. always going overtime so that he didnt have the time to think about her.

and it just it didn't work.

"nanamin! we're gonna have so much fun together we're gonna be work buddies!" at least gojo hadn't seemed to change during all those years,the strongest man alive with a few screws, scratch that every screw possible loose. its almost as if time had stopped the moment he stepped out of that school and resumed when he stepped back in "oh we should surprise y/n/n shes going to die" god no

"please do not refer to me as that" he sighed rubbing his temples at the childish antics of his senpai who seemingly reeked of excitement "i am pretty sure y/n-san would not appreciate seeing me here after so many years with no contact, it would be preferable sending me on missions without her knowledge on my return"

"oh no nanamin" gojo exclaimed, taking a bite out of his mochi that he made one of his students bring him "behind you"

shit

"brother we have agreed that you are more professional on the recruitments, you are being too eager and everyone takes sorcery lightly until they end up with half their skull eaten by curses-" they scoffed "that or they end up leaving"

"y/n" he greeted holding out his hand for her and it wasnt till then that he took a full glimpse of what they looked like after all these years and in his eyes y/n y/l/n looked the most beautiful thing he had laid his eyes on still.

she had also changed. their high school uniform didn't resemble what they would be wearing at the moment which added to their maturity and energy she was trying to pull off. a white button down tucked into some black high waisted work pants. it was a simple outfit that didn't do a bad job showing off their figure. other than that she looked the same, except from her eyes that now held a tired glimpse.

it's almost as if she hadn't slept ever since that night.

"nanami kento. my brother informed me you were re-entering the jujutsu world" she greeted, holding on to that mask as tight as possible as showing any signs of emotion would reveal weakness, lack of strength.

letting go of it would reveal that she still loved him. that the pain never left. it subsided to a simmering fire scorching her insides until she saw him again after all these years and it was as if he was leaking gasoline into that simmer. for the first time she wanted to scream and ask him why in the hell would he be back after all this time. but all that she really did was keep a monotone voice and carry on with the conversation.

"i'm glad to see you again, y/n, i deeply apologize for-"

"you've changed"

"excuse me?"

"you've changed"

"oh-uhm yes. it was needed for my environment. going to work in economic department with a fringe isn't really a look my bosses would take seriously" he eyed gojo who was just curiously peaking into the conversation whilst indulging his snacks "you've changed too"

"i suppose. i shall get going, i have a tight scedule-"

"i can walk you outside,if youd like me too" he suggested and awaited for her reaction. to a stranger's eyes she had looked the same but he was the one to tell that she was starting to get irritated, he knew her well enough to know the slightest shift in her behavior which would always give her true feelings away. it was almost like a game; how long until her mask falls

"i am fine, i appreciate your offer nanami san" y/n replied sternly, turning on herbheel to head for the door until she felt a hand grasp on her wrist "do you need something?" she really needed him and it was solid proof that if it was anyone elses touch she had felt she would blast them across room. yet it was kento's, kento who remained hers to call even after all these years

"please let me just-"

"back away, nanami, please" she replied sternly, not daring to look at him or her brother.

the mask was crumbled up and the pieces had shattered to the ground.

"i need to apologize for the way i left, i am sorry, if i knew it was going to be like that i would've never left"

"you dont get to fucking say that" she snapped "you dont get to come back after all these years and say this shit as if you couldn't come and see me those all these years" truth be told, gojo was terrified watching the scene unfold. never in his life had he seen his beloved sister act like this and it was breaking his heart noticing the hot tears streaming down y/n's face. it was time for him to leave and let the former pair talk it out "i know what you did, and it wasn't fucking fair. i waited years for you to come back and all that you did was fuck other women as i fucking waited for you"

she wasnt even wrong. nanami could've but he didn't and that alone had been his biggest regret in life.

and it wasnt leaving the sorcery world.

it was leaving her and not looking back. it was screwing other women that resembled her in the slightest only to find a glimpse of what it could've been and still nothing even came close to the greatness that y/n y/l/n was.

"you're being fucking mean to me, kento" kento "you come back after all these years and i don't know what the fuck to do" she took a deep breath in a silly attempt to regain control herself and look as composed as possible "you won't be seeing me much, don't expect anything-"

"it never left"

"what didn't?"

"that ache it never left" she looked at him puzzled and confuded "the ache that is loving you. after all these years"

"you're just going to leave again, it's no use of speaking empty promises and reusing conversations-" god was she fucking stubborn "why are you looking at me like that?"

nanami kento was smiling

"you're rambling"

"no i wasn't? i was just stating facts, i don't get how this could funny to you"

"you were, you still do" and for the moment it was like the earth had ceased all movement only for them and for once in years, y/n had felt the jigsaw fall back into place.

it could have been his soft smile that did it for her or maybe, his voice who was still as magnetizing as it used to be during their prebubescent years, if not even better now that he had grown and matured even more. her perfect boy had grown into the perfect man, she had found herself wondering without even trying to.

she didn't even have to try falling back in love with him because in fact, she never stopped doing so in the first place. sure, she had been angry and mad and had tried to not justify his behavior, yet she always found herself spiraling back, awaiting for the day he would return. and she knew that he would either come back or she'd have to hear from someone else that he could have gotten married to another woman, someone he would call the love of his life that wasn't her and had little nanamis running around a nice apartment in the city of tokyo. but he didn't. he came back to her.

she felt selfish. selfish because she wouldnt be able to give him what he wanted. from the day she had been born and adopted by the gojo clan she had been trained for one and only thing. protecting gojo satoru to the death, something satoru had tried to stop since he loved his sister to death and knew she deserved a good life.

but nanami didn't want a family if she wasn't a part of it. he didnt want little nanamis that had another woman's face. he didnt want to call another woman the love of his life,simply because the love of his life was her, his one and only.

for the first time in years she felt herself turn into a coward, a very un-y/n trait one would say.

