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thevulpinehero1 · 8 months

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GWatch -- Mobile Suit Gundam 0079 Ep 1

Since Armoured Core came out and everyone's in a mecha mood, I figured I would talk about an entirely different mecha series instead. The plan is to watch one episode a day, talk about it, and include one (or more) screenshots to facilitate enhanced rambling. I want to start with the original series since I've watched it before, see if I can get through it all, and then maybe move onto some other Gundams if I have the spirit.

Beware! Spoilers for a 40 year old anime inbound, as well as possible misreporting since I probably am not going to fact check too well. Gundam nerds may feel free to correct me and dispense wisdom where appropriate. Also, I'm just going to go with whatever name spelling is on the subtitles I have at the time. Sorry, not sorry.

The first thing I have to talk about is the theme song, which honestly gives me emotions. Nowadays, we all have this image of Gundam as basically the show that invented the real robot subgenre, but you would absolutely never get that impression from the theme song or OP. Honestly, go find it and listen to it -- it's actually amazing how widely it misses the tone of the series, with lyrics like "Bring to bear the rage of justice!" and "If you are still burning with furious rage, you must fight the towering foe!" It sounds much, much more like a Super Robot theme song for like Daitarn 3 or Raideen or something, than something you would see associated with a classic "war is hell" series like Gundam.

And this was probably completely intentional. I remember hearing that even as far back as its initial run, the series had to fight the sponsors/toymakers in order to carve out its own identity, and part of that was projecting a surface level impression of a more palatable Super Robot style show. (Some things never change, I guess...)

To me, it adds a lot to the charm, because the singer is obviously going in and doing their best, singing an ode to a giant metal hero of justice who doesn't really exist outside of the fertile imagination of an advertising/toy exec who has been thoroughly mislead. I love that. I just want to go and tell them, hey, I appreciate you, you are singing your heart out on this theme song for an entirely different and imaginary series than the one they've actually made, and you're killing it. You are fighting the good fight, and you may be one of the reasons the series even got off the ground in the first place because you were part of this obfuscation.

This is Amuro Ray. His shadow looms large over every Gundam protagonist that will follow him; many of them either use him as a blueprint for their personality, or are meant as a study in contrast to it. He kills a lot of people. He eats a lot of sandwiches. There are long and intricate scenes of Amuro eating sandwiches, and they are among my favourite scenes in the whole series, and, in fact, any Gundam show I've ever watched. I'm not kidding.

I picked this screenshot not just because it shows a stone-cold, unrepentant sandwich-murderer in his natural habitat, but because it also showcases another thing I love about the show: the goofy animation. This was not a show with a huge budget. There is something weird or goofy happening in every episode, almost every scene, and the first episode -- traditionally one of the best funded in most series -- is no exception. Amuro eats like a turtle. Hayato's hand is an amorphous, misshapen blob. I think it honestly adds to the charm; the series is scuffed, and probably knows it's scuffed, but it's doing its best to tell a story in spite of that.

For now, Amuro is not the pilot of legend. He sits around the house doing science in his underwear, his neighbours don't like him enough to tell him about an actual military evacuation that he's supposed to be undertaking, and without the aid of his childhood friend Fraw Bow (who he mostly summarily ignores), he wouldn't bother to evacuate at all and would likely die at home. He's a scrunkly kind of dude. Maybe even a scrunklemeister. Your boy probably smells like a scratch and sniff card if you rubbed off all the panels and tried snorting them all at once.

The show is surprisingly quick at characterising him, too. Within a minute or two, we know all the above, plus that he seems to have a certain amount of tension with his father, who his neighbours blame for bringing the military to their peaceful colony. His father, Tem Ray, loves him at least enough to put a picture of him on his desk, and makes vaguely prophetic statements about how kids as young as Amuro are already joining the war as guerrilla fighters. Foreshadowing hit different in the eighties.

One scene I didn't actually remember, but really should have in retrospect, is the part where Amuro confronts his father ("Do you care more about Mobile Suits than humans?" is the absolute first thing Amuro says to him), and the death of Fraw Bow's mother and grandfather, both of which expose a more sensitive core to the scrunklebeast within. It's very convenient/poetic (delete as appropriate) that Fraw Bow was herself very nearly caught in the explosion that killed the crowd her family was in, and only survived because she separated from them in order to check on Amuro.

I was also kinda surprised to relearn that Amuro doesn't really 'fall in' to the cockpit; he very deliberately gets in, having happened to read the manual earlier, in an effort to either protect the remaining civilians or take revenge for the ones who've just fallen (the context doesn't really make it clear which one, but he rushes to the cockpit soon after Fraw Bow sees her family die and is making her escape).

One thing that's really interesting in the metacontext of the series is that although Amuro ends up being one of the best pilots (he's a legend in mecha anime for a reason), he kinda starts out as one of the worst. Many Gundam protags are either experienced, have some level of training, or have other reasons why they're hot shit right out of the box; Amuro really does not know what he's doing, and is carried entirely by the fact that the Gundam itself is dizzyingly durable for the time period. It also comes with a learning computer (which I bet sounded very advanced in the time the anime was made, but kinda brings certain chatbots to mind in the present day) to ease the piloting burden while he learns how to use the dang thing. Not only that, but he goes up against a lot of mobbers who aren't that much better than he is and can't do much against his much better machine.

(A really interesting experiment is to contrast Kira from SeeD, which follows a lot of the original Gundam's major story beats quite closely for the first part of the series and is almost a spiritual remake in some parts. Kira almost has the opposite end of the equation going on -- a very good pilot from day one, he has the misfortune of having five other named dudes who are close to his level and have machines that are arguably better than his in a vacuum, and he fights them pretty regularly.)

Anyway, through more luck than skill, Amuro manages to get through his first Mobile Suit battle in Side 7, but Bright is already looking to utilise him as labour, and Char is advancing on the colony. That's the first episode, more tomorrow. (I don't intend these to be exhaustive or talk about every little, but I wanted to go a bit more in depth for the first ep, and I don't want to restrict myself from veering off on tangents because those are fun.)

#mobile suit gundam #gundam '79 #anime blogging #idk #felt like a fun thing to do #there's a whole other conversation about Gundam's meta eternal recurrence #and whether it's a play on war never changing #or just laziness for reusing the same plot all the time #probably a bit of both #it's very FromSoft come to think of it #there's your armoured core 6 segue right there #screenshots #Gwatch

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tonberry-yoda · 1 year

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Hi, my name is ria and thanks for accepting my request.

Sorry if it's long. 😭😭

age: i am 18+ so you can include even slight NSFW

pronouns: - she/her , straight , interested in men

fandom : jujutsu kaisen

appearance:- i am 5'3 , i have blackish brown wavy hair , big brown eyes and pretty eyebrows. I am neither chubby nor slender just the perfect weight for my height. my skin complexion is wheatish.

MBTI: intj

personality:- i am often viewed as cold individual with superiority complex and the 'hard-worker' of the group. which is true to some extent (except the superiority complex part) but the people who are close to me know a completely different side of me. i can be super funny, sarcastic and i have varied emotions. i work really hard to fulfil responsibilties. i am loyal , and responsible. I do get depressed with life sometimes finding no meaning or purpose but try my best to move on. i also cannot make friends easily due to trust issues, also I am not close to anyone not even to my parents I find it so hard to match up to their expectations of being 'perfect' and it stresses me so much. The best part about dating me can be that i can help u with u r work and motivate to u and be there for u when times r tough.

likes:- i really like it when others are passionate about their dreams and work for it. I find it really attractive. Also people who defend their loved ones even if the world is against them is also such an attractive quality. i like long walks in garden with my loved one with meaningful silence and meaningful late night conversations on any topic is my favourite thing. I just want them to treat me special sometimes.

dislikes:- gossips , drama , liars , hypocrites , bossy people . infidelity is deal breaker for me. i get super cold and won't address the problem anymore and break the relation right away.

hobbies: books , cooking ( i am reallyyy good at it ) , anime , music and occasionally i sing and most of them tell me i have good voice but i don't think so .

love language :- i am happy to give whatever kind of affection they crave for.

i like to receive words of affirmation and acts of service.

physical affection is totally ok in later stage of relation.

i want the person to motivate me and give me hope in my darkest days. i want them to make me feel loved and needed when i am going through my bad days. they should have a stable mind and passion. its a bonus if they can make silly jokes to make me laugh.

Hi RIa!!! You are the first person in the matchup event, so naturally, you are the first to get a matchup!!! Thanks for the request because I think I have the perfect man for you (though this was a tough one ngl)

the character I chose for you is...

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO!!!

this man is obviously passionate, so there you go!

you can help him get a lot of his dreams and passions going and help motivate him and even if he doesnt show it, it means the world to him

he definitley isnt one to boss you around, so you're all good in that department

if he gets to live his own life, why shouldnt you be able to live your own? that's how he sees it for sure

HE THINKS YOU ARE STUNNING OKAY?!?!?!? like literally will blush whenever you're around because you are just so beautiful

he can relate to that hard worker complex going on, so in order for both of you to take a break, you usually have to do it together lmaoooo

he will defend you and protect you because you literally mean the world to him frrr

he dislikes the same thing as you, so you constantly eye roll when you hear gossip and then laugh about it

he will gladly eat your food, like will love that you cook for him

if you bring him homemade treats, he will love you forever

he tells you your voice is good. all the time

he loves providing all of your love languages for you. like he will clean the entire house and then tell you how much he loves you, giving you butterflies bro

when the time comes, he will definitely hold your hand everywhere and give you hugs when you need them, but he's not a PDA guy, so never in front of people

he doesnt mean to be funny, but he definitely cracks a joke here and there lmaooooo

he is the perfect stable man for you and will make you feel loved like you deserve, while providing as much as he can for you and tell you how good you're doing all the time, motivating you constantly

he is the perfect man for you

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

#i hope you like it #this man is handsome to me so please enjoy :)#writing #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #<3 #matchup #matchups #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro

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lholland14 · 3 years

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Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? (Jill Roord x Reader)

Jill Jamie Roord rarely got jealous. She knows Y/n is hers and only hers. Besides who in the world could possibly be an upgrade from her.

It was December 20th when Jill and Y/n boarded the flight to Oldenzaal, Netherlands to spend Christmas with her family. Not only was it Jill's first time home for Christmas, but it was also Y/n's first time meeting Jill's family.

~~~

When we finally landed Jill bounced up from her seat grinning, energized by the smell of the Dutch air. While she was excited to come home, I was dreading it.

Let's get things straight, I'm from Spain I speak Spanish, and English not Dutch. My girlfriend's family is Dutch. I don't know Dutch. I- ugh. This is going to suck.

As we drove to her home Jill pointed out landmarks, her favourite places, and just places in general. I could see her brimming delight at the prospect of seeing her family after so long.

~~~

When we finally arrived she bounded to there front door and didn't even knock twice before an older man opened the door with a smile.

"Dad!" Jill shouted hugging the man I presumed was her father

"Jill! Hallo, hoe gaat het? "Jill! Hello, how are you?"

"Ik voel me goed." "I'm good"

I awaited awkwardly for Jill to be finished greeting her dad so she could introduce me, but along came to boys bonding out the door.

They both looked very similar to Jill, so I guessed they were her brothers Jill told me so much about. The one with the moustache (who I presumed was to be Davy) hugged Jill and proceeded into conversation, the other brother, Boyd, walked over to me.

"So, you must be Y/n" He grinned sticking out his hand.

As I shook it I matched his grin and replied "You must be Boyd"

~~~

It was December 22th when Y/n was fully accepted by the Roord's. However Jill wasn't as pleased as she thought she would have been, it all started in the morning, or rather at 3am

~~~

I couldn't sleep. No matter how perfectly perfect my body temperature, no matter how comforting Jill's hand was around my waist was, I couldn't sleep. And it all because it was snowing, lightly, beautifully, like a perfect winters day. I had to go out and see it.

I put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants, and quietly walked out the door, only to run into Boyd.

He cursed as he dropped some of his hot chocolate he was holding onto my sweatshirt.

"Schijten" He cursed. As he tried to dabb at the already stained shirt I stopped him since I knew it was useless.

He sighed and looked at me apologetically before offering his own sweatshirt.

"Here," He handed me his own sweatshirt, but when I tried to refuse he continued speaking "Take it. It's only fair since I ruined your sweatshirt."

I thanked him and put it on. We were both silent until I made an offer that I presume would cause this whole debacle.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

He grinned before taking my hand and walked quickly to the door.

~~~

It was around 6 when we decided to actually build a snowman. We called him Billy, because Boyd liked the name.

After we created Billy we sat in the snow just talking, telling stories, spilling the tea on Jill.

Not noticing Jill had walked outside looking for me.

~~~

Jill's prov

When I walked outside I was worried until, I saw how close Boyd was to my girlfriend.

They were laughing, Y/n looked happy. Suddenly all the self doubt I had when we started dating resurfaced.

Was I enough?

Is she happy with me?

Would she be happier with someone else?

I simply tapped Y/n's shoulder to direct her to the door, since I knew she must be freezing. Maybe that's why Boyd had his arm around her.

She was cold. Thats all. She doesn't like him, she loves me.

I hope she still loves me.

The self doubt rose as Y/n sped her way around me to walk with Boyd while chatting with Davy.

~~~

It was December 24th when Y/n was getting the cold shoulder from her girlfriend. She thought it couldn't get any worse, but noooo it did. This time it all started at night or rather in the late evening.

~~~

I unlike many people I throughly enjoyed being in the kitchen. I loved to bake, but my true passion was cooking. I enjoyed it because no matter what you always get a result, and sometimes the result may vary, from burnt cakes to light Mac-n-Cheese.

Turns out Davy just happened to share my passion. So if someone shares your passion, its only reasonable to do that passion together.

So we decided to cook for the family. We kicked everyone out of the kitchen (except for Boyd because he wanted to help) and got ready. Of course we needed ingredients so Boyd and I went shopping together.

After an hour of kinda shopping and more joking around we came back to the house to start cooking.

Finally after a couple of hours and almost burning the house down thanks to Boyd, everything was ready. We made the rest of the family sit down while we presented the food.

While we ate Davy told me all about his girlfriend and Boyd joked that if Jill doesn't marry me soon he might. Jill abruptly left after that comment.

She later told me it was just because she was tired, but I didn't believe her.

~~~

It was December 25th when Y/n finally figured out the problem. This time it all started at promptly at 3pm.

~~~

"Whats wrong with you?"

Jill turned at the sharp voice of her younger brother Boyd.

"Nothing." She replied quietly

"No Jillie. I know you, why are being so distant to Y/n?"

"Just leave me alone."

"Did Y/n do something?"

Abruptly Jill turned around in order to face Boyd. He shrunk back when he saw the anger in her eyes.

"We're not having this conversation."

"Why not?" He replied starting to become angry. He had grown close to the kind girl and felt like an older brother towards her.

She scoffed "Why don't you have this conversation with Y/n? You two seem close."

"Wait a minute," His eyes widened as he understood the root of the problem "You're blaming me?"

"Of course I blame you!" She argued "You're the one that is stealing Y/n away from me."

Just as Boyd was about to argue back Y/n came in the room. She looked terrible, like she hadn't been sleeping there were also tear stain under her eyes as well. I looked over at Jill and saw her entire facade start to crumble.