"why did you come back?" and part of her hoped that he would say that it was for her. that he was back for her and only her. she watched as he stared deep into her eyes, calculating on whats the best thing to reply as she held her breath and bit her tongue.

"i cant say that i came for you because it would've been selfish of me to do so. i caused you pain and i left you here" god if only a hole would open in the ground and swallow her whole "but i wouldve been a damn fucking liar if i didnt"

fuck you nanami kento, she thought as she smiled softly to herself, not realizing how much time has passed without her saying anything, him taking her silence for rejection

"i wont bother you again, i promise" he continued, sighing heavily, before heading for the door as she snapped back to reality and suddenly, she had him pushed against the door and smashed her lips against his in a fervent kiss.

it wasn't long until he was the one now pushing her against the door, holding her firmly against place and absolutely ravishing her mouth with his tongue.

the kiss had been fast paced and desperate. both had been yearning for this kiss for years and finally, each other's lips had found their righteous place against each other's and they never wanted to be apart again. they were made for each other and with them sealing the love with the kiss, the jigsaw that had fallen into place earlier now seemed to be a perfect fit

"fuck baby" she whined in between kisses as he grinded his hips against hers.

they wanted to absolutely tear each other apart, it had been far too long without each other, both touch starved and in pain of being this far away for so long "fuck keep going"

"yeah?" he whispered back in a low growl, tongue hot against the skin of her neck as he rolled his hips against her, rubbing his clothed cock right into her pussy while his hands roamed all around her body,never staying in one place, needing to feel all of her. upon hearing her whimper back a small yeah in between moans and whines his resolve dissolved even more and more. he hadnt even touched her and yet she was falling apart right there in his arms just by having his cock rub against her through layers of clothing, and to her it felt like absolute heaven. "my girl is feeling good? so so good for me"

"k-kento i-" she moaned " i-i cant, fuck fuck fuck" it was one thing to see the y/n y/l/n from the gojo clan fall apart this hard. the cold and stoic female, going insane on her reunited lover's cock that hadn't even entered her, if she would've been able to think she would've been sure that her ability to speak had been long forgotten.

and as he grabbed and spread her ass cheeks, pushing himself more and more against her she came. she came so fucking hard she sworn she had seen stars. it was as if the world had collapsed right then and there and the amount of pleasure had brought tears to her eyes which soon turned into full blown sobs.

out of all people on earth only nanami kento had the pleasure to witness y/n y/l/n fall apart

"its okay honey, sh, im here now, ive got u baby" he cooed, bringing her into his embrace, where she belonged to, rocking side to side.

"stay" she cried softly against his chest, unaware of the fact that she wasnt the only one, that her kento's emotions were too strong for him to hold on to as he cried silently into her shoulder

"im staying"

two birds on a wire, one tries to fly away

but it doesnt.

#nanami kento angst #nanami #nanami kento x reader #jjk nanami #nanami kento smut #smut #jjk smut #nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut

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iridescentoracle · 6 months

Text

bad wizards and shimmering rainbow-white robes

Someone else has probably already made this point—I'm late to the Locked Tomb party, I know—but I've been reading a whole lot of Locked Tomb posts (in between re-reading bits of the Locked Tomb books and thinking about The Lord of the Rings) recently, and if anyone else has made this point I haven't seen it yet, so, spoilers through Nona the Ninth:

Your gazes met. The other nascent Lyctor—the Third House saint, the Emperor’s bones and the Emperor’s joints, the Emperor’s fists and gestures—was clothed in a beautiful nacreous robe that glimmered all the colours of the rainbow: gauzy, iridescent white stuff that changed violently in the light.

(Chapter 4, Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)

A mass of fabric whispered past you—you could not feel it on your body, but you felt the air upon your cheek—and then a person knelt in front of your chair. A shining, shimmering billow of pale fabric came into your field of vision, a rainbow-hued whiteness that ran through shades beneath the hot tungsten light, like the reflection of coloured glass on ice, the same stuff that now was draped around you. Then, awfully, your vision was lifted. Someone had pressed a finger lightly beneath your chin, and they were tilting it up so that you could see their face. You looked at the Lyctor. The Lyctor looked at you.

(Chapter 6, Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)

‘“Radagast the Brown!” laughed Saruman, and he no longer concealed his scorn. “Radagast the Bird-tamer! Radagast the Simple! Radagast the Fool! Yet he had just the wit to play the part that I set him. For you have come, and that was all the purpose of my message. And here you will stay, Gandalf the Grey, and rest from journeys. For I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!” ‘I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours, and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.