Immediately she pulled Y/n into her room and shut the door.

~~~

Y/n prov

Jill gently pulled me into our room, shut the door then walked me over to the side of the bed for me to sit down. After I sat she went to the bathroom to get a cool wet clothe to wipe my face.

All this was done in silence as I stared at her while she gently wiped my face.

Finally I decided to speak up.

"You okay

"I'm fine," Jill replied, but you knew she wasn't.

Jill always said she was fine, but you could see past that. Whenever she was angry their became a paradox between her personalties. Usually she was sweet and extroverted, when she was angry she became introverted and snarky.

Sure you got angry with each other but the only difference was, Jill would act on her emotions. You were the rational one in the relationship, she was usually emotional but you could always figure out why. This time however, you were completely and utterly complexed.

You still didn't understand that she was scared of losing you, even more than you were scared of losing her. You thought she knew that you were hers and only hers.

"No it isn't. Jill, please something is obviously bothering you," I pleaded and Jill sighed. "Just talk to me! Please."

"Fine," Jill sat on the ground in front of me and you gave her a little smile. "Um, okay, I want, no I need you to know that I love you," She started, stumbling over her words. "You know that I'm yours and only yours. I'd like to think that you're mine, but sometimes I get insecure. You're this amazing person and player. You're smart, kind and everyone loves you, but that's the problem I guess. Everyone loves you. Everyone." She admitted. "It's just hard. Sharing you like that."

Finally she stopped ranting and stared at me. The silence thickened as I thought about what to say, then I decided to do something that didn't involve talking and was Jill's favourite pastime.

I kissed her. I kissed her like I was leaving for a year. I kissed her like she won the world cup. I kissed her.

"I promise you that there hasn't been a day that I stopped loving you, that I stopped wanting you. I promise you that no matter what you have always stayed in my head since the first time I played eyes on you. You are mine, and I am yours. Thats it, I will always choose you, no matter the time, the place, the situation. I. Choose. You." I told Jill when we parted.

She grinned before climbing into me lap to kiss me again.

"Besides you were the main topic of conversation." I admitted to Jill

She looked at me before looking outside again "Its still snowing out. Do you wanna build a snowman?"

#jill roord #woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #jill roord imagine #jill roord x reader

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crow-in-a-teapot · 3 years

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tower of nero spoilers

i have just finished the tower of nero. and before i go searching for other people’s thoughts and art and more of the characters i love so much, i want to write down some of my own thoughts because i know as soon as i delve into that ‘ton spoilers’ hashtag there are going to be complaints and criticisms and so much that i don’t want to hear, or essays that’ll make me upset, or things that’ll change my perception on the book (because on this website people really love to hate the trials of apollo).

i want to start with: i loved it. it didn’t feel earth-shattering or huge and momentous like some of my favourite riordanverse books (house of hades, the blood of olympus, the last olympian and maybe some of the magnus chase books take those pedestals for me) but it was satisfying. and i think it was satisfying because it in no way felt like an ending. whether because eventually rick will write that will-and-nico-go-through-tartarus-and-save-bob novella, or because we (or at least i) will continue writing and imagining and creating for this world i don’t know. he didn’t wrap up the story in a perfect little bow like ‘nineteen years later’, he simply put it on pause. gave us a glimpse of where every character was at at the end.

the only thing that makes me so angry and upset is that i did manage to get some spoilers for moments that i know would have been so good to experience for the first time if i hadn’t been spoiled for them. the moment where rachel mentions penguins in a mansion near her house, nico getting mental health advice from mr d, the fact that will and nico were going to be in the book for so much of the story, but the big thing was literally spoiled for me two days ago, it was the reason i sat down to read it as fast as possible because i was terrified of getting more spoiled and not being able to experience the moments for myself, was that piper had a girlfriend. i know that reading that for the first time would have been so cool and surprising, and the fact that when it came up for a moment in the last couple pages all i felt was disappointment because it was spoiled for me and because it was now tinged with whatever that person was saying about her having a girlfriend.

but i still had some warm fuzzy moments, the two parts where apollo thinks he’s going to die but nico comes up behind him - so good. impeccable.

Leader Guy spat. ‘Now, I kill you.’

He raised his sword... and froze. His face turned pale. His skin began to shrivel. His beard fell out whisker by whisker like dead pine needles. Finally, his skin crumbled away, along with his clothes and flesh, until Leader Guy was nothing but a bleached-white skeleton, holding a sword in his bony hands.

Standing behind him, his hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, was Nico di Angelo.

and

Nero raised his hand, ready to give the kill command, when behind me a mighty BOOM! shook the chamber. Half our enemies were thrown off their feet. Cracks sprouted in the windowsand the marble columns. Ceiling tiles broke, raining dust like split bags of flour.

I turned to see the impenetrable blast doors lying twisted and broken, a strangely emaciated red bull standing in the breach. Behind it stood Nico di Angelo.

gods. poetic brilliance. i can’t believe i’m still a nico di angelo stannie in the year 2021. in five years i have not changed (ever since the tv show announcement last summer i have managed to morph into myself from 2017)

from here i’m not sure where to go next i kind of want to go through everything, except it’ll be more difficult than my tyrant’s tomb reaction because i wasn’t reading on a kindle and thus can’t just do funny little reactions to screenshots of quotes, so i’ll just skim through the book page by page and see what i can comment on (i’m not planning on doing analysis today, no thank you, just enjoying the end of my childhood and trying to squeeze as much out of it as possible)

i have an emotional attachment to mr. snake from the very first chapter, and am very upset that he’ll never get off on his baltimore stop and get to see his wife, lu had no reason to shoot and kill him like that.

that brings me to lu, i liked her, it was interesting to see how rick kind of brought in not only the overarching theme of abuse, but also people who let the abuse happen, i have more i could say on this i’m too lazy to right now, and i promised no analysis - or the fact that Lu had conspired to make the show non-lethal to spare Meg’s feelings rather than - oh, I don’t know - refusing to do Nero’s dirty work in the first place and getting Meg out of that house of horrors.

And are you any better? taunted a small voice in my brain. How many times have you stood up to Zeus?

Okay, small voice. Fair point. Tyrants are not easy to opppose or walk away from, especially when you depend on them for everything.

the parallels to meg and lester heading to percy’s apartment, and then to camp half blood to the hidden oracle was so cool to read, every callback to the hidden oracle just there to remind us readers exactly how far apollo has come and how he’s changed; the entire chapter with sally, paul and estelle just felt sickly sweet, it just didn’t seem real how wholesome and good that family is, like i get why apollo broke down and just sobbed in that shower.

also rick really saying acab again in toa, i thought he was done after that elf cop chapter in magnus chase (the magnus chase series is a masterpiece) but apparently not, with A ‘good cop’ is still a cop... still a part of the mind game.

the grey sisters, i forgot about them completely but this threw me back into was it the sea of monsters when annabeth summoned them? i’m not sure, it could have been the lightning thief either, they really remind me of the disney hercules movie. the whole ganymede paragraph was gold, i love gods being canonically confirmed lgbt in the riordanverse. i also love the whole eye-tossing part -

‘He will crush our eye,’ Anger cried, ‘if we don’t recite our verses!’

‘I will not!’

‘We will all die!’ Wasp said. ‘He is crazy!’

‘I AM NOT!’

‘Fine, you win!’ Tempest howled.

also, the explanation for why dionysus chooses to look the way he does was perfect, because it was something i often wondered about and wasn’t expecting to get an explanation for, and i imagine the whole mythological dionysus to look like.. well like a more feminine apollo i guess, beautiful in a gender non-comforming way.

Other Olympians could never comprehend why Dionysus chose this form when he could look like anything he wanted. In ancient times, he’d been famous for his youthful beauty that defied gender.

...

In retaliation, Dionysus had decided to look and act as ungodly as possible. He was like a child refusing to tuck in his shirt, comb his hair or brush his teeth, just to show his parents how little he cared.

every scene with nico at camp just BREAKS ME, i would throw in screenshots of every damn quote but unfortunately, as said above, cannot and would rather not type every one; we’ll start with, obviously apollo confirming to him that jason is dead.

He didn’t look angry exactly. He looked as if he’d been hit in the gut not just once but so many times over the course of so many years that he was beginning to lose perspective on what it meant to be in pain. He swayed on his feet. He blinked. Then he flinched, jerking his hands away from Meg’s as if he’d just remembered his own touch was poison.

ugh then will talking about how nico’s doing, confirming that he’s suffering with ptsd, mr d giving him advice, helping him sort though what voices in his head are real and which ones aren’t, then the paragraph that just recounts every horrific thing poor nico has been through, how will has to reassure him that he’s okay and ‘with friends’ when he wakes up after shadow travel

will’s kindness to apollo, buying him clothes, and apollo finding seymour the leopard’s head in his bed, put there by mr d aaaa AAAA A A A A A THE ORDINARY, EVERYDAY CAMP HALF BLOOD THINGS..

i could go on for years and years about how much i appreciate rachel having a big role in this book, and the visit to her apartment, everything, her art, the fact that she got what she wanted, she’s going to PARIS to study ART, she isn’t forced to be someone she’s not by her dad, and gets to be a big part of a demigod mission and not stand on the sidelines for once.

i love that her landscapes are still visions, that she still paints the quests demigods go on - the burning maze, jason’s funeral pyre, caligula’s ships; and how nico ~appreciates art~

‘And, hey, di Angelo -’ she pushed him playfully away from the canvas he’d been ogling - ‘don’t brush against the art! I don’t care about the paintings, but if you get any colour on you, you’ll ruin that whole black-and-white aesthetic you’ve got going.’

i. love. rachel.

WILL GLOWS!! THE HEADCANONS FROM LIKE FIVE YEARS AGO THAT YOU’D SEE FLOATING AROUND ABOUT HIM MANIPULATING LIGHT!! CONFIRMED!! CANON!! AMAZING

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE TROGS, I LOVE THEM, THEY ARE GREAT, not gonna lie, i was expecting something more dramatic and spooky with how worried will was and how dionysus was going.. visiting the cavern-runners isn’t ♫ good for your mental health ♫ but the little hat frog gremlins were a good addition. i like them very much and their funky little soup shenanigans. quoting the ghost king himself: trogs good. nice hats. (IM SORRY I KEEP MENTIONING HIM BUT I JUST) also how apollo starts wishing for breadsticks a s ajoke and theY STRAIGHT UP HAVE BREADSTICKS? HUH? WHERE DID THEY GET THE BREADSTICKS FROM??

yeah, i’m also still very much upset by every mention of jason grace, it’s funny how ever since his death in the burning maze i have grown to love him more and more and that’s not fun for me, for that boy to become one of my main comfort character’s and have his death and sacrifice and nobility mentioned every few chapters. i’m pretty sure i cried when he appeared to talk in apollo’s dreams, and this time the tears weren’t from the effort of keeping my eyes open and working for hours straight reading this book (i remember staying up until 2am to finish the sequel to beautiful, broken things, it was very much worth it)

‘All right, Jason. We miss you, though.’

ALSO. THE FACT THAT THIS KID. THIS CHILD. HAD TO THINK ‘BUT IF A HERO ISN’T READY TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR A GREATER CAUSE, IS THAT PERSON REALLY A HERO?’ A KID ISN’T SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND BE READY TO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR THE GREATER GOOD,, i,, ugh,, he’s supposed to be finishing school and designing temples not being the perfect hero and soldier,, spain without the s,,

as @couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name said: ‘thinking about how ghost! Jason didn’t seem to understand why Apollo was so upset about his death because he’s been raised to believe a hero’s sacrifice is noble and his life doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and also if he doesn’t understand why the person who watched him get horrifically killed is so torn up over his death he probably doesn’t even realize his other friends are grieving him..’

IM SO UPSET THE ARROW OF DODONA IS DEAD D: IT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS ALL THE FUNNIEST MOMENTS WERE BECAUSE OF THAT ARROW AND IT'S DEATH WAS SO SAD WTH LIKE WE FIND OUT HOW USELESS THE ARROW FELT AND HOW THE GROVE OF DODONA ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CRAP AND WOULD FAIL APOLLO AND THEN ONCE WE FEEL BAD FOR IT, IT DIES??

the entire python battle was pretty grim, there is a part of me that's like because this is the last book series i would have loved say the magnus chase and kane chronicles gang in a giant battle with everyone like the battle of manhattan but even more dramatic, but even so, i did appreciate that python battle and the whole almost-falling-into-the-depths-of-tartarus thing.

him talking to artemis was cool, but JESUS: 'I turned and strode out of my room, trying to recall how the god Apollo walked.' like that HURTS. it was such a huge culture shock for apollo to go throught this huge character arc and be so human and understand the pain of others, to be around gods again who are so.. apathetic. also, zeus. 'Interesting how he put that: I had done him proud. I had been useful in making him look good. My heart did not melt. I did not feel that this was a warm-and-fuzzy reconciliation with my father. Let's be honest: some fathers don't deserve that. Some aren't capable of it.'

OKAY OKAY SO THE END?? CHIRON TALKING TO A CAT (BAST) AND A SEVERED HEAD (MIMIR) ABOUT SHARED PROBLEMS WITHIN THE PANTHEONS!! WILL AND NICO RECEIVING A PROPHECY FROM RACHEL TO GO TO TARTARUS AND SAVE BOB!! THE HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS, INCLUDING THALIA AND REYNA BEING BEST FRIENDS (qpr.. qpr..) HUNTING THE TEUMESSIAN FOX!! PERCY, ANNABETH AND GROVER, THE ORIGINAL TRIO, GOING ON A CHAOTIC ROAD TRIP TOGETHER!! - SO MANY STAND-ALONE SET -UPS PFSJSJSJ

okay quick word on the reunions at the end: funny little elephant visitation program with livia and hannibal. love that for them. calypso and leo's relationship seems rocky and complicated, but that's to be expected, i think even if they do get properly back together again it might not last long, because it does pretty much feel like a teenage relationship where the two aren't very compatible, but we'll see. hazel and frank are so funny with their gold plated necklaces. lavinia - tap-dance icon. almost cried at the mention of jason's temple-extension plan again. percy not being sure about what he wants to do in college is accurate and i like that that's left to be up-for-interpretation (rick does THE MOST for the fanfic writers pfsjsj). i am OBSESSED with aeithales, like i hate deserts so the burning maze setting is not my favourite but GOD that HOUSE, the vibes are off-the-charts. i'd love a house made of living trees that's also a greenhouse filled with dryads. meg gets a unicorn. that is so great.

i kind of wish the book hadn't ended with 'Call on me. I will be there for you.' because every time I imagine the friends theme song and i don't think that's the vibe he was going for, BUT i do love him talking to meg, that was genuinely emotional - 'You'll come back?' she asked. 'Always,' I promised. 'The sun always comes back.' ; i really wish it had ended with that, but i guess apollo does tend to break fourth walls and talk to the readers, like a lot of the protagonists of riordanverse books.

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amelia · 3 years

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related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i’m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)

it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do

i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through

i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3

other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3

number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.

and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.

she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.

number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!

um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.

beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.

i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE

number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)

but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.

ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃

also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!

( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )

honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long

#i literally do apologize for how long this got but you have to understand i was holding myself back .#she is…. everything. to me. i could keep going for so long #amy pond #ask #jonismitchell

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morwensteelsheen · 3 years

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farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

#god this is probably obnoxiously long because i can't do cuts on my phone #but refuse to open the tumblr website on my laptop lmao #faramir #éowyn #boromir #théodred #farawyn #borodred #god sorry for these fucking tags man im just trying to make my blog slightly more organised #i just have a lot of thoughts #i should really write more metas it would probably help my writing out quite a bit #asks #meta

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rosereview · 3 years

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Book of the Month (Mar): A Court of Silver Flames

Okay that was a crazy ride… holy mother sh*t. I don’t even know where to start and I have so many thoughts it feels like my heart and head will explode. Just like my Chain of Gold review (which you can find on my post page) this will probably be long and full of spoilers so sorry in advance, but I just need to get it out. Also these are the other books I read in March (it was a crazy month with a SJM and Cassie Clare book!):