(“The Council of Elrond,” The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien)

I told them, This is it. We were put here to save the planet. We’re going to save the planet. We’re not going to let them run away. We’re going to fix this. And they were all, Yeah, John, because they were my friends and they loved me. But because they were also dicks and most of them had multiple tertiary degrees, they were also like, How though. We know you can do X and Y and Z. That’s still not A or B or C. We love the bone magic, but how are you going to pull this off? And it was P— of all people who said, First things first. If they’re going to let us fix the world, you’ve got to make them take us seriously. Get some leverage. If they want to make you into a bad wizard, be a bad wizard. We can write the history books to say you were a good wizard. Or at least an okay wizard. They’re not going to listen because we talk nicely, they’re going to listen because we scare the shit out of them.

(“John 5:1,” Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir)

Ironically, of course, John himself doesn’t wear the shimmering rainbow-hued robes of the Lyctors—but his crown of infant fingerbones is first described as “a wreath of ribbon and pearlescent leaves in his dark hair, rustling prismatically in the windless docking bay" (Chapter 6, Harrow the Ninth), and frankly I think rainbow pearlescent leaves each “intertwined with a match-sized infant fingerbone” sounds significantly more evil than Saruman bothered looking, so eat your heart out Curunír I guess.

Of course, there's lots of irony about John adopting the trappings of that particular evil wizard, but I think the most ironic part might be the extent to which he really should've taken notes on the rest of the passage in question:

‘“I liked white better,” I said. ‘“White!” he sneered. “It serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.” ‘“In which case it is no longer white,” said I. “And he that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.”

#the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #locked tomb meta #the lord of the rings #lotr #fotr #character: saruman #character: john gaius

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nandysparadox · 9 months

Text

candlelit dinners and secret gardens

Pairing: romantic royality; mentioned platonic moceit

Word count: 1569

cw: marriage proposal fluff!

Summary:

Roman is quite surprised when Patton takes him to a renowned restaurant for a romantic dinner

And he'll see that his boyfriend has one more secret in store for the night

---

the final fic i wrote for @royalityweek ^^!! i'll be honest, i really didn't believe i'd finish it in time, but thankfully, it worked out! and im pretty happy with it :>

but if you still haven't had enough of this verse, don't worry, there'll be art too! i might even post it here, for archiving purposes

once again, big thanks to @ivaryn0 on tumblr for beta-reading!

prompt: gestures/secrets

“You’re being awfully secretive about this.”

Patton only laughed in response, and Roman would’ve glared at him, but the blindfold tied around his eyes made sure couldn’t see anything other than a faint suggestion of sunlight. He opted to cross his arms instead.

As expected, Patton didn’t offer any more information on where they were going — only humming along to some pop song playing on the radio. Roman thumbed at his seat belt. Despite his curiosity, he didn’t try to peek under the blindfold, if only because his boyfriend was so adorably insistant on it.

Soon enough, Roman felt the car stop and park, and after a beat the door clicked open. A hand grabbed his forearm and then Patton was gently guiding him out of his seat.

“Okay, just a second, honey, don’t look yet!”

Laughing, Roman let him position him as he pleased. When it seemed Patton was satisfied, he leaned his head so he'd be able to untie the knot.

Roman reached to take off the blindfold, and as his vision cleared he felt his heart skip a beat.

Right in front of them stood a building he immediately recognized from social media as “The Castle'' — which might as well be the most renowned restaurant in the whole state. The waiting list for a reservation alone was miles long.

“How on earth did you—?”

Patton shrugged, a coy smile on his face. “I have my ways, now c’mon.”

Taking his arm, Patton tugged him along the stone path that led to the entrance. Roman gaped. The name definitely did the place justice, with its old stone walls that peaked in small towers and a majestic wooden gate as a door.

And the inside was just as beautiful as the outside, it seemed. Even the waiting room was lavish, with regal plush couches to sit on. Through their many anniversaries, he and Patton had visited many fancy restaurants, but this was on a whole other level. Especially considering that, as far as Roman knew, their anniversary was months from now, and so were their birthdays.

Before he could think too much about it, though, a waiter came by, taking the reservation name and directing them to their table.

Roman sat down onto the chair carefully, looking at the table with awe. Generally, all the candlelit dinners he’d made for Patton had that effect achieved by sticking a single candlestick in the middle of the table, but here it was a whole centerpiece, along with some floral arrangements that looked straight out of a romance novel. When he looked back up at Patton, he found the other watching him with a fond look.

“I really can’t believe you did this,” Roman said with a surprised, delighted laugh. “What’s the occasion?”

Patton leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand with a teasing grin. “What if I just wanted to treat my lovely prince to a nice evening?”

Roman felt his cheeks heat up at the pet name. That was cheating, frankly — Patton knew how much that flustered him. Thankfully, a waiter saved him from responding, as they came by to note down their orders.

While waiting, they fell into easy conversation about their week, and Roman’s nerves melted down. They could be anywhere in the world and they would still chat about the same old things, huh? It was a comforting thought. Roman raved about how the tour’s going, mishaps in shows included, and Patton responded in kind — speaking of the clinic, of cute animals he saw, and anything else he spotted, really. All with the cutest little smile on his face.