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas (5 stars)

Chain of Iron by Cassandra Clare (5 stars)

Siren’s Lament Season 2 by instantmiso (5 stars)

Frankenstein 1818 edition by Mary Shelley (unrated)

Characters

So to start I of course need to talk about Nesta, her being one of the main characters, but also because it’s NESTA. Like many people, I hated Nesta for all of the previous books. Like actually hated. She just made me so mad. The only time and reason I didn’t totally hate her was during the war in ACOWAR and mostly because I wanted Cassian to be happy and I could tell they were mates. But after that, especially in ACOFAS, I disliked Nesta so much it hurt. For her whole life she (and Elain, but I’ll get to her later) just let and expected Feyre to do everything for them and keep them alive. And after all of that, she blamed Feyre for being Made into a Fae, when Feyre was literally the only reason she was alive. As an older sibling myself, that made me so mad. I would never rely on my younger sibling because I would do everything in my power to keep them safe and provided for (like what Nesta did for Elain, which also riled me up because Feyre never got the same treatment). Going into this book I was worried that this whole thing was going to be about Nesta being a whiny bitch, but instead, the redeeming feature of Nesta, was her knowledge and acknowledgment of how shitty of a sister she’s been. I know that it took her a long time to actually be nice again, but I was happy that she actually knew that she was being terrible and deep down wanted to be better. She wasn’t just being terrible because she felt entitled which was the vibe I got from her before, but instead was terrible because she thought it was too late to get better. After that I thought her journey was very relatable and heart wrenching. While I still was mad every time she got mad and was mean to Feyre or any of the Night Court group, I could still sympathize how she felt like she was intruding on their family and that she didn’t fit in.

Now let’s talk about Cassian— I love him. That’s about it. JK… Okay, I have always loved Cassian, but this book made me appreciate him in a more emotional way. All of his insecurities had me crying for him while relating to him so well too, and when we heard more about his mother and how when he was younger he didn’t get physical touch which is why now he always needs physical touch… MY HEART COULDN’T HANDLE IT! God, that was such a precious moment when he needed to hug and kiss Feyre’s forehead, because that’s how he best shows affection and needs affection warmed my heart in so many ways, but also made me cry. And although it hurt me when Cassian would doubt himself and feel lesser because he was born a bastard, I still felt that pain brought Nesta and him closer in more ways. It wasn’t just him helping her, but she helped him too, and both allowed each other to grow on their own but also together. I fucking loved that.

Relationships

Now I’m just going to jump right into relationships, because I feel like individual characters besides Nesta and Cassian can only really be talked about through their relationships with other characters since it was only Nesta and Cassian’s povs in the book.

So first let’s talk about (obviously) Nesta and Cassian— I mean I already started to talk about them together above, but this book was so powerful for me because of the way the two of them worked together to heal themselves. That was beautiful. But also it is a tiny bit annoying how both Feyre and Nesta were unaware of their frickin mate bonds! I know, I know… neither were born Fae so they don’t have the same knowledge of the mate bonds that everyone else does, but come on! I knew Nesta and Cassian were mates since they first met! And I know that it definitely wouldn’t have been smart or healthy for Nesta to accept the mate bond at the beginning, but at the end when she still has to talk to Cassian like he isn’t her mate, after they literally consummated the mate bond on several occasions, I was kind of annoyed. I know it was still part of her growth, but also wild that she still was playing dumb like that. But I’m happy they finally admitted everything at the end.

Next let’s discuss the Archeron sisters— So really their relationship at the start just made me sad, seeing none of them get along (except Feyre and Elain). Especially since I still kind of felt like everyone should just be falling at Feyre’s feet and apologizing about how terrible they were for mostly her whole life (even Elain, since she also never helped keep them alive in the human world. Really she was just as bad as Nesta but wasn’t an outright bitch about it). But even though Nesta was encouraging nasty behaviour from them (because she was also being mean) Feyre and Elain both were just as mean to her sometimes. I mean, when Elain went to the house and Nesta and her got in an argument, Elain was just as harsh as Nesta was to her. But I guess Elain has just never been my favourite person. I’m still a little pissed how both Feyre and Nesta do everything for her and she just sits still and looks pretty, but I’m betting that will change in future books. Anyways, I was very happy at the end of the book that all three sisters got on good terms and even went to visit their father’s grave together. That last scene got me pretty emotional.

Nesta & Emerie & Gwyn— In contrast with the Archeron sisters’ relationship, I loved this new friendship that Nesta found with Emerie and Gwyn. I think now that Nesta found those two, she really appreciates the relationship between family that isn’t blood, because they are now like her sisters too. I loved both Emerie and Gwyn so much in this book and I was so happy that Nesta found them and let them into her life. Feyre found a family in the Inner Night Court, and Nesta found her own people with her Valkyries, and that felt very poetic to me. The family you choose is the family that sticks with you forever (although you can choose blood family too, and I’m glad Nesta found her way back to Feyre and Elain, but I’m glad she found more family too).

Nesta & Amren— Okay, this relationship had me very mad for most of the book because I just wanted to scream at Nesta so bad! I can’t believe that Nesta got mad for “choosing” Feyre’s side, when literally Feyre and Amren were family first! Amren and Feyre were close and part of the Night Court family before Nesta came in, and even though I was happy that Nesta was making friends with Amren, she can’t get mad at Amren for being friends with Feyre too! Especially since she was friends with Feyre first! Again, not saying that Amren and Nesta being friends was a bad thing, I just got mad that Nesta was being so weird about it when she has no claim on Amren to be just her friend. Sorry I just had to get that off my chest, but I am happy that both of them seem to be friends again now :)

Nesta & Rhysand— Throughout the book I totally understood both Nesta and Rhysand being unfriendly to each other, but boy was I in tears when Rhysand fell to his knees before Nesta because of what he did for Feyre. That was the most beautiful brother-in-law/sister-in-law moment in the entire world. Really I don’t want to even talk about Nesta and Rhys’s relationship in most of this book because I feel like that’s now in the past, I just want to focus on their amazing family relationship going forward, because now they will be in-laws from both sides (Feyre and Nesta being sisters, and Rhys and Cassian being brothers).

Nesta & the House— This was a beautiful relationship and I was beyond happy that Nesta became best friends with the House. Super heart-warming and those are honestly my only thoughts. I can’t wait to see more of Nesta and the House in the future!

Cassian & Rhys & Azriel— Again, I just love the three of them! Their brotherly bond is adorable, but it also makes my heart break when they all take on each other's pain, because it’s just so beautiful and sad at the same time. I don’t know how else to explain it. When Cass and Az still feel hurt about not being able to help Rhys when he was underneath the mountain, and the pain Rhys and Az feels for Cass’s past, and the same for Az’s past. It’s beautiful but sad because I can just feel the love they have for each other and the true pain they feel and it hurts me too.

The Night Court Inner Circle— This is also just a short pop in to say how much I love this whole family together: Rhys, Az, Cass, Feyre, Mor, Amren, and now Nesta, Elain, and Nyx. They are all a big beautiful family that makes my heart ache just thinking about them. I can’t wait for more scenes about all of them interacting with baby Nyx, because that will kill me and give my life again in the best way possible (again not sure if that made sense, but that’s the only way to explain it).

And for the big finale in relationships… my Elain/Azriel/Lucien/Gwyn thoughts— to start off, I’m not dissing any ship anyone makes and I think all thoughts are valid. But I don’t know, for some reason I just don’t think Az and Elain are meant for each other. I just think it’s too obvious and cliché (for lack of a better word) to have all three brothers fall in love with all three sisters. BUT I also see how it is obvious and cliché to have mates end up together too. So I really don’t know what to expect. But one thing is for sure— and again no hate please— but I totally understand why Elain and Lucien are mates and “equals”. Throughout this book it is mentioned multiple times that Elain doesn’t belong in the Night Court while Nesta definitely does (like the scene where they visit the Court of Nightmares but I do remember it being mentioned other times as well). This also explains why Azriel’s shadows don’t go close to Elain, because she literally represents light. Lucien on the other hand, is literally the son and heir to Helion, High Lord of the Day Court (even if he is unaware at the moment), the ambassador to the Spring Court (full of light and flowers), and ambassador to the human lands, somewhere Elain misses very much. I know none of this should mean he has any claim to her, but it definitely makes sense why they would be considered mates and “equals”, because Lucien’s birth and life matches the light that Elain represents. Just some food for thought. And concerning Gwyn and Az, I just think they would be really cute together, honestly. I think that Az being the first one to rescue Gwyn on the most traumatic day of her life is significant, and will have something to do with Gwyn’s own healing in some way, but of course that doesn’t have to mean sexual or romantic. I thought both of the extra bonus scenes at the end of ACOSF (yes I’ve read both) are really setting up for the next book which will cover Elain and Az’s journeys, but I don’t think that means they will get together. I thought Rhys’s comment about Elain in the Feysand one was very true, and Elain isn’t the innocent helpless girl we’ve been made to believe. I think she has a lot to share from her own story, and I think that Az needs to have his moment in the spotlight too.

Plot

Lastly, let’s talk about plot, which is essentially the next war that may be gearing up to happen. I hope for all of my babies’ sakes it won’t happen and it’ll just be a little negotiation and everything will be well, but I have a feeling that won’t happen. This dude in this lake is very intriguing though (sorry, can’t remember his name) and I’m excited to see what will happen next. But most importantly, I think in the future a lot of shit will happen with Mor too, because since she was gone so much in this book I think that’s SJM getting us ready for a big Mor moment. I have a feeling there was more to her negotiating on the other continent than we know about yet, and also I feel like there's something more about what happened with her and Eris that I’m excited to find out about.

I just feel like this was more of a character driven book (which are my favourite books) than a plot driven book, and a lot of the information we learned in ACOSF will be more important in the future books. So for now, I’m okay with not talking about it (although side note, I’m really happy that crone queen bitch is dead. I did not like her!)

So thanks for reading till the end if you did. Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors; I’m too tired to read over this.

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews

#a court of silver flames #sarahjmaas #a court of silver flames spoiler #acosf spoilers #acosf #acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #elain archeron #feyre archeron #rhysand #azriel #amren #morrigan #lucien

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spnwatch · 3 years

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Season 2: The Rankings

Whew. Oh boy.

They were still puttering about in season 1 to an extent. But now? Now they’ve really hit their stride. This season was a veritable chocolate box of delights and I ate my way through it. The overall myth arc was kind of nonsensical, but that emotional throughline? Christ. Spn buries SO MUCH emotional complexity into its leads, and they cashed in every cent in that two part finale. It packs one hell of a punch. And yeah, okay, I knew the broad strokes, the twists and turns. It’s hard not to be spoilered for a season of tv that aired over a decade ago. But reader! It mattered not!! I. Still. Wept. That’s when you know it’s the good kush. 1.) 2x12: NIGHTSHIFTER. This one just snagged the top spot by merit of its sheer ambition. Supernatural often feels like a very empty universe to me, just two guys and one car drifting from place to place. Which is fine, it makes for compelling TV, but they totally flipped the script here and this episode really dazzles precisely because of that contrast. It’s a huge, cinematic episode, a metropolitan setting full of uncontrollable elements, and it’s great to see Sam and Dean so profoundly vulnerable. The outside world is pressing up against the windows. They have sniper dots trained on them! They are, literally and figuratively, out of their depth! We’re not in Kansas any more, baby. God, I haven’t even mentioned the supporting characters. The entire mandroid rant deserves an Emmy. Victor Henrickson’s entrance! Heist movie antics! Agh! 10/10

2.) 2x07: THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Again this episode was a cut above precisely because it showed us what the brothers look like from the outside: sketchy as all hell. It’s so good when reality ensures, because it’s great to be reminded they lead objectively insane lives! Through Linda Blair’s eyes we get to see just how unknowable, feral and amoral they appear to the eyes of polite society. Put under a microscope like this, they’re scary guys! They’re just not socialised like normal people. They don’t really care about being arrested, or about the felonies. Getting arrested is an irritant above everything else. They’re still working the case from the inside. They’re professionals; excellent liars, and totally in sync with each other. The handwritten notes they pass, like delinquent school kids! A delight! The thrill lies in watching Blair slowly unwrap their strange logic, and unravel the mystery of both the brothers and the ghost. Ugh, what a great perspective shift. I’m 100% here for it. 10/10

3.) 2x09: CROATOAN. Ugh, this setting. Small Town Gothic, complete with eerie mist, hostile locals and creepy Stepford vibes. Sam really shone in this episode. He’s so soothing and giant, and it made his suffering at the end all the more devastaing. The real reason this episode ranks so highly is their conversation in the surgery. It just killed me. Dean’s sheer, bone-deep exhaustion, his admission that he’s tired of the life. Sam’s despair, because he knows Dean won’t leave. The performances were so steller. I can’t even really think too deeply about it because it makes me too crazy. 10/10

4.) 2x21: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART ONE. I loved this finale so much more than the finale in Season 1, LOL. It might just be because I’m more invested now, who knows. The opening of this episode is a piece of art: Boston playing on the car stereo, the rain, the small cafe, the lighting. Gorgeous. I love when they have to interact with ordinary people! It adds so much: texture, humour, personality! It draws things out of Sam and Dean that we just don’t see when they have each other to bounce off of. It was so good to see Ava and Andy again. “I just woke up in freakin’ Frontierland!” The gang’s all here, folks! This episode would rank higher, but recieves minus points for the long boring speech the demon gives Sam, and killing off the first gay in the show 0.2 seconds after her introduction. Anyway. The ending of course unzipped me; Dean cradling Sam’s dead body, muttering “It’s okay, it’s not even that bad.” The elation of their reunion, so devastaingly cut short! Sam, twenty two years old, bleeding out in the mud. The sheer, hopelessness of it all. The horror. My notes for the end of the episode simply read: “Dean oh Christ. Oh my God. Oh no.” It’s just one of those scenes that stay with you long after the credits start rolling. 9/10

5.) 2x20: WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE. I never thought I could be so profoundly upset by watching a man happily mowing a lawn. Dean’s trauma over the loss of his mother has undercut the whole show up until this point, and here it bursts to the fore. What really got me was the simplicity of it all. Just a sit-down dinner, an engagement. A beer on the porch. Fuck, he deserves it. He deserves everything. All the performances were great, they really served to show there’s a whole life in these AU characters. The fact it wasn’t all perfect was bizarrely more devastating. AU Sam’s weird straight hair and dorky jacket sealed the deal for me, as did his baffled terror in the warehouse. But even here, with no training and no idea what’s happening, he gets into the Impala! Because that’s his brother! Because I’m a huge baby I had to remove points because of how upsetting I found Sam’s quiet hostility towards Dean, HA. But that’s really just a testament to how well-realised their dynamic has become by the second season. 9/10

6.) 2x15: TALL TALES. Every single thing Sam does in any of Dean’s memories. Also alien slowdance set to “Lady in Red.” Also Bobby breaking them up like they’re petulant children. Gold, all of it gold. 9/10

7.) 2x11: PLAYTHINGS. So I’m a slut for a cool setting, obviously. Turns out, Supernatural did The Haunting of Bly Manor fifteen years ago. The swimming pool! The attic! Creepy dolls! The weird little playground! This episode has it all! I loved the saga between the ghost sister and the old lady, which would honestly make a killer movie in its own right. But I’m digressing. The main star of this episode was, of course, Dean’s profound and escalating sexual insecurities. “Well, you are kinda butch. People probably think you’re overcompensating.” FATALITY. I would’ve placed this one higher but the weird incestuous undertones kinda squicked me out... however, I did think we were meant to be creeped out by it, which is more than I can say for some other uh. Instances. It was, after all, beautifully paralelled at the end with the two sisters reuniting in death. “I can’t leave here, and you can’t leave me.” SHUDDER. Also, honestly, can Sam have one (1) breakdown on his own without Dean’s own emotional baggage taking over? Older siblings, smh. 9/10