By the time their food got wheeled in, Roman had barely noticed any time passed at all. Of course, it was all delicious — filet steaks cooked to a medium-rare, glistening and enticing. They even managed to make the side vegetables look mouth-watering! They took their time eating, and Roman enjoyed every bit of Patton’s company. He had to admit, it was nice to have such a date night after being away on tour. He missed him.

“Actually,” Patton said, after taking the last bite of his meal. “There’s a secret about this place.”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “And that would be…?”

Patton’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he rose to take Roman’s hand and lift him out of his chair. “Come with me.”

Patton led him to another door, mostly hidden away in the corner, which made him the slightest bit nervous. But as he stepped out, all his worries melted in awe.

A garden.

“Beautiful, right?” Patton said, looking around. “Janus, you know xem, works here, and xe told me about it. It’s open to the public, but not a lot of people come by.”

Indeed, there were a few people around, but not many, most scattered around benches or trees.

“I thought Janus worked in the grocery store?”

“Xe did. Last week,” Patton said, nonchalant. He then gestured with his head to what seemed to be the bandstand in the center of the garden. “Are you up for a walk?”

Stepping around stone to avoid trampling the fresh grass, Roman followed Patton onto the desire path. Soft moonlight streaked the view of the flowers, which, along with the warm glow from the few lamp posts, provided a lovely scene. He smiled as he considered the decorations in the flower beds — little doors and fountains, miniature houses, all designed to make it look as if a fairy lived there. It was like it was lifted out of a storybook.

As they reached the gazebo, faint, romantic violin music began to play from a speaker. Roman raised an eyebrow to Patton. Between that, and the fact that Janus apparently worked there, it was all beginning to seem quite planned indeed.

Patton could only give a sheepish smile in response, and Roman shook his head in amusement. Taking advantage of the crescendoing melody, he took Patton’s hand and pulled him into a slow spin, drawing a surprised squeak out of his boyfriend. Soon enough, Patton pressed closer, resting his hand on Roman’s shoulder, and they were off in their own little rhythm.

He’d had enough experience slow dancing, theater and all, so Roman led — guiding their steps back and forth across the bandstand, practically floating along to the music. Patton giggled under his breath as he almost tripped, and Roman felt his heartbeat thrum louder at the sight. With pink flushed cheeks and baby blue eyes that glimmered in the night, Patton looked nothing short of ethereal.

Though, all of a sudden, he let go. Stepping away from Roman’s arms with an anxious, but determined look. Seemingly shy for the first time in the whole evening, he fidgeted with the collar of his suit.

“I know you love big, romantic gestures,” Patton began, “And when I found out about this place, I knew you’d love it. I think you could tell, but I planned this out quite a bit. And I’m so happy I got that chance, because you’re always knocking me off my feet, so I thought, you know—” He gestured to the gazebo with a nervous smile. “—I’d do the same to you. I’m not the best with words, but I’ll say it anyway. I can’t imagine a better place to ask— ask this.”

Roman felt his heart jump at his throat as he caught the thread of what he meant, and anticipation built up in his chest like fireworks.

They’d talked about it before, of course, enough that Roman felt a bit silly for not seeing it coming sooner — unprompted romantic dinner and all. Part of him was glad he didn’t, though. He always did love surprises.

Clearing his throat, Patton continued. “When I got home, on the night we met, I called my brother. He wanted to bite my head off for going on a date with a stranger, so I told him to quit fussing, and that you were… different, special. He asked how I was so sure and I told him I could feel it. Next thing I did was text you.” Getting down on one knee, Patton took out a small velvet box out of his pocket. “I’m so, so glad I did. Roman, you’re wonderful, and I love you so much it feels too big for my chest sometimes. But I still can’t get enough of it, not now and not- forever, so… will you marry m-”

Roman barely got to see the engagement ring before he threw himself at Patton and nearly knocked him over, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and smiling wider than he ever did before. “Yes! Of course, darling, oh my goodness…” he trailed off, feeling the happy tears build up.

Patton beamed as he guided them off the floor, pressing their foreheads together as he took Roman’s hand to slide the ring on. And what a lovely thing it was. Roman stretched out his hand to look at it. A golden vine-shaped band with a beautiful round ruby in the center. Patton knew him all too well, and didn’t that make Roman feel like he was flying.

“I love you so much,” he choked out, cheeks aching from grinning and fully crying by this point

Patton cupped his face and pulled him into a sweet kiss. He stroked his thumb across Roman’s cheekbone and, pulling away, he smiled softly.

“I love you too.”

---

A/N: a few things i want to mention: - janus absolutely did help plan this lol xe's patton's friend from book club and a bit of a job hopper, so when xe got the position in the restaurant xe immediately pulled a few strings to help pat out :) - this takes place 6-7 years after milkshakes and checkered diners, and what patton said in his speech really did happen after that night - virgil might be a little bit protective - the song playing in the gazebo was 'Amore mio aiutami' by Piero Piccioni and this was the ring patton got for roman:

etsy link - https: //tinyurl.com/etsyrubyring

#sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #royality #royalityweek2023

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alecthewreck · 11 months

Text

The Laboratory's Account

A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Fiction by Alec L. Barton

He stumbled through my doorway, looking worse than I’d ever seen him before. I took a deep breath, forcing air on the coals that sat in the throat of my fireplace, hoping its warmth would reach and comfort him. With heavy breaths, he pulled a chair toward my throat and sat down heavily. At least he was Jekyll tonight, though just barely.

I worried about him. Constantly. Once, we had been great friends, doing work for the community. On my tables he built medicines for the cough that wouldn't leave the chests of the children on the street. By my fires he wrote essays on helping your fellow man. I liked this time; I liked providing a place for him to do his works.

The weight of his burdens sat on his human shoulders like a heavy roof on molded timbers, eventually crashing the casing of his house. There was more to his existence than I understood; I had but one purpose, whilst he had many. His society did not indulge him in his fancies as he needed them, too, though and so he rotted. I was helpless in my steadfast purpose, watching my friend destroy himself in vials and powders. When the other emerged, I felt tainted, as though a squirming termite had invaded my timber.

Yet, my friend was there beneath. There must be something I could do to help. His friends came and took him away a little while after he collapsed at my throat, and it was then I tried to do the most to keep him away. I practiced holding my doors tight, so that any who tried to enter would not be able to dislodge the wood from the frame. I breathed in dust, covering the surfaces with filth so that if any did enter, their stay would not be pleasant and they would leave. I choked ash from my throat, smothering the coals and taking in cold. But my friend was not like others of his kind.

It was many weeks later, but Jekyll came back to me, smiling at the dust, relighting the flames, and brushing off any filth that was in his immediate way. He puttered around, patting my tables and murmuring pleasantly at me as he began his work anew.

“This time,” he said more loudly, “there will be control and the split will leave me with more control.” Jekyll sounded so sure, and I wanted to do as humans do and cry.

Of all the emotions Jekyll sought to manipulate and indulge in, it was sadness that I envied most. I needed to show him my concern, and yet I had no way left of me. All I could do was stand and watch Jekyll trying to create something from his human-mess while I tried to keep the cold out, since he was here anyway. I knew that this would all end one day, and sooner than a building should lose it’s friend. I just didn’t think… well.

Then it happened. I should have known it would, but I suppose I didn't want to see or think of it. My friend came running into me, and cowered at the table of powders. It wasn’t Jekyll, though, it was the other one. The coals in my throat were long cold, and the dust had settled again; I was not ready for him, even in this Hyde form. As I said, I knew what lie beneath. I watched, breath held, as he grabbed one of his vials and turned towards my doorway with wide eyes.

Suddenly, pain ripped through me. An axe, wielded by friends of my friend, bit through my wooden doors as they screamed for him, for Hyde. They were going to kill him. I held my hinges tight, tried to ignore the pain, but they came through. I looked worriedly to Jekyll, but his demise was already upon him; an empty vile, his body on the floor, and his friends crowding round the sputtering man. This was the end of my beautiful Jekyll. This. Poisoned by his own creations.

I stood empty after that, for years. Now, as I collapse about myself, watching the world change and leave me behind, all I can think about is Jekyll. My friend. We’re all nothing but decay in the end, no matter how beautifully we stood in life.

6/12/23

#fiction #short story #literature #dr jekyll and mr hyde

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chrissie2003 · 1 year

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Scenario pt 3: Being followed from home (ft Gojo, Yuta, Nanami)

A normal day with your instructions wasn't seen as creepy in society, because most assume it was a field trip. But in this case, a man with a blindfold on carrying unknown items in a bag with 2 teens and a businessman seemed suspicious.

"Uh, Gojo Sensai?" Yuta whispered, "People are staring at us because well ... you know." He pointed to the large bag Gojo was carrying. "AW, this Yuta isn't something we should worry about. It's for training purposes for a new field ground we got permission from." Nanami and Me both looked at each other in embarrassment as he continuously walks through the streets unashamed. I doubt Nanami wouldn't let us go with Gojo by ourselves so he insisted an adult come with us. After we got there, it was nearing dark time perfect for training. It was an abandoned warehouse looming with dark powerful cursed energy. There stood dilapidated architecture and uncut grass tall above our knees. Gojo smiled going inside without a care in the world, Nanami followed as he checked the surrounding area. We followed inside. It was even crummier there but we didn't care we wanted training to be over. Seeing Gojo drop the bag quickly I went over there to collect it and opened it up.

"GOJO SENSAI! Where should we place these, Items?" Rummaging through the bags I found many cursed weapons. Gojo placed his hand on my shoulder and pointed to the back of the place. We followed him again while Nanami stayed in the front. "I'll watch the front entrance if anyone comes by", he said as he placed himself in a chair crossing both of his arms. I, Gojo, and Yuta were in the back of the place where it was dark. Gojo clasped his hands together, "OK let's get started I will pull out random cursed objects" as he threw them at us. We caught it and battled each other.

During our training, Nanami was in the other room repeatedly checking his watch. He swiftly came into the room, "Gojo I will be leaving, I got important matters to attend to!" Nanami left without explaining. I and Yuta didn't mind him as Gojo watched us train. After an hour we were done. "WHEWWW!" Yuta flopped on the ground to catch his breath. I was sitting right by side him drinking my water. "Want a waterfall?" I offered. "A what?" Yuta questioned. "Dude just your head back and open up," I motioned my mouth giving him some water. Gojo's face appeared troubled. "It's about time we head home it's getting dark." He grabbed my shoulder leading me away from this place. Yuta followed. "What's going on?" I mouthed to Yuta who just shrugged. Walking out of the place we all heard a noise from upstairs. We froze in place as we looked over our shoulders. Gojo turned towards the direction of the noise, "Go back home without me I'll investigate" he walked. "But Gojo-" He turned around and took off his blindfold. "Please Y/N, Yuta." We nodded and ran out of the building.