8.) 2x22: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART TWO. This one ranks lower than part one purely because I thought the yellow-eyed demon’s overall plot was kinda nonsensical, and I cared not for John’s weird deux ex machina moment. Like do you expect me to feel sorry for that bitch? I don’t! Anyway, that being said, let’s move on to Dean’s eyes in the junkyard when Bobby asks him, “do you have that low an opinion of yourself?” They’re so flat. So dead, like a shark’s. He doesn’t need to say anything back, because it’s all over his face. That non-expression says it all. This is the culmination of the emotional arc that began with his savage beatdown of the Impala in episode 2x02. To call it survivor’s guilt wouldn’t even begin to cover what Dean goes through this episode. It’s all in Ackles’ performance; in the the way he yells, “What am I supposed to do now, Sammy?” The complete claustrophobia of it all. There’s nothing for it but to make the deal. Dean’s been moving inexorably towards this moment for the entire season. 9/10

9.) 2x13: HOUSES OF THE HOLY. What a kooky little episode! Magic fingers! Sam’s costcutter seance purchases! The scooby-doo placemat he uses as a makeshift altar! I love him, your honour. Obviously this episode has a lot of *~dramatic irony~* in it because of the later seasons, but it stands alone as a total banger. I was so gutted for Sam when the "angel” was revealed. So many good little Sam moments to be found in this episode. His soft, quiet little revelation that he prays every day. His awkward, earnest explanation to the horrified priest! Dean gets some great moments chasing down the would-be rapist down those dark, snow-covered streets. His speech to Sam where he explains his lack of belief is brief, but it’s a total gut punch. Rounding it off with Knockin on Heaven’s Door was just the cherry on top. 9/10

10.) 2x14: BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN. Ahaha I love the way Dean acts whenever Sam’s psychic powers come up. He treats him like a rebellious teen, it’s so funny. “What’s going on with you, Sam? Smokin’, drinkin’?” As if Sam’s behaviour was a) at all under his control or b) anything Dean wouldn’t HIMSELF do. Dean’s just like, this isn’t how I raised you! Truly hysterical. The whole sequence between Meg!Sam and Jo was fantastic and horrible. Sam’s huge physique is never threatening, but it really was in that moment. The interplay between them was totally spine-tingling. Meg’s impression Sam slowly crumbling away over the course of the episode was so compelling and I’m sure it will be a really fun rewatch now I know the *twist*. 9/10

Favourite lines this season:

The way Sam says “black cat’s bone” in 2x08

“You’re not gonna go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?!” - Dean, 2x13

“Dean, this is a very serious investigation, we don’t have time for your blah blah blah blah.” - Sam (according to Dean), 2x15

“I’m fine, except for every single thing that’s happening.” - Ava, 2x21

#I feel like I'm exposing myself as a sam girl here #I love them equally I swear #supernatural #there's so much i left out like my comprehensive love for JO #what does she have? A KNIFE #I just didn't really dig NO EXIT as an episode sadly #spnwatch

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aredhel85 · 4 years

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Took me a while (almost 20 years) but I finally wrote a fanfic about one of my favourite pairings ❤

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637302

~Care~

It wasn’t the first time Clark seriously contemplated blurting out the change in his relationship with Lex. And now, sitting in front of the TV with his parents on late afternoon, it also wasn’t the first time he decided that it was a better idea not to do that just yet.

How could he tell them that two months ago his best friend had become so much more when his father already hated said friendship? He was only 17 and would be for several months more. If his father wanted to stop Clark and Lex from seeing each other – and he would want to – he would probably hardly see his now boyfriend until he was 18 and at the moment that seemed like the worst outcome possible.

So he kept his mouth shut despite wanting nothing more than share his happiness with his parents.

While he was still thinking about this, the roar of an engine with a lot of horsepower could be heard in their driveway.

Surprised, Clark looked up to see Lex’s new black Lamborghini there. What was he doing here at that time? Only yesterday he had lamented about how he was going to spend the whole afternoon and probably early evening in a meeting that would be so boring that it would possibly result in brain death.

And yet here he was.

Usually Clark would have smiled in anticipation to see him, but there was so much wrong right now.

It had started with his driving. Usually Lex did his best to drive reasonably when there was a chance that Jonathan Kent was around. The frown on his father’s face told Clark that he did not consider the roaring engine, the speed or the full break in front of the house reasonable.

Also, Clark knew the look on Lex’s face, sure, but thankfully it had never been directed at him or his family. Clark swallowed hard. Now there was no one else and the blank look on his face, the stony expression in his eyes as he swiftly walked towards the farm house could only be aimed at one of them.

The door swung open. None of the usual politeness Lex always displayed towards the Kents, despite Jonathan’s own rude behaviour. The door slammed shut and Clark flinched involuntarily.

When Lex came into the living room, Jonathan was already on his feet, glaring at him. “What the hell is this about, Luthor?”

Martha and Clark exchanged uncomfortable and puzzled glances.

“We need to talk, Mr. Kent. All of us.”

As if owning the place, Lex walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, on which he placed a white envelope which Clark hadn’t noticed before, obviously expecting to be joined by the Kents.

Everyone followed him, although it was easy to tell that Jonathan was fuming.

Lex looked at him with an icy cold expression that made Clark almost shiver. What the hell was wrong? He knew how very much Lex wanted to be accepted by Clark’s family. Why was he behaving like this?

When he spoke, his voice was steel. “I don’t care what you are keeping from me. I don’t care why my Porsche was opened up as if someone had used a giant can opener on it. I also don’t that no one wants to tell me why Clark is capable of getting from here to my mansion within seconds when he thinks I might be in any danger. I don’t care if it’s because of the meteor rocks, healthy diet or because he’s an alien from outer space.” He cut off Jonathan’s attempt to speak by simply lifting his hand. His voice, if was possible, grew even colder. “I would, however, appreciate it, if you applied the same amount of care to other aspects of your lives.”

He pushed the envelope towards them. “That’s what I received this morning together with a letter that I already disposed of.”

Gingerly, a very pale Martha Kent took the envelope and Clark felt physically ill when he saw pictures of himself, lifting Jonathan’s car, so he could easily change the tires. Pictures of him lifting the tractor so Jonathan could once more repair the old thing.

One look at his parents told him that they just as horrified as he was.

“Burn them and don’t worry about it.”

Dumbfounded, they all looked up at Lex again.

Clark didn’t understand. Don’t worry about it? Someone knew about him! Someone had seen this and there were photos to prove it! How could he not be worried?

“If you look again, the negatives are also in the envelope.”

“But … the person who made these … what will he do?” Martha’s voice was fearful, more fearful than Clark had ever heard her.

“He’s busy buying his own private island for all I know. Or new trousers to begin with.” Lex leaned back and looked at them. “I paid his price. And the money came with the clear indication of what will happen to him if he messes with you again.”

“What did you pay?” Jonathan’s voice was very quiet and all colour had left his face.

“It doesn’t matter. That’s not the point Mr. Kent. The point is that there were far too many lucky coincidences for my taste.” He leaned forward again, his forearms on the table, looking Jonathan firmly in the eyes. “First, this person was from Smallville, he knew Clark and I are friends, which is why he came to me in the first place. Otherwise he might have gone to the government, some lab or scientists, or worst case: my father. The government or labs I might be able to bribe or threaten, although there will certainly be some who would give their right hand to lay the other on Clark, but as soon as my father is behind it, there’s nothing I will be able to do. There’s no way in the world I could convince him to give up on something like that.”

He allowed them a moment to let this sink in, then he continued. His voice wasn’t as cold anymore, but still very matter-of-factly. His face didn’t show any emotions. “Then there’s the fact that my assistant usually opens my mail and as the envelope was only addressed to Lex Luthor and not marked confidential or personal or whatever, she would have opened it and then someone else would have seen the pictures. I generally trust her, but with this …” He gestured to the photos that still lay on the table and trailed off. “Fortunately, she called in sick this morning and as I was waiting for an important document, I opened the mail myself.” He sighed. “As I said, too many lucky coincidences. You may feel save on your farm, but it is not exactly Fort Knox.”

Clark couldn’t remember ever feeling so miserably in his entire life.

Well, in fact, he did remember one occasion. Two months ago, when he had confessed his feelings to Lex, his friend’s reaction had been … no reaction at all, then a feeble excuse for having to leave immediately and 24 hours of radio silence. Clark had sent him like 20 text and speech messages, apologizing, begging him to call, reassuring him that he would not bring this up again, as long as he hadn’t ruined their friendship.

Then Lex had turned up in Clark’s loft in the barn, said he was sorry, but he didn’t think that this was a good idea. As it had turned out, it hadn’t been because Lex didn’t feel the same way, but because the men in his family had a history of making their partners unhappy, to say it mildly. He had been afraid to start a relationship with someone he truly cared about because he might end up hurting this person, hurting Clark. Clark had reassured him that he trusted him more than anybody, except his parents, had told him over and over again, that Lex wasn’t like his father or any other Luthor before that, that he was a good person. Eventually, Lex had given in, under the condition, that Clark would immediately tell him, if he did something wrong.

And now he had been the one who had paid what was probably an absurd amount of money for their thoughtlessness, who had obviously dropped all work today, including an important meeting, because he had had to get that money, bring it to the one who had taken the pictures and make sure that this guy would not bother them again. And now Clark also understood the reason for his behaviour earlier.

He had spent the day terrified. Terrified that something wouldn’t go according to plan, that something would go wrong when handing over of the money or that this would happen again and this time it would not be Lex who’d receive the photos. And Lex never showed fear, least of all in front of anyone who wasn’t Clark. So he had chosen anger instead. And to be fair, they deserved it.

There was something else that weighed heavily on him: He hadn’t told Lex his secret yet. He had planned to, but he had been too afraid. Not because he didn’t trust Lex, there was something else he feared much more than betrayal.

For at least a minute or two now, everyone had been silent, nobody seemed to know what to say, so Clark said very, very quietly “Alien from outer space”, quoting Lex from earlier, not looking up.

He knew everyone was staring at him.

Typically, it was Lex who found his voice first. “Come again?”

Now he looked up met into his boyfriend’s eyes. If he was still his boyfriend or even his friend. Who wanted to be with someone who wasn’t even from the same planet? “I’m an alien. I’m not from this planet, my ship came down with the meteorites.” Before Lex could say anything, he continued in a rushed voice, his tone begging Lex to believe his next words. “I didn’t not tell you because I don’t trust you, I was afraid you’d run for the hills as soon as you found out. Or at least for Metropolis. And that I’d never see you again. You’ve been … my best friend for almost three years. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

For a moment Lex just stared at him, then the corners of his lips twitched upward ever so slightly. “Clark, I’m disappointed you still underestimate my nerves. Why would I run? My father is the literal devil – do you see me running? A mere alien can’t shock me.”

Clark couldn’t help it, a small laugh escaped him and Lex finally gave him a real smile. He knew Lex well enough to interpret this reaction the right way. He didn’t hate him, not for being careless, not for keeping this from him.

He wouldn’t lose him for being what he was.

To his surprise, even Martha escaped a giggle. It might have been a little hysterical, but nobody commented on that.

Only Jonathan remained silent, thoughtful.

When everyone else was quiet again, it was he who spoke. “I don’t know … how to thank you for that.” He looked at Lex. “You’re right, I’ve been careless and that endangered him needlessly. And considering I will never be able to pay you back, I’m not sure I want to know what amount you paid today.” He was clearly ashamed of this.

“Mr. Kent.” Lex’s voice was calm again. “Please don’t worry about the money. That was the least of my concerns today. And you don’t have to thank me. I know you don’t think very highly of me, but I wasn’t thinking of the money when I came here admittedly a little angrily. I just want you to be more careful. If you believe it or not, Clark is very important to me and I don’t want anything to happen to him. And please don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about what he just told me.”

Jonathan sighed, leaning back, but never taking his eyes off Lex. “I think I owe you an apology.” His voice was still quiet, but also very sincere. He held Lex’s gaze. “The way I’ve treated you from day one is unforgivable. To assume that you’re like your father without knowing you was highly unfair. You probably shouldn’t even forgive me for that. Still, thank you for being a good friend to Clark. I certainly wasn’t helping.”

Clark felt the sting of tears behind his eyes. He had wanted this so much and being able to read Lex’s body language, even if to most people he had the perfect poker face, he could easily tell that this meant just as much to him as it did to Clark.

“Thank you, Mr. Kent.” His voice was quiet, controlled, but maybe a bit too controlled. Even to his parents this should be obvious. “And don’t worry. There have always been people who judged me for my name and there probably always will be. You’re the first to apologize, though, so in my book we’re good.”

God, how much Clark wanted to hug him right now!

He took a deep breath. It was probably now or never. Before he could think about it too much, he spoke up again. “Ok, I guess it’s time for another big revelation.” He looked from his parents to Lex and couldn’t help but grin broadly. “Is that panic in your eyes, Mr. Luthor? I’m shocked.”

Lex raised his eyebrows. “Does your father really own a shotgun?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s loaded.”

“Great,” he commented drily.

Clark looked back at his parents who just gave him confused looks, although he was pretty sure there was something more than confusion in his mother’s eyes. Had she guessed already?

“Well, Lex and I … We’re not just … friends anymore.” He gave them a sheepish half-smile. “We’ve been more for … like two months. I love him.” The last sentence had come out without any stammer or hesitation. He did love Lex and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. And he desperately wished for his parents to approve.

The silence that followed was broken by Lex’s steady voice. “And I love your son.”

Clark’s smile grew wider and he reached across the table to grab Lex’s hand and was rewarded with a gentle squeeze.

His parents exchanged glances, then Jonathan sighed. “Well, does anyone else need a drink?”

“Yes, please.” Lex didn’t let go of Clark’s hand as he said this and probably had no idea how much his boyfriend appreciated the gesture. He knew Lex wasn’t big on showing his feelings in front of other people.

“I take one, too”, Martha said as she smiled at the two of them.

“Me too.”

“Nice try, buddy.” Jonathan looked pointedly at his son, got up and turned around. Then he once more turned back to the table to look at Lex. “You don’t let him drink at your place, do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Dad, I was joking.” Clark rolled his eyes.

Jonathan just nodded, left the room and returned with of what Clark was sure had to be the cheapest Whiskey Lex had ever touched.

To his boyfriend’s credit, he didn’t say a word as he let go of Clark’s hand to accept the glass Jonathan offered.

Martha did the same and they all enjoyed their drink.

Well, some more than others, Clark observed, as Lex took a sip and casually put the glass down in front of him on the table. Clark bit back a grin.

“This is really serious for you? Believe me, I’m not trying to offend you again, Lex. I just want to make sure. You’re an experienced man und Clark is … well, 17.”

“I know, Sir. And I assure you that until some months ago it wasn’t anything but friendship. But even then, Clark was the most important person in my life. This couldn’t be more serious for me.”

Clark gave him a somewhat watery smile and Jonathan nodded. “I guess I’ve been an idiot for long enough, so I’m not going to start again. Just treat him well.”

“I will, Sir.”

“And don’t call me Sir or Mr. Kent. Jonathan will do fine.”

“And I’m Martha. Do you want to stay for dinner, Lex?” She smiled a little hesitantly. “I’m afraid it won’t be anything special, I didn’t know we’d have a guest. Just chicken with mashed potatoes and fried corn.”

Lex smiled at her and Clark could see the warmth behind it. It was not the open smile he reserved for Clark when they were alone, but it also wasn’t the mere polite smile he gave other people that never reached his eyes. Was it possible to love him even more? Yes, Clark decided, it obviously was.

“Clark has been gushing about your cooking ever since I’ve known him, Mrs. … Martha. I’d love to stay, thank you.”

She smiled happily and got up to get dinner started.

“Do you need help with the potatoes, mum?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind, honey.”

Clark noticed that Jonathan and Lex went to the living room and a little worried he used his strong hearing to make sure they wouldn’t fight again.

Clark heard how both men took a seat, then Jonathan spoke up. “I hope you don’t mind me asking. Are you sure this guy with the photos won’t make any trouble?”

“Absolutely.” He heard the smile in Lex’s voice. It was a good thing the knife he was peeling the potatoes with couldn’t hurt him. “You know I wasn’t kidding when I said the first thing he’s going to is buying new trousers.”

At this Jonathan burst out laughing and Lex joined him.

Clark stopped listening and concentrated on dinner, a big smile on his lips.

#smallville #clark kent #lex luthor #clex #fanfiction #my fics #fluff and angst #but only a little angsty

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ae0nx · 5 years

Text

FRUITS BASKET ‘19 EPISODE 24 VS FRUITS BASKET ‘01 24-26 (PART 2)

Link to Part 1 here

So just to start it off again... I just wanna reiterate...

When I think of the True Form Arc, I think three simple points are vital to be shown:

Kyo’s true form is to be revealed to the audience and to Tohru

Kyo’s past with Kazuma and his mother/(partly)father

Tohru still accepting Kyo and declaring her love need for them to be together and share each other’s pain and joy

Also, if you’re more invested in my review of the 2019 version, scroll further down as most of this is gonna be the 2001 rewritten bits recap. Sorry?

-------------------------------

- Again, I really appreciate that the 2001 version left us with that pre-transformation cliffhanger. It’s a really great separation and keeps us on the edge of our seats. Plus, gives the horror and effects of Kyo’s transformation much needed time. I love the 2019 version too but it could’ve been excellent with a WHOLE episode dedicated to Kyo’s true form transformation rather than just half of one... Plus, aren’t these events are supposed to take course during an entire night leading into morning?

I can’t decide which iteration of the Kyo transformation I like the most. I just know that the manga version doesn’t live up to the animated versions...

They’re both pretty horrifying and scary and look incredibly painful. I’d probably give it to ‘19 cos Kyo had tears in his eyes as he was transforming which hurt my heart and also just cos you know it’s in high def andddd the transformation isn’t a cloud, it’s fire embers. This is great gore-y content and I’m a little desensitised cos I had to watch/read this scene three times in one sitting so...

I loveeee Tohru’s resilience. Kazuma’s here saying soliloquies and philosophical questions and Tohru just takes off after Kyo! And the manga and ‘19 version definitely wanted to highlight this message to the upmost: Tohru’s love is so STRONG. And BADASS. But, a part of me also loves the time ‘01!Tohru takes to evaluate the situation cos in all fairness... it is a very shocking reveal (if Tohru wasn’t already shocked enough from them turning into animals)

I like how in ‘01 anime we don’t get the inner monologue of Tohru evaluating what she saw. It leaves the whole notion of Tohru chasing after Kyo a little more mysterious as to whether she will or not. And the silence says it all anyway. Only the sound of the falling rain... I like it better. I tend to lean towards scenes with more action and less dialogue as someone who apparently learns better through visuals rather than dialogue.

Akito appearing like a fuckin ghoul out of nowhere is still ridiculous haha but I have to give kudos to the ‘01 English VA Chad Cline. He definitely elevates the scene when he says this one sentence:

- I also like that this event (and also Akito) feeds into Tohru’s insecurity of not truly being a part of specifically Kyo and Yuki’s world. Not truly understanding them. She’s been living with them for almost a year by now(?) and I’m sure she felt because she knew the worst secret of them already there couldn’t have been anything even worse. And in a way, she feels cheated? ALSO KYO JUST TURNED INTO A FREAKIN ALIEN CAT MONSTER. I know Tohru’s very much aware that she still has much to learn about them but she couldn’t have predicted this. And it kinda puts her on the level of being an outsider once again. I like that it concentrates on Tohru’s own feelings towards her place rather than just her feelings towards Kyo.

...I’m gonna get into some heavy 2001!Shigure defending, so I’m sorry if you don’t favour this iteration - stick with me for a sec lol

I’m ignoring all the ‘it’s not accurate, it’s not real’ chants in my head because... LOOK HOW DEJECTED HE LOOKS.

...

2001 gave me everything I wanted from Shigure as a character. Yes, he’s very interesting and conniving and fun as he was originally depicted. But... this Shigure has emotions and is fully showing them! That’s all I FUCKIN WANT. I just want him to show that even though he’s making these dangerous moves and manipulating people for his own benefit, that he has a conscious that is eating away at him and eventually will break. It may be too early in the story for an event like this to take place but I do appreciate that it’s shown. I get very frustrated with the fact that Shigure stays somewhat the same throughout the course of the manga but I guess the only person who does stay the same in the story is the narrator...

- I don’t know if the director of the 2001 version knew that they only had one season to translate Fruits Basket somewhere in the making of these three episodes, or even before. But, it definitely shows with the choices they make with the inclusion of Shigure, Uo, Hana, Kagura and Yuki in the search for Kyo. It’s almost as if they read future arcs and felt to just mash an iteration (or bastardisation) of it to try and conclude the whole story... which was quite a desperate move.

I also like the way this scene closes.

👌🏾

I actually really like this moment from Kagura! She’s actually being mature! And rational... and sort of letting go of Kyo at the same time. I do think if Fruits Basket ‘01 was given another season, it would’ve been fleshed out (obviously) but it’s such a great moment. Again, these are all signs that the end was nigh and they felt they had to tie up all the character arcs that were involved very quickly and I don’t necessarily blame them for trying. It just made them look a bit silly when looking from a 2019 view.

- But yeah, Yuki being involved is a no-no. He felt the most out of place when it comes to ‘characters that should’ve not been involved’. He makes a point when he finds Kyo about how they should both stop running away but it’s not fully fleshed out enough before this event for me or anyone else to care about. It’s kind of unfortunate cos I quite like the concept of Yuki being there especially tying in to how Yuki comes to a realisation of himself and Tohru’s relationship.

- Also, are Yuki and Kagura tight like that? Lol for him to go rushing after Kyo basically cos she asked? mmmm.... 😓

This is actually my favourite moment from the 2001 version of the True Form Arc! It’s visually stunning and haunting and just... interesting. I like that they included the cats. Cats that would normally gravitate to Kyo but are now taking the voices of haunted figures of his past. Whether it’s in his head or not.

In general, I felt Kyo’s mental anguish in the ‘01 version was a lot more artistically styled and creative. Very creepy and even more sad.

I do like that Tohru went to her mother’s grave for comfort/guidance before finding Kyo. I probably would’ve included a scene like that myself in the 2019 version as it adds a preliminary to Tohru’s future conflict between her love for her mother and her love for Kyo. AND it also adds time between the night Kyo transforms and the eventual sunrise when she finds Kyo. How far is Kyoko’s grave from the Sohma house? Lol

But yep, Uo and Hana being there was irrelevant but it’s pretty funny that Hana’s waves were used as a last minute explanation as to why they felt they had to attend Kyoko’s grave. But, I guesss the writers wanted to use this as a moment of Uo and Hana letting go of their ‘daughter’ to let her become a woman (reminds me of Yuki’s comment of how he saw Tohru as a woman when she ran after Kyo) and go after her man. It’s a conclusion... but it’s meshed with so many other themes and conclusions that it ALL DOESN’T MATTER. Plus, I don’t really like this as a thing; Uo and Hana will always be Tohru’s surrogate parents. ALWAYS.

Anyway, look at this beautifully depressing visual that ‘01 gave us for THREE EPISODES *sips wine*:

But seriously, while the visuals are so drastically dark compared to rest of the ‘01 season and are dragged out for sooooo longg, it is a very beautifully, depressing design. I love the way that all background music is edited out. Everyone is crying. Everyone is confused. The sound of rain is a constant throughout it. Honestly? It almost broke me cos the heaviness of it is exhausting, haha. And I have to commend it on pure shock value cos ‘01 Fruits Basket was barely dark until this arc. I think that’s what essentially made me adore it when I first discovered the ‘01 anime. I hadn’t read the manga so I didn’t know any better, but the darkness and pain in this arc is so beautifully shown and I feel like people forget that when critiquing the ‘01 version.

They jam packed a whole lot of character arcs in here when really the story should be focused on Kyo and Tohru’s reaction to Kyo. And I honestly, don’t blame them. It’s just too much at once that you don’t get to appreciate any arc at all because it’s not pushed to it’s full potential. It’s mostly just a feeling of sadness... that you later equate into genius... because it’s sad? Which, I guess, could be seen as manipulatively clever? But now that we have the 2019 version, I think people will be more likely to decipher the bad from the good. Like, I have :)

- BACK TO 2019 VERSION: Wow, Kyo, really took out a whole cliff, huh?

I honestly got impression from the manga that Kyo did push and injure Tohru enough for her to get a huge amount away from him but not so far that she fuckin DIVES INTO A LAKE. My God, this was a bit dramatic lol

Ouch... that wound looks worse in the anime than the manga...

QUEEN TOHRU. I love everything about this.

You guys know I LOVE a good parallel and look at this couple meeting each other’s needs and taking their first steps. I can’t. I’m going to be crying into my wine soon. Nothing needs to be said about this scene, except excellence in ALL AREAS.

🎵TEARS STREAM.

🎵DOWN YOUUURRR FAAACEEEE

🎵AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....

I can’t get over Kyo’s face in this moment. I just- MY HEARRRTTTT. GOD TAKE ME. PLEASE. Couples that cry together, stay together. Omggg.

Even if we can’t agree on much when it comes to 2001 vs 2019, we can both agree that Tohru stays being an ethereal goddess. OUTFIT APPRECIATION. LIFE APPRECIATION. I’m so tired. haha.

So in conclusion, I think 2001 succeeded at showing all the three main points of the True Form Arc. I just think it got the message of this being a Kyo/Tohru centric tail a bit misconstrued because they wanted to make this a general zodiac tale of them finding freedom and release through Tohru. And it definitely takes away from the Kyoru centric storyline that runs through the True Form Arc. And while I think the True Form Arc could’ve used another episode in the 2019 version, it’s quite clear that 2019 wins this battle in all areas of it being a more whole and complete yet emotional and stunning version of the True Form Arc.

I would go into what happens at the end of episode 26 in the ‘01 version but it honestly kinda angers and frustrates me? And I’m mentally exhausted soooo, I might go into it some time next week before the next 2019 episode drop. Also, I’ll tie up some thoughts of the ‘01 version of Kyo and Kagura’s date. This was fun! Only took half a day to organise my thoughts, ahaaaa.

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket 2019 #fruits basket 2001

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

Note

Saarai for love headcanons?

The other twin and my unashamed new favourite, I could talk about her all day tbh! Thank you for asking! :D

From this ask game: [x]

Trigger warning: brief mention of past trauma/assault (I guess, I’m never sure what to tag it as but I think thats the best thing to call it), emotional manipulation and gaslighting in the fourth and third-from-bottom question(s) - regarding past relationships and effect on current ones. Nothing is described in detail but it is mentioned, so if this is triggering or otherwise upsetting to you please skip that part or this ask/answer entirely. I won’t be offended, and because of this I’m gonna toss the text under a read more just as an extra precaution, stay safe! <3

Everything else is pure unadulterated fluff to make up for everything else bad I’ve/they’ve done to her tho :’3

When they discover they’re got a crush: Fully embraces it and rolls with it, she’s a romantic at heart (and also needs to go to horny jail a fair bit of the time), crushes are a wonderful, exciting thing to her. Daydreams a lot. Will give it a go and test the waters nearly immediately (depending on some factors ofc), but backs off equally as quickly if they seem uncomfortable or otherwise uninterested by her advances.

How they confess/hint: Makes quite the nuisance of herself, always popping up to check on them, wanting to sit near/be around them, chatters about anything and everything she can think of, plenty of flirting including anything from more chaste compliments on things she likes about them, to subtle and/or not-so-subtle innuendo at times, depending on what they’re most receptive to.

Big gestures of love: Cuddles (she can be the clingiest lover known to the galaxy and her octopus arms are inescapable XD) and/or kisses, even if it doesn’t lead to the bedroom, long walks together, picnics in the wilderness, listening to each other and talking things out (whether to do with their relationship or something else that either one is struggling with and needs support for, and this goes both ways), sitting quietly when they don’t feel like talking “just so she knows they’re there”, falling asleep together

Little gestures of love: Flirty banter, inside jokes, pet names, stroking or playing with her hair (she purrs and leans into it like a cat, her partners like to joke that she’s a “Cathar trapped in a Pureblood’s body” because of this), silly “arguments” over whose turn it is to do the chores (though she sulks when she loses and her partner insists on doing said chore(s) instead of letting her do them XD), tucking their head under her chin when they cuddle

How to win their heart: Be honest, respect for boundaries, communication, communication, communication, including calling her out on her shit if she says or does something that upsets/bothers them and be clear about what (so she can fix it and hopefully not repeat whatever it was a second time)

How to break their heart: Lie to her, or try to manipulate her for your own gain. No respect for boundaries she tries to set and trying to push her into something she doesn’t want, or even letting her do that to you because you weren’t brave enough to say something - she wants you to tell her these things, she’ll never be angry if you tell her “no”, no matter what or when, but she will be heartbroken if she finds out she did something that hurt you because she didn’t pick it up and you didn’t tell her it was hurtful.

Tiny little turn-ons: subtle little touches like a hand on her knee under the table, flirty banter again, sideways glances and holding eye contact for a moment before looking away and pretending it was accidental, tracing patterns across her knuckles or the back of her hand while she holds theirs, dancing closer together than is necessary just to have as much contact between them as possible

Big turn-ons: Husky voices, even if you’re only saying her name, fingertips or kisses brushed along her jaw spurs (if she’ll let you touch them), nips/nibbles between kisses, whispered or purred words against her skin, leaning in for a kiss only to pull away at the last second and make her go to them instead

Things that make their heart flutter: Standing up for yourself, even if it means yelling at her when she’s being stupid (and sometimes especially then), coming to her defence when you think she needs it, seeing someone she cares about genuinely happy and enjoying themselves for whatever reason, excitement when talking/telling her about their favourite thing

Their type: Shorter than her, reserved and soft-spoken but also able to hold their own when it’s necessary. Playful and open to joking around and bantering (without being hurtful about it)

Ideal date: Anything at all. She’s not fussed as long as she’s with someone she loves. It can literally be “sit on the sofa and eat takeout”, as long as they’re together it’s perfect. For something lighthearted and “fun” while still going out, a karaoke bar will always be a hit. ;)

Past relationships:

Ty’s father, Tsâhis: In both verses/renditions, though not her first experience with a man, he was her last physically intimate one, and her first experience with a long-term relationship. Unfortunately it was not a good one. Without going into too much detail about it: he was emotionally manipulative, pushy, gaslit her constantly and essentially blackmailed her to keep her in the relationship so he could trick as much information as he wanted out of her, he didn’t care about her at all, only about what she could give to him and about the fact he could boast that he had a pretty lady on his arm that would do whatever he asked her to do. It ended very badly when she finally realized that wasn’t what real love was and tried to leave him and he tried to kill her so she couldn’t leave and . She fought back and survived (obviously), but it’s left her with a lot of emotional (and physical - most of the scars on her body and the main one on her lip come from that struggle) scarring.

Xerid Ferral: exclusive to the Zephyrverse AU, as they wouldn’t cross paths in Subterfugeverse. Xerid was the alternate Wrath for that verse/timeline and Saarai’s only other long-term relationship (other than Tsâhis) before Sash. While it wasn’t toxic like Tsâhis was, it was certainly unhealthy due to being fairly one-sided. Saarai loved Xerid but, although she was loyal to Saarai because of her family name and her connection to D’leah, the feelings were not reciprocated and Xerid viewed the relationship very much as “I’m protecting you because I swore an oath to do that but the sex is just a bonus and there aren’t any emotional feelings attached”. Xerid later dies to protect Saarai and Vano during a fight so that ends the relationship and after grieving for a while she starts getting closer to Sash and eventually ends up with her, although if Xerid had lived they would have again gone their separate ways (though more amicably) once Saarai and Sash met, because Sash is able to give Rai the kind of relationship she wants and Xerid wouldn’t have held that against her either.

Various other one-night stands, all women, and none particularly worth mentioning. She never trusted any of the others enough to stick with them longer than needed to scratch an itch.

How they might affect current relationships: Tsâhis in particular has had quite an effect on her relationships, because of the things that happened on that night, she just can’t be intimate with men, it’s not something she’s comfortable ever doing again after that. In fact it takes her a long time to trust men as anything other than an acquaintance, much less romantically; Koth becomes an exception to this as thanks to his easygoing and empathetic nature and the fact that he never pushes her into anything she doesn’t agree to, she does end up trusting him and developing quite a deep emotional bond with him. It took her a long time (and in fact the party in the cantina at the end of KOTFE is the first time she really starts to properly relax around him and the first time she’s comfortable doing typical “couple-y” things with him like holding hands or cuddling up with him) and although they’re never physical in that way, in some ways she’s a lot closer to Koth than she is to Lana because he’s just easier to talk to about those sorts of things.

It affected her relationship with Sash in the Zephyrverse AU too, though not quite as extensively because Sash is a woman, but there were a lot of times early on in their relationship where Saarai overreacted to simple little gestures or touches because of a flashback and they both had to learn to adapt to that; Sash had to learn what was and wasn’t okay, Rai had to learn to trust Sash and realise that she wasn’t trying to hurt her. They do eventually get through it together, but it was a big challenge for them in the beginning <3

‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc): Marriage is a nice end goal, but what’s most important to Saarai is a healthy relationship built on mutual trust (both when together & apart, she’ll worry and she understands they will worry about her too, but there shouldn’t be unhealthy levels of suspicion or distrust) and regular communication.

Any other love headcanons: Always says “I love you” to her partner(s) before they a) separate for different missions or b) go into battle, just in case she or they don’t come back and it’s the last thing they ever remember her saying to them.