It was nighttime. We have been in there for a while now. "Hey, Yuta what do you think happened, you know Gojo being weird?" I told him. "Probably he sensed something we couldn't see, he has his own eyes." Yuta placed a hand on my shoulder, "Besides the only thing matters is that we are safe Y/N."

Rustling leaves sounded behind. We turned our heads in that direction until we dashed off. "WHY ARE WE RUNNING?" Yuta screamed. Our footsteps turned into deep stomps against the pavement as our hearts started to race. "BECAUSE-E it might be somebody COMIN-G-G to get us!" I said slowly losing my breath. We ran a couple of blocks til we entered the city. HUFF HUFF HUFF

We leaned against a lamppost to catch our breath. "I think they're gone, we can go home now," I said but Yuta shook his head. "Not yet, they could be following us as we speak. Let's browse the city a while before we do." I agreed and followed his lead. The city was beautiful being here at night minding the dangers of it. Cool-weather, quiet and peaceful atmosphere; everyone would be out if it wasn't so bad. For a while we didn't hear anyone following us so one last check looking if someone was behind us. It was clear that we walked back to the academy.

Coming back home Nanami and the others were waiting for us. "SO glad you guys could make it back!" Yuji enthusiastically said hugging us. Megumi and Nobara were glad that we were back too. "Wait where's Gojo!" I panicked, "We left him back at the place." I placed my face into the palms of my hands. "HAHAHA!" Gojo laughed. He called from around the corner. "GOJO!" Everyone said.

"You think I was going to be left there by myself with the intruder? I'm not stupid." He said crossing his arms. "Good to see you back!" Yuta cheered. "Hey, Gojo what happened back there with the intruder? Or whatever you were catching?!" I exclaimed. But he didn't elaborate instead he held his hands, "Don't worry it was nothing, just an animal that got stuck in the building. Right now you guys should head to bed for training tomorrow!" Gojo playful commented. Boos and oh man was heard from us as we marked back to our door rooms. Leaving Gojo alone in the room. Going to the window to stare at the window, before closing it.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk drabble #jjk fanfic #jjk x y/n #jjk imagines #jjk scenarios #jjk fluff #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader

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sterwerssunda · 2 years

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Okayyyy here I go😭 THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

I have to talk about this movie. Because it is a masterpiece and I am going to rewatch it many times to study the nuances, so *some spoilers*

>>>

Everyone’s been fixated on Pedro Pascal and for good reason. Javi is one of the best written and acted characters I’ve ever seen, and there’s a constant tension because you just want to like him but you’re not sure if you should.

But this is a Bromance. And he’s only half the equation.

Nicholas Cage held nothing back for this movie, and what’s absolutely insane is that this isn’t really him at all.

*glances nervously at the industry before continuing

Nicholas Cage, from everything I can find, is a quirky, average person. He likes action movies. He likes acting. He prioritizes his family, and he likes to read books and sit in chairs with a cat. And that is the basis of his reality. Explosions, popcorn flicks, get paid, relax with the family.

But Nick Cage. Ohhhoho no. Nick Cage is a tormented artist, struggling with the weight of what it means to create fine art in a world that only wants car chases and guns. He cares about meaning and purpose and finding meaning in life. What it is to feel alive, why art even matters…he wants things to move him. And he finds his match in Javi.

AND THIS IS THE UNBELIEVABLE PART OKAY?!? I DO NOT KNOW IF HE EVEN KNEW HE WAS CREATING A SELF AWARE AND BITTERSWEET BROM-COM. I DON’T THINK HE UNDERSTANDS THE SCRIPT AND THE MOVIE BECAUSE THATS NOT ACTUALLY HOW HE THINKS.

So what this means. Is that Nicholas Cage, a basic oblivious white actor with some films on his IMDb, who won’t even watch the movie, has just created a poignant queer lighthearted hopeful tragedy without knowing it.

These people not only got permission to make it, but coached him somehow to deliver very believable performances, and managed to create GAY LA LA LAND, complete with the tragically “happy ending.”

And only some of the people watching will even know what they’re watching. It could be a buddy comedy to them. It could have a happy ending. Good for them, they have girls in their lives. But they’re missing the complete point of the movie.

And what kills me the most is the real villain is the audience. The movie is a baklava of layered subtext, with the “movie” they’re writing often referring to the story they’re in. And both of them want a “beautiful character piece,” but they both realize that the people, the industry…those people wouldn’t watch it. Wouldn’t get it. Wouldn’t support it. They decide with heavy hearts that it should then turn into a “Hollywood blockbuster.”

They want a nuanced gay love story, a drama, a poignant art piece. But the only way it’ll get made is if they cleverly disguise it as a guns and explosions movie. Because that will get people in the theaters. And there’s a devastation, a heartbreaking turn as the story shifts. They know it has to. But they don’t want to point guns at each other. They don’t want cheap explosions and kidnappings. But that is the way it must be.