#Q&A with the crew #oc asks #oc love headcanons #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #tw: past trauma #tw: past abuse #tw: past assault #her backstory is one of the heavier ones i'm sorry #but it's a big reason why CURRENT saarai is so soft and considerate and fluffy with her partners #so here you go here's like...most of the tea on that #i hope it doesn't depress everyone too much #i think all the other fluff balances it out nicely huh #anyways i love her and it makes me stupid happy to write about her being happy and in healthy relationships now #pauletta-00 #thank you for asking!

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coffeestainsandcashmere · 4 years

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‘All that’s best of dark and bright’ - a Draco x Hermione x Theo story - Chapter Three

For anyone reading on Tumblr and not on Ao3, here’s Chapter Three. Thank you so much to everyone who commented on Ao3 - you made my entire life with this. My venomous tentacular is fed and watered, and my creative patronus charm is nourished.

Chapter One here: Tumblr | Ao3

Chapter Two here: Tumblr | Ao3

“Right you are,” Hagrid beamed, shuffling a little bit on the spot. As he looked down at her, she realised that he was wearing the same, achingly worried expression he had when they’d all shown up that night with Ron hurling slugs and Hermione in tears. Somehow remembering that almost made her smile. “You, uh, want somethin’ to drink? Pumpkin juice? Tea maybe?”

Automatically, she shook her head. “I’m fine, thank you, Hagrid.” You’re not being a bother, and he asked you, she scowled silently. You’re allowed to ask for things you’d like. “No, actually, a cup of tea would be lovely, if you’ve got the kettle on.”

“You know me, Hermione,” Hagrid chuckled, obviously glad for something practical to do. “Kettle’s always on ’ere.”

Hermione smiled and watched the enormous man bumble back inside his modest, stone hut, and inhaled deeply. The air was cool and damp here on the edge of the forest, sheltered from the prevailing winds, and it carried with it the eerie, haunting croon of thestrals and the other creatures that lived in the forest, accompanied all the while by the soft susurrations of the breeze through the pine trees. If she strained her imagination hard enough, she could pretend to hear the swish of Buckbeak’s wings, or the hoarse croaks of young baby Norbert. A faint waft of cold smoke coiled up from the empty ashes in the fire pit, and the green scent of earth filled her mind for a long moment, stilling it for the first time in weeks. If anywhere felt like home now, it was probably here.

Alone for a little while, except for Fang, Hermione sank down onto a log and then, just because she felt like it, she lay down along its length and crossed her ankles. The wood formed a cool pressure right along her body, grounding her, and she sighed, hair splayed out beneath her head in a wild riot of curls.

Fang immediately plonked himself down on the ground beside her, the old dog leaning against the log as if it needed him to buttress it up, and she hooked her arm affectionately around his thick neck. “You’re like a giant teddy bear,” she chuckled as he tipped his head in her direction and tried to lick her face. Mercifully, he was just out of range. “An incredibly slobbery giant teddy bear, I’ll grant you, but still.” She was glad that, despite everything, Fang had made it through the war. He felt as much a part of this place as Hagrid did.

“So how’s things?” Hagrid asked as he emerged once again, the strong, milky contents of two giant mugs slopping slightly over the edge as he jostled with the door. He put one down on the log next to her to cool a little, and then eased himself down onto a log opposite her.

It groaned ominously, but held.

“Busy,” she said honestly and he chortled a big, rumbling laugh, belly shaking.

“Yer always busy, Hermione!” he said, still chuckling fondly. “I’d be worried if yeh weren’t. But how’s things without Ron and Harry? Yer not lonely, are yeh? And how are they getting on?”

She sucked the insides of her cheeks suddenly to keep from crying, emotions swelling inside her again as if under an engorgio charm. “I suppose they’re busy as well,” she said carefully, but her voice still trembled.

Fang nosed at her hand and licked her fingers gently.

“You ‘suppose’?” Hagrid asked, the quiet promise of thunder in his gentle voice.

With a heavy sigh she draped her free arm back over her head, enjoying the languorous stretch and feeling a bit like Crookshanks in his favourite sunny spot back at The Burrow. “I thought… I thought it would be alright without them,” she began. “And it is, for the most part, honestly. But… you know they’re both doing grown-up things like Auror training and earning a living already - Ron’s working in George’s shop in Diagon Alley - and meanwhile I’m… well, I’m still at school, Hagrid. It’s no wonder they haven’t bothered to write to me. They’re probably both too busy being important.”

“Oh Hermione,” he crooned gently, that thunderously protective edge still lurking in his voice, “Don’t talk like that. Yer bloody brilliant, you are. Yer gonna get the best marks anyone has ever seen at Hogwarts - better ‘an Dumbledore and McGonagall put together - and then yer gonna go on to do wonderful things when you leave here. It ain’t a rush and it ain’t a competition.”

Despite the fact that she laughed at his earnest, honest words, tears suddenly spilled from the corners of her eyes and disappeared into her wild hair as she lay there on her back. Fang shuffled himself around and tried to lick them off, but she really did draw the line at that and gently pushed his muzzle away before he could smear his hot tongue and vile slobber over her face.

“Thanks, Fang,” she said gently, knowing that the dog was emotionally intelligent, if maybe not quite so intellectually. “I’m just… I just… I feel so alone, Hagrid. I’ve got Ginny, of course, and Neville and a few others, but no one else has been through everything that we did - not the way that Harry and Ron and I did - and I feel like no one else… understands that. Ginny does, to an extent, but she was still sheltered for some of it.”

Always running; setting up the wards and constantly jumping at every last noise; foul, out of the way places to call ‘home’ for a few nights; exhaustion; fear bordering on mania; bickering; tempers fraying; desperation; isolation; helplessness; pain; the agony of loss again and again…

She stroked Fang’s smoke-soft coat for a bit, fingers skimming the silvery fur, and eventually began to feel a bit better for the contact. Hagrid didn’t speak and she loved him for his quiet patience.

After a while, she added, “Don’t get me wrong, Hagrid, I’m glad no one else had to go through it all, but… Sometimes I feel like the only person here at Hogwarts who has been through as much is… well… is Draco Malfoy, so you can imagine my sentiments about that.” But… what were her sentiments about that, exactly? She found that she didn’t like to dwell on it, actually, since examining it only seemed to muddy the waters.

Hagrid was quiet for a just moment longer before he said quietly, “He came to see me on the first day of term, you know?”

At that world-tilting revelation, she looked over at him sharply. “What?” she barked.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his beard and taking a huge gulp of tea. “Can’t say I was too happy to see him, o’course, but… before I could set Fang on him, he just apologised. Stood there with his hands in his pockets and said he was sorry for… for Buckbeak, and for my house getting burned, and everything. Said he knew he couldn’t make it right, but he wanted to clear the air a bit.”

“What did you tell him?” she asked faintly.

“I told him that if he really meant it, then… well… I’m no acromantula; I won’t hold a grudge forever. But if he’s really sorry for everything - an’ I mean everything - then he’ll start to do some good with that name of his, instead of bad.”

She snorted and looked back up at the sky. A patch of blue in the shape of a Welsh Green dragon had opened up above her and was drifting lazily overhead towards the Forbidden Forest. She watched it as she said, “Can’t imagine he took that very well.”

“Actually, he just nodded and said ‘yeah’ before walking back off to the castle on his own. I had to have a whole mug full of firewhisky just to settle myself down afterwards,” he snorted. She didn’t blame him. She’d felt like she needed a whole bottle of the stuff after Malfoy had apologised to her in Potions, and that had been over something fairly inconsequential. “He looks awful. Like someone took all the starch out of him, Hermione. Like he’s got nothing left no more.”

She sighed and found herself nodding in agreement. “It’s like I keep seeing two Malfoys, Hagrid. There’s the snotty little pureblood boy from first year who was just awful and defensive and volatile, always seeking approval and validation… and then there’s this haunted young man with all the weight of grief and guilt on his shoulders, and… I don’t know how to reconcile the two. Or if I even need to. Or if I should!” She cringed, realising how shrill her voice had grown, and Fang whined softly. “Sometimes I really think he’s changed and he’ll surprise me - like today, when he made a flippant comment and it took me completely off guard. Then he apologised afterwards and I nearly passed out. I couldn't believe that Draco Malfoy was apologising to me - especially for something so petty!”

“Imagine how I felt,” Hagrid said wryly.

Another sigh rolled out of her but before she had time to say any more about Malfoy’s cruelly snapped comments and acrid personality, footsteps on the gravel path leading down to the pumpkin patch drew their attention. Fang didn’t budge from her side, but he gave a low, warm ‘woof’ of greeting, as Neville came intro sight.

“Hello Hagrid, Fang,” he beamed. “Hermione!” he added when he spotted her.

“Hi Neville,” she replied, sitting up again and dusting off her skirt. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Likewise. Thought you’d be in the library!”

She tried not to let the innocent comment sting and Neville carried on while she drained half of her mug of tea in one go. It was strong enough to tan leather, but the taste of it fortified her somehow.

“Come to collected those chizpurfles for the venomous tentacula’s weekly feed, Hagrid, if you don’t mind. And some more doxy venom if you have it. Professor Slughorn asked me to pick some up next time I stopped by.”

“Right you are,” Hagrid grunted as he got up off the log and stumped off into his hut.

Hermione looked up at Neville over the rim of her mug and realised just how much he’d grown up too. He was almost handsome now. He met her eye and flashed her a curious frown, and she laughed softly and set the mug down. Fang began to lap at the remnants and she abandoned it happily enough to him. “I was just talking to Hagrid about how much we’ve all grown up since first year. How’s life as Professor Sprout’s teaching assistant?”

Some of the few ‘eighth years’ had been adopted by various members of staff as teaching assistants, and she’d been approached by no fewer than three. Muggle Studies was plenty enough for her though.

“Oh it’s going great,” Neville beamed. “Professor Sprout’s letting me grow the squill on my own and they’re doing really well so far. Slughorn needs them for his Felix Felicis class later this term.”

“That’s great,” she said, and she really meant it. He deserved to be happy after everything. Rumour had it that he and Hannah Abbott were getting closer and closer too.

“What about you? You seem busier than ever…” he said.

With a long inhale and a knowing look, she nodded. “Yes. Speaking of, I should stop talking Hagrid’s ear off and get back up to the castle. I’ve got three essays to finish today and Charms at sixth period.”

Hagrid emerged a moment later with a small crate of assorted things for Neville and he chuckled fondly. “That’s our Hermione, eh Neville? Never sitting still for more ‘an five minutes at a time!” He paused before handing the crate to Neville and added, “Yer welcome here any time - all of you lot, you know that. You need a cup of tea, or a cuddle with Fang, yer more ‘an welcome to it.”

Her throat closed up a little and she promised herself she wasn’t going to cry. “Thanks, Hagrid. And you, Fang,” she smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and earning a thwack around the calves from his tail for the effort.

“You going back up to the castle, Neville?” she asked and he nodded.

“Well, greenhouses,” he amended.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

“See you Hagrid!” they both chimed and she headed back with her chest feeling considerably lighter. Something did lurk in the background though, like a grindylow in the weeds, but she tried not to give it any attention. Malfoy. It was all their talk about Malfoy. And she didn’t want to think about him just then. Neville, it seemed, had no such concerns about bringing up the Slytherins.

As they neared the greenhouses, footsteps crunching on the compacted gravel pathway, he asked, “How are your prefect patrols with Nott going?”

“You heard about that, huh?” she grinned.

“Ginny mentioned something about prefects being paired with different houses. Is he alright? I never really knew him ‘before’.”

Before. That word carried such weight. She tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear only for it to spring loose again immediately. “It’s not bad, actually. I was wary at first, but I’ve got to know him a bit in some of my classes too, and he’s honestly not awful. He’s a cocky little shit, don’t get me wrong, but… he’s also kind of nice.”

“For a Slytherin…” Neville snorted playfully.

“No, for anyone,” she said evenly. “He’s extremely smart, and surprisingly considerate, and he’s even rather witty. I don’t mind being on a rota with him at all.”

Neville shot her a long look but eventually shrugged. “What do Harry and Ron have to say about it?”

Her chest twisted painfully and she looked away. “They’re not my keepers, Neville,” she snapped under her breath.

“I didn't mean it like that,” he said patiently. “I just… I just meant… never mind. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” she insisted. “I’ve been in a funny mood all day. I’m sure Luna would tell me it’s wrackspurts or something.”

Neville smiled and they parted ways at the greenhouses with a promise to catch up at lunch.

All in all, Hermione wasn’t sure that her trip to Hagrid’s had done much other than fill her up with mightily strong tea, but the walk had probably done her good and put some colour in her cheeks, as her mother used to say. God, she missed her parents. Kingsley Shacklebolt had promised to send agents to check in on them from time to time, but he’d sent no word lately of how they were doing. No news, she assumed, meant good news at least.

The remainder of her day passed relatively uneventfully, and she got the homework done in good time, just as she’d planned.

It still felt oddly as if she were drifting about the place, more of a ghost than any of the genuine spirits who haunted the halls of Hogwarts, but she half hoped she could get the chance to talk to Malfoy again in Charms that afternoon. The tentative truce they’d shared in the first few weeks of term - polite nods and tersely academic conversation - seemed in danger of fracturing and shattering. If it went now, she wasn’t sure they’d get another chance to repair the damage done by their shared history.

Malfoy, however, sat beside Nott and didn’t look up at all from his textbook, except to perform an impressively nonchalant flick of his wand to transform some vinegar into a rather inviting-looking glass of champagne at Flitwick’s invitation. He even transfigured the glass in the same sweep to turn it from a squat, ugly tumbler into an elegant flute.

“Very nice, Mr. Malfoy,” Professor Flitwick chirruped. “Now, Miss. Granger, can you tell us why such a charm is taught here in this classroom, and not in Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall? Extra transfigurations notwithstanding,” he added with a flash of his eyes at Malfoy.

Because taking classes with obnoxiously stubborn Slytherins drives one to drink… “Well, simply put: oxidation of the ethanol in the wine forms ethanoic acid which produces vinegar. All this charm does is force that oxidation reaction to run the other way, and return the vinegar to its original, reduced state. You can repeat the charm as many times as you like, oscillating between vinegar and wine, but that’s all you could do. It’s why you couldn’t use this charm to convert orange juice into champagne. You’d need to transfigure that, as Malfoy did rather neatly with the glass,” she added in his direction.

Malfoy’s silver eyes darted from the page in front of him where he’d been doodling - small drawings of owls and serpents, she thought, though it was hard to tell from that angle - and found her face. She offered him a tiny smile, and to her surprise, he returned it, though the gesture was barely more than a twitch of one corner of his full lips.

“Very good,” Professor Flitwick said, returning to the front of the small classroom. “Now, for our next charm, I have something a little less… frivolous in mind. Miss Granger, if you’d be so kind as to come down to be my demonstration partner?”

She shunted her chair back and stood, smoothing out her skirt automatically before coming down to the front of the room. It felt odd to have everyone’s eyes on her, and she almost had to close her own for a moment to remind herself that she was not back at the Ministry, and Malfoy was no longer on trial. Her eyes flickered up to his shot of silver hair in the back row, but he was doodling again. She was at Hogwarts, and she was supposed to be listening to Flitwick so that she knew which bloody charm he wanted to demonstrate with her.

“…is a protective charm that will create a barrier around the caster and keep them from the view of people on the other side,” Flitwick said.

Oh heck, did she know this one. And she’d probably cast it accidentally in her sleep a hundred times since returning from their life on the run.

“Hermione?” Flitwick asked, “Are you alright? You’ve gone a shade… green.”

“I’m fine, Professor,” she smiled, tamping everything down inside her again. “You want me to cast it now?”

“If you would be so kind.”

Bringing her hand up, she flicked her wand and muttered, “Cave inimicum.”

The shuddering wall of magic descended around her, muffling and distorting the voices of the class. From the safety of her invisible bubble, she could stare openly at Malfoy and she discovered, to her surprise, that he’d been wearing an oddly intense expression as he’d watched her cast. Nott, sitting beside him, looked as casual as ever at first glance, but now that she took the time to look a little longer, she saw an intense light in his dark blue eyes that had only kindled when Malfoy had leaned forwards on the desk, long fingers folded in front of him, his icy grey eyes alive and roiling with emotions she couldn't read.

“Thank you, Miss Granger,” Flitwick’s voice echoed dully through the barrier to her ears. “Presuming you’re still there, of course.” He chortled amusedly at his own joke. “Now, if I stick my hand through the barrier, it will disrupt it, but if I step inside entirely —” he did so, and she smiled as the tiny wizard looked up at her and the charm fractured but held tenuously, “— you will see how easily the illusion is shattered. Of course, you can still hear through one of these barriers, so the caster will have to use other enchantments to reduce noises.”