ALL WHILE NICHOLAS CAGE HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THIS. I really think he mostly did it because of the explosions😭

But I just know that Pedro Pascal understood the assignment. That Javi’s forbidden love wasn’t just about some random girl, it was about his icon. About the person he understood the most. The one who asked to trade shoes with him.

PEDRO PASCAL IS AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE BECAUSE HE KNEW ALL THE ANGLES. JAVI IS A CHARMING BUT THREATENING GUY WHO TURNS OUT TO JUST BE THE GAY SOFTBOY WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS.

NICHOLAS CAGE IS AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THE ENTIRE CREW MANAGED TO PULL A HEARTSTOPPINGLY GAY PERFORMANCE OUT OF A STRAIGHT MAN WITHOUT HIM EVEN KNOWING. TURNING HIS MEMED AND CHAOTIC FILMOGRAPHY INTO THE BACKDROP FOR AN ACHING LONELY ARTIST PERSONA WHO WANTED ART AND LOVE AND TO FEEL SOMETHING AGAIN.

Sure, write your Javi x reader fanfics but don’t forget the Nick x Javi ones. Because this is a ship we need to protect. One that who knows how many people secretly fought for. A closeted masterpiece explaining why it can’t fully come out.

It was too short on purpose. It was fleeting and beautiful, and all our beautiful moments were exchanged for dark basements and kidnappings and guns, because that’s what the people crave. Mindless violence. Fast food stories.

SIDE NOTE IT’S ALSO HILARIOUS AND YOU’LL LAUGH SO MUCH LIKE HOWWWW

>>>

There are so many things that I know I’ve missed, and things I want to find once I own it😅

But here are bonus notes:

- the movie The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari is about an evil controlling man who makes an innocent pawn kidnap a girl.

- the movie Paddington 2 is about Paddington Bear being wrongly imprisoned and bringing the best out of his seemingly intimidating cell mates.

Already loads of theories just with that. Go dig up more. Study story and art and write the gayest shit you can. Fight for all the art. Because otherwise it’ll be taped over and replaced with what some grumpy old men with family money want just because they think they own everything. Ehehehe oh crud I’m gonna get cancelled. While I’m at it, yes. The title is a dick joke.

#the unbearable weight of massive talent #pedro pascal #nicholas cage #javi g x reader #javi g x you #javi gutierrez #nick cage #tuwomt #paddington 2 #cabinet of dr caligari #queer fiction #gay #gayart #Javi x Nick #JAVICK #like havoc get it guys okay bye #love you all

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fandomfluffandfuck · 7 months

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i know imagining animatics/fanvids set to songs is a time-tested fandom tradition, and i vaguely remember that you talked about having playlists dedicated to characters, so i wanted to ask: do you have any songs in particular that inspires you to translate it into a different medium? (not necessarily for fic purposes)

like for example i recently listened to gravity by john mayer (the lyrics is so stucky-coded, which you know, ouch) and i'm vividly imagining making a stopmotion thing with paperdolls that have movable joints flat on the table, a snowy sky as the background, the bucky doll falling in slow motion (as the background streaks red) while we see the form of a chair slowly becoming visible at the bottom of the screen... and then it switches to a parallel scene where the steve doll's falling with the pieces of the triskelion floating in midair. then as he crashes into the river we see the bottom of it is the waterlogged version of the room he wakes up in the future, and as he lands on the bed it freezes him ❄ the frost spreads and spreads, until it reaches the other doll being held in its own cold prison, serving as a tomb where he slumbers ❄

...wish i knew how to outline things properly and break tasks down into manageable chunks lol, but it is very fun to think about making art! (but actually following thru ambitious projects is 😭)

I think you'll enjoy this post

Also, this post

I 👏🏻 LOVE 👏🏻 THIS 👏🏻 QUESTION 👏🏻

As far as imagining fics based on songs, you can very much see that I do that to some degree with the amount of fics I have that use song lyrics as titles, lol. But when that happens, it's not so much about hearing a song and then coming up with a fic concept based on the song, usually, I have the fic written, then a song comes on shuffle and I go Oh! Oh, This Is The Exact Vibe! This Song Has To Be The Title Now!

Your idea for the John Mayer song sounds beautiful and haunting, by the way! It perfectly fits that song! It would be truly, truly breathtaking. Just the idea in my imagination is breathtaking.

I have a vivid imagination, so usually when songs remind me of stucky and inspire me, I imagine fan edit type videos in my head. I don't know how to edit, though, and I have too many things going on to teach myself right now, so... they'll stay in my mind.

This got longer than I intended, lol

"What Was I Made For?" by Billie Eilish

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just something you paid for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

That song vividly, vividly shows me Steve--Steve before he encounters the Winter Soldier and really begins to make a life for himself in the 21st century. Aimlessly wandering around Brookyln. Staring out into space. Frowning. Wringing his hands. Trying to figure out how he feels and who he is now that he's woken again to a new world. There isn't a war. There aren't any people he knows. What does he do? Who is he?

I mean...

"In Over My Head" by Grandson

When I was nine, I'd make believe

The good guy always caught the thief

The room went dark and I couldn't sleep

I was in over my head

At 15, I would look around

And all my friends had it figured out

They all thought it, but they never said out loud

I was in over my head

Oh, I feel this vertigo

Sick of being an optimist

I'm trying, I'm trying

But I'm in over my head

I'm in over my head

...