Someone made a predictably crass comment about having a quickie behind the broomstick sheds with this one, and half the class snorted. Those students among them who had already discovered such charms either kept extremely still in their seats, or flushed slightly. Hermione managed to do neither, but she thought she detected a slight warming of Theodore’s freckled cheeks. Interesting. She’d not known him to have shown any romantic interests, but then again, she’d had slightly more important things on her mind than who was sleeping with whom in sixth year. Except for Ron. She’d known exactly who he was sleeping with, and it had made her nearly mad with jealousy. That she’d been so petty over the business with Lavender - rest her soul - was something that still gnawed away at her. In the end, Hermione and Ron had been better off as friends anyway. She often wondered if Lavender would have been good for Ron in the long run. She’d never know now.

Mechanically, she took down the enchantment at Professor Flitwick's request, and returned to her seat.

“Used that one before have you, Granger?” a blond seventh year Slytherin seated on the second row leered. He reminded her so viscerally of Cormac McLaggen that her gut twisted unpleasantly.

With her expression stony, she paused just behind him and replied in a voice just loud enough to carry, “Came in handy once or twice last year for evading snatchers, yes,” she said tartly before sitting down and glaring at her textbook. Malfoy said nothing nor looked at her.

She snuck a sidelong look at him a minute or two later as Flitwick wrapped up the class, and saw that he was gripping his wand in his left hand so hard his knuckles had faded a few shades lighter than the rest of his skin, and a muscle in his jaw was pulsing. Theodore shuffled beside him and a moment later, the tension eased in Malfoy. He let out a long, slow breath through his nose and then Draco looked at her. The pain in his eyes - the open, unshielded, raw pain - stole her breath. Unthinkingly, she almost reached for his shoulder, but she caught herself in time and instead offered him a smile. ‘I forgave you’ she tried to convey with just her eyes.

Malfoy’s face hardened again and he looked away.

As the bell tolled for the end of class, he stood up and left without a word, shoving past Nott and leaving the room in a swirl of black robes.

Hermione pulled a face and found that Nott was offering her a matching grimace. The rest of the class streamed out, but the two of them remained in the lecture room.

“We knew it wouldn’t be easy,” Hermione said, eyes on the doorway where Malfoy had vanished. “After everything… There are bound to be things that come up in class now — potions, spells…” she paused and said pointedly, “Even curses… which, you know, we’ve all used to get by in one way or another. Tell him…” Tell him what? “Never mind. Just — “ she let out another little frustrated huff and shook her head, curls bouncing wildly. Her last hair-tie had spontaneously snapped in the library and she now felt like a real Gryffindor lioness, wandering around with a wild, curly mane haloing her head. There were smoothing charms, but she didn’t fancy messing about with magic in the girls’ bathrooms. She’d done that before, with mixed success. “I’ll see you for patrols tonight,” she said, defeated.

Nott nodded and stepped aside to let her pass out of the row first.

___

Part Four

If you enjoyed, please reblog and share! I’m new to the fandom on here and appreciate all the help I can get!

___

writing masterlist | Ao3

#dramione #draco x theo #draco x hermione #draco malfoy x theodore nott #draco x theo x hermione #draco x hermione x theo #hermione x draco #hermione x draco x theo #theo x draco #harry potter fanfic

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celestialholz · 4 years

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So, let’s talk about The Folly of Jephthah...

Spoiler-y review ahead, friends! Under a cut accordingly. (Spoiler, but not one you need to be saved from: bloody LOVED IT. <3)

Okay, so unpopular opinion: last year’s Flambeau ep did nothing for me. As much as I love Felicia and am always happy to see her return (although this is the first thing I’ve seen from this year’s series, I’m sure she’s a joy this time round too), I felt balancing the episode between her and Flambeau just didn’t work, which is a shame because the actual episode plot was great. He got half the screentime, very little of his normally electric chemistry with FB, and it felt like an absolute waste of the brilliance that is John Light. So beyond anything else, I was desperately hoping that series eight would bring back all of the above; that he’d grow, both as a character and in his acquaintance with the good Father, which is what I want from a Flambeau episode, and that we’d get to see Felicia shine in her own right in a different tale. Now, probably worth mentioning that I ship Flambeau and the Father to the moon and back (#geniushusbands), but that really wasn’t why the episode didn’t work. It didn’t work because neither of them got the time they deserved, and instead became one another’s plot, which is doing a severe disservice to both - they’re strong characters who can more than carry an episode alone. You’ll find no slander from me, Felicia/Flambeau pals - you’re all super valid. Personal preference alone. :)

... But I think perhaps the BBC felt the same way, at least about the time balance, because what we got was an incredible return to form for my favourite Frenchman that isn’t Jean-Luc Picard. We managed to firmly reestablish the wonderful friendship/fairly profound gay overtones of him and FB, at the same time as watching him actually become something of a dad. Allow me to elaborate on why this was so damn amazing...

a) Instant exposition. We’re immediately in on Flambeau, all the reasons why we love him condensed in two or three minutes - flirting, charm, manipulation, theft. Let’s go. THIS is what we were missing last year already.

b) THE CHEMISTRY. IT’S RETURNED. I LOVE IT. I’m obviously a touch biased here, but I’ve never met a Father Brown fan who doesn’t love the dynamic between these two, whether it’s seen platonically, in a familial sense, or romantically. We only get to see this glory once a year, and it came back in all its fully-fledged chaos. Mark and John are absolutely fantastic together, truly. <3 We start with this lovely confessional scene (the GROWTH from The Blue Cross conversation in the same place is just moving, honestly - we need a proper side-by-side comparative, really. I can’t do graphics, please help lol), and we just have this delicious banter; neither is particularly harsh, again showing the growth of friendship over time, but it’s to the point and snappy. Kit Lambert understands that we need to go places but also be instantly grabbed, and it’s managed so well.

c) The fakeout! The fact it was his daughter, and then it wasn’t, but no, hang on, IT BLOODY IS. That’s just a microcosm of how Marianne’s learned from Flambeau that we see more in-depth throughout, and it’s so clever.

d) Flambeau trusts FB. With his daughter’s entire life choices. “There is no man I trust more” indeed... I cherish that this is a spiritual sequel to series four’s episode - Marianne was a whole waste of a single episode character, and she’s absolutely brilliant here too. You see everything she was then, all the potential, all the heart beneath the lack of morality... eurgh. I love her. Gill does an epic job here of balancing these different aspects and still making her so convincing as Flambeau’s daughter.

e) Dad vibes. Seriously, so many dad vibes, from both of them. This is literally what happens when you plot something with one of your parents as a kid, and the other disapproves, and there’s a mini battle in your house but you know it’s all fine because they each love you and you love them. It’s so stupidly sweet that they have this dynamic, that’s been built on from The Cat of Mastigus’s family vibe. Where’s the crime family AU where they bring her up? I’ll write it one day, probably...

f) The general family vibe of the whole thing. My god. Just... Bunty fully believing he won’t hurt anyone? That little Mrs M kiss? Brown just permanently knowing that he won’t go too far, that he’ll have that innate knowledge of where to stop; that he’d never just abandon her to her fate? Brown absolutely trusting Mrs M to be the bag carrier, again knowing that she won’t be hurt? That Flambeau looks so damn offended when Marianne’s eating scones with them? Kill me. Just murder me. It’s precious, without ever being too saccharine. It feels so damn in character for everyone and I adore it - it shows how far they’ve all come, and we didn’t get a damn shred of that last year. It was still very much Flambeau and Brown against the gang, and we see that develop amazingly this time around from past series. <3

g) ... FB is just having far too much fun with all of this, bless him. It’s like “Make us a plan, dear priest”, and suddenly you’ve got chess pieces and elaborate riddles and the man who doesn’t judge as the awkward judge, and it’s fantastic. I really enjoy these moments when you see how bored FB is of his quaint life, that he needs these nuances and intellectual challenges because as much as he loves his vocation, his family and his congregation, they aren’t quite enough to keep him fully happy. I love the role they gave him in this, more as an overseer; the formula of him and Flambeau racing off and being naughty is great and I’ll never tire of it, but this was a different take and it worked so damn well.

h) The dynamic between Marianne and Flambeau is exceptional. It builds so well from what we saw of them before, what we often see of Flambeau; that we’ve always had this guy who is supremely immoral but actually cares far too much, is very afraid of being damaged even more, and so hides behind this intellectual shield until he can’t anymore. We’ve got that constant oneupsman/womanship that we’re so used to with this delightful new spin, with a truly worthy adversary, and we learn so much more of the fact that Marianne really is a chip off the old block - a villain with far too much heart, whilst also being fully her own character. The interplay between them and FB is even better here than it was in series four and it’s a damn delight to watch. The different ways they approached their acquisition of the pieces, too, was just engaging, and again spelled out both the similarities and the differences between them as characters.

i) That whole heel turn/constant twist thing that Flambeau brings is always amazing, but it’s just awesome here. Handcuffs into book stealing into Flambeau putting himself deliberately in danger, on the back foot, to save her, to her saving him... it’s just great. The best thing about Flambeau eps is that we never quite know where we’re going - he’ll win, but we never know how, or to what degree. I think we all know he was never going to shoot that poor guy, but hell, it still had me endlessly intrigued about how it was all going to go down, whether we’re be in fake death central again, whether he’d be properly injured in the process... gah. Just gah. The family reunion thing felt so very earned by the end, because not only had they been through the emotional wringer, but they’d gained one another’s respect... and in the kitchen, of all places. The family, watching the family reunite. Perfection. And it isn’t all sunshine and roses, which I appreciated immensely - you can’t fix abandonment so quickly, and it never felt like a full redemption, just a wonderful beginning. And he won, because of course he did. Beautiful, truly. <3

j) Chess. I don’t care how you wish to take that, that’s just... that’s peak gay, friends. Charged conversations over a chess board, full intellectual prowess on display, smiles all around, and Father Brown finally winning a confrontation between them? Look, I’m just saying, Father - asexuality is super valid. Just marry the man, good lord... but however you all viewed it, the point is, the single best part of Flambeau episodes is always the electricity between these two, and this whole chess thing just brings it front and centre. This is why I felt bereft last season, because we just didn’t get any of this absolute magic, and that was the true crime of the episode. My personal thanks to Kit Lambert for bringing this wonder back. <3

Tl;dr: Flambeau’s back, folks, and he’s better than ever. Found family, actual family, duplicity, scheming, and a very, very bored priest to tie it all magnificently together. God, I hope the rest of the series is this good... <3

#father brown #father brown spoilers #flambeau #marianne

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thevirtualcanvas · 4 years

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Red like Roses

Just a little story about my builder showing her affections for Portia's favourite Captain. I gave him roses every day for two weeks solid to get his affections up and thought – yes! That is a sweet story idea. Arlo getting flustered at getting flowers.

So, enjoy!

“Good Morning, Captain.”

Arlo was teased from his reverie, as a delightful smile and soft voice brought him back to reality.

“Ah, Grace, good morning. How are you?”

Pleasantries, but then again the new builder was very pleasant. She was an unexpected addition to his little town, but as time went on, not an unwelcome one. It was a bright and early spring morning, and they were the only souls in Peach Plaza. A soft pink light shone on everything, shone on her.

“Well, thank you. I'm just headed to the Mayor's house to visit Ginger. I have some things that might cheer her up,” Grace gestured to the little wicker basket in her arms; it was full of goodies, like sweet rolls, a thermos of what he presumed was soup, a pie and a bouquet of roses.

“Would you like some company?” He asked her before he even really thought about it. Embarrassed and shocked by his own outburst, Arlo stiffened, lips tightened as he awaited her answer.

“Sure! That would be lovely, just as long as I'm not taking up too much of your valuable time?”

Arlo thought quickly. “It's on my route – and I need to see Gale this morning anyway. Here let me carry this,” he held his arm out for the basket, she didn't really need the help, but he felt it was the right thing to do. It also might help him focus on something else other than his very pink cheeks that were no doubt blending into his hair.

Grace gave him the basket and started walking up the hill around the base of the Church to the Mayor's house. They walked in tandem, talking easily, the world quiet except their own conversation and a few twittering birds. Arlo found himself relaxed in a way few other Portian's made him, it's not that he didn't like the people here, it's just that few saw beyond his authority. He watched her with cool reverence as she spoke about all of the commission's she'd take on. How each one was its own challenge and the relief and joy she felt when they were completed and completed well.

“Don't get me wrong,” she said casting him a soft smile. “I enjoy my official work, but I get more of a buzz on working on the little projects. The ones that actually help people.”

“They all help,” Arlo found himself saying as he shimmied the basket back up his arm. “Each task you complete is all to enrich the lives of each citizen.”

“Yeah, but the little ones are personal. They help me get to know the people asking me for help. It's nice. You must know what that feels like? I've seen you going above and beyond countless. Walking QQ for Gust when the alliance keeps him busy with new plans. Feeding the chickens for Sophie, when Emily cleans the coop. Picking up extra patrols for Sam and Remy so they can have a lie-in on a Sunday. You don't do them just because it's in your job title, Captain,” she nudged his arm as she spoke. She was warm, he could feel the heat through the stiff layers of his uniform. “Helping builders carry their wicker baskets? It's not official but very much appreciated.”

Arlo relented, he wasn't sure if it was because of the words she spoke, or the fact her beaming face was making him feel like a prepubescent boy all over again. “I take your point. I want to make everyone's lives here safer, easier. I do what I can, but as Captain of the Civil Corps, nothing is really beyond my remit.”

The morning light bounced off her face, eyes glimmering as she took her victory, cheeks full and even at this early time had flecks of coal and dust on them. “Speaking of, I'm nearly finished with your new training dummy's. I should have them delivered by next week, so, I hope you can manage without for a little while longer?”

“Yes, of course, thanks. Not to play favourites but the last ones from Higgins only lasted six months. So I appreciate your discretion on the matter. I wouldn't want to upset him.” It's not that he particularly cared for Higgin's emotions – he just became insufferable when anyone questioned his work. It was not a rant Arlo wanted to endure for a second time.

Grace's smile turned a little mischievous. “He obviously didn't take into account our dear Captain's fierce strength,” was – was she flirting with him? “Not to worry, the springs on the dummy's recoil are composed of galvanised steel and the interior from titanium. They'll have give, but shouldn't break, nor hurt you.”

“I – yes, well, thank you. Again.”

The mayoral house came into view and there seemed to be life inside. Arlo was somewhat relieved, his heart was beating so hard in his chest he was certain she could hear it.

“And here we are. Thank you for accompanying me this morning, Captain,” she said as she opened her hands for the basket of goods. Her fingers brushed his; they were warm and calloused but he wanted to hold them anyway. Grace took the basket from him and held it in the crook of her arm. “It was nice to have an escort, you should do it more often.”

She laughed as she saw him fumble over an apt response, reaching for his hand to apologise for her jesting. He cleared his throat, pushing back the slurry of highly inappropriate thoughts that were swimming in his head.

Grace rapt her knuckles against the door and then turned back to Arlo, she reached into the little basket and grasped at one of the roses. She held it out and urged him to take it.

“Please, take it. It's a 'thank you' for walking me here this morning. Ginger won't notice one missing. Besides, the colour matches, you're supposed to have it.”

“I really shouldn't, Civil Corps shouldn't accept gifts...” he recited, more embarrassed by the contents of the gift than the subject of getting one. He didn't think anyone had ever given him flowers.

Grace tilted her head and chuckled. “It's a rose, Captain. Not a bribe. Go ahead, I promise not to tell.”

Tentatively he reached out and took the delicate present in his hands. It was so delicate, rich with colour and he could even feel the bite of the thorns under his gloves. Coming from her this was – perfect.

“I grew them myself,” she added. “You're holding my first horticultural endeavour. Alice helped me set it up but apart from that the hard graft was all me.”

He noticed how proud she seemed, beaming at the delicate little organic thing in his hands. It served no practical use, not like a bridge, or the dee dee transporters. Yet, she seemed more thrilled by the little rose than all of the mechanical marvel she'd produced in the short time here. He was truly astounded by her. Arlo held it delicately, worried it might fall apart in his hands, inwardly giddy and smitten by the small act of kindness from the builder.

“It is beautiful – you should be proud,” he flitted his eyes to her, to find her entirely focused on him. Watching his every movement. Bated and hooked on his response. He felt wobbly all of a sudden, she'd shuffled closer. Hands to her chest, smiling. She smelled like coal, like fresh bread and the soft roses she'd grown with her wonderfully clever hands. He wondered what it would be like to hold those hands, to hold the rest of her. To lean in and taste those lips and feel that body, strong and study and – he needed to go. He was getting ahead of himself. It was just a flower. Arlo straightened, he took a step back and focused. “I should get going. Give Ginger my best.”

Grace looked confused. “Don't you need to speak to Gale?”

She had him there. “I can catch him later, better go and put this in water,” smooth, Arlo.

Russo had come to the door at that point. They greeted the butler and Arlo used it as his means of escape. Turning on heel, he turned from her. Face blushing furiously.

“Captain?” She called for him.

He couldn't refuse her, he looked back hoping she wouldn't comment on his face. “Yes, Grace?”

“Add a little bit of sugar to the water, it'll help keep the rose for longer,” she told him with the genuine intention of helping him, but also as an opportunity to see that strong and blushing face once more before he left.

“Right, good tip. Thanks, have a good day,” he spat almost too quickly, feeling hot and bothered under her soft gaze.

“You too, Captain. Don't work too hard,” it was said with playful teasing and a coy smile as she entered the Mayor's home.

Arlo dashed away, hoping if he dived into his daily routine his head would clear. Her smile and honest excitement swarmed in his mind, on repeat. As if he could work with her taking over his head.

For a few days, it was quiet, Arlo barely saw Grace, she was working on steel frameworks for the new bridge crossing and was mostly holed up in her workshop or overseeing the bridge construction. And he himself; between protecting the border and dealing with the inane requests of the residents, scarcely had time to think, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He was running, as he always did first thing on the morning. Sam and Remy were ahead, trying to competitively catch up with Paulie, the furniture store owner. There was something about working up a sweat that made him feel good. At six foot three running wasn't always the easiest for him, but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the way his feet smacked off the concrete, how his blood raced through his body and the wind rushed past him in resistance. It made him feel like he was truly working, that these little things would help him become a man worthy of the Flying Pigs. He did a couple of laps around the fountain, waving to Nora and Minister Lee as they set up for the day, and set off at pace down the high street. Sonia was sleepily setting up her stand, Django was chatting lightly to her. Issac trundled out of the archway, chessboard in hand and grunted at hello in his direction. Alice was as punctual as ever at her stand, she was chatting away, she caught his eye and noticeably nudged the person she was talking too. He'd recognise that set of overalls anywhere.

“Captain! Good morning! It's a beautiful day, isn't it?” Grace spun around, calling him over, and his long limbs struggled to stop. He ground to a halt at the edge of Alice's flower stall and used the bridge to support himself as his lungs screeched at the sudden stop.

“Morning Grace, Alice,” he greeted them, holding onto his chest as he forced himself to full height. Arlo was suddenly aware, suddenly embarrassed. He was sweating buckets, his hair was windswept and plastered to his head all at once. His long calves were poking out of a pair of old shorts and weathered trainers. He moved his arms behind his back, a bone of contention for him. Littered with thousands of freckles thanks to the weeks of beating Portian sunshine. She was holding arms full of flowers, a litany of roses, lilies, and others he didn't recognise.

“Hey Arlo,” Alice greeted warmly. “It's supposed to get super warm today. I wouldn't run for too much longer if I were you. Do you need some water?”

The sun was beating down on his head, it was early but he was still feeling it's adverse effects. “Yes, thanks, Alice, that would be great.”

The bespectacled woman smiled at him and reached round into a cooler beside a crate. “No worries, I know the heat can be tricky. We, redheads, have to stick together,” he knew she dyed her hair. It was more auburn at the minute, but when he arrived at Portia you could have mistaken them for twins. She wasn't embarrassed by the colour, she reminded him, just interested in what her flowers pigments could do. It was merely for science.

He chugged it back quickly, almost relishing in the cold, his throat was parched. Arlo wiped the back of his mouth with his hand and exhaled in relief, noticing immediately the builder watching his every motion, double guessing the way she licked her bottom lip with the pad of her tongue. Alice took the empty bottle from him and thanked her again, leaning past Grace to do so, catching the powerful smell of flowers and something else.

“How goes the bridge work?” He asked, eager to get into the desert himself and explore the ruins before the research center and church got their claws into each other about it.

Grace smiled, “It's going great. Though I feel a bit at odds being the only woman in the group. Albert can be quite the charmer, at least he thinks he is. So, it's a good thing I have Gale and Mint at my side to keep him in check. I'm just waiting on my steel to heat enough to work with and I'll get back into this afternoon. I just wanted to get away from the workshop a bit, so I thought I'd bring some flowers over to Alice to bundle and bouquet for me.”

He was perturbed at the thought of Albert being sweet on her, granted he was like that with everyone, but still... “If Albert is being a hassle, I could have a word with him? It's not very professional of him to act like that.”

Grace laughed as she handled the flowers over to Alice. Alice rolled her eyes at him as she turned to work. “Thanks, Captain, but I can handle him. He's harmless. I appreciate the gesture though.”

Of course, she could, and now he was embarrassed all over again. “Right – sorry – I didn't mean to insinuate you couldn't. And what of Higgins, is he behaving himself?”

She shrugged, Higgins had despised her since day one. It's not because he knew her, she was just competition and he couldn't get past that. “So – so. He just ignores me, which is probably for the best. I don't want to argue at work – but thank you for asking.”

“And done!” Alice announced, breaking the awkward silence between them. In her hands the florist held a couple of bouquets; one of lilies, one of roses, and one individual rose wrapped in hessian. He didn't really know flowers, but Arlo could appreciate Alice's talents, they were beautifully arranged with pockets of greenery to break up the colour. She handed them back to Grace, while putting the remainders in her own buckets to make arrangements of her own later on. “There you go Grace, I'm sure Gust and Ginger will be happy with these.”

Grace grimaced slightly. “Oh, I hope so. Ginger has been feeling down a little lately – I hope getting out to visit her mum will help.”

“Oh, so the flowers are for her grave?” Arlo asked, humbled by the kind notion of Grace helping Ginger out.

Grace pointed to each individual bouquet. “The irises are for the grave, the roses are for the house and this – ” She paused at the little individual one, twiddling with the little ribbon wrapped around the hessian. “Well, this one is for you, Captain. It's been a little while and I thought the other one has probably wilted by now. I just wanted to replace it – ”

Arlo looked at the little flower, beautifully wrapped, with petals more delicate and rich than the last one he received. He then looked at Grace, who held it out to him with less certainty than last time. No flirtatious behaviour, in company she'd become as meek and shy as he was. Alice stared at him from behind Grace and nodded at him.

Take the flower, Arlo. It seemed to say. So he did, even though his head was running a million miles a second, and his blood was pumping faster than his interrupted morning run. He didn't really know what to say, well anything appropriate of Captain of the Civil Corps. She was hiding behind the other flower, cheeks pinks, and eyes averted.

“Thank you,” he said. “The other one, despite my best efforts gave up. So – um, thank you for the replacement.”

Something smacked him on the back, he jilted forward and turned around to see Sam teasing him about taking a break. His small teammate's interruption couldn't have come at a better time. Holding the flower firmly in his hand Arlo excused himself.

“Sorry, gotta get moving – have a good day, Ladies,” he waved with the rose, and ran towards Sam and Remy, not looking back but hearing the soft whine of Grace, and the supportive words of Alice.

“You did great,” she said to the Builder. “He'll get it someday.”

Roses appeared everywhere he went.

On his desk at the end of the day. Strapped to Spacer's saddle. Tied to a tree on his route around the city limits. On the internal door of the abandoned ruins by the church. Attached to a finished commission report, or in a box with the finished commissioned items. Each one wrapped in hessian with his title etched onto a cream luggage label. He stored them in his room, away from prying eyes and gossip. Each one was precious and a testament to the way he felt about her. Though it had taken him nearly the whole summer to admit that. He thought she was just being nice, she did nice things for everyone. Food for Django, apples for QQ, fish suppers for Pinky, ruin artefacts for Petra and Merlin, helping Emily and Sophie wrangle the chickens. She even gave flowers to Ginger and Alice. She commissioned a new hat for Sam, and boots with arch support for Remy. She played with Carol and Mars' kids, fed Oaks and Papa bear on the outskirts. Arlo didn't think he was special, he thought the way he felt about her was how everyone felt about her. But then, he didn't think everyone fantasized about kissing her, or taking her on dates, making her smile, or coming home to her at the end of a hard day. They definitely didn't fantasize about taking her to bed, peeling off all of her layers and laying his hands over her until she moaned, no, sung his name, and laying with her until the first light poked through the curtains.

Nope, that last part was definitely just him.

The moment of realisation was his birthday. Sam and Remy had taken him for a meal at the Round Table, Django smiled as they entered the premise.

“Ah my favourite officers of the law, please come in – I've been expecting you. Come take your seat, your meal has already been pre-paid for. Happy birthday, Arlo.”

Arlo thanked the restaurant owner and looked to Remy and Sam. The smiled sweetly and shrugged their collective shoulders.

“I've no idea what's going on,” Sam answered. He didn't believe her.

“No clue, man,” Remy answered, cool as a cucumber. He didn't believe him either.

Arlo stepped across to their usual table, the restaurant surprisingly quiet, and there it was – at his seat, a singular, red rose. He sat down cautiously, took the flower from its small vase and looked at the little luggage tag. For the first time ever since receiving the flowers all those months ago, it read his name. Arlo. He gulped, it felt surprisingly intimate. He flipped it and read the other side. Happy birthday! I bribed Sam and Remy to bring you tonight – enjoy your meal on me! Grace x

“You alright, boss?” Sam asked, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at Sam, hand to mouth and chuckled. “Yeah, I'm fine. An idiot – but okay.”

Sam gave him a cheery smile and shook him with friendly gumption. “She's planned it for weeks you know. So, enjoy it.”

Remy looked at his Captain and clapped his hand against the other shoulder. “But maybe, don't forget to say thank you? Maybe tell her how you feel too, I hear roses are a great way to let someone know.”

“Right – yeah. Thanks, guys.”

They enjoyed the food with gusto. All specially prepared favourites, starters, mains, drinks, and deserts for Remy and Sam. The atmosphere was warm, and light-hearted but he couldn't help but feel like something was missing. She was missing. She should have been here enjoying it too. Some of the other Portian's came over and wished him a Happy Birthday, buying him a drink (non – alcoholic, he still had work in the morning), or giving him a present. He thanked his friends for dragging him out, the other Portian's for their well wishes, and Django for a beautifully prepared meal, but he had to go.

“Go get her!” Sam and Remy encouraged in a united chorus.

Arlo darted from the restaurant, darkness already settled on Portia, he made a beeline for Alice's house and knocked hard on her door. Jack answered, and sleepily called for his sister.

“Hey, Alice,” she answered in pajama's, a book under arm and ink on her fingers. His courage seemed to fail him as he spoke to her. “I have a favour to ask...”

The bookish florist shook her head. “It's not a favour, Arlo. Consider this my present to you. Wait there a moment,” she disappeared back into the warmth of her house. Arlo heard tumbles, what he thought was a swear, and minutes later Alice returned, a bouquet of roses in her arm. It was massive, at least three dozen red roses, all trimmed organised and presented in brown paper, red and white ribbons wrapped around the outside, and dusted with glitter. “There you go, that's what you wanted, isn't it?”

He took the flowers from his friend. “I didn't even ask – does everyone know except me?”

Alice shrugged deftly and leaned against the frame. “Pretty much, Captain,” she pushed her glasses up and reached for him. “She's head over heels for you, Arlo. Go and tell her you feel the same.”

His stomach fluttered, hearing those words from Alice didn't make it any easier to process, but at least so many people were on his side. Yet he was concerned, what about his dreams – what about the Flying Pigs? It's all he'd ever focused on but this gnawing feeling wouldn't leave him. No matter how much he trained, focused, or fought. There she was, the first and last thing he would think about each day.

“Alice,” he hung his head. “I – don't know. I've never done this before. What if she rejects me?”

“You fought monsters, protected our town for years, dealt with every petty squabble Portia's had, and now you're afraid? Oh Arlo. This will be the only certainty you'll ever have, so go,” Jack called from behind her. “Sorry, I have to go. It's getting late. Good luck, Arlo.”

She waved goodbye, and then was gone. Arlo stood at the door for a long moment before willing himself to move. Alice was right, clearly. Grace was expecting something from him, some kind of answer. He wasn't going to chicken out. He rubbed at his arms, the chill of the night Autumn night air piercing through his jacket. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck as he walked quickly to Grace's workshop just outside of Peach plaza. The town was quiet, everyone was either merrymaking in the Round Table or retired to bed for the evening. He hoped she hadn't gone to bed, he might not have the courage to do this again. As he left the safety of the city gates, at the edge of the road he saw the lights to her workshop were still on.

Here I go.

He faked it, strode with purpose, opened the gate, reached her door, and – hesitated. Fist millimeters from the heavy oak door. Arlo grumbled to himself, rested his head against the wood and cursed himself. Coward. He should just go. Before he made a fool of himself. The wood creaked and light fell into the darkness, he jumped back. Pretending he didn't just knock on the door with his own thick skull.

“Captain?” It was her. Hair tumbling around her shoulders, in an old t-shirt and joggers that did nothing to hide soft curves and strong arms. She was beautiful. He wanted to hold her. To bury himself in patches of soft skin and hold those calloused hands against himself.

“Grace, good evening. I'm sorry for calling so late.”

“Shouldn't you be at the Round Table?” She queried, a look of concern on her face.

“I was.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, looking at the sea of red petals in his hands. “I suppose it did. Thank you, for a wonderful surprise. I am truly grateful.”

“But?” Grace asked, folding her arms against herself.

“But,” he continued. “It just wasn't the same without you there. You should have been there, Grace.”

She stammered. “I didn't think you'd want me there.”

“Why wouldn't I? I enjoyed my surprise. But I find myself thinking I would have enjoyed your company more,” he held out the bouquet of roses, finding a reserve of courage. “These are for you, a thank you for my meal and to thank you for all of the things you've done for me recently. I'm sorry I've been too stupid to figure it out.”

Her eyes sparkled, she held the flowers as her life depended on them at that very moment. “Arlo...” she whispered his name and he shivered. It sounded right coming from her lips.

He took a step closer, towering over her, dipping his head forward. “I should have accepted it much sooner, I'm sorry I made you wait, Grace,” he ran a hand through the messy mop of red hair, nervous, but steadfast in his confession. “I like you, Grace, a lot. In ways, I'm not poetic or capable enough to describe. You're unlike anyone I've ever met and, I'd like to spend time getting to know you better than anyone else. That is if you'll have me?”

“Arlo...” she whispered his name once more, clinging onto it like it was hers alone.

Time stood still, they looked at one another, truly, and without pause. He couldn't help but admire her, she embodied everything he strove for. Kindness, intelligence, unequivocal morality, and empathy. He wanted to be with her in every way he could, spending as much time in her glow that she could stand of him. Arlo loved her. He wasn't ready to say it, but he felt it, knew it, in the very core of his soul.

Her face shifted as something had just clicked. Time sped up and in a flash her arms were pulling around his neck, bringing his head closer. Her head tilted and lips found his, hot and flush. She moaned and whimpered against him as he tucked a hand around the base of her spine, being mindful of Alice's creation. She tasted of home, warmth, and sweet tea. He wanted to consume and be consumed by it forever. He shivered at the way her hands ran through his hair and along his jaw. How her breath felt along his mouth and against his face. Arlo loved how her study body demanded his touch, locking into place against him.

He pulled back, smirking, feeling elated beyond measure. “So is that a yes?”

Her cheeks were flushed, and lips swollen. Grace ran her hands through her mussed-up hair and laughed. “That's a resounding yes. Happy Birthday, Arlo,” she pulled him into another passionate kiss, yanking him across the threshold and bolting the door shut behind him.

A single rose sat in the trellis near the gatepost of the workshop. It was a late bloomer, it's deep, red petals were hidden behind walls of thick, green leaves. Grace had trouble coaxing it to unfurl during the Summer and had all but given up. The next morning it emerged, full, plush and with the richest red she'd ever seen. The singular flower stood out against the oranges and browns of the rest of her forecourt and she smiled.

“You too, little rose? I suppose the best things do take some time,” she ran her fingers along the velvet petals, content. She called back to the house. “Arlo, you're going to be late.”

The Captain emerged from her house, a soft smile on his face as he righted the blue neckerchief. “Right – right. I'm on my way. See you later, yeah?” He asked, not quite believing his luck.

She planted a kiss on his cheek, rubbing away at the crumbs by his lips from breakfast. “I'll be here.”

“A Captain's work is never done, I'll be back once I finish my paperwork. Then we could go somewhere, maybe?” He looked coy, she thought it was cute.

Paperwork, hmm? She looked at the rose, looked back at him and had a stroke of genius. “Of course, I'd like that.” She waved him off and took a moment to herself before heading to the commerce guild.

“Well little rose, it took some time, but we finally did it.” Grace left home with a spring in her step and love in her heart.

#my time at portia #mtatp #arlo #arlo x builder #fanfiction #soft #romance #roses

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