I thought I'd make change happen overnight

I was 20, thought I had a good hold on life

Didn't know it at the time, I was not alright

I was in over my head

Now I'm pretty sure at 26

That it isn't gonna be some little fix

The game wasn't rigged by accident

I'm in over my head

This is another Steve song. I hear this song and I see an edit showing us Steve from the playground, squaring up with bullies twice his size, Steve as a teenager, getting in trouble with Sarah, giving her gray hairs, Steve as a young adult, getting in fights in alleys, enlisting illegally, Steve in the military, standing up to his superiors, then Steve post-serum, post-war, entangled in his Captain America suit--watching the news after a mission, wading through the scene of a protest, frowning at his phone, opened to angry discussions on social media... he doesn't know what to do. He feels paralyzed.

(Also, "Left Behind" by Grandson also gives me MAJOR Steve vibes. He's stubborn. He cares so deeply about topics. All of that. I see Steve getting angry in that song, I see Steve crying with that song. <3)

"Black Vultures" by Halestorm

Black vultures circling the sky

Feels like the end of the world

But it's only the beginning of it all

Forget the things that you've heard

Been a survivor since I began to crawl

I'm falling down but I'm not out

The devils at my door

I don't give in, I don't give up

I won't ever let it break me

I'm on fire, I'm a fighter

I'll forever be the last one standing

Black vultures circling the sky

Pick at the pieces

Scavengers wait for me to die

But I'm not defeated

I'm on the edge of the war

I'm holding on and hanging by a thread

I am the eye of the storm

And you haven't seen the last of me just yet

This feeds my brain the idea of Bucky lying on his back on the ground, in the middle of fucking nowhere, a meadow that's muted and dulled. The sky is overcast. There are vultures and ravens flying overhead, circling, but also perched in trees at the outside of the meadow. He's exhausted. Worn thing. Greasy. Gritty. Bloody. He gets up, turning over to crawl, and eventually finds the strength to walk. To stagger. It cuts to black. And then there's a montage of destruction in the most beautiful way as he tears through HYDRA bases. Ending them.

"Devil In Me" by Halsey

I don't wanna wake it up

The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up

Gotta wake up, come back to life

This is simple. At least, it feels that way to me, lol. It's purely Bucky. I see Bucky screaming, sweating, hair amess, after having a bad night, coming too close to horrifying memories through dreams, and trashing their [Steve's and his] bedroom. Thrusting the nightstand onto its side. Cracking the lamp. Ripping the sheets. Needing to do something. Squeezing his fists.

Finally, finally sinking down in the corner of the room to sob. Hands to his head, trembling. He sits there for who knows how long before Steve comes in and holds him. He tells him it's okay again and again and again. It is. They can replace everything. Sometimes you just need to get it out.

"Guilty (For Your Love)" by YONKA

You tripped on love, you got cut, you were bleeding

I carried you through the night, an emergency

I want to inhale your disease

I would do anything for you, I am guilty

I get goosebumps when you're near me

You're just like the movies

I am guilty for your love

...

I had monsters in my bedroom 'til you came along

You scared them off and kissed my head

Told me that they've all gone

You taught me how to stand up to my demons, that's real love

You been messed around so much, you forgot how to trust

Had the wool pulled over your eyes, but I ripped it off

I'm the pill you needed when you thought that you were all done

This is one million percent stucky in my head. I see so much with this song. I see them in war times, I see Steve getting up in a commanding officers face, throwing his own queerness in their face when the officer comes to deliver Bucky his blue slip. Yelling. Eyes lit with a challenge. They won't discharge Captain America. They couldn't. I see Bucky throwing himself in front of Steve. Blocking him from fire, from bullets, from danger and absolute death with his body. I see Steve taking the stand in Bucky's defense against the United Nations Court. They will only convict Bucky if it's over his dead body. I see Steve and Bucky lying in bed, sheets tangled, Steve's fingers tracing Bucky's jaw, his sharp cheekbones... yeah.

"Are You Really Okay?" by Sleep Token

Are you really okay?

You woke me up one night

Dripping crimson on the carpet

I saw it in your eyes

Cutting deeper than the scars could run

And don't you know

I can see it in you even now

And don't you know

I want to help you but I don't know how

And are you really okay? Yeah, yeah

Are you really okay?

And I, I cannot fix your wounds this time

But I, I don't believe you when you tell me you are fine

Please don't hurt yourself again

Just please don't hurt yourself again, oh

This song, depending on the mood I'm in when it comes on, flips back and forth between coming from Bucky's point of view, about Steve, or Steve's point of view about Bucky.

It's mostly the same either way, I see Bucky or Steve filling the role of the narrator in the song--waking up to see their partner bleeding, shaking, incoherent, and hurting. They're dazed. So hurt that they have a thousand yard stare and can't totally focus. The rest of the night is spent on the balcony of their apartment. Smoking a cigarette despite supposedly having quit, sharing it between them silently. When they slide back into bed at dawn, they're wrapped up so entirely in each other.

I hope you enjoyed my rambles, lol

#asks #Spotify #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #au #fandomfluffandfuck

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